The Wandering Physicist Adventures

by WanderingPhysicist

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, Main 6, Applejack, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 630611

Scientist, nerd, mystery. Ponyville's newest resident has a lot of secrets to share with new friend

FAQ for this story: FiM Fic version and GDoc version (constantly updated and edited)

The Wandering Physicist is a mysterious traveller who just arrived in Ponyville. After establishing himself in the video game shop, he begins his encounters with the denizens of Ponyville. This sets off many ongoing adventures with his new friends. With a constant stream of visitors from around Equestria, friendship, family, twists and turns and legions of nerds are on the horizon.

Setting: Approximately a year after the end of the series.

Character References: On tumblr - On Deviant Art - Warning: Contains spoilers and peanut products.

To new readers: These were written as an ongoing serial. The individual story does not necessarily carry chapter to chapter, but the continuing story and events carry over. Feel free to skip around the chapters without losing too much continuity. If you do not wish to start at the beginning, Crossroads is a good starting location as it lays down the groundwork most of what follow.

As this was a serial, there is a cast list at the top of each chapter allowing the you to read only those with characters you are interested in. The main characters listed are those that appear in the majority of the chapters.

Arcs:
TWP vs the World: The Game Arc - A Trixie Situation to Final Boss - Trixie is on the run from some nasty elements in her family. Ponyville is placed in gaming illusions to force TWP to turn Trixie over.
The Physicist's Wife Arc - The Physicist's Wife to Confessions - Fluttershy gets injured and thinks she is married to The Wandering Physicist. She spends a month living with her love, but what do her friends think of the new Mrs Wanderer?
Adventures in Neighpon - Turning Neighponese to Tomodachi Sketch - The Wandering Physicists takes his friends on a trip to Neighpon. A series of interconnected adventures take place leading to love, fortune, action and a giant alicorn plushie.

Prequel to The Master Game
Prequel to Starlight Chronicles

Published 2012-02-25 10:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-29 12:00:08 UTC

Pest Control

Main Characters: TWP, CMC, Rarity, Applejack
Cameos: Pinkie Pie, Derpy Hooves
Original Write Date: October 1, 2011

The Cutie Mark Crusaders are gathered at Carousel Boutique. It is Rarity’s day to watch her sister, and she has locked them out of her idea room for some private time. The young fillies sit around a computer waiting for it to boot up. Sweetie Belle is at the keyboard.

‘Why are we doing this at my house again?’ Sweetie Belle asks.

‘Because Applejack said it would cost too much t’ run the tubes t’ our farm,’ Apple Bloom says.

‘And my dad says that the internet is a tool of the liberal devils out to take our civil liberties and our guns and impose Zebra Law on us,’ Scootaloo replies.

The other two look at their friend and scoot away a little. The computer finishes booting up. The three young fillies stare at the screen wondering what to do next.

‘So what now?’ Appleboom asks.

‘Maybe Rarity has something that can help us...’ Sweetie Belle says, opening folders randomly.

‘What is that!’ Scootaloo says, pushing in front of the screen. ‘What is “ya-o-i?” Open it! It must be important if it is hidden this much.’

Sweetie Belle opens the folder. It is full of images, text files, videos and digital comics. She picks one of the comics and opens it. Instantly, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom turn as white as their friend and cover their eyes.

‘Close it! Close it now!’ Scootaloos screams.

Sweetie Belle closes the file and turns her head to one side. ‘Why were those two male unicorns touching horns?’

‘Sweetie Belle... Those weren’ their horns.’ Apple Bloom starts. She pauses for a second. ‘And Ah ain’t explainin’ the rest t’ ya.’

‘That was horrible!’ Scootaloo thinks for a moment. ‘Let’s try one of those Googles I have heard about!’

‘There is only one Google.’ Sweetie Belle corrects.

‘What are you? A Wikipedia?’

Sweetie Belle grumbles and opens a browser. She goes to the Google front page. The doodle is an 8-bit image of a green pony with sword fighting monsters across a rocky landscape spelling out ‘Google’. It is captioned ‘25th Anniversary of Legend of Celestia’.

‘What should we search for?’

‘Uh... Cool!’

‘And amazing talent!’

‘And awesome ponies!’

‘And best cutie marks!’

Sweetie Belle types in the suggestions. Scootaloo pushes in again and presses ‘Feeling Lucky’ before Sweetie Belle can search.

‘Hey!’

‘What? We want to find our cutie marks fast, right? And I am feeling lucky!’

Sweetie Belle pushes her way back as the page loads. It is a video of some sort.

‘Hello everyone, I’m Electron Jim, and welcome to some more Super Mare-io Bros ROM hacks,’ the video’s host declares.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders watch the video for a few moments with growing excitement.

‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADER LET’S PLAYER! YAY!’

In his bed, The Wandering Physicist bolts upright in a cold sweat.

‘I just had the worst nightmare.’

Several hours later, The Wandering Physicist mans his shop, the newly-rechristened The Power Block. He is quite tired from a very rattling dream he had that morning. He could not get back to sleep so he decided to open shop early. Fortunately, it is a slow weekend with no major launches scheduled, and he is able to just take it easy. Very easy. Just three small customers...

The Cutie Mark Crusaders have been scouring the store looking for the perfect game to try to LP. They showed up early and the groggy store owner let them in. Despite hours of looking, they have yet to find a game to their liking. Surprisingly, they have kept their tempers and have not fought once. Well, not too vocally and physically.

‘We should totally get this one! Look! The hero looks just like Rainbow Dash!’

‘But that is a racing game. And racing games are booooring.’ Sweetie Belle complains. ‘Besides, it is my allowance.’ She pauses to think. ‘Why couldn’t you get any money from your families too?’

‘Ah asked, but mah sister said Ah had t’ get a job if Ah wanted money.’

‘And my dad said that video games are brainwashing tools that the Neighponese are using to take over Equestria so they can take all of our tax money and give it to their godless emperor.’

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom are fairly certain their friend just said something incredibly wrong but choose not to correct her. They go back to looking at games. Apple Bloom spots something higher up. She tries hard to see what it is. Scootaloo notices Apple Bloom and starts looking, too. Seconds later, Sweetie Belle joins in.

‘What do you think is up there?’ asks Scootaloo.

‘Our destiny.’ Apple Bloom replies. ‘Now give me a boost.’

‘Shouldn’t we get the clerk to help us?’ Sweetie Belle asks.

Apple Bloom looks over and sees The Wandering Physicist sleeping at the counter. ‘He seems busy. Now help me up!’

The other ponies come over and Apple Bloom starts trying to climb them. The others shout as their faces get stepped on. Apple Bloom keeps looking, but she still cannot quite see what see is looking for.

‘Ah need t’ get higher.’

‘We can’t get any higher.’

‘What if ya try stackin’ y’all?’

‘Why don’t you try standing higher?’

‘Fine.’

Apple Bloom tries standing with just her hind legs on the backs of her friends, but the action upsets their balance. She can almost reach the game if she can just keep her footing... At that moment, a big yawn fills the shop as The Wandering Physicist wakes. He sees the potentially dangerous situation unfolding.

‘What the frak!’

The Wandering Physicist dashes around the counter and runs toward the now teetering Apple Bloom. He reaches the tower right when Apple Bloom falls. He catches her on his back as he safely pushes the other two away from the displays. He dumps her unceremoniously by her friends.

‘Drat. Almost had it.’

‘Just what the heck were you thinking?’ The Wandering Physicist growls, turning to the three young fillies. The Wandering Physicist does not like to admit it, but he has a horrible temper. Once he gets set off, you have to hope that your deity of choice exists and is in a caring mood.

‘Ah jus’ thought...’ Apple Bloom starts.

‘No, you’re wrong. You weren’t thinking. Did any of you even think to ask me for help?’

‘Told you,’ Sweetie Belle says, shoving Apple Bloom.

‘Shut up! You could have broken something very valuable and very expensive. Since I highly doubt you have a way of paying for it yourselves, I am sure you parents would be as pissed as I am to have to pay for what I would assume would be your millionth mistake.’ The Cutie Mark Crusaders are getting a little scared at this point. ‘If you try doing something like that in here again, I’ll save your parents the trouble and take care of you myself!’ The Cutie Mark Crusaders’ eyes grow wide in fear. The Wandering Physicist trots back to his post, still visibly upset. He turns back slightly. ‘Oh and they wouldn’t find your bodies.’

At the last idle, angry threat, the Cutie Mark Crusaders scream and run out of the shop, nearly hitting an arriving mailpony. They keep running and screaming, disappearing out of sight long before disappearing out of sound. The mailpony watches as the girls run away before continuing with her business at the shop.

‘You shouldn’t let your temper get the better of you, Chief,’ the walleyed mailpony says, setting a stack of packages to the counter.

‘Sorry, D-Squared. I just freak when it comes to protecting the older, rarer games.’

Derpy Hooves holds a clipboard out to The Wandering Physicist. ‘Hoofprint here.’ The Wandering Physicist prints the document. ‘And do you have my game?’

The Wandering Physicist gets out a copy of Mass Effect 2. ‘Want the guide?’

The Wandering Physicist and Derpy laugh heavily at the question, the in-joke being that she was a genius at RPGs and could probably beat the game in her sleep. After the laugh, Derpy takes the game under her wing and heads out. The Wandering Physicist yawns, stretches and starts putting away the packages.

Later in the day, The Wandering Physicist has nearly fallen asleep again and is resting his chin on the counter. After the encounter with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and the delivery from Derpy, only a few more customers came to the shop. He considers closing early to take an early dinner and going back to bed when the shop door slams open. An orange mare with a blonde mane stands in the doorway looking furious. She marches over to The Wandering Physicist.

‘Ah need t’ speak with the manager,’ the new pony demands.

‘Yo,’ The Wandering Physicist replies.

‘Well, one o’ yer employees was very mean t’ mah little sister earlier.’

‘I can assure you that whatever was said was completely justified and your sister just needs better supervision or better parenting in order to fit into society as a decent pony.’

‘Why you... Wait. Y’all were the one that was mean t’ her aren’t you?’

‘I don’t give them hell. I just tell them the truth and they think it is hell. ... Trupony said that.’

‘Ah don’ care ‘bout yer fancy quotes from ponies Ah ain’t never heard o’. Ya threatened mah sister and Ah aim t’ correct that mistake o’ yours.’

The Wandering Physicist groans as he finally stands up again. ‘Did you happen to get the full story? Like why she was in trouble in the first place?’

‘Uh, no. But y’all threatened mah...’

‘Blah, blah blah. Did she tell you that she was standing on her friends while reaching for a rare game? And that they were about to fall on a display containing discontinued, therefore rare and expensive, consoles? Did she?’

‘Well, no, but...‘

‘I know you are well-meaning and that I did lose my temper more than I should have, but would you rather have had to pay for hundreds of bits of damage to replace the damaged or destroyed items?’

‘Well, that woulda been a big hit t’ the farm’s expenses... but she is mah sister, so Ah should be the one t’ punish her if she causes trouble.’

‘I agree. I really overstepped my bounds. Please accept my apology.’ The Wandering Physicist bows a little.

Applejack is confused at the generally conciliatory nature of the stallion. ‘Ah don’ know what y’all are tryin’ t’ pull, but Ah ain’t buyin’ it.’

‘And that is your right as a free pony.’ The Wandering Physicist smiles and bows again.

Applejack backs, away getting a little nervous. ‘Ya ain’t gonna t’ mention wantin’ t’ make cupcakes now, are ya?’

‘Oh! I haven’t eaten all day. Those would be good.’ The Wandering Physicist looks up and starts drooling a little.

Applejack is even more confused by this odd pony. ‘Okay. Fine. Ah won’ be reportin’ what ya did t’ no authorities, but Ah still don’ trust ya!’ Applejack starts leaving the shop. ‘Ah got mah eye on ya!’

The Wandering Physicist checks something on his computer and smirks. ‘Oh. Tell Big Mac that his preorder comes in next week.’

‘Consarn it!’

It is the early evening. The Wandering Physicist has some pizza on his counter from an impromptu Super Smash Ponies tournament with the comic shop owner, Marvel Crystal, and any unfortunate pony who wandered in and dared challenge them. He is still playing and snacking when the shop door opens again.

‘Oh dear. This place is dreadfully tacky.’

The Wandering Physicist pauses and looks over to see a well-groomed white unicorn with a pristine purple mane staring at the displays disdainfully. ‘That “tackiness” is what my customers expect. You can’t really make space mare-ines look too classy.’

‘Hmm... I see your point. They can’t really make them with necks, too, it seems.’

‘Ugh. They locked in one design twenty years ago, and it has stuck ever since.’

‘My word!’

‘Tell me about it. Anyway, how may I help you and do you want some pizza?’

Rarity leans in and sniffs. ‘Eh... no thanks. I am here to talk to you about an incident that occurred at your store earlier.’

The Wandering Physicist groans. ‘Great another concerned sister.’

‘Ah. So you met Applejack.’ Rarity looks around the store. ‘Your store seems to be intact still... Anyway, I heard a really disturbing tale. One that caused my sister to rush home and hide in her room all day. She is still cowering under her bed and refuses to come out. This leaves me with but one course of action.’

The Wandering Physicist grimaces a little. The prospect of being blasted by unicorn magic does not appeal to him. He closes his eyes and prepares for the worst. To his surprise, he is not hit by magic. Instead, he is grabbed by the hooves.

‘Please tell me how you got her to behave!’ Rarity pleads. ‘I have never had this quiet a day since she was born! Please tell me! I must know! I need this peace and serenity to last forever!’

Outside, a pink pony randomly shouts ‘FOREVEEEEEEEER!’ as she walks past the store.

The Wandering Physicist backs away a couple steps. ‘I didn’t do anything special. I just yelled a lot.’

‘Hmm... That is normally ineffectual against her. Could it be the contents of your yelling that carried weight?’

The Wandering Physicist nervously laughs. ‘Nothing more than your average death threat.’

‘And that actually worked?’

‘I guess so.’

‘Hmm... I will have to give it another shot. Thank you, good sir.’

‘No problem, madam.’

‘Ooo! Another pony with manners. It is a pleasure to meet you, mister...’

‘They call me The Wandering Physicist, I don’t kn...’

‘Hmm... Unique and mysterious. I like it, despite it being a bit of a mouthful.’

‘I’ll have to work on that.’

‘You may call me Rarity, or Lady Rarity if you prefer.’

‘It is a pleasure, Miss Rarity.’

‘Hmm... I guess that will do too.’ Rarity starts leaving the shop. ‘If you ever need some help making your store more... upscale in the design department, I’ll be glad to help.’

‘Thanks. Peace.’

Rarity takes her leave of the store and returns home, taking a second to recoil in horror at a bespectacled stallion wearing a Pony Arcade t-shirt exiting the comic shop. The Wandering Physicist takes a moment to check the street for any other approaching ponies before returning inside and locking the doors.

‘I don’t know what happened today, but it happened.’

Author's Note

TWP's Timeline: First encounter with the CMC, Applejack and Rarity.

Fun fact: As will be revealed in about 70 chapters, he had met Pinkie Pie before this chapter when she came and greeted his arrival to Ponyville. You'll read a bit about that encounter in the next chapter.

Gaming is Magic

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight Sparkle
Cameos: The Doctor (10)
Original Write Date: September 28, 2011

It is an average day in Ponyville. The town is alive with activity. That is, all of the town except for one small section that caters to a few niche shops. There is one that exclusively sells non-web-based comics. There is one that exclusively sells items imported from Neighpon. Then there is the video game shop run by a very odd pony. One whose name does not fit with his profession in an odd twist to ponydom. The Wandering Physicist is just chilling in his shop playing a game of Legend of Celestia: The Wind Waker.

Despite, or probably because it is off the beaten path, a rather well-recognized pony approaches The Power Block. The lavender pony has never been in this part of town, despite her friends’ insistence that she would enjoy it. Their most talked about shop is the video game shop. Twilight Sparkle takes a deep breath and enters the shop.

‘Welcome to Dracula and Wolfpony’s Used Game Emporium,’ The Wandering Physicist says without looking up.

‘What?’ Twilight turns around to see if she entered the right shop.

‘Ah. Sorry. Bit of a gaming joke there.’

‘Oh. Okay.’ Twilight gets out a quill and writes something down on a piece of parchment.

‘I recognize you. You are the filly who runs the library. I am surprised you didn’t come sooner.’

‘What?’ Twilight blushes and hides behind her notes a little.

‘Sorry. Again. Another nerd thing.’

Why does he seem to think I am a nerd? Twilight looks at The Wandering Physicist in a confused manner. He is staring into space and seems to be counting to himself.

‘Whoa. I think this is the whole set,’ the stallion says to himself.

‘Again, I am confused.’

‘Oh! You’re a little famous, but I guess you are used to it, being an Element of Harmony and princess and all.’

‘How do you know all of that?’

‘I have my ways.’ The Wandering Physicist smirks. He then glances to one side and nods towards a magazine rack.

Twilight gets the hint and takes out the magazine on display. She opens it up and immediately sees an ad for a new game: ‘The Elements of Harmony 2: Discord Edition.’

‘Oh, please,’ Twilight groans as she rolls her eyes and starts reading the magazine.

There are a few moments of awkward silence between the two ponies. Twilight looks up from the magazine and looks at The Wandering Physicist. The Wandering Physicist stares back. Their eyes meet, and both blush slightly.

‘Oh! Right! Customer service. I am still getting used to that. So, uh, how may I help you?’

‘Um, right. Uh... Introductions! Yes. I am Twilight Sparkle. I am the personal student of Princess Celestia. I have been tasked with learning about the magic of friendship. I currently live in the library in town where I do my studies.’

The Wandering Physicist taps the magazine again.

Twilight blushes again. ‘Right.’

‘... Oh! My turn I guess.’ The Wandering Physicist poses slightly. ‘They call me The Wandering Physicist... I am not sure why. I also call myself The Wandering Physicist... I still don’t know why.’

Twilight laughs while writing this down. ‘Has anypony ever told you you are really weird?’

‘They never really stop,’ the stallion replies slightly proudly. ‘So... What brings you here?’

‘I, uh, want to do a friendship report on you,’ Twilight says nervously. The Wandering Physicist raises an eyebrow. Twilight nervously stammers, ‘You see! We, the other Elements and I, were all over at Pinkie’s, that is my friend Pinkie Pie, like in the game, and, uh, she had this game where you would dance and the game would dance with you. We all had such a fun time that I figured that I would write a report on the game. That is when the others insisted that I came here.’

‘Ah yes. Pinkie. Easiest Kinect sell ever. Just had to show her Dance Central and she makes a sound like she is having a heart attack.’

‘I know what you mean,’ Twilight says, remembering the first time she met Pinkie and the loud gasp her future friend greeted her with. ‘Anyway, what can you tell me about video games and how they relate to friendship?’

‘Hmm, that is a tricky question. As best as I can say... I feel as though there is a game out there for everyone. And that game is Professor Layton.’

Twilight giggles at the comment. The door to the shop bursts open, and a light brown pony with a dark brown mane looks in.

‘Don’t I know you from somewhere?’ the strange pony asks The Wandering Physicist.

‘Nope,’ the other strange pony replies.

‘Very well then.’

The strange pony leaves, flashing his hourglass-shaped cutie mark briefly before closing the door.

‘His game is Timesplitters.’ The Wandering Physicist whispers.

Twilight openly laughs at that joke. She writes some more. ‘What do you think my game would be?’

‘I’d have to get to know you better before I could tell.’

The princess turns bright red and almost drops her quill, which is amazing given that she was holding it by magic. ‘Um, well, uh, er... Oh! You have apparently met all of my friends. What do they like?’

The Wandering Physicist laughs a little. ‘Well, we know what Pinkie likes. Hmm... Well... Let’s see. I recommended Bejeweled to Rarity since it can easily fit in her busy schedule and focuses on gem collecting.’

‘Sounds like her.’

‘Uh... Fluttershy came in the other day and got a couple games. She insisted they were for her rabbit, but I think Pokemon was for her. She also stared at Assassin’s Creed for the longest time before picking it up. She was very insistent that the game was for her rabbit.’

‘Oh my! That one sounds violent.’

The Wandering Physicist makes a sheepish face. ‘It does have a lot of killing, but it is not as graphic as it sounds. I’d say the violence balances the crazy philosophy and theology in equal proportions.’

‘Interesting...’ Twilight muses as she scribbles some notes.

‘Who else... That Big Mac fellow is a large fan of FPS games. Although... He did pick up a copy of Harvest Moon the other day, and he not-so-secretly dropped it off at a certain apple vender’s stall.’

‘Huh. I heard about your encounter with the CMC... with conflicting results.’

The Wandering Physicist once again attempts to avoid his visitor’s glare. ‘Heh, heh. That was a fun day.’

‘I see...’ Twilight starts writing something again and mutters to herself, ‘Clinically insane.’

‘I’ll have you know I have never been to a clinic.’

The alicorn panics, and her quill and notes fall out of the air.

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘No worries. Now... What else do you want to hear about?’

Twilight lifts her notes again. ‘Um, what were you playing when I came in?’

‘It was one of my favorites. Wind Waker.‘

The Wandering Physicist nods Twilight over and unpauses his game. She comes over to where he is sitting, and he starts to explain the game. Twilight takes notes on the game but quickly stops as she gets drawn into the game. The two ponies chat about the game and others as the stallion plays. After a while, The Wandering Physicist notices the time and starts shutting down.

Twilight is confused. ‘Why are you stopping? Aren’t you going to get all of the Triumph Forks?’

‘I will, but it is almost two-thirty. I get a bit of after-school rush.’ The Wandering Physicist starts going around the store setting up games and displays. ‘You are free to leave. It gets pretty busy.’

‘I don’t mind. Besides, it sounds like you might need a hoof.’

‘Okay... But if any of them asks you a question about a game that you can’t answer just grab me.’

‘Gotcha.’

The Wandering Physicist finishes his prep work with as a pair of young colts enter. They are talking about a game Twilight has never heard of, but she has only been exposed to gaming for a few hours and writes it off. The Wandering Physicist listens in on the conversation and stifles laughs at some of the comments. The colts ignore the two clerks and go about their business. Slowly, the shop fills with more young ponies and their numbers ebb and flow throughout the day. Twilight has some difficulty handling questions about the games, but The Wandering Physicist helps her out enough so she is eventually able to handle them on her own. Twilight is pretty impressed with the speed and skill that The Wandering Physicist answers all of the gaming questions presented him. He chats with the various colts and fillies that just want to chat and is able to convince others why or why not they should get a certain game regardless of system and age of the console. Eventually, the crowds die down and it is only the two ponies are left. Twilight sits by the counter, tired from the compact few hours of rushed work. The Wandering Physicist is reorganizing games in a section labeled ‘Genesis.’

‘You do this every day?’ Twilight says with a bit of a sigh.

‘Only if I remember to get up.’ The Wandering Physicist laughs a bit.

Twilight laughs too, not really sure if that was a joke even after spending the day getting to know this stallion who openly describes himself as ‘weird.’ She sighs again and writes more notes for her future Friendship Report. Suddenly, the door to the shop bursts open, and the odd pony from earlier in the day looks in again.

‘Do you have any quantum flux inhibitors?’

‘Back by the 2600s. Ten bits each.’

‘Thanks, mate.’

The pony tosses a bag of bits towards The Wandering Physicist as he heads to the back. Twilight watches the odd pony as The Wandering Physicist takes the bits to the register. The odd pony comes out of the back and heads to the door.

‘Thanks again. Allons-y!’

The pony runs out once more. Twilight writes a few more notes then puts away her notes.

‘I think I have enough notes for a good report.’

‘I am glad to have helped.’

‘Um... There is one last thing I have to ask you,’ Twilight states nervously. ‘Do, do you have another copy of the game you were showing me?’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Of course. I’ll get you one and a system to play it on too.’

The stallion goes to the back to get a console. An odd whirring noise is heard briefly. Twilight goes over to a shelf and tries to find the game. The Wandering Physicist comes out of the back and notices Twilight looking for the game. He quietly sneaks beside her and starts looking too. Twilight turns slightly to keep looking. There is a new object just to her side. She looks again and jumps to the side while letting out a loud yelp. The Wandering Physicist just looks at her and laughs.

‘Here is the console for you.’ The Wandering Physicist leans in close. ‘I may have modified it a little for you.’ He winks, then turns deadly serious. ‘Don’t tell anyone.’

Twilight levitates the box from The Wandering Physicist’s back. ‘Neightendo Wii. How much do I owe you?’

The Wandering Physicist finds the game and pulls it off the shelf. ‘On the house. Consider it payment for the help today and not a bribe for a good report.’

‘Are you sure about this?’ Twilight asks as she puts the game and console in her bag.

The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘It was a used system anyway. It is not like the company will get the money, and that is more important in the long run.’

‘If you insist... It is a very nice gift. Thank you.’ Twilight bows.

‘The game is fifty bits though.’ Twilight looks up at The Wandering Physicist, shocked. ‘Just kidding.’

The two new friends laugh as they head out of the shop.

‘Have a good evening.’

‘Back at you. Don’t spend the whole night gaming.’

‘Same to you, Mr Wanderer.’

The Wandering Physicist waves as Twilight heads back to the library after the long day. ‘I need a nickname or something shorter for others to remember.’

Another pony comes out of the comic shop next door.

The Wandering Physicist nods down the street. ‘Hey. Guess who hung out with Twilight Sparkle all day.’

The other pony does not even look back. ‘Pics or it didn’t happen.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs and heads back inside for the night.

Author's Note

TWP's Timeline: First known encounter with Twilight Sparkle. First time his heart went 'pitter patter' with excitement.

Fun fact: This was the second TWP story I wrote. I had an idea for the CMC chapter, but not all of the details. Originally, there were a few lines between pony TWP and human TWP (me, the author) about bringing up events that hadn't happened yet. Those have all disappeared in the dusts of time since posting here.

Level Up

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, Luna/Selene, Fluttershy, The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie, Derpy, Rip Chord, Dream Maker
Cameos: Lucas Grainsborough, Coal Tale, Droll Tale, Marvel Crystal, Diamond Crystal, Kaeko Umaku, Jonathan Colton, Ruby Dart, The Doctor (10), Spike, Applejack, Pinkie
Original Write Date: October 8, 2011

The Wandering Physicist is currently with a pony he never thought would be a customer at his store. Applejack is gift-hunting for her sister and ended up at the local gaming store. Unfortunately for The Wandering Physicist, it is a pretty busy time for him, but he happily engages the rare customer.

‘Sooooo, Applejack, how may I help you?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘Oh no. Yer not tryin’ yer trick sells tricks on me. Ah’m wise t’ yer tricks.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Just trying to be of service to you.’

‘Yer tryin’ t’ WHAT me?’ Applejack accuses.

‘I am trying to help you,’ The Wandering Physicist moans. ‘Get your mind out of the gutter.’

‘In that case, Ah’m looking fer a game fer mah sister.’ Applejack glares at The Wandering Physicist. ‘And Ah don’ want some violent game that would pollute her mind.’

‘Hmm... What systems do you own?’

‘Let’s see... We have one o’ them thingies where ya wave the controller around.’ The Wandering Physicist nods at the poor description of a Wii. ‘Uh... Big Mac has one o’ them Box thingies.’

‘Right. I see him on Live all the time.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘We play games online together some times.’

Applejack thinks. ‘Huh. So they are more like tubes...’ The Wandering Physicist stifles a laugh as poorly as he normally does. Applejack glares. ‘Anyway... Big Mac also got me one of them handheld thingies with two screens. Ah only use it when Ah have downtime in the orchard.’

‘Ah! Good. I think I know a game she might like...’ The Wandering Physicist goes over to a rack of games and picks one off. ‘Here you go. You might have to give up your DS to her, but that would be a small price to pay.’

Applejack is a little incredulous about the title. ‘Human Crossing? Ah don’ know... sounds a little weird. What’s it about?’

‘You play as a pony who just moved to a small town filled with weird-looking creatures. You just go around town planting flowers, picking fruit, and playing with your neighbors. Basically, it is a more open-ended version of Harvest Moon with a cartoony feel.’

‘Like Harvest Moon eh...’ Applejack seriously ponders the game.

The Wandering Physicist smirks a bit. ‘If you are looking for a more challenging twist on Harvest Moon, I have Rune Factory where you fight monsters and have them work on your farm for you.’

‘That would be mighty convenient.’ Applejack looks around to make sure no pony is listening. ‘Can Ah get a copy o’ that too? Fer, uh, research o’ course.’ She purses her lips and looks around nervously.

The Wandering Physicist gets a copy of Rune Factory. He starts ringing Applejack up at the counter. When he is done, he puts an advert into her bag.

‘What was that ya jus’ put in there?’

‘Oh. It is just a flyer for an upcoming festival we’re having in the neighborhood. There will be game tournaments hosted by me and the tabletop store. The music store has arranged some surprise guests. And all of the stores will be having sales. I figured I’d give you one since Big Mac hasn’t replied to my emails, and he might want to enter the Halo tourney.’

‘Huh. Ah’ll pass on the information to him.’ Applejack starts leaving, but she turns back a step. ‘Good t’ see ya actually doin’ somethin’ nice fer the children instead o’ jus’ scarin’ them.’

The Wandering Physicist smiles and shrugs. ‘We all have our off days.’

Applejack gives the stallion a confused look, then leaves the shop shaking her head. The Wandering Physicist sits back behind the counter and sighs. The increase in visitors recently in the lead-up to the festival has really overworked him. In addition, he has to manage all of the arrangements for the video game tournaments. Some scripts he wrote for online registration help on on front, but he still has to go through the physical applications. Making matters worse, he has yet to hear from two key members of a potential team he is setting up for a tournament.

As if on cue, one of his potential allies enters the shop. Selene looks like your average pegasus. She is dark blue with a lighter blue mane and a crescent-moon-shaped cutie mark. She has a pair of wide glasses and a simple necklace that she wears everywhere. None of the other patrons seem to notice her and the ones that do do not pay her special attention. She spots The Wandering Physicist and prances over with a smile.

‘Good afternoon, James!’

In an effort to have a simpler name for people to call him by, Selene gave The Wandering Physicist the nickname ‘James’. She really seems to enjoy the name, and The Wandering Physicist was happy to make her happy.

‘Afternoon, Miss Selene.’

‘The shop is really busy today.’

‘It is all of the buildup to the festival. Lots of shoppers and people registering for the various tourneys.’

‘Oh! Thanks for reminding me. That is why I am here today.’

The Wandering Physicist is very incredulous. ‘Really. I would never have guessed.’ He says, heavy on the sarcasm.

‘James...’ Selene scowls.

The Wandering Physicist mouths, ‘Lu-na’, causing Luna/Selene to back off. Unknown to everypony except The Wandering Physicist, Selene is really Princess Luna in disguise. Her glasses and necklace are really perception filters that make magnificent Luna appear as the normal Selene. The Wandering Physicist is the only one who has thus far broken her disguise.

‘Sorry,’ Selene apologizes.

‘Think nothing of it. Just sign these forms and you’ll be all set,’ The Wandering Physicist replies, pulling out a set of clipboards from under the counter.

Selene reads over the clipboards. ‘You filled them out for me already.’

‘Right. Just need your hoofprint.’

‘How did you know I was signing up for Super Smash Ponies and Mare-io Kart?’

‘Last Thursday when you swore at Twilight and last Tuesday when you got Twilight to swear at you.’

Selene smirks. ‘Good times.’ Luna prints two of the clipboards and turns to a third. ‘What is this?’

The Wandering Physicist grins. ‘I am putting a little team together for the TF2 tourney. I just need two more members. I was hoping to get you and Twilight to round out the team.’

Selene scowls again. ‘Work with Twilight...’

The Wandering Physicist mouths ‘Lu-na’ again. She growls and looks back at the clipboard.

‘Who else is on the team?’

‘I got Derpy for Spy. I have never seen her get below plus ten when she plays Spy.’

‘Damn.’

‘Exactly. It took a lot of doing, but I got Fluttershy as Heavy. She is invincible.’

‘Wait. She plays?’

‘She claims she is her rabbit Angel. Even her whole profile is set to look like it is Angel playing. Not to mention her natural shyness and quietness keeps her from really being heard so she can sneak by without saying a word or having it heard.’

Selene thinks. ‘Wait. She’s the Terror of Dustbowl!’ The Wandering Physicist nods. ‘But... she totally decimated me last time I played...’ Luna sighs. ‘How did you get her to agree to come out? She is so shy.’

The Wandering Physicist shakes his head. ‘It took a lot of work convincing her to agree to play publicly. ... I had to make all sorts of promises to her.’

‘What sort of promises?’ Luna glares.

‘All sorts,’ The Wandering Physicist sighs.

Selene’s glare intensifies, and she nods slightly toward the 18+ door.

‘What? No! Grow up, will you?’

Selene growls again at the age comment.

‘Anyway. I was going to be backing Fluttershy up as a medic. We are pretty much unstoppable. If you join as Soldier or Demoman and Twilight as Sniper, I am sure our team can win.’

Selene ponders joining the team. ‘Hmm.... All sorts of things?’

‘Dear Princess Celestia, You’ll never guess who came to my shop today!’ The Wandering Physicist says, mocking Twilight Sparkle.

Selene scowls and prints the roster. ‘I will make you owe me something.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘I know.’ He notices a pony approaching the store. ‘Uh oh.’

Selene turns to see Twilight Sparkle entering the store with her friend Pinkie Pie. Pinkie is literally bouncing as she enters the store. Selene glares at her rival as she comes directly to the counter with her friend. Twilight just scoffs at Selene. Pinkie is either oblivious to or does not care about her friend’s rivalry. The Wandering Physicist just watches as Pinkie bounces in front of him.

‘Hi! Remember me? You sold me that dancing game!’

‘I remember you quite well, Pinkie. How may I help you?’

‘We are here to enter some tournaments, Mr Wanderer. Pinkie insisted on coming when I told her what games you were hosting.’ Twilight answers for her overly hopped-up (literally, too) friend.

‘Right! I want to play Rock Band and the dancing game and the singing game and everything else that is partytastic!’

‘You’re going to need four for Rock Band. Do you have a group?’ The Wandering Physicist says while getting out all of the proper paperwork for Pinkie.

‘We certain-deediliy do!’ Pinke says as she finally stops bouncing to fill out the forms.

‘I can see you will be busy for a bit,’ Selene says, picking up The Wandering Physicist’s customized Chromebook from the counter. ‘I hope you don’t mind me helping out with the store while you help this fine young lady and Twilight.’

Twilight shoots a quick glare at Selene before turning back to The Wandering Physicist. ‘Um, yes, we have a team of four. Pinkie, myself, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack.’

‘Wait. What? I just told Applejack about the festival this afternoon.’

‘We talked to her about it on our way here.’ Twilight starts.

‘She was all “Ah just heard ‘bout the thing.” and I was like ‘You have to join our band! It will be so fun!’ and she was...’ Pinkie says before Twilight stops her.

‘We were able to talk her into joining our group,’ Twilight finishes. ‘There are also some games I would like to sign up for. I would have emailed,’ -- she blushes a bit -- ‘but I felt more like coming in to see you.’

The Wandering Physicist smiles back as he gets out some forms for Twilight. ‘Just need your hoofprint.’

Twilight looks at the forms. ‘These are all filled out already.’ She scans them more closely. She looks up at The Wandering Physicist through narrow eyes. ‘Selene signed up for these too, didn’t she?’ Before The Wandering Physicist can answer, Twilight slams her hooves on the forms. ‘It. Is. On.’

Pinkie slams her hooves on the counter too. ‘Right! ... What are were talking about?’

‘Girl things.’ The Wandering Physicist answers. ‘You done with your forms?’

‘Yep indeedy!’

The Wandering Physicist looks over the papers. ‘Looks good. Can’t wait to see you at the competition.’

‘Okie Dokie Loki!’

Pinkie bounces out of the store. Once Pinkie is gone, The Wandering Physicist finally stops his head from bouncing with her. Twilight stays back in the store, glaring at Luna.

‘Mr Wanderer...’

‘Miss Sparkle?’

‘Would you like some extra help with the event? I am quite good at organizing.’ Twilight’s Winter Wrap Up All-Team Organizer vest materializes around her.

The Wandering Physicist nods and gets out of Twilight’s way. He backs away and just watches as both of the rivals for his attention take over his shop. Outside, the owner of the used book store, a dark red unicorn with a red mane, waves The Wandering Physicist out to discuss more festival preparations.

The days pass and the festival comes around. All the shops are showing off their wares. There are a pair of stages where The Wandering Physicist is hosting the various video game tournaments and Dream Maker, the owner of the tabletop shop, is hosting various tabletop games. The indie music shop owner, Rip Chord aka MC RC, has samples of various artists playing over some of the speakers spread around the district. There is even a Pokemon tournament going on where the players find and challenge the gym leaders and other trainers to earn enough badges to make it to the finals. Hundreds of ponies have turned out from all over Ponyville and the surrounding area to see the what is going on.

The Wandering Physicist is on stage wrapping up an event. He is wearing a headset mic. ‘Let’s hear it for Team Grainsborough and their killer New Mare-io Wii run.’ A light gray unicorn with a brown mane bows next to three of his friends. ‘They pick up a used game of their choice from my store and ... What was it?’ Another pony motions towards a shop. ‘Right. And a free translated graphic novel from Neighponese Imports. Thanks, everypony, for watching. We’ll take a short break while we set up for the Halo team tournament. Back in a few.’

The Wandering Physicist heads backstage. He immediately collapses by the nearest chair and reaches for a bottle of water just out of reach. A kind hoof pushes the water towards him. He quickly pulls it to him and starts drinking.

‘Are you sure you don’t need any help? You have been up since yesterday,’ Selene says, sitting next to her friend.

‘M mmm mm mmmmm mmmm.’ The Wandering Physicist mumbles while drinking. He stops to take a breath. ‘Besides, how do you know? Are you stalking me? Maybe watching my dreams?’

Selene’s eyes dart. ‘No. Not at all.’

Another pony approaches. ‘Leave him alone, Selene. He has been up since yesterday.’ Twilight states.

‘Are you stalking him?’ Selene accuses.

‘What are you talking about? I have been helping set up, unlike some ponies who were conveniently out of town.’

‘Mmm mm mm mm,’ The Wandering Physicist finishes drinking, ‘game.’

The two mares stare at The Wandering Physicist as he he goes back to laying on the ground. He lets out a large, fake snore that cause both of them to roll their eyes.

Twilight turns to Selene. ‘Anyway, what are you doing back here? Event staff only.’

Selene taps a badge around her neck. ‘VIP guest. It seems somepony thinks I am special enough to have around.’

The Wandering Physicist snorts and and gasps. He sits straight up. ‘I’m awake!’

There is a sharp ‘eep’ and a crash. The group looks over to see that a yellow pegasus with a pink mane has attempted to hide in a pile of chairs and tables but got herself stuck in the furniture. The Wandering Physicist and Twilight go to help their friend free.

‘Sorry about that. I didn’t know you were there.’ The Wandering Physicist apologizes.

‘Oh, it is fine. I shouldn’t have been sneaking up on you.’ Fluttershy apologizes back.

‘I wouldn’t say “sneaking”,’ a new voice chimes in, ‘more like “skulking”.’

A grey pegasus and a brown pony enter the backstage area.

Derpy waves at her friends. ‘Hi! I hope you don’t mind, but I brought my friend with me. His name is The Doctor. Doctor, this is Twilight, Fluttershy, new person, and Chief.’ ‘Chief’ is Derpy’s nickname for The Wandering Physicist.

‘It is a pleasure to meet all of you.’ The Doctor says with a bow.

‘Likewise, Doctor.’ The Wandering Physicist replies. ‘Now that we’re all here, team meeting time.’

‘We are not going to cheat, are we?’ Fluttershy worries. ‘I mean, you are the one who organized everything.’

‘No worries. I have the stages set to a random number generator and Droll Tale will be on hoof to pick a stage if we get a repeat.’

‘Ugh. He is so annoying,’ Twilight says with a facehoof.

‘All right. Enough troll bashing, we should only have about ten minutes before I have to...’ The Wandering Physicist half dozes off again. Selene taps him. ‘Cheeseburger!’

There is another crash as Fluttershy tries diving under the chairs again.

Twilight facehoofs again. ‘This is going to be a long day.’

After the Halo team tournament changed to the solo tournament, The Wandering Physicist is almost out of energy. The last two competitors are in a heated battle. The crowd has a clearly defined favorite and is cheering him on. Suddenly, there is a loud explosion in the game and The Wandering Physicist is wake from his stupor. The audience is clearly upset and is booing the winner.

‘Bow before The Awesome and Magnificent Maximilian!’ the winner declares, triumphantly. The unicorn uses his magic to create some harmless fireworks in celebration.

The Wandering Physicist yawns. ‘That will do.’

‘The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie does not care what you think.’

‘Well, I am the one hosting this thing. So...’

The fireworks stop.

‘Anyway, congratulations on your win. You get two free months of Playstation Plus...’ All of the Halo players look at The Wandering Physicist, then at the consoles, then back to The Wandering Physicist. ‘Or Gold. Whatever. Thank you to everypony for playing.’

‘Let this be a warning to all who challenge the Awesome and Magnificent Maxie!’

‘Right...’ The Wandering Physicist covers his mic. ‘You can leave the stage now.’ Maxie turns his nose up and leaves. ‘Okay! So we’ll be setting up for the TF2 round robin in a bit, but first we have something special planned.’

Dream Maker and several other ponies enter the stage.

‘That is right,’ Dream Maker starts. ‘Once the tournament is finished on my stage, I’ll be DMing a Dungeons and Dragons game being played by The Wandering Physicist of The Power Block’ -- The Wandering Physicist bows -- ‘Diamond Crystal representing Marvel Crystal of Marvelous Comics and Collectables’ -- a light blue pony with striped purple and blue mane bows -- ‘Coal Tale of Coal’s Tales’ -- he takes a bow -- ‘Rip Chord of The Chaos Theater’ -- an all black pegasus with a black mane nods -- ‘Ruby Dart of Ponyville Programming’ -- a yellow unicorn with a red mane nods -- ‘and Kaeko Umaku of Neighponese Imports’ -- a silver pegasus with a blonde mane bows. ‘Can they survive the campaign? Find out soon.’

The audience applauds or stomps in support of the hosts. Dream waves and heads back to the tabletop area. The other shopkeepers head backstage. They all stand around. The Wandering Physicist sways a bit with his eyes closed.

‘How is the festival going for the rest of you?’ Kaeko asks. ‘I am doing well, but I’d like to have a bit of time to check my shop before the game.’

‘Gettin’ a ton of guests wanting to hear or buy the albums I have been playin’,’ Rip answers. ‘It is hard keepin’ the secret under wraps.’

‘It is hard keeping Droll in line, but what else is new?’ Coal says. ‘I am making good sells. Pretty good considering the popularity of the library,’ glances at The Dozing Physicist, ‘or a certain pony that runs it.’

‘The husband and I are always doing good business.’ Diamond says. ‘It is good to see new faces, though.’

The Wandering Physicist snores.

‘Yo. I think he has the right idea. Who’s coverin’ his shop anyway?’ Rip asks.

‘We combined shops for the festival since I didn’t want my place getting too cluttered,’ Ruby answers. ‘His friends Selene and Twilight Sparkle have been... Is “helping” the right word?’

‘Speaking of not helping, have any of you also run into that Maxie that was just on stage?’ Coal asks.

‘Hells yeah,’ Rip replies. ‘He went through my shop then started complainin’ that I didn’t have any “good” music. I asked what he liked and he started up with all of the mainstream artists that I clearly don’t carry. I mean, they’re good ‘n all, but...’

‘He was unimpressed that I did not carry any Naruto,’ Kaeko scowls.

‘Should we have the Enforcers keep an eye on him?’ Ruby asks.

‘Move faster, Pokey!’ The Wandering Physicist blurts. Everypony stares at him. ‘What were we talking about?’

‘Just wondering if we should watch a disruptive pony.’ Coal answers.

‘Is it your brother?’

‘No, but...’

‘Is this pony breaking any rules?’

‘Well, no, but...’

‘If the pony is not breaking rules, I don’t think we should be so quick to judge.’

‘Hmm. Give it time. You’ll come around.’

A stage hand looks backstage. ‘Almost ready for you.’

‘I guess it is time to do this. Ready, kids?’ Diamond says.

Rip nods toward Ruby and Kaeko. ‘With them around, I’ll put on my robe and wizard hat.’

Diamond rolls her eyes. Kaeko groans. Coal backs away. Ruby swears under her breath. The Wandering Physicist finds a bottle of water and starts drinking.

‘This anypony’s?’ The Wandering Physicist asks after finishing the water.

The others sigh and wait until they are called out once more.

On the night of the first day, the festival is winding down, but the party is still going on. The tabletop stage has been converted to a music stage where Rip Chord’s special guest turns out to be Jonathan Colton. JoColt is playing a small concert while the last gaming tournament is finishing up. It is the last round of the Mare-io Kart Wii tournament. Fourth place has already been mathematically eliminated and is holding back from the main three. Twilight currently leads with Selene right on her tail. For some reason, Maximilian seems to be waiting for something. The Wandering Physicist is too busy singing along to all of the songs to comment on the race. Suddenly, there is an explosion on-screen, followed by Twilight and Selene yelling, the audience booing and Maximilian laughing.

‘Silly foals! Tremble before the might of the Awesome and Magnificent Maxie!’

‘That was total bulls...’ Selene yells before getting cut off by a firework.

‘Motherf...’ Firework. ‘...king blue shells,’ Twilight spits out.

‘...the future soon. I never seen it quite so clear. When my heart is breaking...’

‘Mr Wanderer!’

‘James!’

‘What? Oh!’ The Wandering Physicist takes notice of the game. ‘Congratulations to...’

‘The Awesome and Magnificient Maxie wins again!’ Maxie declares.

‘Way to go. You win the complete Mare-io Kart figure and toy collection.’ The Wandering Physicist pauses to think. ‘Damn. That is pretty fancy.’ He notices Twilight and Selene charging spells. ‘Anyway! Good job winning, keep up the good work, and get off the stage if you want to live.’

The Wandering Physicist hurries Maxie off the stage as Twilight and Selene run up.

‘I’ll kill him. I am going to kill him,’ Selene says unusually calmly.

‘I am so getting Celestia to banish him and have him thrown in a dungeon in the place he is banished to.’ Twilight growls.

‘You have my support,’ her rival adds.

‘Not to sound like I wasn’t paying attention to both of you, but what did he do?’

Twilight and Selene stare at The Wandering Physicist, look at each other, and back at the stallion. ‘Blue shell.’ They say in unison.

‘Oooo!’ Pause. ‘Which one of you was in first?’

‘I was!’ They say at once. ‘What? No you weren’t! I was leading! Stop copying me!’

The two mares growl and butt heads. The Wandering Physicist starts backing away. The two mares notice and turn their attention to him.

‘Uh... You wouldn’t hit a pony with glasses, would you?’ Twilight levitates the glasses from The Wandering Physicist’s face. ‘Oh snap.’

The stallion darts backstage to keep the inevitable earful he will get out of public. After they are gone, a certain pink pony comes out on stage.

‘Rock Band party! All night!’ Pinkie declares as she pulls a Rock Band guitar out of nowhere.

The next day brings changes to the festival. Most notably, The Wandering Physicist is wide awake after getting ‘plenty’ of sleep when Twilight and Selene were done yelling at him for ignoring them. He would have gotten better sleep if he was allowed to use his own bed and not give it up to a certain visiting princess. There is also renewed energy in the Pokemon League after rumors spread about a mysterious ‘Gym Leader Hayate’ who was very easy to defeat and about a certain animal-loving pegasus who is the league champion. There is also a lot of talk about ‘the Awesome and Magnificent Maxie’ dominating games and being a showboat about it.

The finals for the Team Fortress 2 tournament coming to a close. Team Wanderer is dominating. The teams are having a big shootout at the last control point. The defending team is doing a good job of camping at the control point. Fluttershy is giving her monitor her infamous Stare, which is doing a good job of unnerving any opponent who happens to look her way. The rest of her team is equally intense.

‘You set, Derpy?’ Selene whispers into her headset.

‘Roger,’ Derpy replies.

One of the defenders decloaks and backstabs an ‘ally’. At the same time, another defender is taken down by a headshot.

‘Booya! Who is your god now!’ Selene declares triumphantly.

Team Wanderer rushes the point and is able to get enough players on it before the opposing team can regroup. The match ends in total victory.

‘YAHOO! WE DID IT! WE WON! WE ARE THE GREATEST!’ Fluttershy declares, jumping up and down in her seat.

The rest of the team take a breath and start congratulating each other and the other team. They are able to get Fluttershy to calm down and join in the sharing of respect. The announcers, Rip Chord and Droll Tale, come out to congratulate the teams.

‘That was a great game! Real balls to the wall action!’ Rip says.

‘I like popsicles!’ Droll declares.

‘Ya have been just the greatest cohost in ever,’ Rip says, rolling his eyes.

‘Shoo be doo, shoo shoo be doo,’ Droll sings.

There is a crash as Rip starts strangling Droll, and they fall off the stage. Enforcers rush to pull them apart. The Wandering Physicist picks up a dropped headset mic.

‘Ho damn! Thought that was never going to end.’ The Wandering Physicist states. ‘Anyway! Since it would be a gyp to give the host a prize, I had something special in mind in case we won. Once I get back to my shop, I’ll be giving away a free app download of your choice for the next hour to all visitors. See you there.’

The Wandering Physicist gives the mic to an Enforcer as he rejoins his team. They start heading off the stage and back to The Power Block. At the end of the stage exit, Maximilian is waiting. Fluttershy hides from the stranger behind The Wandering Physicist.

‘Way to go on the win. The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie would have helped you get it sooner though,’ Maxie greets.

‘What do you want?’ Twilight says, glaring.

‘I just wanted to tell you that I cannot wait for our match in the Brawl tourney. Ours to Selene.’

Selene just scoffs and turns away. Maxie smirks and starts leaving. He stops and turns back a bit.

‘Oh. And I’ll be seeing you around too, Madam Champion.’

Fluttershy just lets out a sharp squeak and hides even more. Twilight and Selene glare at Maxie as he finally leaves. The Wandering Physicist sighs and starts walking away very slowly, since he is dragging Fluttershy.

‘That guy is a real ass!’ Selene declares.

‘I bet I can find a spell to make him one, too,’ Twilight adds. She turns to Selene. ‘Hey, one of us has to take him down. Deal?’

‘Deal.’

‘I’m in, too!’ Derpy declares.

‘Excellent! We should be enough to take him down.’

The three mares high hoof.

‘I’m going back to the shop and getting some food,’ The Wandering Physicist says, walking away. ‘Y’all are free to join me if you want. ... It might take me a bit to get back there, though.’

‘Sorry,’ Fluttershy apologizes as she gets up. ‘He just gives me a chill.’

‘He really seems familiar to me... I wonder from where...’ Twilight ponders.

‘Food first. Stranger bashing later,’ The Wandering Physicist says, continuing on.

A large group has formed backstage on the video gaming stage. They have all surrounded The Wandering Physicist, and they are angry. He is standing firm against them.

‘No. No rules are being broken. We cannot eject him without a cause,’ The Wandering Physicist avers.

‘What about Wheaton’s Law? Our unwritten Rule Zero?’ Dream Maker counters.

‘We have hundreds of overcharged ponies competing in tough, direct challenges. It is natural for some to be overzealous.’

‘It is plain rude is what is is.’ Selene snorts.

‘ “Who is your god now?” That wasn’t even five hours ago.’

‘That is beside the point.’

‘He is not just being a showboat. He is being a disruptive element. He has been annoying visitors to our shops,’ Coal Tale adds.

‘He strangled me for no good reason!’ Droll Tale also adds.

‘That was Rip, and you deserved it.’ Coal corrects.

‘Heh, heh. Yeah,’ Rip laughs.

‘I was using Snake and he beat me in the final round!’ Derpy complains.

‘All right, everypony. Calm down. I understand your complaints, but come on, the festival is almost over. We just have the last few rounds of the Pokemon league to finish on my end. I am sure we can end this without too much of a disruption.’

Kaeko goes over to The Wandering Physicist. ‘You have been the only one to resist taking action because he has not directly infuriated you in someway. If you do not stand with your friends now, we might not be quick to stand with you in the future.’

Kaeko turns and leaves. Most of the other ponies look back at The Wandering Physicist and follow too. Only Twilight, Selene and Derpy stay.

‘Sorry to lose my cool, Chief, but sensei is right,’ Derpy says.

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘I know. Letting it slide for this long has been tough, but I would rather not blight the show by losing my temper.’

Selene puts a hoof on The Wandering Physicist’s shoulder. ‘There are ways to fight without getting angry. I am sure if the time comes, you will think of something.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs again. ‘Let’s get the others. It is time for some E4 challenges.’

The final game of the Pokemon league is being played. Champion Fluttershy is defending against the last challenger, Maximilian. She is carefully picking her moves in hopes that...

‘Ha! I win! The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie is the greatest pony in all of Equestria!’

Maxie start creating more fireworks and laughing in celebration. At her seat, Fluttershy calmly closes her game, gets up and gallops away crying. She passes by The Wandering Physicist who is doing his best impression of her Stare focused on Maxie. In the audience, the other shop owners murmur and look at The Wandering Physicist. The other Pokemon masters, Twilight, Selene, Spike, and Derpy, watch their one friend leave then look over to see their other friend, silently seething. With a deliberate calmness, The Wandering Physicist gets up and walks over to the still-celebrating Maxie.

‘Very good on the win. You are the only one to make it that far and thus our new champion.’

‘The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie knew he would win. He will be a great and merciful champion to you all.’

‘Yes, yes... You did well, but I notice something amiss.’

‘Oh? And what is that? I followed all of the rules.’

‘I believe you are missing a badge.’ The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘I know it is not needed to get this far, but, you know, gotta catch ‘em all.’

‘What? Oh, you mean Gym Leader Hayate? I heard he was basically giving the badges away,’ Maxie scoffs. ‘I heard that nopony has even seen him. I don’t want to fight an opponent I cannot see.’

A small badge is tossed to the stage. Maxie looks from the badge up to The Wandering Physicist’s hoof, still extended from tossing the badge.

‘Really? I am the champion. You are the one everypony beat. You think you can take me?’

‘In my sleep, which, according to my friends, is apparently more aggressive than I normally play.’

‘Pfft. I don’t care. What is one more trinket to me?’

‘Then why don’t we make it interesting. One badge and bragging rights versus your title,’ Maxie scoffs again. ‘Unless you don’t think you can take the one trainer everypony else beat.’

‘Hmm.... Bring it on, as they say.’

‘Excellent!’ The Wandering Physicist turns to the back. ‘Let’s set up over here!’

A small team of Enforcers come out and start reconnecting the equipment. Rip Chord quickly gallops away.

‘What is going on?’ Maxie asks.

‘Oh, right. I was working on a special setup for the final round, but it got started before we could hook everything up. This will allow us to see the battle on the main screen without revealing our moves or our whole team.’

The Wandering Physicist puts his game cartridge into a device set in front of him. Maxie pauses for a moment then does the same. The device is activated and the game starts up. Rip returns with Jonathan Colton, quickly gets him a guitar, and hooks it up. Jonathan Colton starts playing some battle music. The first two Pokemon appear: a Lucario for The Wandering Physicist and a Victini for Maxie. The players input their moves. “Lucario used Focus Blast. It is super effective!” Victini is revealed to be a Zoroark and goes down.

‘What?! How did you know I had a Zoroark?’

‘Just a guess.’

Maxie sends out his next Pokemon, a Hydreigon. The players pick their actions. Their attacks hit. Lucario’s Illusion fails and it is revealed to be a Zoroark.

‘What the?’

‘I never said I didn’t have one too.’

They put in their next actions. Zoroark is switched for another Lucario, which takes the hit. Maxie growls.

The Wandering Physicist turns to the crowd. ‘Who wants to see Aura Sphere!’

The audience cheers, and the players put in their actions. Lucario uses Aura Sphere and takes out the Hydreigon. Maxie growls louder and sends out his next Pokemon, Blaziken.

‘Ha! Blaze Kick, go!’

Blaziken takes out Lucario in one hit, causing Maxie to cheer and the crowd to boo. The Wandering Physicist sends out an Empoleon. Maxie sneers again. The actions are put in. Empoleon takes a hit, but it wipes out the Blaziken. Maxie seethes and sends out Electross.

‘Ah. Looks like I am at a disadvantage. Dang,’ The Wandering Physicist taunts.

The players put in their actions. Empoleon takes a Zap Cannon and faints. A Salamenace comes out. Maxie grimaces for a second but readies an attack. The Salamenace goes down after being revealed to be Zoroark again.

‘Oh no. We are all tied up. Whatever shall I do?’ The Wandering Physicist chides.

‘Will you be serious?’

‘I am always serious, and don’t call me Shirley.’

The audience has a laugh as another Salamenace is sent out.

‘Maxie, did you know Electross is a lamprey?

‘What of it?’

‘Well, lamprey suck nutrients from their prey. Want to know what this one sucks?’

Maxie rolls his eyes. ‘What?’

‘Draco Meteor!’

The crowd cheers as the move is input. Salamenace is paralyzed by Zap Cannon, but it takes out the Electross. Maxie just scoffs and sends out Kingdra.

‘Oh dear. What have I there?’

‘A pretty good play since that has moves that are times four effective against two of my last team.’

‘And why are you revealing that?’

‘You showed me you Victini, good pick by the way. I thought I’d return the favor and show you my lone legendary. B-T-dubs, she is about twenty percent cooler than Victini.’

From the clouds, a cyan pegasus shouts a complaint. The Wandering Physicist sends out a Sky Forme Shaymin, causing a murmur in the audience. Maxie ponders his next move.

‘If you switch, I get a free hit on your Victini. If you don’t,’ he enters a command, ‘you get hit by Seed Flare. Your poison.’

Maxie inputs the action. His Pokemon takes the hit. He just grumbles and sends out Victini, his last Pokemon.

‘Damn. I don’t have anything that would do any good. Oh sigh.’ The Wandering Physicist taunts again.

He just puts in a command and takes the powerful V-Create attack. The Wandering Physicist feigns despair and sends out his last Pokemon, a level one Rattata. Those in the audience that know what is coming cheer. Maxie does not seem to get what is coming his way.

‘Really? That is it? That is your last resort? I can squash you in one hit!’

‘I doubt that is possible. You can concede now if you don’t want to be humiliated.’

‘You are really arrogant.’

‘I know.’

They input their commands. Victini roasts Rattata, but “Focus Sash keeps Rattata from fainting.”

‘What!’

Rattata uses Endeavor and takes Victini down to one HP too.

‘Last move, Maxie. Make it count.’

They put in their actions. “Rattata uses Sucker Punch. It is super effective!” The last HP is taken from Victini. Maxie screams in rage. The audience cheers.

‘In your face, Space Coyote!’

‘Space Coyote?’ Selene wonders.

The special game setup is turned off. Maxie quickly removes his cartridge. The Enforcers start breaking down the stage.

‘You have not heard the last of the Awesome and Magnificent Maxie!’

Maxie casts a smoke spell and gallops away using the spell as cover. He trips of a fallen cart wheel on his way out of town.

‘Oh! That is who he reminds me of!’ Twilight says.

The audience keeps cheering the victory. The other Pokemon masters on stage cheer too. The Wandering Physicist turns to the crowd and waves. Suddenly, he is tackled from the side. Fluttershy has glomped on to him.

‘You did it! You beat that big meanie! You are the greatest!’

Fluttershy gives The Wandering Physicist a big kiss on the cheek. He blushes while Twilight’s and Selene’s jaws drop. Once Fluttershy realizes what she just did, she instantly turns bright red and gallops away stage as Dream Maker and a red pony with a blue mane, Marvel Crystal, come on stage.

‘Way to go! That was an epic victory,’ Marvel says, slapping The Wandering Physicist on the back and knocking him to the ground.

Dream Maker helps The Wandering Physicist back up. ‘That was a great way to end the last tournament of the festival.’

‘I’d say you won some award, but I think Fluttershy already gave it to you.’ Marvel says, getting cheers from the audience.

‘Oh geez. She is never going to come near me again,’ The Wandering Physicist moans.

‘Look on the bright side, you can finally get some sleep.’ Dream Maker turns to the audience. ‘This pony has only slept six hours in the past three days.’

The audience cheers again.

‘That is a lie and you know it! It is more like five point seven hours.’ There are more cheers. Twilight tries calculating point seven hours in her head.

‘That will do. Take one last bow, then GET SOME REST!’ Marvel urges.

‘Whatevs.’ The Wandering Physicist turns to the audience. ‘Thank you for watching. We should be setting up a free play area for the rest of the festival, and the shops will be open for a while longer. Catch ya ‘round!’

The Wandering Physicist waves to the audience and heads backstage to cheers. The rest of his friends are waiting for him, even a highly embarrassed Fluttershy. They all congratulate him on winning the game.

‘You were great out there, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Marvelous, James. Marvelous.’

‘I knew you could take him, Chief.’

The Wandering Physicist sways a little and snores. His friends laugh. Suddenly, The Doctor pops in.

‘Molecular waveguides.’

‘By the Genesis display. Third shelf up.’ The Wandering Physicist says in his sleep.

‘Thanks, mate.’

The Doctor gallops out, leaving several confused ponies and a Slowly Collapsing Physicist.

Days later, The Wandering Physicist is working in his shop. He is getting the usual flow of customers. His Pokemon League and Team Fortress 2 awards are over the counter. He sighs contentedly as he watches over his shop. A new customer enters the shop. The pony approaches the main counter and sets down a wrapped box.

‘Why Miss Applejack, what can I do for you?’

‘Ah was there when ya took down that dern showboatin’ stallion. Ya really gave ‘im what he deserved.’

‘Thank you. That was the last act before I would have taken his horn and done something I cannot say in polite company.’

‘Ah understand where yer comin’ from. Anyway, it was a good thing ya did fer the neighborhood. This here is a little token of mah appreciation.’

The Wandering Physicist opens the box to reveal a pie. ‘Wow. Thanks. You really didn’t have to.’

‘Well, it is also mah way t’ finally be welcomin’ ya t’ Ponyville. The town is better fer havin’ ya.’ The mare blushes. ‘Sorry fer bein’ so mean t’ ya.’

The Wandering Physicist does a hoof pump. ‘I am credit to team!’

‘Heh, heh. Twi was right. Yer a weird one, but yer a fun one.’

‘That was the nicest thing someone has said to me all day. So, uh, like your hat in return.’

Applejack smiles, nods and leaves the shop. She looks back as she is leaving and get a wink from The Wandering Physicist. She continues out, blushing. The Wandering Physicist goes back to enjoying the day.

Author's Note

Fun Fact: Most of the Pokemon seen in the battle are my favorites. It was really tough coming up with teams that used ones I liked. I know neither of the teams are really tournament worthy, but I wanted to have fun with it. Also, I have played Pokemon in my sleep before. On several occasions.

Story timeline: First speaking appearance of Pinkie. First cameo of Rainbow Dash. Applejack and TWP make peace. Watch out for her.

Day Off to Work

Main Characters: TWP, Sweetie Belle, Rarity
Cameos: Derpy, Applejack
Original Write Date: October 14, 2011
Rewrite Date: February 28, 2012

The Wandering Physicist has a long day ahead of him. After the festival, he determined he needed an assistant and has set about hiring one. Round one, the application process, is done. He has two piles of applications in front of him, one for full-time work and one for part-time work. He closed The Power Block for the day so he will have enough time to go through them properly. He stares at the piles of papers. He then opens up Equestria Daily on his computer to check the news, even though their Twitter shows no new news in the past ten minutes. In a building full of video games, he looks for a distraction and finds it coming up the street. Rarity with her sister Sweetie Belle in tow come up to the shop. Rarity takes one look at the ‘Sorry. We’re Closed’ sign, looks in at The Wandering Physicist, then knocks on the door. He quickly leaves his counter and work and lets the sisters in.

‘So sorry to intrude,’ Rarity says, 'but I have a small favor to ask of you.’

The Wandering Physicist raises an eyebrow. ‘What is it?’

‘Our parents left Sweetie Belle with me for the day, but I have some errands to run that may be too tedious for my precious sister, thus I need a sitter for her. Since I have some to run around here, you were the first pony to pop into my head.’

The Wandering Physicist looks down at Sweetie Belle. ‘Uh... Couldn’t Applejack or the chicken’s family watch her instead?’

Rarity rubs the back of her head sheepishly. ‘Sweet Apple Acres is too far out of the way, and Scootaloo’s father.... just plain scares me.’

The Wandering Physicist thinks back for a moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before the festival. The Wandering Physicist and Dream Maker are meeting with the Mayor and a dark orange pegasus.

‘You are impeding our first amendment rights! We demand our right to protest this travesty!’ Scootaloo’s dad shouts.

The mayor sighs. ‘We have been over this already. Due to the limited access to that area of the city, you would be directly impacting access to the event. Not to mention we have a direct sanctions from Princesses Luna and Sparkle themselves to prevent your group from protesting the event.’

Scootaloo's dad stomps the ground in rage. ‘You have not heard the last of Westburro Church!’ He shoves his way out of the room. ‘Communists!’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘I see what you mean.’

Rarity busts out the doe eyes. ‘Pleeeeeease! I will repay you.’

The Wandering Physicist groans. ‘Fine. I doubt she will cause too much trouble.’

‘Excellent! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ll be back to pick her up this evening.’

Rarity starts leaving, but Sweetie Belle grabs her leg.

‘Please don’t leave me!’ Sweetie Belle begs. ‘Can’t I just stay at the clubhouse? You let me go there all the time.’

Rarity laughs. ‘Sweetie, you know I can’t trust you on your own, especially after that last incident.’

‘But I’ll be good this time! Besides, his mane grew back,’ the young filly argues.

‘Now Sweetie!’ Rarity frowns down at her sister. ‘It will only be a little while, and Mr Wanderer will take good care of you. When I get back, we will do anything you wish! (As long as I don’t get too dirty.)’

Sweetie Belle sits on the floor in a huff. ‘Fine.’

Rarity gives her sister a kiss on the head, bows slightly to The Wandering Physicist and leaves. He locks the door after Rarity and goes back to his work. He picks up the first application and looks at the name: ‘Snails’. He stares at the name for several seconds. He sets the application down and the ‘Maybe’ pile is born. He picks up the next application and looks at the name: ‘Selene’. He stares at the application and a cold sweat forms. The ‘I have to consider her or I will be killed’ pile is born.

The Wandering Physicist sighs and looks up. ‘Yo. Sweetie Belle. Can I ask you a question?’

‘Was that it?’ Sweetie Belle counters.

The Wandering Physicist gets out a drink from under the counter. ‘Very funny. Anyway, what shopping does your sister have in this area? She doesn’t seem like the type that reads comics or listens to indie music.’

Sweetie Belle thinks. ‘I think she is on her monthly “ya-oi” run.’

The Wandering Physicist spits out his drink, fortunately away from his electronics.

Sweetie Bell looks up innocently. ‘What is ‘ya-oi’ anyway?’

The Wandering Physicist buries his head in his hooves. ‘Stop saying that word!’ He moans to himself. ‘I can never look at her again.’

Sweetie Belle looks over at The Wandering Physicist, confused. She sighs and starts picking at nothing on the ground. The Wandering Physicist recovers and picks up the next application: ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’. He quickly opens a drawer. A light shines out, and The Wandering Physicist shoves the application inside, banishing it to another dimension.

Sweetie Bell looks up. ‘What was that?’

‘Nothing!’ He thinks. ‘Hey. Want me to set up a console or something? I have every game you can think of.’

Sweetie Belle shrugs. ‘Sure. I guess.’

‘Excellent! Let’s see if we can find something you like.’

The Wandering Physicist has gotten through half his piles. There are a few more ‘Maybes’. Sweetie Belle is lazily playing Mare-io Kart. Both moan out of boredom.

‘Kid, never grow up. Work sucks.’ The Wandering Physicist moans.

Sweetie Belle whines. ‘But if I don’t grow up, I won’t get my cutie mark. And I want my cutie mark!’

‘If you are that desperate, I have a hotplate you can sit on.’

Sweetie Belle gasps in horror.

‘Oh, I am just joking.’

There is a tap at the door. An overloaded Derpy waves to get in. A strange buzzing comes from under the counter and the door opens. Derpy brings in a large number of boxes and sets them on the counter.

‘How is the search going?’ Derpy asks.

‘Miserable.’ The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to change professions?’

Derpy pretends to think. ‘Hmmmm..... Nope! I love what I do. Plus, I get to go on plenty of adventures with The Doctor! Those are really fun, but I am not supposed to talk to anypony about them.’

‘If you’re not supposed to talk about them, how can you tell us that much?’ Sweetie Belle asks.

Derpy looks over at Sweetie Belle. ‘Cute kid. Who’s the dad?’

Sweetie Belle gags. ‘Eeew! Gross!’

‘Rarity asked me to watch her for the day,’ The Wandering Physicist explains.

Derpy nods. ‘Ah. On one of her restock runs. It is always fun handling the fancy materials she orders.’

‘Dumb fabric,’ Sweetie Belle mumbles to herself.

‘Just be careful with some of her more personal orders,’ The Wandering Physicist shudders.

Derpy giggles. ‘I’ve seen those packages from J-List.’

The Wandering Physicist moans and slams his head to the counter. Derpy laughs. Sweetie Belle opens her mouth to ask a question.

The Wandering Physicist does not look up. ‘Don’t say that word!’

Sweetie Belle crosses her forelegs. ‘Dumb adults.’ She pouts.

‘Anyway, I have a busy day ahead of me. See you around.’ Derpy says with a wave to her friends.

Derpy leaves the shop. The Wandering Physicist looks up. He picks up the next application, looks at it and puts it in the ‘I have to consider her or I will be killed’ pile.

The Wandering Physicist looks over the shop. ‘Sweetie Belle, are you getting hungry?’

Sweetie Bell shrugs. ‘I guess.’

‘Good. Let’s get out of here. I think I know just the place.’

A while later, The Wandering Physicist and Sweetie Belle are back from lunch, having made a quick stop at Neighponese Imports. In exchange for confirming Rarity’s shopping habits and a very loud, painful yell, the pair has stocked up on Neighponese snacks and manga. Sweetie Belle snacks on her new favorite food, Pocky, and reads a manga she got as a gift. The Wandering Physicist finishes up the applications.

‘I don’t get this. Why does she keep going if she is so sick?’ Sweetie Belle asks from her comic.

‘That is one of the beautiful things about Full Moon! Mistuki gets to live her dream of being a singer. She gets to see what life would be like if she were able to earn her cutie mark and fulfill her destiny.’ The Wandering Physicist answers without looking up from his work.

‘I guess that is a good story... And I really like her mane!’

The Wandering Physicist finishes the last application and sighs. He goes to his computer and, ignoring the latest story updates on EqD, he selects about a dozen names from a list and runs a script that sends out an automated message to all applicants about their application status. He stops to stare at the remaining dozen names and sighs again.

‘Well, that is done. I guess I can open up for a bit.’

The Wandering Physicist goes to the door, unlocks it, and flips the sign around so it now reads ‘Sorry, We’re Open.’ As soon as he does this he gets a visitor.

‘We meet again, Mr Purple,’ The Wandering Physicist grins.

‘What?’ Applejack is confused. ‘Ah am neither a “mister” nor “purple”.’

‘Nerd joke. ... Obscure nerd joke.’

‘Ah hope Ah never figure out even half the thin’s ya say.’

‘Applejack!' Sweetie Belle cheers. 'Is Apple Bloom with you?’

‘Sorry, sugar cube. Ah jus’ came by t’ see how y’all were doin’ with Rarity out o’ town and all.’ Applejack replies.

The Wandering Physicist is shocked. ‘Wait. What?’

‘Y’all didn’ know? Shoot. Ah would have thought Rarity woulda told ya since she stopped by mah farm on her way t’ Manehatten. Wanted t’ pick up some apples fer the road.’

The Wandering Physicist starts pacing. ‘No, no, no. This can’t be. She didn’t mention anything about going that far. I didn’t get any warning. I am not prepared for this. I mean, she even said that your place was... in the completely opposite direction of Manehatten.’

The Wandering Physicist turns back to Applejack. She is covering her mouth to hide her snickering.

‘Ah’m jus’ messin’ with ya.’ Applejack laughs. ‘When she stopped by mah cart and mentioned ya were watchin’ Sweetie Belle, Ah guess Ah got the Pinkie Pie prank bug and had t’ mess with ya.’

The Wandering Physicist smiles and shakes his head. ‘Oh, you’re a tricky one. With Pinkie, you see it coming, but with you...’

‘Heh, heh. Guess Element o’ Honesty can throw ponies off sometimes, but Ah can have fun, too.’

The Wandering Physicist grins evilly. ‘Just so you know. I will get you back.’

Applejack starts leaving. ‘Bring it.’

The two laugh. Sweetie Belle goes back to her comic. The Wandering Physicist sits next to her and starts playing the video games they left out.

Evening. The Wandering Physicist is still playing the game. Sweetie Belle is really enjoying her comic, and her face is covered in Pocky remains. There is a light knock on the door as Rarity enters.

‘Heeellooo! I am back.’ Rarity cheers.

Rarity is grabbed around the neck in a hug.

‘Oh thank Sagan! The nightmare can end,’ The Wandering Physicist greets.

Sweetie Belle starts packing up her things. ‘Hey!’

The Wandering Physicist frees Rarity. ‘Just joking. It has been... a day.’

Rarity is confused. ‘Was it at least a good day?’

The Wandering Physicist and Sweetie Belle look at each other then back at Rarity.

‘It has been a day.’ Sweetie Belle replies.

‘Also, she is addicted to Pocky now.’ The Wandering Physicist pulls Rarity aside. ‘Seriously. She needs help. She is up to three packs a day.’

‘Hey!’ Sweetie Belle protests.

The Wandering Physicist smiles back. ‘Just messing with you.’ He turns to Rarity. ‘She has been pretty good all day long. No real trouble.’ His eyes dart. ‘Keep her away from chopsticks.’

Rarity laughs. ‘I’ll keep that in mind. Come along, Sweetie Belle.’

Sweetie Belle gets her pack and goes over to Rarity.

‘What do we say?’ Rarity says.

Sweetie Belle bows. ‘Thank you for watching me, Mr Wanderer.’

Rarity bows too. ‘Yes, thank you. I owe you for being a good guardian.’

‘Aw, it was not problem.' The Wandering Physicist shrugs.

‘No, no. A lady always repays her debt. I’ll be in touch.’

The Wandering Physicist nods. ‘I’ll look forward to seeing you again.’

The two adults bow a little to each other and Rarity and Sweetie Belle leave the shop. The Wandering Physicist looks around and checks the time. He stretches a bit and heads upstairs to his living area to make some dinner and put on some tea.

Author's Note

To date, this is the only story to get rewritten. It was originally done in a completely different style. Most of the original is intact with this version, but this is the only one I have modified and kept up to date.

Story events: Started a series of jokes about Rarity's proclivities. At the time, she was my least favorite of the main cast. Around chapter 70, I start trying to reverse the damage done over the course of the series. In the sequels, she is treated with the respect she deserves.

Tea with The Doctor

Main Characters: TWP, The Doctor (10)
Cameos: None
Original Write Date: October 16, 2011

It is a dark night in Ponyville. An odd whooshing sound fills a back alley, and a blue box materializes out of nowhere. A light brown pony steps out and drags himself to a nearby door. He trudges in, goes up a set of stairs and sits down at a table.

‘I could really use a cup of tea.’

A cup of tea slides up to him almost instantly.

‘I put a pot on as soon as I saw you dropping Derpy off across town.’

‘Thanks, mate.’

The Wandering Physicist sits opposite The Doctor. Both have a cup of tea.

‘How have things been, Theta?’

The Doctor sighs. ‘I am just getting in a lot of trouble.’

‘Cybers?’

‘Worse.’

‘Daleks?’

‘Worse.’

‘Ah. Derpy. She is an enigmatic one. The brains of Twilight. The randomness of Pinkie. The caring of Fluttershy. Like some sort of Elements Voltron.’

‘Interesting how you go straight to the Elements.’

‘They’re some of my best customers.’

‘I’ve seen the way Twilight looks at you. She wants what you’re selling.’

‘I can say the same to you about how Derpy speaks of you.’

‘Heh, heh. Don’t be daft.’

‘A mysterious pony in a brown overcoat that can whisk you through time and space. What is not to love?’

‘Is the overcoat a bit much?’

‘At least it is not as pompous as a fez.’

‘I agree with you there.’

The two take a drink of their tea.

‘That Selene lady likes you as well.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Ugh. Tell me about it.’

‘All right. I will. She comes in here at least once a week and makes googly eyes at you while pretending to help you with your shop.’

‘You don’t have to take everything I say literally.’

‘Yes, and The Doctor never lies.’

‘At least it seems you haven’t figured out who she really is.’

The Doctor thinks. ‘You know. She does seem familiar. Is she River in disguise?’

‘Nope.’

‘Don’t tell me she is Romana.’

‘Dear Sagan, no. You know how she was back at the academy. Come on. Think. What does she look like?’

‘Let’s see... Dark blue body and light blue hair.’

‘Right. Go on.’

‘A pair of wings...’

‘Uh huh. What else? Think out of the corner of your eye.’

The Doctor closes his eyes to think. ‘There is the moon cutie mark and... a large h.... No! It can’t be.’

‘Yep.’

‘And I thought you were playing with fire leading Twilight along.’

‘At least I am seeing someone closer to my own age.’

‘Please, I am closer to her age than you are.’

‘Just because I don’t travel all over the universe for centuries at a time, doesn’t mean I haven’t seen my share of amazing things.’

‘Right. All of your video adventures. Beat any good bosses lately?’

‘Hey! I have seen the world. I still have my Type 90.’

‘Well, aren’t you fancy? Where were you during the war?’

‘Dude! Did you see the Wii? It has a controller that makes your movements happen in game! I had to be first in line! ... Twice!’

The Doctor facehoofs and shakes his head. ‘Now I know why you tried touching the Untempered Schism. You’re one of the ones that went completely bonkers.’

The Wandering Physicist drinks his tea. ‘That wasn’t why.’

‘Oh?’

‘Ever wonder about the name I chose?’

‘Which? You have a different one depending who you ask.’

‘What profession do you know that has the undying urge to try new things? To experiment and learn new things? To want to touch two bare wires to the tongue to see if they carry a live current?’

The Doctor thinks. ‘That name really fits now that you say it.’ Pauses. ‘Also, the Schism would have scattered your atoms across time and space.’

‘Wouldn’t that be cool?’

‘No. No, it wouldn’t.’

‘Come on. Haven’t you ever just wanted to reach out and touch it? Know what it feels like, what is smells like, what it tastes like?’

‘I think I was right. You are completely bonkers.’

‘I never said I wasn’t.’

The pair drink their tea. The Wandering Physicist gets up and gets a box of biscuits. He also refills their tea.

‘How’s the hunt for a companion going?’ The Doctor asks.

‘I am looking for an assistant, not a companion.’

‘Assistant, companion, partner. Whatever.’

‘Anyway, the “hunt” is okay. I’ll be meeting with the applicants starting tomorrow.’ He sips his tea. ‘Most just wanted to hang out and play games. I barely got a dozen good applicants, and two of them are only because they would kill me otherwise.’

The Doctor laughs. ‘I don’t think that is one disaster even I can save you from.’

‘I think I have found a way to let them down easy without using up too many regenerations.’

‘Best of luck, mate.’

‘Hopefully, one will let me look like you so I can steal Derpy...’

‘Hey! Derpy is my companion! No stealies!’

‘I’ll give you Luna.’

The Doctor raises a hoof in argument, then stops. ‘Hmm. I’ll think about it.’

‘So, where did you just get back from?’

‘A wonderful planet! Mountains made of pure gemstones, singing trees, skies that light up all colors throughout the day... giant robotic spiders that spit fire controlled by a madman that wanted to turn the planet’s inhabitants into his personal army of mindless slaves.’

‘Sounds nice.’

‘It was once your face was safe from being eaten off by a horde of angry villagers.’

‘Naturally.’

The pair finish off their tea. The doctor gets up.

‘Well, I should be heading out. I want to get some rest before figuring out my next adventure.’

The Wandering Physicist thinks. ‘What is it that you do around town? I haven’t quite figured it out.’

‘I pose as a clockmaker. Or maybe I am a handyman. I could possibly be the town doctor since most ponies you ever see are nurses. Who really knows.’

The Wandering Physicist glares. ‘Want a job at a video game shop? We have flexible hours.’

‘I’ll have to pass.’

The pair head to the door. The Doctor bows and takes his leave. The Wandering Physicist starts cleaning up. The odd whooshing sound returns and goes away. The Wandering Physicist stretches and heads to bed.

Interview with a Pony

Main Characters: TWP, Lucas, Twilight, Luna/Selene, Droll, Angel Bunny, Snails
Cameos: Diamond Crystal
Original Write Date: 10/16/2011

The Power Block, Ponyville’s lone video game store, is once again closed, but for a very important reason. The Wandering Physicist, the store’s owner and lone operator, is looking for an assistant. After weeding out a number of applications, the remaining applicants are gathered in the store for the final interview.

The Wandering Physicist looks out over the dozen applicants in his shop, two of which are pretty conspicuous. Twilight Sparkle, the town’s librarian and princess, is sitting by the counter waiting for her turn. Also, Selene, secretly Princess Luna, is attracting a lot of attention to herself due to her impressive presence. Another interesting applicant is Snails, a young unicorn colt, who does not seem to be all there. He is currently conversing with Droll Tale, the brother of the local indie/used/self-published bookstore owner. There are also a few more young ponies and a couple older ones. A younger, light gray unicorn colt with a brown mane called Lucas Grainbourough is looking very nervous. The most unusual applicant is a small rabbit, Fluttershy’s rabbit friend Angel Bunny. He is currently looking annoyed at another applicant he is playing a handheld game against.

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘All right. First applicant, you’re up.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Question 1: What is your favorite game?

Snails:

‘In Sonic, you go really fast!’

Droll:

‘FarmVille is the greatest game ever made. ... Forever.’

Angel:

Angel mimes shooting a gun.

‘Halo?’

Angel shakes his head and mimes again.

‘Call of Cutie?’

Angel stomps his foot and mimes once more.

‘Gears?’

Angel shakes his head ‘yes’ and sits down in a huff.

Lucas:

‘I know it is weird, but I love Touhorse.’

Selene:

‘I’ve been playing a lot of Sins of a Solar Empire a lot recently. For some reason, that game really speaks to me.’

‘Really.’ The Wandering Physicist says, heavy on the sarcasm.

Luna glares. ‘Majora’s Mask is pretty cool too.’

Twilight:

‘Wow. Tough question. You introduced me to Legend of Celestia first, but the Mare-io series is great too...’ Twilight taps her hoof on her chin while she thinks. ‘Well, to be perfectly honest, I have been really enjoying the Uncharted games recently.’

Question 2: Who is your favorite character?

Snails:

‘I like Yoshi. He’s pretty.’

Droll:

‘Tingle! Kooloo Limpah!’

Angel:

Angel motions with his paws.

‘Cream the Rabbit?’

Angel facepaws and gestures again.

‘Namingway?’

Angel shakes his head and tries doing an imitation of the character.

‘Peppy Hare?’

Angel glares and points to a nearby game.

‘Oh! Marcus Fenix. Why didn’t you say so?’

Angel’s glare intensifies.

Lucas:

‘I hate that question.’

‘Why is that?’

‘Well, everyone assumes it is one of the two characters they think I was named after. Just because I have a video gamey sounding name and a cutie mark of Final Fantasy crystal, they think I was born to play video games.’

‘That’s what it means in my case. Besides, I just want to know your favorite character. It doesn’t matter who it is.’

‘Oh. Right. Sorry. I’m a big fan of Ayla from Chrono Trigger.’

‘Cavemare all in furs, eh?’

‘Yeah... I mean!’

The Wandering Physicist laughs.

Selene:

‘For some reason, I really relate to the Golbez character in the Final Fantasy IV games.’

The Wandering Physicist tries really hard not to comment.

Twilight:

‘I think Gordon Freepony is pretty cool.’

‘Hmm. That is an interesting choice.’

Twilight blushes. ‘I like a good physicist.’

The Wandering Physicist blushes too.

Question 3: What is your favorite type of game?

Snails:

‘I like 3D platformers.’

Droll:

‘Rhythm games!’ Droll gets up and starts dancing.

Angel:

Angel clearly mimes First Person Shooters.

Lucas:
‘My friends tease me for it, but I like NRPGs. I just think they make RPGs more fun and colorful in Neighpon.’

Selene:

‘Sandbox crime is fun. It feels good to play the villain sometimes.’

The Wandering Physicist just nods.

‘Final Fantasy games are good too since you always play as a persecuted youth fighting against an ancient, evil empire.’

‘Huh. I never noticed that.’ The Wandering Physicist once again says with a thick layer of sarcasm.

Twilight:

‘RTS. They are so fun to organize everything.’ Twilight giggles.

Question 4: What is your favorite type of food?

Snails:

‘I like PopTarts!’

Droll:

‘Are you asking me out?’

‘Yes,’ The Wandering Physicist replies angrily. ‘We’re going to have cupcakes!’

Angel:

Angel mimes carrots.

‘Ah! Long pointies. Very tasty.’

Angel starts developing an eye twitch.

Lucas:

‘I don’t know. I am really eclectic. I am usually game for anything.’

Selene:

Luna blushes. ‘Are you asking me out?’

The Wandering Physicist blushes. ‘What? I just want to, uh, know in case it comes up.’

‘Oh. Well. I like Istallion.’ Luna winks. ‘You know, the food of romance.’

The Wandering Physicist quickly looks around for a possible escape route if she tries jumping him.

Twilight:

Twilight blushes. ‘Are you asking me out?’

The Wandering Physicist blushes. ‘What? I just want to, uh, know in case it comes up.’

‘Oh. Well. I would be happy with whatever you like.’

The Wandering Physicist blushes more and tries hiding behind his notebook.

Question 5: What do you think of the video game industry?

Snails:

‘They make games.’

The Wandering Physicist waits for Snails to possibly finish, but the young colt just scratches his nose. The stallion sighs.

Droll:

‘They come into your house at night and steel your teeth.’

The Wandering Physicist rubs his temples. ‘What do they want with your teeth?’

‘No, no. They don’t take them. They cover them in metal, thus steeling them.’

The Wandering Physicist lets out a loud moan.

Angel:

Angel does a number of complicated arm movements, then gets his whole body involved with backflips and even sparklers. He ends in a complicated pose.

‘Well, I don’t care what you say, ActiBlizzard is still a dick company.’

Angel’s jaw drops. He jumps down from his chair, kicks the door open, and stomps out.

The Wandering Physicist gives chase.

‘What? I diss a company you like and you march off in a huff? Come on!’

Angel stomps out of the store and makes a gesture that would have had more impact if he had fingers.

‘Damn it! I lost my front runner.’ The Wandering Physicist turns back to the rest of the applicants. ‘Next!’

Lucas:

‘Yeah... I am a huge Neighponese game fan so I am not the right person to ask about this... Oh wait! I think DRM policies are a joke. They cause more piracy than they prevent and make sharing games with friends a pain. Stupid DRM.’

Selene:

‘We need more indie developers to crush the established companies and bring the industry back to innovating and put more unique games on the market. They would be able to drive down prices, level the playing field, increase competition, unite the lands, efficiently devise a simpler, fairer tax plan, end the reign of spoiled nobles, bring peace with our neighbors, and rule over night and day justly!’

Luna ends with a grand flourish, complete with patriotic music being subtly played from nowhere. The Wandering Physicist stares back in shock. Luna catches herself, looks away and looks ashamed.

‘I mean, go indie developers. Whoo.’

Twilight:

‘Oh! I read a book on this!’

‘Dear Sagan.’ The Wandering Physicist groans to himself.

Twilight clears her throat. ‘The gaming industry is represented truly by three real prime players: the Neighponese developers, the Equestria Proper developers and the independent developers. There are also developers in other places like Canidia, but they are too similar to the two major entities, the Neighponese or Equestrians, to be counted separately. The two major entities have a major battle between them where both see their style of game making as the “right” way and the other as being somehow wrong. The critics seem to buy into that philosophy and both sides of the debate fail to realize that they are making games for their people and not necessarily for everyone. Only Neightendo seems to want to make games universally fun. On the other hand, the indie developers are always coming out with new and innovative games. Even if their core concept is not original, the stories and gameplay are extremely fun. Not to mention that it gives innovators a chance to share their creative talents, even if it is not a lucrative field.’

The Wandering Physicist snorts and jolts up. ‘I’m awake!’ Twilight glares deeply at him. ‘Oh come on! What is your opinion and not just what you read in a book or on Kotaku.’

‘Hmph! Fine. The console and PC gaming market are basically the same thing only with more freedom and customization on the PC. The handheld market is getting a threat from the mobile market, but let’s be honest, mobiles are not gaming platforms.’ Twilight turns her nose up. ‘Happy?’

‘Very. That was more what I wanted.’

Question 6: If I were to wear a hat, what kind would I wear?

Snails:

‘Fezzes are cooool.’

Droll:

‘One of those big fruit hats. Yummy.’

Lucas:

‘I don’t know. Ball cap maybe?’

Selene:

‘I like you without a hat.’ Luna winks.

Twilight:

‘That... is more of a question Rarity is best suited to answer. Sorry.’

Question 7: How many lights do you see?

Snails:

‘There are FOUR lights!’

Droll:

‘Five. Definitely five lights.’

Lucas:

‘Trick question. There are none directly in front of me.’

Selene:

Luna just smiles coyly, gets up, and turns off the room’s light. After a few seconds, there is a loud crash. A whirring sound is heard and the lights turn on. The Wandering Physicist is pinned to his desk by Luna.

‘I preferred off.’ Luna winks.

‘Eep!’

Twilight:

Twilight looks around the room and counts. ‘There are exactly two. Both CFLs.’

Question 8: Pepsi or Coke?

Snails:

‘Uh..... I like Crystal Pepsi.’

Droll:

‘Root beer!’

The Wandering Physicist resists killing Droll using happy thoughts of a Thomas Kemper.

Lucas:

‘Cherry Pepsi is the best.’

Selene:

Luna gets a wicked look on her face. She uses a spell to materialize a Brony Cola out of nowhere. She shakes it up and sprays it all over her. The Wandering Physicist falls out of his seat.

Twilight:

‘I enjoy a good Brony Cola on occasion.’

The Wandering Physicist turns bright red.

Question 9: How do you make a pocket-sized dimensional shifter out of a fused quantum regulator, two strands of dark matter tape, a neutronium shell fragment, and a paper clip?

Snails:

‘You use the dark matter tape to attach the neutronium to the regulator’s positron induction intake and use the paper clip to manually adjust the EM flux gate.’

The Wandering Physicist stares at Snails. He then checks a notebook, looks up at Snails, and back to the notebook. ‘If you can tell me how you knew that, the job is yours.’

‘Knew what?’

The Wandering Physicist facehoofs and points to the door.

Droll:

‘Pizza rolls,’ Droll says in a deadly serious face.

Lucas:

‘Build a what with a who?’

Selene:

‘Oh! That is a Minecraft thing, right?’

Twilight:

Twilight pulls a dictionary out of her pack. ‘I know you made half of those words up just now.’

Question 10: If you get this position, how likely are you to kill me and usurp my title?

Droll:

‘I already did.’

‘Then how am I still alive, genius?’

‘Because you’re a hologram.’

The Wandering Physicist facehooves. ‘Really? How can you tell?’

‘Because I am a hologram too.’

‘Sooo... If I beat you with a baseball bat, you won’t actually get hurt?’

The Wandering Physicist picks up a baseball bat.

‘Uh...’

Droll runs out of the room before The Wandering Physicist can catch him.

‘Stop him! He must die!’

Droll escapes the shop before anypony can react. The Wandering Physicist follows him out of the door.

‘I’ll get you yet!’

‘No you won’t,’ Diamond Crystal, one of the owners of the comic shop next door, says as she comes out of her shop with a package. ‘We have all tried.’

‘I know, but he expects us to say it.’

Both store owners sigh and return to what they were doing.

Lucas:

‘If I strike you down, you will no doubt come back stronger than before.’

Selene:

‘It wouldn’t be the first time I tried something like that.’ Luna laughs evilly.

The Wandering Physicist cowers under his desk.

‘I am joking!’

Twilight:

‘What? Why would I want to do that? I would never do that!’

‘Are you willing to take an oath to that?’

‘I’ll do you one better. I’ll Pinkie Pie Swear.’ Twilight clears her throat. She mimes the actions as she says them. ‘Cross my heart, hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my... Ah!’ She screams as she accidentally shoves a hoof into her eye.

‘Are you okay!’

Twilight rubs her face. ‘I’m fine. It is not like that is the first time that happened...’

Question 11: If you were trapped on the moon for one thousand years, what three games would you take with you?

Lucas:

Lucas thinks. ‘Hmm... Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy VI and Super Mare-io World.’

The Wandering Physicist stares at Lucas. ‘I want to have your foals.’

Lucas looks around nervously and shifts in his seat.

Selene:

‘I hate you so much right now.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs evilly.

Twilight:

‘Hmm... That would be a good question for Luna...’

The Wandering Physicist laughs evilly while Twilight thinks.

‘I don’t know. Command and Conquer, for one. Maybe Tales of Symphonia. I really like Presea’s voice actress for some reason.’ Twilight thinks some more and gets a crafty grin.

‘Steam does not count as a game.’

‘What the f...’

Question 12: What is your opinion on used games?

Lucas:

‘They are a necessary evil. The gamer doesn’t want to always pay full price for an old game that may not have a Platinum addition yet. The publishers’ way of dealing with the problem has been offensive to the player. If there were more of a focus on digital distribution or cloud gaming, then the used game market might not be that dangerous of an issue for publishers and developers.’

Selene:

‘I’m chill with them... if it is a big publisher or big developer or an older system. You don’t want to hurt the smaller weaker, little sister developers and keep them from taking their rightful place as equals.’

The Wandering Physicist pauses. ‘Have you tried talking to your sister about all of your unresolved feelings?’

Luna looks ashamed. ‘I can’t go near her without her offering me a banana...’

‘Do I even want to know what that means?’

Luna shakes her head and a single tear falls.

Twilight:

‘Hmm... While they are good for the consumer, the sell does not help the developer or publisher. That might cause them to add content that is only available at sell time or single-use codes that would discourage players from buying used.’

‘You’ve been reading my blog, haven’t you?’

‘You gave me a modded Wii with all of the Legend of Celestia games preloaded. How is that not supporting the used game industry?’

‘How much did I charge you?’

