Chelsea Dagger

by RIPTID3

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Romance
Length: 2438

The gang try and see who can get a coltfriend first.

After a small impromptu discussion about stallions, The gang try and see who can get a coltfriend first.

Cover pic by: Incinerater

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-03 17:20:02 UTC

Prologue

The sun was shining bright, just like it was supposed to every other average day, only a small group of clouds hung above the town, providing little to no cover from the heat. The ponied who resided in the town had either gotten accustomed to it or simply already enjoyed it right from the start, most normal citizens who inhabited Ponyville were most probably working, making a living and trying to earn their pay. Work in Ponyville was light, but citizens would usually spend at least half a day working stalls or running restaurants and cafes.

But most normal citizens don't bear the Elements of Harmony now do they?

Just outside the city, was a tranquil piece of untouched land, far enough away from the town to relax and have a good time. To get away from the hustle and bustle of the town. Granted, the town was already rather peaceful as it is, the locals were usually friendly, the town was clean and safe, but nothing can replace the feeling of being outside with wildlife surrounding you, it was definitely a better piece of scenery as as opposed to the dull boring walls of a building.

The six bearers of Harmony, certainly agreed.

      "It's so nice of Spike to decided to handle the library himself today. It feels great to finally get a chance to get outside and stretch my legs. Sure beats being stuck in the library at least." Twilight Sparkle said.

      "Well, ah sure can't argue with that. It's nice to get some off days once in a while." Applejack said

      "Don't you get to go outside, like, everyday?" Rainbow Dash asked

      "Sure ah do. But most o' the time Ah'm busy harvestin' apples." The farmpony replied.

      "Don't you ever do anything else besides harvest apples?" The pegasus inquired.

      "Ah sell apples an' run the stall in town if that counts." Applejack answered.

      "No, like, do you ever get to go out? And hang out with friends? Like, other than us? Maybe a coltfriend?"

Rainbow Dash asked.

      "Ooh are we going to talk about stallions now?" Rarity chimed in

      "Naw. Ah don't think ah got the time for that sorta stuff." Applejack replied.

      "Shoulda known. No offense, but you probably wouldn't be able to get a coltfriend anyways." Rainbow Dash said, a smug look on her face.

      "Just because ah work all the time and spend the day in the farm don't mean ah can't get a coltfriend. Matter o' fact, ah think YOU'RE the one who's gonna have trouble finding a stallion." Applejack replied defiantly.

      "Now girls, let's calm down for a-" Twilight said.

      "What're you talking about? You won't believe the amount of stallions giving me looks when I'm flying. I mean, I guess I should've seen it coming. I mean, I am pretty awesome." Rainbow Dash said, cutting Twilight's sentence short.

      "Really, I would have expected stallions to prefer a mare with a little more sophistication at least." Rarity interjected.

      "What's that supposed to mean?!" Rainbow Dash and Applejack both exclaimed in unison.

      "No offense, neither is that an insult, but I think that a mare with class such as myself is much more likely to establish a relationship with a stallion." Rarity said

      "No way. Stallions like to get outside, they're supposed to be wild and they're rarely ever "tame". They don't want to be tied down by your "sophistication". You've got about as much of a chance as Twilight does." Rainbow Dash said

      "Excuse me?" Twilight said with a raised eyebrow.

      "No offense Twilight, but you're cooped up in the library so often that it's hard to imagine you mingling and romancing a bit with a stallion." Rarity replied.

      "Hello? I'm Celestia's prized pupil! She sent me here to learn about friendship! Surely wowing a stallion can't be too different from making a new friend." Twilight said.

      "Ooh, making friends? Do we have a new friend? Are we gonna make a new friend? Where is she? Is it even a-" Pinkie Pie said before getting a hoof to the mouth from Twilight.

      "Sort of. We're talking about coltfriends." Rainbow Dash said.

      "Ooh, I've never had a coltfriend before!" Pinkie Pie

      "Neither does Applejack." Rainbow Dash said smugly.

      "Well, ah don't see you hangin' 'round a stallion anytime soon either." Applejack retorted.

      "Please, a mare is supposed to be sophisticated and classy. We need to have balance after all, we can't have too much masculinity in a relationship now can we?" Rarity said.

      "This is ridiculous." Twilight said

      "Ooh girls, I have an idea for a game!" Pinkie Pie suddenly exclaimed.

