To Dream as an Immortal

by stinkyFeet

Rating: mature
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Sad, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Nightmare Moon
Length: 4267

Luna's journey through the passage of time and the history of Equestria

What matters most to someone who lives forever? This is the story of Equestria's founding, the taking back of the world from Discord, and the building towards the paradise you see in Friendship is Magic. However, most importantly, it's the story of Luna learning about herself and the ponies she rules, and her eventual confrontation with Celestia.

Published 2013-08-18 22:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-10 01:17:04 UTC

Chapter 1 - Youth

My eyes search the distant horizon to the south, then the horizon to the north. The rest of my herd is asleep and it is my duty to keep watch. Everything here is serene. A cool gentle breeze carries only the scent of grass and meadow dew. The plains stretch out in all directions, with nothing to obstruct my view. My sister, Celestia, and the rest of my herd would, normally, never be safer. However, something is very wrong. My sister and I could feel it. Most ponies of the earth, like us, have an innate sense of the world around them. We can sense when a predator is approaching, which direction the earth is most verdant, or if there is a brushfire to be fearful of. We all feel as if there is a large brushfire barreling down just behind us.

At first, we did think it was a brushfire, and we ran from it. We ran all day and all night, but eventually the older members of the herd could not continue. It was Celestia's decision that we would rest and slow our pace to accommodate them, a choice I was glad I was not responsible to make. We kept that up for days and the danger did not lessen. We traveled a great distance over span of two moons, and the ever-present sense of danger only slightly diminished. Whatever it actually is that causes that fear, it's a force so vast and great that we can't comprehend it, a force that could be compared to the size of the earth. Hopefully, it won't be able to spread all the way to the frigid upper reaches of the north. Hopefully, we will outpace it to there.

This resting place, for all the danger that lurks beneath the surface, is still beautiful... peaceful. The grasses ripple in the wind, illuminated by a waning gibbous of the moon. The stars, softer in their light, stretch across the sky; Their existance a mystery, as are their effects on earth. The night offers a peacefulness the day cannot. It's brightness does not burn, but is restrained, only there if you look for it. The sky holds back, giving you room to think and time be introspective. However, the earth doesn't consider what the sky intends, so I stand watch for my sleeping herd.

It has been a long time since I have eaten or slept, but the gentle light and magic of the moon gives me strength. My sister and I need neither food nor sleep; We can be sustained by the celestial magic that also grants us our longevity. Celestia is replenished by the light and magic of the sun, and I, the light and magic of the moon. Normally, I wouldn't tax myself by going without rest or food, but the great danger is approaching and we need to travel as swiftly as possible.

The first tendrils of twilight crest around the horizon, and my sister awakes with a start. She glances my way approvingly, then stares off into the distant north. It's time for us to start moving again.

Fall passed into winter as we ran. The mild fall warmth turned to a bitter winter chill, worsened as we traveled into the colder north. Our winter coats have grown in, protecting us from the drop in temperature. Snow covers the landscape, making it more difficult to forage. It requires us to dig, slowing us. We have traveled as fast as we can, and our bodies are ragged.

It is Celestia's hope that whatever it is that's chasing us will not be able to survive the icy north as well as a pony can. It would not be the first time the two of us have resorted to such a trick. A long, long, time ago we traveled south to use the heat to protect us from dire wolves. Eventually, those monsters simply went extinct.

The vast nebulous danger to the south is strong, but even it, now, weakens in these harsher reaches. The concept of an end to our journey and a return to normalcy is a gift to our weary bodies and spirits.

There is, however, something odd about the path ahead. The clouds in the sky open up, allowing the sun's rays to shine down into a plain unmolested by snow. The rays themselves bend, as if focused by the sky above. The unnatural charge of magic in the air makes my hair stand on end. I neigh to get Celestia's attention and look in the direction of the hole in the clouds. She follows my gaze, shakes her mane in agitation, then heads back to the herd to lead them in a new direction.

The field is, unmistakeably, the domain of a unicorn. Unicorns are terrible creatures, with a spike protruding from their head for impaling their enemies. They have no concept of nature or how the world is supposed to work. They are solitary, afraid of each other's power, and driven only by greed and selfishness. They believe the laws of nature are to be bent to their will, without concern to other creatures. They wouldn't hesitate to harm us if we were to intrude upon their territory. We would have to go around.

It was night by the time we reached a place safe enough to rest. We had made it almost halfway past the unicorn's field. The youngest mare was tempted by the lushness of the grass in the unicorn's territory. She was tired of digging for dead mucky grass, like all of us, but Celestia inspires great loyalty and it never became a problem.

My task, again, is to protect my herd against the dangers of the night. The others are huddled together for warmth, but the harsh coldness seems oddly comfortable to me. I stand, alert and aware, despite the cold blusterous wind. The moon has not yet risen and the stars are blocked by a thick layer of clouds. However, over the unicorn's territory, the sky opens up, illuminating the secluded paradise with starlight.

