Chapter Five - Not So Shy, Anymore… Part One

Wednesday May 13, 2020. 9:48

A bit outside Española, New Mexico.

I glared into the uncaring mirror, but nothing changed.

...Well, a red spot quickly formed and the mirror cracked and distorted, but nothing about me changed.

I shifted a step to the left, forcing myself to become a bit calmer. It worked enough for me to look into the mirror, but my fucking wings still stood flared in anger, though.

Canary yellow wings.

A soft, pink mane reaching my lower back.

Bloodshot eyes the wrong color, with a red glare in them.

That fucking mark, staining my chest and hips...

My hoof drew back as I shifted my weight forward, my body following the hay-maker...

And my hoof stopped, only a hair's breadth away as I realized how foolish I was acting.

The mirror cracked once more anyway, as my eyes lingered too long.

I closed my eyes, as to not vaporize anything in my fury, as I slowly lowered my shaking... hoof.

Two fucking weeks. Two. Fucking. Weeks.

And you'd think I'd be calming down by now, but noooo...

The flashes of fucking memory had seen to that.

Especially the last one!

”If I ever meet Discord again, I'm tearing his fucking head off...”

As the snarling echo hit me, I feel sobbing in a tangled heap on the bathroom tiles. Not even my voice was the same.

And yet it was.

Granted, no reason why it should have been spared... But it’s the little things that hit you hardest, you know?

I'm not certain how long I lay there... but the realization that I was using my hoofs and wings to cover my face snapped my out of it.

“Anthony?” A voice came through the door.

Mom. Sounding worried.

“Yes?” I croaked out.

“…Are you on the floor? Should I come in?”

I laughed bitterly. “Just having an existential crisis... Please don't.”

My mother stood still for a moment, and then I heard the soft click of the door. Must have forgotten to lock it. She gasped a bit, at the sight of the mirror and the faint smell of smoke. The she gasped again, before rushing over and scooping me up.

A part I thought I had left behind long ago just wanted to wail in her arms... but I carefully tried to push her away, eyes tightly closed. “Mom, please. I don't want you to get hurt...”

She just gripped me tighter. “Why would I?

“...I glared at the mirror.” I swept a hoof toward the mess. ”It did that. I... don't trust myself, right now...”

I pattered of, my train of thought lost as mom started stroking my hair. A tiny coo of delight forced its way out of my throat. I rested my head against her neck, careful not to scratch her with my horn. She gasped a little, as I hugged her tighter. “Not so hard!”

I relented, feeling a bit sheepish. “...Sorry.”

I felt a pat on my back. “Your simply stronger than you’re used to.”

That was an understatement...

I'd tried bucking one of the old trees on our property, just to get a feel for my new slash old body...

The damn tree had folded over, almost split in half.

“It'll come to you, in time. Just be careful until then and everything will be fine.”

I hugged a little tighter... this time I didn't hear ribs creaking. “Love you, mom.”

She chuckled. I wonder how she'd react if I told the portly woman with raven black hair and twinkling brown eyes that she was literally the best mom I'd ever had...

The image of a frowning, almost sneering, pegasus mare looking almost like me, but thinner and with a blue mane and dressed in a Wonderbolt uniform flashed through my mind. I quickly fought it down.

The nag didn't deserve to be remembered.

“Love you too, sweetie.”

I smiled wide at the words...

Before realization came crushing in replacing the smile with a horrified grimace.

Mom just chuckled at me and my blush, offering the newly cleaned and folded bathrobe she had been carrying without further comment. I donned it quickly, still blushing.

The women put a hand on her hip, shaking her head. “Like you have anything to be ashamed off, sweetie...” She leaned in and up, kissing my burning cheek. “As soon as you leave the house, you’re going to have to get a stick just to beat of all the suitors, I can tell!”

“Mom, please don't...” I said, fidgeting.

It was true, I had to admit that a part of my got... exited, no other word for it, when I looked down and saw curves...

Didn't stop me from being a bit uncomfortable about the subject, though.

Mom took my hoof with one hand, petting it with the other. “I know this is...”

“Utterly fucked up?” I offered.

She turned her last pet into a light smack, making me jolt. “Language.”

I leveled a gaze at her. “Mom, I've turned into a pony princess. With magic glowing eyes of doom. What possibly could be more worthy of swears?”

Mom hesitated for a moment, before she continued petting my... Fuck it. I don't care if the real word is foreleg. ...my arm. She was silent for a while longer. “...Just don't like hearing my little boy swearing...” She drifted off, looking at where the cleavage of a woman should have been.

I glanced down. Down at the... Ugh. ...pink butterfly fused with my flesh. Flesh still raw and aching from the sudden appearance of the gems in question.

One of the least pleasant ways I've ever woken up let me tell you… I had to show both my pillows into my mouth not to scream my head off.

I quickly tugged the robe a bit closer, hiding the thing from view. Mom's troubled gaze just shifted to my eyes.

“Anything you want to talk about?” I asked, trying my best fake smile...

But mom didn't buy it, she just sighed before speaking. “...Sorry, I'm just... worried.”

“About...?”

