Start of an Awesome Day

“Ugh, where the hell is it? I know it’s here somewhere. You can’t hide from me!” This angry shout came from the frantically-searching pegasus commonly known around these parts as Rainbow Dash. She zoomed around various areas of her cloud mansion, trying to look for whatever it was that had caught her fancy.

“Tank, have you seen my Nintencolt 64 at all? I could have sworn that I left it under my bed in a box.”

There was no answer from the turtle.

“Hey buddy, it is called a tortoise. Turtles and tortoises are two very different animals,” Dash yelled to the silence, as if expecting an answer. “Don’t you ignore me, pal. I am tired of correcting ponies on the tortoise problem.”

Dash, you're not supposed to interact with the narrator! In fact, not a lot of ponies have ever interacted with me before, except the pink one. She talks to me a lot.

“You mean Pinkie Pie?”

Yeah, that’s the one. She always seems to hear my voice calling to her. I am able to tell her my various secrets.

“That explains a lot, actually. So if that’s true, then why can I hear you?

Glitch in the system.

“That’s a lame answer. Can you do better than that?”

I really can’t interact with you much, unless under extremely dire circumstances. You’re supposed to be searching for your N64, not listening to a random voice narrating most of your day. Plus, some fans don’t technically like when a wall is broken.

“I have fans?! How awesome is that? Where are these so-called fans, and can I show off some of my moves for them?”

I can’t say much more than that. It would break reality as we know it. If I were to tell you about the show.... Damn, I shouldn’t have said that.

“Whoa! Hang on there, buster. What do you mean a ‘show’?”

Not talking.

“You can’t just spill the beans about some show and leave me hanging like that! What show? Is it popular? Am I on the show? Am I popular?”

That’s enough, Dash! You shouldn’t have been able to hear me. I don’t know why you can. I wasted a good deal of the story already talking to you. I have to just do my job and narrate your day. Just try to ignore it. A lot of the other ponies are able to do so.

“Can you tell me who else has heard you at least before I start looking?”

I don’t see the harm in that. Let’s see here. A musically gifted unicorn, a small unicorn filly, a pegasus filly, and a chaotic being have all heard my voice. Now, go search for your video game device.

Dash sighed as the conversation ended there. It had mentioned a show. Dash had never heard of a show that involved her. Maybe, now that she thought about it, she figured it was a good idea that she didn’t know what it meant by that.

“If I was a video game entertainment system, where would I hide?” As Dash wondered aloud, she looked around her cloud mansion. Dirt-encrusted dishes, rags, and food stains littered the ground and walls around her like a battlefield.

“Celestia! I have to clean this place up once in awhile. Okay, let’s see here.” As Dash contemplated where she had left her dusty N64, she saw a mysterious green light float in the air around her.

“Woah!” she cried as she fell over backward, startled. “Where the hay did that come from?”

The light didn’t answer, but it floated around for a few moments as Dash followed it with her eyes. There was a white aura deep in the green light that seemed sinister. It floated playfully around her, and occasionally would dart over to her and weave away.

Not knowing what else to do, Dash decided to follow it.

“After all, if there is one thing I know about creepy lights, it is to follow them and hope they don’t lead me astray,” Dash explained to nopony in particular, her logic flawless only to herself.

The light drifted her towards her clothes closet. She only dare wear those nasty dresses on occasions where she couldn't get out of a dress code. She didn’t even know why ponies wore clothing in the first place. Dash approached the closet with the speed one would expect from a pony with “dash” in her name.

“Alright, I’m here, light! What am I supposed to now?”

Again, the light continued to ignore her rudely. However, it danced and sparkled near the double doors of the closet, as if telling her to look inside.

“Why would I put my beloved video games in here of all places?”

Since the light wouldn’t answer her willingly, she had to find out on her own.

She thrust open the doors and stared around at the inside, hoping nothing would jump out at her. Dash wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to anything foolish enough to surprise her when she wasn’t paying attention.

