A journey of a thousand miles has to start somewhere
Doppel was a changeling just like any other. He spent most days disguised as a pony hanging out among the other ponies in Equestria and feeding off their love when he was hungry. They just had so much of it, and it was incredibly easy to get them to part with it; when they thought he was a pony at least.
Things became harder for him after the invasion of Canterlot. Doppel didn’t take part in it, of course. Invading always seemed so blunt and ruthless. He preferred a more subtle take on things. Even so, every guardspony in every city was looking for him and his kin now, which made his job all the more difficult.
*kablam*
The pot next to to Doppel's head shattered, sending potting soil everywhere. "Shit shit shit! Their aim is getting better," he swore to himself, glancing back at the squad chasing him. A half dozen gold-clad guards armed with muskets led by an officer with a comically large moustache were hot on his hole- filled hooves.
Doppel let out a yelp of pain as a ball grazed his flank. 'Scratch that, they're actually able to hit something!'
"Damn it Wingkins, I said aim for his legs! I want that roach alive!"
Doppel tore around a corner and dove inside a wagon full of hay. He had completely covered himself just as the guards came clanking around the corner.
"Alright Chaps," the officer said, using his telekinesis to unholster his pistol, "check everywhere, that bug can't have gone far."
Doppel, remained as silent as a church mouse, as he lay motionless in his straw sanctuary. But he had missed one thing when covering himself up: his tail.
He let out a yelp of pain, jumping from the wagon as something sharp stabbed his flank. Landing in a heap, Doppel got to his hooves only to find a half- dozen guns pointed at him and one smug looking mustachioed major.
"You have nowhere else to go bug," the officer said, "Why don't you save us all the trouble and surrender?"
Doppel kept silent as he spun about; the guards had formed a circle around him, so there was no way he was getting out by hoof.
"I'll give you till three. One.... Two... Thr-"
Doppel spread his insectoid wings and shot into the sky, stopping a good thirty feet in the air before turning about to face the guards. "You'll have to catch me first sir," he said, a shit eating grin on his face.
"You blithering idiots!" The officer yelled, looking back at the gawking guards, "shoot that bug!"
"Stop right there criminal scum!" they all proclaimed as they fired at once and all missed rather horribly.
"My leg!" was the last thing Doppel heard as he flew away.Landing in a nearby alley, Doppel landed in a nearby back alley and assumed a random disguise before trotting out into the street once again.
'That was too close', he thought to himself as he slinked through the crowd, 'if only I ha'-
His train of thought was interrupted as he ran into the flank of somepony. When he looked up he was shocked to see a stallion that looked exactly the same as he did.
"Balls."
"Stop right there criminal scum!"
His eyes widened, shit shit shit! I hav- Wait, magic!
Doppel dropped his disguise and began charging a teleportation spell, focusing all the energy he could muster.
Before he could finish, the guard fired and Doppel let out a scream of pain as the musket ball tore Into his flank. There was brilliant flash as he lost his focus and overcharged the spell. In an instant, he was gone. The guard simply shrugged, "must have been my imagination," and trotted off to search elsewhere.
Meanwhile in the Mojave Wasteland, where you could aim down the sight and wish for a nuclear winter; Victor the Securitron was having an alright morning. Earlier, he had dug up some poor fella who had been shot in the head and buried in a shallow grave up at the town cemetery. That man was now being tended to by Doc Mitchell and Victor was just happy to do his part.
As the large robot rolled across Goodsprings, heading back to his shack, a bright flash pierced the early morning twilight and something landed on the roof of the old schoolhouse before rolling off and landing on the ground.
"What in tarnation?" the cowboy robot proclaimed as he rolled towards whatever had just fallen from the sky. When he rounded the corner, Victor stopped as his sensors picked up something he couldn't quite identify. It was human shaped and had fingers but that was where the similarities ended. The creature's skin was black and covered in plates akin to the giant insects that wandered the less civilized parts of the wastes. Its ears were at the top of the creature's and a protrusion stuck out from the being's forehead, ending in a blunt point.
