Of Ponies and Papers

by The card holder

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Main 6, Gore, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Other
Length: 10965

A portal to Equestria opens on Arstotzka's border, and you now have to deal with pony immigrants along with the usual mix.

It had been nearly a year since you won that labor lottery. This job had quickly turned into the best thing that has ever happened to you and your family. From the Grestin checkpoint, you had seen it all; terrorist attacks, long-seperated lovers getting back together, people trying to smuggle drugs into the country...
None of that compares to the day a portal opens to an alternate dimension just outside the walls.
Which is bad, because inevitably that means more papers for you to check and double check.
But still, a job's a job. Might as well keep a straight face about it...
And remember:
Glory to Arstotzka.

Published 2013-09-07 19:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-05 20:57:16 UTC

Day Zero: Prologue

September 6, 1983

You sigh as you lean back in your chair. Today had been yet another boring day, so far. You remember the first month you worked at this job. Those were some crazy times, what with constant terrorist attacks and the Order trying to turn you into their puppet. But you knew better than to do anything to risk your job; you have a family to feed, after all.

But still, the day's not over yet. You press the button for the loudspeaker outside.

"Next!"

The line moves up ever so slightly, and a middle-aged woman walks into the booth. You begin your usual procedure.

"Papers, please."

Well, she has everything in order, so that's good.

"What is the purpose of your trip?"

"Visiting friends."

"Duration of stay?"

"It'll be two weeks."

Reason checks out, stamp on permit is valid, passport numbers match up-

Oh, hello.

"These names do not match."

"My name was changed recently."

As is procedure, you give her the fingerprint form, and wait. She gives it back about the same time the printout from the MOA comes in. Fingerprints match up-

But not the names.

"There is no record of this name."

"I don't know what to say."

Well, you sure do. You press the button under your desk, and the shutters slam shut while a short alarm plays.

"Wait here," you tell the woman, as you do to every person you detain.

"What is happening?"

You see the guards stay put outside, before one of them shouts, "Out!"

The woman leaves the booth, and is escorted away by the guards.

"Next!"

Again the line moves, and a familiar face walks in. Your face remains neutral, but your voice carries a hint of happiness. "Hello, Jorji."

"Hello my friend!" the bald man returns, giving you his papers. "How are things in Arstotzka?"

"Things have finally settled down, thankfully. I was afraid we'd be going to war with Kolechia, then I'd be out of a job." You scan Jorji's papers while keeping up conversation with him. You can't help but spot a small error on his passport.

"Jorji, this passport is expired."

"What? I could've sworn I just renew it!"

You stamp the passport twice, once for the denial and again for the reason. "Sorry, Jorji."

"Is okay. I come back later with new passport!" He leaves, and you glance at the clock. Almost six, good.

"Next!"

A young man walks into the booth, and you go through the usual yet again.

"Papers, please."

He gives you the papers, except for his passport.

"Where is your passport?"

"They confiscated my passport."

You take out an entry visa and stamp a denial and reason on it, then return his papers. He walks out, and you look at the clock again. You still have about an hour left for today. You could probably process a few more people in that time.

"Next!"

An old man enters the booth, and yet again you do the usual. He has everything he needs, which is good, his reason for staying matches what he said, height and weight match up...

Wait a second, that isn't right.

"The passport says you are female."

"What do you mean?"

"Face the scanner please."

The curtains close, and while the camera flashes a couple times, you go ahead and confirm that everything else is in order with his(?) papers. The photos come back, and it takes all of your willpower to not look visibly disgusted at them. It's not everyday you see women who are balding, or growing a beard. You hurriedly give the passport the approval stamp and give everything back to the woman.

"Cause no trouble."

They leave the booth, and you're about to call in another person-

When a large crack resounds from outside. It sounded somewhere between a gunshot and a crack of thunder. You scan outside quickly, one hand on the key to the gun cabinet, when you see what is probably the source of the noise; a large purple-ish swirling vortex of some kind hovering just above the ground outside the wall. The people in line had already backed away from it, or even just ran away completely. A pair of guards put themselves between the thing and the crowd, guns raised. You went ahead and unlocked your own tranquilizer rifle, too, just in case.

The vortex surged again, and everyone backed away a couple steps. Then, a single form walked out of the vortex. The guards immediately aimed their rifles at it, but soon looks of confusion adorned their faces, which you could see even from here in the booth. And after moving your head to the side a bit, you could see why; the thing that left the portal, or whatever it was, was a somewhat small purple horse with both wings and a horn. You could tell it was female from here. She looked around, equally confused, before nervously waving a hoof at the guards. Due to the silence, you can easily hear that she indeed talked:

"Uh... hi?"

Pandemonium broke out as the crowd started screaming and running. The guards tried to control it, but to no avail.

Meanwhile, you just got up and left the booth, calmly heading back home. Personally, you draw the line at weird horse aliens or whatever the hell that was. You honestly didn't care, because you know that you'll just read about it in the papers tomorrow, anyway. And you generally leave after the entire line runs away in a panic.

Besides, it's six o' clock now, anyway.

The day was cut short by a scientific anomaly

Day One: Entry Not Guaranteed

November 3, 1983

Over a month had passed since that portal opened just outside of the Grestin checkpoint. All of the nearby countries, Arstotzka included, closed their borders, temporarily putting you out of work. Thankfully, you were still paid compensation for your forced time off, but it wasn't nearly as much as you'd make working. Your family was still doing well, and your son and niece were still able to go to school, so not all was lost. Still, you had to get money from somewhere, so you were glad when the papers said the checkpoint would be open again.

As for the aliens or whatever, mostly peaceful relations were set up, though you haven't heard much on Arstotzkan policy regarding the ponies yet. Still, this probably means more paperwork down the road, so you have that to look forward to.

As you walk into the booth, you look for the usual paper that the MOA leaves on your desk every day. As expected, there was about a page of new regulations regarding the ponies, but only a couple sentences regarding what you actually have to do with them:

For the time being, deny all Equestrian immigrants. No exceptions.

Well, at least for now your job won't be much different. If anything, it'll be easier, because now you don't even have to check some of the immigrants.

You look outside to the line, where you can spot a few ponies mixed with the usual people. You can't help but notice that somehow the portal that opened up was moved back a fair bit, now somewhere near the start of the line. You heard that magic was commonplace in that other world, but you're not quite sure if you believe that yet.

