EquREXtia

by Lady_Facepalm

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 1427

Breech sent him to this place. Why? Why was he a horse? What was that strange mark on his butt? And most importantly; WHY ARE THERE E.V.O.'s IN THIS WORLD?!

After being sent to this world by an E.V.O named Breech, Rex finds himself in Equestria as an Earth pony stallion. Along with trying to figure out what the heck happened to him, he also has to defend the ponies who live in this world from a person named Van Clise, and the E.V.O's that are being sent here to kill Rex. It's a good thing he can still use his Nanites, or he would be destroyed by everything this world has to offer.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-20 13:00:02 UTC

Breach'ed

   "Guys! I think we have a problem!" Rex, a young boy, was running for his life as a four armed E.V.O, as they liked to call them, chased after him. An earpiece gave him static before a young woman's voice came through.

   "Rex! Your biometric readings are extremely low! What did she do to you?" The woman named Dr. Holiday asked him.

   "Uhh well she put something on me while I was distracted by another E.V.O. Some kind of mechanical ankle thing, and whenever I touch it it shocks me hard!" Rex yelled back as he jumped over a truck. All of a sudden, a red and black portal opened up in front of him and four hands grabbed him. Breech chuckled as Rex struggled to get out of her grip.

   "Our leader designed it just for you Rex. Doesn't that make you feel special?" She whispered sweetly before laughing. "He also gave me instructions to send you somewhere special; somewhere Providence can't get you. Rex smirked at her.

   "Where are you gonna send me? I was already in your "dollhouse" and I still got out! I bet your gonna send me somewhere like it!" He said while smirking. The uncurable E.V.O laughed at him.

   "Oh Rex this is going to be an entirely different place, a different world. I hope you don't survive there." Breech began walking towards another portal before stopping in front of it. "And don't worry about being to bored, I'm going to send you some of my favorite "toys" for you." And with that thought, she submerged all of Rex but his head into the portal. Breech smirked and said the last four words he'd ever hear in this world.

   "You've just been Breach'ed." The last thing Rex remembered while on the other side of the portal, was falling headfirst into a bookshelf.

(*wonderful*/)

   "Spike. I'm warning you: don't touch that vase." Twilight Sparkle, a young purple unicorn, warned her dragon assistant Spike.

   "Aw come on Twilight! It looks really cool!" Spike whined. The vase in question was black with purple stripes. It had strange markings on it, and was currently sitting on Twilight's desk. Spike looked up at the purple unicorn and tried his best puppy dog eyes. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!" Twilight groaned.

   "Fine! You can touch it ONCE! Okay?" Spike did a fist pump and walked over to the vase. He brought out his claw.

   And touched it.

   CRASH. It sounded like something hit one of the bookshelves in Twilight's library. Twilight glared at Spike, who was currently staring at the supposed magical vase. Then he noticed Twilight staring at him. "It wasn't me I swear!" He lifted both arms up. The confused unicorn trotted down the stairs and found a very odd sight in her home.

   A young earth pony stallion had crashed into one of the bookshelves. He had a red coat of fur,  a spiked black mane and tail, and for the oddest reason, a pair of orange goggles on his eyes. She stared at the pony before galloping up the stairs to Spike.

    He frowned. "What's wrong Twilight?"

   Twilight took deep breaths before answering her faithful assistant. "Spike get the first aid kit, somepony got hurt." Spike immediately got up and ran around to his sister-like figures bed, rummaging around for it. Twilight had run back downstairs and lifted the unconscious pony to her guest bed. He groaned.

   "Wh- where am I?" The colt asked Twilight. She frowned. He didn't know where he was?

   "You're in my library. Who are you?" The colt immediately sat up and opened his eyes. He stared at Twilight. She stared back at him.