The five mares diverted their attention away from each other and to their pink friend. Even Fluttershy whom had been quiet for the majority of the outing was looking up from her tea and at Pinkie Pie.

      "Why don't we see who can get a coltfriend first?" Pinkie Pie said.

      "That is even more ridiculous." Twilight said.

      "Count me in!" Rainbow Dash said.

      "Ah might as well." Applejack said, adjusting her hat.

      "If you won't believe my words, fine. Actions speak louder than words after all. I shall join." Rarity said, flipping her curled mane.

      "You can't be serious. You just can't be. You'll start arguing and the next thing you know you're tearing each other apart!" Twilight sighed.

      "C'mon Twilight. Games help friends bond!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

      "... Fine. I'll play." Twilight said.

      "Fluttershy? You in?" Rainbow Dash asked.

The yellow pegasus whom had only continued sipping her cup of tea now looked up from her teacup and gazed at her friends, all of their eyes were focused on her and her alone.

      "Actually-" Fluttershy began.

      "Yea she's in." Rainbow Dash said, cutting off Fluttershy's sentence.

      "Alllllriiiiiight!" Pinkie Pie said, accompanied by a little jump into the air.

      "But girls-" Fluttershy tried to say.

      "I'll be sure to let you all know how awesome my coltfriend is." Rainbow Dash said, her voice was clearly filled with confidence.

      "If you git one that is." Applejack snickered.

      "Let the gameeeeeeeeesssss BEGIN!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Chapter 1

You're Barely Joyous, Broken Thing

*Slam* The door went as Rainbow Dash walked over to her bed of clouds and promptly flopped onto it like a ragdoll. She buried her face into her pillow and let out a groan. Sure she had seemed confident in front of her friends, arrogant even, but that didn't mean she didn't have a glitch in her plan. Getting a stallion was easy, she'd always caught stallions oogling her from time to time, the problem now wasn't IF she could get a stallion

It was WHICH stallion she wanted.

All of the folks in Ponyville were, simply put, too slow and mild. She needed somepony who was fast, wild, and just as, if not even more confident in his own skills than she was. She needed somepony who could keep up with her and didn't mind getting sweaty and dirty once in awhile, somepony that was just as awesome and bodacious as she was, a stallion that could wow the crowds just like her. Rainbow Dash lifted her face off her cloud pillow and breathed a sigh of frustration.

      "How am I gonna find a coltfriend? There's literally NO ONE in ponyville that sounds even remotely like what I have in mind!"

Rainbow Dash lowered her head once more, this time, resting her chin on top of the pillow instead of trying to suffocate herself. She flipped herself over and onto her back, where she proceeded to rest her head atop her forelegs, her mind running off every single possible candidate for a coltfriend.

      "Hm, there's Thunderlane. He's kinda what I have in mind. Fast, not as fast as me, but still fast. He looks like he likes to show off. But I think he's dating Cloudchaser. Snowflake? Nope. Not even going there. Hmm, what about Prism Strider? He kinda looks like me, I like that, but does he behave like me? Hmm, I'll just put him down as a possible candidate."

Rainbow Dash ran off the rest of her options and came out with only two possible candidates, Spectrum and Prism Strider. And they only borderline pass her little test, she wasn't even sure about their attitudes and mindsets. She didn't have time to take them out on a date, she needed a coltfriend as soon as possible.

      "Where am I gonna find the perfect colt for me?" She said, her ears drooping, she shut her eyes and layed motionless for almost a minute or two, little to no sound was elicited during this period of time. Just as the pegasus was about to fall asleep for the sake of falling asleep, the sound of wind blowing against paper filled the room, the paper flopping around definitely did a rather good job at attracting attention as Rainbow Dash found herself immediately locking her eyes onto said paper.

Just as she was about to get out of bed, the paper flew off the wall and slowly glided down right in front of her, she reached her foreleg out and picked up the poster, it was an advertisement for the Wonderbolts, they were going on a tour throughout Equestria, only part of the team was on tour though.

      "Huh, maybe I can go there and find a stallion who likes the Wonderbolts just like me. Who knows? Maybe he'll be awesome as well." she said to herself in an attempt to fill herself with hope. Not every Wonderbolt fan was a speedfreak, but the chances of her finding a colt there would have been much better than her chances in Ponyville.

