Chapters It was a remarkably average day in Ponyville. The time would be around one month after Twilight Sparkle became an alicorn, and ultimately, a princess. Everything seemed disorganized for the surprisingly unprepared pony. Even Spike and Owlowiscious had trouble and occasionally spent entire days trying to work something out- it just wasn't working. Naturally they were all very stressed and couldn't get much done. Their eating and sleeping habits went wild, and all the other downsides to constant stress affected everything they did. Focusing was difficult. Regal duties neglected, often, and occasionally altogether forgotten. Everything was amiss for the brand new Princess Twilight Sparkle.
In a hidden house inside the Everfree Forest sat a stallion that knew exactly what he was doing. All of his preparations seemed in order, all of his scenarios played out inside his head. Nothing could go wrong. This would be the second time he had ever spoken to that intimidating and awesome mare. He had an amazing respect for her, growing up surrounded by stories and legends. It was his time to join the legends himself.
Chaos, as had become usual in the large tree-library, was rampant. Spike was reading off of a calendar and many other scattered papers, with Owlowiscious writing down each and every insignificant and significant detail down on to a schedule. Twilight herself was attempting to organize her library from scratch, only taking out every book related to princesses and history that the library held. Her collection had grown due to the various gifts and purchases she had gained over the past month, which were quite a few, knowing her new status.
She had no time for friends, and sometimes even meals. Sleep was rare, and not very useful. Anything besides organization was alien to her. Suddenly, a knock at the door was heard. It sounded almost hesitant; afraid, even. Twilight straightened out her mane best she could, expecting some sort of royal visitor, or message. What she found behind the door was nothing of the sort.
A somewhat taller than average stallion stood before her. He had light brown skin, similar to a dusty leather book cover. He wore spectacles, that she assumed were to make up for poor vision, but she could never be sure. He had a very messy, curly dark brown mane and tail, and surprisingly long eyelashes, especially for a stallion. He was very skinny, but did not seem unfit. In fact, he seemed fitter than the average pony, especially for looking somewhat bookish. He had a dual saddlebag that was incredibly neat and organized, filled to the brim with various papers and folders. His cutie mark was that of a quill and a tome, indicating that he was some sort of writer. It was very hard to tell, but Twilight could make out a small bump in his rugged mane that indicated the writer pony to be a unicorn. His surprising appearance did not match his tone of voice at all. It sounded deep, and also somewhat nervous.
He spoke after bowing low; “Excuse me, are you Ms. Sparkle? Or should I say, Ms. Princess Sparkle? No, that sounds bad... sorry.” He started out confident and incredibly respectful, but quickly changed to shy and embarrassed. She didn't know if she could speak to anypony anymore, her lack of use of vocal cord made her voice sound... slightly hoarse.
“Why ye- *cough cough *” she cleared her throat “Why yes, I am. And just Twilight is fine, thank you. Not to be rude, but what do you want? I’m a little bit busy.” He regained his composure quickly.
“Well, Ms. Twilight, I have come to- please, hear me out- apply for a job. I wish to serve our newest Princess as her scribe and adviser. I desire no pay, and would be willing to work any day, anytime, at anyplace. I can do anything related to books, paper, or magic. If you need a resumé of any sort, I am a world famous author. I go under an alias so any recognition is purely coincidental, I assure you. So, what do you say, Ms. Twilight?” She was shocked. The unicorn expected this. “Also, I can help you with organization, if you wish it.” He added with a swift, artful wink. The Princess finally regained her faux-calm and responded:
“Give me some time to think about it.” and shut the door on him.
About half an hour later, by Swiftpen Escrib’s incredibly accurate watch that he wore at all times, the door to the library was reopened by Spike, and given a motion to come in. An impromptu interview room had been set up inside the basement of the library. It was simply a desk with a chair on both sides with a small path cleared amid the chaos to it. One of the chairs was filled by Twilight, who seemed semi-prepared for the “interview”. Swiftpen went ahead and sat down in the chair opposite the Princess, expecting something this orderly from her.
“Now, shall we begin? What is your age, race, name, and date of birth?” He responded with surprising swiftness;
“20. Unicorn. Swiftpen Escrib. April 27th. My author's alias is CJ, I have written 25 bestselling novels and theorems, and I am in no relationships with anypony. Anything else?” Twilight was shocked. She did not like being shocked so often by one pony.
“THE CJ? You wrote that one romance novel that I and my friends loved so much. What was it... Aha! “The Letter From a Million Years Ago”! What a thrilling tale.” It was Swiftpen’s turn to be surprised.
“Wow, Ms. Twilight, I had no idea you were into such novels. I expected more of a love for my theorems, especially the ones on magic... I’m so pleased that you liked it!” His voice quickly changed from the chivalrous tone that he expressed earlier to an almost exhilarated schoolpony. His voice raised pitch a slight amount, making it almost somewhat not deep and slightly humorous. He completely kept his respectful way of speaking, though. Twilight couldn't help but smile at the strange pony’s giddiness. He then, startlingly, went back into serious-mode and stated;
“Please, do not tell anyone of my identity that is not a trustworthy close friend of yours. If word got out I would be swamped. Simply swamped, I tell you!” He got a little frustrated towards the end. Speaking from experience, she assumed.
“Well, Mr. Escrib,” (His respectful way of using titles had strangely caught on) “ I can assure you that you are fully qualified and wanted as my assistant and scribe. But, we have other things to work out. Such as- where do you reside? Being close by would be a great help to me, and I could probably accommodate you if need be. Also, you would be practically dedicating your life to me, as I am in great need of help such as yours. I could use you for advertisement, dealing with the media, helping stomp out rumors, and other political annoyances. This may take up almost all of your time. Are you really willing to do this?” The authorpony held a proud smile across his face.
“Trust me, I do not need time. My family is content, I am practically rich, I can still write in my spare time, for it is my passion, and I would love to help you, the greatest Princess of our time. I currently reside in a small hidden house in the outskirts of the Everfree, and timing should never be an issue. I pride myself on being a punctual pony. And trust me, all of those things should be a cinch for me. I have written entire novels, I can organize record-breakingly fast, and I have dealt with many media and popularity issues in the past. Also, this may sound very selfish, and I am quite sorry, but perhaps I could make a few friends along the way. I've never really had any friends, you see, I am quite shy.” He again went into his submissive and meek voice near the end, but apart from that, was very generally confident, proud, and above all respectful. He managed to look good without seeming to brag. Twilight was sure that he would be a real help to her, and that she could even help him out with some of his issues. Helping him make friends should be no problem for her, considering her past studies and experience.
Suddenly gaining a regal tone, she spoke; “Mr. Swiftpen Escrib, better known as the author pony CJ, you are officially hired as my, Princess Twilight Sparkle’s, scribe, organizer, media pony, and assistant.”
He suddenly bowed very low and uttered the words “Thank you.” in a tone unheard to Twilight before this instant. It was both incredibly reverent of the princess and also eternally grateful. When Swiftpen rose, he had a grand smile across his face.
Suddenly, he exclaimed- “Let me get my tools!” and galloped out, almost tripping around 4 times, but still managing to do some impressive hoofwork. Twilight thought to herself; Thank Celestia, someone to help with this mess! And he isn't a complete weirdo!... that I know of. She expectantly awaited her new assistant’s arrival.
The Princess explained the situation to Spike, who seemed somewhat jealous, but quickly got over it (perhaps remembering the last incident), and was very appreciative of the incoming unpaid help. Twilight felt like cleaning up in anticipation of their newest perhaps-common guest, but then realized how stupid that was and quickly stomped away the notion.
He returned as swiftly as he exited, with a large saddlebag filled way to the brim with various... everythings. She couldn't make out any of it, for the stallion was simply too quick and skilled. He was obviously used to carrying heavy loads, perhaps of books or writing utensils, Twilight wondered. He stopped right in front of the princess, bowed low (with skill), and asked, willing and prepared for anything;
“What do you need first from me, Miss?” She was startled, she never had a “servant” per se, especially not one that was so respectful, so chivalrous and glad to help out.