Anyway, you have a job to do.

"Next!"

While you get your rule book in place for easy reference, you hear someone step into the booth. You look up to see a pony waiting. In fact, you're pretty sure that's the same pony that was the first one through the portal.

You know the rules, but you still have to follow protocol. "Papers, please."

"Certainly." The pony levitates her papers through the window with her magic, something that makes you hesitate slightly to pick them up. "I think it's odd that your country hasn't arranged for me or the other princesses to meet their leaders," the pony continues talking, "but I figure now would be a good time to start good relations." She gives you a friendly smile. You glance at the name on the passport: Twilight Sparkle. These ponies sure do have odd names. Not that it matters, at the moment.

"No entry to Equestrians," you tell her, stamping her passport and not even giving her other papers a second look.

Her smile drops. "W-What? But... I made sure all my papers were in order, I even researched what I needed to get in..."

You hold the papers out impatiently, waiting for her to take them back. She notices this and levitates them from your hand, making you flinch back slightly. Twilight walks back out of the booth, disappointed, while you make sure your hand isn't sprouting extra fingers or anything.

"Next!"

The next person isn't a pony, so no quick denial there. "Papers, please."

As you look over the documents, the young woman speaks. "You know, I don't really think anything good can come from those ponies."

Issuing city checks out, all documents are up to date...

"I mean, with that magic of theirs, what's keeping them from just taking over all of us?" she continues.

Looks like everything's good here. You stamp her passport and give everything back to her. "Cause no trouble."

"Tell that to those horses." She leaves, and you move your rule book slightly.

"Next!"

Another pony walks in, and you go ahead and prepare the denial stamp. "Papers, please."

They give them to you, and you almost immediately get the stamps placed. "No entry to Equestrians."

The pony looks shocked, but says nothing as he walks out of the booth.

"Next!"

"Papers, please," you say without looking up. When you do look up, you see that familiar blue hood. God dammit.

He hands you a small piece of dark blue paper, which you read quickly.

You did not assist us in our quest to help Arstotzka, but perhaps you can help now.
We feel the Equestrians cannot be trusted. They could potentially undermine all we've been working for.
We have an agent named Andrew Woods arriving in two days. You will approve him.

You hand the note back to the figure, and he only says "The Order awaits," before slinking back to wherever he came from. Damn anarchists.

"Next!"

You hear footsteps come in, but when you look up you don't see anyone. Getting out of your chair slightly, you see that three small ponies were standing there, all of them smiling.

You simply stick with protocol. "Papers, please."

The three of them laugh for some reason before three passports make their way onto your desk. You look at them, and somehow manage to not burst out laughing. All three of them were drawn with crayon, with varying degrees of skill shown. Beyond not having any of the other required papers, there were a number of reasons why you couldn't approve them, including the fact that they appeared to be minors, if the dates of birth were accurate, and if ponies aged similarly to humans.

"These passports are no good," you tell them, a small smirk present on your face despite your best efforts. They really were just kids.

All three of them let out a big "Aaaaww," and the white unicorn said, "Now we'll never get our traveling cutie marks!"

You stamp the crudely made passports and hand them back to the young ponies, and they walk out sadly. You page a guard to escort them to a waiting room in the nearby gulag, and you see that happen outside. No matter the species, kids are kids, you think while looking at your son's crayon drawing on the wall.

"Next!"

The next several people don't offer much interesting events, apart from someone getting caught smuggling a knife and Jorji coming back with a new passport. There were a couple of ponies, but they were denied quickly.

"Next!"

By now you had been able to differentiate the sound of shoes and hooves, so you were already getting the denial stamp ready when a white unicorn walked into the booth. "Papers, please."

"Oh, I, uh, have no papers," she says. You look up and see that her face has a look of distress. "I'm looking for some fillies, actually, have they gone through here?"

You think back to the three small ponies (fillies, you mentally added), and remembered that the white one looked somewhat related to the unicorn standing in your booth now. Outside, the horn signaling the end of the day went off, and the line thinned out as people went home.

"Was it a group of three fillies, one of which was a white unicorn?"

"Yes!" Her demeanor picks up noticeably. "Have you seen them?"

"Yes, they tried to get in with fake passports. I had a guard escort them to the waiting room."

"Oh, thank heavens!" She leaves the booth, and as you get your personal belongings together, you watch as she goes into the gulag, then comes back out with the three fillies in tow. From the looks of things, she was scolding them. You chuckle. Maybe ponies weren't so different from humans after all.

Day Two: Diplomacy

November 4, 1983

Another day, another paycheck. You enter your booth like usual, and sitting on your desk again is the standard print-out from the MOA. As you expected, there were a few new regulations regarding Equestrians:

Equestrian diplomats are now approved for entry. A page has been added to the rule book for Equestria. All other Equestrians must continue to be denied.

Glory to Arstotzka.

You flip to today's list of wanted criminals and put it within view, then bring out your rule book and flip to the new page. Sure enough, there's now a page concerning the country full of ponies. You can't help but scoff at the names of the issuing cities. "Canterlot"? "Manehattan"? If they weren't in the book, you'd detain anyone with those cities on their passports. You never did like puns.

Once everything is ready, you press the button for the intercom.

"Next!"

In walks a purple pony, who is the same one that was first in line yesterday, you realize.

"First in line again?" you ask.

Twilight blushes. "Well, I like to be punctual." She magics her papers to you, and this time you take them without hesitation. You check her passport info, and everything checks out there. Next was her diplomatic authorization, and it did have the proper Equestrian seal and was allowed to enter Arstotzka. You feel like you're forgetting something as you stamp approval onto the passport, but then you remember that the whole polio scare died down, and disease charts were no longer needed.

You place her papers back on the counter, and the pony takes them up in her magic, a smile on her face. "Thank you!" She goes on, a spring in her step.

"Next!"

Another pony walks in, this one blue with a rainbow-colored mane and tail.

"Papers, please."

She just continues staring at nothing in particular.

"Your papers?" you ask, raising your voice slightly.

The pony seems to snap out of it. "Oh, sorry, I'm just dead tired, is all." She takes her papers out of her saddle bags with her wings, and you take them. Immediately you notice that she doesn't have any diplomatic authority. You quickly stamp the passport with the red and blue stamps and hand everything back to her. "Only diplomatic entry from Equestria."

