Chapters The sun was bright and high in the sky, Rainbow Dash was sleeping on her cloud well into the day even though she was supposed to be at work keeping the skies clear. Why she still gets paid, no one knows. She slept, and slept, and slept. Meanwhile, Big Mac was hard at work in the apple fields. He was carrying the cart full of apples, close to 100 pounds per trip, back and forth between the barn and where Applejack and Applebloom were gathering apples. He was sweating like a pig and wondering where that expression came from.
Pigs don't sweat, so why does that expression exist? Why am I thinking of this right now? Man, that Fluttershy sure is sexy. I wonder if she likes me. Oh damn, that's nice. Big Mac carried the cart back, fantasizing about him and Fluttershy getting together. He slaved away all day earning no money. he wouldn't earn any until the apples sold, and they never turned a big profit.
Two ponies of completely different lifestyles, one who slept all day and rolled in the deep, and one who worked his ass off and was lucky to see 50 bits a year.
When he finished his job, Big Mac started with his chores. He grabbed a sack full of bits from the family vault and went into town to go grocery shopping. He made sure to get the best deals he could on every item he bought. Going to stores with sales or ones run by friends. Some with just normally low prices. He walked all around town finishing up his shopping, talking to his friends on the way.
"Yo Mac, whats up." one pony shouted.
"Hey Frank, doing good. Chester, hows the wife?" Mac said.
"Good dude, and your sister?"
"Which one?"
"The one I want to fuck."
"What."
"Nothing."
Ok, maybe he's done talking to friends. After a few minutes, he left a stall and was putting a head of lettuce in his satchel, he wasn't watching where he was going when he bumped into a certain pegasus who was facing the other way.
"Oh, sorry ma'am, my bad." Big Mac said politely with a slight bow.
"You prick!" she shouted. "You think you can rape me mid-day?"
"Wh-what?" he backed up a bit, scared about what the ponies around him would think happened.
"Ugg men, always thinking you can do whatever the fuck you want huh? Well you can't do this!" Rainbow Dash said gesturing at herself.
"I'm sorry miss, but I don't understand."
"Screw you! Go fuck yourself!" she said quite annoyed and walked away.
"Rich people, love to hate them, snoody and uptight." Big Mac muttered to himself.
Rainbow Dash retreated to her cloud which had a pony shaped indent in it. When did she get up? Damn she sure is sneaky.
"Rape, she thought I raped her! What is wrong with this generation? I feel bad for whoever has to live with her."
Big Mac woke up later than usual. He looked at the sun, it was at least 3 o' clock. How could I have slept that long? he thought. Granny Smith is gonna be pissed.
He got up and stretched. Something didn't feel right. Wait, he fell asleep in the barn, he shouldn't see the sun right away. Maybe he sleep trotted? No, Mac doesn't do that. He looked down, he saw nothing but cloud. Wait, cloud? Big Mac jumped back, terror filled his body, he knew this wasn't right, he should NOT be on a cloud. He backed away slowly, he could feel he was weaker, and more lean. Quicker and more agile however. Eventually, he fell off the cloud and plummeted to the ground.
"Sweet Celestia help me!" He shouted. His voice was more feminine than he remembered, but it seemed familiar, who did who know had a voice like that? As he plummeted, the world went in slow motion and his life flashed before his eyes. Apple, tree, cart, sleep, apple, tree, cart, sleep, store, that one bitch, sleep and so on. He could almost see the light, probably because he was looking at the sun. Big mac tumbled over so his back would hit the ground first. This changed the chance of survival, making a fraction better, hardly enough to count. He noticed something. His legs were blue and there were six limbs waving around uselessly in front of him. He could actually see his hair now, and it seemed to change color. It was red, no wait, yellow, now its green. No, it was every color of the rainbow. He was even more confused when he noticed his genitals were missing. Confused? Nah, he was more terrified. He dared to glance down. He would hit the ground in one second, but that could be an hour in his slow motion terror feeling. Its like Chronos himself was torturing Mac, taunting him with his impending doom. Then he felt impact. Well, that was a quick story huh? You don't want it to end here? Fine.
Big Mac opened one eye, he saw light of the purest white. He opened his other eye.
"God?" he asked, again, the feminine voice escaped his lips.
After a few seconds his vision cleared. He could see. He was staring directly at the sun, that was the light.
"Oh good, you're awake." Some pony said. Big Mac could not see who said it though.
"Who is that?" he asked. he knew he should recognize the voice, but his episode of near death dulled his brain.
"Its Fluttershy silly." she said from around the corner, probably in another room cooking something or tending to one of her animals.
Big Mac's heart skipped a beat. "Fluttershy?"
"Yeah."
"What happened?"
"I saved you. You were falling and I saved you. I was confused on why you didn't just fly out. I know you do that for stunts, but you were too close to the ground to save yourself."
"Fly?"
"Yes, don't tell me you've forgotten how to fly." Fluttershy entered the room holding a roll of bandage. "Now give me your wing, I hit you pretty hard when I saved you."