“Well, uhm...the things I need to do are... first of all, I want every single book on princesses and the history of Equestria pulled out of the books, with every other book organized perfectly in alphabetical order, all on the shelves. Then I need schedules for every week for the next month, including every single thing I must do every single day. This includes; meals, meetings, appearances, events, free time, study time, sleep time, preparation time, and of course, time to write schedules for the next month. These will need to be incredibly editable and fluctuatable, as my job as princess is never very predictable. I would also like to know your schedule, in case you do have some things you must do. I will not allow you to work on a day you do not have to. Next, I need every loose paper in the library to be neatly organized, alphabetized, in simple categories of your choosing. This can be done with your supplies or with things within the library. That is all for now.”
She took many deep breaths in between her sentences. She assumed that the pony was listening, and looked up to see two exact copies of what she had just said organized into a to-do list, one given to Twilight, and one kept with Swiftpen. He then quickly rushed to work, completing his tasks with surprising ease. The whole chore session took him around 4 hours, given the sheer amount of books and loose leaves strewn about the library- but it was definitely a lot shorter than the time it would've taken Twilight. He had somehow also written easily editable and simple, yet incredible informative, schedules for the next 2 months, having one schedule for each week. The library was completely clean.
During the impressive escapade, Twilight, Spike, and Owlowiscious, had all gone out for some relaxation and, gladly, timely meals. They returned around 6:00 pm from a group dinner at a nice restaurant, to find that the place was incredibly orderly and incredibly presentable. Twilight almost didn't want to disturb the glorious beauty of the place. Swiftpen was sitting at a desk writing intently with his brown-aura magic.
“Oh, welcome back Ms. Twilight. How do you like your library? You may take a look in the other rooms, if you please.” She did, awestruck. Everything was perfectly neat. The papers were arranged, alphabetically, (she checked) into simple cabinets and drawers each with their own category. Even the rest of the library was neat and clean, almost as if the assistant got bored and decided to clean up. She returned to the ground floor.
“It’s... wonderful! Thank you, Swiftpen!” He grinned and blushed with conflicting emotion.
“I... erm.. can assure you that this isn't even my finest work! I can do better for you, Ms. Twilight! All you need to do is ask. Now, I believe my work is done for the day. May I leave, milady?” She didn't really care if he could do better. This was fine, in her mind.
“Why yes, yes you can. Please, arrive here tomorrow around noon. Without all the tools, preferably.” He looked confused, but quickly regained his giddy grin.
“Of course, Ms. Twilight! Good night.” He spoke with enthusiasm, and then packed up swiftly, and trotted out. They were both pleased with the fact that they could rest easy tonight.
Swiftpen awoke and looked at his watch. It was 7:00 am, his usual awakening time. He had 5 hours until his... whatever it was with the Princess, and had absolutely nothing to do until then. He simply could not focus on writing in the morning, and organization was unnecessary. His house was beautiful chaos. He decided to take a quick stroll through the Everfree, and perhaps meet up with Zecora for some morning tea, as he had done many times before.
Zecora was one of the few who knew his secret, though he had no idea if the zebra believed him or not. Knowing her calm and friendly nature, she probably did. He was saddened to find that she was absent from her hut, and started to walk towards Ponyville. Perhaps, for once, he would go into the town and purchase some coffee. Or even still some tea, as he was quite accustomed to the leafy taste of natural tea, though he had never tried any at Ponyville yet. In fact, he had almost never been inside Ponyville at all, despite trips during his “younger” years.
All the better , he supposed. Paradoxes are rough to avoid. Anyway, he finally set his sights on a small little café near the edge of town. It seemed very clean and calm, some of the only patrons being the early risers and early workers, the latter being very groggy and attempting to wake up through some espresso. He ordered a small glass of tea, that, coffee, and water being the only beverages the place sold. The worker seemed slightly surprised, being as the pony had not been in town often before, but did not hesitate in fetching a glass of boiling water and a teabag for the customer. He was even more surprised at the brown magical aura he saw after being paid and thanked by the mysterious stallion, who was also apparently a unicorn pony. He sat and enjoyed the tea for an hour or so, then slowly rose and left the nice café.
He mentally promised to go back once in awhile, it was a quality establishment by his standards. He checked the time and found it to be around 9:00 am, longer than he expected to stay at the building. He had no qualms, though, as he still had 3 hours to kill. He decided to take a walk throughout the small town. He wanted to relax, but he was always quite terrible at that, being a nervous and twitchy unicorn pony despite his hardy yet bookish look.
The city was quite beautiful, much nicer than his hometown of Canterlot. He enjoyed simplicity, and Ponyville gave him that and so much more. There was a market, scattered stores and stands, and a surprising amount of bustle. Ponies were everywhere. Selling, buying, simply mingling and conversing. Everyone knew everyone. It was nice, and peaceful. Swiftpen was never approached or talked to, besides various greetings from various ponies. Everyone was obviously friendly, but also slightly nonchalant towards new visitors. Swiftpen felt regret for not being very outgoing throughout his life. He never really made many friends, and made quite a few enemies. Arguments were common in conversations between him and any other pony, which was a main factor in his seclusion in the Everfree.
Finally, after much “relaxing”, it was 11:30 p.m. on a beautiful sunny Saturday. Swiftpen couldn't help but feel excited towards his first day at his “job”. It was a field he was excellent in, as he tried to show the Princess just yesterday. He hoped that she had lots of work for him, as he had been inactive for too long and needed to stretch his mind a bit. He knocked on the door of the Golden Oak Library, which was flung open by a hyper pink pony that seemed ready to explode.
“Oh! Hey! Look! He’s here! You’re early! Come in!” He was quickly dragged in by the excitable mare, only to be greeted by Twilight Sparkle, and the rest of her main circle of friends. A sporty rainbow-maned blue pony, a glamorous purple-maned white pony, a fit but somewhat dirty yellow-maned orange pony donning a cowpony hat, the hyper pink curly-maned pony, a shy-looking pink-maned yellow pony (with various animals with her), and finally Twilight herself. She looked very pleased with herself, especially when she saw Swiftpen’s amazed face.
“Welcome back, Swiftpen! These are my friends. We’re all going on a picnic today.” Swiftpen was ultimately bewildered and shocked.
“But.. what... what about work?!”
“Oh, don’t be silly. After that amazing job yesterday you left me and yourself nothing to do for the next week! I figured all of my friends could meet you and we could relax. They sure would be glad to meet one of their favorite authors in person!” She was right, they all seemed quite excited. Swiftpen had met fans before, but having fans that were the Princess’ close friends was just... amazing, on such a different level. He started smiling like an idiot.
“Let’s go!” Twilight exclaimed.
They had all set up the picnic on a simple grasslands within the Apple Family’s land. They had as much space as they wanted, and there was no lack of food. Everyone contributed, as usual, though Swiftpen was amazed by the easy and quick trust between the friends. They begun eating, it was time to meet all of them. The orange mare introduced herself first.
“Why hello there CJ- or should I say Swiftpen. Pleased to meet’cha at last. My name’s Applejack.” Swiftpen was not surprised at the pony’s friendliness, they were Twilight’s friends after all.
“The pleasure is likewise, Ms. Apple. It’s always nice to meet a fan, and a close friend of the princess nonetheless.” He gave a casual hoofshake that he was accustomed to from his work line. Friendly, yet official. Next was the elegant white unicorn. She wore a few accessories, obviously being some sort of fashionista.
“Hello, CJ! I really do love your books, you know. I've read every romance novel you've written. I, am Rarity.” She almost seemed to be bragging.
