Discord was bored. Today was a perfect day for chaos, yet his chaos was limited by Celestia. Fluttershy had gone away to get more food for her animals, and there wasn't anything she or her friends needed help with. With a sigh discord decided surely it wouldn't be terribly bad to go make some new friends... A little harmless chaos wouldn't hurt either, so why not do both? Surely, it wouldn't be bad using a little chaos as long as he didn't harm anypony.
Discord flew around Ponyville looking for somepony interesting to mess wi- um.. talk to. Eventually he spotted a pegasus trotting out of the Everfree Forest. She was an interesting white mare with a single purple strand in her faded blue mane and tail who had dull violet eyes. Discord had begun to stalk his prey as he waited for the right time to alert her of his presence.
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Rain Fires noticed the draconequus following her .. after all, how could one not notice such a thing? She kept about her routine walking towards Ponyville, stealing occasional glances now and then. She stopped and sat under a tree while adjusting her saddlebags.
"I know you're there ... I don't know why you're following me, nor do I know if I should be honored or frightened," she said, speaking seemingly to the open space around her. She sent no looks in Discord's direction. "Of course, you could be just a product of a very long and tiring day, for all I know... Good thing there's nopony around to hear me talking to myself." She leaned back under the tree and looked up at the clouds lazily floating by.
"Yep, that's me!" Discord appeared in the unsuspecting mare's lap, a large grin on his muzzle as he adjusted himself, relaxing visibly in the newly discovered pony chair. "Just a figment of your imagination, the voices in your head, oh, you're crazy alright. It'll only be a matter of time before you're wearing a nice comfy jacket..." He scooted off the pony, moving a few hooves back. Discord reached a claw behind his back and produced a brand new straight jacket, which he promptly held up for Rain Fires inspection. "Oh, want to try it on? I made it especially for you, my little pony."
"No thanks. The sleeves look okay, but it's simply not my color," Rain Fires said dryly, slowly pulling herself to her hooves.
He pulled back the straight jacket, studying it curiously, his gaze occasionally drifting back to Rain Fires. "I dunno, I think it matches rather nicely... Maybe if I..." He poked the jacket, the white fabric turning dark as night. "How about now?" he held the jacket out again, grinning.
"That's a lovely shade and all but..." Rain took a step forward,
"I'm curious as to what do I owe the honor of being your latest victim? Should I be worried? Frightened, perhaps?" She inquired.
"Well, that depends..." The draconequus pulled his gift back and tossed it over his shoulder, the jacket wrapping around a tree behind him as if it were alive. "What do you think you should be? I am Discord, the embodiment of Chaos after all."
"I'm really not sure," she replied, after a moment's thought. "I just don't understand what it is you want with me." She paused to consider her options, "Something tells me the sensible thing would be to simply leave."
Discord’s eyes shifted back and forth a few times, his head swiveling 360 degrees as he checked around to make sure nopony was watching before pulling a small slip of paper from behind his back and holding it out to Rain Fires. "Here's the answer sheet, but don't tell anypony you got it from me...."
Rain Fires took the paper from Discord and read it. She looked at Discord, then back to the paper, and then back to Discord. "'The moon is blue'? What the hay does that mean?" She asked, passing the paper back to Discord.
"Well, since I suppose you have a good reason for choosing to follow me of all ponies.... What's your agenda?"
The Paper sprouted a tongue almost as soon as Rain Fires had given it back and promptly blew a raspberry at her before turning into a lollipop as Discord took it back. "The moon is actually rather gray, quite boring without a bit of decorating." he replied, eating the lollipop, stick and all. "And as I said, that depends on your... perspective. I might be reformed, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun, and that, my friend, is the only agenda worth having."
Rain Fires smiled as she pictured Discord's previous takeover of Ponyville, before he was reformed.
"And where do I fit into all of this? I'm a rather boring pony you know. You can call me Rain if you'd like. "
He grumbled, snapping his fingers as he crossed his arms. A cotton candy cloud appeared above the pony a moment later and immediately began raining down its payload of chocolate milk. "Until you learn to stop asking boring questions..." The draconequus swatted the cloud down, leaving it perched atop Rain Fire's head. Now settling as a rather comical looking pink afro. "I dub thee, Cloud Carrier!"