She chuckled softly and without any humor. “Sorry, sorry... I've been reading too many bad novels. I keep expecting... I don't know. Somebody or something to just...” She throw her arms wide. “...dart in here and carry you off to some grand destiny...”

I turned, lifting the hem of my robe enough to show her the three pink butterflies on my hips...

The one's with red cross-hairs over them. Right where a butterflies heart is.

I let the robe fall, before saying with confidence and a smile: “Consider that these things are supposedly once destiny made manifest... I think it proves you have some say in it.”

Mom chuckled again... but smiling this time. “You've always been scary good with a rifle...”

I stuck my tongue out at her. “Would you even say special talent, scary good?”

Mom tilted her head at me. “You know, I didn't get that part...”

I made air-quotes... mom giggling at the sight of that gesture being performed with hooves. “’Everypony has their own special magic...’” I shrugged, with a rustling of feathers filling the tiny room. “I don't get it either. This addition shouldn't be there according to what I know. You’re only supposed to get one magic tramp stamp... no matter your other talents.”

I chuckled, at the warning glare my mother shot me. “It's the name of a type of tattoo and you know it, mom.”

Mom sighed, absently patting some completely imaginary dust from the dress she was wearing...

And a horrifying thought struck me.

Please, God. Never, ever have her realize I'm te-

A slow, terrifying grin spread on my mother’s face. “So, when am I going to get you out of those robes... and into something a bit more... feminine? My dear daughter?”

Gha!

I quickly raised my hooves, to ward myself against the woman that had... Brrr! ...clothes-shopping, on the mind.

Then my frown turned into a smile, as I saw an out. “Probably a long time, mom. I need to be able to...”

Mom just snorted at me. “You haven't been down on all fours since you tried bucking that poor tree. Nice try, but I'm not buying it.”

Fuck! But how abo-

I blinked. Then I crossed my arms, giving her a careful look. “Mom, I'm twenty-five. I'm not wearing a dress and that is final.”

“It would be more flexible and less restrictive than pants...” She lifted the edge of an arm on my robe, giving it a disapproving look. “And you really intend to go out in public wearing a red and blue plaid bathrobe?”

I shrugged again, the sound of feathers once more momentarily distracting me. It was just so... alien, and yet familiar. The combination weirded me out. “Mom, think about it. Something that covers you and is still flexible enough to allow you to move on both two and four legs, without leaving anything just hanging out. Robes are going to be the next jeans and t-shirts, mark my words...”

Mom barked out a laugh. “And that you get to run around pretending to be a mighty wizard has nothing to do with it?”

I tapped my horn and flared my wings, grinning at her. “Who's pretending?”

My smile faltered as mom's did, she looked down on her hands. I followed her sight... They were shaking. I took a step forward and gave her another hug. “Mom... I know what the bible has to say about witches...”

Mom started gently sobbing.

“But I made no bargains for this.”

I petted her head, as the sobs slowly stopped. I continued. “He- Heck, I don't know how good a source the Dresden files are, but according to them the ‘Suffer not’ thing is actually a mistranslation.”

“...Really?” Mom said her voice very quiet. I still heard the hope in it, though.

I nodded, still petting her softly. “Originally it was only referencing black magic. Curses and thing, you know? Hel- Heck, early exorcist supposedly called and bound demons to do God's work.”

Mom tensed. “...What do you know about... things like that?”

I sighed. “Mom, you know I'm agnostic. Let's not have that row again. I read it in a book, OK?”

And I very, very carefully didn't mention that that book was The Lesser Key of Solomon...

I felt mom slowly relax. “Sorry,” she said her voice a little hard, but friendly enough it was clear she was trying. I secretly breathed a sigh of relief. “It's just... This is hard for me to understand, OK? I know you’re a good bo- gi- ma-” She stumbled for a while, trying to find the words. I just looked sadly at the hoof resting on her shoulder. “Person.” She finally said with a bit of force, making me smile again. “...I know you'll do the right thing, no matter what temptations are laid on your path... or by Whom.”

I blinked, before resting both hooves on her shoulders and giving her a look at arm’s length. “...You think this is a temptation by the devil.”

My voice was flat, but mother winced, trying not to look me in the eye.

“Me having turned into Fluttershy. Fluttershy.”

Mom swallowed, giving me a quick nod. Looking pale.

I shook my head slowly. “You do know...” I stumbled, almost saying ‘I'm,’ but I corrected myself quickly enough that I don't think she noticed. “...she's supposedly kindness incarnate, right?”

Mom gave me a weak smile. “The Fruit of Knowledge was hardly rotten when offered...”

I sighed, letting my arms drop. “Why a hick in the middle of nowhere? Why not the pope? Or the president? I own a gun-shop! That is hardly a center of power!”

Mom shrugged. “God moves in mysterious ways... Must that not then also hold true, for an adversary that keeps hounding Him?”

I almost pointed out that the idea of ‘The Adversary’ was Christian myth, with almost no basis in the bible...

But I've also have had that row before.

I sighed, putting both hooves on my hips. I sometimes wish I had never read the d- darn bible.

Actually knowing the tales... Nothing kills ones faith quicker.

I probably didn't fit the real definition of an agnostic... but mom would freak if I ever declared myself an atheist and agnostic left place for the existence of God...