Whatever it was let out a pained groan as it rolled on the ground and the robot rolled over close to the mystery creature. At this close distance, Victor saw what was most definitely a bullet hole in the creature's stomach. Victor picked up the creature and began rolling back to Doc Mitchell's house. Whatever this thing was it needed medical attention and Doc was the only sawbones Victor knew of.
... a few days later...
Doppel awoke with a groan. 'Sweet Celestia, my everything hurts'. He opened his eyes and took a moment to get his bearings… then another… and another… it actually took him about three full minutes to pull himself into a sitting position and get a look around. He was lying on a makeshift mattress of pillows and blankets in the living room of a rather poorly lit house.
“Ow my head," groaning, he brought up a forehoof to rub his head but that stopped once he saw something was most definitely not a hoof. "What the Tartarus happened to me?"
He still had his horn and insectoid wings, his skin was still hard and chitinous, and his limbs were still full of holes. But instead of ending in stumps, his forelegs now had five smaller appendages on the ends: fingers. Doppel had been a griffon a few times, so the fingers he could get used to. But he had never been a diamond dog before; so a bipedal form was new territory.
Summoning his magic and trying to change back to his normal shape yielded no results and only left him with a throbbing headache.
“Well that got me nowhere," Doppel grumbled dryly to himself.
His ears perked up as he heard another voice coming from a nearby room, sounding like it was coming from a elderly stallion, "-could you stay here for a second. I think my other patient has woken up."
"Other patient?" a second, younger voice spoke up.
"Victor, the robot who brought you in, came back not ten minutes after dropping you off with some mutant creature claiming it fell from the sky. And I couldn't just tell the big fella no so I took it in and patched it up."
Doppel looked down at the bandage that was wrapped around his midsection. He looked back up in time to see a strange looking creature enter the room. It reminded him a diamond dog; it's head was hairless except for on the side and a moustache. it wore a black shirt with suspenders, brown pants, and a red scarf tied around its neck.
"Hello there," it said in the elderly male voice earlier, "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm here to help you."
Doppel blinked in surprise, this old... whatever thought he was a dumb animal!
"I'm not an foal," he frowned, crossing his arms, "I'm a grown stallion. You don't have to baby me."
*Thunk*
The old thing crumpled to the ground as a look of complete and utter shock came over his face.
Author's Note
Edited by a whole lotta people!
It's not stealing if he's dead
It's not stealing if he's dead
"Doc? Doc? Are you alright?" The feminine voice in the other room called out as Doppel slowly got up and onto his feet.
It took several face plants and a lot of swearing but he eventually reached the prone form of the doctor. Doppel kicked the geezer a few times and nothing happened.
Doppel got down on one knee and checked the doctor's pulse, "I thin-"
"Rosebud!"
"Yeah, he's dead," Doppel said flatly as the still flickering aura around the man died out.
"Dead?! Shit," she said, her voice drawing closer as doppel got to his feet, "look, we need to get out of here ASA-"
She stopped mid- sentence as Doppel turned about to find himself face to face with the voice's rather confused owner.
She was the same kind of creature that the now dead doctor was. She was a giant compared to Doppel, standing nearly two feet taller than him. Her skin was a light shade of brown and haircut in a short, tomcoltish style. Green eyes examined Doppel as the look of confusion on her face turned to one of utter fascination. And she did something Doppel that completely surprised him.
*poke*
"Umm.... What are you doing?" Doppel asked as she suddenly began poking him with a crutch.
"Science."
*poke**poke*
"By poking me?"
"Yes."
"With a crutch?"
*poke*
"Could you stop," Doppel said already getting annoyed.
"Are you some sort of alien? Where do you come from? What species are you?"
"I guess, Equestria, and Changeling," he answered, a bemused look on his face, "and n-"
*poke*
"That's it!" Doppel growled, taking no more of her shit. He grabbed the crutch and tossed it across the room, "no poking for you!"
