In Spike We Trustby CornflakChaptersRarity's Black HairThe Rise of FeatherweightThe Mind Reading SpiderSpike vs. JournalismTreasonFriends with ExpositionsOBJECTION!Seeing Through the CracksBitten by the HypnobugEnjoyRarity's Black HairIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ I’m not good at telling stories, but I’ll give it a shot. You probably don't even know what's going on, but everypony's talking about me right now. I screwed up big time, just because I wanted Rarity to like me. I trusted the wrong draconequus. I’m talking about Discord. Please don’t ask how I got involved with him. I’ll get to it later. So, it starts while I’m at the house with Twilight. It’s almost midnight. “This bow tie looks stupid.” I’m just glaring at myself in the mirror. I don’t look like somepony who’s excited about their first date. “Trust me, Spike. I know she’ll love it.” Twilight was talking about how Rarity would think I’m pretty sexy if I wore this big red bow. Twilight didn’t use the word “sexy”, though. She said I would look, “highly distinguished and approachable”. “But I’ll look good?” She just laughs at me. “Now, make sure you listen to everything she says. Rarity likes to talk about a variety of things if you give her the chance. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself listening to how this shade of red doesn't go with a dress, or how this hairstyle will go out of style next year. But whatever you do, just act like you’re listening.” “I've had a lot of practice.” I roll my eyes. “Oh, well that’s good!” Twilight doesn't catch on that I was making fun of her. And now she’s standing behind me and reaching around with her hooves to straighten the big red bow for the tenth time, “Are you excited?” “I might be if I can take this off.” “Don’t be cynical, Spike. You want to look good for your date, right?” “Can’t I just wear the mustache?” Twilight laughs again. I’m convinced that she doesn't take me seriously anymore. “Okay, did you use the cologne I got you?” “No. I smell fine.” “You smell like a dragon.” she giggles and sprays a cloud of smell-good stuff in my face, stinging my eyes and making me sneeze. When I’m trying to rub the tears away, Twilight hears a knock at the door, “Oh, that must be the girls. Spike, you need to go ahead and meet Rarity in town. I’m having a sleepover tonight.” “With who?” I head over to the front door with Twilight. “The girls.” I wish she would look down and see the face I’m giving her. __________________________________________________ The date with Rarity is really awkward. We’re just sitting on top of a hill at midnight, looking at stars. I guess it’s pretty romantic, but I’m just worried about how stupid she thinks my big red bow looks. She hasn’t said anything about boring dresses or hairstyles. “You know, Spike, I really am quite impressed that you came out tonight.” “Really?” “Well, of course! Twilight told me all about how nervous you were.” “She did?” My face starts flushing and turning red. I’m ready to go back home and crash the sleepover after hearing that. “Oh, don’t worry. It’s perfectly normal, darling. And you can remove that silly bow tie. I know how much you hate those things.” As I rip the bow off my neck, I almost ask her how she knows that. But then I remember all the times when she would play dress-up with me and experiment with all sorts of lame clothes. Personally, my favorite will always be the mustache. “So what do you wanna do?” I try not to let my voice crack. “Oh, Spikey Wikey, we can do whatever you want.” she bats her eyes at me. I can’t help it when she does that. I start feeling dizzy and my claws go numb. My heart feels really heavy. I try to catch my breath. I’m gonna kiss her. There’s no turning back because both of us are already leaning in. It’s almost like we planned for this to happen. But then I feel my throat tighten. My eyes get really big and I know what’s about to happen. HICCUP! A rush of warm air erupts from my throat and I close my eyes. Please stop. Don’t do this. I end up burping really loud and a fireball hops out of my mouth and heads straight for Rarity’s pretty face. The fireball practically eats her whole head. “WHA-? SPIKEEEEEE! OH, MY HAIR! SPIKE, MY HAIR!!” Rarity starts punching her own face with her hooves. She looks like she’s trying to swat a bunch of flies on her head. I look down from the hill and I see a stream of water nearby. Without thinking, I just go ahead and shove her off the edge. She screams all the way down and makes a big splash. “Rarity! You all right?” I lean over and look down until I see her head plop up from the water. She starts swinging her hooves everywhere and sending water in all directions. “SPIKEEEEE!” “It’s okay, your hair actually looks pretty cool when it’s all black like that!” “Spike, just....go home! Please, just go!” Well, I guess that wraps it up. I really did like her hair, though... _________________________________________________ So yeah, I ruined the date with my dumb fire breath. Why can’t I be a pony like Rarity? Being a dragon is just lame, and I don’t have any dragon friends. All I have are these ponies who don’t take me seriously and don’t trust me. I can’t even go back in my own house because I’m scared to tell Twilight about the date. I’m just standing outside in the dark, and I can hear a lot of girls laughing from inside. I forgot about the sleepover. That just makes this worse. I take a deep breath and open the front door. The whole house goes quiet and the ponies turn around to look at me. “Oh, Spike! That was fast.” Twilight is the first one to pipe up. I clench my claws into fists. “Shoot, you look lower than a snake’s behind!” Applejack can already tell that I’m not myself. “Dude, you ok?” Rainbow Dash flies up to me and almost forgets to stop herself. Pinkie Pie doesn’t say anything. I think she knows that she would just make it worse. She can be too uppity sometimes. “Oh dear...Spike, is everything alright?” Fluttershy finally hits the nail on the coffin. The sound of her fragile voice just makes me well up. I can’t hold it in, so I just break down and run upstairs to my bed. “Be right back, girls.” I hear Twilight say. This is when she comes upstairs to sit down behind me. I try and pull the covers so that I’m hiding away from her, but that doesn’t stop her from rubbing her hoof along my side, “Spike, what happened?” she says in a whisper. “I d-don’t....wanna t-talk about it...” my sides are heaving like I’m constantly choking on my words. It’s the truth; I really don’t want to talk about my date. “You don’t need to bottle up your feelings.” “S-she doesn’t l-l-like m-me an-nymore...s-she-” “Shhhh.” Twilight cuts me off and keeps rubbing my ribs, “She still likes you.” “N-n-nnn-no she doesn’t!” “Why wouldn’t she like you?” I’m about to answer her, but the door cracks open and light pours into the room. “Yo, Twi.” It’s Rainbow Dash, “Do we need to leave, or...?” “No, no. It’s fine. I’ll be out there in just a second.” The door closes. Twilight sighs. I cry. “Look...we’ll talk about this in the morning. Try to get some sleep, Spike.” And she gets up to go party with her friends. It makes me feel really lonely again. I can’t stop thinking about how cool it’d be if I had a buddy that was a dragon like me. We could stay up late and hangout and talk about our favorite gems and- “Well, well, well. Spikey Wikey seems to be having a bad night. How sad.” I stop crying and freeze. My spine tingles because I know that voice. It’s still just as scary and evil as I remember. The only thing I can ask myself is, ‘Why me?’. I hear the floorboards creak under his weight. “Oh, I know you hear me. Don’t play coy with me.” “W-what do you want?” I finally croak. “What do I want? Why, I simply want to make sure you’re alright.” “I’m fine.” I grit my teeth. “You don’t have to lie to me, Spikey Wikey.” “Look, I had a bad night.” “Yes, I saw that. You had quite an explosive reaction with Rarity.” he starts chuckling. I’m not laughing, though. Suddenly, he lays a claw on my back. I can’t help but flinch. “I can help you, ya know.” “...go away.” I say quietly. “Now, now. Don’t be so quick to pull the trigger. I have a proposal.” “No.” I’m not interested. “Nopony has to know but you and me. Except..we’re not ponies, are we?” I’m listening. “We’re dragons, aren’t we? Yes, very much different from the others.” “What do you want?” I ask again. It’s obvious that he came for something. He doesn’t care about me. “Well, I don’t like to admit it, but...I’d become rather lonesome.” “Huh?” It didn’t make sense. How could a god of chaos have feelings like that? “Oh, yes. It’s very true. I was wondering if you would like to be friends.” “Why me?” “Spike, I know how you feel ostracized from the group. I could help you feel loved again.” he says this while he gives my spine a light squeeze. “My friends love me.” “Do they? Why aren’t they partying with you? Did they even invite you?” I don’t say anything. This is when he gasps, “They didn’t? Oh, that’s horrendous!” “I guess...” “That’s not right at all! Friends should be sticking together and helping each other, much like how I’m doing right now.” I finally sit up and look over at him. Discord. His red eyes look like they’re glowing in this dark room. He’s just coiled up on the floor like a snake. He looks a lot longer than he usually does. I don’t know if that’s true or if he’s making himself look like that. It doesn’t matter. “What’s your stupid proposal?” I have to ask. “Well, it’s hardly stupid. I just want to be friends! Would that be so bad?” I think about this. I guess it can’t hurt. Besides, I’m pretty sure he’s been reformed now. “Sure, I guess.” I’m not sure if I’m saying yes to his proposal or if I’m agreeing that this could be pretty bad. “But now, you have to promise me that you won’t tell anypony.” “Wait...why?” I don’t know why he wants this to be a secret. If he’s not evil anymore, why does it matter? “Oh, you know how the ponies are. They always believe I’m up to no good.” “Well...you kinda are.” “Blah blah blah, that’s in the past!” I sigh and scratch the back of my head. “Okay.” “Splendid!” he flies up and throws his arms in the air. Then he puts his claws on his hips, “Now, Spike. As your new friend, I’m completely willing to help you with your Rarity problem.” “Really?” I sit up straighter and I feel my tail wagging like a dog. “Of course. I am a god, after all. All I have to do is snap my fingers and that pony will fall head over hooves for you.” “Oh, please please please! Could you really do that?” I’m trying not to get too excited, but it’s so hard to contain myself. “Certainly! But, Spike...” He pauses and flies closer to me so that our snouts are almost touching, “...I need you to do a quick favor for me.” The Rise of FeatherweightIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ So, I open my eyes and squint because of the sun rays through my window. I can smell breakfast being made downstairs. I sit up and stretch out my arms with a yawn. I wonder if the other ponies are staying to eat with us this morning. I blink a couple times and rub my eyes to get the crud out. This is when I feel like I want to throw up. I’m thinking about last night with Discord. I can still feel his hot breath when he asked me to help him. I really don’t know if I’m up to it. I mean, I really like Rarity...like, a lot. But is it really worth it? “Spike? Rise and shine! Get out of bed!” Twilight’s calling me now. I sigh and grumble, because nopony needs to be awake this early after what I just went through. “Comingggg....” I manage to groan. I slide out of bed and give my body one more good stretch. When I loosen back up, I see something new in my room. My mouth turns dry, and I start thinking all kinds of thoughts. Like, did anypony see this in my room? Who put it here? What are they trying to tell me? I walk over to my bookshelf and stare at the stuffed animal that’s showing off its teeth. It looks just like Discord. I almost start to think that maybe it is Discord. Maybe he’s watching me. Maybe he’ll always be watching me. “Spikeeee?” Twilight’s getting tired of waiting. I start planning lots of ways that I could get rid of the thing. I could just take it out back and scorch it. Easy. “Just a second!” I call back. It wouldn’t be that easy. Discord might think that I’m cutting off our deal, and then who knows what would happen to me? ___________________________________________________ Breakfast is really weird. Not the food. The food is really good, but like...I’m just waiting for Twilight to ask about my date like she said she would. She either forgot about the whole thing or it’s taking her a long time to get around to it. She keeps looking at me for a long time, and then she looks away when I notice it. Maybe she knows about Discord? “So, Spike.” my tail starts wagging because I’m really nervous. “Mhm?” “Today is Princess Celestia’s birthday.” “Oh! Uh, I forgot about that.” I fake a laugh and look down at my plate. “As usual, we’ve been asked to help with the preparations.” She’s talking about the big party that they have at the castle every year. The mane six is always asked to help set up these things. This year is the first time that I’m thinking about declining the invitation altogether. “Hey, Twilight?” I fiddle with my thumbs. She just tilts her head and waits for me to talk, “I can tell you anything, right?” “Of course!” she brightens up, and that kind of makes me feel better about everything. I cough in my fist and take in a long breath. “Well, Discord’s back-” “Spike!!” Twilight just slams her front hooves on the table, “I thought I could trust you!” I don’t know what to say, so I just stare at her. That’s when I notice a long snaggletooth coming out of her mouth, and it looks like her eyes turned red too. “What...?” That’s all I can say right before there’s a purple explosion. Nothing gets knocked back, but there’s a gust of wind and everything just looks like its had purple dust thrown on it. I’m already trying to think of ways to explain this to the other ponies. I never thought I’d see the day when Twilight explodes in a purple cloud. “Oh, Spikey Wikey. I expected better from you.” The voice on the other end of the table isn't Twilight’s anymore. I cough and wave the purple dust out of my face. It’s all over the table and on the floor. It just kind of blends in with my scales, though. When the air clears up, I see Discord reclining in the air. He’s got this smug look on his face like he’s completely in control. “Where’s Twilight?” I clear my throat again and wave in front of my face. “Oh, there never was a Twilight. Not this morning, at least. Not here.” “What do you mean?” he’s not making any sense. “I mean that your precious pony friend is already at Celestia’s castle, helping with the festive decor.” He smiles and I can see that snaggletooth again. “Why?” I can’t think of anything else to say. “Because there’s a PARTY!!” he spins around in the air and bursts of confetti shower the purple dining room. “No...why’d you play this stupid prank on me? I have enough to deal with already.” “Oh, come now. You need to trust me. I wouldn’t have devised this magnificent charade if it wasn’t for your own good.” I sigh and shake my head. I can’t even think of what to say. “Spike, I needed to know that you wouldn’t tell anypony about our little deal.” he folds his arms, “Clearly, I was right to be suspicious. You didn’t even last nearly as long as I had hoped. Tsk, tsk, tsk.” “Shut up.” I look away and huff. “Not until you promise to be on your best behavior at the birthday party.” “Why should I? I can just tell Celestia everything and you’ll be gone.” I’m finally starting to feel like I have some control over him. “That may be true, but I’ve adopted a new policy. You see, toying with your little ponies has too often ended in my defeat.” and before he finishes what he’s going to say, he snaps his fingers and disappears in a flash. “Wait, where did you...” I can’t even keep talking when I feel that hot breath again on the back of my neck. “Let me put it this way. It will be rather difficult for you to say much without a head or a tongue.” I can feel his sharp nails cutting into my arm, “I’ll always be with you, dear Spike. Utter a single word, and I’ll lash out. You'll be first, and then your lovely Rarity will follow. The rest will end in bloodshed.” There’s a bright light and I have to shield my face with my claw. I see an image of Discord sitting on the throne in Celestia’s castle. All of the ponies are bowing down to him. I don’t know if I’m watching this happen or if I’m a ghost. I try to pick out all of the ponies in the throne room. I see Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. They all look miserable. I wish I knew where Twilight and Fluttershy were. I already know where Rarity is. It’s probably the worst part about everything I’m seeing right now. I don’t wanna talk about what I’m looking at. Thank Celestia she’s not alive to see her beautiful self being treated like this. Discord doesn’t even look like Discord anymore. He looks like something that would give birth to someone like Discord. He’s just looking down at all of these ponies like he’s their king. Then he snaps his fingers and there’s another flash. When I look up, he’s floating above the dining room table again and looking like his usual silly self. I almost missed him. “So we still have a deal? I’d rather we didn’t have to resort to such harsh methods.” he puts his claws on his hips. I’m trying to catch my breath. I’m caught in between tackling him or just shutting up and crying. I guess what I really want is to make him go away, so I decide to play by his rules for now. “Okay. I’m sorry.” I hang my head in shame. The other ponies would be disappointed in me. “Wonderful! I’ll be watching you at the party!” he flies up to me and pats me on the head, “Try to have a good time, now.” and he vanishes in another flash. I open my eyes and the house is back to normal. There’s no more purple, and there’s no more Discord. Well...not exactly. I look in front of me and I can see that stupid stuffed animal sitting in the other chair across from me. One of its red eyes winks at me. _____________________________________________________ The party starts in another couple of hours. We’re still trying to get everything perfect for tonight. Thoughts of Discord still haunt me. It hasn’t really soaked in yet. This Discord isn’t the same prankster that we were all familiar with. This one is a lot more violent, and it feels like he isn’t afraid to get his claws dirty this time. But still...I have to try and believe that he’ll help me with Rarity. After that, he’ll go away. “Spike, ya made it!” I hear Applejack coming up from behind me. I turn around and try to keep my cool. “Heh, yeah. I kind of overslept a little.” “A little? We went and tried everything just to wake yer lazy bones!” she laughs, looking over at some ponies that are balancing on ladders to pin up a giant ‘Happy Birthday’ banner, “Ya think she’ll like everything?” “She always does.” I cross my arms watch the hardworking ponies with Applejack. I keep my eye on a small one that’s at the very top of the ladder. It looks like he’s trying his best to reach over and pin the banner to the wall, “Do you know where Rarity is?” Applejack looks away and up like she knows something I don’t. “She, uhh...didn’t feel like comin’ tonight.” she says quickly. I already know the answer when I’m about to ask my question. “What’s wrong?” “Bad hair day, she said.” she keeps saying all of this like she knows it’s my fault, “So, what all have ya done to help out so far?” Applejack and I don’t look at each other while we’re talking. I can’t tell if she’s talking about Rarity’s hair or the party decorations, so I just go with the decorations. “Oh, you know.” I shrug. There’s an awkward pause. I almost want her to laugh so that she thinks I’m joking or something, but it’s the truth. Luckily, the uncomfortable silence is broken when that little worker pony falls off the ladder. He crashes into a bunch of equipment and the ladder follows him all the way down. The racket can be heard bouncing all over the castle walls. “Oh, shoot! Uh, I’m comin’!” This is when Applejack darts in that direction, but not before she looks back at me and says, “Ah’ll be right back, Spike!” I just sigh. I can’t try and act like any of this is exciting. I have a lot of other stuff on the brain. Speaking of other stuff... I look around and make sure that nopony’s watching me. It looks like the ladder accident has everypony distracted, so I slide out of the room and hurry down some long hallways. I hope I can remember which way it is. It’s been a while since I’ve had to actually find it, because I usually just stay home and deliver all the letters magically. That’s when I stop and look up. The throne room’s double doors almost stretch to the ceiling. I can’t waste any time. Anypony could trot by at any second, so I rush into the door and use all my strength to try and make them budge. One of the doors starts to inch forward. That’s good enough. I slip through the open crack and look around. It’s so weird to be in here without Princess Celestia’s permission. Every step I take on her red carpet feels like something stolen. I look to one side and I see the stained glass windows. Each one tells a story about something big that happened in Equestria. I can’t help but think that maybe my story will make it on one of those windows after this is done. I’m getting closer to the bejeweled door when I remember something. The Elements of Harmony are sealed by a spell that only Celestia can break. I should have thought about this when Discord asked me to do this in the first place. What am I supposed to do now? I’m worrying so much about the door that I almost don’t notice it glowing brightly. The room starts shaking and I have to keep myself from falling on my face. Can everypony hear what’s going on? How am I gonna explain this to them? Before I can come up with an answer, the door flies open. I guess everything makes sense. Discord stole the Elements last time, so he could easily do it again. But he needs my help, because Celestia’s new spell won’t let him lay a claw on the Elements. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...” I flinch and squeal a little when I hear an army of ponies singing in another room. It sounds muffled and really far away. I guess that means nopony knows I’m here yet. Inside this chamber, I can see the chest that holds the Elements. All I have to do is grab it and go. Just grab it and go, Spike! Just tell Twilight you got bored and went home. Nopony can prove anything. There’s no evidence. Just hide the Elements really well and nopony can trace this back to you. Just do it! “...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR CELESTIAAAA...” I gulp, fill up my lungs with air...and make a run for the hallway. I can’t do this. It’s so wrong! I should’ve just screamed and called for Twilight when Discord showed up at the sleepover. I run as fast as my little legs can carry me. The party starts in just a few minutes. I don’t even think to close the doors behind me. “...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU!” Everypony in the ballroom finishes their song and stomps their hooves. It feels like every single pony in Equestria was invited tonight. I’m having trouble just walking around the room. I have to squeeze between flanks and apologize to ponies I’ve never seen before. All I’m trying to do is find Twilight so I can tell her that I’m leaving. Then I hear somepony tapping on a microphone. The sound of it pulses through the room, and then somepony coughs into the microphone. “Princess Celestia never fails to impress. Whether it’s her undeniable beauty or her fearless attitude, the princess gives promise to the ponies-” I start blocking it out after that. It’s just some stallion giving a speech about how great Celestia is. I don’t recognize the voice. I don’t really care. All I want right now is to find Twilight, but all of these ponies are practically trees in a jungle. I eventually throw my claws in the air and give up. Nothing’s going right tonight. “Are you okay, Mister Spike?” I look around when I hear my name. The voice sounds like it could be coming from a mouse, “Down here, Mister Spike!” I look down at the floor and see a small pegasus pony. His big, brown eyes almost take up his whole head. I almost wanna ask him if he’s eaten anything today, because his legs look like they can barely hold him up. He brushes a hoof through his brown mane and laughs. “Gee, I’m almost as big as you!” he says this without looking at me in the face. I guess he’s pretty shy. “Uhh, yeah. Do I know you, little guy?” I have to ask. “I know you, Mister Spike! You live with Twilight Sparkle!” “Well...yeah, I do. What’s up?” “I’m a photographer!” he bounces a little. I don’t know how I missed the giant camera hanging around his neck. I can see myself in the big lens. I look pretty fat. I hope that’s just the lens and not my eating habits. “Oh! That’s pretty cool.” I try to sound like I’m really interested in this pony. “Yup! I wanted to take a picture of Princess Celestia...” he stops looking happy and looks down at the floor. He starts to trace the tiles with his hoof, “...I’m too little and I can’t see her very good.” I nod and cross my arms. I know how he feels, I guess. I can hardly get anywhere in this crowded room. And then something weird starts happening. I start thinking about Rarity. And then I start thinking about this little colt and his picture of Celestia. Looking back on everything, I just really want Rarity to like me. And this little guy just wants his picture so he can put it in the paper. I feel like maybe we can both get what we want, no matter how hard it is. So I shake my head and make up my mind. I walk away from everything and I head back to the hallways. The little pony squeaks a little bit and causes me to turn around. “Where are you going?” he looks like somepony just took his camera and smashed it in front of him. I just laugh and cup my claws around my mouth. “Use your wings!” I call out to him. I think he forgot that he’s a pegasus pony. The frown on his face flips upside down again. His little wings start flapping fast and hard, and then he slowly rises off the ground. “Oh yeah! Thanks, Mister Spike!” he waves at me and flies higher. I give him one more smile and turn back to the long halls. It doesn’t take me long to find the throne room again. All of the doors are still open, just how I left them. I quickly head inside the chamber, snatch the chest from its pedestal, and tuck it under my arm. After that, I’m already running for the front doors. I should make a living out of this whole stealing thing! CRASH I run straight into a pony around a corner. There’s a blinding flash, followed by the sound of camera shutters, and then I tumble to the floor. “Ow, ow, ow! Oh, gee! Mister Spike! I’m so sorry! I was just looking for you-” “It’s okay, little guy.” I slowly get up and dust myself off. The photographer looks more excited than before. “Spike, Spike! I got the picture! I did what you said and I flew really, really high! She looked right at me and smiled for the camera!” he keeps bouncing off the floor. “That’s good.” I can’t even act like I care this time. I’m just looking around myself to try and find that chest. Oh, there it is. I rush over to it and swipe it from the floor. “Hey, what’s that?” the little guy tilts his head to the side. “Uhh...just some stuff. Hey, I need to go. Keep taking pictures!” I yell before I turn and zip through the front doors. “...Mister Spike?” The Mind Reading SpiderIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ I can’t sleep. I’m just pacing around my room. I stop every now and then to glance at the chest containing the stolen Elements. “Really, Spike, it isn’t healthy to work yourself up like this.” As usual, Discord’s acting like he actually cares about me. I can see through his sharp smile, though. He’s getting me caught in something big, and I don’t have the guts to fight back. I should have told Celestia everything when I was at the party. “Don’t even talk to me.” I cross my arms and stare at a corner of the room. “Why so glum? You did an excellent job!” “Just shut up.” “Actually, you really surprised me. I didn’t think you’d go through with the plan.” “Well, you got what you wanted.” “Very true!” he flies up behind me and pats my head, “I’m so proud of you, Spikey Wikey.” I throw my claw behind me and swat him away. “Why do you keep calling me that?” “I thought you liked it..” he actually looks a little hurt, but I have to remember that this is Discord. “Well, cut it out. That’s Rarity’s thing. Just call me Spike.” he shrugs and throws himself on my bed. “Have it your way.” it almost looks like he’s about to fall asleep when he curls up on the sheets. “So, is that it?” I take a few steps in his direction. He opens one eye and grins. “Ah, yes. My end of the deal was not forgotten.” he sits up and spawns a little figurine that looks like Rarity, and then he does the same thing for one that looks like me, “In seven hours’ time, the sun will rise. And as reward for your crime, shall you receive love’s surprise.” and he chooses this moment to have the two action figures hug each other while he makes sloppy kissing noises. “Well...good. Just don’t play any jokes on me this time, okay?” He doesn’t get a chance to answer because we both hear the front door burst open from downstairs, followed by the the trampling of hooves on hardwood floor. “Spike!! Spike? Spike, are you here?” It’s Twilight. She must have come straight from the party after word got out. Ugh, I can already see the headlines. I’ll have to remember to stay away from the papers for the next few weeks. I look over at Discord and his eyes have gotten wide. I think he might really be worried. “Spike...” he whispers, “If she sees any of this, you know I’ll have to become violent.” I’m already pushing the chest into my closet while he’s advising me. At first, I don’t really understand why Discord is so worried about being seen. I mean, the Elements of Harmony are his now. He can snap a finger and turn Ponyville into a world of chaos all over again. So why all of this sneaking around? Twilight busts the door open and finds me lying on my bed. There’s no Discord, and there are certainly no Elements of Harmony. She looks like she just galloped a marathon. “Spike, where have you been?” I stretch and yawn. “Oh. Hey, Twilight. How was the party?” I roll away and face the wall with my window. “Why did you just leave all of a sudden?” “Got bored, I guess.” “Well, wake up!” she steps deeper inside, “Something terrible’s happened!” I have to sit up and look confused or else she’ll suspect something. “Really? Uh, w-what’s wrong?” “It’s the Elements of Harmony. Somepony’s stolen them right under our noses!” “Oh, no! Who would do such a thing?” I think I’m starting to overdo it. “That’s exactly what we’re trying to figure out. You didn’t see anything suspicious, did you?” “Huh?” “At the party. Did anypony seem different to you?” “Uhhh...I don’t think so.” I scratch my head and hope that she’ll leave, “Does Celestia know?” “Of course she knows. She’s the one who made the announcement before anypony left.” “Oh...well, uhh...maybe we’ll find em’.” “I sure hope so, Spike.” she moves to my window and looks out, “We’re going to get the girls together and perform a search through Ponyville. We’ll go further than that if we have to.” “Good luck with that.” She turns and glares at me. “Now’s not the time to be lazy. You’re coming with us.” “Alright, alright!” I groan and lie back down. “Get plenty of sleep for tomorrow.” Twilight says when she decides to finally head for my door, “I’ll be downstairs. I need to sort all of this out.” And then my door shuts. That’s when I hear Discord snickering from somewhere in my room. “She looked right at me. How did she not see?” _________________________________________ Let me tell you what happened after Twilight left. I never went to sleep. I would just sit on my bed and listen to Discord sing songs about times before I was born. It reminded me of how wise he actually was. I mean, under all the chaos and pranking, he actually knew a lot about Equestria. I guess he should, seeing how he’s been here for centuries. He would sing about love for one minute, and then he would sing about friendship. I wanted to ask him how he knew about those things, but I guess it actually calmed me down to listen to him. I hate to say it, but he really had a nice voice. The sound of the rain hitting our roof made me tense, though. I figured that I would be fine as long as it didn't start thundering. FLASH I jumped when I saw the lightning outside my window. I threw the bed sheets over my face and waited for the rumbling of the storm. Discord stopped singing when the thunder started shaking the house a little. I think he only stopped because he saw me hiding, though. Before the lightning and the thunder, he would kind of look over at me and keep singing. But now he can probably see how scared I get when there’s all this noise outside. I can still remember feeling the bed shift around when Discord crawled next to me. At first, I yelled out and tried to push him away, but he just got closer and wrapped his body around me. I wanted to scream, but his tail was in the way of my mouth. I thought maybe he was about to kill me. “Shhh, you don’t want Twilight to hear, do you?” he whispered close to my ear so that I could feel how hot and wet his breath was. I was panting at that point, still wriggling around to get free, “Really, Spike, you become so flustered during these storms.” He chuckled and snapped his finger. I didn’t know what to expect when I heard that. When Discord snaps his fingers, anything can happen. But nothing bad happened to me. I was still in my bed. Discord was still wrapped around me. The rain stopped, though, so I guess that’s all he did. Some droplets were still dripping from outside my window, but no more rain fell down from the sky that night. When I sighed with relief, I guess Discord felt like it was safe to uncover my mouth. That was when he started petting me. Yeah, I thought it was really weird. This wasn’t like him at all. I felt like he should’ve had better things to do than cuddle with a little dragon nobody like me. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that he was up to something. It just took me a long time to figure out what it was. But anyway, that’s what happened when Twilight left. _________________________________________ Right now, the sun’s starting to rise. The birds are all chirping and waking everypony up for the big day. Yeah...the only thing big about today is that it’ll be a big waste of time. Twilight wants us to go around Ponyville and look for the Elements, but nopony’s gonna think about looking in my closet. It’s kind of scary to think about how easy it was to steal them so easily. At the same time, it’s kind of a rush. I still remember how excited I felt when I snatched them from Celestia’s castle. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that I’m starting to get greedy again. “Good morning, Spikey Wikey.” I almost punch Discord right in the snout for calling me that, but then I remember that Twilight had sent me to Rarity’s house this morning. I guess I was too busy thinking about the stormy night that I forgot where I am. I’m supposed to tell her about the search party. “Oh, good morning...” I step through her door and she closes it behind me. I have to shake my head a lot to try and wake up. I’m still groggy from last night. “Are you alright? You seem a little...off.” she trots ahead of me and pushes a chair in my direction. I don’t have a choice, because I practically fall into it from exhaustion. “I’m tired...” I say into the arm of the chair. “Well, I can see that.” she almost laughs. “You don’t hate me, do you?” I slowly sit up and rub my eyes. “Hate you? Why, what would prompt such a silly question?” I can’t tell if she’s being snarky or if she really has gotten over it. “You know...the hair thing.” She sort of stares at me for a little longer before blowing up with laughter. “Oh! No, no, no, Spike. I don’t hate you for that. I mean...” she stops herself and looks to the side, “I mean, yes, it was rather embarrassing, but...no. No, I could never hate you, darling.” I smile a little and look at her mane. It’s back to normal, somehow. “Hey, your hair looks better already!” “Hehe, well...it’s a wig. But thank you, Spike.” Then I just feel bad again. “So, tell me all about the party!” she leans in and gets all giddy. I’m not sure what to tell her. I know how bad she wanted to go, and I don’t wanna sit here and talk about how fancy it was. Plus, I can’t just tell her that I went and stole the Elements of Harmony. “Eh, I dunno. I didn’t stay long at all.” “Really?” she tilts her head, “Why is that?” I shrug, “Just didn’t seem fair if you couldn’t be there.” “Oh, Spike...you’re too sweet.” she smiles and just keeps looking at me like she wants to tell me something really important, “I suppose I did overreact about my hair that night. I didn’t mean to upset you.” “It’s okay.” I wave a claw at her. “No, really. It was wrong; it was absolutely atrocious behavior.” I can’t think of anything to say, so I just keep listening. She’s getting really into it. “Nopony says it often enough, Spike, but...” Rarity looks down like she’s about to start crying, but then she looks up again, “...you really are a good dragon. Please don’t let anypony tell you anything different. Promise me that.” My cheeks feel really warm right now and I can’t help but smile really big. “Y-You’re not just saying that?” “Of course not! You’re one of the most considerate ponies...err...” she laughs and hides her face. That makes me laugh too, “No, really...” she catches her breath gets serious again, “What I’m trying to say is that you’re absolutely divine, Spike. I don’t know why I never realized it.” I sit here and try to let that soak in. She’s dishing out more compliments than usual. Everything she’s saying is borderline romantic. Does this mean that Discord was telling the truth for once? Is...Rarity falling in love with me? Everything stops for a second. I fall through my chair like a ghost. I fall through the floor like a ghost. I fall through the ground. Through the earth. Through Equestria. I black out. My heartbeat is the only sound, and it starts beating faster. I can feel my scales warming up. It’s like I’ve hopped into a bath that’s too hot. But it doesn’t sting or burn. It wraps around me like a blanket, like I’m being held by the mother I never had. That feeling of belonging somewhere. I’ve never felt it before. It’s Rarity. It’s always been Rarity. It doesn’t matter where life takes me. When I’m with Rarity, I feel like this. And maybe she’s finally understanding that. That’s when Discord ruins the moment and taps my shoulder. As soon as I feel his presence, I skyrocket to the ceiling and cling to a chandelier. “You?!” I scream with my eyes tightly shut, “W-What are you doing here?! Um...uh...Rarity, go get help! I don’t know anything about this, I swear!” “Spike, do calm yourself.” I open my eyes and I’m floating back down to my seat, “Your precious Rarity left the room to fetch some tea. I waited for the right moment to step in.” When my butt hits the soft chair, I start to relax. Discord isn’t lying, because Rarity is obviously not in the room anymore. Plus, it looks like he stole her seat. He’s reclining and sipping from a cup of his own tea that he probably just now spawned. “Enjoying yourself?” he gives me this drunk smile that looks all-knowing at the same time, like this is just a game to him. “What do you mean?” I ask him, but I feel like I’ve asked it a hundred times with no real answer. “Spike?” I hear Rarity’s voice echoing from the kitchen, “Why were you yelling? Who’re you talking to?” “Uh...um, nopony! Just...I was just...” my heart feels like it can’t beat any faster without coming loose and bouncing around my insides. “Psst.” When I hear that, I look over at Discord and I can see that he’s about to whisper something, “You saw a spider.” “Oh! I...I saw a spider!” “A spider? Is that all?” she sounds like she doesn’t believe me. Discord nods and sips from his cup again. “Yeah, yeah! A big one!” there’s a pause before I can hear her laughing. “Well, I do hope you didn’t make a mess.” I sigh and try to let the conversation between me and Rarity die. I don’t want her trotting through here with the spirit of chaos making himself home in her living room. “Sounds like she’s taken quite a hefty liking to you.” Discord says this while resting his chin on his lion paw and his elbow sitting on the arm of the chair. From top to bottom, he just really looks like he’s up to something. “Yeah, I guess.” I sound a little more bored than I mean to. It makes him wave his talon at me. “Oh, don’t downplay what’s going on here. You know what’s going on here.” I take a second before answering. I’m crossing my arms and I’m not looking at him. Yeah, I know what’s happening. It’s just hard to admit it. I’d like to believe that everything happened naturally. It makes me nauseous to think that Rarity is reading from a script, that Discord’s strings are guiding her hooves around the house. “Yeah, so?” I huff and keep glaring at the carpet. “So let’s see a glimmer of gratitude, shall we?” he actually sounds a little upset. “Thanks.” I make it as dry as I can. I think it struck a nerve, because this makes him growl and throw his arms up in the air, along with his cup of tea. It crashes against the wall and bits of debris fly out in all directions. I almost cover my face from all the flying pieces, but then everything starts happening in reverse. All of the wreckage regroups back to the wall, the moment of impact. From there, the pieces reassemble themselves until there’s a cup zipping back to Discord’s talon, which snatches the cup in midair like the whole thing was choreographed. It was like nothing had happened. “I see you’ve been doubling your dose of Twilight’s books. Your vocabulary has vastly improved, Spike.” Discord says this while sipping his tea again. “Huh?” It takes me a minute to think about what he means by that. He’s either being sarcastic or...was he reading my thoughts? “On the contrary, I still am.” he can’t say this without chuckling first, but right now I’m starting to feel like I’m losing all of my privacy, “I wouldn’t worry yourself, Spikey Wikey. I don’t plan on being here for very long. Well...not physically, anyway.” “Look!!” I hop out of my chair and clench my fists, “Stop calling me that! I want you to just get out of here! I’m trying to have some quality time with Rarity! Can you just go away for ten minutes or something?!” Discord’s eyes get really big, and then he just relaxes. His eyebrows drop really low so that he’s narrowing his eyes. It’s like he finally knows how things are, but he doesn’t look very happy about it. “I think I’ll give you a day or two to think about your attitude.” he says this like a teacher would say to a trouble-making student, and then he just snaps his finger and flashes out of the room. I don’t even have time to blink. “Spike, are you still talking to that awful creature?” Rarity comes in from behind me. I turn around and I can see that she’s levitating two cups of tea on either side of her. I’m not sure if she’s talking about the spider or if she knows that Discord was just here. I decide to play it safe. “Heh, yeah...that darn spider.” I scratch the back of my head and look down. I can feel myself turning red in the cheeks. Rarity just smiles. Maybe she really doesn’t suspect anything. “Well, I hope that’s the last time we see him.” she says this while heading over to her chair, the one that Discord was sitting in just seconds ago, “There you go, darling.” she levitates one of her teacups my way. I don’t waste any time and I grab a hold of it as soon as I can. I really just think I’m afraid that it’ll fly away and crash into something if I don’t hold it close. I don’t even like tea all that much, but I slurp the surface just to be polite. “So, tell me.” she pauses and adjusts her wig with a hoof. Her tone sounds a lot more dark and serious, “Do they have any leads on that vile thief?” “Hm? Thief?” I get a little too defensive, “I don’t know anything! Wait, what are you talking about?” Rarity tilts her head and squints, “You mean...you haven’t...?” she laughs and shakes her head while looking down at the floor, “I’m sorry, I just thought you knew. I suppose it does make sense. You did say that you didn’t stay very long, is that right?” I can feel the teacup trembling in my claw. I’ve never tried so hard to take even breaths of air. Luckily, all of this adrenaline keeps me talking. “Oh! The Elements of Harmony!” I fake a chuckle and wave at her, “I didn’t know what you were talking about for a second. Yeah, yeah, uhh...yeah, Twilight actually wants to snoop around town for any clues and stuff. She wants you to come with us.” Rarity nods very slowly and her eyes wander to one side of the room. “I suppose that’s why you’re here, then?” “Yup!” I slurp some more of her mop water tea. I feel like I said something wrong, but I’m really just trying to stop talking about the recent theft, “So, you wanna help us out?” I can tell that she forces a smile, “Oh, of course! I just need to...clean the kitchen, but...yes, of course. I’ll head straight to the library after I freshen up.” she takes our cups and heads to the kitchen, “You can stay and wait if you like.” she adds before leaving the room. I just sit in my chair and look up at the chandelier. I look over at the corners of the ceilings. All four of them. My eyes crawl down the walls. I suddenly look over my shoulder, and then I look over my other shoulder. I’m still being watched. I wipe my mouth with my arm and try to ignore the aftertaste of the tea. I try to ignore the elephant in the room, the eyes that I can feel through the back of my neck. It’s like an itch that I can’t reach. But I try to think about other stuff. In just a few minutes, I’ll be with the other girls. We’ll be on the hunt for the Elements that are in my closet. If I could, I would just stay right here and tell Rarity to stay with me. It’s the only thing I ever wanted out of this. Spike vs. JournalismIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ Everypony made it to the library. I didn’t really expect Rarity to actually come with me, though. I just feel like everything I do is rubbing her the wrong way. It doesn’t make any sense because she’s supposed to start falling love with me. I could have sworn it was working for a second there. It really was working, right? “Alright, girls.” Twilight helps me snap back to reality, “I want us to split up into groups so we can cover more ground.” Sure, that makes sense. Cover more ground. Whatever. As long as we get away from the library as soon as possible, let them split up as much as they want. “Now, wait a minute.” Applejack cuts in, “Before we all start trompin’ around town, Ah wanna know what everypony thinks about this here situation.” “Yeah!” Pinkie Pie bounces into the the group, “Like, why would somepony wanna take the Elements of Harmony? Who could be so mean and sad and crazy-” “I dunno!” Rainbow Dash interrupts and hovers above the ground while she punches the air, “But if you ask me, they’re about to get what’s coming!” Note to self: watch out for Dash. Fluttershy just looks around like she’s scared, “Um...maybe they just need a friend.” “Who knows?” Twilight moves to the middle of the circle, “Right now, we need to focus on finding clues before it’s too late. