Pinkie's Surprise

“Remind me, why do you need me at Sugarcube Corner Pinkie?”  Twilight asked as she trotted alongside her friend.  The lively mare had shown up at her library minutes ago without any advance warning.  She had been babbling on about needing Twilight and a very special surprise for her at Sugarcube Corner, and then ran off, leaving a very confused unicorn chasing her.

Much to Twilight’s chagrin, Pinkie just giggled.  “Silly Twilight, I can’t tell you now, that would ruin the point of a surprise!  I thought a smarty pants like you would understand that!”  The earth pony continued to bounce down the road happily.

Twilight merely huffed and continued following.  Two years in Ponyville and she still failed to grasp any of Pinkie’s logic or antics.  However, two years in Ponyville had taught her early on it was much better to just accept it and move on.  Most days it wasn’t a problem, but at times it did nothing but aggravate her, specifically when she was interrupted in the middle of an important experiment regarding the potency of dragon fire versus natural fire.  Her initial results were rather poor, but then again, the only dragon fire she could test was that of a baby dragon.  Perhaps it was for the best she got out of the lab a little bit.

Slightly relaxed by the conclusion, she loosened up, nodding a greeting to Roseluck as they walked (and bounced) past her.  The mare waved at the pair in return before returning to her flowers.  From Twilight’s view they looked exceptional by normal standards, but she didn’t doubt Roseluck worried over them being subpar.  The florist was as particular about her crop as Rarity was with her dresses; it must be professional pride in both their cases.

“Almost there Twilight!  Then you can see the super special surprise I have for you!”  Pinkie finished with another giggle, but this was different from her normal laughter.  This had a curious, almost ominous edge to it which put Twilight illogically on edge.  This was Pinkie Pie she was talking about after all, the pony who went out of her way to make everypony feel wanted and special.  Why would Twilight ever feel suspicious of her?

Still, the feeling was strong enough to prompt the unicorn to ask, “Uh, is everything ok Pinkie?  You sounded a little… strange for a minute.”

“Oh of course Twilight!  I’m absolutely fine, why wouldn’t I be?  But thanks for asking anyways!”  She continued to bounce merrily.  Suspicion tugged at Twilight’s mind though, causing her to walk past a gray pegasus waving at her.

Suddenly Pinkie whirled to look the studious mare straight in the eye.  “I just got a ticklish feeling on the back of my neck which means somepony is being suspicious!  Is it you Twilight?”

Startled, Twilight froze and didn’t think before asking, “Your Pinkie Sense can tell you if somepony is being suspicious?”  All thoughts of suspicion were eclipsed by the latest development in Pinkie’s inexplicable sixth sense.  If this was true, it could mean her friend could very nearly read ponies’ minds.  That possibility scared her.

All confrontation disappeared from the party pony’s countenance as she began to bounce in place and smile.  “Yep!  That’s how I can tell if somepony knows about a surprise party I’m throwing!”  As quickly as before, the suspicion was back and she immediately stopped in place, invading her friend’s personal space once more.  “And my Pinkie Sense tells me YOU’RE being suspicious!  Why would you be suspicious Twilight?”

Stuttering for a moment, Twilight finally regained control of her faculties.  Deciding honesty would serve her best, she confessed, “Well, you were acting a little weird whenever you talked about my ‘surprise.’  It put me just a little bit on edge.”

The other mare perked back up.  “Oh that’s silly Twilight!  Why would you ever be worried about your surprise?  It isn’t like your number came up or anything!”  She clapped her hooves over her mouth as soon as she said these last words.  “Oh hayseed!  Caleb told me not to reference any other stories!”

Twilight was more confused at these words than most of what her friend said, but she shook her head and decided not to ask.  “All right Pinkie, that’s all.  Thanks for being honest with me.”

“No worries Twilight!  I would never want a friend to worry about something as silly as their surprise.  That’s almost as silly as worrying over what cupcake to have!”

The pair rounded a final corner and their destination came into view.  The baked goods and sweets center of Ponyville, Sugarcube Corner was uncharacteristically unoccupied.  Instead of the typical ponies coming in and out, there was only a lone stallion exiting the store with a small bag held aloft by his magic, probably getting a snack during his break.

