~A Lyracal Discussion: Crazy Pony Meets Crazy Human~
Author's Note
So yeah, spoiler notation here for those that look at these things: while this event is mentioned by Lyra in 8th Harvest, she does mention a BIG EVENT that happens in 9th Harvest. However, if you read to the end of 8th Harvest, I'm certain most people are smart enough to know what will happen in the 9th one so I guess in a long about way I'm saying if ya don't want spoilage to occur, read this after the 8th Harvest.
...I really shouldn't upload at 1 in the morning. XD
~A Lyracal Discussion: Crazy Pony Meets Crazy Human~
"Really, that's the best you could come up with Rysy-Wysy?"
"Hey, don't look at me Pinks! Lyra wanted to come up with the title and that's what she put together that had a pun."
"...what? Is it not good enough?"
"I don't see a problem with it Lyra but Pinks is taking exception to yer pun levels."
"...but...but humans are crazy! Just look at the antics you've gotten up to! Well, except that whole fight sequence throw down you're about to, oh wait no. That you already had with the weird mis-matched reality breaking dude."
"Wait...how do you...how did?"
"I've been watching and learning how to do that weird thing you and Pinkie Pie seem capable of...that and this story wasn't posted before that specific chapter so..."
"...Lyra, one does not just simply break the fourth wall; it's a talent reserved for those that know what they're doing."
"Rysy-wysy is right! If you don't know what you're doing you could totally destroy all of reality...like he did in that one story."
"...what?"
"I'm afraid it's true Lyra, another me did end up having the fourth wall shatter and all reality torn asunder into blinding white nothing so....yeah, bad things can happen."
"...that's slightly terrifying...so how do I avoid that?"
"You leave it to the professionals like me!"
"Right Pinks....and this, mares and gentlecolts, is what we call the birth of a running gag! Enjoy the story!"
"Okay Apps, I'll see ya later!" Ryan shouted, pulling on his hat and running out the door.
"Alrighty Ry-Ry! I'll come meet ya later this afternoon like we promised."
"Sounds good! Bye!"
Keeping a decent pace, Ryan was running just a bit behind for his meeting with a certain pony that was more aware of humans than she should have been; as it was he wasn't sure just what she was going to want to ask about...and whether she'd get out of hand.
Still, he was curious about just how she knew what a human was and that small fact was why he was meeting at her house to satisfy her curiosity.
"Well, how bad could it be?" Ryan mused to himself before knocking on the door of what he hoped was her house, "This seems to be the right address..."
Not hearing a response, he gave a slight knock on the door again before hearing a loud banging sound and the finally a light-cream colored pony opened the door with a sigh.
"...oh thank goodness you're finally here."
"...Bon-Bon was it? Is...is this a bad time? If it is I can just re-schedule with Lyra later and..."
"No! Get yer tall butt in here!" Bon-Bon shouted, all but shoving Ryan into the house, "She's been insane since she woke up, going on about how excited she is to finally get to talk with you. So please...calm her down!"
"Heh, you have mah word m'lady. I will do what I can to relax Lyra and her hysterical state."
With that Ryan went in the direction she pointed him and soon came upon Lyra pacing slightly in a decently sized room filled with books; clearing his throat he watched her turn around quickly and practically squee when she saw him.
"Ryan!" Lyra shouted, glomping him and knocking him to the ground, "You're here!"
"...I often wonder why it is the ground and I always get so intimately involved ever since I found mah way to Equestria."
"...what? Oh! I'm sorry; I did that thing again where I get a little crazy and..." She paused when she heard a slight rumbling noise, "...was...was that your stomach?"
"...erm, yeah. See, I was running late...and didn't get any breakfast." He explained, taking the calm moment to remove her from his person and stand back up, "Apps has a way of making a fellow want to...continue cuddling with her."
"Awwww, you're so sweet on her." Lyra teased, watching Ryan's flustered reaction, "Haha, anyway if you'd like we've got some fresh muffins Bon-Bon just baked."
"Sure, sure; that sounds good." Ryan replied before watching her run off, "Heh, she's getting better at the two-legged thing. Hmm..."
Passing the few moments while waiting for Lyra to return, he perused the books she had apparently set out and was slightly intrigued by them: they were quite aged and worn but from what he could see they all contained information on humans...or at least the Equestrian equivalent anyway. His curiosity getting the better of him, he picked up one and thumbed through it.
"Alternate realities are curious in how similar they can end up being." He mused, flipping along a bit, "A decent portion of this information seems to match up with what Celestia told me..."
"Getting to it already? Haha, that's cheating."
Ryan spun around to see a giggling Lyra bringing in what appeared to be the largest blueberry muffins he'd ever seen; taking one when offered he nodded.
"Well this at least explains how ya know about them...but these books appear to be ancient; where are they from?"
Sitting down across from him, Lyra gave a small smile before explaining.
"They were my great-great-great-great grandfather's; as far as I know they're the only surviving tomes that detail the humans that lived here in Equestria. I was just a young filly when I first stumbled upon these while visiting my grandfather one day; at first he seemed upset but when I seemed truly interested in humans he started telling me stories about them, reading to me from these books."
"I see then...do you know where your grandfather got them from?"
"...that I could never get from him; even when I was older he wouldn't divulge that secret of how our family came to possess them. Of course, with him gone I'll probably never know so."
"I'm sorry."
"Heh, naw, it's okay; my father either doesn't know or won't tell me either so I may never know. All I know is that I've always dreamed about them since then...what they were like...how they lived...the things they did..."
"Hands?"
"Haha, yes, those too; I spent so many nights thinking on those intriguing creatures but knew I would most likely never get to meet one."
Ryan smirked at bit when she smiled at him, "Ah yes...and then I stepped into the picture....or more like just poofed ta be honest."
"Pretty much..." Lyra started, before staring as Ryan tore a piece off his muffin and ate it, "Fingers...."
"Haha, that again?" Ryan laughed, wiggling them and watching her eyes light up, "...yer not gonna knock me unconscious, tie me up, and then do something diabolical like take mah hands are ya?"
"...n...nooooo." Lyra replied, looking left and right shiftily before laughing loudly, "Oh man, I can't believe you thought I'd do something so crazy!"
"Hahaha, yeah..."
"Seriously though, I might be human-crazed but I'm not insane; I'm not going to harm a friend for selfish reasons. Though...do something else with them!"
"...hmmmm...." Ryan drummed his fingers on the table, "What to do? I mean...most of what I do y'all do here too so it's not like there's much that's uniquely human....huh?"
He had to snicker when he noticed Lyra following his drumming fingers with rapt attention; raising up his index finger it also amused him that she was following it around.
Wondering just how "entranced" by it she was, he rotated it in a circle before motioning for her to come closer; when she was in reach he gave small chuckle.
"I do believe you'll enjoy this aspect of me having fingers...all mah friends do...and I know Apps totally does."
With that he reached forth and started caressing and scratching her mane, laughing as she gave out the pony equivalent of a purr and practically melted under his touch.
"...oh man...AppleJack is so lucky to be your marefriend." Lyra sighed, pouting when Ryan finished his scratching, "Awww....let's see...what else?"
"Hmmm...." Ryan had picked up a second book and was thumbing through it, "Interesting...not all humans here were actually able to use magic of their own accord; some new it inherently but others were taught how to. Darkness seemed to take to it pretty easy, judging by all I read and who his teacher was; I wonder then if he was inherently gifted then? I suppose that would help explain how I've taken to magic pretty well despite coming from a world lacking it. However, it's a bit sad to see those that could were often ostracized by the ones that couldn't...hmmm...why doesn't that surprise me?"
Lyra watched as he easily flipped through the pages, holding a few pages between each finger as he looked over the information and made remarks here and there.
"Lucky...."
"Haha, who knows Lyra? Maybe I'll find some kind of spell to let you temporarily be a human or something." Ryan laughed, lightly booping her on the nose. "By the way, that reminds me of all those books back at the castle...I'll have to give those a read someday when I get some free time. I bet Luna would love to show me around."
"...books? Castle? The Princess?"
"Hmmm? Oh yeah, these books of yours are quite a rarity; I dare say they are the only ones of its kind in public hands but...well, I don't see any harm in sharing this fact with you. There is a secret library with all the knowledge and events from when humans still existed in Equestria." Ryan explained, "I haven't had the chance to ask if I could read them but maybe if I ever get the ability to I'll bring ya along; wouldn't hurt to have another human expert besides mahself after all."
Lyra just sat there, unblinking for a few moments and Ryan began to worry about her; just as he was about to go get Bon-Bon for some help she finally moved and jumped around the room clapping her hooves together all the while chanting, "Goody, goody, goody!"
"....well, I guess that would make you excited." Ryan nervously laughed, "So are ya just obsessed with mah hands or did you have any other questions from the source?"
"Oh oh! Yeah! Let's see...."
And so the next two hours passed by, Ryan explaining some things to Lyra that she found amusing, troublesome, curious, and even slightly unnerving.
"So they did eat meat...that's a bit...hmm...I'm not sure how to feel on that."
"Well, it unhinges mah mind a little too being here since hot dogs exist...and ham...I haven't seen hamburgers or anything beef based but that's probably because the cows here talk so...I'd feel kind of guilty doing that. I've noticed chickens don't seem to be on the menu either, though eggs are fair game. In all honesty, the change in diet really hasn't been too hard; I mean, it's not like all a human eats is meat after all. We're quite adaptable."
"...I know that these books detail this world a thousand years ago; there is some history that says more ponies use to be...what's that big word?"
"Omnivorous?"
"Right! That one Ryan! From what I know of Equestrian history over time other animals evolved to be more like ponies and so when they became more intelligent diets slowly changed; obviously, as you've noted, some animals still aren't there but...."
"Yeah, it gets a little mind-messy so I don't try to think on it too hard. I've got to say though, when Pinks shows up with those hot dogs they are just...the best. I know she hinted at her source, but I wonder if she wasn't just messing with me? Anyway, is there anything else you want to do? We've got about an hour left before Apps shows up and I have to take care of some things with her."
"Only an hour huh? Well...at least I've got some time with you left. Hmmm?" Lyra tapped her hoove, trying to think of what else she could ask, "...there are a lot of things I'd like to do...but seeing as you have a special somepony it just wouldn't be right to ask about some of them."
"Hahaha, Lyra you so crazy." Ryan teased before breaking into hearty laughter, "There's got to be something you want that's appropriate. This is supposed to be readable by all ages after all."
"...you did that weird thing again, where you talk like Pinkie does sometimes."
"Just one of my eccentric habits, nothing to worry yerself over."
"Ryan, when you say things like that, you make me look sane."
Ryan blinked for a moment before breaking into a huge grin and then laughing loudly again, Lyra joining in not too long after as the two shared a moment of silliness.
"...although, there is maybe one thing...it's kind of...well, it would make me get the human perspective on something, since it sounds a little curious..."
"Hmmm? What do you mean Lyra?"
"Well...." Lyra leaned in and whispered what she wanted to ask him, "....so?"
"...that's....well...hmmm...I...well I think it's feasible but...I mean...it is kind of..."
"I know it's odd but...please?" Lyra batted her eyes and smiled sweetly at Ryan, "Nopony has to know."
