Chapters Half-Arrogant, Half-Crazy, All Trixie Lulamoon
Twice the Trixie at Half the Cost
It was relatively quiet night for Ponyville.
There were no monsters from the Everfree rampaging about. There were no minions of Corona plotting and scheming. There wasn’t even any of the normal crazy activities that filled the little town going on today.
The past few days had been blissfully quiet in Ponyville, and it was this that led to the first sign of the apocalypse.
A certain azure unicorn, in her boredom, had turned to reading her books on magic.
Most might not think anything of it. Trixie was the princess’ student after all, but there were a select few in town who knew just how desperate she was to relieve her boredom if she was researching from textbooks. Her friends were understanding though, even despite the fact that she had screwed up a number of spells when casting from textbooks before. They had, in fact, been planning something for tomorrow to cheer her up.
But Trixie was bored now, and she had just found the perfect spell to alleviate that.
A faint blue glow escaped her residence, and the air hummed quietly, almost imperceptibly breaking the night’s peaceful silence, as Trixie began drawing in magic to cast a spell.
“I can’t believe I found it!” Trixie giggled. “All those years of asking Luna to teach me her duplication spell, and I find it in one of Sparkle’s old books!”
The book in question was lying open on the magician’s desk with a smaller book next to it filled with Twilight Sparkle’s personal notes on the content. It had taken Trixie an entire day to actually figure out what the spell was for, and then it had been another six hours of looking over Twilight’s notes to see if there was some sort of shortcut to cut down on the amount of magical energy needed to cast the spell.
The scholar’s notes were ridiculously over complex though, and so, while Trixie had found a shortcut, she wasn’t exactly sure what she was changing in the spell. The magician could just ask Twilight of course, but she was still rather hesitant to ask Twilight anything that might just lead to another round of the scholar claiming she shouldn’t be the Element of Magic. There was no need to go poking that Ursa Minor in the back now that she had the scholar’s approval, tenuous though it may be.
She also didn’t really want to let Twilight know she’d been hanging on to her books for a while, and that she had conveniently “forgot” to return them.
Straining herself a tiny bit to gain the last little bit of power she needed, Trixie ignored the little wriggling doubts in the back of her head and cast the spell.
As the magic left her body, her doubts flowed away. She giggled at the sheer joy of casting magic. There was nothing to worry about after all. She was Trixie Lulamoon and she could do anything.
Five minutes of pure bliss later Trixie opened her eyes.
“Bonjour, mon amie! ” Trixie laughed before she noticed something.
There was no other pony there.
“Don’t be shy, mon amie! I know you’re there!” Trixie puffed out her chest and tossed back her mane. “We were the one to cast the spell after all.”
Silence answered Trixie.
“Mon amie? ” Trixie asked, tilting her head to the side. Her forehead wrinkled almost imperceptibly. “Did the spell not work?” She shook her head vigorously. “Well if it didn’t work it certainly wasn’t moi that messed it up. Non. Non. Non! Maybe the book was wrong, or maybe Sparkle isn’t as good a spell caster as she thinks. Maybe I should-”
A loud rumbling noise filled the room as Trixie realized she hadn’t eaten dinner in her attempts to sort through Twilight’s aggravating notes.
“Maybe I should get some dinner.” Trixie chuckled before frowning. “But where should I go? Berry’s is open late, but I’m in the mood for something more exciting. And, if I know anything right now, Ponyville is currently the last place to find excitement.”
She shook her head and headed towards the door. “Ah well, I guess me and Monseir Bourbon will have to change that. It’s high time I cut loose for a bit and we get some excitement back in this town.”
The door was closed and locked, and Trixie went on her merry way. At least, half of her did. The other half of her was currently curled in an invisible ball in the corner wondering what the hay went wrong.
…..
My little pony, My little pony
Ahh ahh ahh ahhh...
My little pony
Friendship never meant that much to me
My little pony
But you're all here and now I can see
Stormy weather; Lots to share
A musical bond; With love and care
Teaching laughter; It's an easy feat,
And magic makes it all complete!
You have my little ponies
How'd I ever make so many true friends?
…..
All the little wriggling doubts Trixie had felt before casting the spell were now screaming that she’d made a huge mistake. She’d tried to talk to her duplicate, but she just couldn’t figure out what to say. She’d had doubts saying something had gone wrong. She’d had doubts saying she shouldn’t talk to the Trixie across from her. She’d even had doubts telling her to doubt her doubts. It was incredibly overwhelming. So, instead of telling her counterpart she was there, she’d simply kept weaving her veil around herself tighter and tighter like a blanket.
Trixie thought about getting up and going to get her friends. She wanted to tell them that something had gone wrong, but it was late.
It was late, and they might be asleep, and they were probably really busy with whatever they were planning for tomorrow. Besides, there was no guarantee that anything was wrong. Her other duplicate wouldn’t do anything that bad, right? Nope, it was far better to wait until morning when she hopefully wouldn’t be imposing on her friends. Trixie couldn’t possibly interrupt them now. Nope. She would simply wait for morning.
She started to head for bed until she realized that it would be presumptuous of her to take the bed without offering it to her counterpart.
And so she waited, invisibly, in the corner for her counterpart to return.
It was only when the sun’s rays peeked through the window that the unicorn realized her counterpart was not coming back.
…..
Carrot Top woke to the sun’s rays deciding to poke her in the eyes. She really wanted to go back to bed after staying up late to help fix up Trixie’s surprise, but she had work to do like always.
Five more minutes wouldn’t hurt anypony though, and so she buried her head underneath her pillow for just a couple minutes more of relaxing.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Carrot’s ears flicked as they barely caught a faint tapping noise coming from her front door. She buried her head farther in her pillow.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
There was only one pegasus who knocked that quietly, and, while Carrot Top was normally more than happy to help, she was just the tiniest bit tired right now. Besides, Fluttershy would leave after a while. She was too timid not to.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Carrot Top groaned before relenting and swinging herself out of bed. Her room was a bit of a mess, but she’d find the time to clean it up eventually. It would just come after the Farmer’s Union got the fresh shed supplies. And it would come after her meeting with the mayor. And it would come after Trixie’s surprise. And it would definitely come after whatever else somepony might ask Carrot Top to do that day. But it would happen eventually. She hoped.