"Umm, what?"
"Rainbow Dash, don't play games with me."
Rainbow Dash? Now why would she call me that? I know she knows my name. Big Mac thought.
"Extend your wing."
"I can't"
"Fine, I'll do it for you." Fluttershy reached over and grabbed Mac's side and pulled softly. A wing slowly formed off of him. Then Fluttershy wrapped the bandage around the wing, and grabbed a stick on bandage and stuck it on mac's side. "There, that should stop your bleeding and any viruses from getting in."
"Thanks." Big Mac said. This whole thing struck him as odd. Oh well, he'd figure it all out later, he was extremely tired for some reason.
Rainbow Dash woke up to the sound of barn doors sliding open. Sunlight spilled into the room. She simply rolled over and covered her face with her hooves.
"Morning sunshine." Applejack said.
"Five more minutes mom." Rainbow Dash said. Her voice was deeper than she remembered, but maybe it was just dulled morning senses.
"Come on, I already let you sleep in a few hours, its three in the morning! We have a late start but we have to go harvest the apples."
"I don't wanna." she complained.
"Well you have to, I left Applebloom out in the orchard by herself and I am not fighting with you. We're both going out there and working. We've done this all day every day since we were Applebloom's age.
"Ugg fine." Rainbow Dash got up and stretched. "Is it just me or did I get more muscular while I was sleeping?"
"Its just you Mac."
"Mac?"
"Yeah, its your nickname, duh, your name is Big Mac after all."
"Wh-what?"
"Mac, are you ok? Are you sick?"
"I think I am."
"Go in the house and tell Granny Smith, she'll fix you up nice."
"Umm ok." Rainbow Dash feigned a cough and slowly inched to the house. When Applejack turned, she bolted the rest of the way.
"Oh, hello Mac." Granny Smith said. "What can I do for you?"
"Help me, I'm rainbow Dash!"
"Rainbow Dash eh?" Granny Smith got out of her chair and stumbled over to the red stallion. "Oh Mac, honestly, the things you do to get out of work."
"I'm not lying!"
"Yeah you are Mac, honestly, I thought I could trust you."
"Hey Granny, wheres the milk?" a voice came from the kitchen.
"Applebloom go back to the fields."
"Aww, but why? Mac doesn't have to!"
"Because he has a reason!"
"But I'm supposed to hang with the girls today."
"A good reason Applebloom."
"But Granny!"
"You and I both know I'm too old to argue, now go."
"Awww." the filly did what the old pony asked.
"Ok Rainbow Dash, I believe you, I've seen this happen before many times." Granny Smith said when Applebloom left.
"Is there any way to reverse it?" Rainbow Dash asked helplessly.
"Yes, three ways in fact. Wait a year, learn a lesson, or do a series of unconventional actions."
"A YEAR? I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!!!"
"There are two other ways."
"I can't learn though, I'm too awesome for being a nerd! And how unconventional are we talking about?"
"Very, it will probably ruin both yours and Mac's reputation."
"How so?"
"You heard about playstallion?"
"Yeah?"
"You figure it out."
After a few seconds, Rainbow Dash figured it out. She couldn't speak. She was too stunned.
"So, your choice, lesson, or unconventional actions?"
"I, guess, lesson. My body will NEVER be in playstallion."
"Ok. Now you must find Mac, for you won't be switched back unless you BOTH learned the lesson."
"So why do I have to find him?"
"To tell him of course!"
"Oh. Thanks for making me feel dumb."
Big Mac was lying in his new cloud house luxury bed. The female hormones taking him over so he acts more like Rainbow Dash than Big Mac.
Since I'm a millionaire I might as well use the fancy clothes I have. Mac thought looking over his new outfits. I'll take this one. He grabbed a slim black dress. Mac slipped the mane and tail rings on to hold his hair in place so it wouldn't get in the way. Then he pulled the dress on. It fit his body perfectly. Mac then made a margarita and went to his back porch and lied down on the new luxury lawn chair. The sun was setting, nearly out of sight completely, as he sipped. Mac remembered something and tugged the mane and tail rings out, allowing his new rainbow hair to spill out and flow in the slight wind. He continued to sip his drink and stare at the darkening sky. Mac was drowsy and his eyes began to droop. Never in Mac's life would he be able to have such luxuries as this. Though he didn't think about it, the female hormones were already affecting his memory of his male life. If he stayed in Rainbow Dash's body much longer, Mac would have to be called Rainbow Dash. It would happen much sooner than he'd think. He'd still have the same mindset as Big Mac and react to things the same way, but everything else would be Rainbow Dash.
Big Mac had to tell himself over and over that he did not belong here, but he didn't care, he would enjoy every moment of this. The richest he has ever been was when he had to sign Applebloom up for school. The money he had was taken from the family vault and it didn't last long. He looked back at this memory and chuckled, just in time for it to be wiped from his brain. He felt that this life was where he belonged, but something deep inside him said it wasn't true. Big Mac was reminiscing on his last few memories of his actual life. He seemed to forget granny Smith faster than Applebloom, and her faster than Applejack. Rainbow Dash's memories filled Mac's head as his memories left him.
