Neither Here Nor Mare

by SummerSpritz

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 11628

Summer, thats her name. At least thats what they tell her. Waking up in a strange place is bad enough, but in a strange body where not even you know you? Follow summer as she faces the trials of her new life while rediscovering her old one.

Summer, thats my name. At least thats what they tell me. Waking up in a strange place is bad enough, but in a strange body where no one knows you?!
The old saying "how can you know where you're going, if you dont know where you've been?" has just become the story of my life. You see, I can't even remember my self…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-29 01:34:09 UTC

Morning blues

Morning Blues

I woke to a stuffy darkness, trying to interlock my fingers as I stretched I was taken aback when my hooves made contact, reminding me that I was no longer human with a soft "clop".

Peeling back the covers using my hooves as pincers I was met by a room just as dark as the space under the covers I'd emerged from. Assuming only night staff would be about I decided to fight off the remainder of my covers and tentatively slid down the side of the bed. There was no point in examining myself further, I'd already had a good enough look when I freaked out and I'd probably do the same again if I could see clearly. Instead I decided to ignore the fact my body was.. weird, forcing myself off the bed and wobbling I tried to stay upright.

It was strange, I could wobble a little, but every time I tried to move I found my self pitching forward, it was like some invisible force pressing into my gut, trying to tie it in knots. My hips started to twinge and burn uncomfortably and I landed on all fours with a soft clip-clop.

"I don't care what I look like , I'm still human.." I fumed to myself, leaning against the bed again, maybe if I turned round.. I lasted just a little longer this time and managed a half step before succumbing to the same tension in my gut and hips. This body just wasn’t designed to be like this, but I'd be damned if I was gonna run round like an animal.

"Come ON, my stubbornness has got me through worse than this, like when I got thrown out of.."

I faltered as a memory flitted through my mind, an argument. I couldn’t bring a name to mind, but the face was familiar, important even but I'd been angry, stormed off.

Noticing I was on all four hooves again I kicked out at the bed, sending it sliding a couple inches, my wings shooting out for balance.

“AHA! who says you cant be smart and stubborn”

Pushing up again I used my wings for balance, I managed to get as far as the small bathroom before having to fold my wings to get through the door.

"YES! round one to me eh-oh-OH" my hips trembled in rebellion and I plopped down to all fours again, striking the door with a loud crack sending it bouncing on its limits to smack back into me, feeling stupid and hoping no one had heard me I quietly closed it behind me.. then frowned.

This place was way too big, even rearing up with my hooves braced on the basin I couldn't see more than the tip of my ears or tip of my nose in the high mirror.

"Right, toilet" I said to myself, glad the lights in here at least were automatic. ...how do ponies go to the toilet?

I didn’t think I'd fit on the standard toilet, getting up there would be a bit of a pain too. I considered the walk in shower and its floor drain, cheeks turning crimson . "No, I only look like an animal..."

"What did a horses equipment even look like?" I hadn’t really paid attention back when I did biology and I wasn't a vet either. I craned my neck under myself to take a look..

If anyone had been there to see my face they would have found it either adorable or hilarious; my pupils shrank to near non existence and my bandaged ear freed itself with a twitch before I let out a scream in that same way girls usually do when confronted with a spider.

"I'M A GIRL!! I CAN'T BE  A GIRL, I know I wasn’t one, why the hell am I one now?" My mind was reeling, once again I started to tear up. Every time I opened my eyes lately everything got turned upside down and I didn’t even have a reference point in my past to latch onto. It wasn't FAIR!

A knock at the bathroom door grabbed my attention, someone had definitely heard me.

"Are you OK in there, I heard a bang and screaming" The voice was male, kinda husky in a sexy kinda.. I shook my head, clearing the chain of thought. "Definitely not ready for that"

"I'm fine, its OK, I uh." -I wiped away my tears and thought for a moment, what was I going to say? I freaked out because I'm missing a life long friend? Pfft, no, much as I hated the thought of stereotypes I guessed this one wouldn’t hurt- ..Saw a spider, those things are seriously creepy, but its gone now"

I sniffled again, having no trouble sounding a little embarrassed and upset at the situation.

"Are you sure, I can come catch it if you want, no problem" the voice outside persisted, if I didn’t know better I'd say he just wanted to be nosy.

I launched myself at the door as the knob took on a shimmering green glow and started to jiggle. Front legs moving awkwardly, I clamped my mouth on it when my hooves couldn’t get a grip. "YICK.." It tasted like copper, dirt and I didn't want to think what the other one was.

"Ush hine luhlee" I mumbled round my mouthful. If this is what door knobs tasted like I didn’t want to think about all the other things I might have to use my mouth for.

After a grumble about stubbornness the owner of the voice left, I immediately tried to rinse my mouth out, thankfully the taps had all had push type tops fitted, eventually I gave up trying to get my mouth under the taps as there just wasnt space,  resorting to soaking a towel and sucking on it before managing to actually use the toilet. I'll definitely miss standing, I can tell you that.

When I finally decided I was done I grabbed the door knob with my hooves, it jiggled but failed to turn. “You'd think they'd use actual handles..” I muttered, vexed at how the day was going, it wasn't even sunrise yet.

I tried using my mouth again, gagging at the taste and tried to turn my head while biting down, causing the knob to spin across my tongue, I let go as a foul taste made me retch. Just as I poked my tongue out flat in disgust the door clicked open with that green glow again and I came face to face with Mr Voice.

The blue Stallion from the previous night had to stifle a laugh at the sight before him, the mare's red mane half squashed flat and dripping as her overly expressive face contorted into one of the strangest expressions he'd ever seen.

“I just wanted-" snirk "- to be sure after your performance earlier. We-” He glanced at the damage I'd done to the door, then the mess of soaked towels, then to my damp and tear-streaked face ”-do have restraints if necessary.”

“Great” I tried to flip my wet mane from my face with a hoof, loosing my balance and flopping to the floor like a clumsy foal.

“The first person I meet post freakout and he thinks I'm a nut job”

From down here I could see his flank, he had one of those weird tattoos like Antonia but his seemed to depict a heart shaped padlock. I blushed when he blocked my view with his face, big mint green eyes narrowing.

“Something interesting there?”

“Uh, no, I just uh..I mean your..” Damn it, I was blushing again, what the heck was wrong with me?

“I'm kinda sensitive about it” He added as he held out a hoof to pull me back up to a sitting position, he was still taller than me dammit. “I'm Leroy, night porter for the dorms since we converted them, though everyone keeps calling me love lock since that thing appeared. I hate nicknames”

“Uhm, Summer” I replied, trying not to look like a complete derp, I'd been staring at him blankly. “And thank you, but I'm fine, this body just sucks is all.”