   "Okay... then. Talking horse and I'm in a library." He laid down in disbelief. "And I thought my life couldn't get any weirder." Twilight stared at the strange looking colt some more. What was he talking about? Why did he think she looked weird. Wait a minute-

   "Uh first of all I'm a pony. More specifically a unicorn. Second of all your a pony too, so stop insulting me please!" She said to the colt. Then she realized something else. "SPIIIIIIIIIIIIKE! WHERE ARE YOU!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.

   "Gah! I still need to find it Twilight!" He yelled back. The colt sat up and frowned at Twilight.

   "Your name's Twilight? Wow that's pretty weird." He snickered at her before stopping and looking at her with a serious expression. "And what do you mean I'm a ho- er pony? I'm a-" he stopped and finally noticed what he looked like. "AHHHHHHH! I'M A FREAKING PONY!" He yelled. Twilight covered her ears with her hooves to protect them from his outburst.

   "Of course your a pony everypony is a pony!" She said to the confusing colt. Twilight sighed. "What's your name anyway?" The earth pony smiled at her.

   "My name's Rex. You've probably heard of me." He said. Twilight frowned some more.

   "I've never heard of you before. And what kind of name is Rex? It sounds really weird." Rex laughed out loud.

   "My name is weird to you! Ahaha! Oh it's too funny!" He rolled over on his side laughing at his joke while Twilight stared at him. All of a sudden, Spike ran into the room holding the first aid kit.

   "I got it!" He panted.

   "Ahh! What are you?!" Rex yelled at Spike.

   "I'm a dragon?" He said with a questionable tone. The strange colt groaned and rolled on his back.

   "Can I at least get ONE good thing?!" Rex complained. Then there was a sharp, loud sound that went through the room.

   "Rex can you hear me? Are you okay?" The voice went. Twilight looked all around, searching for the voice but found nobody.

   "Dr. Holiday! Oh man am I glad to hear someone's voice that I know!" Rex said to the voice. "Dr. Holiday?" Twilight thought as she stared at Rex.

   "Rex where are you? Did you get rid of the device Breech put on you?" Dr. Holiday asked him.

   "Uhh I don't really know where I am, but your never gonna believe what the heck just happened to me."

   "Oh and Rex,"

   "Yea?" Rex asked the voice.

   "You wouldn't happen to have any idea why your biometric scans make you look like a horse, would you?" Rex laughed uncomfortably.

   "Uhh that's the unbelievable part. I'm a pony."

   "WHAT?!" Everyone in the room covered their ears at this outburst. They heard a sigh from the voice. "Give me a little time to accept that Rex. Holiday out." Then they heard a small noise and the voice didn't return. Twilight was staring at Rex with a scared expression on her face.

   "Who exactly ARE you?" She said. Rex shrugged his shoulders.

   "Don't know exactly cause I'm still working on the whole amnesia thing." He replied. Then he jumped off of the bed and stood up. "Okay soooooo I don't suppose you'll let me go so I can check on something, will you?"

   "Ohnonononono! You just crashed into one of my bookshelves! You could be seriously hurt!" Twilight exclaimed. Rex scoffed.

   "OK uh, I've been thrown through solid concrete, been up in space, and battled TONS of monsters without getting a scratch on me. I think I'm fine" He said while the others eyes grew wider and wider.

   "Aw come ON! It took me forever to find this first aid kit!" Spike complained.

   "Sorry about that. Hey Twilight you wouldn't happen to know anywhere I can go to check on something . It would have to be away from any people- er ponies." Rex asked.

   "Yea that would be Whitetail Woods but why would you-" Her sentence was interrupted by Rex.

   "Thanks! Which way would that be?"

   "You'd just have to go left from here but why do you-" Twilight didn't get to finish that thought because she had gotten accidentally knocked over by Rex, who was already at the door.

   "Thanks Twilight! I'll see you later!" Then he was gone. Spike looked at Twilight.

   "Weird," he grumbled before going upstairs to go put away the kit. Twilight was deep in thought about that strange colt. "What are you hiding . . ." She thought to herself before running out the door to follow Rex.