Something for Everyone

"So, why are you such an Armoury fanatic?"

It was a fair question, considering that it was aimed at Twilight Sparkle. Rainbow Dash and Applejack hadn't expected to see any of their circle of friends at the viewing party for the HA Cup final, but there was Twilight decked out in the Armoury's red and white, complete with a scarf with a little ballista sewn on. Rarity was similarly unexpected, but at least she had the good manners to look characteristically out of place and confused. As she had explained to an incredulous Applejack, she was there on some kind of bet with the Lotus twins - she had to watch an entire hoofball game to win a free mud bath. Fluttershy, meanwhile, had stayed away to avoid any sort of confrontation between rival fans, and who knew where Pinkie might be?

"Well, my brother's in the Guard."

At this Rainbow Dash and Applejack nodded understandingly, but Rarity decided that she needed a little more clarification. She was rapidly discovering that this hoofball lark was more complex than she had thought. Who knew that matters of politics could get dragged into something as simple as a few stallions bucking a ball up and down a field? "I'm sorry, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"There are two rules to keep in mind," began Twilight. "The first is that if you are in the Guard, you support the Armoury. That's it. No questions, no objections, no exceptions, if you are in the Guard you support the Armoury." The original armoury team had been made up of the blacksmiths and carpenters who constructed the guard's artillery, so it only seemed fair to support them in return.

"And the second rule?"

"If you have family in the Guard, you'd darn well better support the Armoury or else the dinner table will get uncomfortably frosty. I watched a game with my brother out of sheer curiosity, and from then on I got a little hooked." It had been a short road from that experimental game to team-coloured face-paint and complete kits, both home and away.

Rainbow Dash chuckled. "There's a similar thing in Cloudsdale. The Flying Squad all support Cloud City, and the Weather Factory are for Cloud United."

Rarity raised another hoof. "But if there are two teams for Cloudsdale, how can one claim to be united?"

"Well they dress in black and they always win, so I assume the name's part of their pact with Nightmare Moon. Why else would their fans be called the Black Nights?"

"I see" lied Rarity. "Applejack, whose, ah, kit is that you're wearing?"

"Princess' Park Rangers. Even if we lose this game, second place in the HA will be the best we've done in years, so I won't be going away too disappointed." She'd try not to be, at any rate. She knew deep down inside that beating the Armoury was unrealistic at best, but if they could...

"You seem awfully cheerful for a fan of a team with what seems to be an undesirable track record."

"Ah, half the fun of bein' a fan comes from griping when your team goes wrong. Ain't that right, Twilight? How many new players have the Armoury signed this year?" Her tone indicated that she was already well aware of the answer to that question, and that it was an answer that she found very amusing indeed.

Twilight smiled so sourly that it may have been a grimace. "One young foreign midfielder, of course. Same as every year." She knew the Zebra was talented, and based on the few interviews she could find he seemed a nice enough colt. It was just a shame nopony had thought to buy, say, one of the defenders they so desperately needed.

"And Rainbow, darling, what team do you favour?"

"Of these two? Neither, I'm just here for the game. My boys got knocked out earlier on."

"And who are your boys?"

Rainbow gestured at Twilight. "I'd, uh, kind of prefer not to say."

"She supports Trottenham Hotspur", declared Applejack. If she was being perfectly honest (and she generally was), she would have to admit that bringing Rainbow's secret passion out into the open like that was very good fun.

That got Twilight's attention. She turned to Rainbow Dash with a hammed-up glare. "We are no longer friends, you gold-hoarding ass!" This seemed an odd statement indeed, coming from the pony who had so recently upbraided Rarity for her own anti-donkey bias. And the idea of donkeys as gold-pinching money grubbers was a stereotype so baseless and mean-spirited that Rarity herself had never subscribed to it, and indeed had looked down on ponies who did.

And, more to the point, Rainbow Dash quite clearly was not a donkey. For one thing, the tail was completely different.

Rainbow pointed a similarly overacted hoof at Twilight in a show of accusation so grand that it nearly tipped her off-balance. "I may be a burro, but you are the puppet of a filthy Prenchman!"

At this point Rarity decided to give up. Rainbow was a donkey, Twilight was a minion of Prance - time to stop trying to follow the sports fans and their sports things and just wait for the game itself to start. At least then she could pretend to understand the rules.