“Rainbow Dash! Wait a minute!” the orange filly, propelling her scooter with her wings, stopped suddenly near the old shop in one of the narrowest streets in Ponyville.
“What’s up, kid?” the pegasus in question asked. They were just going back from the flying lesson, and she was really proud of her apprentice. With the progress Scootaloo made over the last three meetings, she’ll soon be able to fly by herself, she thought.
“I need to give back those,” explained Scootaloo, pulling two black boxes out of her saddlebags.
“Video cassettes? I didn't think kids nowadays even knew what those were!”
“I'd never heard of them until a couple of months ago,” the orange filly said, "but I couldn’t find these movies on DVD anywhere. Then I found out this old video rental shop was here." She pointed at the old building, which looked exactly like the shops Rainbow Dash remembered from her childhood, complete with the “Be kind, please rewind” sticker on the door.
“What do you have here, by the way?” Rainbow Dash asked and took a closer look at the cassettes Scootaloo gave her, ‘The Return of Nightmare Moon II, I had to sneak into the cinema to watch it when I was at your age,’ she smiled nostalgically, “Oh, and Colts from Outer Space! A classic, almost older than Celestia. Nowadays it’s more funny than scary, even Fluttershy didn’t…”
“Oh yeah,” Scootaloo laughed, “Those special effects…”
Then entered the shop, and Scootaloo approached the middle-aged green mare with pink hair, who was sitting behind the counter.
“Good morning, Ms. Minty,” she said.
“Oh, good morning, sweetheart,” Minty replied warmly, carefully watching Rainbow Dash, who was snooping around the racks with cassettes and DVDs. “Is she your friend?” she asked, when Scootaloo gave her the movies back.
“Yes, she’s kinda my big sister,” the filly explained, “And she’s into old movies too,”
“How nice! You know, fewer and fewer ponies come here since the internet became easily available. For example, yesterday only two ponies in those fancy socks came here. Socks! They say even the princesses wear them. I’ve been wearing socks before you were even born, you can imagine…” suddenly Minty’s monologue was interrupted by Rainbow Dash’s sudden “Whoa Nelly!”
“What happened?” asked Scootaloo, turning to her.
“Um… nothing!” pegasus stuttered, smiling sheepishly and trying to hide something behind her back. Scootaloo wasn’t Applejack, but even her lie-detecting skills were enough to find out that something is off.
“What are you hiding there?”
“I told you, nothing… what are you doing!?” she shouted, when orange filly suddenly grabbed a cassette from her hoof.
“What’s this? Aww…” Scootaloo’s face was expressing pure happiness when she looked at and old-looking cassette box. The cover photo was depicting a much younger Rainbow Dash in a blood-stained lab coat. Next to her stood similarly-dressed dark red pegasus. In front of them were standing two fillies (one of them very similar to Scootaloo) and a colt. In the background a few factory chimneys could be seen, spitting out a colourful smoke. The title of the movie was “Rainbow Factory”.
“You’ve never told me you were an actress!”
“Listen kid…” Rainbow Dash felt the sweat running down her face, “it’s nothing special, this movie is really shi-“ she suddenly remembered that she was talking to a filly, “I mean, this movie sucks, I only played in it because I needed money and my friend Gag Reel, the director, promised me two hundred bits,”
“Oh, come on! It can’t be that bad! I won’t die seven days after watching it, will I?”
“No, but…” Rainbow Dash started but Scootaloo interrupted her, pointing at the quote at the back cover, “It says “the best slasher of all time!” What is slasher, by the way?”
“None of your interest,” Rainbow Dash sighed, “Listen, it was “direct-to-VHS” release. You know what does it mean? It means that this movie was so bad that no cinema wanted to broadcast it.”
“But you once said that some of the best movies weren’t shown in the cinema!”
Oh Celestia, help me… Rainbow Dash thought, I meant that indie Griffonian drama, not a story about me making rainbows out of fillies! Though Gilda wouldn’t admit it, she had a large collection of Griffonian New Wave movies and they’d spent many nights watching them.
“Yes, but it’s not one of them. It’s a crappy story with bad acting, poor special effects and plot being an excuse to…” Dash paused. She almost said “to murder some fillies that cannot fly”, but one look at Scootaloo’s excited face told her that it would be a bad idea. Meanwhile, the filly walked to the counter.
“I want to borrow that movie,” she said.
“How old are you?” Minty asked, trying not to laugh at Rainbow Dash, who was making desperate gestures towards her.