Twilight pauses. ‘Well, um, you di...’ She sits back in a huff. ‘Shut up.’

~~~~~~~~

At the end of the interview, Luna sits in her seat smiling. She is still dripping a little from her stunt earlier. The Wandering Physicist goes over his notes.

‘Soo... Is that the last question?’

‘Well, I do have one more...’ The Wandering Physicist looks up. Luna beams at him. ‘Did you really think you could pull this off?’

Luna is a little shocked. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Luna. Come on. Do you really think you can pretend to be a normal pegasus working in a shop and still guard the night and keep this whole thing a secret from your sister?’

‘Well, I, um...’

‘You and I both know that the only person less subtle than her is sitting across from you. Would you really want her popping in to visit you at work?’

‘I never thought about that.’

‘Not to mention that Twilight, Derpy and many others in this town are quite clever, and you run a chance of them seeing through your disguise.’

Luna sighs. ‘You’re right.’

‘That doesn’t mean you still can’t visit as often as you normally do.’

Luna smiles again.’ That’s right!’ There is a pause between them. ‘Plus, I have to help you get sturdier furniture.’ Luna winks.

‘Eep.’

Twilight shifts in her seat nervously. She had not been interviewed since she got into Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and she felt like this interview went just as well, only with no Sonic Rainboom to save the day. To make matters worse, the seat and floor around her are very sticky, like they were soaked in soda recently. The Wandering Physicist looks up from his notes. He opens his mouth to talk.

‘Please don’t ban me from the store forever! I didn’t meant to offend you! Please don’t hate me!’ Twilight drops to the ground and begs.

‘Uh... Do you really want to get sticky? ... Sorry.’ That didn’t come out right... Don’t think ‘That’s what she said.’

‘Oh. Sorry. Heh, heh.’ Twilight pulls herself from the ground and grimaces as her hind legs are now sticky.

‘Anyway. I have but one last important question for you...’

Oh no. Oh no! OH NO!

‘Do you...’

Okay. So far so good.

‘really think that...’

Oh no! I answered something wrong!

‘this is the right move for you?’

S#!T! He doesn’t like me anymore! Twilight bursts out crying, seemingly for no reason. ‘My life is ruined! I can’t believe I have been so dumb and naive! Stupid Twilight! Now, you’re going to end up crazy and alone and surrounded by cats!’

‘Uh....’

‘I should just borrow those comics Rarity keeps trying to loan me and get it over with!’

This time, The Wandering Physicist is the one that screams. He screams loud enough to get Twilight to stop her sobbing and make the remaining applicants outside question whether or not they really want the job.

‘Twilight, you know what that word means, right?’

‘You mean ya...’

‘Never! Say! It! Again! And if you even so much as touch one of those comics, I will make whatever misguided fantasy you were just in happen for real. Got it?’

Twilight nods, no longer sad but a little scared.

‘Now, as I was trying to ask, do you think it is really a good idea for you to do this now? Do you really think it is a good move to give up your role as a princess and come work in some dingy shop just ‘cause you like a guy?’

‘I never thought about that...’

‘It is very nice to know that you are willing to join me on this crazy adventure, but I don’t want you to give up on your original dreams just because you think it would be fun to work in game shop. I am certain you have a better destiny out there. I will always be there for you no matter what, but I don’t think you are the right person to run this shop at this time.’ The Wandering Physicist closes his notebook as he finishes reading a small script he wrote inside of it. She is so going to see through me...

Twilight thinks about what was just said to her. After much careful consideration, more consideration than The Wandering Physicist would have liked if he expected to survive, Twilight gets a very happy (or in The Wandering Physicist’s interpretation a very I-am-going-to-kill-you-because-I-am-a-woman-and-that-is-what-we-do) smile.

‘Okie Doki... uh... Loki!’ Twilight says, channeling Pinkie Pie.

The alicorn hops out of the seat, getting her hooves sticky. She grumbles and casts a spell to desticky herself. She walks over to The Wandering Physicist.

‘You are a great friend for thinking of me and reminding me of why I am here. Thank you!’

Twilight leans in and kisses The Wandering Physicist on the cheek, but he is so nervous that he falls from the chair.

‘You know, you really need some sturdier furniture. Maybe I can help you find some!’

The Wandering Physicist falls again as he tries getting back up.

The day has been long. The Wandering Physicist is tired from all of the interviews. Lucas is tired from all of the waiting. He is also scared and confused since the floor is very sticky and wet from soda and tears. The interview is over, and both ponies are ready to call it a day. The Wandering Physicist collects his notes and sets them on the desk. He leans back in his chair, which gives a creak from all of the stress put on it this past day.

‘Sounds like you need a stronger chair.’

The Wandering Physicist groans. Lucas starts leaving.

‘So, uh, you’ll be in contact with us?’

The Wandering Physicist moans.

‘Okay...’

Lucas steps out of the office.

‘Yo. Lucas.’

Lucas turns back. ‘Yes?’

‘You hungry? I know a great Neighponese place. My treat.’

‘Uh... Sure?’

Back at The Power Block, The Wandering Physicist and Lucas are playing games in his lounge. Both are sporting full bellies.

‘Sir, once again, thanks for the great meal. It was amazing.’

‘Yeah. Soba is a lot better fresh like that. Same with most foods, actually.’

‘And how we got there...’

‘That will be one of the things we cover at orientation tomorrow morning.’

‘What?’

‘Trying to tell you that you’re in. You got the job.’

‘Sweet! I promise you I’ll do a great job!’

‘You better after I tell you what all of your duties will entail.’

Lucas groans. ‘Ugh. Right.’ There is a pause. ‘Morning, huh?’

‘Yeah. I think we’ll start early, like around noon or so.’

‘Wait. What?’

‘Too early? We can bump it to noon-thirty if that is better.’

‘Uh... No, noon is fine.’

‘Great! PS: You just got pwned.’

There is an explosion on screen. Lucas moans and redoubles his playing efforts. The Wandering Physicist smirks and wonders what the future will hold with his new apprentice.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: Lucas cameoed in Level Up.

Story events: This was the first of a few 'interview' style stories where the general question is presented and the characters react. It is not a style that easily comes up easily, but it is fun to do.

Rage of a Time Lord

Main Characters: TWP, The Doctor (10), Twilight, Lucas, Rainbow Dash, Applejack
Cameos: Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie, Spike, Luna, Derpy
Original Write Date: 10/20/2011

The Power Block is experiencing an afternoon rush, but The Wandering Physicist and his assistant Lucas are easily handling things. The Wandering Physicist takes some boxes to the back. Suddenly, he quickly dashes out and looks around. Lucas stops talking with a customer to watch his boss.

The Wandering Physicist turns to the rest of the store. ‘Excuse me everypony! The shop has to close early today! If you are planning on purchasing something, just bring it to Lucas and you can get it at, oh, sixty percent off, but only ponies in the store right now. Don’t even think of calling your friends.’

The Wandering Physicist gallops into his office. He pulls a mobile in a holster onto his left foreleg with a headset in his ear and gets a small cylindrical object out of the desk. He gallops out through the store. He tosses the cylindrical object to Lucas.

‘Lucas, when you are done here, follow me to the Everfree and use the “key” to lock up!’

‘Gotcha, Boss.’

‘And move your flank as fast as possible!’ The Wandering Physicist manipulates his mobile briefly. ‘Hello? Twilight? Listen, I am going to be galloping past your place in a moment. Get as many of the Elements of Harmony with you as you can and follow me! No time for questions! Just do it!’

The Wandering Physicist charges through town. He does his best to dodge everypony in his way. He intentionally plows through Droll Tale as he passes. A small scooter being driven by an orange pegasus pulling a wagon with a white unicorn and a yellow earth pony swerves into his path. He ducks between the scooter and wagon as they almost hit him.

‘COOL!’ The Cutie Mark Crusaders cheer as The Wandering Physicist barely misses them and Scootaloo drives them right into a wall.

The Wandering Physicist keeps galloping with a purpose. He heads right past the library where Twilight Sparkle has been able to gather her friends Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.

‘Mr Wanderer, what is...’

The Wandering Physicist just keeps galloping.

‘Uh... After him!’

The three mares give chase, with Rainbow Dash the only one to barely catch up to The Determined Physicist.

‘Hey! What is going on? What are you getting us into, Jimmy?’ Rainbow Dash uses a more casual version of the nickname Luna gave The Wandering Physicist.

‘Something bad is about to happen. Something very bad.’ The Wandering Physicist nods towards a quickly approaching forest. ‘See that smoke? A friend of mine in in trouble.’

‘I hear ya!’

Rainbow Dash takes off at a full speed, barely edging ahead of The Wandering Physicist. At the edge of the Everfree Forest, a small blue, police box is standing. A foul smoke is coming from an unseen port and a cloister bell is chiming quite loudly. The Wandering Physicist lowers his head and just plows through the front door. The box is a lot bigger on the inside than on the outside. The Panicking Physicist sees The Doctor laying on the center console. He quickly scoops The Doctor onto his back and carries him out of the box.

Rainbow Dash pokes her head in the box. ‘Whoa! What is going on here?’

The Wandering Physicist pulls The Doctor’s tie off with his teeth and tosses it to Rainbow Dash. ‘Try not to breathe the smoke! Very noxious! Derpy is somewhere in there. Find her as quickly as possible. There are a lot of rooms, and I need someone with a lot of speed to find her.’

‘Great. What has Derpy gotten herself into this time?’ Rainbow Dash mumbles as she wraps her muzzle and takes off into the box.

Twilight, Pinkie, and Lucas catch up. Lucas is panting like crazy.

‘Twilight, Pinkie. Inside you’ll find a console. Start pulling levers and pushing buttons until the smoke stops or the sound stops. If you stop both, I will take you to the best dinner you will ever have in three galaxies! Be careful of the smoke.’

‘Roger!’ Pinkie salutes and darts into the box. A loud ‘COOL!’ comes from the box.

‘Mr Wanderer...’

‘Twilight, this is no time to talk. I need you to do this and fast!’

Twilight never heard The Wandering Physicist talk this way. She thinks for a second then rushes to help Pinkie.

‘Lucas, go on ahead and find Fluttershy. We are going to need a comfortable bed and a lot of tea. If she is not home, use the “key”.’

Lucas sighs, catches his breath and starts galloping ahead of his boss. The Wandering Physicist follows Lucas as fast as he can with his passenger. Shortly into the journey, Applejack gallops up besides the pair. She pushes in and takes some of The Doctor’s load.

‘Twi said y’all needed help. What’s goin’ on here? Is he okay?’

‘He’ll be fine. Lucas and Fluttershy should be getting everything ready to help care for him.’

Suddenly, there is a loud cough from their backs.

‘Der... Derpy.’

‘She’s fine. I have Miss Dash searching your TARDIS for her.’

‘No. She’s not there.’

‘What?’

‘I lost her, James. I lost her...’

The Doctor passes out again. The Wandering Physicist pushes harder as he and Applejack come into view of Fluttershy’s cottage.

The Wandering Physicist sits by The Doctor’s bed. He is scanning The Doctor using the cylindrical device he and Lucas were passing around. There is a steaming pot of tea on the nightstand by them. Outside, the other ponies are looking in and quietly spreading rumors about what is going on. The Wandering Physicist sighs.

‘Because it is a FAQ, he is fine, just needs some time to rest.’ There is a slight pause. ‘Come on, Theta...’

The Doctor coughs violently and wakes up. ‘Where am I?’

‘Fluttershy’s cottage. It was the closest place to where you landed. You are beat up pretty bad, but I’ve been giving infusions of tannins, too. You also have a number of small bruises and some light internal injuries, but your hearts are fine.’

‘How can you tell?’

The Wandering Physicist holds up his devise. ‘More advanced sonic. It was a gift.’

The Doctor tries to move. ‘We have to get back. Derpy is in trouble.’

‘You’re not going anywhere right now. We’ll get her back tomorrow when you’re in better shape.’

‘We can’t. I blew out my time coil crossing my timeline just to get here. My TARDIS will take days to heal herself.’

‘We have my TARDIS. I’ll replace the time coil, and yours will be better sooner than expected, too.’ The Wandering Physicist steps out of the room. ‘Lucas! We need a time coil from the stockroom.’ He tosses his sonic to his apprentice who catches it with his magic. ‘You’ll need to use setting thirty-seven among others to get in. Bring it to The Doctor’s TARDIS. No big rush this time.’

‘Got it, boss.’

Lucas makes his way through the others and heads out. The Doctor falls back into the bed.

‘Derpy... I left her there. I can’t believe I left her...’

‘You’ve said enough for now. Get some rest. We can talk about it tomorrow.’

The Wandering Physicist walks out of the room and closes the door behind him. Everypony else just stares at him, either expecting him or one of the others to talk first. Rainbow Dash is the first to do something by jabbing Twilight sharply. Twilight glares at Rainbow Dash, who motions for her to speak. She opens her mouth to talk but is instantly cut off.

‘I am certain you have a lot of questions. I promise you I will answer everything I can, but there is a lot I will not be able to answer.’

‘How about just starting by telling us what is going on?’ Twilight asks.

‘Hmm... Start with the hardest part first... Okay.’ The Wandering Physicist sits and leans against the door. ‘Simply put, The Doctor and I are not from this planet.’ Pinkie Pie lets out a huge gasp. ‘We are a race that travels across time and space as protectors and explorers. Whereas The Doctor prefers traveling, I am more sedentary.’

‘Judging by the gut, I can believe you.’ Rainbow Dash quips. Twilight jabs her friend. ‘What? Just sayin’.’

‘As I was saying, I prefer to stay around my friends while The Doctor prefers to travel with his friends. He currently travels with Derpy. Apparently, they got separated on their last trip, and he basically punched a hole in time to come get me.’

‘Wait a tick. How in the heck do y’all travel in time? And why do y’all look like us if ya ain’t from ‘round here?’ Applejack asks.

‘Well, we were here first. To be fair, it is more that you look like us.’

‘Oh! That makes total sense.’ Pinkie says. Everypony stares at her. ‘Wait. No, it doesn’t.’

‘Just chalk it up to galactic coincidence. The fact that we can change our appearance helps, too. Helps us blend in.’

‘So you can change what you look like? Why pick earth pony? Why not something awesome, like a pegasus!’ Rainbow Dash says. All of her friends, even Fluttershy, roll their eyes.

‘It is... complicated. Anyway, question time is over for now. I have to get to The Doctor’s TARDIS.’ He turns to Fluttershy. ‘Can you take care of things here? Just make sure he stays in bed until morning.’

‘Yes sir.’ Fluttershy answers.

‘Ah will help too, Fluttershy. Jus’ in case he tries somethin’ stupid.’ Applejack volunteers.

‘Excellent. I’ll see you in the morning.’

The Wandering Physicist leaves the cottage, closely followed by the other three ponies. He heads straight to the TARDIS without saying a word. The normally talkative Pinkie is eerily quiet when she notices the determination on The Wandering Physicist’s face and all of the concern shown by Twilight’s expression. They get to the box. Lucas is not there yet. The Wandering Physicist stares at the box for a moment, then pushes the door open. He takes a few steps in. Despite all of the ruckus earlier, it looks undamaged. A large shadow passes over the area. There is a loud thump as the Princess of the Night lands on the TARDIS.

‘Princess Luna!’ Twilight exclaims. She bows slightly while her friends just wave casually.

Luna looks over the situation, greatly confused. When she sees The Wandering Physicist and the TARDIS, she realizes something major is going on. ‘I spent a lot of time working with the weather teams to have wonderful weather for this night, but I found a foul smoke polluting my night. When I traced it, this is where it led. Can one of you explain what is going on?’

‘Well, Mr Wanderer there can explain better, but this is what I understand...’ Twilight begins.

While Twilight and her friends bring Luna up to speed, The Wandering Physicist goes over the consoles on the TARDIS. He finds one of the readouts and starts analyzing what little data it shows him.

‘What were you two doing...’ He pauses. ‘You know exactly which two of you I mean.’ Pause. ‘I never understand why the rest of them do what they do.’ Pause, then laughter. ‘Me too.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs to himself a bit more before he notices that he is being watched.

‘I think he went full Pinkie Pie...’ Rainbow Dash says.

‘Actually, I do believe he is on to something,’ Luna states. ‘I can feel a slight psychic presence resonating with my horn.’

Twilight focuses a bit and her horn glows. ‘I think I can feel it too.’

The Wandering Physicist leans towards the console. ‘I think they are on to us.’

As if to break the awkwardness, Lucas gallops up right on cue. He calmly enters the TARDIS and hands over the sonic and another small device.

‘Here you go. Can I go to bed now? I mean, after I am done with this heart attack.’

‘Thanks. You need your rest so we can do what we need to tomorrow.’

Lucas groans and starts heading back to his place. The Wandering Physicist takes the sonic and time coil and starts going to work under the TARDIS console.

‘Yes, I know this won’t fix you, but it will help you heal faster.’ Pause. ‘I always keep a spare stock just in case.’ Pause. ‘She runs quite nicely still. She should be in range if you want to ask her.’ Pause. ‘It was like that when I got her!’ The Wandering Physicist finishes the repair then runs the sonic over the console. ‘There. Shaved about three days off of your repair time.’ The TARDIS powers up and lights the room. ‘I guess you’re going to thank me later.’

The Wandering Physicist runs his sonic over the display and checks the readout. He starts inputting commands. The other ponies enter further and start really getting a good look at the TARDIS for the first time.

‘How can this be so much bigger on the inside?’ Luna ponders.

‘Dimensionally transcendental, silly. Duh.’ Pinkie answers.

Everypony stares at Pinkie, wondering how she knows that. The Wandering Physicist pops up from under the console again.

‘Okay! I am going to need a transphasic inductor, a neutrino flow capacitor, about two kilometers of conducting cable, and a large crystal of some sort, preferably purple. Oh! And a box of Jammy Dodgers.’

‘I love Jammy Dodgers!’ Pinkie chimes in.

‘Mr Wanderer, I think you have done enough for now.’ Twilight starts. ‘You should take a break. Maybe get some food.’

‘No time. We have to get all of the info we can if we are going to help The Doctor, and the first step is getting the TARDIS going. Now, where’re my Jammy Dodgers?’

‘Oh! My turn to help!’ Pinkie squeals.

Before Pinkie can run off, Rainbow Dash lands on her tail. Rainbow Dash shakes her head ‘no’ to Pinkie’s disapproving look. She looks over at Twilight who nods and charges a spell. She sneaks behind The Wandering Physicist and touches her horn against his head. The magic surrounds him, and he starts getting woozy.

‘Dude... Not cool...’

The Sleeping Physicist falls over. Twilight lifts him with her magic.

‘Let’s get back to the library. We can try to figure out what is going on there,’ Luna suggests.

‘Dash, catch up to Lucas. He seems to have some sort of understanding. Probably from his work with Mr Wanderer,’ Twilight says.

Rainbow Dash salutes and flies out. A loud scream followed by a ‘nooooo!’ is heard as Rainbow Dash finds her quarry. The others carry The Sleeping Physicist out of the TARDIS and close the door, which seems to lock on its own. As the others go ahead catching up a little, Twilight hangs back and ponders the situation.

The Wandering Physicist awakes in a strange bed. It is still dark out. He moans a little and tries getting up, but he cannot move. He tries struggling a little then gives up. He looks around at his surroundings then gets really red with embarrassment when he realizes he is in Twilight’s bed. He hears voices coming from the next room and can tell that it is Twilight and her friends discussing the situation. He figures that that The Doctor must also be under a sleep spell or guarded by a certain rabbit since he can hear Fluttershy, barely, and Applejack too. After the talking stops, the door opens and somepony enters. Since he hears no footfalls, The Wandering Physicist guesses it is either Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy.

‘Oh hey. You’re awake.’

‘... Miss Dash. ... Oh! I can talk!’

‘Heh, heh. Yeah. Twilight’s spell does a number on the nervous system. Just lay back and sleep.’ Rainbow Dash lands on the alcove next to the bed. ‘If you don’t, I’m here to make sure you do.’

‘I rather be out there getting ready.’

‘Whatevs.’ She pauses. ‘Hey. What is time travel like?’

‘I’m surprised you don’t know. I’ve seen you reach speeds above forty meters per second.’

‘What?’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Never mind. Time travel is interesting. You can see places you only imagined from reading a book... You can read, right?’

‘Watch it,’ Rainbow Dash glares while The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Wait. Are you saying I could go back and teach myself how to do a Rainboom?’

‘Oh, hell, no! You cannot change history.’

‘Why not? If I know how to do it early, The Wonderbolts would be sure to hire me.’

‘But if you joined them before Twilight came to Ponyville, who would be the Element of Loyalty to help fight Nightmare Moon?’

‘Duh. I would of, course.’

‘But The Wonderbolts weren’t in town for the Summer Sun Festival, so you wouldn’t have been here.’

‘But, I would have, I mean, me fast, and ... arg!’ Rainbow Dash holds her head as if in pain. ‘You win this round.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs again. Both of the ponies settle down and start trying going to sleep.

‘Want to know if you ever make it into The Wonderbolts?’

Rainbow Dash is instantly awake. She starts shaking The Wandering Physicist. ‘What! Tell me! Tell me now!’

The Wandering Physicist lets out a snore. Rainbow Dash snorts and goes back to the alcove.

The Wandering Physicist reawakes to a bright light. He reaches for his sonic to turn it off before he realizes that it does not have the range to reach the sun nor does he have his sonic. He settles for a mild curse to Celestia instead. He tries getting up again but finds he still cannot move. This time, it is because a certain cyan pegasus is laying across him. He groans and tries moving again. The door opens and very slow, nervous hooffalls come up to the bed. The Wandering Physicist leans over and waves at the approaching Twilight. She has a very concerned look on her face.

‘You may not have guessed it, but this is the first time I’ve slept in a filly’s bed,’ The Wandering Physicist says with a bit of a smile.

Twilight sighs, but otherwise does not seem to react. She just continues her approach.

‘Uh... I also think this is the first time either of the two ponies in this bed have gotten up before noon this month,’ The Wandering Physicist tries joking.

Twilight snorts lightly and stops by the bed. She sits by the bed and stares at The Wandering Physicist. He smiles sheepishly. Rainbow Dash snores.

‘Care to get me my glasses?’

‘You don’t need them.’

‘Uh... All the better to see you with?’

Twilight groans and levitates the glasses over and puts them on The Wandering Physicist’s face. He grins at her. She just glares back. He drops the ruse and sighs.

‘Fine. What do you want to know?’ The Wandering Physicist groans.

‘Why? Why did you keep this from us? From me of all ponies? Why!’

Rainbow Dash does not seem to stir from the outburst.

‘You know how parents can’t tell their kids everything without shattering their hopes? Or how sometimes, just sometimes you have to not tell the whole truth with a friend? Or maybe you have to give a misleading point of view that while true comes off as a hurtful lie?’

Twilight levitates Rainbow Dash off of the bed and climbs up. The Wandering Physicist sits to face her. ‘Are you trying to tell me it was for my own good? You lied to all of us to protect some stupid secret that there are time traveling alien ponies everywhere?’

‘Just two, actually. The Doctor and myself. … He, at least, has a good excuse.’

‘Why should I believe anything you say right now? Why should I believe anything you have ever said?’

‘Twilight... how long have we known each other? Have I ever lied?’ Twilight shakes her head ‘no’. ‘Have I ever done anything without there being a good reason for it?’ Twilight shakes her head ‘no’. ‘And, this is probably the most important, have I ever given you an answer to a question that while true was incomplete or missing key information?’ Twilight looks up at The Wandering Physicist with a few tears in her eyes. ‘First rule with physics is that not all things are certain and are open to interpretation.’

‘... We never asked specific details, and you only gave a broad answers... You knew what we were asking and how to not answer by answering.’

‘I am a horrible pony. What can I say?’

‘No! Don’t say that! You are are a good pony! Others just... need to get to know you better...’

The Wandering Physicist puts a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. ‘You don’t have to be this forgiving, but thank you.’

‘Can you promise me that you won’t keep something like this from me again?’

‘No, but I can promise to keep secrets like this with you.’

Twilight smiles for the first time that day. ‘I guess that is a start.’

‘Pfft! Get a room you, two!’ The pair on the bed look over to see Rainbow Dash watching them. She looks back and forth between them. ‘What? It is your fault for leaving me here if you wanted privacy.’

‘Yeah. I am never telling you,’ The Wandering Physicist says as he hops out of bed.

‘What! No!’ Rainbow Dash dives to The Wandering Physicist’s hooves. ‘You have to tell me! I’ll do anything!’

‘Anything?’

‘What are you two talking about?’

‘You know how fast you fly to do a Rainboom?’

‘Uh... yeah?’

‘Think you can maintain that speed all of the way to Canterlot and back?’ The Wandering Physicist grins evilly.

‘Uh...’

Everypony is gathered in Golden Oaks Library. Luna returned to Canterlot to report the situation her sister. Lucas hangs off to the side, still tired from his running the night before. The Doctor, relatively recovered, joins them. The table in the center of the room has a large pile of garden burgers and hay fries. Everypony is eating while discussing the situation. Rainbow Dash is passed out at the door, seemingly having several heart attacks simultaneously.

‘Are you sure it is okay to leave her like that?’ Fluttershy asks.

‘She “volunteered” to get us this. It is not our fault she is such a good friend,’ The Wandering Physicist replies. He picks up a burger and bites. ‘Oh! I am so glad we have one of them at least that close to here.’

‘Is this the super awesome delicious meal that you promised us! Because if it isn’t, I don’t see how it can get much better!’ Pinkie chimes in before burying her head in a pile of hay fries.

‘Now, a lady isn’t one to complain, but if there is food better than this, you are a hateful pony for holding out on us,’ Rarity says. Pinkie reaches to take a burger from near Rarity. Rarity stomps hard on Pinkie’s hoof. ‘Mine!’

‘As amazin’ as this here food is, Ah believe we gathered here fer a reason,’ Applejack says before returning to her apple shake.

‘Indeed!’ The Doctor adds before taking a big bite. ‘Oh divine! Right! Derpy and I were just traveling around going to places of interest. I thought it would be enjoyable to give her a bit of history.’

‘Oh geez. Where’d you go?’ The Wandering Physicist moans.

The Doctor looks around nervously then says, right before drinking his shake, ‘Battle of the Bassen Rift.’

‘What!’

‘That is an outrage!’ Pinkie joins in. ‘Why is that an outrage?’

‘Fifth Dalek-Cyber War. The Battle of the Bassen Rift is the site of the final conflict. It was so brutal to both sides that they declared peace rather than letting the fight continue.’ The Wandering Historian answers.

‘I thought we would be safe watching the peace process! I didn’t know it would get out of hoof!’

‘How did it get out of hoof, Doctor?’ Twilight asks.

‘Well, we landed all nice. We exited, and I was explaining the historical and cultural significance of the peace that follows. Suddenly we were the target! Like they had waited for just that moment to start attacking that specific spot! Both sides too! We ran. Well, I ran and she flew. I made it back to the TARDIS, but there was a large explosion and we were separated. I don’t know which side, but I think it was the Daleks, started targeting the TARDIS directly. I panicked and had her go straight to you.’ The Doctor puts hooves to his temples and shakes his head. ‘I left her. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to leave Derpy, but I couldn’t lose the TARDIS.’

‘Don’t worry, Doctor. You did the right thing. I have trouble asking for help, too.’

‘Are y’all sure y’all can help her? Sounds like ya got yerself a pretty dangerous situation there.’

‘Simple. You take the elegant solution and go back before they left and tell them not to go.’

‘And blow up half the universe when the time streams cross. Is that really elegant, Miss Rarity?’ The Doctor retorts.

‘Two questions,’ The Wandering Physicist states raising a hoof. ‘1) How do we know it is exactly half? B) Which half are we talking about? And three...’

‘No, we are not going to test that. You were told that countless times at the academy.’

‘I was still a kid. I hadn’t turned two hundred yet. Besides, it would be pretty awesome explosion to watch.’

‘I would have thought you would have grown out of such childish fancies when you reached three hundred.’

‘I would have thought you would have stopped visiting every tyrant in history and pressing flank by the time you reached seven hundred.’

‘I did grow out of it by seven hundred. ... I just replaced it with making funny faces behind their backs by seven fifty...’

‘Then which tyrant’s back are you looking at now?’

‘BOYS!’ Twilight shouts. ‘Derpy is in trouble somewhere in time and space, and you two are bickering like a pair of colts in kindergarten.’

‘But he started it!’ both Time Lords protest.

‘Wait a tick. How old are y’all?’

‘Oh. I am only somewhere around three hundred, give or take a decade. Still pretty young. Still haven’t had my first regeneration yet.’ The Wandering Physicist states proudly.

‘Punk kid.’ The Doctor snorts. ‘I’m around nine hundred and this is my tenth face. Feels like a lot longer, though.’

All of the girls are shocked at the ages, even the near immortal alicorn. Pinkie does some quick math in the air.

‘I am going to need to order A LOT more candles before your next birthdays.’

‘Dear lord, no.’ The Doctor says with a facehoof.

‘November fourteenth.’ The Wandering Physicist presses a button on his mobile. ‘I just sent you my Amazon wishlist.’ He looks around at everypony. ‘All of you.’

Twilight facehoofs too. ‘Over a dozen times my age and still acts like a child.’

‘I’m more than a dozen!’ The Doctor protests.

‘I think she means her beau, deary.’ Rarity interjects. Everypony snaps their attention to Rarity. ‘Oh, were we not supposed to mention it? Oopsie.’

An awkward silence fills the room. Suddenly, Spike pops up from the middle of the pile of food.

‘I’ve been listening in and in order to distract you from me eating all of this delicious food, I thought you were in the middle of planning to save Derpy from some cyber-somethings.’ Everypony looks at Spike now. ‘Uh... Gotta go!’

Spike disappears back into the pile of food. The Doctor and The Wandering Physicist slump back and think.

‘We have to go back there...’

‘And it has to be some point after I left...’

‘But not too soon or we could be caught in the bombardment.’

‘And we have to send them some sort of message.’

‘How about a party!’ All of Pinkies friends moan.

‘Hmm... Might be the wrong message.’

‘I’m thinking fireworks.’

‘What is it with physicists and explosions?’

‘The essence of physics is to throw something at something else and watch what comes off.’

‘Just like Mardi Gras.’ Lucas mumbles. He is instantly aware of six mares, including one still dying on the ground, glaring at him with all of the hate in the world.

‘Mr Wanderer, how expendable is your assistant?’

‘Miss Sparkle, how expendable is yours?’

The mares calm down their attack and return to planning the rescue.
…

After a short time, a plan is worked out. Rainbow Dash has recovered enough to join in the eating and planning. Also, the pile of burgers is virtually gone. Spike has taken over being passed out after his binge eating.

‘So... I guess that is it. Dash and Applejack help me with sabotage,’ The Doctor says.

‘While Twilight and Lucas help me with piloting,’ The Wandering Physicist says. ‘It will be tricky if we are to get the timing right.’

‘And the rest of us will prepare a super awesome victory-and-welcome-home-Derpy party for when you return!’ Pinkie cheers.

The Wandering Physicist and The Doctor do not say anything in order not to spoil the mood.

‘So, uh, who wants to finish off the last burger before we go?’ The Wandering Physicist offers.

Lucas starts reaching for it, but a fork gets embedded in his hoof before he can get it.

‘Oops. Sorry.’ Fluttershy apologizes. ‘Let me help you.’ She takes Lucas’ hoof to bandage it and casually slides the burger to herself. ‘Oh! Did anyone else want that?’

All of Fluttershy’s friends shake their heads and back away.

‘Are you sure Discord doesn’t run that place?’ Twilight whispers to The Wandering Physicist.

Rainbow Dash zooms through a very high-tech area. She tosses out many small boxes. She blasts past a thing that looks like a pepper pot as she enters a door that leads to an area that looks like a TARDIS. The doors close and disappear, leaving a very confused pepper pot thing.

In another high-tech area, The Doctor is working his sonic under a panel. A robotic-looking pony approaches.

‘Assimilate!’

‘Assimilate this!’ BUCK!

Applejack kicks the robotic pony’s head clean off. The Doctor slides out from under the panel.

‘That should do it.’ He notices the headless robot. ‘Did I miss something?’

On an alien planet, The Wandering Physicist, Twilight Sparkle and Lucas Grainsborough are fleeing from the pepper pot things. The pepper pots are firing lasers which the two mages are deflecting with magic shields.

‘Exterminate!’ the pepper pots shriek.

‘Boss! If we get back! I quit!’ Lucas yells.

‘I’ll take that under advisement,’ The Wandering Physicist laughs.

‘Mr Wanderer, all of the ponies in your species are CRAZY!’ Twilight shouts, getting more laughter in return.

A streak passes by and the pepper pots are blown out of the sky by a rainbow explosion. They fall to the ground, confused and shouting. The Doctor and Applejack leap in front of the group as an explosion sends a mass of robot ponies flying. Rainbow Dash loops back and lands by the group.

‘I knew I would find you if I tried hard enough. Didn’t I, Applejack?’ The Doctor brags.

‘Y’all got lost fer five minutes before Ah dragged ya this way.’

‘But I did find them.’

Applejack rolls her eyes.

‘Looks like everyone is here. Shall we, Doctor?’

‘Allons-y!’

The Doctor and The Wandering Physicist draw their sonics and wave them around at the gathering forces. The pepper pots and robotic ponies are seemingly driven back while the normal ponies group together. The Doctor and The Wandering Physicist gets items out of their packs and start building something that looks like a cabinet.

‘Uh, prof, do we have a plan?’ Rainbow Dash asks.

‘Not a one!’ The Doctor assures as he puts a pair of monitors in the cabinet.

‘Mr Wanderer, how about you?’ Twilight asks.

‘Wha?’ Thump! The Wandering Carpenter bangs his head on the cabinet as he finishes hooking up the monitor. ‘Son of a... OW!’

‘That’s it. I seriously quit.’ Lucas tries walking away, but a pepper pot’s laser weapon takes aim. ‘Never mind.’

‘Monitors?’ The Wandering Physicist asks, rubbing a sore spot on his head.

‘Check. Incentive?’ The Doctor asks.

‘Booyaka!’ The Wandering Physicist responds while holding up his mobile.

Lucas facehoofs. ‘You made an app for this situation?’

‘Open platform and you can load your app to your device with no need for permissions.’ The Wandering Physicist raises a hoof to the air. ‘Take that, Apple!’

‘Excuse me?’ Applejack questions.

The Doctor turns on the monitors. A large, white version of the pepper pot things appears on one. A robot pony with a black casing on its head with a brain exposed appears on the other monitor. The two creatures are confused and start shouting at each other. A loud whistle cuts through the noise.

‘Excuse me?’ The Doctor begins. ‘Mind if I cut in?’

The creatures on screen scan what they are seeing.

‘You are The Doctor!’ The white pepper pot shouts.

‘Yes. And you are the Supreme Dalek. Nice to see you on the front lines for once.’ The Doctor turns to the other monitor. ‘And you are the Cyber Controller. Good to see everyone here. Now, we have a very important matter to discuss. I came by here earlier and was very rudely attacked. By both parties! That was just rude.’

‘This mindless chatter is irrelevant.’ The Cyber Controller states.

‘It is not “irrelevant”!’ The Doctor shouts. ‘You see, in your completely senseless attack, I lost track of my companion. We need you to help find her or we will be very cross. If we get cross, bad things will happen. Now, have you seen a grey pegasus in the past... How long?’

The Wandering Physicist checks his mobile. ‘According to my TARDIS, about ten hours since you left.’

‘Really? Only ten? Impressive.’

‘Type 90... with some customization, but that goes without saying.’

‘Right.’ The Doctor turns back to the monitors. ‘So, past ten hours. Where is my friend? Oh! and if you say she has been assimilated or exterminated... well... Wanderer.’

The Wandering Physicist presses a button on his mobile. Two huge explosions light up the sky.

‘Those were your fourth fleets. I have five more for the Daleks and eight more for the Cyberponies. Think hard,’ The Wandering Physicist threatens.

‘We have no record of a grey pegasus,’ the Supreme Dalek states.

‘Our databases concur.’

‘Wrong answer. Wanderer.’

Two more explosions light up more of the sky.

‘Wait! One of our Cyber Leaders recorded visual record of a grey pegasus flying towards the Dalek lines around the timestamp in question. We have no records after that.’

‘Wrong! Wrong!’ the Supreme Dalek shouts. ‘The one in question left the battlefield! No Dalek has claimed the honor of exterminating a grey pegasus this day!’

The Daleks and Cyberponies resume arguing among themselves. The Doctor starts getting more and more annoyed.

‘Silence!’ The Doctor snaps. ‘I don’t care which of you saw her last I want to know where she is now! I don’t care if I have to tear you apart bolt by bolt and extract the information manually. I want to find my friend.’

The Dalek and Cyberpony stop and scan The Doctor some more.

‘That is an idle threat,’ the Dalek Emperor states. ‘The Doctor would never endanger his companions. We would exterminate all of your companions before you could even harm us critically.’

The Doctor seethes. He is about to speak when The Wandering Physicist pushes forward.

‘Hi. I don’t think you know me. I am The Wandering Physicist. Fellow Time Lord. Don’t bother searching your histories for me. I barely made an impact with most of the things I have done.’ Pause. ‘Now, I know you have a history with The Doctor. You can push each others’ buttons with ease. As I can yours.’ He waves his mobile in front of the screen. ‘Now, I know about you, but you don’t know about me. Since we don’t have a history, you don’t know that I am a generally honest person. Sure, I may bend the truth on occasion, but I never flat-out lie. Never. So know this: you will find my friend or the hundreds of thousands of Daleks and Cybers here today will just be the start. Got it?’ There is no response. He glances over his shoulder. ‘Prepare to duck.’ He turns back. ‘GOT IT!’

A button is pressed and more explosions occur. The explosions are close enough so that debris starts raining in the area. A few Daleks and Cyberponies are taken out by the debris. On the monitors, the Supreme Dalek and Cyber Controller actually seem to display worry despite their expressionless features.

‘A grey pegasus was spotted southwest of your current location two of your hours ago,’ a Dalek blurts from behind the leader.

The Supreme Dalek quickly turns and exterminates the subordinate. It quickly turns back. ‘We, we had just found that out. I-I-I was about to report.’

The Enraged Physicist’s glare causes the Supreme Dalek to back away. ‘And where is she now?’

‘We, we, do not know! We are not deceiving you!’

The Furious Physicist glances over at the Cyber Controller. ‘And you?’

‘Our databases show no data! No data!’

Another section of sky lights up behind The Deadly Physicist. ‘Listen! I don’t care what you have to do! You can make peace across the universe and combine all of your sensor information for all I care! YOU! WILL! FIND! MY! FRIEND!’

The Supreme Dalek and Cyber Controller process the threat. A hoof hovers dangerously close to a mobile for their liking.

‘Cyber patrols have detected a grey pegasus approaching from near the Dalek encampment. Five hundred meters and closing.’

‘All Daleks have been informed not to exterminate and are leaving the area.’

‘All Cyber Legions are evacuating.’

The Daleks in the area back off and fly into space. The Cyberponies all put a hoof in front of their chests, and they are transmatted back to their ships.

‘We have made peace and are leaving the area,’ the Cyber Controller states.

‘We have fulfilled our part of the bargain,’ the Supreme Dalek adds. ‘Now fulfill your promise.’

‘I promised nothing except your destruction,’ The Murderous Physicist growls.

The two screens go blank as all of the ships start leaving orbit. The Frightening Physicist sits on the ground and sighs. He drops his mobile next to him. All his friends behind him are too scared to approach. Twilight finally gets up the nerve to step forward, when she is interrupted by a small figure flying up. Derpy is slowly making her way towards the remaining beings on the planet. Rainbow Dash quickly intercepts her friend and helps her down. Derpy is covered in cuts and burns and her left foreleg looks broken.

‘Hey, Doctor. I am back.’

The Doctor rushes over to the wounded Derpy and gives her a big hug. ‘Don’t worry, Derpy. I have you.’

The Drained Physicist gets up and starts walking away. ‘Great to have you back, D-Squared. If anypony needs me, I’ll be in the TARDIS when you are ready to leave.’

The Tired Physicist starts wandering back to his TARDIS.

‘What is wrong with Chief?’ Derpy asks.

‘He’s just had a long day. We all have. Come on. Let’s go home.’

The Doctor and Rainbow Dash carry Derpy back to the TARDIS as the group leaves. Twilight stops for a moment then goes back to pick up The Wandering Physicist’s mobile before rejoining the group.

The next few days are busy. After returning to Ponyville, The Depressed Physicist seals himself in the living area above his store. Pinkie throws a massive party to celebrate the return of Derpy, but she is deflated when she hears about The Depressed Physicist’s mood. Lucas continues to run the store in the absence of his boss. All of his friends try to talk to him, but The Depressed Physicist does not even answer his door when they come around. Even Twilight’s and Luna’s most powerful spells cannot penetrate the barrier he seals himself behind. After a week, Twilight is really distraught about her friend’s situation. The Depressed Physicist’s mobile has become a common accessory wherever she goes.

Twilight is at The Power Block talking with Lucas. She looks as if she has not slept much recently.

‘How can you let him stay up there! You’re his friend! We should be trying to help him!’

‘I know you are supposed to be the one studying friendship, but I also heard about the Smarty Pants incident.’

Twilight teleports herself onto the counter so she can stare down at Lucas. ‘That has nothing to do with this!’ She teleports herself down. ‘I just want to help my friend. That is all.’

‘Princess Sparkle, I appreciate your concern, but Boss... He is an odd one, as you know. If he needs some time to himself, he needs time to himself. It is best to let him be.’

‘Best?! BEST!? How do you know that is best? Did you ask him!?’

‘You are scaring my customers. Leave now or I will be forced to contact law enforcement, princess.’

Twilight comes very close to bursting into flames before she storms out of the shop. She takes a couple moments to shout a few disgruntled groans as she exits. Lucas moans and goes back to work.

On the opposite side of the town, The Doctor is working on his TARDIS. He is currently working under the flooring. Above him, Twilight is pacing.

‘ “Best to let him be”? “Best to let him be”? What sort of friend is that? How can he say such a thing? It makes me want to scream!’ Twilight screams loud enough to set off the cloister bell as well as scare away all of the animals around Fluttershy’s cottage and cause some apples to fall at Sweet Apple Acres.

‘Are you quite finished? I’d like to have my hearing last at least another nine hundred years before it gets wonky.’ The Doctor looks up to see a face of pure rage, something he had not seen in a week, staring down at him. ‘On the other hoof, I am free to talk.’ He lifts himself on to the main deck. ‘So what do you want to talk about?’ Twilight’s developing eye twitch is enough of an answer. ‘Ah. Right. What do you want to know about him?’

‘How can he be like this! Just locking himself away like this! It is so frustrating!’

‘He has been like this for as long as I can remember. Ever since we were in the academy together.’

‘Wait. I thought you were his elder?’

‘I travel a lot more than he does. I’ve experienced more time, but we were mates at the academy. Anyway. He was far from as popular as he seems to be these days. A lot fewer mates, and I doubt anyone as close as he is with you, Selene and Lucas.’

Twilight is shocked. ‘That long without friends?’

The Doctor shakes his head. ‘That long without close friends. The constant torment by The Master didn’t help much either. A few of us that tried to help, myself and Romana to name only two of barely more, but he always seemed to be more happy when he was by himself. It was like he was looking for the right person to share himself with but was too shy and thus unable to make the connection. He seemed very alone despite the constant smile on his face... No close friends... That is something that fills me with dread.’

‘I can’t imagine my life without friends since I came to Ponyville.’

‘I doubt any of us can.’ Twilight looks confused. ‘See, there are points in space and time that are beacons. They can be beacons for good or evil, for tangible or intangible things, for ideas, inventions, emotions and much more. Ponyville is a beacon of friendship. All who are drawn here come because they are, at some level, looking for friendship. Take Trixie, for example.’

‘But she was just a boastful showmare! She didn’t want anything more than to get attention and make other ponies look foalish.’

‘She wanted to find a place where ponies would be impressed with her magic and be drawn in to her. After her show, did anypony even bother asking her why she was here? Or at least anypony you know? She would have had to have gone through some level of red tape and paperwork to set up her stage and cart in the town.’

‘Well, no, nopony I know talked with her outside of the show... But she interacted with Snips and Snails a lot!’

‘They were just drawn in by her flashiness. How can we say anything different about Rarity’s fashion shows? You befriended her despite her attention-hogging personality. And what about her return? Yes, she was seeking revenge, but she left seeking redemption. She left with a renewed feeling of friendship.’

‘You have a point...’

‘Right. We all came here looking for friendship on some level. Never forget that. Never let that fact out of your mind. As long as you have that in mind, you will always do what is right.’

Twilight ponders what The Doctor has said. She quickly charges a spell and teleports away. Seconds later, she comes walking out of one of the back rooms soaking wet.

‘Looks like you found one of the pools. By the way, I wouldn’t recommend trying to teleport in here.’

‘Thanks for the warning!’

Twilight leaves the TARDIS and teleports again.

Twilight materializes back at The Power Block. She is right outside the entrance to the second floor living area.

‘Hey! I thought I told you to leave!’ Lucas snaps from his vantage point. A look that would have sent Nightmare Moon back to the moon for another thousand years while permanently freezing Discord in stone causes Lucas to completely drop the subject forever.

Twilight goes up to the door and knocks as loudly as she dares. ‘Mr Wanderer... It is me again. I am sorry I haven’t been back since a couple days ago, but this time I am staying. I am not going to leave until you come out again. No matter what you do, I will wait right here.’

Twilight sits down and leans against the door. She gets out The Missing Physicist’s mobile and clutches it to her chest. She tries using her magic to get a clue to the barrier, but all of her spells fail. She sighs and waits. After what feels like forever but is really only a couple minutes, she hears a sonic screwdriver activate and the door unlocks. Twilight is instantly up and through the door. The door reseals itself after she is through.

The apartment is dark despite it being the middle of the afternoon. Twilight looks around desperately. Nothing looks as if it has even been thought about in the past week. Twilight eventually sees a small crack in the bedroom door.

‘Mr Wanderer?’

She spots him on his bed, facing away from the door. She cannot tell if he is alive since she see no movement, not even breathing. She steels herself and dares to climb up next to him.

‘I am sorry if I am intruding, but I will not leave your side.’

Getting no response, she lays away from him and sighs. Suddenly, a foreleg goes around her midsection.Twilight is shocked. She is even more shocked when another foreleg goes under her and the two lock her in a tight grip. The feeling of a muzzle strikes between her wings. Twilight sighs contently and pats the hooves that are around her.

Another shock hits Twilight. It is slightly noticeable at first, but then it becomes clear. She can hear The Crying Physicist bawling his eyes out. Twilight tries to resist, crying too, but she gives in and starts crying too.

The pair cry together for hours. Eventually, The Silent Physicist stops, but the silence between him and Twilight continues. The silent laying eventually turns into sleeping. Twilight quickly loses track of time. When she reawakens, she is certain it is the next day. She shifts a little, and The Wandering Physicist does not seem to react. Suddenly, she is squeezed again.

‘Confound you ponies.’

‘Huh?’

‘You know how to ruin a perfectly good bad mood.’

Twilight nervously laughs a little. ‘We are good at that, I guess.’

The Wandering Physicist moans and buries his face into Twilight’s back. ‘I hate it. I hate it so much. Why does it have to be this way?’

‘What does? What is wrong?’

‘Just... Nothing. Thank you for being here.’

The Wandering Physicist eases back a bit. The heavy silence returns. Twilight takes a deep breath and bites her lip.

‘I... I went to ask The Doctor about you.’

‘Ugh. And what did ol’ Theta Sigma have to say?’

‘Who?’

‘Just a nickname from the academy. Go on.’

‘Right. He talked about your academy years.... Lots of really sad and lonely stuff. Sounded very familiar...’

‘I am sorry I worried you. It is all fine. You get used to it after a while...’

‘But you shouldn’t be used to it! It is not right! You should have lots of friends. You need a, uh, mate!’

‘I need to what?!?’

‘A mate! A!’ Twilight groans. ‘Stallions...’

‘It is not just that, Twilight. You saw how I was. All of that needless anger and hate. Just too much anger...’

‘We all get mad sometimes.’

‘I threatened two races with genocide and meant it! That is not just mad.... That is....’ The Wandering Physicist starts trying to hold back tears again. ‘Having that inside you is so tough. We try and control it, but....’ Pause. ‘There is no surprise when you leave us in the end. It is always our fault.’ Tears start to flow. ‘I drive them away, and it is all my fault!’

‘Wanderer... I will never leave you... You have a lot to learn about friendship...’

The Wandering Physicist moans. He thinks for a moment. ‘Well... I don’t really feel like going anywhere right now. Now, if only I had a good teacher...’

Twilight laughs. ‘Hmm... Well, the first lesson is to never be afraid to share your true feelings with a good friend. Hint. Hint.’

‘Yeah. Yeah.’ The Wandering Physicist stomach growls. ‘I think one of my true feelings just shared itself...’

The two friends start laughing.

Author's Note

Fun fact: 40 m/s ~= 88 mph.

TWP Timeline: First time he slept in a mare's bed. First time he sleeps in Twilight's bed and the first time she sleeps in his. *winkwinknudgenudgesaynomore*

Story Event: This is the first and one of the few to dive into TWP's past. I am intentionally not covering his backstory since it would be a lot of depression and loneliness (which is basically what all of the stories about his mental state are about). I tend to draw his personality and certain events in his life from my own experiences. I try not to make them too personal, but some stuff slips through. That is why I highly appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my stories. Thank you.

Post Twilight Time Edit:
That garden burgers and planning scene. Then over two years later...

Crossroads

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie, Lucas, Tsukiyo Rei/Princess Fullmoon
Cameos: Spike, Sweetie Belle, Coal, Queen Luna
Original Write Date: October 23, 2011

A massive thunderstorm rages over Ponyville. A scheduled rain from the Equestrian weather teams is mixing with a storm that blew in from the Everfree Forest. To protect the town, the electricity has been turned off while the weather teams fix the weather. Except for one building. A certain two-story shop has the entire second floor lit up. Despite being a lightning rod, the building seems to have a shield of some sort that deflects the lightning harmlessly back into the clouds.

Inside the building, a small party is going on. The Wandering Physicist has gathered a number of his friends together to beat the storm. Thanks to Pinkie Pie, his meager supply of mostly nerdy snacks has been supplemented with many delicious treats. Pinkie’s pet alligator Gummy is sitting on the table in the middle of the treats. Rarity has set up shop in an empty corner so she can finish some work started before the storm hit. Her sister is currently playing games with The Hosting Physicist, Spike and Lucas. The last guest, Twilight Sparkle, reads a book while her pet owl watches over the room.

‘Thank you again, Mr Wanderer. I have no idea how I would have finished this order in time if you hadn’t come along.’ Rarity says while magically manipulating several objects and using her sewing machine all at once.

‘It is my pleasure. It would have been boring not having somepony to play with during the storm,’ The Wandering Physicist replies.

‘Yeah... It is hard finding someone to play with sometimes...’ Sweetie Belle grumbles.

Rarity starts going through her supplies. ‘Oh Sweetie Belle, you see your friends all the time. Just this morning you three...’ Rarity stops. ‘I can’t find the imported silk from Draconia! Of all of the worst things to happen! This! Is! The!’

‘I think I have some in the TARDIS. Follow me.’ The Wandering Physicist interrupts.

The stallion steps out of the game. He leads Rarity to a random closet and leads them in.

‘I have more cookies if you want them!’ Pinkie says as she brings out a large tray of cookies.

‘We’re going to have enough leftovers to open up a baked goods section once the storm is over,’ Lucas says. He takes an offered cookie. ‘At least leftover cookies are better than the CDi.’

The Wandering Physicist pops his head out of the TARDIS. ‘Probably would play better on a CDi than most of the games, too.’

‘He does have a point.’ Twilight adds.

‘Which one?’ Spike asks.

‘Both.’ Twilight turns to Pinkie Pie. ‘I think you can go easy on the cooking now.’

‘Aw! But we only have three cakes and a couple hundred cookies. What if more ponies show up?’

Twilight looks around the room. ‘I am pretty sure that this is everyone Mr Wanderer knows.’

‘But what if somepony he doesn’t know shows up! What a whole bunch of someponies show up!’ Pinkie stands on her hind legs and waves her forelegs in the air. Twilight just stares at her friend. Pinkie settles down. ‘You haven’t thrown many parties, have you?’

‘I remember trying once...’

‘Well, you just need more practice. Good thing Auntie Pinkie Pie is here to help.’

Pinkie tries patting Twilight on the head, but she slams her hoof down on Twilight’s horn. Both scream in pain.

‘You okay?’ Lucas asks. ‘First aid is in the bathroom.’

‘I know where it is.’ Twilight says while rubbing her sore horn.

‘I bet you do,’ Lucas mumbles to himself.

Twilight shoots a quick glare at Lucas. She uses a spell to levitate a bandage out of the bathroom. ‘Pinkie?’

Pinkie holds up her hoof and Twilight wraps it to stop the bleeding. The Wandering Physicist and Rarity come out of the TARDIS. The unicorn levitates a roll of fabric with her magic.

‘Well, it is not Draconian silk, but it will have to do.’

‘That fabric comes from sentient spiders that spend decades cultivating their silk to be even a fraction of the quality of that small roll.’

‘Hmm... Well, I guess it will do,’ Rarity comments as she gets back to work.

The Wandering Physicist looks around the room. ‘I know this is weird coming from me, but I can get used to this.’

Suddenly, there is a loud thump against one of the walls. Everypony, and Spike, stop what they are doing and look around.

‘Was that a lightning strike?’ Lucas asks.

‘No way. Even if we were hit, the shields would have absorbed it,’ The Confused Physicist answers.

‘Could it be one of the weather team?’ Sweetie Belle asks from hiding under the couch.

‘Can’t be. They wouldn’t be in this area of town,’ Twilight answers.

‘HIC! Then what the - HIC! - was it?’ Pinkie giggles then hiccups at her clever way of wording the question.

The Investigating Physicist opens a window. ‘Came from out here.’

The Curious Physicist looks around as much as he can without letting in too much rain. The shield around the shop deflects another bolt of lightning. He looks down and sees something white moving. It stops near the back door. He pulls his head in and closes the window.

‘Twilight, get the med kit. Lucas, you’re with me. The rest of you, clear off the couch. We have incoming.’

The two males head downstairs. Twilight gets the med kit from the bathroom. She runs right into Pinkie as she returns.

‘HIC!’

‘Ack!’

‘Told you somepony - HIC! - would come!’

‘Pinkie, this isn’t the time. Somepony could be really hurt out there.’ Twilight turns to Spike. ‘Get some towels from the hall closet. They are going to be pretty soaked when they return.’

Spike salutes and gets the towels. He and Rarity lay them out on the couch and keep several spares off to the side. The Wandering Physicist and Lucas return carrying a small, white pegasus with a short, light blue mane and a cutie mark of a full moon on a dark field. They carry her to the couch and lay her down. Rarity lays a towel over the pegasus. Spike hands a towel to the two stallions, but only Lucas takes one. The Wandering Physicist goes right to the pegasus. Twilight levitates a towel over the him without him noticing it. The Wandering Medic places a hoof on the pegasus’ forehead.

‘She is fine. Just knocked herself for a loop,’ The Concerned Physicist says. He starts going through the med kit to find something.

‘How does he know that?’ Sweetie Belle asks her sister.

‘He’s, well, let’s see... He’s really smart, I guess you could say,’ Rarity answers.

The Wandering Physicist gets a small device out of the med kit and attaches it to the pegasus’ head. It lights up blue for a couple seconds then turns green. He takes the device off and returns it to the kit. The pegasus moans and puts a hoof to her head. When she opens her eyes, she blushes at the face very close to hers.

‘Otoosan?’ the pegasus whispers. She looks around at all of the strange faces looking at her.

‘Hi! HIC!’ Pinkie greets.

The pegasus cocks her head to the side. ‘Nani? Doko?’

‘What did she say?’ Sweetie Belle asks.

‘Shh!’ The Wandering Physicist hisses. He looks at the pegasus. ‘Ponyville desu. Genki desu ka?’

‘I-iye.’ She rubs her head. ‘Atama itai. Ponyville ka?’

‘Come on. What is she saying?’ Sweetie Belle pleads.

‘Sounds like Neighponese.’ Twilight responds. ‘Spike, did we remember to bring my Simple Neighponese to Equestrian Translation Guide like we always do?’

‘Wait. You were serious about that?’

‘Spiiiike!’

‘Hmph. This calls for a lady’s touch.’ Rarity goes over to the pegasus. ‘Excuse me miss, by any chance do you happen to speak Equestrian Common Tongue? It would be ever so convenient if we are to assist you.’

‘What are you saying?’ The pegasus says.

‘See,’ Rarity gloats. ‘Sometimes all you have to do is ask.’

‘Huh? How can I understand you? I never learned Common. Wait! Can you understand me?’

‘It is okay,’ The Wandering Linguist reassures. ‘We have a way of understanding other languages psychically. It just takes a few moments to kick in unless you have travelled with us a bit.’

‘So, wait. Why didn’t I understand right away? I travelled with you,’ Twilight protests.

The Wandering Casanova looks at Twilight, adjusts his glasses, looks away and coughs. ‘Jealousy.’

‘What!’ Twilight glares at the TARDIS. ‘Why you little...’

‘Twilight, it is not little. It is huge!’ Pinkie says, waving her forelegs in the air.

Twilight glares her friend down.

The Wandering Physicist sighs and turns back to the pegasus. ‘Are you sure you are okay? The storm outside is a pretty bad one.’

‘Storm? What storm? It was a clear day last time I checked.’

‘Hmm. Can you tell me what you remember before you awoke here?’

‘I was flying through Shibuya, heading to the capital on royal business. There was a shimmering wall, but I thought nothing of it. After passing through it, I apparently found your wall. When I awoke, you were all staring at me.’

‘What does “Shibuya” mean?’ Sweetie Belle asks. ‘Is it like...’

‘Don’t say it!’ The Wandering Physicist and Rarity shout at the young filly. They look at each other, then away in embarrassment.

‘Wait. If you were on royal business, I can contact the princess, and we’ll be able to help you better.’ Twilight says. ‘Spike! Take a letter.’

‘What? Princess? She’s too young. Don’t you mean the queen?’ The pegasus ponders.

Twilight freezes. ‘Queen? What queen?’

‘You don’t know the queen, but you live in Equestria proper? I thought you would know Queen Luna very well.’

‘Queen Luna!’ everypony stammers. The pegasus looks confused.

‘Interesting...’ The Thinking Physicist puts a hoof to his face as he thinks. ‘Pretend we are completely daft and tell us why there is a Queen Luna as if we are children. ... as if we all are children.’

The pegasus sits up. She looks around at the group. Except for The Wandering Physicist, they all look confused, shocked or upset at what she has been saying.

‘Well, it all goes back to over a thousand years ago. Princesses Luna and Celestia were battling the villainous Discord.’

‘Ooo! I remember him!’ Pinkie interrupts.

‘In the battle, Discord mortally wounded Celestia. With her last bit of strength, she and Luna defeated Discord once and for all. Celestia died soon afterwards.’ Twilight faints. ‘Since that day, Queen Luna has ruled over the New Lunar Republic as a fair and kind ruler.’

‘Princess Celestia...’ Twilight moans from the floor.

‘It seems we have a dimensional traveler on our hooves...’ The Wandering Physicist says to himself. He looks back at the pegasus. ‘You see, in our history, Luna and Celestia used the Elements of Harmony to seal Discord in stone for over a thousand years. He was recently reformed him by the current Elements, three of whom are here now, one being Princess Twilight Sparkle. Princesses Celestia and Luna are co-rulers of Equestria.’

The pegasus scans the room. Her eyes go wide when she sees Twilight, but she looks away quickly enough for it to go unnoticed. ‘Three Elements? I only see one here.’ She points to Pinkie. ‘The Element of Laughter who greeted me when I awoke.’

‘I’m famous in both worlds! Cool!’ Pinkie squeals.

‘Seems the Elements have different masters where she is from.’ The Wandering Physicist notes.

‘All of this talk of other Equestrias is nice and all, but we are missing the key question: who is your Element of Generosity?’ Rarity inquires.’

‘Oh, Prince Blueblood, of course.’

‘What!’ Rarity snaps. ‘That unrefined piece of donkey manure!’

‘I would ask you not to talk about the prince in such a manner. He is a tireless helper of the poor and downtrodden. Just last month, I worked side by side with him on relief efforts for a recent tsunami that hit a nearby region.’

‘Excuse me for a moment,’ Rarity says while stepping towards the exit. ‘I am afraid I must do something unladylike.’

Everypony watches Rarity leave. After a short silence, the loudest expletive anypony has ever heard rings out all over Ponyville. Rarity returns huffing and red-cheeked. She magics a towel off the pile and starts drying herself off.

‘There. I am feeling better.’

‘Ooo! Ooo! Miss pegasus! Call on me next!’ Pinkie shouts, waving her hoof in the air.

‘Very well...’

‘Okay. If I am still my Element and Rarity’s prince...’

‘That-that-that...’ Rarity covers Sweetie Belle’s ears. ‘That flankhole is not my prince!’

Pinkie frowns at Rarity a little. ‘Anyway... Since Twilight is a little fainty right now, who is the Element of Magic?’

‘Her?’ The pegasus thinks. ‘She is the most popular pony in the whole Republic.’

‘Really?’ Twilight leans up a bit.

‘Yes. She is graceful and elegant. She has a million friends. She is the master of countless magics and is the queen’s personal apprentice.’

‘Go on.’ Twilight gets up and beams.

‘You are right to be excited. The Great and Powerful Trixie is the greatest magician to have ever lived.’

Twilight’s face goes from excitement to confusion to anger to blind fury. Having seen this reaction once before, Pinkie quickly runs to the window and throws it open.

‘Quick! Out here!’

The Wandering Physicist looks at Lucas and the pair quickly lift Twilight and get her out the window. Lucas uses his magic to keep her from falling. Twilight bursts into fire for a brief moment then lets it go in a very exasperated sigh. She comes back in and Spike quickly brings her a towel.

‘What is the use?’ Twilight sighs while drying off. ‘At least she isn’t the Element of Magic in our world.’

‘I assume that is you?’ The pegasus asks.

‘Big crown thingy and everything,’ Twilight sighs.

‘Oh my. I am honored to have met you all.’ The pegasus looks around again. ‘I assume one of the stallions is the other element, given the white unicorn’s outburst earlier.’

The two stallions have to restrain Rarity from getting at the pegasus. They carry her into the TARDIS and return without her a moment later.

‘She is having a bit of a time out.’ The Wandering Physicist says before anypony can ask. The TARDIS doors burst open. ‘Or not.’

Rarity storms out. She heads right to the pegasus. ‘I will have you know, I am our Element of Generosity, and I am showing it off by not dragging your flank outside to teach you a lesson.’

The pegasus glares at Rarity before turning her attention back to The Wandering Physicist. ‘As fun as it is to discuss alternate realities, I would really like to return to mine. I have important business to do. If you will return my pack and point me toward the rift or whatever that will send me home.’

‘We have a couple problems there...’ The Wandering Physicist starts. ‘First, you did not have a pack when we found you. Second, I have no clue how to send you back.’

‘What! I need my pack! I desperately need it!’ The pegasus grabs The Wandering Physicist and starts shaking him.

‘We’ll get right on it,’ The Wandering Physicist reassures the pegasus. ‘But first, let’s get us calmed down. I think there are some high emotions right now, and we should rest and wait for the storm to ease. I promise we will find your pack.’

The pegasus wraps around The Wandering Physicist’s neck in a hug. ‘Thank you so much. You are so wonderful.’ She realizes she is hugging a complete stranger. ‘Oh sorry. I shouldn’t be so familiar.’

‘No problem. Happens all of the time.’

Twilight nod and glares. ‘It does.’

‘Whee!’ Pinkie tackles The Wandering Physicist in a random hug.

Twilight sighs and goes over to the pegasus. ‘Sorry for being rude earlier. I am Twilight Sparkle, by the way.’ She extends a hoof.

The pegasus tenses up at the introduction. She looks at the hoof then at Twilight and bows. ‘It is a pleasure to meet you, Twilight Sparkle. I am Tsukiyo Rei, royal regent to Neighpon.’

Twilight does not know what to do. She retracts her hoof and bows slightly too. ‘Uh, nice to meet you Tsukiyo.’ Twilight starts motioning around the room. ‘These are my friends Spike,’

‘Hello!’ Spike waves.

‘Rarity and her sister Sweetie Belle,’

Rarity just turns her nose up.

‘Nice to meet you.’ Sweetie Belle says.

‘You seem to know Pinkie...’

Pinkie smiles and waves.

‘Lucas Grainsborough,’

Lucas bows. ‘Tsukiyo-san.’

‘and last is The Wandering Physicist.’ He bows.

Rei looks at The Bowing Physicist. ‘You don’t know why they call you that, do you?’

‘Nope.’

‘You don’t know why you call yourself that too, right?’

‘Right.’

‘Neat! Thank you all for the hospitality. I apologize for intruding.’

‘Think nothing of it.’ The Wandering Host replies. ‘But for now, you should have one of Pinkie’s delicious cookies and rest a bit.’

‘Arigato.’

Pinkie brings over the tray of cookies and everypony takes one.

The storm has subsided. There are no more lightning strikes. Three groups of ponies leave The Power Block as Spike and Sweetie Belle watch them go. Rarity had ‘generously’ volunteered to watch the shop, but a quick zinger from Rei convinced her otherwise. After a quick look around the second floor windows, the groups head different directions.

Twilight searches the ground around a back alley while Rei frantically searches rooftops for her missing pack.

‘Rei, sorry about getting your name wrong earlier.’

‘No big,’ Rei says, darting from building to building.

‘Do you mind if I ask more questions about where you are from?’

‘Go ahead. I’ll answer as best I can as long as that psychic thingy keeps working.’

‘Well, I have to know, what did you mean by “New Lunar Republic” earlier?’

‘That is the name of our nation. Uh... How do I explain it...’ Rei thinks. ‘What you likely call the Kingdom of Equestria, we would call the New Lunar Republic. Queen Luna reorganized the nation as a republican form of government after she put down a rebellion in our past. She has always been a champion for the rights and freedoms of all ponies. Not to mention she and the king are such a lovely couple!’

‘Interesting...’ Twilight starts thinking of more questions to ask.

Not too far from the shop, The Wandering Physicist is scanning the air with his sonic while Pinkie is digging around for the missing pack. Pinkie’s mane has washed out to become completely flat.

‘Hmm... These readings are... odd.’

‘Readings? I don’t see a book.’

‘What? Nothing. Just looking for the pack.’

‘Well, the pack wouldn’t be in the sky, silly. Although she is a pegasus... Hmm...’

The Wandering Physicist scans the sky again. He quickly checks the readings.

‘Pinkie, what do you think this means?’

‘Hmm... If I could see what you were looking at, I would say...’ Pinkie thinks hard. ‘I’d say they make no sense!’

‘Exactly!’ The Wandering Physicist starts walking away. ‘Come along, Pie. We have some shopping to do.’

Rarity and Lucas are searching around the main streets near the shop. They are using their magic to try to detect the missing pack. Rarity is wearing her slicker and boots and has two umbrellas just in case.

‘Miss Rarity, what do you think of Rei?’

‘I am trying not to,’ Rarity sneers.

‘You don’t think she is alluring? Mysterious? ... Pretty?’

‘My, my,’ Rarity laughs. ‘Sounds like our little Lucas has gotten himself a little crush.’

Lucas blushes. ‘What? Well, maybe. Sure. ... And I am almost as old as you are!’

Rarity laughs. ‘It is all fine. I won’t tell anyone.’

‘Like you did for Twilight before we saved Derpy.’

Rarity’s eyes dart. ‘That was the burgers talking. They had an evil grip on my mind.’

‘Boss says that they might be putting in a store here in Ponyville.’

Rarity picks Lucas up and holds him against a wall. ‘What! When is this happening! I must have more of their burgers! I demand a Double Double animal style!’

Lucas starts looking for an escape from the crazed mare pinning him to the wall. ‘Um, er... Hey! Isn’t that the pack?’

Lucas points in a random direction. Rarity looks. He just happens to point at a small pack with a chrysanthemum emblem embroidered on it. The pack is hanging from a roof.

‘Oh. There it is.’ Rarity starts levitating the pack down.

‘I’ll signal the others.’ Lucas casts a spell that causes a burst of light to trail to him and Rarity.

There is a crash of thunder and Rarity’s spell breaks, spilling the pack all over the ground. The two unicorns quickly start using their magic to refill the pack. Most of the objects are usual items like a money pouch and makeup. There is a small ledger with Luna’s crest on it. What gets the attention of the two unicorns is a sealed, gold locket. It has another crest on it.

‘Is that crest what I think it is?’ Rarity asks.

‘As a certified Neighponophile, I am pretty certain it is,’ Lucas answers.

‘Here they are!’ Twilight calls toward the sky.

Rarity returns the locket to the pack as Rei swoops down. She quickly takes the pack and searches through it. She gets a huge smile then immediately hugs Rarity and Lucas together.

‘Thank you so much! I love you both a lot right now! I can never repay you!’

‘Heh, heh. All in the day’s work.’ Rarity says, trying to break free.

‘So happy...’ Lucas sighs.

‘Come on. Let’s get back to the shop and dry off. We’ll meet up with Mr Wanderer and Pinkie there,’ Twilight suggests.

‘That sounds like a great idea,’ Rarity agrees, breaking free. ‘A nice warm shower would be great now.’

Rei lets go of Lucas and heads back to the shop with Twilight and Rarity. Lucas just sits in the street smiling. A sharp whistle snaps him out of the spell.

‘Lover boy! Get back here!’ Rarity snaps. She realizes what she just said. ‘Oops. Sorry.’

The Wandering Physicist and Pinkie approach one of the closed shops. A small light is seen within. Getting closer, the light is revealed to be Coal Tale holding a flashlight in his mouth as he reads. The Wandering Physicist knocks on the door. Coal sets down his book and light and lets the pair in.

‘Thanks, Coal.’

‘What are you doing out in this storm?’

‘I need to find a book. You’re the only one who would have it in stock.’

‘Have you thought about asking your librarian friend?’

‘Indy published book by Dr John Smith.’

Coal sighs and nods towards the back of the shop. He goes back to his book while The Wandering Physicist heads off to look. Pinkie gives Coal an odd look.

‘You know, you are an unicorn.’

Coal sets down the light. ‘Bad things happen to objects I use my magic on. Thus, I only use it on my brother.’

‘Where is he? He is usually so wacky!’

Coal groans. ‘He is hiding under his bed. He is a little afraid of storms. Fortunately, we’ll have plenty of fresh water to clean any of his “little messes”.’

Pinkie looks even more confused. Suddenly, her mane poofs back to normal, spraying water everywhere.

Coal wipes water from his face. ‘Thank you. I am sure my books really enjoyed getting a shower.’

‘That is good! They look a little dusty.’

Coal thinks about using a spell on Pinkie, but The Reading Physicist returns from the back carrying a book.

‘Thanks mate.’ The Wandering Physicist tosses some bits on the table and starts leaving.

‘Guess I’ll catch you aroundy!’ Pinkie bounces after her friend.

Coal just groans, locks the door and goes back to reading.

Back at the shop, all of the ponies are celebrating the return of Rei’s pack. She is extremely happy to have her belongings back. The Wandering Physicist is off to one side reading the book he bought. Rarity has been in the shower since she returned. Rei has her ledger out and is going through it.

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘I hate to dampen the good feelings, but I don’t think there is a way to get you back to your world, Rei.’

Rei moans a little. ‘I figured as much. Fortunately, Queen Luna issued orders in case something like this occurs.’

‘That sounds like something very odd to plan for,’ Twilight comments, ‘but I have to appreciate her thoroughness.’

Spike moans from where he sits.

‘Ah! Here we go.’ Rei gets a disk out of her ledger. ‘This should have instructions for this situation. I don’t really know what they are since I could not play it when I tried.’

The Wandering Physicist takes the disk and scans it with his sonic. ‘Seems like the last few bits are intentionally corrupted. I can fix that.’

The Wandering Physicist starts cycling through sonic settings to repair the disk. Rarity comes out of the shower. She magically wraps a towel around her mane.

‘Well, it is not the spa, but it will do for now.’ She notices The Wandering Physicist working. ‘Ooo. What is going on here?’

The Wandering Physicist holds up the disk. ‘Movie time... I think.’

The disk is inserted into The Wandering Physicist’s PS3. An image appears on the screen showing the New Lunar Republic’s banner. It is replaced by an older-looking Luna.

‘If you are viewing this, then you have found The Doctor or The Wandering Physicist of this universe,’ the video Luna states. ‘They are your key to returning to our home. They should be able to acclimatize you to your new surroundings while they look for a solution. If no solution can be found, they can help you find a new place in this new world. If you are stuck in a new world, I implore you to find my counterpart or counterparts and give them as much information about where you are from and advise them on some of the policies we have implemented for a better tomorrow. Thank you and good luck in your journey.’

The disk stops playing and automatically ejects. Rei looks sad. The others are upset with the situation too. Twilight puts a foreleg around the pegasus.

‘Don’t worry. We’ll help you in every way possible. Who knows, we might even find a way to get you back home.’

‘Thank you, Twilight.’ Rei leans into her new friend for a moment then goes back to her bag and gets out the locket. She looks at it and sighs.

The others watch their new friend and wonder what she is doing. Rarity goes over to Lucas and pokes him. He looks at her. She nods towards Rei. He shakes his head. She rolls her eyes and steps forward.

‘Pardon me, Miss Rei,’ Rarity begins. ‘We noticed that when we found your bag. It appears to have a crest of...’

‘The Neighponese royal family. Correct. I am the last of the royal family, thanks to a major earthquake when I was a foal. This locket is the only thing I have to remember them by. It is said to contain their photos, but I have been unable to open it. Queen Luna took pity on me and had her attendants stationed in Neighpon take care of me. Technically, I am also known as Duchess Full Moon.’

The other ponies are taken aback. The sudden revelation comes as a big shock. Lucas is embarrassed to be attracted to a royal. Rarity is embarrassed to have gotten into yet another tiff with nobility. Pinkie is upset that she did not have time to prepare more regal treats. The Wandering Physicist is the only one to react calmly.

‘This day is turning out to to be more and more exciting,’ The Wandering Physicist says. ‘Twilight, you will have to get in touch with the other princesses and tell them about this. They should be able to help.’ Twilight nods. ‘Tsukiyo-san, you are free to stay here as long as you need. I can stay in my ship.’

‘Thank you, sir.’ Rei sighs.

‘Excuse me!’ Pinkie raises a foreleg again.

‘Yes, Pinkie. Go ahead and party.’

‘Yay!’

Pinkie shoots streamers from out of nowhere. She instantly starts trying to revive the party to raise Rei’s spirits. While the other ponies are cheering up, The Wandering Physicist slips into his TARDIS and locks the door. He gets out his sonic and looks at it. He goes over to his center console. His TARDIS is more high tech and looks more computerized compared to The Doctor’s more organic themes. He goes to a spot on the console that looks like an outlet and plugs his sonic in. After a second, a holographic version of the older Luna springs to life. The Wandering Physicist sits to watch the recording.

‘Ah, my beloved James. So good to see you again.’ The hologram greets. ‘It has only been mere moments since we were last together but as I record this, it feels like centuries... again. I wonder which face you are wearing wherever you are. As you may have guessed, the one calling herself Tsukiyo Rei is not really who she says she is and by now, you know she is trapped in whatever dimension she ended up in.’ She sighs. ‘You have always been there for me. You were there to comfort me when I lost my sister. You stood with me when we raised a revolution and saved my people from oppression. We mourned together when that unspeakable horror stuck down the Elements of Harmony, including my rival for your affections and your true love, Twilight Sparkle.’ The Wandering Physicist feels his stomach drop. ‘This time, I am afraid we lost something more dear. It devastated us when we heard the news from The Doctor, but we knew it had to happen if it were a Fixed Point in Time. We tried to remain detached, but you know us. We did everything right to prepare for this day. I know the whole family will be crushed once it finally comes.’ She goes silent briefly and wipes away some tears. ‘Please take good care of Rei, Princess Full Moon, our daughter. I know you will do a great job no matter what reality you are in. Thank you and I love you, my husband.’

The recording stops. The Wandering Physicist calmly removes the sonic from the outlet and goes to the door of the TARDIS. He takes several deep breaths to steel himself and goes out. He looks over his friends enjoying themselves once more and wonders what to do with his secret information.

Author's Note

Fun Fact: Rei was originally conceived to be a rival for TWP's affection. My first idea was somepony from another country (hence he being from Neighpon), but that would have been solved by an airship ticket or TARDIS ride. My next idea was adding a time travel element, making her be from the past. (Technically, Rei is from approximately 20 years in the future from this point in time.) Again, this is solvable with time travel. The final result was Rei's origins as they are seen here. In order to make that work properly, I had to remove the romantic rival element. Not that much of a loss seeing what she will become.

The elements of her birth parents plays an important part to who she is and why she feels a connection to TWP when they first meet. It is just one of those added complications to add to her character. The issue of Rei's family is one of her driving motivations through the entire series.

Bonus: I did an Ask TWP art inspired by the opening scene. There is a certain mint green unicorn of future plot importance hinted in that scene.

Insufferable

Main Characters: TWP, Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, Luna, Twilight, Rei
Cameos: Celestia
Original Write Date: October 24, 2011

Octavia is a very proper mare. Her mane is always well-groomed. Her coat is always perfectly shiny. Her bow tie is always on straight and perfectly cool. Her double bass is always well-maintained and in the finest condition and definitely not a cello. Her cello was left home for this concert since it was not needed. Everything about her rang perfection and she expected nothing but perfection in return. This night, she is not getting what she expected.

She is giving a regularly-scheduled concert with her normal quartet. It is a very special night since the princesses and their special guests are in the audience. One of the guests is somepony Octavia had seen before. Unfortunately, another guest is being disruptive. After playing with a handheld device (with Princess Celestia joining in and playing too), he is currently sleeping. Octavia’s anger is not just hers. It seems as though the other guests, Princesses Luna and Sparkle and a white pegasus, are also upset at the sleeping stallion. She makes note of those facts so she can complain in the next Night Court. She finishes her set, takes her bow and quickly glares towards the still sleeping offender. The fact that his glasses are almost falling off just adds to Octavia’s ire.

Back at the palace, The Wandering Physicist is checking websites on his laptop. He is enjoying laying on the really comfortable palace beds. They are almost as good as those in the TARDIS. There is a knock at the door.

‘Enter.’

The door opens, and Twilight Sparkle enters the room. She is looking a little annoyed. She gets more annoyed when The Wandering Physicist just smiles at her. She snorts as he makes room on the bed for her.

The Wandering Physicist, Twilight Sparkle and their new friend Tsukiyo Rei are in Canterlot to report an unusual occurrence. Rei is not really from this reality. She is from a parallel reality and stuck here. At the recorded suggestion of the parallel world’s Queen Luna, they are in Canterlot to inform the princesses about the situation. The Wandering Physicist tried getting out of this duty, but the only other dimensional expert, The Doctor, was conveniently off-planet at the moment. While in Canterlot, the princesses are treating their special guests to all of the finest culture Canterlot can offer. The group has just returned from a special concert. The Wandering Physicist slept through most of it.

After what she feels is a long enough glare, Twilight finally gets on the bed next to her friend. She immediately renews the glare.

‘Just because it wasn’t Paul and Storm...’

‘Arr!’ /* Excited Arr! */

Twilight develops an eye twitch. ‘...does not mean you could behave like that.’

‘Ah come on! You know Celestia would love Paul and Storm.’

‘That is not the point.’ Twilight hisses. ‘The point is to do something with a little culture.’

‘Arr.’ /* Dejected Arr! */ He frowns, then looks up and smiles. ‘In-N-Out should be open still. I bet we can get some of the guards to take us to the fly-through.’

Even the temptation of the greatest food on the planet can not calm Twilight down. ‘Listen. If you promise to behave yourself, I promise to do something very special for you when we return to Ponyville.’

The Wandering Physicist pretends to think for a moment. ‘Hmm. Nope!’

‘Yeah... I knew that was a stupid thing to say the moment it left my mouth.’ Twilight sighs and lays down on the bed. ‘What is the latest on EqD?’

‘Bah. The editor-in-chief is going on about Trixie again. Nothing new.’

Twilight moans and rolls on the bed. She bumps into The Wandering Physicist’s side. After a brief bit of embarrassment, she sighs and settles in. She jumps a bit when there is a knock at the door.

‘It’s open.’

Twilight quickly picks herself up as a young pegasus enters. She flops herself down on the bed in front of Twilight and The Wandering Physicist. Twilight grumbles. The Surfing Physicist sets his laptop on the new pony’s wings.

‘I’m bored,’ Rei moans.

‘This is the worst computer table ever.’

Rei groans.

The Wandering Physicist looks at Twilight. ‘Also, your horn is interfering with my wifi.’

Twilight groans too. ‘Well, there is only so much we can do in Canterlot at this hour.’

‘Told you I should have brought a Wii.’

‘Yeah, like you need more ways to embarrass me in front of the princesses.’

‘Your queen seemed to be fine with it,’ Rei chimes in.

‘Princess. Princess Celestia,’ Twilight corrects.

‘Although... My queen was upset, so I had to be mad too.’ Rei adds.

‘Princess! We have princesses! What don’t you get about that yet?’ Twilight snaps at Rei. Rei giggles. ‘Oh. Funny.’ She turns to The Chuckling Physicist. ‘It is like you two are related or something.’

The Wandering Physicist misses typing and accidentally punches Rei in the back. Known only to The Wandering Physicist, Rei’s parents are really her reality’s versions of The Wandering Physicist and Luna. And now he has just given his alternate reality kid her first spanking. Twilight laughs at the accident.

‘Ow! What the frak was that for!’ Rei complains.

‘How the frak do you know the word frak?’

Rei rolls her eyes. ‘Pul-ease. I have been around all of you speaking Equestrian for almost a week now. It wasn’t that hard to pick up.’

‘Wait a minute. You learned a new language in a week?’ Twilight is shocked.

Rei shrugs. ‘It was easier than Zebra.’

‘Zebra!’ Twilight is aghast.

Rei just shrugs and goes back to being a table.

‘I know something we can do.’ The Devious Physicist says, looking up from his Twitter feed.

Twilight knows that look. ‘I’ll inform the guards to go easy on you in advance.’

‘It is nothing like that.’

‘How come I get the feeling that isn’t the whole truth?’

‘No! It is perfectly peaceful. We just get a bunch of supplies and a tent and head on over to Celestia Park.’

Twilight facehoofs. ‘We are not joining Occupy Canterlot.’

‘That’s what you said when I tried starting Occupy Ponyville.’

‘You are a time traveling alien! If anything, you are in the one percent!’

‘I am a time traveling alien. I am not in any percentile.’

‘Yeah! He is out of this world!’ Rei adds.

The Wandering Physicist and Rei laugh at the joke. He lifts his computer in time as she falls off the bed laughing. Twilight snorts at them. After the laughter dies, Rei remains laying on the floor. She stares out of the window.

‘You know, we had a space program on my planet.’

‘We have a bit of one here, too.’ Twilight says.

‘No. I mean a BIG space program. Lots of ponies living in space. The queen even visited the moon once.’

Twilight falls off the bed, and The Wandering Physicist laughs hysterically. Rei looks at both of them, confused.

Twilight pulls herself up. ‘That is not funny!’ She snaps.

‘No! It is hilarious!’

‘I don’t get it...’

‘Let’s just say that Luna visited the moon once in our universe too.’

‘Oh? How did she find it?’ Rei asks.

‘Not that pleasant,’ comes a voice from the window.

The friends turn to see Princess Luna entering through the window. The Wandering Physicist is able to control his laughter to a point. A glare from Luna brings it down to an over-sized grin. Rei quickly gets up and bows to Luna. Luna rolls her eyes at the act.

‘Princess! What brings you here at this hour?’ Twilight asks.

‘We’re out of bananas if that is what you’re here for.’ The Wandering Physicist says.

Luna grimaces. ‘I am here to remind you about our meeting in the morning and to advise you to get some sleep as not to miss it.’ The last part was directed at a certain stallion. ‘If you would kindly unseal the door, I will take my leave in a more conventional manner.’

‘Door’s not locked,’ The Wandering Physicist replies. ‘And my sonic is...’ He looks around him. ‘Odd. It was next to me when Rei got here.’

The other ponies look around the room and Twilight finds it next to her. Rei starts laughing.

‘Twilight flank-soniced the door!’

Twilight replaces the sonic on the bed and The Wandering Physicist opens the door.

‘I take my leave now. I look forward to seeing you in the morning.’ Luna sighs. ‘Before I go to bed..’ She mumbles to herself.

‘Goodnight, princess!’ Rei cheers.

‘Goodnight, princess,’ Twilight bows.

‘I hope your night is serene.’ The Wandering Troublemaker smirks.

Luna stops to shudder then leaves. Rei snickers again.

‘I hope my flank isn’t as big as yours when I am your age.’

‘I am only six years older than you!’ Twilight roars.

‘Calm down before you reach level forty,’ The Wandering Pokè Master sighs.

‘Well, I, for one, am going to take the princess’ advice,’ Twilight states.

Twilight gets up. She fails her anger roll and goes over to The Wandering Physicist. She gives him a goodnight nuzzle despite her leftover ire. He returns the nuzzle.

‘Sleep well.’

‘Actually sleep,’ Twilight replies.

Twilight just nods at Rei and leaves. Rei gets up and stretches her wings.

‘I’ll be seeing you too. I’ll be on MK7 if you get bored.’ Rei starts leaving. ‘You know, as weird as this sounds, I would not be unhappy if you two were my parents.’

Rei smiles and leaves. The Wandering Physicist is shocked at what he just heard. He sighs under the weight of the information he carries and returns to his computing.

The next night, Octavia is groomed to perfection. She sports her best and coolest bow tie. A regal air surrounds her. Everything about her says ‘I am better than you and you know it’ in the loudest Royal Canterlot voice known to ponykind. Night Court will not know what hit it.

The pony Octavia is with, on the other hand, is not as well-groomed as she would like. Her friend Vinyl Scratch has nothing to do this night and thought it would be awesome to tag along with her friend. Vinyl knows that Octavia is a regular at Night Court, and the show entertains her more than the various music they hear (and debate) together. Vinyl is wearing her trademark sunglasses and her trademark big grin known to annoy Octavia the most.

Octavia is in line for the open court segment of the night where anypony can bring a matter to one of the princesses. Despite Princess Luna’s popularity, her open court has shorter lines and tends to get more direct results. Octavia takes advantage of this to put forward motions she knows are of importance to all ponies, despite the failure of her petitions to banish both rap and country music to the moon for a thousand years. The pony before Octavia finishes, and she moves up to take her place before the princess. Vinyl gets out a secret bag of popcorn to watch the show.

‘Octavia!’ Luna greets with a hint of sarcasm. ‘What brings you back here this week?’

‘Dear princess, a great injustice has befallen me,’ Octavia says, bowing.

Luna rolls her eyes. ‘What is it this time?’

‘There was a major disruption at my last performance.’

The princess groans. ‘Is this like the time with the school trip?’

‘Those ungrateful brats cared less for music than they did for unleashing ancient evils upon us!’

‘Evil, my flank...’ the pony behind Octavia scoffs.

‘Not only are you talking about two different school trips but when you addressed the trip in question, I am sure you scared a number of young foals from getting music-related cutie marks.’

‘They had to be taught a lesson about manners!’ Octavia shouts, losing a bit too much of her composure. Vinyl snickers from the audience. Octavia calms her anger and readjusts her bow tie.

Luna audibly groans this time, much to Vinyl’s enjoyment. ‘Children do not normally sit still though a classical performance, but they do enjoy the experience.’ Octavia snorts. ‘Very well. Miss Octavia, what disruption are you bringing to my attention this time? I am sure your mane was in perfect order so it was not a stray strand.’

The whole court laughs at the current patron, but she just dismisses them as foul common ponies with no class. Octavia takes a few deep breaths before beginning.

‘This is a matter I believe your highness had noticed as well.’ Octavia begins. ‘For, you see, this disruption was within your royal delegation.’ Luna facehoofs, not caring about protocol at this point. ‘Ah! I see you know of the perpetrator in question. All I ask is for his identity, and I will teach that foal a lesson, with your blessing.’

‘Just this one time I will allow you to do what you wish.’ Octavia silently hoof pumps inside. ‘But if you wish his identity, all you need do is turn around.’

Octavia is aghast. She turns to see the offending stallion stand right behind her. Vinyl practically chokes on her popcorn as she laughs at the look on Octavia’s face. The offending stallion steps up as Octavia falls back in shock.

‘What is it, James?’ Luna sighs.

‘We’re out of hot water,’ The Dripping, Towel-Wrapped Physicist says.

Luna rubs her temples in frustration. ‘And this is important for Night Court why?’

The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘I just wanted to cut to the highest in the chain of command, and you’re my favorite princess.’

The audience, minus Octavia, lets out a collective ‘aw’ at the last statement.

Luna controls her anger. ‘That is not a matter for royal consideration.’

‘How about if I suggest heating up that large pool in that nearby courtyard as a large bath?’

‘That is a fountain containing a statue of my sister!’

‘So...’

‘No! Are you quite finished embarrassing both yourself and this once esteemed institution!’

‘Almost. I just need to point out that I found a Wii, and there may have been a mishap with the big TV...’

‘Out! Just out! I will deal with you after my duties are finished!’ Luna yells at a level just short of her Royal Canterlot voice.

The Insufferable Physicist smiles and happily leaves the court. Luna takes a short recess to calm herself down. Octavia stews over the outrage that she has just witnessed. Not only did that offensive stallion insult the princess and mock the whole concept of open court, but he was the one who fell asleep at her performance! Justice must be served.

Vinyl goes over her friend. ‘Best. Night Court. Ever.’

‘How can you say such a thing!’ Octavia cannot contain her ire. ‘That awful stallion disrespected the princess and - worst of all - me!’

‘Calm down, Tavi.’ Vinyl starts escorting her friend out of the court. ‘We just found out he is a guest staying at the royal palace. It would not be wise to start a fight with him.’

‘Vinyl, please. Fighting is so beneath me and my stature.’ Octavia regains her attitude. ‘I am merely going to present him with a reasoned opinion that he is sure to find acceptable and justly administered.’

‘To the pony called James. Kiss my flank. Love, Tavi,’ Vinyl mocks.

‘You are so childish,’ Octavia says with a hair flip.

Octavia makes her way out of the court as Vinyl holds the door for her friend. She scans the hallway for the offensive stallion and finds him planted just outside as if he were a dog waiting for his master. His wide (and somewhat handsome) grin and kind eyes do nothing to abate Octavia’s anger.

‘Hi!’ The Wandering Physicist greets.

‘Sup!’ Vinyl replies.

‘Not much. You?’

‘Same. Loved your performance in there.’

‘Heh, heh. I really didn’t mean to upset Luna that much. I violate Wheaton’s Law when I’m in a place that I really don’t want to be in.’

‘I hear that.’

‘Do you two know each other?’ Octavia grumbles.

‘Right! James, this is Octavia. Tavi, this is The Wandering Physicist, aka James,’ Vinyl introduces.

‘I know DJ Pon3 from her visits to MC RC’s theatre near mine,’ The Wandering Physicist explains.

‘How is Rip?’ Vinyl asks.

‘Doin’ good. Rolling ones but doing good.’

‘I have to sit in on your game again some time.’

‘Word.’

The Wandering Physicist and Vinyl start reaching up to brohoof. Octavia’s eyes go wide, and she slaps them apart before they touch.

‘No!’ Octavia shouts. ‘No friendships! Not with that jerk!’

‘Vinyl isn’t a jerk.’ The Wandering Physicist protests.

Octavia turns to him, red-faced. ‘I meant you! You are an uneducated, classless cad! You have insulted a lot of honor today and I will be the one that enacts vengeance!’

The Wandering Physicist raises an eyebrow. ‘So... You are challenging me?’

‘Yes! Is your skull thick too?’

The Wandering Physicist pulls out a DS. ‘Okay! Standard six vs six battle. I’ll go easy and not use any ubers. You can use whatever you wish, but I will stomp you.’

Octavia is taken aback. ‘What, what are you talking about?’

‘Tavi, he is challenging you to a Pokemon battle. You know, a game.’

‘Such, such a thing is beneath me.’

‘Aw!’ The Wandering Physicist complains. ‘How can fun be beneath you?’

‘Fun is not beneath me!’ Octavia fumes. ‘When I said challenge, I meant something more high class, such as a debate or using instruments.’

‘Ah! I know! I just need to find a fourth and a copy of Rock Band, and we can go all night long.’ The Wandering Physicist covers his mouth. ‘I didn’t really break the big TV.’

‘I do not wish to partake in your electronic entertainment. I want a real instrument.’

‘Come on. I am trying to meet you halfway here.’

‘Hmpf! You are a classless brute! I see I was wasting my time trying to educate one as thick-headed as you. I take my leave!’ Octavia starts walking away. ‘Come along, Vinyl.’

Vinyl shrugs. ‘Sorry, bro.’

‘Meh. It is okay. Even the best of us have days when our fillyfriends overreact.’ Octavia stops in her tracks over what she just heard. ‘Besides, I should know better than to pick on young fillies.’

At the last jab, Octavia turns around. She screams in rage as she jumps The Insulting Physicist. Vinyl tries desperately to separate her friends. A whistle is blown and palace guards start rushing in.

In an unused conference room in a secluded wing of the palace, a small group of ponies have gathered. One of them is Princess Luna flanked by two of her guards. The guard with the eye patch is giving everypony a fierce glare. Another is Vinyl Scratch, looking a little beat up and missing her trademark sunglasses. Next is Octavia looking a little beat as well, her perfect mane and cool bow tie ruined. Her face is buried in her hooves as she contemplates the scandalous stories that will be spread about her now. Last is The Very Beaten and Bit Physicist. He has a small grin as he fixes Vinyl’s sunglasses. Luna is flying just off the ground as she scowls at the three ponies in front of her. She is trying her hardest not to revert to becoming Nightmare Moon again. Needless to say, she is in full Royal Canterlot mode.

‘FIRST THOU DISRUPT OUR COURT THEN THOU DARED START A BRAWL OVER A PETTY ARGUMENT! WE SHOULD HAVE THEE IN THE STOCKADE FOR A YEAR FOR THIS!’

‘I am so sorry,’ Octavia meekly squeaks.

‘SILENCE!’ Luna actually blows the group backwards a centimeter or two with that last shout. ‘THOU ART THE MOST ANNOYING PEST WE HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED!’

‘And she knows me and everything,’ The Snide Physicist adds proudly.

A magic blast sends him into the far wall. The sunglasses are caught in the air and magically repaired by Luna before she returns them to Vinyl. The princess lands and start pacing. She takes a deep breath and forces Royal Canterlot mode off. Octavia starts crying a little.

‘Miss Scratch, since you are not one of the offending...’

‘-- or dying --’ The Injured Physicist interjects.

Luna growls. ‘Since you are not one of the offending party and actually tried to break up the conflict, I would like to know what you believe was the cause?’

‘Well, to be perfectly honest, it was just their personalities, from what I could tell.’

‘Miss Stick-Up-the-Flank and Mr Everything-is-a-Joke you mean?’

‘I know some good one-liners about eating foals if you are talking about me,’ The Offensive Physicist proves.

‘To be fair to him, at least,’ Vinyl adds, ‘he did offer what sounded like a fair reconciliation.’ She looks over at Octavia. ‘Somepony was just too stubborn to accept it.’

Octavia is instantly back to normal. ‘Reconciliation? He said we should play video games! How common and droll is that!’

‘I happen to enjoy playing games with my sister. Those are some of the most fun times we have together,’ Luna shoots.

Octavia winces. ‘I’m sorry.’

Luna sighs. ‘I still have court for a few more hours. I will think of an appropriate punishment then.’

‘I’ve already been blasted by magic after a little filly beat me up!’ The Wandering Physicist protests.

Luna smiles. ‘Then you can take a lot of punishment, you’re saying?’

‘Eep.’

Luna laughs and turns to leave. ‘Guards, I want you to wait outside. No pony in or out without my direct order. Understood?’

The guards salute and follow the princess out. The door locks behind them. Octavia looks worried for her future. The Wandering Physicist rejoins the other two ponies. After a second, he snickers. Then, he starts laughing harder. Vinyl joins in. Their laughs echo around the room. Octavia stares at them in shock.

‘You! Shall not! Pass!’ The Wandering Physicist mimes striking a staff to the ground.

Vinyl falls over laughing. ‘Brilliant! So true!’

‘How can you two laugh at a time like this! The princess is probably devising a million punishments right now. We’ll be lucky if she just has us tied up an thrown in a dungeon.’

‘The way she was looking at Jimmy here, I think she would have him tied down, but not in a dungeon.’ Vinyl jokes.

‘I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I won’t say she hasn’t tried.’

‘You dog, you.’ Vinyl and The Wandering Physicist high hoof.

‘Are you two insane!’ Octavia shouts.

The Wandering Physicist and Vinyl stare at Octavia for a moment.

‘So, did you read today’s Pony Arcade?’ The Wandering Physicist asks Vinyl.

Octavia lets out a very primal scream of rage. ‘My life is ruined! My reputation is ruined! The princess is going to banish me! I’ll be sent to some backwater hole whose taste in music is somehow worse than country! Oh my Celestia! They will be into techno country dubstep! I should just end my life now and get it over with!’

‘Tavi. Calm down. It is not that bad.’ Vinyl motions to her friend. ‘Come on. Come over here and chat with us.’

Octavia gives Vinyl her best ‘you should be paying attention to me~~~~~!’ look then turns away. Vinyl groans and goes over to her friend. They sit with their backs to The Wandering Physicist. Vinyl puts a foreleg around Octavia’s shoulder. Octavia leans into her friend.

‘Thank you, Vinyl,’ Octavia sighs. ‘Am I an important pony?’

‘The most important,’ Vinyl comforts.

‘I don’t want to go to prison.’ Octavia moans.

‘Don’t worry.’

Octavia sighs contently.

‘On day one, I will show everypony you are my bitch and they would have to go through me to get your fine flank.’

Octavia calmly sits up, turns to her friend and yells, ‘I HATE YOU!’

Vinyl falls over from the yell. Fortunately, her years of DJ-ing have made her ears near-invulnerable to loud noises.

‘Wow. I haven’t been outside of a couple-fight in a while. I forgot how fun they were to watch, too.’ The Wandering Physicist observes.

‘We are not a couple!’ Octavia snaps.

Vinyl shrugs. ‘Tavi, it kinda looks like we are given how much we do together, and the way we act.’

Octavia gets up, only to go stand, on her hind legs no less, in a corner. She hangs her head.

‘Great. My career was ruined before I met that uncivilized oaf. No wonder I was asked to be a spokesmare for all of those groups...’

The Wandering Physicist turns to Vinyl and mouths ‘really?’ Vinyl shrugs and nods.

‘Just one humiliation after another...’

Octavia raises a hoof and swings it at the wall. Before she hits, she is stopped. She looks over and sees The Wandering Physicist holding her hoof. He is treating her quite gently despite the almost dire situation.

‘No. You are a wonderful musician. If you damage your hooves, you will lose all that makes you special.’

Octavia stares at The Wandering Physicist and blushes a little. She pulls away from him. ‘Whatever.’

‘Don’t you go all bi-curious on me now,’ Vinyl taunts.

Octavia turns away in a huff. The Wandering Physicist shrugs and finds a nice wall to lay against.

‘Whatcha thinking, Jim?’ Vinyl asks.

‘I was going to try resting until Luna returns. I don’t want to be too tired if she is going to tie me up.’

Vinyl laughs again. ‘Sounds like a plan.’

The Wandering Physicist lays against the wall. Vinyl finds a spot on the floor and lays down too. Octavia looks at the others. Vinyl pats a spot next to her and gets the brush-off. Octavia just moans and leans against a corner.

The Wandering Physicist wakes to a very angry face staring into his. It is not Luna’s as he expected. Nor is it Octavia’s as he might have guessed. It was Twilight Sparkle’s and she looked to be about level thirty-nine and needed only a few more experience points to go full Rapidash.

‘Whatever I did, I promise you I was asleep,’ The Guilty-Until-Proven-Innocent Physicist pleads.

Suddenly, a foreleg goes around The Wandering Physicist’s neck. He sighs in relief when he sees it is white, not dark grey. A small moan is then heard and a pair of dark grey forelegs are stretched in front of his face. He goes deathly pale when he realizes the situation he is in.

‘Okay. I have no idea how this happened. Seriously.’ He tries one last time.

There is a small ‘eep,’ and his face is smashed into the ground.

‘Pervert!’ Octavia declares.

A very amused chuckle and a very annoyed groan are heard from the doorway. Octavia quickly collects herself from what she hopes looked like a murder in self defense and not in cold blood to see both princesses and Celestia’s prize student standing in the room. She looks around for Vinyl in hopes that her friend will back her up and finds her wrapped around Octavia’s recent equusicide. Before Octavia can make it a double murder - in self defense of course - a sharp ‘ahem’ is heard.

‘I believe my sister has something she would like to say,’ Celestia says with a jab to her sister.

Luna jumps for a moment, looks away a bit and says, ‘I am sorry for forgetting you in here last night. I was just so tired after court that it slipped my mind.’

‘Are, are we still in trouble?’ Octavia stammers.

‘I would say...’ Luna starts.

‘No. I think you have been through enough,’ Celestia finishes. ‘Now! Who wants waffles!’

The Dead Physicist meekly raises a hoof.

The Wandering Physicist and his friends are joining the princesses for a light breakfast. His head is bandaged. He sits between Twilight and Rei in order to mitigate any more embarrassment. Octavia is making sure to stay as far away from the stallion as she can. Vinyl is trying to cheer her friend up. Rei giggles at all of the rumors that have been circulating. Luna is staring at her breakfast and sighing about everything. The only pony that does not seem frazzled by the previous night’s events is Celestia.

‘So, Miss Octavia, Miss Scratch,’ Celestia begins, ‘how was your first stay at the castle?’

Octavia attempts to drink but spits her juice across the table at the question.

‘It was pretty fun,’ Vinyl answers. ‘The bed was bit lumpy, though.’

‘I didn’t do anything!’ The Defensive Physicist shouts.

‘Duh. It was all Tavi.’

Octavia sprays another glass of juice across the royal dining table.

‘Oh really?’ Celestia asks. ‘What happened?’

‘Well, it was cold. She was shivering and found the most obvious source of heat. I just sniped the spot by the wall for the most heat.’ Vinyl chuckles.

Octavia buries her face in embarrassment. The Wandering Physicist dodges Twilight’s glare, then Luna’s and ends up staring at the ornate and well-crafted ceiling that was seemingly too advanced a design for the age of the building. He makes a mental note to check it out when he got back to his TARDIS. Rei’s childish snickering continues at his side.

‘It seems our Mr. Wanderer is good at creating disruptions outside of the court room,’ Celestia chuckles.

‘You have no idea...’ The Wandering Physicist muses while admiring the intricate detail on the individually carved pegasi that seem to dance around the ceiling.

‘Hmm, I’ll just have to do something about that.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Well, I hear the Sea of Tranquility is nice this time of year.’

Luna’s horn flashes for a second, and The Wandering Physicist is psychically kicked under the table. The psychic kick goes well with the physical jab from Twilight.

‘Actually, I believe you have imparted enough wisdom about the situation you were called here for. You are free to leave at your discretion.’

‘Yes! I’m free!’ The Excited Physicist jumps up and double hoof pumps, knowing full well that Luna and Twilight would give him hell later.

‘As for you, little Octavia, I have heard from my sister that your name appears quite regularly in her court records. I think you should pay back the state for all of the time you take up.’

Octavia has recovered enough of herself from the embarrassment earlier. ‘Forgive me, princess, but I seem to have left my cheque book in my other tie.’

‘Actually, I was thinking you could give music lessons at local schools. Wouldn’t that be nice?’

‘Extremely,’ Octavia groans.

‘You can start with South Canterlot Fundamental. First year.’ Luna adds with a devious smile.

‘That is...’ Octavia says in horror.

‘That is right. The class you so rudely insulted in your last encounter.’ Luna says with an evil laugh.

‘Awesome!’ Vinyl cheers. ‘What do I get?’

‘They will approve your marriage license,’ The Wandering Physicist jokes.

A whole bowl of the finest fruit in Equestria flies across the tables from Octavia’s location straight to The Wandering Physicist’s face.

After quickly showering and packing, The Wandering Physicist is ready to leave. He waits in the main foyer for Twilight to be ready. Rei is staying behind because there is still more she can tell the princesses. A set of doors open, and a pair of ponies walk out. Octavia and Vinyl are having another of their petty squabbles.

‘I don’t care if that mare is one of the royal guards and I somehow inspired her. I still found what she said insulting,’ Octavia complains.

‘Tavi... You just have to accept your public image for what it is.’

‘Hmpf. I prefer the image I crafted for myself.’

‘Then you should be seen with a pony like me more than Vinyl,’ The Wandering Physicist interjects. ‘Or at least some other stallion.’

Octavia shoots The Wandering Physicist a glare then turns away. She starts heading out of the palace. Vinyl follows her friend, stopping long enough to brohoof with The Wandering Physicist. Right before the mares leave, a whistle stops them.

‘Octavia, I look forward to seeing you again.’

Octavia thinks. ‘Hmm. As do I.’

‘Besides, you still owe me a game of Rock Band.’

Octavia thinks for a moment, adjusts her bow tie to maximum cool, fixes her mane, turns to The Wandering Physicist and flashes the perfect smile because, damn it, she is.

Author's Note

Story Event: First chapter to take more than one day to write.

TWP Timeline: His first encounter with Octavia.

A Day of Wandering

Main Characters: TWP, Lucas, Pinkie, Rarity, Twilight, Cheerilee, Apple Bloom, Fluttershy, Octavia, Rainbow Dash, Luna
Cameos: Spike, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle
Original Write Date: October 28, 2011

The Wandering Physicist is up bright and early around midday. He comes down from his second story home ready to work, his laptop, mobile and hoofhelds ready. Fortunately, Lucas has opened The Power Block, Ponyville’s finest and only video game store, and is at the main counter. The Wandering Physicist goes over and sets up his computer. He surveys the empty store.

‘Morning rush?’ he asks.

‘Nonexistent.’ Lucas answers.

‘Midday rush?’

‘You’re seeing it.’

‘Excellent! Want to play some CoD?’

‘Boss... You need a break.’

‘I just had a break. I went to Canterlot. It was fun. There was lots of yelling.’

‘Yes, you told me but if you want to play a FPS, then something is wrong.’

‘I am perfectly fine.’

‘You also haven’t left the store since you got back.’

‘But it has been so gloomy outside! Who would want to go out in this weather?’

Lucas looks out at the sunny day. Dozens of ponies are seen on the streets, even in this out of the way district. He turns back to see his boss shaking a hoof at the sun.

‘Go away, you bastard!’ The Threatening Cosmologist shouts.

Lucas facehoofs. ‘Boss, you are acting crazier than usual. Is everything fine?’

‘How is my threatening the sun crazier than usual? That sounds pretty normal for me.’

Lucas looks around nervously and steps back. ‘Did... did you and Twilight break up?’

‘You’re fired,’ The Wandering Physicist says without looking up.

Lucas sighs. ‘Boss, you need a break. You have been cooped up in here for the past four days. Get out and see the town!’

The Wandering Physicist wraps his forelegs around his laptop. ‘But I don’t wanna.’

Lucas scowls. He goes into the back office and returns holding a small cartridge with his magic.

‘My original Mother 3 cart! You wouldn’t...’

‘You know what my magic can do,’ Lucas threatens. ‘Get out of the shop, or else.’

The Wandering Physicist frowns. He packs up all of his electronics and heads to the door. Lucas sighs and sets down the cartridge. He goes back to the counter and watches his boss head out. He sees The Camping Physicist sitting outside using his laptop. He runs to the door and throws it open.

‘You have to go further! Get out of here!’

‘But I will be out of range of the wi-fi...’

‘Go!’

The Wandering Physicist pouts and packs up again.

The Wandering Physicist is wandering through Ponyville looking for a place to hang out for the day. As he goes down the street, he sees two familiar faces approaching.

‘Mr Hayate James Wanderer!’ Pinkie Pie greets.

‘Such marvelous timing. We were just on our way to see you and Lucas.’ Rarity joins in.

‘You’re early. Kinect Raving Rabbids doesn’t come out for another week.’

Pinkie gasps.

‘Of all of the worst things to happen! This! Is! The! ... Wait. I don’t care about that.’

‘Oh. How can I help you then?’

‘We’re here to invite you to a party!’ Pinkie beams.

‘Oh...’ The Wandering Physicist replies, not sounding very enthused. Pinkie frowns at his reaction.

‘Actually, darling, the party is just part of the deal,’ Rarity corrects. ‘Did you happen to receive my missives I’ve been sending you this past week?’

‘Oh yeah. Those were so funny,’ The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘We have them posted in the shop as a gag.’

Rarity’s jaw drops.

‘Oh.....’ The Wandering Physicist realizes. ‘They weren’t jokes.’

‘Nopey lopey!’

‘You see, you two are really invited to a fashion show,’ Rarity explains.

‘And the title...’

‘Ah yes,’ Rarity starts. ‘You see after your little excursion to save Derpy and that incident with that... interesting pegasus, I was inspired!’ She poses dramatically. ‘The innate mystery of beings from another world brought out my muse and thus my “It Came From Another Planet” fashion line was borne!’ She poses extra dramatically and adds magical effects as well.

Everypony in the area is staring at Rarity. The spell is broken when somepony mumbles ‘I think I have that DVD.’ and gets some laughs from the other ponies in earshot.

Rarity collects herself. ‘So, um, would we be seeing you at the show tomorrow?’

‘Oh, well, um, err... I don’t have anything to wear?’

‘I will be happy to supply a fine suit to the guest of honor.’

‘Great... Fine. I’ll see you then.’

‘Wait!’ Pinkie interrupts. ‘What about my parties?’

‘Right...’ Pinkie, again, is a little upset at the less than enthusiastic reaction.

‘Yes, you simply must come to them,’ Rarity insists.

‘Them?’

‘Right!’ Pinkie is again chipper. ‘We have the pre-show party tonight, the post-show party tomorrow, followed by the post-post-show party, then the after-party. That is the cool one.’

The Wandering Physicist is a little incredulous about all of the parties, but extremely sad eyes from Pinkie cause him to sigh.

‘Fine. I’ll be there.’

‘Great! I look forward to seeing you there!’ Pinkie starts bouncing down the street.

‘As do I.’ Rarity hurries on to catch her friend.

The Wandering Physicist sighs and continues his hunt for a place to hang out.

The Wandering Physicist is going through the town looking for an open wi-fi signal. Unfortunately, Ruby Dart, the owner of the local computer shop, did too good a job setting up the wireless network for the town, and The Wandering Hacker is too lazy to even brute-force her passwords. He is now heading to the most logical place where he would find an internet connection: the library.

The Wandering Physicist goes inside the library. He immediately regrets it as a small herd of foals run past him.

‘Get back here!’ Spike yells as he chases the foals. ‘It is almost story time.’

The Wandering Physicist is about to wander back outside when a pair of mares approach. One is Twilight Sparkle. The other he recognizes as the school teacher Cheerilee.

‘Mr Wanderer! So good to see you here.’ Twilight greets. ‘Would you like to help us out today?’

‘Sorry, but I think I left my net gun back at the shop.’

‘Oh, Mr Wanderer.’ Cheerilee laughs. ‘I heard you were a funny one, and I see it is true.’

The Wandering Physicist and Twilight decide to not tell Cheerilee that he was not joking.

‘I am sorry I don’t know you too well, but video games are not really good for developing minds,’ Cheerilee says.

‘Actually, studies have shown that gaming is good for all sorts of mental development...’ The Wandering Physicist starts as he prepares to beat Cheerilee with facts and the largest book he can find.

‘Anyway,’ Twilight says as she magically removes a large atlas from The Wandering Debater’s reach, ‘I am hosting a story time today for the all of the students in the preschool and kindergarten. Would you like to help?’

Cheerilee adds, ‘We already have some volunteers, but...’

‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADER FOAL WRANGLERS! YAY!’ The Cutie Mark Crusaders yell as they run through the library faster than they should.

‘Did I say net gun? I meant taser.’

‘Oh, you’re really silly, Mr Wanderer,’ Cheerilee assumes. ‘Here. We’ll find you a room and get you set up.’

Cheerilee goes off to find a room in the library to set up. Spike comes running back through the room being chased by foals.

‘Ah! Save me, Twilight!’
‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADER DRAGON SAVERS! YAY!’ The Cutie Mark Crusaders yell as they run after Spike.

‘I really should be going... I just needed an internet connection,’ The Wandering Physicist explains.

‘Please!’ Twilight begs. ‘It is only for one story.’

‘I don’t know...’

‘I’ll tell Lucas where you are,’ Twilight threatens.

‘So! One story, eh!’ The Wandering Physicist says, looking out over a group of young foals.

The foals stare back at The Wandering Physicist.

‘My dad says that you have never kissed a girl and never will,’ A small brown earth pony filly says.

‘Chocolate Sprinkle, right?’ The filly nods. ‘Well, your dad once had an “experimental phase” in high school. Ask him about it.’ He looks at a young unicorn colt. ‘Ask his dad too. He was there to, uh, “lend a hoof”.’ If only I can use the TARDIS to get revenge on the people that made fun of me in high school...

The foals murmur amongst themselves.

‘Okay! Story!’ The Wandering Physicist interrupts before awkward questions start flying. ‘So what do you want to hear? The Occupy Canterlot press release? The proposed New Lunar Republic constitution? Something I found on like called online “Cupcakes”? Maybe...’

‘This book here!’ Apple Bloom says as she enters with a book on her head.

The Wandering Physicist takes the book and looks it over as Apple Bloom takes a seat.

‘You’re free to go.’

‘Twilight wants me t’ keep an eye on ya. Fer some reason she doesn’ entirely trust ya.’

‘Smart filly...’ The Wandering Physicist groans as he looks the book over. ‘ “The Ugly Duckling”, eh? I think we can have some fun with this.’

Twilight and Cheerilee have gathered the students in the main hall of the library. They are doing a headcount before sending them home.

‘That is all of them, except for the group with Mr Wanderer,’ Cheerilee says.

‘We should go get them before they drive each other insane.’ Twilight replies.

Cheerilee laughs, still not knowing that Twilight is not joking. They go to the room where The Wandering Physicist is set up. They open the door to a fairly calm scene.

‘Okay! What was the lesson of the story?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘To be an unique and special individual!’ The class replies.

Twilight is a little surprised that the foals were not taught a misleading or corrupted version of the story. Then The Wandering Physicist asks his next question.

‘Good. And why was the ugly duckling teased?’

A small pegasus colt raises a hoof. ‘Because the other ducklings were following a misguided and outdated social philosophy imposed on them by the corrupt media, conservative government figures and an uncaring education system!’

Twilight and Cheerilee are shocked.

‘Correct! And what happened to them?’

Apple Bloom shoots a hoof up. ‘The ugly ducklin’ rose t’ become a powerful innovator and was able t’ buy an’ sell the ducklin’s that made fun o’ him. He was then able t’ reverse the stigmata of bein’ unique and special that conservative conformists are tryin’ t’ use t’ bend us t’ their will.’

‘Excellent Apple Bloom! So class, what should you do?’

‘Be unique and special!’

‘Why?’

‘Otherwise we are corporate and political drones!’

‘What else should you do?’

‘Don’t trust whitey!’

‘Splendid!’ The Wandering Physicist notices two aghast mares at the door. ‘Looks like it is time to go.’

‘AW!’ The class moans.

‘It is okay. Remember to ask your teacher for that list of informative websites I emailed her.’ The Wandering Physicist smiles at the shocked Cheerilee.

‘Yay!’ The class cheers as they run out the door.

‘Well, that was an... unique interpretation of the story,’ Cheerilee says.

‘I’m free to speak to your class anytime,’ The Wandering Lecturer offers.

‘Oh. Uh. I’ll think about that,’ Cheerilee dodges.

‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADER OCCUPY PONYVILLE! YAY!’ is heard from out of the room.

‘Oh. That cannot be good,’ Cheerilee moans as she turns around and runs from the room. ‘Girls! Wait!’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘That was a lot more fun than I expected.’

‘How can you mess up such a simple story!’ Twilight shouts.

‘They started asking questions. I just filled in the answers with examples from the real world. Kids are quite an astute force of nature when you encourage and challenge them.’

‘Don’t trust whitey?’ Twilight fumes.

‘Oh. Right. Eh heh heh...’

Twilight magically slams the door and screams of fear and pain are heard inside.

The Wandering Physicist is sitting at a table in the middle of a park. He is covered in small bandages and bruises. After a brief stint in the clinic, followed by a large donation to the National Association of Free Clinics because everypony should support them until universal healthcare is available to all ponies, The Wandering Physicist found the safest, quietest place in town to rest and go online to do business. He was able to use the tethering feature from his mobile to get a signal for his laptop and has been working for the past few hours. He finally lets out a sigh and closes the laptop. On the other side of the table, Fluttershy is staring at him. He screams and falls off the table.

‘Ow! That hurt,’ he moans from the ground.

‘I’m sorry.’ Fluttershy apologizes from under the table where she hid from scream. ‘I shouldn’t have scared you.’

‘Nah. It is cool. It was just surprising seeing you suddenly there.’

Fluttershy comes out from under the table. ‘Actually... I was there for the past couple hours...’

‘Seriously? You should have said something.’

‘Oh no! You looked so busy. I didn’t want to interrupt.’

‘We IM-ed for thirty minutes!’

Fluttershy squeaks and hides under the table again.

‘Sorry. Sorry. Just been a long day.’

‘I’m sorry. How did you get hurt?’

‘Never make fun of Celestia in front of Twilight.’

‘Oh dear,’ Fluttershy laughs. ‘I am surprised you got off that easy.’ She offers a hoof to help.

‘Thanks, but I can barely move. I think my back went out when I fell.’

‘Oh. Let me help you.’ Fluttershy rolls The Paralyzed Physicist over and presses down hard on his back. She ignores his scream. ‘Calm down. I am a professional.’

‘Professional animal care!’

‘Ponies are animals too.’ A loud pop is heard. ‘Oopsie. I can fix that.’

‘No! I am fine!’

The Wandering Physicist tries breaking free, but he cannot get up from under Fluttershy. She tumbles over him, and they fall down a small hill and roll to the bottom. The Wandering Physicist lands on top of Fluttershy. They are staring right into the other’s face.

‘Oh dear.’ Fluttershy blushes and tries curling into a ball.

‘Sorry!’ The Wandering Physicist leaps back but stops and gets a pained look on his face from his back.

The Wandering Physicist helps Fluttershy up and they head back to the table in silence. At the table, The Wandering Physicist starts packing up his things.

‘So...’ The Wandering Physicist says.

‘I wish you kissed me...’ Fluttershy utters barely audibly, her cheeks turning bright red.

‘What was that?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘.....’ Fluttershy squeaks in what scientists can barely define as speech.

‘Anyway... I was going to ask why you were waiting for me earlier.’

‘Oh! Um, well, Rarity is having a party tonight and I was hoping you would be my plus one...’ Fluttershy whispers out.

‘Hmm... We have a problem there,’ -- Fluttershy gives a sad squeak -- ‘since I am invited too.’

Fluttershy perks up. ‘Really?’

‘Yep!’

‘Oh good!’ Fluttershy beams at The Wandering Physicist.

‘Hey, since it is getting on in time, want to head over with me now?’ The Wandering Physicist raises a foreleg.

Fluttershy blushes and accepts the offer. They start walking off together.

‘Oo. My neck still hurts.’

‘Want me to help you with that?’

‘No thanks! I’ll be fine.’

The Wandering Physicist rubs his neck a little and continues on with Fluttershy.

At the pre-show party, The Wandering Physicist is sitting off to one side, trying to hide himself as much as possible until he can make a logical escape. He is not one for large parties like this, especially with its the limited selection of non-alcoholic drinks. He moans to himself as he waits for Rarity see him to prove he actually showed. The wondrously loud techno music will be stuck in his head for the next week.

‘Ugh. At least it isn’t rap,’ The Grumbling Physicist says as he works on his soda.

‘The DJ is not crass enough to play that garbage,’ A pony within earshot (about one meter given the volume of the music) comments.

‘Well, I shouldn’t be one to talk since I enjoy chiptone.’

‘You disgust me.’

The Wandering Physicist looks over at the mystery pony. The pony looks back. They both are shocked. ‘You!’ The Wandering Physicist and Octavia shout in unison.

‘Wanna come back to my place for some Rock Band?’ The Wandering Physicist offers.

‘Tasteless cad.’ Octavia shoots as she clumsily takes a seat next to The Wandering Physicist.

‘Party enough already?’

‘I’m not as think as you drunk I am.’ Octavia laughs. ‘I’m saving myself for the real party tomorrow after the show.’

‘Ugh. You going to that too?’ The Wandering Physicist moans.

‘Please. Like I would find myself at something as boring at that,’ Octavia counters. ‘I’m just hitting all of the parties as a friend of the band.’ She takes a drink, then it hits her. ‘Are you here for the show?’ She starts snickering.

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Special guest of Rarity.’

Octavia laughs. ‘No wonder you are here. Whatcha drinking? I’ll help you make it through the show.’

‘I don’t drink.’

‘Blasphemy!’

The Wandering Physicist moans and goes back to his soda. Octavia frowns at her empty drink, gets up, then returns moments later with a pair of cups.

‘On me. It doesn’t have any booze, but it will still put hair on your chest. Your very soft and warm and cuddly chest...’ Octavia stares at The Wandering Physicist in a way and for length of time to make him really uncomfortable. She catches herself and slaps him. ‘Pervert!’

The Wandering Physicist rubs his overstressed neck. ‘And that is why fillies should not be allowed to drink.’

The combination of alcohol and her oversensitivity causes Octavia to snap. She punches the Wandering Physicist as hard as she can across the jaw and screams, ‘You ASS!’

All The Wandering Physicist can do is stare at the wall. Literally. ‘Ow.’ He squeaks at a volume that would impress Fluttershy.

‘Hmph. Stupid flankhat,’ Octavia scoffs as she goes back to her drink. ‘You can look back now.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Good to see you finally have some manners.’

‘No, I mean I literally can’t.’

‘Oh no.’ Octavia starts looking for a good place to hide the body.

‘Uh... If I can get a little help, I think I can make it back to my place.’

‘Oh. Um.’ Octavia reaches over and snaps The Wandering Physicist’s neck back to face her.

They stare at each other for an extended moment. She does not know what to say as her eyes drift toward his lips. He tries his hardest not to scream in pain.

‘Thank you,’ The Wandering Physicist squeaks. He gets up and starts slowly heading out. ‘If you see Rarity, tell her what happened. Peace.’

Octavia watches The Wandering Physicist leaving. If she was not certain that he was in pain, she would have thought he was just trying too show off his flank to her. Not that she was watching that part of him or anything.

The Wandering Physicist finally heads home after a day of wandering. He takes his sweet time and enjoys the walk, mostly because of a number of serious traumas he experienced during the day. He was makes extra notes in his head to fire Lucas several times the next day for either having his mobile off, partying too hard, or being drunk and therefore not helping him in his hour of need.

A shadow shoots by overheard. It comes back a second later. Rainbow Dash drops down and hovers in the air by The Wandering Physicist.

‘Hey, Jim. What’s up?’ Rainbow Dash asks.

‘Oh. Not much. How about you, Miss Dash?’

‘Same. Just heading home from Rarity’s party. Had to get out before she asked me to actually come to the show tomorrow.’

‘Want to be my plus one?’

Rainbow Dash starts flying upside down as she rolls over laughing. ‘So she roped you in, eh? Prepare to be bored out of your skull!’

‘I’m guest of honor.’

Rainbow Dash stops in midair. ‘What!’ She starts pouting. ‘I’ve never been her guest of honor...’

‘You were a model for her.’

‘Yeah, but... I just like to be a guest of honor sometimes.’

‘Well, at the rate I am going, you can have my ticket since I probably won’t make it home in time for the show.’

‘I thought there was something up. Need a lift?’ Rainbow Dash offers.

‘Can you go easy on the back?’

Rainbow Dash thinks. ‘I don’t think I can even lift you easily on my own. How about I find Twilight and have her use her magic?’

‘No! She’ll ask questions...’

‘Oooh!’ Rainbow Dash laughs. ‘What did you say to her this time?’

‘Did you see Scootaloo today?’

‘Yeah. She was trying to join the... Oh.’ Rainbow Dash thinks. ‘I would have thought that time-traveling aliens were in the one percent.’

‘We’re not.’

‘Good to have you on our side!’ Rainbow Dash looks around to make sure nopony is looking. ‘Do we get the reforms we want?’

‘Spoilers.’

Rainbow Dash snorts.

‘Miss Dash, how much physics do you know?’

‘Not as much as you or Twilight.’ Or any at all.

‘Well, if an object is traveling at a high enough momentum, it can use the extra energy to lift objects heavier than it.’ If I totally bastardize the science to my own ends....

Rainbow Dash thinks. ‘I think I got ya. Hold on.’

The pegasus shoots high into the sky, loops around and shoots to the ground. She levels off with the street and takes aim. She slips under The Wandering Physicist who grabs on at the right moment. Their speed is slowed, but she is able to carry him.

‘All right! I’ll get you back home in ten seconds flat!’

‘Or you can take your time if you don’t want to have your mane dyed green.’

Rainbow Dash just laughs and shoots towards The Power Block.

Moans fill The Power Block. The Wandering Physicist lays on his bed with his legs stretched in every direction. His back has never felt so good nor hurt as much at the same time. He is trying to not even think lest it cause his nerves to receive an electrical impulse as regulated via his spinal column. He does not even care that somepony has just broken in and is potentially going through all of his possessions.

The mysterious pony is being very quiet for a burglar, and The Wandering Physicist appreciates that. For some reason, the mysterious pony is even locking all of the doors behind it. If he survives the night, The Wandering Physicist makes a mental note to send this burglar a thank-you card. The burglar is even careful not to disturb The Wandering Physicist as it goes through his room. The burglar is so kind as to give him a kiss on the cheek.

‘Hello, sweetie,’ Luna says as she sits next to the bed.

‘Oh, Luna. Did you scare away the burglar?’

‘Burglar? That was me. I saw your house was open, and I didn’t want you to get hurt or lose anything.’

‘How did you know my house was open? Were you trying to break in or something?’

Luna hides a small burglar’s kit behind her tiara. ‘No. Why would I do that?’ She looks at her sprawled out friend. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Perfectly. Nothing a complete spinal replacement wouldn’t fix.’

‘Okay!’ Luna starts charging a spell. ‘How did this happen?’

‘Well, first Twilight found out I taught some schoolfoals about the New Lunar Republic.’

Luna moans and rolls her eyes. ‘I’ll look forward to all of the outraged letters.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Then Fluttershy ambushed me in the park. She is very sneaky.’ Luna laughs. ‘Then I found out that Octavia has a mean right hook.’

Luna laughs even harder. ‘Twice in one week? For a time traveler, you don’t see things coming too well.’

‘What are you doing back there?’ The Wandering Physicist ask, trying to turn.

‘Almost finished. You might feel a slight tingle.’

Luna’s horn glows with powerful magics. An aura surrounds The Wandering Physicist’s body. Luna touches her horn to his back and the magic flows into his body. The aura pulses the rushes into him.

‘Better?’ Luna asks.

The Wandering Physicist goes so tense he starts shaking. He emits a high-pitched whine.

‘Oh, right! Pain relief spell. I always forget that.’

Luna charges another spell and engulfs The Wandering Physicist again. He lets out a massive sigh and goes completely limp.

‘Sorry...’ Luna hangs her head.

‘It is okay. It is not like you had a thousand plus years to practice.’

A bolt of lightning sparks from Luna’s horn and shocks The Wandering Physicist’s sensitive back. ‘Quiet, youngster.’

The Wandering Physicist rolls into a ball. ‘I wonder if that is what regeneration feels like.’

‘Technically speaking, I used a spell to cause your nervous system to completely reset, so that is sort of like a regeneration.’

‘Not what I meant.’

‘I know.’

Luna carefully steps onto the bed and wraps herself around The Wandering Physicist in a big hug.

‘Have I ever told you that you are so huggable?’ Luna coos.

‘Perfect way to end the day,’ The Wandering Physicist says as he drifts off to sleep.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: First time Fluttershy shows feelings towards TWP. First encounter with Cheerilee. First time he fires Lucas.

Current TWP Love Triangle: Twilight vs Luna (vs Fluttershy)

Fun fact: Video games have shown little to no influence on gamers' violent thoughts. Gaming has also found applications in Alzheimer's treatment and physical therapy. In the US, the SCOTUS ruled 7-2 that video games can receive 1st Amendment protections. For more about the positive effects of gaming consult your local Steam Sale.

Free Press

Main Characters: TWP, Lucas, Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy
Cameos: Spike, Rachel Meadow, Rei, Rainbow Dash, Octavia, Luna/Selene
Original Write Date: October 29, 2011

The Wandering Physicist awakes to the smell of breakfast cooking. This immediately tips him off that two things that have gone terribly wrong. First, somepony is in his house without his permission. Second, he is up in time for breakfast. He looks around for Luna, who he last felt wrapped around him in a huge hug. All he finds is a small note informing him that she had to return to her normal duties. Armed with his sonic screwdriver, he heads out to face whatever danger awaits.

‘Bwah!’ The Wandering Physicist yells as he jumps into the living room waving his sonic around threateningly.

Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Octavia stare back at The Wandering Physicist. A scared Fluttershy peeks out from the kitchen. Everypony just stares for a moment before a loud sizzling comes from the kitchen.

‘My waffles!’ Fluttershy shouts and rushes to the kitchen.

‘Uh... ‘sup?’ The Wandering Physicist says.

‘See, I told you he was fine,’ Rarity says to Twilight.

Twilight rolls her eyes. ‘Luna came by my place last night and told me she healed you. I-I am sorry for what I did,’ She apologizes.

‘Please. She gave the finishing blow,’ The Wandering Physicist says pointing to Octavia.

‘Come on! That filly! She is so scrawny,’ Rainbow Dash taunts.

Octavia scoffs at the ruffian. ‘I was worried about you after I saw you off last night. When I got here to enquire as to your state, Princess Sparkle was already waiting.’

Fluttershy flies out of the kitchen carrying a plate full of waffles and sets them on the table.

‘All right! Food’s on!’ Rainbow Dash says as she darts to the table.

‘WAIT!’ Fluttershy commands as she locks eyes on her friend. Rainbow Dash backs away slowly. Fluttershy turns to the waffles and gives them a dusting of powdered sugar. ‘Ready~!’ She sings.

‘Uh... Who’s idea was the meal?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘Oh!’ Fluttershy shrinks away a little. ‘When I saw everypony here so early, I figured that we’d all be pretty hungry. Please don’t be mad at me.’

‘Personally, I think it is a marvelous idea,’ Rarity says, levitating a plate with some waffles to herself. ‘Fluttershy, I think you have outdone yourself once again.’

The Wandering Physicist thinks. ‘So y’all came because you were worried about my injuries from yesterday?’ Everypony nods. ‘And Lucas just let you in without asking?’ Everypony nods again. ‘Hmm...’
…

The Wandering Physicist comes downstairs ready for work. He is carrying a waffle in his mouth.

‘You’re fired,’ he says as he goes behind the counter to check on Lucas.

‘Yes sir,’ Lucas says as he goes over their recent receipts on the computer.

The Wandering Physicist calls up the receipt file on the Chromebook. ‘There are still some waffles upstairs if you want some.’ He finishes the last of his waffle. ‘I hate to think this, but Fluttershy might be a better chef than Pinkie.’

A loud ‘NOOOOOOO!’ is heard off in the distance.

Lucas finishes his work and heads to get some waffles. As he starts heading upstairs, he encounters Rarity on the way down.

‘Oh, Lucas, good timing. Just come by my shop when you’re ready for your fitting.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’

Rarity heads over to the counter. The Wandering Physicist continues to pore over his work. ‘Ahem.’ The stallion scowls at the screen as he tries to figure out how many copies of a game he has to order. ‘Ahem!’ The Wandering Physicist switches gears and starts checking his Twitter and news feeds. ‘AHEM!’ Rarity slams a hoof on the counter.

‘Do you need something, Rarity?’

‘Oh, me. Nothing really.’ The Wandering Physicist scowls. ‘Oh fine. I need you to come in for your fitting.’

‘Uh, no time. There is nopony to watch the shop then.’

‘I thought that is why you hired Lucas,’ Rarity replies, nodding to the returning unicorn.

‘Lucas, you’re fired.’ The Wandering Physicist grins at Rarity.

Rarity snorts. She magically grabs The Wandering Physicist by the ear and drags him out of the store. Lucas just munches on his waffle as he returns to work.

Octavia peeks in the shop. She tries sneaking to the Rock Band section, but she is the only one in the shop. After looking over the game for a bit, she turns to Lucas.

‘Shopkeeper, do you have one of these for the cello?’

The Wandering Physicist is at Carousel Boutique getting measured. He is wearing a relatively fancy suit that Rarity is marking up.

‘You really don’t have to do this,’ The Uncomfortable Physicist complains.

‘Nonsense!’ Rarity insists. ‘I have paid you back for your foalsitting services only with free meals. If I were to do the same for this, I’d be paying for all of your meals for the next year.’

‘I like that plan!’

Rarity measures around The Wandering Physicist’s stomach. ‘Hmpf. I bet you would.’

The fashionista finishes her measurements and magics the suit off of The Wandering Physicist.

‘Now, this will only take a moment. It seems like you were built for this suit already.’

TARDIS~~ The Wandering Physicist thinks.

‘Feel free to look at any of my magazines while you wait.’

Rarity heads to the back of the shop, working as she goes. The Wandering Physicist sighs and looks around. He flips through the magazines, but they are all fashion or celebrity gossip. He sighs again then notices a notebook. He shrugs and decides to take a peek. Immediately, his face is drained of color. He slams the notebook closed and runs across the room from it. Rarity comes back for just a moment.

‘Excuse me, but...’ Rarity notices The Terrified Physicist.

The Scared Physicist just looks from Rarity to the notebook to Rarity again.

‘Oooh...’ Rarity realizes. ‘Well, uh, ahem. Those are just some sketches of... various ponies’, er, physiques and, uh.... some, uh, educated guesses on what they may look like.’

The Freaked Physicist lets out a whine.

Rarity thinks fast. ‘Since, uh, you have come across them, would you mind, um... posing for a few...’ she chooses her words carefully, ‘anatomy poses? Purely for speculative sketch theory, of course.’

‘No.’ The Nervous Physicist squeaks.

‘Oh, grow up. Big Mac was game.’ Rarity blushes. ‘Boy, was he game.’ She notices her customer trying to sneak out. ‘Fine! You don’t have to.’ She smirks. ‘It allows me to use my imagination more.’

Rarity winks and returns to her work. The Disturbed Physicist whines again.

The Wandering Physicist returns to his shop with a box with his new suit on his back. He is a little down from his discovery of Rarity’s notebook.

‘Yo, boss!’

Lucas comes trotting up with a bit of a smile. The Wandering Physicist looks at his apprentice, groans and looks away.

‘What? Are you still irked about earlier?’ Lucas asks.

‘It is... Never mind.’ The Wandering Physicist answers. ‘Besides, what are you doing here?’

‘Oh. Miss Selene showed up and is watching the shop, so I am getting my fitting out of the way.’

‘That is good. Just a piece of advice: don’t look in her notebook. Trust me.’

‘Okay.... Are you sure you’re fine?’

‘I-I just can’t look you in the eye for a while.’

‘Okay...’

‘See you around!’ The Wandering Physicist says trotting away. Since he is not looking at Lucas, he runs straight into another pony.

Back at The Power Block, The Wandering Physicist finds a midnight blue pegasus sitting at the counter messing around on the computer. He enters the shop and crosses to his office. The pegasus smiles broadly at him. When he returns, he sits by the pegasus and rests his head on her shoulder.

‘Hey cuddles!’ Selene greets.

‘Can you send Rarity to the moon or sun or something?’

‘There, there. What did she do?’

The Wandering Physicist looks towards the 18+ section then back to the shop. ‘I found her notebook.’

Selene giggles. ‘Was everything to the right scale?’

‘I am so telling your sister on you.’ The Wandering Physicist looks over and gives Selene a kiss on the cheek. ‘What brings you here in disguise?’

The pegasus sighs. ‘I have official business in Trottingham. I just wanted to stop by to say “hi”. My guards are waiting outside of town for me.’

‘Thanks for coming by, and thanks for last night too.’

‘Did Twilight come by?’

‘Yep, but Fluttershy brought breakfast.’ The Wandering Physicist drools a little. ‘Waffles...’

‘Yet another combatant on the battlefield...’ Selene gets up. ‘Anyway, I should be going since you are back.’

Selene gives The Wandering Physicist a kiss on the cheek and leaves the shop.

Lucas has returned to the shop. He and The Wandering Physicist are both looking at the ceiling and in different directions.

‘You’re fired.’

‘What did I do?’

‘You looked in the notebook.’

‘Shut up.’

The Wandering Physicist moans. ‘I feel like I went from the Harem End to the Bad End.’

‘I never even got to set a flag with Rei.’

The Wandering Physicist thinks for a moment what it would be like to have Lucas as a son-in-law, and he approves. The pair sigh. There is a pause between them.

‘So... did she ask you to...’

‘Yep.’

‘Did y...’

‘Nope!’

‘Did she mention...’

‘Eeyup.’

‘Are you off apples, too?’

‘Most definitely.’

The pair sigh again. There is another pause.

‘Want to close shop early so we can get ready for the show?’

Lucas taps on the door as he quickly leaves the store. The Wandering Physicist locks the door with his sonic then heads upstairs.

Hours pass, things happen and The Wandering Physicist ends up at one of the many parties after Rarity’s fashion show. He is camping in a secluded area, just trying not to get noticed too much. He wishes Octavia would find him again so he could have somepony to talk to and tease. He moans and tries balancing his soda on his nose. There is a bright flash. The Wandering Physicist looks around to see a pony with a camera wearing a press badge.

‘Looks like you’re enjoying the party,’ The pony comments as he checks the quality of the picture.

‘It’s just soda and I am bored.’

‘The guest of honor? Bored?’ The pony nods around him. ‘This should all be for you, man! Get out there and live a little.’

‘Hmm.... No thanks. I’d call it a early night, too, but I promised a friend I’d stick around.’

‘The pink one, the white one or Rarity?’

‘Ya stalking me or something? I know the security.’ The Wandering Physicist nods towards a large, red earth pony standing by the door.

‘Sorry. Just very observant.’ The pony sits down. ‘In fact, I have been observing you for a while.’

‘Right. Stalker.’

‘I am with the press, and I know a story when I see it.’

‘And I am a story?’

‘According to my research, you pretty much came to Ponyville out of nowhere, bought your store and embedded yourself in the community. I even noticed that you recently returned from Canterlot where you stayed at the royal palace itself. Nopony really knows who you are or where you come from.’

The Wandering Physicist sets down his drink and glares at the so-called reporter. He calmly gets out his mobile and starts going through some files.

‘Out of nowhere? Really?’ The Wandering Physicist starts showing his files. ‘Lease agreement for when I spent a few months in Neighpon. Here is the ticket for my trips to and from there too. My apartment in Canida when I worked QA for Ubisoft. My W2 with them as well. And.... various rental agreements from my years in Southern Coltifornia. All with the same name and information for my store here in Ponyville. Apparently, your research isn’t as good as you think.’

‘Would you mind providing physical records for me?’

‘Only if you have a court order and a real press pass.’

‘I am real press.’

‘That is last year’s EqD press badge. You can tell because they changed their hologram slightly and added a QR to take you straight to the reporter’s or photographer’s archives. Is that enough proof or do you want me to call foul?’

The pony laughs. ‘You’re a smart one. Fine. I give up. Enjoy the rest of the party.’

The false reporter walks off, possibly to find his next victim. Lucas finds his boss and comes over.

‘Who was that?’ Lucas asks.

‘Trouble.’ The Wandering Physicist presses a button on his mobile. ‘I sent out his photo and our exchange to everypony. We’ll have to keep our eye out for him.’

The next day, The Wandering Physicist and Lucas are back at work. The shop owner is showing off a Super Neightendo to some colts while his assistant works at the computer. The Wandering Physicist finishes his demo as the colts have to leave. He goes over to the main counter.

‘Great seeing the kids take an interest in the classics.’

‘We might have a problem,’ Lucas says. He turns the monitor so his boss can see. ‘Check it out. He works for Rupert Murloc.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Duh. I should have known. At least we have him on the community watch list.’

‘I am forwarding this along right now.’

A commotion is heard outside. The gamers look out to see Twilight Sparkle and her assistant Spike approaching. Spike appears to be carrying a brick.

‘Spike! Calm down! It was just a stupid story! It is not even true!’ Twilight pleads.

‘This is for Rarity! It is a matter of honor!’ Spike replies.

Spike throws the brick, but Twilight catches it with her magic. The Wandering Physicist and Lucas come out of the store.

‘What’s up?’ the Wandering Physicist asks.

‘You’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’ is what is up!’ Spike says as he charges The Wandering Physicist.

The baby dragon is stopped as the stallion holds him at leg’s length. He looks from the dragon to Twilight and shrugs.

‘Here.’ Twilight levitates over a newspaper. She opens it for The Wandering Physicist and Lucas to read. ‘For some reason, Spike likes to read that tabloid tripe. There is a very... frustrating article in this issue.’

‘The Casanova of Ponyville,’ Lucas reads. ‘Got a pretty good picture of you in here, boss.’

‘From what I can tell,’ Twilight begins, ‘it is mostly speculation about so-called “late night rendezvous” that were really pretty innocent events. It has stuff like our getting together to play games with Selene, Rarity taking you out as payment for watching Sweetie Belle, our trip to Canterlot and your “imprisonment” while there.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘That was fun.’ Twilight growls. ‘Hmm. Looks like that is the pony who harassed me at the party last night. No wonder he seemed keen on goading me into doing something.’

‘He harassed you at one of the parties? Isn’t that illegal?’ Twilight asks.

‘Meh. It would be my word against his. I should have just asked Big Mac to take him out back.’

‘Maybe you can get him to print a retraction,’ Lucas suggests.

‘We’re talking tabloid here. I doubt “retraction” is in their vocabulary,’ The Wandering Physicist says. ‘Besides, I am not known for being the most diplomatic pony when I am irked.’

‘We should at least do something,’ Twilight says. ‘He does say some pretty nasty things about all of us. I can have everypony at the library in a moment so we can discuss this.’

‘Do we have to?’ The Wandering Physicist moans.

‘We’re going now,’ Twilight states as she turn back to leave.

Spike snorts a bit of flame at The Wandering Physicist and runs after Twilight. The stallion moans again and follows too. Lucas makes a sound of a whip cracking.

‘You’re fired.’

‘I’ll be in the store.’

‘Mr Wanderer, we’re losing you!’ Twilight calls back.

A small group has gathered at Twilight’s library. Of all of the ponies named in the tabloid, only Rarity and Fluttershy were available. Rainbow Dash, Derpy Hooves, and Selene are nowhere to be found, and Octavia is hungover at Vinyl Scratch’s place. Rarity is the only other pony in the group who has seen the article. Fluttershy is reading it and getting redder and redder as she goes on.

‘This simply cannot stand! That ruffian must stand for his crime! And to think he made it past security,’ Rarity rants as she paces around the library.

‘We just have to organize a formal complaint. I am sure his editor will listen to us in a reasonable manner,’ Twilight suggests.

‘Darling, you obviously have no experience working with unruly members of the press. They only respond to action!’

‘I could go back and find his father. I have plenty of relatively harmless radioactive isotopes that would leave him sterile,’ The Treacherous Physicist suggests.

‘What! Are you suggesting that we kill him?’

‘No. Nothing of the sort. He would just be erased from existence, and we’d all be having tea and biscuits right now instead.’

‘I don’t think that is the answer...’ Fluttershy says.

‘Thank you, Fluttershy.’

‘Well, can we have tea and biscuits anyway? I skipped lunch.’

Twilight groans.

‘Fluttershy, seriously. This is your big chance to get back at all of the tabloid paparazzi that harassed you during your modeling career. We’d get a chance to teach them not to mess with you,’ Rarity begs.

‘I don’t think that is a good idea...’ Fluttershy tries avoiding eye contact with her friend.

‘Are you kidding me! They treated you like some sort of object back then, and this article makes us look like some kind of common tramp.’

‘Please stop yelling at me,’ Fluttershy squeaks.

Rarity snorts and starts pacing again. ‘Me! The beautiful Rarity! Equated to the common streetwalkers that normally grace those pages.’

‘Uh, Rarity, you are not the only...’ Twilight starts.

‘I mean, I am too much a lady of class and elegance to be on the same pages as that gutter trash. My clients will see that and think I am just some sort of floozy slut! My career is ruined!’

‘Rarity!’ Twilight snaps. ‘Think real hard. There are other ponies mentioned in there besides you. Do you want to choose those words when you make only it about you?’

Rarity just stares back at Twilight. ‘A lady never goes back on what she says. I wouldn’t want to end up like those stinky ingrates that are camped out at that park. Hmpf! They are just being ungrateful.’

‘So first you insult your friends, then you make fun of ponies asking for real change. Really showing your Element of Generosity there.’

‘Don’t tell me you are on their side. They are a nuisance.’

‘They have a legitimate grievance. They just want to hold the right ponies responsible for the financial crisis and even the playing field so we don’t have to pay for the luxuries of the rich and nobility.’

‘Hmpf. I should have expected as much coming from you, seeing how you live in a tree, or don’t you think I recognize the leader of Occupy Ponyville, Twinkle Dusk.’

‘Geez, Rarity. I would have expected better from you, Miss Generosity.’

‘I will not stand here and be insulted.’ Rarity turns and starts leaving. ‘Come along, Fluttershy.’

‘I live in a tree too,’ Fluttershy glares.

Rarity is taken aback. She turns her nose up at her friends and marches out. Twilight and Fluttershy look like they want to scream.

‘The nerve of her!’ Twilight fumes.

‘With all of her “attention to detail”, she failed to notice that I am Twinkle Dusk.’ Fluttershy huffs.

‘That is you?‘

Fluttershy is instantly timid again. ‘Uh... yeah...’

‘That is so cool! I love the work you have been doing to organize everything!’

‘Uh... Thanks... Please don’t tell anypony...’

‘Double Pinkie Pie Swear All the Way Across the Sky!’ Twilight swears.

‘What does it mean?’

Both of the mares suddenly realize that The Wandering Physicist has seen this whole episode. He stares at the two of them.

‘If you were dressed as Zero Suit Samus,’ The Wandering Physicist nods to Twilight, ‘ and you were dressed as Aerith,’ he nods to Fluttershy, ‘that would be be the only way I could possibly be more attracted to the two of you right now.’

Both of the mares blush deeply.

‘Geez. Y-y-you’re a pervert.’ Twilight stutters.

‘You think I am that pretty?’ Fluttershy says in a barely audible volume.

The Wandering Physicist just smiles back at both of the mares.

‘Anyway...’ Twilight says, hoping to steer the conversation back to the original topic, ‘what should we do about the article?’

‘I believe Fluttershy had an idea before the fun started.’

Fluttershy looks away. ‘Well.... It is not that good of an idea... but...’

The Wandering Physicist is talking on his mobile. Twilight and Fluttershy watch and listen to the conversation.

‘Great! Excellent. I can’t wait to work with you. Thank you very much.’ The Wandering Physicist hangs up and turns to the others. ‘That was none other than Seth himself. He likes the idea, and the local Ponyville editor will be in touch with me.’

‘Awesome!’ Fluttershy beams.

‘That was a very good idea, Fluttershy,’ Twilight congratulates. ‘I hope it works.’

The Wandering Physicist checks his mobile. ‘Given circulation and pageviews, I am pretty sure it will.’ He stretches a bit. ‘I should be getting back to the shop. It has been a long day.’

‘Yes, and I need to get back to my animals,’ Fluttershy adds.

‘All right. Glad we were able to come up with something. Um... Sorry about losing it earlier,’ Twilight apologizes.

The Wandering Physicist puts a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. ‘Friends are allowed to have political differences. It is just in how they deal with them.’

‘I know, but...’

‘Don’t trust whitey.’

Twilight has a bit of a tic then sighs. ‘I see what you mean. I’ll do my best to make peace.’

‘That is all I ask.’

The Wandering Physicist and Fluttershy bow to their friend and leave. Outside, they start to head their opposite directions.

‘Um...’ Fluttershy mumbles.

‘Yes?’

‘Do you really think I am as pretty as Aerith?’ the nervous mare whispers.

The Wandering Physicist just smiles back at his friend and winks. Fluttershy smiles too. They split and head back to their homes.

A scream is heard across Ponyville: ‘HE THINKS I AM THAT PRETTY!’ The Wandering Physicist just smiles as a yellow blur does aerial feats that would put Rainbow Dash to shame.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wandering Physicist is sitting in his office. His desk has been moved out of the way and a light brown earth pony mare with a short brown mane and glasses is sitting across from him. Both of them adjust their mics that are hanging around their necks.
TWP: Whole thing is going to be free online, right? Creative commons and all of that?
RM: Always. That is how we do business.
TWP: Awesome. No wonder I love you guys.

The mare gets a signal from behind the camera.
RM: Oh. We’re on. Turns to the camera. I am Rachel Meadow with Equestria Daily’s Ponyville branch. I am here with The Wandering Physicist of The Power Block, Ponyville’s sole video game shop. He is the subject of this week’s Local Voices segment where we feature community leaders from around Equestria. Turns to The Wandering Physicist. It is so good to have you on. I have been wanting this since your festival last month.
TWP: Better late than never. I am honored to be on.
RM: I am honored to have you. I’m going to start with some background before we get into the real meat.
TWP: Sounds fun.
RM: So to start, what is up with the name?
TWP: Laughs. Doesn’t quite fit with the profession, huh? Meadow nods her head. Well, I am a trained physicist with PhDs in cosmology, temporal mechanics and quantum dynamics. Meadow looks shocked. As for the wandering part, I spent most of my time after getting my degrees seeing as much of Equestria as I could. I’ve been to a number of neighboring nations as well. But since I came to Ponyville, I felt at home. Meadow is still agape. But as you can probably tell, my cutie mark is very gaming related, and that is where I find myself always returning.
RM: Well, uh, that is very informative.
TWP: Sorry. I tend to ramble.
RM: It’s fine. Looks over her notes. So we have origins down... Ah! I haven’t really had an update from Marvel, but it was really fun. Is another one in the works?
TWP: Laughs. Great question. Short answer is yes. The long answer is that we will work on another one when there is time.
RM: Hmm?
TWP: Well, we have the holiday season followed by post-holiday season. Then, there are all sorts of cons and shows all of us want to go to. Marvel and DC mentioned wanting a bigger role as has Kaeko. I am more than willing to scale back my part. Rip has some connections, but we still would need time to book more acts. It was just pure luck that we got Colton. But, I am sure we will have another one sometime.
RM: Excellent. I will definitely cover it.
TWP: We like getting good press from good pressponies.
RM: After the festival, you personally made a bit of a name for yourself. That was followed by your very unique hiring process. I myself gave it a look and thought the questions you asked on the application were very interesting. You seem to have gotten a pretty positive reputation in town. Were you aware of that?
TWP: A couple days ago, my assistant had to kick me out of the store since I tend to coop myself up. I honestly don’t know where the goodwill comes from, but I appreciate it. I don’t really have an ear open for that sort of talk.
RM: I am surprised you were not aware. We conducted a secret poll, knowing you are a fan of us, to see what others thought of you.
TWP: Yeah. Ruby left me a note in the script telling me not to peek. Meadow looks shocked. I didn’t, so no worries. Looks at the camera. Try again, Ruby!
RM: According to our results, more than seventy percent of the town has heard of you and almost all of them have a favorable opinion of you.
TWP: Yeah... I can think of a few that might be a bit put off. A certain dark orange pegasus for one. And Cheerilee after I helped out with a book reading...
RM: What happened there?
TWP: Let’s just say, I read the right story, but I told the wrong one. Looks at the camera. If you’re watching, I would love to make it up somehow.
RM: Yes, we found that you do have a reputation for being a troublemaker too. There was an event not too long ago at Night Court...
TWP: Laughs. That was fun. Laughs again.
RM: I really have to know why you did that.
TWP: It is a long and complicated story. Pauses. Private one, too. Pauses. Oh, and the rumor of Nightmare Moon’s reappearance are false. Very close to true, but false.
RM: Laughs. And if the princess is watching this?
TWP: Grins. We’ve worked it out already.We’re cool.
RM: Interesting. Checks through her notes. Give me a moment... Let’s see... Ah! I hope you don’t mind getting political for a bit, but you have been seen associating with the Occupy movement here in Ponyville. You are one of the few community figures to really show open support for it.
TWP: I am just doing what I feel is right. Every voice should be allowed to be heard. This feels like the right voice. Given your reporting, I think you would agree with me.
RM: That is true... Have you considered organizing like-minded community and business members to support the protests?
TWP: I think that is a bit of a leading question...
RM: I am sorry. I withdraw it.
TWP: Even though I support the group, I refuse to try an coerce any of my friends. If they are at all interested, I recommend reading what “Twinkle Dusk” has written on the subject. That pony makes some good arguments on why we should support the movement.
RM: That is good reading for those interested. Weighs all of the pros and cons quite well. Checks her notes. You have also made some interesting arguments on your blog about various subjects. Would you mind going over some of them?
TWP: Shoot.
RM: You have made statements along the line that Princess Celestia is not entirely truthful with her subjects.
TWP: Shrugs. Simple deduction. The whole Nightmare Moon incident a while, back for example. Before then, it was not open knowledge that the myths were true, the true age of our rulers and that Princess Luna even existed. Masking over a thousand years of history as myth is not just misleading but plain rude. Pause. Oh. And don’t get me started on Discord.
RM: It is all there on your site... Finds her next note. You also have some pretty interesting words on the gaming industry. Not to mention really harsh words about technology policy.
TWP: Laughs. At this rate, you’re going to have a lot of links in the show notes.
RM: Reading her notes. I think you’re right. Now... I have one last question. Probably the one question most of our viewers tuned in to hear. It seems you got a bit of unusual press in a... ‘less than reputable’ paper recently.
TWP: Ugh... I think I know what you are going to ask.
RM: Laughs. Since you seem to know, you know I am not asking for myself.
TWP: Sighs. I know.
RM: So... are you single?
TWP: I hope I can answer this without getting too flayed... The easy answer is that I have a lot of very close female friends, none of who I would trade for anything in the world. If I were to choose one...
RM: That doesn’t really answer the question.
TWP: I am afraid that question cannot really be answered at this time. ... Not without that being the last question I ever answer.
RM: Laughs. So at least they got the headline correct.
TWP: Sighs. The only thing they got correct...
RM: Laughs. Thank you for your time. This has be a blast.
TWP: Have to do it again sometime.

Meadow and The Wandering Physicist shake hooves.
RM: Turns to the camera. To learn more about our guest or visit his website, check out the show notes. Thank you for watching.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wandering Physicist removes the microphone and lets out a big breath. The camerapony starts packing away his equipment. Meadow leans over.

‘I really mean it. You are fun to chat with,’ She says.

‘Well, you know where to find me,’ The Wandering Physicist replies. ‘Keep up your great work. I love your reporting.’

‘Thank you.’

The Wandering Physicist looks around the room. Off to one side, Twilight is watching. She looks like she has something on her mind but is trying to be impassive about it. Outside, various customers are looking into the office. Lucas is at the counter. He and the customers watching give The Wandering Physicist positive reactions. The journalists finish packing up and returning the office to normal. The Wandering Physicist and Meadow give one last brohoof as she leaves. They close the door, leaving the stallion alone with Twilight.

‘Now,’ The Wandering Physicist starts, ‘if you weren’t satisfied with that answer, I have something in the TARDIS that will explain why I said what I did.’

The stallion heads towards the door, but Twilight cuts him off.

‘I’ll go with you.’ She smiles. ‘I wouldn’t want you running off.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs and sits down. ‘You know the walls are relatively soundproof. I can take it.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘No, but I’m not going to stop you.’

‘I just want to know one thing. Who was that pony giving the interview?’

‘Come again?’

‘You were courteous, not snide. You avoided long and rambling rants about minutia. You completely ignored a perfect chance to argue for the things you believe and dodged most of the Celestia question. Not to mention, you stared at her mane way too much. You were not yourself.’

‘Twilight, have you ever given an interview to the press?’

‘No, but I was always had the marks in public speaking.’

‘Okay. Imagine your first time speaking in public but instead of a self-introduction to all of your friends or future friends, you have to sell countless strangers on the fact that you are not completely loony and they totally need to convert to your religion that involves ingesting live parasprites.’

‘Well... but...’

‘Politics is all about making crazy seem normal. Once they are used to normal, give them crazy and they will call it normal.‘

Twilight thinks. ‘Are you writing a blog entry right now?’

The Wandering Physicist hides his mobile. ‘Maybe.’

Twilight laughs. ‘Come on. I’ll take you to dinner. My treat.’

‘If you don’t mind, I would like to bring Fluttershy too since it was her idea. She would probably like to know how it went.’

‘I thought she was in...’ Twilight scans the room. ‘Where did she go?’

‘She hid upstairs as soon as ponies started coming into the store.’

‘She knew that was going to be here, right?’

‘Yep.’

‘And that you were going to be open still, right?’

‘Yep.’

Twilight sighs. ‘Let’s go get her.’

The Wandering Physicist starts going for the door, but Twilight holds it closed.

‘If you were to choose one?’

‘I, uh, left my answer in the TARDIS. Let me get it. Alone.’

Twilight groans and lets him exit the room. They head upstairs to get Fluttershy.

The Wandering Physicist is heading back to the store. He is in a pretty good mood after getting treated to dinner by Twilight. They and Fluttershy spent the whole time talking about the interview and speculating on the outcome. Then the emails started pouring in. A quick script or two allows them to sort the emails between legitimate comments and inquiries about who the fillyfriends could be. Both Twilight and Fluttershy turned bright red after seeing some of the emails. The Wandering Physicist is a little worried about everypony knowing about him now, but he does not care since he is feeling pretty... Is that a rainbow tail sticking out from behind a crate?

The Wandering Physicist knows how to handle potential pranksters. He finds a hanging pot over the crate, draws his sonic, takes aim and CRASH!

‘Sneak attack hug!’ is screamed into The Wandering Physicist’s ears as something crashes on top of him.

From behind her cover, Rainbow Dash is rolling with laughter. The Wandering Physicist gasps for air as a white pegasus strangles him in a hug.

‘Oh man! We got you good!’ Rainbow Dash laughs.

‘Did ya miss me!’ Rei sings into The Wandering Physicist’s ears.

‘Deaf! Air! Dying!’ The Wandering Physicist croaks.

‘Oops!’

Rei lets The Wandering Physicist up. Rainbow Dash comes out of hiding.

‘Oh man! She has that “night cloak” thing, and you didn’t see her! You should have seen your face! It was all “ack!” ’ Rainbow Dash mocks.

‘Miss Dash, where were you? We’ve been looking for you for the past few days,’ The Wandering Physicist forces out between breaths.

‘Oh yeah. That.’ Rainbow Dash looks sheepish. ‘Well, the princesses called me up for a special mission. I guess I sort of forgot to tell anypony.’

‘She was showing me around Equestria,’ Rei adds. ‘It was really fun!’

‘So you ignored all of our calls and messages for days?’

‘Uh...’

‘Hey!’ Rei interrupts. ‘She was working for the princesses and helping me. Don’t you give her any lip about ignoring you!’ She huffs and poses a little. ‘She had more important things to do.’

‘I’m sorry, Miss Dash,’ The Wandering Physicist apologizes. ‘We just had a few busy days.’

‘It’s all good,’ Rainbow Dash says. ‘We all saw the lie sheet and watched your interview.’ She pulls The Wandering Physicist aside. ‘If you could choose one, it is Twi, right?’

The Wandering Physicist breaks free of Rainbow Dash. He turns to Rei. ‘Welcome back. I hope our universe is treating you well.’

‘I am having fun. So wanna know why I am back? Do ya?’ Rei replies.

‘Shoot.’

‘I am going to be watching you!’

‘What?’

‘Well, after I was done reporting to the princesses, they said I could go anywhere and do anything for them.’ Rei explains. ‘Since my Luna said that you would help me, I chose to come back to be with you.’

‘Yeah, and after that huge flap with that trashy article, Luna sent her a message telling her to keep an eye on you for her. She’s like Twilight but instead of friendship, she is reporting on you.’

The Wandering Physicist facehoofs and swears a lot under his breath. He looks up at Rei. ‘You don’t have some crazy OCD, do you?’

‘Uh... no?’

‘Dude. She only did that once. Once!’ Rainbow Dash interjects.

‘Very well. Lucas will be glad to see you again.’ The Wandering Physicist turns to Rainbow Dash. ‘Great to see you again. Better check in with Twilight and the others before you head back to your house.’

‘Will do! See ya ‘round!’ Rainbow Dash flies off.

Rei hops on The Wandering Physicist’s back. ‘Ponyback ride home!’ She points the way.

The Wandering Physicist moans and starts carrying his passenger back home. He sighs as his problems with ponies reporting on him continue.

Author's Note

Story Event: This is the last time that real world politics play a role in the plot. It is also when Rei becomes a permanent part of the cast. This is the first appearance of Rarity's notebooks.

Though I had them fight, I never intended Rarity and Twilight to break their friendship. It is stupid for friends to ruin a wonderful friendship over petty political squabbles.

Also, if he could choose one... It becomes pretty clear.

Our Party

Main Characters: TWP, Pinkie, The Doctor (10), Twilight, Lucas, Rei
Cameos: Luna/Selene, Mrs Cake, Fluttershy, Rarity, Dream Maker, Coal, Rip, Ruby Dart, Vinyl, Octavia, Derpy, Kaeko, Marvel Crystal, Oatmeal
Original Write Date: November 1, 2011

The Wandering Physicist tries to work the counter at The Power Block. Ever since Rei joined the staff, the store feels a lot more cluttered. Thankfully, she is young and easily distracted by simple errands carefully crafted to take the several hours they usually ended up taking. Unfortunately, it is another energetic pony that is distracting The Wandering Physicist today.

‘Mr Hayate Wanderer James! Guess what!’ Pinkie Pie chirps as she bounces next to the counter.

‘You found a new way to rearrange my pseudonyms?’

‘No, silly. There are only six ways to do that, and I used all of those already. It is something more superly awesomely better than that.’

‘Did you find a penny?’

Pinkie gasps. ‘No! But that would be great too!’

‘What then?’

‘It is almost your birthday!’ Pinkie shouts. Somehow streamers and confetti shoot out from around her.

‘Yes. It is.’ The Wandering Physicist sighs.

Pinkie frowns. ‘Aren’t you excited? I mean, it is your birthday.’

‘Meh.’

‘Is it because you are so old?’

‘Age has nothing to do with it. I just feel “meh” around my birthdays.’

‘But you get presents and a cake and,’ she poses dramatically, especially for Pinkie, ‘A PARTY!’

Somehow even more streamers and confetti shoot from nowhere. Lucas growls and goes to the back of the shop to get a broom.

‘I don’t really want a party.’

Pinkie’s jaw literally drops to the ground. ‘No party!’

‘I’m just not a party pony.’ Pinkie nearly has a heart attack. ‘I prefer a nice, small get-together with my friends where we can just hang out and play games and stuff. Ya know, something simple.’

Pinkie is shocked. ‘W-well, that doesn’t mean I can’t still throw you a party you’d like with a cake and treats and candy.’

‘I don’t eat candy.’

The statement is too much for Pinkie. Her mane loses all bounce and falls flat. Her face contorts horrifically. She starts twitching and foams at the mouth a bit, then falls over.

‘Oh crap. Lucas! Call a medic!’
…

Pinkie awakes to the sound of a EKG. She looks around to see EMTs and The Panicked Physicist looking over her.

‘Wha, what happened?’ Pinkie stutters.

‘Best we can tell is that you had a stroke,’ an EMT answers. ‘We’ll have to take you back to the hospital to run some tests.’

‘Last thing I remember was you saying you don’t like candy.’

‘Oh no,’ The Wandering Physicist corrects. ‘I like it fine. I am just not too much of a fan of solid sugars. That is why I don’t eat candy.’

A loud, steady beep is heard as Pinkie’s EKG flatlines again.

Pinkie once again awakes to the sound of her EKG. This time, she is not in the shop but in a bed, and there is an oxygen mask over her face. She moans and tries moving, but she can only turn her head enough to see The Concerned Physicist sitting next to her.

‘Shh. You’re fine. You’re at the hospital. Everything is fine now.’

‘What happened?’

‘The doctors thought you came down with a slight case of death, but what do they know? A little Time Lord medicine, and you’re as good as new. I mean, you only had one heart to reboot.’

The Wandering Physicist smiles. Pinkie just stares back.

‘How...’ She starts.

‘Shock would be my guess.’ The Wandering Physicist runs a hoof through Pinkie’s still-deflated mane. ‘I must have an outlook that is too different than yours.’

Pinkie removes the oxygen. ‘But I was able handle The Grand Galloping Gala fine, and those ponies are stuck-up jerks.’

‘Yeah, but they are not me.’ Pinkie looks confused. ‘See, those ponies still came to the party, so at some level there was a connection between you and them, even if the lines are crossed. Me... I’m... Let’s just say that Twilight could probably explain it better.’

‘What about your party?’

The Wandering Physicist smiles. ‘If you really want to throw me one, I am sure it will be perfect no matter what you do.’ He kisses Pinkie on the forehead. ‘Now, get some rest. Lucas and Rei have distracted the doctors long enough.’

The Wandering Physicist gives Pinkie one last smile and slips out of the room. Pinkie watches him go. She sighs and stares at the ceiling.

Back at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie is pacing in her room. The doctors discharged her after all of her tests came back clear. Pinkie immediately went home and locked herself in her room to ponder the recent events. She is currently consulting with her most trusted general, Gummy. The small alligator just stares blankly at his owner as she goes back and forth in front of him.

‘What is it with him? He is just so... Arg! Why can’t I stop thinking about him? What pony doesn’t like a party! Or candy! He is just so... frustrating!’

Pinkie stomps her hooves on the floor. Gummy just blinks one eye at a time and creaks his mouth open a little.

‘You’re right! This does call for a closer inspection! I must stalk my prey to find out everything about him I can and then we’ll see who has the last laugh!’

There is a knock on the door. Pinkie answers it to see Cup Cake standing there.

‘Pinkie, would you mind keeping it down? It is really late, and you had a pretty stressful day.’

‘I am sorry, Mrs Cake. I’ll be quieter.’

‘Thanks.’ Cup Cake turns to leave. ‘Oh, and Carrot and I think it is really sweet to see you found a colt that you are smitten with.’

‘What? I am not smitten with him. I am just obsessed with every fiber of his very being.’

Cup Cake laughs. ‘Oh, you sound just like Carrot and me at your age.’ She keeps laughing as she leaves the room.

Pinkie looks confused as she returns to her room. ‘What did she mean by that?’

Gummy just tilts his head to the side.

‘You’re right! I almost forgot that we have some spying to do.’ Pinkie makes a real sneaky face. ‘Real quiet like.’ She starts laughing evilly.

There is a loud thump on the floor. ‘Shut up!’ is shouted up. Pinkie hides from the loud sound and keeps laughing, only quieter.

The Wandering Physicist is entering some data into his computer. He looks away to get the next set of numbers. When he turns back, there is a wall of long pink hair hanging in front of the screen. He looks up to see Pinkie and Gummy hanging from the ceiling. They are wearing all black and have trioculars over their faces. He screams and runs away.

‘Drat! He found us.’

There is a thump next to Pinkie. She looks over and sees Rei standing next to her upside down.

‘Hi! This is fun!’

Pinkie screams and drops from the ceiling.

The Wandering Physicist is in the stockroom doing inventory. He is making notes in his Chromebook as he goes from box to box. Suddenly, he comes across a box he does not recognize. It has ‘Orange’ written across it in big letters. Nothing happens when he gives it a tap so he opens it very cautiously. Inside, Pinkie looks up at him. She and Gummy are wearing stealth suits and bandanas and are sitting in the box. A literal exclamation point appears over her head and the alert sound from Metal Gear Solid is heard. The Wandering Physicist just closes the box and walks away.

‘Lucas! You’re on inventory or you’re fired again!’

The Wandering Physicist is heading back to The Power Block after a visit to Neighponese Imports. He is giggling at a manga he has in his hoof. He looks up at his store as he nears it. Pinkie is crouching above the door, wearing a white cloak. The Wandering Physicist turns and walks away, wondering what Twilight or Fluttershy are doing for dinner.

Pinkie is back in her room. She is digging through her closet.

‘How does he do it?’ She complains to Gummy. ‘How does he see through my disguises? Ah! He’ll never spot me in this!’

Pinkie goes into her closet to get dressed. There is a knock on her door. Cup Cake looks in then enters.

‘Pinkie...?’

‘In here, Mrs Cake!’

‘Um, what are you...’ Pinkie comes out of her closet in her new disguise. ‘Oh. You are Batmare now.’

‘Not subtle enough?’ Pinkie asks.

‘Oh yes. Very subtle.’

‘Great! I don’t know when I’ll be back. Toodles!’

Pinkie goes to the window and starts climbing out. Cup Cake catches Pinkie before she fully exits.

‘Pinkie, I think you are going about this the wrong way.’

‘But, if I go out the front door, ponies will see me, and how else am I going to find out anything about James Hayate Wanderer?’

‘Who?’ The older mare shakes her head. ‘Never mind. Have you just tried talking to this stallion you are, uh, seeing?’ And by seeing I mean stalking.

‘Uh, duh. And that put me in the hospital. Do you want me to take that risk again?’

‘Well, no.. but...’

‘Good. Now will you let go? You are close to activating my Bat Shark Repellent.’

‘How about instead of asking him you ask his friends about your James Haya-whatever?’

Pinkie climbs back into the building. She thinks for a moment. ‘That is just crazy enough to work!’

Or just sane enough for you to think it is crazy. Cup Cake thinks.

‘Thank you, Mrs Cake! You are the bestest at giving super advice!’

‘Anytime dear. You ca... should always come to me first.’ Cup Cake sighs as she is leaving. ‘Don’t forget to comb your mane. It could get messy if you keep it straight like that.’

Pinkie sits on her bed and thinks. She gets out a batarang and starts throwing it around the room and back to herself.

‘Hmm.... Who should I ask first?’

Gummy catches the batarang on one of its loops around the room.

Pinkie sits in Lucas’ apartment. It is filled with anime and Neighponese merchandise. Lucas sits across from the mare.

‘You want to know about Boss, eh?’ Lucas thinks. ‘Well, you know he is a Time Lord. He is very odd but fun. He is a little particular about the way things are done, but I guess that is to be understood.’

‘But what about him? What does he like?’ Pinkie asks.

‘Like? I don’t know. Normal nerd stuff. Gaming, obviously. He seems to enjoy just messing around on his computer all day. That is what he tends to do when Rei and I are running the store. Well, that or play games with the customers.’

‘And he is happy just being left alone like that?‘

‘I don’t think he is alone. He is active on his favorite social networks, and he comes out when he gets bored.’

‘Hmm....’

‘If you really want the scoop, Twilight probably knows him better than anypony.’

Rei is flying upside down as she thinks. Pinkie trots alongside the pegasus.

‘Mr Wanderer, eh? He’s a very good boss. It is almost as fun working for him as for Queen Luna.’

‘I meant, what is he like as a pony?’

Rei flips back to normal. ‘Oh. In that case... He likes big meals but almost never snacks. He isn’t the best talker while eating, but he is a pretty fun cook. He always make the best meals. Hey! Want to get something to eat? I am hungry for some reason.’

‘Since you mentioned it, does he have any favorite foods?’

‘Pineapple. Definitely pineapple. And potatoes. Pineapples, potatoes and pizza. The three Ps. ... Sushi too, but that is hard to get without “going out” for it. ... I mean use the...’

‘I get it.’

‘If you really want to know what he likes to eat, ask Twilight. They go out a lot.’ Rei flips upside down again. ‘By the way, I like your mane this way. Ever think of dying it grey?’

Pinkie is playing Zombie Dice with Dream Maker in his shop. Other patrons are watching the close game unfolding.

‘Plays a mean avenger, I’ll give him that. But I know that is not what you are asking. Let’s see.’

Dream makes his roll. He thinks about what he is going to say and his next move.

‘While he is very good solo, he prefers to stick with the party. He likes not being the center of attention. Built his whole character so that I couldn’t make campaigns about him easily.’

‘But that is his character. What about him?’

‘The thing about DnD... You put a bit of yourself in your characters. Like, I am sure you would make a good chaotic good bard. Very high charisma.’

‘Uh... thank you?’

‘Another thing, he likes playing with the same people more than finding new groups. Might be why he tries bringing Twilight when he can.’

Pinkie makes her roll. Dream and a number of the onlookers moan when they see she won the game.

Coal looks up from behind his book at the patron of his store. ‘Books on parties are in non-fiction,’ he says before returning to his book.

‘What? No. I asked you about Jimmy James Wanderer.’

‘What about him?’

‘What can you tell me about him?’

Coal thinks. ‘Very odd sense of humor. Very bad puns. Very annoying at times. … And no, I am not talking about you, Droll.’

Droll sulks and goes back to where he popped up.

‘Anything else?’

‘Tweets a lot. Seems a little lonely, but he also seems to enjoy it when I get one up on him.’

‘Lonely?’

‘Maybe a bit. He does pick up when Twilight and Fluttershy are on, though. Very social with them.’

The Chaos Theater is closed while the stage is being set up in the theater portion of the building. Rip Chord and Vinyl Scratch are guiding the workers. Pinkie is standing off to the side watching them.

‘Wanderer, eh? Very odd taste in music.’ Rip says.

‘How so?’

‘Well, he will listen to whatever I offer him, but he seems to like music more on a song-by-song basis than by groups or artists. Don’t get me wrong, he likes groups and artists, but he tends to pick one song from an album rather than a whole album.’

‘That says a lot,’ Vinyl adds.

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. Music is like people. All individual and all that. Each song is its own being with its own soul. It is pretty trippy to think about.’

‘So... if that analogy holds, then Mr Hayate likes individuals more than groups.’

‘Right on, sister!’ Vinyl grins at Pinkie.

‘Thanks... I think that helped.’

‘Cool. Hey, you’re looking seriously metal. Love it.’

Pinkie half smiles and chuckles as she leaves the shop.

Derpy is flying her mail route for the day. Pinkie is tagging alongside. Derpy seems lost in thought despite carrying a large number of packages on her back.

‘Chief is smart.’

‘I know that already.’

‘No, I mean real smart. Not fake smart like other ponies that like showing off their smarts, but Chief does too some times... so does The Doctor. Must be a species thing!’

Pinkie sighs.

‘You don’t get it?’

‘I guess not.’ Pinkie growls.

‘By real smart, I mean that he doesn’t use big word just to look smart or confuse anypony. Not to mention, his honesty. He says the right thing. For good or bad, it is right. Although, I think he tells Twilight more than he tells the rest of us.’

Pinkie stops to think then starts going back.

‘Why are you asking? Are you interested in him or something?’

Not hearing an answer, Derpy looks around. She does not find Pinkie so she just shrugs and goes back to her route.

Kaeko guards her wall of Neighponese snacks from Pinkie. She is even on her hind legs with wings fully extended for maximum coverage. Pinkie is desperately trying to see what is being hidden as she listens to Kaeko’s advice.

‘Wanderer-san? He is a very interesting one. I have never seen a stallion so devoted to cartoons for fillies before.’

‘Uh huh. That is great. Is that chocolate! No, I mean, but sort of thing does he li... What is Ranume?’

‘It is Ramune. Are you asking about his likes?’

‘Sure. Whatever. Is Pocky really as good as everypony says?’

‘Hmm... Interesting question. He does tend to go for a random assortment of series, but most do have one underlaying theme to them.’

Pinkie has a whole box of Pocky in her mouth. ‘Whith ith?’

‘How did you... Never mind. Wanderer-san enjoys stories with an underlying romantic tone or at least ones where close friendships are formed. I had to stop stocking Toradora! merchandise openly since he would constantly try to hug it.’

Pinkie tries talking while she finishes eating the Pocky.

‘Uh... Yes?’

Pinkie looks a little pensive then starts walking away.

‘Wait! I couldn’t understand you.’

‘It is okay. I think I know what the answer is anyway.’

Kaeko sighs and stands down her guard. She turns to find all of the candies and biscuits eaten from the shelf. ‘How the hell?’

Pinkie stands on the modeling stand in Rarity’s sewing room while her friend tries different patterns on her.

‘Hmm... I think with your current manestyle I’d go with darker colors... Avoid reds, though. They might make you look a little crazy.’

‘Uh, Rarity, what about my problem?’

‘Yes, Mr Wanderer. Trying to get into that head is like asking Fluttershy to express herself. It can be done, but you might not like the result.’

‘Well, I just want to throw him a party that will make him happy.’

‘In that case, know these two things. One, even if you are in charge and you have it at your place, he will still feel like a host and might not let himself go as much as you would hope. And two, he will be happy with whatever you do for him. It doesn’t have to be perfect.’

‘But it does have to be perfect! That is why I asked you for help in the first place!’

Rarity backs away a bit. ‘Maybe you should give it a rest a little. Just a smidgen.’

Pinkie sighs. ‘Whatever.’

Pinkie starts leaving the boutique.

‘Wait!’

‘Yes?’

‘Will Twilight be there?’

Recently, Rarity and Twilight had a bit of a falling out over political differences. After two failed attempts by both of them to honestly patch things up, they had resigned to not speaking to each for a short while and had just recently come back to relatively good terms.

Pinkie rolls her eyes and growls, ‘Uh duh! She is one of his best friends!’

Pinkie storms out of the shop.

‘Oh dear. I better warn the others that she is in a bad mood.’

Pinkie is slumped over a counter at another store. Next to her, a red earth pony with a blue mane is working the cash register.

‘Sorry kiddo,’ Marvel Crystal says. ‘I wish I could help more.’

‘It is fine.’ Pinkie moans.

‘It is not fine. If it were fine, you would be in the back reading a stack of comics and laughing like crazy like you always do when you come in here.’

‘I just don’t feel like it.’

‘Let me share a little secret. Stallions are simple creatures. You might be making it more complex than it is.’

‘But every time I try making it simple, it just gets more complicated.’

‘Okay. Here is a hint: he is a nerd. He likes nerdy things.’

‘I know that already.’

‘Then hint number two is, and I hope you don’t kill me for saying this but, look at why you smile all of the time. Remember what you told me about how you got your cutie mark.’

‘You want me to rebuild Equestria for his birthday?’

Marvel laughs. ‘Maybe not that far but as somepony who has been married for almost as long as your mentors, we would all say that a good first step is finding something in common.’

‘I’m finding too much... That’s the problem...’ Pinkie mumbles to herself s she trots away.

Ruby Dart is doing her best to ignore Pinkie’s attempts to use Fluttershy’s Stare on her. She just keeps trying to find a hardware problem in her client’s computer.

‘Will you stop doing that? If something goes wrong, I am charging you to pay for it.’

‘Just give me what I want and I’ll be gone.’

‘Okay, Miss Pie, I cannot hack into his search records and if I could, it would be illegal.’

Pinkie tries the Stare again.

‘Stop that! I am very busy.’

‘Not until you give me what I w....’ Pinkie’s tail shakes violently. ‘Twitch-a-twitch!’

‘Are you just faking to...’

A screw drops from a display case. Ruby barely dashes over to save a laptop from crashing to the ground.

‘I guess you are lucky I am here.’ Pinkie gloats.

‘Listen! I cannot tell you his search habits or any of his private business, but I can tell you that he likes things simple... if a little sloppy and seemingly disorganized. I can tell by his coding.’

‘I knew all of that already.’ Pinkie’s tail shakes again, and she rushes to catch the other end of the display.

‘If you are looking for something new, I am the wrong pony to ask,’ Ruby replies as she fixes the display. ‘Twilight or Lucas would be the ones to talk to. But if you want something they probably don’t know, ask The Doctor. He is the only one I see going in there as often as those two.’

‘Thank you!’ Pinkie’s ears flop over her face. ‘Um... I would avoid going outside for a while.’

‘Why?’

Pinkie looks at Ruby then leaves the store. She looks around the street then darts across right before Rei chases Droll past at high speeds.

‘Get back here and die, you insolent whelp!’

The Doctor is in a bit of a mess. He is in an alien jungle trying to unravel vines that are wrapped around him. He hears a noise and looks up to see Pinkie looking up at him. He is hanging upside down.

‘Hi!’

‘Oh, hello Pinkie. Lovely seeing you here.’

‘I need you to tell me about Mr Wanderer James Hayate.’

‘I’d love to Miss Pie but as you can see, I am in a bit of a bind.’ The Doctor struggles with the vines for a moment. ‘Would you mind giving me my sonic? It should be somewhere at your hooves.’

Pinkie looks around and finds the sonic. She lifts it up to him, and he takes it in his mouth.

‘Mow Pinfie. Whak wou’d ‘ou ‘ike to gnow?’

Pinkie sighs, takes a deep breath and says, ‘I am trying to throw him a party for his birthday, but he didn’t seem too thrilled with the idea of a super awesomely classic Pinkie Pie party, so I am trying to find out what sort of party he would like, but I keep asking everypony what they know about him, and they keep bringing me to very meany not nice feelings that I don’t want to feel even though I am getting a pretty good idea of what sort of party he would enjoy, and I really want to know something about him that would make him genuinely smile, and everypony keeps saying ask Twilight or Fluttershy, but I get really jealous when I think about them for some reason, and so you are my last hope!’

Pinkie finally stops for a breath. The Doctor activates his sonic and drops to the ground. He brushes the dirt off his overcoat as he stands up.

‘Well, that is simple, Pie. Just be yourself. He really enjoys when ponies are being honest with him, even if it is bad news.’

‘But... I am really myself... my true...’ Pinkie looks as if she is about to cry.

‘That is not the real you and you know it. And don’t worry about Twilight and Fluttershy. They will perfectly understand everything you are feeling.’ The Doctor gives Pinkie a comforting pat on the shoulder. ‘Hmm. I should write this one down for the next time I have to give it.’

‘Thank you, Doctor. I think I am finally ready to see my friends now.’

Pinkie Pie prances off into the jungle.

‘Be careful out there! There are many dangerous....’

The Doctor is whipped back up into the trees by vines again.

Pinkie sits in Fluttershy’s cottage. Both are not talking. Fluttershy is nervous since this is the quietest that she has ever seen Pinkie.

After summoning a lot of courage, ‘Is, is everything all right?’ Fluttershy finally asks.

‘It is... complicated.’

Fluttershy gets a wicked grin and rides her new wave of courage. She pats Pinkie on the head. ‘There, there. Just tell Auntie Fluttershy all about it.’

Pinkie looks up at her friend a little angrily at that response. Fluttershy instantly curls up in a ball where she sits. Pinkie looks down again and sighs.

‘I want to throw a party for Mr Hayate James Wanderer, Esquire, but I didn’t know what he likes and when I asked other ponies, they make him sound sad and lonely.’

‘Oh...’ Fluttershy looks around nervously as she tries to think of the right thing to say. ‘Well, he is really very shy. It... leads to certain feelings. Especially if you don’t have a good outlet or the colts at flight school make fun of you for being gangly or if a certain bunny acts very rude when you are trying to give him a bath or...’ She catches herself. ‘Sorry. I got a little off topic there.’

‘Is that why you are good friends? Because you have that in common?’

‘Oh yes! We are both more open on the internet because of the relative anonymity. It really helps.’

‘But you come to parties all of the time! Just last week...’

‘Yes, but I am more social just around my friends. I tend to be a bit of a wallflower still...’ Fluttershy tries giving a comforting smile.

‘Hmm.... What is his favorite music?’ Pinkie says with a weak smile.

‘Music? I don’t know. He always sings random songs when they pop into his head,’ Twilight answers.

‘Favorite cake? And don’t tell me they are lies, like Flutters did. I know they are real.’

Twilight giggles at the reference. ‘I don’t know. He doesn’t really get desserts when we go out. I know he loves brownies.’

Pinkie is shocked. ‘Brownies! But those aren’t cupcakes!’

‘Pinkie, you don’t get like that when Applejack bakes a pie.’

‘I know, but she is weird. I mean, pies! Silly AJ.’

Twilight gives her friend a concerned look. ‘Are you okay? You have been running all over town a lot recently, and your mane hasn’t returned to normal since your accident.’

‘Oh, uh, this’ Pinkie starts running her hooves through her mane. ‘I, uh, just have a lot on my mind. I am trying to figure out the perfect party for...’

‘You said that when you got here.’

‘Sorry.’

Twilight goes over to her friend. ‘Pinkie, speaking for the one pony you probably did not ask but probably should have, get some rest and don’t worry about it. He would much rather a small party with a happy Pinkie than a huge party with a stressed Pinkie.’

‘I know... I’ll get some rest. Thanks Twilight.’

‘What are friends for? In fact, I’ll send you an email later with a list of things he likes if that will help.’

‘It most indeedily will.’

Pinkie starts exiting the library, but she stops and gasps a bigger gasp than she has ever done before.

‘OH! MY! PIZZA!’ Pinkie runs back and grabs Twilight. ‘What does he want for a gift! I totally forgot that!’

Twilight laughs and calms her friend down. ‘I’ll include a link to his wishlists too.’

The big day comes around, and it is time for Pinkie to put her party plan into practice. The Power Block is closed for the day while Pinkie throws the private party there. The Wandering Birthday Colt grumbled a bit because she started setting up so early and he wanted to have a special sale for the day, but he was convinced to reschedule the sale. All of his friends are stopping by to hang out for a bit. There are a myriad of systems hooked up, and most ponies are playing some game or another while movies play on the main screen. There is a large array of snacks on the main counter, ranging from homemade traditional birthday treats to all of Kaeko’s recently restocked imported snacks, bought at double price to make up for Pinkie’s last visit. Even Selene and The Doctor are in town and joining in the fun.

After getting his flank handed to him at Rockband by Octavia, The Wandering Physicist is heading upstairs to check on Pinkie. As he nears the kitchen, he hears singing. He peeks his head in to see Pinkie working on some baked goods while she sings.
♪
This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here:
HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Pinkie Pie Science.
We do what we must because we can.
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cupcakes.
And the baking gets done and you make great fun.
For the people who are still alive.

I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!

Now these pieces of fruit make a beautiful pie.
And we're out of baking, we're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive.

Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Twilight Sparkle...
THAT WAS A JOKE. Haha. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cupcake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.

Look at me still talking when there's cooking to do.
When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you.
I've experiments to run there is cooking to be done
On the people who are still alive

And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.

Still alive
Still alive
♬

The Wandering Physicist stands in awe of the song. He does not know what to make of it. He is a little scared and starts backing away, right into Twilight.

‘What’s going on up here?’ Twilight asks.

‘I was just checking if Pinkie needed any help.’

‘Oh no. It is your birthday. No work.’

‘Actually, I am fairly certain she needs help.’

‘Then why are you backing away?’

‘Because I want to keep as much blood in me as possible.’

‘What?’

The Scared Physicist heads back down to calm down a little. Twilight soon follows after seeing what Pinkie was doing, a little confused.

‘I don’t get it. What was she doing?’ Twilight insists.

‘She was singing a weird song. It was... unnerving.’

‘She sings weird songs all of the time. Have you heard the one she had for Zecora?’

‘She crossed baking with Still Alive.’

Twilight’s eyes go wide, but she shakes it off. ‘No. Pinkie is probably pretty worn out from all of the effort she put into planning it,’ she presses right into The Wandering Physicist’s face, ‘and you of all ponies have no right to complain. Got it!’

Just then, Pinkie comes down with more treats.

‘Who wants cupcakes!’

With Pinkie’s mane still limp and her huge grin, she looks a lot scarier than she should. Most ponies either take one or wave her past. She sets the tray by The Wandering Physicist and Twilight, who are standing at the counter. The Wandering Physicist looks from Pinkie to the cupcake then back. Something hits him.

‘Oh my Sagan! Where’s Lucas!’

‘Right here, boss!’ Lucas waves from a Mare-io Kart race.

‘That’s go... Where’s Rei!’

‘Hi!’ gets chirped from beside The Wandering Physicist’s head. He looks up to see Rei eating a cupcake upside down while upside down.

‘How the frak do you do that?’ Twilight asks.

‘Magic!’ Rei says as she walks off.

Pinkie starts getting nervous. ‘Mr... uh... whatever, is everything okay?’

‘He heard you singing upstairs a bit ago.’ Twilight interrupts.

‘What? That?’ Pinkie laughs nervously. ‘I-I was listening to the music everypony said you liked. I guess the tune got stuck in my head.’ She laughs again. ‘Not really the best song to make into a baking song.’

The Wandering Physicist hurriedly shakes his head ‘no’.

‘It is okay, Pinkie. He is sorry.’ Twilight jabs The Wandering Physicist. ‘Right?’

‘Very sorry. The sorriest.’

Pinkie starts choking up a little. ‘I’m sorry too. I messed up. I-I-I must have gotten something wrong. Oatmeal was right. I wasn’t able to throw you the perfect party.’

‘Sorry for giving you that impression just now, but this party is great. I’ve loving it.’ The Wandering Physicist says.

‘R-really?’

‘Yeah. You did a great job. Best party pony ever.’

Pinkie smiles at the compliment. Twilight is deep in thought.

‘Oatmeal? Who is Oatmeal?’ Twilight asks.

‘You know... Oatmeal,’ Pinkie replies. ‘I mentioned him before.’ Twilight looks confused. ‘You know... he’s crazy.’

It hits Twilight where she heard Pinkie mention ‘Oatmeal’ before.

‘Wait. So Oatmeal is a...’

‘Yeah. He is an invisible pony, but he talks to me about things. Why?’

Twilight turns to The Wandering Physicist. ‘Please tell me there is....’

The Wandering Physicist’s nervous glances answers Twilight before she can finish. Pinkie starts looking between them in shock.

‘But, he is real! We talk all the time! I’ve known him since I was an itty-bitty little-wittle Twinkie-Pinkie.’

‘Pinkie, maybe you should...’ Twilight starts.

‘No! I am not crazy! Just... STOP!’ Pinkie shouts.

A burst of energy emanates form Pinkie. Time literally stops for the party. Pinkie looks around in horror then runs out of the shop. After a moment, three of the party-goers moan and shake their heads.

‘Feels like I was sent back to the moon,’ Luna moans.

‘What happened? Did everything go timey-wimey for a moment there?’ The Doctor looks around. ‘Oh. Never mind.’

The Wandering Physicist stumbles behind the counter and gets out his sonic. He starts stumbling to the door. ‘I’ll be right back, maybe. Someone make sure Rei is okay.’

Luna and The Doctor look to see the white pegaus moaning on the ground with her legs sticking straight up where she fell from the ceiling.

‘Atama itai...’

‘She seems fine. Where are you going , Ja..?’ The Doctor sighs when he notices The Wandering Physicist gone. ‘I’ll stay here. Care to check if it is just us?’ He sighs again when he notices Luna is already gone.

Pinkie is running as fast as she can. She does not know where yet, but she is running. Nopony is getting in her way or stopping her, but she does not notice that they are all frozen. Tears are streaming down her face. Suddenly, a dark shape passes over her. The Wandering Physicist skids to a stop in a dramatic fashion. He raises a hoof to stop Pinkie, but he immediately falls over.

‘Holy cow! You are fast!’ He pants.

‘What do you want?’ Pinkie stomps in front of The Wandering Physicist’s nose. ‘Haven’t you done enough to me today?’

‘Pinkie. Please wait.’ The Wandering Physicist climbs to his feet. ‘I am really sorry. It is just that when somepony mentions an invisible pony that has been talking to them since they were a foal, that legitimately freaks out that pony’s friends.’

‘But he is real!’ Pinkie stomps a hoof, causing a bit of a earthquake.

‘I know he is real, but he is not a pony!’

Pinkie backs off. ‘Y-you, you can see him? Nopony else has ever been able to see him.’

‘Well, I can’t really see him per se, but... what is that!’

The Wandering Physicist points at nothing, not fooling Pinkie at all. He draws his sonic and activates it. Slowly, a small troll becomes coherent, floating next to Pinkie’s head. She screams and hides behind The Wandering Physicist.

‘What is that?’

‘Well, you know the story of Rumpelstiltskin?’

‘Yeah..’

‘Absolutely nothing like that.’

‘Blasted pony! I was having a great life feeding off of her energies. Between the two of you, I could have become immortal and ruled this planet.’ Oatmeal the troll snarls.

‘So what? I was going to be the dessert after you abused poor Pinkie here?’ The Wandering Physicist guesses.

‘I can see into you deeper than you think. She is barely an after-dinner mint compared to you.’

‘Hmm. I get it. A being that feeds on negative emotions. Well! Element of Laughter time!’ The Wandering Physicist pushes Pinkie in front of him. ‘Time to get magic necklace thingy on his flank.’

Pinkie looks up at the troll then to the ground. ‘I can’t.’

‘But, Element of Laughter. Party time. Smiles. Uh, awesome party, great job!’ The Wandering Physicist puts on a big smile.

Pinkie looks at The Wandering Physicist and back down. She has not felt this bad since Discord. ‘No. I just can’t. Not after this week. Not after what I learned.’

The Wandering Physicist looks confused. ‘But.... Party. Cupcakes. Good times.’

Pinkie shakes her head. ‘I was faking. Like you were.’

The Wandering Physicist’s eyes dart. ‘Nopony knows that.’

‘I know that!’ Oatmeal interjects.

‘Nopony asked you!’ The Wandering Physicist shoots. ‘And what sort of name is “Oatmeal” anyway?’

‘It means “one who eats the hearts and souls of weak ponyfolk” in my people’s tongue.’

The Wandering Physicist tries hiding behind Pinkie more. ‘Element blasty time now.’ She just frowns and starts crying. ‘Please talk to me. How do we get your smile back?’

‘Was it ever really there to begin with?’

‘Rainboom explode! Make happy! Party! Birth of Equestria!’

‘I looked you up. I found out about your past and personality. I heard a lot of things that I had heard before. ... Before...’

‘When? Before what?’

‘Before Dashie. They were all about me. I heard the words about you, but they sounded like they were talking about me.’ Pinkie starts sobbing. ‘The loneliness! The fear! The anger! The shyness! The wanting to belong, if just for one moment. They were talking about me! They didn’t know it, but they were talking about me.’

Pinkie grabs The Wandering Physicist in a hug. The tears seem never ending, from both of them.

‘I can finish you off now,’ Oatmeal offers. ‘You will never have to feel that way ever again.’

‘It is tempting,’ Pinkie sobs. ‘Too tempting. Make it stop!’

‘I wish I could, but you are the only one that can do it.’

‘I can’t!’

‘Yes you can! Look at me!’ Pinkie looks into The Crying Physicist’s eyes. ‘I know you can do this. Trust me. I have been where you are. I have felt what you feel. There was somepony who I really felt a connection with. One I really wanted to hug and say it was going to be okay. But I couldn’t. They weren’t real. You and I are real. You can do what you first felt when you learned about me. Do it! I am ready for anyt...’

The Wandering Physicist is cut off when Pinkie’s lips touch his. The rest of the world disappears around them. They do not notice that Oatmeal howls in pain and disappears in a blinding flash. They do not notice that time returns to normal around them. They do not notice all of the comments about them.

‘About time she found somepony she likes.’

‘Wait. I thought he was with Twilight Sparkle. Does that mean I still have a chance?’

‘D’awwwww!’

‘Wait. I thought she was with Twilight Sparkle. Does that mean I still have a chance?’

‘I wish I had hands.’

‘Wait. I thought he was with Lucas. Does that mean I still have a chance?’

‘Ew! Gay!’

‘Ugh. They would probably have some crazy blonde pegasus as a foal.’

The pair finally break the kiss. They stare into each other’s eyes.

‘Would you believe that was my first real kiss?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘Right now, I would believe anything you tell me,’ Pinkie replies.

‘Feeling better?’

‘Never felt better.’

The Wandering Physicist and Pinkie kiss one more time before they get up to return to the party.

Back at The Power Block, everypony is back on their hooves. They do not know what happened, but they feel like they were just smashed in the head by a slice of lemon wrapped around a gold brick. The party returns to normal with everypony barely noticing anything strange or out of place. Everypony just assumes that Rei is unconscious because she finally fell from the ceiling. They are half correct. The Doctor and Luna are keeping silent about the whole event. The Wandering Physicist and Pinkie return to the party.

‘Where have you been?’ Twilight demands. ‘I don’t care if it is part of your name. You don’t just wander off in the middle of your birthday party.’

The Wandering Physicist smiles at Pinkie. ‘We get getting Kisses.’

Pinkie goes from bright pink to bright red. The Wandering Physicist laughs and pulls a bag of candy out of nowhere.

‘Pinkie wanted some for a special treat, and, well, I, heh, heh, you know me.’

Twilight growls and magically drags The Wandering Physicist away for one of her trademark lectures. Pinkie just laughs at her friends and goes back to the party.

At the end of the night, The Wandering Physicist is thanking all of his guests for coming. They all thank him for a wonderful time. Throughout the shop, Pinkie, Twilight, Fluttershy, Selene, and Lucas are cleaning up. Rei is still passed out where she has been since time stopped. The last of the guests are leaving. Octavia and Vinyl are heading out.

‘No more Rock Band. Please,’ The Wandering Physicist begs.

‘I thought as much,’ Octavia scoffs. ‘That teaches you a lesson to fall asle... Quit faking sleeping!’

The Wandering Physicist snorts. ‘Wha? Where am I?’

Vinyl laughs as her friend growls.

‘Great time, yo.’

Vinyl puts out a hoof, and all three brohoof. The Wandering Physicist and Vinyl look at Octavia.

Octavia blushes. ‘What? I wanted to join in too. Shut up!’

Octavia walks off followed by a snickering Vinyl. Derpy flies out over the host. The Doctor follows her out.

‘See ya ’round, Chief!’ Derpy salutes.

‘Where to this time?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘I was thinking of Wexnal IV. I hear there is a jungle there with living trees. Should be fun.’

‘Watch out for vines.’

‘I’ll pass that along to Derpy. She has a way of getting caught in those things.’

The Doctor waves as he makes his way to his TARDIS. Lucas stretches in his area of the shop.

‘I think that is good enough for now,’ Lucas says. ‘Rei and I can finish it in the morning.’

‘It would be rude of a host not to clean up her mess,’ Pinkie chimes in.

‘I think I have a spell for this,’ Twilight volunteers.

‘EMP!’ The Cautious Physicist shouts.

‘Emp? What is emp?’ Fluttershy asks.

‘I am Twilight Sparkle! Fear my laser horn!’ Twilight casts a spell that cleans up a lot of the remaining mess in a flash. She giggles at her work and the reference.

Lucas lowers a shield he cast around himself. Fluttershy comes out of hiding. Selene makes sure her perception filters are intact. Rei still lays where she has been. The Wandering Physicist just sighs and scans the room with his sonic.

‘Looks like everything is intact.’ He wags the sonic at Twilight. ‘Be careful with your magic.’

Twilight giggles again. ‘Yes. I just wanted to have some more fun.’

‘Only you can think giving the birthday colt a lecture and then destroying his livelihood is fun,’ Selene goads.

Twilight snorts at Selene. Selene glares back. They get into a staring contest. While they are fighting, Fluttershy goes over to The Wandering Physicist.

‘I had a fun time. Sorry I wasn’t too social.’

‘It is okay. You just don’t hangout with the weirdos I hangout with too often.’ Pause. ‘Keep it that way.’

Fluttershy laughs. She gives The Wandering Physicist a hug and a peck on the cheek. She exits the shop and flies away happy. Lucas follows Fluttershy out and just waves since he will see his boss the next day. Twilight and Selene finish their spat and exit the shop.

‘Pinkie really knows how to throw a good party,’ Twilight states. ‘She put a lot of work personalizing it for you.’ She glares. ‘Make sure you thank her profusely.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘I think I can find a way.’

‘Since I was unable to do so tonight,’ Selene starts, ‘I will have to give you your birthday spanking some other time. How old are you again?’

‘Eep.’

Twilight gives Selene a small growl. She pushes Selene out of the way. She blushes for what she is about to do and gives The Surprised Physicist a quick kiss on the lips. Selene growls, pushes Twilight away and gives The Shocked Physicist a longer kiss. Twilight magically shoves Selene out of the way and gives The Stupefied Physicist an equally long kiss. Selene tackles Twilight from the kiss, and the two start brawling outside of the shop. The Irked Physicist growls and gives a whistle. The mares fail to stop their fight until a splash of water drops over them. The Wandering Physicist waves at Lucas who continues back to his home.

Twilight blows her soaking bangs out of her eyes. ‘Sorry.’

Selene shakes the water from her wings. ‘Me too. Sorry.’

‘Now behave on your ways home.’

The mares groan and head their separate ways with Selene flying off and changing back to Luna on the way. The Wandering Physicist goes back into the shop to the waiting Pinkie Pie and still-out Rei.

‘Do you need help with her?’ Pinkie offers.

‘Nah. She knows where her room is once she want to stop acting out.’

‘I’m not acting out,’ is mumbled.

‘I should be hitting the hay, too. It has been an eventful day,’ The Tired Physicist says as he stretches a bit.

‘Yeah... Me too. Maybe now I can get my mane to poof again.’

‘Aw, but I think it is really cute like this.’

Pinkie blushes. ‘Really?’

‘He’s lying,’ is mumbled followed by an ‘ouch!’ as The Irked Parent gives his alternate universe daughter a small kick.

‘I should be going,’ Pinkie says as she goes to the door. ‘More parties to get ready.’

‘Have fun!’ Rei cheers as she gets The Choking Physicist in a headlock.

‘Rest well. I’ll see you soon I hope.’ The Vulcan Physicist says as he hits a pressure point on Rei’s neck, causing her to faint.

Pinkie laughs and heads out the door. The Wandering Physicist locks it with his sonic as he drags Rei upstairs to her room. After dropping her in her room, The Exhausted Physicist heads straight to his bed and climbs in. A second after he turns the lights out, there is a click and a charging sound as trioculars are activated. The Terrified Physicist’s eyes shoot open, and long pink hair drops in front of him. The trioculars go out, and a mass drops to the bed.

‘A kiss for how many years again?’

Author's Note

Current TWP Love Triangle: Twilight vs Luna vs Pinkie (vs Fluttershy vs Octavia)

TWP Timeline: First kiss (with Pinkie). First kiss with Twilight. First kiss with Luna.

Story Event: First birthday I celebrated since finding MLP. Expect more introspective chapters like this.

I know it seems very uncharacteristically Pinkie for her to get so sad and depressed but at the time I wrote this, Party of One was my favorite episode (shortly to be replaced by Lesson Zero). If you really look at her behavior in the series, you can tell that inwardly she is very lonely and uses her parties to be social and relate to others. She just couldn't stand seeing somepony so lonely and that made her introspective and feel lonely as well. Fortunately, she and TWP found a friend who is willing to do anything to cheer the other up. Their entire friendship and relationship is built around that.

Also (and probably most importantly), this is the first chapter where TWP is not the main character. Pinkie gets that first too.

Filling Time

Main Characters: Rei, TWP, Twilight
Cameos: Spike, Derpy, Rainbow Dash, Kaeko
Original Write Date: November 4, 2011

Tsukiyo Rei is bored. She is bored, bored, bored, BORED! She is laying on her bed staring at the ceiling trying to figure out how to turn her whole room upside down. She knows it must be possible since the room just appeared one day after she arrived to this dimension. She knows it has to do with that weird closet that is bigger on the inside. Maybe Lucas knows how. He has magic.

Rei stops to think about Lucas a bit. He is an odd pony. His unicorn magic is different from other unicorns. He can cast a large number of small spells, but he does not specialize in any one magic. He also knows a lot about Rei’s homeland, although it is from video games and cartoons. Rei laughs at how goofy Lucas can be. If only she were a little older, she would totally kidnap him and make him date her without it looking creepy. Maybe tomorrow.

Rei hears the back entrance open and shut. Given the time of day, she knows it is not Mr Wanderer or Lucas since they would be busy working. There are no plans for any guests to come over. Rei does not have that many friends in town yet since she is still a little nervous around other ponies her age in this universe. She listens closely. She hears footfalls so she knows it is not Fluttershy or Selene since they are fellow pegasi and light on their feet. She knows it is not Pinkie Pie since her hooves squeak when she walks. Rei must find out how that works!

Rei quickly flies out of her room and loops around the building to find the best ambush position. The intruder enters the living room, and Rei shoots in through the window. She grabs the intruder as they tumble across the floor.

Rei strikes a ninja pose. ‘In the name of the moon, I will punish you!’

‘What the heck is your problem!’ a prone Twilight Sparkle shouts.

Twilight is this dimension’s Element of Magic. For a while, Rei thought Twilight was dating Mr Wanderer. They used to spend a lot of time together until recently. Rumor has it that Mr Wanderer and Pinkie Pie were making out in the middle of the town. When Twilight heard the rumor, she was quite upset. She had a very loud fight that Rei was not allowed to watch. Rei bets it would have been fun. Rei has not seen either Twilight or Pinkie since that day. Twilight must not be mad any more.

‘Oh! Hi!’ Rei beams. She offers a hoof to help Twilight up.

Twilight takes the hoof and dusts herself off. She gives Rei her most upset glare.

‘It is good to see you again.’ Rei bows a little. ‘How can I help you, ojoo-sama!’

Twilight sighs at Rei. ‘I was just here to return...’ She cocks her head to one side. ‘Why are you acting like you are trying to distract me?’

Rei stops spinning in circles along her azimuthal axis while waving her limbs wildly. ‘Uh... Because.. if you, uh... Can I stay and watch this time?’

Twilight snaps around to see The Wandering Physicist behind her. He does not look as upset as Twilight does at this moment, but Rei knows that he does not have to look the part for the fun to begin.

Without looking away from Twilight, The Wandering Physicist replies, ‘If you promise not to come out, I’ll show you how to rotate your room later.’

Rei’s eyes go wide with excitement. She instantly rushes into her room. She is too excited to do anything thing but sit on her bed and wait for Mr Wanderer to call her. She gets less excited when she hears the TARDIS powering up. Her excitement goes to nil once the TARDIS sounds finally disappear. She just lays on her bed and starts working on the most sad rejection face she can possibly muster.

There is a tap on Rei’s door. ‘Rei. Dinner.’ Rei bolts up, then swears as she hits her head. Out of boredom, she had found a way of wedging herself under her bed, but she had stopped when she got stuck and found she had no exit strategy. There must be some political implication. She wiggles her way out and heads out of her room.

‘Hi!’ Pinkie greets as Rei exits her room. Pinkie is the only pony Rei knows who likes fun as much if not more than she does. Rei wonders if Pinkie’s pegasus twin Surprise exists in this dimension too.

‘Hi!’ Rei replies as she wonders if Twilight is using a very cool new spell. ‘Where’s Twilight?’ she asks in hopes of revealing the disguise.

‘She had to go back to the library after our little talk.’ The Wandering Physicist replies as he sets out some bento on the table. ‘We finally worked everything out. Took long enough...’

‘We went to the moon!’ In order to talk with Twilight in a calm and rational manner, The Wandering Physicist took her to some place where she could not teleport away from easily: the moon.

‘Cool!’ Rei get excited then instantly pouts. ‘Why don’t you take me cool places?’

‘I took you to Akihabara a few days ago for the launch of that CD you wanted.’

‘Yeah, but... hmpf!’ Rei crosses her forelegs and looks away to pout more.

A bento is placed in front of her. She looks down at it. She tries really hard not to smile at the rice pattern made to look like her. The hair is even made out of rice dyed blue, and OMG! The cutest red tomatoes for her eyes.

‘Itadakimasu!’ Rei cheers as she starts digging in.

‘We also went...’ The Wandering Physicist cuts Pinkie off with a hoof to the mouth and shake of the head. Since Twilight was not convinced by The Wandering Physicist’s and Pinkie’s calm and rational arguments, they also took Twilight to the moment when time was frozen. Seeing what her friends went through was enough to convince her. The Wandering Physicist releases Pinkie.

‘Poor Oatmeal. He was crazy.’ Pinkie laments when free. Twilight was so upset that she cast a spell on Oatmeal the troll. The spell was amplified when it broke the time seal. The troll was blasted so hard he was mysteriously teleported away.

Rei looks up with rice covering her face. ‘Does this mean everything is cool again?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Cool enough. It will take time to regain all of that trust again.’

‘Twilight is a smarty, friendy pony. She will be back to normal in no time!’ Pinkie reassures. ‘She isn’t the Element of Friendship for nothing!’

‘I thought she was the Element of Magic.’ Rei says as she glares at a tempura broccoli as if that would make it go away somehow.

‘But friendship IS magic, silly!’ Pinkie replies with a big smile.

‘Speaking of which, Rei, you need to get out more,’ The Wandering Physicist adds.

Both Rei and Pinkie look up from eating and stare at The Wandering Physicist in shock. A large mass of nori drops from Pinkie’s face.

‘What!’ The Wandering Physicist protects. ‘Just because I am one way doesn’t mean she is, too. I mean, she is a white pegasus version of you, Pinkie.’

‘But I am not blonde!’ Rei interjects, confusing the others. Apparently, Surprise does not exist.

‘She spends all of her time with me and Lucas. She needs friends her own age.’

‘You’re right!’ Pinkie agrees. ‘Lucas is close, but you’re not only old enough to be her father, you are old enough to be her great-great-great-great-great grandfather!’

The Wandering Physicist rubs his temple in frustration. ‘Thank you, Pinkie.’

‘No problem!’ Pinkie returns to munching her nori.

Rei sighs and contemplates what horrors await her.

The next day, Rei finds herself sitting in the middle of the library while Twilight goes about her business.

‘Making new friends, huh,’ Twilight says as she marches past reading a book. ‘Well, I know some ponies who could use my notes better than you.’

Rei groans at the less-than-subtle dig at her caretaker.

‘Anyway,’ -- Twilight levitates a roll of parchment over to Rei -- ‘here are my notes on the subject.’

‘This doesn’t seem that bad,’ Rei says, looking over the parchment.

‘Those are only the ones she has edited for publishing,’ Spike comments as he enters with a large pile of scrolls in his arms. ‘Here are the rest that still have to be quadruple-checked for spelling, grammar, footnotes, and have an index made for them.’

‘Don’t forget the bibliography!’ Twilight beams as she levitates a large scroll to Rei.

Rei lets out a terrible moan as she surveys the amount of reading.

‘Tell me about it,’ Spike agrees.

‘Don’t worry. All of the books I reference are in stock and both of us are here to help if needed. In fact, I would be honored to help you make new friends,’ Twilight offers.

‘This better not be some crazy friendship report scheme again.’

‘Spiiiike! You know me better than that.’

‘So it is a crazy scheme,’ Spike starts, walking away. ‘I’ll warn Celestia.’

Twilight growls as Spike heads back to the study. Rei pokes at the stack of papers with a hoof.

‘Do you have this on .pdf?’

Rei is insanely bored with Twilight’s friendship lesson. While Twilight is going on, the filly puts the finishing touches on her papier-mache tribute to world peace. It is currently taking the form of a giant blob of wet paper and glue. Also, the glue tastes horrible!

‘...and that brings me to what I like to call Element of Friendship number Forty-Three B. Rei, are you getting this down?’

‘Perfectly.’

‘Then why don’t I hear...’ Twilight turns around and sees the art project. Her jaw drops and her face goes paler than Rei. ‘My... my... n, n, notes!’

Rei’s mobile rings and instantly comes on. ‘Rei! What did you do!’ is shouted out by The Wandering Physicist.

Twilight snatches the mobile with her magic. ‘Your idiot daughter destroyed all of my notes on friendship!’

‘For a nerd, she doesn’t know much about scanners!’ Rei shouts. She glares at Twilight. ‘I scanned everything before I did anything to them. Twice. With links between the documents.’ She turns away in a huff. ‘Not that either of you don’t mind jumping to conclusions.’

Twilight stares at the upset Rei. ‘I’ll call you back.’ She deactivates the mobile. ‘Rei, I know you meant well, but you have a lot to learn about...’

Twilight shouts and ducks as a tribute to world peace flies at her head. There is a crash as a white pegasus flies through a window. Twilight sighs and activates the mobile again.

‘We have a bit of a problem...’

Rei is flying as fast as she can. She does not know where to yet, but she is going to get there no matter what. She sees a cloud in front of her, takes aim and BAM! She flies head first into the cyan pegasus who was sleeping on it.

‘Hey! What is the big deal!’ Rainbow Dash yells.

‘Sorry. I was just...’ Rei looks away, sad.

‘You’re Jimmy’s kid! Sorry about yelling at you.’

‘I am not his kid,’ Rei scowls.

‘Right. Sorry. What’s bugging ya, squirt?’

‘Twilight yelled at me after I tried helping her out.’

‘That is not very nice. What did you do for her?’

‘I scanned all of her notes about friendship and turned the scrap into a sculpture for her.’

‘You turned Twilight’s notes... into a sculpture.’

‘Yeah...’

‘And you made it out alive?’ Rei looks confused. ‘She once literally tried biting my head off when I used one of her notebooks as a coaster, when she was the one forcing me to use a coaster in the first place.’

‘That’s not very nice.’

‘No, it wasn’t. I should have known better.’

‘Wait. What?’

‘Personal property, kid. Gotta learn to respect it.’

‘But, I’m a princess! I am better than that!’ Rei argues, invoking her position from her homeworld. Well, she was really a duchess by title, but... shut up! This is her story, and she will tell it how she wants.

‘Kid, here you’re not a...’

‘Get down!’ Rei dives into the cloud knowing white-on-white will conceal her. ‘I’m not here.’

Rainbow Dash looks around. She sees The Wandering Physicist walking up with his magic soundy thingy scanning the sky. He stops when he finds Rainbow Dash.

‘Hey, Jimmy! Looking for something?’ Rainbow Dash greets.

‘Yes. I seem to have lost Rei. Have you seen her?’

Rei bites Rainbow Dash’s leg before the older pegasus can reply. ‘Not at this time. Is she in trouble for something? Like biting somepony in the leg?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘No. Not yet. If you see her, tell her that Twilight and I want to talk with her. Just talk. No yelling will be involved.’

‘Will do!’

The Wandering Physicist and Rainbow Dash wave to each other before he heads away. Rainbow Dash turns back to her cloud and growls. A sullen Rei looks out.

‘I am sorry. I panicked.’

‘You should have let me do the talking before jumping to conclusions.’

Rei winces as her words are turned back on her. ‘I know...’

‘I am pretty sure those two are tired of fighting after these past few days, so you will probably just get that talking to.’ Rainbow Dash remembers the last time Twilight lectured her. ‘Boy, will you get a talking too.’

‘I... I’ll be going now.’ Rei starts flying away at a slower speed.

‘Don’t worry about it! It will all be fine,’ Rainbow Dash calls after Rei.

After much wandering of the skies, Rei is tired and hungry and wishes she had not left her purse and/or mobile at Twilight’s so she would get some food. The stalking of the wild lunch is going pretty poorly as it seems other ponies have caught most of the prey in the lunch’s natural habitat of the park. Rei will have to ask the mayor to impose stricter sanctions on the hunting of lunches if she is to get what she desired. Suddenly, the hunter spots its prey. Rei charges forward, leaps and catches the elusive meal and more.

‘Icky!’ Derpy complains as she pulls her hoof from Rei’s mouth.

‘Gomen nasai,’ Rei apologizes with a small bow. ‘I guess my stomach got the better of me.’

‘You should have just asked. I always have plenty of muffins to spare.’

‘Mommy. Who is that?’ a small unicorn filly asks.

‘She lives with one of mommy’s friends.’ Derpy motions to Rei. ‘Dinky, this is Rei. Rei, Dinky.’

‘Wait. How can you be her mom if...’

‘Don’t tell me you don’t understand how genetics work.’

‘Well, no, but yes, but ... HUH?!’

Derpy holds up another muffin. ‘Here. Have another one, and we can chat.’

Rei remains in the park after her nice lunch with Derpy and her daughter. Rei is convinced that Derpy can eat her weight in muffins and unlocked the achievement for that several times in her life. She is also still eternally confused on how a pegasus can have a unicorn for a daughter. A daughter....

‘I wish I had parents...’ Rei says to herself as she picks at a blade of grass in order to keep from crying. Now she really wishes she had her purse so she could hold the last keepsake they left her. Sometimes, she can almost hear them calling her...

‘Rei! Rei!’

‘Where are you, Rei!’

Rei looks up. Somepony was actually calling her name. She looks around for the source then immediately looks for a place to hide when she sees The Wandering Physicist and Twilight walking up. Without much time to think, Rei takes to the skies again.

‘Gotcha!’ Twilight casts a spell and catches Rei by the tail with her magic.

Rei resists as hard as she can and breaks Twilight’s grip. A silver pegasus cuts Rei off.

‘Come with us, dozo,’ Kaeko commands.

Rei sighs and lands. The Wandering Physicist and Twilight gallop over. They look at her sternly then sigh.

‘We’re going back to the library,’ The Wandering Physicist says.

‘We’re just going to talk,’ Twilight assures.

Rei stares at the ground and nods. The group of ponies walk away.

Back at the library, Rei is getting a lecture by Twilight on responsibility, friendship and why a flat tax is doomed to fail. Off to the side, The Napping Physicist and Kaeko are waiting their turns to speak.

‘...and that is why Governor Prairie was completely wrong for running on that platform,’ Twilight concludes. ‘Mr Wanderer, Miss Umaku, anything you would like to add?’

Kaeko shakes her head. She gives The Wandering Physicist a small nudge.

‘Waffles!’ The Wandering Physicist look around and once again finds the glare that had been missing from his life until just the day before. ‘What were we talking about?’

‘I was just telling Rei about the dangers of a wasted youth,’ Twilight growls.

‘Using examples from your own life, right?’

Twilight’s horn glows for a moment and a lightning bolt strikes The Punished Physicist’s rear.

‘Ow!’ The Electrocuted Physicist leaps into the air. ‘Sorry.’ He turns to Rei. ‘Rei, listen. I just want what is best for you. I don’t want you cooped up in your room all day for no good reason.’

‘Then let me help in the shop more.’ Rei pleads.

‘I also don’t want you in the shop. You have too much energy.’

‘I can behave!’

‘You made changes to Twilight’s notes without asking her. You then destroyed her notes. You then glued that mess to the wall after throwing it at her head. You broke one of her windows. You accidentally attacked Rainbow Dash then bit her. And you stole a muffin from Derpy without asking her. Can you really behave?’

‘You started a fight with Princess Luna! Not to mention all of the mean things you have done to Twilight!’

‘And I have gotten punished for all of those things.’

‘Plus, he didn’t do them all in less than half a day,’ Twilight grumbles.

The Wandering Physicist points at Twilight. ‘Exactly. You need ponies your age to play with. That is why I asked Twilight to talk to you today. If she can get over her social phobias, anypony can.’

‘What about you?’ Rei asks.

‘I’m outside while the sun is out, aren’t I?’

Twilight facehoofs.

Rei looks down as she tries to come up with another excuse. ‘What is Umaku-san doing here? I didn’t do anything to her.’

‘I am here because Wanderer-san asked me to be.’ Kaeko says. ‘I was around your age when my family moved to Equestria, so I know what it is like being a foreigner here and being scared to make new friends.’

‘I-I-I’m not scared! I am Fullmoon! Duchess of Neighpon. I can make friends with anypony I want.’

Kaeko calmly walks over to Rei and sits down. Rei tries avoiding eye contact, but Kaeko is persistent. When contact is finally made, Rei looks down meekly and sits too. This is NOT the way to treat a princess.

‘What is she..?’ Twilight asks.

‘Shh! This is how she convinced me to take her to Comiket in the TARDIS in winter.’

‘Do all pegasi have The Stare?’

The Wandering Physicist nudges Twilight. She looks over and is locked into his eyes. She leans closer and closer until... CHU! Twilight instantly realizes she just kissed a stallion she was ready to send to the moon just twenty-four hours prior. (Technically, he did go to the moon but not the way Twilight intended.) The Wandering Physicist just smirks.

‘How? But...’

‘Some of us have it. Some don’t.’

Twilight opens her mouth to lecture The Manipulative Physicist, but she is stopped by a tackle-hug.

‘I am so sorry!’ A sobbing Rei says. ‘I was scared of meeting new ponies. Please teach me to be a good friend so I may have lots of them like you.’

Twilight just pats the lonely Rei on the head and gets up.

Rei is so nervous the butterflies in her stomach have butterflies in their stomachs and those butterflies are vomiting. After coming up with that lovely image, Rei starts wondering what butterflies actually taste like. She is sure they are crunchy, but they also look tender. Rei shakes her head. That is not important right now.

‘They are not as tasty as they look. Some are even poisonous.’ The Wandering Physicist comments from beside Rei. How did he know! He then gives a yawn followed by a snort. ‘Where am I!’

Other older ponies looks over and murmur before turning back to their children who all appear to be about Rei’s age. Most of the younger ponies are heading inside a large auditorium structure. A number of them greet each other and head in together.

‘Do I really have to do this?’ Rei asks.

‘Just do what Twilight taught you and you’ll do fine.’

‘But... I finished all of my schooling back home. I don’t think they can teach me anything new...’

‘Doesn’t matter to me what grades you get. I just want you to make some friends and be happy.’

The nervous pegasus kicks at the ground a bit. ‘I am not sure I can do this, Mr Wanderer.’

Rei looks over at The Sleeping Physicist. He looks very peaceful. She will really regret having to wake him. Fortunately, he takes care of that himself.

‘Van candy!’ The Creepy Physicist shouts randomly as he wakes. Shocked stares and a wide avoidance radius soon follows. A magenta unicorn walks through the empty area without a care.

‘Wanderer~~~!’

‘Rei, you’ll be fine. All you have to do is take that first step.’

‘But!’

‘No “buts”. I’ll tell you what my father told me before I was taken to the academy on my planet. “Son, I am going to bed now. Keep it the... censored down and get some censored sleep!” ... We had a complicated relationshi....’ The Wandering Physicist trails off as he falls asleep again.

Rei laughs at her mentor’s goofy behavior. She gives him a small nuzzle on the cheek.

‘You’d make a great dad.’

Rei turns back to the building, readies herself, and marches forward. She is ready for whatever challenge faces her, but are they ready for her? Dun-dun-dun-DUN! Dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun...

No, the Star Wars theme would be better here, Rei concludes.

Author's Note

Fun fact: This chapter was literally created as a filler chapter between ideas. Surprisingly, the 'going to school' conclusion is the center of a lot of Rei's future events.

Story Timeline: First cameo of Stormy, added after his real first chapter.

Like a Lady

Main Characters: Rarity, Rei, Strawberry Soufflé/Stormy, Twilight
Cameos: TWP, TWP’s beard, Lucas, CMC, Silver Spoon
Original Write Date: November 16, 2011

Rarity and Rei are at a fancy restaurant as payment for Rei watching Sweetie Belle recently. They have just ordered. Rei takes in everything.

‘It is so good going out with a conversationalist,’ Rarity states, sipping her water. ‘Everypony I dine with seems either too shy or immature to hold a conversation for more than a minute.’

‘Thanks for having me,’ Rei replies. ‘I didn’t know I was going to get this good a deal.’

‘It is the minimum, uh, payment I have with Mr Wanderer.’

‘This is the minimum? I’d love to see what the max is.’ Rei looks around. ‘Heck, even the appetizers are great.’

Rei leans forward and bites a flower from the centerpiece. Rarity stares in shock.

‘Rei, dear, that is the centerpiece.’

Rei swallows. ‘Sorry. I am not used to places that have utensils other than chopsticks.’

‘How do you...’ Rarity shakes off the thought of chopsticks. She pauses to drink. ‘Anyway, thank you for watching my sister. I just get backlogged so easily, especially with all of the paperwork.’

‘It was my pleasure. I had a lot of fun. She isn’t as energetic as you said she was. We barely did half of the things I wanted to do.’

Rarity laughs. ‘So the rumors of your energy are true.’

‘Your sister is very curious, but I couldn’t believe she didn’t know what yaoi is.’

Rarity resists spitting her drink across the table. ‘Excuse me?’

‘Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. So I taught her all about it as well as yuri and joso and futanari and...’

Rarity would have gone white if that was not her natural coat color. ‘Um... Rei... Sweetie is, was, a little too young to know what those things are. They were going to be explained to her when she was old enough.’

Rei grimaces. ‘Oops. Sorry.’

Rarity sighs. ‘N-no problem. She is back with our parents now. They get to deal with any of her further questions.’ Of course when she says where she learned those terms...

The waiter arrives, putting Rarity’s worries to rest. He sets a plate with a delicate arrangement in front of Rarity.

‘The house special, truffles over imported alfalfa with a side of roast tomatoes.’

‘This looks divine as always.’

The waiter nods to Rarity. He then sets a large bowl of greens in front of Rei. ‘And, sigh, the Queen for a Day All You Can Eat Salad.’

‘I hope you have round two in the back, because I am starved! Itadakimasu!’

Rei shoves her muzzle in the bowl and starts eating. Rarity is horrified. The waiter sighs and turns to leave, but Rarity grabs him.

‘Get me something strong to drink.’ A ‘thunk’ is heard as Rei’s muzzle hits the bottom of the bowl. ‘Make it a double.’ Burp. ‘Hurry.’

Midday. Rarity is heading to The Power Block to have a word with Rei’s guardian. She wears stylishly large sunglasses to hide the fact that she just woke up and is still a little light sensitive from her way of coping with Rei’s behavior the night before. Luckily, the shop is empty except for the pony she came to see. She goes right up to the counter to confront The Wandering Physicist. He is playing a handheld device.

‘Mr Wanderer, I must speak to you about Rei.’

The Wandering Physicist closes his game. ‘I’ll get my cheque book.’ He starts looking under the counter.

‘No, no. It is nothing like that. It is just that she has no class. She is very unladylike.’

The Wandering Physicist gets out a pen. ‘So... One hundred bits?’

‘She told Sweetie Belle about the topics we have been avoiding with her.’

The Wandering Physicist winces. ‘That won’t turn out well.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Currently at the Cutie Mark Crusader club house, Sweetie Belle is trying to convince her friends about her latest idea for earning their cutie marks.

‘Ah don’ know. That sounds a mite iffy,’ Apple Bloom protests.

‘Yeah. Besides, my dad says that it will lead to ponies wanting to marry box turtles or their video games or something really weird,’ Scootaloo adds.

‘We just have to try it once. Didn’t we say we were going to try everything?’

‘Ah guess.... Sweetie Belle, you go first since it was your idea.’

‘Fine, but one of you has to join in, too.’

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo look at each other. They both quickly shoot a hoof up to touch their nose. Scootaloo is faster, but she accidentally knocks herself in the head and falls over.

‘Ha! You’re up, Scootaloo.’

Scootaloo picks herself up. ‘Fine.’

Apple Bloom backs away, leaving Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo in the middle of the club house.

‘Cutie Mark Crusader Yuri. Yay?’ they say as they nervously lean in.

The pair quickly kiss then back away.

‘Eew!’ Apple Bloom shouts.

‘Is there anything back there?’ Sweetie Belle asks, too scared to look.

‘No.’ Apple Bloom answers.

‘Oh thank Celestia.’ Sweetie Belle breathes a sigh of relief.

‘I don’t know. I sort of liked it.’ Scootaloo blushes.

Both of her friends stare at Scootaloo in shock.

Scootaloo smiles at Apple Bloom. ‘Okay! Your turn to test it, Apple Bloom.’

Apple Bloom turns white.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘So as is the case with an uncivilized pony, I offer my services in teaching Rei in what it means to be an upstanding lady in modern society. Does that sound fair?’ Rarity offers.

The Wandering Physicist signs the cheque. ‘Great. Whatever. Here is one-fifty. You’ll know it when you need it.’ He slides the cheque to Rarity.

Rarity looks confused, especially since the cheque is dated for several days in the future. She shrugs and puts in in her bag. ‘Very well. I have no pending orders. Tell Rei to come by my place tomorrow after school for her first lesson.’ Pop music is heard. ‘Ooo! My phone. Excuse me.’ She levitates her mobile to her ear. ‘Heeellooo~~! Oh Applejack! So good to hear from you. ... She what? ... She what! ... SHE WHAT! ... Well, I can assure you that I told her no such thing. In fact, I know exactly which pony you should talk to about this...’ The upset unicorn turns to glare at The Wandering Physicist but finds Lucas there in his place.

‘Please don’t hurt me,’ Lucas begs.

The sound of a TARDIS dematerializing is heard from upstairs.

Rarity growls and lifts her mobile back to her ear. ‘I’ll have to get back to you about it. ... Yeah. It was her. I am working on that problem. Bye.’ She hangs up her mobile and replaces it in her bag. She turns to Lucas. ‘Tell your employer to expect Applejack to come calling soon.’

Lucas nods in reply. Rarity turns on her heels and marches out with her head held high.

The next morning Rarity is awakened early by a rapping on the door. She moans as she climbs out of bed and shuffles down stairs. She moves her eyeshade over her horn and ties a robe around her by the time she reaches the front door. After a large and unladylike yawn, she opens the door with as much of a smile as she can muster. Outside, she is greeted by the smiling face of her former classmate Cheerilee.

‘Cheerilee.’ Yawn. ‘What are you doing here?’ Rarity asks.

‘I was just coming to see if you needed any help getting ready for your first lesson, fellow teacher,’ Cheerilee replies.

‘Excuse me?’

‘Your special after school program.’ Rarity returns a blank stare. ‘On how to be a proper lady. You have a number of eager young fillies ready to learn.’

Rarity thinks for a moment. ‘Wait. That should have just been a one-on-one lesson. Not a whole class.’

‘But the mayor loved your idea so much that she quickly approved your class. So many parents signed their fillies up so fast, including your own.’

Rarity groans, knowing exactly the reason why Sweetie Belle was signed up.

‘So.... Do you want any pointers before I head off?’ Cheerilee offers. ‘I know some of my colleagues at the high school are willing to help too.’

‘Thank you. Right now, I just need some coffee.’

‘Okay. I’ll make sure to have the schoolhouse cleaned up for when you arrive this afternoon.’ Cheerilee starts prancing away. ‘See you later, fellow educator!’

Rarity forces a smile and waves. She quickly rushes back upstairs. She had turned her mobile off early in the morning due to an annoyingly large number of emails and text messages interrupting her beauty sleep. She quickly scans over the messages. Most of them are announcing students joining her new class or about the basics of hosting an after school program. The key one she is looking for is the very first one received.

‘Rarity. Sorry. This got little away from me. TWP. PS: The three hundred I gave you yesterday should cover it.’ the message reads.

‘That bastard.’ Rarity growls.

She then realizes something that she just saw. She gets out the cheque from the day before. It is identical except the amount is now three hundred bits. Rarity ponders how it could have changed as she heads back down to the kitchen to make herself the largest espresso she dares.

Rarity looks over her class in the minutes before she is required to start. There is an unusual gamut of ages sitting in the small schoolhouse. At one side, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are sitting together, obviously sentenced to this fate by their parents, given the furious messages filling Rarity’s voicemail. Scootaloo is even sporting a large shiner that she claims is from running into a tree as she chased Apple Bloom, but Applejack’s testimony does not match. Behind them are classmates Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, obviously there to show their classmates that they are the better ladies. Next to them are four middle-school fillies. Most seem to know each other. Filling out the class are five older students from the high school. Front and center of them is the queen herself, Rei. She is beaming the biggest smile, obviously hiding some dastardly plot. At the back of that group is a magenta unicorn colt. He looks more bored than out of place. Outside, Cheerilee taps on the door and waves happily. Rarity forces another smile as she knows she has her work cut out for her.

‘Um... Yes. Welcome to a special set of lessons on how to be a proper lady. You are all either here by choice’ -- some of the fillies look proud -- ‘or your parents felt you could use some refinement.’ Sweetie Belle cringes while Rei beams brighter, somehow literally. ‘Uh, I am sure we will all get to know each other over time, uh, which, I guess, brings us to the topic I wanted to cover first: the proper lady’s greeting. Miss Tsukiyo, will you assist me?’

‘Right on!’ Rei leaps up. She is immediately smacked in the head with a ruler Rarity is levitating. ‘Ow! WTF yo!’ She is smacked again.

‘You really want to know?’ Rarity says down to Rei. ‘First, your reaction was unrefined. A lady does not shout “right on” and go flying about the room when called upon. Second, a lady does not swear nor does she utter the pretense of swearing. Last, a lady would never ever use a masculine participle.’

‘How did you...’

‘A lady pays attention to every detail, Miss Tsukiyo.’ Rarity places the ruler behind her ear in a quick draw position. ‘Now, if you will be so kind as to pick yourself up, shall we begin again?’

‘Hai, ojoosama,’ Rei grumbles.

‘Now, Miss Tsukiyo, we are just doing a simple greeting. Do you think you can handle that?’

‘Hai, ojoosama,’ Rei moans again, barely dodging another ruler swipe.

Rarity smirks. She gives Rei a slight bow. ‘It is a pleasure to meet you.’

‘Sup.’ SLAP. ‘OW!’ Rei holds her sore muzzle. ‘I think that drew blood...’

Rarity giggles to herself. This is going to be fun. She turns to the horrified class. ‘A lady always responds gently and subtly. She does not greet even a stranger in an impersonal manner. She always shows respect.’

Rei raises a hand. ‘May I see a nurse? I taste pennies, and I think my eyes match Derpy’s.’

The class laughs. Rarity growls and instantly everypony is quiet.

‘You will not tease her henceforth. It is not nice to make fun of how somepony was born or of a condition they were cursed with. A lady treats everypony equally. Understood, Miss Tsukiyo.’

‘But you’re the one that made me all derpy just now.’

‘Do you really want to get into this now? When your guardian left your fate in my hooves?’

Rei grumbles and sits back. This is not fun anymore, and she is going to tell Wanderer-san and Luna-hime about it. She will show Miss Stuffypants. Oh crap! She is looking this way!

‘So do you understand what you have to do, class?’ Rarity asks.

‘Yes, Miss Rarity.’

‘Good. Then get to it.’ This should eat up the rest of the time.

The class gets up and starts milling about, practicing their proper greetings with each other. Rei looks around confused for a moment then leaps into action. Rarity sighs as she plans her next move.

Much to Rarity’s surprise and relief, the exercise of practicing proper greetings lasted the entire lesson period, with only a minimal amount of bloodshed. She will have to find a softer implement by the next lesson. The fillies were now practicing their proper goodbyes as they leave the classroom. Conveniently, the colt is one of the last to leave. Rarity catches him as he is about to leave.

‘Excuse me, Mister...’ Rarity begins.

‘Soufflé. Strawberry Soufflé.’ He grimaces. ‘Thank you so much for ending before Rei could get to me. I already can’t live down my name and appearance. I heard the suffix she was using. I... Just thank you.’

Rarity thinks for a moment. Rei was using her Neighponese suffixes in place of ‘miss.’ Rarity was fine with it since they designate a form of respect. She thinks a bit harder then has to stifle a laugh as she gets it.

‘I see you get it.’ Sou-san groans.

Rarity gets a handle on her giggles. ‘Sorry. Is there something different you would wish to be called?’

‘Well, online I go by Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.’

Rarity is a little shocked. ‘I think Stormy will do nicely.’

‘Um, thanks? I don’t know. I have never had a nickname before. ... Or talked to a filly for this long.’

‘Oh, uh, sorry. I meant to talk to you about why you are in this class...’

‘I did not sign up on my own. I’ll have you know that.’

‘Oh?’

‘Well, you saw Scoots’ eye, right?’ Rarity nods. ‘Our fathers are friends. My dad is more of a psychological bent. So when this class came along, he knew just how to treat his magenta son with a baking special talent. Not that being sous chef is much better, dad...’ Stormy grumbles.

‘I am sorry to hear that. So you mean you are not...’

‘What? No? That is a pretty rude thing to ask.’

‘Again, sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. I would never make fun of a way any pony is born.’

‘Whatever.’ Stormy starts leaving.

‘Stormy...’ Rarity calls after him.

‘Yes?’

‘Since you are stuck in the class for the long haul, I will try to make it easy on you and have more gender-neutral lessons.’

Stormy thinks. ‘Thanks. I guess. See ya next time.’

Rarity sighs once more before collecting her things and wondering if this is really a good idea.

A couple days later, Rarity is setting up for her next lesson. Once again, the fillies have segregated themselves by age and gender, with Stormy in a virtual nopony’s land in a back corner. Rei is glaring at Rarity as if she is trying to make the unicorn explode with her mind. Rarity sighs as she consults her etiquette guides one last time before starting. Suddenly, there is a quick knock on the door. The class looks over to see The Wandering Physicist enter the room.

‘Sorry to interrupt,’ The Intruding Physicist starts. ‘Just needed to drop something off real quick. I am Rei’s guardian, just so you know. Stop by The Power Block anytime to tell me all about how good friends you are with her.’ Rei moans a little in embarrassment. ‘Anyway, Rarity, Rei told me about her treatment last lesson, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t remind me of how we first met. I would be upset if you struck her with a ruler again.’

‘I am sorry,’ Rarity apologizes.

‘Think nothing of it. In fact, that is why I got you this.’ The Wandering Physicist sets a sack of oranges on the table.

‘What is this?’ Rarity asks.

‘They don’t leave a mark...’ Scootaloo mumbles.

The few that get what the statement grimace.

‘Anyway.... I should be heading off,’ The Wandering Physicist says. ‘I might make a stop by foal services on the way...’ He waves to the class. ‘Remember, come by my shop to tell me all about how great Rei is and how many friends she has.’

Rei growls as she munches an orange. ‘I hate you so much.’

The next couple of lessons go about as well as they can. The majority of the fillies behave and try to learn. Stormy shows as much or more progress than the fillies, and they start opening up to him more. Rei still causes a modicum of trouble, but it is more due to cultural clashes between Rarity’s Equestrian etiquette and Rei’s Neighponese etiquette. Eventually, the lesson Rarity has been dreading most arrives, the day on the cheque The Wandering Physicist wrote for her. Unfortunately, the day of the class is on a weekend so she has to fend for herself. To play it as safe as possible, she has scheduled the day’s lesson to be held in the park. What sort of damage can be done at the park?

Rarity leads her class out to the center of the park. She and Sweetie Belle are carrying a number of baskets. The class gathers in a clearing and wait for Rarity to begin. Rarity sets out the baskets in front of her.

‘Now, class, today’s lesson will be about...’

‘Frisbee!’

Rei shoots off in a white-and-blue streak before Rarity can react. The rest of class watch as the pegasus disappears. Rarity sighs and shakes her head.

‘As I was about to say, we are going to have an afternoon social here in the park.’ Rarity levitates a piece of paper to each of the baskets. ‘In your assigned groups, you will set up a proper picnic and demonstrate all of the proper behaviors we have learned so far.’ The class starts looking over the assigned groups. ‘I tried to split you into groups that would best challenge your social skills. Now, you have to be careful since this is china imported from...’

‘Incoming!’

Rei comes flying in and crashes through all of the baskets and straight into Rarity, sending both of them tumbling in the mud.

‘Sorry,’ Rei moans as she tries to figure out what happened.

Rarity wipes the mud from her face. She looks around to assess the damage. Her spa treatment is totally undone. Her hair is a wreck. Her picnics are completely ruined and most of her expensive china is shattered. Her worst enemy is prone in front of her pretending to look apologetic. Rarity steams as she holds back a scream.

‘I’d run if I were you,’ Sweetie Belle warns.

Rei looks around. All of the knives suddenly shoot up from the ruined baskets. Rarity is literally ready to shoot daggers.

‘Shimata.’

Rei takes off flying as fast as she can with Rarity and her mass of knives in tow. Rei yelps loudly as a precision knife shoots past the tip of her wing. It is like Rarity makes a living in a profession that requires an eye for detail and precise handling of sharp objects. Rei barely dodges another pair of knives that embed themselves into a tree. Rei sees the perfect escape. She takes aim and shoots under a park table as knives embed themselves above her. The family at the table panics and flees as well. Rei aims for the next table but takes another knife to the wing, slicing through several pinions. A quick look back confirms that Rarity is both still there and down to her last two knives. Rei turns back just in time to plow right into an oncoming table. It gets a cheap shot in on her, flips over and pins her to the ground. Rarity steps up to Rei.

‘Do you have any idea how much trouble you caused?’ Rarity growls.

‘About fifty meters worth?’ Rei nervously laughs as she looks over the trail leading up her predicament.

Rarity shakes and gives a shrill shriek. She takes aim with her weapons, and they take flight. They stop centimeters from Rei’s head. The Wandering Physicist and Twilight rush up.

‘Rarity! You could have seriously hurt her!’ Twilight says as she helps Rei from under her entrapment.

‘I see she put the five hundred bits I gave you to good use,’ The Wandering Physicist comments.

‘What?’ Rarity pulls the cheque out to see the figure has changed. ‘How did you...?’

The Wandering Physicist smirks. ‘I’ll take her from here. I saw enough of it to know it was her fault. She won’t mind being grounded for the rest of the week, outside of school and your lessons of course.’

‘Literally grounded if she wants her wings to heal,’ Twilight says, surveying Rei’s wounds.

The Wandering Physicist pushes Rei forward. ‘Rei, what do you say?’

Rei looks at Rarity. ‘You’re psycho.’ A sack of oranges hits her in the back of the head. ‘I mean, I am sorry. I’ll work hard to pay the money back.’

‘Hmph. See that you do.’ Rarity turns her nose up and starts leaving. ‘... and I think it would be best if I didn’t see you for a while.’

‘See you on Mon-OW!’ Rei calls before The Wandering Physicist drags her away by the ear.

Twilight catches up to her friend. Rarity’s face is mixture of depression and fury, and she is not doing a good job of hiding it.

‘If you want, we can relocate to the library. We have the space for it,’ Twilight offers. ‘I have been reading up on Canterlot high culture and proper etiquette, if that will help.’

Rarity sighs. ‘I would love to have a friend’s help right now.’

‘I am sorry about the china. I am sure Mr Wanderer will do his best to help replace them.’

‘I know he will. I am just beginning to think that filly is a lost cause. How do you put up with her as often as you do?’

‘She behaves when Mr Wanderer is around. Otherwise, we just leave her alone or with Lucas or Kaeko. She gets along fine with them.’

‘Is it a Neighponese thing? I have tried to meet her halfway. Most of the concepts are the same.’

‘I think she is just acting out because she doesn’t want to be where she is.’ Twilight laughs. ‘I’d say she was like her father, if she and Mr Wanderer were related.’

Rarity sighs heavily. ‘It is more like she thinks that is a way to get friends.’ She shakes her head. ‘Like you said, if they were related, I’d say she was as lonely as her father.’

Twilight moans a little at the statement. The pair return to the class. They find Stormy leading the rest in cleaning up the mess Rei made.

‘I thought you only had fillies in your class. Who is he?’ Twilight asks.

‘Him? He is my best student,’ Rarity replies, beaming ear-to-ear.

A week passes. Despite the failure of the last trip, Rarity has arranged another field trip for the class. She triple-checked with The Wandering Physicist for any warnings from the future and cross-referenced with Pinkie Pie to make sure all was clear on the Pinkie Sense front as well. With a clear forecast, Rarity leads the class to her shop where she has prepared a special display for them. Before them stand a number of dresses and other outfits. A number of the fillies ‘ooo’ and ‘aw’ over them. Rarity takes the compliments in stride.

‘Since our last field trip was so spectacularly ruined’ -- Rarity makes note to glare especially hard at Rei -- ‘I have set up a special test to see what we have learned so far.’ She stands beside the display. ‘Before you stand a number of ensembles. Only a couple are ones for a proper lady. You each will get one try to find them all.’ A ruler levitates behind her ear. ‘Be warned. There will be consequences for wrong answers.’

Most of the class gulp and step back for fear of being the first to get a wrong guess. Sweetie Belle shoots forward and raises a hoof.

‘I know!’ She chimes in.

‘Very good, but it would be cheating for you to answer,’ Rarity replies. ‘It is good to see my fashion lessons are finally taking hold.’

‘Ah!’ Sweetie Belle complains as she collapses to the ground in a huff.

‘That one!’ Rei shouts as she points at an outfit. The ruler is swift and accurate. ‘OW! Come on!’

Rarity levitates the outfit out to the class. ‘And what made you pick this one?’

‘Well, look at it.’ Rei replies. ‘It has a cool pointy hat. It is starry and swirly, and the bells are awesome!’

‘This, Miss Tsukiyo, is my friend Twilight’s old Nightmare Night costume. I can see where your head truly lays if you think a costume is proper attire.’

The class laughs at Rei who sits down in a huff. They start analyzing the outfits again. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo push forward.

‘That one! The one with the galoshes,’ Apple Bloom says.

‘No! The one that looks like armor!’ Scootaloo guesses.

Slap. ‘Ow!’ Slap. ‘Ow!’ Rarity corrects with her ruler.

‘Told you,’ Sweetie Belle mumbles.

‘Those... travesties are rejected Grand Galloping Gala outfits designed by your respective idols. I kept them as a reminder of what truly horrible fashion sense can be unleashed on the world.’ Rarity scowls at the outfits. ‘Seriously. A drunken Discord could come up with something with better fashion sense in his worst nightmare.’

‘But, the armor is twenty percent cooler than the rest,’ Scootaloo pouts.

‘Excuse me, Miss Rarity,’ Silver Spoon butts in. ‘I know which one correct.’ She points at a dress. ‘That one.’ Slap. ‘OW! My lawyer will hear about that!’

‘One of my best friends is a princess. Try me,’ Rarity replies as she brings the dress out. ‘Now, why did you pick this one, Miss Spoon?’

‘It is looks like something a princess would wear. It is so pink and frilly.’

‘Hmm. Technically, it is something a princess wore, but that was originally ruined as well. I just fixed this up since it seemed like a waste. Still, it too was designed for Nightmare Night.’

The rest of the class look even harder at the dresses. Even though a number of the obvious wrong answers are eliminated, the last dress seemed correct to most. From the back, Stormy casually raises a hoof.

‘Mr Stormy? Would you like guess?’

‘Yeah. That is one of them,’ Stormy points to Rarity’s Gala dress.

‘What? How did you know?’

‘It efficiently mixes form and function while blending elegance with the right amount of flash so as not to stand out.’ The fillies stare at the lone colt who seems to know more than he should. ‘... Also, it seems to be missing a slipper.’

Rarity blushes. ‘Yes, well, there was an incident and it was lost.’ She moves the dress to one side. ‘Now, who else wants to try?’

Rarity is heading to The Power Block. She has no idea why she was summoned, but she has been promised a reward. She enters the shop and sees the owner at the counter as usual. However, the box with him is unusual.

‘Ah! Rarity! Your order arrived today,’ The Wandering Physicist cheers.

‘Order? What order?’ Rarity asks. She notices something different. ‘Wait. Are you growing a beard?’

The Wandering Physicist smooths his goatee. ‘Yeah. Twilight usually makes me shave, but she is visiting her parents in Canterlot this week.’

‘She just left two days ago.’

‘I hope to go full Star Swirl by the time she gets back.’

‘Who?’

‘Somepony I used to hang with. He’s crazy.’

Rarity gives The Wandering Physicist a queer look. ‘I am beginning to think the same thing.’

The Wandering Physicist stares blankly. ‘Anyway, your replacement china for the ones ruined the other day. A little pegasus had to call in a few favors to get them.’

Rarity opens the box and levitates a dish out. She gasps and almost drops the dish.

‘Are these what I think they are?’

‘Same design as at the palace. Well, some are the same as the thousand-year-old ones that they use now. Some are.... of slightly more recent construction.’

‘Slightly more recent?’ The Wandering Physicist mimes a whooshing sound. ‘Ah. You really like using that thing, don’t you?’

‘Not as much as it seems.’

Rarity gives the china a closer look. ‘Hmm. What did the little imp have to do to procure these?’

‘You notice she has not been around recently.’

‘Thank Celestia for that.’

‘Luna, actually. She is working off the cost as Luna’s personal assistant while Twilight is away too. It is always good to have travel buddies.’

‘Seems the only way to get her to be responsible for something is to force it upon her.’

‘She can’t be that bad.’

‘Hmpf. She might be smart and likable in some regard, but it seems her main modus operandi is sheerly to torture the nearest authority figure for the minor attention it garners from her classmates.’

‘I have never gotten a complaint from any of her other teachers.’

‘Probably because she is much more passive in normal circumstances.’

Some game cases are set on the counter. The Wandering Physicist and Rarity look over to see Stormy. He is currently looking for his bit pouch.

‘Mister Stormy,’ Rarity greets.

‘Ah, Mister Soufflé,’ The Wandering Physicist says.

‘How did you...’

‘You have a membership card with us. Not to mention you registered for the CoD tourney, Stormageddon.’

‘Hmm. Right.’

‘Now, what were you saying about Rei?’

‘Just that she is pretty laid back at school. She tries to get attention, but most of our classmates ignore her and the teachers are better at controlling unruly students... No offense, Miss Rarity.’

‘None taken,’ Rarity replies.

‘Does she have many friends? That was the main reason I signed her up,’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘She has about as many as I do.’

‘Uh...’

‘That means she has none,’ Rarity whispers. ‘Sorry, Stormy.’

‘Meh.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. Sounds like her father at that age...

‘Sorry, Mr Wanderer. That was what you asked for, right?’ Stormy says.

‘Yeah. Thanks. It is good to know that there is at least one of her classmates looking out for her.’

‘What? No. Um,’ Stormy stutters. ‘We’re just in a couple classes and then with Miss Rarity. I mean... I don’t think if she even notices me.’

‘Tell me about it,’ Lucas mumbles to himself as he comes out of the back. ‘Sorry to interrupt, boss, but inventory is done.’

‘Thanks, Lucas. Mind helping Miss Rarity with her package?’

‘That is just code for you got too many dishes for you to carry,’ Lucas laughs as he lifts the package with his magic.

‘Thanks. And here you go.’ The Wandering Physicist slides the games to Stormy in a bag.

‘But I didn’t pay for these yet.’

‘They’re used so the money wouldn’t go to the developer anyway. Plus, you gave me some good insight.’

Rarity smirks. ‘Ha. What more would you expect from my best student?’ She turns to leave. ‘Now come along, Lucas. I have more errands to run before I head home.’

Lucas moans as he follows Rarity out of the shop.

Rarity packs up after her most recent class. It has been a successful one. The students are doing well. Rei is even behaving herself, probably from exhaustion from all of the work Luna put her through. The lessons appear ready to draw to a close, and Rarity is in the midst of devising a proper final exam. After most of the students have left, Stormy approaches Rarity.

‘I might not be coming to classes any more,’ he says rather bluntly.

Rarity is shocked. ‘I am surprised to hear that. May I ask why?’

‘It is because of you,’ Rarity blushes deeply. ‘It is nothing like that. You have given me the courage to stand up to my father. I’ve applied to a baking job in Fillydelphia. I have an interview for it next week. I’m leaving whether or not I get it.’

‘I am very sad to see you go, but it sounds like you are adamant about leaving. I know you will be missed.’

‘Thank you, Miss Rarity.’

Stormy bows and takes his leave. Rarity sighs sadly but returns to her work.

Later that night, Rarity returns home after doing some shopping. She is all ready to make a fantastic dinner for herself. As she nears her home, she hears shouting and the distinct sounds of Ponyville’s finest making an arrest. She sets her shopping at her porch and decides to get on the gossip train early. She makes her way over to the location of the shouting. As she nears, she picks up her pace. Outside a house, a dark blue unicorn is being escorted away by the Ponyville police. He is shouting all sorts of obscenities and racial epithets at the officers and the pony he was in conflict with. At the residence, an EMT is tending to Stormy. The colt nods at Rarity as she rushes over.

‘It’s cool. She’s a friend,’ Stormy tells the EMT to let her near.

‘What happened here?’ Rarity demands.

‘Well, I got into telling my dad off as I told you earlier.’ Stormy answers. ‘Things got a little heated and well, this happened.’

‘Are you okay?’

‘Meh.’

‘His right foreleg is broken and he has a pretty nasty crack on his horn,’ The EMT explains. ‘I am surprised he hasn’t passed out from the pain.’

‘But he has an important job interview out of town that is coming up. Will be able to make it?’

‘Since his dad will be in jail and he has no other relatives in the town, he’ll be lucky if we let him out of the hospital any time soon.’

‘It is fine, Miss Rarity,’ Stormy gives a weak grin. ‘I can take care of myself. I can be strong for you, too.’

The EMT pushes Rarity back. ‘Sorry. We have to get him to the hospital now. You can see him in the morning during regular visiting hours.’

The EMT helps Stormy onto a stretcher and a pair of pegasi fly him away. Rarity sadly watches her new friend leave again. Then she gets an idea and takes off galloping.

‘I’m coming! I’m coming!’ Twilight shouts as she heads downstairs to answer the door.

Twilight opens the door, and Rarity bursts in and grabs Twilight.

‘Help me, Twilight Sparkle! You are my only hope!’ Rarity pleads.

Twilight giggles at the inadvertent reference. ‘It is a little late, but I am always there for a friend.’ She levitates a tape measure over. ‘There you go.’ She giggles at her joke.

‘If this is supposed to be a joke, we are not amused.’

‘Sorry. I have been waiting to do that to you for a long time.’ Twilight smiles as Rarity growls. ‘Now, how can I help you?’

‘This is for a friend. It seems he has something wrong with his horn, and he needs it for a very important opportunity soon.’

‘Did “this friend” use their horn for a purpose it wasn’t intended for?’

‘No, he...’

‘Did he put it somewhere it was not supposed to go?’

‘No, what happened...’

‘Was the horn overly-used and now is chaffed?’

‘Twilight! I never thought you would be so crude!’

‘Sorry. Rainbow was over last night and we watched a lot of the standup comedy she likes. It has been a little stuck in my head since then.’ Twilight has one last laugh. ‘Sorry. What can I help you with?’

Before Twilight can make another poorly-timed joke, Rarity blurts out the problem. ‘One of the students in my class was leaving town soon for a job interview and when he confronted his father about it, he got his horn cracked in the ensuing conflict. He needs his horn to help with his special talent to get the job. I need some way to help get his horn repaired quickly.’

Twilight is caught off guard. ‘A cracked horn is pretty serious. There might be spells out there to repair one, but you are talking about using magic on a magic object. There are bound to be risks. Natural healing is best.’

‘The cure need not be magical. For all I care, it can be homeopathic mumbo jumbo as long as he is better faster,’ Rarity begs.

‘I’ll see what I can find in my books but if you are really desperate for crazy remedies, you should ask Zecora or Mr Wanderer.’

‘Of course! I’ll go consult them right away!’ Rarity grabs Twilight in a big hug. ‘You are the best friend anypony could wish for.’

‘When you see Mr Wanderer, tell him to shave that damn thing off.’

Rarity laughs. ‘Will do.’

Rarity rushes back out of the library and on to her next friend. Twilight sighs and starts going to her books. Owlowiscious flies down to help.

‘Owlowiscious, it looks like it will be a long night.’

There is a loud pounding at the back door of The Power Block. The Very Unhappy Physicist stomps down the stairs to answer the door.

‘This better be important!’ He shouts. ‘I am in the middle of precious bonding time with my kid!’

He throws the door open to see the extremely frazzled Rarity.

‘This better be good. I am busy pwning n00bs.’

Rarity is shocked with what she sees. ‘Beard!’

Instead of the relatively small goatee from a few days ago, The Bearded Physicist now has a massive beard. Rarity is certain it makes up the majority of his mass. She is so transfixed by the beard that she cannot maintain eye contact. It is so slovenly yet appealing. It goes against everything she knows about fashion and good taste, but she must learn its secrets.

‘Did Twilight send you here about that? Well, you can tell her I am not shaving until she apologizes to it.’ The Wandering Beard states.

‘No, it is not... beard...’

‘Right. I went from JoColt to full-on Galifianakis since you last saw it.’ The Bearded Beard says. He then sighs. ‘Fine. You can do what you want. Just be gentle.’

Rarity looks at the face behind the beard then reaches out with a hoof. She gently taps the beard, quickly retracting. She reaches out again and gets a good feel. She giggles wildly and starts rubbing her horn up and down the beard.

‘Wooo! This feels so good!’ Rarity cheers.

‘Rarity. Public.’

‘What?’ Rarity realizes what she is doing. She blushes. ‘Oh. Sorry. I got a little away from myself.’

Beard Beard Beard sighs. ‘Now, how can I help you?’

‘Right. There was an unfortunate incident earlier, and my student Stormy received a crack on his horn. Twilight is looking for a way to help with the healing process from her end, but she also suggested asking you for assistance.’

‘A cracked horn, eh?’ Rarity is drawn in again as The Wandering Physicist strokes his beard. ‘Best thing I can suggest is keeping it wrapped and monitoring the healing process carefully.’

‘Isn’t there anything you can do with your advanced science?’

‘Off the top of my head, all of the things I can do or give you could seriously damage more than just his horn.’

‘Please. There must be something. His future depends on it.’

‘I’ll see what I can do. I’ll see you in the morning with an answer.’

‘Thank you, good sir. You are a class act.’ Rarity gives a small bow. She then buries her muzzle in the beard and breathes deeply. She exhales in ecstasy. ‘Ah yeah. That’s the stuff.’

Rarity trots away in a daze as the beard shakes itself in disapproval, causing The Wandering Physicist’s head to move too.

The next morning, Rarity and Twilight are waiting outside of the hospital. They are trying to stay warm.

‘Where is he?’ Rarity complains. ‘He said he would meet us in the morning.’

‘Are you sure he said that?’ Twilight asks.

‘I have no reason to mislead you. He clearly stated that he would be here in the morning.’

‘Normal morning or his morning?’

‘I don’t follow.’

‘Well, he normally gets up around noon, give or take a hour,’ Twilight explains.

‘Ooh... We might have a bit of a wait.’ Rarity pouts a little. ‘And I wanted to get me a piece of that beard again.’

Twilight gives Rarity a look that is a fair combination of confused and disgusted. Just then, Rei flies up and lands next to the mares.

‘Sorry I am late. No worries. He got your messages,’ Rei greets.

‘Did he tell you anything that could help?’ Rarity asks.

‘Yeah. He said to give Twilight this.’ Rei pulls a small package from under her wing and gives it to Twilight. ‘Well, he didn’t really say it, but the note on it said to give it to you.’

‘Did he have any instructions on what it is?’ Twilight asks.

‘No... All he really said was, “Shut the f...” OW!’ Rei holds the side of her head and glares at Rarity.

‘What? I didn’t do anything,’ Rarity defends.

‘I know. That just happens when I try swearing. Thanks a lot.’

‘So some of my teaching is getting through to you!’ Rarity poses with her forelegs in the air. ‘I am the best teacher ever!’

Rei just growls at Rarity. Twilight looks over the package.

‘Whatever this is, we should get it to Stormy quickly.’ Twilight states.

‘I’ll go inform the doctor.’ Rarity heads into the hospital.

The other two follow with Twilight examining the package as carefully as she can. Inside, she finds a small jar and a stack of notecards.

‘Don’t play with the wheelchairs,’ Twilight says as she looks over the notecards.

Rei climbs down from a wheelchair she found. ‘You’re no fun.’ The top note card is levitated over to her. ‘Wanderer-san is no fun.’

Rarity motions for them to follow as a doctor leads them to Stormy’s room.

‘Mr Soufflé seems to be doing fine. We set his leg and wrapped his horn,’ The doctor explains. ‘We gave him some pain medication, and he has been resting since then.’

The doctor opens the door to the room, revealing Stormy laying in bed. The colt is quickly turning his bedside lamp on and off. He looks over at the visitors.

‘Doc, get me a book or something. I am so bored,’ Stormy moans.

‘You should be sleeping.’

‘Too bored. Can’t I go home?’

‘Between your injuries and your young age, we cannot allow it. Besides, you have visitors.’

Stormy looks. ‘Oh. Welcome Miss Rarity, Tsukiyo-san, and, uh...’

‘Twilight Sparkle. We met briefly after the picnic incident,’ Twilight greets.

‘Right. Sexy librarian. That totally works for me.’ Twilight blushes. ‘So what brings you by my miserable existence?’

‘We hopefully have a way to aid in your convalescence,’ Rarity explains. ‘Mr Wanderer has access to various remedies that should speed you to a quick recovery.’

‘As your doctor, I cannot recommend this treatment without any direct medical evidence.’ A notecard levitates in front of him. ‘Hmm. Interesting if true.’

Twilight shrugs. ‘I find what he has to say convincing.’

Stormy looks at Rarity. ‘Miss Rarity, do you trust this treatment?’

Rarity thinks. ‘I may not know Mr Wanderer as well as Twilight or Rei, but I know him well enough that I would trust whatever treatment he recommends.’ She pauses. ‘Also, his beard is one spoken of in legends.’

Twilight and Rei facehoof.

Stormy shrugs. ‘Works for me.’

‘Excellent!’ Rarity cheers.

‘You won’t live to regret this,’ Twilight says. Everypony turns to her in shock. ‘What? The card said I should say that.’

‘I think you should share those cards with us before you continue,’ the doctor advises.

Twilight sighs. ‘Fine.’ She clears her throat. ‘Special treatment for horn repair. Contents: one jar of special treatment. Do not store in temperatures above 32C. Side effects include but are not limited to: EM sensitivity, weakened magic, magical outbursts, phantom horn syndrome and pregnancy. Read to Stormy - “You always wanted to be a father.” ’

‘This guy is sane, right?’

‘Imitate me as best as possible and say - “Trust me. I’m a doctor.” ’

‘Doctor of what!’

‘Reply to Stormy - “Never you mind!” ’

‘Wow. He really prepared,’ Rarity muses.

‘You don’t know the half of it.’ Twilight and Rei moan. They look at each other, then Twilight turns back to the cards.

‘Anyway... Carefully unwrap the horn. Take a small amount on the hoof. Do not use any other means of application. Read to Stormy - “This will only hurt a bit.” Apply treatment. Pause for effect. “And by a bit I mean a lot.” Hmm. Must burn or something. Rewrap horn. Read to Stormy - “In eleven months, think of me when you have to pick out a name.” ’ Twilight sighs. ‘Anyway, it just goes on to say that it advances the healing process by about a week. This is definitely far more effective and far less risky than anything I found.’

‘You’re not the one that is going to get knocked up by some odd ointment,’ Stormy complains.

‘Hmm... After hearing that, are you sure you want to proceed?’ the doctor asks.

Stormy looks down as he thinks. He lets out a big sigh.

‘Screw it. My life is already messed up. A little pain is nothing if it means I can get better even a week faster.’

‘Okay. I’ll get a nurse in here to give you the treatment.’

‘Actually, doc. I’d like it if Miss Rarity did it. If it is going to burn like hell, I want somepony I know who will be gentle applying it.’

‘If you insist...’

‘I’d be happy to help my friend,’ Rarity states. She takes the jar of ointment. ‘I promise to be as gentle as can be. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we should have some privacy to keep his masculinity intact.’

The other ponies leave the room with Rei looking back to try to get a good look. The door is closed. After a few seconds, a loud yell is heard from the room.

‘Son of a bitch! That burns!’

Twilight and the doctor sigh while Rei moans. She will just have to find some other entertainment for today.

A few days later, Stormy is still in the hospital. He is unable to convince the doctor to allow him to go home since he is still an unemployed minor and thus unable to support himself. Rarity had the class make him a gift basket, and Rei even brought him a free game from The Power Block, so he is not too bored. Currently, he is just laying in bed and moaning at the ceiling. The door to his room opens and the doctor, Rarity and a police officer enter.

‘This is the worst birthday party ever,’ Stormy says as he sees the group.

‘Actually, Mr Soufflé, we have some bad news for you,’ the doctor says. ‘You’re going to be let go.’

‘About damn time.’

‘It is not as good as it sounds,’ the officer says. ‘Your father’s political group has raised his bail and are threatening to sue if you are not released into his custody.’

Stormy collapses back into his bed. ‘Ah fu...’

‘Language, mister!’ Rarity yells.

‘Foal services has a good case against your father.’

‘Good.’

‘But we still have the problem with your release. If you had any sort of apprenticeship or employment...’

‘I know. I am screwed. Can’t you just put me in a foster home or something?’

‘Mister Stormy, I have a better idea, if you will listen,’ Rarity offers. Stormy moans and looks at her. ‘Since I am not old enough to take you in as foster foal and you have no relatives nearby, I offer you an apprenticeship at Carousel Boutique.’

‘Uh... baking pony, not sewing pony. Not to mention I still have months until my horn is healed even with that week shaved off. Literally shaved off since it still burns.’

‘You do know my apprenticeship requires you to be on call at my whim, thus necessitating you to stay at my residence.’

‘The most gorgeous pony in town offers you a room. Take it, son,’ the officer adds.

Rarity escorts Stormy to Carousel Boutique. They are going slow since he is using a crutch.

‘I know you are still convalescing, but I will still have to assign you work just so that we can maintain the apprenticeship. I hope you are good at filing and filling out requisition forms.’

‘Oh yeah. My cutie mark isn’t really a soufflé. It is a filing cabinet for the ERS. I have just been faking it the whole time.’

‘Careful, Mister Stormy. Today is still a lesson day. In fact, it is the final. You are still being graded.’

Stormy groans. ‘I knew this was too good to be true.’

The pair arrive at Carousel Boutique, and Rarity starts opening the door.

‘Do not fret. I have something special planned.’

Rarity opens the door fully, revealing a party underway. The whole class is dressed in finery and having a very genteel time. Stormy is a little shocked. Suddenly, the CMC rush forward.

‘May we show you to your seat, mister guest of honor.’ The CMC beam their widest smile at Stormy.

He does not reply and just lets the CMC do as they wish. The other fillies smile and give Stormy warm wishes. He is eventually seated at the center table. He looks around at the going-ons.

‘What is all of this?’ Stormy asks.

‘Oh, I figured the best way to really test our cultured behavior was with the most refined party we could muster. Even Pinkie Pie is getting into the spirit.’ Rarity points out Pinkie, who is dressed as an uniformed caterer as she serves the guests. Stormy notices one pony missing from the proceedings.

‘And Rei is..?’

‘Oh her?’ Rarity grins sheepishly. ‘Well, she was going to fail anyway, so I just pawned her off to the catering staff. I think she is having more fun that way.’

‘Okaerinasaimase, goshujinsama!’ Rei shouts as she flies over to Stormy’s table and bows.

Stormy blushes bright red at seeing Rei dressed as a maid. Rarity looks the colt over.

‘Have you ever considered a beard?’ Rarity asks.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: First appearance of Stormy. Stormy is taken in by Rarity. Rei meets Stormy.

Current TWP's Beard Love Triangle: Rarity

Number of times Stormy cracked his horn: 1

Origins

Main Characters: Discord, Luna, Celestia, Queen Luna, The Doctor (10) (RoH), Pinkie (RoH), Twilight (RoH), James Sparkle, TWP, Twilight
Cameos: Rainbow Dash (RoH), Lucas (RoH), Derpy (RoH)
Original Write Date: November 6, 2011

When physicists talk about other dimensions, they mean literal physical dimensions like x,y,z,t. A layman hears that term, they think alternate realities. They think of a vast multiverse where every little change means something different. If that were true, then 99.99999999% (rounded down) of the universes would differ from their nearby neighbors by only one electron, neutrino, photon in a different location. True alternate realities are boring. But the layman did get something right. Poetic, artistically-licensed alternate universes would be pretty freaking rad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun shines bright over Equestria. A young white alicorn filly flies over the land enjoying the beautiful day. She loves the feel of the wind through her long pink mane on a warm summer day. She is especially fond of the wide grasslands that seem to go on like oceans of green. Nothing can interrupt.... What is that strange noise? It is like somepony is gasping quite hoarsely.

Celestia lands to look for the source of the strange noise. She thinks she sees a blue shape in the distance and gallops towards it, but it vanishes. Celestia looks around, confused. She stretches her wings and prepares to fly off once more.

‘Wait. Help,’ a strange voice croaks.

Celestia looks around once more. She sees movement in the tall grass and gallops. She draws near the source of the sounds and movement and comes to a screeching halt. Before her lays a beast like she has never seen before. It appears larger than Celestia’s father and looks like a mixed-up jumble of creatures from various dragons to a manticore to even a pony-like head. Celestia is certain this creature will only bring trouble.

‘Tia! Where are you, Tia!’

Celestia turns to see her younger sister Luna flying around. She knows her sister’s unusually high curiosity would bring her to the creature, and her unnatural empathy would make her want to help that thing. Celestia knows she has to just bite the bullet.

‘Down here, Lulu,’ Celestia calls up.

Luna lands near her sister. She starts troting up.

‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Where were y.... Whoa! What is that! He looks cool!’

‘Stay back!’ Celestia commands. ‘It could be dangerous.’

‘Help...’ the creature wheezes.

‘Tia! We have to help!’

‘We don’t even know what it is. It could be trying to trick us.’

‘Trick us or not, I will not let him suffer like this.’

Luna starts trying to cast a magic spell, but it fails. Celestia sighs.

‘You’re too weak still. Let me help.’

The sisters cast the healing spell together. The healing aura fills the creature, and its breathing becomes more regular. After a moment, a low chuckle starts coming from it. Celestia backs up, shielding Luna with a wing. The creature starts rising up as its laughter gets louder. It rises to its full height, which is indeed taller than the father of the two alicorns, and laughs a joyous, yet terrifying, laugh.

‘Oh glorious of days!’ The creature cheers. He smiles down at the ponies with one elongated canine tooth gleaming in the sun. ‘I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.’

The two ponies cower, not knowing what to do next. The creature goes down to the two ponies.

‘How can I ever thank you?’ the creature asks.

‘Not eating us would be nice,’ Luna squeaks, hiding under her sister’s wing.

The creature is taken aback. ‘Perish the thought! I would never harm my saviors.’ He snaps his fingers and a flower appears in his other hand. ‘How about a pretty flower for a pretty filly?’

‘I like flowers!’ Luna cheers as she pushes free of her sister.

‘Luna, wait! It could be poisonous. He could be trying to trick you,’ Celestia warns.

‘Aw! I am hurt. Does this look like a face that would trick you?’ The creature grins in a way Celestia can only describe as evilly.

‘I’ll take it first...’ Celestia says as she goes up to the flower.

Celestia examines the flower carefully. It looks like an ordinary blue flower. It has a pretty, sweet aroma that draws Celestia in. She puts her nose in and breathes deeply. Achoo! Suddenly, the sun goes down, and day switches to night. Achoo! The sun returns to it’s original position. The creature rolls on the ground, roaring in laughter.

‘What did you do to me!’ Celestia demands. She sneezes again, and it goes dark again.

Luna starts laughing too.

‘It is not funny!’ Celestia sheiks. Achoo!

‘No!’ Luna laughs. ‘It is hilarious!’ Luna turns to the creature. ‘Do me next!’

‘Achoo! You will do no such thi... Achoo!’

‘Lighten up.’ The creature ruffles Celestia’s hair. ‘It was only a simple trick with the pollen.’ He blows the flower into the wind, spreading its seeds everywhere. ‘I am sure there is a simple cure if you say the magic words.’

‘Please!’ Celestia growls.

The creature snaps his fingers and another flower appears. A quick sniff, and Celestia returns to normal. She still snarls at the creature.

‘Aw. I wanted to have some fun too.’ Luna sulks.

‘Don’t feel bad, Wittle Woona. I, the great Discord, have a feeling we will have a lot of fun together,’ Discord says with another wicked grin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Discord and Luna are the best of friends. They have spent years having fun together. Discord takes great delight playing pranks and causing chaos, all to get Luna to laugh and smile. Celestia is frustrated with the couple since she is the one always stuck cleaning up their mess. She is the one that tends to the earth ponies, the unicorns and the pegasi, when one of Discord’s pranks get out of hand. Celestia hates Discord for the things he does. She hates him more for being so close to her sister.

‘Discord!’ Celestia yells outside of Discord’s ‘meager’ ten story tower. He does not want to outshine the ‘true’ rulers of Equestria.

‘You rang?’ Discord asks as he leans out a window.

‘We need to talk!’

‘If you want to talk, why are you shouting?’

Celestia growls and takes flight. She goes to the window where Discord was to find nothing.

‘What are you doing up there?’ Discord asks from a lower window.

‘Can you be serious for once in your life?’

‘If I did that, then where would the fun in living be?’

Celestia teleports into the tower behind Discord.

‘Thank you for knocking and asking politely to come in.’

‘I have no time for your games. Were you in the northern lands yesterday?’

‘I may have been. This is a big world, and that requires a lot of chaos.’

‘Why did you change all of the polar bears black?’

‘They are not all black. Some have stripes. Oh! You should see what I did to the ponies on that eastern continent. I call them “zebra”. Pretty catchy, no? Anyway, the only reason some bears ended up with solid colors is because I started getting lazy and hungry.’

‘Is that why you and Luna were out all night? Again!’

‘Chillax, big sis. It is all good. I was a perfect gentleman.’

‘Enough! I don’t want to hear of it.’

‘Good. Because a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.’

‘You are no gentlepony.’

Discord squeals. ‘It is true! Wanna hear how many times we did it?’

Celestia stomps a hoof down. It cracks the stone under it. She has a very powerful magic spell charging on her horn.

Discord taps Celestia’s horn and instantly dispells the magic. ‘Calm down, big sis. It was only a joke.’

‘Quit calling me that.’

‘Fine, Celestia,’ Discord moans.

‘I am sick and tired of always cleaning up your mess. Stop with all of your bloody chaos!’

Celestia glares up at Discord. Discord glares back down. He smirks and stands back. He holds up a hand and a glass appears filled with what seems to be a brown milk. He drinks the glass and tosses the liquid out the window where it explodes violently.

‘No,’ Discord replies. ‘For, you see, the universe is made by chaos. You and your sister may think you control the stars and the solar and lunar cycles, but those are governed by underlying mechanics that are even beyond the control of the god of chaos myself. Any perceived change in the cycle is merely an illusion. The universe was born out of imperfection and imbalance. Stars and planets popping up out of little pockets of nothing just because there was enough something there. A chaotic imperfection, if you will. The mere fact that you dare think you have any true power over your precious sun is more laughable than an entire lifetime of chaos I can create.’

Celestia stands at her full height. ‘I am tired of your nonsense. Our parents left us this land to rule for ourselves. You can either assist us and join our order, or you can continue the path you are on.’

Discord pretends to think. ‘I think... I’ll take the fun path.’ He smirks with his one over-sized fang glinting.

‘So be it. My order will stand against your chaos.’ Celestia starts leaving. ‘And since you chose that path, I forbid you from seeing my sister. I will do all in my power to prevent your unholy relationship.’

Celestia flies from the tower leaving a scowling Discord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luna flies over Equestria overseeing her beloved night. Once again, nopony is out enjoying all of the hard work she puts into making every night perfect. Luna sighs and wishes there were some way to make everypony appreciate the night as much as she does.

Luna vainly looks around desperately for the off pony that could possibly be out. Instead, she finds a fire sending ugly smoke into her pristine night. She quickly rushes to the source to try and quench the flame. She readies a spell to cause a rainstorm to put out the fire, but she notices something interesting. ‘Hello beautiful’ and a large arrow is burning on the ground. Luna follows the arrow to find Discord waiting by a lake.

‘Discord!’ Luna swoops down and embraces Discord. ‘It has been forever!’

‘Not quite forever, but your sister tries her darnedest.’

‘Yeah... She is a meanie sometimes...’

Luna pouts a little, but Discord lifts her head and smiles, erasing all her worries until...

‘Oh my stars! The fire!’

‘Oh dear! A fire! Too bad this freak snowstorm will ruin it.’

Discord snaps his fingers. A gale picks up and the fire is instantly erased. A light snowfall starts coming down from the heavens.

‘A mid-summer ice skating, my dear?’

Discord bows and touches a toe to the lake, freezing it instantly. Luna giggles. She puts her hoof in his claw, and they take to the ice.

‘It is wonderful to see you again, Discord. We used to have so much fun together.’

‘Yes, spreading chaos is a pretty fun task, I must admit. But when you are around, the fun is doubled.’

‘Sometimes, I don’t think Tia knows the meaning of the word “fun”. It is always protocol this, and Royal Canterlot voice that. It is so boring!’

‘Come, dear. She has to keep up appearances. I mean, the beloved sun goddess who rules over the day cannot be seen doing anything as exciting as eating a chili dog.’

Luna sighs. ‘Beloved sun goddess... Some nights I just wish...’

Discord gasps. ‘Don’t ever think that. You nights are beautiful. You just have to give the ponies time to realize their splendor. I am sure that in a thousand years’ time there will be whole celebrations dedicated to your nights.’

‘You really think so?’

Discord smiles down at Luna. ‘Would I lie to a face as beautiful as yours?’

Luna blushes. Discord starts leaning in for a kiss. Luna responds by leaning up. The enraptured couple fails to notice a star going out. Suddenly, there is a loud crack, and the ice shatters. A magical force field surrounds Luna and pulls her away. She is pulled right next to Celestia’s side.

‘I warned you, demon! Stay away from my sister!’ Celestia shouts.

‘It has been over a hundred years, Celestia! She can make her own decisions now. She can buy her own insurance and everything!’

‘Tia! Please! Stop this fighting! He wasn’t trying to hurt me!’ Luna pleads.

‘I know that, but did you even stop to think about anypony else?’ Celestia turns to the still smoldering fire. ‘All of the crops are ruined by the fire and snow. How many ponies must suffer just for one pathetic attempt at a romantic gesture?’

‘If it means that I can see my beloved Luna for just one moment more, I will tear my way through your whole army and reshape your entire kingdom for that chance!’ Discord roars.

Celestia turns to her sister. ‘Luna, you see what violence he is capable of? Is this truly a being that would have your best interests at heart?’

‘But...’ He is the only one who loves my nights as much as I...

‘But nothing!’ Celestia snaps. ‘We are leaving. If I ever see the two of you together again, I swear to our parents that it will be the last time.’

Celestia flies away with Luna still in tow. Luna screams to be let free as they fade into the distance. Discord is left fuming by the lake.

‘That is the way you wish to play, is it Celestia? So be it. You may not have known this, but I have ended entire races for love before, and I will do it again if need be. Mark my words! Luna will be mine to cherish! You cannot stop the purest form of chaos and that is true love!’

Celestia meets with some ministers about new plans for expanding the capital of Canterlot. Suddenly, there is a tapping on the wall. Celestia gets on guard, and her guards get ready for anything as well. A hole is blown out of the wall, and Celestia and her guards ready powerful magics. Unfortunately, they have to duck as the main doors to the hall come flying at them.

‘Here’s Johnny!’ Discord calls as he strides calmly into the hall.

The pegasus guards immediately charge and the unicorn retainers fire their spells. Discord calmly walks through the spells. With just a touch of a claw, all of the color is drained from the attacking pegasi. The pegasi instantly turn on each other.

Discord looks down at the unicorns. ‘Run.’

The guards do not need anymore warning, and they bolt, color draining from them as they flee. Outside, a star goes out in the night sky. Discord turns to the furious Celestia. He just smirks at the powerful alicorn.

‘Please tell the lovely lady Luna that I am here for our date.’

‘I will never let you near her. Leave now and I will spare you.’

‘You spare me? Ha! That is so funny I forgot to laugh.’ Flowers and candies appear in Discords arms. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a wonderful woman to woo.’

A blast of magic vaporizes the flowers and candy.

‘Y U no like me?’ Discord pouts. ‘Is it because I oppose your feeble attempts at imposing your brand of order? No... It is something deeper.’ He walks through another powerful magic blast and runs a claw down Celestia’s cheek. ‘Is it because I have a relationship that you will never have with your sister?’

Discord is thrown across the hall with the strongest magic he has ever felt. Smoke rises from him, and he actually bleeds from a small gash on his torso.

‘You would think I hit a nerve with that.’

Celestia raises a golden yellow tiara to her head. ‘This ends here, Discord. I will see to that.’

‘Ooo! A magic hat. I have one of those too.’ Discord snaps his fingers and a paper crown reading ‘Home of the Whopper’ appears on his head. ‘Mine’s better.’

‘While you have been spreading chaos, I have been preparing,’ Celestia states. ‘I have forged these crowns,’ a onyx black tiara rests by Celestia’s throne, ‘from powerful magics specifically to counter chaos. With these six Elements of Harmony, loyalty, honesty, generosity, kindness, laughter and friendship, we will banish you from the land.’

‘Who is “we”? I only see one of you.’

‘Luna will be here shortly.’

‘Good. Because we are getting late for our dinner reservations.’

Celestia channels a blast of magic through the tiara and sends Discord across the hall again. One of his legs is turned to stone. He snarls and removes the spell encasing him. At that moment, Luna enters the hall from behind the throne. She looks terrified.

‘Tia! What is going on? Everypony is turning on each other. It is pandemonium out there.’ She looks back terrified. ‘I think I even saw a star...’

‘I’ll give you three guesses as to the cause,’ Celestia snarls as she moves between Discord and Luna.

Luna frantically looks between Discord and her sister. ‘Discord! What is going on here?’

‘I promised to do anything and everything to be with you. This is the first thing that came to mind.’

‘You are making innocent ponies hurt each other! Stop it!’

‘I did no such thing!’ Discord is taken aback. ‘I just awoke them to the truth and gave them a little introspection. How they cope is their own accord.’

‘Please end it before something really bad happens! I beg you!’ Luna pleads.

Discord sneers at Celestia. ‘At least she knows the magic words.’

Discord snaps his fingers. A blinding flash brings all of the fighting ponies back to normal. Celestia levitates the black tiara to Luna.

‘What is this?’ Luna asks.

‘A powerful defensive magic,’ Celestia explains. ‘With it we can seal Discord away forever and Equestria can finally be at peace.’

‘But it is Discord...’

‘And you have seen what he is capable of today. He is willing to make innocent ponies suffer in some perverted expression of his so-called love. He is dangerous, Luna!’

Luna cowers away from her sister.

‘Come now, Celestia. You are scaring the poor girl.’ Discord begins to advance. ‘Just let us be in peace, and I am sure all of this will blow over. One day, we will all get a beer and laugh about how silly some of us were acting, Celestia.’

Discord’s advance is stopped by a shot of magic at his feet. He looks to see a crying Luna readying another spell.

‘Please stop.’ Luna cries. ‘Just stop! I don’t want to see any more suffering.’

‘But, Luna, my dear...’

‘No Discord. I don’t want to see you again. You, you are bad. You only use your chaos for bad these days. You never use it for fun anymore.’

‘I would devote myself to fun and good and joy if I could be with you.’

‘I would like to believe you, Discord. I really would, but....’ Luna sobs. ‘Just go! This hurts enough already!’

Celestia stands with her sister. ‘You heard her. You got off lucky.’

‘So be it.’ Discord snarls.

Discord starts walking out of the hall. Distinct sobs can be heard coming from him. Celestia comforts her sister. Discord stops. A ball of magic forms in his hand. He quickly turns and throws it at the princesses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, several things could happen here. Discord could hit Celestia, Luna or nothing at all. One or the other of the sisters could valiantly save the other. Discord could even realize his folly and stop the attack himself. There are countless possible outcomes. Let us assume that Discord did try to stop his attack, but it was too late. Celestia throws herself in front of her sister and takes the mortal blow. Discord is shocked and disgusted by his actions. He freely surrenders himself to the princesses and their Elements of Harmony. Celestia dies and Luna is left on her own. That is one version of the story. You can have your own version if you wish. Let us see where this version takes us a thousand years down the line.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The city of Ponyville is under attack! Alien invaders have landed in a strange saucer-shaped craft. They attacked swiftly and seized the city before the New Lunar Republic defense force could stop them. The defense force has sealed the town and is holding off other invaders in orbit, but the foothold is already there. The Daleks have landed.

In the city, a small resistance is fighting back. The unicorn Lucas Grainsborough uses his magic to blast a patrolling Dalek. He quickly takes cover as a hail of laser fire destroys his vantage point. The pegasus Derpy Hooves draws some fire with her complex aerial skills. Both ponies make their escape to a safe location, for now. The Daleks approach the hiding place. The ponies clutch each other and pray. Suddenly, a rainbow-colored explosion bursts across the city. The Daleks stop for a moment. They turn and head towards the explosion.

‘Rainbow Dash!’ Twilight Sparkle cries as a legion of Daleks descend on her friend.

Twilight uses a spell to cut a line through the Dalek attackers to help her friends, but it is too late. Several Dalek lasers strike Rainbow Dash midair, sending the pegasus to the ground, her Element of Loyalty shattering on the ground. Twilight roars and erupts with magical energy around her. Behind a magical shield cast by Queen Luna, The Wandering Physicist is trying to console a crying Pinkie Pie. Aside, The Doctor is working on some complicated device.

‘Hurry up, Doctor!’ Luna shouts. ‘Or else we will be down to just one Element of Harmony.’

‘I am working as fast as I can!’ The Doctor shouts back. ‘These things take time.’

‘Twilight! Get back here!’ The Wandering Physicist yells.

‘I can do this, James.’ Twilight says as magical energies flow into her.

Twilight glows with magic. Her eyes and crown shine with an eerie light. Bolts of magic shoot down all of the Daleks around her as she moves on the saucer. Her horn pulses as she prepares a final spell. Suddenly, a laser shot passes through Twilight. Her spell is instantly diffused, and the rush of energy pushes everything back.

‘TWILIGHT!’ The Wandering Physicist cries as he rushes to his fallen friend.

‘James! Get back here!’ The Doctor yells.

The Wandering Physicist rushed through the advancing Daleks and their endless laser fire. He reaches the fallen Twilight and holds her up. The Daleks close in on them.

‘Twilight! I am here! Don’t leave me, Twilight!’

The Wandering Physicist sobs as he holds Twilight’s body to him. He looks up in anger and turns on the Dalek closest to him. Several shots pass through him, and he falls to the ground.

‘James!’ Luna cries.

‘He will regenerate,’ The Doctor assures. ‘We will stop them.’

The Daleks turn and close on Luna, The Doctor and Pinkie. From behind them, an insane laugh is heard. The Wandering Physicist stands as his body starts glowing.

‘Stupid bloody Daleks,’ The Regenerating Physicist growls. ‘You forgot one of the most important rules: double tap.’

A Dalek turns to the threat, but is instantly destroyed in a blast of energy. The other Daleks start backing away. The energy surrounding The Wandering Physicist starts causing him to change and mutate. His body elongates and becomes scaly. His hooves become claws like those found on various beasts of the world from dragon to manticore. His head twists and grows. A pair of mismatched horns grow from his head, and one of his teeth becomes an elongated fang.

‘Discord,’ Luna hisses.

‘Discord, you say?’ Discord muses. ‘I like that name. I think in the Dalek language it means... DEATH!’

Discord rips the dome off the Dalek nearest to him. He throws it through another Dalek. He punches a hole through the top of another Dalek dome. The Dalek shell becomes encased in electricity. The electricity arcs from Dalek to Dalek. They scream in pain as they are electrocuted to death.

‘James! Stop this now!’ The Doctor commands.

Discord pulls his claw from the Dalek and points it into the sky. A burst of energy shoots into the air. Discord stares at the sky. Tears start falling from his face.

‘It is over, Theta. It is all over,’ Discord says.

‘James. What is over?’

‘The Daleks. They are gone. They wont hurt us anymore.’

‘James, no, Discord, how could you? How could you do such a thing?’ The Doctor asks.

‘They killed her, Theta. They killed her. I couldn’t control myself. They should have killed me instead. I would have preferred they kill me instead of her. I would have given all of my lives for her.’

‘Discord... You didn’t have to...’

‘Mr... Wanderer...’

Discord and The Doctor look down and see the dying body of Twilight still breathing. Discord lifts her up and embraces her.

‘Twilight. I am so sorry, Twilight. This never should have happened. I failed you.’

‘We... we were to become one.’

‘Yes. Yes, we were. Now we cannot. I am no longer the one you loved.’

Twilight reaches up and touches Discord’s face. ‘You are still in there. You just have to...’

Twilight passes out as her breathing weakens. Discord cries in rage. Surrounding buildings crumble at the cry.

‘James! Listen to me!’ The Doctor snaps. ‘There is still a way to save you both. Just think about it! Think about it really hard!’

Discord looks down at Twilight then to The Doctor. He nods in agreement. Discord starts channeling all of his energy within him. His body starts glowing in regeneration energies once more.

‘James...’ Twilight wheezes.

‘Twilight. This will hurt a bit.’

‘Are... we... going... to... be... one..?’ Twilight gasps.

Discord just nods. He raises Twilight up to him, and they kiss. Twilight becomes engulfed in the regeneration energies as well. The energy passes from Discord to Twilight. The pair fall to the ground. Discord passes out as Twilight starts to regenerate herself.

‘What did he do?’ Luna asks as she draws near.

‘He transferred his remaining regenerations and a good deal of his consciousness to Twilight’s body. It is a very dangerous process. They probably won’t live,’ The Doctor explains.

‘What will happen to Twilight?’ Pinkie croaks as she hold back her tears. ‘Will she still be Twilight?’

‘We’ll have to wait and see.’

‘... And Discord?’ Luna asks as she looks over her former lover from both her distant and recent past.

‘You know what must be done to him.’

‘Can’t we kill him now? Save the past some suffering?’

‘We cannot change the past. Not one line! Without Discord, who knows what horrors you may have witnessed in the new timeline you create.’

‘I guess you’re right...’

‘Ugh... What hit me?’ a male voice says.

The trio look over to see a light brown alicorn with long purple hair and a pink highlight rubbing his face.

‘Glasses... where are my... No, don’t need them any more.’ The new alicorn says. ‘My head...’ He rubs higher. ‘Huh. I’m a unicorn. That’s new.’

‘That is not all.’ The Doctor points at the wings on the alicorn’s side.

‘Oh. That is different too.’

Pinkie slowly moves in close. ‘Are, are you still.... Who are you?’

‘If you are asking if I am Mr James Hayate Wanderer or Twilight Sparkle, I am both. There was a bit of a rearranging of things in the transfer, but most of who we were are still intact in here somewhere.’ He looks over at Discord. ‘We gave him some of Twilight’s rationality too in hopes that it will stabilize him enough to function with some sanity instead of just blind rage and chaos.’

Pinkie’s eyes start swelling with tears again. She locks the alicorn in a hug. ‘Mr Wandering Twilight!’

A very tired Lucas and Derpy arrive on the scene. Derpy takes one look around the battlefield and quickly empties the contents of her stomach behind the nearest pile of rubble.

‘Good timing.’ The Doctor says. ‘Lucas, I need help moving Discord here to my TARDIS. I have lots of work that needs to be finished.’

Lucas moans and starts lifting Discord with his magic. He and The Doctor start heading off. Derpy collects her self enough to pass out in her pile of mess. Luna looks at her changed friend.

‘I am sorry that I am Discord. If I had known I would be the...’

Luna shakes her head. ‘No. You are not Discord. You are James, and you are Twilight. You are my best friend and my biggest rival. Discord was a twisted shell that abused you to get its ends. It will take time, but I am sure we will get to know each other again.’

Pinkie chokes back a tear. ‘Speaking of which, what do we call you now?’

‘Hmm... I am no longer The Wandering Physicist, nor am I Discord or Twilight Sparkle.’

‘Why don’t we just use “James” still? It is pretty easy to remember,’ Luna suggests.

‘Right! James Sparkle!’ Pinkie cheers. ‘That is what you would have been called now anyway.’

‘No, I wouldn’t ha... Yeah. You’re right,’ James agrees.

‘James Sparkle. Future king of the New Lunar Republic.’ Luna giggles.

‘Uh no. Future Mr James Sparkle-Pie.’ Pinkie corrects.

‘Uh girls... I really hate to interrupt...’

The mares stop their fantasies and notice that James is watching as the New Lunar Republican army slowly enters the area. All of the ponies moan at the thought of the tough times that lay ahead for them. In the stars above, one light goes out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wandering Physicist is on the grounds of the royal palace in Canterlot once more. A formal dinner is being held for all of the mayors and city leaders from across Equestria. Since the mayor of Ponyville is sick, Twilight Sparkle has been sent instead. Not wanting to go alone, Twilight dragged The Wandering Physicist with her. In the time before the dinner, The Wandering Physicist is taking time to see the palace. He comes across a secluded manor that has a pair of guards posted outside of it. Above the manor is a large sign with Discord’s face on it.

‘Hello, Discord,’ The Wandering Physicist mumbles.

The guards snap their attention to The Wandering Physicist as he just stares at the sign. Another pony approaches.

‘Mr Wanderer, it is almost time. We should get going,’ Twilight says as she comes closer. After getting no response, she looks at the sign too. ‘I still can’t believe Celestia had us reform him and didn’t have his statue smashed or sealed in a vault.’

‘That would have been cruel. She is above that.’’

‘He would have deserved it.’

‘Would he have?’

‘Don’t make this a political thing. I don’t want any of your Celestia-bashing tonight.’

‘We’re going to have deal with at some point. Was he as evil as you claim?’

‘You had to have been around for the chaos he caused.’

‘Chaos is not evil. Chaos is a natural part of the universe. And don’t tell me the buffalo ballerinas were not funny.’

‘Well, just a little, but he turned me and friends against each other.’

‘Or did he just expose the self doubt that existed within you?’ The Wandering Physicist holds a hoof up as Twilight starts to argue. ‘I talked with the others about it. I heard their versions of the story and what they saw. Fluttershy and Applejack admit what happened to them were caused by internal feelings. It takes some prodding...’

‘I guess you are right. Not to mention what you and Pinkie showed me at your birthday.’

‘Most importantly, you did seem to learn a lesson about friendship from the whole experience too.’

‘I know you are trying to get me to say something good about him, but I still have too many negative feelings toward the whole experience.’

‘Random. Misleading. Manipulative. Taught you a lesson about friendship. Did things just for the lols. Really gets under your skin.’

Twilight scowls. ‘Discord...’

‘I was talking about myself. Who mentioned Discord?’

Twilight groans. ‘Fine, but Discord doesn’t look as good in a suit as you.’

‘I don’t know... Can you imagine him in a giant bow tie?’

Twilight giggles. ‘You’re right. Silver polyester and a bow tie. Maybe a fez. Rarity would flip.’ She giggles some more then kisses The Wandering Physicist’s cheek. ‘Take your time, but not too much, okay?’

The Wandering Physicist smiles and watches his friend leave.

‘Do you love her?’ a voice says from The Wandering Physicist’s shoulder.

‘What do you think?’ he replies. He turns and looks at Discord again.

‘You have to tell her.’ Discord sighs, ‘I missed my chance last time.’

‘Is any of what you showed me true?’

‘Does it have to be to have meaning?’

‘Are the Daleks really coming?’

‘In my time, they were here by now. It seems your Equestria is free from that fate so far.’

‘I have to go now.’ The Wandering Physicist turns and starts walking away.

‘You better tell her or I will find a way to tell her for you!’ Discord taunts.

The Wandering Physicist looks back. He grins smugly. ‘What makes you think she doesn’t already know?’

Discord is hard to write for! There! I said it! And for those who think Discord didn’t teach the Mane6 a lesson or that he is truly gone, read this.

So after I got the awesome Pinkie Still Alive idea, I got another idea: what if The Wandering Physicist was Discord? Pretty much all of these scenes and the commentary from the narrator poured into my head at that instant. Don’t get me wrong. There are better artists that created better Discord origins and better Discord ships. This story was just his origin within this universe. Well, within two universes.

The bulk of the story takes place in the collective past between the main universe and Rei’s home universe. The last two scenes are end result of the different paths. As Rei said in her origin story, Luna and James would go on to marry and have their daughter. It was really tough coming up with a way for Pinkie to be the only survivor. I really did not want to write any other on screen deaths for any of the other Elements (especially Fluttershy), but Dash’s seemed like a good idea at the time. I still hated writing that scene. Any of the writers who produce grim, dark, and sad stories have my appreciation for being able to write that material and keep food down.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: First appearance of the Rebirth of Harmony universe.

Story Events: SO! This chapter was a lot about the origins of Discord, the Elements and my Rebirth of Harmony side story. Events seen in this chapter have repercussions throughout the rest of the series. It was also one of my favorite to write. I really love the idea behind it and the mixing of the two versions of Equestria.

Story Notes: Thanks to Keep Calm and Flutter On, Discord is no longer in the statue for the final scene. That changed it from an awkward psychic conversation to what we have now. Definitely turned out for the better.

Also, as the second narration scene states, this is a way things could have happened. This is obviously not the way they happened in the canon universe. This story is not the origin of Discord. It is the origin of the Return of Harmony universe.

Obnoxious and Annoying

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, The Great and Powerful Trixie, Rei, Maxie, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash
Cameos: Steven Magnet
Original Write Date: November 7,2011

The Wandering Physicist and Twilight are enjoying a nice day out at the park. Both are completely in their element. He is using his mobile with tethering and is working on his laptop. She is buried in a book. Anypony walking by would see the perfect couple. Overhead, Rei is zipping around like crazy. Nopony would guess that in an alternate reality the fused souls of two of the most introverted ponies would father the most hyperactive pegasus after Surprise of Cloudsdale.

The Wandering Physicist adjusts the ball cap he is wearing for maximum sun blockage. Twilight negotiated him down from a full biker helmet. With his hat in place, he raises a hoof to the air with a piece of candy on the end. Rei zooms past and takes the candy without touching him. The watching ponies clap at the trick.

‘Stop that,’ Twilight says. ‘Too much sugar is bad for her.’

‘She’ll be fine,’ The Wandering Physicist assures. ‘Plus, this is good training for the circus.’

‘You’re not selling her to the circus.’

‘Awwww!’ The Wandering Physicist and Rei moans in unison.

Twilight sighs and goes back to her book. Rei zooms off to fly around again. The Wandering Physicist hits a key on his computer and sits back.

‘There. Posted the pics from our trip.’

‘Pics?’ Twilight asks. ‘We were only there overnight.’

The Wandering Physicist cackles. Twilight sighs, gets up and goes around to see the pictures. Her eyes instantly go wide.

‘You mooned Discord!’ The Wandering Physicist goes to the next pic. ‘What the hell are you doing there!’

‘Looks like they are bringing sexy back,’ Rei comments from over Twilight’s shoulder.

‘That is Discord! The god of chaos and Equestria’s worst enemy!’

‘Yeah. And he is bringing sexy back too, apparently.’

Twilight groans at Rei. She turns back to The Smirking Physicist. ‘Who took those?’

The Wandering Physicist goes to the next picture that shows him and Discord wearing the guards’ helmets, and they and a guard making funny faces. Twilight facehoofs. The next picture comes up. Rei falls to the ground laughing. Twilight looks up. The Wandering Physicist and Celestia are making funny faces next to Discord while wearing the guards’ helmets.

‘I hate you so much,’ Twilight growls.

‘The feeling is mutual,’ A boastful voice says from behind the group.

They turn to see two light blue unicorns. One is a stallion. He is posing dramatically and magically making his cape flap in the wind. The other is a very bored-looking mare who is using her magic to file her hooves. Rei recognizes the mare. Her eyes go wide, and she shoots into the sky. Everypony just thinks Rei is acting normal.

‘Can we get this over with? The Great and Powerful Trixie has better things to do,’ Trixie states.

‘It will be over soon enough.’ Maxie points a hoof at The Wandering Physicist. ‘You will pay for the insult you unfairly levied against The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie.’

‘No time. Busy.’ The Wandering Physicist turns back to his computer.

Maxie stomps the ground. ‘You can’t do that! That is not fair. Trixe, tell him that is not fair.’

‘Maxie, just play your stupid game and be done with it.’

‘Fine. Mr Hayate!’ Maxie declares.

‘That is Hayate-san if you want to get technical,’ The Wandering Physicist corrects.

‘Whatever. I challenge you to another game battle. This time The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie will not lose!’

‘Ugh. Fine. If it will shut you up.’

The Wandering Physicist closes his laptop and gets his pack with all of his hoofhelds in it. He goes over to challenge Maxie. Trixie comes over and sits across from Twilight.

‘Are you here for another magic duel too, Trixie?’ Twilight asks, glaring at her once-rival.

‘Pul-ease. The Great and Apologetic Trixie would never stoop to something as mundane as this. Not that that oaf would listen.’

‘Oh.’ Twilight is surprised.

‘Don’t think you are getting off easy,’ Trixie hurriedly says. ‘When Trixie finally one-ups you, it will be spectacular.’ She turns her nose up.

Twilight groans and goes back to her reading.

‘Your Ursa Minor trick is a popular part of my act.’

Twilight drops her book. ‘What?’

Trixie looks over. ‘I have been incorporating more illusion stories into my act. Told properly, of course. Your vanquishing of the Ursa Minor is one of my more popular stories.’

‘Well, uh, thank you?’ Twilight replies and goes back to her book.

Trixie smirks. ‘My story also has more hits on YouTube than the original video of your act.’

Twilight slams her book closed. ‘What!’

Trixie laughs. ‘Jealous much?’

Twilight blushes. ‘N-no. It is just that I didn’t know there was a video of me.’

There is a loud crack of thunder from above as Rei shoots back to the ground. She stops just above Trixie.

‘OH! MY! LUNA!’ Rei stammers. ‘You are The Great and Powerful Trixie!’

‘Guilty~~~!’ Trixie sings. Twilight rolls her eyes.

Rei squeals so hard that she could shatter glass across town. She starts dancing and doing tricks all across the sky.

‘I have that effect on some ponies,’ Trixie says to Twilight smugly.

Twilight sighs. ‘She is not from around here, so she doesn’t know your reputation.’

‘So she is from somewhere that appreciates class.’

‘Actually...’ Twilight raises hoof to lecture then stops. ‘Never mind. It is a long story.’

Rei comes back. She is pushing a mint-green unicorn she just happened to find. The unicorn is holding a camera.

‘I must have a picture!’ Rei begs.

‘Anything for a fan,’ Trixie readies a dramatic pose.

Before Twilight can escape, Rei catches her. ‘With both of you.’

Twilight moans and joins the shot. Rei slows down her excitement enough to stop for the picture. The majority of her face is an over-sized grin. The unicorn gives the camera back then flees for her life. Rei squeals again at the picture.

‘Why didn’t you get that excited when you met me?’ Twilight complains.

Rei calms down. ‘Sorry. Trixie was the only one of you I hadn’t met yet back home, and I am a huge fan of her work.’

‘Yes, I am amazing,’ Trixie brags.

‘Hmpf. I really don’t see why she would have been chosen instead of me.’

‘Um... Well...’ Rei says, looking away from Twilight and remembering her history lessons. ‘Nothing! Besides, you two are alike. You are both masters of magic. You both even have magic-themed special talents.’

‘Yeah, but my magic is practical magic. Real spells with real effects.’

‘And my illusions don’t have any real effects? Tell that to all of the amazed fans that come to my shows.’

‘But I can actually change physical objects. You only do tricks.’

‘Hey!’ Rei snaps. ‘Illusions! Tricks are something a whore does for money!’ Twilight stares back in shock. ‘... or cocaine.’

Twilight and Trixie are shocked at what they heard. Both shake it off.

‘Um... Anyway...’ Trixie starts. ‘My illusions bring joy to many. Sure, there is no direct physical change, but the emotional changes are real. A good mood can change the world.’ Rei nods besides Trixie.

‘Fine. But what about my friends? You publicly humiliated them for the sake of your act. Twice!’

‘My act has changed now. I would make amends if I could.’

‘Ooo!’ Rei disappears off into the sky.

‘I don’t like the looks of that...’ Twilight sighs.

‘Trixie! Make him be nice to me!’ Maxie moans as he comes over. ‘I want to win at least one game!’

The Wandering Physicist happily trots over and sits by Twilight.

‘You mean you made me travel all the way out here, and you couldn’t even win one game! Didn’t you have a plan in that empty shell you call a skull!’

‘Yes...’

‘What was it, I shudder to ask.’

‘I was going to beat him then gloat about it.’

Trixie facehoofs. ‘This is why your side of the family is never invited to the reunions. ... that and other, obvious reasons,’ She hisses.

Twilight turns to ask The Wandering Physicist a question. ‘Forty-seven to zero. Didn’t even lose a single Pokemon this time.’ He beams.

Trixie sighs. ‘Well, it looks like our business is done here. We should be leaving.’

‘Wait! What about apologizing to my friends?’

‘I guess we will have to make peace another time.’

‘Make peace? Is that even possible?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘I am sure my friends would love to get an apology,’ Twilight answers.

‘But would they listen? Applejack is very sensible, but Rainbow Dash is very stubborn and Rarity... Well, she just about bit my head off when I suggested getting Mongrelian barbecue after the last time I watched her sister.’

Twilight sighs. ‘You have a point.’

‘Look who I found!’ Rei sings as she drags Rainbow Dash and her cloud and Tank to the park. The Wandering Physicist laughs. Twilight facehoofs. Trixie grimaces. ‘When I told her that Trixie was here to apologize, she just could not resist the opportunity to make peace.’

‘Hmm. Well. I guess that is a good thing,’ Trixie stutters. ‘Let me begin by saying...’

‘Can it, Trixie. I don’t want to hear no phony baloney fake apology from you,’ Rainbow Dash says from her cloud. Tank nods beside his master.

‘Dash, she really means it.’ Twilight says.

‘Not you too, Twilight. I thought you of all ponies would be too smart to fall for that.’

‘I knew this was a bad idea...’ Trixie sulks.

‘Whatevs. I’m out.’

Rainbow Dash turns to fly away, but she is faced with the scariest thing she has seen in her life. Chrysalis, Discord, Nightmare Moon and Fluttershy’s Stare can not compare to a furious Rei. Electricity crackles around the small pegasus.

‘You will get down there, and you will listen to Trixie’s apology!’ Rei yells. ‘You will do so sincerely, and you will treat it with as much respect as if it came from one of your dearest friends! GOT IT!’

All Rainbow Dash can do is ‘eep’ and nod to as the smaller pegasus forces her to the ground. The rest of the group watch in awe as Rainbow Dash is humbled.

Twilight jabs The Wandering Physicist. ‘You taught her that, didn’t you?’

That night, there is a small get-together at Twilight’s library. Applejack and Rarity have joined Twilight, Rei, Trixie and Rainbow Dash for an apology-and-gab session. Without much effort, thanks to Rainbow Dash’s still shattered nerves, Rei was able to convince the other two mares to listen to what Trixie had to say. After the fences were mended, the ladies stuck around to chat and get to know each other. Despite Trixie’s brash and arrogant exterior, they all found at least some small thing to relate to her about.

Rarity examines Trixie’s cape. ‘I am simply in love with the stitching. So fine and intricate. And the subtle glow-in-the-dark thread accenting the stars. Perfection!’

‘Do go on,’ Trixie pauses. ‘I mean it. Continue.’

‘Ah don’ care fer all that froo-froo sewin’ stuff,’ Applejack starts, ‘but anypony who can handle all the roadside repair hassles y’all have t’ go through is okay in mah book.’

Trixie sighs. ‘Being handy with a hammer is just one of the annoyances of not having a team of pegasi to pull your wagon for you, but good help is so hard to find these days.’

‘Enough talk about fashion and hardware!’ Rainbow Dash interrupts. ‘Did you really open for the Wonderbolts!’

‘Well, to be perfectly honest, we just performed at the same event several hours apart. But I assure you that The Great and Powerful Trixie had the audience perfectly warmed up for the main show.’

‘So awesome!’

Rei gives big yawn and stretches from where she is laying.

‘Aw. Looks like the little one is plumb tuckered out.’ Applejack laughs.

‘About time,’ Twilight says. ‘She’s been flying around like crazy all day.’

‘You should just give her a ton of sugar and let her crash a hour later.’ Everypony looks at Rarity. ‘What? That is what I do when I have to look after Sweetie Belle and her friends. Beats having them cause even half of the trouble they normally do.’

‘So that’s why Applebloom’s dental bills are so high! Ah’ll be havin’ t’ talk t’ ya about that later.’

Twilight nudges Rei. ‘Come on, Rei. Time for you to go home.’

‘But I don’t -- yawn -- na.’

‘I promised Mr Wanderer you would make it back at a good hour.’

‘Fine,’ Rei pouts. ‘But I didn’t get a chance to get a Trixie poster or something.’

‘Come by my wagon in the morning and I’ll make sure you get something extra special,’ Trixie offers.

Rei nods and heads out the door. She stretches her wings and prepares to take off.

‘So... you want some cool Trixie merch, eh?’

Rei spins around. ‘Who’s there!’

Maxie steps out of the shadows. ‘As her cousin, I have the hookup that can’t be beat.’

‘Hmm.... You are the one you has a grudge against Wanderer-san... But he kicked your flank! So I guess you’re a push over.’

Maxie snorts. ‘Well, hmm. If you don’t want the sweet deal...’

‘No, no! I want it. Gimme!’

Maxie laughs. ‘Then just come with me.’

The hangout at Twilight’s is turning into a sleepover, and she is setting up sleeping areas for her guests. Trixie insists that Twilight’s offer of a spare bed was more than gracious and accepts. Rarity’s rejection of sharing his bed has left Spike feeling upset. The others are spread around the free space in Twilight’s bedroom.

‘There we go,’ Twilight says as she lays out a makeshift bed for Applejack.

‘Thanks, sug’.’

‘I, for one, think this night has gone much more swimmingly than our last sleepover,’ Rarity states.

‘With the kid reinin’ in the fightin’ and no natural disaster outside, Ah’d have t’ agree.’

‘Whatevs. I still think I had the best scary story. Special effects shouldn’t count.’

‘The Great and Powerful Trixie is just a natural showmare. Me not having the best story would be like you not flying really fast.’

‘I guess...’

Twilight’s mobile rings next to her bed, and she answers.

‘Hello? Oh hi, Mr Wanderer! ... No, Rei isn’t still here. She left hours ago. ... What do you mean, she still hasn’t returned? Hello?’

The door to Twilight bedroom bursts open.

‘Search party, go!’ The Panicking Physicist commands. ‘You five, thanks for volunteering.’

‘Hold on! We agreed to no such thing!’ Rarity shoots back.

‘If Sweetie Belle disappeared mysteriously, would you just sit on your flank and do nothing?’

Rarity thinks for a moment. ‘For the children!’

‘Ah’m all fer helpin’ y’all, but do we have any clue where t’ start lookin’?’

‘She did want to get some souvenirs from Trixie. Maybe she went to her wagon,’ Twilight suggests.

‘My wagon?’ Trixie ponders. Her eyes narrow. ‘Maxie.’

The group is heading to the edge of town where Trixie parked her wagon. The Wandering Physicist has his sonic out and is scanning the area.

‘What is that thing and how can you stand the racket it makes?’ Trixie asks.

‘It is my sonic,’ The Wandering Physicist answers. He turns and holds it to Trixie’s face. ‘And don’t dis the sonic.’

Trixie backs down.

‘So who’s this Maxie fella y’all are talkin’ about?’ Applejack asks.

‘He thinks he is my rival since I kicked his flank back at the festival,’ The Wandering Physicist explains.

‘So he’s the jerk ya sent home cryin’ like Twilight did t’...’ Trixie glares at Applejack. ‘Eh heh heh.’

The Wandering Physicist growls to himself. ‘He’s back to get his revenge. If he has hurt Rei...’

‘He’s harmless for the most part,’ Trixie adds. ‘He is my idiot cousin. He practically begged me to come with him since he was scared of facing you alone. (Thank Luna that his daddy thought he was just being a child.) He thought I would want to fight Twilight again.’

Rainbow Dash cuts Trixie off. ‘If you dare mess with Twilight...’

‘I’m not here for revenge, Miss Dash.’

‘Hmpf.’

‘Are we near the wagon yet? My coat is fashionable and worth showing off, but I am ready to go to bed now.’

‘I think it should be...’ Trixie looks around.

‘We passed where it was parked about thirty meters back,’ The Wandering Physicist answers. ‘I’ve been following where it has been pulled since then.’

‘Wait. Where have we been following it to?’ Twilight asks.

The Wandering Physicist stops outside of a forest. ‘Here. This is where the trail ends.’

‘The Everfree Forest!’ everypony except The Wandering Physicist exclaim.

‘There appears to be three paths. I guess teams of two?’ The Wandering Physicist turns to see the mares standing back a bit. ‘Oh, what now?’

‘Mr Wanderer,’ Twilight starts, ‘The Everfree Forest is a pretty scary place in the daylight. At night...’

‘I have it on good authority that some of you here traversed this forest at night before. At Eternal Night.’

The rest of the group still looks a little nervous about entering. Trixie notices something about the way Twilight is looking at The Wandering Physicist, then her crowd reading instincts kick in and a wicked plan is hatched.

‘The Great and Powerful Trixie is not afraid. I am at your side, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Shoot. If Trixie can grow a backbone, Ah can t’.’

‘We are all with you, dear. It is just a little unnerving.’

‘Yeah! We ain’t scared of nothing.’

‘Thanks.’ The Wandering Physicist turns back to the forest. ‘Three paths, three groups. Since 3G is crap in there, thanks ET&T, we will have to use your magic to signal the groups.’

‘That sounds like a very good plan. I...’ Twilight starts.

‘I would like to go with Mr Wanderer, if that is okay,’ Trixie volunteers.

‘I am not sure that is a good idea...’ Twilight worries. ‘Neither of you have much experience in here.’

‘Well, between his sonic thingy and my knowledge of my cousin, we should do fine.’

‘I don’t...’

‘No worries, Twilight! I’ll have your back,’ Rainbow Dash boasts.

‘Hmm. I guess that leave us then,’ Rarity says to Applejack.

‘Heck, we’re not that bad o’ a pair when we try,’ Applejack assures.

‘Great. If you find the wagon, send up some magic flashy thing to let the rest of us know.’

‘Got it!’ All of the mages say at once. After a beat, ‘Jinx! Buy me a Coke!’ Trixie chimes in. She laughs proudly at herself as the other two glare.

‘Hmpf. Let’s just do this. Rei could be in trouble,’ Twilight huffs as she marches into the forest.

Most ponies think that unicorns are the only ponies with magic. They would be wrong. Earth ponies and pegasi have magic powers too. For instance, Rainbow Dash can create rainbows when she flies and Fluttershy can talk to animals. Rei’s special magic was her ‘night cloak.’ No! ‘Night armor.’ No! ‘Moon Armor.’ Yeah! That sounds cool. Moon Armor. With her Moon Armor, Rei could remain hidden indefinitely at night despite being bright white.

Currently, she is using this power to wait in ambush for that big meanie Maxie. He has her trapped in Trixie’s wagon (which is so cool!) and is taking her to some unknown location. Rei is also currently reading a book Trixie left hiding in a box under her bed for some reason. It was not as good quality as the comics in the hidden section of Kaeko’s shop or the games in Wanderer-san’s 18+ section, but it was entertaining nonetheless.

‘Oh please. Like that line would even work. Let alone get him that far,’ Rei scoffs. She makes a mental not to drop hints to Lucas or Stormy to try that line.

The wagon comes to a stop with a sudden jerk. Rei drops from the ceiling, bounces off Trixie’s small bed and lands hard on the floor. Moon armor sucks at protecting against injury. The door to the wagon opens, and Meanie McJerkington looks in.

Maxie looks at the book on the floor. ‘Aren’t you a little young for that stuff?’

‘Closest you’ll ever get.’ Rei gets up. ‘Why’d ya stop? Getting tired?’

Rei aims and shoots for the door. She is instantly caught be Maxie’s magic.

‘Not in the least.’ Maxie retorts. He plucks several feathers from Rei’s wings. ‘There. That should be enough to make him worry.’

Maxie scatters the feathers behind him. He seals the door behind him. The cart starts moving but not in a normal way.

‘Better hold on.’ Maxie says from outside. ‘This will get a little wild.’

Twilight uses her magic to light and scan the forest while Rainbow Dash flies overhead. They have yet to see any sign of the wagon.

‘Gah! Why does that filly have to cause so much trouble!’ Twilight growls.

‘Come on, Twilight. We all had a wild streak when we were that age.’

‘That was only a few years ago for us, and I never had a wild streak!’

‘Really? Could have fooled me.’

‘What does that mean?’

Rainbow Dash swoops down. ‘Ya know, I’m a wild one, but the quiet ones always do the wildest things. ... Except Fluttershy. She never does anything crazy, like fight a bear or something.’

‘Ugh. That is just a stereotype.’

Rainbow Dash shrugs and flies back up. After a moment of silence, she speaks up again.

‘I am surprised you let your guy go with Trixie like that.’

‘First, he is not “my guy”. Second, what do you mean by that?’

‘You know she wants to get back at you, and you let them go off into the forest alone together. We all know the next fireworks she shoots off will be... well, you know.’

Twilight blushes. ‘That, that would never happen. I-I-I mean, he is quite dense when it comes to that. Quite dense...’

Rainbow Dash laughs. ‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

Twilight growls, then starts worrying about what Trixie could be up to.

The Great and Powerful Trixie is getting tired of the search. She swears to make Maxie suffer for this annoyance. At least she was able to make Twilight jealous by spending some private time with her coltfriend. Too bad he is too focused to notice. Trixie sighs and looks over at her escort. The Shivering Physicist seems to be falling prey to this late fall weather.

Trixie sighs again. ‘Here. Come closer. Take some of my cape.’

The Freezing Physicist slows down, and Trixie levitates part of her cape over him to share some warmth.

‘Thanks, but hat...’ The brim of Trixie’s hat is poking him in the face.

‘Oh!’ Trixie levitates her hat on to his head as well. ‘You really should have brought a coat. The Great and Powerful Trixie’s cape is not designed for two ponies.’

‘When somepony you care about is potentially in danger, you don’t really stop to think about grabbing a coat.’

‘Right...’

After a moment of silence, The Less-Cold Physicist breaks the ice.

‘Did any of the others have any funny stories about me?’

‘Excuse me?’

‘You were spending the night with several of my friends and none of our adventures came up? I must be losing my touch.’

‘They were more interested in their extra-special guest,’ Trixie gloats.

‘Well, it seems like your idiot cousin has a bit of a lead on us. Regale me.’

If Rei could rate that book, it would be a ‘C’ or ‘C+’ at best. The plot was weak. The action was mediocre and barely accomplished the job it promised. The characters were well-developed and entertaining, though. She will definitely have to recommend some better reading once Trixie saves her. Squee! Trixie will save her! So awesome!

Suddenly, the cart jolts to a stop again, once again dropping Rei from the ceiling. There is a high-pitched scream and then silence. The forest outside is eerily silent as well.

‘Mr Jerkface? Did you perhaps die or something equally gruesome?’ Rei calls.

There is no response. Rei actually gets a little scared. She creeps to a nearby window and peeks out. A strange shape passes by the window.

‘Evil bird! Tricky bird! Evil tricky bird!’ Rei sheiks.

Rei scrambles back across the wagon. She slams into the opposite wall. The wagon starts rocking back and forth then it starts rolling again. Rei gives a small ‘eep’ and tries hiding somewhere safe.

The Wandering Physicist and Trixie are making their way together down their path. They are laughing at Trixie’s stories.

‘...and then, when he realized he wasn’t really a dog, let’s just say he found the exit very quickly.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Must have been a fun night.’

‘Some are...’ Trixie looks down.

‘Traveling town to town is hard.’

‘Hmpf. What would you know?’

‘And the first part of my name is?’

‘Right...’ Trixie pauses. ‘Do you ever miss wandering? Seeing new places?’

The Wandering Physicist thinks. ‘I still travel a lot. Seeing lots of places. I am glad I found a place to come back to. Very glad.’

Trixie looks at The Wandering Physicist then back away. ‘I don’t think I could ever find a place to just settle down.’

‘You just have to find somewhere or somepony that makes you very happy. Then it all becomes just a little clearer.’

‘For now, I am happy right here.’ Trixie leans into The Wandering Physicist.

The Wandering Physicist looks down at Trixie suspiciously. Suddenly, a purple flash streaks into the air and bursts.

‘That was Rarity! Come on!’ The Wandering Physicist takes off running.

‘But...’ Trixie seems disappointed, but she sighs and gives chase.

Trixie is the last to catch up with the rest of the group. The Wandering Physicist is running all over the path scanning with his sonic. The others are searching for clues as well, with Rainbow Dash serving as their eyes in the sky. Twilight levitates Trixie’s hat back to her.

‘Here. I didn’t want it to get dirty with him running around like this.’

‘Thank you. I am glad he didn’t run off with my cape as well.’

Rainbow Dash is instantly back on the ground. ‘What was he doing in your cape?’ She nudges Twilight.

‘Do you see a jacket on him? I couldn’t let him freeze so I was sharing it with him.’

‘Sharing it with him how?’ Rainbow Dash prods.

‘If you are implying The Great and Powerful Trixie was doing something unseemly, just go out and say it.’

Rarity comes over. ‘Just ignore Rainbow Dash, dear. She gets that way anytime we ladies spend more than ten seconds alone with a gentlepony. I never hear the end of it when all of the young stallions need suits for prom season.’

‘Bow chicka bow wow!’ Rainbow Dash taunts.

‘Shoot. She didn’ even know the birds and the bees ‘til recently,’ Applejack adds.

‘What! That’s not true! Who told you!’

All of the mares laugh at Rainbow Dash’s reaction. The Wandering Physicist starts climbing off the path.

‘This way.’

‘Mr Wanderer, wait.’ Twilight says. ‘Are you sure?’

‘There are some residual magic energies heading in this direction. I think he hurt Rei just as a diversion. ... A pointless diversion...’

Twilight teleports in front of The Wandering Physicist. ‘Mr Wanderer, calm down. It was only a few feathers. It is not like he really injured her permanently. She’ll be fine when we find her.’

‘If anything, he is just trying to get under your skin,’ Trixie adds. ‘He wouldn’t do any real harm to her... maybe.’

‘Still... If anything happens to her...’

‘May I be so bold to ask why you are getting so upset?’ Rarity asks. ‘I know I would face the fiercest dragon for my sister, but you look like you are ready to burn the forest to the ground just for a tiny hint to her whereabouts.’

‘It’s... complicated,’ The Wandering Physicist says before running off into the forest.

‘Wait up!’ Twilight gives chase.

The rest of the group watches them leave then slowly follow.

‘Y’all ain’t never seen ‘im get real upset before, have ya?’ Rarity shakes her head. ‘Let’s jus’ say that when he is mad ‘bout somethin’ done t’ one o’ his friends, even the princesses themselves ain’t safe.’

‘Yeah. It is real scary.’ Rainbow Dash adds. ‘Celestia help anypony who does something to harm Twilight. I doubt he would even give them an option of mercy.’

The group shudders at the thought of what would happen in that scenario. The thought just adds to the fears generated by the forest.

Trixie’s wagon is laying on its side after an unceremonious conclusion to its wild ride. The wagon itself is in good shape, but the contents are scattered about. Rei is laying on a pile of Trixie’s souvenir robes, wands and posters. She shrieks again when she notices something very much not a wand near her head. This time, Rei’s path of retreat takes her through the sideways door and into a tree. In the epic battle between tree and skull, tree wins and unconsciousness is Rei’s prize. This game sucks.

With The Wandering Physicist in the lead, the dangerous creatures in the forest know not to interfere with the group. The group is stepping relatively lightly as they look for any hint to the wagon’s location.

‘Uh, James, are ya sure this is the right direction?’ Applejack asks.

‘Positive.’

‘How can y’all be sure? We ain’t seen no sign of anything since you started this direction.’

‘Watch your step.’

Applejack shouts as she trips over something and land face first in the mud. She screams again as the object she tripped over is revealed to be the stone body of Maxie.

‘Well, I always suspected he was a stoner,’ Trixie quips. After getting groans: ‘What? That was funny.’

‘Okay. We have a cockatrice in the area,’ Twilight warns. ‘This is definitely not good.’

‘Is there a way to un, uh, unstone him?’ Rarity asks.

‘I should be able to find a spell or some cure in my library,’ Twilight answers. ‘But we would have to get him there first.’

‘So unlessen we find that wagon, Rarity will be the one hauling ‘im outa here.’

‘And what makes you assume I will be the one doing the heavy lifting?’

‘Well, ya were able t’ carry Tom ‘round purdy well,’ Applejack laughs.

‘Never. Mention. That name. Again.’

‘Ex-coltfriend, I assume,’ Trixie says.

‘Somethin’ like that,’ Applejack laughs.

Rarity growls at her friend.

‘I think I found the wagon...’ The Wandering Physicist says looking down a small cliff.

Before the others can come over, The Daredevil Physicist jumps onto the slope and slides down. The others come over and look down the steep slope.

‘Wait up!’ Rainbow Dash shouts and shoots down the cliff.

‘Well! Let’s get climbin’!’ Applejack pulls a rope out of her pack and starts affixing it to a tree.

‘Applejack, do you carry rope with you everywhere?’ Twilight asks as she lifts off.

‘Why? Is that a problem?’

The friends just groan and start climbing down. Twilight flies down the cliff. Rarity hangs back a little.

‘Applejack... I am asking for friend, but do they make that sort of concealable rope in a nylon or some other nonabrasive material?’

Applejack gives Rarity a questioning look. Rarity backs away and starts climbing down after their friends.

At the bottom of the cliff, The Investigating Physicist is climbing over the wagon. There is no sign of Rei in the area. Twilight is examining some tracks around the wagon. Applejack reaches the bottom of the cliff and pulls the rope. It quickly slides down the cliff and recoils itself.

‘Ha! Pony vs Wild ain’t got nothin’ on me.’

‘Would you mind lending us some of that rope to get this upright again?’ Trixie asks.

‘No prob, sug’. Just give me a sec.’

Applejack, Trixie, and Rainbow Dash start rigging the wagon. Both The Wandering Detective and Twilight look up from their investigations. Somehow, Twilight is wearing a deerstalker hat.

‘Upon closer inspection, I am certain these are not manticore tracks.’

‘No blood... and a massive dent in that tree.’

‘What does that mean, Mr Wanderer?’

‘That somepony has a much thicker skull than I gave her credit for.’

‘Really? You gave her far too little credit.’ There is a bit of a long pause. ‘Couldn’t you have just...’

‘I am at the bottom of a pit in the middle of the night with no coat. As soon as I get back, I am going to travel back in time to tell me to use my magic powers to solve this. I don’t care that causality will get ripped a new one. I am freezing!’

The loud crash of a wagon coming upright interrupts the investigation. Trixie is quickly inside to survey the damage. The others peek their heads in as well.

‘Dear me. Just give me five minutes and I’ll have this looking better than new again,’ Rarity offers.

‘Just getting it out of this ravine would be enough to make me happy.’

Rainbow Dash spots something that causes her to giggle. She points it out to Applejack who starts giggling too.

‘Ah guess it gets lonely out on the road.’

Trixie slams the door. ‘That is none of your business! Begone!’

Applejack and Rainbow Dash run off snickering. Rarity goes over to Trixie.

‘Never mind those two. They have absolutely no class.’

‘Trixie heartily agrees.’

‘Speaking for a friend... What model is that and does it come in other sizes?’

Trixie growls and starts chasing the other three while shooting magic bolts at them. Twilight holds up a small scale.

‘What is this?’

The Shivering Physicist, now in a deerstalker hat, looks it over. ‘Elementary, Twilight. A clue.’

‘I know that, but...’ Twilight looks around, but The Freezing Physicist is over by Trixie’s wagon.

‘Trixie, I am just going to borrow a blanket for a....’ He slams the door and walks away. ‘Never mind.’

This game is getting worse. First, that tree got a lucky shot in on her. Then something very pointy dragged her for a while which was fun except for all of the mud. Now, she is all wet and something smells like wet pony. Rei wishes she was just kidnapped again.

‘This sucks,’ Rei moans.

‘I’m sorry, deary, but this is the only way to get you cleaned up after that dreadful crash and the gruesome beast,’ a strange voice says.

Rei opens her eyes to see a large purple river dragon. She screams, takes off and a second tree gets a cheap shot on her. The river dragon sighs and tends to Rei.

‘Oh dear. Not again.’

A gout of flame chases three ponies across a river embankment. They scream in terror as a large red lizard chases them.

‘A salamander! Really! What is wrong with this forest!’ Twilight yells.

‘Too warm! Too, too warm!’ The Roasting Physicist cries.

‘Why didn’t I stay with my wagon!’ Trixie shouts.

‘Never fear! Dash is here!’ Rainbow Dash calls from above. ‘Hiya!’

Rainbow Dash shoots down from the sky doing a drop kick maneuver. The salamander turns and shoots fire at her. She passes straight through and right into the river. Smoke rises from her mane when she surfaces. She swims to shore to catch her breath. The three grounded ponies take cover behind a boulder.

‘Please tell me you know some anti-fire spell,’ Trixie asks Twilight.

‘Gee. I left it in my other robe and wizard hat,’ Twilight shoots back.

Trixie smirks. Twilight blushes when she realizes what she accidentally implied. A gout of flame bursts around the boulder.

‘Fire bad!’ The Burning Physicist notes.

The mares look at the stallion and sigh.

‘If you can distract it, I’ll cool it off.’ Twilight says to Trixie.

‘Distractions are my thing.’ Trixie replies.

Trixie starts readying a spell and steps out from cover. The salamander roars at her.

‘You dare challenge The Great and Powerful Trixie and her animal familiar?’

A louder roar is heard. Behind Trixie, a spectral bear steps forward. Its coat looks like the night sky, and it stands taller than all of the trees on the riverbank. The salamander backs off as the ursa minor approaches.

‘An ursa! Watch out, Trixie!’

‘Wait! No!’

Rainbow Dash flies forward and passes right through the ursa. As she tries to figure out what happened, she crashes right into a tree. The salamander turns on the defenseless unicorn before it. It starts readying another gout of fire. Trixie is tackled into the river as the fire shoots forth. Twilight comes from behind the rock and casts a spell that wraps the salamander’s maw in ice. She then uses her telekinesis to throw the salamander into the river. The Soaking Physicist helps Trixie to shore. She growls as she uses her telekinesis to wring out her hat and cape.

‘Thanks. I really wanted a moonlight dip,’ Trixie scowls.

‘Better soaking then cooking,’ The Dripping Physicist replies. He is visibly shaking from the water and cold.

Trixie sighs and puts her cape over The Hypothermic Physicist. ‘Here. It is not much, but it is better than nothing.’

Twilight tends to Rainbow Dash. ‘I hope we find Rei soon before he kills himself.’

The Wandering Physicist shivers, sneezes and falls over. ‘I’m fine. I don’t have a fever at all.’

Without warning, the salamander bursts from the river. The ice shatters from its maw as it readies yet more fire. Suddenly, the water turns frothy, and the salamander is thrown deep into the forest by a powerful tail flap. The purple river dragon comes out of the water and approaches the group.

‘Steven!’ Twilight calls.

‘Twilight Sparkle! So good to see you again,’ Steven calls back.

‘You know him?!’ Trixie exclaims.

‘He helped us in our journey to unite the Elements of Harmony the first time,’ Twilight explains.

‘Is the lovely Miss Rarity with you?’ Steven asks.

‘Well, she was a while back, but we had to split up.’

‘Oh drat. Then I guess you are here for that little filly who came by earlier.’

‘Y-y-you’ve seen her?’ The Frozen Physicist asks.

‘Why yes! She is resting right now with a nasty bump to the head. I had to save her from that beasty, too.’

Twilight facehoofs. ‘Sounds like her.’

‘I can take you to her right now if you want,’ Steven offers.

‘That would be great! He is freezing. We have been out all night, and I still have to cure an idiot who went up against a cockatrice.’

‘Oh dear stars! Sounds like you have a busy night. Hurry and come with me and I’ll have you on your way in no time.’

Steven picks up The Wandering Physicist and motions to the others to follow. Rainbow Dash comes to from her stunt.

‘Did I win?’

At the edge of the Everfree Forest, Steven is waving goodbye to his pony friends. The group has reunited and have Rei with them. The Wandering Physicist has been placed in Trixie’s wagon and wrapped in blankets. Rei is sleeping in the wagon with her alternate-universe father. Rainbow Dash is sleeping on top of the wagon. Maxie is strapped to the back of the wagon.

‘If you ever need help again, don’t be afraid to ask,’ Steven calls back.

‘We will! Thanks again!’ Twilight waves.

‘Wow. This adventure will make for a good story for my act,’ Trixie comments.

‘Yes, because that is more important than helping your friends,’ Rainbow Dash groans.

‘Oh. And that too.’

‘Ah, for one, am jus’ glad t’ have everyone safe and sound. ... Except stone boy over there.’

‘I’ll find a way to free him in the morning,’ Twilight says. ‘Oh! Unless you want me to free him now.’ She adds for Trixie.

‘Let him wait. It would be good punishment.’

‘Do we even have to free him?’ is asked from the wagon. ‘Discord could use a pet.’

‘Just go to sleep. You need rest,’ Twilight calls back. She sighs. ‘How long ago were we about to go to bed?’

‘Ah think we are all gonna need a day off after t’night.’

The four awake mares all moan in agreement.

Noontime. Outside the library, Trixie is saying her goodbyes to her new friends. Maxie is holding back since he is strapped to Trixie’s wagon. Rei is doing excited loops all over town to show off her new, signed and officially licensed Great and Powerful Trixie cape and hat. Trixie shakes hooves with all of her friends.

‘I am truly sorry for all of the trouble we caused,’ Trixie apologizes.

‘Shoot. Ah had fun. Even the forest part.’

‘Indeed. It was quite an adventure.’

‘Yeah. That was a lot of trouble,’ Rainbow Dash says. Her friends glare at her. ‘What? It was.’

‘Anyway. It was nice getting to know you,’ Twilight says to Trixie.

‘Likewise,’ Trixie replies. ‘And I think found a good reason to come back to visit again.’

Trixie goes over and kisses The Still-Half-Asleep Physicist on the cheek. Most of the others are surprised. Rainbow Dash laughs.

‘Ha! Told ya! Five bits,’ she says, extending a hoof to Twilight.

‘If you are trying to do what I think you are doing, it is not going to work,’ The Wandering Physicist states.

Trixie blushes. ‘For a time, that was a thought. I admit it. But, I believe I found somepony else who truly understands the hardships of being on your own for long periods of time.’ She winks and spins around. ‘Trixie will be in touch.’

Trixie boards her wagon and gives it a tap. It starts moving away slowly.

‘The Great and Powerful Trixie bids you adieu!’

Several fireworks go off around the wagon and ends in a large flash of smoke. The wagon is not a lot further away than Trixie expects.

‘Hey! Hurry up, idiot!’ She shouts to the front of the wagon.

‘But you are so heavy!’

A white lightning bolt drops from the sky and kicks Maxie in the head.

‘Don’t you dare speak ill of The Great and Powerful Trixie!’ Rei commands.

‘I’m sorry.’

Maxie picks himself up and continues down the path. The adults just sigh at Rei’s action.

Author's Note

Current TWP Lov- LOL! Just kidding!

TWP Timeline: First encounter with Trixie.

Human Nature

Main Characters: Lyra, TWP, Bon Bon, Rei
Cameos: None
Original Write Date: November 10, 2011

Lyra Heartstrings is a professional. She does not need the fancy bow ties that a certain fiddle player needs to look like an expert. In fact, Lyra was so good, she is a pro at two things. The most obvious is her artistic nature expressed by her musical cutie mark of a lyre, symbolizing the lyrical nature of her heart and the joy she feels sharing music with others. The second, less obvious, expertise is more subtle. Some ponies call it a hobby. Some call it lunacy. Lyra just calls it human hunting.

Current subject: The Wandering Physicist. Status: Likely human. Description: Earth pony. Average height, average build. Brown coat. Black mane and tail. Black glasses. Cutie mark: A smaller, distorted version of himself. Weird. Profession: Owner and operator of the local video game store. Associates: Lucas Grainborough (not human), Twilight Sparkle (not human - maybe), Rei Tsukiyo (possible human), Pinkie Pie (possible human), and more. Current location: Shopping. Begin log.

Lyra is watching a possible human. She is hiding on the side of a building watching it. It appears to be a male earth pony. He would be considered attractive if Lyra were into stallions. She does not argue the way she was born. In fact, she is quite happy with it. More importantly, her subject is providing excellent data.

The Wandering Physicist stares at a food display at the market. He does not know what to get for dinner. Knowing that Rei will eat just about anything that is put in front of her at dinner time, once necessitating the emergency removal of a fork from her stomach (which did nothing to abate her hunger), makes the task much simpler. He sighs and goes up to the vendor to make his purchase.

Lyra quickly jots down the size and quantity of all of the potatoes being purchased. Nopony can eat that many potatoes! Although, he might just like them. The quantity of apples consumed by the Apple family threw Lyra off at first, but they proved to be ‘normal’. More investigation is still needed there. The target starts moving, and the chase continues.

The chase ends when the target reaches his home. For some reason, humans dislike random ponies entering their houses as much as ponies do, so Lyra goes home instead. Back at home, Lyra goes over her notes in her small music room. All of them seemed to point to the target as possibly being a pony, but she knows there is something more. Her elaborate flowcharts connecting him to the parasprite invasion and the loss of her precious cake proves he was also involved in the rise of Discord over a thousand years ago, albeit an alternate universe version of him. There is just one piece missing.

‘Where the hell does Twilight Sparkle fit into this?’ Lyra ponders aloud. ‘I’ve known her since... AHA! She must be investigating him for Celestia! It is so obvious now!’

At that moment, Lyra’s wife Bon Bon walks into the room. ‘Lyra, honey. When are you coming to din... Who are you stalking this time?’

‘I am not stalking anypony. I am helping the princess stop an alien invasion.’

Bon Bon facehoofs and moans. ‘Dear, there are no such thing as humans. You just have to accept that.’

‘But! But! Hands!’

Bon Bon sighs. ‘Okay, Lyra. You win. Come to dinner and you can tell me all about your new theory.’

Current subject: The Wandering Physicist. Personal Information: Unchanged. Current location: Downtown Ponyville. Possibly heading to Sugarcube Corner or the library. Hopefully Sugarcube Corner. Note: If he is heading to Sugarcube Corner, get Bon Bon a special treat as apology for calling her crazy for not believing me again. Double note: Might have to take notes on Pinkie Pie too.

Lyra follows The Wandering Physicist through town. He seems to be out to visit one of his friends. In a personal situation, he might let down his guard and reveal his human form. Hopefully, he will go somewhere with food since Lyra is skipping lunch for matters of national security.

Without warning, the target goes down a side alley. Lyra follows as surreptitiously as she can. She presses herself against a wall and peeks around the corner. The target is not there. Lyra enters the alley and looks around. She stops to ponder the events as somepony sneaks up on her.

‘You know, I don’t care too much for being followed.’

Lyra spins around to see her target. He is pointing some kind of weird cylinder with a crystal on the end at her. Obviously an anti-pony ray developed by humans. Fortunately, Lyra has prepared herself for all sorts of anti-pony rays and brings a spell to mind just in case.

Thinking on her hooves, Lyra scoffs, ‘Ha! You have fallen for one of the most classic blunders!’

‘We are not in Haysia nor are you Sicilian.’ The Irked Physicist replies. ‘I arranged for you to follow me here so I could ask you why you have been stalking me for the past few days.’ Pauses. ‘I am certain that the local police force would like to know too.’ He nods at a blue police box at the end of the alley.

Lyra raises an accusatory hoof. ‘Ha! I knew he was one of you!’

The Intrigued Physicist raises an eyebrow. ‘What does that mean?’

‘Oh no. You won’t use your human mind tricks on me. I’m to smart for that.’

‘I am not a human. Seriously, just look at me.’ He spins around. ‘All pony.’

‘That is just what a human would say.’

‘Okay. Fine. Whatever. Just stop stalking me. Or else.’

‘I’ll only stop once I am convinced you are not a human. It is for the safety of all Equestria!’

‘Listen. I know a Doctor. He can “help” you...’

Lyra strikes a defensive posture. ‘I know more about you than you know, Mr Strawberry.’

‘I just said... What do you mean by that?’

‘What do you think I mean by that?’

‘I think you don’t know what you are talking about and are in for a world of trouble if you even get one hint of the truth.’ The Wandering Physicist snarls as he turns to leave.

‘So, you are human!’ Lyra accuses.

‘And you are a psychopath!’

Rei is the middle of a lecture on the potential meanings of obscure cutie marks. She would rather be playing DDR back home. Neighpon is always nice this time of year. All of the lovely snow covering Horseshu... Making snow pegasi in the castle courtyard... Your guardian bursting in your classroom unannounced... Wait. What!?

‘Hey, everypony!’ The Wandering Physicist greets. ‘Uh, I am here for Rei. I am her guardian. You might know me from the video game shop. I think I have seen a few of you. I know you are all friends with Rei, and I would love for you to come to my shop, you know, the gaming shop, and tell me, her guardian, all about all of the fun things you do with her, Rei, but that isn’t what is important right now. Anyway! Rei! I need your help. There is somepony I need you to stalk. I think she is your music teacher... so it might be a little weird.’

The normally hyper Rei is frozen from embarrassment. Everypony is either looking at her or her guardian and giggling and whispering to each other. Stormy is facehooving from his seat behind Rei.

‘Well, are you coming?’ The Embarrassing Physicist asks.

The Power Block is getting its normal business for the late afternoon. The shop is in an odd area of town with a distinct traffic. Bon Bon feels a little out of place, but it has a lot of fascinating shops that she sometimes visits. She waves to some ponies she knows who are coming out of Neighponese Imports. She makes her way to the video game shop. She has never come to this shop before. She enters, not knowing what she will find, and looks for a clerk. She finds a grey unicorn.

‘Excuse me, I am looking for The Wandering Physicist.’ Bon Bon says to Lucas.

‘Boss? Up at the counter,’ Lucas nods to The Wandering Physicist.

Bon Bon goes over to the counter. The Wandering Physicist finishes with a customer and turns to the visitor.

‘How can I help you?’ He asks.

‘Yes, um, my name is Bon Bon. I am looking for The Wandering Physicist.’

‘Most of my friends call me Mr Wanderer or James.’

‘Right, uh, James, I am here because of my wife Lyra...’

‘You married her? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,’ The Wandering Physicist cringes.

‘Ah... So you two have met...’ Bon Bon sighs.

‘She has been following me for a while. I ran into her... personally earlier today.’

Bon Bon sighs. ‘Ugh. I had a feeling I would be too late, but that is not important. I came here to...’

Suddenly, Rei enters the store and starts heading towards the residence upstairs.

‘The crazy stalker lady is outside.’ She points to Lyra obviously staring into the window. ‘I’m going to get a juice box and then go back to stalking her.’

The Wandering Physicist and Bon Bon watch the pegasus head upstairs. They look out at Lyra, who has her face pressed on the shop front. Seconds later, Rei drops down and hovers over Lyra while drinking her juice. Bon Bon turns back to The Wandering Physicist.

‘You have somepony following my wife...’ She fumes.

‘To be fair, I am fairly certain that my ward there is being watched too,’ The Defensive Physicist counters. ‘... And she started it.’

‘Anyway...’ Bon Bon sighs. ‘I came to invite you to dinner in hopes to clear everything up. I am sure we can talk about this in a rational manner. Lyra usually gives up once she is given a strong talking-to, and your words would be a boon since she is really adamant this time.’

‘Hmm... That sounds fair. What time should Rei and I arrive?’

‘Rei? Oh! Her.’ Bon Bon glances out the window and Rei waves. ‘Come around seven. I’ll make sure to set her a place, too.’ She leaves a note with her address on it.

‘Great. We’ll look forward to it.’

Bon Bon leaves the store. She stops outside to grab Lyra’s ear in her teeth and drag her away. Rei waves as they leave.

Back at their house, Bon Bon is preparing the meal for her dinner party while Lyra pouts nearby.

‘I can’t believe you willingly would invite a dangerous monster into our house!’ Lyra complains. ‘The Wandering Physicist is a pain, too.’

‘They seemed like perfectly fine ponies to me.’ Bon Bon sighs. ‘They may be a little odd, but that is why I invited them. They will convince you they are normal’ She turns and glares at her wife. ‘You will behave and listen to them since you are not listening to me this time. They are not some mythical beast from your nightmares. Got it?’

Lyra frowns and turns away. There is a knock on the door. Bon Bon keeps up with her cooking, and Lyra gets the clue. She moans and gets up to answer the door. Outside, The Wandering Physicist and Rei are waiting. He has a small box on his back.

‘Hi!’ Rei chirps.

‘Hey,’ The Wandering Physicist greets.

Lyra sighs. ‘Come on in.’

The pair enter the house. Rei’s head snaps in every direction as she takes everything in. Lyra goes to a sofa and sits down, but not like normal ponies do. She crosses her forelegs in front of her as she watches the guests. Rei’s eyes go wide, and she immediately tries to mimic Lyra’s odd pose in a nearby chair. Bon Bon comes out of the kitchen to greet the guests.

‘James, Rei. Good to see you again,’ Bon Bon greets.

‘Uh, thanks for having us,’ The Wandering Physicist replies.

‘It will be good to get somepony else’s cooking for a change,’ Rei beams.

The Wandering Physicist growls a bit at Rei. ‘Anyway, we brought you a little something.’

The stallion takes the box from his back and gives it to Bon Bon. She takes it to a table and starts opening it. A number small confectionary balls are inside.

‘It is mochi!’ Rei chimes in. ‘I made it myself.’

‘Why, thank you, Rei,’ Bon Bon thanks. ‘Isn’t that nice, Lyra?’

‘I guess so...’ Lyra replies scanning them. ‘Mochi’ is obviously some sort of bizarre human snack used to turn ponies into drones to work their underground sugar mi... and Bon Bon just ate one.

‘Sooooo gooooood.’ Bon Bon swoons. ‘I just couldn’t resist. I almost never get a chance to make them for my shop. Whenever I do, I almost always have so few leftover that Lyra gobbles them up before I get a chance to.’

‘I have never had them before in my life,’ Lyra retorts.

‘I made hundreds for last year’s Luna Festival. You couldn’t stop eating them. You wrote a song about it.’

‘Nope. Don’t remember.’ Lyra turns away from her obvious lie as she resists the urge hum the tune.

Bon Bon snorts at her wife but still sits next to her on the sofa. ‘There are still a few minutes before everything will be ready. James, why don’t you tell us more about yourself? Where are you from originally?’

‘I have lived in many places, but I see myself as being from SoColt at heart.’

‘SoColt?’ Bon Bon asks.

‘It is a region from the human planet,’ Lyra answers casually, getting a growl in return from Bon Bon.

‘Southern Coltifornia. Such a fun area,’ The Wandering Physicist explains.

‘I’m from Neighpon!’ Rei throws out.

‘Wow. You traveled far to get here.’ Bon Bon is amazed. ‘Why did you end up in a small town like Ponyville?’

‘Video games,’ The Wandering Physicist states plainly.

‘Dimensional vor-OW! I mean, royal business for Princess Luna,’ Rei answers after getting a sharp jab to her gut.

‘Royal business? Interesting.’ Bon Bon is impressed and ignoring the slip.

‘What was that about dimensional vortexes?’ Lyra asks.

‘Nopony said “dimensional vortexes.” Right, Rei?’ The Covering Physicist glares.

Before Rei can reply, a timer goes off in the kitchen.

‘Oh! Dinner’s ready.’ Bon Bon gets up. ‘Lyra, will you help with the table?’

‘But? Grr...’ Lyra sighs. She turns to the guests. ‘I will expose you by the time this night is through.’

Lyra leads the guests to the dining room before going to help Bon Bon with the meal.

The dinner goes smoothly. Only a few Rei slips for The Wandering Physicist to cover up, and a couple of leading questions from Lyra for Bon Bon to glare back into submission. Afterwards, the group has gathered in the living room again and are enjoying Rei’s mochi.

‘Best mochi ever,’ Lyra says as she stuffs several into her mouth at once.

‘I must get the recipe.’ Bon bon adds.

‘Sorry. Secret imperial recipe.’ Rei giggles.

Lyra swallows. ‘Whatever the recipe, they are simply out of the world.’

The Wandering Physicist rolls his eyes. ‘Thank you for the wonderful evening, ladies,’ he thanks with a bow to the hosts. ‘Um, it is a bit embarrassing, but mind if I use the washroom before we head off?’

‘Oh, uh, down the hall. First door,’ Bon Bon answers.

The Wandering Physicist bows again and exits.

‘So, Rei. Where are you really fr-OW!’ Lyra is jabbed by Bon Bon.

The Wandering Physicist finishes and steps out of the washroom. He looks around a bit and notices a door cracked open. Curiosity wins over good manners, and he takes a peek.

‘WHAT THE FRAK!’

Bon Bon moans. ‘You left your study open.’

‘Oh crap.’

Lyra runs to head off the issue, but The Furious Physicist bowls her over on his way back. He drops a set of photos on the cowering unicorn.

‘Does she know?’ He fumes.

‘Well, uh, my research proves she is not human.’

A hoof comes down near Lyra’s head. ‘Does. She. Know.’

‘... No.’ Lyra squeaks.

‘Following me, I can let go. Following Rei, well, she was messing with you from the start.’

‘Damn right!’ Rei cheers.

‘Shut up!’

Rei hides.

The Pissed Physicist turns back to Lyra. ‘I was having fun with you until now. Hell, I was even thinking of messing with you a bit more, but now...’ He marches to the door. ‘Rei, you’re going straight home.’

‘But...’

‘Rei!’

‘Eep. Yes sir.’

‘I am going to make a stop on the way home. Lyra, if you think I am upset, I am sure Twilight will be really angry,’ He pauses. ‘As will Lucas, Kaeko, Droll, and everypony else I meet on the way.’

‘Wait! Mr James!’ Bon Bon pleads. ‘Lyra didn’t mean any harm. She just gets a little carried away. At least give her a chance to make up for it.’

The Angry Physicist looks over at Lyra. ‘How many have you followed in this town alone?’

Lyra looks down. ‘About three dozen...’

‘Three dozen!’ Bon Bon shrieks.

‘And how many know you followed them? Counting me and Rei.’

Lyra winces painfully. ‘... Two...’

The Vengeful Physicist growls. He gets out his mobile and starts entering commands. ‘You have twenty-four hours to tell everypony. See me at my shop when you are done. I’ll know if you succeeded. Rei, we’re leaving.’

The Grumbling Physicist walks out as calmly as he can followed by a very nervous Rei. Lyra looks over at Bon Bon but gets none of the support she was hoping for.

‘I’d get started now. Sounds like you have a lot of work ahead of you,’ Bon Bon seethes, controlling her anger as best she can.

Lyra just nods and steps outside. The door is slammed behind her. Lyra starts on her task after wincing at the loud scream from the house and the obvious sobbing that follows.

It is past dark when Lyra finally reaches The Power Block after the end of a long day. The shop is still open with the two operators at the counter playing a game on a nearby system. Lyra feels lucky there are no customers. Her body is sore from where some ponies actually hit her, and her mind and emotions are shattered from the near-endless yelling throughout the day. She gently pushes the door to the shop open.

‘Look! No hands!’ Lucas jokes as he operates the controller with his magic.

Lyra winces at the joke.

‘Ah, come on. Thought you’d like that one.’

‘Lucas, can you handle closing?’ The Wandering Physicist asks. ‘Lyra, follow me.’

‘You don’t want me to apologize?’ Lyra asks.

‘Life’s too short to be mad about something in the past. I mean, I can count the number of grudges I hold on one hand,’ Lucas replies.

Lyra winces again. The Wandering Physicist nods to her and leads her upstairs. Rei is in the kitchen cooking.

‘Konbanwa, Heartstrings-san!’ Rei waves.

Lyra waves back as The Wandering Physicist stops in front of an odd closet.

‘How do you feel?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

Lyra looks at The Wandering Physicist. She just bites her lip, shakes her head, and hold back the tears.

‘I thought so. Follow me.’ The Wandering Physicist turns to open the closet. ‘Rei. Stay out here.’

‘Aw!’

The Wandering Physicist enters the closet. Lyra follows, stops, looks back out, then goes in.

‘This is....’

‘Bigger on the inside. Yep.’

The doors close, and the TARDIS starts powering up.

‘What is this?’ Lyra is even more confused how she should feel.

‘This is my time machine,’ The Wandering Physicist explains. ‘See, I am a time traveller from another planet. Rei is from an alternate dimension where she is royalty. Are you getting all of this?’

Lyra just nods.

‘Good. Because you can tell nopony about it. It is a secret I have only shared with my closest friends, the Elements of Harmony, and the princesses.’

‘I understand.’

The Wandering Physicist stops the TARDIS. ‘Good. Now. Which pony do you think you upset the most with your revelation?’

Lyra grimaces as she remembers the day’s events. Twilight Sparkle was furious, but she eventually calmed down after Spike convinced her not to ask Celestia to banish Lyra to the moon permanently. Fluttershy probably will never leave her house again. Pinkie Pie surprisingly gave her a cupcake and laughed it off, having somehow known about the stalking the whole time. Derpy was equally understanding, if a little cross. Lyra settles on the Apple family since the pinpoint bruises from bucked apples were still hurt after several hours. She opens her mouth to answer.

‘The correct answer is her,’ The Wandering Physicist says as he opens the doors to reveal Bon Bon laying on her bed crying.

Lyra is frozen in the TARDIS. She just stares at her wife, not knowing what to do. The Wandering Physicist gives Lyra a nudge.

‘I may not know a lot about relationships, but I find an apology is a good start.’

Lyra nods and starts to leave.

‘Oh! And find a new hobby. Humans are just big, dumb, hairless apes with no sense of style. Total waste of time.’

Lyra laughs to herself and exits the TARDIS.

A few days later, Lyra and Bon Bon are out on a reconciliation picnic date in the park. Lyra still gets upset glares from the ponies she followed, but she is doing her best to ignore them. The couple are having a very peaceful time until a white streak with blue tint passes by.

‘Get back here!’ The Wandering Physicist yells as he chases the streak. ‘Wait until I get my hands on you!’

Lyra bolts upright. ‘Hands!’

‘Sit down, dear,’ Bon Bon sighs.

Lyra stands for a moment then sits back down. She and Bon Bon watch the chase unfolding in front of them.
Current subject: The Wandering Physicist. Status: Time Lord. NOT human. Description: Earth pony. Average height, average build. Brown coat. Black mane and tail. Black glasses. Cutie mark: A smaller, distorted version of himself. Still weird. Profession: Owner and operator of the local video game store. Associates: Lucas Grainborough (pony), Twilight Sparkle (pony - maybe), Rei Tsukiyo (pony?), Pinkie Pie (pony... maybe), and more. Current location: In the park chasing Rei. End log.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: First true encounter with Lyra.

Story Timeline: TWP confirmed as not human. Hints at having met them before. Lyra hints at knowing TWP from some other event.

Fun fact: Outside of TWP and his love life, Lyra and Bon Bon have the rockiest relationship in the series.

Holiday Cheer

Main Characters: TWP, Trixie, Derpy
Cameos: Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Lucas, Rei, Luna/Selene, Braeburn, Carrot Top, Celestia/Amy, Stormy, Rarity’s parents, Twilight’s parents, Coal, Seth - Trixie’s brother, Mr & Mrs Cake, The Doctor (10)
Original Write Date: 12/4/2011

The Wandering Physicist is depressed. He is currently laying on the main counter of The Power Block watching the near empty store The only other ponies in the store are Rei and Lucas, but they are on their way out.

‘Step out that door, and you are not coming back in,’ The Depressed Physicist moans.

‘Aw, cheer up, Boss,’ Lucas assures. ‘It is just through the holiday.’

‘I’m seeing the princess!’ Rei cheers as she flies around the room.

‘She does know that Luna is mad that she failed Rarity’s class, right?’ Lucas asks.

‘Luna is more upset that I was the one to tell her and not Rei,’ The Upset Physicist sighs. ‘Even more so since Rei was supposed to report to her about the class and never did.’

‘Ouch,’ Lucas winces.

‘Princess!’ Rei cheers as she flies upside down and backwards.

The Wandering Physicist swears and holds out a hoof to Lucas. ‘Just make sure she is going in the right direction when you split, okay?’

Lucas returns the brohoof. ‘You going to be okay without us?’

‘Hell no. I’m going to be miserable. Haven’t you been listening?’

‘We’ll check in every day, won’t we Rei?’

‘P! R! I! Uh... お! 姫! 様! Princess!’

The Wandering Physicist shakes his head. ‘Luna is going to tear her a new one.’

Ponyville library is experiencing a rare event: it is being closed. Twilight and Spike have locked up the library, the last thing to do on Twilight’s ‘Checklist of everything we need to do before going home to visit my parents for the holiday checklist’ and the first thing to do on Twilight’s ‘Checklist of everything we need to do on the trip to Canterlot for the trip home to see my parents for the holiday checklist’. Outside of the library, The Wandering Physicist is seeing Twilight off as Lucas and Spike wait and exchange assistant stories. Rei is still in her own little delusion.

‘Please don’t get too lonely without us,’ Twilight says. ‘I don’t like how you get when you are like that.’

‘You just want another excuse to spend a weekend in my bed with me,’ The Pouting Physicist replies. ‘That is all I am good for to you.’

Twilight sighs. ‘You know that is not true. Besides, you know you are free to come with us.’

‘Yeah. Stuck between having to explain to your parents why somepony the square of their daughter’s age wants to see her and having to explain why Rei is still an uncontrollable hell beast to Luna is really appealing. Although... I would give me a chance to tease Octy again...’

‘Ugh. She is going to beat you to death with her cello one day.’

‘Double bass.’

‘What?’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Never mind.’

Twilight sighs again. ‘I think maybe your staying here is a good thing.’

‘Don’t forget to say “hi” to Discord for me.’

‘Nope. Not going to happen,’ Twilight replies without a beat.

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Fine, but at least check in on Rei when you visit the castle. And bring this.’ He holds up a sack of oranges. Twilight facehoofs. ‘Ah. So you think Luna has some already. I know Celestia has bananas...’

Twilight shakes her head. ‘What are we going to do with you?’

The Wandering Physicist holds up the sack of oranges again. Twilight laughs. He sets down the sack, and they lean in and kiss. Lucas starts timing it on his mobile.

Twilight breaks the kiss. ‘We should be going before it gets too late.’

‘Have a safe journey.’

Twilight gives one last kiss before joining the rest of the party and checking off a few more items from her checklist.

The Downtrodden Physicist is at Sugarcube Corner watching Pinkie packing for her holiday trip to see her family. Gummy sits in the mouth of the party cannon.

‘This sucks! Everypony is going away. I am going to be so bored!’

‘Aww! It is not going to be for that long.’ Pinkie reassures. ‘You can always come with.’

‘To a rock farm?’ The Wandering Technophile groans. ‘I bet they have horrible 3G.’

‘Don’t be such a Grumpy McGrumperson,’ Pinkie teases. ‘I would love you to come.’

‘Eh... That’s okay.’

‘No, no, no. I don’t think you get it. I would love you to come with me.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘I think I get you just fine. I would love you to stay with me. We can have s’mores.’

Pinkie dives across the room and tackles The Wandering Physicist in a large kiss. Gummy just watches and blinks. Pinkie eventually breaks the kiss.

‘So, that is a yes?’

‘No, silly. I just...’ Pinkie blushes. ‘I just wanted to make you feel better about missing us.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘We’ll have to work out a less public system just in case somepony is watching.’

Pinkie giggles. ‘Aw, but okay!’

The Wandering Physicist gets up to leave. ‘Remember, if things get too boring, I am just a TARDIS away.’

Pinkie giggles. ‘Okie doki loki!’

The Wandering Physicist exits the room and heads back downstairs. In the main shop, the Cakes are setting out a fresh batch of baked goods. They wave to The Wandering Physicist over the small crowd. Their children, Pumpkin and Pound, are fascinated by the crowds in the store.

‘Mr Wanderer. Good to see you,’ Carrot Cake greets.

‘Uh, yeah. I was just saying “bye” so...’ The Socially Awkward Physicist says, trying to get out of socializing.

Cup Cake sets a box in front of The Wandering Physicist. ‘Here. Just a little something for taking good care of Pinkie this past month.’

‘Hey, uh, no prob. She is sweet, and we all get down sometimes. Just got to have good friends.’

Carrot Cake laughs. ‘We understand. Enjoy your holiday cake.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs and picks up the box. ‘Yeah. With who?’

‘I don’t follow, sir.’

‘Oh, uh, well, you probably know I am not from around here and pretty much all of my friends are heading out of town.’

‘Hate to hear that. Give us a call sometime and you can come over for dinner,’ Cup Cake offers.

‘Uh, thanks? I’ll keep that in mind.’ The Nervous Physicist gives an awkward smile. ‘Well, uh, see ya ‘round.’

The Wandering Physicist tries to exit as fast as he can without looking too uncomfortable.

‘Are you sure you don’t want any cake?’ The Wandering Physicist offers with a big smile.

‘Oh, no thank you,’ Fluttershy politely declines. ‘It will make me feel heavy, and that is not good for flying.’

‘I’ll TARDIS you there. We take a week or month to hang out, and I’ll have you there in a couple hours. Sound good?’

Fluttershy tries to work out how they can spend a month together but still arrive in a couple hours.

‘Time machine.’

‘Oh! Right! I forgot.’ Fluttershy looks ashamed.

‘It is okay.’

Fluttershy smiles in relief. The Wandering Physicist sighs.

‘I just wish everypony wasn’t all leaving at once. Even all of my friends around my shop have left by now.’

‘I’m sorry. If I had known, I would have stayed longer, but Rainbow wanted to leave today so...’

‘Nah. Don’t worry. Just have a good time with your family back home. Don’t worry about me.’

Fluttershy gives her friend a concerned look, then she looks up in shock.

‘Oh my pizza! I almost forgot!’

Fluttershy dashes into her house and returns with a package.

‘Here. Remember not to open it until the holiday.’ She giggles.

‘Thank you. You are the sweetest.’ The Wandering Physicist puts the package with his cake. Before Fluttershy can ask, he says, ‘Don’t worry. I got you something too. I never reveal my cards early on the holidays.’

‘Oh, you didn’t have to get me any...’ Bonk! A hoof to the head cuts Fluttershy off. ‘I mean, I really look forward to seeing what you got me. Should I take it...’ Bonk.

‘Time machine.’

‘Oh! Right! I forgot.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs and that make Fluttershy laugh. Fluttershy stops laughing. She looks around nervously and starts leaning close...

‘You ready yet, Fluttershy?’ is asked from above.

Fluttershy freezes. She is too far forward to retract, but she has not gotten the kiss she desires.

‘Hey, Dash,’ The Wandering Physicist greets.

‘ ‘Sup, Jim,’ Rainbow Dash replies. ‘Better hurry and kiss her before she gets too embarrassed.’

Fluttershy squeaks nervously. The Wandering Physicist laughs. He leans in and kisses Fluttershy. She feels like she is flying. The kiss is finally broken when Fluttershy flies out of reach.

‘Oops. Sorry,’ Fluttershy says as she returns to ground to get her bags. ‘I’ll see you when I get back.’

‘I’ll expect to hear from both of you,’ The Wandering Physicist replies.

‘No prob, Jimmy. Have a great holiday!’ Rainbow Dash waves while dragging Fluttershy away.

The Wandering Physicist sighs as waves as his friends leave.

At Carousel Boutique, a pair of coaches are being loaded as The Wandering Physicist arrives. He watches the coach drivers for the moment before he is noticed. A magenta unicorn approaches.

‘Mr Wanderer, good to see ya.’ Stormy extends a hoof.

The Wandering Physicist returns the brohoof. ‘Stormy. How’s it going?’

‘Can’t complain.’

‘You’re heading out too?’

‘Hey! Who do we have here! One of your friends, Stormy?’ A white stallion greets. A playful hoof to the back knocks Stormy down as soon as he gets close.

‘I’m The Wandering Physicist, sir.’ The Wandering Physicist greets. ‘I am guessing you are Rarity’s dad.’

‘Oh! So you’re the James that Rarity told us about.’ Rarity’s dad takes The Wandering Physicist’s hoof and gives it a hearty shake. ‘Great to finally meet you.’ He turn back. ‘Hun! It is Rarity’s friend James!’

A pale lavender unicorn comes up. ‘Oh, James! Rarity has told us all about you. You are certainly are as dashing as she said.’

‘I thought you had a beard.’

‘Give me a few days,’ The Wandering Physicist laughs.

‘If you are here to see Rarity, she and Sweetie Belle are bringing her bags down now,’ Rarity’s dad states.

The Wandering Physicist grimaces. ‘I pity the poor soul who has to load it.’

Stormy groans. ‘I should be half as buff as Big Macintosh given all of the work she makes me do.’

Rarity’s dad gives Stormy another slap to the back, sending him to the ground again. ‘It is okay, kid. You’ll grow into your body soon enough. We should get out the pigskin and have a go of it. You like hoofball, James?’

‘I’m a bit of a Galaxy fan, but I usually just cheer for a good game. Pretty awesome that Neighpon won the woman’s cup. They needed something to lift the spirits again.’

‘Galaxy?’ Stormy snorts. ‘Sounders and Arsenal for the win.’

‘Uh, I was talking real hoofball, boys.’

‘So were we.’ The Wandering Physicist and Stormy brohoof.

Before Rarity’s dad can argue, Rarity’s mom butts in. ‘So, James, are you traveling this holiday?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘No. I don’t have anywhere to go. Where are you going? I thought you were Ponyville natives.’

‘Oh, we go out to see the relatives then find somewhere warm and fun to vacation for the rest of the holiday. Rarity always knows the best places to stay. And so fashionable too. She really is the most.’

‘She even did a good job convincing Stormy’s relatives to let him visit, too,’ Rarity’s dad adds.

‘Telling them my dad went through three lawyers before he decided to defend himself and then was convicted and is still facing charges of threatening a judge probably helped, too.’

‘Wait. If your dad is in jail and you are going to see...’

‘They’re my mom’s relatives. I haven’t seen them since I last saw her.’

The Wandering Physicist winces. ‘Sorry for bringing that up.

‘Whatevs.’

There is a loud crash as Rarity and Sweetie Belle deposit a mass of luggage by the coaches.

‘There. That is the last of it,’ Rarity states. ‘And be quick about loading it. I don’t wish to be late for our first appointments.’

‘Yeah!’ Sweetie Belle adds.

Rarity looks over to where everypony has gathered. ‘James! What a delight! Come to see me off?’

The group relocates to Rarity’s location.

‘I seem to be doing that with everypony today.’

‘He really is a mensch,’ Rarity’s mom laughs.

‘Mother!’ Rarity shrieks. ‘Not in front of my friends.’

‘What? Are you still embarrassed about your foreponies? I thought you grew out of that.’

Rarity grimaces and shudders. ‘What my mom meant to say is...’ She notices The Wandering Physicist’s grin. ‘I am not going to live this down, am I?’ Her mobile buzzes. ‘And you texted all of my friends too, didn’t you?’ The mobile buzzes more. ‘Shut up, Rainbow Dash!’

The Giggly Physicist does not speak since he is holding back his laughter.

Rarity sighs. ‘I am so taking back your gift now.’

‘And I have to get you seven more,’ The Laughing Physicist squeaks out, holding back the laugh.

Rarity stamps a hoof and turns her nose up, ‘Good day to you, sir.’

‘Come on. You know I am just foolin’.’

Rarity sighs. ‘Well, it is a season of forgiveness.’

Rarity’s mom leans over to Stormy. ‘Is this a schtick they have?’

Rarity holds back her comments while The Wandering Physicist starts giggling again. The last piece of luggage is placed on the coach, and the driver goes to the group.

‘All set,’ he gasps. ‘Let’s go before I pass out.’

‘Come on, girls! Let’s see the family!’ Rarity’s dad cheers.

Sweetie Belle cheers and climbs onto the coach. Rarity’s parents shake hooves with The Wandering Physicist and follow. Stormy brohoofs one last time and heads to his coach. Rarity gives The Wandering Physicist a small hug.

‘Don’t fret. We’ll be swapping holiday stories in no time.’

Rarity climbs into her coach, and the coaches head off. The Wandering Physicist waves after them.

‘Mazel tov!’

One of the coaches stops. The Wandering Physicist runs for his life as Rarity starts chasing him.

The Battered Physicist is still nursing his wounds from when Rarity caught him in the lobby of the train station. He is waiting to see one last friend off. He checks his mobile while he waits. He looks up and sees a smiling yellow earth pony really close to his personal space.

‘Howdy!’ The earth pony greets.

‘BWAH!’ The Startled Physicist shouts.

‘Is that some alien greetin’ or are ya jus’ bein’ weird again?’ Applejack grumbles.

The Panicked Physicist catches his breath. ‘Sorry. You just took me by surprise. Wassup?’

‘Huh. That sounds more like you,’ Applejack retorts.

‘Did you get Discorded again?’

‘What? No, it has been,’ -- there is a loud crash -- ‘a busy day.’ Applejack sighs.

Behind the group, Big Macintosh is placing bags back on a luggage cart while Apple Bloom tries helping and Granny Smith shouts at him. From the pattern of the bags, a young yellow filly must have either been riding the cart or trying for her luggage handler cutie mark. Both with no or less success.

‘Anyway, Jimmy, this here is mah cousin Braeburn. Braeburn, Jimmy. Braeburn was here visitin’ before we all headed out on our trip.’

‘Hey,’ The Wandering Physicist extends a brohoof.

‘Howdy!’ Braeburn starts shaking the hoof vigorously. ‘Great to meet ya! We don’t get many aliens in AAAAPPLEOOSA! ... Well, except for the little grey ones, but they ain’t that fun.’

The Wandering Physicist turns to Applejack. ‘What part of not telling anypony don’t you get?’

‘Ah ain’t breakin’ the Element of Honesty. Besides, Ah just told him yer from Southern Coltifornia, and he assumed the rest.’

‘Ugh. So I can chalk it up to all of the paint chips he ate as a foal.’ And a bit of stereotyping...

‘I was raised on good old-fashioned Apple Family Apples,’ Braeburn protests.

‘Ooookay. I am never eating apples again. I want my brain to remain intact.’

‘Why you ungrateful little...’

Applejack quickly steps between her cousin and her friend. ‘Whoa! Hold on now. He’s jus’ jokin’. Ain’t ya, Jimmy?’

‘Indeed I am, Mr Purple.’ Applejack growls at the nickname she got stuck with from The Crazy Gamer. ‘Anyway, are you sure you can’t stay? I’ll get Rei and Lucas to help me pitch in during harvest season.’

‘Sorry, Jimmy. It is Apple Family tradition t’ get together fer the holidays, and this year it is with our relatives in...’

‘AAAAPPLEANTA!’ Braeburn finishes for Applejack.

Applejack groans at her growing headache. ‘Thanks, Braeburn.’

‘Happy to help!’

‘Appleanta...’ The Pondering Physicist thinks. ‘Nope. No teams I care to make fun of.’

‘Y’all got a problem with the Braves?’ The cousins glare at the alien.

‘No. I don’t really follow basketball.’

‘Pfft. Nerd.’

‘Mr Purple.’

Braeburn looks back and forth between Applejack and The Wandering Physicist, who is checking his mobile again. ‘Do you two have a thing for each other?’

Applejack blushes. ‘What! Ah never!’

The Laughing Physicist falls off the the bench holding his sides. His laughter fills the train station and can be heard outside as well.

‘He, uh, likes mah friend Pinkie,’ Applejack stutters. ‘He really ain’t int’ good ol’ fashioned country girls like me.’ The Hiccuping Physicist is trying to catch his breath from the laughter. ‘ ‘Sides, Ah perfer a higher class o’ gentleman.’

‘Oh man! That was the best pick-me-up all day.’ The Calming Physicist puts a hoof on Braeburn’s shoulder. ‘You, sir, must be the town comedian since you know how to lift spirits so well.’

‘Actually, I am the ambadastor to the buffalo.’

‘ “Ambadastor!” Ha! He even talks like Caboose.’ The Wandering Physicist turns to Applejack. ‘Can I keep him?’

Applejack gets ready to deliver the lecture of a lifetime to The Obnoxious Physicist.

‘Uh, AJ.’

‘Not now, Big Mac!’

‘But the train’s boardin’ and Granny Smith already went ahead.’

Applejack glares at The Wandering Physicist. ‘Ya got lucky.’

He laughs and goes over to Apple Bloom. ‘Stay out of trouble, kid.’

‘Ah’ll try.’

‘Remember what I taught you.’

‘Don’ trust whitey!’

The Wandering Occupier and Apple Bloom exchange a small brohoof while Applejack silently fumes. He then brohoofs Big Macintosh and gets another overzealous hoofshake from Braeburn. Applejack comes over, still sporting a grumpy look. The Wandering Physicist leans in close with his muzzle by the side of Applejack’s face that her family cannot see.

‘Told you I would get you back for that Rarity joke, Mr Purple,’ The Infuriating Physicist whispers.

Applejack goes from orange to red in a combination of anger and embarrassment. She marches past her family and straight onto the train. The family shrugs and follows.

‘Ah thought he was with Fluttershy,’ Apple Bloom says to Big Macintosh as they board.

‘Well...’

The Wandering Physicist laughs again and starts heading back to his shop.

At The Power Block, The Wandering Physicist is still laughing about the prank he pulled on Applejack and finding out Rarity’s religion. He sets his cake, gift from Fluttershy and sack of oranges on the counter as he resumes his normal station. He looks around the store and sees it emptier than when he left. His content smile is instantly replaced by an intense frown. He checks his mobile for any messages but sees none.

‘I hate the holidays.’

The next day, The Depressed Physicist is still pretty much where he was when he returned from the train station. All of his friends, with Big Macintosh answering for Applejack, have reported that they made it home fine. He also received a report of the return of Nightmare Moon from Rei, followed immediately with offers to make Rei the first non-princess to visit the moon from Luna. Without anypony to talk to, though, he is moping around the shop, hoping that anypony would show up. He is so wrapped in feeling miserable that he does not immediately notice the grey hoof waving in front of his face.

‘Hey, Chief. You there?’ Derpy asks.

‘Wha? Oh. Hey D-Squared.’

‘Are you okay?’ Derpy looks where The Wandering Physicist was staring. ‘Or are you just undressing Shepard?’

‘Sorry. I just haven’t had anyone to talk to in,’ -- checks his mobile -- ‘almost twenty-four hours.’

‘Sheesh! Chief, you’re coming with me right now.’ Derpy grabs The Wandering Physicist’s foreleg and pulls.

‘I’m good. Besides, you’re on duty.’

‘You’re the last stop on my route today. Everypony else is gone for a while.’

‘Dirty traitors.’

‘Come on. We’ll stop by the office so I can check out then you’re coming over for dinner.’

‘Arg! You are sounding like the Cakes.’

‘Oh, are you seeing them instead? I won’t interfere.’

‘No. They just told me to give them a call.’ Pauses. ‘By the way, want some holiday cake?’

The Wandering Physicist slides a half-eaten cake over to Derpy. There are no utensils and his hoofs are clean of chocolate. Derpy frowns at the obvious bite marks.

‘I’m good. Come on. Let’s get going. I am sure Dinky would love to meet you.’

A DS is pulled out. ‘First to eliminate four of...’

Derpy cuts The Pokè Master off with a growl. ‘Fine. But the offer stands. I want to see you for dinner soon.’

The Moping Physicist moans loudly. Derpy growls again and leaves. The Pouting Physicist frowns at the door before resuming his nothing.

In an odd change of pace, The Wandering Physicist is out of the shop the next day. He is out of supplies and needs to go shopping. He would normally be collecting stares from the busy market place for wearing a bathrobe and Panama hat shopping, but most of the stalls are empty. He is currently glaring at the selection of produce at one of the few open shops.

‘Don’t you have anything edible? Like potatoes? Or onions? Or pineapple? Or garlic?’

‘Sorry,’ the shopkeeper, a yellow earth pony with an orange mane, replies. ‘I am in short supply right now. I normally have a limited stock while everypony is out of town, but I assure you that these are of the highest quality. I specially grew all of these vegetables just for this season in my private hothouse.’

The Wandering Physicist moans. This is the only stall with food. The shopkeeper looks her customer over.

‘You’re Derpy’s friend, aren’t you? The Wanderer or something like that?’

‘How did you know?’

‘Well, I think I recognize that doctor she is always running around with. You are the only other pony she ever mentions.’

‘Are you a sister or..?’

‘What? No. Just friends.’

‘Sorry. What with Dinky and all...’

‘Hey! You know what! You should come over for dinner tonight! That would make her happy.’

The Wandering Physicist groans. ‘She put you up to this, didn’t she?’

‘No. Why?’

‘Bah. She came by my shop and asked me yesterday.’

‘Good! Then she is expecting you. If you help me pack everything away, we can go now.’ She starts removing the signs from her stall. ‘Oh! By the way, I am Carrot Top.’

The Eating Physicist swallows. ‘Charmed.’

Carrot Top stares. ‘What did you just do?’

The Digesting Physicist wipes some stems from his goatee. ‘Nothing. Just helping you pack everything away.’

Carrot Top looks at her stall. ‘You ate all of my radishes!’

‘Key to a healthy urethra: radishes.’

Carrot Top does not know whether to be confused or disgusted. ‘Just, just don’t eat anything else until we are at Derpy’s.’

‘Sorry. Here.’ He tosses a bag of bits on the stall. ‘I didn’t see the price, but I assume that is close to double.’

Carrot Top gives The Wandering Physicist a confused look, but she takes the money, and they finish packing up the stall.

The next morning, The Stuffed Physicist is sleeping off the large meal at Derpy’s house. He had no idea that muffins could be made into both casserole and cake forms. Nor did he know that unicorns younger than Sweetie Belle could be as inquisitive and thoughtful as Twilight. All he knows is that sleep is amazing.

There is a loud crash outside followed by swearing. The Drowsy Physicist gets out of bed and looks out a window. Some genius is trying to park a large wagon alongside his building. ... Wait. That is not right.

The Wandering Physicist rushes downstairs, throwing a coat over the bathrobe he is still wearing from the day before. The wagon is alongside the building not facing any major pathways, but it is still being parked for no reason.

‘Hey! You can’t park here!’ He starts running around the side of the wagon. ‘No se puede aparcar aquí! あなたがここに駐車することはできません’

‘The Great and Powerful Trixie can park it wherever she wants,’ is shouted back. Trixie comes around from the front of the wagon. ‘Wait. That didn’t come out right.’

‘Trixie?’ Trixie clears her throat, expecting more. ‘Oh right. ‘Trixie, what the frak are you doing here?’

Trixie scowls. ‘Have you forgotten your manners in the... What in Celestia’s beard? I mean, what in Celestia’s name have you beard? No, I mean,’ -- takes a breath -- ‘Beard! Damn it!’

The Bearded Physicist fluffs his forming beard. ‘It isn’t that big yet.’

‘I can see it growing right now!’ Trixie turns away. ‘Shave it off or I am not coming in.’

‘Okay. See ya.’

The Wandering Beard turns and reenters the shop.

‘Are you going to...’

‘Nope!’

Trixie snorts. ‘Trixie has to do what Trixie has to do...’

The Shaven Physicist is nursing an eye twitch as he drinks a cup of tea. Trixie is busying herself in all of the kitchen cabinets.

‘Don’t you have any breakfast foods? How do you expect me to live like this?’ Trixie complains. ‘You don’t even have coffee.’

‘I don’t drink coffee, nor does Rei. If you want something to eat, Rei should have left some cereal.’

‘Yes, I found a half-eaten box.’

‘There you go.’

Trixie turns and levitates the box to the table. ‘No, it is literally half-eaten.’

‘At least she is getting some fiber...’ The Groggy Physicist mumbles as he examines the box. He groans. ‘I don’t have time for this. I should be in bed.’

‘It is almost ten. We should be out greeting the day. I’ve been pulling a wagon for the last three hours, and I have more energy than you.’

The Grumpy Physicist heads to his room. ‘Why are you even here?’

‘Somepony is snippy.’

‘I haven’t had a good couple of days. You can probably tell by the fact your biggest fan isn’t here kissing your hooves.’

‘Yes, where is my adoring public?’

The Wandering Physicist just groans and closes the door behind him.

Several hours of loud daytime television and obnoxious laughing later, The Extremely Irked Physicist comes out of his room. Trixie is laying on the couch watching television. She does not seem to know or care that she is imposing. She looks up at her host.

‘Care for some cake I found? It is quite divine.’

‘You know I didn’t use any utensils to eat that right.’

Trixie giggles as she takes another bite. ‘So it is like an indirect kiss?’

‘If you put it that way, yes, indirectly.’ Trixie giggles more. ‘With Twilight too if you wish to extrapolate a bit.’

Trixie stops eating. She looks down at the cake. She uses her magic to throw it out the open window. ‘Disgusting bunch of carbs and fat. It is going to go straight to Trixie’s hips.’

‘It looks like it will have friends.’

‘My, my, my. I have not seen attitude like this since the first time I met Rainbow Dash.’

‘Ugh.’ The Annoyed Physicist chugs the rest of the tea he left out. ‘Why are you here?’

‘I am between shows and felt like stopping by to see my friends. You happen to be on the way to my next booking.’

‘Why are you here?’

‘Well, uh, last time I parked in the middle of town, I ended up having to shop for a new wagon. You are enough off the beaten path, I figured it was safe.’

‘Yeah...’ The Wandering Physicist pulls out his sonic and points it at the television. It instantly changes to a game’s loading screen. ‘I am going to play Skyrim for the next few hours. Then after dinner, I am going play Skyward Sword until I go to sleep. If you want to tell me the truth anytime before then, I will find a pause button.’

The Wandering Physicist plops on the couch right in front of Trixie’s nose. She ‘eep’s, growls and settles in to watch him play.

Trixie is actually enjoying watching the game. She has made herself comfortable once more as she snacks on treats she found in Rei’s room. The Wandering Physicist set up Rei’s room for Trixie to use. Somehow, it looks just like the inside of Trixie’s wagon complete with the ‘special reading material’ under the bed. Trixie has a small laugh to herself.

‘I have two questions for you.’

‘Shoot.’

‘Does Twilight have a system that can play this game?’

‘Yeah...’

‘Then do you have a copy of it I can get for her?’

The Wandering Physicist sets down his controller. ‘Are you saying that you want to get a game that features killing dragons for somepony that has a dragon for a close, personal friend?’

Trixie giggles. ‘It would be so wicked.’

‘If you were really serious about getting Twilight or her friends a real gift, get them something from your travels. I am sure they would love it.’

‘Y-you really think so?’

‘Well, the fact that you actually got them something selflessly would be a big surprise, but it would be something nice to do.’

Trixie looks down. ‘I-I never thought of that.’

‘Which part?’

‘Listen! I am known to be a great gift giver! My travels and stature allows me to procure the finest spirits when gifts are required.’

The Wandering Physicist rolls his eyes. ‘The Sloppy and Drunk Trixie.’

‘It is tradition! The kids get our parents liquors while we receive money in return. Usually only eighty proof or above will go over, but sixty gets accepted if the bottle is large enough or it is high enough quality.’

‘Wow. You really have the system worked out. Booze and money and adjectives everywhere.’

‘It is not what you are making it out to be. Sure, we all have grandiose titles, and my two would be considered modest by some of my elders, and the spirits do flow freely, but we are a normal family like every other one you can name.’

‘Yeah. All magicians and poor sports. I’d love to see family game night.’

‘We are performers. Entertainers. Experts of illusion.’

‘Fine. So your imaginary friends are “real”. Still doesn’t change the fact that half of the members of your family I have met would not have even gotten this far with me.’

‘Ugh. Maxie. Forget about him. His whole side of the family are dirty people. Stupid, dirty people. I am getting sick just talking about them.’

‘Ooo. The touchy and painful subject. Wait until Twitter hears your great and powerful dirty secret.’

‘Ha, ha, ha. Every family has its issues. I can’t be the only one in the room with family problems.’

The Wandering Physicist glares and gets up. ‘This is over.’ He heads over to his TARDIS. ‘Sorry for everything I said.’

‘Don’t be a spoilsport. This was just getting fun.’ Trixie laughs smugly as she lays down again. ‘I thought for sure we were building towards,’ -- imitates a male voice -- ‘ “well you have a stallion in every city,” ’ -- back to her normal voice -- ‘and I would reply, “yeah, well, you are trying to nail my rival,” and we’d laugh.’

‘You know what, forget everything. Just do what you want. I had a nice thing going before you showed up.’

Trixie is shocked. ‘When I showed up, you looked miserable, and I have seen ursas with less facial hair. Don’t tell me that was a “nice thing”. I have seen that face before, and it is not a “nice thing!” You should be thanking me for showing up and saving you!’

‘You just randomly come to town and butt into my life and pretend to know what is going on? I have a well thought out system for my depression that works. When somepony interferes, that only makes it worse. Big freaking hero you are.’

‘You have a system for depression? This town is worse than I thought. Everypony here should be quarantined until Celestia can wipe this blight from the planet. The amount of crazy in the world would drop by ninety percent. From just removing this building and the library too!’

The Furious Physicist forces down his anger. ‘Whatever. Just whatever. Do what you want. I’m going to get some dinner then crash. Just try to keep it down when I get back.’

The Wandering Physicist enters the TARDIS and slams the door. Trixie rushes to the doors and opens them to find a closet.

‘Where are you...’

The TARDIS powers up and leaves. All that remain are the closet doors where it normally is parked. Trixie stares in disbelief. She screams as loud as she can and slams the door.

‘Every time, Trixie! Every single time!’

Trixie marches to her guest room, slams the door behind her and screams again.

The Wandering Physicist is trying to sleep off his fight with Trixie. They did not speak when he returned. They have been avoiding each other. The Wandering Physicist is tossing and turning in his sleep. At least he hopes it is sleep.

There is a flash outside of his bedroom door. After a gentle knock, Twilight peeks her head in.

‘Mr Wanderer?’ Twilight asks.

The Startled Physicist awakes with a jolt. ‘What the?’

‘Shh. I just teleported in real quick to see you.’

‘How did you...’

‘Shh. Let’s just let our bodies do the talking...’

Twilight goes over to the bed and climbs in. She locks The Surprised Physicist in a deep kiss and pushes him back. She get him to his back and starts reaching down his... Suddenly, he sits up and shoves Twilight across the room. She slams into the wall hard. The Angry Physicist draws his sonic and aims it at her. Twilight dissolves into Trixie as her illusion is undone.

‘What the serious f...’

Trixie starts crying. ‘How did you know?’ She sobs.

‘How didn’t I know! First, you reek of alcohol. Second, Twilight would never leave her family in the middle of a visit. Finally, she would never, NEVER do what you tried to do!’ He sets down his sonic and tries collecting himself. ‘What made you think this was a good idea? ... Besides the booze!’

‘I’m sorry. I just thought...’

‘No. Never mind.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘Listen. We had a bit of a fight earlier. You just did something utterly retarded. Let’s just try to get some sleep. Cool our heads. We can go somewhere nice and public for breakfast and just work everything out.’

Trixie just nods. ‘Okay.’

Trixie picks herself up and heads to the door.

‘Trixie. Listen, I am sorry about the harsh words earlier... and now... Sorry... Just sorry... I can’t think of anything better.’

Trixie nods and sighs as she leaves the room.

Once more, The Wandering Physicist is woken up by loud sound from his shop. This time it is knocking. He swears loudly at the noise, and that seems to work. Seconds later, a text message reveals that it is Derpy out front. He swears again and gets up.

Outside of the main entrance, Derpy and Carrot Top are carrying a passed out Trixie. Derpy waves as The Wandering Physicist rushes to open the door. The mares carry Trixie into the shop and lay her down.

‘Wh-what happened?’ The Confused Physicist asks.

‘I found her sleeping in my stall this morning,’ Carrot Top explains. ‘I think she was out with Berry Punch last night, given her random mumblings.’

‘You’re going to have to forgive me for not knowing every pony in town.’

‘Berry is a bit of a party animal. Not like Pinkie, but she has a bit of bad reputation since we were in school,’ Carrot Top replies.

‘She knows to stop when buzzed. Trixie here...’ Derpy adds.

‘And why did you bring Trixie back here? Your stall is across town.’

‘It is not that far!’ Carrot Top complains. ‘I was going to take her to Derpy’s, but she kept saying your name along with words I am certain Dinky is too young to hear so I asked Derpy to show me to your place.’

‘She fell asleep along the way here, Chief.’ Derpy adds. ‘She just needs a warm bed and time to rest to work the alcohol out of her system. Protein would be good too if she wakes up.’

‘Fine. Just toss her in her wagon. If it is too cold, push it into the middle of the street and light it up.’

‘Whoa! Chief! Where is that coming from?’

‘Last night, she... Never mind. It is personal.’

‘She... tried doing things. Right?’ Carrot Top blushes.

The Wandering Physicist winces. ‘How did you know?’

Carrot Top looks away. ‘It-it took me several minutes to finally contact Derpy when I found her.’

All the awake ponies awkwardly look away from each other. There is a loud snort, and Trixie looks up.

‘Where am I? Who are all of you? ‘ She focuses on Carrot Top. ‘What is wrong with your hair?’

‘Nothing is wrong with my hair.’

‘No, no. Let me fix it.’

Trixie’s horn glows for a moment and POOF! Carrot Top’s hair is turned bright green. Trixie immediately falls asleep again.

‘I second the wagon idea,’ Carrot Top grumbles.

‘We’ll fix it... again,’ Derpy assures.

The Wandering Physicist winces for several seconds. ‘Frak. Okay. If you help me get her upstairs, I’ll take care of her.’ He turns to Carrot Top. ‘And if you don’t ask how, I will undo that spell.’

‘Will it hurt? I mean, you’re not a unicorn...’

‘Only side effect is temporary deafness at the worst.’

‘Ooo! I know somepony who is getting a special carrot cake for the holiday this year.’

‘Is it me!’ Derpy cheers.

Carrot Top sighs. ‘You always get special carrot cakes.’

‘Woo hoo!’ Derpy does a small flip. ‘Carrot cake and carrot muffins!’

‘Uh... more important problem?’ The Wandering Physicist interrupts.

‘Right! Onward to muffins!’

Derpy lifts Trixie by her forelegs and drags her upstairs.

Trixie wakes to the smell of coffee. She opens her eyes and instantly screams as a smaller version of The Wandering Physicist is the first thing she sees.

The Gaming Physicist pauses his game. ‘About time you woke up, you take up a lot of couch space.’

Trixie tries backing up, but she falls off the couch. Her eyes lock on the cutie mark of her host.

‘Miss Pervert. There is coffee for you.’ The Wandering Physicist motions to the kitchen. ‘Picked it up this morning. Just finished brewing.’

Trixie looks to the kitchen and sees a steaming mug, literally, with her name on it. It also has her face on it, and she recognizes it as her personal mug from her wagon. She gets up and examines drink.

‘What is this?’ Trixie asks after a quick sip.

‘Freshly roasted java cappuccino. The only coffee I’ll allow in my house.’ The Wandering Foodie answers as he downs his cup.

‘How did you get fresh java?’

‘Tell me why you are here and I’ll tell you my secret.’

‘I told you already. I was...’

‘Lying.’

‘Hmpf. Ass.’

‘Oh, and I fixed Carrot Top’s hair for you.’

‘Who?’

‘The pony whose stall you borrowed last night and whose hair you transformed this morning.’

‘Oh! You mean Golden Harvest. Berryshine told me about her last night.’

The Wandering Physicist shakes his head at Trixie. ‘Those are nowhere near right. It would be like calling you The Beautiful and Stunning Lulamoon.’

Trixie thinks for a moment. ‘Do you have a copyright on that name?’

‘Creative Commons.’

‘Yes!’

‘Noncommercial.’

‘You suck.’ Trixie drinks her coffee. ‘Nectar of the gods, rejuvenate me.’

‘Why did you pass out drunk in a stranger’s market stall?’

‘Who are you? My mother?’

‘I have a strand of your hair, a sonic, a mobile and an app for that. I can get her private number on the line in ten seconds flat. Try me.’

Trixie stares into her coffee. ‘After what I did to you that I just wanted to erase all memory of my stupidity. Then you woke me up and reminded me.’ Her frown intensifies. ‘Do you have a setting on that thing that can erase memories?’

‘How far back do you want to go?’

Trixie scowls. ‘Sixteen years. When I got my cutie mark. Just to be a normal young unicorn again back in magic kindergarten.’

‘I’ve heard only bad thi...’

‘Canterlot magic kindergarten are different from Manehattan ones. Especially private schools.’

‘You were rich?’

‘What do you mean “were”?’ Trixie scoffs. ‘We’re the number one illusory entertainment family in the whole world. Five generations, two still active... minus my cousins.’

‘How come illusory entertainment sounds like something involving se...’

‘It is not! Seven major court battles proves it is not!’

‘After last night...’

‘You are never going to let that go, are you?’

‘You disguised yourself as one of my best friends and tried doing things to me! You are lucky I let you back in here after that.’

Trixie forces back tears. ‘I am so sorry about that. Please believe me.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘It was late. You were drunk and lonely. We don’t have to claim it was anything else.’

‘Thank you.’ Trixie takes a long sip of her drink. ‘I don’t have romantic feelings for you. You can be assured of that.’

‘I know.’

Both ponies sit in silence for a moment.

‘I could have been home right now,’ Trixie sighs. ‘I have just spent so much time on the road...’

‘Nope.’

Trixie growls. ‘Fine. I hate them! I hate the Manehattan attitude. I hate the elite behavior. I hate the politics. I hate it all! It is all games to them. ... Especially her... Real life is the illusion in the family of illusions...’

‘Yet you are a great traveler.’

‘We all are, but it is all an act to them. Literally! I can get as many sold-out bookings as they do, but I am also willing to play small venues like Ponyville. The big city and professionally-schooled unicorns don’t come to our shows, but a Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville would. If she saw even ten minutes of the shows my family performs... A rampaging ursa would be a fitting disturbance.’

‘In our first meeting, you summoned an illusory one and last night you assumed the guise of one of my friends. That reeks of powerful magic.’

‘And a real ursa could easily behead a fake Twilight. Even if it is my mom behind the illusion,’ Trixie snorts then sighs. ‘At least my younger brother is spared the illusion of illusions.’

‘Not a performer?’

‘No, he got into music. I have some of his music in my wagon. I’ll get it for you.’

Trixie goes into Rei’s room and returns with a CD. The Wandering Physicist is a little surprised.

‘What? Your little trick? Please,’ Trixie rolls her eyes. ‘I was the one who called my family out for using illusions instead of maintaining simple coat and mane care. Some of them just hired ponies to do it for them.’

‘For one with an elevated opinion of herself, you seem to have a very critical eye towards others.’

‘You have to in that household. Canterlot nobility has nothing on Manehattan elites. The nobility will just look down their nose and tease you until they eventually get bored. The elites are sharks. One drop of blood, and you are destroyed.’

‘That is a myth.’

‘What?’

‘Sharks need more than one drop to go into a frenzy. Myth.’

‘Whatever.’ Trixie finishes her coffee. ‘Well, that is a lot of my baggage. What about you? What are you hiding behind your SoColt surfer attitude?’

The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘Well, I did make that deal. Come with me.’

The Wandering Physicist leads Trixie to an unassuming closet.

‘Right. This. I am still baffled how this trick works, especially since it is on the outside wall.’

The Wandering Physicist smirks. ‘You just need the right key.’

The doors are unlocked and pushed open to reveal the TARDIS. Trixie’s jaw hits the floor. She pokes her head in then pulls it out. She takes a couple steps in then backs right out.

‘This, this, this is...’

‘This is why I cannot have too many close friends. Very few ponies know the inner workings of my ship and now you cannot tell anypony what you have seen or else you will end up playing cards with Nightmare Moon a hundred years before your great-grandfather was even a sperm cell. Understand?’

‘So, time and space?’ Trixie stakes the TARDIS in. ‘Can we...’

‘You cannot visit your younger self. Big explosion.’

‘How can you live with such a thing? The potential knowledge would crush even the princesses.’

The Wandering Physicist looks around his ship. ‘And it destroyed my people...’

‘What?’

‘Me and a mate are the last. He fought his way through the war that ended our race. I was in line for a Wii.’

‘But all of your friends...’

‘Were jerks! My mate, he was the only one who was ever nice to me.’

‘But your family...’

‘We’re not big on family where I am from. Well, not all of us. Besides, I have a new family now. One that actually loves me back. Lucas, Rei, Twilight, Pinkie and even Coal a little, even if he is a daft pony from Canida. Whenever I get down, I just think of them and smile.’ The Wandering Physicist lets out a big sigh. ‘I miss them terribly, Trixie. Terribly.’

‘Time and space!’

‘This isn’t a toy.’ The Wandering Physicist scolds. ‘I can’t just fly around willy-nilly. That is how I was able to stay safe all of these years.’

‘If I were you, I would find a red suit by this evening and make a lot of ponies happy.’

The Wandering Physicist presses a button, and the suit Trixie was imagining lowers from the ceiling.

‘That is for later,’ he says with a smirk. ‘Now, we should get ready for dinner. Derpy and Carrot Top are expecting us.’

‘Dinner? How late is it?’

‘Mid-afternoon, but I know how you young fillies like to take your time getting ready.’

‘What does that mean? I am only a couple years older than Twilight. We’re about the same age.’

The Wandering Physicist goes over to Trixie and looks her in the eye. ‘Multiply that by a little over ten.’

Trixie stares into The Wandering Physicist’s eyes. ‘Oh wow. The things you have seen...’

‘Dinner in a few hours. Let’s get ready.’

‘Okay... But I have to get at least one story for my act.’

‘Noncommercial.’

‘Damn you to hell!’

The Wandering Physicist and Trixie are parked on the couch watching a movie after their dinner with their new acquaintances. They are a little tired from some after-dinner errands The Wandering Physicist had to run. Trixie is still wearing her red fur hat from their adventure.

‘Ooooo! Fuuuudge!!’ the movie broadcasts in surround sound.

The two ponies laugh at the scene. Trixie laughs a bit longer and smiles at her host.

‘I had a great time. Thanks for allowing me to join you.’

‘Glad you liked it. Operations like those go better when you have a stooge running interference.’

‘Hmpf. Glad I could be of some use.’

‘Besides, you haven’t asked your question yet.’

‘Oh? I have a question for you? What is it? Was that it?’

‘You know exactly what you want to ask.’

Trixie looks ashamed. ‘Well, you already gave me an idea of something nice to get Twilight and her friends for all of help they gave me last time I was here. I know what you would want the most, but we saw her when we were in Canterlot a bit ago.’

‘Trixie....’

‘Anyway, may I borrow your spaceship to make a delivery?’

The Wandering Physicist feigns surprise. ‘Oh? Where to?’

At a high-rise apartment in Manehattan, a late holiday party is turning into an all-nighter. Off in one of the many guest rooms, a light blue unicorn stallion with a dark silver mane is holding a pillow over his head to try and get some sleep.

‘You know that won’t work. Not when they are on their fifth bottle.’

The stallion bolts up to see Trixie standing at the foot of the bed. She smiles and holds her forelegs up. The stallion crawls across the bed and embraces Trixie.

‘Trix! I haven’t seen you in forever!’ The stallion starts crying. ‘Where have you been?’

Trixie fights back tears of her own. ‘Oh, here and there. I am currently between acts and in Ponyville now.’

‘What are you doing here? When did you get back?’

‘I am not staying long. I just came to see you. Don’t tell the family I was here, okay?’ Trixie pauses for a moment. ‘Unless it is mom alone...’

‘Yeah. Anything for you.’ He squeezes his sister tight. ‘It is just so good seeing you.’

‘Anything for my favorite brother.’

There is a bit of a crash, and The Wandering Physicist falls out of a wardrobe.

‘Sorry about that.’ He says as he picks himself up. ‘Just got a little worked up myself.’

‘Who is...’

‘You know the song Pull My Cart?’ Trixie gets a nod in return. ‘Well, I am great and powerful, you know.’

‘Um, hey. I listened to some of your stuff. Really good.’ The Wandering Physicist mumbles.

‘Thanks, man.’

‘Yeah, so I passed it along to some of my friends, and they’ll help you get published and get you out of some of the bum contracts you’re in.’

‘What? Who..?’

‘Shh.’

‘Also, while you are in town, I know some devs who would like your sound too. Stop by...’ -- tosses some business cards on the bed -- ‘Atari, Rockstar or Take Two and just mention The Wandering Physicist, and they should be cool.’

‘Yeah. Thanks, man. Who...’

The Wandering Physicist winks. ‘Just a friend.’ He turns to Trixie. ‘Take as long as you need.’ He goes back to the wardrobe. ‘And don’t think this is your gift. I have something special for you.’

The wardrobe closes. Trixie laughs at her friend.

‘Who is he and what is he doing to my wardrobe?’ Trixie’s brother asks.

The Wandering Physicist pops out again. ‘Did I mention: time machine?’

The Wandering Physicist is curled up in bed. He is finally getting a chance to...

‘Chief! Wake up! The Dal... ACK!’

Derpy starts coughing up the pillow that was shoved down her throat. The Wandering Physicist rolls over to try and go back to sleep.

‘Told you that wouldn’.... ACK!’

Trixie starts coughing up the pillow that was thrown with precision aim down her throat.

‘Well, happy holidays to you too!’

‘I’ll celebrate later. Just give me some time to sleep. ... and my pillows back.’

Trixie rolls her eyes. ‘Oh for the love of... There is only one pony that can get him out of bed.’

Trixie picks up The Wandering Physicist’s mobile, finds the number she is looking for, and dials.

Twilight is bouncing around her parent’s house in a state of pure glee. She does not even notice that her mobile is ringing. It appears she and her family were in the middle of opening their gifts.

‘Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!’

‘I thought she got over doing that?’ Night Light says as he covers his ears.

‘Hey. Don’t look at me,’ Spike responds while covering his ears.

‘Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!’

‘Dear, calm down!’ Twilight Velvet looks over the gifts. ‘What did she get to excite her so much?’

Spike starts digging through the gifts. ‘I have no id...’ He stops as he sees a large basket of gems. The card on the basket reads: ‘To: Spike. From: TWP’.

‘Great. I think we lost him too,’ Mr. Sparkle muses.

‘Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!’

‘And somepony find a volume control for her!’

Twilight’s parents continue to try to calm their daughter down. They fail to notice a small box with an open locket inside. The locket is heart-shaped. On one side, there is a picture of Twilight and The Wandering Physicist together. The other side has an etching: ‘To Twilight Sparkle, The real Want-It, Need-It Spell’.

‘Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!’

In another part of Canterlot, the princesses are having a much smaller gift exchange since it is just the two of them... and a hyperactive pegasus guest of Princess Luna. Having successfully distracted Rei with faux royal regalia from the princesses and a new (and unreleased) Vita from The Wandering Physicist, the princesses can finally exchange gifts with each other. Luna eyes the banana print-wrapped gift with some trepidation. Celestia watches while wearing her new hoof-stitched starry cloak and giggles at her sister’s reaction.

‘What is the matter, little sister? Don’t you like bananas?’ Celestia giggles.

Luna groans and starts opening the gift. ‘Must everything be a joke with you, sister?’

The younger princess opens the gift and reveals a simple phoenix doll. Her eyes go wide, and she starts tearing up. Celestia gives her sister a gentle nuzzle.

‘I remembered how much you loved the one from our foalhood. I would have fixed up the original, but I don’t remember where it disappeared to.’

‘Do... do you think Philomena would mind a visitor later?’

Celestia’s eye instantly twitches. ‘Now I remember what happened to that doll.’

Outside of a window, Discord and Philomena fly past, chased by royal guards.

‘Oh! Oh!’ Rei drops from above. ‘That reminds me! Wanderer-san asked me to say “hi!” to the him for him!’

Celestia imagines how Discord and the hyperactive filly before her would behave together. She instantly looms over Rei in the guise of Solar Flare, sun goddess of destruction.

‘You are never going near that fiend! Ever!’

Rei learns true fear for the first time in her life. She also remembers something that could easily diffuse the situation.

‘Be-arr-b!’

Rei zooms off to get something from her room. Celestia snorts at the thought of Discord. Luna plays with her doll gleefully.

‘I wonder why he didn’t come to see me when he was free again,’ Luna ponders.

‘Because Twilight Sparkle is still alive in this universe,’ Rei replies as she happily trots into the room.

Rei instantly freezes where she is with her wings and tail sticking straight out. Celestia and Luna stare at her in shock.

‘Uh... I mean... BEHOLD!’ Rei shouts in her best Royal Canterlot Voice and holds up a small package.

Both princesses are shocked at the large voice from the small filly.

‘I never knew we sounded like that.’ Luna readjusts her tiara and necklace back into position.

‘What!’ Celestia yells.

Rei sets the gift in front of Luna. ‘Wanderer-san told me to give it to you when your sister was around.’

Luna gets the eye twitch now. ‘How thoughtful of him...’

‘So he’s her secret boyfriend she has been sneaking off to see without me knowing!’ Luna scowls at her sister. Celestia smiles back. ‘What did he get her?’

Rei beams while Luna scowls. ‘Well, it is really from both of us. We had it custom made just for Luna.’ Luna opens the box. ‘It is a broach with the seal of The New Lunar Republic of my world. I made sure the design was perfect, and he had it custom forged for you.’

‘How... thoughtful of him,’ Luna smiles as she levitates the broach out of the box to examine it.

‘That was very sweet of him.’ Celestia nudges her sister. ‘Remember to thank him properly when you sneak out again.’

‘What? Yes! I will.’ Luna puts the broach with her phoenix doll. She smiles at both gifts.

There is a knock on the door and one of the unicorn attendants steps in.

‘Princess Twilight Sparkle, is here to see you.’

‘Send her in.’ Celestia replies.

Twilight bounces in after being pushed in the right direction by Spike.

‘Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!’

In rural Canida near the Equestrian border, Coal Tale is enjoying his holiday by reading all the new books he received. The day is also a lot quieter than he hoped.

‘Coal!’ a voice calls from another room in the house. ‘Get your brother and come down here for some brunch.’

Coal grumbles and gets up. He leaves his room and knocks on Droll’s door.

‘Idiot. Time for brunch.’

There is no answer. Coal opens the door and looks in. The general disarray is normal for Droll, but the one clean spot with a small note is very conspicuous. Coal reads the note and gets a large grin. He picks it up to show his family. The note reads: ‘He won’t bother you for 24hr. You’re welcome. TWP.’

Pinkie is sleeping late after staying up finishing preparations for the holiday party later that day. Everything is peaceful until Pinkie wakes up right on cue to begin the party. Only one problem.

‘Bats! Bats on my face!’

The holiday card drops from her face and lands in her lap. She giggles at her silliness and picks up the card.

‘First, I added a few more settings to your cannon and upgraded your artillery with some more special effects.’

Pinkie checks out her party cannon. She notices new settings. One has a fir tree and lights on it. The other has a heart on it. She can barely contain a giddy squeal when she notices the heart has ‘PP + TWP’ inside it.

‘Second, I got you some special fireworks.’

Pinkie looks around and notice a small pile of a dozen bottle rockets. All of them have interesting names. On top is another note: ‘Try one out.’ There is a string going to a rocket aimed out the window. It is labeled: ‘How Equestria was Made’. Pinkie giggles and sets it off. The rocket shoots into the sky and explodes. A beautiful rainbow spreads over the Pie family farm. Pinkie gets the most joyful grin on her face as she quickly turns back to the card to see what else she is getting.

‘Last, you were too distracted by the rainbow to take in the whole field, weren’t you?’

Pinkie rushes back to the window and shoves her head out. The rest of her family is outside trying to figure out what happened.

‘Pinkamena Diane Pie! What’s goin’ on!’ Pinkie’s father shouts.

Pinkie scans the field. All of the rocks have been rearranged to look like her. The image is positioned such that it looks like the ends of the rainbow are coming from Pinkie’s hooves. Pinkie starts jumping up and down in the window.

‘Look at the field! Look at the field!’ Pinkie points as she almost falls out of the window.

The family looks where Pinkie is pointing and all laugh or smile at what they see. Pinkie makes a mad dash outside to join her family.

‘I knew you would like it. XOXO. TWP.’

Rarity’s family is enjoying a nice, warm, sunny day on a Floridoe beach. Rarity’s mom takes a large, fruity drink from a waiter and goes back to watching her husband and youngest daughter playing. Rarity takes an equally fancy drink and goes back to watching the waiter.

‘Those Gentiles can make great drinks, even if they charge a bit much.’

‘Yes. Drinks. Very tasty. Very. Tasty.’

Rarity’s mom smacks her daughter in the back of the head. ‘You already have two great men in your life, and you act like they are a couple of schlubs.’

‘Mother!’

‘Sure, that Stormy is still a boychick, but you could do worse.’

‘How I conduct my romantic affairs is none of your business.’

‘What, you’re still holding out for a prince or something? Believe you me, princes are more trouble than they’re worth. Your father there has more chutzpah than all of them put together.’ She starts sipping her drink. ‘Not to mention he’s bigger... you know.’

‘MOTHER!’ Rarity stands so quickly she spills her drink.

‘Rarity, calm down before everypony thinks you’re meshuggeneh.’

‘I will not sit here and be talked to like this, mother. I am going back to my room.’

Rarity starts marching away.

‘Oy! Again with the “own room” deal. You do plan on seeing your family sometime, right?’

‘I will join you for dinner, if that is what you are asking.’

‘Great! We know this amazing Panda restaurant you just have to try.’

Rarity stops and shudders. Can’t you stop being a walking stereotype for one moment! she shouts in her head before turning back and smiling. ‘Sounds nice.’

Rarity marches into the hotel and goes straight for the elevator. Once she reaches her floor, she heads right to her room and prepares to let out the scream of a lifetime (or afternoon for those that know her personally). She opens the door and is crushed by a roll of fabric. Before she can complain, she looks around the room and sees it filled with the finest fabrics she knows as well as some that are completely alien to her. That is when she notices a note taped to the door.

‘Hope this makes up for the days I missed. TWP. PS: Don’t go near the green with red lining if you have a benzene allergy.’

Rarity squeals with delight and starts rubbing herself on all of the fabrics, avoiding the green with red lining.

Stormy is with his family for the first time in years. He is using boredom to hide his nervousness. All of the attention being paid to him is a little unnerving. Since he has been absent for so many years, his gift haul is relatively small compared to his cousins. Towards the end of the gift exchange, Stormy’s grandmother and aunt approach him with a small stack of old books.

‘Uh, Stormy. We have something, um, special for you,’ his grandmother says.

‘We know your special talent is baking, just like your mothers. We have been saving these since...’ His aunt starts to explain.

‘These are your mother’s notebooks and all of her recipes.’

Stormy takes the notebooks and starts flipping through them. ‘My mother’s...’
~~~~~~~~~~~~

