Sunset Shimmer: The Quest For Steak!

by overlord-flinx

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pipsqueak, Sunset Shimmer, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Other, Equestria Girls
Length: 3202

Hunger grips at us all... But have you ever been so hungry for one single thing that you were willing to break the laws of reality to get what you wanted? Sunset Shimmer sure did. And she's bringing Pipsqueak along for the ride.

Hunger grips at us all... But have you ever been so hungry for one single thing that you were willing to break the laws of reality to get what you wanted? Sunset Shimmer sure did. That's why she embarked on this crazed mission to risk life and limb for her true love: Steak. And, if she happens to find a leather jacket to bring home? That'll just be a bonus.

The suspense! The thrills! The goofy-comedy! All while keeping a horrible secret under it all! What will happen? Find out!

Spin-off of: "Know Your Mare" and "Shimmer, My Big Bad Sis."

Published 2013-08-22 01:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-07 20:58:39 UTC

Episode One: Let Me Tell You...

Do you know what perfection is? Of course you don't... But I do. Oh-ho-ho-ho, I do... You see, you and your little pony friends are ignorant, pee-brained savages living off of the land. Living off the land... Such a cute, pathetic sentiment. Why waste your time harvesting, tending, and caring for nature when you can just simply take what you want? Why eat the land when you can eat what eats the land? I mean meat... poultry, beef, lamb, pork; the basics of the survivor's food groups. Juicy, hot, thick, tender meat...

I am Sunset Shimmer; and thanks to a long trip I had to another world... I'm a carnivore. Unfortunately, eating meat is "wrong" here in Equestria. Somehow it's "immoral" to eye a fat cow and think of them as a steaming heap of burgers. We live in a world where it's -for some reason- "strange" to sniff a pig baking in the sun. This is a world that just can't accommodate someone of my "tastes", apparently. I'm considered "sick" for wanting to start a M.E.O.E. organization; Meat Eaters of Equestria. Times have changed... We live in a sick, oppressive world...

However... A thought had occurred to me some time ago. If I were to just have the smallest nibble of meat again from the other world, maybe that would be all I needed to stop craving it so badly. If anything, I can assume that if I were to get my leather jacket from that world, that would be more than enough. I miss the feel of leather so much... But, when I suggest that we start making leather here in Equestria, they threaten to call the guards on me! Whatever... I'll solve this problem my own way. It's a very simple plan actually. For the best, the partner I'm bringing with me needs things simplified...

Find meat, eat it. Find my jacket, take it. A simple plan all the way through. Foolproof. But, there is one little problem left... The mirror is kept in the Crystal Empire's castle. Highly guarded after my last break-in and break-out, it's nearly impossible to get to that mirror. To even get near it, we'll need the greatest degrees of cunning we could possible use...

"Would thou have't been in search of this?" Princess Luna inquired as she gestured a single wing to the Crystal Mirror and looked down at Pipsqueak.

The two were left alone as the guards were dismissed by the princess herself when her loved and greatest friend, Pipsqueak, asked for a tour of the Crystal Castle. When Pipsqueak talked about how he was interested in seeing the Crystal Mirror, Luna did not hesitate a moment to showing her little friend the way there and a direct display of the mirror itself. Pipsqueak looked it over in wonderment for a bit and nodded at Luna with glee. "Thank you, Luna! It's so pretty!" Pipsqueak's declaration made Luna giggle a bit.

The young princess withdrew her wing back to her side and looked to Pipsqueak with a soft expression. "Very much so. If thou whilst excuse me though, the royal chambers art calling mine name..." Luna nervously laughed as she felt her insides scrunch up and try to hold in her 'royal decree'.

With a simple wave and a step out of the way, Pipsqueak allowed the princess to dart out of the mirror chamber and down the castle hallway. Royal business was royal business after all. Pipsqueak made sure to watch her leave the hallway and enter what he guessed to be the 'royal chamber' before he said anything. "The cost is clear..." he whispered while looking around the small room.

Suddenly, a small spark of greenish magic erupted near the mirror, summoning from it Sunset Shimmer with a disproving scowl. "The coast is clear, Pipsqueak."