Now the pony is fully awake. "What?! Do you know who the hay I am? Only one of Equestria's greatest heroes!"

Your finger hovers above the button to call the guards. "Hero or not, diplomatic papers are needed for entry from Equestria. Now please leave, you're holding up the line."

She sputters for a bit, before admitting defeat and walking back out. While you're not the kind of person to go mad with power, you still get a small bit of satisfaction from denying people who think they deserve to get in.

"Next!"

The next several immigrants pass with little issue. You detain one of today's wanted criminals, and Jorji stops by again to give his input on the ponies ("They are strange, but I think I like them. I go to Equestria for vacation, maybe!"). You fall into the usual flow of things, basically running on autopilot while managing to keep an eye out for any discrepancies in their documents.

"Next!"

That monotony is broken when another pony walks in. This one was large enough that you could probably call it a horse, and her mane seemed to blow in a breeze that wasn't there. "Papers, please."

She gives you a warm smile. "Of course." She gives you her documents with her magic, and you notice that she is another diplomat, so no automatic denial there. Issuing city checks out, and... what?

"The date of birth says you are thousands of years old," you say, unimpressed.

"That is correct."

You pause. How does that even... what? You are honestly at a loss for what to do. You could probably deny or even detain her for having a fraudulent passport, but at the same time it could actually be correct, with how they have magic and everything.

Eh, to hell with it. You approve her visa and give everything back, once you make sure there's no other issues. "Cause no trouble."

"I would hope not to." The whole time, her smile never left, even up to when she walked out. Freaking ponies, man.

"Next!"

Following the winged unicorn (there has to be a more technical term for that, you're sure) was another one, this one almost entirely dark blue, with what looked like stars in her mane. "Papers, please."

She wordlessly gives you her documents, and you began checking them. Like the pony before her, this one was listed as being thousands of years old. You didn't bring up the issue again, however.

But you did spot another issue to bring up. "This passport is expired."

The pony's eyes widen. "W-What? How could that be?"

You shrug as you apply the denial and reason stamps before giving them back to her. She hesitates a bit before picking them up and walking back out of the booth.

"Next!"

A third winged unicorn enters, this one pink. "Papers, please."

She gives you her papers, and you notice that this one had a much more reasonable age. Everything checked out okay, so you approve her passport and hand everything back. "Cause no trouble."

She nods and walks out.

"Next!"

A young man enters the booth. At least it wasn't another pony. "Papers, please."

He gives you an Arstotzkan passport with his papers, and you start checking everything to make sure it's all good. Height and weight match, issuing city is correct, the district listed exists-

Suddenly, the alarm sounds, the shutters slamming down automatically. You look out the window and see a man climbing over the wall, heading for the pony you just admitted. She stopped in place when the alarm started, and now she was looking at the man curiously. You curse to yourself as you unlock the tranquilizer gun and take aim. You fire, and the man immediately drops, a dart stuck in his neck. You see something fall out of his hand, and it rolls to a stop in front of the pony. You recognize the grenade and get down.

An explosion is heard above the sounds of people screaming and running, and you look up to see a cloud of dust where the pony was. Once the dust clears, you see her still standing there, a light pink bubble surrounding her. The bubble dissipates, and she looks around. The man was caught in the blast, and what was left of him was right in front of her. As guards move in to make sure she isn't hurt, you go ahead and pack up for the day.

The day was cut short by a terrorist attack.

Day Three: Admission

November 5, 1983

You walk to your usual station, newspaper in hand. The big story today was, unsurprisingly, about what seemed to be an assassination attempt on one of the Equestrian diplomats. You're honestly thankful that she was able to shield herself with her magic in time; not just because you'd hate to see her get hurt, but also because no doubt that if she was hurt that close to the checkpoint, you'd be blamed for it.

This didn't seem to change the MOA's thoughts on Equestrians, though you did have some new orders from them waiting for you.

Equestrian citizens are now allowed entry. They will require a special kind of entry permit, detailed in your rule book.
Glory to Arstotzka.

You check the new page, and compare it to the entry permit everyone else has to use. From the looks of it, the only real differences are an image of the pony's "cutie mark" instead of a fingerprint, and an additional field for their subspecies. Easy enough to remember.

"Next!"

Up first is an Arstotzkan citizen, who checks out just fine on everything. "Glory to Arstotzka," you tell them as they leave.

"Next!"

The next immigrant was a pony, specifically a green unicorn. "Papers, please."

She nods and gives you her papers with her magic. Sure enough, the Equestrian entry permits look very similar to the normal ones. "What is the purpose of your trip?" you ask, reading over what was put on the document.

"Just visiting."

"Duration of stay?"

"Only a couple of weeks."

Well, that checks out, at least. You look at the document's given cutie mark, a lyre, and lean to the side to catch a look at the unicorn's flanks to confirm it. Cutie marks match up, as do subspecies and everything else, so you stamp her passport with the green stamp.

"Cause no trouble."

She nods and walks out, a noticeable spring in her step. These ponies sure seem to be naturally happy, while everyone else you see come through here is neutral at best.

"Next!"

Another pony was next in line, this one a yellow pegasus. She was looking down at the ground for some unknown reason.

"Papers, please." Your voice makes her jump, and you can just barely see her back away ever so slightly. Regardless, she gives you her documents with a shaky wing. Seems like the poor thing is terrified of you, for some reason.

"What is the purpose of your trip?" you ask. Her reply is too quiet for you to hear. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" The second time, she's even quieter.

You realize that this isn't getting you anywhere. "Ma'am, I must ask you to speak clearly, you're holding up the line."

The pony takes a deep breath, before looking you straight in the eye. "Visiting friends," she answers, now using an audible volume.

"Duration of stay?"

"A few days."

You make sure everything checks out, having to almost lean over the counter to confirm her cutie mark, before noticing something. "Your length of stay is different."

Suddenly, the pony loses all of her confidence and collapses. "I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry-"

You cut off her groveling with a raised hand. "Ma'am, please get a hold of yourself."

She picks herself up, and after a few deep breaths, says, "I... made a mistake, I meant two weeks."

Alright, now everything's in order. You stamp her visa, and hand everything back to her. "Cause no trouble."

Wordlessly, she walks out. You glance at the clock. Jeez, that took about three times longer than it usually did for you. You'd have to hurry if you want to get the same pay as you did yesterday.

"Next!"

