White Rabbit Object

Chapters

Excedrin Headache
Weirdo from Another Planet
Where's the Beef?
Scientific Progress Goes "Boink"
Where the Wild Things Are
The Days Are Just Packed
Something Under the Bed Is Drooling
There's No Place Like 127.0.0.1!

Excedrin Headache

My mother always told me there'd be days like these. Damn it all if she wasn't right…

It was stuck. The fucking blade was six inches into some Burmese officer and the damn thing would not remove itself from its former owner. Cheap steel… General Moexatl though, Bullets don't work on T.A.C., so these third world despots starting arming their troops with swords and machetes. Never anythin' quality, though, no. Always… this… cheap… SHIT! He had been wrestling with this weapon for twenty minutes or so; beyond exhausted, his mood worsening with each passing second, all he wanted at this moment was remove the highly decorative rapier from the officer's corpse. The third rate steel of the blade had caught on the six and seventh ribs; it must have chipped its edge on the way in.

He tugged on the blade for a minute more, not wanting to pull his full strength into it. That would snap the blade and make all this effort useless. One more good pull. That should get it free. Taking both hands to the hilt of the weapon, General Moexatl pulled… and pulled… It was coming free, the damned thing was coming free…

-SNAP!-

He landed on his ass hard, three quarters of the rapier still clutched in his hands. Frustration washed over him and bellowed to non one in particular. He needed that; it was cathartic, like punching into a pillow when you're mad. Using every vulgar word he ever heard or said in his lifetime, he staggered back to his feet. Once standing, he examined the pitiful excuse for a sword he now held. Futile… absolutely fuckin' futile… Why did I even bother? He shook his head, pitching the rapier off to the side where it sank two inches into the ground next the officer's unseeing head.

He brushed his backside clear of dirt. The broken sword was the clincher in an otherwise god-awful day. The fighting began just before dawn, with the Burmese army trying to smite any and all with reach, steel in hand. (Since the advent of Tactical Armored Carapace and ray shielding, most armies were issuing melee weapons and making an emphasis on martial arts and close quarters combat.) The only saving grace for the General and his troops was that Burma had not seen to equip their own soldiers with directed energy or LIMBPAW† firearms. It was pretty pitiful, though, to watch one of the Burmese militia men unload a full magazine from his Kalashnikov, with not one bullet ever penetrating his opponents armor.

Still, the stink of sweat and blood was everywhere; it made Ana'Ra woozy. He had his fill of embarrassment today and fainting on the battlefield was not his idea of good times. Fuck it, I'm going back to bed. Flicking his head slightly left, he opened his Communication Suite and sought the common channel. Upon finding it, he keyed it wide and issued his last order of the day.

"Wolf Pack, this is Alpha Wolf. Commence mop up. Find and extract any VIPs; evac wounded to nearest MASH as needed. Alpha is now twenty-two-twenty. Anyone who tries to wake me up is getting a boot in their ass. Alpha Wolf, out."

Ana'Ra clicks his Comm Suite off, but not before the channel burst with wild protests. You would swear they couldn't get along without me. At the moment, he didn't care. He wanted- needed sleep. Rank had its privileges and he was invoking his.

He flagged down a passing troop transit and hitched a ride back towards Forward Operations Base. His adjunct, Lieutenant Fiona Shive, greets him as he enters camp and warns him that the media is coming. He informs her of what they can do with themselves, eliciting a giggle from his camp-de-aide. He knew he would catch Hell from Five Sides, he even expected it. He couldn't care less. What really mattered to him were the two little girls waiting for him back home in Dallas. He missed them and the longing made itself a physical ache no pain reliever could cure. They did have Abigail, their au pair, but this did little to appease Ana'Ra's conscious.

Six years to the date, he watched as his wife and the mother of his two daughters died of pancreatic cancer. He caught lucky, if you could call it luck, that he was on furlough when she died. He was able to hold Claudia, then 3, and Lydia, not quite 2, while their mother slipped off this mortal coil. He always considered himself fortunate that someone as beautiful as Natalie McCormick, intelligent, vibrant, and outgoing, would even look at someone like him, a vulgar, cynical, and care-worn shell of a man. Luckier still was he when she gave birth to their two daughters. Both were as warm and beautiful as their mother, even if they had their father's hair and eyes.

It was just after six o'clock in the evening on a Sunday in Myanmar, then it couldn't be later than 7 in the morning Saturday in Texas, if his math was right. It wasn't normally; math was never Ana'Ra's forte. He was going to try anyway. Some creature comfort would ease his soul as this "police action" slowly becomes more and more like an actual war. Upon reaching his tent, he kicked off his boots. The carbon-silica and other exotic compound-plated footwear landed with a dull thud amongst the brick-a-brack of General Moexatl's home-away-from-home. His gear was the way he left it when the shooting started: his Macbook Pro was in hibernate, still plugged into a plasma generator, sitting atop stacked ammo crates. A heat lamp was arming his cot; his pillow and microfiber fleece were hot to the touch. A spare uniform, nano-driver multitools, and parts for a sniper rifle were covering a bedside table. His favorite camp chair was empty but for a stuffed toy bear.

He plopped heavily onto his cot, his body aching from lack of sleep and jet lag. It was cool this morning, and the evening was getting just as cold. Even with compression and Thermal gear on, Ana'Ra felt the chill seeping into his every pore. A Sunshine Belt kid, the cold was highly uncomfortable to him. He didn't dare take off his socks. Instead, he wrapped his hands in his microflber fleece, pulled the crates of ammo closer and opened his Macbook. He pressed the power button to kick it on and the familiar Apple logo sprang up on his screen. Soon, he was looking at his desktop, with all his most used apps and folders still resting in the ObjectDock.

He clicked on the Skype icon on the Dock; it launched and found the camp's local Wi-Fi networks. The strongest was his personal network, tied into his TAC. He told AirPort to connect to it; within moments, Skype relayed that he could now connect to the world-at-large. He didn't need the world-at-large; all he needed was the little brownstone in the Hamilton Park neighborhood of Dallas. That number was in his bookmarks, so soon, Ana'Ra was looking at a cheery-faced woman with graying ash-blonde hair.

"General Moexatl!" beamed Ms. Abigail, "How are we today?"

"Lousy," replied Ana'Ra, "but I'm getting better. Where are my two little ladies?"

"In the living room," reported Ms. Abigail, "Claudia is reading her scriptures to Lydia. I'll let them know.you're on."

The au-pair left the screen for a moment, calling on the two girls in the next room. Excited gasps can be heard and soon, both girls are sliding into view, pushing and shoving each other to fit onto the chair in front of the family computer.

"DADDY!" they scream, filling Ana'Ra with love and pride.

"My little ladies, how art thou?"

"We're fine, Daddy," Claudia says, "We've been keeping busy while you're away."

"We made ya something, Papa!" croons Lydia.

"Well, what is it?"

The girls disappear for a moment, then emerge with a sparkle laden poster that sports the words, "WE LOVE YOU, DADDY!"

"D'aww, girls…"

They talk on for a half hour, sometimes talking nonsense, sometimes diving into global politics. That was made Ana'Ra so proud of his daughters: they were so smart and knowledgeable. Their teachers had never had two girls with such an appreciation of learning or the willingness to be taught. He cultivated that in them. His wife helped with that, before she passed. Most people would think that being away from his daughters would make his widower life easier, not having to look at the reminders of his one true love. The opposite was true: being away from them made it harder for him to remember Natalie and that made him depressed.

"Daddy?"

Claudia had interrupted a moment of silliness between Lydia and himself. She was looking rather startled.

"Yes, darlin'?"

"What's that noise?"

"What noise…" Ana'Ra began, but soon, he couldn't feign not hearing it. Outside his tent, there was screaming. He saw shadows passing at frenetic pace from his tent flap. He flicked his Comm Suite back on and heard voices just bulging with fear. The screaming was so loud, he had to rip his helmet off…

"Daddy? Dad?"

"I'm here, Claudia. Something's up, can't tell what. I'm goin' for a look-see. Stephanie, can you switch us to HHUD‡ mode?"

'Yes, sir. Connecting… You're connected.'

Ana'Ra planted his helmet back on head, saying, "Thanks," to his ancilla, then to his daughters, "Tia, Lulu? Ya still there?"

"We're here, Papa," Lydia answered, "Papa, I'm ascared! I can hear them- All of them- They are all so- afraid. What's going on?"

"I dunno, darlin'. Gonna find out. Where's Tia?"

"Here, Daddy," Claudia said, "Dad, you have to get out of there! Something terrible has happened. Something about an experiment… Aggh! The pain- What is white rabbit object?"

"Gets me; first I've ever of it-"

He wanted to say more, but his mouth dried out. Looking from his tent flap, both boots only partly laced up, he sees something that takes away his courage: a mushroom cloud, not the orange color of atomic flame or the yellow-white of plasma, but the neon green of something- horrible. He can hear his daughters, they're yelling for him to flee, to run away, go anywhere but where this cloud is. Before he can answer, the world goes dark-

Can't sleep… *****'ll eat me… Can't sleep… *****'ll eat me…

Ana'Ra hadn't lost consciousness. One minute he was in Myanmar, watching a sickly green mushroom cloud expand over the horizon, next, he's on his back in some sunny field in- wherever here is. He can tell it's a field because he feels grass underneath him. Around him the scent of trees (sycamore, pine, cedar, oak, maple, fir, ash, aspen) is all around. He hears chickens clucking just downspin. When the wind blows, he hears it hoot around the eaves of a wood frame cottage.

He tries to raise his head, but upon doing so, vertigo takes over his senses. I can haz concussion, plz? What had his fortune been today in to Astrology section? 'Stay in bed; today is your day of infamy.' He couldn't have agreed more to that.

"Stephanie, sit-rep. How am I holdin' up."

'You've had better days, sir,' his ancilla informed him, 'I'm doing diagnostics now, but all communication systems are down. Mil-net is gone… GPS is gone… DNR and IFF are non-functional… We are stand-alone, sir.'

"Well, we wouldn't it the easy way, now would we?" he replies.

"We wouldn't?" asks a voice.

Ana'Ra turns his head. Gazing at him, both frightened and curious, is a pale gold pony with a gray rose mane and cyan eyes. He is most certain it's a female, given the curvature in the hips and legs.

"Huhsaywha-?"

"Why wouldn't you want it the easy way?" says the pale pony, much to Ana'Ra's surprise.

"Boyo, I have a feeling we're not in Texas anymore…"

Author's Note

†LIMPBPAW: Abbreviation for Linear Induction, Magnetically Bipolar, Particle Accelerator Weapon; weapons designated such can throw solid projectiles and directed energy at supersonic speeds, causing more damage than traditional ballistic firearms.

‡HHUD: Stands for Holographic Heads Up Display. Unlike the HUDs of today, an HHUD is set on a screen of thin transparent film transistors. It can be touched to move panels and windows away from the main view or projected via hardlight holographic cameras.

WHITE RABBIT OBJECT, a not quite Human-in-Equestria story. Even with this first chapter, I intend to crank the dials past eleven and yank off the knobs. Half of what I have planned here will be leagues away from many might expect.

Some recommended listening for you all:
"Ain't No Rest For the Wicked," by Cage the Elephant, "Where the Wild Things Are," by Metallica

CHEKHOV'S GUN(WOMEN!)!

Weirdo from Another Planet

Retreat? Retreat?! What the fuck; are you shitting me?! I'm up to my elbows in assholes and if I gotta ride 'em down to Hell itself, that's exactly what I'm gonna do!

Cobalt eyes stared down into golden. The mare gazed on Ana'Ra like some curio seen in the back corner of a shop. Though she trembled slightly, she remained where she was. It was obvious to Ana'Ra that he was looking quite the fright. Still suited in the black-on-grey Army uniform, flecks of blood and sweat still clinging to his face, he imagined that he looked akin to something half-past dead.

"W-where is Texas?" the mare asked.

"Texas," Ana'Ra croaked, "it's- in the Mid-South. At least that's where it was last I checked. Would mind if I asked where I am now?"

The mare replied, "You're at my home, on the edge of Everfree Forest."

"Everfree- Forest?" he inquired, "Where in the holiest of Hell is that?"

"It's south of Ponyville, but it pretty much hugs it from south to east. My cottage is to the southeast of Ponyville."

"Would Ponyville be the nearest municipality here?"

"I guess so. Why?"

"Needed a point of reference." Ana'Ra answers.

He attempts to lift his head again; the vertigo strikes once more, but it's not nearly as pronounced. Just as he lays his head back down, a memory strikes him. It was a few days before now, while he was still in Myanmar. He had placing the finishing touches on his Peacemaker carbine. He had a habit of tinkering with everything. Natalie often told him it was a small wonder that none of his tinkering rendered vital equipment useless. The tinkering he did to his Peacemaker turned the tactical rifle into a sharpshooters dream. With a sixteen power Starlight Smart scope, extended LIMBPAW barrel, a flattened and lengthened magazine release catch and ambidextrous cocking lever, his Peacemaker outperformed even some of the best made sniper rifles.

He was just finishing with the adjustments on his scope (the moorings has somehow gotten loose in transit) when a familiar "knock-knock" came to from his tent flap. Lt. Shive had just entered. This was an expected event. The Lieutenant was an Army Liaison for the media, and she kept in contact with every commanding officer in the field. She was no stranger to Ana'Ra's tent and was often welcomed to it. They never did have anything romantic happen, though. Lt. Shive was always about her business. Ana'Ra felt it was a shame, too; Fiona was a very comely lass.

"I've got three quarters of the world's reporters, bloggers, and photo journalists riding my ass about the action here. They want straight word about what's going on. And from what I can tell of Camp, so our troops. Everywhere I go, I keep hearing soldiers say, 'Ride 'Em to Hell!' So what ARE we expecting from the enemy?"

"Not much," Ana'Ra replied, "they don't have lasers or plasma rifles, and from what Alphabet Soup† tells me, they haven't really benefitted much from The Disorders. I got a NSA sat image that shows one of their generals with an Chinese Type 81 strapped to him. Ten-to-one the bullets in it aren't even armor piercing…"

"Wow, low tech much?" Lt. Shive retorted, "Still, any megalomaniac with a gun and a dream is a danger. Did Alphabet Soup say anything about heavier- gear?"

"Nope," Ana'Ra said, "near as the CIA can tell, the Triumvirate has been trying to get North Korean nukes to no avail. And here I thought Kim Jong-Un had no principles…"

"Well, whatever the case may be, we still have a long road to slog."

"God does his Infantry, doesn't he?"

Lt. Shive nods, then adds, "These is one other thing I came in here for."

"What be that?"

"I don't know if you saw, but I'm putting in my papers for retirement."

"Really?" Ana'Ra asked. He had known the Lieutenant for almost five years now, ever since the debacle in Damascus.

"Yeah," she sighs, "I've been active military for ten years now. When I signed on, I never thought of going career. I've more than earned enough to make my way through veterinary school. I'd like to get started on that before life passes me by."

Ana'Ra smiled at the news. The idea that someone under his command was going to get a happy ending instead of an amputation or a funeral made him glad.

"Good for you, Fiona. You'll be missed around here. You always brought a certain charm to camp."

"Especially all those hairy nuisances outside!"

They both laugh; the release is so necessary. Part of soldiers job is to expect death at every turn. Watch for it too often and your head gets messed up. Humor, however dark and macabre it may go, is always cathartic.

"Have you talked to your girls, today?" the Lieutenant asks.

"Just did," Ana'Ra reports, "they were getting ready for bed. I read 'em a bedtime story."

"They must be really strong to handle all of this." remarks the Lieutenant.

"They have to be. If not for them, I might not want to keep on."

"I didn't know…"

"Not many would."

Ana'Ra wasn't sure who initiated it, or even why it happened, but before he knew it he and Lt. Shive were kissing. It must have been mutual because she didn't struggle against him; he was rather thrilled at the prospect. She broke away abruptly however, her face flushed with embarrassment.

"I shouldn't have- We can't…"

Then she walked away. I hate to see her leave, but I love to watch her go. Even now, Ana'Ra had to think there was mutual attraction going on. He never acted on it before, and Fiona never intimated that she had any feelings for him. After that day, though, he wondered, very much. Why this memory flooded his thoughts, he couldn't say. Maybe it was because this mare looked so familiar to him…

"Steph, you still working?"

'Yes sir. I've gone over all major systems and I have good news to report, along with some bad news.'

"Give it to me straight."

'The good news,' the ancilla reported, 'is that most of the major systems are still intact. Outside of communications, everything else is five-by-five.

"What about physical? Any damage there?"

'None that can I detect from your armor, but I do see that you have a concussion. There are a few contusions on your back and thighs. Other than that, you seem okay.'

