Neither Here Nor Mare

Back To Reality

When I woke again my head was still buzzing, bandages obscuring part of my view. Where was I? A hospital, maybe.

Though the chemical scent was familiar, it definitely didnt look so; I was tucked in bed in a large room with cream walls, earthy coloured paneling, an empty bed near mine and a small TV atop a table on wheels. Towards the middle were a couple of plastic chairs and a full length mirror bolted to the wall in the corner. From here its angle was too sharp to see anything but the reflection of a small bathroom oposite.

Someone had opened a window while I was alseep, I could hear leaves rustling on the tree outside and sunlight was filtering through the billowing curtains, a single brown leaf blew in, dancing on the bedsheets in a ballet across my small form. Small... Was I always this small? I couldn't seem to remember. In fact I couldnt remeber anything except that dream;

Concentrating through a sleepy haze is difficult at best, even on a normal day, today it was even harder still.

Thoughts and sounds like a badly tuned TV set flashed past. Weird snippets of conversation, “pretty bad shape” "...ight wing is a mess but should b.."  right wing.. They couldnt have been talking about me, people don't have wings I assured myself, then I remebered the face. Huge eyes, white fur. I was sure it was something familiar but I couldn't place it.

My chain of thought was broken as the door creaked open just enough to admit what was clearly a doctor.

"hospital"  I murmured to myself breathily, my tongue wanted to stick to the roof of my mouth, my voice had a soft, almost musical quality to it and I could have sworn my un-bandaged ear flicked as the door clicked closed.

“Yes, you're in hospital and you're safe.” said the doctor, "how are you feeling?" I squirmed to sit up but the covers were tucked tight below my muzzle"...muzz.. "Where'd that thought come from? "My chin" I corrected myself. He watched me squirm in the sheets I'd wound round me in my sleep, but to my slight irritation, didn't offer to help.

"My name is Dr Weiss" He explained.  "You had us worried for a while, since the last week in August to be exact"

I craned my neck to look out the window, many of the trees lining the road were bare or sporting the last few stubborn leaves I must have had a confused look on my face as the doctor elaborated further "Its October, you've been out for nearly 5 weeks"

“5 WEEKS!” I practically squeaked the words, flustered. "What happened that would?..."5 weeks was a long time, even in my muddled state I knew that.

Dr Weiss cleard his throat to regain my attention and continued

"First thing is first, you had no I.D when you came in & were out so long that some of the team chose to call you Summer on account of your time of arrival, but now that you're awake, can you tell me your real name?"

"Summer?" my voice cracked in that high pitch again, that didn't sound right to me and I was sure it would get annoying if it kept up. "My name is..is.." I grasped mentally for it, my visible ear drooping as I came up blank, my head was dully pounding and I couldn't think straight.

The doc's frown of concern was obvious and I felt a weight hit my stomach.

"They don't know who I am, and for that matter... neither do I..."

I closed my eyes with a heavy sigh and swallowed. All I could do was mull things through, grasping at anything in my head that would explain my inability to remember my own darned name while he continued.

"Can you remember where you live?"- I racked my brains for a moment but it just wouldn't come, finally I shook my head.- "How about what year it is, what day?"

He seemed to be running through a check list so I followed along, still attempting to untangle myself from the bed. When I'd almost worked myself free he put a hand on my chest lightly, waiting for a reply so I gave him a slightly pained “no” look.

Dr. Weiss hrrm'd and moved his hand, mouthing something and jotting things down in his notes. I gingerly slipped an arm out of the covers.

"Oh GOHDOHGOHDOHGOHD!!!" I started hyperventilating.

There, where there should have been a fleshy pink arm and fingers was a single hard plate like nail that ran around the outer 2/3rds of the end of my forleg," ..arm..no maybe my mind was right the first time, well, stubby not arm thing." I thought, trying to stay rational. It was framed by a short tuft of golden yellow fur that spread up as far as I could see. I yanked the other one out, exactly the same. Full panic kicked in at this point and I thrashed at the bed covers, pins and needles raced up close to my back but not up it, like it was there but wasnt part of it.  Something weird was going on there but for the time being my brain had decided maintaining panic mode was more vital than sanity.

Dr. Weiss had his head already out of the door, calling for help as I tried to launch myself to the mirror in the far corner, flailing on unfamiliar limbs I collapsed head first into a dazed heap.

I pushed and dragged myself into the corner and couldn't help but put a hoof up to it as I studied the reflection of my body.

I was smaller, definietly, and covered from tip to hoof in downy golden fur, my hindlegs a little chunkier than my forelegs but equally hooven. My ears were now at the top of my head, perched either side of an almost firey orange mane, hilighted with a shade between it and the gold of my body where it decended from beneath the bandages. My eyes still held their same familiar aquamarine colour but were like glimmering saucers as I began to well up at the pitiful looking reflection, droplets darkening the freckled cheeks infront of me at a growing pace as what must be my tail curled round instinctively.