The next five or so immigrants pass with little issue. You were essentially rushing them through (or away), but you still made sure to not make any mistakes. Another pony came in, but they had an expired passport, so you sent them off.

"Next!"

An old woman enters the booth. "Papers, please."

She gives you her papers, and you once again quickly check over every- hold the phone.

"Ma'am, this is the incorrect entry permit."

"Oh, is it?"

Somehow, it seems the woman had gotten an Equestrian entry permit, rather than a normal one. The MOA seal being labeled "MOE" tells you all you need to know. "This is a forgery."

"I know nothing about that."

Well, you certainly do. You call in the guards, and they escort the woman away.

"Next!"

A young man comes into the booth, a look of general disinterest on his face. "Papers, please."

Wordlessly, he gives you his documents. Instantly, you spot something wrong.

"Where is your entry permit?"

"I did not know it was required."

As you prepare to stamp his passport, you glance at his name: Andrew Woods. For some reason, that name seems vaguely familiar...

You give the passport back to the man, and he mutters, "The Order knows," before slinking back out of the booth. Well, now you remember where you've seen that name, at least.

"Next!"

You greet Jorji with a nod and a small smile. "Hello, Jorji. Anything new today?"

"Good news, my friend!" he says while giving you his papers. "I book vacation to Equestria in a few days. I hear it's nice this time of year!"

While you chuckle, the sirens go off, and you spot someone climbing over the wall. "Hold that thought, Jorji." You open up the gun case and take aim with the tranq rifle. You squeeze the trigger, and the man falls over, knocked out. Thankfully, this time doesn't end with an explosion, though he did drop a gun.

"Oh, bad luck," Jorji remarks calmly while everyone else runs away. "I come back tomorrow."

You bid him farewell as you lock the rifle back up and leave the booth, watching as the guards carry the unconscious man away.

The day was cut short by a terrorist attack
New booth upgrade available: well-placed mirrors

Day Four: Change of Plans

November 6, 1983

As the clock hits 6 AM, you put the finishing touches on a set of mirrors inside the booth. The MOA was perfectly fine with modifying your station for easier use, thankfully, as long as it was out of your own pockets. At least now you wouldn't have to bend yourself over the counter to see if ponies' cutie marks matched up.

Once that was done, you got everything into position for another work day, and hit the intercom.

"Next!"

The first immigrant today is a young woman, who gets through with no problems, save for her weight not matching up, but you made sure no contraband was involved.

"Next!"

Next is an older man, who seems to be a diplomat from United Federation. Everything seemed to check out, but then you noticed something.

"You are not authorized to enter Arstotzka," you tell him. Antegria, Obristan, and Equestria are present on his diplomatic pass, but Arstotzka is, indeed, missing.

"I know nothing of this."

You deny the man and send him on his way.

"Next!"

A pony was the next entrant. Specifically, it was a unicorn mare who seemed a bit familiar. You held your tongue, though, in case you were wrong. "Papers, please."

"Of course, darling." As she gives you her documents with her magic, you know for sure you've heard her voice before, and fairly recently, too. Still, you say nothing.

"What is the purpose of your trip?"

"Business, and visiting friends."

Her permit reason only says 'Visiting', but you could probably let that slide. "Duration of stay?"

"About a week."

Once you make sure that everything she said checks out, you start working on making sure everything else was correct. "Oh, you're the human who helped me find my sister and her friends a few days ago," she finally says. "I'm sorry for not recognizing you, most humans still look alike for me."

"It was no trouble," you tell her, flipping to the 'Equestria' page of your rulebook. "I was just doing my job."

Satisfied with her papers, you stamp her visa, and hand everything back. "Cause no trouble."

"Wouldn't dream of it, darling." She leaves the booth.

"Next!"

Several immigrants enter your booth, including some ponies, and save for someone from Republia who thought that a press badge was all the papers he needed, there was little incident involved.

"Next!"

Yet another pony enters the booth. The first thing you notice is how she's literally hopping, a smile on her face. The next thing is that she is incredibly pink.

"Papers, please," you tell her, and you could swear that for a second she froze in mid-air. Grinning, she just gives you her documents.

"What is the purpose of your trip?"

As if a dam had burst, she began talking. "Well, I really wanted to see some of my friends, but I also heard that humans have some bakeries of their own, so I thought I might try them out too, and-"

"Alright, alright." You hold up a hand, silencing her. Her permit reason says 'Visiting', so that will work. "Duration of stay?"

"Well, they said it'd only take like a week, but then again, I might stay two weeks, so I can sample human bakeries some more! One week, or two weeks? One week, or-"

You cut her off before she can get started again. "Miss, which is it?"

She silently thinks for a moment, something you're all too thankful for. "What's it say on my paper thingy?"

You look. "Two weeks."

"Then two weeks it is!"

You roll your eyes, and start looking at all her other stuff.

"Say, what kind of cupcakes do humans have?" You ignore her as you check the issuing city. "I mean, humans have told me that mine are the best ever, but surely that can't be true, because then-"

You cut her off by nearly shoving her approved visa in her face, followed by her other papers. "Cause no trouble," you say between clenched teeth. She just nods in reply, and bounces out. Lord help whoever she decided to talk to next.

"Next!"

A young man walks inside the booth, looking worn out. "Papers, please."

After checking off the reason and duration for staying, he speaks. "I couldn't stand that pink horse in front of me. She just kept going on and on about parties, cupcakes, and that sort of thing."

You chuckle softly to yourself. At least you didn't suffer alone.

"If that's what those ponies are like," he continues, "then maybe we should just keep all of them out."

"I wouldn't go that far," you say. "Aside from her, the ponies that have come through here were generally not too different from the humans."

He just grunts in response as you give back his papers. As soon as he leaves, the end-of-day horn goes off, and everyone in the line starts to leave. You start packing up your things, when you hear the telltale sign of a printout from the MOA. At first, you fear that you overlooked something on that last guy, but instead, it's something else entirely.

YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO TAKE PART IN AN EMPLOYEE EXCHANGE PROGRAM
REPORT TO YOUR USUAL STATION TOMORROW MORNING AT 5 AM SHARP FOR MORE DETAILS
YOUR FAMILY WILL NEED TO STAY IN ARSTOTZKA

Your curiosity was piqued. Looks like you were getting a change of venue for a bit. You're just not sure how your wife would react to this...