“Very glad to meet a romance fan. I have always been an adamant romantic. I’m sure we have much to talk about on the topic, Ms. Rarity!” Another casual and friendly hoofshake. Next was the hyperactive pink mare.
“Hiiiiii!!! I’m Pinkie Pie. Your books are preeeetty good! I've caught aaaaall my friends reading them once or twice over. Greaaat books! Ooh, you’re new in town, right? We have to have a PARTY!! I’ll start preparing it RIGHT after this picnic!” Swiftpen felt somewhat embarrassed. He almost didn't want the party, but the pink pony was quite convincing.
“Erm… of course! Just don’t forget that my identity is secret, okay? Pleased to meet you, Ms. Pie.” He didn't even try to offer a hoofshake. Pinkie had seemed to get distracted from him halfway through his sentence. Next, the sporty blue pegasus. She was incredibly quick, and startled Swiftpen when she first landed from the sky right in front of him after Pinkie walked away.
“Hey, I’m Rainbow Dash. I really liked your book about the Wonderbolts! I’d love to hear about how you learned all that stuff about ‘em. I’m the best flier in Equestria, y’know, and I’ll be part of them one of these days. Anyway, seeya round.” She was gone as fast as she appeared. She managed to speak a lot in the small time she had. Last but not least, the yellow, shy pegasus. She did not approach him until Twilight apparently managed to convince her.
“um, hi” She spoke, incredibly quietly.
“Don’t worry, he’s perfectly fine. Speak up!” Twilight egged her on.
“I really like your books. Especially the one on the talking animals. It’s great…” She got quieter as she went on, but Swiftpen was used to quiet people, and understood her well.
“I’m glad you liked it. I haven’t met many people who favored that one. You must have a particular fondness for animals. I respect that.” She looked incredibly embarrassed and bashful, but smiled a bit in spite of herself. She trotted away quietly. Twilight gave an apologetic smile.
“She’s Fluttershy. You can see she’s a bit, er, shy. She absolutely loves animals, and really enjoys your books.” After meeting all of the ponies, and eventually Spike, who was at first skeptical but then quite fond of the stallion, the picnic went on as you would assume a picnic between friends would. Stories, gossip, and laughs were shared as time went on. It went on all day, and once it got dark Twilight used her magic to start a fire. They talked and enjoyed themselves late into the night, until at last they all departed back to their homes. Swiftpen decided that he would walk the Princess home, as he felt it was the chivalrous thing to do. After some time of quiet walking, she spoke up.
“You know, all of my friends warmed up quite quickly to you, even if you couldn't notice. I don't meet stallions like you often, you know. Perhaps you don’t even need my help to make friends.” She spoke those words and then realized that they were at the library.
“Good night, Ms. Twilight. Shall I be here at the same time tomorrow?”
“I don’t see why not, though don’t expect me to put you to work!” They shared a laugh, and went their separate ways.
Pinkie Pie knew that the mostly-serious side of Swiftpen that she saw was not his only side. She figured that she could bring out the other side, through, her answer to everything, a PARTY. She started the preparations early the next morning.
Rarity quite liked the messy-maned stallion. He was very neat, organized, classy, and a romantic to boot. She figured that getting to know him better would be one of her goals during the upcoming months.
Rainbow Dash was very respectful of the author pony, seeing as he actually managed to score an audience with the Wonderbolts without actually having any athletic talent. She wanted to know his secrets, badly, as she felt she was destined to be a member herself.
The Princess Twilight Sparkle assumed that there was a reason to him having few friends. She looked through many personality analyzation books during the night, and found some clues as to why.
Applejack saw that the writer stallion knew the worth of some good hard work, even though it wasn't near as physical as what she did. She definitely respected him, and enjoyed his books. Perhaps she could get some hints on focus from him.
Fluttershy was honestly one of the largest fans of the stallion’s books, despite never showing any interest in romance to her friends. Twilight, being the town’s librarian, saw this, and smiled to herself. Fluttershy was obviously quite intimidated by the famous pony, even though his actions have proved that he is no unfriendly pony. This did not help that she was naturally shy and intimidated by almost anyone or anything new. She wished that she could befriend the author, but would most likely not get the chance unless pushed by one of her friends.
Around half an hour after Rarity had returned home, she heard a knock at the door. She opened it only to find a simple note-
Rarity,
I need a suit made for me. It needs to be finished around noon on Sunday (tomorrow). Needs to be as discreet as possible. I will pay well, and I guarantee I will get you plenty of publicity. Make it however you see fit. Measurements are on the back. I will be here around 12:30 pm. Thank you. - CJ
The letter was obviously not faked, the hoofwriting was incredibly well-done and unicorn-made. The measurements were indeed written on the back, and seemed to match Swiftpen perfectly. She really had no idea why he needed this, but she was glad to receive publicity and coin from a famous pony. Also, she was glad to help out. She figured that she’d start straightaway and sleep in. Thinking was easier for her at night.
Pinkie was downcast, Twilight had visited her to notify her that Swiftpen could not do anything today. She had it prepared and everything. She got over it quickly, figuring that she could just do it the next night, though a Monday night party was slightly odd. Pinkie didn't care. The party couldn't wait any longer.
Swiftpen Escrib returned from his book signing and publicity event at around 11:45 pm. His agent had promised him that he’d be back well before midnight. Ha, she was never wrong.
He definitely didn't forget to credit Rarity at the event, and was certain that she would be absolutely busy and pleased the next day. He did not regret it, the suit was surprisingly dashing and matched him quite well. The price was incredibly reasonable, though he didn't care much for coin. He was rich, after all, though material possessions were mostly useless to him. He had honestly not had much time to think about all of his new friends, and would probably spend most of the next morning considering his options and how to go about befriending them all even more. He really was quite new to the whole friendship deal, despite having had one friend a “long time ago”, even though with all technicality it was in the future, not in the past. He wondered about his long lost friend, Nym. He hoped to meet back up with him someday, despite their age differences. Nym was so hopeful, so optimistic.. for Swiftpen. He had quite low self-esteem, though, and it saddened Swiftpen. He figured it was not the time to drag on the past.. future.. whatever, and slumped on his bed, prepared for whatever sleep that came. It was a surprisingly enjoyable, dream-filled rest.
He woke up and realized that it was a Monday. He got up and headed straight for Ponyville, as he had something he needed to get back in the habit of- buying a newspaper. He used to do this every weekday morning, but eventually fell out of the habit. He brought with him 10 bits, which he knew was much more than enough, but didn't really care anyway. He bought the newspaper from a stand within the city, and then returned to the café for coffee. He had a plan set up for the next week, as he knew that work was not an option. He needed to be as awake as possible. He skimmed through the newspaper, reading small stories within the small town, until finally coming upon what he was really looking for.
An article on CJ’s most recent book signing/publicity event. One highlight of the event was his choice of clothing- a spectacularly made suit that matched him perfectly. Rarity was credited, and Swiftpen was truly glad that she was mentioned. She would get plenty of business from it, especially since a famous author praised her work. After a while, around noon, he reported to Twilight’s library and told her about his plan. She wasn't surprised at the stallion’s organization, as that was one of the reasons why she hired him.
She said the plan seemed… a little odd, but could work. His plan was as such- to further befriend the mares he had recently met, he would spend one day with each of them.
“I know it seems a mite unorthodox and perhaps a little forced, but this is how I know best to do things. Methodical and organized. Please, Ms. Twilight, meet with your friends and discuss my ‘plan’. All things considered, it should start tomorrow and I shall not waste any of your friends’ time.” She agreed after some careful consideration. She knew of her friends’ interest in the author, and honestly was feigning disinterest herself right then.
“I’ll meet up with them later today. You are dismissed.” Swiftpen couldn't resist bowing before he left to his home.
He returned to the Princess’s library around 3 hours later to see that all the other mares had left. They had apparently worked everything out.
