Spectrum's Truth.

by Ujack

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, Dark, Sad, Adventure
Length: 4210

Spectrum's Truth is a sad/serious story, written originally as a background to an OC pony, Spectrum.

I had originally written Spectrum's Truth to further understand her, as she was a character i had created, Spectrum also being the pony in my icon. This is meant to be a very sad and serious story, written by her in the present time, viewing the past. Spectrum's Truth was, again, originally written as a background for her, but after receiving many positive comments on it, and being encouraged to put it up here, i decided to do so. I hope you enjoy it to it's maximum meaning. This story is three chapters long.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-25 04:58:04 UTC

Spectrum's Truth. Chapter One.

Alright, before we begin, I’d like for you to know, I write this for me. Not for you. Throughout my life I’ve made countless mistakes, I’ve made constant choices, and I’ve made constant…corrections…I write this so I’ll never forget my past, which burdens me such. I know of many who have a sadder life than mine, but they were born into it. To them, suffering was life, and happiness was just a break from it. I had no way of preparing for the pain I received…I write this so I’ll always know what I’ve done, and to know what I’ll never do again…But I suppose you don’t care about that…Very well, I suppose I’ve wasted enough of your time…I suppose I’ll begin…

Spectrum’s Truth

I wasn’t like a lot of other fillies when I was young. I was born into wealth. Born into a family of patrons of the arts, supporters and creators alike, I was thought to be above the rest when I was born, before anybody could even know me, or my name. I had three sisters and two brothers, as my parents said, ‘More people means a higher success rate.’ …when I was a child, I thought nothing of this…It took a long time for me to understand that they thought of me, their daughter, as a mere pawn to use to their own advantage. Before I understood, I went along with it. Bing rich, it was a nice life, though it lacked emotion. I had what I could want, my siblings as well.  I went to the most exclusive art school in all of equestrian, but the colors all seemed grey to me…no matter who was there…or who talked to me…or whoever would guide my brush…I was utterly….alone…

Eventually I reached adolescence, and shed the shell of my childlike attitudes. I had a few friends who I could actually call such, as I knew almost everyone in the town. We would go to shows, go over to each other’s houses…except to mine of course…I didn’t want anybody there…my house was hell to me. It was bland, except for sections littered with red. It was full of nothing. And at the same time, It was full of hate. My siblings fought, but not the way one would expect. They fought as if they were competitors in a business, not like they were family at all. They even tried to ruin each other…They spread rumors, they destroyed each other’s works, and I was subject to this too….for a small time that is. Eventually, with lack of motivation, and reason to work, I halted my artistic exploits…No matter what colors I would use…the canvas remained grey in my eyes. My family now saw me, not as a child with a ruined life, but as somebody who no longer had the chance to replace them. I was truly…miserable…

Eventually, my activity died down so much, my parents refused to pay for my classes. The classes themselves were awful….all they did was cram lies down your throat…but I tried to object to my parents decision, nonetheless, as my classes were my only chance to escape the dark cloud, looming overhead, and be with friends. When I was with them….it was the only time I even had enough emotion and will left to shift my mouth into what I could somewhat consider a smile. I was able to keep them paying for my school bills for another month, but my work was failing, and after that month, not only did they stop paying any bills they already forced upon me, but they kicked me out as well…They just….threw me out….that was the day I finally realized how absolutely…worthless…useless…miserable I actually was…it was the day that my family left my life forever. They didn’t care for me, so why should I, them?

After being forced out of what I thought to be my home, I thought I would be able to stay with some friends of mine. I was right for the most part. I stayed with my closest of friend in my tight-knit group. Her name was Sapling, I believe her parents named her that for some sort of deep meaning I was never told, but I can’t be sure. I thought staying with them would be nice. I would be away from my ‘family’ and with friends. And she was the only child of her family too. If I grew up with a family that was easily able to support six children, I believed my time with Sapling would be some of the nicest in my life…I was more than wrong…She was poor. Beyond poor. She and her parents were living in absolute poverty. They had nearly nothing….and they still welcomed me with open arms…I couldn’t believe it…after my first week there, I worked up enough courage to ask her why she hadn’t asked for money from me or the others of our group. That’s when I learned that she wasn’t alone in being poor. Every time I came over to their houses, they fixed every crack and dent, only to be able to not afford to keep it that way, and have it fall apart again. I was the only one of our group who had the wealth it was believed everyone had. All of my friends…poor…struggling to send themselves to a good school…and they still welcomed me…a sad filly, who wasn’t even going to school anymore…I couldn’t….I couldn’t stand it…So…I left.