Day Five: Exchange

November 7, 1983

As you walk to work in the darkness of four thirty in the morning, you reflect over how your family reacted to the news. Your wife was surprisingly okay with it, and less surprisingly, your son and niece wanted to go with you. They weren't as thrilled to hear that they would have to stay in Arstotzka, but that is to be expected.

As you approach your booth, you spot the director of the MOA- your boss, essentially- talking with that one large white pony you let through not too long ago. There was also another mare behind her, who wore a uniform that was similar to your own. Her cutie mark looked like a pair of red and green stamps from this distance, but you couldn't be sure.

The princess and your boss stop talking once you're in view, and you give the customary quick salute to your superior.

"You're early. Good," he says. "I trust you know why you're here?"

"I was randomly chosen for an exchange program?" you offer.

"Not randomly, but yes." His words give you a small swell of pride, but it quickly passes. "Princess Celestia will show you to your temporary new station, while I will do the same with this young mare." He turns to the smaller pony, who gives her own salute in response. Humorously, she appears to be shivering slightly, though you can't tell if it's from nervousness, excitement, or simply the cold. Your boss nods, and starts walking towards your booth. Before he leaves, though, he faces you again. "Also, I should mention that eighty percent of any pay you earn while in Equestria will be wired to your family, so do not worry about them." With that, he leads the pony away.

The princess nods, too, and motions towards you. You follow her as she walks towards the building housing the portal between Earth and Equestria. A few armed guards are milling about, no doubt waiting for the night shift to end.

As Celestia walks through the portal, you feel a brief stint of hesitation. You haven't been to Equestria yourself, nor have you been through the portal. None of the people who pass through the checkpoint said how the portal was, so you were flying blind as to what would happen.

Ah, to hell with it. You steel your resolve and walk through.

Surprisingly, there was hardly anything to the portal travel. Just half a second of a feeling like being underwater, then suddenly you were on the other side. The Equestrian side of the portal was also decently guarded, but even from the inside of a building it looked a bit more colorful than Arstotzka.

Up ahead, you spot Celestia, who was patiently waiting for you, a soft smile on her face. When you catch up to her, she speaks.

"Is this your first time in Equestria?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She laughs. "No need to be so formal; we're away from your boss."

You pause for a moment, before letting out a small chuckle. "If you say so."

The princess leads you to a booth positioned at the exit to the building. Inside, you find that it's almost exactly like your booth back at Grestin.

"This will be your station," she says. But before you can enter, she levitates a hat bearing the Equestrian emblem. "You'll have to wear this, though, since you are now technically working here, no matter how temporary."

Shrugging, you accept the hat and put it on. You'd still be recognized as an Arstotzkan worker by your uniform, at least.

"You should have some time to learn the regulations for our border," Celestia continues. Suddenly, her smile falls, and her mood turns serious. "While the regulations may be less strict, I will not tolerate any dangerous humans getting through. Understand?"

You're taken off guard by her sudden mood shift. "Yes, ma'am."

Just as suddenly as it appeared, her mild hostility disappeared completely. "Good. I trust you will do a good job, but still, good luck."

With that, she heads outside, before spreading her wings and taking flight. Now on your own, you situate yourself in the booth and start looking over everything you have available for work. For the most part, everything was pretty much identical to your previous station, only with a different seal on things. Finding the book of regulations, you quickly turn to the page detailing the rules of entry.

Celestia wasn't lying; the regulations really were a bit more slack than in Arstotzka. Probably the biggest difference is that their entry permits don't need to state the length or reason for entry.

The pages for the various countries were nearly identical to the ones in the Arstotzkan rule book, but that was to be expected. Much like your home country, returning Equestrian citizens required an ID card, though it had an image of their cutie mark rather than their face on it.

Convinced that everything was in order, you looked at your watch: just five more minutes until the checkpoint opened. Already, you could see a collection of ponies and humans beginning to assemble in a line just outside the portal.

Well, might as well get started, then.

"Next!"

First in line is an old man from none other than Arstotzka. After reminding yourself that they aren't the ones who need ID cards here, you make sure that everything checks out, then stamp his passport.

"Glory to- Er..." You try to remember what the book told you to say to successful entrants. "Welcome to Equestria."

You spy the faintest of smirks on the man's face. "I can see old habits die hard, eh?"

The two of you share a quick laugh before he moves on.

"Next!"

A pony was the next one in line, a stallion to be exact. When they caught sight of you, they froze for a second out of confusion, but quickly got over it and handed you his papers. You went through the process you've become oh so familiar with, and soon send him on his way.

"Next!"

You process another few entrants, before a familiar face walks into the booth, looking somewhat exhausted.

"Papers, please." At the sound of your voice, Twilight looks up at you, her eyes flashing with recognition and confusion.

"Why are you working here?" she asks while handing over her papers.

As you begin checking them, you answer simply. "I was chosen for an employee exchange program. I will be working here for..." Now that you think about it, they never gave you a specific date for when you'd head back home. "...for a little while."

Twilight speaks again while you do a final check on her passport. "Well, since you're here, if you want, I could show you around Ponyville later."

"I'll keep that in mind." With that, you hand back her papers, and she leaves the booth.

"Next!"

After another large stretch of approved visas, along with the occasional denied one, an orange pegasus mare entered your booth.

"Papers, please."

She wordlessly gives you her papers, while glancing around for some reason. You go through her documents, making sure everything checks out, and-

Hang on a sec. This was a first.

You look back and forth between the mare's ID card and her flank displayed in mirrors on either side of her, trying to match up the cutie marks. However, it seems that her actual mark differs from that of the card.

You weren't quite sure what this meant, but you knew that you couldn't just let it slide. "Your cutie mark does not match the one on your card."

The mare stops looking around and focuses on you, her pupils shrinking almost comically. "W- What? But how could-" She looks at her own mark as if confirming it, while you go ahead and stamp a denial on her passport.

However, when you begin handing her papers back to her and she sees the red stamp, her entire demeanor changes. Her face becomes angered, and she's bathed in a sickly green flame. When it dissipates, a weird pony-shaped bug thing is standing in her place. It lets out a hiss, before lunging right at you. The surprise of this sudden turn of events is almost enough to make you not react in time.

Almost.