Bleeding statues and people speaking in tongues just... seemed even sillier, when you could instead I don't know... do something practical to help?

Having turned into next best thing to a goddess? Not exactly helping me budge from the position.

And don't even get me started on mixed fabrics and...

I sighed. I'd also have had that row before.

And suddenly my mom looked really worried. I decided to throw her a bone. “Would you feel better, if I went to a confession?”

My mom's face went carefully neutral. “...Only if you really want to...”

Which I translated in my head from Mom to English as: “YES!”

I faked a smile... she frowned, clearly not buying it.

She didn't actually step back or anything, but suddenly she felt... distant. “...You don't want to go to church.”

“Mom,” I quickly countered. “I've turned into next best thing to Minnie Mouse, except cuter and less scary. I don't want to go out in public, period. It's just begging to go wrong...” My shoulders and wings sagged, because I can't believe, the idea I just had is a lesser evil. “Can't you just press a cross against me and be done with it?”

Mom suddenly found her feet very interesting, and she started wringing her hands. “...I'm no Abraham. I... can't. Not to you.”

Oh. I sucked in a deep breath as I understood. Mom was having a crisis of faith, a nasty one.

But a part of me soared at the words.

“Look,” I began, knowing I would regret this, but I needed to do this. For mom. “Can we just get going then? This is clearly tearing at you. If me going stops that... then I'll do it.”

Quicker than you can say “What. The. Fuck.” we were somehow in the car.

Hey, don't look at me. I blame freaky mom powers, not available to us lesser (im-) mortals.

I looked down. I even had my seatbelt on.

O-K. “Mom... How?”

“Ah, so you did bang your head when I carried you out.”

I shook my head, noting a slight ringing in my ears. “Never mind...”

I pulled the hood I'd added over my head. It barely hid my horn and muzzle, but at least I looked like a random unicorn trying to stay incognito, rather than the Princesses of Kindness.

Call it a hunch, but I think the paparazzi may be more interested in the later.

Mom was giving me a strange look, though. “What?” I asked her.

“Where did that hood come from? That's a bathrobe.”

I shrugged. “I had freaky good sewing skills in my last life. Even had a knitting dungeon hidden under my house. They're starting to come back.”

“Ha, ha. Very funny,” she said. Clearly not believing me. “Now's not the time to joke.”

For a second, I was tempted to point out that according to what I remembered from the bible, all other animals were made to serve man, the only creature that had been given free will and a soul.

Ergo, if this transformation messed with such thing, it had been too late to save me weeks ago.

...Then I noticed how white her knuckles were on the wheel.

I rolled a natural D20 on my diplomacy skill and shut my damn mouth about it.

I put a hoof under my chin and watched the world roll by instead... Thinking. Just watching the scrubs, the trees and sand of the dessert, role by as we rolled away from the house...

...Trying not to think how inviting that sky looked.

What if I did burst into flame the moment I touched holy ground?

Would that imply that Satan was a brony? Or God, for that matter?

Was hell in fact, cute, pastel colored and strangely obsessed with puns? Did that mean Lauren Faust had brokered a deal for her talent, and in turn, she had to show the light-bringer, her lands and her champions in all their pastel colored (mostly) equine glory?

Since I had turned into one of the mane six, did that make me some manner of archdemon? If so, of what? The Dark Lady of Kindness, Mistress of All Things Fluffy had a nice ironic ring to it...

I nodded thoughtfully to myself. The world is far to fucked up, for hell not to run on irony.

A bird flew beside the car for a moment, strangely interested in me. I gave it a small smile and a wave. It quickly darted off, somehow managing to look somewhat confused.

...So, did that mean that these were the end-times?

...Hmm, according to some stories I've read there were five horsemen originally... Death, Pestilence, War, Famine... and Chaos.

...Granted, that was Pratchett. Not certain if he made that one up or not.

...Still, it would be very chaotic to unleash a plague of magic horses on the world.

But what if I took the ‘logic’ one step further?

What if a sixth had been forgotten as well?

Just which would I be in that case?

Now there's a thought... “Hey, mom?”

“Yes, dear?” she said, absentmindedly and eyes on the road.

“How come it took you this long to drag me to the nearest holy-ground?”

Mom was very silent for a while, so I looked out the window again.

I started humming ‘Silent night’ just to mess with her.

Don't get me wrong, I love my momma... but these little moods of hers irritate me.

A god that does not save them that doesn’t believe in Him or Her, doesn’t deserve worship. One that tortures any who do not bow? Doubly so.

I chuckled softly, my little act of musical rebellion finished. Now that? That had been a row and a half.

“...I prayed,” she said, voice near a whisper. “...It... didn't work.”

I sighed, but kept it internal. If there was an argument that convinced her that the earlier scene in the bathroom had been a moment of weakness and that I was on the whole okay with the changes...

...I couldn't think of one.

The bastard that had caused this whole mess though if I could trust the ‘memories’ that kept popping into my head?

Fuck him.

Sideways.

With a rusty rasp.

I quickly closed my eyes, as I noted the condensation forming on the window. The mirror was enough broken stuff for one day.

Then my stomach gurgled.