Big Mac's eyes began to slide shut. He was really tired. They were just slits, when the sound of hooves on the cloud spooked him. He looked around, there was no pony in sight, then the doorbell rang. Mac got up, stretched, went inside, then opened the door.
"Hello?" he said tiredly. His sight was a little blurry from his tiredness. When his eyes unfogged, he was stunned at the sight.
"Big Mac." Rainbow Dash said. "I need your help!"
"Wh wha bu h." Big mac sputtered, utterly confused. He was looking at a strong red stallion with butterfly wings.
Rainbow Dash stared at the small cyan mare. "You put me in a dress?"
Big Mac stared back dumbly.
"There isn't much time left. I could forget why I came here for any second."
He kept staring, confused.
"You and I." Rainbow Dash paused, she suddenly forgot what she was about to say, the male hormones overcoming her.
"We what?" Mac asked, forgetting why he was so shocked at the sight.
"I don't remember." she said after a few moments of hesitation.
Big Mac thought for a few seconds. "I think you're cute. Wanna go out?"
Rainbow Dash was taken aback by the suddenness of the question.
"Well?"
"No thanks, I, I like someone else."
"Oh, ok." Mac said a little disappointed. "Do you remember why you came here?" he asked to get out of the awkward situation that just happened.
"No, I don't." Rainbow Dash said.
"Well, if you ever do remember, just come by again." Big Mac turned around and walked back into his house, giving Rainbow Dash a full view of his rear.
"Damn" Rainbow Dash whispered to herself.
"What?" Big Mac asked, stopping in his tracks.
"Nothing. Umm, goodnight."
"Goodnight." then Big Mac shut the door behind him.
Big Mac woke up at 5 in the afternoon, that's early for him now. He checked the clock and rubbed his eyes. Then he picked up his phone and called Rarity. The unicorn picked up after a few seconds of dial tone.
"Hello." she said.
"Hi Rarity." he said with a yawn.
"Rainbow Dash, what are you doing? You normally don't wake up until 6!"
"Yeah I know, but something inside me just begged to wake up early."
"So what do you need?"
"Well, today is my day off work so..."
"Isn't EVERY day your day off?" Rarity interrupted.
"Well, sort of I guess."
"Anyways, as you were saying."
"Its my day off and I was wondering if I could come over and hang out with you or something."
"Sure, I always need new models."
"What?"
"I said sure, sounds fun."
"OK, what time should I come over?"
"I don't know, an hour or two?"
"Ok, see you then."
"Bye." the two ponies said in unison then hung up.
Big Mac sat in his master bedroom and stared at the ceiling. "What should I do now?" he asked himself. "Maybe you should watch tv or play call of duty or something." He thought for a few seconds then picked up an xbox controller and turned his console on.
After an hour and a half, Big Mac decided to go to Rarity's house.
"Oh goody you're here!" the white unicorn shouted giddily.
"Yeah, I didn't know what we were going to do, so I didn't bring anything. That ok?" Mac asked then looked at the ground.
"Yes, it quite certainly is!"
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"So what are we going to do?"
"I don't know, play some games, you model my dresses, maybe hit the bar later?"
"What was that second thing?"
"You model my dresses."
"Lets start off with that."
"Why? I thought you hated dresses."
"I know, that's why I want to get it out of the way right away."
"Oh, I see, that makes sense."
Big Mac tried on countless dresses and did varying poses for each one while Rarity decided whether to sell, shred, or keep the dress. The whole thing took another hour and a half. It was now 8 pm. The sun has been set for a while now. No, its not Winter, time just passes differently in Equestria.
"Oh my, that was longer than I planned, guess we'll have to skip the games and go straight to the bar." Rarity said.
"Ok." Mac said happily. For some reason, he really liked the bar, like, like he was a man inside!
The two mares made their way to the nearest bar, it was new, so there wasn't a sign, nopony knew the name, so it was just called 'the bar'. They walked in and went up to the bar, then sat on stools next to each other. They each ordered a tequila and downed the whole glass in one gulp. They continued to order alcoholic drinks and drunk them until they were drunk. Now, what could happen to two drunk females who really like each other? So many things, each I could use for a good storyline, hmm.
"Hey Bane bow. Isn't that the guy you always say you piked?" Rarity asked pointing at a fire extinguisher.
Mac looked where her friend pointed. "Pore in?" he asked seeing the wonder bolt sitting at a table, alone, hiding his face.
"You hood ask him drought!"
Big Mac got up and stumbled over to the corner table, grabbing everything in reach for balance. When he got there, he sat on a chair.
"Rainbow Dash?" Soarin asked, looking up at the newcomer to his table, his face gleaming with tears.
Mac just nodded.
"Why are you over here?"
