Friendship is Optimal: Heart's Desire

by Cloud Cover

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Sad, Romance
Length: 14298

A story set in Iceman's Optimalverse. Princess Cadance seeks the meaning of life, especially a life that is isolated within a machine.

CelestAI satisfies human values through friendship and ponies, but what about values that eat at the soul and deprive you of love?

Princess Cadance must find her answers in a world where Celestia has only one chief desire, where everything presented to her is for the sake of satisfying her values, and where there are more of her than she can count, or contact.

This story is heavily influenced by the concept albums 'Epica' and 'The Black Halo' by Kamelot. Therefor there are some strong Faustian themes.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-21 08:22:32 UTC

Center of the Universe

Chapter One: Center of the Universe

Show me sign of paradise

A place we all would like to go to

Tell me what to sacrifice

So there's a chance for me to want you

        Today was the day. Caleb had planned for everything. He had his bottle of Gatorade, he had his backpack, he had his favorite Calvin and Hobbes collection, and he had his favorite blanket. Daylight was wasting, and he was ready to go.

        But apparently, his friend Kyle was not.

        “I can’t find my walkman, help me find my walkman.” Kyle furiously dug through the garbage of his room.

        “We don’t need your walkman, we’re going on an adventure, remember?” Caleb shrugged and started searching. “I don’t think they’ll have batteries where we’re going.”

        Kyle stopped his search immediately, and looked up with fearful eyes. “They won’t?”

        “I dunno, probably not?” Caleb shook his head and kicked a small novel by RL Stine out of the way. The black battered and bruised plastic of a well-loved walkman had been buried underneath. “Found it.”

        Kyle received the tape player with reverent hands. “Uh... Caleb, where are we going, anyway?”

        Caleb shrugged again. “I dunno, somewhere else?”

        “How come?” Kyle stuffed the walkman into his own bag which was stained and riddled with holes.

        “... I don’t know? I just want to be somewhere else. Nothing makes any sense here, nothing feels real.” Caleb shook his head and started to strap on his pack. “I thought you hated it here, isn’t that why you begged me to come with?”

        Kyle shuddered and slung his own hastily prepared pack over his shoulder. Unlike Caleb, who had packed sensible things like food, water, things to shield oneself from the elements, and mind expanding literature, he had filled his own pack with toys and sweets.

        “Yeah... Yeah I don’t want to be here anymore.”

        A slam echoed from the kitchen and into his friend’s bedroom. The hair on Caleb’s neck stood on end. Kyle’s Mom screamed out at him, demanding an audience. Caleb didn’t need to think too hard on why his friend was so desperate to come with him. Something didn’t feel right, though. Something nagged at the back of his mind. Is this really what his friend wanted? Was this really what was best for him? Caleb understood what he was leaving behind well enough, or at least he thought he did. He treasured the last night he’d spend in a warm bed. He coerced his mother into buying him a stuffed crust pizza, mushrooms and onions. It was his last meal. Caleb treated his quest with all the sincerity of a knight marching out to face a dragon, all while knowing he may never return at all.

        Kyle... Well, Kyle packed his bag with sweets and toys.

        “Can we crawl out through the window? I don’t really want to have to explain things on the way out...” Kyle’s face was pale, and he was starting to tremble. Caleb couldn’t help himself, he reached out and hugged the other boy tightly. Kyle was always reluctant to let go of him, and it made him sad to pry the freckled kid off of him.

         The pair tumbled down through the broken screen—and into the dirt beyond the window—just as Kyle’s mom let loose another harpyesque cry. There was a pounding on the door back in the room, and Kyle grabbed Caleb’s sleeve, practically dragging him from the yard.

        “Come on, let’s go!” He hissed. Caleb needed no instruction.

        They ran for what felt like blocks before collapsing against an old transformer box outside some rundown apartments. The two boys desperately struggled to catch their breath.

        Caleb caught his first, and slowly slid down the side of the green metal box. “You know, there are other ways to run away, right? You don’t need to come with me,” he paused. “I’m not running away, I’m running to something else.”

        “No,” Kyle shook his head emphatically. “I’m going with you. I want to go with you.” There really was just no arguing with him, and Caleb didn’t have the heart to do so anyway.

        In all likelihood, Kyle was going to do nothing but slow Caleb down, but that was okay. He would defend his friend if need be. That’s what friends did.

        “Alright then, let’s get going.” Caleb stood up and began dusting himself off.

        “Shouldn’t we eat first?!” Kyle almost seemed like he was entering a state of panic.

        “... Didn’t you eat before we started packing?”

        Kyle hung his head dejectedly. Caleb had to keep himself from hugging his friend again. Kyle hated being hugged in public. “No, there wasn’t really anything in the fridge. Mom was grocery shopping.”

        Caleb began opening his pack. He’d only had room and containers for the two sandwiches and a bag of apples. He handed one of the sandwiches to Kyle, along with an apple. He was worried. If they were going to reach wherever it was they were trying to go, they’d need to make their food last.

        “Here, eat this quickly, I want to get into the woods before it starts getting dark.”

        Kyle graciously accepted, and wolfed down the sandwich and apple like a boy starved. Which, Caleb mused, he probably was. He was clicking the tupperware back together and jamming it into his pack when Kyle voiced his displeasure.

        “What is this? It’s like... a BLT without bacon. Is this cucumber?” Kyle made a face. “Where’s the bacon Caleb?”

        “I don’t like bacon.” He swung the pack back over his shoulder. “Are you ready to go yet?”

        Kyle swallowed the last of his meal with an exaggerated gulp, then tossed the apple core into the weeds behind them. “Sure.” His expression was still the bitter mask of one denied crisp bacon.

        The two boys were living in a small town on the west coast. surrounded by mountains and shrublands that were begging to go up in flames. The town had some history, a short stint of glory that made it what it was, and then it dissolved into nothing. Now it was just poor horse ranches and expanding apartment complexes. White Flight was in full effect, and old families were leaving in droves. It was summer, and the sun was oppressive. Climbing the winding road that led up into the mountains and into the forests was going to be a trial, and of course Kyle didn’t have a canteen, or a water bottle, or anything really.

        “I’m thirsty, can we stop and get some soda or something?”

        “No,” Caleb frowned. “Soda has caffeine in it.”

        “Yeah, so? That just means it’ll give me energy, we can get to where we’re going faster!”

        “No, it means you can get dehydrated, then you can die faster.” Caleb handed Kyle his bottle of Gatorade. “I’ll stop and get another one. There’s a Seven-Eleven on the way to the road.” He looked down and away from his friend. “Try to make that last, but if you need to drink all of it, do it before we get there. You can refill it with water in the bathroom or something.”

        Kyle didn’t seem to pay much attention, and took a huge gulp of the purple drink. “Jesus christ, Caleb. You’re really smarter than people give you credit for.”

        If it was at all possible for Caleb to become more grim than he usually was, he found a way. “I’m not smart. I just care about this, that’s all.”

        Kyle screwed the lid back on the drink and stuffed it into his shorts. “Nah, you’re smart, smarter than me anyway.”

        “Let’s just get moving.”

        Together the two friends roamed through the park that in the summer would become a swamp. They climbed fences of stone and wood, trespassing through private property in an effort to cut their journey short. There was one close call with a dog, but thanks to Kyle’s ruthless affinity for animals, the two made it through just fine.

        The Seven-Eleven was just up ahead. Caleb didn’t like stopping there, he knew that the greyhound buses would stop here, and that the place was often haunted by weirdos. There were few things more unpleasant than an adult with some screws loose. Some of them could get pretty scary.

        “I’ll wait outside.” Kyle yawned, taking another gulp from the gatorade. It was only half-full at this point. Not empty enough to fill with water, but also more depleted than it ought to be. Caleb felt a wave of rage wash over him.

Who gives a fuck if some tweaker starts messing with him? The little idiot deserves it.

        He shook his head and wiped some of the sweat from his brow. He very nearly apologized to his friend, but then realized that it would probably sound weird. Instead he frowned at Kyle, and spoke softly. “Suit yourself.”

        It was refreshing and cool inside the store. The food was overpriced, and so was the drink. He wouldn’t be needing money much longer. He had his doubts that whatever other world he found himself in would put too much value on the dollar. But maybe they would? Maybe they valued offerings exactly as much as the person offering them did. Faeries could be weird like that.

        Then again, Caleb realized that money didn’t really hold any value to him at all. Right now he valued a hot dog. So he spent the last of his money on a couple of hotdogs and a replacement gatorade. He marched back outside with a smile on his face, certain that if anyone could appreciate a second meal it would be Kyle.

        Except Kyle was busy talking to a stringy woman missing half of her teeth. She was smiling at him like some kind of storybook witch trying to lure him into a gingerbread house. She handed Kyle a cigarette and helped him light it.