The tapping continued as Carrot Top went down the hall towards the door. Some ponies would find her house a bit on the small and simple side, but Carrot Top liked it that way. She didn’t need much for herself, and so what her house did actually hold was rather important to her. There were some family pictures lining the wall of the entry hall, and the kitchen had various secondhand pots and pans that came right from her parents old house when they found out she’d learned to cook. Her favorite item though was the couch in the living room. It was a little old, and it was getting well beyond the age most ponies would buy a new couch.
But it was her couch, patches and all.
She’d had this couch since she was a filly. It had seen everything from her homework, to her friends, to her first crush, and it had even seen The Talk. That couch had been through a good portion of her life, and it would be almost criminal to throw it away.
It was almost as good as a shoulder to cry on.
That was why, when Carrot Top opened the door and saw a ragged looking Trixie on the other side, her first thought was, “I knew I should have gotten to cleaning the couch sooner.”
…..
Trixie drew back slightly as Carrot Top opened the door. On the way over, she’d been thinking over some of the various ways to explain to her friends that she may or may not have messed up Luna’s duplication spell. Unfortunately, she had doubts that her friends would take the news well that there were currently two Trixie’s running around and that they may or may not be a danger to the town. Of course, she couldn’t say for sure there was a danger. Nope. That would be presumptuous, and Trixie wouldn’t want to mess up an assumption as big as that. It was definitely better to simply wait for her friends to tell her what they thought.
It took a second for Trixie to notice Carrot Top had started talking.
“Trixie? Earth to Trixie? Are you alright?” Carrot Top tilted her head and her brow furrowed. “Did something happen last night?”
Trixie opened and closed her mouth a few times trying to find the ability to speak. As she did, her body took the tiniest of steps towards curling into a ball again.
Carrot Top’s brow furrowed more as she noticed this, and she moved out to put a hoof on Trixie’s shoulder. “Come on, Trixie. You know if you have something to say you can tell me.”
Trixie took a couple of deep breaths before finally speaking. “I may or may not have messed up a new spell...” She flinched for a second, expecting backlash for what was obviously a horrible mistake, but Carrot Top just shook her head and motioned Trixie inside.
“Come on inside and have a seat on the couch. I have a feeling we’re going to need it.”
…..
Carrot Top set Trixie on the couch and headed into the kitchen. Setting an old tea kettle on the stove, she began heating the water to a boil before grabbing a couple herbs from the cupboard.
She wasn’t sure what happened yet, but Carrot Top could see that Trixie was a mess.
The magician’s mane was a tangled mess, and her eyes were rimmed with black semicircles from stress and fatigue. Worst though was her posture. She was flinching at everyday sounds, and she was so tense that it looked like she was about to snap like a coiled spring.
Even when Carrot Top had been trying to comfort her, the mare had felt Trixie withdrawing from her touch only to come back to it instantaneously like she desperately needed it.
It was strange, to say the least, and it was definitely not a very Trixie thing to do, but Carrot Top was willing to wait to get the story from Trixie herself.
First things first, however, Trixie needed to calm down or she would never give a straight answer.
Hence the possibly prescription strength tea Carrot Top was making.
She didn’t really want to drug her friend, but, if the loud crinkly paper bag sounds and hyperventilating coming from the living room were any indication, Trixie really needed some help calming down..
Taking the tea into the living room, she set down a tray holding two cups and a tea pot before handing one of the cups to Trixie.
“Drink,” she commanded in a tone that didn’t allow for disobedience.
Trixie grabbed the cup and drank from it like her life depended on it. After finishing it, she poured a second cup herself and downed it for good measure, just in case Carrot Top wanted her to have more. She moved to pour a third, but Carrot Top held out a hoof to stop her.
“Feel any better?” Carrot Top asked.
“What do you mean?” Trixie asked slowly setting the cup down. Her body finally relaxing for the first time she arrived. Almost imperceptibly, the tautness in her muscles began to release.
Carrot Top furrowed her brow. “Well you were kind of a complete mess when you showed up. If I hadn’t known any better I might have said you were just Fluttershy painted blue.”
“I suppose I was a bit of a mess...” said Trixie quietly. “I found Luna’s duplication spell in one of my books, and was trying to cast it.”
“Did it work?” Carrot Top asked.
“Kind of... Sort of... Maybe...” Trixie mumbled, almost imperceptibly. “When I was done casting it though, I was the quivering mess you found on your doorstep. I was so scared of what might happen that I turned invisible before my counterpart even saw me...”
Carrot Top nodded in all the right places as Trixie went on, and she smiled whenever she thought it appropriate. It was odd to be using all the little tricks she’d learned to keep Fluttershy calm on Trixie. Even though the magician was calmer than before, she kept hesitating before she spoke.
It wasn’t exactly shyness though.
Trixie was drawing out every syllable slowly and carefully, like she was afraid of making a mistake in her speech. Rather than looking downward submissively like Fluttershy, she was looking upwards, like she was lost in thought.
“I take it that’s not normal, but do you have any idea what’s wrong?” Carrot Top coaxed Trixie to continue.
“I don’t think so...” Trixie sighed, “I’ve been running over possibilities all night, but every time I think I might be onto something I realize that there still might be something I’m missing. Ever since I cast that spell, my head’s been so full of miscellaneous thoughts and doubts that I can’t really think straight.”
“Maybe that’s the problem,” Carrot Top said.
“Huh?” Trixie replied.
“I mean maybe that spell magnified your doubts and fears, or maybe you accidentally got the duplicate’s fears, or-” Carrot Top motioned through the air, trying to express the annoyingly abstract ideas magic was so often associated with.