At Ponyville Medical, a dark purple unicorn is resting in her bed. There is a brief flash of light in the room, and Stormy steps into the room. The resting mare stirs in her bed.

‘Who is there?’ the unicorn, Raspberry Soufflé, asks as she sits up.

‘Uh.... hey?’ Stormy replies.

There are a pair of thuds from behind Stormy coming from obvious facehooves.

‘Strawberry?’ Raspberry spots Stormy. ‘Oh! It is you Strawberry!’ She waves Stormy over. ‘Come here! I am so glad to see you!’

‘It is good to see you, too, mom.’

‘Look at you. All grown up.’ Raspberry takes in her son. ‘My boy grows up to be such a handsome young stallion.’ She eyes him. ‘That beard is a bit ridiculous though. Don’t tell me you are growing it to impress some mare.’

‘She is my boss...’

‘Oh no. No, no, no. When you get back to your time or whatever, you tell her that your mom won’t let you grow another beard for a few more years. Not until you are old enough.’

Stormy is confused. ‘Okay. How did you know I am from another time?’ A swear is heard in the darkness behind him. ‘Aren’t you the least bit curious how I got here?’

‘Strawberry, if you are here, now, like this, I know with even more certainty what I have known for a while now. Something I have known since long before I met your father. I am just glad to see my beautiful boy one last time before I leave you.’

Stormy cannot force back tears.

Raspberry sighs, ‘Strawberry. Sit with me for a moment.’

Stormy goes over and does what he is told.

‘Strawberry. I don’t know what he told you after I saw you last. I don’t know what he will tell you after I go. I don’t want to know so don’t bother opening your mouth. I have known what has been happening to me for a long time now. I really wanted to tell you not to worry and just be honest with you, but I was afraid you wouldn’t understand. Whatever miracle or spell or scientific advance that allows you to be here gives me that chance. I can see you become a fine young stallion. You are probably real upset that I had to leave you, especially with how he is, but know that all of our time together have been the best years of my life. And, when I pass, I will be happy because of seeing my most favorite pony in the whole world one last time.’

Stormy cannot fight it any longer. He breaks down crying where he sits. Raspberry motions him to her, and she holds him while they cry together.

‘Strawberry, I love you so much.’

‘I love you too, mommy.’

They continue hugging for several more moments.

‘You are the greatest son ever.’

‘I guess...’

‘It is true. Don’t let anypony tell you different.‘ Raspberry lets him go a second. ‘He did that to you.’ She eyes the cast on his horn and growls. ‘Don’t feel bad. A crack or two just makes magic more fun. Makes baking exciting.’ She points out some small, healed-over cracks on her horn.

‘Mom...’

‘What? You came all this way to worry about me. Why can’t I take ten seconds to worry about you?’

‘Mom...’

‘Uh... Stormy? We should get going.’

Stormy and Raspberry look to see Trixie standing in the room.

‘Is this the mare?’ Raspberry asks. ‘She is cu~ute.’ Trixie blushes. ‘Ditch the beard.’

‘Mom!’

‘She’s right.’

‘Trixie!’

Stormy growls. Trixie and Raspberry laugh at the young stallion.

‘Strawberry.’ Raspberry motions him in again. They hug again. ‘I love my little colt so much. You made me so happy.’

‘I love you too, mom. Forever. ... Happy holidays.’

‘Happy holidays, Strawberry.’ Raspberry looks up, past Trixie and right to the TARDIS. ‘Thank you for this special moment.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stormy is clutching the notebooks tight and crying. His grandmother and aunt are comforting him.

‘Best gift ever.’ He mumbles. ‘Thank you, Wanderer. Thank you mom.’

Octavia is experiencing what can only be described as pure bliss. She is getting a chance to catch up on her sleep before a very high-paying royal holiday concert. The night before, she and Vinyl had an early gift exchange where she got several very nice albums for her collection. Best of all, Vinyl has a booking out of Canterlot so she is several kilometers away and thus unable to bother Octavia for at least a day. Octavia smiles to herself as she rolls over in her Coltifornia King sized bed. Her muzzle slams right into something hard.

Octavia opens her eyes and growls at whatever potential prank Vinyl left for her to find. She instead finds an instrument case approximately the size of a cello. Further investigation proves that it does indeed contain a cello. There is a simple card in the case with the instrument.

‘Happy holidays, Octy. Hope you like your specially commissioned Stradivarius. It will authenticate if you have it checked. Peace, TWP.’

Octavia laughs and starts looking over her new instrument. Then she notices writing on the back of the card.

‘PS: What does such a small filly like you need with such a large bed?’

Octavia sighs and resolves to find The Wandering Physicist an expert and discreet proctologist to help her remove this fine instrument when she shares it with him.

Holidays with the Apple family are crazy disorganized and guaranteed to be messy. Something Applejack’s unicorn friends would have nightmares about for years to come. Still, the Apple family found a way to make it work with the minimum of injuries and calling the local fire department once in the last five years. This year is going like clockwork with all of the eager young foals like Apple Bloom doing all of the legwork while the older ponies handle the cooking and festivities. Applejack is currently helping one of her cousins slice apples for one of the countless apple dishes being made for the big dinner. Apple Bloom enters the kitchen with a small box on her head.

‘Applejack! Ah found another gift fer you!’

‘That’s all good, but Ah’m kinda busy right now.’

‘But Applejack, Ah found it in our room, and it wasn’ there earlier.’

‘Apple Bloom, are ya sure it wasn’t there befer and ya jus’ fergot t’ bring it out earlier?’

‘No! It jus’ appeared all magical like! Ah’d know if Ah saw it befer since it has such perdy purple wrappin’.’

Applejack is shocked. She misses an apple with her apple slicer and leaves a small dent on the cutting board. She quickly finds the nearest idle cousin.

‘Golden Delicious. Take over fer me fer a sec.’

Applejack and her sister step out of the room for a moment to find a quiet spot. Then Applejack takes a moment to examine the package more carefully.

‘What do ya think it is?’ Apple Bloom asks.

‘Ah don’ know. It could be anything.’

Applejack unwraps the package to reveal a box with a card taped to it: ‘For those long days in the field. I know it is not an Apple but trust me, this is better.’ Applejack lifts the card to reveal the words Galaxy Player. She shrugs and opens the box. Inside, she finds a device that looks like a mobile, but she can tell it is not.

‘What is it? Turn it on!’ Apple Bloom cheers excitedly.

‘Hold yer horses. Ah still figurin’ this thin’ out.’

‘What is t’ figure out? Jus’ turn it on.’

Apple Bloom presses a button on the side and the device springs to life. Applejack is a little surprised at the startup sequence. After startup is complete, a video starts playing. The back of a chair is seen. It turns to reveal The Wandering Physicist.

‘Oh brother.’

“Oh brother,” indeed, Mr Purple.

‘How’d ya do that? Are ya spyin’ on me?’

No, I am not spying on you. This is an automated message. I assume you have not used a device like this, as evidenced by your archaic mobile.

‘What is wrong with mah mobile?’

That is not important right now. Anyway, I made and installed this tutorial program to teach you how to use the various features of your new Galaxy Player. It is predominantly a music and video player, but it has so many other uses if you delve into it. I really hope you like it.

‘Cool! Ya finally got a music player!’ Apple Bloom cheers. ‘Too bad all o’ yer music is on cassette still...’

‘Hey! Those are classic mixes made by yours truly!’ Applejack looks at the music player. ‘Although, Ah have had mah eye on one o’ these...’

Very good, Mr Purple! I am glad you like this. I also included a memory card full of music you may enjoy. ... Don’t ask how I got it, Element of Honesty. Just know that it was all legal. Trust me. The Wandering Physicist grins and his eyes dart for a moment. Stop recording, Lucas.

The video stops, and the normal screen is shown. Applejack stares at the device, not knowing what to do next.

‘Come on, big sis! Ya have t’ show it t’ everypony!’

‘Yeah... Comin’.’

Applejack gets up and follows her sister out as Apple Bloom starts telling everypony she sees about Applejack’s new device.

Ness Grainsborough is getting ready to head out to his family’s holiday party. He is finding the red ball cap that looks best on him. His wife, Paula, enters their bedroom to check up on him.

‘We have to leave in a few minutes. Hurry up.’ Paula nags.

‘I’ll be ready. I’ll be ready.’

Paula moans and goes out to their living room. Her daughter is busy fussing over a flower arrangement.

‘Earth. Stop that. Go get your brother,’ Paula says as she levitates the flowers away from her kid.

‘But you need more baby’s-breath for balance! Balance!’

‘Earth! It is perfect. Get your brother.’

The younger pink unicorn frowns and gets up. She heads down the hall and goes right into a room. Neighponese pop music is playing.

‘Lucas, time to go... What are you doing!’

Lucas turns to his sister. His horn is glowing, and he has his back to the door. He looks very embarrassed.

Earth grimaces. ‘Geez! I knew you liked that group, but not that much!’

‘It is not what you think!’ Lucas quickly stands up. ‘I was just reading the book boss got me. He got them all to sign it since there are too many to sign the CD.’

‘Whatever, lover boy,’ Earth laughs. ‘Does this mean you are no longer interested in that pegasus you keep emailing me about?’

‘... Shut up, sis.’

Earth laughs again. ‘Just hurry up. Oh! And rip me a copy of the CD. I want to show off a prerelease album to my friends.’

Fluttershy is taking a break from the family tradition of singing songs all holiday to rest her voice a little. She is finally returning some of her gifts to her room, cherishing them because of who they are from. With her new Draconic phrasebook and fancy new Dovahkiin helmet, she is happily trotting to her room in Cloudsdale. She is humming one of the songs she found in the book. At her room, she sees a small note attached to the door.

‘To the Dovahkiin.’ Fluttershy giggles. ‘Do you know how hard it is to tape a note to a cloud? Answer: Not as hard as filling a room with flowers while distracted by your beautiful singing.’

Fluttershy pushes the door open to find her room filled with flowers, complete with a familiar yellow and pink mosaic. She calmly sets down her book, closes the door and trots in the other direction.

‘Fluttershy? Where are you going?’ is asked as she passes the family room. A white pegasus with a blonde mane looks out at Fluttershy.

‘Oh. I’m just going out for a moment. I’ll be right back. Please don’t go in my room.’

Fluttershy silently leaves and closes door behind her. She waves politely at the passing neighbors. After a few deep breaths, she lets out an excited squeal and shoots off into the air. She starts doing complex aerial tricks while laughing and cheering happily. All of the pegasi in the city stop and watch what they think is a yellow and pink application for the Wonderbolts. All of the pegasi except one.
…

Rainbow Dash is passed out in her home, something her parents are used to given her sleep habits. This time she is not asleep. She has fainted. In her hooves is an autographed photo. It is of herself, albeit a bit older version of herself, dressed as a Wonderbolt. The autographed reads: ‘To Rainbow Dash. Hang in there and keep training. Rainbow Dash. PS: Time travel is SO AWESOME!’ Rainbow Dash’s leg twitches as Fluttershy does a series of complex loops outside her window.

The Wandering Physicist, Trixie, Derpy and Dinky are sitting around his living room. Derpy is opening her gift. Trixie is on her third cup of coffee. The Wandering Physicist is busy playing with the very long scarf Fluttershy made for him. Sitting across the room from him, Dinky is playing with the other end of the scarf.

‘I can’t believe she made you something that long,’ Trixie comments. ‘Doesn’t she know how big an average pony is?’

‘I think it is cool. Four meters of fun!’

‘Aha!’ Derpy cheers as she holds up her gift. ‘Finally got through all of that.’

There is a large pile of wrapping paper around Derpy.

‘Don’t forget to clean up after you’re done,’ The Wandering Physicist teases.

‘You’re the one who had to hide simple DVDs so well.’

‘What did you get, mommy?’

‘Yet’s see.’ Derpy looks over the DVD box. ‘Inspector Spacetime. What is this?’

The Wandering Physicist smiles. ‘It is a fun little show from Trottingham. It is about a time-traveling detective and his partner and their crazy adventures fighting monsters from another planet.’

‘Why does that sound so familiar?’

‘Hello!’ The Doctor greets as he stumbles in. ‘Sorry I am late. I had some trouble parking. First I found some nutter parked in my spot already.’ Trixie glares. ‘Then I couldn’t get the right time thanks to some chronometric distortions in the area and... You were out all night delivering gifts to all of your fillyfriends, weren’t you? Love the scarf, by the way.’

‘Great of you to come, Theta.’ The Wandering Physicist laughs as he tosses a package to The Doctor.

‘What is this?’

‘Three times my age, and he doesn’t get it.’ The Wandering Physicist throws his forelegs up, tugging the scarf and pulling Dinky off her seat. ‘Seriously, D-Squared, why do you hang out with him?’

‘That was fun!’ Dinky cheers.

The Doctor examines the package. ‘Doesn’t seem to be volatile. A clue to disappearing homeless ponies in the area leading to a secret underground Cyber facility?’

The Wandering Physicist facehoofs.

‘You open it, genius,’ Trixie groans.

‘Right. You don’t have to be great and powerful to know that.’

The Doctor sits to open his gift just as a bolt of magic misses his head. He removes the wrapping and opens the box. He holds the contents up.

‘A fez and a bow tie. ... James, you shouldn’t have.’

‘It was no big deal.’

‘No, I really mean it.’

‘I think they look cool,’ Derpy comments.

‘That makes one of us,’ Trixie rolls her eyes. ‘Him wearing those would be like Wanderer wearing a beard.’

‘I like Chief in a beard.’ ‘HA!’ ‘Makes him look rugged.’

‘Ugh. I think we should agree to disagree.’

The Doctor is checking out his new clothing in the nearest reflective surface. ‘Was this all you called me for? Not that I am complaining. Fun little diversion.’

The Wandering Physicist and Derpy exchange looks. ‘Plan 3-α?’

‘Nah. Θ-10.’

‘What are you...’

Before The Doctor can react, Derpy has him in the air. The Wandering Physicist whips his scarf off and wraps The Doctor’s legs. Trixie uses her magic to snatch The Doctor’s sonic. Adding insult to injury, Dinky comes over and sticks a bow on the hogtied Time Lord’s head.

‘What is the meaning of this? Did The Master get to you?’

‘Sorry, Theta. This is for your own good.’

‘We’re taking you to a holiday party!’ Derpy smiles. ‘The Cakes are willing to host all of my friends who have stayed behind. There is going to be Carrot Top and Berry and Cheerilee and Rose and Junebug and...’

‘That is enough, D-Squared.’ The Wandering Physicist looks around. ‘Everypony ready? Nopony has to make before we go?’

‘You’ll never get me to talk! The TARDIS is safe! You’ll never get your hooves on her.’

The Wandering Physicist checks his mobile. ‘According to mine, yours is just three blocks away. Come on. You’ll have fun.’

‘You can’t do this to me! I have rig...’

Trixie puts the fez over The Doctor’s muzzle as she starts heading out. The Wandering Physicist and Derpy lift The Doctor up and carry him out while Dinky follows her mom.

Back after the party, The Wandering Physicist is gaming the rest of the holiday away while Trixie watches. She is on her seventh coffee.

‘Trixie.’

‘Yes?’

‘You were with me all night, and you saw me all day, right?’

‘Yeah? Why?’

‘Then how did that gift get on your bed?’

Trixie sits up with some surprise. She quickly runs to her room and returns with a small box.

‘Now, you’re just being cocky.’

‘I thought you weren’t interested in me that way.’

‘Funny.’ Trixie looks over the box. ‘Given what I have seen, this is going to be very touching to me or give you lots of laughs.’ The Wandering Physicist grins. ‘But it is guaranteed to outclass anything I could give you.’

Trixie opens the box and levitates out a set of keys. She looks from the keys to The Wandering Physicist and back a couple times.

‘Miss Sparkle is going to be very jealous of me.’

‘Funny. Check the note below the keys.’

‘It appears to be an address.’

‘That is your new apartment here in Ponyville. You have a place to stay whenever you’re in the area. Someplace where you can park your wagon.’

‘Is it furnished?’

‘I am not made of money.’

‘I have estimated that you spent at least three hundred bits on all of your gifts so far, so either the used game business is booming or you are dealing in goods other than what you advertise.’

‘Or we can check it out tomorrow and let you judge it for yourself. ... How long are you planning on staying, anyway?’

‘I should be on the road the day after tomorrow to make sure I have plenty of time to set up for my next show.’

‘Well, it has been... fun. Too bad you won’t see the others before you leave.’

‘Thank you.’ Trixie stares at The Wandering Physicist for a moment. ‘That face you had. That is why.’

‘My face? I thought you said...’

‘No. That miserable face you had. I said I saw it before.’

‘I remember. Where was that?’

‘In my mirror. A week ago. And everyday until the day I arrived at your shop. I just felt so lonely from being on the road for so long. I just wanted a friendly face who knows the pain of traveling on your own for long periods. I was so excited to see everypony again. But when I saw you...’

‘You were shocked by my miserable mood too.’

‘Right. I was happy to see a friend, but I could not bear seeing you like that. When you resisted my efforts to cheer you up, I just got really frustrated. I am glad to see you are feeling better now.’

‘You have been fun. You had boundary issues for a bit but once you started relaxing, I had a blast. And now you have a place to stay next time you’re in town. Some place to park your wagon.’

‘I still owe you a gift for at least letting me stay here.’

‘Nah. We’re good.’

‘The Great and Powerful Trixie pays all of her debts in full.’

Trixie creeps over to The Wandering Physicist. Before he can react, she uses her magic to pin him down. She leans in and whispers something into his ear.

‘And that would work?’

‘If she is anything like me, yes.’

‘So... follow the opposite of you advise then?’

‘Watch it there, smarty pants.’

Trixie lets The Wandering Physicist up, and they return to gaming the night away.

‘SURPRISE!’

The Mostly Asleep Physicist just stands in the doorway to his bedroom and stares at his friends. Stares as well as he can through closed eyes. He is in his bathrobe and scarf, which trails back to the bed. All the friends in attendance are in good spirits and smiling at their friend. There is a noticeable space around Pinkie since she is wearing a sprig of mistletoe over her head. Fluttershy smiles a extra bit at the sight of the scarf.

‘Can I have ONE day this week where I can sleep to a sensible hour? Like noon!’

Twilight steps forward. ‘Mr Wanderer, we just wanted to thank you for...’

‘Twilight, Imma let you finish, but...’

The Wandering Physicist stops mid-sentence while pointing a hoof at Twilight. Everypony just stares at him.

‘I think he fell asleep again,’ Rainbow Dash comments.

‘Wanderer!’ Twilight shouts.

‘Waffles!’ is shouted back. He shakes off the sleep and ‘looks’ at Twilight. ‘Wassup?’

Twilight facehoofs and shakes her head.
...

The Wandering Physicist is making the rounds catching up with his friends by sitting on his couch and drinking a combination of Mountain Dew and jasmine tea to aid in the awakening process. He is currently chatting with Lucas.

‘...so that is why I had to encode a temporal lock on the CD.’

‘Thanks. Now my sister thinks her little brother is a pervert and incompetent,’ Lucas sighs.

‘I can fire you if that helps.’

‘How will that hel... It would help her... Thanks, boss.’

‘I’ll call her tomorrow and explain it. ... At a sensible hour.’

‘I’ll warn her to expect a call in the afternoon sometime.’

Applejack steps up to the conversation.

‘Howdy, y’all. Did y’all have a good holiday?’

‘It was pretty good. Got to catch up with the family,’ Lucas answers. ‘Catch you around.’ He leaves to join the party.

‘That’s super.’ Applejack changes her focus. ‘And ya?’ A beep comes from under her hat. She takes her hat off and looks at her mobile device. ‘Did y‘all jus’ email me yer answer?’

‘A lot happened. That was the easiest way to tell everypony.’

Applejack studies her device. ‘So y’all had another Trixie encounter, eh? T’ bad she had t’ leave.’

‘She’ll be back.’

‘Ah can tell.’ She looks up from her device. ‘Ah like this here device, jus’ so ya know.’

The Wandering Physicist checks his mobile. ‘You needed to access the camera tutorial three times. Really?’

‘How’d ya know that! Ah mean, no, Ah didn’t’ Applejack purses her lips and her eyes dart.

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘It is okay. I am glad you like it.’

‘Thank ya kindly. Oh! Ah made a video fer ya. Now, how do Ah send it?’

‘Tutorial seven for attaching a file to an email or nine for bluetooth basics.’

Applejack just stares at the device. ‘How ‘bout if Ah just play it fer ya?’

She gives The Wandering Physicist the device, and he calls up the video.

“How do ya tell if this thin’s recordin’?” Applejack asks.

“Here. Let me do it.” Apple Bloom says as she takes the device.

Applejack sits in front of the camera. “Howdy, uh, James. Ah, uh, just wanted t’ make a video t’ thank ya for this, er, device and, uh, show ya Ah could use it proper like. Ah really appreciate it. Yer a good friend.” Applejack blushes a bit from nerves.

“Awww! Now say how much ya like him!”

“Apple Bloom turn it off now! Yer embarrassing me.”

“Did Ah get mah cinom-, cinea-, cinnamon, camera-usin’ cutie mark fer helpin’ ya!”

The video stops. The Wandering Physicist is trying not to laugh, but he is impressed. Applejack is embarrassed from the video.

‘Don’ say nothin’,’ She threatens. She gets out a hat like hers and shoves it on The Wandering Physicist’s head. ‘Here’ Got ya a Apple family hat as thanks. … Not that Ah think yer one o’ us or... Shoot. Ah think Ah hear Twi callin’ me.’

Applejack hurries off before she gets even more embarrassed.
…

Rarity and Stormy are chatting with The Wandering Physicist. He is enjoying a fresh cupcake.

‘This is so good!’ The Wandering Physicist moans. ‘Don’t tell Pinkie, but these are the best cupcakes in the world.’

Stormy laughs. ‘That is just what she said. Thank you.’

‘No prob.’

‘No. I really mean it. Thank you for everything.’

‘Anything for a friend.’

The Wandering Physicist and Stormy shake hooves. The Wandering Physicist smiles at Rarity.

‘Did you have a nice holiday? How was the mishpocha?’

Rarity growls. ‘You make me kvetch.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Day eight, right? Aren’t you not allowed to travel?’

Rarity opens her mouth to start shouting, but Stormy stops her.

‘Very well. I can be the better pony.’ Rarity levitates a box over. ‘I assume your measurements are still the same.’

‘I have a bit longer neck. Needed a bigger scarf just to cover it.’

Rarity growls again. ‘It is just something nice for you to wear around work. Bring your shop a little class.’

‘This is great. I’m getting verkle...’

Rarity shoves another cupcake in The Wandering Physicist’s mouth before storming off.
...

Pinkie breaks an extended kiss with The Wandering Physicist.

‘Yeah. Very subtle.’

‘What? This isn’t just for show.’

Applejack walks past with a cup of punch. She strays a little too close to Pinkie. Pinkie instantly spins around and traps Applejack in a lip lock, and the punch is spilled over the floor. When Applejack is finally released, she stares at Pinkie in shock for a moment before running off in embarrassment. Pinkie turns back to The Wandering Physicist and smiles.

‘You’re cleaning that up.’

Pinkie frowns. She turns to get a rag and gets a face full of Rei.

‘Me next!’ Rei grins.
...

‘James, I would like you to meet my friend Amy.’ Selene introduces a white unicorn standing with her. ‘She was heading this way, and I invited her to come with me.’

‘Hi! So nice to meet you.’ Amy greets.

The Wandering Physicist rubs his head. ‘Really? You went this route? How did I know the big reveal wouldn’t go the way I wanted?’

‘James. Not so loud,’ Selene hisses.

‘Oh. He is perfectly justified,’ Amy states. ‘Besides, he knows I won’t visit as often as his good friend Selene.’

‘I guess you are right.’ Selene smiles at The Wandering Physicist. ‘I really liked the broach. I... would have gone with a less sensitive subject matter, but I have to give it to myself for coming up with such an inspiring design.’

‘Don’t get that big of an ego. It is not that impressive.’ Amy rolls her eyes.

‘It represents all free ponies. Not some constant reminder of who is in charge.’

‘Then why don’t we change the crest to something we all can agree on? Something we all like. Like a banana. You like bananas, don’t you Selene?’

Selene stands by The Facehoofing Physicist. ‘I prefer oranges, right James?’

‘You know. I just thought you would enjoy your gift like a normal pony. Hold it up to the moonlight some night and catch the right angle in the crystal. That was the message I was trying to send.’

Both of the disguised princesses stare at The Wandering Cryptographer in surprise.

‘Are you saying you...’ Selene starts to ask.

‘Yes.’

‘Then do you know about...’ Amy tries asking.

‘And more.’

‘Oh.’ ‘My.’ The sisters say together.
...

‘I’m sorry the scarf is so long.’ Fluttershy apologizes.

‘Nah. I think it is cool.’

‘I just started making it and got distracted thinking about who it was for...’ Fluttershy blushes.

The Wandering Physicist smiles back. ‘It is a very happy mistake. I love it. Goes with the look I am going for.’

‘He he. I am glad you like it.’

‘And I can see you like your gift, Dovahshy.’

Fluttershy blushes again and adjusts her helmet. ‘I-I am just wearing it to show how much I appreciate it.’

‘Yet’s hear it. Your best battle cry.’

Fluttershy smiles. She rears back as she takes a deep breath. She plants herself and shouts. ‘Fus ro dah~~~~.’ The Wandering Physicist’s bangs barely flutter. ‘Too loud?’

The Wandering Physicist grabs Fluttershy in a hug. ‘That was the cutest thing ever! I think I am going to die of diabetes now.’

A carrot is shoved in his face. ‘Here!’ Pinkie offers. ‘That is what saved me.’

‘Uh... Thanks?’

‘Oh! Almost forgot!’

Pinkie catches Fluttershy in a passionate kiss. Once free, Fluttershy stares at Pinkie for a moment before flying straight through the nearest window to find a faraway place to hide.

‘Huh. I would have thought the Dovahkiin to be able to handle something like that.’ Pinkie muses.
…

Rainbow Dash puts a foreleg around The Wandering Physicist and escorts him to a quiet corner. Behind them, Lucas has returned from the hardware store with a new window.

‘All right, Jimmy. Tell me about the future.’

‘Well, “it is going to be the future soon. I won’t always be this way. When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away”.’

‘No, tell me about me in the future.’

‘Well, you will be older. That is for sure.’

‘No! Tell me about me as a Wonderbolt.’

‘Well, you are going to need to practice more, but given that you saved them a half dozen times by now...’

‘Tell me how I join.’

‘I think there is an application process... And a boot camp.’

‘No! Tell me about the photo from the future!’

‘Silly, Rainbow Dash. You can’t photograph the future. Photos are light-based, and light has a set speed limit.’

Rainbow Dash does the first shout of the day worthy of a Dovahkiin and storms away.

‘You’re going to drive her insane with that photo, aren’t you boss?’

‘What CD from the future?’
…

Twilight comes over to the new window The Wandering Physicist is sonicing to attain the properties he desires. She is levitating two drinks.

‘Here. I got you more soda,’ Twilight offers.

‘Five nights ago, Trixie tried seducing me using an illusion to look like you.’

‘WHAT!’ Twilight drops both drinks.

‘First, you’re cleaning that up. Second, I rejected her immediately since it was a petty illusion, and she was drunk. Third, I know you would have done a better job if it were real.’

Twilight blushes and averts her eyes as she magically scrubs the floor. She giggles a bit to herself. Suddenly, a glob of wax lands where she is cleaning. She looks up.

‘Oh. Uh, I thought you were buffing the floor since you finished wiping up the drinks.’

Twilight smiles. She covertly levitates Pinkie’s headgear to herself.

‘Mr Wanderer... You know what this means, right?’

‘Like I said. Much better.’

The Wandering Physicist leans in and kisses Twilight.

‘D’awwww!’

Both break the kiss and turn to see Rei flying next to them.

‘My turn!’

Rei forces herself on Twilight for the kiss. Twilight is shocked to say the least.

‘Ahem!’

Rei backs off. Twilight collapses to the ground in shock.

‘I found a letter in the TARDIS this morning. It was addressed to you, Rei.’

‘For me!’

‘I left it in your ro...’

Rei darts to her room to find the letter. She sees it on her bed. She closes and locks her door as covertly as possible before inspecting the letter. It is relatively nondescript. She carefully opens it and slides the message out. It is typed on a nondescript paper, but the texture feels like the stationary Queen Luna used back home.

‘Dear Full Moon. We hope this finds you at the appropriate time of year. Wherever you are, we hope you are happy and your holidays have been full of cheer. Love, your parents.’

Rei stares at the letter in disbelief. Suddenly, a drop of water falls on it, followed by another. Somepony is cry on on her letter! She does her best to wipe her tears away and holds the letter close. She puts the letter back in the envelope and places it on her dresser with her locket.

‘I’ll figure you out one day. I promise.’

Rei wipes the rest of her tears away, puts on a happy face and rejoins the party.

Author's Note

Story Event: I was originally not going to write a Christmas chapter. That is why the next ones are dated before this one. Once again, I dipped into my personal feelings to write TWP. I hate the loneliness that time of year generates, but I love giving gifts, often not expecting nothing in return... Often never getting anything in return... ever. Still, my interpretation of the spirit of the season is doing something nice for others in some fashion, whether they know you or not. I wish more felt the same way.

Also, since I didn't know how Christmas and Hearths Warming meshed at the time, the holiday was left unnamed. Who knew that Hearths Warming was really a national founding day instead of a Christmas-like holiday :P

Story timeline: First hint at Mane 6 families, most of whom will be met throughout the story. First hints that Celestia knows more than she will admit about TWP. First onscreen interactions between Stormy and Trixie

TWP timeline: His first Hearths Warming with friends and family, sorta. First time TWP hints at saying those three words. First kiss with Fluttershy. First hints AJ might like him.

Crazy Cruise Crazy

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, Luna/Selene, Rei, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Octavia, Inkie Pie, Trixie
Cameos: Lyra, Bon Bon, Vinyl, Colton, Wheaton, Frontatrot, Rip, Lucas, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Big Mac, TWP’s beard
Original Write Date: 11/20/2011

Twilight Sparkle is outside of The Power Block. She is pacing back and forth while rehearsing a speech. She seems oblivious to the stares she is getting.

‘ “Mr Wanderer, would you like to go...” No, too corny. “Hey! Who wants to...” Ugh. Just no. “You. Me. Cruise. Now.” ’ Twilight pauses and blushes. ‘I could never say that. “Mr Wanderer, please do me the honor of...” Are we getting married?’ She pauses again and bushes even more.

Suddenly, there is the sound of a mobile ringing. Twilight screams in shock then realizes it is hers. She levitates her mobile to her ear.

‘You know we have large windows in front of the store, right?’ comes from over the mobile.

Twilight looks and sees The Wandering Physicist waving her in. She hangs up her mobile and nervously enters the store. It is busy with post-holiday shoppers. Twilight goes up to the main counter. The Wandering Physicist lets her back and leaves the store to Lucas and Rei.

‘Wassup? You were out there for ten minutes looking nervous about something.’

‘Well...’ Twilight begins.

‘Am I dying?’ The Wandering Physicist blurts out with a gasp.

Twilight is shocked. ‘What? No.’

‘Sagan be praised. It would have been odd to hear that since I haven’t even been to a doctor.’

Twilight sighs. ‘Actually, I wanted to ask you something.’

‘Fine, but Lucas here has to be my best pony.’

Twilight blushes. ‘What?’

‘Stop joking around, boss,’ Lucas says to the couple.

‘I know. I know.’ The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘So, what were you saying?’

Twilight is kicking at the ground a little. ‘I didn’t even... I mean... Would you really...’

‘Twilight!’

‘What! Oh! Sorry.’ Twilight collects herself. ‘Would you want to go on Cruise Crazy with me?’

‘The JoColt thing?’ An idea strikes. ‘Can I grow my beard again?’ He beams.

‘Yes and no. Remember the way Rarity was acting?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Groggy Beard comes to tied to a bed that is not his own. He looks around, but he is restrained so he cannot move his head very well. He hears some deep breathing and a little panting. He tries to struggle, but unicorn magic causes his limbs to go limp. ‘Don’t move. It will all be over soon.’ is heard under his beard. Something starts moving from under his beard, but he cannot even scream for help.

Suddenly, a door opens, and a magenta unicorn looks in.

‘Miss Rarity, did you want five bolts of goldenrod and three of canary or the other way around?’ Stormy asks. ‘Oh. ‘Sup, Mr Wanderer?’

Rarity’s muzzle pops up from under The Terrified Beard. She is sweating a little. ‘I thought I said I didn’t want to be disturbed!’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘But won’t happen this time. It will just be the two of us.’ Twilight looks sheepish. ‘Right?’

‘Actually, Pinkie is coming too. I can only afford it if more ponies can come, and she was the first pony I asked,’ Twilight explains.

‘Oh. That is cool. I don’t mind paying for me and these bozos. More ponies, lower price, better room, right?’

‘Yes! I am going on a cruise!’ Rei shouts as she flies around the store. She stops over a scared customer. ‘Wait. What the heck is a cruise?’

‘One of us should stay and watch the shop,’ Lucas says. ‘We’re making good sales, plus I get seasick real easy. That is why I can’t go swimming.’

‘You get seasick while swimming?’ The Wandering Physicist is perplexed.

‘It is also why I only take showers.’

‘Yeah... You’re fired. Stay here and watch the shop, weirdo.’ The Wandering Physicist turns back to Twilight. ‘Okay. So just me and the kid. Who else?’

Twilight thinks. ‘Well, to get the best deal or at least good rooms, we will need at least two more. I was going to ask the rest of my friends.’

‘Coo. I’ll ask around here. See if anypony wants to come too.’

The Wandering Physicist and Twilight brohoof and head out to talk with their friends.

Rainbow Dash is napping on a tree in the park while Tank buzzes around the park randomly. Twilight approaches.

‘Hey Rainbow. Hey Tank.’ Twilight stops under the tree. ‘Rainbow, can we talk?’

Rainbow Dash springs up and looks around nervously. ‘I didn’t do it! I’ve been here all day. Just ask Tank.’

The tortoise flies past and grins.

‘See,’ Rainbow Dash says smugly.

‘I don’t know what you are talking about, and I think I don’t want to know,’ Twilight sighs.

Rainbow Dash sits back down. ‘Oh. Then whats up?’

‘I’m getting a group together to go on the JoColt Cruise Crazy. Want to join in too?’

Rainbow Dash thinks for a second. ‘Pass!’

‘What? Why?’

‘First of all, that music is all for nerds. Second, hello, pegasus. Why would I want to take a slow boat when I have these babies,’ -- shows off her wings -- ‘to jet me anywhere in seconds?’

‘Rainbow, it is not about how fast it take to get somewhere. It is about the trip.’

‘What is the fun if it is not fast? Pass!’

Twilight groans and marches away.

Rarity works in her shop. She is at her sewing machine working on an outfit. Twilight stands back watching.

‘So you say all of the entertainment is provided by those performers?’ Rarity asks.

‘Right! There will be music and comedy and stories and...’

‘Hmm. No thanks.’

Twilight moans. ‘Why not?’

‘Well, that music is quite... pedestrian and not befitting of a lady.’

‘Don’t feel bad. She said that about death metal too,’ a passing Stormy adds. ‘Now my stereo has a golf club impression in it.’

Rarity glares at Stormy. ‘Also, it is right before Hear...,’ -- Stormy gives her a glare -- ‘uh, Singles Appreciation Day. I usually have a big rush for, uh, specialty garments around then.’

‘I don’t see what the big deal is,’ Stormy complains. ‘We don’t normally wear clothes. How can some virtually invisible fabric really do anything to make a mare seem more attractive?’

‘Hmm...’ Rarity thinks. ‘Imagine a filly you like.’

Stormy closes his eyes. ‘Done.’

‘Now, imagine her in some lacy lingerie.’

Stormy’s horn glows for a second under his cast. ‘Ah. I get what you mean.’

‘Ugh. You two are disgusting.’ Twilight marches out of the shop. ‘And Stormy, shave that damn beard!’

‘Never!’ Rarity shouts back.

Applejack and her family are working in their barn. Twilight is standing aside watching them work.

‘Well shoot, Twi. Ah’d love t’ go, but we got a lot o’ work t’ do befer the next Winter Wrap Up.’

‘But that isn’t for a couple months. You can take some time off for some fun.’

‘Ah’d love t’, hon, Ah really would, but we have t’ not only make sure there are enough supplies t’ make it through the winter, but that we have enough fer plantin’ too. Not only that, but we have t’ watch the orchards too. Even with yer freaky organization skills, if there ain’t enough food there ain’t enough food.’

‘I guess you have a good point. Good luck keeping everything well stocked.’

‘Thank, Twi. Enjoy yer floating rock concert.’

‘Uh... Miss Twilight.’ Big Macintosh mutters. ‘Do y’all have room fer...’

‘Oh no ya don’!’ Applejack interrupts. ‘Y’all ain’t gettin’ out o’ work that easy.’

Twilight heads out of the barn while Applejack continues to lecture Big Macintosh.

‘Oh... a cruise.’ Fluttershy instinctively shrinks away from thought of large crowds in confined spaces and her poor flying not being able to help her escape.

‘It won’t be for too long. I promise,’ Twilight pleads.

Fluttershy starts kicking at her seat, a clear sign she is upset. Twilight sighs and gets up.

‘It is okay. You don’t have to come.’

‘Oh. It is not that. I just have...’

‘Fluttershy. You don’t have to make excuses. I know you are not good with crowds and strangers, and this would be an overload, even with your ability to fly away.’

Fluttershy looks down. ‘I am sorry. I shouldn’t be such a scaredy pony.’

‘It is fine,’ Twilight assures. ‘I just hope Mr Wanderer found others to come.’

‘Mr Wanderer is coming?’

‘Yeah. Him, Pinkie, and Rei so far.’

Fluttershy instantly grabs Twilight’s hooves. ‘I’m in!’

Back at The Power Block, Twilight is meeting with The Wandering Physicist to compare whom they have recruited. Rei is speedrunning a 100% run of Wind Waker on main display since she was told that cruises were exactly like that. In just the couple hours since she started, she has gotten the Master Sword and is on her way to fight Ganondiscord. Lucas is the only pony actually working.

‘Nopony? You got nopony?’ Twilight is shocked.

‘Not unless you want to share a boat with Droll, and I’d drop him under the prow before we left port. Everypony else was busy or had obligations. Derpy even pulled that “nor rain nor sleet” line on me,’ The Wandering Physicist complains.

‘Well, I only got Fluttershy, so I guess I didn’t do too much better.’

‘At least it is somepony.’ The Wandering Physicist checks his mobile. ‘Actually, I think we might have a recruit if you are willing to set my neck in a few minutes.’

Twilight raises an eyebrow. ‘Oh?’

At The Chaos Theater, Rip gallops back and forth making sure all of his music equipment is in working order. Off to one side, Vinyl Scratch is enjoying the show while Octavia is looking bored. Vinyl puts her mobile into her hoodie pocket.

‘Can’t we just go back to your place, Vinyl?’ Octavia moans. ‘At least there we can fight about how much your taste in music sucks.’

‘You know I have to help Rip get ready. We are going on that trip soon,’ Vinyl explains.

‘I thought that was why we were hanging out now? Because you were going to be leaving soon.’

‘We are hanging. This is hanging.’

‘Ugh. If this is your idea of hanging, I’d rather make out with the next pony to walk through the door.’

‘Octy! Vinyl! Rip! How’s it going!’ The Wandering Physicist cheers as he walks through the door with Twilight in tow.

Octavia shudders. Vinyl falls over laughing. Rip barely looks up to nod ‘hello’ before going back to his equipment.

‘I hope you brushed,’ Vinyl laughs. ‘Both of you.’

‘I hate you both so much,’ Octavia seethes.

‘What did I do this time?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

Octavia turns to him and stares into his eyes and glances at his lips. She does not act on what she said to Vinyl, not that she would or anything. She turns away and makes an angry squeal.

‘I guess it is a bad time to ask if you wanted to join us on the cruise.’

Octavia grimaces. ‘You’re going too? I hope the boat is attacked by a kraken and sinks. Seriously. Be rid of both of you.’

‘Vinyl, you’re going too?’ Twilight asks.

‘Yep! Rip and I are guests of MC Frontatrot.’ Vinyl beams.

‘I didn’t see your name on the performer list...’

‘DJ Pon3 and MC RC.’ The Wandering Physicist explains.

‘Ah!’

‘Anyway, Octy, we were wondering if you would like to join our group. My treat, of course.’

‘Stop calling me “Octy”. Only Vinyl can get away with that.’

‘Because she is your waifu.’

‘Right! ... No!’

Vinyl gasps for air as she laughs. Octavia shrieks and turns away again.

‘Mr Wanderer, I think this is a lost cause,’ Twilight says.

‘That is right,’ Octavia snorts. ‘As if sharing a cabin with you would have been bad enough, the only entertainment would be some of the lowest, basest music imaginable. And I don’t mean bass in a musical sense. I know what good bass sounds like, and that is not it.’

Octavia peeks one eye to see if The Wandering Physicist is still there. Instead, she is getting the full force of Vinyl’s uncovered eyes glaring into her soul.

‘What was that about my music?’ Vinyl growls.

‘I just...’ Octavia shrinks away from her friend.

‘You just what?’ Vinyl glares her friend to the ground.

‘I just... was saying... that I would love to be trapped on a boat kilometers from shore where the only music was your amazing beats. Right, James?’

‘I never get between couples fighting,’ The Entertained Physicist says as he offers some popcorn he seems to have found to Twilight.

‘You’re going to pay your own way too, right Tavi? Miss court musician?’

Octavia nods in terror.

‘Good.’ Vinyl replaces her sunglasses. ‘I can’t wait to see you at all of my shows.’

Octavia whines, looks back at The Grinning Physicist and The Ashamed Twilight then back at Vinyl and sighs.

After the bon voyage celebrations, The Wandering Physicist is in his element wandering the ship in search of the group’s cabins. The rest of the group is following the lone male as he leads them down rows of cabins and around the various amenities. Fluttershy is extra nervous with nowhere to easily hide from all of the new ponies.

‘Are we anywhere close to our cabins?’ Octavia gripes.

‘Oh. We passed them twice already,’ The Wandering Physicist states. ‘I just wanted to see some of the ship.’

Everypony else moans, even Fluttershy. A cello bow narrowly misses The Wandering Physicist’s head.

‘Oh look. We’re here,’ Another cello bow misses him.

The Wandering Physicist and Twilight open the doors. Everypony looks around the rooms. They are a little cramped since there are so many, but that is offset by having two rooms. Their luggage is placed randomly based on booking.

‘So...’ The Wandering Physicist starts.

‘Who is in which room?’ Twilight finishes.

‘Well, I should stay with Rei to keep her out of trouble.’ The Wandering Physicist volunteers.

‘That makes sense, but you should stay with one other since you paid for such a large room.’

‘So, who are you picking!’ Pinkie asks with a huge smile.

The Wandering Physicist looks at the four options in front of him. Pinkie has a wide grin. Twilight smiles kindly. Fluttershy gives a weak smile and tries to look impassive to the whole affair. Octavia expertly looks impassive, but she nervously makes eye contact before looking away again. This won’t end well.

‘Ooo! Pick Octy!’ Rei cheers. ‘She’ll be fun to bug.’

‘What does that mean?’ Octavia shoots back.

‘Well, at least you won’t fool around with Wander-san like those two will,’ Rei nods to Twilight and Pinkie.

The Wandering Physicist moans. Not helping, Rei...

Twilight and Pinkie blush and look away. Fluttershy shoots both a hurt look. The Wandering Physicist groans and closes his eyes to think for a moment. He looks at Pinkie and makes a complicated series of ear twitches and blinks.

The ever observant Twilight notices. ‘What was that?’

Pinkie returns another series of ear twitches and blinks.

‘Seriously. What are you doing?’

The Wandering Physicist shrugs. Pinkie nods. Twilight growls.

‘Fluttershy, want to bunk with us?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘Really?’ Fluttershy squeaks.

The Wandering Physicist nods. Fluttershy beams a big smile. She quickly gets her luggage and moves it to the new room. Octavia’s bags are unceremoniously dumped in the hall. Octavia seethes as she starts picking up her bags.

‘Let’s take to ten unpack and then start taking in what there is to take in.’ The Wandering Physicist suggests.

Before Twilight or Octavia can respond, Pinkie answers, ‘Sounds like a great plan! Let’s get unpacking, girls!’

Pinkie grabs a couple of Octavia’s bags and trots into her cabin. The Wandering Physicist gives Twilight a sheepish grin before going to his room. Twilight groans again and enters her cabin. Pinkie helps Octavia with her things.

‘Okay, Pinkie! What was that?’ Twilight demands.

‘Oh? That.’ Pinkie takes a deep breath and sighs. As she sighs, her hair goes limp, but retains its color. Twilight gets a little nervous. ‘Well, we worked out a system of signaling each other covertly and in code just in case we needed to talk while somepony was watching.’

‘Why would you ever need to do that?’ Octavia asks.

‘Wanderer James Hayate and I have a pact where if either of us are feeling down, we would do everything in our power to cheer each other up.’ Pinkie gets a small smile. ‘It is a private thing between us.’

‘Pinkie... I didn’t know...’ Twilight says. ‘You could have come to any of your friends at any time... Are you fine now? I mean, your hair.’

‘This? Yeah. I just felt like relaxing and not worrying about parties for this week.’

‘You sure?’

‘Positutely!’ Pinkie cheers.

There is a knock on the door. Twilight answers.

‘Hey,’ The Wandering Physicist greets. ‘We’re all set up in our cabin. Need some help?’

‘We’re good,’ Octavia answers. ‘Just having some girl talk.’

‘Ooo! I am good at that!’ Rei chimes in. ‘Uh... y’all catch the lasts Colts game? Ya know, football?’

The Wandering Physicist pats Rei’s head. ‘That will do Rei. ... And that is not real football.’

‘James! There you are!’ a familiar voice calls out.

Those in the hall turn. Twilight looks out to see Selene happily prancing up. Twilight scowls. Rei gets a big smile.

‘Sel-chan!’ Rei cheers as she shoots for her friend and grabs Selene in a hug.

‘Rei! Great to see you too.’ Selene returns the hug. She looks over everypony else. ‘Twilight, nice to see you.’ Twilight turns and heads into her cabin. ‘Fluttershy, it has been a while. Same to you, Pinkie. Love your mane.’

‘Oh. Nice to see y...’ Fluttershy starts.

‘Hi Selene! You should come by to party more! You are way overdue,’ Pinkie greets.

‘I have been busy lately. Only time for short visits.’

‘What are you doing here?’ The Wandering Physicist asks. ‘A week isn’t really a short visit.’

‘Oh, I had some time saved up and when I heard you were going on this trip, I pulled a few favors and got somepony to cover me so we could spend some time together.’

‘Do you have a cabin near ours?’

‘No, I was able to get a suite on one of the upper decks.’ Selene leans in close to The Wandering Physicist and not so quietly says, ‘Feel free to join me any time.’

Twilight magics the pair apart. ‘He will do no such thing!’

Selene looks into the cabin. ‘Well, he is definitely not sleeping with you. I can tell since it is a mess in here.’

Twilight glares. ‘We were in the middle of unpacking.’

‘You are supposed to put your belongings in the dressers, not the floor, darling.’

Twilight growls, and she and Selene lock in an intense stare.

‘Who is she?’ Octavia whispers Pinkie.

‘She is a friend of James Wanderer Hayate. She and Twilight don’t get along very well.’

‘Is she related to Rei? They have similar cutie marks.’

‘I thought so too, but I was there when Rei just poofed up.’

‘Just “poofed”?’

‘Yep! Just poof! Then splat!’

‘You are by far the oddest bunch of ponies I have ever met,’ Octavia comments.

‘We’re leaving to go look around,’ The Wandering Physicist says to try and break the stare. ‘Feel free to join us when you’re done.’

The Wandering Physicist trots away. Fluttershy follows. Rei looks between the combatants, sighs and heads away too.

‘Truce for the rest of the cruise?’ Twilight offers.

‘Deal, since I know I will be the one to uphold it,’ Selene laughs.

Twilight growls. Selene growls back. They slowly leave the room while keeping an eye on each other. Pinkie and Octavia are the last to leave.

‘James is right. It is fun watching other ponies fight for once,’ Octavia laughs.

The groups have split up to explore. Rei is off zooming around the ship, literally. Octavia ran into Vinyl and is getting shown around the stage and introduced to the performers. Twilight and Selene found something to compete in and are in an all-out competition. Only The Wandering Physicist, Pinkie, and Fluttershy are looking around still.

‘This ship is so big, but there are so many ponies. How can they live like this?’ Fluttershy says while trying to hide between her friends.

‘So many new ponies to meet! It is great!’ Pinkie adds.

‘Did anypony else just see The Doctor?’ The Wandering Physicist worries.

‘Why would he be here, silly?’

‘Whatever the reason, I’d be scared.’

‘Eep!’ Fluttershy ducks behind The Wandering Physicist.

Her friends look back then forward to where Fluttershy is looking. They see two familiar faces approaching, one earth pony, one unicorn.

‘Hey Bon Bon! Hey Lyra!’ Pinkie greets.

‘Fancy meeting you here,’ The Wandering Physicist says. ‘Hope you can keep your hands out of our business this time.’

Lyra grimaces at the comment.

‘Good to see you too, James.’ Bon Bon rolls her eyes. ‘Pinkie, always a pleasure. And, is that Fluttershy back there?’

Fluttershy just squeaks at Bon Bon.

‘She says “hi”,’ The Wandering Physicist interprets.

‘She knows I am not going to hurt her, right?’ Lyra asks.

Fluttershy gives a long squeak.

‘She says it would be best if you two still avoided each other,’ The Translating Physicist replies.

Lyra frowns and sighs.

‘It will still take time, dear,’ Bon Bon comforts.

‘Are you here for the party too?’ Pinkie asks.

‘She means the Cruise Crazy,’ The Interpreting Physicist corrects.

‘Oh. No. We’re just here to get away for a bit and have a romantic time together,’ Bon Bon says while rubbing against Lyra.

‘Does this Cruise Crazy invol... OW!’ Bon Bon kicks Lyra before she can finish.

‘Actually, the main performer has a number of songs about monkeys.’

‘Bon Bon! Can we...’

‘They are sold out,’ The Wandering Physicist interrupts.

‘Thank Celestia,’ Bon Bon sighs.

Lyra snorts at her wife. ‘Just for that, I am going to do what I came here to do.’

Bon Bon sighs and shakes her head. ‘Why can’t you have a normal hobby?’

‘What is she hunting this time?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘I’m going to discover sea ponies!’ Lyra cheers.

Everypony in earshot gives Lyra a worried look. The Wandering Physicist facehoofs. Even Fluttershy looks out from cover to give Lyra a concerned look. Bon Bon grabs Lyra by the ear and drags her away.

‘I thought I told you not to talk about that in public!’ Bon Bon growls through clenched teeth.

The couple head away to find a private place to argue.

‘They have the oddest foreplay,’ Pinkie comments.

The Wandering Physicist winces at the comment. Everypony else who heard the comment looks at Pinkie and shakes their head.

‘I am not going to get that image out of my head. Thank you, Pinkie,’ The Wandering Physicist moans.

‘You’re welcome!’

Fluttershy sighs. ‘I think I would like to find a quiet spot to rest for a bit.’

‘Too many ponies?’ Fluttershy nods. ‘It is okay. We have a week to cause trouble and have fun.’ The Wandering Physicist starts looking for a place for the group to sit.

‘I’m am going to get us some drinks! Want anything special?’ Pinkie offers.

The others shake their head and look for a table. They find an empty one and sit down. Soon, a figure approaches.

‘Excuse me, but that is my table,’ a demanding voice states.

‘Hate to burst your bubble, but we were here first.’ The Wandering Physicist turns while Fluttershy hides.

‘You!’ The Wandering Physicist and The Great and Powerful Trixie exclaim.

‘Great. If you are here, then Twilight is here too,’ Trixie moans. ‘Here to see my show?’ She adds hopefully.

‘We’re here for JoColt,’ The Wandering Physicist answers.

‘and Wheaton...’ Fluttershy squeaks.

‘Good. Then you will see me perform. Just make sure you keep your girlfriend from ruining my act this time.’

‘Why would I do that?’ Fluttershy squeaks to herself.

‘Why would I do that?’ Pinkie demands as she walks up with a plate of drinks on her head.

‘Oh ho!’ Trixie gloats. ‘The plot thickens.’ She looks over the drinks. ‘And where is mine?’

‘I didn’t get one for you since you are not with us and if you were, I wouldn’t since you are a meany pants!’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Trixie. These are my friends. You don’t want to spend another long night searching the woods for your idiot cousin just because you need to apologize more.’

Trixie sighs. ‘Trixie apologizes.’ She says with a bow to Pinkie. ‘I did not mean to intrude. In fact....’ She looks Pinkie over. ‘You have just the look I would like to incorporate into one of my illusions. Would you mind meeting me later to discuss it?’

‘I don’t know...’

‘Go for it, Pinkie,’ The Wandering Physicist encourages. ‘Trixie may have a bit of an attitude...’

‘A bit of an attitude! The Great and Powerful Trixie is shocked.’

‘Okay, a pretty big attitude...’ ‘HMPF’ ‘but she is a generally decent pony if you give her a chance.’

Pinkie thinks hard. ‘Hmm... I will on one condition...’ She cackles.

Trixie raises an eyebrow. ‘Trixie is intrigued...’

Twilight and Selene are locked in combat over a chess table. Luna, as Selene, has never met a foe this worthy in over a thousand years. Twilight has never met another pony that knows all of the obscure, thousand-year-old strategies she learned from her books. Both stare at the board intensely. Around them, a small group of ponies watch the intense game. Twilight finds her move, picks up the piece with her magic and starts slowly moving the piece when... KABOOM!

A number of small firework explosions go off behind the chess players. ‘I am... THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!’ is yelled right beside them. Twilight screams and her piece ends up flying off into the ocean. Selene panics and the rest of the board mysteriously ends up in lunar orbit. Both mares turn and glare at Trixie with the hatred of a million suns. Trixie laughs nervously and backs away. Beside Trixie, Pinkie is rolling on the ground laughing and hiccuping from either the laughter, the fireworks or both.

‘That was HIC! great! You should have HIC! seen your faces! HIC! You looked HIC! like you were ready HIC! to kill somepony! HIC!’

‘Miss Pinkie... They still look that way,’ Trixie warns.

‘Pinkie....’ Twilight growls in a manner that Pinkie would have recognized from Froggy Bottom Bog if she was not too busy laughing.

‘Miss Pie....’ Selene rages in a manner similar to the accidental intimidation she showed when she first met Pinkie, but this time with actual intent behind the imposing visage.

‘Yes? HIC!’

Twilight and Selene advance, ready to rage, but then stop and sigh. They shake their heads at their friend.

‘Pinkie, you shouldn’t have scared us,’ Twilight scolds.

‘It was very rude of you to interrupt our game as well,’ Selene adds.

‘Especially since I was about to win,’ both mares say at once. They instantly turn and glare at each other.

‘Lighten HIC! up!’ Pinkie hiccups. ‘We are minutes into HIC! our trip, and you HIC! are already fighting. HIC! Are you going to HIC! fight for the rest of the week? HIC!’

Both mares sigh again.

‘Truce? Again?’ Selene offers.

‘I’m mare enough to give peace a chance if you are,’ Twilight replies.

‘Enough to HIC! Pinkie Swear on it?’ Pinkie interjects.

Twilight and Selene’s eyes go wide at the prospect of one of the most binding contracts in the universe (the others being higher level Pinkie Swears). They glance at each other then turn their noses up.

‘I was just going to suggest that,’ Twilight covers.

‘I was going to do one even if you didn’t bring it up,’ Selene tries to top Twilight.

‘I was already saying it in my head,’ Twilight attempts to win.

‘No you weren’t,’ Pinkie calls Twilight out. She frowns at both of them. ‘It is not nice to lie about something like that. Now, are you going to make nice or...’

‘She is going to have to make cupcakes with you!’ Rei shouts as she flies past. Pinkie looks for the offending pegasus.

Twilight and Selene raise a hoof. ‘We promise not to fight for the rest of the trip.’ They start miming what they say. ‘Cross my heart. Hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye. OW!’ Both poke their eyes too hard.

‘Good!’ Pinkie cheers. She quickly scowls. ‘I’m watching you.’

‘FOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!’ Rei disappears out of sight around the ship. The white and blue streak returns. ‘EEEEEEEEEEEEEVER!’

Rei disappears on her flight again. Pinkie growls and heads off to find the pony who keeps stealing her lines. Trixie approaches Twilight and Selene.

‘I am sorry for scaring you.’ Trixie bows. ‘Miss Pinkie said that so-called prank was the only way to get her to help with my act.’

‘You were the one who performed at the royal children’s day for the orphans a while back, are you not?’ Selene asks.

‘Why yes. The Great and Powerful Trixie was honored to be a guest of the princesses.’

‘I thought you looked familiar.’

Trixie examines Selene. ‘Strange. I am usually good with faces, yet I do not recognize you from that event.’

‘Oh. Uh. I am pretty good at not being seen,’ Selene dodges. ‘I have a bit of a, uh, night cloak to help shield me.’ She grins unconvincingly.

Trixie stares into Selene a bit more then grins. ‘Okay. I believe you.’ She turns and trots away. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, Mr Wanderer and Miss Fluttershy are waiting for me.’

‘Is there anypony out there that isn’t chasing after him!’ Twilight shouts.

Twilight and Selene give chase. From the back of the dispersing crowd, a gray earth pony mare with a long gray hair watches and covertly follows.

Octavia boredly listens to Vinyl and Rip talking with a bald orange unicorn wearing thick-framed black glasses. Octavia looks for something to do and notices an acoustic guitar sitting off to one side. She picks it up and looks it over. She has never played a guitar, but a string instrument is a string instrument so she gives it a pluck. An ungodly sound is produced. Obviously, there is something wrong with the guitar. All of the other ponies are staring at her.

‘Sorry.’ Octavia sets down the guitar.

‘Sorry, Tavi,’ Vinyl apologizes. ‘We have been ignoring you.’

‘Yeah. We were just telling Frontatrot here how you’re an awesome cellist,’ Rip says.

‘If you’re free, maybe we can jam,’ Frontatrot adds. ‘Also, call me Damian. Frontatrot is my stage name, but Timmy here keeps forgetting.’

‘Dude!’ Rip hisses. ‘Not in public!’

‘Timmy? Really?’ Vinyl laughs.

‘You didn’t even tell Vinyl? Geez.’ Frontatrot moans. ‘Not even his real coat and mane color too. Did you know that?’

Octavia rolls her eyes at the gossip. Vinyl giggles at her friend. A bearded earth pony enters.

‘Damian, we’re going to start setting up soon,’ Colton advises. ‘Ready to work?’

‘Let’s do this, Jon.’

Colton, Frontatrot, and some of the other performers start getting to work on the stage. Vinyl shrugs and starts getting to work.

Octavia sighs, ‘Anything I can help with?’

‘Scratch’s friend, right?’ Colton asks. Octavia nods. ‘Yeah. See if you can find Trixie and that stallion friend she wanted me to meet of hers. She said she was going to be around the main deck or the lounge or somewhere with drinks.’

‘Stallion friend?’

‘Yeah. Met him once. Friend of Rip’s.’

‘Black on brown. Video game nut?’

‘You know him?’

Octavia grimaces. ‘He’s the reason I am on this damn trip.’

‘So... You can find him?’

‘Why is he so important?’

‘We could tell you...’ Colton starts.

‘...but that would ruin the show,’ Rip finishes as he carries an amp across the stage.

Octavia raises an eyebrow and heads out to look for The Wandering Physicist. She takes a look back and gets positive signals from the rest of the ponies.

At the first show of the cruise, a special tribute is being held. The Wandering Physicist is up on stage with Colton, Wheaton, Paul and Storm and the other bearded performers. The performers are bowing their heads. A screen next to the stage is displaying a card reading: ‘The Wandering Physicist’s beard ~ Nov 27 - Dec 7’. Paul and Storm are playing an elegy on their kazoos. At her seat, Twilight is facehoofing. Off to one side, Trixie is bowing with her hat over her chest.

The next card comes up. It has a picture of The Wandering Physicist with a bit of stubble and reads ‘Day 1’. ‘Day 2’ has him with a full goatee. ‘Day 4’ has him with a full beard. ‘Day 6’ has him with his massive beard and Rarity in the background with hearts over her head. ‘Day 8’ has him with his maximum beard but with Twilight freaking out in the background. ‘Day 10’ has him running towards the camera as a wild Rapidash appears. ‘Day 11’ has him running from Twilight as she levitates all sorts of scissors and razors around her. ‘Day 12’ has him clean-shaven and looking sad as Twilight sits proudly behind him. Rarity is holding the remains of the beard and crying. The last card reads: ‘Dec 7, a date that will live in infamy.’

The kazoo music stops and Colton puts an arm around The Wandering Physicist.

‘Stay strong,’ Colton advises.

The audience claps and stomps their hooves. Twilight opts to attempt to bash her skull in on her seat back. After the applause ends, The Wandering Physicist shakes hooves with all of the performers. The crowd cheers again when Trixie gives him a small kiss on the cheek. The Wandering Physicist waves to the audience one last time and retakes his seat between Twilight and Pinkie.

‘That was fun.’ He beams.

‘Sniff! Your poor beard!’ Pinkie cries.

‘I hate you so much right now,’ Twilight growls.

The Wandering Physicist laughs and settles in to watch the rest of the show.

The next morning, The Wandering Physicist and his cabin are sleeping in a bit. There is a knock on the door.

‘Ja~mes? Are you up?’ is asked through the door.

After getting no response, the door lock glows with a magical aura and the door opens. Selene steps into the room and closes the door behind her. She looks around the room. On one bed, The Wandering Physicist is sprawled out inelegantly. Selene smiles as he itches his belly. Unlike her guardian, Rei is not sprawled out on a bed. She has apparently fallen off her shared bed with Fluttershy and sleeps upside down on the floor. Fluttershy is comfortably curled up on their bed under all of their blankets. Selene quietly laughs at Rei as she sneaks past to The Wandering Physicist’s bed and climbs in. She smiles as she snuggles up to his chest. The room returns to silence as Selene settles in. A few minutes later, there is another knock on the door.

‘Mr Wanderer?’ The door is unlocked, and Twilight looks in as she levitates a spare card key under her wing. ‘We’re heading to breakfast. Do any of you want to come?’

‘Breakfast!’ Rei shoots out of the door and over Twilight upside down.

Twilight looks around the room. Fluttershy stretches out from under the blankets and tries looking around. She panics briefly thinking she is blind, but the blankets fall and she gives an embarrassed giggle. Fluttershy notices her friend glaring at something and looks to see The Wandering Physicist and Selene in bed together. Fluttershy gasps while Twilight growls and advances.

‘Mr Wanderer!’

‘Just five more minutes,’ The Wandering Physicist moans.

A magical force grips both of the sleeping ponies. Both wake with a start before Twilight can do anything to them.

‘Remember your promise!’ Pinkie shouts from the corridor.

‘Many apologies, Twilight,’ Selene says as she sits up. ‘I let myself in and just couldn’t help myself.’

Twilight growls. ‘I should report you for breaking into somepony else’s cabin.’

‘Don’t tell me you never wanted to just cuddle up against the most wonderful stallion ever,’ Selene teases. She sees a new face at the door. ‘Octavia there knows what I am talking about.’

Octavia blushes and looks away. ‘Leave me out of your weird fantasies.’

Twilight growls and readies a spell for blasting.

‘Cruise ship!’ The Wandering Physicist yells as he tries hiding.

‘Pinkie Swear!’ Pinkie shouts as she rushes to stop Twilight.

‘Eep!’ Fluttershy squeaks as she hides under a blanket again.

Twilight disappears in a flash. They hear the door in the next cabin slam, followed by a loud scream. Everypony groans.

The Wandering Physicist turns to Selene. ‘You’ll have to do a lot to fix this, Selena.’ Fluttershy catches the changed syllable.

‘What? Why me?’ Selene protests.

The Wandering Physicist shakes his head. ‘It is like your social skills were developed on the moon or something.’

Before Selene can thrash her friend, Pinkie interrupts. ‘You are the one who broke in and then made it sound like Twilight was the one being rude.’

‘You also intruded on me and Rei. Meanie,’ Fluttershy glares from under a blanket.

‘Oh Sagan! Where’s Rei!’ The Wandering Physicist panics.

A porter knocks and looks in. ‘Do one of you own a bear that looks like a white pegasus? One just ate all of the room service leftovers that were left out in the hall for cleanup just now.’

After a delayed breakfast thanks to having to get Rei’s stomach pumped (which did nothing to abate her hunger) The Wandering Physicist, Pinkie, and Fluttershy are lounging around planning their day. Behind them, Rei darts back and forth carrying something. The Wandering Physicist seems distracted by his kid and watching the other ponies.

‘So tabletop lounge until your lunch with Twilight then bum around until the show?’ Pinkie says looking over the itinerary.

‘I think I will just go back to the cabin until the show,’ Fluttershy adds.

‘You have to at least eat with us,’ Pinkie pleads.

‘I guess...’ Fluttershy concedes. ‘If we go as a group...’

‘Of course! Auntie Pinkie Pie will do anything for her Fluttershy. You in, Mr Wanderer Hayate James?’

‘Sounds good,’ The Wandering Physicist replies as he watches a pony pass. ‘I swear that he is here.’

‘Everything is fine. My Pinkie Sense would tell me if something bad was going to happen.’

‘That wouldn’t give us a large enough window if something was really brewing.’

‘Why don’t you ask a steward or somepony to check the manifest for you?’

‘Unreliable. He wouldn’t travel conventionally. We need somepony better than that.’ The Wandering Physicist grabs a passing pony at random. ‘Is The Doctor on the ship?’

Lyra nearly drops a box she is carrying. ‘The Doctor? Let me check.’ She is released. She gets out a notebook. ‘Doctor... Doctor... Nope. You’re the only alien on the ship.’

‘Hmm. Thanks. And you and Rei are not going to catch anything.’

‘They exist, damn it!’ Lyra argues. ‘Besides, this is my only time to hunt while Bon Bon is distracted.’

‘While who is distracted?’ a voice asks from behind Lyra.

Lyra freezes. ‘If I can’t see you, you can’t punish me.’

Bon Bon growls and drags Lyra away by the tail. Rei stops her random flying and hovers after her current mentor. The Wandering Physicist sighs. He looks back at his friends.

‘Break until we meet up again?’

The others nod. Fluttershy scurries back to her cabin, avoiding all of the strangers. The Wandering Physicist and Pinkie head off to the gaming area. The grey pony from the other day makes a note in a notebook then gives chase.

Octavia has found her way to the bar and is making herself well-acquainted with the bottom of her whiskey glass before she decides if she wants to do anything else for the day. Beside her, Vinyl has yet to begin partying. She is more worried about the night’s performance.

‘Come on, Tavi. It would really help us out.’

‘Hmm.... No. I have some important work to do around here.’ Octavia sets down her glass and looks for the bartender.

‘Jon would really appreciate it.’

‘Nope.’ Octavia contemplates reaching over the bar and serving herself.

Vinyl sighs. ‘I’ll owe you one.’

‘Ooo. I like the sound of that.’ The bartender arrives. ‘Jura, please! And leave the bottle.’

Vinyl groans at her friend. The bartender returns with the drink. He set it in front Octavia. Before Octavia can have her fun, Vinyl snatches the bottle.

‘I’ll owe you only if you qualify.’

‘But I need the liquid magic to make the music better,’ Octavia pleads reaching for the bottle.

Vinyl pays for the bottle and carries it away. Octavia gives chase, doing everything she can to get her drink, even walking on her hind legs. Vinyl leads them to the stage. There Colton, Wheaton and Frontatrot are waiting.

‘I got her! The search is over,’ Vinyl declares.

‘Are you sure she is the best choice?’ Wheaton asks as he watches Octavia flailing for the bottle that Vinyl is holding over her head.

‘She can play her own instrument and sing beautifully. She just needs the right motivation.’

Octavia parkours up Vinyl’s back and snatches her prize. She takes a very uncivilized swig, straightens her hair and misaligns her bowtie. ‘Let’s do this! Where’s my cello?’

‘Cello?’ Colton asks.

‘Cello. Double bass. Koto. If it has strings, I can play it.’

‘She does know we have to hear her sing, right?’ Frontatrot asks Vinyl.

‘Just give me an instrument!’ Octavia demands.

Colton brings over a guitar and offers to take the bottle from Octavia. He gets a mean glare in return.

‘Let’s do this!’ Octavia raises her bottle above her head and looks around. ‘Where’s my sheet music...’

The four other ponies all facehoof. Octavia shrugs and starts playing Greensleeves on the guitar. The doors to the stage open, and an unicorn is dragged in by an earth pony.

‘Sorry to intrude,’ Bon Bon says with Lyra’s tail still in her mouth. ‘I saw your announcement this morning, and I know we are not part of your event thingy, but I really think you should give my friend a chance.’

Octavia stops playing. ‘Hey Lyra. How’s the wife?’

‘I never met her before in my life!’ Lyra pleads.

‘It is totally cool that you want to help out, but you are intruding on a private affair,’ Wheaton explains.

‘Actually, she is pretty good too,’ Vinyl muses.

‘Can’t be any worse than whiskey before noon,’ Frontatrot shrugs.

Bon Bon gets Lyra an ukelele. ‘Remember to play and sing as good as you normally do, dear.’

Bon Bon gives Lyra a kiss and goes to the audience. Lyra tunes the instrument a bit then goes to the mic next to Octavia. She shakes her head at the offer of whiskey.

Lyra starts playing. ‘THis waS a TRIumph!’

Bon Bon instantly rushes the stage and drags Lyra to the back.

‘I thought she was good,’ Octavia says after a drink.

Vinyl drags Octavia to the back as well. Both Vinyl and Bon Bon are heard yelling at their significant others. A moment later, Octavia and Lyra are shoved out on stage.

‘And play good or I’m dumping you!’ Bon Bon and Vinyl shout.

♫
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.

Still alive
Still alive
♫

Lyra stops playing her lyre. Octavia puts down a violin and bows. The crowd clap and stomp for the song. In the back, Vinyl and Bon Bon watch the show. Vinyl passes a bottle to Bon Bon.

‘At least we got them to stop being a pain,’ Vinyl sighs.

Bon Bon finishes the drink. ‘Don’t tell her I saw a sea pony after lunch.’

Lyra and Octavia come backstage after their last bow. They set aside their instruments.

‘Where’s my booze?’ Octavia asks.

Vinyl takes a step back and prepares to call for security.

After the evening concerts, The Wandering Physicist and Twilight are trotting along the outer decks and watching the sky. The mare still seems frazzled from the morning.

‘I know I said this earlier, but it is still great that you came out of your cabin.’

‘If Fluttershy hadn’t come back, I probably would have still been in there.’

‘Selene didn’t make any headway in apologizing?’

‘I had an easier time negotiating with a dragon than getting her to admit she was wrong.’

Makes you wonder how well she does on diplomatic missions... The Wandering Physicist thinks.

‘I guess Fluttershy used her stare or said something to get her to behave.’

The Wandering Physicist stops and looks out over the ocean. Twilight stops next to him.

‘I traveled this way to get here from Neighpon after I came to this planet.’

‘You didn’t TARDIS over?’

‘I was trying to keep a low profile. After catching up with The Doctor when I arrived in Ponyville, I realized how smart that was. Kept me out of the war.’

‘That would have been a loss if you had been called back.’

‘I would have lost something good that I have now. That is for sure.’

Twilight blushes and looks over. ‘What would that be?’

The Wandering Physicist looks back with a large smile on his face. ‘The best friends ever. ... And Rei.’

‘Hey!’ gets shouted from above them.

‘You do know that prolonged use of your “Moon Armor” makes your magical aura resonate,’ Twilight says to nowhere in particular.

‘Also, incessant giggling is a dead giveaway,’ The Wandering Physicist directs at nopony.

A snort is heard from above and nothingness flies away. The couple sighs and returns to watching the ocean. Twilight leans into The Wandering Physicist. He leans back. The grey mare in a porter disguise makes a note in her notebook.

The next morning, Pinkie and Fluttershy head to breakfast together, chatting as they go. Behind them, the grey mare is following them as covertly as possible.

‘... and then I yelled “Q!” as loudly as I could! It really threw Paul and Storm off.’ Pinkie relates a tale from the last concert.

Fluttershy giggles. ‘So that is why Wheaton was laughing so much. I couldn’t see you from that far back.’

‘Oh. We had a great time together. You should really join us up front some...’

Pinkie stops as she senses something. She presses against a wall and looks back.

‘What is it?’ Fluttershy asks.

‘Did you just see a palette-swapped version of me following us just now?’ Pinkie replies as she scans the hall behind her.

‘No...’

‘Hmm....’ Pinkie watches the crowds passing. ‘Aha!’

Pinkie quickly spins around and faces a random pony. The new pony shouts and drops his leftover breakfast. A white blur quickly devours the food before it hits floor then disappears. Pinkie glares at the pony before letting him pass.

‘Did you see somepony you knew?’ Fluttershy asks nervously, trying to get a handle on the situation.

‘I thought I saw... No. She wouldn’t be here. How would she know?’ Pinkie thinks for a moment. ‘Never mind. I’m just being random again.’

‘But it looked like...’

‘I was just being random again. Wink. Wink.’

‘Oh!’ Fluttershy gets it. ‘You said “wink wink” out loud...’

‘No, I didn’t. She’s on to me.’

Fluttershy sighs. ‘That will do, Auntie Pinkie Pie. That will do.’

The pair continue on to breakfast. The grey mare climbs out of the nearby bin she was hiding in, sighs, and resumes her observations.

Twilight happily trots to lunch. Despite Selene’s intrusion the other morning and Rei’s interruption last night, she has had plenty of alone time with The Wandering Physicist and this lunch was going to be another one of those times. Or so she thought. As she gets to the restaurant, she finds her date already sitting with another mare. The Wandering Physicist notices Twilight’s arrival, and he and Trixie wave her over.

‘It is so good to see you,’ Trixie coos as Twilight takes a seat. ‘We didn’t get a chance to catch up that first day before the show so when I saw James just now, I had to come over.’

‘Great. I was so not looking forward to a private lunch,’ Twilight moans.

‘Twilight, be nice,’ The Wandering Physicist says. ‘Trixie just wants to catch up with you. We ran into each other over the holiday as you know, You have to hear her stories.’

Twilight scowls. ‘I head the only story I needed to hear.’

Trixie grimaces. ‘Not going to forget that...’

The Wandering Physicist frowns. ‘Twilight. Trixie made a mistake and wants some forgiveness.’

Twilight sighs. ‘I am the one being rude now. Sorry Trixie.’

‘The Great and Powerful Trixie accepts your apology and hopes you will accept hers. As I understand it, you went to Canterlot for your holiday. How did you find it?’

‘Turned left at Trottingham,’ Twilight quips.

Trixie rolls her eyes. ‘How droll. Oh! I just remembered that I got you some small gifts from my travels.’

‘You did?’ Twilight is surprised.

‘Well, James said it would be a nice thing to do, and who can say no to his face?’

Twilight looks over at The Wandering Physicist. He is currently leaning on one hoof looking over his glasses at something going on at another table.

Twilight groans. ‘It gets harder every day.’

‘Anyway, I left all of my things at my cart. I’ll have the shipped when we are back in Equestria.’

A waitress comes up. She is a grey mare with her mane tied in a bun.

‘Are you ready to order?’

After the night’s show, the performers are backstage swapping stories before heading back to their cabins. Suddenly, Fluttershy stumbles backstage. The performers look at her. She squeaks and freezes in place. She slowly starts moving forward as The Wandering Physicist pushes her with his head.

‘Wil, sorry to intrude, but this was the only way I was going to get her to come and see you.’ The Pushing Physicist says as he tries navigating Fluttershy around the room. ‘She is a huge fan, but she just needs a little motivation to tell you such.’

‘Uh... Mr Wanderer, aren’t you being a little forceful?’ Wheaton asks.

‘With Fluttershy, this is the minimum we need to do to get around her shyness.’

‘Okay...’ Wheaton turns to Fluttershy. ‘Is there something you want me to sign?’

Fluttershy looks down and nervously starts kicking at the ground. Wheaton looks at The Wandering Physicist.

The Wandering Physicist nudges Fluttershy. ‘Go on.’

Fluttershy looks up. She takes a deep breath. ‘I love you so much in all of your roles! You are totally handsome and cool and have been that way since you were a young colt. I really love you as Fawkes and sometimes wish I was Codex. I was a big supporter of Team Parrish. Do you have to be so mean to Sheldon? Also, I made you this cape with The Axis of Anarchy logo on it.’ She shoves a wrapped object forward.

The Wandering Physicist puts a book on top of the package. ‘Here is her copy of Just a Geek.’

Wheaton opens the package. ‘Whoa! This is an awesome cape. Thank you! I am totally wearing it to the next show!’

Fluttershy lets out a happy squeak and faints from pure joy.

The Wandering Physicist takes a picture of the fainted Fluttershy on his mobile. ‘First time for that.’ He turns to Wheaton. ‘Tell the others I’ll meet them after I take her back to our cabin.’

Wheaton and The Wandering Physicist brohoof before The Wandering Physicist starts dragging Fluttershy back to their cabin.

The next morning, The Wandering Physicist is passed out in bed. Despite everypony’s best efforts, even Rei’s daring stunt that ended with a throat punch, The Sleeping Log defiantly guards his pillows from all outside intruders.

‘Don’t worry. I’ll watch him.’ Fluttershy offers.

‘You sure?’ Twilight asks. ‘I don’t want you to miss out on anything fun.’

‘Yeah. He was up pretty late with us last night.’ Octavia adds. ‘Got us all back to our rooms safely too.’

Rei’s mouth moves, but no sounds come out. She puts her hoof to her throat and winces.

‘I really think she should see a doctor...’ Octavia worries.

‘She’ll be fine once she gets some waffles!’ Pinkie cheers.

‘Waffles!’ Rei rasps.

‘See!’

‘We’ll be fine.’ Fluttershy smiles at her friends.

‘Okay...’ Twilight worries. ‘I’ll check in later if you don’t come see us first.’

‘Okay. Go. Have fun.’

Fluttershy waves as her friends leave.

Fluttershy sits on her bed knitting something when The Sleeping Physicist groans and stretches. He looks around the room.

‘Whatcha making?’

Fluttershy flips the knitting on to her head. It is a orange and yellow cap with an orange pom-pom.

‘For Rainbow since she gets cold working winter weather.’

‘Pony walks down the street wearing that hat, ponies know she’s not afraid of anything.’

Fluttershy giggles. ‘The hero of Cloudsdale. The pegasus named “Rainbow”.’

The Wandering Physicist smiles. ‘Whatcha doing here? I heard tale Aeofel was hitting the tables this afternoon.’

Fluttershy starts nervously playing with her knitting needles. ‘It is still early enough. Besides, I wouldn’t want to bother him twice in one trip, and he has been so nice already...’

‘It has been half a week. Are you still scared to go out of the cabin without us around?’

Fluttershy looks down and starts picking at a spot on the bed.

‘Did you tell Twilight or Pinkie?’ Fluttershy shakes her head. The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Do you want me to talk with them?’

Fluttershy gasps. ‘Oh no! I don’t want to worry them.’ She smiles. ‘Besides, when was the last time we got some quiet time together?’

‘You know I always have time for my friends.’

‘No. I mean quiet time. Together.’

‘Ooo.’ The Wandering Physicist makes room and pats the bed next to him.

Fluttershy relocates herself. She leans against The Wandering Physicist and gives a content sigh as she returns to her knitting. The stallion gets out his mobile and starts checking in with the rest of the world.

Pinkie and Trixe are backstage after Trixie’s performance. They are watching as MC Frontatrot sets up for his performance. They both have drinks, and Trixie is fanning herself with her hat.

‘Thank you so much, Miss Pinkie. I am certain our performance went well.’

‘It was fun!’ Pinkie cheers. ‘How did you create that illusion of me in the audience so well?’

‘Oh. A magician has her secrets,’ Trixie grins.

Suddenly, the grey mare who has been following everypony around walks backstage.

‘Great show, Trixie. It was fun.’ She walks past Pinkie to get a drink. ‘Hey Pinkie.’

‘Hey Inkie.’

Both Pinkie and Inkie freeze. They turn and look at each other.

‘You do know each other! I thought so when I saw your last name.’

‘Inkie.... What are you doing here?’ Pinkie asks.

‘Uh... Hi Pinkie! Long time! How have you been?’

‘I have been fine. In fact, I recently saw my family over the holiday. What are you doing here, Inkie?’

‘Oh nothing. Nothing at all.’ Inkie tries hard to avoid eye contact with her sister.

‘If you are here, then that means....’ Pinkie gasps. ‘You wouldn’t!’

‘Can’t you assume I am here for reasons other than what you think?’ Inkie pleads.

Pinkie gives Inkie a stare. Inkie returns the stare. The stares go on for several moments. Then they lean in and narrow their eyes at each other.

‘Okie. Doki. Loki....’ Both say and back away.

After both mares have left, Trixie lowers her mobile. ‘This is definitely worth a few thousand hits.’

Luna watches the night sky from her suite. She has her perception filters off and just enjoys her night. There is a knock on her door. She quickly lifts her glasses perception filter on and answers.

‘Yes?’

The Wandering Physicist holds a small box forward. ‘Peace offering.’

Luna lets him in and closes the door. ‘Why James. You didn’t have to get me anything.’

‘Not from me. From Twilight.’ Luna starts looking the box over. ‘I was with her all day, so I have no idea what it is. Might be caesium for all I know.’

Luna opens the box and inside is her. She levitates a small Luna figure out of the box.

‘So cute!’ Luna squeals. ‘Makes what I got her seem petty.’

Luna nods at a book. The Wandering Physicist checks it out.

‘First edition Star Swirl. Her idol.’ Luna says. ‘I was going to give it to her first, but... Whoops.’

The Wandering Physicist nods. ‘Uh huh. She told me that she exchanged several letters with Princess Luna today asking her to be an intermediary between you two.’

‘This is hoofmade... When did she have time?’ She sets the figure down. ‘Please give Twilight my thanks. I know I will when I see her again.’

‘I’ll tell her before I head off, since she is about to one-up you again.’

‘You mean....’

‘Yep.’

Luna tackles The Wandering Physicist in a hug. ‘O MOST WONDERFUL OF NIGHTS!’

‘Indoor and outdoor voices, princess,’ The Choking Physicist croaks out.

‘Many apologies.’ Luna sets The Wandering Physicist down. ‘I am just so happy to get you all to myself for a while. Now, you get to the bed, and I’ll get the rope and candles.’ The Wandering Physicist glances to the open balcony. ‘Kidding!’ Sorta!

Octavia wakes to a sharp rapping sound. She looks around, but everything is tinted purple. She sits up and Vinyl’s sunglasses fall off her face.

‘Oh no. Not again,’ She moans.

‘What happened again?’ Pinkie asks from her bed.

‘N-nothing.’ Thankfully, the ocean makes disposing of a body easy.

‘Pinkie, don’t tease her. Vinyl and Mr Wanderer do that enough,’ Twilight says as she answers the cabin door. ‘Besides... ack!’

Selene lifts Twilight into a hug as soon as the door opens. She even gives Twilight a kiss which gets a giggle from Pinkie.

‘Thank you so much for the glorious gift,’ Selene coos. ‘You are no doubt the greatest Element of Friendship since Luna first wielded the Element.’

Twilight breaks free. ‘That is great that you liked the figure. It was just something simple since I didn’t have much time.’

‘It was the thought that counts and obviously you think a lot. Oh!’ Selene gets the book from under her wing. ‘Just some of my holiday readings I thought you might like.’

Twilight takes the book and reads the title. Her eyes go wide. ‘A wha ba ga ga!’

‘You broke Twilight’s mind!’ Pinkie cheers. ‘In a good way for once, too!’ She looks around. ‘Did Mr Wanderer go back to his room without saying “good morning”?’

‘What?’ Selene asks. ‘He was not with me. He left my suite many hours ago.’

‘He wasn’t with you!?’ Pinkie exclaims. Her eyes narrow. ‘Inkie.’ She turns to Octavia. ‘We’re going to need your crazy ninja assassin skills if we are to see him again.’

‘One, what crazy ninja assassin skills? Two, is it really so bad if we never see him again?’

The second question is enough to get Twilight out of her stupor, and all three mares glare at Octavia.

‘I mean... Let’s go save him?’

The Kidnaped Physicist wakes to find himself tied to a strange bed. He looks around for a clue to where he could be or at least to find his sonic. He hears somepony approaching.

‘Luna?’

‘Your princess cannot save you now, Mr Wanderer.’

Inkie comes into view with her long hair covering most of her face.

‘Sadako!’

Inkie parts her hair. ‘What? No! I am Inkie! Inkie Pie! Nice to meet you!’

‘Pie? As in...’

‘Yeppers! Pinkie is my big sister.’ Inkie pulls on one of the ropes and they all come undone. ‘You’re free to go now.’

The Wandering Physicist sits up. ‘What is going on?’

‘Oh. Pinkie spoke so highly of you over the holiday, the family just had to check you out to see if you really were as good as she said. I think the word “love” was mentioned no more than seven point three times,’ Inkie explains.

‘What?’

‘Since Pinkie holds you in such high regard, I was asked to investigate to see if you were of good enough stock for her.’

The Wandering Physicist is perplexed. ‘One, what the hell does that mean? B, am I good enough?’

Inkie shrugs. ‘I just had them send the samples back to the mainland for testing. I’ll be in touch.’

‘What? What samples?’

Inkie sighs. ‘For a three-hundred-year old pony, you aren’t that bright. You see when a stallion and a mare love each other very much...’

‘WHAT! No! I mean... Wait, did we...’

Inkie blushes.

‘You didn’t...’

‘No... I just with a...’ Inkie blushes even more and drops her head down. Her hair covers her face again. ‘I was only asked to do this since I am the scientist of the family...’

The Ashamed Physicist buries his head in his hooves. ‘You get to be the one to explain this to Twilight Sparkle if she asks. I am going to be the one attempting to escape to another time and planet.’

Inkie looks up. ‘But I was very gentle and I cleaned up the mess afterwards!’

‘I don’t want to hear it! No more talking!’

Suddenly, the door to the room flies open. Two very angry mares stand at the entryway seething with anger. Before today, the colors pink and lavender were not associated with negative emotions.

‘INKIE PIE!’ Twilight and Pinkie shout as they rush the younger mare.

The two furious mares start shouting at Inkie. Selene and Octavia enter to watch the show. Outside, Fluttershy peeks in. The Wandering Physicist climbs off the bed and joins the group at the door. Selene gives him a small hug.

‘So glad you are safe.’

‘Yeah. I am off science for a while now.’

‘What happened?’ Octavia asks.

The Wandering Physicist motions them in and whispers his interpretation.

Fluttershy blushes. ‘Oh. My.’

Selene laughs. ‘So Octavia wasn’t the only one that got lucky last night.’

‘Hey!’ Octavia snaps. ‘I have no idea why I have these.’ She adjusts Vinyl’s shades on her face. ‘I just need some magic memory water to help me remember and get rid of this headache.’

Selene raises an eyebrow. ‘You mean vodka?’

Octavia is instantly calm. ‘That would be great. Have any?’

‘...And if you ever pull something like this again, I won’t be held responsible for my actions!’ Twilight and Pinkie shout as they finish their yell/lecture.

Inkie nods. ‘Okay.’

Twilight and Pinkie snort at the younger mare. Twilight goes back to the group as Pinkie stays to lecture her sister more. Twilight puts a hoof on The Wandering Physicist’s shoulder.

‘I know she didn’t do anything too bad or... yeah, but still...’ She shakes her head. ‘I think I am off science for a while now.’

Pinkie escorts her sister over. ‘Say it.’

Inkie looks down and kicks the ground for a bit. She looks up and parts her hair. ‘I am very sorry for kidnaping you and...’

‘Don’t say it!’ Fluttershy cries.

Inkie blushes. ‘Anyway. I am sorry for causing all of this trouble.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Inkie... I can forgive you. It will just take time. Also, I am not going to touch anything you offer me for a while. You know why.’

Fluttershy faints from the shock. The others just grimace. There is a crash as Trixie falls over Fluttershy.

‘I heard something potentially scandalous was going to happen. Did I miss it?’

The others just moan and shake their heads as they leave the room. Twilight levitates Fluttershy with them.

‘Isn’t anypony going to offer to help me up?’

Inkie offers her hoof. Trixie starts reaching for it.

‘No don’t!’ everypony shouts.

The Wandering Physicist is relaxing in a jacuzzi, his reasoning being that the chlorine and bubbles will help him feel unclean faster. Colton, Storm and Rip are relaxing with their friend.

‘I know that is probably nothing compared to what your fans do, but it was still a very shocking experience.’

‘We’ve all been there, bro,’ Rip comforts.

‘I once had a fan show up at my hotel dressed in cake.’ Colton says. ‘I had to convince him he was a lie to get out of having to sample it.’

‘I cannot even begin to list the things thrown for Opening Band,’ Storm adds.

‘I, uh, once had, um... Damn you guys for being famous,’ Rip curses.

‘Cheer up, Timmy.’ ‘Yeah, Tim.’ ‘Hang in there, Tim.’

‘I am never going to live down my real name, am I?’

The Wandering Physicist turns to the others. ‘I wonder what his real colors are.’

‘I am guessing sky blue on periwinkle,’ Storm says.

‘Maybe that is not really his real cutie mark.’ Colton postulates.

‘Let’s see if we can turn up the heat and boil the truth free.’

‘I’m out of here.’ Rip gets up to leave.

‘Tim! Wait!’ Rip turns back. ‘Once you accept your true self you can...’

Rip yells and storms away from the laughing stallions. Frontatrot steps into the tub.

‘What is he on about?’

‘Nothing,’ Colton says. ‘Mr Wanderer here just had an epic fangirl encounter to share with you.’

‘It was awesome sauce,’ Storm adds. ‘Literally.’

‘Sounds fun,’ Frontatrot replies. ‘I’m all ears.’

Selene treats the girls to a massage to help them unwind after the morning.

‘I don’t see what the big deal is,’ Trixie states. ‘Trixie has gotten far stranger receptions from various admirers. Not all of them from stallions either.’

‘But it was kidnaping and assault,’ Twilight protests. ‘It was one step short of Misery!’

‘Please. That ended in heartache and pain. He at least got some pleasure from the ordeal,’ Trixie protests.

There is a squeal and a thump as Fluttershy faints off her table.

‘For a pony versed in animal care, she can’t stand the basics too well,’ Selene comments.

‘Actually, when father asked me...’ Inkie starts.

‘Inkie. No. Just no,’ Pinkie interrupts.

‘Sorry.’

There is a mutual silence among the group for a moment.

‘You know they say opposites attract, but it seems the nerd god attracts mostly similar types,’ Trixie comments.

‘Actually, according to studies...’ Inkie starts.

‘Inkie. What did we tell you about talking?’ Pinkie asks.

‘You said not...’

‘There you go again, Inkie.’ Pinkie sighs. ‘Kids these days.’

‘Try copying Fluttershy and practice for the next “Shh” competition,’ Twilight suggests. ‘She’s the world champ, you know. I was there.’

Inkie just moans and shuts up.

♫
Well it's gonna be the future soon
And I won't always be this way
When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away
It's gonna be the future soon
I've never seen it quite so clear
And when my heart is breaking I can close my eyes and it's already here
♫

Colton finishes the song to much applause. In the front row, The Wandering Physicist is still in a bit of a haze of joy from hearing his favorite song. On either side of him, Twilight and Selene sigh contently as they rest their heads on The Wandering Physicist’s shoulders.

‘I hate to do this,’ Colton says, ‘but it is time for the last song of this trip.’

‘Play Freebird!’ is shouted from the audience between the moans of complaint.

‘See, you say that to be ironic,’ Colton starts, ‘but you are not being ironic. You being a bit of a dick. And by me pointing that out, I am a bit of dick too. Thus, you making me be a dick is a dick move too. It is this whole vicious cycle of... Let’s just leave that there.’ He tunes his guitar a bit. ‘Now, the last song is...’

‘ARRR!’ the audience shouts.

‘No, not that one.’ He laughs. ‘No, the last song is basically a song about how I feel right now.’
♫
I get up early when the sleeping pill wakes me
I take a wake up pill and fill with energy
...
♫

The cruise is over. The ship has returned to port. Everypony is heading back to their homes. All the travelers from Ponyville are returning together in the same train car. Pinkie has even eased up on her sister, and she is traveling with them so Pinkie can show her around town. Most of the ponies are resting and swapping tales from their individual adventures. Octavia is passed out on bench and is resting her head by Vinyl’s side.

‘Somepony turn off the sun and make the headache go away!’ Octavia moans.

‘I second turning off the sun,’ a voice cheers from where The Wandering Physicist and Twilight are sitting. It is followed by a loud ‘Ow!’

‘Shut up! You’re making the headache worse,’ Octavia yells.

‘Want him to kiss it to make it better?’ Vinyl offers.

‘Yes, please. … … Wait! No! Shut up!’

Vinyl laughs and pats her friend’s head. Lyra plucks some strings on her lyre.

‘I had fun with the band...’ Lyra says.

‘That is good,’ Bon Bon smiles.

‘...but I didn’t see a single sea pony...’

‘You didn’t see a sea pony? Not one? REALLY!’ Bon Bon shouts. She quickly realizes that she is drawing stares. ‘We’ll talk about it when we get home.’

‘Want me to cover myself in squid guts for you, dear?’ Lyra asks with a giggle.

At their seat, Pinkie is telling Inkie all about the party she will throw. Pinkie’s hair has returned to its puffy state.

‘It will be great! We’ll have a “Welcome Home Party” and a “Welcome Inkie Party”! I am sure all of my friends would love to meet you. Well, all of my friends who you haven’t met yet anyway. We’ll just pretend you didn’t do anything untoward, okay?’

Inkie is not paying attention to Pinkie and is busy chatting with somepony more her age.

‘I fought a kraken!’ Rei brags. ‘It was all “Roar!” and I was like “Nope! Not in my backyard!” So I blasted it with lightning from my super spin!’

Inkie thinks. ‘A lot of that tale is suspect. First, while it is not unheard of for an Architeuthis to be seen in these waters, I doubt one would have come out of the water as you claim. Not to mention that the size and vocalizations are inconsistent with known species. The lightning part is the only believable part of your story, as pegasi are known to create weather effects with their flying.’

‘Awww.....’ Rei looks sad. ‘Wanderer-san, she doesn’t believe me.’

The Wandering Physicist looks from Rei to Inkie then to Pinkie. ‘Trade you teenagers.’

‘Wanderer-san~~~!’ Rei cries.

The Wandering Physicist laughs and turns back to where he and Twilight are resting. She is curled up with her book and looks half asleep.

‘Yep, another scientist for the family...’

The Wandering Physicist sighs and leans back in his seat. He looks across the way to see Fluttershy at her knitting again. She looks up, flips the hat to her head and playfully sticks her tongue out at him. Both laugh and go back to resting as the train speeds home.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: First time he hints/jokes about wanting something more with a certain princess. First mention of TWP's pact with Pinkie.

Story Timeline: Rei meets Inkie. First bonding experience between Rei and Fluttershy.

Warriors of the Derp

Main Characters: The Doctor (10), Derpy, Bon Bon
Cameos: Lyra, Rei, TWP
Original Write Date: 12/20/2011

Bon Bon is on cruise for a well-deserved vacation. Or she should be. After her wife Lyra revealed her ulterior motive of hunting mythical creatures, Bon Bon was forced to take matters into her own hooves. With Lyra in the care of the ship’s entertainment providers, Bon Bon is looking for one of the recreation facilities for some relaxation. Unfortunately, she is looking in what seems to be a cargo hold.

‘Great. I am lost, and I have no clue how to even get help,’ Bon Bon mumbles to herself.

Bon Bon stops beside a large covered object to look around. She hears what sounds like really horrible singing coming from it. She pulls back the cover to reveal a giant aquarium. It appears to be empty, but Bon Bon takes a closer look. A dark creature passes before her.

‘Shoo be doo, shoo shoo be doo.’

Bon Bon screams and falls backward.

A large blue police box, The Doctor’s TARDIS, materializes in the hold of the cruise ship. The door opens, and The Doctor backs out while talking.

‘Now Derpy, the cliffs here on Arankis Prime are very dangerous, even for you.’ The Doctor explains. ‘You have to be very careful not to fall or you are done for.’

The Doctor immediately trips over Bon Bon. Derpy flies out of the TARDIS.

‘You okay, Doctor?’ Derpy asks. ‘What happened?’

‘I fell,’ The Doctor grumbles.

Derpy helps The Doctor up. ‘I thought you said we were going to some mountain planet, not the local aquarium.’

The Doctor looks around. ‘Doesn’t look like much of an aquarium besides the one tank. I wonder what it is for.’

He starts peering into the tank to ascertain its function. Derpy drops to the ground and examines Bon Bon.

‘Hey! It is Bon Bon.’ Derpy smiles up at The Doctor. ‘It is Bon Bon, Doctor.’

‘Yes, that is all very good.’

‘That means we are on the cruise she is on.’

The Doctor turns back. ‘Did you say cruise?’

‘Yeah. She and her wife were going on the same cruise as Chief and his friends, only they weren’t going for the extra fun stuff.’ She thinks for a moment. ‘Do you think you can get us into the JoColt show?’

‘I hate cruises. Things always go wrong on a cruise. That should be the motto of every cruise: things always go wrong on a cruise.’

Bon Bon moans and sits up. ‘What happened? Who is there?’

‘Hi!’ Derpy greets. ‘Looks like you fainted for a moment.’

‘Derpy? When did you get here? What are you doing here?’

‘The Doctor and I were out traveling, and we found you! Are you okay? Why did you faint?’

‘I am fine, I guess. I saw a weird creature in that tank, and I screamed, and then...’

‘Well, there is nothing in the tank now.’ The Doctor taps on the glass. ‘It seems to be empty.’

‘What? No! There was... You’re going to laugh at me.’

Derpy turns to her friend. ‘Never! We will believe you.’

A shadow passes in the tank while all of the attention is on Bon Bon.

‘No. It is stupid. Something real foalish.’

‘Stupid and foalish are my middle name,’ The Doctor replies. ‘The “Stupid and Foalish” Do... Stop giggling before you even start.’

The shadow starts getting closer.

‘I...’ Bon Bon shakes her head. She laughs. ‘Lyra will love this. I saw a sea pony.’

Derpy takes a step back. The Doctor looks surprised. The shadow stops just shy of becoming visible.

‘Sea ponies, Doctor...’

‘I heard her.’ The Doctor starts thinking. ‘Are you sure it was a sea pony? It wasn’t just some really ugly fish?’

‘Doctor!’

‘What! I am just checking.’

A tentacle starts creeping over the side of the tank.

‘Sea ponies have feelings too. You just insulted somepony you don’t even know.’

Bon Bon stares in disbelief. ‘You two are talking like sea ponies are real.’

‘Oh right! General public.’ The Doctor gives a misleading grin to Bon Bon. ‘No worries. No such thing as sea ponies. Just really ugly fish.’

‘Doctor!’

‘You were fine when I used that cover last time.’

‘No! Doctor!’ Derpy points at the advancing tentacle.

‘That is definitely not a sea pony or a fish.’

The tentacle wraps around The Doctor and starts lifting him up. Derpy flies to the top of the tank and starts kicking at the tentacle. Bon Bon turns to run, but her path is blocked by a blue box. The Doctor struggles to break free before settling on biting the tentacle. The tentacles drops him and whips upward. It knocks Derpy into the ceiling causing her to activate the fire suppression system in the area.

‘Time to get moving!’

The Doctor pulls Bon Bon with him as he starts running. Derpy flies down to join them.

‘Why are we running?’ Bon Bon asks.

‘The fire system will set off a warning to the crew. I doubt you want to answer questions about an uncovered tank housing a sea monster.’

‘Well, no, but..’

The Doctor stops. ‘Good. Then just go back to enjoying your trip. We’ll take care of everything.’

The stallion pushes open a door leading to stairs. Bon Bon looks back and forth between The Doctor and Derpy as she tries getting her thoughts in order.

‘Trust him!’ Derpy cheers. ‘He’s The Doctor.’

The Doctor has found a good vantage point at the top deck of the ship. He is watching the passengers going about their business. He is lost in thought when Derpy returns.

‘I got the lay of the ship. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary.’

‘You should really be more careful,’ The Doctor warns. ‘James may not seem it, but he is very observant. As are Miss Sparkle, Miss Pie, and...’

‘Hi!’ Rei chirps as she flies up.

‘Her.’

‘Hi, Rei,’ Derpy greets.

‘Whatcha doing?’ Rei asks.

‘Actually, we are trying to avoid you and your father if at all possible.’

‘Why does everypony think he is my father! I have wings!’

‘Shh!’ The Doctor hisses. ‘Keep it down. I am sorry. Would you mind keeping our presence a secret from James for us?’

Rei crosses her forelegs. ‘Hmpf! What is in it for me?’

‘Well, you know how James has all of those secrets he keeps from everypony else? This will be one we can keep from him.’

Rei eyes go wide with excitement. She lets out a giddy squeal. ‘Deal!’

‘Good. Now just be quiet about it, and we’ll be in touch if we need help.’

‘I have a secret!’ Rei squeals as she flies away and around the ship.

The Doctor sighs. ‘No matter which universe you are in, she is his daughter for sure.’

‘She is?’ Derpy asks.

‘Never mind.’ The Doctor looks over the deck again. ‘Who is that grey pony following James around? Could she be trouble?’

Derpy looks over the rail too. ‘Her? She is Inkie Pie. Pinkie’s youngest sister.’

‘Great. Another Pie. That only makes it that much more difficult to remain hidden.’

‘So what is the plan?’

‘I am going to try finding a cargo and passenger manifest. Maybe find out what is claimed to be in the tank and who to ask about it.’

‘And me?’

‘Just keep a low profile and find out what you can. We’ll meet back here in a few hours.’

‘And if one of us gets in trouble?’

‘Derpy, how likely is that to happen?’ The Doctor smiles before he disappears into the crowds.

Lyra tunes her lyre after the previous night’s performance. The show has distracted her from her true mission for this cruise, but she has some free time to begin her hunt again.

‘Excuse me! Miss Heartstrings!’

Lyra looks to see a light grey earth pony trotting up. She is dressed in a plain brown suit that covers her body so her cutie mark is unseen, but she has big sunglasses and long blonde bangs covering her eyes. She smiles a somewhat crazy smile when she gets to Lyra.

‘Uh... may I help you?’

‘I am a big follower of yours. Your work on exposing the human conspiracy to take over the government is brilliant.’

‘Right. Thank you. The trick is knowing that it may not be humans... but it is definitely humans.’

‘Indeed.’

Lyra examines the odd mare. ‘And you are?’

‘I am Dotty Nutter, a fellow expert in the unexplained and an astronaut scientist like yourself.’

Lyra thinks. ‘Huh. I thought I was the only one.’

‘There are more of us, but we have to keep it secret or else they will get us.’

Lyra growls. ‘They are always causing trouble. I hear they are the ones who killed Kenny.’

‘Those bastards!’ The pony punches one hoof into the other. ‘Listen, I have something really important to ask you. Otherwise, I would not have risked bringing two of our greatest minds together.’

‘Anything to help the spread of truth.’

‘I need you to tell me everything you know about sea ponies.’

The Doctor is in a computer room pounding at a keyboard. A nearby printer is printing out pages of information. The door to the room starts opening. The Doctor picks up the stack of documents with his mouth and shoves it into his overcoat right as a confused-looking midshipman steps in.

‘What’s going on in here?’

The Doctor comes out of his overcoat with his psychic paper at the ready. ‘Inspector John Smith of the Equestrian Fruit Inspectors Bureau. It is about time somepony showed up.’

‘Fruit inspector? What is going on here?’

‘This is a surprise, random inspection.’ The midshipman tries to react. ‘Did you know that you are required to leave port with large stocks of bananas and oranges just in case one of the princesses were on board?’

‘I did not know that.’

‘Well, it is true and definitely not a lie. See, the princesses have certain dietary preferences and by not stocking those items, you are risking massive fines or jail time if they were to find out.’

‘But the princesses are not on the ship, sir.’

The Doctor grabs the midshipman. ‘Think man! Would the princesses really travel in such a conspicuous manner if they were to go on holiday?’ The sailor tries to respond. ‘Of course they wouldn’t! You’re a bright pony. Much brighter than me.’

‘Um, why thank you, sir.’

‘Now, I want you to check your records and make sure you have plenty of bananas and oranges or else...’

The midshipman is scared. ‘Or else what?’

‘Well, I believe Princess Luna can answer that better than I.’

The midshipman’s eyes go wide. ‘I’ll get right on making sure we are fully stocked, sir!’

‘Brilliant! Good man!’ The Doctor exits out of the room and turns left. He trots back seconds later. ‘I’ll be checking on you.’ The Doctor looks around and continues his exit, heading right this time.

Bon Bon is at lunch and waiting for Lyra to arrive. The past twenty-four hours have been pretty stressful. First, Lyra embarrassed her in public again, then embarrassed her with the cruise performers and their friends Octavia and Vinyl. Then there was that whole business with Derpy and that sea pony. Not to mention dealing with Octavia’s rage when her booze ran out. And just a few minutes ago, she had a run-in with James and that annoying showmare he brought to the holiday dinner with the Cakes last month. Now, Bon Bon just needs a nice calming lunch with her wife to relax a bit. Please let Lyra be normal for once!

Lyra steps into the restaurant. She smiles brightly when she sees her wife and trots over. The couple kiss before Lyra takes her seat. Lyra (un)naturally sits in her (un)usual manner.

‘You’ll never believe the day I’ve been having,’ Bon Bon sighs.

‘Me too! I have some great news.’

‘Oh? What is it?’

Lyra leans back and puts a foreleg over the back of the chair. ‘A fellow hunter is going to help me capture a sea pony.’

Bon Bon falls forward until her head slams into the table. She lets out a loud moan, not caring about all of the stares she is getting.

‘Are you okay, Bon Bon?’

‘Yeah. It is just... nothing. Forget it.’ I hate sea ponies so much.

Lyra frowns. ‘I know that you don’t like my hobbies, but I thought you would like that news.’

‘And why is that, dear?’

‘Because it means I don’t have to sneak around behind your back and let somepony else do the work for me.’

‘Right. I didn’t see the silver lining...’

Lyra pets the back of Bon Bon’s hoof. ‘And I don’t have to worry about practice in a couple days when we are in port next...’

Bon Bon looks up. ‘Go on.’

‘Well, I was thinking we can find a private beach somewhere...’ Bon Bon smiles. ‘I was also thinking of finding a bottle of chocolate syrup and some whip cream and making a Bon Bon sundae when we got there.’ Bon Bon gives a slightly embarrassed giggle. ‘I bet I can make her squeal like on our honeymoon.’

Bon Bon blushes as she remembers all of the fun they had. ‘I know somepony who is going to get special treatment for her horn soon...’

Lyra blushes. A grey coated and maned waitress comes up to the table. A supervisor is glaring at the waitress.

‘Are you ready to order?’

‘Oh! I totally forgot.’ Lyra starts scanning the menu for something good.

‘While you are looking,’ the waitress says, ‘I was asked to give you this.’

The waitress slides a note to Bon Bon. She opens it and reads it. ‘When the time comes, remember: Plasma Breaker. ‘ Bon Bon looks at the waitress who shrugs. She looks around and spots a black tail leaving the room.

Lyra looks up from the menu. ‘Do you have any finger foods?’

The Doctor and Derpy watch the outside of a suite. The door is guarded by two very large earth ponies. The snoops are pressed around a corner as not to be seen.

‘Drat. This will be tougher than I imagined,’ The Doctor muses. ‘We need a plan to get in there and talk with the pony in that suite. He is the key to this whole mystery.’

‘Why don’t we just go up and ask if we can come in?’

The Doctor looks at the security. ‘I’d like to waste my next regeneration on something less painful.’ He sits down to think. ‘No. This needs cunning and guile.’

Derpy thinks for a second and trots away. The Doctor does not seem to notice.

‘If I had a cane, I could pretend to be an older gentlecolt and then defeat them while they think I am helpless.’

Derpy trots up to the door with a package on her head. After a few words, the security lets her in.

‘No. Too risky and violent. Maybe if I had an oddly-shaped umbrella I could distract them somehow.’ He thinks for a moment. ‘No. I’d still have to knock them cold somehow. Maybe if I had a cricket ball... Nah. If I had a satsuma...’ He thinks more. ‘What am I trying to do? Feed them. Maybe if I had a pony-shaped time machine piloted by really tiny ponies...’ He laughs. ‘That would never happen. If I go up to them and shout “go to your room!” they might... beat me to a pulp.’ He peeks around the corner again. ‘Maybe I can reverse the polarity of the neutron flow of the... That doesn’t even make sense.’

The Doctor starts thinking really hard about the problem. Derpy exits the room, salutes the guards and rejoins her friend. She is carrying a sheet of paper in her mouth. She sits next to The Doctor.

‘How’s it going?’ Derpy asks.

‘I think I have a plan, but I need a tin dog, James’ scarf and a bag of jelly foals.’

‘Good luck.’

The Doctor looks up. ‘What have you got there?’

Derpy gives The Doctor the paper. ‘A present for you.’

The Doctor scans the paper. ‘This is every bit of information I wanted to find out. How did you get it?’

‘Uh, duh. There is mail service on this cruise, and I am a professional mailmare after all.’

‘Derpy! You’re brilliant!’ The Doctor gives Derpy a friendly kiss on the cheek.

Derpy blushes. ‘Heh, heh. I know.’

‘Come along. We’ll analyze this back at the TARDIS and plan our next step from there.’

The two ponies start trotting down the hall.

‘I am sure you had a good plan too,’ Derpy says.

‘Are you kidding? It was the best!’

Bon Bon is humming a song to herself as she gets ready for her shore leave with Lyra. Despite Lyra wanting to spend mostly ‘fun’ times together, Bon Bon wants to do some sightseeing and souvenir hunting too. She picks out her best sunhat and goes to the door to meet Lyra. Unfortunately, on the other side of the door is Derpy and The Doctor.

‘Perfect timing!’ The Doctor states as he pulls Bon Bon out of the room.

‘What is going on! Help!’ Bon Bon shouts as she is forced down the hall.

‘Help is exactly what we need you for,’ The Doctor replies.

‘Sorry about this,’ Derpy adds. ‘Right, Doctor.’

‘Yes. Very sorry. The sorriest.’

The group rounds a corner and plows right into another passenger.

‘Get out of my way! There is scandal ahoof, and The Great and Powerful Trixie must be witness!’

Trixie pushes past and runs down the hall. The Doctor picks himself up and dusts himself off.

‘Hmpf! That was rude. Come along.’

Bon Bon screams again as she is forced along. The Doctor leads them down to the hold. He navigates the cargo to find his TARDIS again. The large aquarium is missing. Bon Bon tries to say something before she is unceremoniously pushed into the TARDIS. The ship takes off as Bon Bon tries getting her bearings.

‘What is going on here? Where am I?’

‘Miss Bon Bon, we need your help,’ The Doctor states from the TARDIS console.

‘With what? I am just a normal earth pony. I don’t have magic or wings. I am definitely not suited for traveling the universe or whatever.’

‘How did you know about that?’

‘Who do you think got James to get Lyra to back off of you?’

‘Right. Well, I guess you want some explanation of what is going on.’

‘You think!’

‘Bon Bon, please calm down,’ Derpy says as she goes to her friend.

‘I’m trying, Derpy, but I am supposed to be on a date with Lyra right now.’

‘You can have more dates later,’ The Doctor quips.

‘No. We were going to date,’ Bon Bon emphasizes.

‘What does that mean?’ The Doctor asks.

Bon Bon growls and turns away. Derpy whispers to The Doctor.

The Doctor finally gets it. ‘Oh... Dancing.’

Bon Bon growls again.

‘It is okay,’ Derpy comforts her friend. ‘The Doctor will make up for it.’ She turns to glare at The Doctor. ‘Right?’

‘Definitely. All of the dates. Plenty of dancing.’ The Doctor rolls his eyes. ‘Can we get on with it now?’

Bon Bon looks from her friend to The Doctor, sighs and nods her head. ‘Fine. How can I help you fight the sea ponies or whatever?’

‘We’re not fighting them. We’re saving them.’

‘What?’

‘Yes, they are being threatened by the multimillionaire shipping magnate Sea Legs Macguffin.’

‘Okay. I quit. How do I get off?’

‘What now?’

‘That cannot be a pony’s name. It is just so...’ Derpy carries some papers over to Bon Bon. ‘... Fine. Continue.’

‘Anyway,’ The Doctor continues, ‘He has been cutting corners on the shipping lanes and going into sea pony territory despite Celestia’s explicit warnings not to do so.’

‘Wait. Celestia knows about sea ponies?’

‘There are a lot of things Celestia knows about that most ponies do not,’ Derpy states.

‘Right. The sea ponies tried fighting back, but Sea Legs somehow acquired a magically-enhanced kraken. It literally grows as it feeds on sea ponies. That is why there was no sea pony in the tank when we arrived.’

‘That is horrible!’ Bon Bon gasps. ‘I still don’t see how I can help.’

‘Your encounter the other day couldn’t have just been an accident. There must have been a reason.’

‘I got lost while heading to my room. I did nothing special.’

The Doctor frowns. ‘There is a small sea pony settlement near where the cruise ship is docked. It is probably gone by now. We are heading to an outpost Celestia maintains for meetings with the sea ponies. Hopefully, we can muster a force to defeat the kraken.’

Bon Bon frowns and looks down. ‘I am sorry. I am so sorry.’

That evening, Bon Bon is sitting on the docks at the outpost staring out to the sea. She lets out deep moan as she thinks about being away from her wife for the night. She looks back at the outpost. Inside, The Doctor is rallying the Equestrian army troops stationed there since help from the mainland will not arrive in time. Bon Bon sighs again and kicks a small rock into the sea. A second later, the rock lands back on the dock. Bon Bon kicks it again, and it is returned once more. Bon Bon leans down to the water. A face appears below the surface and stares up at her. She screams and falls backward. More and more faces appear then emerge from the water. Bon Bon looks around in fear at the dozen or so sea ponies staring at her.

‘D-d-d-DOCTOR!’

The Doctor appears at the doorway to the outpost then rushes out after seeing the situation. Derpy and some of the guards follow. The sea ponies back away at the show of force.

The Doctor turns back. ‘Hold on. Let me handle this.’

Derpy flies over to a sea pony. ‘Hi! I am Derpy! Nice to meet you.’

Derpy extends a hoof towards the water. The sea pony disappears beneath the water. Derpy frowns and rejoins The Doctor. The Doctor is as close to the water as he dares.

‘We come in peace. We just want to talk to one of your leaders. You are in danger.’

The sea ponies back away from The Doctor.

‘Blast. We need to find a way to ask them for help.’

‘What about one of their songs, Doctor?’ Derpy asks. ‘They had a song for just about everything when we encountered them last.’

‘Yes, well, while the words were all the same, there was something about the tone and melody that conveyed the meaning... Blast! I wish I could play the recorder or something.’

‘Shoo be doo, shoo shoo be doo.’

The sea ponies present draw closer. The Doctor and Derpy look over at Bon Bon.

‘Do that again.’

‘Huh?’

‘That song. When you encountered the sea pony, it must have been trying to ask for help. It must have sung that song to ask you for help. Sing it again. Exactly the same way.’

Bon Bon looks from The Doctor to Derpy to the sea ponies. They all seem to be expecting something from her.

Bon Bon clears her throat. ‘Shoo be doo, shoo shoo be doo.’

More sea ponies appear around the docks. Bon Bon keeps singing the song and more sea ponies keep coming. Suddenly, a large sea pony wearing an ornate helmet breaches the water and then swims up to the docks.

‘We have heard your calls for help. We are honor bound to aid in anyway we can,’ The sea pony says to the landed ponies.

‘Excellent, because we are in a lot of trouble,’ The Doctor replies.

The battle against the magical kraken is going poorly. Even though it turned on its so-called master and ate Sea Legs, causing his soldiers to turn on the creature, the combined forces of the sea ponies, Equestrian armed forces, and Sea Legs’ goons are getting wiped out. In the outpost, Bon Bon is hiding behind the TARDIS. Derpy is hiding with her.

‘Can’t we just escape yet!’ Bon Bon cries.

‘Don’t worry. The Doctor will find a way to save the day. He always has a brilliant plan or two.’

The Doctor pops out of the TARDIS. ‘Okay. Fresh out of ideas unless you can find me a portal to The Void or a paradox machine in the next ten minutes.’

Bon Bon screams in frustration. ‘Is your whole race daft! You don’t have a giant alien laser or the Hand of Omega or a plasma buster.’

‘None of that makes sense,’ The Doctor replies.

‘Wait. What was the last one?’ Derpy says.

‘Uh... It was just something I heard somewhere. Why?’

‘Come with me!’

Derpy lifts Bon Bon up and starts flying. They head out of the outpost, dodge a pegasi dive bomb team, loop around a crashing Wonderbolt, and land on the roof of the outpost.

‘Say that again.’ Derpy says. ‘And point at the sky.’

Bon Bon stares at Derpy in disbelief. ‘What are you on about?’

‘Please. Just do it.’

Bon Bon meekly raises a hoof. ‘Plasma buster?’

‘Louder.’

‘Plasma buster!’

‘Louder!’

‘Plasma Buster!’

‘LOUDER!’

Bon Bon takes a deep breath, points her hoof to the sky, and shouts as loud as she can. ‘PLASMA BUSTER!’

There is a glint in the sky, followed by a crack of lightning. A white and blue streak shoots from the sky trailed by a swirling trail of white and blue plasma trails. The streak weaves through all of the kraken’s tentacles, dodging them with ease. It shoots right towards the kraken’s beak, powering through a deafening roar. The streak disappears into the maw of the great beast. Then the plasma hits. it rips the kraken to pieces, sending chucks of it flying in all directions and covering the sea with a thick ambergris. A large chunk of kraken lands on Derpy and Bon Bon. Rei picks herself up from the mess.

‘Best. Cruise. Ever!’

The Doctor pops up from a hatch. He is under a multicolored umbrella.

‘Do clean up before you come inside, will you?’

At the docks at the end of the cruise, Bon Bon sulks beside the TARDIS. Rei stands next to her. The Doctor and Derpy are still in the TARDIS. All four are watching the ship unload.

‘Remember, this was an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime experience,’ The Doctor states. ‘Don’t tell anypony.’

‘Don’t worry.’ Derpy calms. ‘You can tell other ponies. They’ll just think you’re crazy.’ She looks at Rei. ‘Well, in your case somewhat sane.’ She looks at Bon Bon. ‘And it might help your marriage too!’

‘Thanks,’ Bon Bon moans. ‘That is just what I wanted to hear.’

‘Miss Bon Bon...’ The Doctor worries. ‘You seem frazzled. May I suggest a nice holiday?’

Bon Bon turns to The Doctor with all of the fury in the world. She points a hoof into the air.

‘PLAS...’

The TARDIS powers up and starts phasing away. Bon Bon shrieks and turns back to the docks. She and Rei go watch as the passengers start filing off at the various departure points. They eventually see some ponies they know. Rei starts shouting and waving and a group forms up.

‘Where have you been!’ Twilight scolds Rei. ‘We were worried sick about you!’

‘We were?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

Twilight growls at The Wandering Physicist. Selene steps up.

‘Really missed having you around, kid.’ She takes a big bite of an orange. ‘They had a giant orange buffet. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen. It was like it was all for me.’

‘Any bananas?’ Rei asks.

‘Not a one.’

‘Ah! Lucky!’

Pinkie pushes her sister through the crowds and right up to Rei. Pinkie’s hair has returned to its normal, puffy state.

‘Inkie, this is Rei. She is a fun one!’ Pinkie introduces. ‘Rei, this is my sister Inkie! She is a real smarty.’

‘Just don’t shake her hooves,’ The Wandering Physicist warns.

Inkie and Twilight groan in unison.

‘I am sure you will be great friends!’ Pinkie adds before prancing away.

‘Uh... hi.’ Inkie nervously extends a hoof in friendship.

‘Hi!’ Rei grabs Inkie in a big hug.

Inkie goes along with it, until something hits her. ‘You smell like rotten fish.’

Rei sniffs Inkie. ‘You smell like strawberry yogurt!’

Inkie moans and tries to break the hug. The Wandering Physicist goes over to where Bon Bon is moping.

‘I can smell you used the trick I taught you.’

‘How did you... Never mind. You two are masters at causing trouble.’

‘All of us from Ponyville have decided to rent out a train car for the trip back. Are you in?’

‘Sure. Whatever.’

‘Ah! Don’t be like that. There is somepony who wants to see you.’

‘What?’

‘Bon Bon!’ is cried from the ship.

A number of ponies are pushed off of the ship as an unicorn pushes her way to the dock. Lyra pushes her way across the docks and grabs Bon Bon in a tearful hug.

‘I am so sorry!’ Lyra cries. ‘What did I do to make you so mad at me? Is it because I am not covered in squid guts? Want me to cover myself in squid guts for you?’

Bon Bon sighs and hugs her crying wife back. ‘It is okay. I’ll tell you what happened later.’

‘I love you, Bon Bon.’

‘I love you too, Lyra.’

Bon Bon and Lyra comfort each other. With the rest of the Ponyville group, Trixie is saying her goodbyes.

‘The Great and Powerful Trixie bids you a fond farewell. I hope our paths cross again soon.’ Trixie bows to the group. She goes over to The Wandering Physicist. ‘I would use the line now while she is more receptive.’ She whispers. She turns back to the group. ‘Adieu!’

Fireworks cover her leaving. The Wandering Physicist takes a deep breath and goes over to Twilight.

‘Uh, Twilight, I was, uh, wondering...’

‘Hey!’ Pinkie interrupts. ‘You know what we should do when we get home? We should have a party!’

The Wandering Physicist sighs and waits for his next opportunity.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Rei fights a kraken. Get used to hearing about it. First Plasma Buster.

Story Event: This was my first attempt at writing two chapters that take place at the same time. This attempt does not go as well as I hoped. I get better at it. At least I think I do since nobody has told me otherwise.

Fun fact: The Doctor references almost all of his forms in this chapter.

RSI and the Mystery of Friendship

Main Characters: Rei, Stormy, Inkie, Lucas
Cameos: TWP, Twilight
Original Write Date: 12/25/2011

Rei paces back and forth in the main living area over The Power Block. The noise from the traffic downstairs is blocking the sound she is listening for. She starts flying since there is some very rude pony stomping around in the exact spots she is moving to, and it is very distracting. Thankfully, her flying allows her to hear somepony coming up the stairs. Rei hopes it is who she expects.

Stormy peeks around the top of the stairs. ‘Uh... Rei? You wanted to see me?’

‘Stormy!’ Rei bounces around the room. ‘It is Stormy!’

‘Yeah... You said it was an emergency?’

‘It is okay. We have time.’

There is a bit of an awkward silence between the pair. Rei smiles at Stormy. Stormy fidgets where he stands.

‘Wanna sit?’ Rei asks. She goes to the couch and plops down.

Stormy swallows and goes over to the couch. He nervously takes a seat next to the filly he likes. There is a return of the awkward silence.

‘So...’ Rei begins. ‘I thought you were going to shave your half-assed beard.’

Stormy winces at the comment. He is still trying to grow a beard at Rarity’s demand, but he is too young still to grow it out as much as she would like. He has been trying to act on sage advice and remove it, but his employer will not let him.

‘Yeah...’ Stormy moans. ‘I keep trying, but Rarity must be in tune with her house or something since she busts me as soon as I start my razor. She’s a quick one.’

‘Hmm... Come with me.’

Rei hops off the couch and heads to a room. Stormy follows out of curiosity. Rei leads him into a washroom.

‘What are you...’

Before Stormy can finish, Rei has activated The Wandering Physicist’s razor and charges. There is a brief flash of contact, and Stormy’s ‘beard’ falls harmlessly to the floor. Rei sheathes the razor like a sword.

‘Okay.’ Stormy is shocked. ‘That was a surprise.’

‘Just thought I would help a friend.’ Rei prances back out of the room. ‘And I am much quicker than she is.’ Except where it counts. She giggles.

Rei hops back to the couch and taps the seat next to her. Stormy shakes off his confusion and sits. Rei looks over and smiles. Stormy smiles back nervously. Rei’s eyes slowly drift up until she is looking at Stormy’s horn. She eyes the scar left from where he cracked it.

‘Does that still hurt?’

‘The crack? No,’ Stormy answers. ‘The worst of it was when I got that ointment or whatever from Mr Wanderer, but eventually it was all fine, if a little numb.’

‘Is it true you didn’t cry once?’

‘Not counting the treatment, yes, but that was because I was passed out most of the first night and the raging fire of pain and death was gone by the evening after it was applied.’

‘Can I touch it!’ Rei’s face is practically touching Stormy’s as she stares at him with hopeful eyes.

Stormy’s deep red blushing overpowers his magenta coat. He looks down nervously and tries not to panic or chicken out or both at once. He tries even harder to keep an involuntary horn glow from revealing what he is really thinking.

‘J-just be gentle.’

‘Duh. It is not like I am going to try eating it or something.’

Stormy bites his lip and remembers the pain of the healing salve to keep his horn in check. Rei tentatively reaches out and touches the scar. It feels a little softer than what she remembers of unicorn horn. She traces the scar with her hoof. Stormy closes his eyes and shivers a little as he tries not to think about the most beautiful filly he knows touching his horn. Rei does not notice that her wings are spreading on their own. Neither notice that a new challenger has entered the room. The new pony shrieks. Rei instantly stops and pulls her hoof away. Stormy opens his eyes and his horn gets a faint pink glow for an instant when he notices Rei’s wings. Both lock eyes briefly and blush. They turn to the entrance to see Inkie Pie hiding under a rug with her forelegs covering her face.

‘I am sorry!’ Inkie apologizes. ‘I would have knocked first but Mr James Wanderer Hayate said to just go on up.’

‘That is okay.’ Stormy tries standing, but he stumbles off of the couch. ‘I was just about to step out for a moment.’

Stormy hastily makes his way back downstairs, carefully avoiding the filly he just met. Rei takes a moment to relax, and her wings go back to her side.

Inkie comes out of hiding and gives her friend a weak smile. ‘Uh, hey Rei. You said there was an emer...’

‘Inkie!’ Rei dives across the room and tackles Inkie in a hug.

Inkie half-heartedly returns the hug. ‘Good to see you again too.’

‘You smell like a cherry sundae today!’

Inkie groans and tries breaking free. Rei eventually lets Inkie free and sits back.

‘How’s it going?’ Rei asks.

‘I am fine. And you?’

‘Great!’

Rei smiles at her friend. Inkie nervously fidgets a bit.

‘Uh... so what was the emergency you needed my help with?’

‘We have to wait for Stormy.’

‘Uh... will he be long?’

Rei ears twitch for a moment. ‘He just got outside. He stopped to talk with Wanderer-san on his way out.’

‘Okay....’

Rei tilts her head to the side as she looks at Inkie. ‘Have you ever been kissed?’

Inkie blushes and looks down, covering her face with her mane. ‘Wh-wh-why do you ask?’

‘Well, your sister had this magic plant that made everypony kiss her at our holiday party before we met you. It worked for me too. Have you ever used it?’

Inkie fidgets more. ‘Are you asking or offering?’

Before Rei can answer, there is a knock on the wall as Stormy returns.

‘I’m back. Sorry.’

‘Yay! Stormy!’ Rei cheers. She pushes Inkie into Stormy. ‘Stormy, this is Inkie. Inkie, this is Stormy. You’re both awesome fun ponies. We’ll be great friends!’

Rei poses dramatically. Inkie and Stormy smile and greet each other.

‘Hey! Who want drinks?’ Rei offers.

‘Shouldn’t we be helping with your emergency?’ Stormy counters.

‘Actually, I wouldn’t mind a break,’ Inkie replies. ‘I had a bit of a trek to get here.’

‘Great!’ Rei beams. ‘Take a seat, and we can catch up for a bit.’

Inkie and Stormy take seats at the table while Rei goes to the refrigerator. She tosses a trio of sodas to the table, and they land, opened, in front, of each pony with Rei taking a seat right before her drink lands.

‘Show off,’ Stormy tries saying dispassionately. ‘So, Inkie, where’d you meet our energetic host?’

‘I think we were on the cruise together,’ Inkie replies. ‘I am guessing she was that white streak I kept seeing around Mr Wanderer. We ran into each other after the trip.’

‘That was after I fought the kraken!’ Rei adds.

Both Inkie and Stormy roll their eyes in disbelief.

Inkie turns to Stormy. ‘Mr Stormy, how do you know Rei?’

‘We have some classes together, and we were in an after-school program together.’ Stormy explains.

‘What was the after-school program?’

Stormy blushes. ‘It was...’

‘A class on how to be a proper lady!’ Rei interrupts.

‘Oh, my!’ Inkie is surprised. ‘I thought you were a...’ She starts moving to look under the table.

‘I am!’ Stormy shouts. ‘I just have a jerk for a dad.’

‘He was top of the class,’ Rei adds.

Stormy sighs. ‘Yeah. But she was the only one to fail out.’

Rei sits up as if shocked. ‘Lies! Lies and slander!’

Inkie giggles. ‘Out of curiosity, what classes do you have together?’

Rei instantly calms. ‘Uh... Just maths and Lyra’s music class. I think.’

Stormy scowls. ‘We’re in every class together. You just don’t....‘ He looks sad for a moment. ‘Whatever.’ He turns to Inkie. ‘There are only a few advanced classes out here.’

‘Oh! I was in advanced classes too. But my cutie mark is for a scientific field so of course I was in all of the advanced classes until I graduated a couple years ago.’

Rei glares. ‘Are you trying to say you are smarter and cuter than me?’

‘I’m not cuter than you!’ ‘She’s not cuter than you!’

Inkie and Stormy instantly blush at their statements. Rei does not seem to notice since she is staring at her drink. She instantly snaps up.

‘Got ya!’

The others sigh.

‘Rei,’ Stormy sighs. ‘Can we get to the emergency you called us about?’

Now it is Rei’s turn to fidget. How dare they put her on the spot like this!

‘Well, actually...’ Rei looks away from her friends. ‘Actually, there is no emergency.’ Her friends shake their heads. ‘But I had a good reason!’

‘We’re listening,’ Inkie sighs.

‘See... I... I don’t have many friends.’ Rei frowns. ‘I just wanted to spend the day with somepony who liked me. I even had a fun adventure planned out. I am sorry for tricking you.’

Inkie and Stormy look at each other then smile at their friend.

‘I love fun things!’ Inkie beams.

‘Yeah. I’m game,’ Stormy agrees. ‘Anything to get out of a day of heavy lifting with Rarity.’ He laughs. ‘ ‘sides. I knew there was no emergency.’

‘Yeah,’ Inkie giggles. ‘Me too.’

Rei instantly perks up. ‘Great! Let’s get going!’ She goes back to the refrigerator. ‘I made everypony bento. Oh!’ She looks up. ‘We need a team name!’

‘Team name?’ Inkie asks.

Stormy moans. ‘This isn’t going to be like the Cutie Mark Crusaders, is it?’

‘No! We’ll actually have a cool name, like, uh, The Mane Six!’

‘There are three of us.’

‘Uh... Adventure Time!’

‘Stupid. Sounds like something Sweetie Belle would come up with.’

Rei growls. ‘You come up with one then.’

Stormy thinks. ‘Acquisitions Incorporated.’

‘Pfft. What are we acquiring?’

‘How about we start the quest and come up with a name on the way?’ Inkie suggests.

‘See! She is a smarty!’ Rei cheers. ‘Let’s go!’

Rei’s group treks out of town. Their packs are full of supplies that Rei said they would need. Rei is flying at their head with a map in her hooves.

‘SG-1’ Rei says.

‘That is stupid.’ Stormy replies. ‘Why not just call us Team Discovery Channel?’

‘I love Discovery Channel!’ Inkie chimes in.

Rei looks down at Stormy. ‘Pass.’

Inkie frowns and looks down. Rei drops back and pats her friend on the back. Inkie smiles up at her friend.

‘Rei, where are we going?’ Inkie asks.

‘We’re off to face the unknown.’

‘Yeah, but where are we heading?’

‘Don’t worry your pretty little head. I know where we’re headed and marked out a safe route.’

‘But where...’

‘An amazing voyage through the...’

‘Just tell her already!’ Stormy shouts.

Rei loops around and glares down at Stormy. He returns an equally powerful glare back. Rei huffs, flies up to the air and points.

‘When I got the idea to do this, I asked around for what would be a good place to see. Twilight told me of the old palace in the Everfree. I have to go there.’

‘Everfree, huh? Sounds dangerous,’ a new voice chimes in.

Rei nods. ‘It is dangerous to go alone. That is why I took these two with me.’

The other two turn to see the approaching pony. Rei remains focused on her goal. It turns out that Lucas is the newcomer to the group.

Stormy scowls. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Charming,’ Lucas retorts. ‘I can see why you were the classiest lady.’ He looks up at Rei. ‘Yo, Rei, need any more help on this little adventure of yours?’

‘We got this.’

‘Or, to put it another way, I saw you heading this way, contacted Boss and he suggested, as in told me, that I should help you.’

‘Do you have a team bento?’

‘You made them bento?’

Stormy smirks. ‘Personalized for each of us too.’

‘Right!’ Rei adds. She turns to Lucas. ‘How about an official Ponychester United team jersey?’

‘Pfft. Arsenal is better,’ Stormy scoffs.

‘Wait. That is an actual thing?’

Stormy and Lucas facehoof.

Rei points to the forest once more. ‘Rei-Team! Roll out!’

Stormy slams his head into the ground at the reference. Rei flies off with Inkie closely in tow. Lucas trots past Stormy.

‘If you can’t handle the heat...’ Lucas chides. ‘I thought they taught that on day one.’

Stormy picks himself up. ‘If Rarity’s sketches are anything to go by, you are half the stallion I am.’

Lucas growls. Stormy laughs and gallops up to Rei and Inkie.

In the forest, Rei leads the group while Inkie trots beside her talking about all of the plants they are seeing. The two colts and their rivalry keep back as a rear guard. Luckily, the group has avoided any encounters with monsters.

‘...And those trees are full of sweet fruits that attract all sorts of insects,’ Inkie explains. ‘The insects make good food for all sorts of animals, from birds to mongooses.’

‘Ooo! Mongooses! That is a good team name! The Fighting Mongooses!’

Stormy groans. ‘Maybe in your universe. I still think The Starbucks is cool.’

‘Their coffee is crap, and you know it,’ Lucas snorts.

‘I am not talking about the coffee chain. I am referring to a TV show.’

‘Probably a stupid one.’

‘Better than the kiddie cartoons you watch about those stupid apes.’

‘I like cartoons about humans made for foals. So what? The show is really well-made and the fan base is one of the best I have seen in years.’

‘Whatever. You probably just like the fapfiction or whatever it is called.’

‘Boys!’ Rei shouts. ‘Knock it off! We’re supposed to be getting along on this trip.’

‘Sorry, Rei,’ Stormy apologizes to Rei.

‘Yeah. Sorry,’ Lucas agrees.

‘Good. We just need something to talk about that we can all agree on...’

‘There was a recent journal on the nature of the Higgs Field that was very fascinating,’ Inkie suggests.

‘We could talk about all of the awesome anime that is coming in spring,’ Lucas offers.

Stormy thinks. ‘Yeah... None of my personal interests are stuff you would like too.’

‘I know!’ Rei laughs and flies a small loop. ‘We are all not from Ponyville, so we can talk about where we are from. I’ll go first.’

‘But I’m... never mind.’ Stormy sighs.

‘I am from northern Neighpon, from the city Haydo,’ Rei begins. ‘Well, not your Neighpon since I am from another universe. And from the future too! Like twenty years.’

‘Are there flying cars?’ Stormy teases.

‘No, but there are flying ponies. They are called pegasi,’ Rei laughs.

Stormy and Lucas groan at the backfired joke.

‘Interesting,’ Inkie ponders. ‘What sort of differences are there in the two worlds?’

‘Well, the most obvious is Queen Luna and different Elements of Harmony.... except your sister! She is still one of them.’

‘Different Elements...’ Inkie thinks. ‘Because of some change in your history?’

‘... Something like that...’ Rei frowns at the sad history of the Elements. ‘Anyway! My country is very technologically advanced like this universe, but I think we are also more independent spiritually. There is a lot less Luna worship where I am from.’

‘If Luna is your head of state, then is Celestia...’

‘There is no Celestia,’ Rei interrupts. She moans a little about the sad history. ‘Anyway! Stormy, you’re up.’

Stormy groans. ‘Ponyville born and bred. And you know most of my history since it got aired nicely in Rarity’s class for me.’

‘I don’t know your history...’ Inkie meekly asides.

‘But you weren’t around for Hearth’s Warming or the other winter holidays,’ Rei says.

‘My mom and her family are from Fillydelphia so I was with them. Nothing fancy.’

‘Probably why you don’t know much magic. No magic kindergarten like the rest of us,’ Lucas jeers.

‘So I wasn’t privately tutored and didn’t go to a fancy Canterlot, Manehatten, Fillydelphia or Los Arion school. Who really cares? If you want to pretend you’re better than me since you went to a fancy school, go ahead.’

‘I wasn’t implying...’ Lucas starts. ‘Forget it. I’m sorry.’

‘Whatevs,’ Stormy turns away.

‘Tsk. For a pink pony, you are very emo.’

‘Lucas!’ Rei shouts. ‘Stop being a meany! Don’t make me tell Wanderer-san on you.’

‘Yes, Rei,’ Lucas moans. ‘I’m sorry.’

Rei growls at Lucas for a bit before turning to Inkie. ‘I bet you have lots of fun stories about growing up with your sister!’

‘Hmm... Well, most of the fun was after she got her cutie mark, but there was this one time...’
…

Further into the forest and a couple topics later, the group is listening to Stormy tell the tale of how he got his cutie mark.

‘So, I was younger than Sweetie Belle when my mom died,’ Stormy begins. ‘My dad wasn’t any help, not to mention he started getting really involved with his religious and political groups after that. I remembered how much fun I used to have baking with my mom and started doing that again as a way to feel happy. Then, bam. That is how I got the same cutie mark as hers.’

‘That is so touching,’ Inkie sobs.

‘Poor little Stormy!’ Rei cries as she grabs her friend in a hug, making him really happy.

‘Hey!’ Lucas complains. ‘You didn’t hug me. How come you didn’t hug me?’

‘Your story was just you pretending to be in a video game and chasing your sister. That is lamer than Wanderer-san’s story.’

‘Fine. Whatever,’ Lucas grumbles.

Rei kisses Stormy on the forehead, brushing his horn briefly. She takes her place back at the head of the group while he thinks today is the best day of his life. The rest of the group look towards the leader. Lucas nudges Stormy and nods towards Rei. Stormy gives Lucas a serious look back, shakes his head and pokes Inkie. Inkie looks back at the two colts, who nod toward Rei. She sighs and rolls her eyes. She catches up to Rei and gently pulls her tail with her teeth.

‘Yes, Inkie?’

‘Uh, well, it is, uh, your turn,’ Inkie fumbles.

Rei sighs. ‘Right... Well, it is not as cute as yours or as touching as Stormy’s, but it is still better than Lucas’s story.’

‘Hey!’

‘Well, it is true.’

‘We don’t know that yet.’

Rei snorts at Lucas. ‘Like Stormy, I lost my parents, but I was a foal so I didn’t even know them yet.’

But what about what boss let slip... Lucas thinks.

‘I’m sorry,’ Inkie sympathizes.

‘It is fine. Queen Luna cared for me. I was like one of the family. I got to meet all of the Elements of Harmony when they came to Neighpon, and I would play with Prince Helios and Princess Alba when they visited. They were like younger siblings.’ Rei smiles to herself as she remembers fun times back home. ‘Anyway. I was watching the prince and princess one night while Luna was in the city on business, and my cutie mark just appeared. All I really remember thinking at the time was how much like a real family this felt like and how much I wished I had parents of my own...’

Rei holds back tears and looks down as she flies on. A magical aura surrounds her and pulls her back.

‘I’m so sorry to hear that, Rei,’ Lucas coos as he hugs her.

‘Help! Pervert!’ Rei cries.

Stormy uses his magic to help pull Rei as she pushes free. Lucas is left stunned.

‘But. What. When you would hug them...’

‘Yeah! It was not just yanking them from the ground!’ Rei shouts. ‘I was really scared for a moment!’

Lucas sighs and looks at the ground. ‘I am really sorry, Rei. I didn’t mean to scare you.’

Rei snorts and flies back to the lead. Inkie frowns and shakes her head at Lucas before dutifully following Rei. Stormy pushes Lucas.

‘Smooth, genius.’

‘Shut up. I thought I was being nice.’

‘Guys, please don’t...’ Inkie tries to interject.

‘You just need some better lessons in dealing with 3D girls.’

‘Yeah. Then I’ll turn into one like you.’

‘Will you give that a rest! If you payed one iota of attention, you would know the class wasn’t like that.’

‘Please stop fi...’ Inkie says before getting cut off.

‘Right. And Rarity had you pose for her “notes” for purely innocent reasons.’

A burst of magic sends Lucas into a tree.

‘Don’t insult Miss Rarity like that!’ Stormy shouts while an unstable aura surrounds his horn.

‘You really want to take me on...’ Lucas stands and charges a spell.

The unicorns growl at each other and wait for the other to make the first move. A bolt of lightning crashes between the colts. Rei lands where her bolt hit.

‘Enough!’ Rei roars. She glares at Lucas. ‘You have been nothing but trouble this whole trip!’

‘Thank you,’ Stormy jeers. ‘I have been saying...’

‘And you’re not helping!’ Stormy backs away. ‘You two have been total asshats for the past few hours, and this is the last straw!’ Rei turns away. She shakes as she holds back tears. ‘I just wanted to share something special with my friends, and you two are ruining it. You’re ruining my...’

Rei flies away from the group. Inkie tries giving chase.

‘Wait! Rei! Where are you going?’

‘I have the map. Twilight told me the safest route to get to the old palace. Wanderer-san even boosted my mobile so I can get a signal out here if I need help. Just go back the way we came to get out of here. You’re a smarty. You can lead the idiots out. I am going to finish my quest. Alone if I have to.’

Rei flaps her wings and disappears in a flash. Inkie turns back and glares at the unicorns.

‘Are you happy!’ She shouts before turning and running. ‘I am going to be a friend to somepony who actually deserves one. You can join us once you stop acting like mules!’

Inkie disappears after Rei. The unicorns watch after their friends, turn and glare at each other, before sighing and giving chase.

Trotting into The Power Block, Twilight Sparkle notices that neither store operator is at his usual post. Instead, there is a sign at the front of the store. There is an image of a very stern-looking Celestia at the center with the caption ‘Big Sister is Watching.’ Twilight laughs and makes her way behind the counter. On the counter, there is a pile of bits and a list of what games have been sold. Under the counter, The Wandering Physicist is curled into a ball sleeping. Twilight laughs again and sits down beside The Sleeping Physicist. She gets out her mobile and starts writing a message to surprise her coltfriend. Before she can hit ‘send,’ she gets a message herself.

‘Right here. Right now.’

Twilight has to contain an ‘eep’ as she is pulled to the ground so as not to alert any of the customers to the ponies under the counter. She holds back another squeak when she is kissed at the base of her horn.

‘Mr Wanderer, we might be seen.’

‘Just adds to the fun,’ is cooed into her ears.

Twilight blushes deeply. ‘We, we couldn’t do that.’ She squirms as her horn is kissed again. ‘It isn’t right just yet.’

‘Saving yourself for the right moment, eh?’ He hugs Twilight tight. ‘Maybe for the right day in Spring. Like the first of May perhaps?’

Twilight’s magic goes off spontaneously, and the couple is teleported to the upstairs living area and crash to the ground. Twilight quickly climbs out of their tangle.

‘Mr Wanderer... I could never do something like that. It would be just too embarrassing.’

He laughs. ‘I know. I just love seeing you freak out.’

Twilight growls. ‘Anyway. I came by about Rei. Is she enjoying the little quest I sent her on?’

The Wandering Physicist shrugs from where he lays. ‘I don’t know. She hasn’t checked in, but Inkie, Stormy and Lucas are with her.’

‘Them?’ Twilight is confused. ‘Why them?’

‘You saw how much Rei liked Inkie after the cruise. She is just a more subdued Pinkie but with science.’

Twilight rolls her eyes. ‘Of course you approve of the scientist.’

‘I like you, don’t I?’

Twilight blushes and growls at the same time. ‘And the others?’

‘Well, she has spent lots of time with Stormy from their classes.’

‘Right... And Lucas is always around here.’

‘Actually, he caught them on their way out of town and practically begged me to order him to follow them.’

Twilight goes over to the kitchen and throws out the drinks Rei left out. ‘I really hope they like the ruins. It is where I first felt the spark of friendship with the others.’

‘Rei has another reason for going there too.’

‘Really, what is it?’

‘Well, according to Celestia, I am not allowed to talk about it under threat of being offered a banana. Luna on the other hand is fine with me telling, but she has been censored by the banana edict. You’ll have to ask Rei when she gets back.’

‘You basically told me that it has something to do with her own universe by saying that.’

‘I also said that a certain princess is once again keeping truth from not only the public but her beloved apprentice too.’

‘I hate you so much right now.’ Twilight glares.

‘You have the cutest nose when it is scrunched in anger,’ The Slithering Physicist says as he drags himself across the floor to the stairs.

Twilight sighs and magics her coltfriend to his feet. ‘You are the laziest pony ever.’

Twilight starts heading back downstairs. The Wandering Physicist watches her pass.

‘Can’t you just teleport me down?’ he asks.

Using her natural Pie sense, Inkie trails Rei through the forest as best she can. She approaches a wood-and-rope bridge with crumbling ruins on the other side. Inkie hopes this is the old castle Rei was talking about. The bridge is sounder than Inkie would have guessed. Just inside the ruins, a familiar white pegasus is moping on the ground.

Rei wipes the tears from her eyes. ‘Hey, Inkie.’

‘Rei... Are you...’

‘I’m fine. Do you know why we came here today?’

‘I figured you were going to tell us at some point.’ Inkie approaches her friend. ‘It might just be me, but you can share if you want to.’

Rei looks back and smiles at Inkie. ‘You’re a great friend.’ She stands and looks around the ruins. ‘This is the only place that is similar to my world. It is the only place with a similar history, though the outcome was completely different.’

‘How so? What happened?’

Rei sighs. ‘On my world, Discord is both our greatest villain and greatest hero. What happened here is why he is so hated. It was here where he fought the princesses.’

‘I think I remember seeing that in a very old book once. It was before the capital was moved to Canterlot over a thousand years ago.’

‘Right. In our version of the battle, Discord killed Celestia. Instead of crumbling ruins, this place is a mausoleum for her.’

‘So... Seeing the palace in this state, it is like seeing what our planet was like before our timelines split. Fascinating.’ Inkie takes in the ruins. ‘Can I ask you a bit of a personal question?’

‘I guess so...’

‘You mentioned that my sister is in your universe. Am I there too? Is that why you invited me even though we barely know each other?’

Rei rubs against Inkie briefly. ‘I invited you because you are a fun pony!’ She stops to think a moment. ‘As to your other question, I don’t know if you are around, but Pinkie does have two kids, Apple and Rainbow.’

Inkie is shocked. ‘You mean she is a mom? Wait. Are they named like her friends from this...’

Rei springs into the air to dodge the question. ‘Hey! Let’s start exploring!’

‘Right on!’ ‘Let’s go!’ comes from behind the fillies. The fillies turn back to see their unicorn companions trotting up.

‘About damn time you show up!’ Rei scolds. ‘What took you so long?’

‘Gamers aren’t built for running IRL,’ Stormy laughs.

‘Nor are seamstresses,’ Lucas shoots back.

‘I didn’t know you sew,’ Stormy counters.

Lucas growls at Stormy. Rei growls at the fighting. She turns back to the ruins.

‘Well, we better get to cataloging and collecting samples. That report for Twilight is not going to write itself.’ Rei flies off to explore.

‘Wait. What report?’ Stormy chases after Rei.

‘I love writing reports!’ Inkie cheers.

Lucas moans. ‘Can’t we stop to eat first?’

Back at The Power Block, The Wandering Physicist is seeing off a very tired Lucas for the night. The young stallion barely has the energy to moan as he drags himself back to his apartment. The Wandering Physicist heads upstairs to his home. Rei and Inkie have their samples and artifacts out on the table. The Wandering Physicist sits down with the fillies.

‘I see you had fun today.’

‘We got to see all sorts of unique flora and fauna!’ Inkie squeals. ‘And the ruins had a level of preservation at made dating and stratifying our find very easy! Not to mention the rock samples that have to have been quarried from around Equestria!’

‘We saw where our worlds split,’ Rei adds.

‘Oh. That, too.’

The Wandering Physicist goes to get a drink. ‘We’ll have to see how that happened first hoof some time.’

Rei springs up, nearly knocking over the table. ‘Really!’

‘Pfft! No!’ The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Who do you think I am? The Doctor? I wouldn’t risk changing history. You might try flying off and saving Luna or something equally crazy.’

Rei mopes. ‘AWWWWWW!’

‘Uh, Mr Wanderer...’ Inkie begins.

‘Your sister will be over soon,’ The Wandering Physicist answers. ‘She offered to pick up some dinner for us on the way. Speaking of which, where is Stormy? Shouldn’t he be helping you with your homework too?’

‘He said he had to get something from the boutique before he could join us,’ Inkie explains.

‘Excuses,’ Rei snorts.

There is a clamor on the stairs as Stormy enters the living areas. He has a pack on his back.

‘Sorry I took so long. Rarity felt the need to scold me for no good reason.’

The Wandering Physicist puts a hoof on Stormy’s shoulder. ‘I am sorry for your loss.’

‘What? Huh? Oh! Blame Rei. She did it.’

‘Rei! You’re grounded!’

Rei sticks her tongue out at her guardian. Stormy rolls his eyes at the whole beard argument as he goes over to the table. He levitates his laptop out of his pack.

‘I whipped this up while Rarity was going on how my clean face was “The. Worst. Possible. Thing”.’ Stormy moans as he brings up a file. ‘Obviously she forgot we were out of orange juice this morning.’

‘Whoa.’ Inkie marvels at what she sees. ‘This is neat.’

Rei drools a little. ‘Ooooo! Shiny.’ She turns to Stormy. ‘I think Team Venture is better though.’

Stormy moans. On the screen, he as drawn up a simple flier that reads ‘RSI Adventure Team’ and has a picture of Rei, Inkie and Stormy posing at the ruins.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: First RSI adventure.

Letters from Home

Main Characters: King James Sparkle, Prince Helios, Derpy (RoH), TWP
Cameos: Lucas (RoH), Princess Alba
Original Write Date: 01/06/2012

King James Sparkle comes out of a meeting at Canterlot castle. He lets out a heavy sigh that carries with it all of the boredom the meeting induced and the relief he has to finally be free. He notices a number of castle staff rushing past as they set up for an upcoming event. He lets out another sigh as a series of painful memories wash over him.

The event is Ponyville Memorial Day, celebrating the memory of a city that was wiped out by an evil alien force. That day, all but one of the planet’s greatest heroes fell in the battle to repel the invaders. The day was saved when the scourge of Equestria, the god of chaos Discord, was manifest and destroyed the aliens once and for all. It was also the day that James was ‘born’ so to speak. It only cost him his identity and the life of the pony he loved. A very lovely wedding was also ruined that day.

James lowers his head as he walks to his next meeting. He always gets depressed this time of year as he misses his former fiancee. He would rip a hole in time and space to save her if only the wife would let him. She is right to stop him. He trained her well.

‘Dad! Wait up!’

James turns to see a blue-grey alicorn with a silvery mane run up. Given the time of the day, Prince Helios must have just gotten out of school. The younger alicorn catches up to his father.

‘You have a moment?’ Helios asks.

‘You know I would drop everything for my friends and children.’

‘Great. Can I have a thousand bits?’

‘Ask your mother and hell no!’

‘Fine. Can I get one of the royal chariots to take me to school next week?’

James looks at his son. ‘This isn’t for you, is it? You’re asking because your friends made you.’

Helios scowls. ‘I wouldn’t call them friends. More like leeches who think it would be cool to pretend they know the prince.’

‘I could say I know what you are going through, but I wasn’t co-ruler of the most influential nation in a global republic until a couple years before you were born. Sorry.’

Helios sighs. ‘I can understand wanting us to go to public school, but I just wish I could escape the throngs of gold diggers and social climbers.’

‘Don’t worry. You will find a group of friends who will understand you one day. Trust me. It just takes time.’

‘Thanks, dad. You know just what to say.’

‘No I don’t and you know that.’

The pair stop walking and look out over a garden. A small purple alicorn is reading near a statue of a unicorn with a six-pointed star cutie mark. The alicorn has several stacks of books surrounding her. James closes his eyes and moans.

‘You still miss her, don’t you dad?’

‘It is worse around this time of year. In a couple days, it would have been our anniversary.’

‘I wish I could have known her. You and mom speak so highly of her.’

James stares at his daughter and the statue for a moment. ‘In a way, you know her pretty well already because of my existence.’

‘Because you two merged minds or whatever?’

‘Not exactly. What I did to split from Discord.... It is hard to describe. Pretty much I transferred as much of my original essence to her. It was all up to her body and luck if either of us were to survive. But she had this spark within her. A powerful spark. Because of her, our minds merged, we regenerated, and we stand here together right now.’

A throat clears behind the royalty. They turn to see an attendant standing behind them.

‘Uh, King J...’

James glares down. ‘Can’t you see I am with my son now?’

‘But you have...’

‘Yes. I know I have a meeting, but this is more important. Just tell them I will be there as soon as I am free.’

‘Y, yes sir.’

The attendant runs off before he can get in trouble.

James snorts. ‘I hate that everypony tries cramming in their meeting before a holiday. I am going to fire Lucas if he fills my schedule like this again.’

‘You said that for Hearth’s Warming and the Celestia Sun Festival and every other holiday. For the past three years.’

James snorts. ‘You sound just like him.’

Helios laughs. ‘Hey. When is Auntie Pinkie getting here?’

‘You just can’t wait to cause trouble with Apple again.’

Helios rolls his eyes. ‘Pfft. I wish. He is always so hard-working and honest. It is hard to get him to mess around and do something crazy.’

‘Rainbow is always game for a crazy prank, and she loves doing fun things. You can always mess around with her.’

‘Yeah, if she is not off on some cloud sleeping or reading with Alba in the library.’ Helios sighs. ‘Full Moon knows how to have fun. She is a much better big sister than Rainbow. … When is she coming home?’

James closes his eyes and forces back sad thoughts. ‘She is probably never coming home. Theta was very clear about that.’

Helios sighs again. ‘I miss her. She was really fun. I just wish she could have known.’

‘With any luck, she is with the me of where she ended up and he is as thick as I am and accidentally told her already.’

‘You’re not as thick as you say you are.’

‘Right! He is thicker!’ A new voice shouts.

James shudders as his personal assistant Lucas storms up.

‘I thought I gave you the day off,’ James moans.

‘You’re right. You did. Dinky and I were at home helping her little sister get ready for her big recital tonight when my staff called and begged me to get you to go do your job.’

‘If this is about me potentially being late for Krile’s big night, I was just going to cut out of my later meetings anyway.’

‘Boss! You are going to go to your meeting now! No more time to dawdle. How many times do I have to tell you that running a country is not like running a video game shop?’

‘I could fire you, you know.’

‘Fine. Do that. I’ll be back to work tomorrow whether you like it or not.’

Lucas storms away. James growls at his friend. Helios laughs at his dad. Alba looks up from her book to watch the shouting.

‘I’m going to tell Lyra that Derpy is a human and that is why all her kids are unicorns!’ James yells after Lucas.

‘Don’t care! Do your job!’ Lucas shouts back as he exits the hall.

‘It’s okay, dad. I shouldn’t keep you longer.’

Helios hops to the garden and trots over to chat with Alba. James grumbles then flies off to his meeting.

Later that night, James passes through a busy hallway clogged with ponies running and flying all directions. None of the ponies stop for any formalities with the king nor would he want them to. He gets to the end of the hall and enters an office. Derpy is sitting at her desk going over mail routes with an assistant. When she sees James enter, she waves her assistant away.

‘Hey, Chief!’ Derpy beams. ‘How can I help ya?’

‘Postmaster general,’ James says with a mock salute.

Derpy rolls her eyes, somehow in opposite directions. ‘Ugh. You have been doing that ever since I retired from traveling with The Doctor and took this job.’

James laughs. ‘Sorry. Anyway, I was talking with Helios earlier and that got me thinking, and well... I have a letter I need you to deliver for me...’

James drops an envelope on Derpy’s desk.

It is Ponyville Founders Day! All the residents of Ponyville are out at the center of town for the holiday. The Apple Family is serving their best Zap Apple products. Twilight is giving history lessons about various events and places in Ponyville, which the visiting Inkie is absorbing as best she can. Pinkie and Stormy have whipped up a giant batch of the greatest cupcakes in Equestria. Fluttershy has arranged for all of the local animals to sing happy tunes for the event. Rarity has sewn special costumes for all of the community leaders and presenters to wear. Discord watches the event from a cloud, hiding his sorrow by playing pranks with Rainbow Dash. The Wandering Physicist is even in the spirit by actually coming outside and having fun while the sun is out. Heck, somepony has to keep an eye on Rei so she does not cause too much trouble.

Yet in a more secluded part of the town, a covert action is going down. The muffled sounds of a TARDIS materializing can be heard coming from inside The Power Block. Inside The Wandering Physicist’s TARDIS, an older Derpy walks up to the center console. She appears somewhat translucent. She gets a letter from a well-worn mail pouch and sets it in plain view. She pulls a sonic screwdriver from her bag, aims it at the letter and activates it. The letter becomes more material as it phases to existence. Her mission complete, Derpy turns to head down one of the interior corridors but there is a pony in her way.

‘Chief!’

‘Very clever, D-squared,’ The Wandering Physicist compliments. ‘Uncoupling the phase regulator and setting quantum drift to maximum then materializing within the TARDIS herself. You cannot fully interact with the world, but you can sonic inanimate objects so they can permanently exist in this reality. Quite brilliant.’

‘You’re supposed to... Good to see this side of you again, Chief.’

The Wandering Physicist picks the letter up from the console. ‘I’m just glad I figured out how you were doing this. Too bad you can’t bring Rei with you. She would be thrilled to go home.’

‘It would rip her atoms in half.’ Derpy shakes her head. ‘It is always a big stretch just coming here.’

‘Just tell me to stop writing these out himself. My mouth-writing is a dead giveaway.’

‘Will do, Chief!’

The Wandering Physicist and Derpy salute each other and head their different directions. The Wandering Physicist takes the letter to Rei’s room before heading back out to rejoin the festival.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: First appearance of Rei's siblings Helios and Alba in TWP canon.

Story Event: Though this is the second time visiting RoH, it was also intended to be the last RoH appearance in TWP. I wanted to keep the two worlds separate since Rei will NEVER return to her home universe. Unfortunately... Well, just skip to First Day of School, Hang in There and A Slice of Home for more RoH in TWP action.

Variable Substitution

Main Characters: TWP, CMC, Diamond Tiara,
Cameos: Rei, Stormy, Lucas, Dream Maker, Coal, Droll, Rip, Marvel, DC, Image, Kaeko, Ruby Dart, Twilight, Pinkie, Celestia/Amy, Luna, Lyra, Cheerilee, Twist, Silver Spoon, Snails, Mayor Mare, Inkie
Original Write Date: 01/09/2012

Ponyville is a virtual ghost town. Thanks to an unfortunate choice of ingredients for a party dedicated to Zecora, the entire town has come under the effect of poison joke pollen. Well, almost the entire town. Only the nerd district escaped the outbreak due to a conspicuous absence from the guest list. The shop owners are currently meeting with the mayor as she goes over the situation with them.

‘Do you understand why I called you here?’ Mayor Mare asks in a heavy Rhinelander accent.

‘You are looking for John Connor?’ Droll replies. Coal gives him a quick jab in the side.

‘This is because of Pinkie’s party the other day, am I correct?’ Marvel answers.

‘Correct.’ The mayor slams a hoof on her desk. ‘We are in trouble! We need your help!’

‘Isn’t Twilight working on a solution?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘Indeed she is.’ (Mr Purple. The Wandering Physicist thinks in a Rhinelander accent.) ‘But we have run into another problem.’ The mayor gets up and goes to a window. ‘See, we have enough of the treatment to cure the town, but Princess Sparkle’s plan will take at least two weeks to be fully implemented.’

‘Plan? What plan?’ Dream Maker asks.

‘She has organized a treatment schedule wherein the more important ponies in town get treated first. This leaves a bit of a gap in the ponies needed to effectively run the town.’

‘Surely, that doesn’t mean you want our help running emergency services or operating the weather patrol,’ Kaeko worries.

‘That is not an issue. And don’t call me Shirley,’ The mayor replies. ‘Our first responders are also the first treated. As for the weather patrol, Miss Dash has put out calls to Cloudsdale for help. No, what we need you to do is more crucial to the operation of the city.’

Everypony in the room starts getting a little nervous.

‘We need you to run the schools for us.’

‘What?’ Everypony replies.

‘I call Magic Kindergarden!’ Dream raises a foreleg. The others look at him. ‘What? It has to be covered by a unicorn, and my magic prowess is the best here.’

‘That can be debated...’ Lucas groans from the back of the group.

‘Oh yeah!’ Droll jeers. ‘I challenge you to horn wrestling!’

Coal smacks his brother with a book. He turns to the mayor. ‘Are you sure that is a good idea?’

‘I don’t know,’ Diamond Crystal says. ‘It sounds sort of fun.’ She turns to Marvel. ‘We’d get to keep an eye on Image, too.’

‘It would be mostly to observe the students and keep them in line while their parents get back to normal,’ The mayor adds. ‘We should be able to supplement your numbers with other community members and the few teachers still available.’

‘Please say Cheerilee is still available,’ The Wandering Physicist says to himself.

‘Actually...’ The mayor begins.

The Wandering Physicist closes his eyes. ‘Don’t finish that sentence!’

‘You know,’ Coal thinks. ‘That is a good idea. Mr Wanderer should get Cheerilee’s class.’

‘Definitely.’ Lucas agrees. ‘He already has a reputation for keeping the Cutie Mark Crusaders in line.’

The Wandering Physicist turns to the others. ‘You,’ he points to Lucas, ‘you’re fired. And you,’ he points to Coal, ‘you’re a foreigner, so shut up.’

‘Bite me,’ Coal replies.

‘Come on, James. You know it will be fun,’ Marvel encourages.

‘Right, bro. How hard can it be?’ Rip adds.

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Fine!’

‘It is good to see you are willing to help,’ the mayor notes. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have other business to attend to.’ The other ponies start milling about. She pounds on her desk. ‘Leave now!’

The ponies flee from the office.

‘She’s really getting into the spirit of her affliction,’ Kaeko says as they regroup outside.

‘Ugh... I’ll trade anypony classes,’ The Wandering Physicist offers.

Lucas sighs. ‘Boss, you just agreed to...’

‘I know. I just don’t wanna,’ he pouts. ‘Can’t I run the night school instead? You know, something with normal hours?’

‘Don’t worry, James,’ DC assures. ‘We’ll handle everything else. You just ask Cheerilee what you have to do for your class tomorrow.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs.

‘Oh! And can ya ask your friend why we weren’t at her party while yer at it?’ Rip adds.

The Wandering Physicist shivers. ‘There is a conversation I have been dreading.’

The top floor of Sugarcube Corner is completely dark. All of the shades are drawn. It also seems that the windows are boarded up. There are also nasty signs warning visitors to stay away. From inside, a slight whooshing sound is heard, followed by a sharp ‘GO AWAY!’

The Wandering Physicist picks himself up from inside his TARDIS. ‘Wow. For a filly with a floppy tongue, you sure can yell when you need to.’

A flat-haired, floppy-tongued, slightly-grey Pinkie cowers in a corner of her room. She is guarded by a stack of rocks, a ball of lint, a bag of flour, a bucket of turnips and Gummy dressed in a hooded white robe. The Cautious Physicist makes his way very slowly past Pinkie’s elite guard and goes over to the very depressed Pinkie Pie. He tries giving her a hug but gets violently shoved away only to be caught by Rocky.

‘Okay. That hurt.’

Pinkie looks back, forces down tears than looks away again.

‘Pinkie... We have a pact, you know. I will get you to smile.’

Pinkie spits something incoherent.

‘Well, Twilight was the first to ask. Then everypony else asked me. And Rip talked to me about you just a bit ago.’

Pinkie spits back.

‘They were all worried about you.’ Pinkie spits. ‘Okay. So Rip wasn’t, but everypony else was.’

Pinkie spits dejectedly.

‘Don’t say that! Nopony is really mad at you. At least nopony I have talked to. All of your friends still love you. Everypony I talked to understands it was an unfortunate accident. Please stop beating yourself up about it.’

Pinkie looks back and spits.

The Wandering Physicist comes over and gives Pinkie a hug. ‘Don’t worry. We all still love you.’ He gives Pinkie a kiss on the cheek.

Pinkie starts crying a bit.

The Wandering Physicist gives Pinkie another friendly kiss. ‘Can we put your friends away? I think Madame Le Flour is looking at me funny.’

Pinkie spit-laughs. She turns back and spits something at the inanimate objects and Gummy. Gummy turns around and walks off to do what Gummy does. Pinkie nods at her handiwork.

‘Thanks.’ He gives Pinkie a tight hug. ‘Now that we’re alone... Why weren’t we invited to the party?’

Pinkie lets out a loud moan. She starts spitting her response.

‘Still, it wasn’t nice to exclude an entire area of town. It is not like we have cooties or anything.’

Pinkie spits a response.

‘Oh Pinkie. It is not really about inviting us to the party. It is the fact that you inadvertently excluded the entirety of the group that is stereotypically excluded from parties.’

Pinkie moans again.

‘I forgive you since you know my feelings on parties. Most of the others are fine with it too. Rip is a little irked, but his real name is Tim and that isn’t even his natural color.’

Pinkie spits.

‘Nopony knows.’

Pinkie sighs then spits.

‘I can stay as long as you want.’

Pinkie sighs and cuddles up to the pony she loves.

The next morning, The Wandering Physicist is at the schoolhouse right on time. The inquisitive stares of all of the young colts and fillies as he stands in front of the class is quite unnerving.

‘So where do we be...’

‘Who the heck are you?’ A pink filly with a tiara asks.

‘It is The Wandering Physicist!’ Sweetie Belle cheers. ‘He is a friend of Rarity and Stormy.’

‘Mah big sister talks about ‘im all the time!’ Apple Bloom adds.

‘His daughter is the best flier after Rainbow Dash!’ Scootaloo brags.

‘His shop is the best in Ponyville!’ A small pinto colt shouts in a Trottingham accent.

‘Yes. Thank you, everypony.’ The Wandering Physicist cuts off. ‘So... Where to begin?’

‘How about you thtart with what you know betht?’ A cream colored filly with large glasses suggests.

‘Not a bad idea...’ He turns to the board and writes ‘Physics’ in big letters. ‘So, physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Phyyyyyyyyyyysics.’ He pauses for a moment. ‘I hope you are getting this all down?’

The pink filly scoffs, ‘Are you really our teacher while Cheerilee is sick?’

The Wandering Physicist draws a leather flap with a slip of paper. ‘I think you’ll find I’m universally recognized as a mature and responsible adult.’

The pink filly groans. ‘That is just a lot of wavy lines.’

The Wandering Physicist looks at the paper. ‘... Yeah, it shorted out. Finally, a lie too big.’

‘You’re not really that bright, are you?’ A light blue-grey filly with silver glasses snorts.

The Wandering Physicist growls and glares at the filly. He turns away from the class for a moment.

‘Hi. Cheerilee? ... Are we allowed to hit them? ... Why the frak not!’ He glances back to see a freaked out class. ‘Got to go. I think they heard me.’ He turns back and smiles. ‘Wassup?’

The whole class looks nervous, except for the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

‘Uh... So who wants some recess?’

At the local high school, Coal and Droll are getting ready for their next class. Coal reads at the desk while Droll stands in front of the class handing out a syllabus. After the bell rings, Coal groans and looks up from his book.

‘Listen up. I am Coal. This is Droll. I am going to be in charge of the class while your teacher is out. That has your assignments for the next couple weeks. Just behave and keep it quiet, and we’ll be fine.’

Coal picks up his book again, but a pegasus filly raises her foreleg. The unicorn sighs.

‘Yes?’

‘If you are the teacher, who is he?’

‘Droll? Technically, I am babysitting him too, but I brought him along for discipline enforcement.’

Droll steps forward. ‘I’ll take it from here.’ He levitates a paddle from nowhere. ‘Talking out of turn... That's a paddling. Looking out the window... That's a paddling. Staring at my sandals... That's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe... Ooh, you better believe that's a paddling.’

Coal groans and goes back to reading.

Back at the schoolhouse, The Wandering Physicist is setting up a projector. Then, he turns it on and puts a sheet of paper on it. Once the projector is powered up, some words and equations appear.

‘Okay! Trying this again.’ He points a laser pointer at the projection. ‘Using the Lorenz Transformations, prove the interval.’

All of the students just stare at the projection. Eventually, Scootaloo raises a foreleg.

‘Yeah... Miss Cheerilee didn’t teach up any of that.’

‘What!?’ The Wandering Physicist is shocked. ‘This is basic relativity! Might not be week one stuff but at least within the first month.’

‘Relativity?’ Silver Spoon scoffs. ‘Sounds made up.’

The Wandering Physicist growls at the young filly causing her to hide under her desk. He turns back to the class.

‘Seriously. How have you not seen this? It is just algebra.’

‘Alge-what?’ Apple Bloom asks. ‘That’s not a word.’

‘Yes it is!’ Sweetie Belle argues.

‘What are you? A dictionary?’ Scootaloo shoots back.

The Frustrated Physicist facehoofs. From the back of the class, Snails raises a foreleg.

‘Uh... I think I got it, eh?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs and goes to check the young colt’s work. After staring at the paper for a few moments, he looks up to the rest of the class.

‘He is the smartest one in the class, right?’

Twist faints from her seat.

Rei happily flies to class. Stormy and a red earth pony with a light yellow-green mane are trotting alongside her.

‘This is so great!’ Rei giggles. ‘We’ve had subs all day. I love it!’

‘Of course you like it,’ Image Crystal grumbles. ‘Your parents aren’t the ones...’

Stormy stops Image from finishing his thought.

‘I can’t wait to see who is replacing Heartstrings-sensei. She is always so crazy.’ Rei laughs.

‘Right. Maybe we’ll get one with some taste in music or at least somepony sane,’ Stormy agrees. ‘I heard MC RC is subbing here while the regular teachers are out.’

The students enter the classroom and take their seats. There is no sign of a teacher. Rei gets really giddy at this new development.

‘Don’t get too excited, Miss Tsukiyo,’ is said from nowhere.

One of the students screams as Lyra drops from the ceiling. She lands with a dramatic pose on her hind legs. She stands back on her hind legs and goes to the board.

‘You thought I would go down that easily? HA!’ Lyra laughs. ‘Thanks to my expert training, I am immune to all human poisons.’

‘In other words, you only ate the confections I made.’ Stormy jeers.

Lyra laughs. ‘Maybe. Maybe I only ate treats made by my wife too. Nopony will ever know.’

The whole class groans.

‘Anyway! On the topic on human poisons and how to defeat them, I am going to give you a special lecture on avoiding human infection.’

Lyra activates a projector and a long list of items written in tiny print appears.

‘I hope you have plenty of lead since you’re going to need a lot of notes to pass the test at the end of the week.’

The whole class moans.

The boards at the schoolhouse are covered in complex-looking, but ultimately quite simple and easy to follow, equations. The Wandering Physicist writes one last equation on the board.

‘And if we simplify and perform the variable substitution we have been using all day, we get this neatly organized equation for the observed motion of one object in one reference frame when seen from a separate moving reference frame. Thus completing our overview of the basics of special relativity.’

He turns to the class. Most of the students are staring at the board in shock. The few that actually tried following the lecture are staring at their notes in utter confusion. A small pink unicorn found a nap to be a powerful coping mechanism. The Wandering Physicist looks over all of the confusion in the class.

‘I think we’ll get to Minkowski Space in another lecture...’

The bell rings signaling the end of class.

‘Thank Celestia that is over!’ Scootaloo cries before rushing out of the schoolhouse and ‘revving up’ her scooter for some afternoon crusading.

All of the other students start packing their bags. Twist looks around and raises a foreleg.

‘Are you going to give uth our homework athsignment?’

‘NOOOOOOOO!’ The whole class yells at once.

‘Crap. I forgot about that.’ The Wandering Physicist thinks for a moment. ‘Play at least three hours of an 8-bit game and write a one-page report on it. Single spaced, twelve point font.’

The class is in shock once again. Scootaloo looks back in.

‘So our homework is to play video games and write about them?’

‘Right.’ The Wandering Physicist nods.

‘Best. Teacher. Ever!’ Scootaloo cheers.

The rest of the class has perked up and even wish The Wandering Physicist well as they exit. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon exit together as usual.

‘I still think you are weird.’ Diamond Tiara scoffs.