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, you two will look around town square.” And then the two ponies fly away in some other direction. “Applejack and Pinkie Pie, check out the marketplace.” And then they gallop away in another direction. “Rarity, you and I will investigate the-” “Hey!” I feel sick when I hear that little voice. The squeak that sounds like a mouse trying to get your attention. The three of us look down and see a frail pegasus pony on four shaking legs. There’s a familiar camera dangling from his neck. Twilight arches a brow, “Um...hello?” The small guy hops around and laughs, “Are you guys gonna look for the Elements?” Rarity smiles, “That’s simply adorable. Would you like to come along?” If I didn’t love that pony from head to hoof, I’d probably have already tackled her to the ground. Having this photographer on our backs is just going to make everything more risky. “Really!?” he looks like he’s about to explode, “Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!” “Hold on, Rarity.” Twilight steps forward. She must be able to read minds, too. She looks down at the little pony and narrows her eyes, “What’s your name?” “Oh!” he giggles and runs a hoof through his mane, “I’m Featherweight!” “Hm. Well, Featherweight, what makes you want to come with us?” “Uhh...um, I can take pictures and look for clues!” he jumps a little and laughs. “Oh, really?” Twilight sounds skeptical, “Are you sure you’re not looking for a good story to publish in the paper?” Featherweight freezes and his jaw slacks a bit. That’s when Twilight loosens up and laughs, “It’s okay. Maybe you can help us.” “Really? For real?” “Sure, why not?” she confirms, looking at me and Rarity like she’s thinking, “Who *is** this pony?”* “That’s so cool! Um, um...hey, where can we go? Where do you want us to go?” he smiles really big and shows off a pair of buck teeth. Twilight thinks and looks up at the clouds, “Well, I was thinking about sending Spike to Canterlot. Maybe you can go with him.” Yeah, I have to say something now. “Or!” I get everypony’s attention, and now I feel like I’m standing in a hot spotlight and I’ve forgotten my line, “Or....or, uhh...maybe he can go with you and Rarity.” Twilight grins, “Oh, don’t be silly, Spike. You can’t tell me that you want to investigate Canterlot all by yourself.” Maybe I do. “Besides...” she keeps going, “...Princess Celestia is expecting you. Your friend can look around the castle while you’re busy.” A shiver travels down my spine when I hear about the princess. “C-Celestia? What does she want with me?” “She wouldn’t tell me. I told her about our search party and then she asked for you, specifically, to visit her in the castle.” “Do I have to?” I can feel my teeth chattering. Twilight blinks, “She’s the princess, Spike. Of course you have to. Why?” “It’s just...” I stop myself and wonder if I should just spill the beans right here and right now. Discord said he would buzz off for a while. Maybe he’s not watching me, “It’s just that...maybe...” “Spike, do use your words, darling.” Rarity’s losing her patience. “I’m just nervous!” I yell out. It’s not really a lie, but it’s not really the whole truth, either. They both laugh. Twilight catches her breath and rubs an eye, “Oh, you’ll be fine. Maybe she just wants to see if you’re okay.” “Yeah...I hope so.” I look down at Featherweight, who’s been smiling this whole time like a foal at a carnival. “Anyway, everypony will meet back here at sunset.” Twilight turns and trots away. Rarity lingers and tells me, “Good luck.” before leaving. That’s when it occurs to me that they never told me where they’re going to search. No big deal, I guess. We’ll just meet at the library after Celestia talks to me, and then I’ll get to hear about how nopony found any clues. “Ready to go, Mister Spike?” the little photographer pipes up, making me want to punch him in the nose. I’m not an idiot. I know exactly what this little guy wants. Twilight even said it to his face. All he wants is a good story to get his name out there. He’s the last pony I need following me around. But I bite my tongue and just sigh. “Let’s go.” ___________________________________________ “You are now departing from..Ponyville.” The train ride to the fancy city of Canterlot is a long one. Mainly because Featherweight won’t leave me alone. He’s been sitting across from me and asking about my job as Celestia’s messenger. I told him that all I do is send Twilight’s letters to the princess, and vice-versa. But he wants more info. Just like any other journalist, he’s looking for something spicy or out of the ordinary for his newspaper. “So, is that all you do?” he tilts his head. He seems disappointed. “Yep. Pretty much.” “Wow...that’s really boring.” I claw at the seat beneath me and leave scratches in the soft material. “Are you okay, Mr. Spike?” “Sure.” I rub my temples because I’m starting to get a headache. “You don’t look like you’re okay.” “I’m really okay.” I say more directly. “So, who do you think did it?” “Did what?” “Stole the Elements!” he says excitedly like he answered a question correctly on a game show. “Hey, keep it down.” I say quietly and look around the train. Some ponies are already starting to look over here, but nothing major. Eventually, they go back to what they were doing. “Oh, sorry!” he says in a whisper, “So, who did it?” “How should I know?” “Well, you were holding the Elements of Harmony at the party, right?” I have to sit there and think if I really just heard those words come out of his mouth. “W-w-what? You...I didn't...uh...” He laughs like he just told a joke, but he keeps going along with it. “You know! At the party! I took your picture! See?” and he holds out a photo of me at the party, just like he said. I snatch it from him and try to get a closer look. I’m making a stupid face and my arms are all over the place. I think it was taken when I ran into Featherweight. But still, it’s clear as any other picture you would see in the morning paper. I’ve been caught red-handed by this pipsqueak. But I can’t let this happen. This won’t happen. So I rip the photo in half and then I tear the two pieces into four parts, and then I just keep shredding the pieces into little bits. “Hey, stop it!” he comes at me and scrambles to take the pieces from my claws, but I can see him coming before he can make it in time. I open the window to my right and toss all of the scraps outside the train. The wind carries them away, never to be seen again. When I close the window and sit back in my chair, I notice Featherweight pressing his face against the cold glass. “Why did you do that...?” he says before he starts crying silently, “That was...my best picture...you tore up my favorite picture, Mr. Spike!” But I don’t have any time to feel sorry for him. “Why did you have that picture!?” I raise my voice. I can’t help it. I’m just so angry right now. He turns to me and he has tears streaming down his cheeks, “I don’t know...” “Don’t lie to me! What were you gonna do with it?” “Your next stop is...Canterlot.” Featherweight tries to stop stammering and get his words out. “I w-was just...I w-w-wanna get a g-goo-ood storyy-y!” he hides his face behind his hooves like he’s ashamed. Good. I hope he’s ashamed. “Were you gonna show that to Celestia!?” I yell again. I don’t even look around to see who’s watching. He just nods. It takes every bit of my energy to hold back from attacking him. From here, I start whispering harshly. “Do you know what they’d do to me!?” He shakes his head, but he still won’t lower his hooves. “They’d take me away!” This is when he finally stops hiding and looks at me, “What do you mean...?” “Jail! I don’t wanna go to jail!” “So, you...you really did steal the Elements of Harmony?” “Yeah...I did.” I fidget when I finally admit it, “But nopony’s gonna believe you without proof, so just stop before you get any ideas.” “But they can’t arrest you, Mr. Spike! You’re the messenger dragon!” I know we’re both whispering, but I can’t help but worry that somepony’s gonna hear us and make a straight shot for the princess when the train stops. “It doesn’t matter. Anypony can get in trouble for something like this.” “Now arriving at...Canterlot. Have a nice day.” The train screeches to a halt and I use this time to swipe at Featherweight’s camera. He’s quick, though. He hops back and sits down in his seat where he’s out of my reach. I sigh and then I point a sharp finger at him, “Look. No pictures today. Got it?” His big, brown eyes are still watering. He nods his head in silence. “Actually...don’t ever take any pictures around me, and don’t take any pictures of me, either.” “Okay...” he looks scared. “Good. C’mon.” And the two of us step off the train. From here, we have the perfect view of Canterlot’s tall buildings and shiny streets. In the distance, we can both see our next destination, the royal castle. I swear...if I see a single flash, I’ll have another felony over my head. TreasonIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ “Halt, citizen! State your business.” the guard at the front gate looks straight ahead and doesn’t even give me a glance. “Um, it’s me...Spike? Celestia wants to see me.” I prepare for the worst and get ready to make a run for the train. The guard finally looks down and sees that I’m telling the truth. “Right. Sorry about that, sir. Just precaution during this time.” and he nods his head as a way of telling the other guards to open the gate. The castle hallways seem like a prison. I guess I don’t feel welcome here after what I did. At any moment, that royal guard is gonna call me from behind and come rushing at me. Celestia’s probably setting up a trap for me. Am I really that much of a threat to Equestria? Am I just as bad as Discord? All I want is Rarity to like me. Discord doesn’t want anypony to like him. Yeah, that makes me feel better. I’m nothing like the spirit of chaos. I’m just the only one around here that can do what it takes to get what I want. “Is that it?” I hear the mouse squeak once we get to a large pair of blood-red doors. “Yeah. Just keep your mouth shut.” I say as I move to knock on the wood, but the door swings open and smashes my snout. I stumble back and grab my nose with both claws to try and stop the throbbing pain somehow. I look up to see the idiot who rushed out of the room, and it’s the princess. “Oh, Spike. My apologies, I didn’t see you down there. Are you alright?” her motherly nature makes everything alright in a split-second. I almost forget why I was even afraid of coming to meet with her. “Celestia! Princess Celestia! Remember me!?” and then Featherweight reminds me. “Hm. Ah, of course. You were quite the photographer at my party, weren’t you?” she smiles and steps aside, “Please, come in. We were just discussing the current matters at hand.” Featherweight and I follow the princess into her throne room, but it’s not even close to what I expected. It looks like they added a huge round table in the middle of the hall. There’s a bunch of important looking ponies seated around the table. There’s probably at least twenty of them, chatting and leaning across the table to point hooves at each other. Their voices keep echoing in a big place like this, but it starts to die down a little when they see Celestia returning. That’s when I hear music coming from an old phonograph in the corner. There’s just the sound of a piano. I guess they use it to try and stay calm. “Everypony, I’m sure you all know Spike.” the princess lays a soft hoof on my shoulder and looks down at me. I give a nervous smile and wave at all of the ponies that are staring at me. They don’t say anything, and then they turn back to what they were doing before I walked in. “Those guys are mean.” Featherweight squeaks from behind us. I can feel the fire welling up in my throat and I almost turn around to unleash it all on the little pipsqueak. But then Celestia just laughs. “Don’t mind them. They’re just awfully grumpy about this mess we’re in.” she guides us to the table and sits in the biggest chair available. On her left is Princess Luna. On her right are two empty chairs, “Here, I’ve saved a spot for both of you.” I wanna ask her how she knew that Featherweight would be coming with me, but I decide to save that for later. I take my seat at the round table and so does the little photographer. Luckily, I haven’t seen him touch his camera so far. This would be the worst time to start snapping photos. “Construct new Elements!? Implausible!” I don’t recognize a lot of the ponies here. “Throw aside this constant inquiry at once!” But they’re quick to speak. “How does one...create new Elements of Harmony?” All of us look back and forth like we’re watching a tennis match. “You don’t!” “Celestia, what do you think?” The princess sighs and shifts her weight. “In my lifetime, I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of such a procedure. But why don’t we let our science division look into it? It may be possible.” The whole room erupts in confusion. “Now, now!” Princess Luna uses her loud voice to make everyone be quiet, “If my sister sees an opportunity, let’s not squander our time with petty bickering!” “Why are we trying to make new Elements!?” says a grumpy mare, “If we do that, then somepony will surely steal those as well!” “She’s right! We need to focus on identifying the traitor in our midst!” “We can all assume that the crime at hand was committed during the festivities.” “No doubt.” “Mhm.” “Yes, I suppose.” “List the names again.” “Once again, these names represent the ones that were allegedly not present for the wishing of Princess Celestia’s birthday; more specifically, nearing the end of the party in which we all sang to the princess.” The stallion catches his breath and keeps reading from a piece of paper on the table. “Queen Chrysalis and Discord, of course. Prince Blueblood, Rarity, Soarin, Spike, Spitfire, Big Macintosh, other various members of the Apple Family, Mayor Mare, Princess Cadence, Prince Shining Armor, Cheerilee, Fancy Pants...” He keeps going on and on until my eyelids start to feel heavy. I can’t fall asleep right now. It would look really bad. “This all seems very silly.” I recognize that pony. It’s Princess Cadence, “You can’t expect everypony in Equestria to be at a birthday party.” She must’ve been asked to come here from the Crystal Empire. Next to her is Shining Armor. I didn’t realize so many royal ponies were getting mixed up in this. “Well, what do you suggest the course of action should be?” says a random pony. Shining Armor stands up, “First, we should double the security on the castle grounds. This never would have happened if we had more guards on watch.” “Yes.” “Indeed.” “Very true.” Shining Armor looks to his wife and says, “You’ll need to go back and tend to things at home.” “You mean...” Cadence starts to speak softly, “...the Crystal Heart?” “I’m afraid so.” and then he looks to Princess Celestia, “Could we use the royal chariot for this occasion?” “Just a second, Prince.” a very old stallion tries to stand on all fours, “Why are you sending Mrs. Cadence away so quickly? Hmm?” “I agree.” another one chimes in, “Maybe you would like to tell us something?” “I just told you.” Shining Armor is already looking pretty pissed, “Princess Cadence needs to return home and protect the Crystal Heart. Have any of you stopped to think that this whole thing might be bigger than all of us?” The whole room shuts up after that. The only sound is the piano in the corner. “Shining Armor.” Princess Luna rises, “Do you truly believe that the culprit could be planning an attack on a large scale?” “I don’t know. I just believe that we should be ready for anything.” he looks over at Cadence and tries to force a smile. Finally, Celestia stands up too and says, “Everypony. While I appreciate all of your efforts, I think that will be all for today.” There’s another uproar of protest. All of the ponies start slinging spit while they scream and shout at the princess. A lot of the things they’re saying sound like this: “You can’t be serious!?” “You’re not taking this seriously!” “I missed my lunch to come here!” “Do you not see the treason under your nose!?” “We will surely burn for this!” I start to wonder if Featherweight should be hearing all of this. A lot of heavy words are being thrown around. Even Luna can’t silence everypony with her voice. But eventually, one of the grumpy ponies leaves the room, and even more pissy ponies follow him out the door until it’s just me, Featherweight, and all of the royal ponies. At this point, we’re all standing away from the round table and just trying to recover from the scene. “I’m sorry, sister.” Luna looks down, “I wish they had been more understanding.” “Ponies will be ponies, little sister.” Celestia just smiles and shrugs it off. “But...they could have chosen more suitable words to express their...distaste.” “Really, it’s fine.” Celestia laughs this time, “You know as well as I do that there will always be somepony who refuses to compromise.” “Are you sure you’re alright?” Princess Cadence speaks up this time. “Now, don’t worry about me. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. But your spouse was right today. You’re needed at the Crystal Empire.” Cadence smiles and looks to Shining Armor, “Yes, you’re right. He always has a plan.” The two share a moment of silence... ...but then the stallion cuts it short, “Should I leave by her side?” Princess Celestia’s expression darkens a little, “Not just yet. You were also right about the guards. I’ll need you to evaluate the castle’s state of security, especially during parties.” she says that last bit with a smirk. “Yes, ma’am.” Shining Armor says this before bowing his head. After that, all of the royal ponies leave except Celestia. “Spike, I’m sorry you had to see that. I thought we would be finished before you arrived.” “Oh, it’s cool.” I wave a claw at her, “But who were they? I’ve never seen em’ before.” She starts walking towards her throne, “Colleagues and associates. They like to believe that they have some power over Equestria. Truthfully, I like to see them tussle. Don’t you?” the princess laughs and sits at her throne. “Heh, yeah.” I don’t know what else to say. “Mr. Featherweight?” she calls down. The little guy scrambles around to stand up straight and throw his hoof to his forehead in a salute. Celestia covers her mouth with a hoof and giggles. “At ease, young sir.” she humors him with a grin and continues, “Now, Featherweight, I’m afraid I need to speak with Spike in private.” “Oh, cool!” he jumps and does a flip with the help of his tiny wings, “Is this like some kind of top secret mission?” “Hm. Yes, you might say that.” she tilts her head a little. Featherweight just floats there, gawking at the princess like he’s waiting for more info. “That means get outta here!” I say a bit louder than I mean to while I point at the doors. His head drops to the floor and he slowly flutters out of the room. I’m surprised that he remembers to shut the door behind him. Celestia breaks the silence by chuckling. “Spike, try not to be so hard on him.” I try not to roll my eyes, “Yes, ma’am.” "He really enjoys your company. You know that, do you not?" I sigh, "...yeah." The princess clears her throat and her voice becomes more stern, “So, what do you think about today’s hot topic?” I have to shrug. “I dunno. I mean, it seems really bad and all, but I don’t have any ideas or anything.” There’s an awkward silence after that. Celestia’s just smiling and watching me. I can feel my face turning red. “Spike, I never thought that you would take the Elements of Harmony.” I bite my tongue. She says it like she's impressed. She laughs again, “It’s alright. I know you must have a valid reason for such a brave act. I would like to know what inspired you.” Time stops for a second. Is this when I finally spill the beans? Can I really make this right by telling her everything? Can she help me? I don’t know for sure, but I have to try. I take in a deep breath and then I let it out quietly. I take one step towards the princess, and then I loosen my jaw. “Celestia...it’s all because of Discord-” CRASH! FLASH! I can’t see anything. I can’t hear anything. Okay, wait...I hear a ringing noise. I think maybe I heard glass shattering. I have to blink a few times. Something knocked me back. It was flying. It had wings. I heard his voice. No, wait. Scratch that. More than one voice. I can taste blood. I open my eyes. I see Featherweight standing over me. I guess I must be on my back. “Mr. Spike!” I think that’s the little guy talking... ...I can’t tell. It’s really fuzzy. “Mr. Spike, are you ok!?” I sit up and push Featherweight away so I can see what’s going on. I wish I hadn’t. She’s right over there. Her wings are broken. She’s not moving. Her eyes are open. Her mangled legs aren’t even twitching. Her chest isn’t heaving. Her crown is gone. There’s a trail of dark red that leads to the broken windows. I can feel the autumn air blowing in. And it smells nice. “Hey!!” I look to my left and see two royal guards standing at the open doors. “What did you-?” They can’t even find the words. Their eyes say everything. They say murder. They say prison. Life sentence. Death penalty. Execution. Friends with ExpositionsIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ The TV flickers and I can see two ponies standing on their hind hooves. They have a hoof wrapped around each other and they move in unison, almost like they’re the same pony. The last time I saw them, they were selling an automatic cider-making machine thing. Everypony in Equestria knows them as the Flim Flam brothers. It looks like the two salesponies are selling something new this time. “That’s right, folks!” Flam points to me. I think he’s the one with the mustache. “You heard it here!” and that one’s Flim. He looks like he might be younger than the other one. “For just five smackaroos, you can have your very own cone of our specially treated ice cream!” “Treated with what, you might ask?” “Flim, why don’t ya tell the folks at home how we do things around here?” “Why, we take the healthiest, strongest cows in all of Equestria and put em’ to work!” “No assembly lines here, no sir! Every cow, big and small, is given one-on-one care to ensure the best milk for your satisfaction!” “That’s a hundred percent fat free satisfaction, ladies and gentlemen.” “What a product, I say, what a product!” “And who else to get the first batch than the bright-eyed ponies of Ponyville?” “Oh, but dear brother, what’s the catch?” “No catch!” “But Flim, only five coins?” “You said it yourself, brother!” “No taxes?” “No taxes!” “Say, with such a great deal, Flim, I’d say the customers are robbing us!” They both laugh. “Why, Flam, a young colt’s smile is worth more than all the bags of money in Equestria!” “Very true, dear brother!” “So, if you happen to see us rolling through town...” “Don’t be shy!” “Come on by and say hi!” “We’ll even give you a scoop on the house!” “Hey, and don’t forget that every bit of the profit goes toward our up and coming carnival-” ZAP! The TV cuts to black and everything is quiet. I try to stand up without falling over. The shackles make my ankles red and sore. I scoot up to the bars that are keeping me from running away. They’re freezing cold when I grab onto them. The two guards ignore me and keep looking in the other direction. “Hey, uhh...I’m kind of hungry.” He just sniffs and focuses on the stone wall in front of him. I don’t know what else is down here because anything that isn’t lit by the torches is just hiding in the dark. I can’t hear anypony above us, either. I thought maybe I’d be able to hear life going on around me, but it’s just really quiet. I think maybe I’m starting to hear my own thoughts. I can’t remember how long I’ve been down here. At least they have a TV. They need to fix it, though. I think the guards left yesterday. I told them I was hungry a week ago. That’s when the TV broke, too. I was watching the Flim Flam brothers. I watched them again yesterday. They finally fixed the TV. Oh, here comes the commercial again. The TV flickers and I can see two ponies standing on their hind hooves. They have a hoof wrapped around each other and they move in unison, almost like they’re the same pony. The last time I saw them, they were selling the same thing that they’re selling now. “That’s right, folks!” Flam points to me. I think he’s the one with the mustache. “You heard it here!” and that one’s Flim. He looks like he might be younger than the other one. “For just five smackaroos, you can have your very own cone of our specially treated ice cream!” “Treated with what, you might ask?” “Flim, why don’t ya tell the folks at home how we do things around here?” “Why, we take the healthiest, strongest cows in all of Equestria and gut them like pigs!” “Assembly lines keep things running smoothly! Every cow, big and small, is given the sharpest of knives to ensure the best meat for your satisfaction!” “That’s a hundred percent boneless satisfaction, ladies and gentlemen.” “What a product, I say, what a product!” “And who else to get the first batch than the bright-eyed ponies of Ponyville?” “Oh, but dear brother, what’s the catch?” “No catch!” “But Flim, only five coins?” “You said it yourself, brother!” “No taxes?” “No taxes!” “Say, with such a great deal, Flim, I’d say the customers are robbing us!” They both laugh. “Why, Flam, a young drake’s tears are worth more than all the bags of money in Equestria!” “Very true, dear brother!” “So, if you happen to see us rolling through town...” “Don’t be shy!” “Come on by and say hi!” “We’ll even give you a scoop on the house!” “Hey, and don’t forget that every bit of the profit goes toward our recently deceased Princess Celestia!” ZAP! That commercial was a little different from the last one. I think I’m losing count of how many days it’s been. They haven’t fed me yet. They probably want me to starve. Would they really want that? I didn’t know that the ponies could be so casually cruel. Maybe this is just what happens to bad ponies, and maybe nopony sees it because the bad ones are just kept down here in a dungeon cell. Everypony else just goes on with their lives. Wow...things really are this way. I always looked up to Celestia, but I was always afraid of her. I think I always knew that she had the power to be strict and...and...um...I can’t think of the word. Ruthless! Yeah, ruthless. That’s it. Oh, here comes the commercial again. The TV flickers and I can see two ponies standing on their hind hooves. They have a hoof wrapped around each other and they move in unison, almost like they’re the same pony. The last time I saw them, they were selling the same thing that they’re selling now. “That’s right, folks!” Flam points to me. I think he’s the one with the mustache. “You heard it here!” and that one’s Flim. He looks like he might be younger than the other one. “For just five smackaroos, you can have nothing at all, I say, nothing but the skin on your flank!” “Nothing at all, you might ask?” “Flim, why don’t ya tell the folks at home how we do things around here?” “Why, we take your money!” “Your hard-earned dough keeps things running smoothly! Every coin, big and small, is taken for our satisfaction!” “That’s a hundred percent shameless satisfaction, ladies and gentlemen.” “What a scam, I say, what a scam!” “And who else to get hoodwinked first than the gullible ponies of Ponyville?” “Oh, but dear brother, what’s the catch?” “No catch!” “But Flim, no product for the customer?” “You said it yourself, brother!” “No effort?” “No effort!” “Say, with such a great plan, Flim, I’d say we’re robbing the customers!” They both laugh. “Why, Flam, money flows through the veins of every pony in Equestria!” “Very true, dear brother!” “So, if you happen to see us rolling through town...” “Don’t be brash!” “Give us your cash!” “We’ll even take your life savings!” “Hey, and don’t forget that every bit of the profit goes toward our pockets!” ZAP! That commercial was a little different from the last one. “Spike?” I turn my head to see who’s talking. “Are you ok?” That voice sounds like somepony I know. “Are they feeding you?” “Ma’am, we’ve been told to feed the prisoner in five minutes.” that’s one of the guards. “How long has he been here?” she asks. “An hour.” What? That can’t be right. “Spike, can you hear me?” the purple pony pokes her head through the bars. “Ma’am, he won’t speak to anypony.” “Yes, I can hear you!” I scramble to stand up and run to where the bars are, “Twilight!” “Spike, calm down...” she laughs a little. I almost don’t notice that I’m flailing to try and hug her through the narrow spaces between us, “Don’t worry, I’m here.” “I wanna go home!!” I scream like I want somepony on the surface to hear me. “It’s okay, just try to calm down.” “B-But Celestia’s hurt!” “Spike...” “It’s my fault!” “Listen-” “No, no! It really is! I made a deal and I just wanted Rarity to like me, honest!” “Spike, Celestia’s dead...she...” “...what?” “Yes.” “No, she’s not...” “It’s okay, Spike. Everypony’s very confused right now.” “She’s the princess...” “You were with her when it happened.” “Is she allowed to die?” “Tomorrow, a lot of ponies are going to ask you some questions. Just make sure you’re honest and we can hope for the best.” “How did she die?” “I brought some books about law and the royal court.” “Court?” “Have you been working on your stage fright?” “Wait, slow down..” “A lot of ponies are going to be watching you, but try not to worry.” “Twilight, listen!” “Yes, what?” “What if I killed her?” “Well...” she stops and looks down. We’ve been talking a lot with no breaks, so we both catch our breath. She doesn’t say anything for a long time. One of the guards coughs. My ankle starts to itch under the shackle, so I reach down and scratch it. My claws dig into my skin a little. I keep scratching there because it feels like there’s dried dirt stuck to my scales. I hear Twilight sniffing, but her hair is hiding her face. I think it’s finally real to her, that Equestria lost its mother. I’ve already cried about it. Now it just feels like a dream again. If it wasn’t for the blood trickling down my ankle and the pain from my claws, I’d still think this was a nightmare. “Twilight?” “She’s dead.” “I know...but what if it’s my fault?” “You said you killed her, Spike. I don’t know why you would...ever do something like this, but maybe it’s just a misunderstanding.” “But I think it really is my fault.” “What happened?” “It’s...I don’t know...” “You don’t know?” “No, it’s just that bad stuff happens when I talk about it!” “Talk about what?” “I can’t! I tried to tell her, but now she’s not moving anymore, and I dunno if I’m supposed to talk about it because I made a promise, and I don’t want you to stop moving either, so I can’t say anything, but it’s all because I wanted Rarity to like me...and now I’m alone down here and everypony hates me, but I didn’t mean to-” “Spike, that’s enough. You're cutting yourself.” Twilight makes everything quiet again. I can hear water dripping somewhere, and it echoes around us. I would have missed it if I’d kept running my mouth. “I’m just sorry.” I almost can’t get the words out. My voice is weak now. My legs start to wobble and I sit down. I can’t look at Twilight anymore. I’ve told her as much as I can, but it’s enough for her to realize that I’m responsible for Celestia. “Spike...I think you need to rest. The guards are coming with your dinner.” “Are you leaving?” “Just try to eat, read these books, and don’t think too much. You’re not yourself.” “Do you think I did it?” “Ugh...I don’t...know what to think...” “When are you coming back?” “The trial is being held tomorrow morning. You’ll see me then.” “Don’t let them kill me.” “Um...” Twilight shifts her weight. “I mean it, okay?” “I know you do. Just...be honest.” she forces a smile, “Nopony can hurt you right now.” Great. She knows exactly how deep I am. I can’t make another deal out of this one. This is how I die, I guess. I watch Twilight leave and hope that maybe she’ll turn back around to give me one more smile. Even the gems they feed me don’t taste right. Everything is weird right now. She was talking to me like I’m crazy. “Spikey Wikeyyyy, dear Spikey Spikey Wikeyyyyy. I trust that your attitude has finally softened by now?” that calm and smooth voice can be felt on the back of my neck. I’m done with his games. I don’t waste anymore time. I whirl around and punch him in the snout. He cries out and stumbles against the wall. He looks like he’s actually surprised, “Very violent tonight, I see.” “Well, that makes two of us, you...lying snake!” He snaps his fingers and poofs into a reclining position in the air. “Now, now. I had nothing to do with that extravagant escapade upstairs, I can assure you.” “Shut up! Celestia didn’t do anything to you!” “Oh, right, because being imprisoned within a stone tomb is hardly anything.” “That doesn’t mean you had to kill her!” “I’ve already explained the situation. I am innocent tonight, thank you.” “Stop lying!” “That’s right. It’s frustrating, isn’t it?” he stops reclining and hovers near me. He narrows his eyes and clenches his talon and his paw, “To know the truth when nopony will listen. I’m sure you’re simply writhing within those scales.” I take a step back. “What do you mean? D-Don’t get too close! Guards, guards! It’s Discord! He-” “Oh, stop. They’re upstairs, having an illustrious feast with no intentions of coming back down for quite some time.” he smiles and looks up at the ceiling, “It’s a wonder that they refuse to listen to Shining Armour, isn’t it? You’d expect a pony or two to stay and keep watch, hm?” and now he looks back down to me with his arms folded. “What do you want?” That makes him laugh for some reason. “Why? Why do you always assume I’m here to eat you?” “I didn’t-” “Not literally, you silly drake.” he sighs, “I’m not your enemy in this convoluted fairy tale.” “Then why did you kill-” “I could tell you who murdered Princess Celestia, but it really is too priceless. I figured I’d let you take a stab at it, yourself.” I don’t know if I can trust him. I think he’s trying to mess me up as much as he can. But if he’s out to get me, then why hasn’t he just finished me off? “Look...Discord...” He gets all giddy and clasps his paw with his talon. “Oooooh, say my name again! It’s so adorable when you say it.” I huff and place my claws on my hips. “Just listen! I don’t trust you right now...” He laughs really loudly. “Of course not!” and he wipes a tear from his eye, “After all, why would you ever trust the spirit of chaos?” “I dunno.” I get quiet and look at the wall, “I did for a little while.” “Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” he flies over and wraps his body around me. His talon lightly scratches the bottom of my chin, and I’m scared that he’ll slit my throat if I even breathe, “I haven’t forgotten about our deal, Spike. I have to admit, you hurt my feelings when you told me to leave. I couldn’t help but remove that spell from your precious Rarity as punishment for your attitude.” Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense. She started acting differently when he left. “Exactly. But let’s be honest with one another. You’ve suffered enough, so I’ll continue with this false love affair between you two.” he starts to loosen his grip around me, “However, I haven’t told a single lie tonight. I won’t help you in uncovering the true culprit behind poor Celestia’s demise. That’s up to you.” When he finally lets me go, he lounges on a hammock that he spawns in the middle of the cell. I don’t understand why he keeps toying with me. “Because it’s fun. A little chaos is good for the soul, dear Spike. But I believe that you can fight your own battle this time. Frankly, I’d like to see you trump this third party who’s framed you. He seems to think that he's going to get away with what he's done, and I have to say that I’m not impressed. Just sloppy work on his part; very sloppy.” He keeps putting the blame on this third party, whoever that is. But I guess I don’t have a choice but to hope he’s telling the truth. “Can I just ask one thing?” I finally say out loud. “Of course, go right ahead.” “Well...why did you want me to steal the Elements? I don’t think I ever asked.” Discord clears his throat and sighs, “Oh, Spike. It was merely a safety precaution. You couldn’t trust me and I couldn’t trust you. I can’t simply make ponies fall in love with you if there’s always a chance that you’ll squeal and get me in trouble, can I?” “I dunno...” “Come, now. You’ve already tried to rat me out multiple times. But with the Elements tucked away, it won’t matter, and that’s all it is. Safety first.” he can’t let that go without winking. “Well...” “And now I can help you, and you can help...well...I suppose you’ve already helped me win my freedom.” “But the Elements are still in my closet. I can just tell everypony where they are.” “You see, that would definitely put me in my place, but you’ll find that it won’t help anypony. I’ll be sealed away, you’ll take the blame for stealing the Elements of Harmony, and you’ll be put to death. Even worse, Celestia’s murderer will run free.” “Why can’t you just hide the Elements from me? They’re pretty much yours now.” “You seem to be forgetting that dreadful spell that Celestia placed on the chest. My touch has no influence on those precious gems.” This is a lot to take in, and I guess some of it is starting to make sense. On the bright side, it was starting to take my mind off of the trial tomorrow until just now. I keep imagining getting up in front of all those ponies and trying to clear my name. Maybe I could just pin everything on Discord. “You wouldn’t!” he gasps in a fake way. He’s right. It wouldn’t do anything. If everypony finds out that I was even involved with Discord, they might think I killed Celestia. But Discord said he’s innocent too. And if he’s telling the truth, then there’s somepony who wanted Celestia dead, and maybe I was just at the wrong place. “Now you’re getting it.” he smiles and gives me an approving nod. “Am I going crazy?” I have to ask. Discord just chuckles, “Not at all.” “Because that TV played some really weird stuff...” “Ah, yes. You didn’t find that humorous?” Not really, if I have to be honest. I found it damn terrifying. Discord shrugs. “Wouldn't hurt to lighten up.” he scoots over and pats the spot next to him, “Plenty of room on the hammock, you know.” I hesitate. “Well, don’t hesitate!” he playfully raises his voice, “You’ve got a long day tomorrow and you need to rest, after all.” “I’m scared...” talking about tomorrow. “Yes, yes, it’s to be expected.” I keep standing here until I feel my throat tighten up. “Now, now. No tears. Stop that crying.” I slowly walk up to the hammock and try to avoid his eyes. After everything he’s told me tonight, I still don’t know why he’s being so nice. Before I know what I’ve just done, I find myself lying with my back to him. He’s already lain his red tail over my stomach. It’s...kind of nice. I don’t feel so stressed right now. The hammock starts rocking back and forth. Discord chooses this time to hum a quiet song. My eyelids feel heavy. I feel like I’m floating through the air with...with this spirit of chaos who...trusts me. He trusts me and nopony else does. Not even Twilight. I think he’s my only friend right now. Or maybe he’s a really clever enemy. Is this brainwashing or just friendship? “Stop thinking so loudly.” OBJECTION!In Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ At first, I was scared about everything. When we actually got into the courtroom, I was still pretty scared. My feet felt cold and I was out of breath. Luna was the judge today and she wasn’t looking really happy to see me. When she announced my name and told everypony why we were all here, I was at my worst. Every heartbeat shook my whole body, no matter how hard I tried to keep still. When they called me to the stand, I felt like I was about to be shot and killed without a trial. I looked into the crowd and searched for friendly faces. I found Twilight. I remember how she gave me this kind of fake wave and a smile to match it. She’d lost all hope before I even walked in. But when the judge started talking about official courtroom stuff, I couldn’t help but daydream. That’s pretty much where I am right now. I’m thinking about my night in the dungeon with Discord. He was gone when I woke up. There wasn’t a hammock, either. I mean, having him next to me was pretty nice while it lasted, but I’m not a huge fan of waking up on a hard stone floor. He could’ve woken me up or something, I dunno. I’m just juggling all these thoughts in my head so I can forget about what’s really happening. Every now and then, I answer a question, but then the lawyer griffon guy looks over his glasses and keeps talking. He's kind of weird because he likes to walk on his hind legs the whole time. It’s not like you’re missing anything if I skip over this part. A lot of it just sounds like this: “And you’re sure you had no motive to harm our princess?” “Uh, yeah.” “So you did it in cold blood, yes?” “N-no.” “So you did have a motive, mhm?” “...no.” “Are you tellin’ these fine citizens that you don’t know?” “No, no! I mean...” “Suppose, if you will, that maybe it was...all a blur.” he waves his talons around like he’s talking to a baby. “But it was.” “Hush now, this here’s a hypothetical!” I don’t have a choice but to groan and slump in my seat. The courtroom isn’t what I expected. It looks more like a giant stadium where gladiators would fight or something. There’s a really shiny microphone on the stand in front of me so that everypony can hear my voice quiver. “If you have no memory of the account, then we can assume that you lashed out at the princess in a bloody rage, yes?” “No, sir...” “Shoot, boy, you expectin’ to keep avoidin’ the issue at hand, here?” “No...” The griffon scoffs and looks around for somepony to join him. Then he goes back to me and sighs. “Yep, I know you little dragons up and down, mhm. You boys ain’t nothin’ but trouble makers, yeah? I seen a bunch of you flyin’ around villages and shootin’ the place up in fire!” he illustrates the scene with his talons again. “I didn’t...” “Huh? C’mon, now, use that there mic, son!” I look down a little and remember that maybe nopony can hear me. Nopony can defend me. Nopony trusts me, probably. I can tell that I really am alone in this fight. I bet Discord’s hiding in a corner above us, eating popcorn and snickering. I tap the microphone two times and wait for the pounding echoes to die down before I lean forward. “I-I’m not like that.” and the whole place is filled with the sound of my trembling words. As soon as I say this, I can hear a lot of ponies talking around me. I can’t make out any of it. “Oh, hogwash! I done read up on that little hoarding episode of yours. It wouldn’t strike me as odd if ya wanted to hoard that crown for yerself!” “I didn’t! Honest! I don’t wanna hurt anypony!” I cry into the microphone for somepony to hear me and realize that this is all a big error. “Hmm. Yeah, you sure don’t look the type, do ya?” I think his glasses are finally starting to help those beady eyes. “But, still...we can’t let a book’s cover deceive us! Perhaps the only reason you even got close to the princess was by lookin’ all innocent, mhm?” I don’t wait very long to respond this time. I’m getting interested. “She wanted to see me. I didn’t have a choice...” “That so, huh?” “You can ask Twilight.” I point up to where I can barely see her purple form in the audience, “I didn’t even wanna go.” “Oh? And why would you ever try and avoid the princess, hm?” “Well...” I let my sentence hang there and float around the courtroom. “You had somethin’ to hide, didn’t ya? Mhm, you wanna share that with the court?” C’mon, think of something believable. “Um...lazy...” “Say what?” “I was tired. You can ask Twilight.” I point again. The griffon waves like he’s trying to shoo away the audience. “Look, we’re gonna keep this here questioning ‘tween you and me. That sound like somethin’ you can agree with it?” “Well, no...not really.” some of the ponies laugh at that. It feels like a small victory to me, but the griffon stands his ground. “I feel like you think this whole thing’s just one big skinny dip in the pond.” “Am I allowed to ask what that means?” “Yer pullin’ Equestria’s collective leg, boy!” “I’m...just telling the truth.” “Then show some pride, son! Tell it like it’s written in stone! Yer just sittin’ there, all hunched over like a dying dog!” “...sorry?” I really can’t think of anything else to tell this guy. Isn’t my lawyer supposed to yell at the griffon and help me out or something? Do I have a lawyer? I look over on the side of the room where my guy is supposed to be sitting. There’s just a little sign on the table that reads: BACK IN 10 MIN. “Yer not gonna be much help to us, are ya?” the griffon finally understands the situation, “Welp, get on down. I’m through with ya.” And so I hop out of my seat and make my way to that table with the sign on it. “He’s lying.” “Why is he acting like that?” “He should get the noose.” “He’s just a kid!” “It’s like he doesn’t care.” “Look at him.” “I bet he’s scared shitless.” “Don’t point!” “What’s he gonna do?” “I thought he was a nice dragon.” “There are no nice dragons.” Yeah, these are all things that I can hear around me. I recognize some of them and it makes my heart feel heavy. No matter what I said on that stand, I was bound to disappoint somepony. I can’t think about it too much, though. Princess Luna’s looking right at me. She’s the one that gets to choose what happens to me. “Alright, now, alright.” the griffon paces back and forth, “Before I let go of the reins on this here bighorn, I’d like to call up a very special witness.” There’s more whispering from the crowd. The griffon whirls around and bows his head to Luna. “If...that’s to yer liking, madame.” The princess arches a brow and her eyes look down at the griffon, but her head stays level and doesn’t move. “I will allow it.” Her booming voice makes me flinch and blink by accident. I don’t understand the point in being so loud. If she’s trying to scare everypony, she could’ve done that without even opening her mouth. “Good, good.” the griffon grins widely and turns to the double doors of the courtroom, “Alright, bring in that devilishly handsome bloody blue eyes!” he says this before wheezing. Everypony turns and watches the doors creak open. We all have to squint because of the blinding light that’s pouring into the room. In the center of the glowing brightness is a shadow. If I couldn’t smell his money from here, I would’ve thought it was a god; maybe somepony more mighty than Celestia ever was. But it’s just Prince Blueblood. He marches down the aisle with his nose lifted higher than even Princess Luna’s. His golden locks tell me that he’s spent all morning preparing for this moment. He flashes a smile and his reflective teeth just tell me the same thing that his hair told me. His eyes look like they contain an ocean in each one. They look at me and his brows bounce up and down. This is when I turn back to face the front and cross my arms. “Now, the good prince, here...” the Griffon guides him to the stand, “...he tells me that he’s got some juicy info regardin’ our murder mystery. That right, blue eyes?” The unicorn rises to the stand and carefully rests on the seat. “Mmm, quite.” he smirks after saying that. I think I hear somepony in the audience fainting. “Sweet, sweet, sweet.” the griffon says quickly, “Now, tell us all where you were when all this hustle and bustle took place.” Blueblood’s lazy eyes roll over to me, then they roll back to a corner in the ceiling. He shrugs. “In the throne room.” “No, he wasn’t!!” I stand up and scream so everypony can hear me. “Whatcha say?” the griffon turns to me. His wings are getting ruffled now. “I said he wasn’t there!” “Is that the truth, now?” “Yeah! He wasn’t even at the meeting right before the...the-the accident! He wasn’t there!” “Do ya have evidence?” the griffon smiles with his eyes open really wide. He already knows the answer. I look around in a really desperate way to find somepony who can help me. I end up looking at Luna and then I point. “Her!! Just ask her!! She was there!” all of the ponies in the audience are starting to boo at me, “No, really! There was this really old pony and he read a big list of names that-” “Son, that’ll be enough, now!” the griffon cuts me off and glares at me, “You done had yer chance to show off your bells and whistles. Right now, yer just stirring up the hive.” Everypony’s still booing as I sink into my chair. Prince Blueblood’s looking up at the audience members and smirking again. “Mmm, it’s precious.” “Wuzzat?” the griffon spins back to the prince. “The good citizens of Canterlot seem unanimous in their decision.” “I agree, Mr. Blue. I say, I agree.” the griffon looks over at me, “I’d say he’s fit for a little more time with the rats.” “Mmm, hardly.” the lawyer laughs at that, but I’m still watching Blueblood, “For treason, the penalty is death...unfortunately.” The griffon freezes in place. Some ponies have already gasped at this point. Some are yelling that I’m too young. Others are begging for me to die. To die... I look down at the floor. I’m feeling light-headed. I don’t know what it’s like to die. I’m not ready for it. I’m really not. “Now, uhh...Prince Blueblood, I do think that’s a bit heavy for the little guy.” the griffon might be snapping back to reality. Bad timing, though. The prince shrugs and looks off at some other part of the ceiling. “That’s a shame. He really should have considered the consequences first.” “I didn’t do it!!” I can’t help but scream again. “It’s pointless to lie, you fool.” Blueblood keeps calm and smiles, “I remember the scene quite vividly. You were rather upset about something the princess had said. You had become practically barbaric. But, of course, you wouldn’t recall that...would you?” I can’t say anything else. I really don’t remember what happened. I just want somepony to be on my side and believe me. "Mr. Spike! I got it!" I hear a faint voice coming from outside. I almost ignore it, but it sounds familiar. The courtroom doors burst open, so I turn around to see if it’s who I think it is. Featherweight’s flying down the aisle with two royal guards galloping after him. “Mr. Spike, look!” he throws a hoof in the air and I can see a photo, “I knew I took a picture! I just couldn’t find it, but-” He’s cut short when the royal guards tackle him to the ground in a dog pile. Everypony’s going nuts right now. “Enough!” Princess Luna’s voice solves the problem of the noise. “Ahem.” it sounds like she’s going to hold off on the booming words now, “I will see that photograph, please.” One of the guards scrambles to take the picture in their mouth and carry it to the judge’s bench. The princess uses her magic to levitate the picture in front of her face for a better view. “Interesting.” “What is it?” the griffon steps forward. Prince Blueblood is already stepping down and heading for the back exit. Luna clears her throat again. “The accused is hereby deemed innocent.” her eyes keep scanning the picture left and right. A lot of the audience members are screaming bad words at her, “Court is adjourned.” And the gavel hits the bench. The photo is set aside and Luna rises from her seat to make another announcement. “Now, if you wish to join me, I must bury my sister.” I almost laugh. I dunno why. I feel terrible for thinking it’s funny. Maybe it’s just the way it came out of nowhere, but I really think I’m just really relieved. I look over at Featherweight. He’s trying to pick himself up from the fall. I can’t control myself. I leap over my little table and run past a bunch of random ponies until I’m close enough to tackle Featherweight in a really tight hug. The little guy just can’t even breathe without being knocked down. I have to laugh. It’s the first time in a while that I’ve actually felt like everything’s okay. ____________________________________________________ At the funeral, I’m still feeling giddy. Again, don’t hold it against me. I’m just super excited about not dying. I think this to myself as I watch Celestia’s casket being lowered into the ground. That could’ve been me. It’s not even bad weather outside. It’s about lunchtime and everything’s kind of warm with a cool breeze. I look next to me at Featherweight. He’s not crying, either. I don’t think he understands what’s happening, though. Maybe it’ll hit him in a few months. Until then, I’m just gonna keep smiling. When we’re both walking away from the grave, Featherweight asks me if I wanna see the picture. I don’t even have to answer. I just snatch it from him and look all over it. I see myself being knocked back. I’m like...half-way off the ground in this picture. The window’s in the process of being broken, which means...yeah, something’s flying through the window. It’s small. It has wings, but it’s just a blur. Oh, wait. There’s another blur with wings. It actually looks kind of blue. A blue streak with wings. It’s headed right for Celestia, who’s still smiling down at me. Somehow, I don’t think she saw it coming. Well, it proves that I was just in the middle of everything. “Is it good?” Featherweight pipes up. I chuckle and pat him on the head. “Yeah, you did really good. Thanks a lot. I mean that.” His face scrunches up a little. “Hey, I’m not giving it to you!” and he hovers quick enough to swipe the photo from my claws. “No, I just meant...” I cut myself off and sigh. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have any worries right now. I can smile and not feel guilty about it. Yeah. That would be nice, wouldn’t it? But this is the moment when something drops in front of us. It hits the ground with a dull thud and we both jump back. “Mr. Spike, what is that?” I edge closer and look into the hole that it made in the grass. When the cloud of dirt starts to fade away, I can make out something golden and shiny. “Is that the crown, Mr. Spike?” Yeah, it’s Celestia’s one and only crown. My first instinct is to just keep walking. I need to ignore it. If anypony sees me with Celestia’s crown, it’s back to the dungeon. C’mon, Spike...leave it alone... Ugh. I look up at the blue sky and the clouds that are crawling by. And then I focus back on this crown at my feet. I shake my head. It all just feels like a really bad joke. Seeing Through the CracksIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ For a long time, everything calmed down. Everypony got off my case and I found it a lot easier to forget about all the stuff with Discord, the Elements, and Celestia. I figured that maybe I’d start focusing on Rarity again. I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie. It didn’t even take her half a second to squeal and give me a spinning hug. And that’s where I am right now. I’m watching this movie and she’s sitting really close to me. My heart’s beating too fast, so I try to concentrate on the big screen. At this point, it’s almost over. The main guy is really old and he lives in a nice mansion with a butler and everything. It gets a little weird because he has no friends or family with him. I don’t think he minds it, though. He looks a little crazy, anyway. Rarity keeps scooting closer to me. I don’t even think she’s watching the movie anymore. I’m afraid she’ll be staring at me if I try to get a quick look. I have to stop and wonder if everypony gets this way around the pony they love. It’s still bright outside after the movie. I ask Rarity what she wants to do next and she says it doesn’t matter as long as we’re doing it together. That makes me feel really warm inside. But it wasn’t really an answer, so we both just walk around town square for a little bit. I really don’t wanna ruin this again like last time, but I have some questions that I have to ask. It can’t be any worse than setting her hair on fire. I swallow hard and decide to let it wait for some other time. All that stuff is in the past now. I shouldn’t worry about what she thinks of me, right? “Spike, darling, have I ever told you how ravishing you are?” Rarity helps me snap out of my trance. I feel my cheeks warming up and turning red. “Really? Heh, you think so?” “We simply must go out more often. Don’t you agree?” “Uh...well, yeah! We should!” I feel a little bounce in my step. “Oh, Spike, could we sit down and have dinner over there?” I look to where she’s pointing. It takes me a minute to even hear what she said. It’s like she can’t focus on just one thing right now. “It looks really fancy.” I’m talking about the really expensive restaurant that got her attention. “But that’s the point, Spikey Wikey! I think we deserve a little treat tonight, don’t you?” “Do they have gems?” “Of course they have gems, dear! Only the finest quality in all of Equestria!” I have trouble believing that, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to find out. They seat us in a booth with candles between us. The whole place is kind of dark. Rarity says something about atmosphere and fancy stuff. After we order our food, she asks me what I love most about her. “Um...well, you’re really pretty...” I can’t look her in the eyes. I’m losing my breath. Why would she ask a weird question like that? “Oh, Spike, is that all?” I don’t know what the right answer is. Can I just disappear? Is that an option? “No, no! That’s not the only thing!” I fake a laugh and it gets her laughing too. Good. She’s not pissed. But I still can’t come up with anything else. “Ahem. Your dinner’s arrived.” That’s our waiter, just in time to distract us from that awkward question. I look down at my bowl of rubies. It’s kinda sad, but I can easily think of more reasons why I love the taste of gems. I didn’t always feel this way. I really did love Rarity. Well, maybe I loved who she used to be. Now she’s just a mindless puppet that’s obsessed with me. I don’t want that. “Really, Spike, you must stop being so handsome! I just might faint!” I give a half smile and sigh. This is just depressing. It’s been going on for weeks now. Ever since I was proven innocent in court, I’ve been trying to take my mind off the murder. I’ve been ignoring the spell that Discord has on Rarity. I tossed that crown in my closet, right next to the Elements of Harmony. I have to see if I’m wrong about all this. I’ll just test the waters a little. Twilight would want me to look at all the possibilities. “So, uhh...anyway...” I clear my throat, “How’s your salad?” She looks down at her food like she didn’t even know it was there until now. “Oh!!” she laughs and nods, “It’s certainly refreshing!” I think she’s done talking about her food until she looks at me from the side and leans forward with her eyes half-closed. “Not nearly as you, though.” I’m refreshing? “Heh...right.” I think about digging into my rubies as a distraction from this freak show, but I’m trying to change my approach to everything. I have to hit this head-on while I still can. I sigh and try my best to look at her without losing focus. “Are you okay?” She laughs, of course. “Well, what kind of a question is that? We’re having dinner together, are we not?” “Yeah, but...you’re being weird.” I don’t even try to put it lightly. “Oh, stop it!” she waves at me and looks away, “You’re the weird one!” She’s acting like this is some kind of compliment. “No, like...you’re not the same.” She looks above my head and smiles. I think she’s reminiscing or something. “You’re right, Spikey Wikey.” “Wait...really?” “I never put it to thought until now, really, but you’re absolutely right.” she finally looks back to me and shrugs, “I know I dismissed your advances in the past, and I really am sorry for that. Something just sparked within me, I suppose. I don’t know why I never gave you a chance.” Ugh, she’s doing that thing again. I can’t tell if it’s the real Rarity talking or not. She did this same thing at her house, back when we were about to look for the Elements with the girls. Back then, I fell for it. But now, I know it’s just Discord pulling strings. She keeps looking over my head before she talks. I feel like she’s reading from cue cards. This feels like a stage. It’s all too much to just hide behind the curtains. I finally have Rarity all for myself and it feels so wrong. “Spike...?” “I need to go.” ________________________________________________ I step into the library and I can hear ponies talking. It sounds like Twilight and Featherweight. “No. No more snacks. It’s time for bed.” “Awww, but I’m not even tired!” This happens all the time. Featherweight forgets that we’re his family now and feels like he knows everything. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m not having this talk with you every night-” “SPIKE’S HOME!!!” Featherweight flies past Twilight and starts hovering behind me as I head for the stairs. “Oh...hey, Spike.” Twilight tries to muster up a smile. I can tell she’s tired. “Hey.” I drag my feet and walk upstairs. I remember when I first brought Featherweight home from Canterlot. It was after the crown fell from the sky. He followed me all the way to the library. I asked him if he had a place to stay and he said he didn’t. Nopony really talked about it after that. I guess we just assumed he didn’t have a family. Either way, Twilight said she would help in any way she could. “Spike, wait up!!” That’s Featherweight. I think Twilight just waits for me to get home so that he’ll finally go to bed. He won’t do it unless I do it first. It’s like I’m his big brother. Everything I do is cool or something. “Spike, where’d ya go!? You were gone all day and Twilight wouldn’t tell me and-” “Had a date with Rarity.” I open the door to our room and stagger inside. “Oooooohhh, a date?” “Yeah.” I fall on my bed. “Did you guys...” He stops. “You know...didja kiss?” “No.” “Good! That’s how you get sick!” “Oh.” “Wanna know how I know?” “Sure, Featherweight.” “I just do!” “You’re a genius.” I roll over and slide an arm under my pillow. He doesn’t understand what I just went through. It was like I could see her trapped inside somepony dressed as Rarity. What if the spell is actually really scary on her side? Like, what if she’s trying to fight and break free? “It sounds as though our little drake is finally seeing through the cracks.” That’s Discord. “AHHHH! IT’S THE BOGEYPONY!” That’s Featherweight. “GET AWAY!” Wait...Discord’s showing up now? In front of another pony? I spring up and look over to where I heard Featherweight screaming. It looks like Discord really is here, and he’s got himself wrapped around the little pony so that he can’t scream anymore. Just in time, too, because I can hear Twilight’s hoofsteps coming up the stairs. They get louder until she stops just outside our door. Luckily, we’re all pretty hidden in the dark because the lights are off. I don’t think she’s planning on coming inside, though. She’s probably just listening to check on us. I use this moment of silence to glance at the other two in the room. Featherweight’s thrashing all over the place and Discord’s managing to keep him held in place. That’s when the hoofsteps start up again, but they get farther away and fainter. The coast is clear, I guess. I hop out of my bed and scurry over to the power struggle. Discord chuckles when he sees the look on my face. “He’s lucky that I detest the taste of spoiled brats.” Featherweight keeps trying to scream, but the only thing that comes out is a bunch of muffled sounds. After what Discord just said, he does kind of look like a snake’s prey. “It’s okay.” I whisper and hold up my claws, “It’s just Discord.” “MMPH?!” I guess that doesn’t help the situation. The spirit of chaos doesn’t exactly have the best reputation. “I know, I know. Just...relax.” He finally stops wriggling and his eyes dart back and forth for something to happen. Discord coughs into his talon. “Make sure he knows not to flap that mouth when I release him.” I take a step forward, I grab onto Discord’s long tail that’s keeping the little guy quiet, and then I bring my head close to Featherweight so that we can see eye-to-eye. “Look, you heard him. Just be quiet for a second. He’s a friend of ours. Now, we’re gonna let you go...but don’t scream. Got it?” I wait for a response before I give Discord the OK. Featherweight just nods slowly, so I do the same to Discord, and then he slithers away from both of us. The little pony plops onto the floor and gasps like he’s been underwater for too long. I kind of expect him to just yell his head off anyway, but he’s actually following through. He still looks scared, though. I decide to sit next to him and lay an arm around him. “See? Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” Featherweight tries to stop shivering while he turns to Discord. The draconequus is lounging on my bed. “Why's he here?” Featherweight’s little voice finally pipes up. I have to groan. “It’s a really long story. He’s just...uh...” Discord holds his lion paw in front of him and admires his claws. He decides that this is the right time to chime in. “Simply providing tips for obtaining true love...” he says that last part like it’s something you tell your kids before they go to sleep. “Huh?” Featherweight’s still too young to follow along. To him, love is just a sloppy wet one that gives you cooties. So I try to explain it in words he'll understand. “He wants to help me kiss Rarity.” “What!? EWWWwwwww!!” he scrambles away and dives for a corner of the room, “Why d’you wanna do that?” I sit and think about that. It doesn’t take long. It’s really simple. “I love her.” “So?” Featherweight snaps back, “Just be friends!” I laugh a little. I wish it could be that easy. “Yeah, I guess that’d make everything easier.” “How?” “That’s why I stole the Elements. Discord wanted them so he could help me.” “That just makes him a bad guy! Don’t listen to him!” “He’s been reformed, though.” I look back at Discord and shrug. He just winks. “Well...” Featherweight lowers his voice, “...he’s still scary.” Discord tugs at his beard. “Not nearly as scary as what’s going through Spikey Wikey’s head right now.” And now I know why he’s here, so I grunt and wave in all directions. “Yeah, yeah. I’m not happy. I don’t like seeing Rarity hypnotized, blah, blah.” That causes him to giggle. “You really have mastered the art of downplaying serious matters.” I stand up and point at his ugly face. “Yeah, and you’re the master of calling me names that I hate!” I think I just aged backwards for a minute there. “I thought you liked it.” his smile tells me that he knows the answer. “When Rarity says it.” I fold my arms. “Does Twilight know he’s here?” Featherweight feels brave enough to approach us now. “No, and you can’t tell her.” I kneel down to his level so I can get this drilled into his dumb little brain, “This is a big secret, okay? Nopony knows but you and me.” “But...” he stops to think about his words, “...are we bad guys too?” “No.” I stand up and look at Discord. He’s been surprisingly quiet tonight, “We just can’t let anypony know. They might think we are the bad guys.” “It’s quite alright, little photographer.” Discord’s hovering around us now ,”I simply popped in to clear up this fabrication that Spikey Wikey has created for himself. He should be happy to know that he hasn't quite lost his marbles yet.” Featherweight looks confused, but I know what he’s talking about. Ever since Discord first came to me after Rarity’s black hair accident, I’ve been thinking that I’m insane. Until tonight, I thought that maybe I was just imagining Discord. Now I have proof that he’s real. “Yes, indeed. Mr. Spike, here, has been losing sleep. I must say that his tears made me rather uncomfortable. I could only bear witness for so long.” “You were crying...?” Featherweight’s asking about all the times I would roll around in bed and sniff all night, “You said it was just a runny nose.” Discord tries to contain his laughter. “I suppose that runny nose lasted for weeks, and I suppose you thought nothing of it.” “But...” the little pony doesn’t know what else to say. I’m sure he feels like he’s out of his element. Everything is always too much to take in when Discord’s around. Featherweight waddles up to me and gives me a weak hug. “You’re not crazy, Mr. Spike.” he says this with his face buried in my scales. I appreciate it, but I don’t feel really good. My belly’s starting to ache and I feel fire erupting in my throat. It’s just like that night with Rarity again. “Get back!” I push Featherweight aside and turn around so I’m not facing anypony. I step over to a wall and lay a claw on it for support. Okay, it’s getting worse. I thinking I’m gonna throw up. “Oh, it’s finally happening.” Discord floats behind me, “This is also why I came. I couldn’t possibly miss out on this reaction.” Before I can even think about what he’s talking about, I let out a fiery, green belch. A scroll animates itself into the air and then drops to the floor. I clasp my mouth with both claws and just stare at the scroll. I’m sure my eyes have never been wider. Discord’s snickering. My claws are starting to tremble. They feel tingly and numb. This doesn’t make any sense. She’s supposed to be dead. She can’t just send me letters after I saw them bury her. It’s not right. I just want Rarity to like me. No spells or deals with Discord. I don’t want to get involved with murder and ghosts. “Read it!” Featherweight chirps. I don’t think he sees the whole picture. He’s just excited to see letters poof from thin air. “Yes, Spike. Read it. The suspense is killing us.” Discord needs to get the last word as I bend down and pick up the scroll. I untie the gold ribbon and unroll the letter. It’s not a very long message. It’s even worse. It’s short and not at all sweet. RETURN MY CROWN AT ONCE. - PRINCESS CELESTIA “What’s it say?” Featherweight is still just as chipper. I can’t feel my toes. Bitten by the HypnobugIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ We’re having a picnic right now. I thought we should have it in Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack didn’t mind it. There’s so many leaves that seem determined to float into our food, though. I got to wear my favorite scarf today because the wind is really cold. We have some garnet cake over here, and a little bit of amethyst pie over there. Rarity didn’t want anything to eat. I asked her a hundred times, but she insisted to go hungry. Her excuse was, “Spike, darling, looking into those divine eyes is more than enough to satisfy me.” I tried to ignore the spell that obviously forced those words out of her. I really tried to block it out. I wanted to just smile and look in her eyes to return the favor, but that’s when I noticed that her natural eye color had turned dark and blood red. I knew she was hypnotized and stuff, but I also knew that something wasn’t right about what I saw. “Ever try jewels before?” I ask before chomping into my cake. This is where we are now, asking each other what we eat. You couldn’t write a better love story. “Oh, heavens no! I’d much rather watch you devour them.” she bats her eyes. I roll mine. I tried writing a love story once. It ended up being boring. There was always two ponies talking in every scene; never more than two. “Please, just...stop right there.” I’m not in the mood to hear fake love words. When I was writing that story, I felt like I had to challenge myself, so I tried adding a third pony in one of the scenes. It was weird. You kinda lose track of who’s talking. “Why, Spike, what ever is the matter?” “Doesn’t matter if I tell you.” “Well, why is that?” she sounds like she might actually be concerned, but she has this drunken smile the whole time. I know that my words are just going through one ear and out the other. “Because you’ll just deny it.” “Deny what?” “That you’re hypnotized.” She laughs at me. “Oh, Spikey Wikey, you simply must stop going on about this story of yours! It really is precious.” “Precious?” I scrunch up my face. It’s not exactly a word that I’d use to describe being under a spell. “Of course! How could anything about you not be precious?” “Just stop talking for a second.” “Spike, what are you-” “Can you just do that for me? I wanna have a good time today, that’s all.” “But any time with you is a good time, Spikey Wikey.” “That’s it. Next time I see Discord, I’m calling this whole thing off.” “Discord? What does that vile creature have to do with us?” “Everything.” I sigh. “Wait, I have the perfect idea!” Rarity hops on all fours. “You do?” I stare at her and drop my cake. For a second, it feels like this is actually Rarity talking. “Oh, do I ever.” she slowly approaches me and leans in really close, “We should get married.” My heart sinks down to my feet and I fall onto my back. “Married?!” I crawl backwards so that I can put as much space between us as possible. “Don’t play coy with me, Spike. I know you’ve been thinking it.” “N-No! I haven’t! I’m not ready! I’m just a dragon!” “Stop scrambling on the ground, silly.” “No, you stop!” I point a claw at her, “You’ve been acting weird for months! A-And I’m sick of it!” “I know how you feel, Spikey Wikey! I’m lovesick too!” “No, you’re not! You’re not my Rarity!” I rise to my feet and keep backing away, “But I know she’s still in there.” Her eyes suddenly turn a fiery red. She starts gritting her teeth and digging her front hooves into the dirt. “Spike...I told you to stop being so silly. We’re going to get married.” “I’m not gonna-” “NOW!” She screams so loud that I know it’s time to turn around and sprint away. I don’t even look back. I can hear her pounding the ground behind me. She’s probably shaking the whole town, which is right where I’m headed. I think that maybe I can solve all of this if I’m just honest with everypony. Like, maybe it’s time to come clean. “SPIKE, DON’T ABANDON ME ON OUR WEDDING DAY!” Up ahead is town square. I run around the fountain and keep heading straight. Behind me, I can hear ponies screaming for their lives. There’s a loud crash, almost like an explosion, and then there’s the sound of rushing water. I’m pretty sure that Rarity just bulldozed her way through the fountain. “Spike...?” That’s Twilight up ahead. She’s standing outside the library. The sound of the fountain blowing up probably got her attention. “Go inside!!” I yell at her. “What? What’s going on?” “Just go inside! Leave the door open!” “Is that Rarity?” she asks after she backs away into the library. “I’m coming in! Move!” When I get close enough, I dive through the doorway and hit the floor hard. I can’t waste any time, though. I hop up to my feet and point at the door. “Close it!!” And then, Twilight shuts the door a little more patiently than I probably would have. It doesn’t stop Rarity, though. Storming through the fountain prepared her for this moment. She flattens the door down like it’s made of paper. “Please, please, please, stop!!” I look away and shield my face, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hypnotize you! It’s Discord’s fault, I mean it! I just...I..uh...” I take a peek when I realize that I’m not being trampled. Instead, it looks like Twilight zapped her with a spell that’s making her float in the air. She looks frozen. Her angry face and her red eyes are still in place. “Aw, cool!!” Featherweight jumps down from the stairs, “What happened?! I wanna fly too, Twilight! Make me fly!” I think he forgot about his wings again. That’s when Twilight slowly turns to me and gives me a really harsh glare. “Start talking.” ____________________________________________ “Did you have to tell her everything?” “I was tired of keeping all those secrets. I feel a lot better now, actually.” Discord groans and folds his arms. We’re both on the balcony of the library. The sun’s setting over the hills and it’s starting to get dark really fast. Twilight’s downstairs with the girls and Featherweight. She’s trying to fill everypony in on what’s been happening. She said she can’t trust me anymore. “You’re all the same. Perhaps you do belong with these ponies.” “Well...maybe I do. I just know that I don’t belong with you.” “Oh, I’m hurt.” he fakes a sad face and wipes an imaginary tear from his eye, “Just when I was starting to feel a connection.” “Don’t start.” I wave a claw at him, “I’m not even supposed to be talking to you. Twilight knows about you and our deal.” “Yes, yes. I saw how she extracted the skeletons from your closet.” “Huh?” “Figure of speech, Spikey Wikey.” he hovers over me and scratches my head with his talon, “I mean that she confiscated the Elements and the crown.” “Oh...well, yeah. She did.” “What a load off your shoulders.” he seems really annoyed. “Mhm.” I’m afraid of talking to him for too long. I’ll probably get myself stuck in another deal or something. “I suppose you also told the smarty pants about the letter from Celestia’s ghost?” “Yeah, she said that Celestia had a spell book in her room. There’s a spell inside of it that lets ponies deliver letters through messenger drakes.” “Please, go on. It’s absolutely riveting.” “Well, the point is...somepony must’ve stolen that book, and now they’re just trying to scare me with that spell.” “I think I may fall asleep soon.” Discord stretches and yawns. “And speaking of spells, I want you to set Rarity free!” “Pipe down.” he chooses this moment to recline on the balcony’s railing, “That’s already taken care of.” “You promise?” I don’t plan on going back inside until I hear him confirm this. “Go see for yourself.” I have to shake my head. I guess that’s as sure as it gets with Discord. I walk up to the railing and stand next to him for a minute. Both of us just kind of stare out into the darkness. I can see the moon creeping up behind the clouds. A few birds are still awake and chirping. “You know...” Discord adopts a different tone. It feels more sincere and quiet, “...I wouldn’t mind having one last cuddle tonight.” I don’t even have to think about what to say. “No.” And then it’s silent. I wait for Discord to say something sassy that’ll make me cringe, but he doesn’t say anything. I look over to see what he’s doing, but he’s just gone. I start to feel a little bad. I mean, I guess he was really just trying to help. Chaos is what he’s good at. He probably didn’t mean for things to turn ugly like this. I’m such an idiot. If there’s any moral to this story, it’s that I’m a stupid drake that pushes everypony away. Whatever. I guess I’m back where I started. All the girls are downstairs without me. But this time, I’m not just gonna hide from them and cry about it. I whirl around, I step inside the library, and I head down the stairs. I can hear the ponies talking. “That’s right. Spike is being framed for Celestia’s murder.” That’s Twilight. “And ya think Luna’s gonna be next?” And that’s Applejack. “Precisely, which is why we need to act quickly. Spike should follow the instructions and return the crown tomorrow.” Pinkie Pie gasps. “But that’s what the meanie-weenie no-good pony killer-er wants!” she feels like she needs to wave her hooves in the air to make her point. I can see Rarity next to her. She doesn’t look so crazy anymore. “That’s why we need to do this.” Twilight says, “We can finally reveal the culprit if we go along with this. Girls, you’ll surround the castle and wait for the signal. Spike and I will go in-” “I wanna go too!!” Featherweight rushes in. “Good thinking.” Twilight nods, “We can use your camera for any evidence. We’ll go in the castle and make sure Spike reaches the throne room safely. After that, he’ll take the crown and talk to Luna on his own. This third party will most likely strike in an attempt to frame Spike again.” “And then we jump in and knock them around till’ they’re crying for their mommies!” Rainbow punches the air with her hooves. Twilight just smiles. “Yes. Just make sure they don’t escape. We need them so we can finally put this behind us.” “Now, try not to waste a whole lotta time.” Applejack steps in, “We don’t wanna go and lose another princess.” “Right.” Twilight’s finally wrapping things up, “You should all get a good night’s sleep tonight. Tomorrow will be a long day.” “Um...um...excuse me?” Fluttershy raises her hoof, “Could we sleep here for one night?” Twilight doesn’t need to ask why. It’s obvious that she doesn’t feel safe. After all, there’s a killer among us. The other ponies agree with Fluttershy’s idea and they each grab a pillow and a blanket