Dash coughed a little at the dust hanging idly around the closet. It had been a while since she had cleaned this portion of the closet. Various items stared back at her, upset that she had disturbed the silence around them.

Pictures of Spitfire in a variety of different poses littered the floor. Dash adored Spitfire and made sure that her target didn’t catch sight of her when she hid in those conveniently-placed bushes. Spitfire taking a shower. Spitfire flying with Soarin, Spitfire stretching, and Spitfire alone on her bed, relaxing after a hard day’s work, were the majority of what Dash had captured on film.

She really didn’t want her idol to know her creepy past-time of taking photos to help her on those lonely nights. She needed to be on the Wonderbolts one day and she wouldn’t get that accomplished if her obsession became known.

Dash smiled in fond recollection as she looked at her “Spitfire Collection” and tried to move on to the next few items in her closet. Several Daring Do books littered the floor. She made a mental note to beg... er, ask Twilight nicely for the next book in the series. Daring Do was her high, and she craved the adventurer’s novels like a druggie for their fix.

Some pictures of Fluttershy and her from their filly days littered the ground. “Hey, how the hell did these get in the closet?” She reached in and grabbed them, jotting down a mental note to stash them away somewhere more suitable, so they wouldn’t get ruined.

Pictures of Soarin in a variety of different poses and locations surfaced from the depths of the unknown that was her closet. She finally managed to pinpoint what the mysterious light was trying to share with her.

A box simply titled “Important Stuff!” stared back at her with a solemn air that one would expect from a box. She squealed loudly as she realized that she had found what she had been looking for. Happily, she came out of the closet with the box on her back--something that was easy for a pegasus pony like her to do. She had to wobble a little when the box tilted dangerously, but otherwise, she successfully managed to steer herself toward her cloud bed so she could set her cargo down.

“I haven’t been in that closet for a long time! I really need to clean it one of these days. Scootaloo comes up here to hang out sometimes, and I need to remove those pictures before she gets her hooves on them…”

Silence greeted her words. Then, she realized what she had been doing. “Wait, who am I talking to? I never talk to myself on a normal day.”

Shrugging off her confusion over that particular mystery, Dash continued the process of admiring her box. It was a very nice box, she thought, one that had reliably held all her treasures for a long time.

Finally deciding to admire the contents of said box, she opened the top flaps. Dust exploded out from deep within, making the speedster pegasus explode into a fit of coughing and one timid sneeze.

“Wow! How long has it been since I’ve opened this box?!” Nopony answered the pegasus. She really wasn’t expecting anypony to, either. Catching her breath, she got a chance to look deeper in the box.

A Wonderbolts-centered Playcolt filled with pictures of Spitfire was the first thing that caught her eye.

“I had been looking for this for ages! I thought I lost it seven years ago, but it turns out it was in my box the whole time! Let’s see what else we have here.”

Finally, after she unearthed a Game Colt Advance and Nintencolt DS, she stumbled upon her Nintencolt 64 and several games. The ones she immediately zeroed in on were Conker’s Bad Fur Day, Banjo Kazooie, Banjo Tooie, Super Smash Ponies 64, Majora’s Mask, and Ocarina of Time.

“Wow, I can’t believe I still own this game! It was my first ever M game! The violence, the humor, the witty banter, everything combined made this one of the greatest games of all time! It is almost as cool as I am.” She paused in her worship of Conker’s Bad Fur Day.

“Oh my gosh, my friends haven’t played this game yet.” Dash paused, allowing her thoughts to settle on that for a bit. “I don’t even think they played the older systems yet. I can’t let this happen! If it weren’t for games like these, we wouldn’t have the newer ones.” She nodded at her logic.

“I have to get everypony I know involved in this game. I simply can’t allow my friends to go their whole lives not knowing of the awesome power of classic gaming!”

As she continued to spout phrase for one of her all-time favorite games, she stared at the cartridge of said favorite. She had gotten it almost exactly when it had been released almost an eternity ago.

“Conker’s Bad Fur Day” was written on a sticker behind a black background. A bold “M for Mature” was written in the lower left-hoof side of the game. “Equestrian Edition” was written in small font under the title, with the name of the development company in the upper left.

