Princess Luna's Assistant.by PrincessLunas AssistantChapters1. First day jitters.2. Cheeky.3. The room.4. Of coffee and gas clouds.5. Game.1. First day jitters.I stand in front of the castle; a few beads of sweat generated by the summer heat sapped away my confidence. When there's one bead of sweat, there's a thousand coming. I really don't want to lose a job like this one over sweat and the associated B.O. I pushed my small rectangular glasses up to my eyes and use magic to lift two black leather suitcases behind me. My mane is short, jet-black and combed to the right hoof side of my head. I've always felt my body was odd, a natural jet-black mane and tail combined with my dark red body just looks....weird to me. I have terrible vision; I can see things within about ten to twenty meters, however beyond that I'm basically blind. A few mares have commented on my glasses in the past, they say the glasses make me seem like more of a brainiac than I already am. By the way: I am technically a 'genius'; I use 'technically' because I always felt smart but never smart enough to be called a genius. Well, now here's a little history lesson. I was born about twenty five and a half years ago to two loving parents. One was a kinda short awkwardly-funny mare named Mist Flicker. The other was a tall and very burly, 'genius', named Red Dust. As a colt I was very, very, very, very, very, (Did I mention 'very'?) shy. I preferred the company of a book or writing up a character of my own, to that of a living individual. In school, I went to school and was born in Baltimare by the way, I slowly grew to be a bit more social than a book reading boulder with glasses. I did have a few fresh and blood friends by the age of ten. Then when I hit the legal age of adulthood I went to college in Manehatten. I studied business management, basic nursing, and a few other things. Most of the 'other things' were financially and politically oriented courses but a few of them are the reason I got my latest job. Okay, so after college I went to Ponyvile lived there for five years then, due to budget cuts, I was let go as the mare's assistant and I had to search for work. A few weeks of searching for work and just a few days ago I received a letter from the desk of Princess Luna asking if I would like to be her assistant and I agreed. One twelve hour train ride and here I am standing in front of a castle sweating from the summer heat and my own anxiety. I feel my heart beating at about the speed of light (maybe faster). I take a few steps towards the entrance,two guards in full gold-colored block my path in front of a gold-colored gate with a sun and a moon painted on a metal circle that broke in two when the gate opened. I clear my throat and speak. "I'm Star Dasher. I'm umm......uhhh....here to work for Princess Luna." They exchange a glance and nod to each other. "Proceed!" The one to the right grunts as he kicks the gate open with his left rear hoof. The other one talks instead of grunting. "Her office and bedroom are located on the second largest tower. End of the hallway on the top floor. You may only enter the office, if Luna is not present wait outside the office." He says in a dark tone. The grunting one comes in to the conversation again. "Her office doors are the double doors on the left. If you enter the right single door bedroom you will be ejected from the castle!" I took the warning to heart and kept repeating in my mind "Double doors! Double doors! Double doors!". As I mentally shout at myself, I walk through the castle. I stop for directions every fifty to seventy five meters of walking; it was a great pain to do so but the castle is quite confusing! By the time I reached the top floor of the second tallest tower, I am lightly doused in sweat from anxiety, the inside of the castle is kept at a cool temperature via magic, so every drop of my sweat was made by nerves of glass. I enjoy getting out of the summer heat but I am now worried that my nervous sweat would ward off Princesses looking for assistants. At the end of a long hallway at the top of the second tallest tower is three doors, two doors across from one other door. I go to the down the hall and turn left towards the double doors. The hallway is had a white and black marble floor with white stone walls and a ceiling that is curved. The curve of the ceiling goes up about three meters before it curves back down to the other wall. I look to my right and left along the white walls and see many famous paintings. The Princess and the comedian, a famous one of Celestia on stage with some unknown male comedian. There's also one of a a screaming pony with his hooves on either side of his face, standing on what looks to be a dock or water-adjacent area. There's also a framed piece of parchment, it's the finished work of Equestria first system of laws. Or at least a replica of that paper that stated the original laws and regulations that governed each initial citizen. My heart's temperature drops to absolute zero and every atom of matter that composed it froze in an cold pause. I raise my right fore hoof and knock three times. A female voice calls back. "One moment please! We....ah I mean 'I' am busy!" I leaned in close and try to sound calm. "I understand, Princess. I am Star Dasher here to start my first day as your-" The door opens and hits my nose like an asteroid hitting a glass house. 2. Cheeky.I shout in agony as my nose crunches beneath the door. I jump back and fall on my back both of my fore hooves going to my nose. My shouts are nasally and demonstrate pain in tones of mixed anger and fear. "Ow my nhose! For the love of Celestisa I thzink I broke my nhose!" I shout to the peak volume capable by my lungs. I hear a feminine scream of shock and terror. "Oh my!" Princess Luna enters my vision and drops to my right side. "Let me see it! Move your hooves!" I obey and drop my hooves despite every instinct to cradle my nose. She cringes. "I am so sorry, Star Dasher! Please come on, can you stand? Let me clean that up!" She assists me as I attempt to stand and am forced to cry at the same time. No matter who or what you are, if you take a good whap! to the nose you will have tears. My glasses lay on the floor a few meters from where I had been hit. I don't get a good look at them, but no damage appeared to have been done. To be fair ,however, I am looking through tears and not focusing on getting led to a place where the Princess could give me some medical aid for my possibly broken nasal passages. The Princess leads me across the hall to the bedroom. I have forgotten all about the ejection warning at this point and besides, the Princess was leading me. She opens the