"Wundervoll," Ana'Ra exclaims, "let's see if I can stand without losing my balance."

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" said the mare.

"I think so," Ana'Ra says, "but I'll know more in a minute."

Lifting his head one last time, he finds the vertigo stage of his concussion is gone. He then tries to prop himself on his elbows. From there, he twists to get on his hands and is soon back on his feet. There is minor disorientation, but nothing to serious."

"By the way," Ana'Ra says, "I never got your name, little pony. Who are you?"

The mare looks up, craning her neck almost back into her body, to look at him.

"I-I'm Fl- Flu- Fluttershy. My name is Fluttershy."

"Sorry to have made such a fuss, Miss Fluttershy," Ana'Ra says, "so, Ponyville is- that way?"

Fluttershy nods.

"Good. Maybe somebody can tell where I am and where Earth is and how I can get back there."

Already, the golden mare is retreating back to her cottage. It seems she has never met a being like unto himself. First time for everything.

'Sir, I'm still running diagnostics, but I feel there's something you should know.'

"You just came to say 'Hello?'" Ana'Ra muses.

'No, sir. I just did a refresher on offensive weapons and in the last minute, power for it went down from 97% to 25%.

"What-?"

'I'm looking into it now, sir. All other systems but Comms read as green. I can't explain it.'

"Keep looking, Steph. I don't think we'll encounter any hostiles here, but it is curious that just happened."

So this is what it was like for the Light Brigade? Ride 'Em Hell, indeed.

I am the man on the phone with the man whose thumb rests on the button that fires the missiles! Okay?!

The walk to Ponyville was very uneventful; it was also fairly short. Stephanie had been silent about her diagnostic work. Her last report was that she had moved from a Level 3 Diagnostic to a Level 1, which is much more extensive. All the while, Ana'Ra had been humming to Martin Solveig's Hello. At least his media player still worked.

Now that he was in sight of Ponyville, he realized why Stephanie hadn't gotten any link up with MilNet or any GPS satellites. The wooden houses with straw thatched roofs told him that the highest form of technology this world had offer was a steam engine. Forget any Wi-Fi or cell service; he was on a world that just reached the Age of Steam. He wanted to cry at the lack of technological sophistication.

Walking into town, he noticed that the mare he met earlier wasn't the only one of her species. Everywhere he walked, he encountered more and more ponies, many of whom gave him a wide berth. Ana'Ra got the idea that humans were a sight unseen in these parts. They certainly sounded intelligent, for an equine species, though. Still, the sense of fright lingering in the air made him nervous. He had to wonder if any humans ever walked on this world.

Soon, he was what looked to be the middle of town. A large, three story building was erected there and was the most prominent building he could see besides a clock tower nearby. Ponies of every shape, size, and color went into and came out that building. Take me to your leader.

He soon surrounded by ponies, each with a design on their flanks. He had no idea what the sigils were for, but he did see some interesting variations of the species. Some of the ponies had wings on the side, telling him that they may be Pegasi. Others had a horn protruding from the middle of their forehead, a possible link to the mythical unicorn. All had curious faces and learned eyes.

"Excuse me, coming through… Make way for a Princess…!"

Princess, Ana'Ra thought, So this world has a monarchy. This should be intriguing.

His first glimpse of equine royalty came charging through the crowd with a small éntourage. The princess in question was a purple mare with a sapphire and violet mane and a crown on her head, all coupled to a unicorn's horn and pegasus wings. Behind her and on her left flank was a candy colored mare that bounced up and down on her hooves and a mare wearing a Stetson over a straw colored mane, A lone unicorn, fresh snow coated and sporting a styled mane of cobalt, took on the right flank. A shadow sat just to her right, and as Ana'Ra looked up, he saw another pegasus, this one in a powder blue coat and wearing a rainbow colored mane. This one looked coldly down on him, as though he were something indecent.

"Hello," announced the Purple Princess, "Welcome to Equestria! I'm Twilight Sparkle."

"'Allo." was all Ana'Ra would say.

"So, if I may be so bold, what brings you here to Ponyville?"

"I'm not- sure." Ana'Ra replied, "I was hoping for some civilization. That was not quite what I had in mind."

"Well," Princess Twilight asked, "what was it you were expecting?"

"A Starbucks, maybe, or someplace where I can could get a decent cell phone signal. I'd even settle for a telegraph office. If I knew where in the Universe this place is."

"I don't know," said the rainbow bow maned Pegasus, "He looks like trouble if you ask me."

"Missy, I'm more IN trouble than I AM trouble."

"Hey-!" the rainbow maned pegasus started, but she was stopped by the Purple Princess.

"Rainbow Dash, we don't need you picking a fight with an alien. At least let him explain himself, then we can take him to Princess Celestia. I'm sure she could sense if he was of any danger to any pony."

"There's another one?" Ana'Ra asked.

"Yes," Princess Twilight said, "I was only just coronated, so I'm still sorting out what my royal duties are. Princess Celestia is the ruler of Equestria and my mentor. If you need any help, I'm sure she could help."

"That sounds good to me." Ana'Ra said, "And I wouldn't mind meeting this Celestia, either."

'Sir, we have a problem!'

"Not now, Steph, I'm talking with ponies- You know, I just now realized how absurd all this is. I'm. Talking. With. Ponies. It's some sort of trip, I'm sure. Just a quick walk on the other side of the Looking Glass now, ain't it?"

'Sir, you need to hear this. In the last five minutes, power to Offensive Weapons went from 25% to 2000%, then dropped to 7.5%! Integrity fields for hard plating are suffering wildly divergent fluctuations. I can't determine the cause or explain why this happening, sir.'

"But why would integrity fields fluctuate like that-?"

Ana'Ra never finishes the thought. The world starts spin for him and before he can control it, he is falling… the world fades to black-

*THUNK!*

Author's Note

†Alphabet Soup-an endearment for government agencies with abbreviated names, such as the FI, CIA, NSA, and FEMA. Ana'Ra uses this a lot when talking about these agencies.

‡"Ride 'Em Hell!'-Like the Marines "Retreat Hell!", this became the Army's motto. Attributed to Lt. Colonel Eberhard, Ret., from a faulty transmission at the Battle of Richmond, Second Civil War.

So Ana'Ra is now in Ponyville and meets with a few- ponies. Paranoia ensues.

Some recommended listening:
"Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood," by The Animals, "Land of Confusion," by Phil Collins

Where's the Beef?

I told you I'd do it, but you didn't believe me. Why didn't you believe me?!

Ana'Ra definitely fainted this time. He just careened face first to the ground. He knows this because he can feel a few loose teeth and his nose is sore from the impact. I did a face plant. By all things bright, I hope I didn't do anything ELSE that was embarrassing. He can't be dead. He wouldn't be feeling splinters in his back if he were dead. He also wouldn't be smelling oak, or the musty scent of mildew. Why am I in a library?

This is when the audio picks up for him and he can hear voices. The voices are filled with concern, but for the longest time he can't understand any words. It all sounds like pigdin to him. He's reminded of game he used to play with Claudia and Lydia. They would spread out over the brownstone and and yell pig-Latin phrases to each other. The only way to win was to make sure the other players could never guess what it was you said. He always lost that game to Claudia…

"…not any critter I've ever seen."

"…walking on his hind legs! Have you ever SEEN such a disgusting display?"

"Maybe he's from some kind of circus? He could be one of the attractions. One of those-uh-?"

"Circus freaks?"

"Rainbow, why did you have say something so vulgar?"

"Because LOOK AT HIM! No hooves, weird clothes, and the smell- UGH, the last time I smelled something like that was in the locker room of the Wonderbolts Academy."

"Hey, look ya'll, he's wakin' up!"

Indeed, Ana'Ra was opening his eyes. Every inch of him ached and he couldn't tell why. He was also hot for some reason. The room he was in was at room temperature, but for whatever reason, he was burning up. A fever maybe-? He turned his sweating head a little and was face to face with Princess Twilight.

"Are you alright?"

"Not really," Ana'Ra lamented, "I hurt everywhere, and when did someone turn on the sauna? Dial it down a little, will ya?"

"I'm afraid a sauna would never fit in this library, darling," said another voice, "although, it would add something to the decor…"

"No, Rarity! I'm not having the books ruined on account of some novelty," spoke the Princess, then to Ana'Ra she said, "You broke out into a fever shortly after you passed out. You're in the Golden Oak Library, my home, and we're trying to get you well. Have you been sick long?"

"Negative, Your Highness," Ana'Ra answered, "this is the first time I've fallen ill in years. My troops used to joke I couldn't catch a cold, even if I tired."

"Well, whatever it is you have, it struck very quickly. I know that Nurse Redheart may have something to make you better. Fluttershy left to get her."

"Miss Fluttershy?" Ana'Ra asked.

"Yes. Do you know Fluttershy?"

"Sorta. When I- landed here, it was in Miss Fluttershy's yard. Don't even know how I got there. Just a moment fo darkness then whoosh! I was here."

"Oh, how dashing an entrance! I wonder how Fluttershy handled it all?"

"We should ask her when she backs back here with Nurse Redheart."

"I bet she panicked and hid behind a fence post or something."

"Dash, you know better than that!"

"But it's true!" Rainbow Dash said, "Ole Miss Butterfly Butt freaks out over her own shadow!"

"Dash, you know as well as I do that Fluttershy can be brave. Remember when she stared down that dragon? Or that time she saved me from being a garden gnome by taking on that cockatrice? And remember when she handled that manticore? Need I remind you that she was the one who that practically tamed Discord? Is any of this ringing a bell?"

"Okay, okay, I get it! She has some guts; don't you think I know that? But this- thing is something we've never encountered before. I don't really know how 'Shy reacted, but if it was me, I would freaking out right now. NOT that I would EVER do that."

"Princess? Is Rainbow Dash the pegasus with the rainbow for a mane?"

"Yes, she is. Why do you ask?"

"Because methinks she doth protest too much. Way to save some face their, Skittles. Now tell us how you really feel…"

"What did you just-"

Anything else Rainbow Dash had to say was drowned out as the door to the library flew open and two ponies rushed inside. One was a light gray pony in a nurses hat, the other was aforementioned golden mare.

"Thanks, Twilight, I'll take it from here."

The nurse pony poked and prodded Ana'Ra for almost ten minutes. He was starting to feel like a lab experiment. When she was done she turned to the group and let them know of her prognosis.

"It looks like a form of feather flu, although I've never seen it in a non-equine before. He should be better in three days, granted he drinks plenty of water and eats well. I'm going to give some medicine to ease his aches and reduce his fever. He's to take two of these pills every four hours; they should make him right as rain again."

"Thank you, Nurse Redheart. We'll see to it that he rests."

The nurse pony nods her head and trots out of the library just as Fluttershy approaches Ana'Ra.

"Could he be contagious? I heard feather flu can spread."

"I don't think so, Applejack, at least not among earth ponies and Unicorns…"

"I don't think so, either," Fluttershy says, "if he were, I would be sick too."

"So what happened out there at your cottage, 'Shy? This guy tells us he landed in your yard."

"Well, he did," Fluttershy confirms, "I was just feeding the chickens, like I usually do. I was spreading feed out and when I turned towards the cottage he just appeared out of nowhere. Of course, I had to help him out, to see if he was okay. He didn't look any critter from Everfree Forest."

"What sort of creatures usually inhabit such a place, Miss Fluttershy?" Ana'Ra asked.

"Most are harmless creatures: bunnies, owls, the occasional phoenix. But there are also manticores, timber wolves, and cockatrices. Its not all that safe, but at night, it gets worse.

"Duly noted."

"You know, all this time, we've been talkin' about this guy but we don't even know his name!"

"You're right, Applejack. I can't believe we didn't bother asking."

"In all the excitement, it's a wonder we could even remember our own! So what is your name, guy?"

"I'm Moexatl Ana'Ra," Ana'Ra says, "You can call me Ana'Ra."

"You have a funny name."

"Pinkie Pie…"

"Your name is funny, too."

"Well, you have funny-looking eyes!"

"You have funny-looking hair."

"You have a funny-looking face!"

"Well, you have a funny-sounding voice!"

After a beat, Pinkie Pie says, "I like him! He's silly!"

"We're sorry about that, Ana'Ra."

"Don't be," Ana'Ra says, "that was actually kinda fun!"

"I don't know about you all, but I could eat a manticore raw with slaw. I bet our guest is starving, too."

"Famished, actually."

"Then we should send Spike out to get something. You need to rest, Ana'Ra and I have so many questions to ask you."

"Sounds good to me," Ana'Ra says, "but do you think you could get me a chair?"

FOR PONY!

For the next hour, as everyone ate, Ana'Ra was pummeled by questions from Princess Twilight. He answered them all to the best of his ability, although he felt some of the questions were too personal for comfort. And she had an endless barrage of questions. Through the interview, she kept asking him about his "alien culture." He took some offense to that, then realized to these ponies, he very much was an alien. And given what he heard form Rarity (he had been formally introduced to the Princess' friends after he was seated on a chaise lounge), it could be surmised that bipedal beings were a thing of great novelty.

While he wasn't entirely thrilled by the grilling Princess Twilight was giving him, he was rather pleased with the fare that passed for lunch. Back home, he never eat rutabaga or spinach. It was a place of some contention with his daughters, as they called him out on his hypocrisy with vegetables. Ana'Ra wasn't a carnivore nominally, but even he could admit he need some more green in his diet. He did some vegetables, like corn, celery, carrots, pickles, cucumbers and the occasional serving of green beans (though they were heavily salted.) Yet, the spinach and rutabaga salad he was eating was actually pretty good, thanks in part to the peanuts sprinkled liberally on it. When bellies were full, a new round of discussion began, with Ana'Ra in the middle.

"I bet you think this all a little strange." the Princess said.

"Damned straight it is," Ana'Ra confirms, "I mean, I knew horses can be smart and most of the equine species are not dumb by any right… Still, talking ponies! It feels a little silly, but given that I see no other apparatus that helps any of you speak, I can only assume you all evolved this way. That would make for a fascinatin' scientific study…"

'Sir, are you there, sir?'

"I'm here, Stephanie. Where in the flamin' hell have you been?"

'I'm sorry about that, sir. Something happened in my logical processor; it took all my processing power to resolve the error.'

"Any change in status?"

'None so far, sir, but I thought you should know that your core temperature is running high. Readings from your neural interface say you have a fever of 103°. Is everything all right?'

"It seems I've contracted some kind of influenza. Might be a local variant, no strain I know causes symptoms to occur this quickly."

"Excuse me, Ana'Ra, but who are talking to?"

"My apologies, Twilight," Ana'Ra says, "my ancilla only just came back online. She wanted to know if I was doing okay."

"Your… ancilla?"

Ana'Ra nods, explaining, "It's like an assistant. Though, unlike your dragon buddy, Stephanie exists only on a 8 Terabyte solid state drive plugged into my helmet. If you want, I can have you meet her."

"You can do that?"

"Sure," Ana'Ra answers, "Excuse me while I whip this out…"

Ana'Ra reaches for something conical at his waist and every pony in the room gasps.

"Relax, it's just a miniature holostage."

Ana'Ra drops the device on the floor of the library, where it lands flat on its wide bottom end.

"Steph, can you transfer to Echo-Five and go into active display mode?"

'Yes, sir. One moment…'

For several seconds nothing happens. Then, to the surprise of many (and the delight of Pinkie Pie), a royal hued translucent entity emerges from the disc. The being resembles Ana'Ra in general anatomy but has softer lines and appears feminine in form.

"Good afternoon."

The ponies are in awe of the technological wonder that is Stephanie's holographic form. She surveys the room from the holostage, seeing things even the ponies didn't know existed. Eventually, she stops turning and bows in Ana'Ra's direction.

"Is there anything I can do for you, sir?"

"Yeah," Ana'Ra says, "Can you give a brief description of what you are to these ponies. Don't think they've seen an A.I. before."

"Gladly! I am Stephanie, an artificially intelligent semi-sentient computer construct, acting as ancillary and adjunct to General Moexatl. If you have any questions, I would be glad to answer them.

Face-palming himself as Princess Twilight eyes showed an eagerness for knowledge. Ana'Ra quietly says, "I should have brought a book."

Author's Note

Ana'Ra ends up at the Golden Oak Library after his latest embarrassing incident. But how did he end so sick so quickly? In the meantime, he gets to know the Mane Six and introduces them to his ancilla, Stephanie.

I should note that color changes in An'Ra speech are NOT to confused for emphasis. Something is going on here and it's part of the major events that will soon come to light.

Recommended listening:
"The Man Comes Around," by Johnny Cash, "All Along the Watchtower," by Jimmy Hendrix

Scientific Progress Goes "Boink"

Note to self: upon next planeswalking adventure, ensure HazMat Containment is set to Level 8 or above.

