When Rainbow Dash Awoke, she felt rather groggy. Her loop memories were rather vague and hazy, perhaps because she seemed to have just crashed into the ground.
“Applejack! Rarity! Where are you?” she yelled, getting to her hooves. “Why don’t they answer?” she grumbled to herself in frustration. “They should be nearby; I hope they’re okay.”
Rainbow looked around, trying to get her bearings. “My chariot!” she gasped. She trotted over to the bent and twisted vehicle. With one hoof, she poked at a side wall that was swinging loosely, barely attached. “Blast! This’ll take forever to repair,” she groused as she surveyed the damage.
“Okay,” she said to herself as she tried to get her scattered memories together. “I was en route to Canterlot, bringing AJ and Rarity in the chariot because we were all summoned by Princess Celestia. Twilight was bringing Pinkie and Fluttershy. I crash landed in this empty field. Hmm. The groundcover here seems strangely soft, but it certainly did a number on the chariot and on my head.” She rubbed the back of her head tenderly.
“Hello!” cried out a new voice, and Rainbow Dash reared back, alarmed. “Whoa! Hey, whoa there! Did I frighten you? Didn’t mean to. Sorry. Howdy. My name is Jesse, and this is Emily’s room. That’s all I wanted to say.” Before Rainbow Dash stood a tall, lanky creature with creamy skin, red hair, a white shirt with yellow cuffs and a yellow band across the breast, blue pants with black and white mottled chaps, and a red hat that reminded Rainbow very much of Applejack’s Stetson. Rainbow Dash dropped back down and watched the expressions flow across Jesse’s face—first startlement at Rainbow’s aggressive reaction, then a strained cheerfulness as she offered her welcome, then a look of grave concern. “Also, there has been a bit of a mix-up,” Jesse continued. “This is my spot, see—the bed here.”
“A local villager! Glad you’re here. I’m Rainbow Dash, Element of Harmony and fastest flier in Equestria,” she introduced herself, throwing her chest out proudly. “I’ve crash landed here by mistake,” she continued, grimly.
“Yes, it is a mistake,” Jesse interrupted, becoming more insistent, “because, you see, the bed here is my spot.”
Rainbow wasn’t quite sure what to make of the creature’s insistence. She didn’t care who sat in the gouge her crash had made. “I need to repair my chariot as soon as possible,” Rainbow Dash forged ahead in a businesslike manner. “Do you have a skilled cartwright in town or do you still use a blacksmith?” Rainbow suddenly spied something sneaking up over a rise in the ground. “Watch yourself!” she yelled, jumping in front of Jesse, knocking her to the ground protectively, and taking up a defensive stance again. “Halt! Who goes there?” she shouted.
“It’s okay! Friends!” cried the strange creatures as they peeked over the rise.
“Do you know these creatures?” Rainbow Dash called back to Jesse as she waved her hooves threateningly at the skulkers.
“Yes. They’re Emily’s toys,” replied Jesse with a voice dripping with annoyance as she picked herself up off the ground and dusted herself off.
“All right everyone, you are clear to come up,” announced Rainbow Dash. A green dragon, a very long bodied dog, a gigantic pig, a strange thing that was mostly head and looked like a potato carrying a handbag, and another lanky creature dressed in an expansive pink dress all climbed up. “I am Rainbow Dash, one of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, and I’m on an important mission to meet with Princess Celestia,” she introduced herself proudly.
The newcomers crowded around Rainbow Dash. Rex, the dragon, shook her hoof vigorously. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re not a dinosaur!”
“What beautiful hair you have! What colors! It looks so soft,” exclaimed Bo Peep in the pink dress.
“Jesse has nice hair, too,” added Slinky Dog loyally.
“Only hers is braided red yarn and completely unstylable,” snarked Mrs. Potato Head. Miss Piggy chuckled. Jesse, forgotten in the background, pulled her hat down over her head in mortification. Rainbow preened at the fawning attention she was getting, clearly appropriate for a mare of her awesomeness.
