Rage of the Cage

by priest of cage

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Human, Sad, Romance
Length: 651

While Spiderman is planning to destroy Equestria, Nicolas Cage teams up with Doctor Whooves to stop him

While saving Equestria from Spiderman, Nicolas Cage discovers the true meaning of love

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-27 19:12:03 UTC

Pon-Air

“I must introduce you to the team “, said Whooves. Nicolas Cage stood there, still suffering because his boner was too hard, as three ponies and a human entered the room by a door on the side. The Doctor indicated a yellow pony with a grey mane. “This is Daring Do, the greatest adventurer ever. She once even explored Tom Cruise’s anal cave.” “Incredible!”, said Cage. Pointing at apink pony, Whooves then said “This is Shimmer Mint, the most fuckable pussy in the Universe.” Now pointing at a pony with a turban, he stated “This is Osama Bin Ballin, the most idiotic terrorist in the world. And this…”, he turned his head to the man, “Is spy, the most butthurt faggot on earth. Always trying to fuck Daring, he can turn invisible and wear paper masks that serve no purpose whatsoever.” Nicolas Cage was still confused. Whooves added “We are the P team and our job is to… SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “Save the world? From what?” Nicolas said. The Doctor just told him “Oh, you’ll see.”

National Treasure

« But what’s my role in this? Why me?” Nicolas said. “Because you are the Chosen One” said Shimmer. “Just like the gods gave power to my vagina, it appears that they gave your dick a special talent, talent that we could use.” “I still don’t get it” declared Cage. “Follow me” said Whooves. “It’s time you get proper answers. By the way, I still don’t know your name.” “It’s Cage, Nicolas Cage.” “Very well Mr. Cage, or should I call you Nicolas?” “You can call me whatever you want” said Cage, winking at the Doctor. The two intensely stared at each other. The bond that united them could only have been produced by a hand in an anus. Sensing the sexual tension rising, Daring said “Pull up your pants and follow us.” Both the Doctor and Nicolas Cage snapped out from their horny states. Nic pulled up his pants and agreed to follow, even though he didn’t know anything about the group more than their names. When Whooves opened the TARDIS door, Nicolas was amazed. Not only were they not at the farm, but they also seemed to be on another planet. Ponies, ponies flying and walking everywhere. Talking ponies too. Some were blue, orange or even pink. He thought that the Doctor, Daring, Shimmer and Osama were only the result of his crystal meth overdose the day before, so he just played along. But now he saw that it was all real.

Rage of the Cage

Nicolas Cage was lonely, very lonely. So lonely that he could put a wig on his weewee and pretend it's a dude. One day, he went to a farm. There, he saw a pony with an hourglass on its flank. He tried to get its attention by inserting his fist into the pony's asshole. The pony got startled and kicked Cage in the nuts. It then ran. However, Nic's hand was still stuck in its butt and, therefore, was dragging the Cage around. He then got into a blue police box that was behind the barn. "Oh boy!", said Cage, “It’s bigger on the inside”. “Take your hand out of my anus now or you will regret it!”, said the pony. Nicolas laughed. The animal then kicked Cage, projecting him against the wall. “Now, time for your punishment!”, it said. The pony bit Nicolas’ wiener and threw it away. However, the penis grew back, just like a lizard’s tail. “Oh my God!”, said the pony, “You must be the Chosen One!”. Nicolas just stood there confused, his new dick fully erected. “I am Doctor Whooves, and this is my TARDIS. It stands for The Anuses Run Deliberately In Space”. With Cage still staring at him, he added “I am a time traveler from Equestria. Stay here and everything will be explained.”