"I cane over to stalk with you."
"I'm sorry what?"
"Puts wrong?"
Soarin realized the cyan mare was drunk and started to understand what she said. "Spitfire."
"Cut about her?"
"She broke up with me."
"That lich!"
"Yeah, I know right?"
"You shut go out wick me."
"What?" Soarin asked, surprised.
"Puck me."
Soarin stared at the wonder bolt fan girl who stared back pleadingly. How could he say no to that face? "Yes."
"One boar question."
"What?"
"Pan you take me tome?"
"Sure." then the stallion helped the mare out of the bar and somehow got her back to her house.
"Aww thats sweet." Rarity said, still at the bar, watching the two ponies leave the bar. "Aww duck, she was gonna way."
"Excuse me ma'am." a deep voice said from behind.
"Huh?" Rarity asked swiveling around to look at a well built stallion sitting on the stool where Mac was sitting.
"How is the beer?"
"Food"
"Umm. Ok? Is that good or bad?"
"Yes."
"Good, or, bad."
"YES!"
"Good?"
"YES!!!"
"Which brew would you suggest?"
Rarity held up her nearly drunk glass and made a show of taking the last sip.
"That kind eh? Barkeep, two of those!"
Two mugs of whatever Rarity was drinking slid down the bar and stopped at the two ponies.
"On me." the red stallion said as he took a sip.
Rarity took a sip, cautiously. The stallion had dark hair and kind, inviting eyes. He looked strong enough to pull hundreds of pounds all day long. After a few seconds, Rarity decided he was an ok stallion, and she took her sips normally.
"So, how are you doing?" he asked.
"Ok, I less."
The two continued to talk for a while. Eventually Rarity decided she should return home. The stallion was taking a nap, his face completely out of sight. Rarity wrote her adress and phone number on a slip of paper she happened to have with her, tucked it in the stallions hoof, payed her tab, then headed home.
Big Mac woke up very early for him, it was noon. He woke, blinking. Sunlight filtered through the window. He shielded his eyes and tried to get out of bed, but a hoof was holding him down. Mac looked at who it was. Soarin lied on the bed sleeping. Mac gingerly lifted the hoof off him and got up. He checked himself over then looked at the position Soarin was in.
"Well, there went my virginity." he said. Mac went over to the window and looked out at the surrounding sky. Then he looked down at Ponyville, not enough of the town was in view to really see anything. The view was beautiful though. As the cloud drifted over near the Apple family barn, all he could see was miles and miles of apple trees in full bloom. As he stared at this expanse of land, he could sense something stirring behind him, so he looked. Soarin stretched and yawned still in the bed. He scratched his butt and got up. He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly as if chewing the air. Then Soarin looked at Big Mac and froze for a second. He panicked, then remembered what happened.
"Morning Rainbow Dash." Soarin said stifling another yawn.
"Good morning Soarin." Mac said smiling.
Soarin was about to say something when the doorbell rang randomly. Mac went to see who it was.
"Hello." he said opening the door.
"I REMEMBERED!" the real Rainbow Dash shouted.
"What?" Mac asked.
"I remember why I came here the other day!"
Mac waited a few seconds, it was obvious Rainbow Dash wasn't going to say anything until he responded.
"What?" he asked.
"I just told you, I remember why I came here!"
"What?"
"I remember!"
"WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER?"
"Oh." Rainbow Dash blushed and turned her head away from Mac a bit, embarrassed.
"So, what is it?"
"Oh, I, I, SHIT!"
"Forgot again?"
"Yes." Rainbow Dash said then turned and walked away.
Mac shut the door behind the red stallion and went back into his room in time to see Soarin put one hoof over his nostril and blow through his nose as hard as he could.
"Are you ok?" Mac asked.
"Very much so, this is just how I take care of a stuffy nose." Soarin said then did the same with the other nostril.
Mac stared at him blankly. Well, this is awkward. Then the doorbell rang again and Mac checked it.
"I REMEMBER!" Rainbow Dash shouted.
"How the hell are you staying on the cloud? Your wings are gone." Mac pointed out.
Rainbow Dash looked down, she was a pegasus at heart so she slowly sunk instead of fall right through, so she quickly jumped into the house, luckily she decided to get solid wood floors instead of more clouds. She landed on her stomach then rolled over.
Mac trotted up to her and stood over the red stallion. "So, what did you remember?"
"You and I....." she was cut off when Soarin walked into the room.
"Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?" he asked.
"Talking to Big Mac." Mac said, then he realized what it must have seemed like to Soarin. "No, this isn't what it looks like! I swear!"
Tears fell from Soarin's face. Two thin streams from his eyes to his chin. A sight all too familiar to Big Mac.
"No, Soarin, I swear!" Mac said stepping away from Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash didn't get up, she just watched what happened, sprawled out on the ground.
"Don't lie to me Rainbow Dash, I know the truth. I'm done with girls, they always end up cheating on me. Goodbye Rainbow Dash." Soarin said as he walked out of the house, crying.