Thinking quickly, you pull the lever to close the shutters to the booth, causing the bug to impact the outside of it. As it hisses in a combination of anger and pain, you hit the button to call the guards. A siren goes off briefly, and you can see a small group of guards head towards your booth while the line of waiting ponies and humans scattered, most of them ending up going back through the portal.

The guards take up position outside the booth, as the bug thing keeps pounding itself against the shutters, though it wasn't making any progress. One of the guards enters the booth, and quickly engages the bug in a brief scuffle before the bug is knocked out. Once that's done, the guard picks their unconscious body up and leaves the booth, taking it to a holding cell.

After packing up your things for the day, you flag down a guard as you leave the booth. "Where will I be sleeping while I'm here?"

The guard points outside, to a set of bare buildings not too far away from the checkpoint. "Those are the barracks for the guards here. It's also where you'll be staying."

You thank the guard, and head towards your temporary home. On the way there, you couldn't help but look at the nearby town, which looked a lot more colorful and vibrant than any town back in Arstotzka. Is this the 'Ponyville' that Twilight mare mentioned?

Well, that was something to worry about later. For now, you'll just think about what happened today, and question why you always seem to get involved in so many strange situations.

The day was cut short by a terrorist changeling attack

Day Six: The More Things Change...

November 8, 1983

Oddly enough, though you couldn't exactly place why, sunrises here in Equestria felt a bit more cheerful than they did back home. It's probably just the sheer color of the place. Even when the nearby town is covered in snow, several vibrant colors poke through. Even the snow itself is otherworldly, being a much brighter white than you're used to.

Shaking the thoughts from your head, you stroll over to your booth, which was left in pretty much the same condition as when you left yesterday. The only new addition was a neatly rolled scroll resting in your work area. Curious, you break the seal and roll it open, taking a second to read the awfully fancy handwriting:

In light of the events that took place yesterday, there will be a new protocol for any disguised changelings you discover. Instead of calling it to attention, proceed as if everything is in order, but be sure to use the new stamp provided for you. It is made from a special magical substance, which will allow my guards to later track down the changeling with ease.

Stay safe,

Princess Celestia

Looking over your work space, you quickly find the new stamp, grouped with the usual approval and denial stamps. This one looked almost identical to the normal approval stamp, but apart from being labeled differently on the handle, it was also a slightly brighter green. You won't pretend to know how this magic works, but being able to track someone's passports sounds like it would be a very powerful ability.

Well, not really your problem once they're outside this booth. For now, it was nearly six AM, and the line of ponies and people waiting outside wasn't getting any smaller.

"Next!"

The first entrant is a middle-aged man, who seems to have a permanent air of grumpiness around him. Upon seeing you, relief flashes on his face, quickly followed by further disgruntlement.

"Oh, so now they got us working for them?" he says, not even waiting for you to ask for his papers as he shoves his towards you.

You say nothing, and simply go through the process of checking for any discrepancies.

"I swear, these damn ponies are going to be the death of us. First, they act all buddy-like with us, then we work for them, next thing you know, they're whipping at our backs, forcing us to dig out our own damn mines. But I'm not falling for their tricks, no sir, I'm going to-"

"This passport is expired."

He pauses in his tirade to look at you incredulously. "What?"

"Your passport." You motion towards it. "It's past the expiration date."

He just stares at the document like it suddenly grew legs and started tap-dancing, then just slouches as you stamp denial on it and hand everything back. Wordlessly, he leaves the booth.

"Next!"

The next one in line was a mare, who looked about as grouchy as the man who just left. "Papers, please."

She complies, and as you start thumbing through her documents, she sighs. "That man in front of me just wouldn't shut up, about how apparently ponies are out to get all you humans, like I'm not even there!"

Again, you stay silent, letting them get through their rant unopposed. Everything's in date, issuing city matches up...

"I honestly don't care what you humans do, I just want to go home, now."

You give a small sympathetic nod as you do a final check to make sure everything is in order, including a quick glance at her cutie mark to be sure that's correct, before you stamp the passport. She takes the papers, and leaves the booth, her former grouchiness somewhat gone.

"Next!"

The usual monotony of your job picks up, and several ponies and humans come in and out of your booth, with very few incidents to tell them apart. A few denials here, a couple of approvals there, but overall it was uneventful.

"Next!"

You don't immediately see who enters next, due to you taking the time to straighten out the regulations book on your desk, so when you do look up, it's a bit of a surprise to see someone wearing a dark hood. However, while your first thought was that it was those blasted Order or Eziac or whatever the hell they called themselves, the hood was actually almost white, rather than the usual dark blue. Not only that, but this one looked like they were actually a pony.

Despite this, they still slipped you a note, just as the other hooded bastards did, and you pick it up, noting that it had a strangely drawn emblem of something resembling a yin-yang symbol on the back.

We do not like your kind here, but we are aware this was not your choice. However, we know that you can potentially have a great influence, so we would like to ask a favor of you: We have intel saying that a number of humans who are soldiers for one of your secret organizations are going to be arriving within the week. We have their names, and you are to deny all of them.

Completely unamused with this bullshit, you halfheartedly toss the note back at the pony, who catches it with their magic, revealing at the very least that they're a unicorn. Just as quickly as the first note, he slips you another one, this one slightly larger, and also consisting of a bunch of randomly jumbled letters.

"You will be given the key tomorrow," he says, voice deep and unremarkable, "after you prove you can be trusted. Remember, the sun and moon see all."

With that, he spirits out of the booth, heading in the opposite direction of the portal. He must have come from there, too, as you would've spotted him in the line.

As for the note, you carefully store it away from prying eyes, certain to keep it hidden.

That is to say, you crumpled it up and tossed it in the waste basket. The last thing you wanted to deal with was yet another goddamn secret society of anarchists.

"Next!"

Thankfully, the next person in line is a friendly face, and a familiar one. "Hello again, Jorji."

Upon hearing you speak, Jorji's eyes widen in surprise. "Oh, it is you! What are you doing here?"

"I was chosen for an employee exchange program," you say, accepting his papers.

"Oh, that is good! I finally got around to coming to Equestria, and who else do I meet in the booth going in than you?"

You chuckle. "Funny how the world works, sometimes."

"Yes, very funny."

He laughs a bit, as you do one last check on all of his-

Hold on now. Your eyes are drawn to the scale readout on your desk, which contrasts notably with the document here. You know almost immediately what it is, but you just sigh. "Jorji, are you smuggling drugs again?"