Pinkie bounced up to the entrance and beckoned for her friend to follow.  “Come on Twilight!  The fun awaits!”  The unicorn mildly increased her speed for the last few feet and entered behind her friend.  Inside the shop was no better in terms of population- not a single pony was in sight other than herself and Pinkie, not even Mr. or Mrs. Cake.  Try as she might, Twilight couldn’t stop the lurking suspicion in her mind at these unusual circumstances.

Suddenly Twilight realized that not even Pinkie was in sight.  “Uh… Pinkie?  Where did you go?”  She looked around only to confirm her normally impossible to miss friend was nowhere to be found.  “Pinkie?”

From the left up a flight of stairs came a giggle.  “Up heeeere Twilight!”

The unicorn looked warily up the stairs.  After about five steps they turned sharply, blocking whatever lay beyond from view.  The curve was also doused in shadows incongruous with the bright, cheery sweet shop.  Against her instincts, who begged her not to go any further, she started slowly up the flight of stairs.  It was Pinkie after all; she wouldn’t hurt her, right?

At the top of the stairs was a singular door, which stood partly open.  Horn glowing slightly, Twilight eased the portal open all the way revealing Pinkie’s room.  Even after two years as close friends, Twilight realized she had never been inside her friend’s room.  It wasn’t particularly noteworthy; just what you’d expect from a mare like Pinkie, but that wasn’t the point.  The prickly feeling Twilight had been getting ever since  entering Sugarcube Corner remained, but she wasn’t sure if it was her mind playing tricks on her or not.  “P-Pinkie?  Where did you go?”

Unseen by the studious unicorn, a pink mare approached her from behind, an evil grin on her face and a strange object held in one hoof.

“Riiiiiiiiight heeere Twilight.  And I’ve got your surpriiiiise!”  Twilight’s pupils shrunk as she felt a… weird… thing enter her from behind-

*Somewhere across the fabric of realities*

“NO! IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA H. FAUST, NO!”  Twilight slammed a hoof on the table beside her computer, sending a glass of water flying across the room.  Her screen displayed the latest story she had come across, though it quickly disappeared as she returned to the home page, though she did not stop shouting.

“WHY IS IT I CAN’T GO ON ANY WEBSITE, NO, CAN’T GO ON THE EQUESTRIANET AT ALL WITHOUT SOME STUPID SEX STORY OF ME AND MY FRIENDS?”  She buried her face in her hooves, thoroughly exasperated almost beyond words.

Almost.

“AUGHHH!”  She got up for her desk, trotting briskly into the kitchen of her library, ranting as she went.  “WHY DO AUTHORS EVEN GET THESE IDEAS?  NEITHER ME OR ANY OF MY FRIENDS HAVE DISPLAYED ANY LESBIAN TENDENCIES, IN FACT I KNOW THAT MOST OF THEM HAVE A CRUSH ON ONE STALLION OR ANOTHER!”

She opened her fridge and pantry with her magic while she continued to yell, evidently pushed past the point of caring who heard her.  “ALL I WANT IS TO NOT GO OUT TO TOWN WITH THE WORRY THAT SOMEPONY IS GOING TO SEE ONE OF THOSE ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS STORIES AND MAKE ME THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE TOWN!  OF EQUESTRIA!”

The rage-driven mare started to pour herself a glass of orange juice, then reconsidered and took out a bottle of Apple Family cider given to her by Applejack a few months back on her birthday.  “ I DON’T EVEN WANT TO THINK OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF ONE OF MY FRIENDS WERE TO FIND THESE STORIES!  I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO LOOK AT THEM ANYMORE!”

Much-needed drink in hoof, Twilight wearily sat back down in front of her computer.  After a long minute of cooling down and drinking, her voice dropped down to normal levels. “I… I suppose it’s not my place to judge these authors.  It’s their choice of what they write; it’s not doing any REAL damage.”  She sighed long and heavy.  “I’ll just do my best to avoid any more of this type of thing.

She returned to the site, eye catching a link near the bottom.  She was impressed- this one story had gotten more attention any other she had come across.  “What is this… ‘Cupcakes?’  Well sounds harmless enough… Let’s give it a chance!”  Perking back up, she clicked on the link.