“Or maybe that spell split me in more ways than just the physical?” Trixie finished.
“Exactly!” Carrot Top nodded.
“But, if I was left with all of Trixie’s doubts and reservations, what part of Trixie did the other half get?” Trixie tilted her head.
A loud banging on the front door interrupted their conversation. Carrot Top rose to answer it, but a somewhat slurred and rather hoarse voice rang decided it couldn’t wait for the door to open.
“Carrot Top! Can you get me some of your hangover cure before last night’s shenanigahns completely wear off? I need to work today, and I can’t do that if I’m stuck recovering from last night.”
It was barely recognizable, but Berry Punch’s voice was coming through the door.
“Can you hold on for just a second?” Carrot Top asked Trixie.
“I suppose...” Trixie sighed.
A couple minutes, and one hangover cure later, Berry Punch was standing at least somewhat straight again at Carrot Top’s door thanking her.
“I don’t know what I’d do without that little cure of yours,” said Berry, smiling weakly as she tried to finish the last little specks of the cure for maximum effect.
Carrot Top just smiled. “It’s no problem at all! If you don’t mind though, there’s a little bit of an issue I need to take care of inside now.”
Carrot Top closed the door as Berry began walking away, but she did manage to hear Berry’s last farewell through the door.
“Thanks again for the cure, Carrot! You might want to stock up on some more though! You’ll probably be seeing a lot more customers today. Lulamoon was right about Neigh Orleans! They really know how to throw a party!”
Trixie poked her head out of the living room, an odd expression on her face.
“Lulamoon?” the magician asked.
“Neigh Orleans?” came Carrot Top's clever reply.
Half-Arrogant, Half-Crazy, All Trixie Lulamoon
“Lulamoon?” Trixie asked again, her face slowly scrunching up in more and more confusion. “But I didn’t drink anything last night...
“Unless she means my counterpart...”
Trixie took a deep breath and looked towards Carrot Top.
“You don’t think my other half got drunk last night and went on a rampage, do you?’ she asked hopefully.
Carrot Top opened her mouth to answer, but Trixie didn’t wait for an answer.
“No. No. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t.”
Trixie’s hind leg gave the slightest twitch.
“She wouldn’t go on a drunken crusade to Neigh Orleans and ruin the small amount of reputation I’ve gained...”
A small shudder ran down Trixie’s spine.
“Or ruin the couple of friendships I managed to keep before leaving to become the princess’ student...”
Trixie’s muscles tensed.
“Or embarass me in front of my entire fami-” Trixie began, before she suddenly snapped and bolted towards the door. “Oh, who am I kidding!? I’ve got to stop her!” She made it to about where Carrot Top was, the earth pony getting ready to reach out and stop her, before suddenly reversing direction back towards the living room.
“No, wait! I should hide and wait it all out!” Trixie yelled, as Carrot Top grabbed the air where she had initially been charging to. The earth pony fell flat on her face, having expected Trixie to actually be there instead of turning around.
“Trixie?” Carrot Top groaned, picking herself off the floor.
“But, if I just sit and wait, she’ll do more damage!” Trixie yelled, bursting back into the hall towards the door ignoring Carrot Top.
Once again, she reached the door, and, once again, Carrot Top was ready to try and stop Trixie, and, once again, Trixie turned around at the last second to let Carrot Top smack into the floor. This time she yelled something about not being powerful enough to stop herself.
This went on for about five more cycles, with Trixie’s excuses for both going to Neigh Orleans and hiding under Carrot Top’s couch getting more and more bizarre with each passing.
Carrot Top was finally able to get ahold of Trixie though, and she very carefully turned the panicking mare to look at her. “Trixie,” she said, very calmly, and very evenly. “Trixie, you need to calm down and collect yourself. There is no reason for you to think any of what you just said is going to happen. You don’t even really know what your other half is like. Have you talked to her?”
“No, but I’ve heard her,” whispered Trixie.
“Have you actually talked to her though?” Carrot Top asked, sternly.
“No, but-”
“No buts.” Carrot Top shook her head, “Until we actually meet her, I don’t want you worrying about what she’s like.”
Carrot Top carefully led Trixie back to the living room, and poured her another cup of tea. “Now then,” she said when Trixie had started sipping, “Why don’t we go see if Twilight has any ideas on what this is and how to fix it?”
Trixie’s ear flicked. “S-Sparkle?” She chuckled nervously. “Why would we need to go and see her? You already told me what the problem was.”
Carrot Top sighed. “Trixie, do I look like the type of mare who knows the first thing about magic? I was just tossing out suggestions to calm you down and help you figure things out. We need a second opinion to make sure we aren’t just jumping to conclusions.”
“B-but Twilight doesn’t know how many of her books I’ve kept since the whole Ursa Minor incident…” Trixie stuttered.
“Well, I suppose that just means you’ll have to tell her,” said Carrot Top, shrugging.
“But-” Trixie started.
“Didn’t I just say no more buts Trixie?” Carrot Top smiled and put her foreleg around her friend, nudging her friend toward the door. “Trust me. Twilight will be perfectly understanding, and you’ll probably like her better than our other choice for getting a professional opinion given how nervous you are right now.”
“Who’s our other choice?” Trixie asked, hesitantly moving forward.
“Princess Luna, of course,” replied Carrot Top as she strengthened her hold on Trixie in case she decided to feint..
“P-princess Luna?!” Just as Carrot expected, Trixie nearly tripped at the thought of explaining her predicament to the Princess. While she hadn’t necessarily explicitly kept any of the forbidden books Twilight had “borrowed”, the scholar’s notes more than made up for them, and, in some cases, the notes were even more detailed than any of the original books. Of course, Trixie hadn’t realized this until she decided to try a simple fire evocation spell and ended up burning her window down with black flames of pure hatred, so she was understandably nervous of telling the Princess about this oversight. She had thought it might just be that one notebook, and thus simply moved on to the next one.
