My Existence, the Greatest Perversion.

“Playground Productions?”

Applejack stood at the front door with Rainbow Dash, adjusting her stetson and looking up at the plaque next to it.

For her part, Rainbow Dash seemed nonplussed about the name. “What did you expect?” she asked. “It’s a porn studio. There’s not exactly a premium on creativity.”

“Eeyup,” Applejack murmured. “Though I guess they gotta have somethin’ if Rarity picked this studio above all the other ones.”

Shrugging, Rainbow Dash took to the air to look at the studio itself. It wasn’t exactly a large building, two floors, a box design like what one would see in Manehattan, though wide rather than tall. It was actually quite unassuming for a building where ponies had sex most of the day, though Rainbow figured that wasn’t quite the case inside. I expected more outdoor spots, though, she thought to herself.

Applejack looked up at her sky-blue buddy. “You see her anywhere, RD?” she asked.

“Nope,” Rainbow replied as she landed. “They don’t seem to have anywhere here for filming outside. Meaning if she’s not here now, we might have to wait for a while.”

A sigh escaped Applejack’s lips. “I’m really hoping we don’t have to go lookin’ for porn shoots,” she said. Shrugging her shoulders, she pulled open the door. “Well, we ain’t gonna find her sittin’ here.”

The door led to a nice little reception room, with a small red couch not unlike the one Rarity would faint into and a circular mahogany table off to a side. A receptionist’s desk, also mahogany, was on the opposite end from the door, a white mare with a red mane in pigtails sitting behind it and filing her fore-hooves.

“Swank little lobby,” Rainbow quipped as she hovered just off the ground behind Applejack.

Not paying attention to her friend, Applejack made her way to the desk, her hooves clopping loudly on the polished marble floor. “Howdy there,” she said to the receptionist. “I’m lookin’ for one of the employees ‘round here.”

The mare didn’t seem to notice Applejack, or was making a very concerted effort to look like she hadn’t noticed, content to simply focus on her hoof filing.

Clearing her throat, Applejack made another effort to get the young mare’s attention. “Hello, I’m looking for a mare named Rarity.” She took a deep breath, trying not to get angry at this indifferent little piece of trash.

“There’s no one by that name who works here,” the mare replied indifferently, still making no effort to look up or otherwise acknowledge the two mares in the room.

Applejack started to growl under her breath. Oh this here girl’s playin’ with us! She thought indignantly.

Sensing her friend’s temper getting the best of her, Rainbow Dash cut in, smiling warmly at the receptionist. “Maybe you’ve heard of Gem Cave?” she asked.

“You mean the new talent?” The receptionist asked, still not sounding particularly interested in the conversation.

“Yeah!” Rainbow chirped. “We just got done watching Gem Cave VS the Diamond Dongs, and we’re really big fans!”

Finally, the mare looked up at the guests, flashing them the softest hint of a smile. “Looking for autographs, are you?”

Rainbow nodded, then tapped Applejack’s rear hoof with one of her own, causing Applejack to nod in response.

The mare simply chuckled. “Well, gotta admit this is a first. We haven’t even started sending videos outside of the Los Pegasus area, and she’s already got fans from out of town, and mares at that.”

“Yeah?” Applejack snapped. “What of it!?” Rainbow simply face-hoofed, wondering how she ended up being the one with the tact here.

“Nothing,” the receptionist replied, her voice suddenly taking on a playful tone. “Just that normally it’s stallions trying to get a hook up with Gem Cave. Her debut’s not even been out three days and already we’ve had to beef up security.”

The two Ponyville ponies shuddered at that, both of them coming up with mental images of the sort of stallions who’d be looking to hook up with “Gem Cave” after seeing her throat-fucked and double-penetrated by enormously hung diamond dogs. The mental image wasn’t exactly pretty.

The receptionist nodded, as if sensing some bit of understanding from Applejack and Rainbow. “I’m sure you’ll understand, then,” she stated casually, “that I can’t go telling you where she is.”

Applejack opened her mouth to protest, her cheeks red with anger, but stopped when Rainbow cleared her throat.

“Could you at least send her a message?” Rainbow offered.

The receptionist’s black eyes darted from pony to pony, suddenly looking at lot less casual, but not quite confrontational yet. “I suppose I could do that,” she agreed. “Just, no propositions for dates, okay?”

“Just tell her Applejack’s here,” Applejack said. “She’ll know who I am.”