I was a burden to them, and they thought so too, though they were far too kind to say that to me. It was night. Around three weeks into my staying there. I simply opened the window in my room, and climbed out. I didn’t even leave a note for them…I didn’t even say goodbye…or thank you…if I could ever see them again…never mind. I didn’t grab any possessions, for I had none. I didn’t even take any food. They needed it more. I could live on the streets on my own…it was my fault this happened anyway…that’s what I thought at least. For a whole year, I roamed streets, stealing food from those who could afford it easily, and never even making eye contact with poor. After staying with Sapling, I couldn’t stand to look into anybody’s eyes….nobody’s…I looked at the ground whenever my eyes were open. For that year, I even forgot what color the sky was…but to me it was grey…everything….was grey…

Spectrum's Truth. Chapter Two

Spectrum’s Truth – Chapter Two

             During my time as….a….tramp…I gave what I would call ‘gifts’ to those who had no home, such as myself. I would take a small stone, and carve an image of the homeless colt or mare who leaned against the wall I drew on….I drew them in…in warm clothes…with a house…as if they had a home. I did anything to make them happy, though I still refused to look into their eyes, and I never stayed long. Every other day or so, I was traveling again. This routine became my life. I traveled. Drew. And traveled again. This constant cycle made my life even more colorless than it had been before, and now, I was suffering physically as well as mentally. I was tired, but I could never stop walking. I was a burden. I was nothing. I was…worthless...if I was to die on a street and rot, what would that do? Nobody would even notice. I wasn’t cared for…

During these travels, I started thinking, Was this really my fault? As I drew, and walked, my mind would return to this question, and I would simply remind myself, ‘yes’ and continue on. However, one day, after finishing a drawing for what I thought was a sleeping colt, I started to walk, but was stopped by a faint call,

‘wait…’

I turned around, still looking at the ground, seeing only his hooves as he slowly walked over to me. ‘Thank you, miss.’

Miss….the word rung in my head…As far as I knew, I was still a helpless filly, wandering about, with no purpose. I had never realized that I had grown…

‘What you’ve done here…for everybody…thank you…’

He was pouring out a thanks…I couldn’t stand it…I hated it…I didn’t deserve to be thanked…so I simply replied with,

‘No thanks necessary…’

‘Oh but it is, miss.’

Miss again…the word stuck out…

‘Please, look me in the eyes…’

As I said, I’d do anything to make people happy…my head slowly lifted…and I saw his face…his eyes…those eyes…those warm, comfortable, amazing eyes…I’ll never forget them…I stuttered,

‘I…I…Uh-I’m…’

He simply smiled to this, Handed me an orange, thanked me again, and returned to the spot he had slept…

I was going crazy…Just standing there…My eyes bulging…I was sweating, though it was a cold, autumn night…I was shaking…my knees buckled, and I just sat there…the whole night…My mind was wrapped in emotions I never knew existed. Thoughts and ideas swarmed my head…Those eyes of his…filled with gratitude…For me…for ME…That’s when reality sunk in. It wasn’t my fault…It wasn’t! I was born into my life! I had no choice in it! Why the hell should I actually accept taunts the rich gave when I passed by on the street as facts!? They weren’t true! For my whole life, I believed I was nothing, and I was worthless…but that’s the day my mind was opened…the world was still grey, however…I was enlightened, but my life hadn’t changed.