Slinky Dog reached toward the lightning bolt necklace Rainbow Dash wore around her neck. The gem started glowing and sparkling at his touch. “Ah, ah, ah!” tutted Rainbow Dash, stepping back and touching a hoof to the necklace to calm it back to its quiescent state. “Please be careful. That is my Element. It’s an extremely powerful artifact. You don’t want to be in the way when my Element starts firing magic.”
“How come you don’t have a magic necklace, Jesse?” heckled Mrs. Potato Head.
“It’s not a magic necklace. It’s a—it’s a little lightbulb that blinks!” replied Jesse, waving her hands in exasperation.
“What’s with her?” Miss Piggy asked Mrs. Potato Head.
“Necklace envy,” the potato replied conspiratorially.
“All right, that’s enough,” announced Jesse as she stepped in front of Rainbow Dash. “Look, we’re all very impressed with Emily’s new toy-”
“Toy?” questioned Rainbow Dash
“T, O, Y. Toy!”
“Excuse me,” replied Rainbow, giving Jesse an arch look. “I think the word you’re searching for is ‘awesome pegasus.’”
“The word I’m searching for I can’t say because there’s preschool toys present,” said Jesse, glaring at Rainbow.
Rex spoke up. “Oh, uh, Miss Dash, uh, I’m curious. What does a Bearer of an Element of Harmony actually do?” he asked very respectfully.
“She’s not an Element Bearer!” shouted Jesse. “She doesn’t fight evil, or shoot magic beams, or fly!”
“Excuse me,” interrupted Rainbow Dash, cutting off Jesse’s tirade. Jesse turned. Rainbow Dash lowered her head, and her swings swept out, almost knocking Jesse over. Rainbow beamed.
“Wow!” “Oh, impressive wingspan!”
All the toys were impressed, except for Jesse. “Oh, what? What? These are plastic!” she said, grabbing one of Rainbow Dash’s wings and shaking her. “She can’t fly!”
Rainbow Dash jerked her wing out of Jesse’s hand and replied, “They are genuine pegasus feathers, and I can fly.” She favored the rest of the excited group with a self-satisfied grin.
“No, you can’t,” retorted Jesse, matter-of-factly.
“Yes, I can,” said Rainbow Dash with supreme self-confidence.
“You can’t.”
“Can.”
“Can’t, can’t, CAN’T!”
“I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed!”
“Okay then, Miss Rainbow Crash, prove it.”
“All right then, I will. Stand back, everyone! Here’s a trick I’ve been saving up to impress the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow Dash jumped up to the top of a bed post and posed for a moment, before she leaped off and dove straight for the floor. Then she bounced off a rubber ball and landed on a race car. The car took off on a track, spun through a loop and off a jump. Rainbow flew off the car and grabbed on to an airplane hanging from the ceiling. After spinning around the room at incredible speed, she dove through the air and landed back on the bed right in front of Jesse. “Can!”
The toys cheered. Rainbow Dash turned to the crowd and soaked up their adulation. Jesse couldn’t believe it. “That wasn’t flying. That was falling with style,” she said in disgust, but no one was listening.
The van pulled into a gas station and Emily got out, leaving Jesse on the back seat. Jesse looked up and saw Rainbow Dash covered with mud, staring at her through the sunroof.
“I just want you to know that even though you tried to kill me, revenge is not an idea we promote in Ponyville,” said Rainbow calmly, though her eyes were narrowed in a venemous look.
Jesse sighed with relief, though still discomfited by Rainbow Dash’s glare. “Oh, well, that’s good,” she said uneasily.
“But we’re not in Ponyville, are we?” Rainbow Dash growled, and she lunged for Jesse. The two of them fell off the seat, out the open door, and rolled under the van. They were still on the ground fighting when the door slid shut and the van drove away.
Jesse watched the van leave. “I’m lost!” she sobbed. “Oh, I’m a lost toy!”
Rainbow Dash was upset for a different reason. “You, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Princess Celestia and reuniting the Elements of Harmony! Because of you, the safety of the entire world is in jeopardy!”