"But we're not on a beach..." Pipsqueak retorted.

All Sunset Shimmer could muster was a disproving groan and shake of her head before looking away from her brother and instead at the familiar mirror. "It's been too long, old friend..." Sunset muttered, lost in a fit of memories.

Pipsqueak joined Sunset at her side and looked up at her. "...Mirror's can't be friends, Shim," his kind smile kept Sunset Shimmer from hitting him at that point.

"Once we walk through here, our quest will start. So... Let me get a few things out of the way," Sunset cleared her throat, knowing this would take awhile, "First, get used to walking on your back legs. If you walk on all four, you'll draw too much attention. Second, if you see anyone that looks like you, tell me..." Sunset Shimmer's eyes narrowed to a shift glance, "Anyway... You'll also want to stop using the word 'pony' to address large numbers. Instead, just use 'people' or 'everybody'. Lastly..."

Pipsqueak waited for what the 'lastly' part he needed to hear, but Sunset stopped talking altogether. When he looked up, it was somewhat of a surprise to see his big bad sister blushing and casting her gaze elsewhere. "Shim? You alright?" He nudged at her side once.

"Y-Yes, I'm fine," she shook herself a bit and straightened up her posture, "Lastly, just remember I'm a bit well known around where we'll be. So if anyone asks, you're some kid I met on a trip to England last summer. Got all that?" No, he didn't at all... But that didn't stop him from smiling and nodding to make Shimmer happy.

"'Fore we go... Remember the note?" Pipsqueak asked.

Sunset Shimmer scoffed a little bit from self-pride when she lifted a piece of paper she had with her in a sack against her side and placed it on the floor. The note was a simple thing to tell Luna that Pipsqueak 'Went home for cookies and to get in his PJs for night-night'. Foolproof. "Alright, let's go!" Pipsqueak, without another word of warning, charged at the mirror at full force.

"Pip, wait!" Sunset tried to put her hoof down in front of him, but when she watched the surface of the mirror ripple and send little shimmers of light and sparkles, she could see she plainly missed. "Children these days... No patience." With that, Sunset Shimmer herself followed through the mirror after Pipsqueak, feeling the familiar sensation of otherworldly travel.

Within moments, she felt her mind slip away and all reality around her darken into nothing. When next her eyes opened, she would be back 'home'... And thirty minutes away from the cafeteria. God willing, it was steak day.

Episode Two: Where's My Tail!?

Canterlot High. Quiet at this early hour before the school bell rang and school buses brought the students in. That's what made it so perfect for Sunset Shimmer to pick as the hour of her return. Stepping through the reflective pool against the statue in the school yard, Sunset Shimmer looked herself over and grew very happy. She never really imagined she would miss her human body so much. More-so, how much she missed her clothes. With just a simple touch to the black, thick surface of the jacket she was wearing, she tingled all over. Leather... Sweet, sweet leather. Oh, how she missed it. Amidst her feeling of her beloved leather, a small thought came to her. When it did, she looked around where she was standing for where Pipsqueak wound up.

It was an easy assessment to figure out that Pipsqueak was laying on the floor under her, between her legs; flat on his face. She let a momentary groan pass before she reached down and grabbed Pipsqueak by his new head. His hair was as scraggy and matted as usual, so the mirror at least didn't change that. Turning him around while he was still knocked out, she examined his new shape more. His skin was near bleach white, much like his coat used to be. Sunset Shimmer expected as much... But she hadn't expected was that around his left eye he still had his brown mark; which now just blended into the skin around and gave him a 'dirt-mark' on his face. The fact that she was able to lift him told her that he was about the size as one of those Crusader girls. Figures.

Sunset Shimmer then started to look over his clothes... Which made her start laughing out loud. Of all the clothes he could have appeared in within this world, it had to be his old pirate costume. Blue peacoat, white blouse under that, and a pair of green shorts. To Sunset, this was just too perfect. While she laughed at her little brother's fortune, she felt his head stir against her fingers. His two eyes flickered open and he let out a small yawn, stretching while still in the clutch of his sister. Pipsqueak shuttered his eyes for a second, still dazed by the strange new travel he went through. However, his eyes shot wide when he saw Sunset holding him.