door and guides me in. I am walking with my fore hooves over my blood-hose of a nose. Little red drips get through and fall to the carpet. "S-sorry about the carpet!" I say through tears and blood. "Shhh" Luna says trying to keep me quiet. "It is not your concern. It is my fault you are bleeding. " She leads me with her right wing over me and her right fore hoof keeping me close to guide me. "I have a little medical kit in my bathroom for nasty boo-boos like this." Luna and I hobble towards a bathroom past a large, curtained, purple bed and a few pieces of basic bedroom furniture. A few dressers, a book shelf or two, and a few tables and chairs. Luna opened the door to the mainly white bathroom with purple shower curtains and a few little moons taped onto, or sewn into every thing. She looks above the sink to a mirror cabinet that she opens with magic. On the inside there were three rows of shelves. One of them had small red medical kit about the size of good-sized book. It hovers down in a field of dark blue light; I was hanging my head over the toilet and resting my chin against the rim. Blood turned the water a redish-pink color. I sneezed and then groaned in agony as my nose began to throb. A few droplets of blood ran down the sides of the toilet bowl porcelain. Luna sits next to me and places a hoof on my back. "Lean back." She says. I obey and lean my head and back as far back as they would go. Luna took out a few bandages and disinfectant. "This may hurt a little." She says. _________________________________________ Princess Luna is a bit worrying. She's clearly one of those mares with strong motherly instincts. I've never had a princess worry about my head. Luna fears that I may have suffered a minor concussion. She has me lay in her bed for a minute and warns me that if I fall asleep she'll stick her horn 'where the sun doesn't shine'. That confuses me for a second then I realize what she had said and laugh. Luna leaves the room and leaves me to my thoughts. The Princess's bed is quite comfortable. Purple-blue sheets with many suns and moons, I think they are made of silk or something like it. The pillows lack any pillow cases but are made of quickly welcoming material and have good designs already. They are striped horizontally with blue and violet and seem to glow in low-light. The curtains that came down from a skeleton frame held up by the corners of the bed, let very little light in. To be fair, the room's two windows had thick curtains. It seemed to me that the princess of the night was obsessed with purple and blue. Luna reenters the room with a guard behind her. "I found a guard who has medical expertise. I just want to be sure you do not have a concussion." The guard has terrible bed-side manner. He is a tad rough in his examination. Like the one at the gate, he grunts and seems very stern. He makes me move my head in odd ways and watch the tip of a pen as he moves it around and watches my eyes. This goes on for a few minutes then he stops. "Well......no concussion. Your nose will heal in a few days maybe a week or two at most." He grunts. Then he leaves with a minor few mumbles to himself. Something about not getting paid enough to assist the Princess's attempted murder victims. Luna smiles at me. "I'm sorry about your nose." "It's no problem. I left my glasses and suit cases in the hall. Could you go get my glasses?" I ask as I start to get up. Luna put a hoof on my shoulder and leans in, she gives me a kiss on the cheek. "I hope your second day will be better." Luna says as she goes off to find my glasses. I feel as if my body temperature has jumped twenty degrees. I put a hoof to the spot were I was kissed. As I rise from the bed and move the curtains aside to clear a path for me. Once up and on my feet I feel the need to pee and quickly walk to the bedroom's bathroom. 3. The room.I stand before the Princess of the Sun. My average sized body trembled from horn to tail. I make vain attempts to ignore this shaking in the hopes it would simply go away. I must be a sight of some humor here; barely able to stand due to my nerves of glass, a bandage over my nose made it difficult to speak and forced me breath through my mouth, my glasses had a large crack in the right lens. It has been exactly one hour and four minutes since my nose was injured, Luna was doing paperwork and Celestia had requested to meet me. I wonder if Celestia already knows that my new boss nearly broke my nose. One of the guards that regularly looked after Celestia led me to her. She had a nice 'throne' room; I wouldn't quite say throne, maybe atrium. The room was very.... in lack of a better word: large. This next bit may sound at tad odd coming from a shy pony like myself, but I adore dancing and opera. I've been ballroom dancing since I was able to walk and performing Opera for just as long, possibly longer! Anyhow, the reason I bring that up is: at the last Grand Galloping Gala they used a different section The acoustics in that area were dreadful, not good for music, singing, etc. Anyhow, Celestia's throne room was honestly a large waste of space. Aside from some large golden sculptures and paintings the room was very. very, empty. Without these miscellaneous sculptures and paintings the room would simply be a large rectangular room with a fancy chair. I approached Celestia like a very scared pony approaching a dangerous tiger. I walked slowly and with much caution; it seemed as if I expected the Princess to pounce on me with a knife. She smiled at me the entire walk up to the throne. "You must be Star Dasher. Your file did say 'shy'." She says with a grin. "Princess Luna bragged about her supposed 'perfect assistant'. She was impressed with your files and the complements of your previous employers." She extends a hoof. At first I was tempted to simply shake her hoof then I thought. This is a Princess, I should treat her like one. I take her hoof with mine and bend down to lightly kiss it. Then I let her hoof go and returned to an attention stance. Princess Celestia looked at me with a quizzical gaze. "A simple hoof shake would have sufficed, but I'm quite flattered." My face's temperature jumps ten degrees. "Oh....ummmm....." I begin to try and form words nervously. "Do not worry, Star Dasher. Sometimes a princess likes to be flirted with." Celestia says with a laugh. "Keep that up and I might fight with Luna over you." She says with a wink. ummmm.....what? The wink gave me pauses. Was she serious or just kidding? I was never one for jokes and sarcasm. I usually have trouble telling the difference between sarcasm and truth unless it's very obvious. I laugh nervously as I try to use mental tricks to fool my mind back into a calm state. "Princess-" "Please just call me 'Tia or Celestia. You have permission to drop the formalities." She says with a kind smile. "Alright." I say resuming the sentence I had begun to construct. "'Tia, why did you call me here? Is this simply a friendly inquiry?" "You could say it is a meet and greet." 