‘Whatever.’ The Wandering Physicist rolls his eyes ‘You’ll make somepony with a tsundere moe real happy once day.’

‘What does that mean!’ Diamond Tiara shouts as the schoolhouse door is closed in her face. ‘Hey!’

The Wandering Physicist sighs and goes about cleaning up the classroom for the next day.

Ruby Dart hums Code Monkey to herself as she works on a customer’s repair order before the start of her morning class. Slowly, the students start filing into class and turning on their computers. The majority of them are confused when a boot cycle they are unfamiliar with starts. Ruby finishes the repair before the bell rings, giving her time to check messages on her computer before class starts.

‘Okay!’ Ruby greets the class. ‘I was quite disappointed with your quiz scores on basic computer systems and programming, so I thought we would...’

Ruby stops when she notices several forelegs in the air.

‘Yes?’

A colt replies, ‘Well... I think there is something wrong with our computers.’

Ruby is surprised. ‘You better believe there was something wrong! They were all running Windows! It took Mr Wanderer, Lucas and I all night just to switch them all over to the current version of Ubuntu.’ She shrugs. ‘We figured we’d start you there before going on to something more specialized.’

The rest of the class stares back blankly.

Ruby is worried. ‘How many of you have used Linux before...?’

Nopony raises a foreleg.

‘Dear Luna, this is worse than I thought.’ Ruby is aghast. ‘Okay. Looks like we are starting you with the basics. I am going to have to have a word with your teacher about this oversight as well...’

The homework assignment was a popular one and the students enjoyed sharing their old school game experience with the class. The Wandering Physicist also got to talk more with the students who had to come into The Power Block to find a game. The last student finishes their report and sits back down.

‘That was a rather detailed report on Karnov, Snails. Moreover, I am surprised you actually could beat the game.’

‘It’s a gift,’ Snails replies.

‘Right....’ The Wandering Physicist turns to the rest of the class. ‘Continuing in this vein, we’re going to go from gaming history to some world history. Where to start...’ He thinks for a moment. ‘Who can tell me anything about the advancements that Discord helped ponies develop before he was unjustly frozen in stone?’ He snorts. ‘Thank Fluttershy he is free again.’

‘Advancements?’ Apple Bloom is confused. ‘Ah thought he jus’ caused a lot o’ trouble ‘til Applejack froze him again?’

‘Nuh uh! It was Rainbow Dash who defeated him!’ Scootaloo shouts.

‘No way!’ Sweetie Belle chimes in. ‘It was Rarity!’

‘Stop!’ The Wandering Physicist holds his head in frustration. ‘So you don’t know anything about how he spread medical and cultural development to far-flung settlements around the world? Only the propaganda Celestia disseminates?’

‘What is propaganda?’ Dinky asks.

‘Never mind.’ The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘What about Luna?’

‘She’s the best princess ever!’ Pipsqueak cheers.

The Wandering Physicist briefly points at Pipsqueak. ‘Not Twilight, but close enough. Aside from that though? Did you go over any of how she was excluded from the daily rule by her sister which allowed for the rise of Nightmare Moon?’

The class murmurs among themselves.

‘Ugh. This is worse than I thought.’ The Wandering Physicist thinks some more. ‘Please tell me you at least went over Krastos the Destroyer?’ The class shakes their heads. ‘Really? He conquered a third of Equestria. He had so much power that Celestia had to seal him under a mountain. He vowed to return in six hundred years since Celestia could not use the Elements of Harmony to seal him permanently as she tried unjustly forcing upon Discord.’ He turns to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. ‘You better hope your sisters are cured in the next couple of weeks since that six hundred year anniversary is coming fast.’

There is a flash of light outside, and the door to the schoolhouse flies open. A very-angry looking white unicorn is standing outside.

‘Mr Wanderer!’ Amy shouts. ‘Can I have a word with you?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Looks like Big Sister strikes again.’ He turns to the class. ‘Behave and try not to break anything. This will only take a moment.’

The Wandering Physicist trots outside to join the fuming Amy. She casts a spell on the schoolhouse to silence the argument from being heard by the young fillies and colts gathering at the windows to listen. Amy paces around for a moment before turning on her adversary.

‘Why do you challenge my rule at every turn!’ Amy shouts.

‘I am not challenging it. I am just filling in the gaps that you left out.’

‘You make me sound like some sort of tyrant! I always have the best interests of my subjects in mind!’

‘Your subjects didn’t even know you had a sister until recently.’

‘Wha... But... She wasn’t my sister at the time. She was....’

‘So the hundreds of years before she was Nightmare Moon she was.... who?’

Amy twitches under her disguise. ‘Shut up. That is not a fair example.’

‘And not knowing about Krastos...’

Amy shudders again. ‘I-I am sure Twilight Sparkle will have fixed this mess and be ready to face him when the time comes.’

‘You do know she volunteered the Elements to go last as not to seem like she is playing favorites.’

Amy’s eye starts twitching. ‘She... She really...’ She pauses and grits her teeth. ‘Damn it, Twilight Sparkle.’

‘Maybe if she and public knew of the oncoming threat....’

‘Shut up. I hate you so much right now.’

‘How much history have you covered up?’

Amy groans at the question.

‘Do they know about sea ponies?’ Amy’s eye twitches. ‘How about the true history behind Hearth’s Warming?’ Amy holds back a scream. ‘Please tell me they at least know about the first contact with humans thirty years ago.’

There is a loud crash from by the schoolhouse. The arguers look over to see Lyra picking herself up from a fallen bin.

‘Aha! I knew they existed!’

Lyra gallops off, while laughing hysterically. Amy looks like she is ready to explode under her disguise. She slowly turns back to The Wandering Physicist.

‘Great. Now we are going to have to erase her memory... again.’

The Wandering Physicist shakes his head. ‘See. This is exactly what I am talking about. You have to learn to trust your subjects.’

‘But if word got out...’

The Wandering Physicist stands his ground and glares right into Amy’s eyes. ‘No. You will not harm her or anypony ever again! If I find out that anypony gets their mind erased or anything else bad that can be traced back to you, I will reveal all of your darkest secrets to Twilight, and your most prized student will come running down that road any second now, raining destruction.’

As if on cue, Twilight is seen galloping up to the schoolhouse. The Wandering Physicist turns to Amy and shakes his head.

‘MR WANDERER!’ Twilight shouts.

Amy smugly laughs. Twilight reaches the group and gives The Wandering Physicist her most upset glare.

‘Do you think I wouldn’t find out? How long do you think you could have kept it up?’

‘One, no, you would have found out eventually. And B, all night if you were in the mood,’ Jim winks.

Both Twilight and Amy blush from the brazen statement. Twilight’s floppy horn shoots some sparks as a teleportation spell fizzles and her wings stick up.

‘You remember Amy, right?’ The Wandering Physicist asks. ‘You met at the holiday party at my place.’

‘Y-yes,’ Twilight answers. ‘An-a-and do you even know what I was, am, AM upset about?’

‘Not a clue. Is it about Krastos?’

Amy facehoofs.

Twilight is confused. ‘Who? No.’ She sighs and pouts. ‘You were supposed to be teaching at the high school. Somepony messed up my plan and now you’re here.’ She sighs again. ‘No doubt spreading rumors again.’

‘Just filling in some gaps,’ The Wandering Physicist smirks.

Amy snorts at the comment. Twilight looks over at the other unicorn.

‘Sorry for ignoring you.’ Twilight bows slightly. ‘It is good to see you again.’

Amy bows. ‘Likewise.’

Twilight turns back to The Wandering Physicist and tries to glare at the smiling face. ‘You better behave yourself. I don’t want to hear any stories about you corrupting the students while Cheerilee is out sick.’

‘No worries. All we have done is learn relativity and play video games. We were going to be having a history lesson today.’

Twilight nods. ‘Good. See that it is a good one. No crazy stories, okay?’

The Wandering Physicist raises a hoof. ‘They will get the one hundred percent truth.’

‘Excellent!’ Twilight claps her hooves. ‘Um...’

Twilight quickly gives The Wandering Physicist a kiss on the cheek before galloping off to get back to distributing the poison joke cure. The Wandering Physicist turns back to Amy with the smuggest grin he can bear.

‘So I guess you know I don’t harm Lyra or anypony else.’ Amy snorts.

‘Yep.’ The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a class to teach.’

‘Luna said you are a frustrating one.’

‘Was that the hundred percent truth? Or was it just one percent of the ponies having ninety-nine percent of the facts?’

Amy sneers. ‘Don’t push it.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘I might be hundreds of years younger than him, but he could have figured this much out while he was dating Luna. It would have saved a lot of suffering.’

The Wandering Physicist advances and wraps his forelegs around Amy.

Amy panics. ‘What is this? What are you doing?’

‘Shh. It is okay. It is hard running a country. You are doing the best you can. It is not your fault.’

Amy forces back some tears. ‘What? Stop it.’

‘It is not your fault.’

‘Shut up.’ She lets a few tears free.

‘It is not your fault.’

‘I hate you!’ She starts openly crying.

‘It is not your fault.’

‘Release me!’ She pauses. ‘I-I have to see my sister for an unrelated reason right now.’

Amy pushes away from The Wandering Physicist and runs away before she teleports back to Canterlot.

The Wandering Physicist watches her go in shock. ‘I had no idea that worked.’ He pauses. ‘Damn good movie.’ He sighs, shrugs and waves them outside for recess.

Dream Maker watches his class of aspiring unicorns. They are practicing levitation using soft foam balls. Most are barely getting auras on their horns.

‘Very good class.’ Dream encourages. ‘I know what would help.’

Dream goes to the center of the class.

‘Okay. Pretend that I am a dragon and that you have a rock in front of you. The only way to defeat me is to use your magic to throw your rock at me.’

The unicorns try focusing on lifting the foam balls. Dream laughs. He uses his magic to create an illusory dragon roar. All of the kids scream and their foam balls pelt Dream.

After school, The Wandering Physicist and Lucas are working at The Power Block for a couple hours. Lucas is extremely tired. The Wandering Physicist is happily chatting with a young colt as his parent waits outside.

‘Bye Mr Wanderer!’ The colt waves. ‘See you in class tomorrow.’

The Wandering Physicist waves to the colt and the parent.

‘I think I am starting to get the hang of this.’ The Wandering Physicist says. ‘You just talk until they fall asleep and if they give you any lip, you threaten the existence of their entire family. It is just like parenting Rei.’

‘Glad somepony likes doing this,’ Lucas moans. ‘I know I am only five years removed from that grade, but I couldn’t have been that bad.’

‘You have the magic classes, right?’

‘Yeah. I am trying all of the tricks my mentor in Hoofington taught me, but those kids just... I should write him for some advice.’ Lucas sighs and stares off wistfully. ‘I had such a great mentor.’

‘Now, you have an awesome one!’

Lucas looks at his boss, turns away, sighs and stares off wistfully. ‘I had such a great mentor.’

The Wandering Physicist growls. ‘I hope you get better at teaching. You’re going to need to find a new job soon with that attitude.’

Lucas stops to think. ‘I wonder if the professor would still want me as an assistant...’

The Wandering Physicist hugs Lucas. ‘It is not your fault.’

Lucas starts tearing up then runs out of the store crying.

‘Such a good movie.’

In Canterlot, Luna is trying to go about her royal business, but there is a small impediment to her actions. In fact, it is a large impediment. Her older, and therefore larger, sister has been wrapped around her neck in a hug for the past several hours. The show of affection is starting to wear thin.

‘Sister,’ Luna sighs. ‘I appreciate the fact that you care for me this dearly. And I did appreciate you for apologizing for actions that offended me over the past thousand years. Again. But I must take care of the business at hoof. The country is not going to run itself.’

‘I’m sorry, Luna.’ Celestia backs off. ‘I have just been feeling a little emotional since this morning.’

‘Really. I hardly noticed.’ Luna sighs. ‘What happened to make you feel that way?’

Celestia looks embarrassed. ‘Well, I might have been keeping tabs on the Ponyville situation and...’

Luna facehoofs. ‘And James got to you, didn’t he?’

Celestia nods.

‘I warned you about spending too much time with him.’ Luna rolls her eyes. ‘I assume he won, given Lyra’s blog.’

Celestia nods again. ‘He was very... persuasive.’

Luna turns her nose up. ‘Just remember, he is mine.’ She starts trotting away. ‘No matter what your student says.’

The next day, The Wandering Physicist is going over homework questions. He is clarifying points and has written some equations on the board. There are still lots of forelegs raised when he sets down his chalk.

‘That is all the time we are spending on questions for today,’ he says. ‘We’ll go over it more tomorrow, but remember, I will not give you the answers. That is why you have the whole week to finish.’

The class moans.

‘So we’re going to cover some new material today.’

The class moans again.

‘The last new material you covered was all lies,’ Diamond Tiara sneers. ‘My daddy said so.’

‘Well, your dad sell goods he bought for half their sell price since he imports them from other countries that don’t have as strict foal labor laws as Equestria. I’d tell you to ask him to show you the factories some time but if you’re half the joy at home as you are in class, he might want to leave you there.’

Diamond Tiara looks like she is about to scream.

‘Now that our aside is over, who here likes hoofball?’

A number of the students cheer and raise their forelegs.

‘Hold on, you might know it as soccer. You know, real hoofball.’

Most of the legs go down, but Scootaloo’s starts getting waved vigorously.

‘Well, at least we have a few fans.’ The Wandering Physicist pulls a large sack of hoofballs from under the desk. ‘For our PE exercise today, we’ll be going over the basics of hoofball and hopefully get a mock game in while we’re at it. To the pitch!’

The class starts filing out of the classroom to the fields outside. Scootaloo brags about how good she is at the sport. Outside, they find the field marked like a hoofball pitch. The Wandering Fullback drops the sack and looks over the class.

‘Okay... We have a bit more than is needed for two teams. This could work.’ He thinks for a bit. ‘Okay. Scootaloo, you are one captain. Apple Bloom, you are the other.’

The two friends start complaining. A stern look silences them.

‘From what I can tell, you are the best athletes in class. It would be unfair to have you on the same team. Besides, you two can compete to get a striker cutie mark.’

‘I totally want one of those!’ Scootaloo cheers.

‘If it’s like an apple bucking cutie mark, it’s as good as mine!’ Apple Bloom counters.

‘Great. Now, let’s get to picking teams.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to an odd number of students, the last student is being fought over. Unfortunately for the captains, the last student is Diamond Tiara. Unfortunately for Diamond Tiara, they are not fighting in the conventional manner. Being picked last is insulting enough but having nopony who wants to play with her is depressing.

‘No! You take her!’ Scootaloo shouts.

‘Applejack says it is important to share, so I am sharing her with you!’ Apple Bloom shouts back.

A whistle is blown. The Wandering Referee steps between the fighting fillies.

‘Okay. That is enough. Apple Bloom picked last so Diamond Tiara is on Scootaloo’s team.’

Scootaloo moans as Diamond Tiara picks herself up and joins her team.

‘Your stupid tiara powers better mean you’re good at soccer.’ Scootaloo growls.

Diamond Tiara puts her air of superiority back on. ‘Hmpf! It just means I am better than you in every way.’

‘Ugh. Just because you are a spoiled brat, doesn’t mean you are better at kicking a ball. Why don’t you just use your money and hire Buckham to play for you?’

‘Hmpf. I’ll show you that I am better than you.’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yeah!’

A whistle blows as a football drops between the currently fighting pair. The Wandering Physicist steps to the front of the class.

‘Okay! Since most of you haven’t played before, we’ll spend some time going over the basic rules and practice some ball handling.’ He pauses and looks around. ‘Okay. Good. None of you get that... yet.’ He starts kicking a ball around. ‘Hoofball was created by earth ponies, so the main rule is no wings and no magic. I guess at your age and skill levels, that shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Another important rule is not using your tail. That one is tougher to do, which is why it is less frowned upon for lower skill levels. After some practice, we’ll get into more rules but for now, let’s just do some basic passing and kicking drills. I see everypony has a partner, so let’s get started!’

The Wandering Physicist blows his whistle and trots off while kicking the ball. It gets away from him, and he gallops after it.

‘Oh crap.’

The students shrug and start kicking their balls between each other. Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara turn and glare at each other. Scootaloo takes the ball and starts dribbling it between her legs.

‘Hopefully, you don’t suck at this part. It is really easy.’

Scootaloo kicks the ball up with her hind legs, slides it up her back and headers it at Diamond Tiara. The other filly screams and tries ducking as the ball hits her in the side.

‘Hey! Be careful. You could have hurt me.’

‘Pfft. That was a normal pass. You have to get used to those. Now pass it back.’

Diamond Tiara growls. She takes aim and bucks the ball as hard as she can. The ball barely rolls a meter in front of her. Scootaloo facehoofs.

‘Can this get any worse?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The great match between Team Scootaloo and Team Apple Bloom is full swing. The team captains are going all out for their striker cutie mark. The rest of the class is having fun running around. Apple Bloom currently has the ball and is rushing up the field. Scootaloo tries a slide tackle, but the ball is passed to Ruby Pinch. Ruby takes the ball further upfield and charges right for the team’s weakest defender, Diamond Tiara. She steels herself and gets ready to finally block a forward’s attack. Ruby stumbles a bit in her attack, giving Diamond Tiara a chance to take the ball. She runs forward and slips in the mud, landing face first in the offending goo. Ruby is able to recover the ball. She kicks, Dinky dives, and the ball enters the net. The whistle is blown, and the class starts setting up for the next round. The friends on both teams congratulate each other on the play.

‘Good shot, Ruby,’ Dinky congratulates.

‘Thanks, Dinky!’ Ruby stops to help Diamond Tiara up. ‘Good try. You almost had me.’

The muddy filly wipes the muck from her face. ‘Whatever.’

‘Nice try, Scootaloo.’ Apple Bloom pats her friend’s back.

‘Yeah!’ Sweetie Belle cheers. ‘You might really get a soccer cutie mark!’

Scootaloo just grumbles and stomps over to Diamond Tiara.

‘What the heck was that? Are you trying to lose?’ Scootaloo growls.

‘I am doing my best.’ Diamond Tiara huffs.

‘Your best is what you are covered in!’

A ball of mud hits Scootaloo in the face. Diamond Tiara laughs at her handiwork. Scootaloo is less amused, and she bumps the offending earth pony. Before Diamond Tiara can retaliate, the whistle blows, and The Wandering Referee holds the fillies apart.

‘Okay. That is enough.’ The fillies keep struggling. ‘That is enough!’ The fillies settle down. ‘You’re both in trouble for fighting. You’re going to sit out for the rest of the game, and, uh... I guess I’ll have to contact your parents or something.’ He shudders. ‘That will be fun.’

The whistle blows again and play resumes. The two punished fillies sit off to the side. They glare at each other one last time before turning away.

Marvel greets his class as they enter. He collects a handout from some of the students. Once the class is all present, he looks over the handouts.

‘Hmm. Still a bit light.’ He sets them down. ‘Try to get them to me or my wife soon if you want a say in who we can get for an assembly. The sooner we get votes in, the sooner we get one or maybe two comic industry speakers.’

The class murmurs as Marvel starts drawing on the board.

‘Okay. Today we are going to be talking about what I used to do when I worked on comics.’ He finishes his drawing with a flourish and taps it. ‘I, as you can read, was an inker.’

‘Isn’t that just a glorified tracer?’ A colt jibes.

‘Most ponies think that, but we really define the structure, flow and overall style of the comic. Not only that, if you work with many different pencilers, then you have to match their different art styles. It is an awesome responsibility and leaves you feeling really gratified when you have done a good job.’

‘So... You’re a tracer.’

Marvel glares at the colt. ‘That’s detention.’

At the library, The Wandering Physicist is trying to get some comfort after a long day. He lays on Twilight’s bed while she is at her desk working.

‘It was so horrible.’ The Wandering Physicist moans. ‘How can I be the one in trouble for their kids fighting?’

Twilight is too engrossed. ‘Uh huh.’

‘I mean, Scootaloo is normally fine, but she has this uncontrollable and obsessive streak in her sometimes. That doesn’t mean I am an evil, communist, atheist that shouldn’t be allowed near children. She just needs to have the proper encouragement.’

Twilight lifts a document in front of her. ‘Yep.’

‘Then Diamond Tiara is just a spoiled brat and a bit of a bully. I am just standing up to her as a good example to the kids. I can see that she is starting have better social habits. That doesn’t make me an anti-social, anti-business, leftist who has no business in the classroom.’

Twilight starts filling out the document. ‘Right.’

‘And how dare they say everything I taught their kids are a lie! I am just enlightening their minds to the truth for the first time in their lives.’ He slams a hoof into the bed. ‘I don’t care what they or Celestia say or do. I am going to teach that class how I want and they won’t be able to stop me!’

Twilight goes back to her books. ‘That is good. You know I support... Princess Celestia!?’ She snaps around. ‘What did you do this time?’

‘Well, we were playing hoofball today, and Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara started picking fights with each other. I had to call their parents in and explain the situation. Fiscal conservatives are just as bad as religious conservatives. Let that be a lesson to write your princess about.’

‘I meant, what did you do to upset the princess?’ Twilight grumbles.

‘Is that book about Krastos?’

‘What does that have to do with anything?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘So she is still covering that up. I’ll have to have another history class tomorrow...’

‘Was your class the other day more propaganda?’ Twilight growls.

‘When you are a foal, what was the one gift you wanted most?’

‘I don’t see how that matters.’

The Wandering Physicist gives Twilight crafty look. ‘It will clue you to my methods. Besides, why wouldn’t I want to know everything about somepony I love?’

Twilight blushes a little. ‘Okay. It was my Smarty Pants doll. My parents could never find one in any of the stores, but somehow one just appeared one day...’ She gets it. She looks up with her eyes narrowed. ‘You didn’t.’

The Smug Physicist grins. ‘Time machines are great for more than history lessons, and you’re welcome, although I don’t approve of your last adventure with her.’

Twilight growls. ‘I hate you so much right now.’

The Happy Physicist rolls off the bed. ‘Well, I am feeling better.’ He trots over and kisses Twilight on the cheek. ‘How about some dinner? My treat?’

The next morning, Kaeko is heading to her class a little later than she would like. Being one of the few pegasi recruited to help out with the students has really taxed her weaker talents. The fact that the students are constantly trying to test their substitute teacher only adds to the stress. She nods to Lucas as he arrives on campus before she heads to the flying fields behind the school.

Something is obviously wrong when she arrives. All of her class is early and in their athletic gear. Shaking off her initial shock, she starts examining her class for potential pranks.

‘Good morning, Umaku-sensei!’ The class cheers all at once. They all have large smiles on their faces.

Kaeko gives the class a thorough examination before turning around and walking away.

‘Looks like rain today.’ Kaeko comments. ‘We are having class inside.’

The class moans as Kaeko leads them to the nearby gymnasium. She calmly opens the doors then screams as loud as she can as a wall of basketballs topple on top of her. The class laughs wildly at their prank. Kaeko shudders as she picks herself up.

‘One hundred laps around the town...’ She growls.

The class moans and dawdles a little. Kaeko leans under her left wing and turns around, drawing a two-meter long katana in her mouth.

‘NOW!’

The class screams, and they all take flight as fast as they can.

A flock of young teen pegasi fly past the schoolhouse as The Wandering Physicist finishes his pre-class prep by messing with an odd closet that has magically appeared in the back of the classroom. The class engages in their usual morning banter. Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara are surprisingly silent as they look daggers at each other from across the room.

‘Oooookay!’ The Wandering Physicist says as he starts heading to the front of the class. ‘The sooner we get started, the sooner we get to recess, the sooner we get to the special guest speaker I have arranged, and the sooner we can end class and maybe go home early. Who’s in?’

All but two of the class cheer.

‘Great! So who has out first homework question?’

‘Cheerilee!’ Ruby cries from the back of the class.

Everypony looks over to see Cheerilee standing at the classroom doors. The magenta mare does not look herself, but she is still able to smile and wave to the class. The Wandering Physicist goes over to the teacher and puts a hoof on her shoulder.

‘Oh, thank Sagan you are back,’ He sighs.

Cheerilee shakes her head and points to her throat. The spots indicative of poison joke affliction are present.

‘Damn. Still can’t talk.’ He turns to the class. ‘Sorry. False alarm.’

The class moans. Cheerilee leans close and whispers as loud as she can in The Wandering Physicist’s ear.

‘Well, I have had some disruptions and bad starts, but I think we have been doing well so far. Have we had fun, class?’

The majority of the class cheers. Cheerilee whispers again.

‘Yeah... We had some discipline problems that got out of hand, but we’re all good now. … I think.’

Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara look at each other, snort, then look away.

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘All good...’

Cheerilee whispers.

‘Sure. We were about to do homework questions, then recess, followed by a guest speaker for our history lesson for the day. Just take a seat anywhere you want.’

Cheerilee gives a slight smile and finds a place to sit.

‘Okay. So we’re getting another special guest today. Miss Cheerilee is going to be sitting in for the day since she heard that some parents -- three guesses which ones -- had some complaints. Unfortunately, she can’t talk right now, so please show her extra courtesy.’ The Wandering Physicist goes to the board. ‘Now. Homework questions.’

A group of teachers at the high school are having lunch together and sharing stories. Suddenly, the door to the lounge is flung open, and Rip marches in. He looks upset.

‘All right! Which one of you wankers told them my real name!’

None of the others respond. Rip growls and finds a place to sit.

‘It is hard enough havin’ to deal with a bunch of foals with no musical talent, but now I have them teasin’ me ‘cause of my name and tryin’ to find out what my real colors are.’

‘Maybe if you didn’t try hiding that you are from upper class Los Arion, this wouldn’t be a problem,’ DC suggests.

‘Also, try not using that horrible fake accent.’ Coal mentions from behind his book.

‘What? I mean... Bugger.’ Rip drops the accent. ‘Anyway, I am not upper class.’

‘Upper middle. Whatever.’ DC rolls her eyes.

‘Be nice to him, DC,’ Marvel says. ‘You don’t want his dye job to run.’

Rip snarls. ‘You just love this so much.’

The others in the room giggle about teasing their friend. Ruby Dart looks up from her laptop.

‘You’ll never believe who’s birth certificate I just found.’

All the others gather around the computer. Coal rolls his eyes and goes back to his seat. The Crystals start laughing.

‘Lies! All lies!’ Rip shouts.

‘I’ll say.’ Lyra comments. ‘It has your colors all wrong.’ She points to the screen. ‘It should be yellow mane and orange coat. Birth weight is half a kilo too high, and birth height is off by three centimeters.’

Everypony stares at Lyra in shock.

‘Uh... FOIA!’ Lyra shouts before returning to her lunch.

Marvel moans and returns to his seat. ‘If it wasn’t for your weird hobbies, I am sure the EIA would love to have you.’

‘Please,’ Lyra scoffs. ‘The things I know could bring down the EIA in ten seconds flat.’

‘Right. And the principal wasn’t chewing you out for going off topic the other day,’ Coal jibes.

‘What about your class, Coal?’ DC asks. ‘I looked in, and you were just reading and the class was all playing games and texting.’

‘I gave them the syllabus with their assignment,’ Coal turns a page. ‘There is a reminder on the board too. As long as they don’t disturb me, the due date remains stable, and Droll doesn’t do anything stupid.’

‘Speaking of the imp, where is he?’ Marvel asks.

‘He said he was getting some lunch.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the cafeteria, Droll ‘sneaks’ around one end of the room. He is carrying an unmarked bag and cackles to himself. He finds a good place to stop, sets down the bag, and pulls out a cupcake. He holds it high above his head.

‘FOOD FIGHT!’

He throws cupcake as far as he can. It lands harmlessly in the middle of the cafeteria. All of the students look at Droll disapprovingly. Droll grumbles then screams as a giant onigiri flies out of the sky and crushes him.

‘Huzzah!’ Rei cheers. ‘How many points do I receive?’

Rei looks around smiling as she flies about her lunch. The rest of the students grumble and go back to their lunches. Rei frowns and lands back by Stormy and Image.

After school, The Wandering Physicist and Cheerilee are cleaning up the schoolhouse. Both are working at opposite ends of the schoolhouse.

‘That is an interesting song you are humming,’ The Wandering Physicist comments.

Cheerilee is surprised. ‘You can hear me?’ She whispers.

‘Yep. No problem.’

‘Then you heard...’

‘You know you weren’t the only one who thought he wasn’t the real Star Swirl.’

‘You just got somepony to wear Twilight’s old costume.’

‘I can hear you from across the room while you are afflicted. You didn’t even question where the mysterious new cupboard came from.’

‘I didn’t even notice that...’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Don’t worry about it. Just something to help with teaching.’

‘Speaking of which, I was very surprised with how you ran the class today.’

‘Is that a good thing or a bad thing?’

‘Well, after hearing from Mr Rich, I was under the impression that all you did was make up stories and play favorites with the students. I was nicely surprised.’

‘Thank you. I guess. You will find my facts check out. You know Star Swirl has my back.’

Cheerilee rolls her eyes and goes back to cleaning.

‘So what did Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara have to say about me?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘What?’

‘I saw them talking to you at recess. I hope I didn’t come off as too bad.’

Cheerilee thinks. ‘Honestly, they were nicer to you than their parents. They mostly complained about the other, so it wasn’t really something I hadn’t heard before.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Getting them to behave is harder than facing a legion of Daleks.’

‘What?’

‘Never mind. Just something.’ He goes over to the TARDIS and taps the door. ‘See you at home, okay?’

‘What was that?’

‘Nothing. Just being weird.’

The pair exit the schoolhouse, and The Wandering Physicist sonics the door locked.

‘Um... Mr Wanderer. I am sorry.’

‘What for?’

‘I misjudged you in our earlier encounters. I see now that you are a fine pony.’

‘No big. I did say that I would love to make it up to you anyway.’

‘I’m sorry. May I treat you and Rei to dinner to make up for it and to thank you for the good job you are doing with my students?’

‘Sounds fun.’ He pauses. ‘Just don’t turn around.’

Cheerilee turns. She lets out a barely audible scream at the white filly flying beside her.

‘Hi!’ Rei chirps. ‘Will there be zerts and apps?’

‘Zerts are what I call desserts,’ Rei explains. ‘Tray-trays are entrees. I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool blasterz, with a z. I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big ol' cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fri-fri chicky-chick. Chicken parm is chicky chicky parm parm. Chicken cacciatore? Chicky catch. I call eggs pre-birds, or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks...food rakes.’

‘Rei. Who the hell are you talking to?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

Rei looks around. The only ponies around are The Wandering Physicist and Cheerilee behind her. She gives an embarrassed giggle and joins the others to go to dinner. A flock of teenaged pegasi pass overhead.

The time has finally come. The rotation of poison joke treatments has come around to the teachers and Elements of Harmony. Twilight is currently gathering her friends so they can all go together. She is at Sugarcube Corner trying to get Pinkie.

‘Pinkie! Come down! It is time for us to get cured!’ Twilight yells up to Pinkie’s room.

A lot of spitting, a cake and half an accordion are thrown down stairs at Twilight.

‘Sheesh.’ Twilight grumbles. ‘Is there anyway to cheer her up?’

Twilight yells and quickly rushes to catch a pair of flour covered toddlers.

‘Pinkie! That was dangerous! You could have hurt somepony!’

Twilight takes Pound and Pumpkin back to their room. While Twilight is away, the bell at the front of the shop rings as somepony enters.

‘Hello? Anypony here?’ a voice calls into the shop.

Twilight comes out of the toddlers’ room and heads downstairs again.

‘Of all of the days for the Cakes to be out...’ Twilight grumbles. ‘Why did I schedule food vendors to go early?’ She gets downstairs. ‘What!’

Nopony is seen in the shop, but there is a grey tail sticking up from behind the counter.

‘Oh. Sorry. Hello?’

Inkie looks up from behind the counter. ‘Sorry for startling you. I didn’t know you were here. I was looking for Pinkie.’

‘So am I.’ Twilight mumbles. ‘Anyway, what brings you by Inkie?’

‘The family heard that Pinkie was feeling down, and I volunteered to come by and see her... and Rei too.’

Twilight sighs. ‘Best of luck. She’s being very stubborn. Only Mr Wanderer has been able to see her this whole week.’

Inkie sighs. ‘She can be stubborn when she is grey. No worries! We know how to deal with her! I’ll get her out in proper time!’

‘Great. Just get her to the spa for treatment as soon as possible.’

‘Oh! Right!’

Inkie digs in her pack for a moment. She pulls out a small flask and pours a small draught.

‘Here!’ Inkie smiles.

Twilight eyes the brew suspiciously. ‘What is this?’

‘Well, when I was here last, I noticed poison joke growing in the forest. I picked some on our way out so I could make my version of the cure. It is not as effective as the the real treatment, but it can alleviate the affliction for a short time.’

Twilight analyzes the brew a little longer. She shrugs and drinks it down. She jumps in the air and all of her limbs stick out. She crashes to the ground in a heap.

‘What happened?’ Twilight rubs her head and notices her horn is back to normal. ‘What the!’

Inkie smiles. ‘It should be okay to use some magic, but you are still looking a bit spotty.’

Twilight thinks for a moment. ‘Can you take care of your sister and,’ -- she pulls a clipboard from her bag -- ‘my checklist? There is something I want to do.’

‘I guess...’ Inkie looks nervous.

‘Great! Thank you! Bye!’ Twilight yells as she flies out the door.

At the schoolhouse, the mysterious cabinet is back. The class is excited about the return of Cheerilee the next day. To send The Wandering Physicist off, they have made a farewell card for him. He is currently looking it over.

‘This was very nice of you.’ He sets it down. ‘I have something special for you too. Now, what subjects have we covered?’

‘Relativity!’ Dinky cheers.

‘Hoofball!’ Pipsqueak adds. Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara scowl at each other.

‘Star Swirl!’ Ruby throws out.

‘The economic inequality between the nobles and us regular ponies,’ Apple Bloom contributes.

‘Right! So I think this calls for a special last lesson. Something everypony will like.’ He pauses for dramatic effect. ‘A field trip!’

The class is confused.

‘Don’t we need permission slips for a field trip?’ Sweetie Belle asks.

‘Yeah. And if those three are going, don’t we need to warn the national guard?’ Silver Spoon quips.

‘Don’t worry,’ The Wandering Physicist assures. ‘Where we are going is perfectly safe... I think.’

The class starts murmuring.

‘But, before we head out, I want to go over a few rules for the trip.’ He starts handing out a form. ‘You are each going to be assigned a partner. As a team, you will find something interesting and write a report that you will present to Cheerilee tomorrow.’ He gets out his mobile. ‘Now, I tried to match you up with a partner that won’t distract you too much and will encourage you to make new friendships.’

The class moans.

‘Hey! I have it on good authority that friendship is magic.’

The class groans at the comment.

The Wandering Physicist snorts. ‘Anyway. First group is Apple Bloom and Pipsqueak.’ The young ponies make eye contact and nod. Dinky looks a little upset. ‘Next is Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara.’

‘What!’ Diamond Tiara shrieks.

‘That is bullsh...’

‘Language, young lady!’ The Wandering Physicist snaps. ‘I don’t want to have to call your father. Seriously. I don’t. He’s creepy.’

Scootaloo sits and crosses her forelegs.

The Wandering Physicist sighs and shakes his head. ‘Next is Noi and...’
....

‘And so that wraps up group assignments. Remember: the buddy system saves lives.’

The class groans at the life lesson. The Wandering Physicist goes over to the the TARDIS and opens the doors. On the other side is a wide plain.

‘Okay. Gather your packs and your buddies. Once you pass through this door, you should see a large rock. Gather around it and we will go over your assignment again as well as a few more points. Ready? Let’s go!’

The class cheer and start heading through the TARDIS doors. The schoolhouse door opens and Twilight enters. She is shocked to see the young ponies heading through the portal.

‘What is going on here!’

‘Just a little field trip,’ The Wandering Physicist explains. ‘Nothing to worry about.’

‘A field trip? Where to? Why use... that?’

‘We’re seeing a nice, peaceful, mostly harmless, calm, likely-probably uninhabited, definitely-maybe-sorta safe planet.’

‘And you think it is a good idea to bring a group of children there?’

‘We’re using the buddy system.’

‘The buddy system? Really?’ Twilight is incredulous.

‘You didn’t see who my buddy is,’ He hold up his mobile.

Twilight rolls her eyes and checks the mobile. She smiles and blushes. She sees ‘TWP and Twilight’ on the list.

‘I hate you so much right now.’

‘Your horn is less floppy, but it still looks a little spotty,’ The Wandering Physicist comments, staring at Twilight’s horn.

Twilight growls. ‘Come on. We’re missing precious adventure time.’

The class is having fun running around and exploring the alien planet. Twilight examines every little thing she finds and collecting samples for later study. The Wandering Physicist explains all the flora and fauna that the students and Twilight bring to him. After lunch back at the disguised TARDIS, the class splits up for more exploring.

Twilight flies off with a notepad ready. ‘I must catalogue everything!’

‘Buddy system!’

‘Then hurry up!’ Twilight shouts back.

The Wandering Physicist turns to the class. ‘Class. Only two more hours then we head back. If you haven’t collected the item for your report yet, you have to hurry.’ He watches Twilight leaving. ‘Speaking of hurry...’

The Wandering Physicist gallops after Twilight. The class starts milling about.

‘Come on!’ Apple Bloom cheers. ‘We’ll show ya the rainbow waterfall we found earlier.’

‘It is super amazing!’ Pipsqueak adds.

A number of groups follow the pair. Diamond Tiara starts leaving too.

‘Where are you going?’ Scootaloo shoots.

‘I want to see the waterfall,’ Diamond Tiara replies. ‘It sounds fun.’

‘No way. We were doing things you wanted to do all morning. I want to see the forest!’

Diamond Tiara stands her ground. ‘I want to see the waterfall!’

Scootaloo butts her head against Diamond Tiara’s. ‘We are seeing the forest.’

The two fillies growl and glare into the other’s eyes. Diamond Tiara snorts.

‘Fine. We’ll see the stupid forest.’

Scootaloo laughs. ‘Good. Come on.’

Scootaloo runs off leaving the other filly to catch up.
…

Scootaloo leads Diamond Tiara deep into the forest. They travel slowly due to the thick growth and Diamond Tiara’s unwillingness to get messy. Scootaloo climbs ahead and stops on a stump.

‘Will you hurry up? I want to see more before we head back.’

‘What for?’ Diamond Tiara grumbles. ‘It is just a bunch of trees.’

‘And a waterfall is just a bunch of water.’

‘It was rainbow! I thought you were attracted to rainbow things.’

‘What is that supposed to mean?’ Scootaloo glares.

Diamond Tiara laughs. ‘I’ve seen the way you look at her.’ Mockingly, ‘Oh Rainbow Dash. I love you so much. I wish you were my big sister,’ she smirks, ‘or even something more.’ She laughs again. ‘I am surprised you haven’t practiced kissing with your stupid little club.’

Scootaloo leaps from the stump and tackles Diamond Tiara. She pushes the earth pony in the mud before letting up.

‘Make fun of me all you want but never make fun of my friends!’ Scootaloo cries. ‘If you had any true friends, you would know not to do that!’

Diamond Tiara wipes the mud from her face. ‘I have friends! I have more friends than you ever will!’

‘Oh yeah? Then how come nopony likes you? Or do they just like your money?’

‘You don’t know anything about me.’ Diamond Tiara looks away. ‘You just think I am some rich snob.’

Scootaloo frowns. ‘You just think I am some sort of blank flank brute.’

Both ponies look down and kick the mud a bit.

‘I-I like the stunts you do on your scooter,’ Diamond Tiara mumbles.

‘Thanks. I wish my mane was as nice as yours,’ Scootaloo replies.

The fillies smile at each other and pick themselves up.

‘Let’s get back before anypony think we are lost,’ Scootaloo suggests.

‘About time,’ Diamond Tiara sighs.

The fillies start making their way back to the meeting area. After a bit of trekking, Diamond Tiara slips on a log and lands hard on the ground.

‘Are you okay?’

Diamond Tiara rubs her rear. ‘Yeah. I think that log moved under me.’

‘What log?’

The fillies look. Where there was a log, there is no log.

‘Uh.’

‘Oh.’

A large reptilian beast turns and roars at the fillies. They scream and run as fast as they can. Diamond Tiara runs under the beast while Scootaloo is able to fly over it. They aim for the direction they came with the beast snapping at their tails.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wandering Physicist has gotten Twilight to come back to the TARDIS early so they can keep track of the returning students and send them home early. Two of the three Cutie Mark Crusaders and their buddies are waiting for Scootaloo. Twilight is going through her pack of samples and making notes about everything.

‘This is going to make a great report to Celestia. I bet she has never seen anything from an alien world.’

‘You’d be surprised.’

Twilight sighs. ‘Not more of that secret history stuff again.’

‘It is not a secret to anypony,’ Sweetie Belle corrects.

‘Yeah. We had a whole lecture about it two days ago,’ Apple Bloom adds.

‘Remember: more information can be found online or at your local library,’ The Wandering Professor teaches.

Twilight growls. ‘I hate you so much right now.’

Snails and Ruby Pinch come galloping up.

‘Mr Wanderer! Miss Twilight! I think something bad happened!’ Ruby cries.

‘What is it?’ The Concerned Physicist asks.

‘We heard a scream in the forest, eh,’ Snails explains. ‘I think it was Diamond Tiara.’

‘Who was her partner?’ Twilight asks.

‘Scootaloo,’ The Wandering Physicist replies.

‘Don’t they know it is unsafe to go into a strange forest?’

‘Buddy system!’

Twilight rolls her eyes. ‘Come on. Let’s go check this out.’

The Wandering Physicist turns to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. ‘Stay here or I am telling your sisters why Winona really was green last weekend.’

‘I thought we were good pet groomers,’ Sweetie Belle sulks.

The Wandering Physicist growls and the CMC salute. The policing done, the two adults gallop away to investigate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scootaloo is leading Diamond Tiara out of the forest, helping her partner over some of the obstacles in their path as they make their escape. She tried carrying Diamond Tiara, but the strain was too much on her young wings. The beast is slow, but it is also heavy, and the ground quakes with every step, slowing the ponies’ progress.

‘Come on! If we get to the clearing, Mr Wanderer or Twilight can help us.’

Diamond Tiara is crying. ‘I am sorry for slowing you down!’

‘Shut up! I’ve seen worse! We’ll make it!’

The beast slams into a tree. The fillies scream as the tree falls between them, halting their progress. The beast advances on Scootaloo. She has not felt this scared since Twilight offered her the Smarty Pants doll. Suddenly, there is a yell and Diamond Tiara leaps from the fallen tree and headbutts the beast.

‘Stay away from my friend!’

The beast just hits Diamond Tiara with the back of its claw, sending the filly flying into the tree, knocking her unconscious. The beast returns its attention to Scootaloo. Suddenly, an odd buzzing fills the air.

The Wandering Wizard leaps out of nowhere. ‘Expelliarmus!’ He waves his sonic around wildly.

The beast is repulsed a bit by the sonic.

‘All yours, Twilight!’

‘On it!’

Twilight charges a spell, but her horn flops over as Inkie’s treatment wears off.

‘Oh no.’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘I didn’t want to do this...’ He raises his sonic into the air. ‘PLASMA BUSTER! Lite this time!’

The beast rears up to strike the adult pony. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning shoots through the forest. The beast goes flying back several hundred meters as Rei drop kicks it with the power of lightning.

‘It’s been revoked!’ Rei taunts.

The adults tend to the young fillies while Rei starts doing a victory dance. Scootaloo gives a small cry when she sees that Diamond Tiara is not moving. The Wandering Physicist lifts the injured filly to Twilight’s back.

The Wandering Physicist gives Rei a hug, interrupting the dance. ‘It is not your fault.’

‘What?’ Rei is confused. ‘Duh. Whatever, weirdo.’

Rei marches away.

‘Damn.’ The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘Still a good movie.’

Diamond Tiara awakes back at the Ponyville schoolhouse. Her father is standing over her. The Wandering Physicist and Twilight are standing to the side. Diamond Tiara moans and rubs her head.

‘What happened?’

‘You fell off the jungle gym and hit your head,’ The Wandering Physicist replies, winking at the lie.

Diamond moans. ‘Right.’

‘We lost your tiara but if I can’t find it, I’ll replace it.’

‘It is okay,’ Filthy Rich replies. ‘My daughter is okay, and that is most important.’

Filthy Rich helps Diamond Tiara up, and they leave the schoolhouse. Once they are gone, Twilight smacks The Wandering Physicist in the back of the head.

‘You said it was safe!’

‘No I didn’t and you know that.’

Twilight growls. The Wandering Physicist smiles. The couple laughs and exits the schoolhouse. Inkie comes running up with Twilight’s clipboard in her mouth.

‘Here!’ Inkie pants. ‘I got all of the ponies on the list to the spa on time and all of your friends are waiting for you. I even got Pinkie to cheer up enough to come out. Her hair returned to normal when she saw all of your friends again and how much they missed her.’

‘Thank you, Inkie!’ Twilight cheers. ‘You are a great help today.’

‘Can I rest now?’ Inkie asks.

‘Sure,’ The Wandering Physicist replies. ‘I have some stuff to take back to the library for Twilight, but that doesn’t mean you can’t catch up with your sister.’

‘Iiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnkkkkkkiiiiiieeeeeee!!!!!!’ Rei shoots from the sky and tackles Inkie across the schoolyard.

‘And her too.’

Rei breathes deep. ‘You smell like mint parfait.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs and picks up Twilight’s pack. ‘I’ll take the alien samples back to your spare room so you can examine them.’

‘Alien samples?’ Inkie asks.

‘Thanks. I’ll get to studying them later.’

‘I want to study them.’ Inkie starts looking between The Wandering Physicist to Twilight.

‘Let’s go to the spa and catch up, Inkie-chan!’

‘No! I want to study!’ Inkie cries.

The Wandering Physicist trots off with Twilight’s pack. Twilight trots away followed by Rei carrying a struggling Inkie.

Twilight and Pinkie are parting with their friends. Rei and Inkie are still with them.

‘Feels great to feel normal again,’ Twilight sighs.

‘Yeah.... I guess,’ Pinkie moans.

Twilight puts a foreleg around Pinkie. ‘Cheer up. Everypony forgives you.’

‘And you’re cute too!’ Rei cheers.

‘I can stick around too.’ Inkie adds. ‘I don’t want my big sister to be unhappy.’

‘Aw! Thanks guys. I have the best friends ever.’

The groups starts walking away.

‘You know,’ Twilight ponders, ‘I got a lot of samples on my trip with Mr Wanderer today. Inkie...’

‘YES!’ Inkie cheers. ‘I would love to help you with them! No matter how long it takes!’

‘Great! You can stay in my spare room while you help me.’ Twilight claps her hooves. ‘This will be fun having a research assistant!’

‘Yay! Inkie is staying!’ Rei does a backflip.

‘Um... I would suggest... But after last time...’ Pinkie mumbles.

‘Pinkie. We completely trust you. Say it.’ Twilight sighs. ‘I think we need one after all we have been through.’

‘All right...’ Pinkie clears her throat and poses dramatically. ‘You know what this calls for? … A PARTY!’

Twilight, Rei and Inkie cheer and carry their friend back to the library.

Late at night, a small figure runs through Ponyville and stops in front of a well-appointed house. It extends small wings and flies up to a window. It taps the window, and Diamond Tiara answers.

‘Uh... hey?’ Scootaloo greets.

‘Hi... Are you okay?’

‘Yeah. I just told my dad I got hurt crusading again. Good excuse that covers almost everything.’

‘That is good.’

‘Hey... I, uh, found this back on the planet. I couldn’t give it to you earlier since Mr Wanderer booted us all out before your dad got there. I thought you would want it back.’

Scootaloo gets out a battered tiara and gives it to Diamond Tiara. She holds back tears for a moment before accepting the gift from her friend.

‘Thank you.’ Diamond Tiara does a small laugh. ‘I guess we have something interesting to report to Cheerilee in the morning.’

Scootaloo laughs. ‘Yeah. A big adventure.’ She rubs the back of her head and looks embarrassed. ‘Hey, uh, don’t tell anypony this but I really like you. I mean, really like you.’

Diamond Tiara blushes. She looks around nervously. ‘I really like you too.’

Scootaloo is shock and forgets to flap her wings for a moment before catching herself. Diamond Tiara laughs and gives Scootaloo a quick kiss before closing her window. Scootaloo flies away feeling pretty happy.

Author's Note

TWP timeline: First time he guest teaches for Cheerilee's class. First direct clash with Celestia (in his timeline).

Story timeline: First time Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara hook up.

Fun fact: A Rhinelander is a type of horse from the Austria-Germany area. Get the joke now?

Fun fact: The My Little Pony franchise was approximately 30 years old when this was written. To put it another way, it was about 30 years ago when humans and ponies had first contact.

Apple of His Eye

Main Characters: TWP, Rei, Stormy, Apple Bloom, Applejack
Cameos: The Doctor (11), Big Macintosh
Original Write Date: 01/20/2012

It is Parents Celebration Weekend in Equestria. Ponies across the country are arranging special treats or gifts. Many are even traveling to their hometowns. Being Ponyville born and bred, the Apple Family is sticking around Sweet Apple Acres for their celebration. The older members of the family are happily going about their usual business, but Apple Bloom is feeling really down. She is currently pouting at the kitchen table when Applejack comes in from doing her chores.

‘What’s eatin’ ya, sugar cube?’ Applejack asks.

‘What?’ Apple Bloom looks up. ‘Oh. It’s nothin’, big sis.’

‘Now, Ah know somethin’ is eatin’ ya. Ya know ya can tell me anythin’ that’s on yer mind.’

‘All right...’ Apple Bloom takes a deep breath. ‘Everypony is out with their parents fer the holiday, but we don’ have parents so Ah can’t celebrate like everypony. Why can’t we celebrate like everypony?’

Applejack is at a loss for words. She quickly tries to come up with an answer that will satisfy the young filly without upsetting her further.

‘Uh, well, uh... It ain't a big deal, sugar cube. The holiday isn’ jus’ ‘bout parents. It is ‘bout all sorts o’ families. We always celebrated with each other an’ Granny Smith. Ya don’ have t’ be jealous of anypony else. We love each other as much if not more than any other family. This is jus’ another thin’ that makes us special.’ Applejack pats her sister on the head. ‘Come on. Once we start celebratin’, y’ll feel better.’

Apple Bloom gets up. ‘Thanks. Ah guess.’

Apple Bloom heads out of the house. Applejack frowns because she could not cheer up her sister. Apple Bloom starts walking towards the town to try to find something to cheer herself up.

‘Ah’d rather have parents than be special.’

At The Power Block, a pair of parentless ponies are doing what they can to make it through the day. Stormy is visiting Rei since Rarity is out with her family, and he does not wish to be alone. Rei is moping upstairs while she and Stormy watch television. Thanks to The Wandering Physicist’s accidental revelation a few weeks ago, this holiday has put Rei in a real bind about what she thought her family life was really like. The unpleasant truths of her past are overpowering the current reality of a happy family life, leaving her really depressed and angry. Stormy groans and leans back on the couch, almost sitting like Lyra.

‘Why can’t they show anything but specials this time of the year?’ He sets down the remote. ‘Can’t we use that magic box thing to get shows from other planets?’

‘He won’t let us. I asked.’

‘Tch. We should steal it and find a way to save my mom. Then we’d have a cool parent to hang out with today.’

‘Whatever.’

Rei rolls off the couch and crashes to the ground. She makes no effort to pick herself up.

‘Man. You are acting worse than I normally do. This holiday really has you down.’

Rei rolls over and sticks her muzzle under the couch.

‘Seriously, I would have thought you would have been doing something crazy for your... What the hell is he in relation to you anyway?’

Rei lets out a long, low moan. ‘I don’t want to talk about it. ... Ack! When was the last time we vacuumed?’

‘At least you have a somewhat decent father figure,’ Stormy sighs. ‘The closest thing I have is in prison for trying to kill me then threatening the judge at his trial. ... Fathers are pure mules.’

‘Whatever.’

Stormy thinks. ‘You know. I survived that painful ointment treatment. I think I can take gelding without flinching.’

Rei tries sitting up, but she slams her head into the couch.

‘Ow! No, I mean, don’t do that. You would make a great father. You are a far better pony than either of our fathers. You don’t lie to us our whole lives or abandon us on alien planets. You... you...’

Rei starts crying and buries her head under the couch more. Stormy frowns and turns around to comfort his friend easier.

‘Hey. Come on. Cheer up,’ Stormy coos. ‘You know what will make you feel better? The Cakes are having a special today for the holiday. We can probably guilt them into giving us something for free.’

Rei stops crying and pulls her head free. ‘Can we also guilt some candy from Bon Bon too?’

‘Sure. We can pretend we were abandoned by our human parents to work Lyra up and Bon Bon will do anything to get rid of us.’

Rei giggles half-heartedly. ‘Sounds fun.’

The pegasus picks herself up and shakes the dust from her muzzle. She and Stormy head out the back of the store to avoid The Wandering Physicist in the main shop. They loop around the building to the main street as they make their way across town. Rei looks back and scowls back at the shop. Stormy pats his friend on the back, and they walk off together.

Not too far from the shop, the pair come across Apple Bloom coming up the road on her own. She is alone since Sweetie Belle is away and Scootaloo is with her family. She is looking as down as Rei is about the holiday.

‘Hey, squirt,’ Stormy greets. ‘How’s it?’

Apple Bloom looks up at the colt. She looks like she is about to cry.

‘So same as us, huh?’ Apple Bloom nods. ‘Well, stick with us. We’re going to get free food and bitch about our parents. It will be fun.’

Apple Bloom thinks for the moment. She looks down the block towards her original destination then back at Stormy and the despondent Rei. She turns and gives Rei a hug around one of her forelegs and gets a tearful hug in return. The trio trot away as Stormy leads the griping about the holiday.

Rei is back at home for dinner. It is unusually silent since Rei is still depressed about the holiday. Her day out with Stormy and Apple Bloom only put the three into worse moods. Rei is barely poking at her food and is only on her second helping. The Concerned Physicist has noticed this and is worried for his daughter.

‘Rei? Are you okay?’

Rei looks up then goes back to picking at her dinner.

‘Rei, you know you can talk to me about anything.’

Rei glares at her plate. ‘I hate you so much.’

‘What? I am sorry for whatever I did.’

‘You are sorry for all of the lies? All of the lies you have saying since the moment I got here?’

The Wandering Physicist is surprised. ‘What are you talking about?’

Rei grits her teeth and shakes. ‘I know.’

The Wandering Physicist is instantly worried. ‘Know what?’

‘I know you are my father. Or the other you. The one from my world. You and Luna. Lying my whole life.’

‘Rei, I’m...’

‘Shut up!’ A burst of electrical energy surrounds Rei.’ My whole life! Fourteen years! All of the years spent with Luna and the other you and their kids and now half a year with you! All of you knew I wanted parents and you lied to me! All of those years! Crying myself to sleep every night! You tortured me for no reason! I felt so miserable for so many years! There were times when I wished I had never been born!’ She stands from the table. ‘Now, I wish it was you who were dead.’

Rei gallops to her room and slams the door. The Wandering Physicist stares in shock as tears fall down his face.

The next morning, The Wandering Physicist is moping around The Power Block. He is watching the store from the counter as customers go about their business. He sees a pegasus filly look around nervously, pick up a game and ‘hide’ it under a wing. She starts milling about the store. The main entrance opens, and the new customer goes straight to the counter.

‘Hey, Applejack.’

Applejack stops in her tracks. The filly makes a ‘causal’ path for the door while she thinks the owner is distracted. The Wandering Physicist aims his sonic and sonics the game she had ‘hidden.’

Applejack is surprised. ‘Y’all used mah real name.’

‘So what brings you by?’

‘Wha? Oh. Sorry. Ah am still a little thrown by ya usin’ mah name.’

‘Yeah... Well, I have been a little down after a fight with Rei last night. She was mad at me because of the holiday.’

‘So Apple Bloom ain’t the only one... She said she had seen Rei, and they had talked. Ah figured she was the reason Apple Bloom was so upset.’

‘I didn’t know she saw Apple Bloom. I thought Rei spent all day with Stormy.’ The answer clicks in his head. ‘Stormy.’

‘Rarity’s assistant? What does he have to do with why our loved ones are upset?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘If I were Lyra, I would say I could count how many parents he likes on one hand.’

Applejack scowls. ‘Right.’ She sighs. ‘It is jus’ so hard bein’ a good role model when yer jus' a sister an’ everypony else has their parents t’ look up t’.’

‘I don’t think I have it any easier given my situation.’

‘Shoot. Yer more o’ a parent than Ah am. If Ah didn’ know better, Ah woulda thought ya were her dad from the start.’

‘Right... From the start...’

Both of the adults sigh.

‘Ah wish there were some way Ah could tell Apple Bloom it is okay.’

‘I can’t get to Rei without Stormy being an issue. If only we could get them all together at once and let them air their grievances and have an open dialogue with them.’

‘Ah wouldn’ mind talkin’ t’ Rei if ya don’ mind talkin’ to Apple Bloom. Heck, Ah’ll even supply the rope if we have t’ hogtie Stormy t’ get his attention.’

The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘I guess that is a plan. Let’s meet up at Sweet Apple Acres in an hour. ... I’ll talk with Stormy first. We’ll keep tying him up as a back up plan.’

The Wandering Physicist and Applejack brohoof and set off to round up the kids.

The Wandering Physicist and Applejack have gathered Rei, Stormy and Apple Bloom at the farm. The younger ponies are giving the adults angry glares, except Rei who is just laying on the ground and sulking. Neither side knows what to say first.

‘Can I go home?’ Rei glares. ‘My REAL home.’

‘Rei, you know that this is your home now,’ The Concerned Parent explains. ‘If I could have sent you home, I would have respected your wishes and taken you there myself.’

‘Whatever,’ Rei kicks the dirt in front of her muzzle.

‘Tch.’ Stormy snorts. ‘You would have just gotten rid of her like her parents did. You’re as bad as they are.’

‘Hey! That is not true,’ The Wandering Physicist growls. ‘I am very concerned for her well-being, and I want to respect her wishes. If Rei wants to go home and I had a way to help her, I would gladly, if tearfully, give her all of the help I could.’

‘As tearful as the other you when he gave her up to begin with?’ Stormy shoots.

‘Ya gave her up! Why would ya do a thin’ like that!’ Apple Bloom cries.

‘That wasn’t... It is complicated.’

‘Don’ go beatin’ up Jimmy fer somethin’ he didn’ do. He has been a good role model fer little Rei,’ Applejack defends.

‘Right. That is why she gets in trouble at school at least once a week.’ Stormy shakes his head. ‘Just like a father to not care about their kids.’

‘Whoa!’ The Wandering Physicist is shocked. ‘Just because you and I had bad experiences, doesn’t mean all fathers don’t care. I hate to put Rei on the spot like this, but she gets notes from home all of the time.’

Rei buries her head in the dirt. She moans. ‘They’re in your mouth-writing.’

‘Well, yeah, because he’s your... Can we not talk about that now?’

‘Why? Is she embarrassing you?’ Stormy jeers.

‘Hey! Ah thought Ah said t’ quit beatin’ him up.’

‘Fine, big sis. If ya are mah big sis,’ Apple Bloom grumbles.

‘Hold yer horses there, little missy. Ya know Ah’m yer sister.’

‘Oh yeah? Let’s ask our parents t’ prove it. Oh right. We can’t!’ Apple Bloom shouts.

‘Apple Bloom, Ah...’

‘Ya what? Why can’t we talk ‘bout our parents this time? Can’t see no apples in the trees, so it can’t be that. Ya slopped the hogs earlier, so it ain’t that. Ya ain’t in town so it can’t be ‘cause ya have t’ work. Why now?’

Applejack looks away as she tries to think without facing her upset sister. ‘Apple Bloom, Ah, uh, Ah mean...’

‘Right. You can tell us to behave like adults, but you can’t treat us as equals.’

‘Stormy, give it a rest.’

‘Tch. You’re not my dad. He’s in jail. Hell, Rarity is the one helping me get emancipated. You’re not doing anything for me.’

The Wandering Physicist snarls. ‘I let you use my house as your clubhouse.’

‘Way to belittle your kid’s friends. Just because she has friends at her age doesn’t mean you can live through them.’

Applejack barely stops The Wandering Physicist before he can take a swing at Stormy.

‘Tch. Just another so-called father figure who wants to see me in pain. Was that why you took me back to the night my mom died? See little Strawberry suffer for you?’

‘I wanted you to know she cared for you to the end.’ The Wandering Physicist growls through clenched teeth. ‘I know it hurts sometimes, but we can make some good memories from the bad.’

‘What Jimmy says is right.’ Applejack agrees. ‘We can’t obsess on the past. We have t’ live in the now.’

‘Then why can’t Ah celebrate the holiday like everypony else now?’ Apple Bloom huffs.

‘Apple Bloom, we’ll talk ‘bout it when ya are a big pony.’

‘AH AM A BIG PONY!’ Apple Bloom shrieks. ‘Jus’ ‘cause Ah don’ have mah cutie mark don’ mean ya can’t treat me like a grownup!’ She looks away and forces back tears. ‘If Mr Wanderer really were on our side, he’d agree. He treats everypony the same... At least he did befer now...’

‘Apple Bloom.... I would help if I cou...’

Stormy steps in front of the young filly. ‘I think she has had enough of what you had to say.’ He glares at the adults. ‘You can’t keep treating her like a kid and expecting her to follow you.’

‘I never treated her or any of her classmates like kids, and they know it.’

‘Then how come ya ignore me when Ah tell ya Applejack likes ya?’ Apple Bloom sniffs.

Applejack’s eyes dart. ‘Ah never said that.’

‘Then how come ya talk about him all the time?’ Apple Bloom asks. ‘Ah even heard ya sayin’ his name one night after we went t’ bed.’

Applejack turns beet red. The Wandering Physicist is frozen in shock.

‘Pervert.’ Stormy shakes his head. ‘Good role model indeed.’

‘What is Stormy talkin’ about?’

Applejack looks at her sister. Apple Bloom’s persistent stare, Stormy’s disapproving glare, and The Wandering Physicist’s surprised look causes Applejack to reach the maximum levels embarrassment. Instead of an answer, she starts displaying all of the usual nervous habits Fluttershy shows on an average trip to the market.

‘...’ Applejack squeaks in a volume and pitch that would put Fluttershy to shame.

‘Tch. Thought so,’ Stormy snorts. ‘Should just get Rei to explain it like with Sweetie Belle. That is if Rei ever comes back.’

‘What?’

The Wandering Physicist looks around Rei has disappeared. She is not even seen flying away. After a moment of thought, a thought occurs to The Wandering Physicist.

‘Damn it.’ He turns to Applejack. ‘I need your help.’

Applejack just blushes and kicks at the ground. The Wandering Physicist growls and turns back to the kids.

‘I am honestly and truly sorry we could not work this out, but I really don’t want Rei getting in trouble or hurt if she is going to do what I think she is going to do.’

‘Whatever,’ Stormy rolls his eyes. ‘Just abandon us too.’

‘Stormy, I know you probably get this all the time, but it is not your fault. Okay? As bad as everything was, it is not your fault. You have a lot to be happy about right now.’ Stormy grumbles to himself. ‘And Apple Bloom, your sister loves you a lot. Give her a break if she is really uncomfortable talking to you about something. When she is ready to talk to you about something, she will.’

Apple Bloom looks down and kicks the dirt. The Wandering Physicists gives one last sigh then turns to run. Applejack is still fumbling with the ground. The Wandering Physicist pulls her tail and motions to follow. Applejack looks around then follows him as he gallops off. Stormy sighs then looks down at Apple Bloom.

‘I’m sorry for some of the stuff I said. I guess,’ Stormy mumbles.

‘It’s okay,’ Apple Bloom replies. ‘Ah jus’ wanna lay down for a bit.’

‘Be safe, kid.’

Stormy and Apple Bloom break up as he goes back to town and she goes back to her home.
…

The Wandering Physicist leads Applejack through her orchards. He seems to be galloping towards nothing in particular.

‘Jimmy, where are ya headin?’ Applejack asks.

‘Rei ran off. I think I know where she is going if we can beat her there...’ The Rushing Physicist explains.

In the distance, the sound of a TARDIS phasing away is heard. The Wandering Physicist growls and gallops harder. He and Applejack reach a clearing right when a tree disappears.

‘Damn it, Rei!’

The Wandering Physicist gets out his mobile and starts entering commands.

‘What in tarnation was yer shippy thing doin’ in mah farm?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘I was hoping everything was going to be worked out, and I was going to take us all out for ice cream. I know a great place in New York.’

Applejack thinks. ‘New what?’

‘It is this really cool human city. A bit like your Manehattan.’

Applejack glares. ‘Humans ain’t real, ya know.’

‘You fought robot ponies from space. What makes you think humans aren’t real?’

Applejack snorts. The Wandering Physicist raises his mobile above his head. A beam of light shoots out into the sky, piercing the heavens and causing ripples in space-time.

‘Whatcha y’all doing?’

‘Hitching us a lift. I just hope he is listening.’

‘Ya mean that perfessor fella? Shouldn’ we ask Derpy if she’s seen him?’

‘You never know where (or when) he could be...’ The sound of a TARDIS dematerializing is heard. ‘There we go!’

A blue police box materializes out of nowhere. The Doctor pops his head out, but his face and mane are different and he is noticeably younger. He is wearing a very sharp bow tie. He looks around, confused.

‘Did somepony ring me?’ He notices why he is here. ‘Oh. James. I should have guessed.’

‘I’m assuming I don’t tell you between now and now that I need a lift now?’

‘I would have remembered if you did and would have thumbed my nose at you and made funny noises.’

‘Charming. I see you have a bit of your fourth’s playful spirit.’

‘Wait a tic. Who is this pony?’ Applejack asks.

The Doctor adjusts his bow tie. ‘I am The Doctor.’

‘But ya look nothin’ like him.’

‘Uh... Wibbly-wobbly...’ ‘Timey-whimy...’ The two Time Lords explain.

Applejack shakes her head. ‘Y’all are the weirdest aliens Ah ever met.’

The Wandering Physicist turns to The Doctor. ‘Can we get a lift?’

‘Only if there is some major, universe-shaking, whole-planet-exploding, massive, Dalek-y, super nova-y...’

‘Rei has my TARDIS.’

‘So worse than all of that combined?’ The Doctor immediately turns into his TARDIS. ‘Come on in!’

The two ponies enter the TARDIS. Applejack is shocked by what she sees as The Wandering Physicist goes up to the console to go over the hunt for his kid.

‘Now Ah know y’all ain’t the other professor since his ship thingy was all different like.’

‘Yeah. Less organic and more steampunk.’ The Wandering Physicist turns to The Doctor. ‘I like what you’ve done with the place.’

‘Why thank you. New face. New body. Figured, what the hell, new TARDIS.’

‘Whoa. Stop there. We don’t want any spoilers so we can’t accidentally change history.’

‘When have you cared about spoilers? Mr Mobile-to-GameFAQs-of-the-Future.’

‘Y’all have a way o’ knowin’ what games are comin’ out in the future? When are we gettin’ another Harvest Moon or Rune Factory?’ Applejack asks excitedly before catching herself. ‘Ah, uh, am askin’ fer a...’ Two Time Lords glare back. ‘Ah’m askin’ fer me.’

‘You can just come by the store.’ Applejack kicks at the deck of the TARDIS. ‘... Unless that causes thoughts like what Apple Blo...’

‘That never happened!’

The Doctor looks between the two ponies and opens his mouth.

‘Spoilers!’ The Wandering Physicist shouts.

‘Right! Um... Where are we going?’

‘Oh right!’ The Wandering Physicist starts going over the controls. ‘I have a program that sends my TARDIS to an ice planet ten minutes in the future unless I am the pilot. We just have to arrive there nine minutes in the future.’

‘How do ya set somethin’ t' ten minutes in the future if ya don’ know if what y’all are... Arg!’ Applejack hold her head in pain.

‘She does have a point. You can’t have your TARDIS do that.’

A loud noise comes from The Doctor’s TARDIS.

‘You stay out of this!’

The Doctor joins The Wandering Physicist at the console. They manipulate the controls, causing the TARDIS to travel much more smoothly. Applejack just watches in awe at the display of raw technology before her. Eventually, the TARDIS stops making noise and the Time Lords back down.

‘Okay. Applejack, be ready to catch a really fast object...’ The Wandering Physicist warns.

The Doctor counts down from a display. ‘Right... about...’ He claps his hooves and the doors open. ‘Now!’

‘Say what?’

Applejack turns around just in time to get tackled by by a speeding Rei. The pair tumble down to the lower level of the TARDIS console room.

‘Great catch!’

‘That was more fun than the game with the sticks!’

‘Thanks fer lettin’ me in yer little plan,’ Applejack grumbles as she puts her hat back on.

‘Well, we did try to warn you.’

‘Ten minutes minus nine minutes. Not that fancy mathematics.’

Applejack grumbles. Rei picks herself up and shakes her head to clear her mind. She turns around just in time to get hugged by The Wandering Physicist.

‘I forgive you.’

Rei does not respond. She just grabs The Wandering Physicist back and starts sobbing.

‘There, there,’ The Wandering Physicist comforts. He looks up at The Doctor. ‘Thanks again, Theta. We’ll be heading home now.’

Back at The Power Block, Applejack is sitting at the table while The Wandering Physicist comes out of Rei’s room. He sits at the table and lets out a long sigh.

‘I was able to remove her windows so she won’t fly off,’ The Wandering Physicist explains. ‘She is still too emotional to talk with me though. So much anger and sadness...’

‘Apple Bloom is still mad at us. She has Big Macintosh guardin’ her door too.’

‘And then there is Stormy....’

Both adults look down and sigh.

‘Sometimes Ah hate bein’ the Element of Honesty.’

‘I think a little bit of honesty is what we both need right now.’

Applejack is the first to look up. ‘Ah never really wanted t’ ask, but is Rei really yer kid? Like from the future or somethin’?’

‘No... and yes.’ Applejack tilts her head in confusion. ‘She is really from a different Equestria, years in the future. And...’ He looks up. ‘You have to Pinkie Promise to tell nopony what I am about to tell you.’ Applejack quickly goes through the motions. ‘Okay. Yeah. She is the daughter of the me and the Luna of that universe. They knew she was going to be lost to them one day, but they still tried to give her a good life. They left a secret message asking not to reveal her past, but I am a bit of a dolt and I accidentally told her.’

‘Shouldn’ that make her happy t’ know her roots?’

‘If your parents raised you like you were a stranger’s child for fifteen years, would you be happy if they suddenly said “Surprise! We’re really your parents”?’

‘Hmm. Ya have a point.’

The Wandering Physicist moans. ‘I guess I have to tell her and take all of the hell that she will bring down.’

‘That’d be a good idea.’

There is a pause between the pair.

‘What about you?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘What about me what?’

‘What are you not being honest about?’

Applejack purses her lips and her eyes dart. ‘Ah ain’t hidin’ nothin’.’

‘Is what Apple Bloom said true? Are you using me for your after hours entertainment?’ The Wandering Physicist giggles a little.

Applejack scowls. ‘Ah only did that once...’

The Wandering Physicist giggles again. ‘Really?’ He laughs to himself. ‘What is it about us? Everypony just seems to like us.’

Applejack blushes. ‘Don’ act so smug.’

‘Sorry. Sorry. Just with Twilight and Pinkie and Selene and Fluttershy and Octy. Now you...’

‘It ain’t like there many good stallions out there. If y’all were single, then maybe, maybe, Ah’d consider ya.’

‘Except for that one night when you were lonely.’

Applejack growls. ‘That. Never. Happened.’

‘You seriously never once thought of me that way? Not one romantic thought? Didn’t consider one little kiss?’

‘Ah never thought o’ ya that way.’

‘Come on. One kiss to see if you feel anything?’

‘The only thing that would be felt if ya tried kissin’ me would be mah hooves buckin’ ya across town.’

‘Okay. Okay. I’ll drop it.’ He sighs. ‘We still have our little problems.’

‘Right.’ Applejack thinks. ‘Ah can handle Apple Bloom. Ah think Ah have a way t’ get t’ her. And Ah think Ah have an idea on how to deal with Stormy.’

‘Okay. Looks like I get to spend some bonding time with my daughter. If you see me with a different face, know that Rei won.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘Oh, trust me. It will make sense.’

‘Riiiight.’

The adults stand up and start to leave.

‘Kiss for luck?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘Watch it there.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs as he watches Applejack leaves. He goes to Rei’s door, takes a few deep breaths and knocks on the door.

‘Rei... We need to talk.’

Stormy is blasting heavy metal music in his room at the Carousel Boutique. It is his last chance to do so before Rarity returns. The music is so loud that he fails to notice the sounds of somepony entering the building. He does take notice when his door is bucked open. Before terrified unicorn colt can react, Applejack has him lassoed and hogtied in record time. With a flick of her ponytail (the one on her mane), Applejack even turns off the loud music. She stomps an angry hoof next to the scared colt.

‘Don’ even try usin’ magic or Ah’ll break it off.’ She leans in close. ‘And Ah don’ mean yer horn.’

Stormy’s eyes go wide, and he nods in agreement.

‘Good. Now listen t’ what Ah have t’ say and listen good.’ Applejack looks down and huffs. ‘Now, Ah know ya had a bum deal when it came t’ handin’ out fathers but from what Ah have heard y’all had a pretty decent mother. If y’all are gettin’ held up on the one parent ya have left, then yer doin’ it all wrong.’ She eases up a bit. ‘Shoot. The way he treated ya, Ah wouldn’ think of him as a parent anymore.’ She shakes her head. ‘But that ain’t the point. The point is that y’all should be celebratin’ the one real parent ya ever had. Y’all should bake her a cake or somethin’ and go eat it with her.’ Stormy whimpers at the thought. ‘Ah know that is mighty uncomfortable but if ya keep hidin’ from somethin’ uncomfortable, y’all will never get the closure and comfort ya need.’

Stormy looks away and mumbles, ‘I guess I understand...’

‘Good. ‘Cause if Ah hear ya talking like ya have been doin’ again, Ah will tie ya up and take ya out t’ see yer mother again mahself.’

Stormy winces.

Applejack unties her captive and tucks her rope away. ‘Now that we have an understandin’, Ah have t’ see mah sister.’

Applejack trots out of the room leaving a shell shocked Stormy. He watches Applejack leave and stares out of the door for a few moments before getting up, grabbing his music player and going to the kitchen.

Applejack heads up the farmhouse stairs towards her and Apple Bloom’s rooms. Outside of Apple Bloom’s room sits the red colossus of their older brother Big Macintosh. He has a look perfectly combining dutiful and bored in one very passive expression. Applejack braces herself and marches towards the door. Immediately, Big Macintosh blocks it with his bulk.

‘Nope.’

Applejack looks her brother square in the eyes. ‘Did she tell ya why she’s holed up in there?’

Big Macintosh backs away and shakes his head. Applejack leans in and whispers to her brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apple Bloom is moping on her bed. She is just trying to shut out the world when there is a knock on her door. She looks up to see Big Macintosh poking his head in. He enters slowly and comes over to the bed. He sits next to his littlest sister, causing her to bounce when his mass comes down. The two siblings look at each other.

‘Ah heard why yer upset,’ Big Macintosh states. ‘Ya shoulda come t’ me first fer the whole story.’

Applejack peeks in on her siblings talking. She gets a big smile to see Apple Bloom finally cheering up, if just a little. She sighs and leans against the door frame as she listens to Big Macintosh talk about their parents.

The next day, The Wandering Physicist and Rei are working in The Power Block. Rei flies to the counter from the back rooms. She sets the company Chromebook on the counter. She gives her father a hug.

‘Inventory done, otoosan.’

The Wandering Physicist shakes his head. ‘I am never going to get used to that.’

The door to the shop opens, and Applejack heads straight to the counter.

‘How may I help you today, Mr Purple?’

Applejack flinches. ‘Sounds like y’all are back t’ normal.’

‘Took some time, but we worked out most of the issues.’

‘Time machines are not toys,’ Rei adds.

‘Good girl,’ The Wandering Physicist reaches up and pats Rei on the head.

‘Ya mind if Ah talk t’ Jimmy alone?’

Rei lets her father go and lands behind the counter. The Wandering Physicist and Applejack head to one of the back hallways. Applejack waits until she is sure nopony is listening before speaking.

‘Ah jus’ wanted t’ thank ya privately fer helping with Apple Bloom.’

‘I didn’t do anything and you know it.’

‘Well, that’s just, uh, but...’ Applejack thinks. ‘Well, thank ya anyway. Y’all were a good support t’ have.’

‘Always there for a friend. You’re not the only super loyal pony around here.’

Applejack nods. ‘Ah really appreciate it.’ She looks around nervously. ‘Uh, jus’ one more thing.’

Applejack leads The Confused Physicist the back entrance to the alley behind the shop. She looks around to make sure nopony is looking.

‘What is it you wanted to...’

Applejack quickly kisses The Shocked Physicist on the lips. She backs away and blushes.

‘That was a nice surprise.’

‘Don’ rub it in. It is embarrassin’ enough t’ do that.’

The Wandering Casanova smiles. ‘Feel anything?’

Applejack glares. ‘Aside from embarrassment, nothin’ at all. Told ya.’

The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘I guess that’s good. I’d hate for my relationships to get more complicated than they are already. I know you’ll find somepony who will be perfect for you.’

Applejack tries turning her nose up, but she breaks her facade when The Wandering Physicist offers her a brohoof. They brohoof and part ways with Applejack making her way around the shop. A good distance away she glances back. Instantly, her lips purse and her eyes dart.

‘Nothin’ at all...’

Bonus Scene

Author's Note

Current TWP Love Triangle: Twilight vs Luna vs Pinkie vs Fluttershy (vs Applejack vs Octavia)

TWP Timeline: First kiss from Applejack. TWP officially adopts Rei.

Story Timeline: First appearance of the Eleventh Doctor. Rei finally has a family.

Fun fact: I lucked that that Applejack's parents were more or less confirmed for dead. It made her unease about talking about her parents work even more in this chapter. Like Stormy, she can be seen as having a hard time moving on after her parents' death or disappearance. I really wish the series would deal with this issue since it would give her a powerful backstory element. When it was heavily implied that her parents were gone, she moved way up on my favorite character list.

Temporary Templar

Main Characters: Stormy, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom
Cameos: TWP, Rei, Inkie, Twilight, Applejack
Original Write Date: 01/31/2012

Carousel Boutique is closed for a few days. Rarity is away with her family for a religious holiday leaving Stormy home alone. This also means that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are down a Crusader. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom are outside of the shop, looking into the living quarters.

‘Ah don’ see ‘im!’

‘Keep looking. I know he is in there.’

On cue, Stormy slides into the kitchen on his hind legs and poses in front of the refrigerator. He levitates a carton of milk out and drinks straight from it. He turns around and spits the milk all over the kitchen when he sees two young fillies making faces at the window. Stormy returns to standing normal and gallops to the door.

‘What the hell!’ Stormy shouts.

‘Why were ya walkin’ funny?’ Apple Bloom asks.

Stormy snorts. ‘Let’s just say, when you are my age, I hope you get Lyra for a teacher.’

‘My dad says she and Bon Bon are...’ Scootaloo starts.

‘He’s wrong,’ Stormy interrupts. ‘He is wrong about a lot of things. Especially that and everything else.’

Scootaloo looks away. ‘I know...’

‘Anyway, what do you squirts want? Sweetie Belle ain’t here. She’s out with Rarity.’

‘That is why we need you!’ Scootaloo cries. ‘We need a unicorn to balance the party.’

Stormy’s eye twitches. ‘Balance the party?’

‘We learned it from Dream Maker when we tried Cutie Mark Crusader Table Top Gamers,’ Apple Bloom explains.

‘Right...’ Stormy turns around. ‘I’m going back to bed. Maybe then I will be able to wake up.’

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom dive and catch Stormy’s hind legs.

‘Please!’

‘Ya have t’ help us!’

Stormy stops and growls. ‘I already have my cutie mark... How can I help?’

‘Y’all can help us with the stuff that Sweetie Belle wouldn’ do.’

Stormy shudders. ‘She’s the smart one... I hate to think what she won’t do...’

‘So, you’ll help us?’

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom look up at Stormy with the biggest puppy dog eyes.

Stormy groans. ‘Fine. If just to keep you out of trouble.’

‘Honorary Cutie Mark Crusader Stormy! YAY!’

Stormy cringes at the cheer.

Stormy has taken the CMC to The Power Block. The younger fillies are going over the games while Lucas keeps an eye on them from the counter.

‘Remember the rule for being in the store!’ The Wandering Physicist calls.

Scootaloo rolls her eyes then picks up one of the demo games.

‘Ah understand. Ya told me enough times,’ Apple Bloom grumbles as she joins Scootaloo.

The Wandering Physicist huffs then turns to Stormy.

‘So, how can I help you? Bioshock pre-order? If you’re looking for Rei, she is doing some work with Kaeko today.’

Stormy groans. ‘Actually, I am here with them. I came to ask some advice about something I can do with them that won’t cover me in tree sap or something.’

‘Why me?’

‘Well... You are most responsible pony I know.’

Instantly, The Power Block is filled with the loudest, most rancorous laughter. It is so loud that Marvel comes out of his shop next door to investigate. Once The Wandering Physicist calms down and stops laughing, he takes a deep breath and looks back at Stormy.

Stormy glares at The Wandering Physicist. ‘Are you quite done?’

‘Sorry.’ He thinks for a moment. ‘Hey. Did your cutie mark change to a comedy one?’

‘Funny. Just give us advice or I’ll consider suggesting they do some gaming.’

‘Fine.’ The Wandering Physicist thinks. ‘Why not do some physics?’

‘Ya mean somethin’ like that relativity stuff ya taught us?’ Apple Bloom asks.

‘Not necessarily relativity since that is hard to test on the small scale, but there are all sorts of applied physics in everyday life,’ The Wandering Physicist explains.

‘Great. Here we go.’ Scootaloo rolls her eyes.

‘You can do astronomy and cosmology just by gazing through a telescope. The simple act of surfing is practical use of oceanography. Every rock we see is the product of geology and vulcanology, all of which are governed by everything from basic mechanics to thermodynamics even to quantum interactions. There is a whole world of physics around us!’

‘Cool!’ The young fillies cheer.

‘Boss, you’re drooling again,’ Lucas mumbles.

‘We should totally do something with science!’ Scootaloo cheers.

‘Yeah! We can be the smartest ponies at scientificating,’ Apple Bloom agrees.

‘That is not a word...’ Stormy moans.

‘Great! Wait right here!’ The Wandering Physicist gallops to a back room.

‘We should ask Twilight and Inkie. They’re always sciencing something,’ Apple Bloom suggests.

‘Good call. Come on, Stormy!’

‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PHYSICISTS! YAY!’

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom gallop away. Stormy sighs and trots after them. The Wandering Physicist returns with a box of items.

‘Okay. Here is a kit of simple physics experiments that...’ He looks around. ‘Where’d they go?’

‘That will do, boss. That will do,’ Lucas sighs.

At the library, Twilight is about to head out to do some errands. Right as she opens the front door, two young fillies shoot into the library.

‘Hi Twilight!’ the two CMC cheer.

Twilight turns and smiles. ‘Hi girls!’

Both of the young fillies react to bad memories of the last time they heard that phrase. Apple Bloom just shudders while Scootaloo suffers from what can best be described as a Vietnam flashback.

‘How can I help you?’ Twilight asks.

‘Inkie about?’ Stormy asks as he trots in.

Twilight looks between the older and younger ponies before turning to Stormy. ‘She is down in the lab. Just make sure Rei is careful this time.’

Stormy sighs. ‘Don’t worry. I am not her with her.’

Apple Bloom darts to the door to the basement lab. ‘Come on! Let’s go see what she is workin’ on!’

‘Last one down is a rotten egg!’ Scootaloo taunts.

The two fillies starts bumping each other back and forth as they go through the door. Stormy grumbles and follows.

‘Kill me now,’ he mumbles to himself.

Twilight shrugs and continues out the door. In the lab, Inkie is working at a table and making notes in a notebook. The younger fillies stand at either side of the older filly looking at her notes.

‘What are you working on?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘Looks all fancy-like,’ Apple Bloom comments.

‘It really is,’ Inkie agrees. ‘I am currently running some chemistry and biology experiments on samples I collected from the Everfree Forest.’

‘Neat! Ah bet Zecora would love t’ talk plants with ya!’

‘Actually, I consult her for known uses for the plants before I begin my work. I have found a lot of additional uses for a number of plants.’

‘What have you found out?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘Well, recently, I learned that the Heart’s Desire plant can be distilled to make a mild aphrodisiac.’

Stormy barely stifles a snort. ‘I’d love to see your notes on that experiment.’

Inkie blushes deeply. ‘N-n-no peeking until they are published.’

‘What’s an afro-whatever?’ Apple Bloom asks.

‘N-never you mind!’ Inkie stammers as she looks for a place hide.

Stormy laughs again. ‘Where are you being published? Playcolt?’

‘Is that a big important magazine?’ Apple Bloom asks, looking up at Inkie cheerfully.

Inkie looks down and gives a shy squeak.

Scootaloo giggles. ‘Try checking the back of Big Mac’s closet. That is where I found my dad’s stash.’

Stormy starts laughing even more as Apple Bloom gets even more confused.

‘S-so! What was that you needed? Is Rei in trouble?’

‘Why does everypony keep askin’ that?’ Apple Bloom ponders.

‘It is a great mystery,’ Stormy groans.

‘Mr Wanderer suggested we get science cutie marks, and you are the most sciency pony we know.’

‘Why thank you, Scootaloo,’ Inkie smiles. She thinks for a moment. ‘Well, I have mostly been collecting samples in the Everfree Forest... but that is definitely not safe for young ponies.’

‘Aww!’ The fillies moan.

‘But we could help you find more of that afro-thingy you were talkin’ about,’ Apple Bloom offers.

Inkie hides her face with her hair. ‘Um... Well... Actually! I have to go out and collect samples on my own!’ She stumbles up and starts pushing the others out. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me. I have work to do.’

Inkie pushes the group straight out of the library. Stormy giggles at the situation. The young fillies grumble.

‘Shoot. Time for Plan B?’ Apple Bloom asks.

Scootaloo smirks. ‘Time for Plan B.’

Several hours later, the two CMC and their honorary member are sitting in the middle of the park washing off the tree sap from their last attempt to get their cutie marks. Stormy is showing a lot of stress and wear from the day babysitting the two energetic fillies.

‘Ah swore we’d make good pig wranglers,’ Apple Bloom pouts.

Stormy grumbles and tends to a bandaged leg where he was bitten.

‘We should have had it with bullwhipping,’ Scootaloo complains.

Stormy sneers as he touches a fresh cut on his cheek.

‘What is next on the list of things that Sweetie Belle won’t do?’

‘Let me see.’ Apple Bloom gets out a sheet of paper and looks it over. ‘It says here...’ She glares at the paper then looks up at a grinning Scootaloo. ‘We ain’t doin’ that yuri thin’ again. Ever.’

Scootaloo frowns while Stormy facehoofs. Apple Bloom returns to the list.

‘Says here, we have... pi-ro, pyrotechinic techin... firework maker.’

‘Cool!’

‘Okay. We’re done,’ Stormy says as he snatches the paper from Apple Bloom.

‘Hey! Give that back!’

‘Nope. We’re done doing crazy stuff. Let’s just go back to Rarity’s shop, and I’ll teach you some crazy baking recipes instead.’

‘You can’t tell us what to do,’ Scootaloo complains. ‘We’re a group, and we do what the group says.’

‘Yeah, well, I’m the closest thing we have to an adult, and I say you are going to come with me back to my place now. ... And that sounded a lot creepier than I intended.’

‘We don’ wanna do borin’ bakin’ stuff. We tried that already.’

‘If you want your cutie marks, it is not about trying something once and quitting. You have to do it again and again until you find out if you have a talent there or not.’

Scootaloo glares up at the older pony. ‘Are you questioning our methods? You’re not allowed to do that.’

‘I’m allowed to because I know what I am talking about from experience.’

‘Well, uh, shut up! We are doing what we want to do!’

‘All right. Fine.’ Stormy starts trotting away. ‘You want to go off and do something crazy and get hurt, you’re doing it without me.’

‘Good! We don’t need you!’ Scootaloo shouts.

Stormy growls and trots faster. Scootaloo turns and starts trotting away too, leaving a befuddled Apple Bloom to catch up.

‘Where’re ya goin’?’

‘We’re going to do that plant science thing for Inkie. Come on. Let’s get to the forest.’

Scootaloo starts galloping with Apple Bloom trying to catch up.
…

Stormy is grumbling at the ground while angrily trotting back to Carousel Boutique. The Ponyville denizens are keeping clear of the grumpy unicorn until he is stopped by a pair of ponies. He looks up to see Rei and Inkie. Rei has a Pocky stick in her mouth.

‘Hi!’ Rei cheers.

‘We finished work early,’ Inkie explains. ‘Want to come over to Twilight’s and hang out?’

‘I’m bringing Pocky!’

Stormy gives Rei a questioning look. ‘Weren’t you working with Kaeko today?’

‘Yep!’

‘So you bought the Pocky there?’

‘Nope!’

‘Why were you working for her again?’

Rei glares. ‘Just for that, I am not letting you have any of the manly flavors.’

‘Where are the kids?’ Inkie asks.

Stormy scowls. ‘We decided to part ways for the day.’

‘Oh. Okay.’ She thinks for a second. ‘Come on! We can play games, read and eat Rei’s stolen snacks.’

‘They are not stolen. They are future payment for the next time I work for her.’ Inkie and Stormy roll their eyes. ‘What? I thought we went over that the last four times I worked for her.’

With the evening setting in, the two young plant collectors are getting tired and their tempers have cooled as well. Apple Bloom pulls a plant from the ground and puts it in her pack.

‘Is that enough? Ah don’ think we saw half as many plants in Inkie’s lab.’

Scootaloo wipes the sweat from her brow, leaving a streak of dirt behind. ‘I guess that will do. We can science them tomorrow.’

Apple Bloom goes through her pack. ‘Shoot. Ah think we have more plants than the last time Applejack had a garden party.’

Scootaloo thinks. ‘Hey. If we don’t get a scientist cutie mark, we could try for our gardening cutie marks too!’

‘Yeah! Jus’ like Carrot Top!’

The fillies give a loud cheer and start trotting away in opposite directions. They return to where they split.

‘Why are you going that way?’ both say. ‘What are you talking about? Follow me!’

The two fillies glare then it hits them. They look around in fear then grab each other.

‘Oh, no,’ they say in unison.

At the library, the RSI Adventure Team is hanging out in Twilight’s entertainment room. Rei and Stormy are playing games on one of Twilight’s consoles while Inkie is reading a book. The door to the room opens and Twilight and Applejack enter.

‘Stormy, can we talk to you for a moment?’ Twilight asks.

Stormy groans. ‘Ugh. Fine.’ He sets down his controller. ‘Getting my flank kicked anyway.’

Rei snorts. ‘That is just an excuse for getting your flank kicked.’

Stormy rolls his eyes as he gets up and goes over to the mares.

‘How can I help you?’

‘As Ah understand, y’all were with Apple Bloom earlier. Ah haven’ heard from her and its gettin’ dark. Ah just’ wanna know if she is stayin’ with Scootaloo fer the night and jus’ fergot t’ check in.’

‘She isn’t back yet? I haven’t seen either in a few hours.’

‘Do you have any idea where they could be?’ Twilight asks.

‘I hope they didn’t think I needed help with my experiments,’ Inkie says.

Stormy’s eyes go wide. ‘Oh no.’ He turns back to his friends. ‘RSI! Time to move out!’

‘Hey!’ Rei shouts. ‘You’re not our leader! Rei-team!’

‘RSI...’ Stormy sighs.

‘RSI Adventure Team! Move out! … What are we moving out to?’

Stormy shakes his head and turns to the adults. ‘I think the kids may have gone to the Everfree Forest. They might be in trouble.’

‘Wait a tic. Y’all let mah sister go t’ the Everfree on her own? What in Equestria made ya think that was a good idea?’

Stormy looks away. ‘I... had a fight with Scootaloo. I sorta... sorta told her she could go get hurt for all I cared... We split up afterwards.’

Applejack glares. ‘You and Ah are gonna have a talk tomorrow, but first we have t’ find the kids.’

‘RSI to the rescue!’ Rei cheers.

Rei takes off and flies right into the window. She tumbles backwards as the window resists the force of the speeding pegasus.

‘Hmpf,’ Twilight snorts. ‘Guess she forgot that Mr Wanderer put in shatter-resistant glass because of her and Rainbow.’

The glass cracks and falls to pieces. Twilight cringes as Rei just moans and rubs her head.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom are nervously making their way through the forest. They quickly go from tree to tree after making sure there are no monsters about.

‘Are you sure this is the right way to Zecora’s?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘Ah am pretty sure,’ Apple Bloom replies. ‘We stayed on the path, so we will either get t’ her place or get home.’

‘Then let’s hurry.’

Scootaloo looks around then darts to the next tree. Apple Bloom quickly follows. Seconds later, a dark shape creeps after the small ponies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four ponies are charging down the path to Zecora’s hut. Twilight is leading the way while lighting the path with her magic. Stormy is using his magic to scan the surrounding area. Suddenly, his magic surges across the crack and he is knocked back a step. Inkie helps him up.

‘Don’t push yourself so hard,’ Inkie warns. ‘You don’t want to open your wound again.’

‘It is my fault they are missing,’ Stormy grumbles. ‘I shouldn’t have left them alone knowing what they were thinking.’

‘Now don’ blame yerself. Y’all may have had a fight, but ya weren’ the one that pushed them t’ come out here. Shoot. Apple Bloom knows the way t’ Zecora’s better than Ah do. She’s smart enough t’ head t’ safety when it gets dark.’

‘Let’s just hope Rei finds them there,’ Inkie says. ‘She should be there by now... if she doesn’t have a concussion.’ Stormy’s magic surges again. ‘Don’t give yourself a concussion too!’

Twilight lands, allowing the others to catch up and to relieve Stormy’s scanning efforts. She closes her eyes as she tries to sense the ethereal flow of the forest.

‘Is yer alicorn sense a-tinglin’?’ Applejack asks.

‘I am detecting something... It feels like it has almost as much magic as me or the other princesses.’

‘Is it me?’ Rei asks from beside Twilight.

Twilight notices Rei and jumps in shock. ‘Ack! No! It is not you. You’d have to be a really strong unicorn or have one of the princesses as your parent.’

Rei and Applejack briefly make eye contact then look away.

Twilight focuses again. ‘Gah! Whatever it is, I can’t easily pin down Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.’

Inkie pulls a flashlight from her pack. She offers it to Rei. ‘You can borrow my torch if you want to scan the trail from above.’

‘No thanks. I have my own light.’

Rei stomps the ground and electrical charge flows over her hooves. She lifts off and flies away leaving a trail of plasma in the air following her path. Twilight reignites her light spell.

‘Come on. It cannot be too much longer.’

The others nod and start galloping down the path, Twilight flying ahead of them.

‘Don’t worry, Stormy. We’ll find them.’ Inkie calls back. ‘Stormy?’

Inkie looks back to find a definite lack of Stormy.

‘Miss Twilight!’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom hide in a hollowed-out tree as a large beast stalks around the hiding spot. They are screaming for help as loud as they can.

‘Why does this happen to me every field trip!’ Scootaloo cries.

The creature reaches a scaly claw into the tree but gets bit by Apple Bloom instead. The beast roars and slams the tree. The flimsy fortress collapses and the two fillies tumble to the ground. A two-meter-tall bipedal lizard creature stands over the shattered stump. It roars and starts charging the fillies only to get blasted aside by a purple bolt of magic. Stormy steps out of the darkness with a trail of magical smoke coming from his horn.

‘Girls! Twilight, Applejack and the others are back the way I came. Go!’

The fillies do not have to be told twice. They quickly scramble to their hooves and gallop away. Stormy starts backing away, covering the retreat until he determines it is safe to flee himself. The creature slowly stands, shakes off the magic and bounds after the ponies. Stormy notices, turns, powers up a spell and CRACK! His spell backfires, and he is sent flying into a tree with the magical smoke trail and a small trickle of blood comes from his horn. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom stop their retreat to watch their friend from a safe distance. The lizard creature approaches its larger prey slowly to make sure it is safe. Seeing that Stormy is not moving, the creature licks its lips and moves in for the kill. A loud crack is heard from above and a white bolt strikes the ground.

Rei looks around from atop her reptilian landing pad. Seeing Stormy, she trots over to her friend. ‘Stormy! Where have you been?’ She looks at the fillies. ‘Remember: the buddy system saves lives. Come on, Stormy. Everypony is waiting for us. ... Stormy?’

Stormy groans and opens his eyes to see a familiar sight.

‘I hate the hospital,’ he grumbles.

‘Stormy’s awake!’

Stormy is instantly glomped from three directions. He looks down to see Rei, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom wrapped around his chest awkwardly.

‘What hit me?’ Stormy asks.

‘I told you not to overuse your magic.’ Inkie grumbles as she approaches. She has a small jar in a hoof. ‘Now hold still while I apply this treatment Mr Wanderer gave me for you.’

Stormy’s eyes go wide. Inkie takes a small dab of ointment and starts reaching for Stormy’s horn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Outside Stormy’s room, a nervous Applejack and Twilight are facing a furious-looking, darker-orange, stallion version of Scootaloo. One of the loudest yells in Equestria history comes from the room.

‘Ah!’ Twilight holds a hoof up to make a point. ‘And there will be the punishment for letting your daughter enter the forest without an adult.’

The next day, Stormy is convalescing in his bed. His horn is wrapped in a bandage once more. Rarity has returned, but they are taking the day off from working to get ready for more orders. Stormy is recounting the past day’s events and grumbling to himself as he reads a comic his friend Image dropped off as a gift. There is a knock on the door.

Stormy sighs. ‘Yes?’

The door opens, and the reunited CMC peek their head in.

‘See. I told you he wasn’t dead,’ Sweetie Belle says.

‘What do you want?’ Stormy snorts.

Scootaloo looks down and kicks the ground. ‘We wanted to apologize for all of the trouble we put you through.’

‘Yeah. We shoulda never made ya do thin’s ya didn’ want t’ do.’

Stormy sighs. ‘You two are safe now, and I just can’t use my horn for a couple days. It is better than if something really bad happened.’

‘So... y’all fergive us?’

Stormy takes a deep breath and motions the girls in for a hug. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom leap to the bed and return the hug.

‘Best honorary Cutie Mark Crusader ever!’ Scootaloo cheers. ‘But now that Sweetie Belle is back, we can do some real crusading again.’

‘Rarity made us costumes too!’ Sweetie Belle squeaks.

Sweetie Belle uses her magic to levitate small, white hats with a red cross on them to herself and her friends.

‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADER NURSES! YAY!’

Stormy screams and scrambles for the door as his caretakers close in.

Author's Note

Number of time Stormy cracked his horn: 2

Young Adult Education

Main Characters: TWP, Rarity, Marvel
Cameos: Lyra, Octavia, Rei, Stormy, Image
Original Write Date: Lost to the mists of time thanks to many formatting difficulties

Ponyville High School is all lit up in the early evening. Instead of tired and annoyed fillies and colts filing into the building, tired and annoyed stallions and mares are filing inside in their children’s stead. Making her way through the crowds is a beautiful mare wearing the most stylish of hats. Rarity makes her way past the other adults in search of a room. A sharp whistle cuts through the crowds and gets Rarity’s attention. She is waved over to a wall by The Wandering Physicist and Marvel Crystal.

‘And what brings the lovely Rarity out with us dregs?’ Marvel asks.

Rarity trots over. ‘Foal Services has asked that I monitor Mr Stormy’s progress if I am to remain his guardian-slash-employer. I am quite happy to do so, but it feels like only yesterday I walked these halls myself.’

The Wandering Physicist nods. ‘I know exactly what you mean.’

The teacher sticks her head out of the nearby classroom. She scowls when she sees The Wandering Physicist.

‘Weren’t you just here yesterday because of your kid and a mud ball to the back of the head?’

The Wandering Physicist smiles and sighs. ‘I am so proud of my daughter.’

Maths:

Image:

The teacher drops a report in front of Marvel.

‘Recently, the students were tasked to write a report about mathematics in real life applications.’

Marvel shudders. ‘I remember that. Way more advanced than anything I ever covered.’

The teacher glares. ‘Image turned in a paper that used a series of functions to draw something called “Power Mare.” ’

Marvel avoids making eye contact. ‘Well, at least he chose a subject with lots of curves...’

Stormy:

‘Stormy is quite skilled at the mathematical arts,’ the teacher comments.

Rarity nods. ‘That is something I have noticed as well in his service at my shop.’

The teacher adjusts her glasses. ‘He is easily one of the best students I have (failing one annoying exception). If I didn’t know better, I would say his cutie mark was a filing cabinet for the ERS.’

Rarity laughs nervously. ‘Just don’t say that to his face...’

Rei:

The teacher paces back and forth before The Wandering Physicist. She stops and glares.

‘Your kid is too damn smart.’

The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘I know she knows some higher math, but I am certain the material will catch up when you get to partial differential equations, combinatorics and chaos theory. You should see her analytical solution the three-body problem. Very elegant.’

The teacher stares back in complete horror. She takes a deep breath, goes to her desk and starts packing her belongings.

‘That is it. I quit. You can teach the class.’

Physical Education:

Image:

The pegasus coach stares thoughtfully at Marvel. The stallion looks around the room making mental notes about the art choices he sees.

‘You know your son chased me the other day, right?’ The coach says.

Marvel snaps his attention to the coach. ‘What! Nopony told me about that.’

‘It is because he wasn’t formally written up about it although his intent was clear.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘See, he was spending most of the period using his hoof to draw in the dirt. I scolded him and destroyed his doodle. He got very mad and started yelling and chasing me. As I took flight, I noticed the path he had chased me in was a larger scale of his doodle.’

Marvel laughs. ‘He does have an unique ability to see the large scale before anypony else does.’

The coach snorts. ‘Right. When I landed, he was working on finishing touches for his “project” so I just sent him back to the locker room for the rest of the period.’

‘I guess that makes sense, if he was being too much of a disruption.’

‘He certainly was.’

‘.... Did you at least get a picture of the art before it was removed?’

The coach glares and points to the exit.

Stormy:

‘Strawberry’s parent!’ is called to the waiting parents outside of the coach’s office.

Rarity smiles and happily trots into the office. She freezes when she sees the coach. The coach looks up and glares back at Rarity.

‘Good to see you again, Rarity,’ The coach growls.

‘Likewise,’ Rarity sneers. ‘If we can set our differences aside, I am here for Stormy.’

The coach scoffs. ‘I should have figured he was yours given your behavior with the colts.’

Rarity gasps. ‘I am offended! We were in the same class and you know full well that I remained a pure maiden and still am one to this day.’

The coach growls again. ‘Whatever helps you sleep at night.’

Rarity glares and starts scanning the room for a trophy to magically beat the coach with.

‘Anyway,’ the coach begins, ‘Strawberry is easily the weakest student I have seen since we were in school together. Last week, he couldn’t even complete a mile jog. Even the overweight students were able to finish that!’

‘You did know he and his friends got lost in the desert north of Dodge Junction last week, right? They had a harder time getting back than I did when I was stuck out there.’

‘What was he doing out there?’

Rarity thinks. ‘Hmm... I remember Applejack needing a missive delivered to her cousin Braeburn around then... But he is over in Appleloosa... You know, I am not really sure why he was out there.’

‘Have you tried more discipline?’ The coach suggests. ‘He is quite lacking in that area too.’

Rarity is shocked. ‘You, madam, are sick! First of all, he is too young for such things. Secondly, he is like a brother to me! Doing such things would feel unnatural.’

The coach facehooves. ‘I meant be more strict with him.’

Rarity blushes. ‘Oh. I knew that.’

The coach shakes her head. ‘Pure maiden indeed.’

Rei:

The coach is flying in front of The Wandering Physicist. She looks deeply concerned about something.

‘Rei does not play fair,’ The coach bluntly declares.

‘How so?’

‘She has too much energy! It makes it unfair for every team she is not on. I ended up just putting her on a team by herself, but that just makes her angry and more aggressive. I just want to know how to keep her in line so she can at least play fairly with the other students.’

‘Well, what else have you tried?’

‘I have tried everything with your kid. Nothing seems to work. I have tried tying her wings down. I have tried tying her wings down and keeping one of her forelegs up. I have tried tying her wings down and keeping one of her hind legs up. I even tried blindfolding her, but she still plays at higher skill levels than the other students.’

‘Well, I can explain that one.’

The coach sighs. ‘Please do.’

‘See, she and Rainbow Dash go off and see The Wonderbolts all of the time. Rei is a huge fan of Echo Fleetfoot. I am guessing she picked up some blind flying tricks from her.’

The coach thinks and nods. ‘I see... Ah! There is one other matter I wished to talk to you about.’

‘Which is?’

The coach points out of a nearby window to a field full of scorch marks and craters. ‘Who is going to rebuild my fields thanks to your kid’s lightning affinity?’

Science:

Image:

The teacher is lost in thought when Marvel enters and sits down. After a couple moments, Marvel clears his throat to break the ice.

‘Oh. Sorry.’ The teacher apologizes. ‘I am trying to find the right thing to say about your son.’

Marvel grimaces. ‘That bad, huh?’

‘Far from it! Image gets above-average test scores, but that is not what I want to talk to you about.’

‘Then what?’

The teacher thinks again. ‘Image has a way of looking at science. I cannot really place it. The closest way of putting it is like Richard Feynpony. Just a very... artistic way of looking at the world.’ He sighs. ‘It is quite a lucky way of seeing things.’

Marvel nods, feigning to know what the teacher is saying. I am sensing a pattern here...

Stormy:

‘Have you been getting Stormy tutoring?’ The teacher asks.

‘No... Why?’ Rarity is confused.

‘Well, in the past few months, his test and homework scores have gone way up! I have never seen a student improve so much in such a short amount of time.’

‘Well, he has been spending more time with with his friends, and Inkie is a wonderful scientist in her own right.’

‘Whatever it is, it is working. It it great to see a student improve like this.’

Rarity thinks. Maybe I should make Sweetie Belle spend more time with Inkie too...

Rei:

The teacher is shaking behind his desk as The Wandering Physicist waits for the conference to begin. The teacher sighs and begins.

‘I know your background. That makes me think that you were the one teaching her the advanced topics.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘She provided a logical proof for faster-than-light travel.’

The Wandering Physicist stares blankly. ‘I thought you said advanced topics.’

The teacher whines and gets a bottle out from under his desk and takes a hit.

Grammar:

Image:

The teacher slides an essay to Marvel.

‘Before this evening, I have the students write an essay on the theme of “The Best Day of My Life”. I have not read them as they were written for the parents.’
Mom and dad had taken me to my first Comic Con. It was pretty boring since I was a young colt at the time, and all they did was talk with their old comic industry buddies. Eventually, I was able to get free and wander on my own.
I found my way over to a section filled with comics I had never seen before. When I asked what these were, a stallion replied that they are webcomics. I was amazed at what I saw. I went to every booth and got some of the artists works and autographs. The artist for Pony Arcade even told me all about how he makes his art. It was so cool!
When we got home, I couldn’t wait to start making digital art of my own. My parents bought a graphics program too. My first works were a little shaky but soon, I was easily matching the works of Kurtz or Amend. One day, I woke up after spending the whole night working on layers for a computer background and my cutie mark had just appeared.

If I hadn’t gone to Comic Con and met those artists, I might not have found my talent. That day at the con was the best day ever.

‘Ah. That is nice. It is about how he got his cutie mark.’

Stormy:

The teacher slides an essay to Rarity.

‘Before this evening, I have the students write an essay on the theme of “The Best Day of My Life”...’

Rarity grimaces. ‘I am worried about what this might say.’ She lifts the essay with her magic.

The best day of my life started earlier than it should. Rarity’s sister Sweetie Belle was staying over for a long weekend. I knew I had some lovely sisterly bickering in my future. She was cooking breakfast, as I could tell by the smell of burning food. Thanks to my cooking lessons, breakfast was at least somewhat edible, but I was still hungry when I had to get dressed to leave for court. I had to be present for my dad’s sentencing.
My dad was on trial for nearly killing me. He only succeeded in breaking my leg and cracking my horn. During the trial, he went through three attorneys, all court appointed, before representing himself then threatening the judge. During the sentencing, he had to be restrained by the bailiff. Unfortunately, the billy clubs were left in their holsters this time. The best part was when he was sentenced to the full six year for all of the abuse and several more for the other charges. Outwardly, I only smiled but inwardly, I was double hoof pumping. I was so happy that that bastard was going to get what he deserved. I hope he gets stabbed by another inmate.
Also, Rarity made her delicious tomato and garlic soup for dinner. That was good too.

Rarity stares at the essay in shock. ‘Well... that was... enlightening?’

Rei:

The teacher slides an essay to The Wandering Physicist.

‘Before this...’

The Wandering Physicist already has the paper up and is reading.

The best day of my life started off very miserably. It was Parent’s Appreciation Weekend, and I was depressed. I had no parents and I had just found out that the ponies who were the closest thing to being my parents were lying to me my whole life. I did not want to live anymore. Worse, my caretaker also knew the truth and hid it from me.
I was spending the day with the awesomely awesome Stormy-kun and the sweet and cute Apple Bloom-chan. All three of us have had bad experiences with parents, and we were feeding off of each others bad vibes. Then Wanderer-san and Applejack-san gathered us together to scold us for feeling bad, or something like that. I kept feeling worse and worse, so I just ran. I kept running until I found Wanderer-san’s spaceship thingy. I just wanted to escape, so I took it. Unfortunately, Wanderer-san, Applejack-san and Doctor-sama were waiting for me. Wanderer-san took me back home and locked me in my room. I knew I was in big trouble.
Up to now, that does not sound like a good day. Trust me. It gets better. Wanderer-san was not mad that I took his ship. We talked about why he and my parents had kept the truth from me. I was still depressed and furious, but I realized they loved me. We even wrote a letter to my parents telling them that I knew, and I still loved them despite the secrecy. Then he did the greatest thing he ever could have done. He showed me the paperwork he had been filling out to adopt me. It was the greatest thing I had ever seen. He was wanting it to be a surprise, but this was the greatest thing anypony had ever done for me. I finally got my wish of having a parent, and he is the best parent anypony could ask for.

The Wandering Physicist wipes the tears from his eyes as he sets down the essay.

‘I love my daughter.’

Art:

Image:

The teacher tents her hooves as she looks at Marvel.

‘Have you ever thought of a guest lecture?’

Marvel shrugs. ‘Well, I sort of did one when you were all out with...’

‘No, no, no. I meant have Image do a guest lecture. He is by far the most skilled an artist than I have ever seen in my life.’

‘Oh.’ Marvel looks down. ‘I don’t know whether to feel happy or disappointed...’

‘Does he perchance work for commissions? I have a friend’s birthday coming up and she loves new artists.’

Stormy:

‘Stormy has a definite Baroque influence in his art, with hints of neoclassical expressionism.’

Rarity nods. ‘Interesting. He has helped me with some designs, and I see a distinct early classical influence.’

The teacher sighs and looks away. ‘So that is where he gets his habit of mostly drawing fillies in... suggestive clothing.’

Rarity gasps. ‘Are you sure it is not all of the strong feminine imagery you are shoving in your students’ faces?’

‘Ah! My art is to showcase empowerment! Not like your so-called finery which is more about tarting it up.’

‘AH! At least my creations are about showing of plots!’

‘AH!’ Both mares shriek at once.

They both instantly back down and give each other a curious look.

‘I thought I recognized your voice,’ the teacher says.

‘I as well,’ Rarity replies. ‘Did Velvet give you that discount you deserved?’

‘She gave in. She always does.’ The teacher laughs. ‘Did she have what you were looking for?’

Rarity sighs. ‘Sadly, no. She said they would have to special order dragon-textured...’

‘Let’s hope it comes in next week during the sale. Then you can argue for a discount.’

Rarity and the teacher laugh together.

‘I hope to see you around,’ Rarity says.

‘I as well,’ the teacher replies.

Rei:

The teacher glares at The Wandering Physicist.

‘We had an assignment where the students were required to write a paper on their favorite artist, and Rei wrote on Warren Spector.’

The Wandering Physicist forces back tears. ‘I have never been more proud of her than I am at this moment.’

‘You are proud that she failed the assignment?’

‘... Say what?’

‘The report was on an artist. Not on stupid flashing lights on a screen.’

The Wandering Physicist glares at the teacher with enough rage to cause hordes of evil invading aliens to run as fast as they can.

‘I think you want to rephrase that if you have any hopes of seeing the next parent and being alive at the same time.’

The teacher gulps and shrinks back in fear.

Music:

Image:

Lyra spins a cello bow in her hooves.

‘So... Can you covertly place a listening device in your neighbor’s store?’

‘Dream?’ Marvel asks. ‘Easily. He would never notice.’

‘How about your other neighbor?’

‘If you are out for information on James, you have to get it yourself.’ Marvel crosses his forelegs. ‘Now, are we going to talk about my son or not?’

Lyra sighs. ‘Fine! I guess.’ She goes through some notes. ‘Image is pretty good. He needs to practice his fingering, though, if he wants to get better at the saxophone.’

Stormy:

Lyra tents her hooves. ‘Now. I would like to ask you about a monitoring device...’

Rarity gasps. ‘How did you know about that!’

‘You have one already! Is audio or video?’

Rarity blushes. ‘Well, I use my webcam since it is more covert...’

Lyra strokes her chin. ‘A webcam, eh? Is it possible to get the IP so I can watch too?’

Rarity’s coat virtually becomes pink, she is blushing so much. ‘I-I didn’t know you were into that sort of thing.’

‘Very much so,’ Lyra leans back. ‘I quite enjoy watching other ponies. Bon Bon thinks it is weird, but she is okay with it now.’

‘She is very understanding. Everypony has their quirks.’ Rarity writes her IP on a card. ‘There. I should be online in the next couple days. I’ll send you an email first.’

‘Thank you. You’re quite generous.’

Rarity blushes and bows slightly before leaving. After Rarity leaves the room, both unicorns stop and think about what just transpired.

Wait. Were we talking about the same thing? both unicorns think.

Rei:

Lyra is glaring at The Wandering Physicist from across her desk.

‘How very human of you to come.’

The Wandering Physicist facehooves. ‘Oh geez. Do I have to tell Bon Bon on you?’

‘I figured you would try a stunt like that. That is why I brought a witness.’ Lyra raises a foreleg. ‘Arise!’

A grumble comes from the back and Octavia trots out.

‘I owed her a favor. Don’t look into this,’ Octavia grumbles.

Lyra snorts, then smirks at The Wandering Physicist. ‘Right. As soon as I mentioned your name she leapt at the chance.’

Octavia blushes and looks away. ‘If it is to keep the two of you in line, I will do my best.’

‘Wanna come over and play Rhythm Heaven Fever later?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘Aha!’ Lyra shouts. ‘That proves you are human! You can’t play that game without hands.’

The Wandering Physicist glares. ‘I am still holding your copy that you preordered at my store.’

‘Oh. I totally forgot. I’ll be over to pick it up tomorrow.’

Octavia facehooves. ‘They are like two Vinyls. Why did I agree to this?’

Lyra sighs. ‘We’ll be done soon enough, and I’ll give you that foot massage I promised you.’

History:

Image:

‘Your, your son is very knowledgeable about art history.’

Marvel shrugs. ‘I guess he gets it from his mom. She would always investigate older styles for our comics.’

‘Well, he is quite good. Is he free for a lecture on the topic?’

Marvel facehooves. ‘That is not the first time somepony asked that today.’

Stormy:

The teacher nervously shuffles Stormy’s papers.

‘No need to be nervous,’ Rarity assures. ‘I can handle any news, good or bad.’

The teacher bites her lip for a moment then blurts out, ‘Your son is best in the class! He is the only one with a perfect score.’

Rarity is shocked. ‘I assure you he is not my son.’

The teacher sighs. ‘Oh thank Celestia. I thought it was a little weird for you to have a son as young as you are.’

Rarity fluffs her mane. ‘You think I look that young?’

‘Um... Maybe a little.’

Rarity squeals. ‘That is the best news I have heard all night.’ She raises a foreleg in the air. ‘Take that Twilight and your natural youth!’

Rei:

The teacher gives an exasperated sigh as she goes over Rei’s papers.

‘I don’t know what to do about your kid.’

The Wandering Physicist rolls his eyes. ‘I hear that enough times, I’ll look into homeschooling.’

The teacher looks hopeful. ‘Really?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs this time. ‘Just tell me what Rei is doing.’

‘Okay...’ The teacher thinks for a moment. ‘It is like living in three timelines. She is perfect on all of the tests but when it comes to in-class discussions, she keeps bringing up events that are completely wrong or makes it seem like well-recorded events are not entirely accurate. It is very confusing.’ She pauses. ‘Is she doing what the kids call “trolling”?’

‘Remember that recent conflict that The Elements of Harmony had to be called up for?’ The teacher nods. ‘Look into it then check it against your textbooks. You might learn something.’

Computers:

Image:

‘Get your son a tablet,’ The teacher demands.

Marvel is shocked. ‘What?’

‘He spends most of the class playing with art programs. I figure it would be a good investment. He could make a lot of money doing art commissions online.’

‘Huh... I’ll have to talk to him about that.’ Marvel shrugs. ‘Seems like a good idea.’

Stormy:

The teacher is giving Rarity a questioning look.

‘If you have something to say, say it,’ Rarity snarls.

‘Oh. Nothing. You just look familiar.’

‘Aren’t we here to talk about Stormy?’ Rarity snorts.

‘Right! Uh...’ The teacher thinks. ‘He is very good at web design. Good grasp of HTML5 and CSS3.’

‘Thank you. He designed the Carousel Boutique’s web page himself.’

‘Very good. He needs to work on his other areas of programming, but he is still doing well enough to pass.’

‘I’ll pass that on to him.’

Rarity rises and trots away. The teacher watches her leave.

‘Oh that’s where I have seen you! Playcolt!’

Rarity turns back and glares with fire in her eyes. ‘Excuse me!’

The teacher hides under a desk. ‘Your interview a few months ago! Nothing more than that!’

‘Oh right. The interview. Very interesting choices for poses with my merchandise.’

Rarity trots away, musing to herself. The teacher sighs and comes out from hiding.

Rei:

The teacher glares at The Wandering Physicist.

‘I can overlook the fact that you reformated my lab...’

‘I think I heard a “thank you” in there somewhere.’

The teacher growls. ‘But somepony has to tell me why I get emails from EBI at least once a week regarding your daughter?’

The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘She does apprentice with Princess Luna. I guess they are just screening her emails for security threats.’

‘So Luna asked for your kid to create a botnet on the school servers?’

‘Are you questioning the princess?’

‘Well, no, but...’

‘Good.’ The Wandering Physicist looks around nervously. ‘Is the botnet still intact?’

‘Yeah... It has been quite hard to remove.’

The Wandering Physicist taps a few buttons on his mobile. ‘Very interesting.’ He stops. ‘You should find no trace of it tomorrow. I have a few scripts that Ruby and I run to get rid of these things.’

‘Oh, thank you.’

‘Told you I heard one of those.’ The Wandering Physicist gets up and trots away. ‘Linux is easy to use and just as easy to mess with. Take the time to learn it and you can do great and secure things with it.’

The Wandering Physicist trots past the other waiting parents. He finds a private spot and makes a call.

‘Hey, Ruby. Who has two thumbs and just swiped the school network? This guy!’

‘AHA!’

Lyra drops from a light fixture and slams face first into the ground. She starts galloping away, only to be stopped by a bundle of cello bows to the back of the head.

‘Bon Bon really picked a winner in this one,’ Octavia grumbles as she drags the unconscious Lyra away.

Counselor:

Image:

The counselor goes over her papers before getting out a sealed envelope.

‘Before this evening, I had a meeting with each of the students. I asked them to write a message for their parents that I would give to them as long as the student was assured not to get in trouble.’

Marvel laughs. ‘DC and I are very open with Image. He knows he can tell us anything.’

‘Very well.’ The counselor slides the envelope over.

Since I don’t know which parent will see this, I will keep this simple. Dad carries the story better in all of your comics together. Mom, you’re a good writer, but dad’s art carried the story a lot more than all of the extra dialogue you wrote. Sorry.

‘Hmm. I’m not really sure about that...’

‘Mr Crystal?’

‘Oh! He says that I am the better artist, but I have been insistent that DC is better.’

‘Interesting.’ She tilts her head. ‘There seems to be something on the back of the paper.’

Marvel turns the paper over to reveal several textless panels of a comic. He stares at the comic intently.

‘This is one of our...’

‘Mr Crystal?’

‘Holy carp. He is right.’ He looks up. ‘Don’t tell my wife I said that.’

‘You can write him a confidential note back. I will be meeting with the students again.’

‘Good call. Got a quill?’

The counselor slides over a quill and paper. Marvel takes the quill in mouth and writes.

No matter what your mother says after I show her this drawing, you are right.

‘There.’

The counselor seals the note. ‘Thank you. Now, about your son. He has quite an artistic streak.’

‘I have noticed.’

‘Right. Other than that, he seems well-rounded and well-liked. He has some close friends and is very social.’

‘Really? He usually just works on art in his room when at home. I never hear him talking about anypony.’

‘Interesting. He spends a lot of time with Rei and Stormy, since they all have the same classes.’

‘That is good to hear. Glad that my kid and James’ kid are friends.’

‘Yes, well, the only advice I would have is to find a way to encourage him to share his art publicly. I am sure Miss Dart would be willing to make a webpage or something for him.’

‘That is not a bad idea. We’ll definitely look into it. Thank you.’

Marvel and the counselor shake hooves, and he leaves.

Stormy:

The counselor gets out the envelope with Stormy’s note.

‘Oh!’ Rarity gets excited. ‘I didn’t know I would be getting gifts.’

‘If by “gifts” you mean confidential message from Stormy, then yes.’ Rarity sighs and tries lifting the note with her magic. The counselor pulls it down. ‘You have to promise not to get upset with what he has to say.’

Rarity turns her nose up, crosses her heart, makes wing motions with her forelegs, and sticks a hoof to her eye. The counselor sighs and releases the note.

I love Rarity. She is like a big sister to me. I am happy to think of her as family.

Rarity smiles as she tucks the note away. The counselor slides over a quill and paper.

‘Would you like to respond?’

Rarity levitates the quill and paper up.

You are the most wonderful colt I know. I am proud to think of you as a younger brother.

Rarity nods at her handy works and seals the envelope again.

‘Now, about Stormy...’ The counselor begins.

‘I know he is troubled, but he is a good colt,’ Rarity instantly defends.

‘Yes, that is why I must recommend he see a professional counselor.’

Rarity is aghast. ‘Surely, there must be some other option. I know he is...’

The counselor shakes her head. ‘He has a lot of emotional issues. His close friendship with Rei is good, but he is not as open with others. He needs somepony he can go to for advice and to work out his issues.’

‘But he is so sensit...’

‘Rarity. I know you care about him and want what is best for him, but that is professional counseling. He needs to get real help.’

Rarity sighs and looks down. ‘I... I understand.’

Rarity gets up and drags herself out of the office.

Rei:

The counselor gets out a sealed envelope.

‘What did she do this time?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘It is nothing of the sort. This time. If you promise not to punish her for what she wishes to privately tell you, you may see.’

The Wandering Physicist thinks for a moment. He takes the envelope and holds it to his forehead.

‘Rule bending, laughter, and death.’ He rips open the end with his teeth and takes out the note.

We are allowed to say anything here and not get in trouble. Since the word ‘say’ can mean anything regarding speech, I choose to have it mean ‘to ask a question.’ So... knowing the origin of King Sparkle and seeing how he is a fusion of you and Twilight Sparkle, I must know: are you my mommy?

The Wandering Physicist calmly puts the letter away, takes a deep breath, and states matter-of-factly, ‘I am going to kill her.’

‘Um, Mr Wanderer...’

‘I don’t care what I agreed to. She is going to get it.’

‘But...’

‘Trust me. If you know her as well as I do, she has timed it so she is most likely laughing on her bed right now.’

The counselor nervously slides a paper and quill forward. ‘If you would like to respond to her in private...’

The Wandering Physicist quickly picks up the quill.

Since you figured out something to say anything here and not get in trouble, I choose to have ‘say’ mean ‘to ask a question.’ You really think you can ask me that and not get in trouble?

He punctuates the note with a laugh. The counselor sighs as she takes the note.

‘Moving on, I must speak to you about your daughter.’

‘What did she do this time?’

‘That is precisely why I must speak to you about her. I feel she acts out the way she does to get attention.’

‘Really. And you figured this out by knowing why I enrolled her, right?’

‘She has a very small social group and seems to be looking for a way of expanding it, but she does so in a very asocial manner.’ The Wandering Physicist snorts. ‘I know you tried improving her behavior in the past, but I know it did not take. She needs more positive social interaction with her peer group. Sign her up for sports or get her to try out for a play. I have seen her in her classes. She wants to be social, but she does so very awkwardly.’

‘So... More social interaction. Got it. Whatever.’

‘You don’t seem that...’

The Wandering Physicist stands. ‘I have heard the same thing from her teachers. I get the idea. Are we done?’

‘We should really work through the issue of her acting out the way she does. It is getting to be a disruption.’

‘Do any of you bother listening to her side for once? You never hear that she is standing up to bullies. She is being punished for the negative acts of others. She is getting the same treatment that her mother did. I am actually proud of her for having a noble spirit. Now. Can I go?’

The counselor sighs and nods. The Wandering Physicist trots away.

Back at Carousel Boutique, Stormy is in his room listening to music when Rarity knocks on the door and looks in.

‘Stormy? Can we talk?’ Rarity asks.

Stormy stops his music. ‘Sure. What’s up?’

Rarity enters and sits next to him on his bed. ‘I heard some interesting things from your teachers tonight.’ Stormy moans. ‘My thoughts exactly. I was quite upset with some of the things I heard.’

Stormy sighs. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘No need to apologize. I do not see it as your fault. Your counselor actually suggested you get professional help.’

Stormy winces and looks away. Rarity puts a foreleg around Stormy.

‘We will only arrange such a dreadful thing if you so desire.’ Rarity gives Stormy an extra squeeze. ‘I think I have a better solution. I will try to be more open with you as much as possible. And to Sweetie Belle as well. I promise to be a pony you can rely on for anything.’

Stormy looks over and smiles. ‘Thank you. Uh... Did you read..?’

‘Yes, and I would have be honored to think of you as my brother.’

Stormy blushes and smiles. ‘Thanks. ... Hey. As long as we are being more open...’

‘You can tell me anything.’

‘Actually, I wanted to ask you something. ... I was going to visit my mom tomorrow. I would love it if you joined me.’

Rarity chokes back her tears. She grabs Stormy in a full hug. ‘I would be honored.’

The Wandering Physicist returns home to Rei eating a bowl (read: gallon carton) of ice cream while watching television.

‘Hi, mommy!’ Rei greets. A flying notebook greets her in return. Rei giggles as it bounces off her head.

The Wandering Physicist takes a seat next to Rei and puts a foreleg around her. She guards her ice cream. He lets out a long sigh before letting her go.

‘Rei, are you lonely?’

Rei nearly drops the ice cream, but she never lets food touch the ground. ‘Wh-what are you talking about? I have lots of friends! Stormy and Inkie and Image and Dashie... I’m not lonely!’

‘Rei, please don’t lie to me.’

Rei looks down and frowns. ‘My ice cream is getting melty...’

The Wandering Physicist gives Rei a big hug. ‘It is okay. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have. As long as you have great friends you can depend on.’

‘But... They are not always around. How can they be friends if they are not around?’

‘That is just part of being friends. I feel lonely in the brief moments of the day when I am away from you or Lucas or Twilight or Pinkie or Dream or Coal or anypony, but then I remember that you are my friends and family and we will always be friends and family and then I am not lonely any more.’

‘I’ve been alone for so long. It...’

‘It feels horrible to be alone for that long. Then it feels disorienting to have ponies around you that actually want to be around you. You never want to lose that feeling.’

Rei nods and cuddles up against her dad.

‘I know exactly what you are going through since I am at the same place. We both got what we needed at the same time. We can go through everything together.’

Rei sighs and smiles. ‘I love you, otoo-san.’

The Wandering Physicist hugs his daughter. ‘I love you too, Rei-chan.’

Image is sitting at the kitchen table with his parents. DC is analyzing the comic on the back of the note.

‘Well, I can see how you are right in this instance... but not really for our entire catalogue.’

‘Come on, DC. Don’t be too hard. Everypony is entitled to their opinion.’

DC shrugs. ‘You’re right. Now, about that website idea.’

Image groans. ‘Do I really have to?’

‘It is not that bad of an idea.’ Marvel says. ‘It will give you a good outlet and you can take commissions and make some bits on the side.’

Image groans again. ‘Fine, but I have a project for a friends I am working on, so don’t expect me to start anything new until after that.’

‘That’s so sweet!’ DC cheers.

‘We’d never get in the way of your art.’ Marvel agrees.

‘Thanks.’ Image looks around. ‘Can I...’

‘Go ahead.’

Image gets up and trots to his room. Inside, he goes over to a covered table. He pulls back the cover to reveal a half-finished painting of a pegasus flying through the sky. He looks down and smiles at his work. In one of the finished corners, he has written ‘Happy Birthday Rei’ in small letters. Image smiles and picks up his paintbrush.

Bonus Scene

Author's Note

Fun fact: Image's story was written specifically for FiM Fiction. It was originally blank since I had whole essays for Rei and Stormy, and I didn't want to write another. My editor made me go back and write it before I posted it. Also, the essays intentionally had misspellings and bad grammar to keep them consistant with the quality of writing coming out of a public high school (at least in the US). I was forced to edit those too...

Fun fact: What TWP says at the end of Rei's letter is what I think about her too.

RSI and the Confusing Mystery of the Enigmatic Conundrum

Main Characters: Rei, Stormy, Inkie
Cameos: TWP, Lucas, Earth Grainsborough, Twilight, Professor Hayton, Prince Ivory Towers, Vulpe d’Argento/Silver Fox
Original Write Date: 01/04/2012 (Game production started) - 02/18/2012 (Final compilation and edit of the canon path)

Twilight Sparkle is hard at work in the library. With book report season in full swing, the library has seen an overabundance of visitors. She is behind on her work and is finally catching up. As she finishes a stack of papers, she notices something sticking out behind her desk. A simple levitation spell brings in to view. It is a letter she thought she mailed days ago.

‘Ack!’ Twilight shouts. ‘Spike!’

After a pause, Twilight remembers that Spike is away on business in Canterlot. She growls and heads out of her office. When she reaches the entry hall, she notices another problem. Rei is sitting in the middle of the room with a large smile on her face.

‘Hi!’ Rei chirps.

‘What do you want?’ Twilight grumbles.

‘Is Inkie here?’

‘I think she is out taking soil samples for a project. Is that all? I have a bit of an emergency.’

‘Emergency!’ Rei springs up. ‘That sounds like the perfect mission for RSI Adventure Team!’

Twilight facehoofs. ‘Oh dear Celestia.’ She looks up at the beaming Rei. ‘Listen. It is just a letter I have to mail to a colleague in Hoofington.’

‘We can take it there!’

‘Or I can give it to Derpy and be assured that it will arrive, if a little late.’

‘Aww! You don't trust us?’

Twilight sighs. ‘I trust Stormy and Inkie. They are at least responsible.’

Rei slumps in front of the door. ‘Aww! Meanie.’

‘Listen, I have to leave now if I am going to get this to the post office before outgoing mail ends.’

‘Or you can give it to us, and we'll leave right away!’ Rei beams.

‘Rei!’ Twilight turns away. ‘No!’

Rei thinks for a moment. ‘You know there are other advantages to letting us take the letter.’

Twilight just rolls her eyes and groans.

‘Say for instance one or two of us lived with either you or Wanderer-san.’ Twilight's ears perk up. ‘Then we would be out of the town for an indeterminate amount of time. Who knows how long we could be gone and how much private smooching time could be had while we are away?’

Twilight rushes over to Rei and shoves the letter and a bag of bits into the filly's hooves.

‘Take as long as you need. There is no rush.’

Twilight lifts Rei with her magic and carries her out of the door.

‘Hurry! You have to get started on your adventure as soon as possible!’

Twilight gallops away to spread word of her good fortune. Rei sits where she was dumped and cackles to herself. She notices somepony watching her.

‘Hey Inkie!’ Rei grabs her friend in a hug. ‘You smell like vanilla lemon drops today!’

A quick mobile call has gathered all of the members of RSI Adventure Team out front of the train station. All three members have their packs loaded and ready for adventure. Stormy looks less than enthused.

‘Why are we doing this again?' Stormy asks.

‘Because it will be an adventure!' Rei cheer.

‘Zo~~!’ Inkie adds.

Stormy groans. ‘Right. Then why are we going to take obviously several days longer than needed if all Twilight had to do was drop the letter at the post office in five minutes or ask Derpy to slip the letter into her bag as a favor?’

‘Ah! Come on, Stormy! You're no fun!’ Rei pleads.

‘I try to be...’ Stomy sighs.

Rei gives Stormy the saddest face she can muster. Staring into her big, red eyes causes Stormy to break down and sigh a massive sigh.

‘Fine!’ Stormy relents.

‘Great!’ Rei cheers. She gives Stormy a quick peck on the cheek as thanks, causing the magenta unicorn to blush bright red. ‘Now, what is the best way to get to Hoofington?’

‘The family would always walk when we visit from our farm,’ Inkie suggests.

‘We are at the train station,’ Rei notes.

‘You could fly,’ Stormy suggests.

The trio thinks hard about the subject.

Rei, Stormy and Inkie are walking down the road from Ponyville to Hoofington.

A thought strikes Inkie. ‘Hey, if this were a DnD game, we'd have to roll for random encounters right now.’

‘What is DnD?’ Rei asks.

Both Inkie's and Stormy's jaws drop.

‘You with live the biggest nerd in the world and you don't know Dungeons and Dragons!’ Stormy yells.

‘Sheesh.’ Rei rolls her eyes. ‘We deal with real dragons all of the time. Forgive me for not caring about pretend ones.’

‘Um... Spike plays too...’ Inkie mumbles.

‘Ugh.’ Rei moans. ‘I'd rather face a real dragon. Seriously. I can take a kraken.’

Stormy and Inkie groan at yet another kraken reference from Rei. Rei growls at her friends’ reaction and plops to the ground.

‘What now?’ Stormy groans.

‘It is time for lunch.’ Rei huffs. ‘It is something I actually know about. Not like your stupid game or how to set up a proper picnic.’

Stormy groans and takes the hint.

Having stopped briefly for a proper picnic set up by Stormy, the trio is back on the march. They are enjoying the fine weather and great company as they chat their way to Hoofington. Not too long down the road, they hear a wagon approaching from behind. The wagon is being pulled by a pair oxen and is being driven by a dark blue earth pony.

‘Well, howdy!’ The pony greets. 'What is a nice troop of fillies doing out here like this?’

‘Actually, sir...’ Stormy starts before Rei pushes him out of the way.

Rei strikes the sexiest pose she can muster. 'Me and my friends are on our way to our sorority’s annual bikinis and alcohol party in Hoofington. Not that a big strong stallion like you would be interested in that.’

‘Hoofington? Well, shoot! I'm headed there myself. Would you like a lift?’

‘Oh, we'd hate to be a burden. How could we ever repay you?’

‘Just have one of y'all ride up front with me for some company will be good enough.’

‘Thank you!’ Rei cheers with the biggest smile.

‘You're the one riding up front.’ Stormy grumbles at Rei.

Rei starts heading to the front of the wagon, but the earth pony stops her.

'No, no. The unicorn.’

Stormy grimaces He looks back at his friends, but Rei has already rushed around the cart so she can listen in to any conversation that takes place. Inkie looks nervous for her friend but resigns him to his fate. Stormy sighs and climbs up next to the driver. Once the travelers are on the wagon, the driver starts the journey again.

‘Pretty long trip to Hoofington,' the driver says.

Stormy just nods.

‘Sounds like you have a wild party ahead of you.’

Stormy gives out an annoyed grumble.

The driver puts a foreleg across Stormy's shoulder. ‘Say, why don't we put that horn of yours to good use?’

Stormy pales and pushes away from the driver. A laugh is heard from the back of the wagon.

‘Whoa! Okay. I was going to be civil for my friend's sake, but that is too far. I am not a filly!’

The driver smiles at Stormy. ‘I know.’

Stormy's face drops. The driver leans in close. Suddenly, the entire front of the wagon explodes, and the driver is sent flying into the air. A trail of magical smoke is coming from Stormy's horn. The oxen look back then take off running. From the exposed back of the wagon, Rei is rolling around laughing as hard as she possibly can. The oxen look back again.

‘Thank you for taking care of him,’ one of the oxen says.

‘You would not believe the things he has done to us,’ the other adds.

‘Did you hear what he wanted me to do!?’ Stormy shouts. ‘I would believe you!’

The oxen nod and keep running down the road to Hoofington.

With the help of the oxen, the group is arrived in Hoofington ahead of schedule. After thanking their new bovine friends, the trio set off into the city with Stormy feeling worse for wear.

‘Finally made it,’ Stormy huffs as he falls to the ground.

‘That was a nice trip,’ Inkie comments.

‘New city!’ Rei cheers as she starts taking in the sights.

A hoof to the tail keeps Rei from flying away.

‘We came here for a reason,’ Stormy states.

‘Right! We're on an adventure!’ Rei takes to the sky as much as she can. ‘We need to find out where the killer is hiding!’

‘Zo~~!’ Inkie adds.

Stormy's eye twitches. ‘Killer? What killer?’

‘Okay. We need to find the thief before he can strike again!’

‘Zo~~!’

Stormy facehoofs. ‘Rei. Just give it a rest. Let's just find where we have to take the letter and get it over with.'

Rei's stomach grumbles, and she falls to the ground. 'So hungry.’

‘You're such a pain,’ Stormy grumbles.

‘Knowing Rei, we are going to be here for a few days,’ Inkie postulates. Rei smiles and nods. ‘We should find a nice place to stay while in town.’

‘Twilight gave us a lot of bits, so let's stay somewhere nice!’ Rei cheers.

Stormy thinks. ‘Well, according to Fashion Weekly, The Falabella is the most stylish hotel in the city.’

The fillies stare at Stormy.

Stormy blushes. ‘Rarity leaves it out! What else am I going to read when working the front of the store?’

The fillies shake their head and head off into the city.

The Falabella is a multistory hotel with a neomodern design. Stormy and Inkie stand in front of the building, in awe of the type of architecture they have never seen in their relatively country and small-town lifestyles. Rei shrugs off the design and her shocked friends as she enters the building.

‘Needs a giant neon billboard for ramen out front,’ Rei comments.

Inkie and Stormy follow their leader and are even more taken by the interior design.

‘The cruise ship was fancy, but this is just...’ Inkie gapes.

‘I’ve never seen an indoor koi pond,’ Stormy remarks.

Rei rolls her eyes at her friends for once. ‘Geez. You're embarrassing me. Try not to act like rubes the whole time we are here.’

Rei takes a second to put on the fake Luna tiara she got from the princess before approaching the reception desk. Before her is a large silver earth pony with a long platinum mane and his massive entourage. He is arguing with the desk manager.

‘What do you mean, my room isn't ready!’ He shouts slamming a hoof on the desk. ‘I reserved the royal suite the same day I scheduled the antiquity show at your museum, or did you think the rush of customers for the event was mere coincidence?’

‘I-I-I’m sorry, sir. Sapphire Shores was the last guest to stay there while on concert tour. You know how those pop stars like to party.’

‘If I am correct, Miss Shores’ concert was over a week ago,’ Rei interjects. ‘What is the real reason you are holding up the prince?’

The scared clerk panics at being called out. He looks from the newcomer to the angry customer before him. He cowers behind the desk.

‘Last night was my sister's wedding. I loaned her the room for the night to celebrate. They just left this morning, and the sanitizers were late in starting the purification of your suite.’

The angry earth pony eases up and steps back. ‘You could have just said so. A little honesty goes far.’ He turns away. ‘I’ll be partaking of your recreational facilities while my room is being finished.’ He glances back at Rei. ‘It is good seeing another royal in town for the event.’

Rei gives the earth pony a small bow before he marches off to another part of the hotel, leaving his entourage to settle the room arrangements. The clerk lets out a relieved sigh before turning to Rei. He panics a little at the sight of the tiara on Rei's head.

‘How, how may I help you?’

‘My friends and I would like a room for an indefinite amount of time. It need not be too fancy.’

‘Right away!’

The clerk starts searching the computer for a suitable room for Rei's group. He slips her their key cards once everything is arranged.

‘Thank you.' Rei bows slightly. ‘We still have more of the city to see, so I will assume the room is more than adequate.’

‘It will be. It is! I'll see to it personally.’ The clerk hurries from behind the desk and gallops away to oversee the arrangements for both of his customers.

Rei laughs as she rejoins her friends. She puts the tiara away and gives the key cards to her friends.

‘A little princess goes a long way,’ She laughs.

‘How did you... What did you... Who was that?’ Stormy stammers.

‘The noble? I am surprised you don't recognize him.’

'We aren't all personal apprentices to Luna,’ Stormy grumbles.

‘That was Ivory Towers. He is the current head of the earth pony family that founded Equestria over a thousand years ago. He is a great patron of Equestrian antiquity and artefacts. He is showing some of his personal collection at the Hoofington Museum, with a special gala later this week.’

‘I never thought you would be so well-connected,' Inkie marvels. ‘Not even Twilight knows many nobles outside of the princesses.’

‘Hey! Let's see more of the town!’ Rei exclaims as she drags her friends out of the hotel.

‘Shouldn’t we take care of the letter before you forget again?’ Stormy jibes.

Rei holds up the letter Twilight gave her to read it.

‘Looks like this goes to Hoofington College.’ Rei flies up. ‘To the learning building place!’

Inkie forces down a scream at the horrible wording.

The trio make their way to the college. Inkie gets really excited seeing the college and all of the stallions and mares going about their higher learning. There are signs and banners everywhere talking about an artefact exhibit at the museum on campus. The group finds a kiosk with a map.

‘Looks like we want Building Three.’ Inkie says and starts heading off.

‘That seems to be the physics depart...’ Stormy starts before catching Inkie by the tail.

‘This way!’ Rei says, striking a pose.

Rei flies towards a building while Stormy drags Inkie behind her. They make their way to a building with the sign ‘Faculty Offices’ out front. They enter the building and start navigating the halls. They come across an office with books spilling into the hall. Rei knocks on the open door.

‘Come in! Come in!’ A light orange unicorn with a light brown mane cheers.

The group enters the cramped office as best as possible. The unicorn is drinking a cup of tea, and there is a brown top hat beside him.

‘Welcome! How may I help you?’ The unicorn greets.

‘Hi!’ Rei chirps. ‘We have a letter from Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville for you.’

Rei sets the letter on the crowded desk.

‘Ah! Excellent!’ The unicorn levitates the letter so he can read it. ‘I was worried that she had forgotten me.’

‘That was all we came for,’ Rei says. ‘Be seeing ya!’

‘Not so fast. We just met. Care for a spot of tea?’ The unicorn offers.

‘We really should be seeing more of the city while we're here...’

‘Nonsense. There is plenty of time for that. Besides, your friend might wish to finish her book first.’

Rei looks, and Inkie is buried in a book. Rei sighs and finds a place to sit.

‘Good, good. I am Professor Hayton,’ the unicorn introduces. ‘And who are the wonderful friends of Miss Sparkle I am meeting today?’

‘I am Rei. This is Stormy and the nerd is Inkie.’ Rei explains.

‘Not The Rei!’ Hayton exclaims. ‘The way Miss Sparkle writes about you, I assumed you were just one of her stress-induced fantasies again like that Pinkie Pie character she refers to often.’

‘Hey!’ Inkie shouts. ‘Pinkie is my big sister!’

‘Terribly sorry,’ Hayton apologizes. ‘What brings you three to Hoofington? Are you here for the exhibit?’

‘We only just heard of the exhibit today,’ Stormy explains. ‘Can you tell us more about it?’

‘Tell you! Good sir, I could show you.’ Hayton laughs. ‘I am the head archaeologist for the exhibition. We are showing a number of rare and, some say, magical artefacts on loan from Prince Ivory Towers himself.’

‘That sounds pretty interesting.’ Stormy turns to Rei. ‘What do you think?’

Rei ponders the new information. ‘It does sound pretty fun. Something we all might like too, but I still really want to see more of the city, if that is okay.’

‘Perfectly fine!’ Hayton cheers. ‘Come by the museum tomorrow, and I will give you the behind-the-scenes tour.'

‘That is great!’ Inkie shouts. ‘I can't wait to see all of the artefacts!’

After chatting more with Professor Hayton, the group makes their way off campus.

‘What to do next?’ Rei ponders. Her empty stomach answers for everypony.

‘I know a good Istallion place we would go to when I was a kid,’ Inkie suggests.

‘Sounds good,’ Rei replies.

Inkie leads the group to a restaurant. Outside, there are a lot of ponies with cameras watching the inside. They part as the group approaches and let them into the restaurant. They have to drag Rei with them when she tries to get the photographers to take pictures of her. A waiter shows the group to a table despite the crowd outside.

‘What is going on?’ Stormy asks.

‘They must have been waiting for me,’ Rei replies.

Stormy rolls his eyes.

‘I don't know...’ Inkie says. ‘I don't remember this place as being so popular.’

‘I told you. They are here for me,’ Rei brags. ‘Must have heard of Rei the Kraken Slayer.’

Inkie facehoofs. ‘Just because you showed up smelling like squid guts doesn't mean you really fought a kraken.’

‘But I...!’

‘Now I get it!’ Stormy interrupts. ‘Over there.’

Stormy points over to another table. A light green pegasus with a short, dark pink mane is at a table by herself. All of the ponies in the restaurant are looking over at her, and she seems to be getting special attention from the staff.

‘That is Vulpe d’Agento,’ Stormy explains. ‘She is a major actress of Istallion descent. She stars in a show about a professional thief. Critics love it for the realism, but that is what security experts hate about it. They say the robberies her characters perform could compromise security at major institutions. She has even written and directed several episodes of the show herself despite her young age.’

Both the fillies stare at the colt in disbelief.

Stormy growls. ‘So I read Rarity’s magazines when I am bored. Big deal.’

Stormy grumbles and goes back to his menu. Inkie follows suit. Rei looks over at Vulpe some more. Vulpe looks back and makes eye contact. The pegasi exchange glances before turning back to their tables.

After a filling lunch, the group is planning their next move. Rei is trying to lick all of the marinara sauce covering her face.

‘So... What now?’ Inkie asks.

‘City time!’ Rei cheers while doing a small air flip.

After hours of exploring more of the city, Inkie and Stormy are really tired. Rei continues to fly around in total fascination of everything she sees. Her desire to see everything even got building security called on the group when Rei flew up to the windows of the various office complexes. The group has moved on to a more suburban part of the city with mostly small shops. The two ground-based ponies are dragging themselves from shop to shop as Rei rushes from about to see all of the wares.

‘I cannot wait to get back and rest for the day,’ Stormy moans.

‘I know,' Inkie agrees. 'Even us earth ponies don't have the stamina to keep up with her.’

Rei runs past. ‘Ooo! What is that!’

The friends moan and follow Rei as she heads to another shop. While he waits outside of the shop for Rei, Stormy notices something down the street. A pair of unicorns are coming out of a flower shop. He nudges Inkie and points.

‘Hey. Is that Lucas with that mare?’

‘Where!’ Rei shouts as she bolts from the shop.

Rei follows where Stormy is pointing. Indeed, it is Lucas talking with a pink mare. They laugh at a joke, and she gives Lucas a friendly nuzzle. Rei growls and gallops down the street.

‘Lucas!’ Rei yells.

Lucas turns. ‘Oh. Hey Rei. What brings you to Hoofington?’

‘What brings you to Hoofington indeed!’ Rei shouts back.

Lucas is confused by Rei's behavior. ‘Uh... I am here visiting my family and checking out the exhibit. I told you and boss that before I left four days ago.’

‘Likely story,’ Rei snaps. ‘If you really said you were leaving, I would remember that.’

Lucas stares at Rei blankly. He turns to the mare next to him. ‘Earth, this is Rei, my boss’ kid. Rei, this is my sister, Earth.’

Rei glares at Earth as she takes her in. She snorts. ‘I guess that checks out. You wouldn't be able to get a mare this cute no matter how hard you tried.’

Earth starts giggling at her brother. Lucas gives a big sigh.

‘Thanks, Rei.’

Inkie and Stormy finally catch up to their leader. Both are out of breath from the twenty-meter walk they just made.

‘Hey Lucas,’ Stormy pants.

‘Water,’ Inkie moans before sticking her muzzle in one of the flower displays and drinking the runoff.

‘More friends of yours, Lucas?’ Earth asks.

‘Right. This is Strawberry and Inkie. Guys, this is my sister Earth.’

‘I prefer Stormy,’ Stormy replies. He thinks for a moment. ‘Wait. Earth Grainsborough? Like...’

Earth groans. ‘Yes.’

‘And you run a flower shop too?’

‘Yes.... And if you don't want another crack in that horn of yours, I would drop the subject if I were you.’

Stormy smirks. ‘I see where Lucas learned his manners.’

‘Anyway. Rei was just about to tell us what she was doing in town,’ Lucas interrupts. ‘Seeing you two now... You know what. I still don't get it.’

‘Well, we were just going to deliver a letter for Twilight,’ Stormy answers.

‘But now that nice professor is going to give us a personal tour of the exhibit tomorrow!’ Inkie squeals, stray flowers sticking in her mane after her drink.

‘Wait. You met Professor Hayton?’ Lucas asks.

‘You know him?’ Inkie replies, picking the flowers from her mane.

‘He was Lucas’ mentor before he moved to Ponyville. They used to go on adventures and solve mysteries. Isn't that right, Luke?’ Earth explains as she takes the flowers from Inkie.

Lucas laughs. ‘It was a fun and interesting time. I haven't been able to see him yet. I really should stop by his office before I leave.’

‘You better,’ Earth warns. ‘You missed seeing him last time you were in town. You owe him at least a visit after he taught you so much.’

‘Yes, sister,’ Lucas moans.

‘Well, we better be going.’ Rei interrupts. ‘We should get back to our suite so we can plan our night. Lots of big plans, right Stormy?’

Rei gives Stormy a playful nuzzle to get Lucas jealous. She knows it works from the glare Lucas gives the younger colt. She fails to notice the jealous frown from Inkie.

‘Getting back and resting sounds like a great idea,’ Stormy sighs.

‘A shower, too,’ Inkie agrees.

‘Then it is settled,’ Rei smiles. ‘Let’s get back to our room, Stormy-kun.’

The group starts walking back to their hotel. Rei rubs up against Stormy as they leave. Lucas growls after the leaving group. Earth laughs at her brother.

After a nice dinner at Falabella’s five-star restaurant, the trio retires to their room. Stormy rests on one of the two beds. Rei stares off the room's balcony. A door opens, and Inkie comes out of the bathroom. She has a towel wrapped around the head.

‘Nothing beats a nice shower,’ Inkie sighs.

Rei turns back to the room. ‘Now, that we are all rested, let's get out back there.’

Both Inkie and Stormy groan.

‘Rei, we have already seen the city,’ Stormy sighs. ‘What more do you hope to see at night?’

‘We have to get out there and stop the thief from striking.’

Stormy groans loudly. ‘Rei. There is no thief!’

‘Yes there is! Weren't you paying attention earlier!’

‘The only “thief” we saw is a character played by an actress. You are only acting crazy.’

‘I am not acting crazy! There is a thief out there. We have to stop it before it is too late!’

‘Right. Just like you were only cuddling up to me earlier because you like me and not to make Lucas jealous.’

‘That was... Well, I do like you, too. How can I not like my Stormy-kun?’

Stormy sighs. ‘Whatever. I am staying here. Do whatever you want.’

‘Fine! We don't need your help, right, Inkie-chan?’

Inkie plops down. ‘Why should I go with you?’

‘What? Because we are a great team. Rei-chan and Inkie-chan!’

Inkie looks away. ‘Whatever.’

Rei growls. ‘FINE! I'll go on my own. Then I will be the hero when the thief is caught!’

Rei stomps out of the room. Inkie and Stormy sigh over the fight with their friend. Inkie picks herself up and goes to the door.

‘I am going to go out for a bit too.’

‘What for?’

‘I... I just want to clear my head a little.’

‘Why’d you get upset with Rei? You like her or something?’

Inkie blushes and turns away. ‘Whatever. She only likes you guys. Not like I matter...’

Inkie sighs and leaves the room. Stormy watches Inkie leave and shakes his head.

‘The way Rei reacts just for seeing Inkie, how can she not like her?’

After scouting the city, Rei returns to the hotel. She stretches her limbs then lands and stretches her wings before entering the building. As she looks around the lobby, she notices the large figure of Ivory Towers and his smaller aide standing in the lobby. Rei quickly dons her princess tiara and even finds the matching shoes and slips them on before making her way across the lobby. Ivory Towers stop talking with his aide and approaches Rei as she passes.

‘Excuse me. Miss,’ Ivory calls.

Rei looks back as regally as she can. ‘Yes?’

Ivory bows slightly. ‘I failed to introduce myself when you came to my aid earlier. I am...’

‘Prince Ivory Towers, head of the earth pony founders,’ Rei fills in. ‘I recognize you from Princess Luna's social three months ago.’

‘Hmm. Indeed. I thought you looked familiar. May I ask your name?’

Rei bows. ‘Princess Full Moon from Neighpon. Charmed.’

‘Hmm. I have not heard of a princess from Neighpon.’

‘I have kept a relatively low profile. I have been touring Equestria covertly. This is just my most recent stop. I look forward to seeing your exhibition.’

‘Why, thank you. A number of my most prized artefacts will be on display. A number of other nobles have even donated some of their artefacts to the show as well.’

‘Fascinating. Is there any object I should take special note of?’

‘Good question.’ Ivory thinks for a moment. ‘I would have to say my Helm of Clover is an interesting piece. I have Professor Hayton at the college examining it personally before it goes on display.’

‘I have a meeting with Professor Hayton in tomorrow. Maybe I will get a sneak preview.’

‘I would hope so! It is an amazing piece!’

The aide steps forward and clears his throat. Ivory Towers leans down as something is whispered into his ear.

‘Oh dear.’ He turns back to Rei. ‘I was supposed to meet somepony here, but it seems the location has been changed. If you will excuse me.’

Ivory Towers bows again and heads toward the lifts. Rei thinks for a moment before heading to the concierge.

‘Excuse me. Do you perchance know who Prince Towers was meeting?’

The concierge looks up for a moment before screaming and ducking under the desk.

‘I am sorry, ma'am. I do not know. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?’

Rei gives the poor concierge the most regally disdainful look she can muster before an evil grin creeps over her face.

Stormy is awakened by a knocking at the door. He looks around the room to confirm the others made it back during the night. On the other bed, Inkie is sprawled out asleep. Rei is on top of her friend with her muzzle buried deep in Inkie’s mane. Stormy sighs and grumbles jealously as he gets out of bed. He grumbles more about the wet towel that once contained ice cubes that a mysterious pegasus visitor was using as an ice pack. The bad mood is evident in Stormy's eyes when he answers the door.

‘What,’ The angry unicorn colt growls right when the door opens.

The concierge flinches at yet another angry pony in his hotel.

‘The, the basket of oranges I was asked to deliver,’ he peeps, holding the basket of fruit in front of him.

Stormy sighs and takes the fruit back into the room leaving the concierge with the gratuity of keeping his life. Stormy sets the basket on the table and climbs back into bed. From their bed, Rei starts sniffing.

‘Inkie-chan smells like oranges... Oranges!’

Rei scrambles over Inkie, knocking them both to the floor. Inkie moans as Rei climbs over her to get at the oranges.

‘Sooo~~~ good!’ Rei moans as she starts feasting on the oranges.

Inkie groans and picks herself up. She grumbles as she looks around the room and notices the wet spot on the back of her head. Her scan of the room reveals an empty bag. Inkie rushes over to the bag and screams in shock.

‘My flowers!’ Inkie cries.

‘Oh! Thank you for those.’ Rei replies. ‘They were a yummy late night snack.’

Inkie stares in shock. ‘I got those to experiment on! Why would you take something that isn't yours! YOU IDIOT!’

Rei shrinks as small as she can, an easy feat since Inkie is the taller of the two. ‘I'm sorry.’

‘You're sorry! That's it? Just sorry?’

Rei starts crying in fear. ‘But... but... Those grow all around Ponyville. C-ca-can I get you more when we get back?’

Inkie is surprised. ‘What? They are?’ Rei nods. ‘Oh. I'm so sorry for getting mad at you.’

Rei whimpers as Inkie comes over and comforts her friend.

‘Don't forget to kiss and make out,’ Stormy mumbles from his bed.

The girls look up in shock.

‘... Up! I meant up!’

After getting cleaned up and having breakfast, the trio makes their way to the college for their tour with Professor Hayton. The campus is a lot busier than it was the previous day. There is more talk about the exhibit too. When the group reaches the museum, there is a massive crowd out front and campus police are maintaining crowd control.

‘Good thing we have an in,’ Stormy mumbles.

The group makes their way around the building to the staff offices. Outside of the building, they encounter Lucas and Earth again. The siblings wave as their friends approach.

‘Morning!’ Lucas calls. 'So good to see you again.'

‘Lucas!’ Rei cheers as she hugs her friend. She gives Earth a jealous glare, confusing the older filly further.

‘What are you doing here?’ Stormy asks.

‘Well, you mentioned that you were going to see my old mentor,’ Lucas explains. ‘I have been meaning to see him again, and I brought my sister along for the visit.’

‘Pfft. Sister,’ Rei snorts. ‘Likely story.’

Everypony else rolls their eyes at Rei.

‘Anyway, let’s head on in. The professor is probably waiting for us,’ Lucas says.

Rei lets Lucas up. The group heads to the building, but they are blocked by security.

‘Sorry. No entry,’ Security states.

‘What? Why not?’ Lucas asks.

‘There was a theft last night. One of the professors has also gone missing. This building is closed to the public.’

Rei steps to the front and stands as imposing as a young, short, skinny pegasus can be. ‘Do you know who you are talking to?’

‘Some scrawny kid?’ The guard quips.

Rei growls at the guard. 'I am Tsukiyo Rei. Personal apprentice to Princess Luna. We are here on official business for Princess Twilight Sparkle. If you do not let us through, you will have to answer to the princesses why their apprentices cannot complete their tasks.’

The larger earth pony guard is visibly scared of the diminutive pegasus. He stands aside and lets the group enter the building. Rei gives him one last snort as she enters. They make their way towards Professor Hayton’s office, but there are more police outside the office. The group ducks aside to avoid being seen.

‘It seems the professor is the one that is missing,’ Earth comments.

‘We have to save him! I'll solve every puzzle to get him back!’ Lucas declares.

‘Easy there,’ Earth comforts.

‘Hmm.... This is all coming together now...’ Rei ponders.

‘What is coming together?’ Inkie asks.

Rei paces for a couple moments. ‘The thief struck last night while... Hmm... It is most likely... Hmm... I must speak with her...’

‘What is she..?’ Earth asks.

‘Shh!’ The others hiss.

‘Aha! The game is ahoof!’ Rei shouts. ‘The professor has been taken and the object has been stolen! I have almost all of the pieces to the puzzle and the players are all on the board. We just need to put them all together at the right moment.’

‘Seriously. What is she on about?’ Earth asks.

‘Inkie!’ Inkie salutes. ‘Get to the main museum and see what you can find there. Observe everything!’

‘Got it!’

‘Stormy! You have the professor's office. Find his most recent research.’

Stormy rolls his eyes and gives a half-salute.

‘Lucas! Take the hussy and investigate under the building. I have a good feeling about that.’

‘Hussy!’ Earth shrieks.

‘All right, Rei-Team!’

‘RSI’ Stormy whispers.

‘All right, RSI! Let’s roll!’

Lucas and Earth are exploring the tunnels under the college. Lucas is maintaining a light spell on his horn as he leads his sister around. Earth is thinking to herself.

‘HMPF!’ Earth snorts.

Lucas sighs. ‘What now?’

‘Why couldn't you stay here?’ Earth asks. ‘You could be studying magic with Professor Hayton and developing your powers further.’

‘Not this again.’

‘You better believe this again. I still can't believe you turned down that scholarship to go to Celestia's School.’

‘Yeah, and my boss would be dating me instead of Twilight,’ Lucas groans.

Earth snorts again. ‘If one of your mentors were here right now, what would he say?’

Lucas puts a hoof to his chin and thinks.
“A true gentleman respects the opinions of others.” Professor Hayton’s words ring in Lucas’ mind. Lucas keeps thinking. “Lucas, you’re fired. Come in early tomorrow.” The Wandering Physicist’s words also ring in Lucas’ mind.

‘Hmm... Earth. I respect your opinion.’ Lucas says. ‘But as Miss Rarity would say, “A true lady respects the opinions of others.” Can you respect my choice?’

Earth glares. ‘You're just trying to dodge the issue again, aren't you?’

‘Oh my Luna! What is that!’ Lucas shouts as he gallops away.

Earth growls as gives chase. She finds Lucas standing over a large bipedal canine creature. He is using his magic to check the creature's injuries.

‘A Diamond Dog?’ Earth says. ‘What would one of them be doing down here?’

‘He has massive electrical burns over his body,’ Lucas comments.

‘So he was chewing the wiring. I guess that is a better way to learn a lesson than a rolled up newspaper.’

‘No, look at this.’ Lucas rolls the Diamond Dog over to reveal a scorch mark on the creature’s chest. ‘This was a directed blast. Earth, I need your help to heal him.’

‘Lucas, I appreciate your compassion but...’

‘EARTH! Just do this. It doesn't matter that he isn't a pony. A life is a life. You of all ponies should know that.’

Earth sighs and joins her brother in casting curative magic on the Diamond Dog. A light aura surrounds the Diamond Dog. Slowly, his breathing becomes regular and he is able to open his eyes.

‘That monster,’ the Diamond Dog croaks. ‘The bad pony must be stopped.’

‘Shh,' Lucas calms. ‘You are still very injured. We’ll make sure you are tended to.’ He looks up. ‘Earth?’

‘On it.’

Earth gallops away to get help while Lucas stays to tend to the Diamond dog.

‘Dun dun dun du~un. Du~un. Dun dun dun du~un. Du~un.’ Rei 'sings' as she sneaks around the museum. ‘Da da dun. Da da du~un. Da da dun. Da da du~...’

‘AHEM!’

Rei turns to see a very angry police officer standing behind her.

‘Problem, officer?’ she smiles.

Inkie is furtively searches the museum for clues. She uses all of the Pie Family stealth tactics to avoid security guards, cameras and investigating police officers. She peeks out of a bin and sees Ivory Towers standing beside an empty display case. Inkie quickly relocates herself to a suit of Pre-Classical pegasus battle armor to observe him closer. Ivory Towers’ aide comes galloping up.

‘I am sorry, sir. I did not mean to take this long,’ the aide says.

‘Is there any trace of him?’ Ivory asks.

‘Not a one. All of the loose ends have been tied up.’

Ivory nods. ‘And the thief?’

‘There are no leads there, but the police just picked up a suspicious pegasus not too long ago. There doesn't seem to be a connection to our... consultant.’

‘As long as suspicion is avoided... I just want this wrapped up and done.’

‘If all goes well... Is that statue blinking?’

Inkie’s eyes dart down to notice her mobile blinking to show she has a new message. The two stallions start moving in to investigate. Inkie panics and dashes away as fast as she can. Ivory Towers picks up a piece of the armor.

‘Tell the guards there is another pegasus about.’

Rei sits in a jail cell. She happily hums to herself as she waits. Shouting is heard down the hall. The police escort another pegasus to the cell and lock her in with Rei. The pegasus smoothes her pink mane and turns to the officer.

‘I demand you release me!’ The pegasus shouts. ‘I am innocent.’

The officer groans. ‘Your picture came up on our list of possible suspects.’

‘What for! This is brutality!’

‘Ma'am. There is security footage of you taking pictures of the cameras and the displays yesterday.’

‘Isn't one supposed to take pictures of the displays?’

‘The pictures of the cameras is the disconcerting part.’

‘That still proves nothing. I was just doing research for my show!’

The officer sighs. ‘There is also considerable footage of you around the display for the artefact that got stolen.’

‘Again. Proves nothing. Just more research.’ The pegasus sits and crosses her forelegs. ‘Besides. You are investigating all wrong.’

The officer growls at the pegasus. ‘Fine. Then how would you have done it, miss actress?’

‘Well, if you had half a clue about the security for the display, you would know that the the case has a touch-sensitive alarm with no less than three cameras aimed at it. If I were the thief, the alarm would have been sounded, I would have been filmed and my hoofprints would be all over the case.’ The officer glares. ‘If you or your colleagues had half a brain, you would know the only way to get around those security measures would be to reroute the power to the display case, which looks like it is handled under the display.’ She looks away and huffs. ‘You should be looking under the building instead of harassing innocent civilians.’

The officer growls and starts trotting away. ‘I am so glad we Mare-andized you already.’

The officer closes the door to the holding area, leaving the pegasi in the cell. The pink-maned pegasus growls and starts fussing with her hair. She stops and sniffs the air.

‘What smells like an orange smoothie?’

She turns around to see Rei watching her.

‘Hi!’ Rei greets. ‘I'm Rei! Who are you?’

The pegasus sighs. ‘Great. So you saw that whole thing.’

‘Sounds like you have a lot of experience with security things.’

‘That is one way of looking at it.’

Rei tilts her head to one side. ‘How old are you?’

‘WHAT?!’

‘Well, it looks like you have a few grey hairs.’

The pegasus growls. ‘I can assure you my main is perfectly uniform in color.’ She quickly turns around and starts checking her mane in a mirror.

Rei giggles. ‘So what is your name?’

The pegasus glares back. ‘I am Vulpe.’

‘Really? You look like a Silver based on your cutie mark.’

‘It is Vulpe! Got it?’

‘Okay!’ Rei hops up and trots over to Vulpe. She takes the new pegasus in. ‘I really hope I see more of you.’ She sticks her head between the bars. ‘Guard! I would like to make my phone call now!’

Inkie, Stormy, Lucas, and Earth are standing outside of Hoofington’s hospital. Rei flies up with a large smile on her face. She lands and trots over to the group.

‘Where have you been?’ Stormy asks.

‘I was arrested! Luna had to bail me out! It was fun!’ Rei cheers.

Everypony facehooves.

‘Definitely his kid,’ Lucas moans.

‘What did I miss?’ Rei asks.

‘We were just going over everything we found out leading to Lucas’ discovery,’ Inkie explains.

‘Since then, we have been waiting out here for you.’ Stormy adds.

‘Is the Diamond Dog okay?’ Rei asks.

‘Earth and I were able to stabilize him before the EMTs arrived.’ Lucas explained. ‘If we arrived any later, he might not be alive right now.’

Rei gives Lucas a light hug. ‘You are a great pony for helping out like that. I am very proud of you.’

Lucas blushes. ‘Thank you.’

Rei backs away. ‘So. What else did all of you find?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After some explanation, Rei has a better picture of what everypony has found. She also shared her conversation with Vulpe with the others, making Earth jealous that no autographs were gotten. Rei is pacing midair a bit as she analyzes the information. The others are sitting or standing around thinking.

‘If there is a connection here, I don't really see one.’ Stormy says.

‘I think I have one, but did he really do it?’ Inkie says.

‘He? No, the pieces add up to her doing it,’ Lucas replies.

Rei stops her pacing and smirks. ‘Well, we'll just have to gather all of the parties and run through the evidence against them. Only then,’-- she puts on a pair of sunglasses -- ‘will we dig up the artefact.’

Earth facehooves. ‘Yeeeeeeaaaaaah.... She is insane, right?’

Rei has gathered her friends and the prime suspects in the college library. Fortunately, Stormy and Lucas were able to convince her not to install a fireplace for dramatic effect. Ivory Towers is looking over the other ponies in the room with a suspicious eye. His aide is frantically going over their schedule to figure out how much this diversion will change everything. Vulpe d’Argento is grumbling to herself about the whole situation. Rei is pacing in front of her audience as the tension builds.

‘Can we get on with this!’ Vulpe shouts. ‘This is an asinine waste of time.’

‘I highly agree,’ the aide concurs. ‘The prince's time is very valuable.’

‘And mine is not?’ Vulpe huffs. ‘First, this crazy filly gets me out of jail. Now, she is the one accusing me of theft. It is insane!’

‘But you are a great thief. Are you not, Silver Fox?’ Rei says as she stops and smirks towards Vulpe.

‘Well, yes. I am the best, but...’ She pauses. ‘Where did you learn that name?’

‘It became quite clear who you really are after I learned that Prince Towers hired you.’

‘That is absurd!’ Ivory yells. ‘I never met her before in my life.’

Rei raises a hoof. ‘Ah! But you have! Maybe not as Vulpe, but you have met several times with Silver Fox, her true identity.’

‘This is crazy!’ Vulpe shouts.

‘As is your assumed identity. Vulpe d’Argento is clearly Istallion for Silver Fox. Anypony with a simple translation dictionary can figure that out.’

‘And why do you assume I am a thief?’

Rei laughs. ‘Because you are. Or were. Your record with the authorities in Canterlot is quite an impressive one. The fact that you turned white hat and became a security consultant, thereby putting your talent to good use, does not change who you really are.’

‘Idiocy.’ Vulpe rolls her eyes.

‘More idiotic than relying on a spell that reacts to temperature?’ Rei looks to her friends. ‘Lucas?’

Lucas sighs. ‘Sorry, Miss d’Argento.’

Lucas casts a wind spell that blows across the room. When the cool blast hits Vulpe, her shiny green coat changes to a common brown but her neon pink mane become a striking silver-grey.

‘How did you...!’

‘Quite simple. Really.’ Rei grins. ‘In our town of Ponyville, we have a Zebra potion mistress ourselves. A simple color change potion can be easily bought at most Zebra-run potion shops, like the one here in Hoofington or in Canterlot. Not to mention the pink stain left on this,’ -- she holds up a hotel towel with large pink spot on it -- ‘towel is quite clearly runoff from your spell, thus explaining the gray hairs I saw during our earlier incarceration. You needed to re-dye your hair in haste this morning before you made any public appearances.’ She laughs. ‘Not to mention the garish colors of your disguise are good to throw the police off your normally drab colors.’

Silver Fox growls and looks away.

‘I still don't see why I am here,’ Ivory says. ‘If she really is a thief, then she should be taken to the authorities.’

‘You forget,' Rei begins, ‘I pointed out that you were the one who hired her.’

‘I highly doubt you will find a connection between the two of us.’

‘Ah! But I also pointed out that Silver Fox does security consulting. She has many high-profile clients, including palace security for the princesses. Her show is simply a cover where she can recount her escapades publicly.’

‘You also said that Miss Fox...’ Ivory starts.

‘I prefer Silver...’ Silver murmurs.

‘My apologies. Anyway, you said that Miss Silver has a long criminal record with authorities in Canterlot. All the more reason for her to be the prime suspect.’

‘I never said she wasn’t,’ Rei states. ‘I was just working on her connection to you and how you came to hire her to be here at this time.’

Ivory snorts. ‘I am all ears.’

‘Well, to be honest, the connection is quite simple. Since she consults with the nobles and companies, you keep her activities under wraps. Since you are one of the leaders of the security council, it is no surprise that you have had contact with Silver and would know how to get hold of her.’

‘Logical, if true.’

None of this even proves I had anything to do with this theft,’ Silver complains. ‘All it does is expose my private secrets to a bunch of strangers. If anypony here would respect my privacy, I would have guessed it would have been the other pegasus.’

Rei bows. ‘I am truly sorry, but I needed to set the groundwork to prove how this crime occurred.’

‘I quite agree,’ a voice says from the back of the library. ‘I am afraid some of the pieces eluded my grasp, and I was hoping Miss Rei would fill them in for me.’

Everypony looks around to see Professor Hayton step forward.

‘Professor!’ Lucas calls.

‘Good to see you again, Luke. I hope I didn't worry you too much.’

‘Everypony thinks you are missing or somehow caught up in the robbery,’ Lucas replies.

‘Celestia forbid! I was out investigating the mystery myself. Fortunately, Miss Rei left a note for me with the police. I rushed over as soon as I was done presenting my findings with them.’

‘Then you know who did it, professor?’ Lucas asks.

‘I have an inkling, but I defer the floor to Miss Rei, for I believe she has a better understanding of the situation.’ Professor Hayton takes a seat at a table. He takes off his hat and pulls out a cup of tea. Stormy gives him a confused look. ‘Care for a spot, too?’

Stormy shakes his head and prepares to watch the show. Rei paces around before taking a moment to stand on her hind legs and lean against a fireplace that exists only in her mind.

‘So we have established that Silver Fox is a professional thief. We have also covered that she was hired by Ivory Towers. Motivation is clear, given the value and power behind the missing artefact. But background and motivation is not the deciding factor on who is the true thief. One could be the victim of circumstances of the one truly behind the theft. But! I am certain the pony behind the theft is in this room!’ Rei spins around and points at the gathered ponies.

Everypony stares at Rei incredulously.

Stormy looks around and shrugs. ‘Dun dun dun.’ Stormy mumbles.

‘Don't be an ass,’ Silver glares.

‘Bite me,' Stormy shoots back.

‘Miss Rei, why don't you walk us through from the beginning?’ Professor Hayton suggests.

‘Very well,’ Rei nods. ‘Approximately 14 billion years ago...’

‘A little sooner than that, dear,’ Professor Hayton sighs.

‘Oh. Right.’ Rei clears her throat, adjusts an imaginary bow tie and empties an imaginary pipe. ‘Approximately a year ago, Prince Ivory Towers arranged a deal with the Hoofington Museum to display objects from his artefact collection. Given storage restrictions as well as needing to arrange for similar artefacts to be displayed, the exhibit did not begin setting up until just last month. Knowing that the value of the artefacts on public display would surely tempt thieves, no expense was spared upgrading campus security. Just to be extra-sure of the security, Prince Towers used his connections within the Equestrian government to hire Silver Fox as a security consultant. But due to her busy shooting schedule for her show and other engagements’ -- she tosses a clipboard on the table she had pulled from nowhere -- ‘Silver here was not able to arrive in Hoofington until just before the exhibit was to open. That made her arrival yesterday the only chance she could case and evaluate the building. It also made it the only chance for the thief to steal the artefact before the general public would be allowed in.’

Rei starts pacing around while holding her imaginary pipe. She coughs and gives it to Inkie who proceeds to start cleaning it.

Rei turns and points a hoof at Silver. ‘Last night, you did the job you were hired for. You entered the museum and ran through all of the security measures. You tested everything and found every flaw. Including the one used to steal the artefact.’ She smirks at Silver. ‘You noted earlier that the only way to disable the security on the display was to reroute the power from under the display. In fact, from the way you described it to the police earlier, it sounded like you had in-depth knowledge how the system worked.’

Silver growls. ‘You will also note that I said that hoofprints would be left all over the case.’ A black silk sock lands in front of her. ‘And this is?’

‘Not mine or Inkie’s.’ Although Inkie in these... Rei thinks. ‘It also doesn't seem to be Stormy’s style.’

‘So you assume it is mine?’

‘Well, it was found with the towel I showed everypony earlier. I assume you forgot it after you bumped into the hotel outside of our room, unless you got that bump on your head falling out of the bed when I got back last night.’

Silver growls fiercely and looks away.

‘That wasn't Rei I climbed in bed with last night?’ Inkie squeaks and hides herself behind her mane.

‘Still,’ Rei shrugs, ‘that doesn't mean you stole the artefact.’ She turns to face Ivory Towers. ‘Your client could have done the job himself.’

‘That is insanity! How dare a royal accuse another of such petty theft?’ Ivory roars.

‘Is she really royalty? I thought she was just Luna's apprentice,’ Inkie whispers to Lucas.

‘She what!’ Ivory stomps the ground.

‘We'll talk about that later, Inkie,’ Rei hisses. She collects herself. ‘Anyway, we know what the lovely Silver was doing last night,’ -- Silver blushes -- ‘but we don't know why she was at our hotel when she is staying in another part of town.’

‘How does she know all of these things?’ Earth asks.

‘You don't want to know,’ Lucas replies.

‘As Prince Towers will recall, we ran into each other last night as well. You had mentioned you were waiting for somepony and that the meeting location changed. Could it have been Silver and her report on your security you were waiting for?’

Rei drops a small stack of papers on the table.

‘Where did you get that?’ Ivory demands.

‘You would be amazed at the things some ponies keep on thumb drives hidden under their bed and encrypted with several layers of 64-bit security.’ Rei gloats.

‘I bet your princess will get you out of the hacking charges too...’ Silver grumbles.

‘That report contains all of the details about the museum security and how to get around it, including how to rewire the security via access tunnels under the building. That knowledge in hoof would allow anypony to successfully rob the museum of all of the valuables, even if a Diamond Dog was hired for this task and then eliminated. The insurance payoff on a priceless artefact...’

‘Accusing me of stealing my own artefact just for the money...’ Ivory growls.

‘Then there is the power aspect of the the artefact,’ Rei states. ‘See, the artefact that was stolen was the Helm of Clover. That is a magical item devised by Clover the Clever, student of Starswirl the Bearded of the Pre-Classical Era.’

‘My research showed that it was an authentic artefact, indeed dating to the proper period and in the style of the early unicorn tribes,’ Professor Hayton adds

‘Right,’ Rei agrees. ‘And the magic in the helm would allow any non-unicorn to use magic like a unicorn.’

‘Impossible!’ Ivory cries. ‘I have had that artefact in my collection for years. I would have known of that sooner.’

‘Unless you did and were just waiting for a chance to acquire the magic for yourself under dubious means as part of a plot to try to overthrow the princesses.’

Silver snorts. ‘Tch. How traitorous to use the information I provided in an effort to better protect society.’

‘Of course, the ability to use magic would help get revenge against a system that has kept you down for as long as it has.’

Ivory laughs. ‘The noble thief with the knowledge to get into every noble's home and the power to destroy them and seize power for herself.’

‘I don't desire power, unlike the greedy nobles that only care for themselves!' Silver shouts.

‘I care not for wealth or power!' Ivory yells back. 'Do not lump me with the other unscrupulous nobles!’

‘Ponies. Ponies,’ Rei calms. ‘You forget. I have solved this case expertly. I know who the thief is.’

‘Enlighten us,’ Ivory snarls.

‘Yes. Do tell,’ Silver snorts.

Rei laughs, retrieves her imaginary pipe from Inkie, and blows a few bubbles from it. She turn and points. ‘You are the thief!' She advances on Ivory Towers’ aide. ‘You stole the helm and will be punished!’

‘M-m-m-me?’

‘Exactly!’

‘Uh... Rei?’ Stormy says. ‘Isn't that a little cliche?’

‘How so? He was the one in charge of all of the scheduling. He handled all of the arrangements for hiring Silver Fox. He had access to Silver Fox's report and the money to hire the Diamond Dog to rewire the security system. He also had the ability to get away from Ivory Towers for extended periods to take care of the crime under the guise of official business. Not to mention the value of the artefact, the damage to Ivory Towers' reputation and getting Silver Fox arrested. All would help him be free to start a new life.’

‘Still. It is very cliche for the butler to do it.’

The aide starts sobbing. ‘It is true. It is all true. I got greedy. Please forgive me, master.’

Ivory Towers stands over the cowering aide. ‘The authorities will deal with you.’

‘Good show, Rei!’ Professor Hayton cheers.

Earth is in awe. ‘Wow. She is as smart as you claimed, Lucas. … As insane as you said, too.’

Rei giggles. ‘Your sister is funny.’

Lucas' eye twitches. ‘You know she is my sister now?’

Rei rolls her eyes. ‘Well, duh. You said you were leaving to visit her before you left days ago. How could I forget that?’ Lucas holds back a scream. Rei kisses his cheek. ‘Thanks for your help.’

Silver Fox stands and goes over to Rei. ‘You are quite formidable. I am impressed.’

Rei smiles at Silver. ‘Thank you. You are fun as well.’ The filly looks around. ‘Hey! Now, that the mystery is solved, let's enjoy the city and see the exhibit once it reopens!’

‘Indeed,’ Ivory agrees. ‘I insist you stay as my guests and join us at the gala later this week.’

‘Sweet!’ Rei flips in the air. ‘Da da da, du~un, da dun dun dun!’

Days later, Rei, Stormy, Inkie and Lucas are pulling into Ponyville aboard a luxury train car, complete with private washroom for Stormy's motion sickness. At the station, a party has been gathered to greet the returning heroes. Rainbow Dash and Derpy are hanging a banner, with minimal lightning damage. Pinkie Pie is in a party hat and waving sparklers about. Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Rei and Stormy’s friend Image Crystal are all waving at the train. Standing center of the platform, The Wandering Physicist is proudly waiting for his daughter to return. Rei is so excited to see the crowd she almost falls out of a window while waving to everypony. The train comes to a stop, and the group disembarks. Stormy quickly drops to the side to keep his lunch down. Rei shoots out, directly into the forelegs of her father for a hug. Twilight steps forward.

‘Congratulations! Professor Hayton wrote me and told me everything. Your story was amazing news.’

Rei poses smugly. ‘Yeah. Rei the Kraken-Slaying, Thief-Catching Princess is indeed great.’

Twilight sighs. ‘Don't get too smug, Trixie.’

The Wandering Physicist breaks from the hug to pat Lucas on the back. ‘Thanks for keeping her in line while you were away.’

Lucas stares back blankly. ‘Sure. That happened.’

Pinkie picks Inkie up in a huge hug. ‘Inkie is becoming a fine young lady.’

Inkie blushes. ‘Sis...’

Rarity puts a hoof on Stormy's back. She is holding back tears. ‘I... am... so... proud!’

Rarity starts crying tears of joy while she hugs Stormy. He blushes and returns the hug. The Wandering Physicist pats Rei on the back again.

‘Rei, I cannot approve of you running off for days without telling me, but Twilight eventually told me where you were. Also, Luna is really mad at you for having to bail you out of jail. She is livid. I am really proud of you right now,’ He gives Rei another hug.

‘Otoo-san...’ Rei blushes.

‘You are really taking after your father,’ The Wandering Physicist praises.

‘She is sitting around all day playing video games and watching old science fiction programs?’ Twilight says.

The Wandering Physicist glares. ‘I hate you so much right now.’

Rei giggles and turns to Twilight. ‘So, do you have any more mail for me to deliver!’

Author's Note

Story Timeline: First appearance of Silver Fox.

Story Event: While not the best mystery, this chapter was the mystery story I had been wanting to write for years. It had all of the cliches that makes TWP what it is with all of the crazy randomness that makes TWP what it is too.

The story was originally written as a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' style game using a Google Form as the template. About half of the options were endings too. I removed that since it would distract from the story as a whole. I never updated it any of the times I edited it, so it looked like crap too.

A Trixie Situation

Main Characters: TWP, Trixie, Alphonse, Maxie, Twilight
Cameos: Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Spike, Inkie, Rei, Rip, Marvel, Image, Dream Maker, Kaeko, Oatmeal
Original Write Date: 02/20/2012

The Wandering Physicist and Lucas are working a lazy day in The Power Block. The store is relatively full, but there are no big launches or events being held. The overall atmosphere is very calm. That is, until The Galloping and Panicked Trixie runs straight through the store.

‘Save me!’ Trixie shouts before heading to the back of the store and up to the residence.

The Wandering Physicist and Lucas look at each other then out of the store. There are three well-dressed unicorns approaching. The Wandering Physicist narrows his eyes and growls when he recognizes one of them.

‘Prepare dispel magic, just in case.’ he warns Lucas, ‘and ready a call to the police too.’

The approaching unicorns enter the store, and The Wandering Physicist rounds the counter to greet them. One of the unicorns snorts as he looks around.

‘This is what I lost to?’ Maxie comments. ‘This is... I feel like vomiting and that would be a massive improvement.’

The Wandering Physicist growls, but he is interrupted before he can say anything.

‘Maxie. That is offensive,’ The lead unicorn says. ‘This shop has a far greater charm than that.’

The Wandering Physicist snorts. ‘Thanks, I guess. How may I help you?’

The lead unicorn looks The Wandering Physicist over. ‘I take it you are the proprietor of this establishment.’ He gets a snort in reply. ‘I take that as a “yes”. In that case, I believe you have something of mine.’

‘I highly doubt that. Now, if you will excuse yourself, you are disrupting my business.’

‘You do indeed have something that belongs to me. I saw her enter your shop minutes ago.’

The Wandering Physicist glares. ‘Excuse me?’

‘My niece. Return her to me at once. I need her for something.’

The Furious Physicist snarls. ‘Not only does nopony have the right to own another pony, she is my friend and clearly asked me to help protect her. I will not allow you to even see her, especially if that troll is with you.’

‘Does he mean me?’ Maxie asks.

‘Now remove yourself from my store before I have you arrested for interfering with my business.’

The lead unicorn glares back at The Angry Physicist. ‘Fine. We will leave, for now.’ He turns. ‘Come along, Maxie.’

The lead unicorn turns to leave and the others follow suit. Both he and Maxie shoot The Wandering Physicist a parting glare as they exit the building. The stallion snorts as he turns towards the back of the store.

‘Lucas, get their...’

‘Already sending their pictures around to the usual network. I’ll start searching their profiles once I get replies.’

‘I knew there was a reason I hired you.’ The Wandering Physicist looks up towards the residence. ‘I’ll see what I can find out from my guest.’

The Wandering Physicist heads upstairs. He gets out his mobile along the way.

‘Hello, Rei? … Never mind that. Just ditch the rest of class. I need you and Lyra to look after somepony for me. … Just tell them it is a family emergency. … Hurry and get back to the shop. Lucas will fill you in here. … Be safe too.’

The Wandering Physicist hangs up once he reaches the residence. He looks around and finds The Cowering and Shaking Trixie under the kitchen table. He comes over and sits down.

‘I drove them off for now. What sort of trouble are you in?’

Trixie nervously crawls halfway out. ‘C-can you g-get Twilight? I think I am going to need all of your help.’

Trixie has come out of hiding. She is sitting at The Wandering Physicist’s kitchen table, flanked by The Wandering Physicist and Twilight. Trixie has a nice and calming cup of tea in front of her.

Trixie sighs. ‘Trixie apologizes for the trouble she has caused.’

‘What happened?’ Twilight asks. ‘I don’t know why you are back.’

‘Right...’ Trixie sighs. ‘Those unicorns earlier... The ones with Maxie... Their leader is my uncle.’

‘From the side of the family that you don’t like?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

Trixie shudders. ‘I mentioned Maxie. What other a clue could you need?’

‘Why don’t you like them?’ Twilight asks.

Trixie growls to herself. ‘Whereas my mother, her youngest brother and their families, including myself and my brother, use our illusion magic for entertainment, my uncle Alphonse and cousin Maxie use their spells for greedy ends.’

‘So they are criminals?’

Trixie glares into her tea, causing it to bubble. ‘That would be an insult to criminals. Those two are in what you would call the mob.’

‘That is impossible!’ Twilight protests. ‘Princess Celestia would not allow such a thing to exist!’

‘And she will wipe the mind of any pony that tries to uncover the truth about Equestria!’ The Wandering Physicist adds.

Twilight glares at her coltfriend. ‘She never did that to Lyra. She would never do such a thing.’

The Wandering Physicist smiles and pats Twilight on the head. ‘You’re so cute when you don’t believe the truth.’

Twilight growls and tries biting The Wandering Physicist’s hoof. Trixie clears her throat to get the attention back on her.

‘If Trixie may continue her tale...’ The other ponies look sheepish. ‘Good. As I was saying, my uncle is in the mob.’ She looks down and scowls again. ‘Several years ago, my family’s company was in trouble, and my mom went to my uncle for some financial support. She was able to save the company and repay her debt to my uncle, but she still owed him a favor.’

‘Isn’t that a little cliche?’ Twilight asks.

‘One would think.’ Trixie replies.

‘So why are you running?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

Trixie sighs. ‘As fate would have it, the don’s son is a fan of The Great and Powerful Trixie. Mind you, Trixie is known to attract the attention of many handsome and rich and powerful stallions,’ -- Twilight rolls her eyes -- ‘but that stallion... He has a reputation of being... “rough” on the mares he dates. Sadly, my uncle saw that development as one that would benefit him. He called in the favor so my mother would not resist his plot to turn me over to that... beast.’

Twilight is shocked. ‘Your mother willingly turned you over to a mare abuser!’

Trixie slams a hoof on the table. ‘She did not! She would have willingly gone in my place or given up our entire production company if it would have been an acceptable trade! She at least warned me. I abandoned my wagon in Fillydelphia and ran all of the way here.’ She starts crying. ‘I didn’t know where else to go. The two of you are the only ponies I know strong enough to resist them. I don’t want to go. I fear what they will do to me.’

The Wandering Physicist takes Trixie’s hoof. ‘You have my protection. I already have ponies keeping an eye on them.’

Twilight takes Trixie’s other hoof. ‘I’ll write Celestia for help. I and all of my friends will do our best to help.’

Trixie tries to hold back more tears. ‘Thanks. I am so sorry for being a burden to you.’

The Power Block is full of the shop owners from the Nerd District. Lucas watches out the front window with Image Crystal. The only resident not present is Rei. Trixie is at the center of the group recounting her story. Most of the other ponies are looking thoughtful, except for Kaeko who is sharpening a large katana.

‘If we know any of their fronts,’ Ruby Dart begins, ‘I could find a way on to their servers. Turn them over to the EBI or EIA. Hard to act if your source of communication gets cut.’

‘I agree,’ Kaeko says. She holds up her sword. ‘Cut the communication right from the throats.’

Everypony takes a step away from Kaeko.

‘I like that idea,’ Trixie says. ‘Start with Maxie and my uncle first.’

‘How about an idea that avoids a bloodbath?’ DC suggests.

‘Trixie is safe here,’ The Wandering Physicist states. ‘Rei and Lyra are out watching the ones in town right now, and Twilight is contacting the princesses. We just have to keep her safe until a solution can be found.’

‘What about Trixie’s wagon?’ Dream Maker asks. ‘Is it safe to leave it where it is?’

‘No prob, yo. We can just fly on down there and get it for her,’ Rip Chord offers.

Trixie clears her throat. ‘Tim, was it?’ Tim growls. ‘Right. That was the worst Trottingham accent I have ever heard. No. Just... no.’

Tim sits in midair and grumbles to himself.

Coal steps forward. ‘Droll and I will get it. We would be no use in a fight, and my store is not in an opportune spot to maintain a watch.’

‘Are you sure?’ Dream asks. ‘We would be splitting the party and losing two extra perception checks if trouble arises.’

‘They are just trying to help. I think it is a great idea,’ The Wandering Physicist agrees. ‘Better hurry if you want to get the last train from town.’

Trixie sets a bag of bits before Coal. ‘This was all I took when I fled. It was more than enough to get me here. Feel free to keep the difference.’

Coal nods and lifts the bag of bits. He goes to the door and nods toward Droll. Droll goes to each of the assembled ponies, except Kaeko and her sword, and gives them a hug, causing them all to shudder, before joining his brother. They wave and head to the train station.

Marvel stretches and heads to the door. ‘Well, I think I’ll be heading on. Send us any information that you get.’

‘Yeah,’ Dream agrees. ‘The sooner we see the whole map, the sooner we can plan our way through this encounter.’

All of the other ponies agree and start heading back to their shops. Once they are all gone, Lucas gives the shop a once-over before heading out the back to get to his apartment quicker. Trixie sighs, but The Wandering Physicist pats her back before using his sonic screwdriver to activate the store security and head stairs.

In the library, Twilight and her friends are discussing the current situation. All eight, since who would forget Spike and Inkie, are seated around the main room.

‘So that is it,’ Twilight says. ‘Trixie is in trouble and needs our help.’

‘Sounds like she is in a whole mess o’ trouble there.’ Applejack comments.

‘I already promised her my help and wrote the princess about the subject,’ Twilight explains. ‘I won’t be upset if anypony doesn’t want to help her, though.’

‘Though it sounds like a dreadful mess of her own making, I would be upset if those horrible ponies would get their hooves on poor Trixie,’ Rarity states.

Pinkie grabs her sister. ‘Inkie and I are in! Nopony is mean to one of Pinkie Pie’s friends and gets away with it!’

‘Um... Well... It would be bad if Trixie were hurt...’ Fluttershy mumbles.

‘Ah guess we’re all in,’ Applejack says. ‘Jus’ tell us what we can do t’ help.’

Rainbow Dash crosses her forelegs. ‘I don’t know. Sounds like she screwed the pooch on this one.’

‘Rainbow!’ All of the friends shout.

‘What?’ Rainbow Dash protests.

‘Well, I guess that makes sense,’ Rarity sighs. ‘I mean, she is no Daring Do.’

‘Darin’ Do would be good t’ have in this situation,’ Applejack agrees.

‘Yeah!’ Pinkie exclaims. ‘She wouldn’t hesitate to help her friends!’

‘Ooo! Just like in The Scroll of Destiny!’ Inkie cheers.

‘You mean the chapter where she...’ Twilight begins.

‘Quiet!’ Rainbow Dash shouts. She pouts a moment. ‘I haven’t gotten that far yet...’ She shakes off the spoilers. ‘Anyway. I never said I wouldn’t help. Besides, if Daring Do can do it, then Rainbow Dash can do it too!’

Rainbow Dash nods then adjusts an imaginary pith helmet. The others sigh.

‘Ah look forward t’ the day when we don’ have t’ use Darin’ Do t’ trick her int’ bein’ a decent pony.’

Rainbow Dash growls from above Applejack. ‘You know, I can hear you.’

The daredevil grumbles while all of the other ponies laugh as they head back home. Twilight sighs and starts heading up to her room. Spike follows.

‘Twilight...’

‘Yes, Spike?’

‘I know you want to help Trixie, but are you sure you can trust her? This whole situation sounds pretty dangerous.’

‘I share you concerns, but Trixie really sounded like she needs our help.’

Inkie steps up. ‘Trixie might be a bit of a braggart, but she is a decent pony underneath.’

Spike thinks for a moment. ‘Okay... But I am still worried that somepony will get hurt. I have a bad feeling, Twilight.’

Twilight hugs her friend. ‘Don’t worry. I am sure Celestia will do something to help.’ She leans in close. ‘Besides, Trixie is staying with Mr Wanderer so he has most of the burden of protecting her for now.’

Twilight giggles and continues to her room. Spike shrugs and follows to his basket. Inkie looks up towards Twilight’s room.

‘If she is with Wanderer James Hayate, then does that mean Rei is at risk too?’

Rei happily bounces on her bed as she gets ready for sleep. She also snacks on some fresh onigiri. Sitting on the opposite side of the bed, Trixie combs her mane out. The Wandering Physicist is at the door.

‘Sorry that I couldn’t get you your own room.’ The Wandering Physicist says. ‘Today has been a little hectic, not to mention linking to your wagon again might freak Coal and Droll out.’

Trixie sighs. ‘It is fine. I don’t mind sharing a room, even if it is with a hyperactive fan.’

Rei squeals. ‘She noticed me!’

The two adults sigh at the kid. The Wandering Physicist comes over and gets Rei to stop moving long to kiss her on the forehead.

‘Oyasuminasai, Rei-chan.’

‘Oyasuminasai, otoosan!’

The Wandering Physicist pats Trixie on the back. ‘Night, Trixie. … There is no booze in the house, and she is my daughter.’

Trixie sighs. ‘Never letting that go...’

‘Oh! I know this story!’ Rei cheers. She leans in to Trixie. ‘Look like Inkie. She’s a cutie!’

The Wandering Physicist hits Rei in the back of the head. ‘Okay. Time for bed.’ He pops an onigiri in his mouth as he leaves. ‘I’m taking one of these too.’

Rei growls at her dad before turning back to Trixie and smiling. Trixie finishes with her mane and starts getting her side of the bed ready. She grumbles when she sees Rei go for another onigiri.

‘You shouldn’t eat in bed. You’ll get crumbs everywh...’ She notices a grain of rice drop from Rei’s face and disappear before it falls even halfway down her body. ‘Never mind.’

Trixie sighs and settles down on the bed. Rei finishes eating and settles in too. She turns and smiles right in Trixie’s face.

‘I have a full-sized Trixie doll this time!’

Trixie sighs. ‘I guess you do.’

The unicorn rolls over and closes her eyes. Rei continues smiling at her idol. After a few moments of silence, Trixie gives yet another sigh.

‘Miss Rei, you are... not from here, correct?’

‘Yep!’

‘You... you have a different Trixie where you are from, right?’

‘Hai!’

‘Can... Can you... Please tell me of her.’

Rei thinks. ‘Hmm... Our Trixie was... Well, she was great. She really filled the Element of Friendship role perfectly. Such a great magician and well loved too.’

‘What was she like?’ Trixie whispers.

‘She would do anything for those less fortunate than her. Her magic shows were legendary, and she would give free magic lessons to all of the young foals who asked. She would work closely with the other Elements to help build a better world. Auntie Pinkie Pie considered her to be her bestest friend since Tw... since a long-lost friend. I looked up to her a lot. I knew she was the strongest, prettiest, most... Trixie?’

Rei stops. Trixie has begun sobbing. Rei pokes the back of Trixie’s neck with her muzzle.

‘Sorry. I am sorry,’ Trixie sobs. ‘I wish I could be all of those things too. I really do.’

‘But you’re The Great and Powerful Trixie. Your shows delight audiences across Equestria. You have dazzling illusions. You...’

‘Please stop,’ Trixie cries. ‘Just stop. I can’t take it.’

Rei frowns then gives Trixie a hug. ‘Ever since we met all of those months ago, I followed your career here in this world. The only difference between the two worlds is that you do more paid shows. Otherwise, you two are the same.’

Trixie sighs. ‘You are the most diehard of fans.’

‘I bought tickets to your Canterlot show next month weeks in advance. Got them for all my friends too.’

Trixie moans to herself. ‘I wish more ponies were as open-minded as you to look past my flaws...’ She gives a contented sigh. ‘We should get some sleep. The Tired and Sleepy Trixie...’

Rei snores, followed shortly by a snore from Trixie.

Alphonse and Maxie trot through Ponyville with their bodyguards. They attract a lot of disdainful looks from the townsfolk.

‘I don’t like this town,’ Maxie hisses. ‘Rumors spread quickly.’

‘Maybe if your antics did not proceed you...’

‘Father...’

‘Anyway, we have business to attend to. Surely, he will see reason if we make him a grand offering.’

The pair stop outside of The Power Block. Inside, Lucas quickly rushes to get his boss. Alphonse and Maxie advance, but Alphonse stops his son.

‘Wait here. … And don’t bother any of the shops. You have caused enough trouble already.’

‘And if I get bored?’

‘Talk with your imaginary friends again for all I care. Just don’t cause any more trouble.’

Maxie snorts as his father enters the shop. He is stopped by The Wandering Physicist just past the doorway.

‘Al,’ The Wandering Physicist snorts.

Alphonse snorts. ‘You seem to have me at a disadvantage.’

‘I am The Wandering Physicist.’

‘Just that?’

‘Want more? Ask the Daleks.’

‘Is that some Zebra tribe?’

‘Just state your business before you start disrupting mine.’

Alphonse snorts. ‘Well, Mr Wanderer...’

‘Stop. Only my friends can call me that.’

Alphonse growls. ‘Fine. I just want to talk about my niece. By now, you know why she is here.’

‘You are a sick pony for wanting to use her for personal gain.’

‘Ponies use other ponies. Your employee is being used by you for pay, albeit more willingly than my niece.’

‘There is a vast difference between what I do and what you are proposing.’

Alphonse sighs. ‘I guess I will cut to the chase. I will get a five-million-bit finders fee if I can deliver Trixie to my boss’s son. I will also receive a territory worth over one million bits a quarter. I will give the entire finders fee as well as a monthly stipend of over ten thousand bits. You can buy this town overnight.’

‘And you can leave my store now.’

‘I can make you a very rich pony! Think of all...’

The Wandering Physicist stand tall and gives a glare that would make Celestia tremble. ‘You are going to leave NOW! Don’t ever show your face here again. If I ever wish to speak with you again, I will find you.’

‘Very well, but I will not leave without my niece. She will pay the debt her family owes me.’

Before The Wandering Physicist can buck Alphonse through the front window, Alphonse turns and marches out of the store. He shouts at Maxie, and his bodyguards, and they storm back into town. The Wandering Physicist growls and heads back to the residence.

‘Lucas! Watch the shop! I need a moment to cool down!’

Maxie paces in his hotel room.

‘We will convince him to use our magic. It is only a matter of time before that jackass pisses him off as much as he does me. … You know which I am talking about! … Just give us time, and you can feast as much as you wish.’

‘Ahem!’

Maxie spins around to see his father standing at the door.

‘Speaking of feasting, we should be heading to dinner, unless you wish to talk to yourself more too.’

‘I am not alone! I am speaking with an ally to our cause!’

Alphonse sighs and leaves. ‘Some days, I wish you never came to this crazy town.’

Maxie growls after his father. He turns over his shoulder. ‘You’re crazy.’

In the late afternoon, The Wandering Physicist groans and stretches as he leans against the wall in the alley behind The Power Block. He finds a stray rock on the ground, looks around, and gives the rock a good kick. It bounces off the back of The Saving Roll, back to The Power Block, to Marvelous Comics and Collectables, and onto the roof of The Saving Roll.

‘Nice shot.’

The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘Just simple physics. Do you have it?’

Lyra steps out and levitates an envelope over. ‘This was the best I could do with the resources I have.’

‘Thanks. I know I owe you for this.’

‘You bet you do.’

‘Is a copy going...’

Lyra nods. ‘I dropped one off with Derpy before I came over here, and she was going to have one of the express fliers take off for the castle right away.’

‘Thanks.’ The Wandering Physicist smiles at Lyra. ‘Hey, I was going to be taking Rei out for Neighponese tonight. You and Bon Bon are welcome to come along. Just a small start...’

Lyra thinks. ‘I think we have to decline. I am betting Bon Bon is starting dinner by now.’

‘That’s too bad.’ The Wandering Physicist reenters his shop. ‘If you are free, give me a call in the next hour or so.’

‘But I don’t have your number.’

‘Yes, you do.’

The door to the shop closes. Lyra shrugs and trot away. ‘Yeah. I do.’

Alphonse and Maxie are out for dinner at Ponyville’s Istallion restaurant. The staff is covering up their unhappiness as best they can. The other patrons are very worried about the high profile patrons, though they are not making a scene. Alphonse magically raises his wine glass.

‘Garçon?’

The waiter grumbles and steps forward, but he stops and smirks. A pair of ponies step past the waiters and sit at the table.

‘Hi!’ Rei chirps.

The Wandering Physicist waves a waiter over. ‘Sir? Can you get the young lady a serving of, oh, everything? On these fine ponies’ tab of course. Make it quick. We are on our way to a father-daughter dinner together.’

‘Neighponese food!’ Rei cheers.

‘Good girl.’

The waiters rush off to get the food for Rei. The Wandering Physicist turns and smiles at Alphonse and Maxie. They just glare back.

‘Now. I have been thinking about your offer, and I have an offer of my own.’

A waiter returns and sets a large bowl of pasta in front of Rei.

‘The usual, Rei-chan,’ The waiter bows.

‘Itadakimasu!’

Rei buries her face in the bowl and starts digging in. Pasta sauce flies everywhere. The Wandering Physicist gets out the envelope Lyra gave him.

‘See, I have friends who are really good at gathering information. You just happened to have pushed enough buttons for me to push back.’

‘I really doubt you will find anything on me.’ Alphonse sits back and glares. ‘My people are good at covering up our trails.’

The Wandering Physicist gets a picture out of the envelope. He slides it to Maxie. ‘Is that your mother in this picture?’

Maxie turns white. ‘Dad?!’

‘I take that as a “no”.’

Alphonse growls.

‘She’s faking it,’ Rei comments.

The Wandering Physicist shakes his head at Rei. ‘You should not know that, young lady.’

‘Where did you get that...’ Alphonse hisses.

The Wandering Physicist pulls a sheet of paper out. ‘Also, I think you might know these ponies. Would you mind confirming their home addresses for us?’

‘I TOLD you, father,’ Maxie barks across the table.

The Wandering Physicist puts the photo and paper away. ‘No matter. Copies have been delivered to the local authorities by now, and one is almost in Celestia’s hooves as we speak.’ Alphonse just shudders in his seat. ‘Now, my offer to you is leave tonight, or your whole organization will come down tomorrow. I am sure your boss will love knowing you were the one who brought him down.’ He gets up and nods to Rei. ‘Time to go to dinner.’

Rei looks up from her mostly empty bowl. Her face and mane are now red from licking the sauce. ‘Can we get appetizers!’

‘Hell, yeah. I love my edamane and sweet potato croquettes.’

‘Yay!’

Rei flies over the table, barely missing Maxie’s and Alphonse’s meals. The father and daughter happily trot out of the restaurant. The unicorns growl at their enemies. Maxie turns to his father.

‘Was that is in MY bedroom too?’

Alphonse throws his napkin across the table. ‘Shut up.’

After dinner, The Wandering Physicist is sharing the information Lyra gathered with Twilight, Spike and Inkie, much to Inkie’s displeasure. Twilight is looking over the documents Lyra produced while Rei is chasing Inkie with the pictures.

‘But I don’t want to look at them!’ Inkie protests.

‘It is just biology!’ Rei counters. ‘Think of it as studying the pony reproductive cycle!’

The Wandering Physicist watches the kids galloping and flying around the room. ‘I really hope that book Pinkie gave you is locked up safely.’

‘Uh huh,’ Twilight inattentively mumbles as she goes through the papers. ‘How does Lyra find out all of this stuff?’

‘The same way she knows that a certain somepony isn’t too fond of grape jam.’

Twilight snaps to attention then collapses into ball on the ground.

‘Dude. We don’t mention anything magic kindergarten related around her,’ Spike warns.

‘Grape jam! Grape jam! Grape jam!’ Rei starts teasing as she hops around the room.

‘Knock it off!’ Spike shouts as he starts chasing the pony.

The Wandering Physicist strokes Twilight’s mane. ‘Come on. Just messing with ya. Here.’ He sets a small confection next to Twilight. ‘I know how much you like monaka.’

Twilight takes the monaka and gives a small bite. ‘Wait. Where did you get monaka?’

‘Rei and I went for Neighponese earlier.’

‘Why didn’t you invite me?’

‘Well, it is a weekly father/daughter outing. We don’t normally invite others. We had a hard enough time convincing Trixie that she would be safe on the other side of the world.’

‘Whatever. Fine.’ Twilight taps the papers in front of her. ‘It looks like we could be in for some trouble. Has Princess Celestia...’

‘Of course. Before I even saw this for the first time.’

Twilight scowls at the papers. ‘I hope she wipes them from the planet.’

‘And to the moooooon!’

Twilight snorts. ‘Not funny.’

‘Sorry.’ The Wandering Physicist gives Twilight a kiss on the cheek. ‘We have to head back to our guest. Promise me you will get some rest and try not to worry about this too much.’

‘I’ll do my best. Just keep Trixie safe.’

‘With her biggest fan on the job, she is sure to be fine.’

A crash is heard. The two adults look over to see Rei on top of one of the bookshelves using a screaming Inkie as a shield between herself and Spike. They sigh a heavy sigh.

Maxie paces in his hotel room. He is upset about the events that occurred at dinner.

‘Soon. It will be soon. Father saw how infuriating he can be.’

The room door opens and Maxie turns. Alphonse scowls as he enters the room.

‘See how he can be!’ Maxie shouts. ‘We have to...’

‘I put out the call.’ Alphonse states. ‘A large enough team will be here by morning. Even if either of the princesses react in time, it will be too late.’

‘Excellent! With the additional help, we can...’

‘You really believe in that imaginary friend, don’t you?’

A throat is cleared in the room. The unicorns look to see a small troll sitting in a chair. The troll has a scar reaching over its back to its chest.

‘I am imaginary only because you could not see me but believe me, I want to see that pony suffer more than you know.’

The next afternoon, Lyra is perched across from the hotel where Alphonse and Maxie are staying. She has headphones on and eats a cup of noodles. With her free hooves, she holds a pair of binoculars to her face. She watches as Maxie enters his father’s room. After a moment of listening to the conversation, her eyes go wide, her magic falters and her noodles drop on an unsuspecting pedestrian on the street. Lyra tears open her satchel and pushes her headphones down. She fumbles with her mobile as she hurriedly scans all around the town.

‘No, no, no, no! I was too busy watching the big fish that I missed the pawns setting up for a blitz... and Ponyville is the bullseye!’

Lyra gives a small, frustrated scream and switches from hooves to magic for manipulating her mobile. She quickly enters a message at the speed of thought and sends it right as a blue light shines up from across town. Several more lights appear as Lyra starts dialing her mobile. She levitates it beside her as she starts evacuating down the building. Lights start filling and surrounding the town. Alphonse and Maxie step out onto their balcony, and their horns cast spells that add to the light. Lyra reaches street level and starts plowing through everypony she encounters as she gallops away from the hotels. Her face lights up when her call connects.

‘Bon Bon! No time to explain. Get somewhere safe! I lo...’

Lyra is cut short when the lights come together over the city. A magical aura wafts down causing everypony it touches to stop what they are doing and fall asleep. Lyra passes out too. Her mobile falls beside her.

The Wandering Physicist awakes in a pitch black realm. Around him a number of other ponies are awakening as well. Most are his friends. A light appears above the gathered ponies, and Alphonse and Maxie appear.

‘Greetings, my little ponies,’ Alphonse jeers. ‘You have been... shall we say, “selected” to help us with a little negotiation of ours. See, your friend The Wandering Physicist is holding something very important to me, and I want it back. To do so, we have trapped you in this little illusion. You will awake in a matter of hours feeling refreshed... Well, some of you may. I’ll let my son explain.’

Maxie steps forward and smirks at The Wandering Physicist. ‘The rules of this little game are simple. You will be sent to a dream realm and tasked with surviving. Given your friend’s profession, I found it fitting to pick video game worlds as your test. If you get a game over in your game, you will not be joining us in the waking world. Likewise! If your character does not survive the game, it was nice knowing you.’

‘There you have it,’ Alphonse states. ‘Play your game and survive or die trying. … Although, there is another way out.’ He turns and glares at The Wandering Physicist. ‘You could turn Trixie over to me and the illusion will drop. Give her to me and all of your friends’ lives will no longer be in jeopardy.’

The Wandering Physicist looks around at all of his friends. Most are giving him encouraging looks. The rest are still trying to figure out what is going on. He looks up at their captors.

‘Go buck yourself.’

A number of ponies cheer at the response. Alphonse continues to glare down.

‘Fine. If you happen to change your mind, just tell us. We’ll be waiting.’

The unicorns disappear. One by one, all of the ponies start disappearing as well. Soon, everypony gathered is plunged back into darkness.

The next thing The Wandering Physicist hears is the sound of a train traveling across the rails. He moans and shakes his head before reopening his eyes. He sees his reflection in a window. His mane is spiked out more wildly than normal, and he is wearing odd, bluish-purple body armor. He looks around and finds a sword the size of Big Macintosh beside him. It hits him what game he is in.

‘Oh, no.’

Author's Note

TWP vs the World: The Game Arc 1

Story event: First story arc.

Something I liked doing with my older writing before I stopped was writing multi-part story arcs. This is the first of several TWP arcs. It is a simple one. Only three parts. It also goes back to the gaming roots I wanted for the series. The games are mostly favorites or ones I know pretty well. Enjoy the next couple chapters!

See Title Below

Super Mario Legend of Fantasy Gears of Creed Metal Gear the Hedgehog Gaiden Country Crossing Kart Chrono Theft Auto Hearts Tales of Fate/stay Leaf Green Versus Capcom III: Revenge of Quest de Amigo

Main Characters: TWP, Trixie, Alphonse, Maxie, Twilight, Applejack, Lyra, Lucas, Stormy
Cameos: Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Spike, Inkie, Rei, Rip, Marvel, Image, Dream Maker, Kaeko, Oatmeal, CMC, Luna, Derpy, Bon Bon
Original Write Date: 02/27/2012

A small pink light flies around a forest. It looks around before finding a large tree house and flying inside. On a wooden bed, a sleeping filly Derpy dressed in green is tossing and turning. The pink light flies up to Derpy and gently taps her before darting across the room and hiding.

‘Um... Hey... listen... if that is okay with you...’ Fluttershy squeaks.

Filly Derpy just snores and rolls over. Fluttershy gives a sharp eek and nears Derpy again.

Rei shakes her head as she awakes. It feels like that one time she got into the sake cabinet back home and ended up swimming halfway to Equina. Good times. No time to reminisce! Time for action!

Rei stands and surveys the game she is in. She spies a round, red bird launch itself from a slingshot at a wooden structure full of pigs. Rei squeals with excitement. She is great at this game!

‘My turn!’ Rei shouts as she takes flight and flies right for the pigs.

There is a crack of lightning and a pair of plasma streams follow Rei through the structure. Rei stops to survey her work. The plasma streams continue their path, destroying everything they touch.

‘How many points do I receive?’ Rei cheers.

The next red bird in line stares in shock. It is then crushed under the collapsing slingshot.

[Recommended listening for this scene - Opening/Bombing Mission]

The Wandering Cloud hefts his sword on his back and starts looking around. The door to the next car opens and a familiar mare steps out. She is dressed in a white tank top and a black mini skirt. She looks around and gallops over to The Wandering Cloud on sight.

‘Thank Celestia Ah found ya,’ Applejack says. ‘Ah was worried Ah wouldn’ find nopony but him.’

‘Him?’

‘Oi! Hey Jimmy!’ Tim greets. ‘Check it! I ‘ave a gun on my wing!’

Tim waves his right wing and shows off the machine gun at the end of his wing.

‘Tim. We are trapped in an illusory video game. Drop the freaking accent!’

Tim growls. ‘You’re just mad because I am black.’

‘You’re not black, either! You are like a pegasus version of her!’ The Wandering Cloud motions to Applejack.

Applejack turns her head to the side. ‘What are y’all on ‘bout? Ain’t we got more pressin’ matters t’ attend t’?’

‘Right. A reactor to blow.’ The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Tim, you take point. We should be at the checkpoint soon enough.’

‘Got ya!’ Tim salutes and shoots a line of bullets from his wing.

The Wandering Cloud tackles Applejack to the ground. ‘Yeah. You are definitely going to have to learn to control that.’

Tim laughs. ‘Sorry, boss.’ Tim heads off to the next car.

The Wandering Cloud helps Applejack up. ‘Sorry. Just reacted.’

Applejack blushes. ‘Ah get where y’all are comin’ from. Thanks.’ She looks around. ‘If this is the game we think it is...’

‘It is. Trust me.’

‘Then who do y’all think is...’

The Wandering Cloud closes his eyes and grimaces. ‘I can bet... and I don’t like it.’

Knock! Knock! Knock!

‘Lucas!! How long’re you gonna sleep?! Get up! Get up, already! The Dragos brought their babies over! They’re really cute! Hurry up!!’

Lucas moans and sits up. He rubs the sleep from his eyes. He blinks as he looks around the room. He is in a log cabin of some sort. There is a very comforting atmosphere about the cabin. Lucas quickly spots a yellow and red striped shirt hanging from the wall.

‘Son of a....’

Rarity lets out a loud shriek as an oversized bug chases after her. She is on a celestial plane with a starscape shining over a hilly field. Her coat is fluffier than it should be and her features are a little canid, and she is covered in red markings. There is a spinning disc with flames coming out of it on her back.

‘Get away from me, you vile roach!’

The bug takes a large leap and... CLOP! It is squashed between Rarity’s hooves.

‘Disgusting insect.’

The bug moans from the ground. ‘But Rary... I was going to teach you the brush technique to fill in the celestial bridge.’

Rarity shoos the bug away. ‘You can do it from there. Just point me to a brush.’

‘You have to provide one yourself.’

Rarity turns her head to the side. ‘But where am I to find...’ Her eyes go wide. She looks back at her tail. ’Oh no no no no no!’

‘Just dip your brush into the celestial ink and fill in the missing area.’

Rarity growls to herself. ‘If my tail is permanently stained, I am going to kill you, James!’

The Wandering Cloud sneezes as he leads the group into the Mako reactor. Applejack is behind him with Tim in the rear watching their backs.

‘Bless ya,’ Applejack says.

‘Thanks,’ The Wandering Cloud replies. ‘Just a bit further up ahead.’

‘Good.’ Applejack adjusts her skirt. ‘It is gettin’ hard t’ keep this thin’ in one place. It keeps slidin’ up.’

A round of machine gun fire cuts around the ceiling. Applejack spins around and glares at Tim.

‘That’s it! Yer walkin’ in front of me fer the rest of this game!’

Rainbow Dash moans and rubs her head as she awakes. She is wearing heavy battle armor and is in the middle of a bombed-out city. There is a giant machine gun beside her.

‘What hit me?’ She sniffs the air. ‘And what smells like cotton candy?’

‘DASHIE!’ Pinkie cheers as she pops out of a bombed out building.

Pinkie grabs her friend in a hug. Rainbow Dash smiles and pats Pinkie on the head.

‘Hey. Do you know where we are? I remember something about a game and fighting, but I don’t recognize this.’

‘Maybe one of the others know,’ Pinkie replies. ‘Hey guys! Over here!’

There is an explosion and machine gun fire from behind the ponies and Spike and Kaeko run over. Spike covers their backs before turning to the group.

‘Dude. Pinkie. I told you not to give our cover away,’ Spike scolds.

‘Sorry, but I found Dashie so it is all better!’

Spike snorts a small burst of fire.

‘Do either of you know where we are?’ Rainbow Dash asks.

‘Sheesh. Am I the only one who played Gears?’ Spike exclaims.

‘Excuse me for preferring racing games,’ Rainbow Dash grumbles. And Daring Do platformers.

‘I only play untranslated visual novels.’ Kaeko comments. … And yuri eroge...

‘Well, this is something like Dance Central,’ Pinkie adds.

Spike facepalms and groans. ‘Just follow me and do what I do.’

Spike raises his machine gun and marches off into the city. The others shrug and follow with the two pegasi flying above.

The Wandering Cloud leaps from an explosion and barrel rolls right into a flower cart.

‘What is it with physicists and explosions?’ comes from the other side of the cart.

The Wandering Cloud looks over the cart and sees the most beautiful flower mare he has ever seen. He rushes around the cart and grabs Twilight in a big hug. Twilight hugs him back.

‘James. I know this game. I am scared.’

‘Don’t worry. I’ll figure a way out of this.’

‘Y-you can’t. It is a scripted event. I am going to...’

The Wandering Cloud puts a hoof to Twilight’s mouth. ‘We’ll worry about that when we get there. Just... Stay safe. You’ll be in the party soon enough. Then AJ and I can watch out for you.’

Twilight chokes back a tear. ‘Thank you.’

The Wandering Cloud gives Twilight a quick kiss. She returns a half-smile and levitates a flower into his mane. They exchange one last nuzzle before The Wandering Cloud gallops away.

The first thing Lyra does when she regains consciousness is reach for her mobile. She notices that her call to Bon Bon has lasted only five minutes. She hangs up the call and looks around. All around her are sleeping ponies. She closes her eyes and thinks.

‘Okay. Who could also resist?’ She groans. ‘Okay. Him and maybe her. Right. Lyra, you got this.’

Lyra’s mobile buzzes, and she checks the message.

‘Well, that is one bit of good news.’

Lyra shakes off the remaining haze from the spell and gallops off towards the nerd district.

[Recommended listening for this scene - Tifa’s Theme]

The Wandering Cloud finally makes it to 7th Heaven after his encounter with Twilight. Applejack, Tim and an unicorn filly cheer his return.

‘Great to have you back, mate!’ Tim cheers. ‘Look what we found!’

The Wandering Cloud looks down to see Dinky Hooves wrapped around his leg.

‘Mr Wanderer, is my mommy safe?’

The Wandering Cloud pats Dinky on the head. ‘I am certain she is fine’

‘Am, am I safe?’

‘Definitely. You are a NPC in this game. One who is guaranteed to live. Trust me. I have Advent Children Complete, Before Crisis, Crisis Core, and Dirge of Cerberus.’

Dinky smiles and lets go. The Wandering Cloud sighs and heads to the back room. Applejack follows him back there and closes the door behind her.

‘So... Was it her?’ Applejack asks.

The Wandering Cloud fights back tears and nods.

Applejack puts a leg over The Wandering Cloud’s back. ‘Do ya have a plan t’ save her?’

The stallion starts crying and shakes his head.

‘Don’t worry. We have plenty of time t’ think of somethin’. I know we can find a way t’ save her.’

‘It is a scripted event. How can we get around that?’ The Wandering Cloud sobs.

Applejack’s eyes dart as she thinks as fast as she can. ‘Hey, uh, get a hold of yerself. This ain’t the same pony Ah saw stand down legions o’ death machines! Ya can’ be beaten by some stupid showboat with a bad attitude.’

The Wandering Cloud sighs. ‘You’re right. You’re right. I am sure... Yeah...’

Applejack gives a small growl then bumps the other pony gently. He turns to look and is met by a kiss on the lips. Applejack looks away and blushes, leaving The Wandering Cloud stunned.

‘That was... ya know... fer luck, ya know. Yeah. And t’ get yer brain workin’ right.’

The Wandering Cloud stares in shock. ‘You know canonically Cloud and...’

‘Well! Look at the time! Ah guess we should be hittin’ the hay if we’re t’ advance the plot tomorrow.’ Applejack fakes a yawn. ‘See ya in the mornin’.’

Applejack trots off to go to her bunk. The Wandering Cloud smiles after his friend.

‘Tim’s right. That skirt looks good on you.’

Applejack snaps back around and points to the wall. ‘Eyes over there, mister!’

Bon Bon, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom are huddled near a castle. They are too scared to venture forth or else lose the game they are stuck in. They are afraid to enter the castle lest they encounter that strange mushroom creature again. There is a flash of light and a port opens before them. Alphonse sticks his head out and looks around. He notices the group.

‘Ah! There you are.’ Alphonse steps through the portal. ‘I was hoping to find you at a safe impasse.’

‘Where, where are we?’ Bon Bon asks.

‘Good question, young miss.’ Alphonse replies. ‘See, you four were unfortunately drawn into this competition due to some unknown accident. Since we don’t want to see anything bad happen to innocent young foals, we have provided a simple scenario where you are free to, uh, lose as many lives as you want. Our illusion overseers have assured me that it is impossible for you to receive a game over.’

‘So, yer sayin’ we can’ die?’ Apple Bloom asks.

Alphonse nods. ‘Most certainly. Once this whole affair is over, you will be returned to normal without any harm.’

Scootaloo raises a foreleg. ‘When you say “affair,” do you mean like what my dad does or...’

Bon Bon quickly covers Scootaloo’s mouth. ‘Uh, thank you for not wishing us harm, but can’t you just let us free?’

Alphonse frowns. ‘Sadly, no. That would require undoing the whole spell. It is easier for us and you if we just provide a safe haven like this.’ He returns to the portal. ‘Play nice and have fun! This will all be over before you know it.’

Alphonse disappears once more. The Cutie Mark Crusaders confer among themselves while Bon Bon laments the situation.

‘Why does this always happen to me? I just wanted a normal life.’

‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MARE-IO BROTHERS! Uh... MARE-IO SISTERS! YAY!’

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gallop ahead. Scootaloo heads back and drags Bon Bon after the group.

Fluttershy is floating off to the side while filly Derpy fights creatures off to the side.

‘Oh be care...’

‘HEEYA!’

Fluttershy winces. ‘Look ou...’

‘YEEEE-AAAAAAHHH!’

‘Eep!’

‘YAAAAAAH!’

‘Oh my.’

‘HA!’

Derpy fells the last enemy, tosses her sword into the air from her mouth and catches it in the sheath. Fluttershy nervously flies over.

‘That was... nice.’ Fluttershy compliments.

‘Thanks. It is really fun playing this again.’

‘Well, that explains why you are so good.’

‘Ha! When this game first came out, Sparkler and I played it so much I could beat it cross-eyed.’

Right when Derpy says the last word, her eyes align so she looks normal for a second. Fluttershy is a little surprised and floats back a bit. A light and a sound come from behind Derpy, and she turns to see a chest appear.

‘OOO! OOO!’ Derpy clears her throat and sings, ‘I got the thi~ng!’

Fluttershy claps while Derpy goes to the chest to get the item.

Lyra sneaks her way past a pair of patrolling unicorns stationed around The Power Block. The shop is sealed tightly, with guards at every entrance. Luckily, they are not stationed around The Saving Roll next door. Lyra is able to enter from the front. She finds a number of ponies trapped in the illusion scattered around the shop but in the back she sees what she came for.

‘Do you really think the Frostmourne can stand up to them?’

A shaking Dream Maker comes out of hiding with a sword held by his magic. ‘It is a real sword. It might be based on a pretend sword, but it is real.’

Lyra sighs. ‘Put it down before you get hurt.’

‘... Okay.’ Dream drops the sword.

‘Good. Now, I need you to get out there and help me find other ponies that might be unaffected by the spell like we are. Most likely unicorns. We’re going to need help to wake any of the others.’

‘What good will that do? They will just put us under again.’

‘DM, this only started twenty minutes ago. They don’t need much time in a dream. We might have minutes or we might have hours. Anypony we can save early is a step in the right direction, especially if that will gets the invaders arrested sooner.’

‘Okay. Okay. I understand. I’ll do my best. Nothing but high rolls.’

‘Good. If you find anypony, meet at Bon Bon’s shop. I should be there shortly. There is one other pony I want to check on.’

Lyra turns and starts to leave. Dream follows. Lyra stops in the doorway.

‘Leave the Frostmourne.’

‘AWWWW!’

Trixie and Stormy are trotting through a rundown castle. They are using their magic to blast any creature that approaches. Behind them, an older earth pony is keeping his distance.

‘I am truly sorry for this mess,’ Trixie sighs. ‘It is all my fault.’

‘Don’t say that,’ Stormy comforts. ‘That is rarely true.’ He looks away. ‘I have used that excuse enough times to know.’