A fleeting spark crossed the stallions eyes and he seemed to perk up at some inner realisation.

“You're the mystery mare! Oh man this is awesome. We had bets going on when you'd wake up, I lost 20 bucks but it's no biggie, some didn’t think you would...” His tail curled against his flank as he spoke, I guessed it must be a subconscious thing since I couldn’t seem to control mine either.

I closed my eyes to compose myself, this guy had all the tact of a flying brick and was definitely a kid, maybe 20 at a push, uni student maybe?

I put on my best and most polite 'you're irritating me' face and he seemed to get the message as I stood up again with a slight wobble, headed for the window where the lightening blinds were indicating sunrise. I only lost my footing twice on the way there, Leroy taking it upon himself to snag my tail with his teeth as my hind legs slid out from under me, yanking painfully was enough to sour my mood further.

“Look-” I said in the calmest tone I could muster, noticing he was still looking at me like my face had just sprouted dandelions ”-I'm not having a good day, I just woke up, found I have no memories, hell I'm not even human and no one thought to tell me. I can't walk properly, I'm a hell of a lot shorter than I’m sure I should be and you looking at me like I'm crazy isn’t helping, so unless you're going to tie me to the bed like a loon kindly take your tattooed blue butt to the door and leave.” I sighed and tried to climb onto the bed, ignoring the guilty expression on his face as he studied his hooves.

“Sorry, I was just trying to help..” he said to the floor, meanwhile I'd given up on the bed, pulling the covers onto myself instead. I kinda felt bad now, "Maybe I should give the guy a chance" He hadn’t jumped on me the day before after all.

“Tell you what” I piped up in a faux cheerful tone “Show me where I can get something to eat and find Dr Weiss or Antonia and I'll forget about the bets you mentioned” He seemed to brighten at this and after helping me finish drying my mane, we headed out for the cafeteria.

Stair Mare (Or "Dammit, Everyone's Staring At Me")

Stair Mare

(Or "Damn It, Everyone's Staring At Me")

All was quiet as we made our way through the corridor, Leroy had opted to stay silent but still kept looking back at me. I'm sure it was because I was so clumsy. The corridor outside my room was lined with potted plants in an efort to make it seem less clinical and naturally, when I turned to check the door number I backed into one, knocking it over with my tail and slipping on its spilled contents.

Right now he was saying nothing, but his face screamed "Please don't make a scene". That was something else to keep in mind, it looks like pony faces, along with their..well, our ears are far more expressive than those of a human. Just another thing to learn to control I guess.

I huffed and kicked at the floor, immediately causing myself to overbalance as my hind legs continued to move. I'd been so engrossed in my solo pity party that I didn't notice the poor orderly heading towards us until I'd already clotheslined her with my wings, which had shot out instinctively to half span.

“Uh, sorry” I said offering a hoof sheepishly. All I got in return was a glare from her and a sigh from Leroy as her paperwork took on that green sheen, sorting itself into a levitating pile. I sat with my jaw opened in awe as I noticed the horn on his forehead shared the same aura. She thanked him, ignored me and resumed her journey to wherever she was going before we resumed our own.

“What was that about?” The blue stallion chided, cutting me off before I could ask anything.

“Tripped, I'm not used to, well, this..-I gestured to the whole of myself with a hoof as I spoke, remembering to stop walking first this time- “remember?”

Leroy shook his head with a sigh and lead on.

I'd actually had no idea the place was so big as we reached a mid point landing, an elevator sat in the recessed wall to our left, the hallway on the other side narrowed again into what must be another wing of the building. Leroy brought my attention to him again.

“I thought you were hungry?”

I should have guessed by the room numbers, if mine was 227 then it was just like my old dorm back in college.. “HEY!”-I perked up substantially, voice raised in excitement as I forgot what time it was- “I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING!”

“Hey yourself, somponies are trying to SLEEP!” Came a muffled reply from the door at the end of the wing we had just come from. ”Oops”

“Well that's a good thing” Leroy called back in a hushed voice ”But if we don’t hurry everyone will get there before us” There was an unmistakeable hint of frustration in his voice. Apparently I'd just woken up the entire floor, judging by the sounds of movement.

Trotting confidently I stopped at the top of the stairs he was half way down, hit by a sudden wave of vertigo as I dropped a hoof to the first step. “Uh, is..is this the only way down?” I asked, heart finally moving back down from  its perch in my mouth.

“No, but the lift is out of date and real slow, it was due for replacement before all this happened but they never got around to it. This is the quicker of the two”

“But..”

Leroy face-hoofed, I guess I was trying his patience now “Stop being such a foal and turn round”

“A what?”

“Foa..." -he sighed again, just short of another face-hoof, a lopsided frown on his face- “ a baby horse!”

I had to move slowly and carefully down the stairs, it felt ridiculous but at least I wouldn’t land so hard if I fell this way round. I tried to flick my mane as I passed the first floor so that my face was hidden, already more than a dozen ponies, unicorns and normal ones mostly, had already trotted past us. Some gave me a sympathetic glance, others gave snorts of derision and one just plain laughed, god this was embarrassing.

I finally stopped at the bottom when I backed into and almost sat on my self appointed handler.

“Hey, watch it” He said, skipping back before I really did sit on him.

“I'm not a foal” I said quietly as I turned back round to face the right way.

“When you stop acting like one, I'll stop talking to you like one” He smirked, I was blushing again and had to fight the urge to poke my tongue out.

He'd been right, by the time we reached the canteen it was nearly packed to the rafters, the last of the small night shift having their dinner meal while the early arrivals sought breakfast. We opted to go back after I'd seen Antonia. Right now I wanted some answers, there had definitely been three voices in my first dream before she'd scared me half to death and I'd apparently beamed myself.

I wanted to know everything they knew as it seemed like that was the only way I'd know who I was. A memory of college here and an argument there really weren’t anything to go by. I was one confused and messed up pony and the sooner I could do something about it the better, Leroy seemed to agree with me when he helped me clean up, though he hadn't probed me about my outburst. This was going to be fun.

Leroy herded me over to the reception desk, having taken up a position behind me to make sure I didn’t flail and hit anyone I guess. When we got there I was met by the only face I could claim familiarity with.

“Uh, Antonia?” I squeaked. "Damn it, stupid girly voice"

The white mare looked up at me, smiling when she realised who it was. “Good morning Summer, I'd say you're up early but everyone seems to be today” "Paranoid mode engage" I was sure that was a poke at my earlier antics, did everyone know?  “But it is good to see you up and about after so long. What can I do for you?”

I checked to see who was around, a little disheartened that Leroy had vanished without a sound.