'Tia says as a paper appears in mid air and unrolls for her to view. "Ah, Twilight wrote me a letter. We can pick up this meet and greet at another time" Celestia looks to a guard at her right. "Take the dashing Mr. Dasher to his bedroom." she says with another curiously made wink to me. ________________________________ The room I was to live in while working with Princess was exactly below her bedroom. When I was left at the room I found my suitcases waiting for me on a large fancy bed. It was purple and royal blue, it would appear as if Luna picked out the colors for my room. The curtains and wall paper were a matching shade of dark purple, the bed was blue and purple as I said with the same striped pillows that Luna has. There was even a large flag version of her cutie-mark above the head board of the bed. I did quite like Luna mark, it made for a good decoration. I love the night anyhow, I always been fascinated with the many worlds and stars above my head each night ever since I was very young. I had decided that I wouldn't mess around with the decor all that much. I might put a few pictures of family and friends or maybe some art work but that would be the extent of my changes. For now, I would simply unpack and rest. There were many empty book shelves and dressers lining the walls. I didn't bring many things, I figured that for the must month or two my time here would be a trial run. When Luna hired me she seemed to be looking for an assistant who would work for a long time with her. She seemed to be searching for somepony who is willing to assume a life long position at her side. For now I can't say I want to do that, but I suppose a month of two should assist me in deciding if I want that or not. if all goes well I'll sell my home and move in, probably within nine to ten months. If all doesn't go well... I'm out of a job and must once again look for work. Well those are future plans, for now I should just rest and think about the present. 4. Of coffee and gas clouds.I awoke sometime in the middle of night. A large clock mounted on the east most wall of my room (my bed's headboard was pressed up against the north most wall) told me it was nearly two in the morning. I got out of the bed with much difficulty; I was quite impressed with the bed I had been provided. It was comfortable and just to my liking, not to firm and not too squishy. I was tempted to simply lay back and enjoy the comfort, maybe let my mind run around itself for a little while as I drift in and out of sleep. I then felt a great urge to use the restroom and not a number one! I was up and about within about three or four minutes of looking at the clock shortly after waking up. The bathroom connected to my bedroom was nearly identical to Princess Luna's bathroom. I won't go into detail on the bodily functions that were used in the process of going number two, but I will say that due to that function of my bowels I will quarantine the bathroom for about five or six hours. After the bowel movement I left the bedroom on a journey for coffee. I had to wonder where I could locate coffee at two in the A.M. Outside my bedroom there were two guards standing in attention on either side of the door. They wore black armor...Luna's guards? What are Luna's guards doing outside my room!? "Um......hi." I say looking at them with a quizzical look. "Good morning, sir." One grunts as he continues to stare off into the wall on the other side of the hallway. "Ummmm whatcha doin'?" I ask wondering why there are guards positioned out side my room. "Following an order by Princess Luna, sir!" The other grunts. I sigh and decide I haven't been up long enough to really care just yet. My brain was still functioning at it's lowest efficiency without the fuel it so desperately craved. Hint: it rhymes with Toffee! "Fine." I say with another sigh following shortly after. "Just direct me to some coffee." One of them cracks a smile. The other gives him a sharp look, giving a signal for the smiling one to regain his composure and quickly. However the damage was done, to another mind the guard that smiled would appear to be an amateur. With me, though, I understood, sometimes you can't help but smile at somethings. It's only Equestrian to do so. I decide a polite but firm inquiry will suffice. I was considering the commonly used phrase "Something funny?" then as my vocal chords began to generate sound I switched to "Just direct me to the coffee." "Princess Luna does not require sleep but drinks coffee to keep her nerves and mind artificially sharp at night. She has a pot in her bedroom and one in her office. Knock on the office doors first and if you are left without an answer from within knock lightly on the bedroom door." The guard that smiled says. "Thank you." I say groggily walking towards the stairs as I finish pronouncing the 'you'. I quickly trotted up the stairs. I wanted to dash up there like a starving animal that has the scent of meat... but I hadn't had my coffee yet and required every ounce of strength just to make my way to the coffee. I know I've mentioned coffee a lot lately; but I'm like a zombie-pony. Cups of coffee are my "brainsss". Anyhow within a minute of walking away from the guards, I was standing in front of the double office doors. I was a tad nervous, I almost felt a slight fear for the doors since last time one of them slammed into my nose. I put a hoof to my bandage after a second of trying to sniff and failing, I knocked on the door. "Who's there?" The Princess calls from within. With the next words I took notice to just how nasally my voice still was if I spoke at a slightly elevated volume. "Star Dasher, ma'am." I call through the wooden doors, my voice cracking slightly from general anxiety. I lean back, then take a cautionary step back from the doors. The door opens quickly and Luna is standing just two meters from me. "Please don't call me 'ma'am.' Authority is over rated unless it's used in romance." I am puzzled by this. What does she mean? How is authority used in romance of any kind? "Ummmm what?" I ask forgetting my general anxiety for a second to ponder this statement. "The dominance and submissive sides in a relationship. When in the bedroom, authority can be made, temporarily, as once individual exerts dominance over the other in order to stimulate the both of them." Luna says nonchalantly. I