“Yeah, this game pretty much should be on everypony’s game list at some point. I’ve said too much already, though. Anything more, and it kinda starts to suck the fun out of the game.”

It was then that Scootaloo popped into Dash’s mind. Dash realized what her subconscious was trying to tell her.

“Scootaloo has been going most of her young life without playing this game! I have to tell her about it! I played it when I was thirteen, just a couple years older than she is now.”

Before Dash’s line of thought could continue in that direction, a voice was heard.

“Dash, you know better than to share an explicit game with a foal.” That voice sounded a bit like Fluttershy.

“Fluttershy!? What the hay are you doing up here?”

“Oh, I am not really Fluttershy. I am just an audible manifestation of your best friend. You can’t share that game with a foal. It is rated M.”

Dash still couldn’t figure out where her friend’s voice was coming from. She looked around frantically, searching for the source of the voice.

“It isn’t that bad, Flutters! There is barely anything wrong with it!”

Where by all that was right in the world was that voice coming from?

“You know better, Dash. That game contains toilet humor and bad language that can corrupt an impressionable youngster.”

“So? What’s wrong with toilet humor? The language is censored so foals can’t understand the language. Where are you, Flutters? I don’t like talking to voices that I can’t see.”

Dash struggled for a few minutes to place the voice before she felt a gentle prodding next to her neck. She looked down and saw a miniature Fluttershy on her shoulder, a small halo hovering gently over her head.

“I told you, Dash. I am not Fluttershy. You should recognize your conscience, after all. I try to keep you on the right track.”

“What is a consewhatits? Stop using words I don’t understand.” Dash couldn’t help but awe at how adorable Fluttershy looked with a halo.

“Just call me your good side. That game, like I said before, is way too violent for a young filly to understand. It’ll make her upset and cause her to spend most of her nights huddled in a corner.”

“Don’t listen to that meanie pants, Dashie! You know as much as I do that the Squirt can take care of herself.” The new voice’s loudness pierced the relative quiet of the room, causing Dash to jump.

She looked around, trying to place the second intruder to her home. A poke near her neck caused the pegasus to get the second shock of the day. A horned Pinkie Pie was lounging on a cloud hammock with a little pitchfork held in one of her hooves.

“Why is Pinkie Pie lounging on a cloud hammock? I don’t consider Pinkie a devil!” Dash couldn’t possibly understand why her mind tried to tarnish Pinkie’s goodness.

“You know better than anypony that I am only trying to look out for you, Dashie. I told you being a hero is awesome, and I even allowed you to admit reading was okie dokie, despite not actually winning that argument. All I am saying is that it is up to Scootaloo herself whether or not something awesome like Conker will agree with her. The game is rated mature, but she is completely awesome enough to understand that the game isn’t real.”

Dash was confused. In all those other conversations with herself, she never saw Pinkie as her “bad side”. She always knew the proper path and didn’t care what nopony thought.

“What happened to the other guy who plays my inner devil?” Dash asked the Pinkie avatar.

The avatar shrugged simply. “I was told it would be funnier if I took Pinkie’s form rather than your own form. I only do what my boss tells me. I don’t make the rules, just follow them. I don’t even get paid that much, to be honest.”

Dash shrugged. “Whatever. I saw this done in the movies many times. Each of you try to convince me why I should or shouldn’t share this awesome game with my number-one fan. The one with the most points gets the final decision. Does that sound fair to everypony?”

The parts of Dash’s conscience nodded in agreement.

“Wait a minute. We should make this interesting,” Pinkie’s form said. When the others turned to her in confusion, she elaborated on her point. “The two of us should get little podium things where we can make our points.”

Fluttershy’s form thought about it for a moment, then nodded in agreement. “I guess that sounds fair. I have to admit, I always wanted a podium. They did it in Jeopardy, and we can also do it over our fight for Dashie’s soul.”