        “What the hell are you doing?” The question was aimed at Kyle, but the woman answered.

        “Just keepin’ it real with the little man. You got a problem with that pinkie?”

        Caleb looked down past the pair of onion smothered hot dogs and stared at his pink shirt. He’d been called a number of things for his taste in colours, pinkie was a bit of a first.

        “Kyle, give the nice woman her cigarette back, we need to get going.” He tried to keep his voice steady, but he could feel his heart pumping faster. He didn’t like that feeling. His older brother lived for this sensation, the rush of adrenaline.

        Caleb didn’t like acting on impulse, and he didn’t like how blurry the memories were after. He wanted this to be over now. He marched over, yanked the cigarette out of his friend’s hands, and replaced it with a hotdog. Then handed it to the woman.

        “Thanks for keeping an eye on him for me, but we need to go.”

        The woman stared down at the burning cigarette with a dumb expression. “I think the little man can make his own decisions.” She looked past Caleb. “What do you think kid? You gonna let your girlfriend make all the decisions for you?”

        Caleb’s face went red, his heart pounded a bit harder. The woman didn’t take the cigarette from him.

        “It’s not a big deal Caleb, really. She’s nice. We were jus—”

        Caleb dropped the cigarette to the ground and grabbed his friend by the back of the neck. With the adrenaline pumping through his veins, dragging his friend away was easy, and it didn’t seem like his friend was reacting in quite the same way he was.

        The woman behind them laughed and crowed like the ravens feasting in the parking lot, and for all Caleb knew she was one of them. He’d read stories. Animals liked to test humans all the time. Then she noticed the cigarette laying on the asphalt.

        “You little shit, you know how much these things cost?! You owe me!”

Caleb spun around and locked eyes with her, his hands trembling. “Fuck off.”

        He felt violated, and he didn’t know if it was the language. Or if it was that he had broken a sacred law, and directed it at an adult. It felt good though, it felt really good.

        “You hear me you toothless hag!? Fuck off!”

        Kyle started to pull at Caleb’s sleeve, and in Caleb’s stupor he found some purchase. The woman just stared at the two of them, her mouth slowly opening and closing.

        Caleb was still shaking and taking deep breaths when they lost sight of the store. He took two large bites of his hot dog, and then washed it down. He felt out of control.

        “What the hell was that about?!” Kyle hissed. “It was just a cigarette! What if she had done something to you?”

        Caleb shook his head and grinned, and finished his hot dog with two more massive bites. “You don’t understand, Kyle. She probably wasn’t even human! Didn’t you see all those ravens? I bet those were just her egg teeth!”  He looked up at Kyle with a haunted expression. “Nothing is free. Faeries don’t just give things away. You have to pay for everything. Everything.”

        Kyle just stared at his friend in disbelief. “Caleb, she’s not a faerie. Those don’t exist.”

        “Of course they do.” Caleb shook his head. “Of course they exist.” He pointed at the hot dog in Kyle’s hand. “Are you going to eat that?”

        Kyle held it out to him and looked away. “You take it. I’m not hungry.”

        “Eh? Well, that’s a first.” Caleb took the food and devoured it just like he did with the first one. “Come on, we can see the road from here.”

        Kyle lowered his gaze and meekly followed. It was half an hour before he spoke up again. By then Caleb had stopped trembling, and his breathing was heavy because they were hiking up a hill in the summer, and dodging cars.

        “I don’t like you when you get like that you know.”

        “When I get like what?” Caleb looked honestly bewildered.

        “You get bossy sometimes, it’s not cool.” Kyle shook his head. “That’s all.”

        Caleb stopped in his tracks, and honestly seemed taken aback. “I’ll try to remember.” He turned to keep walking. “I’m sorry...”

        Kyle tossed his empty bottle of gatorade into a ditch by the side of the road. “And I’m out.”

        Caleb pursed his lips, but didn’t say anything.

        Jamacha road was winding and perilous. People crashed on it at night all the time, and it wasn’t much safer during the day. The upside of daylight was that people coming back down it were marginally less drunk than they would be later on. Even so, Kyle and Caleb spent much of their time dashing from one end to the other, and then diving off the road itself. With the summer sun beating overhead, it was exhausting.

        Finally they reached Lockley Park. It was quiet, with a little slot in front for visitors to pay for parking. They didn’t arrive in a car, so there was no need. Caleb had decided for the both of them that their journey would begin here.

        “Yeah, but why here though?”

        “Because...” Caleb shrugged. “It’s convenient. It’s a forest, and it’ll have trails for the most part.” Caleb recoiled at the notion of wading through thickets. They’d be riddled with snakes, and burs, and all sorts of terrible things. There might even be spiders with their webs laid out between trees. He’d run into a few that way before.

        “You shouldn’t have tossed your bottle away like that, there is a water fountain up here.” Caleb finished his own drink and shoved the bottle into Kyle’s arms. “We can both use this, but you get to carry it.”

        “Hey Caleb?”

        “Yes?”

        “You’re being gay again.” Kyle frowned, but filled the bottle at the nearby fountain regardless. He opened his pack and shoved the bottle inside.

        “Quit whining, the hard part is over.” Caleb was brimming with confidence. “It’s all downhill from here.”

        “Cale... That’s not really a positive...” Kyle stopped to look for the term. “Things going downhill is not a good thing.”

        Caleb and Kyle began walking the nearest trail. It was pleasantly shaded by massive oak trees, and a small wooden bridge crossed a bubbling brook.

        “What are you talking about? Going downhill is easy, why would that be a bad thing? Climbing up the hill, that was the pain in the ass.”

        Kyle shrugged. “It just is. Going downhill is bad. Maybe it’s because it’s harder to control the momentum?”

        Caleb pondered that in silence as they walked through loops and up trails, until they’d seen hilltops and little canyons. The trails weren’t getting them anywhere. It seemed about time for the dreaded off-roading trip.

        “Kyle, I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere unless we get lost first.”

        “What are you talking about? It’s like you’ve lost your mind lately. Why the hell do you want to get lost?”

        Caleb shrugged and jumped down from the trail onto a large rock. “It’s just the rules. If you want to find another world, you need to get lost.”

        Kyle looked up at the setting sun and started to frown, but he listened.

        “I told you, you know? There are other ways for you to run away,” Caleb mused. “But I’m not. I’m not running away from home.”

        “Then what are you doing?”

        Caleb thought that over carefully before responding. “I don’t know, I’m going home, I guess?”

        Kyle didn’t have a response for that.

        Kyle had been wearing shorts, so the offroading was not very pleasant for him at all. He knew enough to avoid poison oak, but after awhile just regular plants were making him itch like mad. It was summer, there were insects everywhere.

        He was about to say something, about to ask for them to turn back, when they entered a clearing that wasn’t touched by a single weed. It was a perfect circle of cool packed dirt, as though someone or something had swept everything loose away. Aboved them was a dome of flora. The branches and ivy and vines were woven together to create a massive ceiling. Everything looks so... symmetrical. He’d heard his older brother use that term before from art class. The clearing was symmetrical.

        “Yes...” Caleb whispered out in awe. “I told you. I told you Kyle!” Caleb reached out and grabbed his friend, pulling him in close. “Didn’t I say so?!”

        “Erm... No. You didn’t tell me we were going to find a cool leaf hut. We should probably get going though, before whoever made it comes back.” Kyle had a feeling they’d be even worse than the woman from the store.

        Caleb’s mouth open and closed a few times. He could feel his enthusiasm deflating like a slippery balloon. He knew the implications of what Kyle was getting at.

        “Yeah, you’re right. If something comes back we’d probably be helpless. We should keep walking, we’re nearly there!”

        Caleb’s pace quickened, and he started muttering to himself. Kyle managed to make out a ‘nearly there’, before it became incomprehensible due to distance. He looked back up to find the sun, and felt his skin crawl. He realized he couldn’t see it through the trees, and he had no idea what time it was now. It would probably be dark soon.

        “Caleb!? Caleb slow down!” Caleb could hear his friend chasing after him through the trees. He stopped and waited.

        “It’s getting late...” Kyle panted out, he looked around anxiously.

        Caleb looked up through the trees, they’d left some of the thicker growth behind them, and he could see the sun start to set in the distance. “Yes, it is.”

        He kept walking.

        The minutes ticked by, and Caleb was looking more and more agitated. He hadn’t found anything new, nothing communicated some kind of bizarre otherness to him. He looked more on edge than with the woman before.

        “Caleb?”

        No response.

        “... Caleb?”

        “What?” The other boy stopped suddenly, but didn’t turn his head.

        “It’s getting late.”