Three days passed and Ana'Ra was still not better. Nurse Redheart kept coming back as his illness got progressively worse. That was the thing of it: his fever would break for a while, then it would return with a vengeance. Stephanie would report to Princess Twilight his temperature on an hourly basis, always noting fever ranges when they occurred. His aches never went away; he lent himself to lay across the chaise lounge he set himself upon to alleviate some of the pain. His body was longer than the sofa itself, so his knees ran over the edge , allowing his lower legs to dangle from it.

He had gotten to know the Princess' friends better, in between the moments he was lucid and free from fever. Applejack was the hard-working country girl and owner of the Sweet Apple Acres apple orchards; Pinkie Pie was the over-excitable party-girl who worked part time at the local confectionery, Sugar Cube Corner; Rainbow Dash was the adrenaline junkie show-pony with ambitions to star in the lineup of the Wonderbolts, the premier stunt fliers of "Equestria;" Rarity was the local fashion maven and owned the Carousel Boutique, her own custom clothing store; Princess Twilight acted as librarian for the town library, was studious and intellectual, and was awaiting a kingdom bequest from one of the kingdoms leaders, a "Princess Celestia;" last but not least was Fluttershy, the faint-hearted animal wrangler noted for her kindness and alleged fear of everything.

It was Fluttershy who looked after him, as the other ponies had other business to attend to during the day. She was often the last to leave the library, owning to the fact that her business could be handled anywhere away from her cottage home. She helped the nurses from Ponyville General over see his medications and fretted over him like she would any other creature in her care. Ana'Ra oft wondered why she was so dedicated to his well being. He certainly couldn't begrudge her a day off from her toil; on the contrary, he was hoping she would take some time for herself. All this devotion to him was starting to make him think she had taken with a case of Florence Nightingale Syndrome. He even mentioned it to Princess Twilight before slipping back into fever-dream.

"'Florence Nightingale Syndrome?' Stephanie, can you explain this to me?" Twilight wondered after Ana'Ra had slipped back in fever dream again.

"Yes, Your Highness. Florence Nightingale Syndrome is a condition wherein a caretaker, such as a nurse, gets emotionally involved with their charge as to develop emotional resonance, i.e.: romantic feelings, for them. I have begun to see this pattern as well. I would hope that Miss Fluttershy was not entertaining such desires; I am not even sure if she and The General are compatible, genetically speaking."

"Do you think he-?"

"Unknown. Nominally, I can read The General's emotional state via the neural interface built into his armor's helmet, but with his fever and some of the- delusions, brought on by his current state, I cannot say with any certainty what he feels."

"He's having delusions?"

"No questions about it, Your Highness. Although I am an Adjunct A.I., I am afraid I do not have the necessary psychological awareness to tell you what he is experiencing. I can see some of it, but, as the General would say, it would not be proper to speak of it in polite company."

"Is it now? I hope it isn't something tawdry…"

"I don't believe so, but it is rather- visceral. I can no more describe it than I can imagine you describing laughter to me. No offense."

"None taken, Stephanie. It still makes me wonder why his feather flu hasn't gone away."

Stephanie meditates for a moment, then inquires, "What if it is not feather flu?"

"What do you mean?"

Stephanie explains, "What if this malady is something more serious? What if the General is infected with a strain of bacterium or some other microorganism the likes of which evade your medical sciences?"

The Princess pondered this for a moment then said, "I wasn't going to do this; I prefer medical fact to medical folklore. But I do know of somepony who may be able to offer more on this infection he has."

"And who, praytell, would that be?"

"An herbalist, who lives deep in the Everfree Forest. She's a zebra who may shed some light on Ana'Ra's condition. Her name is Zecora."

"How quickly can you send for her?"

Of course, you realize, this means war.

The next morning, Ana'Ra was lucid again. His condition had not improved much, but he was eating again. The night before, he couldn't get anything down his throat; a pail resting next to the lounge was filled to the rim with vomit. Applejack and her kid sister, Apple Bloom, were sent to acquire Zecora's services. In the meantime, the Princess' friends administered to Ana'Ra in his distress. Rarity took to grooming him, washing his face and hair of sweat; Rainbow Dash helped change his sheets along with Pinkie Pie; the Princess saw to fluffing his pillow and asked Spike to see the cleaning of the vomit pail (Spike mentioned he rather do something else, but the Princess stared him down); Fluttershy was again feeding him, as his pains rendered any motor control useless.

It didn't take long before Applejack and her sister returned with the herbalist in tow. Since Apple Bloom was in school most of the time, she had not seen the General before. Her first reaction was akin to Rainbow's.

"Sis, what is THAT?"

"That's Ana'Ra. He's the critter that wondered into Ponyville the other day. He ain't been to good since he arrived."

"I am the Walrus, I am the Eggman; goo-goo-ga-joob!"

"What's he sayin'?"

"He is in a delusion, Little One. He neither knows if he is here and now and there and later."

Apple Bloom gasps as Ana'Ra's ancilla appeared from nowhere.

"Sis…!"

"Don't worry about it, Bloom," Raindow Dash remarks, "Stephanie has a flair for the dramatic."

"How da ya mean?"

"She has a tendency to make an entrance, Apple Bloom," Twilight explains, "like a certain somepony I know."

Rarity looks up from her conditioning of Ana'Ra's locks.

" I do hope you're not referring to me, Darling.

Twilight gives a nervous chuckle, "Wouldn't dream of it."

"I do apologize, Apple Bloom. There is no good way to materialize from a holostage. It always comes as a surprise unless you are used to it."

"Don't make a girl a promise, if you know you can't keep it…"

Zecora breaks in, observing, "My patient, I can be assured has no inkling when or where he is secured. Given his state, there can be no debate, that his debility is beyond the hospital's ability."

Princess Twilight confirms this, saying, "Pretty much, Zecora. None of the pills he's been given have managed to reduce or cure his fever. He complains of aches all over and from what we know, he's been like this since he arrived here. He is also losing the ability to move; I fear the worst."

"I would not say he has given up the ghost, but the worst diseases can consume the host. I will see what ails him, from what symptoms prevails and see what remedies can prevent certain tragedy."

"He-he, Nothing rhymes with orange…"

"Given his pallor, I see a sign, that he shan't be lost before his time."

"That's a good sign, is it?"

The zebra nods, then begins to examine Ana'Ra, asking for assistance from the other ponies to turn the patient in her patented rhyming style of speech. Eventually, she comes to a conclusion, but it is not what the others had in mind.

"It is plain to me, from what I see, that the patient in question suffers from the Changing Palsy."

The Princess and her friends exchange an unbelieving look.

"In my home country, this disease has been seen. It transforms the host most painfully, into a form it has never been."

"What are you saying, Zecora?"

"The creature here that you now see, shall soon a pony be. The Changing Palsy, once acquired, renders the victim to a form most desired. It has not been seen in centuries, no known cure exists in my memory. The best that can be done for him, is to ease his pain and comfort him."

"Is that all we can do, Zecora?" Fluttershy asks.

The herbalist nods, saying, "No more can I do, this malady must take its course. It is less disease than it is a curse."

"I thought curses didn't exist?" Dash asks pointedly.

"Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle…

"Neither do I, Rainbow Dash, so do not be so rash. Yet, even my medicine, as potent it is, has it's limits with such evil as this."

"Thank you, Zecora. Is there anything else that we can do?

"There are some herbs I carry that shall numb him from pain. Sprinkle them in his water, when he is in anguish again."

The herbalist leaves a small pouch of greenish brown leaves in a satchel, showing Twilight and Fluttershy, who was adamant in learning the procedure, how to grind the herbs and mix into his water. She soon leaves, escorted by Apple Bloom and Applejack. Throughout the rest of the day, Twilight and her friends fed Ana'Ra and administered the pain killing leaves when he was wracked with torment. Everypony feared that he might really well die, none more so than Fluttershy. As the night fell, she was still tending to him, her concern becoming more obsessive by the hour. Just before she left that evening, Ana'Ra woke up, more lucid than he had been that week.

"Miss Fluttershy, why are you here?" he moaned.

"I'm taking care of you. Since you landed on my doorstep, I felt it was only natural that I help in anyway I can."

"You are too kind, Miss Fluttershy. I can't help feeling this is all for naught, though."

"What do you mean?"

Ana'Ra looked up into the golden pegasus' eyes and said answered, "I think I'm gonna die. Oh, Miss Fluttershy, I don't wanna die… What'll happen to my little ladies? Their mother is already dead, but what of their father? Please, God, don't let me die… Not now…"

The man, who Fluttershy was in awe and very much frightened of, was crying. The tears overflowed his eyes and spilled down sandy cheeks. She tipped her muzzle to caress his face, saying that he wasn't gonna die, everything would be all right, he had no reason to worry. After several minutes, he stopped crying, thanking the pegasus for her care and slipped back to sleep. She, however, never left his side.

"Tyger, Tyger, burning bright, in the forests of the night, what Immortal Hand or Eye, dare frame Thy fearful symmetry?"

When morning light struck the Golden Oak Library, all was quiet. There were no indications about what was about to happen nor were there any signs that something drastic had happened in the hours before dawn. As was now usual in Princess Twilight residence, Stephanie and Spike were the first to arise from slumber. They did not notice the form draped across the chaise lounge in the central library, nor had they taken notice of Fluttershy fast asleep on the floor next to it. Neither dragon nor ancilla registered that anything was amiss. After the event s and revelations of the previous day, none could predict what was awaiting them. Even if they had, would that have mattered?

Ana'Ra wakes slowly, noting that his pains are gone and he no longer feels feverish. In fact, he feels downright pleasant; he might even venture outside for a spell, if the mood strikes him. No sooner has he come to this conclusion does he try to kick off his boots. The right boot comes off, but with such velocity, it carries from the sofa to an adjacent window, shattering it. What he sees from the shattered portal is nothing compared to what he sees of his right foot. Or, to be more accurate, his right hoof.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

His bellowed profanity reaches everyone within and without the library. Twilight flies down the steps in a rustle of wings; Spike follows in a clatter of talons. Stephanie reappears on her holostage and the registered shock on her face is almost comical, if she did't seem so horrified.

"What's going on? I thought I heard- OH, CELESTIA!"

Ana'Ra glares at his trans-mutated body, barely able to process the radical transformation.

"What. In the fuck. HAPPENED. TO. ME?"

"Ana'Ra, please calm down, you're gonna be-"

"If the next word out of your muzzle is 'okay,' I swear by all things bright I will strangle you! Princess or no, I will choke the ever livin' life outta ya!"

Twilight, frightened beyond belief, stammers, "A-A-Ana'Ra, p-p-please, I know it's a shock…"

"Shock? Shock?! THIS IS A BLUE RIBBON, FIRST PLACE, GRADE 'A' FUCK-ME-OVER! There had better be an explanation for this-"

"Mmm, Ana'Ra, is that you" Fluttershy yawns, "I though I heard yelling…"

"Miss Fluttershy? Ana'Ra asks, only now noticing the Pegasus asleep at his hooves.

"Yes, I'm here an- Oh, my, Ana'Ra…!

She takes in the sight of him. Where once a swarthy skin was, there is now a midnight blue coat of fur. His hair has grown into a mane and amid the black there are streaks of crimson. His upper torso still reflects his human self, but his legs are now unguligrade in nature. A tail has also emerged from his back; it too shares the black and crimson styling from his mane.

"Oh, my goodness, Ana'Ra! When Zecora said that you would transform, we never imagined this…"

"Who said what now?"

Twilight finally found her courage again and said, "Zecora is our local herbalist. When modern medicine fails, ponies go to her to seek a more natural remedy. She told us you were infected with what she called 'the changing palsy.' She should have warned us how it would take effect.'

"A little late for that now, ain't it? Ana'Ra chided, then to Fluttershy, "Is it as bad as I think it is?"

The Pegasus answered, "It could be so much worse. You should see; it's not hideous at all. In fact, I think it looks rather good on you.

"Uh, thanks, I think. I guess it beats buyin' a farm."

Twilight, confused, asks, "What's a farm got to do with that?"

Ana'Ra turns a hand to Stephanie, who explains, "It is a euphemism. 'To buy a a farm' is a colloquialism describing death; it is a bit antediluvian. It dates back to the First Global War, but has seen a resurgance since the start of The Disorders. Popular usage had replaced the term with…"

"Enough, Steph! By all things bright, you're like a talking version of the Encyclopedia Britannica when you get goin'. You and C-3PO would make a wonderful couple…"

"I guess it would be an understatement to say you're a little overwhelmed right now."

"Your Highness, me and overwhelmed parted ways sometime ago. Hell, when I left my house the last time, I had no idea I was gonna be an anthropomorphic pony by week's end."

"Actually, you've been sick for more than a week." Fluttershy corrects.

"No shit? Stephanie, is what she sayin' true?"

His ancilla nods, saying, "It is true, sir. At least nine local solar cycles have come and gone since you ended up here. For some time, it was feared you may actually expire. Thank the Maker you did not.

Flexing his new legs, trying to keep his tail out his way, Ana'Ra says, "This would explain this vast pit where my stomach is. I'm bettin' I ain't ate much since comin' down with this 'changing palsy.' I guess I should eat before I try out the new hardware, eh?"

Spike, who was silently taking this all in, lights at the chance to change the topic of conversation.

"Sounds like a plan! May I also assume that you and Fluttershy would like something as well, Twilight?"

"Yes, Spike, that would be wonderful."

"Back in two shakes!"

Ana'Ra watches as the baby dragon vanishes into the kitchen, then says, "Ah, Twilight? I'm sorry about before, with the yellin' and the threatenin'. This episode has me out-of-sorts, if you will. It's a wonder I haven't had a psychotic break…"

"There's nothing to forgive, Ana'Ra. I was just as unnerved as you are now when something similar happened to me."

"How do ya mean? This happened to you, too?"

"In a way. It's probably best I tell that story some other day. There's been enough trauma for one morning."

"Yea, verily. And I'm so hungry I could eat a h- whole hog dipped in butter. Miss Fluttershy, would you care to join us for some breakfast?"

"Oh, yes, that would be delightful!"

Author's Note

Chekhov's Cough, anyone? Also, Zecora is HARD to write. I hope I did her justice here. The second break quote is from William Blake's narrative poem, "Tyger, Tyger." Has anyone ever noticed that Ponyville's library has a certain retrospective alliteration to another series' building? One that Lauren Faust worked on before MLP:FiM? (Is it that obvious that I favor Fluttershy? Methinks she has replaced Takara Miyuki as number one one top animated females.)

Recommended listening:
"Dream On," by Aerosmith, "Scalliwag," by Celtic Storm

Where the Wild Things Are

Set 'em 'round, knock 'em down, and ROLL 'EM UP!

Breakfast was a very intimate and enjoyable affair. Owing to the fact that Ana'Ra was still getting used to his new form, Spike decided to bring breakfast to the central library. Princess Twilight magicked several dinner trays around for everyone and set plates upon each as well. Spike returned after several minutes with a silver tray burgeoning with "rabbit food." Ana'Ra's new body had the distinguished advantage of easily processing the vegetables and fruits that consisted of the Equestrian diet. Better still, foodstuffs he never considered tasty when he was human were now nigh unto delectable. It didn't seem to upset him so much that he would need to learn to walk again. That just means I'll never have to buy another pair of shoes again!

"It must be strange for you to eat like an herbivore," Fluttershy commented, "do you think you'll miss the taste of meat?"

"I might," Ana'Ra remarked, "Humans are nominally omnivores. I enjoyed bacon and steak when I was- human, but I wasn't adverse to a salad or the occasional carrot. Truesbob, I often had some celery on hand as a light snack whenever I could stow some vittles away."

Stephanie arrives as Spike begins to ladle out some orange juice for the trio, explaining what obviously Princess Twilight and Fluttershy didn't comprehend.

"An omnivore is a sentient entity with the capacity to gain energy from the consumption of both plant and animal matter. Most species in the class Mammalia are omnivores, which includes the family of Hominidae, genus of Homo, and the species of sapiens, i.e.: humans. The term Homo spaien is Latin for 'wise man…'"

"I think they get it, Stephanie."

"You know, I'd never thought I'd live to see the day I acquired information overload, but here it is…" Princess Twilight lamented.

"Welcome to my existence."

"So, Stephanie, do you feel an less appreciated because you're, well, not real." Spike inquired of Ana'Ra's ancilla.

Stephanie answered, "I am afraid I do not understand the question."

"Forget it, Spike," Ana'Ra warned, "she may be an A.I., but Steph lacks the emotional depth to answer philosophical questions. It's a fault in her programming, not something I coded in. "

"That is something I wanted to ask you, Ana'Ra," Fluttershy solicits of their guest, "what is it that you do, where you come from?"

