The Bone Diaries

Twilight and the other ponies stand there, slack jawed as the creature continues rubbing his nose. “Y-you can talk?” Twilight asks dumbfounded.

The creature looks up at her and says, “Yeah, I can talk, ya damn ponies. I’m not an idiot.”

“But, why didn’t you say anything when you were attacking our town?”

The creature gets up, shakes his body to get the dust off, and says, “First off, I wasn’t attacking. I smelled something good coming from this way and decided to follow it. The scent led me here to this group of strange looking trees and I decided to look around for what was causing the scent when all these ponies started screaming and running around. I got confused and it all went blank. Then I took a bite out of this strange orange plant and it tasted disgusting. That is when I heard one of you whistle, so I snuck around and investigated. I was going to ask you what’s going on, since you weren’t running away but then that pink one surprised me. You all started running and I chased after you, trying to get some answers.”

And before Twilight could respond, Applejack takes a step in front of her and asks the creature, “So, wait, you’re tellin’ me that you wreaked our town ‘cause you were hungry?”

The creature sits back down, rubs the back of his neck, and replies, “Er, it would appear so. Except I have no idea what a ‘town’ is. Is it those things with the food in them?”

“What? No! It’s all these buildings.”

The creature cocks his head to the side. “Buildings?”

“Yeah, ya know, houses?”

He cocks his head to the other side. “Houses?”

“GAH! You’re not making this easy, ya overgrown critter!”

“Critter?”

Applejack begins fuming as Twilight steps back in front of her and says, “Applejack, let me handle this.” She clears her throat and asks, “Do you see all these, what did you call them? ‘Strange trees’?”

The creature looks around, notes the ‘strange trees’, looks back at Twilight, and nods his head.

“Well, those are called houses”

“Houses.” The creature rolls this word on his tongue, never having said it before.

Twilight nods her head in approval. “Yes, good, good. Now houses are also called ‘buildings’. Understand?”

“Houses are buildings.” The creature says these foreign words to himself repeatedly, trying to get them engraved into his memory.

“Yes, that is correct. Now, you see, when you have multiple ‘buildings’ and ‘houses’ in a small area, that is called a ‘town’.”

“Town. Town. I see.”

“Face it Twilight,” Applejack whispers in her ear. “I doubt he will get it.”

The creature, as if picking up on that, says, “So, these structures here are called ‘buildings’ and you ponies live in the buildings called ‘houses’ in this place called a ‘town’?”

“Well I’ll be darn. He does understand.”

“Of course I do. As I said, I am not an idiot. We Bone-Hounds are very intelligent.”

“Bone-what now?”

“Bone-Hound. That is what I am.”

“Right. Let’s pretend we’ve neveh heard of ya before. What exactly is a Bone-Hound?”

“Well, I am pretty much your average Bone-Hound. Large creatures with amazing strength, intelligence, and agility. There is nothing that can outrun us.”

“Ha, well, you’ve nevah faced me before.”

“Are you challenging me?” The creature begins to stand up but Twilight stands between the two.

“Now, you two, we don’t need anyone getting into a fight right now.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash begins. “Besides, I think wolfy here would win.”

“Say what?!” Applejack yells out.

Before anypony could say anything else, the creature says, “My name is not ‘wolfy’.”

“Then what, pray tell, is your name?”

The creature chuckles, sits up tall, clears his throat, and says, “My name is Asteroth. Asteroth Irontooth of the Bone Valley.”

“Wow,” Twilight begins. “That’s… An impressive title.”

“Thank you. Now, what are all your names?”

“Well, my name is Twilight. That is Applejack.”

Applejack tips her hat.

“That’s Rainbow Dash.”

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“This is Spike”

Spike simply waves from the safety behind Twilight.

“And that is Pinkie.”

“HEY THERE! And Pinkie excitedly yells out as Twilight and the others return their attention to Asteroth. “We have two more friends, Rarity and Fluttershy but since they are not here for some reason, I will have to introduce you to them later.”

“Perhaps another time,” Asteroth says. “I must be going now. Et vale valeant.”

Asteroth turns to leave but stops when Applejack runs in front of him. “Oh no ya don’t buddy. Ya ain’t leavin’ ‘till you help fix this here town.”

Asteroth cocks his head to the side and looks behind him, seeing all of the damage that he has indeed caused. He winces as the sign of a shop falls off, causing an unseen cat to yowl. “Oh dear.” Is about all he could say before Twilight and the others join Applejack.

“Yes, it would be unfair and irresponsible for us to let you go after causing such a mess.” Twilight says. “You need to take responsibility for your actions, even if they were accidents.”

“I, uh, well.” Asteroth then bows his head in defeat. “Yes, I understand. And what will you have me do? I do not exactly know how to fix these houses.”

“Maybe not, but we could always put you to work.”

“Work?”

“Yes, work. Where you do something in order to earn bits to help pay for the damage.”

“Bits?”

“Don’t start this again.” Applejack says in annoyance.

“So, it is decided.” Twilight say with delight. “We will find something for you to do to pay off all the damage that you caused. So, what are your special talents?”

“Uhhhhhh, I have no clue what you are talking about.” Asteroth says with complete sincerity.

“Special talents. You know, like what you are good at. Like, I’m good at magic. Applejack is good at bucking apples. And so on.”

“Oh, well, I suppose I have a few then.”

“Like?”

“Well, I am an excellent hunter. I’m also very good at climbing trees, tracking things and creatures, very fast, very good fighter, and very strong.”

“Well, I don’t think the ‘hunting’ part will be very… useful. Or the fighting thing.”

“But the strong part might come in handy.” Applejack chimes in. “Mah older brother, Big Mac, has a broken leg and we need someone big and strong to help around the farm. He could start there. If ya think you could handle it, that is.” Applejack adds in with a smirk.

Asteroth perks up at the challenge and says, “Of course I can handle it. Canis et os Ego nihil non potest.”

“Uh, say what now?”

“Ah, my apologies. That is my natural language. I said, ‘I am a Bone Hound and we can do anything.’”

“Fascinating.” Twilight says to herself. “Do you think that I can study you sometime?”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, it’s just, I’ve never seen or even heard of a creature as fascinating as you are. You are completely unique.”

“No, I am not. Nos os canibus multus. We Bone-Hounds are numerous.”

“I see. And are all Bone-Hounds as eloquent as you are?”

“If by ‘eloquent’, you mean can speak anything other than our normal language? No. I learned from my mother. Most of us prefer to stick to our native tongue. And honestly, I am still not familiar with all of your words.”

“Well, I could teach you more complex words sometime. But first, we still need you to get started working. Applejack, take Asteroth to Sweet Apple Acres and show him what to do. Meanwhile, I’ll try to find everypony and calm them down.” And with that, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie go off to find the other ponies while Applejack leads Asteroth to her farm.