“Alright, we have an order and everything. Tomorrow, the plan will start with Fluttershy. Then Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity, and finally, me. And tonight you will report to Sugar Cube Corner at 6:00 pm.” He wondered what Twilight could possibly want him there for, but nodded his head curtly anyway. He really didn't care what the order was, but he wrote it down anyway. He had plans. He wanted to surprise the ponies, and that’s exactly what he was going to do. He was prepared for anything.
5. Unprepared (But Satisfied)
He went to Sugar Cube Corner to find it pitch-black. Which was odd, considering that it wasn't even that late and there was almost always somepony there. He opened the door and stepped in, only to be greeted by… everyone. The lights turned on, and revealed to Swiftpen a large party. It looked a lot bigger than it actually was, as the store was not very big. It looked excellent, though, and whoever made it put a lot of time and effort into it.
The party was to welcome Swiftpen as the Princess’s scribe, and to the town in general. Even though he already knew the town, he was really glad that everypony wanted to welcome him. The party was great. He went over to Pinkie, who was, as usual, partying the hardest of them all. He wanted to thank her, but couldn't resist the inviting pull of dancing and being generically silly, so he joined in with the crazy partiers.
It was a tiring, but absolutely amazing time. Vinyl Scratch was, of course, covering the music. She never missed out on a chance to play some tracks. Even the food was great. It was completely made up of very unhealthy pastries and sugary punch of varying colors. Every once in awhile when Swiftpen got tired he would go over, shove 2 cupcakes in his mouth, and chug a cup of pink punch, for he found that that was the best tasting flavor.
Around midnight, many ponies had left, but a lot of them were still rockin’ it on the dance floor. He just couldn't tear away from it. It was too fun, there was no reason to stop. Ponies had honestly started collapsing, most leaving after they arose.. Talent was not needed. There was no competition, no pony was better than another. It was just, do whatever you want. If you enjoyed it, you did it. Any judgement was gone from a pony’s observation the second they stepped on the dance floor and felt the groove. Swiftpen loved it.
Around 3:00 am, everyone had left except Pinkie and Swiftpen. Pinkie had fallen asleep, and Swiftpen was about to. He cleaned up the place the best he could, feeling that it was the least he could do, then stumbled home. It was the, by far, best night of his life. He hoped that more were soon to come. He returned home only to instantly collapse on his bed.
He woke up at 9:00, feeling absolutely wonderful. He had no idea why he felt so good, and he didn't even care that he woke up late. He remember what he was doing this day, and quickly hid a pen and paper inside his mane. It would've been quite visible.. without magic. He remembered what Twilight had mentioned yesterday about the plan.
“You should meet the ponies at their homes at around 10:00 am. All of them should be awake by that hour, and will be expecting your arrival and have something planned for the both of you to do.” He had an hour. He quickly went to the café and bought a cup of coffee. He needed the energy, he was a bit sore from last night. Surprisingly he was not very tired. He didn't mind. That party was worth any temporary pain.
He started to head over to Fluttershy’s cottage around 9:45. He knew that the day would involve lots of quiet, awkward, conversation snippets and cute animals. He couldn't tell whether he dreaded this or eagerly awaited it. For some reason, he seemed more inclined to dislike the activity. Which was odd, he would've enjoyed it a week or two ago. He ignored his thoughts and went to the cottage and knocked.
Fluttershy quickly answered and muttered her greetings. Because of her lack of confidence, Swiftpen simply followed her around and mimicked whatever she motioned to mimic. She wouldn't respond to anything that Swiftpen said, apart from incomprehensible and quiet speech blurbs. Throughout the day, he was thoroughly surprised by her unjudging fair heart and mind. She was kind to anything without a second thought. He realized that this was innocence at its purest. He was shocked. When she wasn't looking (which was often), Swiftpen wrote down notes on her behavior and general actions. He knew what he was doing. The day went on without any interruption or significant detail. He was fairly bored by it all. Tending to animals, counting up animals, protecting wildlife… the like. Still, he got some good notes, and was ready for the next day, knowing that he would have to tell the sporty pegasus the gossipy secret he’d been holding in for a long time. He was kind of apprehensive, but he knew he could trust the mare. He slept easily the whole night through.
- - -
He was finally back to his old schedule. 7- wake up, 7:10- buy newspaper, 7:15- buy coffee, 8:00- “relax”. And for this week only at 9:45 he’d head off to whatever pony’s place it was that day. Today, a Tuesday, it would be Rainbow Dash. She lived in the sky, so he figured he could head over to the area under her house and just wait. Or he could surprise her with his magic. That too. He would decide when he got there. When he got there, the blue pegasus zoomed down, making a cool rainbow effect with her mane and tail, and quickly started talking.
“Okay, so, I know we have to do something today, but honestly, we couldn't do anything together because you’re completely grounded, and even if you weren't, I mean seriously, you couldn't keep up with me. So, how about you just tell me your secret with the Wonderbolts, and we can be on our separate ways?” He expected a straightforward approach like this.
“Alright, but I’m only going to tell you this once. You can tell your friends, though alerting too many ponies is a bad idea .” Swiftpen rolled his eyes as he spoke the last words. He then leaned in and whispered the secret in Rainbow Dash’s ear. She started giggling, and eventually spoke one word before bursting into rancorous laughter-
“Seriously?!” Swiftpen smiled and walked away, somewhat glad that he told somepony that silly secret. He honestly didn't care if anypony knew about it- as long as it didn't reveal his identity or anything of the sort. He spent the rest of the day writing up his surprise.
Today’s the day he would meet with Pinkie Pie. He honestly took quite a liking to the crazy pink mare. He never met any fun ponies like her that could make him smile that easily. He assumed that he would spend the day on some baking misadventures or something of the sort. He looked forward to it. Rarity was still ridiculously busy, he could tell by the outside of her store.
The newspaper was fairly boring, as usual. There was a rainstorm scheduled for this Sunday, but that was all. He got to Sugar Cube Corner fairly early, considering its opportune location near the center of town. Before he could even knock, Pinkie rushed out and started jumping up and down, causing her voice to sound even more silly than usual.
“You’re FINALLY here! Hi Swiftpen! How’re you doing? I’m doing juuuust fine! Let’s bake some stuff!!!” She then rushed back in without missing a beat. He couldn't resist but grin wildly at her actions, ignoring the completely illogical aspect of the pony.
“Misadventures” was right, it was absolutely wild. Pinkie managed to bake in a completely organized and correct manner. It was Swiftpen that caused a lot of the damage. Pinkie took a lot of time in helping the stallion, understanding his inexperience. She never lost her gigantic smile, and neither did the author pony. It was a ridiculous amount of fun, that he never really expected.
She made trivial things fun by adding a rhythm, and often singing along to her “work”. After everything was made, the combo team Pinkie and Swiftpen sold their creations. As imagined, the sets that Pinkie mostly worked on looked best and sold the most. But they didn't care. They had, and were having too much fun to care. When it eventually got late, Swiftpen was almost sad he had to leave.
“It was great, Pinkie. I really enjoyed our time together. Let’s do this again sometime, okay?” She never had any expression on her face that didn't show extreme enjoyment.
“Of course we can! Don’t be silly. I’d be GLAD to spend some more time with you! I think we’re already the best of friends! Now seeya round, Swifty!” He walked home, all the while with a smile on his face. He never wrote anything down. He didn't need to, he remembered every second with that mare clearly.
- - -
He woke up, again feeling surprisingly refreshed as with the morning after the party. He head out at 9:30 this morning, knowing the distance between Ponyville and Sweet Apple Acres. He still managed to arrive early. Nothing too specific went on. They did simple apple-related labor, and that was pretty much it. It was pretty easy for Swiftpen.
“So, uh, no offense, but how’re you so strong? You don’t look the part, that’s cert’n.” He saw this coming.
