The United States Invades Equestria.

by SecretPerson

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Comedy
Length: 1073

The United States starts a war with-I mean does a "preemptive strike" against Equestria. The fallout is inevitably devastating.

*Static*

"We have just received word the President has signed off with the orders to launch a random attack-I mean preemptive strike against the Royalist nation of Equestria. This comes after multiple reports over the last few weeks of The dictator, Princess Celestia, using small amounts of undefined chemical weapons against their citizens.
Dictator Celestia had released a statement earlier today that the "chemical weapons" were just pesticides to ward off the emerald ash bore. However, President Obama has taken word from John McCain that she is probably lying, and has issued an executive order to begin invading, I mean "bringing about the love of democracy" Equestria."
*Click*
_____________________________________________________________________

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-02 17:40:03 UTC

Oh dear...

The Old antenna TV clicked off as Princes Celestia leaned back, thinking about what it just told here. Luna sat next to her, rubbing her own chin thoughtfully.

"Oh dear..." Said Princess Celestia to herself.

Luna turned to her, "It appears the Earth Humans have declared war with us, but we cannot figure out why..."

Princess Celestia sighed and replied, "I think they are run by just a few in their media and in power. Perhaps some have malicious intentions in mind, but many appear to be too ignorant to see the irony in the idea of spreading democracy and freedom by blowing things up and taking over."

Luna looked out the window, and asked "Do you suppose we should ready our forces to push back what military they come with?"

Princess Celestia walked up beside Luna, "I have a better idea, it is time Twilight learned her own in multi-national negotiations. Besides, we know how they get here, that large portal at the other side of the Everfree forest, so if they cause too much trouble or Twilight fails, I can always plug it up with the moon."

Luna smirked, "You always have the best ideas sister."

"I know, I know." Replied Celestia.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

"What is troubling you Princess?" Asked Twilight as she followed Princess Celestia down the hallway to the Elements of Harmony.

"We have received word that an attack from the United States is imminent." Replied Celestia.

Twilight gasped, "You mean the empire in the other world, with the most powerful military in their world?!"

Princess Celestia nodded in reply.

"But why would they attack us? We haven't had time since discovery of the gateway to make a reputation with them!" Asked Twilight in slight panic.

Princess Celestia opened the vault to the Elements of harmony, and replied to Twilight "Calm down, your a princess now, you need to keep a good posture in all situations."

Twilight quickly responded "But Were practically under imminent invasion by an alien force with much more advanced technology!" Twilight then took a few deep breathes, "I guess I should calm down, you probably have a plan, right?"

Princess Celestia nodded, "I need you to take your friends to the Earth, and negotiate with the United States. I will stay here and prepare our back up, while attempting to slow their advances."

Twilight thought for a moment, "Alright, But what if they just arrest me?"

"Oh, Discord has hooked us up with a defector that can help you stay low while appealing to the United States public... but I will give you the element of harmony for emergencies." Replied Celestia.

Twilight nodded, "Alright, I will do my best Princess!"

Princess Celestia nodded, and twilight flew out to ponyville. Then, she strolled back to her own courters, and began watching American television again.

"Oh Drew Carey, you so funny..." said Princess Celestia to the TV

_________________________________________In The Bermuda Triangle_____________________________________

Many helicopters and Navy ships were speeding towards the middle of the Bermuda triangle, were the Portal to Equestria lay. Though, soldiors had mixed feelings about going somewhere they new little about. However, the invasion was to proceed as planned.

The Military came up to a large rainbow arch, spreading a mile wide, and 3 miles high. through it lied the beaches of Equestria's Everfree forest. a huge amount of warships was set around this portal gateway, to the point there was about 10 feet between each warship, and many helicopters flew around the gate.

Inside the flagship, the Navy Admiral sat infront of a scetch of Equestria. It was basically a big crayon blob, with arrows pointing eveyr which way saying "Cloudsdale here", and "Fillydelphia there".

"You call this a map? It hardly has anything to go by!" Said the Admiral, as he was right.

"Were sorry, our best sorce for this information was 8 years old." said an intern.

"What about the bronies?" asked the admiral.

"Silly admiral, bronies don't have brains." replied the intern.

"Oh yeah." remarked the admiral.

Suddenly, a holocron message appeared over the table, as Obama in a jedi-style cloak stood there.

"Proceed with order six six SIIIIIIIIIX!" Said Obama.

The Admiral stared for a second, "I'm getting the feeling we may not be doing the right thing... considering we HAVE an order 666..."

"Just do it!" Harped Obama, "Besides, Bush had order 8675309, so I wanted to use something that was a better reference!"

"Riggggghhhht..." said the Admiral, as he pushed the big blue button with a smiley face, that activates war.

Suddenly, multiple carrier helicopter and hover boat speed through that gateway and onto Equestrian beaches. The first boots hit ground as Helicopter flew over towards Ponyville. In short time, troops marched their way through the forest, until they eventually reached Ponyville. Then right there, they saw their enemy...

The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat 20 feet away staring in awe at the massive military of troops, tanks, trucks, and Helicopters of all kinds. The Soldiors looked at each other in confusion, as Scootaloo stoop up.

"OH MY GOSH! You guys look AWESOME!!!!"

The Platoon of troops stood there staring in confusion, as they looked at each other, and back to the little ponies.

"Did that pony just talk?" Asked a soldior to his sergeant.

"I think it did..." responded the sergeant.

Suddenly Scootaloo ran up to the sergeant of the front platoon, "Who re you guys! What is that?! Can I have one?!?!"

Suddenly, the troops turned to see the other two, Applebloom and Sweetiebelle jumping on a tanked that just rolled in, as Scootaloo readily joined them.

"This thing is fun! Just wait till Fluttershy sees it!" said Applebloom.

Suddenly the trio cheered "Cutie Mark Crusaders, giant machine tamers!!!"

"Should we, shoot them?" asked a soldior.

"I'm not shooting something that adorable!" replied another.

"But what if they are spies?" said the Sergeant.

Suddenly, they heard a very loud, very high pitched scream from the cottage, as a yellow pegasus with a pink main flew out.

"GIRLS! Get away from that thing! It's probably dangerous!" Screamed Fluttershy.

"But Fluttershy, it's fun!" Complained Scootaloo.

"No but's! GEt in here while I send a letter to Princess Celestia!" Harked Fluttershy.

The trio of fillies groaned, and followed Fluttershy inside the cottage. MEanwhile, the entire invasion was put at a standstill, as someone forgot to tell the soldiors what they were supposed to do when they got there.