Ana'Ra searches for a diplomatic answer, then says, "Back home, I have Doctorates of Philosophy in the fields of Computer Science and Nanaoscopic Technology. My job was that of an army officer, as Stephanie points out every so often."

"So, you're a leader?" Twilight demands.

"In a fashion, yeah."

Fluttershy declares, "That must have been so exciting!

"If by exciting, you mean filling out reams of paperwork, perusing list upon endless list of names up for promotion, and fighting tooth and nail with politicians over every available dollar, then yeah, it was exciting."

"What's a 'dollar?'"

"It's the currency of the nation I belong to. 'E Pluribis Unem,' 'One Out of Many,' and that garbage. Here, I think I have some still…"

Ana'Ra proceeded to produce a battered billfold from the pocket of his uniform pants. He withdrew a slip of paper from that billfold and showed it to Fluttershy and Princess Twilight. The two ponies couldn't read the text or the numerals on the bill, seeing as the note was seriously wrinkled.

"If you look here, you'll see the pinstripe, a strip of magnetic tape inserted into the bill. And here," Ana'Ra pointed to a section of the note that appeared blank, "if you hold the bill to a light, you'll see a watermark of the portrait on the front. In this case, Benjamin Franklin. There are also embedded red, green, and blue fibers in the bill, and if you look at the portrait carefully, you'll see micro-text embedded there."

The ponies stared at the relic of human economics. He could tell that the Princess was trying to see the microscopic text written in the portraiture on the front of the note. Fluttershy was trying to discern the numbers on the bill.

"What do these numbers mean?"

"That is a Treasury Serial Number. All US currency is given one so it can tracked within the system."

"It feels so light!" Fluttershy enjoins, "Is it made of paper?"

"Not really; it's actually made of a cotton cloth called denim."

"Impressive…" is all Twilight can say.

The rest of the morning was spent eating and helping Ana'Ra learn to move with his new hooves. He was used to walking about on two feet; his new hooves gave him less surface area to maintain proper traction and he kept falling down. Eventually, he started getting the hang of it. He was still a little wobbly, but he was no worse off than a drunkard with a blood alcohol level of point eight.

"I think," Ana'Ra said, "I'm ready for the public. First, though, we had a meeting with this 'Princess Celestia.' Are we still on for that?"

"I've sent The Princess a letter detailing your arrival and subsequent illness. I told her that you would like to meet her, as soon as you were well enough to stand."

"Well, I think now is as good a time as any, eh?"

Oh, I'm sorry! Your name is-?

An hour later, Princess Twilight and her entourage escorted Ana'Ra to Canterlot, Princess Celestia's home and base of power. The other mares in the group were taken aback by the sight of Ana'Ra. Rainbow Dash was trying to hide an appreciable blush, an effect that was uncharacteristic of the stunt-mare; Applejack was as well, yet she couldn't help shooting furtive glances in his general direction. Rarity, on the other hand, was just as offended by his presence as ever. Pinkie Pie seemed neutral in Ana'Ra's estimation. He didn't dare suppose how Flulttershy thought of him. To Princess Twilight, he was a deep well of answers and a new order of study; he wasn't sure he liked that designation.

According to Twilight, The Princess had taken the unusual step of calling on a team of chariots to get Ana'Ra and Princess Twilight to Canterlot. Once they were airborne, he sincerely desired they had taken the Ponyville Express. He had not mentioned when they were making their departure, but Ana'Ra suffered from a severe case of acrophobia. A step stool was often too much for him to climb, so one of his daughters or his wife, while she was alive, would often be asked to grab items from shelves beyond his reach. They winged chariot ride from Ponyville unnerved him to no end.

Thankfully, the ride didn't take all that long, as the crow flies. Soon, Ana'Ra was looking at a castle built into the side of mountain. The Feudalistic spires and ramparts of the palace and it's surrounding districts kept Ana'Ra thinking of his daughter Claudia's design sensibilities. He had to admire that the city itself was well defended; no force could climb the mountain without being seen from on high, and the only other way to circumvent the security of the jagged cliffs was to climb the opposite face. He could see where something had sheared that side of the mountain to make it impassable on foot or by hoof. From what he saw of Equestrain technology, he highly doubted there was the capacity for an enemy nation to mount an aerial assault, short of sending in armed Pegasi.

The chariots soon landed in a central courtyard within the palace itself. Everypony and Ana'Ra disembarked and the Pegasi leading the chariots took again for the air. He looked around at the courtyard, taking in the sights. A low hedge bordered the cloister; Greek pillars stood in a circle around a bubbling fount. The statue mounted to the fountain was of a unicorn standing, head held high, right hoof in proud salute. The area was sealed up by two pairs of heavy, oaken doors, one set facing east, the other set, westward, into the caste itself. He was admiring the marble statuary on a nearby plinth when the double doors from the castle end of the cloister opened up.

From inside, a single figure emerged. The being was like unto the other ponies, but Ana'Ra sensed a power far beyond any reckoning he could imagine. At first, he thought the mare was a Unicorn, like Rarity. Upon further inspection, though, he saw she also had a pair of wings, a combo he thought only existed with Twilight. The mane of The Princess was set in a pastel rainbow and it flowed in an unseen current. She had a crown like Twilight's, but she also had a plated necklace paired to matching vambraces on all four of her legs. Taller than other ponies yet shorter than Ana'Ra by about two feet, she had a commanding aura.

"Good morning, my little ponies," Princess Celestia said, "and a good morning to you, General."

"Beg yer pardon, Ma'am," Ana'Ra said, "but seein' as I have no troopers here with me, you can just call me by by my first name. An officer without soldiers to command is a civilian in a uniform."

"Of course," Celestia agreed, "I wouldn't want it said I was following an errant protocol. Please, everypony, come inside. There is much we must discuss."

Celestia led the way into the palace, taking turns here and there away from more spacious parts of the building. Judging by the look on Twilight's face, she had an idea that they were heading away form any public chamber, like the throne room. Ana'Ra surmised that a visit by an alien from another world or dimension deserved a more cozy audience than most any other kind of meeting. It took some time, but Celestia eventually led them to an antechamber, deep within the recesses of the castle grounds. The room was smaller than most of the chambers and halls that connected it, but it was warm and brightly lit with sunlight. An intimate table, set low to the floor, was the centerpiece of the room and around it were several high back chairs.

"Mr. Ana'Ra, if you would sit here," Celestia said, pointing to a large chair near one of the many windows in the room, "Twilight, sit near me. Everypony else, get a comfortable seat wherever you choose."

There was jockeying for a seat near Ana'Ra, wherein Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy pushed and cajoled for a spot near the half-pony. Strangely enough, the diffident Fluttershy wound up the victor and sat by Ana'Ra's right side. The losers chose places that afforded a view of Ana'Ra and the ruling co-arch.

"Mr. Ana'Ra, it is a pleasure to have you here in our kingdom. It is a pity we couldn't meet earlier." Celestia announced.

"Couldn't be helped, Ma'am. According to a reliable source, I got infected by the 'changing palsy' soon as I wound up here. I wouldn't have been in any mind to see ya in said state. No doubt Princess Twilight informed you of the circumstances?"

"That she has. My faithful student has kept my appraised of your- situation. Her most recent letter informed me of some changes that happened to you. Needless to say, your presence before was startling, even before you took ill, but this new body… it is a sight. I don't believe there is any precedent for this, in all of Equestria's history."

"Believe you me, I didn't any of this would happen to me. As I explained to your- student, one minute I was in Myanmar, next minute, I was here. … Shit!"

"I'm sorry?" Celestia requests.

"Pardon my French, Ma'am. I just… My daughters. I left them back home. I dunno what's gonna happen to 'em now that I'm here, stuck in this- edifice."

"Did you say you have daughters, Mr. Ana'Ra?"

"Yeah, two of 'em. Claudia… and Lydia…"

"Do you miss them?" Celestia implored.

Ana'Ra nodded and took out the holostage Stephanie normally inhabited. He fidgeted with the small control panel on its side, seeking something. After a moment or two, an image appeared of two young girls, smiles stretching ear-to-ear. The older one had magenta eyes, the younger one sported cobalt eyes. Both had flecks of gold in their eyes, a hint of their father. Oddly enough, only Ana'Ra noticed the minor twitch in Celestia's face when the image appeared.

"They are so beautiful, Mr. Ana'Ra." Celestia comments.

"They gets their looks from their mother…"

"Nevertheless, is there anyway I and my sister can be of assistance?"

"A way back home would be good," Ana'Ra says, "Any advice about becoming human again would be good, too."

As soon as Ana'Ra said that, the tune "Human Again" from Beauty and the Beast plays.

"GODDAMN IT, STEPHANIE! We are not in 'random play mode!'"

"My apologies, sir. The reading form your neuralace suggested otherwise."

"What was that voice?" Celestia asked.

"That was Ana'Ra's ancilla, an artificial intelligence he calls Stephanie." Twilight explains.

"And for whatever reason today, she's actin' finicky. On the way here, she had 'Ride of the Valkyries' pumpin' in my ears. Wagner is good, but not when I'm facing imminent peril!"

Celestia laughs, apparently amused by the misplaced musical cue.

"It's alright. That took me by surprise, but it was a welcome surprise. As for your requests, Mr. Ana'Ra, we will do everything in our power to ensure you are returned home as soon as possible. For the now, please enjoy the hospitality of my faithful student and that of Ponyville."

"Much obliged, Ma'am. I guess until all is sorted, I should avail meself of this world's unique atmosphere."

With that, Celestia bowed to Ana'Ra; he likewise did the same. Celestia requested of Twilight to act as emissary for Ana'Ra until such time as provisions could be made for his safe return home. Twilight agreed and her friends also volunteered to help out, though for some it was to a greater or lesser degree than Twilight's assurance.

I knew it; I 'm surrounded by Assholes! Keep firing Assholes!

Upon returning to Ponyville, Twilight arranged for comfortable accommodations for Ana'Ra. Among those resources was a outdoor gym built just behind the Golden Oak Library. The facility was supplied with a sand bag, speed bag, a nautilus machine (or what passed for one in this backwater world), a weight bench, a chin bar, and steam powered treadmill. It took a little for most of these items to be acquired and in the meantime, Ana'Ra was setting up the little hovel that would be his temporary quarters.

After finally getting all the furnishings completed, Ana'Ra decided it was time to get to know the village better. Ponyville being the size it was, he had some difficulty not attracting some manner of attention. His half-pony form was just slightly more acceptable than his human one. Strolling through town, he found, was a little uneasy. Worse still was trying to get through the doors of most buildings. At six feet-eight inches tall, Ana'Ra was a giant to the equine populace.

Eventually, the ponies in town were won over by his personality. As tall as he was, he was surprisingly gentle, although in his current form, he didn't quite a handle on his new strength. Apparently, his half-and-half figure was incredibly strong; he almost ripped the roof of Quills and Sofas when he reached up to procure some parchment for another customer. He was finding his predicament rather frustrating. Shortly after that incident, and the repairs were finished for such, he decided to train himself on his new vitality.

"Stephanie, can you open the media player for me?"

'Yes, sir. One moment… It is open. What did you wish do?

"Queue the music folder and search for The Crystal Method."

'The music folder is queued. Searching… Found, The Crystal Method. Six albums are attributed to this artist. Did you want to listen to one?'

"Actually, I want you to open a song. Search 'Name of the Game.'"

'Searching… Two results are found. The first originates from the album 'Tweekend.' The second comes from the soundtrack for 'Tropic Thunder,' annotated as the 'Tig Ass Bitties Mix.' Which-?'

"From the 'Tropic Thunder' soundtrack."

'Queuing… the song is loaded. Should I apply any presets or effects, sir?'

"Yes, load up full bass and trouble and modify with Surround Sound."

'Applying effects… Ready to play. Shall I begin?'

"Hit me with bass from the set up!"

The song starts with Tom Morello's signature licks and Ana'Ra begins with to train. The heavy bag is his target and he repeatedly kicks and punches it with full force. The song throbs in the open air and it catches the attention of a certain Pegasus in flight. She flies down to get a better look.

"Whoa, nelly, what's goin' on here?" Rainbow Dash asks,

"Trainin'. Damn near ripped the roof off Quills and Sofas, so I need to get a handle on my power."

"Can I help?"

"Nice of you to ask… but, I don't wanna hurt nopony. Just keep clear."

Rainbow Dash does as Ana'Ra suggests, landing next to a nearby tree and just watches. As the song progresses, Ana'Ra quotes the voice over work, which confuses Dash quite a bit. Yet, for as confused as Dash is about what Ana'Ra is saying, she can't help but watch him train. The rain of blows on the heavy bag echos in the small space; she even feels it in her bones when a particular punch or kick is landed. The half-pony does several acrobatic maneuvers that rival anything Dash has ever done. The entire session seems like one long dance session, interspersed with violence. When the song ends, Ana'Ra stops. His coat is now slick with sweat and his mane plasters to his back. He looks satisfied, though.

"I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!"

"Wow. That was the coolest set of stunts I've ever seen!"

Ana'Ra nods, saying, "I may not have been a world class athlete back home, but I held my own. A decade of combat has made me flexible, too."

"I would love to try moves like that." Dash impugns.

"I could teach ya…" Ana'Ra replies.

Dash responds enthusiastically, "That. Would be. So. AWESOME!"

Ana'Ra motions for her to come close and he shows her his skills in martial combat. For half an hour, he and Dash are master and pupil. When Dash perfects his spinning kicks, she asks for more. He obliges, showing her a bicycle kick, his patented Guillotine Cyclone Strike, a side-to-side high kick, and finally, a simple juggle move. She perfects each one as he shows them to her.

"Well, it seems I have a promising student on my hands!"

"Ah, man! That was way cooler than anything the Wonderbolts have ever done! Like 200% cooler!"

Ana'Ra chuckles, "I thought 200% was a statistical impossibility. Damn, I'm starting to sound like Dr. Sheldon Cooper!"

Without warning, Dash has got her muzzle pressed to his face, a kiss planted on his midnight colored coat. One of her hoofs is making toying spirals on his chest. Surprised, Ana'Ra does the only thing he knows to do in this situation: he pushes Rainbow Dash off him.

"WHAT DA FUQUE?!"

Dash looks unperturbed. She rushes him, both her forelegs outstretched as if to embrace him. Ana'Ra side steps the assault. She, in turn, does a hairpin turn and comes at him again. This time, Ana'Ra braces for the attack, planting his hooves deep into the ground, and pushes forward just as Dash is about to connect with him. She smacks into his back and is sent spiraling to the ground. She lands with a muffled thud.

"Now what's the big idea?!"

Dash stands up, braced to fly at him again, but he uses his longer limbs to his advantage. He plants a hand on her forehead, effectively stopping her in her tracks.

"The- idea- is- you- me- hookin' up! What's- the big- deal- huh?"

Ana'Ra pushes her away. The idea of 'hooking up' with one of these creatures is repugnant to him, even if in his current form, he's finding some of the mares more and more attractive.

"The deal is, I still haven't worked out if this transformation is permanent or not. I can't even think of having a relationship, physical, emotional, or otherwise, with anypony yet!"

"Wait- What do ya mean? I thought you were flirting with me!"

"Fli- flirting? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I was teaching ya some of the skills I've learned and I think I was HITTING YOU?! Let me ask you something, Skittles, did you hit every branch of the Stupid Tree on your way down or were you just lucky that way?"

Rainbow Dash, insulted and hurt, flies off. Ana'Ra sees tears flying off her face as she rushes by. Immediately, he feels a pang of regret. He didn't mean to be insulting like that. He got angry… Well, that was just perfect. he thinks, I let me anger get the better of me. Why DID I get so mad? I haven't lashed out like that since fuckin' high school! What the Hell is wrong with me?

"Ana'Ra?!"

It's Twilight Sparkle. He can only think she must have heard the tussle and has come out to see what caused it.

"Back here, Your Highness."

Twilight rushes to the scene, Spike hot on her hooves. She stops just as Ana'Ra plops down on an ancient bale of hay. The whole scene with RD has drained him, physically and emotionally.

"What happened? I thought I heard you and Rainbow Dash arguing."

"We were. She wanted me to show her some of my moves. One thing lead to another, and then she was kissing me."

Twilight got an impish look in her eyes before Ana'Ra waved her off.

"I dunno how she got that I was hittin' on her. I- I kinda exploded on her. I don't even know why I was so mad! I insulted her hardcore. Methinks an apology is order."

"I would think so!" Twilight growls, "What gives you the right to hurt my friends?"

"We humans are cruel creatures. We stand our heroes on pedestals then when they make a simple mistake, we tear them down, sickle, scythe, and hook. It's no excuse for what I did, Twilight. It's not even a reason for what happened. Something about the situation… I dunno."