"Urk! The eyes....why must I be a male in a land that's predominantly female? It's not fair I tell you!!" Giving a sigh, Ryan nodded his head, "Very well...but if anypony finds out about this..."
"They won't! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Howdy Bon-Bon, ah know I'm a little early but I finished up mah errands quicker than I figured I would so I thought I'd just go ahead and stop by. Is that alright?"
"Oh sure, no problem AppleJack; Lyra and Ryan are in her little "human study" room as she calls it. Been there discussing who knows what for the last four hours...in fact, the only time anypony came out of there was to get some muffins. I haven't heard too much noise coming out of there so I can only assume Ryan's somehow keeping her enthusiasm and noise levels in check."
"Haha, that sounds like mah Apple Ryder; he's pretty good at keeping even the most hyper pony steady...well, most of the time anyway. He still has some problems keeping a calm state of mind around Pinkie Pie..."
"...he gets upset at her?"
"No Bon-Bon, his brain just breaks." AppleJack sighed before smirking, "He seems to be aware of a few of Pinkie's odd mannerisms, enough so to interact with them, but every so often a small part of it is beyond even his ability to understand so his brain kind of short-circuits for lack of a better word."
"Oh...but that's what happens to everypony though that interacts with Pinkie Pie."
"Not like this sugarcube; it's kind of weird but I think because he can understand better than us, when he doesn't it hits him harder. Last time he just zoned out for a few moments and only an apple brought him out of it."
"Hiya! Giddyup!"
AppleJack seemed a might confused as she looked at an equally puzzled Bon-Bon, "What in tarnation was that?"
"I don't know...that sounded like Lyra's voice. Why would she...."
Just then there was a bit of a loud thumping noise, followed by a crash and then some swearing; slightly startled by it the two of them ran towards the room Ryan and Lyra was in and kicked open the door....only to see a slightly confusing sight.
"Apple Ryder? What in tarnation is going on?"
"...I assure you, this is not what it appears to be. She wanted the human perspective on horse riding...but she won't get off!" Ryan grumbled, trying to shake Lyra off his back, "Come on dangit! Look, ya got me to cave enough to do this pony ride for a little bit but that was twenty minutes ago; using that magic of yers just ain't fair...especially knowing mine ain't all that powerful yet!"
"Lyra! You get off of mah boyfriend this instant!" AppleJack grumbled, marching over and roughly grabbing hold of her.
"Wait! I was having so much fun getting that experience in! I almost felt like I was a human!"
Ryan, meanwhile, was a bit worn out now after having Lyra on his back like that for so long and simply fell down on to the ground flat on his stomach; groaning quietly he let out a sigh and saw Bon-Bon near his side asking if he was alright.
"Y'all ponies aren't that heavy, but tarnation...a human back is not meant to hold that much weight for very long."
"Why did you agree then?"
"It's like I told Lyra, but I'll do so in pony terms this time." Ryan huffed, smirking at Bon-Bon, "When yer a stallion in a land full of mares, that also know you're weak against batted eyes and smiles, yer...yer gonna do things for them. Especially if'n they're your friends."
"Friends or not, y'all shouldn't be riding Ry-Ry like that." AppleJack huffed, shaking her head and glaring at Lyra, "He's yer friend...ya shouldn't be abusing trust like that."
"...I'm...I'm sorry AppleJack; I'm just...eager to see the human perspective on stuff and...I got carried away."
AppleJack rubbed her forehead before helping Ryan up into a standing position, "Look, it's alright...but we never mention any of this; if the others overhead you saying you were riding mah Apple Ryder, I don't think they'd take it the right way."
"Apps!" Ryan groaned before leaning on her, "Sheesh...and there go mah cheeks."
"Oh yeah! They are bright red! Cool! So that's what it looks like when humans blush." Lyra giggled before blinking at AppleJack's stare, "Right! Right! I promise this will never, ever be brought up again!"
"...Apps...can we...maybe...get some painkillers or something?" Ryan asked as she helped him walk along, his arm holding his back as the muscles burned and yelled at him, "Lyra...well, she's a little heavier than I thought."
"Hey!"
Ryan laughed softly, pausing to look over his shoulder at the frumpy looking Lyra standing in the doorway, "Haha, well, ahm sorry but that's the truth...I don't mean anything by it, other than I underestimated my body's durability."
"...Hmph, well, okay. You're lucky you're the only human here or I'd be griefing you even more mister."
"Hahahaha, duly noted; thanks again for the muffin Bon-Bon, it was amazing. Urk!"
"Okay there tough guy, let's get you some meds...and then maybe I can help with a little tender loving care?"
Ryan merely chuckled at such a suggestion and leaned down to kiss AppleJack, "I would never think to turn down some of that wonderful southern hospitality...especially not from mah sweet little Apps."
Fisticuffs Are Enchanting
"...well that's certainly a fancy way to say that."
'I think the play on that specific title is quite classy.'
"You would Darky-Warky! So this one's gonna be a bit longer isn't it?"
"Indeed Pinks...there will be much happening in this one."
"Ooooh, but...hmmm...my Pinkie sense isn't helping me note where this takes place."
'It might be because at the time this will be placed in, you were quite tipsy from having one too many shots.'
"Oh you don't have to be so kind Darky-Warks, I was pretty drunk! I was making Berry Punch look sober! But that stuff that Vinyl had them bring out tasted sooooooo sweet I couldn't help it. I'm just glad we weren't too heavy otherwise poor Rysy-Wysy would've had such a hard time carrying our soft, warm selves back to the hotel."
"Ahem! And with that mares and gents we begin with something that will get pretty ridiculous by the end! Fight on! For everlasting Friendship!"
Ryan was no means a drinker, in fact before ending up in Equestria he'd never touched the stuff, but he was quickly finding out the alcoholic beverages there were rather tempting; while Apple family cider he couldn't turn down for the fact that, well, it was his family, he quickly decided Spectrum was something he wouldn't touch again for a long time. As it was he opened his eyes to the following morning but felt some things were amiss: firstly, he had no hangover or headache, and secondly, he was not where he should've been.
"...this is not Cloudsdale." Ryan remarked, sitting up on the couch he had apparently been sleeping on, "In fact...this looks like the inside of Twilight's house."
True enough, walking out of the study and into the main building confirmed that he was indeed there...but nopony else seemed to be.
"Spike! Little buddy!" He called out, "T-Sparks!"
'Purple Horse!'
"Dark! Don't call her that...and she's lavender, not purple." He sighed, shaking his head, "The last time you called her that, she had Luna dive into our minds and..."
'Hey! I know! I know! Don't worry! I just wanted to make sure she wasn't hiding for some stupid reason.'
"Right...well...if they aren't here, maybe somepony outside has seen them."
Figuring that to be a good course of action, Ryan made sure he was ready in case something terrible had happened before slowly opening the door outside and noticing something amiss: the town, the sky, everything seemed normal save for the fact that nopony was around. Even though it was early morning from what he saw on his watch, there was no doubt in his mind that there should be somepony wandering about. The lack of noise this brought made him feel rather uneasy as he stepped fully into the street and looked about, "Where is everypony?"
'I've got a bad feeling about this Ry...'
"Me too partner...maybe if we-" He took a step forward only to jump back as the ground exploded in a bright lavender flash, "What in the name of Cellie?"
"I was wondering when you'd finally wake up."
Looking up, Ryan saw Twilight Sparkle of all ponies smirking at him; her horn was aglow with her aura and she had a spellbook floating next to her as well.
"T-Sparks! Look! If this is for that crack Dark made I..."
"Crack? What crack? And oh no, this is something much more exciting." Twilight licked her lips as she stared at Ryan, "I finally get to do something I've been dying to do for a long time with you mister human."
Ryan visibly gulped, knowing that look in her eyes too well, "Twilight...what is going through that cute little noggin of yers?"
"Of how much I'll learn by testing my skills against yours!"
Ryan jumped to the side, dodging another blast of hers as he stared flabbergasted, "T-Sparks?! You...you wanna spar with me?"
"Call it what you want, but yes! This whole situation makes it perfect and I'm so thrilled that I got to you first." She giggled, "That way I can get the best data possible from you while you're at your best."
Ryan blinked when he realized his hand was now resting on his wand and shook his head, "What situation?"
"Oh don't play coy, you know what situation! Now come at me! Show me what a human mage can do!"
"READY!? FIGHT!!!"
'What the hell was that?'
Ignoring Dark for now and realizing that he had only the one option, Ryan pulled out his wand and quickly tossed a shield spell up as a giant purple fireball collided with it. It dawned on him then that Twilight wasn't going to play around and so he realized he had to be serious.
"Very well then! I don't know what's going on but if I have to fight you to find out then let's go T-Sparks!" He smirked before charging at her, "I can't say I'm not curious about yer strength either."
Twilight grinned as she met him head on, their magic auras colliding in a fierce show of sparks and explosions. Rolling to the side she quickly threw up a shield of her own as Ryan unleashed a bright orange roar of fire at her. Waiting for her moment to counterattack, she saw the flame dissipate and so condensed her shield and flung it towards Ryan.
'Don't block it!'
Not questioning his other half's advice, Ryan quickly levitated a nearby stone and flung it at the condensed blast of magic; he shielded his eyes as it exploded violently, kicking up dust into the air. As it was he was caught unawares when he was hit in the gut and knocked to the ground, pinned by a pair of hooves.
"Come on! I know you're stronger than this! Stop holding back!" Twilight demanded, pushing into his ribcage harder, "Show me your power! Show me Malus Domestica!"
"Ack! Get off ya crazy mare!" Ryan shouted, punching Twilight in the gut and sending her flying off of him, "I don't know what's gotten into you but if you want to grab this bull by the horns"—he snapped his finger and donned his wings—"Y'all best be ready to hang on tight!"
"Ugh...you've gotten stronger physically, that's for sure; have to thank AJ for that one." Twilight smirked, wiping some dust from her face, "Now then!"
With that they clashed over and over, sending sparks of magic and debris flying every which way as they fought fiercely. After releasing a particularly large blast of magic Ryan was huffing while Twilight had a maniacal looking grin on her face.
"Most fascinating! Your magic is the strangest thing I've ever seen, and now that I've experienced it I'm even more curious."—she narrowed her eyes—"But you still haven't shown me that weapon of yours!"
"T-Sparks...this is a sword! Made of unknown metals! I would cleave you in two with it if I wasn't careful and since we're serious with this throw-down I am not going to risk endangering mah friend."
Twilight rolled her eyes, "Don't you remember anything?"
"...what?"
"Princess Celestia cast a magic spell over all the participants so that fatal injuries would not occur; unconsciousness will occur and is how a winner is determined but no major harm will come to anypony." She giggled before licking her lips, "Which means I can get all the data I want from you and not hold back...so you should do the same!"
"Yer mad honey...especially since I don't remember that." Despite that, Ryan was surprised to see his hand reaching for his sword, "I don't wish to harm ya Twilight."
"You won't! Now defend yourself or I'll be winning!"
With that Twilight seemed to power up the largest ball of energy he'd ever seen her muster, her eyes glowing an eerie light purple as she stared him down; realizing he had no choice he growled and unsheathed Malus Domestica.
"Propagate!" He shouted, splitting the sword into two and preparing himself for the attack, "Bring it!"
With that the large ball of energy flew towards Ryan and he had to blink at the sheer power it radiated; steeling himself he planted the two swords into the ground before channeling his magic and glaring at the incoming projectile, "Absorb!"