...Well, one of them at least. Fuck me if I knew which. Or do horses work like cows in that regard? I don't know a thing about horse anatomy. Magic cartoon pony princesses? I was honestly surprised things went in one way and out the other, to be blunt.

Note to self, Google pony anatomy when I get home. I'm freaking Fluttershy now. I should just know these things...

“Any chance of a potential last meal?” I said, not thinking.

Mom swirled, almost losing control of the car. The belt really not meant for my new frame dug uncomfortably deep into my flesh.

We came to a complete stop, on the side of the empty road.

I'd been so startled I hadn't even had time to swear.

“...What?” Mom near whispered again.

I gave her a careful look. She flinched slightly from it, but only slightly. “Mom, you’re dragging me... Pardon the pun, but lord knows where, to see if holy-ground makes the new me catch on fire... Did it even occur to you what that would mean and do to me, if you got the answer you dread?”

Mom opened her mouth... then she closed it. This cycle continued a few times, before she turned her head and just stared towards infinity.

...So, that's a ‘no’ then...

Tears started dripping from her eyes, but her knuckles whitened again. “I'm... so sorry, but I need to know.”

She jumped slightly, as I leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. The tears stopped immediately. “...What was that for?”

“Love you, mom...” I said, with a smile. “...even if you're completely cray-cray.”

I leaned back, still smiling, as mom harrumphed. But it was a happy harrumph.

“...Any place in particular?”

Huh. Didn't think that would actully work... “Any place with pizza is good in my book.”

Mom hesitated. “...You sure?”

I opened my mouth and showed my teeth... including the small canines. “I'll risk a tummy-ache. I'm not risking not having bacon in what could theoretically be my last meal.”

Mom hesitated, again. “...I thought...” She gulped. “...Fluttershy had a thing for animals?”

Huh, so she has watched the show. I waved a hoof lazily. “One, past life. Two, circle of life. Three, bacon. Four, I love bacon. Five, bacon, bacon, bacon. Six, nature, red in tooth and claw. Seven, bacon. I rest my case.”

Mom snickered, despite herself. “I think I see a pattern...”

I snickered a little myself. “Yeah... Besides, horses eat meat. They just don't hunt for it actively. As long as I don't mash my mouth full of raw beef, I should be fine...”

“...Really?”

“Sure. Sometime they even just...”

“Stop,” she said, placing a hand gently on my muzzle. “I know of your fascination with Animal Planet. I think I prefer not to know, to be honest...”

I leaned back and rolled my eyes, as she removed her hand and restarted the engine. Tell somebody once of the life-circle of the common tapeworm....

It’s not like I came running into the dining room with a mouth full of cold noodles. That was all my brothers’ idea and doing.

I thought came to me. “Mom, can you stop the car?”

“...Why?” She asked, not even lifting her eyes from the road.

I had to hand it to her, New Mexico has its charms... but the view along the roads gets a bit samey after a while. Looong stretches of desert with the odd green patch.

“If we are risking my face on the tabloid anyway...” I took a deep breath, not certain how mom would react. “...Then I'd like to stretch my wings.”

Mom slowly drove of the road, stopped the engine... and then just turned and gave me a look.

“I've been cooped up for two weeks. While being able to fly.” I plainly stated. “If there is a better way to go completely stir crazy, I don't know it.”

Mom's eye drifted to my sides, her jaw tightening.

“I promise not to fly out of sight... I just want to try it, you know?”

Mom tilted her head, hesitation writ large. “...You sure it's safe?”

A grin spread, as it seemed I was getting anywhere. “Like swimming. Just don't go to ‘deep’ and you're golden.”

Mom turned her head, and gave the crystal clear azure sky a look. Gotcha. My wings had been itching at the sight almost the whole trip.

“Please? I need to hide them anyway. Why not let me stretch them first?” I pleaded.

Mom was still hesitating... so I gave her the puppy dog treatment.

That actually made her chuckle. “Well... Somebody has adapted to their ‘magic glowing eyes of doom’ kind of quickly...”

“Please? Do you have any idea what torture it is to learn how to fly... and be restricted to your bedroom?”

Mom blinked. “So that's what dose thumping sounds where...”

I raised an eyebrow, smiling softly. Sure, that had been one of the thumping sounds... “Do I dare ask?”

Mom just shrugged. “Though you were punching the wall in frustration. That you were... learning your...”

I put a hoof on her hand. “Mom, I know this is hard for you. You don't have to finish that sentence.”

She looked up, straight into my eyes. Her own brown ones heavy with worry. “...Promise you'll come back?”

Ah... So that was it. Still, it cost me nothing, so... “Promise...” I reached towards her neck. She grew still, but didn't do anything else. I fished up the silver crucifix she was wearing. Her eyes grew a bit larger, as I placed it in my other hoof. “I swear I'll be back as soon as I hear you call. Good enough?”

For the first time since my transformation, a big smile that actually reached her eyes nearly lit up the inside of the car. “More than enough. You have fun, OK?”

I grinned so wide my cheeks made that strange squeak.

“...But we're still going. I think you need it, no matter the... other stuff.”

I pouted a bit. “Fine...” But then I grinned again. Flying! Who hasn't dreamed?