Twilight's attitude softened. It appeared to her that Ana'Ra was seriously remorseful about his outburst. And given his current state, much might be going on in his mind that could cause him emotional duress. Any pony in his position would most likely be stressed beyond comparison.

"Are you okay?"

Ana'Ra nods, then says, "Stephanie, play 'Song of Storms,' the Living Tombstone remix, please."

"Yes, sir. Should I begin playback?"

"Yes."

"Ana'Ra?"

"Tomorrow, could you arrange for Skittles to come by. Tell her I owe her an apology. And maybe a cupcake."

TINMEN UP!

Rainbow Dash got her apology, just as Ana'Ra said he would do. She was shocked to just hear from after his tirade the day before, but was nonetheless willing to forgive him. She, too, has supposed that his stress level was at a peak and his behavior was just an outlet for the combined frustration and alienation he was feeling. Rainbow Dash, the self-professed coolest of cool, knew EXACTLY how that felt. She also promised to not attack like she did before. She made that promise with a blush to her cheeks.

In the weeks that followed, Ana'Ra began to work in an around Ponyville. ONe day, he would be out at Fluttershy's cottage, trying to convince Harry the Bear that the medicine in his hand was safe and tasty for ursine folk. (Safe, yes, tasty, maybe not so much.) The next day, he was helping Rarity with repairs to the Boutique. He got around, keeping himself busy while he waited for Celestia to come up with a solution to his unique problems.

One day, roughly a month after landing himself in Equestria, He was hard at work baling hay at Sweet Apple Acres. He and Big MacIntosh, Applejack's brother, where filling up the family barn. Ana'Ra openly admitted to being a city kid, a fact not lost on Big Mac.

"Haven't been on a farm before, huh?"

"Can't say that I have. It's more fun than I imagined it to be, even if I'm wearin' myself down to tinderhooks…"

"I woulda thought you city-folk kinda adverse to manual labor."

"Most are; I ain't. Builds character, ya know? 'Sides, it's better than watching 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.' What tripe…!"

"'Fraid I didn't foller that last bit."

"Don't worry 'bout it. 'Tis a waste o' time, if'n ya ask me."

"Eeyup."

A ringing tone causes Big Mac to stop. Ana'Ra follows suit, looking towards the Apple Family homestead. Applejack is on the front porch, swinging away on a triangle, which is the source of the sound.

"Soup's on, everypony!"

Both the stallion and the halfa rush towards the house, Big Mac slipping in easy, while Ana'Ra has to duck, squeeze, and twist his way through the door. He doesn't succeed in getting through. Halfway in and halfway out, he is caught, his frame stuck on the lentil.

"I'm sorry, sugar cube. Looks like yer gonna need to take this outside." Applejack laments.

"'It's cool. May need a little help getting unstuck, though…"

Applejack sighs, though she does so with a smile. She plants her head on one of his knees and pushes. When it its proven Ana'Ra can't be moved this way, Big Mac comes in to help. Between the two country ponies, Ana'Ra spills out of the doorway. He would have squashed Apple Bloom, if she hadn't ducked out of the way at the last minute.

"Plus ten for dodgin', Little Bloom. Ain't you supposed to be in school, though?"

"We had a half day today. Me an' the Cutie Mark Crusaders are meetin' later to try get our cutie marks!"

"Well, that explains that."

Applejack pokes her head out of the door at the sound of her little sister's voice, "Well, you better get on in an' get some supper, first. An' ya still got chores ta do."

"'Kay, Applejack!" Bloom says as she rushes into the hosue.

"Well, I reckon we should send yer supper to the barn, eh, Ana'Ra?"

Ana'Ra picks himself off the ground and dusts off himself off, "Can't think of a better solution. It's been forever an'a lifetime since I ate al fresco… This breeze feels good and don't think I mind a little outdoor ambiance."

Applejack smiles, saying, "You sure say a lotta funny words."

Ana'Ra calls up his best impression of Alan Rickman, "'And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.' Benefits of a classical education."

Applejack giggles at the impression, a rosette forming on her cheeks.

"I'll be in the barn, darlin'."

He trots over to the barn, where a hay bale is stacked just right for Ana'Ra to sit on. He plops onto it, minding his hooves. His legs are seemingly longer now then when he was human, making him far lankier than before. He was beginning to feel a bit like the Victorian Era maids, who had to sit in a certain fashion or be ostracized from society.

"I brought yer supper." Applejack says, coming around the corner of the barn doors.

Ana'Ra jumps with a start, but settles down, saying, "Dag, Ayjay, way to give a guy cardiac dysfunction!"

"Didn't mean ta scare ya. Kinda thought you were all ready a eat."

"Aw, no worries. Now, watta we got here? Collared greens, tomatoes, garlic croutons, and, do my eyes deceive me, blueberries?"

"Eeyup!"

She places his supper dish in his hands, and in quick fluid motion, plants a minute peck on his cheek.

"Somethin' to think about…" she says, and adds a wink.

Ana'Ra is left to sit there, completely nonplussed.

"Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die: Into the Valley of Death rode the six hundred."

Several days the Applejack Incident, Ana'Ra was helping Fluttershy with some much needed repairs. A surprise storm swept through the Everfree Forest the night before. Fluttershy's cottage survived with damage minimal but her chicken coop and other animal pens were total wrecks. Ana'Ra was erecting new fences and fixing shingles back on shelters while the animal wrangler handled her lost and frightened charges.

He was just putting the finishing touches on the reptile house. The wood siding had been ripped off in the gale winds and he was replacing those and adding paint when he saw Fluttershy disappear into the woods. He remembered her admonition to steer clear of the forest proper; he didn't know why she wondered into it willingly but he felt she shouldn't have gone in alone. He tacked up one more plank of wood for the building, then followed Fluttershy int the wild.

He caught sight of her not three minutes after entering the forbidden woods. She was making her way down a path that led further and further westward. A minute or two of walking in her wake and saw where she gone to. In the midst of the Everfree was a clear pool of water, supplied by a running waterfall. The place was secluded due to a large patch of brambles that protected the place. As he surveyed the grounds, he saw Fluttershy swim into the depths of the pool. She waded out far into the depths before dropping behind the waterfall. He lost sight of her there.

Following the shoreline to a point where he see past the waterfall, he saw something he never thought he would witness. Fluttershy was laid out on an outcropping behind the falls. Her mane and tail were sopping wet, as was her coat, but those weren't the only things soaked. Out of fascination, Ana'Ra watched as she brought a hoof to her dripping marehood, rubbing the swollen mound of her sex in a rhythmic motion.A minute passed, then two, a whole ten minutes passed as he lay witness to Fluttershy masturbating. He was wholly unaware that he, too, was abasing himself.

He wasn't sure when it happened, but sometime between the moment she touched her labia and the first of her climaxes he managed to whip out his penis. It was throbbing and erect, pulsing maddeningly with Fluttershy's self-arousal. Ana'Ra had never in his life touched himself this way and his first stroke sent ripples of pleasure through him. While she moaned and panted, he grunted quietly as he continued to stroke. Before he could climax, though, Fluttershy became aware of a presence near her sanctuary. He froze with both fear and shame as she stood up on her hooves and checked the grounds around.

"H-hello, is anypony there?"

Ana'Ra didn't want to answer. He didn't know how to explain himself if the golden Pegasus. He very well couldn't say the truth; watching somepony in an act of intimacy was not socially acceptable.

"Hello? Anypony, somepony, nopony?"

Still, Ana'Ra refused to answer.

"Ana'Ra, is that you?"

SHIT!

Ana'Ra had no choice now. He was caught and no explanation would convince the Pegasus otherwise of why he was here.

"I'm here," he said, stepping out from a thicket of brambles, his erection partially covered by foliage, "Listen, Miss Fluttershy, I can explain…"

She giggled, oblivious to his current state of duress.

"Would you come here? If- if you want."

Ana'Ra came as bidden, using a small patch of shoreline to meet her behind the waterfall.

"Y-yes, Miss Fluttershy?"

In a sultry whisper, she asks him, "Did you enjoy the show?"

He said nothing, but his face flared up as heat rushed from his member to his head.

Fluttershy toed a piece of the outcropping, her face in a grin of sheer delight, "I was hoping you would find this place. I come here in order to unwind. Oh, sure, a spa treatment with Rarity can be relaxing, but sometimes I need a little more than that to truly get relaxed."

She traced his aching member with a hoof, lightly pressing on the veins that filled it with blood.

"To be perfectly honest, I've always wanted to be with a fine stallion. I just never had the courage to talk to one. You know, timid little Fluttersy? I've also never been with a stallion before… It's kinda embarrassing because even Rainbow Dash has slept with a stallion, well, he was really colt, just like she was just a filly back then, but still! Then you came along. I've- I've never felt this way about anypony before. Well, there was that time in college when I had a thing for Rarity…"

"Fluttershy, are you gonna go on, or are you gonna kiss me?" Ana'Ra asks.

She needs no further prompting. Soon, half-pony and Pegasus are legitimately sucking face. Fluttershy has had some practice, as Ana'Ra soon finds. The pair make out as the waterfall rages on, all thought bent on each other. After a few minutes, Fluttershy breaks away, her face flustered and her breath shortened.

"Ana'Ra, I know you aren't a proper stallion, but would make me very happy and make me a proper mare?"

"I would be honored." he says.

Fluttershy turns to reveal her swelling sex and Ana'Ra notes that her labia is now three times the size it was when she was touching herself. His erection, in turn, is even more turgid than it was a moment ago.

"Remember, this is my first time, so please, be gentle."

"As you wish, milady." he replies.

He straddles her hip, his manhood dangling away from her. His hands grasp her flanks and he raises himself just enough to where the head of his member is just touching her revealed genitals.

"This may hurt a little. If it gets to be too much, let me know."

Ana'Ra slides his erection slowly into Fluttershy, easing his length along her sopping core. She doesn't wince or grimace the whole time; she truly is trooper for taking his entire length. When he has himself inserted all the way tot he root he stops. He asks her if she's okay so far and she tells him she's alright. He then rears back, reminding himself that this a lot like the doggy style position except he is making love to a pony, not a woman. Memories of Natalie flood his mind, but they are muddy, fuzzy. He banishes them for the moment, sure that if he continues to linger on them, he would not have the wherewithal to continue.

He thrusts back in, at quarter speed at first. He builds a pace that she she can handle and when she asks for him to go faster, he hardly hesitates. Soon, the pair are bucking into each other, lost in the bliss of sexual congress. She has lost count on the number of ecstasies she has had. He is pounding into her with wild abandon, all but oblivious to the world around him that isn't Fluttershy. When her final climax comes around, Ana'Ra finds he can no longer keep himself pent up. With a final thrust and a wailing, moaning grunt, he expends himself into her core, spilling load after load of his precious seed.

Spent, exhausted, the pair collapse onto the outcropping. Fluttershy is searching for breath; her last orgasm cleared out all the air in her lungs. Ana'Ra is exhausted and his legs feel like jelly laced with lead. It's a wonder he is even conscious. A heaviness comes over his eyelids and before he can stop, he is fast asleep…

Stand back; Imma gonna try SCIENCE!

"Ana'Ra, Ana'Ra, are you awake?"

Ana'Ra is startled alert by the soft, silken voice. His eyes are bleary but he can tell by the diminished light in the day that several hours have passed. His hindquarters are sore from laying on the outcropping and his mouth has formed a cotton-like texture.

"Bwah! What time is it?"

"It's almost night fall. We must have dozed after…"

Ana'Ra nods. His memory is sometimes suspect, but on this, he has complete recall.

"We should be heading back. We don't wanna be out here after dark."

Fluttershy nods, saying, "Yes, we need to get back, quickly. Follow me; my trail is the one that leads here safely. We should still be able to see it with whatever light is left."

They both stand up, Fluttershy on four hooves, Ana'Ra on two, and they follow a path that is clearly marked. It appears that Fluttershy has used this path many times in the past. Once past the brambles, they begin to talk. For most part, the talk is light. There is a subtext hidden in their speech. Both want to acknowledge what they just did. Neither knows how the other feels. Their path is uncertain, but there one thing they both know, it is this: one can not live without the other.

When they arrive back at the her cottage, she invites Ana'Ra to stay the night. He says he doesn't want to impose, but she insists. Because of the lateness of the hour, Fluttershy warns him not awaken her pet bunny, Angel. He doesn't know why she tells him this. All is made evident when they enter her cottage. He makes his way to the couch on the ground floor, but she touches his arm and gives him a wink. He follows her with his eyes as she heads for the stairs. She turns towards him and a "come hither" look is upon her. He grasps the notion firmly, following her up to her second story bedroom. Once there, all pretense of civility as lost as they make love again for the second time.

I'm going to count to three. There will not be a four.

In the morning, Ana'Ra is still wrapped up in Fluttershy's legs. She has dreamy look on her face, a look he recognizes as a "just got laid" look. He nuzzles her muzzle, staring intently into her cyan eyes. He mouths the words, "I love you." And she mouths back, "I love you, too."

Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs…

"Tia, is it true? Did you see him?"

Celestia confesses, "It's true. I did see him, Lulu. After all this time, he's come back."

Lulu cries, her tears flowing down her muzzle.

"I don't believe it! Was he okay? Did we save him?"

"Yes and no."

"What do you mean? Either we saved him or we didn't!"

"He's alive, Luna, oh so alive! But, White Rabbit Object- It's gotten a hold of him. He is already changing."

Gasping, Luna says, "No! Not Papa…"

"Don't fret, Luna. Father is alive. And very soon, he will be like us. Very soon indeed, we will be one big happy family again!"

Author's Note

Recommended listening: "Taxicab Messiah" by the Kidney Thieves (second section with Princess Celestia); "Name of the Game (Tig Ass Bitties Mix)" by the Crystal Method (third section, with Rainbow Dash); "The Bad Touch by The Bloodhound Gang" (fifth section, FlutterRa); "Show Me Love [Extended Version]" by t.A.T.u., (sixth section, moar FlutterRa); "These Words" by Natasha Bedingfield (seventh section); "Run, Daddy, Run" by Miranda Lambert and The Pistol Annies (chapter finale)

Ana'Ra starts getting used to new his new form. He is also starting to get some attention from the females of the native species… The pros and cons of his halfa state are also shown, so get ready to get your drama on! Also, if it isn't obvious, Ana'Ra speaks with a Texas drawl.

ALAN RICKMAN, BIATCH!

The Days Are Just Packed

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum.

"Stephanie, Stephanie, look. I have no hands…"

Ana'Ra was expecting hands to be were now there were a pair of hooves. For the last two weeks, he had awoken to see his familiar appendages. This morning, though, they were gone. Whatever the "changing palsy" was, it was potent. He was 100% pony. The idea that he would never pop his knuckles again struck him funny. His insistent giggling woke up Fluttershy from her sleep.

"What's so funny, Ana'Ra?" she said, her eyes still sealed against the morning light.

"I don't have hands anymore! Look, Flutters!"

The golden Pegasus did as asked and gasped when she saw the terminating ends of Ana'Ra's new fore legs.

"Oh, Celestia-!"

Ana'Ra just couldn't stop laughing. If he were to see himself in some second person view, he would think he'd gone insane or stark raving mad. The worst of it was that it felt good to laugh. It wasn't just cathartic, it was elevating; he was now part of the herd, his human guise now thoroughly stripped away. He would miss being the tallest entity in the room, though.

"Ana'Ra, what's wrong? Why are you laughing like that?"

He registered that Fluttershy was unnerved by his sudden elation. She thinks I'm gone. I'm wallowing deep in prattling lunacy! If he kept this up, Fluttershy would leave. Get a grip, boyo! Things are finally starting to get good here! He took a breath, held it, and still he laughed. Another breath, much deeper this time, followed by another… In through the mouth, out through the nose. That's a good The giggles were starting to fade. Her face was no showing less concern, as she saw he was regaining his composure.

"Sorry, Flutters. Think I mighta had a psychotic break there for a bit. I'll be okay; just gotta figure out how I'm gonna get outta bed…"

His first attempt to navigate as a fully equine creature was a hilarious failure. Instead of landing on his hooves, he tipped over and landed on his back. All the breath in him came out on a loud *Oomph!* He lay there stunned for several seconds, trying to right himself to no avail. Flutters make this look so easy… The golden Pegasus in question had just come around the bed they now shared. She was desperately trying to suppress a giggle.

"Give us a hand, Beloved?"

"Don't you mean a hoof?"

"Hand or hoof, doesn't matter. Help me, Flutters!"

Fluttershy walks over to Ana'Ra, watching ruefully as the nu-stallion flails his legs about. She then takes hold of one his forelegs and pulls him to his side. From here, Ana'Ra catches some footing and after a wobbly ascension, is now on all four. He stands there a while; it appears this new perspective is not quite what he imagined.

