Getting Ahead in Love

by dramatic_spoon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance
Length: 1878

Twilight's parents meet her coltfriend: The Headless Horse

Twilight's Parents are thrilled to find out she has a coltfriend.
And it's....the Headless Horse?

for the August Crack Ships Inc. contest.

Published 2013-08-18 13:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-18 13:00:02 UTC

Just my Style

Canterlot Rail Station

“Her coltfriend?” Night Light frowned, “She never mentioned him before.”

“She was keeping it a surprise, dear,” Twilight Velvet gently chided her husband, “She said she met him recently, and thinks we’ll love him.”

“…It’s not that Sentry kid, is it?”

“Dear, he’s taken.”

“…I liked him,” Night Light sulked.

Ponyville-Canterlot Railway

Twilight sat across a dark blue stallion with a flowing silver tail. No cutie mark adorned his flank, and he wore a face concealing helmet.

“I feel ridiculous.” The stallion sighed, his voice muffled by the helmet.

“It’s just to keep everypony else from panicking.” Twilight patted the stallion’s forehoof.

“I can barely see out of this thing.” The stallion continued to grumble, “and it’s hard to breathe.”

“It’s just a little longer,”

Canterlot Rail Station

“Oh, that must be the train,” Twilight Velvet motioned at the train as it came to a halt.

The two unicorns trotted over towards it, as passengers exited. Eventually, Twilight trotted off the train, scanning the area for her parents.

“Twilight! Over here!” Twilight Velvet called out.

“Mom!” Twilight smiled as Twilight Velvet and Night Light trotted over to her. The two mares quickly embraced each other.

“Now where’s the mystery stallion you mentioned?” Velvet craned her neck to look behind her daughter.

“He’s here,” Twilight looked behind her, “You can come out now.”

The stallion trotted off the train and stopped by Twilight’s side. Velvet and Night Light exchanged confused glances before returning their attention to their daughter.

“This is Hedley,” Twilight beamed, “Hedley, these are my parents, Twilight Velvet and Night Light.”

“…Um… Hi.” Hedley nervously greeted them.

“…” Night Light frowned as he stared at the stallion.

“Well, hello there young colt.” Twilight Velvet beamed, “as Twilight said, I’m her mother, Twilight Velvet. Well, let’s get going, we can talk more at home.”
Velvet jabbed Night Light in the ribs, breaking his concentration, “Right dear?”

“What? Oh, sure, whatever.” Night Light shrugged as Twilight and Velvet passed him. Once both of the mares were out of the way, Night Light turned his attention to Hedley.

“Listen you, you better take good care of my little Sparkle, got it?”

“Of course, sir.”

“Good. While you’re at my house, no kissing, no neck biting, no licking, none of that, got it?” Night Light’s eyes narrowed.

“Sir, you’re gonna find that that’s not going to be a problem.” Hedley wearily replied.

“Good. Now let’s go.”

Night Light slapped the other colt on the back, accidently jarring his helmet loose. The helmet landed on the ground with a clatter, as Twilight froze up.

“Oh no.”

The mare spun around, only to find her father and other passengers starting at Hedley in complete shock. The stallion sighed, as inky black smoke drifted out of his headless neck.

“I told you this wasn’t going to work, Twi.” His voice came out of Hedley’s neck.

With that, the crowd exploded into fearful cries, screams and panic while Night Light collapsed onto the ground, unconscious.

“…Well, I’m sure this has an interesting story behind it,” Twilight Velvet sighed.

Sparkle’s Residence

Twilight Velvet pushed open the door, leading the once again helmeted Hedley inside. Twilight followed behind him, carrying the still unconscious body of Night Light behind her.

“Just put your father on the couch. In the meantime, Hedley, would you like to help me in the kitchen?”

“Um…sure, Mrs. Sparkle.”

Twilight and Night Light headed off for another part of the house, while Velvet and Hedley entered the kitchen.

“Just have a seat.”

Hedley took the seat she pointed at and reached up, before stopping.

“Um, Mrs. Sparkle? Should I keep my helmet on or off?”

“Whichever is more comfortable for you, dear.” The mare responded.

Hedly pulled the helmet off, placing it on the table. Velvet turned around, and involuntarily winced at Hedley.

“It’s alright, I’m use to it.” Hedley sighed.

“It’s… well, it’s not something I’m used to.” The mare meekly smiled back, “How did you two meet?”

“Well… It’s a bit complicated.” Hedley shrugged, “But I used to live in the Everfree. It’s… not very fun. Very damp, muddy, buggy, but on the plus side, I was unaffected by the cockatrice that lived there.”

“I suppose that’s one benefit to having no head,” Velvet blinked, “No offense.”

“None taken. So one day I was going through to forest to visit my friend Zecora, when I hear a scream. I ran off to go and find out what was going on, and discovered Twilight and a Manticore.
So I did the only thing I could.”

“What’s that?”

“I rammed it has hard as I could and scared it off.” The stallion shrugged, “She was badly hurt, so I took her to Zecora’s hut.”

“I think Twilight mentioned Zecora before, the zebra right?”

“Yes. Unfortunately, she remained unconscious for several days. Zecora went into town to inform her friends about what happened, so I remained in her hut.
Then Twilight woke up…”

“And?” Velvet glanced back towards him, “How do you like your coffee?”

“Oh, um…black. Iced if possible,” Hedley added, “I don’t like hot things.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.”