for sleeping on the floor. I use this time to head over to Rarity. She’s fluffing her pillow and making sure her sleeping space is tidy and perfect. “Hey, Rarity.” I tap her shoulder. She jumps a little and then spins around to face me. “Oh! Hello, Spike. Are you alright?” I shrug. “I guess so.” “You poor thing. You’re simply too young for all this nonsense.” “I can handle it.” I fold my claws and think about what I’m gonna say next, “So, uhh...I wanted to ask you something.” She carefully positions herself onto her blanket like she’s royalty, and then she brushes herself off before she finally makes time for me again. “Well, do go on.” she says that and I feel something that I’ve been missing for a very long time. I’m through the roof. My heart’s racing and it’s beating just for her. My legs are shaking. I forget about everything I said about anything. I’m in love with this mare, and anypony in the room can see that. “Uhh, well...you know I like you a lot and it’s just that I...well, I really missed you.” I stop and bite my lip. I can feel tears forming, so I rub at my eyes a bunch of times. I can almost hear Discord telling me to stop crying. “Awww, Spikey Wikey.” she reaches forward and wraps me in a firm hug, “I can’t tell you how...relieved I am to be back. I’m never taking you for granted again. But Spike...?” “Hm?” I ask with my face nuzzling her neck. “Please...no more spells.” I feel like staying right here for the whole night, just hugging until we both fall asleep. But I can’t let things escalate too quickly. I’ve seen what happens when you try too hard to make something happen. Instead, I decide to test the waters and just see if this is really my Rarity. “You wanna get married?” I almost crack up because of the timing. We’re both having this really emotional moment and then I just drop that bomb. “Do I want to...wait...say that again...” she says it like it’s a question. “Uhh...” I break the hug and take a few steps away from her, “...actually, never mind.” I double back and rush to the stairs as fast as my little legs can go. “Spike, did you say married!? At a time like this!? You have the nerve to-” I can hear her underneath me when I get upstairs. I slam the door behind me and let out a tired breath. That’s when I close my eyes and smile. I’ve never been happier to have somepony yell at me from the top of their lungs. I walk deeper into the room and step up to the balcony’s glass door. I lean on its cold surface and stare at the moon. It’s really bright tonight. The sound of the door creaking open makes me turn my head. It’s just Featherweight, so I turn back to the moon and the dark blue sky. Some of the stars are starting to show up. “Hey...is Discord coming back?” One by one, all of the lights in the houses of Ponyville start to die off. I can’t decide if I feel good about Discord leaving. He just seemed so upset. Like, I wish I could have at least hugged him or something. The spirit of disharmony doesn’t get very many hugs, I imagine. Who does Discord run home to? EnjoyIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ The last time I was at this castle, a princess was beaten until she couldn’t rule her kingdom anymore. Today, history is going to try and repeat itself. With Featherweight and Twilight on either side, I walk up the long flight of stairs one more time. They’re really bright from the sun reflecting off of them. I feel like I can get a tan just by standing on these steps a little longer, but I try to focus on the mission as we come up to the royal guards. Their faces are frozen and looking ahead like they’ve been that way for centuries. The giant double doors are just behind them, but we’ll never get to go in if these stallions don’t want us to. One guard moves his eyes down to rest on me, and then his eyelids narrow. “We’re not accepting visitors at this time.” “It’s me...Spike.” I scratch the back of my head. Maybe he’ll let us in when he remembers who I am. I mean, I’m not sure if this is the same guard I spoke to last time, because they all look the same to me. It’s worth a shot, though. “Are you a visitor?” I shrug. “Well...yeah, I guess.” “Then we’re not allowing you to enter.” “But we need to get in!” “I’m not authorized to feel pity.” “Are you authorized to lighten up a little?” I cross my arms and look away. I catch a glimpse of some of the other girls sneaking ahead to climb through the castle’s windows and stuff. The only reason the three of us are trying to go through the front door is so that the killer notices us. Twilight said that our number one goal is to just get them to come out of hiding. Speaking of Twilight, she chooses this time to step up and cough into her hoof. “Excuse me, sir. I know it must be a demanding job to guard the royal castle all day, so I’ll forgive you.” The guard’s eyes open wide. “You see, my name is Twilight Sparkle. You probably didn’t recognize me.” “Twilight...?” he tilts his head and squints like he’s thinking hard, “...are you...a visitor?” She giggles. “You must have been asleep during your rookie days, huh?” The guard smirks. “Good one. Hey...I got a joke, too. But just for you, I’ll skip the set-up and get right to the punchline.” The guard throws a punch at Twilight, but she’s quick to use her magic and warp just out of reach. “Hey!! You can’t do that to Twilight!” Featherweight flies in and hovers around the guard’s head. I think he’s trying to distract him or something. The outburst gets the attention of a few other guards. “Hey, now!” “Woah, woah, woah!” “Dude, calm down!” “That’s Twilight Sparkle!” “You tryin’ to piss off Shining Armor?” “Shining...Armor...?” the angry guard huffs and takes a minute to catch his breath. “Yeah, man. That’s his little sis right there.” “His...sister? OH!” the guard finally straightens up and offers a salute with his hoof, “My apologies, ma’am. You and your friends may pass.” “Thank you. I won’t mention this to my big brother.” Twilight holds her head high and steps through the guards. Featherweight and I don’t waste any time and catch up with her. When we get to the large doors, they start to open on their own. Twilight says something about how the guards have full control of the front entrance these days. She doesn’t sound like she’s a fan. After what I just saw, I can’t say I like the idea, either. “Alright. The girls should be inside by now.” Twilight starts whispering when we step into the castle, “That stallion did us a favor and bought them some time.” “You brought the crown, right?” I have to make sure. I don’t want this all to be for nothing. “Of course. We’re lucky that they forgot to search us.” she’s been hiding the crown inside the messenger bag that’s resting on her back. After we collect ourselves from the scene with the guards, the three of us start heading deeper into the castle halls. “Remember when we were here last time, Spike?” Featherweight’s little voice bounces off the high walls. “Yeah. I don’t wanna think about that right now.” “Why? I got to take a really cool picture!” “Well, you’re lucky you weren’t in that really cool picture.” “Aw, you didn’t look bad, Mr. Spike. I wish you were in all my pictures.” “No, thanks. The only time that camera flashes is when somepony’s getting hurt.” “Nuh uh! What about this one?” While we’re walking, Featherweight whips out a picture and offers it to me. When I grab it and get a closer look, I can see that it’s Princess Celestia. She’s surrounded by everypony who came to her birthday party. This picture is probably the only thing we have left to remind us that she was happy. “She looked right at the camera, too!” Featherweight tries not to let his voice get too loud, but he always seems passionate about his pictures, “I did what you told me, Spike! I flew really, really high and she looked right at me!” “Yeah, I remember.” I smile a little bit and give the photo back to the little photographer. That party was the first time we met. We were both chasing after something that we wanted. Featherweight got his picture, but all I got was a fine mess. “Hey, whose room is that?” Featherweight stops and points to a golden door that’s cracked open. I think the reflective door interests him a lot more than the owner of the room. “Oh, that’s Prince Blueblood.” Twilight sounds bored, “C’mon, we’re almost to the throne room.” The other two keep going ahead, but I’m still standing here. Maybe it’s because I’m admiring the shiny reflection on the door. Maybe it’s because I remember how badly that prince wanted me to get the death penalty. Yeah, it’s definitely not the door. It’s definitely the revenge that I’d like to have right about now. “Spike, get back here!” Twilight hisses at me. I didn’t even realize that I walked into his room, but here I am. It looks like Blueblood’s not here, though. There’s a fire burning in the fireplace and the lamps are still on, so he’s probably coming back soon. At this point, the other two have already stepped in with me. “Woahhhh!!!” Featherweight leaps off the carpet and buzzes around the room, “Everything’s so fancyyyyy!” “Featherweight, stop that right now!” Twilight trots after him and swings her hooves in the air to try and get him down. I guess I could try and help her, but I have my eye on something else in the room. In the corner, there’s a bunch of papers scattered all over Blueblood’s desk. I feel like I’m in a trance and my legs start carrying me to that side of the room. As I get closer, the pages start to look familiar. “Uhh...guys?” I hear myself say when I can start to make out what some of the pages are. It’s what we’ve been looking for this whole time, but we just stumbled on it by accident. They’re messages. Some of them are directed to Prince Blueblood. Others are written out to me. RETURN MY CROWN AT ONCE. - PRINCESS CELESTIA Yeah, that’s one of them. Of course, Princess Celestia didn’t write this. There’s a whole stack of them on this desk, ready to be sent out. “You’re kidding...” Twilight’s already digging through some of the letters, “What does Blueblood have to gain from this?” I can’t answer her right now, because I’m reading more pages to try and find out, myself. Prince Blueblood, We’re pleased to see that things have been chugging along just as we like it. That stubborn hag was buried nice and proper, indeed. Hell, I’d say that little lizard gave us a bonus just by being at the scene of the crime! Poor guy was just what we needed to get the heat off our flanks. Sad to say, though, our two hired guns have gone and dropped that delightfully golden crown from the skies. I do believe those cretins forgot about the dangers of living in a floating city. We will get back to you in a jiffy. - Your Friends Okay, that explains a lot that’s been going on. I just wish I knew who these so-called friends are. The answer has to be somewhere in this mess. “Why doesn’t he clean up his room?” Featherweight’s remembering the rules that Twilight’s drilled into his skull while he’s been living with us. I kind of agree with him. I didn’t think Blueblood would be so dumb and leave all of this evidence out in the open. “He’s just always been that way.” Twilight sighs and searches through some more papers, “Shining Armor never liked him that much, anyway. Take some pictures, Featherweight.” “Yes, ma’am!” I try to ignore the flashes from the camera and read some more words from the prince’s pals. Prince Blueblood, We have set our sights on the prize. Yes, indeed. Recall that little lizard who put on a show in court? Seems like he fashioned himself a plot to take the crown for his own! Our guys followed him to the local library. We’re thinking this is the perfect opportunity for you to put forth some effort. We love effort and we see potential in the likes of you. Get creative and scare the little lizard into bringing that crown straight to your doorstep. We agree that you should brush up on your roleplay. - Your Friends There’s a lot of talk about the crown. I don’t know why it’s so important to them. Reading about myself like this is really weird, too. I don’t appreciate being called a lizard, and I don’t appreciate being followed around. “Spike, look!” Twilight gets my attention when I hear her scrambling for a black book on the desk, “It’s the spellbook; the one that belonged to Celestia!” she shoves the cover in my face and then stuffs her nose in its pages. I guess that confirms her theory about the Celestia ghost hoax. “How many pictures do you want, Twilight?” “How many do you have?” “A lot!” “How many is a lot?” “Like a million!!” “I’m sure you have plenty” Twilight laughs a little. “Is the bad pony going to jail?” Featherweight stops flashing his camera and sits down. He looks really concerned. Twilight frowns and narrows her eyes. “Without a doubt in my mind.” Prince Blueblood, We admire your commitment to our agreement. That being said, you did not disappoint. That little lizard is heading to the castle as we write. Seems as though he’s formed himself a measly fellowship, too. Nothing to lose sleep about, I assure you. Now, all we require of you is to show them the way to the throne room. Our boys will fly in and knock that princess silly until she keels over. If luck shows its face today, the little lizard just might take the blame again. That’d be a hoot! We have gone ahead and reminded our goons of the crown as well. That treasure means profit and we have assured them that there will be consequences of the relentless sort, should they return empty hoofed. My boy, can you taste that throne? - Your Friends “Oh, my...” All three of us stop. Nopony says anything. There’s another one in the room with us. I slowly turn my head to the door and see the stallion of the hour. Prince Blueblood’s face couldn’t get any redder. “I see that...you appear to have lost your way.” he clears his throat and takes a step closer to us, “Perhaps we could discuss matters elsewhere. I understand that L-Luna requires your presence in-” Twilight cuts him off with a blast of force from her horn. The prince flies back and slams into the stone wall. Featherweight laughs like we’re all just playing. Twilight fires a see-through beam just before Blueblood can drop to the floor. Her magic expands around the prince and pins him up on the wall. He’s curled up in a ball and not saying anything now. From down here, he looks like a baby on display. He could just start crying any second. “Spike!!” I shake my head when I realize that Twilight’s screaming at me. She tosses me the crown and then points to the open door. “You and Featherweight...go find Luna!” “Are you sure?” I have to ask, “You got everything under control?” “Heh.” Twilight smirks, “Don’t worry. I’ve changed diapers for fillies that were tougher than this guy.” I smile and give her a quick nod before rushing into the halls. I can hear Featherweight flying close behind me. I’m really nervous for him. I can see the blood-red doors ahead of us. They almost stretch to the ceiling. Every time I’ve gone through those doors, something bad happens. This time is no different. It’s just the same song stuck on repeat. I come to a screeching halt so that I can turn back to Featherweight. I lay a claw on each of his shoulders and that seems to anchor him to the ground. “Spike, what are we-?” “Okay, listen...this is your last photo shoot.” “What?! M-My last one?! But why?” I shake my head and groan. “No, no. Scratch that. This is...okay, this is your most important photo shoot.” “Ohhhh.” his eyes light up, “What’s my motivator?” “Alright, your motivation.” I pause because I know he’s not going to like this next part, “Stay here.” “Huh?! Nooo!” he stamps his hoof on the red carpet, “I wanna go in and take pictures-” “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that. Just shut up and keep your eyes on me.” I use two of my claws to point at my own eyes, “You watching?” He huffs and nods. I can tell he’s angry. “Good. Now, stop yelling like a brat. Somepony’s gonna hear you.” “Yes, sir.” he says this with a weak voice, like he’s hurt. Maybe his feelings are what’s hurting. Either way, I don’t have time for this. I keep a hand on his shoulder, but then I turn a little and use another claw to point at the throne room behind me. Our eyes are still locked. “You don’t go in there...until you hear a lot of noise. When you do, I want you to bust through those doors, take your camera, and take as many pictures as you can. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but it’s probably gonna go by before I can keep up. And that’s why you’re really important.” “Ohh...” This might be too much for him to absorb. “Look, when this is over, we’re all gonna look at your pictures. So, give us your best work.” “Okay, Mr. Spike!” he can’t help but lift off the ground and wrap me in a hug. “Yep, yeah.” I wince, but I can feel myself smiling. I push him off me, but I can feel myself finally warming up to him; warming up to somepony that isn’t just listening to this story and making guesses about how I’m going to die someday. Somepony actually wants to know me and what makes me tick. I wouldn’t mind keeping this little guy around a little longer. Maybe when this all done, we can be kids again. For now, I leave that fantasy behind and step into the throne room. On the opposite end of this huge room, Princess Luna looks down at me. “You...?” She isn’t using her mighty voice like I thought she would. It makes me a little uncomfortable, like I’m seeing a part of her that I shouldn’t. She straightens up and deeply inhales. “Young Spike...pray tell, after the casualties that have long since transpired...what business remains to be discussed? What more is there that pertains to you and I?” The princess sounds weak. She sits on the throne where her sister once sat before her end, and now it’s becoming a little more clear to me. I’m some kind of bad omen. At least, that’s how Luna sees me. She’s lost the only family she’s ever had and now I show up in her home again to deliver the bad news. I look down at the crown in my claws and then I hold it up above my head. Her jaw slacks. She raises a hoof to her mouth. I don’t know if she’s going to say anything soon. I take a few steps forward. “Oh, Celestia...” I hear her whimpers echo off the pearly walls. “My beloved sister...who hath swiftly departed...from thine kindred.” I feel like I’m interrupting something important. What do I do? Can I just...lay the crown here on the floor? Do I say something? Before any of that can cross my brain in time, my vision goes blurry. I think there was a crash. Glass was flying in all directions. I blink. I’m stumbling over to the crown. I must’ve dropped it. I squint. Now I’m lying on my side. I feel a rush of cold air. I’m looking at the tall windows. They’re broken. Now I’m rolling onto my back. I’m staring at the ceiling. I can see the Wonderbolts. Two of them. Soarin. Spitfire. When I try to get up... ...I hear Luna shrieking. I look in the direction of the scream. Soarin and Spitfire are both flying straight for the princess. I blink. I see blood trickling onto the floor. The red droplets stick out when they’re staining this marble floor. I see Rainbow Dash flying over me. She tackles Soarin. There’s Pinkie Pie. And Applejack. They’re barking at each other and pointing. But the whole thing sounds like I’m underwater. Every time I move my eyes... And every time I blink my eyes... It’s a different view. Oh, wait. “Spike!!” I hear something, finally. My name. “Spike, is this good?!” Featherweight? I blink. He’s taking pictures of everything. I finally feel my legs, so I hop up and try not to let my head spin too fast. When I can see straight, I make out that Soarin’s standing in front of me. Between us, the crown sits on the floor. He slowly approaches is, but then he looks back up to me first. “Do you...mind if I take this?” He smiles like he’s shy and then he takes another step for the crown. I trust my instincts and just dive for it. I didn’t really think about what would happen, so I’m a little surprised when I land right on top of the crown and feel a prickling pain in my belly. It feels like when I get in a nervous fit and end up scratching myself until I bleed. I raise my head to see what Soarin’s making of this, but that’s when he gets trampled by Pinkie Pie. “PULL HIS HAIR!!” I look over to the throne and I can see Luna zapping at Spitfire like she’s just a fly. She misses a couple of times and zaps at the windows and the chandelier. “Soarin, get that camera!” I think that’s Spitfire. Good thing we have Pinkie, though. Soarin can’t even move. “You idiot!” That’s Spitfire again. She flies in one last time, whirls around Luna’s blasts of magic, and connects her hoof with the princess’s jaw. That sends Luna toppling from the throne and onto the red carpet trail. She’s still breathing, though. I think she was just caught off guard. When I look up, I see Rainbow Dash forcing Spitfire down to the floor. “Fluttershy! Come help me! Hold her down!” That must be weird, fighting somepony that you used to look up to. I don’t know why the Wonderbolts want Celestia’s crown. I don’t know why they killed Celestia. I don’t know why they’re trying to kill Luna. But whatever that reason is, it can wait. For now, I’m protecting this crown with my whole body. “Oh, dear...” Fluttershy can be heard above me. “C’mon, you got this!” Rainbow Dash keeps coaxing her into helping with shutting Spitfire down. “Okay...okay...” Fluttershy tightens up, “Here I go.” and she propels herself towards the other two pegasus ponies. She must have a lot of pent-up anger, because as soon as she collides with Spitfire, she anchors Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolt all the way down to the ground. After that, Spitfire doesn’t move. When I survey the other ponies, I can see Pinkie Pie and Applejack holding Soarin down. But he doesn’t seem to be resisting at all. “Oh, you must be joking.” I hear Rarity behind me. I think the crown’s safe for now, so I stand up and turn to see what she’s doing. It looks like she’s just walked into the room, “You’ve all finished without me!” I let out a sigh of relief. Behind her, Twilight’s big brother rushes in. “What is all this?” Shining Armor walks farther in and glances around the area, “Somepony answer me at once!” I look past him and study Luna for a second. She seems okay. She’s struggling to rise on all fours. Featherweight buzzes up to Shining Armor and shoves the camera in his face. “Look at my pictures!” his little voice bounces off the walls and fills the throne room. Shining Armor raises his brow and opens his mouth a little. He’s probably about to ask why he should be looking at photos at a time like this. “They’re my best work!!” The royal guard just looks around at everypony else and waits for a voice of reason. ________________________________________________ A few hours pass by. I’m in the dungeon right now; not in a cell. I’m with Twilight and her big brother. We’re questioning the three ponies that we’ve caught today: Blueblood, Spitfire, and Soarin. They’re the ones in a cell today, and I don’t think there’s any chance of them being set free. Shining Armor looked at all the photos. To put it lightly, he’s not very happy. “Alright. As it currently stands, the three of you deserve to rot in this dungeon. The level of treason that I’ve witnessed today is...I just...I can’t fathom all of this. I demand an explanation! Anything less than the truth will not be acceptable.” “Cut it out, big guy.” Spitfire scoffs, “You sound like you just hopped right out of a bad ‘cops and robbers’ flick.” “This isn’t some sort of fairy tale. You have cut down a princess in her prime, and you’ve nearly done the same to her sister.” “Really? I had no idea.” “What is your goal?” “Like we’re gonna just start flapping our mouths.” she laughs, “This your first time interrogating?” “You will provide answers or you shall not see the sun again.” “Okay, okay, okay!!” Soarin flies up to the bars and pokes his head through. “I didn’t even wanna do this! I really didn’t! But I mean...they offered a lot of money!” “Soarin, what the hay!?” the other Wonderbolt flies up and tries to pry him from the bars. “No, I’m not like you! I was just scared! They said they would hurt us!” “Shut up, Soarin! Just shut it!” “Look, we were hired to kill Celestia!” now he’s talking to Shining Armor again, “We didn’t even know the dragon was gonna be there!” “If you don’t stop being such a little foal!” Spitfire’s still trying to pacify him. “Then they wanted Luna out of the picture, and...they wanted you gone, too. Cadence was next, and then Twilight.” Shining Armor looks furious. “You have the nerve to even contemplate the murder of my family...?” “They paid us up front and told us that we could split the profit of-” “Soarin, I’m going to kill you!” That’s Spitfire again. “We could sell any jewelry we stole and then we’d share the money with them!” “With who?” Shining Armor is trying to keep his cool. I’m sure he’s just waiting to find out who’s really responsible. That’s when he’ll finally know who to unleash his wrath on. Spitfire finally yanks Soarin from the bars and the two of them toss and tumble backwards. “They simply told me that I could acquire the throne if I signed an agreement with them.” Prince Blueblood takes his turn to approach the bars, “You see, I never intended for all of this primitive violence.” “Acquire the throne?” Shining Armor repeats the words like he’s disgusted by what he’s hearing. “Precisely. They approached me with a problem that only Celestia could solve. Apparently, she wasn’t being very helpful to them. I agreed that I would assist them with their problem if I was somehow in Celestia’s position. They told me that they could make it so. I simply...did not predict their violent nature.” “Blueblood...” Shining Armor starts, “...if you ever plan to spoil yourself with another meal in this castle, you will reveal the names of these traitors.” The imprisoned prince just shrugs. “This royal family is becoming increasingly corrupt, anyhow.” and he looks away. “After what I’ve just witnessed, you can officially consider yourself the sole corrupt member of this family.” “Two sides of the same coin, I suppose.” Blueblood turns and disappears into the darkness of his cell. Shining Armor shakes his head and sighs before he looks to us. “I don’t suspect they’ll talk just yet, but don’t worry. We’ve prepared for this type of situation.” Twilight shows off a helpful smile, but her eyes tell a different story. “Twily...” her big brother hesitates, “I’m sorry you’ve been thrown into this mess. I can’t imagine how this must be affecting you.” “Oh...” she laughs nervously, “It’s alright. I’m just glad everypony’s okay.” “Yeah...but, why didn’t you come to me sooner? You know that’s why I’m here.” “Well, I...we didn’t know who the culprit was. I couldn’t just trust anypony.” “Not even me?” Twilight looks down. I feel a little out of place, so I tip-toe out of the dungeon, up the stairs, and make my way through the castle halls. When I pass by the throne room, I notice a lot of ponies mopping, sweeping and repairing the damages. I keep walking through the halls after that. I move through the front doors of the castle, down the long flight of stairs, and into the hustle and bustle of Canterlot. It’s not really the place I want to be, now that I think about it. I’m trying not to admit it, but I’m looking for a place nearby where I can be alone. I want my friend to pop in so we can talk about everything that’s happened so far. “Spike! Good job today!” I turn to see where he’s coming from, but it’s just some old stallion that I’ve never seen before, “You sure cleaned house!” “Uh...thanks.” I wave and keep walking along the streets. “It’s Twilight’s little helper!” a group of fillies flock over to me, “Hey, did you beat the Wonderbolts up? Were they tough?” I don’t say anything this time. I just move through them. I can’t believe the news has gotten out so quickly. “Spike? Why, is that you?” I hear a frail voice behind me. It’s Granny Smith, “Ohh, we done heard about how you went and helped out the princess.” “Yeah? Heh, thanks.” I fold my arms and feel awkward. “Yeeup, yer a natural born hero!” “Eeyup.” Big Mac strolls in beside her. He’s carrying a basket of apples. If I had to guess, they’re probably in town to try and sell their goods. They’d probably have better luck in Ponyville, though. “Welp, we best be off. Don’t let the fame go and get to yer head, now!” I finally relax when they leave. I’d might as well give up. I can’t even have a minute to be by myself, so I plop down on the edge of the sidewalk and watch all of the ponies passing by on the road. “My, my. For a second there, the world took him for a natural born killer.” I hear a familiar voice behind me. “Mhm, mhm. Right you are. You really hafta admire such a fearless character.” “Yes, yes, indeed. When everypony was against him, he climbed to the top and persevered.” “Quite the success story, you must admit.” I turn around and see the Flim Flam brothers. They’re standing on either side of their ice cream stand. “Oh, it’s you guys.” I stand up and join them. I remember their commercial from when I was in jail. But after all the times Discord messed around with it, I’ve sort of forgotten what they use to make the stuff. “Say, would ya like a cone?” “On the house!” “You deserve it!” “Sure, thanks a lot.” I snatch the cone from them and try a little taste for myself. I mean...it looks like any other vanilla ice cream, but...it’s really really good. “You ever treated yourself to some premium quality nourishment, son?” One of them nudges me. “Only the best in Equestria for the best in Equestria.” “Yes, indeed.” “Suppose they have cones like this where he’s from?” “Brother, he hails from this fine city of Canterlot!” “Ahh, so he does! You’ve done your research.” “As should you.” “What’s behind that tone of yours, brother?” “Why, I’m only making note of the fact that you never were too bright.” “And I suppose we should just glaze over that time when you dropped out of grade school.” “Now, now. We both know that I quit. That would be the term that you’re looking for.” “Such a dreadful establishment.” “Indeed.” Should I be listening to this? I feel like I’m just eavesdropping on everypony today. I’m almost finished with my cone when I start to become sick to my stomach. I drop the ice cream and it splatters across the pavement. “Oh, what a waste.” “Fine living ain’t for everypony, I suppose.” They both share a chuckle, but I can’t even fake a laugh right now. I’m gripping my sides and bending over. I’m just waiting for my belly to burst open and spill my guts all over the sidewalk. What did they put in that ice cream? “Ooooh, he looks a bit green around the edges.” “Brother, those little lizards look green from top to bottom!” “Oh, you’re right again.” “Mother always said so.” “Mother could never tell the difference between us.” “I do believe I hear the sad song of a sore loser.” My throat starts to burn. There’s fire welling up inside of me. I don’t have a choice. I let myself go and I unleash a huge belch and a fireball. The fire dissolves almost instantly and then all that’s left is a floating letter, wrapped with a gold ribbon. It gently falls into my claws and I don’t waste a second to unwrap it. Spike, It’s Twilight. You need to return to the castle as soon as possible. Soarin suffered from an emotional breakdown and informed us that Flim and Flam are completely responsible for everything. I would recommend that you- I can’t finish the letter because one of the brothers swipes it from behind. “Say, whatcha got there, boy?” “Hey! Give it back!” I try and jump for it, but they’re a lot taller than me. “Hmm, seems like they’ve sorted out this conundrum, brother.” They’re both reading the letter and grinning. “My, the illustrious Flim and Flam?” “Who’d have thought?” “Well, this is no good.” “No, sir. Not at all.” “Who could possibly bear arms against such a crafty duo?” “And a handsome duo at that!” “Hey now, Flim, I do believe that little lizard is thinkin’ about ruining our fun!” “Say, Flam, we’ve got just the thing for that!” I’ve stuck around longer than I need to. I use this time to whirl around and bolt out of here. But I’m not fast enough. Before I can even make any distance, everything blacks out. I think they threw a sack over me. I can’t breathe. I try to scream, but it feels muffled. I try to breathe some fire, but I just burn myself. It doesn’t even tear the sack. Can anypony hear me? Isn’t somepony seeing this? That’s the last thing I remember before something blunt hits me on the head. __________________________________________________ “Mmmm, can you smell that?” “I do, indeed, brother. I’d say it smells a lot like defeat!” “I’d say you’d be right!” When I finally wake up, that’s what I hear; the Flim Flam brothers. Their voices float around me and I never know when I’m going to suddenly hear one of them over my shoulder. When I can see, I find myself in a huge foyer of a mansion. There are two flights of stairs on either side of the hall. The floor is cold on my butt. I try to stand up, but I realize that I have an itchy rope tied around me. I can’t use my fiery breath for some reason. My throat feels hoarse. “Oh, you’ll find that too much ice cream can really dampen the flames.” “What’s that?” “I’m speaking to the boy.” “Ah, of course.” There’s a Flim going down one staircase and a Flam going down the other. I look over at the wooden front doors. All of the windows have red curtains drawn shut so that nopony can see inside. The sun’s still out, so it almost makes the curtains seem like they’re glowing. “Flam, slap that on a product! Use it as a slogan!” “Use what, now?” “What I just said! The whole bit about the ice cream and the flames!” “Hey, Flim, I’d be happy to do a heap of things with what you just said, except it doesn’t make a lick of sense!” “Don’t be thick, brother!” “Don’t act a fool, brother!” “Guys?” I speak up. “We haven’t forgotten about you.” “Yes, yes, we were just deciding what to do with you.” “And we came to a conclusion!” “We did?” “Oh, come now.” “Only kidding, brother! Learn to cut a rug from time to time!” “Are you asking for a dance, now? Is that what you’re doing?” “A dance? Why, not at all!” “Brother, are you aware of what it means to cut a rug?” “Well, I suppose not.” “Hm. That’d explain a great deal-” “Guys, seriously?” I speak up again. Listening to these dumbos is torture. Maybe that’s what they’re going for. “Right, right, right.” “Yes, we’ve decided to hold you-” “Ah! Ah! Let me say it!” “If you can formulate a valid reason as to why I should let you, then be my guest!” “I’m the one who devised the plan!” “You’re so right.” “Glad you think so.” “Well, take the stage!” “Spike, my boy, we’re holding you for ransom!” “The royal guards will be here any moment!” I don’t think they thought very hard about this. They’ve probably never done anything like this before. Like, I’m sure they’ll get their money from the royal family, but what about after they set me free? What’s stopping the guards from rushing in the house and arresting them? Thinking about the flaws keeps me comfortable. I decide to keep this to myself. I wanna see them fail. “We’ve gotten ourselves tangled with quite the snake here...” “So we’re planning on disposing of you when they deliver the goods!” “After all, we’d be sitting ducks if we took your leash off.” “And the instrument for ending the poor boy’s life?” “I could only dish out the croquet mallet.” “That’ll do, brother, that’ll do!” “I agree! Why, a well-executed strike with this dandy should treat him nicely!” “You’ll wanna shoot for the temples, brother!” “Now, is that so?” “Why wouldn’t you?” “I was wagering on taking a shot between his eyes, myself.” “Oh, no, no, no. Dear brother, you’ll find that the thinnest region of the skull lies adjacent to the ears.” “Really, now?” “Try it for yourself!” I flinch when he says that. “Not just yet, brother. We don’t have our money yet!” I have to get some answers. “Look, you guys are fun to listen to and all, but why are you guys going to all this trouble?” “Well, son, we don’t want our asses to end up sitting on somepony’s mantlepiece!” “What we have here is a situation that requires delicate planning!” I shake my head. “No, I mean all the murder! Why do you guys wanna smear the royal family?” “Oh, not the royal family!” “Just the bad eggs.” “Indeed. Blueblood proved to be the only competent mind in this wretched monarchy.” “The only one to accept our monopoly, that’s for sure!” I blink a few times. “It’s just for money?” “Well, well, welly, welly, well.” “Money can buy happiness, my boy!” “It’s a proven fact!” “Celestia never saw eye to eye with our grand plan.” “Didn’t like the idea of countless carnivals, banks, shopping malls, restaurants...” “Bowling alleys, cinemas, hospitals, oil derricks, libraries...” “Oh, but no schools!” “Right, of course!” “Terrible places.” “Never did nothing for nopony!” This is insane. It’s almost stupid. Ponies shouldn’t be dying just to have a bunch of buildings in Equestria. “Flim...Flam! This is Shining Armor. You will release Spike if you want your ransom.” “Oh, good show!” “It’s finally starting!” “What should we do first? I’ve got a clear shot of the boy’s cranium!” “That guard’s got a megaphone! Have we got a megaphone around here?” “Say, just crack the door open! Use those hefty lungs, brother! Tell the good ponies what they need to do!” One of the brothers trots to the front doors and opens them just enough to stick his head through. He starts calling out to Shining Armor, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. I look at the other stallion with the mustache and I can see that he’s not paying attention to me. He’s watching to see what happens at the door. “Hey...psst.” I try to whisper to him. He looks down at me and cocks his head to the side. “Yes, yes, what do you want?” “I just wanted to ask if you’ve ever really looked at your hooves.” “I can’t say I understand where you’re comin’ from.” “Well, I mean...you can’t really do a lot of things with hooves, can you?” “Ah. Hm. I suppose we do have trouble with everyday tasks.” “Yeah. When you think about it, hooves are pretty lousy. But claws...they’re pretty cool.” “Eh...claws?” “Yup! I’ve got ten of em’! I can tie knots and carry things...just stuff like that.” “Well...we can do those things with the aid of our mouths!” “Yeah, but it takes longer, doesn’t it?” He looks away and huffs. “That’s what I thought. You know, another good thing about claws is that they’re really sharp. They’re like knives!” “Really, now?” “Mhm. We can cut through a lot.” “Such as?” I shrug. “Well, rope’s pretty easy to cut through.” He nods his head and then he focuses on his brother at the door again. I don’t think he gets the idea, which means that this is my time to lash out. I slice through the last bit of rope that I’ve been working on and then I dive for him. He doesn’t see me coming. We both hit the ground and bump heads. I try not to slow down, though. I’m sitting on his chest now, so I have an advantage for a few seconds. I reach for the rope and wrap it around his neck. After this, I fumble around and try to tie the tightest knot I can muster. This causes him to panic. Judging from how constricting that knot is, I’m sure it’s almost impossible to breathe. He thrashes here and there and tries to untie the knot, but his hooves clumsily rub against the ends of the rope. If I give him a chance to recover, he could end up killing me. I try not to think about it too hard, because I’ll chicken out if I do. As fast as I can, I swing my claws and let them glide across his face. One after another, my claws peel away at his skin. Lines of blood are crawling down his cheeks. I can’t stop here. I grip each end of his dumb mustache and rip them clean off his lips. The adrenaline is helping out a lot in all of this. I almost can’t believe this is happening. I go for the eyes. I look at the ceiling and thrust my claws down. I don’t ease up. He’s trying his best to scream. Some of it can be heard, but it’s not enough to get anypony’s attention. I squeeze as hard as I can until I feel something burst. It takes me by surprise, so I finally recoil and hop off of him. I crawl backwards and try to get some space between us. He’s not moving. “F-F-Flammm!?!” the other one finally notices, “W-What in Equestria have you done!?” At that moment, the doors behind him fly open and a squad of royal guards dogpile on the stallion. “No, no, no!! This is all wrong, now! We had an understanding! Money first, lizard later!” Nopony answers his cries. Shining Armor looks in my direction, but he doesn’t say anything to me. He looks afraid. I decide not to stick around. I jump to my feet and scramble up the flight of stairs that are closest to me. I keep climbing the steps until I reach the top. I round a corner here and another corner there. I keep running through this mansion that I’m not familiar with, but it doesn’t matter. If I see stairs, I climb them. I make a few wrong turns, but it’s okay because, eventually, I find the path I need to take. I reach the roof and it’s all worth it. The sun’s setting. There’s a cold breeze. I can see the whole city from up here. I step up to the railing and look down. There’s a huge crowd of ponies forming around the front of the mansion. I lift myself up until I’m balancing myself on the stone rails. I hold my breath and decide that I’ll count to ten. One. There’s a gust of wind and I almost fall forward. Two. I think of Twilight and how she always kept a roof over my head. Three. Four. I think of my friend; the one that I pushed away. Five. Six. Seven. I think of how much Featherweight admired me, and what he’d say if he saw me now. Eight. Nine. Ten. .............. ............... ............. ................ ..................... Eleven. “Oh, get down from your high horse.” I gasp and let all of the tears escape. I fall backwards when I try to turn around too quickly, but he catches me. I’m taken away from the railing and then we just hover in the air for a while. “Spikey Wikey, just what are you trying to do? We all trusted that you would push through.” “I-I killed s-somepony, Discord...” He wipes a tear from my eye and cradles me. “And it’s a shame that you didn’t pick off the other buffoon. Nonetheless, this is a crowning achievement.” “Huh?” I sniff. “You’ve made an enemy. You have living proof that you’ve stood for something that wasn’t shiny and edible.” He chuckles. “Why are you always here?” “Now, now. Why do you insist on questioning what you have?” I don’t say anything else. I look at the sun and wait for it to disappear behind the mountains. It could happen any second now. “Let’s just enjoy it while there’s still time.”