I frowned as I stepped out, before the pleasure from the warm, dry breeze blow it away...Making my hair billow behind me, and my feathers rustle in a way that sent pleasure tingling through me...

Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly...!

I shiver rushed down my spine, despite the heat. To have something like that ruined by morons...

I actually hadn't gotten that memory back... but the version from the show was bad enough.

I looked at the inviting sky. Never again. This Fluttershy isn't going to run off to the forest and hide as a bucking hermit.

Mom came up to my side, water-bottle in hand. “...What are you waiting for?”

“Just savoring to moment. First proper flight, you know? I want to remember this...”

Mom nodded, before fishing around in her bra for something... Her hand came out with her cellphone. “Isn't much... but I might be able to get a photo or two...”

I coughed into a hoof. “Err... I actually... You know, since it's just you and me...” I pattered off.

Mom just laughed merrily. “Like this would be the first nude photo I have of you! You think that robe will get in the way...” She leaned forward, giving me a hug. “I want you back, you hear? That's the important bit.”

I squeezed back slightly, before backing off.

I took another moment to just... take in, the sky. I could actually see the thermals and airstream, twisting in the air. Some lazy, some near roaring. Driven by the rising heat...

...From the warm, living ground. I dug my hooves down a bit, feeling a connection form, letting me sense things. Beatles, lizards, snakes... The plants. This place was hardly as barren as it looked. It simply slept through the worst of the heat.

...But strangely enough, it was the last part that took my breath away.

Ley-lines.

They were everywhere. Heat from the baking sun twisting towards the heavens in roaring coils... Cold lingering in some of the larger rocks, waiting to be replenished anew by the night... Water from a small spring I simply should not know of, but whose power in the desert made it shine like a sparkling beacon of life and hope...

I simply must find a way to capture this for others to see. It is simply not fair for only me to see it...

I carefully undid the cord holding my robe together, before quickly folding it and putting it on the seat. Mom giggled slightly.

I left the door open. No need to come back to a sauna...

Then I got down on all fours. I wasn't certain how it affected my flight, but I didn't want to take any chances.

Now, going four-wheel drive? Very odd sensation. Like unfolding or unfolding a limb, but I actually felt bones rearrange.

Mom made a strange sound somewhere between a fought-back curse and a whimper. “...That doesn’t hurt?”

I gave her a reassuring smile. “Not a bit. Just feels a bit odd.”

She gave me a slow nod, eyes still a bit wide.

I flared my wings, tensed...

And realized something, making me slap my forehead in annoyance. “Mom, you have a bag or something?”

She tilted her head, but then her eyes lit up in recognition. “Did you even pack your cellphone?”

My eyes wandered over to the freshly cleaned robe, whose pockets I'd emptied before getting into the shower. “...Fuck.”

She held up a hand. “Wait.”

I sat down... only to shoot to my feet again with a yelp. I did not need to know what warm sand felt like against that part of my anatomy.

Mom just giggled, as she darted to the driver’s seat. I heard her rummage through her purse...

She came back around, carrying and fiddling with a wristwatch. “Here,” she said, as she presented it to me. I put it on my arm without hesitation. “I've set it for little more than an hour. I don't think we should be out in this sun longer than that, anyway.”

“Thanks, Mom!” I grinned mischievously. “Now if you e-”

Mom interrupted me and my corny joke. “Gotta fly? Come on, that joke is older than these hills.”

I stuck my tongue out. “Spoilsport.”

She chuckled softly, just making a single gesture towards the oh so inviting sky. I didn't need more encouragement than that.

I tensed, and sprung...

I actually made good air just from the off-blast, I heard mom gasp as I easily reached eight-nine feet straight up from a standing start.

Supernatural powers for the win! As I felt gravity try to reclaim me, I bet my wings once...

And almost panicked, my face twisting into a worried grimace. My wings weren’t doing anything! They were just... slipping through the air!

I quickly beat them again and again... before crashing into the ground with a small “Ump!”

Mom was at my side in an instant. “You alright? What happened?”

I shakingly got to my feet... All four of them. ...and just started laughing.

Mom looked really worried and hugged me, but untensed as soon as I hugged her back.

It took a while, before my giggles died away.

“...So, what happened?” Mom asked.

“...I forgot we have humidifiers back home!” Then I started giggling again.

“...Huh?”

I quickly fought the giggles down and explained that (According to the show, at least.) pegasi and many other Equestrian creatures fly by manipulating the moisture in the air, not air pressure. My wings were too small to do it the other-way...

And this is a dessert.

During the middle of the day.

Thus the sack of bricks impression.

Mom's mouth turned to a little O of understanding... then she just laughed with me.

After a while I let go and got up on two legs again, as I wiped a happy little tear from my eye. “Too bad these dread powers of cuteness doesn't come with a manual, huh?”

Mom tensed slightly at my joke. Oops, too soon, I guess. But she just shrugged and dropped it.

I took that as a sign to hurry over and get dressed. I folded my wings tightly and struggled the robe over me and once I had all my other limbs in their proper places I just smoothed together the Velcro I'd put on the edges of the wing-slits for just such an occasion.

Ta-da. Unicorn!

...Granted, with such an iconic face and color combination as my ow- new one, it would hardly work against anybody with even a passing knowledge of MLP... but better than nothing.