“I uh, I don’t know where to start, could I talk to you for a while...about me?” I suddenly felt very nervous, wings puffing up in a similar way to a birds, making me shudder at the alien sensation as new muscles were flexed "Weirdest sensation ever"

“I don’t see why not, my rounds don’t actually start for another half an hour, why don’t you come into my office?” She said, lifting the flap in the desk and gesturing to one of the rooms behind it.

It wasn’t a very big space, but it had a small sofa, table and desk and the carpet squished softly, muffling my hoof-steps.

Antonia had busied herself making tea which I accepted, I sat for a few minutes staring at it, wondering how I was going to drink it until I gave up and stuck my face in the cup.

I couldn’t look at Antonia and my cup at the same time but I'm sure I heard her splort her tea at my solution. "Not all of us can float cups to our faces.." I thought jealously. I really missed having fingers.

“What was it you wanted to talk about?” She asked, sitting on the small sofa. I wiped the moisture from my face with a fetlock as I sat on the other side of the table, feeling the soft carpeting on my rump.

“Well, I noticed something when I woke up.. "  How was I going to phrase this without it sounding like an accusation? "Ah to hell with it" I thought, the indignance at the omission flaring up “Why didn’t you tell me I was a Mare?!” I spat the words as as the anger came and went in a flash, replaced with regret at the outburst.

She seemed confused for a moment before a wave of clarity washed over her, her eyes seeming to lose some of their shine. “Oh Summer... " Her cup floated back onto its saucer on the table as she slid off the sofa  "You weren't female before the change, were you?”

“I know, I wasn’t, what.. how could this happen?” I asked, stomping frustratedly, my hoof giving a soft poomf against the carpet. "Gah! Not.Going. To. Cry" Just my moodswings alone were giong to kill me off at this rate.

“Honestly, I'm not sure, but if it helps, you aren’t the first. Your comments did seem odd when you woke up, but considering how distraught you were I thought it best to not say anything until this morning. We weren’t expecting you up this early.” she added, leaning forward to place a hoof on my shoulder.

“There is probably a reason, the change isn’t completely random, there are patterns involved. Perhaps you should speak to my husband, its more his field than mine and you're due a physical this morning anyway, standard for new and newly recovering patients.”

“Your husband?” I asked quizzically. It hadn’t occurred to me that this had affected people in relationships.

“Yes, I'm Antonia Weiss, Samuel is my husband.” she added, her tone prideful as she smiled.

“Have you had any other luck with your memory? It can take a while for things to come back but it never hurts to be optimistic.” she continued.

“Oh, I remembered a few things this morning, this building is similar to my college and I think I remember an argument” I answered “Though I don’t see how any of those are actually helpful”

We continued the conversation as I finished what tea I hadn't spilt everywhere, Antonia was nice enough not to make a point of my sloppiness, but did explain that my emotional swings were part of being female. As if I wasn't enough of a nut already.

Our conversation was interrupted when my stomach gurgled its own contribution and I couldn’t help but laugh, mood having lifted a little.

“Well it sounds to me like the biggest priority for you is food, now go eat something before you pass out dear, you're looking a bit pasty” Antonia chided with barely hidden amusement, back to her motherly tone from the previous day.

"First Leroy and now her, I really wished people would stop that, I was a grown man. In a female pony body, yes, but still a man" Being talked down to was irritating me, big time.

I thanked her for the tea and the talk, heading back outside and retracing my steps to the canteen with more questions than answers. "And you forgot to ask about the third voice, you derp" I mentally kicked myself, that had been the point in seing her in the first place. I was at the canteen doors before realised I hadn't stumbled at all since reaching the ground floor. Finally, something positive! This walking on all fours thing wasn’t so bad when I didn't concentrate on it.

The Taste Of Carrots (or Tray Manifique)

The Taste Of Carrots

(or Tray Manifique)

The canteen area was almost deserted as I halted on the threshold, a light nudge on my flank startling me as the doors swung shut. The talk with Antonia had taken up more time than I'd thought and  groups occupying tables seemed to be mostly human. I could see a purple mane at one and that was definitely a white one at the back, a grey colt resurfaced from his food as I watched, clumps of oats clung to his face getting a few laughs from the others sat with him. Flicking my ears in dismissal I headed for the stack of trays at the end of the counter near the doors.

"Everything's going to be a challenge today huh?" I said to no one in particular, the trays were the type that stacked inside each other and I wasnt exactly sure how I was going to pick it up. "Maybe if I.."

I tried poking the edge of the top one with a hoof, trying to get it under the thin lip. "Hmm, how about.." this time i turned my hoof over, the tray lifted slightly but dropped back into place.

"Oh a smart ass huh?" I stared at it for a moment, stomach growling encouragement as I formulated a new plan. Poking my tongue out I tried the same trick, but with a twist. Holding it on my tongue this time and trying to slip a hoof under the raised edge. My tail swished away happily on its own. I almost had it, just a little further..

"Kerghm!"

Someone cleared their throat, right in my ear. So intense was my concentration that I hadn't noticed the 30 or so pairs of eyes fixed on me. On the table I could still see from here people had stopped mid chew, one eating cereal's milk filled spoon suspended above their bowl. The look that caught my attention most though was the one of a certain horned blue pony who'd ditched me earlier, somewhere between amused and embarrassed on my behalf as he made his way over.

I pulled my tongue back in and shrunk back down to the floor, feeling as rediculous as I had probably looked as the throat clearer, a mint coloured mare with a matching, flowing mane and tail delicately pulled her lips back, taking one of the trays and snorting with contempt as she passed me. Everyone else had gone back to their meals now the spectacle of the fail pegasus was over.

My hind hooves seemed to have become really interesting, but actually I was just really willing myself to implode.

"You are such a foal" Leroy towered over my slumped position, but he seemed far less grumpy than he was earlier, maybe even cheerful.

"You ditched me" I frowned at him, but he ignored my comment, nudging me to get up, careful to avoid any bandaged areas.

"Take it with your teeth -" he pulled back his lips just like the mare before him and gripped the edge of a tray with his teeth "-rike Dish"

I took the other side of it hesitantly, I really didnt like the idea of mouthing everything and biting down where everypony else already had, but I was hungry and the queue was quite short now, or should I say queues. Two peach coloured ponies in one, a human guy in scrubs and a woman in the business suit in the other. Leroy did his best to explain that the equines were in the veggie queue for some reason, but I lost interest, I hadn't eaten a solid meal for weeks and I'd be damned if I was going to start with rabbit food.

Concentrating on not stumbling more than I could help (it started the moment I got self concious), I headed straight for the human queue, took a deap breath infront of the splash guard...and instantly regretted it.