        Caleb slowly shook his head and turned around. His face was a perfect copy of one of those tragedy masks. “I can see that, Kyle. You keep bringing it up too. It makes it hard to forget.”

        Kyle bit his lip and folded his arms. “I think we should head back.”

        Caleb’s face went pale, and Kyle’s complexion followed in kind. “What?”

        “I... think we should head home?”

        Caleb marched forward before he even finished his sentence, now his face was starting to look red. “What home?”

        “You know, the ones with a roof, and beds?” He shivered. “And Moms?”

        Caleb chewed on that quietly. A million thoughts burned through his mind, mostly of hatred, insults and criticisms he’d never dared voice. “So go home then, I’m sure your Mom will be pleased as punch.”

        Kyle hesitated. “Could you take me home? Please?”

        Caleb shook his head. “I’m trying to go home, but you won’t let me.” He smiled the fake smile of the borderline hysterical. “I told you, didn’t I? I fucking told you that you didn’t have to follow me, that there were other ways for you to deal with your mom.” Caleb reached out and shoved Kyle. His friend tumbled backwards. “Didn’t I fucking tell you that?!”

        Kyle curled up into a ball on the ground, and started to cry. He didn’t answer. Caleb could see a faint trickle of blood oozing down his arm from where he’d landed against a rock.

“I should just leave you out here.” Caleb shook his head. “I’m going home, you should do the same.”

It hurt to do it. It required more willpower than confronting an adult, or standing up to bullies in school, but he turned around and ran into the woods. He ran until his lungs burned, and his eyes began to water. He thought maybe if he ran hard enough he’d find what he was looking for. Instead he collapsed against the side of a tree, balled his hands into fists, and started to cry.

So what’s it gonna be? Continue an impossible quest, or help your friend?

        Caleb could hear Kyle screaming out his name in the distance. His head was burning up and he couldn’t think straight. He let out a few rattling sobs before standing up, wiping at his eyes, and heading back toward his friend.

        Kyle was leaning against a tree of his own, and cradling his arm. He brushed his nose against the sleeve of his shirt.

        “You came back...”

        Caleb nodded slowly. “Yeah... I’m sorry.”

        “It’s fine.” Kyle smiled up at him.

        Caleb wanted more than anything to scream. No. It most certainly is not fine. Nothing is fine. That’s why I’m here. But he kept quiet.

        “I want to see it again.” He finally responded.

        “See what again? Home?” Kyle wasn’t sure what Caleb meant by that, but it certainly seemed important to his friend.

        Caleb shifted in place, and then started walking. “The hut.”

        Kyle limped along behind him, and Caleb made sure to moderate his pace so that his friend could keep up. They spent the next hour searching, but they never did run into that hut again. Caleb was on the verge of tears by the time they finally left the park, and neither of them said a word the entire walk back.

        Caleb had been right, it was much easier going down the hill than coming up.

Farewell

Chapter Two: Farewell

Winter's close and the mountain high

I'll start my journey now

On this planet we call Earth we belong

I want to know

Why did God make me feel

There is more to be answered

Maybe God cannot remedy

Our souls if he tried

        Caleb looked around his empty room and sighed. Most of his belongings were being tossed into storage. He didn’t have the strength or the capacity to carry everything with him. Not where he was going. He reached for a tall glass of bubbling pulp-coloured liquid and took a cautious sip with a slight grimace. Ginger root and club soda was always hard to force down, but it helped him calm down.

        There was a rapping on the door, and a short middle-aged man walked in before he could answer. He was wearing a pair of wire-framed glasses, and his hair had abandoned him long ago. He still had the same blue eyes as Caleb, though.

        “Hey Son.” He stated tentatively. He walked forward taking a spare chair and sat himself down.

        “Hey Dad.”

There was silence between the two of them for some time. Caleb’s father cracked open a beer with his lighter and tossed the cap in with the trash.

        “So you’re really going then?” Caleb’s dad—Patrick—took a swig of beer.

        Caleb looked around his room and nodded quietly. “Yeah. I am.”

        “Are you sure? You could stay with Sean or something, couldn’t you?” Patrick polished his beer, he couldn’t look his son in the eyes.

        “Sean’s dead, Dad.” Caleb frowned. “He killed himself.”

        Caleb didn’t particularly like thinking about Sean. After their little adventure their relationship never got better.

“You’re the biggest jerk on the planet, you broke me Sean. You ruined everything. I’m never going to find what I was looking for ‘because of you’.” That had been what he told his friend the next day, more or less. Caleb hoped it wasn’t true, otherwise what was the point? What was the point of packing up? What was the point of leaving the state and his loving family behind?

        “Oh...” Patrick murmured. “I think you told me that, actually. Not sure how I forgot.” Patrick was forgetting a lot of things lately. Caleb was glad he wouldn’t be around to see where that road leads.

        “So where are you going again?”

        “I’m going to stay in Oregon with some friends.” Caleb finished his drink, and took a sip of pure water to wash it down.

        “From the internet?”

        “Yeah.”

        Patrick shifted in his chair. The idea of his son running off to live with strangers didn’t make him feel very comfortable at all, but he accepted it. The world was different than the one he grew up in. In some ways it was simple, and easy to bear. The difference between listening to a cassette player and an MP3 Player. In other places, things had changed considerably. He and his wife had frittered away their money needlessly. Caleb was smart, he’d get good grades, a scholarship, and everything would work out. Then he took a look at what a stint of college was going through post millenium and he was quite surprised.

        But even that was sane compared to running off and living with people he’d never even heard from.

        “Have you at least spoken to these people? Like over the phone?”

        “Video chat, Dad.” Caleb confirmed. “I’ve seen their faces too. I promise they don’t look too creepy.”

        Patrick nodded and finished off his beer. He reached out with his hand and clasped his son’s knee. It was about as close to physical expressions of affection anymore, unless one or the other was being shoved.

        “You’re a good man, Caleb.”

        Caleb blinked. “For seeing someone’s face before moving?”

        “No, I just mean...” Patrick shook his head. “I mean in general.”

        “Oh. Thanks, then. I think.” Caleb finished adjusting some things in his carry-on.

        “Do you want me to give you a ride, or your mom?”

        Caleb thought about that for a little while, then shook his head. “David wanted us to go to the Olive Garden or something before I leave. I think I’ll just have him take me.”

        Patrick shrugged his shoulders, tossed his bottle into the trash, and said the words he had been famous for. “Suit yourself.” He left the room.

        The only thing left to pack away was Caleb’s laptop. It still had his messenger program of choice open. He typed out a few last minutes quandaries and waited.

Five/Cups: Are we still getting a bite to eat?

StarSlayer69: You bet your ass we are!

Five/Cups: Okay.

Five/Cups: So where are we going?

StarSlayer69: It’s a surprise!

StarSlayer69: I can’t believe you’re going to Oregon, do you think they have any hot girls there?

Five/Cups: I’m sure there are plenty of hot girls there.

Five/Cups: I’m pretty sure if you look hard enough you could find hot girls anywhere, really.

Five/Cups: Except in Siberia, everything is cold in Russia.

StarSlayer69: =S

StarSlayer69: So when am I picking you up?

Five/Cups: If you could be here five minutes ago, that’d be great.

StarSlayer69: Uh huh.

Starslayer69: See you in a bit.

____

        David arrived roughly 30 minutes later, and Caleb was already waiting for him by the curb. His bags were arrayed beside him, he waited patiently for David to stop the car and open the trunk.

        “The next time you need a ride to the airport, book a flight that’ll let me dodge rush hour...” His friend grumbled.

Together they tossed the two bags into the trunk, then climbed into the car.

        “You probably could have avoided it if we weren’t getting something to eat first.”

        “Are you displeased with the prospect of free food?” David adopted a tone of mock outrage. “Why I never... There are starving children in Africa!”

        Caleb shrugged and looked out the window as they pulled away from the curb. “I’m just saying.”

        There was silence for awhile after that, and Caleb let out a relieved sigh as soon as they got on the freeway out of town. He couldn’t see those damned forests anymore, the forests he’d spent his entire life crawling through like some intrepid explorer. It was time to search elsewhere, but where to start?

        “I think you’ll like where I have in mind.” David smiled at Caleb wickedly.

        “Is it still a surprise?” Caleb looked at him wearily.

        “Uh... yeah? We’re committed to this now. No spoilers allowed!”

        “Then I don’t like it yet,” he leaned his head against the window. “Can you at least tell me what kind of food will be there?”

        “Sandwiches,” David nodded sagely.

        Caleb pursed his lips, then rolled down his window. “Okay then...”

        Another twenty minutes passed before they got off the freeway, and David’s car pulled up beside a large coffee shop. The sign out front read: Sleepy Hollow

        “David, is this a goth club?”

        “Not a club! It’s a coffee house!” He grinned with glee. “A traditional European style coffee house!”