make a confused face at her. "What?" She asks noticing my puzzled expression. "Why in the wide world of Equestria is the Princess of the night pondering stimulation through dominance?" I ask. "Why in the wide world of Equestria is said Princess's new assistant at her door at two in the morning?" Luna asks in retort. "Are you hear to discuss the psychological mechanics behind sexual stimulation or would you like to come in and talk about something else?" she asks jokingly. "I just want some coffee and one of the guards you posted outside my door said you have some." I state in a polite manner. "I also wouldn't mind some conversation, but umm please not on sexual stimulations or the mechanics behind them." I say with a light chuckle. Luna steps aside. "Come in. I have a fresh pot of coffee and I am currently in the process of mapping a nebula not far from Equestria." She says with a gentle smile. I walk into the office. There's a small balcony right across from the entrance door. A large mainly golden or brass telescope was mounted on the balcony. It wasn't just some little telescope on a tripod. No. This probably weighed nearly half ton and was brought in in many, many small pieces. There was a small canvas on one of those standing panting apparatuses. It had a colored sketch of a gas cloud. The gas cloud was currently half completed, but well done thus far. This must've been Luna's nebula. The balcony had small half walls on either side of the mounted telescope, they were a little wide. Just wide enough for a few cups of coffee, maybe a plate of food, to rest on it safely. There was some room between the stone half walls and the telescope. This is to allow movement by the telescope, not just vertically but horizontally as well. I spotted a pot of coffee to the right of the telescope and a coffee cup within a few inches. Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! 5. Game.I suppose once you're past the fact that she's a princes, Luna is quite a pleasant pony. Sadly I'm a wreck when it comes to getting past these outer layers. Throughout the entire time I was there I simply sipped coffee and avoided eye contact with the Princess. Now that I was fully awake my mind has gone into full blown introvert mode. I sort of receded into myself emotionally, using as many one or two word answers as possible. I reverted to using "Yes." and "Uh huh" and of course "I understand". She quickly took notice to this and spoke up. "You come all this way to just to get coffee and then turn into a hermit crab?" She asks. I'm unsure if she's joking or annoyed. "I....ummmm......well a coffee is good. I....think....less when I'm tired. The more I think the shyer I get, it's just a kinda quirk." I say as I look at a drawing of the gas cloud. It's quite pretty, even if it is just a scientific chart design. "That's a very cute perk. You must be the master of playing hard-to-get." She jokes as I set the chart down on the half wall. I move a coffee mug closer to my lips and down the last of my third full cup. "I suppose that's umm one way of putting it." I squeak out avoiding eye contact with the princess. She takes a second of silence to think quickly. Luna gets an odd look about her when she thinks deeply. She usually looks to the ceiling or sky at an angle, then raises a hoof to her chin or lips. An eyebrow could also raise while the other lowers, she sometimes hums a kind of tune while she does so. "How about we play a quick game?" I raise an eye brow, then mumble out a response. "What kind of 'game'?" I ask. "The kind that allows you to find out a little more about the other individual. Here's how it works, I pick a topic, you tell me something relevant that involves that topic and yourself. Like if I say 'color' you could tell me your favorite color and why you like it." Luna explains with a comforting smile to me. "Then you pick a top and I answer you in the same fashion." "Oh, okay." I say with a slight smile. "That sounds uhh fun. Go ahead..I suppose." I say with a curving smile. " 'Romance'. " Luna says grinning at me. Unexpected. "Ummmm well.....my first mare friend was at about age ten. She was very....out going and took great joy in making me.....uncomfortable at every possible moment. She gave me my first kiss and was the first mare who ever met my parents under the designation of 'Star's marefriend'." I say with a blushing feeling soaring throughout my face. Luna sits attentively as she listens to me, her eyes barely dwell from mine as I speak. "Good. Now you pick a topic for me." Luna says with a wave of her hoof. I grin lightly then give her the topic on my mind. " 'Me.' " I say. "You're fascinating." Luna says. "I find you cute, physically appealing, and of course interesting. I'm a fan of puzzles and challenges; to me, you're both of those things. I'd feel a sense of success to be your friend; to have any sort of connection to you beyond that of an employer, really." As she speaks, I nod my head a bit. I try to not make eye contact, but can't help myself at some points. She'd catch me looking at her eyes and her smile would increase a little bit. Then I'd shy my eyes away from hers and her smile would dampen, but not fade fully. "Okay, now I guess you give me a topic now." I suggest with a grin as I wait patiently. She repeats my own topic. " 'Me' " She says with a smirk of her own. I put up one hoof, telling her to give me a minute. I think of exactly what I want to say to her. Once I have the idea in mind I began to form the words. "Higher authority usually makes me nervous, when I accepted this job I realized that I'd be nervous...a lot. Working this closely to a princess would be....interesting." "Hmmm." She hums as I finish my statement. "So ummm what's you're next topic, ma'am?" I ask politely. I'm beginning to somewhat enjoy this game. "Hmmmm...give me one minute." She says going into her thinking pose once again. I grin at her slightly-funny pose and think about what I look like when I think deeply. I always picture myself seeming somewhat deep while I think, but then again I'm not the one looking at me while I think. "How about....'Arts' any art form you practice." "I'm not bad with clay. I made a four foot alicorn once when I was like fifth teen or so. I think my parent's still have it." I say remembering the old thing. I used a few pictures and portraits to make it. All of them were of Celestia but I modified the physical attributes enough to make it look nothing like her, although the basic physiology is there. When 'Princess Twilight Sparkle' was announced, my parents said my old sculpture looked just like her. I was at the ceremony and took notice of this days before their letter arrived though. I remember laughing my booty off at the ceremony.