Searching the creature's land for any sign of threat to us, I make out the outline of camouflaged unicorn spying on us. It would have escaped the notice of any other pony, but I could see very well, especially at night. He notices that I'm looking at him and a burst of wind swirls snow infront of me, blocking him from my vision for an instant.

When it passes, the proud unicorn stallion is plain in my view. His eyes are soft and kind, probably from living life without effort or hardship. He reaches down and chews some of his lush grass, as if to rub in my herd's predicament. He stands back up, letting me admire him, then he stands on his hind legs and neighs, focusing starlight to shine on his healthy powerful body. All my ponies are gaunt from our harrowing journey. Jealousy burns inside me. He abruptly startles, then lands back down and gallops off, running deep into his forbidden territory.

Why was it again that I consider his territory forbidden? He didn't seem wary of us. He was almost playful. If he could join us, we could probably survive much more easily in the north. In fact, he probably isn't even aware of the profound danger to the south, lacking earth pony senses. He's also probably very lonely, this far north of where unicorn's normally inhabit.

A tiny glowing pegasus, barely a few inches tall, abruptly reveals himself to me only a foot from my face. I have no idea how a creature like that was able to evade my sight. He winks at me and flies off, opposite the direction of the unicorn. I quickly wake a mare I know can do my task, and gallop off, following the pegasus, curious what such a creature wants to show me.

He stops, waiting for me, and I catch up to him. He winks at me, again, then vanishes. The same feeling I've felt coming from the south surges, coming from all around me. I don't wait around, and run off to warn my herd. Something bad is here.

The ground bulges in a line in front of me, and I trip over it. Grass and roots tangled together rip up from the snow covered bulge. They've been knitted together and form a giant tentacle. More tentacles of grass rip out of the ground all around me as I get up to run to my herd. A giant beast made of grass, with a maw of jagged stones, roars as it rises rises from the ground behind me. Terror fueling me, I run to Celestia.

It follows me.

The mare performed her task well and the rest of the herd was already running away. The hooftraks led into the unicorn's domain, directly away from the creature's bellowing. The unicorn's domain, itself, is lacking its previous enchantments, with snow and clouds reclaiming it. Celestia must of been terrified of the monster's bellows to lead the ponies through there.

My hungerless, tireless body easily catches up with my weary herd. I reach the front, behind Celestia, and keep pace with the stampede, moving as one. Despite my herd running as fast as they can, the monster catches up, smashing the ground behind us with its tentacles. It hits the weakest mare in the rear of the herd, causing her to stumble. I watch in horror as the monster lifts her to its mouth with its tentacles, and chomps down on her with its stone teeth. The grass demon rips her in two and chews, crushing her, with blood flowing down its face and intestines hanging from its teeth. Even while eating, the demon's stride did not slow, it was still right behind us.

It keeps killing the ponies at the tail of the herd. I dare not think of their loss of their life, only run. With only the fastest of our herd left alive, we move faster. Eventually, we do outpace it, leaving it far behind us, yet still pursuing us. I look around and there are only three of us left, me, Celestia, and a fit young mare who was well and truely exhausted.

It was probably the unicorn that cast that pegasus as an illusion, leading me to get the herd killed. What had just happened set in. I looked to Celestia, unsure what to do. I had known those ponies for most of their lives. Celestia looked hollow, devoid of life inside. It probably hurt her the most, knowing she was responsible for all the major decisions that lead to this point. I couldn't fault any of them though.

The demon climbs over the horizon and I know we can't take time to rest. I can feel the danger and evil that comes from the south and it is almost on top of us. We have been too slow. Celestia looks at me with tears streaming from her eyes, and begins to gallop to the north. The young mortal mare gets up to follow, but she cannot bring herself up to Celestia's pace. I look behind, trying to convey that I was sorry with my expression, but don't leave Celestia's side. The mare collapses, her spirit broken and with the monster catching up to her. I turn away and head towards the frozen north.

We outdistance the demon and the danger from the south. The world we run to is devoid of life or change, absolute in it's emptiness. Ice extends to every horizon in this barren wasteland. The evil danger that covers the rest of the world cannot sustain itself here. It is on this threshold we run and wait, monitoring to feel that evil fade. We run as years turn to centuries, and centuries turn to eons.

Chapter 2 - Self

Time passed, more than I could keep track of, yet my sister and I remained the same. The endless ice was meaningless. It had no strength to alter us. My memories stayed intact because there was nothing important enough to replace them. All I will remember from this time is my sister.

In the deep winter, the day does not come. Twilight brightens the sky only briefly, then retreats from the night. The moon is the only feature of the sky that brings light and warmth. It is during the long nights such as this that my sister suffers the worst.