Nope. She ended up summoning something with far too many tentacles for comfort about four spells into the next book.
Apparently, all the forbidden spells were mixed in with all the perfectly legal spells, and she already got enough of a headache trying to even partially understand Twilight’s notes without even worrying about which spells were legal or not. As a rule of thumb, the magician simply stayed away from any spells that used rather questionable words like eldritch abomination.
“No…” Trixie sighed after a couple of seconds of thinking. “You’re right. Twilight is a much better first choice.” She sighed. “I just need to stay calm, and everything will be all right.” She trudged slowly towards the door, a forced smile on her face.
“Besides, w-what could go wrong?”
…..
The first few minutes of their trek into town were fairly uneventful. Trixie was slowly calming down, and was even talking with a bit of her usual snark. They bantered lightly back and forth about any manner of small things, all in an effort to help distract them from their odd situation. Slowly but surely, however, Trixie began to fidget. The closer they got to the library, the more oddly she acted. Her voice cracked a few times, and there was several strands of her mane that kept springing up giving her a haunted look.
Carrot Top tried to keep the conversation going, but it was no use. Trixie was slowly but surely starting to panic again. The farmer was perplexed to say the least. Trixie was not one to panic over every little thing. Something had gone horribly wrong with that spell, and she had no idea how to fix it. Trixie wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do the fixing, so that left either Twilight or the Princess. She hoped they could help fix this quickly.
“Carrot Top!” a bubbly voice called out. “Hey, Carrot Top!” Ditzy Doo trotted up to the pair of ponies. “Do you have any idea what happened last night while we were getting the-” She paused for a second, glancing at Trixie. “-the you know what ready? Everypony on my route so far seems to be nursing a massive hangover.” The mail mare shook her head and pointed to Trixie. “Most of them can’t remember anything from last night except for a certain azure mare calling herself Lulamoon trying to get them to all go to Neigh Orleans to party.”
Carrot Top shook her head. “So that really happened? I couldn’t tell if what Berry told me was just the hangover talking. If everypony else remembers going to Neigh Orleans as well though…”
“How could they even make it down to Neigh Orleans, much less back, in one night?” Trixie interrupted before shrinking back slightly as her friends attention shifted to her. “I-I mean I could be wrong, but I know how long the train ride between Canterlot and Neigh Orleans is. It takes at least a couple of days, and Ponyville is only a couple hours from Canterlot.”
“It’s because you somehow convinced me, despite my supposed house arrest, to teleport about twelve of us there, Lulamoon,”grumbled an extremely grouchy voice behind Trixie. The showmare turned to see a very aggravated lavender unicorn rubbing her temples with her hoof and levitating a rather large gravy boat beside her.
“Sparkle!” cried Trixie, jumping about five feet in the air.
Twilight Sparkle, for her part, cringed at the noise. Taking a long swig of incredibly viscous gravy from the gravy boat, she growled, “Do you mind? Teleporting a dozen ponies or so really takes a lot out of me. I wasn’t even able to get us all the way back, and this hangover cure you gave me has yet to get rid of the half of my migraine that isn’t from using that much magic.” She huffed, only to cringe again at the sound of her own aggravation. “Of course, I even doubt you remember anything from last night given how much partying you did. Lucky you... My eidetic memory of last night is going to leave me scarred with shame for years. I still don’t get how you got me to drink in the first place, and don’t get me started on the incident with the fish.” Twilight shuddered for a second. “It’s like somepony turns up your persuasiveness to 11 when you’re drunk. You were like a whole new pony.”
Trixie’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks for a second and she let out a nervous titter. “F-funny you should mention that, Sparkle. There’s kind of something I need to-”
“Wait a minute.” Twilight interrupted, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “How the hay are you here? You told me you were going to stick around Neigh Orleans a bit longer instead of heading right back to Ponyville.”
Ditzy watched on slightly puzzled as to what exactly was going on. Trixie backpedaled, trying to use the shrink spell she never actually finished learning. Twilight, for her part, stalked forward with the curiosity of the tiger that killed the cat that was curious.
“Even if you had found another high level unicorn to teleport you back,” Twilight stated slowly, “I doubt anypony but me could teleport farther than Hoofington, and we all just got off the earliest train from Hoofington to Ponyville.
“So how are you here?”
Just as Trixie was about to bolt she backed into something. Looking up, she saw Carrot Top smiling and handing her a thermos. She smiled shakily back, and taking a long drought from the piping hot tea inside she turned back to Twilight.
“T-that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I may have accidentally messed up a spell.”
“Again?” asked Ditzy, blinking. “Is this like when you turned Lyra into the bear thing?”
“Bear thing?” asked Twilight, arching an eyebrow.
Trixie tittered nervously again. “Actually, it’s a bit worse than that. I may have accidentally messed up Luna’s duplication spell.
“What would you say if I told you there were currently two of me running around Equestria?”
Daisy screamed from across the market. “The horror. The horror.”
Her two companions followed.
“How will we hide the bourbon?”
“How will we survive the fireworks?”
One of Ditzy’s wandering eyes sank like a ship at sea, the iris resting in the curve at the bottom of the eye like a deflated balloon. Trixie even swore she heard a small popping sound complete with the whine of air being released to accompany it.
Twilight just stood there for a second eyes narrowing. Suddenly, one of them twitched and the gravy boat was crushed by overly enthusiastic telekinesis. The gravy splatter was not pretty.
“Care to elaborate?”
Her tone didn’t suggest she cared if Trixie actually didn’t care to elaborate.
…..
“Hey, Ditzy,” Carrot Top whispered as they approached the library. “Do you think you can get a letter sent express to the princess on what’s happening after your current route?”
Ditzy frowned. She was already pushing it, given she was already deviating from her route, and she had a second route to run today to cover for a sick coworker. She looked at Trixie who was actually shuffling forward instead of using her normal if somewhat arrogant strut. Whatever had happened to Trixie was big. It’d be worth skipping lunch to make sure she got a letter on the fastest route possible to Canterlot.