Rarity's Black HairIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ I’m not good at telling stories, but I’ll give it a shot. You probably don't even know what's going on, but everypony's talking about me right now. I screwed up big time, just because I wanted Rarity to like me. I trusted the wrong draconequus. I’m talking about Discord. Please don’t ask how I got involved with him. I’ll get to it later. So, it starts while I’m at the house with Twilight. It’s almost midnight. “This bow tie looks stupid.” I’m just glaring at myself in the mirror. I don’t look like somepony who’s excited about their first date. “Trust me, Spike. I know she’ll love it.” Twilight was talking about how Rarity would think I’m pretty sexy if I wore this big red bow. Twilight didn’t use the word “sexy”, though. She said I would look, “highly distinguished and approachable”. “But I’ll look good?” She just laughs at me. “Now, make sure you listen to everything she says. Rarity likes to talk about a variety of things if you give her the chance. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself listening to how this shade of red doesn't go with a dress, or how this hairstyle will go out of style next year. But whatever you do, just act like you’re listening.” “I've had a lot of practice.” I roll my eyes. “Oh, well that’s good!” Twilight doesn't catch on that I was making fun of her. And now she’s standing behind me and reaching around with her hooves to straighten the big red bow for the tenth time, “Are you excited?” “I might be if I can take this off.” “Don’t be cynical, Spike. You want to look good for your date, right?” “Can’t I just wear the mustache?” Twilight laughs again. I’m convinced that she doesn't take me seriously anymore. “Okay, did you use the cologne I got you?” “No. I smell fine.” “You smell like a dragon.” she giggles and sprays a cloud of smell-good stuff in my face, stinging my eyes and making me sneeze. When I’m trying to rub the tears away, Twilight hears a knock at the door, “Oh, that must be the girls. Spike, you need to go ahead and meet Rarity in town. I’m having a sleepover tonight.” “With who?” I head over to the front door with Twilight. “The girls.” I wish she would look down and see the face I’m giving her. __________________________________________________ The date with Rarity is really awkward. We’re just sitting on top of a hill at midnight, looking at stars. I guess it’s pretty romantic, but I’m just worried about how stupid she thinks my big red bow looks. She hasn’t said anything about boring dresses or hairstyles. “You know, Spike, I really am quite impressed that you came out tonight.” “Really?” “Well, of course! Twilight told me all about how nervous you were.” “She did?” My face starts flushing and turning red. I’m ready to go back home and crash the sleepover after hearing that. “Oh, don’t worry. It’s perfectly normal, darling. And you can remove that silly bow tie. I know how much you hate those things.” As I rip the bow off my neck, I almost ask her how she knows that. But then I remember all the times when she would play dress-up with me and experiment with all sorts of lame clothes. Personally, my favorite will always be the mustache. “So what do you wanna do?” I try not to let my voice crack. “Oh, Spikey Wikey, we can do whatever you want.” she bats her eyes at me. I can’t help it when she does that. I start feeling dizzy and my claws go numb. My heart feels really heavy. I try to catch my breath. I’m gonna kiss her. There’s no turning back because both of us are already leaning in. It’s almost like we planned for this to happen. But then I feel my throat tighten. My eyes get really big and I know what’s about to happen. HICCUP! A rush of warm air erupts from my throat and I close my eyes. Please stop. Don’t do this. I end up burping really loud and a fireball hops out of my mouth and heads straight for Rarity’s pretty face. The fireball practically eats her whole head. “WHA-? SPIKEEEEEE! OH, MY HAIR! SPIKE, MY HAIR!!” Rarity starts punching her own face with her hooves. She looks like she’s trying to swat a bunch of flies on her head. I look down from the hill and I see a stream of water nearby. Without thinking, I just go ahead and shove her off the edge. She screams all the way down and makes a big splash. “Rarity! You all right?” I lean over and look down until I see her head plop up from the water. She starts swinging her hooves everywhere and sending water in all directions. “SPIKEEEEE!” “It’s okay, your hair actually looks pretty cool when it’s all black like that!” “Spike, just....go home! Please, just go!” Well, I guess that wraps it up. I really did like her hair, though... _________________________________________________ So yeah, I ruined the date with my dumb fire breath. Why can’t I be a pony like Rarity? Being a dragon is just lame, and I don’t have any dragon friends. All I have are these ponies who don’t take me seriously and don’t trust me. I can’t even go back in my own house because I’m scared to tell Twilight about the date. I’m just standing outside in the dark, and I can hear a lot of girls laughing from inside. I forgot about the sleepover. That just makes this worse. I take a deep breath and open the front door. The whole house goes quiet and the ponies turn around to look at me. “Oh, Spike! That was fast.” Twilight is the first one to pipe up. I clench my claws into fists. “Shoot, you look lower than a snake’s behind!” Applejack can already tell that I’m not myself. “Dude, you ok?” Rainbow Dash flies up to me and almost forgets to stop herself. Pinkie Pie doesn’t say anything. I think she knows that she would just make it worse. She can be too uppity sometimes. “Oh dear...Spike, is everything alright?” Fluttershy finally hits the nail on the coffin. The sound of her fragile voice just makes me well up. I can’t hold it in, so I just break down and run upstairs to my bed. “Be right back, girls.” I hear Twilight say. This is when she comes upstairs to sit down behind me. I try and pull the covers so that I’m hiding away from her, but that doesn’t stop her from rubbing her hoof along my side, “Spike, what happened?” she says in a whisper. “I d-don’t....wanna t-talk about it...” my sides are heaving like I’m constantly choking on my words. It’s the truth; I really don’t want to talk about my date. “You don’t need to bottle up your feelings.” “S-she doesn’t l-l-like m-me an-nymore...s-she-” “Shhhh.” Twilight cuts me off and keeps rubbing my ribs, “She still likes you.” “N-n-nnn-no she doesn’t!” “Why wouldn’t she like you?” I’m about to answer her, but the door cracks open and light pours into the room. “Yo, Twi.” It’s Rainbow Dash, “Do we need to leave, or...?” “No, no. It’s fine. I’ll be out there in just a second.” The door closes. Twilight sighs. I cry. “Look...we’ll talk about this in the morning. Try to get some sleep, Spike.” And she gets up to go party with her friends. It makes me feel really lonely again. I can’t stop thinking about how cool it’d be if I had a buddy that was a dragon like me. We could stay up late and hangout and talk about our favorite gems and- “Well, well, well. Spikey Wikey seems to be having a bad night. How sad.” I stop crying and freeze. My spine tingles because I know that voice. It’s still just as scary and evil as I remember. The only thing I can ask myself is, ‘Why me?’. I hear the floorboards creak under his weight. “Oh, I know you hear me. Don’t play coy with me.” “W-what do you want?” I finally croak. “What do I want? Why, I simply want to make sure you’re alright.” “I’m fine.” I grit my teeth. “You don’t have to lie to me, Spikey Wikey.” “Look, I had a bad night.” “Yes, I saw that. You had quite an explosive reaction with Rarity.” he starts chuckling. I’m not laughing, though. Suddenly, he lays a claw on my back. I can’t help but flinch. “I can help you, ya know.” “...go away.” I say quietly. “Now, now. Don’t be so quick to pull the trigger. I have a proposal.” “No.” I’m not interested. “Nopony has to know but you and me. Except..we’re not ponies, are we?” I’m listening. “We’re dragons, aren’t we? Yes, very much different from the others.” “What do you want?” I ask again. It’s obvious that he came for something. He doesn’t care about me. “Well, I don’t like to admit it, but...I’d become rather lonesome.” “Huh?” It didn’t make sense. How could a god of chaos have feelings like that? “Oh, yes. It’s very true. I was wondering if you would like to be friends.” “Why me?” “Spike, I know how you feel ostracized from the group. I could help you feel loved again.” he says this while he gives my spine a light squeeze. “My friends love me.” “Do they? Why aren’t they partying with you? Did they even invite you?” I don’t say anything. This is when he gasps, “They didn’t? Oh, that’s horrendous!” “I guess...” “That’s not right at all! Friends should be sticking together and helping each other, much like how I’m doing right now.” I finally sit up and look over at him. Discord. His red eyes look like they’re glowing in this dark room. He’s just coiled up on the floor like a snake. He looks a lot longer than he usually does. I don’t know if that’s true or if he’s making himself look like that. It doesn’t matter. “What’s your stupid proposal?” I have to ask. “Well, it’s hardly stupid. I just want to be friends! Would that be so bad?” I think about this. I guess it can’t hurt. Besides, I’m pretty sure he’s been reformed now. “Sure, I guess.” I’m not sure if I’m saying yes to his proposal or if I’m agreeing that this could be pretty bad. “But now, you have to promise me that you won’t tell anypony.” “Wait...why?” I don’t know why he wants this to be a secret. If he’s not evil anymore, why does it matter? “Oh, you know how the ponies are. They always believe I’m up to no good.” “Well...you kinda are.” “Blah blah blah, that’s in the past!” I sigh and scratch the back of my head. “Okay.” “Splendid!” he flies up and throws his arms in the air. Then he puts his claws on his hips, “Now, Spike. As your new friend, I’m completely willing to help you with your Rarity problem.” “Really?” I sit up straighter and I feel my tail wagging like a dog. “Of course. I am a god, after all. All I have to do is snap my fingers and that pony will fall head over hooves for you.” “Oh, please please please! Could you really do that?” I’m trying not to get too excited, but it’s so hard to contain myself. “Certainly! But, Spike...” He pauses and flies closer to me so that our snouts are almost touching, “...I need you to do a quick favor for me.”
The Rise of FeatherweightIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ So, I open my eyes and squint because of the sun rays through my window. I can smell breakfast being made downstairs. I sit up and stretch out my arms with a yawn. I wonder if the other ponies are staying to eat with us this morning. I blink a couple times and rub my eyes to get the crud out. This is when I feel like I want to throw up. I’m thinking about last night with Discord. I can still feel his hot breath when he asked me to help him. I really don’t know if I’m up to it. I mean, I really like Rarity...like, a lot. But is it really worth it? “Spike? Rise and shine! Get out of bed!” Twilight’s calling me now. I sigh and grumble, because nopony needs to be awake this early after what I just went through. “Comingggg....” I manage to groan. I slide out of bed and give my body one more good stretch. When I loosen back up, I see something new in my room. My mouth turns dry, and I start thinking all kinds of thoughts. Like, did anypony see this in my room? Who put it here? What are they trying to tell me? I walk over to my bookshelf and stare at the stuffed animal that’s showing off its teeth. It looks just like Discord. I almost start to think that maybe it is Discord. Maybe he’s watching me. Maybe he’ll always be watching me. “Spikeeee?” Twilight’s getting tired of waiting. I start planning lots of ways that I could get rid of the thing. I could just take it out back and scorch it. Easy. “Just a second!” I call back. It wouldn’t be that easy. Discord might think that I’m cutting off our deal, and then who knows what would happen to me? ___________________________________________________ Breakfast is really weird. Not the food. The food is really good, but like...I’m just waiting for Twilight to ask about my date like she said she would. She either forgot about the whole thing or it’s taking her a long time to get around to it. She keeps looking at me for a long time, and then she looks away when I notice it. Maybe she knows about Discord? “So, Spike.” my tail starts wagging because I’m really nervous. “Mhm?” “Today is Princess Celestia’s birthday.” “Oh! Uh, I forgot about that.” I fake a laugh and look down at my plate. “As usual, we’ve been asked to help with the preparations.” She’s talking about the big party that they have at the castle every year. The mane six is always asked to help set up these things. This year is the first time that I’m thinking about declining the invitation altogether. “Hey, Twilight?” I fiddle with my thumbs. She just tilts her head and waits for me to talk, “I can tell you anything, right?” “Of course!” she brightens up, and that kind of makes me feel better about everything. I cough in my fist and take in a long breath. “Well, Discord’s back-” “Spike!!” Twilight just slams her front hooves on the table, “I thought I could trust you!” I don’t know what to say, so I just stare at her. That’s when I notice a long snaggletooth coming out of her mouth, and it looks like her eyes turned red too. “What...?” That’s all I can say right before there’s a purple explosion. Nothing gets knocked back, but there’s a gust of wind and everything just looks like its had purple dust thrown on it. I’m already trying to think of ways to explain this to the other ponies. I never thought I’d see the day when Twilight explodes in a purple cloud. “Oh, Spikey Wikey. I expected better from you.” The voice on the other end of the table isn't Twilight’s anymore. I cough and wave the purple dust out of my face. It’s all over the table and on the floor. It just kind of blends in with my scales, though. When the air clears up, I see Discord reclining in the air. He’s got this smug look on his face like he’s completely in control. “Where’s Twilight?” I clear my throat again and wave in front of my face. “Oh, there never was a Twilight. Not this morning, at least. Not here.” “What do you mean?” he’s not making any sense. “I mean that your precious pony friend is already at Celestia’s castle, helping with the festive decor.” He smiles and I can see that snaggletooth again. “Why?” I can’t think of anything else to say. “Because there’s a PARTY!!” he spins around in the air and bursts of confetti shower the purple dining room. “No...why’d you play this stupid prank on me? I have enough to deal with already.” “Oh, come now. You need to trust me. I wouldn’t have devised this magnificent charade if it wasn’t for your own good.” I sigh and shake my head. I can’t even think of what to say. “Spike, I needed to know that you wouldn’t tell anypony about our little deal.” he folds his arms, “Clearly, I was right to be suspicious. You didn’t even last nearly as long as I had hoped. Tsk, tsk, tsk.” “Shut up.” I look away and huff. “Not until you promise to be on your best behavior at the birthday party.” “Why should I? I can just tell Celestia everything and you’ll be gone.” I’m finally starting to feel like I have some control over him. “That may be true, but I’ve adopted a new policy. You see, toying with your little ponies has too often ended in my defeat.” and before he finishes what he’s going to say, he snaps his fingers and disappears in a flash. “Wait, where did you...” I can’t even keep talking when I feel that hot breath again on the back of my neck. “Let me put it this way. It will be rather difficult for you to say much without a head or a tongue.” I can feel his sharp nails cutting into my arm, “I’ll always be with you, dear Spike. Utter a single word, and I’ll lash out. You'll be first, and then your lovely Rarity will follow. The rest will end in bloodshed.” There’s a bright light and I have to shield my face with my claw. I see an image of Discord sitting on the throne in Celestia’s castle. All of the ponies are bowing down to him. I don’t know if I’m watching this happen or if I’m a ghost. I try to pick out all of the ponies in the throne room. I see Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. They all look miserable. I wish I knew where Twilight and Fluttershy were. I already know where Rarity is. It’s probably the worst part about everything I’m seeing right now. I don’t wanna talk about what I’m looking at. Thank Celestia she’s not alive to see her beautiful self being treated like this. Discord doesn’t even look like Discord anymore. He looks like something that would give birth to someone like Discord. He’s just looking down at all of these ponies like he’s their king. Then he snaps his fingers and there’s another flash. When I look up, he’s floating above the dining room table again and looking like his usual silly self. I almost missed him. “So we still have a deal? I’d rather we didn’t have to resort to such harsh methods.” he puts his claws on his hips. I’m trying to catch my breath. I’m caught in between tackling him or just shutting up and crying. I guess what I really want is to make him go away, so I decide to play by his rules for now. “Okay. I’m sorry.” I hang my head in shame. The other ponies would be disappointed in me. “Wonderful! I’ll be watching you at the party!” he flies up to me and pats me on the head, “Try to have a good time, now.” and he vanishes in another flash. I open my eyes and the house is back to normal. There’s no more purple, and there’s no more Discord. Well...not exactly. I look in front of me and I can see that stupid stuffed animal sitting in the other chair across from me. One of its red eyes winks at me. _____________________________________________________ The party starts in another couple of hours. We’re still trying to get everything perfect for tonight. Thoughts of Discord still haunt me. It hasn’t really soaked in yet. This Discord isn’t the same prankster that we were all familiar with. This one is a lot more violent, and it feels like he isn’t afraid to get his claws dirty this time. But still...I have to try and believe that he’ll help me with Rarity. After that, he’ll go away. “Spike, ya made it!” I hear Applejack coming up from behind me. I turn around and try to keep my cool. “Heh, yeah. I kind of overslept a little.” “A little? We went and tried everything just to wake yer lazy bones!” she laughs, looking over at some ponies that are balancing on ladders to pin up a giant ‘Happy Birthday’ banner, “Ya think she’ll like everything?” “She always does.” I cross my arms watch the hardworking ponies with Applejack. I keep my eye on a small one that’s at the very top of the ladder. It looks like he’s trying his best to reach over and pin the banner to the wall, “Do you know where Rarity is?” Applejack looks away and up like she knows something I don’t. “She, uhh...didn’t feel like comin’ tonight.” she says quickly. I already know the answer when I’m about to ask my question. “What’s wrong?” “Bad hair day, she said.” she keeps saying all of this like she knows it’s my fault, “So, what all have ya done to help out so far?” Applejack and I don’t look at each other while we’re talking. I can’t tell if she’s talking about Rarity’s hair or the party decorations, so I just go with the decorations. “Oh, you know.” I shrug. There’s an awkward pause. I almost want her to laugh so that she thinks I’m joking or something, but it’s the truth. Luckily, the uncomfortable silence is broken when that little worker pony falls off the ladder. He crashes into a bunch of equipment and the ladder follows him all the way down. The racket can be heard bouncing all over the castle walls. “Oh, shoot! Uh, I’m comin’!” This is when Applejack darts in that direction, but not before she looks back at me and says, “Ah’ll be right back, Spike!” I just sigh. I can’t try and act like any of this is exciting. I have a lot of other stuff on the brain. Speaking of other stuff... I look around and make sure that nopony’s watching me. It looks like the ladder accident has everypony distracted, so I slide out of the room and hurry down some long hallways. I hope I can remember which way it is. It’s been a while since I’ve had to actually find it, because I usually just stay home and deliver all the letters magically. That’s when I stop and look up. The throne room’s double doors almost stretch to the ceiling. I can’t waste any time. Anypony could trot by at any second, so I rush into the door and use all my strength to try and make them budge. One of the doors starts to inch forward. That’s good enough. I slip through the open crack and look around. It’s so weird to be in here without Princess Celestia’s permission. Every step I take on her red carpet feels like something stolen. I look to one side and I see the stained glass windows. Each one tells a story about something big that happened in Equestria. I can’t help but think that maybe my story will make it on one of those windows after this is done. I’m getting closer to the bejeweled door when I remember something. The Elements of Harmony are sealed by a spell that only Celestia can break. I should have thought about this when Discord asked me to do this in the first place. What am I supposed to do now? I’m worrying so much about the door that I almost don’t notice it glowing brightly. The room starts shaking and I have to keep myself from falling on my face. Can everypony hear what’s going on? How am I gonna explain this to them? Before I can come up with an answer, the door flies open. I guess everything makes sense. Discord stole the Elements last time, so he could easily do it again. But he needs my help, because Celestia’s new spell won’t let him lay a claw on the Elements. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...” I flinch and squeal a little when I hear an army of ponies singing in another room. It sounds muffled and really far away. I guess that means nopony knows I’m here yet. Inside this chamber, I can see the chest that holds the Elements. All I have to do is grab it and go. Just grab it and go, Spike! Just tell Twilight you got bored and went home. Nopony can prove anything. There’s no evidence. Just hide the Elements really well and nopony can trace this back to you. Just do it! “...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR CELESTIAAAA...” I gulp, fill up my lungs with air...and make a run for the hallway. I can’t do this. It’s so wrong! I should’ve just screamed and called for Twilight when Discord showed up at the sleepover. I run as fast as my little legs can carry me. The party starts in just a few minutes. I don’t even think to close the doors behind me. “...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU!” Everypony in the ballroom finishes their song and stomps their hooves. It feels like every single pony in Equestria was invited tonight. I’m having trouble just walking around the room. I have to squeeze between flanks and apologize to ponies I’ve never seen before. All I’m trying to do is find Twilight so I can tell her that I’m leaving. Then I hear somepony tapping on a microphone. The sound of it pulses through the room, and then somepony coughs into the microphone. “Princess Celestia never fails to impress. Whether it’s her undeniable beauty or her fearless attitude, the princess gives promise to the ponies-” I start blocking it out after that. It’s just some stallion giving a speech about how great Celestia is. I don’t recognize the voice. I don’t really care. All I want right now is to find Twilight, but all of these ponies are practically trees in a jungle. I eventually throw my claws in the air and give up. Nothing’s going right tonight. “Are you okay, Mister Spike?” I look around when I hear my name. The voice sounds like it could be coming from a mouse, “Down here, Mister Spike!” I look down at the floor and see a small pegasus pony. His big, brown eyes almost take up his whole head. I almost wanna ask him if he’s eaten anything today, because his legs look like they can barely hold him up. He brushes a hoof through his brown mane and laughs. “Gee, I’m almost as big as you!” he says this without looking at me in the face. I guess he’s pretty shy. “Uhh, yeah. Do I know you, little guy?” I have to ask. “I know you, Mister Spike! You live with Twilight Sparkle!” “Well...yeah, I do. What’s up?” “I’m a photographer!” he bounces a little. I don’t know how I missed the giant camera hanging around his neck. I can see myself in the big lens. I look pretty fat. I hope that’s just the lens and not my eating habits. “Oh! That’s pretty cool.” I try to sound like I’m really interested in this pony. “Yup! I wanted to take a picture of Princess Celestia...” he stops looking happy and looks down at the floor. He starts to trace the tiles with his hoof, “...I’m too little and I can’t see her very good.” I nod and cross my arms. I know how he feels, I guess. I can hardly get anywhere in this crowded room. And then something weird starts happening. I start thinking about Rarity. And then I start thinking about this little colt and his picture of Celestia. Looking back on everything, I just really want Rarity to like me. And this little guy just wants his picture so he can put it in the paper. I feel like maybe we can both get what we want, no matter how hard it is. So I shake my head and make up my mind. I walk away from everything and I head back to the hallways. The little pony squeaks a little bit and causes me to turn around. “Where are you going?” he looks like somepony just took his camera and smashed it in front of him. I just laugh and cup my claws around my mouth. “Use your wings!” I call out to him. I think he forgot that he’s a pegasus pony. The frown on his face flips upside down again. His little wings start flapping fast and hard, and then he slowly rises off the ground. “Oh yeah! Thanks, Mister Spike!” he waves at me and flies higher. I give him one more smile and turn back to the long halls. It doesn’t take me long to find the throne room again. All of the doors are still open, just how I left them. I quickly head inside the chamber, snatch the chest from its pedestal, and tuck it under my arm. After that, I’m already running for the front doors. I should make a living out of this whole stealing thing! CRASH I run straight into a pony around a corner. There’s a blinding flash, followed by the sound of camera shutters, and then I tumble to the floor. “Ow, ow, ow! Oh, gee! Mister Spike! I’m so sorry! I was just looking for you-” “It’s okay, little guy.” I slowly get up and dust myself off. The photographer looks more excited than before. “Spike, Spike! I got the picture! I did what you said and I flew really, really high! She looked right at me and smiled for the camera!” he keeps bouncing off the floor. “That’s good.” I can’t even act like I care this time. I’m just looking around myself to try and find that chest. Oh, there it is. I rush over to it and swipe it from the floor. “Hey, what’s that?” the little guy tilts his head to the side. “Uhh...just some stuff. Hey, I need to go. Keep taking pictures!” I yell before I turn and zip through the front doors. “...Mister Spike?”
The Mind Reading SpiderIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ I can’t sleep. I’m just pacing around my room. I stop every now and then to glance at the chest containing the stolen Elements. “Really, Spike, it isn’t healthy to work yourself up like this.” As usual, Discord’s acting like he actually cares about me. I can see through his sharp smile, though. He’s getting me caught in something big, and I don’t have the guts to fight back. I should have told Celestia everything when I was at the party. “Don’t even talk to me.” I cross my arms and stare at a corner of the room. “Why so glum? You did an excellent job!” “Just shut up.” “Actually, you really surprised me. I didn’t think you’d go through with the plan.” “Well, you got what you wanted.” “Very true!” he flies up behind me and pats my head, “I’m so proud of you, Spikey Wikey.” I throw my claw behind me and swat him away. “Why do you keep calling me that?” “I thought you liked it..” he actually looks a little hurt, but I have to remember that this is Discord. “Well, cut it out. That’s Rarity’s thing. Just call me Spike.” he shrugs and throws himself on my bed. “Have it your way.” it almost looks like he’s about to fall asleep when he curls up on the sheets. “So, is that it?” I take a few steps in his direction. He opens one eye and grins. “Ah, yes. My end of the deal was not forgotten.” he sits up and spawns a little figurine that looks like Rarity, and then he does the same thing for one that looks like me, “In seven hours’ time, the sun will rise. And as reward for your crime, shall you receive love’s surprise.” and he chooses this moment to have the two action figures hug each other while he makes sloppy kissing noises. “Well...good. Just don’t play any jokes on me this time, okay?” He doesn’t get a chance to answer because we both hear the front door burst open from downstairs, followed by the the trampling of hooves on hardwood floor. “Spike!! Spike? Spike, are you here?” It’s Twilight. She must have come straight from the party after word got out. Ugh, I can already see the headlines. I’ll have to remember to stay away from the papers for the next few weeks. I look over at Discord and his eyes have gotten wide. I think he might really be worried. “Spike...” he whispers, “If she sees any of this, you know I’ll have to become violent.” I’m already pushing the chest into my closet while he’s advising me. At first, I don’t really understand why Discord is so worried about being seen. I mean, the Elements of Harmony are his now. He can snap a finger and turn Ponyville into a world of chaos all over again. So why all of this sneaking around? Twilight busts the door open and finds me lying on my bed. There’s no Discord, and there are certainly no Elements of Harmony. She looks like she just galloped a marathon. “Spike, where have you been?” I stretch and yawn. “Oh. Hey, Twilight. How was the party?” I roll away and face the wall with my window. “Why did you just leave all of a sudden?” “Got bored, I guess.” “Well, wake up!” she steps deeper inside, “Something terrible’s happened!” I have to sit up and look confused or else she’ll suspect something. “Really? Uh, w-what’s wrong?” “It’s the Elements of Harmony. Somepony’s stolen them right under our noses!” “Oh, no! Who would do such a thing?” I think I’m starting to overdo it. “That’s exactly what we’re trying to figure out. You didn’t see anything suspicious, did you?” “Huh?” “At the party. Did anypony seem different to you?” “Uhhh...I don’t think so.” I scratch my head and hope that she’ll leave, “Does Celestia know?” “Of course she knows. She’s the one who made the announcement before anypony left.” “Oh...well, uhh...maybe we’ll find em’.” “I sure hope so, Spike.” she moves to my window and looks out, “We’re going to get the girls together and perform a search through Ponyville. We’ll go further than that if we have to.” “Good luck with that.” She turns and glares at me. “Now’s not the time to be lazy. You’re coming with us.” “Alright, alright!” I groan and lie back down. “Get plenty of sleep for tomorrow.” Twilight says when she decides to finally head for my door, “I’ll be downstairs. I need to sort all of this out.” And then my door shuts. That’s when I hear Discord snickering from somewhere in my room. “She looked right at me. How did she not see?” _________________________________________ Let me tell you what happened after Twilight left. I never went to sleep. I would just sit on my bed and listen to Discord sing songs about times before I was born. It reminded me of how wise he actually was. I mean, under all the chaos and pranking, he actually knew a lot about Equestria. I guess he should, seeing how he’s been here for centuries. He would sing about love for one minute, and then he would sing about friendship. I wanted to ask him how he knew about those things, but I guess it actually calmed me down to listen to him. I hate to say it, but he really had a nice voice. The sound of the rain hitting our roof made me tense, though. I figured that I would be fine as long as it didn't start thundering. FLASH I jumped when I saw the lightning outside my window. I threw the bed sheets over my face and waited for the rumbling of the storm. Discord stopped singing when the thunder started shaking the house a little. I think he only stopped because he saw me hiding, though. Before the lightning and the thunder, he would kind of look over at me and keep singing. But now he can probably see how scared I get when there’s all this noise outside. I can still remember feeling the bed shift around when Discord crawled next to me. At first, I yelled out and tried to push him away, but he just got closer and wrapped his body around me. I wanted to scream, but his tail was in the way of my mouth. I thought maybe he was about to kill me. “Shhh, you don’t want Twilight to hear, do you?” he whispered close to my ear so that I could feel how hot and wet his breath was. I was panting at that point, still wriggling around to get free, “Really, Spike, you become so flustered during these storms.” He chuckled and snapped his finger. I didn’t know what to expect when I heard that. When Discord snaps his fingers, anything can happen. But nothing bad happened to me. I was still in my bed. Discord was still wrapped around me. The rain stopped, though, so I guess that’s all he did. Some droplets were still dripping from outside my window, but no more rain fell down from the sky that night. When I sighed with relief, I guess Discord felt like it was safe to uncover my mouth. That was when he started petting me. Yeah, I thought it was really weird. This wasn’t like him at all. I felt like he should’ve had better things to do than cuddle with a little dragon nobody like me. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that he was up to something. It just took me a long time to figure out what it was. But anyway, that’s what happened when Twilight left. _________________________________________ Right now, the sun’s starting to rise. The birds are all chirping and waking everypony up for the big day. Yeah...the only thing big about today is that it’ll be a big waste of time. Twilight wants us to go around Ponyville and look for the Elements, but nopony’s gonna think about looking in my closet. It’s kind of scary to think about how easy it was to steal them so easily. At the same time, it’s kind of a rush. I still remember how excited I felt when I snatched them from Celestia’s castle. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that I’m starting to get greedy again. “Good morning, Spikey Wikey.” I almost punch Discord right in the snout for calling me that, but then I remember that Twilight had sent me to Rarity’s house this morning. I guess I was too busy thinking about the stormy night that I forgot where I am. I’m supposed to tell her about the search party. “Oh, good morning...” I step through her door and she closes it behind me. I have to shake my head a lot to try and wake up. I’m still groggy from last night. “Are you alright? You seem a little...off.” she trots ahead of me and pushes a chair in my direction. I don’t have a choice, because I practically fall into it from exhaustion. “I’m tired...” I say into the arm of the chair. “Well, I can see that.” she almost laughs. “You don’t hate me, do you?” I slowly sit up and rub my eyes. “Hate you? Why, what would prompt such a silly question?” I can’t tell if she’s being snarky or if she really has gotten over it. “You know...the hair thing.” She sort of stares at me for a little longer before blowing up with laughter. “Oh! No, no, no, Spike. I don’t hate you for that. I mean...” she stops herself and looks to the side, “I mean, yes, it was rather embarrassing, but...no. No, I could never hate you, darling.” I smile a little and look at her mane. It’s back to normal, somehow. “Hey, your hair looks better already!” “Hehe, well...it’s a wig. But thank you, Spike.” Then I just feel bad again. “So, tell me all about the party!” she leans in and gets all giddy. I’m not sure what to tell her. I know how bad she wanted to go, and I don’t wanna sit here and talk about how fancy it was. Plus, I can’t just tell her that I went and stole the Elements of Harmony. “Eh, I dunno. I didn’t stay long at all.” “Really?” she tilts her head, “Why is that?” I shrug, “Just didn’t seem fair if you couldn’t be there.” “Oh, Spike...you’re too sweet.” she smiles and just keeps looking at me like she wants to tell me something really important, “I suppose I did overreact about my hair that night. I didn’t mean to upset you.” “It’s okay.” I wave a claw at her. “No, really. It was wrong; it was absolutely atrocious behavior.” I can’t think of anything to say, so I just keep listening. She’s getting really into it. “Nopony says it often enough, Spike, but...” Rarity looks down like she’s about to start crying, but then she looks up again, “...you really are a good dragon. Please don’t let anypony tell you anything different. Promise me that.” My cheeks feel really warm right now and I can’t help but smile really big. “Y-You’re not just saying that?” “Of course not! You’re one of the most considerate ponies...err...” she laughs and hides her face. That makes me laugh too, “No, really...” she catches her breath gets serious again, “What I’m trying to say is that you’re absolutely divine, Spike. I don’t know why I never realized it.” I sit here and try to let that soak in. She’s dishing out more compliments than usual. Everything she’s saying is borderline romantic. Does this mean that Discord was telling the truth for once? Is...Rarity falling in love with me? Everything stops for a second. I fall through my chair like a ghost. I fall through the floor like a ghost. I fall through the ground. Through the earth. Through Equestria. I black out. My heartbeat is the only sound, and it starts beating faster. I can feel my scales warming up. It’s like I’ve hopped into a bath that’s too hot. But it doesn’t sting or burn. It wraps around me like a blanket, like I’m being held by the mother I never had. That feeling of belonging somewhere. I’ve never felt it before. It’s Rarity. It’s always been Rarity. It doesn’t matter where life takes me. When I’m with Rarity, I feel like this. And maybe she’s finally understanding that. That’s when Discord ruins the moment and taps my shoulder. As soon as I feel his presence, I skyrocket to the ceiling and cling to a chandelier. “You?!” I scream with my eyes tightly shut, “W-What are you doing here?! Um...uh...Rarity, go get help! I don’t know anything about this, I swear!” “Spike, do calm yourself.” I open my eyes and I’m floating back down to my seat, “Your precious Rarity left the room to fetch some tea. I waited for the right moment to step in.” When my butt hits the soft chair, I start to relax. Discord isn’t lying, because Rarity is obviously not in the room anymore. Plus, it looks like he stole her seat. He’s reclining and sipping from a cup of his own tea that he probably just now spawned. “Enjoying yourself?” he gives me this drunk smile that looks all-knowing at the same time, like this is just a game to him. “What do you mean?” I ask him, but I feel like I’ve asked it a hundred times with no real answer. “Spike?” I hear Rarity’s voice echoing from the kitchen, “Why were you yelling? Who’re you talking to?” “Uh...um, nopony! Just...I was just...” my heart feels like it can’t beat any faster without coming loose and bouncing around my insides. “Psst.” When I hear that, I look over at Discord and I can see that he’s about to whisper something, “You saw a spider.” “Oh! I...I saw a spider!” “A spider? Is that all?” she sounds like she doesn’t believe me. Discord nods and sips from his cup again. “Yeah, yeah! A big one!” there’s a pause before I can hear her laughing. “Well, I do hope you didn’t make a mess.” I sigh and try to let the conversation between me and Rarity die. I don’t want her trotting through here with the spirit of chaos making himself home in her living room. “Sounds like she’s taken quite a hefty liking to you.” Discord says this while resting his chin on his lion paw and his elbow sitting on the arm of the chair. From top to bottom, he just really looks like he’s up to something. “Yeah, I guess.” I sound a little more bored than I mean to. It makes him wave his talon at me. “Oh, don’t downplay what’s going on here. You know what’s going on here.” I take a second before answering. I’m crossing my arms and I’m not looking at him. Yeah, I know what’s happening. It’s just hard to admit it. I’d like to believe that everything happened naturally. It makes me nauseous to think that Rarity is reading from a script, that Discord’s strings are guiding her hooves around the house. “Yeah, so?” I huff and keep glaring at the carpet. “So let’s see a glimmer of gratitude, shall we?” he actually sounds a little upset. “Thanks.” I make it as dry as I can. I think it struck a nerve, because this makes him growl and throw his arms up in the air, along with his cup of tea. It crashes against the wall and bits of debris fly out in all directions. I almost cover my face from all the flying pieces, but then everything starts happening in reverse. All of the wreckage regroups back to the wall, the moment of impact. From there, the pieces reassemble themselves until there’s a cup zipping back to Discord’s talon, which snatches the cup in midair like the whole thing was choreographed. It was like nothing had happened. “I see you’ve been doubling your dose of Twilight’s books. Your vocabulary has vastly improved, Spike.” Discord says this while sipping his tea again. “Huh?” It takes me a minute to think about what he means by that. He’s either being sarcastic or...was he reading my thoughts? “On the contrary, I still am.” he can’t say this without chuckling first, but right now I’m starting to feel like I’m losing all of my privacy, “I wouldn’t worry yourself, Spikey Wikey. I don’t plan on being here for very long. Well...not physically, anyway.” “Look!!” I hop out of my chair and clench my fists, “Stop calling me that! I want you to just get out of here! I’m trying to have some quality time with Rarity! Can you just go away for ten minutes or something?!” Discord’s eyes get really big, and then he just relaxes. His eyebrows drop really low so that he’s narrowing his eyes. It’s like he finally knows how things are, but he doesn’t look very happy about it. “I think I’ll give you a day or two to think about your attitude.” he says this like a teacher would say to a trouble-making student, and then he just snaps his finger and flashes out of the room. I don’t even have time to blink. “Spike, are you still talking to that awful creature?” Rarity comes in from behind me. I turn around and I can see that she’s levitating two cups of tea on either side of her. I’m not sure if she’s talking about the spider or if she knows that Discord was just here. I decide to play it safe. “Heh, yeah...that darn spider.” I scratch the back of my head and look down. I can feel myself turning red in the cheeks. Rarity just smiles. Maybe she really doesn’t suspect anything. “Well, I hope that’s the last time we see him.” she says this while heading over to her chair, the one that Discord was sitting in just seconds ago, “There you go, darling.” she levitates one of her teacups my way. I don’t waste any time and I grab a hold of it as soon as I can. I really just think I’m afraid that it’ll fly away and crash into something if I don’t hold it close. I don’t even like tea all that much, but I slurp the surface just to be polite. “So, tell me.” she pauses and adjusts her wig with a hoof. Her tone sounds a lot more dark and serious, “Do they have any leads on that vile thief?” “Hm? Thief?” I get a little too defensive, “I don’t know anything! Wait, what are you talking about?” Rarity tilts her head and squints, “You mean...you haven’t...?” she laughs and shakes her head while looking down at the floor, “I’m sorry, I just thought you knew. I suppose it does make sense. You did say that you didn’t stay very long, is that right?” I can feel the teacup trembling in my claw. I’ve never tried so hard to take even breaths of air. Luckily, all of this adrenaline keeps me talking. “Oh! The Elements of Harmony!” I fake a chuckle and wave at her, “I didn’t know what you were talking about for a second. Yeah, yeah, uhh...yeah, Twilight actually wants to snoop around town for any clues and stuff. She wants you to come with us.” Rarity nods very slowly and her eyes wander to one side of the room. “I suppose that’s why you’re here, then?” “Yup!” I slurp some more of her mop water tea. I feel like I said something wrong, but I’m really just trying to stop talking about the recent theft, “So, you wanna help us out?” I can tell that she forces a smile, “Oh, of course! I just need to...clean the kitchen, but...yes, of course. I’ll head straight to the library after I freshen up.” she takes our cups and heads to the kitchen, “You can stay and wait if you like.” she adds before leaving the room. I just sit in my chair and look up at the chandelier. I look over at the corners of the ceilings. All four of them. My eyes crawl down the walls. I suddenly look over my shoulder, and then I look over my other shoulder. I’m still being watched. I wipe my mouth with my arm and try to ignore the aftertaste of the tea. I try to ignore the elephant in the room, the eyes that I can feel through the back of my neck. It’s like an itch that I can’t reach. But I try to think about other stuff. In just a few minutes, I’ll be with the other girls. We’ll be on the hunt for the Elements that are in my closet. If I could, I would just stay right here and tell Rarity to stay with me. It’s the only thing I ever wanted out of this.