The meat stank. I mean really stank, like rotting corpses or that one time I'd lost a slice of pizza under the couch for a week.. "ooh more useless memories"I was actually too focused on not throwing up to care. "Ugh, what the heck are they serving?!"My tray clattered to the floor as my coat took on a slight green hue as I heaved. I shuffled back into Leory again.

"AS I was trying to tell you; We can't stomach meat any more, can't digest it, so no more bacon or beef burgers. But if it is any consolation, carrots and apples are amazing." He was drooling just thinking about them.

After retrieving my tray (and stomach) we grabbed my food with no further problems. My personal escort decided to pick my food for me, piling it high with some tomatoes, a whole stack of carrots, an apple and a pancake type thing with a strangely green tint to it, alfalfa apparently. It irked me to have someone treat me like a kid, even more so since Leroy was obviously younger than me, and more still because everyone seemed to be doing it, but I was begining to enjoy his company. It was like having a brother.

"Try the carrots" He suggested excitedly as we sat back at his table in the far corner, there had been just enough room left for me and though he hadn't introduced me to any of the party formally, our three table mates were friendly enough.

"Its just a carrot.." I said, giving him an incredulous look as I sniffed it. It smelled like... a carrot, what else was it going to smell like?

Picking it up with my teeth I snapped a couple times, using my tongue to get it further in. All four seemed on tenterhooks as I did so, like it was the event of the century. I bit down slowly and was greeted by an explosion of flavour, a tiny bit sour on the outside but oh my god, it was amazing! It was like eating a raw pepper at first, slightly firey, sending a prickly wave across my gums, making my mouth water before mellowing out to a sweet aftertaste wherever a chunk sat on my tongue. If you'd told me before I woke up that I'd have a joygasm over a carrot I'd have called you nuts. Actually no, I'd probably have snored, but you get what I mean.

I dug in without talking, not caring that I had to resort to craming my face into the pile of food like a dog. The apple was the same, not firey this time but amazingly sweet, not being used to my new jaw I accidentally bit into a seed, they were kind of almond-y but with a sour peanut aftertaste that some how made the apple just taste sweeter. The tomatoes tasted like a mouthfull of a breezy summer day and the alfalfa pancake was..interesting. Not as amazing as the other foods, but still tasty.

I found out later that the first proper meal for new patients had been a big thing until the number of admissions had petered out, mostly because of how funny and varied the reactions were. Turns out pony folk have a very different set of tastebuds to humans, just another thing to get used to I guess.

After stuffing my face with a second helping, much to the amusement of Leroy and his workmates , we  headed out into the main common area again to pass the time until my physical. I hadn't really paid atention earlier, but the wide room was quite spacious, set up with tables at one end where the younger patients were having group activities, a TV 3 or 4 small groupings of comfortable sofas or chairs around low coffee tables a vending machine and a Table  to one side of the main doors that served as a reception desk. Antonia was nowhere to be seen, most likely on her rounds.

Sitting down was a new experience. It took a few minutes to find a comfortable position, sat on a chair with my rear legs splayed slightly wasn't an option as I was still fully aware that most every pony here was naked and the human within wouldn't let it go. I opted for a slumped position with my arms -"No, forehooves. May as well get used to it."- tucked under me. Now that we were both in a better mood I wanted to ask some more questions.

"Leroy, how long have you been a pony?" I asked.

"Since day one, I woke up like it, same as nearly everyone else. What about you?"

"Okay, this is much better than this morning" I mused, brightening up a little more."Not a clue, amnesia, remember"

He pulled his mouth to one side, a little quirk I'd noticed him do when thinking

"Oh right..well, what do you remember?"

"Not enough" I shook my head "I don't even know how I got here, was hoping the Doc could help with that." Dammit, stupid body. My ears had drooped of their own accord. I really hate how expressive pony bodies are.

Leroy leaned against me as if to give a hug, then pulled back with that same mouth twitch. "Discomfort" I refiled the quirk mentally.

"I can't give you a name, but I know where they came from, there's a club a few blocks from here, Dubs, I think. He was wearing their staff ID" A wave of relief washed over me, "Finally, a starting point" I was hugging him tight round the neck before I'd even thought about it, body on autopilot. Then I felt really creepy, I was a guy dammit, and that wasn't a bro hug, not even close.

"So, what's the deal with the names?" I asked awkwardly, wanting to change the subject and forget it had happened.

"...names?.." He replied, a little spaced out.

"Yes, Mr Lovelock, the names." I smirked when he snapped to and cringed at my use of the nickname.

"Beats me, something everypony started to do, something to do with the butt stamps. You'd be better off asking Doc Weiss, but from what I was told they have some kind of importance.  Least thats what I've heard." He finished with a shrug, indicating there wasn't much else to say on the matter.

An awkward silence hung over us, my right wing twitching painfully as I resettled them. Leroy fidgeted too, rocking a little from side to side before speaking "So, my shift was over thirty minutes ago and I have stuff to do, see ya." Then he just left me stood there as I watched him saunter out of the main doors.

"I think he likes you" My ears flicked at the hushed voice behind me as the doors closed and I looked round to come face to face with a brown stallion who I recognised from the canteen.

"Miss Summer? Name's Herb, Dr. Weiss is busy so I'll be running you through your medical." A lanyard round his neck told  me his full name was 'H. Remedy: General Practitioner' and I tried not to cringe when my mind filled in his first name..Herbal Remedy... "Weird names I can deal with, but puns, seriously?"

Bitter Ends (Or "The Truth Hurts")

Bitter Ends

(Or The Truth Hurts)

We wended our way to the right side of the common space and I couldn’t help smiling at the group of foals as we passed them, smiles all round and various bottles of paint and brushes strewn about under the watchful eye of one of the human staff as they painted. I want to call it finger painting but it's kinda hard when none of them have fingers any more. Stopping to look at my own hoof I couldn’t help feeling a keen sense of loss, all those things I probably took for granted that I'd no longer be able to do without them..

"Hi"

Putting it back down revealed a small purple face beaming up at me with big pink eyes, a wet picture in their mouth. She had orange and yellow paint splotches smeared across her cheeks and a dab of blue on her horn. The other foals seemed to be watching our exchange intently, muttering while waiting for my reaction.

"I pairnted yoo" She added excitedly. I had to turn my head a little and squint just a bit, but I have to admit it did sorta look like me, the bandages looked wrong though. "why am I in a straitjacket?" I was tempted to ask but those eyes just looked so happy and innocent.