Instantly, smoke covered Dash’s eyes, blinding her. Stumbling blindly in confusion, Dash continued to panic, but eventually, the smoke cleared, and she found herself standing in front of podiums. Fluttershy’s and Pinkie’s avatar stood in front of their respective podiums.

For some reason, Dash had a suit on and was holding notecards. This day had started off so normal, and now it just turned into weird territory.

“Say something, Dashie! You are starting to make things awkward,” Pinkie whispered.

Deciding that she better listen to Pinkie, she opened her mouth and hoped she wouldn’t choke on her words.

“Okay, uh, we are here I suppose to determine if I should invite Scootaloo to play this really awesome game from my childhood.” As Dash spoke, she regained her usual confidence. The words flowed smoothly like water from her mouth. She could do this!

“One side seems to think that Scootaloo is a minor that can’t play mature video games.”

Boos and cheers made themselves clear in the silence, causing Dash to jump a little.

“While the other side seems to think that Scootaloo can handle herself and clearly handle the amount of adult content seen in a game like Conker’s Bad Fur Day. Let’s begin the debates everypony!”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

3 Hours Later

Dash’s eye twitched as the debates wore on, showing no sign of stopping. Fluttershy was glaring at the Pinkie Pie avatar, all signs of affection gone. “You can’t just stand there with your smug grin and your good looks and say that minors should play games that are not designed for them! The rating is there to clearly say, ‘this game isn’t suitable for foals’! The game is extremely violent!”

Before Fluttershy could even finish arguing her point, Dash, who had been getting bored with this debate, decided to interrupt it before she collapsed from exhaustion.

“Enough is enough! I have been here for three hours listening to you two argue back and forth non-stop.”

“But, Dash!”

“No! You don’t interrupt me when I am being fed up here! I say both of you have your good points. Fluttershy, or vision representing Fluttershy, you had some really good points. I would say that some would agree with you.”

Fluttershy’s angry look turned smug as she turned to Pinkie. “Tough break there Pinkie, I guess you owe me that s...”

“However...” Dash cut off Fluttershy’s victory speech. “Pinkie had some really good points as well. I trust Scootaloo, and I know she won’t let me down. You both had some really good points, but I can’t reasonably pick one of you over the other. So I declare it a tie.”

Silence settled between the three of them. Dash had no idea where she was, but wherever they were, it was eerily silent.

“Can that happen?” Pinkie asked, turning to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy looked uncertain. “Such a thing hasn’t happened before. I can’t really tell what we should do over this.”

“Hey, this is my life we are talking about here! We should listen to me! I can’t really decide who is right and who is wrong when you both provided good suggestions. We already wasted enough story time as it is. We might have already lost some of our audience to boredom as they slowly realized that absolutely nothing happened in this chapter.”

Fluttershy and Pinkie turned to look at one another, deciding on what to do. Then, turning to Dash, decided to give their two bits.

“Fine. Such a thing like this almost never happens. Just take care of yourself, Dashie,” Pinkie’s avatar said worriedly.

“I always take care of myself. I just want to share this game with my friends. Absolutely nothing bad will happen when it comes to underage gamers.”

“You know that is a lie, Dash. Any time those words are mentioned, something almost always goes wrong! Just, whatever happens, make sure you follow through with what you feel is the best solution.” The avatar for Fluttershy comforted Dash with her words of wisdom.

Pinkie scoffed. “You use way too many big words. You should probably not read so much! I can barely understand all that!”

Dash would never figure out Fluttershy’s reaction since the podiums, the immediate surroundings, and the two elements of her consciousness all vanished, leaving Dash back in her cloud home wondering what the hell just happened.

“Boy, I never knew I had such crazy stuff in my head! I should probably stop hanging around Twilight so much. Now, where is that box?”

Taking a moment to search, she found the box filled with her beloved video games. It was difficult to get a good grip on the box, but somepony as awesome as her could always figure this kind of thing out.

She trotted carefully to her front door and made sure to say goodbye to her beloved tortoise, Tank, before she allowed herself to track down all her friends.This was going to be the greatest day ever, and it was only just beginning!