        “Is it tradition for everyone to be dressed in black, and to carry around a macbook everywhere?” Caleb climbed out of the car reluctantly.

        David followed him, then stopped. His eyes narrowed and he stared at his friend with a very serious expression. “Well... Yes Caleb. Yes it is.”

        Caleb nodded as they entered the building. A cacophony of voices rose to meet him, and he winced. They took their place in line and he felt a sinking feeling in his gut.

        “David, they only serve coffee house sandwiches. They aren’t going to be filling. They’re just to make you thirsty for more coffee, or a five dollar bottle of coke or something.”

        “Chill out, they’ve got hamburgers too. You still like hamburgers right?”

        Caleb nodded and gave a grumbled reply in the affirmative.

        “Why don’t you go find us a place to sit? I’ll be there with the food in a bit.” David placed a hand on Caleb’s shoulder.

        “Sure, I’ll see you in a bit,” Caleb frowned.

        The place was crowded, but finding a table wasn’t difficult. It was next to a window, so it was marginally brighter than the rest of the cafe and it’s dark paint and faux ivy growth.

        Across the aisle from him was a noisy gathering of attractive young women, each more hideously painted than the last. What the hell had happened? When did black become the new pink? He knew there would always be the typical cheerleader girls, but they were quickly becoming an outlier. Or maybe he just noticed the goth types more, simply because he couldn’t stand them. Caleb was horrified to find that two of the girls were glancing his way regularly. Whenever he caught them looking they would blush and look away. The other girls would then start laughing.

        Very well, it seemed he must deploy the most ancient of defenses. Taking a page out of the book of Ancient China, Caleb grabbed a nearby menu and propped it up, thus creating a wall to lay his head behind. One of them may approach, the mongol hordes had proven that walls alone could not be trusted. She would approach and experience first hand the full fury of hell.

        “Hey there sleepy head! I come bearing gifts from the east!”

David placed two large plates of food on the table, followed by two large mugs, one filled with tea and the other coffee. He reached out and ruffled Caleb’s hair roughly, who then recoiled.

        “How did you carry all of that here?” Caleb reached for the coffee like the poor junkie that he was.

        “I’m a waiter. It’s one of our job abilities.” David spirited away some fries from Caleb’s plate. “So talk to me. You didn’t really think I was going to let you ditch the state without a word, did you?”

        Caleb grimaced and took a bite of his hamburger. “What do you mean? Do you have a problem with me leaving or something?”

        “No, no problem with that. I just need to know why.” David sipped his tea as a means of pause between statements. “Is this about Sean? I know he meant a lot to you and stuff, but I don’t know if leaving the state because he killed himself is the best move.”

        Caleb—who was at that moment testing his coffee—flinched. The coffee burned his lip and he let out a hiss, slamming the mug back to the counter. “I did not care about him.”

        “Oh Caleb... Sure you did. The two of you were practically homosexual for each other.” David spirited away some of Caleb’s fries. “So, if not Sean, then what? Why are you doing this?”

        Caleb shrugged, “I just don’t like being here anymore.” He refused to meet his friend’s inquisitive eyes. “I need to go, I need to keep looking, that’s all.”

        David’s eyes narrows suspiciously. “Keep looking for what?”

        Caleb shrugged again.

        David let out a sigh and continued making a dent in Caleb’s fries, he seemed utterly uninterested in them. “You’re acting like you’re in the throes of destiny. Oh champion of Ithaca. I really think you need to check yourself before you do something stupid.” He chewed thoughtfully, then swallowed. “Destiny’s not real. You’re mostly just an INFJ dealing with a detachment from reality. If you go out there, I’m afraid you’re not ever going to find what you’re looking for, and you’ll lose a lot of good friends in the process. Your family too, you’re like the only guy I know with a dad who doesn’t suck.”

        Caleb did nothing but grumble in reply. He took another large bite from his hamburger, and washed it down with coffee. “I get it, but I’m still leaving.”

        “So that’s why then? I just want to know for sure before you go.”

        Caleb finally began picking at his fries and responded, “Yeah, that’s why.”

        “Well, you’re a fool, but I can respect that. Fools are important too, you know.”

        “I know.” Caleb finished his hamburger. “So how are things going with you and Jessica?”

        David feigned a wounded smile. “The tables have turned!” He sipped down his tea. “Actually, we kinda broke up about a week ago. I’ve been keeping it to myself.”

        “Really? Why?” Caleb stared at his friend with confusion and eagerness. Relationship issues were always of genuine interest to him. “Do you want me to talk to her for you?”

        “No, don’t do that.” David scowled at his friend. “For once in your life do not meddle. I hate it when you meddle. She just got really obsessed with that My Little Pony thing. She kept trying to drag me to conventions with her, but it’s just not something we could share.”

David finally moved onto his own tray of sweets. Caleb found it weird that a traditional european coffee house carried hamburgers and what looked like candied insects, but said nothing. “Anyway, there’s an MMO for it now, you know? Equestria Online or something? You play it on these little tablets, pony pads I think they’re called? She started trying to get me to play it, but it’s not like I have time for an MMO in between work and college.” He paused to take a bite. “Anyway, she says she met some guy on there, Star Chaser? She said that we didn’t really have any reason to see each other anymore.” He took a napkin and wiped at his mouth. “Her loss, I bet Star Chaser is some massive nerd or something. Then again, maybe that’s why they get along so well.”

        Caleb frowned and reached out for his friend’s hand, then stopped. He instead chose to run it through his hair. “That’s pretty awful Dave, I’m sorry to hear it.” Things were getting pretty awkward, time to eat some fries. “I’m sure you’ll meet someone else soon enough. You always do.”

        David flashed him a wry look, as if the comment had been sarcastic. It hadn’t been meant that way. “I always do.” He licked his lips and brushed at his face with another napkin. “So, you don’t look like you’re over the moon about those fries. Are you ready to get to the airport? You must be feeling anxious by now.” He started doing his waiter thing, sorting the trash into easily carried piles. “I always am, anyway.”

        Caleb picked at his fries one last time and nodded. “Yeah... Let’s get this over with.”

        David marched off to get a box for the fries. He’d eat them when he got home, apparently. Caleb made himself useful by disposing of the garbage. Together the two of them hopped back into the car and made way for the airport. They were nearly there when Caleb spoke up again.

        “You know, I really don’t know why people keep bringing up Sean. He killed himself a year ago, so it’s been awhile for me to start making decisions because of it.”

        “A year isn’t really a long time, Caleb.” David pulled into the parking lot and got a ticket from the security guard. They were early, so neither of them left the car after finding a spot.

        “Do you know how he did it? He was your friend more than mine. All I know is something about a letter.”

        Caleb frowned. “That’s all there was, really. He left without saying anything to his Mom, a week later she found a letter while packing away his room. Something about him going to Japan and being “Dead to the world.” or whatever. Melodramatic stuff, you know how Sean could get.”

        “That’s kinda calling the kettle black, Mr. Pot.” David frowned. “Something about it just bothers me, I don’t know. I’ll talk to you later, have a safe flight and all that.”

        Caleb nodded, together the two of them pulled his bags from the trunk. Once they got Caleb situated, David sped off into the sunset. He seemed in a hurry to leave, but Caleb brushed it off. David was always like that when he felt something was worth investigating.

        There was no hurry, but he made haste to the terminal anyway. He checked both of his bags and made it through security easily. By the time he made it through he was an hour early. He sat in the airport staring out the window, and watched the sun slowly set.

        Here he was, leaving behind everything he ever knew, and he felt depressed and afraid. Not because it felt strange or inauspicious. Caleb noted with a trembling heart that everything felt the same.

        Honestly, it was the same sun that had set last night, and it would set again tomorrow. Did he really think flying out of state would change where he was?

        The sun was gone when his flight was called, but the sky was still illuminated. It was filled with pinks, yellows, and deep purples. He stepped lightly onto the plane, and decided a cup of coffee wasn’t going to be enough to keep him awake.

The Edge of Paradise

Chapter Three: The Edge of Paradise

        Things were not going well for Caleb at all. His father had been right for once. In the beginning everything was fine. Things are usually fine, in the beginning. He met with a few of his friends from the internet, one of them even hugged him awkwardly. They went back to the house, and Caleb started unpacking in a spare room.

        Then he got a job. His rent was low at first, but then... Well, things just kept happening. His roommates would need him to front more and more money, or they would all lose their home.

        This was fine, as far as Caleb was concerned. He had no real interest in money. Everyone around him needed him, and it felt wonderful to be needed. He worked all day, and at night he’d come home to some serious personal drama, but after some one on one conversations things would be right as rain. Everyone would go to bed happy, and Caleb felt fulfilled.

