Dave's Magical Farts

by Copperpug

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Human
Length: 664

Dave is retarded... He also has magical farts

Dave is retarded… He also has magical farts

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-05 20:06:33 UTC

Prologue

Dave's Magic Farts Prologue

             This letter is of great importance. It was said in... Something... I think it was a letter or legend or something. Anyways it was said that a man named dave would go on an epic journey to save the world from... Well I don't think it was much of a threat... So there was no real point in the journey in the first place, but you know a threat is a threat. Even if it is only a threat to people that are wizards. Well by now you are probably wondering what this legend or what ever it is Actualy is....

Well It all started on a Saturday night. Dave was special if you could say the least. He had been sitting there watching tv. I don't think the tv was turned on, or plugged in, infact had power for the very least I mean the bill hasn't been payed in quite a while. Anyways he was just starring at it. His friend from the apartment next door had come over to his house. They were both kind of retarded, it shows considering they were both staring at the tv. I think that the tv was working wasn't just the fact that the tv was unplugged, it could of also been the fact that the tv's screen was broken, kinda like if you tried to punt a watermelon like a football. Wait... Why am I talking about this...... I don't actually think there is a reason. So as I was saying Saturday night, Dave was walking over the the fridge when he bumped into the wall. A flower pot fell down towards him. It missed, BUT THEN a second flower pot fell... It also missed him. Seconds later the fridge fell over and crushed dave. There was a purple poof of... Somthing, and dave was gone.

Dave awoke in a forest. He then awoke.. Seconds later he awoke after,he awoke. He got up and saw trees...because  its a forest, and there are trees in a forest. There are also some animals he saw a bear. He sat still because he didn't know what a bear was. He then started screaming at it then chasing it. Seconds later he jumped on top of it and started ripping out its hair to sell it at OrangeChickenHairForSale.com for BIG BIG CASH. He then dives into a river and propelled himself forward with farts. He then got out of the river with a fish in his mouth, spit out the fish, and walked away. As he walked he saw a path, and he followed this path and came across a large tree. He walked passed it, nothing happend. He then came up apon a dead pony it was a turquoise colored mint one. It was dead. He then proceeded to kill it after it had died. It then died. Seconds later it died, after that it proceeded to die. He walked along and herd it die. He proceeded to see a sea that was not there so he didnt see it. He saw more trees then he farted and continued on to find a house made of a tree surrounded by animals. All the animals were dead due to the lightning that hit the bird killing it instantly then it came back to life and turned into a large semi truck rolling over every animal killing it as it exploded like a multi shell firework you know... Becuase there multiple... Multiple shells... Then it drove through the house killing everything then a portal opened and it ran into the sun. In this world the sun orbits the planet... Kind of like a rotisery chicken Cooker thing, so you know... Science. Anyways shortly after this he set off to continue his journey. As he was walking he saw a crow this crow was black. He hated black People, also he was a nazi... Wait no that's Jim. Dave is just a normal guy.