"Boring is as boring does, Discord." Rain Fires glanced up at the pink cloud perched atop her head as best she could. Shrugging, she looked at Discord. "I dunno, this could be a nice look." She claimed, grinning slightly.
"Ah, now you're getting it! You just need to be a bit less boring!" He poofed behind Rain and grabbed her face, his slight grin spreading into a wide smile. "Come on, enjoy, laugh, live... and if you don't... well... perhaps I'll just leave you with a permanent smile." He laughed, letting go of her face. "I have business elseware. If you need me, give me a call!" He stated, poofing away in a cloud of pink smoke.
Rain stood there slightly stunned. "Well. That was.. different."
She shrugged again, and headed back down the path toward town, a small grin upon her face and a pink cloud still sitting on top of her head. Rain sighed and trotted a little faster towards her home.
"I wonder what will happen if I eat this cotton candy cloud.." she pondered.
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"Dissccoorrd! Discord?"
Discord appeared in front of Rain, looking down at her. "You called, your majesty?" Discord did a fake bow, his body breaking in half and falling on the floor. "That's not good..." Discord picked up his lower half of his body and screwed it back in place with his upper body.
"Discord... you’re so random!" Rain turned around and closed the notebook on her desk and turned back to Discord, who was currently floating in the air upside down.
"You may not have a unicorn horn but you do have horns and a pair of wings, does that make you an alicorn? You should totally wear a crown as well, and sit upon your own throne. What do you think of that?"
"Ah, what an excellent idea! But why have one of my own when there's a perfectly good throne waiting for me in Canterlot! I'll be back in just a sec~." The draconequus said as he poofed away.
About five minutes later he reappeared, now sporting a black eye and covered in bits of cotton candy. He also looked rather tipsy and fell flat on his face a moment later. "That's what I call a party!... I don't think she approved, but it was better received by her than her guards."
Rain peered down at the faceplanted draconequus.
"Yo, Discord .... .... .... you all right?"
"I-I... doctor... I don't think I'm going to make it... I have a brain injury..." He reached a hoof up and proceeded to unscrew his head, after which he flipped his noggin open like a hatch and pulled his brain out. His brain was bandaged up and had a miniature pair of crutches duct taped to it. He held up the injured brain, his face still pressed into the floor. "Please... save little Corey... please, doctor House..."
"I'm not the house doctor, but I'll see what I can do." She cringed a little, studying the battered brain. "Hmm. I think you have some water on the brain," she said, dabbing at it with a towel. "There. That should do it. I'm not a doctor, but I did attempt to do surgery in school with a butter knife! Before the teacher stopped me.."
Discord dropped the brain back into his skull before turning his head around a few times and sitting up. "Ah! Doctor! I'm cured! ... I think... I feel funny... a-are you sure the procedure was a success..." He fell back over, his head detaching and rolling away. "Doctor, it feels like I'm drifting away from my body... am I dead?"
"No, you're just letting your mind wander. I guess it wants to get ahead in the world," Rain Fires joked.
The headless body sat up and pointed a finger at Rain Fires as the head stopped rolling. "Oh, I like you." Absently, the body retrieved the head and reattached it, Discord picked up Rain Fires with a large grin now visibly present on his muzzle. "And I thought you were gonna be boring."
"True, I‘m awesome. It's not like I intended to be that way, it's how it turns out sometimes." She grinned. "Also good to see you back to normal... Or what passes for it, anyhow."
"Normal?!" He dropped the pony immediately and turned around, huffing in exasperation.
Eyes wide, hooves flailing in the nothingness, Rain could do little as her wings were locked in place and gravity took over, the muffled whumph of impact combining with a large puff of dust, then silence.