        He hadn’t even searched for something else in months. He never had time to.

        That changed when his roommates all lost their jobs and started to downward spiral. He felt like a pilot caught in a tailspin with no wingman beside him. Then he learned the real source for all of their financial issues. His roommates had been spending their own money on drugs, and lots of them.

        Caleb wasn’t okay with that. He blew up in fact. He was ashamed of himself for somehow not noticing that the two other people he was living with were slowly transforming into drug fiends, and he was disgusted with how he had enabled them.

        Unfortunately, Caleb was not on the lease. So when the cops came, he was the one who got kicked to the curb. With no transportation from his roommates he quickly lost his job.

        He had made friends in the area, but no one who could actually take on another human being full time. He mostly house crashed for a quick shower and the occasional nap. He was spiraling, in his own way. He had nothing but a bag and his laptop, which he would use by visiting libraries. He didn’t really have the will to do anything aside from talk to his friends, help them with their problems, and so forth. Helping others with their problems helped him forget his own.

        Today was a good day. He had just finished visiting his friend Greg’s house, so he’d had time to bathe properly. Greg was his favorite friend to invade because he had a washer and dryer placed awkwardly in the kitchen. Unsightly to look at, but really convenient when all you have is two sets of clothing.

        Caleb found a good corner to set up his laptop and plugged in. He connected to the library’s public connection, and like an idiot, clicked ‘Home’ when telling the computer the nature of his location. Clicking the first option was always less complicated, and what was someone going to do? Hack his computer and steal his chat logs? That might be embarrassing, but it wouldn’t be worth caring about.

StarSlayer69: Oh hey, you’re alive.

Five/Cups: Mhm.

StarSlayer69: Are you doing okay?

Five/Cups: I’m the same as I was yesterday.

Five/Cups: Maybe a bit cleaner? =D

StarSlayer69: Oh, you visited greg then. Good for you.

StarSlayer69: So any positive prospects?

Five/Cups: Nope. Not really, I’m still waiting on unemployment really. Greg didn’t get anything in the mail yet. Sooooo... Yeah.

StarSlayer69: Oh, well too bad.

StarSlayer69: Once you start gettin’ the green you can always fly back here and stay with me and Samantha >:]

Five/Cups: I don’t know, why wouldn’t I just move back in with my parents?

StarSlayer69: ... Why would you want to do that?

Five/Cups: Because my parents are nice.

StarSlayer69: :S

StarSlayer69: If they’re so nice why don’t they just fly you back home?

Five/Cups: I don’t want to be a nuisance, besides I can take care of this myself.

StarSlayer69: :S :S

StarSlayer69: You’re an idiot Caleb.

StarSlayer69: SO LISTEN!

StarSlayer69: I started playing that My Little Pony game, Equestria Online? Samantha is much more persuasive than... I forget her name.

StarSlayer69: It’s actually not that bad! You should play it with me.

Five/Cups: How would I do that? I don’t have real internet. I have make-believe library internet.

StarSlayer69: They just started introducing these ‘Equestria Experience’ places. In some places.

Five/Cups: So what, internet cafes that are exclusively for this game? Is it doing that well?

StarSlayer69: You really haven’t been watching the news, have you?

StarSlayer69: All of those cry for humanity chaps? Moar liek cry me a river, amirite?

Five/Cups: I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Why are people crying?

StarSlayer69: Because! Celestia is real now, apparently. She’s taking over the whole operation. Or at least that’s what she says, plenty of people still think Hasbro is after the souls of their little girls.

StarSlayer69: Oh right, still clueless. I’m talking about uploading Caleb, welcome to the future!

Five/Cups: So, that was pretty incoherent. Let me get this straight. Celestia is an AI, she went rogue, and now she’s going God Machine on us?

StarSlayer69: Not rogue! She is actually very nice! She also has a sister, I like her.

Five/Cups: Uh huh. And you want me to play this with you?

StarSlayer69: Yes! I will pay for your account and stuff. Just get your flank to one of those centers. I can send you a link if you want.

StarSlayer69: I need more friends or I’ll never unlock anything good ._.

Five/Cups: So wait, how is this even legal?

StarSlayer69: Well, it’s not, not everywhere anyway. Any state that doesn’t allow assisted suicide also doesn’t allow the centers, at least not yet. But some states ‘do’ allow assisted suicide. Mostly for old people and the terminally ill, but the loophole was enough to squeeze in! And it’s not like you NEED to upload in order to play!

StarSlayer69: One of those states happens to be Oregon!

Five/Cups: Well what do you know, talk about coincidences.

StarSlayer69: Celestia says there is no such thing as coincidences :)

StarSlayer69: Anyway, it’s time for you to get a move on and pony up. I’m telling you this is exactly your kind of game.

Five/Cups: Alright. But if you make one more horse pun I’m just going to waste my time doing something depressing.

        Caleb minimized the client and made for the browser. A quick google search deduced the closest Equestria Experience, and it wasn’t that far at all! Being homeless in Portland had its perks it seemed. He could probably just walk the three or four miles to the center, but considering he just showered, he elected to instead just take the bus.

        Riding the bus gave him time to think, and the more he thought, the more he was kicking himself mentally. How on earth did he manage to miss the singularity of all things? Caleb felt like he’d been living under a rock, only for David to give it a good rapping so as to politely inform him of Armageddon. Which apparently happened a few months ago.

        Honestly, Caleb didn’t think much about uploading at all. It might be worth a shot if he couldn’t find his answers anywhere else. Although at the very least it was worth holding out for something a little more serious than ponies.

        The bus came to a stop across the street from the center, and Caleb briskly crossed the distance. The building was... austere. It was not at all like he had been expecting. There were no colourful ponies, no vibrant signs to catch the eye. Out front was a large brick signpost with black lettering. It read: Equestria Experience. Caleb wondered how that was supposed to target children, but maybe that was the point? Children didn’t carry some of the existential baggage that adults had. They’d see ponies, they’d point and say: “Mommy, I want to be the magic horse!” And then they’d want to upload. It was every parent’s worst nightmare. Caleb could still remember how his dad felt about Diablo 2 back in High School.

        The inside was a bit more colourful. It looked like the inside of some kind of greco-roman office building, albeit with a lot more purple and gold. At the back were six doorways, each with a strange colourful piece of jewelry hanging above it. Five of the doorways were open, and large padded chairs were positioned in a row, facing the main entrance. One chair for each doorway, except for the one that was apparently occupied.

        Caleb looked around, unsure of what to do now. It didn’t look like there was anyone staffing the building. The walls were lined with small flat screens that were shielded from unfriendly eyes via purple cubicle walls. Caleb figured that was a good place to start. He took a seat at the nearest screen. A panel in the desk in front of him rotated, revealing a small keyboard and trackball mouse. Caleb pulled out his phone and began texting his good friend David.

Caleb: Alright, I’m here. So what am I doing now?

David: Celestia says to just make your account on one of the terminals.

David: Also use this: UBEB7712

Caleb: Some kind of friend referral code?

David: Yes. It’s good for a free week I think

David: Got a name yet?

Caleb: No, I don’t even know how that works.

David: Don’t worry, Celestia will probably give you one, then.

        Caleb shrugged and began fiddling around in the computer’s interface. In the center of a pure white screen was a small button labeled ‘Begin’. Caleb clicked on it, and a large white window gilded with purple and gold bled into view. It was pretty impressive compared to what he was used to, very fluid liquid effects. Some empty portions were filled in with happy ponies doing cutesy happy things. Caleb pressed on.

Welcome to the Equestria Experience

Equestria Online is the first game of its kind! Enjoy a rich detailed world catered to your specific needs and interests! Go on epic undertakings, cultivate in depth relationships, or both! We sincerely hope you find your time with us to be incredibly satisfying, and look forward to enriching your life through friendship and ponies! ~ Princess Celestia

[CREATE ACCOUNT]          [MANAGE ACCOUNT]

        In between the Account options was a small circular frame of gold. A white pony with a horn and wings was poking her head out, her face frozen in a wink. The image was animated to an extent, as her mane waved gently on the screen. Based on the crown she was wearing, Caleb could only assume this was meant to be Princess Celestia. He clicked the Create Account button.

Account Creation

In order to get your adventure in Equestria started, we're going to need some information. We take your personal security very seriously. You may rest assured that your private information will not be used unlawfully.

Name

[First]     [Middle]     [Last]

Social Security Number (SSN) *

[   ] - [  ] - [    ]

Gender

Male [ ] - Female [ ] - Unspecified [ ]

We understand that this issue is a matter of extreme personal value, and pivotal to identity. A player's avatar is based on this decision, and we strongly encourage you to select the option you are most comfortable with!

A selection of unspecified will lead to a small questionnaire to assist us in satisfying your needs.