Mom was looking at me oddly again. “When exactly did you do that?”

“When I added the hood, obviously.”

She tilted her head at me. “Since when do you know how to sew so well? I can hardly see them from here.”

I looked her straight in the eye. “The freaky good sewing skills from my past life are starting to come back.”

She opened her mouth once... then just shrugged and got into the car. I followed, buckling my belt. We were soon off again.

“So where are we going?”

“I'll tell you if you please don't sing that damn song...”

That made me blink. “We're going to Albuquerque?!”

I quickly paid more attention to the new compass in my head. Being part bird is awesome, and don't try to tell me and my freaky powers anything else. Yep, we were heading south from Española, not west towards.

I cursed internally. I really should have recognized the way we were heading sooner... I take this road often enough to get between my parents’ home and my shop.

I turned to mom and raised an eyebrow. “Why Albuquerque? Why not...”

My list of suggestions got hushed. “You wanted to stay incognito, right? If we go to our regular church everybody will recognize me and the car, at least. Albuquerque is larger, easier for us to blend in...”

I grumbled a bit, trying to find a flaw in the logic... but couldn't. “Fine, but I want to check the shop if we're adding that much travel time anyway...”

Mom raised her eyebrow as she shot me a glance. “You took your keys, but not your cell?”

I shrugged. “Just an outside look for now then. I haven't been there since... you know. I'd feel better if I knew the place is still standing.”

Mom hummed at me, nodding. “Sure, we can do that.”

I hummed in an affirmative fashion, before amusing myself with another new freaky bird power of mine, by focusing on a single plant and just following it until it fell out of view. I honestly probably don't even need a rifle sight anymore. Why bother when you have closest damn thing to hawk-eyes?

It got boring after a while, so I started calculating trajectories in my head for sniping them instead. I wonder if the whole ‘special talent’ had anything to do with it, but I could almost see the trajectories in the air... despite the movement from the car.

Hmm, have to try that one day. One hell of a trick-shot...

My little destructive streak kept me amused for long enough, that I had to switch of the alarm on the wristwatch.

An idea came to me. “So, mom?”

“Yes?”

“Could we take one of the roads along the Rio on the way home?”

“A bit tired of seeing the desert?”

I shrugged, my wings twitching against the fabric of my robe. “That too. But mostly I want a do over. Should be a bit more moisture in the air near the river...”

“...You’re very insistent on this...” Mom said carefully.

“I've been cooped up to long. I just want to stretch them a bit before going back home. That little sack of bricks impression just made the itch in them worse.”

Mom hesitated again. I sighed. “Mom, I have no intention to fly cackling evilly into the sunset. I just want to scratch this darn itch in them. I know this is hard for you, but think of it like this...”

Mom remained silent and focused on the road, but I almost felt her focus on me. “Would you even hesitate if I asked to stretch my legs?”

“Of course not.”

“You do realize that means all four of them at the moment, yes?”

Mom sat up a bit more rigidly. Gotcha. “I haven't tried it yet, but I should be able to reach a gallop... It may be ground-bound, but almost as hard to catch up with... meaning you'd have to trust me just as much then. Just saying.”

I felt a bit guilty as her shoulders sagged a bit, but I had to say it.

Then she surprised me, by sitting up straight again. She turned slightly, twinkle in her eye. “Wanna try it?”

I blinked, scratching my shin. “...I must admit, that sounds interesting... But is it really wise along the freeway?”

Mom shrugged. “This... pony business is keeping folks mostly indoors for now. I haven't seen a single other car, have you? I don't mind risking it, if you don't...”

I was really damn tempted for a couple of moments... before shaking my head. All it took for disaster to strike would be another driver being so distracted by the sight of me, that they’d just drive straight of the road. I just couldn't risk it in good conscience. “Nah,” I said with genuine happiness, as I flashed mom a squeaky smile. “But thank so much for offering. Means a lot to me.”

Mom chuckled, eyes once again on the road. “De nada... but why do your cheeks do that sound?”

I shrugged. “I think it’s another pony equivalent of blushing? You know? Shows others of the ‘tribe’ you really mean it, but with smiles instead of awkwardness and arousal? Something like that.”

“It’s adorable.”

My cheeks caught fire, as another squeak sounded through the car. Mom just laughed at the sight.

We drove in silence for a while, before mom sucked in a breath. “Got it.”

“Hmm?”

She pointed to a sign. It flashed past quickly, but I had time to read “Caronado State Monument” before losing sight of it. Mom continued. “The parking-lot is just a couple of stone throws from the river. How about there?”

I nodded. I remembered the place from a school trip. Ruins and a few artifacts in a visitors building. I'd found it duller than dirt at the time...

But now? Something about the thought of learning more about my human heritage and history sounded... right.

I didn't want to lose that part of me.

I hummed softly, once more lost to the world in thought.

I may have a few fuzzy memories of my time as her... but I was hardly the skittish little mare from them...

I shivered. Always afraid of being judged. That aspect from them had been... granted, something I saw coming, but a nasty shock, nonetheless.

Honestly...

A nice house... but at the edge of monster central.