Sunset Shimmer cringed sharply when Pipsqueak started screaming like a lost child, making her drop him onto his new legs. The second Pipsqueak felt his feet touch the ground, his panic only increased. He started hyperventilating and looking around himself, barely able to stay on these new noodle limbs. Sunset gave Pip his moment to get this out of the way and just leaned back against the side of the statue they came from. Each new look around these surroundings was like a fresh kind of daydream for Pipsqueak. Walkways made of obsidian, stables connected to homes, and war machines without any clear weapon on them; this was just-- Pipsqueak fell very ill inside when he noticed he was excited. Normally when he got excited he would feel a series of thumps against his back legs... But there was nothing. He fearfully looked over his shoulder -which in itself felt very weird- and looked behind him.

Yet again, Sunset Shimmer was made to flinch when Pipsqueak started screaming again. However, this time, it came with a very clear statement: "Where's my tail!?"

If this mission was going to get anywhere before the other humans arrived, Sunset would have to teach Pip how to fit in... And to know that humans don't have tails...

Episode Three: How The "Other" Side Lives.

Years ago; many years ago, a mare stepped through the mirror and came out on the other side a changed woman. Strong on the man; her hooves were replaced by hands and feet. Her fur diminished into nothing but fleshy yellow skin. But, most vexing of all, her horn was no longer with her. In all of one second, Sunset Shimmer's life was changed into a new environment she was forced to adapt to. Which, in time, she did day after day. However, along her way, she began to study the "humans" around her now. Many of them seemed to resemble mares and stallions she knew back in original world; to a scary degree at times.

Now, many already know this; that the mirror mirrors the lives of every living creature on the other side of the mirror. There's a simpler way of saying it though. For every person in one world, there's a mirrored version of that person in the other world. It was this very astute observation that started to make Sunset Shimmer grow curious in her time within that world. Something that, to this day, she had never gotten an answer to no matter how much she picked at the subject. A topic that still irks her as a problem she could never solve.

What happened to this world's Sunset Shimmer?

Sunset Shimmer sat against the pavement in front of the schoolyard, clacking her familiar fingernails against the hard ground while she passively watched Pipsqueak squirm against his new body on the pavement like a bird with a broken wing. In all of ten seconds, Pipsqueak had lost even the most fundamental motor skills involved in being human. Primarily, he couldn't even stand at this point. But, Sunset waited... And waited... And waited while watching the boy she was supposed to be taking care of flounder around like a carp out of water. Part of Sunset wanted to help Pipsqueak get on his feet and get moving... But, the other and more dominate half implored Sunset to just keep sitting there and watch the show.

Pipsqueak planted his cheek against the pavement while breathing in a hurried pace, his legs kicking out wildly in hopes that his 'hooves' would clack against something. Amidst his panic, fear, and inclination to wet his pants he was miraculously wearing, a calming thought came to him. He recalled something his mother told him... The wise words of Queen Chrysalis to him in case something like should have ever happened to him. Relaxing himself, her wiggled against the ground and turned to look his eyes at Sunset Shimmer.

"'Ey... Mum says you're in trouble if I'm ever scared..." Pipsqueak warned his older sister, still, however, planted against the pavement like a dead squirrel.

Sure enough, Sunset groaned and finally got to her feet. At the very least, Pipsqueak was no at least somewhat coherent at this point she had to admit. Standing above Pipsqueak now, Sunset Shimmer lowered a hand to him with an open palm. "Reach your front 'leg' out towards me. Then, put your 'hoof' in my 'hoof'..." Sunset worded herself carefully; she'd get the terminology into Pip soon enough.

It took Pipsqueak a few seconds to register what he was being told. Move your front leg... Slowly, his left arm wobbled out and touched its fingers against the palm of Sunset's hand. Pipsqueak let out a little giggle and smiled up at his sister. "Crackers! Your 'oof is soft, Shim."