From the pony-shaped crater on the ground, a weakened, pained voice was heard: " ...Oww... " Using her forelegs to crawl out of the hole, Rain shook her head to clear the dizziness. "Whuh ... was it something I said?" she croaked before collapsing.
Discord smiled, a wide grin plastered on his muzzle. "Oh, don't be a baby... it was only a small drop... Oh... This is a opportunity I just can't pass up..." Turning around, Discord snaked over to Rain, producing several dozen markers in rapid succession. "Let's see... what should I... Oh! I know!" He rapidly went to work, scribbling all over Rain, occasionally switching colors and moving to the next body part when finished with each area.
"Oh, heheheh... This'll be a laugh... Come on... Juuust a few more... Oh! Lookin' good..." Within a few minutes, he stepped back to admire his work. Leaving a literal pile of markers around Rain, who now had a rather detailed color job that managed to make her look like a draconequus... "Well... Color wise..." Discord chuckled, debating on playing around a bit more. Although he suspected altering a pony's actual body wouldn't go over too well with his current situation.
Discord barked a few laughs before deciding to make himself scarce. "Ta ta, my little pony!" He snapped his fingers and poofed away, hoping Rain wouldn't have quite recovered from her fall and realize what had just happened.
Rain soon awoke. She took a few sniffs wondering what smells. It was familiar, and yet she couldn't quite place it ... Until she saw the pile of markers around her. "What the ... how did ... " she mumbled to herself, looking over her newly-colored self, before realizing what had happened. She let out an exasperated sigh. The fumes from the markers were making her dizzy and causing her to wobble a little bit as she walked to the bathroom. "Hope I have something that'll clean this up ... and it better come off, too!"
Rain looked over herself in a full mirror in the bathroom. "Well... Then again, I do look pretty awesome..." Rain started making poses in the mirror, figuring it's not like anypony could see her right now anyway. Might as well admire her new paintjob.
Author's Note
11/11/16 Edited and reworded a bit. Small changes, nothing major. Gonna see if I can revise and continue this story.
Chaos hath been Doubled (revised)
Discord had just finished helping Fluttershy feed the animals along with some other boring chores when he decided to hunt down Rain, he could sense that mare had potential. Chaotic potential of course!
Discord teleported to where his tracker said Rain was at only to appear in the Everfree forest. Discord looked around and spotted his target flying just below the tree branches of the thick forest. Discord flew towards her, catching up in ten seconds flat.
"Funny running into you here. What are you doing in a boring forest anyway, hmm?" Discord asked. Rain changed her flight path to land on his back as discord kept flying effortlessly.
"I'm looking for some poison joke of course! Now onward my draconequus friend!" Rain pointed a hoof forwards while sitting on Discord's back. "How do you keep finding me anyways? I didn't even expect it to work when I called out your name last time." Rain said, shooting Discord a curious look.
"Welll... I just happen to have a hunch. A very chaotichunch. Now why are you getting poison joke, might I ask?" Discord turned his head all the way around looking at Rain to watch her reaction as she noticed they were flying upside down.
"Huh that's interesting, it seems you messed with gravity. If I jump off of you will I fall towards the sky or twist and fall back towards the ground?" Rain looked 'up' at the ground. Discord didn't expect the random question as he had hoped for some panic of some sort.
"Hmm..." Discord spotted a big area of poison joke and flew towards it. "Hey, since when do you have time to follow innocent ponies around anyways?" Rain said, giving Discord a curious look as she tried to get his attention by scooting up his back and tapping on his deer antler.
Discord ignored the question as he landed next to a patch of poison joke, 'accidentally' pushing Rain off his back and into a patch of poison joke flowers.
"Hey! You did that on purpose didn't you?" Rain threw a poison joke flower at Discord who was currently putting on his best 'innocent' face. It landed on discord's nose as he fell over dramatically.
"OWW! I'M HIT! CRAZY MARE ON THE LOOSE, HELP!" Holding his chest with his lion paw he snapped and a purple mare with a white and purple mane, a propeller hat and purple eyes with swirls instead of pupils appeared next to him. The mare had a cutie mark of a screw and a baseball.