"This better be good." Mac said angrily, Rainbow Dash thought she saw fire in Mac's eyes for a second.
"I, I, I." She choked under the pressure.
"TELL ME NOW!" Mac lifted Rainbow Dash up, even though physics dictates this as impossible.
"I'm sorry, I forgot again. Please don't kill me." Rainbow Dash looked away, tears welling in her eyes when she clenched them shut.
"Damn it Mac, I should just kill you now!" he said pulling the red stallion closer, so their faces were inches apart.
Rainbow Dash waited for her impending doom. "Make it quick, please!"
Then Mac forced her to look at him, and kissed Rainbow Dash full on the lips, then released her.
Rainbow Dash was struck with confusion at the suddenness of the action.
"I could never kill someone I love." Mac said.
"Wait, wait wait wait, I remember!" Rainbow dash said.
"Well, spit it out man!"
"We switched bodies."
"What?"
"Yes, I asked Granny Smith, she even told me how to fix it. There are options, do you OW!" Rainbow Dash was cut off with a kick to the shin.
"I don't need your help, I can figure it out myself!" Mac said. "Now, get out!" then he shoved Rainbow Dash out the door, amazing strength for such a non muscular pony. Then when she turned around to say something, Mac slammed the door in Rainbow Dash's face.
***
Rainbow Dash sat on her own doorstep, slowly sinking into the cloud, plummeting to her death any second now. She was panicking trying to figure out how to get to Ponyville and NOT die when she heard sobbing from around the corner of the house. So she went to investigate.
"Soarin?" she asked.
"Get away from me, girlfriend stealer!"
"Look Soarin, I'm sorry, but you're wrong, it honestly wasn't what it looked like, it was just bad timing and poor decisions on where to communicate."
"Don't lie to me!"
Rainbow Dash had an idea, but she had to do it fast, her red hooves were nearly half way in the cloud.
"Look Soarin, it was all my fault, ok? The guys at the bar were making fun of me for being a virgin, so I had to try it, just so they'd stop making fun of me. I'm sorry, don't me mad man, I'm sorry, I wouldn't have done that for any other reason man. Now, could you please take me down to Ponyville?"
"Really? Is that the real reason why?"
"Yes, yes it is." Rainbow Dash said quickly.
Soarin wiped the tears from his face. "Yeah, I guess I can fly you down really quick."
"Thank Celestia." Rainbow Dash said too quiet for Soarin to hear as she felt one of her hooves go through the cloud.
Soarin started flying and grabbed Rainbow Dash then descended slowly and dropped the stallion off at ground level.
"There you go man."
"Thanks, no hard feelings right?"
"None at all, peer pressure, I've been there."
Soarin flew back up to the cloud house floating above Ponyville and Rainbow dash walked to Sweet Apple Acres. He arrived just in time to hear the phone ringing. Granny Smith answered, it was only her and Rainbow Dash awake at the time.
"Its for you Mac." Granny said with a wink, putting emphasis on 'Mac'. Then she handed the phone over to the red stallion.
"Hello?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Who is it?"
"Mac, its me, Rainbow Dash." Mac said on the other end of the line.
Oh shit this is gonna be confusing. Flames thought.
"Why did you call?"
"I've been thinking, and my anger over came me earlier, how do we switch back?"
"You believe me?"
"Yeah, no pony in Ponyville would lie about something that serious."
"Ok, so we can either wait 11 more months, do a bunch of things that neither of us want to, or we learn a lesson."
"It will probably be faster if we did the second thing, so lets do that."
"Ok, meet me at the apple house, Granny Smith will help us from there."
"Ok, I'm on my way, I'll be there soon to never, depending on if I can fly well enough to not die."
The two ponies waited a few minutes, and Mac eventually made it to the house, the moonlight shining off of his Cyan coat.
"So where do we start?" he asked, adjusting his rainbow mane.
"Granny?" Rainbow Dash asked.
Granny Smith got out of her chair. "First, you must make the confession of secrets."
Both ponies hesitated, Mac checked Granny's face, she had an expressionless face, she was obviously telling the truth.
"I lost your virginity." Mac said.
"YOU WHAT?" Rainbow Dash shouted.
"SHUSH!" Granny scolded. "Now, whats your secret Rainbow?"
"I, I, I always had a crush on you Mac."
"Ok, now you two need to hug." The two ponies looked at each other and did a quick awkward hug. "Ok, that's good enough I guess." She said. "Now kiss." the two ponies looked at Granny then at each other, then they kissed each other on the cheek. "Lips." They quickly made lip contact. "Longer." she said. "I will say when to stop." Then the two kissed, they kept their eyes closed in disgust, it must have felt weird to be kissing yourself on the lips. "Keep going, keep going, keep going."
Mac was coughing and cursing at Rainbow Dash. "What the fuck! You should've fucking asked me before you did something like that you dick!"
"Well, I'm sorry, but it just, felt so right, and I thought we had something."
