HiE - A Hollow in Equestria - Omake version

by Charlie_K

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 2986

A sidestory where the HiE crew explores aspects not covered in the main story and answer questions better left unasked. Randomness and sillyness ensues.

Covering what A Hollow in Equestria won't touch with a 13 kilometer long zanpakutō. Join Ulquiorra Cifer, the Mane Six, Spike, Luna, Celestia, Discord and many others as they discuss matters concerning the main storyline that don't make it into the main story and reveal things everypony wants to know in the process.

Special guest appearances by the Espada and Shinigami are likely.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-19 16:59:44 UTC

HiE Omake - What the *BLEEP* comes before zero?

HiE Omake - What the *BLEEP* comes before zero?

Hie Omake - What the *BLEEP* comes before zero?

"Arrancar Encyclopedia..." Twilight read as she looked between the unfamiliar text and the translation book she currently had wrapped in a magical aura, looking back and forth between the unfamiliar style of writing that just looked like a bunch of lines haphazardly assembled in random shapes with no discernible rhyme or reason.

The fact there was a 1x6 board nailed up across the foreign markings with "Pony's Edition" burnt into the wood didn't help matters either as it obscured nearly a third of everything.

"This has to do with books?" Rainbow Dash asked, "lame."

It was a most unusual wall that stood before them. It looked like somepony had taken a mural of a peaceful lake and overlaid the outer border with a border of roses before applying a Gaussian-type blur and light glares to it all, a blown up and larger than life close up of the right side of a carnivore skull's jawline placed on the right half and covering up the roses.

It went without saying that it was the craziest opening credits they'd ever seen before.

"It looks scary," Fluttershy mumbled.

"It doesn't really fit in with the motif of the show," Rarity commented before turning to Applejack, "did we even have skulls in any of the three seasons?" she asked.

"Ah don' know, ah wasn' payin' too much attention when we were filmin', there's way too much fer one pony ta take in-"

"That's what she said!" Pinkie cracked and snorted. Applejack just frowned and continued talking, ignoring the pink earth pony's crude humor that only she, Rainbow Dash and Spike seemed to be enjoying.

"Anyway ah heard since episode three sixty six aired "Bleach" was taken off the air an' they didn' need this stuff no more. So ah guess we got it now," she commented as she looked ahead at what was being set up.

Pretty much the entire room was teal green in color a lot like Lyra Heartstrings but a dingier shade. The lighting wasn't overly impressive and didn't help the decor. The floor was laid out in a grid like large pieces of tile with a thin white spacing between them. The wall in the middle had a really large flat-screen TV mounted on it while the right wall was barren of any kind of decorations, and the left wall a stark difference by being a dingy yellow and holding a large green chalkboard and a round clock directly above it.

All in all Applejack was left thinking that any show popular enough to hit nearly four hundred episodes would have a bigger budget for sets. Heck they could afford Canterlot on what their series got and they only had sixty five episodes and a movie out so far.

Then again their show didn't have nearly as many main characters so they didn't have to pay a ton of salaries so they had more to spend for other stuff.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go see what other shit we got stuck with," Rainbow Dash commented and hovered off the floor. This place was way too boring for her tastes.

"Rainbow Dash! The proper term is "crud" not...what you just said," Twilight objected.

"Loosen up, Twi', we're off the clock, remember? What can the censors do to us if we curse in our free time?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Anyway I'm gonna go look around. Maybe we got some of those zanpakutō with everything else that came in those boxes."

It was at that comment that Gin Ichimaru appeared in the middle of the room right in front of Rainbow Dash, wearing his Arrancar-themed garb, his zanpakutō tucked into the outer jacket of his garb...and his eyes still closed and the near-permanent grin still affixed to his face.

"No self respecting Shinigami or Arrancar would ever allow themselves to be separated from their zanpakutō, even if they no longer had an appearance to make on the show," he stated.

Rainbow Dash let out a startled yelp at the sudden appearance in front of her and fell back several paces before managing to get her nerves under control redeploy her cool outward appearance and act like nothing happened.

"Really not cool doing that, dude, that's a good way to get hurt," Rainbow Dash stated and folded her forelegs over her chest and huffed.

Gin's expression didn't change despite the cold shoulder approach the pegasus had given him. "Not exactly the most welcoming of hosts, are you?" he asked. "And don't you have a parade in San Francisco you have to go and be the mascot for?"

At the Shinigami's words Rainbow Dash growled, bearing her teeth and narrowing her eyes as she got right up in Gin's face, her wings flaring dramatically as she flapped them.

"I get so sick and tired of hearing shit like that all the damn time! Say that to my face one more time! I dare ya, say that one! More! Time!"

"Oh dear me. It seems I hit a nerve," Gin commented, completely unimpressed by the pegasi's hostility and her attempts at glaring him into submission. Unimpressed enough he actually reached out to stroke her wild and unkempt made "What with the name, the mane and so many pictures on the internet of you wearing rainbow colored socks I just figured there was some truth to it all. You certainly get along well with the girls."