She gave him a small pout before shrugging and smiling, "who cares! I'm talking to an alien!" She giggled with foal-like glee.
"I can say the same. First off: where the fuck am I? Second, who the fuck are you and what the Tartarus are you and our dead pal here?"
"We're in the Mojave Wasteland; Goodsprings to be precise. My name's Katarina but you can call me Kat, and I'm a human!" She stuck out her hand, a smile on her face.
"Doppel," he replied, shaking her hand.
'Mojave? There's no place in Equestria I know of called the Mojave! Where did that spell drop me at? Am I on another wo-?'
*poke*
He just sighed as she started poking him with a finger. This was was going to be a long day.
...five minutes later...
*bang bang*
"Hey Doc you in there?"
Doppel jumped at the sudden knocking, dropping Doc Mitchell's ankles as he was dragging the body down the hallway. Eyes widened in fear, he looked over at Kat who was in the process of strapping some sort of metallic thing to her forearm.
She looked behind him at an open door across from the bedroom as a plan formulated in her mind; a utterly stupid plan but a plan none the less.
"How good are you at farting noises?"
... Hello , I'm a scene change!...
Easy Pete banged on the door once more, "Dagnabit! Mitchell, open the door! I need my pills!"
The door cracked open and out came Kat's hand holding a blue bottle with a big red cross on it, "here's your pills," she said simply.
"Wait?" Easy Pete raised an eyebrow, "who in the Sam Hill are you?"
Kat stuck her head out the door, "I'm that girl who got shot in the face." She then frowned, "I'm helping Doc Mitchell because he came down with a bad case of the shits."
As if on cue, a very loud and very wet sounding fart could be heard from inside the house. "Oh sweet god, it's on my shoes!" Doc Mitchell's voice cried out from inside.
Easy Pete frowned, "Well, tell him I wi-"
Another fart cut him off mid sentence. "Ew! Ew! Ew! It got on the walls!"
Pete cringed at this and was about to say something as yet another fart ripped through the air; this one lasting nearly a full minute.
Kat shook her head, 'this one is just overdoing it.'
With that, Pete quickly hobbled back to the saloon, claiming that someone might steal his seat if he didn't hurry back.
Kat waved goodbye as she shut the door and turned around to a snickering Doppel. "The last one was total overkill," she said with a serious face, before she started laughing as well, "you should have seen his face."
"Yeah, Kat. This totally screams 'hey, don't pay attention to me!'." Doppel said sarcastically as he looked at himself in the mirror.
Kat, in an attempt to cover up Doppel's.... well, everything, had practically covered him head to toe in various bits of clothing.
"Well, if you don't like it, go out there completely exposed. I'm sure it won't bite you in the carapace plated ass," she said sarcastically.
'Coming from the girl with the big twenty one on her back,' Doppel thought to himself as he began to remove clothes. Kat was wearing a garish blue and quite tight jumpsuit that had a large yellow 21 stitched into the back.
Soon, Doppel had removed most clothes she had haphazardly wrapped him in. He rejoined Kat wearing a red sweater underneath a leather jacket that had the sleeves torn off and brown pants. He wore an off colored white hat and a bandana was tied around his neck.
"You ready to go now princess," Kat smirked tossing the changeling a bag loaded with supplies that Kat had 'appropriated' from the house. It's not stealing if he's dead; it's not like he isn't going to be needing those pork n' beans anymore.
"Well let's get going," he nodded as he put the bag on, "where are we going anyway?"
Kat dug a folded up piece of paper from her pocket and read over it. "We're going to...Primm," she stated, "that's where this says I got the job at."
When our two misfits stepped outside, they were blinded by the harsh light of the Nevada sun. After a few moments, they saw Goodsprings: the Riverwood of the Mojave.
"Howdy Partners!"
Doppel let out a rather lady- like shriek of terror, jumping behind Kat as he saw a giant metal thing rolling towards the two of them, a cowboy face on it's television monitor.