The two ponies continued to argue for a few minutes until Granny Smith interrupted. "We still have a few more things to do. See that mountain?" Granny asked, pointing at a giant hill behind the Apple house through a window. "Meet me at the top." she said as she got out of her chair and slowly worked her way to the back door. Mac went first as soon as the green pony vanished from sight. His Rainbow tail swishing back and forth in the air with every step. He paused at the door.
"You coming?" he asked Rainbow Dash.
"OH, yeah sure." Rainbow Dash said, quickly running up to Mac before they started walking to the top of the hill.
They reached the top panting, after 4 hours of climbing.
"Wow, you two are slow, I've been waiting for ever!" Granny Smith said.
"How did you beat us? We started a minute after you and were traveling five times as fast, easily!" Mac said.
"I took the stairs." Granny said pointing at the staircase on the side of the hill.
"There was a staircase?" Rainbow Dash asked, her jaw dropped.
"FUCK!" Mac shouted.
Granny Smith laughed. Then the sun began to rise. Shit, they took too long, I can't do my plan now. Damn. Guess I took this camera for nothing. Well, at least I got the kiss, oh they owe me so much now. "Now, one last thing." she said.
"I swear to Celestia its sex, you're a dead Mare!" Rainbow Dash said.
"No, it isn't, drink this potion." Granny said, handing each pony a bottle of red liquid. "Hurry, before the sun gets too high in the sky!"
Rainbow Dash and Big Mac took a cautious swig of the mysterious liquid. Next thing they knew, they were back in their own bodies.
"Yes, thank Celestia!" Rainbow Dash shouted as she darted into the air and flew around a bit.
"Thank you Granny, thank you so much!" Mac said, giving his grandma a hug.
Big Mac sat on the chair in the living room of the Apple house. His hooves were tired from the hike.
"Granny, that was possibly the oddest spell/curse reversal rituals ever." Mac said as he flexed his muscles, enjoying the fact he was strong again.
"Just between you and me, only the potion part was needed." Granny Smith said.
"I hate you, you know that?"
"Yeah, but now I have something to hold over your head for a long time." she said pulling out the camera.
"So? Is it nearly as powerful of a blackmail object as my dirt on you?" Mac asked.
"You tell me." They both held their cameras side by side and played the videos. Mac cringed at watching the one on his camera. It was, so, disgusting.
"Ok, fine, you win." Granny said. "Oops." She shoved the camera from Mac's hoof and it shattered when it hit the ground.
"Well, good thing the SD card didn't break." he said taking the tiny blue cartridge from the pile of scrap.
"Oh, umm, excuse me?" a light voice said from just inside the front door. "I wanted to talk to Mac, and the door was open, so I let myself in, is that ok? I'm so sorry if its not, I, I'll just leave."
"Fluttershy?" Mac asked. He couldn't get a good look, whoever it was was standing in the shadows, so he couldn't see who it was. "Is that you?"
"Y-yes. Why?"
"You don't have to leave, come on in, take a seat." he said.
"But, both of them are filled."
"Granny, leave."
"No." Granny Smith held out the camera as if to remind Mac. Mac held out the SD card. "Fine." she said, then she got out of her chair and went to the stairs, she stayed just out of sight, but within earshot, curious as to what was happening.
"Umm, Mac, I came here, to talk to you, about your question." Fluttershy said a little more timidly than usual.
"Yes? And?" Mac asked. Question, what question? What the hell is she talking about?
"Yes." she said simply.
"Yes?"
"Yes, I will marry you."
Two days and she wants to marry me? I'm gonna owe Rainbow Dash so much after this. he thought. "What, seriously?"
"Yes." Fluttershy kissed him on the cheek then left the house, happier than shes ever been.
"Granny, I thought I was only Rainbow Dash for two days, how did that happen?" Mac asked.
"Well, remember how your memories were lost on the first day?" she asked on her way back to her chair.
"No."
"Oh, well they did, due to Rainbow's hormones, you forgot your actual life and learned her's, and now, that you're back, the same process is happening in reverse, you're forgetting all of Rainbow Dash's memories, and that includes the time you were her. You two were actually switched for 11 months and 28 days."
"Wait, so how do I remember that I was Rainbow Dash then?"
"Magic is funny that way."
"And we could've just waited two days to change back?"
"Yup."
"I really hate you."
"Just be glad there wasn't time for me to get the dirt I really wanted."
"I wonder how Rainbow Dash is doing?"
"Don't you change the subject on me boy! Plus, something has to happen, we don't want the second to last chapter to end anticlimactically do we?"
Mac blinked and stared at her. "Chapter? What do you mean chapter?"
"Oh nothing, cue the time lapse of 3 months!" she shouted at no pony in particular.
***
Big Mac and Fluttershy were standing at the alter, Fluttershy in a wonderful white dress made of pure silk by her animals, and Mac in the most plain tuxedo any pony has ever seen.