For another month, I continued my routine, but with my head held up, and with a new pride. This continued and continued, until that one day…I had seen a small filly…well…not that small. She was probably the same age as me, so I felt a special attachment to her the moment I saw her, sitting there, sleeping in the dark. I got to work. I picked up a stone and started drawing, glancing at her whenever I needed more details on her look. A few times, it almost looked like she glanced back, but I passed it off as being tired. When I finished, I glanced one last time to find an empty spot where she had been. Believe me, I was shocked! I thought she had vanished! Maybe she was kidnapped! Truth, I didn’t know what to think, until I heard a giggle, and a voice from behind me.

‘Hey there!’

I was…shocked to see her standing behind me, smiling so warmly.

‘Uhh…umm….h-hello…’

‘What’s the matter? You look nervous or something. You sick?’

‘I…I, uhh…I don’t know…’

This was true, as I had no idea what my health was at the time, but she smirked and replied with,

‘Well, thanks for the pretty picture, I look real good innit!’

‘…you’re….you’re welcome…’

‘Hey, why are you out here at night? It’s pretty cold!’

‘…………I’m…not sure, I guess….’

‘Oh, well, I was camping here, so, I have a blanket, but you should probably head home.’

So she had a house….she was just out here for fun…

‘…………’

‘What’s wrong? You’ve gotta house, right?’

She said that jokingly, but after my silence, her mood changed.

‘Wait…you…don’t have a house…do you?’

‘…………’

‘Umm…So, what’s your name?’

I never had a reason to remember my name for the past year, so I had practically forgotten it.

‘I…I think spectrum…’

Immediately after this, her look changed as if she were now thinking, very deeply. After a minute of silence, she spoke up with,

‘Do you wanna come over my house for a little bit?’

I was on the verge of tears….after evading this for so long, I was a burden to others again…she was already worrying for me…pitying for me…I couldn’t stand it…but I liked her…I couldn’t stand to see her face if I were to decline…

‘…….alright…’

She immediately perked up, and ran away, signaling for me to follow her, to which I slowly walked in her footsteps.

After five minutes of walking, we arrived at a mid-sized house, on the bottom of a fair sized hill. This girl ran ahead as soon as it was in sight, opened the door, and walked in. When I arrived at the house, I just stood there, on the porch. I didn’t want to go inside. I couldn’t go inside, but she had other plans, she simply opened the door again, and dragged me inside, to which I was pleasantly surprised. The house was so nice…and warm…I hadn’t been in a house since I left Sapling. But I didn’t deserve to be. The less for me the more for them. That had become my sole thought. Her parents were sitting in the living room, watching a television show, and hadn’t even noticed our presence until the girl screamed,

‘I’M HOOOOOOOOME!!!’

I didn’t see a reason for this volume, and was surprised to see her parents simply look over at us, as if it were a normal occurrence, and her mother said,

‘Welcome back Vinyl!’

So that was her name…

‘And who’s this lovely girl?’

She snaked her way over to her parent’s position, as if she thought herself a ninja, and said,

‘She’s my newest, bestest friend, Spectrum!’

They didn’t really argue to this, as they simply said hello and welcome to me, and said that they’d be there if we needed them. I was simply shocked to see the care they had, when saying such a simple thing…She took me up to her room, which I found littered with electronics and posters. It was a mess, but by this time in my life, I was used to messes.

‘So Spectrum….’

Her mood suddenly shifted.

‘When’s…..when was the last time you ate?’

‘…I think it was sometime this morning. I had an orange I…found.’

Her eyes searched me thoroughly, observing every last detail, and focusing on every last mark.

‘So, how long do you wanna stay here?’

I was shocked at this, it was as if she intended me to stay there forever.

‘I….tonight I suppose…I need to get going soon.’ I replied, hoping she’s accept that, but she didn’t.

‘Yeah right, where?’

‘…………’

‘Exactly. For now, you’re staying with me, kay?’

‘…………’

‘Good.’

I never would have guessed that this girl, Vinyl, Would grow to be such a large part of my life. I never would have guessed any of this, but life is strange, and it keeps moving, whether you like it or not. I didn’t want to stay there, but even then, I realized I was going to. Oh, Vinyl…what a sweet girl…

Spectrum's Truth. Chapter Three.