"I'm down, run while you still can, Screwball! Save yourself!" Screwball leaned towards him with tears in the corners of her eyes. "No! Daddy! I'll get revenge or die trying!"
Screwball picked up a poison joke flower and threw it at Rain, who was watching the whole act with an amused look. It narrowly missed its target as Rain moved to the side and tossed a poison joke flower back. Screwball and Rain started randomly tossing poison joke flowers at each other as they tried to dodge each others throws at the same time. Discord was pretending to be dead with his tongue hanging out of his mouth with one mismatched eye slightly open to watch the battle.
As Rain dodged a poison joke flower and began to throw one back she realized Screwball vanished and was nowhere in sight.
She looked up to find Screwball was flying, her propeller hat spinning rapidly as she threw a poison joke flower, hitting Rain in the middle of her face. She dramatically fell over with a hoof across her forehead "...If I don't make it... Tell my sister she still sucks at poker..." Rain then played dead with her legs splayed in different directions with a forehoof still over her forehead.
Screwball stood over Rain in a proud pose in a way which only a mare experienced in battle could. Rain cracked an eye open and noticed Discord was gone. "Hey... Where did Discord go?" Rain got up and before they knew what hit them both Rain and Screwball were hit by clumps of poison joke flowers sailing through the air.
"Ah, there you are Discord. There's no honor in a sneak attack you know!" Rain exclaimed loudly. She got up and noticed Screwball was missing. "Somepony's flankhurt!~" Discord hovered above Rain with a grin on his face.
"Am not!"
"Are too~"
Rain sighed and started picking up some of the undamaged poison joke out of the mess of destroyed poison joke flowers and placed them in her saddlebags. "Fine, I'm gonna laugh when the poison joke plays a joke on you tomorrow and you won't have any of Zecora's bubble bath remedy..."
Rain looked at the draconequus who was currently nibbling on a poison joke flower. "Where did Screwball go off to?" Discord ate the poison joke flower he had been nibbling on. "Oh you know, she's around. Here, there, and yet nowhere. She is my daughter you know." Rain picked up a poison joke flower and nibbled on it like discord had been doing.
"Eww! These are sour, how are you eating these?" Discord shrugged and threw another flower into his mouth, swallowing it whole. "I was curious and wanted to see if they taste the same, I was the creator of these flowers before I was turned to stone the first time. If you keep chewing the flavor changes!"
"YOU made these? Awesome!" Rain nibbled on another flower and sure enough, it changed from sour lemons to a sweet apple flavor in less than a second. "So AWESOME!" Rains smile vanished as the flavor turned to a sweet pear.
"Yes I know, my creation is awesome, I made it after all!" Discord bragged, putting his lion paw to his chest and lifting his head up, not seeing Rain spit her flower out and glare at it.
"These flowers are hellspawn!" She growled, surprising Discord as she took to the air like a bullet. She started heading straight for Ponyville. "WAIT! You didn't answer my question!" Discord teleported next to her in the air. "Whatever are you using the poison joke for?" Rain snorted and looked discord in his mismatched eyes with a frown, her day ruined from having her enemy's taste in her mouth. "Experiments..." Rain muttered. She decided to jump on Discords back and use his ears to steer him to the path she wanted to go. "
"Ow! Gentle on the ears! Why did you run off so hastily? My flowers certainly aren't hellspawn! Or they might be...Who knows?" Discord snapped his claw and turned Rains mane pink when he thought she wouldn't notice. "I hate pears..." She growled.
"Pears? I don't think they're that bad." Discord snapped and a chocolate flavored pear appeared in his lion paw. He quickly took a bite of the fruit before something rudely hit him on the back of the head causing him to spit it out.
"Don't eat that! It's evil!" She spat, kicking the back of his lion arm and causing the chocolaty fruit to fly out of his grasp.
"Hey! but it was chocolate flavored!" Discord whined. "You're the spirit of chaos, eat something else that's chocolate flavored!" she growled to discord. "Okay, mother." Discord muttered.
"I heard that!" Rain said, annoyed.
