Ponylands

by Blinky Writer

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Trixie, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Crossover, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Main 6
Length: 3542

The Cutie Mark Crusaders listen to Pinkies epic tale of treasure hunting

A Rainy day has trapped the Cutie Mark Crusaders in the Library, So Pinkie decides to tell the a story about a far away place where ponies stand on two legs and drive cars, shoots guns and find legendary treasure. Follow along as Pinkie tells from them opening the mysterious Vault, To fighting zombies and the Insane Dr. Flootershy (Not Dr. Fluttershy wearing a mustache), To Mad Trixxie's Underdome, And much more....

Note from Author: Thanks for your replies, I am amazed that this is really popular and I hope I don't disappoint. A word of warning that since they are characters of Pinky, they might be different then you expect.

Also Fanart by AppleDash: http://lellcious.deviantart.com/art/AppleBrick-287076295

UPDATE: A challenger appears BRANDISHING THE SAME COVER. While mine is a story, his is an Alternate Universe sort of deal. Check him out: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/12536/Ponylands

Published 2012-02-23 19:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-12 07:12:40 UTC

Prologue

Prologue

The pitter-patter of rain splattered the bark of the Ponyville Library where 3 depressed fillies were staring out the window as the thunder flashed from a freak storm from the Everfree. They sighed in unison; Sweetie Bell’s voice calling out “Twilight, How long until the rain is going to stop?”

The Purple Librarian of Equestria replied without looking out from her book, “No Idea, Why don’t you girls go read a book?”

“But we only do that at school and it’s BORING!” Scootaloo replied dully

“You girls can always find a good story, maybe one that...” Twilight said, suddenly interrupted by a Pink head popping out of the Vase. “OOHHH! I KNOW A SUPERIFIC AMAZINGTASTIC STORY!” Pinkie cried out happily, grinning ear to ear.

“Pinkie? How did you get in here....?” Twilight questioned, before suddenly ducking as pottery flew everywhere as the rest of Pinkies body came out. Just as Pinkie said “On the Great Space Coa...” Twilight interrupted Pinkie this time with “Nevermind....”

“Wha’ kind of story is it Pinkie? Does it have Adventure?” Applebloom asked, walking up to Pinkie

“Romance?” Sweetie Bell added

“Robots!?!” Scootaloo asked

“Yep! Let me tell you a story about 4 player online Role Playing Shooter with Lots and Lots of Guns, Tons of Meanies and Treasure! It also had 4 expansions!” Pinkie said with glee.

Twilight hesitated but let Pinkie continue. “First off, The Characters in this have in no way resemble ponies in real life or made by Hasbro. Second, This is game is owned by Gearbox and I am just a fan” Pinkie rambled on, The Cutie Mark Crusaders giving each other weird looks from not understanding what Pinkie was saying

“So... You want to hear a story... Huh... How about Treasure Hunters? Ahaha... Have I a story for you... Pandora... This is our home, but make no mistake... This is not a planet of Peace and Love... We say it’s a wasteland, that it’s dangerous, that only a fool would search for something of value here... Then Perhaps I am a fool... But do not be fooled by what Pandora appears to be... There was a legend, many ponies tell it, The Legend of the Vault! My father would always go on about the vault, even with his dying breath... Advanced Alien Technology, Infinite Wealth, Fame, Power, Mares... So you can understand why some little fillies would hear the stories and grow up to be Vault Hunters. Well, I have a story you might not believe, but it is true, The Legend of the Vault is real and on Pandora... and well... Let’s call it a Guardian Angel, Appeared to guide the Vault Hunters to their Prize. The tale begins here, on Pandora, with the brave Vault Hunters, The Guardian Angel and most importantly... Pinkie...”

-Cue Intro Music-

A dusty covered road is shown after a brief screen of white, a broken down sign that said “Welcome to Pandora” lies to the left side of the road. One of the panels on the top row fell off changing the sign to Pando_a as a Dog like creature crawled from under another gap in the sign.

“I’ve been walking down the street, when out the corner of my eye, I saw a pretty looking thing come up to me. She said I never seen a man who looked so alone, could you use some company?”

The Mutated dog critter ran on to the road and looked around, suddenly looking around when a metal plated bus came zooming by and hit the poor thing. The dead creature is dragged along the front of the bus as white words form saying:

A Blinky Writer presents

“If you pay the right price, your evening will be nice, and you can go and send me on my way. I said your such a sweet young thing, Why’d you do this to yourself? She looked at me and this is what she said. There ain’t no rest for the wicked, Money don’t grow on trees... I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed. There ain’t nothing in the world for free...”