Spike vs. JournalismIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ Everypony made it to the library. I didn’t really expect Rarity to actually come with me, though. I just feel like everything I do is rubbing her the wrong way. It doesn’t make any sense because she’s supposed to start falling love with me. I could have sworn it was working for a second there. It really was working, right? “Alright, girls.” Twilight helps me snap back to reality, “I want us to split up into groups so we can cover more ground.” Sure, that makes sense. Cover more ground. Whatever. As long as we get away from the library as soon as possible, let them split up as much as they want. “Now, wait a minute.” Applejack cuts in, “Before we all start trompin’ around town, Ah wanna know what everypony thinks about this here situation.” “Yeah!” Pinkie Pie bounces into the the group, “Like, why would somepony wanna take the Elements of Harmony? Who could be so mean and sad and crazy-” “I dunno!” Rainbow Dash interrupts and hovers above the ground while she punches the air, “But if you ask me, they’re about to get what’s coming!” Note to self: watch out for Dash. Fluttershy just looks around like she’s scared, “Um...maybe they just need a friend.” “Who knows?” Twilight moves to the middle of the circle, “Right now, we need to focus on finding clues before it’s too late. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, you two will look around town square.” And then the two ponies fly away in some other direction. “Applejack and Pinkie Pie, check out the marketplace.” And then they gallop away in another direction. “Rarity, you and I will investigate the-” “Hey!” I feel sick when I hear that little voice. The squeak that sounds like a mouse trying to get your attention. The three of us look down and see a frail pegasus pony on four shaking legs. There’s a familiar camera dangling from his neck. Twilight arches a brow, “Um...hello?” The small guy hops around and laughs, “Are you guys gonna look for the Elements?” Rarity smiles, “That’s simply adorable. Would you like to come along?” If I didn’t love that pony from head to hoof, I’d probably have already tackled her to the ground. Having this photographer on our backs is just going to make everything more risky. “Really!?” he looks like he’s about to explode, “Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!” “Hold on, Rarity.” Twilight steps forward. She must be able to read minds, too. She looks down at the little pony and narrows her eyes, “What’s your name?” “Oh!” he giggles and runs a hoof through his mane, “I’m Featherweight!” “Hm. Well, Featherweight, what makes you want to come with us?” “Uhh...um, I can take pictures and look for clues!” he jumps a little and laughs. “Oh, really?” Twilight sounds skeptical, “Are you sure you’re not looking for a good story to publish in the paper?” Featherweight freezes and his jaw slacks a bit. That’s when Twilight loosens up and laughs, “It’s okay. Maybe you can help us.” “Really? For real?” “Sure, why not?” she confirms, looking at me and Rarity like she’s thinking, “Who *is** this pony?”* “That’s so cool! Um, um...hey, where can we go? Where do you want us to go?” he smiles really big and shows off a pair of buck teeth. Twilight thinks and looks up at the clouds, “Well, I was thinking about sending Spike to Canterlot. Maybe you can go with him.” Yeah, I have to say something now. “Or!” I get everypony’s attention, and now I feel like I’m standing in a hot spotlight and I’ve forgotten my line, “Or....or, uhh...maybe he can go with you and Rarity.” Twilight grins, “Oh, don’t be silly, Spike. You can’t tell me that you want to investigate Canterlot all by yourself.” Maybe I do. “Besides...” she keeps going, “...Princess Celestia is expecting you. Your friend can look around the castle while you’re busy.” A shiver travels down my spine when I hear about the princess. “C-Celestia? What does she want with me?” “She wouldn’t tell me. I told her about our search party and then she asked for you, specifically, to visit her in the castle.” “Do I have to?” I can feel my teeth chattering. Twilight blinks, “She’s the princess, Spike. Of course you have to. Why?” “It’s just...” I stop myself and wonder if I should just spill the beans right here and right now. Discord said he would buzz off for a while. Maybe he’s not watching me, “It’s just that...maybe...” “Spike, do use your words, darling.” Rarity’s losing her patience. “I’m just nervous!” I yell out. It’s not really a lie, but it’s not really the whole truth, either. They both laugh. Twilight catches her breath and rubs an eye, “Oh, you’ll be fine. Maybe she just wants to see if you’re okay.” “Yeah...I hope so.” I look down at Featherweight, who’s been smiling this whole time like a foal at a carnival. “Anyway, everypony will meet back here at sunset.” Twilight turns and trots away. Rarity lingers and tells me, “Good luck.” before leaving. That’s when it occurs to me that they never told me where they’re going to search. No big deal, I guess. We’ll just meet at the library after Celestia talks to me, and then I’ll get to hear about how nopony found any clues. “Ready to go, Mister Spike?” the little photographer pipes up, making me want to punch him in the nose. I’m not an idiot. I know exactly what this little guy wants. Twilight even said it to his face. All he wants is a good story to get his name out there. He’s the last pony I need following me around. But I bite my tongue and just sigh. “Let’s go.” ___________________________________________ “You are now departing from..Ponyville.” The train ride to the fancy city of Canterlot is a long one. Mainly because Featherweight won’t leave me alone. He’s been sitting across from me and asking about my job as Celestia’s messenger. I told him that all I do is send Twilight’s letters to the princess, and vice-versa. But he wants more info. Just like any other journalist, he’s looking for something spicy or out of the ordinary for his newspaper. “So, is that all you do?” he tilts his head. He seems disappointed. “Yep. Pretty much.” “Wow...that’s really boring.” I claw at the seat beneath me and leave scratches in the soft material. “Are you okay, Mr. Spike?” “Sure.” I rub my temples because I’m starting to get a headache. “You don’t look like you’re okay.” “I’m really okay.” I say more directly. “So, who do you think did it?” “Did what?” “Stole the Elements!” he says excitedly like he answered a question correctly on a game show. “Hey, keep it down.” I say quietly and look around the train. Some ponies are already starting to look over here, but nothing major. Eventually, they go back to what they were doing. “Oh, sorry!” he says in a whisper, “So, who did it?” “How should I know?” “Well, you were holding the Elements of Harmony at the party, right?” I have to sit there and think if I really just heard those words come out of his mouth. “W-w-what? You...I didn't...uh...” He laughs like he just told a joke, but he keeps going along with it. “You know! At the party! I took your picture! See?” and he holds out a photo of me at the party, just like he said. I snatch it from him and try to get a closer look. I’m making a stupid face and my arms are all over the place. I think it was taken when I ran into Featherweight. But still, it’s clear as any other picture you would see in the morning paper. I’ve been caught red-handed by this pipsqueak. But I can’t let this happen. This won’t happen. So I rip the photo in half and then I tear the two pieces into four parts, and then I just keep shredding the pieces into little bits. “Hey, stop it!” he comes at me and scrambles to take the pieces from my claws, but I can see him coming before he can make it in time. I open the window to my right and toss all of the scraps outside the train. The wind carries them away, never to be seen again. When I close the window and sit back in my chair, I notice Featherweight pressing his face against the cold glass. “Why did you do that...?” he says before he starts crying silently, “That was...my best picture...you tore up my favorite picture, Mr. Spike!” But I don’t have any time to feel sorry for him. “Why did you have that picture!?” I raise my voice. I can’t help it. I’m just so angry right now. He turns to me and he has tears streaming down his cheeks, “I don’t know...” “Don’t lie to me! What were you gonna do with it?” “Your next stop is...Canterlot.” Featherweight tries to stop stammering and get his words out. “I w-was just...I w-w-wanna get a g-goo-ood storyy-y!” he hides his face behind his hooves like he’s ashamed. Good. I hope he’s ashamed. “Were you gonna show that to Celestia!?” I yell again. I don’t even look around to see who’s watching. He just nods. It takes every bit of my energy to hold back from attacking him. From here, I start whispering harshly. “Do you know what they’d do to me!?” He shakes his head, but he still won’t lower his hooves. “They’d take me away!” This is when he finally stops hiding and looks at me, “What do you mean...?” “Jail! I don’t wanna go to jail!” “So, you...you really did steal the Elements of Harmony?” “Yeah...I did.” I fidget when I finally admit it, “But nopony’s gonna believe you without proof, so just stop before you get any ideas.” “But they can’t arrest you, Mr. Spike! You’re the messenger dragon!” I know we’re both whispering, but I can’t help but worry that somepony’s gonna hear us and make a straight shot for the princess when the train stops. “It doesn’t matter. Anypony can get in trouble for something like this.” “Now arriving at...Canterlot. Have a nice day.” The train screeches to a halt and I use this time to swipe at Featherweight’s camera. He’s quick, though. He hops back and sits down in his seat where he’s out of my reach. I sigh and then I point a sharp finger at him, “Look. No pictures today. Got it?” His big, brown eyes are still watering. He nods his head in silence. “Actually...don’t ever take any pictures around me, and don’t take any pictures of me, either.” “Okay...” he looks scared. “Good. C’mon.” And the two of us step off the train. From here, we have the perfect view of Canterlot’s tall buildings and shiny streets. In the distance, we can both see our next destination, the royal castle. I swear...if I see a single flash, I’ll have another felony over my head.
TreasonIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ “Halt, citizen! State your business.” the guard at the front gate looks straight ahead and doesn’t even give me a glance. “Um, it’s me...Spike? Celestia wants to see me.” I prepare for the worst and get ready to make a run for the train. The guard finally looks down and sees that I’m telling the truth. “Right. Sorry about that, sir. Just precaution during this time.” and he nods his head as a way of telling the other guards to open the gate. The castle hallways seem like a prison. I guess I don’t feel welcome here after what I did. At any moment, that royal guard is gonna call me from behind and come rushing at me. Celestia’s probably setting up a trap for me. Am I really that much of a threat to Equestria? Am I just as bad as Discord? All I want is Rarity to like me. Discord doesn’t want anypony to like him. Yeah, that makes me feel better. I’m nothing like the spirit of chaos. I’m just the only one around here that can do what it takes to get what I want. “Is that it?” I hear the mouse squeak once we get to a large pair of blood-red doors. “Yeah. Just keep your mouth shut.” I say as I move to knock on the wood, but the door swings open and smashes my snout. I stumble back and grab my nose with both claws to try and stop the throbbing pain somehow. I look up to see the idiot who rushed out of the room, and it’s the princess. “Oh, Spike. My apologies, I didn’t see you down there. Are you alright?” her motherly nature makes everything alright in a split-second. I almost forget why I was even afraid of coming to meet with her. “Celestia! Princess Celestia! Remember me!?” and then Featherweight reminds me. “Hm. Ah, of course. You were quite the photographer at my party, weren’t you?” she smiles and steps aside, “Please, come in. We were just discussing the current matters at hand.” Featherweight and I follow the princess into her throne room, but it’s not even close to what I expected. It looks like they added a huge round table in the middle of the hall. There’s a bunch of important looking ponies seated around the table. There’s probably at least twenty of them, chatting and leaning across the table to point hooves at each other. Their voices keep echoing in a big place like this, but it starts to die down a little when they see Celestia returning. That’s when I hear music coming from an old phonograph in the corner. There’s just the sound of a piano. I guess they use it to try and stay calm. “Everypony, I’m sure you all know Spike.” the princess lays a soft hoof on my shoulder and looks down at me. I give a nervous smile and wave at all of the ponies that are staring at me. They don’t say anything, and then they turn back to what they were doing before I walked in. “Those guys are mean.” Featherweight squeaks from behind us. I can feel the fire welling up in my throat and I almost turn around to unleash it all on the little pipsqueak. But then Celestia just laughs. “Don’t mind them. They’re just awfully grumpy about this mess we’re in.” she guides us to the table and sits in the biggest chair available. On her left is Princess Luna. On her right are two empty chairs, “Here, I’ve saved a spot for both of you.” I wanna ask her how she knew that Featherweight would be coming with me, but I decide to save that for later. I take my seat at the round table and so does the little photographer. Luckily, I haven’t seen him touch his camera so far. This would be the worst time to start snapping photos. “Construct new Elements!? Implausible!” I don’t recognize a lot of the ponies here. “Throw aside this constant inquiry at once!” But they’re quick to speak. “How does one...create new Elements of Harmony?” All of us look back and forth like we’re watching a tennis match. “You don’t!” “Celestia, what do you think?” The princess sighs and shifts her weight. “In my lifetime, I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of such a procedure. But why don’t we let our science division look into it? It may be possible.” The whole room erupts in confusion. “Now, now!” Princess Luna uses her loud voice to make everyone be quiet, “If my sister sees an opportunity, let’s not squander our time with petty bickering!” “Why are we trying to make new Elements!?” says a grumpy mare, “If we do that, then somepony will surely steal those as well!” “She’s right! We need to focus on identifying the traitor in our midst!” “We can all assume that the crime at hand was committed during the festivities.” “No doubt.” “Mhm.” “Yes, I suppose.” “List the names again.” “Once again, these names represent the ones that were allegedly not present for the wishing of Princess Celestia’s birthday; more specifically, nearing the end of the party in which we all sang to the princess.” The stallion catches his breath and keeps reading from a piece of paper on the table. “Queen Chrysalis and Discord, of course. Prince Blueblood, Rarity, Soarin, Spike, Spitfire, Big Macintosh, other various members of the Apple Family, Mayor Mare, Princess Cadence, Prince Shining Armor, Cheerilee, Fancy Pants...” He keeps going on and on until my eyelids start to feel heavy. I can’t fall asleep right now. It would look really bad. “This all seems very silly.” I recognize that pony. It’s Princess Cadence, “You can’t expect everypony in Equestria to be at a birthday party.” She must’ve been asked to come here from the Crystal Empire. Next to her is Shining Armor. I didn’t realize so many royal ponies were getting mixed up in this. “Well, what do you suggest the course of action should be?” says a random pony. Shining Armor stands up, “First, we should double the security on the castle grounds. This never would have happened if we had more guards on watch.” “Yes.” “Indeed.” “Very true.” Shining Armor looks to his wife and says, “You’ll need to go back and tend to things at home.” “You mean...” Cadence starts to speak softly, “...the Crystal Heart?” “I’m afraid so.” and then he looks to Princess Celestia, “Could we use the royal chariot for this occasion?” “Just a second, Prince.” a very old stallion tries to stand on all fours, “Why are you sending Mrs. Cadence away so quickly? Hmm?” “I agree.” another one chimes in, “Maybe you would like to tell us something?” “I just told you.” Shining Armor is already looking pretty pissed, “Princess Cadence needs to return home and protect the Crystal Heart. Have any of you stopped to think that this whole thing might be bigger than all of us?” The whole room shuts up after that. The only sound is the piano in the corner. “Shining Armor.” Princess Luna rises, “Do you truly believe that the culprit could be planning an attack on a large scale?” “I don’t know. I just believe that we should be ready for anything.” he looks over at Cadence and tries to force a smile. Finally, Celestia stands up too and says, “Everypony. While I appreciate all of your efforts, I think that will be all for today.” There’s another uproar of protest. All of the ponies start slinging spit while they scream and shout at the princess. A lot of the things they’re saying sound like this: “You can’t be serious!?” “You’re not taking this seriously!” “I missed my lunch to come here!” “Do you not see the treason under your nose!?” “We will surely burn for this!” I start to wonder if Featherweight should be hearing all of this. A lot of heavy words are being thrown around. Even Luna can’t silence everypony with her voice. But eventually, one of the grumpy ponies leaves the room, and even more pissy ponies follow him out the door until it’s just me, Featherweight, and all of the royal ponies. At this point, we’re all standing away from the round table and just trying to recover from the scene. “I’m sorry, sister.” Luna looks down, “I wish they had been more understanding.” “Ponies will be ponies, little sister.” Celestia just smiles and shrugs it off. “But...they could have chosen more suitable words to express their...distaste.” “Really, it’s fine.” Celestia laughs this time, “You know as well as I do that there will always be somepony who refuses to compromise.” “Are you sure you’re alright?” Princess Cadence speaks up this time. “Now, don’t worry about me. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. But your spouse was right today. You’re needed at the Crystal Empire.” Cadence smiles and looks to Shining Armor, “Yes, you’re right. He always has a plan.” The two share a moment of silence... ...but then the stallion cuts it short, “Should I leave by her side?” Princess Celestia’s expression darkens a little, “Not just yet. You were also right about the guards. I’ll need you to evaluate the castle’s state of security, especially during parties.” she says that last bit with a smirk. “Yes, ma’am.” Shining Armor says this before bowing his head. After that, all of the royal ponies leave except Celestia. “Spike, I’m sorry you had to see that. I thought we would be finished before you arrived.” “Oh, it’s cool.” I wave a claw at her, “But who were they? I’ve never seen em’ before.” She starts walking towards her throne, “Colleagues and associates. They like to believe that they have some power over Equestria. Truthfully, I like to see them tussle. Don’t you?” the princess laughs and sits at her throne. “Heh, yeah.” I don’t know what else to say. “Mr. Featherweight?” she calls down. The little guy scrambles around to stand up straight and throw his hoof to his forehead in a salute. Celestia covers her mouth with a hoof and giggles. “At ease, young sir.” she humors him with a grin and continues, “Now, Featherweight, I’m afraid I need to speak with Spike in private.” “Oh, cool!” he jumps and does a flip with the help of his tiny wings, “Is this like some kind of top secret mission?” “Hm. Yes, you might say that.” she tilts her head a little. Featherweight just floats there, gawking at the princess like he’s waiting for more info. “That means get outta here!” I say a bit louder than I mean to while I point at the doors. His head drops to the floor and he slowly flutters out of the room. I’m surprised that he remembers to shut the door behind him. Celestia breaks the silence by chuckling. “Spike, try not to be so hard on him.” I try not to roll my eyes, “Yes, ma’am.” "He really enjoys your company. You know that, do you not?" I sigh, "...yeah." The princess clears her throat and her voice becomes more stern, “So, what do you think about today’s hot topic?” I have to shrug. “I dunno. I mean, it seems really bad and all, but I don’t have any ideas or anything.” There’s an awkward silence after that. Celestia’s just smiling and watching me. I can feel my face turning red. “Spike, I never thought that you would take the Elements of Harmony.” I bite my tongue. She says it like she's impressed. She laughs again, “It’s alright. I know you must have a valid reason for such a brave act. I would like to know what inspired you.” Time stops for a second. Is this when I finally spill the beans? Can I really make this right by telling her everything? Can she help me? I don’t know for sure, but I have to try. I take in a deep breath and then I let it out quietly. I take one step towards the princess, and then I loosen my jaw. “Celestia...it’s all because of Discord-” CRASH! FLASH! I can’t see anything. I can’t hear anything. Okay, wait...I hear a ringing noise. I think maybe I heard glass shattering. I have to blink a few times. Something knocked me back. It was flying. It had wings. I heard his voice. No, wait. Scratch that. More than one voice. I can taste blood. I open my eyes. I see Featherweight standing over me. I guess I must be on my back. “Mr. Spike!” I think that’s the little guy talking... ...I can’t tell. It’s really fuzzy. “Mr. Spike, are you ok!?” I sit up and push Featherweight away so I can see what’s going on. I wish I hadn’t. She’s right over there. Her wings are broken. She’s not moving. Her eyes are open. Her mangled legs aren’t even twitching. Her chest isn’t heaving. Her crown is gone. There’s a trail of dark red that leads to the broken windows. I can feel the autumn air blowing in. And it smells nice. “Hey!!” I look to my left and see two royal guards standing at the open doors. “What did you-?” They can’t even find the words. Their eyes say everything. They say murder. They say prison. Life sentence. Death penalty. Execution.
Friends with ExpositionsIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ The TV flickers and I can see two ponies standing on their hind hooves. They have a hoof wrapped around each other and they move in unison, almost like they’re the same pony. The last time I saw them, they were selling an automatic cider-making machine thing. Everypony in Equestria knows them as the Flim Flam brothers. It looks like the two salesponies are selling something new this time. “That’s right, folks!” Flam points to me. I think he’s the one with the mustache. “You heard it here!” and that one’s Flim. He looks like he might be younger than the other one. “For just five smackaroos, you can have your very own cone of our specially treated ice cream!” “Treated with what, you might ask?” “Flim, why don’t ya tell the folks at home how we do things around here?” “Why, we take the healthiest, strongest cows in all of Equestria and put em’ to work!” “No assembly lines here, no sir! Every cow, big and small, is given one-on-one care to ensure the best milk for your satisfaction!” “That’s a hundred percent fat free satisfaction, ladies and gentlemen.” “What a product, I say, what a product!” “And who else to get the first batch than the bright-eyed ponies of Ponyville?” “Oh, but dear brother, what’s the catch?” “No catch!” “But Flim, only five coins?” “You said it yourself, brother!” “No taxes?” “No taxes!” “Say, with such a great deal, Flim, I’d say the customers are robbing us!” They both laugh. “Why, Flam, a young colt’s smile is worth more than all the bags of money in Equestria!” “Very true, dear brother!” “So, if you happen to see us rolling through town...” “Don’t be shy!” “Come on by and say hi!” “We’ll even give you a scoop on the house!” “Hey, and don’t forget that every bit of the profit goes toward our up and coming carnival-” ZAP! The TV cuts to black and everything is quiet. I try to stand up without falling over. The shackles make my ankles red and sore. I scoot up to the bars that are keeping me from running away. They’re freezing cold when I grab onto them. The two guards ignore me and keep looking in the other direction. “Hey, uhh...I’m kind of hungry.” He just sniffs and focuses on the stone wall in front of him. I don’t know what else is down here because anything that isn’t lit by the torches is just hiding in the dark. I can’t hear anypony above us, either. I thought maybe I’d be able to hear life going on around me, but it’s just really quiet. I think maybe I’m starting to hear my own thoughts. I can’t remember how long I’ve been down here. At least they have a TV. They need to fix it, though. I think the guards left yesterday. I told them I was hungry a week ago. That’s when the TV broke, too. I was watching the Flim Flam brothers. I watched them again yesterday. They finally fixed the TV. Oh, here comes the commercial again. The TV flickers and I can see two ponies standing on their hind hooves. They have a hoof wrapped around each other and they move in unison, almost like they’re the same pony. The last time I saw them, they were selling the same thing that they’re selling now. “That’s right, folks!” Flam points to me. I think he’s the one with the mustache. “You heard it here!” and that one’s Flim. He looks like he might be younger than the other one. “For just five smackaroos, you can have your very own cone of our specially treated ice cream!” “Treated with what, you might ask?” “Flim, why don’t ya tell the folks at home how we do things around here?” “Why, we take the healthiest, strongest cows in all of Equestria and gut them like pigs!” “Assembly lines keep things running smoothly! Every cow, big and small, is given the sharpest of knives to ensure the best meat for your satisfaction!” “That’s a hundred percent boneless satisfaction, ladies and gentlemen.” “What a product, I say, what a product!” “And who else to get the first batch than the bright-eyed ponies of Ponyville?” “Oh, but dear brother, what’s the catch?” “No catch!” “But Flim, only five coins?” “You said it yourself, brother!” “No taxes?” “No taxes!” “Say, with such a great deal, Flim, I’d say the customers are robbing us!” They both laugh. “Why, Flam, a young drake’s tears are worth more than all the bags of money in Equestria!” “Very true, dear brother!” “So, if you happen to see us rolling through town...” “Don’t be shy!” “Come on by and say hi!” “We’ll even give you a scoop on the house!” “Hey, and don’t forget that every bit of the profit goes toward our recently deceased Princess Celestia!” ZAP! That commercial was a little different from the last one. I think I’m losing count of how many days it’s been. They haven’t fed me yet. They probably want me to starve. Would they really want that? I didn’t know that the ponies could be so casually cruel. Maybe this is just what happens to bad ponies, and maybe nopony sees it because the bad ones are just kept down here in a dungeon cell. Everypony else just goes on with their lives. Wow...things really are this way. I always looked up to Celestia, but I was always afraid of her. I think I always knew that she had the power to be strict and...and...um...I can’t think of the word. Ruthless! Yeah, ruthless. That’s it. Oh, here comes the commercial again. The TV flickers and I can see two ponies standing on their hind hooves. They have a hoof wrapped around each other and they move in unison, almost like they’re the same pony. The last time I saw them, they were selling the same thing that they’re selling now. “That’s right, folks!” Flam points to me. I think he’s the one with the mustache. “You heard it here!” and that one’s Flim. He looks like he might be younger than the other one. “For just five smackaroos, you can have nothing at all, I say, nothing but the skin on your flank!” “Nothing at all, you might ask?” “Flim, why don’t ya tell the folks at home how we do things around here?” “Why, we take your money!” “Your hard-earned dough keeps things running smoothly! Every coin, big and small, is taken for our satisfaction!” “That’s a hundred percent shameless satisfaction, ladies and gentlemen.” “What a scam, I say, what a scam!” “And who else to get hoodwinked first than the gullible ponies of Ponyville?” “Oh, but dear brother, what’s the catch?” “No catch!” “But Flim, no product for the customer?” “You said it yourself, brother!” “No effort?” “No effort!” “Say, with such a great plan, Flim, I’d say we’re robbing the customers!” They both laugh. “Why, Flam, money flows through the veins of every pony in Equestria!” “Very true, dear brother!” “So, if you happen to see us rolling through town...” “Don’t be brash!” “Give us your cash!” “We’ll even take your life savings!” “Hey, and don’t forget that every bit of the profit goes toward our pockets!” ZAP! That commercial was a little different from the last one. “Spike?” I turn my head to see who’s talking. “Are you ok?” That voice sounds like somepony I know. “Are they feeding you?” “Ma’am, we’ve been told to feed the prisoner in five minutes.” that’s one of the guards. “How long has he been here?” she asks. “An hour.” What? That can’t be right. “Spike, can you hear me?” the purple pony pokes her head through the bars. “Ma’am, he won’t speak to anypony.” “Yes, I can hear you!” I scramble to stand up and run to where the bars are, “Twilight!” “Spike, calm down...” she laughs a little. I almost don’t notice that I’m flailing to try and hug her through the narrow spaces between us, “Don’t worry, I’m here.” “I wanna go home!!” I scream like I want somepony on the surface to hear me. “It’s okay, just try to calm down.” “B-But Celestia’s hurt!” “Spike...” “It’s my fault!” “Listen-” “No, no! It really is! I made a deal and I just wanted Rarity to like me, honest!” “Spike, Celestia’s dead...she...” “...what?” “Yes.” “No, she’s not...” “It’s okay, Spike. Everypony’s very confused right now.” “She’s the princess...” “You were with her when it happened.” “Is she allowed to die?” “Tomorrow, a lot of ponies are going to ask you some questions. Just make sure you’re honest and we can hope for the best.” “How did she die?” “I brought some books about law and the royal court.” “Court?” “Have you been working on your stage fright?” “Wait, slow down..” “A lot of ponies are going to be watching you, but try not to worry.” “Twilight, listen!” “Yes, what?” “What if I killed her?” “Well...” she stops and looks down. We’ve been talking a lot with no breaks, so we both catch our breath. She doesn’t say anything for a long time. One of the guards coughs. My ankle starts to itch under the shackle, so I reach down and scratch it. My claws dig into my skin a little. I keep scratching there because it feels like there’s dried dirt stuck to my scales. I hear Twilight sniffing, but her hair is hiding her face. I think it’s finally real to her, that Equestria lost its mother. I’ve already cried about it. Now it just feels like a dream again. If it wasn’t for the blood trickling down my ankle and the pain from my claws, I’d still think this was a nightmare. “Twilight?” “She’s dead.” “I know...but what if it’s my fault?” “You said you killed her, Spike. I don’t know why you would...ever do something like this, but maybe it’s just a misunderstanding.” “But I think it really is my fault.” “What happened?” “It’s...I don’t know...” “You don’t know?” “No, it’s just that bad stuff happens when I talk about it!” “Talk about what?” “I can’t! I tried to tell her, but now she’s not moving anymore, and I dunno if I’m supposed to talk about it because I made a promise, and I don’t want you to stop moving either, so I can’t say anything, but it’s all because I wanted Rarity to like me...and now I’m alone down here and everypony hates me, but I didn’t mean to-” “Spike, that’s enough. You're cutting yourself.” Twilight makes everything quiet again. I can hear water dripping somewhere, and it echoes around us. I would have missed it if I’d kept running my mouth. “I’m just sorry.” I almost can’t get the words out. My voice is weak now. My legs start to wobble and I sit down. I can’t look at Twilight anymore. I’ve told her as much as I can, but it’s enough for her to realize that I’m responsible for Celestia. “Spike...I think you need to rest. The guards are coming with your dinner.” “Are you leaving?” “Just try to eat, read these books, and don’t think too much. You’re not yourself.” “Do you think I did it?” “Ugh...I don’t...know what to think...” “When are you coming back?” “The trial is being held tomorrow morning. You’ll see me then.” “Don’t let them kill me.” “Um...” Twilight shifts her weight. “I mean it, okay?” “I know you do. Just...be honest.” she forces a smile, “Nopony can hurt you right now.” Great. She knows exactly how deep I am. I can’t make another deal out of this one. This is how I die, I guess. I watch Twilight leave and hope that maybe she’ll turn back around to give me one more smile. Even the gems they feed me don’t taste right. Everything is weird right now. She was talking to me like I’m crazy. “Spikey Wikeyyyy, dear Spikey Spikey Wikeyyyyy. I trust that your attitude has finally softened by now?” that calm and smooth voice can be felt on the back of my neck. I’m done with his games. I don’t waste anymore time. I whirl around and punch him in the snout. He cries out and stumbles against the wall. He looks like he’s actually surprised, “Very violent tonight, I see.” “Well, that makes two of us, you...lying snake!” He snaps his fingers and poofs into a reclining position in the air. “Now, now. I had nothing to do with that extravagant escapade upstairs, I can assure you.” “Shut up! Celestia didn’t do anything to you!” “Oh, right, because being imprisoned within a stone tomb is hardly anything.” “That doesn’t mean you had to kill her!” “I’ve already explained the situation. I am innocent tonight, thank you.” “Stop lying!” “That’s right. It’s frustrating, isn’t it?” he stops reclining and hovers near me. He narrows his eyes and clenches his talon and his paw, “To know the truth when nopony will listen. I’m sure you’re simply writhing within those scales.” I take a step back. “What do you mean? D-Don’t get too close! Guards, guards! It’s Discord! He-” “Oh, stop. They’re upstairs, having an illustrious feast with no intentions of coming back down for quite some time.” he smiles and looks up at the ceiling, “It’s a wonder that they refuse to listen to Shining Armour, isn’t it? You’d expect a pony or two to stay and keep watch, hm?” and now he looks back down to me with his arms folded. “What do you want?” That makes him laugh for some reason. “Why? Why do you always assume I’m here to eat you?” “I didn’t-” “Not literally, you silly drake.” he sighs, “I’m not your enemy in this convoluted fairy tale.” “Then why did you kill-” “I could tell you who murdered Princess Celestia, but it really is too priceless. I figured I’d let you take a stab at it, yourself.” I don’t know if I can trust him. I think he’s trying to mess me up as much as he can. But if he’s out to get me, then why hasn’t he just finished me off? “Look...Discord...” He gets all giddy and clasps his paw with his talon. “Oooooh, say my name again! It’s so adorable when you say it.” I huff and place my claws on my hips. “Just listen! I don’t trust you right now...” He laughs really loudly. “Of course not!” and he wipes a tear from his eye, “After all, why would you ever trust the spirit of chaos?” “I dunno.” I get quiet and look at the wall, “I did for a little while.” “Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” he flies over and wraps his body around me. His talon lightly scratches the bottom of my chin, and I’m scared that he’ll slit my throat if I even breathe, “I haven’t forgotten about our deal, Spike. I have to admit, you hurt my feelings when you told me to leave. I couldn’t help but remove that spell from your precious Rarity as punishment for your attitude.” Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense. She started acting differently when he left. “Exactly. But let’s be honest with one another. You’ve suffered enough, so I’ll continue with this false love affair between you two.” he starts to loosen his grip around me, “However, I haven’t told a single lie tonight. I won’t help you in uncovering the true culprit behind poor Celestia’s demise. That’s up to you.” When he finally lets me go, he lounges on a hammock that he spawns in the middle of the cell. I don’t understand why he keeps toying with me. “Because it’s fun. A little chaos is good for the soul, dear Spike. But I believe that you can fight your own battle this time. Frankly, I’d like to see you trump this third party who’s framed you. He seems to think that he's going to get away with what he's done, and I have to say that I’m not impressed. Just sloppy work on his part; very sloppy.” He keeps putting the blame on this third party, whoever that is. But I guess I don’t have a choice but to hope he’s telling the truth. “Can I just ask one thing?” I finally say out loud. “Of course, go right ahead.” “Well...why did you want me to steal the Elements? I don’t think I ever asked.” Discord clears his throat and sighs, “Oh, Spike. It was merely a safety precaution. You couldn’t trust me and I couldn’t trust you. I can’t simply make ponies fall in love with you if there’s always a chance that you’ll squeal and get me in trouble, can I?” “I dunno...” “Come, now. You’ve already tried to rat me out multiple times. But with the Elements tucked away, it won’t matter, and that’s all it is. Safety first.” he can’t let that go without winking. “Well...” “And now I can help you, and you can help...well...I suppose you’ve already helped me win my freedom.” “But the Elements are still in my closet. I can just tell everypony where they are.” “You see, that would definitely put me in my place, but you’ll find that it won’t help anypony. I’ll be sealed away, you’ll take the blame for stealing the Elements of Harmony, and you’ll be put to death. Even worse, Celestia’s murderer will run free.” “Why can’t you just hide the Elements from me? They’re pretty much yours now.” “You seem to be forgetting that dreadful spell that Celestia placed on the chest. My touch has no influence on those precious gems.” This is a lot to take in, and I guess some of it is starting to make sense. On the bright side, it was starting to take my mind off of the trial tomorrow until just now. I keep imagining getting up in front of all those ponies and trying to clear my name. Maybe I could just pin everything on Discord. “You wouldn’t!” he gasps in a fake way. He’s right. It wouldn’t do anything. If everypony finds out that I was even involved with Discord, they might think I killed Celestia. But Discord said he’s innocent too. And if he’s telling the truth, then there’s somepony who wanted Celestia dead, and maybe I was just at the wrong place. “Now you’re getting it.” he smiles and gives me an approving nod. “Am I going crazy?” I have to ask. Discord just chuckles, “Not at all.” “Because that TV played some really weird stuff...” “Ah, yes. You didn’t find that humorous?” Not really, if I have to be honest. I found it damn terrifying. Discord shrugs. “Wouldn't hurt to lighten up.” he scoots over and pats the spot next to him, “Plenty of room on the hammock, you know.” I hesitate. “Well, don’t hesitate!” he playfully raises his voice, “You’ve got a long day tomorrow and you need to rest, after all.” “I’m scared...” talking about tomorrow. “Yes, yes, it’s to be expected.” I keep standing here until I feel my throat tighten up. “Now, now. No tears. Stop that crying.” I slowly walk up to the hammock and try to avoid his eyes. After everything he’s told me tonight, I still don’t know why he’s being so nice. Before I know what I’ve just done, I find myself lying with my back to him. He’s already lain his red tail over my stomach. It’s...kind of nice. I don’t feel so stressed right now. The hammock starts rocking back and forth. Discord chooses this time to hum a quiet song. My eyelids feel heavy. I feel like I’m floating through the air with...with this spirit of chaos who...trusts me. He trusts me and nopony else does. Not even Twilight. I think he’s my only friend right now. Or maybe he’s a really clever enemy. Is this brainwashing or just friendship? “Stop thinking so loudly.”