Trixie looks over at the younger unicorn. ‘If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get that lovely scar?’

Stormy scowls. ‘I got in a fight with my dad, and he attacked me. It hasn’t worked right since. Probably why they made me play the role of the gimp in this game. Some cruel joke at my expense.’

Trixie gives Stormy a friendly nuzzle. ‘Don’t feel too bad about it. I know plenty of unicorns with cracked horns who were able to recover and even advance their magic. It just takes time and practice.’

Stormy blushes. ‘Thanks... I guess...’

‘Besides, anypony able to keep up with The Great and Powerful Trixie must have some modicum of magical skill.’

Stormy laughs a bit. Trixie returns a smile. A sock flies out from behind the pair and lands on Trixie’s head. She snaps back furiously.

‘Trixie thought she told you to stop that, old man!’

[Recommended listening - Honeybee Manor]

Twilight and Applejack are walking together through the Sector 5 Slums. They are dressed in attractive dresses. Both are barely containing giggles. Ahead of them, The Wandering Cloud is wearing a wig, makeup and a dress of his own. He is buried under a dark cloud of shame.

‘When everypony hears what game I was stuck in, they are going to make fun of me for this,’ he moans.

‘Don’t worry. It is not too bad,’ Twilight giggles.

‘Yeah. At least it ain’t all froo-froo,’ Applejack adds.

The Wandering Cloud sighs. ‘Well, at least the dress is very breezy and airy. It is quite comfortable. I can see why you girls like wearing them.’

Twilight and Applejack stop in their tracks. They just stare as The Wandering Cloud keeps walking. They turn and look at each other.

‘Did he just...’ Twilight begins.

‘Don’ ask me. He’s yer coltfriend,’ Applejack replies.

Twilight moans, and the girls resume following their friend.

Lucas is leading Trixie, Stormy and a dog up a large tower structure. He quickly heads up the path with the dog following. Stormy takes his time but keeping pace. Far behind the rest of the group, Trixie nervously clings to the walls and railing as she makes her way up the structure.

Lucas looks down. ‘Hurry up down there. I want to get this game beat in no time.’

‘I’m coming. I’m coming,’ Stormy grumbles.

‘I wasn’t talking to you. I meant her.’

Trixie slowly creeps forward. ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie is a little unnerved by this place.’

‘That doesn’t make you sound very “great and powerful”,’ Lucas shoots back.

‘We are climbing something called “Thunder Tower” with magical lightning rods built into our foreheads. It is foolish to feign bravery as much as you are.’

Lucas groans. ‘Come on. What is the worst that can happen?’

A sound is heard behind the group.

‘Nwehehehehehehehehe!’

Dream Maker and Ruby Dart make their way to Bon Bon’s confectionary shop. Inside, they see a light violet unicorn with a medium length two-tone purple mane. She smiles and waves. In the back of the shop, Lyra is seen caring for Bon Bon. Hearing a bell chime as the door is opened and closed, Lyra rejoins the other unicorns.

‘Good to see everypony here,’ Lyra greets. ‘I hope you have met Amethyst Star aka Sparkler.’

‘I’ve been to their shops on occasion,’ Sparkler replies.

‘Keeping the water off your laptop better recently?’ Ruby jokes.

Sparkler sighs. ‘My sister was still learning to use her magic...’

‘All five times?’

Sparkler shudders.

‘I was only able to find Ruby,’ Dream says. ‘I thought I saw another pony, but it looked to be a pegasus and I only got a brief passive perception check.’

‘That is fine. I am sure nopony else is conscious in this town,’ Lyra replies. A sheets of paper drops from above and lands in front of her. ‘Definitely sure.’

The others looks around the shop for the source of the paper. Lyra picks up the paper. A silver-grey tail disappears into the back of the shop.

‘Okay’ Lyra says. ‘We have a bit of a map of where the invaders are around town. What we should try to do is awake as many ponies as we can, preferably peace officers.’

‘What? How do we do that?’ Ruby asks.

‘We just need a simple spell, which I was informed of here,’ -- Lyra holds up her paper -- ‘to enter and break the illusion.’

‘Yay. A crash course in illusion magic. Wonderful.’ Ruby groans.

‘What good would waking other ponies be?’ Sparkler asks.

‘Think about it. Once their spell wears off, they will be quite tired. If we can overwhelm them with fresh ponies, then we should be able to capture them before they can do whatever it is they are planning.’

‘Overwhelm their weak minions with our fresh minions,’ Dream comments. ‘Good strategy. Let’s hope it works.’

‘Me too,’ Sparkler adds. ‘I’m worried about my mom and Dinky.’

‘Don’t worry!’ Lyra assures. ‘We’ll get everypony out safely or my name isn’t Heartstrings!’

Rei is at the back of a line of birds as they launch themselves at the pigs. This is so boring! It should all about...

‘That’s it! I’m cutting!’

Rei gets in a launch position and fires herself at the pigs’ fort. She flies through all of the blocks making up the fortress, leaving the building and pigs to poof out of existence. The crown of the lead pig drops from the sky and lands on Rei’s head. Finally, she is a real princess! Then an egg almost lands on her. Rei looks up to see a deflated white bird flying away. A black bird drops from the sky and explodes over Rei. She looks back and sees more birds loading themselves onto the slingshots.

‘Uh oh.’

Rei screams and takes off as she tries to escape the monster red bird that is launched at her. Princesses should not be treated this way!

The Wandering Cloud’s party is trekking through a mountainous path. The party has grown to consist of The Wandering Cloud, Applejack, Twilight, Tim, Inkie (with a large shuriken on her back), and a large, red, lion/dog-like creature. Except for Inkie, every other party member is walking ahead of Applejack. The lion/dog creature also has a large lump on his head. The Wandering Cloud and Twilight are deep in thought. Tim looks back from his position in the lead with the lion/dog creature.

‘Yo. Don’t look so down.’ Tim cheers. ‘What is eatin’ ya?’

The Wandering Cloud looks up and glares.

‘Okay. I got ya. What about the lovely Princess Sparkle? Hopefully not the same thing.’

‘Actually no,’ Twilight answers. ‘I was wondering about those outside of the spell. Princess Luna was supposed to be on her way with some additional peace officers this morning. I am worried that she might have been trapped with us.’

‘Don’ worry, sug’,’ Applejack comforts. ‘If she is trapped, Ah am sure she can take care o’ herself.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the middle of a large city, a large explosion removes the top floors of a building and shatters all of the glass in downtown. A lone automobile races away from the scene. It is followed by legions of cop cars, helicopters and even military craft. In the vehicle, Luna leans back too admire her handiwork. She turns back to the escape at hand but takes a moment to raise her forelegs up in cheer.

‘Ha, ha! The fun has been doubled!’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight nods. ‘You’re right. I shouldn’t worry about that.’ She sighs pensively. ‘Not when there are bigger worries out there.’

Applejack gives her friend a gentle bump and smiles when her friend turns. At the front of the party, the lion’s ears twitch. He stops in his tracks.

‘Get back!’ Red XIII warns.

A small rock drops from the cliff up ahead. Inkie recognizes the sign and immediately takes cover. The others do not know how to react until larger boulders start tumbling down the mountainside. Tim takes flight, adding to the problem when his wing-mounted gun goes off. The others take cover as the rocks fall. After a few minutes, the avalanche ends when a large boulder lodges itself in the middle of a pass ahead of the group. The party approaches the boulder and groans.

‘Great. What else can go wrong?’ Twilight moans.

Tim swoops down. ‘Hate to tell ya, but that is the only path I can spot unless you want to try climbing over.’ The other ponies moan. ‘Don’t worry. The boulder is at the end of the pass. If you can push it out of the way, it should fall aside.’

Applejack steps up. ‘All right. All right. Ah get ya. Let the farm pony do the heavy lifting.’

The farmer presses against the boulder and gives it a push. The boulder barely slides a centimeter. Inkie creeps up.

‘Damn it,’ Applejack swears. ‘Maybe if Ah get some of you stallions t’ help a bit.’

‘Um... Can I give it a shot?’ Inkie asks.

‘No offense, but y’all are scrawnier than his kid,’ Applejack says, nodding towards The Wandering Cloud. ‘Ah doubt ya can do anythin’.’

Inkie steps up to the boulder.

‘It is pretty heavy. It will probably take the rest of the day t’ move it,’ Applejack warns.

Inkie puts an ear to the boulder. She backs away and marks a ‘X’ with a hoofful of dirt.

‘Ah don’t know what yer doin’, but it is probably no...’

‘YA!’ Inkie shouts as she bucks the ‘X’.

A hole is blown straight through the boulder from the force of the kick. Everypony is left stunned, Applejack definitely not the least. Inkie turns back to the group and smiles.

‘I shouldn’t have to remind you that I grew up on a rock farm and my specialty is geophysics and soil science. A tiny pebble like that is nothing to a good kick.’

Inkie leads the party through the hole, Applejack gaping around the rock. The Wandering Cloud examines the rock and the remains of the avalanche as he passes. He nods to himself and gets a slight smile.

Spike, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash are fighting off a horde of Locust. Their machine gun fire cuts down a large wave of attackers, allowing them to advance to the next covered position. Suddenly, a squad of Locust burst through a wall behind the group. Before the group can turn and fire, the sounds of a revved up Lancer falls from the sky and Kaeko slices through the attackers in a matter of seconds, all without firing a shot. Her work complete, Kaeko places the Lancer on her back and readies to take to the skies again.

‘You know, you can actually shoot your gun too,’ Rainbow Dash comments.

Kaeko turns and stares at Rainbow Dash. The cyan pegasus shrinks away. Kaeko nods and goes back to her covering position in the sky.

‘Ooo! She’s spooky!’ Pinkie says.

Spike does some math on a wall. ‘Just two more waves, and we should be at a place where we can rest for a bit.’ Spike raises his gun. ‘Let’s go!’

[Author’s note: I know I am screwing up Mother 3 continuity, but the scene needs to be this way for story continuity. If you figured out the trick to the illusions yet, you know that I didn’t mess up. Anyway! Recommended listening - Smashing Song of Praise - from this battle - from SSBB]

Lucas, Trixie, Stormy and Boney are battling a giant cyborg ape. The three unicorns are shooting spells at the Steel Mechorilla while Boney bites the creature on the leg. Stormy falls back and winces from overusing his magic. He moans and holds his horn. Trixie moves to protect Stormy, but Lucas stops her.

‘Don’t worry about him. Just keep up the attacking.’

‘Agreed. I am fine,’ Stormy adds.

The Steel Mechorilla smashes the ground in front of the group. It raises its armored fist and prepares to bring it down on the weakened pony.

‘Screw this!’ Trixie shouts.

Trixie closes her eyes and focuses on a spell. She opens her eyes, and they are glowing with magical energies. A massive lightning bolt comes from Trixie’s horn and strikes the Steel Mechorilla’s fist. It roars and freezes in place. Trixie falls back and sits. Her head is spinning as the magical energy dissipates.

Trixie laughs nervously. ‘And that, ladies and gentleponies, is why they call me Great and Powerful.’

‘You idiot!’ Lucas shouts.

‘What’s the big deal?’ Stormy asks. ‘It is weak to lightning.’

‘Yes, and it can send it into a rage too.’

Trixie shakes off the remaining haze. ‘Do what?’

The Steel Mechorilla roars and come to life again. Its robotic parts start steaming and it swings wildly. Lucas and Trixie are able to raise magical shields in time and are only pushed back with minimal damage, but Stormy takes a hit and goes flying into the mountains surrounding the battlefield.

‘Stormy!’ Trixie cries.

‘Idiots!’ Lucas shouts.

Lucas charges a spell and shoots a series of small fireballs at the Steel Mechorilla. They explode on contact. The Steel Mechorilla’s mechanical parts shatter, and the beast collapses and dies. Trixie rushes over to Stormy’s side.

‘Stormy!’ Trixie cries. ‘Are you you okay? Stormy!’

‘Don’t forget to apologize for causing him to get hurt,’ Lucas sneers.

‘Shut up!’ Trixie shouts back with tears streaming down her face. ‘Just use your healing magic to help him!’

Lucas sighs and readies a spell, but Stormy coughs and groans. He looks up and sees Trixie crying over him.

Stormy smiles. ‘I should get my ass whooped more often. I keep getting pretty ladies caring for me when I wake up.’

Trixie smiles and hugs Stormy. ‘Idiot.’

Lucas sighs. ‘Come on. Let’s just advance the plot. You two will have plenty more times to be idiots along the way.’

Lucas trots away with Boney following. Trixie helps Stormy up, and they follow Lucas together.

[Recommended listening -](http://youtu.be/MlTNNHAa0rk) Agata Forest[]

Rarity trots into a forest with Issun riding on her horn. She is taking in all of the sights and sounds.

‘For not really being my thing, this game has some wonderful art direction,’ Rarity comments. I’ll have to have Stormy show me it once we are free.’

Rarity’s ears prick up, and she looks around. Issun jumps to attention.

‘What is it, Rary?’

Rarity growls and looks to the trees. An odd flute music fills the air. In the tree branches, an oddly dressed pegasus steps out with flute in hoof.

‘Bonjour, ma cherie.’ the pegasus greets.

‘What do you want? Who are you?’ Issun shouts while hopping on Rarity’s horn.

‘My business is not with you, my little friend,’ the pegasus answers. ‘My business is with your mangy friend there.’

‘MANGY!’ Rarity roars.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Derpy looks up in the middle a wooded temple. Fluttershy flies around looking for what caught Derpy’s attention.

‘Did... you just hear Rarity yelling?’ Derpy asks.

Fluttershy shrugs.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders and Bon Bon are making their way through a swampy area. The Crusaders are all fighting to see who can beat the game without dying the most. Bon Bon is just hanging back and watching the fillies battling it out. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are battling for the lead while Bon Bon and Scootaloo hold back.

‘Um... Miss Bon Bon... Can I ask you something?’ Scootaloo says.

‘Go ahead.’

‘Well, uh, you and Miss Lyra are...’ Scootaloo looks away.

‘It is nothing to be embarrassed about. We’re married.’

‘Right...’ Scootaloo bites her lip. ‘Um... Let’s say there is a somepony you like, but you don’t think she, I mean, the somepony might not like you like that... How do you go about asking her, I mean, that somepony about that?’

Bon Bon laughs at the question. She looks ahead at the other two fillies. ‘You just have to talk to her. If she is not interested, then it is disappointing but there are plenty of other great fillies out there who would like you as much as you like them.’

Scootaloo blushes and looks away. ‘I guess I wasn’t too subtle with my question.’

Bon Bon laughs. ‘You should have seen Lyra and me when we first met. She chased me like crazy until I went out with her, so don’t give up.’

Scootaloo nods. ‘Gotcha!’

Bon Bon leans in and whispers, ‘Plus I think Apple Bloom likes you too.’

Scootaloo blushes all over and stops in her tracks, her wings sticking straight up. Bon Bon giggles and gallops up to the others.

Lyra sneaks through the town back to The Power Block. She follows Alphonse to a meeting where Maxie and the other unicorns are maintaining the illusions on The Wandering Physicist, Rei and Trixie. The Wandering Physicist and Trixie are at the kitchen table while Rei is in her room. An unicorn is with each of the trapped ponies, though the one near Rei’s room seems to be weakening. Maxie is maintaining his spell while talking with his father.

‘It is working,’ Maxie says. ‘He is almost at the point where he will have to sacrifice the one he loves or surrender Trixie.’

‘Hmpf,’ Alphonse snorts. ‘If it didn’t require this spell, we should have just broke in here and taken Trixie by force. It is very convenient that so many targets are here.’

‘More than convenient,’ a new voice adds. ‘It is quite delicious.’

Lyra shifts her position and catches a glimpse of Oatmeal standing over The Wandering Physicist. It seems to be drawing energy from the prone pony.

‘So much anger. So much hate. So much loneliness.’ Oatmeal grins. ‘The pink one has nothing on him.’

‘Ugh. Disgusting beast,’ Alphonse sneers. ‘If we didn’t need your help, I would just be rid of you.’

Oatmeal stops his magic. ‘Stick with me, kid, and I’ll get you to the top of the pony world.’

‘Then kill me, most likely.’ Alphonse sighs. ‘Let’s just keep this one deal at a time, okay?’

‘Who said I was talking to you?’ Oatmeal smiles a toothy grin.

The troll looks over and Alphonse follows to watch as Maxie focuses on his magic once more.

The Wandering Cloud’s group enters a town with a large space rocket at the center. They have added Image to the party as well as a stuffed cat riding a stuffed goblin. Image is dressed in a long red cape and has a pair of pistols at his side. Applejack is now at the back of the party with everypony and Red XIII and the stuffed animals in front of her.

‘Any bets on who plays Cid?’ The Wandering Cloud asks.

Inkie thinks. ‘I guess Kaeko since she seems like a spear user.’

‘I think it is Rainbow.’ Twilight guesses. ‘She seems foul-mouthed enough.’

‘If we’re talkin’ ‘bout a foul-mouthed pegasus with attitude problems, then Scoot’s dad is a good bet,’ Applejack says.

Everypony who knows Scootaloo’s father shudders. The group reaches a house with a small airplane out front and stops.

‘They’re here!’ is shouted from inside. ‘It’s James, too!’

The Wandering Cloud leads the party into the house. Inside, Marvel Crystal sits at a table. He glares at the party as they enter.

‘Dad!’ Image cries when he enters.

‘Ha ha! That’s my son!’ Marvel cheers. ‘I knew you would be safe.’ He leans towards the back of the house. ‘Hey! Image is Vincent!’

DC comes out of the back with a tray with cups of tea. ‘Image! Great to see you. How is everypony?’

Everypony mumbles in response.

‘I’m doing pretty good,’ Inkie answers.

The rest of the party looks at Inkie.

Inkie tries hiding behind her mane. ‘Well, uh, considering I am trapped in an illusory video game, of course.’

Marvel scans the party. He stops when he sees Twilight. ‘Don’t worry. I am sure we can think of something before the time comes.’

Twilight blushes. ‘Uh, thank you. I-I am trying not to think about it.’

‘Sorry.’

‘How do you know it is her?’ DC asks.

Marvel turns to DC. ‘Hon, you focused more on the story. I focused on the art direction. In fact, I remember you calling that scene stupid for not having any dialogue.’

Image facehooves. ‘Sheesh, mom. That is exactly what I am talking about.’

DC sits back and crosses her forelegs. ‘HMPF! And which one of you was tapped to assist on a screenplay of the comic you wrote for?’

Marvel and Image moan and roll their eyes. There is a rumble from outside and armed ponies start filling the streets.

‘What the hell?’ Marvel says. ‘I thought we had to activate more things in the cutscene first.’

‘Maybe if y’all didn’ waste yer time talkin’ ‘bout comic books...’ Applejack groans.

Marvel runs to a back room and returns with a spear. ‘Let’s do this!’

Marvel gallops out into the battle. Cait Sith and Red join in the battle. The Wandering Cloud sighs and heads out to join the fight with Twilight, Inkie, and Image following. Applejack groans and trots out.

‘And will somepony tell me why everypony with fancy weapons ain’t a pony that can actually use the weapon proper like!’

Derpy is deep within the Fire Temple. She is locked in combat against the fearsome Volvagia. Fluttershy is hiding beside the door, waiting for the battle to cease. Derpy leaps and slashes the scales of the dragon with her sword. Volvagia roars and breathes a gout of fire. Derpy shields herself, but Volvagia charges through the flame and rams into Derpy. Derpy is knocked to the ground, and the Master Sword lands far from the prone pegasus. Derpy tries to recover, but Volvagia lands above her, ready to strike. Volvagia raises a claw and slashes. Derpy tries shielding herself with her forelegs, but the attack never comes. Derpy looks to see a small pink light in front of Volvagia’s face.

Fluttershy Stares into Volvagia’s eyes. ‘Hey! Listen! Don’t you go hurting my friend! She is only trying to save the poor Goron people you were planning to eat. That is not a very nice thing to do, you Mister Meanie Pants! How would you like it if somepony wanted to eat you?’

‘But... But... Ganon made me do it,’ Volvagia stutters.

‘And if Ganon told you to jump off a cliff, would you?’

Volvagia looks away, ashamed.

‘Now, I know you are not really a big meanie dragon, but you should have expected somepony to stand against you when you started hurting innocent ponies. What would your mommy think if she found out you were being a big bully and picking on smaller creatures?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Volvagia mumbles.

‘What was that?’

‘I’m sorry!’ Volvagia shouts with enough force to send Fluttershy spiraling away.

Fluttershy flies back over. ‘There, there. The Gorons are free. Derpy will stop attacking you and apologize. If you can remove the curse from Death Mountain and help us fight against Ganondiscord, I know that everypony will forgive you.’

‘You really think so?’

Fluttershy smiles and nods. ‘I know so.’

‘Thank you!’

Volvagia looks up and bellows with enough force to lift the dark clouds surrounding Death Mountain. He even helps Derpy up. After exchanging apologies and saying goodbye, Derpy and Fluttershy make their way out of the temple.

‘Fluttershy! That was amazing! Thank you!’ Derpy congradulates.

Fluttershy blushes. ‘Well, not everypony can be as brave as me.

Derpy accidentally drops the Master Sword as they make their way back into Goron City. It lands with a loud ‘clang!’ Fluttershy gives a small ‘eep’ and faints to the ground.

[Recommended listening - Words Drowned by Fireworks]

The Wandering Cloud’s party is back at Gold Saucer. They are resting and getting ready to head out to the Ancient Temple. During the night, The Wandering Cloud and Twilight activate the date event. They have just entered the gondola and are about to see the park. The gondola starts, and the two ponies start taking in the sights. After a couple moments, Twilight looks over at The Wandering Cloud and starts crying.

‘It is almost over,’ Twilight sobs. ‘We are almost at the part where I leave and then...’

The Wandering Cloud goes over and takes Twilight in his forelegs. ‘It is okay, Twilight. Everything will be fine.’

‘They are going to kill me, James! I am going to die!’

‘You are not going to die!’

‘Yes, I am! I doubt Maxie or any of the others are kind enough to accept any of the Lifestream theories. I am going to get killed and die!’

‘Twilight! I know it looks bleak, but trust me. You will live to see this illusion fail. I promise you that.’ He holds Twilight’s crying face up to his own. ‘I swear with all my heart that I will not let you die. I will keep you by my side forever.’

Twilight blinks through the tears. ‘James...’

She leans in and presses her lips to The Wandering Cloud’s, their tears falling together. As they kiss, fireworks are shot off around the amusement park.

Lucas, Trixie, Stormy and Boney wash up on a sandy beach at the edge of a swamp. Lucas picks himself up and shakes the sand from his muzzle. He looks over the rest of his party. He spies the next part of the game up ahead.

‘I am not looking forward to this part...’ Lucas starts shaking Stormy. ‘Wakey wakey. Time for some yummy mushrooms.’

Stormy and the others wake up. Stormy sees what is in store for him and groans.

‘Dear Luna. This is going to suck big time.’

‘I’ll take a grande double shot blend with extra foam...’ Trixie moans. ‘...and one of those non-fat macaroons. Girl’s got to watch her figure.’

‘Wake up!’ Lucas shouts.

Trixie curls into a ball. ‘I don’t wanna! I wanna be at a Ponybucks right now with a giant coffee and a plate of confections and a good book! I don’t want this stupid game anymore! I want to go home!’

‘Then you should have thought of that before you came here!’ Lucas shouts. ‘Now get up and eat these drug trip mushrooms!’

‘Wow,’ Stormy groans. ‘At least when Rei tricked me into eating the mushroom, she was a lot more coy about it. You... You’re just a dick. I don’t know what she sees in you.’

‘Shut up, fruitcake!’ Lucas shouts. ‘I just want to get this bucking game over with so that this...’ He growls at Trixie. ‘This tramp will leave.’ He levitates a set of mushrooms over. ‘Now eat up or I will make you eat it!’

Stormy rolls his eyes and takes a bite of mushroom. ‘If you are this bad now, I hate to see how you are when these things kick in.’

The full party of The Wandering Cloud, Twilight, Inkie, Marvel and Image Crystal, Tim, Red XIII, Cait Sith, and Applejack bringing up the rear arrive on a forested island. A large temple is in the distance. Twilight moves closer to The Wandering Cloud. The Wandering Cloud stares ahead at the temple.

‘Well, let’s do this.’

Author's Note

TWP vs The World: The Game Arc 2

Fun fact: With the exception of the Gears of War series, almost everything represented are favorite games. Mother 3 is beautiful. I was a huge FF VII addict in the day. NSMBW is one of favorite Mario games. And Fluttershy as Navi? Come on. How funny is that? Oh. And if you have never played Okami, you fail at life. You can get it on both the Wii and PS2!

Have fun guessing where the title is from. Lots of good games there too.

Post Maud Pie: So Inkie's scene versus the rock... I guess she learned that from her sister.

This chapter was written about a year and a half before that scene from the show!

Final Boss

Main Characters: TWP, Trixie, Alphonse, Maxie, Twilight, Applejack, Lyra, Lucas, Stormy
Cameos: Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Spike, Inkie, Rei, Rip, Marvel, Image, Dream Maker, Kaeko, Oatmeal, CMC, Luna, Derpy, Bon Bon
Original Write Date: 03/08/2012

The Wandering Cloud’s party, minus Twilight, are sitting on a beach near the Tiny Bronco. They are all tired from the recent battles, even Cait Sith. The Wandering Cloud is sitting on one of the wings of the Tiny Bronco and staring out to sea. Applejack climbs up next to him. After exchanging looks, she leans against him, shoulder to shoulder.

‘Ya know. We could take all the time we want t’ get t’ her.’

‘Would that really change anything?’ The Wandering Cloud asks. ‘We have spent days in this illusion and probably no more than a hour in real time.’

‘Do ya really wanna rush ahead like this?’

The Wandering Cloud looks over and gives a half-hearted smile.

Applejack’s eyes go wide. ‘Y’all have a plan, don’t ya?’

The Wandering Cloud stands up. ‘Indeed I do, Mr Purple.’

Applejack smiles and stands with her friend.

Adult Derpy walks out of a desert sandstorm with Fluttershy hovering nearby. They are heading towards a colossus in a small desert oasis.

‘I really just don’t see it,’ Derpy says.

‘Why not? It is one of the better pairings,’ Fluttershy argues.

‘It just doesn’t... feel canon, you know?’

‘Why not? He is a farmer in the next game in the timeline.’

‘He is also a former knight and a train engineer in the other timelines. Don’t forget, there are three outcomes.’

Fluttershy crosses her forelegs. ‘You just don’t like it because it means you would have to work with animals.’

‘Hey, if this was about professions, then Link should end up with the mailpony to match with my career.’

‘Well, he is the Hero of the Equestrian People...’ Fluttershy giggles.

‘Hey! What does that mean!’

Fluttershy giggles more and flies ahead with Derpy giving chase.

Trixie hides under her hooves to try to block out the illusions from the mushroom event. Boney is barking nonstop.

‘You’re worthless! How can you call yourself a pony! You can’t even defend yourself!’

‘Stop. Please stop.’ Trixie sobs between the shouting.

‘Why should it stop? Are you afraid of the truth? You’re so pathe...’

There is a bright flash and silence. Trixie looks from under her hooves to see Stormy standing over her. He is growling toward something, and his horn has an aura around it. Trixie looks over to see Lucas picking himself up.

‘Lay off her, okay!’ Stormy yells. ‘The in-game event is bad enough. You don’t have to be an ass about it.’

Lucas stands and charges a spell. ‘Come on. You have been standing up for her since she joined the party. She has done nothing but cause us trouble since she arrived in town, and you have been on her side like she didn’t do a thing.’

‘I don’t care what she may or may not have done. You are being a jerk and a bully! Show her a little sympathy.’

‘Come off it. You have been so far up her plot, it is hard to tell where one of you stop and the other begins. What? Do you like her too? Do you not care about Rei any more?’

‘You know as well as I do Rei loves Inkie more than the rest of us. Does that even matter? Who cares which pony likes who?’

‘What? Shut up.’

Stormy sighs and diffuses his magic. ‘Listen. Forget about it. Let’s just beat the game.’

Stormy offer a hoof to help Trixie up. She shakes as she takes the help. She is still shaky on her legs, but she offers Stormy a friendly smile and loving nuzzle as thanks.

‘Don’t worry. I’ll keep you safe,’ Stormy soothes, returning the nuzzle.

‘Thank you,’ Trixie replies. ‘Nopony has really said that to me...’

Stormy gives Trixie another nuzzle as she starts crying. Suddenly, Trixie screams and pushes Stormy away. Trixie is hit with a small bolt of lightning and drops to the ground. Stormy spins around. He sees Lucas and Boney fighting a monster. Lucas is using lightning spells to fight. Stormy starts fuming and drawing magical energies into himself.

Lucas glances over. ‘Sorry. Somepony had to watch your back.’

The monster falls, and Lucas turns to the others. He quickly raises a shield to deflect the magical blast heading his way. The magic subsides, leaving Stormy barely standing and panting. The crack on his horn has reopened, and blood pours down his face.

‘WHAT THE SERIOUS F...!’ Lucas shouts before he is tackled by Stormy.

‘You did that on purpose!’ Stormy shouts as he knocks Lucas to the ground. ‘We were nowhere near you and you tried to hit us! ... You tried to kill her!’

Stormy tries to stomp Lucas, but the older colt rolls out of the way. Lucas quickly gets to his hooves.

‘It was an accident!’ Lucas yells back. ‘She is fine!’

The unicorn colts look over at Trixie. She is laying on the ground, gasping for breath as Boney sits next to her and whimpers. Stormy turns back to Lucas, the magic flowing into him again. Lucas strikes a defensive posture and raises several magical shields.

The Wandering Cloud’s party has made it to Bone Village. They are all on edge about the upcoming event, except for the two illusory characters. James is sitting away from the rest of the party, thinking to himself. The sound of hooves on the ground draws his attention. He turns to see Image trotting up.

‘Hey, Mr Wanderer,’ Image greets.

‘Image.’

Image sits beside The Wandering Cloud. ‘I know what you are thinking.’

‘Do you now?’

‘It is pretty obvious. And I don’t just mean that you are worried about Twilight. It is pretty obvious what you are planning on doing.’

‘Enlighten me.’

Image shakes his head. ‘I don’t want to. It would mean acknowledging that I am going to lose the best neighbor we ever had.’

‘Oh?’

‘Not just that, but I don’t think it will truly change anything in the illusion. We’ll still be trapped.’

‘Image...’ The Wandering Cloud leans back. ‘I know you are a bright kid. You are really clever. You have a way of seeing the world in ways that I bet the princesses are jealous about, but I can assure you, this one time, you are wrong.’

‘Am I really?’ Image looks over at the older pony. ‘Rei told me you would do anything for Twilight and about her birth father. I have seen the rules of this world for what they are. Those facts together...’

‘Image, go to bed.’

‘But...’

‘You know the party I am taking with me is AJ and Inkie. It would be weird if there was a fourth member.’

Image sighs. ‘Yes, sir. Good luck with your plan.’

Image trots away sulking. He looks up briefly as Applejack passes him. She trots over and sits by The Wandering Cloud.

‘Is what he was sayin’ true? Ya gonna trade yerself fer Twi?’

‘Applejack, she is the most important pony in the world to me. I would die a million deaths for her.’

Applejack frowns and looks down. ‘But what about us...’ She forces back tears. ‘What about Pinkie and Rei and Fluttershy and Rarity and Selene and... and... me....’

Applejack is the one surprised by a kiss this time. Her eyes go wide before she sighs contently. The Wandering Cloud backs away and smiles.

‘You know. For luck.’

Applejack blushes. ‘Jerk.’

The Wandering Cloud stands. ‘I would do the same thing for all of you. No pony is more important to me than my friends. All of them.’ He stretches a bit. ‘And don’t think you are going to lose me that easily.’ He sighs. ‘Get Inkie. It is time.’

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie have gotten separated from the rest of their party. They are pinned down in a small bunker. Endless waves of attackers are swarming all over their shelter. Rainbow Dash fires a burst from her machine gun before ducking back down.

‘Just bucking great.’ Rainbow Dash curses. ‘I am almost out of ammo.’

‘I’ve just been shouting “bang bang bang” to try and conserve ammo!’ Pinkie yells back.

‘Oh buck me...’ Rainbow Dash facehooves.

A large Lambent rises over the bunker walls, but it is quickly mowed down. More weapon fire drives off the advancing attackers. Spike dives into the bunker while Kaeko covers him with complex Lancer attacks that slice up the hordes.

‘Where have you two been?’ Spike shouts.

Pinkie grabs Spike in a hug. ‘Thank Celestia you are safe! I was so worried about you!’

Spike blushes. ‘Yeah... well... We brought more ammo. Come on. Let’s get out of here.’

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie reload and follow Spike out into the path Kaeko is slashing through the battlefield.

Rarity is trotting along inside a cave with Issun riding on her horn again.

‘That was a little embarrassing, but I am so glad I was able to show up that snooty, half-baked prophet.’ Rarity laughs to herself.

‘I don’t think when he said the moon would come out that he meant for you to do that to him,’ Issun replies.

‘Oh hush. He had it coming.’ Rarity scolds. ‘Now, where are we again? Some Moon Cave or something?’

Bon Bon and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are fighting a giant, fire-breathing turtle-dragon creature. The group is dodging fireballs coming from all directions as they make their way through a lava-filled corridor.

‘Miss Bon Bon! Save us!’ Sweetie Belle cries.

‘What happened to Cutie Mark Crusader Koopa Stompers!’ Bon Bon shouts back.

‘That was before he was huge!’ Scootaloo replies.

‘I don’t know what you want me to do,’ Bon Bon groans.

‘Ah don’ know. Don’ y’all have an Element o’ Harmony Beam like mah big sister?’ Apple Bloom asks.

‘I don’t have anything like...’

Bon Bon trails off. She looks back at the giant Koopa advancing on them. Bon Bon turns and stands her ground. Koopa roars with enough force to push her back a few centimeters. Bon Bon points a hoof into the air.

‘PLASMA BUSTER!’

Everypony looks around for something to happen. Koopa starts laughing to himself and takes a step closer to the steadfast mare. Out of nowhere, a scream comes racing toward the group. Koopa looks back to see a white pegasus wearing a crown being chased by a massive flock of very angry birds. Rei ducks under Koopa’s arm and hides behind Bon Bon. All of the birds, their eggs, and all of their secondary explosions hit Koopa squarely in the back. The massive beast roars as he is knocked into the lava. Koopa tries reaching out to pull himself up, but one last red bird hits his claw and they go under.

‘Holy Celestia. That actually worked.’ Bon Bon is stunned.

‘Save me,’ Rei peeps.

‘That was awesome!’ The Cutie Mark Crusaders cheer.

‘Bon Bon was all...’ Apple Bloom starts.

‘Then Rei was all...’ Scootaloo adds.

‘And Koopa was all...’ Sweetie Belle finishes.

The three fillies high hoof. ‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MARE-IO SISTERS!’

Bon Bon sighs. ‘That will do girls.’

A pink light descends from above. The ponies look up to see a peach-colored alicorn floating down to greet them. The alicorn lands among the group. She bows to them and proceeds to kiss each on the forehead.

‘Does it bother anypony else that the reward for saving the princess is a kiss?’ Sweetie Belle asks. ‘I mean, we’re all girls!’

The other ponies stare back. ‘No...’

Scootaloo looks over at Apple Bloom and grins. Apple Bloom blushes and looks away.

Rei stares up at Princess Peach. ‘Trade you crowns.’

The Wandering Cloud, Applejack and Inkie make their way through the City of the Ancients below Bone Village. They are descending a long staircase towards a small sanctuary at the middle of a pool. A small pink-and-purple figure is in the center of the sanctuary. The group slows when they hear Twilight praying.

‘Please, Celestia, Luna. Protect me,’ Twilight prays. ‘I am so scared. I have never been more scared in my life. I don’t know what to do... Celestia... Protect me...’ She pauses and starts sobbing. ‘James... I have never believed in anypony as much as I believe in you. Wherever you are. Don’t quit just to save me. That will be just as bad as if you let me die since you will be losing the part of you I love the most, your caring. ... Please don’t quit... I love you and always will...’

The Wandering Cloud stops at the bottom of the stairs. His tears are falling beside him as he stares out at Twilight. Applejack gives her friend a nuzzle.

‘We’re ready whenever you are.’

The Wandering Cloud nods and backs up a few steps. [At this point, I highly recommend, to the point of insisting, that you play Final Boss by MC Frontalot.] He readies himself and gallops at full speed towards Twilight.
…

Rarity is standing her ground against an eight-headed serpent. She plants her hooves firmly on the stone below her and lets out a howl that pierces the clouds overhead.
…

Derpy and Fluttershy are in a confined room with two rows of pillars lining the hall. A large suit of armor sits at the other end of the hallway. Derpy readies her Mirror Shield in front of her and draws the Master Sword.
…

Lucas’ shield bears the brunt of a powerful fire spell. He casts an ice spell in response, but Stormy dodges and delivers a hoof across Lucas’ jaw.
…

Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, Spike and Kaeko are boxed in a narrow alleyway. Pinkie and Spike are firing into the endless hordes in front of and behind them. Rainbow Dash is trying to provide support from above as best as she can. Kaeko is locked in melee combat with a fearsome Locust.
…

The Wandering Cloud gallops as hard as he can for Twilight. A small glint catches his eye from above.
…

Lucas has Stormy on his back and is stomping the younger colt’s face into the ground. Stormy is able to push Lucas away for a moment. He stabs upwards with his head and slashes Lucas’ neck with his horn.
…

Derpy takes a strong hit from the armor’s massive axe. The blow sends her flying through a wooden door. She tumbles to the ground at the base of a massive altar. Fluttershy rushes to her friend’s aide. The armor steps through the hole and advances. Above the injured pony, a pair of witches circle.
…

A Lambent leaps up the side of a building and catches Rainbow Dash by the wings. She tumbles to the ground. Pinkie is able to dispatch the attacker for her friend, but the hordes do not back down.
…

The Wandering Cloud pushes his body as hard as he can to gain speed. Twilight hears the galloping and turns back. The flash of light from above gets closer.
…

Rarity has felled three of the serpent’s heads and is fighting a head that is breathing fire. A gas cloud explodes beside the battle. Rarity falls back and paints some wind to blow the gas away. Once the cloud is gone, she is faced with a flaming maw barreling towards her.
…

The three ponies are forced back-to-back-to-back as they fight the closing hordes. Spike is standing on Kaeko and firing over her head. Rainbow Dash turns to Pinkie.

‘Pinkie, I...’

Pinkie puts a hoof on Rainbow Dash’s mouth. ‘I know.’
…

‘Get up! Hurry! Get up!’ Fluttershy shouts as loud as she can.

Derpy opens her eyes. They are spinning around more than they normally do. Once her vision clears, she sees a witch powering up a spell on her wand. Derpy looks at her friend then hits Fluttershy across the room as hard as she can. The witch lowers her wand and fires an ice beam.
…

Lucas and Stormy are bloody and beaten. Lucas is covered in injuries, but Stormy is bleeding profusely from his horn. Both unicorns charge spells and gallop at each other.
…

The Wandering Cloud is only meters away from Twilight. Twilight mouths ‘James’ as tears stream down her face. The Wandering Cloud leaps. He collides midair with a massive cloaked object. A blade, almost two meters long, falls to the ground and embeds itself in the stone. The Wandering Cloud and the object land in the pool beside Twilight. Twilight stares into the pool.

‘JAMES!’

Seconds later, The Wandering Cloud bursts from the water. He swims over to the sanctuary and climbs out. Twilight immediately wraps her forelegs around him and sobs into his chest.

‘You saved me, James! I cannot believe it. You saved me.’

The Wandering Cloud smiles and returns the hug. Applejack and Inkie gallop up. Applejack stops and smiles at her friends. The Wandering Cloud looks up and smiles at Applejack. Inkie disappears. The Wandering Cloud looks down and takes Twilight’s muzzle in his hoof. Applejack disappears. Twilight leans up and kisses The Wandering Cloud. The sanctuary and pool disappear around the couple. They break the kiss and stare into each other’s eyes.

‘I love you, Twilight.’

Twilight disappears before she can reply. James sighs and closes his eyes. The world goes dark around him.

The Heroic Physicist moans and rubs his head. He is still sitting at the kitchen table with Trixie, but there are half a dozen other unicorns in the room with them. They are in a state of shock and exhaustion. The Defensive Physicist spots a target and flies to his feet. He swiftly bucks the confused Oatmeal into the wall. The Combative Physicist draws his sonic and blasts his microwave. The device explodes on the troll, injuring him further. The Angered Physicist scans the room.

‘Who did Gears!’ He searches the room. ‘Who!’

A nervous unicorn raises a foreleg. The Raging Physicist rushes over and bucks the the unicorn so hard that the unicorn is knocked into the wall and gets his horn stuck. Trixie moans as she starts waking.

‘Final Fantasy!’ The Destructive Physicist shouts.

All the unicorns back away, leaving only Maxie standing.

‘I should have figured.’ The Rampaging Physicist growls. He starts marching on Maxie. ‘I should have figured you were the only pony stupid enough to threaten Twilight. You are the greatest scum to have ever walked this planet. Discord and Nightmare Moon at their worst never would have risked their lives by doing something that stupid.’

The Deadly Physicist stands over Maxie. There is a bright purple flash as Twilight teleports into the room.

‘James!’ Twilight shouts as she runs by his side. ‘Don’t do anything you would regret.’

‘Yes! Please don’t kill me!’ Maxie begs.

‘Death would be too good for you,’ The Vengeful Physicist growls. He aims his sonic and activates it. ‘You might feel a slight burning on your horn but don’t worry, it will be over soon. All of your magic days will be over. I set this to a frequency that will depolarize your horn as a magic resonator. You will be a unicorn without magic. Without the ability to do what makes your special. You are now a pony without a purpose.’ He leans in close. ‘Now, I bet you wish you asked me to kill you.’

The Calming Physicist turns away from Maxie and starts taking some deep breaths to calm himself down. He looks around the room. The worried Twilight and Trixie are just watching their friend while the other unicorns wonder what is in store for them. A lone unicorn is passed out near the bedrooms.

‘What game did he do?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘Uh... Angry Birds,’ One of the unicorns replies.

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Good girl, Rei.’

Luna and her royal guards herd the criminals onto wagons. All of the arrested unicorns has magic suppressing rings on their horns. The Wandering Physicist and Twilight are meeting with Luna as the final criminals are loaded onto the transports. Rei has tagged along to see Luna again.

‘Thank you for your assistance.’ Luna bows. ‘Equestria is once again in your debt.’

‘Thank you, Luna.’ The three ponies bow in return.

‘This was quite an interesting situation. I was surprised how well the townsfolk were able to keep their heads about them,’ Luna comments.

‘Well, when you have to face gods of chaos, giant bears, rampaging dragons, guardians of the underworld, uh, you, uh, twice... uh, every week, I think we have gotten used to it,’ Twilight replies.

‘Indeed.’ Luna nods. ‘I shall remain behind to help with the town’s recovery.’

‘No other reason?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘I can create a few,’ Luna winks.

Twilight groans and rolls her eyes.

‘Yay! The princess is staying over!’ Rei cheers. ‘First, I get Trixie, now Luna is staying with me!’

‘I think Luna would prefer to stay somewhere other than with us,’ The Wandering Physicist sighs.

Says you. Twilight and Luna think in unison.

A pegasus guard steps up and salutes. ‘All prisoners accounted for.’

‘Excellent.’ Luna nods in approval. ‘Move them out at your leisure.’

The guard salutes. The other guards start closing up the wagons and preparing to lift off. There is a commotion at one of the wagons, followed by a loud crash. Alphonse tries running from the wagon he was detained in. The guards scramble to recapture their prisoner.

‘Hold on!’ Rei steps forward. ‘I got this!’

Rei pulls a bit out of a pouch and tosses it in the air. She stomps the ground and gets an electrical charge on her hoof. She draws a circle of electricity in the air then punches the bit through the circle as it falls. The bit shoots off at supersonic speeds and strikes Alphonse in the back of the head. He tumbles head over hooves as he falls to the ground. The guards quickly retain their unconscious prisoner. Twilight and Luna stare at the young pegasus in shock.

‘Since when could you do that?’ Twilight asks.

Rei shrugs. ‘I don’t know. Just tried it for the first time now.’

‘You don’t say...’ Luna ponders.

Later in the evening, Twilight is staying over with The Wandering Physicist. She has given up her home for Princess Luna. Trixie is at her apartment, wanting a change of scenery herself. The Wandering Physicist has a foreleg over Twilight as they lay on the couch watching the news.

... Following up our lead story of the major crime bust this morning, we are now receiving reports of the head of that organization has been found dead in his jail cell in Manehattan. This is unusual since the authorities said he had no belongings and there was only one access point to the cell. Authorities believe...

Twilight turns off the television and cuddles up next to her coltfriend.

‘I am tired of hearing about that all day.’

‘Then you should probably avoid any news outlets for the next few days.’

Twilight groans then goes back to leaning on her coltfriend. She sighs again and looks up. ‘How did you know that was going to work? How did you know you could save me?’

‘There were enough hints along the way that the illusions weren’t exactly to script with the game. Little changes could easily be compensated, but one that would break the game...’

‘So you crashed the game? How did you know that would work?’

The Embarrassed Physicist looks away. ‘I may have worked QA on a certain superhero game of infinite glitchiness.’

Twilight giggles. ‘So because the game required... that... you were able to create a game-killing glitch where I lived.’

The Humble QA laughs. Twilight gives her coltfriend a kiss. After they exchange smiles, Twilight gets a bit of a frown and looks down again.

‘What would you have done if you couldn’t save me?’ She worries.

The Stoic Physicist sighs and stares ahead at the blank television. ‘I would have killed them.’

Twilight gasps. ‘James!’

‘I would have surrendered to bring you all back. Then when they came for Trixie, I would have eliminated all of them. Then I would have left all of you because I could never face you again. I would have been a bigger monster than the greatest villains in Equestrian history.’

Twilight is shocked. ‘How can you say such a thing?’

‘It wasn’t only you, Twilight... Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike... Their scenarios... They were all on the brink of being killed as well. I... I just can’t allow my friends to suffer. I would have destroyed who I am to save them.’

Twilight gives The Wandering Physicist a nuzzle. ‘I thought we were making progress with your anger... I’m sorry,’

‘I am sorry you have to put up with me.’ The Wandering Physicist pouts.

Twilight gives The Wandering Physicist another nuzzle. ‘Let’s forget about it. Come on, let’s do something to take our minds off of today.’

The Wandering Physicist smiles down at Twilight. She looks up and smiles.

‘Want to play some Kirby’s Return to Dreamland?’ He offers.

‘I hate you so much right now,’ Twilight giggles.

A few days pass and life in Ponyville returns to normal. Coal and Droll have returned with Trixie’s wagon, and she has recovered enough to resume her scheduled travels. She is saying farewell to her friends. Trixie is currently getting a long hug from Rei. Stormy is standing off to the side waiting his turn. Most of the other ponies have said their farewell and returned to their business. The Wandering Physicist is the only remaining adult in the group.

‘Miss Rei, I do appreciate your affection, but I must insist on hitting the road soon.’

Rei sits back and pouts. ‘Fine.’

Trixie laughs. ‘Now, you mentioned having tickets to my Canterlot show. Do you have them?’

There is a brief afterimage as Rei flies off. She in almost instantly back with her tickets in hoof.

‘How many did you get? Are they good seats?’

‘I got one for all of my friends! Inkie and Stormy and Lucas and Image and even one for little Dinky since she wanted to come too,’ Rei explains. ‘I got the best seats I could afford so they are the best seats for the show!’

Trixie nods and thinks. ‘That will do nicely.’

Trixie takes the tickets with her magic, getting a loud shout from Rei. In return, a set of badges on lanyards are levitated back to Rei.

‘Consider this a trade, some all access passes for your tickets.’ Rei’s eyes go wide and she squeals with excitement. ‘As for these extra tickets... Trixie thinks there may be some underprivileged foals who would enjoy the show as much as you would.’

‘I doubt anypony would enjoy the show more than her.’ Stormy sighs.

Rei gallops down the street and is showing everypony her passes. The Wandering Physicist does his best to try to catch her and calm her down. The unicorns laugh a bit at their friends.

Trixie sighs. ‘Mister Stormy... Trixie will admit to missing you more than she should.’

Stormy blushes a bit. ‘I will miss you too. I still feel bad that I failed at keeping my promise right after I made it.’

‘The sentiment was still a lot more than Trixie has ever gotten from most ponies. I do feel responsible for your horn, though.’

Stormy nervously laughs. ‘It is okay. The doctor was more surprised that I was able to psychosomatically reopen my wound. They have gotten used to me reopening it so much they told me that it has started actually healing faster than normal.’

‘But it must hurt. I heard such a dreadful scream the other night.’

‘That was....’ Stormy looks for the right words. ‘Let’s just say if a crazy alien offers to heal you, you will either feel nothing or like your body is made of supernovae, but you’ll be fine afterwards.’

Trixie laughs. ‘Trixie understands. Still, thank you for being so gallant.’

Trixie leans in and gives Stormy a kiss on the cheek. Stormy blushes, but his eyes suddenly go wide.

‘Uh, Trixie...’

‘Yes?’

‘Our horns are touching.’

Trixie grins. ‘I know.’

Trixie moves closer and gives Stormy a full kiss on the lips. The younger unicorn is surprised for a moment then returns the affection. Behind the couple, The Wandering Physicist is hanging from Rei’s hind legs as she flies off to find more ponies to show off her passes.

Author's Note

TWP vs The World: The Game Arc 3 - Final

TWP Timeline: First time he and Twilight say those three words to each other.

Story Timeline: Maxie and Al are defeated. *Victory music. +15 AP. +5000 gil. TWP x Twilight gains a level.* Stormy and Trixie start dating.

Number of times Stormy cracked his horn: 3

Well, This Happened

Main Characters: Lots or few? Boing.
Cameos: Few or lots? Dakota.
Original Write Date: 03/08/2012

Warning: There is a lot of implied sexual conduct and a lot of explicit sexual humor. If you are offended by this type of humor, feel free to skip this story. Otherwise, enjoy probably the most mature story in the series for a long time if ever.

James moans and stretches his arms as he sits up in bed. He checks his mobile and is happy to wake up past noon as usual. He slides out of bed and heads out to get ready for the day. The rest of the residence is empty. Rei must have been running late again since her shoes are left piled by her slippers at the entrance. Normally, Fluttershy would have picked them up but not if Rei overslept. He laughs and heads to the washroom to clean up.

After brushing his hair and getting a change of clothes, James heads down to the main floor of The Power Block. The shop is lightly populated, and Lucas is relaxing at the counter next to an interesting guest.

Lyra is getting a lot of stares from how she is sitting on the counter. Or it could be the cut of dress she is wearing as she kicks her legs against the counter. As soon as James reaches the main floor, Lyra lights up, sets down her lyre and waves him over.

‘Hey James!’ Lyra cheers. ‘How’s it going?’

‘Shouldn’t you be in class right now?’ James asks.

Lyra checks a watch. ‘I am still on lunch break. Anyway, I have an offer for you.’

James facepalms. ‘No, I am not really a pony in human form, and nothing you can say can change that.’

‘Aww! I mean!’ Lyra catches herself. ‘No, what I was going to say is that the family beach house back west is going to be free for the rest of the summer. My parents are chill with letting me borrow it. I figure a beach vacay is a good way to pay you back for helping us in the capital a while back.’

‘Uh, pay us all back?’ Lucas asks.

‘Of course!’ Lyra cheers. ‘Well, up to a dozen of you since we only have six spare rooms, not counting Bon Bon and me in the master bedroom.’

‘Six rooms!’ James and Lucas exclaim.

‘Holy cow.’ Lucas is shocked.

‘Yeah,’ James agrees. ‘Judging by your place in the capital, I would have thought you would have more than that.’

Lyra narrows her eyes and glares. ‘When have you been in my place back home?’

James stares back. ‘You had us over after the mission, genius.’

‘Oh right!’ Lyra’s mobile buzzes. She checks it and sighs. ‘Well, get back to me soon and I’ll make the arrangements. I have to “get back to work” or else I am “fired”. Pfft. Some people.’

Lyra hops off the counter and heads out the door, lyre in hand. She flashes the peace sign as she leaves. James turns to Lucas.

‘You’re going.’

‘What! But you know I get sea sick!’ Lucas complains.

‘Then stay on the beach and read. I am sure Twilight and Rainbow Dash will love having a reading buddy.’

Lucas groans in protest as he watches his boss round the counter. ‘If I keep complaining, you’re just going to make me take a state-mandated vacation, aren’t you?’

James gets out the company Chromebook and heads back to the main floor. He stops to think. ‘Huh. I’ll have to give Rei some money so she can take Inkie swimsuit shopping. I am certain she will want to get a new bikini for the trip.’

Lucas glares at his boss. ‘I hate you so much right now.’

A pair of airport shuttles pull away from a large, beachfront mansion after dropping off the passengers and luggage. A large group of people stand in awe of the mansion before them. At the front of the group, Lyra is trying to open the front doors. She is tugging hard on the doors and trying every combination of the keys she has been given. The rest of the visitors are too busy taking in the atmosphere to care.

‘Why won’t you open!’ Lyra shouts.

James clears his throat and steps forward. ‘Might I help?’

‘What? Are you going to use your super alien brain to figure out which key it is?’

James holds up his sonic. ‘Or I could just use my screwdriver.’

Lyra grumbles and steps aside. James gives the doors a quick once over with the sonic, and they swing open effortlessly. Lyra snatches up her bag from where Bon Bon was tending it. The others gather their bags and follow Lyra inside. As impressed as the group was with the outside of the outside of the mansion, they are even more impressed with the inside.

‘I knew your family was rich...’ Bon Bon muses.

Lyra checks her nails and pretends to not care. ‘Well, we are sandwiched between some new moneys, but it does fine.’

‘Holy guacamole!’ Spike shouts. ‘Your entire house back home can fit in here, Twilight!’

‘Thanks, Spike,’ Twilight groans.

Rarity fluffs her hair. ‘I guess this is posh, but is it posh enough?’

‘Geez,’ Rainbow Dash groans. ‘Only you can complain about a mansion.’

‘Well, I just see where there can be room for improvement...’

There is a collective thud as all of Rarity’s friends facepalm.

‘Hey!’ Rei calls from a landing at the top of a staircase. ‘Which room is mine!’

‘D’oh!’ Twilight grunts. ‘I knew there was something I forgot to plan.’

‘Bon Bon and I get the master bedroom.’ Lyra grabs Bon Bon around the waist. ‘That way we won’t keep all of you up with the noise.’

Bon Bon squeals. ‘Lyra! Stop it. You’re embarrassing me.’

Lyra kisses her wife on the cheek. ‘No. That will come later.’ She leans in and whispers. ‘As will you.’

Bon Bon blushes and squirms in her wife’s arms. Everyone looks embarrassed. The young Spike looks shocked as he stares at the couple.

‘What did she say!’ Rei shouts down. ‘Also! I put my stuff in that big room! Okay?’

‘Rei! No! Find a different room!’ James shouts back up. He looks over at Inkie. ‘Make sure you two get a good room.’

‘Me and Rei...’ Inkie smiles and blushes. ‘Okay!’

Inkie grabs her bag and runs up to meet Rei. Lyra and Bon Bon follow Inkie up. James picks up his bags and starts heading towards the bedrooms.

‘I think I should share a room with Lucas to avoid any potential awkward pairings. We don’t want a repeat of the cruise.’ He stops to think. ‘Stormy, you should stay with Spike.’

‘But, what about me...’ Fluttershy peeps.

Rarity puts an arm around her friend. ‘You can stay with me, Mrs Wanderer.’

Fluttershy blushes and nods. Twilight, Pinkie and Applejack all growl at Fluttershy’s title, which lifts Fluttershy’s spirits again. Rarity starts leading Fluttershy away, passing James along the way.

Rarity looks back. ‘No offense, but I want to get one of the fancier rooms before anyone else can gyp me.’

‘Hey!’ Rei calls down. ‘We found a really fancy guest room! Is that okay!’

‘What!’ Rarity shouts. She starts running up the stairs with Fluttershy in tow.

‘Good girl!’ James shouts up as he continues to climb the stairs.

The remaining four women look among each other.

‘So, who do y’all want t’ bunk with?’ Applejack asks.

‘Ooo! Ooo!’ Pinkie cheers. ‘Twilight should stay with me! Since we are always up late anyway, we won’t bother each other and can do each others hair and chat and all sorts of fun sleepovery things!’

‘Pinkie. I am up all night studying,’ Twilight groans. ‘I prefer to do that in quiet.’

‘Did you bring any extra Daring Do!’ Rainbow Dash asks forcefully.

‘Uh... Sorry.’ Twilight gives a bashful grin.

Rainbow Dash growls. ‘Lame sauce!’ She takes her bag and leaves. ‘One of you take her. She’s useless.’

‘Rainbow!’ Twilight shouts.

Applejack pats Twilight on the back. ‘Come on, Twi. We can bunk together.’

‘Aww! What about the Twinkie Pie Team of Awesomeness?’ Pinkie pouts.

‘Pinkie. Remember the last time we tried to share something?’

‘Aww! But James is here this time. What are the odds that we will have another fight to the death with laser swords over a volcano?’

Twilight just stares blankly at her friend before turning and walking up the stairs to catch up with Applejack. Pinkie pouts for a moment then sighs and shrugs.

‘Yeah. I guess that sounds pretty likely to me too. Dashie! Wait up!’

To celebrate the first night at Lyra’s beach house, the guests are having a beachside barbecue. After eating, everyone is hanging out on the beach, chatting, playing beach games, and, in Rei’s case, taking a swim. James comes outside with his mobile in hand. After a few steps out of the door, he stops, looks around, goes to a nearby column and marks a spot near its peak. Rarity comes over from where she was watching Applejack and Rainbow Dash try to out-frisbee each other.

‘What do you have going on here?’ Rarity asks.

James looks up. ‘Huh? Oh. Just helping Lyra fix up her house a bit.’

‘Oh? How so, darling?’

‘I’m finding the spots where her network cuts out, and Lucas and Inkie are wiring up switches and routers as needed.’

Twilight, listening in, groans and hits her book against her head. James snorts and looks back in the house for his assistants. Lucas comes walking up with a drill and a router in hand. James taps the mark. Lucas moans and gets to work.

‘Couldn’t you have just soniced their network?’ Lucas grumbles.

‘Please. It was completely nonexistent to begin with. Besides, how many of these did we really have to set up?’

‘You weren’t the one who had to carry everything around the house.’

‘And you weren’t the one hunting the signal.’

‘And neither of you are the ones willing to give up constant internet for a while,’ Twilight groans.

‘OOO!’ Rarity gasps while checking her mobile. ‘My shoe outlet is having a sale! Buy~ing~!’

Rarity wanders back inside while fiddling with her mobile. Twilight moans again and starts hitting her forehead with her book. Lucas finishes his work and heads back inside right as Inkie is heading out. Bon Bon goes over to Twilight. She pats the younger woman on the shoulder.

‘There, there.’ Bon Bon comforts. ‘You and I are only a few years apart, and some of the stuff your generation does confuses me too.’

Lyra walks out with a pair of nightgowns in her hands. ‘Hon, which one would you like better for sexy cuddling smoocherific times later?’

Bon Bon facepalms. ‘Of course there are some in my generation that continually baffle me. Fortunately, there are plenty of large and comfortable couches to sleep on.’

Lyra pouts and crosses her arms. ‘Fine. Neither of these. I’m still wearing what I picked out for myself though.’

Lyra marches back into the mansion with her gowns. Bon Bon watches her wife go for a moment before it hits her.

‘Wait. What?’ Bon Bon exclaims. ‘Lyra! Wait!’

Bon Bon rushes to catch up with her wife. Twilight sighs and turns back to her book. That is when she notices that James is sitting right next to her and staring at his mobile. She groans yet again.

‘You should really read a book sometime.’

‘I am.’ He flashes his mobile. ‘Kindle app.’

Twilight glares. ‘I hate you so much right now.’

Applejack leaps high into the air to catch a pass from Rainbow Dash. The catch elicits cheers from Spike, Pinkie and Inkie. Rei steps out of the ocean and looks for her towel.

‘Thank you. Thank you.’ Rei bows. ‘And, yes, I am that awesome.’

‘Not you, genius,’ Stormy sighs. ‘We’re watching them.’

Rei growls at Stormy as she dries her hair. She does a quick hip thrust in his direction, getting him to take an extra stare at the cutie mark sticking out from under her swimsuit. Stormy turns back to the game, blushing the same color as his hair. He notices Inkie staring at Rei as well.

Applejack looks for an opening with Rainbow Dash. The shorter woman is using her height to her advantage and sticking low to the ground but with knees bent, ready to jump. Applejack snorts, adjusts her hat and shoots a fast but wide, throw. Rainbow dashes and intercepts the frisbee in mid arc. She spins it briefly on a finger and fires it right back, faster than she received it. The frisbee also curves up, causing Applejack to literally hold on to her hat as she avoids being hit. Rainbow Dash lets out a laugh as Applejack regains her composure.

‘Ha! Go fetch, Winona,’ Rainbow Dash gloats.

Applejack growls. ‘At least she’d play fair...’

‘What is there to cheat in frisbee?’ Rainbow Dash turns away. ‘Now, go get it.’ She pauses for a moment before turning and sticking her tongue out.

Applejack turns and starts walking away to find the frisbee, all while grumbling and cursing Rainbow Dash. Before she can get too far, the frisbee wafts out of the dusk and lands in Applejack’s hands. A figure steps out of the growing darkness and strikes a pose with a cape flapping in the sea breeze.

‘Greeting, fair neighbors! The Great and Powerful Trixie welcomes you to this fine beach!’ Trixie greets. She holds her arms up into the air, and a pair of roman candles shoot off in her hands.

Twilight groans and facepalms. The beach patrons near Trixie step back to avoid the fireworks. Rei squeals with delight and claps. Lyra, Bon Bon, Fluttershy and Lucas all come outside to see what the excitement is about. Once her fireworks are spent, Trixie walks over to the deck where most of Lyra’s guests are gathered, stopping only to pat Rei on the head.

‘Trixie is here!’ Rei squeals. ‘Look, everyone! Trixie is here!’

‘We gathered that,’ Twilight jeers. ‘What are you doing here, Trixie?’

‘That’s no way to treat our neighbor, Twilight,’ Lyra scolds. ‘Actually, I am kind of surprised you are here.’

Trixie takes a seat at a table, throwing her cape over the back of the chair. ‘Well, I wasn’t planning on a vacation, but my schedule opened up and my mom is trying to suck up to me more than usual, probably because she still owes me for all of the hassle we had a few months back... Anyway! All I had to do was ask and our villa was mine for the taking.’

‘It is always a pleasure to see you again, Trixie,’ James greets.

‘Likewise, James,’ Trixie replies.

‘Why did you choose now, of all times, to come out here?’ Twilight asks.

‘Ah! A little fan of mine’ -- Rei squeals -- ‘told me about your planned excursion, and I figured it would be a wonderful time to visit my friends again.’

‘It is mighty nice seeing y’all again. Ah hope ya have some new stories about yer recent travels.’

‘Oh, indeed I do, Applejack.’ Trixie thinks. ‘Hmm. You know, I should have you over to visit. I am sure we have better libations than the usual Heartstrings fare.’

Lyra shrugs. ‘Meh. Probably.’

‘Libations?’ James asks. ‘Yeah. Me and Rei are definitely not coming over.’

Trixie sighs heavily. ‘Give that a rest, will you?’

‘Why should he?’ Twilight and Fluttershy snap. They briefly make eye contact and nod in agreement.

Trixie sighs again. ‘Fine. Oh! But I have an offer for all of you.’

‘I’ll take it!’ Rei says, instantly.

‘That will do, Rei.’ Trixie nods at the teenager. ‘As I was saying, since it is me all alone, not even a staff, at my place, I would be happy to host any of you if you so desire.’

‘No,’ James says bluntly.

Everyone knows who that was directed at as Rei moans as loudly as she can before falling back onto the beach to tantrum.

‘I may not have as many rooms as your gracious host,’ Trixie adds, ‘but, I am sure I can accommodate anyone with plenty of space for them.’ She smirks and puffs out her chest a bit. ‘Maybe a bit more space if Twilight accepts.’

Twilight looks down then turns away while covering her chest. The others mill about as they consider the offer. Trixie sighs and shrugs. She gets up from the table.

‘No need to rush a decision. I’ll be right down the beach if you need me.’

Trixie steps down from the deck and walks right into Stormy. Both of them exchange smiles.

‘Great to see you again, Trixie.’

‘Likewise, dear Stormy.’

They smile again before Trixie heads off down the beach. She stretches before disappearing out of eyesight. Everyone goes back to their business. Pinkie goes over to the still sulking Twilight.

‘It’s okay,’ Pinkie comforts. ‘That sort of thing doesn’t matter.’

‘Yeah!’ Rei adds, recovering from her tantrum. ‘In fact, at least you’re bigger than Rainbow Dash. So that is something.’

‘Hey! Watch it, punk!’ Rainbow Dash threatens.

‘Well, she does have a point,’ Bon Bon says.

Everyone turns to look at her.

Bon Bon blushes. ‘What! When Lyra says something like that, it is normal but not for me? Can’t I be allowed a tiny look once in awhile too?’

Lyra looks from Bon Bon to Twilight to Rainbow Dash before back to Bon Bon. ‘Okay, but just one of them can join at a time. I don’t want it to get weird.’

Twilight turns bright red and tries to hide behind her book. Fluttershy lets slip an extra loud laugh at her friends. Spike can barely look over at the woman who is like a big sister to him before blushing from the embarrassing thoughts he is having about Twilight.

‘Can this trip get any weirder?’ Rainbow Dash groans.

Rarity comes running out of the mansion. ‘OH! MY! CELESTIA!’

‘What?’ Everyone asks.

‘You’ll never believe it!’ Rarity holds up her mobile. ‘According to her Twitter, Trixie is in town and staying in a villa near here!’

Everyone groans and facepalms.

‘Well, I don’t think she is that bad,’ Rarity counters.

Applejack is out jogging on the beach after everyone has gone back inside for the night. She used the jog to familiarize herself with the area and make mental note of some places she would want to explore when the sun is out. She makes it back to the beach in front of Lyra’s mansion and sits down to take a rest along the shoreline. She stares out to sea, admiring the waves, while the water laps at her bare feet. Something in the waves catches her eye.

‘Incoming!’ shouts a person riding a boogie board.

Applejack screams and tries standing in time, but she is tackled by the rider and board. The pair tumble up the beach for a moment before coming to a stop. Applejack groans as she finds herself sandwiched between board and rider. Above her, James smiles down while wearing Applejack’s hat.

‘Sorry.’ He laughs. ‘Tried to warn ya.’

‘Lota good that did,’ Applejack growls. ‘Now if ya’d kindly get off o’ me...’

‘Sorry.’ James laughs.

He stands up and helps Applejack to her feet. She snatches her hat back and glares as soon as she is up. He finds his towel and offers it to Applejack first. Getting a curt head shake in return, James starts drying off and dressing before he gets too cold.

‘What are y’all doin’ out in the middle of the night anyway? Are ya crazy?’ Applejack pauses. ‘Wait. Ah know the answer t’ that last one.’

James laughs. ‘Heh. It has been so long since I was last out here like this, I sort of couldn’t resist.’ He slips on a shirt and looks over the ocean. ‘So great to be back.’

‘Yeah, but why head out at night?’

James gives a nervous smile. ‘Would you mind taking a walk with me?’

Applejack sighs. ‘Fine. Ah was needin’ a cool-down after mah run anyway.’

The pair start walking down the beach towards Trixie’s villa. They are relatively out of sight of the houses. After a few moments, Applejack looks over.

‘Well?’

‘Right,’ James sighs. ‘I’m afraid of sharks.’

Applejack is really confused now. ‘What?’

‘When I am deep enough water, my mind instantly fills that void with sharks. It is worse at night since the darkness makes all water seem like deep water to me.’

‘So y’all were jus’ givin’ yerself a friendly scare?’

James laughs. ‘More or less. You have to take some baby steps to get over your fears. What about you? Out for a moonlight stroll under the stars? ... Oh wait. That is what we are doing right now.’

Applejack blushes and looks away. ‘Actually, ah was just gettin’ a run in before callin’ it a night. We didn’ get much exercise with all of the travelin’ we did, so Ah wanted t’ get somethin’ done.’

‘Pfft! Come on. You always look after your body more than all of the people I know. I doubt it would hurt for you to take one day off.’

Applejack blushes even more and tries hiding under her hat. ‘Thanks... That actually means a lot t’ me.’

‘Just don’t take too many days off or you’ll end up looking like me.’

‘Y’all ain’t that bad. Jus’ gotta do something ‘bout yer hair.’

James raises an eyebrow. ‘What about my hair, Mr Purple?’

Applejack looks over and gives a friendly laugh. ‘Nothin’.’

The pair keep walking down the beach. Far in the distance, city lights come into view. After a bit, they stop at the edge of a tide pool. James crouches down and puts a hand in the water.

‘We should totally come back here later.’

Applejack smiles down at her friend. ‘Definitely.’

James stands and wipes his hand on his now-dry trunks. ‘Well, we should be getting back. I should shower before bed.’

‘Yeah. Me too.’

The walk back to the mansion is equally quiet. Along the way, Applejack slowly and unconsciously steps closer to James until she inadvertently puts her hand in his. He stops and turns to her. She catches herself and tries walk away, but she also refuses to let go. They stop with Applejack trying not to look back.

‘Appleja...’

Before James can finish, Applejack turns and gives him a kiss. They break and stare into each other’s eyes, something easy to do since Applejack is one of James’ few female friends near his height. Applejack bites her lip and looks away.

‘Ah am sorry, James, but Ah like ya! Ah really do! Y’all are jus’ so... different than the other guys Ah normally see.’

‘I don’t know what to say, Apple...’

Applejack cuts him off with another kiss. She leans with their foreheads touching. ‘Please don’ say my name. Ah am so used t’ ya teasin’ me that, when ya talk t’ me normal like...’ She shakes her head. ‘Ah feel so ashamed. First goin’ against Twi and Pinkie. Now, goin’ against Fluttershy. Ah jus’ can’t help myself.’

James takes Applejack’s other hand in his free hand and gives both a squeeze. ‘You have nothing to worry about.’

‘What do ya mean? Ah am goin’ against my best friends fer the guy they like. They’d hate me if they knew.’

James sighs. ‘There you go again. Little Miss Honesty worrying about being honest with the ones she cares about the most.’ Applejack looks away. ‘How about this: you can start by being honest with me. If you can work with a receptive audience, then that can give you courage to talk with the others, especially Fluttershy, about anything.’

‘Damn it. That is why Ah like ya. Yer always challenging me about somethin’. If yer not teasin’ me with yer weird nerd things, yer causin’ trouble with mah sister or doin’ somethin’ t’ get me. Yer the only one that doesn’ back down either. Ah like someone who is strong in their beliefs.’

Applejack gives James a peck on the cheek and lets go of his hands. She resumes walking back to the mansion. She stops almost instantly when she is grabbed around the waist.

‘You can be quite adorable when you are embarrassed like this.’

Applejack blushes and looks down. ‘Please don’ let go...’

‘Sorry, but I think I should before the missis catches us and she starts giving you as much grief as she gives Twilight.’

James lets Applejack go after a quick kiss to her cheek right when a torchlight comes into view. An anxious Fluttershy is looking around.

‘James! Where are you, James?’ Fluttershy calls.

‘Over here!’ James calls and waves. ‘Just out looking around with Applejack.’

Fluttershy runs over and grabs James in a hug. ‘Oh thank goodness. I saw your board unattended, and I thought you had gotten swept out to sea or drowned or...’ She starts crying.

James comforts her. ‘It’s all right. I stayed relatively close to shore the whole time, then I had a nice lifeguard show up.’

‘Thank you, Applejack,’ Fluttershy says. ‘I don’t know what I would do if I lost him.’

Applejack rubs the back of her head. ‘Shoot. Ah did nothin’. Ah jus’ showed up while he was there.’

‘Thank you anyway.’ Fluttershy turns back to James and brushes some sand from him. ‘Now, you go inside and get all cleaned up, okay?’

‘Yes, dear,’ James kisses Fluttershy then heads back towards the house.

Applejack starts heading back too. She is stopped when her ponytail gets pulled. She turns back to see Fluttershy giving her a furious glare.

‘What were you doing with him?’ Fluttershy snarls.

‘We weren’ doin’ anythin’. We were jus’ talkin’.’

Fluttershy’s eyes narrow. ‘Why is your shirt wet?’

‘Sheesh. ‘Cause he hit me with his board by accident.’

Fluttershy gives Applejack the once-over then releases the other woman’s hair. ‘Good, because New Fluttershy doesn’t like it when someone tries to steal her man.’

Fluttershy marches back to the house, flicking her hair in Applejack’s direction as she goes. Applejack just stares and rubs her sore head.

‘Pinkie and Rarity were right about New Fluttershy. What a bitch.’

Fluttershy and Rarity are getting ready for bed. They are sitting on opposite sides of their shared bed, both brushing their hair out. Fluttershy is humming a happy song to herself. She finishes the song and the brushing then starts getting her side of the bed set.

‘Fluttershy...’ Rarity begins. ‘May I ask you a bold question?’

‘Um...’ Fluttershy stares at the bed for a moment. ‘Okay.’

‘I happened to spy your... encounter with Applejack earlier. While I couldn’t hear what you said, I could tell it was less than civil. I must know, when are you going to tell the others?’

Fluttershy lays down and stares at the wall away from Rarity. She lets out a small whine and pulls the covers over her head.

‘Deary, you’re going to have to tell them sometime.’

‘But we agreed that it was up to me to tell them. I... I am just not ready yet.’

‘It has been a couple weeks now. The longer you wait, the more upset they will be.’

Fluttershy whimpers. ‘He has my back. He won’t tell unless I ask.’

Rarity sighs. ‘Fine. You know I won’t tell. I just want you to know you are risking a lot with your friends the longer you wait.’

Fluttershy lets out a high pitched whine. Rarity finishes her hair and gets out an eye cover. She slides under the sheets and gives a contented sigh.

‘Be a dear and get the lights. Thanks~!’

Fluttershy groans and gets up to turn off the lights.

A persistent rapping is fills Trixie’s villa early in the morning. The Tired and Irritated Trixie makes her way through the house to the front door, stopping only to throw one of her trademark robes overs her star-patterned pajamas. She gets to the door, takes a moment to calm herself and fix her hair, then prepares to give the visitor a shouting to of a lifetime.

Trixie throws the door open. ‘Now see he... LUNA!’

Princess Luna is standing at the door. She is dressed rather plainly giving her position, and she is holding a small backpack in her hands. She smiles at Trixie as she adjusts her glasses.

‘Hi!’ Luna greets. ‘I heard you might have a spare room available.’

Trixie is surprised. ‘Where did you hear that? Are you spying on me?’

Luna laughs and steps in front of a bag with binoculars and listening devices. ‘Aaaanyway! Would you mind if I stay for a bit?’

Trixie sticks her head out of the door and looks around. ‘You don’t have an army battalion hiding in case I say “no,” right?’

Luna sways in place a bit. ‘Well... Tia wouldn’t let me come without guards, but I ordered them to stay back and not interfere. It will just be me.’

Trixie thinks. ‘Hmm. I guess that will have to do.’ She looks Luna over. ‘Besides, you’ll only take up as much space as Twilight Sparkle. Follow me to your room.’

Luna grabs her bags and starts following. She stops to look at herself in one of the many mirrors in the house. ‘Wait. What was that about my space!’

Octavia enjoys the beach. The cool breezes. The warm sun. The delicious beach drinks requiring varying amounts of booze to overpower the various other flavors in the drink. A giant beach umbrella to keep the warm sun’s damaging UV rays off her alabaster skin and to block the cool breezes from upsetting her well-maintained hair. Octavia sighs in contentment and takes a sip of her delicious drink.

Behind Octavia, there is a loud yawn. ‘Mornin’, Octy!’

Octavia groans. She gets up from her beach chair and looks back towards her house. She immediately screams and turns back, covering her eyes and blushing all over. Vinyl Scratch walks up to where Octavia is sitting.

‘This is not a nude beach! Where are your clothes!’ Octavia shouts.

‘I’m wearing underwear,’ Vinyl pouts.

Octavia peeks between her fingers to her guest behind her. She instantly bolts around and points an accusing finger at her friend.

‘Are those my panties!’

Vinyl laughs playfully. ‘May~be!’

Octavia shudders and sits down again. ‘You can keep them.’

Vinyl laughs again, but something catches her attention. ‘Whoops! Looks like we’ll be having a guest. I’ll be back.’

Vinyl rushes back into the house to find a shirt. Octavia groans and looks down the beach. She sees a figure slowly approaching. She groans and takes another drink. She takes a longer drink when she recognizes the approaching person.

‘Hey Jimmy!’ Vinyl shouts from the house as she returns wearing some actual clothing.

James looks up from his mobile. ‘Wha? Hey Vinyl. Hey Octy. You’re here too?’

‘Right. This trip is getting better and better,’ Octavia groans.

Vinyl walks out onto the beach again. ‘Whatcha doing here? We heard you last night, but someone didn’t want to be neighborly.’

‘Forgive me for wishing to retain my sanity,’ Octavia moans. She looks over her new visitor and suppresses a frown when she finds his shirt is not open. ‘Anyway, like Vinyl asked, what are you doing here?’

James holds up his mobile. ‘I found a geocache last night before going to bed. The kids and I are just tracking it down.’

Octavia rolls her eyes. ‘What could possibly be hidden out here?’

James taps a couple buttons. ‘The clue says that it is a pair of round, firm objects.’ He takes a step forward. ‘Your butt!’

Octavia quickly stands up and slaps James as hard as she can. ‘Excuse me!’

James picks his glasses up from the sand and brushes them off. ‘I was just going to ask you to move it. The geocache is under your chair.’

Octavia grumbles and gets her drink again. ‘You could have just said that.’ Or at least noticed it... She pouts.

‘Sorry. We’ll be out of your way soon enough.’

James and Vinyl move the beach chair and umbrella out of the way. Octavia heads back to stand in the shade by her house. Vinyl joins her friend as they watch James sonicing the ground. Suddenly, the ground shakes and a two-meter wide hole instantly forms right where Octavia was sitting. Octavia shrieks at the top of her lungs. Inkie’s head pops out of the hole and looks around. Rei pops out too, gasping for breath.

‘Air! Water!’ Rei gasps. ‘Drink!’ She scampers out of the hole, takes Octavia’s drink and downs it in one gulp. ‘This is pretty go...’

Rei sways then falls face first into the sand. James shakes his head at Octavia.

‘Before noon?’ He asks.

‘My beach...’ Octavia runs over to the hole. ‘What did you do to my beach!’

Inkie tosses a pair of wooden spheres the size of beach balls out of the hole before climbing out.

‘That was all that was down there, boss.’ she reports.

‘My beach...’ Octavia frowns into the hole and a lip start quivers.

‘Ready to fill it in?’ James asks Inkie.

‘No prob,’ Inkie salutes. ‘Stand back a bit until it starts.’

Inkie reaches down and pulls a rope out of the hole. She gives it a sharp tug, and the ground starts shaking again.

‘What now?’ Octavia moans.

‘Oh. You have to check this out,’ James grins.

James quickly spins Octavia around and pushes her into the hole. She screams and starts flailing. She does not fall since there is a source of wind forcing her up as the hole starts filling from below.

Inkie giggles. ‘Fun, isn’t it?’

Inkie leans over the the hole, but she is pushed back up from the wind. Octavia keeps flailing, so James reaches out and catches her arm. She pulls hard and pulls him over the hole as well Octavia grabs James in a tight hug right as gravity takes over, and they fall. They hit the sand with James able to prop himself up with his free hand. The ground stops shaking. Octavia catches her breath as she stares up at the man leaning over her.

‘I wanna do that with Inkie too!’ Rei shouts. She tries crawling forward but passes out in the sand once more.

James pushes up and stands. He offers a hand to help Octavia. She lays for a couple more moments before returning to normal. She bats away the hand and sits up and starts brushing the sand off of her. James brushes himself off as well and offers the hand again. Octavia growls and accepts the offer.

Octavia starts brushing the sand off of her shorts. ‘Was all of that really necessary?’

‘We’ll share the treasure with you,’ James offers.

Octavia pouts in return. ‘You better, but for now, please just remove yourself from my beach until I can calm down.’

James sighs. ‘Okay, but we are just down the beach when you want to come looking for us.’ He starts heading toward the house and pats Inkie on the shoulder. ‘You get the cache. I’ll get Rei.’

James goes over and picks Rei up from where she passed out. Octavia groans and goes back to the house. James and Inkie start walking back down the beach with their respective armfuls.

‘Inkie’s chest is really hairy,’ Rei is heard mumbling.

Octavia heads back into the house to get another drink. Vinyl sits at the bar and grins as her friend practices mixology.

‘So....’ Vinyl’s grin gets wider.

‘What?’ Octavia snaps.

‘I guess the earth moves when you two hook up.’

A splash of alcohol hits Vinyl in the face and covers her shades. Vinyl spins around on her stool and laughs to herself.

‘Shut up,’ Octavia growls. She looks into her empty glass. ‘And now you made me waste expensive booze too.’

Rarity is fretting in front of a mirror as she gets ready to head down to the beach. She is wearing a fancy bikini, but she is holding two others in front of her for comparison. Another guest walks by the room but stops and comes back.

‘Geez, Rarity!’ Rainbow Dash groans. ‘You’re never going to have any fun if you keep worrying about how you look.’

Rarity spins around. ‘Rainbow! You’re somewhat feminine when you need to be! You can help!’

Rainbow Dash cocks her head to the side. ‘Wait. Was that a compliment or an insult?’

‘Never mind who said what. More importantly, does this suit look good on me?’

Rainbow Dash almost rolls her eyes, but she smiles craftily. She enters Rarity’s room and starts looking her friend over. Rarity bites her lip in anticipation of the verdict.

Rainbow Dash looks up. ‘Can you not watch me? You’re making me nervous.’

Rarity sighs. ‘Fine.’

She closes her eyes and waits for Rainbow Dash’s opinion. Rainbow Dash’s evil grin returns. She very carefully unties Rarity’s top. She takes the tops and quietly slips out of the room before running away. Spike walks past, watching Rainbow dash. He peeks into the room, but he stops and stares.

‘Can I look yet?’ Rarity asks while opening an eye.

Rarity sees Spike standing in the doorway staring. She just stares back in shock. Stormy walks past, in the world of his music player. He glances in.

‘Hey, Rarity.’ Stormy greets as he passes.

Rarity snaps to her senses and covers herself. She wraps a towel around herself and runs out of the room.

‘RAINBOW DASH!’

Spike remains frozen at the doorway.

A group has gathered as Inkie and James crack open their treasures. Octavia and Vinyl have come over to claim their share of the prize. Lyra is jumping up from the back of the pack to see the treasure. Inkie cracks the first sphere and starts taking out the contents. She gets out a bottle of liqueur.

‘Mine!’ Octavia snatches the bottle. She cradles it lovingly.

The other roll their eyes at Octavia’s behavior. Inkie removes the wrappings that protected the bottle. They turn out to be three deflated beach balls.

‘Why did they hide those?’ Inkie asks.

‘Heads up!’ Rei shouts.

A newly inflated beach ball bounces off of Stormy’s head.

Stormy groans. ‘Better question: who would give her something she could throw at someone else?’

Another beach ball bounces off of Stormy’s head. Rei giggles and runs away as Stomy returns fire. Rainbow Dash watches the chase and joins in chasing both kids after Twilight passes her the other inflated beach ball. Inkie cracks the other sphere. The first item she takes out is a can of pineapple.

‘Ooo!’ James reaches for the can.

James’ hand lands on the can, but another hand lands right on top of his. She follows it up to look down at Octavia’s expression combining annoyance, pouting and (definitely not) longing. James sighs and surrenders his prize. Octavia smiles and takes her other prize. The last beach ball bounces off her head. Octavia quickly looks up for the culprit and finds Pinkie looking overly innocent. Inkie gets out the last items, a stack of CDs.

‘Well, that is it,’ Inkie states. ‘Just those calypso CDs. Who wants them?’

Everyone looks at Vinyl. She groans.

‘Ugh. I guess I can remix them once I get back to my laptop.’

The group starts dispersing. Octavia looks at her prizes then heads into the house to find some way to combine them. Twilight goes back to her book. Inkie, Lucas, and Spike run off to join Rei and Rainbow Dash while Stormy comes back to relative safety.

‘ALOHA!’ is shouted from down the beach.

Luna and a still-tired Trixie walk up the beach to their friends. Both are dressed for a day of swimming and tanning, though Trixie is wearing her usual cape and hat. Twilight briefly checks out the approaching women then covers herself and curls into ball. James puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. Luna marches up to the deck to greet her friends. Stormy blushes and tries not to look as Trixie steps up to him.

‘Good morning, dear Stormy.’ Trixie coos while giving Stormy a small hug.

Stormy blushes redder than his hair. ‘M-morning, Trixie.’

Trixie smirks. ‘I can tell you’re glad to see me.’

Stormy blushes even deeper. A beach ball comes out of nowhere and hits Trixie in the head, knocking off her wizard hat. She looks around and growls.

‘Sorry, Trixie!’ Rainbow Dash calls as she runs down the beach, jumping over an incoming beach ball.

Another figure runs down the beach from the same direction as Rainbow Dash.

‘LU~~~~~NA~~~~~~~~’ Rei shouts as she runs down the beach, jumps to the deck, runs across a table and tackles Luna in a big hug.

‘Trixie can’t believe she is actually jealous now,’ she grumbles. She grabs Stormy’s hand. ‘Come along. Let’s go somewhere more private.’

Trixie drags the lovestruck Stormy away as Luna frees herself from her affectionate follower.

‘Thank you for the affection, Rei. It pleases us,’ Luna says, patting Rei on the head. She turns to the rest of the guests. ‘It is great to see all of you again.’

‘Ditching your duties for another cruise, princess?’ Twilight shoots.

‘Hmpf! Nothing of the sort, Miss Sparkle.’ Luna tosses her hair over her shoulder and puffs out her chest, showing off the bikini top that matches the star field of her hair. ‘My sister took a short holiday last month. I am just doing the same now that her sunburns have healed enough for her to resume normal duties.’

‘She got a sunburn?’ James snorts loudly as he fails to contain a laugh.

Luna snorts. ‘Anyway, I also made sure that there were duties I could attend to in the city while I am here. I don’t want to be completely unproductive on this trip.’

‘We should totally have a big “welcome Luna” party later!’ Pinkie cheers.

‘That would be fun, Miss Pie.’ Luna nods toward Pinkie. ‘Since I will be attending to business on a couple days, perhaps some of you would enjoy seeing the city with me.’

‘Well, I am really curious as to the shopping in this area,’ Rarity muses. A beach ball bounces off the back of her head followed by a loud cackle. ‘RAINBOW DASH!’

Rarity runs out to the beach and starts chasing her friend.

Luna smiles over at James. ‘James, I have a special offer for you.’ Fluttershy growls and glares. ‘You too, Fluttershy. Since I haven’t yet properly congratulated the two of you yet, may I treat the two of you to a show?’

Fluttershy grabs James’ arm. ‘Oh! A show would be lovely. We haven’t done one in so long.’

James raises his free hand. ‘When you say show...’

Fluttershy squeezes tight and growls. ‘Theater.’

James sighs. ‘Fine.’

‘You’re leaving your handhelds here, too.’ Luna adds.

‘I only did that once! Octy will vouch for me.’

Octavia stumbles out with a drink in her hand. ‘I think that bottle stayed there a little too long.’

Octavia tries to sit down at a table, but she falls right off the deck. Vinyl and Applejack rush to help her.

‘Also, my pineapple has sand in it.’ Octavia calls from the beach.

Trixie leads Stormy down the beach. She holds his hand as they walk. Stormy is trying to look forward since he recently had a growth spurt and can now very easily see down Trixie’s chest.

Trixie sighs. ‘Stormy, have I said how great it is to see you again?’

‘I am pretty sure you have.’

‘Oh Stormy...’ Trixie rests her head on Stormy’s shoulder.

‘Something wrong, Trixie?’

Trixie stops and turns toward Stormy. He stops and looks down to her frowning face. She stares up, tracing the scar on his forehead to avoid eye contact.

‘It is just that...’ Trixie begins.

‘What?’

‘It is just that I would love to take our relationship further, but I am afraid of the societal backlash.’

‘You mean like sex?’

Trixie laughs. ‘No. Not that. I mean, it is odd for a couple with our age difference to be dating. I am nervous to go out to more public locales for dates because people will judge us.’

Stormy smiles. ‘Is that all?’ Trixie opens her mouth to argue. ‘Who cares what everyone else thinks? We’re in love and that is all that really matters to me. If someone is going to judge us for being happy, then screw them. We’re happy.’

Trixie shakes her head. ‘Stormy, the ever practical-minded.’

‘Besides, the Soufflé family has a history of dating older people. My grandmother is ten years younger than my grandfather. My mom’s first love was more than twice her age.’ Stormy looks around nervously. ‘Don’t tell anyone, but I was named after him according to her old diary.’

‘You are so cute when embarrassed.’ Trixie gives Stormy a quick peck. ‘Have you considered what I said last night?’

‘About staying over? I don’t know...’

Trixie gives Stormy a longer kiss. ‘I can make it very worth your while.’

‘Then how can I say “no”?’

Trixie giggles and grabs Stormy around the neck before giving him another kiss.

Pinkie works in the kitchen for the party in the evening. She is the only one in the kitchen and is running a number of stoves and ovens at once. A door opens from the deck.

‘No peeking until everything is ready~!’ Pinkie calls.

‘Just getting a soda,’ James calls back. ‘Luna seems to not get any at the palace.’

A Royal Voice-enhanced belch shakes the windows.

‘The fun has been doubled!’ is shouted from outside.

James shakes his head. ‘You can really tell the family resemblance.’

Pinkie looks at James. ‘I don’t think Celestia ever behaved like that.’

James thinks. ‘Oh. That makes sense too! Good observation.’

Pinkie is confused, but she shakes it off. ‘Anyway! Out. Out. Out! I have top-secret baking to do.’

James scans the room and sniffs the air. He points to an oven. ‘Strawberry cupcakes.’ He points to another oven. ‘Triple layer super fudge cake.’ He points to a stove. ‘Top secret filling for Cherrychangas and less secret filling for Chimicherries.’ He points to another stove. ‘And semi-sweet chocolate for dipping.’ He turns back. ‘Correct?’

Pinkie throws herself on James and gives him a big kiss. Once she drops back to the ground, she stares up at him.

‘Marry me,’ Pinkie says.

‘Well, but technically...’

‘I don’t care. Ours can be real.’

‘But Fluttershy thinks...’

Pinkie pouts. ‘But Pinkie thinks you shouldn’t play into her fantasies anymore.’

‘And who did I spend a week calling “Mahou Shoujo Pinkie” after a marathon session of Nanoha?’

Pinkie hits James over the head with a crescent-shaped wand. ‘That is “Lyrical Pinkie,” got it?’

‘I should have never gotten you that.’

‘Want me to kiss it and make it better?’ Pinkie grins.

‘You’re going to miss and hit my lips if I say yes, right?’

Pinkie grins wider. ‘Only one way to find out!’

James kisses Pinkie on the forehead. ‘You are so cute.’

James takes his drink and heads out. Pinkie sighs and gets back to work.

Vinyl wakes in the middle of the night to use the washroom. On her way back to her room, her sensitive ears hear music coming from downstairs. She follows the music to a full, professional recording studio. Inside, Octavia is playing her cello while in her pajamas, completely unawares of the audience. She finishes her song and looks up to see Vinyl’s grinning face from the control room. Octavia blushes and exits the recording booth and joins Vinyl in the control room.

‘You gonna play me a lullaby?’ Vinyl beams.

‘B-baka,’ Octavia stutters. ‘I was just getting some late night practice.’

Vinyl laughs. ‘Right. Hey, I might not be that big on classical, but I don’t recognize that piece. What is it called?’

Octavia blushes even more. ‘Oh! It was an original I have been working on for a while.’

‘Yeah? What are you calling it?’

‘...’ Octavia mumbles.

‘Speak up.’

‘The Art and Science of Wandering...’

‘Huh?’ Vinyl’s grin somehow grins wider.

Octavia fidgets. She rubs one arm with the other and looks away. Vinyl swings a boom mic over Octavia and turns the output volume to eleven.

‘THE ART AND SCIENCE OF WANDERING!’ comes over the speakers.

Octavia turns bright red all over. Vinyl busts out laughing.

‘Sh-shut up!’ Octavia yells.

Vinyl calms down. ‘You have to be the only one that hasn’t just come out and said it.’

Octavia fidgets more. ‘He-he-he has that pink-haired one who apparently married him. It-it would be weird and wrong.’

Vinyl shrugs. ‘It is what? Seven-to-one? Ten-to-one? Wanna survive as a species right?’

Octavia pushes Vinyl. ‘Shut up! I don’t think about such things!’

Vinyl laughs the leans up and kisses Octavia on the forehead. ‘You’re still such a silly kid.’ She kisses Octavia on the nose. ‘And that is why I love you.’

Vinyl walks away leaving the very embarrassed Octavia to collect her emotions.

‘I’m wearing your underwear again, by the way!’ Vinyl calls back while snapping her panties.

The doors to Trixie’s villa open wide early in the morning. An older, dark-silver-haired woman steps in and looks around. A pair of servants follow her in.

‘Why Trixie would deny any help...’ The woman grumbles. She looks at her servants. ‘Come. Let’s get breakfast started. That better make me look like a good mother.’

The Mysterious and Alluring Amelia leads the servants to the kitchen. She throws the door open and stops in her tracks instantly. Luna is sitting on the counter in her pajamas, eating a bowl of cereal. Both women freeze and stare at each other.

‘Princess Luna!’ Amelia shouts.

‘Uh. Hey.’ Luna greets.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘Uh... Just visiting a friend staying next door.’

‘Is my daughter about?’

‘She should still be in her room. She was up pretty late last night.’

‘Probably just being lazy again.’ Amelia grumbles. ‘My servants will start a breakfast if you are willing to join us.’

‘Sure...’

‘Good. I will return with my daughter shortly.’

‘Wait! Hold on!’ Luna shouts.

Amelia does not hear as she marches away. She heads upstairs and down a hall. She stops in front of a door and pushes it open. She groans at a lump in a bed, but collects herself.

‘Trixie? Little Trixie? Time to get up,’ Amelia coos.

Trixie groans. ‘What?’

Trixie sits up, but she quickly covers herself with her blanket. Amelia’s eyes go wide after her daughter briefly flashes her, but she holds back her yelling.

‘Well. I was not expecting that! Anyway, I have breakfast being made downstairs. Please be dressed by then.’

There is another moan from the bed. A shirtless Stormy sits up and kisses Trixie on the cheek.

‘Morning.’

Amelia’s anger boils over, and she screams. Down the beach, the early-rising Twilight looks up from her breakfast and book at the strange sound.

‘Downstairs! Now!’ Amelia yells. ‘And be dressed!’

Amelia storm out of the room, shouting to herself. Trixie bites her lip and whimpers.

‘She took it better than I expect Rarity will,’ Stormy shrugs.

Amelia has gathered Trixie and Stormy in one of the lounges. The couple is sitting next to each other while Amelia paces in front of them. Luna forced her way in and is sitting off to the side. Trixie has her head down in shame while Stormy has his usual nonplussed aura around him.

‘I can’t believe I caught my own daughter doing that! Let alone doing that with someone that young! You are a disgrace to the family!’

Trixie regains her composure and stands. ‘ME! A disgrace! That is a laugh. Have you looked in the mirror lately?’

‘I am not the one having sex with children!’ Amelia shrieks back.

‘He is more of an adult that you are!’ Trixie screams in retort.

‘I am your mother! You will not speak to me this way!’

‘Some mother you are! I don’t see you for over a year until you decide to pop in during my holiday! You only spoke to me once in the past six months and that was to barely warn me about your stupid brother!’

‘And this is how you repay me? By screwing some little cabana boy?’

‘His name is Stormy, and I love him!’ Trixie screams as loud as she can.

The two women glare at each other. A powerful energy builds between the two of them. Luna looks back and forth between the two arguing women. Stormy raises his hand.

‘May I say something?’

Amelia turns and growls.

‘Right.’ Stormy rolls his eyes. ‘So this whole mess is about some stupid physical act? I think you are overlooking the big picture.’

‘Great. An opinion from some angsty, emo youth. You really know how to pick them.’

‘Shut up.’ Stormy groans. ‘I may not have much experience with them, but I would think a mother would want her child to be happy. So we did a physical act that society frowns on. So I am several years younger than Trixie. I really don’t see what the big deal is.’

‘The big deal is that my idiot daughter committed a crime!’

‘More importantly, she loves me, and I love her. Isn’t that what we should be considering here? In all honesty, I don’t see what the big deal is about sex.’ He turns to Trixie. ‘No offense. I just...’

Trixie comes over and sits on the armrest of Stormy’s chair. ‘Shh. Its okay. I understand.’

‘He has a point.’

Everyone looks over to Luna. She is leaning back in a chair. Her fingers are tented and she looks much older than she had only moments ago. She looks up above her glasses and leans forward.

‘The physical act is truly meaningless in this case; well, in a sense. A thousand years ago, he would be a father by now. Now... Well, legally there was a wrong, but I don’t mind taking some political heat for pardoning a friend if it comes to court. As for the emotional act, I just see two people in love. If you are going to persecute your daughter for being happy, then you’re the real villain of this whole affair for not being able to accept your daughter for who she is.’ Luna sighs and shrugs. ‘And from what I have seen since my return, that sees to be a running theme with all but the youngest generation of your family.’

Amelia frowns and looks away. She sighs and shakes her head.

‘I came out here to get to know my daughter better. All I have done is to alienate her further. I overreacted. I may not like or agree with what I have seen.’ She shudders then sighs. ‘But she is my daughter. And I love her. Whatever makes her happy. I just have to get to know her better.’

‘Mother...’

Trixie gets up and hugs her mom. Amelia smiles and returns the hug.

Luna grins. ‘Good. I am glad we reached a happy agreement.’ She springs up and instantly regains her youthful appearance. ‘Now! I had your staff switch over to making waffles. Waffles are so much better. So yummy.’

Luna hops up and runs out the door. Stormy shrugs and gets up too. Trixie grabs his arm and pulls him over.

‘Mother, I would like you to meet Stormy,’ Trixie says.

‘Can’t we do this after breakfast?’ Stormy moans.

‘Agreed,’ Amelia groans. ‘I will need a lot of coffee to get through this.’

Trixie rolls her eyes. ‘Don’t you mean whiskey?’

‘Don’t start that now.’ Amelia sighs. ‘You sound like your tenth birthday party again.’

The two women glare at each other.

‘I’m going to breakfast.’ Stormy walks out of the room. ‘Join us when you’re done fighting.’

Trixie and Amelia look at each other. They both snort and march out of the room in a huff, getting stuck at the door when they both try leaving at once.

Octavia makes her way to the nearest washroom after getting up. She overslept a little thanks to her late night. She locks the door behind her.

Vinyl passes her friend on her way to find breakfast. She screams from the kitchen then quickly runs back to find her friend. She trips on a rug and faceplants outside the washroom. She picks herself up and starts pounding on the door.

‘Octy! There is someone in the house!’ Vinyl shouts. ‘Save me, Octy!’

After a few moments of silence, there is a flush followed shortly by a sink running. The door opens and a cello bow is shoved into Vinyl’s throat. At the other end of the bow, Octavia seething.

‘Vinyl. What is my number one rule about privacy in my house?’

‘Uh? Not talking to you when you’re in the washroom?’

‘And you just?’

‘Oh!’

‘Good. Now go away until I am refreshed and showered.’

‘But...’

‘Be nice to Silver, and she won’t hurt you... too much.’ Octavia turns and slams the door in Vinyl’s face.

The sounds of a shower being started are heard.

Vinyl stares at the door in shock. ‘Now Octy scared me so much I have to use the room too...’

James yawns and groans when he enters the dining room late in the morning. He looks around the room at everyone still sitting around and chatting.

‘Why is everyone up so bloody early around here?’

‘You’re up now too, boss,’ Lucas replies.

‘Last one, at that,’ Twilight comments from behind her book.

James checks his mobile. ‘Yes. Big loss there. Sunrises, thieves and romantic entanglements.’

Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie all look over at James and sigh. He adjusts his glasses and looks back as his mobile.

‘Anyway! How’s the day so far?’

‘Actually, boss...’ Lucas begins. ‘Think I can trade rooms with someone?’

‘I’ll do it!’ Fluttershy springs up. She blushes. ‘I mean. I am his...’

James taps his mobile. ‘Well, if Stormy is staying with his girlfriend’s family, then you can take his room and Flutters can bunk with me like back home.’

Fluttershy squeals and gets up to move her things.

‘Don’t just dump everything.’ James warns.

Fluttershy pouts then continues out of the room. Rarity sighs and takes a sip of coffee.

‘Oh well. I guess that can’t be stopped... Wait. What was that about Stormy?’

James taps a button to forward the message. ‘Seem’s he is shaking up with Trixie.’ He smirks. ‘Probably in more than one meaning.’

Everyone looks at James questioningly, except Rarity, who swoons in her chair.

‘Oh dear Stormy! Growing up and getting ready to leave poor Rarity. I knew this day would come, but it is too soon. Whatever will become of poor Rarity!’

Everyone groans at Rarity’s melodrama.

‘I’ll never leave you,’ Spike speaks up.

‘My lovely Spiky wiky!’ Rarity gets up and hugs Spike close. My lovely little Spike wiky! He will never leave me!’

Spike goes limp as Rarity’s hug shoves Spike’s face into her chest. Twilight groans at her assistant’s behavior.

Everyone is out of the beach in the mid-afternoon. James is buried in his laptop. Twilight is buried in a book. Fluttershy sips a drink as she sits in the shade behind James. Spike is out in the ocean splashing around. Lyra and Bon Bon are sunbathing. Lyra snores from where she has fallen asleep. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie are burying Rarity in the sand as the other woman looks on and critiques. Down the beach, Applejack, Inkie and Lucas are all playing volleyball against Rei. They are exhausted from trying to keep up with Rei who has not even broken a sweat. Rei grins and waits for Applejack to serve the ball. The ball goes up as does Rei. The young lady spikes the ball right into Lucas’ face. He falls flat on the ground as the ball rolls off to the side.

‘Damn it, Rei!’ Applejack shouts. ‘How many times do Ah have t’ tell ya not t’ do that?’

‘Rei. Play fair,’ James mumbles.

‘What?’ Twilight asks.

Lyra snorts and rolls over, revealing a pristine stomach free of tanning.

Rarity tries getting a view of what her friends are doing. ‘Okay, Rainbow Dash. A little more.... Okay. That will have to do. Pinkie please be more gen... Never mind. Watch the hair! Watch the hair! ... Are we done?’

Pinkie drops one last bucket of sand and flattens it out. ‘All done!’

Rainbow Dash laughs. ‘You looks great.’

Rarity tries to get a view of her body. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash have shaped the sand sculpture to appear like a larger version of Rarity’s body. The friends take in the sculpture.

‘Looks nice,’ Rarity comments. She tries moving. ‘A little snug though.’

‘Don’t worry. You’ll have fun,’ Pinkie prances away.

‘Yeah. Fun.’ Rainbow Dash laughs.

Rainbow Dash plants a sign in the ground by Rarity’s legs. It is facing away from Rarity. She runs off to join her friends. Rarity looks around, trying to see the sign.

‘What does it say? What does it say!’

Spike comes out of the water. He sees the sign and freezes in his tracks.

‘Um. Little help, Spiky Wiky?’

Spike just stares at the sign. There is a loud thud and a volleyball bounces down the beach.

‘Damn it, Rei!’

Applejack jogs over and picks up the volleyball. She stops to look at the sign. She rolls her eyes and goes over to Rarity. Applejack reaches under the sand and pulls Rarity up.

‘Thank you, fair Applejack.’

‘Jus’ don’ hurt her t’ badly.’

Applejack jogs down the beach to her game. Rarity goes over to the sign. She turns bright red with embarrassment and anger.

‘RAINBOW DASH!’

Rarity runs off to hunt down her friend. Spike is left staring at the sign. On it is an arrow pointing between the sculpture’s legs, and it reads ‘Free admission’.

Octavia, Vinyl and Silver Fox are sitting around one of Octavia’s music listening rooms catching up about recent events. Vinyl still looks nervous about the new stranger. Silver gets up and stretches.

‘I have to hit the washroom. Back in a sec.’

Silver walks away. Vinyl quickly gets up and moves next to Octavia.

‘Are you sure it is safe? I mean, she just showed up,’ Vinyl worries.

‘She’s fine. Silver and I go way back.’

‘How did she get in? Aren’t you worried?’

Octavia looks over at Vinyl. ‘She does some work in the area. I let her stay here when she is in town if she needs to beat the heat. Nicer than the Heartstrings next door.’

‘To be fair, they did gold line way more of their house than they should,’ Silver comments as she returns.

‘I know.’ Octavia moans in agreement. ‘Can they get more posh?’

‘They are just asking for someone to pinch it.’

‘Yeah. Like Lyra wouldn’t have your face plastered on every monitor around the world with a complete list of your aliases if you even tried. Not even Vulpe would get out of it.’

Silver sighs. ‘I guess that is true. Their security is so weak too!’

Vinyl stares at Silver. ‘I thought I recognized you. You’re that actress that worked with Octy! Did you do something to your hair?’

Silver runs her fingers through her growing silver-grey hair. ‘I am trying to grow it out for a change. I think it will look nice.’

‘No... I mean the color is...’

Silver glares back. ‘It has always been this color.’

‘But...’

Octavia also glares. ‘It has always been that color,’ both women warn.

Vinyl gets the idea and back down as a cello bow starts coming out from behind Octavia. She rubs her eyes.

‘Must be my shades or something.’

Octavia nods in agreement. ‘Anyway, Silver, what are you doing out here? Big heist?’

Silver moans. ‘Hardly. I heard Luna was on holiday, and I figured her detail would be easier to crack than Celesita’s was. Then I ran into a little snag.’

Octavia laughs. ‘You saw who she is staying with.’

‘As if the Lunamoons weren’t bad enough, I have to get through them as well...’

‘Does she mean James and the others next door?’ Vinyl asks.

Octavia glances over to her friend before turning back to Silver. ‘At least your little girlfriend is here. You can make some time with her.’

Silver smiles and blushes. ‘She is not my girlfriend. She likes that other one with grey hair...’

‘Wait!’ Vinyl jumps up. ‘You were talking about sneaking after the princess! What are you going to do to Luna!’

A cello bow hooks Vinyl’s collar and pulls her down.

‘Silver is just here consulting with me for our next project. Got it?’ Octavia calmly states.

‘But she said...’

‘Got it!’

Vinyl nervously nods and sits back down. Octavia unhooks her bow, stands up and adjusts her hair.

‘Now, who wants a drink? I’m mixing.’

Inkie leads Rei up a small cliff at sunset. Rei is in awe as the two girls walk through the beach grass. Inkie looks back and smiles at her friend. She stops by a large piece of driftwood.

‘This is beautiful,’ Rei says as she tries taking everything in.

Inkie smiles at her friend. ‘Yeah. It is.’

‘How did you find this place?’

‘Bon Bon told me about it while you and your dad were checking Lucas for a concussion.’

‘If he has one, he is so fired.’ Rei channels from her dad for a moment.

Inkie laughs. ‘Right. Come on, want to watch the sunset?’

Inkie sits on the driftwood and taps next to her. Rei hops over and sits next to her friend. After a few moments of silence, Inkie works up the nerve to put an arm across the shoulders of her shorter friend. Rei sighs contently and leans against her. Inkie looks over. She tries to say something but stops. Rei looks back to her friend.

‘Something wrong, Inkie-chan?’

Inkie quickly turns, takes Rei’s head in hands and gives her a passionate kiss. The two girls fall off the driftwood before Inkie breaks the kiss. Inkie lets Rei up and looks like she is about to start crying. Rei stares up at her friend.

‘Inkie-chan...’

‘Please don’t be mad!’ Inkie begs. ‘I love you! I have loved you for a long time now! I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you... I’m sorry...’

‘I love you too, Inkie-chan.’

‘You... You love everyone...’

‘Yeah! I do love all of my close friends, but I love Inkie-chan the most! I can never love anyone more than I love my Inkie-chan!’

‘You mean it...’ Inkie squeaks.

Rei reaches up and pulls Inkie back down. ‘Inkie-chan dai suki.’

Rei pulls Inkie in for another kiss under the setting sun.

James is sitting on top of Lyra’s mansion beside a telescope. He is watching the stars above him as he sips a soda. There is a thump as someone else climbs onto the roof. Luna pulls herself up and crawls over to James. She lays down with her head in his lap and smiles up.

‘How do you like my night?’ Luna asks.

James takes his laptop out of sleep mode and points to the screen. A page of equations is displayed next to a star chart.

‘How do you like my physics?’

Luna pouts. ‘You can at least pretend. Discord always pretended.’

‘Yeah, but he was insane.’

‘James. Really? You using that argument?’

James sips his drink. ‘At this moment, who is crazier: the scientist watching the stars or the woman hitting on Fluttershy’s husband?’

Luna scowls and sits up. ‘I wish she would drop that charade. She is only hurting herself and her friends. It took too long to convince Twilight to share only to have you snatched up by someone pretending to have mental issues.’

‘Be nice to her. She is really shy. She is afraid to assert herself lest her darker side comes forth again.’

Luna thinks. ‘For your sake, I hope it doesn’t. I know Rarity’s selection of late night activities.’ James opens his mouth. ‘And not just from our new house guest, no. If that is what normal Rarity is into, just imagine what New Fluttershy is into.’

‘Thankfully, she is too shy to try anything there either.’

‘She’s getting braver, or have you not noticed waking up on cleaner sheets than you went to bed on?’

James stares at Luna. Luna just smirks back. He turns away and looks to the stars.

‘Just pick one.’

Luna lays back down on James’ lap. She scans the heavens and points.

‘There.’

James looks. ‘Klom? Why did you have to pick Klom?’

Luna leads her housemates across the beach to a party being held to greet Amelia. Stormy follows the princess, but he keeps looking back at the bickering Trixie and Amelia.

‘This is stupid.’ Amelia grumbles. ‘Why should WE have to go over to visit the Heartstrings for a party for ME. If they had any class, they would come to us.’

‘Mother, it is not the Heartstrings staying there. They are my friends.’

‘Ugh. More people from that backwater town. I don’t know why you like spending so much time there.’

Trixie steps up and grabs Stormy’s arm. ‘Yes. It is a real mystery.’

‘You know, the original palace was in that area too,’ Luna states. ‘I probably grew up around there.’

Amelia snorts then goes silent for the rest of the walk. They come within view of Lyra’s mansion. The deck and beach are covered in decorations, thanks to Pinkie. Luna and Trixie wave as they approach. One of the hosts jumps from the deck and runs out to greet the guests.

‘LU~~NA~~! TRIXIE~~~!’ Rei shouts as she quickly makes it down and leaps into Luna’s arms.

‘Always a pleasure, little one,’ Luna greets.

‘Good to see you too, Rei,’ Trixie smiles as she continues up the beach.

Rei looks behind Luna and sees Amelia.

‘Whoa. Trixie got rea~~lly o~~ld.’ Rei stares at the older woman.

‘Excuse me!’ Trixie and Amelia shout.

Luna drags the other women towards the house, but Rei stops Stormy. She looks him up and down very carefully.

‘Uh... Can I help you?’ Stormy asks.

Rei finishes her examination and stares at Stormy’s face. Her eyes go wide with realization. ‘You had..!’

Stormy clasps a hand over Rei’s mouth. ‘Don’t say it. Don’t tell anyone. Okay?’

Rei nods. Stormy sighs and lets go of Rei’s mouth. She takes a deep breath.

‘What is it like? I mean, I know it is different for boys and girls, and I sort of know what is like for...’

Stormy clasps Rei’s mouth shut again. ‘Yep. A lot worse than Trixie’s mom. Like I thought.’

On the deck, Trixie is introducing her mother to her friends. So far, Rarity is the only one that has been approved. The next one down the line is Twilight.

‘And this is...’ Trixie begins.

‘Twilight Sparkle. It is pleasure to see you again,’ Amelia greets.

‘Good to see you too, Amelia,’ Twilight replies.

‘You...’ Trixie’s eye twitches. ‘...know each other?’

‘Amelia is a friend of my mother. She used to visit all of the time,’ Twilight explains.

‘Yes, those were good times,’ Amelia reminisces. ‘I remember coming over with my child and... she would torment the hell out another young girl. She got so many spankings.’

Trixie glares. ‘Forgive my mother. She tends to exaggerate.’

Twilight thinks. ‘I don’t really remember playing with many kids growing up other than my brother and Cadence.’

Amelia pats Twilight on the shoulder. ‘You’re such a good kid. Why couldn...’

‘Because I had a very demanding mother who loved to torment her children,’ Trixie snaps.

Trixie and Amelia exchange glares. Twilight takes a step back. James steps forward.

‘Sup? I’m The Wandering Physicist.’

Amelia looks over. ‘That is a stupid name. How much do you want for it? I can use it in a show.’

‘I’ll give it to you free if you start being a caring mother to Trixie.’

Amelia thinks. ‘That is too steep a price. Keep it, you silly man.’

James looks at Trixie and shrugs as he walks away. ‘I tried.’

‘James!’ Luna calls. ‘Don’t go too far! Remember your date with Fluttershy tonight.’

‘I know,’ James groans. ‘Where do you think she is?’

James heads back into the house as Luna sighs. She turns to Trixie.

‘I should be heading off to get ready too. I am their chaperone, after all.’

Luna starts walking down the beach as two figures approach from the opposite direction.

‘Wait! That’s her!’ Silver shouts.

Silver starts running to catch Luna, but she is tackled to the sand. Rei gives Silver a big hug and sniffs her hair deeply.

‘You should dye your hair more often. I love the smells of fresh flowers.’

The statement gets a groan from Silver as she watches her chance to catch the princess walk away, and it gets Inkie to mess with and sniff her hair.

‘Sorry we’re late!’ Vinyl greets. ‘Octy was tapped for a big show tonight, and we had to see her off.’

Amelia sighs. ‘Great, more of my daughter’s uncivilized friends.’

Silver forces herself free and takes a last look at Rei. ‘I, madam, am not uncivilized. I am just defensive of my personal space.’

‘You’re!’ Amelia gasps.

‘Indeed~’ Silver sings.

‘No. You can’t be. Your hair is all wrong.’

‘I’m growing it out!’ Silver snaps.

Rei sits in the sand. ‘I like you better when you leave your hair its natural color.’

‘R-really?’ Silver stutters. ‘Never mind. You are but one fan. I am sure my audience will appreciate my beauty no matter what.’

‘Yeah. It is not like Rei has a thing for girls with grey hair or anything.’

Inkie shoots Lucas a really hurt look. He avoids it by turning to the hateful glare he earned from Trixie when they were trapped in the illusion together. She is twirling a strand of silver hair as she stares. Lucas just groans and finds a place to make himself unnoticed.

Amelia looks around and sighs. ‘Can we get this party over with?’

Pinkie snaps a party hat on Amelia’s head and blows a noise maker. The older woman cringes.

‘At least it wasn’t a vuvuzela...’

‘Oh! I have one of those too!’

Pinkie gets out a vuvuzela and gives it a big blow, letting the noise ring out across the beach. All of the party patrons cover their ears. Somewhere in the city, Octavia’s soul dies a little.

James and Fluttershy are following an usher to their private box at the theater. James is in a full tuxedo, and Fluttershy even got him to comb his hair. Fluttershy is wearing her hair up and a tight, revealing dress covered in jewels, obviously a Rarity design. She is drawing a lot of stares, but she is happy showing off for the night. The usher pulls back a curtain to reveal the box overlooking the stage. Once the couple is settled, the usher leaves them alone. James sighs and tries finding which pocket hides his mobile.

‘I thought I told you to leave that off?’ Fluttershy huffs.

‘I will. I just want to get some shots of the theater.’ James looks over and smiles. ‘And a few more of you.’

Fluttershy blushes. ‘James... At this rate, you will have more pictures of me tonight than in my whole fashion career.’

‘Do you have any of those photos still?’

‘Yes. In a box. Guarded by Angel Bunny.’

‘So... No pictures? Dang.’

Fluttershy giggles. James find his mobile, but his 3DS drops out of his pocket as well. Fluttershy’s hand is the first to grab it.

‘What is this?’ Fluttershy glares.

‘Well, uh...’

Fluttershy locks The Stare at full power. ‘You are not going to play a game during the show, got it?’

‘But it is so boring!’ James moans. ‘And I have to catch them all again.’

Fluttershy backs down and scowls as she comes up with a new tactic. She gets a sly smile and leans in close.

‘How about this...’ Fluttershy smirks. ‘You don’t play any games or use your mobile or fall asleep once, and I’ll treat you to something very special when we get back to our room.’ She leans in, putting a hand on his leg, and kisses him. ‘I also might almost sorta maybe kinda be probably ready, too.’

James gives a small, hopeful whine.

‘I take that as agreement.’

Fluttershy kisses James again and sits back in her seat.

Fluttershy and Luna are talking about the show on their ride back from the city. Luna is also in a fancy dress, but it is more conservative, given her position.

‘It was just a lovely show. I have a wonderful time.’ Fluttershy says.

‘I am glad you liked it.’ Luna smiles. ‘I was hoping to get a chance to see it outside of the capital. I needed a change of players.’

‘Thank you ever so much for treating us.’

‘It was my pleasure. I was surprised to see James actually watching for once.’

‘Well, we had a little deal...’ Fluttershy looks over at a sleeping James. ‘But I guess he is less than enthusiastic on collecting.’

‘That’s too bad,’ Luna comforts. For you. Ha!

Back at Lyra’s mansion, Fluttershy is in Rarity’s room pacing. Rarity combs her hair to get ready for bed.

‘I can’t believe it. He fell asleep on the ride home. It is just so...’ Fluttershy stops and shakes with anger.

‘You should have expected that, darling,’ Rarity replies. ‘You know how easily he get bored at high culture events. Remember that I had to pay out ten bounties to my models for every time I had them kick him during my fashion show last year.’

‘I was almost sorta maybe kinda probably ready, too...’ Fluttershy pouts.

‘And that is a problem how?’ Rarity asks.

‘What do you mean?’

‘He is a man, darling. It is not like he is going to complain if you start before him. Just as long as the job gets done.’ Rarity sighs. ‘Although the good ones usually try to wait for you too...’

Fluttershy blushes bright red. ‘Are you saying...’

‘Don’t tell me the thought hasn’t crossed your mind.’ Fluttershy looks away, and Rarity grins. ‘Well, well, well. Our little Fluttershy.’ She laughs. ‘Anyway. You either go for it or you don’t. You just have to be woman enough to do what the man cannot.’ She settles into her bed. ‘Be a dear and get the lights. Thanks~!’

Fluttershy stands and thinks for a moment before walking out of the room and turning off the lights.

Fluttershy is back in her room. James is sleeping on their bed, where he ended up after getting back from the theater. Fluttershy watches James nervously. She closes her eyes and thinks. After a moment, she clenches her fists and nods. She takes a few deep breaths and unbuttons the top couple buttons on her pajamas. She turns off the lights and drops her pajama bottom before climbing under the covers. She climbs over James and stares into his sleeping face. She takes a few deep breath before kissing James. Getting no reaction, she changes tack and reaches a hand down his body very slowly while trying another kiss. Her movement stops sharply and her eyes go wide.

‘Oh. My,’ Fluttershy gasps.

‘Wha?’ James moans as he wakes up.

Fluttershy blushes bright red.

‘Fluttershy? Is your hand...’

Fluttershy locks another big kiss on James. When she breaks the kiss, she smiles. ‘I hope you are almost sorta maybe kinda probably ready now, too.’

The next morning, Rarity yawns in an unladylike fashion and stretches as she makes her way to the kitchen. She encounters Fluttershy heading the other direction with a large grin on her face.

‘Well, well, well,’ Rarity grins. ‘Looks like someone is in a good mood this morning. You are positively glowing.’

Fluttershy giggles. ‘I had a fun time last night.’

‘Oh? Was it... nice?’

Fluttershy blushes and leans in to her friend. ‘Actually, it was great.’

The women head off to gossip. Inside the kitchen, James looks miserable and just stares at a cup of coffee. Rei calmly walks in and starts digging through the cupboards. She stops when she notices something amiss. Her father is up before her! Rei quickly rushes to a window.

‘Aw! No fire and brimstone falling from the sky,’ Rei pouts. ‘Worst apocalypse ever.’

‘I just had a long night. Don’t look too much into it.’

‘Doing what?’

Rei looks at her father. He yawns and takes a sip from his coffee. Rei gasps.

‘Oh my Luna! You and Fluttershy f...’

James clasps Rei’s mouth shut. ‘Don’t talk like that, or I’ll arrange more lessons with Rarity when we get back.’

‘But you and Fluttershy had sex, right!’

‘How come you are the only person I know that is obsessed with that?’

Rei blushes. ‘I am just curious. That is all. I mean, I am old enough to...’

James grimaces. ‘As long as I am alive, you will never be old enough.’

Rei does some quick math. Given his current age, the age rate of his race, how many regenerations he has left.... OH NO! Rei-chan will never have sex at this rate!

Good. James thinks as he has more coffee.

James looks over at Rei. She looks like she is about to cry. Like it or not, she is just too immature to handle it yet. There has to be another... James gets an evil grin.

‘Fine, you want to hear about it. I can arrange a time where you can ask all about it.’

‘Really?’

‘Yep. Every question. I’ll ask Lyra for a private study this afternoon. You bring something with your questions, and I will make sure all of them and more are answered for you.’

‘Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!’ Rei hugs her dad and kisses him on the cheek. ‘You’re the best daddy ever!’

Rei runs away to tell her friends.

‘Oh, we’ll see about that’ James laughs.

Stormy plays a handheld device in a lounge. Amelia walks into the room and looks around.

‘Mr Stormy. Have you seen my daughter?’

‘Oh. She and your servants went shopping. She wanted to get something special for dinner.’

‘Damn. I wanted to thank her for those lovely scones we had at breakfast.’

‘Check the flank lately?’ Stormy pats his right side. ‘All me.’

‘Fine, then you have my praise.’

‘Whatevs.’

Amelia goes over and sits by Stormy.

‘Is everything okay?’

Stormy closes his game. ‘Why do you think I am upset?’

‘You just seem...’

‘In the past fifteen years of my life, I have lost my mother then was psychologically tormented by a person pretending to be my father who then sliced my forehead open. I have nothing to be bitter about at all.’

‘Stormy... You really are more adult than you appear.’

‘That’s what Trixie said, too.’

Amelia’s eye twitches. ‘I thought I said not to mention that again.’

‘She and I have been sharing a bed regardless of what goes on in it. Also, does she get the snoring from you or her father?’

‘With a sass mouth like that, it is no surprise she likes you. You were made for each other.’

Stormy opens his game again. ‘Why do you two hate each other so much?’

Amelia cringes. ‘I wouldn’t say we hate each other. We just don’t get along well.’

‘Did you kill her cat or something?’

Amelia leans back and sighs. ‘Something much worse: I raised her. I did everything I thought was right except be there for her when she needed me most. Everything was handled by servants.’

‘Basically... you weren’t there until you called her about her uncle.’

‘Yes... After talking with my friends, I really hoped to mend fences. It seems all I am good at is business.’

‘You can be so melodramatic, mother.’

Amelia looks up to see Trixie standing at the doorway. Trixie sighs and shrugs. She comes over and sits on Stormy’s lap, causing him to adjust how he plays.

‘As bad an example as you were as a parent, you did teach me to be self-sufficient and confident. I mean, I am great and powerful after all.’ Trixie leans up and kisses Stormy who half-heartedly kisses back as he focuses on his game. ‘Though I am willing to share that title with my adorable Stormy.’

‘Please stop talking bout that,’ Amelia moans.

‘Please stop talking bout that,’ Inkie moans.

‘But it is going to be so fun and informative!’ Rei cheers. ‘I thought you liked informative things.’

Inkie blushes bright red. ‘I do. I am just not ready to learn about that stuff.’

‘But you are older than I am.’ Rei protests. ‘You should be more ready than me, and I am!’

‘I-I just need more time to mature.’

Inkie gives a loud shriek as Rei grabs her chest. Rei looks down as she grabs her chest as well.

‘No. You seem more mature than me... unfortunately...’

Inkie shakes her head and removes her friend’s hand. ‘If that is what you really think, then you will be in for a bit of a shock. Have fun with your talk.’

Rei shrugs then heads off to find her father. She finds James leaning against a desk in a secluded study. Rei beams and finds a place to sit.

‘Right on time,’ James greets.

‘So what’s it like?’ Rei blurts out.

‘Patience. Do you have your list of questions?’

Rei gets out a notebook. James looks through it and flips through several pages. He nods and sets it on the desk.

‘Good. I’ll leave you to it.’

James starts walking out of the room.

‘Wait. Where are you going?’ Rei asks. ‘I thought we were going to talk.’

‘Oh. I said you were going to get all of your questions answered, but I never said I would be the one answering them.’

‘Then who?’

The chair swivels at the desk. Rarity tents her fingers and grins evilly at her new old student.

‘This is going to be fun,’ Rarity laughs.

‘Now, play nice,’ James says. ‘I’ll be back in a while. Octy had something she wanted to share with me. Peace!’

James leaves the room. The sound of a sonic screwdriver is heard. Rei turns back to Rarity and whines.

‘Oh, don’t be that way. Come close. I am prepared to talk with you about anything.’ Rarity gets out her laptop. ‘Now, I brought a few videos from my private collection... just in case I got bored of course. Let’s find a good one!’

Rei whines and moves to watch the video Rarity has opened.

Rarity points to the screen. ‘Now, you see what I am about to do here is...’

Octavia is playing her ‘The Art and Science of Wandering’ in the recording booth as James watches from the control room. He awed by the performance. Octavia finishes her song and takes a bow. James claps, causing Octavia blush and fumble her bow.

‘Thank you. I am glad you liked that,’ Octavia mumbles.

‘That was great,’ James cheers. ‘You are quite the beautiful song writer.’

‘Was that adjective for me or my song writing..?’ Octavia whispers.

‘What was that?’

‘Nothing. How did you know it was an original?’

‘Not many pure cello compositions out there. What did you write it for?’

‘...’ Octavia mumbles.

James rolls his eyes and maxes out all of the microphones with his sonic. ‘Once more with feeling.’

Octavia takes a deep breath and shouts. ‘I WROTE IT FOR YOU!’

A speaker blows out behind James. Out on the beach, a sunbathing Vinyl looks back at the house and smirks. As James’ hearing returns, Octavia comes out of the booth. She looks down and holds her left arm with her right.

‘I’m sorry,’ Octavia mumbles.

‘Down the hall to the left,’ James replies.

‘Baka...’

James walks over and gives Octavia a hug. ‘Thank you for the very sweet song.’

‘It was nothing...’

‘It was your way of saying...’

‘No it wasn’t...’

James shakes his head. ‘You’re so much like your mother. Acting like a fool for the guy you like.’

‘My mother would...’

‘When she met your father, she walked right into the orchestra pit without looking. When your he asked her out the first time, she left her violin at the theater when she ran home to get ready for her date.’

‘She would never part with her violin! It was given to her by a dear friend!’ Octavia shouts. ‘And how do you know about that anyway? You never met her.’

‘Her violin is named Fragola. After her friend.’

Octavia’s eyes go wide. She smiles. ‘Baka.’

Octavia jumps and pulls herself up to kiss James. She smiles as she drops back down.

‘You are good for a first kiss.’

‘Does that mean you’ll stop sneaking into my house and doing that?’

Octavia blushes. ‘You knew?’

‘You are the only person who knows the outside of my house better than Lyra, and that is really saying something.’

‘Guess I am the baka this time.’

James kisses Octavia on the forehead. ‘And a very cute one at that.’

‘Ba...’

James starts leaving the room. ‘Too bad you’re the same age as my daughter.’

Octavia’s eye twitches. ‘BAKA!’

Octavia turns and throws a cello bow straight through the door. A scream is heard.

‘Great shot! … Now can you help me walk again?’

Rei sits on the deck of Lyra’s mansion. She is staring over the ocean. Inkie and Lucas are looking at their friend.

‘What happened to her?’ Lucas asks.

Inkie blushes. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Whatcha all lookin’ at?’ Applejack asks as she walks out.

‘We lost Rei,’ Lucas replies.

Applejack puts her hat on Rei and waves her hand in front of the girl’s face.

‘Heh, heh. That’s purdy neat. Ah gotta know how t’ do that in a pinch.’

Inkie turns bright red and squeaks, ‘You don’t want to know. Trust me.’

Later in the evening, Pinkie is throwing one last party for the last night before they head home. All the guests from the three houses are celebrating, except Rei who is still staring into the sea. Above the party, Lyra and Bon Bon are watching their friends.

‘It was great having them here, wasn’t it?’ Bon Bon says.

‘Very much so. So many bikinis,’ Lyra grins.

‘Lyra!’

‘You started it.’

‘Right... Still...’

Lyra pours the pair a drink and sits with Bon Bon overlooking the beach. Bon Bon takes the drink and sighs.

‘Sort of makes me think, what if they were ours.’

‘So... You’re saying we should learn mind control?’

‘No! I mean, what if we had kids of our own?’

‘Adopt or otherwise?’

Bon Bon sighs. ‘I know adoption is always a viable option, but sometimes... I mean, the science is advanced enough.’

Lyra smiles at her wife. ‘We can always talk about it more when we get home. Let’s just have some fun for now.’

Bon Bon smiles back. ‘Okay.’ She thinks for a moment. ‘If we were to try... that way, who should we consider as a father?’

Lyra looks down at the beach. ‘I might have someone in mind.’

‘You really like him, don’t you? Even though he is a him. Why is that?’

Lyra sits back and sighs. She laughs. ‘It goes back twenty-three years six months and ten days. Rounded up.’

Bon Bon does the math in her head. ‘That would have been weeks after you were born!’

Lyra smiles and nods. ‘Bon Bon, let me tell you a story about my first babysitters...’

Early in the morning, Lyra walks down the hall outside the bedrooms, banging a pot with a spoon.

‘All right everyone! Plane leaves in a few hours! You don’t have to go home, but ya can’t stay here!’ She leans out a window at the end of the hall. ‘Got that, kid!’

Rei looks up and waves. Rainbow Dash comes out of a washroom messing with her hair. She grumbles to herself while she dries it. Rarity walks up and looks at her friend quizzically.

‘Rainbow Dash, are you okay?’

‘Rarity? Right. I wanted to get all cleaned up before the flight, but I just can’t seem to get all of the sand out of my hair.’

‘Is that all? Here, let me help.’

Rarity reaches for Rainbow Dash’s hair, but the other woman backs off.

‘You’re not... going to get back at me for all of the pranks?’

Rarity laughs. ‘Rainbow Dash. You know me better than that. I am a lady. A lady would never stoop to such a petty act.’

‘Okay...’

‘Good!’ Rarity pulls Rainbow Dash into the washroom. ‘Just relax and leave everything to Lady Rarity.’

A door opens to one of the bedrooms. James sticks his head out and looks around, but he is missing his glasses. He checks the hall again and steps out. Twilight steps out a moment later while adjusting her hair. She is wearing James’ glasses.

‘Looks like we’re clear.’ James says.

James leans in and quickly kisses Twilight. He starts leaving, but Twilight catches him.

‘Glasses.’

Twilight switches the glasses from her face to his. They kiss again before running off to their rooms to finish packing.

Trixie and Stormy are packing in their room. Amelia is standing outside watching.

‘Are you really sure you have to leave?’ Amelia asks.

‘I came to see Stormy and my friends. I knew I had only a limited time, so I arranged for my show schedule to restart soon,’ Trixie replies

Amelia sighs. ‘That is a shame. Right when I was starting to finally figure my daughter out.’

‘What is there to figure out?’ Stormy says. ‘Smart, pretty, kind, great and powerful.’

Trixie hugs Stormy. ‘The sweetest.’

‘Yes, you are.’

‘Ugh. You two are disgustingly mushy.’ Amelia smiles. ‘Just like your father and I at your age.’

‘So... you’re saying we’re not going to last?’ Trixie says.

‘Your father and I are as happy as ever!’

Trixie laughs. ‘I’ll be in touch, mother. As long as Stormy dear doesn’t keep me too tied up.’

‘I know where Rarity keeps the ropes.’

‘Ooo! Kinky.’

Amelia groans and covers her face. ‘I pray to Luna that they will stop teasing me about that.’

‘Why should they? It is funny,’ Luna comments as she walks past the room with her pack.

Amelia groans again.

Rainbow Dash groans and stretches. She is in her room with her packed bag next to her.

‘Musta dozed off with Rarity. Well, let’s get going!’

Rainbow Dash jumps up and grabs her bag. She rushes downstairs to meet with the others. In the foyer, Applejack, Inkie, Lucas, Rei and Spike are waiting. They all stop chatting and stare at Rainbow Dash.

‘Sup!’

Everyone just stares.

‘So... We headin’ out soon or what?’

Everyone nods.

‘What are y’all starin’ at!’

James walks by and sets down his bag. ‘Hey, Scootaloo.’

Rainbow Dash freezes. She pulls down her bangs and they are deep purple. She nervously pulls down the right side of her shorts and finds that her butt cheek is bare. She screams and runs away.

‘Rarity!’

All of Rainbow Dash’s friends start busting out laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In her room, Rarity is sitting on her bed. She has her hands in the air and she is cackling the evilest cackle known to mankind. The laughter rings out around the room.

Silver sits on the beach-side porch of Octavia’s house. She is moaning to herself. She did not get much time with Rei. She did not get to sneak up on Luna. She hears someone approaching her from behind. Silver spins around and flashes a dagger. Her shoulder is tapped from behind.

‘Looking for me?’ Luna asks.

‘Princess Luna!’ Silver drops her dagger in surprise.

‘I understand you are trying to find me.’ Luna adjusts her glasses.

‘I was. I mean. I wanted...’

Luna holds up a celebrity magazine. ‘Can I get your autograph? Tia will be so jealous, Silver Fox.’

Silver blushes and looks away. Luna smirks.

‘Which one of us do you think hired you to test palace security?’

‘Right. I forgot.’

‘Anyway, is Octavia about? I wish to rent a room from her.’

‘What?! Why?’

‘I do not wish to end my holiday.’ Luna finds and chair and sits. ‘I am having too much of a good time, and I understand that Octavia was planning on staying a while longer.’

‘It would be nice having some additional security,’ Octavia comments as she steps out of the house. ‘I hear there is a master criminal in the area.’

‘Indeed,’ Luna nods. ‘Just don’t tell my guards I switched houses for a few days. Let’s freak them out.’

The three women giggle at the joke. Vinyl walks out to see what is going on.

‘What are you.. Ah! It is the pr...’

A cello bow hooks Vinyl’s collar and pulls her down. She is faced with three very upset glares once she is at the same level.

‘Don’t tell anyone I am here.’ Luna hisses.

‘It is a matter of utmost security.’ Silver growls.

‘...and when you bring me my drink, bring some snacks too,’ Octavia says. All of the other women look over. ‘What? Do you want drinks too?’

Everyone is trying to relax on the plane ride back home. James leans against a closed window and sleeping. Fluttershy is laying on him and resting too. Lucas is trying to ignore the resting couple next to him. Stormy is deep in his music player. Rainbow Dash is trying to read her Daring Do book in an attempt to ignore Rarity’s apologies. Rei, Inkie, Spike, Lyra and Bon Bon are playing a game together. Twilight looks up from her book and sighs in James’ direction.

‘Don’ beat yerself up,’ Applejack reassures. ‘We all still like him.’

‘Yeah. It’s just hard getting jealous some times.’

‘Ah hear ya.’ She pauses. ‘Hope ya changed the sheets afterward.’

Twilight blushes and hides under her book. ‘You knew?’

‘It don’ take no fancy mathematics t’ tell when the two of ya were in the house alone t’gether.’

‘I’m sorry. I know it is going around Fluttershy, but...’

‘Its no biggie,’ Pinkie says as she leans over the seats. ‘He is good stock after all. Not to mention the ten-to-one ratio!’

Applejack and Twilight stare at the smiling Pinkie.

‘What do y’all mean by that?’ Applejack asks.

‘Did you read Inkie’s report she tried hiding from me but left under her bed when she moved out?’ Twilight adds.

‘Nope! It is because we... Oh no. You are not going to trick Pinkie Pie that easily.’

Pinkie looks proud of herself, but the other two women glare.

‘Ah’d jus’ like t’ try datin’ him once,’ Applejack sighs.

‘At least this explains why he is always tired.’ Twilight adds.

‘Him do good Snu-Snu,’ Pinkie nods.

The three join in a collective sigh.

James moans and stretches his arms as he sits up in bed. He checks his mobile and is happy to be up past noon as usual. He slides out of bed and heads out to get ready for the day. The rest of the residence is empty. Rei must have been running late again since her shoes are left piled by her slippers at the entrance. Normally, Fluttershy would have picked them up but not if Rei overslept. He laughs and heads to the washroom to clean up.

After brushing his hair and getting a change of clothes, James heads down to the main floor of The Power Block. The shop is lightly populated, and Lucas is relaxing at the counter next to an interesting guest.

Lyra is getting a lot of stares from how she is sitting on the counter. Or it could be the cut of dress she is wearing as she kicks her legs over the counter. As soon as James reaches the main floor, Lyra lights up, sets down her lyre and waves him over.

‘Hey James!’ Lyra cheers. ‘How’s it going?’

‘Shouldn’t you be in class right now?’ James asks.

Lyra checks a watch. ‘I am still on lunch break. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for coming out with us last week. You were a real joy to have around.’

‘It was great of you to have us. I am sure we all had a great time. Right, Lucas?’

Lucas looks over and scowls. ‘I was the only one that didn’t get lucky.’

Lyra checks a notebook. ‘Technically that is true if I don’t count what happened in the sauna.’

James looks at Lucas and shakes his head.

Lyra’s mobile buzzes. She checks it and sighs. ‘Well, I have to “get back to work” or else I am “fired”. Pfft. Some people.’

Lyra hops off the counter. She stops to kiss James on the cheek. ‘By the way, I am totally straight for you.’

Twilight stares at the stack of papers levitating before her. She has a massive eye twitch. Before her, The Wandering Author and Lyra are smiling their widest grins.

‘Did you like it?’ The Wandering Playwright asks.

Twilight levitates the story to Spike. ‘Spike. Take care of this.’

‘Will do!’ Spike salutes.

The baby dragon breathes a burst of flames and the story disappears in smoke.

‘So... Is that a yes?’ Lyra asks.

Twilight stares at Lyra in disbelief. She cannot believe they were both unicorns.

‘You wrote human fan fiction starring me and my friends,’ Twilight growls.

‘And I helped!’ The Wandering Screenwriter beams.

Twilight glares. ‘I hate you so much right now.’

Spike starts hiccuping then burps up a scroll.

‘A letter from Celestia? Now?’ Twilight is confused.

Spike unrolls the scroll. ‘Dear Twilight Sparkle. Thank you for the lovely story. I cannot wait to read it. I’ll be sure to share it with Luna too. Signed, Princess Celestia.’

‘You sent it to the princess!’

‘I thought that was what you wanted.’ Spike defends.

Twilight closes her eyes and tries to contain the anger growing inside her.

‘Do you think the princess will like it?’ Lyra asks.

Twilight bursts into flames and teleports away. The loudest yell of frustration is heard across all of Equestria. Twilight reappears. Her mane and tail is all singed. She seethes with anger. The two ponies and dragon stare at Twilight in shock.

‘One of you got room at your place?’ Spike asks.

‘Rei would love a roommate for a night or two,’ The Terrified Physicist replies.

The Galloping Physicist, Lyra and Spike all run from the library. Twilight takes a few more deep breaths before collapsing on the ground. She giggles a bit.

‘Me and James... In secret too...’ She giggles again. She smiles and curls into a ball. ‘I love him so much.’

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Lyra shares her human fan fiction with TWP and the cast.

Story Event: SO! Humanized! Yeah! ... It is really fun to write. To bad none of this really happened...

Two and a Half Ponies

Main Characters: Twilight, Pinkie, Rei
Cameos: TWP, The Doctor (10, 11), River Song, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, CMC, Celestia, Luna, Stormy, Inkie, Image, Lucas
Original Write Date: 03/28/2012

Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie stand on either side of Rei as they watch The Wandering Physicist pack some bags into his TARDIS. The three ladies all mope as their guy gets ready to leave. The Wandering Physicist puts one last bag in the TARDIS then turns to the group.

‘Now. Shall we go over the rules one more time?’

Rei and Pinkie moan, but Twilight nods her head enthusiastically.

‘Okay. With the shopping we did beforehand, Rei should have enough food while I am gone. If she runs out, I have left some money in my room. Just enough to feed her a year’s worth of foie gras, but knowing the way she eats...’

Rei beams at the comment.

‘Lucas will handle all of the downstairs security during the day and at closing. The neighbors have been notified to say on watch as well. I just need you to make sure Rei is eating well, doing her homework and not playing too many video games. If Stormy and Inkie come over, make sure they do their work as well. If anything breaks or Rei gets in trouble, just leave it for when I get back, and I will take care of it.’

Pinkie salutes. ‘Got it, boss!’

‘Also, no parties.’

Twilight salutes. ‘Got it, boss!’

The Wandering Physicist looks over his girls. ‘I should only be a week. I’ll be back before you know it. I hope you all can get along.’

Pinkie grabs The Wandering Physicist around the neck and sobs. ‘Don’t leave us! We will never survive without you!’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. ‘Hooves itchy, back chilly and tail spiny.’

Pinkie lets go and smiles. ‘You’re right. I am probably worrying for no good reason.’

Pinkie kisses The Wandering Physicist before hopping back next to Rei. Twilight rolls her eyes before giving her coltfriend a hug.

‘I hope you have fun at your physics conference.’

‘You kidding? I am the keynote! Finally somepony appreciates my work studying the neutrino decay from type-II supernovae near quark stars.’

Twilight sighs and shakes her head. ‘And you say the terms I use for my magic sound made-up.’

The Wandering Physicist laughs. Twilight kisses her coltfriend and steps back. The Wandering Physicist looks over at Rei. The filly opens her mouth.

‘No, I am not going to let you find Trixie so you can stay with her.’ The Wandering Physicist interrupts. ‘And no, I am not going to take you out of school for a week just so you can visit Luna.’

Rei sits in a huff, crosses her forelegs and looks away. The Wandering Physicist kisses his daughter on her forehead and heads to his TARDIS.

‘See you in a week!’

The Wandering Physicist closes the doors and the time machine starts phasing away, leaving only the closet where it regularly hides. The Wandering Physicist manipulates the controls of his time machine, and it settles to a stop. He pops his head out and takes in his surroundings. He smiles when he notices his TARDIS is disguised as a video game cabinet. He steps out to take in his surroundings.

Aliens of all sorts are filing past, but none seem to pay any attention to the wandering pony. The Wandering Physicist smiles as he sees a familiar face. He raises a hoof and waves.

‘Yo! Theta!’

Another pony spins around, nearly dropping his fez. He waves and weaves his way through the crowds to his friend.

‘James! Fantastic to see you here,’ The Doctor greets, kissing off to the sides of his friend’s face then adjusting his bow tie.

‘Sweet Apple Acres?’

‘If what I am thinking hasn’t happened yet, wait until Apple Bloom is out of the house to avoid any awkward anatomy questions.’

The Wandering Physicist turns bright red. ‘What?’

The Doctor grimaces. ‘Right. You are very... linear... Uh... Nothing!’

The Doctor adopts a large grin in an attempt to look innocent. The Wandering Physicist facehoofs and shakes his head.

‘You and your spoilers. Nice hat, by the way.’

The Doctor dances slightly and adjusts the fez a bit. ‘Thank you. I figured I would be seeing you again and wanted to show my appreciation.’

A loud gunshot rings out and blows the fez off The Doctor’s head. The two ponies turn to see a dark yellow earth pony with a curly red mane walking up. She puts a laser pistol into a holster.

‘Hello, Sweetie,’ River Song greets, with a wink towards The Doctor.

‘Damn it, River!’ The Wandering Physicist yells. ‘That was a gift.’

‘Good to see you too, James.’ River gets out a small notebook. ‘Been to Neighpon with the girls yet?’

‘Shut up!’ The Wandering Physicist snaps.

‘Actually River, what are you doing here?’ The Doctor asks.

‘I am giving the keynote for my find of the Ancient Mayan spaceship ten thousand light years from Earth.’ River gets out a letter.

The Doctor gets out a letter too. ‘No, I am going to give a talk on my unique method of squaring a circle using a wheel of cheese and a bag of chips. Hint: You don’t eat the chips.’

The Doctor and River exchange confused looks. They look at The Wandering Physicist.

‘My neutrino research.’

The Doctor looks around nervously. ‘Did that sound like the perfect trap for a group of Time Lords to anypony else?’

A light surrounds the three ponies, and they find themselves in a dark room. River instantly draws her pistol in her mouth and looks for targets. The two Time Lords draw their sonics and start scanning the area.

The Doctor checks his sonic. ‘Great. Daleks.’

The Wandering Physicist checks his results on his mobile. ‘And Cybers.’

‘Boys,’ River calls.

‘Can’t be. Battle of the Bassen Rift. They should be at peace.’

The Wandering Physicist taps his mobile. ‘And Sontarans.’

‘Boys!’

‘Why would the Daleks and Cybers...’

‘And Silurians and Judoon and...’

‘BOYS!’

The Doctor and The Wandering Physicist turn and look at River. A large force of bipedal creatures, some in blue armor, some in black armor, march toward the ponies. They uniformly level large rifles at the ponies.

‘RUN!’ The Doctor shouts and the ponies take off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pinkie waits a couple moments after the TARDIS leaves before asking, ‘Is he gone?’

Twilight opens the closet. ‘Yep.’

Pinkie and Rei jump up and high hoof in midair. ‘PARTY!’

‘I’ll get the supplies if you get the Inkie,’ Pinkie says.

Rei salutes, but a purple magical aura stops her and Pinkie from running off. Twilight steps in front of the other ponies.

‘No. We promised James that we wouldn’t have any parties. So no parties.’ Twilight nods to make her point.

‘He was only joking.’ Pinkie laughs. ‘You can’t take all of his “rules” so literally.’

‘The rules are there to make us act responsibly.’ Twilight sighs. ‘Of course you still have a problem with that.’

‘Hey!’ Pinkie snaps. ‘I am plenty responsible! Why else would James ask me to take care of Rei?’

Twilight laughs. ‘You? He was asking me. The only reason you are here is because of your silly pact thing.’

Pinkie growls. ‘We have that because of our depression. You would think somepony like you would understand.’

Twilight gasps. ‘Well! You are not needed anymore. I’ll take care of Rei from here on out.’

Pinkie grabs Rei. ‘No! I will take care of her. She needs more fun than your stupid rules.’

‘Oh please. We all know how good you are at taking care of other ponies.’

Pinkie stomps her hooves. ‘Mr and Mrs Cake trust me with Pumpkin and Pound! I am a great caretaker.’ She smirks. ‘At least nopony I cared for ever went on a rampage through Ponyville or ran away from home.’

Twilight gasps in shock and anger. ‘Don’t ever say I was a bad caretaker for Spike ever again!’

‘Don’t ever say I am irresponsible ever again!’

‘Um... gals...’

Twilight and Pinkie snap their attention to Rei. The smaller pegasus cowers away from the angry mares. Both of the mares sigh, but they look back at each other angrily.

‘You want to try taking care of Rei? Fine,’ Twilight says. ‘But! We should work out a schedule so we each get a chance to care for her.’

‘Ugh,’ Pinkie moans. ‘You and your crazy schedules.’

Twilight glares. ‘We schedule which days the other cares for her to see who does a better job: you or, more likely, me. That way whoever does a better job will clearly be the better mate for James.’

Twilight nods at her plan while Pinkie thinks it over. Pinkie gets a crafty grin and extends a hoof.

‘Deal, but be prepared to mate with yourself because I am winning this.’

Twilight shakes Pinkie’s hoof. ‘Bring it.’

Rei just looks between the two mares, covers her head with her forelegs and moans.

THUD! Rei moans as she wakes up on the ground. She does not remember falling asleep on the ground... this time. And why is her bed hanging in the air by magic? She reaches down and pats. Nope. All dry.

‘AHEM!’

Rei looks over to see a slightly-blushing Twilight standing in her room. The princess lowers the bed back to its normal position.

‘If you are done with your morning recreation, you should get ready for school.’

Rei stares up at Twilight then notices her hoof placement. ‘I don’t do that every morning. Just days when I have time.’ She looks a nearby clock. ‘Can I get some privacy?’

Twilight turns red and uses her magic to yank Rei to her hooves. ‘You have a busy day ahead of you. You have no time to waste on that.’

Rei turns her head to the side. ‘You can join me.’

Twilight holds back her anger. ‘Your breakfast is getting cold! You don’t have much time to finish it before you double check your homework before you leave for class.’

‘AWWWW!’

‘The more you complain, the less time you have to eat breakfast.’

‘Or, I can not do the homework thing.’

Twilight gasps, ‘Never! Homework is more important than eating or even sleeping! How dare you say such a thing!’

Rei sighs and drags herself out of the room.

Twilight thinks. ‘In fact, maybe you should skip breakfast altogether and check your homework. I mean, I did let you sleep in until seven.’

Rei moans again. ‘At least my dad doesn’t have to put up with something this bad.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wandering Physicist, The Doctor and River are pressed against the walls at either side of a hallway. The black armored bipeds are marching down the hall.

‘It is just Judoon.’ The Doctor says. ‘We just need a distraction, and we can probably trick them to either turning on our side or at least leaving.’

‘What exactly are you thinking?’ River asks.

‘He can jump out and shout “I am being a distraction.” That might work,’ The Wandering Physicist replies.

‘That is stupid!’ The Doctor shoots back.

‘That might work,’ River comments.

‘No, it is stupid.’

‘Oh, you have no sense of fun.’ River smirks at The Doctor. She draws her pistol and rounds the corner. ‘Look at me. I’m being a distraction.’

The Judoon look at River and around at each other before leveling their rifles.

‘You are in violation of the Temporal Noninterference Act of...’

‘Wait!’ The Doctor spins around the corner. ‘The Temporal Noninterference Act only applies to giving time travel technologies to underdeveloped societies.’

The Wandering Physicist steps out. ‘Exactly. It also only applies to technological, not magical time travel. You didn’t enforce the law when Star Swirl devised a time travel spell.’

The Doctor spins around. ‘Obviously, we are ponies and therefore considered magical creatures under the law. You wouldn’t want to violate one law while mistakenly enforcing another.’

The lead Judoon thinks. He lowers his rifle. The others follow suit.

‘This matter requires further legal consultation. We will get back to you in six to eight weeks with our verdict.’

‘We’ll be waiting.’ The Doctor smiles.

The Judoon tap their chest and teleport away. The three ponies breathe a sigh of relief. River holsters her pistol.

River turns to The Doctor. ‘The Temporal Noninterference Act has no provisions for magic, and it was written by Time Lords for Time Lords.’

‘We’ll find that out in six to eight weeks.’ The Doctor grins.

River runs a hoof down The Doctor’s cheek. ‘Ooo. You’re a bad one.’

The Wandering Physicist groans. ‘Ugh. Please tell me that is not what me and Twilight look like.’

The Doctor and River look at each other. They both shake their heads with the utmost seriousness.

Rei happily prances home after her day at school. She drops her saddlebag on the floor and happily trots towards the living room.

‘Where have you been!’ Twilight shouts from the kitchen. ‘You’re late!’

Rei is confused. ‘We just got out a not too long ago...’

‘Right! And accounting for average travel time by trotting or flying, you are four minutes late.’

‘Sheesh. So I stopped to chat with Lucas on my way up here. Big deal.’

‘Big deal?!’ Twilight’s jaw drops. ‘You are losing valuable study time, little lady!’

‘Or, I can play video games until dinner.’

Rei starts moving towards the living room, but Twilight unplugs all of the outlets.

‘Oh no. You are going to do your homework and study now. All this wasted time is coming out of your scheduled dinner time.’

‘What! First you try to cancel breakfast. Now you are attacking dinner. What do you have against food! You seem to like it enough!’

Twilight glares. ‘Just for that, I am not going to make you my special tomato, daisy and sunflower sandwiches to go with your dinner. You are missing out on some very good brain food. Now get in here and study.’

Rei groans. She picks up her bag and trots into the kitchen. She keeps grumbling as she gets out her books.

‘And stop slouching, young lady. It is not good for you.’

Rei has had a very fitful night. All the studying and lack of food until Twilight left really strained Rei’s brain. Rei thinks Rei lost the ability to use pronouns. Rei blames Twilight. Fortunately, Rei was able to commandeer Rei’s dad’s bed. Rei really likes Rei’s dad’s bed, especially on stressful nights when Rei’s dad would comfort Rei and reassure Rei and shove Rei’s dad’s curly, pink mane in Rei’s face. Wait. Rei’s dad does not have a curly pink mane.

Rei opens her eyes and gets a close-up view of Pinkie’s mane in her muzzle. The larger, pinker mare is laying across the smaller pegasus with her head on Rei’s chest. Rei has seen Pinkie do this many times with her father, but she is surprised to find Pinkie doing it now.

‘Pinkie?’ Rei asks.

Pinkie yawns and wipes some drool from her face. She looks up and smiles at Rei.

‘Morning, sleepy head!’

‘What are you doing here?’ Rei yawns.

‘Well, I wanted to wake you up bright and early for this wonderful day! But you were all super sleepy and all tossy turny and wouldn’t wake up when I tried, so I guess I fell asleep on top of you.’ Pinkie giggles. ‘Inkie is right. You are cuddlyrific!’

Rei blushes. ‘Inkie said that?’

‘Well, she was a little more descriptive and said it with a super blushy face, but yeah!’

Rei blushes all over and tries to cover her huge grin with her hooves. She looks away to avoid Pinkie’s stare. She sees her mobile which she was using as a clock, as her father does not have one in his room. Her eyes go wide and she screams.

‘I’m late!’

Pinkie gasps and grabs Rei. ‘Who did it! Was it Stormy! Was it when you licked his horn after he broke up with you? If it was, then I will have to change how I tease Rarity.’

‘No!’ Rei shouts as she throws Pinkie off the bed and rushes out of the room. ‘I overslept and class has already started.’

‘OH! That is good. I was afraid of what your dad would have said for a moment.’

‘Shut up! I need to get out of here. Now!’

‘Oh! Do you need a note? I am good at notes.’

‘Pinkie!’ Rei snaps. ‘Just... ARG! I have to go.’

Rei growls, opens a window and flies out. Pinkie frowns and thinks how she can fix the situation. A lightbulb appears over her head.

‘Aha!’ She looks up and giggles. ‘Hee hee. LED. Saves electricity.’

The Doctor is leading the group through a dark passage. River is bringing up the rear with her pistol ready. The Wandering Physicist is tapping away on his mobile.

‘James,’ The Doctor says. ‘May I ask you a question?’

‘Serious answer or my answer?’ James replies.

‘If you haven’t had that Sweet Apple Acres event, have you at least had the time where Big Macintosh caught you and chased you across town?’

James groans and tries not to smash his mobile against his head. ‘Why do you have to spoil everything?’

‘I’m sorry. I just don’t understand how you can do everything in order like that.’

‘Theta, close your eyes. What do you see?’

‘Same thing as you. Everything.’

‘Right. And knowing my pseudonym, do you really think I really want to see that and have everything happening out of order?’

The Doctor sighs. ‘You physicists and your damn symmetries.’

The Wandering Physicist snorts. ‘You doctors and your... doctorness.’

River groans. ‘You boys and your petty arguments.’

Both Time Lords turn back and snort. ‘Archeologist.’

All three ponies glare at each other. A loud hiss fills the tunnels. Thin, bipedal reptilian shapes dart around in the darkness. Six ears shoot into the air as the three ponies as they look around.

‘Running?’ The Doctor suggests.

James groans. ‘This never happens when I go to PAX.’

Rei drags herself upstairs on her she return home. She is annoyed about arriving late and missing a class. She is hungry since Stormy and Image were jerks and did not let her steal their lunches. She just wants to... SQUEEEEEEE! Son of a bi...

Pinkie lowers her noise maker. ‘Welcome home!’

♬

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

You are safe at home!

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

Now you can rest your cute little dome!

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

Did you have a happy day?

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

I am so glad to see our precious little Rei!

♪

Pinkie ends her song with a large smile. Rei forces a smile in return.

‘Hi Pinkie.’

‘You were looking a little down and frazzled this morning so I wanted to bring back that cute little big smile you had when you woke up.’

Rei perks up. ‘Is Inkie here!’

‘Sorry. She had a lot of work to do with Twilight today since Miss Prissy Pants says that taking care of you yesterday put her behind in her work.’

‘Oh...’ Rei pouts. ‘Can we invite Stormy and Image over?’

‘Aw! I just wanted to have a girl’s night in for the two of us. Doesn’t that sound fun!’

Rei sighs. ‘Yes, Pinkie. Loads of fun.’

‘AHEM!’

Once again Rei wakes to a really loud, really rude throat clearing. The first thing she does is reach for her mobile to check the time. Luna-damnit, Twilight! At least let us sleep until six. The half-asleep Rei looks over at Twilight and tries making her argument in the ancient language of yawn. Judging by Twilight’s scowl, she either does not speak yawn or did not want to listen to reason.

‘What are you doing in James’ bed?’ Twilight snaps.

‘Daddy lets me sleep here all the...’

‘Not you, Rei. Her!’

Twilight points at the slowly waking Pinkie Pie on top of Rei. Pinkie blinks several times before realizing what is going on.

‘Twilight? Why are you here so early?’

‘Early! I have been up for almost an hour. I am here to make sure that Rei gets the best care that she deserves.’

‘By waking her up at Celestia-awful o’clock in the morning? We were up all night partying. At least let us sleep in.’

Twilight gasps. ‘You broke a rule!’

‘Calm down. It was just the two of us.’ Pinkie settles down on top of Rei. ‘Now if you’ll excuse us.’

‘Oh no!’ Twilight magics the two ponies out of bed. ‘You are not going to use this as an excuse to be in MY coltfriend’s bed.’

‘YOUR coltfriend!’ Pinkie gasps. ‘Oh no no no. I’ve known him longer. If anything, he is mine!’

The two mares butt heads and growl at each other. Rei looks back and forth between the two combatants. She opens her mouth to speak.

‘Rei. Your breakfast is on the table,’ Twilight growls. ‘I’ll be there in a bit once we settle some things.’

Rei looks back and forth between the two mares before sighing and walking out of the room. As soon as she closes the door behind her, the shouting begins.

A sharp jab in the back wakes Rei at the end of class. She looks behind her at a concerned Stormy.

‘You okay?’ Stormy asks. ‘You have been out of it in every class so far, and you even fell asleep for a bit just now.’

‘I’m fine,’ Rei yawns. ‘I just need some lunch or something.’

‘Hey,’ Image interrupts. ‘I made extra today if you need some.’

‘Me too,’ Stormy adds. ‘Carousel Boutique is doubling as a backup Sugarcube Corner today since I made Rei-sized snacks for you.’

‘Aww. You’re both so sweet.’ Rei smiles at her friends.

‘No. They are literally Rei-sized,’ Stormy explains. ‘Which is pretty easy to do since you’re so short.’

The thought of eating her weight in herself overpowers dwelling on the height insult in Rei’s mind. She just hugs her friends and heads to lunch. A sharp whistle cuts the group off.

‘Rei. Can I speak with you?’

Rei groans at the delayed lunch. She turns to go back and talk with Heartstrings-sensei. She sits by the desk as Lyra leans back in her chair and puts her hind legs up.

‘Now, Rei. What am I going to do with you? I want to punish you for sleeping in class, but your snoring was the most in-tune you were this whole semester.’

‘Gomen nasai, Heartstrings-sensei,’ Rei pouts.

Lyra frowns at her student. ‘Do you want me to talk with Twilight and Pinkie to see if they can give you a little space?’

Rei adopts a halfhearted smile. ‘They are not that bad...’

The door to the classroom bursts open and Pinkie sticks her head in.

‘Rei! There you are. I saw that meager lunch that Snooty McSnooterson made for you so I had to make it up to you, so I filled the cafeteria with Jell-O™! You know. Just like we talked about last night. Doesn’t that show that we get along well? You’ll tell your dad, right? Oh! I better get there before it is all eaten.’

Pinkie gallops away. Rei turns back to face Lyra. She is forcing back tears.

‘They’re not that...’

Lyra puts a hoof on Rei’s shoulder. ‘You don’t have to put up with them. If they don’t leave you alone, you can always come to me. What is a teacher for?’

Rei frowns and nods. She slowly gets up and heads out to see what trouble Pinkie caused.

James, The Doctor and River stand back-to-back-to-back as they make their way away from a number of animate statues. The statues look like stone pegasi, except they have the most frightening expressions. The lights in the room flicker and when they do, the creatures advance.

‘I think you made them mad when you got them to say “comfy chairs,” Doctor,’ River shouts.

The Doctor laughs to himself. ‘Comfy chairs.’

‘I think we’re at a dead end.’ James says.

‘Oh, we’re not that bad off.’ The Doctor assures.

James turns around. ‘No. Literally. We are at a wall.’

‘Okay, boys, any bright ideas?’

‘Without a crack in space-time? No.’ The Doctor replies. ‘Maybe the physicist can physics a solution.’

James thinks while joining his friends in watching the Angels. ‘They are only quantum locked when observed, right? I guess that means we need some observables.’

The Doctor thinks. ‘Oh. You’re an ass.’

‘Thank you.’ James beams and turns to River. ‘Going to need to borrow your scanner.’

James takes River’s scanner and starts sonicing it.

‘What are you doing?’

‘An observable is anything that can be measured, right? It can be as big as a galaxy or as small as a photon. Any time there is any sort of quantum interaction, a whole slew of observables are created as virtual particles. I am setting your scanner to become a zero-point generator. It will create a photonic shell around itself and use that to trap virtual particles particles to power itself. Unfortunately for anything in the field, it will draw energy from them as well, if only femto-eVs at a time. I use them to replace batteries since you can never find the right-sized battery when you need one.’

‘So you’re going to make my scanner into a giant battery and drain the life out of the Angels using imaginary particles?’ River asks.

‘No. Virtual. They are not imaginary. Well, some have imaginary components in certain vector spaces... There!’

James activates the scanner and slides it into the middle of the group of Weeping Angels. All the Angels become visible and freeze in place. James laughs at his work. The group starts navigating their way through the Angels. Suddenly, loud Neighponese music starts playing. The Doctor and River almost bump into Angels out of surprise.

‘Oh right. I needed something to drain the battery when it got too full,’ James explains. ‘So, I hooked it up to my playlists. Give them something good to listen to.’

‘You really are an ass.’ The Doctor comments.

James just laughs as he makes his way through the Angels.

Rei barely has the energy to make it up the stairs when she gets home. Pinkie’s antics at lunch caused Rei to miss valuable rest time. Her other teachers were less generous than Lyra about Rei’s situation as well. On top of that, Rei rushed home since she knew that Twilight would be waiting for her, and she wanted to actually have dinner this time. At the top of the stairs, she finds Twilight and Pinkie in another shouting match. It must be a bad one since Pinkie’s hair is flat by the time Rei arrives.

‘... and it made a lot of other ponies happy too!’ Pinkie shouts.

‘That doesn’t change the fact that you destroyed the high school cafeteria! You acted irresponsibly!’

‘Stop using that word! If you actually found time in your damn schedule to make her a bucking lunch, then I wouldn’t have had to make it up to her.’

‘She has plenty of time in the evening before bed to make her lunch in advance. I know that she is quite capable if you give her a chance.’

‘Then give her a chance to do her own homework. You have yet to find one wrong answer and she even outsmarts you at times too.’

‘Hey! I just don’t want my future step-daughter to get bad grades and be held back. I am being responsible.’

‘I will not have you talk about my little Rei like that! She is not your kid and never will be.’

‘URUSAI! URUSAI! URUSAI!!!’ Rei shouts as loud as she can.

The two mares stop fighting and stare at Rei. They swear she somehow tapped into the Royal Canterlot Voice with the shout. The smaller pegasus is seething where she stands. Her wing tips appear black. She is so upset she starts to cry.

‘You two don’t care about me at all! You only care about who will look better to otoo-san. If you want my opinion, neither of you do! I hopes he dumps both of you! ... Into a black hole!’

Both mares stare in shock. Simultaneously, they take a step forward to comfort the upset filly.

‘YAMETE!’ Rei shrieks. An electrical force field surrounds her, blows out a nearby light and scorches up the walls and floor. ‘Don’t come near me! I hate you!’

‘Rei... We just want to help,’ Twilight says.

‘We didn’t mean to hurt you,’ Pinkie adds.

‘Shut up! Urusai! I don’t want to see you again!’ Rei’s yells cut the two mares deep. ‘Since you won’t leave my house, I guess I will have to!’

Rei turns around and flies out of the house, leaving an electrical trail to dissipate in her wake. The two mares stare in shock before jumping to action.

‘Get downstairs and tell Lucas what is going on. I am going to go look for her,’ Twilight says.

‘Why should I tell Lucas? It is your fault!’

‘How is this my fault? She was clearly looking at you the whole time.’

‘If she was, then it was only because she wanted to see a friendly face.’

‘My face is much friendlier than yours!’

‘Yeah right. You didn’t even know the meaning of friendly until after I met you!’

‘At least all of my childhood friends weren’t a pile of rocks!’

SLAP! Pinkie’s fierce backhoof leaves a large red mark across Twilight’s face. The edge of Pinkie’s hoof even cuts Twilight’s face a bit and draws some blood. The two mares lock eyes in the fiercest of glares.

‘Fine. We both look for her. The loser meets the hero back here later,’ Twilight snarls.

‘Fine. We’ll be waiting for you.’

Pinkie turns and starts heading downstairs. Twilight bumps Pinkie into the wall and goes down first.

James sits against a computer console. He stares at his mobile and sighs. River walks up and drops a Cyberpony helmet beside the stallion. She looks down at the sad stallion.

‘The Doctor is on his way. He is just downloading the rest of the Cyber Controller.’

James looks up. ‘Huh? Okay. Got their mainframe here.’ He taps the computer.

River sits next to James and peeks at his mobile. ‘Missing them?’

‘Yeah,’ James sighs. ‘I left Rei with Twilight and Pinkie. I am just imagining them sitting around and having fun and just being the best of friends.’

‘You love them, don’t you?’

‘More than you love Theta. And you’re actually married.’

‘Not too loud. He might hear.’ Seeing that the coast is clear, River punches James in the shoulder. ‘So, when am I getting the invite you your wedding?’

James blushes and looks away. ‘Shut up.’

‘More importantly, which of them are you going to marry?’ She thinks for a second. ‘Though technically, one is rem...’

James growls. ‘Do you want to know when your worst day finally comes?’ -- River shakes her head -- ‘Then drop it, okay?’

River laughs. ‘A response like that is why they love you.’

A knock on the front door brings Bon Bon out of the kitchen. Lyra pops her head out of her study, ending the lyre composing that filled the house. Bon Bon looks at her wife. They exchange confused shrugs, and Bon Bon opens the door. A sobbing Rei is standing on the other side. Bon Bon escorts the filly inside and gives her a hug.

‘What is wrong, dear?’ Bon Bon asks.

‘Twilight and Pinkie were on the warpath, right?’ Lyra snorts.

Rei nods.

Lyra growls. She looks over at Bon bon. ‘I told her she could come here if she needed a place to get away from them.’

Bon Bon hugs Rei again. ‘Well, she is always safe here.’ She lets Rei go. ‘I’ll get the guest room ready for you. Just get comfy here. There are sweets in the fridge.’

Rei nods and finds a place to sit down. Lyra rubs Rei’s back and comforts the young pegasus.

Pinkie paces in the alley behind The Power Block. There is a bright flash as Twilight teleports to the area. Twilight looks around and scowls.

‘I thought you would accomplish as much.’

‘Shut up!’ Pinkie snaps. ‘It looks like your magic was as effective as ever.’

‘If you were a little more responsible...’

‘If you were less of a prissy pants...’

‘If you stopped to think for once...’

‘If you could loosen up a bit...’

‘Hyperactive twit!’

‘Stuck-up bitch!’

Twilight gasps. She has never heard Pinkie use that sort of language before. The calm and rational Twilight is put off by that sort of behavior and would never respond in kind. Unfortunately, the fiery and irrational Twilight is steering this ship.

‘Guy-stealing whore!’

Pinkie is literally knocked backwards by the outburst. Pinkie knows that Twilight is very upset, and they need to calm the heated emotions. Maybe have some cupcakes and share a good laugh... Or they can fight it out!

Pinkie growls, puts her head down, and rams Twilight as hard as she can. Twilight picks herself up and fires a magical bolt that knocks Pinkie into a wall. The two mares butt their heads together.

‘Why do you have to be such an insufferable blockhead!’ Twilight shouts.

‘Me! You are the joyless fussy-britches here!’ Pinkie yells back.

‘In all of the time I have known you, you have been nothing but a pain in everypony’s side. You never listen to reason, and you always screw everything up with your careless attitude!’

‘Well, you have tried sucking the fun out of everything everypony has done! Everything has to be organized and scheduled and managed six-ways from Sunday in every direction except the right one with you. If I try to make you have fun, it is because you have a stick up your ass so big it makes the Yggdrasil look like a twig!’

‘Excuse me! I’m the stuck-up one!? I am only being responsible. Somepony has to clean up all of the messes you cause. While you are out running around and being a nutter, somepony has to make sure there is actually and Equestria left standing once you are done.’

‘And which one of us destroyed Ponyville with parasprites?’

‘That only happened one time!’

‘And who almost got us eaten by a hydra?’

‘It was because of your damn Pinkie Sense!’

‘And you were the one that activated it!’

‘At least I didn’t try selling out my friends to Discord for some chocolate milk rain!’

‘I never switched everypony’s cutie marks and changed everypony’s destiny!’

With emotions at their peak, the calm and rational Twilight Sparkle and friendly and caring Pinkie Pie would choose their words really carefully or else they could lose a friend forever.

‘I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!’ both of the mares shout.

Twilight and Pinkie start storming away in opposite directions. Pinkie stops and shudders all over.

‘Whoa. Another doozy.’

Twilight sighs. ‘Not more Pinkie Sense crap again.’

‘You used to believe,’ Pinkie growls.

‘Anything to shut you up.’

‘Fine. Then be here two days from now and see that something extraordinarily amazing is going to happen.’

‘Fine. And when nothing happens, I hope you will give up that stupid nonsense once and for all.’

Both mares snort at each other again and go their separate ways.

Twilight teleports into the library. Spike and Inkie come out of their rooms to see their friend.

‘Did you find her? Is she safe?’ Spike asks.

‘No. We didn’t find her.’ Twilight growls.

‘Poor Rei-chan.’ Inkie frowns.

Twilight glares over to Inkie. ‘Spike, go back to our room. I want to talk to Inkie privately.’

Spike nervously goes back to his and Twilight’s room. Twilight marches Inkie back into her room. The younger pony is really scared by Twilight’s behavior, especially when the princess magically slams and locks the door.

‘Where is she?’ Twilight growls.

Inkie shrinks away. ‘How, how would I know?’

‘Don’t give me that crap!’ Twilight yells. ‘You are her fillyfriend! Tell me!’

‘I really don’t know!’ Inkie cries. ‘Honest!’

Twilight grabs Inkie with her magic and forces the younger pony into the wall. ‘Don’t lie to me! That is all your family does! Lies and trouble! Tell me where Rei is now!’

Inkie winces in pain. ‘You’re... hurting me.’

Twilight throws Inkie to the floor. Inkie cowers under Twilight as the princess steps over her.

‘You’re as useless and pathetic as your sister,’ Twilight growls. ‘When she contacts you, tell me first or that will be the last time you talk to your sister.’ Her eyes and horn flash with a dark purple aura. ‘And don’t you dare defy your princess’ command.’

Twilight teleports away. Inkie curls up on the floor and starts sobbing.

Pinkie is at Fluttershy’s cottage. She angrily paces while Fluttershy is torn between helping or hiding from her friend. All the animals that normally fill and surround the cottage are hiding.

‘The nerve of her!’ Pinkie shouts. ‘Calling me irresponsible and careless! How many years has it been?’

‘Oh I don’t...’ Fluttershy starts.

‘Too many! That is how long!’ Pinkie replies to herself. ‘I wasted too many years on that pony! I tried showing her how to have fun, but she is too stupid to understand! All of the other royals, even Chrysalis, know how to have fun!’

‘Pinkie, don’t you think you are over...’

‘Overreacting! If anything I am underreacting!’

Fluttershy decides the right action is to hide behind the couch until Pinkie calms down. The door to the cottage opens and somepony enters.

‘What is going in here?’ Rainbow Dash demands. ‘It sounds like a war.’

‘Oh, Rainbow Dash!’ Fluttershy cries. ‘Pinkie has gone crazy!’

‘Me?!’ Pinkie gasps. ‘I have gone sane! It is Twilight who is crazy! Crazy again!’

‘Okay...’ Rainbow Dash flies over to Fluttershy. She leans down and whispers, ‘Hide your rocks, your flour and all of your lint.’

‘We don’t have time for a party!’ Pinkie yells. ‘Except for a search party. I need you pegasuseseseses to help me find Rei. I need your crazy weird cloud powers to search the sky. We have to find her before Twilight does!’

‘And for those of us late to the party?’ Rainbow Dash asks.

‘Arg! Don’t you know anything!’ Pinkie roars. ‘Whoever finds Rei, wins James’ heart! Celestia-damn it! Am I surrounded by foals!’

Pinkie screams again and storms out of the cottage. Rainbow Dash helps Fluttershy out of hiding. Fluttershy gives her friend a hug and a nuzzle to ease her nerves. Rainbow Dash returns the hug.

‘Sontar-Ha! Sontar-Ha! Sontar-Ha! Sontar-Ha!’

The loud war chant fills the Sontaran base. The Sontarans are standing around a map of the base and the surrounding complexes.

‘Sontar-Ha! Sontar-Ha! Sontar-Ha! Sontar-Ha!’

Two voices in the chanting are different than the others. The Sontarans stop and turn toward the off chanting. The Doctor and James continue their chanting. The Doctor is first to notice the attention. He nudges James, and the other pony stops as well. The Sontarans level their weapons at the intruders.

‘Hello!’ The Doctor greets.

The lead Sontaran steps forward. ‘We have captured you for the glory of the Sontaran Empire. State your intentions before we kill you.’

‘Actually, we just needed you to turn around so our friend could sneak up on you,’ The Doctor replies.

The Sontarans all spin around to face their attacker, but they find nopony. Shots ring out and laser bolts shoot over The Doctor’s and James’ head and hit the Sontarans in their weak point at the back of their necks. The Sontarans scream and fall. River blows the smoke from her gun and steps up to the other ponies.

‘Good distraction, boys’

‘Excellent sneaking. You could give Lyra tips on subtlety.’

The Doctor studies the map. ‘Looks like there is only one major area left.’

‘Three guesses who we find there,’ James grumbles.

River checks the charge on her gun. ‘No time like the present.’

‘Right! Geronimo!’

Rei is trying to sleep in the guest bed at Lyra and Bon Bon’s house. The recent events make it hard to sleep. She moans and checks the time on her mobile. Only about a hour to sunrise. The mobile illuminates something else in the room. Rei looks over and sees somepony else in the room. She screams and tries to hide. Lyra illuminates the room with her magic. She had apparently been writing notes with her hooves.

‘Just keep doing what you were doing. It is good data,’ Lyra says.

Rei covers her head under the blankets as Lyra puts her magic out.

After school, the Cutie Mark Crusaders head to their clubhouse. The whole town is buzzing about Rei’s disappearance and Twilight and Pinkie’s battle to find her. The three young fillies are talking about the recent events.

‘Think about it.’ Scootaloo says. ‘If we find her, we can get our cutie marks in saving ponies and become heroes too!’

‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PONY RESCUERS! YAY!’ the group cheers.

The fillies rush into the clubhouse to plan their search. Inside, they find a large pile of apple cores from the surrounding orchard and a sleeping white pegasus. The fillies gasp and immediately check to see if they got their cutie marks. They frown and moan when nothing appears. Rei groans and rolls over.

‘I don’t feel good.’ The older filly moans.

‘Ah’ll say,’ Apple Bloom comments as she kicks the pile of apple cores. ‘It looks ya ate three trees’ worth o’ apples and we ain’t nowhere near harvest yet.’

Sweetie Belle trots over and examines Rei. ‘Gals, she doesn’t look too good.’

‘With all of the fighting, I tried going to Lyra-sensei for help, but I couldn’t sleep and she kept me up all night. Then the poison apples...’

‘Hey!’ Apple Bloom protests.

‘Maybe she caught The Gay from Lyra,’ Scootaloo says. ‘My dad says it is very infectious. That is why we can’t go to Bon Bon’s shop. Ever.’

‘If that were how it works, ya must go there all the time,’ Apple Bloom mumbles to herself.

‘What was that!’

‘Nothin’! Or it would be if ya didn’ try kissin’ us every ten seconds.’

‘I told you, the one time was an accident and the other time was for science.’

‘Inkie once tested some plants that made her very kissy for science.’ Rei comments.

‘See! It is perfectly normal!’ Scootaloo turns with a huff.

‘Anyway. Is there anything we can do to help you?’ Sweetie Belle asks Rei.

‘Well, I could use something to drink. I finished off all of the juice you had hidden under the floorboards.’

‘My secret stash!’ Scootaloo cries.

‘And can you not tell Twilight, Pinkie or Lyra I am here? They scare me.’

‘We have your back,’ Sweetie Belle assures. ‘Come on, gals! We can try for our nursing cutie marks again!’

Sweetie Belle gallops away with Apple Bloom in tow. Scootaloo goes over to Rei and glares.

‘That wasn’t juice, you know.’

Rei smiles and gives a drunken hiccup. ‘I know. Why do you think I can’t stand right now?’

Scootaloo growls again. ‘If my dad knew I took them, he would be mad, too.’

‘You’re cute when you’re grumpy.’

Scootaloo blushes and backs away. Rei leans up for a kiss, but the booze kicks in again and she passes out. Scootaloo sighs and chases after her friends.

The Doctor, River and James follow a Dalek down a corridor. A pair of Daleks stand behind the Time Lords, and Daleks stand guard every few meters down the corridor. The group reaches a room where a white Dalek is waiting.

‘We have captured The Doctor and his allies.’ The white Dalek states. ‘We have victory! We have our revenge!’

‘That is one way of looking at it,’ The Doctor shrugs.

‘Doctor, they have us surrounded and if I could get my gun, we’d be dead before I get a shot off.’ River replies.

‘Stop taking their side!’ The Doctor shouts.

‘We were defeated once before by The Doctor and The Wandering Physicist,’ the Dalek states. ‘Prepare for your defeat.’

‘I don’t think we really defeated them.’ James starts.

‘Yeah. That was more your little massacre, not mine. … For once.’ The Doctor chimes in.

‘Who planted the bombs on all of their ships?’ James protests.

‘Exactly.’ The Doctor replies.

The two Time Lords laugh at the joke. River sighs and drops her head.

‘Silence!’ The Dalek shouts.

‘Where!’ The Doctor and James jump and look around.

‘Boys! Important!’ River snaps.

‘Oh, right,’ James realizes. ‘We’re really in a situation aren’t, we Doctor.’

‘Quite the situation. Absolutely no way out,’ The Doctor replies.

‘No allies.’

‘No clever plans.’

‘No secret weapons.’

‘No TARDIS.’

‘No mobile linked to the central mainframe and a hoof on the self-destruct button,’ James holds up his mobile. ‘Wait. We have one of those.’

James presses the button. Alarm klaxons start sounding. The Daleks start panicking and advance on the Time Lords.

‘EXTERMINATE!’

‘Hold it! Hold it!’ The Doctor calls. ‘You can either exterminate us or use your last moments to try and escape.’

The Daleks look at each other. The white one hovers away, but the drones stay put. Once the white Dalek is gone, the drones cover the retreat. The white Dalek stops and turns back.

‘You have sealed your fate. Without your time machine, you are stuck here.’

The Daleks continue their escape with their weapons still trained on the ponies.

‘Don’t worry! I have an app for that!’ James calls.

James presses another button, and a video game cabinet starts materializing behind the ponies. James gives the Daleks a salute as he and the others escape into the TARDIS.

Later in the afternoon, Sweetie Belle is in Rarity’s kitchen doing her homework with Stormy. After getting some food and blankets for Rei, she had to come home or else she could get in trouble for being out too late. The older unicorn is helping Sweetie Belle with some of her maths homework when Rarity and a still furious-looking Pinkie enter the room. Sweetie Belle squeaks and tries hiding. Stormy sighs and gets up.

‘Fine. Let’s get this over with.’ Stormy grumbles. He steps into the next room with the two mares. ‘By the way, last pony to beat the crap out of me was far drunker, but not nearly as frightening as you, Pinkie.’

‘Shut up!’ Pinkie snaps.

After giving the older ponies a moment, Sweetie Belle gets up and sneaks over beside the doorway. She peeks around, using all of the eavesdropping skills she learned from her sister and as Gabby Gums.

‘Pinkie. I haven’t seen her since you filled the school with gelatin,’ Stormy groans.

‘You know all of her hiding spots, so tell me!’ Pinkie demands.

Stormy groans again. ‘She never had a reason to hide before now. Besides, can’t you ask Inkie? She knows as much as I do.’

Pinkie growls. ‘For some reason Inkie-Doodles isn’t talking to me, and she screams and cries when I try talking to her.’

‘Oh dear,’ Rarity gasps.

‘Sorry. I can’t help there either.’ Stormy shrugs.

‘I will find her first no matter who gets in my way,’ Pinkie growls as she storms out of the house.

Sweetie Belle sweats in her hiding place. She makes sure the coast is clear and sneaks out the back of the house.

Past dark, Twilight is in Applejack’s house magically scanning every surface. She has not caused any destruction, but she is getting on everypony’s nerves. Applejack stands off to the side while her friend searches. Apple Bloom is hiding in the next room, watching the search.

‘Are y’all ‘bout done?’ Applejack asks. ‘We have t’ start cookin’ dinner soon.’

‘My magic traced her to this area,’ Twilight replies. ‘Once I am done searching the house and the barn, I am going to need your help combing the orchards.’

‘Ah ain’t letting y’all near mah orchards if yer not gonna calm down a bit.’

‘Calm! This is no time for calm! A pony’s life is on the line!’

‘Rei can take care o’ hersel...’

‘Not her! Me! If I don’t find her, James will think I am as irresponsible as Pinkie! He will never want to see me again. He may even leave the planet and go to the opposite end of the universe to avoid me. I can’t let that happen!’

‘Yeah... That don’ sound like him.’

Twilight groans. ‘What do you know? It is not like you like for him as much as I do.’

Applejack blushes and looks away. ‘Well, uh...’

‘ARG! She’s not here. Time to check the barn.’

Twilight teleports out of the house. Applejack sighs and shakes her head. Apple Bloom comes out of hiding and goes to the door.

‘And where d’ ya think yer goin’?’ Applejack catches her sister.

‘Oh, uh...’ Apple Bloom thinks as fast as possible. ‘Ah was gonna watch the orchard in case Twilight starts causin’ more trouble.’

‘Hmm...’ Applejack thinks. ‘That ain’t that bad of an idea. Y’all go ahead. Ah’m gonna get our brother and join ya.’

Apple Bloom nods and heads out the door. She looks to make sure nopony is watching before galloping to the clubhouse.

Sweetie Belle skids to a stop at to the clubhouse right as Apple Bloom arrives. The two fillies take a moment to catch their breath.

‘We have to warn Rei!’ both fillies shout.

‘Pinkie is searching everywhere!’ Sweetie Belle shouts. ‘I think she is using her weird sense to help her.’

‘Twilight’s magically trackin’ her,’ Apple Bloom adds. ‘She’s in the orchard now!’

Both fillies scramble up the ladder and barge into the clubhouse. Rei and Scootaloo are already waiting.

‘Hey.’ Rei nervously greets. ‘Scootaloo already warned me. Thanks, you three.’

Rei leans over and kisses each of the fillies on the forehead. Sweetie Belle grimaces and sticks her tongue out. Scootaloo smiles. Apple Bloom blushes and smiles a bit. Scootaloo smiles at her friend.

‘You should run before they get here,’ Rei warns.

‘Too late...’ Apple Bloom says as she looks out a window.

There is a bright flash as Twilight teleports into the area. Moments later, Pinkie gallops into the clearing around the clubhouse. The two mares instantly lock glares on each other. They simultaneously break the standoff by turning to the clubhouse.

‘Rei, please come out,’ both mares say at once. They shoot each other a quick glare. ‘I’m not mad at you.’ They turn and lock the glare. ‘Quit copying me!’

‘How did you even find her out here?’ Twilight asks. ‘Did your fake Pinkie Sense tell you or did you have to go to Madam Pinkie?’

Pinkie growls. ‘Actually, my Pinkie Sense told me to come here hours ago. It took me so long because Inkie was extra sobby when I found her. Do you know why that is? Did you find your way out here because Applejack is back home caring for Apple Bloom?’

‘Ah’m all safe!’ Apple Bloom calls. ‘Fer now...’

Twilight snorts. ‘See. I just followed her, and Inkie was just being indignant. I had to coax her cooperation.’

Pinkie rams Twilight as hard as she can. ‘You beat up my little sister! Why shouldn’t I do the same to you?’

Twilight uses her magic to force Pinkie back. ‘You wouldn’t because you always have somepony else to do your bidding. If it is not ponies randomly dropping flowers on me constantly you just summon some random disaster. I still have a sore leg from that chimera you tried befriending last month.’

‘It wouldn’t have gotten mad if you didn’t try to use your freaky magic on it. Besides, you are so lazy you just teleport everywhere anyway.’

‘It takes a lot of magic to teleport. That is more of a workout than I ever see you do.’

Pinkie just snorts and turns away. ‘Rei, I’m sorry for all of the trouble. Let’s go home now.’

Twilight growls and turns to the clubhouse. ‘Rei, I’m coming up. We can talk about this.’

The alicorn tries teleporting, but a magical shield blocks her and she drops from the sky mid-teleportation. She tumbles backwards and ends up at Pinkie’s hooves. Both mares, and some nervous Cutie Mark Crusaders, look outside the clubhouse to see Princess Luna landing on top of the structure. If Luna looked as imposing as she does at this moment when she was Nightmare Moon, the Elements of Harmony might never have been reborn.

‘Thou art not to approach her!’ Luna shouts down at Twilight and Pinkie.

‘Mommy?’ Rei squeaks from her hiding place.

Twilight and Pinkie cower and back away from the angry princess. There is a flash behind the two mares, and they bump into somepony. They turn to see Princess Celestia glaring down at them.

‘Spike very reluctantly informed me of the situation,’ Celestia states. ‘He seemed quite upset when he wrote me.’ She leans down to Twilight. ‘You and I are going to have a long talk later.’

‘But princess, I was just trying to...’ Celestia’s frown is enough to silence Twilight. ‘Yes, princess.’

Celestia turns to Pinkie. ‘I would like to have some words with you too, Miss Pie.’

‘Princess Celestia... Let me explain...’ Twilight starts. ‘I was driven to act this way because of Pinkie’s behavior.’

‘Me! You were the one that was acting irrationally.’ Pinkie counters. ‘Don’t lie to the princess.’

‘How was I any bit irrational? You were the one that filled the school with...’

‘Because you weren’t feeding her enough! I never starved...’

‘She was not starved! I made perfectly proportioned meals that contained the right amount of vitamins and...’

Pinkie groans and turns to Celestia. ‘Can you believe her? Thinking that’s what a growing filly need?’

‘And shoving a bakery down her throat every meal is?’

‘She got to have as much or as little as she wanted. Besides, we would play all of the extra calories off.’

‘And her homework got done when?’ Twilight shakes her head. ‘If you ever have foals, they are going to end up fat and stupid.’

‘Better than overstressed twigs.’ Pinkie looks Twilight over. ‘Of course, they can turn out like you and be overstressed blobs.’

‘Air-brained nitwit.’

‘Big stupid meanie!’

‘Vapid ignoramus!’

‘Those aren’t words!’

‘Yes, they are! You would know that if you had anything between your ears!’

‘Twilight Sparkle! Pinkamena Diane Pie!’

Twilight freezes when she remembers that she has been fighting in front of her mentor this whole time. Pinkie tenses up since she is only used to hearing her whole name yelled when her father is really, really, belt-in-one-hoof angry with her.

‘You will cease this pointless bickering at once,’ Celestia commands. ‘Do you wish to ruin the friendship you have built these past years?’

Twilight and Pinkie face each other. They instantly scowl at each other.

‘What about with your other friends?’ Celestia asks.

Twilight and Pinkie turn towards the clubhouse. All of their friends are at the bottom comforting the scared Cutie Mark Crusaders. The four mares turn to the two fighting ones and frown at their friends.

Rarity steps forward, in front of Sweetie Belle. ‘Dearies, we have been talking it over, and concerning your recent behavior towards not only each other but to us and the rest of the...’

‘You’re out of the group,’ Rainbow Dash interrupts. She looks over at Rarity. ‘What? That was what you were getting around to. I just cut to the chase.’

‘Y’all ain’t acting like yerselves,’ Applejack says. ‘Ah don’ know what yer turnin’ int’, but it ain’t somethin’ that we rightly want t’ be around.’

‘So, uh, if it is okay with you, we don’t want to be friends with you, um, if you are going to act that way towards ponies who were your friends...’ Fluttershy struggles to say. ‘Please don’t be mad...’

Rainbow Dash jabs Fluttershy.

‘Make us cry, we say goodbye!’ Fluttershy hastily shouts.

Twilight and Pinkie stare at their friends in shock. The whole situation they created is finally coming into view in their heads. Before anypony can react, a loud whooshing sound fills the clearing. Slowly, a new apple tree materializes beside the orchard. Once it is solid, a door opens on the side and James stumbles out.

‘You do not know how good it is to see all of you,’ James sighs.

James stumbles to his friends to greet them. The first pony he hugs is Applejack, getting a big blush from her. He works down the line until all he does is brohoof Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo. He crosses the field and bows to Celestia.

‘Keeping it real, princess?’ James asks.

‘Mr Wanderer... We have a bit of a...’ Celestia begins.

‘I just got back from helping my friends fight some ultimate evil. Give me a sec to see my girls.’

James turns and gives Twilight and Pinkie long hugs and big kisses.

‘Now, speaking of my girls, where is my daughter?’

Everypony nervously looks at the clubhouse. James trots up to the clubhouse. He stops to smile at Luna before entering. Everypony watches the clubhouse in silence after James enters. Several tense moments later, James stomps out, followed by Rei. He marches right down the stairs and towards his TARDIS.

‘We’re leaving,’ James states bluntly.

‘But, James...’ Twilight tries to say.

‘Twilight! Right now, with how I am feeling, if you try to think you can talk your way out of me being angry with you and Pinkie, the Daleks will have gotten off lucky today when I blew up their base.’

Twilight and Pinkie whine and look away. James escorts his daughter into the TARDIS. He turns back. He glares directly at Twilight and Pinkie.

‘I am very disappointed with you. We are leaving now. Goodbye.’

The TARDIS dematerializes and disappears. Everypony stands around not really knowing what to do.

‘Might we suggest that thou go back home and get some rest,’ Luna says. ‘Thou must all be tired.’

‘Good idea, Luna.’ Celestia replies. ‘Hopefully, we will have cooler heads in the morning.’

All the ponies nod and head their separate ways. Celestia stops Twilight and Pinkie.

‘I would still like to speak with the two of you at some point.’

The two broken mares silently nod before continuing back to their homes.

The next morning, Twilight pulls a cart carrying her belongings and Spike across Ponyville. She has her head down as she walks. Everypony whispers to each other as she passes.

‘Why do we have to leave, Twilight?’ Spike asks.

‘I told you,’ Twilight sighs. ‘I hurt James. I hurt my friends. Worst of all, I hurt Pinkie. I... I can’t face her again. Ever. She will never forgive me.’

‘Then, why are we going there?’

‘... Because he left too.’ Twilight chokes back a tear. ‘I just want one last goodbye, even if he is not there, before facing my punishment from Celestia.’

Twilight parks her cart at the edge of the Nerd District. She leaves it and Spike as she heads on alone. She stops at the central hub containing The Power Block, Marvelous Comics and Collectables and, around back, The Saving Throw. She stares up at the darkened second-story windows of The Power Block. Several of the local shop owners see Twilight standing there and wave, not that she notices. There is a set of hoof-falls beside Twilight.

‘You’re going to miss him, too.’

‘Yeah... Wait.’

Twilight looks over to see Pinkie standing beside her.

‘Pinkie... I...’

Pinkie looks over and gives a halfhearted smile. ‘Can you ever forgive me?’

‘I’m the one that should be asking for your forgiveness. All the mean things I said out of anger. ... And hurting Inkie...’

‘That doesn’t matter now. I was seeing your coltfriend behind your back. You had good reason to be mad at me. You won’t have to worry about stupid Pinkie anymore though.’

Twilight looks away. ‘Right... I am going to miss everypony when I am back in Canterlot...’

‘I am going to miss all of you when I am back on the farm.’

‘Pinkie!’ Twilight gasps.

‘You’re right, Twilight. I am nothing but trouble. Inkie and I are going back home where we can’t hurt anypony anymore.’

‘But I am the one who is leaving. Since I came here, Ponyville has been attacked by Nightmare Moon, Discord, mythical beasts, parasprites, and... me...’

Pinkie shakes her head. ‘No. Most of those weren’t your fault. And that whole Smarty Pants thing was because I failed at being your friend. Just like when Applejack tried leaving. My quirks forced her to feel bad and drove her away... And I pushed Flutters into becoming New Fluttershy, too...’

‘Pinkie! You’re a great friend! You make everypony smile all of the time! I am the one buying everypony off with Gala tickets or special trips to Canterlot for a party. Hell, I forced everypony to rebuild the entire town because I was foolish enough to play with time travel magics.’

‘You did all of those things because you care about everypony. Just think if that big meanie dragon was around and you weren’t there to help us get the courage to get him to leave. Or if you weren’t around to organize Winter Wrap Up.’

‘Or if you weren’t here to warn everypony with your Pinkie Sense. Or if you didn’t throw everypony huge birthday parties.’

Both mares exchange a brief smile before sighing.

‘This town is too good for us,’ they moan.

‘Now, where in the hay do y’all get that idea?’

Twilight and Pinkie look up to see all of their friends standing behind them. Spike and Inkie have also joined them. The rest of the group have friendly smiles.

‘I may not be an egghead,’ Rainbow starts, ‘but even I can tell you are using bad logic.’

‘But we hurt all of you!’ Twilight protests.

‘We don’t deserve friends like you.’ Pinkie adds.

‘Don’t be so dramatic, darling.’ Rarity waves a hoof at her friends. ‘We’re friends. We forgive each other.’

‘Although you were pretty scary...’ Fluttershy adds. ‘Please don’t be scary again. I know how bad being scary can hurt your friends.’

Twilight and Pinkie look down and kick at the ground. ‘Can you ever forgive us?’

‘I think there is somepony each of you should ask first, dearies.’ Rarity replies.

Twilight and Pinkie look at each other. They stare into each others’ eyes as all of the events of the past few days play back before them. Then the events of the past few weeks. Then months. Then years. The two mare do everything in their power to hold back tears, but ultimately fail when they embrace each other in a tearful hug. Pinkie’s hair poofs back to normal as soon as her forelegs are around Twilight.

‘Please forgive me, Pinkie. You are the best friend anypony can ever have.’

‘No, Twilight. You are the cutest, smartest, all around bestest pony. You’re my bestestest friend I have ever had!’

‘Awww!’ All of Twilight and Pinkie’s friends coo.

‘I knew my girls would figure it out eventually.’

Twilight and Pinkie snap around and see James’ smiling face greeting them. Behind him, Rei and Lucas are standing by the shop. James waves his fillyfriends in for a hug, which they do not even hesitate to take advantage of.

‘I thought you were gone! You said you were leaving!’ Twilight cries.

‘I did leave,’ James answers. ‘We left the orchard and came home. Rei passed right out as soon as she got to her bed.’

‘Yeah!’ Rei chimes in. ‘I would never want to leave my lovely Inkie-chan!’

Inkie blushes. Lucas moans. Rei turns to Lucas.

‘I like you too,’ Rei leans up and kisses Lucas.

Twilight moans. ‘You and your tricky wording.’

‘You’re not mad at us?’ Pinkie whimpers.

‘You bet your ass I am.’ James replies. The two mares moan. ‘I asked the two of you to watch Rei because I wanted you to learn to get along and not let something stupid like who is dating who get in the way of the love we all have for each other. Fillyfriend and coltfriend are just stupid titles. I wanted you to look beyond that and realize that this world can get a lot farther if we can all learn to be open about our love.’

Twilight and Pinkie nod as they ponder what was just said.

‘That, and I didn’t want to walk all the way to Sweet Apple Acres to ask Applejack. She was my first choice to watch her, you know.’

Twilight and Pinkie half nod. ‘Wait. What?’

James turns down the street. ‘Does that count as a friendship report? I don’t want to write another one as long as I live.’

The others look to see Celestia walk out of a back alley.

‘That will do, Mr Wanderer.’ Celestia turns to Twilight and Pinkie. ‘Twilight Sparkle. Pinkie Pie. I know you just learned a valuable lesson about friendship and more importantly about love, but I still wish to speak with the two of you.’

‘Yes, princess,’ both ponies mumble.

‘Good. I’ll be waiting in the library for you two.’ Celestia starts trotting away. She turns and smiles. ‘I’ll take care of your belongings too. Come along, Spike.’

Celestia levitates the two carts full of belongings and continues down the street with Spike behind her. The rest of the group rushes in to hug their friends. Inkie makes her way around to Rei and gets a hug of her own. The happy scene is broken up by a blue police box materializing in the street. The spiky-haired, bow-tie-less version of The Doctor sticks his head out.

‘James! There you are!’ The Doctor calls. ‘I just found the perfect quark star for your research. Come quick!’

James breaks from the group. He gives Twilight and Pinkie a kiss each.

‘Sorry. Science calls.’

James gallops off to join The Doctor. The rest of the group starts breaking from the hug. Twilight clears her throat.

‘Everypony, I have something important to say. This whole mess was perpetuated because I was unwilling to share the pony I love with somepony who loves him as much as I do. I do not want a repeat of this disaster, so I promise you that if you that if you love anypony I care for as well, be it James or my brother or Spike, I will not get jealous or try and stand in the way of your feelings.’

‘Hear, hear!’ Rarity cheers. ‘You have to share. You have to care.’

‘That’s what I said!’ Pinkie yells.

All of the friends laugh at the situation. Applejack nervously taps Twilight on the shoulder.

‘Uh, Twi... Ah have t’ tell ya somethin’...’

Bonus Scene

Author's Note

Hopefully if Twilight or Pinkie ever have foals, they don't get the treatment Rei got...

TWP Timeline: James gets some hints about possible events in his future.

Current TWP Love Triangle: Twilight vs Luna vs Pinkie vs Fluttershy vs Applejack (vs Octavia)

Story Event: From this chapter on, The Wandering Physicist is referred to as James instead. It was more of a move to keep me from having to write the name so many time per chapter.

Also, this was the first chapter to get a bonus scene. Every previous bonus scene was written after this chapter and added then.

Trio ad Libitum

Main Characters: Octavia, Lyra, Silver Fox
Cameos:Sugar Cloud, Rei, Inkie, Vinyl Scratch, Archibald Skybound
Original Write Date: 04/08/2012

A hooded and robed figure jumps across the Ponyville rooftops at night. It runs at full speed on only its hind legs. It makes its way from building to building with stunning aerial acrobatics. No wings are visible through the white robe nor is a horn sticking from the hood. All of the impressive stunts are done by an earth pony.

The mysterious earth pony leaps a large gap between two buildings and lands with just one leg still in the air. The pony lowers itself and gallops to the edge of the building and jumps to the next one. It looks around and goes to the side of the building. It looks over the side. It turns its back to the edge and falls off.

The hooded pony catches itself on a ledge and pulls itself through a window. It looks around the room and finds a pony sleeping in his bed. The mysterious pony trots around the bed and looks at the pony laying there. It leans out from its robe, exposing its muzzle, and kisses the dreaming pony. The sleeping pony moans and sits up.

James blinks as he looks around his room. He thought somepony was in the room. He gets his sonic from his bedside and scans the room. There is nopony else present. James shrugs and goes back to sleep.

The hooded pony looks across the gap between The Power Block and Ponyville Programming. The pony smiles, jumps off the building and trots away.

The key to a great cup of coffee starts with the beans. Fresh ground beans are a must. Without fresh ground beans, you just have odd-flavored hot water. And it must, must be served with fresh baked pastries. The best barista in Equestria insists on those points, and she cannot be wrong.

Octavia gives a content sigh as she sips her coffee. She might be kilometers from home, but that does not mean she cannot have a good cup of coffee in the morning. Fortunately, Trixie always has a large stock of the finest beans in the world at her apartment in Ponyville, even if the branded mugs are a bit much. Octavia has been staying at Trixie’s apartment while in Ponyville on some business.

Octavia finishes her coffee and heads out of the apartment to get her fresh pastries from Sugarcube Corner. She is immediately confronted by a number of large boxes blocking most of the walkways. Before Octavia can turn and leave via the wagon-port, she hears her voice called out.

‘Ohayo! Tavi-tan!’

Octavia shudders. ‘I am older and taller than you. Don’t use that damn suffix.’

Rei pouts as she flies past with a box on her back. ‘Aww! Tavi-tan is grumpy.’

Rei sets the box with the others then disappears in a flash. Inkie sticks her head out of the next door apartment.

‘Was Rei here?’ Inkie asks. ‘She is helping me move, and she is bringing my boxes faster than I can get them in.’

Octavia stares at Inkie. ‘You’re the kid that helped Trixie on the cruise, right?’

‘Right. I’m Inkie Pie.’ Inkie smiles. ‘I’m your new neighbor.’

‘Uh... Actually, I am just staying here on business. I’m just borrowing the place from Trixie.’

‘You know Trixie-sama, Tavi-tan!’

Rei pins Octavia to the ground and grins into the grey pony’s face. Octavia tries to get up from under the smaller pony, but Rei is carrying one of Inkie’s boxes and the added weight is too much.

‘Yes,’ Octavia growls. ‘I know Trixie, Rei. Now let me up!’

Rei performs a hip thrust and tosses the box to Inkie. She backs up and helps Octavia to her hooves. Octavia looks the fillies over.

‘Why is she moving anyway?’ Octavia asks.

Inkie frowns and goes back into her apartment.

Rei frowns. ‘Twilight got all meanie on us recently. She is nice again, but Inkie-chan needed a change.’ She smiles. ‘Inkie-chan gets to have her own place now! And so near me too! Isn’t that great?’

Octavia forces a smile. ‘That is gr...’

Octavia’s stomach growls. She closes her now twitching eyes. Rei keeps smiling at the older pony. Inkie pops back outside.

‘Don’t worry, Miss Octavia.’ Inkie grins. ‘My sister will take care of that for you. Don’t forget to smile!’

Octavia grumbles louder than her stomach and makes her way towards breakfast and the rest of her day.

Near midnight in Ponyville is when most good ponies are asleep. Some good ponies prefer to stay up late. The residence at The Power Block is full of those sorts of good ponies. James is currently having his weekly gaming night with Twilight and Selene. This week, Selene brought her new friend Cloudchaser with her. The four ponies are having a fun time hanging out and playing games. Rei is celebrating Inkie’s move by staying over at her friend’s apartment.

Outside The Power Block, a pony of questionable morals clings to the side of the building. The pony has an easier time then most since Lyra uses her magic to help her keep her balance. She uses her free hooves to take notes on the ponies inside the building.

‘Interesting hobby you have.’

Lyra looks up to see the hooded pony from the previous night standing on the opposite side of the window. The mysterious pony has both forelegs and hind legs crossed as it stands against the wall.

‘About time I see you,’ Lyra grumbles. ‘I figured you’d show up after I heard you were in town.’

‘I have a business proposal for you.’

Lyra turns back to the window. ‘No deal.’

‘Selene’s secret identity?’

‘Luna.’

‘Amy?’

‘Celestia. I should know.’ Lyra taps her head. ‘She is the one who wiped my mind seven times.’

The group in the residence cheers at the game.

‘Rei’s real parents?’

Lyra turns to the hooded pony. ‘Do you know how long I have been trying to find that out?’

The mysterious pony extends a clothed and gloved hoof in front of the window. Lyra reaches over, and they shake on the agreement.

When shopping for candy, quality always wins against quantity. In Ponyville, the best place to buy candy is Bon Bon’s Confectionary. Make sure you get there early or else all of the good stuff will be bought.

Lyra kicks her hind legs on her desk as she does some work on her laptop. She uses her magic to type away while her hooves are busy playing her lyre. She starts humming a tune to her music. A bag of candy lands on the desk.

‘You are rich enough to move back home and open a shop for her. You could make your investment back in less that a quarter.’

Lyra stops her playing. ‘You couldn’t handle the competition if I returned.’

Octavia laughs as she trots around the desk and sits in the same manner as Lyra.

‘Great to see you again, Lyra,’ Octavia greets.

‘It has been too long, kid,’ Lyra replies. ‘What brings you to my neck of the woods?’

‘I have a collab project in mind. I want the best. You in?’

Lyra leans back and plucks her lyre. ‘I’ll have to ask the wife, but it sounds interesting. Anypony else in this project of yours?’

‘I have one in mind, but we’ll have to ask in the next few days or we might miss our chance.’

‘Hmm. Then I better do a good job convincing the wife.’

Octavia glances at the bag and taps it with her hoof. Lyra levitates the bag to her and opens it. She pulls out a small card. She smirks.

‘Just don’t hurt me as bad as she asks,’ Octavia laughs.

Don’t let anypony tell you that Ponybucks is bad coffee. They obviously have never been to the one run by Sugar Cloud. Whenever I am in the area, I always stop in for a brew. It is so delicious. I need some right now!

Octavia and Lyra trot into a Ponybucks to get off the street. The shop is empty except for a lone white pegasus working the counter. Octavia and the pegasus smile and wave at each other.

Lyra looks over the menu. ‘Your dedication to coffee is only matched by your dedication to the cause of your hangovers.’

‘Be nice.’ Octavia scolds. ‘Besides, Sugar Cloud here is the best barista on the planet. Isn’t that right?’

Sugar Cloud blushes and tries to hide. ‘I don’t really know about that...’

Octavia goes to the counter. ‘I keep telling you to stop being so modest. Anyway, I’ll have the usual and your freshest pastries.’

‘Yeah. I’ll just have a cappuccino,’ Lyra says.

‘Right away,’ Sugar Cloud cheers as she gets to work.

Octavia and Lyra find a table and sit. Lyra looks out of the windows at the passing crowds.

‘What do you think?’ Octavia asks.

‘I think her publicist is really rude.’ Lyra snorts. ‘Saying she doesn’t have time to even meet with us. What a lie.’

‘We’ll just have to ask her directly then, won’t we?’

Sugar Cloud arrives with the drinks and starts setting them on the table. Octavia gets an idea.

‘Sugar Cloud? Has Silver come by here lately?’

Sugar Cloud stops to think. ‘Well... I have seen her late at night and early in the morning, but she isn’t too talkative then.’

‘When is she ever?’ Lyra groans as she takes a sip of her coffee.

‘Sorry I can’t be more of a help,’ Sugar Cloud says.

‘You’ve helped plenty.’ Octavia smiles at her friend.

Lyra slams her cup down on the table. ‘This is too good! More coffee! I must get my hands on more! MORE!’

Sugar Cloud scurries away to get Lyra more coffee before the unicorn does something crazy. Octavia laughs and sips her coffee.

‘Happens to every n00b.’

A pegasus dressed all in black with its face covered in a matching black mask creeps along the ceiling of an art gallery.

‘No upward facing cameras to watch for pegasi,’ the pegasus whispers into a recording device.

The pegasus rounds a corner and creeps down another hall.

‘Gap in the coverage on the north hall large enough to hide a manticore.’

The pegasus stops and looks up at the floor. A large earth pony in a security guard uniform is sleeping against the wall.

‘Fire Night Eyes.’

The pegasus continues forward and enters a large, domed display room with a display case holding a golden statue of Celestia. The pegasus scans the room.

‘IR and UV lasers on the ground and ceiling. Good. Pressure-sensitive locks on the windows. Oh! And magically-shielded electrical boxes. Nice touch. Hmm... Pressure and heat sensitive glass on the case. Not too hard to beat with the right tools. I think the curator will like a nice paperweight for his office in the morning.’

The pegasus plants a tether on the wall where it is standing. It creeps around the room and plants three more. With the tethers in place, the pegasus starts pulling the lines and aligning itself over the central display case. It looks down at the case to see it empty. The pegasus quickly searches the room and finds an earth pony, hooded in white, holding the statue in a gloved hoof.

‘Great. What do you want?’ The pegasus grumbles.

‘I just want to talk. You never answer my calls, Silver.’

Silver Fox growls from her perch. ‘You are so lucky they don’t have audio on the cameras aimed at you right now.’

‘What cameras? Oh! You mean these?’ The hooded pony drops some loose bolts to the floor. ‘Easy to disable without setting off the alarms.’

‘And I can assume there is a laser blind spot where you are standing.’

‘Rei is doing fine. Her fillyfriend has her own place now. Who knows what they can do when they are there alone.’

Silver steams under her mask. ‘And I wanted to know that why?’

‘Just trying to get a reaction from you.’ The mysterious pony laughs. ‘Will you hear me out yet?’

‘Return the statue, and I’ll listen.’

The hooded pony tosses the statue to Silver. ‘Good. Meet me at the usual place. We’ll be waiting.’

The pony in white disappears into the shadows. Silver places the statue in her bag and starts undoing her lines.

‘Oh!’ The pony calls out. ‘And how is your singing voice?’

There are two schools of thought when it comes to covert operations. One idea is to be as invisible as possible. Don’t stand out in any way. Nopony gives a second glance to the business pony, donut maker or adorable barista. All the better to hide in plain sight. The other school of thought is to make yourself as visible as possible. A famous actress or prominent musician can get more access than a baker. Not to mention the financial and political benefits that come from being famous. Also, when in doubt, press conference.

Octavia, Lyra, and Silver, in her disguise as Vulpe d’Argento, sit in front of microphones as they face the press. All of the photographers present snap away while the reporters jockey to get in position to ask questions. Octavia clears her throat.

‘Thank you all for coming,’ Octavia says into her mic. ‘It is great to see interest in our collaboration project. I am very excited to work with such talented ponies. I am sure you have a number of the questions, so I hope my colleagues don’t mind if I open up the floor.’

All of the reporters raise hooves. Octavia points to one at random.

‘Miss Heartstrings, I thought you were retired. What prompted you to come back to the musical scene?’

Lyra groans. ‘I never retired. I just went on hiatus with my professional career. Yes, I am a teacher now, but I still compose and perform locally. I am not rusty, and these two know it.’

‘Octavia, where did you get the idea to work with them?’

‘Out of dumb luck, Lyra and I performed together on a cruise earlier this year. It was a dream to work with one of the ponies who got me into music. As for Miss d’Argento, we met at a couple social functions. We just needed a time when we were all free to work on this project together.’

‘Vulpe, we know you are a great actress, writer and producer, and now singer?’

‘It is no surprise that I work with a voice coach for my show. She has many times suggested that I take up singing. Who better to take it up with than two of the best?’

‘Cello with vocals? Seriously?’

Octavia growls. ‘I can play other instruments as well! If need be, I can forgo an instrument and record my vocals separately.’

‘Is DJ-Pon3 going to join you on this project?’

‘NO!’ Octavia shrieks.

The other mares at the table giggle at the overreaction. Octavia takes a moment fix her mane and bow tie before returning to the conference.

The trio of ponies are meeting at Octavia’s apartment in Canterlot. Octavia is practicing her cello. Lyra has her lyre out. Silver looks between the other ponies.

‘Well?’ Silver asks.

‘Well, what?’ Lyra replies.

‘Aren’t we supposed to be, you know collaborating on something?’

Lyra leans back in her seat. ‘Actually, I am thinking about some of my compositions. I think some can be adapted for this project. We might have to work on some originals or try to get some works to cover.’

‘I emailed JoColt and asked for permission to use some of his works. I am sure we can work out some sort of licensing deal,’ Octavia adds.

‘I meant our other collab,’ Silver snorts.

‘I am curious about that myself.’ Lyra sets down her lyre.

Octavia stops playing and sets aside her instrument. She trots to the back of her apartment and returns with a folder in her mouth. She drops the folder in front of the other ponies. Lyra uses her magic to open the folder and lift a series of photographs.

‘I intercepted a messenger from Las Pegasus carrying that earlier this week,’ Octavia explains. ‘It seemed big so I made copies...’ She growls. ‘And made his drop. I would have loved to have taken them all out.’

Silver examines a photo. ‘Funds received. Preparations moving forward. Materials being shipped in two weeks.’ She looks up. ‘Our friends we took down a few weeks ago?’

‘They fractured after I eliminated their leader,’ Octavia grins. ‘The remaining pieces are eating each other alive.’

Silver frowns. ‘You really should have a dagger for your cutie mark.’

‘I just like seeing justice being served. Not all of us only take a passive role in Equestria’s safety.’

‘You know I would be in prison in some foreign country if I took a truly active role. Getting our nobles to take a more proactive stance in defense is my best contribution.’

Lyra sets the photos down. ‘Kids. Please. Important business time.’

The others roll their eyes and move in to listen to Lyra.

‘We are dealing with a rich business pony or noble. Likely a pegasus. Whatever is going down will target all of Canterlot. The big boss will be here when it goes down.’ Lyra’s eyes scan the photos rapidly. ‘They are going to try to kill the princesses.’

Silver looks up. ‘How the hell did you get all of that from just that note?’

Lyra looks at Octavia. ‘Whiteboard in the usual place.’

Octavia nods. A whiteboard levitates into the room along with Lyra’s saddlebag. Lyra sets up the whiteboard and starts getting out other papers from her bag.

‘Now, it all started two months ago when...’

There is a loud knock on the door.

‘Tavi! I am coming in! No need to get dressed!’ Vinyl Scratch calls as she walks right into the apartment.

Vinyl looks around the room. Octavia is going over some sheet music with Silver while Lyra writes out some lyrics on the whiteboard. Octavia looks up and scowls at Vinyl.

‘Three of you? Is it my birthday?’ Vinyl grins.

‘Vinyl, what do you want?’ Octavia snorts.

‘Well, I caught your little press conference, and I knew you were only joking. I’m here to help!’

All three ponies look at Vinyl, turn to each other, then back to Vinyl. Lyra quickly writes out a list and levitates it to Vinyl.

‘What is this?’ Vinyl asks.

‘Coffee run.’ Octavia answers. ‘Ponybucks please. Make sure it is Sugar Cloud or else we’re sending you back. I can tell.’

‘Aww man!’ Vinyl groans.

Vinyl grumbles and leaves the apartment. As soon as the door closes, the trio sighs and Lyra places several papers on the whiteboard.

‘Now. As I was saying...’

Octavia and Silver stare at Lyra and the whiteboard. It is covered in papers and lines going every direction. Lyra levitates another paper to the whiteboard.

‘...and this brings us to the disappearance of my precious piece of cake in relation to an alleged parasprite infestation.’

‘Stop!’ Octavia commands. ‘You were done two hours ago. We should have sent you for coffee instead.’

‘I feel stupider. I literally feel a lot stupider right now.’ Silver rubs her temples. ‘I would read something to get smarter again, but I think I forgot how to read.’

Lyra sits and crosses her forelegs. ‘You three are the worst audience since Bon Bon told me I was crazy for thinking Pinkie’s blood was really chocolate syrup.’

Silver groans. ‘And you brought her in because...’

‘Wait. Did she say three?’ Octavia asks.

Octavia and Silver turn to see Vinyl sitting across the room.

‘Waiting for her shift was boring,’ Vinyl complains. ‘Can you go back to the part of the fire-breathing, mind-controlled, robotic spiders? That was the best part.’

A cello bow shoots past Vinyl’s head. Some electric blue hairs fall to the floor.

‘How much of that did you hear?’ Octavia growls.

Vinyl shakes nervously where she sits, but her trademark grin slowly appears.

‘Have you picked out a sound engineer for your recording project yet?’

There are many great places to hide a body in the city...

Having successfully bought off Vinyl for the time being, the trio starts planning their next move. Octavia is slowly putting on her robes and equipment while Lyra lays out a map. Silver joins the group in a full stealth suit.

‘Bit of an upgrade from the little catsuit you had the other night.’ Lyra comments.

‘I figure I should go all out if we’re in the big city now,’ Silver replies while making an adjustment to the suit.

Lyra smirks. ‘Looks like you seem to like it though.’

Silver looks back at her erect wings. ‘It is custom fitted so I can fly as if I were wearing nothing at all. The only way that works is if I keep my wings ready at all times. I have gotten used to it over time.’

‘Does it help if you think of James’ kid?’

‘I have no idea who you are talking about.’

Octavia fits an foreleg guard over her right foreleg. ‘She means Rei.’

The sound of Silver’s suit stretching is heard. The two earthbound ponies laugh at the pegasus’ reaction. Silver turns away from the others. Lyra tilts her head to the side.

‘From this angle, I bet Rei would get the same reaction.’

‘Shut up!’ Silver snaps. ‘You’re embarrassing me!’

Octavia checks her foreleg guards to make sure they are tightly secured. ‘Good idea. We have to plan our first target. Who has the best security in the city?’

‘Princess Luna,’ Silver answers. ‘She is the only one that has implemented all of my security recommendations. With the exception of any possible holes I may have left, her wing of the palace is secure.’

‘How about best security, excluding the palace?’

‘Oh, the rest of the palace isn’t even on the top ten.’

Silver looks over the map and thinks. Octavia fits her chest plate over her inner robe.

‘If we are serious about potential pegasus threats...’ Silver points on the map. ‘Skybound Tower. The place is built like a fortress. It is also the biggest employer of private security contractors after Prince Blueblood’s estate. Oh. And the security are all pegasi.’

‘Archibald Skybound? That pony is a saint.’ Octavia says. ‘I met him when he opened the new music school for underprivileged foals last year. He practically bleeds money when it comes to helping others.’

‘He also owns half of Las Pegasus,’ Lyra comments. She looks at the others. ‘At least that is the legal amount he is known to own.’

‘Right. That makes him worth at least checking out.’ Octavia throws her hood over her head. ‘Avante!’

Octavia and Lyra are sitting on a roof. Lyra has her binoculars out and is watching a large skyscraper. Octavia is playing with the hidden blades in her foreleg guards.

‘Is she done yet?’ Octavia moans.

‘She just got to the security room. Give her some time,’ Lyra replies.

Octavia groans and pulls her hood back. ‘This is so boring. You guys do this all the time?’

‘Our special, uh, hobbies involve watching others for long periods of time. We don’t just drop from the ceiling and leave a mess for the cleaning lady the next day.’

‘That’s not fair!’

‘Fine. It is not always a lady.’

Octavia snorts and goes back to playing with her blades. Lyra sets down her binoculars and turns to face Octavia.

‘Sorry. I forget it must be hard since you’re the youngest of the group.’

‘What!’ Both of Octavia’s blades snap out. ‘That is a lie and you know it!’

‘Well, her official bio says...’

‘I am older than her by five months... four months ten days... I’m not a filly anymore...’

‘Octavia Philharmonica. The most sought-after classical musician since her mother. The height of poise and dignity. Not even two Pinkie Pie rampages can keep you down. Why do you get so hung up about your age?’

Octavia retracts her blades. She looks over Lyra to the building. ‘Looks like you have a call.’

Lyra turns and sees a light flashing. She levitates a pen and jots some notes on a pad. The light stops.

‘Looks like we have some intel. Ready for more fun?’

Octavia groans and gets up. ‘I’ll make my own fun.’

Octavia runs to the edge of the building and jumps off. Lyra watches the fall until Octavia disappears in the darkness.

‘Kids these days.’

Octavia sips a cup of fresh-brewed coffee as she rounds her kitchen table to join Lyra and Silver at a laptop. Lyra is typing away using her magic.

‘Anything good? Do I have a target yet?’ Octavia asks.

‘Not really getting anything yet...’ Lyra replies. ‘Might have to farm out the hacking...’

Silver rolls her eyes. ‘Excuse me for not going after unencrypted files, but I doubt we really care about custom document headers.’

‘Yeah. I’m definitely emailing him. Put Tavi’s name on this and get it back in less than a hour.’

‘Wait. Who are you...’

‘Sent!’

Octavia winces. ‘I hate you and him so much right now.’

An email is received on Lyra’s laptop. Lyra giggles. Octavia groans and turns away. Silver looks over.

‘To Octy, with love, from James?’ Silver looks up. ‘Octy? James?’

‘He’s an ass. Ignore him.’

‘Literally or... Wait! Rei’s dad. I remember.’ She tries retracting her wings, but her stealth suit is still on. ‘I thought you were into unicorns, not pegasi.’

Lyra resumes typing. ‘He’s neither, and she has yet to pay up my end of this venture so don’t ask for the details.’

‘Right. Rei’s great aunt’s second cousin twice removed was a pegasus. Makes perfect sense.’ Silver pauses to think. ‘Who in Luna’s name is the mother?’

‘Think that’s bad. His main fillyfriends are only a few months older than you,’ Lyra mentions.

Silver points at Octavia. ‘You told!’

‘Oh please. You hide your... everything! I have that one little piece of real you and nothing else. You’re afraid of ponies finding out who you are.’

‘Maybe I have something to hide. Something to protect. Ever think of that?’

‘Girls! Stop fighting and look at this.’ Lyra leans back from the screen.

Octavia and Silver look over. Their eyes go wide with alarm.

‘This can’t be true. Not there. So many...’ Octavia stammers.

Silver plops down on the floor, hard. ‘Who the hell do we call for this?’

Lyra tents her hooves and sighs. ‘Girls, the ponies we call for this... are us.’

Octavia backs away. ‘I don’t believe it. It can’t be true. I am going there in the morning. There is no way he would do that.’

Octavia gallops out of the room. Lyra leans back and looks for her friend.

‘I put a bow tie with a web cam on your dresser. Please wear that one.’

Playing an instrument like a cello or a double bass has many benefits. First of all, ponies who play a musical instrument are known to be smarter and do better in school. Being valedictorian is proof of that. Also, a large instrument makes for a good workout if you have to carry it everywhere. Ponies with a weak back need not apply. Best of all, a large, heavy case makes a perfect hiding place for a chest plate, a pair of foreleg guards with hidden blades built into them, hind leg armor, a light rapier and two layers of white robes. Just the essentials.

Octavia calmly walks into a school with her cello case on her back. Her well-known ponysona proceeds her as she gets stares from students and teachers alike. She heads straight to the main office.

‘Excuse me. Who do I see about doing a free show or two?’

Octavia sets down her cello bow and returns to standing on all four legs. She stretches her neck and back. The class she was performing for heads to lunch. A number of students look back and thank Octavia for the performance. The teacher approaches Octavia.

‘Thank you for the performance. That was wonderful.’

Octavia sits. ‘Thank you. It is an honor to play for the students.’

‘Is there anything you need? It is the lunch hour now.’

‘Thank you, but I had a large breakfast. Just give me a moment to rest.’

The teacher bows and leaves Octavia alone in the classroom. By the time the classroom door closes, there is nopony in the room. For once, Octavia is thankful for her size given the tight fit in the air ducts. She makes her way to an empty room and drops to safety, taking a moment to straighten her bow tie and hook a bluetooth headset to her ear.

‘This thing on?’ Octavia says to herself.

Loud and clear. Your timing was off by about an eighth of a second. You need to practice more.

‘And your harp is out of tune.’

Octavia winces at the harsh feedback. She starts looking around the school. She dodges teachers, staff and the odd student as she searches from room to room.

Plans say it is under the school.

‘Quiet. I just...’

Your precious school could be ground zero. Silver cuts onto the line. Just get your worst fear confirmed so we can go to dinner.

Octavia growls and finds a stairwell. She heads down and starts looking around. She finds and unmarked room.

‘Looks like it.’

Learn to read a blueprint. Two steps left.

Octavia takes two steps left and groans. ‘PE equipment? Really?’

For a school with no fields of any sort?

Octavia closes her eyes. ‘I really hope they have a killer ballet program.’

Want to choose a different word?

Octavia growls and opens a room. Before her are two vats of liquid connected at the middle by a pump. Inside the vats are several stones that appear to be magically-reactive, likely to make the potential explosion even bigger. She calmly closes the door and marches away.

Just arrived two days ago. First of many.

Octavia rips the headset from her ear and clips it on her bow tie. ‘I am going to kill that stallion!’

When meeting with the enemy, it is best not to let him know you are on to him. It is even better not to let him know you are his enemy. That way, he doesn’t suspect when you throw him from a three story building. ... Wait. No. This one is a pegasus. ... Break his wings first.

Octavia is putting her cello back in the case at the end of the school day. The door to the classroom she was assigned opens and a pale yellow pegasus with a short, sky blue mane enters. He smiles at Octavia. She looks up and smiles back. Her hoof starts working its way into the handle for her rapier.

‘Octavia! So good to see you!’

‘Thank you, Mr Skybound.’ Octavia bows slightly. ‘I hope you don’t mind me showing up unannounced.’

‘Not at all! But I would have guessed you would be busy with your new project.’

‘We are still waiting on some song licenses,’ Octavia explains. ‘Not to mention Lyra and I are working on some original compositions. I just needed a breather to think out some ideas and felt it would be fun to share my joy with others while I did so.’

‘Oh. Anytime. It is greatly appreciated. I just hope your concert next week is still on.’