"What? Why would I do such a thing? You know me better than that!"

You just look at him, and he sighs. "Alright, alright, I know drill."

Curtains close in the booth, and after hearing the brief rustling of clothes, you hit the button controlling the booth's built in cameras. Hitting it again after a few seconds, you begin to look at the printed pictures, while Jorji puts his clothes back on and the curtains part.

The front picture isn't hiding anything, but the back one shows just what you thought taped to the back of his leg. You show the picture to him. "Jorji..."

"Alright, maaaaaybe I try and sneak little bit through. You can just deny me and let me be on my way, yes?"

"Sorry, Jorji, but you know it doesn't work like that." You buzz the guards, and as they approach the booth, Jorji shrugs.

"Oh well, I should've known better than to try and sneak something past you. At least Equestrian prisons are more comfortable than ours, I hope!"

At that moment, the guards shout for him to come out, and he complies. You let out a soft chuckle. Even when he's attempting various illegal activities, you can't be mad at Jorji. It's debatable if he means well, but at least he's friendly about it.

You're about to call the next entrant in, when the horn signaling the end of the day goes off. Stretching, you get up from your seat and leave the booth, eager to get some shuteye.

As you crawl into bed, the thought occurs to you that your son's birthday is coming soon. Maybe you could get him something from Equestria while you're here...

Day Six: ...The More They Stay the Same

November 8, 1983

You struggle to remove the sleep from your eyes as you take up your position in the booth once again. The beds here weren't nearly as comfortable as the ones back home.

Still, despite the more strict regulations on immigrants, you find that managing the Arstotzkan boarder isn't really that different from managing the Equestrian border. Sure, several humans seemed to have a problem with you being a pony, but with the exception of a man who stormed out almost immediately, muttering various obscenities the whole time, they didn't give you any trouble.

Of course, the ponies that came through were happy to see you in the booth, and they didn't even try to blame you if there was something wrong with their entry papers.

That being said, you're still getting used to the fact that returning Arstotzkans have special guidelines for entry, even if the same was true for Equestrians back home. Plus, saying "Glory to Arstotzka" every time sounds just a little bit... you're not exactly sure what, but it doesn't seem right.

Still, you were hoof-picked by Celestia for this job, so you were going to perform it as well as you can.

Making sure that the family photo belonging to the previous inspector you found in here yesterday was still safely hidden (as the Arstotzkan director explained, personal items were not allowed in the booth), you levitate everything into their proper place, before placing a hoof on the loudspeaker button.

"Next!"

The first entrant is a young human male, who seems somewhat surprised by your presence.

"Papers, please."

Your voice shakes him out of his stupor, and he sets his documents down on the counter. You levitate them over to your desk, causing him to flinch back slightly. You pay little mind to him, however, as you look over his papers.

"What is your reason for traveling?" you ask, complying with the regulations set for you at this checkpoint.

"I am moving here."

Well, don't need to ask about length of stay, then. Issuing city matches, date of birth, weight, height...

Looks like this one's good to go. You stamp his passport, and send everything back to him. "Cause no trouble."

Wordlessly, he exits the booth.

"Next!"

A mare is the next immigrant, who gives a smile upon seeing you, which you return. "Papers, please."

She levitates her papers to you, which you accept in your own magic. As you look through them, she starts talking.

"I must say, it is a pleasant surprise to see another pony here."

You can't help but roll your eyes slightly. "Some of the humans seem to think otherwise." Right, Equestrians have unique entry permits... Part of you thinks it's discriminatory, but you also realize that there are indeed vast species differences at work here.

"Oh, don't pay them any mind, I'm sure they'll come around."

Putting the green stamp on the passport, you give everything back to her. "Cause no trouble."

"And you do the same!"

With that, she leaves. Nice to have some friendly faces here.

"Next!"

You find yourself falling into a rhythm for the next several entrants. Accept papers, check papers, stamp papers, then they'd leave through one of the booth doors, depending on how you stamped them.

After sending the latest one off, you call in the next one- an old-looking human woman.

"Papers, please."

She says nothing as she gives you her documents.

"What is the purpose of your stay?"

"Visiting family."

"Duration?"

"A week."

Okay, that matches up, and so does everything else in her-

Oh, wait a second.

"The passport says you are male."

"I know nothing of this."

Well, while you were personally happy to let them go on that, as a simple misprint on the document to laugh about, there was still the possibility of a faulty forgery, and as such, it needed to be verified. With this in mind, you press the button to prep the booth's camera, which also causes a curtain to fall around the woman.

"Please face the scanner."

You hear a brief ruffling of clothes, before the camera flashes twice. Clothes ruffle again, and the curtain rises, showing the woman standing there as she was before.

The pictures print out onto your desk, and you notice that, sure enough, that woman was actually a man all along. So nothing wrong-

Oh.

Oooooh.

What was that called, again? The name is on the tip of your tongue... something that the humans were pretty well known for...

Oh right.

That's a gun.

"Please wait here," you tell them, as you press the button to call the guards. The shutters drop and the alarm briefly goes off, while the man seems confused.

"What is this?"

The guards walk up, and call for the person to leave. Reluctantly, they do, and they're escorted towards the gulag.

Just when you're about to call in the next entrant, though, the horn signaling the end of the day goes off, and the line dissipates. Following this, you pack your own stuff up, before heading towards the nearby barracks.

A couple of the guards look your way as you walk, and you can barely overhear them talking about you. Thankfully, it wasn't anything bad, even if they still didn't quite trust you.

Oh well. Part of the reason you were here in the first place was to prove to the humans that ponies could be trusted, and vice versa. For a moment, you idly wonder how your counterpart is doing on the Equestrian border.

Eh, he's probably doing just fine.

Making your way to your bed, you cringe once you lay down on its uncomfortable surface.

Looks like yet another restless night in store for you.

Day Seven: Alternate Schedule

November 9, 1983

As you once again walk to your position, you can't help but think about how comfortable Equestrian beds are compared to the ones back home. You can't remember the last time you slept that well.

Because of that, you can't fight the small smile that brings its way to your face as you trudge through the snow. If you're not careful, the sheer positivity of this place might rub off on you, and you'll bring it back with you when you go home.

You're broken out of your thoughts, however, when you arrive at your booth. For some reason, one of the guards is already there, sitting in your position. He quickly spots you, and the confused expression you're wearing. "Morning. What're you doing here this early?"