Jesse lost it completely. “YOU ARE A TOY! You aren’t the real Rainbow Dash! You’re, gah, you’re an action figure! You are a child’s plaything!”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “You are a sad, strange little mare, and you have my pity. Farewell.”
Rainbow Dash lay on the cold, hard tile floor, broken. Her left foreleg lay on the ground beside her, no longer connected, but that wasn’t what hurt. It was her heart that was shattered.
Everything about herself that she loved, everything about her that was awesome and cool, her pride and her joy: it was all a lie. Most awesome flier in Equestria? Just a hallucination and plastic wings. She had never directed the weather, never performed a Sonic Rainboom. Saving the world? It never happened. The incredible friends she remembered? Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy? They probably didn’t even exist. Maybe Rainbow Dash had been someone, before, in another life. Now? She was nothing.
She stared mindlessly at the distant ceiling and let the world recede.
Clearly I will go sailing no more.
While Emily and Sid slept through the nighttime thunderstorm, Jesse called to Rainbow Dash for help. Rainbow sat listlessly on her haunches with the rocket strapped to her back, too lost in misery to move.
Jesse growled in frustration. “Oh, come on, Rainbow Dash! I-” She gulped, and her gaze fell to the floor. “Dash, I can’t do this without you,” she finally admitted. “I need your help.”
“I can’t help,” said the wretched pegasus, barely audible. “I can’t help anybody.” She looked up at Jesse. “You were right all along. I’m not an Element of Harmony. I’m just a toy. A stupid little insignificant toy.”
“Whoa, hey, wait a minute!” said Jesse with concern. “Being a toy is a lot better than being an Element of Harmony.”
“Yeah, right.”
“No, it is!” said Jesse earnestly. “Look, over in that house is a kid that thinks you are the greatest, and it’s not because you are an Element of Harmony, pal. It’s because you’re a toy! You are her toy!”
Rainbow Dash looked away and dropped her head to her chest. She felt her chin bump into her necklace, just a piece of plastic shaped like a lightning bolt, a pathetic imitation of the Element of . . . Loyalty. It merely reminded her yet again of her friends and how much she missed them. They were more important to her than anything else. In fact, it was her loyalty that had caused the Element to choose her, not the other way around. She loved her friends whether she was wearing a magic gemstone or not. Well, perhaps her old friends were only memories, but . . . she had friends here too. Rex and Slinky Dog and all the toys back in Emily’s room. The wonderful child Emily herself. And Jesse, who, come to think of it, had stayed with her this far despite all the enmity between them. Loyalty. Friendship. Even if everything else was make believe, she was still Rainbow Dash and she would never leave her friends hanging. She looked up and smiled to herself, and felt a flicker of magic in her heart once again.
A few moments later, the crate trapping Jesse began to shake. Rainbow Dash was trying to push the toolbox off. “Come on, cowgirl. There’s a kid over in that house who needs us. Now let’s get you out of this thing.”
Author’s Note: Obviously, this would have to be one of Rainbow Dash’s early loops, since if she could just bust out her alicorn powers, it would kind of ruin the moment. I can’t decide if I’ve included too much here or not, but I could easily have included a lot more: the entire movie is simply delectable when you swap Rainbow Dash for Buzz Lightyear. Their personalities in this situation are a perfect match!
Hmm. I think I feel a sequel coming on . . .
Rainbow Dash ran for the air vent, broken wing trailing at her side. She yanked at the metal grille, and it rattled but didn’t open. She heard a loud thump behind her and spun around.
The lid to one of the large cardboard shipping boxes was flopped open and she saw packing peanuts had been scattered across the floor. Before Rainbow Dash could react, she was lifted into the air and found herself bouncing wildly around the room on the back of an excited orange pony wearing a Stetson. “What? Whoa!” cried Rainbow Dash. “Hey! Stop!” she yelled as she ducked, narrowly missing being knocked in the head by a coffee table. “Stop! Sit, girl! Stop it! Sit, I said! Whoa!”