Octavia covers the urge to scowl with a big smile. ‘They would have to blow up the symphony to keep me from missing a performance.’

Skybound laughs. ‘Great. That is why you and your mother are the best.’ He sighs. ‘It is a shame I will miss it. My nephew will be in town that day for the Wonderbolt Derby. He has a race with them too. He is going to blow them all away.’

‘Not if Fleetfoot is flying again.’

‘I wouldn’t worry about her.’ Skybound smirks. ‘She’ll be dust under his wings.’

Octavia laughs and uses her free hoof to steady her rapier before she can draw it. Skybound checks a watch on his leg.

‘Oh. Dang. I have to go. I just wanted to thank you for coming in today. I know the kids loved it.’

‘It is my pleasure. I would hate for anything bad to happen to this school.’

Skybound nods. ‘Me too. I would hate to see the dreams on these foals crushed.’ He bows to Octavia and turns to leave. ‘We really must do this again sometime. Goodbye, Miss Octavia.’

Skybound closes the door behind him. Octavia contains a scream and kicks a hole in the floor with one of her back legs.

Forget him. Just get back here. We have to plan our next move.

Octavia slams her cello case shut and hefts it on to her back. She marches out of the room as fast as she can.

Back at Octavia’s apartment, the trio stare at a map of Canterlot. There are nine locations circled. One of them is the school Octavia visited. Another is the pegasus racetrack. A third is Canterlot Palace. Octavia’s eyes dart all over the map as she imagines the quickest paths to each location. Lyra sighs and plops to the ground.

‘It is no use.’ Lyra states. ‘All of the bombs are wirelessly linked. If we take one out, the rest go all at once. If we go to the authorities, they will make a mess of things, and he could just set them off early. We need to disarm nine bombs simultaneously.’

‘What if we strike now? He can’t have more than three bombs in place.’ Silver says.

Lyra shakes her head. ‘No. I would need at least a day, maybe two, to figure out how to do it without using magic. In that time, who knows how many more can be set?’

Silver notes something about the pattern. ‘He is leaving the poorer areas untouched. Most of the bombs are set where there are larger concentrations of unicorns.’

Lyra points to one of the circles. ‘My house is a few blocks from that one. If I am reading the bomb schematics correcty, my parents will be vaporized before they know what was going on.’

Silver shakes her head. ‘That is horrible. To think one of my tribe would do this. I think I am going to be sick.’

‘Keep it off the carpets,’ Octavia says. ‘I just had them cleaned before we returned.’

‘I think that won’t matter in just over a week!’ Silver shouts back.

‘That is why we are going to take out all of the bombs at once. One quick blow. Not one innocent life will be lost, and Skybound will face the justice he deserves!’

Lyra and Silver look at their friend.

‘And how do we do that?’ Silver asks.

Octavia smiles and looks to Lyra. ‘I need to borrow your surveillance notes. We need to recruit a super hero.’

Bonus scene

Author's Note

Trio ad Libitum Duology part 1

Sugar Cloud appears with permission from the Ask Sugar Cloud tumblr.

Story Timeline: First appearance of The Trio ad Libitum. First appearance of the Skybound family.

Story Event: Diving into the gritty underbelly of Equestria a little here. Dealing with spies, thieves and assassins and their efforts to protect Equestria from itself and from others. The real action does not start until the next chapter, so hold on.

Fun fact: Having Octavia narrate the chapter was inspired by watching way too much Burn Notice before writing

Mare Do Well Rises

Main Characters: Octavia, Lyra, Silver Fox, Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, TWP
Cameos:Sugar Cloud, Rei, Inkie, Vinyl Scratch, Archibald Skybound, Lucas, Kaeko, Mr and Mrs Sparkle, Stormy, Celestia, The Doctor (10), Derpy, CMC, Trixie, Nurse Redheart
Original Write Date: 04/16/2012

Twilight takes a sip of her coffee while she checks the morning news on her laptop. Spike yawns and comes downstairs as Owlowiscious flies up to go to sleep for the day. The young dragon picks up a newspaper and starts reading.

‘Print media is dead,’ Twilight says as she clicks a link.

Spike folds his paper down. ‘Says the pony who lives in a library.’

‘Well, obviously not books. Books are eternal. In fact, on my last date with James, he took me to The Library. It is a library so big it doesn’t have a name. Just a big “The”!’ Twilight sighs contently. ‘He is the greatest pony to have ever...’

‘Twilight! Look at this!’

Spike shoves the newspaper into Twilight’s face. Twilight growls and levitates the paper so she can read it. Her eyes go wide. She sets the paper down and starts using her magic to type.

‘Spike, get the rest of the group. I think somepony is sending us a message.’

All of Twilight’s friends have gathered in the library to go over what Twilight has found. Twilight has a map of Canterlot on the table with seventeen pins in it. The friends are giving both the map and pony confused looks.

‘See. Do you get it?’ Twilight asks.

‘You’ve been hitting the cider, haven’t you?’ Rainbow Dash replies.

‘Come on! It is so obvious,’ Twilight protests.

The others stare at Twilight. Rarity catches something. She looks from Twilight to the map and back up.

Rarity levitates a marker. ‘You could have done this for the benefit of others who are not as detailed oriented as I am.’

Rarity draws in a six-pointed star on the map and another under it. All of the others look at the star and up at Twilight’s cutie mark.

‘OH!’ They all say.

‘Now do you see why we have to get to Canterlot as soon as possible?’ Twilight asks.

‘Not really.’ Applejack shrugs.

Twilight groans. She levitates over her laptop and shows them the screen. Centered on it is a picture of a poster of Mare Do Well from the time when they had to teach Rainbow Dash a lesson about humility. With the poster are several confused-looking ponies. Rainbow Dash crosses her forelegs and turns away.

‘You have to rub that in my face, don’t you?’

‘No, Rainbow, not that,’ Twilight growls. ‘Don’t any of you read the news in the morning?’

The others look away from Twilight.

‘I, uh, read the article on the Mare Do Well posters,’ Fluttershy speaks up.

‘Finally!’

‘But I didn’t really understand what it means.’

Twilight groans and drops her head. ‘It means that somepony is sending us a message! It means somepony needs Mare Do Well’s help!’

‘Looks like they are asking just for you, princess,’ Rainbow Dash shoots.

‘Using my cutie mark was a surefire way to get my attention. It was how the pony in question knew we’d listen. It is also a clue as to where to meet them.’ Twilight connects the points of the stars before anypony can say something. All of the lines cross at one point. ‘By using these Mare Do Well posters and my cutie mark, the pony is saying she knows we played her and needs all of our help. We have to go.’

‘Ah guess it wouldn’ hurt t’ check it out.’

‘I’m in for an adventure!’ Pinkie cheers.

‘Wait. Does that mean I get my own costume too now?’ Rainbow Dash asks.

‘I’ll sew it on the train ride, deary,’ Rarity sighs.

‘Yes! All right! I’m a real superhero now!’ Rainbow Dash starts dancing. ‘Better clear a shelf now, Twilight. Daring Do is about to get some company.’

All the others groan at Rainbow Dash’s reaction.

Four of the six mares watch a large warehouse from a safe vantage point. They are all in their Mare Do Well costumes, even Rarity, but their heads are exposed. Twilight watches the building through binoculars. Pinkie has her hooves up like she is holding binoculars.

‘Doesn’t look like anypony is in there...’ Twilight notes.

‘I agree,’ Pinkie says.

Twilight growls. ‘Looks like there is only one entrance.’

‘Just the one.’

Twilight grits her teeth. ‘Rainbow and Fluttershy can probably sneak in through the skylight on top.’

‘It is that big sky-ie, lighty thing on top.’

Twilight snaps her binoculars in half with her magic. ‘Pinkie! Stop copying me!’

‘But you were saying everything I was about to say but in a smarter way.’

Twilight controls her anger and does not push her friend from their vantage point. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy fly up. They are costumed as well.

‘Looks clear,’ Rainbow Dash reports. ‘If this is the place, there ain’t anypony here.’

‘Either that or they are being very quiet,’ Fluttershy notes.

Rainbow Dash groans. ‘Nopony can be that quiet.’

Fluttershy whimpers and stares down. She kicks at the ground a little. Rainbow Dash sighs.

‘Except you. You’re the world champ.’

Fluttershy replies with a happy squeak. Twilight lifts her mask and places her hat on her head.

‘Okay, girls. Let’s go see what this is about,’ Twilight says. ‘Enter one at a time and spread out. Rainbow, Fluttershy, you enter from the roof.’

‘Through that big sky-ie, lighty thing on top.’ Pinkie adds.

Twilight huffs and flies down from the perch. ‘Let’s just do this.’

The others climb down from the perch. They slip to the entrance swiftly. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy fly to the roof. Twilight does a three count in her head and ducks inside the building. The others follow after short counts of their own. Rarity is the last through the door. She enters the darkened warehouse and quickly scans the room. Rarity spins around at the sound of the door locking. Before she can react, a tub of jelly falls on her, soaking her through the costume.

‘Dear Celestia, I never thought this would happen again.’

Rarity tries to move, but she is stuck.

‘Oh no.’

A sharp blow to the back of the head knocks Rarity unconscious. The attacker unmasks her before she falls, mane first, into the jelly.

‘Rarity!’ Twilight calls.

Twilight moves to help her friend, but all of the lights in the warehouse are activated. Everypony is temporarily blinded as their eyes adjust. A shape swoops from the ceiling and knocks Applejack back.

‘They have airpower!’ Applejack shouts.

‘Well, so do we!’ Rainbow Dash calls as she dives into the room.

Rainbow Dash looks around and quickly finds a pegasus dressed in a grey stealth suit. The other pegasus’ head is covered. Rainbow flies at the mysterious pegasus. The two pegasi fly around the room. Rainbow Dash catches up to her target, but the prey flips upside down and kicks Rainbow Dash in the face, knocking her hat to the ground.

‘Little help here!’ Rainbow Dash yells.

‘Oh!’

Fluttershy flies into action and gains on the unknown pegasus.

‘Twitchy tail!’ Pinkie shouts as she runs into the middle of the room.

A loud dragon’s roar comes over the warehouse’s speakers. Fluttershy tenses up and drops from the sky. She lands right on Pinkie’s back to soften the harsh landing. A rope flies out of nowhere and binds Fluttershy’s legs and wings while she is still scared. A pony runs out on its hind legs and covers Pinkie with the adhesive jelly before she can pick herself up. The new combatant is wearing a white, hooded robe. The grey muzzle of the new pony sticks out from the hood. It looks at Twilight and Applejack, smiles, and motions for them to attack.

Applejack charges forward. A meter from the hooded pony she plants her forelegs and spins. She tries to buck her challenger, but she gets flipped over when the other pony dodges and pushes Applejack’s legs upward. Twilight catches her friend’s fall and helps Applejack right herself.

‘I got your back,’ Twilight calls. ‘Take him down!’

Applejack smirks and goes on the offensive. Every kick she attempts gets dodged or knocked away with ease. Applejack is able to force her opponent backwards and pins the pony against the wall. She takes a moment to line up a knockout blow to the chest and bucks as hard as she can. The hooded pony spins around the attack and chops Applejack in the back of the head. The earth pony drops to the ground like a sack of flour.

‘Applejack!’ Twilight calls.

The hooded pony starts walking towards Twilight. She plants her hooves and readies a spell. Her opponent shakes its head and reaches under its robe. Twilight shoots a light magical bolt at the standing pony, but her target spins out of the way and appears to throw something at her. Twilight closes her eyes and braces for a hit. All she feels is something metallic ring the tip of her horn then slide down its length. She shrugs off the feeling and tries casting a spell. Nothing happens. The alicorn tries harder, but she does not even get the slightest sparks of magic.

‘My magic!’

Another rope shoots from nowhere and ties Twilight’s legs. The hidden unicorn uses its magic to flip Twilight on her back, trapping her wings. The hooded pony stands in the middle of the room and adjusts its robe. Applejack picks herself up. She sees the perfect target. She gallops at the distracted pony and dives in a tackle. Rainbow Dash drops from the air and knocks Applejack unconscious. Lyra steps out of the shadows and uses her magic to tie up Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

‘That was easier than I thought,’ Lyra comments.

Silver Fox lands and pulls off her mask. ‘Really?! You weren’t the one that had to race Rainbow Dash! She’s basically a Wonderbolt!’

‘You won, didn’t you?’

Octavia holds a hoof up. ‘Wait. Where did that crate come from?’

The three ponies turn to see a mysterious crate sitting in the center of the room.

Silver scratches her head. ‘Now where did that...’

The pegasus freezes mid-sentence. Lyra goes over and waves a hoof in front of Silver’s face. Her eyes go wide.

‘We have another unicorn!’

‘On it.’

Octavia runs at the crate and flips over it. There is a filly-ish scream from the other side then silence. Octavia drags Lucas around the crate and drops him next to Applejack.

‘Good distraction,’ Octavia compliments.

‘Arigato gozaimasu,’ Kaeko replies as she stands over an unconscious Lyra. Her nodachi is drawn in her mouth.

Octavia draws a broad sword. ‘Again?’

The two combatants circle each other. Kaeko makes the first swing and knocks Octavia back a step. Octavia hits the longer blade to ground to knock Kaeko off balance.

‘You still fight without honor,’ Kaeko growls.

‘I fight to win, and I do.’

Kaeko makes a series broad slashes, adjusting the grip in her mouth as she goes, to drive Octavia back. Octavia slides under the last attack and kicks Kaeko in the knee. The pegasus slices at the earth pony with a blade mounted under her wing. Octavia rolls away. She swings her sword as she stands on her hind legs to deflect a volley of shuriken.

‘Going to play like that, eh?’

‘Play to win, right?’

‘Right.’

Octavia lifts her left foreleg up. Kaeko falls to the ground. A thin wire connects the appendages. A precision shuriken slices the wire and embeds itself in Octavia’s leg guard. Octavia pulls her right foreleg back. Kaeko screams as she is flipped onto her wing. She flaps her free wing and launches more shuriken. Octavia backflips to dodge the attack. Kaeko lifts herself to her hooves and picks up her sword. The two combatants stare at each other. Octavia smirks and sheathes her sword.

‘Getting sleepy?’

Kaeko tilts her head to the side. She blinks and feels her eyelids get heavy. She looks at the wires around her legs. A strange liquid drops from them.

‘You bitch.’

‘I always win.’

Kaeko falls to the ground. Octavia laughs and walks through the battlefield. Everypony is standing or laying where they were eliminated. Octavia nods to herself.

‘That was fun.’

She walks over and taps Lucas with her hoof. Something strikes her.

‘Wait. If he is here, then...’

Twilight cackles. ‘That’s right.’

Octavia looks around for her target. Four translucent, red walls spring into existence around her. She touches one and receives a shock.

‘Don’t worry, Octy. Cold plasma forcefield. Non-lethal, but highly effective at keeping things in that need to be kept in.’

Octavia drops her hood and looks around. James calmly walks out from the crate. He checks his mobile.

‘Three minutes, forty-two seconds. Getting sloppy, Sparkle.’

‘Just shut up and untie me.’

‘I will, but first.’ He goes over to Octavia. ‘We have to agree to talk like adults and not behave like little fillies.’

There is a sharp ripping sound. James looks down to see one of Octavia’s hidden blades caught in the force field. He shakes his head. She frowns and looks away. She plops to the ground with her hoof still raised with the trapped hidden blade.

James smiles. ‘Good. Now sit tight. I’ll get to you in a moment. Lucas! Get the solvents from the TARDIS, will you?’ He pauses. ‘Right. Unconscious. Sparkle be a dear and...’

Twilight glares from where she is tied up. James just closes his mouth and works on untying his fillyfriend.

Everypony has been freed or recovered from being knocked out. The ponies playing Mare Do Well have their masks off. The Trio ad Libitum apologize profusely for the conflict. Rarity still has some jelly in her mane.

‘Sorry about that,’ Lyra apologizes. ‘Do you need any help cleaning up?’

Rarity sighs. ‘No, no. I have plenty of experience getting nasty goos out of my mane.’

Rainbow Dash falls over laughing. Applejack barely contains a snicker of her own. Rarity growls at her friends. Octavia clears her throat as she moves to the front of the gathered ponies.

‘Again, I apologize for the trick and the attack. We wanted to test you to see if you could handle what we are about to ask of you.’ She glares at James. ‘I just didn’t know you were going to cheat.’

Twilight gasps. ‘I would never cheat on a test.’

Rainbow Dash stops laughing. ‘Yeah. We totally cheated. Showed you!’

Octavia snorts. ‘Anyway. We called you out here because there is a major threat to Canterlot and Equestria as a whole.’

‘Shoot. We handled Chrysalis. Whatcha got?’ Applejack asks.

‘There is a plot in the works to destroy the city and kill the princesses.’

Twilight and her friends gasp. Twilight is surprised when James, Lucas, and Kaeko show no major reaction.

James raises a hoof. ‘Help us out here. Destroy the city by invasion? By zombie plague? By fire-breathing, robotic spiders?’

‘The spider one,’ Lyra replies.

Octavia hits her friend in the back of the head. ‘Actually, it will be with a series of magically-enhanced bombs placed around the city.’

‘Okay. Back up,’ Twilight says. ‘Nopony would ever try to harm another pony intentionally.’

‘Inkie!’ Pinkie coughs.

Twilight growls. ‘Okay, nopony would ever intentionally try to overthrow Celestia.’

‘Hey, do you think I have time to visit Luna while we’re here?’ James asks.

Twilight stomps the ground. ‘Okay! Nopony would ever do what Octavia is saying!’

Lyra sighs. ‘We saw the bombs ourselves. We know exactly where one is planted. We have schematics and locations for all of the remaining eight bombs.’

Fluttershy faints at the mention of how many bombs are hidden.

‘Now hold on a minute,’ Applejack says. ‘Shouldn’ y’all have gone t’ the authorities or the princesses with this infermaton? Why come t’ us?’

‘Normally, we would go to the authorities,’ Silver replies, ‘but with an attack like this, they would only muck things up and potentially get everypony killed. This needs to be done covertly.’

‘That is why we needed you,’ Octavia adds. ‘With us and Mare Do Well, we have as many ponies as we need to disarm all of the bombs and turn them over to the authorities before anypony can be hurt.’ She glances to James. ‘Your backup might come in handy as well.’

‘And if you need more, we have backup too.’ James grins.

Octavia’s eye twitches. ‘You have backup too?’

‘Yeah! The Doctor, Derpy and Trixie are standing by. Behind them, RSI is ready. If all else fails, we can call on the Cutie Mark Crusaders.’

‘What?!’ Applejack and Rarity shriek.

James looks over at the mares. ‘I highly doubt it will come to that.’

‘See that it doesn’t or I am holding you personally responsible,’ Rarity states.

Octavia clears her throat again. ‘If you don’t mind, I would highly enjoy getting this mission over with. I would hate to have my hometown turned into a smoking crater because of some petty bickering.’

‘Yes. I would like to see what evidence you have to back up your claims as well.’ Twilight adds.

Octavia sighs and starts getting out all of the group’s findings.
…

Twilight has all of the evidence laid out in front of her. She reads a paper levitated in front of her. Lyra comes over to answer a question. Everypony else mills about the warehouse while Twilight takes her time being convinced. James has the TARDIS open for everypony to get refreshments and relax. Octavia stands against a wall and watches Twilight. Kaeko trots past. The two mares exchange glares. Lucas notices and trots over to Octavia.

‘What was that?’ Lucas asks.

‘What was what?’

‘You and Kaeko. I have never seen her act cold to anypony. It just seems so unnatural. So...’

‘So me?’

‘I plead the fifth.’

Octavia scowls. ‘We were in training together. The best of rivals. Somepony just doesn’t want to accept when she gets beaten.’

‘Like you with boss.’

Octavie growls. ‘That doesn’t count.’

‘You have a rival with the same talents as you do, but you can’t look past it and pretend to get along in public?’

‘She shaved me bald once.’ Octavia’s scowl intensifies. ‘Nopony messes with my mane.’

‘Oh, geez.’

‘I glued her feathers together in retaliation. It was either pluck or intense pain pulling them apart.’ Octavia gets the creepiest grin. ‘The screaming was beautiful.’

‘My throat was dry for a week because of the screaming.’

Lucas tenses up when he finally senses Kaeko behind him. The pegasus steps past the scared unicorn.

‘None of that would have happened if you just returned my doll,’ Kaeko snarls.

‘She was mine, and you know it. My mom got her for me the day I left for training.’

‘You stole her from my bag while I was called away from the bunk.’

‘I did not! And who cried all night because she wanted the top bunk?’

‘You did! Just because you were a spoiled filly doesn’t mean you get everything given to you now.’

‘Hmpf! So you finally admit that I earned top marks.’

‘You earned nothing. You poisoned my food the night before.’

‘Just because you had really bad gas...’

‘Uh... Maybe you two have deeper issues than...’ Lucas starts saying.

Both mares turn and glares at the stallion. Lucas can literally see how they are going to kill him in their eyes. Kaeko turns away, slapping Octavia in the face with her tail.

‘Shrimp.’

‘Hag.’ Octavia calls back.

‘If it means anything, I am really sorry I asked,’ Lucas says, hoping to repair some damage and add a few minutes to his life.

‘Whatever.’

Lucas breathes a sigh of relief. He turns and makes a quick retreat.

‘Hey!’ Octavia calls.

Lucas looks back.

‘What does he see in her?’ Octavia asks, nodding toward Twilight.

Lucas looks over at Twilight. James is standing behind the unicorn. He makes a joke at her expense, and Twilight literally snaps at him and tries biting his nose. James and Lyra laugh at Twilight’s reaction.

‘I mean, I am about the same size, shape, and age.’ Octavia says as she kicks at the ground. ‘I am smart. I am sophisticated. I speak five languages. I’m athletic, generous, a good cook... cute smile...’

Lucas shakes his head. ‘They are alike. They have a lot of similar interests. The doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you too, but I really have to say that sometimes they are practically the same pony.’

‘Right...’

‘If you want him to notice, do something that makes you stand out and shows you have a special connection. That’s what everypony else he likes has done.’

‘Hmm... Thank you.’

‘No problem.’

Lucas starts trotting away.

‘You know if you tell anypony about either conversation...’

‘I know. I know.’ Lucas groans. ‘Why do you think I learned Reraise?’
…

Rarity comes out of the TARDIS with her mane wrapped in a towel. She frowns when she sees everypony still going over the plans.

‘Still obsessed with that, I see.’

Twilight growls. ‘Rarity. This is important. If there is a threat to the princesses, we have to know all about it.’

‘I just say we throw on our costumes and go. Nothing says “surprise” like a legion of superheroes busting down all of the doors.’

‘I am still not convinced a threat exists.’

‘Darling, no matter how many times you go over the same documents they won’t tell you anything different.’ Rarity taps her chin. ‘Isn’t that a sign of insanity?’

Twilight growls. Lyra shakes her head and points out more details to Twilight. Rarity sighs and rolls her eyes.

‘I hear that,’ Silver says. ‘Lyra said did the same thing when I criticized her plans to “Monitor! Everything!” or some such nonsense.’

‘My word!’ Rarity gasps. ‘Why would anypony want to do that?’

‘Exactly.’

Rarity takes the pegasus in. ‘Miss Silver, was it? I must say that I really love your outfit.’

Silver shows off her suit. ‘Thank you. Custom-made for maximum stealth with the added feature of flight.’

‘It appears you quite enjoy it as well.’

Silver winces. ‘I have to keep my wings ready at all times due to the suit’s design. What about your costumes?’

Rarity tugs on her costume. ‘This? I am quite fond of it myself. One of my more stylistic designs on top of being quite light and functional. Twilight enchanted them with a perception filter spell to help us avoid detection.’

‘Hmm... That might prove useful...’
…

‘As much as I am still mad at you for following me, I am quite impressed with your thoroughness and attention to detail,’ Twilight compliments as she goes through more files.

‘I like your obvious passwords,’ Lyra smiles.

‘What?’

‘Nothing.’ Lyra grins. ‘Are you convinced yet?’

‘One thing bothers me.’ Twilight levitates a paper. ‘You have several needless steps in your instructions for magic-less bomb disposal. Here.’

Twilight gets out a pen and crosses out the steps.

Lyra examines the changes. ‘How the hell..?’

‘Also, this whole section detailing Skybound’s daily schedule seems highly unnecessary. You could have just gone with the times of his meetings and his route to and from work. We really don’t need to know his washroom schedule.’

‘Well, I just wanted to...’

‘Worst of all, that whole section on the parasprite destruction of the town is utter nonsense.’

‘I know right!’ Lyra says. ‘Who would ever believe that?’

‘Actually... That is true...’ Twilight grimaces.

‘Yeah!’ Pinkie cheers. ‘She was all “Magic Missile”, and the parasprites were all “lol nope” so I was all “Irresistible Dance”! Natural twenty! Yay!’

Pinkie starts marching around the room singing her Parasprite luring song. Twilight double facehoofs. Lyra stares at Pinkie as she marches around the room.

‘I can’t believe she is the one who saved the town.’
…

Twilight joins Octavia in addressing the large group.

‘I think we should help them,’ Twilight states.

‘Finally!’ Rainbow Dash cries. ‘We’ve been waiting for you to come on board.’

Twilight growls at her friend. Octavia sets up her map with the targets marked on it.

‘Each of us will have to disarm each of the bombs simultaneously. Since they are all identical, Lyra will walk us through the instructions once we are in place. According to his plans, Skybound is going to strike a few days from now. He also doesn’t have enough security to sacrifice them guarding the bombs,’ Octavia explains.

‘That works in our favor since it means we won’t have to fight anypony to get to the bombs. We just need to be able to find them. We should each pick one to find. After that... Maybe we should stop for the night and get some rest. We will have a long day ahead of us,’ Twilight adds.

Pinkie raises a hoof. ‘Who picks what bomb to target?’

‘We should pick the one in the area we feel most comfortable with,’ Octavia answers. ‘I will be going after the one in the symphony. The others are at the palace, Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, Canterlot University, under a music academy, in the shopping district, in the sewers of an upper class residential area, at the pegasus race tracks, and in the train station.’

‘I should go after the one in the palace,’ Silver says. ‘I know the security there really well.’

‘No,’ Twilight states. ‘I spent a lot of time at the palace growing up. I know it well enough, and my brother will support me if anything bad happens. If all else fails, I can ditch my disguise and make everypony thing it is royal visit. I want to make sure the princesses are safe myself.’

Silver nods. ‘Okay. Then I’ll take the university.’

‘I could never live with myself if the shopping district were damaged,’ Rarity shudders. All of Rarity’s friends groan. ‘Oh. And losing the rest of the city would be bad, too.’

‘I should take Celestia’s school,’ Lyra says. ‘Easier for an unicorn to sneak around there.’

‘Ah don’ mind getting dirty,’ Applejack begins.

‘That’s an understatement,’ Rarity says to herself.

Applejack growls. ‘Which is why Ah don’ mind takin’ the one in the sewer.’

‘I can handle the racetrack,’ Rainbow Dash nods. ‘Might even score some points with The Wonderbolts when I save their lives. Again!’

‘That just leaves the music academy and the train station.’ Octavia says.

Twilight turns to Fluttershy. ‘They know exactly where the one at the academy is hidden. You won’t have to search hard or get too much attention.’

‘I... guess that is okay...’ Fluttershy smiles.

‘Well! I guess that is the train station for me,’ Pinkie states.

‘What about us?’ Lucas asks.

‘We’re going to provide support back here,’ James replies. ‘I can use my TARDIS to drop us where we need to be when we are need. We can also use it to keep in touch with the other backup units.’

Everypony thinks over the plan. Twilight and Octavia look around at their friends.

‘I think it is safe to say we all agree on the plan’ Octavia says.

‘We’ll go over the details in the morning,’ Twilight adds. ‘For now, let’s try to get as much rest as we can.’

James turns to the group. ‘I have rooms in my TARDIS if you want one as well as plenty of food from all over the universe. Uh... Pool, pool hall, pool in a pool hall, a pool hall of pools... Uh, what else?’

Twilight comes over and gives James a nuzzle. ‘That will do. I am going to slip out to see my parents. Just in case...’

‘That is a good idea,’ Octavia agrees. ‘We don’t have to be cooped up here. Let’s say we meet back here around eight in the morning? That should give plenty of time get out and about and get plenty of rest.’

The others murmur in agreement and start looking for ways to relax.

Twilight trots up to a large house. There is a star-shaped crest on the doors. Twilight takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. After a few moments, a blue unicorn stallion answers the door.

‘May I help... Twilight!’

Twilight instantly grabs her father in a big hug. ‘Hi daddy!’

‘Twilight, what are you doing back here? We weren’t expecting to see you until your birthday.’

‘Uh..’ Twilight looks away. ‘My friends and I have some quick business to take care of tomorrow. We split up for the night, and I felt like seeing you and mom again.’

A light grey mare walks up to the door. ‘Twilight! What a surprise.’

Twilight looks up and fights back tears. ‘Mom, dad... You can’t ask why, but I need you to stay home from work tomorrow.’

‘Is something bad going to happen?’ Night Light asks.

‘You know you can tell us anything,’ Twilight Velvet adds.

‘It is...’ Twilight shakes her head. ‘I can’t. Just know that something potentially very bad can happen. Much worse than Shining Armor’s wedding. I just want you to be safe.’

The parents comfort their child and bring her inside to talk.

Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Lyra are in one of the TARDIS’s movie theaters taking in a film. The three are sitting relatively spaced apart due to their viewing habits. Rarity levitates up some popcorn to munch on. A thought occurs, and she levitates her mobile as well. Lyra picks up the other end.

‘Miss Lyra. Why did you not prevent the actions of, say, Nightmare Moon or Chrysalis?’ Rarity asks.

Lyra groans. ‘Ugh. We don’t normally target large, overt threats. All three of us specialize in smaller, covert, single-target threats. We tend to disrupt communications or provide intelligence to the proper authorities.’

‘Oh. I only ask because...’

‘She got to me. Okay! Let’s just leave it at that.’

‘I didn’t mean to bring up a sore subject. My apologies.’

Lyra snorts. ‘Its okay. … If I ever wanted to bring up a sore subject of yours, I’d mention last Thursday.’

Lyra covers her mobile, but she hears Rarity swear quite clearly when she shouts an expletive.

‘Hey! Keep it down, you two!’ Rainbow Dash shouts.

Lyra laughs. ‘You should never have given your IP to a professional spy. By the way, was he ever able to walk straight again?’

A magically-thrown bucket of popcorn hits Lyra in the head.

Vinyl Scratch trots into her bedroom and collapses on her bed. The scattering of blankets reveal that she is in the exact same position she woke from in the morning or afternoon or whenever she got up.

‘And you plan on being my sound engineer with this sort of schedule?’

Vinyl looks up from her bed. Octavia, still in her robe but with her hood down, is sitting on a nearby window sill. Vinyl takes off her sunglasses to get a better look at her friend.

‘Tavi?’ Vinyl asks. ‘Did you do something to your coat?’

Octavia sighs. ‘Good to see you too.’

‘Why are you here? Do you know what time it is?’

‘I have something important to tell you.’

Vinyl groans and snuggles under the blankets. ‘I love you too, but can it wait until morning?’

Octavia blushes. ‘No, that is far from it. I wanted to tell you to stay out of downtown tomorrow.’

‘Why?’

‘It is not important. If what could happen happens, just stay in one of the poorer areas of town until it is over. If it doesn’t happen... meet me at seven in the place where we first met. My treat.’

‘You know it is your treat. You’re the only one with any money.’

Octavia growls. ‘That is because I don’t flitter it away on... whatever it is you waste you money on!’

‘Aw! Tavi. I thought you liked that new old album I got you last month.’

‘Yes, it was very nice.’ Octavia sighs and gets up. ‘Just promise me you’ll be safe tomorrow.’

‘I promise, mom.’

Octavia sighs and trots over to her friend. She gives Vinyl a small kiss on the tip of her horn. The act returns Vinyl’s trademark grin to her face. Vinyl moves around and starts sitting up.

‘When did you start getting so sentimental?’

Vinyl looks around her room once she is up. She is all alone. She sighs, drops back to the bed and levitates her blankets over herself.

James is in the TARDIS control room. He is going over several monitors at once and inputting commands on the control panels. Silver walks out of part of the ship.

‘You should have better security for some of your rooms and displays. They are quite easily broken into.’

‘The golden brooch you have under your wing. Try tossing it out of the ship.’

Silver is surprised at the accusation. She lifts her wing up and flicks the broach hidden under it towards the door. Right when the item crosses the threshold, it disappears. Silver takes a step back.

James laughs. ‘I think my anti-theft system works fine. You’re lucky I was on duty too. She might never have let you get this far under normal circumstances.’

‘She?’

James taps the console. ‘My ship. You didn’t think it was that easy to make it back here after the maze of corridors to get to what you consider valuable.’

‘I guess not...’ Silver thinks. ‘In that case, where do you keep the real valuables?’

James checks a monitor. ‘One is in the kitchen marveling over the various alien treats I have in stock. One is in the arboretum smelling the freshly-blooming flowers. One is visiting her parents. The last is... Is she eating my ice cream? Oh. She is so grounded.’

Silver smiles. ‘I see. ... Is she happy?’

‘Who?’

‘Uh...’ Silver blushes. ‘The one who smells like you. … Sort of like potatoes and pineapple.’

‘Say her name.’

‘Rei! Is Rei happy? I sort of... have a crush on her.’

James laughs. ‘I know. She’s fine. She talked a lot about you after her trip. Thanks to you, Inkie switched to a more flowery shampoo for a few weeks.’

Silver smiles and laughs. ‘She was a funny one.’

‘You should come by sometime. I am sure Rei would love to see you.’ James covers his mouth with a hoof. ‘Come in disguise and Rarity will totally freak out.’

‘You know about my disguise?’

‘Silver Fox in Istallion is Vulpe d’...’

Silver groans. ‘Yep. Just like her. I see the resemblance.’

James growls. ‘She is adopted. As in not really mine.’

Silver rolls her eyes. ‘All I know is that you’re her caretaker. I am not like Lyra and obsessed with every detail about you.’ She laughs. ‘She says she has been following you all her life.’

James gets back to work. ‘Spoilers.’

‘Whatever. … Hey. Can you give Rei something for me?’

‘Ask one of the others, especially Lucas. It would be weird if it were from her father.’

Silver laughs. ‘I understand.’ She stretches her wings. ‘Well, I am going to find a bed. You get some rest too.’

James sighs in response and taps some buttons. Silver trots away. James watches the young mare leave and turns to a monitor.

‘When and where was Lyra born?’

Everypony is assembled in the warehouse for the final planning stages of the mission. Everpony is in costume and ready to go. James, Lucas and Kaeko stand by the TARDIS. Octavia walks in front of the map.

‘We each make our way to the bomb locations and once we are in position, Lyra will walk us through the disarm sequence.’

‘Thanks to Twilight, the sequence is much simpler than I thought. Everything will be over before we know it,’ Lyra says.

‘Thank you so much for helping us.’ Octavia throws her hood over her head. ‘We cannot do it without all of you.’

Octavia turns and trots out of the building. Silver nods to the other pegasi, and they fly away. The rest of the land-based ponies gallop out of the building. One of the costumed Mare Do Well figures turns around and gallops to James. She pulls back part of her hood to reveal an orange muzzle. She leans in and kisses James briefly.

‘Ya know. Fer luck.’

She covers her face and gallops away. Lucas turns to look at his boss.

‘Dude! Since when did that start?’

The costumed Rainbow Dash flies up to the cloud stadium. She loops under the structure to avoid being seen. The regular security does not see the purple-clad pegasus fly under the structure. Rainbow Dash makes her way to a small service hatch in the underside and enters the building. She pulls back her costume and checks a map she drew on her leg.

‘Okay. Gotta go this way.’

Rainbow Dash slinks down the halls. She stops every few intersections to check her map. A door opens in front of her and she hides in an air vent. While waiting for the pony to pass her, she hears voices echoing through the vent. She follows the sound of the voices and comes to a locker room. She looks in and her eyes go wide. She is staring into the stallions’ locker room right as the male members of The Wonderbolts are showering and relaxing after practice. A wicked idea pops into Rainbow Dash’s head, and she starts crawling through the vents to find a specific pony.

‘Come on, Soarin. Where are you?’

Soon, a baby blue pegasus with a navy mane comes into view through the vents. Rainbow Dash giggles. She stops and turns her head a bit. She raises her front hooves as if to measure something. After some quick math in her head, she lets out a big sigh.

‘It needs to be about twenty percent cooler.’

The costumed Rarity runs through the alleys connecting Canterlot’s downtown shops. In addition to using her gem-finding spell to search for the magical stones in the bomb, she is making mental notes of all of the sales she will visit later once she has saved the district. She stops in an alley and starts scanning the buildings.

‘Where is that blasted thing?’

Rarity nears a street and starts looking for her next search location. The large number of shoppers about makes it hard for her to act covertly. She ducks behind a dumpster when a young couple nears the alley. When they get close, she realizes there is something familiar about them.

‘How do you like that tart you got?’ Inkie asks.

Stormy bites a tart. ‘UGH! This is gross. Never going there again. That bakery should be blown up.’

Stormy dumps the tart as well as a bag with the store logo in the dumpster as he and Inkie pass. Rarity retrieves the bag and checks her mobile for a route to the bakery.

‘Thank you, dear Stormy,’ Rarity mumbles to herself as she gallops away.

Down the street, Stormy is using his magic to scrape his tongue. Inkie groans at her friend.

‘You know, we passed her already. You don’t have to keep acting.’

Stormy stops his cleansing. ‘Who is acting? That tart was vile. I hope the building really does get destroyed.’

Inkie groans and facehoofs.

Lyra levitates a map in front of her as she navigates Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. She is beginning to regret going to a music academy instead since she is completely lost in the maze of hallways and corridors.

‘Why did I go to this place blind?’

Third hallway on your left and six doors down, a voice says over Lyra’s headset.

‘What? Lucas?’

Trust me. I’ll get you there.

Lyra gallops down the halls, following Lucas’ directions. She opens the door in front of her and finds a set of stairs leading down.

The bomb is in the chamber where they store the school’s reactive stones. If it goes off, the whole mountain could crack.

‘I understand.’

Lyra heads down the stairs. A pair of royal guards stand at the bottom of the stairs, before a large vault door. Lyra jumps out of the stairwell and hits both guards with her adhesive jelly. The guards try leaping into action, but they are stuck. Lyra gallops over and slips magic restrictive rings on their horns. She starts opening the vault.

‘Sorry boys. Nothing personal.’

After cracking the vault security, Lyra enters and scans the room for the bomb. She finds it hidden at the far back of the vault. She levitates it to a position with better lighting and analyzes the device. She clips a scanner onto part of the bomb. Several small dots appear on the scanner.

‘This is Lyra, do you read me?’ Lyra says into her headset.

The other ponies respond.

‘Who else is at their target?’

I am. Rainbow Dash replies. I also found where The Wonderbolts are -- she giggles -- “hanging out”. So awesome!

I am mere moments from arriving, Rarity says.

I think most of us are still a ways out or still looking for the bomb, Octavia adds. Give us a few moments.

‘I read you,’ Lyra says as she turns to her scanner. ‘Wait a second. According to the network, one of the bombs is missing.’

Which one? Octavia asks.

‘The one at the palace.’ Lyra scratches her head. ‘That doesn’t make sense. According to Skybound’s files, that was the first one placed.’

Could that mean it is offline? Twilight asks.

‘No way. They were all rigged to detonate if one goes offline. This must be a different model. Skybound must have wanted ensure the palace was destroyed even if the other bombs were stopped.’

I am on it. James says.

Wait! Twilight says. Shouldn’t somepony else go? We need you to coordinate the other groups.

This is a bomb of unknown design. I am a scientist. I have more expertise with this sort of thing than anypony else in this group. Trust me.

There is a long pause over the radio.

‘Trust him, Twilight. He knows what he is doing,’ Lyra assures.

Okay. I’ll meet you here, Twilight replies.

Roger, Twilight James laughs before getting off the line.

Lyra sits back and sighs. She starts going over the deactivation process in her mind while the others get in place.

Twilight darts behind a statue and waits for a pair of guards to pass. She tries to remember the route to the crystal chambers under the palace. She knows she is close. She needs to a moment to search. The guards begin patrolling again, but they stop and salute. Celestia trots over and start chatting with the guards. Twilight uses her magic to tap into her radio.

James? Are you here yet? I need some help. Twilight thinks into the radio.

Whoa! [Turn off caps lock.](http://youtu.be/FGWwC5HFPpw) I’m almost to your location.

Good. Then can you give me a bit of a distraction? I think I know where to go, but the burst of magic will alert Celestia.

On it.

Twilight peeks from behind her hiding place. Celestia and the guards laugh at a joke between them. A brown form trots up behind Celestia.

‘Hey! Celi! How’s it going?’ James cheers.

Celestia snaps around. ‘Mr Wanderer? What are you doing here?’

‘Oh, I was just in town on business and thought I would stop by,’ James smiles. ‘Do you know why Luna came by my place the other day? During the daytime? Crying? And only saying “Cloudchaser”?’

Celestia’s eyes go wide, and she starts sweating. The guards form up beside their ruler.

She what?! Twilight shouts in her mind.

James winces a bit at the feedback on his headset. ‘Anyway. While I am here, Twilight wanted me to give you something.’

Dear Celestia. What is he going to do? Twilight facehoofs.

James grins and looks towards Twilight’s hiding place. Celestia gives a big sigh.

‘If it is from Twilight Sparkle, I will accept it, Mr Wanderer.’ Celestia says.

James’ grin grows. ‘I am sure you will like it.’

James motions Celestia a little closer. She leans forward slightly as he leans up and kisses the princess on the lips. Celestia’s eyes go wide, and her wings stick up out of shock. The guards stare at the kiss, not knowing how to react. Twilight stares at her coltfriend kissing her mentor. Her jaw literally on the ground. James waves Twilight to continue her search. Twilight growls and gallops away.

If she doesn’t kill him, I will. Twilight thinks.

I love you too. James thinks in reply.

Twilight stumbles a bit when she realizes she was still magically tapped into her headset. Once Twilight is out of sight, James breaks the kiss. Celestia stares down at the shorter earth pony as she ponders her next move. The guards stand ready for anything. Celestia sighs and frowns at James.

‘Guards. Take him to my chambers. I’ll deal with him personally,’ Celestia states before trotting away.

James sits on the ground and puts his front legs in the air as the guards take him into custody.

Under the city where her friends cannot see her, Applejack has replaced her Mare Do Well hat with her stetson. She creeps through the sewers at a pace balancing speed and the desire not to accidentally step in something that will make her hooves smell for weeks. She also curses Rarity’s choice in fabrics that do not block smells. She reaches under her hat and gets out her mobile device and checks her location using GPS.

‘Now where in the hay am Ah?’

‘A tomb!’ echoes down the sewer. ‘I always love a good tomb.’

A light brown earth pony and grey pegasus come into view. The pegasus is wisely flying above the filth.

‘Of course you do, Doctor,’ Derpy replies. She looks up. ‘Hey Applejack!’

Applejack, carefully, makes her way over to the others. ‘What in the hay are y’all doing here?’

‘Well, I got tired of waiting for James to call, so I figured why not have some fun,’ The Doctor replies.

‘Fun? In a sewer?’ Applejack’s mask clearly and accurately shows her disbelief.

‘It has a certain charm.’ The Doctor takes a deep breath. He instantly doubles over, choking on the fumes. He looks after catching his breath. ‘I just don’t know what went wrong there.’

Derpy pats The Doctor on the back. ‘That is okay, Doctor.’

‘Anyway. I am here to help,’ The Doctor says. ‘This way!’

The Doctor starts trotting the direction Applejack came from.

‘Actually, professor, Ah think it is this way.’

The Doctor turns and trots the other direction. The mares sigh and follow.

The disguised Fluttershy has made it most of the way through the music academy. The spell in the Mare Do Well costume along with her natural shyness has kept her unseen so far. She just has to slip past the headmaster’s office, and she will be at the access tunnels leading to the bomb. She trots up to a corner and nervously looks to see if the coast is clear. The headmaster can clearly be seen in his office. Fluttershy squeaks and backs away. Suddenly, there is a commotion from the office. Fluttershy peeks to see an unicorn run into the office.

‘I am sorry, headmaster,’ the unicorn says. ‘They just barged right in here.’

The unicorn moves enough for Fluttershy to see three fillies standing in the office. Her eyes go wide with surprise.

‘And what do you three want?’ The headmaster asks.

‘We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders! And we are here to rock your socks off!’ Scootaloo declares.

The headmaster facehoofs. ‘Dear Celestia. Make it quick.’

Scootaloo clears her voice, and the others take a step back.

‘WE are tHe CutIE MarK CruS...’

‘Make it stop!’

The unicorn magically covers Scootaloo’s mouth and levitates her out of the room. The headmaster turns to the others.

‘Well?’

Apple Bloom nudges Sweetie Belle. ‘Go on.’

‘Why me?’

‘Ya wanna help Miss Fluttershy, right? Well, mah voice ain’t the one that will help her.’

Sweetie Belle sighs and clears her throat.

♫ We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders~ On a quest to find out who we are~ And we will never stop our journey~ Not until we have our cutie marks~ ♪

The headmaster stares at the embarrassed Sweetie Belle in awe. Apple Bloom smirks and steps out of the room.

‘Ah’ll jus’ leave ya t’ talk.’

Apple Bloom closes the door. She looks around and waves Fluttershy over. Fluttershy quickly dashes to the basement entrance. She nods to Apple Bloom before slipping under the school.

James looks around Celestia’s chambers. They are a lot more sparse than Luna’s, especially the lack of the massive gaming rig the Princess of the Night enjoys. All of the sun motifs remind James why he dislikes going out while the sun is still up. He makes sure to stay away from the bedroom in case Celestia believes in eye-for-an-eye punishment. He also notes how far a drop it is from the balcony in case he needs to use a regeneration or two in his escape.

The doors to the chambers open, and Celestia enters. She seals the doors behind her. The tall alicorn glares down at the shorter earth pony. She stares past his glasses, through his eyes and into his soul.

‘You put me in a really tough place, Mr Wanderer.’ Celestia states. ‘You see, there are rumors that float through this palace. Rumors that say I force ponies to do... certain things for me or that I use my horn for less than its intended purposes. No doubt calling you here will cause those rumors to spread.’ James sweats and gulps. ‘No. Those rumors are far from true.’ James sighs in relief. ‘I called you to my private chambers to say one thing to you about your behavior earlier.’

Celestia stands over James as tall as she can. The Time Lord can see all of his regenerations flash before his eyes. The princess grabs the gamer in a big hug. James can feel Celestia’s tears fall on his head as she cries.

‘Thank you. Thank you so much.’ Celestia sobs. ‘It has been centuries since anypony tried kissing me. Though I know it was without affection or even hint of passion, it was by far the best kiss I have ever received. Thank you so much, Mr Wanderer.’

James is stunned. ‘Uh... No prob?’

James pats the side of the larger pony while Celestia continues her hug. Eventually, the crying princess releases her hug and sits facing her guest.

‘Many apologies. I have been a little emotional recently. And then your act...’

‘That wasn’t really from Twilight, you know.’

‘That much was obvious. Do you wish to tell me why you are really here?’

James thinks hard on the subject. ‘I cannot. Not yet. I am sure the truth will be told one day. If it is not soon, I will see that I personally inform you and Luna of what happened.’

Celestia looks away. ‘Luna...’ She glances back. ‘Apologies. It was the Luna and Cloudchaser situation that has put our emotions at this level. Once again, I have ruined another other Luna’s relationships.’

‘She was pretty devastated when she came to me,’ James says. ‘It wasn’t so much anything you had said. It was more how Cloudchaser had crushed her in return.’

Celestia shakes her head. ‘No. It was all me. Even if the others acted on their own, I was the one that forced the situation before the romance could blossom and potentially bloom. I am always ruining her relationships.’

‘To be fair, the two of us are doing as good as ever, and Discord was an ass.’

‘Yes, it is just that...’ Celestia starts crying again. ‘The relationships you have with my sister. All three of you... How do you do it? How do get her to open to you as you do? We are closer now than when we were foals, but she still feels so distant from me.’

‘Are you saying you are jealous of our relationships?’

Celestia nods.

‘Um... I really don’t know what to say. I am pretty new to the relationship game myself. There is just some level where we click. Some level where we can just be open with each other. Surely you felt that in your last relationship.’

Celestia meekly looks at the other pony. ‘I... never had a coltfriend...’

‘But you said...’

‘I have had relations, yes. It is hard to live as long as I have and not feel the urge.’

‘Tell that to my left hoof,’ James mumbles.

‘As crass as it sounds, yes. I understand that, too.’ Celestia grimaces and shakes her head. ‘Those acts are not important. The fact remains that I am a destroyer of relationships, especially my sister’s. It is like I subconsciously don’t want her to be happy.’

‘That is a lie, and you know it. She is the most important pony in the world to you, and you want her to be happier more than anything. You not wanting Luna to be happy would be like me not wanting Rei or Twilight to be happy.’

‘But all of the things I have done..!’

‘Discord deserved a wary eye! As for me and Cloudchaser...’ James shrugs. ‘Well, I really doubt you can stop either. You have learned to be more accepting and while you have made recent missteps, the damage is slowly going to undo itself. Did you at least apologize to Luna?’

‘Of course! I would never want her to know I meant to hurt her feelings!’

‘Did you tell her you were wrong, though?’

‘But I was right! She agreed with the logic of the situation. Their relationship was unsustainable. She would have been exposed. If not with Cloudchaser, she would have made a slip with you.’

‘Logic does not hold in the chaos that is love,’ James states. ‘Luna came to my shop with her guards and no disguise. If Lucas wasn’t able to BS his way with the few customers we had at the time, she would have been exposed by now. … Because you told her to hurt Cloudchaser.’ He glares at Celestia. ‘There is another pony you owe an apology to as well.’

Celestia stares at the ground. ‘I... I am sorry.’

‘Princess... You have friends. We are here for you if you ever need advice. Your friendship reports don’t have to be a one-way street.’ James tries to make eye contact with Celestia. ‘Rei and I are learning what it means to have friends for the first time in our lives. Pinkie and I work on our feelings of aloneness together. Fluttershy and I struggle with our social awkwardness together. And Twilight... Twilight and I are learning a lot together. You have friends that can help you with anything you are feeling. Please just ask us.’

Celestia looks up at the pony sitting across from her. She half smiles. ‘Will you be willing to help me?’

‘Of course.’

‘Will you also stop exposing our nation’s secret history?’

‘Not on your life.’

Celestia laughs. ‘That will have to do.’ She pulls James in for a hug again. ‘Please let this be our secret for now. I do not wish to worry my sister or Twilight.’

‘Cross my heart, hope to fly, double rainbow all the way across the sky.’

Celestia laughs again. ‘Thank you, Mr Wanderer.’ She pauses. ‘Would you care for a banana?’

James breaks from the hug and backs across the room as fast as he can. Celestia laughs, knowing that rumor still has power.

Silver Fox flies through a dormitory at full speed. She turns into a room, flies out the window and loops to the next story in the building. She flies down another hall and dives into the communal showers. Shortly afterwards, the doors are burst open by the most persistent law enforcement known to ponykind: campus police. Everypony knows that campus police are glorified parking attendants and when they get a real case, such as a professional thief sneaking around campus, they are overly aggressive to the point of being obsessive brutes. Silver wishes they were as easy to shake as real law enforcement.

‘Where is she!’ a pegasus holding clubs in his wings and mouth shouts.

‘Come out with your hooves and wings where we can see them,’ a female earth pony says.

In her shower stall hiding spot, Silver starts drawing a dagger in anticipation of fighting her way out. Suddenly, there is a series of loud explosions outside of the building. The campus police spin around.

‘That sounded like fireworks,’ the female officer says.

‘Dude. I totally love fireworks,’ her partner responds.

The stall next to Silver’s bursts open. An overly-buff pegasus with tiny wings charges out. ‘YEAH!’ he yells as he flies past the officers. The officers shrug and leave to watch the fireworks. Silver sighs and sneaks out. She finds a window and looks out.

‘Come one! Come all! Prepare to be amazed by The Great and Powerful Trixie!’

Octavia trots through the concert hall. She climbs to the stage and paces out the location of her instrument. She stops to play a few imaginary stanzas before taking a bow and continuing her search for the bomb.

The Canterlot train station is buzzing with reports of a pony clad in purple running about the station. Some ponies are buzzing more than others since Canterlot guards are interviewing them about the mysterious pony. A pair of guards stand watch as a train full of passengers disembark after their trip. A purple-clad hoof taps one on the shoulder. He turns and faces Mare Do Well.

‘Hi! Have you seen a bomb around here?’

Before the guard can call for back up, darts fly out and the guards freeze in place. A white-clad hoof pulls Pinkie into the shadows. A pegasus with silver wings in garb similar to Octavia’s armor holds Pinkie to the wall.

‘You are in public,’ Kaeko growls. ‘You have to be more subtle.’

‘OH!’ I get it.’

Pinkie salutes and hops out of the shadows. She hops across the platform and climbs on top of the train.

‘HEY! EVERYPONY!’ Pinkie shouts. ‘HAS ANYPONY SEEN A BOMB?’

Everypony stares at Mare Do Well Pinkie for a few seconds before a pink earth pony with a blonde mane screams. Everypony panics and starts running about the station. Kaeko flies out of her hiding and lands next to Pinkie.

‘You just live in your own special world, don’t you?’

‘I’d love a Chimicherry! Thank you!’

Kaeko facehoofs at maximum intensity.

In the magic stone repository, Lyra is keeping boredom at bay by arranging the magical stones in artistic patterns while keeping the reactive ones away from each other. She takes a picture of her caricature of Bon Bon before groaning and activating her headset.

‘Everypony in...’

Stop asking! several voices shout.

We might have to go early, Kaeko says. *Somepony* started a riot at the train station.

Ha, ha! That’s our Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash laughs.

Lyra facehoofs. ‘Are you at least in position?’

My Pinkie Sense says we’re almost there!

‘Hurry. We may not have much...’

There is the sound of hooffalls outside of the repository. The immobilized guards yell for help.

‘Oh no.’

Before the new ponies can investigate further, there is a silver flash and Lucas appears in the repository. He immediately forces the vault door shut and fries the lock with his magic. He turns to Lyra.

‘Right after you got lost, I came to back you up,’ Lucas explains. ‘I was just waiting until you needed help.’

‘How did you...’

Lucas sighs. ‘Your report on me should show that there is only one unicorn that scored higher than me on the entrance exam to Celestia’s school, and she is dating my boss.’

‘Right.’ Lyra activates her headset. ‘Everypony better be in place now. I doubt I have much time before Skybound makes his move.’

We’re here! We’re here! I found it! Pinkie cheers over the radio.

Lyra sighs at the enthusiasm. ‘Good.’ She levitates a set of tools in front of her. ‘The first step you need to do is...’

Twilight gallops as fast as she can through the crystal caverns under the palace. She scans every surface for the bomb. She rounds a corner and finds a large, cylindrical metal tube in front of her. She screams in surprise then activates her headset.

‘James! I found it! I am taking it to the surface. Meet me at the cave entrance.’

Twilight lifts the bomb with her magic and carries it out of the caverns as fast as she dares. She quickly gains speed as she gets more comfortable carrying the bomb. As she nears the cavern entrance, a form comes into view. The form turns to its side, revealing itself to be a unicorn, and calls out rows of royal guards. Twilight does not want to face who she is about to face.

‘Halt right there!’ the unicorn calls. He is a large, white stallion with a short, dark purple mane. ‘Lower your weapon and surrender! There is no escape!’

Why’d it have to be him... Twilight thinks. She uses her magic to tap into the radio again. James! Hurry!

Twilight slows as she gets to the mouth of the cave. She carefully sets the bomb on the ground in front of her. The rows of angry-looking royal guards and their captain scare Twilight a little. The captain steps forward. He examines the costumed pony in front of him.

‘You are the mare from those posters that appeared around town recently. Who are you? What are you doing in the palace?’

The knight takes a step forward. Twilight takes two steps back. Suddenly, there is a commotion from the ranks. James pushes his way through the guards and trots straight to the bomb.

‘Sorry I’m late. The princess had me all tied up and things,’ James says as he studies the bomb. He looks up at Twilight. ‘I’d tell you, but you might blush a little.’

James.... Twilight seethes under her mask.

James gets out his sonic screwdriver and starts scanning the bomb. The captain of the guard stares at the interloper in shock.

‘Excuse me! You are interfering with a royal investigation. You will be arrested.’

‘Oh, keep you armor on...’ James turns back. His eyes go wide then he smirks. ‘Handsome.’

Twilight and the knight are stunned. James steps up to the knight and smiles.

‘I don’t normally say this, but you are the most handsome creature I have ever laid eyes on.’

JAMES! Twilight snaps into the radio.

James looks back at Twilight. ‘If the ratios were reversed, I’d want him as one of your seven.’

Twilight pulls her mask down. She uses her magic to pull James to her. ‘He is my brother!’

‘Twilight?!’ Shining Armor gasps.

‘So... He would be a maybe?’ James asks.

Twilight growls. ‘Just get back to the bomb.’

‘Ah! Right!’ James scans the bomb again. ‘Simple fission device. I haven’t seen one of these since grade school. Used to flush them down the toilets and blow out the pipes.’ He laughs. ‘Don’t try that at home, kids. Uh... This looks to be a gun-type construction.’ He puts his ear to one end. ‘Ah! Here is the, uh, core, shall we say. That means the other end is...’ He taps it and listens. ‘Yep. Just as I thought.’ He stands back and claps his front hooves together. ‘All right! First thing we need to do is...’ He hops over the bomb and takes Shining Armor’s sword. ‘Just need to borrow this for a moment, handsome.’ He swings the sword, and it slices into the middle of the bomb. He scans it again with the sonic. ‘Okay. That is that. The firing mechanism is completely deactivated. Now, to dispose of it.’ He turns around. ‘Pretty, which way to the nearest cliff?’

‘What?’ Shining Armor asks. ‘Why do you want to know?

Twilight levitates the bomb. ‘James, follow me.’

‘Oh right. You’re here, too.’

Twilight growls and starts leaving. The guards cut her off.

James sighs. ‘Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb.’

‘Shining! Let me through.’

‘I am sorry, Twilight. We don’t know what that is or what you two are doing here,’ Shining Armor responds. ‘For the safety of the palace, we can’t let you leave.’

James glares into Shining Armor’s eyes. ‘You might have the most beautiful eyes that I can stare into for days but know this, that bomb is still a threat. If it is not disposed of in a safe manner, this entire palace and a good deal of the city will be destroyed.’

Shining Armor backs off a step. He waves his guards back to give Twilight space to move.

‘Thank you. I promise to tell you all about this later,’ Twilight tells her brother. ‘Come along, James.’

Twilight gallops away with the bomb. James winks at Shining Armor and slips a card into the unicorn’s armor.

‘Call me.’

James gallops after Twilight. Shining Armor stares after them, the shock still setting in. He shakes his head and chases after the couple. James follows Twilight as she leads him through the palace.

‘So... your brother... Is he..?’

‘He’s married!’ Twilight snaps. ‘I was the best mare.’

‘Is there any room in there for one more?’

Twilight stops and glares at her coltfriend. ‘If you dare think about harassing my brother like that again, this bomb will be the least of your worries. Got it!’

James nods at the furious Twilight. Twilight gives one last growl before continuing her charge to the edge of the palace. Shining Armor is able to catch up to the couple, though he takes a step away from them after Jim winks. Twilight leads them to the edge of the palace that overlooks the cliff. She holds the bomb over the side.

‘Now what?’ Twilight asks.

‘Throw it as far as you can and prepare to watch some fireworks,’ James smiles.

‘I thought you said that it could destroy most of the city!’ Shining Armor cries.

‘That is why I am going to dispose of it by dropping it off the cliff,’ James replies. ‘The best way to get rid of fissile material in a hurry is to blow it up.’ He smirks. ‘Or melt it.’

‘Oh! I know what you are thinking.’

Twilight readies to launch the bomb as far as she can.

‘Wait. Twilight, are you sure about this?’ Shining Armor asks. ‘Do you trust him?’

Twilight looks at her brother then smiles at James. ‘I absolutely trust him.’

‘He’s not some kind of madpony?’

Twilight pauses for several seconds. ‘I absolutely trust him.’

Shining Armor sighs, and his magic joins Twilight’s in preparing to throw the bomb.

‘Excellent,’ James cheers. ‘Just need one last piece.’ He runs as far forward as he can and raises a hoof to the air. ‘PLASMA BUSTER!’

James turns back to the mages, and they launch the bomb as far as they can. There is a crash of lightning from above. A pair of swirling bands and plasma spiral from the sky and intercept the bomb in midair. The once-solid weapon is ripped apart on the molecular level as the plasma flows over it. A small blue and white streak breaks from the plasma after directing it away from the ground. Shining Armor stares in amazement about what he is witnessing. Twilight steps up to James and gives him a quick nuzzle before teleporting away. James steps back beside Shining Armor.

‘That vaporized most of the uranium in the bomb,’ James says. ‘I never really measured the temperature of her plasma, but it should have done the job. Just to be safe, have your scientists run some geiger counters through the area. It shouldn’t be that big of a mess to clean up if anything.’

Shining Armor mumbles sounds that barely classify as syllables in response. James checks the time on his mobile.

‘Oh. I better be going.’ He looks around. ‘Well, since there is no other Sparkle around.’ He leans up a bit and kisses Shining Armor on the cheek. ‘Don’t be a stranger.’

Shining Armor stares at the slowly dissipating plasma for a few more moments before looking around. He is the only pony in the area. Princess Celestia calmly trots up next to her captain of the guard.

‘Shining Armor, looks like you had a bit of a day,’ Celestia comments. ‘I think you should take some time off and see the wife, hmm?’

Shining Armor nods and trots away. Celestia giggles to herself about the broken stallion’s reaction.

...and just cut and tie off the lines connecting the vats of binary explosive and you’re home free, Lyra says over the radio.

Octavia cuts the line and gives a big sigh. She sets down her tools and stands up. She walks away from the bomb and climbs down from the rafters where the bomb was hidden. She looks out a window. The Skybound Tower is in view. Octavia pulls the hood of her cloak over her face and begins her next mission.

Vinyl watches from a bistro as the plasma trail dissipates. The whole city is buzzing about the purple-clad ponies running about and the disarmed bombs being found throughout the city. Vinyl sighs as she sips her drink.

‘Looks like Tavi did what she needed to do.’ She checks a watch. ‘Still a couple hours, but I can get there early.’

Vinyl finishes her drink. She gets up and trots calmly down the street.

A pair of double doors are smashed open by a pair of pegasi being thrown through them. Octavia steps into the room and over the unconscious guards. At the other end of the room, a pale yellow pegasus with a sky blue mane rise from behind a desk.

‘With the speed you came through my building,’ Skybound says, ‘it would seem as if you are late for a date or something.’

‘Surrender, Skybound,’ Octavia demands. ‘Your plot is over. You have been stopped.’

‘What are you talking about? I am just as shocked as you to hear somepony was targeting our fair capital, and even threatened our dear princesses.’

‘Don’t play dumb. Our computer experts started hijacking your servers long before we moved against your physical operations. Your files are in the hooves of Celestia’s army by now. I would not be surprised if they are coming for you as we speak.’

‘Oh dear. That would be a bad thing... if I didn’t have a private army waiting for them.’

Octavia shakes her sleeves and several feathers fall from them. ‘I don’t think that is a problem.’

Skybound rounds his desk. ‘Surrender is not an option.’

The pegasus raises his wings. Several gun barrels are revealed from his mounted weapons. He fires a volley at Octavia, who barely dives out of the way.

‘You stupid earth pony! I was doing it for us!’ Skybound shouts. ‘I was going going to end the reign of the princesses and eliminate the unicorn menace once and for all.’

Octavia throws a volley of darts. ‘This is some stupid tribalist thing? Give me a break!’

‘Think of it. Earth ponies would have been given more freedoms under the rule of the pegasi. We would have watched over our wingless brethren. No more worries about the damn magic users getting in our way.’

Octavia growls. ‘I happen to love one of those damn magic users.’

Octavia draws her sword and charges. Skybound fires another burst from his guns. Octavia slices through the bullets but winces as a few hit. Skybound fires again, but Octavia jumps. She leaps over the bullets and knocks Skybound to the ground. She quickly slices the bindings on Skybound’s weapons with her hidden blades and pins the pegasus to the ground by his wings. Blood drops from Octavia’s right foreleg.

‘You got me, warrior,’ Skybound snarls. ‘Going to finish me off?’

‘I would love nothing more than that.’

‘Don’t!’

Octavia looks back at the source of the cry. James is standing in open TARDIS doors.

‘Don’t kill him. He must face justice,’ James commands.

Octavia growls. ‘I know.’ She smirks. ‘But that doesn’t mean I can’t give him something to remember me by.’

Octavia activates her hidden blades. Skybound screams in pain as the blades slice through his wings. Octavia backs away and limps to the TARDIS with two injured legs.

‘Don’t be a wimp. I only severed the connective tissue between your wings and your body. You’ll be able to fly again... if they ever invent technology or a spell to repair you.’

James helps Octavia into the TARDIS and closes the doors. Octavia immediately collapses and grabs James. She is sobbing uncontrollably.

‘He got me!’ Octavia cries. ‘I can’t feel it. I can’t...’

‘What happened?’

Octavia holds up her limp right foreleg. There is a bullet wound spilling blood to the deck. ‘My leg. I cannot feel it. I cannot... I cannot play any more.’

Octavia drops her injured leg to the side as James pulls her in for a hug. He pushes back her hood so she can cry freely.

‘Don’t worry. It will be okay. Your leg will heal.’

‘But it won’t heal properly. I won’t be able to play like I used to if at all.’

‘Yes, you will. You will be the greatest composer ever to walk the planet.’

‘Shut up! Quit lying to make me feel better! It is not working!’

‘Octavia!’ James snaps. ‘Look around you. Do you think, with all of this technology, I cannot help you get back to better than new?’

Octavia looks around the ship. She looks back at the ship’s captain and gives a weak smile. James smiles in return and helps her onto his back. He starts carrying her to an infirmary.

‘So... the magic user you love...’

Octavia puts her left foreleg on James’ neck. ‘I still have one working leg, you know.’
…

A loud whooshing sound fills Ponyville hospital. The doctors and nurses back away as a new door materializes on a wall in the middle of a ward. The door opens, and James sticks his head out.

‘Ah! Good. I have the right place.’

James steps out and looks around.

‘Okay. I am looking for the greatest medical mind on the planet. Quickly now!’

An earth pony with a curly orange mane steps forward. James stops him.

‘No, no. Her.’

James points to a white earth pony nurse with a pink mane. She freezes for a second before stepping onto the TARDIS. She freezes again when she sees the inside of the TARDIS. James grabs her foreleg and drags her deeper into the TARDIS.

‘Yes. Yes. Bigger on the inside. So many innuendo jokes.’ James stops in front of a door. ‘More importantly, you have a patient here.’

James pushes open the door. Octavia is laying bed with her hooves in a medical device.

‘What do you need me to do?’ Nurse Redheart asks.

James rubs the back of his head. ‘To be honest, I am not sure.’

‘Baka,’ Octavia grumbles.

‘The manual said that it can perfectly regenerate the tissue of any living being. I figured I’d grab the best medical mind in existence and have at it.’

Nurse Redheart looks over the device. It is far more advanced than anything she has ever seen. She sighs and steps to the controls.

‘Fine,’ Nurse Redheart sighs. ‘You monitor the tissue regeneration while I control the regeneration matrix.’
…

James opens the TARDIS doors and steps out into a party that is going full swing. Lyra invited everypony that helped on the mission to her family’s mansion for a victory celebration. Everypony is exchanging stories about what they went through to find the bomb. In one corner, Rei giggles while Inkie blushes when Rainbow Dash holds up her hooves as if to measure something. Rarity escorts Applejack out from a back room. The orange pony’s mane sparkles from the treatment it just received. Rarity motions for The Doctor to follow her next. Stormy and Pinkie trot out of another room while carrying trays of fresh-baked treats. A white pegasus peeks from the kitchen. One pony notices James’ arrive and stops her conversation. Twilight trots over from where she was gloating that her fireworks were more impressive than Trixie’s to see her coltfriend.

‘Where have you been?’ Twilight asks. ‘I thought you were right behind me.’

‘Well... I had to see your brother (and his hotness) off. Then I was needed somewhere very important.’

‘Oh? Where?’

Vinyl checks her watch. She is waiting outside of a jazz club. It is almost seven in the evening, and she still has not seen Octavia. She groans and listens to the music coming from a club. A pony wearing a trench coat, fedora and a dark glasses trot up. She looks around nervously.

‘Sorry. I am late. I needed to check something,’ Octavia mumbles from under her disguise.

Vinyl laughs. ‘You know, it wouldn’t kill you to show your face in public for once.’

Octavia glares from behind her glasses. ‘An important pony like myself should never be seen in a dive like this. No matter how delightful the melodies may be.’

Vinyl laughs again. ‘You’re so funny.’

The friends enter the club and find a place to sit.

‘By the way, what did you need to check?’ Vinyl asks.

Octavia smiles. ‘Oh, I just needed some cello practice. Had to make sure my hooves were in working order.’

‘And?’

Octavia’s smile widens. ‘I... I think I know exactly how to repay him now...’

The following afternoon, the six members of Mare Do Well and the Trio ad Libitum are having one last meeting at the Canterlot train station. The security is still on edge, but Pinkie knows exactly how to get past them. Twilight and Octavia are exchanging final farewells.

‘This has been quite an adventure,’ Twilight says.

‘Indeed,’ Octavia nods. ‘I cannot wait to see what next month offers us.’

‘Yeah, Hopefully something exciting,’ Silver Fox adds.

Twilight’s eyes go wide, but she shakes it off. ‘I am beginning to see there is more behind the scenes than I previously thought. I am sorry for doubting you.’

‘It is no big deal,’ Octavia shrugs. ‘Just don’t go telling everypony.’

‘Yeah.’ Lyra agrees. ‘They’ll start thinking you’re crazy for some reason.’

Twilight laughs. ‘I’ll keep that in mind.’

Octavia extends a hoof. ‘Until next time?’

Twilight shakes the hoof. ‘Oh, well, uh...’ The train whistle sounds. ‘Oh! Gotta go. Bye!’

Twilight and her friends board the train. They wave as the train pulls away from the platform. The trio waves back to the leaving train. Once the train is gone, the trio sits back and sighs.

‘We still have to record an album, don’t we?’ Lyra moans.

Silver winces. ‘I forgot all about that.’

Octavia closes her eyes and thinks as hard as she can. She looks up at her friends.

‘Sugar Cloud?’

The other nod. ‘Sugar Cloud.’

The Trio ad Libitum pick themselves up and trot away while planning their album and what coffees they will partake in.

Author's Note

Trio ad Libitum Duology part 2

Once again, Sugar Cloud appears courtesy of the Ask Sugar Cloud tumblr.

TWP Timeline: TWP meets Shining Armor for the first time. TWP disarms a nuclear bomb. Celestia's friendship with TWP is revealed. TWP sexually harasses Shining Armor for the first time.

Current TWP Love Triangle: Shining Armor and only Shining Armor. Mares? Who's into mares? We want Shining Armor!

Story Timeline: Mare Do Well returns! Skybound is defeated in his plot against Canterlot. Shining dumps Cadence to marry TWP.

Story event: Shining Armor x TWP forever! You don't need to know anything else.

Fun fact: Yes, I really am that obsessed with Shining Armor. He and Twilight Sparkle are the characters I flip for the most. (Chrysalis and Cloudchaser are next on the list.)

Meet the Sparkles

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, Night Light, Twilight Velvet
Cameos: Celestia, Fancy Pants, Octavia, Donut Joe
Original Write Date: 05/02/2012

James and Twilight walk up to a house on calm Canterlot street. The sun is slowly setting behind the mountain. Twilight adjusts a bow she is wearing in her mane. James groans and tries removing a tie. Twilight scowls and uses her magic to retie it.

‘I told them you would make a good impression,’ Twilight grumbles, ‘and that means you wear a tie.’

‘You got me to comb my mane. Isn’t that enough?’ the stallion groans.

Twilight growls. ‘You will be on your best behavior tonight. You only get one chance for a first impression, and I want this one to go better than with Shining Armor.’

James grins. ‘Will he be here?’

Twilight shudders. ‘Thankfully no. He made some lame excuse to be out of the city with Cadence and miss my birthday, but that is a small price to pay for you being less of a jackass.’

‘If you want me to not act out in public, you know what to do, right?’ James beams.

Twilight growls and tightens James’ tie, choking him. She knocks on the door and puts on a big smile. James quickly pulls off the tie and ties it around a passing pony’s tail. The door opens and a blue unicorn stallion and pale grey unicorn mare answer. They smile and hug Twilight.

‘Twilight!’ the unicorns cheer.

‘Mom! Dad!’ Twilight cheers in return.

There is flash of light behind the family. ‘Twitter!’ James cheers as well.

Twilight’s parents stare at the odd pony behind their daughter. Twilight changes her cringe into a smile before releasing the hug.

‘Mom, dad, this is James. My coltfriend. Who should be wearing a tie.’ Twilight closes her eyes to help control her upset feelings as she tries not to look back to confirm the presence the fabled tie.

‘Yo!’ James waves.

Night Light frowns at the other stallion. Twilight Velvet smiles and bows slightly.

‘It is a pleasure, James,’ Velvet greets.

Night Light scans the other stallion. ‘Greetings, James. Is that a Manehattan name?’

‘Sure. Why not?’

‘He’s from the Los Arion area,’ Twilight quickly corrects.

‘Sure. Why not?’ James grins.

‘Hmm. Interesting,’ Night Light says. ‘Well, come on in. Dinner should be served shortly.’

The unicorn stallion trots back into the house. The mares follow. James takes another picture of the house before following. The house is well-furnished, with paintings and small statuary around the halls. There are several walls covered with pictures of younger versions of Twilight (mostly of her as a unicorn), Shining Armor and some of the kids with a pink alicorn. James takes a few more pictures as Night Light leads them through the house to a dining room. Twilight and her mother chat the whole trot. They take their seats, with Twilight and James sitting across from Twilight’s parents. James smiles at the upset-looking stallion across from him. Night Light snorts and pours a glass of wine for himself and his wife. Servers come out and set salads in front of the diners. James sighs a bit.

‘Something wrong?’ Velvet asks.

‘Sorry. I’m not really a fan of employing servants,’ James replies.

‘Oh geez.’ Twilight facehoofs. She is surprised it took him this long to get political.

‘We only hire out help for important events,’ Night Light explains, ‘such as celebrating the visit of our wonderful daughter.’

‘Coo.’

Velvet levitates a fork of salad. ‘So, James, where in Los Arion are you from?’

‘I arrived in the southern part of the city, but I lived downtown when I was working there last year.’

‘What were you doing there?’

James thinks. ‘You could say I was the head of the beta team for a startup, if being the only member of the beta team counts.’

‘Beta for what?’ Night Light asks.

James gets out his mobile. He taps the screen a bit. ‘Here ya go. Sent you a copy of the game. It is an isomorphic platformer with some bullet hell and RPG elements. Mobile game of the year at E3. I got to meet Miyamoto again.’ He turns to Twilight. ‘You kiss lips that have kissed a god.’

Twilight shakes her head and giggles.

Night Light snorts at the couple, sips his wine, and checks his mobile. ‘Hmm. A game. Interesting. Twilight mentioned you were in the game industry.’

‘Best video game store in town,’ James beams. ‘We have no real competition.’

‘My word,’ Velvet gasps. ‘That is pretty impressive.’

‘He is the only video game store in town,’ Twilight sighs.

‘That still means I am the best.’ He grins and winks. ‘Best you know too.’

Twilight blushes. ‘Shut up.’

Night Light growls. ‘So, James, have you ever been to Canterlot before?’

James shrugs. ‘I’ve made a few trips recently but I lived here for a bit when working localization for a publisher a few years back.’

‘Everything really seems to revolve around video games with you,’ the other stallion notes, drinking his wine.

James smiles and leans against Twilight. ‘I have more important issues now. Oh! That reminds me.’ He activates his mobile. ‘Applejack, stop giving her ice cream. Apple Bloom too. They have had enough. ... Applejack, this is me. Of course I know.’ He hangs up his mobile and smiles.

Twilight snorts. ‘At least you didn’t leave her with Pinkie.’

‘Oh crap!’ James activates his mobile again. ‘Stop giving Pinkie ice cream too!’

Twilight facehoofs. Night Light pours himself more wine. The servers come out again and start setting entrees in front of the diners. James smiles and thanks the servers. The mages levitate their forks and start eating. James leans down and finishes his salad.

‘So, what do the two of you do?’ James asks, then tries the entree.

‘We’re both professors at the university,’ Velvet answers with a smile. ‘I am a professor of magic history, and my husband is professor of applied magic theory.’

‘Oh...’ James pokes his entree a bit. ‘Magic stuffs.’

Twilight kicks James under the table. Night Light looks across at the earth pony.

‘You have a problem with unicorns? Are you a Skybound apologist?’

‘Oh, hell, no. That nutcase will get what he deserves.’

‘James is a physicist, dad,’ Twilight explains.

Night Light facehoofs. ‘Oh dear Celestia. Your type ruin the fun of magic more than anything else.’

James smirks. ‘We do our best.’

The other stallion groans and takes a long sip of wine.

‘Maybe James can sit in on one of your classes?’ Twilight asks. ‘You can show him that magic isn’t all about casting spells.’

‘Yes.’ James nods. ‘It is also about love and friendship and lollypo-ouch!’

Twilight growls at her coltfriend after kicking him again. Velvet giggles at the couple. Night Light sighs and goes back to eating. He pours himself another glass of wine.

‘James, have you ever taught a class before?’ Night Light asks.

‘I used to read to foals at the library, but somepony never wanted me back.’

Twilight kicks James again. ‘You got the story totally wrong.’

‘I only modernized it. The foals loved it.’

Twilight snorts.

James laughs. ‘I also help out at the elementary school when the teacher asks me. The foals love when Mr. Wanderer shows up.’

Twilight sighs. ‘As odd as it sounds, James is a really good teacher, even if he gets the lessons wrong on occasion.’

‘Want me to check with Celestia when I get in later?’

Twilight scrunches her nose and growls. James smiles and laughs.

‘Oh, Twilight,’ Velvet sighs. ‘I’ll have to bring you some of my books sometime...’

Twilight frowns. She turns to James. ‘Speaking of Celestia, are you sure you don’t want to stay here? We have the room.’

‘No, no,’ James replies. ‘I don’t want to intrude. You should have some time alone with your parents. Besides, it was not like we had to pull many strings to get me a room at the palace.’

‘Yes, it is a damn shame you didn’t want to stay here,’ Night Light comments while sipping his wine.

Twilight sighs. ‘I just hoping you would want to stay with us. ... I mean, it is not like we haven’t shared a bed before.’

Night Light spits his wine out, spraying the earth pony across the table. James groans and wipes his face.

‘Not in the context you are thinking,’ James growls.

Night Light growls in return. ‘No matter what the context, I worry for my daughter.’

‘Da~~d!’ Twilight whines.

‘Dear,’ -- Velvet puts a hoof on her husband’s shoulder -- ‘Twilight is a grown mare now.’

‘No... I understand his feelings,’ James says. ‘I worry for my daughter too.’

‘Foal from a previous marriage?’ Night Light asks.

‘Long story and adopted,’ James replies. ‘She does some work for Luna.’

‘When she remembers or is forced to,’ Twilight grumbles.

‘Rei is a good girl. You just need to get to know her.’

‘I have known her for half a year. What part was good?’

‘She delivered that letter for you. Not to mention saving the city a few weeks ago.’

‘James! Not in public,’ Twilight hisses.

‘Wait. What was that?’ Night Light asks.

‘Nothing dear,’ Velvet says. ‘You’re just a little tipsy.’

The stallion snorts and has more wine. The mother winks across the table at her daughter. Twilight sighs in relief and goes back to her dinner. James takes one more picture for Twitter and continues his meal.

After dinner, Twilight shows James around the house. They are currently sitting in her old bedroom. James takes many pictures on his mobile.

‘You live in a library now,’ James says. ‘You lived in a library at school. You even had a library as a child. Kindle has nothing on you.’

‘Like you don’t know what my room looks like,’ Twilight retorts.

James feigns innocence. ‘I have no idea what you are talking about. I am sure if I had seen any of your house before it was only a giant conifer with a basket of gems and a lovely locket under it and definitely not a beautiful filly asleep in her bed.’

Twilight smiles, blushes and growls all at the same time.

James taps a hoof on his chin. ‘Although, it might have been Trixie who told me that...’

A pillow flies across the room, hitting the stallion in the face. James laughs as Twilight levitates another pillow to throw at him. The pillow shoots at the stallion, who ducks. The wayward bedding hits a different stallion instead.

Night Light snorts and puts the pillows back on the bed. ‘James, may we talk for a moment?’

James shrugs and heads out of the room with Night Light. The two stallions walk through the house to a balcony that looks out over the city.

‘James, I apologize for being short with you earlier,’ Night Light says. ‘You just struck me as quite a different stallion than I thought Twilight would be interested in.’

‘Shouldn’t that be “quite a different pony”?’ James asks. ‘That way you take into account whether Twilight may also be interested in mares.’

Night Light holds back a yell. ‘Right. … Shining and Twilight warned me you were odd. I didn’t think you were as unusual as you turned out to be.’

‘Thank you, sir.’

‘Hmm. Twilight is quite taken with you.’

‘Yeah... She’s great.’

‘Have the two of you been intimate?’

‘What?’ James snaps.

‘It is a legitimate question.’

‘Sir! I have been as polite as I could, but that is offensive. You are invading your daughter’s privacy just by asking that question. I will not stand here and be asked to violate her trust.’

Night Light sighs. ‘While I may not have expected that answer, I am at least relieved to hear you will not willingly betray her trust.’

James snorts. ‘Is that all? I doubt I can remain as polite as I have been to now.’

‘If your behavior up to now is what you consider polite, I shudder to think what rude would be.’

‘You’ve heard of Maximilian? The unicorn without magic?’ James points to himself. ‘Yo.’

Night Light steps back. ‘Yes. Twilight told me what you did to him. The whole family is thankful for what you did to save Twilight.’

‘I would do it again and again, endlessly. Just please don’t ever ask me to violate her trust and privacy again.’

‘You have my word,’ Night Light swears.

James snorts and trots away. ‘Good. Sorry for losing my temper.’

Night Light groans to himself as he watches the other stallion leave.

It is late in the evening when Princess Celestia finally gets to bed. Despite being the Princess of the Day, she still has many duties that must be attended to at night. She climbs into bed and magically seals her chambers so she can get some well-earned rest.

Celestia collapses onto her bed in the least regal fashion, immediately pulling all of the pillows under herself. She does not even bother with a blanket to cover herself as her hind legs give out. Her whole body is in the most undignified of poses, one raised tail short of flagging the next pony to enter the room. Celestia giggles to herself as she imagines the reaction of various members of her staff to her position. She shifts her upper body around to get a little more comfortable when she notices an extra mass on the bed. She turns her head to look and instantly screams at what she sees.

‘Hey, princess,’ James greets as he stares at Celestia’s face.

‘Mr. Wanderer!’ Celestia yells. ‘What are you doing here?’

James sighs. ‘I need some advice, and Luna is busy with Night Court. I’m trying to give her a bit of a break since she and Cloudchaser are still working things out.’

Celestia scowls at her late night visitor. She looks at the stallion as he lays next to her. She finds herself getting a little upset that he is not reacting to the provocative position she put herself in. The alicorn groans, arranges her hindquarters more appropriately, and faces her guest. ‘Fine, Mr. Wanderer. What do you want?’

‘Well, I am worried that Twilight is upset with me. I don’t think I made a good impression with her parents.’

‘You not making a good impression with somepony?’ Celestia fakes a gasp. ‘I would never have expected that from you.’

James snorts and holds up his mobile. ‘Tease me enough times and your plot meets the internet.’

Celestia laughs. ‘Please. Such an idle threat. There are those who worship it.’

‘I guess, but your sister and your advisors would love to see that side of you shown publicly.’

The princess glares with the fury of a thousand suns.

‘On the other hoof, you could always turn the other cheek.’

‘Mr. Wanderer! Just tell me your problems. And make them real ones. I highly doubt my prized student would be upset over something as petty as your behavior towards her parents.’

‘But they are...’

‘Wanderer.’ Celestia shakes her head. ‘As much as it pains me to say it, you have been the subject of more than a hoofful of friendship reports. Twilight Sparkle and her friends have accepted your... quirks. If you behaved as you normally do, I am certain my student is not upset with you.’

James sighs and nods. ‘I guess you have a point.’

‘Now, do you have any other concerns or may I finally get some sleep?’

‘Uh... Just one more thing...’

Celestia rolls her eyes. ‘What?’

James holds up his mobile. ‘Which one of these two images captures your figure better?’

A bolt of lightning shoots from Celestia’s horn and strikes the mobile. James shakes the residual electricity from the device and puts it away. He hops from the bed and trots away.

‘Please. With a daughter like Rei, do you really think my electronics wouldn’t be shielded?’ James ducks out the door. ‘See you at breakfast, Celi!’

Celestia magically slams the door after the earth pony, buries her head in a pillow and screams.

James follows Night Light as the unicorn makes his way through the halls of Canterlot University. The professor greets students as he he makes his way to his classroom. James laughs when he sees posters warning of a thief, featuring Silver in her stealth suit.

Night Light stops in front of a classroom and turns to his guest. ‘This is my most important class. I appreciate you behaving during my morning labs, but this is a real class,’ -- he laughs -- ‘try to keep up.’

Night Light enters the class. Only fifteen students sit in the classroom. James finds a seat near the front as the professor sets up.

‘Good morning, class,’ Night Light greets. ‘This is my daughter’s... coltfriend. He will be sitting in with us today.’

James waves. ‘Hey! I am The Wandering Physicist. You can call me Mr. Wanderer if you want.’

The class mumbles a greeting. Night Light steps to the board and levitates a marker.

‘Okay. Today, we are starting new material. We will be talking about teleportation.’

‘Oh! I know about that!’ James chimes in.

Night Light shudders, drawing a jagged line across the board. ‘Do you now?’

‘Yeah. Twilight and I coauthored a paper on magical teleportation. It will be published in both Science and Archania soon.’

The marker explodes under Night Light’s magic. ‘YOU are going to be in Archania?’

‘Well... Twilight did all of the real teleporting, but I think I remember some of the details...’

James picks up another marker and writes on the board.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Night Light stomps towards his office. James calmly trots behind his host. Outside the office, Twilight and her mother are waiting. They wave as the stallions approach.

‘How was class?’ Velvet asks.

Night Light shakes and holds back a magical surge. ‘He taught the class how to teleport,’ he growls.

‘I thought I sensed a lot of magic spikes around here...’ Twilight muses.

‘How are the ladies Sparkle today?’ James asks.

Twilight smiles. ‘We’re doing good. We were hoping you were free for lunch.’

A random unicorn appears near the group in a burst of orange magic. He looks around for a second.

‘Whoa. Oh! Hey, prof! Office hours?’

Night Light looks from the student to his family to the earth pony beside him. ‘Sure. Why not? Come on in.’

The professor opens his office and escorts the student inside. The others in the group sigh and head off on their own.
…

Night Light trots back to his office after his last class of the day. After having lost James at lunch, the day ended up going according to plan. The tired unicorn just wants to get home and make a great dinner with his wife and daughter and call it a day. He takes a deep breath, looks in the direction of his office and changes his plans to doing anything in his power to rid himself of that annoying stallion waving at him.

As if their positions are unchanged from earlier in the day, James, Twilight and Velvet are all waiting for Night Light to arrive. The three ponies wave as the unicorn approaches. Velvet gives her husband a kiss.

‘James has offered to take us to dinner,’ Velvet says. ‘Isn’t that great?’

‘The best,’ Night Light moans.

‘Ah! Come on!’ James cheers. ‘It is only a short trot to the place. It is easily the best in Canterlot.’

The stallion starts leading the group away. Night Light sighs and gallops to catch up.

‘Best in Canterlot near the campus? Really?’ The unicorn raises an eyebrow.

‘Oh yeah. I found it when working localization, way back when,’ James answers. ‘Amazing food. Great prices. Huge portions. Perfect for the underpaid QA. I always liked taking the QA team out after we went gold. They at least deserve that much.’

‘Seriously. This city contains the best five- and six-star restaurants in the world, and you want to take us to some college eatery?’

James stops and turns around. ‘Okay. Here is the deal. We will go to where I want to take you. If you don’t like it, I will get us into the highest-end restaurant in the city. I will pay for both meals, too. Does that sound like a bad deal?’

Night Light snorts. ‘Deal.’

‘Good.’ James spins around. ‘Oh. And I haven’t lost that bet yet. Even when I introduced Luna to In-N-Out.’ He laughs. ‘She still hasn’t stopped thanking me.’

James trots away, ahead of the group. Twilight thinks for a moment.

‘So you are the reason we got one here.’

‘You’re welcome,’ James calls back.

After eating their fill, the group trots down a moderately busy street. The two couples have split, with James and Twilight leading the parents towards their next destination. Night Light is upset that he lost the bet but feels fine about it since he had a wonderful meal. Velvet giggles.

‘I see he is finally growing on you.’

Night Light looks at his wife. ‘He finally did something I haven’t found frustrating.’

Velvet snorts. ‘Just because she isn’t in love with a royal too...’

‘Nobility has nothing to do with it.’

‘Well, to be fair, he is probably feeding off of your negative vibes to provoke you more.’

Night Light snorts and shuts up. The couple in the lead stop, and James opens a door for everypony. Twilight enters right away, but the other ponies take a moment.

‘More trickery?’ Night Light asks.

‘None,’ James assures. ‘I was talking with Twilight and we agreed that this would make a great place to stop on our way back.’

The other ponies still hesitate. James scowls.

‘My treat.’

‘Wonderful idea stopping wherever this is!’ Night Light cheers as he enters the shop.

James groans and catches up to Twilight while her parents take in the shop. They are at a fairly large donut shop that is relatively full. A lone earth pony, Donut Joe, works the counter. The stallion smiles and waves when he sees James and Twilight approach.

‘Twilight Sparkle! Mr Wanderer! Great to see you together! I always hoped that would happen.’ Donut Joe greets.

The couple looks at each other then at the baker. ‘What?’

‘The two of you used to come in here all the time a few years back,’ Donut Joe explains. ‘Twilight was always absorbed in her studies, and Mr Wanderer always seemed dead after work but from our conversations, I could tell you were perfect for each other.’

James and Twilight blush and look down. Velvet giggles at the couple. Night Light sighs.

Donut Joe beckons the couple forward. ‘Come on. You can have one of anything. On the house.’

They perk up. ‘Anything?’

Donut Joe laughs. ‘I know that look.’

The baker goes to the back of the shop. James and Twilight grin and lick their lips simultaneously. Donut Joe returns with two large eclairs on a tray. The two waiting ponies start drooling.

Donut Joe laughs. ‘You think I would forget your favorite treat? I even used some of my super sprinkles I know you love.’

The two ponies just stare at the treats.

Donut Joe laughs. ‘Take them.’

Twilight levitates the tray with the pastries, and the couple finds a table to eat. Twilight’s parent step up to the counter. Donut Joe smiles at the new customers.

‘Judging by your manestyle and colors, you are related to Twilight,’ the earth pony says.

‘Indeed.’ Velvet smiles. ‘We’re her parents.’

‘Then I’ll let you have one on the house too. Any friend or family of Twilight’s is a friend of mine.’

‘Twilight used to come here a lot?’ Night Light asks.

‘All the time when she was at the Celestia’s school. Some evenings, she and Spike would study here all night long.’

‘And James?’

‘He used to work at a game company around here that would hire students from the colleges. He came in after many late nights. I never saw them interact but knowing who they are, I always thought they would be perfect together.’

Laughter comes from James and Twilight’s from. Everypony at the counter looks over to see James lean over and lick some cream from Twilight’s nose. The couple laughs. Twilight levitates some cream to James’ nose and licks it off. They laugh again. Velvet giggles at the couple. Night Light laughs a bit too, but he immediately stops when the others look at him.

Night Light and Twilight Velvet lay in bed together after the busy day. Both are in good spirits after the desserts that James bought for them. They are trying to get as much rest before Twilight’s party the next day. Velvet sighs and turns to her husband.

‘Do you like him yet?’

Night Light snorts. ‘I will admit that he has some good points, but...’

‘Don’t you dare say it is about Twilight. She is really happy. They both really love each other.’

‘I don’t know. He just rubs me the wrong way. Like he is hiding something.’

‘We all hide stuff from those not familiar to us. That is just something we have to...’

Velvet stops talking. Her ears flop as she listens to the house. Night Light stops to listen too. They can hear a faint whirring sound. Deciding to investigate, they trace the sound to Twilight’s room. Night Light gently taps on the door.

Twilight screams then nervously says, ‘Yes? Who is it?’

‘What are you doing in there?’ Night Light asks.

‘N-nothing.’

‘We’re coming in.’

Night Light opens the door. Twilight slams a dresser drawer shut before turning to face her parents, looking very flushed, her wings slightly erect. Night Light growls and eyes the dresser.

‘Twilight. What are you hiding?’

‘N-nothing!’

‘Twilight, you can tell us,’ Velvet says.

Twilight looks away. ‘It is an early gift from James. I... I am not supposed to show anypony. It is supposed to be a private gift.’

Night Light glares. ‘What is it?’

Twilight whimpers and looks away. Night Light opens the dresser with his magic and levitates out a cylindrical object. His face turns red with embarrassment when he assumes that the brand new sonic screwdriver is the object is he thinks it is.

‘It is not what you think!’ Twilight protests. ‘It is special tool. I was just playing with it to see what it can do.’

‘I’ll bet you have,’ Night Light grumbles.

‘Dear, she is a grown mare,’ Velvet sighs. ‘Also, I have seen one of those before. It is definitely not what you are thinking.’ She starts pushing her husband out of the room. ‘It is perfectly fine. Just give me a moment with Twilight, and I’ll explain everything.’

Night Light grumbles and leaves the room. Velvet sighs and turns to her daughter. She frowns for a second before levitating the sonic close so she can examine it.

‘This is a newer design. What generation is it?’

‘Generation? I don’t know. How do you..?’

Velvet smiles. ‘When I was about your age, long before I had met your father, I worked with a mysterious doctor at the university. He had a device like this too. Not as advanced though... Does it work on wood yet?’

‘I don’t know. I don’t think that James’ does either...’

Velvet’s smile widens. ‘Now I see why you like him so much. My friend Sarah Jane was really taken with our doctor too.’

‘By doctor, do you mean..?’

Velvet puts a hoof to her lips. ‘Secrets.’ She heads to the door. ‘Don’t worry about your father. Just don’t... Just don’t have too much fun with your new toy while he is listening.’

‘I promise.’

The mares giggle a bit and head to bed.

The afternoon of Twilight’s birthday has arrived. As luck would have it, it is once again the same night as The Canterlot Garden Party. While waiting for her friends to arrive from Ponyville, Twilight, her parents and James have been invited to the garden party. James waits for Twilight to arrive near the entrance to the Canterlot palace gardens. He scouts the guests for one on which he can easily ditch his tie tonight. He grins widely when he sees the musical accompaniment for the night.

‘James, no.’

James turns to see Twilight’s stern face glaring at him. She in a plain yellow dress. Both of her parents are trotting up behind their kid and are more formally dressed. James smiles and kisses Twilight on the nose.

‘You look beautiful.’

Twilight sighs. ‘Fine. Just once, and only if you make her furious.’ She looks away and growls. ‘Teach her a lesson for trying to handle Skybound all on her own.’

‘She had backup,’ James protests, ‘and I’ll be right back!’

James gallops over to the bandstand. He grins up on the ensemble, specifically at the cello player. Octavia professionally ignores the stallion staring at her.

‘Hey! Octy! Octy! Octy! Hey Octy! Octy! Hey Octy! Octyoctyoctyocty! Hey Octy! Hey Octy! Octy! O~C~T~Y~!’

The ensemble finishes their song.

Octavia turns to the infuriating stallion. ‘WHAT!’

James smiles. ‘Hi!’

James happily trots away to rejoin Twilight. Octavia snaps her cello bow in the grip of her hoof. She throws down the shards of her bow and goes to her case to find a new bow. As she draws a new bow, she notices her rapier sticking out of its hiding spot.

On occasion, you have to eliminate a target in public, in front of his fillyfriend and her parents and the princesses. A safe way to do so is to poison his food. A good, strong, subtle poison that will make it look like natural causes.

James takes the bite of a refreshment. Octavia smiles and watches as the stallion starts choking. His Time Lord physiology kicks in and he expels the poison with a small belch. Twilight and her parents glare at him.

‘Excuse me.’ James blushes.

Octavia shrieks to herself and goes back to her music.

As the evening sets in, Twilight introduces James to the various nobles and important ponies at the garden party. They bow to a silver earth pony with a platinum mane.

‘Nice of him to ask about Rei,’ James says.

‘Interesting to find somepony with a positive impression of her,’ Twilight adds.

James snorts. Twilight giggles at finally getting the upper hoof on her coltfriend. The couple approach a tall unicorn stallion wearing a tuxedo and monocle. He is escorted by a tall, slender pink unicorn mare.

‘Ah! Miss Twilight Sparkle! So good to see you again!’ the unicorn stallion greets.

‘It is a pleasure, Fancy Pants,’ Twilight replies while bowing.

James lets slip an excited squeal. The three unicorns look at the earth pony. He is biting his lip, trying not to say anything.

‘My word. What has gotten into your friend?’ Fancy Pants asks.

Twilight groans and facehoofs. She sighs, ‘Just say it.’

James takes a deep breath:

♬

Chances are your pants are not as fancy as the pair

Of very fancy pants that Mr. Fancy Pants will wear

When everypony's marching in the fancy pants parade

He's gonna pass the test

He's gonna be the best

The best in terms of pants

You look in every catalog, you shop at every store

Cause even though you have a hundred pants you want some more

When suddenly you see the greatest pants you've ever seen

And even though you know

It's gonna cost a lot of dough

You have to have the world's best pants

Say a little prayer for Mr. Fancy Pants

The whole world knows

They're only clothes

And deep inside

He's sad

They make the big announcement and the trophy goes to you

You thought you had some fancy pants and now you know it's true

You look at Mr. Fancy Pants and hold the trophy high

Everypony cheers

While he's blinking back the tears

He doesn't even have the best pants

Say a little prayer for Mr. Fancy Pants

It's all he had

But don't feel bad

He'd do the same

To you

♫

Fancy Pants and Fleur stare at James in shock. Twilight groans as loud as she can while shaking her head. James smiles as wide as he can. Octavia aims her bow and prepares to launch it using her cello.

‘What a fascinating song,’ Fancy Pants laughs.

The others look at Fancy Pants in surprise. Pinkie Pie appears from nowhere, grabs Twilight and disappears with her prize in hoof.

‘Chances are you are best in everypony’s pants,’ James blurts out.

Before the unicorns can react, Pinkie reappears and snatches James as well. A cello bow passes through the spot where the earth pony stallion’s head just was.

Inside the palace, Twilight’s birthday party fills the entire ballroom. All of her friends came from Ponyville for the occasion. Everypony is playing games, enjoying all of the treats, and dancing (in Twilight’s case, very poorly). In an action that will likely end in bloodshed, James is recording Twilight’s dancing for future upload. Princess Celestia even takes a moment to stop in to greet her student (and steal a couple slices of cake). On her way to Night Court, Princess Luna greets the birthday mare. Twilight is less than thrilled when Selene shows up to challenge her to several party games.

At the end of the night, the party is winding down, with most of the ponies losing their energy. Twilight remains on the dance floor with Pinkie. James pulls Pinkie aside and whispers something to the party pony. Pinkie giggles and nods. She goes to the stereo and stops the music. Twilight jolts to a stop with the music. James steps forward and takes Twilight’s hoof.

‘Um, may I, uh, have the last dance?’ the stallion asks.

Twilight blushes and nods. Pinkie puts on a slow, romantic song for the couple. The two ponies awkwardly begin dancing together until they fit into a rhythm. The other ponies watch the couple on the dance floor. They smile at the touching scene. Night Light smiles and gives his wife a kiss.

‘I guess he is okay. They do make a great couple.’

Velvet giggles. ‘I knew you would see the light.’

Night Light takes a deep breath and exhales. ‘He is still a total nutter.’

Velvet matches her husband’s actions. ‘That is an understatement.’

Bonus Scene

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: First time meeting Twilight's parents.

Story Event: Last chapter written before I switched to use Google Drive exclusively.

Fun Fact: If you have never seen Mr Fancy Pants (or JoCo in general) performed live, you haven't lived.

Vote of Confidence

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie, Mayor Mare
Cameos: Marvel, DC, Image, Kaeko, Tim, Coal, Ruby Dart, Rei, Inkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Filthy Rich, Rachel Meadow, Carrot Top
Original Write Date: May 13, 2012

At The Chaos Theater, all the residents of the nerd district have gathered for an important debate. Marvel and DC are on the stage while the rest of the ponies are seated in the first couple rows.

‘Election season is here,’ Marvel says.

‘That means, once again, the great citizens of Ponyville have turned their eyes on us,’ DC sighs.

Inkie raises a hoof from the audience. ‘Why is that?’

‘Well...’ Marvel begins, ‘People are lazy and normally not politically active. Nerds, on the other hoof, are highly political and very organized.’

‘Since we have our own caucus,’ DC continues, ‘most ponies in the city wait until we make our endorsement to pick a candidate to back.’

‘So basically, we pick the winner?’ Stormy ask.

‘More or less,’ Marvel replies.

Stormy starts up with the evilest of laughs. Every pony seated near the unicorn moves one seat over.

‘Revenge fantasies aside, we have to pick a candidate to support,’ DC states. ‘Now, do we go with the obvious best candidate or will it make us look like we are playing favorites?’

‘Who is the obvious best?’ Kaeko asks.

‘Twilight Sparkle is running this year,’ Dream Maker answers. ‘Her character sheet is perfectly min-maxed for the job.’

‘Hai! Hikari-chan!’ Rei cheers.

‘Is she really the best candidate?’ a pony sitting in the front asks.

The theater goes silent and looks at the questioning pony. James stands up and turns to the others. Marvel lends a hoof helping his friend to the stage.

‘I know I am the last pony you would expect to hear say that, but I am not sure Twilight is the best candidate,’ James says.

‘Are you nuts? Have you seen the others?’ Coal fires back.

‘I don’t know. Pinkie makes some good points,’ Droll replies.

‘You’re insane,’ both Coal and Inkie groan.

‘Even with this major anti-Skybound sentiment in the air, Rainbow Dash is pulling a lot of support.’ Tim throws out. ‘Not just from the Pegasus community too.’

‘Don’t forget about Applejack,’ James reminds. ‘She is well-known to be hard-working and dependable. The Element of Honesty factor helps her too.’

‘So, basically,’ -- Lucas sighs -- ‘we have good reasons to support everypony except the incumbent... and Pinkie.’

‘Traditionally, we have supported the mayor,’ Marvel says, ‘but she doesn’t stack up well against Twilight’s resume.’

‘I really think we should wait on picking a candidate,’ James insists. ‘At least until after the first debate. Wait at least that long.’

‘Second!’ Image calls from the audience.

‘Boss is usually on to something... or he is cheating.’ Lucas gives a long sigh and shrugs. ‘I’m with him, too.’

‘Mr Wanderer does have a good point,’ DC says with a nod. ‘All agree to wait until after the first debate?’

Everypony cheers.

‘Good. Good.’ DC turns to James. ‘Now, do you mind telling us exactly why we should wait?’

The mayor stares at the newspaper on her desk. The headline reads: ‘Nerd Caucus Meeting Ends Without Decision’. A nervous sweat is visible all over her body, causing her dye job to run a little.

‘This is not necessarily a bad thing,’ the mayor’s political advisor says. ‘They didn’t go with their obvious bias. That means we are still in the running for their support. If we can win them over, the poll numbers will reverse instantly. You’ll see.’

At the mention of ‘poll numbers’, the mayor gets out a paper bag and starts breathing deeply. The advisor slowly starts backing out of the room.

‘Uh... I’ll leave you to your job.’ He ducks out of the room. ‘Comics are on page seven.’

The advisor closes the door behind him. The mayor calms down enough to open her newspaper past the front page. A small note falls to the desk when the mayor lifts the paper.

Twilight paces back and forth in her room. She tramples the shredded remains of a newspaper under hoof. She stops and glares at the offending headline on the Ponyville Times’ webpage. She snorts and uses her magic to close her laptop.

‘Calm down, darling. You don’t want to have an aneurism first thing after turning twenty.’

Twilight snaps her attention to a perfectly calm Rarity. The unicorn sips some tea from the breakfast Spike set out for them. Twilight stomps over to the table and sits down. She growls at the waffles on her plate.

‘So you didn’t get one endorsement,’ Rarity calmly states, ‘you are still leading in the polls and you have the backing of the unicorns, educators and most other public servants. Not to mention you have the best image consultant in Equestria.’

‘But it would have been from James...’ Twilight grumbles as she uses her magic to cut waffles.

‘Don’t worry about him,’ Rarity soothes. ‘Besides, the rumors say he has two other carts in the race.’ She smirks. ‘Or is it a cupcake and an apple?’

Twilight’s metal utensils snap under her magic. She sees red as she slowly looks at the white unicorn.

Rarity giggles. ‘Did I say rumor? I guess I meant truth.’ She sighs. ‘You really have to learn to share.’ She grins a wicked grin. ‘It is a lot more fun that way.’

‘Rarity...’ Twilight growls. ‘Let’s just plan our next move.’

Rarity giggles to herself and gets out several documents with campaign ideas. Twilight glares at her waffles again. She snorts and uses the severed head of her fork to eat.

Pinkie is having a high-level campaign meeting (tea party) with her campaign manager (Gummy), media consultant (Pumpkin Cake) and top political advisor (Pound Cake) in her campaign headquarters (bedroom). Social media director Madame la Flour is giving a presentation on the recent gains by their Twitter campaign.

‘That is good that Reindeer Paul supports our campaign. Nice work.’ Pinkie turns to the rest of her staff. ‘Now, what are we going to do about this headline?’

Pinkie tosses the morning paper onto the table. Pumpkin reaches for the paper. She tries putting it in her mouth before Pinkie retrieves it.

‘No, no. We don’t eat bad press, Pumpkin.’

Pound knocks over his cup. Pinkie quickly cleans up the mess before the baby gets upset.

‘Good suggestion, Pound, but we can’t pound all of our problems either.’

Gummy makes a croaking sound.

Pinkie blushes. ‘I-I don’t think he meant that sort of pounding, Gummy. Be-besides, I can’t really do that with Hayate James Wanderer. That might be considered a violation of campaign ethics.’

Gummy blinks one eye then the other.

‘Point taken. We’ll have to look for more, innovative ways to appeal to the voter.’

There is a knock on Pinkie’s door. Cup Cake looks in.

‘Pinkie have you seen... Oh! There they are. It is almost time for Pumpkin and Pound’s feeding.’

‘But we are in the middle of a campaign meeting,’ Pinkie protests.

‘Oh, that is so cute!’ Cup Cake coos. ‘I am sure you have the adorable endorsement for sure.’

‘Does that mean you and Mr Cake will be voting for me?’ Pinkie grins as wide as she can.

Cup Cake cringes. ‘Oh, um, well, we want to see all of the different platforms before we make our decision.’

‘I’ll put you down as a “yes”.’

Cup Cake sighs and puts her kids on her back. She starts trotting out of the room.

‘Vote.’ ‘Pinkie!’ the toddlers say.

Cup Cake stops her trotting. ‘Did they just say...?’

Pinkie grins. Cup Cake sighs, shakes her head and leaves to put the kids in their room. Gummy makes another croaking sound.

‘Yes, I do think that went well,’ Pinkie replies.

Rainbow Dash tents her hooves as she looks out her window. Fluttershy watches her friend from a distance. The cyan pony turns to face her friend and tosses the morning paper to the floor.

‘What is wrong with this headline, Fluttershy?’

‘Uh...’ The nervous pegasus examines the paper. ‘There is a three-pixel misalignment with the lower case ‘e’ on their font face?’

Rainbow Dash gives her friend a confused look. ‘No. Something more obvious than that.’

‘Uh...’

‘It is that it is not about me!’

‘Um, well, you are mentioned later in the article with the rest of our friends.’

‘That is not good enough, Fluttershy! The pony on every on everypony’s lips should be Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash should be on the tips of everypony’s tongues! Everypony should be thinking Rainbow Dash when they go to bed, wake up and during their morning shower!’

Fluttershy giggles to herself at the dirty thoughts that popped into her head. The other pegasus glares at her friend.

‘And what is so funny?’

‘EEP!’ Fluttershy hides behind her mane. ‘Nothing.’

Rainbow Dash snorts. ‘Ugh! Can’t you tell your coltfriend to tell his egghead friends to support me? We all know I am going to win. I win everything!’

‘My coltfriend...’ Fluttershy smiles and kicks at the clouds beneath her.

‘This is no time for your fantasies, Fluttershy. We have to get out there and prove to the voters that I am the best, because I am.’

‘Well, maybe you should clarify your positions on important issues facing the town.’

Rainbow Dash kicks off the ground and flies around her room while she thinks. ‘Ya know. That’s not a bad idea. Lay one on me.’

‘Well, uh, we need a bigger duck pond for the ducks.’

‘Ducks? Really?’

‘It is a very important issue. The duck family has been growing, and they need a bigger place to stay.’

‘That soooooo boooooring. Give me a real issue.’

‘The squirrels would like more oak trees in the park.’

‘Fluttershy, you’re not listening. Nopony cares about silly animal issues...’

‘I care...’

‘The voters want real issues. Something they care about.’

‘Well, the teachers are asking for a pay raise, but that would require raising taxes a little.’

‘Can’t we pay the teachers without raising taxes?’

‘Oh, no. Then we would have to take the money from somewhere else and that would make those ponies very unhappy.’

Rainbow Dash starts flying around again. ‘If we raise taxes, everypony will be unhappy. If we don’t pay our teachers, they will get upset and the foals won’t get as good an education and everypony will be unhappy.’

‘A nice, fair tax that is equal for everypony would be a good solution,’ Fluttershy hints.

‘You don’t have a foal. Do you want to pay for somepony else’s kid?’

‘Well, I might want one some day...’

‘Arg! Can’t I just go with my original idea?’

‘But where will you get the money to pay the teachers?’

‘We’ll worry about that after I’m elected.’ Rainbow Dash pats Fluttershy on the head. ‘Now! Give me another one while I’m fired up.’

Fluttershy sighs and thinks of another issue.

Applejack paces in her barn. Winona dances under the pony’s hooves, enjoying this new game of tag she found.

‘Why did Ah even do this? Ah only entered because Rainbow Dash did. Ah should jus’ quit now before Ah make a fool of mahself.’

‘Nonsense!’ a smooth voice calls from the barn door. ‘You have massive appeal. Not to mention a reputation of being the most loyal and dependable of ponies.’

Applejack turns to face her visitor. A light brown earth pony with a slicked dark grey mane smiles at the farmer. With him is his bored-looking daughter. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara cross the barn to meet the farmer.

‘Mr Rich?’ Applejack is confused by her visitors.

‘I am here to talk about your campaign, Miss Applejack,’ Filthy Rich replies. ‘I think I can help you.

‘Thank ya. Ah can use all the help Ah can get.’

‘Do I have to be here, daddy?’ Diamond Tiara whines.

‘Yer Apple Bloom’s classmate, right? She’s up in her room if ya want t’ play with her.’

The filly sighs and trots away. ‘I guess that will do.’

‘Ya mentioned ya were here t’ help,’ Applejack says to Filthy Rich.

‘That is correct, Applejack. I am here to help you become the next mayor,’ Mr Rich declares.

‘That’s nice and all, but...’

‘Don’t be so modest, Applejack! You would be perfect for the job. You have all of the qualifications of a great leader. You just need a little coaching and nopony can resist voting for you.’

‘Ah don’t know... Ah’m not sure if Ah really want t’ anymore.’

‘Oh, I forgot to mention that I also represent a small group of local business interests that would be happy to help with your campaign as well.’

‘What sort of help?’

‘Nothing too major, just some grassroots organizing, campaign awareness,’ -- he pauses and grins -- ‘monetary donations.’

Applejack’s ears perk up at the mention of money. She looks at Filthy Rich carefully. She knows his slick smile hides his true intent.

‘What would Ah have t’ do t’ get yer support?’

‘Oh, nothing major. Just make an appearance here, a small stump speech there, maybe adopt one or two pro-business policies, and be willing to accept all of our guidance with all the dignity and candor you are known for.’

The business pony extends a hoof. Applejack thinks hard about the subject. She slowly reaches out a hoof and shakes on the deal.

‘Ah guess that sounds all right but if the deal starts stinkin’, Ah am walkin’.’

‘You won’t regret it one bit, Mayor Applejack.’

Working at The Power Block has gotten a lot harder. Three campaigning ponies are trying to win the support of a single constituent. To keep them from disrupting business, James is meeting with Twilight, Pinkie, and Applejack in his office.

‘If you are really trying to win over the caucus, you should be next door,’ James groans.

‘Y’all have a lot more pull than ya think,’ Applejack counters. ‘Now, are ya gonna support me or not?’

‘Like he is going to support you,’ Twilight scoffs. ‘I am logically the best candidate. Everypony knows that.’

‘Fudge it!’ Pinkie shouts as she pulls a tray of confection from behind her back.

James stares at the tray of fudge and licks his lips.

‘That is bribery!’ Twilight accuses.

‘And yer waving yer tail under his snout ain’t?’

Twilight gasps. ‘Just because you’re jealous of our relationship...’

‘Ah ain’t jealous of nothin’! Ah jus’ know how t’ play fair and that ain’t playin’ fair when it comes t’ elections.’

James wipes some fudge from his face. ‘Ladies, please. You know me better than that. You know I cannot be swayed by simple gifts of delicious, delicious fudge. Stormy learned that quite painfully when I rejected his attempt to get me to save his mother.’

The mares frown and look away. James takes another bite of fudge and moans in pleasure.

‘My fillyfriend is going to kill me, but I am eating this all tonight,’ the gamer sighs.

‘Of course I’m going to kill you!’ all three mares shout.

Twilight and Pinkie catch Applejack in the shout and look at their friend. The farmer looks away and tries to act innocent. There is a knock on door.

‘Um, James, do you have a minute?’ Fluttershy peeks into the office. She squeaks when she sees it is occupied. ‘Oh, I can come back later.’

‘It is fine, Fluttershy. We were done here,’ James says before taking another mouthful of fudge.

Twilight snorts and slides the tray away from the stallion. Fluttershy creeps into the office. Her friends make room for her.

‘Actually, this isn’t for me. Rainbow Dash was...’

Everypony in the room groans. After a second, James snaps to attention. He turns to the door.

‘Lucas! You’re fired! I heard you laughing. And Rei, that was not what you were thinking. You’re grounded.’

‘OH COME ON!’ the younger ponies shout from the store.

James sighs and looks at Fluttershy. ‘Sorry, but I am not going to support a candidate yet.’

Fluttershy frowns and whines.

‘Don’ feel bad, sugarcube,’ Applejack comforts. ‘We all know how thick-skulled stallions can be. They jus’ need a bit of action t’ get through that noggin of theirs.’

‘Action... Right.’ Fluttershy nods.

There is a crash. The two mares look over to see James flailing on his desk while Twilight levitates the fudge above him. The older mares groan at the scene.

‘...Celestia bless Ponyville and Celestia bless Equestria!’

Rainbow Dash trots to the back of a stage. The crowd she was addressing cheers loudly. The pegasus laughs to herself as she opens a bottle of water with her wings. After a long drink, she looks around the room and sees the pony she wants to see.

‘Fluttershy!’ Rainbow Dash smiles. ‘Is your coltfriend on our side?’

Fluttershy kicks the ground. ‘Um. No.’

‘What? Why not?’

‘He, uh, doesn’t want to support anypony yet.’

‘Arg! He can be such a mule sometimes.’

‘Um, speaking of mules, did you have to say the things you said about them in your speech?’

Rainbow Dash smiles. ‘You like it? I got the idea from Trixie.’

‘She told you to use a lot of doublespeak and make contradicting promises?’

The cyan pegasus rubs the back of her head. ‘Well, no, but her act inspired me to put on a show. Crowds really eat that stuff up.’

Fluttershy crosses her forelegs. ‘I prefer her new show.’

‘Whatever. If we can keep getting crowds like that, not even Twilight can stop us.’

Fluttershy sighs and shakes her head. ‘If you keep saying what you said, she won’t need to stop you.’

Rainbow Dash hits Fluttershy hard on the back. ‘That’s the spirit! Glad to have you on my side.’

The yellow pegasus growls as she rubs her sore back.

A sharp jab in the back wakes Rei at the end of class. She looks behind her at an impassive Stormy.

‘Ready for lunch?’ the unicorn asks.

‘Are you buying?’ Rei asks followed by a yawn.

Stormy groans and gets up. Rei snorts and joins him and Image by the door. A sharp whistle cuts the group off.

‘Rei, Stormy, Image, I want to talk to you.’

The three young ponies groan and go to the teacher’s desk. Lyra sits with her hind legs up as she plays her lyre.

‘So.... I hear you three are of voting age now, and you are part of the Nerd Caucus,’ the teacher muses. ‘How very interesting.’

Image moans and facehoofs. ‘You talked about what candidate you support for most of the period. No more. Please.’

‘While I am by no means associated with the campaign, I am prepared to make you an offer if you are willing to support my candidate of choice.’

‘That is a violation of election ethics,’ Stormy sighs. ‘We could have you arrested.’

‘Bon Bon and I are prepared to offer you all the confection you can eat if you support my candidate.’

‘We’re leaving,’ Stormy groans.

The two colts turn and leave. Rei remains standing by the desk, staring at her teacher.

‘Tell me more of this wondrous candidate of yours,’ Rei says, barely containing the drool while thinking of the candy she will be getting.

‘Well, the most important platform Pinkie Pie has taken was promising everypony a human if she is elected... Wait! Where are you going?’

The two colts carry the smaller filly away. Rei reaches back towards the desk, flying as hard as she can to break free.

‘No! The candy needs me!’

Twilight and Rarity confer before the first debate. Twilight goes over her notecards while Rarity styles her friend’s mane. She closes her eyes and gives a big sigh.

‘Feeling stressed?’ Rarity asks.

‘More than I should be,’ Twilight sighs. ‘I was fine with debate in school, but we never had such a big crowd. I’m scared of being made a fool publicly.’

‘It will okay, deary. I peeked out front. Only James and his friends are out there. It is a very friendly crowd. Just stick to your lines and you’ll do fine. Once we have their support, it will all be over.’

Twilight takes a few deep breaths. ‘Right. You can do this, Twilight.’

‘If it helps, I have a piece of advice I give my models before a show,’ Rarity offers.

‘I’ll take all the help I can get.’

The older unicorn puts her front hooves on her friend’s shoulders. ‘You are going to do fine. If anypony gives you a hard time, I will pay you a bounty of ten bits to lay the smack down on him. Now get out there and do your best!’

‘You really pay your models to attack your patrons?’

Rarity looks away. ‘Sometimes they need a reminder to keep their hooves off the girls. Or somepony’s coltfriend needs a wake up call... or ten.’

‘That one is your own fault for inviting him,’ Twilight laughs.

Rarity scowls. ‘Go back to your notecards.’
…

Applejack gets some last-minute coaching from Filthy Rich. She is studying some notecards of her own.

‘You don’t want to attack your opponents directly. You want to hit their policies. If they have a policy that is similar to ours, make it seem like their idea is radical and ours is mainstream.’

‘But if we have a similar idea, shouldn’ we work t’gther t’ get it done?’

‘Compromise means getting them to agree to our side of view.’

‘That don’ sound right...’

‘Don’t worry. Stick to our talking points and you’ll do fine.’

‘Yeah... ‘bout those. Do we really need t’ cut business taxes so much? Won’ that hurt the town’s income?’

‘Not at all! More money in the hooves of business owners means they can spend it on their business or hire more employees. Don’t you want to have more money for your farm at the end of the day?’

Applejack scratches the back of her head. ‘Ah guess that makes sense...’

‘It is almost time for them to call you. I’ll give you a moment to prepare yourself.’

Filthy Rich leaves Applejack to her thoughts. The farm pony moans to herself.

‘Applejack, what have ya gotten yerself int’?’

The candidates are on stage. The mayor nervously looks at the confident mares around her. Applejack appears to have her head bowed in prayer. (She is really contemplating reasons to stay in the race.) Twilight appears to be analyzing the crowd. (She is really staring at one audience member in particular who is chatting with Fluttershy.) Rainbow Dash appears to be studying her fellow debaters. (She is really watching the debater glaring at her campaign advisor.) Pinkie appears to be eating a daffodil sandwich. (She is really eating a daisy sandwich.) The mayor groans at the prospect of a difficult debate for the first time in her career.

The audience for the debate is sparse at best. Aside from the whole Nerd Caucus, Lyra and Bon Bon watch from separate locations, with Bon Bon sitting near the back in case she needs to make a quick dash to get her marriage annulled. The Apple Family is out in full force to cheer their favorite candidate. Diamond Tiara sits with the Apples as a show of support for her father’s candidate. A small cross section of the town makes up the rest of the crowd including Carrot Top, Derpy, Berryshine Punch, Colgate, Caramel and Raindrops.

A brown earth pony mare steps on the stage. She is wearing a headset microphone. ‘Welcome to the first to two mayoral debates. I am editor and chief of the local branch of EqD, Rachel Meadow. I will be the moderator for the debates. As this is a town hall debate, we will pass the mic off to you, the audience, to ask the questions. Let’s begin.’

Meadow climbs off the stage, carrying a microphone to the first questioner. Marvel clears his throat.

‘Yes, my question is for Miss Applejack.’

Applejack snaps out of her haze. ‘What? I’m here. Whatcha askin’?’

‘Right... I have noticed that you are getting support from a local group of businesses.’

‘That is correct. They’re helpin’ me out.’

‘My question is, did you know that none of the businesses in that group sell products made in Equestria?’

Applejack’s eyes go wide. She looks for Filthy Rich for any sign of support, but the business pony is nowhere to be seen.

‘Well, uh, Ah didn’ rightly know that, but is it really a bad thin’ fer a company t’ try and make all the bits it can? Ah mean, they employ Ponyville folks and help them make a livin’. And in the end, ain’t that best fer Ponyville?’

Applejack puts on the widest smile she can without seeming too uncomfortable. Marvel narrows his gaze at the farmer as he takes his seat. He makes some quick notes on a pad. Twilight laughs to herself.

‘Y’all got somethin’ t’ say over there!’

‘Nothing.’

‘Didn’ sound like nothing.’

‘Miss Sparkle, would you mind sharing your thought with us?’ Meadow asks.

‘I was just thinking about how somepony who is so proud of her Ponyville heritage gets funded by ponies who are moving jobs from Equestria.’

‘Well, at least Ah’m from Ponyville!’ Applejack shouts. ‘The rest of y’all ain’t even from here!’

‘I’m from...’ the mayor tries to interject.

‘It just goes to show that you need somepony from out of town to solve your problems’ -- Rainbow Dash poses -- ‘and I am the pony to solve them.’

‘Jus’ wait a dern minute...’

‘Ahem! I will remind the candidates that hometown of origin is a moot matter as you have all been in Ponyville long enough to qualify to run for mayor.’

Rainbow Dash sticks her tongue at Applejack. The farmer grumbles to herself. Meadow moves to the next questioner. Lyra levitates the microphone in front of her.

‘I just want to say, Pinkie is the greatest candidate ever. I love your policies. Thank you so much for running.’

‘Thank you for the kind words.’ Pinkie smiles. Her expression changes to one of seriousness and she slams a hoof on her podium. ‘A human in every garage, and a muffin in every stomach!’

‘Yay, Pinkie! Woohoo!’ Derpy cheers.

All of the other candidates groan.

‘Y’all are one wheel shy of a wagon,’ Applejack mumbles.

Pinkie thinks for a moment. ‘Good thing I have plenty of fruitcake to make a new one if needed.’

Applejack facehoofs. Meadow looks for a new questioner and is waved back to DC.

‘Just a general question for all of the candidates,’ DC says. ‘How do you propose meeting potential budget shortfalls?’

‘That is a good question,’ Meadow comments. ‘Let’s start with the mayor and go around the stage.’

The mayor tenses up from actually getting called on. ‘Well, uh, I would face those problems with good fiscal discipline and tight accountability.’

‘Discipline nothin’! Y’all need t’ cut useless programs and, uh, ease up on the regulations so us ponyfolk don’ have t’ pay fer stuff that don’ work.’

‘If the budget is falling, then I will be there to catch it!’ Pinkie declares. ‘Catch it on a nice cushiony pillow or maybe a bale of hay. Ooo! A pile of feathers. No, that might not be cushiony enough. Get back to me!’

Twilight groans. ‘I have outlined a multi-point policy of streamlined budgeting and various fair tax increases on the higher earners that will not only balance the current budget but prevent possible shortfalls for the foreseeable future.’

Most of the crowd stomp in approval.

‘Pfft! Did Future Twilight help you with that?’ Rainbow Dash jeers. ‘What we don’t need now are new taxes and cutting programs that ponies enjoy! What we need now is better budgeting and more revenue for the town!’

Fluttershy double facehoofs and tries to hide. The crowd cheers for Rainbow Dash’s proposals as loud as they did for Twilight. The alicorn growls at her friend. Meadow starts looking for the next question. Twilight’s emotions go from anger at a friend to fear for her life when the moderator steps up to James.

‘Question for Miss Sparkle.’

Twilight ducks behind her podium.

‘Given that you have close ties to all three other princesses, what is keeping you from calling in a favor and having them certify you as mayor now? Surely your tight bond with the royals that rule the nation has earned you a little nepotism, princess.’

The crowd stomps in support of the question. Twilight gives a shy squeak and tries hiding more. Her friends on stage all gets smug grins as they stare at the nervous alicorn.

‘Go on, Twilight,’ Applejack laughs.

‘Yeah, we’d love to hear your answer, princess,’ Rainbow Dash goads.

‘Please don’t badger the other candidates,’ Meadow warns.

Pinkie quickly hides a large rodent she was holding out. Twilight moans and stand to the mic.

‘Yes, I do have close, personal ties with Celestia, Luna and Cadence. Cadence is my sister-in-law after all. But, I do not ask them for favors nor would I abuse my title for political gain. I may go to the others for advice on an issue, but I would weigh their guidance equally with that of my friends, who I would ask as well.’

The crowd murmurs as they ponder the answer. Twilight’s friends on stage look down as they feel bad for pushing their friend. Backstage, Rarity cackles and adds ten more bits to a small pile of money. Twilight takes a calming breath and glares at her coltfriend. Jim winks. A nearby unicorn levitates the mic to himself.

‘Yeah, uh, my question is for Dash,’ Stormy says.

‘Bring it,’ Rainbow Dash replies.

‘Yeah, given the pegasi’s past as being the more aggressive of the tribes and Skybound’s recent actions,’ -- the lone pegasus grimaces from her podium -- ‘what is your opinion on Equestria’s military?’

Rainbow Dash exhales. ‘I think that our military is strong enough to handle anything, but it could be stronger as long as funding it doesn’t come at the expense of decent, hard-working ponies. It should only be used for peaceful ventures and intervening in situations where Equestria’s security is threatened.’ She takes a moment to make sure the crowd is thoroughly confused. ‘Celestia bless Equestria!’

A number of the crowd stomp their hooves in support of the last statement. The rest of the audience tries to figure out what Rainbow Dash just said. Even Pinkie has a tough time following the logic. Meadow takes the microphone and goes to a questioner who is calmly raising her wing.

‘Thank you.’ Kaeko bows to Meadow. ‘I run a shop that specializes in items imported from Neighpon. I would like to know what the candidates’ opinions on the various import fees are. I am sure Applejack has strong opinions about them, given her supporters.’

The farm pony starts sweating. The other candidates, except for Twilight, ponder answers of their own. After a few quiet moments, Meadow clears her throat.

‘How about this time we start with Rainbow Dash and head the other direction?’

Rainbow Dash jumps and tries finishing her response. ‘Well, uh, import fees should be lowered so businesses can bring more goods to market, but, uh, we also need a way to keep markets fair so that Equestrian products are not displaced by foreign goods.’

Twilight shakes her head and laughs. ‘Or we can do something realistic. If I am elected mayor, I will work with my fellow mayors across Equestria and push for better free trade agreements that will allow the flow of goods to and from our markets from around the world. I agree with my opponent that Sweet Apple Acres apples are the best apples in Equestria, and we should be able to export them for ponies, zebras, griffins and all the creatures of the world to enjoy.’

The audience cheers at Twilight’s response. The mayor faints. Rarity checks her purse and considers making a run to the nearest ATM.

‘Shoot. That would be great,’ Applejack mumbles to herself.

Once Meadow has calmed the audience, she turns to the candidates. Pinkie helps the mayor regain consciousness. The moderator sighs. ‘Do any of the other candidates wish to answer?’

As the only conscious candidate left to answer, Applejack hastily shakes her head.

‘Excuse me,’ a voice comes from behind Meadow.

The moderator turns to a plum earth pony with a mulberry mane.

‘I think we should at least get Applejack’s response on business taxes, given her supporters,’ Berry Punch says.

Berry looks around at the other ponies. Most nod and murmur in agreement.

Applejack groans. ‘Fine.’ She sighs. ‘T’ be honest, Ah ain’t that upset ‘bout businesses payin’ their due, but Ah wouldn’ mind easin’ up on them a bit. Shoot. Ah know it would help out the farm a bit. Not t’ mention all the regulations and paperwork t’ run mah stall.’

Berry nods. Carrot Top leans over and the two mares start talking. Meadow looks for another questioner and is waved down by a blue unicorn with a blue and blue-grey mane.

‘Rainbow Dash, it is good seeing a pegasus showing the world that you are not all like Skybound,’ Colgate says.

The pegasi in the audience cheer while Rainbow Dash takes a bow.

Colgate laughs a bit at the reaction. ‘Anyway, I am a little confused by some of your policies. Can you please clarify your stance on any of them?’

‘Is there one in particular you would like to hear?’ Meadow asks.

‘Um... How about her thoughts on budgeting?’

Rainbow Dash grimaces as she tries to think of a new dodge. Twilight laughs as she waits for her friend to hang herself. Fluttershy sighs in relief that the campaign will soon be over. The thinking pegasus grins.

‘The budget should be made with plenty of input about what should be considered, and I will make executive decisions about key items. We will pay for what we need and get rid of what we don’t, but we shouldn’t change anything that works.’

‘Uh... thanks?’ Colgate replies.

Rainbow Dash gives a quick, smug laugh. Twilight and Fluttershy sigh. She did not trap herself yet. Twilight tenses as Meadow returns to James. He smiles at Twilight as he takes the microphone again.

‘Want-it Need-it spell.’

Twilight holds back her rage at the stallion. The members of the audience starts murmuring about their experience with the spell. The other ponies on stage cover their laughs at their friend. Before the furious mare can reply, Rei takes the microphone from her father.

‘Hold on! I was promised candy for supporting Pinkie! Where is the candy?’

Bon Bon takes Rei’s question as a cue to get up and find somepony who can divorce her and Lyra.

‘I didn’t promise anypony a candy party,’ Pinkie replies, ‘but I will give you and everypony a huge candy party if I am elected!’

‘Yay! You are the best ever, Pinkie-chan!’

Meadow growls and takes the microphone back. She looks for a new questioner. Twilight growls at James. He smiles and mouths ‘I love you’ before sitting down. He looks over and winks at Pinkie while the next question is being asked.

The mayor’s political advisor pokes his head into his employer’s office. He looks around and finds no sign of the mayor. He sighs and closes the door behind him. On the desk is the most recent edition of the Ponyville Times. Under her desk, the mayor breathes a sigh of relief but refuses to come out of hiding.

At another campaign meeting/tea party, Pinkie is reading the newspaper article about the recent debate. Gummy leaps as he hopelessly tries to catch a ball the Cake twins are passing back and forth. Pinkie sets down the paper.

‘Looks like everything is going just the way we want it to,’ Pinkie beams. ‘Now! Who wants some more tea?’

Fluttershy stares down at the floor of Rainbow Dash’s home. The cyan pegasus is drifting around the room with an evil grin on her face. Pro-Rainbow Dash chanting can be heard coming from the ground below the cloud house.

‘Hear that! They love me!’ Rainbow Dash laughs.

‘That is because they didn’t understand you were misleading them,’ Fluttershy sighs.

‘Well, I wasn’t not misleading them. Besides, we got the most politically charged groups backing us now! I am a shoo-in.’

‘They are only backing you because you are promising both sides’ platforms. If they were really paying attention, it would be a war zone down there.’

‘It is not my fault they were mislead. I was only saying things they wanted to hear in a manner that would earn their support.’

Fluttershy glares at her friend. ‘Please don’t try those tactics on me. New Fluttershy doesn’t appreciate it.’

‘Sorry.’ Rainbow Dash grimaces. ‘Hey! We should start thinking deputy mayors. I’m thinking Raindrops. She always has my back with the weather patrol. I think she’d be good helping me as mayor.’

‘But...’

‘Oh, did you want it? It is a really public position. I didn’t think you could handle the pressure.’

‘It is not that...’ Fluttershy moans. She gives her friend a weak smile. ‘Let’s get you prepped for another speech. I am sure your supporters would like it.’

‘That’s the spirit! First Rainbow Dash for mayor! Then Rainbow Dash for parliament!’

‘You’d fit right in with the way you play politics,’ the frustrated pegasus grumbles.

‘Thanks for the support!’

Rainbow Dash slaps her friend on the back, causing the other pegasus to growl.

Filthy Rich has convinced Applejack to break out the celebratory cider. Her poll numbers shot up after the debate, and she is now in a three-way race against Twilight and Rainbow Dash. While the business pony feels like celebrating, the farm pony continues to question her campaign.

‘Great job! I knew you would soar after the debate!’ Filthy Rich congratulates. ‘The voters loved your honesty, even if you were off message a bit.’

‘Right...’ Applejack groans. ‘That’s good, right?’

‘It is fantastic! Miss Dash’s base is shaky at best. One good push and it will topple into our camp. Then with her out, Miss Sparkle will fall just as easily.’

‘Ah don’ know... Twilight had some good ideas. Some Ah could really get behind.’

Mr Rich laughs and shakes his head. ‘Applejack, we can’t support them just yet. If they are good enough, we’ll consider them after we have won.’

‘Ah guess... She did have some kind things t’ say ‘bout me last night, though...’

There is a knock on the door. The two ponies look up to see Carrot Top standing outside.

‘Hey Carrot Top!’ Applejack greets. ‘What can Ah do ya fer?’

The gardener enters the room. ‘Um, well, I was talking with some of the other gardeners, growers and farmers after the debate. We want to support your campaign, but, uh, can we talk in private?’

Filthy Rich gets up. ‘Go right ahead. We were done for the day.’ The business pony trots out of the room. ‘I’ll bring by a list of potential staff members tomorrow.’

Applejack groans and nods her head. Once the stallion is gone, Carrot Top sits across from the upset pony.

‘Is everything okay?’ the gardener asks.

‘Jus’ peachy!’ Applejack tries her best fake grin. Before her guest can call her out, she asks, ‘Ya wanted t’ talk with me privately?’

Carrot Top sighs. ‘Yes. It has to do with why you are “peachy” too. The other growers and I are concerned about what Filthy Rich and his business friends are doing to you. Those that don’t see you in the market every day might not notice, but we can see the stress he is putting on you.’

‘Yer right,’ Applejack moans. ‘Ah was jus’ so excited t’ get support from his group that Ah didn’ really think t’ hard about the consequences.’

‘It is okay.’ Carrot Top puts a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. ‘You should come out to the market. Some real work might put your mind at ease.’

‘Ya got a point...’

‘Also, Colton suggested that we hold a party of some sort at his vineyard to celebrate our new candidate.’

‘Ah guess that sound fun.’ The farmer narrows her gaze. ‘There won’t be much drinkin’, will there?’

Carrot Top laughs. ‘Only if you want it.’

The two earth ponies stand from the table. They shake hooves before splitting up.

Twilight paces back and forth in her room. She tramples the shredded remains of a newspaper under hoof. She stops and glares at the offending headline on the Ponyville Times’ webpage. She snorts and uses her magic to close her laptop.

‘Calm down, darling. I don’t see what you are so upset about. You slaughtered them last night.’

Twilight snaps her attention to a perfectly calm Rarity. The unicorn sips some tea from the breakfast Spike set out for them. Twilight stomps over to the table and sits down. She growls at the waffles on her plate.

‘Not to mention you broke my wallet. I never had a single pony I coached make so much in one night.’

‘I don’t care about the money. Did you see the numbers?’

‘We expected this. Most of the voters were undecided and waiting for your coltfriend’s group to make their announcement. They got a taste of the others, but they still liked your taste more.’ Rarity giggles. ‘I guess they now know why James likes you.’

‘Rarity!’ Twilight snaps.

The unicorn giggles into her tea.

The red-faced Twilight turns away from her friend. ‘James and I aren’t like that... We agreed to take it slow...’ she mumbles.

‘Since we brought him up, any word about when we’ll be getting their support?’

Twilight gives a low growl. ‘After the way he attacked me last night...’

‘He was only testing you, darling.’ I hope. ‘He was making sure you were ready for the tough questions.’

‘He brought up the princesses, Smarty Pants and my fight with Pinkie. How can there be tougher questions?’

‘Well, you do know time travel magic. Also, the brat helped you completely dodge the mind control topic. Not to mention that you personally are the sworn enemy of the Queen of the Changelings.’ Rarity takes another sip of her tea. She can see the stress and rage building in her friend. She sighs and sets down her drink. ‘Do you wish to discuss potential running mates?’

Twilight groans. She takes a bite of her waffles while she thinks. ‘Honestly, I would like the mayor or Applejack. Having somepony with some political experience or my most honest friend would be a great help if I needed advice on a subject.’

Rarity gapes. ‘I am not your most honest friend?! I feel insulted.’

‘Since you brought up money earlier, shall we talk about your overdue book fines?’

‘I, uh, still need those for reference.’

Rarity takes another sip of her tea. She uses the levitation spell on her cup to cover up her texting. Twilight sighs and goes back to her breakfast.

A hard day of work is just what Applejack needed. She is feeling a lot more relaxed not having to think about her campaign. She serves a customer a large bag of apples.

‘That’ll be three bits,’ Applejack says with a smile.

The customer pays the price. ‘Thank you. Wait. You’re that one candidate for mayor, aren’t you?’

‘Heh, heh. Yeah. That’s me.’

‘I didn’t expect any of you would be out working like the rest of us.’

‘Well, Ah needed a break from all of the hullabaloo. ‘Sides, somepony has t’ make some sells if we’re gonna feed the family.’

‘It is good to hear you are a real pony like the rest of us, not some slick business pony only obsessed with profit like the media makes you out to be. You have my support.’

The customer nods to Applejack and trots away.

Applejack sighs. ‘Right... Business pony.’

Further down the street, Pinkie trots past with a sign on her back. It reads: ‘Cake is a lie. Pie isn’t’. She trots down the street, oblivious to the stares she is getting. She soon trots past where Twilight is helping the local get-out-the-vote campaign. She gives a flyer to a passing pony.

‘Don’t forget to vote!’ Twilight cheers.

‘Ugh. Trying to win over more voters,’ the pony groans.

‘Actually, I just want you to get out and vote,’ the alicorn corrects. ‘I don’t really mind if you vote for another candidate, just as long as you participate.’

The pony eyes the smiling unicorn. ‘Consider yourself a bit of a community organizer, do we?’

Twilight is a little surprised as the other pony trots away. Down the street, Stormy trots towards the library with a pack full of books. He carefully avoids the princess as per his employer’s instructions. While looking for more potential voters, Derpy flies down and looks at Twilight’s efforts.

‘You’re not being real subtle about what you’re doing,’ the pegasus comments.

‘What? I am just trying to get more ponies to vote. It is very important to the...’

‘I would have printed your fliers on lavender paper or found some way to work your cutie mark into the graphic. You know, keep it subliminal.’

‘I’m not trying to campaign.’

‘Don’t worry!’ Derpy calls as she flies away. ‘Sparkler and I both think you’re the best. Dinky too, but she’s too young to vote yet.’

Derpy continues on her mail route, which takes her past The Power Block. Inside the building, James and Fluttershy are talking in his office. The stallion has his eyes closed as thinks.

‘Why are you telling me this?’ James asks.

‘Well, I would go to one of the others, but I don’t really trust Applejack’s advisors, the mayor is in hiding, Rainbow Dash is watching Twilight closer than normal, and Pinkie...’

‘She’s currently making the space core look sane.’

‘Right.’

James sighs. ‘I’ll find a way to pass this information on to the right ponies.’

‘Um... James...’

‘Yes, Fluttershy?’

‘Well, um, would you...’

‘Boss!’ Lucas calls from the counter. ‘Your tutoring appointment is here.’

Fluttershy sighs and gets up. ‘Maybe later...’

The pegasus trots out of the office with her head down while Apple Bloom prances in.

Days pass and the second mayoral debate rolls around. With still no decision from the Nerd Caucus, the candidates are on edge. The tightening race between the three top candidates is not making matters any easier. To take her mind off the debate, Rainbow Dash is doing wing push-ups backstage. Fluttershy watches her friend.

‘Nothing like a good workout to clear the mind, right, Fluttershy?’

‘I prefer a good book, but I’ve been getting plenty of fiction from you lately.’

Rainbow Dash slip from her stance and crashes to the floor. ‘Whoa! What is with the attitude?’

‘I am really upset with how your campaign has been going. I think you are playing with dangerous elements, courting two opposing sides like this.’

‘Don’t worry. It will be all over soon.’

Fluttershy marches away. ‘After tonight, I am sure it will all be over.’

‘Thanks for the support!’

Fluttershy shudders and screams.
…

Filthy Rich paces backstage as he waits for his candidate to arrive. He checks his watch and growls. The door to the backstage opens, and Applejack tumbles in, supported by Carrot Top.

‘AH’M HERE!’ Applejack calls. ‘Sorry Ah’m a mite late. Colton’s mixer went a little too well.’

‘Is she drunk?!’ Flithy Rich exclaims.

‘Ah ain’t drunk! Them’s fightin’ words!’

Applejack holds up her front hooves to box the stallion and immediately faceplants. Carrot Top helps her friend up.

‘I’m sorry, Mr Rich,’ Carrot Top apologizes. ‘She got going a little too much and even insisted on breaking out the stronger stuff. You might have to tell the moderator she can’t make it.’

‘Can’ make it, nothin’!’ the drunken pony shouts. ‘Ah got somethin’ important t’ say and Ah mean t’ say it!’

The other mare sighs and looks at the stallion. ‘If you want this campaign to last, you will find her brother before she is called on stage.’

Filthy Rich grimaces and gallops away to find Big Macintosh. Carrot Top breathes a sigh of relief.

‘Y’all didn’ tell him that Big Mac’s back at the vineyard, did ya?’

‘I did not and when Big Macintosh finds out you’re not in the little filly’s room...’

Applejack puts a hoof over Carrot Top’s mouth. ‘Carrot? Can y’all hold mah hair fer a moment?’
…

Twilight paces around her backstage area. She has dozens of notecards floating in front of her as she tries to memorize all of the different policy questions she might be asked as well as any potential torpedoes James might have ready. Off to the side, Rarity works on some sewing.

‘Twilight, I think it is time for me to tell you something I tell all of my models...’ Rarity sighs.

‘Yes, yes. Ten bits per smackdown. You told me last time.’

‘No, not that. It is another important stress relief technique.’

Twilight stops her pacing. ‘I’ll take anything.’

‘Good.’ Rarity levitates a few notebooks from her pack. ‘Here are some of my sketchbooks. Feel free to take one into the washroom for, uh, stress relief purposes. Just remember to clean up afterwards. Try not to get my books messy. Stormy hasn’t scanned them all yet.’

The younger pony turns beet red. ‘Are you telling me I should..?’

‘It is proven to be a stress relief. The release of endorphins calms the mind and serves as a natural muscle relaxant.’

Twilight stares at her friend in disbelief.

Rarity calmly flips through her books. ‘Ah! Here.’ She levitates a book to Twilight. ‘This one has some speculative theory on your coltfriend. You might enjoy it.’

Twilight stares at the book for several seconds. She looks up at her friend, who is ‘reading’ one of the others. She hesitantly opens the book for a peek. Her face goes even redder and she teleports away. The sound of the nearby washroom being locked is heard. Rarity calmly turns the page and keeps ‘reading’.

After hearing about the excitement of the last debate, the audience is standing room only. On the left side of the hall, the local Occupy movement has made camp. As far from them as possible on the right, the local Tea Party, lead by Scootaloo’s father, have a protest of their own. Various groups of support for the other candidates station themselves around the town hall. Standing in the back, Lyra is waving a sign that reads ‘High Five for Pinkie Pie’. At the center of the audience, the Nerd Caucus is conferring about making their final decision soon after the debate. A still-upset Fluttershy sits with James. Rachael Meadow steps out on stage and signals for calm. The audience settles down.

‘Thank you, everypony, for coming out tonight for our second debate. We have a rather full house tonight, and I am sure we all have questions for the candidates. If we can all behave in a responsible manner, I am sure we will have a spirited time. Now, let’s meet the candidates.’

The audience stomp in approval as the candidates trot on stage. They each go to their podiums, though Pinkie has to help Applejack after she goes to the wrong podium.

‘Each of the candidates have prepared a short statement. Miss Dash, will you lead us off?’

‘Thank you, Miss Meadow,’ Rainbow Dash replies. She clears her throat and opens her mouth to talk.

‘Rainbow, Ahmma let y’all finish, but Ah have somethin’ important to say,’ Applejack interrupts. She smiles at the audience. ‘Howdy, y’all! Ah’m Applejack. Now, Ah’ve been runnin’ in this here race fer a bit now, and Ah’m sure y’all have heard ‘bout me and mah supporters positions on thin’s. Ah jus’ wanna say that after listenin’ t’ mah friends the other night, Ah like the sound o’ what they have t’ say, especially mah friend Twilight.’ She waves. ‘Hi, Twilight! Ah got int’ this mess as a way o’ competin’ ‘gainst mah friend Rainbow, mostly ‘cause Ah knew she’d be spoutin’ all sorts o’ hooey like she is now. After a lot o’ thought and talkin’ with mah real supporters - the farmers not the business types - Ah decided t’ drop out o’ this here race. Ah ain’t doin’ nopony no good bein’ up here. Now, can somepony hold mah hair fer a moment? Ah need t’ step out fer a bit.’

Applejack quickly gallops offstage. Everypony stares in shock. A number of well-dressed ponies quickly make their way out of the building. Meadow pauses before clearing her throat to gain everypony’s attention.

‘Well, uh, that was unexpected. Let’s get back to scheduled events. Miss Dash?’

‘Right.’ Rainbow Dash nods. ‘Celestia bless Ponyville!’ The crowd cheers. ‘Now, I’m no egghead like Twilight, but I do know a thing or two about how the world works. We need to have lower taxes,’ -- the right side of the hall cheers -- ‘but we need make higher earners pay their share,’ -- the left side of the hall cheers. ‘We need to hold business responsible for their actions,’ -- the left side of the hall cheers -- ‘as well as easing up on regulations,’ -- the right side of the hall cheers. ‘We need to crack down on immigration while making citizenship easier to attain. We will make sure what needs to be funded gets funded while cutting programs. Rain and shine, we will make the future Rainbow!’

Rainbow feeds off of the cheering coming from both sides of the hall, posing and saluting her supporters. Meadow tries to calm the crowd.

‘That is it!’ Twilight snaps. ‘Are you insane or just stupid?! Rainbow has been saying only contradictory statements this entire campaign! She hasn’t taken a clear stance once! She is manipulating both sides of the debate to her favor! Have you even paid attention just now?’ She turns to the right. ‘Didn’t you hear’ -- she points at the left -- ‘them cheering at all of the things you were silent for just now? I know you are willfully ignorant because of the positions you take on issues, but are you also blind to Rainbow abusing you like that?’ She takes a few deep breaths to try and calm down. ‘And don’t get me started on Pinkie’s insanity! ARG!’

Twilight teleports off stage. The audience stares in shock. Backstage, Rarity sighs.

‘I should have used that trick Allie Way taught me.’

Out front, the crowd starts murmuring. The leader of Occupy looks over at Scootaloo’s father. They nod and turn towards Rainbow Dash.

‘Oh, pony feathers.’

Rainbow dashes away, leaving a nice rainbow-colored trail for the angry mobs to follow. A number of other ponies in the audience get up and leave as well. Pinkie looks around the stage and smiles.

‘I think I am going to check on my friends. Bye!’

Pinkie happily hops off stage, leaving only the mayor. With only one candidate left on stage, the audience starts leaving en masse. James looks over at Marvel, and the two stallions nod. The Nerd Caucus stands and starts leaving as well. James gives Fluttershy a kiss on the cheek before following his friends. Soon, only a hoofful of ponies are left in the hall. Meadow stares out at the empty room.

‘Uh.... Any questions for the mayor?’

Fluttershy looks around. Seeing no opposition, she raises a hoof. ‘The duck family has been growing, and they need a bigger place to stay. Are you willing to fund a project to expand the duck pond by another meter of two?’

The next morning, a press conference is being held at The Chaos Theater. Marvel steps out to the microphones. He is flanked by Twilight and Applejack. Applejack looks hungover from the previous night. Behind them, James and DC watch the show.

Marvel clears his throat. ‘Thank you for coming out today. As you can assume, our caucus has made a decision on which candidate to support. No, it is not one of these fine ladies beside me, though they helped with the decision. We have decided to combine all of our support behind the current mayor. Of the remaining candidates, we feel she is the best for the job.’

‘Does that mean that Miss Sparkle is dropping from the race?’ a reporter shouts.

‘Keep it down, y’all,’ Applejack mumbles.

Twilight steps up. ‘Yes. After my outburst last night, I felt it would be better to step aside than waste my efforts repairing my image. I will still assist the local efforts to raise voter turnout if they will have me.’

‘Any word on the location of Rainbow Dash?’ another reporter asks.

‘I heard a Sonic Rainboom was spotted over Appleoosa recently,’ Marvel jokes.

The reporters laugh at the joke. Marvel scans the reporters for another question.

The next Tuesday. James has a number of his friends over to watch the election. He shares the couch with Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie. Tim and Kaeko sit on chairs around the room. Rainbow Dash watches the television from her hiding spot in James’ TARDIS. The mayor is currently winning a landslide against Pinkie.

‘I could have had it...’ Twilight grumbles.

‘And if you won, you would have snapped at your staff your first week instead of at your friends during the debate,’ James comments.

‘That’s not true.’

‘You would have tried organizing everything you could. Nothing would get done,’ Pinkie says.

‘But...’

‘Not to mention your scheduling would have kept everypony busy at all hours of the night, making them tired and useless,’ Fluttershy adds.

‘Well...’

‘Worst, we wouldn’t have any more date nights,’ James finishes.

Pinkie and Fluttershy snap to attention then moan at their lost chance.

‘How am I doing?’ Rainbow Dash calls.

‘You’re losing to Skybound,’ Kaeko replies.

‘You didn’t remove your name from the ballot?’ Fluttershy gapes.

‘I thought I still had a chance.’

Everypony facehoofs.

‘Do you think I would have won?’ Twilight asks.

‘You would have slaughtered. That’s why we had to stop you,’ James says.

‘What?!’

‘I didn’t want you to be stressed out from the job,’ Pinkie says, ‘so I ran too so you would have somepony to get frustrated with and eventually yell at. It was only luck that AJ and Dashie ran, too.’

‘Pinkie came to me with her plan, and I took it to our group,’ James continues.

‘We all agreed that it was best for Ponyville if you did not run,’ Tim adds. ‘Beside, the mayor was willing to adopt a lot of your proposals. Some good came in the end.’

‘Was there a plan to stop me?’ Rainbow Dash asks.

‘Yeah. It was called “just let her talk”,’ Fluttershy growls.

‘I asked the heads of both groups to rally at the second debate,’ James says. ‘If Twilight didn’t do the job herself, they would have seen you were full of crap and playing them both.’

‘Heh, heh. I did a good job of that, didn’t I?’

The six other ponies glare at the hiding pegasus. She ducks further into the time machine.

‘You know...’ Twilight muses. ‘We could still use a more effective leader than the mayor, and I know just the pony who would enact fair policies and not crack under pressure.’

‘No,’ James replies.

‘Why not? You could probably be elected MP.’

‘Right. Good King James versus Princess Celestia. That is something we would all like to see.’

‘I’d vote for you,’ Tim says.

‘I as well,’ Kaeko agrees.

‘Our minds combined, we’d be unstoppable,’ Twilight giggles.

‘Mr James Hayate Wanderer, MP of The Power Block!’ Pinkie cheers.

James groans and turns back to watching the news. Twilight giggles and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

‘Mister Future Prime Minister.’

Author's Note

Story Event: First chapter written entirely in Google Drive.

So... This chapter has gotten pretty tricky thanks to the coronation. I'm keeping it since I don't see why not to. I think it is pretty funny thinking about: Mayor Mare vs Applejack (the producer of most of Ponyville's food) vs Rainbow Dash (the champion weather partol manager) vs Pinkie ('Come on, everypony! Smile!' 'Pinkie!') vs Princess Twilight Sparkle. How the hell is the mayor supposed to compete against that?

Feel free to look down at the chapter in light of the promotion and wings, but I think it is a fun one.

PS: James is NEVER running for office. (Probably pretty obvious since The Master Game is posted already.)

Putting on a Show

Main Characters: Silver Fox
Cameos: TWP, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, Rei, Lyra
Original Write Date: May 24, 2012

A green pegasus with a styled neon pink mane steps off the train in Ponyville station. She looks over her sunglasses at all the ponies trotting about. She turns to find a porter and is immediately confronted by a pale amber earth pony with a grey mane.

‘Welcome to Ponyville, Miss d’Argento!’ the mayor greets.

Silver Fox sighs and puts on her best Vulpe d’Argento smile. ‘It is so wonderful to be in your lovely town.’

‘Well, it is not everyday that we get a celebrity in town.’

‘Don’t the Elements of Harmony live here?’

‘I mean a real celebrity.’

A loud groan comes from behind the mayor. She steps aside as Twilight Sparkle trots up to greet the visiting pegasus.

‘Greetings, Miss d’Argento. I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, one of the Elements of Harmony.’

‘It is a pleasure meeting you,’ Silver lies, affecting a tone that would convince even Twilight that they never met.

‘Twilight here has volunteered to show you around town and be your liaison during your visit,’ the mayor explains. ‘If there is anything you need, ask her.’

‘I am sure this town will have everything I need.’

‘Excellent! Please enjoy your stay!’

The mayor bows slightly and trots away. The remaining ponies sigh and look at each other.

‘Been a while, Silver.’

‘Sparkle.’ Silver looks around. ‘Does this town have an organic, gluten-free, nondairy smoothie bar? I’m a little thirsty after the train ride.’

Twilight groans. ‘How about we begin the tour, okay?’

Silver moans. ‘Fine. Let’s get this over with.’

Twilight snorts and leads Silver into town. The flashy pegasus attracts countless stares and whispers. She tunes them out, along with Twilight’s speech about the town. She fills in the details with what she sees in her mind.

Class two lock. Just need my simple picks. Silver thinks. Worn shutters on the second floor. Light force needed to break. Homeowner easily distracted by muffins. A tree for a house? Really? Wait. Why is she looking at me?

Silver blinks back to reality as Twilight frowns at her guest.

‘Were you listening to anything I said?’

‘Was any of it important to my mission?’

‘Mission? Is the town under a threat?’

‘Not that I know of... Oh right! You don’t know my true profession. I am here to steal the Elements of Harmony.’ Silver poses dramatically. Twilight’s jaw drops. ‘Oh. And I will be writing an episode about it. I figure it would make a good story.’

‘Really? You came all this way for that?’

‘Given your brother’s ability with magical barriers, I am looking forward to the challenge.’

Twilight facehoofs. ‘I keep them in a display case.’

‘What?’ Everything Silver knows about security for national treasures with the ability to banish the greatest evils known to ponykind is thrown out the window.

‘Ever since Discord was freed, Celestia thought it best for us to have our Elements ready at all times. I keep them in the lobby. The schoolfoals love seeing them when they visit.’

Silver questions her entire profession. ‘You just... show them to anypony who asks?’

‘Want to see them? I keep the display case right by the door.’

Silver stares at Twilight, her mind shattered. Twilight tries to read her guest.

‘Miss Silver?’

‘Where is that mulberry-maned mare? She seemed to know where the best watering holes would be.’

‘Are you okay?’

‘That is unless you have something really strong or really expensive to drink in your home.’

‘I just turned old enough recently. Why are you asking?’

‘YOU KEEP THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY IN YOUR LOBBY!’

Twilight backs away. ‘Please stop yelling. You are scaring me a little.’

Silver closes her eyes and takes several deep breaths. ‘Direct me to my hotel. I just want a warm bath and a bottle of liquor to finish off the day. I’ll figure out what I am going to do for the rest of the week then.’

‘Are you sure you want to stay? You can make it back to Canterlot by night if you are really upset at me.’

‘No. I paid for my room. I never waste money. Not one bit...’

Twilight slowly approaches the other mare and puts a hoof on her shoulder. ‘I am sorry that my security is not what you expected. Ponyville is a lot different place than even small cities like Hoofington and Trottingham.’

‘Whatever. Just point me to my hotel.’

Twilight sighs and trots ahead of her guest. ‘Follow me.’

The night does not go as Silver hopes as well. She is unable to find a decent drink. She is unable to find a decent place to eat. The only thing going for her is that the local spa sold her some nice bubble bath. The defeated pegasus watches her tub slowly fill when she gets a knock on the door. Silver growls, turns off the water and goes to the door. She takes a deep breath, puts on her Vulpe d’Argento act again and opens the door.

‘I am sorry, but I am going to be indisposed for the rest of the evening. Please come back later.’

Rei trots right past the other pegasus. ‘I brought pizza! Let’s party!’

Several things shock Silver. One is the brazenness of her guest. Second is who the guest is. At a distant third is the food being offered. Silver turns back to the room. Rei is looking everywhere and somehow still balancing the pizza on her head.

‘Rei, it is nice to see you, but I was just about to take a bath.’

‘AW! But Twilight told daddy to tell me that you were feeling all saddy and to bring you this pizza. I didn’t eat any of it yet or anything.’

‘That is very nice, but I wan...’

A bottle drops from under Rei’s wing. ‘I, uh, also borrowed that from Kaeko-san.’

Silver examines the bottle. It is a rare type of sake from Neighpon. She looks up at the way underage pegasus. She picks the bottle up under her wing.

‘Well, I won’t tell if you won’t.’
…

Silver moans contently as she soaks in her tub, forelegs hanging over the side. Her mane and coat are free of the dyes that once covered them, and her natural colors shine forth. A brush lands on Silver’s head and starts stroking her mane.

‘Brushie, brushie,’ Rei mumbles mindlessly.

Silver snorts, blowing bubbles from the tub and all over the bathroom. Some land in the empty pizza box. One lands on top of the half-empty sake bottle. The drunk pegasus giggles as she watches the bubbles.

‘Brushie, blub,’ Rei mumbles mindlessly as she goes underwater to brush Silver’s tail.

Silver giggles at the younger pegasus. She suddenly sits upright. ‘That wasn’t my tail!’

Rei resurfaces. ‘Sorry. Got a little lost.’

The other pegasus sighs. ‘You’re not the only one.’

‘Gin-chan?’

Silver sighs, blowing bubbles in the tub. ‘Nothing seems to be going my way recently. Not just this trip. Ever since the Canterlot mission...’

Rei nuzzles the other pegasus. ‘It is okay.’

‘My cast and crew hate me. I know it. I am so demanding about accurate dialogue and performances. That caused several delays in production. When my contract is up for renewal, I am sure they are going to threaten to walk if I don’t give up creative control.’

‘It will work out. I know it.’

The silver-maned pegasus snorts. ‘Also, the Canterlot incident has caused a massive increase in requests for my talents. I can contract some of that load off to Octavia, but palace security is so demanding. That damn captain of the guard wants to know every detail about every centimeter of the palace. ARG! How can your father put up with his sister?’

‘She grows on you. Plus, she is very cuddly!’

‘Hmm. Right. Cuddly.’

Rei frowns at Silver. ‘Don’t you have a special somepony? I am sure all sorts of ponies love you.’

‘The closest thing to a special somepony I have ever had was when you missed my tail just now.’

The younger pegasus grabs the older in hug. ‘Don’t feel sad! I know you’ll find the right pony one day. If I didn’t have three other ponies that I like, I would love to be your special somepony.’

Silver blushes then smiles. ‘Thanks, Rei. That means a lot to me.’

‘Gin-chan...’ Rei looks at the other pegasus with wide eyes.

‘Yes?’

‘Want to get more pizza? I’m starved!’

‘But you ate most of...’ Silver laughs and shakes her head. ‘That would be great.’

‘Yay!’

Rei bolts from the tub to make the call, splashing water everywhere except, somehow, near the sake bottle. Silver sighs and goes back to soaking.

Silver wakes to a rapping sound coming from the sitting room of her hotel suite. The groggy pegasus looks around the room. Rei is nowhere to be seen. Silver sighs in relief. She would hate to have taken advantage of the underage pegasus given how drunk they were last night. She groans and rolls out of bed.

The waking pegasus yawns as she trots through her suite. The room is filled with pizza boxes from Rei’s binge the night before. Silver pities the pony that has to feed her on a regular basis. She wades through the mess and opens the balcony doors. A cyan pegasus stands on the landing.

‘Are you ready to rock?’ Rainbow Dash shouts.

Silver winces as the yelling pounds her hungover head. A slice of pizza hits the new pegasus in the face.

‘Urusai,’ Rei groans from under the couch. ‘And don’t eat that. It is mine.’

‘Shouldn’t you be in school, kid?’

Rei bolts upright, knocking over the couch. ‘Shimata!’

A white and blue streak shoots from the hotel room. Rainbow Dash laughs at the filly before turning back to the guest.

‘So, you coming?’

‘Why? Where?’

‘Twilight figured that since her tour was such lame sauce, that I could give you the awesome sauce tour of the area.’

Silver groans. ‘I’m not dressed.’

‘Uh, Silver, we don’t normally wear clothes.’

‘Or, as I am known in public, Vulpe.’

‘D’oh! I forgot your silly disguise. … Screw that! You look fine. Let’s go.’

The thief glares. ‘You will wait for me or the next mane dyed neon pink will not be mine.’

‘Fine!’ Rainbow Dash groans. She picks up the pizza slice and starts eating. ‘Just don’t take too long.’

Silver looks over a large group of pegasi that Rainbow Dash is introducing her to. They seem to meeting right at a shift change for the local weather patrol.

‘Everypony, this is, uh, Vulpe. She’s in town visiting for a bit,’ Rainbow Dash introduces her guest to her friends.

Silver waves while most of the gathered pegasi happily greet their guest.

‘What do you do?’ a light blue mare with a pale green mane asks.

‘Good question, Flitter,’ Dash interrupts before Silver can answer. ‘She is an actress. Maybe she can give Thunderlane tips on how pull off his fake excuses better.’

A dark grey stallion tries to hide himself in the back. A whitish mare with a manecut similar to Twilight Sparkle’s pushes her way forward.

‘Can I get an autograph, Miss Vulpe?’ Blossomforth asks. ‘I am a huge fan of your show.’

Silver sighs and signs a notepad for the fan. She looks around at the group again. ‘Miss Dash, what are we doing here again?’

‘I promised to show you the awesome side of Ponyville, and what better place to start than the most awesome weather crew in Equestria!’

The weather crew cheers. Silver groans as Rainbow Dash starts introducing her to everypony individually. She starts filling in all of the names with new ones of her own.

Flitter. Flexible one. Awesome mane. Tiny wings. Bit of a wuss, but nice bod. Cloud Kicker. Flaming tire. Co-captain. Co-captain?

Silver blinks back to reality and looks at Raindrops’ smiling face.

‘Good to meet you,’ the friendly pegasus greets.

‘Did you say “co-captain”?’ Silver asks.

Rainbow looks ashamed. ‘Well, I don’t have half the brains that Raindrops has.’

‘And nopony has Rainbow’s speed or leadership,’ Raindrops compliments.

‘That is everypony,’ Dash says. ‘What do you think?’

‘Uh... Awesome show, great job?’ Silver tries to cover her inattentiveness.

Rainbow Dash glares at her guest. Raindrops giggles. The other pegasi that heard the cover laugh too.

‘Um... So what do you do around here?’ the actress asks.

‘Duh. We’re weather patrol,’ Dash groans. ‘We move clouds and make rain and all that stuff.’

‘Oh. Where I am from, unicorns do all of that.’

‘Even pegasi I know from Canterlot have done basic weather control while in flight school. Didn’t you do that there?’ Raindrops questions.

‘I, uh... never went to flight school.’ Silver looks away to hide her shame.

Raindrops stares in shock. Rainbow Dash shrugs it off.

‘Meh. You didn’t miss much. Just a bunch of rules and not enough nap time,’ Rainbow replies.

‘That is why you have a co-captain,’ Raindrops snorts. ‘Your nap times with the morning patrols accomplish nothing.’

‘Hey. How I reward my crews for finishing early is my business. ‘Sides, they like it. Right, guys?’

The morning weather crew cheers for their captain, led by an exuberant Flitter.

Raindrops snorts. ‘Time off is one thing, but my crews enjoy the treats I bring them for a job well done. Right?’

The afternoon weather crew cheers for their captain, led by a large white pegasus with tiny wings. Rainbow Dash and Raindrops glare at each other like they are about to fight, but they start laughing.

‘Yeah, I wish I could cook like you so I could bring stuff for my crews,’ Dash sighs.

‘You’re busy enough with the night crews. You deserve a break now and again,’ her friend replies.

The friends laugh and brohoof. Silver yawns. The two weather ponies glare at the actress.

‘Oh? We’re not awesome enough for ya. Dat it?’ Dash snorts.

‘Maybe we should show her the real fun,’ Raindrops offers.

‘Good idea. Heh, heh, heh.’

Silver slinks away, worried about what the other mares will do to her.
…

The thief posing as an actress now serves as a weather pony. The work is a strength check for a pony who is built for dexterity and intelligence. Silver pushes a cloud into place then collapses onto it. The other pegasi laugh at the tired pegasus. Blossomforth flies over with a bottle of water.

‘Thanks,’ Silver pants. ‘This is a lot of hard work.’

Blossomforth giggles. ‘Just think how hard it gets after more than a single hour.’

Silver groans and buries her head in the cloud. The other pegasi laugh further. Rainbow Dash flies over and lands on the cloud.

‘Ah, don’t let them get to you,’ Dash soothes. ‘You did great for a first time. Come on! I know what we should do next.’

‘Finally!’ the tired pegasus moans.

Rainbow Dash turns to the others. ‘Thanks a lot guys! We had fun! See ya tomorrow!’

The weather crew wave after the departing pegasi. Silver fakes a smile and waves back. She follows Rainbow Dash as they fly over the town.

‘You must be hungry. Where do you want to go?’ the host asks.

‘Personally, I feel like going to this nice little shop run by a nice old stallion from Equina, but I doubt either of us is up for the train ride.’

‘Equinese food, eh?’ Rainbow Dash thinks for a moment. ‘We got a Diamond Dog place just outside of town, but they have some meat dishes we’d have to avoid.’

‘If you know any good sushi bars, I am willing to treat.’

‘Say what? You sound like Rei talking like that.’

‘Fine. Do you have some place you like to go?’

Rainbow Dash taps a hoof on her chin. She gets an evil grin. ‘You’re a professional thief, right?’

Silver raises an eyebrow.

Applejack charges out of her barn with a pitchfork in her mouth. She takes careful aim and hurls it as hard as she can. There is a scream and a thud. The farmer gallops to the source of the sounds. She finds Rainbow Dash pinned to an apple tree via a pitchfork through the tail. Below the pegasus is a pile of apple pastries, some smashed from the fall. The thieving pegasus smiles at her friend.

‘Rainbow, how many times do Ah have t’ tell ya not t’ steal mah bakin’?’

‘What stealing? I don’t see anything.’

Applejack is about to lecture her friend some more, but she notices all of the pastries are missing, even the crushed ones.

‘Now how in the hay..?’

‘Too bad we don’t have any cider to celebrate this hilarious moment.’

There is a groan from the trees. The trees rustle one by one back towards the barn. Applejack watches the strange occurrence then turns to Rainbow Dash.

‘Ah know what yer up t’. Ya better have yer wallet handy t’ pay fer all of this.’
…

Rainbow Dash grumbles to herself as she lands on the landing outside of Silver’s suite. The other pegasus calmly snacks on an apple tart. She toasts the returning pegasus with a mug of cider.

‘You’re right. This is good.’

The cyan pegasus growls. ‘AJ made me pay for all of the items you stole.’

‘It was your idea for me to steal them. You were great cover.’

‘I had to pay.’

‘You shouldn’t have gotten caught. Thieving one-oh-one.’

‘And you should never have made it known you are in town,’ Rainbow Dash smirks.

Silver freezes. There is a knock on the door. The thief looks from the door to the landing. She sighs and goes to answer the door.

Rei helps Silver finish off all of the apple pastries the unlucky pegasus was forced to purchase. The younger pegasus sees the treats as a perfect addition to the stack of pizzas she brought with her for dinner. Silver sighs, not knowing what to do about her returning guest and the cleaning bill that is likely to come from all of the food being left around the suite.

‘Applejack’s baking is so much better when it is paid for,’ the white pegasus says, spraying pie crumbs everywhere.

‘You’ve never paid for her baking before?’

‘Nope! I either steal it or she gives it to daddy after he does a favor for her, usually involving going to her farm for hours on end.’

‘Hmm... That might be good leverage. Do you think they are..?’

‘Nope! You can tell by their faces.’

Silver raises an eyebrow.

‘See... Their faces are just different. Those that have done it. I don’t know how to explain. You can just tell by their faces!’

‘You think an awful lot about that subject, don’t you?’

Rei blushes and gets a slice of pizza. Silver laughs and goes to a cupboard. She gets out a bottle with an amber liquid inside.

‘Applejack doesn’t know I took this too. Care to join me?’

‘No thanks. Last night made my head really hurt, especially when I ran into school.’

‘I thought exercise usually countered the effects.’

‘I meant literally.’

Silver barely contains a laugh. She puts the bottle away. ‘You’re the goofiest friend I have.’

‘What about Lyra-sensei? She is goofy, too.’

The silver-maned pegasus kicks at the ground. ‘I don’t really consider them friends. We work together, but...’

‘I saw you smile when you saw Tavi-tan was okay after the mission. You are friends.’

‘I guess... Wait. Tavi-tan?’

‘Because she is so small!’

‘She is as tall as I am, and you could fit in my suitcase.’

‘I hate being so short.’ Rei gets another slice of pizza to comfort herself. ‘Even my younger siblings are bigger than me...’

‘You have siblings? I thought you were adopted.’

Rei’s head and wings shoot up. ‘Um! Never mind that.’ She munches her pizza in silence. ‘Do you have any family?’

Silver begins to regret that she put the bottle away. ‘I did. Once.’

‘What happened?’

The older pegasus gets a slice of pizza and stares into space while eating. The younger stares at her friend.

Silver sighs. ‘What do you want to do tonight? I am game for anything.’

Silver wakes early. Despite Rei’s energy, she was able to get rid of her guest at a reasonable hour and get plenty of sleep. She goes to the washroom. She sees her mane and coat dyes sitting on the counter.

‘Not today. It is Wednesday.’

She climbs into the shower and takes a long rinse to make sure all of the dyes are washed from her.

A light brown pegasus with a silver mane trots through the streets of Ponyville. She is covered in dirt, looking like she slept in a dust pile all night. It is a bit of a stereotype, but Silver knows it is the best way to convince other ponies that you are lower class. She knows that too well.

Silver scans the street for her first target. She spots a building with a cupcake for the roof. She licks her lips and trots towards the bakery. A stallion runs straight into her as she crosses the way.

‘Watch it, bum!’ the stallion snorts as he keeps trotting.

The pegasus sighs and picks herself up. She keeps going and slips behind the building. She looks for the bins that might hold the day-old goods. She climbs onto one large bin and starts digging around.

‘Whatcha doing?’ a chipper voice asks.

Silver screams in surprise and loses her balance. The lid of the bin slams over her. She groans as she adds the expected smell to her cover. The lid to the bin opens, and Pinkie Pie smiles down at her.

‘Did I startle you? I didn’t mean to startle you.’

‘Yes,’ Silver grumbles. ‘You got me quite well.’

Pinkie helps the smelly, dirty pegasus from the bin. She looks at the new pony then gasps.

‘You’re..!’

A hoof to the mouth cuts Pinkie short. ‘Shh! I don’t want anypony to know it is me.’

‘I understand. Flutters liked to disguise herself when she was a model.’

‘More like the actress is the disguise,’ the pegasus sighs.

‘Is that why you are hiding in the garbage?’

‘I wasn’t hiding. I was...’ Silver growls and looks away.

‘You were what?’

‘I was looking for breakfast...’ the hungry pegasus grumbles.

‘Well, that is easier to do if you come in the front, silly.’

‘I can’t. At least not on Wednesday.’

‘Why not?’

Silver glares at the pink pony smiling at her. She snorts and turns away. A stomach growling causes the pegasus to blush.

‘Oh! I have the perfect thing for that!’ Pinkie darts into the shop and returns with a pair of danishes. ‘I got one, too. Your hoof tastes awful!’

Silver takes the offering and quietly eats. The party pony stares at the sullen mare in front of her. It looks as if the pegasus is about to cry. As soon as the pegasus finishes her breakfast, the other danish is put in her hooves.

‘You know, I didn’t need it anyway.’ Pinkie smiles.

‘Why are you doing this?’ Silver whispers.

‘Uh, duh. You’re hungry and you’re my friend. Why wouldn’t I do this for you?’ An idea strikes. ‘OH! We never had a “Welcome Miss Famous Actress” Party for you! We have to have one before you leave!’

The pegasus nibbles the pastry. ‘You don’t have to. It is okay.’

‘I don’t have to, but I want to! It will be fun.’

Silver sets down the pastry and covers her face as she starts crying. Pinkie trots over and gives her a friendly nuzzle.

‘Do you not like parties? I’m sorry.’

‘No, it is not that. You are just being so nice to me. Why? I don’t understand. Why is everypony here so nice?’

‘You’re our friend, silly. Why wouldn’t we be nice to our friends? I mean, it is a lot easier than rooting around in bins for scraps.’

‘There were no leftovers in there, were there?’

Pinkie laughs nervously. ‘We, uh, have a way of handling that problem. Besides, right now, making you happy is more important. Why were you digging in our trash? Did you lose something in there?’

‘Promise not to tell anypony, especially not Rei?’

‘Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!’

Silver looks around to make sure she and Pinkie are the only two in earshot. ‘My family is poor. Until I discovered my talent for thievery, we barely scraped by day-to-day. Some days we didn’t eat at all. After I was able to pull myself up and escape the slums, I promised I would never forget my past. Every Wednesday, I go out without my Vulpe disguise and live how I used to live. It... It keeps me humble.’

At the end of the tale, Silver looks at Pinkie. The earth pony is sobbing.

‘That... was... the saddest story ever!’

Pinkie grabs Silver in a hug. The pegasus pats the earth pony on the back.

‘It is okay. I am rich and famous now. I only do this for fun.’

‘How can that be fun?’ Pinkie looks up, her hair appearing flatter. ‘You shouldn’t have to beg for food or dig through bins or...’

Silver puts her hoof over Pinkie’s mouth again and shakes her head. ‘Nopony should have to do that. I choose to. A lot of ponies don’t have that choice. That is just the way the world works.’

‘But...’

‘Miss Pie, it is okay. I share what I learn with those who need the help, and I always leave gifts of fresh food or money for them to help make their lives easier.’

‘It is not okay! Nopony should have to live like that!’

‘They do when there aren’t enough jobs for each individual talent. In Canterlot, you would be just another party planner among hundreds. You might have a good niche with foal’s parties.’

Pinkie’s jaw drops. ‘But, but, but...’ Her hair becomes completely flat and she stares at the ground.

It is Silver’s turn to offer a hug. ‘It is okay. I am sorry for saying such scary things.’

‘They are not true, are they?’

Silver pauses for a long time.

Pinkie pushes back and shakes her head. Her hair puffs back to normal. ‘No! That settles it! I will make everypony in Equestria happy! Rich and poor! I won’t stop until everypony smiles!’

‘It is good to see you so determined.’

‘And that starts with you! We are having a huge “Make Silver Happy” Party tonight! We will show her that she will never have to eat from a bin again!’

‘Uh... I do that to remind... Never mi...’

Silver chokes on her words as Pinkie shoves the rest of the danish in the pegasus’ mouth.

‘Now, be a a good girl and let Auntie Pinkie Pie take care of everything.’ Pinkie happily trots into the bakery only to pop her head out with a demonic expression on her face. ‘And don’t let me catch you eating out of a bin again!’

Silver screams and gallops away from the terrifying sight.

Several hours of avoiding Pinkie Pie later, Silver explores the town some more. Some well-honed begging netted several bits which are invested in a large head of lettuce that she split with a vagrant pony she encountered. She makes sure to leave the rest of her bits she collected, as well as a little extra, before taking in the rest of the town. She enters an area with several stores arranged around a central cluster of large stores. She marvels for a moment at the small theater as she passes.

Most of the activity in the district is around the central shops. Silver avoids the video game shop but stops to look in the comic shop next door. She stares at the various comics on display, lingering for several moments on the latest issue of Captain Equestria. She looks around to find another shop to investigate. A tapping catches her attention. She tenses up when she spies James waving at her. He points behind his store and trots away. Silver looks around then gallops around the shops. She creeps down the back alley. James is talking with a red earth pony. The red pony leaves a small bag and enters the comic shop. James smiles and waves Silver over. She sighs and trots over.

‘Ha, ha. You got roped into a Pinkie Pie Party.’

Silver shudders. ‘Thanks for reminding me.’

‘Yeah, heard you got her to go flat-haired, too.’ James examines his hooves nonchalantly. ‘I only gave her a heart attack when I told her I didn’t want a party.’

‘Is that really something to be proud about?’

‘I got my first kiss out it.’

Silver cringes. ‘Your family has the weirdest romantic habits.’

‘Oh! Before I forget, this is from Marvel. He thought you would like it.’

James gives the bag to Silver. She looks inside and sees the issue of Captain Equestria she was looking at. She blushes and puts the comic under her wing.

‘How do you like Ponyville so far? Definitely a huge change from the city.’

‘Yes, I am fairly certain that all the ponies in this town are crazy.’

‘You’ll get no argument here. How is scrounging going?’

‘Pinkie told you, didn’t she?’

‘Or somepony might have dropped a five-bit coin in your basket. I really appreciate how you invested it.’

Silver snorts. ‘Do you have to know everything about everypony?’

James turns. ‘Come on in. You’re taking a shower before the party. It is quicker to stop here than going back to your hotel.’

Silver stares at the stallion before sighing and following.
…

A nice shower later, Silver sits in James’ kitchen. The stallion serves them cups of tea and sits with his guest.

‘How’s the family?’

Silver stands and turns to leave.

‘You will answer that question. You know I am the only pony who will not tell anypony else.’

The pegasus’ wings flare in anger. ‘I haven’t seen them in years. I have no idea if they are even still alive.’

‘By not having seen them in years, you mean since your mother’s birthday.’

Silver spins and shouts, ‘How do you know that!’

‘You just told me. Or I could have remembered a report from when I lived in Canterlot about how the top bakery in town always seems to miss a triple-layer double-chocolate cake every year on the same day.’

‘When I was five, she said she would love to try one of those cakes... We could never even afford a single slice... The first time, before I got good, the cake got smushed, but she was so surprised and excited to try a bite... I told her I secretly saved up for it and could buy it since it was ruined. I made sure she only got perfection since then.'

‘Does she know you are Vulpe?’

Silver kicks at the floor. She takes a sip of her tea and looks away.

‘Okay. How is Octy? I haven’t seen her since she tried killing me at Twilight’s birthday.’ James sips his tea. ‘Such a fun night.’

‘Octavia is fine. We work together often thanks to the desire for security consulting these days.’

‘How about your other friends?’

Silver takes a long sip of her tea.

James sighs. ‘The correct answer is: Rei is doing great, Rainbow Dash is working her tail off and Pinkie Pie is acting normal.’ He sips his tea. ‘Oh! And Lyra is currently going through your garbage.’

‘But I...’

‘Silver, why are you always running? Everypony has a reason why they run. I even had a reason once. What is yours?’

‘Triple-layer double-chocolate cake...’

‘Again.’

‘Triple-layer double-chocolate cake. If she knew who I really was... I cannot let her know. I have to protect her from the truth. She cannot know that her daughter is Equestria’s most wanted thief. It is better she thinks I just disappeared ten years ago...’

‘Can she know her daughter is Equestria’s favorite actress?’

Silver takes a long drink of her tea. She set down her cup and marches to the stairs ‘We have party to go to.’

The next morning. Silver hides in her bed. She curses that Pinkie and James found her the previous day. She hates confronting her past. She hates when other ponies ask about herself. She hates other ponies being pointlessly friendly to her. She hates when they do her favors, give her gifts, and express interest in what she says. She hates the attention. She hates the companionship. She hates friendship! Silver pulls the covers over her head and shuts out the world.

The sulking pegasus wakes to a grumbling stomach. She sighs and wonders if Rei left any pizza in the countless boxes she brought with her in only two visits.

‘There isn’t any left,’ a calm voice says. ‘She even ate all of the crusts you refused to eat.’ There is a giggle. ‘Sorta like an indirect kiss.’

Silver growls and pulls the covers over her head again.

‘Not even going to say “hi” to me on this trip?’ Lyra asks. ‘I am hurt.’

‘What do you want?’

‘I want to see my friend. Is that too much to ask?’

‘We’re not friends. We only work together on occasion.’

‘You’ve been in my house. As a guest, not as a thief. I say that makes us friends enough. Speaking of which, you have to come over and finally meet the wife. She loves your show.’

‘Fall in a ditch and die.’

‘That is no way to talk to your friends, young lady!’

‘I have no friends! Friends are stupid! They get in the way!’

‘Does your fillyfriend know you think that way?’

‘My fillyfri...’

‘Gin-chan!’ Rei calls as she trots into the room. ‘I was getting sick of pizza so I got us a few big things of spaghetti. Please come soon or I might not be able to save you some.’

‘Rei?’

The young pegasus looks at her friend. ‘Something wrong, Gin-chan?’

‘Rei... I....’

Rei climbs into bed and maneuvers herself between Silver’s forelegs. She hugs her friend and buries her head in Silver’s chest. ‘Don’t be sad, Gin-chan.’

The upset pegasus returns the hug. ‘It is okay, Rei-chan.’

‘I’ll get us some lunch, okay?’

Lyra gets off the bed. She kisses Silver’s forehead before she goes.
…

Silver groans as she imagines the dry cleaning cost being added to her bill due to Rei’s and Lyra’s messy eating habits. The two guests have some of the worst table manners imaginable. Rei slurps a long strand of spaghetti, leaving a large, red stain on her white coat.

‘What do you want to do next? I’m feeling like ice cream!’

‘I think Silver wants to stay in, dear,’ Lyra replies.

‘Oh. Okay.’

Silver wipes the few dots of sauce from her lips. ‘Shouldn’t you two be at school?’

‘In theory, yes,’ Lyra replies. ‘Though my bosses complain, they also say the school day runs much more smoothly without either of us present.’

‘I would never have guessed.’

‘Missed a spot!’ Rei leans over and licks a spot of sauce from Silver’s cheek.

The older pegasus blushes and looks away, exposing her erect wings. Lyra giggles at the younger mare.

‘You should at least come out and see your other guests,’ Lyra says.

‘Other guests?’

Lyra gets off the bed and goes to the door. Rei licks Silver’s face again and trots out. The depressed pegasus sighs and gets up. She freezes in the doorway when she sees Pinkie and Rainbow Dash sitting in the suite. Pinkie looks up from her bowl of spaghetti, licks all of the tomato sauce from her face and smiles.

‘About time you get up,’ Rainbow Dash grumbles.

‘Who cares? It is just good to see Silver again!’ Pinkie cheers, throwing confetti everywhere.

‘What are you two doing here?’ Silver asks.

‘We’re your friends, duh,’ Dash groans. ‘It is not like we’re going to sit by and let you be upset for no good reason.’

‘Yeah! You might go crazy and start eating out of bins again,’ Pinkie adds.

Silver cringes. ‘I guess telling everypony would be the opposite of not telling anypony.’

‘Oh! So that’s why you had cupcakes on your face this morning,’ Dash realizes.

‘I’m sorry I told,’ Pinkie frowns. ‘I had to tell somepony and I figured it would be best to keep it among just your friends.’

Lyra puts a hoof on Silvers shoulder. ‘You can trust your friends with your problems. It is a lot easier than forcing us to use lockpicks and keyloggers to know what is bothering you.’

Rei flies over Silver and gives her a hug. ‘Plus, if you get all saddy, we’ll be there to cry with you. That makes it hurt a lot less.’

Silver looks down. She tries holding them back, but her tears fall at her hooves. ‘You are my friends... I have friends...’

‘You have more than just us, too, silly.’

‘There’s daddy and Tavi-tan and Hikari-chan...’

‘My friends... I am sorry. I am sorry I ignored you for so long.’

‘You didn’t ignore us. You were just too busy.’

‘Yeah. You kinda did ignore us for a while.’

‘Rainbow!’

Silver laughs at her friends’ behavior. She smiles a truly happy smile for the first time in a long time.

Bonus Scene

It's Great to be the Princess

Main Characters: Celestia/Amy, Luna/Selene, TWP, Twilight
Cameos: Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Cloudchaser
Original Write Date: May 29, 2012

Luna stands at the door to her sister’s bed chambers. The younger alicorn is wearing her Selene disguise and carries a telescope and saddlebags filled with snacks on her back. The older alicorn smiles down at her sister.

‘Are you sure you do not want to join us?’ Luna asks. ‘James and Twilight promise that it will be a spectacular show tonight.’

Celestia shakes her head. ‘No thank you. You should have fun on your own. Besides, I do not think Miss Cloudchaser has forgiven me yet.’

‘Very well,’ Luna sighs. ‘Take care, sister.’

The sisters lean forward and exchange a friendly nuzzle. Luna steps out of the room and trots off to her astronomy club meeting. Celestia sighs and closes the door behind her. She takes a deep breath and leans against the door. She tries holding them back, but tears start falling from her eyes. The princess drops to the ground as she sobs. She curls into as small a ball as she can and cries herself to sleep.

Twilight and Spike shelve books after a visit from Cheerilee’s class. The pair are making quick work of the mess. Twilight seems upset about something as she levitates dozens of books at once.

‘The nerve of them, implying something like that,’ the princess grumbles.

‘Give it a rest, Twilight,’ Spike sighs. ‘It is just a silly rumor. You know it is not true. The sun still came up.’

‘Yes, but...’

Twilight is cut off by a knock on the door. The librarians turn to see Selene standing in the doorway. The princess groans and goes back to shelving.

‘Gaming night is not until tomorrow.’

The pegasus steps into the library and seals the door behind her. She removes her disguise and continues forward as Princess Luna.

‘Twilight Sparkle, I need your help,’ Luna says. Twilight groans. ‘It is about my sister.’

All the books Twilight was lifting drop to ground. The younger princess spins around to face the older princess. Luna stares with tears in her eyes.

‘Please. There is nopony else I can turn to.’

Before the next astronomy club meeting, Twilight gathers James, Cloudchaser, Rei and Inkie to her. She is relating what Luna had told her friends. Cloudchaser looks less than civil.

‘...So please be nice to her tonight. We don’t want her feeling any worse than she already does,’ Twilight says.

‘Hmpf!’ Cloudchaser snorts. ‘I say what’s fair is fair.’

‘Cloudchaser!’ Twilight gasps.

‘What! It is not like she forced you to break up with your coltfriend.’

Twilight begins to argue, but James stops her.

‘She has a good reason to be bitter. Hopefully, that will ease tonight.’

Cloudchaser snorts and turns away. There is a call from the edge of the park. The group turns to see a dark blue pegasus and a tall white unicorn trotting up. The unicorn is staring at the ground as she trots along.

‘Greetings, everypony!’ Selene cheers with a smile. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I brought my sister Amy with me for the night. She has been feeling down, and I hope that being out will help cheer her up.’

‘It is always a pleasure to have more guests.’ Twilight smiles. ‘We are willing to do anything to help her mood.’

‘One way or another,’ Cloudchaser growls.

Twilight growls at the rude pegasus.

‘It is okay, Twilight Sparkle,’ Amy sighs. ‘She has good reason to be upset with me.’ She looks up at Cloudchaser. ‘Nothing I can say or do can be enough to apologize for how wrong I was to interfere with your relationship with my sister. I hope that you will forgive me one day.’

Cloudchaser is shocked by Amy's humility. ‘Well, good! Just don’t interfere again.’

James catches something out of the corner of his eye. ‘Looks like my student has arrived.’ He waves to the approaching Apple Bloom. ‘Inkie, you and Apple Bloom start setting up the telescopes. Amy, do you mind helping Rei with the sn... Amy, you help Apple Bloom with the snacks. Rei, you’re with Inkie.’

Amy nods and joins the other ponies as they head to James’ cart. Rei grumbles that she will not be left alone with the food. The other adults watch the leaving ponies for a moment.

‘CC, please be nicer to my sister,’ Selene snorts. ‘She is feeling worse today than when I found her after the last meeting.’

‘Sorry, but her actions still really hurt.’

‘Do you know why Celestia is so upset?’ Twilight asks.

Selene shakes her head. ‘Sadly, no. She has not wished to speak of it yet, nor have I forced the subject. She keeps her true feelings hidden from even her closest confidants.’

‘We just have to make her feel at home, put her at ease, show her she has friends who care for her,’ Twilight muses. ‘What else can we really do?’

James looks over at Amy. She is levitating baskets of food while trying to keep up with Apple Bloom’s endless questions. The stallion calmly goes to help Rei and Inkie with the telescopes while the mares keep talking.

James and Amy trot through Ponyville in the pre-dawn hours. James pulls his wagon behind him. Twilight and Apple Bloom are curled up in the back with the telescopes and empty food baskets. They stop at the train station. Amy stares to the east where the sun will be rising in the few hours.

‘Amazing the things gravity can do. No magic required,’ James comments.

‘Silence,’ Amy snorts.

‘Luna shouldn’t be too long. She and Cloudchaser haven’t gotten intimate yet.’

The unicorn groans. ‘What my sister does behind closed doors is her business.’

Celestia removes her necklace perception filter and stretches her wings. James watches the princess as she gets a moment to see one of the cities under her rule without the throngs ponies surrounding her.

‘So, I’ll be getting these two to a bed now...’

‘Mr Wanderer, come sit with me.’

James hitches his cart in front of the station and follows the princess as she makes her way to the platform. With the station still deserted, the two ponies sit in the waiting area. Celestia stares east, down the tracks.

‘Why didn’t you tell Luna you are jealous?’ James asks.

Celestia scowls. ‘I am not jealous. I have no idea what you are talking about.’

‘You growled when you saw Rei randomly tackle Inkie in a hug during setup. You stared at the ground and made some impressive divots with your nervous kicking when Twilight would “inadvertently” bump into me. Last, you excused yourself for a moment to kick down a tree,’ -- he turns to the princess -- ‘don’t deny it,’ -- Celestia snorts -- ‘when Cloudchaser gave Luna a little kiss towards the end of the night.’

Celestia growls and stares at a spot on the platform. James reaches up and tries putting a hoof on her shoulder. The alicorn snaps her gaze to the stallion. He returns the stare.

‘How long have you been feeling that way?’

‘A princess does not feel jealous of the relationships of her subjects... or her most loyal student... or her sister...’

‘Centuries of being lovesick then you have to officiate the wedding of your niece, a number of The Elements of Harmony, including a princess, find a stallion they like, Luna starts fancying other ponies. I am really sorry. Please let me help in any way possible.’

‘I am not lovesick. I just do not have any close friendships outside of Luna and Twilight Sparkle. Now the two of them are growing apart from me. All of my previous prized pupils are dead and gone. The hope of regaining my sister was what kept me from feeling lonely those thousand years. It feels too soon to lose her again and at the same time as my current prized pupil leaves me as well.’ Celestia kicks at the ground, cracking the boards beneath her a little. ‘It is so lonely being at the top. Despite the rumors, it is not great to be the princess.’

‘Twilight can live out several full lives before I live out my first regeneration. Do you know what keeps me going?’

‘What?’

James looks around nervously. ‘It is a secret. Come closer.’

‘You’re not going to try kissing me again, are you?’

‘Promise.’

Celestia sighs and leans down. James reaches up and boops the princess on the nose. She stares at the earth pony who is currently violating several levels of royal protocol and would likely be in irons if the princesses felt the need to bring guards with them. Celestia takes a deep breath and turns her attention back to the train platform. She dons her necklace to retake her disguise as Amy.

‘Of all of the things I might have expected from you, that is possibly the last.’

‘Was it good for you, too?’

‘Just be quiet until Luna arrives.’

James laughs and sits with the princess. After a few seconds, she lifts a foreleg and punches the stallion in the shoulder, knocking him to the platform. She laughs to herself as he picks himself up.

‘A date. Really?’ Twilight cannot believe what she is hearing.

‘Oh, my,’ Fluttershy gasps.

‘Can Celestia even go on a date?’ Applejack asks.

‘Please. Everypony needs some fun now and again,’ Rarity counters.

‘She means a real date, not one of your booty hunts,’ Rainbow Dash groans.

‘Well, everypony needs one of those now and again, too. How else would you explain that Cadence is Celestia’s niece?’

Everypony in the room looks at Luna. The princess blushes and flares her wings out.

‘We were not involved in that in any way!’

Rarity sighs and turns away. ‘Yeah. She’s a virgin.’

‘WOULD THOU LIKE TO REPEAT THYSELF?’ the princess bellows, reaching new levels of Royal Canterlot Voice.

The ponies pick themselves up from under the bookshelf Luna shouted them into.

‘Well, if James is right...’ Twilight begins.

‘When am I not?’ James asks.

‘Then who should we get to take her out?’ the princess finishes with a snort.

Pinkie raises a hoof. ‘OOO! OOO!’

‘No,’ everypony says at once.

‘Aw! You didn’t let me say it.’

The others glare at Pinkie then go back to thinking.

‘If it is just for one date, why not a flake like Thunderlane?’ Dash suggests. ‘Then maybe she and Cloudchaser will get along, having shared dating that guy.’

Luna groans. ‘I would prefer my sister and Cloudchaser bond over something other than that.’

‘I know a number of suitable stallions that would be perfect for the task.’ Rarity levitates a little black book. ‘Does your sister have a length preference?’

Luna stares at the fashionista, not knowing exactly how to respond. The unicorn laughs nervously and puts her book away. Rainbow Dash takes an extra long glance at where her friend hides her book.

‘Ya know, Big Macintosh is a pretty decent guy,’ Applejack suggests. ‘Ah can ask ‘im if he is up fer the task.’

‘He is suitable, considering the alternatives,’ Luna sighs.

‘Just one date with Droll,’ James says. ‘That would be enough to put Celestia off dating for the rest of her life and give Droll a free trip to the moon. It is win-win-win.’

The other ponies groan and facehoof.

Big Macintosh waits on the train platform at Ponyville station. His mane is slicked back, and he is wearing a sharp tie in order to make a good first impression. His impassive expression hides the fact that he notices all the mares looking at him and whispering about him.

The train arrives at the station. Big Macintosh stands tall to help stand out. Then he sees her. A tall, slender white unicorn steps off the train. She smiles and trots straight up to the large earth pony. The stallion is shocked to encounter another pony that can look him in the eyes without him leaning down.

‘Big Macintosh, I presume?’ Amy greets.

‘Eeyup.’

The unicorn wickedly grins. ‘Do you live up to that name?’

If his coat was not red already, the farmer’s blush would have made it so. He looks around nervously and whispers, ‘Eeyup.’

Amy blushes and giggles. ‘Maybe for the second date,’ she whispers in reply. She trots past, swinging her tail side-to-side. ‘Or first, depending on how well you behave.’

Big Macintosh tenses up. Amy looks around the station. She turns back to her date.

‘Where are we heading first?’

James yawns as he trots into the library. He looks around at all of the mares staring at him.

‘This better be important. I just got up,’ the stallion mumbles.

‘It is past noon,’ Twilight grumbles.

‘Whoa, whoa. Hear him out,’ Rainbow Dash defends.

James holds up a hoof. Rainbow Dash flies over and high hoofs the stallion before rejoining the group. James sits with the rest of his friends. He looks around at the others.

‘So...’

‘I believe Applejack has something from her brother to report,’ Rarity says.

Applejack jumps a little. ‘Ah think we should wait fer Luna first.’

The ponies silently wait for their last guest to arrive. Pinkie starts humming a song, which makes Twilight to glare at the pink mare. James closes his eyes for a moment then collapses on top of Rarity when he falls inevitably asleep. The unicorn forces herself free. A midnight blue flash of magical energy signals Luna’s arrival via teleportation. The princess looks around the room and lifts the sleeping stallion aside.

‘I can assume that Applejack told you the bad news already, thus explaining my late arrival,’ Luna huffs.

Everypony looks at Applejack. The farmer purses her lips and looks away.

Luna snorts. ‘I guess not. It turns out that the date did not go as well as we hoped. My sister was dumped after one date.’

‘In all fairness, ya have t’ hear both sides o' the story,’ Applejack replies. ‘Big Macintosh said she was very aggressive. Made ‘im uncomfertable.’

‘He never had a problem with aggressive mares before,’ Rarity says, dodging the stares she gets.

‘Sadly, your behavior is nothing compared to my sister when she tries to be social,’ Luna sighs. The gazes return to her. ‘When my sister tries engaging in personal social events, rather than public events, she behaves quite... provocatively. Cloudchaser and Flitter found that out the first time they met her.’

‘She locked me in her bedroom, too,’ James mumbles in his sleep.

‘The point is that she has abominable behavior when it comes to meeting new ponies.’ Luna looks away. ‘The palace is filled with rumors...’

Twilight scowls. ‘I know... Are there still ones about me?’

‘My favorite is the one about you and her and...’ James starts mumbling, but he trails off to sleep.

Twilight’s friends giggle. Twilight growls at them and kicks the sleeping James.

Luna moans. ‘The problem still remains. Celestia is still feeling depressed and lonely.’

‘I can come back and spend some time with her,’ Twilight offers.

‘That might raise her spirits some.’

‘Giving up on the date so soon?’ James asks.

‘I still agree that is a good idea,’ Rarity says, getting out her little black book. ‘Does she enjoy unicorns that employ their horns in alternative methods?’

All the awake ponies stare at the fashionista. The four winged ponies’ wings are sticking straight up. Rarity puts her book away and grins. Rainbow Dash reaches for the book, but a magical hoof kicks her.

‘Well, what other good stallions are there?’ Luna asks.

‘OOO! OOO!’

‘No, Pinkie!’ everypony shouts.

‘Hey, what about Soarin’?’ Rainbow Dash suggests.

‘Are ya sure he’s the princess’ type?’

Rainbow Dash rubs the back of her head. ‘Well, he’s game for anything, and he always uses protection.’

Everypony looks at Rainbow Dash this time. Even James looks up before quickly going back to sleep.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes dart. ‘I mean, uh...’

The embarrassed pegasus darts out an open window. Her friends sigh and go back to thinking.

‘Isn’t there any stallion that isn’t a creep or will be put off by my sister?’ Luna groans.

Pinkie raises a hoof.

Fluttershy sighs and nods. ‘I think we should go with the nuclear option, too.’

‘He is the only pony that she won’t hit on and won’t hit on her in return,’ Luna adds.

‘He is pretty trustworthy, too,’ Rarity agrees.

Twilight sighs. ‘Fine. I guess he is the best stallion for the job.’

James yawns and stretches. ‘So, what I miss?’

The mares look at each other and nod.

Applejack gets her rope out. ‘We mean t’ have a talk with ya, and ya ain’t runnin’ t’ yer box this time.’

Celestia seals herself in her room. She has finished her daily business and wants to spend the rest of the day alone. Her private phone line rings, surprising her. The princess levitates the phone to her ear.

‘Yes? ... Oh. It is you.’ There is a pause, and Celestia starts crying. ‘Yes. That would be lovely. Thank you. I’ll see you when you get to town. ... No, I am not watching you already!’

Celestia snorts, hangs ups the phone and smiles.

Amy waits on a train platform. She puffs her cheeks as she waits for a train to arrive. The train pulls into the station, and the passengers start unloading. Amy scans the arriving ponies as they pass.

‘Who ya looking for?’

Amy jumps to the side when she notices James beside her. The earth pony smiles up at the taller unicorn.

‘About time you arrive,’ Amy snorts. ‘Do you know how long I have been waiting?’

‘Train just arrived. I’m on time. You are two hours early. Excited to see me?’

‘Shut up.’ Amy blushes and growls. ‘Come along. We have an opera to attend.’

‘Bye!’ James waves from the train.

Amy’s magic pulls the stallion to her. She glares into his eyes then drops him to the ground.

‘Do not worry. I brought these.’

The unicorn levitates a bag of rubber bands from her saddlebags. She adopts a playful smirk.

James smiles. ‘I love you.’

James and Amy trot down the street, giggling like crazy. Thanks to the location of the seats and the rubber bands, the pair have been kicked out of the show. They are still feeling the high from their victory.

‘That was very fine shooting, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Simple physics. Besides, you kept getting them on stage.’

‘Yes, but you ringed that violin bow.’

‘Oh! If only Octy were there.’

Both ponies laugh loudly at the thought of her overreaction. The ponies on the street shake their heads at the disruptive couple.

Amy sighs. ‘I fear I may have to intercede tomorrow to save that poor impresario’s job. His yelling was very enjoyable.’

‘Yeah, that was great. Hey! Double-Doubles on me. We have to celebrate in style.’

Amy frowns. ‘Fast food? Really? You are sounding like my dear sister.’

‘Oh. So she has taken you.’

‘Hardly. I had to scold her on several occasions for going out for such common foods.’

‘Your loss.’

‘I do not see how that is so. Canterlot has some of the finest dining in Equestria.’

‘And now it gained the best since Luna had them expand up here.’

Amy moans and shakes her head.

‘If you don’t like it, I’ll violate causality and warn myself to never date Luna.’

Amy instantly teleports the pair to the local In-N-Out Garden Burger.
…

James calmly sips his drink as he looks across the table. Amy’s face is covered in ketchup and garden burger crumbs. She finishes her burger and gets up.

‘Again!’ the unicorn demands.

‘Not so fast.’

‘Right. I must take time to digest or else I will get sick. Very wise.’

‘Nope. This.’

James holds up a pair of tickets. Amy’s keen vision allows her to read them from across the table. Her eyes go wide in surprise, and she licks her lips.

‘Are those tickets to the Festival of Cakes?’

‘Maybe.’

‘My sister and my dietitian have forbidden me from going near the complex where the event is held. They fear I will destroy my figure.’

‘That may be true of Celestia, but Amy is free to do as she pleases.’

‘Your logic is infallible, Mr Wanderer. Let us make haste to our next destination.’

James laughs and joins his cohort in her mad dash to the door.

The Festival of Cakes is not about just cakes. It is more of a trade show where bakers from around Equestria come to showcase their products to potential clients. Event planners and important ponies from every major city, from the Oranges and Lunamoons of Manehattan to the Heartstrings of Canterlot, use the show to choose the right caterers for their parties. Regular ponies come as well to sample goods that they may not normally get to try otherwise. After the Equestria Dessert Competition, this is the dream event for all ponies with a sweet tooth. Celestia’s advisors have banned her from attending after she was found passed out from a sugar crash several years ago.

James and Amy step into a large convention hall. Amy licks her lips and drools a little. Before the ponies are row upon row of pastry vendors. She gets the nod and rushes off to enjoy herself. James laughs and starts browsing for himself, making note of everypony offering fudge as part of their display.

Stormy could totally blow them away, the stallion thinks.

The earth pony and unicorn trot through the park after seeing the expo. James has a small bag of treats for Rei. Amy also has a small bag of treats, but she is eating a large slice of cake as well. The couple is one of many enjoying an evening stroll. Amy stops and sits on a bench near a large statue of Celestia. James joins the unicorn as she finishes her treat.

‘Though you may never hear this from me again, I had a wonderful time, Mr Wanderer,’ Amy says.

‘Yeah. It was really fun.’ James pauses while Amy finishes the last of her cake. ‘Feeling better?’

Amy stares at the statue in front of her. ‘I would be lying if I said I was completely better, but you have been a good companion for the evening.’

A rubber band rings the statue’s horn and slides down until it is stuck. Amy glares at James. He holds up the bag of rubber bands.

‘Your turn.’

The unicorn snorts. ‘Just when I think I may enjoy your presence, you find some way to frustrate me.’

Amy levitates a rubber band and fires. The shot goes wide and flies over the statue, hitting another couple. The stallion in the couple turns and glares.

‘You win,’ James laughs.

The couple sits in silence for a few moments. Amy takes a deep breath and sighs.

‘Mr Wanderer, do you despise me?’

‘That is the dumbest question in the history of dumb questions, dummy.’

‘Then why do you tease me so?’

‘Do you know why Twilight Sparkle dislikes grape jam?’

‘Yes.’

James grins evilly. ‘So do I.’

‘Your teasing is some way of showing you like us? That is quite immature.’

‘No, I tease you because it is fun. Whether or not I like you has nothing to do with the matter.’

‘Then do you not like me?’

‘What did I say about dumb questions?’

Amy snorts and stares up at the moon. ‘I know you are a nonlinear being, and you try to live a linear lifestyle but know this: in the hundreds of years we have had encounters and truly fantastic arguments, I have grown to enjoy your challenges. You are the only pony throughout history, aside from Nightmare Moon, who can effectively make me reflect upon and regret actions I have taken. Thank you.’

James contemplates the information. ‘Um, no prob? Just doing what I can.’

‘No. Thank you.’

James turns to look at Amy. As soon as his face is even with hers, she leans down and kisses the stallion. The other couples in the park ignore the kissing couple until James reaches up and undoes Amy’s necklace, removing the disguise. Celestia’s full glory is revealed to the public, who stares in awe at the princess kissing a common pony. As soon as the princess is aware of the occurrence, she teleports herself and James back to the palace. She quickly backs away and catches her breath while analyzing the situation. James calmly places the perception filter and Celestia’s bag of treats on a nearby table.

‘Why did you do that?’ Celestia growls. ‘For fun?’

‘Have you ever noticed how serious you are? Amy is a lot more laid back.’

‘I am one of the rulers of Equestria! I cannot be seen in the park snogging random ponies!’

‘Then where can you be seen snogging random ponies?’

‘I hate you! In one action, you ruined a reputation that took me hundreds of years to build!’

‘Then why didn’t you stop me when you noticed my hoof rising to your neck?’

Celestia gasps. ‘You cad! Are you saying I wished to be caught?’

‘Those rumors persist for a reason.’

The princess turns bright red. ‘I-I-I...’

James is gripped by magic and thrown onto Celestia’s bed. As soon as he lands, the alicorn’s mass is upon him.

‘Do you wish to make those rumors true?’

‘You don’t,’ the stallion calmly replies.

‘Of-of course I do! Why else would we be in this provocative situation?’

‘Luna is right. You can be aggressively sexual and are quite poor at seduction.’

Celestia snorts and lets her legs give out, crushing the stallion below her. She pulls a pillow over her head. ‘You’re worse than that red one. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not as attractive as I thought?’

‘You are quite beautiful, but you are confusing a physical relationship to an emotional one. You desire an emotional connection, but you are trying to gain it through physical desires. ... Are you writing this down? I might have to give this speech to Rei at some point... I really am dreading giving her a sex talk. Do you know anypony willing to do that for me?’

The princess stares at the stallion from under her pillow. ‘Why should I believe you? You have yet to do the act, and you just refused an offer from the best.’

‘I highly doubt that.’

‘Care to find out?’

‘One data point to compare to itself? That is probably the most skewed dataset ever.’

Celestia snorts, briefly blowing the pillow up. ‘I despise you.’

James reaches under the pillow and boops Celestia’s nose. The two ponies lay there, one with her head under a pillow, the other with his hoof under the pillow.

‘Mr Wanderer...’

‘Yo.’

‘I just had a shocking thought. Please do not be alarmed with what I am about to say.’

‘My body is ready.’

‘Wasn’t earlier...’ Celestia grumbles. She shakes off the vibe. ‘Anyway, I do believe you are the best friend I have ever had.’

James freezes and stares at the ceiling. He pulls his hoof from under the pillow. ‘I may have to agree with you there. ... Nopony must find out about this.’

‘Agreed. Now, return your hoof.’ James starts reaching under the pillow. ‘Not there. Lower.’

James retracts his hoof and waits for the princess to free him.

Luna yawns and trots back to her chambers after a long night of work. The sun is barely coming out, the light burning the eyes of the Princess of the Night. A large white blob appears in her field of view.

‘Good morning, dear sister,’ Celestia greets.

‘Mor-yawn!’ Luna replies.

‘Please do your best to catch up on your sleep. You have your gaming night tonight.’ The older sister leans in. ‘Mr Wanderer may be a little easier to beat tonight,’ she giggles.

Luna gives her sister a confused look as the older princess prances down the hall, humming a happy tune. She shakes her head and turns back to her goal. James drags himself down the stairway from Celestia’s chambers. He looks at the younger princess.

‘You owe me big after what I just went through,’ the stallion grumbles.

Luna smirks. ‘I know the perfect way to repay you.’

James is lifted by magic and carried to Luna’s chambers as the princess trots past him. The stallion groans and resigns himself to his fate. Down the hall, Celestia listens to groans and complaining. She smiles as she readies herself to go about the first of many good days to follow.

Author's Note

One of my absolute favorite moments in the entire series is when TWP boops Celestia's nose at the train station. It makes me smile every single time.

TWP Timeline: First date with Celestia. Celestia reveals they have history James has yet to experience.

Current TWP Love Triangle: Twilight vs Luna vs Pinkie vs Fluttershy vs Applejack (vs Octavia vs? Celestia)

Fun fact: It is great to be the king. Apparently, the same cannot be said for princesses.

The Physicist's Wife

Main Characters: TWP, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Rei
Cameos: Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie, Spike, Inkie
Original Write Date: 05/15/2012

Warning: This story contains some adult situations but no sexual content, implied or otherwise. Please conduct yourself maturely.

James follows Twilight through Ponyville Hospital. Twilight looks very concerned about something. James is confused.

‘I thought you said everything is all right. Why do you need me?’ James asks.

‘Well...’ Twilight hedges. ‘She is okay physically, but... You just have to see.’

‘Good thing Dash and Rei were on the scene so quickly. I’d hate to think what could have happened to Fluttershy if they weren’t in the area.’

‘It makes me wonder what they were doing in the area to begin with.’ Twilight stops to think. ‘All that is out there is a bunch of animals that Fluttershy takes care of.’

‘Let’s not worry about it. Fluttershy is fine. That is what is important.’

‘Yes... Fine...’

The couple reaches Fluttershy’s room. The pegasus’ friends and Rei are waiting outside with the doctor. The two pegasi in the group seem on edge. James looks at the gathered ponies.

‘So what's up?’

‘You’re Mr Wanderer, correct?’ the doctor asks.

‘Yeah. Last I checked. Is Fluttershy okay?’

‘As far as we can tell, she is fine.’

‘Then, why did you call for me so urgently?’

‘Well, while she only has some light bruises, we think she might have some psychological damage from the event,’ the doctor explains.

‘Physicist. Me explain universe with big words. No brain doctor.’

The doctor opens the door. Fluttershy looks up from her bed.

‘James, is that you?’ Fluttershy calls.

‘Right here, Fluttershy.’ James waves.

‘YAY!’

Fluttershy springs from the bed and tackles James in a hug. She gives the stunned stallion a big kiss on the lips. ‘You have been a naughty husband, keeping your wife waiting like this.’

‘Okay.’ James pauses. ‘This is new.’

Fluttershy is back in her bed. She directs a fierce scowl towards her door. Outside her room, the others gather close to keep Fluttershy from hearing.

‘I swear we didn’t secretly elope or anything of the sort,’ James defends.

‘We know,’ Twilight sighs. She turns to the doctor. ‘Why does she think she is married to James? And why is she suddenly more bold? That is a huge change for her.’

‘It is like she is New Fluttershy but with the nice still intact,’ Rarity comments.

The doctor thinks. ‘It is hard to say what happened to her. If she hit her head, there would be physical damage. If magic was involved, there would be evidence of the charm used.’ He looks at Rainbow Dash and Rei. ‘You two found her. Did you see or hear anything that could be a clue about how she got injured?’

The two normally-excitable pegasi tense up. They briefly glance at each other. They both shake their heads.

‘All we saw was a bright flash in the field near the Everfree,’ Rainbow Dash says.

‘When we investigated, Flutters-chan was sleeping, so we took her here,’ Rei explains.

‘Nothing else?’ the doctor asks. ‘No explosion? Monster roar? Anything?’

The pegasi shake their heads.

‘What if she is a changeling?’ Pinkie gasps.

‘Our tests would have revealed that,’ the doctor replies.

‘Could she be from an alternate universe?’ James turns to Rei. ‘Not like we are inexperienced there.’

Twilight shakes her head. ‘We questioned her about events in our lives. Her story matched except for the obvious exception. It is almost like everything is normal then suddenly you two are married.’

‘The brain is still a mystery to medicine. She is probably just disoriented from whatever injured her,’ the doctor guesses. ‘Just give her some time to return to normal.’

‘And what about my new wife?’

The doctor shrugs. ‘I say just make her happy. She might be a bit of a burden for now, but she will return to normal.’

James takes a deep breath and sighs. ‘Rei, go back home and clean up. I don’t know how this will play out, but we might be in for a houseguest.’

Rei nods and trots out of the building.

‘Is it really a good idea to give into her delusion?’ Twilight asks. ‘What if that only makes it worse?’

‘And how bad do you think it would be if we go in there and tell her she cannot see her husband? I heard the New Fluttershy stories.’

‘But shouldn’t we try convincing her that she is deluded?’

‘Yer one t’ make that argument,’ Applejack mumbles.

The group gasps.

‘Applejack!’ Twilight yells.

‘Come on, Twi. How many times have ya lost control o’ yer imagination and went off on some obsession?’ Applejack retorts. ‘Yer friends had yer back when ya went a little mad. Why can’t ya support yer friends when they are a bit loopy?’

‘But...’

‘Sheesh, Twilight,’ Rainbow Dash groans. ‘This is at least a happy delusion. I haven’t seen Fluttershy this happy about anything since I got Tank.’

‘But...’

‘But nothing, darling. You really have to learn to share more,’ Rarity scolds. ‘Besides, James is an upstanding stallion who has a vested interest in how this plays out. He will certainly do all he can to see that Fluttershy returns to her normal self in no time.’

‘But...’ Twilight stops her argument and moans. ‘Fine.’ She glares at James. ‘You better not do anything stupid.’

‘Twilight. This is me.’

‘... You better not be surprised if we yell at you for doing something stupid.’

James rolls his eyes. ‘That’s more like it.’

An awkward silence falls over the group.

‘So, uh...’ James begins.

‘You are her husband, darling.’

James shudders. ‘Right.’

James looks into Fluttershy’s room. Fluttershy perks up and smiles. The stallion leads the mares into the room. Twilight stands at the back of the room in a huff. As soon as James is in reach, Fluttershy grabs him in a hug. Twilight snorts.

‘So, dear, can I come home now?’ Fluttershy asks.

‘Uh... Yeah. How does that work?’ James is confused. ‘I mean with your cottage and my place and with Rei and your animals and all that stuff.’

‘Oh, right! Most of my stuff is still at my cottage. We haven’t completely moved in together yet. I’ll have to pick up some things before coming home.’

Twilight grumbles to herself in the back.

‘Do you need any help?’ Rainbow Dash offers. ‘I don’t want you hurting yourself anymore than you are.’

‘That would be wonderful, Rainbow Dash.’ Fluttershy smiles. ‘Thank you so much for all of the help you have given me today.’

‘Are ya sure yer feeling okay? Ya seem a bit t’ chipper fer a mare who just went through the ringer.’

‘I am fine, Applejack. As long as I have James by my side, everything will be all right.’

‘OH! OH! We should have a “Fluttershy is better” party to celebrate Fluttershy being better!’

‘I would love that!’ Fluttershy squeals. ‘And invite everypony you can. We never really celebrated our wedding with a proper Pinkie Pie party.’

Every jaw in the room drops. Fluttershy looks around in confusion.

‘Is something wrong?’

‘You just asked for a large party with more than just your personal friends,’ Rarity gapes. ‘I have never heard you do that in all the time we have been friends.’

Fluttershy frowns and crosses her forelegs. ‘Is it so unusual for a mare to want to celebrate her marriage to a wonderful stallion?’

The others shake their heads. Twilight groans and stomps out of the room. Fluttershy glares at the leaving alicorn.

‘Oh, don’t mind her,’ Rarity calms. ‘She is still a little unsettled about the suddenness of today.’

Rainbow Dash scoffs. ‘More like she is...’

‘Jealous of me beating her to the punch,’ Fluttershy growls.

Once more, Fluttershy’s friends are shocked by one of her outbursts.

Fluttershy quickly catches herself and smiles. ‘Sorry about that,’ she giggles. ‘Still feeling jittery after this afternoon.’ She claps her hooves together. ‘Now, I believe I had some packing to do and a party to get ready for.’

Fluttershy sits at the top of the stairs in The Power Block. James explains the situation to Rei as best as he can. The young pegasus keeps looking over at the older one while her father talks.

‘Rei, this is important,’ James snaps. ‘Do you understand what I just told you?’

‘Yeah...’ Rei looks at Fluttershy. The mare smiles at her. ‘When Flutters-chan got hurt, she started thinking that you two are married...’

‘Right, but we are not really married. We just have to pretend until Fluttershy is better.’

Rei nods absentmindedly ‘So, if you two are married, then...’

‘Rei?’

Rei’s face lights up. ‘Then we are a real family now!’ She points to James. ‘Otoo-san!’ She points to Fluttershy. ‘Okaa-san!’ She points to herself. ‘Rei-chan!’

‘Oh geez. This is not what I expected at all.’

‘Okaa-san!’

Rei flies across the room and grabs Fluttershy in a big hug. Fluttershy giggles and hugs the young mare back.

‘I guess I am technically your mom,’ Fluttershy giggles. ‘Just don’t tell my mother I have a teenage daughter now. Even she will freak at the surprise.’

James groans and facehoofs. ‘This is just getting worse.’

Twilight groans as she paces around her room. ‘This is just getting worse!’ She throws herself on her bed. ‘First Luna shows up as Selene and gets in my way. Then Pinkie Pie steals his first kiss before I can. Not to mention Applejack telling me that she likes him and whatever the hell Octavia is doing. Now Fluttershy steals him all to herself just because she got some bump on the head? Give me a break!’

Spike looks up from the desk. ‘Uh... Twilight, are you sure you want this in a letter to Celestia?’

‘She is the only one that will have my back.’

‘Wasn’t it your idea for him to ask her out last week?’

Twilight gasps. ‘That was for the sake of the princess’ well-being. There was nothing romantic about it. They insisted. James kept insisting. Even during the date.’ Her mobile buzzes. ‘And just now.’

Spike sighs and shakes his head. ‘Are you sure you are not just being jealous? Again?’

Twilight gasps louder. ‘Jealous?! Me?! That is absurd.’

Spike glares. ‘Right. And Inkie is still living with us.’

The comment cuts Twilight deeply. She winces. She rolls over and pulls her covers over her head. She raises her wings to hide more. Spike crosses the room and sits with Twilight.

‘Listen, if it is all in her mind, Fluttershy will be fine before we know it. She is not the type to abuse the situation for personal gain.’

‘You’re right, Spike.’

‘Besides, we don’t know what happened to her, so we might not know what is really wrong with her.’

‘You’re right. ... You’re right!’ Twilight sits up. ‘We don’t know what happened!’

Spike facepalms. ‘What crazy scheme are you hatching now?’

‘Spi~ike! I just want to know what happened to my friend. I want to help her get better.’

‘And help you get your guy back.’

Twilight growls. ‘If there are side effects to my investigation, then so be it.’

‘At least wait until morning. Maybe all Fluttershy needs is a good night’s rest.’

Twilight scowls. ‘In James’ bed, no less.’

Spike groans and hops off the bed. ‘This is going to be a long investigation.’

This was a triumph. Pinkie makes a note here: huge success! It is hard to overstate Fluttershy’s satisfaction with her party. After a full day of fun, the celebratory pegasus and her ‘husband’ have left Sugarcube Corner for the evening. The rest of Pinkie’s friends are helping the party pony clean up after the eventful day. Everypony except Twilight seems to be in a good mood.

‘Ah ain’t never seen Fluttershy that excited. She was like a new mare,’ Applejack cheers.

‘She was positively shining,’ Rarity adds. ‘She has never been this social in all of the years I have known her.’

‘You think that is something,’ Rainbow Dash says. ‘I’ve known her longer, and I would never have believed she would ever challenge Flitter to hoof wrestling.’

‘Don’ ferget she actually won.’

‘Way to go, Fluttershy!’

Rainbow Dash and Applejack high hoof.

‘Don’t you think that is a little odd?’ Twilight asks.

Everypony stares at Twilight.

‘How is Fluttershy being happy odd?’ Pinkie asks.

‘She wasn’t herself. How is that not odd?’

‘She was happy,’ Pinkie repeats, empathizing each syllable.

‘You really shouldn’t let your jealousy cloud your judgement, darling,’ Rarity sighs.

‘Jus’ ‘cause she’s with the stallion everypony is after don’ mean you should get so upset.’

‘Wait. She wasn’t always with him?’ Rainbow Dash asks. ‘I thought they were always together. She just finally made her move.’

‘So the entire time James and I have been dating...’

The pegasus’ jaw drops. ‘When did that happen?’

Twilight facehoofs with maximum intensity. ‘Rainbow’s usual level of attentiveness aside,’ she groans, ‘I am not jealous. I am concerned about Fluttershy. I don’t think it is safe to keep encouraging her like that.’

‘You keep saying that, but I keep seeing reasons why it isn’t hurting anypony,’ Pinkie retorts. ‘And don’t call me stupid for not seeing what little reason you keep seeing.’

‘I just want to get to the bottom of how to help her return to normal. I am all for a happy, confident, social Fluttershy, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of her sanity.’

‘Still sounds like jealousy to me,’ Rarity huffs.

‘Yeah. Yer coat’s lookin’ a little green t’ me.’

Rainbow Dash looks at her friends. ‘Seriously. They weren’t a couple already?’

Twilight snorts. ‘Fine. Whatever. I am still going to find out what happened to her. It will ease my mind some finding out that much.’

Rainbow Dash tenses up while the others sigh.

‘At least that will keep you occupied for a while,’ Rarity moans.

Twilight growls and goes back to cleaning.

The next morning, Fluttershy happily trots to the Lotus Spa for her weekly spa day with Rarity. The waiting unicorn lights up when the pegasus enters the building. Fluttershy smiles when she sees her friend. The earth ponies behind the counter greet their new guest.

‘The usual~!’ the cheerful pegasus says, raising a hoof to the air.

The spa ponies grin and start getting ready for the ladies’ session. The two guests trot after the hosts.

‘You’re in a good mood today, Mrs Wanderer,’ Rarity greets.

Fluttershy blushes at the title. ‘Well, I feel good. Yesterday’s party all day and then cuddling James all night...’ She holds her cheeks and squeals.

The unicorn giggles. ‘That is great to hear.’

‘Mesdames, your treatment is ready,’ Lotus interrupts.

‘Excellent!’ Fluttershy passes into the massage parlor. ‘Oh, and be more gentle. My left wing was really sore last time.’
…

The spa ponies are helping their guests into a mud bath. Fluttershy eases herself down with Aloe’s help. Lotus ties Rarity tight in a seaweed wrap before placing cucumber slices over her client’s eyes.

After the mares are settled, Rarity says to the attendants, ‘Excuse me, ladies. Can we have some privacy?’

The two mares nod and leave their patrons. Rarity searches for Fluttershy. The other mare clears her throat to get her friend’s attention.

‘Fluttershy, I am sure you told me, but can you refresh my memory of your and James’ honeymoon?’

The pegasus squeaks nervously. ‘I thought I told...’

‘Just reminisce for me.’

‘Okay...’ Fluttershy starts digging in her memory. ‘Well, he took me on a trip in his ship and...’

‘Yes, that is all good. Get to the juicy parts!’

‘Juicy parts?’

‘Well, technically, there is just one...’

Fluttershy blushes. ‘Oh. Uh. Right. That.’

‘No need to be shy. We have been open with each other about that subject in the past. It was the first time for both of you, if I am correct.’

Fluttershy scowls. ‘Not if that tart Twilight has her way,’ she snarls.

‘What was that, dear?’

‘Nothing!’

‘Oh. Anyway, you were telling me a story of bedroom antics, I believe. So how was he?’

‘Well, um...’ The pegasus almost whines, but she summons her courage. ‘It was very good, actually. He was a real gentleman and made sure my needs were met as well.’

‘Hmm. That is good. Now, sorry it interrupt the rest of your story. Please go on.’

Fluttershy trots up the stairs to the living area of The Power Block after her spa day. James is in the kitchen cooking dinner while Rei plays a handheld game and watches television. Rei looks up at the returning pegasus.

‘Mommy’s home!’

Fluttershy giggles at the title. ‘Not for long. I still need to give my animals their evening meal. Rei, do you mind helping?’

Rei salutes. ‘Yes, ma’am! RSI Adventure Team will not let you down!’