You give him a look. "This is my position?"

The guard returns your puzzled look, before realization flashes in his eyes, and he gives out a short laugh. "Oh, did no one tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"You get one day off a week while working here in Equestria, minimum," he explained. "For you, that just so happens to be today."

...you don't know what to say. As long as you've worked on the Arstotzkan border, you've only gotten a very small handful of days off, and almost all of them were due to outside politics forcing the border closed for the day. Never have you simply been given the day off for no reason.

"But... what will I do all day?" you ask, both to yourself and to the guard.

He shrugs. "Go out and see the town, maybe? We've got a decent amount of tourist stuff to see."

Still unsure of yourself, you nod in agreement, before walking back the way you came. In the distance, you can hear the sound of the guard calling in the first one in line. It feels odd, hearing that call but not being the one behind it.

Well, you have all day to yourself, essentially. Surely you could find something to do, right?

Oh, right, you could go look for souvenirs to buy for your family when you return, including your son's birthday present. Plus, that one purple pony said she lived somewhere around here, didn't she...?

Grestin Checkpoint

You have to fight to keep the scowl off your face. As if the beds weren't bad enough, you were rudely awaken by one of the guards here after you apparently slept in a little too long. When you explained that today was your day off for the week, he just laughed, and said you should get to your post "before we both get in trouble."

The day was passing by much too slowly after that. This was the day you were supposed to sleep in a little, and maybe go out and see the local area, but nope, turns out that in Arstotzka, days off are just a myth.

"Next!"

Another pony enters the booth, and you notice their smile drop upon seeing your less-than-happy face. "Papers, please."

They comply, levitating her documents over until you accept them in your own magic. "Are you okay, sweetie? You don't look too well."

You just let out a sigh as you begin the familiar process of checking papers. "It turns out they don't have weekly days off, here."

The mare gasps as you double check the issuing city. "That's awful!"

You give a weak smile in return. "Don't worry, I'll be able to make it."

Once her passport is stamped, you return everything to the mare. "Cause no trouble."

She just nods sympathetically as she leaves.

"Next!"

And so, you fall into your routine, albeit with a shorter temper. Thankfully, no serious issues arise from it, and you process people just fine, apart from one human who was trying to smuggle in drugs.

Eventually, you see what you think is the first human you've seen smiling since you started working here, and though his smile drops upon seeing you, it isn't replaced with hostility like you would've expected. "Papers, please."

He complies, looking at you with mild confusion, if anything. "Where is the guy who's usually here?"

"We were chosen for an employee exchange program," you explain. This guy has your curiosity piqued now. He knew the other inspector?

"Huh, well I'm sure he'll be able to handle himself, then." Expiration date is fine, entry permit checks out... "You know, he really helped me out a year ago."

You tilt your head as you look up at him. "Really?"

"Yes. I was a guard stationed here, and, well, he saved my skin more than a few times. Plus, he helped me reunite with my wife."

"Really?" You found yourself slowing down in checking his papers; you always were a sucker for a good romance.

"Yep." He laughs. "We even named our son after him!"

"Is your wife with you now?"

"Yeah, she's right behind me in line."

You eventually ensure that everything is in order, and stamp approval on his passport. "Have a good stay!"

"And you do the same!"

With that, he leaves. That entire exchange almost made you feel better about not getting the day off.

Sure enough, his wife was right behind him, carrying a child in her arms. You had no idea how to judge age in humans, but he still looked quite young. "Papers, please."

"Certainly." The woman struggles to hand you her papers while still carrying the child, but she manages with a little help from your magic, and you start looking over her documents.

"You know, your husband told me about how the previous inspector helped you out," you say, eager to start conversation.

Her eyes brighten slightly. "Oh yes, he was a great help. We would not have been able to have little ______ here," she says, hugging her child closer, who giggles in response.

Who said humans couldn't be cute?

Your good mood is shattered as you notice something in her papers, however. "Uh... I'm so sorry, miss, but... this passport is, um, expired..."

Just as quickly, her own good mood vanishes. "What? Oh, but, I could've sworn..." You notice what might be tears forming in her eyes. "Please, miss, could you let us through anyway? I... understand it would be against regulation, but..."

You feel conflicted. On the one hand, making a mistake this early into the exchange program might reflect poorly on all of Equestria. On the other, only a monster would separate a family over something as trivial as this.

After a moment of thought, you make your decision, and you notice the woman flinch as the stamp hits home. You quickly bundle everything together and look her in the eyes as you give them back.

"Cause no trouble," you say, giving a wink.

"Oh, thank you so much!" she says, even bowing slightly as she puts her papers away, then quickly leaves to follow her husband into the country.

You're sure a single "mistake" on your record can be excused.

Your spirits are significantly boosted for the rest of the day, and every entrant after that passes through or is returned with no issue.

"Next!"

You were getting ready to process what would likely be the last person for the day, so you barely even looked up as you started your usual greeting. "Papers, pl-"

When you did look up, though, you were met with a human in a hood, who had their entire face covered. They quickly slipped a piece of paper towards you, before muttering, "The Order is watching," and slinking off the way he came just as the end-of-day horn blew.

Puzzled, you pick up the paper and see what it says.

We do not trust your kind, but this is a chance to change that.
Arstotzka is ruled by tyranny and injustice. You can help us fix this.
Further instructions will come later.

You can only tilt your head in confusion as you finish reading the note. Tyranny and injustice? Sure, they didn't give you a day off, and the standards for entry are much more strict, and...

...okay, maybe they have a point.

Still, why would they want you to help? You were just a border inspector. Not really an influential job, you don't think.

Slipping the note among your other personal items, you leave the booth and head back to the barracks.

Maybe you could try to get in contact with the other inspector, see what he thinks...

Ponyville Checkpoint

Well, today was well spent, you think. You picked up something for every member of your family back home, and you even got to indulge in a little bit of local food. While finding a flower in your sandwich was an unpleasant surprise, everything else was probably the best food you remember eating in a long time.

Unfortunately, that one purple princess was off somewhere else for some sort of business, but apparently she had friends all over town, as they were all quick to tell you her name was Twilight and that she was quite the celebrity around these parts.

As you get into bed, you suddenly realize that if you had the day off, it's likely your counterpart in Grestin did not, and you can't help but feel sorry for them. Hopefully, they're not getting into too much trouble over there.