Rainbow Dash growled harder and reached out to bite down on Gin's hand, her teeth making a loud clomping noise as they met each other rather than flesh as Twilight hastily pulled the hostile pegasus away with her magic to avoid any ugly incidents.

"That really wasn't called for, Gin," Twilight commented as she kept the struggling -and cursing- pegasus at a distance. "And what're you doing here anyway? You weren't slated for any guest appearances, not even in a flashback...at least none for the immediate chapters. Wait, did somepony change the script and we didn't get alerted again?"

"What with the series being cancelled because of poor ratings for the last story arc that killed off any chance I had of continuing my career. But once I heard about this delightful project under way I figured this was my big chance," Gin stated as he retrieved his extending handheld pointer from his right sleeve. "Besides this used to be my segment anyway. It's only fitting that I cover everything that goes on now."

There was a sudden booming echo of static as Ulquiorra appeared in the room several paces away from where Gin currently stood, his hands tucked in his pockets. His arrival was a stark contrast to Gin's near silent popping up.

"You're not currently eligible for a part in the series, Gin, contract disputes prevent anyone who isn't confirmed dead onscreen from crossing over," Ulquiorra stated evenly.

"Oh come on! I went up against Aizen in his evolved state, I'm as good as dead anyway," Gin pointed out as he waved his arms about furiously. "You're not exactly confirmed as dead either. There's a lot of evidence to suggest you're still alive in Hueco Mundo somewhere and you're here. Hell you're one of the main characters, I at least deserve some screen time!" he protested.

"My death scene was rated as the most emotional in the entire series. Even Orihime felt sad for my departure and I was the one who killed Ichigo Kurosaki right in front of her. There's no contracting issue that prevents me from being here. The same cannot be said for you," Ulquiorra pointed out in his usual monotonous tone.

To the others in the room it almost felt like Ulquiorra's monotonous tone was implying an unspoken "top that" taunt to the ex-Shinigami.

"Well you've got some nerve, betraying a comrade like that. First you steal my segment from me when my back is turned, and now you won't even share the excitement! We'll see about that!" Gin stated and withdrew his zanpakutō from his jacket and held it with the tip in Ulquiorra's direction. "Shoot to kill: Shinsō!"

"I wouldn't-" Ulquiorra began but was interrupted at the sword's blade impacted him hard in the side of the chest as it extended outward and crossed the distance between them in the blink of an eye.

Ulquiorra remained unmoved as a clinking noise sounded at the point of contact, Shinsō continuing to extend but with Gin being the one that was overcome and pushed out of the way, his pointer flying out of his hand and dropping to the ground in the process as he was driven far off the set and out of camera range with a resounding crash.

"-do that if I were you," he finished as the blade retracted. Had Gin simply listened to him instead of being so reactionary he could've told him that it would end badly.

"Good riddance to that jerk!" Rainbow Dash yelled before finally being let go by Twilight. "How many fillyfooler jokes am I gonna have to listen to because of my mane!?"

"I'd rather be the center of fillyfooler jokes than always getting compared to Discord all the time," Pinkie commented, "and if it's not Discord it's always jokes about being on crack, speed or that story "Cupcakes", blech!" she stated and stuck out her tongue in disgust. "I don't need this! I'm an actress who studied the fine arts of performance. I did Shakespeare back in high school for crying out loud!"

"Wow that guy really got around," Spike commented and snickered.

Twilight rolled her eyes at all the crude humor and sighed before magically levitated the forgotten and discarded extendable pointer up for Ulquiorra to take hold of.

"Perhaps now we can get back to business and begin taking the matter at hand seriously," he commented as he tapped the pointer against his open left palm.

END

HiE Omake - Zero

HiE Omake - Zero

The lights clicked on as Celestia stood in the middle of the room in front of the flat-screen on the wall, the pointer grasped in her golden magical aura.

"Today we'll be discussing chapter zero of "A Hollow in Equestria." I must say none of us expected this story to be such a big success. One hundred and seventeen reviews in the first week for the first chapter alone and we even made it to the featured box. I have to thank all my little ponies and our beloved bronies for such a groundswell and outpouring of love and support," she stated  and smiled.

Ulquiorra appeared next to her in a burst of sonido, his blank expression contrasting with Celestia's smile.

"One of the most common comments about the story so far is how similar everything is to Dirty Bit's story "Cuatro" simply by virtue of my involvement in each story. However the comparison couldn't be anymore wrong if it was attempted due to the stark differences in the subject matter and structure," he stated.

The screen behind them changed to display a side by side comparison of the cover art for each story, a big red VS between the two.

"Before we begin let's remember that Dirty Bit himself complimented on HiE due to its structure and even referenced us in the closing of his own story. Without such praise we might not have gotten where we are today," Celestia pointed out before levitating the pointer over to Ulquiorra so he could do his part.