Twilight watched curiously as a web of sorts formed between the two swords Ryan had planted before shouting out this new ability name. As she watched, a large number of branches covered in apple blooms weaved into a net that stopped the attack. Upon further notice, though, she could see that the branches were actually absorbing the attack as the blooms blossomed and eventually became apples as the attack disappeared.
"Fascinating! I've always been curious as to the full extent of that weapon of yours after the Doctor modified it and I have to say that it's adaptability for a situation is incredible!" Twilight started trotting over before noticing that the apples had yet to disappear...in fact, they were glowing.
"You wanted to see it T-Sparks, but I can't afford to waste any more time here." Ryan grunted, holding his arm out towards her, "Swarm! Apple Death Blossom!"
"Wait, what?" Twilight gasped out before seeing the apples fly off of the branches and surround her on all sides, "...me and my scientific curiosity."
The apples soon closed him, pummeling poor Twilight on all sides until with one final strike a thunderous voice called out: "K.O.!"
Heaving a sigh, Ryan returned his sword before walking over to see an unconscious Twilight; quickly looking her over it seemed her words were true as, other than a few scrapes and bruises, she was otherwise fine. Kneeling down, he scooped her up and took her inside the library before setting her in her bed. Pausing, he kissed her forehead before smirking, "I hope I satisfied that curiosity of yers. Ugh, yer a hell of a fighter that's for sure."
Taking a moment to clean up and grab some water to drink, he stepped back outside to think of his next move before finally shrugging his shoulder and heading off in one direction. Eventually, he ended up outside of Fluttershy's cottage though for the life of him there's no way that should've happened.
"I have to wonder if this...contest, since T-Sparks mentioned participants, has anything to do with the town seeming mixed up?"
'That's a possibility...nice move there by the way; I see your practice is paying off.'
"Yeah...but if we're here then that would mean..."
"U-um...e-excuse me? R-Ryan?"
Turning he saw exactly who he thought he would, a nervous yellow Pegasus staring at him from behind. Noting he'd seen her she jumped a bit before timidly walking out.
"Hey Flutters...let me guess...you're mah next opponent?"
"Yes! I-I mean...if that's alright."
Ryan's heart ached seeing her so upset, "Honey, if you don't wanna fight me ya can just forfeit. I won't fight ya unless ya want me to."
"R-Really? Well I..." She didn't get far before a certain rabbit tugged her wings and then pointed angrily at Ryan, "Oh! W-Well...I suppose..."
'Oh yes...Angel.'
Ryan narrowed his eyes, more than familiar with the antagonistic rabbit companion of Fluttershy. In his opinion he was a troublesome little shit but he mostly ignored his antics for Flutters' sake.
"I'm really sorry...but Angel is right! I have to try! Yay!" Fluttershy remarked before striking what appeared to be a rather sloppy fighting stance.
"Very well." Ryan smirked, proud of Fluttershy for having the courage to try, "Come at me then Flutters."
Suffice to say, Fluttershy was not a fighter at all; Ryan had easily blocked most of her attacks and the only things that had gotten through were mostly distractions thrown by Angel. He had to admire her spirit though, seeing as she was still giving it her all.
"Oh! I can't stop but I'm not doing any good!"
Angel merely frowned and pointed at Ryan while tapping his foot; seeing she didn't get the point, he made a very scary face to which Fluttershy reacted oddly to.
"N-No! I promised everypony I'd never become that again!"
Ryan lowered his guard, curious as to what the hell Angel had told her. He watched her fight internally with herself for quite some time before she turned to him and narrowed her eyes.
'Oh, I do not like that!'
"Agreed!" Ryan gulped as Fluttershy seemed to be different now, there was a fire in her eyes he hadn't seen before, "Flutters?"
"Fluttershy isn't here...I'm New Fluttershy!"
"And that means....oh my Luna!" Ryan gasped, getting tackled by Fluttershy, "Holy crap!"
"I'm going to show you I'm no pushover!"
Rolling aside, he just barely missed getting stomped on as he flapped his wings and took to the skies, "Angel! What the hell did you do to her?"
The rabbit merely smirked and stuck out his tongue leaving Ryan just as confused as he dodged another tackle from Fluttershy; rotating in the air he could see she meant business.
From there on it was an interesting sequence of clashes as Ryan and Fluttershy dodged and dashed, parried and tackled...hand met hoof as what for all accounts almost looked as if they were dancing in the air. Eventually it was obvious that, though more aggressive, Fluttershy just did not have the stamina to match it as she began moving slower and slower.
'Okay, we should end this soon before she gets hurt.'
"Nopony is gonna get hurt but you!" Fluttershy growled, giving him the Stare.
"Ugh!" Ryan gasped, feeling himself falter in the air which left him wide open to be grabbed, "What?!"
"Time to buck you up mister!" Fluttershy growled, diving towards the ground and releasing Ryan who collided with it rather hard. Barely having a moment to recover, he felt her dash by and hit him; thanking his lucky stars she wasn't nearly as fast as Rainbow Dash he eventually managed to side-step her attack and deftly grab her by the wings.
"Nooooo!" She gasped while staring at his toothy grin.
"Oh yes! My greatest weapon: my fingers! It's Pony Tickle Time!" He shouted with glee, his fingers seeking out the sensitive spots of her wings and belly.
Fluttershy squealed loudly, giggling as she tried to break free but she had no luck; whatever burst of strength she'd gotten by changing was gone and she was back to being the adorable Fluttershy beloved by everypony.
Just as she felt as if she couldn't handle it anymore, she felt Ryan relinquish his hold while that same loud voice declared: "K.O.!"
Sure enough, she was out, his tickle torture too much for her to handle; hefting her up in his arms he took her inside her cottage and sat her on the couch before brushing aside her hair. Laughing at how adorable she was, he kissed her cheek before getting up...and promptly feeling a carrot hit him.
"Angel..." He growled softly, grabbing the bunny with his levitation spell and bringing him up to eye-level, "Now listen...I tolerate your antics because Flutters is mah friend...but don't think for a second your deeds won't have their proper punishment. I have to move on, so here's what gonna happen." He pointed to Flutters then back to Angel, "Yer gonna watch her, make sure she stays safe, and if after I sort this whole mess out she isn't..."
'There won't be a rabbit hole deep enough to hide in...got it?'
Angel gulped at the look in his eyes and quickly nodded his head. As soon as Ryan sat him down he hopped over to Fluttershy and took up a defensive position.
"Good boy." With that Ryan took back to the streets to see where he'd end up this time...
"Hmmm...Sugarcube Corner huh?" Ryan looked around, "Yeah, the town is totally screwed up right now. Weird."
'Hey so...if we're here, then doesn't that mean that...'
"Yeah, I figure she'll show up any minute...this fight is going to be tricky however."
'I have to agree.' Dark sighed, 'She's as crafty as we are and seems to have that additional knowledge of that which lies beyond to boot.'
"Well, maybe with any luck..." He paused, hearing a very familiar giggle, "Heh, well then, seems she won't be making us wait then."
Looking around for where she might be, Ryan eventually spotted her hanging from the top frame of the scene. Laughing at her antics he was rather pleased when she giggled as well before sliding down and landing with a bouncy hop.
"Alright! I get to face Rysy-Wysy next! This is going to be more fun than that food fight!"
"I doubt I can talk you out of fighting so let's skip that then." Ryan laughed softly before striking his ready stance, "Ya ready then Pinks?"
"Oh, wait! One second!" Pinkie seemed to be fiddling with something before pulling out what appeared to be a remote control, "Let me change the scenery first!"
Not sure what that meant, Ryan blinked as the background became static before flipping through many areas including one that made Dark blush and give pause.
'Ryan? Was that Woona? In the bath?'
"Uhm...it appeared to be...and she didn't look happy when she saw us." Ryan laughed loudly before the background stopped to show the interior of Sugarcube Corner, "Uhm, Pinks...couldn't we have just walked into the store?"
"That's boring! Why would you do that? Now let's go you two! I can't wait to party like this with you!" Pinkie grinned widely, pulling out her Party Cannon, "Pop goes the human!"
"Ack!" Ryan gasped, dodging a deadly blast of confetti, magic, and icing, "I was wondering how long it would take for ya to pull that thing out."
Seeing as that's how it was going to be, Ryan quickly weaved his magic and pulled out Sweet Revenge. Unfortunately Pinkie wasn't going to give him the time to get a proper aim in as she peppered the area with her Party Cannon which led to the floor being a bit slick to deal with. Knowing with such an enclosed arena he had to make use of all the space he waved his hands over his sneakers before skating up the walls and standing on the ceiling. Taking aim he pulled the trigger, "Yippie-ki-ay motherbucker!"
Pinkie saw the large blast of frosting and sprinkles charging for her and just stood there, a large grin on her face. Unsure as to why she hadn't attempted to dodge, his face paled as she opened her mouth wide and freaking ate the entire blast. While she avoided being hit by it all, this did have the side effect of turning her into a rather large, roly-poly version of herself. She looked up at Ryan and wobbled back and forth, "That was tasty! More! More!"
"Uh...I don't think so." He sighed, putting away the Tasty Cannon, "So we're at a bit of an impasse it seems, what with me up here and you down there. I reckon ya can't roll towards me because of that."
"Oh silly Rysy, you should know better than to count Pinkie out." Pinkie giggled, bouncing a bit before rolling, "Besides, don't you mean with me up here and you down there?"
'What in the heck is she...ack!'
Ryan screamed along with his counterpart as the whole room seemed to shift and he felt gravity do the same. Shaking his head he saw a giant pink blob with a smile in front of him...and he promptly realized that was Pinkie Pie, "Well...damn."
"Hee-hee! Here I come!" Pinkie grinned widely as she rolled forward, chasing after Ryan as they dashed along the ground, then up the walls, across the ceiling (which was now the floor), and then back again in an almost unending loop. Eventually, Ryan tripped after bumping into an overturned table and went skidding along the ground. Before he could make a move he felt a giant squishy mass settle over him, "...if I wasn't fighting for mah life, this would almost be pleasant. Like resting under a really soft, big, warm pillow..."
"Take this! Pinkie Pounce!"
Ryan grunted as Pinkie bounced over him over and over again, his body slowly getting beaten into the ground by her. Realizing he had only one possible (though highly illogical) shot at getting free he slowly reached for his sword and pulled it free before poking Pinkie with it. He heard her let out a little "owchie" before she began to "deflate" and fly about the room erratically giving him time to get to his feet and watch as she floated back to the ground before popping back into her normal, hyperactive self, "I'm not sure if that worked because of what T-Sparks said or because she's Pinkie, but at least it did."
"Ahhhhh...you took away my fun." Pinkie pouted, "Don't you wanna be mah friend and have fun?"
'Ryan...why...why does her hair look flat?'
Indeed, Pinkie's normally poofy mane was now straight and brushed flat-back; even her tail was the same and she had this slightly unnerving look in her eyes.
"Pinkie?" He asked, unsure as to whether he should walk over or not.
"You leave her alone!"
Ryan about jumped out of his jeans as a bucket of rocks came flying at him, "Did those...rocks talk?!"
'...don't be stupid, rocks don't talk!'
"Of course they do! We aren't stupid like you!"