"You must be Victor I presume?"
"Yes siree Ma'am," the cowboy securitron said, coming to a halt in front of the duo, "and the fella hidin' behind ya must be the one that fell from the sky four days ago?"
"Yeah, don't mind him though. He's an idiot."
Doppel's eyes widened in surprise, 'Four days! That means I haven't fed in nearly two weeks!' As if to accentuate the point, a stab of pain emanated from the bug's stomach.
"If anyone's the idiot, it's you!." He retorted, peeking out from behind her, "I scored like three points higher than you in intelligence on that vigor machine thingy."
Ignoring her changeling companion, Kat gave the robot a polite smile, "Well, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Victor."
"Likewise friend, likewise. It's also fine and dandy to see that all your dogs are still barkin'. Bulletheaditus ain't usually got many survivors; seems you just had a light case of it."
"Say Victor, could you tell me where," she paused for a second, "where I was buried."
"Yes ma'am I can." He rotated so that he was facing towards the north end of town, "up there by the water tower in the old bone orchard."
"Thanks."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHOOT!"
"I SAID I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHOOT YOUR GU- HEY! IM RELATED TO YOU! EAT HER FIRST!"
Their trip to the Goodsprings cemetery had been less than ideal. The minute our heros had arrived, a giant radscorpion had come clattering in from the north and immediately tried to eat them. Let's face it, they're far too low leveled to deal with even a baby radscorpion. Now; they were hanging halfway up the water tower trying their best not to lunch for an overgrown insect.
Kat would have facepalmed if her hands weren't wrapped about the rusty metal in an attempt to hold on for dear life. "You have wings! Can't you fly back to town to get some help!"
"I would if I could but I can't okay!" 'If only I could use my magic, that thing would be a pile of ash by no-'
His thought as cut off as a stick of dynamite fell past his head. 'Shit Shit Shit!' he thought as he clinged to the metal tightly.
An explosion rocked the hill as ichor and giblets splattered as the scorpion's right claw was obliterated by the explosives.
"Ew, ew, it's in my mouth!" Doppel cried out in disgust as he received a face full of 'sploded radscorpion.
"Oh for fuck's sake," Kat screamed in annoyance. The radscorpion was not dead; the loss of his claw had only pissed it off and the giant bug was now doing its darndest to sting Doppel.
"Anymore bright ideas?!" Doppel yelled as he scooted up the rusted support beam.
"Just don't shoot the tail," she ordered, hitting the radscorpion below with a few well aimed shots from her 9mm.
Doppel's attempts at shooting with his laser pistol were less than successful. Only five of his nearly twenty shots actually hit their intended target and did little to no damage.
"Why don't you hit, you peice of crap!" He screamed in annoyance, chunking the pistol at the scorpion. The gun bounced off it's carapace and landed in the dirt beside it before suddenly fired, hitting the bug in the side then it exploded into ash.
Both Doppel and Kat just stared at the sight, slack-jawed. "I...what... How the?!" Kat managed to blurt out as she tried to formulate words.
"I take it back," Doppel said happily as he got off the water tower and ran over the pistol. Brushing off the vaporized radscorpion, he began kissing the weapon, "I'll never badmouth you ever again!"
Kat just rolled her eyes as she climbed down from the and passed by Doppel; stopping in front of a recently dug human-sized hole.
She sighed, looking down at her grave till she noticed something shiny half buried in the recently upturned earth. Curious, reached for it and pulled out a cigarette lighter. But not just one old dime-a-dozen Bic, this baby was a fancy as hell engraved one; it bore the logo of The Tops casino and rolling it about in her hand, she saw words carved into the back.
"If found please return to Benny: The Head of the Chairmen, at the Tops Casino," she said out loud, before turning back to Doppel, "Blacky, I know where we need to go!"
The changeling gave her a look. "Blacky? My name is Doppel and you know it," he said flatly.
"But first I'm going to teach you how to shoot."
Author's Note
Edited by Greycait