1. First day jitters.I stand in front of the castle; a few beads of sweat generated by the summer heat sapped away my confidence. When there's one bead of sweat, there's a thousand coming. I really don't want to lose a job like this one over sweat and the associated B.O. I pushed my small rectangular glasses up to my eyes and use magic to lift two black leather suitcases behind me. My mane is short, jet-black and combed to the right hoof side of my head. I've always felt my body was odd, a natural jet-black mane and tail combined with my dark red body just looks....weird to me. I have terrible vision; I can see things within about ten to twenty meters, however beyond that I'm basically blind. A few mares have commented on my glasses in the past, they say the glasses make me seem like more of a brainiac than I already am. By the way: I am technically a 'genius'; I use 'technically' because I always felt smart but never smart enough to be called a genius. Well, now here's a little history lesson. I was born about twenty five and a half years ago to two loving parents. One was a kinda short awkwardly-funny mare named Mist Flicker. The other was a tall and very burly, 'genius', named Red Dust. As a colt I was very, very, very, very, very, (Did I mention 'very'?) shy. I preferred the company of a book or writing up a character of my own, to that of a living individual. In school, I went to school and was born in Baltimare by the way, I slowly grew to be a bit more social than a book reading boulder with glasses. I did have a few fresh and blood friends by the age of ten. Then when I hit the legal age of adulthood I went to college in Manehatten. I studied business management, basic nursing, and a few other things. Most of the 'other things' were financially and politically oriented courses but a few of them are the reason I got my latest job. Okay, so after college I went to Ponyvile lived there for five years then, due to budget cuts, I was let go as the mare's assistant and I had to search for work. A few weeks of searching for work and just a few days ago I received a letter from the desk of Princess Luna asking if I would like to be her assistant and I agreed. One twelve hour train ride and here I am standing in front of a castle sweating from the summer heat and my own anxiety. I feel my heart beating at about the speed of light (maybe faster). I take a few steps towards the entrance,two guards in full gold-colored block my path in front of a gold-colored gate with a sun and a moon painted on a metal circle that broke in two when the gate opened. I clear my throat and speak. "I'm Star Dasher. I'm umm......uhhh....here to work for Princess Luna." They exchange a glance and nod to each other. "Proceed!" The one to the right grunts as he kicks the gate open with his left rear hoof. The other one talks instead of grunting. "Her office and bedroom are located on the second largest tower. End of the hallway on the top floor. You may only enter the office, if Luna is not present wait outside the office." He says in a dark tone. The grunting one comes in to the conversation again. "Her office doors are the double doors on the left. If you enter the right single door bedroom you will be ejected from the castle!" I took the warning to heart and kept repeating in my mind "Double doors! Double doors! Double doors!". As I mentally shout at myself, I walk through the castle. I stop for directions every fifty to seventy five meters of walking; it was a great pain to do so but the castle is quite confusing! By the time I reached the top floor of the second tallest tower, I am lightly doused in sweat from anxiety, the inside of the castle is kept at a cool temperature via magic, so every drop of my sweat was made by nerves of glass. I enjoy getting out of the summer heat but I am now worried that my nervous sweat would ward off Princesses looking for assistants. At the end of a long hallway at the top of the second tallest tower is three doors, two doors across from one other door. I go to the down the hall and turn left towards the double doors. The hallway is had a white and black marble floor with white stone walls and a ceiling that is curved. The curve of the ceiling goes up about three meters before it curves back down to the other wall. I look to my right and left along the white walls and see many famous paintings. The Princess and the comedian, a famous one of Celestia on stage with some unknown male comedian. There's also one of a a screaming pony with his hooves on either side of his face, standing on what looks to be a dock or water-adjacent area. There's also a framed piece of parchment, it's the finished work of Equestria first system of laws. Or at least a replica of that paper that stated the original laws and regulations that governed each initial citizen. My heart's temperature drops to absolute zero and every atom of matter that composed it froze in an cold pause. I raise my right fore hoof and knock three times. A female voice calls back. "One moment please! We....ah I mean 'I' am busy!" I leaned in close and try to sound calm. "I understand, Princess. I am Star Dasher here to start my first day as your-" The door opens and hits my nose like an asteroid hitting a glass house.
2. Cheeky.I shout in agony as my nose crunches beneath the door. I jump back and fall on my back both of my fore hooves going to my nose. My shouts are nasally and demonstrate pain in tones of mixed anger and fear. "Ow my nhose! For the love of Celestisa I thzink I broke my nhose!" I shout to the peak volume capable by my lungs. I hear a feminine scream of shock and terror. "Oh my!" Princess Luna enters my vision and drops to my right side. "Let me see it! Move your hooves!" I obey and drop my hooves despite every instinct to cradle my nose. She cringes. "I am so sorry, Star Dasher! Please come on, can you stand? Let me clean that up!" She assists me as I attempt to stand and am forced to cry at the same time. No matter who or what you are, if you take a good whap! to the nose you will have tears. My glasses lay on the floor a few meters from where I had been hit. I don't get a good look at them, but no damage appeared to have been done. To be fair ,however, I am looking through tears and not focusing on getting led to a place where the Princess could give me some medical aid for my possibly broken nasal passages. The Princess leads me across the hall to the bedroom. I have forgotten all about the ejection warning at this point and besides, the Princess was leading me. She opens the door and guides me in. I am walking with my fore hooves over my