"Uh, yeah its..nice, looks just like me, thank you" I finally managed to get out before she went cantering off back to the table excitedly, speaking to some of the others faster than I could keep up. I only caught one of the remarks "..told you she was crazy"

"Even the kids think I'm crazy" I rolled my eyes, spotting Dr. Remedy I caught up with him, ducking into a room with waterproofed linoleum flooring and a low plastic table fixed in its centre. It quickly struck me that it looked more like a veterinary clinic than a human one, kinda fitting I guess but still kinda creepy. I still wasn't ready to abandon my humanity completely, not just yet.

Dr Remedy shut the door before gesturing to a measuring device near the wall. "OK, if you could just move over to the wall there, I'll take a few measurements and we can get started" he said cheerfully.

He spent the first few minutes checking my height from hoof to poll, then my length and the size of my barrel. I did begin to wonder why such a tedious job had gone to an earth pony when it required tape measures and fine movements, but it did give me time to think more. I knew I had to find some way to talk to Dr Weiss or Antonia again but the problem was going to be when.

I jolted as my right wing was lifted. "OW watch it, that was wrapped for a reason!" I snapped testily.

The physician pony, whom I now knew was actually a vet had my wing unwrapped and the carpal joint in his lips with the wing half spread. He let it go gently at my protest where it began twitching.

"My apologies, I did ask you to raise it but you seemed to be off in the clouds. I'm sorry if that hurt, but your notes do specify that they need to be checked." He  seemed to take things a little slower after that. Probably because of my outburst.

Checking my wings didn’t take long, him asking me to raise them both as far as I could, checking the range of motion while pausing to write down numbers and notes every few seconds. He was also kind enough to name the parts of my new limbs: Primaries, Secondaries, Axillaries, Culverts.. I'd had no idea they were that complex and gained a new appreciation for them.

My left wing seemed OK, all the feathers were present, I could tilt it forward and back, fully extend it or tuck it tight, I could even rotate the very tip feathers,

When I tried the same with the right it was a different story, I could barely lift and stretch it out to half way without it quivering, half the primaries had been removed and all but two of the secondaries were missing.

The way he kept making "hmm" and "ahh" noises and the way his face kept scrunching were a bit worrying but then he moved on to check my mouth, I already knew that I couldn’t stand the smell of meat, but it was interesting to know why and exactly how that part of me changed.

"We aren't quite like normal equines, but close enough that we're vegan by design, no  canines, you have incisors but they aren’t as sharp as a humans. Basically our teeth are designed for grinding, not rending." He explained, managing to fit an entire hoof in my mouth as he checked them.

I felt like I should ask something "So I couldn't eat meat even if I wanted?"

"You could probably pulverise it into swallow-able form but I'd advise against it, you won't be able to digest it and all you'll do is make yourself ill." The look on his face told me these were words of personal experience.

"Lift your right hoof please? Other right." he added with a chuckle as I initially lifted the left one.

I giggled and flinched as he brushed that funny little bit in my hoof, I'd always thought a horses hooves were solid but there’s a soft bit in the middle called a frog and its very sensitive.

He finished checking the other three despite my giggling like a filly.

"Well there isn’t any damage to your hooves, you'll need to keep them manicured to keep them from splitting out at the edges if you walk on hard surfaces a lot."

Next were my ears, followed by my nose, then my eyes. The light he shone in them made them water and I grimaced at a fleeting memory, of pain and light spots. I decided not to say anything.

With that he busied himself finishing up notes while I occupied myself by spreading my good wing,  reminding myself of the names of the different parts.

My mind wandered back to how badly mashed the other wing was,  I couldn't fly with just one. What was the point in having wings if I was going to be grounded? Luckily Dr. Remedy had finished his notes before I could start dwelling on it too much.

"Well young lady, your wing is a little concerning but hopefully it will heal given time, other than that you're in fine health for a mare of 14, possibly the fittest I've seen this week. Now I'd just like to take another blood test and you're all set to.."

"Waitwaitwait!" I interrupted "that can't be right, I went to college already, I'm 24, not 14"

I walked over, trying to see the notes over his shoulder, I couldn't make heads nor tail of the details in it but he moved aside for me to look anyway. Both of us a little perplexed.

"Are you sure you aren’t remembering incorrectly? The notes are right here." The brown pony flipped pages of my records, there must have been a good dozen or so, right back to the 2nd page where the initial summary was.

"See here? According to the initial medical reports you're between 13 and 16, though I'd say you can't be a day over 14"

It still made no sense to me, but something else had caught my eye. the first few pages had slipped out of the manilla folder and were poking out at an angle.

Female equinoid admitted at 02:43 hrs.  No identification present, conscious but not compos mentis, patient has deep lacerations to right shoulder area and face, bleeding from cranial contusions, severe dislocation of ri..

My sudden interest hadn't gone unnoticed as Dr. Remedy closed the folder. Carefully straightening the pages with his hooves, he gave me a similar stern but caring look as Antonia had that morning.

"Miss Summer, I know you want to know how you arrived, while I can't deny you outright, as your doctor I would ask that you think carefully before requesting your medical record.  Your well being is the top priority now and I agree it wouldn’t help get wound up, particularly in your current state of recovery. Just know that you are a very lucky young mare to be making such a swift recovery."

His expression went from solemn to sunny again, back to how he'd been while I was laughing my tail off.

We continued the conversation as he took a blood sample, my wing distracting me from the quick scratch of the needle in my thigh.

"As for your age, we have had a few other cases like this, equines seem to have better health by default any way, but just consider the youthfulness as a trade off for the lack of thumbs." He smiled again, unclipping the vial, removing the needle and taping a cotton ball over the spot before opening the door to the common area, gesturing me out to where the smell of the evening meal was already permeating the air. I sniffed as I stepped out, Waldorf salad and...ooh, rice pudding. "Yum." I turned back to him, feeling a little happier at the prospect of food and with his reassurance that my wing would heal eventually. I was still getting used to my new voice but even I had to admit that accent it came with gave it a sweet, almost melodic flavour when I was cheerful. "Thank you Dr Remedy"

"Please Summer, we're not quite as formal here as a normal hospital, call me Herb or Herbal"

"Thank you  Herbal" I corrected my self before heading off to see if there was somewhere I could relax, today was barely half way through and I was already feeling exhausted and sore from all the prodding and poking.

Spotting bean bags near a group chatting away on the sofas in the corner, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to curl up for a bit, none of the sofa occupants seemed to mind as approached. Ignoring the snippets of conversation around me, I browsed through some of the magazines sat on a low coffee table but nothing really caught my eye. I was half tempted to hop on one of the big leather monstrosities but instead I settled in to one of the deep bean filled masses, wiggling to get it just right .