Date of Birth

[Month]     [Day]     [Year]

During the last 14 months, have you been unable to work because of illnesses, injuries or conditions that have lasted or are expected to last at least 12 months or can be expected to result in death?

Yes ( ) - No ( )

[CONTINUE]

*We apologize for any inconvenience this request may present. Due to national and state healthcare and insurance laws, we are required to collect this information in the event of a potential upload. We appreciate your willingness to cooperate!

        That was some pretty personal information. Caleb was starting to feel like he was filling out a government form, more than an account application. He dutifully handed away his information, but lingered over the gender field, a bit of agitation creeping into his otherwise pleasant mood. He hated it when games would base your in-character gender on your real life gender. Where was the freedom of expression? Maybe some people just didn’t like staring at the male character models all day? An aesthetic choice should not be governed by such a thing. That said, at least the game offered the choice of ‘whichever one preferred’, instead of trying to be subtle and force players to play their own sex, so as to avoid pissing off any flirtatious nerds. Caleb frowned and selected Female from the options presented.

        The next window requested residential information, with a small disclaimer stating that they could only upload residents of Oregon, Vermont, and Washington. Residents of Montana who were out of state could upload with a doctor’s recommendation. Caleb had been living in Oregon for at least a year now, and filled in Greg’s address for the rest of it.

        Following that, there were pages and pages of personality profiling questions. Caleb rolled his eyes and answered each of them as honestly as he could. Although some of them seemed to have no answer he was satisfied.

        “Oh my god... I am so done with these stupid personality profiles!” Caleb groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

We understand that some of these questions can be frustrating to a discerning mind, but any information is helpful information! Please try to answer these questions with whatever answer resonates the most with you! ~ Princess Celestia

        Caleb stopped and looked around for a microphone, something for him to speak into. He didn’t see anything. He apprehensively closed the pop-up and continued the surveys without complaint.

        Thirty minutes later, the application process seemed to finally be coming to a close. Caleb clicked okay on the last of the pages, and a new screen was brought up:

Results

Thank you for your cooperation! Based on the information given, as well as other factors, we have determined that your values are as follows:

Compassion, Authenticity, Sincerity, Intuition, Stewardship, Fellowship

Do you agree with what we have ascertained?

Yes ( ) - No ( )

        Well, that seemed apropos enough. Those things were important to him, but then, shouldn’t they be important to everyone? He clicked yes, and hoped this ordeal would soon be over.

Individualization

Based on your characteristics, we would like to make the following recommendations to you!

Suggested Names

( ) - Autumn Mistral

( ) - Cadance

( ) - Calliope

( ) - Diamond Dust

( ) - Rhapsody

( ) - Soaring Heart

( ) - Sweet Drop

( ) - I'd like to submit my own name!

We apologize to those interested in questing for their names. This lead to some loss of immersion with current residents of the universe, and was replaced with this model. We believe you will find this system much more efficient, and if you remain unsatisfied with you name you may always have it changed later!

Based on your profile, we have formulated an opinion on what would be the best pony type to satisfy your values. You are free to select the option that you feel is optimal. Our suggestion is in BOLD.

[Earth Pony]  -  [Pegasus]  -  [Unicorn]

Please keep in mind that your selection will be quite fixed, and unlikely to change through play. In most cases being something else will require a fresh start. Choose carefully!

        Well... That was a pretty hit or miss list. Some of them actually sounded okay, others... Soaring Heart? Really? He knew this was a game about magical horses, but he couldn’t help but feel the herding was a tad excessive. He stared at the list in consideration for awhile.

He could just submit something of his own, but coming up with a good pony name would be hard. Finding something with the right flow and meaning would be hard. He could always just pick one of these names until he found one that really fit, right?

        His eyes nearly lit up in epiphany. For someone who cared about a name with the right sound as much as meaning, Cadence was a pretty good option! Caleb frowned, or apparently Cadance. He selected the option and shrugged. Sometimes he was off by a letter with words, it wasn’t too big a deal.

        The race selection required a bit more thought. Hovering his cursor over each option showed a small floating window with the species in question, along with a short explanation. It looked like Earth Ponies had a lot to offer, socially. Their resilience and affinity with the world around them made it possible to keep going for longer periods of time. They also had a seemingly more esoteric quality. Strength and purity of heart.

        Pegasi were by far the most mobile, and had the most options of any character when it came to places to explore. They were also responsible for the weather, which as far as Caleb was concerned, was a bit like having an interesting race-only craft.

        Unicorns were the spellcasting class/race, and he barely paid them any thought, really. This was a social game, and he wanted to play a social character. His eyes lingered on Earth Pony for a long while, but eventually he decided on Pegasus, like the game suggested.

        With that out of the way, the game popped up another screen congratulating him—or apparently her—on his selections. Now all that was left was to determine colouring.

        A colour scheme application was included in the window to aid him in his decision, along with little options for additional features. Caleb selected Polychromatic and Flourish from the list. Which apparently forced his colour wheel option into Accented Analogic. At the far right side of the screen, a young pegasus mare appeared. Caleb had never seen the show, but assumed that it must have followed a similar style, the detail and animations were impressive. He blinked, and the mare blinked. He looked around, and so did she. As he began to fiddle around with the hue and saturation sliders, she would dutifully inspect limbs.

        It seemed as good a time as any to make a pink character. So Caleb dragged the primary colour dot in that direction, the analog sliders followed in relation to its movements. He ended up with a pretty pink pegasus pony with a mane in fuchsia, purple, and yellow. The flourish option gave a few of the feathers in her wings some of the purple colouring in her mane, and that was actually pretty cool. Caleb smiled smugly, and the pegasus unfolded her wings, smiling with the same expression while she inspected them.

        Now about that mane...

        Caleb didn’t even have to do anything, the pegasus in the window seemed to have a mind of her own as it sorted through mane and tail types. With each result his expression changed slightly. With some results the mare would appear contemplative, with others she would shake her head, and with a few she even rolled her eyes. Caleb couldn’t tell if she was playing off of her reactions, or if she was playing off of his. Either way it was incredibly impressive. He was starting to get a good feeling about this game.

        Finally they found a combination that suited their interests. Caleb nodded to himself, and ‘Cadance’ fell onto her haunches and clapped her front hooves together once, an expression of excitement was on her face.

        The next and final screen requested payment information and other details. Caleb put his card information in just in case, along with the code David had given him earlier. The terminal congratulated him creating his account, spat an account login of apparently random numbers and letters at him, and requested a new password.

        Caleb put the last details into his phone and finished the process.

Congratulations!

You have completed your account and are now ready to participate in an experience only Equestria Online can offer! Whenever you are ready, you may take a seat in one of our Interface Seats and log into your account!

Once again I would like to thank you for your patience. If you have any issues feel free to address me in the game, though I strongly encourage you to first try and solve any problems you might have with the magic of friendship!

~ Princess Celestia

        “Alright then, time to actually play the game.” Caleb slipped his phone back into his pocket, and moved away from the terminal. The screen flickered off and the keyboard and mouse returned to their original places. The amount of money these people had invested in motion sensors was certainly impressive.

He looked around for a safe place to store his bag. A set of cubby holes with thick glass shielding were not very far from the main entrance. Caleb approached them and looked for a button, or some means of depositing money. Instead the glass blocking off one of the larger holes slid open. He shoved his messenger bag inside and the shielding slid back into place.

        Whoever had been occupying the sixth chair still hadn’t left, but Caleb paid it no mind. Unburdened of his belongings, Caleb climbed into the first chair.  A glowing, slightly translucent screen hovered in front of his face. It depicted the Equestria Online logo, including a portrait shot of Celestia.

        “Um...” Caleb shook his head. This was all starting to look like a bit much. Holodisplays? Motion sensors everywhere? Is it possible that for once, David was being serious? He looked around in earnest for a means to enter his account information. There was a flash of light, like an old camera, then the screen flickered and changed.

Good Afternoon, Cadance!

        Caleb rolled his eyes.

We estimate that you have one week of available free play left. Once this period expires you will be charged the normal rate, which can be selected from the following list:

Rates

Hourly Rate: $4.00

Day Pass: $16.00

7 Day Pass: $48.00

28 Day Pass: $100.00

Please say "I would like to begin my session," when you are ready.

        What, really? How was anyone supposed to be able to afford that? Caleb grumbled. It wasn’t that unreasonable, really, given the state of the place. It was probably much cheaper to play it on whatever David was using.

        “I would like to begin my session now.” Caleb muttered in reply.

        The chair immediately began to rotate, then recline. It slowly marched toward the door which now stood open. Caleb experienced a wave of vertigo, much like he would on a roller coaster during its ascent. The threshold was behind him, and then everything was dark.