“Actually, Ms. Apple, I am a black belt in karate. I trained for around 4 years. You’d be surprised as to how some simple sport-fighting moves can help you out a lot. I also learned quite a bit of self-defense, but isn't that all fairly useless? Especially in a place like Ponyville.” She looked very surprised.
“Wow. That’s mighty interestin’. I never saw it comin’.” She was always very honest, and Swiftpen really appreciated that. He never knew any other ponies with that quality. Besides himself, of course. He didn't have to write down much. She was pretty self-explanatory. A simple farmpony that enjoyed and knew her job well. She took lots of pride in her work, as well. All useful things in her line of work. He went to his house that night, tired from the hard work. He wondered what Rarity would have in store. He assumed some classy discussion over romance and chivalry, perhaps over some fancy tea. He wouldn't lie, that all sounded fairly boring to him. Besides the romance. Man, did he enjoy romance.
- - -
He went to Rarity’s boutique at the scheduled time. The mare instantly hugged him as he walked in. She was absolutely giddy.
“Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I couldn't possibly express how thankful I am of you, with all seriousness!”
“Hello… Ms. Rarity… how are you.. doing.. today?” She finally released her death grip.
“I’m doing just wonderful, Mr. Swiftpen. I honestly have quite a bit of work to do, but we can sit and chat for a couple of hours. I sure wouldn't mind taking a break.” They did just as Swiftpen assumed they would. The tea was quite nice, he had to admit, and Rarity had an excellent view on romance. On the outside she seemed quite vain, but her generous nature overpowered that easily. Normally you’d assume it’d be one or the other, but the fashionable mare pulled off both excellently, especially with the better quality being the stronger.
Her work was also fascinating to watch. She didn't do chaos. It was either organized or bust. And he could clearly tell the difference between chaos and organized chaos. He liked the mare, but her love for fashion bored him, and honestly vanity was a useless topic for the stallion, being one to ignore most physical possessions. He wrote down a bit, as Rarity was the pony he knew the least about beforehand, but still a fairly simple mare. He left home and wrote a lot more of the surprise. Only one day left of the plan. This would be the most interesting, as he knew that Twilight had picked up on his secret-suspicious behavior. Maybe secrets would be revealed. He could not say himself.
“Alright, what exactly do you have planned for today, Ms. Twilight?” He could tell that she was faking a friendly smile.
“I just thought that we could relax and read some books in the peace and quiet, and then just talk a bit. Just a normal Saturday for me! Well, before my ascent to royalty, of course.” They did just that, though Twilight often glared at him, apparently expecting him to just pop open with his secrets. Which is ironically and basically exactly what happened.
“Are you just going to stare at me until I come clean?” She was a bit surprised and embarrassed.
“... yes.” She spoke, and then returned to her glare.
“How about we save us a lot of time, and I just say it now.” She was again surprised, only didn't lose her glare.
“You aren't going to believe a single word I say, by the way.” No surprise. Just glare. He rolled his eyes.
“I’m from exactly five years in the future. I teleported 10 years before that using a spell of your creation, and mostly did it specifically to fulfill my dream of becoming your scribe. Any questions?” She looked perplexed.
“Really…?”
“Yes, seriously. If you believe me you’d be the first. I have proof, anyway. I already know you and most of your friends. You are quite prominent in the future, though I only personally met you once. I was born and raised in Canterlot.”
“That’s… not at all what I was expecting. It’s very interesting, too. I made a 10-year time travel spell?!”
“Actually it can go any distance but… wait, you believe me!?”
“Um, yeah, I do. I've seen crazier, you know. Besides, you seem very trustworthy, and I doubt you could lie to a lady.” He blushed a bit, then went back to the conversation.
“Do you think your friends will believe us? It’s quite far-fetched, I know.”
“It’s doubtful that they would think that I was lying, but some might not trust your word, so you better leave the explanation to me.”
“That’s great, I really am glad that I could get that off my chest without repercussion or laughter. There’s currently only one other that knows my secret, and that’s Zecora, though I am unsure if she believes me.” She looked at him in confusion.
“You know Zecora?”
“Well, yeah. I live in the Everfree, remember? We used to share tea every once in awhile, she is a very friendly zebra. Not like I've ever met other zebras.” The conversation drifted from there, and went on for a long while. Two intellectuals are bound to get lost in conversation together sometime. Swiftpen left, his mind somewhat tired from the deep thought he went through while with the intelligent princess. He wrote the rest of his surprise. It should arrive around Monday, and they would definitely know of it.
Sunday was a nice relaxing break day for him. He was done with everything, not much work was left for him, and what was left was few and could be thrown off until later. He was about halfway through a new romance novel, he had been encountering a surprising amount of inspiration lately. He was sitting inside his house, writing down all of his ideas as they came to mind. He used to really enjoy days like this, but for some reason he felt sad that the rain didn't allow him to be active and wild.
It was Monday. He woke up earlier than usual, around 6:30. He bought a newspaper around 7:00, for that was the time that the stand opened up. His surprise was in there, all right. His summary made the front page. He wasn't surprised, knowing his alias’ status. They didn't edit a single word. He generally purposely put a single typo in his work to check for this. It was still there. He decided to simply relax until around noon, when he knew that they would all be aware of it.
It was time. He trotted to the library, wondering of their reactions, for they had surely gathered there already. He knocked, and the door instantly opened to their amazed faces. Twilight spoke first-
“Did you seriously do this?” She held up with her magic the article, titled:
“The 6 Magnificent Mares of Ponyville, written by CJ ”.
It contained a paragraph on each of the friends, each explaining what they did and what they contributed to the town. It also played up their incredibly favorable qualities and personalities. Twilight was incredibly grateful, knowing that controlling her popularity was one of his many jobs as scribe and assistant. Fluttershy muttered a thanks, looking quite embarrassed.
Pinkie Pie was hyper as usual, and came up with a song to express her thanks for his kind words. Applejack spoke a standard polite thank you with her unique drawl. Rarity was absolutely shocked, and spoke a ton of thanks jumbled up into one huge vocal mess. Rainbow Dash apparently still couldn't get over that secret, as whenever she looked at Swiftpen, she started to laugh uncontrollably.
Twilight took over and got them all to quiet down (though Pinkie looked like she would burst into song at any given moment).
“We all seriously thank you, Swiftpen, for these compliments and popularity boosts. And yes, I have told everyone about your secret, and Rainbow said she would tell us whatever you told her the other day after you left and she stopped laughing. Whatever that is. You may leave any time. And I think that Pinkie has a question for-”
“OOOOH YES I DO! Do you want us (and by us I mean ME) to throw you a PARTY tonight?! I think that’d be GREAT! We could DANCE and STUFF again!”
“Pinkie, sugar cube, don’tcha think he would be a little-” Swiftpen smiled and interrupted Applejack.
“I couldn't possibly turn down a party invitation from you, Pinkie! Of course I want a party.” They all looked surprised. “Yaaaaaay! Be at Sugar Cube Corner at 6 pm SHARP! Seeya round!” She dashed out. Swiftpen kept his smile, said his goodbyes, and left to his house to rest up. He couldn't wait for the party that night.
This party was significantly larger than the last one, consuming all of the ground floor of the shop and also a small amount outside. Otherwise it was identical, with the extreme detail that Swiftpen noticed everywhere. Vinyl was here and already playing music, which surprised nopony. Swiftpen thought the food would be just as great as before, but it was actually better. It was odd, he didn't think they could get any better. And every different flavor of punch was the equal amount of delicious, though he still stuck to the pink. Pinkie and Swiftpen stuck together throughout the whole party. They never spoke a word, it was unnecessary. They partied hard together. Their rancorous behavior caused a lot of other ponies to join, a lot more than before. Their spirit seemed to catch on, and the wonderful party went very late. Until around 4:00 am, Swiftpen thought he read on his watch. He almost fell asleep on the spot, but again cleaned up a large amount and then went home. These parties were turning out to be the highlights of his life.