“Err… what?”
“How old are you? In order to borrow this movie you must be over eighteen years old,” Minty explained.
“Umm… I’m twelve,”
“Then you can’t borrow this movie,” said the green mare. Scootaloo stared at Rainbow Dash, who gulped, when she stared back in filly’s puppy eyes. Refusing her would be like kicking the dog. Or a puppy. Or like firing a giant laser beam at the planet full of cute little puppies. With Fluttershy watching.
“I… I think Minty is right,” Rainbow Dash managed to say, “You’re too young to watch it.”
Scootaloo saddened, but said nothing, when they went out of the shop. The filly took her scooter and drove away leaving Rainbow Dash alone in the rain. At least until she realised that it was raining only in the place she was standing. She looked up.
“Derpy, what are you doing with that cloud!?”
“Whoops, my bad! I’m sorry!” the grey pegasus shouted and flew away, dragging a cloud somewhere. First I had to refuse Scoots and now I’m yelling at Derpy… Really, I feel like going to princess Celestia and tell her to send me to the Moon. thought Rainbow Dash, but instead of that she decided to fly to Twilight’s library.
***
The Carousel Boutique was rather empty at this time of day. Rarity was standing with a pair of ponies who were watching one of her newest dresses, when Scootaloo came in.
“Hello Rarity! Is Sweetie Belle here?” she asked.
“Hello, Scootaloo! She’ll be right back, you can wait for her here, but be careful and don’t break anything,” Rarity replied and trotted back to her clients. They left the boutique soon, and before Sweetie Belle returned, her sister managed to make Scootaloo try two dresses from her “My Little Pegasus” collection. She also tried to convince her to have her hooves polished but filly refused. Dresses were one thing (Rarity once told her that even Rainbow Dash always dresses in style) but hoof polish was just… no. Luckily, Sweetie Belle came back from the shop and saved Scootaloo from complete humiliation.
“What’s up, Scoots?” she asked, when they went to her room, in a safe distance from Rarity and her precious dresses.
“I’ve been with Rainbow Dash in the video rental shop and…” Scootaloo told her the whole story. Sweetie was amazed.
“Wow, Rainbow Dash was an actress! You know, I once overheard Rarity saying that she wanted to become an actress too. She even went to a casting.”
“And what happened?” Scootaloo asked.
“She resigned. She said that she didn’t knew it was a blue movie. I don’t get it. Movies aren’t usually blue, are they?”
“No, old ones are black and white and new ones are mostly in colour. But blue ones? I’ve never heard of them. Never mind, I can’t borrow that movie, and Rainbow Dash also didn’t want to borrow it for me.”
“But why?”
“She said that I’m too young and that this movie is rubbish. But I think she’d make every movie awesome! There has to be the way to watch it…’ Scootaloo started to think.
“I think I have an idea…” Sweetie Belle said suddenly, “You only have to watch Rarity for me for a moment…”
***
Twilight just finished reorganizing the bookshelves in her library, when she heard loud sound of balloons popping coming from the outside, followed by a “thud!” as if something heavy hit the ground. Good thing that Pinkie gave me those barrage party balloons, unicorn thought. Pinkie also offered her anti-aircraft party cannons, but she refused, thinking that it would be too much.
Soon the door opened and Rainbow Dash came into the library.
“Hey, have you seen those balloons outside? Somepony strapped ropes to them and I got tangled!”
“Oh yeah, I put them there to protect the library from low-passing pegasi,” said Twilight innocently.
“Good idea, some pegasi are a real pain in the rump,’ Rainbow Dash nodded, completely oblivious to sarcasm, “Not only they hit trees but they also fly when they have stomach problems, or…”
“Dash, please…” Twilight frowned at the mental image.
“Oh, sorry…” Rainbow Dash seemed to be lost in her thoughts, “What I wanted to say… I need your advice!”
“What kind of advice?”
“Did you ever have a shameful secret and was afraid that somepony would find it out?”
“Oh…” at first Twilight was puzzled, but then her lips formed a large smile. Rainbow Dash thought that she just came up with an idea of the friendship report.
“Don’t worry, Dash,” the librarian said, “There’s nothing to be ashamed about, Equestria is a tolerant society and I bet Apples will be happy when you and Applejack…”
“What?” Rainbow Dash stared at, confused. “No, it’s not that! I mean… I’m not into Applejack!”
“You’re not?” Twilight’s smile faded.
“No! Even if Pinkie says otherwise!”