My concern for Celestia has been growing. Her memories burn brightly and fill her otherwise empty life. I see her staring off, tears running down her cheeks then freezing. It wasn't her fault. No one has perfect foresight, but still, she claims responsibility because she sees herself as the leader. I nudge her backside and gallop off towards the east, challenging her to catch me. She gives a hearty whinny and we run towards the rising moon together.

I'm losing hope that the evil to the south will ever diminish. We have patrolled the threshold where that evil ends, the border between our frozen land and the land of the living, for longer than I could keep track of. Celestia should not live forever with the brutal killing of her herd as her last memory of the living world.

While we travel the border of the living world, I feel the presence of a herd of ponies, a large herd, though far away. Celestia and I come across such a feeling every once in a long time. However, it's always been a mystery. That mystery meant there was something we didn't understand about the world to the south, something unusual where ponies sometime survived. It was the only strand of hope I could find against the unwavering evil.

I halt where I sense the herd of ponies the strongest. When Celestia realizes that I'm no longer following her, she trots back and tries to get me to chase after her. Neither Celestia nor I could imagine living in this frozen world without the other. I refuse to follow, and she cocks her head inquisitively.

It's been so long I needed to use spoken language to communicate, but some ideas are too abstract. I couldn't help but feel dread over saying something that required such an unnatural form of communication. The spoken language, used to communicate to dragons, 'Draconic', was the language of creatures that would eat ponies. I would be breaking a natural order by using it to argue with Celestia. Did that mean I was in the wrong?

It took me a while to remember the correct words, and even then my language was imperfect. "The evil is never leave because of it's own will. We need confront it, change it, end it."

Celestia circles around me. When she speaks, the words come out smoothly, almost musically. "We are ponies, Luna, herbivores. We have neither fangs, nor claws. We run when there is danger. That is nature's intent."

Celestia always tries to maintain an aura of confidence, but I know her well enough to see the awkwardness of her gait, a twitch behind her ear. She is guided by fear, not conviction. "Then, Celestia, we need become predators. The evil is not natural. We are not rely on nature to end it. All of we protect now is empty lives."

Celestia shakes her head. "I will not risk losing you." She stands tall and I know the complete certainty of her conviction.

She gallops towards the east, but I do not move. She comes back and sits behind me. We stay there for a long time, sometimes sleeping while sharing warmth, but I show that I am adamant. Eventually, she nudges my backside and gallops south, challenging me to catch her. I give a hearty whinny and we run towards the strange herd ponies together.

I feel daunting fear and understand why Celestia was afraid. We are heading towards something unlike anything we've seen before.

Chapter 3 - Hypnopomp

A dragon darts through the sky, attacking cloud after cloud. He shreds through them, or dissipates them with flame. The blasts of fire resound for miles around. He fights frantically, without concern for rest or the alleviation of his starvation. As the second day of desperate fighting nears an end, he succumbs to exhaustion and falls to the earth. A few desperate flaps slow his decent and he hits the ground with a mighty thud.

My sister and I come out from hiding behind a rock to continue our journey past the dragon. His chest rises and falls with his still living breath. I can see how emacieted he is, it must have been centuries since he has last eaten. He has long since gone mad, forsaken his own well being to endlessly combat clouds, of all things.

I cannot imagine what could have happened to him, but take note to be wary of anything that could harm me in the same way. Dragons were unassailable creatures, with unmatchable ferocity combined with a daunting intellect. Dragons, as noble, wise, ancient, and strong willed as they are, for one to go mad is unheard of. We leave him far behind us in our journey, but towards what, we can't imagine.

My earth pony sense of danger still burns within me, but I cannot tell exactly what I should be afraid of. My sister has decided that I should take the lead, since I defied her. She wants to see me afraid, to endure punishment, but I know she is fearful as well. I try to hide my fear from her, but can she see the shortness of my breath or the hesitation in my gait? Every instinct tells me to flee, but in these snowy plains, I cannot discern any source of danger. I head endlessly towards where my senses tell me there are ponies.

The desert of permafrost gives way to living earth buried under a temporary blanket of snow. My hooves crush through the snow, and memories return of walking such terrain countless times before. The ice around the inside of my nose thaws and the scent of the frozen crisp air brings back memories of foraging for food. I look towards Celestia and see she has tears running down her face. I know what memory still harms her. The warmth loosens my joints and I feel like a chick breaking free from his shell. There is shrubbery in the distance I could eat, but I would not feel comfortable eating from this world.

I halt when I see a creature moving through the falling snow. It looks like a small rabbit, but there is no telling what danger such a creature poses in this new world. Was it also waiting to transform into a demon? I don't move as it forages for food, then hops out of sight. I give the signal and we make a break of it in the direction of the ponies.