A decently enough work... before Ascension. Brrr! No wonder I had an almost pathological fear of fucking paperwork! Being a princess was hard and boring, most of the time.

I tilted my head, still humming. Granted, the luxury and respect was a nice perk... but frankly not worth the constant attention and obligations.

I was glad ‘old’ me had had grown enough of a spine to put her hoof down with Celestia on that, at least.

“You ascended me for my work with the EverFree. Leave the bucking court intrigue to Rarity! She thrives on the darn stuff! ….Err, if-that's-alright-with-you...”

I shook my head, clearing it. Quoting yourself and only half remembering it felt weird.

...Wonder what did happen to her? I still remembered how cold I'd felt seeing the season finale... The giant demon-monster-thing threatening Equestria, Discord's betrayal, how I- I mean Fluttershy had pleaded with Discord to bring her friends back, or failing that, to do the same to her...

I held up a canary yellow hoof in the light, studding it. I kind of got my reaction of hiding behind the couch better now. I let it drop in my lap.

Speaking of friends...

A list of names and faces flashed through my mind. I'd never met any of them... and yet...

A part of me ached with longing, as I recalled them anyway...

Rarity. Princesses of Generosity... and the Alpha of Alphas for the diamond dogs.

Kind, generous, fabulous Rarity...

We'd all been so shocked when she went back to the diamond dogs... but that had been nothing towhen she told us she had bucked the leaders in the face to make them accept her authority. “Well, darlings...” she had said when we asked why... “...I just couldn't stop thinking how awful conditions where in that place. Half of them didn't seem to know how to bathe, for Harmony's sake! ...So I did something about it. Seemed worth the try...”

And then she'd spent nearly a year doing it to pack after pack... Heck, quite a lot had seen where the wind was blowing and sworn fealty to her anyway.

There had been lots of nasty, nasty rumors... but the longer time went on and it became clearer she really was trying to carve a civilized place for them...

Granted, the throne of gems in Carousel Boutique had probably not helped... But details.

Celestia had ascended her on the spot when it had become clear to her, that Rarity had turned one of the most stubborn irritations for Equestrian society to citizens. I smiled softly at the memory. She'd been so happy to be able to fly again, of all things, that she hadn't touched the ground for days afterward...

...I hope the ‘alliance’ holds in her absence. Things were rolling along so smoothly, it would be a shame for something with such promise to fall apart just over this...

...And how had things happened when Discord came for her? Fido and Spot barely left her side, self-proclaimed ‘body-guards of the Alpha’ as they called themselves... I simply can’t imagine them or Rarity just having folded...

Twilight. Twilight Sparkle. The Princesses of Magic.

Always studying, always reading... A smile came to me. Our cute little egghead...

The first of us rewarded... and she'd bucking earned it. The effects had been horrible, even from the glimpses of the first miscast I could remember... but a spell that allows you to buck fate right in the face? Even with the work half-finished, it was a deed worthy of song.

My smile fell. And the first to fall to Discord's plan... for me. She hadn't even gotten a chance to throw a book at him from what I heard. He just... stabbed her in the back with the curse.

But what had happened to cute little Spike? He'd been given the role as Ponyville librarian, if I could trust the fragments of memory and the show... Had he had time to flee? Discord hadn't mentioned him...

I shook my head. No matter. He was either here on Earth, going through similar changes as I had... or back in Equestria. Either way, beyond my help at the moment. I wished him and my other friends luck, however. For all I know, they may need it...

Dash. Rainbow Dash. Element of Loyalty. Captain of the Wonderbolts!

Energetic Dash... Always in such a hurry everywhere...

The first pegasus in generations capable of the Sonic Rainboom. To fly so fast she broke the sound-barrier with only the wings on her back... Something even Celestia and Luna found somewhat draining.

The last of us that had left to ascend... but hardy the least among us. And considering the type of lives we all seemed to be living I frankly thought it only a matter of time, before she did get ascended.

She had been just returning from a tour with them, when Discord... did his thing. Had she been missed? I almost hoped not. For Dashie to be the last left? I... honestly could not think of a worse fate for her.

Pinky. Pinkamena Diane Pie. Princesses of Laughter...

I just had to smile, as I could almost hear her add “And parties! Never, ever, ever forget them!”

Sweet, happy Pinky... Always with a smile and a joke.

...Still have no idea what was up with all those strange powers of hers, come to think about it. Oh well...

...Still, they allowed her to get to Canterlot quickly enough to get help, when the gates of Tartarus broke. Even Twilight couldn't have done that quickly enough, and yet... She'd just... dived through the nearest mirror, popping out near instantly with Celestia, Luna and... Discord. All three looking baffled, before she fainted from overexerting herself...

The battle had turned quite one-sided, after that... Three beings as close to godhood I've ever met and the rest of the Elements saw to that...

I smirked softly to myself. Wonder how mom would react to knowing I literally fought demons in my last life? Somewhere between wonder and horror, I'd imagine...

...And judging from how Discord had been still been shaking streamers and cake from his fur when he told me his ‘brilliant’ plan... she'd fought hard, before falling.

...Wonder what she is doing now? The others, sure... But Pinky in a normal profession? ...Granted, she had the whole baker thing going... But my imagination failed me, trying to picture her as say... an accountant, or something.