Swiftpen woke up at 10:00 am. Very late for him, but he got a very refreshing night’s sleep, as he had been ever since the first party. He knew that Twilight would again want him at noon. He reported there at a punctual 11:55 am.
“Hello, Swiftpen. That was quite an interesting secret you told Rainbow the other day.”
She giggled and went on.
“Also, you are turning out to be quite the party animal. I never took you as that kind of pony. Anyways, there really still isn't anything to be done, besides the things I personally have to do. Perhaps take some more days off. I’m sure the chaos will have returned by then.”
Swiftpen was unsurprised, but courteous.
“Thank you, Ms. Twilight. I will be sure to spend my free time wisely.”
He left, knowing that most of the rest of his day would be writing and reading. He was used to this. He did spend 5 years in seclusion… writing and reading. He didn't regret that, though. It all led up to this wonderful “job” with these amazing ponies. As he was walking home to get his writing supplies, an overpowering thought went into his head. Why don’t I head down to Sugar Cube Corner and see if Pinkie wants to hang out? It sounded like a great idea, but he disregarded the thought best he could. He couldn't let himself get distracted this easily, could he? Was this going to become a problem? Swiftpen shrugged it off and went into his house. He, very soon after closing his door, heard a knock on it. He answered, and saw standing before him.. of all ponies. Pinkie Pie. He wasn't given a chance to greet her, but he doubted he could’ve said anything anyway.
“Hi Swifty! How’re you doing?! I’m doing just PERFECT. Do you want to, uh, go back to Sugar Cube Corner and cooooook around a bit again? I mean, it’s fine if you don’t but I’d really enjoy it if you did!’
He covered up his pleasantly surprised face with a smile, and nodded his head.
“That’s great, let’s go!”
She then started trotting at an unusually reasonable pace back to Ponyville, giving Swiftpen a good amount of time to set down his things and catch up. He was actually very grateful for the mare’s appearance, he was starting to dread the idea of spending another day with only the written word. He wondered about how Pinkie knew where he lived, but he didn't give it too much thought. He felt it was useless and unnecessary to question her. She was just being herself. They did exactly what they did the last time they were together at the shop, only Pinkie made more mistakes and Swiftpen made less. Pinkie’s pastries were still much better, even with the few silly slip-ups she made.
“You’ll get the hang of it, someday, Swifty!”
She was so ridiculously optimistic and happy all the time. Just thinking about it brought a smile to Swiftpen’s face. And he loved the nickname he had gotten from her. She was the only one who ever called him by a true nickname (that was not his alias, of course). He felt like he could honestly spend all of his time just messing around and having fun with Pinkie. It’s not like he had anything better to do, his life was basically set. Besides, he had had enough of novels for this decade. Perhaps he could start writing something else. He had something in mind. He asked Pinkie about it.
“Hey, Pinkie, what would you think about me writing songs with you?”
She smiled her characteristic smile.
“That sounds wonderful, Swifty! With my musical talent and your writy-talent, we can make the BEST SONGS EVER! How about tomorrow?”
She actually gave him a chance to answer.
“That seems perfect.”
She never stopped smiling.
“GREAT! Be here at 10 am please.”
Her smile had caught on a while ago. He wasn't sure he would ever stop, or if he ever wanted to. They continued their escapades throughout the day, occasionally making big messes and then hastily cleaning them up only to make bigger ones. It was great fun. Never once did it feel tedious or difficult. He went home not feeling tired in the slightest, but still falling straight asleep anyway.
It was 7:00 am, and Swiftpen was prepared for their songwriting session already. He was just about to get some coffee along with the newspaper, but first he put his saddlebag on with all of his supplies in it. It was mostly just paper and various writing utensils, but he didn't doubt that some of the papers would be rendered unusable. He went to the pastry store to find a note hastily taped onto the door. It read in bright pink ink:
Dear Swifty,
I realized that I accidentally set our session to be at the SAME EXACT TIME as some other thing I set up a while ago! How silly of me! How about we do this on FRIDAY?! I know it’s sad ‘cuz we gotta wait 2 days, but I’m still sure it’ll be GREAT! I know that you can, I already asked Twi if you were doing anything that day, and she’s probably right, I mean when isn't she! Well, she has been wrong a lot but that’s besides the point! I’ll be at your house at 10:00 am FRIDAY ok??!??! Okay! Seeya then, Swifty!
~ Pinkie Pie
He could’ve sworn that it was signed in frosting. He thought it was kind of odd that she would meet him at his house instead of the other way, but had no qualms. He had no plans. He never did. Even if he did, he would probably move them aside for Pinkie. He was fairly sad that he would have to wait, but he figured that it would be worth it. A day with Pinkie, no matter what day it was, would always be worth it to Swiftpen.
While the author pony assumed that Twilight would have no work for him, he decided to go to the Golden Oak Library anyway, after his daily ritual. There was another crude note on the door in light pink. It read:
Hi Swifty! Twilight has NO WORK FOR YOU!!!!! Have a NICE DAY!
~~~~ Pinkie Pie ~~~~
Her signature was surrounded by lots of smileys and unnecessary drawings, and by appearance she was just trying to fill up the page. He found it odd that Pinkie wrote the note, not Twilight, but again he remember the odd and charming nature of the mare, and didn’t worry himself about it. He decided that today would be another “relaxation” day. Again, he didn’t really mind the wait. He was certain that the next day would be great.
She was there at a punctual 10:01. She knocked at the door a bit tentatively, which was surprising for Pinkie. Swiftpen knew that he would have no other visitors that Friday, so he answered the door without hesitation, to find a strangely nervous looking Pinkie Pie. She quickly lost the look and regained her normal wide grin and hyper behavior.
“Hi Swifty! Where do you want to go for this? We could go to the library! Twilight’s out of town on ‘business’ so we wouldn’t bother her. Whattaya say?” The brown stallion thought about it, and figured that it would be fine, especially if the Princess was out.
“Sure, why not? I have my stuff all packed already. Let’s go.” They left the semi-hidden house and headed towards the Golden Oak Library. Pinkie wasn’t doing her usually hop-skip, she was actually trotting like any other pony. Swiftpen didn’t know what to think about that. He didn’t really like it. What made Pinkie herself was her strange quirks.
They went into the library, and it was in fact empty as the pink mare had told Swiftpen. He magicked his supplies onto the table, neatly laying down 2 sheets of paper and a pencil on each side.
“Think of a tune and then we can brainstorm some lyrics!” He was quite enthusiastic. Two great, odd minds working together could probably accomplish a lot. She quickly came up with a nice catchy rhythm, and they went from there. Pinkie was surprisingly awkward and hesitant. Swiftpen had never seen her being any different than her usual wild.
She occasionally got lost in thought and went silent for around 5-10 minutes. Again unusual for the hyper mare. They still came up with some great ideas that they were sure to expand upon later. At around 2:00 pm, Pinkie was suddenly quite insistent and pushy.
“OK Swifty we’re done for today! Let’s do the same thing every weekday! We can go other places and stuff! Bye!!!” She then pushed him out of the library and closed the door. He regained his bearings, and realized that he left his things in the tree. He opened the door and prepared for Pinkie to be there, doing something or other, but found nopony there at all.
His stuff was relatively untouched, and as he went over to collect it all in a bag, he heard whispers.
“Pinkie, that was weak. You could’ve done better.” He recognized the voice as Twilight Sparkle’s. He then heard a very odd and somewhat disturbing sounding voice; a sad Pinkie Pie.
“I know. I was way too awkward and antisocial. he probably doesn’t want to do that again :(“ The whispers got too quiet for his ears to hear, so he got his stuff together, and went upstairs to greet the Princess and find out what was going on. He knocked on the door to the upper floor.
“Hello, Ms. Twilight? Are you there? I thought I heard something.” She walked over to the door and opened it.
“Um, yes, hi Swiftpen. What are you doing here?” She was clearly faking a smile. She seemed almost scared.