“Somepony called me?” Pinkie shouted behind Rainbow Dash’s back. She’d swear that pink pony wasn’t there a moment ago.
“Pinkie! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”
“Oki-dokie-lokie! ” Pinkie saluted, ”I heard you have a problem with that movie, so I came to help you!”
“That’s great, but… hey, how do you know about the movie?”
“I’ve read about it,” Pinkie explained.
“What… where?”
“Just few pages up, at the very beginning of the story,”
Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight, who responded with the similar confused look. Pinkie was being Pinkie. More than ever.
“What else did you read?” the pegasus asked.
“Oh, many things! For example the story the movie was based on. And its sequel. And alternative endings…”
“What? There was no sequel! Gag Reel thought about it, but he ran out of money,”
“… and I’ve read that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are thinking about a way to get the movie, and how to make best cup…”
“Wait! What are they planning to do?”
“I don’t know, Sweetie only told Scoots to watch Rarity, then there were three stars in the middle of the page and then you hit my barrage balloons! Best way to protect parties from death from above!”
Rainbow Dash had a feeling that the headache is on the way. She turned to Twilight, the homing beacon in the veil of insanity.
“How is that even possible?” she asked, pointing at Pinkie, who was now listing ways to protect the parties from various dangers, from a proton torpedo hitting the thermal exhaust port to demolition of Equestria in order to make a place for hyperspace bypass.
“I have a theory, that she can read everything that was ever written in both this and alternative universes, because she’s directly connected to L-space,” explained Twilight.
“L-space? What the hay is that?”
“It’s short for “Library space”, it connects all the libraries and book repositories in the multiverse. Books can seep from one library to another, and there are theories that it explains almost everything: humans, legends about a flat world that rests on the backs of four elephants that stand on the back of the turtle, and even how that silly song about a hedgehog appeared in Equestria.”
Rainbow Dash suddenly felt, that the light at the end of the dark tunnel that was keeping her sane, happened to be the headlights of an incoming train. There was only one thing she could do.
“You know what, girls? I’ll go to Rarity, to see what Scootaloo is doing there,” she said. Twilight and Pinkie didn’t notice her, talking about L-space.
“If I meet Lyra Heartstrings, I’ll tell her that you scientifically proved the existence of humans. She’ll probably be happy to come here and ask you to give her a hand.”
They were still talking, so she shrugged and flew out of the library. Soon half of the Ponyville heard the loud “pop”, accompanied by several words little fillies were forbidden to use.
***
Carousel Boutique was suspiciously empty. The lights were turned off and when Rainbow Dash landed in front of the door, she noticed the large “closed” sign hung on the knob. She knocked at the door anyway, but nopony answered. She only heard a loud wailing somewhere on the first floor.
“Scoots?” she shouted, “Rarity?”
Still nopony answered, so she took off and flew inside the boutique through the open window. Well, it wasn’t open before she kicked it, but after that it remained open until Rarity called someone to fix it.
“Is there anypony in there?” Rainbow Dash asked, but heard only echo. And loud cry, coming from Sweetie Belle’s room. She trotted there quickly and kicked the door open. What she saw there surprised here even more than the fact that Twilight knew about Applejack.
In the middle of the room stood Rarity’s favourite couch, complete with the fashionista lying on it and sobbing loudly.
“Rarity! What happened?”
“Sweeeeetieeeeeeee Beeelleeeeeeeeeeeeee!” the unicorn cried.
“Something wrong happened to her?” asked Rainbow Dash quickly, hoping that Scootaloo didn’t get ideas after watching the movie (which she probably did). This filly was weird sometimes. For example she never told Rainbow Dash, what exactly happened to her parents.
“Sheeee toooooooook my laaaaptoooooooop!”
Rainbow Dash facehoofed.
“So?” she asked. Rarity calmed down a bit, but still was lying on the couch, sobbing from time to time.
“She took it and went somewhere with Scootaloo. And there’s new episode of Desperate Housemares today and I can’t downloaaaaaad it!” she started to cry again.
“There, there,” said Rainbow Dash, hugging the unicorn and patting her head. “Couldn’t you just check if they are in the Clubhouse with Apple Bloom?” Rarity cried even louder, wrapping her forelegs around Dash’s neck.
Of course you couldn’t, thought Rainbow Dash, Such an occasion to make a drama couldn’t be wasted…
“Er… Rarity? Could you stop hugging me like that? Not that I don’t like you, but I feel a bit awkward…” she said.