Rodeo clown, daredevil or international man/women of mystery, sure... but accountant? The picture simply wouldn’t form in my head.

Applejack. Princess of Honesty.

Proud, honest Applejack...

I chuckled softly. ...And the Eternal Matron of the Apples, as some had started calling her, to her chagrin.

...But then again, she did save Manehattan almost single ‘hoofily...’ That kind of thing gives you something of a reputation.

He he he... “Now wait one gosh darn minute. I may have saved Manehattan from that cloud of parasprites by playing that fiddle until I nearly dropped, but there's no bucking way that... that... that... Oh dear, that was kinda impressive... But still! There's no bucking way that was princesses impressive, your Highnesses... So there!”

I grinned happily at the memory. We had her in a crown and dress before the day was over. She grumbled all the way to Canterlot...

I glanced at the clear sky, picturing myself and the others flying side by side again... The thought almost broke my heart.

I hummed softly. Speaking of former problems and ascensions... I wonder how Rex is doing without his mommy...

Or Angel for that matter.

I shrugged, internally as to not worry mom. Meh, I'm sure they miss me as much as I miss them both, but they're also both two grown entities of dark and horrible, ancient power... I'm sure they can take care of themselves.

I cracked my fetlocks. And if they've gone out of line, momma is just going to have to spank them both when she gets back. I most certainly intend to do so to Discord if I ever get the chance...

I rested my head against my chin again, after tugging the hood down again. We were getting closer to civilization, and I didn't want to end up on any front-pages if I could help it.

...When I get back. Now there's not only a thought, but a problem and a half...

I glanced over to mom. She was calmer then we left, but the worry lines in her face were still a bit deeper than normal.

...Did I even want to go back? Sure, on one hand I had obligations back there...

I chuckled darkly, making mom shot me a worried glance.

...but on the other I also had obligations back there.

...I didn't really like it, but if I was honest with myself, then in my heart of hearts I knew...

That the answer was no. Hell no, even.

What exactly did I have to get back to there? Everypony I'd ever known, two decades and change older, no way of knowing how many of them dead and gone or here already, for all I knew.

...And few of my animal-friends would be left after this long. Mr. Bear... perhaps, but he was the only one I could think off.

No lover, no family (on that side) I cared to name left...

Even my house must be rotted to its foundations by now.

Just two animal-friends that might be better off if they have to leave the nest...

And a crown.

That had felt too heavy the first time I wore it.

I made my decision. The position had been for life... and that was in my last life. I had clearly fulfilled any such... obligations, by dying on my post trying to reason with Discord. That was the end and beginning off it.

If Celestia or Luna shows up and want to mess with me about it...

Then I'll just get one of my shotguns and shot rock-salt up their nostrils. Should show them exactly what I think about getting back on ‘my’ post.

A tension I had barely noticed since these... flashbacks had begun just lifted from my back. How easy some problems becomes, if you only stop and think them over...

Just as I reached my epiphany, we drove in on the parking lot of a church. One off those old fashioned ones that actually look the part, but I didn't recognize it and frankly didn't care much.

This was for my mother’s peace of mind, not mine. I just wanted to get going...

“What of my pizza?” I asked.

Mom made a neutral grunting sound, as she stepped out of the car.

I followed, making sure my face and wings were covered. I looked down. Even if the hooves poking out didn't give it away, the various ‘lumps’ and curves under the robe were clearly not human in origin.

I half expected somebody to shout “Demon! Run!” but I only got a few curious glances. I guess a city this size had seen one or two ponies already by now. That suited me fine. I didn't quite dare fold my hood down, but a promising start, at least.

I turned to mom, my hind-hooves making loud clopping noises when I walked over the asphalt. “Seriously, I don't want to sound like a broken record... But considering the whole potential last meal thing...”

Mom just let out a deep, long suffering, sigh. “Please? For me?”

I let out a sigh of my own, throwing my arms to the heavens in frustration. “Fine! But you owe me a meat-lovers special for this. Especially if I turn out to be a adorable hell-spawn.”

Mom raised an eyebrow, her expression somewhere in-between amused and bemused.

I pointed accusingly at her. “And a big coke and a dessert.”

Mom just chuckled, as she led the way. “Sure, sweetie.”

I leaned backwards and cracked my back. I noticed with wry amusement that how my new assets strained against the fabric of my robe, had caught a few wandering eyes...

Takes all sorts, to make a world... I thought in amusement, as I hurried after mom. I could have done better time by getting down on all fours... but I didn't want my ‘hands’ to get dirty. No telling what kind of stuff had been here, not in the middle of a city with almost a million inhabitants. I could be walking through a murder scene for all I knew.

Getting that kind of crap on the same appendages you eat with simply wasn't worth a few extra seconds. Besides, I'd practiced hard on relearning the whole biped thing. I had no intentions of wasting that work.

I skipped up the steps to the gate and beyond, pausing only a few moments to let my eyes adjust.

Yeah. I was really worried, alright...

Author's Note

Just to avoid a hundred and one comments about it.

Horses only have one stomach.

It's just meant to show that "New" Fluttershy doesn't have all the knowledge or skills of the "Old."