blood-hose of a nose. Little red drips get through and fall to the carpet. "S-sorry about the carpet!" I say through tears and blood. "Shhh" Luna says trying to keep me quiet. "It is not your concern. It is my fault you are bleeding. " She leads me with her right wing over me and her right fore hoof keeping me close to guide me. "I have a little medical kit in my bathroom for nasty boo-boos like this." Luna and I hobble towards a bathroom past a large, curtained, purple bed and a few pieces of basic bedroom furniture. A few dressers, a book shelf or two, and a few tables and chairs. Luna opened the door to the mainly white bathroom with purple shower curtains and a few little moons taped onto, or sewn into every thing. She looks above the sink to a mirror cabinet that she opens with magic. On the inside there were three rows of shelves. One of them had small red medical kit about the size of good-sized book. It hovers down in a field of dark blue light; I was hanging my head over the toilet and resting my chin against the rim. Blood turned the water a redish-pink color. I sneezed and then groaned in agony as my nose began to throb. A few droplets of blood ran down the sides of the toilet bowl porcelain. Luna sits next to me and places a hoof on my back. "Lean back." She says. I obey and lean my head and back as far back as they would go. Luna took out a few bandages and disinfectant. "This may hurt a little." She says. _________________________________________ Princess Luna is a bit worrying. She's clearly one of those mares with strong motherly instincts. I've never had a princess worry about my head. Luna fears that I may have suffered a minor concussion. She has me lay in her bed for a minute and warns me that if I fall asleep she'll stick her horn 'where the sun doesn't shine'. That confuses me for a second then I realize what she had said and laugh. Luna leaves the room and leaves me to my thoughts. The Princess's bed is quite comfortable. Purple-blue sheets with many suns and moons, I think they are made of silk or something like it. The pillows lack any pillow cases but are made of quickly welcoming material and have good designs already. They are striped horizontally with blue and violet and seem to glow in low-light. The curtains that came down from a skeleton frame held up by the corners of the bed, let very little light in. To be fair, the room's two windows had thick curtains. It seemed to me that the princess of the night was obsessed with purple and blue. Luna reenters the room with a guard behind her. "I found a guard who has medical expertise. I just want to be sure you do not have a concussion." The guard has terrible bed-side manner. He is a tad rough in his examination. Like the one at the gate, he grunts and seems very stern. He makes me move my head in odd ways and watch the tip of a pen as he moves it around and watches my eyes. This goes on for a few minutes then he stops. "Well......no concussion. Your nose will heal in a few days maybe a week or two at most." He grunts. Then he leaves with a minor few mumbles to himself. Something about not getting paid enough to assist the Princess's attempted murder victims. Luna smiles at me. "I'm sorry about your nose." "It's no problem. I left my glasses and suit cases in the hall. Could you go get my glasses?" I ask as I start to get up. Luna put a hoof on my shoulder and leans in, she gives me a kiss on the cheek. "I hope your second day will be better." Luna says as she goes off to find my glasses. I feel as if my body temperature has jumped twenty degrees. I put a hoof to the spot were I was kissed. As I rise from the bed and move the curtains aside to clear a path for me. Once up and on my feet I feel the need to pee and quickly walk to the bedroom's bathroom.
3. The room.I stand before the Princess of the Sun. My average sized body trembled from horn to tail. I make vain attempts to ignore this shaking in the hopes it would simply go away. I must be a sight of some humor here; barely able to stand due to my nerves of glass, a bandage over my nose made it difficult to speak and forced me breath through my mouth, my glasses had a large crack in the right lens. It has been exactly one hour and four minutes since my nose was injured, Luna was doing paperwork and Celestia had requested to meet me. I wonder if Celestia already knows that my new boss nearly broke my nose. One of the guards that regularly looked after Celestia led me to her. She had a nice 'throne' room; I wouldn't quite say throne, maybe atrium. The room was very.... in lack of a better word: large. This next bit may sound at tad odd coming from a shy pony like myself, but I adore dancing and opera. I've been ballroom dancing since I was able to walk and performing Opera for just as long, possibly longer! Anyhow, the reason I bring that up is: at the last Grand Galloping Gala they used a different section The acoustics in that area were dreadful, not good for music, singing, etc. Anyhow, Celestia's throne room was honestly a large waste of space. Aside from some large golden sculptures and paintings the room was very. very, empty. Without these miscellaneous sculptures and paintings the room would simply be a large rectangular room with a fancy chair. I approached Celestia like a very scared pony approaching a dangerous tiger. I walked slowly and with much caution; it seemed as if I expected the Princess to pounce on me with a knife. She smiled at me the entire walk up to the throne. "You must be Star Dasher. Your file did say 'shy'." She says with a grin. "Princess Luna bragged about her supposed 'perfect assistant'. She was impressed with your files and the complements of your previous employers." She extends a hoof. At first I was tempted to simply shake her hoof then I thought. This is a Princess, I should treat her like one. I take her hoof with mine and bend down to lightly kiss it. Then I let her hoof go and returned to an attention stance. Princess Celestia looked at me with a quizzical gaze. "A simple hoof shake would have sufficed, but I'm quite flattered." My face's temperature jumps ten degrees. "Oh....ummmm....." I begin to try and form words nervously. "Do not worry, Star Dasher. Sometimes a princess likes to be flirted with." Celestia says with a laugh. "Keep that up and I might fight with Luna over you." She says with a wink. ummmm.....what? The wink gave me pauses. Was she serious or just kidding? I was never one for jokes and sarcasm. I usually have trouble telling the difference between sarcasm and truth unless it's very obvious. I laugh nervously as I try to use mental tricks to fool my mind back into a calm state. "Princess-" "Please just call me 'Tia or Celestia. You have permission to drop the formalities." She says with a kind smile. "Alright." I say resuming the sentence I had begun to construct. "'Tia, why did you call me here? Is this simply a friendly inquiry?" "You could say it is a meet and greet." 