"Wow, everything looks so much bigger now…"

"I guess it would if you lost more than half you height."

Ana'Ra nods, still quaking on his new legs. The grumble of his stomach told him he would need to get used to these appendages and soon unless he like starving to death. He tried a tentative few steps before falling flat on his stomach. He thought himself lucky that he didn't break any ribs, though a second instance of lost breath wasn't very pleasant.

"This is gonna take some getting used to."

"I could always bring breakfast up here. Only if want to." Fluttershy remarked.

"Nope, nope, that ain't gonna do. I need to get a handle on these things, post haste. If not, I'll be rendered an invalid, and I'd rather not put you through that," he said, then whispering, he added, "especially not after last night."

Fluttershy's eyes became round, like dinner plates; a deep blush spread over her cheeks and nose. The memory of the night before floods her mind. She can recall how deeply Ana'Ra furrowed into her, the rhythmic pumping that had her squealing like a filly. She can remember his hands groping over her body… And when he found that ONE spot just where her wing connects to her flank… The euphoria that little touch had on her was enough to make her spasm in delight. No, she didn't think she could suffer Ana'Ra as an invalid.

"Alright, mister, you need to stand up, right now!" she commanded.

Ana'Ra, still sprawled out on the floor, jumped to attention. He knew enough of his beloved Flutters to know that when pressed, Fluttershy had a commanding presence that few save Discord could disobey.

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!"

Upright again, Ana'Ra now followed Fluttershy's orders on how to walk with four hooves. It wasn't really all that hard, but there was a substantial learning curve. He was once human; the idea of traversing on all fours was a daunting thought. But he would need to learn somehow. If newborn foals can stand and walk within minutes of being born, then by God, he was going to walk unassisted by the power of his own four hooves!

"Okay, I think I got this," Ana'Ra said, as he stood with his new legs straightened, "how bout we get breakfast now?"

That's the remarkable thing about life: it's never so bad that it can't get worse.

Time has a funny way of making itself felt. Six weeks ago, Ana'Ra was just getting tot he idea of walking on four hooves. He now could run as fast as Applejack and was nearly as agile as Rainbow Dash. He was quickly becoming accustomed to living life as a pony. He was even considering a new name for himself. "Ana'Ra" was coming cumbersome; it was a reminder of his human days. With the assumption that he will never return home, he figures the best that he can do is get himself fully acclimated to Equestrain life. He hadn't yet gotten his cutie mark yet, but he wasn't worried about this. It would come when it came.

On this day, Ana'Ra and his friends were basking in the light of a glorious spring day. The Weather Teams had cleared the sky so the sun shone brilliantly over Ponyville. The wind was sweet with flower blossoms and the air was warming rapidly. He and Fluttershy were laying on a picnic blanket, serving each other strawberries. Princess Twilight and the rest had only recently (like, two days ago) that he and the golden Pegasus were dating. It was quite likely the best kept secret in Ponyville. The degree of which there dating was never revealed; Flutters was certain Twilight or Rarity would be appalled if they found they were sleeping together. Not that this part of their relationship was in danger from discovery. Ana'Ra would make his trips to Fluttershy's cottage seem like legitimate business and very ponies were any wiser of the afternoon trysts they would have.

And of course, Ana'Ra was now in regular correspondence with Princess Celestia. The co-monarch of the realm gave him regular updates on the research she and her sister were doing to reserve his ponification and return him back to his home. Truth be told, though, Ana'Ra was now so disinterested in going back that he wouldn't mind if they failed in their efforts.

"Hey, Ana'Ra, wanna play some catch?"

A shadow that could only be Rainbow Dash flashed past the pair. When the sky-colored Pegasus dropped in front of them, she was holding onto a football. A mischievous glint showed in her eyes. Ana'Ra recognized it as the gleam of competition.

"I would, but Flutters and I are enjoyin' the breeze. Maybe some other time."

"It's okay, Sol," Fluttershy said, making use of Ana'Ra's chosen nomme-de-plume, "I don't mind."

"Are you sure, Flutters? This was supposed to be our day…"

"It's okay. Besides, Dashie is just going to pester you until you play."

"Yeah, Ana'Ra! You two have plenty of time to be all lovey-dovey with each other. I'm only talking about a half hour or so, before Scootaloo arrives."

"Okay, I'll play," he says, then kissing Fluttershy, he tells her, "be back, my goddess. Don't go nowhere."

Fluttershy nods and Ana'Ra trots after RD. The get to the middle of the field and start tossing the football to each other. Dash has a rather impressive arm, all things considered. Ana'Ra is forced to drop back deep to get her passes. On one throw in particular, he dives headlong to grab her pass. His slides into a landing, having successfully caught the ball. He tosses the ball back to Dash. She then tells him to go long. He needs no invitation to do so. She flings the ball far, far away from her. Ana'Ra has to use every ounce of speed he has to just to get under it. As the ball descends, He realizes he needs to make a jump to catch the pass. He presses himself into a ball and leaps for the pigskin. He catches it in mid-leap.

"I GOT IT! I GOT IT!" he shouts, then suddenly he sees that he is not going to be landing on the grass. Just as his back touches the ground, the grass and dirt below him crumble and falls into a darkened cavern. He lands hard a rough surface. His breath comes out in a *whoosh* of air. It takes a moment or two to recover but when he is back on all hooves, he realizes that something is not right. The walls of the cavern are not rough hewn, like a natural cave. No, they are certain artificial look to their construction and were eerily smooth. On one of them is a sign that shocks Ana'Ra to his core. It reads:

Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency; Research and Development Lab, Lake Ontario Site; Nanomechanical Weapons Ontogeny; Project: White Rabbit Object

Author's Note

Ana'Ra's transformation into a pony is complete. He has resigned himself to the fact that he may never go home. He worries for his daughters, although they seem far away. His relationship with Fluttershy is going great, if not perfect. Then he gets gut checked by a startling and gory revelation…

Short chapter is short. The next chapter is gonna be a wall of text like Where the Wild Things Are but with less clop.

Suggested listening:
"Roll It Up," by The Crystal Method, "Weapons of Mass Distortion," also by The Crystal Method, "Stand Up," by The Prodigy

Something Under the Bed Is Drooling

I dunno what's worse: the truth or a homicidal psycho jungle cat!

Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency; Research and Development Lab, Lake Ontario Site; Nanomechanical Weapons Ontogeny; Project: White Rabbit Object

Ana'Ra/Sol stared at the sign for several minutes; it could have hours and he wouldn't have noticed. The sign, though seemingly new, was aged and several deep cracks in the plastic told him that at one time, this place was hermetically sealed. Only recently did the elements invade here. The smell, though, was the worst of it. An iron-rich odor permeated the chamber, suggesting either this was a mining facility or worse, there was plenty of blood spilled here. He didn't want to look around; he feared he would see the most horrific of scenes he could imagine. So he continued to stare at the malediction printed in Nerf green letters on the wall. For all anypony looking at the scene could tell, Sol was looking at the jelly-filled Center of the Universe.

Dad, you have to get out of there! Something terrible has happened. Something about an experiment… Aggh! The pain- What is white rabbit object?

"And what did I say? 'I'm goin' for a looksee?' By the hands of the nailed up CHRIST!"

I don't think it's nice, you laughin'. You see, my mule don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

"Ana'Ra, are you all right? Where are you?"

The feminine voice originated from the surface. It was still some distance away. His friends must have just discovered he was missing. Sol/Ana'Ra was afraid… He didn't want to be in this place. Everything in here was- wrong. He also didn't want Twilight or anypony else in here. This tribute to human hubris had to sealed away again, locked up tight and buried deep in the earth to cover up the stain… What light Sol was getting from the hole he made was now diminished. One of the mares had found his not-so-brilliant hidey-hole.

""Sol, are okay? We saw you fall through this hole and-"

Fluttershy's words come up short, for she sees what Sol is now adamant to not gaze upon.

"Fluttershy, what's wrong?"

Twilight's helpful tenor comes through from the hole in the ceiling and Sol has a hard time keeping the thought of Ceiling Cat out of his head. If only he wasn't trembling so much…

"Ana'Ra, what's up? Are y- HOLY MOTHER OF CELESTIA!"

Twilight's exclamation draws Sol from his contemplation of the Universal Jelly Roll. He looks up and instantly regrets it. Crowding the opening in the ceiling are Twilight, Flutters, and Pinkie Pie. They are horror-struck because they have seen what Sol has been trying to avoid seeing. Situated below the opening, a grotesque reminder of more barbaric times, is the skeletal remains of a human. Or at least, it was human… part of the right leg has been altered to resemble a pig's leg, replete with with cloven hoof. The left arm has been twisted into a shape the H.R. Geiger would find pleasing. Beneath this monstrous corpse is an ichor stain. Sol imagines that the poor fellow must have coughed up blood as his body was wrenched from a sapient form into- that.

"Sol- Sol, w-what is this- this p-place?"

Sol doesn't answer. He has found more that will soon fuel his nightmares. Littered between lab benches and dead computer terminals are the bodies of those who once worked here. In the far corner, a female whose torso and head appear normal but whose arms terminate in a hand with elongated fingers. A membranous materiel stretches between those fingers. To his immediate left, a fellow with digitgrade hands and feet and the beginnings of a snout or muzzle on an otherwise human head.

The others have joined him in this nightmarish den. He can hear Pinkie and Ayjay, the two Earth mares, dropping down in a clatter of hooves. Rainbow dash swoops in, her wings raising a dust cloud that isn't entirely dust. (Applejack smashed into the skull of the first skeleton.) Flutters and Twilight come down gently, both terrified of the scene. Rarity, probably the most sensible of the lot at the moment, decides not to come down. That's probably for the best, Sol thinks, She would lose her lunch down here. That's exactly what Pinkie does after examining the room.

"What is this place?" Ayjay asks.

"This- this is a temple to Humanity," Sol responds, "this is place is a testament to human cruelty, arrogance, and hubris. This is the thing that should not be…"

"Did anypony get that?"

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie shrug their shoulders. Only Twilight has managed any semblance of understanding; the dawning horror on her face says it all.

"Ana'Ra, you know this place."

"I've never been- before," he answers, "but I know WHAT this place IS."

"Please let it be a cheesecake factory."

"I don't think this place serves cheesecake- EEP!"

"My name isn't 'eep!' It's Pinkie Pie!"

"She knows that, Pinkie!" RD admonishes, "she just almost stepped on this."

Dash lifts part of a severed arm into the light. Once she realizes what it is, she drops it, making a slight retching sound as it falls.

"Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate. 'Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.'"

"What are you talking about, Ana'Ra?" Twilight impugned.

"These are the Gates, yea, the very Gates of Hell. Where in the go the Damned and the Sons of Perdition. 'God have pity on such as we, bah-yah-bah.'"

Fluttershy, noting Sol's despondency, floats next to him, concern etched in her face.

"Sol, please, you need to get a hold of yourself!"

Shaking his head, Sol finally comes to grip with what is happening. His mind races with ideas, postulates, hypotheses, as fragments of an awful truth come to light.

"Flutters, this shouldn't be here!"

"What do you mean, Sol?"

"This- this is a weapons lab! The Devil's Lab… Whatever this 'White Rabbit Object' is, I feel- I feel it's tied to my coming here!"

"What are you saying, Ana'Ra?"

"I'm not sure yet. Too many pieces of the puzzle missin'- Pinkie, don't chew on that!"

Pinkie Pie had a clear piece of something acrylic in her mouth. She stop chewing on it when Sol ordered her to, but her saliva was still coating it.

"Huh? Wha da need dis fore?" the candy colored mare asked.

"That could hold vital information to what happened here. Bring that to me, will ya?"

Pinkie trots over to where Sol is, acrylic sheet in hoof (or mouth, to be accurate.) She gives it to Sol, he looks over the device with deep interest.

"Perspex is drooled on, chipped slightly in spots, but still usable… Battery is at- 43%. Don't think I'll get any videos off this thing… Will it work-?"

Twilight strolls over at examines the object just as intently, then she asks, "What is that?"

"It's a P-HAT. Portable Holographic Adjunct Tablet. They're are all the rage back home. Hmm, this one is a clone of the standard Samsung model… One of the mid-range variety units; versatile and economic… Not like mine at home, though. I spent two grand on that bad boy. It's top of the line, five star rated, can't get any better than that one. Still, a serviceable model… Let's power it up-!"

Sol presses a hoof to a curious green button in the top right corner of the device. In an instant, the acrylic glass springs to life, bringing up a display of icons and graphs the likes of which Twilight has never seen. In the top right corner of the display is a set of symbols. One of them looks like a warning.

"What does that mean, Ana'Ra?"

Twilight has pointed to a yellow triangle with an exclamation point in black residing in it.

"It's a warning. That tells me the battery is worse than I thought… Hey, was is-?"

Sol clicks on a n icon that resembles a piece of paper with a corner tucked. This in turn opens a document. A fair amount of it is redacted (thank you DARPA!) but a patch of text is still visible that freezes Sol's blood.

Testing of batch 909328.6c resulted in the total transformation of test subjects. "Pinkie," "The Brain," "Minnie," and "Mickey" were all successfully transmutated from common field mice into a vulpine-like entity. Unfortunately for the mice, the transformation proved fatal. Further testing will be required-

The screen went black. Sol growled in frustration; the battery was a lot worse then it said it was.

"Girls, I need to look for more devices like this-" Sol holds up the now dead P-HAT, "they're probably laying around the floor or on the desks. Would please help me? If you find one, inspect it thoroughly. If it still has a charge, there will be a green mark in the lower left hand corner. If not, that mark will be orange or amber. If it's broken, don't bother; it probably won't work."

With that, the mares spread out, searching through the detritus of carnage that rules the room. Twilight uses her magic to light the room while the rest go P-HAT hunting. After about ten minutes of questing, some thirty units are found. Out of that thirty, sixteen still have charge, five are broken, and the rest are useless. Sol directs them to place the functional ones on a nearby desk. He powers several on, but while waiting for them to go active, Twilight spots something…

"That- is one big door."

Sol looks up and sees what the Princess is looking at.

"That looks like a Type Five security door. Four sheathes, holographic lock, carbon-silica coated, magnetically sealed… this thing would survive a nuclear blast. I don't even want to know what they could be hiding behind a door like this. I do wonder what they were trying to keep out…?"

"Forget that!" Dash says, "What if this is supposed to keep something in?"

"I don't even wanna imagine-!" Applejack exclaims.

"Let's not," Sol adds, "there's still much we don't know here. Twilight, can you direct your horn light over here? Thanks."

One of the P-HATs on top of the pile that was gathered was fully activated. Sol could see numerous document icons littering the tablets desktop. He clicked on one that looked particularly interesting to his eyes.

URGENT: LAKE ONTARIO FACILITY IS UNDER COMPLETE LOCK DOWN. CONTAINMENT BREACH OF CYLINDERS E994-CC AND E995-CC HAS RESULTED IN LEAKAGE OF BIO HAZARDOUS MATERIALS. ALL PERSONNEL ARE REQUIRED TO WEAR FULL HAZMAT GEAR AT ALL TIMES.

Sol found this declaration disturbing, but the next document he opened was more so:

We're dead! We're dead! Game over,man, game over! White Rabbit Object got loose in the deep freeze containment area. We've sealed the doors and all the standard security protocols are up and running… This shit is crazy, man! I don't know how, but it's gotten past the hard light interdiction, the plasma walls, and security doors may as well be paper for all the good they do. Already, Sections 5,7,9,11-23 are compromised. The effect of WRO is- grotesque! Better to shoot oneself than get mutated by this shit! I may just take that route; Section 99 is already seventy-five percent contaminated. Gotta find a gu-

There was no more to the entry, it just simply stopped.

"They were working on nanotech here. Something with transgenic properties… What in the fuck were they thinking…?"

"Sol?"

Fluttershy was looking over Sol's shoulder, taking in all the details. Her face was wearing the dueling emotions of concern and curiosity.

"Flutters, this place- it- Christ, why do I get the feeling I'm in the middle of an 'Adventure Time' episode?"

"Sol?! You're scaring me-"

Sol turns to Fluttershy, a reassuring smile on his face.

"I'm sorry, Flutters. I didn't to scare ya. There's something here- It's a puzzle an' I need to put the pieces together. Trouble is, some the pieces have been eaten…"

"I think I understand," Twilight says, "This is a human facility. If this place is here, in Equestria, then- *GASP!* But that doesn't make any sense…"

"Wait-a-minute," the farm mare declares, "Let me see if I get this right, Twilight. If Ana'Ra was human and this place was run by humans, then Ana'Ra- never- left- home…""

"Making more sense now, Twilight?"

The Princess, thoroughly confused, shakes her head, saying, "But how-?"