OBJECTION!In Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ At first, I was scared about everything. When we actually got into the courtroom, I was still pretty scared. My feet felt cold and I was out of breath. Luna was the judge today and she wasn’t looking really happy to see me. When she announced my name and told everypony why we were all here, I was at my worst. Every heartbeat shook my whole body, no matter how hard I tried to keep still. When they called me to the stand, I felt like I was about to be shot and killed without a trial. I looked into the crowd and searched for friendly faces. I found Twilight. I remember how she gave me this kind of fake wave and a smile to match it. She’d lost all hope before I even walked in. But when the judge started talking about official courtroom stuff, I couldn’t help but daydream. That’s pretty much where I am right now. I’m thinking about my night in the dungeon with Discord. He was gone when I woke up. There wasn’t a hammock, either. I mean, having him next to me was pretty nice while it lasted, but I’m not a huge fan of waking up on a hard stone floor. He could’ve woken me up or something, I dunno. I’m just juggling all these thoughts in my head so I can forget about what’s really happening. Every now and then, I answer a question, but then the lawyer griffon guy looks over his glasses and keeps talking. He's kind of weird because he likes to walk on his hind legs the whole time. It’s not like you’re missing anything if I skip over this part. A lot of it just sounds like this: “And you’re sure you had no motive to harm our princess?” “Uh, yeah.” “So you did it in cold blood, yes?” “N-no.” “So you did have a motive, mhm?” “...no.” “Are you tellin’ these fine citizens that you don’t know?” “No, no! I mean...” “Suppose, if you will, that maybe it was...all a blur.” he waves his talons around like he’s talking to a baby. “But it was.” “Hush now, this here’s a hypothetical!” I don’t have a choice but to groan and slump in my seat. The courtroom isn’t what I expected. It looks more like a giant stadium where gladiators would fight or something. There’s a really shiny microphone on the stand in front of me so that everypony can hear my voice quiver. “If you have no memory of the account, then we can assume that you lashed out at the princess in a bloody rage, yes?” “No, sir...” “Shoot, boy, you expectin’ to keep avoidin’ the issue at hand, here?” “No...” The griffon scoffs and looks around for somepony to join him. Then he goes back to me and sighs. “Yep, I know you little dragons up and down, mhm. You boys ain’t nothin’ but trouble makers, yeah? I seen a bunch of you flyin’ around villages and shootin’ the place up in fire!” he illustrates the scene with his talons again. “I didn’t...” “Huh? C’mon, now, use that there mic, son!” I look down a little and remember that maybe nopony can hear me. Nopony can defend me. Nopony trusts me, probably. I can tell that I really am alone in this fight. I bet Discord’s hiding in a corner above us, eating popcorn and snickering. I tap the microphone two times and wait for the pounding echoes to die down before I lean forward. “I-I’m not like that.” and the whole place is filled with the sound of my trembling words. As soon as I say this, I can hear a lot of ponies talking around me. I can’t make out any of it. “Oh, hogwash! I done read up on that little hoarding episode of yours. It wouldn’t strike me as odd if ya wanted to hoard that crown for yerself!” “I didn’t! Honest! I don’t wanna hurt anypony!” I cry into the microphone for somepony to hear me and realize that this is all a big error. “Hmm. Yeah, you sure don’t look the type, do ya?” I think his glasses are finally starting to help those beady eyes. “But, still...we can’t let a book’s cover deceive us! Perhaps the only reason you even got close to the princess was by lookin’ all innocent, mhm?” I don’t wait very long to respond this time. I’m getting interested. “She wanted to see me. I didn’t have a choice...” “That so, huh?” “You can ask Twilight.” I point up to where I can barely see her purple form in the audience, “I didn’t even wanna go.” “Oh? And why would you ever try and avoid the princess, hm?” “Well...” I let my sentence hang there and float around the courtroom. “You had somethin’ to hide, didn’t ya? Mhm, you wanna share that with the court?” C’mon, think of something believable. “Um...lazy...” “Say what?” “I was tired. You can ask Twilight.” I point again. The griffon waves like he’s trying to shoo away the audience. “Look, we’re gonna keep this here questioning ‘tween you and me. That sound like somethin’ you can agree with it?” “Well, no...not really.” some of the ponies laugh at that. It feels like a small victory to me, but the griffon stands his ground. “I feel like you think this whole thing’s just one big skinny dip in the pond.” “Am I allowed to ask what that means?” “Yer pullin’ Equestria’s collective leg, boy!” “I’m...just telling the truth.” “Then show some pride, son! Tell it like it’s written in stone! Yer just sittin’ there, all hunched over like a dying dog!” “...sorry?” I really can’t think of anything else to tell this guy. Isn’t my lawyer supposed to yell at the griffon and help me out or something? Do I have a lawyer? I look over on the side of the room where my guy is supposed to be sitting. There’s just a little sign on the table that reads: BACK IN 10 MIN. “Yer not gonna be much help to us, are ya?” the griffon finally understands the situation, “Welp, get on down. I’m through with ya.” And so I hop out of my seat and make my way to that table with the sign on it. “He’s lying.” “Why is he acting like that?” “He should get the noose.” “He’s just a kid!” “It’s like he doesn’t care.” “Look at him.” “I bet he’s scared shitless.” “Don’t point!” “What’s he gonna do?” “I thought he was a nice dragon.” “There are no nice dragons.” Yeah, these are all things that I can hear around me. I recognize some of them and it makes my heart feel heavy. No matter what I said on that stand, I was bound to disappoint somepony. I can’t think about it too much, though. Princess Luna’s looking right at me. She’s the one that gets to choose what happens to me. “Alright, now, alright.” the griffon paces back and forth, “Before I let go of the reins on this here bighorn, I’d like to call up a very special witness.” There’s more whispering from the crowd. The griffon whirls around and bows his head to Luna. “If...that’s to yer liking, madame.” The princess arches a brow and her eyes look down at the griffon, but her head stays level and doesn’t move. “I will allow it.” Her booming voice makes me flinch and blink by accident. I don’t understand the point in being so loud. If she’s trying to scare everypony, she could’ve done that without even opening her mouth. “Good, good.” the griffon grins widely and turns to the double doors of the courtroom, “Alright, bring in that devilishly handsome bloody blue eyes!” he says this before wheezing. Everypony turns and watches the doors creak open. We all have to squint because of the blinding light that’s pouring into the room. In the center of the glowing brightness is a shadow. If I couldn’t smell his money from here, I would’ve thought it was a god; maybe somepony more mighty than Celestia ever was. But it’s just Prince Blueblood. He marches down the aisle with his nose lifted higher than even Princess Luna’s. His golden locks tell me that he’s spent all morning preparing for this moment. He flashes a smile and his reflective teeth just tell me the same thing that his hair told me. His eyes look like they contain an ocean in each one. They look at me and his brows bounce up and down. This is when I turn back to face the front and cross my arms. “Now, the good prince, here...” the Griffon guides him to the stand, “...he tells me that he’s got some juicy info regardin’ our murder mystery. That right, blue eyes?” The unicorn rises to the stand and carefully rests on the seat. “Mmm, quite.” he smirks after saying that. I think I hear somepony in the audience fainting. “Sweet, sweet, sweet.” the griffon says quickly, “Now, tell us all where you were when all this hustle and bustle took place.” Blueblood’s lazy eyes roll over to me, then they roll back to a corner in the ceiling. He shrugs. “In the throne room.” “No, he wasn’t!!” I stand up and scream so everypony can hear me. “Whatcha say?” the griffon turns to me. His wings are getting ruffled now. “I said he wasn’t there!” “Is that the truth, now?” “Yeah! He wasn’t even at the meeting right before the...the-the accident! He wasn’t there!” “Do ya have evidence?” the griffon smiles with his eyes open really wide. He already knows the answer. I look around in a really desperate way to find somepony who can help me. I end up looking at Luna and then I point. “Her!! Just ask her!! She was there!” all of the ponies in the audience are starting to boo at me, “No, really! There was this really old pony and he read a big list of names that-” “Son, that’ll be enough, now!” the griffon cuts me off and glares at me, “You done had yer chance to show off your bells and whistles. Right now, yer just stirring up the hive.” Everypony’s still booing as I sink into my chair. Prince Blueblood’s looking up at the audience members and smirking again. “Mmm, it’s precious.” “Wuzzat?” the griffon spins back to the prince. “The good citizens of Canterlot seem unanimous in their decision.” “I agree, Mr. Blue. I say, I agree.” the griffon looks over at me, “I’d say he’s fit for a little more time with the rats.” “Mmm, hardly.” the lawyer laughs at that, but I’m still watching Blueblood, “For treason, the penalty is death...unfortunately.” The griffon freezes in place. Some ponies have already gasped at this point. Some are yelling that I’m too young. Others are begging for me to die. To die... I look down at the floor. I’m feeling light-headed. I don’t know what it’s like to die. I’m not ready for it. I’m really not. “Now, uhh...Prince Blueblood, I do think that’s a bit heavy for the little guy.” the griffon might be snapping back to reality. Bad timing, though. The prince shrugs and looks off at some other part of the ceiling. “That’s a shame. He really should have considered the consequences first.” “I didn’t do it!!” I can’t help but scream again. “It’s pointless to lie, you fool.” Blueblood keeps calm and smiles, “I remember the scene quite vividly. You were rather upset about something the princess had said. You had become practically barbaric. But, of course, you wouldn’t recall that...would you?” I can’t say anything else. I really don’t remember what happened. I just want somepony to be on my side and believe me. "Mr. Spike! I got it!" I hear a faint voice coming from outside. I almost ignore it, but it sounds familiar. The courtroom doors burst open, so I turn around to see if it’s who I think it is. Featherweight’s flying down the aisle with two royal guards galloping after him. “Mr. Spike, look!” he throws a hoof in the air and I can see a photo, “I knew I took a picture! I just couldn’t find it, but-” He’s cut short when the royal guards tackle him to the ground in a dog pile. Everypony’s going nuts right now. “Enough!” Princess Luna’s voice solves the problem of the noise. “Ahem.” it sounds like she’s going to hold off on the booming words now, “I will see that photograph, please.” One of the guards scrambles to take the picture in their mouth and carry it to the judge’s bench. The princess uses her magic to levitate the picture in front of her face for a better view. “Interesting.” “What is it?” the griffon steps forward. Prince Blueblood is already stepping down and heading for the back exit. Luna clears her throat again. “The accused is hereby deemed innocent.” her eyes keep scanning the picture left and right. A lot of the audience members are screaming bad words at her, “Court is adjourned.” And the gavel hits the bench. The photo is set aside and Luna rises from her seat to make another announcement. “Now, if you wish to join me, I must bury my sister.” I almost laugh. I dunno why. I feel terrible for thinking it’s funny. Maybe it’s just the way it came out of nowhere, but I really think I’m just really relieved. I look over at Featherweight. He’s trying to pick himself up from the fall. I can’t control myself. I leap over my little table and run past a bunch of random ponies until I’m close enough to tackle Featherweight in a really tight hug. The little guy just can’t even breathe without being knocked down. I have to laugh. It’s the first time in a while that I’ve actually felt like everything’s okay. ____________________________________________________ At the funeral, I’m still feeling giddy. Again, don’t hold it against me. I’m just super excited about not dying. I think this to myself as I watch Celestia’s casket being lowered into the ground. That could’ve been me. It’s not even bad weather outside. It’s about lunchtime and everything’s kind of warm with a cool breeze. I look next to me at Featherweight. He’s not crying, either. I don’t think he understands what’s happening, though. Maybe it’ll hit him in a few months. Until then, I’m just gonna keep smiling. When we’re both walking away from the grave, Featherweight asks me if I wanna see the picture. I don’t even have to answer. I just snatch it from him and look all over it. I see myself being knocked back. I’m like...half-way off the ground in this picture. The window’s in the process of being broken, which means...yeah, something’s flying through the window. It’s small. It has wings, but it’s just a blur. Oh, wait. There’s another blur with wings. It actually looks kind of blue. A blue streak with wings. It’s headed right for Celestia, who’s still smiling down at me. Somehow, I don’t think she saw it coming. Well, it proves that I was just in the middle of everything. “Is it good?” Featherweight pipes up. I chuckle and pat him on the head. “Yeah, you did really good. Thanks a lot. I mean that.” His face scrunches up a little. “Hey, I’m not giving it to you!” and he hovers quick enough to swipe the photo from my claws. “No, I just meant...” I cut myself off and sigh. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have any worries right now. I can smile and not feel guilty about it. Yeah. That would be nice, wouldn’t it? But this is the moment when something drops in front of us. It hits the ground with a dull thud and we both jump back. “Mr. Spike, what is that?” I edge closer and look into the hole that it made in the grass. When the cloud of dirt starts to fade away, I can make out something golden and shiny. “Is that the crown, Mr. Spike?” Yeah, it’s Celestia’s one and only crown. My first instinct is to just keep walking. I need to ignore it. If anypony sees me with Celestia’s crown, it’s back to the dungeon. C’mon, Spike...leave it alone... Ugh. I look up at the blue sky and the clouds that are crawling by. And then I focus back on this crown at my feet. I shake my head. It all just feels like a really bad joke.
Seeing Through the CracksIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ For a long time, everything calmed down. Everypony got off my case and I found it a lot easier to forget about all the stuff with Discord, the Elements, and Celestia. I figured that maybe I’d start focusing on Rarity again. I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie. It didn’t even take her half a second to squeal and give me a spinning hug. And that’s where I am right now. I’m watching this movie and she’s sitting really close to me. My heart’s beating too fast, so I try to concentrate on the big screen. At this point, it’s almost over. The main guy is really old and he lives in a nice mansion with a butler and everything. It gets a little weird because he has no friends or family with him. I don’t think he minds it, though. He looks a little crazy, anyway. Rarity keeps scooting closer to me. I don’t even think she’s watching the movie anymore. I’m afraid she’ll be staring at me if I try to get a quick look. I have to stop and wonder if everypony gets this way around the pony they love. It’s still bright outside after the movie. I ask Rarity what she wants to do next and she says it doesn’t matter as long as we’re doing it together. That makes me feel really warm inside. But it wasn’t really an answer, so we both just walk around town square for a little bit. I really don’t wanna ruin this again like last time, but I have some questions that I have to ask. It can’t be any worse than setting her hair on fire. I swallow hard and decide to let it wait for some other time. All that stuff is in the past now. I shouldn’t worry about what she thinks of me, right? “Spike, darling, have I ever told you how ravishing you are?” Rarity helps me snap out of my trance. I feel my cheeks warming up and turning red. “Really? Heh, you think so?” “We simply must go out more often. Don’t you agree?” “Uh...well, yeah! We should!” I feel a little bounce in my step. “Oh, Spike, could we sit down and have dinner over there?” I look to where she’s pointing. It takes me a minute to even hear what she said. It’s like she can’t focus on just one thing right now. “It looks really fancy.” I’m talking about the really expensive restaurant that got her attention. “But that’s the point, Spikey Wikey! I think we deserve a little treat tonight, don’t you?” “Do they have gems?” “Of course they have gems, dear! Only the finest quality in all of Equestria!” I have trouble believing that, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to find out. They seat us in a booth with candles between us. The whole place is kind of dark. Rarity says something about atmosphere and fancy stuff. After we order our food, she asks me what I love most about her. “Um...well, you’re really pretty...” I can’t look her in the eyes. I’m losing my breath. Why would she ask a weird question like that? “Oh, Spike, is that all?” I don’t know what the right answer is. Can I just disappear? Is that an option? “No, no! That’s not the only thing!” I fake a laugh and it gets her laughing too. Good. She’s not pissed. But I still can’t come up with anything else. “Ahem. Your dinner’s arrived.” That’s our waiter, just in time to distract us from that awkward question. I look down at my bowl of rubies. It’s kinda sad, but I can easily think of more reasons why I love the taste of gems. I didn’t always feel this way. I really did love Rarity. Well, maybe I loved who she used to be. Now she’s just a mindless puppet that’s obsessed with me. I don’t want that. “Really, Spike, you must stop being so handsome! I just might faint!” I give a half smile and sigh. This is just depressing. It’s been going on for weeks now. Ever since I was proven innocent in court, I’ve been trying to take my mind off the murder. I’ve been ignoring the spell that Discord has on Rarity. I tossed that crown in my closet, right next to the Elements of Harmony. I have to see if I’m wrong about all this. I’ll just test the waters a little. Twilight would want me to look at all the possibilities. “So, uhh...anyway...” I clear my throat, “How’s your salad?” She looks down at her food like she didn’t even know it was there until now. “Oh!!” she laughs and nods, “It’s certainly refreshing!” I think she’s done talking about her food until she looks at me from the side and leans forward with her eyes half-closed. “Not nearly as you, though.” I’m refreshing? “Heh...right.” I think about digging into my rubies as a distraction from this freak show, but I’m trying to change my approach to everything. I have to hit this head-on while I still can. I sigh and try my best to look at her without losing focus. “Are you okay?” She laughs, of course. “Well, what kind of a question is that? We’re having dinner together, are we not?” “Yeah, but...you’re being weird.” I don’t even try to put it lightly. “Oh, stop it!” she waves at me and looks away, “You’re the weird one!” She’s acting like this is some kind of compliment. “No, like...you’re not the same.” She looks above my head and smiles. I think she’s reminiscing or something. “You’re right, Spikey Wikey.” “Wait...really?” “I never put it to thought until now, really, but you’re absolutely right.” she finally looks back to me and shrugs, “I know I dismissed your advances in the past, and I really am sorry for that. Something just sparked within me, I suppose. I don’t know why I never gave you a chance.” Ugh, she’s doing that thing again. I can’t tell if it’s the real Rarity talking or not. She did this same thing at her house, back when we were about to look for the Elements with the girls. Back then, I fell for it. But now, I know it’s just Discord pulling strings. She keeps looking over my head before she talks. I feel like she’s reading from cue cards. This feels like a stage. It’s all too much to just hide behind the curtains. I finally have Rarity all for myself and it feels so wrong. “Spike...?” “I need to go.” ________________________________________________ I step into the library and I can hear ponies talking. It sounds like Twilight and Featherweight. “No. No more snacks. It’s time for bed.” “Awww, but I’m not even tired!” This happens all the time. Featherweight forgets that we’re his family now and feels like he knows everything. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m not having this talk with you every night-” “SPIKE’S HOME!!!” Featherweight flies past Twilight and starts hovering behind me as I head for the stairs. “Oh...hey, Spike.” Twilight tries to muster up a smile. I can tell she’s tired. “Hey.” I drag my feet and walk upstairs. I remember when I first brought Featherweight home from Canterlot. It was after the crown fell from the sky. He followed me all the way to the library. I asked him if he had a place to stay and he said he didn’t. Nopony really talked about it after that. I guess we just assumed he didn’t have a family. Either way, Twilight said she would help in any way she could. “Spike, wait up!!” That’s Featherweight. I think Twilight just waits for me to get home so that he’ll finally go to bed. He won’t do it unless I do it first. It’s like I’m his big brother. Everything I do is cool or something. “Spike, where’d ya go!? You were gone all day and Twilight wouldn’t tell me and-” “Had a date with Rarity.” I open the door to our room and stagger inside. “Oooooohhh, a date?” “Yeah.” I fall on my bed. “Did you guys...” He stops. “You know...didja kiss?” “No.” “Good! That’s how you get sick!” “Oh.” “Wanna know how I know?” “Sure, Featherweight.” “I just do!” “You’re a genius.” I roll over and slide an arm under my pillow. He doesn’t understand what I just went through. It was like I could see her trapped inside somepony dressed as Rarity. What if the spell is actually really scary on her side? Like, what if she’s trying to fight and break free? “It sounds as though our little drake is finally seeing through the cracks.” That’s Discord. “AHHHH! IT’S THE BOGEYPONY!” That’s Featherweight. “GET AWAY!” Wait...Discord’s showing up now? In front of another pony? I spring up and look over to where I heard Featherweight screaming. It looks like Discord really is here, and he’s got himself wrapped around the little pony so that he can’t scream anymore. Just in time, too, because I can hear Twilight’s hoofsteps coming up the stairs. They get louder until she stops just outside our door. Luckily, we’re all pretty hidden in the dark because the lights are off. I don’t think she’s planning on coming inside, though. She’s probably just listening to check on us. I use this moment of silence to glance at the other two in the room. Featherweight’s thrashing all over the place and Discord’s managing to keep him held in place. That’s when the hoofsteps start up again, but they get farther away and fainter. The coast is clear, I guess. I hop out of my bed and scurry over to the power struggle. Discord chuckles when he sees the look on my face. “He’s lucky that I detest the taste of spoiled brats.” Featherweight keeps trying to scream, but the only thing that comes out is a bunch of muffled sounds. After what Discord just said, he does kind of look like a snake’s prey. “It’s okay.” I whisper and hold up my claws, “It’s just Discord.” “MMPH?!” I guess that doesn’t help the situation. The spirit of chaos doesn’t exactly have the best reputation. “I know, I know. Just...relax.” He finally stops wriggling and his eyes dart back and forth for something to happen. Discord coughs into his talon. “Make sure he knows not to flap that mouth when I release him.” I take a step forward, I grab onto Discord’s long tail that’s keeping the little guy quiet, and then I bring my head close to Featherweight so that we can see eye-to-eye. “Look, you heard him. Just be quiet for a second. He’s a friend of ours. Now, we’re gonna let you go...but don’t scream. Got it?” I wait for a response before I give Discord the OK. Featherweight just nods slowly, so I do the same to Discord, and then he slithers away from both of us. The little pony plops onto the floor and gasps like he’s been underwater for too long. I kind of expect him to just yell his head off anyway, but he’s actually following through. He still looks scared, though. I decide to sit next to him and lay an arm around him. “See? Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” Featherweight tries to stop shivering while he turns to Discord. The draconequus is lounging on my bed. “Why's he here?” Featherweight’s little voice finally pipes up. I have to groan. “It’s a really long story. He’s just...uh...” Discord holds his lion paw in front of him and admires his claws. He decides that this is the right time to chime in. “Simply providing tips for obtaining true love...” he says that last part like it’s something you tell your kids before they go to sleep. “Huh?” Featherweight’s still too young to follow along. To him, love is just a sloppy wet one that gives you cooties. So I try to explain it in words he'll understand. “He wants to help me kiss Rarity.” “What!? EWWWwwwww!!” he scrambles away and dives for a corner of the room, “Why d’you wanna do that?” I sit and think about that. It doesn’t take long. It’s really simple. “I love her.” “So?” Featherweight snaps back, “Just be friends!” I laugh a little. I wish it could be that easy. “Yeah, I guess that’d make everything easier.” “How?” “That’s why I stole the Elements. Discord wanted them so he could help me.” “That just makes him a bad guy! Don’t listen to him!” “He’s been reformed, though.” I look back at Discord and shrug. He just winks. “Well...” Featherweight lowers his voice, “...he’s still scary.” Discord tugs at his beard. “Not nearly as scary as what’s going through Spikey Wikey’s head right now.” And now I know why he’s here, so I grunt and wave in all directions. “Yeah, yeah. I’m not happy. I don’t like seeing Rarity hypnotized, blah, blah.” That causes him to giggle. “You really have mastered the art of downplaying serious matters.” I stand up and point at his ugly face. “Yeah, and you’re the master of calling me names that I hate!” I think I just aged backwards for a minute there. “I thought you liked it.” his smile tells me that he knows the answer. “When Rarity says it.” I fold my arms. “Does Twilight know he’s here?” Featherweight feels brave enough to approach us now. “No, and you can’t tell her.” I kneel down to his level so I can get this drilled into his dumb little brain, “This is a big secret, okay? Nopony knows but you and me.” “But...” he stops to think about his words, “...are we bad guys too?” “No.” I stand up and look at Discord. He’s been surprisingly quiet tonight, “We just can’t let anypony know. They might think we are the bad guys.” “It’s quite alright, little photographer.” Discord’s hovering around us now ,”I simply popped in to clear up this fabrication that Spikey Wikey has created for himself. He should be happy to know that he hasn't quite lost his marbles yet.” Featherweight looks confused, but I know what he’s talking about. Ever since Discord first came to me after Rarity’s black hair accident, I’ve been thinking that I’m insane. Until tonight, I thought that maybe I was just imagining Discord. Now I have proof that he’s real. “Yes, indeed. Mr. Spike, here, has been losing sleep. I must say that his tears made me rather uncomfortable. I could only bear witness for so long.” “You were crying...?” Featherweight’s asking about all the times I would roll around in bed and sniff all night, “You said it was just a runny nose.” Discord tries to contain his laughter. “I suppose that runny nose lasted for weeks, and I suppose you thought nothing of it.” “But...” the little pony doesn’t know what else to say. I’m sure he feels like he’s out of his element. Everything is always too much to take in when Discord’s around. Featherweight waddles up to me and gives me a weak hug. “You’re not crazy, Mr. Spike.” he says this with his face buried in my scales. I appreciate it, but I don’t feel really good. My belly’s starting to ache and I feel fire erupting in my throat. It’s just like that night with Rarity again. “Get back!” I push Featherweight aside and turn around so I’m not facing anypony. I step over to a wall and lay a claw on it for support. Okay, it’s getting worse. I thinking I’m gonna throw up. “Oh, it’s finally happening.” Discord floats behind me, “This is also why I came. I couldn’t possibly miss out on this reaction.” Before I can even think about what he’s talking about, I let out a fiery, green belch. A scroll animates itself into the air and then drops to the floor. I clasp my mouth with both claws and just stare at the scroll. I’m sure my eyes have never been wider. Discord’s snickering. My claws are starting to tremble. They feel tingly and numb. This doesn’t make any sense. She’s supposed to be dead. She can’t just send me letters after I saw them bury her. It’s not right. I just want Rarity to like me. No spells or deals with Discord. I don’t want to get involved with murder and ghosts. “Read it!” Featherweight chirps. I don’t think he sees the whole picture. He’s just excited to see letters poof from thin air. “Yes, Spike. Read it. The suspense is killing us.” Discord needs to get the last word as I bend down and pick up the scroll. I untie the gold ribbon and unroll the letter. It’s not a very long message. It’s even worse. It’s short and not at all sweet. RETURN MY CROWN AT ONCE. - PRINCESS CELESTIA “What’s it say?” Featherweight is still just as chipper. I can’t feel my toes.
Bitten by the HypnobugIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ We’re having a picnic right now. I thought we should have it in Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack didn’t mind it. There’s so many leaves that seem determined to float into our food, though. I got to wear my favorite scarf today because the wind is really cold. We have some garnet cake over here, and a little bit of amethyst pie over there. Rarity didn’t want anything to eat. I asked her a hundred times, but she insisted to go hungry. Her excuse was, “Spike, darling, looking into those divine eyes is more than enough to satisfy me.” I tried to ignore the spell that obviously forced those words out of her. I really tried to block it out. I wanted to just smile and look in her eyes to return the favor, but that’s when I noticed that her natural eye color had turned dark and blood red. I knew she was hypnotized and stuff, but I also knew that something wasn’t right about what I saw. “Ever try jewels before?” I ask before chomping into my cake. This is where we are now, asking each other what we eat. You couldn’t write a better love story. “Oh, heavens no! I’d much rather watch you devour them.” she bats her eyes. I roll mine. I tried writing a love story once. It ended up being boring. There was always two ponies talking in every scene; never more than two. “Please, just...stop right there.” I’m not in the mood to hear fake love words. When I was writing that story, I felt like I had to challenge myself, so I tried adding a third pony in one of the scenes. It was weird. You kinda lose track of who’s talking. “Why, Spike, what ever is the matter?” “Doesn’t matter if I tell you.” “Well, why is that?” she sounds like she might actually be concerned, but she has this drunken smile the whole time. I know that my words are just going through one ear and out the other. “Because you’ll just deny it.” “Deny what?” “That you’re hypnotized.” She laughs at me. “Oh, Spikey Wikey, you simply must stop going on about this story of yours! It really is precious.” “Precious?” I scrunch up my face. It’s not exactly a word that I’d use to describe being under a spell. “Of course! How could anything about you not be precious?” “Just stop talking for a second.” “Spike, what are you-” “Can you just do that for me? I wanna have a good time today, that’s all.” “But any time with you is a good time, Spikey Wikey.” “That’s it. Next time I see Discord, I’m calling this whole thing off.” “Discord? What does that vile creature have to do with us?” “Everything.” I sigh. “Wait, I have the perfect idea!” Rarity hops on all fours. “You do?” I stare at her and drop my cake. For a second, it feels like this is actually Rarity talking. “Oh, do I ever.” she slowly approaches me and leans in really close, “We should get married.” My heart sinks down to my feet and I fall onto my back. “Married?!” I crawl backwards so that I can put as much space between us as possible. “Don’t play coy with me, Spike. I know you’ve been thinking it.” “N-No! I haven’t! I’m not ready! I’m just a dragon!” “Stop scrambling on the ground, silly.” “No, you stop!” I point a claw at her, “You’ve been acting weird for months! A-And I’m sick of it!” “I know how you feel, Spikey Wikey! I’m lovesick too!” “No, you’re not! You’re not my Rarity!” I rise to my feet and keep backing away, “But I know she’s still in there.” Her eyes suddenly turn a fiery red. She starts gritting her teeth and digging her front hooves into the dirt. “Spike...I told you to stop being so silly. We’re going to get married.” “I’m not gonna-” “NOW!” She screams so loud that I know it’s time to turn around and sprint away. I don’t even look back. I can hear her pounding the ground behind me. She’s probably shaking the whole town, which is right where I’m headed. I think that maybe I can solve all of this if I’m just honest with everypony. Like, maybe it’s time to come clean. “SPIKE, DON’T ABANDON ME ON OUR WEDDING DAY!” Up ahead is town square. I run around the fountain and keep heading straight. Behind me, I can hear ponies screaming for their lives. There’s a loud crash, almost like an explosion, and then there’s the sound of rushing water. I’m pretty sure that Rarity just bulldozed her way through the fountain. “Spike...?” That’s Twilight up ahead. She’s standing outside the library. The sound of the fountain blowing up probably got her attention. “Go inside!!” I yell at her. “What? What’s going on?” “Just go inside! Leave the door open!” “Is that Rarity?” she asks after she backs away into the library. “I’m coming in! Move!” When I get close enough, I dive through the doorway and hit the floor hard. I can’t waste any time, though. I hop up to my feet and point at the door. “Close it!!” And then, Twilight shuts the door a little more patiently than I probably would have. It doesn’t stop Rarity, though. Storming through the fountain prepared her for this moment. She flattens the door down like it’s made of paper. “Please, please, please, stop!!” I look away and shield my face, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hypnotize you! It’s Discord’s fault, I mean it! I just...I..uh...” I take a peek when I realize that I’m not being trampled. Instead, it looks like Twilight zapped her with a spell that’s making her float in the air. She looks frozen. Her angry face and her red eyes are still in place. “Aw, cool!!” Featherweight jumps down from the stairs, “What happened?! I wanna fly too, Twilight! Make me fly!” I think he forgot about his wings again. That’s when Twilight slowly turns to me and gives me a really harsh glare. “Start talking.” ____________________________________________ “Did you have to tell her everything?” “I was tired of keeping all those secrets. I feel a lot better now, actually.” Discord groans and folds his arms. We’re both on the balcony of the library. The sun’s setting over the hills and it’s starting to get dark really fast. Twilight’s downstairs with the girls and Featherweight. She’s trying to fill everypony in on what’s been happening. She said she can’t trust me anymore. “You’re all the same. Perhaps you do belong with these ponies.” “Well...maybe I do. I just know that I don’t belong with you.” “Oh, I’m hurt.” he fakes a sad face and wipes an imaginary tear from his eye, “Just when I was starting to feel a connection.” “Don’t start.” I wave a claw at him, “I’m not even supposed to be talking to you. Twilight knows about you and our deal.” “Yes, yes. I saw how she extracted the skeletons from your closet.” “Huh?” “Figure of speech, Spikey Wikey.” he hovers over me and scratches my head with his talon, “I mean that she confiscated the Elements and the crown.” “Oh...well, yeah. She did.” “What a load off your shoulders.” he seems really annoyed. “Mhm.” I’m afraid of talking to him for too long. I’ll probably get myself stuck in another deal or something. “I suppose you also told the smarty pants about the letter from Celestia’s ghost?” “Yeah, she said that Celestia had a spell book in her room. There’s a spell inside of it that lets ponies deliver letters through messenger drakes.” “Please, go on. It’s absolutely riveting.” “Well, the point is...somepony must’ve stolen that book, and now they’re just trying to scare me with that spell.” “I think I may fall asleep soon.” Discord stretches and yawns. “And speaking of spells, I want you to set Rarity free!” “Pipe down.” he chooses this moment to recline on the balcony’s railing, “That’s already taken care of.” “You promise?” I don’t plan on going back inside until I hear him confirm this. “Go see for yourself.” I have to shake my head. I guess that’s as sure as it gets with Discord. I walk up to the railing and stand next to him for a minute. Both of us just kind of stare out into the darkness. I can see the moon creeping up behind the clouds. A few birds are still awake and chirping. “You know...” Discord adopts a different tone. It feels more sincere and quiet, “...I wouldn’t mind having one last cuddle tonight.” I don’t even have to think about what to say. “No.” And then it’s silent. I wait for Discord to say something sassy that’ll make me cringe, but he doesn’t say anything. I look over to see what he’s doing, but he’s just gone. I start to feel a little bad. I mean, I guess he was really just trying to help. Chaos is what he’s good at. He probably didn’t mean for things to turn ugly like this. I’m such an idiot. If there’s any moral to this story, it’s that I’m a stupid drake that pushes everypony away. Whatever. I guess I’m back where I started. All the girls are downstairs without me. But this time, I’m not just gonna hide from them and cry about it. I whirl around, I step inside the library, and I head down the stairs. I can hear the ponies talking. “That’s right. Spike is being framed for Celestia’s murder.” That’s Twilight. “And ya think Luna’s gonna be next?” And that’s Applejack. “Precisely, which is why we need to act quickly. Spike should follow the instructions and return the crown tomorrow.” Pinkie Pie gasps. “But that’s what the meanie-weenie no-good pony killer-er wants!” she feels like she needs to wave her hooves in the air to make her point. I can see Rarity next to her. She doesn’t look so crazy anymore. “That’s why we need to do this.” Twilight says, “We can finally reveal the culprit if we go along with this. Girls, you’ll surround the castle and wait for the signal. Spike and I will go in-” “I wanna go too!!” Featherweight rushes in. “Good thinking.” Twilight nods, “We can use your camera for any evidence. We’ll go in the castle and make sure Spike reaches the throne room safely. After that, he’ll take the crown and talk to Luna on his own. This third party will most likely strike in an attempt to frame Spike again.” “And then we jump in and knock them around till’ they’re crying for their mommies!” Rainbow punches the air with her hooves. Twilight just smiles. “Yes. Just make sure they don’t escape. We need them so we can finally put this behind us.” “Now, try not to waste a whole lotta time.” Applejack steps in, “We don’t wanna go and lose another princess.” “Right.” Twilight’s finally wrapping things up, “You should all get a good night’s sleep tonight. Tomorrow will be a long day.” “Um...um...excuse me?” Fluttershy raises her hoof, “Could we sleep here for one night?” Twilight doesn’t need to ask why. It’s obvious that she doesn’t feel safe. After all, there’s a killer among us. The other ponies agree with Fluttershy’s idea and they each grab a pillow and a blanket for sleeping on the floor. I use this time to head over to Rarity. She’s fluffing her pillow and making sure her sleeping space is tidy and perfect. “Hey, Rarity.” I tap her shoulder. She jumps a little and then spins around to face me. “Oh! Hello, Spike. Are you alright?” I shrug. “I guess so.” “You poor thing. You’re simply too young for all this nonsense.” “I can handle it.” I fold my claws and think about what I’m gonna say next, “So, uhh...I wanted to ask you something.” She carefully positions herself onto her blanket like she’s royalty, and then she brushes herself off before she finally makes time for me again. “Well, do go on.” she says that and I feel something that I’ve been missing for a very long time. I’m through the roof. My heart’s racing and it’s beating just for her. My legs are shaking. I forget about everything I said about anything. I’m in love with this mare, and anypony in the room can see that. “Uhh, well...you know I like you a lot and it’s just that I...well, I really missed you.” I stop and bite my lip. I can feel tears forming, so I rub at my eyes a bunch of times. I can almost hear Discord telling me to stop crying. “Awww, Spikey Wikey.” she reaches forward and wraps me in a firm hug, “I can’t tell you how...relieved I am to be back. I’m never taking you for granted again. But Spike...?” “Hm?” I ask with my face nuzzling her neck. “Please...no more spells.” I feel like staying right here for the whole night, just hugging until we both fall asleep. But I can’t let things escalate too quickly. I’ve seen what happens when you try too hard to make something happen. Instead, I decide to test the waters and just see if this is really my Rarity. “You wanna get married?” I almost crack up because of the timing. We’re both having this really emotional moment and then I just drop that bomb. “Do I want to...wait...say that again...” she says it like it’s a question. “Uhh...” I break the hug and take a few steps away from her, “...actually, never mind.” I double back and rush to the stairs as fast as my little legs can go. “Spike, did you say married!? At a time like this!? You have the nerve to-” I can hear her underneath me when I get upstairs. I slam the door behind me and let out a tired breath. That’s when I close my eyes and smile. I’ve never been happier to have somepony yell at me from the top of their lungs. I walk deeper into the room and step up to the balcony’s glass door. I lean on its cold surface and stare at the moon. It’s really bright tonight. The sound of the door creaking open makes me turn my head. It’s just Featherweight, so I turn back to the moon and the dark blue sky. Some of the stars are starting to show up. “Hey...is Discord coming back?” One by one, all of the lights in the houses of Ponyville start to die off. I can’t decide if I feel good about Discord leaving. He just seemed so upset. Like, I wish I could have at least hugged him or something. The spirit of disharmony doesn’t get very many hugs, I imagine. Who does Discord run home to?