Just as Rainbow Dash was browsing through the lost of Wonderbolts who would be appearing at the event, she knew most of them, Fleetfoot, Blaze, Firestreak, she was familiar with almost all of them. As she continued to read off the list of Wonderbolts attending the event, she stumbled across one name in particular that caught her attention.

Soarin'.

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened as a plan almost immediately started putting itself together in her mind, why date a Wonderbolt fan when you can date an actual Wonderbolt? She had already kind of made herself know by hanging out with them at the Gala, granted the supposed "hanging out" was a disaster, but how could he not notice her? Surely having the ability to perform the Sonic Rainboom had to mean something to him.

      "That's it! I've just found my coltfriend!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

Glancing at the date and time, Rainbow Dash had just over two days until they arrived in Ponyville. They were staying for a total of a week, more than enough time for Rainbow Dash to catch Soarin's attention.

...

Apples big, red, juicy apples, a group of them just falling from the tree which they were created from. One by one, they filled up the basket that was positioned underneath them. As the baskets were filled, almost overflowing with apples, Applejack took her hat off for a second to wipe the sweat that was flowing down her forehead, the farm mare had gotten rather accustomed to the hard physical work on the farm, and she was usually very relaxed while harvesting the apples. Today was no different.

Sure, ah gotta look for a coltfriend, can't run the risk of losing to Rainbow can ah? She'd never let me hear the end of it! But, that ain't no reason to fret during work. Lil' games and silly challenges best be dealt with after work.

As Applejack moved on to the next area of the unharvested field, she was rather surprised at seeing the amount of already harvested trees. She doubted that it was Big Mac, he was harvesting the far side of the field, he couldn't possibly have come bucking the trees on this side lest he had finished his share of work. A fact that the orange farm pony found hard to believe.

Applejack continued looking past tree after tree, all of them harvested with baskets of apples by their roots, all filled with ripe apples, it seemed that Applejack's work was done.

      "Huh. Time sure flies when yer' enjoyin' yerself ah guess." Applejack said to herself.

As Applejack turned around to head back to the house, she found herself bumping into somepony, it was most presumably a stallion judging from his build, the pony wore a brown vest that covered some of his yellow-ish fur. Upon glancing up at gazing at the stallion's face, she noticed that he wore a stetson hat, just like her's, but his was a darker shade of brown, underneath the hat was a golden orange-ish mane.

      "Howdy there cousin." Braeburn greeted.

      "Braeburn? What're you doin' here?" Applejack asked.

      "Aw, nothin' Decided to take a lil' vacation and come lend a hoof."

      "Why, that's mighty kind of ya'."

Just as Braeburn was about to respond, Rainbow Dash swooped by, she promptly backed up, glanced at Braeburn, then back at Applejack, then once more at Braeburn.

      "You're dating your cousin? Ew." The pegasus said before flying off again.

      "Galldarnit Rainbow." Applejack said.

      "What's the matter? She's just jokin' is all." Braeburn said.

      "Sure, but it's just that she's challenged me to a bit of a game. And ah can't let her win. Otherwise her ego'll be too big for Equestria to handle." Applejack joked

      "What sorta game?"

      "Aw it's nothin'. Just a lil' competition to see who can git a coltfriend first."

      "Aw that's easy. Don't y'all have a bar 'round here?"

      "Braeburn, ah don't think drinkin'll help me git over losing."

      "No 'cous, that's not what ah'm tryin' to say. What ah'm sayin' is, tons o' stallions usually go over to bars to hang out, maybe even pick up mares once in a while. They're perfect places to go lookin' for a coltfriend."

      "But there aren't to many stallions 'round these parts."

      "Wasn't there gonna be some event comin' up? The Wonderbolts were comin' to town if I ain't mistaken. There'll be tons of ponies coming over from other cities just to meet them!"

      "Ah never thought o' that. Anyways, I reckon we oughta get back to work.

      "Ah'll handle the rest o' the trees. Why don't you take the rest o' the day off? I think ah'll try mah hoof at runnin' the stall as well."

      "Thanks a lot Braeburn, but ah think ah'll tag along with ya'."

      "What? Don't trust me?"

      "Well, there's nothin' to do at home anyways. Big Mac's probably looking for work himself. Plus, ah might meet a nice stallion in the process." Applejack said jokingly.