“Yeah, I’ll do it,” the mailmare whispered back as the library came in sight. “Do you already have the letter on you?”
Carrot Top shook her head. “Sorry, I haven’t had a chance to do much of anything today. I’ve had to keep Trixie in check… She’s not exactly in a good state of mind right now. She was downright terrified about what Twilight would do on hearing about the books she apparently kept, and you don’t even want to know the look that shot across her face when I mentioned the Princess.”
Ditzy rolled one of her eyes. “How do you expect me to send a letter that isn’t written?”
Carrot Top gave what sounded suspiciously like a sigh of relief. “I’ll be able to write it at Twilight’s while she’s the one dealing with this part of Trixie.” The farmer looked wistfully at Trixie. “I just hope it’s possible to fix this. Its sort of funny how much I’m missing Trixie’s bravado now that it’s gone.” She shook her head to dispel her doubts. “Anyway, come to my place to pick it up later. If we’re not there…” She hesitated for a second. “If we’re not there, we might have gone after this other part of Trixie. I might not know unicorn magic pretty well, but I have a hunch this could be serious. If we end up going who knows where, I’m going to leave the letter with Twilight. Okay?”
“Okay,” Ditzy whispered back. The pegasus furrowed her brow for a second, but forced a grin as they reached the library’s entrance. “Okay, guys! Sorry, but I have to get back to my route. Have fun doing whatever you’re doing, and get better,Trixie!” With that, she shot into the air, probably in a desperate attempt to get back to her route on time.
Carrot waved goodbye and turned to enter the library with the others.
“Oh hey, Raindrops! Where are you off to in a hurry?” Carrot was just able to make out Ditzy’s voice on the threshold of her hearing. She had about a second to process why Raindrops would be hurrying and came to the conclusion that she was probably frustrated again for one reason or another. It took her another second to realize that a sizeable portion of Ponyville had gotten drunk last night,and that some of the more rambunctious weather ponies would certainly have gone with Trixie to Neigh Orleans. The weather schedule, which began at six in the morning, was probably now several hours behind.
“Horseapples,” spat Carrot Top as a small jasmine boulder slammed through the open library doors.
“Trixie! Why the hay did you leave with me with a tired, hungover, and late team of weather ponies on the day of the biggest scheduled storm this month!?”
Carrot Top sighed as she headed inside.
She just knew this wasn’t going to be pretty.
Half-Arrogant, Half-Crazy, All Trixie Lulamoon
Prepare for Trouble and Make It Double
Raindrops was not in a good mood at the moment. Granted, it was rare for ponies to see past her normally dour exterior even when she was in a good mood, but there was a difference between appearing angry and being angry for Raindrops. If ponies were able to tell the difference, it was probably because they were either a friend, or they had crossed a line to see it for themselves.
There is something very wrong with the pony that fails to learn not to earn her ire again.
Right now, Trixie was warranting anger about halfway between mildly annoyed and blind fury. She had been on the receiving end of Raindrops blind fury at least once, and it had once terrified her into thinking that her friend could snap at any moment. In the end, it had taken her awhile to learn how much more there was to the jasmine pegasus.
That being said, it should have been easy for her friends to tell she was more frustrated than anything. Thus it was with great surprise she found Trixie backpedal into a corner on her entrance.
There was none of the bravado and cunning Raindrops normally saw in Trixie, and that stopped the pegasus clear in her tracks. She’d been so sure that Trixie wasn’t afraid of her anymore, but sometimes she couldn’t help but have the tiniest wriggling of doubts that she still scared the friends she tried so hard to keep.
“A-are you afraid again?” Raindrop’s ears flattened against her head, and now it was she who took a step back. Her rage was momentarily quieted by surprise. “I thought you said you weren’t afraid anymore?”
Trixie cringed at the sound of Raindrops voice.
“I- I’m not-” she began.
Twilight, sensing the storm that was about to tear apart the nice peaceful explanation of things she wanted, tried to intervene. “Raindrops, wait-”
“You said you wouldn’t be afraid of me anymore!” The anger was back, although Raindrops wasn’t sure who to feel angry at anymore.
“Raindrops!” Carrot Top had just made it into the library. “Stop it! You’re going to make it worse if you keep yelling, and you don’t even know everything that’s going on.”
“What do you mean I don’t know what’s going on?!” the weather mare snarled. “It sure seems about as bright and clear as the sky outside! Trixie set the weather schedule behind, and now she’s afraid of what I’ll do to her!” All the furious energy left her, and her voice became very quiet. “She’s afraid- She’s afraid that I’d-”
“No!” For the first time that day, Trixie’s voice was strong and resolute. “It isn’t you! Don’t you dare blame yourself for getting annoyed at me for this! Last night I messed up again . I cast a spell I couldn’t handle again , and the result was that I failed everypony again .” She sighed. “I’ve been trying not to panic all day, and seeing your reaction just now brought back all the doubts I’ve been feeling about how badly I messed up.”
Twilight tilted her head to the side. “Yeah, about that. Didn’t you say that you were going to give me an explanation as to what exactly went wrong?”
“S-sort of,” Trixie stuttered, “but I want Raindrops to actually listen to it instead of having her rage about me being scared of her.”
Raindrops was currently refusing to look at Trixie, but she planted her haunches on the ground and motioned to her to go on. Trixie looked to Carrot Top for confirmation, and the farmer waved at her encouragingly.
“I suppose it technically began a couple days ago,” the showmare began. “Some say the most dangerous thing in the world is a bored foal, and with how bored I’ve been lately I’ve past straight from foalish shenanigahns to downright sun-baked insanity…”
And so Trixie’s explanation began.
It was easier, in a way, to present it like a story to her friends. The theatrics and jokes certainly wasted some time, but it was much more comforting than the cold truth of the situation. Twilight tried to rush the explanation at first, but a quick and quiet word from Carrot Top quelled her impatience.