The young pegasus zooms out the living room window to round up her friends.

‘We don’t need...’

Fluttershy groans to herself. James comes out of the kitchen and gives her a kiss.

‘How was the spa? Any good gossip from Rarity?’

‘Oh, just the same old. Apparently, Sapphire Shores will be coming by later this week to make another huge order.’

James leans in and rubs his cheek against Fluttershy’s before kissing down her neck. The mare jumps at the sudden show of affection.

‘James!’

‘What? I thought you liked that.’

Fluttershy blushes. ‘Well, yes, but it was a little unexpected.’

‘Ah! You didn’t mind when I ambushed you in the hot tub on our honeymoon.’

‘When you... Oh, right! I guess I am still on edge from the accident the other day.’

James frowns and looks down. ‘So you won’t be breaking out the socks again any time soon?’

Fluttershy’s blush deepens. ‘Well, I don’t know about that...’

James smiles and gives his ‘wife’ a kiss. Fluttershy sighs contentedly and closes her eyes as the kiss seems to last forever. Then she senses something. She cracks an eye and sees Rei hovering over her father, staring down at her. The older pegasus breaks the kiss and screams.

‘Stormy-kun claimed to have done his animal wrangling for the day which made Sweetie Belle yell at him, and Inkie-chan claims not to be good with animals. Looks like it is just us!’

‘Oh. You scared me.' Fluttershy catches her breath. 'Um, good. It is probably better if it is just us.’

Fluttershy turns and trots down the stairs. Rei flies after her. James takes a deep breath and heads back to the kitchen. He gets out his mobile and starts typing.

Twilight examines a blade of grass through a magnifying glass. She jots notes using her magic. Behind her, Inkie holds up a hoofful of dirt.

‘What are we looking for again?’ the younger pony asks.

‘We are looking for any clues to what hurt Fluttershy the other day. All we know is that there was a bright flash.’

‘Rainbow or blue-white?’

‘What?’

‘Well, there are only two sources of bright flashes I can think of...’

Twilight taps a hoof on her chin. ‘They were the two to find her... I really doubt they would have done something to harm Fluttershy intentionally.’

‘We should check for prismatic abnormalities on the local fauna. Do you have a geiger counter? Or should I get mine?’

‘I have one... Why?’

‘When my sister got her cutie mark, it was due to a Sonic Rainboom. Those leave visible scars on the local fauna in the form of changed colors,’ Inkie states. ‘We had a purple tree on the farm for months afterwards. As for the geiger counter...’

‘Rei’s plasma trail causes the creation of free electrons, beta particles and positrons in her wake,’ Twilight finishes. ‘I still don’t see what proving they were in the area would have to do with why Fluttershy got hurt.’

Inkie shrugs. ‘It would give you somepony to ask.’

Twilight thinks then sighs. ‘I’ll get my equipment. You start looking for discolored plants.’

Fluttershy groans as she returns to her new home. Between some extra-unruly animals and her new, hyperactive daughter, the pegasus is ready to call it a day. Fortunately, Rei was willing to finish caring for the animals, allowing Fluttershy to return home early. The mare heads straight to the shower.

She takes a deep breath as she turns on the water. The rain of warm water comes quicker than she is used to at her cottage. The water even feels purer, too. It feels nice as it washes over her face and through her mane. It feels like the water is wrapping her in a warm hug, kissing the back of her neck, nuzzling her cheek.

‘You’re so beautiful,’ James coos in Fluttershy’s ear.

Fluttershy tenses up. ‘James?’

‘Did I startle you? I heard you slip in the back entrance and thought we could have some private time.’

‘P-private time?’

‘You know. Just you and me. Alone.’ He kisses Fluttershy’s cheek. ‘Husband and wife.’

‘B-but I’m dirty.’

‘We’re in the perfect place for us to get clean afterwards.’

Fluttershy closes her eyes and squeals. James kisses Fluttershy again and runs his forelegs down hers. The pegasus makes a loud whine and pushes the earth pony out of the shower and across the washroom.

‘Not now!’ Fluttershy realizes what she did. ‘Sorry! Please don’t be mad.’

James rubs the back of his head. ‘It is okay. Maybe some other time.’

Fluttershy looks down, her wet mane covering her face. ‘Right... Some other time.’

James picks himself up and trots out of the washroom. Fluttershy whimpers and goes back to her shower.

In her lab, Twilight works uses her magic to mix several test tubes and take notes at the same time. There is a knock on her door.

‘Come in!’ Twilight calls to her guests.

Rainbow Dash and Rei nervously trot into the laboratory. They are a little worried about meeting with Twilight in her basement, with no windows and relatively soundproof walls. The pegasi get even more worried thanks to Twilight’s large grin.

‘Hi, girls!’ Twilight greets. Both pegasi eye the door. ‘I need your help with something.’

‘Uh... Pinkie asked for my help with a new cupcake recipe...’ Rainbow Dash tries dodging.

‘I, um, something crazy and insane and potentially fatal,’ Rei makes up.

‘This will only take a second. I want to know what you were doing in the field before you found Fluttershy.’

‘We weren’t...’

Twilight sets a bag of multi-colored leaves in front of Rainbow Dash.

‘I don’t think...’

The unicorn sets a graph of her geiger counter readings in front of Rei. The pegasi look to each other then turn to Twilight and start begging.

‘It was all an accident!’ Rainbow Dash says.

‘It was all her idea!’ Rei blames.

‘Please don’t hurt us!’ both pegasi plead.

Twilight sighs and shakes her head. ‘What did you two do?’

Rainbow Dash leans down to Rei. They confer for several moments. They look up to talk but instantly clam up.

Rei kicks Rainbow Dash. ‘Go on. It was your idea.’

‘Fine. Shut up,’ Rainbow Dash growls. She takes a deep breath and turns to Twilight. ‘See, my Sonic Rainboom is cool but after seeing the kid’s Plasma Buster, I wondered what it would be like to combine them.’

‘Combine your giant explosion with a process of nuclear fusion? Are you insane?!’

‘Nopony got hurt...’

‘Fluttershy ended up in the hospital! Didn’t you at least think to check for a safe place to try your idiocy?’

‘But mommy isn’t mad...’ Rei whines.

‘She is not your mom! She just thinks she is married to your dad!’

Rei shrinks away.

‘You’re not still hung up on that, are you?’ Rainbow Dash asks.

‘No, but I have an idea why she is confused now. Right now, I am mad at you two for hurting Fluttershy.’ She looks at Rei. ‘Rei, when you get home, tell Fluttershy exactly what happened and apologize like crazy.’

‘Hai, Hikari-sama.’

Twilight turns to Rainbow Dash. ‘You, I want you to do the same next time you see Fluttershy.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’ She sulks for a second then looks up. ‘So you’re not jealous of her anymore?’

‘Shut up, Rainbow Dash,’ Twilight groans. ‘Thanks for telling me what you did. Hope it helps in her recovery.’

‘Why does okaa-san need to recover?’

Twilight thinks for a moment while she chooses her words. ‘Would you rather her be your fake mom or your real mom?’ Rei’s eyes go wide with excitement. ‘I thought so. Rainbow, take care of her. I have to go out for a moment.’

Twilight teleports from the lab. Rei starts giggling. Rainbow Dash looks at younger pegasus.

‘You really like having a family, don’t you?’

Rei grabs Rainbow Dash in a hug. ‘Hai, Dash-sempai!’

Rainbow Dash laughs and hugs the filly in return.

Fluttershy paces around Rarity’s work room while her friend sews a dress. The pegasus whimpers to herself while she trots. Rarity holds up the dress to examine it.

‘Does this look..?’

‘You are using too thick a thread for the trim.’

‘Hmm. Good eye.’ Rarity looks at her friend and sighs. ‘And what has you bothered?’

Fluttershy looks down. ‘Well, um, yesterday James tried to...’

‘Tried to what, dear?’

‘He surprised me in the shower.’

Rarity sighs. ‘Ah, that is always so fun.’

‘Um... We didn’t do anything.’

‘Why not? You are married now. Oh! Was Rei in the house?’

‘No... I just felt guilty. Like I was going to hurt one of my friends.’

‘You. Are. Married. It is not like you haven’t before.’

‘But...’

‘And who are you afraid of hurting? The only one jealous of you is Twilight and that would be something to rub in her nose. … Just not literally. That would be gross.’

Fluttershy snaps up. ‘You’re right. You’re right! That would show her once and for all!’

The pegasus gallops out of the room, cackling evilly. Rarity sighs and levitates her mobile to her ear.

Twilight exits her teleport down the street from The Power Block. She takes a moment to clear her head and regain her energy before trotting down the street. A shadow passes overhead, just the pony Twilight came to see.

‘Fluttershy!’

The pegasus loops around and flies back. She lands and trots up to Twilight. The alicorn is taken aback by Fluttershy’s upset expression.

‘Fluttershy, great to see you. I have something to tell you.’

‘What? That you found a way to try and get between me and James?’

‘No... I...’

‘I know you’re jealous. I know you don’t want us to be together. Face it, you lost. You kids are too young and stupid to understand what we go through with our shyness and loneliness, but we know each other perfectly. I saw him first! I was the first pony he met on his first day in Ponyville! Me! He is mine!’

Twilight backs away. ‘That’s... That’s not it. I just wanted to tell you I found out what happened to you.’

Fluttershy gasps then glares. She growls, ‘What do you know?’

Twilight starts shaking. ‘I-I found out that it was an accident. Rainbow and Rei were trying a stunt, and it went wrong. You got caught in the crossfire and got hurt. I am sorry.’

The angry pegasus backs of a step. ‘It-it is alright. I turned out okay. No-nothing wrong.’

The nervous alicorn kicks the ground. ‘I am sorry for being jealous, too. James seems happy. I have never seen Rei happier. She is a lot more well-behaved too. I... I am glad you are with them. You are a good family.’

Fluttershy is shocked by Twilight’s comments. She feels really bad for snapping at her friend. ‘Th-thank you. Thank you for being understanding.’

Twilight looks up. ‘You are no longer mad at me?’

‘I shouldn’t have been mad in the first place. ... I guess New Fluttershy gets overprotective of her family.’

‘Just don’t let her out too often She might be good at defending the family, but she is really scary when dealing with friends.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind. Um, if you’ll excuse me...’

‘Right. Sorry for keeping you.’

Fluttershy bows slightly and gallops back to The Power Block. Twilight lets out a big sigh.

‘Now that I know what is wrong with her, we can start working on snapping her out of it.’

James stretches his neck as he trots upstairs after work. His neck gets locked to one side once he reaches the top of the stairs and sees what awaits him. Fluttershy looks up from the couch and smiles coyly. She beckons him forward with sock-covered hooves. The stallion dutifully obeys and gets a long kiss as a reward.

‘Welcome home, dear,’ Fluttershy coos, running a socked hoof down his cheek.

‘Good to see you, too,’ James replies.

‘I asked Rei to watch my animals for the night.’ She leans close. ‘We have the house to ourselves.’

James squeaks, ‘Do we?’

Fluttershy kisses James again. ‘In fact, I have something special in mind for tonight.

Fluttershy jumps from the couch. She trots to the bedroom, making sure to run her tail under James’ nose. The stallion whines a bit then slowly follows. He finds Fluttershy with her back to the door, breathing deeply.

‘You can do this, Fluttershy. You can finally win...’ the pegasus mutters to herself.

‘Fluttershy?’

The mare tenses up and turns back. ‘Oh, hey, handsome. Are you ready for some fun?’

Fluttershy waves her tail around a bit. James swallows and trots up to her. He can see her legs are shaking beneath her. He stands beside the trembling pony and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

‘Are you sure about this?’

Fluttershy nods. ‘Y-yes. We are married. This is something married ponies do.’

Fluttershy wraps her tail around James’ and gives a little pull. He gets the hint and moves behind the nervous pony. Fluttershy slowly raises her tail. James’ eyes go wide, and he whimpers. He slowly reaches out a hoof and touches Fluttershy on the flank. At the slight touch, Fluttershy shrieks and tucks her tail back down.

‘NO! Please don’t! I can’t! I am not ready!’

‘But, what about our honeymoon?’

‘We’re not really married!’ Fluttershy sobs. ‘It was all a lie!’

James comforts the crying pony. ‘It is okay. I knew. I just wanted to get you to admit it.’

‘You knew?’

‘Mhm.’ James wraps Fluttershy in a big hug. ‘Let’s get out of here, have a nice cup of tea and talk about it.’

‘That sounds ni...’

Fluttershy’s eyes go wide. She looks at James and gasps. James looks down and grimaces.

‘Um.... Your seduction was really good....’

Fluttershy stares in shock.

‘Uh... Can you give me a moment to take care of this?’

Fluttershy nods rapidly and bolts from the room.
…

James and Fluttershy sit at the kitchen table with their tea. Both are blushing bright red after the attempted seduction. James has scrubbed his hooves raw to put Fluttershy’s mind at ease. The mare’s socks sit on the table in front of her.

‘Um...’ both ponies say as they look at each other. Their eyes lock, and they somehow blush redder. They quickly look away.

Fluttershy whines and mumbles, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It is okay,’ James assures.

‘No. It is not.’ Fluttershy shakes her head. ‘I have been lying to you and my friends. I have been hurting you all...’

‘Do you want to tell me about it?’

‘... Okay...’ Fluttershy takes a long sip of her tea. ‘I was out feeding some animals when I saw Rainbow and Rei playing. I watched as they did their stunt, but then it exploded and knocked me into a tree. While the doctor was examining me, I got the idea to pretend I had a condition where I thought we were married.’ She sips her tea again. ‘It was scary at first but when I saw you and kissed you...’ She smiles and looks at her tea.

‘I am surprised that you were so confident with your act.’

‘I... I was sort of tapping into New Fluttershy a bit, but the time spent with you and Rei has made me stronger.’

‘Hmm.... What are we going to do now? The others have to know of your trick.’

Fluttershy whines again, then whimpers ‘Can we wait a bit? I really like being with you.’

‘Your friends have to know sometime. They won’t be as upset if we tell them sooner.’

‘I’ll tell them. It has to be me, but I want to do it on my own time. The others got to have a lot of time with you when I was too scared to do anything. I want some time with you too.’

James takes a deep breath. ‘Fine. It has been fun living with you these past few days. Not to mention how happy you have made Rei.’

Fluttershy smiles. ‘She is a really sweet kid, even if she and Angel get along too well for my tastes...’

James chuckles.‘Troublemakers do attract each other.’

‘Um... James?’

‘Yes?’

‘You said you knew I was faking my condition. How?’

‘Rarity told me.’

Fluttershy gasps. ‘What?!’

‘Yeah. She figured it out during your spa date.’

‘Oh... But you two played along, knowing that I was intentionally deceiving you.’

‘You were happy. Why would we want you to be unhappy?’

Fluttershy smiles. ‘Thank you. ... Um... How did you know about my shower fantasy?’

‘Um.......'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A red-faced James stares at Rarity with his jaw dropped. The white unicorn plays with her mane while taking a sip of coffee.

‘I’d be worried about touching any of her socks, too. Let’s just say she likes the feel of silk.’ She grins. ‘Then again, who doesn’t?’

James gives a small whine.

Rarity sighs as she looks at the stunned stallion. ‘Pick that jaw up, will you. It is quite unbecoming.’

‘How do you know all of that?’

‘Well, there are several stages to drunk Fluttershy. One drink, she is super shy. Even her reflection in her wine glass is too much pony for her. On her second drink, she is uncontrollably giggly. It is quite cute once you are used to it. Her third drink makes her excessively talkative. She will tell you everything you want to know... even if you don’t wish to know. Fourth drink... Well, New Fluttershy makes her appearance. And Celestia help you if she has a second glass of wine!’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Oh...’ Fluttershy giggles to herself. ‘Good thing that was the only time I had a drink.’

James laughs. ‘That is good to hear.’ He thinks for a moment. ‘So, what do you want to do tonight, Mrs Wanderer? We have the house to ourselves.’

Fluttershy giggles again. ‘How about just a nice night in watching a movie or two?’

‘Sounds like a good idea.’

The two ponies get up from the table. They head to the living room where they hug and kiss again.

‘I am glad I didn’t do anything stupid to maintain the lie,’ Fluttershy says.

‘Me too,’ James agrees. ‘I am really glad I didn’t have sex with you.’ He pauses then snaps to attention. ‘That is something I hope I never say again.’

Fluttershy giggles at her husband and hops on the couch.

Bonus Scene

Author's Note

Physicist's Wife Arc - Part 1

TWP Timeline: First 'wife' - Fluttershy.

Story Event: So, I wanted to do something to shake everything up a bit. As hinted at in Lyra's 'fiction', TWP and Fluttershy somehow magically ended up married. Yes, little Fluttershy is using this to her advantage. If you don't think the whole situation will end up causing harm, stop reading now. If you are worried for how the friendships will develop from here, read on. Trust me. Things get crazy.

PS: Get used to Rainbow Dash being oblivious to her friends' relationships.

Blast from the Past

Main Characters: TWP, Fluttershy, Twilight, Applejack, Luna
Cameos: Spoilers!
Original Write Date: June 2, 2012

Fluttershy and James quickly adapt to pretend-married life. James makes some changes in his routine to allow Fluttershy a role within running the household. He even gets used to sharing a bed with her. Fluttershy gains a new family to assist with her animal caretaking. Her new-found confidence helps in her social interactions as well. She even gets used to sharing a bed with James. Their habits and duties allow them to finish chores the others starts and still have plenty of time together. Both still live their normal daily life as if nothing has changed. Fluttershy starts joining James, Twilight and Luna in their weekly gaming nights.

This week, the gaming group has a guest. Applejack was working late and planned on staying with Twilight for the night. She ended up coming with her friend to The Power Block for the party. The five ponies have a great night of playing games, but they are getting tired of James constantly winning the fighting game.

Twilight sets down her controller. ‘Okay. I am ready for something else.’

‘As are we,’ Luna growls.

‘Anypony else want to play?’ Fluttershy snorts.

‘Come on! I was just getting warmed up!’ James complains.

‘You’re too good at Brawl,’ Twilight huffs. ‘I want to play something else.’

‘Applejack’s not complaining.’

‘Don’ drag me int’ this. Y’all know Ah ain’t as good as any o’ ya.’

James groans. ‘Fine! We’ll play something else.’

The others cheer. The stallion gets an idea.

‘But first, I have a little bet you might like.’

‘My experience with your bets usually lead to a full stomach,’ Luna ponders. ‘We are intrigued.’

‘I don’t trust him,’ Twilight scowls. ‘He has a way of making it work out in his favor.’

James holds his forelegs up defensively. ‘It is simply this. We play one more game of Brawl.’ The mares groan. ‘If I win, I get a kiss from each of you.’ He turns to Fluttershy. ‘No complaining.’

More than one mare gets their hopes up for that arrangement.

‘And if I lose,’ James continues, ‘I’ll take you on a trip in my TARDIS. Deal?’

The four mares stare at the stallion in shock. They turn to each other and nod. Twilight, Luna and Fluttershy pick up their controllers. James laughs and starts the game.
…

James stares at the screen with his jaw on the floor. The mares all high hoof behind him.

‘I lost. I can’t believe I lost. I call hacks!’

‘You lost fair and square, dear,’ Fluttershy gloats.

‘No way was that fair!’ James points at Twilight and Luna. ‘Those two weren’t fighting each other at all! They were even working together!’

‘All’s fair in love and time travel.’ Twilight beams.

Except that love can be won. Fluttershy thinks.

The Defeated Physicist groans. ‘Fine. Let’s get some rest. You never know what sort of adventure you will have.’

James kicks a lever on the TARDIS console to begin ship’s cool down. The four mares are giddily speculating about where they could be. Once the TARDIS stops making noise, James goes to the doors and turns to his travelers. Luna is in her Selene disguise. Twilight wears a light coat over her wings.

‘Now, the most important part about time travel is not interfering. Don’t get yourself noticed. Don’t stand out. Above all else, if you encounter somepony important, just get an autograph and run. Understood?’

‘Shut yer yap and tell us where we’re at already,’ Applejack snaps.

James groans and opens the doors. The group steps out to a busy street. The proportion of unicorns trotting down the street in front of them is larger than in Ponyville. The mares stare, wondering where they could be... until an unicorn stallion glides past on roller-skates and listening to Walkman. They turn back to their host and glare. James finishes locking up his TARDIS, which has taken the shape of the blue police box it is sitting next to, and turns to his guests. Their annoyed looks say volumes.

‘One, I never said where we were going. B... No, that’s not right. Two, we are approximately twenty-four years in the past. Well before you three were born,’ -- he motions to Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy -- ‘and while you’ -- he motions to Selene -- ‘are still mooning us, thus limiting the chance of Blinovitch Limitation Effect wiping out half the universe. Three, or C, how do we know it is exactly half?’

‘James!’ Twilight snaps.

‘And coming in at a distant four or D or that little iv in footnotes, there is somepony I need to see and...’ -- he checks his mobile -- ‘Damn. A few weeks late.’

The mares look at each other and confer privately. They turn back to the stallion. Selene nods to the other mares and steps forward.

‘We accept your terms if you accept ours.’

‘Which are?’

‘First, we are allowed free rein to do as we please for the rest of the day.’

‘Okay.’

‘Second, we wish to procure your wallet for some spending money.’

James gets out his money pouch and sets it in front of the mares. Twilight splits the money between the four of them, leaving a few bits for James.

‘Last, where were you in this time period?’

James thinks. ‘I believe I was with Konami during this time, so overseas writing a code or two.’

The mares confer again before turning back to James. ‘Bye!’

Selene takes to the skies and flies away. Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy gallop off together. James groans, picks up his pouch of bits and trots away.

Selene loops around the city. It is really fun seeing a different version Canterlot. There are far fewer large buildings to get in the way of flying. She spots a large group of ponies and realizes they are in line for a tour of the palace. She giggles and swoops down to join the back of the group. It is going to be so much fun going on one of the tours instead of hosting one.

Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy trot through Canterlot of the relatively recent past. The three friends are not sure what to do. Nothing seems to really catch their interest.

‘Yer parents are from here,’ Applejack says to Twilight. ‘Don’ they have stories ‘bout what they did when they were our age?’

‘I think they were both still in school... No... They must have been married by now since this is right before Shining was born.’

‘ ‘Bout twenty-four years... Shoot. That would mean Big Macintosh was jus’ born. Ah’d hate t’ see mah mom now. She said it was like given birth t’ a bus.’

The mares laugh at the description.

‘Seeing how big he is now, that sounds about right,’ Fluttershy giggles. ‘My mom said I was so quiet when I was born that the doctors kept having to check to see if I was still breathing.’

‘Shoot. That jus’ means yer tougher than the rest of us if ya can take bein’ born and not complain ‘bout it.’

Twilight motions her friends towards a cafe. ‘Come on. Let’s trade stories while we snack. Canterlot always has the best cafes, no matter what year it is.’

The friends trot to the cafe and are shown to a table. They order a round of drinks and snacks.

‘We haven’t really had a chance to stop and chat like this in ages,’ Twilight sighs.

‘I know. We are all so busy with things,’ Fluttershy agrees. ‘I barely have time to make my weekly spa day with Rarity these days.’

‘Ya should just get yer kid and her friends t’ take care o’ yer animals fer ya when ya need a break. Ya know she treats everythin’ as an adventure.’

The pegasus sighs. ‘Rei is a good kid, but she is so much work. It is like I am trying to wrangle my...’

Fluttershy looks over at Twilight. The alicorn is not paying attention to her friends. Instead, she is hiding behind her chair.

‘What are y’all ‘fraid o’?’

Twilight points. The other mares look over. Ayounger version of Twilight’s mother is chatting with adark pink pegasus with a dark blue mane while they wait for a table. Twilight Velvet is showing the early signs of her pregnancy with Shining Armor. Fluttershy giggles at Twilight’s nervous behavior. A third pony, a dark-teal unicorn with a dark-silver mane, trots up and is greeted by Twilight Velvet. The new unicorn appears to be pregnant as well.

‘Wait. That is Amelia. That means the pegasus is Fyrefly. Those are mom’s old friends!’

‘And they are coming this way,’ Fluttershy taunts.

Twilight hides again as her mother and friends are led to a nearby table. The new group is seated on the other side of a hedge from Twilight and her friends.

‘So who do we have left?’ Amelia asks.

‘Just those two,’ Velvet answers. ‘Apple can’t make it. She said she can barely move after the birth. Like she had to force out a bus.’

‘Ha! I can believe that after seeing the pictures of him,’ Fyrefly laughs.

Twilight and Fluttershy snap their attention to Applejack. The farmer stares in shock upon the realization they are talking about her mother.

‘Who do you think the other two are?’ Twilight wonders.

‘Ah don’ know, but is it safe t’..?’

‘Mommy?’ Fluttershy squeaks.

The other two ponies look in the direction the Fluttershy is staring. They see ayellow earth pony with a long pink mane nervously enter the cafe. She slips past the waiters without too much fuss and hurries over to her friends’ table.

‘About time you show up, Posey!’ Fyrefly complains.

‘Be nice,’ Velvet scolds. ‘You know how shy she is. It is great seeing you again, Posey.’

‘Thank you,’ Posey whispers.

Twilight and Applejack look back at Fluttershy. The pegasus is frozen in place.

‘Shoot. If she had a diff’rent cutie mark and wings, she’d be a perfect match fer ya.’

‘I agree. I guess shyness runs in the family.’

Fluttershy shakes her head very slightly. ‘Not her.’ She points to a cloud. ‘Her.’

Twilight and Applejack watch as the cloud moves around the buildings before approaching the cafe. The cloud waits for a waiter to start taking orders from Velvet’s group before moving overhead. Fyrefly notices the shade and looks up. The waiter pulls off her disguise to reveal herself to bea white pegasus with a blonde mane.

‘Surprise!’

The table screams in shock. Posey faints.

‘Got you good. Didn’t I?’ Surprise giggles.

Amelia fans Posey with the menu. ‘You do that enough times and the poor dear will have a heart attack.’

‘It is only in good fun,’ Surprise pouts. ‘Posey knows I don’t mean any harm.’

‘It is okay, Amelia,’ Posey croaks. ‘I don’t mind being startled by Surprise.’

‘See!’ Surprise sticks her tongue out and sits with the rest of her friends.

Velvet sighs and shakes her head. ‘Well, now that we’re all here...’

Back at her table, Fluttershy has finally begun breathing again. The shock of all of their mothers being friends before they were born is still heavy on the group from the future.

‘Is this one of the “don’ interfere” moments or a “get an autograph and run” moment?’ Applejack asks.

‘I don’t know. I don’t know,’ Twilight moans. ‘This is too much!’ She looks at Fluttershy. ‘Why didn’t you tell us your mom is Surprise?’

‘I... didn’t want you to be jealous.’

‘Are ya kiddin’? Yer mom is a Wonderbolt. Rainbow would explode twice if she knew.’

‘This is still too...’

‘I just got in the Wonderbolts as a junior member!’ Surprise declares from the other side of the hedge.

Surprise’s friends clap their hooves.

‘Way to go,’ Amelia beams. ‘I knew you could do it.’

‘Glad one of us made it,’ Fyrefly encourages.

‘How come you never applied? You’re a better flier than me.’

‘Pfft! I prefer to be free and fly where I want. Nopony tells Fyrefly what to do! You can't take the sky from me!’

‘What about you, Posey?’ Velvet asks. ‘Did you find a place for your talent?’

‘Well, uh...’ Posey kicks at her chair. ‘I got a job at the palace as assistant landscaper.’

The other mares stare in shock at their shy friend.

‘A job at the palace is nothing to be shy about,’ Amelia gapes. ‘I don’t think anypony in my family has gotten a gig with the palace.’

‘That is where I know Posey from,’ Twilight realizes. ‘She is the head landscaper back in our time.’

‘So ya know most of these ponies already?’

‘I’ve only met Posey and Amelia once or twice each,’ Twilight replies. ‘My mom used to get together with them when I was a foal. I only heard about Fyrefly in passing. I didn’t know about your mom or Surprise though.’

‘Fyrefly would visit us around the holidays,’ Fluttershy says. ‘I don’t think she had any other family.’

‘That’s jus’ amazin’. Like we were meant t’ be friends before the start.’

‘I know.’ Twilight smiles at her friends then turns to watch her mother again. ‘It is almost like looking at a prototype version of our group back home.’

James sits and enjoys a slice of pie at another of Canterlot’s fine cafes. Unlike his friends, he is in a less fashionable part of the city. The poorer areas of Canterlot are mostly populated by pegasi and earth ponies. They bring an unique sense of culture to the city normally associated with unicorns. Even the poorer unicorns of the town who live in this area bring something special to the culture.

A short, skinny dark purple unicorn with a braided light purple and magenta mane levitates a plate with pie on it past James. She accidentally bumps the older pony while taking a seat at the table behind the earth pony. They exchange polite smiles as the unicorn takes her seat. James laughs to himself since the small size of the unicorn reminds him of Rei. She would probably enjoy seeing another pony about her size.

The small unicorn hums a song while she eats her pie. A pair of older fillies trot up to the young filly. One is a burgundy earth pony with a dark grey mane. The other is a blue-white pegasus with a pale blue mane. The unicorn lights up seeing the other two ponies.

‘Arctic! Mel! I am so glad you came!’ the unicorn cheers.

‘Anything for you, Raspberry,’ the earth pony replies.

Raspberry? James thinks. Why is that familiar?

‘What was the big rush?’ the pegasus asks.

‘I got one last job for tonight! Want to come?’

The older fillies look at each other then at the younger one.

‘Are you sure you want to take us on a job with you?’ the earth pony asks.

‘Do you get paid extra for friends? the pegasus asks.

The earth pony kicks the pegasus. ‘Arctic!’

‘What? She is not the only one that needs money.’

‘I would have to ask, but I am sure you can get paid, too,’ Raspberry smiles. ‘Mr Heartstrings sounded very nice when we talked.’

James chokes a bit on his bite of pie. The fillies look over briefly before they turn back to each other.

‘Can you please come? It is my last night in town, and I want to spend it with my best friends!’

Arctic turns to the earth pony. ‘What do you think, Mel?’

‘I have an important audition tomorrow...’ Mel shrugs. ‘If it is for our beloved Raspberry, how can Melodia Philharmonica say “no”?’

James starts coughing as a bite of pie goes the wrong way. Mel snorts and gives a quick kick to the choking pony’s neck, dislodging the bite of pie. While the stallion takes a drink of water, the filly spins around and glares into his face.

‘Are you eavesdropping on us?’ Mel accuses. ‘Are you a spy? I hate spies.’

Arctic sighs. ‘Not your weird training stuff again.’ She turns to James. ‘Sorry. She is very paranoid because she got this weird training a few years ago.’ She smiles and extends a hoof. ‘Nice to meet you. I’m Arctic Fox!’

James spits his water at the mention of the name. Mel draws a violin bow and holds it under the stallion’s throat.

‘Why are you reacting that way? Do you know us? Did the princess send you to eliminate us?’

‘Mel! Stop it!’ Raspberry shouts. ‘I’m sorry, mister. Hi! I’m Raspberry Soufflé!’

‘R-Ra-Raspberry Soufflé?’ James stutters. Oh shi...

‘Do I know you?’ Raspberry asks.

‘Answer her.’ Mel presses the violin bow down.

‘Sorry. You all have interesting names. I am a little surprised.’

‘See. He is not a weirdo. Well, not much of one,’ Arctic says. ‘Come on. Let’s get to the job!’

The older fillies start trotting away. Raspberry follows a few steps then looks back.

‘But I don’t know his name...’

‘Oh! I’m, uh...’ James looks around for a fake name. He spots Raspberry’s pie. ‘Strawberry! Mr Strawberry.’

Raspberry smiles. ‘Great meeting you, Mr Strawberry. I like you.’

‘You like everypony,’ Mel grumbles. ‘Come on.’

Raspberry waves and follows her friends. James watches the fillies leave then leans forward with his hooves on his temples.

‘Raspberry. Dear Sagan, it is Raspberry. Stormy is going to kill me.’

Selene follows along with a tour group. She giggles every time a fact about Equestrian history or information about Celestia is messed up. The tour enters the statue garden. The giggling picks up as the guide flubs the names of almost all of the heroes represented in stone. The guide stops and turns at the laughing pegasus.

‘Is something funny back there?’

‘You called him Star Swarl!’ Selene laughs.

‘Yes, the great unicorn Star Swarl the Barded. He has a wing in the royal conservatory.’

Selene rolls on the ground laughing. The guide growls and continues onward.

‘Next is a statue of this strange creature. Nopony knows what it is supposed to represent. Let us marvel in its strangeness.’

The group stares up at the frozen Discord. The joyful pose Luna allowed him to take feels like an insult knowing the creature’s true nature. Selene glares at the draconequus. The group moves to the next statue. The angry pegasus steps forward.

‘Discord,’ Selene snorts. She smirks. ‘I have a new coltfriend now. He is several times the stallion you are. We are quite happy together. So...’

Selene turns and shakes her plot at the statue. She laughs and stomps away to rejoin the group.

A pair of green unicorns are speaking to Raspberry and her friends. They are in a large mansion, and the unicorns are dressed for a night out. Raspberry looks a little shaky.

‘We just fed Lyra, and she is sleeping,’ Mr Heartstrings says. ‘She has extra formula in the fridge if she gets hungry, and we showed you where her diapers are. Any questions?’

‘I don’t have anything,’ Raspberry smiles. ‘Thanks again for letting my friends join me. Have a great time at the opera.’

The Heartstrings nod and leave. Once the door is closed, Raspberry sighs and sits down.

‘Are you okay?’ Mel asks. ‘You look shakier than normal.’

‘I’m fine. I just need something to get my blood sugar up.’

‘I hope getting out of the city is good for your body,’ Arctic adds. ‘Getting you in the fresh air everyday will do wonders.’

Raspberry shakes her head. ‘No. We are going back to Fillydelphia. It is just a smaller city.’

The older fillies sigh. They try not to think of their friend leaving them. There is a knock at the door. The three fillies are surprised. They were not expecting any visitors. Raspberry opens the door and immediately smiles.

James waves a blank sheet of paper around. ‘Wandering Physicist, National Department of Physics. I am looking for, uh, wild physics in the area. ... Wow. That is the worst one yet.’

Mel stares at the paper. ‘Says you’re Chet Handsome from International Rescue.’

James looks at the paper. ‘The wife must have been playing around with this again...’

‘Hi, Mr Strawberry!’ Raspberry cheers. ‘Come on in!’

‘Whoa! Hold on!’ Mel warns. ‘Mr Heartstrings said no visitors other than us. He was quite insistent on that point.’

‘Don’t worry. I am quite good with foals. Lyra will vouch for me.’

Mel looks at the stallion. Her jaw drops when she sees him playing with a mint green unicorn baby. The baby squeals happily as the stallion holds her in his forelegs. Raspberry and Arctic giggle at the scene.

‘Who’s a cute baby?’ James coos. ‘Who’s a cute baby? Who’s ... going to change her?’

James sets Lyra on the floor, pushes her away with a hind leg and slides back. Raspberry trots over, lifts the baby with her magic and trots towards the nursery.

‘Don’t worry. That is what they are paying me for.’

The other ponies follow the young unicorn. Mel nudges James.

‘The wife must love how well you handle foals.’

‘It is fascinating to see where she gets that attitude from. Here I thought she was that way on her own.’

‘What does that mean!’

‘Shh! You’ll upset the baby.’

Mel growls and turns away from the stallion.

Time traveling and spying on your parents when they are a little older than you is thirsty work. Twilight washes up after using the little filly’s room when a second pony joins her at the sink. The other patron looks at the young mare.

‘You look a little familiar,’ Amelia says. ‘Have we met?’

Twilight grimaces. ‘Not that I know of.’

‘Hmm. You must have one of those faces.’ Amelia giggles. ‘A cute face at that.’

‘Heh, heh. Thanks.’

Twilight makes her way to the door, trying to avoid the other mare.

Amelia stares in the mirror and sighs. ‘Miss, may I ask you a question?’

‘Was that it?’ Twilight laughs.

‘Oh, I like you. Actually, it is more something I should ask my husband or friends, but, well, I have good feeling about you.’

‘Um.... Thank you?’

‘As you might be able to tell, I am with foal, but I am without a name for the darling. Do you have any suggestions?’

‘Uh... Beatrice would be a nice name,’ Twilight suggests.

‘Hmm... Beatrice... Bea... No, Trix. Trixie. Ah! I love it! The Mysterious and Alluring Amelia thanks you, kind unicorn.’

Twilight is shocked. ‘No... problem...’

Twilight finally leaves the washroom and rushes back to her table. Her friends look at her.

‘Y’all okay?’

The shocked alicorn laughs nervously. ‘Oh, fine. Perfectly fine.’

‘Did something happen?’ Fluttershy asks.

‘Oh, nothing. Nothing. I just named Trixie. Nothing major.’

Twilight’s friends stare at the princess in shock.

‘Isn’ that exactly the timeline changin’ thin’s James told us t’ avoid?’

‘To-to-to be fair, we never knew where her name came from.’

Applejack sighs and shakes her head. Fluttershy starts giggling at her friend.

‘Hey!’ Fyrefly shouts from the other side of the hedge. ‘Why am I the only one drinking? I know Posey is a wuss, but you gals aren’t.’

Posey scowls at her friend. Surprise blushes a bit. Velvet shakes her head.

‘Fyrefly, you know Amelia and I are pregnant.’

‘Pfft.’ Fyrefly turns to Surprise. ‘What’s your excuse? You’re usually a party animal.’

‘Well, uh... I was waiting to tell you...’

Amelia returns and looks around. ‘So, what are we talking about?’

‘I have a huge surprise!’ Surprise shouts.

A lot of cafe patrons look at the white pegasus. The time travelers lean closer.

Surprise blushes bright red. ‘I am with foal, too...’

‘Congratulations!’ the pegasus’ friends cheer.

On the other side of the hedge, the pegasus there is getting teased by her friends too.

‘Guess James messed up when he said there was only one Fluttershy in this time,’ Applejack teases.

‘Applejack, we should really shy away from teasing her,’ Twilight scolds.

The farmer glares at her friend. ‘That was a bad pun, and ya know it.’

‘Sorry if I can’t be as punny as you.’

‘Ugh. Jus’ go back t’ worryin’ ‘bout how ya named yer rival before she was born.’

Fluttershy breaks her shock by giggling at Twilight again. The alicorn growls at her friend, and they return to listening to their parents.

‘Who’s a less smelly baby? Who’s a less smelly baby?’ James coos as he plays with Lyra.

Mel groans. She is watching the room while standing on her hind legs.

‘Lyra is a less smelly baby!’ Raspberry cheers, joining in the game.

Lyra squeals and claps her hooves.

Arctic stares at a plush unicorn as tall as she is. ‘How come the rich kids get all the good toys?’

‘You could always steal one,’ Mel suggests.

Arctic shakes her head. ‘Never. I would never approve stealing anything.’

‘Even if it is for the good of your family?’ James asks.

Arctic looks at the stallion then back at the plush. ‘I doubt something like this would serve any good for the family. If I ever had to steal for my family, it should only be the most basic necessities, and we would always pay the victim back when we could.’

‘Can I hold you to that?’

‘Why are you here?’ Mel snorts. ‘You must be a spy.’

‘Lighten up, Mel,’ Raspberry sighs. ‘He is not hurting anypony. He is fun. Right, Lyra?’

The baby laughs but stops with pained look on her face. Her horn glows and a bolt of magic shoots out, aimed at the distracted Arctic.

‘Watch out!’ Mel warns.

The earth pony throws a nearby mirror in the path of the magic. The bolt is reflected off the mirror, into Lyra’s crystal mobile and back at the baby. She is knocked backwards from the shot. Raspberry screams in horror and checks on the foal. James quickly scans Lyra and the room with his sonic.

‘Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! I didn’t know that would happen!’ Mel panics.

Raspberry lifts her ear from Lyra’s chest and sighs in relief. ‘She is fine. She just knocked herself out.’ She laughs. ‘I should have warned you about our magical outbursts. Unicorn babies have them occasionally.’

‘Could she have hurt us?’ Arctic asks.

‘Not likely,’ James replies as he checks his sonic. ‘That was only a simple memory spell. It would probably help you do better on exams, but it wouldn’t have left any lasting effects... I think.’

‘How can you tell that, Mr Strawberry?’ Raspberry asks.

‘What’s that weird metal thing you have?’ Mel demands.

‘Do you think we can get her to do that again?’ Arctic wonders.

‘Uh...’ James adjusts his glasses. ‘I’m just smart. This is a toy of mine. And sorry, probably not.’

‘Damn.’ Arctic kicks at the ground.

‘Can I see your toy?’

James hides his sonic. ‘What toy?’

The filly growls at the stallion. Raspberry lifts Lyra and places her in her crib. The baby wakes and coos. James goes to the crib and holds up a hoof.

‘How many fingers am I holding up?’

Everypony gives him a queer look. Lyra burbles.

‘You know, fingers. Wiggly things at the end of the hand. Like on a human.’

Everypony is more confused. Lyra gurgles.

‘A human. Big pink or brown hairless ape. What do they teach you?’

Lyra babbles and rolls over.

‘Being a baby is only an excuse! Sheesh! I thought you knew everything about... Uh oh.’ He turns to the confused fillies. ‘Did I say that was a memory spell?’

‘Um... Mr Strawberry, were you speaking baby just now?’ Raspberry asks.

James’ eyes dart. ‘Maybe.’

‘Can you teach me! That is so cool!’

‘Nopony can speak baby, Raspberry,’ Mel groans.

‘He can, and it is cool,’ Arctic replies.

Mel growls and stomps from the room. The others sigh and go back to playing with the baby.

Selene trots toward the palace exit with the rest of the tour group. She is snickering at the constantly-flubbed tour the guide gave. Her fun comes to an end when she notices that Celestia is greeting all of the guests as they leave. The pegasus scoots to the end of the pack as fast as she can, but the crowd pushes her forward. She looks away from her sister to try and avoid attracting any attention.

‘Excuse me, miss.’

Selene looks to see Celestia smiling at her. ‘Yes?’

‘I did not catch your name.’

‘Uh, Selene.’

Celestia’s smile widens. ‘Miss Selene, would you mind joining me in my chambers as soon as I am done here?’

Oh, sister. This is how the rumors get started. ‘It would be my pleasure,’ Selene smiles.

‘Wonderful! Guards, make sure she is well taken care of until my arrival.’

Selene follows the guards away, groaning about the potential rumors she just spawned.

Lyra stares at Mel as she practices her violin. The baby seems entranced by the music. She reaches for the violinist.

‘Let her play with it,’ James says. He smiles at the baby. ‘Don’t you love plucking strings?’

Lyra squeals happily.

‘Are you kidding?’ Mel huffs. ‘Do you know how long it took me to save up to buy this? I can’t even afford new strings.’

‘I will buy you a new one if she breaks it.’

Mel glares. ‘Who are you?’

James smiles. ‘I’m Mr Strawberry. You’re Melodia Philharmonica, greatest violinist in Equestria. One day your name will grace buildings.’

‘Buttering me up will not win you any favors.’

‘Unless you are Pinkie Pie and speaking literally,’ James laughs.

Mel’s jaw drops a little and she shakes her head. ‘You’re insane.’

‘You know what, I’m going to get you a new violin anyway.’

‘You are some random stranger we met in a cafe. Raspberry and Arctic may like you, but I still think you are a creep. You make one wrong move, and I will slit your throat.’

James steps over to Mel. ‘Do I really look like the type of pony who would take advantage of three young fillies, one of whom is underage?’

Mel blushes a bit as she studies the stallion’s face. ‘I-I guess you are okay. If my friends trust you, I should, too.’

‘Good, because Lyra is eating your violin.’

Mel screams and tries pulling the violin from the baby unicorn. James trots away.

‘Raspberry, Arctic, I’m starting dinner,’ the stallion calls. ‘Can one of you start something for Lyra?’

The reunion at the cafe is winding down. The friends are saying their goodbyes. Fyrefly hovers in the air and sniffs.

‘Seriously, none of you smell Apple?’

‘Give it a rest, Fyrefly,’ Amelia sighs. ‘You just miss her. Admit it.’

‘So what? Just ‘cause I want to see all of my friends doesn’t mean I am making up smelling one of them.’

The others groan, exchange the last of their hugs and head into the city. The time-traveling mares relax and prepare to leave as well. Twilight counts out the money James gave them, making sure everypony pays their fair share.

‘Well, that was interestin’. Felt like Ah learned a lot ‘bout our parents,’ Applejack comments. ‘Ah can’t believe yer mom is so energetic, Fluttershy.’

The pegasus laughs nervously. ‘Yeah... She is...’ She sighs. ‘I just wish she would ease up on those of us not as hyper as she is.’

‘Bet ya wish ya could have told her that.’

Fluttershy giggles. ‘Right.’ She poses. ‘Miss Surprise. If your future daughter turns out to be really, really, really shy, please don’t push her to make friends too hard. That might make her even shyer.’ She giggles again.

Applejack laughs too. ‘Ah know what ya mean.’ She poses with a hoof on her chest. ‘Ma, when somethin’ on a high shelf gets busted, keep in mind that yer son is at least two heads taller than yer daughter.’

The two ponies laugh and turn to Twilight. The alicorn looks up from her organizing.

‘Oh, uh, those were good impressions.’

‘Twi, we were givin’ pertend advice to our mas.’

‘Way to pay attention there,’ Fluttershy sighs.

Twilight growls at her friend.

‘What would ya want t’ say t’ yer ma?’ Applejack asks.

Twilight taps her hoof on her chin for a moment. ‘I would tell her...’ She blushes. ‘Never mind.’

Fluttershy grins evilly. ‘We went. It is only fair for you to share too.’

Twilight looks down and kicks the ground. ‘I would tell her to remember to always knock,’ she whispers.

Applejack blushes and shakes her head. Fluttershy laughs loudly at her friend. Twilight’s blush deepens. She trots away to pay the bill. The others leave the cafe, shortly followed by Twilight. They start trotting down the street looking for the next thing to do. Fluttershy giggles at Twilight again.

‘So, uh, what now, girls?’ Applejack asks, trying to relieve the situation.

Twilight snorts at Fluttershy then turns to Applejack. ‘I think one of the original Daring Do movies is from around this time. Maybe we can catch it.’

‘Sounds like a plan t’ me. Fluttershy?’

‘That would be fun. The originals are way better the the new one.’

‘To be fair, the new one was based on the last book.’

Fluttershy grimaces. ‘Right. That one. That damn refrigerator.’

The group looks around for a movie theater. Twilight leads the group in the direction of one she knows in the future. Along the way, Applejack scrunches her face as she thinks.

‘Fluttershy, can ya explain something t’ me?’

‘I can try. What is it?’

‘Well, the whole time that Fyrefly said she smelled apples. Now, Ah heard Dash say that t’ me a few times. Is that a pegasus thing?’

‘I’ve been wondering that, too,’ Twilight says. ‘Rei tells Inkie that she smells like something different every time they meet.’

Fluttershy giggles. ‘That means she likes you, Applejack.’

The farmer stops in her tracks. ‘ ‘Scuse me?’

‘Uh, you see, when a pegasus likes somepony, our noses become more sensitive to the smell of the pony we like. It allows us to better detect each other in the air where the atmosphere is thinner.’

‘So yer sayin’ Rainbow...’

‘AJ, she has said that about everypony in the group,’ Twilight huffs. ‘And Soarin’ and Spitfire and both our brothers and about several other ponies. You have nothing to worry about.’

‘Ah guess. It jus’ is a mite unnerving.’ She stops again. ‘Wait a tick. Scoots has said the same thin’ ‘bout AB.’

‘Don’t tell me you are prejudiced,’ Twilight groans.

‘Heck nah! It is jus’ surprisin’ knowin’ what that means now.’

The group continues toward the theatre.

‘So... Fluttershy...’ Twilight begins.

‘Yes?’

‘What does James smell like?’

Fluttershy looks down and blushes. She has a wide grin.

‘Twilight! It ain’t nice askin’ something personal like that.’

‘Come on, AJ! It is not like I am asking to do page one-thirty-seven with her.’

‘Page what now?’

‘Potatoes and pineapple. His favorite foods.’

‘What?’ the other ponies ask.

‘That is what he smells like. I love that smell in the morning.’

Fluttershy giggles to herself. Her friends smile at her joy. Once Fluttershy is recovered, the group continues to the theatre.

Arctic comes down a flight of stairs. She hums a happy tune to herself.

‘Stealing’s bad, m’kay.’

The pegasus sees James standing at the bottom of the stairs.

‘Duh. I’ve worked so hard to make it this far. I’d hate to throw it all away. I was just helping Raspberry with Lyra.’

‘So, no stealing for you?’

Arctic rounds the railing. ‘Why do you seem to think I am a thief? That is the only thing I don’t like about you.’

‘Sorry. I am just trying determine your stance on the issue.’

‘I am opposed to all stealing. Sure, there might be some justifiable reasons, but those still should be punished in some form.’

‘You are really that opposed to stealing? What if it was a loved one doing it for the family?’

‘I would hope that any member of my family would know how morally opposed to stealing I am.’

‘So she does have reason to be worried...’ James mumbles.

‘Who? What are you hiding from us?’

‘If I could give you all the money you would ever need, would you take it?’

Arctic takes a step back. ‘How much are you talking about?’

‘Anywhere from just enough to scrape by to infinite.’

The pegasus stares at the stallion. She shakes her head. ‘No. I cannot accept that. I would rather earn everything myself. Even if I remain poor forever, I rather not get the charity.’

James smiles and gets out a card. ‘I want you to have this. If you ever need any money for anything, you will find just enough in this account. It will never be more than you need, so don’t expect to abuse it.’

The stallion puts the card in Arctic’s wing. She lifts it in front of her face.

‘I hope I never have to use this.’

‘Just keep it somewhere safe. Somewhere where your family will never find it, even if you have a really clever girl.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind.’

There is a clopping at the top of the stairs. The two ponies look up to see Raspberry standing there. Her face is flushed and she wobbles a bit.

‘Mr Strawberry... I don’t feel so good...’

Raspberry faints and falls down the stairs. Her friends rush to catch her but by the time they get to her, she is already unconscious and her horn is cracked in a couple places.

‘She’s burning up,’ James says. ‘I have to get her to a hospital. Stay here and explain what happened to Mr Heartstrings. Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.’

The stallion lifts the injured filly onto his back and gallops away.

Selene paces in her sister’s bed chambers. They are as dull as in the future. Would it kill Celestia to purchase a television? The door to the chamber opens. Celestia enters and stares down at the pegasus.

‘It has been nearly a thousand years.’

‘What? I am just...’

Celestia levitates the glasses from Selene’s face. Luna is revealed.

‘Dear sister, it is nice that you came to visit.’

‘I have not broken out of containment, if that is what you are thinking.’

Celestia shakes her head. ‘No. I know it is your friend Mr Wanderer.’ She scowls. ‘He enjoys visiting me from time to time and arguing about policies of mine or actions I have taken. He was quite furious about your imprisonment.’

Luna blushes. ‘Oh, James...’

The older sister snorts. ‘Right.’ Her expression softens. ‘Dear sister, sit with me. Please. Let us talk.’

‘I do not think that is wise.’ Luna backs away. ‘As you have guessed, I am from a time when I am free once more. I would hate to reveal secrets of what is to come.’

Celestia sighs. ‘I understand. But please, can we at least talk about times of old?’

‘Only if you wish to discuss them again in twenty years,’ Luna laughs.

‘Anything for my dear sister.’

The sisters laugh and begin chatting.

Raspberry wakes in a hospital bed. She looks around for a doctor and finds James sitting next to the bed with his head down. She smiles and reaches out to him.

‘Good morning, Strawberry.’

James looks up. ‘Hey.’

‘I am so happy to see you. I was hoping to see you before I left.’

‘Right... Before you left...’

‘I should have told you. I have a weak body. I have been sick for a long time. My family cannot afford the proper treatment if we live here, but we can if we move back home. I’ll be getting better.’

‘No you won’t...’ James whispers.

‘Whatever happens, I will be okay.’ She tries getting up and groans.

‘Don’t try moving. You took a tumble and hurt your legs. ... You also cracked your horn.’

Raspberry giggles. ‘That will make baking more fun.’

‘I... I have a treatment that will speed up recovery by about a week. It hurts a lot.’

‘I’ll take it. If you apply it, I know it won’t hurt.’

‘Are you sure? It has produced literally record-shattering screams.’

Raspberry smiles. ‘I trust you.’

James sighs and unwraps Raspberry’s horn. He takes a bit of treatment on his hoof and touches it to the cracks. Raspberry flinches and bites her lip but does not react in any other way. James rewraps the horn and cleans his hoof.

‘Thank you. I am sure I’ll heal perfectly.’

‘I am impressed by your calm.’

‘Mr Strawberry... I know I am not well. I honestly don’t know if I will ever get better, but today has been one of the funnest days of my life. I really owe it to you. If today were my last day, I would die happy.’

James looks down to try and hide his crying. ‘I see why everypony loves you. You are so strong. I could save you, but I can’t. So much would change, and I cannot allow that to happen.’

‘Oh, Strawberry. You care so much. Thank you. Do not worry about me. If... If you are ever in Fillydelphia, look me up. I would love to see you again sometime.’

‘We will meet again... and I will have a special gift for you.’

‘Then I will have to get one for you as well.’

James shakes his head. ‘No, you won’t. You won’t have a gift.’

‘Then I’ll have to give you one now. Come here.’

‘What?’

‘I have a special gift for you. Come closer.’

James leans in and Raspberry kisses him. After a few seconds, she leans back with a large smile.

‘You are great for a first kiss.’

‘Heh, heh. A lot of ponies have told me that.’

‘I love you, Strawberry, or whatever your real name is.’

‘What?’

‘I may be fourteen, but I am not stupid. I know that isn’t your real name. It doesn’t matter. I love you all the same. I look forward to seeing you again.’

James nods and leaves the room. He closes the door behind him, wipes the tears from his eyes and sighs.

‘Don’t worry. I took care of the bill. Her family should be here soon. I have a favor to ask.’

‘Anything,’ Mel replies.

‘Ask your organization to look after her. I’ll take over for her son but make sure she is safe.’

‘I’ll pass that along.’

‘Thank you. Tell them it is a favor for Wanderer. They’ll know who I am.’

‘You’re Wanderer?!’ Mel scowls. ‘I thought you would be handsomer.’

James smiles. He trots away, stopping only to briefly wave.

James huffs as he makes his way back to the TARDIS. A shadow flies overhead.

‘Hello, sweetie,’ Selene greets.

‘Who did you encounter?’

‘I did not spend the evening with my sister if that is what you are implying.’’

James groans. He sees the other group trotting up. While the others wave, Fluttershy flies forward and gives her husband a kiss.

‘Best kiss I have had all day.’

‘Compared to what?’ Fluttershy growls.

The stallion sighs. ‘I’ll explain after we get home.’

The large group continues back to the TARDIS. As they approach the alley where it is parked, they see another pair of ponies coming towards them. One is a brown stallion with a curly mane. He is wearing a baggy overcoat, floppy hat and very long scarf. The other is a light purple mare with a light orange mane. The stallions stop and stare at each other. They look down the alley at the two blue boxes at the other end.

‘James...’

‘Yeah, Theta?’

‘I thought I asked you never to park next to me.’

The Time Lords groan and try figuring out which TARDIS is which.

Author's Note

Physicist's Wife Arc - Part 2

TWP Timeline: First time Lyra meets TWP. First time Raspberry meets TWP.

Story Timeline: Twilight names Trixie. Luna moons Discord. Celestia encounters Luna. Raspberry moves back to Fillydelphia. Lyra gains her perfect memory.

Number of times Raspberry's horn is cracked: 1

Story Event: The connections. Twilight Velvet (Twilight's mom), Amelia (Trixie's mom), Surprise (Fluttershy's mom), 'Apple' (Applejack's mom), Fyrefly and Posey all knew each other before their children were born. The group sort of drifted apart after the loss of 'Apple', though I would think things died down after Surprise left to raise Fluttershy. Except for 'Apple' and Fyrefly (which is due to lack of trying), expect to see the others again and how their relationships to their daughters evolve.

Oh! And I left Rarity's mom and Cloudy Quartz out since I didn't think they would interact with the others in a reasonable way. Plus, with the exception of Amelia, the others are all the prototype form of the Mane 6 before show production.

Reunion

Main Characters: Twilight Velvet, Posey, Firefly, Surprise, Amelia, Arctic Fox, Melodia, Stormy
Cameos: Luna, Lyra, TWP, Lucas
Original Write Date: June 9, 2012

‘You kissed Stormy’s mother!’ Twilight shouts as she stomps out of the TARDIS.

‘To be fair, she was the one that kissed me.’

‘And how old did ya say she was?’ Applejack asks.

James pauses for a long time. ‘To be fair, she was the one that kissed me.’

‘Be nice to him,’ Fluttershy defends. ‘He was doing a favor for a sweet young girl. I’m okay with it.’

‘She kissed me, too.’

Twilight and Applejack grumble about that comment. Luna moves to the center of the room.

‘I should be leaving. There are many things I must discuss with my sister.’

Luna powers a spell and teleports away. She materializes on the palace grounds. The guards surrounding her teleportation zone return to their normal patrols. Luna bows to them and trots towards the palace. She stops when she notices a pony landscaping in one of the side gardens. She trots over and admires the work being done.

‘You constantly outshine yourself, Miss Posey.’

‘Why thank you...’ Posey turns and shrieks. ‘Nightmare Moon!’ She catches her breath. ‘Oh. Sorry, Princess Luna.’

Luna sighs and shakes her head. ‘It has been a few years since my return. Am I really that scary still?’

‘No... I was just startled by your sudden appearance.’

‘Hmm.... I would like to have you and your family for dinner,’ -- Posey faints -- ‘so we can clear up all of the misunderstanding. Son of a...’

The princess groans and goes to get some water for the unconscious pony.

Twilight Velvet does some grading in her office before her first class. She sighs and looks out the window at a group of friends hanging out and eating breakfast. She smiles and starts searching her desk.

‘I wonder...’

She finds an old address book and flips through it.

Several days later. The morning train pulls into Ponyville station. A burgundy earth pony mare in a dark blue dress steps to the platform. She raises her black, feathered hat, exposing her dark grey mane, as she takes in the station. She smiles and trots through the station to take in the rest of the town.

The shops are amusing, and the townsponies greet her warmly. She makes mental note of various shops for future perusal, notably the confectionary, after her business in town is concluded. Suddenly, there is a disturbance from a market stall. A large, dark green earth pony stallion chases a blue-white pegasus mare down the street.

‘Get back here, thief!’ the stallion bellows.

‘I am not a thief! I was just resting back there!’ the mare shouts back.

The pegasus dashes past the fancy mare. The well-dressed pony glances at the pegasus as she passes. She raises a foreleg and a blade appears from under the dress. The stallion skids to a stop before hitting the blade, shaving a bit of his coat from his neck.

‘It would be wise to leave my friend alone.’

The stallion nods and gallops back to his shop. The fancy mare retracts the blade and turns her nose up. She turns to the pegasus.

‘You should have told me you were going to fly in early and find a place to stay. I would have willingly bought you a ticket to ride with me, Arctic.’

Arctic Fox shakes her head. ‘No way, Mel. You know I don’t care for handouts.’

Mel growls. ‘I assume we were both invited to the same event. It would have been logical for us to travel together.’

‘Fine! Maybe on the way back. My wings are killing me from the flight from Canterlot. ... Wait. You were invited too?’

Mel gets out a strawberry-print envelope. ‘A set of geographical coordinates and a time in a letter postmarked from this town.’

Arctic gets out her letter. ‘Yeah... Here... This was where...’

‘Just because we haven’t heard from her in years does not mean something bad happened. Besides, look at the print. Hopefully that means she found her prince again.’

The mares return the letters to their bags. They continue through the town in silence. Mel glares at the stallion vendor as she passes. Arctic’s stomach growls.

Mel sighs. ‘You are not rejecting my offer to take you to breakfast.’

‘Only if we go to the place with a cupcake on top. I have high hopes for it.’

Twilight Velvet enters a small ballroom at the palace. The ballroom is covered in decorations and a large buffet of snacks has been laid out. She smiles when she sees the organizer hard at work.

‘You have outdone yourself again, Posey.’

Posey spins around. ‘Oh! It is you. I was afraid Princess Luna was sneaking up on me again.’ The mare looks away. ‘She was the one who arranged for everything.’

‘Posey thinks the princess is going to eat her,’ a voice calls from above. Fyrefly swoops down and greets her friend. ‘Been too long.’

‘I have missed you, Fyrefly,’ Twilight Velvet replies. ‘Have you been well?’

‘I’ve been keeping busy. Somepony has to clean up after your kid’s wedding.’

‘Yes, and he has been the one doing it since it is his job.’

‘Pfft. I meant somepony has to do all of the secret cleaning up.’

Posey groans. ‘Not this secret training stuff again. It didn’t work when we were in college. We’re not going to believe you now.’

Fyrefly snorts and turns away. She flies over to the buffet table and reaches for a sandwich.

‘Surprise!’

The pink pegasus is tackled in a hug as soon as she touches the food. Surprise lets go and smiles at her friends. She drips mustard and mayonnaise on the floor while pieces of lettuce and tomatoes hang from her hair. Posey growls and goes to get a mop.

‘Do you know how long I have been waiting for one of you to come over?’

‘Geez! Now I am covered in goo!’ Fyrefly complains.

‘You would be covered in juice if you went to the punch bowl first.’

‘You’re as weird as ever.’

‘Surprise, do you know where Amelia is?’ Twilight Velvet asks.

‘Not a clue, but we can find her through the power of montage!’

‘No need, dear Surprise. The Mysterious and Alluring Amelia Lunamoon has arrived!’

The ponies look toward the entrance to the hall. The unicorn is standing the doorway, posing, as a magical fog surrounds her. Posey grumbles and opens a window to vent the room. Amelia trots into the room with head held high. She stops in front of Twilight Velvet. The friends stare at each other for several moments before hugging.

‘It has been forever, Amelia.’

‘Feels like longer, dear.’

‘Come on. We have a lot of catching up to do.’

The unicorns trot over to the food tables and join their friends.

Arctic and Mel trot through Ponyville guided by the GPS on Mel’s mobile.

‘I still say you should move in with us. We have the room, and you know it,’ Mel says.

‘Mel... No,’ Arctic replies.

‘You have been over when you needed to borrow a dress for one of my shows. We have enough room for you, your husband and Octavia and her fillyfriend if she ever moved back. Why would you not want to live in a mansion?’

‘I want to earn it myself. My husband agrees with me. We will work hard and earn it on our own.’

Mel groans, then smiles and taps her chin with her hoof. ‘You know, we have been looking for a live-in housekeeper or two...’

‘Mel...’

‘What! You can’t blame a friend for wanting to help you out. Don’t tell me that staying with your daughter is out?’

Arctic shakes her head. ‘We don’t want to take advantage of her. Besides, what if she brings a coltfriend home?’

Mel giggles. ‘I doubt that would be a problem.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘Nothing~’

Arctic growls at her giggling friend. The mares continue through the village.

‘You know...’

‘What now?’

‘Octavia and I are looking at purchasing a majority stake in Skybound’s old music school. We could use a new headmaster...’

Arctic snorts and trots ahead of her friend.

‘What! You would have to get cleared by the board so it would not be like we are giving it to you. It would be hard work, and you would be able to lift yourself up as well.’

‘I’ll think about it. Are we about there?’

Mel checks her mobile. ‘Just a few more meters.’

Arctic stops. The earth pony stops beside her. The pegasus covers her mouth as she gasps. The ponies slowly enter Ponyville Cemetery as they complete their quest. Mel points in the direction they have to go. As they near the destination, the see a magenta unicorn sitting next to a grave.

‘Raspberry!’ Arctic shouts as she gallops to the grave.

Stormy turns in time to get tackled in a hug by a strange mare. Mel calmly steps up to the ponies.

‘Wrong pony, dear.’

Arctic lets the young stallion free and helps him up.

‘No worries,’ Stormy says. ‘Not the first time a crazy white pegasus randomly hugged me today.’

‘Sorry. You just look a bit like a friend we haven’t seen in a long time.’

‘Um... Arctic...’

Mel points at the grave. Arctic looks and gasps.

‘So you knew my mom...’ Stormy mumbles.

Mel sits by the grave. ‘Ten years... So young. Not even thirty.’ She looks up at Stormy. ‘How old are you?’

‘Just turned fifteen a few months ago.’

‘You must miss her a lot.’

‘Constantly, but I have a pretty happy family now.’

‘You must have a good father.’

Stormy looks away. ‘I... I don’t know my real father. There is a nice mare who takes care of me. I am basically one of the family now. I also know a great stallion who is like a big brother. Great guy...’

‘Raspberry...’ Arctic sobs while staring at the grave.

Mel comforts her friend. ‘It is okay. We knew this would come someday.’ She looks up at Stormy. ‘I am sorry. We never asked your name. I am Mel, and she is Arctic.’

Stormy bows. ‘I am Strawberry, but my friends call me Stormy.’

The mares stare in shock at the young stallion.

‘Uh... Is something wrong?’

‘N-no,’ Mel stutters. ‘It is just... nothing.’

‘Not named after your father, are you?’ Arctic wonders.

‘Well, since I don’t know who my real father is...’ Stormy groans. ‘No. Actually no. I’m named after somepony else according to her notebooks.’

‘She did love her notebooks,’ Mel sighs.

‘Um... Can we catch up somewhere else?’ Arctic asks. ‘I’m feeling a little creeped out.’

Stormy starts trotting away. ‘Come on. I know some good places to hang out.’ He stops and goes back to the grave. ‘I’ll see you again, mom.’

The mares pay their respects and follow the young stallion back to the town.

After getting plates full of treats, the group of friends gather at a table. Surprise flies over with a tray of cakes. A few quiet moments later, Surprise looks up with a mouthful of cake.

‘So... Whose kid is married?’

The others look at the excited pegasus.

Twilight Velvet shakes her head. ‘You know Shining is married. To a princess. It was here. You performed for the reception.’

‘Yeah. So... Whose kid is married!’

‘You must be very proud of Fluttershy,’ Posey beams.

‘Are you kidding? I never expected her to end up with anypony. Ever!’ Surprise bounces in her seat. ‘You know how shy she is! She makes Posey look like a dragon tamer. It is just so wonderful knowing that she was brave enough to find a pony she likes.’

‘What is the lucky pony’s name?’ Amelia asks.

‘Something Wanderer. That is not important. What is important is that she is married!’

Fireworks shoot off behind Surprise.

Twilight Velvet thinks. ‘Is his first name James?’

‘Maybe. I guess. Sure. Why not?’

‘He was Twilight’s coltfriend! Your daughter stole my daughter’s coltfriend! She stole from a princess!’

Surprise turns her nose up. ‘You’re just jealous that Fluttershy beat her to the punch.’

The friends glare at each other. Posey squeaks and turns to Amelia.

‘What about your kids? How are they doing?’

The unicorn sighs. ‘My son is doing fine. He is getting a lot of work making music for games. He has even gotten some gigs with some small concerts.’

‘And Trixie?’

Amelia looks down. ‘I feel she is more of a lost cause than ever.’

Twilight’s mother puts a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. ‘The incident a few months back didn’t help, did it?’

‘I fear that may have made things worse. We have never seen eye-to-eye, and my idiot brother may have helped me destroy any chance of that happening.’

‘You just have to talk with Trixie. Get to know her better,’ Twilight Velvet suggests.

‘Yeah!’ Surprise agrees. ‘Even Fluttershy eventually opens up when you talk to her.’

‘I guess that could work...’

‘ ‘sides, you love talking so much,’ Fyrefly comments. ‘Talking should come natural to you.’

‘You just have to remember to give her understanding and respect,’ Twilight Velvet advises. ‘Even if, no, especially if she has made choices you don’t agree with.’

‘Speaking of your own kids there?’ Fyrefly teases.

The unicorn snorts. ‘She is going to outlive him by a thousand lifetimes. I just don’t want the princess or my future grandchildren to be upset.’ She nods and turns to Posey. ‘You haven’t told us about your children yet.’

The earth pony tenses then looks down. ‘Oh, um, well, they aren’t old enough for dating yet, but Oak got top marks in school and Dandelion is flying as well as her father now.’

‘It must be so confusing having foals from a different tribe,’ Amelia muses.

‘It is just Dandelion.’ Posey answers. ‘She is so much like her father.’

‘But even having a husband who is a different tribe must be unusual,’ Surprise says.

‘And what tribe is your son-in-law?’ Twilight Velvet grins.

‘He an ear...’ Surprise turns and growls at her giggling friend. ‘Oh, you think you’re so smart.’

‘We’ve known her for almost thirty years and finally one of us gets one on Surprise,’ Amelia giggles.

‘Course it was the smartest of us that gets her,’ Fyrefly adds.

Surprise snorts and turns away. She flicks her hoof at one of the cakes on her plate. It is sent flying into Twilight Velvet’s face. The pegasus laughs at her accident. The unicorn narrows her gaze then smirks. The other friends try to escape as Twilight Velvet sends the entire buffet flying at everypony.

Stormy is giving his guests a tour of Ponyville. The mares take in the city and ask questions based on what they have heard from their daughters. Stormy leads them towards the Nerd District. The mares enjoy the local flavor. Stormy stops in front of The Power Block.

‘I know this is an odd place to stop, but the owner is a good friend of mine,’ Stormy says.

‘We would be honored to meet any friend of yours,’ Mel replies.

Stormy smiles and leads the group inside. Mel and Arctic freeze once they see who the shopkeeper is.

‘Boss, I’ve been reading my history lately.’

‘Good for you.’

‘Ever notice the quick change in policy regarding immigration from the Zebra homeland around three hundred years ago?’

‘Last Tuesday.’ James smiles. ‘She yelled a lot.’

‘What?’

‘You’re fired.’

Stormy steps to the counter. ‘Hey, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Hey, Stormy.’

‘Strawberry!’ the mares exclaim.

James and Stormy turn. ‘Yes?’ They both snap to attention and look at each other. ‘Uh...’

James tries hopping the counter, but a silver band of magic catches his hind legs.

‘You’re fired! I mean it this time!’

‘Totally worth it,’ Lucas laughs.

‘Mr Strawberry, is that you?’ Mel asks.

‘You haven’t aged a day in over twenty years,’ Arctic comments.

‘Technically, it has been about a week...’

‘Mr Wanderer, what is going on?’

‘Hey! Let’s all go upstairs for some refreshments. My treat!’

James grins and edges towards the back. The others sigh and follow the odd stallion. Lucas laughs as he levitates his mobile.

‘Twilight is going to love this video.’

James pops back in, aims his sonic, and Lucas’ mobile bursts into flames.

‘Dude!’

‘Maybe your new job will get you a new one.’

Lucas groans and goes back to work. James trots upstairs. Stormy sits in the kitchen while the mares take in the apartment. Mel pulls on the TARDIS’s doors.

‘What is in here?’

‘It is a closet,’ James replies. ‘Does closety wosesty things.’

‘Doesn’t look like a closet. You’re hiding something.’

James taps Mel’s sleeve and a hidden blade shoots out. ‘Am I?’

The stallion sits at the table. The mares join the males. Mel tosses her letter to the table.

‘You sent these, didn’t you?’

James examines the envelope. ‘Spoilers.’

‘Can you teach us to not age too? That is so cool!’

‘Actually, I did just see you last week. … It is complicated.’

‘Why did you call him “Strawberry”?’ Stormy asks.

Mel and Arctic look at each other and nod.

‘It is a long story involving our last adventure with your mother.’

The five friends pick up their mess from the food fight. They are all covered in food. Four of the mares are giggling. Posey grumbles to herself as she picks up the wasted food.

‘Great. Just who do you think is going to clean this up tomorrow?’ the earth pony snorts.

‘Either your staff or the normal cleaning crew,’ Amelia replies.

‘Yeah, thought you were management?’ Fyrefly adds.

‘That is not the point. We should have been more responsible.’

‘It is not like they haven’t seen worse,’ Twilight Velvet laughs. She points to the ceiling. ‘I think I see the spot where the changelings hung Celestia at the wedding.’

‘Whose kid stampeded the royal menagerie through the Grand Galloping Gala?’ Surprise beams.

‘This isn’t a competition, Surprise.’

‘Yeah, not when I am winning.’

Amelia stops and thinks. ‘You know, Trixie once performed here. Charity event for a bunch of foals, from what I heard.’

Two hooffuls of food hit Amelia in the face. The leftovers start rising again. Posey trots past Amelia. She tweaks the unicorn’s horn, causing the food to drop.

James sees Stormy and his guests out of the shop. Mel and Arctic hug the stallion.

‘It was good seeing you again, Mr Wanderer,’ Arctic says.

‘Glad to see you kept your promise,’ Mel adds.

‘Was Kaeko your end of the deal?’ James asks.

Mel grimaces. ‘She is here?’

James points across the street. Kaeko stands outside of her shop. The pegasus and Mel glare and growl at each other.

‘Okay... Next time I take a trip, I am finding out what that is about.’ James muses.

‘I bet she has her doll in there...’ Mel growls.

‘Wait. Really? That petty?’

‘She also shaved her head.’

James facehoofs. ‘You ponies and your petty arguments.’

‘Mr Wanderer,’ -- Stormy shakes his head -- ‘No, just no.’ He looks at the others. ‘Come on. There is still more of the town to see, then I’ll escort you to the station. We can stop by the confectionery on the way, too.’

James laughs. ‘That will be fun.’

The group of ponies start trotting away.

‘Wait!’ James calls. ‘Arctic! You’ll make a great headmaster!’

Arctic waves. ‘How did he...’

Stormy smiles. ‘He has his ways.’

Posey waves farewell to Surprise and Fyrefly as they fly away from the palace. Twilight Velvet and Amelia exchange one last hug.

‘It has been far too long. We have to do this again soon,’ Amelia says.

‘Our doors are always open for you,’ Twilight Velvet replies.

The unicorns break their hug. Amelia trots through the palace. Twilight Velvet joins Posey as they trot through the palace garden.

‘Today was fun. Sorry about the mess.’

Posey sighs. ‘The evening cleaning crew will take care of it.’

‘You should not worry. My staff is quite efficient.’

The mares turn to see Luna smiling down at them.

‘Nightmare Moon!’

Posey faints. Luna and Twilight Velvet facehoof.

A group of three ponies exit Bon Bon’s Confectionery. They wave at Bon Bon and head towards the train station. Both mares have bags of candy as well as bags with Rarity’s logo. They joke as they trot along, but Mel stops. She darts into an alleyway. Seconds later, there is a crash from above a building and Mel drops to the street holding somepony.

‘I hate spies,’ the earth pony growls.

‘OH! I thought you said,”I hate spices”,’ Lyra replies. ‘I wondered why that never made sense.’

‘You look familiar...’ Arctic wonders.

‘Seriously, Lyra?’ Stormy groans.

‘Lyra? You mean...’

‘You’re the greatest foalsitters in the world coming to check up on me after all these years.’ Lyra grabs Mel in a hug.

‘You... remember us?’

‘I remember a lot of things, thanks to you.’

‘Thanks to me?’

‘The memory spell you reflected back at her,’ Arctic says.

‘Young minds are very malleable. She must have given herself perfect memory,’ Stormy adds.

‘And everypony wonders why you’re my top student,’ Lyra laughs.

Lyra lets Mel free, and the older mare helps the younger one up. Mel straightens her mane and fixes her hat.

‘We haven’t worked together in a while, Melodia,’ Lyra comments.

‘You’re... Heartstrings. I thought you retired.’

‘Oh, right. I work with the other Philharmonica and Fox now. We do a lot of good together.’

‘Indeed. Your trio is amazing,’ Arctic compliments.

‘In more ways than one,’ Lyra smirks.

A train whistle sounds.

‘That’s our ride,’ Mel sighs.

‘It was great seeing everypony here,’ Arctic beams.

The two mares hug Stormy.

‘Raspberry would be proud,’ Mel whispers.

‘You are as strong as she ever was,’ Arctic adds.

Stormy starts crying. ‘You don’t know how much that means to me.’

Mel and Arctic break the hug and gallop to catch their train. Stormy wipes away the tears and waves. Lyra joins in waving too. The two unicorns stop and trot back down the street.

‘This appears on Harpflank, I am cracking my horn again,’ Stormy warns.

Lyra grins and magically ignites a stack of notes. ‘I have no idea what you are talking about.’

The unicorns break as Lyra heads towards her wife’s shop.

‘By the way, they were lying. You are a lot stronger.’

Stormy sighs then laughs at his teacher before trotting back home.

Author's Note

Physicist's Wife Arc - Part 3

Fillies and Colts

Main Characters: Scootaloo, Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara
Cameos: TWP, Fluttershy, Rei, Scootaloo’s parents, Rumble, Applejack, Apple Bloom, Twilight, Spike, Rainbow Dash
Original Write Date: June 9, 2012

WARNING: There is a lot of foul and demeaning language used early in the story for character development purposes. I apologize in advance for offending my readers. I doubt it is any consolation, but I have been called the names used in this story so I know how much they hurt.

Scootaloo slouches at her desk as she clicks around on her computer. ‘No new Harpflank. Lame.’ She clicks a link. ‘Gah! What is with all that rule sixty-three crap in my rule thirty-four? Who wants two guys? ... Or one? ... Blah.’

Scootaloo leans back in her chair. It has been over a month since her bet with Diamond Tiara and neither of them have yet to collect. The conditions were made even more difficult since they agreed that asking their friends would not count. Scootaloo snorts. Having a day with just Apple Bloom would be great. That Mr Wanderer got to do it. Lucky son of a bi...

A knock on the door breaks Scootaloo’s trance. She looks over to see a periwinkle mare with a sky blue mane standing just outside. The filly groans and goes back to her computer while her mother trots over.

‘It-it is time for bed, Scoots.’

‘But I’m not tired.’

‘Did you at least do your homework?’

‘Most of it. I guess.’

Scootaloo’s mom looks at the computer screen. ‘You know I don’t like you going on that site. It has stories that young fillies like you shouldn’t see.’

‘Ugh! It is my computer. I should be able to do what I want.’

‘Yes, but...’

Scootaloo keeps browsing. She has an angry scowl.

Scootaloo’s mom sighs. ‘I’m sorry for upsetting you.’

The filly snorts. ‘It is not you. It’s... Never mind.’

‘You know you can tell me anything, Scoots.’

Scootaloo looks back at her mom. She gets a friendly smile, but she turns back to her computer. Scootaloo’s mom sighs and gives her daughter a kiss on the head.

‘It must be hard being a filly these days, but please come to me with anything.’

The young pegasus grumbles in reply.

‘Just don’t stay up too long. You want to look your best for your fillyfriend, right?’

Scootaloo blushes and turns. ‘What?’

Her mom smiles and winks. ‘Don’t worry. I won’t tell your father.’

The door to the room is closed. The filly groans and starts clicking again. She stops, hits her head against her desk, and inhales deeply.

‘BU....’

The next morning. Scootaloo rides her scooter through town at breakneck speeds as usual. She barely misses hitting several ponies as she makes her way to school. As she gets closer, she flaps her wings harder to gain speed. She kicks off the ground and jumps from her scooter at the same time. The filly flies over the slide while her scooter takes the long way up. They meet at the top and land with a skidding stop. The students who witnessed the stunt cheer as she whips her short mane around as it is freed from her helmet.

A gaunt, cream-colored pegasus flitters up to the filly. ‘Awesome stunt, Scootaloo!’

‘What? Oh. Thanks, Featherweight. Did ya get it on film?’

The pegasus holds up his camera. ‘As much as I could. Say, uh, would you..?’

The schoolhouse bell chimes. All of the foals in the yard rush to get to their seats before they are marked tardy. Featherweight moans at the lost opportunity. In the schoolhouse, the foals chat as they wait for Cheerilee to begin her lecture. Unfortunately, Cheerilee is not present. Diamond Tiara takes advantage of situation by turning around and sticking her tongue out at Scootaloo. The pegasus snorts and turns away. She faces Rumble who is chatting with Silver Spoon. The other filly giggles and turns back to the front of the class. Scootaloo covers her head with her hooves and groans. The door to the class opens and the students perk up when they see who enters. James sets a saddlebag on the desk and turns to the class.

‘Sorry, I’m late. I just got the call.’ He pauses. ‘I mean! I was just summoned! By the spheres!’ He stands on his hind legs and waves his forelegs in front of him. ‘OOOOIIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUU!’

The students laugh at their guest teacher.

‘Anyway! Long story short, Cheerilee has a cold and asked me to fill in for her. So...’ He kicks the wall and words and equations appear on the board. ‘Physics!’

The students groan and headdesk.

Midday. The students are playing hoofball. The odd number of students means Diamond Tiara gets excluded again. James has her on the sidelines as assistant referee. On the field, Scootaloo is playing very aggressively. She plows past the opposing midfielders, accidentally tripping Sweetie Belle as she passes. She kicks the ball up and headers it forward, planning on intercepting it herself. She flaps her wings to get a bit of lift, but a defender tries blocking her. The filly trips over Truffle Shuffle, and the foals tumble across the field. The pegasus is the first to her hooves.

‘Watch it, fat ass!’

A whistle is blown. James gallops onto the field with a red card drawn. Scootaloo growls and turns away.

‘Scootaloo, that was uncalled for. Go to the schoolhouse. I’ll have to call your parents.’

The filly kicks the ground as she stomps off the field. James returns to the sidelines and blows the whistle to resume play. Diamond Tiara looks back at Scoolaloo. James puts a hoof on the filly’s shoulder.

‘No. She has a lot of things on her mind right now. She might take a swing at you.’

The filly sighs and watches the game.

James stands next to Scootaloo at the end of the school day. The filly is staring at the ground. The adult has his eyes closed and is mumbling to himself.

‘Please be her mom. Please be her mom.’

The door opens and a dark orange pegasus enters. Both waiting ponies groan.

‘Kid, come on. We’re going.’

Scootaloo sighs and trots beside her father.

‘Whoa, whoa, whoa!’ James interrupts. ‘She is in trouble for insulting another student. We don’t want her turning into a bully, do we?’

‘Which kid was it?’

‘It was Truffle Shuffle. She made fun of his weight and used some foul language.’

‘You mean the fat kid? Good for her. Maybe it will get him to lose a few kilos.’

‘Sir, that is the kind of encouragement we don’t want to give her.’

‘Shut up. You’re not her parent. If you had any parenting skills, you would know to stay out of other parents’ business.’

James groans. ‘Sir. I just want what is best for Scootaloo.’

‘Fine. You want her to stop swearing?’ Scootaloo’s dad hits the filly in the back of the head, knocking her to the ground. ‘Stop swearing!’ He turns to James. ‘Happy?’

The Furious Physicist growls, ‘You don’t hit foals.’

‘Give it a rest. You fail at parenting. Your kid is retarded. Just because you have a beard now doesn’t make you a real father.’

‘Rei is a good girl! We give her plenty of love and attention. Scootaloo is a great kid, too. You just have give her more caring.’

‘Whatever, faggot.’

CRACK! James stands over Scootaloo’s dad. The pegasus has a hoofprint on his face. He twitches as he lays on the ground. Scootaloo stares in shock at The Seething Physicist. The stallion takes a few deep breaths to control his anger.

‘How has nopony done that before?’ James turns to the filly. ‘I am sorry you had to see that, but what an asshole!’

The stunned filly nods and picks up her jaw. The conscious stallion lifts the unconscious one onto his back.

‘Okay. You get to The Power Block. If Fluttershy or Rei are there, tell her that we are going to have some guests and to run program 27G. They’ll know what that means. I’ll be there later... hopefully.’

‘What are you going to do?’

‘Well, I just assaulted another pony. I’m going to turn myself in. That is the proper thing to do. I am also going to tell your mom to leave your home, too. It is just not safe there.’

‘That is an understatement.’

‘Let’s get going. This is going to be a busy afternoon.’

Diamond Tiara moans and rolls around on her bed. She is bored. She looks over at Silver Spoon, who is busy doing their weekend homework. The bored filly moans again to get her friend’s attention. Silver Spoon looks up from her books to see her friend frowning down at her.

‘I’m bored,’ the pink filly whines. ‘Why are you doing that now? We have the whole weekend to do it.’

‘I want to get it out of the way so I have more free time,’ the grey filly huffs.

‘Fine. Just hurry and finish so I can copy it.’

‘You really should do your own work. Then you won’t have to cram before all of the tests.’

‘I pass, don’t I? Besides, we do what we are best at and for me, that is telling other ponies what to do.’

‘That is not what frie... Never mind.’

Silver Spoon sighs and goes back to work. Diamond Tiara moans again and starts rolling on her bed.

‘This sucks! Want to go to a movie?’

‘Not right now, I have to be home by sundown.’

‘Fine. How about tomorrow?’

‘Um... Actually, I have plans for tomorrow.’

‘Ugh! Not one of your daddy-daughter days. Those are so boring!’

‘Actually... It is a date...’

‘WHAT?!’ Even she is getting a date before me!

‘I am, uh, sorta seeing a movie with Rumble.’

Diamond Tiara rolls away from her friend. ‘Whatever, four eyes.’

Silver Spoon gasps. She starts packing her bag. The other filly looks over.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m leaving,’ Silver Spoon snorts as she packs her last book. ‘I can’t believe you’d break your promise.’

‘What are you talking about?’

The upset filly stops at the door. ‘You said you would never call me that again. You promised that when we became friends.’

‘Oh, come on. What is the big deal?’

‘You know I am sensitive about my glasses! Don’t you ever think about how you are hurting everypony? Haven’t you realized that I am, or was, your only friend? That is why you are going to lose your stupid bet!’

Diamond Tiara gapes. ‘How dare you! You’re just a stupid nerd! Nopony else would even talk to you if it weren’t for me! You would be a complete loser if you didn’t have me to leach off of!’

‘If I am the loser, how come I am the one with the date tomorrow?’

‘Get out of my house!’

Silver Spoon almost shouts back, but she turns and trots away, slamming the door behind her. Diamond Tiara buries a head in her pillow and screams.

Fluttershy paces around the kitchen as she waits for James to return. Rei plays video games with Scootaloo in the living room. Clopping is heard on the stairs, and Fluttershy gallops to see who is coming. James climbs up the stairs with a couple boxes on his back. Behind him, Scootaloo’s mother nervously follows.

‘Daddy’s home!’ Rei cheers.

‘Hey, Rei.’ James sets down the boxes. He turns to Fluttershy and gives her a kiss. ‘Hey, hon. Looks like we might have some guests for a bit.’

‘That is fine,’ Fluttershy sighs. ‘What happened? Scootaloo was a little vague on the details.’

‘Mr Wanderer kicked my dad’s ass! That’s what happened.’

James points at the filly. ‘Language!’

Scootaloo shrinks away. ‘Sorry.’

The stallion huffs and turns to his wife. ‘I got into a fight with Scootaloo’s father after class today. I ended up knocking him unconscious. He is in the hospital now. When I tried turning myself in, the authorities said they would write it off as justified assault.’ He snorts. ‘Total bull... Anyway, the authorities agreed that it might be a good idea to get the family away from the abuser, so we grabbed a few things and here we are.’

Fluttershy looks at the guests. ‘Okay... What is in the boxes?’

‘Grabbed the kid’s computer just in case. You never know what anyone can do to or with your personal information if they are left unguarded.’

‘Sweet! I can check if there is new Harpflank later!’ Scootaloo beams.

‘And I can give you a copy of that game I was telling you about,’ Rei adds.

The two pegasi fillies high hoof.

James turns to Scootaloo’s mom. ‘Are you really okay with a filly as young as Scootaloo playing those sorts of games?’

‘It-it is okay... It is her computer...’

James whispers the types of games Rei enjoys playing. Scootaloo’s mom gasps.

‘You left out my joso collection,’ Rei comments.

‘Scoots! I don’t want you...’

Scootaloo looks over at her mother with an upset frown on her face.

The older pegasus backs down. ‘Never mind... Do what you want. You’re a big girl now.’

Scootaloo groans and hops off the couch. She goes to a new room at the end of the home. ‘Come on, Rei. Let’s set up my computer while we wait for dinner.’

Rei swoops off the couch, lifts the box and follows the younger filly. James and Fluttershy turn to Scootaloo’s mom.

‘Why did you back down?’ Fluttershy asks.

‘She is just so...’

‘Want me to use The Stare on her?’

Scootaloo’s mom gasps. ‘No! Ju-ju-just let her be. She’ll be fine.’

James sighs and trots past the mares. ‘You two relax. I’ll get something started for us.’ He turns to Scootaloo’s mom. ‘Would you like anything to drink?’

‘A cup of coffee would be nice.’

James nods and gets to work in the kitchen.

The Waking Physicist yawns as he trots out of his room in the late morning. The smell of Fluttershy’s wonderful cooking is too enticing to stay in bed. He rounds the corner between kitchen and living room to see everypony gathered at the table. The Surprised Physicist jumps back.

‘Ack! Skybound sent his all-mare, ninja, supermodel pegasus assassin squad for revenge!’

Fluttershy glares at her husband. The two fillies giggle. Scootaloo’s mother gives her host a confused look. The Embarrassed Physicist sits at the table.

‘Sorry,’ he apologizes. ‘Just not used to seeing all of you here.’

Fluttershy sighs. ‘That will do, dear.’

The pegasus sets a plate of food in front of her husband and goes back to her seat.

‘Mmm. Fluttershy makes the best waffles,’ James drools.

‘And tofu bacon!’ Rei cheers.

‘Yeah!’ Scootaloo agrees.

The two fillies high hoof. Scootaloo’s mom giggles at her daughter.

‘So, did you have a nice night?’ James asks. ‘Hope you didn’t mind sharing a bed.’

Scootaloo’s mom giggles. ‘It was fine. We haven’t done that since she was little. Or littler.’

‘Mo~~~m!’

‘Don’t worry. One day, you’ll be as big as me!’ Rei comforts.

‘What? You mean when I’m like twelve?’

Rei growls and pinches Scootaloo’s cheeks. The younger filly screams.

‘Mommy! Help!’

Fluttershy giggles. ‘Sorry, Rei, but no. Let her go.’

Rei growls and frees the screaming filly.

‘Any big plans for today?’ James asks. ‘Big dates?’

Scootaloo looks down and scowls.

‘Is something wrong, Scoots?’

‘Nothing...’

‘You know, there was nothing in your bet about age or gender of your date,’ James mentions, ‘and Rei doesn’t have any plans for the day...’

Scootaloo perks up. ‘What?’

‘Come on!’ Rei cheers. ‘Will you go out with me? It will be fun!’

‘Sure! Let’s go!’

‘Rei, remember, no Inkie,’ her father warns.

‘Duh.’

‘No Stormy either.’

‘You’re no fun!’

Rei sticks her tongue at her dad as she and Scootaloo gallop down the stairs. Scootaloo’s mother stares in shock about what just happened.

‘What was that? How did you know something about my daughter that I didn’t?’

Fluttershy giggles, ‘James has his ways.’

Scootaloo’s mom sighs. ‘I tried everything to get her to open up. Then I end up in a stranger’s home, and he knows my daughter better than I do.’

‘Scootaloo is not so different from Rei. You just need to be firm with her. Put your hoof down.’

‘Just not too hard,’ Fluttershy adds.

‘I...’ Scootaloo’s mom looks away, ‘I can’t. Her father.... The way he treats us. If we show any assertiveness... I’ve had to explain a lot of black eyes and bruises to Cheerilee to say the least...’

James and Fluttershy both reach a hoof to the scared mare.

‘You’re safe here,’ James assures. ‘Nopony can get to you if we don’t let them.’

‘Thank you...’ Scootaloo’s mom squeaks.

‘Unless they have an evil, magic troll that feeds on negative emotions.’

‘James!’ Fluttershy snaps.

‘What? Just being honest.’

The yellow pegasus shakes her head. She turns to the other mare. ‘You know what will clear your mind? A nice trip to the spa. My treat. We’ll call all our friends and have a girl’s day out.’

‘That would be fun...’ the other pegasus agrees.

The pegasi smile and begin planning their day together. James ignores them and goes back to his late breakfast.

Silver Spoon happily trots towards the town movie theater. She has been looking forward to her date with Rumble all week. Well, after he finally got the clue and asked her. The happy filly gets to the theater and looks for her date. She worries that he might be thick enough to go ahead without her, but her worries are soon replaced by new ones when she spots Rumble talking with Diamond Tiara. Silver Spoon growls and approaches the other foals.

Diamond Tiara notices the approaching filly and smirks. ‘Oh, look who finally showed up.’

Rumble turns. ‘Hey, Silver Spoon! Diamond Tiara offered to treat us. Isn’t that great?’

‘Yes. Great,’ Silver Spoon snorts.

‘Don’t be that way,’ the pink filly teases. ‘You know I love taking care of my friends.’

‘That would be a first,’ the bespectacled filly grumbles.

‘What was that?’ Rumble asks.

‘Hey! How about I get us all snacks?’ Diamond Tiara offers. ‘I have plenty of money to treat everypony. Come on! Get anything you want!’

Diamond Tiara prances away, brushing against Rumble as she goes.

‘Wait up!’ Rumble calls as he follows the filly.

Silver Spoon growls and stomps after the others.
…

The three foals come out of the theater. Diamond Tiara leads the group with a smug look on her face. The two grey ponies follow behind. Rumble is excited, but Silver Spoon looks upset. The lead filly looks back and laughs.

Through the whole date, Diamond Tiara did everything she could to mess with Silver Spoon. She bought Rumble all the snacks the colt could eat, leaving the silver filly on her own. She forced herself between the dating couple and held the colt’s hoof during the film. She even bumped the other filly out of the way when they were leaving the theater.

‘I had a blast!’ Rumble says. ‘Thanks for the great time.’

‘It was no problem,’ Diamond Tiara coos.

The colt stops and turns to Silver Spoon. ‘I had a great time with you. We have to hang out more often.’

‘Yes, we should.’

‘I, uh, am really glad that Mr Wanderer introduced us.’

The colt quickly leans in and gives Silver Spoon a peck on the cheek. The filly tenses and blushes. Diamond Tiara looks over and scowls.

‘Well, um... I’ll see you at school. Thanks for the movie, Diamond Tiara. Bye, Silver Spoon.’

Rumble flies off, looking back. Silver Spoon smiles and waves, distracting the young colt, causing him to almost crash into another pegasus. Diamond Tiara trots over and snorts. Silver Spoon looks over and frowns.

‘Thanks for ruining my date,’ the grey filly snorts.

‘Please. I saved it. I paid for it. I kept him entertained. I got to hold his hoof.’

Silver Spoon smirks. ‘I got the kiss.’

Diamond Tiara turns her nose up. ‘I’ve been kissed plenty of times. Real kisses, too.’

‘Ha. So I am not a hussy like you or whoever you kissed.’

The pink filly pushes the grey one to the ground. ‘Scootaloo is not a hussy! She could show you what a real kiss is like!’

Silver Spoon dusts herself off. ‘Sorry. I am into colts.’ She bumps past her former friend. ‘Besides, Scootaloo is too good for you.’

‘You take that back!’

‘Also, I saw her with Mr Wanderer’s daughter earlier. Looks like she traded you in for the better model.’

‘That is a lie!’ She looks away. ‘It is not like I like her or anything...’ She snaps up. ‘At least I don’t have to have somepony arrange my dates for me! I am perfectly able to find my own!’

‘You tried stealing my date!’

‘Right. I found one and took it! He was too good for you anyway! You should be with, uh... Pound Cake! He is at least on your level!’

‘Which still makes him a dozen levels above you!’

Diamond Tiara roars and tackles Silver Spoon. The two fillies roll on the ground, trying to hit each other, until they hit a potted plant. Large dirt clumps in the mane knock the fillies out of their brawl. They growl at each other for a moment before turning around and trotting away.
…

Silver Spoon stares at the ground and grumbles to herself as she trots through town. She does not know where she is going. She just wants to get as far away from Diamond Tiara as possible. She wanders into the market district and quickly bumps into somepony.

‘Sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going,’ the upset filly mumbles.

‘Well, uh, be more careful next time,’ the pony replies.

Silver Spoon looks up. Apple Bloom is standing before her. The two fillies stare at each other before Silver Spoon starts backing away.

‘Not gonna stand up t’ me without yer friend?’ Apple Bloom asks.

‘She is not my friend. Not anymore,’ Silver Spoon growls.

The yellow filly is surprised. ‘What? Why not?’

‘She broke a promise and tried ruining... Nothing. Never mind.’

‘What she do t’ break the promise? Nothin’ mean, Ah hope.’

‘She made fun of my glasses. She used to do that all the time, but I made her promise to stop.’

‘That ain’t nice! Y’all have great glasses. Shoot. If Ah ever had glasses, Ah’d hope they’re as nice as yers.’

Silver Spoon looks away and blushes. ‘Thanks. Nopony has ever said that before.’

‘Apple Bloom, what’s goin’ on back there? We have t’ be closin’ shop soon,’ Applejack calls as she rounds their cart.

‘Sorry, sis. Ah was just talkin’ t’ Silver Spoon.’

‘Okay. That’s all right. Spend as much time as ya need with yer friend.’

‘Thank you, Miss Applejack, but I was just leaving.’

Silver Spoon is about to step away when Applejack stops her.

‘Are ya okay? Looks y’all have been cryin’.’

‘It’s nothing. Really.’

‘That mean Diamond Tiara was teasin’ her, too!’ Apple Bloom blurts out.

‘The one that is always messin’ with ya?’ Apple Bloom nods in reply. ‘Shoot. That ain’t nice.’

‘It is okay. We’re not friends anymore. Nopony would want to be friends with her.’

‘That’s fer sure.’

‘Apple Bloom! Silver Spoon! That ain’t a nice thing t’ say ‘bout anypony.’

‘Sorry, Applejack,’ Apple Bloom apologizes.

‘I am sorry as well.’ Silver Spoon bows. ‘Well, um, I’ll see you at school. I guess.’

Silver Spoon turns and trots away. Apple Bloom pulls her sister down and whispers to her.

‘Ah guess it is okay if it’s okay with her parents,’ the older pony replies.

Apple Bloom gallops up to Silver Spoon. ‘Wait a sec.’

‘What now?’

‘Ah was jus’ wonderin’... Ah mean if it is okay with yer folks...’

Silver Spoon sighs.

‘Would ya like t’ come over fer the night? Ah mean, Ah don’ know what sorta stuff ya like doin’ but ya need a friend right now.’

Silver Spoon smiles and tears up a bit. ‘Thanks. I would love to come over.’ I guess I now know why she has so many friends.

‘Great! Come on! We’re gonna have loads o’ fun t’night!’

Apple Bloom gallops back to tell her sister the good news. Silver Spoon collects herself and joins her new friend.
…

Across town, Diamond Tiara is fuming to herself. She seems oblivious to everypony around her.

‘Stupid four eyes. What does she know?’ -- Mockingly -- ‘Ooh, I’m so smart and everypony likes me because I am a big stupid nerd. Just a big, stupid, four-eyed nerd with no friends.’ She stops and kicks at the ground. ‘No friends... I have no friends...’

The filly stops trotting and starts crying.

‘Are you okay?’ a kind voice asks.

Diamond Tiara looks up to see the concerned face of Twilight Sparkle. The princess smiles at the crying filly.

‘Of-of course I am okay! What makes you think anything is wrong?’

‘Well, you are crying in the middle of the street. Is something wrong?’

‘Ugh! Why do you keep asking that? It is not like I broke up with my only friend or anything.’

‘I am so sorry to hear about it. Losing a friend is hard. Do you want to talk about it?’

‘I’m fine! I’m fine! I’m... miserable!’

The filly sobs loudly. Twilight leans down and comforts the filly.

‘It will be okay. Let’s go back to the library, and we can call your dad and talk about.’

‘Please don’t tell my dad...’ Diamond Tiara mumbles.

‘Okay. Whatever you want.’ Twilight stands and escorts the crying filly to the library.

Rei and Scootaloo gallop up the stairs to Rei’s home. They charge straight to the living room to continue their fun. As soon they sit on the couch, a whistle draws their attention.

‘Scootaloo, can you come in here?’

The fillies get up and trot to the kitchen. The adults are seated around the table. Scootaloo’s mother looks very upset.

‘What up, Mr Wanderer?’

‘We have some upsetting news... Your father has regained consciousness.’

Scootaloo scowls. ‘Can you hit him again? Maybe keep him out this time?’

James shakes his head. ‘The doctors are still keeping an eye on him, but he should be released tomorrow. It will probably be a matter of time before he comes looking for both of you.’

Scootaloo snorts and looks away.

‘The authorities could detain him, but they would need one of you to provide evidence of his abuse.’

‘I couldn’t do that!’ Scootaloo’s mother gasps. ‘He-he is m-my husband. He provides for us and takes care of us. I-I-I can’t go against him.’

‘I’ll do it!’ Scootaloo shouts.

‘Scoots! You can’t.... He’s your...’

‘Mom! If we go back to him, he is just going to beat us again for trying to leave. We have to stand up to him and get rid of him for good!’

‘But he takes care...’

‘He does not! You do everything! It is your job with the weather patrol that pays the bills. You do all the cooking and cleaning. You are the only trying to raise me. As long as we have Mr Wanderer and Fluttershy helping us, they can keep us safe from him until he is locked up.’

Fluttershy comforts Scootaloo’s mother. ‘Even if he comes looking here, we can stay at my cottage to get away from him. I know Rainbow Dash and the rest of your friends in the weather patrol will help you, too.’

‘I don’t know...’

‘Damn it, mom! You are letting him get to you! Grow a backbone for once in your life!’

Scootaloo storms away. James nods to Rei. She gets the clue, and both fillies go to Rei’s room. Scootaloo’s mother covers her face as she cries.

‘I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to hurt Scoots anymore, but I can’t go against him. He has a power over me.’

‘He only has the power you give him,’ Fluttershy states. ‘If you stand up to him, you take away that power and regain it for yourself. If somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!’

‘You have plenty of friends who are willing to help you, too. Friends with polonium.’

‘James, no polonium.’

‘Just saying!’

‘I think she’s right,’ Scootaloo’s mother sighs.

‘See.’ Fluttershy sticks her tongue at her husband.

‘I meant Scootaloo. She is right. I can’t stand up to him. I might as well quit now.’

James sighs. ‘Fluttershy, how relieving is it to stand up to somepony who has been bullying you for a long time?’

‘It is like a burden has been lifted from your chest. It is still very scary because they have done such mean things to you for so long, but you finally get a piece of yourself back. A piece that can never be taken away again.’

‘Will you help me?’ Scootaloo’s mother whispers.

‘We already have,’ Fluttershy replies, ‘but you have to do the rest yourself. You have to find a reason to fight until the bitter end.’

‘I have a reason: fear. I am more scared of losing Scootaloo than of that bully. I... I can try to save her. I have to save her. She is the most important pony in my world.’

Fluttershy smiles. ‘That is good to hear. You have to tell her that.’

‘Especially since she is ranting to Rei and not eavesdropping around the corner,’ James adds.

Scootaloo’s mother sighs and gets up. ‘I’ll go talk to her now. I don’t want to have a bad air over the rest of the night.’

Fluttershy gasps. ‘Oh my pizza! We totally forgot about dinner.’

James trots to his TARDIS. ‘I’ll pick something up. Garden burgers okay?’

‘Yes!’ Rei and Fluttershy shout as they blow past Scootaloo and her mother to grab the stallion.

‘Thank you, Spike,’ Twilight beams at her assistant.

‘My pleasure, ladies,’ the dragon replies.

Spike serves Twilight and Diamond Tiara cups of hot chocolate.

Twilight nudges the filly. ‘Go on.’

‘Uh, thanks or whatever.’

‘Got your work cut out on this one, Twilight,’ Spike comments.

‘Thanks, Spike,’ Twilight groans.

The dragon laughs to himself as he leaves. Diamond Tiara snorts.

Twilight magically ties her mane up in a bun and levitates a notepad. ‘Now, how can I help you with your friendship problem?’

‘I don’t have any problems with friends.’ Diamond Tiara turns her nose up. She notices Twilight glaring at her. ‘Th-they have a problem with me.’

‘Well, if they have a problem with you, then you must have given them a reason to have a problem with you.’

The filly looks away. ‘I might have teased her...’

‘Uh huh. And if I remember your last class trip to the library, you seemed to tease a lot of ponies.’

‘But they are just so weird and stupid.’

‘Are they? Or are you scared of what they might think about you?’

‘They like me! They come to my parties all the time! Everypony likes my parties...’

‘Do they come for you or for the party? My friend Pinkie Pie throws parties all the time, but I go because of her, not because of the party.’

‘Did Silver Spoon come just for the parties?’ Diamond Tiara mumbles.

Twilight frowns. ‘Is there any pony you are friendly towards?’

‘What does it matter? Nopony likes me! Silver Spoon was right...’

‘Scootaloo seemed very worried about you after that field trip when you got hurt.’

‘She’s... No. She doesn’t even like me. She hasn’t been returning my calls all day.’

Twilight takes a deep breath. ‘She has been going through a tough time as well. She is just busy. That is all.’

Diamond Tiara sighs. ‘That still doesn’t mean I have any friends...’

‘You have me.’

‘You don’t count.’

‘Why not?’

‘Well, you’re old. You can’t be friends with a foal.’

‘I am friends with Scootaloo and her friends. They are your age. I am friends with Celestia. That is a big age difference.’

‘Well, uh...’

‘Are you thinking of reasons why I can’t be your friend or reasons why you can’t be mine? If you don’t want to be my friend, you can tell me.’

Diamond Tiara stares at her hot chocolate. She takes a sip. ‘It’s cold...’ She takes another sip then whispers, ‘Will you be my friend?’

Twilight reaches to the filly. ‘Only if you will be mine.’

‘I don’t know if I can. I don’t know how.’

Twilight smiles. ‘Well! It just so happen that I know a thing or two about friendship.’

Twilight starts levitating a large scroll from a shelf when Spike bursts into the room.

‘Wait!’ the dragon cries. He turns to the surprised filly. ‘Trust me. You don’t want to sit through all of that.’

‘Spike! What have I told you about spying on me?’

‘I thought you meant when you are cl...’

Spike is cut off when the large scroll is shoved in his mouth. Twilight is blushing red from embarrassment and anger. Diamond Tiara giggles.

A loud scream fills the Apple Family house. Applejack gallops to the source and bucks the door to Apple Bloom’s door open.

‘What happened? Is everypony safe?’ the excited mare asks.

She scans the room. The scan is made easier when she turns on the lights. Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon are sitting on the floor with a torch sitting between them. Big Macintosh trots up behind his sister.

‘Sheesh, Applejack. We were jus’ tellin’ scary stories,’ Apple Bloom groans.

‘That’s fine and all, but which one of ya made that dreadful sound?’

The fillies look at each other, and Silver Spoon starts giggling. Apple Bloom’s cheeks match her mane.

‘Apple Bloom? Thought ya were 'fraid o’ nothin’.’

‘Ah am! It is jus’...’

‘I learned a lot of good ghost stories from my father,’ Silver Spoon explains. ‘He likes to tell them when we go camping.’

‘Well, jus’ keep the volume down and don’ stay up too late.’

The fillies giggle. Applejack sighs and closes the door. She laughs to herself.

‘Good t’ see AB make a new friend.’

‘Eeyup.’

Another loud scream fills the house.

‘Jus’ wish they came with a volume control.’

‘Eeyup.’

Scootaloo’s mother comes out of her guest room wearing a plain yellow dress. She trots through the residence towards the stairs. Fluttershy is in the kitchen making a large breakfast for her daughter. She catches her guest trotting past.

‘Where are you going?’

‘Oh, uh... The family usually goes to church on Sundays. I guess it is habit.’

‘Are you sure that is a good idea? If you used to go with your husband, it might not be safe if he is looking for you.’

Scootaloo’s mother looks down. ‘I guess you’re right, but what else am I supposed to do?’

‘Tofu bacon!’

A white and blue streak shoots to the kitchen.

‘I just put it in, Rei. You’ll have to wait.’

The filly groans and glares at the oven. Fluttershy giggles. She turns back to the other mare and motions her to join them.

‘Do you always have large meals like this?’ Scootaloo’s mom asks.

Fluttershy giggles again. ‘Rei has a very healthy appetite. I am used to making large meals for my animals, so cooking for another pony is pretty easy. Plus, it makes her happy, so I am happy.’

‘At least she isn’t a picky eater like Scoots.’

‘Do you ever ask what she likes?’

Scootaloo’s mother glares at Fluttershy. ‘Really? You’ve seen the way she acts towards me.’

‘Tori-tan likes cherry-flavored things!’ Rei chimes in. Scootaloo’s mother groans. ‘I just found that out yesterday. I’m not a cheater like daddy is.’

The light blue mare sighs and sits at the table. ‘Well, at least we will have time to get to know each other if we hole up to hide from her father today.’

‘Don’t worry. James is great company.’

‘You’re not going to be around?’

‘Maybe a bit, but I have to make up for missing my animals yesterday.’

‘RSI needs adventuring!’ Rei adds. She pauses. ‘Also, Rei-chan needs tofu bacon!’

‘You have to wait for it to cook, dear.’

Rei frowns and returns to staring at the oven. Scootaloo’s mother looks for a clock and ends up staring at a series of lights on the wall.

‘It says eight-forty-five,’ Fluttershy says. ‘It took me a couple visits before I figured it was in bin... Oh no! I am late!’

‘AHA! I knew that you two were doing it!’ Rei accuses.

Fluttershy groans. ‘No! I mean I am late for feeding my animals. One of you take the bacon out in five minutes. There is waffle batter in the fridge. Tell James I love him.’

Fluttershy gallops out of the house. After a long silence, Rei turns and looks at Scootaloo’s mother. The other pegasus looks back.

‘You do know they are not really gods, right?’ Rei blurts out.

‘I know. I just like the sense of community.’

‘You know they would burn me and Tori-tan for liking the ponies we like, right?’

Scootaloo’s mother looks down. ‘I am well aware of that.’

‘Have you ever kissed another mare? I’ve only done it a few times. It doesn’t seem that much different than kissing a stallion, but I have only kissed a few of them, too, and Stormy-kun doesn’t let me kiss him any more.’

Scootaloo’s mother sighs and goes to the oven, hoping food will shut the filly up.

‘It has only been two minutes.’ Rei nods to the clock.

‘How the hell do you read that thing?’

Twilight trots with Diamond Tiara towards the filly’s home. The older pony has a happy smile, but the younger one looks down.

‘I was not expecting a sleepover, but you were a fun guest.’

‘Um. Thank you. I guess.’

‘Don’t be so down. You made a new friend, and we had a great time.’

‘We did...’

‘Is something wrong?’

‘... Miss Twilight, can we make a stop before I go home?’
…

Apple Bloom escorts Silver Spoon back to her house. The two fillies are in good spirits.

‘Thank you for having me over, Apple Bloom. I don’t get to do that too often.’

‘Diamond Tiara never had ya over?’

Silver Spoon shakes her head. ‘No, nor have I ever had her to my home.’

‘So ya never stayed at another pony’s house before?’

‘Not necessarily... See, my parents aren’t together. I get to see my dad occasionally, and we do things together. It is our special daddy-daughter time together.’

‘Aww! That is so sweet.’

Silver Spoon smiles and blushes. The fillies stop at a house.

‘It was great hangin’ out with ya. Ah... never thought we’d get along, but Ah had a lot o’ fun.’

‘Yes, it was nice making a new friend.’

Silver Spoon leans in and gives Apple Bloom a friendly hug. There is a loud gasp. The fillies look in the direction of the noise to see Twilight and Diamond Tiara coming down the street. The pink filly is gaping. Silver Spoon breaks the hug and turns away from her former friend. Diamond Tiara slowly steps forward. Apple Bloom stands by her new friend and glares at her rival.

‘What do ya want?’ Apple Bloom snorts.

‘I just want to talk to Silver Spoon,’ Diamond Tiara mumbles.

‘Ya ain’t gonna tease her again, are ya,?’

‘I think she really just wants to talk, Apple Bloom,’ Twilight replies.

‘Fine, but if ya are mean t’ her one bit...’

The yellow filly backs away. Diamond Tiara steps over to her former friend.

‘I am really sorry,’ Diamond Tiara apologizes. ‘Can we be friends again?’

‘No thank you. I highly doubt you know what friendship truly means.’

‘I know I haven’t been a good friend before, but I can change! I really want to be your friend again. Please!’

Silver Spoon turns her nose up and snorts. Diamond Tiara winces and looks towards Apple Bloom.

‘I apologize to you, too. I shouldn’t have made fun of you for your lack of cutie mark. I... I am jealous of all of the friends you have. I wish I could be as kind as you.’

Apple Bloom is surprised. She looks at Twilight for support. The princess smiles and nods. The filly looks down and thinks. She looks at Diamond Tiara.

‘Are ya willin’ t’ say the same t’ me and mah friends at school tomorrow?’

Diamond Tiara panics for a moment at the thought of the potential public humiliation that would follow the public apology, but she stands tall and nods. ‘Yes. I am willing to do that.’

Silver Spoon turns around. ‘If you really do that, then I will consider being your friend again.’

Silver Spoon steps towards her house. Apple Bloom looks between the two former friends and starts heading back towards town. Diamond Tiara sighs and turns back towards Twilight. The alicorn growls and lifts all three fillies with her magic. She lines them up in front of her.

‘I didn’t want to get involved, but you two are being so stubborn and rude.’ Twilight huffs at Silver Spoon and Apple Bloom. ‘Diamond Tiara is crying out for a friend, and you two are ignoring her desperate pleas. It does not take much to be a friend, and you two are not willing to make that minimal effort.’ The two fillies look away, ashamed. ‘I don’t know about your family Silver Spoon, but I know Applejack would be very upset at you, Apple Bloom, for this sort of behaviour.’

‘I’m sorry, Miss Twilight,’ Apple Bloom apologizes.

‘I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, both of you.’

Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon turn to Diamond Tiara with their heads down. ‘We are really sorry, Diamond Tiara.’

Diamond Tiara sighs. ‘We were all being jerks because of me. It is not your fault.’

‘Would either of you want to do something today?’ Silver Spoon asks.

‘Only if Ah can invite Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, too. Y’all are nice and all, but...’

‘I have to get Diamond Tiara back home soon,’ Twilight interrupts. ‘How about I ask Pinkie Pie to get a party together for you on my way back home?’

‘Ah guess that would be nice,’ Apple Bloom replies. ‘What ‘bout y’all?’

‘Sounds fun.’ Diamond Tiara shrugs.

‘I’ll have to ask my mom since I was out all night already,’ Silver Spoon adds.

‘Excellent! It is great seeing everypony becoming good friends.’ Twilight beams.

‘I’ll see you later, I guess,’ Diamond Tiara says.

The pink filly trots back home with Twilight at her side. The filly is crying tears of joy.

‘Thank you. Thank you for your help.’

Twilight smiles at the filly. ‘What are friends for?’

Scootaloo screams in frustration. Beside her, an evil cackle grates against her nerves.

‘Rematch! And no using hacks!’ the filly shouts.

‘You’re on,’ James laughs.

The two ponies are playing video games. Scootaloo’s mother watches. She sighs with boredom. James offers another controller.

‘Always room for one more.’

‘This was not how I thought my day would be.’

The game is instantly turned off.

‘HEY!’ Scootaloo yells.

‘Sorry. Your mom’s turn to choose what we do now.’

Scootaloo turns and glares at her mother.

‘Y-you can keep playing. Don’t mind me.’

‘Try again,’ James says.

‘N-no. Keep going.’

‘One more with feeling.’

‘I-I... N-n...’

‘Just pick something, mom!’

Scootaloo’s mother snaps, ‘Stop yelling at me!’

Scootaloo backs away. ‘I’m sorry.’

Her mother snorts and turns to James. ‘What is your movie selection like?’

James grins and pulls a keyboard from behind the couch. ‘Everything in the universe. What do you like?’

‘Do you have any good detective mysteries?’

Scootaloo groans.

‘Scoots. We’re watching what I want to watch, and that is final.’

James laughs and starts the movie. ‘Feels good, right?’

‘It is just so frustrating dealing with her insolence. It makes me want to scream.’

‘Mom?’

‘I can soundproof your room if you need to.’

Scootaloo’s mother takes a deep breath. ‘No. I can distract myself with a good mystery.’

‘I can broadcast to the washroom if you want to draw a warm bath, too.’

The pegasus mare regains her calm. ‘I’m good.’ She pats the seat next to her. ‘Scoots, will you sit with me like you used to?’

‘Yes, mom.’

Scootaloo moves to sit next her mother. James laughs at the family scene. The three ponies settle in for the movie.

James sets plates of food on the dining room table as he and Scootaloo’s mother finishes cooking. Rei bounces in her seat as she waits for dinner. Fluttershy sighs and lays her head on the table. Scootaloo watches the adults at work.

‘New dishes! New dishes!’ Rei cheers.

‘Rei, dear, not so loud until the headache medicine kicks in,’ Fluttershy winces.

‘I can't believe I missed a party with my friends because of that jerk,’ Scootaloo grumbles.

‘I’m not that big of a jerk,’ James says.

‘Not you,’ the filly moans. ‘The jerk we are hiding from.’

Scootaloo’s mother sets a dish on the table. ‘Actually, I sort of want to go back to work tomorrow.’

‘Are you sure about that?’ James asks.

‘N-not really, but I don’t want to be cooped up anymore. Like you two said, I have friends with the weather patrol if I need them.’

‘I’ll see you out there,’ Fluttershy offers. ‘You don’t want to be caught alone.’

‘Thank you.’

Nom nom nom. Rei swallows and sets an empty dish down. ‘Scootaloo to school for you.’

‘Rei, you’re supposed to let the guests serve themselves first,’ James groans.

‘I did.’

Rei points at Scootaloo. The younger filly looks up with her mouth full of food.

‘What? I’m starved.’

The adults sigh and start serving themselves as well.

Fluttershy gives Scootaloo’s mother an encouraging hug before leaving her with the rest of the weather patrol. Rainbow Dash and all of the stallions and mares fly over to their friend.

‘We all heard what was going on,’ Dash says. ‘We have your back and will keep ya safe.’

‘I call right of first blood!’ Flitter shouts.

Scootaloo’s mother laughs. ‘That is okay. As long as you are with me, I’ll feel safe.’

‘Anything for our friend,’ Raindrops assures.

‘Speaking of which...’ Dash growls.

The other pegasi form up around Scootaloo’s mother as a dark orange pegasus flies up. He has a bandage on his left cheek. Cloudchaser has to hold Flitter back from attacking the approaching pegasus. Scootaloo’s father stops a short distance from the group. He gets an envelope from his pack and sets it on a nearby cloud.

‘I am leaving. I’m going back to Cloudsdale to find an assignment as far away from here as possible. You can keep your house and your kid, just leave me my money so I can get reestablished somewhere else.’ He taps the envelope. ‘That is all in there. … Divorce from the courts and an annulment from the church. Just let me leave this Celestia-forsaken town in peace.’

He flaps his wings and flies away. The other pegasi turn toward Scootaloo’s mother. She has the widest grin and is wiping tears of joy.

‘I am free. We are finally free of him,’ she laughs.

The other pegasi congratulate and comfort the emotional pegasus. One loud, beefy pegasus lets out a ‘yeah’ in celebration.

Rei gives Scootaloo an extra long hug and a big kiss on the cheek outside of the schoolhouse before she flies off. The embarrassed filly heads straight in and goes right to her desk. She tries to hide herself from the world. A throat clears beside her. She looks over to see Diamond Tiara.

‘What do you want?’ Scootaloo grumbles.

Diamond Tiara bows. ‘I am very sorry for all of the teasing I have subjected you to. If you could ever forgive me, I would like to be your friend.’

The pegasus is shocked. ‘Uh, okay. Thank you.’

The pink filly looks up and smiles. ‘Thank you.’

Diamond Tiara goes to her seat, trying to ignore the giggles she is getting. Scootaloo looks around and tries to figure out what happened. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle smile in encouragement. The pegasus sighs and goes back to her moping, but a sheet of paper appears in front of her. She looks up at a smiling Featherweight.

‘Um, hi, Scootaloo.’

‘Hey.’

‘I, um, noticed you were upset the other day. I was making this for you and your friends. You can have it first.’

Scootaloo looks at the paper. It is a collage of photos of her and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders on their adventures as well as several photos of the individual fillies looking cool.

Scootaloo smiles. ‘This is great!’ She pulls the skinny pegasus over her desk to hug him. ‘You’re very sweet for making this for us.’

The filly releases the blushing colt. She leans over and gives him a small peck on the cheek. Both pegasi blush a little. Featherweight flitters away to his desk.

I guess colts aren’t that bad... Scootaloo thinks.

The door to the schoolhouse opens, and James grumbles as he marches in.

‘Cheerilee’s out again,’ he snorts. ‘First lesson: Bermuleda sounds nothing like a flu.’

Bonus Scene - since we need something light

Author's Note

Physicist's Wife Arc - Part 4

Story Timeline: Scootaloo and her mother are freed from Scootaloo's abusive father. Silver Spoon befriends the CMC. Diamond Tiara begins becoming nice*. (* Nice meaning Diamond Tiara nice, which is still kinda bratty.)

Current Scootaloo Love Triangle: Diamond Tiara vs Featherweight

Story Event: This would be the only chapter I would consider dropping from the story. Just to tone and atmosphere around it... If the show contradicts this chapter enough, it may just disappear.

Fun fact: The colors picked for Scootaloo's mother were ones guessed to be the colors of Tim/Rip Chord/MC RC who runs The Chaos Theatre near The Power Block

A Well-Earned Break

Main Characters: TWP, Fluttershy, Rei, Inkie, Octavia, Trixie, Stormy
Cameos: Twilight, Spike, Lucas, Lyra, Bon Bon, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Amelia, Silver, Vinyl, Luna
Original Write Date: 03/08/2012
Ponyifed Date: June 10, 2012

Note: The characters are going to be written as if they are wearing normal beach attire, i.e. swimsuits and your imagination. Please feel free to correct me if the articles are used improperly. (Unless they are intended to be used improperly as part of some poor seduction plan.)

Warning: There is a lot of implied sexual conduct and a lot of explicit sexual humor. If you are offended by this type of humor, feel free to skip this story. Otherwise, enjoy probably the most mature story in the series for a long time if ever.

James moans and stretches his forelegs as he sits up in bed. He checks his mobile and is happy to wake up past noon as usual. He slides out of bed and heads out to get ready for the day. The rest of the residence is empty. Rei must have been running late again since her saddlebag was left by her slippers at the entrance. Normally, Fluttershy would have dropped it off at school for the filly but not if she left first. He laughs and heads to the washroom to clean up.
After brushing his mane, James heads down to the main floor of The Power Block. The shop is lightly populated, and Lucas is relaxing at the counter next to an interesting guest.
Lyra is getting a lot of stares from how she is sitting on the counter as she kicks her hind legs against her makeshift bench. As soon as James reaches the main floor, Lyra lights up, sets down her lyre and waves him over.
‘Hey James!’ Lyra cheers. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Shouldn’t you be in class right now?’ James asks.
Lyra checks a watch. ‘I am still on lunch break. Anyway, I have an offer for you.’
James facehooves. ‘No, I am not really a human in pony form, and nothing you can say can change that.’
‘Aww! I mean!’ Lyra catches herself. ‘No, what I was going to say is that the family beach house back west is going to be free for the rest of the summer. My parents are chill with letting me borrow it. I figure a beach vacay is a good way to pay you back for helping us in the capital a while back.’
‘Uh, pay us all back?’ Lucas asks.
‘Of course!’ Lyra cheers. ‘Well, up to a dozen of you since we only have six spare rooms, not counting Bon Bon and me in the master bedroom.’
‘Six rooms!’ James and Lucas exclaim.
‘Holy cow.’ Lucas is shocked.
‘Yeah,’ James agrees. ‘Judging by your place in the capital, I would have thought you would have more than that.’
Lyra narrows her eyes and glares. ‘When have you been in my place back home?’
James stares back. ‘You had us over after the mission, genius.’
‘Oh right!’ Lyra’s mobile buzzes. She checks it and sighs. ‘Well, get back to me soon and I’ll make the arrangements. I have to’ -- she makes air quotes with her hooves -- ‘ “get back to work” or else I am “fired”. Pfft. Some people.’
Lyra hops off the counter and heads out the door, lyre in hoof as she walks on her hind legs. She waves as she leaves. James turns to Lucas.
‘You’re going.’
‘What! But you know I get sea sick!’ Lucas complains.
‘Then stay on the beach and read. I am sure Twilight and Rainbow Dash will love having a reading buddy.’
Lucas groans in protest as he watches his boss round the counter. ‘If I keep complaining, you’re just going to make me take a state-mandated vacation, aren’t you?’
James gets out the company Chromebook and heads back to the main floor. He stops to think. ‘Huh. I’ll have to give Rei some money so she can take Inkie swimsuit shopping. I am certain she will want to get a new bikini for the trip.’
Lucas glares at his boss. ‘I hate you so much right now.’

A pair of stagecoaches are drawn away away from a large, beachfront mansion after dropping off the passengers and luggage. A large group of ponies stand in awe of the mansion before them. At the front of the group, Lyra tries to open the front doors. She is tugging hard on the doors with her magic and trying every combination of the keys she has been given. The rest of the visitors are too busy taking in the atmosphere to care.
‘Why won’t you open!’ Lyra shouts.
James clears his throat and steps forward. ‘Might I help?’
‘What? Are you going to use your super alien brain to figure out which key it is?’
James holds up his sonic. ‘Or I could just use my screwdriver.’
Lyra grumbles and steps aside. James gives the locks a quick once over with the sonic, and they swing open effortlessly. Lyra snatches up her bag from where Bon Bon was tending it. The others gather their bags and follow Lyra inside. As impressed as the group was with the outside of the outside of the mansion, they are even more impressed with the inside.
‘I knew your family was rich...’ Bon Bon muses.
Lyra checks her hooves and pretends to not care. ‘Well, we are sandwiched between some new moneys, but it does fine.’
‘Holy guacamole!’ Spike shouts. ‘Your entire house back home can fit in here, Twilight!’
‘Thanks, Spike,’ Twilight groans.
Rarity fluffs her mane. ‘I guess this is posh, but is it posh enough?’
‘Geez,’ Rainbow Dash groans. ‘Only you can complain about a mansion.’
‘Well, I just see where there can be room for improvement...’
There is a collective thud as all of Rarity’s friends facehoof.
‘Hey!’ Rei calls from a landing at the top of a staircase. ‘Which room is mine!’
‘D’oh!’ Twilight grunts. ‘I knew there was something I forgot to plan.’
‘Bon Bon and I get the master bedroom.’ Lyra grabs Bon Bon in a hug. ‘That way we won’t keep all of you up with the noise.’
Bon Bon squeals. ‘Lyra! Stop it. You’re embarrassing me.’
Lyra kisses her wife on the cheek. ‘No. That will come later.’ She leans in and whispers. ‘As will you.’
Bon Bon blushes and squirms in her wife’s forelegs. Everypony looks embarrassed. The young Spike looks shocked as he stares at the couple.
‘What did she say!’ Rei shouts down. ‘Also! I put my stuff in that big room! Okay?’
‘Rei! No! Find a different room!’ James shouts back up. He looks over at Inkie. ‘Make sure you two get a good room.’
‘Me and Rei...’ Inkie smiles and blushes. ‘Okay!’
Inkie grabs her bag and gallops up to meet Rei. Lyra and Bon Bon follow Inkie up. James picks up his bags and starts heading towards the bedrooms.
‘I think I should share a room with Lucas to avoid any potential awkward situations. We don’t want a repeat of the cruise.’ He stops to think. ‘Stormy, you should stay with Spike.’
‘But, what about me...’ Fluttershy peeps.
Rarity puts an foreleg around her friend. ‘You can stay with me, Mrs Wanderer.’
Fluttershy blushes and nods. Twilight, Pinkie and Applejack all growl at Fluttershy’s title, which lifts Fluttershy’s spirits again. Rarity starts leading Fluttershy away, passing James along the way.
Rarity looks back. ‘No offense, but I want to get one of the fancier rooms before anypony else can gyp me.’
‘Hey!’ Rei calls down. ‘We found a really fancy guest room! Is that okay!’
‘What!’ Rarity shouts. She starts galloping up the stairs with Fluttershy in tow.
‘Good girl!’ James shouts up as he continues to climb the stairs.
The remaining four mares look among each other.
‘So, who do y’all want t’ bunk with?’ Applejack asks.
‘Ooo! Ooo!’ Pinkie cheers. ‘Twilight should stay with me! Since we are always up late anyway, we won’t bother each other and can do each others mane and chat and all sorts of fun sleepovery things!’
‘Pinkie. I am up all night studying,’ Twilight groans. ‘I prefer to do that in quiet.’
‘Did you bring any extra Daring Do!’ Rainbow Dash asks forcefully.
‘Uh... Sorry.’ Twilight gives a bashful grin.
Rainbow Dash growls. ‘Lame sauce!’ She takes her bag and leaves. ‘One of you take her. She’s useless.’
‘Rainbow!’ Twilight shouts.
Applejack pats Twilight on the back. ‘Come on, Twi. We can bunk together.’
‘Aww! What about the Twinkie Pie Team of Awesomeness?’ Pinkie pouts.
‘Pinkie. Remember the last time we tried to share something?’
‘Aww! But James is here this time. What are the odds that we will have another fight to the death with laser swords over a volcano?’
Twilight just stares blankly at her friend before turning and trotting up the stairs to catch up with Applejack. Pinkie pouts for a moment then sighs and shrugs.
‘Yeah. I guess that sounds pretty likely to me too. Dashie! Wait up!’

To celebrate the first night at Lyra’s beach house, the guests are having a beachside barbecue. After eating, everypony is hanging out on the beach, chatting, playing beach games and, in Rei’s case, taking a swim. James comes outside with his mobile in hoof. After a few steps out of the door, he stops, looks around, goes to a nearby column and marks a spot near its peak. Rarity comes over from where she was watching Applejack and Rainbow Dash try to out-frisbee each other.
‘What do you have going on here?’ Rarity asks.
James looks up. ‘Huh? Oh. Just helping Lyra fix up her house a bit.’
‘Oh? How so, darling?’
‘I’m finding the spots where her network cuts out, and Lucas and Inkie are wiring up switches and routers as needed.’
Twilight, listening in, groans and hits her book against her head. James snorts and looks back in the house for his assistants. Lucas comes trotting up, levitating a drill and a router. James taps the mark. Lucas moans and gets to work.
‘Couldn’t you have just soniced their network?’ Lucas grumbles.
‘Please. It was completely nonexistent to begin with. Besides, how many of these did we really have to set up?’
‘You weren’t the one who had to carry everything around the house.’
‘And you weren’t the one hunting the signal.’
‘And neither of you are the ones willing to give up constant internet for a while,’ Twilight groans.
‘OOO!’ Rarity gasps while checking her mobile. ‘My shoe outlet is having a sale! Buy~ing~!’
Rarity wanders back inside while fiddling with her mobile. Twilight moans again and starts hitting her forehead with her book. Lucas finishes his work and heads back inside right as Inkie is heading out. Bon Bon goes over to Twilight. She pats the younger mare on the shoulder.
‘There, there.’ Bon Bon comforts. ‘You and I are only a few years apart, and some of the stuff your generation does confuses me too.’
Lyra walks out on her hind legs with a pair of nightgowns in her hooves. ‘Hon, which one would you like better for sexy cuddling smoocherific times later?’
Bon Bon facehoofs. ‘Of course there are some in my generation that continue to baffle me. Fortunately, there are plenty of large and comfortable couches to sleep on.’
Lyra pouts and crosses her forelegs. ‘Fine. Neither of these. I’m still wearing what I picked out for myself though.’
Lyra marches back into the mansion with her gowns. Bon Bon watches her wife go for a moment before it hits her.
‘Wait. What?’ Bon Bon exclaims. ‘Lyra! Wait!’
Bon Bon rushes to catch up with her wife. Twilight sighs and turns back to her book. That is when she notices that James is sitting right next to her and staring at his mobile. She groans yet again.
‘You should really read a book sometime.’
‘I am.’ He flashes his mobile. ‘Kindle app.’
Twilight glares. ‘I hate you so much right now.’
Applejack leaps high into the air to catch a pass from Rainbow Dash. The catch elicits cheers from Spike, Pinkie and Inkie. Rei steps out of the ocean and looks for her towel.
‘Thank you. Thank you.’ Rei bows. ‘And, yes, I am that awesome.’
‘Not you, genius,’ Stormy sighs. ‘We’re watching them.’
Rei growls at Stormy as she dries her mane. She does a quick hip thrust in his direction, getting him to take an extra stare at the cutie mark sticking out from under her swimsuit. Stormy turns back to the game, blushing the same color as his mane. He notices Inkie staring at Rei as well.
Applejack looks for an opening with Rainbow Dash. The shorter mare uses her wings to her advantage by sticking low to the ground but with knees bent, ready to jump. Applejack snorts, adjusts her hat and shoots a fast but wide, throw. Rainbow dashes and intercepts the frisbee in mid arc. She spins it briefly on a wing and fires it right back, faster than she received it. The frisbee also curves up, causing Applejack to literally hold on to her hat as she avoids being hit. Rainbow Dash lets out a laugh as Applejack regains her composure.
‘Ha! Go fetch, Winona,’ Rainbow Dash gloats.
Applejack growls. ‘At least she’d play fair...’
‘What is there to cheat in frisbee?’ Rainbow Dash turns away. ‘Now, go get it.’ She pauses for a moment before turning and sticking her tongue out.
Applejack turns and trots away to find the frisbee, all while grumbling and cursing Rainbow Dash. Before she can get too far, the frisbee wafts out of the dusk and lands in Applejack’s hooves. A figure steps out of the growing darkness and strikes a pose with a cape flapping in the sea breeze.
‘Greeting, fair neighbors! The Great and Powerful Trixie welcomes you to this fine beach!’ Trixie greets. She holds her forelegs up into the air as magical fireworks shoot off behind her.
Twilight groans and facehoofs. The beach patrons near Trixie step back to avoid the fireworks. Rei squeals with delight and claps. Lyra, Bon Bon, Fluttershy and Lucas all come outside to see what the excitement is about. Once her firework show is done, Trixie trots over to the deck where most of Lyra’s guests are gathered, stopping only to pat Rei on the head.
‘Trixie is here!’ Rei squeals. ‘Look, everypony! Trixie is here!’
‘We gathered that,’ Twilight jeers. ‘What are you doing here, Trixie?’
‘That’s no way to treat our neighbor, Twilight,’ Lyra scolds. ‘Actually, I am kind of surprised you are here.’
Trixie takes a seat at a table, throwing her cape over the back of the chair. ‘Well, I wasn’t planning on a vacation, but my schedule opened up and my mom is trying to suck up to me more than usual, probably because she still owes me for all of the hassle we had a few months back... Anyway! All I had to do was ask and our villa was mine for the taking.’
‘It is always a pleasure to see you again, Trixie,’ James greets.
‘Likewise, James,’ Trixie replies.
‘Why did you choose now, of all times, to come out here?’ Twilight asks.
‘Ah! A little fan of mine’ -- Rei squeals -- ‘told me about your planned excursion, and I figured it would be a wonderful time to visit my friends again.’
‘It is mighty nice seeing y’all again. Ah hope ya have some new stories ‘bout yer recent travels.’
‘Oh, indeed I do, Applejack.’ Trixie thinks. ‘Hmm. You know, I should have you over to visit. I am sure we have better libations than the usual Heartstrings fare.’
Lyra shrugs. ‘Meh. Probably.’
‘Libations?’ James asks. ‘Yeah. Me and Rei are definitely not coming over.’
Trixie sighs heavily. ‘Give that a rest, will you?’
‘Why should he?’ Twilight and Fluttershy snap. They briefly make eye contact and nod in agreement.
Trixie sighs again. ‘Fine. Oh! But I have an offer for all of you.’
‘I’ll take it!’ Rei says, instantly.
‘That will do, Rei.’ Trixie nods at the teenager. ‘As I was saying, since it is me all alone, not even a staff, at my place, I would be happy to host any of you if you so desire.’
‘No,’ James says bluntly.
Everypony knows who that was directed at as Rei moans as loudly as she can before falling back onto the beach to tantrum.
‘I may not have as many rooms as your gracious host,’ Trixie adds, ‘but, I am sure I can accommodate anypony with plenty of space for them.’ She smirks and shakes her flank a bit. ‘Maybe a bit less space if Twilight accepts.’
Twilight looks back then turns away. The others mill about as they consider the offer. Trixie sighs and shrugs. She gets up from the table.
‘No need to rush a decision. I’ll be right down the beach if you need me.’
Trixie steps down from the deck and trots right into Stormy. Both of them exchange smiles.
‘Great to see you again, Trixie.’
‘Likewise, dear Stormy.’
They smile again before Trixie heads off down the beach. She stretches before disappearing out of eyesight. Everypony goes back to their business. Pinkie goes over to the still sulking Twilight.
‘It’s okay,’ Pinkie comforts. ‘That sort of thing doesn’t matter.’
‘Yeah!’ Rei adds, recovering from her tantrum. ‘In fact, at least you’re smaller than Rainbow Dash. So that is something.’
‘Hey! Watch it, punk!’ Rainbow Dash threatens.
‘Well, she does have a point,’ Bon Bon says.
Everypony turns to look at her.
Bon Bon blushes. ‘What! When Lyra says something like that, it is normal but not for me? Can’t I be allowed a tiny look once in awhile too?’
Lyra looks from Bon Bon to Twilight to Rainbow Dash before back to Bon Bon. ‘Okay, but just one of them can join at a time. I don’t want it to get weird.’
Twilight turns bright red and tries to hide behind her book. Fluttershy lets slip an extra loud laugh at her friends. Spike can barely look over at the mare who is like a big sister to him before blushing from the embarrassing thoughts he is having about Twilight.
‘Can this trip get any weirder?’ Rainbow Dash groans.
Rarity comes galloping out of the mansion. ‘OH! MY! CELESTIA!’
‘What?’ Everypony asks.
‘You’ll never believe it!’ Rarity holds up her mobile. ‘According to her Twitter, Trixie is in town and staying in a villa near here!’
Everypony groans and facehoofs.
‘Well, I don’t think she is that bad,’ Rarity counters.

Applejack is out jogging on the beach after everypony has gone back inside for the night. She used the jog to familiarize herself with the area and make mental note of some places she would want to explore when the sun is out. She makes it back to the beach in front of Lyra’s mansion and sits down to take a rest along the shoreline. She stares out to sea, admiring the waves, while the water laps at her hooves. Something in the waves catches her eye.
‘Incoming!’ shouts a pony riding a boogie board.
Applejack screams and tries standing in time, but she is tackled by the rider and board. The pair tumble up the beach for a moment before coming to a stop. Applejack groans as she finds herself sandwiched between board and rider. Above her, James smiles down while wearing Applejack’s hat.
‘Sorry.’ He laughs. ‘Tried to warn ya.’
‘Lota good that did,’ Applejack growls. ‘Now if ya’d kindly get off o’ me...’
‘Sorry.’ James laughs.
He stands up and helps Applejack to her hooves. She snatches her hat back and glares as soon as she is up. He finds his towel and offers it to Applejack first. Getting a curt head shake in return, James starts drying off before he gets too cold.
‘What are y’all doin’ out in the middle o’ the night anyway? Are ya crazy?’ Applejack pauses. ‘Wait. Ah know the answer t’ that last one.’
James laughs. ‘Heh. It has been so long since I was last out here like this, I sort of couldn’t resist.’ He looks over the ocean. ‘So great to be back.’
‘Yeah, but why head out at night?’
James gives a nervous smile. ‘Would you mind taking a stroll with me?’
Applejack sighs. ‘Fine. Ah was needin’ a cool-down after mah jog anyway.’
The pair trots down the beach towards Trixie’s villa. They are relatively out of sight of the houses. After a few moments, Applejack looks over.
‘Well?’
‘Right,’ James sighs. ‘I’m afraid of sharks.’
Applejack is really confused now. ‘What?’
‘When I am deep enough water, my mind instantly fills that void with sharks. It is worse at night since the darkness makes all water seem like deep water to me.’
‘So y’all were jus’ givin’ yerself a friendly scare?’
James laughs. ‘More or less. You have to take some baby steps to get over your fears. What about you? Out for a moonlight stroll under the stars? … Oh wait. That is what we are doing right now.’
Applejack blushes and looks away. ‘Actually, Ah was jus’ gettin’ a jog in befer callin’ it a night. We didn’ get much exercise with all the travelin’ we did, so Ah wanted t’ get somethin’ done.’
‘Pfft! Come on. You always look after your body more than all of the ponies I know. I doubt it would hurt for you to take one day off.’
Applejack blushes even more and tries hiding under her hat. ‘Thanks... That actually means a lot t’ me.’
‘Just don’t take too many days off or you’ll end up looking like me.’
‘Y’all ain’t that bad. Jus’ gotta do something ‘bout yer mane.’
James raises an eyebrow. ‘What about my mane, Mr Purple?’
Applejack looks over and gives a friendly laugh. ‘Nothin’.’
The pair keep trotting down the beach. Far in the distance, city lights come into view. After a bit, they stop at the edge of a tide pool. James crouches down and puts a hoof in the water.
‘We should totally come back here later.’
Applejack smiles down at her friend. ‘Definitely.’
James stands and wipes his hoof on his now-dry trunks. ‘Well, we should be getting back. I should shower before bed.’
‘Yeah. Me too.’
The trot back to the mansion is equally quiet. Along the way, Applejack slowly and unconsciously steps closer to James until she inadvertently puts her hoof around his. He stops and turns to her. She catches herself and tries trot away, but she also refuses to let go. They stop with Applejack trying not to look back.
‘Appleja...’
Before James can finish, Applejack turns and gives him a kiss. They break and stare into each other’s eyes. Applejack bites her lip and looks away.
‘Ah am sorry, James, but Ah like ya! Ah really do! Y’all are jus’ so... different than the other guys Ah normally see.’
‘I don’t know what to say, Apple...’
Applejack cuts him off with another kiss. She leans with their foreheads touching. ‘Please don’ say mah name. Ah am so used t’ ya teasin’ me that, when ya talk t’ me normal like...’ She shakes her head. ‘Ah feel so ashamed. First goin’ against Twi and Pinks. Now, goin’ against Fluttershy. Ah jus’ can’t help myself.’
James takes Applejack’s other hoof in his and gives both a squeeze. ‘You have nothing to worry about.’
‘What do ya mean? Ah am goin’ against my best friends fer the guy they like. They’d hate me if they knew.’
James sighs. ‘There you go again. Little Miss Honesty worrying about being honest with the ones she cares about the most.’ Applejack looks away. ‘How about this: you can start by being honest with me. If you can work with a receptive audience, then that can give you courage to talk with the others, especially Fluttershy, about anything.’
‘Damn it. That is why Ah like ya. Yer always challenging me about somethin’. If yer not teasin’ me with yer weird nerd things, yer causin’ trouble with mah sister or doin’ somethin’ t’ get me. Yer the only one that doesn’ back down either. Ah like somepony who is strong in their beliefs.’
Applejack gives James a peck on the cheek and lets go of his hooves. She resumes trotting back to the mansion. She stops almost instantly when she is grabbed in a hug.
‘You can be quite adorable when you are embarrassed like this.’
Applejack blushes and looks down. ‘Please don’ let go...’
‘Sorry, but I think I should before the missis catches us and she starts giving you as much grief as she gives Twilight.’
James lets Applejack go after a quick kiss to her cheek right when a torchlight comes into view. An anxious Fluttershy is looking around.
‘James! Where are you, James?’ Fluttershy calls.
‘Over here!’ James calls and waves. ‘Just out looking around with Applejack.’
Fluttershy gallops over and grabs James in a hug. ‘Oh thank goodness. I saw your board unattended, and I thought you had gotten swept out to sea or drowned or...’ She starts crying.
James comforts her. ‘It’s all right. I stayed relatively close to shore the whole time, then I had a nice lifeguard show up.’
‘Thank you, Applejack,’ Fluttershy says. ‘I don’t know what I would do if I lost him.’
Applejack rubs the back of her head. ‘Shoot. Ah did nothin’. Ah jus’ showed up while he was there.’
‘Thank you anyway.’ Fluttershy turns back to James and brushes some sand from him. ‘Now, you go inside and get all cleaned up, okay?’
‘Yes, dear,’ James kisses Fluttershy then heads back towards the house.
Applejack starts heading back too. She is stopped when her tail gets pulled. She turns back to see Fluttershy standing on her tail and giving her a furious glare.
‘What were you doing with him?’ Fluttershy snarls.
‘We weren’t doin’ anythin’. We were jus’ talkin’.’
Fluttershy’s eyes narrow. ‘Why is your coat wet?’
‘Sheesh. ‘Cause he hit me with his board by accident.’
Fluttershy gives Applejack the once-over then releases the other mare’s tail. ‘Good, because New Fluttershy doesn’t like it when somepony tries to steal her man.’
Fluttershy marches back to the house, flicking her mane in Applejack’s direction as she goes. Applejack just stares and rubs her sore head.
‘Pinkie and Rarity were right about New Fluttershy. What a bitch.’

Fluttershy and Rarity are getting ready for bed. They are sitting on opposite sides of their shared bed, both brushing their manes out. Fluttershy hums a happy song to herself. She finishes the song and the brushing then starts getting her side of the bed set.
‘Fluttershy...’ Rarity begins. ‘May I ask you a bold question?’
‘Um...’ Fluttershy stares at the bed for a moment. ‘Okay.’
‘I happened to spy your... encounter with Applejack earlier. While I couldn’t hear what you said, I could tell it was less than civil. I must know, when are you going to tell the others?’
Fluttershy lays down and stares at the wall away from Rarity. She lets out a small whine and pulls the covers over her head.
‘Deary, you’re going to have to tell them sometime.’
‘But we agreed that it was up to me to tell them. I... I am just not ready yet.’
‘It has been a couple weeks now. The longer you wait, the more upset they will be.’
Fluttershy whimpers. ‘He has my back. He won’t tell unless I ask.’
Rarity sighs. ‘Fine. You know I won’t tell. I just want you to know you are risking a lot with your friends the longer you wait.’
Fluttershy lets out a high-pitched whine. Rarity finishes her mane and gets out an eye cover. She slides under the sheets and gives a contented sigh.
‘Be a dear and get the lights. Thanks~!’
Fluttershy groans and gets up to turn off the lights.

A persistent rapping fills Trixie’s villa early in the morning. The Tired and Irritated Trixie makes her way through the house to the front door, stopping only to throw one of her trademark robes overs her star-patterned pajamas. She gets to the door, takes a moment to calm herself and fix her mane, then prepares to give the visitor a shouting to of a lifetime.
Trixie throws the door open. ‘Now see he... LUNA!’
Princess Luna is standing at the door. She is dressed rather plainly giving her position, and she is wearing a small saddlebag. She smiles at Trixie as she adjusts her glasses.
‘Hi!’ Luna greets. ‘I heard you might have a spare room available.’
Trixie is surprised. ‘Where did you hear that? Are you spying on me?’
Luna laughs and steps in front of a bag with binoculars and listening devices. ‘Aaaanyway! Would you mind if I stay for a bit?’
Trixie sticks her head out of the door and looks around. ‘You don’t have an army battalion hiding in case I say “no,” right?’ She smirks. ‘Though I wouldn’t mind seeing that captain of the guard...’
Luna sways in place a bit. ‘Well... Tia wouldn’t let me come without guards, but I ordered them to stay back and not interfere. It will just be me.’
Trixie thinks. ‘Hmm. I guess that will have to do.’ She looks Luna over. ‘Besides, you’ll only take up as much space as Twilight Sparkle. Follow me to your room.’
Luna starts following. She stops to look at herself in one of the many mirrors in the house. ‘Wait. What was that about my space!’

Octavia enjoys the beach. The cool breezes. The warm sun. The delicious beach drinks requiring varying amounts of booze to overpower the various other flavors in the drink. A giant beach umbrella to keep the warm sun’s damaging UV rays off her pristine coat and to block the cool breezes from upsetting her well-maintained mane. Octavia sighs in contentment and takes a sip of her delicious drink.
Behind Octavia, there is a loud yawn. ‘Mornin’, Tavi!’
Octavia gets up from her beach chair and looks back towards her house. She groans and facehoofs as Vinyl Scratch trots up to where Octavia is sitting. Octavia peeks between her hooves to her guest behind her. She instantly bolts around and points an accusing hoof at her friend.
‘That’s my bikini!’
Vinyl laughs playfully. ‘May~be!’
Octavia shudders and sits down again. ‘You can keep it.’
Vinyl laughs again, but something catches her attention. ‘Whoops! Looks like we’ll be having a guest. I’ll be back.’
Vinyl rushes back into the house to find a shirt. Octavia groans and looks down the beach. She sees a figure slowly approaching. She groans and takes another drink. She takes a longer drink when she recognizes the approaching person.
‘Hey Jimmy!’ Vinyl shouts from the house as she returns wearing some additional clothing.
James looks up from his mobile. ‘Wha? Hey Vinyl. Hey Octy. You’re here too?’
‘Right. This trip is getting better and better,’ Octavia groans.
Vinyl trots out onto the beach again. ‘Whatcha doing here? We heard you last night, but somepony didn’t want to be neighborly.’
‘Forgive me for wishing to retain my sanity,’ Octavia moans. She looks over her new visitor and suppresses a frown over her guest’s plain trunks. ‘Anyway, like Vinyl asked, what are you doing here?’
James holds up his mobile. ‘I found a geocache last night before going to bed. The kids and I are just tracking it down.’
Octavia rolls her eyes. ‘What could possibly be hidden out here?’
James taps a couple buttons. ‘The clue says that it is a pair of round, firm objects.’ He takes a step forward. ‘Your plot!’
Octavia quickly stands up and slaps James as hard as she can. ‘Excuse me!’
James picks his glasses up from the sand and brushes them off. ‘I was just going to ask you to move it. The geocache is under your chair.’
Octavia grumbles and gets her drink again. ‘You could have just said that.’ Or at least noticed it... She pouts.
‘Sorry. We’ll be out of your way soon enough.’
James and Vinyl move the beach chair and umbrella out of the way. Octavia heads back to stand in the shade by her house. Vinyl joins her friend as they watch James sonicing the ground. Suddenly, the ground shakes and a two-meter wide hole instantly forms right where Octavia was sitting. Octavia shrieks at the top of her lungs. Inkie’s head pops out of the hole and looks around. Rei pops out too, gasping for breath.
‘Air! Water!’ Rei gasps. ‘Drink!’ She scampers out of the hole, takes Octavia’s drink and downs it in one gulp. ‘This is pretty go...’
Rei sways then falls face first into the sand. James shakes his head at Octavia.
‘Before noon?’ He asks.
‘My beach...’ Octavia gallops over to the hole. ‘What did you do to my beach!’
Inkie tosses a pair of wooden spheres the size of beach balls out of the hole before climbing out.
‘That was all that was down there, boss.’ she reports.
‘My beach...’ Octavia frowns into the hole, and her lower lip quivers.
‘Ready to fill it in?’ James asks Inkie.
‘No prob,’ Inkie salutes. ‘Stand back a bit until it starts.’
Inkie reaches down and pulls a rope out of the hole. She gives it a sharp tug, and the ground starts shaking again.
‘What now?’ Octavia moans.
‘Oh. You have to check this out,’ James grins.
James quickly lifts Octavia to her hind legs, spins her around and pushes her into the hole. She screams and starts flailing. She does not fall since there is a source of wind forcing her up as the hole starts filling from below.
Inkie giggles. ‘Fun, isn’t it?’
Inkie leans over the the hole, but she is pushed back up from the wind. Octavia keeps flailing, so James reaches out and catches her foreleg. She pulls hard and pulls him over the hole as well Octavia grabs James in a tight hug right as gravity takes over, and they fall. They hit the sand with James able to prop himself up with his free leg. The ground stops shaking. Octavia catches her breath as she stares up at the stallion leaning over her.
‘I wanna do that with Inkie too!’ Rei shouts. She tries crawling forward but passes out in the sand once more.
James steps back from the prone mare. He offers a hoof to help Octavia. She lays for a couple more moments before returning to normal. She bats away the hoof and sits up and starts brushing the sand off of her. James brushes himself off as well and offers the hoof again. Octavia growls and accepts the offer.
Octavia starts brushing the sand from her coat. ‘Was all of that really necessary?’
‘We’ll share the treasure with you,’ James offers.
Octavia scowls in return. ‘You better, but for now, please just remove yourself from my beach until I can calm down.’
James sighs. ‘Okay, but we are just down the beach when you want to come looking for us.’ He starts heading toward the house and pats Inkie on the shoulder. ‘You get the cache. I’ll get Rei.’
James goes over and lifts Rei to his back. Octavia groans and goes back to the house. James and Inkie start trotting back down the beach with their respective loads.
‘Inkie’s back is really hairy,’ Rei is heard mumbling.
Octavia heads back into the house to get another drink. Vinyl sits at the bar and grins as her friend practices mixology.
‘So....’ Vinyl’s grin gets wider.
‘What?’ Octavia snaps.
‘I guess the earth moves when you two hook up.’
A splash of alcohol hits Vinyl in the face and covers her shades. Vinyl spins around on her stool and laughs to herself.
‘Shut up,’ Octavia growls. She looks into her empty glass. ‘And now you made me waste expensive booze too.’

Rarity is fretting in front of a mirror as she gets ready to head down to the beach. She wears a fancy bikini, but she levitates two others in front of her for comparison. Another guest trots by the room but stops and comes back.
‘Geez, Rarity!’ Rainbow Dash groans. ‘You’re never going to have any fun if you keep worrying about how you look.’
Rarity spins around. ‘Rainbow! You’re somewhat feminine when you need to be! You can help!’
Rainbow Dash cocks her head to the side. ‘Wait. Was that a compliment or an insult?’
‘Never mind who said what. More importantly, does this suit look good on me?’
Rainbow Dash almost rolls her eyes, but she smiles craftily. She enters Rarity’s room and starts looking her friend over.
‘I can’t really tell with your tail in the way.’
‘O-okay.’ Rarity lifts her tail as Rainbow Dash returns to her task. The unicorn bites her lip in anticipation of the verdict.
Rainbow Dash looks up. ‘Can you not watch me? You’re making me nervous.’
Rarity sighs. ‘Fine.’
She closes her eyes and waits for Rainbow Dash’s opinion. Rainbow Dash’s evil grin returns. She very carefully unties Rarity’s bottom. She takes the other bottoms and quietly slips out of the room before galloping away. Spike walks past, watching Rainbow dash. He peeks into the room, but he stops and stares.
‘Can I look yet?’ Rarity asks while looking back and opening an eye.
Rarity sees Spike standing in the doorway staring. She just stares back in shock. Stormy trots past, in the world of his music player. He glances in.
‘Hey, Rarity,’ Stormy greets as he passes. Must be Thursday...
Rarity snaps to her senses and covers herself. She wraps a towel around herself and gallops out of the room.
‘RAINBOW DASH!’
Spike remains frozen at the doorway.

A group has gathered as Inkie and James crack open their treasures. Octavia and Vinyl have come over to claim their share of the prize. Lyra is jumping up from the back of the pack to see the treasure. Inkie cracks the first sphere and starts taking out the contents. She gets out a bottle of liqueur.
‘Mine!’ Octavia snatches the bottle. She cradles it lovingly.

The others roll their eyes at Octavia’s behavior. Inkie removes the wrappings that protected the bottle. They turn out to be three deflated beach balls.
‘Why did they hide those?’ Inkie asks.
‘Heads up!’ Rei shouts.
A newly inflated beach ball bounces off of Stormy’s head.
Stormy groans. ‘Better question: who would give her something she could throw at somepony else?’
Another beach ball bounces off of Stormy’s head. Rei giggles and flies away as Stomy returns fire. Rainbow Dash watches the chase and joins in chasing both kids after Twilight passes her the other inflated beach ball. Inkie cracks the other sphere. The first item she takes out is a can of pineapple.
‘Ooo!’ James reaches for the can.
James’ hoof lands on the can, but another hoof lands right on top of his. She follows it up to look down at Octavia’s expression combining annoyance, pouting and (definitely not) longing. James sighs and surrenders his prize. Octavia smiles and takes her other prize. The last beach ball bounces off her head. Octavia quickly looks up for the culprit and finds Pinkie looking overly innocent. Inkie gets out the last items, a stack of CDs.
‘Well, that is it,’ Inkie states. ‘Just those calypso CDs. Who wants them?’
Everyone looks at Vinyl. She groans.
‘Ugh. I guess I can remix them once I get back to my laptop.’
The group starts dispersing. Octavia looks at her prizes then heads into the house to find some way to combine them. Twilight goes back to her book. Inkie, Lucas, and Spike gallop off to join Rei and Rainbow Dash while Stormy comes back to relative safety.
‘ALOHA!’ is shouted from down the beach.
Luna and a still-tired Trixie trot up the beach to their friends. Both are dressed for a day of swimming and tanning, though Trixie is wearing her usual cape and hat. Twilight briefly checks out the approaching mares then covers herself and curls into ball. James puts a comforting hoof on her shoulder. Luna marches up to the deck to greet her friends. Stormy blushes and tries not to look as Trixie steps up to him.
‘Good morning, dear Stormy.’ Trixie coos while giving Stormy a small hug.
Stormy blushes redder than his mane. ‘M-morning, Trixie.’
Trixie smirks. ‘I can tell you’re glad to see me.’
Stormy blushes even deeper. A beach ball comes out of nowhere and hits Trixie in the head, knocking off her wizard hat. She looks around and growls.
‘Sorry, Trixie!’ Rainbow Dash calls as she gallops down the beach, jumping over an incoming beach ball.
Another figure gallops down the beach from the same direction as Rainbow Dash.
‘LU~~~~~NA~~~~~~~~’ Rei shouts as she gallops down the beach, jumps to the deck, gallops across a table and tackles Luna in a big hug.
‘Trixie can’t believe she is actually jealous now,’ Trixie grumbles. She grabs Stormy’s hoof. ‘Come along. Let’s go somewhere more private.’
Trixie drags the lovestruck Stormy away as Luna frees herself from her affectionate follower.
‘Thank you for the affection, Rei. It pleases us,’ Luna says, patting Rei on the head. She turns to the rest of the guests. ‘It is great to see all of you again.’
‘Ditching your duties for another cruise, princess?’ Twilight shoots.
‘Hmpf! Nothing of the sort, Miss Sparkle.’ Luna tosses her mane over her shoulder and puffs out her chest, showing off the bikini top that matches crest she normally wears. ‘My sister took a short holiday last month. I am just doing the same now that her sunburns have healed enough for her to resume normal duties.’
‘She got a sunburn?’ James snorts loudly as he fails to contain a laugh. His hooves start typing rapidly. He looks up innocently. ‘What? I was not telling Twitter anything.’
Luna snorts. ‘Anyway, I also made sure that there were duties I could attend to in the city while I am here. I don’t want to be completely unproductive on this trip.’
‘We should totally have a big “welcome Luna” party later!’ Pinkie cheers.
‘That would be fun, Miss Pie.’ Luna nods toward Pinkie. ‘Since I will be attending to business on a couple days, perhaps some of you would enjoy seeing the city with me.’
‘Well, I am really curious as to the shopping in this area,’ Rarity muses. A beach ball bounces off the back of her head followed by a loud cackle. ‘RAINBOW DASH!’
Rarity gallops out to the beach and starts chasing her friend.
Luna smiles over at James. ‘James, I have a special offer for you.’ Fluttershy growls and glares. ‘You too, Fluttershy. Since I yet to properly congratulate the two of you on your marriage, may I treat the two of you to a show?’
Fluttershy hugs James’ neck. ‘Oh! A show would be lovely. We haven’t done one in so long.’
James raises a hoof. ‘When you say show...’
Fluttershy squeezes tight and growls. ‘Theater.’
James sighs. ‘Fine.’
‘You’re leaving your hoofhelds here, too.’ Luna adds.
‘I only did that once! Octy will vouch for me.’
Octavia stumbles out with a drink in her hoof. ‘I think that bottle stayed there a little too long.’
She tries to sit down at a table, but she falls right off the deck. Vinyl and Applejack rush to help her.
‘Also, my pineapple has sand in it.’ Octavia calls from the beach.

Trixie leads Stormy down the beach. She holds his hoof as they trot. Stormy is trying to look forward but he cannot help but glance at the mare he loves.
Trixie sighs. ‘Stormy, have I said how great it is to see you again?’
‘I am pretty sure you have.’
‘Oh Stormy...’ Trixie rests her head on Stormy’s shoulder.
‘Something wrong, Trixie?’
Trixie stops and turns toward Stormy. He stops and looks down to her frowning face. She stares up, tracing the scar on his horn to avoid eye contact.
‘It is just that...’ Trixie begins.
‘What?’
‘It is just that I would love to take our relationship further, but I am afraid of the societal backlash.’
‘You mean like sex?’
Trixie laughs. ‘No. Not that. I mean, it is odd for a couple with our age difference to be dating. I am nervous to go out to more public locales for dates because people will judge us.’
Stormy smiles. ‘Is that all?’ Trixie opens her mouth to argue. ‘Who cares what everypony else thinks? We’re in love and that is all that really matters to me. If somepony is going to judge us for being happy, then screw them. We’re happy.’
Trixie shakes her head. ‘Stormy, the ever practical-minded.’
‘Besides, the Soufflé family has a history of dating older people. My grandmother is ten years younger than my grandfather. My mom’s first love was more than twice her age.’ Stormy looks around nervously. ‘Don’t tell anypony, but I was named after him according to her old diary.’ Which is why I can never by a new video game again...
‘You are so cute when embarrassed.’ Trixie gives Stormy a quick peck. ‘Have you considered what I said last night?’
‘About staying over? I don’t know...’
Trixie gives Stormy a longer kiss. ‘I can make it very worth your while.’
‘Then how can I say “no”?’
Trixie giggles and grabs Stormy around the neck before giving him another kiss.

Pinkie is working in the kitchen for the party in the evening. She is the only one in the kitchen and is running a number of stoves and ovens at once. A door opens from the deck.
‘No peeking until everything is ready~!’ Pinkie calls.
‘Just getting a soda,’ James calls back. ‘Luna seems to not get any at the palace.’
A Royal Canterlot Voice-enhanced belch shakes the windows.
‘The fun has been doubled!’ is shouted from outside.
James shakes his head. ‘You can really tell the family resemblance.’
Pinkie looks at James. ‘I don’t think Celestia ever behaved like that.’
James thinks. ‘Oh. That makes sense too! Good observation.’
Pinkie is confused, but she shakes it off. ‘Anyway! Out. Out. Out! I have top-secret baking to do.’
James scans the room and sniffs the air. He points to an oven. ‘Strawberry cupcakes.’ He points to another oven. ‘Triple layer super fudge cake.’ He points to a stove. ‘Top secret filling for Cherrychangas and less secret filling for Chimicherries.’ He points to another stove. ‘And semi-sweet chocolate for dipping.’ He turns back. ‘Correct?’
Pinkie throws herself at James and gives him a big kiss. Once she forces him into a wall, she breaks the kiss and stares up at him.
‘Marry me,’ Pinkie says.
‘Well, but technically...’
‘I don’t care. Ours can be real.’
‘But Fluttershy thinks...’
Pinkie pouts. ‘But Pinkie thinks you shouldn’t play into her fantasies anymore and make her come back to reality.’
‘And who did I spend a week calling “Mahou Shoujo Pinkie” after a marathon session of Nanoha?’
Pinkie hits James over the head with a crescent-shaped wand. ‘That is “Magical Lyrical Pinkie,” got it?’
‘I should have never gotten you that.’
‘Want me to kiss it and make it better?’ Pinkie grins.
‘You’re going to miss and hit my lips if I say yes, right?’
Pinkie grins wider. ‘Only one way to find out!’
James kisses Pinkie on the forehead. ‘You are so cute.’
James takes his drink and heads out. Pinkie sighs and gets back to work.

Vinyl wakes in the middle of the night to use the washroom. On her way back to her room, her sensitive ears hear music coming from downstairs. She follows the music to a full, professional recording studio. Inside, Octavia is playing her cello while in her pajamas, completely unawares of the audience. She finishes her song and looks up to see Vinyl’s grinning face from the control room. Octavia blushes and exits the recording booth and joins Vinyl in the control room.
‘You gonna play me a lullaby?’ Vinyl beams.
‘B-baka,’ Octavia stutters. ‘I was just getting some late night practice.’
Vinyl laughs. ‘Right. Hey, I might not be that big on classical, but I don’t recognize that piece. What is it called?’
Octavia blushes even more. ‘Oh! It was an original I have been working on for a while.’
‘Yeah? What are you calling it?’
‘...’ Octavia mumbles.
‘Speak up.’
‘The Art and Science of Wandering...’ the cellist whispers.
‘Huh?’ Vinyl’s grin somehow grins wider.
Octavia fidgets. She rubs one foreleg with the other and looks away. Vinyl swings a boom mic over Octavia and turns the output volume to eleven.
‘THE ART AND SCIENCE OF WANDERING!’ comes over the speakers.
Octavia turns bright red all over. Vinyl busts out laughing.
‘Sh-shut up!’ Octavia yells.
Vinyl calms down. ‘You have to be the only one that hasn’t just come out and said it.’
Octavia fidgets more. ‘He-he-he has that pink-maned one who apparently married him. It-it would be weird and wrong.’
Vinyl shrugs. ‘It is what? Seven-to-one? Ten-to-one? Wanna survive as a species right?’
Octavia pushes Vinyl. ‘Shut up! I don’t think about such things!’
Vinyl laughs the leans up and kisses Octavia on the forehead. ‘You’re still such a silly kid.’ She kisses Octavia on the nose. ‘And that is why I love you.’
Vinyl trots away leaving the very embarrassed Octavia to collect her emotions.
‘I’m wearing your underwear again, by the way!’ Vinyl calls back while snapping her panties.

The doors to Trixie’s villa open wide early in the morning. An older, dark-teal unicorn mare with a dark-silver mane steps in and looks around. A pair of servants follow her in.
‘Why Trixie would deny any help...’ The mare grumbles. She looks at her servants. ‘Come. Let’s get breakfast started. That better make me look like a good mother.’
The Mysterious and Alluring Amelia leads the servants to the kitchen. She throws the door open and stops in her tracks instantly. Luna sits on the counter in her pajamas, eating a bowl of cereal. Both mares freeze and stare at each other.
‘Princess Luna!’ Amelia shouts.
‘Uh. Hey.’ Luna greets.
‘What are you doing here?’
‘Uh... Just visiting a friend staying next door.’
‘Is my daughter about?’
‘She should still be in her room. She was up pretty late last night.’
‘Probably just being lazy again.’ Amelia grumbles. ‘My servants will start a breakfast if you are willing to join us.’
‘Sure...’
‘Good. I will return with my daughter shortly.’
‘Wait! Hold on!’ Luna shouts.
Amelia does not hear as she marches away. She heads upstairs and down a hall. She stops in front of a door and pushes it open. She groans at a lump in a bed but collects herself.
‘Trixie? Little Trixie? Time to get up,’ Amelia coos.
Trixie groans. ‘What?’
Trixie raises, rump first, but she quickly covers herself with her blanket. Amelia’s eyes go wide after her daughter briefly flashes her, but she holds back her yelling.
‘Well. I was not expecting that! Anyway, I have breakfast being made downstairs. Please be presentable by then.’
There is another moan from the bed. Stormy sits up and kisses Trixie on the cheek.
‘Morning.’
Amelia’s anger boils over, and she screams. Down the beach, the early-rising Twilight looks up from her breakfast and book at the strange sound.
‘Downstairs! Now!’ Amelia yells.
Amelia storm out of the room, shouting to herself. Trixie bites her lip and whimpers.
‘She took it better than I expect Rarity will,’ Stormy shrugs.

Amelia has gathered Trixie and Stormy in one of the lounges. The couple is sitting next to each other while Amelia paces in front of them. Luna forced her way in and is sitting off to the side. Trixie has her head down in shame while Stormy has his usual nonplussed aura around him.
‘I can’t believe I caught my own daughter doing that! Let alone doing that with somepony that young! You are a disgrace to the family!’
Trixie regains her composure and stands. ‘ME! A disgrace! That is a laugh. Have you looked in the mirror lately?’
‘I am not the one having sex with foals!’ Amelia shrieks back.
‘He is more of an adult that you are!’ Trixie screams in retort.
‘I am your mother! You will not speak to me this way!’
‘Some mother you are! I don’t see you for over a year until you decide to pop in during my holiday! You only spoke to me once in the past six months and that was to barely warn me about your stupid brother!’
‘And this is how you repay me? By screwing some little cabana colt?’
‘His name is Stormy, and I love him!’ Trixie screams as loud as she can.
The two unicorns glare at each other, their horns glowing. A powerful energy builds between the two of them. Luna looks back and forth between the two arguing mares. Stormy raises his hoof.
‘May I say something?’
Amelia turns and growls.
‘Right.’ Stormy rolls his eyes. ‘So this whole mess is about some stupid physical act? I think you are overlooking the big picture.’
‘Great. An opinion from some angsty, emo youth. You really know how to pick them.’
‘Shut up.’ Stormy groans. ‘I may not have much experience with them, but I would think a mother would want her child to be happy. So we did a physical act that society frowns on. So I am several years younger than Trixie. I really don’t see what the big deal is.’
‘The big deal is that my idiot daughter committed a crime!’
‘More importantly, she loves me, and I love her. Isn’t that what we should be considering here? In all honesty, I don’t see what the big deal is about sex.’ He turns to Trixie. ‘No offense. I just...’
Trixie comes over and sits beside Stormy on his chair. ‘Shh. Its okay. I understand.’
‘He has a point.’
Everypony looks over to Luna. She is leaning back in a chair. Her hooves are tented and she looks much older than she had only moments ago. She looks up above her glasses and leans forward.
‘The physical act is truly meaningless in this case; well, in a sense. A thousand years ago, he would be a sire by now. Now... Well, legally there was a wrong, but I don’t mind taking some political heat for pardoning a friend if it comes to court. As for the emotional act, I just see two people in love. If you are going to persecute your daughter for being happy, then you’re the real villain of this whole affair for not being able to accept your daughter for who she is.’ Luna sighs and shrugs. ‘And from what I have seen since my return, that seems to be a running theme with all but the youngest generation of your family.’
Amelia frowns and looks away. She sighs and shakes her head.
‘I came out here to get to know my daughter better. All I have done is to alienate her further. I overreacted. I may not like or agree with what I have seen.’ She shudders then sighs. ‘But she is my daughter. And I love her. Whatever makes her happy. I just have to get to know her better.’
‘Mother...’
Trixie gets up and hugs her mom. Amelia smiles and returns the hug.
Luna grins. ‘Good. I am glad we reached a happy agreement.’ She springs up and instantly regains her youthful appearance. ‘Now! I had your staff switch over to making waffles. Waffles are so much better. So yummy.’
Luna hops up and prances out the door. Stormy shrugs and gets up too. Trixie grabs his foreleg and pulls him over.
‘Mother, I would like you to meet Stormy,’ Trixie says.
‘Can’t we do this after breakfast?’ Stormy moans.
‘Agreed,’ Amelia groans. ‘I will need a lot of coffee to get through this.’
Trixie rolls her eyes. ‘Don’t you mean whiskey?’
‘Don’t start that now.’ Amelia sighs. ‘You sound like your tenth birthday party again.’
The two mares glare at each other.
‘I’m going to breakfast.’ Stormy trots out of the room. ‘Join us when you’re done fighting.’
Trixie and Amelia look at each other. They both snort and march out of the room in a huff, getting stuck at the door when they both try leaving at once.

Octavia makes her way to the nearest washroom after getting up. She overslept a little thanks to her late night. She locks the door behind her.
Vinyl passes her friend on her way to find breakfast. She screams from the kitchen then quickly gallops back to find her friend. She trips on a rug and faceplants outside the washroom. She picks herself up and starts pounding on the door.
‘Tavi! There is somepony in the house!’ Vinyl shouts. ‘Save me, Tavi!’
After a few moments of silence, there is a flush followed shortly by a sink running. The door opens and a cello bow is shoved into Vinyl’s throat. At the other end of the bow, Octavia seething.
‘Vinyl. What is my number one rule about privacy in my house?’
‘Uh? Not talking to you when you’re in the washroom?’
‘And you just?’
‘Oh!’
‘Good. Now go away until I am refreshed and showered.’
‘But...’
‘Be nice to Silver, and she won’t hurt you... too much.’ Octavia turns and slams the door in Vinyl’s face.
The sounds of a shower being started are heard.
Vinyl stares at the door in shock. ‘Now Tavi scared me so much I have to use the room too...’

James yawns and groans when he enters the dining room late in the morning. He looks around the room at everypony still sitting around and chatting.
‘Why is everypony up so bloody early around here?’
‘You’re up now too, boss,’ Lucas replies.
‘Last one, at that,’ Twilight comments from behind her book.
James checks his mobile. ‘Yes. Big loss there. Sunrises, thieves and romantic entanglements.’
Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie all look over at James and sigh. He adjusts his glasses and looks back as his mobile.
‘Anyway! How’s the day so far?’
‘Actually, boss...’ Lucas begins. ‘Think I can trade rooms with somepony?’
‘I’ll do it!’ Fluttershy springs up. She blushes. ‘I mean. I am his...’
James taps his mobile. ‘Well, if Stormy is staying with his fillyfriend’s family, then you can take his room and Flutters can bunk with me like back home.’
Fluttershy squeals and gets up to move her things.
‘Don’t just dump everything.’ James warns.
Fluttershy pouts then continues out of the room. Rarity sighs and takes a sip of coffee.
‘Oh well. I guess that can’t be stopped... Wait. What was that about Stormy?’
James taps a button to forward the message. ‘Seems he is shaking up with Trixie.’ He smirks. ‘Probably in more than one meaning.’
Everypony looks at James questioningly, except Rarity, who swoons in her chair.
‘Oh dear Stormy! Growing up and getting ready to leave poor Rarity. I knew this day would come, but it is too soon. Whatever will become of poor Rarity!’
Everypony groans at Rarity’s melodrama.
‘I’ll never leave you,’ Spike speaks up.
‘My lovely Spiky wiky!’ Rarity gets up and hugs Spike close. ‘My lovely little Spike wiky! He will never leave me!’
Spike goes limp as Rarity’s hug shoves Spike’s face into her chest. Twilight groans at her assistant’s behavior.

Everyone is out of the beach in the mid-afternoon. James is buried in his laptop. Twilight is buried in a book. Fluttershy sips a drink as she sits in the shade behind James. Spike is out in the ocean splashing around. Lyra and Bon Bon are sunbathing. Lyra snores from where she has fallen asleep. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie are burying Rarity in the sand as the other mare looks on and critiques. Down the beach, Applejack, Inkie and Lucas are all playing volleyball against Rei. They are exhausted from trying to keep up with Rei who has not even broken a sweat. Rei grins and waits for Applejack to serve the ball. The ball goes up as does Rei. The young pegasus spikes the ball right into Lucas’ face. He falls flat on the ground as the ball rolls off to the side.
‘Damn it, Rei!’ Applejack shouts. ‘How many times do Ah have t’ tell ya not t’ do that?’
‘Rei. Play fair,’ James mumbles.
‘What?’ Twilight asks.
Lyra snorts and rolls over, revealing a pristine stomach free of tanning.
Rarity tries getting a view of what her friends are doing. ‘Okay, Rainbow Dash. A little more.... Okay. That will have to do. Pinkie please be more gen... Never mind. Watch the mane! Watch the mane! … Are we done?’
Pinkie drops one last bucket of sand and flattens it out. ‘All done!’
Rainbow Dash laughs. ‘You looks great.’
Rarity tries to get a view of her body. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash have shaped the sand sculpture to appear like a larger version of Rarity’s body. The friends take in the sculpture.
‘Looks nice,’ Rarity comments. She tries moving. ‘A little snug though.’
‘Don’t worry. You’ll have fun,’ Pinkie prances away.
‘Yeah. Fun.’ Rainbow Dash laughs.
Rainbow Dash plants a sign in the ground by Rarity’s legs and tail. It is facing away from Rarity. The pegasus flies off to join her friends. Rarity looks around, trying to see the sign.
‘What does it say? What does it say!’
Spike comes out of the water. He sees the sign and freezes in his tracks.
‘Um. Little help, Spiky Wiky?’
Spike just stares at the sign. There is a loud thud and a volleyball bounces down the beach.
‘Damn it, Rei!’
Applejack jogs over and picks up the volleyball. She stops to look at the sign. She rolls her eyes and goes over to Rarity. Applejack reaches under the sand and pulls Rarity up.
‘Thank you, fair Applejack.’
‘Jus’ don’ hurt her t’ badly.’
Applejack jogs down the beach to her game. Rarity goes over to the sign. She turns bright red with embarrassment and anger.
‘RAINBOW DASH!’
Rarity gallops off to hunt down her friend. Spike is left staring at the sign. On it is an arrow pointing under the sculpture’s tail, and it reads ‘Free admission’.

Octavia, Vinyl and Silver Fox are sitting around one of Octavia’s music listening rooms catching up about recent events. Vinyl still looks nervous about the new stranger. Silver gets up and stretches.
‘I have to hit the washroom. Back in a sec.’
Silver trots away. Vinyl quickly gets up and moves next to Octavia.
‘Are you sure it is safe? I mean, she just showed up,’ Vinyl worries.
‘She’s fine. Silver and I go way back.’
‘How did she get in? Aren’t you worried?’
Octavia looks over at Vinyl. ‘She does some work in the area. I let her stay here when she is in town if she needs to beat the heat. Nicer than the Heartstrings next door.’
‘To be fair, they did gold line way more of their house than they should,’ Silver comments as she returns.
‘I know.’ Octavia moans in agreement. ‘Can they get more posh?’
‘They are just asking for somepony to pinch it.’
‘Yeah. Like Lyra wouldn’t have your face plastered on every monitor around the world with a complete list of your aliases if you even tried. Not even Vulpe would get out of it.’
Silver sighs. ‘I guess that is true. Their security is so weak too!’
Vinyl stares at Silver. ‘I thought I recognized you. You’re that actress that worked with Tavi! Did you do something to your mane?’
Silver runs her hoof through her growing silver-grey mane. ‘I am trying to grow it out for a change. I think it will look nice.’
‘No... I mean the color is...’
Silver glares back. ‘It has always been this color.’
‘But...’
Octavia also glares. ‘It has always been that color,’ both mares warn.
Vinyl gets the idea and back down as a cello bow starts being drawn from behind Octavia. She rubs her eyes.
‘Must be my shades or something.’
Octavia nods in agreement. ‘Anyway, Silver, what are you doing out here? Big heist?’
Silver moans. ‘Hardly. I heard Luna was on holiday, and I figured her detail would be easier to crack than Celesita’s was. Then I ran into a little snag.’
Octavia laughs. ‘You saw who she is staying with.’
‘As if the Lunamoons weren’t bad enough, I have to get through them as well...’
‘Does she mean James and the others next door?’ Vinyl asks.
Octavia glances over to her friend before turning back to Silver. ‘At least your little fillyfriend is here. You can make some time with her.’
Silver smiles and blushes. ‘She is not my fillyfriend. She likes that other one with grey mane...’
‘Wait!’ Vinyl jumps up. ‘You were talking about sneaking after the princess! What are you going to do to Luna!’
A cello bow hooks Vinyl’s horn and pulls her down.
‘Silver is just here consulting with me for our next project. Got it?’ Octavia calmly states.
‘But she said...’
‘Got it!’
Vinyl nervously nods and sits back down. Octavia unhooks her bow, stands up and adjusts her mane.
‘Now, who wants a drink? I’m mixing.’

Inkie leads Rei up a small cliff at sunset. Rei is in awe as the two fillies trot through the beach grass. Inkie looks back and smiles at her friend. She stops by a large piece of driftwood.
‘This is beautiful,’ Rei says as she tries taking everything in.
Inkie smiles at her friend. ‘Yeah. It is.’
‘How did you find this place?’
‘Bon Bon told me about it while you and your dad were checking Lucas for a concussion.’
‘If he has one, he is so fired.’ Rei channels from her dad for a moment.
Inkie laughs. ‘Right. Come on, want to watch the sunset?’
Inkie sits on the driftwood and taps next to her. Rei hops over and sits next to her friend. After a few moments of silence, Inkie works up the nerve to put an foreleg across the shoulders of her shorter friend. Rei sighs contentedly and leans against her. Inkie looks over. She tries to say something but stops. Rei looks back to her friend.
‘Something wrong, Inkie-chan?’
Inkie quickly turns, takes Rei’s head in hooves and gives her a passionate kiss. The two girls fall off the driftwood before Inkie breaks the kiss. Inkie lets Rei up and looks like she is about to start crying. Rei stares up at her friend.
‘Inkie-chan...’
‘Please don’t be mad!’ Inkie begs. ‘I love you! I have loved you for a long time now! I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you... I’m sorry...’
‘I love you too, Inkie-chan.’
‘You... You love everypony...’
‘Yeah! I do love all of my close friends, but I love Inkie-chan the most! I can never love anypony more than I love my Inkie-chan!’
‘You mean it...’ Inkie squeaks.
Rei reaches up and pulls Inkie back down. ‘Inkie-chan dai suki.’
Rei pulls Inkie in for another kiss under the setting sun.

James is sitting on top of Lyra’s mansion beside a telescope. He is watching the stars above him as he sips a soda. There is a thump as somepony else lands on the roof. Luna retracts her wings and trots over to James. She lays down with her head in his lap and smiles up.
‘How do you like my night?’ Luna asks.
James takes his laptop out of sleep mode and points to the screen. A page of equations is displayed next to a star chart.
‘How do you like my physics?’
Luna pouts. ‘You can at least pretend. Discord always pretended.’
‘Yeah, but he was insane.’
‘James. Really? You using that argument?’
James sips his drink. ‘At this moment, who is crazier: the scientist watching the stars or the pony hitting on Fluttershy’s husband?’
Luna scowls and sits up. ‘I wish she would drop that charade. She is only hurting herself and her friends. It took too long to convince Twilight to share only to have you snatched up by somepony pretending to have mental issues.’
‘Be nice to her. She is really shy. She is afraid to assert herself lest her darker side comes forth again.’
Luna thinks. ‘For your sake, I hope it doesn’t. I know Rarity’s selection of late night activities.’ James opens his mouth. ‘And not just from our new house guest, no. If that is what normal Rarity is into, just imagine what New Fluttershy is into.’
‘Thankfully, she is too shy to try anything there either.’
‘She’s getting braver, or have you not noticed waking up on cleaner sheets than you went to bed on?’
James stares at Luna. Luna just smirks back. He turns away and looks to the stars.
‘Just pick one.’
Luna lays back down on James’ lap. She scans the heavens and points. ‘There.’
James looks. ‘Klom? Why did you have to pick Klom?’

Luna leads her housemates across the beach to a party being held to greet Amelia. Stormy follows the princess, but he keeps looking back at the bickering Trixie and Amelia.
‘This is stupid.’ Amelia grumbles. ‘Why should WE have to go over to visit the Heartstrings for a party for ME. If they had any class, they would come to us.’
‘Mother, it is not the Heartstrings staying there. They are my friends.’
‘Ugh. More ponies from that backwater town. I don’t know why you like spending so much time there.’
Trixie steps up and grabs Stormy’s foreleg. ‘Yes. It is a real mystery.’
‘You know, the original palace was in that area too,’ Luna states. ‘I probably grew up around there.’
Amelia snorts then goes silent for the rest of the trip. They come within view of Lyra’s mansion. The deck and beach are covered in decorations, thanks to Pinkie. Luna and Trixie wave as they approach. One of the hosts jumps from the deck and gallops out to greet the guests.
‘LU~~NA~~! TRIXIE~~~!’ Rei shouts as she quickly makes it down and leaps into Luna’s forelegs.
‘Always a pleasure, little one,’ Luna greets.
‘Good to see you too, Rei,’ Trixie smiles as she continues up the beach.
Rei looks behind Luna and sees Amelia.
‘Whoa. Trixie got rea~~lly o~~ld.’ Rei stares at the older woman.
‘Excuse me!’ Trixie and Amelia shout.
Luna drags the other mares towards the house, but Rei stops Stormy. She looks him up and down very carefully.
‘Uh... Can I help you?’ Stormy asks.
Rei finishes her examination and stares at Stormy’s face. Her eyes go wide with realization.
‘You had..!’
Stormy shoves a hoof into Rei’s mouth. ‘Don’t say it. Don’t tell anypony. Okay?’
Rei nods. Stormy sighs and removes his hoof from Rei’s mouth. She takes a deep breath.
‘What is it like? I mean, I know it is different for colts and fillies, and I sort of know what is like for...’
Stormy clasps Rei’s mouth shut again.
‘Yep. A lot worse than Trixie’s mom. Like I thought.’
On the deck, Trixie is introducing her mother to her friends. So far, Rarity is the only one that has been approved. The next one down the line is Twilight.
‘And this is...’ Trixie begins.
‘Twilight Sparkle. It is pleasure to see you again,’ Amelia greets.
‘Good to see you too, Amelia,’ Twilight replies. Though, it has only been a couple weeks for me...
‘You...’ Trixie’s eye twitches. ‘...know each other?’
‘Amelia is a friend of my mother. She used to visit all of the time,’ Twilight explains.
‘Yes, those were good times,’ Amelia reminisces. ‘I remember coming over with my foal and... she would torment the hell out another young filly. She got so many spankings.’
Trixie glares. ‘Forgive my mother. She tends to exaggerate.’
Twilight thinks. ‘I don’t really remember playing with many foals growing up other than my brother and Cadence.’

Lyra hears Twilight’s comment and frowns.
Amelia pats Twilight on the shoulder. ‘You’re such a good kid. Why couldn...’
‘Because I had a very demanding mother who loved to torment her children,’ Trixie snaps.
Trixie and Amelia exchange glares. Twilight takes a step back. James steps forward.
‘Sup? I’m The Wandering Physicist.’
Amelia looks over. ‘That is a stupid name. How much do you want for it? I can use it in a show.’
‘I’ll give it to you free if you start being a caring mother to Trixie.’
Amelia thinks. ‘That is too steep a price. Keep it, you silly stallion.’
James looks at Trixie and shrugs as he trots away. ‘I tried.’
‘James!’ Luna calls. ‘Don’t go too far! Remember your date with Fluttershy tonight.’
‘I know,’ James groans. ‘Where do you think she is?’
James heads back into the house as Luna sighs. She turns to Trixie.
‘I should be heading off to get ready too. I am their chaperone, after all.’
Luna starts trotting down the beach as two figures approach from the opposite direction.
‘Wait! That’s her!’ Silver shouts.
Silver starts galloping to catch Luna, but she is tackled to the sand. Rei gives Silver a big hug and sniffs her mane deeply.
‘You should dye your mane more often. I love the smell of fresh flowers.’
The statement gets a groan from Silver as she watches her chance to catch the princess trot away, and the line gets Inkie to mess with and sniff her mane.
‘Sorry we’re late!’ Vinyl greets. ‘Tavi was tapped for a big show tonight, and we had to see her off.’
Amelia sighs. ‘Great, more of my daughter’s uncivilized friends.’
Silver forces herself free and takes one last look at Rei. ‘I, madam, am not uncivilized. I am just defensive of my personal space.’
‘You’re!’ Amelia gasps.
‘Indeed~’ Silver sings.
‘No. You can’t be. Your mane is all wrong.’
‘I’m growing it out!’ Silver snaps.
Rei sits in the sand. ‘I like you better when you leave your mane its natural color.’
‘R-really?’ Silver stutters. ‘Never mind. You are but one fan. I am sure my audience will appreciate my beauty no matter what.’
‘Yeah. It is not like Rei has a thing for girls with grey manes or anything.’
Inkie shoots Lucas a really hurt look. He avoids it by turning to the hateful glare he earned from Trixie when they were trapped in the illusion together. She is twirling a strand of silver mane as she stares. Lucas just groans and finds a place to make himself unnoticed.
Amelia looks around and sighs. ‘Can we get this party over with?’
Pinkie snaps a party hat on Amelia’s head and blows a noise maker. The older mare cringes.
‘At least it wasn’t a vuvuzela...’
‘Oh! I have one of those too!’
Pinkie gets out a vuvuzela and gives it a big blow, letting the noise ring out across the beach. All of the party patrons cover their ears. Somewhere in the city, Octavia’s soul dies a little.

James and Fluttershy follow an usher to their private box at the theater. James is in a full tuxedo, and Fluttershy even got him to comb his mane. Fluttershy is wearing her mane up and a tight, revealing dress covered in jewels, obviously a Rarity design. She is drawing a lot of stares, but she is happy showing off for the night. The usher pulls back a curtain to reveal the box overlooking the stage. Once the couple is settled, the usher leaves them alone. James sighs and tries finding which pocket hides his mobile.
‘I thought I told you to leave that off?’ Fluttershy huffs.
‘I will. I just want to get some shots of the theater.’ James looks over and smiles. ‘And a few more of you.’
Fluttershy blushes. ‘James... At this rate, you will have more pictures of me tonight than in my whole fashion career.’
‘Do you have any of those photos still?’
‘Yes. In a box. Guarded by Angel Bunny.’
‘So... No pictures? Dang.’
Fluttershy giggles. James find his mobile, but his 3DS drops out of his pocket as well. Fluttershy’s hoof is the first to grab it.
‘What is this?’ Fluttershy glares.
‘Well, uh...’
Fluttershy locks The Stare at full power. ‘You are not going to play a game during the show, got it?’
‘But it is so boring!’ James moans. ‘And I have to catch them all again.’
Fluttershy backs down and scowls as she comes up with a new tactic. She gets a sly smile and leans in close.
‘How about this...’ Fluttershy smirks. ‘You don’t play any games or use your mobile or fall asleep once, and I’ll treat you to something very special when we get back to our room.’ She leans in, running a hoof up his hind leg, and kisses him. ‘I also might almost sorta maybe kinda be probably ready, too.’
James gives a small, hopeful whine.
‘I take that as agreement.’
Fluttershy kisses James again and sits back in her seat.

Fluttershy and Luna are talking about the show on their ride back from the city. Luna is also in a fancy dress, but it is more conservative, given her position.
‘It was just a lovely show. I have a wonderful time.’ Fluttershy says.
‘I am glad you liked it.’ Luna smiles. ‘I was hoping to get a chance to see it outside of the capital. I needed a change of players.’
‘Thank you ever so much for treating us.’
‘It was my pleasure. I was surprised to see James actually watching for once.’
‘Well, we had a little deal...’ Fluttershy looks over at a sleeping James. ‘But I guess he is less than enthusiastic on collecting.’
‘That’s too bad,’ Luna comforts. For you. Ha!

Back at Lyra’s mansion, Fluttershy is in Rarity’s room pacing. Rarity is combing her mane to get ready for bed.
‘I can’t believe it. He fell asleep on the ride home. It is just so...’ Fluttershy stops and shakes with anger.
‘You should have expected that, darling,’ Rarity replies. ‘You know how easily he gets bored at high culture events. Remember that I had to pay out ten bounties to my models for every time I had them kick him during my fashion show last year.’
‘I was almost sorta maybe kinda probably ready, too...’ Fluttershy pouts.
‘And that is a problem how?’ Rarity asks.
‘What do you mean?’
‘He is a stallion, darling. It is not like he is going to complain if you start before him. Just as long as the job gets done.’ Rarity sighs. ‘Although the good ones usually try to wait for you too...’
Fluttershy blushes bright red. ‘Are you saying...’
‘Don’t tell me the thought hasn’t crossed your mind.’ Fluttershy looks away, and Rarity grins. ‘Well, well, well. Our little Fluttershy.’ She laughs. ‘Anyway. You either go for it or you don’t. You just have to be mare enough to do what the stallion cannot.’ She settles into her bed. ‘Be a dear and get the lights. Thanks~!’
Fluttershy stands and thinks for a moment before trotting out of the room and turning off the lights.

Fluttershy is back in her room. James sleeps on their bed, where he ended up after getting back from the theater. Fluttershy watches James nervously. She closes her eyes and thinks. After a moment, she stomps her hooves and nods. She takes a few deep breaths and turns off the lights before climbing under the covers. She climbs over James and stares into his sleeping face. She takes a few deep breaths before kissing James. Getting no reaction, she changes tack and reaches a hoof down his body very slowly while trying another kiss. Her movement stops sharply and her eyes go wide.
‘Oh. My,’ Fluttershy gasps.
‘Wha?’ James moans as he wakes up.
Fluttershy blushes bright red.
‘Fluttershy? Is your hoof...’
Fluttershy locks another big kiss on James. When she breaks the kiss, she smiles. ‘I hope you are almost sorta maybe kinda probably ready now, too.’

The next morning, Rarity yawns in an unladylike fashion and stretches as she makes her way to the kitchen. She encounters Fluttershy heading the other direction with a large grin on her face.
‘Well, well, well,’ Rarity grins. ‘Looks like somepony is in a good mood this morning. You are positively glowing.’
Fluttershy giggles. ‘I had a fun time last night.’
‘Oh? Was it... nice?’
Fluttershy blushes and leans in to her friend. ‘Actually, it was great.’
The mares head off to gossip. Inside the kitchen, James is looking miserable and just staring at a cup of coffee. Rei calmly trots in and starts digging through the cupboards. She stops when she notices something amiss. Her father is up before her! She quickly rushes to a window.
‘Aw! No fire and brimstone falling from the sky,’ Rei pouts. ‘Worst apocalypse ever.’
‘I just had a long night. Don’t look too much into it.’
‘Doing what?’
Rei looks at her father. He yawns and takes a sip from his coffee. Rei gasps.
‘Oh my Luna! You and Fluttershy fu...’
James clasps Rei’s mouth shut. ‘Don’t talk like that, or I’ll arrange more lessons with Rarity when we get back.’
‘But you and Fluttershy had sex, right!’
‘How come you are the only pony I know that is obsessed with that?’
Rei blushes. ‘I am just curious. That is all. I mean, I am old enough to...’
James grimaces. ‘As long as I am alive, you will never be old enough.’
Rei does some quick math. Given his current age, the age rate of his race, how many regenerations he has left.... OH NO! Rei-chan will never have sex at this rate!
Good. James thinks as he has more coffee.
James looks over at Rei. She looks like she is about to cry. Like it or not, she is just too immature to handle it yet. There has to be another... James gets an evil grin.
‘Fine, you want to hear about it. I can arrange a time where you can ask all about it.’
‘Really?’
‘Yep. Every question. I’ll ask Lyra for a private study this afternoon. You bring something with your questions, and I will make sure all of them and more are answered for you.’
‘Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!’ Rei hugs her dad and kisses him on the cheek. ‘You’re the best daddy ever!’
Rei gallops away to tell her friends.
‘Oh, we’ll see about that’ James laughs.

Stormy plays a hoofheld device in a lounge. Amelia trots into the room and looks around.
‘Mr Stormy. Have you seen my daughter?’
‘Oh. She and your servants went shopping. She wanted to get something special for dinner.’
‘Damn. I wanted to thank her for those lovely scones we had at breakfast.’
‘Check the flank lately?’ Stormy pats his right side. ‘All me.’
‘Fine, then you have my praise.’
‘Whatevs.’
Amelia goes over and sits by Stormy. ‘Is everything okay?’
Stormy closes his game. ‘Why do you think I am upset?’
‘You just seem...’
‘In the past fifteen years of my life, I have lost my mother then was psychologically tormented by a pony pretending to be my father who then cracked my horn. I have nothing to be bitter about at all.’
‘Stormy... You really are more adult than you appear.’
‘That’s what Trixie said, too.’
Amelia’s eye twitches. ‘I thought I said not to mention that again.’
‘She and I have been sharing a bed regardless of what goes on in it. Also, does she get the snoring from you or her father?’
‘With a sass mouth like that, it is no surprise she likes you. You were made for each other.’
Stormy opens his game again. ‘Why do you two hate each other so much?’
Amelia cringes. ‘I wouldn’t say we hate each other. We just don’t get along well.’
‘Did you kill her cat or something?’
Amelia leans back and sighs. ‘Something much worse: I raised her. I did everything I thought was right except be there for her when she needed me most. Everything was handled by servants.’
‘Basically... you weren’t there until you called her about her uncle.’
‘Yes... After talking with my friends, I really hoped to mend fences. It seems all I am good at is business.’
‘You can be so melodramatic, mother.’
Amelia looks up to see Trixie standing at the doorway. Trixie sighs and shrugs. She comes over and sits on Stormy’s lap, causing him to adjust how he plays.
‘As bad an example as you were as a parent, you did teach me to be self-sufficient and confident. I mean, I am great and powerful after all.’ Trixie leans up and kisses Stormy who half-heartedly kisses back as he focuses on his game. ‘Though I am willing to share that title with my adorable Stormy.’
‘Please stop talking about that,’ Amelia moans.

‘Please stop talking about that,’ Inkie moans.
‘But it is going to be so fun and informative!’ Rei cheers. ‘I thought you liked informative things.’
Inkie blushes bright red. ‘I do. I am just not ready to learn about that stuff.’
‘But you are older than I am.’ Rei protests. ‘You should be more ready than me, and I am!’
‘I, I just need more time to mature.’
Inkie gives a loud shriek as Rei’s wing grabs below her belly. Rei looks down as her other wing grabs below her own belly as well.
‘No. You seem more mature than me... unfortunately...’
Inkie shakes her head and removes her friend’s wing. ‘If that is what you really think, then you will be in for a bit of a shock. Have fun with your talk.’
Rei shrugs then heads off to find her father. She finds James leaning against a desk in a secluded study. Rei beams and finds a place to sit.
‘Right on time,’ James greets.
‘So what’s it like?’ Rei blurts out.
‘Patience. Do you have your list of questions?’
Rei gets out a notebook. James looks through it and flips through several pages. He nods and sets it on the desk.
‘Good. I’ll leave you to it.’
James starts trotting out of the room.
‘Wait. Where are you going?’ Rei asks. ‘I thought we were going to talk.’
‘Oh. I said you were going to get all of your questions answered, but I never said I would be the one answering them.’
‘Then who?’
The chair swivels at the desk. Rarity tents her hooves and grins evilly at her new old student.
‘This is going to be fun,’ Rarity laughs.
‘Now, play nice,’ James says. ‘I’ll be back in a while. Octy had something she wanted to share with me. Peace!’
James leaves the room. The sound of a sonic screwdriver is heard. Rei turns back to Rarity and whines.
‘Oh, don’t be that way. Come close. I am prepared to talk with you about anything.’ Rarity gets out her laptop. ‘Now, I brought a few videos from my private collection... just in case I got bored of course. Let’s find a good one!’
Rei whines and moves to watch the video Rarity has opened.
Rarity points to the screen. ‘Now, you see what I am about to do here is...’

Octavia is playing her ‘The Art and Science of Wandering’ in the recording booth as James watches from the control room. He awed by the performance. Octavia finishes her song and takes a bow. James claps, causing Octavia blush and fumble her bow.
‘Thank you. I am glad you liked that,’ Octavia mumbles.
‘That was great,’ James cheers. ‘You are quite the beautiful songwriter.’
‘Was that adjective for me or my songwriting..?’ The embarrassed mare whispers.
‘What was that?’
‘Nothing. How did you know it was an original?’
‘Not many pure cello compositions out there. What did you write it for?’
‘...’ Octavia mumbles.
James rolls his eyes and maxes out all of the microphones with his sonic. ‘Once more with feeling.’
Octavia takes a deep breath and shouts. ‘I WROTE IT FOR YOU!’
A speaker blows out behind James. Out on the beach, a sunbathing Vinyl looks back at the house and smirks. As James’ hearing returns, Octavia comes out of the booth. She looks down and holds her left foreleg with her right.
‘I’m sorry,’ Octavia mumbles.
‘Down the hall to the left,’ James replies.
‘Baka...’
James trots over and gives Octavia a hug. ‘Thank you for the very sweet song.’
‘It was nothing...’
‘It was your way of saying...’
‘No it wasn’t...’
James shakes his head. ‘You’re so much like your mother. Acting like a fool for the guy you like.’
‘My mother would ne...’
‘When she met your father, she trotted right into the orchestra pit without looking. When your he asked her out the first time, she left her violin at the theater when she ran home to get ready for her date.’
‘She would never part with her violin! It was given to her by a dear friend!’ Octavia shouts. ‘And how do you know about that anyway? You never met her.’
‘Her violin is named Fragola. After her friend.’
Octavia’s eyes go wide. She smiles. ‘Baka.’
Octavia jumps and knocks James to the ground to kiss him. She smiles as she eases up.
‘You are good for a first kiss.’
James stands. ‘Does that mean you’ll stop sneaking into my house and doing that?’
Octavia blushes. ‘You knew?’
‘You are the only pony who knows the outside of my house better than Lyra, and that is really saying something.’
‘Guess I am the baka this time.’
James kisses Octavia on the forehead. ‘And a very cute one at that.’
‘Ba...’
James starts leaving the room. ‘Too bad you’re the same age as my daughter.’
Octavia’s eye twitches. ‘BAKA!’
Octavia turns and throws a cello bow straight through the door. A scream is heard.
‘Great shot! … Now can you help me get free?’

Rei sits on the deck of Lyra’s mansion. She stares over the ocean. Inkie and Lucas are looking at their friend.
‘What happened to her?’ Lucas asks.
Inkie blushes. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Whatcha all lookin’ at?’ Applejack asks as she trots out.
‘We lost Rei,’ Lucas replies.
Applejack puts her hat on Rei and waves a hoof in front of the filly’s face.
‘Heh, heh. That’s purdy neat. Ah gotta know how t’ do that in a pinch.’
Inkie turns bright red and squeaks, ‘You don’t want to know. Trust me.’

Later in the evening, Pinkie is throwing one last party for the last night before they head home. All of the guests from the three houses are celebrating, except Rei who is still staring into the sea. Above the party, Lyra and Bon Bon are watching their friends.
‘It was great having them here, wasn’t it?’ Bon Bon says.
‘Very much so. So many bikinis,’ Lyra grins.
‘Lyra!’
‘You started it.’
‘Right... Still...’
Lyra pours the pair a drink and sits with Bon Bon overlooking the beach. Bon Bon takes the drink and sighs.
‘Sort of makes me think, what if they were ours.’
‘So... You’re saying we should learn mind control?’
‘No! I mean, what if we had foals of our own?’
‘Adopt or otherwise?’
Bon Bon sighs. ‘I know adoption is always a viable option, but sometimes... I mean, the science is advanced enough.’
Lyra smiles at her wife. ‘We can always talk about it more when we get home. Let’s just have some fun for now.’
Bon Bon smiles back. ‘Okay.’ She thinks for a moment. ‘If we were to try... that way, who should we consider as a father?’
Lyra looks down at the beach. ‘I might have somepony in mind.’
‘You really like him, don’t you? Even though he is a him. Why is that?’
Lyra sits back and sighs. She laughs. ‘It goes back twenty-three years six months and ten days. Rounded up.’
Bon Bon does the math in her head. ‘That would have been weeks after you were born!’
Lyra smiles and nods. ‘Bon Bon, let me tell you a story about my first foalsitters...’

Early in the morning, Lyra trots down the hall outside the bedrooms, banging a pot with a spoon with her magic.
‘All right everypony! Airship leaves in a few hours! You don’t have to go home, but ya can’t stay here!’ She leans out a window at the end of the hall. ‘Got that, kid!’
Rei looks up and waves. Rainbow Dash comes out of a washroom messing with her mane. She grumbles to herself while she dries it. Rarity trots up and looks at her friend quizzically.
‘Rainbow Dash, are you okay?’
‘Rarity? Right. I wanted to get all cleaned up before the flight, but I just can’t seem to get all the sand out of my mane.’
‘Is that all? Here, let me help.’
Rarity reaches for Rainbow Dash’s mane, but the other mare backs off.
‘You’re not... going to get back at me for all of the pranks?’
Rarity laughs. ‘Rainbow Dash. You know me better than that. I am a lady. A lady would never stoop to such a petty act.’
‘Okay...’
‘Good!’ Rarity pulls Rainbow Dash into the washroom. ‘Just relax and leave everything to Lady Rarity.’

A door opens to one of the bedrooms. James sticks his head out and looks around, but he is missing his glasses. He checks the hall again and steps out. Twilight steps out a moment later while adjusting her mane. She is wearing James’ glasses.
‘Looks like we’re clear.’ James says.
James leans in and quickly kisses Twilight. He starts leaving, but Twilight catches him.
‘Glasses.’
Twilight switches the glasses from her face to his. They kiss again before galloping off to their rooms to finish packing.

Trixie and Stormy are packing in their room. Amelia stands outside watching.
‘Are you really sure you have to leave?’ Amelia asks.
‘I came to see Stormy and my friends. I knew I had only a limited time, so I arranged for my show schedule to restart soon,’ Trixie replies
Amelia sighs. ‘That is a shame. Right when I was starting to finally figure my daughter out.’
‘What is there to figure out?’ Stormy says. ‘Smart, pretty, kind, great and powerful.’
Trixie hugs Stormy. ‘The sweetest.’
‘Yes, you are.’
‘Ugh. You two are disgustingly mushy.’ Amelia smiles. ‘Just like your father and I at your age.’
‘So... you’re saying we’re not going to last?’ Trixie says.
‘Your father and I are as happy as ever!’
Trixie laughs. ‘I’ll be in touch, mother. As long as Stormy dear doesn’t keep me too tied up.’
‘I know where Rarity keeps the ropes.’
‘Ooo! Kinky.’
Amelia groans and covers her face. ‘I pray to Luna that they will stop teasing me about that.’
‘Why should they? It is funny,’ Luna comments as she trots past the room with her pack.
Amelia groans again.

Rainbow Dash groans and stretches. She is in her room with her packed bag next to her.
‘Musta dozed off with Rarity. Well, let’s get going!’
Rainbow Dash jumps up and grabs her bag. She rushes downstairs to meet with the others. In the foyer, Applejack, Inkie, Lucas, Rei and Spike are waiting. They all stop chatting and stare at Rainbow Dash.
‘Sup!’
Everypony just stares.
‘So... We headin’ out soon or what?’
Everypony nods.
‘What are y’all starin’ at!’
James trots by and sets down his bag. ‘Hey, Scootaloo.’
Rainbow Dash freezes. She looks down at her now-orange legs. She pulls down her bangs and they are deep purple. She nervously looks back and finds that her flank is bare. She screams and gallops away.
‘RARITY!’
All of Rainbow Dash’s friends bust out laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In her room, Rarity sits on her bed. She has her hooves in the air and she is cackling the evilest cackle known to ponykind. The laughter rings out around the room.

Silver sits on the beach-side porch of Octavia’s house. She moans to herself. She did not get much time with Rei. She did not get to sneak up on Luna. She hears somepony approaching her from behind. Silver spins around and flashes a dagger. Her shoulder is tapped from behind.
‘Looking for me?’ Luna asks.
‘Princess Luna!’ Silver drops her dagger in surprise.
‘I understand you are trying to find me.’ Luna adjusts her glasses.
‘I was. I mean. I wanted...’
Luna holds up a celebrity magazine. ‘Can I get your autograph? Tia will be so jealous, Silver Fox.’
Silver blushes and looks away. Luna smirks.
‘Which one of us do you think hired you to test palace security over Shining Armor’s objections?’
‘Right. I forgot.’
‘Anyway, is Octavia about? I wish to rent a room from her.’
‘What?! Why?’
‘I do not wish to end my holiday.’ Luna finds and chair and sits. ‘I am having too much of a good time, and I understand that Octavia was planning on staying a while longer.’
‘It would be nice having some additional security,’ Octavia comments as she steps out of the house. ‘I hear there is a master criminal in the area.’
‘Indeed,’ Luna nods. ‘Just don’t tell my guards I switched houses for a few days. Let’s freak them out.’
The three mares giggle at the joke. Vinyl trots out to see what is going on.
‘What are you.. Ah! It is the pr...’
A cello bow hooks Vinyl’s horn and pulls her down. She is faced with three very upset glares once she is at the same level.
‘Don’t tell anypony I am here.’ Luna hisses.
‘It is a matter of utmost security.’ Silver growls.
‘...and when you bring me my drink, bring some snacks too,’ Octavia says. All of the other mares look over. ‘What? Do you want drinks too?’

Everypony is trying to relax on the airship ride back home. James leans against a closed window and sleeping. Fluttershy is laying on him and resting too. Lucas is trying to ignore the couple next to him. Stormy is deep in his music player. Rainbow Dash is trying to read her Daring Do book in an attempt to ignore Rarity’s apologies. The pegasus still has some orange patches in her coat. Rei, Inkie, Spike, Lyra and Bon Bon are playing a game together. Twilight looks up from her book and sighs in James’ direction.
‘Don’ beat yerself up,’ Applejack reassures. ‘We all still like him.’
‘Yeah. It’s just hard not getting jealous sometimes.’
‘Ah hear ya.’ She pauses. ‘Hope ya changed the sheets afterward.’
Twilight blushes and hides under her book. ‘You knew?’
‘It don’ take no fancy mathematics t’ tell when the two of ya were in the house alone t’gether.’
‘I’m sorry. I know it is going around Fluttershy, but...’
‘Its no biggie,’ Pinkie says as she leans over the seats. ‘He is good stock after all. Not to mention the ten-to-one ratio!’
Applejack and Twilight stare at the smiling Pinkie.
‘What do y’all mean by that?’ Applejack asks.
‘Did you read Inkie’s report she tried hiding from me but left under her bed when she moved out?’ Twilight adds.
‘Nope! It is because we... Oh no. You are not going to trick Pinkie Pie that easily.’
Pinkie looks proud of herself, but the other two mares glare.
‘Ah’d jus’ like t’ try datin’ him once,’ Applejack sighs.
‘At least this explains why he is always tired.’ Twilight adds.
‘Him do good Snu-Snu,’ Pinkie nods.
The three join in a collective sigh.

James moans and stretches his forelegs as he sits up in bed. He checks his mobile and is happy to wake up past noon as usual. He slides out of bed and heads out to get ready for the day. The rest of the residence is empty. Rei must have been running late again since her saddlebag was left by her slippers at the entrance. Normally, Fluttershy would have dropped it off at school for the filly but not if she left first. He laughs and heads to the washroom to clean up.
After brushing his mane, James heads down to the main floor of The Power Block. The shop is lightly populated, and Lucas is relaxing at the counter next to an interesting guest.
Lyra is getting a lot of stares from how she is sitting on the counter as she kicks her hind legs against her makeshift bench. As soon as James reaches the main floor, Lyra lights up, sets down her lyre and waves him over.
‘Hey James!’ Lyra cheers. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Shouldn’t you be in class right now?’ James asks.
Lyra checks a watch. ‘I am still on lunch break. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for coming out with us last week. You were a real joy to have around.’
‘It was great of you to have us. I am sure we all had a great time. Right, Lucas?’
Lucas looks over and scowls. ‘I was the only one that didn’t get lucky.’
Lyra checks a notebook. ‘Technically that is true if I don’t count what happened in the sauna.’
James looks at Lucas and shakes his head.
Lyra’s mobile buzzes. She checks it and sighs. ‘Well, I have to’ -- she starts making air quotes with her hooves -- ‘ “get back to work” or else I am “fired”. Pfft. Some people.’
Lyra hops off the counter. She stops to kiss James on the cheek. ‘By the way, I am totally straight for you.’

Days later. James and The Doctor are having lunch at a cafe. They are on an alien planet. They watch as strange, hairless bipedal apes walk past them.
‘Theta.’
‘Yes, James?’
‘You know how you say your adventures are sometimes like great novels?’
‘Of course. Just the other day Derpy and I had an adventure with...’
‘That is all good but...’ James sips his drink and sighs. ‘Just sometimes I feel like my adventures are in bad fan fiction.’

Bonus Scene

Author's Note

Physicist's Wife Arc - Part 5

Gee. This chapter seems familiar. Dun dun dun!

TWP Timeline: TWP's first time? Applejack confesses to him. TWP wonders if his life is really bad fan fiction. (Don't tell him. It will only make him depressed.)

Story Timeline: Trixie and her mother reconcile. Trixie and Stormy make sweet, sweet love for the first time. Rei is traumatized after Rarity's presentation. Rei and Inkie start dating.

Story Event: Yep! I faked ya out! ... I hope I faked you out. I wanted to treat the humanized chapter as a joke that didn't happen, but then it happens for realsies!

Despite having had the chapter already written, this was one of the hardest chapters to write since I had to change all the human terms to pony terms. It was really hard future-proofing this chapter. Even future-proofing against show events is/was easier.

Fun fact: The city appearing in the chapter was supposed to be Los Arion, the TWP version of Los Angeles. Although, the scene in the end could be LA or another city populated by hairless, bipedal apes.

Confessions

Main Characters: Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, TWP
Cameos: Rei, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash
Original Write Date: June 21, 2012

Fluttershy wakes in the middle of the night. Last she remembered, James had his forelegs around her as they fell asleep. He is now rolled up on the other side of the bed. She giggles to herself and goes to get a glass of water. The trip to the kitchen and back is a little shaky thanks to some after-hours fun the couple had. Fluttershy giggles about that, too. She curls up in bed and gives her husband a kiss on the cheek. Then she hears a whisper.

‘Twilight...’ James mumbles in his sleep.

Fluttershy flinches at the mention of the name.

‘Twilight...’ James mumbles again, almost whining.

Fluttershy rolls to her side of the bed, pulls the covers over her head and tries going back to sleep.

‘Well, what did you expect, darling?’ Rarity sighs as she soaks in the spa. ‘You may have gotten away with it for this long, but you knew he would go back to his old habits eventually.’

Fluttershy whimpers and stares into the water. ‘I know, but we were having such a good time together. He was so willing to play along, and things were going so smoothly. We pretty much have the whole town convinced...’

‘True, but everypony thinks you are a couple because of your accident and you hurting your head. They all know you are not really married.’

Fluttershy squeaks and hides under the water.

‘Please. We both know that does not define a marriage. Besides, you two have only been doing that for a few days now.’

The pegasus snorts. ‘Right. And if that did define a marriage, you’d be married to half the town.’

Rarity gasps. ‘I am going to write that up to you being upset.’

‘Right. I’m sorry,’ Fluttershy sighs. ‘I should tell everypony, shouldn’t I?’

‘James and I are willing to help you.’

‘No... I should do this on my own.’ She grimaces. ‘I hate to imagine how Rei will take it. She has grown so attached to the idea of having me as her mother.’

Rei smiles at Fluttershy. ‘Okay!’

Fluttershy freezes in shock. ‘What?’

‘Well, I knew you were not my real mommy and I knew you weren’t really married to my daddy, so I am okay with you not pretending to be my mommy anymore.’

‘You are taking this far better than I expected.’

The older pegasus gasps for breath as the younger one grabs her around the neck.

‘Rei-chan wants her mommy back!’ the filly sobs.

Fluttershy fights crying. ‘I don’t want to lose you, too.’

James trots over and puts his forelegs around the crying pegasi. ‘Don’t worry, everything will work out fine.’ He backs off a little. ‘Actually, where do we go from here? What is the plan, Fluttershy?’

Fluttershy breaks the hug and looks down. ‘Well, um, I should probably go back to my cottage. I mean, I only forced myself in here to maintain the lie. I have to work on telling the truth to make up for everything...’

‘Just tell us what we can do to help and we’ll do it.’

‘Honestly, I wish I didn’t have to move back out. I was beginning to really enjoy the intimacy.’

Rei giggles. ‘Flutters-chan likes the sex.’

The older pegasus scowls. ‘I meant the close bond your father and I shared.’

‘That shouldn’t have to be something we give up. I know once everything settles down, I’ll be a prime target again. I am certain that Twilight will be willing to work a schedule that controls every moment of all of my nights from now until I die.’

‘You mean regenerate?’

‘Flutters. This is Twilight. A several millennia-long schedule would be a dream. ’

Fluttershy giggles. ‘Yeah. I guess you’re right.’

James steps forward and kisses Fluttershy. ‘Just in case you need to go into hiding, I have a few important things to tell you.’

The pegasus blushes. ‘What?’

‘First, I cannot thank you enough for helping with Rei these past few weeks. I can’t think of a more perfect mother to help me raise her.’

Fluttershy looks down and lets out a happy squeak.

‘Second, even though this was a trick, I would not trade a single moment of it for anything. If any of our friends get upset with you, you have my full support. I will come to your defense as soon as you call.’

‘Okay.’

‘Last, please don’t change. I know you have some negative outbursts now and again, but I love seeing this more confident side of you. It... really makes you more attractive, too.’

‘Thank you. I’ll try to keep that in mind.’

The two ponies kiss again. Fluttershy starts crying again. She breaks the kiss to wipe her tears.

‘Everything will work out. Remember, confidence.’

‘It is not that... I am just beginning to miss you already.’

‘Fluttershy, I am always here, and I don’t plan on leaving. We adapted to being together. We can adapt to being apart again. Confidence.’

Rei trots over and hugs Fluttershy. ‘My brother gave me a motto that I have lived by since I got my cutie mark: Always be happy and hang in there.’ She hugs tighter. ‘Hang in there, mom. Please be happy.’

Fluttershy sobs again, but she gets control of her crying. ‘Okay. I’m off to see my friends now.’ She gives James one last kiss. ‘Mrs Fluttershy Wanderer will return one day. I promise.’

Fluttershy sits with Rainbow Dash in her cloud home. The yellow pegasus is explaining herself to her friend.

‘... And that is why I did what I did and lied to all of you. Can you forgive me?’ Fluttershy asks.

Rainbow Dash stares in shock. ‘So wait... I didn’t hurt you with my stunt?’

‘Well, you knocked me out for a bit, but I was perfectly fine...’

The cyan pegasus grabs her friend in a hug. ‘I am so relieved. I thought I had permanently damaged you.’

‘You’re not mad that I was lying to you this whole time?’

‘Fluttershy, I had just found out that Jimmy was seeing Twilight before you tricked us. I always thought he was with you. I just thought this was a natural progression of things.’

‘You never noticed him and Twilight?’

‘Not that I know of. Just the way you always talked about your online stuff... And now, I can’t really picture you two with anypony else.’

Fluttershy blushes and giggles. ‘Thank you.’

‘So are you two really broken up?’

‘I’m moving back to my cottage, but we will still see each other.’

‘Good! Because I don’t want you losing somepony that makes you really happy.’

Fluttershy smiles. ‘Thank you, Rainbow Dash.’

‘Oh! And if you need a place to hide from Twilight, she can’t reach you up here. Well, she can with her blimp and cloudwalking spell, but that doesn’t matter since she would probably just blast the whole house with her magic anyway.’

Fluttershy sighs, ‘Thank you, Rainbow Dash.’

Twilight is trying not to show any emotion as Fluttershy explains what she did to her friend. The pegasus is getting more and more nervous since she expected her friend to burst into flames instantly and banish her to the moon.

‘So, um, I am really, really, really sorry. I was, uh, just acting the whole time.’ Fluttershy grins nervously.

Twilight sighs. ‘I know. I thought you were hurt for a bit, but I could tell you were acting.’

‘You... knew?’

‘Fluttershy, we have done how many Hearths Warming Eve plays together? I think I can tell when you are acting.’

‘Oh... I didn’t know it was so obvious. Why didn’t you say anything? I knew you were upset with me.’

‘You were happy, and he was happy. I am not going to ruin my friends’ happiness for a petty reason.’ Twilight looks around nervously. ‘Besides, I was, uh, having a bit of an, um, affair behind your back.’

Fluttershy sighs. ‘I knew.’

‘You knew?’

The pegasus laughs to herself. ‘You know James and his honesty. He told me about the two of you. I am glad his first time was with somepony who he loves...’

‘Fluttershy... The way you say that makes it seem like he doesn’t love you too. You know full well that the physical act means nothing to him. It is the emotional bond the two of you share that is important.’ Twilight looks ashamed. ‘I was the one who was greedy that first time...’

‘Oh?’

Twilight groans. ‘It was after astronomy club. I was just so fired up after we found that comet. He was helping me with my telescopes and... Well, you know how oblivious he is when it comes to anything romantic. A mare’s got to do what the stallion cannot, right?’

Fluttershy sighs. ‘Same thing with me, too. You would have thought he would be fired up after such a racy play. I guess if it doesn’t have 8bit music...’

‘Or level grinding...’

‘Or DLC...’

The mares continue reconnecting over their mutual frustrations with the stallion they love.

Applejack glares at her friend as Fluttershy confesses. The pegasus is getting scared by the upset look she is getting.

‘So, uh, that why I did what I did,’ Fluttershy squeaks. She adopts a nervous grin.

‘Ah can appreciate ya bein’ honest with us now, but Ah can’ believe ya were lying t’ us this whole time.’

‘I am really sorry.’

Applejack takes a deep breath. ‘Ah fergive ya. Ain’t no use bein’ upset if ya are tryin’ t’ make amends.’

‘Thank you, Applejack. You are a very understanding friend.’

Fluttershy turns to leave, but her tail gets pulled. She turns back to see Applejack blushing and staring at the ground.

‘Um, does this mean anypony is free t’ date Jimmy now?’

‘Applejack?’

‘Ah... sorta like ‘im and would like t’ give ‘im a try.’

‘I just confessed a few moments ago, and you are wanting to ask him out right away?’

‘Ah-Ah jus’ want a shot! ‘Sides, it ain’t like Twi ain’t cookin’ up a scheme since ya told her.’

‘Well, she did seem rather excited that he was relatively single again...’

‘So ya don’ mind, do ya?’

Fluttershy groans. ‘At this rate, Big Macintosh and Granny Smith will be wanting to date him by the end of the year.’

At last, Fluttershy is with the friend she was certain would take the confession best. Instead, Pinkie is looking more and more upset as Fluttershy keeps talking.

‘B-but I-I am really sorry for lying and I hope you can forgive me and understand why I did what I did?’

‘Get out,’ Pinkie snarls.

‘What?’

‘GET OUT!’ the pink pony shouts, her hair going flat. ‘I can’t believe you of all ponies would even think of hurting all of your friends like this! You are supposed to be the kind one, but instead your evil monster side was in charge!’

‘I-I only did it because I never get a chance to be with him. He-he was okay with playing along when I told him the truth.’

‘That makes it worse! You forced him and Rarity to play along with your stupid game! You made us all believe you were really hurt, then you manipulated your friends in some perverse scheme! You are the worst kind of pony!’

‘You mean you actually believed the lie? You are even more air-brained then you act. Besides, if you really believed we were really married, why were you sleeping with him behind my back?’

Pinkie gasps. ‘How did you know?’

Fluttershy shakes her head. ‘First going behind Twilight’s back, then going behind mine. Are you going to try stealing Rarity from Spike next? How about hooking up with all of the Wonderbolts to mess with Rainbow Dash?’

The two ponies butt heads and growl.

Fluttershy takes a deep breath and backs down. ‘I am sorry. Those comments were uncalled for. I am just upset because you are angry with me.’ She extends a hoof. ‘Can you forgive me?’

Pinkie bats the hoof away. ‘Can you listen to me? Get. Out.’

‘Will you at least accept my apology for what I just said? I will give you all the time you need to forgive me for my lie.’

‘If I accept your apology, that would imply I was still your friend.’

‘Pinkie...’

Pinkie turns away and points to the door. Fluttershy takes a deep breath and trots away.

‘I hope you can forgive me one day...’

Fluttershy exits the back door of The Power Block with a box on her back. James follows her out.

‘These should be the last of my things,’ Fluttershy says. ‘If you find anything I forgot...’

‘I’ll send Rei as quick as possible.’

‘Or you can come yourself...’

‘Flutters, I think if we’re going to undo as much damage as we can, we should try avoiding private settings together for a while.’

The pegasus sighs. ‘You’re right. I guess we’ll be seeing each other.’

Fluttershy leans forward to try and get one last kiss, but she yelps in surprise as she is pushed away from her friend. Her box of belongings spills all over the alley.

‘Hi, Mr James Wanderer Hayate!’ Pinkie greets. ‘Are you free tonight?’

Fluttershy groans and starts picking up her stuff.

‘Pinkie,’ James sighs. ‘We just ended this today. Give me some time to get used to being without Fluttershy.’

‘Who? I’ve never known anypony by that name.’

‘Pinkie, just because you are mad at her doesn’t mean you can ignore her.’

James moves to help Fluttershy, but Pinkie grabs his foreleg.

‘Don’t help her after she has hurt you so much,’ Pinkie begs.

‘She’s right,’ Fluttershy nods. ‘It is fine. I don’t want to be a burden.’

‘You’re not a burden,’ James replies. ‘And if Pinkie really wanted you gone, she wouldn’t have made a mess to keep you around.’

‘It is fine.’

‘See,’ Pinkie gloats. ‘The meany Miss Hurts-A-Lot doesn’t need any help.’

‘Pinkie...’

‘What? She hurt us all and manipulated your emotions.’

‘Pink...’

‘And what about Rei? Both of you toyed with the filly’s desire to have a real mother. Even if you can justify her actions towards yourself, what about your daughter?’

James stares back at the pink pony. He looks over at the pegasus trying to repack her belongings. She looks up and gives a weak smile. He takes a deep breath and turns around. Pinkie steps beside him. He pushes her back.

‘Pinkie, even though I am upset that you used Rei like that, I am angry at myself for not seeing what you said earlier. I... am just going to need to be alone with my daughter for a while.’

‘I’m real sorry, James,’ Fluttershy squeaks.

‘Fluttershy... I am still on your side in the long run, but not right now.’

The stallion closes the door behind him. Pinke looks at Fluttershy. The pegasus finishes packing and trots away, muttering apologies to nopony in particular. Pinkie gives a small whimper then holds her head up, confident in what she had done.

‘YOU WHAT!’ Twilight shouts, rattling the library’s shelves.

Pinkie backs away from her friend. ‘I sorta told him, uh, them that they were hurting Rei and...’

Twilight shakes her head. ‘I know I am upset at both of them for deceiving us like they did, but I’m not crazy enough to bring Rei into the mix.’

‘Did Pinkie do bad?’ the normally-energetic pony whimpers, trying to hid behind her flat mane.

‘Honestly, I don’t know. We both know that James loves Rei very much...’

‘Which is why I brought her up,’ Pinkie interrupts.

‘But, we also know that Fluttershy started caring for her too. Saying Rei loves everypony is an understatement, but she really cares for her parents, real or imagined.’