Spectrum's Truth. Chapter Three.

It was roughly two years into my stay with Vinyl. I really hadn’t planned on staying there. How I could I have? Still, it was the happiest time of my life. Vinyl and I became best friends, extremely close. We shared everything with each other. Talents, secrets, I even told her about my past. And she understood…I had learned a lot about her, too. She loved music. More than loved, in fact. She was practically a musical genius. She had written at least 20 songs within my first month there. Seeing her happy, after all she had done for me, it was amazing. Her parents understood my situation, though I had never told them. I had to assume that Vinyl had told them, or they had guessed from my look before staying there. Vinyl and I had even started referring to one another as ‘cousin’. She was more family to me than my real family was, after all.

I had started going to school again. It wasn’t an art school, like before. It was a normal school that taught everything, so you’d be prepared for anything. Needless to say, I didn’t do well the first few months, as I had never even heard of math, or sciences. Still, with Vinyl’s, her parents, and the teachers help, I caught up. I even started making friends again! There was really only one for the first year. She was very classy, and musically inclined, like Vinyl. And this…this is where things started to get ugly…

The friends’ name was…Octavia. After being friends with her for a few months, I introduced her to Vinyl. It was only proper that my friends should know each other, right? When I first became friends with Octavia, she was a humble person. She was kind, caring, and loved to help others. But that changed with time…She played classical music. And she played it on the streets. Her talent was practically wasted. ‘Famous’ was the word that sat in her mind, slowly corrupting her…she had been changing…Odds are I could have stopped it…if I had noticed. She dreamed of Canterlot. And I supported her. She dreamed of playing music with some of the top musicians in Equestria. I supported that. She was my friend, and she had a dream, something to look forward to. That’s all I thought it was. Even with her being changed like this, I was still happy. I was oblivious to her changing, after all. But after a little bit, Octavia and I started hanging out less. Why? She was always with Vinyl…And Vinyl was always with her…I was alone again…being reminded about my childhood…I hated it. I hated a lot of things, but every time I was alone, I would be on the verge of tearing up. I held it in though, with the thought of ‘If they’re happy, I should be, too.’ But eventually that was reworded….back into ‘The less for me, the more for them.’

I felt abandoned…by my own family, no less. I was slowly reverting back to my old self…my grades were slipping…me and Vinyl started fighting whenever we WERE with each other. At first, we both said it was due to ‘artistic differences,’ but we both knew, somewhere in our minds, it was because we were harboring a small bit of….resentment…toward each other. But why shouldn’t I? Octavia was my friend first! It wasn’t fair that they both leave me behind, in the dirt! Eventually, our fighting became extreme. I hated her. I hated fighting with her. I loved her. I loved fighting with her. I had no idea what I was supposed to do…No pony would make anything clear…my future was shrouded again, and I had no idea what I was even alive for…then it hit me…all I was doing….was fighting…I was a true, absolute burden. I gave no pony happiness, only hate. I hated myself now…It was Sapling all over again. I was leeching their life away to fuel my own, a worthless one, no less.

After a long time of just putting up with this, I went to a park in the area, sat up in a tree, and just thought…I thought about…well…everything…I had to make a decision. A big one. And I did…I was going to have to leave…I couldn’t stay there….I was a bother to them, and they knew it too…And I couldn’t stand to see them angry….I love them, and I always will…but I wasn’t going to make the same mistake…they gave me a home, and I was going to thank them…

When I returned to the house, I was greeted with anger…it was expected….it was normal…

‘Spectrum!’ Vinyl screamed…

‘Where the hell have you been? You have no clue how worried I was!’

She said it so angrily….I guess that’s rough love…

‘………..’

‘What? Nothing to say!? Come on, where have you been hiding?’

‘………..’

I think my silence, my half closed eyes, my head hanging low…I think this was the first time she saw me as the person she had found in the street….her tone changed…into a look of sadness and pity, mixed with her rage…

‘….what? What….what’s wrong….? Why are you crying?’