"Twilight, don't you remember? It was only about a thousand years ago that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna defeated Discord and reunite the three tribes; before that the three tribes founded Equestria in a fertile valley a few decades before that; so, if humans were here before that than Ana'Ra or Sol or whatever he's called, has never left home!"

*SQUEAK!*

"That mare is surprisingly intuitive. Wonder if its all that sugar she eats? She does have a point. This missive here, about the breach, its dated May, 17th, 2016. That's three months prior to my deployment to Myanmar. The timeline is a little wonky, but I do believe that Equestria and my Earth are one in the same!"

"Okay, let's say I except Pinkie's assertion for a moment. What does that mean, for Ana'Ra, for Equestria, for us?"

"Well, near as I can tell, White Rabbit Object was deployed sometime after this place was buried. If that's our reference point, than it can be assumed the WRO mutated the rest of the human populace. For how long, I dunno. It could have taken years, decades, centuries even. I could very well be in my own future!"

"But how do we know for sure?" Twilight asks.

"Only one pony would know roughly a thousand plus years of history. One pony who has witnessed everything that's ever happened since the first day of this kingdom. Let's ask Princess Celestia."

Author's Note

And the hits just keep on coming… Ana'Ra discovers an abondoned testing facilty and learns, once for all, what White Rabbit Object is.
Recommend listening: "The Sound of Silence," by Simon & Garfunkel; "Nobody's Home," by Avril Lavigne

There's No Place Like 127.0.0.1!

On second thought, let's not go to [Canterlot.] It is a silly place.

Princess Celestia had just finished reading her faithful student's latest missive. Actually, that that fifth time she read it in the last hour. For the co-ruling monarch of the land, she was surprised that her protege would write a letter so full of demands. What shocked her most, though, was the content of those demands. Princess Twilight had sought for answers in to the presence of an antediluvian human facility discovered buried at the fringe of the Whitetail Wood. She also called for any knowledge her mentor had of a material referred to as White Rabbit Object.

That was the point that put dread in Princess Celestia's heart: that foul weapon that should have never been used. Of her many actions since becoming the premier leader of the planet, those she did in the wake of the horrible piece of ordinance were the ones she hoped to never, ever repeat. She and Luna did everything in their formidable power to stop the blight, though some were lost in the madness of the times and others… No, she did not want to go back there. That was so many lifetimes ago… She still had that memory- the sound of a pistol discharging- the screams of abject terror- they still haunt her. A failure if there ever was one.

She seriously didn't need to be falling back into terrible memories, not now of all times. He was coming. She wanted above all else to be in the present when he came. If only to look into the golden eyes of his again and feel, for the first time in centuries- home.

I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.

Sol was roused from- what, he couldn't tell. He was breathing hard and his brow was soaked in sweat. He felt a flush in his face that had nothing to do with embarrassment. And why was his throat so sore? He hadn't even realized his eyes were closed until they opened of their own accord. He was in the throne room with no memory of having gotten there. This was not the most disturbing of the news he was no processing; the scene before him was one he had hoped wasn't real. The vision before him was a shattered and weeping Princess Celestia. What in the fuck just happened?

His memory of the last several minutes was a blank, a complete an utter void. He remembers walking into Canterlot Palace, he remembers seeing the guards… After all of that, he can't recall anything until just now. Did I say something to upset The Princess? Sol thinks, I can't remember- Whatever it was he uttered, Princess Celestia is visibly upset. He doesn't think he's ever seen her cry like this. He doesn't think ANYPONY has ever seen her cry like this. He sought now, with every fiber of his being, for the words that seemed to cut The Princess to the quick. And he hoped he could take them back…

Before he could ask her, though, she run off from her royal seat, cantering out of the throne room at top speed. The Royal Guard followed dutifully, giving him baleful stares as they proceeded out. He didn't understand… When he turned, he saw Princess Twilight and her friends. (Ponies he now considered his friends, too.) The look on their faces was not what he hoped. Every one of them looked at him contemptuously. Dash glowered at him; Rarity was on the verge of tears herself; Applejack was fighting mad and was only held back by Pinkie Pie and Twilight.

"How could you?!" the Purple Princess asked.

Sol had no answer for her. They turned to leave, all but Fluttershy. She did not follow, instead, she came closer to him, eyes swimming. She sniffled, obviously rent between two choices. She opened her mouth a few times, unable to speak.

"Flutters, what's wrong? What happened?"

She attempted to speak again, then bawling loudly, she turned about and ran.

"Flutters-?"

There was now no pony in the throne room but himself. He was lost and confused. He had no idea what had just transpired. His mind was fuzzy… Something happened, something that not only upset The Princess, but also his friends as well. He didn't know what it was, which was the worst part. He couldn't want to return to Ponyville. He might not be wanted to in Ponyville anymore. Hell, he probably wasn't wanted anywhere within sight of anypony, once word of this got out. Ashamed, for what he couldn't tell, and feeling abandoned, Sol walked the halls of the palace, alone. He did so for quite some time; to him it felt like an eternity. It was probably no more than a few hours, for the light in the day was diminishing. Still, for him it felt magnitudes longer.

Along the corridors he went, lost in mind and in thought. He encountered no others ponies, save for the Royal Guard. Even these ponies gave him a wide berth. Something he had done caused them all to steer clear of him. It worried Sol that they would react this way; previous visits were met with much greater hospitality.

"Come with me."

The words came from a pony Sol hadn't met before. He stopped his mindless wandering to see who had spoke. It was a mare with a sapphire coat. Her mane was the magnificent hue of cobalt and resembled, to Sol's eyes, like a star field on a flag. He thought she was beautiful but he sensed something about this mare that was both familiar and welcoming; it was most prevalent in her eyes. Sol had seen eyes like that before, but he was now not certain when.

"Sure."

He followed in the wake of the sapphire mare through a great many corridors. As they walked, he saw that the sun was now setting. They continued walking until the sun was nearly set in the west. This is when she stopped, having reached a balcony overlooking the east from a height above the Canterlot skyline.

"I usually do this by myself; there are few who watch as I raise the moon at night. Normally, only my Night Guard is here. You are the first pony to witness as I bring the night upon Equestria."

Recognition flashed in Sol's eyes as he recalled who his companion was.

"You're Princess Luna."

The Night Princess nods, then turns her head to face the twilight. With a burst of medium cobalt, she raised the Moon above the eastern horizon, causing night to fall over the land. As the Moon rose, he saw Princess Luna grow in strength; it was akin to the way Princess Celestia drew upon the Sun for power. In a way, Sol thought they both drew out the respective energies of their celestial bodies: Sun for Celestia, Moon for Luna.

"A blue moon, Princess?"

Luna nodded, saying, "They only happen so often."

She then beckoned Sol to follow her further. This time, it was not to higher climes within the castle, but to a chamber where a several poufs were laid out around a central table. Upon said table was a pitcher, chilled Sol thought because of the dripping condensation, a platter of oranges, and a bowl of sugarcubes.

"Would like to sit down?" Princess Lun asked.

"Yes, I would," Sol answers, "It feels like I've been on my hooves all day."

He promptly deposits himself on a pouf; The Night Princess follows suit on a pouf nearby. Her magic raises the pitcher and also magicks two flutes into existence. She pours the contents of the pitcher into the flutes; Sol smells the sour/sweet scent of lemonade. She tilts one of the flutes in Sol's direction. He nods and the flute lands in front of him. He slurps some of it down; he still hasn't gotten used to drinking without hands.

"I can imagine that this whole ordeal has troubling for you." Luna says.

"That it has."

"I can also imagine that there are times when you know not where you are or what you are you doing?"

"There too many of those than I care to count or admit to, Princess."

The Princess of the Night nods, and Sol sees a measure of understanding in her cyan eyes.

"Forgive me for being forward, Your Highness, but, have we met before? You seem- awfully familiar to me."

Princess Luna stares at Sol, unspoken memories flashing behind the cyan of her eyes. Sol is getting a powerful sense of deja vu that is hard to ignore. He feels, almost in an intimate way, that he knows Princess Luna. The sense is so strong that it damn near overpowers him.

"Would it be overzealous on my part to ask you if you're feeling a familiarity you can not link to anypony in your memory?"

Sol shakes his head, saying, "No, it wouldn't. It's like- I've known you all of my life or maybe most of it, but I can't remember when."

The Night Princess then conjures something else into the room: a small vial, no larger than a test tube filled with a creamy orange liquid. She unstoppers the vial with another burst of her magic, than sends it Sol's way.

"Drink this; it is a potion that relieve you of much confusion."

Sol does as bidden, draining the vial in one. Immediately, his memory clears, and to his horror, he remembers the vicious tirade he made against Princess Celestia earlier. Not just tidbits, but every agonizing second of it. He also remembers the vitriol that fueled his complaints against his pony friends. He struck each of them with accusations that he would never in a sober state of mind say to any of them, especially to Fluttershy.

"Oh, Good God, I didn't-! Did I say such things?! Wha-? My goddess… WHY DID I EVEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO FLUTTERSHY?! Oh, God, she'll never forgive me…"

"I think they may all forgive, once the realize it was not you who was speaking."

"Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

Luna doesn't answer him, instead she starts humming a tune. The tune is familiar to Sol; he has a feeling it was a song he sang or hummed to when he was human.

"I know that tune," he exclaims, "that's 'Scalliwag' by Gaelic Storm!"

"You do remember…" Luna adds cryptically.

"Wait, how do you know that song? That should have been years before your time-"

Again, Luna doesn't answer Sol's question. Instead, she tells him something about her father.

"When I was young, before my sister and I went to sleep, my father would read us a poem. Sometimes he would read for us a story, but he usually told us a poem. It was a beautiful poem, but mysterious all the same. I would like to recite that poem for you now."

Without an invitation to start or a indication that Sol was interested, she began.

"''Tyger Tyger, burning bright, In the forests of the night; What immortal hand or eye, Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

"In what distant deeps or skies. Burnt the fire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire? What the hand, dare seize the fire?

"And what shoulder, & what art, Could twist the sinews of thy heart? And when thy heart began to beat, What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain, In what furnace was thy brain? What the anvil? what dread grasp, Dare its deadly terrors clasp! "

Sol, entranced by her recollection, continues the poem:

"When the stars threw down their spears And water'd heaven with their tears: Did he smile his work to see? Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger Tyger burning bright, In the forests of the night: What immortal hand or eye, Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?"

Recognition washes over Sol as he looks deeply into Princess Luna's face. He then sweeps in close to her, grabbing her face with both of his fore hooves. Her guard arrives at once, spears flashing in the moonlight at the stallion that has dared laid a hand on their Princess.

"Stand down; all is well." she tells her protectors.

"Lydia…" Sol whispers.

"You do remember."

"I do, but I don't think I understand-"

Luna puts a hoof to his lips, quieting Sol.

"All will be revealed tomorrow. I must explain to my dear sister why you acted the way you did. I do not think it would be outside of polite for you you to send a letter of apology. No doubt that will clear your consciousness and alleviate her worries."

"Consider it done." Sol says, releasing his grip from Luna's face, "but- how did this all happen?"

Luna answers, "Claudia and I will tell you all, tomorrow."

To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

*Knock, Knock, Knock!* "Twilight?"†

*Knock, Knock, Knock!* "Twilight?"

The door of Golden Oak Library opens, the fury of one pissed off Alicorn filling the doorway in a rush. Princess Twilight is not in a good mood. Her attitude is less to do with late hour of Sol's arrival, though that does factor into it; it is more that he is here at all, considering his performance earlier in the day.

"What are YOU doing here?"

"Two things: One, I need to apologize to you and everypony else for happened back at Canterlot; Two, I need to write a letter to… someone important."

"Apologize?" Twilight questioned.

Sol nods, then says, "I- don't remember all that I said this afternoon. I don't- think I was in my right mind at the time. Even so, I want to say I'm sorry if I said anything insulting to you or that insulted your mentor. I met with Princess Luna and she gave me something that awoke a WHOLE STACK of memories for me-"

"When did you speak with Princess Luna?"

"Nearly forty-five minutes ago."

Twilight nods and lets him continue.

"Anyway, I didn't mean anything I said. What I said was- paranoia fueled delusions that came about from the difficulties involved in my transformation."

Twilight looked at him, confused.

"I'm sorry- There's a lot I don't fully understand. White Rabbit Object, my temporal displacement, my subsequent transformation, there is much that is just outside my scope of understanding. I need to exercise some patience before answers are forthcoming. But soon, I'll know and you'll know, everything that needs knowing about this all. Now, that said, would it be too forward of me to ask to borrow your adjutant?"

Twilight felt Sol was sincere in his apology and consented to his request, calling forth her assistant from the door.

"Spike! Wake up, Spike! Sol is here!"

Spike let it be known what he thought Sol should be doing; it was rather vulgar for the little dragon.

"Oh, I know I didn't hear that."

"I'll get him down here."

Twilight ascended the library stairs to the living space above as Sol entered the building. A fresh recollection of his days here in fever and chills struck him as Twilight came back down with her baby dragon in tow. He was less than pleased to see him here.

"Hello, Sol, are you here to insult us again?"

"No, Spike," Sol replied, "I came here to make amends," Sol then produces the largest piece of turquoise that Spike had ever seen, "But only if you want to."

Spike needs no further incentive. He grabs the turquoise out of Sol's hooves and devours it.

"Now if only you could bribe the rest of them…" Twilight deadpans.

"Don't need to. Already spoke with AreDee, AyJay, Pinkie, and Rarity. You , Spike and Flutters are the last on my list, though not the least important."

"Good thing, too! This turquoise is so fresh, I don't think it would have lasted another minute."

"Not with you around, Spike."

All three have a laugh, then Sol gets down top brass tacks.

"So, Spike, up for a little dictation?"

Spike scrambles for a quill and some parchment. After a moment or two, he's back, prepared to write.

"Ready when you are!

"Okay, here's what I want you to take down:"

'To My Little Lady, Claudia,

In light of yesterday's events, I feel it prudent to send this epistle begging for your forgiveness. It seems I was not in a mind of temperance the day before and I was speaking from a well of imagined slights. I have since seen your sister, Lydia, and managed to squelch all those misgivings. I would hope that we could meet in order to reestablish ties. It has been too long since we have seen each other in close company. I await your reply with baited breath.

Your father, Moexatl Ana'Ra.'

"Okay, done. Who is Claudia, by the way?"

"Someone I think you know."

"Don't you mean 'somepony?'"

Sol nods.

"Who do I send this to now, Sol?"

"Princess Celestia and before either of you ask, The Princess will know who I'm speaking to. Now, if ya'll excuse me, I need to see a man about a wallaby."

Several minutes later, Sol is back where it all began, at the place he has come to know affectionately as The Menagerie: Flutterhsy's Cottage. He had hoped to come here first, but then he found he couldn't think of what to say. His loss for words made the whole venture that much more the painful; there was much he wanted to be made known but he had not a clue of how to voice them. Still, being a Southern gentleman (his mother, while she lived, saw fit to teach him about proper manners, even if his father was one for manners or social niceties,) he knocked on her door. He was not surprised to see no lights in the cottage; he was the only reason she would spend any time awake at this hour.

He recalled a lovemaking session they had when, for a reason he could not discern, he and Flutters ended up on the ceiling while she climaxed. She hadn't been flying; her wings were were pinned under his forelegs. How that had happened, only Celestia and God knew; neither was telling. What he remembered of the incident was that Flutters flipped out; it appears he had fallen in love with another acrophobe. He calmed her, whispering assurances and telling her he wouldn't let go of her, no matter what. When his climax came and he filled her marehood to sopping with his seed, the effect of the gravity reversal ended and the two gently returned to the bed they shared. Good times. He cleared his throat, knowing that even at this hour, the Everfree Forest was filling the night silence with noise, and then spake.

"Fluttershy? It's me, Sol. Listen, about earlier, I- I sounded like a mean meanie, didn't I? I must have broken all the trust you placed in me, huh? Flutters I- I love you. Whatever I said, whatever insults or accusations I may have levied against you, I didn't mean them. What I mean to say is, I love you too much to ever accuse you of being anything than being the best damn thing to ever happen to a schmuck like me. I know I hurt you and truesbob, I shouldn't ask for forgiveness. What I should be doing is earning your forgiveness, step by step. I know- I know I haven't been that easy to get along with; I take a lot of getting used to. But if I spend my entire lifetime making it up to you, it won't be enough. I love you, Fluttershy and to the ends of the Earth and to the very pits of Hell I would go to prove it to you. That's- that's all I have to say. I have to go now. Got a meeting with Princess Celestia tomorrow and swallow my medicine, as it were."