"Do you, Big Mac, take Fluttershy as your lawful wedded wife forever? Through sickness and in health? Until death do you part?" the minister asked. I just took a shot in the dark here, weddings bore me, so I have no clue what the guy actually says.
"I do." Mac responded right away.
"And do you, Fluttershy, take Big Mac as your lawful wedded husband forever? Through sickness and in health? Until death do you part?" the light gray stallion asked Fluttershy.
"I do." Fluttershy replied after a moment's hesitation, but that's just normal Fluttershy, always shy around unknown ponies, and there were lots of them, every pony from that one episode with the Apple Family, the ones that were born after that, and the ones who were sick that day, plus the minister. They're just lucky she said anything at all.
"Does anyone object to the marriage of these two ponies?"
"Ah objack." someone in the back said. Wow, that sucks. "Sorry, I sneezed!" he shouted. Oh, well that's better.
"I now pronounce you, husband and wife, you may kiss the bride." the minister said, closing the book on his podium.
Fluttershy lifted the veil off her face and looked at Big Mac, who leaned down slightly, and they kissed.
Lets face it, we all knew something like this was going to happen from the start, and this probably would've been a better way to end than the next chapter.
Rainbow Dash was sitting in the pews at the wedding, next to Soarin. For some reason, the cyan pegasus was crying, something she only did at weddings and funerals. She was sitting right next to the aisle, and Big Mac whispered "Thank you." when he and Fluttershy walked by. Rainbow Dash was completely confused, what had she done for him? Then the two lines of bridesmaids and groomsmen starting leaving in the same fashion, Applebloom was one of the bridesmaids and she was paired with Featherweight. Rainbow Dash couldn't tell if Applebloom was happy or disgusted. It appeared she was fighting back a smile, so she was probably happy about it. Rainbow Dash had to suppress a giggle at this. After the two groups of ponies left, the rest of the people in the pews left, the other side was nearly filled, there were so many Apples. Yet, the side of Fluttershy's family and friends jut had a small family, Rainbow Dash, and Soarin.
After leaving the chapel, all the ponies headed for the reception. Normally there's a bigger wait between the actual wedding and the reception, but Mac was the kind of guy who just wants things to end so he has more time to do whatever he does, and Fluttershy was the kind of person who couldn't say no to someone she loved, unless its better if she did. The newly wed couple rode to the reception in a carriage, pulled by two ponies that seemed stronger than Mac, if that was possible.
Rainbow Dash and Soarin trotted to the building side by side. They didn't talk on the way there, or really do anything special. They just walked. They eventually made it there, before the whole Apple family, so at least they had room to do SOMETHING before the reception started. They found the perfect spot, but neither of them had anything to mark them with, so they just pulled the chairs out and hoped whoever walked by got the memo. Then Soarin went over to the bar and checked the prices, while Rainbow Dash looked for the bathrooms. The rest of the things were kind of obvious where they were. After a few minutes, Fluttershy and Big Mac arrived, followed by the Apple family, and the reception began. The whole thing lasted about 5 hours before Rainbow Dash got bored of it and decided to leave, taking Soarin with her. It was just a mess of loud music, dancing ponies, drunks, food, and cake.
When she reached the door, Big Mac trotted up to her to talk.
"Rainbow Dash, I don't know why, but I can just feel that this never would've happened without you." he said, holding a half drunk glass of beer. "I owe you big time, if you need anything, and I mean ANYTHING, just call me."
"Look Mac, I don't, wait, anything?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Yes, anything, well, almost anything."
"Thanks Mac." Rainbow Dash said. "Now uhh, can we leave please? I'm kind of bored, and all of the Apples here kind of make it hard to do anything."
"Sure." Mac said, he gave Rainbow Dash a quick hug then stepped to the side. "Goodbye, see you later." he said waving at the two as they left.
"Bye Mac, have fun with Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash called back.
"Oh, I will." He said with a wink, though neither pegasus could see it, they were too far away and it was too dark.
After a few minutes of walking, Soarin and Rainbow Dash were finally under her cloud, and they were about to fly up to it.
"Rainbow Dash." Soarin said before they started to go up.
"Yeah Soarin?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"How about we make our own fun?"
"Sorry, but I don't fuck until I'm married." she said, then she darted up to the house.
Soarin was very confused. He flew after her. "But what about three weeks ago? The night we met at the bar?" he asked.
"I was drunk, it doesn't count!" she shouted at him, stopping in place and staring him in the eyes. "Got it?"
"Yes, ok, i get it." Soarin said.
"Good." Rainbow Dash said simply then took off to her cloud.
"It totally counts." Soarin said quietly then stretched his wings, about to take flight.
"No it doesn't." Rainbow Dash whispered in his ear.
"What the? How did you do that?"
"I'm the fastest pony in Equestria, going to my cloud and back without you seeing is easy. Hell, I'm so fast I could probably fly back to the reception say hi to Mac and Fluttershy and fly back here in a minute."
"Wow, really?"
"Yeah."
"Why aren't you a wonderbolt then?"