I was crying. I didn’t even realize until she said that. I just slowly walked over to the staircase, went into my room, and started writing. I had locked the door, and was silent. Both Vinyl and her parents tried to talk to me, but they all gave up after around fifteen minutes of sitting outside of the door, trying to talk …I was writing notes. I had written around twenty when I was done, each one for some pony specific. After my thinking session, I had realized what had happened to everybody. My notes to Octavia and Vinyl were the longest, but I had written notes for other friends, teachers, and others I knew. My note to Octavia….it was more of a warning…I had written about how she had changed, in hopes I could change her back, but it was too late, and I knew it. I had finished her note with the line, ‘You’ll regret every decision…’ Such a simple line was powerful…it was astounding…My note to Vinyl took about three whole pages. She deserved a good life, and I was taking away from her chances of such…And now she pitied me again. I hated it. I hated me. The world’s color was drifting away…slowly draining itself while I was writing my farewells and thanks. When I had finished everything, it was night. Far into the night. Vinyl and her parents were asleep. I walked over to the door, unlocked it, and arranged everything on my bed for them to find. I encased the notes in envelopes, with a name written on each one.

          After I arranged it all, I opened my window, and jumped out. It was a hard fall, but I could take it. After I got up from my landing I simply walked away. The notes were theirs to find. I had stuff with me this time. I had several canvas, brushes, paints, pencils, and a little bit of food. This time I wasn’t going on the streets, stealing. I was grown now. I could take care of myself. I had decided I could live as a traveling artist, stopping by a town, selling a few paintings, and then going to a new town. I was miserable again, but not as much as before. I had done something good by leaving them. They deserved better than me…

After another year or two…I lost track of it really…I had stumbled into a new town. I was doing decent. I had stopped by hundreds of towns, cities, and villages alike. I was….thriving…I was alive at least…I had made countless friends in my travels, but I always ended up leaving them behind. Painting was difficult for me now. I wasn’t even aware of what I was painting. All I knew was that people liked it. I didn’t know why. Every color was grey, and blank. The canvas stayed the same no matter what would do to it. This town had something different about it, however. Something that separated it from all the rest. It was evening. I was sitting on top of a hill, trying to finish a painting, when a fairly young colt wandered over to me.

‘That’s a very nice painting!’

I had jumped at his voice, I hadn’t even noticed him. Taking everything in, I saw that he had a blue coat with a brown mane. He was very handsome, but I didn’t think much of him. We talked for a while, about art, and about many other things. Talking to him was a nice break, but I needed to get back to painting before the sun went down.

‘It’s been nice talking…umm…’

‘Alias.’

‘Alias…but I have to get back to painting. My name’s Spectrum, by the way.’

I didn’t know why I told him my name. I didn’t want to get too close. It would only make leaving more difficult for everyone.

‘Well, Spectrum, I’ll see you later then.’

‘…………’

I’ll see you later…this is exactly what I didn’t want. I was planning on leaving the next week, but something was on my mind, that I couldn’t shake. Every night I told myself, ‘I need to leave’ but I never would. My mind was wrapped around Alias. After staying three weeks passed when I was meant to leave, I decided to visit Alias. I needed to get him off my mind, and I thought talking with him would be a good way to get over it. The moment he opened his door, however, I panicked. I needed to think of something. I ended up remembering a type of flower in Everfree forest that was meant to be beautiful. I used this, and told him I needed an escort to get there to paint it. Events happened, and in the end, he was practically a hero. I’ll spare you the details from me, he wrote about our adventure himself. In the end he was on my mind even more so than before. I had made a decision, since no matter how hard I tried to leave, I couldn’t, I would stay. This was my new home….Ponyville….

That’s where I’m currently living. Alias introduced me to even more friends. Blacklite, Gemini, Coleus, slowly but surely, color returned to me. My life was picking up again, and this time, I saw no shadow of parting with my newfound happiness. This is my life. And I’m happy to say so…Though…My past will always haunt me…I know my place now. And I’ll continue living. And I’ll never forget…