Applejack suddenly stopped, throwing Rainbow Dash flying over her head. Rainbow flopped awkwardly onto the floor, landing upside down. Big blue eyes and a poofy pink mane suddenly filled her view. “YEEEEHAAA!” yelled Pinkie Pie, who grabbed Rainbow Dash in a bear hug and started bouncing around as excited as only Pinkie could be. “It’s you! It’s you! It’s you, it’s you, it’s you! It’s really you!” Pinkie paused long enough to give Rainbow a noogie.
“What’s me?” gasped Rainbow Dash just before Pinkie slapped the cutie mark button on Rainbow’s flank and held her ear to Rainbow’s barrel. “I’d never leave Ponyville hangin’,” bragged a mechanical voice.
“Ha! It is you!” squealed Pinkie Pie, snuggling Rainbow Dash.
“Please stop saying that,” whimpered the disturbed pegasus, barely able to wiggle in Pinkie’s ecstatic grasp. She looked around franticly and noticed purple, white, and yellow ponies waving at her from on top of a cardboard box.
“Nightmare Moon said someday you’d come!” Pinkie suddenly dropped Rainbow to the ground in an indecorous heap and jumped into the air with a huge Pinkie Pie gasp. “Sweet mother of Equestria! Nightmare Moon! She’ll want to meet you!”
Applejack galloped past, jumped into one of the shipping boxes, and bucked out a colorful cardboard carton printed with a giant image of the moon on the outside. She pushed it over toward Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.
“Say hello to Nightmare Moon,” said Pinkie grandly.
“It- it’s a box,” said Rainbow, confused and rather shaken.
“She’s mint in the box. Never been opened,” replied Pinkie mysteriously.
“Turn me around, Applejack, so I can see,” came an eerie voice from within. Applejack slowly turned the container. Inside was a black alicorn with metallic blue armor.
“Why, the prodigal daughter has returned,” said Nightmare Moon with quiet joy as she inspected Rainbow Dash with regal detachment.
“No! Can’t go!” cried Pinky, starting to hyperventilate. Her mane went flat and she pulled at her ears. “I can’t do storage again! I just can’t!”
“Pinkie! Pinkie!” called Nightmare Moon from inside her box.
“I won’t go back in the dark!” shouted Pinkie in panic as she wildly shook Nightmare’s carton. Twilight Sparkle and Rarity grabbed on to her and held her close.
“What’s the matter? What’s wrong with her?” asked Rainbow Dash stepping back, confused and distressed by Pinkie’s breakdown.
“Well, we’ve been in storage for a long time waiting for you,” explained Nightmare Moon gravely.
The grille over the air vent slammed shut with an echoing boom. Rainbow Dash spun around to see Nightmare Moon spinning the screws, sealing their escape path closed and their rescuers outside.
“Nightmare Moon?” Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rarity gasped at the betrayal. Fluttershy hid her face behind her hooves.
“You’re out of your box!” Rainbow Dash accused.
Nightmare Moon tightened the last screw and stalked away from the grille. “I tried reasoning with you Rainbow Dash,” she explained as she passed the Bearers, “but you keep forcing me to take extreme measures.” Nightmare turned beside the TV remote and faced the others. With stomp of finality, she shut off the TV.
“Wait a minute. You turned on the TV last night, not Pinkie,” realized Rainbow.
“Look, we have an eternity to spend together in the museum. Let’s not start off by pointing fingers, shall we?” replied the black alicorn calmly.
“You really are a Nightmare, aren’t you?” growled Rainbow Dash
“Nightmare Moon, this isn’t fair!” said Pinkie Pie angrily.
“‘Fair’? I’ll tell you what’s not fair: Spending one thousand weeks in a moon shaped box on a dime-store shelf watching every other toy be sold. Well, finally my waiting has paid off. And no broken down pegasus doll is going to mess it up for me now! Remember your freedom this day, Rainbow Dash, for it was your last. We are all going together to the museum. From this moment forth, you will stay with us and last forever!”
Author’s Note: Not quite as good a fit but still pretty good. Go watch the scene where Jesse meets Woody and tell me that’s not Pinkie Pie. 1000 weeks works out to about 20 years, which seems about right in toy years.