'Tia says as a paper appears in mid air and unrolls for her to view. "Ah, Twilight wrote me a letter. We can pick up this meet and greet at another time" Celestia looks to a guard at her right. "Take the dashing Mr. Dasher to his bedroom." she says with another curiously made wink to me. ________________________________ The room I was to live in while working with Princess was exactly below her bedroom. When I was left at the room I found my suitcases waiting for me on a large fancy bed. It was purple and royal blue, it would appear as if Luna picked out the colors for my room. The curtains and wall paper were a matching shade of dark purple, the bed was blue and purple as I said with the same striped pillows that Luna has. There was even a large flag version of her cutie-mark above the head board of the bed. I did quite like Luna mark, it made for a good decoration. I love the night anyhow, I always been fascinated with the many worlds and stars above my head each night ever since I was very young. I had decided that I wouldn't mess around with the decor all that much. I might put a few pictures of family and friends or maybe some art work but that would be the extent of my changes. For now, I would simply unpack and rest. There were many empty book shelves and dressers lining the walls. I didn't bring many things, I figured that for the must month or two my time here would be a trial run. When Luna hired me she seemed to be looking for an assistant who would work for a long time with her. She seemed to be searching for somepony who is willing to assume a life long position at her side. For now I can't say I want to do that, but I suppose a month of two should assist me in deciding if I want that or not. if all goes well I'll sell my home and move in, probably within nine to ten months. If all doesn't go well... I'm out of a job and must once again look for work. Well those are future plans, for now I should just rest and think about the present.
4. Of coffee and gas clouds.I awoke sometime in the middle of night. A large clock mounted on the east most wall of my room (my bed's headboard was pressed up against the north most wall) told me it was nearly two in the morning. I got out of the bed with much difficulty; I was quite impressed with the bed I had been provided. It was comfortable and just to my liking, not to firm and not too squishy. I was tempted to simply lay back and enjoy the comfort, maybe let my mind run around itself for a little while as I drift in and out of sleep. I then felt a great urge to use the restroom and not a number one! I was up and about within about three or four minutes of looking at the clock shortly after waking up. The bathroom connected to my bedroom was nearly identical to Princess Luna's bathroom. I won't go into detail on the bodily functions that were used in the process of going number two, but I will say that due to that function of my bowels I will quarantine the bathroom for about five or six hours. After the bowel movement I left the bedroom on a journey for coffee. I had to wonder where I could locate coffee at two in the A.M. Outside my bedroom there were two guards standing in attention on either side of the door. They wore black armor...Luna's guards? What are Luna's guards doing outside my room!? "Um......hi." I say looking at them with a quizzical look. "Good morning, sir." One grunts as he continues to stare off into the wall on the other side of the hallway. "Ummmm whatcha doin'?" I ask wondering why there are guards positioned out side my room. "Following an order by Princess Luna, sir!" The other grunts. I sigh and decide I haven't been up long enough to really care just yet. My brain was still functioning at it's lowest efficiency without the fuel it so desperately craved. Hint: it rhymes with Toffee! "Fine." I say with another sigh following shortly after. "Just direct me to some coffee." One of them cracks a smile. The other gives him a sharp look, giving a signal for the smiling one to regain his composure and quickly. However the damage was done, to another mind the guard that smiled would appear to be an amateur. With me, though, I understood, sometimes you can't help but smile at somethings. It's only Equestrian to do so. I decide a polite but firm inquiry will suffice. I was considering the commonly used phrase "Something funny?" then as my vocal chords began to generate sound I switched to "Just direct me to the coffee." "Princess Luna does not require sleep but drinks coffee to keep her nerves and mind artificially sharp at night. She has a pot in her bedroom and one in her office. Knock on the office doors first and if you are left without an answer from within knock lightly on the bedroom door." The guard that smiled says. "Thank you." I say groggily walking towards the stairs as I finish pronouncing the 'you'. I quickly trotted up the stairs. I wanted to dash up there like a starving animal that has the scent of meat... but I hadn't had my coffee yet and required every ounce of strength just to make my way to the coffee. I know I've mentioned coffee a lot lately; but I'm like a zombie-pony. Cups of coffee are my "brainsss". Anyhow within a minute of walking away from the guards, I was standing in front of the double office doors. I was a tad nervous, I almost felt a slight fear for the doors since last time one of them slammed into my nose. I put a hoof to my bandage after a second of trying to sniff and failing, I knocked on the door. "Who's there?" The Princess calls from within. With the next words I took notice to just how nasally my voice still was if I spoke at a slightly elevated volume. "Star Dasher, ma'am." I call through the wooden doors, my voice cracking slightly from general anxiety. I lean back, then take a cautionary step back from the doors. The door opens quickly and Luna is standing just two meters from me. "Please don't call me 'ma'am.' Authority is over rated unless it's used in romance." I am puzzled by this. What does she mean? How is authority used in romance of any kind? "Ummmm what?" I ask forgetting my general anxiety for a second to ponder this statement. "The dominance and submissive sides in a relationship. When in the bedroom, authority can be made, temporarily, as once individual exerts dominance over the other in order to stimulate the both of them." Luna says nonchalantly. I make a confused face at her. "What?" She asks noticing my