Ryan threw up his hands as he was pelted with a multitude of...turnips? Sensing this was all part of something Pinkie was up to, he stared at her before deciding he had to get close and end it. Running headlong at her, he went back to finish the attack before noting she just vanished.
A soul-shivering giggle echoed off the walls of Sugarcube Corner as he looked around, trying to find any trace of her, "Pinks...? Where...where are you?"
"I'm right behind you, Rysy-Wysy!"
Ryan gasped as he felt and then saw two pink legs wrap around his mid-section and squeeze him tightly. Looking over his shoulder he could see a crazed look in his friend's eyes and he knew he was in it deep.
'...Now Pinkie...be reasonable.'
"HUGS! HUGS! HUGS! HUGS! HUGS! HUGS!" She shouted, maniacal grin on her face as she hugged Ryan's body tighter and tighter.
"Ugh! Ack!" He grunted in pain, "Must...find way...to stop...her....but...how?"
'Idea!'
"Then share dammit!" Ryan groaned, "How is a tiny pink horse so strong?!"
'Oh Pinks sweetie...if you let go we'll rub your belly for a whole afternoon and watch cartoons with you. How does that sound?'
"...hmmm?" Pinkie relaxed her grip just a little bit and that's all Ryan needed to slip free from her grasp, "Hey!"
"Sorry, but now it's time for me to have some fun!" Ryan followed this up by levitating her into the air and poofing her into a ball shape, "Now then."
Running over and grabbing her, he started to dribble her before noting her portable hole hanging on the wall—or was it the ceiling? At this point the whole room looked nothing like it should—and immediately knew what to do. Winding back he took a shot and smirked as she slid right in: "TWO POINTS! AND K.O!"
Hoping he hadn't overdone it, he quickly dove into the portable hole and saw Pinkie smiling happily while chilling out in the little pocket dimension, "Hey! Rysy-Wysy! That was awesome fun!"
"...I shouldn't be surprised you'd bounce back like that was nothing." He snickered before wandering over and sitting next to her, "We meant what was said though...ya know, what Dark told ya?"
"Oh I figured as much; hee, you aren't too hard to read with that honesty. Just like AppleJack!" Pinkie relaxed in his lap, grabbing his hand, "Just a taste for now? I know ya have to go take on the others and all that fun stuff."
"Ah don't know." He teased, his hand making contact as he began to gently caress her fur, "Maybe for a moment or two...any chocolate milk?"
"Of course!" Reaching an impossible length, she grabbed a mug of it from the refrigerator for him, "Mmmm....you're so good at this! Purr! Purr!"
Laughing quietly at her antics, he enjoyed a moment's rest after his third fight now and, as he idly caressed Pinkie, he had to wonder just how many more were left.
After bidding Pinkie farewell, and watching as she almost instantly returned Sugarcube Corner to its normal state, he took off north but once again found the layout of the town to be rather screwed up. He was now in the park where it seemed a large platform had been placed for...a concert from the look of things.
'You thinking what I'm thinking?'
"Yeah, I've got a feeling who our next opponent is."
Like clockwork, the giant speakers in the background began to blast out a pulse-pumping beat and down descended a white unicorn riding a pair of records. Hopping off them she dusted herself off before glancing over her shades and smirking, "Well well, looks I get to wub-a-wub-wub against you Ryan. I can't say I'm not excited we get to collaborate again."
"So then Vinyl, how are going to do this one?"
"While we do have to fight, it doesn't say exactly how we have to..." Vinyl pounded her hooves together and up rose two pairs of turntable decks on stage, "Let's see how you handle the decks...and then we can get to decking of a different kind."
'Are you sure about this? I'm pretty sure you've never played anything like that.'
"Not so fast Darky...I was a hell of a IIDX player in the past...and playing Beatmaneia here showed those skills haven't dropped." Ryan hopped up on stage and took his place next to Vinyl, "I'm more than eager to give this a go...sparring comes in all shapes and sizes after all."
With that a head-pounding beat began playing through the speakers as Vinyl started off: nothing too fancy, a simple pattern of scratching to get things going and to test Ryan's ability to keep up. Noting that's how things were going to be, Ryan took whatever knowledge he had from his gaming simulations and just went with what felt right. While there wasn't a crowd—as far as he knew—he still wanted to give his all so as to respect his opponent. Vinyl nodded her head as she scratched out her reply, "Not bad Ryan! And you learned this from a video game?"
"Yeah!" He vigorously scratched the turntable with his right hand, "In fact, the one here that I played had some of yer songs in it."
Rolling out a massive wub-wub drop, Vinyl smirked at how interesting things were getting; eventually the whole scene developed into a constant back and forth between the two of them as they scratched the songs up and down, back to back before they were flowing seamlessly into one another.
It was single-handedly one of the most awesome things to behold...and yet nopony was there besides them to listen to their magnificent beats; eventually, though, the pace became so frantic that Ryan was finally having a hard time keeping up. That didn't matter for long as at that point the decks, the speakers, and the sub-woofers burst into flames. Clearly, they were unable to handle the awesome wub-a-wub-wub being cranked out.
"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! That's crazy! Although..." She looked at the wrecked equipment, "My manager is going to have my flanks in a sling for this. Oh well, what can ya do?"
Sensing that round one of their little contest was over, Ryan hopped off of the stage and back on to the ground before striking a ready stance. Vinyl laughed and did the same, two LPs levitating behind her, "Alright! You passed the Music test! So now the real fun begins!"
"I have to say ahm quite curious what kind of fighting skills ya have Vinyl."—Ryan drew his sword—"Let's see what you've got!"
Vinyl wasted no time in showing him what she had, throwing her LPs at him before charging towards him. Ryan dodged one LP before blocking the other with his sword; unfortunately as it bounced off he felt it graze his cheek and yelped in pain. Reaching up he saw he was bleeding and made a note to avoid letting those LPs come anywhere close to him. Of course while he thought all this Vinyl connected with her run and knocked him backwards. Catching himself, he flipped back on to his feet only to see the discs coming at him once more.
"Propogate! Malus Domestica!" Ryan shouted, splitting his sword in two before planting one of them where he stood. Having done that, he formed the third component of Malus Domestica before knocking aside her discs and running towards her. Spinning, he landed a kick upside Vinyl's head and watched her sunglasses go flying off. She coughed before cracking her neck and smirking, "Not bad, not bad! I like your moves here too!"
"Heh, well what can I say? I'm always a fan of a good beat...especially when I'm the one making it." He grinned, motioning for her to come at him, "So pick up that beat yer droppin' and come at me bro!"
More than eager to give him what he wanted, she hopped up and began riding her LPs right towards him. Seeing this, he struck a defensive stance and waited for his moment to strike as she got closer...closer...closer....now! Catching her by surprise he leapt up, knocking her off the discs and then pinning them to the ground with the second component of Malus Domestica. Vinyl was dazed but quickly shook it off only to see she was now down a move. Thinking nothing of it she reached behind her back before pulling out...a dishwasher?
"What in tarnation are ya doing with that?"
Vinyl smirked and narrowed her eyes at him, "Let me show you!"
Letting out a gasp, Ryan felt his legs get yanked out from under him by Vinyl's magic before he was dragged and somehow shoved into the dishwasher, "You let me out of here now!"
"Sorry! I can't hear you!" Vinyl chuckled, turning the bass up to 11 before starting it, "With this I can beat you at a microscopic level!"
'Argh! The Wubs are too much!'
"Hang in there Dark!" Ryan grunted, trying to focus his magic, "...I won't...go down...like this!"
All was silent save for the Dubstep Dishwasher and for a moment it appeared as if Vinyl had won until there was a loud knocking noise, and then another, and another.
"....Meteor Explosion!" Ryan shouted, releasing a giant shockwave that blew apart the dishwasher but also knocked him back quite a bit. Still clutching his sword, he could see that while he had suffered some backlash from his attack, Vinyl was also injured as well.
"Haha, that was pretty awesome how you became your own lightshow! But it's time I end this..." She pulled out what appeared to be a giant speaker on wheels, "It's been fun, but this win is mine!"
'Is that.....?'
"It is...her Bass Cannon." Ryan grunted and coughed, "So you think you've won huh?"
She smirked, raising her hoof above the big red button atop the Bass Cannon, "Of course I do! Once this thing unleashes it's wubby-ness all over you it's my win!"
"If you think so." Ryan taunted, unable to get up off one knee, "Come on then!"
Watching her hoof come down on the button, Ryan quickly planted his sword in the ground before muttering three words Vinyl hadn't expected to hear: "Bloom! Arbor Pomifera!"
Hearing that she quickly glanced around and cursed her enthusiasm to finish it, having only now noticed the triangular formation of the swords around her. As the brilliant and shining walls of magic formed around her, the blast of her Bass Cannon reflected back before hitting another wall and so on and so forth until Vinyl was completely surrounded by her own attack.
"K.O.! WUBTALITY!"
Heaving a sigh, Ryan waved his hand and dropped the walls before summoning his sword back into one form; sheathing it he hobbled over to Vinyl and saw she was pretty beat up. Scooping her up he looked around for somewhere to place her that was soft and safe but he didn't have many options.
"Over here! I'll keep an eye on her."
Turning to this new voice, he saw none other than Octavia waving at him from the stage; cautious about her sudden appearance he slowly walked over before setting Vinyl down in front of her.
"Oh relax, I'm not here to fight you. If I did then who'd watch over the both of us?"
Ryan laughed softly, "I suppose yer right Tavi."
"...I told you not to call me that." Octavia sighed, shaking her head, "Either way I've got this so hurry on; I imagine this won't end till everypony that wants a piece of you gets it."
'That's what I'm afraid of.'
Laughing at Dark's downer of a statement, Ryan produced a pair of shades and put them on Vinyl. After thanking Octavia again—and kissing her hoof in appreciation—he headed off with a slight limp as he was still aching from getting washed with wubs.
Watching him run off, Octavia could only shake her head before looking down at Vinyl, "Heh, it's no wonder you two get along so well....oh sweet Celestia, it's almost as if there's two of you."
Feeling a bit better after using some magic to patch himself up, Ryan found himself in front of Rarity's Boutique...but there was nopony to be found outside. Seeing no other choice, he opened the door and walked in to see it was rather dark inside. His curiosity as to why disappeared quickly as he had to dodge a multitude of various needles, "Gah! I guess that's the point of knocking before opening huh?"
"Ugh! Darling! If we're going to do this dance properly, you simply must refrain from those awful puns of yours."
Out stepped Rarity looking very glamorous as always, a number of gemstones floating around her. With a flick of her magic, the lights in the boutique flickered on to give their fight the illumination it deserved.
"Come now Rares, ya know I can't do that." Ryan smirked, "Though...I am curious as to why a lady such as yerself wishes to fight me. It strikes me as odd."
"Oh come now you dear man, why would I not wish to take a chance to see how I stack up to such a delightful model of mine?"
'I suppose I've heard worse reasons to spar.'
"Oh ho! I'd almost forgotten I'd be going against Dark as well. This will be most amusing!" She smirked, before pointing her hoof at him, "Now don't hold back Ryan! While I know you would do such being such a gentlecolt, I can guarantee that if you do."
"Hmmm?"
"I. Will. Crush you...Darling! Now let us begin!"
