M.I.B: Mares In Black

by Draequine

Rating: teen
Tags: Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Original Character, Bon-Bon, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Crossover
Length: 1548

We live in secret, we exist in shadow. And we dress in black.

Across the many dimensions of time and space, not many things are constant... In some places the gravity won't hold you down, the Ponies might not talk, and the produce might just sing you a blues lullaby.

There is, however, one thing that remain constant in every universe in the whole of reality... And it is those three simple initials;
M.I.B

I am a Hobo, so I own none of this canon content, So try to support MLP:FiM and go see MIB3 when it comes out, cause that looks KILLER!
Picture curtsy of Lamis :D

Published 2012-03-11 04:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-11 04:14:01 UTC

Prologue: Early Retirement

Prologue:Early Retirement

Of course, nopony ever considers taking the plunge. They all think that they can just ignore it forever, but they never do. That's why we work in pairs, it's not to do the whole good guard, bad guard routine, not so that we won't be lonely, that two heads are better then one, or any of those other silly reasons. No, its because we need to keep each other in check to delay the urge long enough to...Fix it.

Badlands
Coltfax county

I used to be terrified of the night sky when I was a filly. Well, not terrified of the sky itself, but of what the fact that all it's stars were arranged to be aesthetically pleasing on purpose implies, which is that we equestrians all were utterly alone in this universe...

The plateau overlooked the vast plain of desert that was the badlands. The night was clear and cloudless as always. The seclusion of the edge accentuated the silence. It seemed to look like there wasn't a single pony in miles! In fact, there wasn't any equestrian creatures around except two happy donkeys enjoying the peace. It was perfect.

"Oh Cranky! Just look at it!" the female donkey cooed at the other donkey.

"Just one of the many places that I stumbled upon when I was looking for you, Matilda." Said the donkey named Cranky to the other donkey.

Cranky and Matilda were on their honeymoon. Cranky had just wanted them to just take a cruise together through Baron Nashorn Bay. Matilda however, had decided that they should travel Equestria, taking the same path that Cranky took to find Matilda... Except much shorter of course.

"I don't think even pinkie pie could distract us from this wonderful night." Cranky said to himself satisfied. Pinkie pie may have been the best friend he ever had, but she was much to energetic for an old donkey like him.

In the darkness behind the unwary donkeys stirred a figure. The mysterious creature rose up and stood on it two legs.

It was quite dark that night so I couldn't really discern much detail. All that I did see from our regrettably brief encounter with it was that it was mostly hairless, and at the end of its arms were what L called "Hands", strange appendages that looked much like a diamond dogs paw, except without the claws, hair, and pads. Oh, and it also had 3 heads.

So it was basically one of the run-of-the-mill extra-terrestrial spooks we deal with on a regular basis.

The creature staggered, completely befuddled at it's situation. It could have sworn that it was just in a cavern located several miles below the world. Why was it on the surface under the sky? Why was the air so dry? WHY WAS THE SKY BLUE! The creatures extreme confusion changed into unbridled terror. It then saw the two donkeys, which were creatures that it had never seen before.It was one to be curious, so it had decided to investigate what the two were doing.

It managed to walk up behind the donkeys and utter a friendly,"Blarrggg!"

----One very awkward moment of silence later----

Matilda was the first to scream. Then the creature hollered loudly. This in turn caused Cranky to yell. That was when a net suddenly fell, entangling the creature. Out of no where at all came a cream colored mare in a black suit with an expression most serious and professional that was completely dwarfed by the shades she was wearing. Her mane was a split between bubble gum pink and royal blue that converged together into a bun at the base of her skull. Matilda would have barely recognized her as a mare from ponyville, that is if she could have seen her clearly that night.

"what is going on her-" Cranky exclaimed just as the mysterious mare in black whipped out a long, slender, metallic rectangle that gave a brilliant flash that did more then just put the couple in a daze.

"Got 'em L. Let's lets call Zeb and get our flanks out of here... L?" The black mare looked around for her unseen partner, ignoring the stupefied donkeys.