puzzled expression. "Why in the wide world of Equestria is the Princess of the night pondering stimulation through dominance?" I ask. "Why in the wide world of Equestria is said Princess's new assistant at her door at two in the morning?" Luna asks in retort. "Are you hear to discuss the psychological mechanics behind sexual stimulation or would you like to come in and talk about something else?" she asks jokingly. "I just want some coffee and one of the guards you posted outside my door said you have some." I state in a polite manner. "I also wouldn't mind some conversation, but umm please not on sexual stimulations or the mechanics behind them." I say with a light chuckle. Luna steps aside. "Come in. I have a fresh pot of coffee and I am currently in the process of mapping a nebula not far from Equestria." She says with a gentle smile. I walk into the office. There's a small balcony right across from the entrance door. A large mainly golden or brass telescope was mounted on the balcony. It wasn't just some little telescope on a tripod. No. This probably weighed nearly half ton and was brought in in many, many small pieces. There was a small canvas on one of those standing panting apparatuses. It had a colored sketch of a gas cloud. The gas cloud was currently half completed, but well done thus far. This must've been Luna's nebula. The balcony had small half walls on either side of the mounted telescope, they were a little wide. Just wide enough for a few cups of coffee, maybe a plate of food, to rest on it safely. There was some room between the stone half walls and the telescope. This is to allow movement by the telescope, not just vertically but horizontally as well. I spotted a pot of coffee to the right of the telescope and a coffee cup within a few inches. Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
5. Game.I suppose once you're past the fact that she's a princes, Luna is quite a pleasant pony. Sadly I'm a wreck when it comes to getting past these outer layers. Throughout the entire time I was there I simply sipped coffee and avoided eye contact with the Princess. Now that I was fully awake my mind has gone into full blown introvert mode. I sort of receded into myself emotionally, using as many one or two word answers as possible. I reverted to using "Yes." and "Uh huh" and of course "I understand". She quickly took notice to this and spoke up. "You come all this way to just to get coffee and then turn into a hermit crab?" She asks. I'm unsure if she's joking or annoyed. "I....ummmm......well a coffee is good. I....think....less when I'm tired. The more I think the shyer I get, it's just a kinda quirk." I say as I look at a drawing of the gas cloud. It's quite pretty, even if it is just a scientific chart design. "That's a very cute perk. You must be the master of playing hard-to-get." She jokes as I set the chart down on the half wall. I move a coffee mug closer to my lips and down the last of my third full cup. "I suppose that's umm one way of putting it." I squeak out avoiding eye contact with the princess. She takes a second of silence to think quickly. Luna gets an odd look about her when she thinks deeply. She usually looks to the ceiling or sky at an angle, then raises a hoof to her chin or lips. An eyebrow could also raise while the other lowers, she sometimes hums a kind of tune while she does so. "How about we play a quick game?" I raise an eye brow, then mumble out a response. "What kind of 'game'?" I ask. "The kind that allows you to find out a little more about the other individual. Here's how it works, I pick a topic, you tell me something relevant that involves that topic and yourself. Like if I say 'color' you could tell me your favorite color and why you like it." Luna explains with a comforting smile to me. "Then you pick a top and I answer you in the same fashion." "Oh, okay." I say with a slight smile. "That sounds uhh fun. Go ahead..I suppose." I say with a curving smile. " 'Romance'. " Luna says grinning at me. Unexpected. "Ummmm well.....my first mare friend was at about age ten. She was very....out going and took great joy in making me.....uncomfortable at every possible moment. She gave me my first kiss and was the first mare who ever met my parents under the designation of 'Star's marefriend'." I say with a blushing feeling soaring throughout my face. Luna sits attentively as she listens to me, her eyes barely dwell from mine as I speak. "Good. Now you pick a topic for me." Luna says with a wave of her hoof. I grin lightly then give her the topic on my mind. " 'Me.' " I say. "You're fascinating." Luna says. "I find you cute, physically appealing, and of course interesting. I'm a fan of puzzles and challenges; to me, you're both of those things. I'd feel a sense of success to be your friend; to have any sort of connection to you beyond that of an employer, really." As she speaks, I nod my head a bit. I try to not make eye contact, but can't help myself at some points. She'd catch me looking at her eyes and her smile would increase a little bit. Then I'd shy my eyes away from hers and her smile would dampen, but not fade fully. "Okay, now I guess you give me a topic now." I suggest with a grin as I wait patiently. She repeats my own topic. " 'Me' " She says with a smirk of her own. I put up one hoof, telling her to give me a minute. I think of exactly what I want to say to her. Once I have the idea in mind I began to form the words. "Higher authority usually makes me nervous, when I accepted this job I realized that I'd be nervous...a lot. Working this closely to a princess would be....interesting." "Hmmm." She hums as I finish my statement. "So ummm what's you're next topic, ma'am?" I ask politely. I'm beginning to somewhat enjoy this game. "Hmmmm...give me one minute." She says going into her thinking pose once again. I grin at her slightly-funny pose and think about what I look like when I think deeply. I always picture myself seeming somewhat deep while I think, but then again I'm not the one looking at me while I think. "How about....'Arts' any art form you practice." "I'm not bad with clay. I made a four foot alicorn once when I was like fifth teen or so. I think my parent's still have it." I say remembering the old thing. I used a few pictures and portraits to make it. All of them were of Celestia but I modified the physical attributes enough to make it look nothing like her, although the basic physiology is there. When 'Princess Twilight Sparkle' was announced, my parents said my old sculpture looked just like her. I was at the ceremony and took notice of this days before their letter arrived though. I remember laughing my booty off at the ceremony.