The inside of the Bus had a Pudgy pink pony wearing a Orange suit “Okee Dokee Everypony back there... Time to shake those flanks and wake up! It’s another BEAUTIFUL day, Full of Opportunity!” She yelled to those in the back

“Not even 15 minutes later, after walking down the street, when I saw the shadow of a man creep out of sight”

The first out of the four in the bus was a Pegasus pony, light blue in colour with Rainbow mane and tail. Her head was covered in a leather helmet/mask that let her mane flow out the back in tight knots; goggles covered her eyes as she wore a leather vest with leather pants on. She carelessly tossed around a knife the length of her front hooves and caught it showing off her skills

Rainbowcai as “The Hunter”

“Then he swept up from behind, he put a gun up to my head. He made it clear he wasn’t looking for a fight. He said give me all you got, I want your money not your life. If you try to make a move I won’t think twice”

The second was a white Unicorn, Her mane was short and curled being that of a neon purple, her tail was longer with the same colour and curl. She wore a simple sleeveless khaki shirt and small khaki vest along with a normal pair of red jeans. She quickly phased out of existence before reappearing and giving an innocent look.

Rarith as “The Siren”

“I told him you can have my cash, but first you know I’ve got to ask what made you live this kind of life. He said there ain’t no rest for the wicked, Money don’t grow on trees... I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed. There ain’t nothing in the world for free...”

The third pony was a Purple unicorn had a long purple mane with a pink stripe that also carried over for her tail. She wore heavy clothing that was dark grey and covered most of her body except head, below her knees and tail. On her head she wore a grenadier cap with goggles relaxing near her horn and she also had a small bit of armour that covered her shoulder. She turned away and raised a hoof to protect her face from the other ponies there.

Rolight as “The Soldier”

Finally, hogging the back of the bus was a large orange pony. Her golden mane and tail were both tied into a pony tail and she wore a simple leather vest and pants with her hooves having small band of leather with bolts attached to the then. On top of her head was a cowboy hat. She slammed her front hooves together

And AppleBrick as Herself

The bus continues to roar down its path as up above, showing metal plates stamped onto it and a large cargo of crates up on top. The dog creature’s body tumbles to the side of the road as large white words are seen above.

PONYLANDS

Chapter 1: Welcome to Fyrehorn

“Next Stop, Fyrehorn Depot.” The Pinky pony called out grinning “Time to gather up your stuff! Who’s getting off the bus?”
The four passengers looked up, watching the Pink pony ramble on “Hey, You with the sniper rifle and the crazy mask! Are you a Truxican Wrestler moonlighting as a Dominatrix? Cause If you are, I got to show you this awesome Cherry Changa recipe I have...”

“Ya... Sure... Whatever you say...” Rainbowcai replied back, staring at the Pink pony oddly

“And you, Soldier mare? Aren’t those pieces of armor from the Solar Lance you’re wearing?” The Pink pony continued
Rolight looked away “I... I have no clue what you are talking about...”

The Pink ponies’ attention was soon lost as she continued “What about you Little Miss Pretty Mane? Can you bake us all a wonderful cake? Cause that would be Awesome! Of Course, I’m the best cake maker and baker in all Equestria, I mean, Pandora...”

“Thank you...” Rarith gave a fake smile, feeling more unsafe about being on the bus with somepony who seemed a tinge scatterbrained....

“And, You Beefstick in the back...” The Pink pony continued before hearing an angry snort “I’m not going to make fun of you... You do smell like apples and growl like my stomach during suppertime... Which is cool...” She finished hesitantly as she heard another angry grunt from the back.

“Anyway...” She continued to ramble on, now in a sort of educational manner “I have got some advice for you all... It’s tough out there, and you won’t be able to just beat up on whatever you please until you are ready... I mean, Sure you can take on those Nasty Wasty Bandits or find things in the wild, but equipment you buy from a Pinkus brand store is guaranteed...”
The passengers have seemed to ignore the driver as they waited for the stop to come. All of a sudden, a mystic sounding voice pierced the heads of the 4 Vault hunters. “Don’t be alarmed...” It said; a blurry image of a nighttime blue mare with a wavy, blue star-riddled mane appeared before them. “We need you to stay calm and don’t let everypony know you can hear us. Start making your way off the bus. You don’t have any reason to trust us, but we need you to believe we are here to guide you. We are here to help you find the vault. In a moment, you will be greeted by a funny little robot.” The bus finally stopped as the voice continued “Do everything it says. You’ll know what we mean when it happens. I’ll contact you soon again...” Before she disappeared...

The four stood up and stumbled to the front of the bus. The pink pony turned around to them “Well, We’re here... Don’t worry about saying goodbye, I’m sure we will be seeing each other very soon... Now a little tip won’t hurt...” She smiled smugly holding a hoof out.
Each of the 4 sighed and put a handful of bills in the driver’s hoof. When Pinkus opened her eyes, her smile went upside down at seeing all the bills “And not a single cupcake... Get out...” She grumbled as the 4 clambered out onto the wasteland with only their guns.