They were flying closer to town towards the path of Rain's house when she yelled, "DO A BARREL ROLL!" and yanked both ears to one side causing Discord to do a barrel roll. "Woop!" Rain then jumped off his back and flew towards home with Discord in pursuit.
Rain crashed into the door by mistake with Discord chuckling in the background. "Come on Discord, we're going to do a science!"
"Chaotic science? I bet I could help with that." Discord followed Rain into her house, spotting a few jars of liquid rainbow.
"Well, it could be chaotic. Science isn't always predictable after all." Rain closed the door behind Discord and walked over to the desk in her living room, the current location of the liquid rainbow she had been keeping for a while. "We’ll perform the experiment here since it's... Probably not dangerous. This experiment will involve fire, liquid rainbow from the rainbow factory in Cloudsdale, Poison joke, and some glass test tubes."
Discord noticed her cutie mark was fire with a rainbow above it and a small fire at the ends of the rainbow, he wondered how she got a cutie mark like that in the first place. Flames and rainbows? What, did she set a Rainbow on fire? From what little he knew of her, he wouldn't put it past her.
"First I put the liquid rainbow in this bigger jar with the wide opening, then we add some poison joke. Normally I light liquid rainbow on fire and it turns all different colors. Depending on the amount of liquid rainbow, the fire can stay lit for ten to twenty minutes in this container. With poison joke I'm guessing something unpredictable will happen. So I’m adding it to the rainbow liquid before lighting it on fire! Then I-" Rain looked in Discord's direction only to find him asleep on the couch, not listening or caring about Rain's experiment plans. She also noticed the couch was upside-down and was somehow slowly rotating in random directions.
"...Aaand you're asleep. DISCORD! Wake up, I'm trying to do a science!" Discord woke up with a snore, the couch still rotating. "What? You're so boring it put me to sleep, do the thing already. You ponies can be really boring." Rain tossed Discord an annoyed look and put some poison joke petals into the rainbow liquid, the liquid changed to the color of the poison joke petals before slowly reverting back into its original spectrum.
Discord watched with a bored look. He wondered why this mare hasn't even showed a trace of fear, unlike quite a few of the other townsponies. Then again, she didn't make much sense, but what fun is there in making sense? Discord was barely paying attention to Rain, who was currently holding up a few piece of flint and steel. She hit the pieces of flint and steel together making a spark and the liquid set ablaze. The flames were blue like poison joke but there was spectral spots scattered throughout the flame.
Discord turned away from the flame and started painting on Rains walls out of boredom. "Boring!" Discord then drew himself on the wall and around him made a chaotic mess of colors randomly splattered across the wall.
"It's not boring, it's interesting! But it seems to be making blue smoke instead of rainbow smoke, and it's making more smoke then a small fire like this should be normally making. I better crack open a window."
Rain trotted over to the window and opened it, oblivious to Discord's mess of colors on her wall and her now re-arranged living room.
Author's Note
Then a meteor hit Ponyville and they all died. Twice. Except for Discord. The end.
Edit: Revised, minor changes. 11/11/16
Rain turned around to see her walls were a chaotic mess, not surprising considering who did it.
*sigh* "Discord, hand me a paintbrush."
"You aren't going to paint a boring color over my masterpiece are you? Plain colors are so boring."
Rain grabbed the paintbrush out of his claw with a hoof and was surprised to see it change to the color she was thinking of.
"If you were going to paint on my walls you could have at least put a towel on the floor, there's paint all over the place!"
"It's your fault you know~"
Rain sighed. "How is it my fault exactly?"
"Well, you're failing at your job." Rain looked at Discord in confusion.
"What? What job?" Discord looked at her as if he was a teacher explaining something to a student.
"You see, Celestia is trying to limit my chaos and use my powers for good. So, I get bored often. Now, everypony in town is intimidated by my handsomeness, charm, and all around awesomeness." Rain snorted as Discord continued.
Rain sighed. "What do you mean by-" Rain stopped mid sentence and started coughing as she noticed there was a lot more smoke, and it was black rather than blue as it was before.