“Will do,” the receptionist replied. Neither Rainbow nor Applejack were convinced, but the look the receptionist gave them suggested that the conversation was over.

Dejected, Applejack walked out with Rainbow Dash in tow. “Well, that was useless!”

“Noooot entirely,” Rainbow quipped, grinning as she started hovering. “Let’s get Pinkie and Fluttershy.”

That earned a raised eyebrow from Applejack. “What for?” she asked.

Rainbow Dash winked at her old friend playfully. “Stakeout.”

–

Fluttershy sat in the bushes next to a cardboard box, looking out through a pair of binoculars as she had for the past three hours.

“See anything?” the box asked.

“No,” Fluttershy replied softly.

A moment of silence passed.

“See anything?” the box asked.

“No,” Fluttershy replied softly.

A moment of silence passed.

“See anything?” the box asked.

“No,” Fluttershy replied, sighing in exasperation and looking over at the box. “Um, Pinkie,” she began, her voice quivering as she spoke, “what happened to your binoculars?”

“I can’t see anything through this cardboard,” the box admitted.

Fluttershy looked over at the box next to her, noticing that one of the long sides was facing the building. “I think I see the problem,” she said softly. Taking hold of the box, she turned it around so that one of the short sides, with the holes for gripping, faced forward instead. “Try that,” she offered.

Suddenly, a pair of binoculars poked out of the hole, looking out at the building they were staking out. “There we go!” the box chirped happily. “Thanks, Fluttershy!”

“Um, you’re welcome,” Fluttershy replied. She resumed looking out of her own binoculars at the building, her lips pursed in concentration. A moment of silence passed, and both Fluttershy and the cardboard box stared intently, waiting for their friend to come out.

It had been simple enough, really. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were scouting the front of the building, with Fluttershy and Pinkie, the latter in a cardboard box for some reason, staking out the back. It required quiet. Fluttershy was comfortable with quiet. Surprisingly, even Pinkie was managing to stay quiet, though the way the box fidgeted every so often suggested that it was taking a great deal of effort not to bounce and sing or whatever it was that Pinkie wanted to do at the moment.

Fluttershy was about to tell Pinkie to stop moving when she saw the building’s rear exit open up, a pristine white mare with a triple-diamond cutie mark and immaculately wavy purple mane and tail walking out and smiling to herself as she started walking away. She knew nothing would go right if she went there with Pinkie, who was already squeeing with delight at seeing their friend, so Fluttershy looked down and smiled as sweetly as she could.

“Pinkie,” Fluttershy cooed, “could you be a dear and go get Applejack and Rainbow Dash?”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie chirped in response. With that, the box started moving around the building, surprisingly not being ripped or poked despite staying in the bushes.

Now alone, Fluttershy took a deep breath and emerged from the bushes, matching Rarity’s pace as the unicorn started walking to a nearby alleyway.

Another advantage of being quiet, Fluttershy would learn, was the ability to walk right up to unsuspecting ponies. Not that she’d ever do anything bad to a pony, but it proved quite handy when trying to get up close to a pony in a dirty alley. Confident that she was close enough for Rarity to hear without having to raise her voice, Fluttershy spoke up. “Um, hello Rarity,” she squeaked softly.

Suddenly, Rarity froze and turned her head to the source of the voice. “Fluttershy!?” she gasped, staring in shock at the lemon yellow pegasus before her. “What are you doing here!?”

Fluttershy hid defensively behind her mane, feeling Rarity’s bright blue eyes boring deep into her. “Um...” She swallowed hard, trying to push down the knot that had suddenly formed in her throat. “Uh, we were all really worried about you, and we decided to, um...”

Sighing softly, Rarity simply shook her head and closed the distance between her and the shy pony before her. “Honestly, Fluttershy, I’m all right,” she assured her friend. “I guess I should have expected Applejack to come after me anyway, but I assure you, I’m perfectly happy here.” She brushed Fluttershy’s mane from her face, a warm smile on her face as she looked into her turquoise eyes. “Honestly, it’s been an absolute blast here, and while I miss Ponyville, I dare say this is as good as it gets for me.”

“Is that right, Gem Cave?”

Applejack’s voice, hard with anguish, made both Fluttershy and Rarity stiffen up nervously. Looking behind her, Fluttershy saw that Applejack was galloping up the alley with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie, the latter having finally ditched the box.

“Oh fuckberries,” Rarity cursed under her breath.

Fluttershy silently nodded her agreement with Rarity’s assessment of the situation. This wasn’t going to end well.