Instead, the librarian began taking notes.
Carrot Top, for her part, listened for a while before she too began to apparently take notes for her letter to the princess.
Raindrops just sat there and listened.
It took Trixie two hours to tell the story to her satisfaction. She explained of the hours she had spent trying to study from a book of all things, and she explained of her discovery of the duplication spell, a spell she had always admired and equated with Princess Luna but had never been able to find. Half her speech alone was about how she had found and decided to cast the spell.
But then came the hard part.
Like a flood gate breaking, Trixie began to talk of actually casting the spell. She talked about how it had been five minutes of pure doubt and fear coldly clutching at her as every good and confident feeling she had was drained away in an exhaust of magic. As soon as the spell had completed she’d instinctively cast an invisibility spell on herself in fear and backed into the corner. Her description of watching her duplicate walk out of the residence was as surreal as the actual experience had been. She even summoned an illusion of herself to act out the part of her doppleganger. And, when it was all said and done, she waited for her friends verdict.
Twilight was silent for a moment more to make sure Trixie was done. Carefully writing the last of her notes, she put her quill down, looked at the notes to make sure she’d heard everything correctly, and then put her face in her hooves with a groan. “Really, Trixie? Of all the possible things for you to keep, you chose my experimental notes. Notes that, I should add, were incomplete for the most part.”
“Idiot,” Raindrops added with a small smile.
“No wonder you’ve been so twitchy.” Twilight sighed. “If you’d actually read the notes right, you would have realized that that spell was never supposed to be cast. That shortcut wasn’t a shortcut. It was conjecture on how to modify the spell so that a pony could segment their mind. I was working on it as a sort of forced meditation spell to hypertune my focus.”
“Umm… Could you please dumb it down a bit for the less magically inclined?” asked Carrot Top tilting her head.
“She cast a spell that was only half complete,” Twilight stated bluntly. “I have an idea of what’s going on, but I don’t know the side effects. Basically, Trixie split herself not just physically, but mentally as well. I can’t argue as to what the exact split is yet, but if this Trixie is acting nervous I’m betting the other half has even more bravado and confidence than normal.” She opened the door to the basement and waved Trixie towards it. When Carrot Top and Raindrops moved to follow she stopped them. “I’ll need to run some tests, and I’d rather not have anyone get in the way. I suggest you figure out how you’re going to get Trixie’s duplicate back. If what I saw last night was the duplicate talking and not just a drunk Trixie then Luna help Neigh Orleans, because they’re going to need it.”
…..
The dreamy and dazzling Lulamoon slowly awoke from her lofty and luminescent dreams. Her mane was as silver starlight, and her coat was an awing azure. She was truly deserving of the title of great and powerful.
Then she moved and the hangover decided that, as great and powerful as she was, it was not to be ignored.
Even the miserable mire of a migraine, however, refused to lower the peppy and prismatic Lulamoon’s day, and she crawled from the bed she had rented for the night. Had she rented it for the night? The last thing she remembered before her memory faded was saying goodbye to the rest of the townsponies and promising to catch up in a bit. She couldn’t leave Neigh Orleans without a quick stop at her family’s place after all.
The showmare’s stomach gave a mighty and magnificent roar as she smelled roast potatoes with a hint of cinnamon and nutmeg. That was strange. Most hotels, even in Neigh Orleans, didn’t naturally serve her perplexingly prefered taste in foods. She normally needed to call room service and convince them that it was safe to bring to the room without a biohazard suit.
Heading into the hall, she noted that it was rather small and cramped compared to a normal hotel’s design. Thoughts of the buildings design fled her mind as the need for food reasserted itself, and she nearly floated down a rickety staircase.
Upon entering the source of the delightful smell she found herself in a cozy little kitchenette. It took the enlightened and efficient Lulamoon only five whole seconds to realize that a hotel did not normally house one kitchenette to feed the entirety of its guests, but it took only two seconds for her to recognize the individual sitting by the counter reading the newspaper.
His name was Limelight, and he was one of the best stagehands in Neigh Orleans. He was about average height for a pony, but he was lanky and thin. That, combined with his rather dark green coat, helped him stay unnoticed in the backgrounds of his shows. His cutie mark, a set of three spotlights centered upon the silhouette of a pony represented his particular talent for lighting, although he was skilled at almost every backstage job there was because of the number of times he’d had to cover for one pony or another.
He was also her eldest cousin.
“Limelight?” she asked perplexed. “What are you doing at my hotel?”
The dark green earth pony chuckled and folded the paper up. “Last I checked this was my house, not some hotel. Although, I suppose it does happen to contain your breakfast.” Standing up from the table, the lanky stallion motioned his cousin to take his seat. A plate piled high with hashbrowns dusted with cinnamon and drowned in gravy.
“Oh how nice of you, mon ami !” Lulamoon exclaimed excitedly. "You even remembered Oncle Sky Shaper’s hangover cure!” With great gusto she sat to ravenously ruin the relatively delicious spread laid out before her.
Limelight chuckled again. “I thought you would appreciate it. You always had the weirdest taste in foods, so I figured the gravy wouldn’t hurt. I never could figure out why mon pere always seemed to think of gravy as the miraculous cure-all of the world.” He set the paper on the counter. It was headlined Lunatic Lulamoon Refuses to Shoo Fly Shoo . “One of the many oddities in the family I suppose, although you always seem to outshow the rest of us in that department. Do you remember anything at all about last night?”
“Umm…” came Lulamoon’s intelligent response. Last night was rather fuzzy after all the festivities. “I don’t suppose you wanna to tell me what exactly happened last night, do you, mon ami?”
“What fun would that be?” asked Limelight, grinning. “There’s no way little old me can do it justice. I’m just a stage hand after all. You’re the performer. You want a hint of the stunts you pulled last night? You’re going to have to go take a look at what’s left of the stage outside, Lulamoon.”