The four stared at the vast rocky wasteland and shotty buildings made from scrap metal. From the other side of the ancient pavement of a road, they spotted a Green and Purple robot with only one eye, weak looking limbs and a small wheel to drive around on “See you next time!” It shouted out in a robotic child like voice, waving at the bus.
Rainbowcai looked over at Rolight and whispered “Heh... I think I found Target practice...”

The little robot wheeled its way to Rolight, Rainbowcai, Applebrick and Ririth; giving a slight bow “Welcome to Fyrehorn. I am SP1K3-TP, but you can call me by my locally designated name ‘SpikeTrap’. Before continuing; Please accept these Echo Headsup display, provided free of charge by the Cohlt Corperation...”

The four took the displays and fitted them on as they started to see many different things. As it finished loading, the four took out there guns and followed the Spiketrap on their two hooves.

“Wait, wait, wait... ‘Their two hooves’ Pinkie?” Twilight questioned “How can they walk on two hooves?”

“They can in this world... It’s extremely hard to do it in real life but feels fun...” Pinky replied

“Also, Only Unicorns can use guns... How can Rainbow Da... I mean Rainbowcai and Appleja... Brick use them if they aren’t unicorns?” Twilight continued to ask

“Umm...” Pinkie thought “When they hit a certain button with a hoof, it fires?”

Twilight sighed “Nevermind...”

After going over the New-U station, a wonderful machine that clones your dead body, the four walked over to the gate where Spiketrap was opening a gate. Rainbowcai was holding a sniper in her hooves while Rarith cradled her SMG in hers. Rolight was looking around as she held the Shotgun in her hooves with AppleBrick holding an Assault Rifle in hers. A sudden revving sound was heard as the Spiketrap muttered “Is that... Oh no... RUUUN!”

The Spiketrap ran off to a small booth screaming as 4 vehicles jumped off an overhanging cliff and over the gate. The last vehicle showed off by spinning around before zooming off into the town. The SpikeTrap peeked out as the vehicle disappeared and sighed in relief, “Are they gone? Phew, those bandits have it really in for us SpikeTraps, Using us as target practice is not in our Programming...”

The little robot started hitting what looked like random buttons on the number pad by the gate and seemed quite frustrated. “You keep hitting the backspace button...” Rolight suggested before the Spiketrap looked at what it was doing.
“Ohh.... Then...” The Spiketrap started hitting the buttons again. “And... Open!” It proclaimed with arms swept to show the rusty iron gate opening up with a groan. The Spiketrap rolled underneath muttering “Oww...” as its antennae flex backwards then back upwards, swaying a bit.

“That piece o’ Scrap would serve better as bullets for my gun...” AppleBrick growled, bending low as they walked through the gate. Not even a second later, bullets whizzed past them. The four looked at the ponies aiming guns at them and fired right back. The odd Bandits were all sorts of colours, wearing masks that covered their faces and manes. No quicker did it begin that it ends with the four continuing on their way, ripping past more guys and collecting anything from the bodies.
“Heh... I just Love the green...” Rainbowcai smiled, looting the money off one of the ponies before sprinting to join her teammates. The four reached a large gate with a Red box nearby.

“You should open the box and use the loot to help defeat the bandits” Spiketrap replied before hitting keys again for the gate. Rarith went to the chest and opened it.

“A pistol? Just a single Pistol in here!” Rarith started complaining. Indeed, the chest contained only 1 pistol that was dull looking and worn out. AppleBrick and Rainbowcai had already stolen the ammo.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll find better loot...” Rolight comforted Rarith as Spiketrap started muttering “This doesn’t seem to be working... Come this way!”

The four muttered to themselves as they followed the Spiketrap under a small entrance way and over a few obstacles, dispatching more of the bandits. As soon as they stood what looked like actual homes and took care of the bandits roaming around, the Guardian Angel seemed to speak again “I knew you guys were the right choice, now go... I’ll talk to you guys soon...”

“Am I the only one hearing her or the rest of ya can hear her too?” Applebrick questioned

“No, I can hear her” Rolight confirmed

“Same here darling...” Rarith replied

“Wow, and I thought I was the only one going insane...” Rainbowcai chuckled

“Attention Residents of Fyrehorn! There is no need for alarm! The visitors have resolved the problem!” Spiketrap announced.

A quiet voice was soon fed through the Echo device “Oh, Great! I thought I was going to be a goner that time... Damn bandits wouldn’t leave us alone, so I had to lock up the place tight. I’ll let you in... Aww, Shoot... Dumb circuits are on the fritz again... If it would be no trouble at all, can you open it from out there?”

