Discord didn't do it...for once

by The Gunslinger

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Discord, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other
Length: 960

Discord finds Equestria in TOO much chaos.

Discord watches as reality is broken and everything goes wrong. He hates the chaos everywhere though. But it's up to him to fix it. Making sense got thrown out the window, so for Discord, he just wants to find a sane spot to hide in for a while.

Published 2013-08-23 23:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-23 23:00:03 UTC

What the?

        Discord watched as the world tore itself apart, wondering how this even happened. Somehow, that little purple sparkly butted brat had caused so much chaos, she broke the entire world. And since she had done that, he had nothing to do anymore, so he conjured up a suit, monocle, and a pipe that blew bubbles and sat there as Sunbutt herself flew to him in a rage so massive, she actually set herself on fire.

'Note to self: Don't mess with Tia when she's like this. Just sit there like you did nothing (which you have) and watch the fireworks fly.'. Discord thought to himself. He looked at the Solar Princess as she screamed at him in the royal Canterlot voice, which he had no chance of understanding since it was more of a mixture between a howl and growling, rather than words. So Discord busied himself by watching the chaos, not caring about Tia's hooting and hollering.

"DAMN DISCORD, LISTEN TO BE BEFORE I SENT YOU TO THE SUN TO ROAST!"

         Now Discord listened to the Princess. "Did I do something, Tia? I haven't even caused one bit of chaos so far, I'm just here to watch the show this has caused, so get your facts right before you come all the way out here. It's not even amusing, or funny, in any way." Discord said in a tired tone, taking a glance at her. This sent Celestia over the edge, and the flames around her grew bigger, until she just promptly turned to ashes. Then a massive gravestone fell from the sky and landed on the ashes she left behind, and it said Here lies Celestia, who burnt herself into Kentucky Deep Fried Chickin' which greatly confused Discord.

'What in Chao's name is Kentucky Deep Fried Chicken?'

      So Discord got up and walked to town, to see Applejack sewing, and Rarity rolling around in the mud.

        'Oooookay? This is just odd.' And Discord just walked on, trying to find whatever caused it to give it a few tips, but when he crossed the corner, he saw Twilight acting like he normally would, causing things to shift and change shapes, but she was smiling like a freak and was laughing in the weirdest voice, like she had breathed in helium and was high at the same time, while screwing something.. So Discord walked over to her and slapped her upside the head

        "No, no, NO! This is just too chaotic, you didn't make anything to stop you! It'll just get boring for you after a while. Urgh. I'll just go find Fluttershy and see if she's okay...and away from the freak show. You all are making ME seem sane for once.." And with that, he walked to Fluttershy's cottage.

     "Helllllo? Fluttershy, I'm home!" Discord called as he walked in the front door, and took a glance around to see her in the corner with the remains of many animals around her and blood smeared all over her face.

     "Oh come here Discord, you look very...tasty hehehe. " Fluttershy  whispered in a very deep voice, like when she got infected by poison joke. Discord's eyes widened and he sprinted outside, in a panic and shouted

     "WHAT THE HELL, AUTHOR! THIS PLACE IS JUST PLAIN OLD DISTURBING, SINCE NOTHING IS EVEN REMOTELY RIGHT!"

  "Eh. Discord, I don't really care, I WANTED this to be just plain weird. Besides, you owe me four million mesos still. This'll shave off at least half a mil." the Author said in his odd voice.

    "WELL BUCK YOU BUDDY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO BREAK YOUR FAVORITE SWORD AND THIS STORY IS BUCKING BULLSHIT LIKE YOUR MIND!" Discord screamed.

     "...That's just mean Discord.maybe I should just get rid of you in this story, and you STILL owe me my mesos. Don't forget. Ever." Then the Author made an anvil drop from the sky and land on Discord. Then a piano, and a few other cliché things, like a vase, a safe, and a bucket. Why? Because the Author wanted to. And because SOMEONE still owed him his mesos. Although it was rather petty, but still. COME ON, it's been seven years and he still hasn't been paid back.

     Discord got up and glared at the sky and spoke his lion fist at it.

     "May you rot forever in hell, Author!"

   "SHUT UP, EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK! I don't have time for this. I have to write this story you know! And you breaking the fourth wall isn't hel-" the Author's voice cut off and was replaced by another. Pinkimena Diane Pie will not tolerate your stupid talking anymore, Random. Now to make some special cupcakes. MUHAHAHAHAHA!"

    Discord frowned "Dafuq is going on up there?... Must be nothing...hopefully." Then the screams began.

     Discord ran away from the sound, covering his ears. 'sheesh. This place is getting worse and worse by the minute...' Discord looked around and walked to Twilight, just to find Fluttershy feasting on her organs.

     "I'll just be going now" Discord said calmly, turned around, and threw up. He then flew away from the scene of the death, and watched as everything turned back to normal, except for those that died (since the undead ain't normal) and Discord turned himself into a statue to avoid whatever was going on ,since this place was messed up, and he didn't want it affecting him. At all. So he watched as Fluttershy screamed at the body she had been eating, and Luna begin to cry at her sister's tombstone. He then zoned out, not wanting to see this world until the damned Author was gone for once and for all, though he doubt that would happen.