"Hummn.."

The mumble was all i could get out as first the nurse from the dream, then another blue pony, a stallion this time barrelled in to the room as I watched in the mirror, followed by another human nurse.

"Human.."

It became a chant, a mantra, growing louder as tears began to streak down my face in earnest. "..human..human...human..human..."

"..Human.."I panted, my voice high with a melodic tinge.."I'm...not ...human!!!" I shouted, about to punch the mirror in denial.

"Summer! Please calm down" The voice of the mare from my dreams seemed to cut through my panic like ice water, harsh, but cool. She was stood right infront of me, looking stern but with that same tinge of concern as when she had been inches from me the first time i woke.The support staff poised to restrain me if necessary. My rage deflated, I flopped to the floor instead. It was only now I noticed her flank was emblazoned with a book and quill, odd.

"...What-” I panted heavily”- ..am I?" my chest still heaving and head pounding like a bass drum.

"This will be difficult to accept, so lets get you back on the bed first" She said, the harshness from before melting away as Doctor Weiss and the other human lifted me, almost like one would a dog, and placed me back on the bed, the blue stallion watching me intently.

"You, like a great many others, have changed into what, for lack of any other description seem to be equines, ponies to use their self determined lable. Dr. Weiss explained.

"We don't know why, we don't know how, but this facility was set up to help.-" The Mare added, pulling the covers across me again, having misread my slight tremor as chill " -I appologise if i startled you earlier."

I winced at the cramping sensation just below my shoulders and gave skeptical look. Despite being uncomfortable i wasnt convinced"This has to be a dream, please be a dream." I'd felt mild pain in dreams before.  Dr. weiss cleared his throat and nodded to the other nurses, who left the room quietly, all but the nurse from what was seeming more and more like a not-dream every second.

"From what we know there seem to be three variations, Earth types, Unicorns like Antonia here.." The mare who'd been attending to me affirmed her identity with a nod " ..and then there are the pegasi . Not many people have changed into pegasi so far, maybe a thousand or so worldwide,  they seem to be the rarest but that would be the category you yourself fall under..."

I thought for a moment, then it hit me.

"I..I have wings?" I perked up and couldnt help a small smirk cross my face..muzzle? at the thought, “maybe this won't be such a bad dream after all.” I muttered.

Antonia looked uncomfortable and Dr Weiss frowned “ I can assure you this is no dream Miss...” he paused at my lack of a name. “I'm afraid Summer will have to do for now.”

I had stopped crying at this point, confused, and was about to correct him on my gender but then remembered those snippets of conversation "..wing is messed up.." Face going ashen I swallowed and tried to twitched where they must be, nothing moved but I winced as the cramping pain upped tenfold.

"Your wings are healing, but I'd rest them for now were I you" the nurse intoned in a way that said I'd have her wrath to face if I tried them out.

Dr weiss continued, speaking almost from writ as he flipped through his notes

"All tests so far have shown that this is neither a virus, nor contagious, DNA samples from pre and post change are perfect matches, ruling out mutations or genetic manipulation.” Closing the notes he looked back at me seriously  “What this also means is that it appears to have been effected at a genetic level, we don't have a way to change you back.”- he looked at me over the rim of his glasses - “This may be permanent "

My heart sank to a new low at this and I felt my ears droop flat against my head. There was an awkward silence, broken only by the rustle of leaves outside and faint echoes from beyond the door of the room.

It was Antonia who finally spoke up,

“You don't remember anything from before you woke up?" she asked in an almost motherly tone.  I shook my head with a sigh, focusing on the wet spots appearing on my bedsheets one by one as the tears started again.

"Maybe thats for the best" she added softly, patting my hoof with one of hers. Hoof touching hoof just felt too weird and I snatched my new appendage back. The mare looked stung slightly but shook it off and smiled.  What could she have meant by that? Now I was even more confused.

Dr Weiss looked as if he was about to say something more, but Antonia brushed past him headed for the door. "I'm sure you both have a lot of questions left, but I think Miss Summer here needs time to rest and think" She said matter of factly.

The exchange of a conspiratorial look between them went unnoticed as I blinked silent tears from my eyes.Dr weiss simply nodded

"Hmm,  I do have other patients to attend to" he added thoughtfully before slipping out.

"I'll be back after I've done my rounds, but do try to get some rest", the white unicorn added as she too slipped out, closing the door behind her.

The sun must have set either before or during my panic I noticed, looking around as I tried to workout what the hell was happening. It wasn't long before the realisation that I was tired crept up on me and I settled back with a yawn, hiding my hooves beneath the covers in the possible hopes this was still a dream. "Maybe it was why I couldnt remember. "

My last thought as sleep drew over me, carried by the sound of rusting leaves was that I forgot to ask why my voice was so high pitched...maybe when I'd slept I'd ask.