And begin it did with Ryan dodging a hailstorm of gemstones, gulping as he watched them imbed themselves into the floor of the boutique...he didn't watch for long though as he was dodging even more and trying not to get bejeweled. Rarity smirked, quite amused at Ryan's moves as she peppered the area with gemstones to lead him exactly where she wanted him to go, "Now Darling! Sample my Gem Storm!"
"Yer...what?" Ryan really could've chosen better words to say as he watched Rarity's horn light up before she stamped the ground, "Oh dear..."
Throwing his arms up to cover his face, he barely got a shield up before a massive amount of gems flew up from underneath him and pummeled him mercilessly; when the attack finished he lowered his arms and grimaced, "Well now...that was stronger than I expected."
"To hear something like that is truly a compliment dearie."
"I bet." He chuckled, drawing his sword and wand, "Time to knuckle down against the ever lovely marshmallow."
"Marshmallows again...." She huffed, "I cannot help how pure white my fur is darling, but to compare me to a marshmallow..."
'But why not? Marshmallows are soft and squeezable and tasty....'
Ryan coughed, raising up a finger, "I'm gonna cut ya off at that Dark."
"Probably a wise idea Ryan...but I'm afraid we've dallied long enough." With that Rarity charged at Ryan who planted his feet and held her back, his sword meeting her horn. The two magical devices pulsed and reacted at their owner's respective magic clashing before the blow-back knocked them into opposite walls. Pulling himself from the crumbling drywall with a grunt, he looked over to see Rarity doing the same though she seemed rather irritated by the fact her hair was a horrid mess.
"Horrid mess is an understatement! I can't believe this sparring gets one so dirty! Ugh! I'm going to be cleaning and styling forever once I'm done!"—Rarity's eyes flared up—"It's time I put an end to this!"
Unsure as to what that meant exactly, Ryan watched as she gathered her magic up before summoning quite the large amethyst; it hovered in place before she flung it at him. Easily dodging it, he was unsure what that whole attack was before he felt something flying at him. Ducking he saw it was the gem from before that then did a u-turn and came right back after him.
"Dammit!" He growled, dodging once more and keeping an eye on it, "A homing attack! Great!"
Quickly powering up Malus Domestica, he split it into two before rolling out of the way of the massive amethyst again. Realizing he might have only one shot at ending this he planted one sword in the ground before running over and jumping over Rarity.
"What are you doing?" Rarity watched as he landed behind her and then planted his other sword in the ground.
"Ensare!"
With that vines extended outwards from between the two swords, latching on to and holding Rarity in place no matter how violently she kept trying to shake free.
"Darling! You do not treat a lady like this!"
"Sorry Rares, but I can't lose yet; things still don't make any sense in all this!" With that Ryan watched as the giant amethyst followed after him and that was all he needed to finish this. Placing Rarity between himself and it he waited until it collided with her in a brilliant purple flash of light.
"Ugh! At least...I...look...gorgeous!" And then silence as she was encased in the massive purple gem before falling with a clunk to the ground.
"K.O.! FASHIONALITY!"
Willing back his sword, Ryan walked over and checked on Rarity; as far as he could tell she was okay. Contained within a purple gem of a prison, but okay.
'We can't leave her like this, right?'
Nodding, Ryan agreed, "Yeah...let's see here."
Focusing with his right fist he hit the gem smack-dab in the middle and watched as it slowly cracked before falling apart around Rarity. Gently scooping up Rarity he took her upstairs to her room before setting her on her bed. Smiling, he lifted her curly lock aside and kissed the top of her forehead, "You were indeed gorgeous darlin', though you may not be as apt for fighting as the others, ya certainly gave it yer all. Now rest up, I've got answers to find."
With that Ryan headed back downstairs before spreading his wings and taking to the skies, wishing to test a theory as he pressed on.
Sure enough, even going by the sky had its issues as he ended up in yet another place he shouldn't have thanks to whatever was at work. Realizing that this next fight might be a bit more physical he slowed his pace before finally landing on the patch of clouds that surrounded Rainbow Dash's house. The odd thing was that by this point she should've shown up to challenge him much like the others.
'Where is she? Knowing her she'd be more than eager to go up against us.'
"I'm not sure Dark but....wait...what's that?"
Looking off into the distance, there was something moving towards them at incredible speed; only when it whooshed past them, rainbow trail in its wake, did they realize that their next opponent had arrived...and in style to boot. Dashing back and forth twice more, Rainbow Dash slowly flapped her wings to descend across from Ryan before shooting a toothy grin his way, "So you finally made it to me Ryan! It's about time you got a taste of the rainbow!"
'...didn't we already get one when ya were plastered and decided to kiss Ryan?'
Rainbow Dash gasped, her wings shooting straight up, "Not like that! I meant being on the receiving end of my impressive speed! I've been wanting to see how well you'd do in the skies when it came to fighting." She smirked, "And now I finally get my chance thanks to this!"
"What is this anyway? Some kind of tournament? The only pony that ever said anything remotely helpful was T-Sparks before she got Malus Domestica-d and even those words were about as clear as a puddle of mud."
"Less talking, more fighting! Come on!" Rainbow Dash wasted no time in dashing right at him, narrowly missing as Ryan just barely ducked out of the way, "So you're faster...not by much, but at least standing still you can weave out of the way. I don't want to see you doing that though...now come on! Spread them wings and come at me bro!"
Seeing as he might as well get it over with, he flapped his wings before taking to the skies and staring her down. Watching her smirk she came at him again as he rolled out of the way and grabbed hold of her tail. Spinning her around he released her, flinging her right into—and then through—her house. Knowing she wouldn't be going down from something as simple as that he waited for her to come back at him and blinked when she zoomed into his gut faster than he could react.
"Guh!" Ryan shouted, coughing at the impact as he got knocked towards the ground. Only with some last minute reactions did he flap his wings and pull himself out of it, coming dangerously close to hitting the ground with significant force. Looking up at her he flapped his wings repeatedly before dashing at the rainbow-maned peagsus and clashing against her rapidly. The sky filled with the sound of hoof meeting hand as the two combatants came at each other over and over, the clouds in the battleground soon becoming peppered with holes from their blows.
"Haha, not bad Ryan; I'm actually impressed." Rainbow Dash pounded her hooves together before pointing at him, "And yer not using your magic or that fancy weapon of yours either."
"Well, what can I say?" He laughed before smirking at her, "You wanted a hand-to-hoof fight in the clouds, then that's what you'll get."
He cracked his neck before continuing, "I have to say though, you're certainly tougher than I expected...and that's saying something since I knew being as athletic as you are you'd be a challenge."
Rainbow Dash blushed slightly, wobbling in her flight, "S-stupid! Don't say things like that...although—"She smiled sweetly at him"—thanks. That really means a lot to me Ryan. Alright! We've talked long enough, back to it!"
Cracking his knuckles, Ryan took his stance, "Sounds good to me! It's sky time we settled this."
Groaning at his pun usage, Rainbow flew headlong at him before wrapping her forelegs around his neck and dragging him downwards. Wiggling as hard as he could he broke free of her grasp before grabbing her in a neck-hold. Eventually it became a back and forth game as the two combatants slowly plummeted downwards flipping the hold on each other. The ground came closer and closer as they continued the reversal fest until at the last minute Rainbow had her grips on Ryan and sent him face-first into the ground with a piledriver.
"Hahaha! I love getting down and dirty with my hooves!" Rainbow Dash taunted, watching as Ryan did his best to wiggle free from the ground, "Still got some fight left huh?"
All she heard was muffled grumbling and the sound of flailing legs as a reply.
She snickered, floating down and patting his bottom, "I shouldn't be surprised but it's time I end this...20 percent cooler style!"
With that Rainbow Dash began flying as hard as she could upwards to get the altitude she needed; meanwhile Ryan was quite annoyed at not only being planted like a seed but having his hindquarters assaulted as well. Finally pulling himself free and shaking most of the dirt off, he looked up to see the tiny speck that was Dashie up in the sky, "Well damn...doesn't take a genius to guess what she's doing. I guess we've got no choice..."
'Ryan...you don't mean we're....?'
"Yep! We're about to do something really stupid but awesome!" Ryan shouted, focusing himself intensely before looking up at Rainbow Dash, "Time to do what no human has ever done before under their own power..."
'We're actually doing this? WE'RE ACTUALLY DOING THIS! Sure! Why not!?'
With that Ryan began flying as fast as he possibly could towards Rainbow Dash who had begun her downward build-up of speed as well. Seeing something coming towards her in the distance she couldn't help but laugh, "Hot damn! He's gonna fight me to the end! What a guy! I better put my all into this then!"
With that all was silent save for the wind rushing passed them, the crackle in the air as they built up speed, and the sense that something totally awesome was about to happen. The two friends pushed themselves to the limit as a strange cone became visible around the two of them, pouring on the speed to achieve what they both knew they had to in order to win.
"DASHIE!"
"RYAN!"
In a simultaneous moment, both fighters hit their peak as a double explosion rung out through the air with them leaving similar but different aftereffects in their wake: while Rainbow's was her iconic Sonic Rainboom colors, Ryan's was less colorful but no less impressive with its mix of purples, grays, and black. The two of them connected almost instantaneously after that, resulting in a gigantic burst of sound and energy that literally tore the clouds asunder. Dropping from the literal dust cloud, two seemingly unconscious figures were tumbling slowly as they headed earthbound once more.
"....D-DOUBLE K.O.??????"
Indeed, even the mysterious booming voice was unsure as to the outcome until the larger of the two finally grumbled and slowly righted himself before stopping his descent, "Damn Dashie....ugh...that hurt." He glanced down to see her still falling, "Shit!"
Thinking quickly, he flapped as fast as he could before getting underneath her and catching her in his arms. Eventually he settled in front of her now rather damaged house before walking inside and marveling at the fact that, of all the things spared from the carnage of their fight, her bed was still fully intact. Setting her down in it, he brushed her mane from her face before smiling, "Land's sake Dashie, that was a helluva match. Ugh...I don't know how much more of this I can take; I'm getting pretty worn out—"Smirking, he kissed her forehead before making sure she was comfortable"—Alright, time to keep movin'...I think I might be near the end of this so it's time to find out what the hell is going on here."
With that he walked out of her house, leapt from it to the ground, and began walking onwards towards the next challenge all while a loud voice rang out around him.
"K.O.! AWESOMEALITY!"
'I'm pretty surprised that worked and, ya know, you didn't end up an unconscious wreck of organs.'
"Well, I didn't know if I could pull it off but it is nice to know those spells you cooked up helped guard mah body against the massive G's that move can produce."
'...oh yeah, forgot I proposed those to ya at some point.'
Ryan and his mental companion had been discussing the end of the last match for quite a while now as he walked on mostly to help pass the time as he was slightly dreading where they were ending up next.
'By the way...'
"Yeah?"
'What should we call it? I mean, Dashie's version is the Sonic Rainboom....so...'
Ryan paused and tapped his chin, "That's a good question...maybe we should call it the...Midnight Express?"
'Nah! Oh! How about the Darkness Implosion?'
"Nah! Besides, it's an explosion remember?" He huffed at how hard this was, "Hmmm...what about the Midnight Eclipse?"
'Oooh! I kind of like that one...oh but, no wait...we can't use that one...Darkness Nightboom?'