Discord looked behind Rain to see the container with the experiment was tipped over and a normal fire had engulfed the table. Rain looked behind her and panicked. She ran into the kitchen and got a glass of water, as she ran back into the living room she seen Discord had put out the fire by dumping water on it. She seen a fish flopping around on the floor and noticed it was water from the lake. And her house was flooded. He dumped water on everything...
Discord who was currently flying, snapped and her living room returned to normal. Mostly.
"You should really pay more attention you know, if it weren't for me that could have been dangerous~" Rain walked into her living room muttering around the glass of water about how Discord had been the one distracting her. She set the glass down on her now upside down table.
"Thanks." she said, portraying no emotion in neither her face nor voice.
"You're quite welcome, that's what friends are for, right~?" Discord's ear twitched and he flinched." I have to go now, Fluttershy needs me and it sounds as if she's angry. Until next time, Fires!" Discord 'poofed' away, leaving her living room and colored walls in the same chaotic state he left it after putting out the fire.
"This is the third time he visited me and he already made more chaos in the past few hours than I have experienced in a whole week. Maybe less than a week..." Ponyville does seem to attract trouble more often then when she lived in Canterlot. Maybe I should take a week to visit my parents sometime soon... I kinda miss them even if they don't agree with my life choices, they're still family.
Rain's train of thought was cut off as she looked towards the window just in time to see the elements of harmony galloping towards the other side of town, she noticed Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were the only elements missing. She concluded they were heading towards Fluttershy's house and sighed.
Great, they're probably off to save Ponyville again. she thought.
Rain then walked over to the couch and started bouncing on it with a huge smile. She launched off the couch and tumbled on the floor before running into her room and knocking all the papers off the desk.
"I'm starting to feel very cheery right now! And a little like I want to bounce into a door over and over again! That's probably not good."
"Well, this seems like a good time to go outside before my energy runs out again. But where did I get all this ener-" Rain paused mid-sentence as a thought came to her head.
"Horseapples! The poison joke smoke could've been toxic! What was I thinking..."
Rain ran to her room to burrow through the dresser next to her bed, throwing out random items before pulling out the object she was searching for. Held in her mouth was a piece of chalk, she scrambled into a dry spot in the living room and bent her head down, pressing the chalk against the floor and backing up slowly. She stopped and looked forwards, she managed to draw a straight line.
"Was the line test for altered state of minds or drunks?" She wondered aloud, dropping the chalk.
"Oh well, it should work for both!" She exclaimed. Rain started walking on the line one step at a time, glaring down at the line with a look of determination. She got to the end of the line and tripped.
"Ow! Well, I'm probably not too bad off. I guess I'll go outside for a bit." She said happily.
Rain ignored the chaotic state of her living room, determined to clean it up later. Rain opened her door and trotted down Ponyville, heading towards the park. A few citizens waved to her and she politely waved back, not bothering to try and start a conversation.
As her mind began to drift into her thoughts she tripped on a rather inconvenient pebble, ruining her good mood.
She got up and grumbled angrily, sending the pebble flying with a flick of her hoof.
She looked around and noticed a peculiar sight, a grey pegasus stallion was looking at her with a surprised look. She did a closer inspection and noticed he had a blue mane and a shooting star cutie mark, Rain's ear flicked and she heard yelling behind her, she ignored it wondering why he was looking at her like she was a manticore in mid pounce. His pupils were shrunk and he looked like he was about to yell something, that's when she noticed. He wasn't looking at her, he was looking behind her.
She started turning around when something rammed into her side and she went flying like a rag doll, a surge of overwhelming pain and small spots of blood before her was the last thing she witnessed before the world faded to black.
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Author's Note
Remember foals, don't smoke poison joke. Stay in school dumbasse- er.. I mean, stay in school.
Thanks to ThatPegasusOverThere who both edited and helped me think of the idea for this chapter and some of the next. Seriously, my story would suck if not for his editing, so thanks.
EDIT: revised, minor changes.