“It’s hard to blow on it and cool it down. But as I was saying, Twilight woke up and…well, I hid in the next room and told her everything.
I haven’t really had a good track record with meeting ponies so I wanted to stay out of sight.
Well, she didn’t want any of that, so… she yanked me into view.”

“…One day I think we should have a talk. She tends to do things like that.” Velvet sighed as she returned to the table. The unicorn placed a cup of iced coffee in front of the stallion.

“Thank you.” Hedley picked up the cup and poured some of its contents down his neck.

“…How exactly do you eat?” Velvet frowned, “I’m sorry if that’s rude but…well, If you both are planning on staying for dinner, I think I should make something that’s easy for you to eat.”

“I can manage fine with anything, really.” Hedley replied, “there’s no need to do something special.”

“Anyway, as you were saying?’ Velvet took a sip of her coffee.

“Well, I braced for the screams and panic, but it never happened. She was excited.” Hedley paused, “that’s something that’s never happened before.”

“She’s always been the interesting sort,” Velvet chuckled.

“And so, she wanted to thank me for helping her, one thing lead to another and…” Hedley shrugged.

“What about her friends?”

“Well, it took a while, but I got introduced to them. Applejack was horrified. Pinkie didn’t care. Rainbow Dash thought I was awesome. Rarity thought I was…interesting to say the least.
Fluttershy ran off and hid under the table.”

“…That sounds about right. Has she told the Princesses about you?”

“Not yet,” Twilight trotted into the room and took a seat next to Hedley, “I’m waiting for the right moment.”

“What about Shining and Princess Cadance?” Velvet took another sip of her coffee.

“…Not yet.”

“Oh my head…” Night Light staggered into the room, “You wouldn’t believe the dream I had. I dreamt that Twilight was coming to visit us with her coltfriend, and it turned out he was some sort of headless freak of nature.”

“Dad!” Twilight groaned and slapped her forehead as Hedley sulked.

“Dear, it wasn’t a dream. And don’t call Twilight’s coltfriend that.”

Night Light froze as he realized Hedley was there.

“…Crap.”

later

Night Light and Hedley uncomfortably sat across from each other.

“...So… do you have family?” Night Light uncertainly asked.

“I honestly do not know, sir.” Hedley shrugged, “I really don’t know much about my past.”

“So you don’t know if it’s genetic?”

“Sir, if you’re worried about headless grandchildren, I think I’d have to get in your good graces first.” Hedley deadpanned.

“Don’t get smart with me, boy,” Night Light grumbled, “but you have a valid point.”

“To be honest, I’m really not sure about what I’m going to do,” Hedley sighed, “I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I think it would be in both of our interest to take it a bit slow.”

“That’s good.”

“Is it true that Twilight’s brother married Princess Cadance?” Hedley changed the subject.

“He did.”

“…This must be a bit of a disappointment then,” Hedley chuckled, “One child marries a princess, and the other one entered a relationship with a foalhood nightmare.”

“What exactly do you do, anyway?” Night Light changed the subject.

“Well, I’m starting to work in the library. I’m also trying to write a book, sort of a collection of stories.” Hedley noted.

“Hm. Well, I suppose it’s better than nothing.” Night Light concluded.

“Thank you,”

Awkward silence reigned as the two stallions quietly returned to their drinks.

“…Sir, I can see you staring at me like that,” Hedley placed his drink back on the table, “If it’ll make things easier, just ask.”

“No, I can’t, My wife would kill me.”

“Sir, just get it off your chest.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Just do it.” Hedley sighed.

“No I ca…”

“Sir.”

“How do you see? How do you eat? How can you even hear what I’m saying? How the hell are you talking? How do you even kiss her?” Night Light’s glass flipped as he slammed his hoof on the table, “What in the name of Princess Celestia’s left teat does she even see in you?”

Silence once again reigned as Night Light calmed down.

“Feeling better sir?” Hedley inquired.

“Much better,” Night Light regained his composure and picked up his now empty glass, “Thank you for putting up with that.”

“Not a problem, sir.”

“Nonetheless, I will still be treating you as if you were any other pony dating my daughter.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“The rules I told you at the train station still apply,” Night Light blinked and frowned, “Well, as best as they can.”

“Alright.”

“You will be sleeping in the guest room. Do not attempt to sneak into Twilight’s room, and I will tell her that she should not try to sneak into yours.”

“Sir, I sincerely doubt your daughter would be stupid enough to try and make love to me in the same house as her parents.” Hedley deadpanned.

“I was young once,” Night Light countered, “I know how ponies in love think.”

“….I suppose that’s true,” Hedley conceded, “Twilight does act uncharacteristically irrational at times.”

Twilight Velvet and Twilight Sparkle exited the kitchen, carrying plates, forks and bowls of food.

“What was that commotion?” Velvet frowned at Night Light.

“It’s nothing, Ma’am.”

“Well… alright then.” Velvet gave her husband a suspicious look as he meekly smiled back.

The two mares quickly set everything onto the table, before sitting down.

“A toast.” Night Light quickly refilled his glass before holding it up, “To the two of you. Let’s hope this goes better than your last coltfriend.”

“I thought we were never going to talk about that again,” Twilight grumbled as she brought her own glass up.

Velvet and Hedley held their own glasses up, and the four ponies clinked them together. After taking a drink, the four began eating and struck a cheerful conversations peppered with laughter and groans.