"The story of "Cuatro" explores the concept of my being reborn in the land of Equestria with no conscious memory of who I was prior to my arrival there, reshaped in alicorn form. The story of "A Hollow in Equestria" deals with Discord himself fetching me from the void of death and bringing me to Equestria with my memories, Arrancar form, powers and abilities intact as well as my intellect and my overall nature unchanged...at least I believe so. I can't entirely be certain what the spirit of chaos might have done to me while the lights were off," Ulquiorra stated.

Celestia giggled at Ulquiorra's statement before taking a turn to speak. "Another key difference in the two stories is where they're set. "Cuatro" begins with Ulquiorra waking up in the Everfree Forest during a snowstorm and making his way to Sweet Apple Acres. "HiE" more or less begins in Canterlot when Discord brings Ulquiorra before me and I'm made aware of the entire situation from the very start, rather than being read into the discovery several chapters later on. Of the two settings I much prefer the second as I'm aware of everything immediately and have some measure of control over the situation."

"And we all know how much you enjoy exercising your control over others," Ulquiorra quipped in his usual monotonous tone before continuing the explanation. "Another key difference is the role Discord plays. In "Cuatro" there's absolutely no explanation regarding how I arrived in Equestria, why I was ponified or why I was suffering from amnesia. In this story Discord isn't even provided the opportunity to be a potential theory as he's still encased in stone at the time and the setting is winter, placing "Cuatro" firmly in the realm of season two. "A Hollow in Equestria" on the other hand directly involves Discord and explains that he's responsible for my presence in Equestria and how I can understand the written and spoken word of the main language. Furthermore our story is firmly set in the realm of season three as it takes place after "Keep Calm and Flutter On." What this means for me is that I will be spared the horrors of "Lesson Zero" as Twilight Sparkle suffers a nervous breakdown. There will be no "Cutie Pox" no "Ponyville Confidential" and thankfully no "Too Many Pinkie Pies" to contend with."

Celestia giggled again. "You would've probably wiped out Ponyville trying to dispatch all the clones. Pinky's a darling girl but with her moderation is a must," she stated before turning back forward again. "Another comment we seem to get a lot of deals with the discrepancy in power levels between Ulquiorra, myself and my sister Luna. Apparently some fans aren't happy that everypony's favorite Espada feels eclipsed in our presence and believes he should be ranked higher than he's being portrayed."

"An unfortunate side effect of a crossover story. To the best of my knowledge Tite Kubo and Lauren Faust have never discussed their main works with each other in any sort of manner to determine who is ranked in accordance to their power. In the realm of "Bleach" my strength is considerable. In "My Little Pony" I have less strength than the ones who juggle celestial bodies as easily as others breathe. It's little different from the displays of low level souls being overwhelmed in the presence of incredibly high levels of reiatsu," Ulquiorra elaborated. "Logically however it makes the most sense. If this story is to be successful and not devolve into an all out war I need to be portrayed with a handicap for the sake of advancement. If I started off as more powerful than Celestia and Luna together that would be the end of the story as they would simply fear me and have no trust for me. My presence might even prove fatal to the Mane Six. Surely none of you want to see that happening...or do you?"

"Speaking of such, Ulquiorra," Celestia interrupted, "how is it you're not overwhelmed by Discord's presence? The only force in the world capable of defeating him is the Elements of Harmony as it's been proven twice already. He can even cross the dimensional boundaries while I can't, so why were you unaffected?" she asked.

"During the final battle between Sosuke Aizen and Ichigo Kurosaki," he began as the screen changed again to show the mentioned scene from the manga, chapter 420 page 14,

"Aizen stated that the only way a lower being could sense his reiatsu was if he deliberately lowered it to the point where they could actually get a sense of it, meaning he was too strong to be sensed by those that were too weak. Theoretically the same applies in this case. Equally possible is that Discord, being what he is, is incapable of being sensed or interacted with unless he directly desires such. As we saw in his first appearance Discord inserted himself directly into a stained-glass window and swam about as easily as if it were water. It's safe to conclude that we aren't dealing with a logical being who is concerned with the laws of physics and reality."

Immediately the screen behind them went to static before switching over to a very angry looking Luna, her face uncomfortably close to the camera she was looking through.

"Ulquiorra Cifer! I demand retribution from you for forsaking Canterlot's royal muffins! You're going to eat these muffins, you're going to like these muffins, and you're going to like them more than anything!" Luna stated as she pulled back to present a large serving tray of muffins.

"Oh dear," Celestia sighed and facehooved at her sister's antics. This was how she made her debut? Talking about muffins? Seriously? And using a line parodied from "Lesson Zero" on top of it?

Ditzy Doo appeared next to Luna, looking annoyed as well despite her unfocused eyes. "Nopony says no to muffins, nopony!"

"Then I shall be the first," Ulquiorra replied as he withdrew a TV remote control from his left pocket and turned to face the screen.

"If you think you're getting out of this one that easily then you're quite fu-"

CLICK

"Quite prepared," Ulquiorra stated and placed the remote back in his pocket.

"And that concludes the first chapter of "HiE Omake." Say goodnight, Ulquiorra," Celestia replied.

"Goodnight Ulquiorra."

END