"...yer intent on getting yer name in there somewhere huh? And why can't we use it?" Ryan laughed softly before snapping his fingers, "I've got it!"
'Ya do huh?'
"Yep!" Ryan thumped his chest before striking a pose, "We'll call it...the Darkness Shadeboom."
'....that has to be the most ridiculous, silly, pun-ridden name for a move I have ever heard or come up with.....AND I FUCKING LOVE IT! BOOYA!'
Ryan snickered, "Well then, I'm glad ya approve. And just in time too, because as I thought, look where we ended up."
Looking around at the all too familiar sight of what he now called home, he could see Sweet Apple Acres looking as beautiful as always. Heading towards the barn he didn't have to wait long until he heard her voice, "Well howdy there Apple Ryder. Nice of ya to finally show up."
Ryan laughed as he turned around and smirked at his marefriend, "You'll forgive me if I've made mah lady wait; I normally wouldn't but, well, I did run into a little trouble on the way here."
"Hoooweee, I'll say! Our friends have been having all sorts of fun with ya huh?"
"Haha, I suppose ya could say that." Ryan cracked his knuckles, "I'd rather not fight ya hon."
AppleJack smirked before charging, "Well then, that'll make it easier fer me to win!"
Ryan threw out his hand and blocked her charge, holding her back by catching the top of her lowered head, "Sheesh! Even with mah skills that's mighty powerful! Still, I said I'd rather not fight ya...but that doesn't mean I won't defend mahself if'n I have to."
With that he moved aside, letting go of AppleJack and watching as her momentum carried her for a bit until she managed to skid to a halt. Striking a pose he motioned for her to come at him to which she happily obliged. Ryan had a slight edge in their close quarter combat exchange, barely dodging the blows of Apps' mighty hooves as they slowly paced about in front of their home. It wasn't until she seemingly charged up and shook the entire ground that he was left a bit unbalanced and then ended up on the receiving end of Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee. Grunting at the impact he went flying into the orchard, coming to a stop a short distance away after rolling into one of the currently barren trees; groaning slightly he stood up just in time to see her charging at him with her lasso at the ready.
"Oh hell no!" Ryan shouted as he began running to avoid her trap, "Ready to see if ya can handle this rodeo mah sweet apple?"
AppleJack merely smirked and chuckled softly as she began to close the distance on him before throwing her lasso and managing to snag one of his legs with it. Pulling the rope tight she sent Ryan face-first into the ground before dragging him towards her, "I've got ya now Ry-Ry."
"Tsk, tsk...don't you remember?" He wagged his index finger at her, "If'n yer gonna take this bull by the horns, ya better be ready for a ride!"
With that Ryan began flapping his wings and taking off into the air, AppleJack wasn't going to have much of that and began to dig in to keep him from going anywhere. The two struggled back and forth for quite a while, AppleJack sliding forward every so often as her hooves screeched across the earthy ground. Putting all he could into it, Ryan eventually achieved a little more flight and watched as his marefriend refused to let go even after they were a few feet in the air, "Ah, I just love that tenacity of yers."—he flew erratically to try and shake her loose—"Oh, that determination!"
AppleJack did her best to hold on, but hanging from her mouth was beginning to take its toll on her and she felt her grip beginning to slip. Still, she refused to give in as she was shook all about by Ryan before, oddly, she felt herself being lifted up. Confused at the sudden upward movement, she was caught unaware when Ryan was soon face to face with her. Smirking, he gave her a kiss and watched as she let go of the rope in surprise before falling...into a large snowdrift.
"What? You didn't think I'd let mah favorite pony just fall straight onto the hard ground did you?" Ryan scoffed before landing next to the pile of snow and pulling the lasso off of his leg, "So then...what next sugarcube?"
All was still for a few moments after that question until there was a massive explosion that rocked the ground and sent the snow everywhere. Lifting an arm up to shield himself he barely made out an orange blur before he felt himself flying from a punch.
"Y'all ain't the only one that's got some fancy named moves there sugah!" AppleJack chuckled as she closed in on him, "SUMMER RAMBO!"
Before Ryan could even think to utter a 'what?' he felt punches coming from every single angle possible as Apps went to town on him with her move. After only a mere fifteen seconds it was all over and he went skidding along the ground before catching himself and rolling up on to his feet. Cracking his neck and stretching, he grimaced while smirking at AppleJack, "Good heavens luv, that was certainly an unexpected attack. How long have ya been holding that one in reserve?"
"Heh, long enough Apple Ryder. So then" She stomped the ground, "Had enough yet?"
Ryan shook his head before striking a ready stance, "Nope! Besides, I've yet to see all you've got..but that's okay. I think I know how to bring it out of ya."
AppleJack blinked before frowning, "And what exactly are ya plannin' to do sugah?"
"Something really stupid...but it'll totally get ya to yer full potential!" With that Ryan took in a deep breath before singing, "Who's a silly pony? Yer a silly pony! Who is? You is! APPLEJACK!"
'Where in tarnation did you get that from?'
"Mah secret...but it seems to have done the trick."—Ryan motioned towards a rather irritated AppleJack—"Let's rumble hon!"
"I am NOT a silly pony!" AppleJack practically roared as she charged at Ryan.
And thus the two went at it, hand meeting hoof and so on as they moved between the trees, almost dancing as it were in a way as their fight really heated up. Taking advantage of his tripping over an exposed root, AppleJack tackled Ryan and sent them rolling end over end down a steep hill before they finally came to a stop. Ryan noted the position they landed in and smirked, "Wanting to take another tumble in the orchard?"—he smirked and placed a hand on her flank—"Mah goodness, you are a naughty mare ain't ya?"
AppleJack's face flushed as she began to sputter out all sorts of things that sounded nothing like words at all. Eventually, with a little encouragement from Ryan, the two of them completely forgot about their silly little sparring match and got to enjoying each other's company in a much better way.
'Hell yeah it's better!'
"TIME OVER! ROMANCE! ...Romance?"
A short while later, AppleJack was dozing happily in the hay while Ryan simply watched her with a smile on his face as he tried to think of the next course of action. As it was he'd taken on all his friends including Vinyl which seemed unusual given her schedule so he was prepared for something weird to happen. Call it a gut feeling or just knowing how crazy things get in Equestria, but he knew that staying put would get him moving forward, "The question is...I just don't know what in tarnation to expect."
At that moment, almost as if it was planned, the sky turned pitch-black and the surrounding environment appeared as if it was disappearing. Turning to Apps, he saw her fading away and did his best to grab her...only for his hand to go right through her, "Dammit! Apps!"
Hearing a very loud, villainous laugh echoing around wherever he was, he could see the world beginning to fade back in and he was shocked to say the least at his current location for two reasons: the first being he was still able to breathe because two, he was on the flippin' moon!
'Well now, haven't been here in a long time.' Dark gave a chuckle, 'Oh, so long ago...so many lovely memories rolling through these lunar hills.'
"Heh, sounds like you and Lunes had a lot of fun back then."
'We had our time together thankfully...though it should've been more.'
"Awwww, is that who I think it is? Hahahahaha! The one that left me behind."
Turning in the direction of the voice, Ryan gasped in shock at the sight he saw, "...Lunes?"
"Luna" cackled loudly before smirking at our hero, "I once went by the name of Luna...but I am a force to be reckoned with. I am nightmare incarnate...I am the terror that flaps in the night...I. Am. NIGHTMARE MOON!"
Ryan's eyes widened, "That voice! You were the one that kept saying 'K.O.' every time we beat one of our friends."
Nightmare Moon chuckled as she slowly sauntered towards him, "But of course I am. I took great delight in pitting you against your foolish friends but my sister...pah!"—she spit at the ground—"She meddled so that you would not be seriously injured...and even then you did your all in order to stop them quickly so as to minimize their pain. What a hero. Bah!"
'Woona...were you really this angry back then?'
"Ha! As if you care! You went and recklessly lost your life to Discord and then I was all alone!" Nightmare Moon growled at Dark, "You were my knight! My defender! How could you leave me all by my lonesome like that!?"
'...Woona.'
"Hey! That's not fair!" Ryan narrowed his eyes, "Ah don't know what game yer playing, but Dark gave his life to save the world ya both cared about!"
"...foolish. He only protected a world where the day was praised...and my night was shunned!" Nightmare Moon flapped her wings and took aim at Ryan, "Enough talk! It's time for my knight to pay for his betrayal!"
'...Ryan....stop her! Please!'
Cracking his knuckles, Ryan pulled out his wand and sword before striking his ready stance, "I will Dark! I'm not going to let whatever this is pretend to be her anymore!"
"Foolish mortal! You dare think you have a chance against the goddess of the moon!?"
Ryan quickly raised his sword, blocking Nightmare Moon's horn and gulping at how close she'd come to shish-kabobing him. Pointing his wand at her chest he planted a magnet spell on it before she threw him back. Rolling and hopping back up, he saw she was shaking her head, "And to think, you were so skilled...but what is this? That magic is weak boy!"
'...that was odd.'
"I agree...but ya know what? She's about to see how mah magic works." Ryan began making some hand motions before yelling loudly and producing a brilliant purple ball of fire, "Let's see if ya can handle this one Nightmare Loon!"
With that he chucked it at her, though she could only yawn in reply, "Is this all you have to offer?"—she merely teleported out of the way—"Your aim could use some work."
Ryan merely snickered shouting one word, "Attract!"
Confused at his rambling, Nightmare Moon suddenly grunted as she felt a large force pulling her chest. Looking down, she could see a bright green glow that upon further observation matched a similar glow on the fireball, "I may have spoken too soon. Perhaps you have a few tricks after all. However..."
Ryan grumbled at seeing her easily shatter his spell and then knock his attack away like it was nothing. Disheartened but far from giving up, he went on the offensive and charged at her. The two exchanged blows—his sword meeting a beam of light she had conjured up—scattering lunar debris here and there in their wake. Eventually their fight took to the sky—well, relatively speaking since they're in space—as they continued to trade blows and spells before they knocked the other back and landed back on the lunar surface.
'Damn Woona...you got pretty strong as Nightmare Moon huh?'
Nightmare Moon coughed before smirking, "You would've served me well Darkness...especially with this strength I sense."
'...I wouldn't have let you become Nightmare Moon. And even if you still had...I would not have let you get lost in such madness!'
"Big words boy...you certainly couldn't stop your friend Discord from delving into that same madness."
Ryan blinked in confusion, "What does that mean?"
'...it'll be explained by the time this comes out so just go with it.' Dark huffed, 'Anyway...as the defender of the moon I cannot let someone like yourself that taints it's purity continue on. Prepare for the final blow!'
"Hahahaha, very well then fool! Let us do this once and for all!"
With the glorious sight of the Earth as their back drop, Ryan and Luna sized each other up one last time as they waited for the moment to strike. It was almost instantaneous as they were upon each other, Ryan's roaring matching Nightmare Moon's in volume as they unleashed all they had into their attacks. A massive explosion sent them flying, blanketing the area in a dust storm that whipped about. Coughing and covering his mouth, Ryan slowly got to his feet as he looked for any sign of Nightmare Moon.
'Ryan! Look!'
Jerking his head where he could sense Dark was pointing, he could see Nightmare Moon still stood but...something was off about her. She seemed to be made of...wood? And there were strings coming from each of her limbs leading upwards where a familiar foe was controlling the apparent puppet.