There was no way that was an ordinary rabbit. This world is too full of danger for such a gentle creature to survive.

We near the source of the concentration of ponies, and I see the source is the territory of a unicorn. I can feel the charge of magic in the air. Tall wheat braves the cold climate inside the unicorn's territory. We would approach the border, to at least see inside more closely.

I approach through the open, and the ground beneath me suddenly gives way. I scramble to not fall into the deep hole. Fortunately, Celestia's jaws clamp down on my and tail, and she holds me back. I see at the bottom sharpened sticks eagerly awaiting to impale me. The trap, with a hole that large and deep, was capable of killing creatures much larger than myself.

I lead us closer to the unicorn's verdant territory, careful of each step. In the focused light of the sun, I can make out a pony. Judging from his size, he's probably just finished adolescence, slightly smaller than a full grown pony. He turns to me and I see the face of a fully grown and weathered stallion. His growth had been stunted. What malady afflicts him? What harm do the ponies endure under a unicorn? Our eyes lock and I see his widen in terror. He flees and I do the same. I follow our hoofprints, but I don't know how we'll proceed with the ponies.

I look upon my sister, and I understand the reasons for the pony's fear. We don't look like healthy ponies either, but starved and near dead. A pony desperate for nourishment could be dangerous, or the result of an affliction of the mind. We could have even been mistaken for wraiths or creatures beyond death.

My sister blocks me from retreating further. She leads us back to the unicorn's territory. We are to act as natural ponies, while on the border between the unicorn's land and our winter world. She digs into the snow, and we eat dead grass.

It was a dance we have performed a thousand times before, the act of simply becoming familiar to the members of another herd before they welcome us. They can chase us off or learn to accept our company. How much depends on us joining this herd, and would we be safe with them?

Eventually I spot a second pony. He's cutting and collecting the wheat at the edge of the unicorn's land. When he sees us, he quickly runs off, without even taking a closer look at us.

More ponies return and gather at the the border, but my sister doesn't have us retreat. We keep a safe distance, ready to run if it comes to that. One pony begins spinning a cord with his hoof.

An object flies from the cord, and I instantly understand my foolishness. I give the signal to run, and we make a break for it. Another stone strikes me from behind, and with no fat or muscle, it hits straight to the bone. I try to run, but I can't keep pace with Celestia. Further stones are falling all around us. Celestia slows and glances back at me, and a stone hits her in the leg. She collapses. I limp forward as the other ponies gain on us.

I stand over my sister as they surround us, these ponies who act as predators. They all have sharp antlers strapped to their heads and each pony carries a spear. I pin my ears back and bare my teeth. I have nothing to lose and my sister to protect. I screech and charge at the edge of the encircling ponies. I'll take them all on. I can pretend to be predator, too.

I rear, ready to bring my hooves down on the pony's faux antlers, and the pony brings his spear into my underside. I feel it tear inside me and throw me onto the ground. I lay in pain and defeat. I have trouble breathing and the worlds begins to fade. All I can think of is my sister.

The ponies are thrown away from me by a mysterious force and I begin to levitate off the ground. I see my sister floating beside me as I lose consciousness.

I wake on soft straw, but can feel that I'm restrained. It's warm. I feel warm. I can also smell fire. I awake with a start and struggle against my restraints. I hear a mare's voice call out the draconic words "Star Swirl!".

Prologue - Birth

In the beginning there was nothing, then that nothingness exploded. Chaos invaded the universe. At first, he was a single point, pure and perfect. However, he was not content. He knew he could be so much more, so he surged into the universe around him. He rushed out in all directions, overjoyed with the vastness that opened itself up to him. Unfortunately, as he expanded, he cooled. The concept was so foreign, he didn't even realize it was happening.

As he cooled, two sisters were born inside him. They were 'Vacuum' and 'Light'. They pulled and they pushed at each other, depending on complex rules they followed. They took Chaos, who was pure and free, and bound him with rules everywhere, turning him into bosons and fermions and vacuum.

By this time, it was too late for Chaos to slow his lustful expansion. The rules set by the two sisters forced him to expand outward still, causing him to become even colder. Vacuum and Light pulled and pushed themselves into atoms, then stars, and eventually galaxies, forcing Chaos into order. He saw, that if things continued as they were, he would end up spread so diluted over space, at so cold a temperature, that he may as well not exist at all.

However, on a strange little planet, third from its star, a glimmer of hope presented itself to Chaos. It was life. Each life a myriad of chaos in not only three dimensions, but in dimensions such as happiness and sorrow, anger and love. He dived into this strange world, overjoyed with the vastness that opened itself up to him.

Chaos's eagerness made the two sisters curious about the world as well. They decided to follow and observe the strange world. Light stationed herself inside its sun, and Vacuum stationed herself inside its only moon. They decided on two earth ponies who they would watch the world through.