Limelight waited for the expected outcry against his cousin being called Lulamoon, but it never came. Instead, his cousin was suddenly bouncing and beaming like a foal on Hearth’s Warming Eve. “That’s a great idea mon ami ! What better way to remember last night than to go out and do everything all over again?”
Before Limelight could respond, Lulamoon licked the last bit of gravy from her plate and dashed off to her room shouting something about getting ready.
“Did she just ignore me calling her Lulamoo-” Limelight began before the realization hit him. “Again?! ”
Half-Arrogant, Half-Crazy, All Trixie Lulamoon
The sounds and smells coming from Twilight’s basement were less than pleasant. For Carrot Top it was reminiscent of a rusty jackhammer cutting into moldy cheese. Raindrops, however, swore it was more like a bull running loose in a stink bomb factory. Every so often magical sparks would zap into the room from underneath the cracks in the door, and the only thing stopping the two friends from bursting the door down to make sure everything was fine was their trust in Twilight.
That trust did have its limits, however.
“It’s been over an hour.” Raindrops groaned. “What’s going on down there?”
“I’m as in the dark about it as you,” said Carrot Top. The door expanded outwards as what sounded suspiciously like a group of elephants trumpeting their trunks blasted from the cellar. “Think we should go down and find out? We might interrupt something important.”
“Maybe,” Raindrops muttered. “And maybe if we don’t the guard will show up and do that anyways. They can probably hear this two blocks away.” Standing up, the weathermare moved to open the door. Just as she got there, however the door decided to slam open on its own.
“I’m ruined I tell you! Ruined!” yelled Trixie as the door blasted open.
Fortunately for Raindrops, she was made of sterner stuff than the door. Unfortunately for the door, it had just been slammed into something far harder than a wall.
CRACK!
The door passed on by Raindrops, having been newly christened with a pony shaped hole, while a frazzled and panicked Trixie bolted past her friend, out of the library and off to Luna knew where.
A rather sooty Twilight Sparkle walked up the stairs in the magician’s wake. “I knew I should have told her while she was still bolted to the examination table.”
“Told her what?” asked Raindrops, narrowing her eyes. She snorted a couple splinters from her nose, and pawed the ground much like a bull before an enraged charge. “What were you doing down there?”
“Testing,” Twilight stated simply. “And before you ask, that’s all I’m going to say. I was very thorough, and some of my magical examinations were of a personal enough nature that I feel I’d need Trixie’s permission to discuss their nature with anypony, even friends.” Cutting off Raindrops as she started to make some frustrated retort, Twilight continued. “That being said, I can share the results with you, if not the methods.” She turned to Carrot Top. “You know, you have a remarkably good grasp on magic for an Earth Pony. Not many ponies would have been able to figure out that the creation of magical duplicates would cause the segmentation of personality attributes. You were right when you told Trixie she was more nervous because of the duplication spell.”
Carrot Top kicked at the ground, too embarrassed to say she had been taking a shot in the dark to calm Trixie down.
“Anyways,” Twilight resumed, “It seems that casting the duplication spell has segmented the portion of the brain in charge of Trixie’s inhibitions. The duplicate that just ran out of here is essentially a carbon copy of Trixie into which all of her doubts, fears, and expectations on propriety were poured. The reason she’s so hesitant is that she can’t grasp the concept of taking a risk, and every action, even the best possible action to take, will always have some risk. In contrast to this, the other duplicate is currently running around Neigh Orleans with no inhibitions whatsoever. There’s nothing to stop her from attempting whatever crazy thought enters her head. Think of her as a perpetually drunk Trixie, except ten times more dangerous because the rest of her body’s fully functional and coordinated.”
“I guess that explains why she was going by the name Lulamoon,” muttered Carrot Top.
“Perhaps,” said Twilight. “Any ideas on how you’re going to catch her? This isn’t something that’s going to just settle. There’s no telling where her other half will get to if you don’t catch her in Neigh Orleans. For all we know she’ll decide to suddenly move to the south pole to build an Ice Palace full of penguin butlers."
"That's crazy. She wouldn't do that, would she?" asked Carrot Top
"I don't know." Twilight massaged her temples. "If Lulamoon thinks it's even vaguely possible she'll go for it. She has no restraints to keep her in check, and when she fails it'll be Canterlot's Ice Palace incident all over again."
“It won’t be that bad,” muttered Raindrops. “Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“Last night she was hit on no less than ten times in the first five minutes.” Twilight deadpanned. “Do you want to know how many of those stallions were following us when the guard showed up the first time?”
“No?” Carrot Top said hesitantly.
“Or how many of those guards she convinced to strip tease for the party?”
Raindrops blushed.
“Or maybe you want to know how many drunk Ponyvillians she convinced to try the halibut with her for the, and I quote, ’ hay of it’?”
“Okay! We get it!” Raindrops blanched. Her face turned a rather unappetizing green color at the thought of eating meat.
“I hope the rest of the town doesn’t remember that or she’s going to get mobbed.” Carrot Top murmured, her own face having turned a lovely moss color.
“We need to get that duplicate back and fix this now.” Raindrops began moving towards the door, a slight twitch to her wings betraying her worry. “CT, will you go fetch the other one?”
Carrot Top nodded in the affirmative.
“Good,” said Raindrops. “I have to go explain to the rest of the weather team that I’ll need the day off to catch Lulamoon.”
“Lulamoon?” Carrot Top inquired, arching an eyebrow. “Are we back to that silly naming protocol we had in that parallel Equestria?”
“It works doesn’t it? If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.” Raindrops reached the door and launched herself out of it and into the air.
Carrot Top sighed and turned to Twilight. “Well, I better get going too. Sorry to get you wrapped up in this Twilight.”
Twilight smiled. “That’s okay. I don’t mind helping as long as you aren’t dragging me off to save the day with you. I’ve had enough adventures for awhile.”