Sol turned to go away. In his mind, he didn't think he rated a second chance. As for staying here, he didn't know if that was in the cards, either. But just as he was making his way back to the road did he see the lights in the cottage go up. Soon, a beam of candle light swept over him; Fluttershy's shadow could be seen crossing the ground beneath him.

"Sol-?"

He turned around to see Fluttershy in the doorway, Angel at her heels. She was wearing a cardigan nightgown, a present he gave her for her birthday. Her face was swollen with tears; to his estimation, she had cried all day and into the night.

"Flutters?"

The golden Pegasus runs to him, almost trampling him. Angel follows in her wake, a scowl etched on his rabbit face; the white hare and Sol have never been eye -to-eye on anything before.

"Sol! SOL!"

The midnight stallion laughs, happy to be in the presence of his goddess again; it feels like a million years since that had been.

"My goddess-!"

"Sol," Fluttershy says, though her normal whisper is sharpened by either tears she's shed or the happiness she feels, "I have something I need to tell you."

Sol smiles, and says, "What are you pregnant?"

The smile on Flutterhsy's face ebbs, replaced by a look of surprise.

"How did you know?"

Sol is no longer smiling; a dawning realization has just come to him.

"Wait, Flutters- You- We- have a bun in the oven?"

Fluttershy nods, saying, "I'm going to have a foal!"

For a moment, the two ponies stare at each other, lying in the grass heedless of the white hare or the wind which has picked up in the last few minutes. Soon, they are dancing like no one is watching, oblivious to time or tide or Angel's chittered protests. They enter the cottage together, the events of the last few hours all but forgotten. The promise of new life seals away any doubts for either of them. By the time the Moon has reached its zenith, the two are fast asleep in each other's embrace.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

The next morning, Sol, Princess Twilight and Company were headed back to Canterlot. The day before, the tumult of Sol's temper tantrum almost divided the mares from the stallion; now, with fences mended, they rise together on the Ponyville express. (Both Fluttershy and Sol expressed disinterest in taking to wing after the the last time. Sol, who still went by Ana'Ra then, tossed his cookies in mid-flight, splattering Rarity and Applejack with the remains of lunch. Sol still gets his balls busted for that.)

When the train comes to stop in the Canterlot Railway station, the Company is met with a small contingent of Royal Guards. Their orders are to guide Sol and his friends to the palace. Sol learned during the ride in that his outburst yesterday, he managed to overpower sixteen Royal Guards on his charge to the throne room. Apparently, the Captain of the Royal Guard wasn't going to make the same mistake again regarding Sol.

"Damn, I was a badass and I don't even remember it!"

The Company soon made their way to the palace. Along the way, the Canterlot ponies stared invariably at Sol. He heard a number of them whispering things like, "How could a blank-flank colt over power so many guards?" and other such comments. He had a good idea what they meant by "blank-flank." He had had many encounters with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Sometimes, he would join them in their misadventures. They had explained to him what the term meant. When he joined them one afternoon for a quest, he also encountered Silver Spoon and her counterpart, Diamond Tiara. As much as he wanted to correct the girls behavior towards his little filly friends, he knew they were just some misguided brats with too much attitude and not enough brains. (Not unlike a Chihuahua.) He did, however, managed to get them good with a clever little trick he has since not been able to repeat. Somehow, he managed to darken the area he was in and in the next minute, blind both mean fillies with a staggering burst of light. He wasn't sure if his rampage yesterday included such a stunt, but he certainly would take notice if somepony said he did.

When they reached the throne room, Sol noticed that the table he and Lydia had talked over was here. So, too, was Lydia, in all her finest royal garments. Celestia/Claudia was there, as well. Now the whole story of Sol/Ana'Ra's presence here would be told. He never felt more nervous in his life…

"Hello, My Little Ladies, how goes your war?"

Celestia answers, but not in the way the any of Twilight or her friends would expect, "Our war goes well, Father Dear. Doesn't it, Lydia?"

Luna nods, replying, "Yea, verily, our war goes well, Papa. And you? Does your war go well?"

"It's seen better days."

There is a brief pause, where Celestia motions for the ponies to sit. They all comply, even as the Royal Guard fall in ranks around the chamber.

"From your last communique, I can assume you received my expression of regret over the course of events yesterday?"

"Yes, I did. I had almost forgotten that you received a hot dose of White Rabbit Object. It has weakened since it was first activated, but it can still do on a number on a pony's sanity."

Sol nods and waits. In point of fact, Twilight and her friends are waiting as well. The Sister Princesses share a look. It is relief and regret blended beautifully.

"I guess I should begin… from Day Zero, when the Rabbit came out of it's Hole. Well, actually, a few weeks after Day Zero…"

It had been two weeks since you disappeared, Daddy. We tried to warn you about the rabbit, but it was lost in the confusion and then, before we knew what we were doing, we Displaced you. I thought we had Displaced you ten minutes in time. We would learn that it wasn't ten minutes, or even ten hours; ten days passed, and nothing came of it. We were afraid we killed you… It was the first time we had tried Displacement, Daddy. I hope you can forgive us… Anyway, two weeks after Zero Day and Earth was going to Hell in a hand basket. Somebody, we think it might have been someone from within Five Sides, decided to let the truth be known. People panicked. America was hit with Rabbit within days after it was out of its hole. And that's when things went insane.

Do you remember Matt Lauer? The co-anchor of the Today Show? Well, I saw his last broadcast and I do mean last. By that time WRO had made him into something like the Elephant Man. I wanted to laugh, but it wasn't remotely funny. Somewhere between commercials, he had bought a gun, a Beretta 92 I think. When the show restarted, he went on a rave, it might have lasted four minutes and not even Al Roker could get him to quiet it down. Then he pulled the gun out and shot himself. Right on national TV. There were brains and blood all over the studio; people out on the plaza saw it all. I remember seeing a little girl who was becoming a cardinal and her eyes, they were pregnant with tears…

Lydia never saw it. I made sure of that much. Then the door rang. Miss Abigail was gone; she went out to get some food one night and never returned. Poor Miss Abigail… We had to lock the doors and barricade the windows. We also had to open up the armory. The people in the neighborhood- Well, let's say there was a lot of looting. I heard rumors of a few girls getting raped by the Changed up the road- They thought if they made it with an Unchanged, they would get better. How little they knew… Anyway, Lulu and I thought it best to be armed. I used one of your H&K USPs and your Remington 12 gauge. Lydia took up a Taurus 9mm and one of your .30-06 rifles. We didn't know who was at the door, but we weren't taking any chances.

I unlocked the door but not the chain. I knew we could hold the door with chain on, but still put the barrel of the shotgun through the break. We were not going to get killed or raped. At any rate, the person at the door was an officer. He at least looked like an officer; his uniform was in tatters but not because of poor treatment. He was Changing, too; he was already most of a hawk. He had the beak and the feathers and one his arms, the left, was now a small wing. I saw he had a badge, Lydia saw that there was no cut line or tell tale Photoshop marks on it. It was laminated on both sides, by the look. He saw us staring through the gap, startled a bit, then cleared his throat.

"Miss Claudia Moe-ex-at-all?" he asks.

I say, it's Moe-ex-atoll, and yes, I'm Claudia. Whoever may you be?

He says, "I am Lieutenant Gruber, Army Chaplains. I'm afraid I have some bad news for you and your sister."

Lydia asks, What news do you bring, Lieutenant?

"Ahem," he says, "I'm afraid it's bad… We've not been able to find you father in Myanmar. He is not AWOL, we just can't find him. He has been declared Missing in Action, with a reservation for Killed in Action, I'm so sorry…"

You best be sorry, we say, for we should shoot you for bringing such sad tidings here midst this misery.

"Don't shoot the messenger!" says he, "I just came to inform you of your fathers status and to bring you this documents confirming his Missing in Action status. If you would just sign-"

I was angry; I didn't want to hear about you missing in action. Hell was right next door and I didn't want to burden myself or Lydia with further woe. I think he got the message and turned tail. Wouldn't you know it? He had a tail! After that, we decided we needed to find you. But we were changing, too. So we spent the next three years finding an antidote to the Rabbit. We never found it; we did find a counter-agent, which stabilized the transformations of the Rabbit.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

"While we developed the counter-agent, the world outside- fell apart. Nations divided, war and rumors of wars were abundant. It's almost as if the history leading to 'The Hunger Games' was coming to pass. Once we did have the counter-agent ready, and as soon as we were able to deliver it wholesale, we went out to look for you. We went everywhere. I think we spent- what, nineteen years, Lulu?"

"Nineteen years, give or take. You see, Papa, we were still Changing. The counter-agent, which you've had last night, can't stop the effect of WRO. You do know that the Rabbit is a transgenic nano-tech weapon with breeder capacity?"

Sol nods, "I got that idea from the Lake Ontario files."

"Well, we kept changing, just like you will. Seeing as both Tia and I are both Evolved, our changes were more drastic. Thus the wings and horns."

"But, I'm, or I was, human! I'm already an Earth pony; what more can I expect of this shit?!"

"Daddy, swear jar-"

"I can't believe you still remember that," Sol said, digging out ten bits from his saddle bags and placing them on the table, "the swear jar was your mother's idea of making me civilized…"

The bits disappear as Celestia/Claudia continues, "Nevertheless, Daddy, we can't brook such profanity here. Now, where was I-? Oh, yes, we searched for you. We hadn't realized we had Displaced you so far ahead in time. Meanwhile, the Earth we all knew was changing, too. The Polar caps melted, numerous governments arose and fell while we ran our errand."

"Remember the Eternity Bridge, Tia? The one that was supposed to span the ocean gap between Old Detroit and Seattle? That was a fiasco! Ask Tia about it sometime, Papa, she'll tell you all everything. Anyway- We came upon places were the Changing hurt a lot of people. We did what we could, helping like you taught us to. Eventually, people starting seeing us as goddesses, We tried to dispel that idea, but it stuck in the people's minds as things grew worse. Then came the asteroid… and Discord…"

"Asteroid? There was an asteroid?!"

"Yes, Papa, there was. It broke the world up. Europe, Asia, The Americas, Australia, all those continents are gone in any recognizable way. When the waters and the dust subsided, the world as we know it now was forged. It still needed a leader, though."

"That's were Discord came in. Mind you, we had discovered our new forms were nigh unto immortal. Almost two hundred years had passed since Day Zero. Discord- we don't know what he was before, but we believe he was a Psilord on the verge of going Akira‡ before Day Zero. After that, his powers stabilized with the changing, we think, but he never found a form to stabilize into. His- personality might be an effect of WRO wreaking havoc on his mind. Or maybe he was already stark raving mad in the first place; we just don't know. He set out to rule what was left of the sentient populace and we sought to thwart him. To do so, though, we needed to amplify our powers. Thus we devised the Elements of Harmony."

"Wait, Princess, are you saying YOU developed the Elements of Harmnoy?"

"My sister and I developed them yes, Twilight. The Elements are really a series of Psionic Amplifiers designed to draw out certain qualities in the psion they're assigned to. We were able to use them to defeat Discord because we were also Psilords with greater skill then he as well as the Elements. Then, well- I suffered a mind break. That's when I became Nightmare Moon."

"That was when I 'banished' Lydia to the moon. The reality of it was I sent her to the Lunar colony long established there. I assumed it was unaffected by White Rabbit Object. What Lydia has told me since her return was that the colony was another Rabbit testing sight. By the time she was sent there, the place was ruined. No one survived. Again, Lulu, I am so sorry. I thought there would be someone there to keep you company."

"It's okay, Tia. I was a terror to behold. Mind break, my little ponies, is not to trifled with. I was- well, dangerous would be an understatement. That is water under the bridge, now."

It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.

"So, now we're at the present."

"Yes. I had forgotten you in the hustle to unify the peoples remaining after the asteroid hit. It really should have killed us all, but it didn't. I would spend another millennium keeping peace in the realm. I honestly thought you were dead. Then, just after Lulu came back, Cadence was married, and I made Twilight a princess, you returned."

"You have to imagine our surprise, Papa. We both thought you hadn't made it, then all of sudden, you arrive! Although we thought that WRO wouldn't affect you. When Twilight told us you were ill, that's when we knew. You were changing as well. It's good that we invited Zecora here, huh, Tia? Her people still had records of the time before Zero Day. She is an accomplished herbalist who would recognize the signs. Did you send a note of thanks to Zebrica? Zevera would love to know that our cultural exchange has paid off."

"So, what now? You two said that I was still undergoing changes. Just what am I in for?"

"You will stay an Earth Pony for a while, Papa. Eventually, though, you'll gain Pegasi wings and shortly after that, a unicorn horn. It will take a while, especially if you're ingesting the counter-agent on a regular basis. It took Tia and I a good fifty years before we finalized. It might not take that long; we were burning though counter-agent almost as fast as we could make it."

"So, I can expect to become like you and you sister? Does that mean I'm royalty, too, now?"

"Yes, Daddy. If you want, we can announce it right now-"

Sol shakes his head, "It's a nice offer, My Little Ladies, but I'm afraid I have to decline. Before you object, I should state why I'm declining. One: I'm afraid I'll bring old skool male misogyny to this paradise you created. Two: I've seen what you've done in the absence of lesser men and I approve of what you've done. Your mother would be proud. Three: I have never sought to lead. Even now, all I want in my new life is spend time with my daughters. Four: This is probably not the best place to announce such things, but Fluttershy is pregnant. I proposed to her this morning, and she accepted. In a few weeks we'll be getting married. With a new family, I dunno if I would have the strength of mind to rule over a whole world. Lastly: if my transmutation is still affecting my mind, then it's sure bet I could lose my sainty and start pushing buttons. You know, the BIG, RED, DON'T PUSH ME buttons. You two have done fine without me, so I feel I'm leaving the world in competent hands."

There was a beat, then everyone at the table screamed, in unison, "FLUTTERSHY'S WHAT?!"

"Papa, would it be too much to ask if Tia and I could officiate the ceremony?"

It isn't Sol who speaks, but Fluttershy.

"We would be delighted, Luna!"

$DO || ! $DO : try; try: command not found

Sol woke up to a warm sun cascading its beams into the room. It glistened on the rack of vials set on the bedside table. Sol got out of bed, shook the sleepiness from his eyes and picked up his daily dose. Lydia had told him that for as long as his change was in still in effect, he would need the counter-agent, code named "Orange Juice Napalm," until such time as his transmutation was stable. She also informed him that, because he had Evolved genes (nascent genes, not active) in his genetic code, that it was expected that he, too, would be an alicorn. She just wasn't sure when.

He shot the serum down in one; the taste, like every time he took it, was horrendous. This, at least, would keep him sane and far less prone to rampages. For that, Sol was thankful. He did have to ask Claudia whether she preferred that he use their current names or the ones he remembers. True to her current moniker, Claudia felt it would be prudent to prevent mass confusion and advised her father to use their titles and current names. He agreed and started using those names from then on.

Flutters was still asleep. He laid a hoof on her shoulder, caressing her down soft coat of gold. She wasn't showing yet; according to good sources, she wasn't going to show for another five months. The anxiety he expected to turn up when he was told of her pregnancy never came. Must have used all that up when Claudia and Lydia were born. Good thing, too. Flutters is gonna need me to be her rock. Angel decided to show up at that moment. He would never come upstairs unless he was hungry.

"So, silly rabbit, are Trix still for kids?"

Angel cocks his head to one side. Sol can see, even without telepathy the EXACT moment that Angel decides that he is looney tunes.

"Get used to me, boyo. I'm gonna be around here for good long time. This filly and I are gonna be parents. Frown all you want, but I'm here to stay."

Fluttershy begins to stir as Sol finishes his speech.

"Is it morning already?"

"Yea, verily, 'tis is. Are we awake?"

"We're not sure. Are we… midnight?"

"Yes, we are."

"Then we're awake… and very nauseous."

"Should I hold back your mane?"

"Oh, yes."

Sol helps Flutters to the toilet, where she promptly vomits. He holds her mane back to keep it clean then afterward helps her downstairs and assists with the morning rounds. By the time noon comes around, Flutters is back to her old self and singing cheerily. Sol is right by her side, a smile on his face. There will be rest for the wicked. By hook and by crook, Sol will make himself a good life here. He has come full circle in his journey. He is home, because he never left… And God save the fool that tries to take that from him!

Author's Note

Finale tiem! Ana'Ra/Sol goes to Canterlot for answers and he is not in a good mood. When he confronts Princess Celestia, he may find that what he's been looking for has right in front of him all along. That is, if he can keep his sanity…

† Yes, TBBT fans, I went there.
‡Akira

Recommended listening: "Daughter's Lament," by The Carolina Chocolate Drops; "All My Life" by Foo Fighters; "My Immortal," by Evanescence; "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy,)" by Big&Rich; "The Cowboy in Me," by Tim McGraw; "Breakaway," by Kelly Clarkson