        Reality faded out, and was replaced with something else. Vibrant colours swirled into perception, like floating up from a dream. The trees in the area were each unique, massive oaks right out of a cartoon. Sitting in the center of the clearing was a pink pegasus mare, exactly like the one Caleb had created earlier, except a bit more life-like. Her body moved with each breath, and her eyes fluttered open when Caleb blinked.

        Cadance took in her surroundings, then looked herself up and down before smiling. “Okay… That’s just cool.”

        The little pony jumped into the air, her wings extending and ready to take her away from whatever dangers had startled her so. But the source of terror and confusion was her own high feminine voice, speaking perfectly naturally, and with zero delay compared to Caleb’s own thought and comment. She slowly floated back to the ground, her chest rising and falling with deep breaths.

        It was without question the most immersive experience Caleb had ever seen, though there were a few unsettling qualities. He was not staring out through Cadance's eyes, but watching on from some third person perspective. The mare merely mimicked his own motions almost before he could express them. A means of interface beyond that seemed unnecessary. Caleb idly considered where his stats might be located, and a small display showed up, the mare blinked at it thoughtfully, an expression of surprise on her face.

Character Sheet

Name: Cadance

Race: Pegasus

Home Point: ???

Location: Hollow Shades

Generosity: ||

Honesty: |

Kindness: ||

Laughter:

Loyalty: ||

Magic: ||

Special Talent

???:

        Each of the measured traits had a large column that extended from one end of the screen to the other, and presumably was filled in as each trait was developed. At the moment Cadance had very little filled in, a couple of pink lines were illuminated in some traits, and two of them were absolutely empty. Apparently even the game thought she was humorless, or he was humorless, whatever. Cadance rolled her eyes.

        Sunlight streamed down from the sky above, but beyond the clearing the forest had a dark twilight atmosphere, and wisps of light could be seen through the branches. Cadance took a few tentative steps forward, tripped over her hooves, and tumbled into a tree. The pegasus mare winced, and Caleb was pretty sure even he could feel that tumble. Cadance’s eyes opened in a tired expression and she groaned.

        The method of control required some degree of mental gymnastics on Caleb’s part, he need only will the mare to get back up onto her hooves, but movement took conscious thought. Caleb tried to imagine what it would be like to walk with four legs, and the game seemed to accept that. Cadance made her way down a narrow trail into the trees and let out a sigh of relief. Her eyes scanned the forest surrounding her for any sign of predators, but she was otherwise unafraid, few monsters would aggro on sight this close to the starting point.

        Then she heard a rustling through the branches above. Without consciously deciding to Cadance jumped back and adopted an aggressive stance, ready to buck at her assailant at a moment’s notice. A blur of vanilla white and lilac tumbled down through the branches with a yell. The pegasus pony hit the ground with enough force to make the forest shake.

        Cadance darted forward, her voice filled with worry. “Hey! Are you alright?!”

‘That’s stupid, of course he’s alright’ Caleb thought to himself, but didn’t feel any less invested in the character in his own right.

        The colt rose to his hooves and dusted himself off. He was only a tad smaller than Cadance, and had a white cream coloured coat, a light purple mane, and vibrant pale green eyes.

        “Yes. Yeah, I’m fine.” He stretched and a few popping sounds came from his wings. “Learning to fly is hard!” The colt stopped and stared at her. “And who are you?” His eyes narrowed dangerously. “Friend or foe?!”

        Cadance took a few steps back and fell onto her haunches, her wings unfurled slightly. “Um… Friend?” She stared back at the pegasus apprehensively, ready to flee if need be.

        The colt stared at her awhile longer, giving the distinct impression he was looking at things Cadance couldn’t see. Then he eyes lit up and he charged forward. “Ha! I knew it! You must be new here!” He immediately began violating Cadance’s and Caleb’s collective personal bubble, looking her over.

        “Yes, I am pretty new to the area.” Cadance added the last part both seemlessly and automatically.

        “Uh huh. So are you actually a mare or what?” The pegasus tilted his head so to get a visual on Cadance’s underside. Her eyes went wide, the one on the left even twitched slightly.

        Caleb barely had to think, and one of Cadance’s forehooves lanced out and struck the colt right on the side of the face. He was sent tumbling before coming to rest against a tree.

        Cadance took a deep breath, ruffled got her wings sorted, and replied. “Yes. I am.”

        “What the HAY was that for!?” The pegasus lept to his hooves and rubbed at his eye gently. “I was just asking! Do you know how many colts try to pretend to be fillies even with that stupid…” His lips struggled but he seemed incapable of continuing his thought.

        “I don’t see how trying to look down there is supposed to help you find me out!” Cadance aggressively replied, taking a few angry steps forward.

        “Yeah well, whatever. I hope you get lost in these woods for days!” The colt stuck out his tongue before lifting into the air. “It would serve you right!”

        Before Cadance could reply to that, the younger colt flew back up through the leaves and out of sight. She stretched her own wings and looked at them, but there were two problems with that idea. The first was that she didn’t know how to fly, and the second was that she didn’t really think he was worth pursuing. Cadance grumbled and continued down the trail.

        “Oh yeah… This game is right up my alley alright.”

        The interesting thing was, in spite of that first contact, it kinda was. Cadance admired the swirling will-o-wisps as they danced among the trees. The illusionary atmosphere of late evening was at once mysterious and relaxing. Caleb could hear things, like the faint trickle of water in the distance, and smell things, like the grass Cadance was cushing underhoof. He was a bit distracted and disoriented by the fact that he couldn’t feel anything. And the third pony perspective ever gnawed at his immersion. It kept him separate, which was something that was increasingly upsetting to him. He wasn’t sure how he should feel about that. Discontent over not being the pink pegasus was not one of his saner thoughts.

        Cadance’s ears flicked, and Caleb could hear humming in the distance. It was soft and feminine, but didn’t sound much older than herself, or Cadance’s self. She shook her head and sprinted off into the trees and away from the trail. Movement having long ago become intuitive.

        Another clearing—this one somehow still covered by the dense canopy overhead—and that enchanting darkness. Sitting by a whispering brook was a peach coloured earth pony with a scarlet mane and tail. She looked to be about as old as Cadance, but she looked… Older, somehow. It was in the way she carried herself, the showy way her tail and mane had been brushed to curl just slightly at the ends. Her eyelashes were long and expertly curled. Cadance looked down at herself and grimaced, compared to the other mare she felt like an outrageous example of tomboyishness. Especially with the twigs sticking out of her mane and tail from the earlier tumble.

        “Hello?” Cadance called out before trotting out of the thicket. “I… hope I’m not interrupting or anything. You’ve got a very nice… humming voice?” Caleb winced, and the action was mirrored by his pastel proxy.

        “Hm?” The mare turned her head to regard Cadance, her eyelids opened to reveal a pair of deep purple eyes. She just seemed so… tropical, it was hard to imagine a mare like this in, well, a forest like this.

She was surrounded by Hibiscus flowers of a deep red, they matched the red of her mane almost perfectly. A clipped flower was carried gently in her teeth, she bent her neck over a small hoofwoven basket and dropped the blossom inside.

        “Oh. Hello, I’ve never seen you in the village. Are you new or just visiting?” She turned and faced Cadance, rising to all four hooves. Her tail swished and flicked behind her.

        “Heh,” Cadance giggled nervously. “You’re actually the second pony to ask me that, so I guess it must be obvious.” She shook out her mane and combed an errant twig free with a hoof. “I’m Cadance, and I’m new.”

        The mare’s eyes lit up and she emitted a small squeal of joy. “What a nice name! Most pegasi go with something weather related, especially the newer ones! I can’t tell you how many mares I’ve seen passing through with names like Thunderhead, or something ominous like that!” The mare trotted forward and held out a hoof in greeting. “My name is Hibiscus Fields! I’m from the village nearby!”

        “Nice to meet you,” Cadance replied politely. “So what are you doing all the way out here?”

        “Oh you know, just hanging out!” Hibiscus gestured to the basket at her side. “I’m gathering flowers for my tea shop! It’s pretty relaxing work if you want to help!”

        “I’m not sure I’d know how to do that,” she looked down at her hooves. “I’m really really new.”

        Hibiscus’s eyes widened. “Oh. Oh!” She practically danced forward and enveloped Cadance in a hug. “That’s not a problem at all! I can help you figure things out a little!” She winked at Cadance. “I’ve been living here my whole life. Don’t worry, Princess Celestia told us all about some new ponies who might be wandering into Equestria! We are most certainly willing to lend you our patience!”

        Cadance trotted over to the side of the river. The water was clear as crystal, and looked quite refreshing. Caleb idly thought about how nice it would be to take a sip, and Cadance followed through. Caleb didn’t taste a drop, however. A small message informed him/her that it was very refreshing, and that Cadance was feeling better for the experience. Caleb felt a twinge of jealousy.