“I was simply gathering my things before I left back to my home. I’ll be on my way now.” She gave an awkwardly fake laugh.
“Ha..ha… yeah, sure. See you around…” He kept true to his word and left. He wondered, why were they acting so weird around me? He honestly had no idea what it could possibly be. Did something happen? Why did Pinkie sound sad? And also, why did she lie about Twilight being there? Nothing was being answered, and Swiftpen disliked the idea of Pinkie Pie lying and being sad. There had to be something bad going on. He planned on finding it out. He never liked it when mares were upset. It just bothered him.
10. Revelations of an Odd Sort
Swiftpen woke up Monday morning and opened his door to find a note on his doorstep. It was an odd, small note. The hoofwriting seemed half terrible, half great, which was very strange to see. The note simply read- When you're with Pinkie today, suggest pranking. It was unsigned and quite random. He didn't know whether to trust the note or not, but figured that anyone who knew where he lived could not be a bad pony that meant to instill strife in his life. He took the paper, placed it on his desk, and went about his morning before he would meet up with Pinkie at his house. He got lost in thought over what could be the matter often.
It was 10:00 am, and Swiftpen was naturally in his house preparing for the pink mare's arrival. She came, unsurprisingly on-time. She had another awkward-nervous look on her face, and it took much longer for it to disappear. Swiftpen decided that that would be a good time to take the note's advice.
"So... Pinkie, would you like to go.. pranking today?" Her face lit up in an odd manner. Startled and happy.
"Why... of COURSE I would, Swifty! Where should we start? I never knew you liked to mess around with ponies!" Swiftpen's day was instantly brightened up by Pinkie leaving her unusual mood.
"Umh.. I'm quite new to this, I assure you.. How about Applejack? She appreciates a good joke, and I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult." She seemed to be concocting a plan already.
"I have just the thing in mind!"
Applejack smiled knowingly as she saw the two ponies snooping around near her, but tried to hide it, knowing that both of them had no idea that she had gave Swiftpen the idea of pranking. She figured that they would all have a good laugh about it in around a month, long after Applejack had won her bet with Rainbow Dash. She knew a thing or two about hesitation.
She was glad that they hadn't started with Rarity, as she had helped write the note, after many failed attempts by the farm mare's hooves and mouth. Swiftpen was honestly quite terrible at being stealthy, as being truthful was his specialty, but she was still glad to see Pinkie and the author stallion enjoying their time together.
Applejack was really quite surprised that Swiftpen had not realized by now. All the other mares found it quite obvious, especially when Pinkie pulled an "emergency girl meeting" on the last Wednesday and Thursday and asked for advice.
She was also intrigued about the fact that Pinkie never heard the secret that Rainbow Dash was told by the writer. She was ironically the only one who didn't know it, and considering its nature, it may be better if she either finds out later or not at all.
Swiftpen and Pinkie Pie went around causing controlled and non-damaging practical jokes, having tons of fun despite the stallion's inexperience. The mare was back to her hyper and silly self, and Swiftpen much liked it that way. He hoped that old Pinkie was here to stay. Later, as the author pony was walking Pinkie home, he decided to ask her a question.
"Say, Pinkie, what was it that you were so... off .. about on Friday? I'm sure I could understand any possible reason you may have." She suddenly blushed for a second and obviously faked a small smile.
"I... er.. really like the fact that you're so worried about me, but.. umh, everything is fine! Tip-top shape! Nothing happened! Good night Swifty!" She suddenly ran away to Sugar Cube Corner, as they were fairly close in the first place.
Swiftpen started to slowly trot home after regaining his composure, still worrisome of what the mare's problem was. It couldn't have anything to do with me, could it? He wondered in the chilly night air. He suddenly felt a forceful gust. It was gone as soon as it had came. He figured nothing of it and went home.
The next day, after he read the newspaper, he was forced to return to his home. He practically spit out his coffee when he read it, but held back, knowing that he would embarrass himself in a public place like that. He left a note on his door for Pinkie, knowing that she would come around soon.
This actually happened quite often to him, especially around a week after his publicity appearances. Rumors would spread, and eventually make its way into the paper, where it would catch like wildfire. Even in a small town like Ponyville, he wouldn't be safe. Good thing he hadn't introduced himself to any ponies that weren't the Princess' friends. He had to lie low for around a week. He wondered if Pinkie would still spend time with him, even in his small, reclusive house. He supposed he just had to wait until she would come, if she did.
Swiftpen heard Pinkie Pie trot to his house, and heard her stop to read the note. She then knocked, and he answered swiftly.
"Oh, hi Swifty. We're not going to do stuff today, but I just wanted to ask- what was your secret that you told my friends?" He was surprised at the blunt question.
"This is a bit unexpected, and I didn't realize that you haven't heard it. There's no harm in telling you. The secret is this- Spitfire is quite obsessed with me. I don't return her feelings, but I have pulled in a few favors that I feel a little guilty about, but she's always happy to help. It's definitely nothing we want the media to hear about, that's for sure, though I'm sure I can trust you." He gave a friendly smile. She seemed a bit... startled, to say the least, but quickly got her smile back, though it looked a tiny bit forced.
"Alright, Swifty. Seeya in a week or so!" She trotted away quickly. Odd...
He found waiting a week inside the confines of the Everfree to be infinitely boring. The only thing he really looked forward to were casual visits with Zecora every day. Other than that all he had were books and magic, and he'd had enough of books for the next 10 years, he assumed. Pinkie's behavior that Monday and Friday still haunted him. He thought about going to her friends after the rumors died down and asking. But perhaps he was snooping too much. Maybe he didn't need to know. But he assumed he would ask politely after all this blasted waiting.
It was finally a week later, on a Wednesday, that Swiftpen felt like he could return to Ponyville in safety. In town, the newspaper was boring as usual, and there were no rabid fans. He'd had enough experiences with those kinds of fans in the past. He figured that Twilight would probably have quite a bit of work for him, even though it seemed unrealistic for he hadn't really done anything since that first day. He walked in to find total chaos. He tsked as he greeted Twilight.
"It would appear that I have work to do!" Twilight smiled in relief.
"Finally, you're back! Pinkie told us about what was going on. It seems rough being famous!'
"None more famous than you, Princess. You go relax while I sort things out." She smiled weakly, she was obviously exhausted, and went upstairs, presumably to sleep. Spike went out to get some coffee, which was odd considering his love of rest. He got to work while thinking of ways to ask Twilight about Pinkie, respectfully and politely. This caused him to be unusually clumsy and unfocused. He didn't like that one bit. He was still getting the organization done, anyway. Just a bit slower than usual. He was done at around 5:00 pm, and the resident mare was awake by then. He figured it was time to ask her.
"So, uh, what was the deal with Pinkie before the whole author deal? I mean, she seemed quite nervous and just off, especially for her. I've actually been worrying about it for a while. I don't like it when mares are unhappy." Twilight looked like she was about to start giggling, and tried very hard to hold it back. It was quite obvious, actually, and Swiftpen wondered why she even tried to disguise it. She waited until she could keep a straight face to speak.
"Erm.. you should talk to her about it." She muttered something afterwards.
"Have you SERIOUSLY not noticed? Geez.
He finally mustered up the courage to go up to Sugar Cube Corner and ask Pinkie. As he arrived, he greeted the Cakes.
"Sorry to bother you, but do you know where Pinkie is?" They looked fairly surprised, as they had actually never seen the stallion in Ponyville before.
"You're Swiftpen, I assume. Pinkie actually went out looking for you earlier. She should probably be at your house." Mrs. Cake answered.
"Thank you." He said, and swiftly trotted away. He wondered if he would catch her there or on his way. His thoughts were answered as soon as he came in "sight" of his house, seeing Pinkie sitting right outside.