In a swift yank, Pip found himself on his 'back hooves' and wobbling under his new weight. His wobbling, however, ceased when he was pulled once again. This time though, he met against Sunset's own body and felt her 'front leg' loop around him and hold him close against her chest. "Most 'hooves' are... Now, if we're going to get anything done, we'll need to start filling you in on the terms for things around here. Got it?" Sunset felt Pip's head nod against her chest. "Good... First off--"

Far, far, far away... Perhaps as far as ten blocks away from the school, the airport was being loaded with a fresh stock of new arrivals into town. Many may not have been new to the town, many of which were just returning from vacations or business trips. Families and friends greeted arrivals at terminals with open arms and some with Welcome signs. But, one arrival was not greeted by anyone. When they walked into the returning terminal, no one was there to greet them or welcome them. Normally a sad sight, but for whatever reason, they just smiled and shrugged their shoulders as they walked on down to the luggage collection area. That is, until they froze in their tracks and turned to look back down the terminal.

They searched around behind themselves for some time in search of something. But, to their growing worry, they didn't see what they were looking for. Growing all the more worried, they cupped their hands together and formed an amplifier in front of their mouth. "Pipsqueak!" They yelled down the empty terminal hall.

When they put their hands down, from around the corner of a single column lining the terminal, a small child wearing a cuffley poked his head out and looked to his caller. The moment their eyes met, his caller had the brightest of cheerful smiles. "Squeakers! There you are!" She smiled all the happier and ran to the little boy, seizing him up into a wonderful hug and lifting him off the floor. "Pipsqueak, you had me worried for a second. I almost thought I left you on the plane." She sighed and put her face against the little boy's head, messing up his hat.

Tightly against a forced hug, the little boy joined in the hugging and squeezing himself all the more against the older woman. "Never! You'll never lose me!" He countered, hugging the woman as tightly as his little arms would allow.

For a good while, they just stood there, hugging one another and loving every moment of it. When they finally did stop, the older girl put the boy on the floor and fixed his hat for him. She knelt down to his level and stroked a hand against the little boy's cheek. "You're dang right I'd never lose you... I love you, Squeakers..." She leaned in and kissed the little boy on the tip of his nose.

In return, the little boy went onto his tiptoes and kissed the girl right back onto her nose. "I love you more, Shimster."

They both shared a smiling exchange with one another before 'Shimster' picked Pipsqueak up and allowed him to ride on her shoulders as they headed off to baggage claim. After so long, they were finally home...

Four years ago, Canterlot High had one of the best and brightest students the world had to offer. She was educated beyond her years and was known as the prized pupil of Principle Celestia herself. In that year, the students all loved her and so did the teachers. That's exactly why she won Princess of the Fall Formal that year. To this day, they still have the picture of her up from that night. She seemed so kind, dressed in that white and yellow gown and having the most hopeful of looks in her eyes. That's why it's such a mystery...

Every year after that, every year after she came back from that trip abroad, she became so... Evil. It had been a great blow to the schools morale every year after until Twilight Sparkle came and dethroned her. Although, many students still held onto the hope that Sunset Shimmer, the nicest girl they once knew since sixth grade, would someday return to being a good girl. Return to being the girl they all voted out of love to be their princess four years ago. Maybe become the girl that didn't wear leather 24-7. Or turn into a blood-thirst demon... Or the girl that had an unhealthy thirst for meat.

Someday... Someday...

Pipsqueak nodded his head slowly, watching intently to Sunset Shimmer as she wrapped up the final bits of her explanation. "...Did you get all that, Pip?"

"Yeah... But, one question?" Pipsqueak stroked his chin with his newly discovered hand, mimicking his daddy Discord now that he had a 'claw' too.

"What's your question?"

"...Where do I tinkle?" Pipsqueak raised a brow to Sunset Shimmer.

Sunset glared at Pip and pinched the ridge of her nose while Pip shuffled his legs together, obviously needing to take a 'tinkle' right now. "Remember the steak, Shimmer... Remember the steak... You can dip it in red wine for all I care... Just remember the steak..." She grumbled off to herself while at the same time waving for Pip to follow her towards the bathrooms.