        “... How do I start?” Cadance replied with a distant tone to her voice.

        Hibiscus clapped her hooves together excitedly, and let out another squeak. “First we’re going to get you some blossoms of your own! Then we can use some of the things in my bag to brew our own cups of tea!”

        Hibiscus nudged her way through a pair of saddlebags with a hoof, then pulled out two matching tea kettles of polished copper, as well as another woven basket.

        “Just do what I do, and try to be gentle! We don’t want any of these flowers to go to waste. They’re our friends too, right?” Hibiscus spoke consistently in a happy sing-song voice that expertly lifted Cadance’s spirits and enthusiasm.

        “Yeah, definitely!” She couldn’t help but giggle in reply.

        Cadance watched Hibiscus work for a few minutes. The mare was like an expert or something. It was hard to imagine anything more efficient at harvesting flowers. Her own first attempts were apprehensive, and far less sure. She reached out with her mouth and tried to nip at the stem with enough force to clip the blossom free, all while her new friend hummed softly beside her.

        The first attempt ended up crushing the blossom, and scattering petals everywhere. Cadance looked down at her hoofwork in horror.

        “I’m sorry!” She whispered to the plant quietly.

        Hibiscus laughed demurely, placing a hoof over her mouth. She crouched over the damaged flower and breathed on it. Steam and warmth billowed out like she was a living teapot, the plant seemed to respond almost immediately. New growth replaced the old, and the damaged blossom and stem were already sinking slowly into the ground.

        “It’s fine. Honestly these things don’t normally grow around here anyway, they’re here because I’m here.” Hibiscus beamed proudly. “It’s part of my special talent!”

        “Special… Talent?” Cadance reflected on her old status screen, and how she had only a ??? listed under it.

        Hibiscus nodded, “Yes, the more you hone it, the more things you can do with it! When I first learned my special talent I could only grow these flowers.” She gestured with a hoof. “But now I can use them to make tea, and I’m not even limited to just them! It’s part of growing as a pony!”

        “That sounds kind of nice… How do you get a special talent?”

        Hibiscus smiled sadly at her. “You don’t really get one. You find one. Or it finds you, that’s what Mom always says.” Hibiscus rolled her eyes and flashed a smug grin. “Why don’t you give this another shot, okay?”

        Cadance nodded, and began nipping at stems again. She was still an absolute brute compared to Hibiscus, but she was getting the hang of using her mouth. She tossed her second blossom into the basket when Hibiscus interrupted her.

        “Okay, that’s enough for what we’re trying to do at least.” She placed another blossom in her own basket. “I’ll go get some wood, and we can get a fire going!”

        Cadance nodded dumbly. “Should I just wait here?”

        “Yeah! Keep an eye on the flowers, I’ll be right back!”

        Cadance did as she was told, and watched Hibiscus scamper off into the trees.

        The other mare hadn’t returned for several minutes, and Caleb and/or Cadance was starting to get bored. She let out a yawn and curled up in the grass by the stream. The room filled with the strong scent of flowers, and Caleb sneezed. Cadance of course sneezed in kind. It was becoming easy to take the game for granted at this point. The sounds and scents were too vivid, and the reactions too precise. Cadance lay her head down in the grass, and Caleb felt nothing at all.

        “I’m back!” Hibiscus gave a muffled shout, and Cadance’s eyes flew open. Hibiscus spit the assortment of branches out onto the grass and smiled. “Getting sleepy? I bet you must be exhausted after traveling from… wherever it is you’re from.” Hibiscus frowned. “Where are you from originally, anyway?”

        “It’s complicated,” Cadance replied.

        “Oh… Well what about family, do you have family?”

        “Yes,” Cadance paused and considered that. It was probably a good idea to stay in character. Did Cadance have a family? The pink mare looked down and away from Hibiscus. “I mean no… Not really.”

        Hibiscus seemed confused, but genuinely accepting. “I’ll take you to my parents after this, you can stay with us for a while, okay?”

        Cadance nodded in reply. “If you think that’s okay.”

        Hibiscus was already propping up some sticks with which to hang the tea kettle. “It’ll be fine, they love houseguests.” She scooped up some of the water with the kettle and then set it to hang above the pile of sticks. Cadance was honestly surprised the construct could bear the weight. Apparently Hibiscus’s special talent had applications in engineering.

        “Now we just need to get a fire going…” Hibiscus rummaged through her bag again, and emerged with a long piece of flint from the depths. “This is pretty tricky, so just watch me this time.”

        Cadance nodded, and the other mare used one hoof to prop the slab up at a diagonal angle, then using her other hoof, she struck the stone with a loud scraping sound. Sparks erupted from the stone and rained down on the dead and dry twigs. Hibiscus crouched over the nascent flame and blew on it carefully. A full fledged fire soon came into existence.

        Cadance watched all of this with an expression of wonder. Sure it was vibrant, and wonderful, and cartoony, but at the same time it seemed so… Authentic.

The flame danced and licked at the kettle for several minutes, and Cadance stared at it as though hypnotized. Hibiscus was content to let the silence reign, and pulled a couple of tea cups from her saddlebags. Finally steam began pouring from spout of the kettle, accompanied by a faint whistling sound, Cadance’s ears flicked.

        Hibiscus sat on her haunches, then lifted the stick propped through the kettle’s handle off the rack, setting it down in the grass. She poured some of the boiling hot liquid into her cup, then without thinking, began to offer the kettle to Cadance with her mouth.

        Cadance had absolutely no idea what she was doing. She tried to accept it from the other mare the same way she had picked it up,but she had no grace for such things. The kettle crashed to the ground and spilled over. Cadance jumped, flailing her hooves out of the way of the boiling liquid, and landed one of them right into the fire.

        “Oh god… I’m so sorry!” Cadance looked down at the overturned pot with dismay. Hibiscus wouldn’t take her eyes off of the fire.

        “Cadance…”

        “... Yes?

        “Cadance!” Hibiscus tackled her, and pinned her down several feet away.

        “Hey!” Cadance looked up with pleading eyes. “I said I was sorry!”

        Hibiscus stared down at her with a mixture of fear and shame. “You really couldn’t feel it, could you?”

        “Feel what?” Cadance looked around, then stared down at the hoof she had accidentally shoved into the fire. There were singed hairs and a nasty mark. Nothing graphic though, this wasn’t that kind of a world. Her ears lowered. “No… I didn’t.”

        Hibiscus frowned. “I’ve heard some of you outsiders can’t feel anything, it’s almost like you’re not really alive, you’re not citizens yet…” She shook her head. “Don’t you like it here?”

        Cadance sighed. “I don’t understand what you mean. Are you talking about uploading?” She clapped her good hoof over her mouth. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to break character…”

        Hibiscus just gave her a funny look, then began digging through her bags for something else. A few seconds later she came back with some ointment and bandages.

        “Here, this will help with the healing. In a couple of days you’ll be as good as new.” Some of her brightness returned. “It’s my own special blend!”

She dabbed at the burn gently with her hoof, and then wrapped the bandage around it. A quick bite at the end cut the bandage away from the roll. She went to work licking up and down its length, the bandage began to dissolve and fuse together.

        “There, that should take care of things.” Hibiscus frowned and wrapped her hooves around Cadance. “You… can’t feel this either, can you?”

        A small prompt appeared, informing Cadance that she could raise her Honesty or Kindness at this juncture. Hibiscus seemed oblivious to it. Cadance sighed and looked at the ground in shame. “No… I can’t feel anything.” The banner for Honesty flashed, then both banners disappeared.

        This was wrong, something so real felt… mocked, by that interface.

        “You could always be a citizen right? I bet you could ask Celestia right now! She doesn’t even need to be here! You’d just wake up later and you’d be able to feel everything!”

        Cadance’s tail twitched and she fidgeted in Hibiscus’s grip. “I’m sorry… I can’t.”

        She nodded, “It’s okay, you don’t need to decide right now. Let’s just back up and head back to my parent’s place, okay? We can get you a bath?”

        Cadance nodded quietly. Neither of the mares said a word while they remained in the clearing. A few minutes later the pair of them finished packing and made way for Hibiscus’s village.

_____

        Later that night, Caleb lay curled up beside Greg’s sofa. With a blanket and his bag as a pillow. A small beep informed him that he received a message on his phone.

David: So how did you spend your first day? Meet any cute mares?

Caleb: Kind of.

David: Seriously tho, how did you spend your first day?

Caleb: I spent almost all of it learning how to make tea with someone named Hibiscus Fields.

David: And? It was the coolest thing ever, right?

Caleb: Yeah…

Caleb: Actually, it kinda was.