My Existence, the Greatest Perversion.

Dearest Applejack,

Since I came to Ponyville, we've had many adventures. University, making a name four ourselves, our first date, our first kiss... There's just too many to count, much less name in this simple letter. Out of all that, however, my most treasured memory is of when we confessed our love for one another.

You may not think it, but for all our differences, I couldn't even begin to think of what my life wouldn't have been like without you. You have become the piece that completes me, helping me stay grounded when I'd lost my way and giving me sight where I was blinded by my petty troubles. Your strength has been my foundation through so many crises. I honestly don't think I could have become the mare I am without your love.

It is precisely for this reason, that I must say goodbye.

I suppose “it's not you, it's me” would seem both cliché and insincere, but in this case, it's very much true. I've been hiding things from you, things that you would probably find disgusting beyond measure. That has proven to be painful enough, but lately, it's become harder and harder to hide these things from you. I know that I'm being dreadfully vague, but I honestly don't know what to say. All I know is that, as things are, I'll break your heart if this keeps up. Thus, for your sake, I've decided to leave Ponyville. By the time you read this, the boutique will have been closed and I'll be well out of town. I'd hoped to say goodbye personally, but I lack the courage to look you in the eye and say these things to the only pony I'll ever love. All I ask is that you do not look for me.

Know that I'll love and treasure you always.

Rarity.

A deafening crunch filled the air as Applejack bucked the door off its hinges and stormed into the former Carousel Boutique. True to the Rarity's letter, the place was a shadow of its former self. The poniquins were gone, as were any fabric or furniture, anything that suggested that this had been a home or place of business. Only a few scraps of paper littered the ground, hastily scribbled notes and faded, old pages that were barely legible.

In a remarkable show of restraint, Rainbow Dash decided against her normal entry method of crashing through a window, instead simply walking through the busted doorway. “You know, Applejack,” she began, “this is still breaking and entering. I'm sure the real estate company isn't going to like having to replace that door.”

“The real estate company can stuff it!” Applejack spat in response, picking up all the papers with her teeth. “You gonna help, or just sit there lookin' stupid?”

Shrugging, Rainbow Dash started putting her teeth and wings to use, gathering the various notes and scraps of paper. Crazy as this was, Applejack was her friend, and she wasn't going to let her friend suffer alone. That, Rainbow admitted, and I want a piece of Rarity for doing this to her!

The two of them spent the better part of the afternoon picking up notes and other papers, until they'd collected a fairly large pile that could, hopefully, provide a clue as to just why the hay Rarity had run off and, more importantly, where.

“I think that's all of them,” Rainbow quipped. “I say we get these to Twilight, see if she can help.”

Looking at one of the papers, Applejack went cross-eyed. There sure were a lot of big, fancy words she didn't recognize here. “Yeah,” she agreed, “This here looks more like Twilight's speed.”

The two of them left, not bothering to cover the opening where the door had been, leaving the place in silence. After a few blessed moments of silence, a puffy-maned pink pony appeared in a puff of powdered sugar, her body concealed in a black jumpsuit, her belt sporting throwing kunai knives made out of squeaky plastic.

“Okay,” she whispered, “It's ninja Pinkie time!” The strumming of a koto filled the air, causing Pinkie to look around for a moment in confusion. Where did that even come from?

The library was locked up tight, a rare thing for a Wednesday before the moon had taken hold of the sky, while four ponies pored through the papers Applejack and Rainbow had picked up.

“I'm not entirely sure this, um, tells us where Rarity went,” Fluttershy said as she looked at one of the papers. “A lot of this is pretty mundane.”

“Yeah, I gotta agree,” Twilight concurred. “There's some dress order info, a few medical reports, nothing huge. Lots of talk about taking doses, but nothing to say why she'd leave...” Frustrated, Twilight stretched out her wings and let out a yawn. “... Or for that matter, what she's supposed to be taking doses of.”

Applejack and Rainbow were looking at their papers, the two of them seemingly competing to see who could look the most confused. The rainbow-maned speedster was the first to open her mouth. “I don't get it,” she said absently as she started at an especially old-looking piece of paper.

“Get what?” Fluttershy asked sweetly.

Passing the other pegasus the paper that she'd been looking at, Rainbow let out an exasperated huff. “What's that say?”

Looking at the paper, a blush immediately flared up on Fluttershy's cheeks. “Oh dear,” she whispered. “I didn't know that as even a thing...”

“What was a thing?” Applejack asked, suddenly looking up from her paper and staring at the shy yellow pegasus.

“Well, um... sp... sp...” True to form, Fluttershy was having difficulty speaking as the eyes of every mare in the room were turned on her.

Eventually, some mercy was shown to the timid member of the group, and Twilight used her magic to snatch the paper from her. Looking it over, Twilight shared her friend's blush, though she managed to get the word out more easily. “Spermavore?” Every pony started dumbly at Twilight as the princess took on a suddenly contemplative look. “That's funny,” she continued, more to herself than to the rest of the assembled ponies, “this condition doesn't even exist in nature, and turning a mare into one for any reason has been a crime since Princesses Celestia and Luna first rose to power... Why would she be...?”

“So, what's this got to do with Rarity?” Rainbow asked curiously. “I mean, why would that even be on a bunch of notes in her house?”

Her attention snapped back to the world around her, Twilight up at her prismatic friend, her lips pursed into a tight frown. “Well,” Twlight responded. “If this paper is to be believed, Rarity's a spermavore. Doesn't make sense, though, she's not exactly a cock-hound...”

Silence filled the room once again as the other ponies took that information in. By the time Applejack spoke, it was easily possible to hear a pin drop. “Now wait up, I've got a good idea what they mean by 'sperma,'” she said, “but what's 'vore' mean?”

Twilight gulped as the rest of the room turned its attention to her once more. “Well, put simply,” Twilight said, very poignantly not looking at Applejack, “It means Rarity can only gain nutrition by... semen...”

Immediately, Applejack sprung up to all fours. “Now hold on!” she protested. “I dunno what you're trying to say about Rarity, but I know she'd never cheat on me!”

“Yeah, I gotta go with Applejack on this one,” Rainbow Dash chimed in. “If Rarity needed semen to survive, why would she eat normal food? Wouldn't that hurt her?” Rainbow simply shuddered at the idea, thankful that it wasn't her they were talking about.

Suddenly sympathizing with Fluttershy's timidness, Twilight bit her lip and looked down from those piercing green eyes. “W-well, I wouldn't call simply trying to stay alive a form of cheating, and it wouldn't be too hard to eat in public as a cover, since it would just be regurgitated a few minutes later when the body rejected it.” Her gaze hardened a bit as it settled on Rainbow Dash. “And you've been reading the fillies' vampony stories, have you?”

“N-Never mind that!” Rainbow Dash stuttered, looking for anything to distract from being exposed as liking sappy vampony stories for fillies.

“Still, I can't see it,” Applejack insisted. “Where would she even find the time between hangin' out with us, spendin' time with me and her job?”

It was at that point that an explosion rocked the room, a cloud of powdered sugar obscuring every pony's vision and leaving them all coughing uncontrollably.

“P-Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash cried out through her coughs. “I swear, that's the last time I take you to a ninja movie marathon!”

Ignoring her marefriend's protests, Pinkie Pie tossed a collated stack of notes wrapped in twine at Applejack. “Come on, girls, we gotta go!” she shouted, demonstrating equal parts panic and a complete and utter inability to use an indoor voice. “Rarity's going to start doing porn if we don't stop her!” The hurried strumming of a koto accompanied Pinkie's sudden declaration. “.... And that weird noise keeps following me.”