“Oh, sorry,” replied the fashionista, suddenly stopping crying, “I don’t know if Applejack would like it…”
“Don’t worry, she doesn’t mind…”
“Oh, that’s great, darling…”
“…because she’s not my marefriend…”
“I always thought that you two look good together…”
“Who said I was into mares in the first place?”
“…and Pinkie will prepare the wedding, and I’ll make dresses for both of you, and…”
“You don’t listen to me, do you?”
“…and then you’ll spend the honeymoon in Saddle Arabia and…”
“Even if I told you that I’m in love with Big Macintosh, you wouldn’t hear me…”
“You’re in love with Big Mac too? Aww, darling, that’s kinky…”
“You know what? I’ll go find the Crusaders and recapture your laptop, ok?” said Rainbow Dash and flew away through the window, leaving Rarity on her own little Shipping Planet, population: one unicorn and one couch.
***
Rainbow Dash was pissed. At first she wanted to fly directly to the clubhouse, but near the gate of Sweet Apple Acres she spotted Applejack, pulling a cart with apples.
“Hello!” she said when she landed in front of her, “You’ll never believe what happened to me today…”
“Rainbow Dash! Applejack!”, somepony called them. They looked around and saw Lyra, coming down the nearby road.
“I’m glad I see you, girls”, she said, approaching them, “I can’t express my happiness when I found out that you two… you know,’ she blinked. “Anyway, take a look at this,” she levitated to them two colourful leaflets, “Bonnie and I are coming too, the more the merrier!”
“Oh yes, that’s great,” Rainbow Dash deadpanned, “Listen, Lyra I have something to tell you…”
She whispered something to green mare’s ear, causing her to jump in excitement.
“That’s awesome! I'm going to the library!” she exclaimed, and ran quickly down the road.
“So, what happen’d?” asked Applejack, as if they weren’t interrupted.
“Well, this sums all that up very well,” said Rainbow Dash, showing her a leaflet advertising Canterlot Pride Festival, “It was only once, and now everypony think we’re a couple! Rarity is even planning our wedding at the moment!”
“Ah have no idea, sugarcube, but Ah think that has something to do with all that “Cutie Mark Crusaders – Spies” idea,” Applejack laughed.
“Oh Celestia, I could have seen that coming…” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and slammed her head against the cart, “Are they still trying to become spies?”
“Ah don’t think so, but Ah’ve heard something like “Cutie Mark Crusaders – Movie Critics”, like, two hours ago…”
“Celestiabuckindammit! Sorry, Jackie, we’ll talk about it later, now I must go and stop Scootaloo from accidentally shattering her innocence to pieces!” she shouted just before the take-off. Applejack scratched her head.
“Well, sugarcube,” she said, “Now Ah wonder where did y’all hid the camera in that barn…”
***
The sun was setting and, in the dusk, she hit several trees on her way to the clubhouse, adding some new scratches to those she had after two meetings with Pinkie’s barrage balloons. Finally she got to the clubhouse, landed on the branch and opened the door abruptly only to realize that she came too late.
“You have beautiful eyes,” said the pony on the screen, and the movie ended with the quick camera zoom to Rainbow Dash’s shrunken pupils.
I wonder if they downloaded the version with alternative endings pegasus thought, remembering suddenly how they had prepared a pony-sized dummies filled with artificial blood and intestines to film the rainbow-producing scenes. She was quickly brought back to reality when she realized that three fillies are staring at her in silence, scared almost to death.
And then they screamed.
Rainbow Dash had to cover her ears with hooves to protect her eardrums. Many miles from that place Princess Luna had to interrupt her Moon-raising spell in order to do the same.
“WHO ART THOU TO DISTURB US!? WE DEMAND THEE TO ANSWER!” she shouted.
The distant echo of Royal Canterlot Voice hit Scootaloo. She stopped screaming, took a look at confused Rainbow Dash and decided to flee. The sound of cracking wood caused Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom to stop screaming too.
“Don’t worry, girls, it’s only me,” said Rainbow Dash, and looked through a pony-shaped hole in the wall. A violet trail could be seen, starting from the clubhouse and disappearing in the distance. Suddenly they heard an explosion, and the rainbow consisting of different shades of violet appeared in the sky. A decade later some fillies were insisting, that they found their special talents when they looked at it.
“Wow… that kid can really fly…” Rainbow Dash said, staring in awe at the cerise-coloured sky.
Author's Note
How to call it? Sonic Scootaboom?