My wing was still throbbing a little and my thoughts went back to Herbal's diagnosis. I hadn't had wings when I was a human, but now I did I really couldn't wait to use them properly.   “How much longer would it take to heal? What kind of state had I been in for it to take more than five weeks? What if it didn't heal and I couldn't fly?” I cut the chain of questions off before they could continue. Maybe I could try soon, but right now I was content to stay right where I was. Curled up in the encompassing warmth of a bean bag, surrounded by others in the same situation as me, it only took a few minutes before I started to drift off to sleep.

I was angry and I felt sick. ”What the hell am I supposed to do now?”I kicked a discarded can, watching it spin off down the pavement. I shouldn't have told her so soon, I was sure she'd understand, I thought we'd known each other long enough and then whatever was in that drink..

I now had nowhere to stay in a foreign city and had nothing but my wallet and a bag of clothes to my name.

The club had been her idea. “Come check out the night life, it'll be fun.” That had worked out brilliantly, yeah. Instead of finally being together with her in her apartment, knowing,  I was alone getting soaked in the rain and it was dark. ”Why did I accuse her of spiking it too? Anyone could have slipped something in it, I'd left it for a full three minutes when I'd stormed off to the mens...I was an idio..urgh..”

The pain in my gut made me double over, 3am was no time to be ducking into alleyways but I'd rather keep my dignity than lose it out in the open, another tourist who can't hold their booze. Vomiting behind a dumpster until I was dry heaving, I wiped my face. I could have done with a shave today. I could feel stubble, thicker than my usual day old style I favoured for the ladies, this was longer but strangely finer.

Soaked, panting and alone. Maybe they'd thought it was hers, it felt like I'd been roofied but..argh!

My thoughts were cut off as I doubled over again, no vomit this time but the sensation of barbed wire ripping through my intestines, the pain was making me dizzy and sending me off balance. I reached a hand out to the wall for support.

My head was pounding harder now as lightning seemed to dance behind my eyes burning deep arcs across my line of sight, each one a bright flash before fading to purple. Another convulsion racked my body as I staggered deeper, trying to get as far away from the harsh street lights as I could, my shirt collar seemed to have tightened and I grappled with it, fingers numb and stiff, I felt my ears pop once, twice, then nothing, just the speedy thud of my pulse racing until that too was gone. I needed help, there were voices at the other end of the alley, towards where I was headed. “HELP!” I pleaded breathily.

They probably couldn't hear me so I tried again “Please help me...” my voice trailed off to a whisper, my lips moved soundlessly, still I stumbled forward.

The world started to spin as fire traced my spine, lancing out around my chest, waist and thighs in a vice like grip, I panicked, still struggling towards my goal, feeling like my very soul was on fire. I stripped off feverishly, landing hard on my hands and feet as I finished the task. A gout of  liquid pain erupted from my coccyx as my shoulder blades popped in unison with my jaw then suddenly, nothing. No sounds, no sight, not even a heart beat or a single dot.

As quickly as it went, the world was awash with sound again, every patter of raindrops causing strange sensations in my temples, and a world far more vivid than before with hues I couldn't even name.

I scrunched my eyes up to clear my head, my fingers and toes were still numb but there was no pain.

I gingerly crawled forwards, movements accompanied by a soft wet clip clop-clop, my vision was still swaying and I stumbled out into the open to be met by giants.

The group were twice my size, maybe more and all 5 had their backs to me. “heoolpf?” A voice not my own uttered my words, the simple request slurred and in a soft but pained tone.

They all stopped as one, the shortest turning to face me with the most sinister grin I'd ever encountered.

“Looks like we've got another of them freaks boys”

“Who's up for a pony ride?”

“Nah, it looks like a piñata, lets split it open and see what's inside”

A glob of alcohol laden spit bridged the gap between the last speaker and my self, landing on my face as a primal chill ran through me. ”not help”

I felt strange legs moving wide as I tried to stand up, casting a shadow ahead of me..not legs...wings? “n-no” that voice again, my voice. I backed up as a glint of metal caught my eye, a baseball bat being brought into view by one of the others, he hefted it to shoulder height as if getting ready to pitch.

“Go back where you came from ya little freak, you and the rest of yer kind”

I turned to run, a cramp forcing me back down to all fours as my mind tried to cover everything. "What, why, how, who? Freak, my kind?"

I tried again, I managed 4 steps this time but a glance back over my shoulder disorientated me as my head swung back further than a humans to look across a sea of dark orange, a pair of glistening wet wings and something silver looming closer.

CRACK!

The pain brought tears to my eyes as the wing on the right crumpled and ran crimson, folding under my legs and tripping me as it snagged beneath my foot. My chin hit the floor and the bitter tang of copper flooded my mouth as I bit my tongue,  three of the giants came to tower over me.

“Filthy little freak” The ring leader snarled, I felt the air rush from my lungs as he kicked. I had to get away, I squirmed into a corner between a crate and the wall but it only earned me another blow from the bat, this time across the face.

Stars burst across my vision and I curled up, my world becoming only pain once again. Sharp debris scratched me as I was mercilessly dragged from the wall I was against by my wings, wrenching them back too far and setting my shoulders ablaze.

I cried for my tormentors to stop, racked with sobs as I was punched, kicked and beaten. I hadn't asked for this, was this for what I did to Hannah? Oh Hannah, what if she thought I'd run off..? I looked up to the heavens, past my attackers and caught sight of that weird rift again, glowing in the night sky just below the moon like a ribbon.

“I'm sorry Hannah” They were the last words past my lips before another crack to my head sent me reeling, the world fading in and out in ever increasing lengths, words and sounds muffled as the attacks stopped.

A deep voice muttering in the tone one would use for frightened animals... A face swimming into view... ”Were they gone?... I know him from somewhere.”

The face looked worried as I became weightless, it felt like I was flying.. Something was over me now, I was moving. ”Oh look..a chin..a fuzzy chin.. These lights are too bright I wish they'd go away. Who's talking?”

”It's warm here..  Wuh? ....I'm a funny shape, is that bad?.. wings?..I have wings..   I-I think Imma take a nap now..”

“SUMMER!!” I woke to the sound of my name being yelled, hushed but close to my ear.

“Wha..?” Dr Weiss was crouching upside down, looking concerned, one of his hands was on my shivering barrel. It only took a moment to realise it was me upside down and that I was drenched in sweat.

I saw other ponies watching from my periphery as I eased myself over onto my side, careful to roll to my left and not my right. My bandages had come loose and my right wing was hanging limply from the bottom of its splint.

Dr Weiss was still crouched down, though the worry lines seemed to have melted from his face and he waved behind him, dismissing the other staff on standby. ”I wonder if he'd let me call him Sam?”