"DISCORD!"
"Hahahaha, that is my name...though it took you long enough to figure things out boy." Discord scoffed, snapping his fingers and poofing the Nightmare Moon puppet into a pile of pony-shaped fruit snacks, "Hungry dear boy? I imagine you must be after running ragged fighting all your little friends..."
"Uh...no thanks."
Discord shrugged before eating the massive pile in one bite, "Oh well, more for me!"
Ryan shuddered a bit at that; even if he'd seen Pinkie do something similar and was mostly immune to it at this point, it was still pretty freaky seeing someone unhinge their jaw that much.
Delicately wiping his face with a napkin—and then eating said napkin—Discord turned his attention to Ryan before poofing behind him and grabbing his shoulder, "So then dear boy, it's just you and I once again. Oh...and Darkness as well I suppose. Only this time, your little friends aren't around to put me in my place again. Hahaha."
Reaching up and grabbing Discord's claw, Ryan simply and casually flung him over his shoulder and slammed the surprised draconequus to the ground hard. Coughing a bit and sliding up as a paper-thin version of himself, Discord smirked at him, "My, my...it would seem you've been a busy boy since we last tangoed!"
Ryan gasped as Discord grabbed hold of him and began to literally tango, swaying him back and forth before he broke free and glared towards the draconequus, "You're acting sillier than last time."
Discord waved his paw about, "Oh I'm just having some fun with this one boy, that's all. Last time I had quite a bit of pent-up rage at seeing a human once again but this time I'm slightly less psychotic in my actions."
'Slightly he says...'
"Oh good! I was hoping you'd be vocal as well!"
Seeing him poof away again, Ryan felt a talon on his shoulder before grunting as it dug in, "Ow! The hell?!"
"Sorry, but I just want to make sure I've got a firm grip on you so I'm not kissing the moon again." Discord giggled like a schoolgirl, "After all, that is my friend Darkness Shade's department and I'd just hate to take that from him."
'Sarcastic...but silly. Other than the shoulder grab I'd swear you were acting like your old self Discord.'
"Oh well, ya know, I did some thinking while I was trapped in that lovely little vault again after you pummeled me with friendship and then those ponies put in me in my place." Discord sighed before releasing Ryan from his grip and then lazily floating in the air, "I got to thinking I was too hasty...letting my more sinister self blind the rest of me. So then...how about a rematch?"
Ryan eyed him oddly, "A rematch? With the fellow that freaking killed me? You must be joking?"
"Of course not dear boy! Think about it...if this is all my doing, then the only reason your friends and you could go all out without killing one another is thanks to me."
"...why wouldn't you want us to kill each other? What's your game?"
"Oh, nothing...does this look like a face that has an ulterior motif?"
Frowning at the fact that Discord's face happened to be missing, he heard a laugh coming from the ground and looked down to see those familiar red and yellow eyes staring up at him along with that snaggletoothed grin. Rolling his eyes he readied Malus Domestica before nodding, "Alright then Disky; let's see what you've got when ya aren't trying to murder me."
"Splendid!"—Discord snapped his fingers—"Though if you'll recall, I never said anything about fighting me!"
"Wait...what?" Ryan clutched his head after getting those words out, "Discord! What are you doing?!"
"Why...merely summoning your final opponent, that's all." Discord smirked, pulling out a giant popcorn kernel filled with mini paper tubs, "I'm really working my chaos here boy so you better make this entertaining."
Ryan stumbled back and forth momentarily, feeling as if his head was splitting in half before finally there was a blinding flash and he fell to his knees, "Wha...what was that?"
"Need a hand?"
"Why yes, I..." Ryan jumped slightly at hearing that voice, "...it can't be."
Looking at the hand stretched out towards him, he followed the jacket-clad arm all the way up to the one it belonged to. Sure enough, staring at him from behind a pair of shades was none other than Darkness Shade himself. Taking the offered hand, he pulled himself to his feet before blinking, "So...how...I...."—he scratched his head—"This is weird."
"Tell me about it." Dark huffed as he glanced at Discord, "So, Cordy, what's the deal with this?"
"Oh it's quite simple my dear Darkness." He paused to take a sip from what appeared to be a bottle of hot sauce, "Remember how I said I did a lot of thinking while imprisoned? Well, one thought I found absolutely curious was that of which one of you would win in a fight! After all, I have fought both of you, and you certainly do have quite the amazing repertoire of skills built up. Add to that your fighting styles that are similar but each your own and damn if you don't have the makings of a fanfic idea!"
"A fanfiction idea? That's just ridiculous Disky." Ryan rolled his eyes, "And...are you eating paper?"
"Mmmmm! It's full of fiber!" Discord licked his lips before burying the empty popcorn kernel, "And it can't be too silly...in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if someone has shipped the two of you. Most likely a certain princess we are rather familiar with."
Meanwhile, back in Canterlot...
Celestia paused from her typing, her pupils narrowing as she glanced about nervously, "...somepony knows."
Back on the moon...
"Okay, first...guh! Second...mah mind! Agh!" Ryan grumbled, clawing at his head, "I can only hope not."
Dark seemed to be regarding what Discord said curiously before he smirked and uttered a single question, "So then, which one of us would be top?"
In that instance two things happened: Ryan's eyes became so wide they threatened to fly off of his head, and Discord literally exploded from laughter. Piecing himself back together, the draconequus was still clutching his sides in an effort to keep them from flying away again, "Oh merciful Tia!"—he wiped a tear from his eye—"I've missed that humor of yours so much...why did I let that event drive me mad? I ruined so much fun because of that..."
"...I just wish you would've explained things to us better back then." Dark frowned, glancing at the ground, "That whole sequence of events was nothing but misunderstandings..."
Ryan was at a loss for words, not knowing much about what happened back then; in truth, while he was more than eager to share memories with Dark to help the both of them, a lot of Dark's memories were locked away...and not necessarily by choice.
"Ah, yes...the foolishness of youth. Anyway, that's not what we're here to talk about; if you're both game I'd like to see how you handle the other."
Ryan held up a finger to get their attention, "While I would have no trouble facing someone that is like a brother to me at this point, I should point out it's through him I can cast magic."
Discord waved his hand dismissively and smiled, "Oh, fear not dear boy. You yourself are more than capable of handling magic. After all this time, your body has configured itself to this world so even without Dark bouncing around your noggin—"He accentuated this by pulling off his head and dribbling it"—you are more than capable of fighting, especially against Dark. All in all, this is going to prove most interesting."
"I'm more than happy to oblige." Dark remarked, cracking his knuckles, "It's so nice to be in mah old body again."
"Yes, yes...now then, seeing as the final boss cutscene has taken forever...let's get this thing going!"
"FINAL STAGE! GET READY? FIGHT!!"
Dark and Ryan slowly walked towards each other before bowing slightly and taking their stances...and then silly banter began.
"Awesome setting?"
"Check! Awesome final music playing in the background?"
"Check! Oh but...Hey Cordy! Can you get us a crowd to watch this awesomeness go down? Might as well give Equestria a front row seat to this as well!"
Discord snickered and snapped his fingers, "For you Darkness, why the hell not?"
At that all ponies in Equestria were suddenly poofed into a huge stadium that began to show a live feed from the moon; poofing in with them were multiple Discords all dressed up in vendor costumes that began to hawk everything from snacks to t-shirts and even plushies designed after Ryan and Dark. In the announcer seat, Discord—wearing a sports jacket—sat next to a very confused Celestia as he began the play by play, "And welcome everypony to something that can only happen in the most ridiculous of fanfiction! The ultimate showdown between Equestria's favorite humans!"
From somewhere in the crowd, a voice shouted out, "THEY STOLE MY IDEA!"
"Lyra! Shush!"
"Discord...do tell me what in the name of me is going on here? One moment I was writing cl—I mean typing up some important documents and then the next I'm here watching Ryan fight...is that Darkness?!"
"That's right Tia! Thanks to my chaotic desires I've managed to create the ultimate match! And I think our combatants are about ready to start!"
Back on the moon, the two humans gave a wave to the camera yet another Discord was filming with before finally charging at one another, their fists colliding as the duked it out.
"Hyah!"
"Kyah!"
Kicks, punches, noogies, and even wedgies...nothing was sacred as they went full out on one another, slowly raising the ante as they began tossing random magic spells back and forth in a more exciting version of dodgeball. Gasping loudly at getting hit, Ryan slid back before panting.
"Ooooh! And it would seem that Ryan took a big hit with that one. Let's get a replay!"—Discord pointed at a board before drawing on it—"As you can see here, Ryan did a decent job of countering Dark's attack but failed to take into account this large fireball. And if we go in slow-motion, you can easily see the look on his face, eyes widening in horror before shouting in agony at failing so hardcore."
Ryan huffed, noting his shirt was rather shredded now...though his jacket remained mysteriously intact. Cracking his knuckles, he reached behind himself and pulled out Malus Domestica before uttering one word, "Propagate!"
"And it seems that Ryan is busting out the big guns already. His iconic and mysterious sword has certainly saved his flank on many occasions but will it be enough to triumph over Darkness?"
Celestia smirked before figuring to hell with it and began to provide commentary as well, "Oh, I wouldn't be too worried about Darkness..."
"Haha, I was wondering when you were going to bring forth the big gun. I must say...it's quite interestin' to see that thing pointed at me for once." Dark chuckled softly, before reaching inside the back of his jacket, "It won't be enough though..."
Ryan raised an eyebrow, "And what exactly does that mean?"
"Simple—"Dark produced a blade of his own"—ya ever wonder why you were able to handle a sword so well so quickly?"
Ryan shrugged before smirking, "I figured it was just because learning things really fast was a special skill of mine."
Dark snickered before shaking his head, "Who do you think you are? Kurosaki? No...it was thanks to me and this beauty here."
Looking at his sword momentarily, Ryan had to say it's appearance didn't surprise him in the least: the dark midnight blue blade, the silver hilt wrapped in black, and then the diamond in the shape of a crescent moon in pretty much the same place an apple was on his sword pretty much screamed Luna...not to mention how much he really loved not only his Princess of the night, but also being her defender.
"It would seem we truly are the same." Ryan motioned towards Malus Domestica, "But...I won't be losing this fight."
"Very well then." Dark held his sword out in front of him, the blade pointing towards the ground, "Obfuscate! Eclipsis!"
"Wha...?" Ryan stumbled out before watching everything go slightly discordant, "Disky! Are ya interfering?"
"This isn't Cordy's work." Dark noted, now behind Ryan and apparently standing upside down, "My sword is a curious little devil, and she's more than eager to have some fun."
Quickly running forward, only to stumble over himself and suddenly note he was now standing sideways in mid-air he tried to collect himself and deduce what was going on.
"Oh, it's quite simple." Dark explained from his position above him, "See, Eclipsis is a tricky gal and likes to have fun by messing with someone's senses."—he brought his sword down, narrowly hitting Ryan who correctly judged going left would send him right—"Hmmm...not bad."
'Okay Ryan, think here...if it messes with the senses, then that means this particular function messes with the mind's ability to determine your current position and orientation, that means it messes with balance...so then, if I don't use my eyes, I just about wager...'
