Tales of Ponies Eating Things that they Shouldn't

by KQ

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 443

Some ponies eat things that they shouldn't.

There are times in the average pony's life when they are faced with a situation in which eating the problem is generally not the best answer. There are times in the average pony's life when the best answer is not readily apparent, and bad decisions are made. These are the tales of what happens when those two events coincide.

–

(In case you couldn't tell, there is absolutely nothing serious about these incredibly short little things. Don't expect in-character reactions or realistic/even remotely canon situations.

Backstory: One day, I suddenly got the urge to write something, but I had not a clue what (I'm generally absolutely terrible at original plot ideas), so I called up my friend on Skype and asked for advice. Her response was (jokingly, of course), "Write a fic about…Rainbow Dash…Eating a leprechaun." I responded with "Okay, give me a few minutes", and she just sat there holding her face in her hands with an "Oh my God."

Originally, it was just a tiny little one-shot, but fast-forward a few weeks, and my good buddy Aussie requests that I write another. And so, this monstrosity was born!)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-24 02:19:03 UTC

Chapter One: Rainbow Dash

It had started out as a fairly average day for Rainbow Dash. Wake up, practice tricks for the Wonderbolts, be late to work, slack off at work, practice more tricks for the Wonderbolts, totally-don't-lez-out-with-Applejack, practice again, go to sleep. That was the plan, and it was turning out all according to plan. No hiccups in the routine.

It was sometime between not-lezzing-out-with-Applejack and practicing again that Rainbow Dash found herself sighing as she glided lazily over the pastel rooftops of Ponyville. No hiccups in the routine.

It was boring, plain as that. It was boring, and she was bored. Story of her life, right there. Occasionally, there was some horrible disaster that threatened to destroy Equestria or some amazing miracle that would forever revolutionize ponykind, but those were just so commonplace that they started to become part of the routine, too. However, not even one of those occurrences would show up to break the monotony of the day. No, absolutely nothing exciting today. Even when she tried her best to spice things up with her tricks, training, and not-Applejack, she could still--

Hold on, she thought to herself. That thought's gonna have to wait. I smell a leprechaun.

She quickly redirected her wings and pulled a sharp u-turn. Her pace quickened, and the scent grew stronger in her nostrils as the wind beat against her face. Sure enough, it wasn't long before she spotted her target. She swooped down and sat down on her haunches, staring at its adorable little hat and somewhat unsettling smile.

"Sweet mother of Celestia," she said, a hint of shock in her voice. "I did smell a leprechaun!"

The creature stared at her unblinkingly. It never shifted any part of its body, save for its mouth as it spoke, in a deep, commanding tone. "I am not a leprechaun. I am normal pony."

Rainbow cocked her head to one side. "Are you sure? You don't smell like a normal pony…"

The normal pony's gaze did not falter. "I am normal pony. Give in to the darkness. Neigh."

Rainbow gave a sigh and a little shrug of the shoulders. "You know what, leprechaun? I think I'm gonna eat you."

The abomination to all that is holy started to sweat, but still stood its ground. "I do not agree with this plan. I do not think I wish to get eaten."

Rainbow Dash snickered. "Shut up, leprechaun!" She reared back, opened her jaw, and then pounced on her prey. One mighty gulp, and it was done.

She flared open her wings, flexed the muscles within them, and took off into the clear skies once more.