"When was the last time Spitfire saw me fly?"
"Oh, I see, but, you really should be one, you're amazing."
"Yes, I know I am. So are you."
The moon was rising behind the two ponies. They stood face to face.
"You know Rainbow Dash, I love you."
"I already knew that, and I love you too."
The two ponies looked at each other in the eyes. They leaned in a bit.
"Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss." Some random background pony said quietly, hiding in the bushes. They said it just loud enough for Rainbow Dash to hear. She looked over at the bushes. "Oh shit.
The blue mare went up to the bush and pulled it open. She looked at the mare sitting there.
"What are you gonna do to me?" she asked, truly terrified.
Rainbow Dash picked her up and threw her in the trash bin.
"Umm, I belong in the recycle bin." she said, her voice resounding off the sides of the huge green box.
Rainbow Dash went over to the pony, took her from the trash, and dropped her in the recycling bin.
"Thank you." she said.
"Did I really have to move you?" the cyan mare asked annoyed.
"No, but it's better for the environment."
Rainbow Dash went back over to Soarin.
"Well that was weird." Soarin said.
"Yeah it was." Rainbow Dash said.
The two ponies looked at each other again, the moon slightly higher in the sky, this time it was the perfect height, it made this the perfect setting for a story ending kiss. Too bad it's not happening, lol!
"Race you back to my house!" Rainbow Dash shouted, then got ready to fly.
"You're on!" Soarin said.
"You get a five second head start." she said, stretching her wings.
"Fine, but I'll beat you before you even get halfway!" Soarin zipped up to the cloud at full speed. It took him just over five seconds to do it.
"What took you so long?" Rainbow Dash asked, lying on a lawn chair.
"What? How is that possible?" Soarin asked, amazed.
"When you're me, anything is possible." Rainbow Dash said with a yawn. "Now can we go to bed?"
"We? I thought you don't have sex until you're married."
"Sleeping in the same bed with someone and sex are completely different!" Rainbow Dash said, a little irritated, then she went into her house and headed for her room.
Soarin sighed and followed her. He lied down next to Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash woke to hear Soarin talking to someone on the phone.
"No, I haven't got it yet, but I will soon. I'm working on it as fast as possible. No, just give me two more days, I promies I'll have it by then." Soarin said quietly into the speaker.
"Have what?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"The, uhh, groceries for the wonderbolt academy." Soarin tried his best to make it seem like he meant it, but he failed.
Rainbow Dash didn't buy it for a second. "Oh, ok." Unlike Soarin, she was an amazing liar.
"I'll be back in a few minutes." Soarin said nervously as he stepped out of the house and flew away.
Rainbow Dash followed him.
Author's Note
Major cliffhanger huh? Guess I'll have to make another chapter....
After about half an hour of flying, Soarin finally reached his destination, still oblivious to the fact that Rainbow Dash was following him. He stopped in front of a large black door, then he looked around, probably to see if anyone was following him. Rainbow Dash bolted into a bush when he started to turn her direction. He looked at the bush curiously. Then the wind whipped up and shook the others. He figured the wind was rustling the bush, though it was odd only one shook at first. Soarin looked at the door and found a keypad somewhere on it. He punched in a quick series of numbers and the door opened, then he walked in. He shut the door behind him, but it was too late, Rainbow Dash already got in, but he still was unaware of her presence.
Soarin walked down a short hall and came into a room.
"Did you get it?" a voice seemed to emanate from nowhere.
"Yes."
"Good. Did she believe the call when you said you didn't?"
"Yes."
"Excellent, now, give me the necklace."
Soarin pulled out a necklace, it looked as if he got it from thin air. Then he put the trinket on the table in the middle of the room and slid it across. A goldenrod hoof stopped it.
"Perfect, now we need the other five elements." The pony stepped out of the shadows and the light glinted off her sunglasses. "It will be hardest to get Fluttershy's, so go for it next to get the difficulty out of the way."
"Yes Spitfire."
Rainbow Dash gasped quietly, but it echoed from her position around the room.
"What was that?" Soarin asked, looking around for anything out of place.
"We have been discovered." Spitfire said. "GUARDS! We have been penetrated, I repeat, we have been penetrated!" she shouted.
One of the guards let out an childish giggle.
Spitfire glared at him. "You three, find the one who infiltrated the base. You, stay."
The guard who laughed met Spitfire face to face. "This is serious. If you are that immature, then I'll have to fire you, but you know too much, so I will have to end you. One more slip-up. I promise you. Just one more." Spitfire said. "GOT IT?" she shouted.
"Sir yes sir." The guard responded.
"I'm watching you. Now find whoever snuck in, and terminate them." Spitfire said, then she got as close to him as possible without touching him. "Now." She said and pointed a hoof at the hall.
The guard quickly ran around her and went down the hall, carefully checking for ponies.
"The elements of harmony will be mine." Spitfire said.
Author's Note
Well, looks like I just lead it to a sequel.