Dark regarded Ryan curiously as he stood there looking at where he thought he was until he closed his eyes. Wondering just what he was doing, he barely managed to bring his sword up to block both of Ryan's, "Well then, looks like those smarts of yours are helping you."
Ryan simply laughed before pushing Dark backwards and landed a kick to his chest sending him skidding back, "Ya should know not to count me out that easy."
"Indeed. Not many that have had that used on them have figured it out...let alone that quickly." Dark shrugged off the blow before spinning his sword in circles and then finally planting it into the moon's surface, "Darken the Skies! Lunaris Eclipsis!"
"Oh ho! It would seem that Ryan is in for a world of trouble!" Discord made wild gestures as the crowd cheered in the background, "How will the Apple Avenger face this task?"
Celestia snickered, "A very good question Discord...how will he handle finding himself alone in the dark?"
Ryan felt as if the air around them was become thicker and to say he felt uneasy was an understatement as a mass of inky darkness seeped out from Eclipsis before spreading out everywhere, blotting out all possible light. He blinked a few times to make sure it wasn't another mind-game and discovered, much to his dismay, that it was not. For though he did indeed still feel the ground beneath him, and his swords still in his hands, he could see absolutely nothing and that worried him.
"Troubled?"
Ryan turned to where he thought Dark's voice was coming from but only saw more of the claustrophobia inducing darkness, "Dark? Where are you?"
"Right Here!"—Dark smacked Ryan on the butt—"Haha! Now I see why AppleJack does that to us all the time...it's amazing fun making someone's face turn that red!"
Ryan clutched his rear and grumbled, "How the hell can you see me blush—I mean what the hell is wrong with you Dark? Doing something like that!"
Celestia merely smirked, snickering as Discord eyed her curiously, "Haha, it's just like my sto—I mean poor AppleJack."
Meanwhile, in the crowd watching, AppleJack was being held back by Rainbow Dash and Twilight as she shook her hoof at the screen, "Dammit Dark! Ryan's mah man so hands off!"
Ryan wasn't very happy from Dark's indecent attack and so he slashed out in the direction of the voice only to find empty air, "Rawr! This hide 'n seek game is insane!"
Dark giggled in the dark, flicking Ryan's ear, "What's the matter? Ya mad bro?"
Slashing again, his sword met nothing as his frustration was beginning to boil over. Throwing his arms out to the side and spinning his swords with his magic and yelled loudly before shouting out, "Illuminate the Darkness! Zap-Apple....FLASH!"
"Whoa nelly!" Dark threw up his hands, trying to shield his eyes from the intensity of the lightning burst that was flowing forth from Ryan's swords, "Heh, now that's more like it!"
"Oh and it seems like Ryan has countered with the light of friendship!"
"Actually Tia, I think that's just from some kind of fancy apple."
Celestia rolled her eyes, ignoring Discord's odd moment of being logical, "Now with Dark properly exposed, just how will Ryan take advantage of him?"
"...don't you mean of the moment?"
"I know what I said!"
Twilight could only sigh and bury her head in her hoofs, "And that is the pony I look up to the most..."
Now that Dark was visible once again, Ryan wasted no time dashing over and grabbing him before flying up high and rocketing to the moon's surface with him, "Yer gonna be kissing the moon the hard way Darky!"
Dark tried to wiggle free before smirking, "The hard way? So basically after Woona's had a little too much to drink and she's feeling frisky?"
The crowd in the stadium fell silent at such a quip, and Luna, who had been watching peacefully from her VIP seat, nearly choked on her donut before feeling the stare of many ponies, "...what?"
Despite his effort to unbalance Ryan with his ecchi moment, he still found himself firmly planted in the lunar surface, "Hmmm...I now know what a turnip feels like."
Ryan landed across from him, panting as the battle began wearing him down, "Yeah...how do ya like that Dark?"
He watched as Dark wiggled a bit in an attempt to get loose, before he saw him disappear deeper into the hole. Puzzled by his actions, Ryan saw him emerge not too far away covered in...was that cheese?
"Huh...so the moon is made of cheese. Guess that's what Woona subsided on all those years." Dark shrugged, munching on some of it, "Hmmm...it's no mozzarella but it works."
Luna facehoofed as she watched the screen, "Oh Darkness..."
"So then...we seem pretty well matched...but I think we should get ready to end this."
Unsure as to what he meant, Ryan watched Dark plant his feet before bringing his hands together. Eyes widening when he realized what he was up to, Ryan did the same though felt a little more shaky in his movements.
"And it looks like this is going to be it folks! They seem to be readying their final moves! Oh I'm so torn at who to root for!" At that Discord split in half and began arguing with himself about who should win and why.
Meanwhile Celestia rubbed her hooves together in delight, "Yes...yes...it truly is as if someone has read my story...oh I can only hope the end is the same. Mmmm~"
Both halves of Discord turned to Celestia, regarding her strangely, "Tia my dear...I do believe you need some professional help. And coming from me, that's saying something."
As the two fighters focused their magic, the moon itself began to rumble from the immense pressure as they readied their final strikes.
"I know you've always wanted to be in one of these things before, so let's make it a good one! True Darkness Eraser!" Dark yelled loudly as he unleashed a beam of midnight blue magic.
"I'm sure we will! I won't lose to you!" Ryan roared, unleashing a similar beam though this one was grey in color.
The two beams rocketed forward before meeting with a mighty crash and thus began the struggle as each of them tried to overpower the other with all their might. Debris flew off from the intensity of the energy, chunks of moon rock floating up and away as they continued firing in the heat of the moment.
"Come on Apple Ryder! Show that Dark fellah what for!"
"Yeah! You can do it Ryan! Show him your twenty percent cooler!"
Luna looked on with a smile, happy to see Darkness giving his all once more, "You can do it my knight! I believe in you!"
"And it would seem they're evenly matched fillies and gentlecolts! I haven't seen such a showcase of magic since I was on the receiving end of that blast. Something is missing though." Discord snapped his fingers, poofing up a glass of chocolate milk, "Ah! Now it's perfect!"
"Ugh....yer pretty strong Dark." Ryan grunted, one eye closed as he focused, "I won't...give in though!"
"Hahaha, I'd hoped not! I'd hate to beat you thinking you hadn't." Dark growled, pouring on more magic.
Ryan faltered for a bit, feeling himself get pushed back as Dark's beam momentarily overpowered his own; redoubling his efforts he put more energy into holding it back but found he was slowly losing ground, "This isn't good..."
In the stadium, AppleJack and the others watched as Ryan slowly lost ground and began to worry about their friend, "Tarnation! He seems to be runnin' out of steam!"
"Oh this is simply the worst, possible thing that could happen!"
"While I wouldn't say that Rarity, I don't him to lose. That would be so uncool..." Rainbow Dash turned to Twilight, "Can't we do anything to help?"
"I don't know." Twilight tapped her chin for a moment, "Wouldn't that be like...cheating?"
"It's not cheating if we just cheer him on right?!" Pinkie pulled out some pom-poms and began dancing about, "Go Ryan Go! Go Ryan Go! You can beat Darky-Warky!"
Fluttershy looked at the extra pom-poms Pinkie had brought before finally nodding, grabbing one, and then cheering as well, "S-she's right! Go Ryan! Yay~!"
Ryan had felt it, the moment when you've reached your peak and you know you have nothing left to give. Glancing at the nearly overwhelming amount of magic Dark was now throwing at him he wondered just how much longer he could delay what was appearing to be the inevitable...and that's when he felt it. There was a warmth, originating in his chest, that seemed to spread out around him and suddenly he felt renewed strength. Glancing to his left and right he saw his friends, their smiling faces invigorating him as he felt the strength of the bond they shared.
"This can't be all you have is it?" Dark roared, putting on more power, "If it is, I have to say I'm disappointed in you..."
"Then feel the strength of mah..."
Dark was a bit perplexed, "What?"
"...Ultra Fightin' Miracle..."
Dark narrowed his eyes before widening them at what he saw: Ryan was being flanked by their friends, the six of them adding their own magic to his and surrounding it in a rainbow of light, "Oh man...I'm so boned! This is fantastic! Hahahahahaha!"
"Harmonized Justice Cannon!"
The magical power from his friends surrounded Ryan's attack, swirling as it traveled along his beam and hit Dark's dead on...and then began pushing it back at an alarming rate! Dark did his best to fend it off, but he knew when he was beat; smirking he gave a thumb-up, "This was a...blast—"He snickered"—I am Darkness Shade...and you are truly my worthy successor!"
With that Dark was engulfed in the blast, disappearing back into Ryan's mind as the crowd in the stadium roared loudly at the fight's conclusion.
"HYPER COMBO FINISH! K.OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Celestia looked at Discord as he continued shouting out before shaking her head and sighing, "Oh my. I should be happy Dark ended up inside Ryan, but that's not how I wrote it happening—"she glanced at her microphone, realizing it was on"—oh ponyfeathers!"
With that she quickly beat a hasty retreat, teleporting away in embarrassment leaving Twilight to hide her head in shame at her teacher's perverted thoughts.
Back on the moon, Ryan took a deep breath before falling backwards and staring up at the Earth hanging there, "...heh...heh...I won. It's finally...finally over right? Everything is back to normal? All mah friends and I can get back to life as usual? Maybe get some tasty apples and snuggle time to unwind with? That's not much to ask...right?"
'Well, I don't see why not but...we're kind of still on the moon ya know.'
Ryan groaned, realizing Dark was right; still, it was kind of comforting having him back inside his head...even if he'd never admit that to him. Slowly sitting up he looked towards the Earth and asked for help, "I'm kind of low on magic reserves after all that so Cellie...Lunes...if one of y'all would be kind enough to bring me home that'd be pretty darn awesome."
He sat there for a while before he felt the familiar pull of teleportation magic and with a quick poof was sitting in the middle of the stadium where he was nearly deafened by the cheers of all the ponies there. Slowly standing up, Ryan managed to give a wave and a bow before swaying and falling back to the ground.
His friends rushed to his side and Ryan could see Luna standing there as well, "Hey gals. Hey Lunes...sorry I beat up yer boyfriend."
"Haha, it is okay Ryan. To see him in action again was quite a treat...but you should probably wake up now."
"What? What are you talking about?" Ryan slowly blinked, watching as everypony there began to fade away, "Huh...."
"I have to say...this has been one of the most entertaining dreams I've ever encountered." Luna paused for a moment, "Well...at least since Dark was around anyhow. It's been fun."
Ryan shrugged, just going with it, "Okay then...glad to be of help. See ya later Lunes..."
'Bye bye my sweet Woona...'
CONGRATULATIONS! ALL STAGES CLEAR! YOU ARE THE PONY CHAMPION!
'Ugh...what a weird dream. Pretty awesome though...gives me an amazing idea fer a game...as well as some killer new move ideas...'
Author's Note
It has finally been finished! After writing to it on and off for...about three weeks now while still pumping out chapters in the main story, my newest one-shot that totally takes the idea of Fighting is Magic and runs with it into the silliness and epic territories is finally out!
I hope y'all enjoyed reading this as it was a heckuva lot of fun to write and turned out a lot cooler than I thought it would. 
Oh yeah, and suffice to say, this happens between 13th and 14th Harvest so if ya don't get some stuff, it's probably because of that and not having read to that point in my main story Just Horsing Around. If so, why not go read it and have some more laughs? 