EnjoyIn Spike We Trust Cornflak ________________________________________________ The last time I was at this castle, a princess was beaten until she couldn’t rule her kingdom anymore. Today, history is going to try and repeat itself. With Featherweight and Twilight on either side, I walk up the long flight of stairs one more time. They’re really bright from the sun reflecting off of them. I feel like I can get a tan just by standing on these steps a little longer, but I try to focus on the mission as we come up to the royal guards. Their faces are frozen and looking ahead like they’ve been that way for centuries. The giant double doors are just behind them, but we’ll never get to go in if these stallions don’t want us to. One guard moves his eyes down to rest on me, and then his eyelids narrow. “We’re not accepting visitors at this time.” “It’s me...Spike.” I scratch the back of my head. Maybe he’ll let us in when he remembers who I am. I mean, I’m not sure if this is the same guard I spoke to last time, because they all look the same to me. It’s worth a shot, though. “Are you a visitor?” I shrug. “Well...yeah, I guess.” “Then we’re not allowing you to enter.” “But we need to get in!” “I’m not authorized to feel pity.” “Are you authorized to lighten up a little?” I cross my arms and look away. I catch a glimpse of some of the other girls sneaking ahead to climb through the castle’s windows and stuff. The only reason the three of us are trying to go through the front door is so that the killer notices us. Twilight said that our number one goal is to just get them to come out of hiding. Speaking of Twilight, she chooses this time to step up and cough into her hoof. “Excuse me, sir. I know it must be a demanding job to guard the royal castle all day, so I’ll forgive you.” The guard’s eyes open wide. “You see, my name is Twilight Sparkle. You probably didn’t recognize me.” “Twilight...?” he tilts his head and squints like he’s thinking hard, “...are you...a visitor?” She giggles. “You must have been asleep during your rookie days, huh?” The guard smirks. “Good one. Hey...I got a joke, too. But just for you, I’ll skip the set-up and get right to the punchline.” The guard throws a punch at Twilight, but she’s quick to use her magic and warp just out of reach. “Hey!! You can’t do that to Twilight!” Featherweight flies in and hovers around the guard’s head. I think he’s trying to distract him or something. The outburst gets the attention of a few other guards. “Hey, now!” “Woah, woah, woah!” “Dude, calm down!” “That’s Twilight Sparkle!” “You tryin’ to piss off Shining Armor?” “Shining...Armor...?” the angry guard huffs and takes a minute to catch his breath. “Yeah, man. That’s his little sis right there.” “His...sister? OH!” the guard finally straightens up and offers a salute with his hoof, “My apologies, ma’am. You and your friends may pass.” “Thank you. I won’t mention this to my big brother.” Twilight holds her head high and steps through the guards. Featherweight and I don’t waste any time and catch up with her. When we get to the large doors, they start to open on their own. Twilight says something about how the guards have full control of the front entrance these days. She doesn’t sound like she’s a fan. After what I just saw, I can’t say I like the idea, either. “Alright. The girls should be inside by now.” Twilight starts whispering when we step into the castle, “That stallion did us a favor and bought them some time.” “You brought the crown, right?” I have to make sure. I don’t want this all to be for nothing. “Of course. We’re lucky that they forgot to search us.” she’s been hiding the crown inside the messenger bag that’s resting on her back. After we collect ourselves from the scene with the guards, the three of us start heading deeper into the castle halls. “Remember when we were here last time, Spike?” Featherweight’s little voice bounces off the high walls. “Yeah. I don’t wanna think about that right now.” “Why? I got to take a really cool picture!” “Well, you’re lucky you weren’t in that really cool picture.” “Aw, you didn’t look bad, Mr. Spike. I wish you were in all my pictures.” “No, thanks. The only time that camera flashes is when somepony’s getting hurt.” “Nuh uh! What about this one?” While we’re walking, Featherweight whips out a picture and offers it to me. When I grab it and get a closer look, I can see that it’s Princess Celestia. She’s surrounded by everypony who came to her birthday party. This picture is probably the only thing we have left to remind us that she was happy. “She looked right at the camera, too!” Featherweight tries not to let his voice get too loud, but he always seems passionate about his pictures, “I did what you told me, Spike! I flew really, really high and she looked right at me!” “Yeah, I remember.” I smile a little bit and give the photo back to the little photographer. That party was the first time we met. We were both chasing after something that we wanted. Featherweight got his picture, but all I got was a fine mess. “Hey, whose room is that?” Featherweight stops and points to a golden door that’s cracked open. I think the reflective door interests him a lot more than the owner of the room. “Oh, that’s Prince Blueblood.” Twilight sounds bored, “C’mon, we’re almost to the throne room.” The other two keep going ahead, but I’m still standing here. Maybe it’s because I’m admiring the shiny reflection on the door. Maybe it’s because I remember how badly that prince wanted me to get the death penalty. Yeah, it’s definitely not the door. It’s definitely the revenge that I’d like to have right about now. “Spike, get back here!” Twilight hisses at me. I didn’t even realize that I walked into his room, but here I am. It looks like Blueblood’s not here, though. There’s a fire burning in the fireplace and the lamps are still on, so he’s probably coming back soon. At this point, the other two have already stepped in with me. “Woahhhh!!!” Featherweight leaps off the carpet and buzzes around the room, “Everything’s so fancyyyyy!” “Featherweight, stop that right now!” Twilight trots after him and swings her hooves in the air to try and get him down. I guess I could try and help her, but I have my eye on something else in the room. In the corner, there’s a bunch of papers scattered all over Blueblood’s desk. I feel like I’m in a trance and my legs start carrying me to that side of the room. As I get closer, the pages start to look familiar. “Uhh...guys?” I hear myself say when I can start to make out what some of the pages are. It’s what we’ve been looking for this whole time, but we just stumbled on it by accident. They’re messages. Some of them are directed to Prince Blueblood. Others are written out to me. RETURN MY CROWN AT ONCE. - PRINCESS CELESTIA Yeah, that’s one of them. Of course, Princess Celestia didn’t write this. There’s a whole stack of them on this desk, ready to be sent out. “You’re kidding...” Twilight’s already digging through some of the letters, “What does Blueblood have to gain from this?” I can’t answer her right now, because I’m reading more pages to try and find out, myself. Prince Blueblood, We’re pleased to see that things have been chugging along just as we like it. That stubborn hag was buried nice and proper, indeed. Hell, I’d say that little lizard gave us a bonus just by being at the scene of the crime! Poor guy was just what we needed to get the heat off our flanks. Sad to say, though, our two hired guns have gone and dropped that delightfully golden crown from the skies. I do believe those cretins forgot about the dangers of living in a floating city. We will get back to you in a jiffy. - Your Friends Okay, that explains a lot that’s been going on. I just wish I knew who these so-called friends are. The answer has to be somewhere in this mess. “Why doesn’t he clean up his room?” Featherweight’s remembering the rules that Twilight’s drilled into his skull while he’s been living with us. I kind of agree with him. I didn’t think Blueblood would be so dumb and leave all of this evidence out in the open. “He’s just always been that way.” Twilight sighs and searches through some more papers, “Shining Armor never liked him that much, anyway. Take some pictures, Featherweight.” “Yes, ma’am!” I try to ignore the flashes from the camera and read some more words from the prince’s pals. Prince Blueblood, We have set our sights on the prize. Yes, indeed. Recall that little lizard who put on a show in court? Seems like he fashioned himself a plot to take the crown for his own! Our guys followed him to the local library. We’re thinking this is the perfect opportunity for you to put forth some effort. We love effort and we see potential in the likes of you. Get creative and scare the little lizard into bringing that crown straight to your doorstep. We agree that you should brush up on your roleplay. - Your Friends There’s a lot of talk about the crown. I don’t know why it’s so important to them. Reading about myself like this is really weird, too. I don’t appreciate being called a lizard, and I don’t appreciate being followed around. “Spike, look!” Twilight gets my attention when I hear her scrambling for a black book on the desk, “It’s the spellbook; the one that belonged to Celestia!” she shoves the cover in my face and then stuffs her nose in its pages. I guess that confirms her theory about the Celestia ghost hoax. “How many pictures do you want, Twilight?” “How many do you have?” “A lot!” “How many is a lot?” “Like a million!!” “I’m sure you have plenty” Twilight laughs a little. “Is the bad pony going to jail?” Featherweight stops flashing his camera and sits down. He looks really concerned. Twilight frowns and narrows her eyes. “Without a doubt in my mind.” Prince Blueblood, We admire your commitment to our agreement. That being said, you did not disappoint. That little lizard is heading to the castle as we write. Seems as though he’s formed himself a measly fellowship, too. Nothing to lose sleep about, I assure you. Now, all we require of you is to show them the way to the throne room. Our boys will fly in and knock that princess silly until she keels over. If luck shows its face today, the little lizard just might take the blame again. That’d be a hoot! We have gone ahead and reminded our goons of the crown as well. That treasure means profit and we have assured them that there will be consequences of the relentless sort, should they return empty hoofed. My boy, can you taste that throne? - Your Friends “Oh, my...” All three of us stop. Nopony says anything. There’s another one in the room with us. I slowly turn my head to the door and see the stallion of the hour. Prince Blueblood’s face couldn’t get any redder. “I see that...you appear to have lost your way.” he clears his throat and takes a step closer to us, “Perhaps we could discuss matters elsewhere. I understand that L-Luna requires your presence in-” Twilight cuts him off with a blast of force from her horn. The prince flies back and slams into the stone wall. Featherweight laughs like we’re all just playing. Twilight fires a see-through beam just before Blueblood can drop to the floor. Her magic expands around the prince and pins him up on the wall. He’s curled up in a ball and not saying anything now. From down here, he looks like a baby on display. He could just start crying any second. “Spike!!” I shake my head when I realize that Twilight’s screaming at me. She tosses me the crown and then points to the open door. “You and Featherweight...go find Luna!” “Are you sure?” I have to ask, “You got everything under control?” “Heh.” Twilight smirks, “Don’t worry. I’ve changed diapers for fillies that were tougher than this guy.” I smile and give her a quick nod before rushing into the halls. I can hear Featherweight flying close behind me. I’m really nervous for him. I can see the blood-red doors ahead of us. They almost stretch to the ceiling. Every time I’ve gone through those doors, something bad happens. This time is no different. It’s just the same song stuck on repeat. I come to a screeching halt so that I can turn back to Featherweight. I lay a claw on each of his shoulders and that seems to anchor him to the ground. “Spike, what are we-?” “Okay, listen...this is your last photo shoot.” “What?! M-My last one?! But why?” I shake my head and groan. “No, no. Scratch that. This is...okay, this is your most important photo shoot.” “Ohhhh.” his eyes light up, “What’s my motivator?” “Alright, your motivation.” I pause because I know he’s not going to like this next part, “Stay here.” “Huh?! Nooo!” he stamps his hoof on the red carpet, “I wanna go in and take pictures-” “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that. Just shut up and keep your eyes on me.” I use two of my claws to point at my own eyes, “You watching?” He huffs and nods. I can tell he’s angry. “Good. Now, stop yelling like a brat. Somepony’s gonna hear you.” “Yes, sir.” he says this with a weak voice, like he’s hurt. Maybe his feelings are what’s hurting. Either way, I don’t have time for this. I keep a hand on his shoulder, but then I turn a little and use another claw to point at the throne room behind me. Our eyes are still locked. “You don’t go in there...until you hear a lot of noise. When you do, I want you to bust through those doors, take your camera, and take as many pictures as you can. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but it’s probably gonna go by before I can keep up. And that’s why you’re really important.” “Ohh...” This might be too much for him to absorb. “Look, when this is over, we’re all gonna look at your pictures. So, give us your best work.” “Okay, Mr. Spike!” he can’t help but lift off the ground and wrap me in a hug. “Yep, yeah.” I wince, but I can feel myself smiling. I push him off me, but I can feel myself finally warming up to him; warming up to somepony that isn’t just listening to this story and making guesses about how I’m going to die someday. Somepony actually wants to know me and what makes me tick. I wouldn’t mind keeping this little guy around a little longer. Maybe when this all done, we can be kids again. For now, I leave that fantasy behind and step into the throne room. On the opposite end of this huge room, Princess Luna looks down at me. “You...?” She isn’t using her mighty voice like I thought she would. It makes me a little uncomfortable, like I’m seeing a part of her that I shouldn’t. She straightens up and deeply inhales. “Young Spike...pray tell, after the casualties that have long since transpired...what business remains to be discussed? What more is there that pertains to you and I?” The princess sounds weak. She sits on the throne where her sister once sat before her end, and now it’s becoming a little more clear to me. I’m some kind of bad omen. At least, that’s how Luna sees me. She’s lost the only family she’s ever had and now I show up in her home again to deliver the bad news. I look down at the crown in my claws and then I hold it up above my head. Her jaw slacks. She raises a hoof to her mouth. I don’t know if she’s going to say anything soon. I take a few steps forward. “Oh, Celestia...” I hear her whimpers echo off the pearly walls. “My beloved sister...who hath swiftly departed...from thine kindred.” I feel like I’m interrupting something important. What do I do? Can I just...lay the crown here on the floor? Do I say something? Before any of that can cross my brain in time, my vision goes blurry. I think there was a crash. Glass was flying in all directions. I blink. I’m stumbling over to the crown. I must’ve dropped it. I squint. Now I’m lying on my side. I feel a rush of cold air. I’m looking at the tall windows. They’re broken. Now I’m rolling onto my back. I’m staring at the ceiling. I can see the Wonderbolts. Two of them. Soarin. Spitfire. When I try to get up... ...I hear Luna shrieking. I look in the direction of the scream. Soarin and Spitfire are both flying straight for the princess. I blink. I see blood trickling onto the floor. The red droplets stick out when they’re staining this marble floor. I see Rainbow Dash flying over me. She tackles Soarin. There’s Pinkie Pie. And Applejack. They’re barking at each other and pointing. But the whole thing sounds like I’m underwater. Every time I move my eyes... And every time I blink my eyes... It’s a different view. Oh, wait. “Spike!!” I hear something, finally. My name. “Spike, is this good?!” Featherweight? I blink. He’s taking pictures of everything. I finally feel my legs, so I hop up and try not to let my head spin too fast. When I can see straight, I make out that Soarin’s standing in front of me. Between us, the crown sits on the floor. He slowly approaches is, but then he looks back up to me first. “Do you...mind if I take this?” He smiles like he’s shy and then he takes another step for the crown. I trust my instincts and just dive for it. I didn’t really think about what would happen, so I’m a little surprised when I land right on top of the crown and feel a prickling pain in my belly. It feels like when I get in a nervous fit and end up scratching myself until I bleed. I raise my head to see what Soarin’s making of this, but that’s when he gets trampled by Pinkie Pie. “PULL HIS HAIR!!” I look over to the throne and I can see Luna zapping at Spitfire like she’s just a fly. She misses a couple of times and zaps at the windows and the chandelier. “Soarin, get that camera!” I think that’s Spitfire. Good thing we have Pinkie, though. Soarin can’t even move. “You idiot!” That’s Spitfire again. She flies in one last time, whirls around Luna’s blasts of magic, and connects her hoof with the princess’s jaw. That sends Luna toppling from the throne and onto the red carpet trail. She’s still breathing, though. I think she was just caught off guard. When I look up, I see Rainbow Dash forcing Spitfire down to the floor. “Fluttershy! Come help me! Hold her down!” That must be weird, fighting somepony that you used to look up to. I don’t know why the Wonderbolts want Celestia’s crown. I don’t know why they killed Celestia. I don’t know why they’re trying to kill Luna. But whatever that reason is, it can wait. For now, I’m protecting this crown with my whole body. “Oh, dear...” Fluttershy can be heard above me. “C’mon, you got this!” Rainbow Dash keeps coaxing her into helping with shutting Spitfire down. “Okay...okay...” Fluttershy tightens up, “Here I go.” and she propels herself towards the other two pegasus ponies. She must have a lot of pent-up anger, because as soon as she collides with Spitfire, she anchors Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolt all the way down to the ground. After that, Spitfire doesn’t move. When I survey the other ponies, I can see Pinkie Pie and Applejack holding Soarin down. But he doesn’t seem to be resisting at all. “Oh, you must be joking.” I hear Rarity behind me. I think the crown’s safe for now, so I stand up and turn to see what she’s doing. It looks like she’s just walked into the room, “You’ve all finished without me!” I let out a sigh of relief. Behind her, Twilight’s big brother rushes in. “What is all this?” Shining Armor walks farther in and glances around the area, “Somepony answer me at once!” I look past him and study Luna for a second. She seems okay. She’s struggling to rise on all fours. Featherweight buzzes up to Shining Armor and shoves the camera in his face. “Look at my pictures!” his little voice bounces off the walls and fills the throne room. Shining Armor raises his brow and opens his mouth a little. He’s probably about to ask why he should be looking at photos at a time like this. “They’re my best work!!” The royal guard just looks around at everypony else and waits for a voice of reason. ________________________________________________ A few hours pass by. I’m in the dungeon right now; not in a cell. I’m with Twilight and her big brother. We’re questioning the three ponies that we’ve caught today: Blueblood, Spitfire, and Soarin. They’re the ones in a cell today, and I don’t think there’s any chance of them being set free. Shining Armor looked at all the photos. To put it lightly, he’s not very happy. “Alright. As it currently stands, the three of you deserve to rot in this dungeon. The level of treason that I’ve witnessed today is...I just...I can’t fathom all of this. I demand an explanation! Anything less than the truth will not be acceptable.” “Cut it out, big guy.” Spitfire scoffs, “You sound like you just hopped right out of a bad ‘cops and robbers’ flick.” “This isn’t some sort of fairy tale. You have cut down a princess in her prime, and you’ve nearly done the same to her sister.” “Really? I had no idea.” “What is your goal?” “Like we’re gonna just start flapping our mouths.” she laughs, “This your first time interrogating?” “You will provide answers or you shall not see the sun again.” “Okay, okay, okay!!” Soarin flies up to the bars and pokes his head through. “I didn’t even wanna do this! I really didn’t! But I mean...they offered a lot of money!” “Soarin, what the hay!?” the other Wonderbolt flies up and tries to pry him from the bars. “No, I’m not like you! I was just scared! They said they would hurt us!” “Shut up, Soarin! Just shut it!” “Look, we were hired to kill Celestia!” now he’s talking to Shining Armor again, “We didn’t even know the dragon was gonna be there!” “If you don’t stop being such a little foal!” Spitfire’s still trying to pacify him. “Then they wanted Luna out of the picture, and...they wanted you gone, too. Cadence was next, and then Twilight.” Shining Armor looks furious. “You have the nerve to even contemplate the murder of my family...?” “They paid us up front and told us that we could split the profit of-” “Soarin, I’m going to kill you!” That’s Spitfire again. “We could sell any jewelry we stole and then we’d share the money with them!” “With who?” Shining Armor is trying to keep his cool. I’m sure he’s just waiting to find out who’s really responsible. That’s when he’ll finally know who to unleash his wrath on. Spitfire finally yanks Soarin from the bars and the two of them toss and tumble backwards. “They simply told me that I could acquire the throne if I signed an agreement with them.” Prince Blueblood takes his turn to approach the bars, “You see, I never intended for all of this primitive violence.” “Acquire the throne?” Shining Armor repeats the words like he’s disgusted by what he’s hearing. “Precisely. They approached me with a problem that only Celestia could solve. Apparently, she wasn’t being very helpful to them. I agreed that I would assist them with their problem if I was somehow in Celestia’s position. They told me that they could make it so. I simply...did not predict their violent nature.” “Blueblood...” Shining Armor starts, “...if you ever plan to spoil yourself with another meal in this castle, you will reveal the names of these traitors.” The imprisoned prince just shrugs. “This royal family is becoming increasingly corrupt, anyhow.” and he looks away. “After what I’ve just witnessed, you can officially consider yourself the sole corrupt member of this family.” “Two sides of the same coin, I suppose.” Blueblood turns and disappears into the darkness of his cell. Shining Armor shakes his head and sighs before he looks to us. “I don’t suspect they’ll talk just yet, but don’t worry. We’ve prepared for this type of situation.” Twilight shows off a helpful smile, but her eyes tell a different story. “Twily...” her big brother hesitates, “I’m sorry you’ve been thrown into this mess. I can’t imagine how this must be affecting you.” “Oh...” she laughs nervously, “It’s alright. I’m just glad everypony’s okay.” “Yeah...but, why didn’t you come to me sooner? You know that’s why I’m here.” “Well, I...we didn’t know who the culprit was. I couldn’t just trust anypony.” “Not even me?” Twilight looks down. I feel a little out of place, so I tip-toe out of the dungeon, up the stairs, and make my way through the castle halls. When I pass by the throne room, I notice a lot of ponies mopping, sweeping and repairing the damages. I keep walking through the halls after that. I move through the front doors of the castle, down the long flight of stairs, and into the hustle and bustle of Canterlot. It’s not really the place I want to be, now that I think about it. I’m trying not to admit it, but I’m looking for a place nearby where I can be alone. I want my friend to pop in so we can talk about everything that’s happened so far. “Spike! Good job today!” I turn to see where he’s coming from, but it’s just some old stallion that I’ve never seen before, “You sure cleaned house!” “Uh...thanks.” I wave and keep walking along the streets. “It’s Twilight’s little helper!” a group of fillies flock over to me, “Hey, did you beat the Wonderbolts up? Were they tough?” I don’t say anything this time. I just move through them. I can’t believe the news has gotten out so quickly. “Spike? Why, is that you?” I hear a frail voice behind me. It’s Granny Smith, “Ohh, we done heard about how you went and helped out the princess.” “Yeah? Heh, thanks.” I fold my arms and feel awkward. “Yeeup, yer a natural born hero!” “Eeyup.” Big Mac strolls in beside her. He’s carrying a basket of apples. If I had to guess, they’re probably in town to try and sell their goods. They’d probably have better luck in Ponyville, though. “Welp, we best be off. Don’t let the fame go and get to yer head, now!” I finally relax when they leave. I’d might as well give up. I can’t even have a minute to be by myself, so I plop down on the edge of the sidewalk and watch all of the ponies passing by on the road. “My, my. For a second there, the world took him for a natural born killer.” I hear a familiar voice behind me. “Mhm, mhm. Right you are. You really hafta admire such a fearless character.” “Yes, yes, indeed. When everypony was against him, he climbed to the top and persevered.” “Quite the success story, you must admit.” I turn around and see the Flim Flam brothers. They’re standing on either side of their ice cream stand. “Oh, it’s you guys.” I stand up and join them. I remember their commercial from when I was in jail. But after all the times Discord messed around with it, I’ve sort of forgotten what they use to make the stuff. “Say, would ya like a cone?” “On the house!” “You deserve it!” “Sure, thanks a lot.” I snatch the cone from them and try a little taste for myself. I mean...it looks like any other vanilla ice cream, but...it’s really really good. “You ever treated yourself to some premium quality nourishment, son?” One of them nudges me. “Only the best in Equestria for the best in Equestria.” “Yes, indeed.” “Suppose they have cones like this where he’s from?” “Brother, he hails from this fine city of Canterlot!” “Ahh, so he does! You’ve done your research.” “As should you.” “What’s behind that tone of yours, brother?” “Why, I’m only making note of the fact that you never were too bright.” “And I suppose we should just glaze over that time when you dropped out of grade school.” “Now, now. We both know that I quit. That would be the term that you’re looking for.” “Such a dreadful establishment.” “Indeed.” Should I be listening to this? I feel like I’m just eavesdropping on everypony today. I’m almost finished with my cone when I start to become sick to my stomach. I drop the ice cream and it splatters across the pavement. “Oh, what a waste.” “Fine living ain’t for everypony, I suppose.” They both share a chuckle, but I can’t even fake a laugh right now. I’m gripping my sides and bending over. I’m just waiting for my belly to burst open and spill my guts all over the sidewalk. What did they put in that ice cream? “Ooooh, he looks a bit green around the edges.” “Brother, those little lizards look green from top to bottom!” “Oh, you’re right again.” “Mother always said so.” “Mother could never tell the difference between us.” “I do believe I hear the sad song of a sore loser.” My throat starts to burn. There’s fire welling up inside of me. I don’t have a choice. I let myself go and I unleash a huge belch and a fireball. The fire dissolves almost instantly and then all that’s left is a floating letter, wrapped with a gold ribbon. It gently falls into my claws and I don’t waste a second to unwrap it. Spike, It’s Twilight. You need to return to the castle as soon as possible. Soarin suffered from an emotional breakdown and informed us that Flim and Flam are completely responsible for everything. I would recommend that you- I can’t finish the letter because one of the brothers swipes it from behind. “Say, whatcha got there, boy?” “Hey! Give it back!” I try and jump for it, but they’re a lot taller than me. “Hmm, seems like they’ve sorted out this conundrum, brother.” They’re both reading the letter and grinning. “My, the illustrious Flim and Flam?” “Who’d have thought?” “Well, this is no good.” “No, sir. Not at all.” “Who could possibly bear arms against such a crafty duo?” “And a handsome duo at that!” “Hey now, Flim, I do believe that little lizard is thinkin’ about ruining our fun!” “Say, Flam, we’ve got just the thing for that!” I’ve stuck around longer than I need to. I use this time to whirl around and bolt out of here. But I’m not fast enough. Before I can even make any distance, everything blacks out. I think they threw a sack over me. I can’t breathe. I try to scream, but it feels muffled. I try to breathe some fire, but I just burn myself. It doesn’t even tear the sack. Can anypony hear me? Isn’t somepony seeing this? That’s the last thing I remember before something blunt hits me on the head. __________________________________________________ “Mmmm, can you smell that?” “I do, indeed, brother. I’d say it smells a lot like defeat!” “I’d say you’d be right!” When I finally wake up, that’s what I hear; the Flim Flam brothers. Their voices float around me and I never know when I’m going to suddenly hear one of them over my shoulder. When I can see, I find myself in a huge foyer of a mansion. There are two flights of stairs on either side of the hall. The floor is cold on my butt. I try to stand up, but I realize that I have an itchy rope tied around me. I can’t use my fiery breath for some reason. My throat feels hoarse. “Oh, you’ll find that too much ice cream can really dampen the flames.” “What’s that?” “I’m speaking to the boy.” “Ah, of course.” There’s a Flim going down one staircase and a Flam going down the other. I look over at the wooden front doors. All of the windows have red curtains drawn shut so that nopony can see inside. The sun’s still out, so it almost makes the curtains seem like they’re glowing. “Flam, slap that on a product! Use it as a slogan!” “Use what, now?” “What I just said! The whole bit about the ice cream and the flames!” “Hey, Flim, I’d be happy to do a heap of things with what you just said, except it doesn’t make a lick of sense!” “Don’t be thick, brother!” “Don’t act a fool, brother!” “Guys?” I speak up. “We haven’t forgotten about you.” “Yes, yes, we were just deciding what to do with you.” “And we came to a conclusion!” “We did?” “Oh, come now.” “Only kidding, brother! Learn to cut a rug from time to time!” “Are you asking for a dance, now? Is that what you’re doing?” “A dance? Why, not at all!” “Brother, are you aware of what it means to cut a rug?” “Well, I suppose not.” “Hm. That’d explain a great deal-” “Guys, seriously?” I speak up again. Listening to these dumbos is torture. Maybe that’s what they’re going for. “Right, right, right.” “Yes, we’ve decided to hold you-” “Ah! Ah! Let me say it!” “If you can formulate a valid reason as to why I should let you, then be my guest!” “I’m the one who devised the plan!” “You’re so right.” “Glad you think so.” “Well, take the stage!” “Spike, my boy, we’re holding you for ransom!” “The royal guards will be here any moment!” I don’t think they thought very hard about this. They’ve probably never done anything like this before. Like, I’m sure they’ll get their money from the royal family, but what about after they set me free? What’s stopping the guards from rushing in the house and arresting them? Thinking about the flaws keeps me comfortable. I decide to keep this to myself. I wanna see them fail. “We’ve gotten ourselves tangled with quite the snake here...” “So we’re planning on disposing of you when they deliver the goods!” “After all, we’d be sitting ducks if we took your leash off.” “And the instrument for ending the poor boy’s life?” “I could only dish out the croquet mallet.” “That’ll do, brother, that’ll do!” “I agree! Why, a well-executed strike with this dandy should treat him nicely!” “You’ll wanna shoot for the temples, brother!” “Now, is that so?” “Why wouldn’t you?” “I was wagering on taking a shot between his eyes, myself.” “Oh, no, no, no. Dear brother, you’ll find that the thinnest region of the skull lies adjacent to the ears.” “Really, now?” “Try it for yourself!” I flinch when he says that. “Not just yet, brother. We don’t have our money yet!” I have to get some answers. “Look, you guys are fun to listen to and all, but why are you guys going to all this trouble?” “Well, son, we don’t want our asses to end up sitting on somepony’s mantlepiece!” “What we have here is a situation that requires delicate planning!” I shake my head. “No, I mean all the murder! Why do you guys wanna smear the royal family?” “Oh, not the royal family!” “Just the bad eggs.” “Indeed. Blueblood proved to be the only competent mind in this wretched monarchy.” “The only one to accept our monopoly, that’s for sure!” I blink a few times. “It’s just for money?” “Well, well, welly, welly, well.” “Money can buy happiness, my boy!” “It’s a proven fact!” “Celestia never saw eye to eye with our grand plan.” “Didn’t like the idea of countless carnivals, banks, shopping malls, restaurants...” “Bowling alleys, cinemas, hospitals, oil derricks, libraries...” “Oh, but no schools!” “Right, of course!” “Terrible places.” “Never did nothing for nopony!” This is insane. It’s almost stupid. Ponies shouldn’t be dying just to have a bunch of buildings in Equestria. “Flim...Flam! This is Shining Armor. You will release Spike if you want your ransom.” “Oh, good show!” “It’s finally starting!” “What should we do first? I’ve got a clear shot of the boy’s cranium!” “That guard’s got a megaphone! Have we got a megaphone around here?” “Say, just crack the door open! Use those hefty lungs, brother! Tell the good ponies what they need to do!” One of the brothers trots to the front doors and opens them just enough to stick his head through. He starts calling out to Shining Armor, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. I look at the other stallion with the mustache and I can see that he’s not paying attention to me. He’s watching to see what happens at the door. “Hey...psst.” I try to whisper to him. He looks down at me and cocks his head to the side. “Yes, yes, what do you want?” “I just wanted to ask if you’ve ever really looked at your hooves.” “I can’t say I understand where you’re comin’ from.” “Well, I mean...you can’t really do a lot of things with hooves, can you?” “Ah. Hm. I suppose we do have trouble with everyday tasks.” “Yeah. When you think about it, hooves are pretty lousy. But claws...they’re pretty cool.” “Eh...claws?” “Yup! I’ve got ten of em’! I can tie knots and carry things...just stuff like that.” “Well...we can do those things with the aid of our mouths!” “Yeah, but it takes longer, doesn’t it?” He looks away and huffs. “That’s what I thought. You know, another good thing about claws is that they’re really sharp. They’re like knives!” “Really, now?” “Mhm. We can cut through a lot.” “Such as?” I shrug. “Well, rope’s pretty easy to cut through.” He nods his head and then he focuses on his brother at the door again. I don’t think he gets the idea, which means that this is my time to lash out. I slice through the last bit of rope that I’ve been working on and then I dive for him. He doesn’t see me coming. We both hit the ground and bump heads. I try not to slow down, though. I’m sitting on his chest now, so I have an advantage for a few seconds. I reach for the rope and wrap it around his neck. After this, I fumble around and try to tie the tightest knot I can muster. This causes him to panic. Judging from how constricting that knot is, I’m sure it’s almost impossible to breathe. He thrashes here and there and tries to untie the knot, but his hooves clumsily rub against the ends of the rope. If I give him a chance to recover, he could end up killing me. I try not to think about it too hard, because I’ll chicken out if I do. As fast as I can, I swing my claws and let them glide across his face. One after another, my claws peel away at his skin. Lines of blood are crawling down his cheeks. I can’t stop here. I grip each end of his dumb mustache and rip them clean off his lips. The adrenaline is helping out a lot in all of this. I almost can’t believe this is happening. I go for the eyes. I look at the ceiling and thrust my claws down. I don’t ease up. He’s trying his best to scream. Some of it can be heard, but it’s not enough to get anypony’s attention. I squeeze as hard as I can until I feel something burst. It takes me by surprise, so I finally recoil and hop off of him. I crawl backwards and try to get some space between us. He’s not moving. “F-F-Flammm!?!” the other one finally notices, “W-What in Equestria have you done!?” At that moment, the doors behind him fly open and a squad of royal guards dogpile on the stallion. “No, no, no!! This is all wrong, now! We had an understanding! Money first, lizard later!” Nopony answers his cries. Shining Armor looks in my direction, but he doesn’t say anything to me. He looks afraid. I decide not to stick around. I jump to my feet and scramble up the flight of stairs that are closest to me. I keep climbing the steps until I reach the top. I round a corner here and another corner there. I keep running through this mansion that I’m not familiar with, but it doesn’t matter. If I see stairs, I climb them. I make a few wrong turns, but it’s okay because, eventually, I find the path I need to take. I reach the roof and it’s all worth it. The sun’s setting. There’s a cold breeze. I can see the whole city from up here. I step up to the railing and look down. There’s a huge crowd of ponies forming around the front of the mansion. I lift myself up until I’m balancing myself on the stone rails. I hold my breath and decide that I’ll count to ten. One. There’s a gust of wind and I almost fall forward. Two. I think of Twilight and how she always kept a roof over my head. Three. Four. I think of my friend; the one that I pushed away. Five. Six. Seven. I think of how much Featherweight admired me, and what he’d say if he saw me now. Eight. Nine. Ten. .............. ............... ............. ................ ..................... Eleven. “Oh, get down from your high horse.” I gasp and let all of the tears escape. I fall backwards when I try to turn around too quickly, but he catches me. I’m taken away from the railing and then we just hover in the air for a while. “Spikey Wikey, just what are you trying to do? We all trusted that you would push through.” “I-I killed s-somepony, Discord...” He wipes a tear from my eye and cradles me. “And it’s a shame that you didn’t pick off the other buffoon. Nonetheless, this is a crowning achievement.” “Huh?” I sniff. “You’ve made an enemy. You have living proof that you’ve stood for something that wasn’t shiny and edible.” He chuckles. “Why are you always here?” “Now, now. Why do you insist on questioning what you have?” I don’t say anything else. I look at the sun and wait for it to disappear behind the mountains. It could happen any second now. “Let’s just enjoy it while there’s still time.”