“You gave us quite the scare. One of the other patients called me when they saw you convulsing. Are you OK?”

I blinked again, yawning before answering, I was still shaking. “I had a nightmare, it was..”- I searched my mind for words to describe it but I couldn't grasp the level of offensive negativity I wanted. - “awful”.

I'd swear Dr Weiss' face was almost as expressive as a ponies, he did that little deep in thought look then asked. “Would you be willing to talk about it? It might help with your memory.”

I half stumbled, half rolled off of the beanbag. It smelled strongly of equine and fear and was putting me on edge. Even the occupants of the sofas had moved away from it.

“Ow, can we fix my bandages first?” I pleaded, my limp wing was merrily twitching away to itself, probably sat on a nerve.

Dr Weiss smiled warmly and directed me towards the room behind Antonia's check in desk. “Of course, then I'd like to discuss what you remember from the dream”

I wasn't so sure I wanted to, that face was still lingering in my minds eye with its frothing lips, eyes full of hate..

Something about Dr Weiss' tone hinted that he knew more than me but I brushed it off. I finally had a chance to talk to him. I wanted to know who fuzzy McChin was and just why I'd swapped a Y chromosome for an X. The dream made me feel cold and sick to my core, my subconscious already blotting some of it out. Except for Fuzzy McChin and..”What's her name.. damn it.. Holly, Hailey, Hope? “

My twitching wing prevented me thinking straight, well whoever she was she couldn't be that important or I'd remember. I followed Dr Weiss into the well furnished room, my second trip there today, and carefully bumped the door closed with my flank.

Prologue: Dreamer

Prologue: Dreamer

...No idea...no identifica...

...found.......Alone?...

......Pretty bad shape.......

......ight wing is a mess but shold b....

....anything yet?...

....nearly a month......

Bright lights, snippets of conversation,  like a half dream, real, yet so hazy, the occasional blue blur or pink blob. Was that green hair? The sound of hoofbeats? Dreaming...

The soreness came first, a dull ache creeping up my spine making me wince, my head felt heavy as I stirred at the sound of unintelligible chatter reverberating through it. Battling with their weight I cracked my eyelids.  A wash of brown and white slowly swinging into focus, everything seemed too big and I closed them  tight again.  Meanwhile the sounds gave way to words I recognised, a female voice, light and sounding pleased, but very very close.

"I think she's coming round!"

She?..I thought to myself through a muggy haze.

I opened my eyes fully this time, and was immediately greeted by a pair of huge yellow orbs and white face framed by brown, lightly highlighted hair and a horn.

The girlish squeal that followed could have been heard two blocks away as I scrunched myself up on the bed, the creature standing in front of me moved back with a concerned look as I instinctivly brought my hooves  up to rub my face.

....Hooves..."HOOVES!!" I exclaimed before leaping into the air and promptly knocking myself out on the ceiling, collapsing right back where I'd laid since I'd been brought in.

From the end of the bed the mare exchanged glances with the other occupant of the room, a middle aged blonde man,  who currently wore a bemused look under his wire framed glasses.

He spread the left wing of the unconcious golden pegasi, flexing it gently. Some of its pilot feathers were still matted and broken, but the majority of the wounds she had arrived with were either well scabbed over or invisible beneath her brightly coloured coat.

The white furred mare busied herself fixing the bandages that had come loose from her patient's head, carefully rearranging the long twotone mane and the pillows to give the best support they could.

"At least we know her wings are going to be fine" he mused.

"We still don't know anything about the poor dear, I wonder if she even knows what's happened to her?" The white mare said, her voice a mix of almost motherly nurturing and pity as she surveyed the new bandages that joined those which already adorned the pegasi's body. "I can't believe people can be so cruel."

Back To Reality

Back To Reality

When I woke again my head was still buzzing, bandages obscuring part of my view. Where was I? A hospital, maybe.

Though the chemical scent was familiar, it definitely didnt look so; I was tucked in bed in a large room with cream walls, earthy coloured paneling, an empty bed near mine and a small TV atop a table on wheels. Towards the middle were a couple of plastic chairs and a full length mirror bolted to the wall in the corner. From here its angle was too sharp to see anything but the reflection of a small bathroom oposite.

Someone had opened a window while I was alseep, I could hear leaves rustling on the tree outside and sunlight was filtering through the billowing curtains, a single brown leaf blew in, dancing on the bedsheets in a ballet across my small form. Small... Was I always this small? I couldn't seem to remember. In fact I couldnt remeber anything except that dream;

Concentrating through a sleepy haze is difficult at best, even on a normal day, today it was even harder still.

Thoughts and sounds like a badly tuned TV set flashed past. Weird snippets of conversation, “pretty bad shape” "...ight wing is a mess but should b.."  right wing.. They couldnt have been talking about me, people don't have wings I assured myself, then I remebered the face. Huge eyes, white fur. I was sure it was something familiar but I couldn't place it.

My chain of thought was broken as the door creaked open just enough to admit what was clearly a doctor.

"hospital"  I murmured to myself breathily, my tongue wanted to stick to the roof of my mouth, my voice had a soft, almost musical quality to it and I could have sworn my un-bandaged ear flicked as the door clicked closed.

“Yes, you're in hospital and you're safe.” said the doctor, "how are you feeling?" I squirmed to sit up but the covers were tucked tight below my muzzle"...muzz.. "Where'd that thought come from? "My chin" I corrected myself. He watched me squirm in the sheets I'd wound round me in my sleep, but to my slight irritation, didn't offer to help.

"My name is Dr Weiss" He explained.  "You had us worried for a while, since the last week in August to be exact"

I craned my neck to look out the window, many of the trees lining the road were bare or sporting the last few stubborn leaves I must have had a confused look on my face as the doctor elaborated further "Its October, you've been out for nearly 5 weeks"

“5 WEEKS!” I practically squeaked the words, flustered. "What happened that would?..."5 weeks was a long time, even in my muddled state I knew that.

Dr Weiss cleard his throat to regain my attention and continued

"First thing is first, you had no I.D when you came in & were out so long that some of the team chose to call you Summer on account of your time of arrival, but now that you're awake, can you tell me your real name?"

"Summer?" my voice cracked in that high pitch again, that didn't sound right to me and I was sure it would get annoying if it kept up. "My name is..is.." I grasped mentally for it, my visible ear drooping as I came up blank, my head was dully pounding and I couldn't think straight.

The doc's frown of concern was obvious and I felt a weight hit my stomach.

"They don't know who I am, and for that matter... neither do I..."

I closed my eyes with a heavy sigh and swallowed. All I could do was mull things through, grasping at anything in my head that would explain my inability to remember my own darned name while he continued.