"Hello, Pinkie. I'm glad I caught you. What's up?" She again seemed very nervous, for even longer this time, with uncertainty in her eyes. She almost seemed scared.
"Um.. my friends told me that I should, uh, explain to you what was going on the past couple of weeks, so I came here to do that..." The brown pony was surprised.
"And I was looking for you to ask the same thing. So, let's hear it." He then sat next to the mare, looking directly in her eyes with a warm smile. She had apparently lost all use of her voice, and pulled out a large cake from who-knows-where. It was a beautifully decorated pink cake, with chocolate and even icing hearts lining the entire thing. After gazing at the pastry for an unknown amount of time, Swiftpen looked at Pinkie's face again. Her nerves seemed to be going wild. She even appeared to be sweating. He uttered the only words he felt he could speak at the time.
"You made this... for me?" She simply nodded curtly. He magicked the cake onto the ground and suddenly grabbed Pinkie in a huge embrace. The mare blushed deeply and eventually returned the hug. Swiftpen finally understood everything that had transpired, and even why Twilight had laughed earlier. He felt a little dumb that he had missed it, but he didn't regret anything that had happened, and was truly glad that it was nothing bad. Quite the opposite.
After the long, emotional embrace, they looked deep into each other's eyes and started laughing like little kids. They then promptly shoved the cake in their faces and laughed even more. The rest of the day and night they spent their time together telling jokes and giggling like idiots.
At the end of the night, they shared a gleeful look and Swiftpen broke the silence with a question.
"Shall we party together, later?" Pinkie Pie had a even crazier smile than usual. She nodded and quickly ran into Sugar Cube Corner. Swiftpen then walked slowly home, almost in ecstasy.
It was around a week after that fateful night, on a Thursday evening. The couple had been pulling a large prank on the other ponies- they completely hid the fact that they had been spending all of their time together ever since. They just acted like friends in public, in private they were as open and intimate as they wanted to be. Pinkie even managed to dodge Twilight's questioning and act as if nothing happened. Swiftpen didn't think he could do the same, but he didn't need to anyway. Recently they had been just fooling around together, but this night Pinkie suggested a dinner at an upper class restaurant at a nearby town. It was odd for the pink mare to go to an orderly establishment, but she was only doing it for the stallion, as she assumed that he enjoyed class and fanciness. Swiftpen really couldn't argue with anything that she did. He didn't think he had the heart to make her feel any emotion apart from happiness. They had reservations, it was honestly very easy to order them discreetly if you dropped the name "CJ" dead seriously.
They arrived at a decent time. It was still light out but the sun was starting to dip down below the horizon. Swiftpen randomly wondered- is this REALLY how I want to spend time with her? He was then forced to make a very fast decision. So he did. It wasn't difficult. He suddenly said to Pinkie;
"Let's leave." She looked surprised, and then suddenly.. relieved. They trotted out, a look of glee on the couple's face.
After they were well out of the town, Pinkie gave a very quick and tight hug to Swiftpen. After the embrace, the stallion spoke up.
"That place looked boring. What do you want to do?" He gave a smile, knowing fully well that Pinkie thought the same about the restaurant.
"I have the BEST idea! Let's go to Sugar Cube Corner, take a TON of snacks and stuff, go to your house, and write MUSIC while eating!" They hadn't gotten back to their songwriting since before the "reveal" per se. Swiftpen had no qualms with that course of action, so that's exactly what they did.
Little did they know, there was a photographer pony who had happened upon the house while searching for pictures in the Everfree. He also ironically worked for one of the main newspapers of Equestria. He took many pictures of the house, knowing that perhaps they could get a decent story out of it. He saw the ponies inside messing around and decided to take a few with them in it. He did not recognize the stallion inside the house, but practically everypony knew Pinkie Pie, crazy friend of the new Princess. After taking his pictures he left without alerting them to his presence- it would've been impossible to tear them away from each other, anyway.
The photographer took the photos back to the head building of the newspaper. After some quick research, he discovered the unicorn with Pinkie to be Swiftpen, the assistant and scribe of the Princess Twilight Sparkle. Out of the pictures, their writers managed to make a particularly gossipy and near-the-truth-but-not-exactly-true story titled- "Organized Assistant or Rampant Partier?" It was bound to be popular, knowing as anything even somewhat related to the Princess caught everypony's eye.
In fact, a very specific mare saw the article the next day. A mare with plenty of media power to go around. If she wanted something to get in the press, it would get in the press. She had a very specific secret she wanted revealed to the public completely out of pure jealousy and frustration. It would be in the next day's newspaper, for sure. Anything less than front page would be unacceptable.
Love makes ponies do strange things.
Swiftpen was hiding inside the Golden Oak Library with all of his belongings in the basement floor with him. There were media ponies and a lot of wild fans. His secrets were finally out. He was CJ, and he was in fact dating Pinkie Pie. The latter didn't seem as important as he tried to get his things in order. Swiftpen really had no idea how or why his secrets got out. Not many ponies knew besides Twilight Sparkle and her friends.
But at that moment he remembered- Spitfire. She obviously would've seen the article the day before that revealed his relationship with Pinkie, and probably got incredibly jealous. One of those "If I can't have him no one can" situations. He sighed. There was no way out.
Twilight was gathering all of her friends inside the library to "help". The stallion felt like any attempt to cull the rumors or perhaps just thin them down was impossible and would end in disaster. The Princess saw the logic in his pessimistic thinking, but decided to call them all there anyway. They might as well hear the other secret. The prank did last a very long time, though that was mostly irrelevant at this point.
Around 2 hours later everypony was inside the library holding an emergency meeting. Twilight began.
"Alright, have you all heard that Swiftpen and Pinkie are now dating?" Rainbow Dash's eyes widened in shock.
"No way! I even planted that note to have Pinkie hear his secret! I was sure that would work!" Applejack had a smug smile on her face.
"Pay up, sugar cube. You owe me." The pegasus pony reluctantly gave Applejack 15 bits as per their bet. Everypony else was mostly unsurprised besides Fluttershy who was truly oblivious to it all. Twilight shushed them all and continued.
"Anyways, Swiftpen's alias has been compromised. As you've probably seen from the state of the town. Do any of you have any idea of what to do?" None of them said a word, besides Pinkie and Swiftpen, who were whispering in each other's ears. After a while, they seemed to reach an agreement. Swiftpen spoke up.
"We have an idea."
Swiftpen stood in front of the gathered crowd, waiting for them to quiet down. Naturally they didn't, so he used his knowledge of magic to amplify his voice.
"Fans and reporters, my name is Swiftpen, better known under the alias CJ. I came to Ponyville from my peaceful home in Canterlot to live a peaceful and quiet life. I wrote many books upon my arrival, up to a total of around 25. Most, surprisingly, became bestsellers. I never truly expected that. But now, five years after my move, I am a rich and famous stallion. And now, I just want to relax. When I applied for a job as assistant to the Princess, I didn't expect much. It was a childhood dream of mine, to serve a princess. That's all I wanted. What I got were wonderful, amazing friends. And one mare who I consider to be a lot more than a friend. Now that I have everything I have ever wanted and then some, nothing is out of my reach. But, now with my alias being released to the public, I do not have much privacy. So, in light of this, I resign the alias of CJ. CJ will no longer write or publish anything. Swiftpen, however, will write an autobiography, and be done with writing. For now I would like to live out the rest of my life in the peaceful town of Ponyville with the best ponies I've met in my life. Because CJ is no longer in existence, there is no reason for you to take your pictures and report your gossip. I am simply Swiftpen, a normal, boring, unicorn stallion. Now please, leave if you are here on business relating to CJ."
The crowd was simply astonished. Many ponies were startled and started to object, but Swiftpen simply used his magic to shut them up. They finally gave up their stubborn ways and started to slowly trot out.
Pinkie Pie stepped up besides the stallion and illogically held his hoof in hers.
Swiftpen wouldn't have wanted it any other way.