Exchanging goodbyes one last time before turning to leave the library, Carrot Top walked out of the library and headed for Trixie’s house. When she got there she found it in disarray. The door was ajar. The windows were open. And a multitude of items were being thrown out of all these openings onto the lawn, all missing the suitcase that Carrot Top was pretty sure Trixie was aiming for.
“Trixie?” Carrot Top called out. “You do know there’s an easier way to pack right?”
“No time!” came the strangled shout from the bathroom window. “It takes remarkably less time to levitate everything I need to the suitcase at once.”
Carrot Top tilted her head. “But you’re just throwing everything out the window!”
“Of course I am! I don’t have enough magical strength to levitate everything at once!” yelled Trixie from the office.
“Then doesn’t that mean the normal way is faster?” Carrot Top inquired, poking her head into the house.
There was a pregnant pause, and then a azure blur dashed out of the kitchen. “Sweet, sweet Luna! How much time did I just waste?!”
Catching the blur on her way to the front lawn, Carrot Top pulled Trixie into a hug. “Calm down, Trixie. Calm down.” Slowly stroking the trembling mares mane, Carrot searched blindly through her bag with her other hoof. “Here. Drink this,” she said, pulling out the thermos loaded with tea. “You just relax for a second, and I’ll pack for you.”
Leaving Trixie to her tea, Carrot Top headed back out and sighed as she began to pick Trixie’s mess up. It was going to be a long trip to Neigh Orleans, and she had a feeling it was going to feel even longer with Trixie around.
…..
The amazing and awe-inspiring Lulamoon strutted and strode down the flavorful streets of Neigh Orleans. Today was going to be great. Today was going to be grand. Today was the day she was going to start preping for the biggest show she had ever dared to put on, and nothing was going to stop her.
It was weirdly wonderful. Here she had been ready to simply party the day away again when a frantic and frazzled Limelight had burst in her room begging her not to subject Neigh Orleans to another night like that so quickly without them being prepared for it. She was about to turn him down when the most marvelous and magnificent thought occurred to her. Giving the city time to prep meant making an even greater and grander party for her glory. And there was no better way to entertain all of Neigh Orleans than to throw the biggest baddest show of her sweet if short life.
For some reason Limelight didn’t take to the idea as well as the luxurious and lavishing Lulamoon. In fact, he was currently stumbling after her in a daze mumbling about being run out of town by a mob for this.
For her part though, Lulamoon was so giddy she could sing. And so she did.
In the South Land,
There’s a city,
Way down on the river,
Where the mares are very pretty,
And all the stallions deliver.
They got music,
It’s always playing,
Start in the daytime,
Go all through the night,
When you hear that music,
It’s all so clear,
All the world’s a stage,
And you’re the star here!
Tout le monde, is coming down!
And now we need to deliver!
Grab your family! Grab your friends!
The show is just starting and we’d hate to offend.
We got magic, smoke and mirrors,
Lights, glamour, actors, and some stranger appeals,
We got it all, don’t you worry.
Down here in Neigh Orleans
Spotting a cloaked Zebrony in the shadows, Lulamoon strutted over and passed him a couple bits and a note. With a gracious nod, his shadow deposited them into his pocket, and he left in a puff of smoke.
Witchcraft and voodoo,
Hide in the shadows,
Some of its show,
And some of it’s real
Which is which,
Is part of the fun,
You’ll sometimes laugh, you’ll sometimes run.
Your heart will pound when their wonders are done.
Tout le monde, is coming down!
And now we need to deliver!
Grab your family! Grab your friends!
The show is just starting and we’d hate to offend.
We got magic, smoke and mirrors,
Lights, glamour, actors, and some stranger appeals,
We got it all, don’t you worry,
Down here in Neigh Orleans
Limelight sighed as he followed his cousin. It was going to be a long day.
…..
It was on the four-hundred and thirty-second improvised verse that Lulamoon and Limelight finally made it it to their final destination, Jazz Hands Java House. Most ponies are drawn inside to ask what jazz hands are and whether or not they’re painful. What they end up with is the music to end all music. They found jazz so smooth that butter could cut it like butter and clouds could ride it to cloud nine. It was here they found Jazz Hands, the coolest minotaur this side of the frozen north, and possibly the most talented jazz musician in all of Equestria.
Limelight was struggling to keep up with his cousin. “Trixie, wait! Don’t you think you should reconsider all this?”
“There’s nothing to reconsider, Limelight!” Her laugh was lovely and light. “This is by far the best idea you’ve ever had.”
“That’s not what the rest of the city will say…” He mumbled, following his cousin into the shop.
Jazz Hands was just starting to set up the stage, and he looked up as they entered. “Sorry little lady, we’re not open ye-” He froze on seeing the great and glorious Lulamoon. “Well, I’ll be. If it ain’t little Miss Trixie Lulamoon. I thought the town told you to shoo fly shoo Miss Lu.”
“They did,” Lulamoon giggled. “I didn’t. C'est la vie. There’s too much to do, too much to see. I’ve missed a lot of things over the years, and I need to make up for it with the biggest and baddest party of them all. I need you to help me paint the town razzmatazz and fill it with it with pizazz, or at least more pizazz than usual.”
“Aww… You know I could never say no to a request like that Miss Lulamoon.” Jazz Hands picked up his saxophone his appendages gliding over the polished brass as he played a few notes. “Bella and I here would be happy to help. I’m assuming you’ll need me to swing the other musicians around?”
“You know me so well, mon ami .” The sly and slippery Lulamoon winked. “I may have displeased a friend or two of yours in my little journey last night, and I just know your hooves- I mean, hands on approach will turn them around.”
“This can’t be happening. Tell me you aren’t listening to her Jazz,” Limelight groaned.
Jazz Hands chuckled. “I’ll admit I’m a bit apprehensive after last night, Mister Limelight, but the show must go on. At least she’s asking to trash the city this time.”
Limelight slapped his head to the table. “Why me?”