"Can you remember where you live?"- I racked my brains for a moment but it just wouldn't come, finally I shook my head.- "How about what year it is, what day?"

He seemed to be running through a check list so I followed along, still attempting to untangle myself from the bed. When I'd almost worked myself free he put a hand on my chest lightly, waiting for a reply so I gave him a slightly pained “no” look.

Dr. Weiss hrrm'd and moved his hand, mouthing something and jotting things down in his notes. I gingerly slipped an arm out of the covers.

"Oh GOHDOHGOHDOHGOHD!!!" I started hyperventilating.

There, where there should have been a fleshy pink arm and fingers was a single hard plate like nail that ran around the outer 2/3rds of the end of my forleg," ..arm..no maybe my mind was right the first time, well, stubby not arm thing." I thought, trying to stay rational. It was framed by a short tuft of golden yellow fur that spread up as far as I could see. I yanked the other one out, exactly the same. Full panic kicked in at this point and I thrashed at the bed covers, pins and needles raced up close to my back but not up it, like it was there but wasnt part of it.  Something weird was going on there but for the time being my brain had decided maintaining panic mode was more vital than sanity.

Dr. Weiss had his head already out of the door, calling for help as I tried to launch myself to the mirror in the far corner, flailing on unfamiliar limbs I collapsed head first into a dazed heap.

I pushed and dragged myself into the corner and couldn't help but put a hoof up to it as I studied the reflection of my body.

I was smaller, definietly, and covered from tip to hoof in downy golden fur, my hindlegs a little chunkier than my forelegs but equally hooven. My ears were now at the top of my head, perched either side of an almost firey orange mane, hilighted with a shade between it and the gold of my body where it decended from beneath the bandages. My eyes still held their same familiar aquamarine colour but were like glimmering saucers as I began to well up at the pitiful looking reflection, droplets darkening the freckled cheeks infront of me at a growing pace as what must be my tail curled round instinctively.

"Hummn.."

The mumble was all i could get out as first the nurse from the dream, then another blue pony, a stallion this time barrelled in to the room as I watched in the mirror, followed by another human nurse.

"Human.."

It became a chant, a mantra, growing louder as tears began to streak down my face in earnest. "..human..human...human..human..."

"..Human.."I panted, my voice high with a melodic tinge.."I'm...not ...human!!!" I shouted, about to punch the mirror in denial.

"Summer! Please calm down" The voice of the mare from my dreams seemed to cut through my panic like ice water, harsh, but cool. She was stood right infront of me, looking stern but with that same tinge of concern as when she had been inches from me the first time i woke.The support staff poised to restrain me if necessary. My rage deflated, I flopped to the floor instead. It was only now I noticed her flank was emblazoned with a book and quill, odd.

"...What-” I panted heavily”- ..am I?" my chest still heaving and head pounding like a bass drum.

"This will be difficult to accept, so lets get you back on the bed first" She said, the harshness from before melting away as Doctor Weiss and the other human lifted me, almost like one would a dog, and placed me back on the bed, the blue stallion watching me intently.

"You, like a great many others, have changed into what, for lack of any other description seem to be equines, ponies to use their self determined lable. Dr. Weiss explained.

"We don't know why, we don't know how, but this facility was set up to help.-" The Mare added, pulling the covers across me again, having misread my slight tremor as chill " -I appologise if i startled you earlier."

I winced at the cramping sensation just below my shoulders and gave skeptical look. Despite being uncomfortable i wasnt convinced"This has to be a dream, please be a dream." I'd felt mild pain in dreams before.  Dr. weiss cleared his throat and nodded to the other nurses, who left the room quietly, all but the nurse from what was seeming more and more like a not-dream every second.

"From what we know there seem to be three variations, Earth types, Unicorns like Antonia here.." The mare who'd been attending to me affirmed her identity with a nod " ..and then there are the pegasi . Not many people have changed into pegasi so far, maybe a thousand or so worldwide,  they seem to be the rarest but that would be the category you yourself fall under..."

I thought for a moment, then it hit me.

"I..I have wings?" I perked up and couldnt help a small smirk cross my face..muzzle? at the thought, “maybe this won't be such a bad dream after all.” I muttered.

Antonia looked uncomfortable and Dr Weiss frowned “ I can assure you this is no dream Miss...” he paused at my lack of a name. “I'm afraid Summer will have to do for now.”

I had stopped crying at this point, confused, and was about to correct him on my gender but then remembered those snippets of conversation "..wing is messed up.." Face going ashen I swallowed and tried to twitched where they must be, nothing moved but I winced as the cramping pain upped tenfold.

"Your wings are healing, but I'd rest them for now were I you" the nurse intoned in a way that said I'd have her wrath to face if I tried them out.

Dr weiss continued, speaking almost from writ as he flipped through his notes

"All tests so far have shown that this is neither a virus, nor contagious, DNA samples from pre and post change are perfect matches, ruling out mutations or genetic manipulation.” Closing the notes he looked back at me seriously  “What this also means is that it appears to have been effected at a genetic level, we don't have a way to change you back.”- he looked at me over the rim of his glasses - “This may be permanent "

My heart sank to a new low at this and I felt my ears droop flat against my head. There was an awkward silence, broken only by the rustle of leaves outside and faint echoes from beyond the door of the room.

It was Antonia who finally spoke up,

“You don't remember anything from before you woke up?" she asked in an almost motherly tone.  I shook my head with a sigh, focusing on the wet spots appearing on my bedsheets one by one as the tears started again.

"Maybe thats for the best" she added softly, patting my hoof with one of hers. Hoof touching hoof just felt too weird and I snatched my new appendage back. The mare looked stung slightly but shook it off and smiled.  What could she have meant by that? Now I was even more confused.

Dr Weiss looked as if he was about to say something more, but Antonia brushed past him headed for the door. "I'm sure you both have a lot of questions left, but I think Miss Summer here needs time to rest and think" She said matter of factly.

The exchange of a conspiratorial look between them went unnoticed as I blinked silent tears from my eyes.Dr weiss simply nodded

"Hmm,  I do have other patients to attend to" he added thoughtfully before slipping out.

"I'll be back after I've done my rounds, but do try to get some rest", the white unicorn added as she too slipped out, closing the door behind her.

The sun must have set either before or during my panic I noticed, looking around as I tried to workout what the hell was happening. It wasn't long before the realisation that I was tired crept up on me and I settled back with a yawn, hiding my hooves beneath the covers in the possible hopes this was still a dream. "Maybe it was why I couldnt remember. "

My last thought as sleep drew over me, carried by the sound of rusting leaves was that I forgot to ask why my voice was so high pitched...maybe when I'd slept I'd ask.