“Uhh... Sure.” Rolight said, hitting the button on the pad. The door started to open as the 4 ponies looked at a yellow Pegasus with pink hair wearing a grey steel chest piece, a dirty green shirt and a surgeons mask holding a weird saw with a circular saw on it. She raised the weapon to hack at the body in front of her...

Dr. Fluttershy

The Pegasus suddenly looked at the group and dropped her weapon to the side. “Oh, Thanks for opening it up. My names Dr. Fluttershy, but they don’t let me work on ponies anymore since I lost my licence. So I mostly keep the Med Vendors around here up and running.”

“Hello, were just wondering if there is anything we can do to help?” Rolight asked politely

“Since when did you become leader?” Rainbowcai questioned.

“We are supposed to work together and she does seem to have some leadership aura about her, unlike your dirty habits.” Rarith replied

Rainbowcai growled as Dr. Fluttershy replied to Rolight “Well there are a few things... I would recommend if you’re such do-gooders you can take care of a few annoying skags outside, Umm... Get a new power supply for my vending machine.... and that should be it for now...”

"Sure, We would be glad." Rolight answered, "I mean 'Not Dying' would be lots of fun, Right girls!?" Looking as Rainbowcai rolled her eyes and sighed.

The Spiketrap from before seemed eager to lead as it led to the gate "Now that were done with that, Please allow me to open the gate for you.

They walked past a graveyard made from loose boards and metal scrap when just before they reached the gate, another bandit bike roared past shooting at them. As the bandits clambered over the fence only to be met by return fire from Rolight, Rainbowcai and Applebrink; Rarith bent down to examine the broken robot. The mystery Blue mare appeared again speaking "I know you were the right ones, Ohhhh~ But that Poor little robot needs our help, would you kindly give him a hand?"

Rainbowcai laughed "Why should we? He is not at all important..."

Rarith responded, still crouching over the Spiketrap "He is the only one able to open the gate..."

Rolight was already coming back with the tools "Don't fret, I knew those tools would come in handy later. Now, Let me see..."

Both Rolight and Rarith crouched over the robot. Dr. Fluttershy's voicce popped over on the ECHO device "Well, You seem to have got under Nine-Toes skin. Don't worry, He'll have whats coming to him..."

Applebrick grunted in responce, Rainbowcai responded "I am going to be bothered by why his name is Nine-Toes all day, I know it...."

Rolight slammed the panel shut, "There done, Good as his state before this current state."

"Couldn't you say 'new' like every other pony?" Rainbowcai asked

The Purple Robot jumped up once again, Grabbing onto Rarith's butt to steady itself before wheeling around. "Ahaha! Good as new..." (Rainbowcai:"LIKE THAT, EVEN THE DAMN ROBOT CAN DO IT") "... I think? Am I leaki-WOAH-OH!" The robot screamed as it received the hoof from Rarith, flying into the control panel. As it gained it bearings, the gate opened up by itself.

Rolight commented "Guess we could have let the bugger rust..."

"And so the four went off, Killing weird butt ugly creatures that look like Mayor Mare coming out of the Shower and retrieving the fabled Power genera-" Pinkie continued the story

"Supply..." Twilight corrected

"Hey, This is my story. Alright? So they got the Power Supply and killed a few random bandits to piss Nine-Toes off . They were then told to meet someone out of town...."

"So were to meet this old fart?" Rainbowcai asked

"She is the only way to get to Nine-Toes. Just think of the loot we can steal off him, Bandit Lords must have good loot." Rolight offered

"Well as long as it...." Rarith started as they walked into the yard, only to have a gun pointed at them by an old blind green mare in a Tropical Tshirt sitting on a lawn chair.

G.S. Elppa

"Woah, Hold on there!"

"Take it easy!"

"Were here to help"

"Your Choice in clothing and weaponry is just so tacky!"

The other three turned there heads to Rarith who responded "Well it is!"

"You! One more step and It will be your last! Heh heh heh... You should have seen the looks on your faces!" The old mare went from angry to laughing.

"I thought that Doc said she was blind...." Rainbowcai muttered

"She is, Must be insane..." Rolight responded

"So, New in town eh? Gotta love the smell of Skag droppings out here~" The old mare teased

"Actually, We need to talk about getting to talk about offing a certain bandit..." The great leader explained.

"Well, I might be able to help...." G.S. went on, thinking

"Please no other stupid quest...." Rainbowcai chanted

"But I need some help first..."

"Please not a gathering quest, Please not a gathering quest...." Rainbowcai chanted harder.

"But the skags have stolen my food, Mind fetching it for me?"

"COME ON!"

(Authors notes: Yes, It took long to finish. I know the beginning is boring, But the action will pick up once we delve further [If I can]. I don't know if the ending feels rushed, But I wanted to get this chapter done. Feel free to hate or like)