She dragged the creature with her as she went off to search for her partner.

The donkeys finally snap out of their stupor. The were utterly confused as they looked at the scenery, and realized what they were doing... more or less.

The plateau overlooked the vast plain of desert that was the badlands. The night was clear and cloudless as always. The seclusion of the edge accentuated the silence. It seemed to look like there wasn't a single pony in miles! In fact, there wasn't any equestrian creatures around except two happy donkeys enjoying the peace. It was perfect. If not a tad weird for some strange reason.

"Oh honey? Just look at it?" the female donkey cooed halfheartedly at the other donkey.

"Just one of the many places that I stumbled upon when I was looking for you, my dear?" Said the donkey named Cranky to the other donkey in a confuzzled manner.

MiB goes through agents like Celestia goes through bananas. Equestrians are just not meant to handle the suit. Some can't resist the pull of adventure from the near constant interaction with the odd extra-terrestrial space ship or dimensional portal. Others get exposed to the bad side of the job, to what happens when things don't go smoothly That is where the neutralizer comes in, wiping away all memory of ever working at the MiB. I try not to think of it as somepony being fired, but as a form of early retirement.

A lone unicorn stares into an abyss, but it wasn't so much as an abyss but a hole in the innards of reality. Her mint green coat was wet with sweat, sweat which was soiling the black suit she was wearing. Although the mares brushed, straight, pale teal mane excluded professionalism, the shock of solitary silver streaking through the left side of her mane ruined the sense of anonymity that she was striving for.

From the darkness the mare hears a familiar panicked voice coming up behind her,"... Jump L!" cried the voice is what she heard... What was said however was," Don't Jump L!" But by then, it was already to late. Just as she was making the leap she heard a scream. Then she heard another scream, and then, another. She turns around and hears an even louder scream, her own.

A strange creature was charging at L. Her legs refuse to respond. The mares throat clenches in terror, abruptly halting her side of the yelling. Her eyes became pinpricks in the darkness as the three screams rose to a crescendo. The sound drowned out the warning cry given by her partner. It also drowned out the ominous beeping coming from the peculiar thing betwixt her hooves. Nothing, however, could drown out the sound of what that odd little thing did.

The sound shattered the darkness as it emmenated from the wave of light surging behind the thing lumbering toward L. The white flash quickly overcame the charging alien with a force of power seldom seen by the likes of pony-kind. The burst dissipates as quickly as it came, leaving a very confused alien. Suddenly an ominous web of whiteness forms across the creatures skin. The middle head has just enough time to screech a bizarre expletive, blink, and think "Oh no, not again" just before it's body exploded, flinging the hapless head L-ward. It crashes into the mares suit with a sickening thud.

A frothy mixture of luminescent green and purple goo pooled around the still squirming middle head of the creature and L... It was most definitely dead, and L saw it... She saw it all. she collapses The other mare galloped to L, the look of grief on her face visible in the darkness thanks to the glowing gore splattered along her path. Her sunglasses in her pocket having served their purpose.

"Ly-...L, I-I just, I saw that you were going to jump and- and I just let go!" the creme colored mare gibbered on the verge of tears, all sense of professionalism gone.

The mint green pony stares away from the other mare with a strained grin," Everything is just okey dokey loki B! Just Great!"

Agent B sighs sorrowfully as she put on her shades back on.

"Hey lyra? Look at me for a second."

"Okey dokey loki Bon-bon!"

Lyra looks up at Bon-bon who smiles sadly as she takes a strange metal thing out of her pocket. Lyra keeps staring as the strange thing starts beeping. It kept beeping with increasing frequency until it just...flashed.

You'd think that employee recruitment would be one of the many difficult things that the MiB has deal with on a weekly basis what with flashing any agent that loses his/her/it's mind which, mind you, is quite often! You'd think that, but you would be wrong. We kind of have something of a lottery winner policy...

And thats the prologue! Its going to be a while before I start typing the next chapter.