Pinkie lays on the ground and covers her head with her hooves. ‘I made a huge mistake.’

Twilight strokes her friend’s mane. ‘It is okay. We are all upset with them. I’m probably handling this better than I should since I figured it out before Fluttershy told me.’

‘You knew? Why didn’t you tell anypony?’

‘Would you have had any less of a freak-out if I told you sooner?’

Pinkie stares at her friend for a moment. ‘You knew? Why didn’t you tell anypony?’

Twilight lays down and hugs her friend. ‘Come on, let’s go apologize to them.’

‘I...’ --- she buries her head deeper -- ‘can’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘He told me he didn’t want to see me again, and I sort of told her I wasn’t her friend anymore. I feel bad for upsetting both of them, but I am also really, really mad at Flutterliar.’

Twilight sighs. ‘You know he wants to see you again. He just needs to blow off some steam.’

‘And Meanie Lies-A-Lot?’

‘She is looking for our forgiveness, right? She knows we are mad. I bet she is giving us some space before confronting us again. She will be happy with any small step back towards friendship.’

Pinkie moans. There is a knock on the library door, and Rarity pokes her head in.

‘He~~llo~~! I was just looking for...’ Rarity spies the ponies on the floor. ‘Room for one more?’

Twilight quickly gets to her hooves. ‘Sorry about that. Pinkie just needs some comfort because of this whole Fluttershy situation. How can I help you?’

‘Actually, that is why I am here,’ Rarity replies. ‘I have been trying to find the poor dear to see how the confessions are going, but she is not answering her mobile, and her cottage was empty.’

‘Maybe she is just out. It has been a stressful day for us all.’

‘No, I mean it was literally empty. All I could find was this note on the door.’

Rarity levitates a note to Twilight.

‘To the pony who finds this,’ Twilight reads. ‘Please ask the RSI Adventure Team to care for my animals. Tell them I will reimburse them as soon as I have resettled. Thank you, Fluttershy.’ She lowers the note. ‘This is very serious.’

‘This is all my fault!’ Pinkie sobs.

‘Now, now,’ Twilight assures. ‘She might be on a vacation until we are all thinking clearly.’

‘The note does sound like she is leaving us,’ Rarity points out.

‘Okay... She could just be hiding in her house.’

‘The doors were locked and the windows sealed,’ Rarity adds.

Twilight huffs, ‘Fine. We’ll check out her house then panic.’

‘All right...’ Pinkie whimpers. ‘I hope Meanie Stupid Liar Face is okay.’ She turns to Rarity. ‘Thanks for telling us, Snooty McSecret-Keeper.’

Rarity turns her nose up. ‘I’ll just assume the insult is because you are as broken up about losing our friend as I am.’

‘Girls, we have more important things to worry about,’ Twilight groans as she heads to the door.

The others nod and follow their friend out.

Fluttershy’s friends (and Pinkie Pie) are gathered outside her cottage. The house is dark, and the shutters block the windows. Twilight is pacing in front of the door.

‘Okay. This isn’t good. Fluttershy is missing, and we have no idea where she could be,’ the unicorn states. ‘Rainbow, you get to Cloudsdale and ask her parents if they have had any contact with her.’

‘On it!’ Dash salutes. ‘I also told the other pegasi in town to keep an eye out for her.’

Rainbow Dash flies away.

‘Rarity, you ask around town. You’re better than us at that sort of thing.’

‘I will do my best to find our dear Fluttershy.’

Rarity gallops away.

‘Big Mac and Ah will bring the ground game and search everywhere she coulda got on hoof,’ Applejack says.

‘Excellent,’ Twilight nods. ‘I sent a letter to the princess asking for help. I will check with Zecora if Fluttershy entered the Everfree Forest.’ She sighs. ‘I really don’t want to play the trump card.’

Applejack puts a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. ‘Ah doubt he knows more than us. ‘Sides, if he’s still in the married mindset...’

Twilight nods in agreement. ‘He’d rip Equestria to shreds trying to find her. Best not to worry him for now.’

‘Um... And me?’ Pinkie mumbles.

The two friends look at Pinkie Pie. They smile at her.

‘I know how stressed you are feeling,’ Twilight says. ‘You have a lot of conflicting emotions right now. Get some rest and don’t worry. We’ll call you if anything comes up.’

‘Yeah, don’ worry yer head off. We got ya covered.’ Applejack gets an idea. ‘Hey! Ya should stop by mah house. Ah jus’ baked some fresh apple fritters. Ya should get one befer AB and her friends try fer their Cutie Mark Crusader Fritter Taster cutie marks again.’

Pinkie smiles. ‘That does sound good.’

Twilight gives her friend a gentle nuzzle. ‘Don’t worry. She’ll be fine. Take as much time as you need to work out your feelings.’

‘Thanks, Twilight.’ Pinkie chokes back a tear.

After one last parting smile, the group splits up to search for Fluttershy. Pinkie sighs and looks up at the cottage. Something catches her eye, and she narrows her gaze. She looks around and jumps into a bush. She emerges a second later with a ball in hoof. She aims and throws at a second story window. The balls crashes through the window. A sharp shriek is heard. Pinkie growls and looks for a way into the house.

Fluttershy cowers on the floor of her bedroom after the sudden ball intrusion. The stomping on the stairs makes her shake even more.

‘I know you’re in there!’ Pinkie shouts as she charges into the room.

There is a loud crash, and Pinkie is sent tumbling backwards as she hits something very dense. Rei shakes her head as she raises it from headbutt position.

‘You were going to hurt mommy,’ the filly growls.

‘She was tricking us about being missing!’ Pinkie shouts back.

‘No, we weren’t!’ Rei yells, electrical energies crackling around her. ‘You just showed up as we were getting the last of our supplies we needed for our trip.’

‘Why do you keep saying “we”?’

‘Because no matter what anypony says, I am going with her.’ Rei frowns. ‘Nopony is taking mommy away from me again.’

Fluttershy sighs. ‘That is enough, Rei.’ She trots past the filly and helps Pinkie up. ‘I am really sorry about this. I haven’t been able to shake her since I saw you last.’

‘If she is with you, then...’

‘I convinced daddy’s magic box to go into hiding for a bit. He is busy looking for it (and me) with The Doctor.’

‘Why are you running too?’

‘Actually, I am the also-running one,’ Fluttershy replies. ‘I saw her leaving the shop after we talked. She asked why I was upset. She kept saying that we should run away together.’ She sighs. ‘I was going to keep tabs on her and report back once I had a free moment.’

‘Mom!’

‘What about that note you left? The one that said you were running away?’

Fluttershy turns to Rei. ‘What note, Rei?’

The filly shrinks away. ‘I sorta copied your writing and left a note maybe implying you were leaving.’

‘Pinkie, do you have anything in case of lasso emergencies?’

Pinkie dashes out of the room and returns with a length of rope.

‘Rei, what do we do when you hurt somepony’s feelings?’

‘Beg for forgiveness.’

‘Right. Now, are you going to come with us peacefully or do we have to drag you?’

‘I’ll be good, mommy.’

Fluttershy sighs and shakes her head. ‘Let’s tell the others to stop worrying. Where’s my..?’

Rei gets Fluttershy’s mobile from under a chest of drawers. The older pegasus scowls at the younger one. Pinkie looks between the two pegasi as Fluttershy starts calling her friends.

The friends have gathered back at the library. Rei sits in the middle of the room with her head down. Her father paces in front of her.

‘Rei, what the hell?’ James shouts.

‘Time machines are not toys,’ the scared filly squeaks.

‘Damn right they are not! Do you know how scared I was? I thought something bad happened to you; then, of course, you are just acting out again. Thankfully, Fluttershy was there to keep an eye on you. And if you went the other way, Pinkie Pie would have stopped you. It is good to know somepony was acting responsibly today.’

Pinkie looks at Fluttershy, who also shares James’ upset expression.

‘Your trick had everyone here worried that something had happened to Fluttershy. You made a lot of ponies upset.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Rei mumbles.

Rainbow Dash steps up. ‘Listen, shrimp. I don’t know what punishment your dad is gonna give you, but you earned at least a week of dawn-to-dusk service to make up for getting us all worked up.’

‘Hai, Dash-sempai.’

‘Y’all are gonna have t’ help out on the farm fer gettin’ all us riled up, too.’

‘Hai, Ringo-oneesama.’

‘Settle down, everypony,’ Twilight calms. ‘There will be time to deal with her later. The important thing is that she was caught before she could run away. Thank you, Fluttershy, for being there at the right time.’

Fluttershy looks away. ‘I didn’t do anything special. Besides, it is all because of me anyway. Me and my stupid trick.’

‘Fluttershy, you know we are all still upset, but it will take time for us to forgive everything,’ Twilight reminds her friend.

‘That is why I was going to stay in my cottage,’ the pegasus sighs. ‘I wanted to be out of everypony’s manes until things between us settle.’

‘Darling, not all of us are mad at you,’ Rarity assures. ‘You don’t have to avoid us all.’

‘Yeah,’ James agrees. ‘I was more mad at myself for letting Rei get used by us, but now I have other things to be mad about.’

Rei squeaks.

‘Right. I’m sorry,’ Fluttershy whimpers.

‘Confidence!’ is loudly coughed by somepony in the room. Twilight turns and glares at the stallion next to her. Fluttershy giggles at the pair.

James makes his way to the door. ‘Come on, Rei. We should get home. You’re going to need a lot of rest if you are going to survive everypony’s punishments.’

Rei groans and follows her father away. The other ponies start milling out as well. Pinkie stops Fluttershy as they trot away.

‘Flutters...’

‘Yes, Pinkie?’

‘I am still really, really mad at you for lying to us, but I am also ready to begin forgiving you. I’m sorry for saying you weren’t my friend.’

Fluttershy smiles. ‘It is okay, Pinkie. We were all really upset today. And I already told you, I was going to give you all the time you needed. There is no need to be sorry.’

Pinkie smiles, some poof returning to her mane. ‘Thank you. Auntie Pinkie Pie needs to hear that.’

The pink pony prances away, feeling better about herself and her friendships.

Fluttershy huffs, ‘I’m a year older than you.’

Author's Note

Physicist's Wife Arc - Part 6 - Finale

TWP Love Triangle: Twilight vs Pinkie vs Applejack

Story Event: And thus ends the great experiment of what would happen if Fluttershy was a jerk and stole Twilight's coltfriend. Really, there is no worse punishment than when James turned on her for using Rei against him. At this point in the story, there are two ponies that you don't want to mess with if you don't want James to scatter your atoms across the universe. One thinks she is a princess. The other is a princess. Do not mess with them!

Fun fact: There is a bit of irony in what Applejack says when she forgives Fluttershy...

iDate

Main Characters: TWP, Applejack
Cameos: Apple Bloom, Big Macintosh, Rei
Original Write Date: July 5, 2012

Apple Bloom helps her sister brush her mane and tail. Applejack has a big date and wants to look her best. She borrowed a fancy dress from Rarity, and Big Macintosh is polishing her hat.

‘Why are ya gettin’ all fancy?’ Apple Bloom asks. ‘Ya never got this fancy fer any o’ yer dates befer.’

‘Ah just wanna look nice this time is all,’ Applejack replies. ‘Nothin’ more than that.’ She scrunches her face and her eyes dart.

‘But Ah ain’t never known ya t’ want to wear a fru-fru dress or brush yer mane this much. Ya didn’t even do this fer the Gala or the weddin’ or the cornet-ion .’

‘Course Ah did. Ain’t that right, Big Mac?’

‘Nope!’

Applejack snorts at her brother. She sets down her brush and ties her mane with a long, red silk bow. Apple Bloom ties her sister’s tail with a silk ribbon. She holds up a mirror so Applejack can check for herself. The mare smiles and blushes at the result.

‘Thanks fer the help,’ Applejack says. ‘Excuse me while Ah get dressed.’

Big Macintosh sets the hat down and trots away. Applejack lays out her dress and tries to figure out how to get in it.

Apple Bloom snorts. ‘Shoulda got Miss Rarity t’ do yer mane too. Rip off mah date with ‘im completely.’

‘Scoot!’ Applejack snaps, pushing her sister out of the room.

‘Daddy, are you feeling okay?’

‘I’m fine, Rei. Why do you ask?’

‘Well, your mane is all funny and you are wearing a tie.’

James stops combing his mane and turns to his daughter, his tie flapping around his neck.

‘I, uh, just want to make a good first impression, and that means wearing a tie.’

‘You didn’t wear a tie on your other first dates.’

‘I wore one with Twilight!’ James defends. ‘Besides, when did I ever have another real first date? Luna and Pinkie just show up when they want to do out, and Fluttershy... Let’s leave her out of this for now.’

‘You didn’t wear a tie for her sister.’

‘That was, uh, because, um... You’re grounded.’

James turns his nose up and trots out of his house, stopping to pick up a box of candy.

Rei snorts. ‘You didn’t get any of your other dates candy...’

The Nervous Physicist gallops to the town square. He makes sure his mane is in order before calmly trotting out to find his date for the evening. Applejack is a little embarrassed from all of the stares she is getting. She has never dressed this fancy for a date before. A throat clears next to her. She turns to see James balancing the box of candy on his nose.

‘I, uh, got Bon Bon to make some special apple candy for you. I hope y...’

The Stammering Physicist is cut off when Applejack jams her muzzle to his and gives him a big kiss. The candy falls, but the farm pony catches it with a free hoof. She breaks the kiss and smiles.

‘If that’s how you say thank you for the candy, I’m going to have to stop at the drugstore before you thank me for the date.’

‘Sorry. Ah got a little ahead o’ mahself there. Ah just saw ya and yer lips and...’

Applejack starts leaning in again but catches herself and blushes. The stallion offers a hoof and they trot away together.

‘You’re looking lovely tonight,’ James compliments. ‘The dress might be a bit much though.’

Applejack’s blush deepens. ‘Rarity said it was “me” and that it would get yer blood boilin’. ‘Sides, there is somethin’ wrong with yer mane.’

‘What? You keep telling me that there is something wrong with it but when I actually comb it, you keep telling me something is wrong.’

‘Ah... actually really like it all messy-like. Looks more you.’

James laughs and runs his hoof through his hair, instantly returning it to normal.

‘Better,’ Applejack laughs. ‘Now, Ah could tell ya had pasta fer lunch. Hope that ain’t where we’re heading.’

‘How did you..?’ -- Applejack sticks her tongue out, causing James to blush -- ‘Right. No, no. We’re going to the other fancy date spot in town, as well as some other things you may enjoy.’

‘Ah can’t wait t’ see what ya have in store fer me.’

Applejack gives James another peck on the cheek.

‘Me, too...’ the stallion mumbles.

The couple sits at their table in the restaurant. The waiter takes their menus and leaves them to talk.

‘Thanks fer takin’ me here. Ah’ve always wanted t’ come, but it is way t’ fancy t’ go with mah family.’

‘I don’t know. Put Big Mac in a tux. That might work.’

Applejack laughs. ‘Yer right.’

‘I am really surprised you asked me out, but it is nice to spend some time with you.’

The mare blushes. ‘Well, er, after what Ah said t’ ya at the beach and with Fluttershy saying it’s okay now... Ah just wanted t’ give ya a shot. Find out what Ah’m missin’.’

‘A free meal and entertainment out of the house is about it,’ the stallion grins sheepishly.

Applejack laughs. ‘That is more than Ah get most nights,’ she frowns and snorts, ‘and from most stallions...’

James leans forward. ‘You know Twilight and Pinkie are watching us, right?’

‘Hard t’ miss the poofy pink mane and the win’s.’

‘Yep. … Is that your hoof rubbing my cutie mark?’

Applejack giggles and winks.

‘Are you like this on all of your dates?’

‘Not all o’ them. If Ah like the stallion, Ah like testin’ him t’ see if he’s willin’ t’ take the bull by the horns.’

‘Or in your case, mare by the ponytail.’

‘Yer the first stallion t’ get that part right.’ She winks.

‘This a whole side of you I’ve never seen, nor expected.’

‘Everypony has a side o’ them they only let out on certain occasions. Ah let this side slip at the wedding and three o’ Celestia’s personal guards and Luna’s top lieutenant asked me out.’

‘Please say you accepted Luna’s guard. They are the nicest ponies, especially the one with the eyepatch. Sunshine deserves any break he can get.’

Applejack smiles and reaches across the table. ‘Ah’m hopin’ he doesn’ get t’ find out.’

James starts to reach back, but he jumps in his seat. He swats at his side. Applejack giggles as her hind leg returns to her side.

James and Applejack make their way through the Ponyville theater. Applejack is a little surprised that her date is taking her to a play. James leads her to an oddly-picked location toward the left side of the theater.

‘You’ll love this play,’ James says. ‘I slept through it twice.’

‘Twice?’

‘Last week with the wife and yesterday.’

Applejack laughs. ‘Well, we’ll have t’ make sure ya stay up fer this one.’

‘Best of luck,’ the stallion replies.

‘Why’d ya pick such an odd location?’ the mare ponders. ‘The view is fine, but it seems out o’ the way.’

‘Perfect location for sleeping. Few patrons sit in the area so nopony is really disturbed, and those that do sit back here don’t really care or are too busy focusing on the play to notice.’

‘So ya can get away with anythin’?’

‘Within reason. Why?’

Applejack looks over and grins. The theater lights lower as the curtain rises. The farm pony quickly switches seats, landing on top of The Shocked Physicist muzzle first. His cries of surprise are muffled.
…

The audience stands and stomps in support of the players. Applejack joins in with loud whistling. James stares in shock, Applejack’s hat on his head. The mare stops her cheering and turns to her date.

‘Yer right, that was a great play.’

‘So many Greek myths come to mind right now. The Odyssey for one...’

‘And fer us who don’ speak fancy?’

James smiles weakly. ‘It is a good read. I suggest it.’

Applejack huffs, ‘Fine.’ She takes her hat back. ‘Let’s get goin’ befer the crowd is too big.’

She tugs James’ foreleg. The stallion snaps out of his daze and follows his date out.

The couple sits at a coffee shop after the play. Both have a sugary treat in front of them. Applejack sighs and looks across the table. James looks up from his treat and licks some frosting from his muzzle.

‘Uh... Did I get it all?’ the stallion asks.

‘Would ya ever wanna move t’ the apple farm and help me run it?’

James is stunned. ‘Uh...... Since I know you want the honest answer, no. I couldn’t see myself being a farmer. I can’t even imagine the daily commute to town to run the store if you let me keep it.’

Applejack looks down at her dessert and moans, ‘Ah thought as much.’

‘Would you not want to run the store with me?’

‘Heck, nah!’ She gasps. ‘Ah mean...’

‘I didn’t think so,’ James laughs. ‘It is okay. I can’t really see you settling to the sedentary life I prefer.’

‘And Ah thought we had a good thin’ too.’

‘What? We can’t be good friends?’

‘Yeah, but Ah thought fer sure Ah finally found a good stallion.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘As much as Ah like spendin’ time with ya and Ah had a great time t’night, Ah can’t help but notice how diff’rent we are.’

James sighs. ‘I know what you mean. Just because we like each other doesn’t mean we’re each other’s special somepony.’

‘Right... Ah was hopin’ t’ set a good example fer Apple Bloom by findin’ the right stallion, but Ah just come across as fickle.’

‘At least you’re not like Big Macintosh and his, uh, rendezvous across town.’

Applejack snorts. ‘Best worst-kept secret on the farm.’

‘Eeyup.’

The stallion is kicked out of his seat from under the table. He laughs to himself as he gets back in his seat.

‘Ah really hoped we’d work out,’ Applejack sighs. ‘Yer smart, funny, a good listener... very handsome.’

James freezes and looks down. ‘Nopony has really called me handsome, not even Twilight...’

The mare giggles. ‘So Ah get one o’ yer firsts...’

James squeaks, getting another giggle from the mare. The Blushing Physicist looks up and meets Applejack’s eyes. They smile at each other.

‘I still don’t see why we can’t be good friends,’ the stallion says. ‘If you want a good example for Apple Bloom, we can at least give her that much.’

‘Ah guess...’

James reaches across the table and pats Applejack’s hoof. ‘Sorry that we didn’t work out.’ All the best since I still have the others chasing me. ‘I know you are going to make somepony really happy. Some very lucky pony.’

‘Not as good a p...’ the disappointed mare shakes her head. ‘Ah got mah date with ya. That was the least Ah wanted.’

‘Hey, you got to work out your pent-up feelings, too.’

‘Not all o’ them,’ the farmer mumbles.

‘Huh?’

Applejack blushes. ‘After our trip out west, Ah’m the last in our group t’...’

‘OH! I am sure eventually...’

‘Ferget Ah said anythin’ if ya like having yer own teeth.’

James squeaks in fear. ‘So, um, you were telling me about how much you were enjoying your dessert?’

Applejack laughs and sighs. Why can’t I meet a good farmer like him?

James trots with Applejack as she heads back to the farm. The apple orchard is really quiet at this time of night.

‘Jimmy, Ah’ve been thinking...’

‘Yes, Mr Purple?’

Applejack giggles. ‘Ah know we wouldn’ work out but if Ah need a stallion t’ go to fer anythin’, one who ain’t mah brother...’

‘You know you can rely on me for anything.’

‘Anythin’? Y’all would do anythin’ Ah need a stallion fer? Even if it is another date, as friends o’ course?’

‘Of course. I would never want to let a friend down.’

‘Thanks.’

Applejack leans against her date the rest of the trot home. Back at the house, the couple stops at the door.

‘Thank ya fer the date. Ah had a lovely time. Twi is a lucky mare t’ have somepony like ya.’

‘Thank you. I was honored to have your company for the evening.’

James leans in and gives Applejack a kiss. He starts to turn, but his hoof is caught by hers. He looks back and sees a crafty grin on the mare’s face.

‘Ya said ya do anythin’ Ah need a stallion fer.’

‘Well, um, I mean, uh...’

Applejack takes the stallion’s tie in her hoof. ‘Wanna come inside or do Ah have t’ get mah rope?’

‘Eep!’

The stallion tries to resist, but he is pulled inside the building.

Bonus scene - Warning: Implied mature content.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: First/only date with Applejack. First time with Applejack.

Story Event: Applejack defines James' mane style as 'Messy'. Trust me. This is important.

Fun fact: I consider this the worst pun I ever used as a title.

Fun fact: According to the bonus scene, Applejack tastes like apples. ... You're welcome for that bad pun too.

Daring Do and The Enigmatic Scientist

Characters (Human): TES, Rainbow Dash, Daring Do, The Brilliant and Wonderful Vicki
Characters (Pony): Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, TWP
Original Write Date: June 21, 2012

James pulls a lever on the TARDIS console. He turns a few knobs and presses a couple buttons. Once the power-down sequence is initiated, he turns to his travel companion.

‘Now, the most important part about time travel is not interfering. Don’t get yourself noticed. Don’t stand out. I know I promised you an adventure, but we are not to interfere at all.’

Rainbow Dash salutes. ‘Got it, boss!’

James opens the TARDIS doors onto an university. The ship is in the form of an information kiosk at one end of a quad. There is a noticeable lack of mobiles and computers. The students are dressed more conservatively, and fashion tends to favor suits for the men and dresses for the women. James turns back to Rainbow Dash. The outline of her sports bra and gym shorts are visible under her t-shirt and sweatpants. He sighs and leads her through the door.

‘Okay. I said that I would try to get you to meet Daring Do on this trip but if we find her, we are only getting autographs. No photos. No video. Nothing that could upset spacetime.’

James turns around and almost bumps into a woman. She grabs his head and leans up for a kiss. Rainbow Dash covers her mouth as she giggles at the situation. Eventually, the woman lets The Stunned Physicist free. She straightens her multi-toned, greyscale hair.

‘See you around, cutie,’ she says before heading into the university.

James stands frozen while Rainbow Dash laughs at her host. She puts a hand on his shoulder.

‘What was that about upsetting spacetime?’

‘I was not expecting that.’

‘How was it?’

James looks around to make sure it is safe. ‘Not as good as Twilight, but she used her tongue fancier than Pinkie.’

Rainbow Dash falls to the ground laughing. Students and professors stop and look at the scene. James shakes off the strange occurrence but freezes when another thought hits him.

‘Was that..?’

Rainbow Dash picks herself up. ‘Was that who?’

James runs after the woman, with Rainbow Dash at his heels. He skids to a stop by a classroom, his trainers scuffing the floor. A person in a large trench coat slinks away across the hall. A wisp of silver hair is seen. In the room, the kissy woman is giving a lecture. James and Rainbow Dash slip into the back of the class. The woman notices but continues her lecture. During her whole talk, she keeps her eyes on the man in the back of the room.

‘... Archaeology is very painstaking work. After hours of digging, artefacts are uncovered using an array of tiny brushes. Most importantly, “X” never, ever marks the spot.’

The bell rings at the end of class.

‘Remember, you have a test next Wednesday. Reading is chapters five through eight in Jones. See the TAs for your essays.’

The professor talks with a couple of her students before heading to the back of the class to meet her guests. She gives James a coy smile.

‘Hey, sexy,’ she greets.

‘Hi!’ Rainbow Dash replies.

The woman winks. ‘You’re cute too.’ She runs a finger up James’ chest. ‘Told ya I’d see ya around. I have office hours now if you're interested in a private study session.’

‘Professor Do, I presume?’ James says.

‘Wait! You’re Daring Do!’ Rainbow Dash gapes.

Daring smiles and winks. ‘Always great to meet fans.’

‘Your books never mention your classes.’

Daring sighs. ‘Yeah. My editor has me drop a lot of content to keep it appealing to my fanbase. Lots of really, uh, exciting things get cut as well.’ She winks at James. She holds a hand out to Rainbow Dash. ‘I take it you want an autograph.’

Rainbow Dash beams, holds out her book and nods excitedly. ‘Make it out to Rainbow Dash.’

Daring signs the inside cover. ‘ “To my number one fan.” Here you go, Miss Dash. Love the hair, by the way.’

‘Thanks!’ Dash giggles.

‘And you, cutie?’ Daring asks James.

‘I’m good. We just came so she could meet you.’

‘You’re leaving so soon? Why don’t you stay a bit and chat? You can bring your girlfriend with you.’

‘She’s not my girlfriend.’

‘So you’re single.’

‘No, she’s just not my girlfriend.’

‘A handsome man with a beautiful girl on his arm who isn’t his girlfriend? I’d love to see how cute the real deal is.’

‘Very cute,’ James and Rainbow Dash answer in unison.

All of them... James thinks.

Daring smirks. ‘Even more interesting. Well, I hope to meet you again, Mister..?’

‘I’m The Wandering Physicist.’

‘We just call him Jimmy,’ Rainbow Dash adds.

‘Physicist... Are you here for the conference? I knew you looked familiar! You’re the person I am supposed to protect!’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘The big science conference this week. There is supposed to be a big presentation by a world famous physicist proposing a new energy source. Celestia herself wrote me asking to safeguard him from external threats.’ She checks James out again. ‘I am going to love this assignment.’

‘Sweet. We totally get to hang out with Daring Do!’ Rainbow Dash squeezes her cheeks together. ‘So awesome!’

‘Uh... I am not who you think I am... We really should be going...’

Daring pulls a letter from her jacket pocket. ‘No way! Royal orders.’ She presses against the nervous man. ‘I am going to stay on top of you 24/7.’

‘Uh....’

James and Rainbow Dash sit in a hotel room. The woman looks at her autographed book and squeals. She lays back on her bed and giggles.

James scowls at the letter from Celestia. ‘This is just revenge,’ he grumbles. ‘I spend a few hundred of her years poking holes in her misguided policies, and this is the thanks I get?’

‘Calm down, Jimmy. You are forgetting the most important part. We get to hang out with Daring Do! The coolest person to ever live! Well, not counting me, of course.’

James snorts. ‘That’s it. As soon as this is over, I am giving her hell about Luna again. I think I’ll even stand by the Discord statue, too. Really test her patience.’

‘Jimmy! Come on! Daring Do!’

‘Yeah. You’d be less excited if she spent our entire meeting trying to get her hands in your pants.’

‘Hell yeah, I’d be less excited! I’d be more naked, panting and passed out in her arms!’

‘Ugh. I am definitely telling your girlfr... boyfrie... … Who the hell are you dating anyway?’

Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes. ‘Pfft. You don’t need to date someone to sleep with them.’

James lowers his mobile. ‘Twilight is never saying “yes” to your pestering after she sees this vid.’

‘You wouldn’t.’

‘Listen. We just have to make it through this conference. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to find out what I am supposed to talk about so I can prepare.’

James goes to the door. Daring Do is leaning in the frame. She simpers at the sight of her guest.

‘Care for a tour before I take you to dinner?’ the archaeologist offers.

‘What do you say, Dash?’

‘Ah yeah! I’d love it!’

‘Great!’ James pushes past, putting a hand on Daring’s shoulder. ‘She’s all yours. Dash, call me when you are heading to dinner.’

Daring growls at the man walking away from her. She turns back to the room and is immediately confronted by Rainbow Dash’s smiling face.

‘So where are we going first?’

James grumbles to himself as he comes out of his TARDIS and locks the door.

‘Solar PVs? Really? You would think I would be more original. Then again, electricity from the sun could be an indirect joke at stealing her powers...’ He laughs. ‘Oh. I am clever.’

He turns around and stops at the gun in his face.

‘Obviously not that clever,’ a feminine voice replies.

The person behind the gun comes into the light. She is a striking woman with long silver hair and a very smug grin. James sighs and relaxes.

‘Oh. It is just you, Trixie.’ A thought hits him. ‘Wait. She’s not in her eighties. Amelia? No, she would have shot me now just for implying that...’

‘I have no idea who that Trixie or Amelia are. They sound like wonderful people, though. No! I am The Beautiful and Wonderful Victoria!’

Victoria poses dramatically, with her hands in the air. James calmly walks past, taking the magazine from the gun and ejecting the chambered round as he goes.

‘I am definitely believing ego is a genetic thing now,’ he mumbles.

‘What? Hey! Stop it! I am trying to capture you!’

‘Not doing a good job!’ James shouts from the other end of the quad.

‘Get back here! Vicki demands it!’

Vicki screams and throws down her gun.

James sits with Rainbow Dash and Daring Do at a table in a fancy restaurant. Daring has a large prawn in her mouth when the third member of the party arrives.

James sighs he checks out the menu. ‘You guys order yet?’

Daring shakes her head, causing the prawn tail to shake.

‘Not yet,’ Rainbow answers. ‘Just these appetizers.’

‘Good. Good. So, I picked you out a change of clothes. Also, Trixie’s grandmother tried kidnapping me. I left the clothes at the hotel. I hope I got the right size.’

‘Damn it!’ Dash swears. ‘What is with that family? First, she made fun of me when we first met. Then, her mother made fun of me when we were at Lyra’s place. Now, her grandmother is trying to ruin my adventure.’

‘Yeah. And me getting a gun in my face is totally not important.’ He groans. ‘I should have just let Vicki take me just to make you jealous of that, too.

Rainbow Dash pouts. ‘I might not have been jealous. Maybe.’

Daring swallows her prawn. ‘I don’t know who this Trixie is, but I know Vicki. She is harmless. She’s a bit of a klutz and has short fingers, but she can get the job done.’

James raises an eyebrow. ‘By job, why do I assume that you don’t mean kidnapping people? Also, I thought her whole family were performers. Why is Vicki out kidnapping people?’

‘She has debts. She doesn’t get enough gigs to pay them off so she rents her celebrity to various groups that need a pretty distraction.’ Daring stuffs another prawn in her mouth. ‘If shtheeth thear, then troful ith thur toth thollow.’ She swallows. ‘So good.’

‘I am so glad you leave your eating habits out of the books,’ James groans.

‘Whath wrong wif ther habith?’ Dash says, spitting prawn bits.

The next day. James, Rainbow Dash and Daring attend a reception for the gathering scientists. Rainbow dashes from server to server to try each of the appetizers. James makes his way around the room with Daring hanging on his arm. She insists it is for security purposes. He finds a group of chatting scientists and listens in.

‘... Creating new particles from pure energy is sheer madness. It violates all known laws of science,’ a gruff scientist states.

The others nod in agreement. James groans.

‘It might seem to violate classical physics, but it is perfectly justifiable in relativity and quantum mechanics,’ James corrects. ‘Hell, pull a quark from a baryon and QCD quickly spawns new ones to take its place.’

The scientists stare at the physicist in shock.

‘Sir, are you suggesting that the new physics is somehow better than what we use now?’

‘Not really better. More accurate is a’ -- he laughs -- ‘more accurate term.’

‘It makes no sense! The twin paradox...’

‘Is perfectly understandable if you take into account the fact you have to turn the spaceship around. General rel, man! It is just tensor algebra.’

‘You can’t be serious about spontaneous particle production.’

‘Zero-point energy is perfectly solvable. Besides, haven’t you ever observed an electron-positron annihilation? Two particles come in and two gammas come out.’ He holds his hands up defensively. ‘I know, I know. Photons are particles too, but you are going from leptons to carrier particles. Just follow your Feynman diagrams and everything works out perfect.’

The gruff scientist snorts. ‘Just who do you think you are?’

James smirks. ‘Guest of honor.’

The scientist turns away and goes back to his audience. James sighs and continues around the room. Daring giggles.

‘It is good being on the outside of one of those arguments for once. I have been arguing for years that Celestia is centuries old.’

‘You don’t know the half of it.’ James looks around the room. ‘I know I am speaking from a higher position than I should, but this is like looking at the dark ages of modern science. There is so much happening all at once, but the biggest innovators are being treated like heretics. The new science will eventually win but seeing the clashes firsthand... This is one of the reasons why I left. Too much stagnation. You have to get out there and try new things once and awhile. Meet new people. Eat strange foods. Grip a little tighter and slightly higher up if you are trying to mimic Daring, Vicki.’

‘What?’ Vicki squeaks. ‘How did you know?’

‘One, Daring is definitely more aggressive than you. Two, she has longer fingers. Three, I smelled the bacon-wrapped shrimp long before she and Dash spotted the plate.’

‘Hmpf! It doesn’t change the fact that I have you now. Come with me.’

James keeps walking, but away from the exits. Vicki tries pulling his arm.

‘I said come! Don’t make me force you.’

‘Now you sound like Daring,’ James groans as he stops. ‘Vicki. We are one step from the dance floor. You go for that knife in your nylons, I sweep you off your feet. ... Literally. I am a bad dancer.’

The woman growls and tightens her grip on the man’s arm. ‘You are so infuriating.’

‘So I’ve been told. Who are you working for? Why do they want me?’

‘I cannot tell you. Do you think my allegiances can be so easily swayed?’

‘You would think someone tasked to kidnap a person would at least be told why she was hired. Are you happy being in debt to a cruel master?’

‘How do you..?’ She shakes her head. ‘No, I do not like my debts but working with him has brought me plenty of fame. Once I am free, all of the production companies will be begging for my stardom.’

‘Meaning: that welt you got a couple days ago was because you were begging to be free to accept an option for a career-making film.’

Vicki slaps James. ‘Do you think you know me! You are as bad as he is!’

The woman turns to storm away, but her hand is caught.

‘You are a free woman. You didn’t take crap from me. You don’t have to take it from him.’

Vicki pulls her hand free and pushes out of the hall. Daring walks over with a plate of food.

‘Wow. I haven’t seen her that upset since... Well, let’s just say she had less clothes.’

‘She just told me everything I needed to know, except for who is pulling her strings.’

‘Neat. Usually I have to...’

‘I can guess,’ James groans.

‘Why guess when I can show you?’

‘I have several girlfriends who will be quite upset with you if you try. One in particular would literally burst into flames.’

Daring runs a finger up James’ chest. ‘Well, I am quite good at keeping secrets, Mr Wanderer.’

‘I will make you cry if you keep this up.’

Daring slaps James. ‘Lighten up, will you! You have been a stick in the mud since you showed up. It wouldn't kill you to lighten up for one moment.’

Daring stomps away towards the bar. Rainbow Dash comes over and shrugs at her friend.

‘Seems you’re losing your touch with the ladies, Jimmy.’ She looks around. ‘Any chance you can do what you have been doing on Twilight. I ask for a friend.’

James takes a deep breath and groans. ‘I have been a bit of an ass, haven’t I?’ He closes his eyes. ‘Think. What would be a good way to make it up to her?’

‘You mean aside from sleeping with her? If you can’t think of anything, I’ll take your place. I mean, she is hot!’

‘I think I got it.’

‘What?’

James smirks. ‘Do your reading, Dash. You might learn something.’

James pats his friend’s back and leaves to find Daring.

Daring sits in her office. The room is filled with papers, books, journals, mail and artefacts. Sticking from the waste bin is a copy of the last manuscript she sent to her editor. A bottle of liqueur and a gun sits on her desk. A whirring is heard outside her door. She grabs the gun and aims, just as James pushes the door open. She sighs and sets down the gun. The man slips a cylindrical object into his pocket.

‘Pretty weak defence if you just have one bullet in the gun.’

‘I just need one in this case.’

James pulls a scroll from his pocket and sets it on the desk. ‘Peace offering.’

‘What is it?’

‘An ancient starmap. You can have it. I have a few.’

Daring examines the scroll. ‘This has to be hundreds of years old, but it looks new. Where did you get it?’

‘Nicked it from Celestia a while back. She was being a real pain about her sister, and that was one of the props I used as an example of all of the good she once did.’ He smiles. ‘Her guards had to keep her from biting my face off. Good times.’

Daring stares at the strange man before her. She shakes her head. ‘No. This is not enough.’

James groans. ‘I know, but I won’t give in. I am faithful.’

‘Then I guess we are at an impasse.’

‘Not really. I convinced the organizers that Celestia okayed having an open bar.’

Daring lifts her gun again. ‘And you are in my way.’

James laughs and moves out of the archaeologist’s way.

The Tired Physicist returns to his hotel room after a long day of meeting and correcting scientists from his distant past. The day was made easier after Daring Do left him for the open bar, but her lack of presence is troubling. He sonics the lock and pushes the door open. He instantly screams and slams the door shut again.

‘You could at least put a sock on the door or something!’

The Embarrassed Physicist groans and goes to find something to eat.

Daring Do enters the hotel bar. She scans the room and find James sitting at the bar drinking a soda from the bottle. She smiles and takes a seat next to him. He blows bubbles in his drink as he takes a sip.

‘You know, one usually knocks,’ Daring jokes.

‘Sock. On door. How hard is that?’

Daring laughs. ‘Sorry. We just got a little carried away thanks to the booze.’ She laughs again. ‘In case you ever wondered, the carpet matches the drapes.’

James nearly spits his drink out. ‘I never wondered nor did I want to find out.’

‘Seriously? She is really attractive. How have you not even fantasized about hitting that?’ She stops the bartender. ‘Give me one of what he’s having. Freshen his, too.’

The bartender opens and sets a pair of sodas on the bar. James sighs and finishes his current drink.

‘Miss Do, how many times do I have to tell you that I have several girls waiting for me back home?’

‘You’re just being a stick in the mud. How many times do I have to tell you to lighten up?’

Both adults take a drink of their sodas.

‘Last time I was asked to speak at a conference, I was kidnapped and nearly killed. This time, it is nearly both.’

‘See! That is why you need me. Someone’s gotta watch your ass.’

‘Vicki got to me this afternoon because you were chasing snacks.’

‘Pfft! Told you, she is harmless. I’m watching for the big boss. I think it is a foreign power wanting to weaponize your energy solution.’

‘Ugh. Where is the internet when I need it? I’d just post it in the right places and everyone would get unlimited electricity for minimal investment.’

‘The hell’s an internet?’

James sips his drink. ‘Something your grandkids will love, your kids will try to destroy and you will never understand.’

Daring snorts. ‘I have seen things you wouldn’t believe. Try me.’

‘Okay.’ James finishes his drink and orders another one. ‘Imagine a global information exchange. Anyone in the world can be connected to everyone at the same time. The truest definition of freedom.’

‘Sorta like a giant radio exchange. Cool. I’d love to see it. I guess it is my turn.’

‘Whatevs.’

Daring gets another soda. ‘The original palace and The Elements of Harmony. Found it deep in the Everfree Forest. Had to escape the Shadowbolts just to get out alive.’

‘Rainbow’s Loyalty. Nice try, though.’ James thinks. ‘Ah! Video games. Electronic entertainment where you can play as anyone and do anything. People can even be you if they want.’

‘Sounds like Nightmare Night to me.’ She thinks. ‘Fought a dark wizard of Discord who used magic stones to rip people’s still-beating hearts out of their chests. Scary.’ She puts her hand to her chest. ‘Really scary.’

‘Cybermen. Mechanical shells with living brains.’

‘Found the Golden Scootaloo. Got a little help (and a lot of relief) from Vicki on that adventure too.’

James gets out his mobile and sets it on the bar. ‘Checkmate.’

Daring picks up the device. ‘What is..?’ She touches the screen. A list of all of the available apps appears before her. ‘A portable telephone, record player, movie theater, radio, library and that internet thing? Fascinating.’ She sets it back down. She rummages in a pocket and sets a wad of fabric on the bar. ‘Careful with those. I nearly died getting them.’

‘What the..?’ He picks up the fabric and turns bright red.

A sun crest on a pair of panties greets The Shocked Physicist. Daring smirks at the frozen man.

‘Celestia’s own,’ Daring brags. She takes the panties and stuffs them back into a pocket. ‘Your toy was nice, but these will fetch millions on the black market. Not that I am ever going to give them up...’

James takes a long drink. ‘Snogged her.’

‘What!’

‘Twice. Then she threw me on the bed and tried doing what you want to do. Came a lot closer than you will.’

‘Lies!’

James looks over and smirks. ‘Really?’

Daring looks into the man’s eyes and sighs. ‘Fine. Whatevs, as you say. Just wish I had proof of me and Chryssy... She’s a queen, you know.’

‘I am sure you had plenty of queens.’

The archaeologist snorts and goes back to her drink.

James finishes his and gets up. ‘Think Dash has had enough time to shower and get decent?’

‘Only one way to find out.’

‘Right.’ James activates his mobile. ‘Dash? You dressed? Well, you have until I get back to the room. Bye.’

‘Can I get one of those?’

‘Maybe in another sixty years if you are still around.’ He walks away from the bar. ‘See ya tomorrow.’

‘Right... If I am still around...’ She looks up. ‘Vodka, and leave the bottle.’

James steps out of the shower, screams and goes back in.

‘Hey, sexy,’ Daring greets.

‘Get the hell out of here!’

‘Sorry,’ she smirks. ‘Looks like you were glad to see me, though.’

‘OUT!’

Daring laughs to herself and steps out of the washroom. James fumes and finds his towel.

‘What the hell is wrong with you!’

Daring leans against the door. ‘Miss Dash was playing a game of basketball with some students when I found her this morning. She let me borrow her key. Just felt like surprising you.’

James throws the door and storms past.

‘You are the most immature, sex-obsessed, pervert I have ever encountered. Even my daughter is mellower than you.’

‘Is she cute?’

James stops and turns to face Daring. ‘Don’t ever say that again. She is just fifteen. If you even mention her again, no matter the context, I will make you regret ever being born.’

‘Sheesh. Fine.’

James growls and starts gathering his clothes to dress in the washroom.

‘I was quite impressed, you know,’ Daring comments.

The washroom door opens, and a bar of soap hits the archaeologist in the head.

‘If you do anything sexual towards me today, so help me...’

Daring sighs. ‘Fine. Ruin all of my fun.’ She flops onto one of the beds. ‘I’m sorry, okay? I was just messing around.’

James returns to the room, dressed in a sharp suit. He looks at his escort, adjusts his glasses and walks out of the room.

‘You look handsome.’

‘Daring, I am going to be mad at you today. Please don’t give me a reason to find Vicki so I can get away from you.’

‘I am really...’

‘Daring. No. Just no.’

Daring groans and follows her charge to the conference.

James and Rainbow Dash work on setting up a ballroom before his big presentation. Rainbow Dash tests a projector while James types on his laptop.

‘Ya sure something like this will work?’ Dash asks.

‘I was really bored during that talk on new supernovae discoveries and the possibility of an expanding universe, so I wrote most of my presentation then. Just finishing up.’

‘Yeah, but HD projector and laptop? Think they won’t ask you about those instead?’

‘Dash, I am going to be telling them about technology that uses elements and materials that haven’t been made yet and processes backed up by mathematics that haven’t been invented yet. The plan is to take the whole time so they don’t ask any questions.’

‘Ugh. One of the boring, Twilight-like lectures. I usually sleep through those until it is my turn to talk again.’

James lowers his mobile. ‘You are definitely making a winning case.’

Rainbow Dash huffs and plays with the projector. ‘No wonder Daring hates you.’

The athlete presses a button and a holographic display appears over the projector.

‘She hates me?’ James asks.

‘You were all she talked about when we were drinking last night. She sounded upset.’

‘She is only upset because she hasn’t gotten to do to me what she did to you.’

‘You’d love it. All I’m going to say about that.’

James sighs and stops typing. ‘She really doesn’t like me?’

‘Well... I don’t know. She was upset last night, yeah, but I was pretty thrashed, too, so my memory is a little fuzzy between the bar and the bedroom.’

‘Geez. I really wouldn’t blame her, though. I have been kind of a jerk.’

‘Kinda a jerk? The way you have acted towards her makes Celestia and Discord look like you and Twilight.’

‘Thanks, Dash.’ He gives a long sigh. ‘I’ll make it up to her after the presentation.’

‘Yeah, that might work on Twilight or Fluttershy or any of the others, but it ain’t workin’ now. You’re going to find her and apologize for being a dick.’

‘On that topic, she did walk in on me in the shower this morning. I have a reason to be pissed.’

‘I heard about that. Heard she liked what she saw.’

‘Even more of a reason for me to be mad.’

‘That was a compliment, you dope!’

‘If I ambushed you in the shower..?’

Rainbow Dash shrugs. ‘I don’t know. Heard Shy is into that. Might be hot.’

‘Ugh! Whatever.’ James closes his laptop. ‘I’m done. I’m going to the room to rest. Don’t let anyone in before the scheduled time.’

‘Can I use your computer?’

‘If you can guess the password.’

‘Twilight Sparkle. Easy.’

James points his sonic at the laptop. ‘If you can guess the new password.’

‘What is Rei’s last name again?’

A Japanese dictionary is tossed at the woman as James leaves the room.

The Nervous Physicist takes a few deep breaths to calm himself as he makes his way back to his hotel room. A nice quiet nap is all he... Why is Daring Do in her underwear and posing on his bed?

‘Not who I was expecting, but it’ll do.’

James rubs his temples. ‘No open bar today. What are you doing here? I think I know who you were looking for...’

‘No, no. You’ll do fine.’

‘Daring. Get out. Now. Don’t even dress. Just leave. I don’t want to deal with you right now.’

Daring pulls up her pants. ‘Sorry about just now. I really didn’t mean it.’

‘Yeah. I know. Just.... Why? Why are you so obsessed? What do you get from it?’

‘I don’t know. I like the rush I guess. It is like adventuring. I just like feeling alive. Even if it is for one brief moment.’

‘You live for the rush, huh? Knew Dash would get along well with you. Where we’re from, she is always doing something to keep the blood pumping.’

‘It is not really the same thing,’ Daring sighs. ‘She is doing it for fun. I am doing it...’

The archaeologist stares at the man for a moment then looks away and shakes her head. James goes to the woman and tries looking in her eyes.

‘What’s bothering you? I can keep a secret. Trust me. After tonight, you will never see me again.’

‘I wish you didn’t mean that. You’re going to try sneaking out without a goodbye kiss.’

‘Yeah, because the welcome kiss was so needed.’

‘That was the only time I felt any affection from you!’ Daring screams. ‘Why do you hate me? What is wrong with my body? Why can’t you love me?’

‘I have several women chasing me already! I keep telling you that!’

‘So! It doesn’t matter if you have a girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife. It is just sex! Stupid, meaningless sex! … Just the only time I feel connected to someone... anyone...’

‘But you’re Daring Do. The greatest adventurer that will ever live. There has to be someone on this planet you are close to.’

‘I have no one. I am so alone. I started adventuring to get away from the loneliness. The short thrill was just an escape.’

‘Don’t say that. I am sure there is someone out there for you.’

‘I am thirty years old and have never been on a proper date in my life. You have no idea what that is like.’

‘I know that feeling ten times over. I know it feels bad, but someone as strong and confident as you can find someone she likes.’

‘I like you.’

‘Anyone except me.’

Daring hits James in the chest. ‘You are the only person to reject me. Stop it! Just take me now! Do whatever you want to me! Just stop rejecting me!’

‘No! I can’t. I won’t. I have someone who is too dear to me that would hate me forever if I did.’

‘You ass...’

Daring hits James again and starts sobbing. The Sympathetic Physicist sighs and comforts the woman.

‘That special person... She never thought she would find someone she likes. She just happened to stumble into my life. She is the one I care for more than anyone else, even myself.’

‘You’re an ass for telling me that.’

‘I am trying to say, in my own awkward way, that if someone like her can happen into love... If someone as horrible as I can find true love, the great Daring Do can find real love too.’

Daring leans against James. ‘You’re not horrible.’

‘I’ll chalk that lie up to your emotions.’

Daring sighs and returns the embrace she is receiving. After a silence, she whispers, ‘Do you know why I have only one bullet in my office gun?’

James closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and hugs tighter. ‘I can guess.’

‘That is where I want to be found. Surrounded by all of that history. Perfect place to become history.’

‘I’d sooner take that bullet for you than let my friend waste her life.’

‘You actually called me a friend.’

Daring grips tighter and sobs again. James takes another deep breath. Just in time to ruin the somber moment, the door is kicked in and several large men barge in. They aim guns at the two occupants.

‘Come with us, please.’

‘I appreciate you asking nicely, but we are having a bit of a moment here,’ James replies.

The lead man presses his gun against the back of James’ head then moves it to point at Daring. ‘Boss just wants you. Said nothing about a girl.’

James groans and raises his hands. Daring lets go and does the same. They are forced from the room. In the hallway, Vicki watches as the men escort their prisoners away. James looks back and shakes his head. Vicki reaches for the others but stops. She drops her head and follows the group down the hallway.

The blindfold covering James is removed revealing a large laboratory. He looks around to get his bearings. Beside him, a despondent Daring Do stares at the ground. They have several armed guards surrounding them. A group of scientists work on the far side of the laboratory.

‘Yep. This is more my kind of physics conference.’

A well-dressed man enters the room followed closely by Vicki.

‘... I don’t care!’ the man yells. ‘You failed. Your debt is increased due to all of the time you wasted.’

‘That is not fair! I did what you asked! That has to be worth something!’

‘You are lucky I don’t have you shipped back west to work as a cocktail waitress. Now get out of here!’

Vicki flinches and backs away.

‘Come on. She was just doing her job,’ James groans. ‘Let her stay.’

‘Fine. Anything for our honored guest,’ the man grumbles.

Vicki stops and gives a weak smile to the captives. The man paces in front of James and Daring, taking them in. He stops in front of James and smiles.

‘Reginald Skybound of Skybound Industries. It is a pleasure.’

James groans, ‘Great. Another Skybound.’

‘Have we met before?’

‘No, but I have had dealings with your company before.’

‘All good, I hope.’

‘Depends on your definition of “good”.’

Skybound shrugs. ‘You have to break a few eggs... Anyway, do you know why you are here?’

‘There is no way you can weaponize my energy source... except if it is a solar-powered death ray.’ He stops to think. ‘Hmm. Green. Deadly. Less gamma radiation than the Incredible Hulk. I’ll do it!’

‘You’re an ass,’ Daring moans.

‘Weapons? How droll. No. I am a businessman. I am going monetize the hell out of it.’

‘Ugh. Businessmen. Worse than dark wizards,’ Daring snorts.

‘You just lack vision, Miss Do. I own land. I own manufacturing.’ He glances back at Vicki. ‘I own people.’ He walks around the room. ‘My father started this company as a small-time construction firm. I took it national. I literally built a city out of the desert. We expanded beyond that. We make everything anyone would want. With his new energy source, we can tap a whole new market of cheap energy on demand. We will become the power switch to the nation. All of your land, electricity and products will have my name on them. I will control the country, and you will pay me to do so.’

‘The pursuit of money will only get you so far. One day, it will all come toppling down. Once the princess is aware of your schemes...’

‘Oh. We are preparing for that. I have top men working on it.’

James scoffs. ‘Top men? They are doing it all wrong.’ He shouts to the scientists, ‘Nice try! Try an element that might actually work!’

Skybound laughs. ‘Good thing we have you here. You can help them once you are finished giving us the designs for your new energy source.’ He nods to his men. ‘And we have incentive.’

James hears the sounds of guns being readied beside him. ‘I have a few conditions.’

‘It is only fair.’

‘First, nothing happens to Daring. She is to remain safe this entire time.’

‘Done.’

‘Second, I am going to need some supplies from my companion. Can I get a piece of paper to write her a note?’

Skybound sighs. He waves a henchman over to unbind James and give him the paper. James quickly scribbles a note, but he crumples it up and starts over.

‘That was all wrong. Here is what I really need.’

Skybound reads the note. ‘Get it for him. Doesn’t look like anything dangerous. Anything else?’

‘Finally, Vicki is free.’

‘What?’

‘Tear up her contract right now or I will not even get started.’

‘What does she matter? She tried kidnapping you and failed miserably at it.’

‘Do you think we would have been kidnapped if she hadn’t used her acting skills to distract me and Daring from your goons? We would not be here right now if not for Vicki.’

Skybound groans. ‘It is your stupid wish. It will be done. She will be free to pursue her career elsewhere. Now, get to work. We’ll hold on to Daring until you are done.’

Before Daring can complain, her mouth is gagged, and she is carried away. A henchman unties James’ legs, and he stands. Skybound motions to the other scientists. The Unbound Physicist sighs and walks over, plucking his glasses from Vicki’s pocket as he goes.

‘Now, let’s actually see what you were doing wrong...’ James studies the equations written down. ‘Oh, no. No. No! You got this going all wrong! First of all, you are using too light an element. You need something heavier, like plutonium. Second, you need to fire it at great speeds. Something like... Oh... Twilight is going to kill me when she hears what I just realized.’ He pats the nearest scientist on the back. ‘Well! Good luck! It’ll take you sixty years, but you’ll get it!’ The sound of the bullet being chambered gets him to stop. ‘Uh... SO! Who knows anything about transistors and PV cells?’

Rainbow dashes back to the hotel room to find James. He is running late for his presentation, and she cannot stall any longer. She rounds a corner to their hallway then instantly rounds back. She peeks down the hall to see a pair of large men outside their hotel room door. She draws her own conclusions about why the men are there, spins around the corner and runs.

The first man turns in time to receive a knee to the face. The second man reaches for his gun, but Rainbow Dash grabs his shoulders as she lands and headbutts him. The short woman lands a little woozy, but standing over two men, both much larger than she is and unconscious.

‘You’re coming with us,’ a man’s voice says from inside the hotel room.

Rainbow Dash looks and puts her hands up at the sight of a drawn gun.

The man holds out James’ note. ‘Your boss said to give you this. You need to get what is on it and come with us.’

Rainbow Dash reaches for the note. As she is about to grab the paper, she knocks the gun aside. She knees the man in the stomach then kicks his face while he is doubled over. She snatches the note as it falls.

‘Ha! AJ’s boxing ain’t got nothing on my kung fu.’

She reads the note, but the instructions make no sense. That is when she feels bumps on the paper. She looks around the room and finds a pencil. She sketches over the paper to reveal a hidden message in the indentations.

Dash, get to the ship. Its sensors should detect this message and allow you to enter. It will do everything from there. Daring and Vicki are fine. They are with me. It is safe. Hey, you thought Trixie’s family was bad? We got Skybound’s ancestor as the main villain this round. Oh! Gotta go. They are getting suspicious. Don’t bring a gun or I will be cross. Best, James. PS: Holy cow! You were right about Daring’s body! … PPS: The TARDIS should destroy the note, so if you will kindly not tell Twilight when we get back...

Rainbow Dash sighs, puts the note in her pocket and runs out of the room.

James gets shoved into a cell by one of Skybound’s henchmen. The door is slammed and locked behind him. He looks around and taps a wall.

‘Daring? That you?’

‘Go to hell, collaborator!’

‘Good to hear your voice. How have they been treating you?’

‘I’ve been locked in this dank cell while you have been out there laughing it up and having fun with your new friends.’

‘Don’t worry. Dash is on her way. They found the men they sent to retrieve her, and the note was gone. She should be here soon.’

James’ cell door unlocks. Vicki steps into the room and closes the door behind her.

‘One little girl versus all of Skybound’s organization? You have high hopes.’

James smiles. ‘One little girl was all it took last time.’

‘I should turn you in for plotting an escape.’

‘Do you really want to go crawling back to him?’

Vicki crosses her arms. ‘Why did you save me? I have brought you nothing but trouble.’

‘As far as I can tell, you are Daring’s friend.’ A laugh comes from the next cell. ‘She really enjoys your company.’ A groan comes from the next cell. ‘See how pleased she is about you just being here.’

‘Jackass!’ Daring shouts.

‘And any friend of Daring’s is a friend of mine. Also, your granddaughter is dating a guy I am sorta mentoring so it would be good if you got out there and had children.’

Vicki is confused. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’

‘Just remember, when you are a famous performer, keep in touch with Daring. It will mean a lot to both of us.’

‘Why did you really stick up for me? Be honest.’

James takes a deep breath. ‘I didn’t like seeing you suffer under Skybound. You are too good a person and have too bright a future to waste with him. All of that about Daring needing a friend is true, too.’

‘Lies!’

‘Who are you? Really?’ Vicki asks. ‘I saw inside your box thing when we first met. You seem to know everything about everyone. And then there are these.’ She holds out James’ mobile and sonic. ‘What are these?’

James grins. ‘Can I have those back?’

‘First answer my questions.’

‘I am The Wandering Physicist. A time traveller. I came here with my friend Rainbow Dash to meet her idol, Daring Do. Thanks to some previous and future tampering, Celestia somehow knew to trap me with this convention, resulting in this fiasco of an adventure.’

Vicki quickly writes everything down. ‘I am so using this...’

‘I already gave Daring the rights to the book. Sorry. Maybe they will make a movie about it some day.’

Vicki snorts. ‘They better!’

James holds out his hands. The upset woman returns the technology.

‘Are you coming with us or do you have your own way out?’

‘I have secreted many things from all of Skybound’s holdings. Escape is a mere parlor trick compared to what I am truly capable of.’

‘Yep. Ego is genetic. Go to the door at the far end of the hall. Dash should let you in.’

‘What are you..?’

James walks out of the cell and sonics the lock on Daring’s cell. He swings the door open and holds a hand toward the encaged woman.

‘M’lady.’

‘Bite me,’ Daring snarls. ‘What is that thing?’

‘What does it look like?’

Daring glances below James’ belt. ‘It looks about one-eighth scale.’

‘It is a screwdriver!’

‘From what I have seen, yes, yes it is.’

‘Are you coming or not?’

Daring snorts. ‘I would continue our playful banter, but I am serious when I ask if that is a trick question.’

‘We are trying to rescue you.’

‘From your buddy? No thanks.’

‘I didn’t give him any useful information and may have inadvertently destroyed a file cabinet...’

‘What?’

‘There was a couple live wires and some loose papers and maybe I dropped a container of methane nearby... but that is not important. We’re leaving.’

‘Go to hell! I hate you!’

‘Not even Rei is this stubborn...’

James marches over and lifts Daring. She screams as he throws her over his shoulder. He flinches with every kick and punch.

Vicki sighs then laughs at the scene. ‘She was the same way when I told her I would distract the guards so she could retrieve the idol and escape. … Only, she had a lot less...’

‘I know!’ James shouts. ‘Dash! Little help? My hands are full.’

A door down the hall opens. Rainbow Dash leans out and motions the others in.

‘I think it is about to hit the fan out there,’ the athlete comments once the others are on board. ‘Looks like the military is storming the place.’

‘Yeah. We’re going to have to do something about that...’

James sets Daring down and goes to the console. The archaeologist and performer stare in awe at the ship.

‘Ooo. I love this trick,’ Vicki muses.

‘B-b-b-bigger on the inside,’ Daring gapes.

‘Oh please,’ the performer groans. ‘Don’t give him any more ammo to use against you. Excuse me! Mr Alien? May I look around?’

‘Nope!’ James replies. ‘Just sit back and wait.’

The woman snorts and finds a place to sit. She lands on a starry cape. She smirks and quickly ties it around her before anyone notices. Daring remains staring in shock. The TARDIS powers down soon after the passengers are settled. James and Rainbow Dash turn towards the doors. The man stops to lift Daring again before all four people leave. They are confronted by several automatic rifles aimed at their faces.

‘Who are you? How did you get in here?’ a man in a military uniform demands.

‘Lieutenant Lethbridge-Stewart, I presume?’ James says.

‘Who are you?’

‘No, that is the other guy. You know who I am.’

‘You’re the one the princess ordered us to watch?’

‘There we go!’ James turns to Rainbow Dash. ‘This is what we get without Shining, am I right?’

‘Barely a looker, too.’

James fist bumps Rainbow Dash and turns back to the angry soldier. ‘Now! Lieutenant, I need you to keep an eye on me and Miss Do here. Well, more precisely, us at the hotel.’

‘But you are here now.’

‘Technically, yes, but the us you are ordered to watch are at the hotel. We are about to get kidnapped in about thirty minutes, and we need you to follow us. It is not that complicated if you don’t think about it.’

‘We’ll have to check out what you are saying.’

‘Oh for crying out...’ James sets Daring down and activates his mobile. ‘Hey, Celi. It is me. I need you to order the soldiers you have spying on me to follow the me and Daring at the hotel and not the ones currently standing in front of him. … Celi, this is me. I knew. Oh! Daring got a little peek earlier today and ended up laying on my bed in her underwear. Jealous?’

James grins and holds his mobile away from his head.

‘I AM NOT JEALOUS!’ Celestia screams over the phone. ‘Lieutenant!’

‘Yes, mum?’

‘Do what he says! Follow the him at the hotel!’

‘Yes, mum.’

‘Thanks, Celi! Love!’

James ends the call and smiles. The lieutenant snorts and adjusts his uniform.

‘Men. We have our orders. Move out.’

The soldiers salute and start deploying.

‘Great! I have a talk to get ready for.’ James turns to the others. ‘Who’s hungry?’

James and Rainbow Dash say their farewells to their adventure partners. Vicki helps them load the projector in what is surely not an excuse to peek back into the TARDIS. Daring and Rainbow Dash exchange a hug.

‘I am going to miss you, Daring. You were so awesome!’

‘Thanks, Miss Dash. It was a pleasure meeting you too.’

‘Excuse me,’ Vicki interrupts. ‘Once I have this onboard, where...’

‘Just in the doorway is fine,’ James finishes.

The woman snorts and joins her friend with the others, her new cape flapping around her. Daring steps over to James. They stare at each other for a moment. Daring puts a hand out.

‘It was nice meeting you, sir.’

James returns the handshake. ‘The pleasure was mine, madam.’ He pulls her close and whispers, ‘Listen... If you are ever feeling hopelessly lonely and really think you might actually do that... call me first and I’ll be there to help you.’

‘How do I reach you?’

‘Just call. I’ll hear it.’

‘Thank you.’

James gives Daring a quick kiss on the cheek. ‘No, thank you.’

The Compassionate Physicist turns back towards his ship, but Daring taps his shoulder. He turns and she throws herself on him in a passionate kiss.

Rainbow Dash cackles as she films the scene on her mobile. ‘Twilight will love seeing this.’

‘And then, and then, after we saved Vicki, I beat up like twenty guards!’ Rainbow Dash brags.

Her friends sigh and nod along with the story. Twilight facehoofs the entire time. Everypony has gathered at the library for a birthday party for Rainbow Dash. The pegasus is sharing the adventure she had with James and Daring Do.

‘Then we met this prissy general dude, I think he was a brigadier or something, and...’

‘Rainbow. Enough,’ Twilight groans. ‘We know you had a fun time on your trip with James, but you have been ripping off Daring Do for the past hour!’

‘Nuh uh! All of that is true!’

The alicorn levitates a book to her friend. ‘Daring Do and The Enigmatic Scientist. You have been telling us most of the plot.’

‘Spoilers!’ the pegasus cries. ‘I haven’t gotten to that one yet. ‘Sides, what’s “enigmatic” mean?’

‘You know dark, mysterious, hidden...’

‘Wandering,’ Rarity adds.

Rainbow Dash stares at the cover until something in her clicks. She rifles through the book. ‘She ripped off my adventure!’ She flips several more pages. ‘She even took out all of the sex scenes!’

The five other ponies cringe at the statement. Rarity is the first to recover.

‘You could always fill us in on those.’

The others glare at the mare.

‘Privately, of course.’

‘Wait minute,’ Applejack speaks up. ‘If Ah remember right, the ways she talks about the scientist in that there book...’

‘Oh! You mean the love of her life,’ Fluttershy adds. She sighs. ‘It really takes away from the story. Feels like it was fluff added only to draw more teenage fillies into the series. If it wasn’t for the kidnapping subplot, I would have skipped it and gone to the next one.’

Pinkie holds up her two front hooves, then she holds up two more, then two more. A lightbulb appears over her head. ‘OH!’

‘We all get it, Pinkie,’ Twilight groans. ‘We know who Daring was writing about.’

‘So in the scene where they end up sharing a bed together while she is protecting him...’

‘Yes, Pinkie. It is all fiction.’

‘And when Dashie said that she...’

‘Yes! I am fine with the kiss!’

‘I meant the shower.’

Twilight glares at her friend, eye twitching. ‘Excuse me for a moment.’

Twilight steps into the basement and swears as loud as she can. The others watch the basement door, waiting for their friend to return. Rarity looks back at Rainbow Dash.

‘So... Those certain scenes of interest...’

After Rainbow Dash’s party, Twilight trots to her room, having finished cleaning up. She sighs and closes the door behind her. Spike is already curled up in his basket. Twilight starts brushing her mane.

‘So, how much of that was true?’ Twilight muses.

‘Anything in her story that matches the book,’ James replies from his position by her door. ‘Except for the sex stuff, but you were downstairs for that, and I was out of the room.’

‘Did she and Daring Do really..?’

‘According to both of them...’

‘Geez, Rainbow,’ Twilight mutters to herself.

‘She is almost done with the series, isn’t she?’

Twilight sets down her brush. ‘She is a couple away from that book, and that is the beginning of the end. I just hope she doesn’t look up her later years.’

‘What later years?’

Twilight cringes. ‘She is going to be so crushed. Her hero. Doing that. It is so...’

James trots over and gives Twilight a hug. ‘Try not to think about it. It is all ancient history now.’

‘I just can’t help but worry for my friend when she finds out.’

‘Look at it this way, she might be too upset about the last book to even care.’

Twilight shudders. ‘Damn refrigerator.’

James kisses Twilight’s forehead. ‘Get some rest. Things like this always have a way of working out.’

‘James... In the book, the scientist rejects her because he...’

‘Who do you think it is?’

Twilight blushes. ‘I love you, too.’

The couple kisses, and James slips out of the room. Twilight sighs and continues getting ready for bed.

Bonus scene! Read if you intend to read any stories after this one!

Author's Note

Any Indiana Jones fan can agree, those damn refrigerators ruin everything!

TWP Timeline: First meeting with Daring Do. TWP takes Daring to the future. TWP designs a nuclear bomb.

Current TWP Love Triangle: Twilight vs Pinkie vs Fluttershy (vs Luna vs Daring vs? Applejack)

Story Timeline: Vicki finds one of Trixie's capes.

Story Event: This story started development as a normal pony story. Then restarted development as a normal pony story. Then again. I was having a really tough time coming up with a good Daring Do x TWP story that would work (development started a couple months ago) until I stepped back and looked at it from a different angle: humanized. From there, the story just started 'working'. I was able to come up with a plot that I liked and get the characters to fit together. A lot of inspiration was drawn from John Joseco's Humanized Daring Do comics (NSFW if you look them up). The story ended up writing better a humanized than a normal pony story. That was the only reason I wrote it that style.

Personally, I really would have preferred this story to be a regular pony story. It is not like I am displeased with how this story turned out. It is just that I don't want to used humanized out of the 'this happened, but not like this' context.

Fun fact: The idea to have Twilight (and thus the world) think Daring killed herself AND have TWP save her in a bonus scene was suggested by my friend @Vertigo234 on Twitter.

Fun Fact: James' warning at the end. It is like a speed limit, just a suggestion. Not a rule :P (What! I am from SoCal. We drive fast and safe.)

Turning Neighponese

Main Characters: Many
Cameos: Sugar Cloud, Shining Armor
Original Write Date: July 8, 2012

The Sleeping Physicist moans as he tries to roll over in bed. A mass on top of him impedes his movement. He cracks his eyes a little. Feathers. Damn it, Rei. The mass is too heavy. He opens his eyes more. Yellow-brown feathers.

‘Damn it, Daring,’ James moans.

‘Hey, cuddly,’ Daring greets.

‘I thought I told you to sleep in your own bed.’

‘Who said anything about sleeping? But now that you’re up...’

The Amorous Archaeologist rolls on top of The Pinned Physicist and leans in for a kiss. James dodges but still ends up getting his cheek nuzzled.

‘Can’t you find another way to entertain yourself other than constantly hitting on me?’

‘Sure! Just let me pop out for a quick fly around town to visit my friends, or maybe I can take off for an adventure like I used to have. Oh, right! I can’t! Somepony won’t let me!’

Ever since James helped Daring Do with her depression and brought her to his time, the former archaeologist has been confined to the residence above The Power Block. She has her own room and free access to the rest of the house, but she cannot go out without risking somepony recognizing her. The past week has been hell while James and Daring try to figure out a safe way to let her free. The internet, video games and movies only go so far with somepony used to stretching her wings and flying all around the world.

‘You know that you will be recognized. Do you really want risk being found out?’

‘Yes!’

‘You can’t just throw on a pair of glasses and not have anypony see through you. It is a lot more comp...’ James pauses for a long time. ‘Shut up.’

‘I didn’t say anything.’

‘Not you.’ He points towards the door. ‘Her.’

Rei giggles at the doorway. ‘Daddy finally gets it. Also, get back to the kissy times. Those are fun to watch.’

It is late in the evening when Princess Celestia finally gets to bed. Despite being the Princess of the Day, she still has many duties that must be attended to at night. She climbs into bed and magically seals her chambers so she can get some well-earned rest.

Celestia collapses onto her bed in the least regal fashion, immediately pulling all of the pillows under herself. She does not even bother with a blanket to cover herself as her hind legs give out. Her whole body is in the most undignified of poses, one raised tail short of flagging the next pony to enter the room. Celestia giggles to herself as she imagines the reaction of various members of her staff to her position. She shifts her upper body around to get a little more comfortable when she notices an extra mass on the bed. She turns her head to look and instantly groans at what she sees.

‘Hey, princess,’ James greets as he stares at Celestia’s face.

‘I am so firing the royal locksmith.’

‘Royal locksmith? I hope my taxes don’t pay for that.’

‘What do you want, Mr Wanderer?’

‘Can I borrow your perception filter? I need to make one for a friend, and I want a reference point.’

‘If I do, you are going to owe me.’

‘Well, I heard Octy was going to be doing a concert soon. Still have the rubber bands?’

Celestia sits up, leans towards James and grins. ‘I have something else in mind.’

‘If you try, I am telling Twilight.’

The princess scowls. ‘I despise you.’ She leans back. ‘I assume this has to do with your little friend you picked up.’

‘Whatever do you mean?’

‘I know about Daring Do. You didn’t think you can hide a famous cover-up like that from me, did you?’

James snorts. ‘I’ll have to have some words with Kaeko when I get back.’

‘That is a splendid way for you to make it up to me. It has been so long since I had a holiday...’

‘About a month or so according to your sister.’ He grins. ‘How are your sunburns?’

Celestia growls, ‘My flesh is as pristine and supple as ever, not that you care to find that out.’

‘Is that a wrinkle?’

The princess gasps and turns around. She levitates a mirror over and examines her face carefully. James laughs and hops off the bed. He gets a necklace from atop a dresser.

‘I’ll have this back in the morning, in time for your donut run.’

Celestia magically plucks the necklace from the stallion. ‘Not so fast. You didn’t hear my demand.

‘Blah blah blah you have wrinkles. That is all I need to know.’

‘You mentioned your friend from Neighpon. I mentioned a holiday. I wish for you to take me to Neighpon for a holiday.’

‘Ye-no.’

‘I might have a way of helping with your Daring Do problem on a more permanent basis than risking her with a perception filter. Or do you wish Twilight Sparkle learning you are living with another mare that is still not her?’

James rubs his temple and sits. ‘Fine. I’m listening.’

A short, white pegasus serves Octavia a trenta cup of coffee. The earth pony breathes deep as she holds the cup in her hooves.

‘Thanks, Sugar Cloud. I just wish it came in a bigger size.’

‘Me, too,’ the pegasus sighs.

Octavia holds the drink in her front hooves and walks to a table. She closes her eyes as she takes a long sip. She stops drinking and whips her right foreleg out, drawing a cello bow at the same time.

‘Nice way to thank me for getting us a gig,’ a calm voice replies.

Octavia lowers her drink to see Lyra’s smiling face. The unicorn seems unfazed by the bow at her throat.

‘Who’s the target?’

‘Just our target audience.’

Octavia grumbles and goes back to her coffee.

‘Hear me out!’ Lyra pleads. ‘Our album went platinum as soon as it went gold. We have an obligation to our fans.’

‘That makes no sense. Those are two different numbers of albums sold. You can’t reach both at once.’

‘Sorry. Mr Wanderer has been hiding Daring Do at his place this past week. I have been overloaded with gamer speak.’

Octavia spits out a sip of coffee. ‘He has been what!’

Lyra puts a hoof to her lips. ‘Shh! Quiet! I thought it was your people that helped hide her in the first place. Anyway, we have to get ready for our trip. It is going to be sweet.’

‘Our group was just a cover. Not anything to be taken seriously. We only need it if we have a major threat to deal with.’

‘I booked us at the Budokan.’

Octavia freezes mid-sip. Her coffee starts spilling on her chest and legs. She slowly lowers her cup. ‘Did you just..?’

‘Yep.’

‘And Silver is onboard?’

‘Indeed, I am,’ a new voice says from beside Octavia.

The cellist looks towards the new voice. A neon green pegasus with a shining silver mane is sipping her coffee. She sets down her drink and smiles.

‘It has been too long since I was in Neighpon on anything other than a break-in. And if my fans demand to hear my singing voice again, I cannot deny them.’

‘Then it is settled,’ Octavia nods. ‘We will play the only venue my mother could never book!’

The earth pony poses on her hind legs with a foreleg raised in triumph! Her friends groan at her behaviour.

‘Hells yeah! Let’s rock them!’

Octavia back looks and instantly grimaces. Vinyl is standing right behind her, levitating a drink of her own.

‘We’ll turn that mother out, yo!’ the DJ cheers. The others glare at the loud unicorn. Sugar Cloud hides from the possible confrontation. Vinyl’s grin grows wider. ‘What? Ya weren’t thinkin’ about leaving without your sound engineer, were ya?’

The other ponies groan and go back to their coffee.

Twilight looks into a telescope as she gazes at the heavens. James sits next to her, staring in the same direction. Around them, the other members of the astronomy club watch objects of their own.

‘Isn’t it amazing? Visual proof of dark matter. Theorists win yet again,’ The Wandering Physicist muses.

Twilight looks at her coltfriend. ‘So what were you saying about a trip to Neighpon? Is this some sort of con thing like when we went to Seaddle last month?’

‘Actually, uh, it was just part of a deal to get ahold of a perception filter. I need to borrow Celestia’s.’

‘Can’t you make one of your own?’

‘I could whip up a simple one, but I need to make a more complex one and could use a base for the design.’ He looks over at Selene and Cloudchaser at another telescope. ‘Besides, would you have preferred I ask somepony else?’

Twilight snorts. ‘I much more prefer this way.’ She goes back to the telescope. ‘I’m surprised the princess didn't have another option you could consider.’

‘Uh... Right...’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Furious Physicist stands on Celestia’s back. He has one foreleg around her neck and is aiming his sonic screwdriver at her horn. She is pinned to the ground near a black, insectoid/pony-like creature that is chained to the ground. They are surrounded by royal unicorn and pegasus guards. Shining Armor levitates a spear beside him as he steps forward.

‘Let her go, Wanderer!’

‘After you let it go! You cannot keep a living being as some science experiment!’

‘Mr Wanderer, the creature can teach us things about changeling magic,’ Celestia argues. ‘We can make great strides in our study of illusions and cloaking magic. We can be better prepared in case they come back.’

‘You are torturing the poor creature. Free! It! Now!’

‘Isn’t that what you are doing to me?’ Celestia groans.

‘Only if it is chained for one second longer.’

The princess shudders. ‘You are paying for the entire trip.’

‘I figured as much.’

‘Shining Armor.’

‘Yes, Princess Celestia?’

‘Free the changeling. Let it escape back to the swarm.’

‘Are you sure that is wise? You are not giving into a terrorist threat.’

‘Let’s just say this is far kinder than his argument for granting non-pony citizens the right to vote.’

‘Was that covering the city in poison joke flowers or organizing nationwide protests on your birthday?’

‘The poison joke one. I was the one that helped you fill the parliament building, remember?’

James laughs. ‘Good times.’

‘Uh... Princess?’

Celestia glares at Shining Armor. ‘Just release it already. And find me the general whose idea it was to cage it. I feel a public dressing down is in order.’

‘Y-yes, mum!’ Shining turns to the guards. ‘Guards, release the changeling! We are, uh...’

‘Escort,’ Celestia supplies.

‘We are to escort it from the city.’

‘Country.’

‘Escort it from the country.’

‘Full honor guard, right, Celi?’

‘Indeed, Mr Wanderer.’

Shining Armor groans. ‘Guards... Do as they say.’

The changeling is unbound. It snarls at the guards as it figures out what is going on. James smiles and offers a friendly hoof. It sniffs then backs to a safe corner. Celestia stands, dropping her captor to the ground. She bows to the changeling.

‘You are free to leave now. I humbly apologize for your captivity.’ She turns to James. ‘Is that delicious eatery open late nights?’

‘It should still be open now.’

‘Wonderful! Captain Shining Armor, I am sure you can handle it from here.’

‘Yes, mum...’ Shining Armor groans.

Celestia and James trot out together. The stallion stops to place a hoof on the defeated captain of the guard’s shoulder.

‘No hard feelings, right, bro? Well, I mean except the one. That I have. For you.’

The unicorn grimaces back at his little sister’s coltfriend.

‘Marry me,’ James says bluntly.

‘Mr Wanderer! I’m waiting.’ Celestia calls

James gallops to catch up with the princess. He turns and gives the ‘call me’ motion to the unfortunate unicorn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James stares at his mobile. Twilight stares at the stallion, her eye twitching.

‘You two were behind that?’

‘Yep.’

‘And you hit on my MARRIED brother?’

‘Does he not have my number? I keep sending it to him. Maybe I need to be more direct.’

‘How expensive is this telescope?’

‘Very.’

‘I’ll owe you.’

Twilight levitates the telescope and swings it like a sword. She chases her coltfriend across the park, swinging her delicate weapon. Selene laughs at the couple then turns to Cloudchaser.

‘Anyway, I was saying my sister is planning a holiday. She wants to know if you would like to join us, her treat of course.’

The next afternoon. Twilight has gathered her friends at the library with some big news for all of them.

‘We’re going to Neighpon!’ Twilight squeals. Her friends stare in shock at the announcement. ‘James owes Celestia a favor, and she is making him take us all on the trip. Isn’t that great?’ The other mares do not know how to react. ‘You’re not excited?’

‘This is a little sudden,’ Rarity replies.

‘I know. What are we supposed to pack?’ Fluttershy wonders. The others look at her. ‘What? I have always wanted to visit Neighpon. I am not going to pass up this opportunity.’

‘This ain’t gonna end up like our trip out west, is it?’

‘I don’t think so,’ Twilight replies. ‘James is going to get us all rail passes so we can see the country at our leisure. I know of some places I want to visit that he doesn’t.’

‘Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!’ Pinkie gasps. ‘I have to study Neighponese parties! Twilight!’

The alicorn levitates a book she has prepared for her friend. Pinkie starts tearing through the book.

‘I guess I can find time...’ Rarity thinks. ‘Fluttershy... Stormy and I may need your sewing skills to finish a couple orders before we leave.’

‘I’m happy to help.’

‘What about you, Applejack?’ Twilight asks.

‘A free trip t’ another country? Ya think Ah’m dumb enough t’ say “no”?’

‘Excellent!’ Twilight smiles. ‘Rainbow?’

The pegasus stares ahead of her, frozen. ‘I get to fly over another country? SO! AWESOME!’

The whole group cheers.

‘So, I get to go too, right?’ Daring asks as she follows James into the kitchen.

‘I wouldn’t leave you behind, but I am hiring a handler for the trip.’

‘I handler? Why not just wrap me in a diaper hire a professional foalsitter while you are at it?’

‘I’m a great foalsitter!’ Rei chimes in.

‘Kaeko will do fine,’ James sighs. ‘You’ll hardly notice her.’

‘Kaeko-neesama is coming!’ Rei squeals.

The stallion shudders. ‘This is going to cost a fortune, but we are inviting everypony. Don’t forget to invite In...’

Rei flies out of the building before she hears the rest of the name. James laughs as he starts preparing dinner. Daring watches the filly’s flight before turning back to her host.

‘Aside from my handler, you have some other restriction, right?’

‘Just that, when in public, I ask you to wear the gift I left on your bed.’

Daring trots to her room. She returns holding a jeweled, flower-shaped hairpin.

‘Really? Something this gaudy? It looks like it belongs in a museum.’

‘It is perception filter,’ James explains. ‘As long as you are wearing it, everypony that hasn’t broken the filter will see a pink pegasus with a light blue mane.’

Daring grimaces. ‘That is horrible. You have no eye for color.’

‘All you need is a good cover. You can say your name is “Sally” and that you’re my half-sister if you think the pony will buy it.’

‘I guess it is better than being stuck here... Hey. How do I change the colors so I look, you know, not vomit-inducing?’

‘It took me all day to make that. Be grateful I figured out how to set it on something other than black mane and white coat.’

‘All day? You played games with your customers for a hour, took a break for a quick makeout session with the purple one, lunch with the pink one, locked yourself in your closet for a few hours then just came out now to make dinner.’

James spins around with a frown on his face. He pulls his sonic from nowhere and aims it at the hairpin. He turns back in a huff. ‘There. I randomized it. Now you can’t blame me if you look odd.’

‘Yes I can. You were the one who randomized it.’

‘INKIE SAID YES!’ Rei declares as she flies back into the house. She stops her excitement and looks into the kitchen. ‘Who is the yellow unicorn colt with purple mane you’re talking to, daddy?’

‘You made me a colt!’

James groans and keeps trying to make dinner.

A large group of ponies has gathered at Ponyville Train Station. A number are loading their luggage on the train while others are saying their sayonara to the travelers. Twilight Sparkle is giving the stink eye to a blue pegasus with a yellow-brown and grey striped mane.

‘Who is she?’ Twilight asks James.

The stallion ignores his fillyfriend. ‘All right everypony. We may have booked an entire car for ourselves and filled their baggage car, but the airship ain’t waiting for us. Finish the goodbyes and let’s start packing them in.’

Twilight snorts and follows the stallion as he makes his rounds.

‘Have fun, big sis,’ Apple Bloom encourages. ‘And, uh, can Ah get a better souvenir than a bag o’ seeds this time?’

Applejack laughs and ruffles her sister’s mane. ‘Of course Ah’ll get ya somethin’ nice. Ah’ll make sure t’ get lotsa pictures, too.’

Big Macintosh leans in and whispers to his sister. She blushes bright red.

‘Ah ain’t gettin’ ya a big doll from that creepy show ya like.’

Big Macintosh looks down and whimpers. A kind hoof is placed on his shoulder.

‘I’ll cover you,’ Lucas offers. ‘I plan on hitting Akihabara and Shibuya every day.’

‘What a coincidence. My boss will go with you to all of the trendiest fashion stores,’ Stormy teases. ‘I didn’t know you loved fashion.’

Lucas growls at the other unicorn and turns back to the large earth pony. ‘What show is it?’

Big Macintosh blushes and whispers.

‘Really?!’ Lucas looks around and leans in. ‘Harumi or Motoko?’

‘Motoko.’

The two stallions share a subtle hoof bump. Applejack groans and shakes her head. James stops with the Apples to give Apple Bloom a hug.

‘James. That pegasus...’ Twilight nags.

Sweetie Belle gives her sister a big hug while the unicorn clears up some business before leaving.

‘So you are saying Lucas will go with me to the fashion district?’ Rarity asks Stormy.

‘Rarity!’ the younger unicorn shouts.

‘Oh! You’re still here.’

Sweetie Belle growls and bites her sister’s leg. The older unicorn screams. Stormy trots over to Rarity’s parents and shakes their hooves.

‘Take care of our girl, will ya?’ Rarity’s father says.

‘Don’t worry,’ Stormy assures. ‘As long as I’m around, she’ll be fine.’

‘Help! Get her off!’ Rarity screams, trying to shake Sweetie Belle free. ‘I think she has rabies!’

James laughs at the scene as he trots past.

‘James...’ Twilight growls.

Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo hoof bump. The younger pegasus steps back beside her mother as her mentor boards the train. Flitter gives her best friend a tearful hug.

‘Please take me with you!’ the crying pegasus begs.

Cloudchaser pats her friend on the back. ‘Sorry, but the trip is all booked. I don’t think Mr Wanderer put in any wiggle room.’

‘Nope. Sorry,’ James says as he passes.

‘Who is she!’ Twilight shouts as she follows.

‘Well, in that case...’ Flitter pouts. She sighs. ‘Just remember if Amy or anypony else gives you any trouble, Flitter will be there in a second to defend her CC.’

Cloudchaser laughs. ‘I’ll keep that in mind.’

James drags Twilight, who has latched to his tail, past Pinkie and Inkie getting loaded with snacks from the Cakes to where Rei, Fluttershy and Spike are chatting with the disguised Daring Do and Kaeko. The stallion looks around as everypony files onto the train. He nods and turns to enter. Twilight throws herself on him to stop the stallion once and for all.

‘Can you at least wait until we have a private moment before we do this?’ James asks.

‘Who is she?’ Twilight snaps.

James makes sure nopony is listening, adjusts his glasses, waits until the train whistle blows, leans up and whispers into Twilight’s ear, ‘Remember how you thought Daring Do killed herself...’

Twilight’s eyes go wide as he quickly explains everything to her. She lets the stallion up and backs away.

James dusts himself off. ‘And if you tell anypony...’

Twilight nods and follows her coltfriend onto the train. The train whistle blows again and the train starts pulling away from the station. All of the gathered friends and family wave and cheer their friends on their trip. The travellers crowd the windows to wave sayonara.

Stormy groans at their behavior as he settles for the ride to Canterlot. He looks around and pulls out his mobile once nopony is looking. He activates the video camera. ‘I’ll miss you everyday we are away, Trixie. Love you.’

The unicorn smiles as he sends the recording. The others eventually calm down and settle for the trip, Twilight warily watching the disguised Daring Do.

Bon Bon suns herself on the deck of an airship. No other passengers bother her as she calmly rests during the long trip to Neighpon. In fact, there are no other passengers around her at all until one trots over. Bon Bon recognizes the hoofsteps and sighs.

‘I know your family is rich, but is a private airship really necessary?’

Lyra grins. ‘Yeah... I tried to tell them. But after hearing the “horrors” ’ -- she waves her forelegs for effect -- ‘of flying first class, they insisted that was a worthy investment. Besides, I talked them out of gold-plating it.’

‘Yes, but a giant golden harp on everything?’

‘Well, not everything...’ Lyra spins around randomly. ‘Which is why we are searching your room before you step off the ship when we get to Neighpon.’

Silver freezes midstep. She is holding a drink in one hoof. ‘I didn’t take anything! Why do you always blame the professional thief if something is missing?’

‘Miss Silver,’ Bon Bon begins, ‘this may be the first time we are spending more than a dinner together, but I would think in regular company you would assume we didn’t know nor wanted to find out about your profession.’

‘Sorry. I just figured that with you being married to Lyra and all...’

‘I keep my nose out of her business...’

‘And I keep mine in hers!’ Lyra finishes.

Bon Bon groans.

‘What? I meant I like eating your candy. It was you being gross that time.’

Silver laughs at the couple. Octavia steps onto the deck. She is wearing a large hat tied tightly around her head to keep the wind from messing her mane. She looks at the disturbed Bon Bon, sheepish Lyra and giggling Silver and sighs.

‘I take it Lyra said something inappropriate about her wife again.’

‘Give her ten minutes...’ Bon Bon grumbles.

‘Did she say how nice your flank is? Was that it?’ Octavia blurts out.

Everypony stares at the normally conservative cellist.

‘She may have found your liquor cabinet,’ Silver nervously laughs.

Octavia trots over to the pegasus. ‘Speaking of sauced off her plot, why won’t your mom lighten up?’

‘Uh...’

‘As soon as she got the headmaster position, she has been nothing but work, work, work! She even started in the middle of the off season.’

‘Yeah. That sounds like her. She just wants to earn her paycheque.’

Octavia stares at the other mare. ‘Your family are the weirdest ponies I have ever met.’

Lyra laughs, ‘Hey, Octavia, while you’re drunk, who is the pony you love the most?’

Octavia glares at her friend. She opens her mouth to respond.

‘HEY TAVI! They are going to let me steer the ship!’ Vinyl shouts from across the ship.

‘VINYL!’ Octavia shouts back. She messes up her bow tie. ‘I wanted to be the first to do that.’

Octavia gallops to catch up with her friend. The other mares sigh.

‘I’ll take care of it,’ Lyra moans as she trots away.

Having met up with Selene and Amy in Canterlot, the massive group has crowded into the first-class cabin of the Celestia-class airship taking them to Neighpon. Most of the travelers are chatting and sharing plans for when they arrive. Fluttershy and Kaeko are among the few who are resting on the long trip. Twilight is still nervously watching Daring Do. None of the others seem to notice nor care about the odd pony randomly with the group. Rei, Rainbow Dash and Cloudchaser are flying around the ship. Selene sits with James as he fiddles with his mobile. The pegasus holds his sonic for him while he types.

‘Okay. Just about done. Sonic.’

‘Come and get it.’

James looks over. Selene smiles widely as she holds the sonic in her mouth. James swipes above the pegasus, hitting the horn hidden by the perception filter. She shouts and drops the sonic. The stallion wipes it off then zaps his mobile.

‘Can everyone get in here?’ James looks around. ‘Can somepony get the fliers? Flutters? Dar... uh?’

‘I got them,’ Daring replies as she trots out.

‘Who was..?’ Applejack starts.

‘Just a friend,’ James interrupts. He purses his lips and shifts his eyes.

Applejack tries to make eye contact with James, but he avoids her stare. She narrows her gaze, causing the stallion to sweat.

‘Twi, y’all know who she is?’

Twilight jumps in surprise. ‘Me? Why would I know anything about somepony I just met? Heh, heh. I don’t know anything, silly Applejack.’

The farmer snorts. Y’all are up t’ somethin’.’

Daring returns with the pegasi. James sighs in relief and gathers everypony around him.

‘Okay, everypony. It took some tricky work, but I convinced my ship to extend the translation matrix to all of you. If you have travelled with me before, you know what I am talking about and will be fine. To the rest of you, you might feel a slight tingle...’

James zaps his mobile again. Several in the group shout and grab their temples.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vinyl, Silver and Bon Bon scream and grab their heads. Octavia and Lyra dart from their deck chairs to check on their loved ones.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ponies just infused with the translation matrix groan from their positions on the ground. Selene tends to Cloudchaser. Rei cradles Inkie. Pinkie helps Rarity. Kaeko bats away all assistance while swearing in words everypony can now understand. Twilight cares for an unconscious Spike. Outside of first class, a random pony moans and holds his head. James grins and looks for Amy. She calmly smiles back at him.

‘I thought for sure...’

‘Uh...’ Amy trots over and whispers, ‘Some time in your future... Um... About four hundred years ago, I get to a very dark place. Really dark... You, uh, take me to see my parents and it really means a lot to me.’

‘Oh. Uh. Spoilers?’

Amy laughs and returns to her seat. Slowly, the others are helped to their seats as well. The attendants are called to bring water. The somewhat excited atmosphere for the trip has been dampened.

‘I know this is not what you want to hear right now,’ James begins, ‘but this is going to be a long trip. We still have at least a day at this rate. I suggest you settle in for now and relax.’

‘You relax with a jackhammer in your brain,’ Cloudchaser grumbles.

Others moan in agreement as the attendants return with their water. Applejack takes the opportunity to sit next to the disguised Daring.

‘So, uh, Miss...’

‘Yes?’ Daring smiles.

‘Right, uh, didn’ quite catch the name there?’

‘You didn’t? I’m sorry.’

‘Maybe y’all could remind me.’

‘Maybe.’

The farmer growls. ‘Then how ‘bout ‘splaining why y’all didn’ react t’ Jimmy’s trick?’

‘I’d rather not.’

‘Ah’d rather not buck ya across the cabin, but Ah will if ya don’t give me a straight answer.’

Daring grins and leans close. ‘Why would I want to you a straight answer, cutie?’

Applejack balks, gets up and moves to a different seat. Daring laughs and settles in for the flight.

After over a day in travel time, the group finally lands in Neighpon. It takes the efforts of everypony to keep Rei from flying away before they get through customs. They pass without incident and are whisked off towards their hotel. James booked several suites at a high-end hotel in Haydo to serve as a base while they explore the country. Everypony slowly settles and starts getting into the rhythm of the new country.

After a couple days of acclimatizing and seeing sights around Haydo, the group is getting ready to split up and explore. They are all gathered in the hotel restaurant for breakfast as they make plans. Lucas is putting a fresh SD card in his camera, having filled one in just two days. Twilight has a large map spread over her table. It is covered in notes. Amy facehoofs and groans at the level of Twilight’s planning. Selene giggles at her sister.

‘And if you are interested in seeing some shrines...’

‘Or you just follow me,’ Rei brags. ‘I know where everything is.’

‘Rei-chan, my Neighpon is different from yours,’ Kaeko sighs.

‘The details are different, but all of the important stuff is like my world. I mean, Akihabara is still the same.’

‘Speaking of which,’ -- Lucas holds up his camera -- ‘who is with me?’

‘Again?’ James groans.

‘But it is Haruhi day at the cosplay cafe I found...’

Rei perks up. ‘Nagato-chan!’

She gets the nod from her father. The two ponies gallop off.

‘Inkie. Do you mind?’ James asks.

Inkie nods and chases after her friends. James looks over at Stormy.

‘Fine!’ the young stallion groans.

Rarity watches her ward leave. ‘So, um, Twilight, where are the good gem-finding locations? I want to get some shopping done today.’

Kaeko laughs. ‘Good luck with that.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘We were settled by mostly pegasi and earth ponies. The unicorns that tried, only found gems near the volcanoes. Have fun.’

‘Volc...’ the unicorn puts her head down and moans.

‘Selene and I were going to take a fly up the coast,’ Cloudchaser says. ‘Does anypony else want to come?’

‘No thanks,’ Fluttershy replies. ‘I read Twilight’s notes, all of the notes, on the shrines down south. I was thinking, if it is okay, to check them out. It sounds like there are a lot of nature preserves there too.’

‘If you are taking the train down, I’ll go with you,’ Twilight says. ‘There are a lot of museums that I would love to check out.’

‘I would love a...’

‘Me too!’ Pinkie interrupts. ‘I wanna go too!’

‘Then we better hurry if we don’t want to be stuck on the trains all day.’

The three friends get up and trot away together. Rainbow Dash and Daring join Cloudchaser and Selene. Kaeko groans and follows her charge. The rest of the ponies laugh and go back to finishing breakfast.

‘Tavi! I need some more money!’

The cellist growls and stops her practicing. ‘I just gave you thirty bits worth yesterday!’

‘Yeah, but there is more music I want to buy today.’

‘Why are you wasting all of your money before the show even starts?’

‘Well, I am writing you a song and...’

Octavia shoves a small sack of bits in Vinyl’s hooves. She is blushing. ‘Whatever. Just make sure you spend it wisely.’

Silver laughs as the unicorn prances away. Vinyl passes Lyra and Bon Bon as they trot into the group’s suite.

‘Hey! You’ll never guess who we saw at breakfast this morning,’ Lyra calls.

‘Was it her?’ Octavia points to a window.

Rei has her face on the glass. ‘Ohayo, Tavi-tan! Ohayo, Gin-chan! Ohayo, Lyra-sensei!’

‘I am not that small!’

‘Hi, Rei!’ Lyra waves as the filly flies away. ‘Actually, it was her dad, but that counts. He was there with the princesses.’

‘Ugh. Not another security mission.’ Octavia hits her head against her cello.

‘They are just here on vacation,’ Bon Bon snorts. ‘As are we. If I find out that any of you do any business other than your concert...’

‘I know, I know,’ Lyra groans. ‘You’ll put the horn where it ain’t supposed to go.’

‘Or the cello bow.’

Everypony pauses as they wait for Silver to repeat her threat. The seat the pegasus occupied is empty.

Bon Bon sighs, ‘At least she is one pony I don’t have to worry about doing something stupid.’

A flash of light fills a park. At the center of the flash, a cream-colored earth pony with a curly orange mane waves a laser gun around. She checks a scanner on her foreleg.

‘Right about on time.’ She taps a couple buttons. ‘Now to find the right place...’

She looks around and trots away.

An audience chanting is heard by ponies backstage at a concert. A white pegasus brushes her mane in her dressing room. There is a knock on her door.

‘We’re ready for you on stage.’

‘I’ll only be a moment longer.’ The pegasus sets down her brush and smiles, a long fang glinting in the light as her eyes flash green. ‘I know how much my audience loves me.’

Continued in:

Finding the Full Moon

The Boredom of Applejack and Rarity

Fluttershy the Combat Maid

F City, F Prefecture

RSI and the Mystery of FLCL

Live From Budokan

Author's Note

Adventures in Neighpon - Part 1

Story Event: The next six chapters take place at about the same time. Feel free to read them in any order.

Fun fact: In the scene where TWP connects the brain of everypony that has yet to travel in the TARDIS to the translation matrix, there was supposed to be one more in pain: Stormy. He would have noted that it really was just a tingle, making fun of how much pain the horn cream causes him.

Fun fact: The hotel in Haydo they are staying at is based on a hotel I stayed at in Mastushima. It was a big, fancy, modern ryukan-style hotel with giant buffet worth the $100 per night price tag alone. It also had a bathhouse style bath for patrons that I found very relaxing.

Finding the Full Moon

Main Characters: TWP, Rei, Luna/Selene, Celestia/Amy, Full Moon?
Cameos: Cloudchaser, Stormy, Spike, Lyra
Original Write Date: July 14, 2012
Episode Theme

Amy and Selene soak in a warm tub together. The hotel James booked features an onsite bathhouse. Both ponies sigh in contentment.

‘We need to do this more often,’ Selene moans.

‘Indeed, dear sister,’ Amy coos. ‘I already have plans for installing one of these in the palace.’

‘Best idea you have had in centuries.’

Clopping is heard in the bathhouse. The ponies look to see Cloudchaser approaching. The pegasus gasps and drops her towel.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. I heard Lu-, uh, Selene was down here and thought I would join her.’

Amy stands and levitates a towel to herself. ‘Go right ahead. Don’t forget to wash up first.’

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Cloudchaser groans as she goes to the washing area.

Amy giggles and finishes drying off. She leaves the towel in a bin.

‘Hey, Celi!’

Immediately outside of the mares’ bathhouse, Amy cringes. James trots beside her from the stallions’ side. The unicorn refuses to admit that he looks sharp in a yukata.

‘Mr Wanderer.’ The disguised princess bows. ‘I am quite surprised to see you here. I thought your kind never bathed.’

‘That is only at cons. ‘Sides, we don’t stink as much as politicians.’

Amy groans. ‘Please find the other half of your wit before you try making puns.’

‘Just ‘cause Twilight is in the old capital tonight, finally, doesn’t mean we have to take the gloves off just yet, big plot.’

‘It is perfectly plump! Mares would kill for it!’

James grins and looks from side to side. Amy glances, too. She failed to notice they reached the main lobby and are waiting for an elevator. Amy simmers as they wait. They get an elevator to themselves. As soon as the doors close, Celestia removes her disguise and turns to... Boop!

James lowers his hoof before Celestia can bite it off. ‘You were right. This was a great idea for a trip.’

‘I would agree if it weren’t for a certain stallion in the party,’ the princess huffs.

‘Lucas? He’s chill. You just need to get to know him.’

‘Not him, you dolt.’

‘Well, it can’t be Stormy. He’s so sunny and cheery.’

The elevator stops. The two ponies step out to the hallway connecting the suites James booked. Stormy is trotting between rooms. He stops to look at the arrivals.

‘Mr Wanderer... Kill me now.’

‘Sorry, son. You have a bright future ahead of you!’

Stormy groans and keeps trotting.

‘With him eliminated, there is but one stallion left who might raise my ire.’

James thinks. ‘One, Spike isn’t a pony. Two,’ -- he picks up the baby dragon in passing -- ‘how can you stay mad at these cute, chubby cheeks?’

‘Dude! Not cool.’

James sets Spike down. The dragon storms away, muttering to himself.

‘Mr Wanderer, with your idiotic behaviour, lack of respect for authority and oblivious nature, it is a wonder that Rei turned out to be such a lovely young mare.’

Rei trots past towards her room. ‘Hi, daddy! Hi, obasan!’

‘Rei. Under your wing.’

The pegasus groans and sets down the sake bottle she was hiding. She grumbles as she returns to her room.

‘I stand corrected, Mr Wanderer.’

‘About me or Rei?’

Celestia stares down at the shorter pony. ‘I stand corrected, Mr Wanderer.’ The pair pause for a moment. ‘Care to join me in splitting that?’ The princess smiles hopefully.

‘Goodnight, Celi.’

James turns and goes to his room. Celestia sighs, picks up the bottle and searches for somepony to share it with.

In a dressing room, a white pegasus with a long purple mane sits on a couch. She sips a bottle of water. There is a knock on the door. The pegasus stops drinking and sighs.

‘Enter.’

A red earth pony wearing sunglasses enters. He has a large grin.

‘Great show, Full Moon! A sold-out crowd, and you were able to do two encores. I am surprised you had the energy to keep going.’

Full Moon grins. ‘Let’s just say I was feeding off the audience. Their love sustained me.’

‘It is a good thing they love you so much. The schedule you keep would exhaust a normal performer in weeks, but you have been at it since your debut months ago.’

‘I couldn’t get this far without their love and your assistance. Speaking of, when and where is my next show?’

‘Well, with relocation times, your next shows are a couple days from now in the old capital. Looks like they will be sold out as well.’

Full Moon sighs. ‘I dislike all of this downtime. If it cannot be helped, then it cannot be helped.’

‘Consider it a chance to recharge your batteries.’ The manager turns to leave. ‘Oh! Have you given any more thought to the offer?’

‘I may have to meet with this Heartstrings, but I am leaning towards accepting.’

‘Great! Let’s work out the details if you have a moment!’

Full Moon springs up as a new pony enters the room. Lyra has a huge grin on her face as she approaches the idol. Bon Bon groans and shakes her head at the doorway.

James, Celestia, and Luna exit the elevator to their floor. Luna has the biggest scowl on her face. The other two ponies are snickering crazily.

‘We have never been so embarrassed in our entire life!’ Luna growls.

‘Lighten up, Lulu,’ Celestia giggles. ‘It was only some lighthearted fun.’

‘It was an important cultural event!’

‘She’s just mad because she got the lowest score,’ James teases.

‘We were not playing thy stupid game! We were trying to enjoy some high theater.’

‘So... was the fun halved?’

Luna spins around and is about to shout at the stallion when Rei darts down the hall and tackles her father.

‘Daddy’s home! Where have you been?’

‘We took in a Noh play,’ Celestia snickers.

‘You mean Kabuki if you are laughing.’ The filly is confused.

The princess hides a bag of rubber bands. ‘Noh.’

James and Celestia giggle again. Rei snorts and looks at Luna. The younger princess sighs and shakes her head. The filly snorts again and looks at her father.

‘Anyway, we have to go to the old capital. I have... reasons.’

‘Does this have anything to do with the CD under your wing?’

Rei blushes and looks away.

James laughs and ruffles Rei’s mane. ‘I’ll see what I can do.’

‘Isn’t the old capital where Twilight went?’ Luna asks.

‘Yeah, but she has moved on by now.’

‘Well, then you will have to be the one to show me around.’

‘Indeed,’ Celestia agrees. ‘Didn’t you work near there?’

‘Uh...’ James turns down the hall. ‘Cloudchaser! Your fillyfriend is hitting on me!’

‘That’s fine!’ Cloudchaser shouts back. The pegasus steps out of her room and approaches the group. ‘I was thinking of heading up north for a lookaround. You with me, Luna?’

‘Uh, we were planning on going to the old capital.’

Cloudchaser nods. ‘Cool. I’ll check that out eventually. Then we should do something together for the rest of the night. Maybe take in a show?’

Celestia levitates the rubber bands over. ‘Here you go. Be safe.’

Luna groans, ‘I wish I were an only child.’

Full Moon lays on a couch in her hotel room. She holds a mirror in her hooves and stares at her face. A brief flash of a black creature with long fangs appears in the mirror. Full Moon screams. A large unicorn bodyguard rushes into the room.

‘Are you all right? Is something threatening you?’

Full Moon backs away from the mirror. ‘N-no. Everything is fine. I was just startled. That is all.’

‘Very well. We are just outside if you need anything.’

‘Th-thank you.’

The guard turns to leave, but Full Moon reaches and stops him. ‘Yes?’

The pegasus fumbles beside the couch. ‘One of my fans gave me this at my last show.’ She holds up a doll that looks like her. ‘You have a daughter, right? Would she enjoy this?’

The guard is shocked. ‘You already give us so much love. We cannot accept this...’

‘Please. I insist.’

The guard bows. ‘As you wish.’

The guard sets the doll on his back and trots out of the room. Full Moon sighs and looks down at the mirror. The dark creature stares back at her.

Luna gallops around the hotel room in the old capital. She stops and presses her face against a window and watches the city below her.

‘This is so cool!’

‘Indeed it is, dear sister,’ Celestia agrees, shedding her Amy disguise. ‘How can you consistently afford to arrange for such extravagance, Mr Wanderer?’

James ditches his pack in one of the rooms. ‘What?’

‘Where do you get the money for this?’

‘Oh! Simple.’ James finds a comfortable seat. ‘Well, I travel back in time, get myself inserted into a will or two, get myself something valuable, travel to the future, take the item, give me the insurance payoff, travel back in time and fence it. Win-win-win.’

‘You are lying, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Didn’t complain when I paid for those cake tickets.’

Luna snaps around. ‘You went where! Oh, you are so walking the city with me. No trains or flying.’

‘This is all your fault.’ Celestia glares at James. She sits heavily on a sofa.

‘Careful. I don’t want to owe them a new couch.’

The princess growls. The stallion laughs and gets out a hoofheld game. Rei trots out of a bedroom.

‘Um... Daddy...’

‘Don’t worry, Rei. I got tickets for the show tomorrow.’

‘How?’ Celestia asks.

‘Piece of cake,’ the stallion replies.

The princess growls again. Rei smiles and returns to the bedroom. She immediately scowls. She gets out the CD she took from Lucas.

‘Soon, but not soon enough.’

She taps into her electrical affinity. The electricity arcs across the CD. She focuses her energy and rips the CD to pieces. She stomps on the ashes.

James and Rei stand at the back of a crowd of ponies. The crowd is mobbing Full Moon as she signs autographs and meets with fans. Rei watches the other pegasus carefully. Selene trots over. She is covered in glow sticks.

‘While this night has been most enjoyable, why the delay?’

‘Rei has been acting very nervous for some reason. How’s the sister?’

Selene groans, ‘She is currently arguing with the vendors for their remaining tofu dogs and nachos.’ She growls. ‘We will spend the next day grounded, too.’

James laughs and kisses Selene’s cheek. ‘One day she will learn the value of a skinny flank. It is not like she has had centu...’

A magical collar wraps around the stallion’s neck as Amy trots up. The unicorn levitates a number of food items around her.

‘Still your tongue, Mr Wanderer, or you will learn why I know a spell such as this.’

‘So you taught Rarity,’ The Strangling Physicist croaks.

Amy growls at the stallion and drops him. She offers a tofu dog to Selene, who grimaces and shakes her head. James catches his breath and goes to his daughter. Rei jumps as he steps beside her.

‘What are you waiting for?’

Rei watches the crowd slowly disperse. ‘You know me. I wait for the right moment to step forward and say the right thing...’

The filly starts maneuvering the crowds as she approaches the idol.

‘Wait... That is what I do when I am about to... Rei!’

James tries to catch his daughter, but he is caught going against the ponies heading the opposite direction. Rei taps Full Moon on the side. The pegasus turns with a smile on her face, but the smile vanishes as soon as she sees the raging pegasus behind.

‘Just who the hell do you think I am!’ Rei shouts.

Full Moon takes a step back. ‘Wh-what?’

‘You are not Full Moon! I am the only Full Moon! How dare you use that name!’

The taller pegasus backs away, but Rei follows, her electrical affinity causing sparks in the air.

‘You stole my name! You stole who I am! I am the only Full Moon! Me! You cannot be allowed to lie anymore!’

Rei focuses her energy and leaps. Full Moon screams. Rei freezes in mid air as James catches her tail in his mouth and Amy wraps the filly with her magic.

‘NO!’ Rei shrieks. ‘Let me go! She must pay! She stole me! She stole Full Moon! Let me go!’

‘Rei, stop this!’ her father growls as he pulls as hard as he can. ‘We’re leaving!’

James and Amy slowly start dragging the psychotic filly back.

‘Stop! No! She has to pay! I’m Full Moon! ME!’

A spark of electricity knocks James back. Rei lurches forward, but Selene catches her. The filly shrieks.

‘KNOCK IT OFF! BEHAVE!’ Selene bellows, tapping into the Royal Canterlot voice.

The yell gets Rei to drop to the ground and cower. The older ponies restrain the filly and drag her away. James picks himself up and step towards the terrified Full Moon.

‘I am terribly sorry.’ He sets a card on the ground. ‘If there is anything I can do to make up for this fiasco, please tell me.’

‘Th-thanks. I-I’ll be good.’

‘Anything.’

‘G-go. I think your child needs you more right now.’

James nods and trots away to help the princesses deal with the filly. Full Moon takes a few deep breaths and picks up the card. Her bodyguard finally gallops up.

‘Are you okay, my queen?’

‘I am fine.’ She looks at the card. ‘Perfectly fine...’

Rei is thrown onto her bed. The door to her room is slammed shut with Celestia and Luna guarding it. The Furious Father towers over his daughter.

‘What the hell is wrong with you?’

Rei’s eyes dart as she tries to think. ‘Well, uh, she...’

‘She did nothing!’ James snaps. ‘You are upset because of her name? What the hell?’

‘She is stealing Full Moon...’ Rei growls. ‘I am Full Moon!’

‘You are Rei!’

‘I AM FULL MOON!’

Rei’s latent powers send bolts of electricity arcing around the room. The princess’ magic shields anypony from being hurt. Rei catches her breath and glares into her father’s eyes.

‘Rei. Calm down.’

The filly plops on the bed. ‘What do you care? You’re not my real father. My REAL family calls me my REAL name.’

‘Rei, I am your real family. You are my daughter. Please just calm down and talk with us. Please, Rei.’

‘Stop calling me that! That is not my name! I am Full Moon of Equestria, Princess of the Moon! That was the name I was born with! You have seen the letters from home! I am Full Moon! Not that imposter!’

‘Rei... You are here now. You can’t go back. You are Tsukiyo Rei now. You are the lovely Tsukiyo Rei, daughter of James Wanderer. Doesn’t that mean anything anymore?’

‘You get to use your real name... Why can’t I use mine?’

‘Rei...’

‘Full Moon.’

‘Rei.’

‘Full Moon!’

‘Rei!’

‘FULL MOON!’

The adults are forced back by the strength of the yell. James takes a step forward, but a hoof lands on his shoulder.

‘You are losing the battle against a adamant opponent, Mr Wanderer,’ Celestia states. ‘I have been in your place many times before. It is best if you take a step back and try to let cooler heads prevail in the morning.’

‘When have you ever..?’ The princess looks down at the stallion. He snorts and looks away. ‘Right. Let’s call it a night.’ He turns towards Rei. ‘You’re grounded. I mean it this time.’

The adults leave the room. James’ sonic can be heard on the other side of the door. Rei screams, electricity arcing from her body and scorching the walls.

Full Moon paces in her hotel room. The incident the night before has really rattled her nerves. She is worried that she might not be able to perform again so soon. There is a knock on the the door.

‘Show them in,’ Full Moon calls.

An earth pony stallion, earth pony mare, pegasus stallion and unicorn mare enter the room. They stand before Full Moon and bow. The nervous pegasus quickly bows in return.

‘Thank you for coming so quickly,’ Full Moon greets.

‘Anything for you, my queen,’ the ponies say in unison.

‘Please. Do not speak that way. We are trying to remain hidden.’

‘We are sorry,’ the earth pony mare answers.

‘What has you bothered, my queen?’ the pegasus asks.

Full Moon sighs. ‘They are here. The princesses are here.’

‘What!? That cannot be!’ the earth pony stallion shouts.

‘I saw them last night after my show. Do you doubt my eyes?’

‘We are not up to full strength,’ the unicorn says. ‘More importantly, you are far from full strength with all of the love you have been giving us.’

‘The needs of my followers outweigh my own,’ Full Moon replies. ‘Besides, I do not think they are onto me quite yet.’

‘Do we dare risk being found out?’ the pegasus wonders.

‘We have been safe for now. We found a strong source of love without revealing our true form or wasting our food supply. I do not wish to leave just yet.’

The earth pony stallion steps forward. ‘My queen, you know we will follow any decision you wish to make, but is it really safe risking yourself and the swarm again if the princesses are about?’

‘Agreed,’ the unicorn says. ‘It took many months to rebuild after the attack and many more since your ruse took us where we are today. If we have to rebuild again...’

Full Moon raises a hoof, silencing the others. ‘As I said, the princesses may not know who I truly am just yet. Besides,’ -- she sets a card in front of her -- ‘I think we may have an ally in their party...’

The female earth pony lifts the card. ‘The Wandering Physicist? Doesn’t sound too trustworthy.’

‘According to our recent return, he is.’

‘You mean he is...’

‘Indeed.’ Full Moon trots to a window and sighs. ‘Is the show ready for tonight?’

The pegasus turns to his host. ‘All is set. Are you ready?’

‘I would be lying to say I am not still shaken from last night, but my audience demands it. I just hope nothing goes wrong.’

Full Moon stands at the center of a darkened stage. The rest of the stadium is dark as well. The audience is booing. The pegasus at center stage takes a deep breath.

‘Well, that worked out.’ Full Moon turns to backstage. ‘Can I get an unicorn to tap into the speakers for me?’

An unicorn gallops onto stage. He uses his magic to power Full Moon’s microphone and the speakers.

‘Excuse me, everypony,’ Full Moon says to get the audience’s attention. ‘It seems as though there is a major power outage in the city. I am pretty sure the venue would not want to risk the electrical system if we tried continuing after power is restored, but I am certain we can work out a way to reschedule or refund your tickets. I am really sorry. If you don’t mind my security being extra paranoid, I would be up for an extended autograph session starting in a few minutes.’

The audience murmurs as Full Moon heads backstage. The pegasus sighs in relief.

Celestia and Luna gather around James as he checks on the blackout via his mobile. Rei is unusually silent in her room.

‘Looks like a massive feedback surge in one of the nearby prefectures shorted out the national grid. The blackout just reached the southern island. I can’t seem to find the cause, though...’

‘I am going to help,’ Celestia states. ‘Where is the best place for me to be?’

‘Check with the PM.’ James replies. ‘If you want a recommendation, cut all national lines into smaller grids for the time being. That includes the railway.’

‘This is not the first disaster I have had to weather, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Where should I be, sister?’ Luna asks.

‘Stay here for now or help with the local government. This is probably a simple problem that will fix itself. Do not worry, dear sister.’

Celestia casts a spell and teleports away.

Luna sighs and sits down. ‘What now, James?’

James starts tapping buttons on his mobile. ‘Sit tight for now. I have a feeling I am going to be bombarded with calls soon, so I am going to make a few preparations...’

‘Why do I feel as useless as ever?’

‘Luna, you have been the only one of us to get Rei to calm down and behave today. Right now, that makes you the most important pony in my life. I don’t care about this crisis one bit. My daughter is still number one in my mind, and you are the only key to understanding her right now.’

Luna blushes. ‘That makes me the most important pony ever.’

‘Can... can you check on her? She sort of screams at me a lot when I try.’

‘I will. You take care of the others.’

‘Yeah... I already sent three calls from Twilight to voicemail...’

James sighs and gets back to work. Luna smiles and goes to check on Rei.

Celestia appears in the middle of a busy government building. Ponies of all tribes run past, ignoring the princess. She calmly trots to the office that is getting the most traffic. The earth pony inside yells orders at her visitors between reading and sending messages via unicorn magic. The princess finally gets noticed as she forces her way into the office. Everypony stops to take notice of the new arrival.

Celestia clears her throat. ‘Madam Prime Minister.’

‘If you are not telling me about which prefectures have power or if we have phone lines back...’

‘I’m telling you that Princess Celestia offers her support.’

The prime minister looks up. Celestia smiles down.

‘Where would you like me to help?’ the princess offers.

Luna sits in Rei’s room. The filly has hidden herself under her bed. Everything in the room is destroyed from the electrical surges caused by her tantrums. The princess sighs as she uses her magic to repair as much damage as she can.

‘It is not fair!’ Rei shouts. ‘Why is he protecting her and punishing me?’

‘You are not in trouble, Rei.’

‘Then why am I being locked in my room? I hate him!’

‘He’s your father. He is only trying to look after you.’

‘Easy to do when I am imprisoned. It is like I am banished to the moon or something...’

There is a knock on the door. ‘Can I come in?’ is asked from the other side.

‘DROP DEAD! I HATE YOU!’ Rei bellows, lifting the bed slightly and dropping Luna to the floor.

The princess picks herself up. ‘You may enter at your own risk,’ she replies.

James slowly enters the room and sticks beside the door. A loud growl comes from under the bed.

‘I thought you would want to know how everypony is doing.’

‘Go to hell,’ comes from under the bed.

‘Go ahead,’ Luna corrects.

‘Well, AJ and Rarity are doing fine. They barely noticed the blackout. According to the weather report, they are going to be rained in for a while. Uh, Dash said that she and Flutters are having fun and “nothing suspicious” was going on. Obviously, they are causing trouble.’

‘We can only hope,’ Luna giggles.

‘Lucas had his mobile off for some reason.’

‘Fire him,’ Luna suggests.

‘Will do. Twilight wasn’t answering her mobile, but Pinkie said they were exploring the city today. I could hear somepony screaming in the background...’

Luna giggles.

‘Daring said that she was investigating a major archaeological find.’

‘More trouble.’

‘Indeed.’

‘And most importantly, Inkie, Stormy and Spike are spending the day in and relaxing. They need it after what they went through.’

‘See, Rei, everypony is doing fine, especially Inkie. Isn’t it good to hear?’

‘It would be better if it wasn’t from him,’ the filly growls.

‘Rei, I am sorry but even if you had a good reason to be upset, the way you behave makes me think that you would try harming Full Moon if we let you out before you calmed down.’

‘The only Full Moon being harmed is under the bed,’ Rei growls.

‘Rei, please listen to us. There is no harm in her having the same name as you.’

‘She didn’t just steal my name. She looks exactly like me! She is stealing me!’

‘Rei, honey,’ Luna calmly starts, ‘She is not really stealing you. You are still your own unique self. It is all a series of coincidences.’

‘Shut up. I didn’t expect you to take my side. You’re not my mommy. She would agree with me.’

‘But Rei, I am this universe’s version of your mother.’

‘You’re not my mother,’ Rei growls.

‘But I’m...’

James shakes his head. ‘She means Fluttershy. She has been thinking that way since...’

‘But... I am...’ Luna forces back tears.

‘It is okay, Luna. She doesn’t mean what she is saying.’

‘Yes, I do. Now, GET OUT! I HATE YOU!’

‘Rei, please. We just want to help you.’

‘Then help me destroy her!’

‘You are not thinking sensibly!’ James shouts back. ‘If I can arrange a meeting, would you be willing to just talk it out?’

‘Actions speak louder...’

‘Fine. You want to be a bully, then stay here. I want my daughter back. I want the sweet filly that solves her problems with words instead of violence.’

Luna trots to the door. She still looks upset.

James gives Luna a small hug. ‘Hang in there, Luna.’

Rei growls and kicks her bed, causing it to bounce.

‘Hey!’ James snaps.

Rei sticks her head from under the bed. Her face is streaked with tears.

‘I really mean it when I said I want my daughter back. If you can find her under there, I would really love to see her again.’

Rei pulls her head back under the bed. James closes the door in time to muffle a scream. He drags himself to a couch and sits beside Luna. He rests his head on her shoulder. She rests hers on his head. Both are crying.

‘I have no idea what I am doing,’ James confesses. ‘All I know is that I am making it worse.’

‘I am sorry I am not much of a help. I wish I could do more, but I fear she is furious with me as well.’

‘She has never been like this before. I don’t know what to do. I can’t side with her while she is like this because she will want me to aid in hurting Full Moon, but I don’t like saying she is wrong for being upset.’

‘I cannot advise you here. This is one matter where I have no experience.’

‘Genetically, you’re her... I mean, the other you... I... I could never have gotten anywhere with her without your help. If you hadn’t been a reminder of home and of somepony she loved...’

‘James, you are the one raising her. You are the reason she has become such a fine young lady in the year you two have been together. Sure, she has had some problem moments, but she is somepony to be proud of.’

‘I am proud of her. I am very proud of her. But when she gets a crazy idea in her head, like this or back on parents weekend or when she wants an adventure, I get really worried. I get worried she might end up hurting herself or her friends. I worry she might get herself killed or nearly so. I cannot lose her...’

‘You sound like my sister when she explained her reasoning for standing between me and Discord. Let’s hope Rei is not like her mother and doesn’t take a thousand years to listen.’

James takes a deep breath. ‘I want to let her out tomorrow. At least to the rest of the suite. Make a small step to regaining her trust.’

‘That sounds like a wonderful idea. Want me to tell her?’

James shakes his head. ‘No. I will. I’ll tell her over dinner... if she doesn’t throw it at me, that is.’

James’ ringtone goes off. Luna groans and gets up.

‘You take care of that. I’ll pick up something to eat.’

‘You know all of her favorites, right?’

‘A mother always knows.’

The ponies laugh. Luna trots out of the room to let James answer his call.

‘How’s it going, Trollestia?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Celestia grimaces. She is levitating her mobile. ‘I hate that nickname. You must destroy that ringtone.’ She pauses for a moment. ‘Anyway, while assisting the recovery, I decided to look into your friend Full Moon. She is a real mysterious one.’ She goes to a table and opens a file folder. ‘No real record of her exists before a few months ago when she released her debut single This Day. She was an instant hit. Just listen to these titles: In Perfect Cadence, Twilight in the Crystal Halls, Lunar Disappearance, Sunfall (what the hell does that mean?), and, this is my favorite, Suck the Love Out of You.’ She laughs. ‘Those are stupid. … What do you mean hidden meaning? Fine. I’ll think about it.’ She closes her eyes and thinks for a moment. ‘Well, it sort of sounds like... Wait. There was nopony named Full Moon there, and no pegasi there that match the description. … What do you mean “the obvious answer”?’ She groans and thinks. ‘What do you mean “change my point of view”?’ She growls. ‘What do you mean “Luna is back”? Oh. You mean Luna is back with dinner. … Hello, Luna. “Did you miss anything”? … OH MY ME! I just figured it out! … I’ll tell you tomorrow. I still have some things to do here. I’ll be back as soon as I can.’ She hangs up her mobile and shakes her head. ‘Can it really be her? No. She is not... Nopony is hurt...’

Celestia sits and ponders what she has realized.

Full Moon trots around her hotel room. She holds her mobile in a wing.

‘Thank you for the information, but I should be... Okay... That complicates things. I’ll be on my guard. Before you go, can you tell me how you got this number? … Hmm. I see. And why are you helping me? … I appreciate your help... and your honesty. I would be sorry for what I did if it weren't necessary for my goals at the time. ... No, I cannot tell you how to seduce him. I was disgusted even sharing a bed with him for my cover,’ she snorts. ‘Thanks again. I may owe you.’ She hangs up her mobile and sighs. She goes to the entrance and opens it to her bodyguards. ‘I may be receiving some visitors later. Please do not intervene unless I call.’

The bodyguards nod and remain at their posts. Full Moon sighs and looks for some way to relax.

James puts his mobile away as he trots to the entertaining room of the suite. He is greeted by an ice cold glare from Rei. Luna and Celestia confer to one side. The elder princess looks up.

‘You just warned her, didn’t you?’

‘I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about,’ The Lying Physicist defends.

‘Liar,’ Rei growls.

‘You really are planning on confronting her, aren’t you?’

‘She could be a dangerous threat, Mr Wanderer. A being that feeds on love with an army of millions of fans to feed off of could topple nations.’

James groans and says mockingly, ‘Dear Princess Celestia, what I learned about friendship today was...’

‘That is completely different!’

‘I think he nailed you,’ Luna giggles.

Celestia snorts at her sister. ‘Luna, we’re going. Mr Wanderer.... behave. Rei, take care of him.’

Celestia powers a spell and teleports her sister and herself away. James sighs and turns the the scowling Rei.

‘What do you want to do today? As long as we don’t cause any trouble, we can have a lot of fun together.’

Rei growls and turns away.

Celestia and Luna appear on the balcony of Full Moon’s hotel room. The pegasus rushes to let the princesses in. She gives them a slight bow.

‘Welcome. I am honored to be in your presence.’

‘Cut the lies,’ Celestia snorts. ‘Reveal yourself, changeling.’

‘Changeling? I thought you vanquished those.’

‘Please do not upset my sister when she is in one of her moods,’ Luna warns. ‘Not unless you enjoy seeing the stars.’

‘Luna, this is no time for jokes,’ Celestia groans. ‘If the changeling threat is back, it must be stopped before all of Neighpon is infested.’

The door to the room bursts open. Full Moon’s guards are thrown across the room. They hit the far wall, knocked unconscious and revealed to be changelings.

‘Surrender, changeling!’ Shining Armor calls as he enters the room. ‘I am wise to your ways and refuse to let you harm the prin...’ -- Everypony stares at him -- ‘Princesses!? What are you doing here?’

‘I was about to ask you the same thing,’ Celestia sighs. ‘We have the situation under control.’

‘There is no need for your concern, Shining Armor,’ Full Moon adds.

Everypony freezes at Full Moon’s comment. She looks around nervously.

‘I mean, whoever you are.’

‘How do you know his name?’ Luna asks, edging around the room to cover Full Moon.

‘Well, uh...’

‘And why do you have changeling guards?’ Celestia demands.

Before Full Moon can answer, her mobile rings. She nervously answers.

And why don’t you open the balcony doors! is shouted over the line.

Celestia looks back, then dodges out of the way. A burst of electricity shatters the windows. Rei jolts to a stop and hovers over the room. Her father is thrown to the floor and lands at Full Moon’s hooves.

‘Okay. That hurt a bit,’ James moans. He looks around the room. ‘Oh! Pretend I am passed out and Shining is the only one that can revive me with mouth-to-mouth,’ he whispers to the shocked Full Moon.

‘Mr Wanderer, what are you doing here?’ Celestia asks.

‘A little misguided daddy-daughter time,’ James groans as he picks himself up. ‘We’ll be leaving now.’ He glances around. ‘I’ll take him with me, too.’

‘We have a more pressing matter, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Get out of the way!’ Rei shouts.

A spark of electricity arcs from Rei and hits Full Moon. She screams. A green flash of energy surrounds her. The spell around Full Moon disappears revealing a tall, female changeling with long purple hair, large insectoid wings, long fangs, a twisted horn and a blue-green chitin over her back and midsection. The princesses get on guard. Shining backs away nervously. Rei stands her ground and growls.

‘That really hurt!’ Chrysalis shouts at the defiant filly.

‘Go to hell!’ Rei shouts back.

The tall queen of the changelings growls down at the short pegasus filly causing her so much trouble.

‘Can I be the first to say I am truly shocked at...’

‘Shut up, Mr Wanderer. You knew it was her all along,’ Celestia snorts.

‘Can I still be shocked?’

Rei’s electrical affinity sparks, nearly hitting her father.

‘Not what I meant!’ the stallion tries pushing the filly back. ‘We’re leaving. The princesses are about to negotiate a peace deal, and that is going to be very boring.’

‘Like we would ever sign a peace with one who tried destroying our country!’ Celestia snarls.

‘Oh. I thought you and Luna had made up for a thousand years ago.’

Celestia steps back. She looks down at her sister.

Luna shakes her head. ‘You never choose your words wisely. I remember somepony calling Nightmare Moon insults a three-year-old would devise.’

‘Well, uh, she, I mean, you, I mean, it started it!’

Chrysalis groans. ‘I lost to this?’

‘Technically speaking,’ James corrects, ‘you beat Celestia and glued her to the ceiling. You lost to the pony standing behind you.’

Chrysalis looks back. Shining stares in shock at the changeling that manipulated his mind for so long.

‘Then you lost again by the sexiest princess to ever live.’

‘Thank you, Mr Wanderer,’ the sisters say in unison.

‘Guess again.’ He turns to Chrysalis. ‘They’re just scared you'll hurt us.’

‘I am not here to hurt you or anypony,’ the queen sighs. ‘It was not my intention to hurt anypony nor have I done so.’

‘Lies!’ Rei shouts.

Chrysalis takes a deep breath. ‘While it is true that I ended up here after my most recent defeat, I spent much time rebuilding the hive in our homelands. I returned to this land to use the knowledge I had learned from my defeat in order to help sustain the hive until we were self-sufficient again.’

‘You are planning on feeding here,’ Celestia growls.

‘I had learned of these “pop idols” my first time here. The balance of giving and taking love between the idol and her fans. I am embarrassed to admit it, but it is a far more more satisfying than draining the love from a body.’

‘Also, This Day is freaking awesome,’ James comments. Everypony stares at him. ‘What? Am I the only one that paid attention at the concert?’

‘Thank you, Mr Wanderer. I quite enjoy performing, and my fans give us more than enough love to regain our strength. Since I do not wish to destroy my fanbase, we give the love back as best we can. There are a large number of us helping out across this land as we speak. We have not harmed a single pony since our arrival, and those that have tried are banished from the hive. We are not a threat anymore!’

‘That may be so, but you still have crimes to answer for from your attack on Canterlot,’ Celestia counters.

‘Our defeat left us scattered and on the brink of starvation. Are you really going to punish us for losing a battle and nearly dying as a species?’

‘I got locked in my room for wanting to share in ruling the country,’ Luna says. ‘She’ll do it.’

‘Must that always come up, sister?’

‘Only for the next thousand years or so.’

Celestia snorts and turns towards Chrysalis. The two rulers lock eyes. The queen sighs and looks away.

‘Celestia, I know you are capable of forgiveness. You freed one of my kind from captivity. I am truly grateful. Surely, we can work out some arrangement where you don’t leave my civilization on the brink of collapse once more.’

‘Do you have to word it that way?’ Celestia groans. ‘Shining Armor, you were central to the attempted invasion. She even kidnapped your wife and sister at one point. Do you not want justice?’

The unicorn sighs. ‘From the sound of things, the changelings were punished enough. I believe Cadence and Twilight would want me to seek forgiveness, so I will work on forgiving what was done.’

‘Then I believe we are all in agreement. I am still wary of your intentions, but I am sure we can find some arrangement that benefits us all.’

‘Excellent!’ James cheers. ‘Now that we are all friends, let us bond over the ultimate friendship food of shawarma!’

The ponies facehoof while the changeling licks her lips.

‘We didn’t settle anything!’ Rei shouts. ‘She is still guilty of stealing my identity. Nothing that can be said can fix that!’

‘I am sorry, but I do not know how I upset you, little one,’ Chrysalis replies. ‘Is it because of the guise I used as an idol?’

‘You don’t get it, do you!’

‘Apparently not...’

‘I am Full Moon! My mom gave me Neighpon as a home! I am the only Full Moon of Neighpon! Nopony could take that from me! Those bullies never could! But you took it from me! You took me! I hate you!’

‘I am really sorry for upsetting you. Maybe we can...’

‘QUIET!’

Electricity arcs from Rei. Shining quickly casts shields around the princesses. Chrysalis nervously steps back. Rei roars and leaps. She is blocked and held back by a strong force. James is going hoof-to-hoof with his daughter to keep her from Chrysalis. He flinches as Rei’s electricity flows through him.

‘Rei! Stop this! Please. I know you don’t want to harm her.’

‘Move! She has to pay for hurting me!’

‘She didn’t know she was hurting you. Please. Stop now before you lose yourself.’

‘No! She’s a bully! You’re the last pony I would have thought would stand up for a bully.’

‘Right now, she is not...’

Rei growls. Her electricity surges. Shining barely pulls James away with his magic. The stallion winces from the current flowing through his body. The enraged filly advances on her target. Chrysalis backs away and tries changing forms for protection. First she changes into a pink alicorn. Rei growls and steps forward. Chrysalis tries disguising herself as an amber unicorn with a yellow and crimson mane. Rei moves closer. Chrysalis tries one last change, trips over a cushion and appears as Full Moon. Rei stands over the cowering changeling and raises an electrically-charged hoof.

‘Full Moon. Stop,’ James gasps as he fights the pain of the shock he received.

‘I have stopped!’ Chrysalis shouts.

‘Not you. My Full Moon.’

Chrysalis looks up at Rei. The filly is frozen above her target, tears streaming down her face. The electricity dissipates from her hoof.

‘Full Moon... I’m the one bullying Full Moon for no reason this time... I’m the one hurting...’

‘Rei... Full Moon...’

‘Daddy!’ Rei dives across the room and grabs her father in a hug. ‘I am so sorry. I screwed up. I hurt ponies. I hurt you. I was bad.’

James strokes Rei’s mane. ‘You were confused. I knew you would come to your senses. Now, can somepony get me to a hospital?’

Rei lifts her father onto her back. ‘Out of my way! I have to get him some help!’

Luna calmly levitates James to her. ‘I’ll take care of the heavy lifting. You go ahead and tell them we are coming.’

Rei nods and flies out of the room.

James groans and looks up. ‘Miss Chrysalis. I am really sorry for everything that happened.’

Chrysalis returns to her normal form. ‘As a being who lives on emotions, I know what it is like to lose control.’

Celestia helps the injured changelings recover. ‘Mr Wanderer is a good parent. She will be dealt with fairly, and you will be compensated greatly.’

‘But now, he must get some medical attention,’ Luna says.

The princess trots to the balcony and spreads her wings.

‘This is a much better ride than the last one,’ James comments.

‘Hey! That’s my sister you’re talking about,’ Celestia snaps.

‘Jealous much,’ James calls before he grips Luna around the neck as she flies away.

Celestia puffs out her cheeks as she growls at the leaving ponies. The changelings and their queen laugh. Shining does his best not to laugh. Celestia turns and glares at everypony.

James trots backstage in a theater. Rei trots alongside him to help his balance. She gives her father a gentle nuzzle.

‘I am really sorry for hurting you.’

‘You were upset, but you’re better now. You also earned a month of helping Applejack or Dash once we get home.’

‘I know...’

James stops behind a pale yellow earth pony with a sky blue mane. ‘Excuse me, you are Full Moon’s assistant, right?’

The mare turns. ‘Yes? May I... Oh! You must be Mr Wanderer and Rei. She does look a lot like Full Moon.’

‘She looks like me,’ Rei snorts.

‘I’ll get her for you,’ the mare replies before trotting away.

James takes moment to sit while he waits. Rei looks around the backstage area.

‘Why do they need so many cello bows?’ the filly asks.

‘Because, it seems the leader of this group goes through them like no other,’ Full Moon says as she trots up with her assistant.

James laughs. ‘Sounds just like her. Rei, you had something you wanted to say?’

Rei looks down. ‘Sorry for attacking you. I hope I didn’t hurt you.’

Full Moon bows. ‘Apology accepted. I might have done the same were I in your place.’

‘What else?’ James prods his daughter.

The filly whines. ‘I came up with this on my own so don’t think anypony is forcing me... You can use my name, but only if you treat it with respect! I will not let Full Moon be misused.’

‘You have my word that your name will be treated with respect.’ Full Moon bows then extends a hoof.

Rei stares at the hoof for a moment then grabs Full Moon in a hug. Full Moon is shocked then returns the hug.

‘And remember, not a word of this to...’ somepony says as they walk into James, knocking them over.

James groans and picks himself up. He turns to help the other pony and sees a familiar face.

‘James!’ Daring Do exclaims. ‘Well, that explains why she has so many bows on hoof...’

‘Daring... What are you doing here?’

The pegasus nervously stares at the stallion. ‘Well, you see, archaeology is an imprecise science.’

‘You’ll see in the paper tomorrow,’ Kaeko sighs from behind her charge.

James looks at his mobile. ‘Oh, Reggie is such a cool guy. Did he show you his antique doll collection?’

‘I... did not know he collected,’ Kaeko stutters.

‘Too busy focused on the kissing, eh?’

The pegasus squeaks. She looks at Daring for a distraction. The adventurer is staring at Full Moon. The other pegasus looks back and her eyes go wide.

‘Daring?’

‘Chryssy?’

Everypony looks at the two pegasi as they stare awkwardly at each other.

Concluded in:

Tomodachi Sketch

Author's Note

Adventures in Neighpon - Part 2

TWP Timeline: First encounter with Chrysalis.

Story Timeline: First movements towards peace between Chrysalis' hive and Equestria.

Current Shining Armor Love Triangle: TWP vs Chrysalis (vs Cadence)

Story Event: The idea of Rei and Chrysalis fighting over the name Full Moon goes back to the classic sci-fi trope of people from alternate universes encountering each other. I always had the idea of Rei encountering another Full Moon. The idea of it being Chrysalis and having her as a popular idol makes it better since Rei was very unpopular in her version of Neighpon. In older writings, I have dabbled with this idea before with the characters fearing they had replaced their alternates. Thankfully, there wasn't a Mirror, Mirror situation and Rei was able to be calmed down to the point of being nice to Chrysalis.

Fun fact: Full Moon o Sagashite has some of the most beautiful art out of all of the manga I have read.

The Boredom of Applejack and Rarity

Main Characters: Applejack, Rarity, Bon Bon, Cloudchaser
Cameos: None
Original Write Date: July 13, 2012
Episode Theme

Warning: Seriously. This a Rarity story. Expect implied sexual humor by the end of the first scene. Also, there is one scene later that takes heavy advantage of implying certain physical experiences in a frank discussion as seen from the pony perspective. … All stuff seen in PG/PG-13 stories on EqD too. Conduct yourself maturely.

Applejack and Rarity step off of the commuter train in a small Neighponese town. The rural town is deep in the mountainous north of the country, surrounded by a vast forest. Unless you can fly, the only way in and out is the trainline. The two friends make their way through the town, looking for the inn they are booked at.

The town is puny compared to the cities they have been seeing this whole trip. It is barely larger than Ponyville. But even with directions, they have to navigate a maze of streets to find their inn across town and down a long trail in the forest.

‘Ah don’ think even Zecora’s cottage is this hidden,’ Applejack comments.

‘This should be worth it,’ Rarity replies. ‘Twilight’s notes and Rei’s and Kaeko’s recommendations said that this was the perfect place to get away from the hustle of the city.’

‘With all ya hear ‘bout Neighpon, ya think that is impossible.’

‘Have no fear, dear Applejack. I am certain this will be a fine side quest on our trip.’ The unicorn slides the front door open with her magic. ‘We’re here~~~!’

The hosts and other patrons stare at the new arrivals. The inn’s matriarch directs them to the front desk.

‘Please sign in here.’

Rarity lifts the pen with her magic. ‘The reservation is under the name “Rarity”. I have booked a fabulous suite for my friend and I to enjoy while in your wonderful village.’

The matriarch checks Rarity’s information against her books and goes around the counter. ‘Follow me.’

‘Ooo! Isn’t this fun?’

‘Rarity, we’re gettin’ a lot o’ stares.’

‘Let them stare. Looking is free. Anything more will cost them.’

Applejack laughs. ‘Now Ah know how ya paid fer this.’

‘HMPF! Be glad I am in a generous mood or I would ask to have your name removed from the registration.’

‘Ah’ll behave! Jus’ if ya wanna have fun, keep it outa our room.’

‘I make no promises.’

‘Ah know. And ya still owe me fer a new mattress from yer last sleepover t’ mah place.’

‘To be fair, most of that was your brother.’

‘Why are we even friends again?’

The matriarch stops in front of a room. ‘This is your room. We will bring dinner at seven sharp. Enjoy your stay.’

The older mare slides open the door to the room. The room is as big as one of the suites in Haydo, with separate areas for entertaining, dining and sleeping. There is even a balcony overlooking the forest. The sun is setting behind the mountains, sending patterns of shadows across the trees and into the room. The guests stare into the room, jaws dropped. The matriarch laughs as she trots away.

‘Yer the best friend anypony could ask fer.’

Applejack and Rarity sit on the balcony, drinking sake. They are dressed in yukata. A wind chime rings in the gentle breeze.

‘Rarity, y’all know Ah ain’t one t’ normally go in fer this “do nothin’ ” or “watch nature” sorta thin’, but this is so relaxin’ right now, Ah don’ have a care in the world.’

‘This sure beats our busy schedules back home. I can’t think of anypony more deserving of a break than the two of us.’

Applejack finishes her sake in one gulp. ‘They could use some stronger drink, though.’

‘Indeed. Is a little vodka too much to ask?’

‘Ah think ya missaid “whiskey” jus’ now.’

Rarity rolls her eyes. ‘Not this again. I thought we settled it at Rainbow’s birthday party.’

‘All Ah remember settlin’ was y’all passin’ out after only ten shots o’ whiskey.’

‘Funny.’ Rarity finishes her drink. ‘I remember somepony dropping out of our little contest after only that many shots of vodka.’

The two ponies glare at each other. Rarity refills their cups. Both grab their cup and drink at the same time.

The next morning. A large lump rolls around under a blanket. Rarity pulls the blanket down to get some air. Applejack pulls down the blanket beside Rarity. The unicorn looks over and grimaces.

‘Please tell me we didn’t...’

‘Ah was drunk, but Ah will never get that drunk.’

The two ponies lay on their futon for a moment and think.

‘So, uh, Rarity?’

‘Yes?’

‘What now?’

The unicorn grimaces again, not a single idea coming to mind.

Rarity trots through the ryokan looking for something to do when Applejack comes galloping up.

‘Ah found somethin’ we can do.’

The unicorn sighs, ‘I’ll take anything I can get. What is it?’

‘Ickybeena or somethin’.’

‘Huh?’

‘Flower arrangin’.’

Rarity is incredulous. ‘And... you signed up willingly?’

Applejack blushes. ‘Well, Ah ain’t much fer that fru-fru stuff, but Ah am a farmer, and Ah do have a green hoof. ‘Sides, Ah figured y’all might like have a good time laughin’ at me when Ah mess up.’

Rarity smiles and sighs. ‘You really are a true friend, Applejack.’
…

A large group of ponies are gathered in an ikebana demonstration room. They are watching a first-time arranger try her hoof at the art. The mare picks up a sprig with a bud on the end. The group gasps. The mare slowly places the sprig in her arrangement. A pegasus in the back faints. Another pony claps her hooves and steps forward.

‘I have never seen a pony with so much innate skill and talent at this art.’

‘Ah shucks. Ain’t nothin’.’ Applejack blushes beet red.

‘Finished~!’ Rarity sings from her location.

The master looks over and sighs, ‘Not bad for a beginner. Um, leave that in the bin on your way out, will you?’

Rarity growls and stomps out of the room.

The next afternoon. Applejack and Rarity trot into town on a path from the forest. Their yukata are slightly muddy around their hooves. They have towels draped across their backs.

‘I don’t see what the big deal was. Those hot springs were too far out of the way to be worth it.’

‘Ah ain’t normally one t’ agree with yer complainin’, but that weren’t worth the effort.’

‘Not to mention those horrid apes everywhere. It was an effort in itself to guard our belongings.’

‘Jus’ don’ tell Lyra when we get back home.’

‘Don’t tell my wife what?’ a voice asks.

The friends jump. They turn to see Bon Bon approaching. The new mare smiles at her acquaintances.

‘Hi!’ Bon Bon greets. ‘I didn’t expect to see you here.’

‘Yeah. We were jus’ tryin’ t’ get away fer a bit and ended up here,’ Applejack explains.

‘Huh. Small world. So, what is there to do around here?’

‘Uh...’ both mares stammer.
…

Bon Bon floats in the ryokan’s onsen while Rarity pours the mares cups of sake.

‘So... What is there to do around here?’ Bon Bon asks. A cup of sake is levitated to her. ‘Ah. Right.’ She empties the cup and sends it floating back towards Rarity. ‘Next.’

‘What brings you to these parts?’ Rarity asks.

‘Lyra and her group are preparing for a show. I am taking a break from that. At least they are doing something important.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lyra stands at the center of a stage. She lets out a large belch that echoes through a theater.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Ah heard there's gonna be a festival or somethin’ tomorrow,’ Applejack offers.

Another cup of sake is levitated to Bon Bon’s chest. ‘Will there be more of this stuff there?’

Midday at the festival, a couple of the tourists are taking a break. Applejack is eating roasted corn on the cob. Bon Bon has her muzzle buried in a bag of sweets. She has several more bags around her.

‘This is so good,’ Bon Bon moans. ‘I have to try everything. I am going to have to trick Lyra into paying to upgrade my shop so I can make these more often.’

‘That good, eh? Mind if Ah have a bite?’

‘Go ahead.’

Bon Bon sets a small red fruit on her hoof. Applejack leans down and eats it. Her face instantly contorts.

‘That is umeboshi. Pretty good, right?’

‘Purdy somethin’...’

Bon Bon gets out a dried red fruit. ‘Hoshigaki?’

‘That’s a purdy flat apple...’

‘Persimmon.’

‘No thanks.’

‘Here,’ Bon Bon growls and holds a small bag out. It contains multi-colored candies. ‘Konpeito. Maybe more your style.’

Applejack takes a small mouthful and her eyes go wide. ‘These ain’t half bad. Might finally have a winner here.’

‘Fine. Don’t encourage me to share my taiyaki.’

‘Yer what?’

Rarity storms over and sits between her friends. She looks at both. Not getting any response, she huffs and levitates a fish-shaped confection from Bon Bon’s bags. She viciously bites the head off of the fish.

‘Uh, somethin’ eatin’ ya, Rarity?’

‘Oh, it is nothing really...’

‘Rarity, spit it out,’ Applejack snorts.

‘Well, I am trying to win a cute little dolly, but the game is rigged against unicorns.’

‘You mean they don’t allow magic,’ Bon Bon says while popping an umeboshi in her mouth.

Rarity steals another taiyaki. ‘That may or may not be the case.’

‘Rarity, are y’all tryin’ t’ ask fer help gettin’ yer doll?’

‘If it is not too much to ask.’

‘You’d have to actually ask first,’ Bon Bon snarks.

Rarity growls at the earth pony. Applejack sighs and gets up.

‘Come on. Let’s get ya yer doll.’

The unicorn laughs and leads her friend away. They trot past various stalls with food and games. Rarity eventually stops in front of a stall with an air rifle and a wall of prizes. In the center is a very large, pink alicorn doll. It is as big as the unicorn stallion running the stall. Under the doll is a very small target.

‘Back for more, eh?’ the stallion taunts.

Rarity turns her nose up. ‘Actually, I brought somepony who will destroy your silly game.’

‘Sure. I can give your fillyfriend a shot. Still gotta pay.’

‘Ah ain’t her fillyfriend,’ Applejack growls as she checks out the air rifle.

‘Okay. Wife. Whatever. I’m not judging.’

The farmer growls again, louder. ‘Let’s jus’ do this.’

The stallion puts a couple pellets into the rifle. ‘Knock over the target to win the prize. The targets get smaller and heavier for the better prizes.’

‘Jus’ knock over the targets?’

‘Correct. I can sense if any magic is used, so no cheating.’

Applejack stands on her hind legs and lifts the rifle. She scans the targets and takes careful aim. She fires three quick shots, and three loud clangs are heard. None of the targets move.

‘Better luck nex...’

A loud groan cuts the stallion off. Suddenly, the stand holding the top row of targets falls. It crashes into the stand for the next row of targets. Soon, all of the target stands crash to the ground. Rarity and the stallion stare in shock.

Applejack smirks and sets down the rifle. ‘Jus’ knock over the targets, right?’

The stallion whimpers over his ruined stall.

The victorious mare leans against the stall. ‘Ah can wait while y’all bag it all up.’

The stallion sighs and starts putting all of the prizes into bags. A small dragon doll is levitated from the prize racks. Rarity squeals as she rubs it against her cheek.

‘Wait a tic. That was it? Ah thought ya wanted the big one?’

‘But isn’t this one adorable? Won’t Spiky Wiky just love it?’

‘Ah can always give that big thin’ t’ Apple Bloom...’

The three tourists have returned to their room. The giant doll stares at them from across the room as they sit on the balcony and watch fireworks being shot off over the village. They have large bowls of shaved ice in front of them. Bon Bon moans and lays her head on the table.

‘Too full,’ she groans. ‘No! Must finish kakigori! Must not lose to... Oh, Celestia.’

Bon Bon gallops away to find a washroom.

‘This was quite a delightful little festival,’ Rarity muses.

‘Sure was. Ah’m jus’ glad Ah talked ya out o’ the fish game.’

‘Yes, I don’t know what I would do with a fish. I could have given it to Sweetie, but then then I would have had to give it to Opal after a couple days.’

‘At least nature woulda run its course. … Don’ tell Fluttershy Ah said that.’

Rarity laughs and goes back to her shaved ice. After a large burst of fireworks, she sighs, ‘We still have two more days here.’

‘So what do ya wanna do? Got any good ideas?’

‘Well, we could take another hike into the mountains. Maybe find more of those hot spring monkeys for Bon Bon.’

‘No. No monkeys.’ The mares on the balcony turn and look at Bon Bon as she trots back to her dessert. She grimaces and pushes it back a bit. ‘I get enough talk about monkeys and apes at home. Not on vacation.’

‘There is the tea ceremony demonstration at the shrine. We could try going to that.’

‘Tea ceremony? Don’ ya jus’ drink it?’

‘Just because it doesn’t involve apples, doesn’t mean it can’t be done artistically. Just look at those delicious biscuits Bon Bon got us earlier. Shaped like little fish. Very clever trick.’

‘Ah can see art in other stuff ‘sides apples, but tea? Really?’

‘Of course if you’re not mare enough to try it...’

‘Ya ain’t gonna trick me that easy.’

‘Celestia forbid I try to trick you. I am merely trying to goad you by saying your cultural pursuits are more for stallions than for your own gender.’

‘Y’all are lookin’ fer a busted jaw, ain’t ya?’

‘Ladies, please,’ Bon Bon interrupts. ‘Let’s not fight over this. We all know what the perfect thing to do tomorrow is.’

‘And that is?’ Applejack asks.

‘Enlighten us.’

‘It is obviously the mochi making class. We get to learn how to make a fun treat and get all of the free samples you can eat.’

The other mares exchange a look and turn back to Bon Bon.

‘Ah think ya have a problem.’

‘Agreed. Does Lyra know you are with foal?’

‘What the hell are you talking about?’ Bon Bon snarls.

‘Hey! Ah was jus’ sayin’ ya like sweets a bit much.’

‘Oh! That was what you were going for? I was having flashbacks to when Sweetie was born.’ Rarity shudders. ‘I hated modifying my mother’s clothing. I didn’t even get a commission.’

‘If we agree t’ go t’ the dang tea thingy, will ya stop bein’ a pretentious nag?’

Rarity gasps in shock several times then calmly takes a bite of her dessert. ‘Maybe.’

The other mares groan and collapse to the ground.

The three tourists trot towards the shrine. Rarity smiles as she leads them through the town. Bon Bon gives the confection shop a longing glance as they pass the tourists lining up for the mochi lesson. A shadow passes overhead, then Cloudchaser lands beside the group.

‘Hey gals! What’s up?’

‘Oh, Miss Cloudchaser. I didn’t know you were out here, too.’ Rarity replies.

‘Yeah. I was just visiting the northern island and started heading back to Haydo. I was getting thirsty so I thought I’d land for a drink. Small world, huh?’

‘Very. ‘specially since we’re headed t’ get tea right now.’

‘Tea? Really?’

‘Its a big fancy ceremony. It is all cultural and stuff, right, Rarity?’ Applejack teases.

‘Oh! The tea ceremony. Selene and I went to one of those.’ Cloudchaser leans towards Applejack. ‘How did she trick you into agreeing?’

‘Never too late for mochi,’ Bon Bon hints.

‘I think the tea ceremony will do just fine, thank you very much,’ Rarity huffs.

‘Come on, gals. There has to be something else to do around here.’
…

Applejack, Rarity, Bon Bon, and Cloudchaser lay in a circle on the floor of their room at the inn. They are wearing yukata and staring at a wind chime above them. A breeze wafts into the room. The mares hold their breath. The chime rings, and all of the tourists cheer. Applejack and Cloudchaser exchange a high hoof. They settle down and return to staring at the chime. After several minutes of silence, Bon Bon clears her throat.

‘If I may ask a bold question...’ she begins.

‘Ah got a bad feelin’ ‘bout this...’

‘Oh, go ahead, darling. We’re all adults here.’

‘Well, uh, is Applejack the only one of us who hasn’t dated a mare?’

Rarity gasps. ‘Why do you assume I have dated mares?’

‘I have my reasons...’

‘I’ve dated stallions, too!’ Cloudchaser protests. ‘Selene is just the first mare I have seen since coming to Ponyville.’

‘Then here is the real question.’ Rarity grins evilly. ‘Is AJ here the one of us who hasn’t been, uh, intimate with a mare?’

Applejack hits her friend with one of her forelegs. ‘Now why the hay would ya brin’ that up?’

‘I am simply curious.’

‘That ain’t the sorta thin’ ya talk about, and Ah ain’t gonna participate.’

‘Oh, please,’ Rarity groans. ‘I am sure half the town heard the announcement after your first time.’

‘Excuse me!’

Cloudchaser clears her throat. ‘Actually, I have never been with a mare before.’

‘Really? Who have the lucky stallions been?’ Rarity asks.

‘Um, just Thunderlane. He was the last pony I dated before Selene.’

‘Can we just call her Luna?’ Bon Bon asks. ‘We all know who she really is, right?’

‘Oh.’ Cloudchaser is surprised. ‘I didn’t know everypony knew.’

‘I try to ignore Lyra’s gossip but when a princess is in town, I get very interested, especially when she visits my shop to get you gifts before your dates.’

‘If ya don’ mind me askin’, why’d ya break up with Thunderlane?’

Cloudchasers sighs. ‘It was complicated.’

‘Well, now that we know of all of your partners and all of Applejack’s,’ Rarity says, earning another punch from her friend, ‘What about you, Bon Bon? Is Lyra your one and only?’

‘To be honest, my first and only other was my high school fillyfriend.’

‘Anypony I know?’

‘Actually, yes, it was Colgate. I dated her after you two broke up.’

‘Minni? I’m actually a little surprised.’

‘Really?’ Applejack scoffs. ‘Ya’ve been with half the town, includin’ mah brother, how can ya be surprised when somepony ya dated sees somepony else?’

‘I haven’t dated everypony.’

‘Ah guess “dated” ain’t the right word. “Had yer way with” is more like it.’

‘HMPF! I might be a bit more experienced than most ponies, but that doesn’t....’

‘Had enough experience to attract Thunderlane...’ Cloudchaser snorts.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘What? Sorry. No. If anything, you should be upset, too. You were just one of several mares he was cheating on me with.’

Rarity nervously laughs. ‘No hard feelings, I hope.’

‘Not towards you. Well, not anymore. I made peace with everypony, except that stupid stallion.’

‘I am glad to know that you are not mad at me. I had no idea. To be honest, I am usually a lot more discerning about the ponies I see.’

‘Ah say that’s what ya get fer bein’ as sex-obsessed as y’are.’

‘Oh, come on, Applejack,’ Bon Bon groans. ‘Just because you have one bad experience...’

Cloudchaser giggles. ‘I might have been hearing secondhoof rumors from Rainbow Dash, but “bad” is the exact opposite word she uses.’

Rarity smirks. ‘Fluttershy was skimping on the details of her experience from her “marriage”. Maybe now, I can hear a honest answer.’

Applejack turns bright red. ‘That is a private matter! Ah am disgusted y’all would even ask ‘bout that.’

‘We’re just asking if it was an enjoyable experience, deary. We’re not asking if he gave you a hornjob or the equivalent earth pony act.’

‘A WHAT?!’

‘Oh, don’t blush,’ Rarity chides. ‘Anypony that has passed middle school health knows that an unicorn’s horn is a sensitive piece of our anatomy. It is no less sensitive than playing with the pads of your hooves or rubbing your cutie mark.’

‘Or nibbling the ears,’ Bon Bon giggles.

‘Or preening,’ Cloudchaser sighs.

Applejack whimpers and pulls her hat over her blushing face.

‘No need to be shy. You might need to know this sort of thing for the next lucky stallion.’

‘Ooo!’ Cloudchaser squeals. ‘Speaking of that, you are so lucky. Sunshine is the sweetest.’

‘Sunshine?’ Bon Bon wonders.

‘One of Luna’s night guards. He is great. He has excellent calligraphy.’

‘Oh, ho. A expert at mouth writing,’ Rarity laughs. ‘If I were you, I’d be looking forward to shooting off some fireworks. I mean literally.’

‘What does that mean?’ Cloudchaser asks.

‘Well, because of our sensitive horns, unicorns sometimes cast weak spells, such as fireworks when, uh, excited. I mean, Applejack and I have seen Twilight teased to the point where she accidentally teleports herself.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight sneezes.

‘Tee hee! You sneeze like a kitten.’

Twilight wipes her nose and looks up to see Pinkie. The bubbly pony giggles at her friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rarity laughs. ‘I remember one time in my last year of high school. I threw a big party while my parents and Sweetie Belle were out of town. I had to explain several scorch marks as blown electrical circuits.’

‘Sorry,’ Bon Bon apologizes. ‘I think one of those was me.’

‘But you’re a...’

‘I was dating Colgate at the time.’

‘Oh. Right.’

‘Huh. I never knew that about unicorns,’ Cloudchaser comments.

Rarity’s smirk reappears. ‘What about you, Miss Cloudchaser? What was your max height?’

The pegasus blushes. ‘We got about half a meter.’ She looks at Bon Bon. ‘Pegasi lose control of our wings.’

‘Ah.’ Bon Bon glances towards the other earth pony in the room. Applejack is doing her best to hide. ‘I think we need a change of topic before we embarrass Applejack too much.’

‘Aw! But I was about to ask favorite positions!’ Rarity teases.

‘Jus’ kill me now,’ Applejack moans.

‘Well, I know it is only a slight subject change, but who here might want a foal some day?’ Bon Bon asks.

The questioner raises a hoof. Two others timidly raise a hoof as well. Rarity looks at the others and groans.

‘I know for a fact that I am not the only one with a much younger sister. I would hate to recreate the memories of what my mother went through.’

‘Yer jus’ jealous that ya can’t breed with a dragon,’ Applejack mumbles under her hat.

Rarity gives a shrill shriek and hits her friend.

The farmer laughs. She looks at the others. ‘Outa curiosity...’

Cloudchaser blushes. ‘Well, uh, if things don’t work out with Luna... I mean, I am sure if our relationship went far enough we would find a way. I mean, it is not like...’

‘Lyra and I have talked with James about genetically engineering an embryo,’ Bon Bon calmly states.

‘He can do that?’ Applejack asks.

‘We only talked about it. No promises.’

‘Nah, it is jus’ that the wonders never cease with him.’

‘Meh. Lyra is trying to convince me to let him, hmm... donate to the cause. I prefer the genetic engineering idea myself.’

‘He’d be a good father. Jus’ look at how well Rei turned out with him.’

‘That’s a laugh!’ Rarity scoffs.

‘Hey! She’s a good kid. She likes helpin’ out on the farm. Says it reminds her of her brother.’

‘Yeah. She says the same thing with the weather team,’ Cloudchaser adds. ‘Like it is a real connection with her sister or something.’

‘Hmm. She says a similar thing when she visits my shop,’ Bon Bon notes. ‘She always mentions how much somepony named Alba loves my treats. Do any of you know an Alba?’

Applejack tries hiding under her hat again and fidgets. ‘None come t’ mind.’

Rarity pokes her friend. ‘You’re hiding something.’

Applejack purses her lips. ‘Ah ain’t! Ah jus’ may have a promise or somethin’...’

‘Hmpf. I can just trick Twilight into telling when we get back.’

‘She doesn’ know... Ah’m the only one he trusted as far as Ah know.’

‘Does this have to do with Rei’s mysterious origins?’ Bon Bon asks.

‘Who cares where she is from?’ Cloudchaser groans. ‘She’s a great kid. That is all any of us need to know.’

‘Agreed.’ Applejack nods. ‘The only mystery pony we should be worried about is that odd pegasus we brought with us.’

‘It’s Daring Do,’ Cloudchaser calmly states. The others stare at her in shock. ‘What? You date somepony who uses a perception filter constantly, you pick up on a few things. Why do you think I look at things out of the corner of my eyes all the time?’

‘Does Rainbow know?’ Applejack asks. ‘She’ll flip... once she is done literally flippin’.’

‘Please. With how hard she has been trying to ditch her disguise, I’m surprised everypony doesn’t know yet.’

Rarity sighs and rolls back to stare at the wind chime. ‘You know, I should be surprised when something like this occurs...’

‘But it all seems relatively normal nowadays,’ Applejack finishes. She pauses for a moment before punching Rarity again. ‘Pervert.’

The unicorn hits back. ‘Ruffian.’

Cloudchaser leans towards Bon Bon. ‘Are they always like this?’

Bon Bon thinks for a moment. ‘You know, we totally forgot the sake this time.’

After a long afternoon getting Applejack’s cheeks unflushed, the four ponies are sitting around their room enjoying their dinner. The night is a little chilly from the cloud cover coming from the direction of the ocean. The evening is winding down nicely until the room lights flicker and go out. The guests stare at the light for a moment.

‘Old circuits,’ Rarity shrugs.

The others shrug too and go back to their meal.

The tourists wake up early to the sound of rain and the smell of breakfast being served in their room. One by one, the mares exit the bedroom, Applejack taking the time to wake Rarity.

‘That smells delicious,’ Cloudchaser moans. ‘I can get used to this.’

‘You might have to if this rain doesn’t let up,’ the matriarch replies as she sets bowl of soup in front of Bon Bon.

‘Just sounds like a little rain,’ Applejack comments as she is served her soup.

‘We have a thick roof. It is not really so gentle a storm. It is dangerous to even go into town today. The rail line is completely shut down.’

‘Pfft. Whatever,’ Cloudchaser scoffs. ‘I’m a professional weather mare. I can have the sky cleared in a matter of minutes.’

‘Oh, really?’ the matriarch laughs. She goes to the balcony and opens the door. A virtual waterfall pours off the balcony. ‘Have at it, Miss Weather Mare.’

Cloudchaser’s face falls in a hideous grimace. ‘So, uh, what board games do you have?’

Cloudchaser trots through the inn looking for something to do. Most of the residents are milling about the lounge areas, reading or watching the broadcasts that break through the storm. The pegasus hears sounds coming from a recreation room and follows them to find Applejack playing table tennis against all challengers. Rarity sits to one side reading a fashion magazine. Applejack defeats her current opponent, leaving the stallion to fetch the ball.

‘Better luck next time,’ the farmer taunts.

Cloudchaser steps up to the table and picks up a paddle in one wing. ‘So... you are pretty good at this, eh?’

‘Best in Ponyville,’ Applejack brags.

‘Really? You never played me. I was the undefeated champ at flight school. Even beat Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust at the Wonderbolt Academy.’

‘Well, ain’t y’all fancy.’

Cloudchaser lifts another paddle in her other wing. ‘I’d say I am.’

The stallion sets the ball on the table and quickly backs away. The pegasus lifts the ball in her hoof and starts lining up a shot.

Applejack picks up her paddle with her mouth and beckons with a free hoof. ‘Let’s play.’
…

Cloudchaser pants from her side of the table. Her wings fall by her sides, dropping her paddles.

Applejack spits out her paddle and smirks. ‘Givin’ up already?’

‘You’re too good,’ the pegasus pants. ‘I can’t keep up.’

‘Ah thought y’all were the best?’

‘No way. That’s you.’

Applejack laughs. ‘Anypony else wanna play?’

The other ponies in the room shake their head. Rarity calmly turns a page of her magazine.

‘What ‘bout you, Rarity?’

‘Please. A lady does not...’ The table tennis ball bounces off her horn. She looks up with a scowl on her face. ‘Oh, very mature, but you are not going to trick me so easily.’

‘Celestia forbid Ah try t’ trick you. Ah’m merely trying t’ goad ya by saying y’all can’ handle cultural pursuits more fer stallions than fer yer own gender.’

Rarity growls and narrows her gaze. She levitates the ball and paddle and goes to the table. ‘It. Is. On!’

Rarity serves the ball. Applejack returns the serve. Rarity calmly bats it back, using her magic to raise her magazine again. Applejack hits the ball hard, causing it to hit Rarity’s horn again. The unicorn turns and glares at the smirking earth pony. She growls and levitates several more paddles.

‘Oh, pony feathers,’ Applejack mumbles.
…

After a heated match, the two mares are sweaty and panting. Rarity has never used her magic this intensely. Applejack has had to work to keep up with Rarity’s magic. The other ponies at the inn have crowded around the table to watch the match.

‘So... y’all ready t’ give up now?’

‘A lady never quits.’

‘Considerin’ how loud y’all were gruntin’ durin’ the last volley, y’all ain’t sounding that ladylike.’

Rarity growls and serves the ball. Applejack returns it hard. Rarity blocks the shot, but a paddle is knocked from her magical grip. Applejack quickly hits the ball back, knocking away another paddle. Despite another hard return, Rarity is able to send the ball flying across the table. Applejack has to lean far to get to it in time. Rarity calmly swats the ball to the corner opposite Applejack. She laughs at her strategy. Applejack whips her tail up. A paddle held at the end slams the ball at the stunned unicorn. Rarity is too shocked to return, giving Applejack the point and the match. The spectators cheer the match. Both competitors nod in acknowledgement of the other’s effort then collapse on the floor.

The matriarch looks in the room as she passes. ‘Put a towel under them before they stain the wood.’

Applejack and Rarity groan as they stare out at the rain from their futons. They would love a soak in the onsen, but the rain is preventing them. Bon Bon trots into the bedroom and sets cups of tea in front of them.

‘Get your rest. It doesn’t look like we’ll be leaving soon.’

‘We should be clear to go in the morning,’ Cloudchaser says from the next room.

‘How can you tell?’

‘The rain is hard and fast. The clouds are going to lose their strength by’ -- she sniffs the air -- ‘about two in the morning.’

‘Impressive. Now, will it be sunny on my next dental appointment?’

‘I can arrange it so you can see your ex in the best possible light.’

‘That is not what I meant.’

‘I know,’ the pegasus laughs. ‘Just give me the date and I can slip in whatever weather you want.’

‘Even snow flurries?’

‘Y’all ain’t makin’ no snow befer harvest,’ Applejack groans.

‘Especially after all the work I put in my fall fashion line,’ Rarity moans.

The other mares laugh.

‘Just get some rest,’ Bon Bon says. ‘It is almost dinnertime.’

Cloudchaser sniffs. ‘About three rooms down. Hope you like spicy.’

In a light rain, the four mares board the train out of town. They immediately collapse in the nearest seats they can get. Applejack leans against the alicorn doll.

‘Ah am done with relaxin’ fer a long time.’

‘I wholeheartedly agree,’ Rarity sighs.

Bon Bon groans. ‘I still have to make it to Lyra’s concert. This is going to be a long day.’

‘I just want to curl up with Selene and...’ Cloudchaser gives a small snore as she rests her head on the window.

The train starts pulling from the station. The three awake mares look back. Applejack looks at Rarity.

‘Ah’m quite proud of ya, Rarity.’

‘Oh, what for?’

‘Ya didn’ try seducing any stallion despite all the looks ya were gettin’. Ya did good.’

‘A lady knows how to control her urges. Even if that one had large muscles and that other had powerful wings... and he was so handso...’ Rarity throws herself against the window and stares at the town. ‘Stop the train! I need to get to that hot spring with a stallion or five! I am missing a chance of a lifetime!’

Applejack sighs, shakes her head and pulls her hat down so she can get some rest.

Concluded in:

Tomodachi Sketch

Author's Note

Adventure in Neighpon Arc - Part 3

Story Event: I know the sex talk is a little out of place, but I wanted to put it somewhere. This just turned out to be that place. It also makes for good filler for an otherwise filler chapter. Filler-ception.

Fun fact: Hot spring monkeys are the third best animals after penguins and foxes, in that order.

Fun fact: The design of the town was a little inspired by Matsushima when I visited it. It was such a lovely small town when I went. Since the town is so near Sendai (one of the most beautiful cities I have been to), it is one of the reasons I avoided the hell out of seeing aftermath pictures of 3/11.

Fluttershy the Combat Maid

Main Characters: Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, River Song
Cameos: Professor Akuma
Original Write Date: July 14, 2012
Episode Theme

Fluttershy sighs contentedly as she trots down a trail towards a shrine. She has spent the past three days trotting and flying to all of the sights in the prefecture she is visiting. It has been very relaxing interacting only with fellow nature lovers and animals. She stops on her secluded path to smell some flowers by a lake. The quiet allows her to hear the wingbeats of somepony flying above her.

‘Geez. Even on your vacations you do boring things.’

Fluttershy sighs. ‘Hi, Rainbow Dash.’

The cyan pegasus lands beside her friend. She looks around with a bit of a frown on her face.

‘What brings you out here?’ Fluttershy asks.

Dash looks away, sheepishly. ‘Well, uh, none of the others are doing anything, and Rarity and AJ just left for some hot spring, and the other pegasi just pal around with their fillyfriends all day... I was bored, okay? I wanted to see what everypony was up to.’

‘So you came to smell flowers with me? How nice!’

‘Well, uh, I was gonna join Twi and Pinks, but I thought I would stop and see what you were up to first.’

‘How nice,’ Fluttershy huffs.

‘So, uh, what are ya up to?’

‘I was going to see this shrine right dow...’

A loud explosion disrupts the scene. The pegasi turn towards the sound. A yellow mare with a curly red mane charges towards them with a pistol in her mouth. She turns and fires behind her. The mare starts to run again, but she is tackled by Rainbow Dash.

‘Just where do you think you’re going?’

The mare studies her attacker for a moment and smiles. ‘Phew! If you are here, then I am safe. Mind letting me up, Rainbow Dash?’

‘How do you know my name?’

‘James told me all about you.’ She looks to the side. ‘Nice to see you, too, Fluttershy. Are you two still married? I can never keep track of that...’

Fluttershy squeaks and hides behind her mane. ‘No...’

‘So this is after the beach... Oh, that cafe in LA was so delightful. Just wish the boys didn’t start without me.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Dash asks.

‘Doctor River Song,’ River beams. ‘Pleasure to meet you... again.’

‘Huh?’

Fluttershy trots over and looks down at the pinned mare. ‘You’re... one of them?’

‘Not exactly. It is one of those wibbly-wobbly things.’

‘What are you two talking about?’ Dash demands.

The two older mares sigh, look at Rainbow Dash then exchange a knowing glance. ‘You have to marry one to get it.’

Rainbow Dash sits back, letting River up. The mare stands and holsters her weapon.

‘Thanks, Miss Dash. Stick around. The fun is only beginning.’

River gallops away, leaving the confused pegasi. Dash glares after the leaving pony. She crosses her forelegs and snorts.

‘I’m hungry. Let’s get something to eat,’ the upset pegasus grumbles.

Fluttershy looks back towards the shrine, sighs and joins her friend in heading back towards town.

Rainbow Dash snorts as she sets down her menu. The pegasus is still upset about the encounter earlier. ‘Who was that pony? Did you know her?’

‘Um, no,’ Fluttershy replies, ‘but I could sort of tell that she was a friend of James. They just have this air about them.’

‘Well, I don’t like it one bit. We don’t need another crazy time traveller running around and causing trouble.’

Fluttershy growls, ‘What is wrong with time travellers?’

‘I don’t mean your coltfriend. Sheesh. I mean the crazy ones that just zip around and do cool things and don’t bring me with them.’

‘Yeah, because that isn’t egotistical.’

Rainbow is about to argue, but somepony sits down and picks up a menu.

‘So, have we ordered yet? I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse.’

The pegasi look over to see River sitting with them. Rainbow growls, but Fluttershy smiles kindly.

‘Hello, again, River.’

‘Miss Shy. Miss Dash, always a pleasure.’

‘What do you want, River?’ Rainbow growls.

River sets down the menu. ‘I’m going to need your help with something.’

‘Why should we?’

‘Rainbow, hear her out.’

River reaches into her pouch. She sets a small, metal crest on the table. Rainbow’s wings flare out, and she gasps. Fluttershy stares at the crest, confused.

‘Is that what I think it is?’ Rainbow asks.

‘Right, you were at Bassen Rift.’ River takes a deep breath. ‘I am afraid it is from them.’

‘What is that?’ Fluttershy wonders.

‘Cyberponies,’ Rainbow growls.

‘You mean those things you and James fought last year? What would they be doing here?’

River reclaims the crest. ‘I don’t know why they are here, but it could only mean trouble.’

Rainbow slams a hoof on the table. ‘Where did you find that and how do we stop them?’

‘I came by your planet to investigate some kofun in the area. When I arrived, a crazed pony warned me of his employer, a Doctor Akuma or something. The next day, I found that crest at the kofun I was excavating. Some armed ponies gave chase. I made a quick escape, and now we’re having dinner.’

‘You’ll have to take us back there. We’ll do what we can to help you.’

‘Excellent, your help will come in handy if we face trouble.’

‘Tell me what to do. I’m in, too!’ Fluttershy declares.

The two others look at Fluttershy, blankly.

‘I don’t know...’ Rainbow hems.

‘You could look into this Akuma for us,’ River suggests.

‘Yeah, something safe and away from danger,’ Rainbow adds.

‘But...’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ River assures. ‘We’ll take care of the hard stuff.’ She pats Fluttershy on the head. ‘Don’t worry your cute little head.’

Fluttershy growls and lifts her menu. The waiter steps up.

‘Are you ready to order?’

‘Fruit juice. Something strong,’ the upset pegasus snorts.

Fluttershy trots around a kofun. She is grumbling about being bullied into doing the grunt work for Rainbow and River. At least the pegasus gets to do what she originally intended to do and is seeing more historical sites. She wanders the site a bit before she encounters another pony. An older light green unicorn with a faded blue mane containing several grey strands is digging at the ground. He stops to wipe his brow when he sees Fluttershy.

‘Oh, good morning,’ the unicorn greets. ‘I didn’t know anypony else was out here this early.’

‘I like to start my sightseeing early,’ Fluttershy replies with a smile.

‘Well, you chose a wonderful one to start with.’ The unicorn bows. ‘I am Professor Akuma, head archaeologist for this site. Feel free to ask me anything.’

‘Anything?’

Akuma nods.

Fluttershy thinks for a second then takes a deep breath. She rapidly starts asking, ‘Why are the kofun shaped the way they are? They look like Equestrian-style keyholes, something uncommon in Ancient Neighpon, so is that a universal shape? Also, are kofun anything like the mastabas the Camels built? Do they have intricate tomb structures under them?’

Akuma laughs. ‘That is a lot of...’

‘Hold on, I am not done yet,’ Fluttershy interrupts. She takes another deep breath. ‘Is there any significance in the size and location of the kofun? Have you noticed that your name almost sounds like a poor translation of “bad horse” in Equestian Proper? Do they have any exterior markings to indicate them as kofun? What sort of artefacts are associated with kofun sites? Is there any overlap between the kofun period and the neighboring periods? Does the pattern of pony migration and settlement have any influence on...’

Akuma just smiles and listens to Fluttershy’s endless questions.
…

While Fluttershy distracts Akuma, River does a little excavating of her own around the site. She has her hoofheld sensor out and is scanning the ground. Rainbow Dash circles overhead. River taps a few buttons and moves forward.

‘This is very interesting,’ the time traveler muses. She holds up a hoofful dirt and studies it. ‘Very interesting indeed.’

‘Looks like dirt to me,’ Dash grumbles.

‘It is more than just dirt, Miss Dash. It is a piece of history.’ River sets down her scanner and starts digging. ‘See, most kofun date to the middle of the Classical Era. Modern preservation techniques and erosion change the external dirt layers, but they tend to leave the inner core intact. The age of the inner layers is much earlier than the first pony settlement of Neighpon.’

‘So what does that mean?’

‘It means, whatever is buried here has been here for a long time.’

‘So the Cyberponies have been just sitting here waiting to invade?’

River looks up at the pegasus. ‘It is likely that the ship was time displaced and crashed ages ago. Judging by the size of the mound and the age of the internal dirt... It was only small ship with a few dozen Cybers onboard, crashing about twenty thousand years ago. Whatever is down there predates Discord.’

‘Holy moley! A dozen of 'em would be enough to wipe out the planet!’

‘Exactly, but the ship must have been heavily damaged. I’m not detecting any lifesigns though...’ -- she looks around -- ‘unless somepony is using a hair dryer in the area...’

‘What?’

‘Huh?’

‘Hair dryer?’

‘What about it?’

‘Uh...’

River’s scanner starts beeping. She picks it up and smiles. ‘Looks like we found something.’

River gallops away with Dash flying behind. They reach a section of the kofun where the dirt appears disturbed. River draws her pistol.

‘This must be where they broke free. Recently, too.’

Dash scans the area for any threat.

‘It is no use, Miss Dash. They are probably gone by now. No more than two or three. Still enough of a threat...’ -- she bends down and picks up a piece of electronics -- ‘if their primary weapons systems weren’t damaged. Excellent.’ She stands and scans the area. ‘I’ll try to pick up their trail. They will likely be looking for a place to rebuild and repair themselves.’

A bright glint catches Dash’s eye. ‘What was that? Looked like a shiny rat.’

River turns and scans. ‘It’s not a rat; it’s a cybermat.’

‘A what?’

‘The Cyberponies use them to drain electricity and transmit it back to their base. It could lead us straight to where they have reestablished themselves!’

‘Got ya. Catch the rat.’

‘It is not a...’

Dash does not listen. She takes off flying after the cybermat. The small creature zooms back into the city, the pegasus in close pursuit. They weave through the city, the cybermat almost getting stepped on by multiple ponies while Rainbow Dash barely avoids slamming into several other pegasi. The cybermat eventually makes its way to a fenced-in building and darts into a hole. Rainbow Dash flies over the fence and hovers before the building. A second later, River teleports beside the pegasus. The earth pony presses a few buttons on a device on her left foreleg.

‘You are a tough one to track, Miss Dash.’

‘Ya said to follow it...’

‘And you did a great job, too.’

‘What is this place?’ Dash asks.

River scans the building. ‘It appears to be an electrical relay station. That makes a lot of sense since the Cybers would need a lot of electricity to power their conversion process.’

‘All right! Let’s storm ‘em!’

‘Not so fast!’ River warns. ‘We need a plan of attack. Let’s head back to your hotel for now.’

Rainbow Dash glares at the relay station. ‘Just don’t wanna let them free too long.’

‘Don’t worry, Miss Dash. Once they are subdued, the drinks will be on me.’

The pegasus gives one last snort and follows River away.

Back at the kofun, Fluttershy explores the excavation site. Professor Akuma was surprisingly knowledgeable and was able to answer most of her questions. She feels a little proud that her freaky knowledge of Neighponese history actually paid off. She trots to a visitors center to look at some of the artefacts. She spots Akuma slipping into an employees-only area. The pegasus steps to the door. Making sure she is not being watched, she flexes a wing and secretly activates the sonic screwdriver James gave her during their fake marriage. The door opens, and Flutterspy sneaks in. She goes from door to door and stops when she hears Akuma’s voice coming from an office. Flutterspy peeks in to see the archaeologist at a computer.

‘We haven’t seen the interloper since yesterday. I think we scared her off.’

‘Our sensors show she was at your location earlier today,’ an electronic voice states.

‘Impossible. I have been out here since sunrise, and I didn’t see a single sign of her.’

‘The entrapment is large and you are but one pony. You do not have the benefit of our upgrades.’

‘If it wasn’t for me, you would still be trapped. Hurry and free your others. I am getting tired of taking orders from a brain in a jar. I have done my part. You better deliver the limitless knowledge you promised.’

‘You will be assimilated with the others. You would make an excellent cyber controller.’

‘Whatever, toaster. Don’t contact me unless you are ready to pay up.’

Akuma turns off his computer, sits back and snorts. Fluttershy backs away and sneaks back towards the visitors center.

‘Hey!’ a voice shouts. ‘This area is staff only. What are you doing back here?’

A large pegasus in a guard’s uniform steps up.

Fluttershy turns around with tears streaming down her cheeks. ‘I-I-I w-was only l-looking for the washroom,’ she sobs.

The crafty pegasus lets out a loud wail and covers her face with a wing. The guard grimaces and backs away. Akuma comes out of his office.

‘What is going on here?’ the professor demands.

‘I-I got lost l-looking for the w-washroom,’ Fluttershy blubbers.

Akuma pats Fluttershy on the back. ‘There, there, my dear Fluttershy. I’ll show you where they are.’ He laughs. ‘I had a tough time finding them my first month here, too.’

‘Thank you,’ the pegasus whispers.

Fluttershy trots away with Akuma. She briefly looks back to smirk at the guard.

In their hotel room, Rainbow Dash does leg and wing exercises while River makes sure her pistol and portable computer are charged. Fluttershy watches them worriedly.

‘Are you sure you are targeting the right place?’ Fluttershy asks. ‘I mean, the conversation I heard...’

‘If there are any Cyberponies still under the kofun, they are either trapped or dead or hopefully both,’ River replies. ‘Two or three in a warehouse is target practice.’

‘Don’t worry, Shy,’ Dash assures. ‘We’ll be in and out and back before you know it. After that, River is buying the drinks. Party!’

The worried pegasus whines pensively. ‘I’ll take your word for it... You better be safe.’

‘Has your Friendly Neighborhood Rainbow Dash ever let you down?’

Fluttershy looks down and kicks the carpeting. Rainbow Dash gives her friend a gentle hug then goes to a window. River nods, trots to the door, and they take a breath and head to combat.

River stands on her hind legs with her back against the wall of the relay station. She looks at her scanner, taps her pistol against the wall once and points down. She taps twice and points up. Above her, a hovering Rainbow Dash nods, backs off then bolts forward, aiming at a large window. River turns and kicks open a nearby door while Rainbow Dash crashes through the window. The pegasus knocks a pair of Cyberponies off of a walkway onto a third below. While the cyborgs collect themselves, River calmly walks over and holds her pistol to a Cyberpony with a black skull plate.

‘We can do this my way or the fun way,’ the pony offers.

‘We have no need for fun,’ the Cyberpony replies.

River shoots one of the others. ‘Care to rethink that?’

‘We will assimilate you all. We will erase your needless emotions. Our armies will march across...’

River shoots the Cyberpony. ‘You talk too much.’

The pony aims her pistol at the last Cyberpony. The cyborg charges electricity on the end of a hoof, getting River to step out of reach. Instead of advancing, it sticks the hoof into one of the transformers. The transformer blows, setting off a chain reaction. River shoots the Cyberpony before it can continue. The power surge continues, blowing out all of the transformers and relays. River and Rainbow dart from the building.

‘Don’t look back. Don’t look back,’ Dash says to herself.

‘What?’

‘Cool ponies don’t look at...’

The relay building explodes. The shockwave throws the two ponies flying into a nearby rice field.

‘...the explosion,’ Dash snorts, as a rice plant grows in her mane.

‘WHAT! THAT WAS REALLY LOUD!’

‘Stop shouting!’

‘CLOP WHAT? YOU’RE DISGUSTING!’

Rainbow Dash growls and drags River from the pond before the authorities arrive.

Back at the hotel, the three mares are celebrating the successful mission in the dark. River has her ears wrapped in a bandage. They hold up cups of sake and drink by candlelight.

‘Kampai!’ Dash and River cheer.

‘Right. Yeah,’ Fluttershy mumbles.

‘Cheer up, Shy!’ Dash slaps her friend in the back. ‘We just saved the world again!’

‘I don’t know what “rave a hen” means,’ River says, ‘but if it is anything like saving the world, we did that, too.’

‘I’m just worried that they are still out there. The ship is still under the kofun...’

‘We’ll check it out tomorrow. Now, we party.’ Dash drains her cup in one shot. She hiccups and passes out face first into the table.

River laughs, ‘Just wait until I take her out to really party.’

Fluttershy takes one sip of her drink. She starts giggling uncontrollably.

River takes the cup. ‘And you’re at the limit I am willing to risk with you.’

The drunk pegasus giggles again. ‘If James were here, I’d have him over the table by now.’

‘And you passed that limit on one sip.’ River slides the drinks away. ‘Let’s get you some coffee and sober you up a bit. Sound good?’

Fluttershy giggles, nods and gets up. ‘I think I need a cold shower more.’

‘I’ll say,’ River groans as she helps the pegasus to the washroom.

The next day, Fluttershy trots through the blacked-out city looking for something to do. Her head is pounding and her haunches are really sore for some reason. She cannot remember anything after Rainbow Dash and River returned last night, too. She does remember them talking about a fish though...

The pegasus is so lost in thought, despite the pounding headache, that she bumps right into somepony. She groans as she lands on her sore haunches. The other pony offers a friendly hoof.

‘Well, well, Miss Fluttershy. We keep bumping into each other,’ Professor Akuma greets. ‘I’m beginning to think you like me.’

‘I prefer older stallions,’ the pegasus replies, standing. ‘Much older. … OH!’ she gasps when her memory partially returns.

Akuma laughs. ‘It is all right.’ He studies the mare for a moment. ‘You know, you are a quite an intelligent pony. You would make a good leader.’

‘Um... Thank you?’

‘Oh, don’t thank me just yet.’ He casts a charm on the unsuspecting mare. ‘You can thank me by giving me the limitless knowledge I deserve.’

Fluttershy sways and faints. Akuma lifts her onto his back and trots away.

Rainbow Dash holds her head as she sloppily flies around the kofun. River trots below with her scanner out.

‘What was in that stuff you gave me last night?’ the pegasus groans.

‘It wasn’t really that strong,’ River laughs. ‘You’re just a hollow-boned pegasus.’

‘What was that!’ Dash instantly groans and holds her head. ‘Keep it down...’

River laughs again and keeps scanning. Rainbow Dash groans and lands. She trots alongside the archaeologist.

‘Um, River, I think our room is haunted.’

‘That is crazy. Why would you say that?’

‘Didn’t you hear all of that ghastly moaning coming from the washroom last night?’

River grimaces. ‘Don’t remind me.’

‘So you did...’

A silver streak darts past. The two ponies stare in shock.

‘Was that..?’

‘I am afraid it was, Miss Dash.’

‘Son of a...’

The cybermat darts away. Rainbow Dash launches herself after the creature. The chase weaves around the kofun and ends when the cyberbat burrows under the visitors center. The ponies try the doors, but they are locked. They round the building, and Rainbow Dash helps River through a window. The archaeologist draws her pistol and examines her scanner. They sneak through the visitors center in pursuit of the cybermat.

‘Hey! What are you doing here?’ a patrolling guard shouts.

River spins around with her pistol ready. ‘We’re looking for the washroom.’

The guard calmly sets his keys on the floor, ditches his uniform and gallops from the building. The mares sigh and continue their search. They enter the backroom area and make their their way to Akuma’s office. River pushes open a closet door, revealing a secret passage heading under the building.

‘Looks like somepony has been busy,’ Dash comments.

River heads inside. ‘Always love a good tomb.’

The two ponies head deep into the passage. Artificial lights line the walls. They head deeper under the ground until they reach a large cavern. A pair of Cyberponies stand outside of a rusted hatch. River readies her pistol. She and Rainbow Dash exchange nods and enter the cavern ready for a fight.

‘Surrender, punks!’ Dash threatens.

The Cyberponies scream and cover their heads with their hooves.

‘We are sorry!’ one of the cyborgs exclaims.

‘Please don’t be mad at us!’ the other shouts.

‘Uh... what?’ Dash looks at River, confused. ‘What’s going on here?’

‘W-we have a new Cyber Queen. We are experiencing new sensations.’

‘Shy Cyberponies? New queen? You don’t think..?’ Dash asks.

‘Let’s not think about that now, Miss Dash.’ River replies. She aims her pistol at one of the Cyberponies. ‘Take us to your leader.’

The Cyberpony shrieks and starts trotting away. The mares follow.

‘I wanted to say that,’ Dash huffs.

The Cyberpony leads the mares through the crashed ship. Other Cyberponies scream and hide from the new ponies. The group enters a command room. Cyberponies line the walls. Professor Akuma glares at the new arrivals. At the center of the room, the Cyber Queen smiles at her guests. Fluttershy sits calmly despite having an odd golden headpiece similar to the Cyberpony’s antenna. A Cyberpony brings Fluttershy a juice box. She takes the drink and smiles. All of the Cyberponies make a ‘squee’ sound.

‘Thank you,’ Fluttershy says to the Cyberpony. She turns to her friend while sipping her drink. ‘Can I get them to get you anything?’

‘What is going on here?’ River asks, looking around and getting the Cyberponies to duck when the pistol is waved in their direction.

‘It seems they needed a new leader after your intervention yesterday,’ Akuma replies.

‘I don’t get what you were so worried about,’ Fluttershy giggles while drinking. ‘They are a lot sweeter than you said. Aren’t you?’

All of the Cyberponies make the ‘squee’ sound again.

Akuma groans. ‘It seems she has a stronger mind than they are used to, and her personality overwrote their programming.’

River holsters her weapon. ‘Huh. I knew there was a reason James really liked her.’

‘Duh, he loves her. They’re married,’ Dash groans.

Fluttershy facehooves, causing the Cyberponies to facehoof. ‘That was a trick. We weren’t really married.’

‘Wait. When did that happen? Nopony tells me anything!’ Dash snorts, sitting back and crossing her forelegs.

‘I told you first, genius!’

The Cyberponies aim their weapons at Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy closes her eyes and gets her emotions under control.

‘No. I will not let New Fluttershy take over.’

‘If she will honor our agreement, I don’t mind,’ Akuma snorts.

‘We had no such deal!’ Fluttershy shouts. ‘You missed your opportunity to gain the knowledge you sought when you had me take your place as their leader. You would barely qualify as a drone now.’

‘I was offered unlimited knowledge in exchange for helping these creatures. I kept my end of all of our deals. I deserve to...’

Fluttershy holds up a hoof. ‘Take him for processing.’

‘Fluttershy!’ River gasps. ‘You are sending him to his death. That is not you!’

The pegasus winces. ‘Stop it! Stop it! Fluttershy is in charge now.’

‘Fluttershy is threatening other ponies with death,’ River counters.

‘Including her friends,’ Dash nervously adds, eying all the weapons still aimed at her.

‘Quiet! All of you!’ Fluttershy shouts. ‘I am tired of being told what to do and how to feel! This is why you drive me to New Fluttershy all the time!’

‘There is no way, even when you were Discorded, you would want to kill somepony,’ Dash worries.

‘Silence! I’m just... Stop it! You are trying to confuse me. I-I-I... Shut up!’

‘It is okay, Fluttershy,’ River calms. ‘That is just the Cyberpony programming trying to change you into something you are not. You have to fight it.’

‘I can’t!’ Fluttershy screams. ‘It is hurting so much. I can’t fight it.’

‘Please, Fluttershy. Can we have the real you back?’ Dash begs. ‘I really would like to keep my head where it is.’

‘I’m trying.’ She reaches up to the headpiece and screams in pain.

‘Find something you love and focus on that!’ River shouts.

‘Think of your family,’ Dash suggests. ‘Think of your friends. Think of James! Think of...’

Suddenly, a happy ringtone starts playing from one of the consoles. One of the Cyberponies brings Fluttershy’s mobile to her and activates it.

M-mommy? Rei asks over the line.

‘Rei?’

Mommy, daddy is being mean to me.

‘What is he doing, dear?’

He... he is being yelly and keeping me in my room. I miss you, mommy.

Fluttershy chokes back a tear. ‘I miss you, too, Rei.’

Can you get daddy to be nice again?

‘You know he still loves you, Rei. If he is punishing you, you know he has a reason and he feels awful about it, too. Don’t worry, Rei. Hang in there.’

I will, Rei sobs. You hang in there, too, mommy. I love you.

‘I love you, too.’

Rei hangs up. The Cyberpony hangs up the mobile and returns it to Fluttershy. The pegasus looks down and sobs. She slowly reaches up to the headpiece and throws it to the floor. The Cyberponies short out and slump over. Fluttershy holds her head in her hooves and sobs. Rainbow Dash goes to her friend and hugs her.

‘I did a bad thing,’ Fluttershy cries.

‘You didn’t hurt anypony. Just scared us a bit,’ Dash assures. ‘It is okay. Let’s blow this place and get outa here.’

‘Not so fast.’

The mares look to see Akuma levitate the headpiece to him.

‘Don’t do it!’ River warns. ‘Your mind will be wiped and their programming will take over.’

‘Limitless knowledge. You cannot pass that up.’

Akuma lowers the headpiece. The device activates, causing him to scream in pain. As soon as he stops, he looks up with completely black eyes.

‘Assimilate them,’ Cyber Akuma commands.

Before River can draw her weapon, the Cyberponies spring to life and subdue the mares. They are shocked by the Cyberpony’s electrically-charged hooves.

‘No,’ Fluttershy snorts.

‘What?’ Cyber Akuma asks.

‘NO! NO MORE HURTING!’

The cyberized unicorn takes a step back as Fluttershy breaks free. She advances on the former professor as she locks The Stare on his lifeless eyes.

‘You are not going to hurt anypony else! There has been enough hurting today! I hurt too many ponies, and now I will stop you from hurting more! You will stop your hurting or, uh, I’ll make your head explode with my mind!’

Cyber Akuma shakes with fear. The Cyberponies surrounding the other mares start shaking, too. The head of one of the Cyberponies explodes.

River looks around. ‘Time to run.’

Another Cyberpony’s head explodes. Rainbow Dash looks around. She grabs the shocked Fluttershy’s tail and pulls her out of the door. The pegasi start flying and carry River from the crashed ship. The tunnel collapses as the ship self-destructs. The group makes it out of the tunnel before they are trapped. They collapse on the floor, panting. Reacting to the loud noises coming from the office, a guard bursts into the room.

‘What is going on here?’

Fluttershy looks at the two mares next to her then at the guard. ‘Which way to the washroom again?’

After getting cleaned up, River is seeing them off at a reopened cafe. The three mares all have drinks, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash opting for fruit juice. Fluttershy is staring at her juice dejectedly.

‘Great job!’ River congratulates. ‘You kicked a lot of flank.’

‘But...’ Fluttershy mopes.

‘The Cyberponies were dead long before they were unearthed. You set them free in the end.’

‘No... Rei sounded very upset. I wish I could have done more for her...’

‘Trust me. It will work out.’

Fluttershy smiles. ‘Okay. I believe you.’

‘So what now?’ Dash asks.

River finishes her drink. ‘Just enjoy your vacation. The Cybers are gone. You’re heroes again. Put your hooves up and take it easy. Well, I must be off. See you around, gals. Fluttershy, say “hi” to your mom for me.’

‘What?’

River laughs, ‘Spoilers.’

The traveler presses a button on her foreleg mounted device and disappears. The pegasi stare at the empty space. Fluttershy takes a sip from her drink.

‘Shy?’

‘Yes, Rainbow?’

‘Can we go to another nature preserve? I just want to smell some flowers.’

Fluttershy giggles and takes a long drink of her juice.

Concluded in:

Tomodachi Sketch

Author's Note

Adventure in Neighpon Arc - Part 4

Story Timeline: Fluttershy (briefly) becomes the cyber queen. Rainbow Dash blacks out Neighpon.

Fun fact: This chapter was intended to be in the Nara area. Unfortunately, I had to base most of the antics off of my research paper on Japanese archaeology. It is a very amazing subject if you choose to investigate it.

F City, F Prefecture

Characters (Human): Twilight, Pinkie
Characters (Pony): Twilight, Pinkie
Original Write Date: July 13, 2011
Episode Theme

Warning: There are some adult themes stemming from two people having to share hotel rooms while on vacation. If you have never shared a room with three friends and one of their girlfriends and had a discussion of Captain Morgan-ing naked, then this chapter is not for you.

Twilight yawns as she leans against the glass on the shinkansen ride out of the city. Next to her Pinkie presses her face against the window as she watches the scenery pass.

‘Twilight! Twilight! Look! The big mountain! The famous one!’

Twilight smiles and nods as her eyelids grow heavy. She yawns again and figures a short nap is in order.

‘Kobe!’ Twilight yells. ‘We ended up in Kobe! You were supposed to wake me by Kyoto!’

Pinkie shrinks away from her friend. ‘I’m sorry! You just looked so peaceful sleeping. I didn’t want to wake you.’

Twilight takes several deep breaths. She reins in a growl as she huffs, ‘Fine. We’ll just have to get new tickets. James was right that these rail passes pay for themselves quickly.’ She gets out her rail pass and holds it in her hand. Well, this is one less day of museums...

Twilight and Pinkie arrive at their hotel later than they should, thanks to Pinkie getting lost when they changed trains in Osaka. Unfortunately, the women were only able to get a single. Twilight is not looking forward to sharing a bed with Pinkie. The other woman happily bounds into the room and immediately starts playing with everything she can get her hands on.

‘Ooo! Looky! Looky!’ Pinkie says while playing with a lamp. She giggles as she turns it off and on.

Twilight groans, ‘It is getting dark. Let’s try and find someplace to eat before it gets too late.’

‘Oh! Oh! We should totally stop for bread on the way back.’

‘Bread?’

‘Yeah! James said that his favorite snacks when he lived here was bread. I want to try them all!’

‘Well, melon bread does feature in a lot of the shows he and Rei like...’

‘Great! Hey! Let’s try that family restaurant I saw! It looks fun!’

‘Pinkie, we should be trying new things not... WHA!’

Pinkie drags her friend out of the hotel room before Twilight can start one of her trademark lectures.

Twilight sits at the small table in the hotel room. She is mapping the distance between museums, shrines and other historical monuments, measuring distance with one hand while writing notes with her other. She is trying to brush her hair before bed as well. Pinkie can be heard singing to herself from the shower.

‘If we take the train there...’ She gets out a small booklet. ‘No, the wait would offset any time saving if we just ran...’

The singing and shower ends. Twilight takes a deep breath while she waits for her friend. Soon the washroom door opens.

‘It is good that you’re finished. The time we lost today really put us behind schedule. We’re going to have to go to bed ear-ya!’ Twilight covers her eyes and blushes as she turns away from her topless friend. ‘Pinkie! Where are your clothes?’

‘What? Oh! This is how I always sleep, silly.’

‘You never did that at any of my sleepovers!’

‘Uh, duh. I am not going to do that in public. Even Fluttershy changed her sleep habits for those.’

‘Wait. What?’

‘Besides, I figure it is just the two of us. It should be fine.’

‘C-can’t you put on a shirt or something?’ Twilight asks, peeking between her fingers.

‘But I only brought the one change of clothes...’

‘Pinkie, we are going to be out for Celestia knows how long. Why did you only bring one change of clothes?’

‘So I could have more room for goodies!’

Twilight peeks again at her larger friend and covers her smaller chest. ‘F-fine. Just for tonight though. I’m getting you something to wear for the rest of the trip.’

‘Aww! You’re no fun. You should lighten up and be free sometime.’

‘I am plenty fun. I have enough data to scientifically prove that I am a very fun person. Now, we should really get to sleep if we are going to make it everywhere I have planned tomorrow.’

Pinkie pouts. Twilight groans and relocates herself to the bed as best she can without looking at her friend. She reluctantly pats beside her. Pinkie squeals and joins her friend. Twilight tenses up as her friend grabs her in a big cuddle and nuzzles the back of her neck.

‘Nighty night, Twilight!’

‘N-night, Pinkie.’

Twilight sits and pants outside of Kiyomizudera. She finishes one bottle of water and opens another. Instead of taking the bus to the temple like most tourists, Twilight wanted to walk up the mountain. The time wasted catching her breath is cutting into the time she could be spending in the temple.

Pinkie, on the other hand, flitters from shop to shop as she makes her way up to the temple. She even carries bags filled with gifts for her friends. Somehow, she hasn’t broken a sweat yet. She finishes in one shop and prances up to Twilight. The encumbered woman sits by her friend and offers a small tray.

‘Takoyaki? I don’t know what it is, but it is delicious!’

Twilight grimaces. ‘That is fried octopus balls.’

‘Huh. I didn’t know they had any.’

‘That is not what I meant.’

‘Ooo! Are you ready to go in? I really want to see the “love shrine”.’ She blushes. ‘I have reasons.’

‘You know their predictions are all fake,’ Twilight groans. ‘They say what you want to hear or what will get you to buy more services from them.’

‘And who got a really cool birthday present this year?’

Twilight jumps and puts her hand over the sonic screwdriver in her back pocket. ‘Th-that was just luck. You didn’t know James was going to come into our lives like that.’

Pinkie gasps. ‘How did you know who I wanted a love reading on?’

‘Because I am a magical purple unicorn. Sheesh. Let’s just go.’

Twilight stands and finishes her water. As soon as she is done, Pinkie grabs her arm and drags her away.

Twilight moans as she collapses on the bed as soon as she gets into the hotel room. She starts fumbling in her pack for a notebook. Pinkie waves to another guest before joining her friend. She sets half her weight in gifts in their small room.

‘If we get up early enough, we can hit one more sight before we head to the next city.’

‘Aww! But I was having fun here.’

‘There are a lot more cities I want to see. We have the rest of the south to finish before we get to the next island, then I want to visit the north after we’re done.’

Pinkie counts on her fingers. ‘But that is like, only two or three days per city. What if we miss something or there is a big festival?’

‘We have plenty of time to adjust things on the fly.’

‘What if there is a huge accident that knocks the nation’s rail system offline?’

‘James did a scan for potential seismic activity. We are in the clear.’

‘But less time away means less Twilight and Pinkie time...’

‘Pinkie, we’ll be on this route for at least another week. You can always come up north with me, too.’

‘Yay! I can’t wait! You’re the best, Twilight!’

Pinkie leaps to give her friend a hug.

‘Wait! No! My back is...’

Twilight screams as Pinkie lands on her sore back.

Miyajima. Twilight and Pinkie are making an unscheduled detour at Pinkie’s insistence. The detour got detoured when the tourists exiting the ferry got surrounded by the local deer population. Twilight stands off to the side while Pinkie feeds the deer.

‘Twilight! Twilight! This is great! You can feel them nibbling the treats.’

‘That’s good, Pinkie,’ Twilight groans. ‘Mind hurrying it up? We still have more of the island to see.’

‘Um, Twilight?’

‘What?’

‘Help.’

Twilight turns towards her friend. The pink-haired woman is trapped as a circle of deer close in to get at the treats. Pinkie screams as she trips and drops the deer treats everywhere. The deer swarm the downed woman to get at the food. Twilight rushes over to free her friend from her predicament.
…

Twilight and Pinkie sit on the ferry back to the mainland. They have an entire cabin to themselves.

‘Twilight...’

‘Yes, Pinkie?’

‘I think I need a shower.’

Twilight looks at her friend. They are sitting at opposite ends of the cabin. Twilight is covering her mouth and nose. Pinkie’s hair and clothes are covered in mud and other indications of her deer encounter.

‘Gee, Pinkie. Whatever gave you that idea?’

Twilight and Pinkie step off the train in Fukuoka. Twilight breathes deep the fresh air. She takes another breath then starts coughing as Pinkie stands beside her. The woman may have cleaned up, but her clothes are still a mess.

‘OOO! This city looks soooo pretty!’ Pinkie marvels.

Twilight checks her watch. ‘We still have some time before checking into the hotel. We should get you something new to wear...’

Pinkie sniffs her shirt. ‘He, he. I guess I am a bit ripe.’

The two women walk off to find a department store. Other pedestrians clear a wide path for them.
…

Twilight looks through a clothes rack at the nearest department store. She picks out a few items Pinkie might like and one or two for herself.

‘Twilight! How do I look?’

Twilight looks up. Pinkie has a bright pink blouse with matching skirt. When she poses to show off to her friend, her skirt flips causing a passing guy to run off covering his nose.

‘Looks good,’ Twilight sighs. She hands over several items. ‘Here. You might like these. Don’t forget to find a backpack to put everything in.’

Pinkie holds up a shirt and giggles. ‘This shirt has bad English.’

‘I thought you would enjoy that,’ her friend groans.

‘Hey! At this rate, we’ll have done more clothes shopping than Rarity.’

‘Yeah, but she does it for fun, not because she got assaulted by a herd of deer. She is probably having a lot more fun right now.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Applejack, Rarity, Bon Bon, and Cloudchaser lay in a circle on the floor of their room at the inn. They are wearing their yukata and staring at a wind chime above them. A breeze wafts into the room. The women hold their breath. The chime rings, and all of the women cheer. Applejack and Cloudchaser exchange a high five.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Anyway, I am going to pay for these. I’ll be in the video games once you are done.’

Twilight takes the items she selected to the counter while Pinkie hops back to the changing rooms. She pays her for new outfits and heads into the store. Passing through the clothing department, she heads to the floor with the toys and video games. The princess smiles and wanders the aisles, looking for something James might enjoy. Drawn to the video game aisles, she picks up a box for a game. It takes a moment for the text to translate in her mind so she can read the box. Suddenly, she sneezes.

‘Tee hee! You sneeze like a kitten.’

Twilight wipes her nose and looks up to see Pinkie. The bubbly woman giggles at her friend. Her new clothes are haphazardly stuffed in an anime-themed backpack. Twilight sets down the game.

‘Did you get everything you needed?’

‘All except one. Come on!’

Before Twilight can question her further, Pinkie grabs her hand and takes her back to the the women’s clothing section. She heads straight for the lingerie department. She plants Twilight face to face with a mannequin wearing only a brassiere. The princess' face instantly turns deep red.

‘Isn’t this something you should do on your own?’

‘Aw! Come on. We should pick out matching underwear. It would be cute.’

‘More like creepy!’

Pinkie leans down to look up at Twilight. She puts on the biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes and whimpers. The embarrassed woman groans.

‘Fine,’ Twilight mumbles.

‘Yay!’ Pinkie drags her friend deeper into the department. ‘Let’s find something cute!’

The two women enter their hotel room after a day of shopping. Pinkie drops her bags on the floor and hops on the bed. Twilight groans as she sits at a table. At least their one bed is bigger this time.

‘Mmm! This bed feels so comfy cuddly! I can’t wait to share it with my snuggle buddy tonight.’

‘Did you at least remember to get something to wear to bed?’ Twilight asks. ‘I think you are stretching the shirt I loaned you...’

‘Wait. You were serious about that?’

‘Pinkie...’

‘I’m just teasing,’ Pinkie giggles.

Twilight groans and starts digging in her backpack. ‘I think we need to make another trip to Lawson or 7/11. We’re running low on bread.’

‘Let’s go after dinner. Oh! Let’s see if we can see one from here!’

Pinkie runs to the window and presses her face to the glass. Twilight sighs and rechecks their inventory. The room lights flicker and go out.

‘What the..?’

‘Twilight... I think we’re in trouble.’

‘Probably just an electrical glitch.’

‘Uh uh. It is the whole city.’

‘Just give it a moment to come back. I highly doubt it is...’

‘I’m at the window. There are no lights anywhere. I’m scared, Twilight.’

Twilight gets up and feels her way to the window. The entire city is dark except for vehicle lights on the street.

‘I’m scared, Twilight,’ Pinkie repeats, her voice shaking. ‘What do we do?’

‘It is probably just a blown relay somewhere. Everything will be fine so... wha!’ Twilight is cut short when Pinkie grabs her friend in a hug. She sighs and pats her crying friend’s head. Pinkie’s hair has gone flat. ‘Calm down. Everything will be fine. I know! Let’s call James. He’ll cheer us up. He might know what is going on.’

‘Right... He knows everything.’

‘Don’t worry. Everything will work out...’
…

The power is back on by the time Twilight finally reaches her boyfriend. Pinkie watches the call from the safety of a blanket fort.

‘... Right. I understand. We’ll be safe. Hold on a second.’ Twilight covers her mobile and goes to Pinkie. ‘James said that he put some emergency funds in all of our credit accounts. Since we have power back, I am going to get us some snacks for the rest of the night, okay?’

Pinkie nods in agreement.

‘I’ll be right back, but I need you to do something important.’ Twilight offers her mobile and smiles. ‘Keep him company.’

Pinkie smiles and takes the mobile. Twilight sighs as she exits the room. She makes sure the electronic lock works before heading out of the building. The streets are relatively calm, though there is an increased police presence. Twilight looks around and spots what she needs. She runs from the hotel across the street to the nearby bank.

‘First time for everything...’ Twilight mumbles as she slips out her sonic.

After making sure nobody is looking, she turns to an ATM. She quickly runs the sonic over the ATM. The machine clicks. A slot opens, and a small stack of bills is ejected.

Twilight smiles and counts the money. ‘A hundred thousand yen. That should be enough.’

The ATM clicks. A slot opens, and a small stack of bills is ejected. Twilight looks around and takes the money. The ATM clicks again, and more bills are ejected. Twilight makes sure nobody is looking takes the money. The process repeats. Twilight growls as she takes even more money. The ATM ejects another stack of bills.

‘Stop it!’ the princess shouts.

A police officer looks in Twilight’s direction. The ATM shuts down. Twilight smiles at the officer and runs back to the hotel. She nervously takes a lift back to her room and quickly seals the door behind her. Pinkie squeals with laughter as she chats on Twilight’s mobile. Her hair has poofed back to normal.

‘Twilight’s back!’ Pinkie cheers.

‘Heh, heh. Hey, Pinkie.’

‘Okay, James! I’m feeling better now! Bye-bye! I love you!’ Pinkie hangs up the mobile. ‘So, do you have the snacks?’

‘Um, well, uh...’ Twilight drops the money on the table.

‘Whoa! That can get a lot of snacks!’

‘It sort of got away from me...’

‘What did?’

Twilight sets her sonic on the table.

Pinkie giggles. ‘So you were playing with your thingy, and you made a big mess in your hands?’

Twilight facepalms. ‘I hate you. … You’re getting the snacks.’

‘What do you mean “closed”?’ Twilight yells.

She and Pinkie are standing outside of a museum. The guard at the gate is giving the stubborn woman a stern glare.

‘Until we have determined that...’ the guard begins.

‘We have been given that same damn speech everywhere we tried going today. It is getting really old.’

‘It is public safety. We want to make...’

‘I am Princess Twilight Sparkle,’ the princess growls. ‘I think I earned special privilege to visit any damn museum or library I want when there is nothing to do in this whole city.’

‘Have you tried..?’

‘Yes! We have tried everywhere! We had to walk since you aren’t allowing anyone on the trains yet! My feet are killing me! I need something cold to drink! I want to sit and stare at paintings!’

‘And I want some more dango!’ Pinkie demands. ‘Make sure they are cooked right, too! And maybe some of those flaky thingies on top.’

The guard turns away and speaks into his walkie-talkie. Two more guards come from a nearby building.

‘Oh, good! They are going to really help us now.’ Pinkie grins and waves at the new arrivals.

‘Run,’ Twilight whispers.

‘What?’

‘Run!’

Twilight turns and takes off. Pinkie looks around for a moment then chases after her friend.

The two friends rest on a bench in a park. Twilight has her shoes off. Pinkie snacks on a skewer of dango. She offers one to her friend. Twilight shakes her head.

‘This sucks! If you didn’t need new clothes, we could have spent at least one day doing something.’

‘You make it sound like it is my fault,’ Pinkie snorts.

‘No. You’re right. I’m sorry. That was mean. I am just really bored and tired.’

‘Well... despite how long we have been out, we haven’t really had any Twilight and Pinkie time.’

‘What are you talking about? We have had plenty of time together?’

‘We have been together on the trains, buses and ferries, in the temples, museums and libraries, and at meals, yes, but we have never had time where it was Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie sitting and talking like best friends.’

Twilight looks at her friend. Pinkie stares back, looking a little teary-eyed.

‘We already know so much about each other, and we spend a lot of time together back home. What is there to talk about?’

Pinkie’s lip starts trembling. She looks away and stares at the ground. ‘Never mind.’

Twilight sighs and puts an arm around her friend. ‘Hey, Pinkie. How’s it going?’

‘I was having a fun day, but then I ran into a mean poopy head.’

‘Maybe she is just frustrated with how her day has been. Maybe she needs her best friend’s help to cheer up.’

‘Maybe her best friend needs help cheering up sometimes...’

‘Are you sad, Pinkie?’

‘James isn’t the only one that sometimes gets lonely when he is around people he loves...’

‘I’m sorry, Pinkie. What do you want to do to cheer up?’

‘Dango?’

‘You want to go get more or...’

Twilight is cut off when Pinkie shoves the treat into her friend’s mouth. She chokes for a moment before she gets the dango down. She growls and turns to her friend. Pinkie is smiling as she stares at the ground.

‘Good, right?’

Twilight takes a deep breath and smiles. ‘We still have ¥493,428. Let’s buy a ton of snacks from the Lawson near the hotel and have a Pinkie and Twilight night in. How does that sound?’

Pinkie’s smile shifts to an evil grin. ‘Can we play the Pocky game?’

‘How do you play?’

Twilight has a Pocky stick in her mouth. Her cheeks are bright red as Pinkie takes a bite from the other end of the stick. Her cheeks match her hair. Twilight takes another small bite. Her nose grazes Pinkie’s. Pinkie takes another bite, causing the women’s lips to almost touch. Twilight gives a small squeak.

‘Your turn,’ Pinkie whispers as she holds the Pocky in her mouth.

The princess squeaks again and finishes the stick. Pinkie sighs contentedly as they finally kiss. Twilight’s lips tremble, and she quickly backs away. She clutches her chest as she pants.

‘You lose...’ Pinkie sighs, a large smile on her face. ‘Best two out of three?’

‘I-I-I am good for now.’

Pinkie giggles. ‘You always get like this when we kiss, even though it is all in fun. It is so cute.’

‘P-Pinkie, you know I prefer men. I only do this because you ask me to.’

‘I don’t want to give you a heart attack. That’s why I don’t ask as often as I want.’

‘Pinkie, you’re...’

‘Don’t tell me you’re prejudiced,’ Pinkie groans. ‘That is exactly why Inkie and I left the farm. Well, that and we could have so much more fun and meet great people, too.’

‘No, it is just I have never seen you with anyone other than James.’

‘Well, we’re together a lot... I see you more than I see anyone else...’

‘Pinkie!’

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like this, or at all, but I love you, Twilight. I mean, I love all of our friends lot and lots and like you are family, but I love you almost as much as I love James.’

‘I don’t know what to say...’

Pinkie smiles. ‘You don’t have to say anything. Like I said, I wasn’t going to tell you. Please don't tell the others... I hope this doesn’t change anything.’

‘Of course this changes everything!’

Pinkie whimpers.

‘For one, it starts to explain a lot of your behavior towards me. It will take a little getting used to, but at least I can relax knowing what you are thinking.’

‘You mean you’re not...’

‘Pinkie, the only person other than James I would have wanted to spend a long time alone with on this trip is you. I’m... still a little weirded out, but you are the closest thing I have to a sister. I don’t know if I can say that about Cadence, and she raised me!’

Pinkie looks down and chokes back tears. ‘Thank you, Twilight. Thank you for understanding and not being mad.’

Twilight sighs and sits by her friend, giving her a big hug. ‘Besides, if I am going to share James with anyone, I rather you than Luna.’

Pinkie giggles. ‘I wouldn’t mind sharing with Luna, but I would much rather you.’

Twilight giggles. She reaches behind her and returns with a Pocky stick. ‘Best two out of three?’
…

Twilight and Pinkie lay in bed after their night of snacking and joking around together. The bed is covered in crumbs and bread wrappers. Both women moan and hold their full stomachs.

‘Twilight, remind me never to get sushi bread ever again.’

The princess groans and checks her mobile. ‘Let’s see if there is any new news.’

Pinkie’s rump shakes briefly and she falls off the bed. She climbs back on. ‘Can you give me my backpack?’

‘Clean clothes or otherwise?’

‘The one with my stuff from Kyoto in it.’

Twilight rolls over and grabs the backpack for her friend. Pinkie starts digging through it. She tosses her dirty clothes about the room.

‘I think I am going to take our clothes to the laundry...’

‘Here we go!’ Pinkie holds up a small bag. It has Kiyomizudera markings. ‘You never asked what I got.’

‘It is just a bunch of trinkets...’

‘Don’t be that way. They are magic charms for guaranteed love.’

‘Oh, geez.’

Pinkie holds one up. ‘See, this one is for me and James.’

Twilight grumbles and keeps checking her mobile.

‘This one is... uh...’ Pinkie blushes. ‘You should look yourself.’

Twilight sighs and looks over. She slowly reads the texts on the charm. ‘ピンキーパイ... Okay, that’s you and... トワイライトスパークル... Oh!’ She blushes and tries hiding behind her mobile.

Pinkie’s blush deepens. ‘I know... I wasn’t going to... but after earlier... Anyway! Here! This is the last one.’ She puts a third charm in Twilight’s hand.

Twilight starts reading the charm. ‘Okay. That is me, again, and this is...’ She gasps. ‘Pinkie, this is...’

‘I know... I just want you two to be happy. Besides, I said I would share him with you. Every other weekend after we’re married.’

‘So you’re only going to see us every other weekend?’ Twilight laughs and hands the charm back.

Pinkie shakes her head and closes her friend’s hand around the charm. ‘No, that is yours and no, you can visit us and Rei every other weekend.’

‘Right. You are only going to visit us every other weekend.’

‘No. I said...’ Pinkie turns to glare at her friend. Twilight is giggling behind her mobile. ‘Oh. You are being tricky. You know what cures that, right?’

‘Why do I feel like my life is in danger?’

‘Tickles!’

Twilight screams as her friend tackles her and starts tickling her all over.

Early the next morning. Twilight lays on her bed. She is reading a book on her mobile and texting. Pinkie bounds into the room with a Lawson bag filled with bottles of juice. She frowns seeing that her friend is still in bed.

‘You didn’t even move,’ Pinkie huffs.

Twilight’s fingers fly over her mobile. ‘Define “move”. Also, what is there to do? Nothing is open.’

‘I know one thing that is open~’ Pinkie sings.

‘Excellent. I’ll take anything.’

‘Good! Did you remember to pack a swimsuit?’
…

Pinkie proudly strides across one of the beaches in the marine park. Her bikini shows off all of her curves to all who look her way. Twilight nervously follows behind. She is worried about the stares she is getting since Pinkie convinced her to get a bikini when they were shopping earlier. She doubts any of the other princesses would be caught dressed like this. Pinkie finds a nice spot and stops.

‘How is this?’

‘It is fine, Pinkie.’

‘Great! Let’s start setting u... Snacks! I’ll be right back!’

Pinkie runs off to get treats for the two of them. Twilight groans and sets up their spot. She lays out mats for them to sit on and plants an umbrella. She sets up a small beach chair and get out her mobile so she can start reading. After a moment, a pair of guys walk up.

‘Hey, kawaii-chan. How’s it going?’

‘I have a boyfriend, and he would literally flay you if you tried anything more than just talking to me.’

‘Well, he’s not here, so I guess we’re safe. Wanna hang out?’

Twilight glares at the guys. One has short stubble and is wearing a baseball cap. Another has short silver hair. A third guy with short blue hair seems to be watching the other two with some disapproval. The annoyed princess sighs.

‘Can I take your picture first?’

‘Sure, why not?’ the guy in the cap replies.

Twilight raises her mobile and snaps a picture. Seconds later, a pair of lifeguards march up.

‘There they are,’ one of the lifeguards declares.

‘You’re coming with us, kids.’

‘Wait! What did we do?’ the silver-haired guy protests.

‘We got a tip that there were sexual predators on the beach and you match the photos sent in by a number of anonymous tipsters.’

‘We’re going to have to ask you to leave now, or we will be forced to call the police.’

‘What? We didn’t do anything!’ the capped guy panics

‘Sir, we don’t want to make a scene.’

The two guys back away a step then start running. The lifeguards chase after them. The blue-haired guy walks over.

‘Sorry about them. They’re idiots.’

He proceeds to chase after his friends. Pinkie walks up with a pair of ice cream cones. She hands one to Twilight.

‘What was that about?’

‘Oh, nothing. Just clearing the beach of some trash.’

‘Okay... Hey! Wanna know a secret? If you want to make all of the guys freak out, “accidentally” let a couple drops of ice cream land on your breasts. It drives them wild!’

Twilight has a panicked twitch at the suggestion. It causes her to accidentally shatter her ice cream cone and covers her body in ice cream.

Pinkie giggles, ‘That works, too.’

Twilight groans and wipes herself with a towel, knowing it is going to be a long day.

Twilight lands face first on the bed as soon as she gets back to the hotel. She really appreciates how much her other friends help keep Pinkie entertained since she is exhausted from trying to keep up with her for the whole day. She barely got one book read, and her formerly pure white skin is now slightly tanned. Sleep will feel really good tonight.

Pinkie stumbles into the room after her friend. She collapses next to Twilight, having run herself ragged at the beach. She fluffs her hair a bit and a small mound of sand falls to the bed.

‘Where do you want to do for dinner?’ Twilight moans.

‘In-N-Out. I am sick of Neighponese food.’

‘I don’t think they have those here. How about a family restaurant or pizza?’

‘Will you carry me?’

‘Only if you carry me. I can barely move.’

The two women lay on the bed in silence for several moments. ‘I miss James!’ they both moan at once.

‘He would give the most cuddly hug, and we’d snuggle-snuggle for the rest of the night,’ Pinkie muses.

‘He’d make us tea, and we’d watch movies for the rest of the evening.’ Twilight closes her eyes and smiles. ‘Then he’d kiss the back of the neck...’

Pinkie faces her friend. ‘Slowly work his way around...’

‘And then the sweetest kiss you will ever...’ Twilight is cut short by a peck from her friend. She sighs and pushes Pinkie back. ‘It would be easier for me to come to terms with what you told me if you didn’t try kissing me constantly.’

‘Sorry. I was caught in the moment. Besides, I was thinking of James the whole time.’

‘Thanks, Pinkie.’

Pinkie rolls over and faces the ceiling. ‘Twilight, can you use your purple unicorn princess magic to get us back to James? I really miss him.’

‘Pinkie, I was being facetious.’

‘Gesundheit.’

Twilight groans as she gets out her mobile. ‘I can check to see if there is a way to get back. I think the national high-speed rail is down, but there might be another way.’

Pinkie’s stomach growls. She giggles nervously.

Twilight cringes. ‘Yeah. That was just be...’ Her stomach growls louder than Pinkie’s. ‘Shut up.’

‘Let’s see if they have that shrimp pizza here,’ Pinkie suggests.

‘I knew you would like the weird flavors,’ Twilight sighs.

Pinkie rests her head on Twilight’s shoulder as they ride a bus northward. Twilight was able to find a complicated route that would take them back to Tokyo involving buses, local rail lines and the few active high-speed lines. The whole trip starts with a long bus trip between the islands. Pinkie has chosen the easy way out while Twilight gives herself to the joys of her Kindle app. That is until the bus comes to a jarring stop. Pinkie slips and flies head first into the seat in front of her.

‘What is going on?’ Pinkie asks, rubbing her sore head.

The driver gets on the speakers. ‘Sorry. There appears to be a mechanical malfunction with the bus. I have contacted our company and they are sending truck out to meet us. The bus should be repaired in a couple hours. Unfortunately, we will have to cut the trip short. A bus has been called and will take you back to Fukuoka. We apologize for the inconvenience.’

The passengers groan. With the air conditioning gone, several windows are opened for the breeze. Twilight is frozen in shock as her carefully laid plan comes to pieces.

Pinkie nudges Twilight. ‘Hey. Are you okay?’

‘Hours... Going back...’ Twilight’s eye starts twitching. She laughs nervously, a wider than normal grin forming.

‘Uh, oh...’

‘Excuse me!’ Twilight shouts as she stands up.

‘Miss, please...’

‘C-Can’t you make the repair? Do you even know what the problem is? Does anyone else here know how to repair a bus?’ She gets out her sonic. ‘I have a sonic screwdriver! I can fix it!’

‘Miss, please sit down. Everything will be taken care of.’

‘We have to be in Hiroshima by seven this evening to make our train.’ She waves her sonic. ‘I'm a princess with a magic wand! Let me fix this!’

‘It is okay, Twilight... We can wait.’

‘Everything will be taken care of, miss. Just sit down.’

Twilight climbs over her friend and starts grabbing their backpacks. ‘Fine! You don’t want to let me save the day, we’re leaving. I mean, we only saved the planet from Nightmare Moon, Discord and Chrysalis. We can easily fix a filpping bus!’

‘Twilight...’

‘Pinkie! We’re leaving.’ Twilight marches off the bus. She stops to glare at the driver. ‘You are lucky I am in such a good mood.’

‘I’m really sorry,’ Pinkie apologizes as she follows her friend off the bus.

Twilight’s eye twitches as she looks at the map on her mobile. ‘This way!’

Pinkie sighs and runs after her friend as she walks away.

Twilight is on the verge of screaming. If she does, it would be the third time today. She and Pinkie made it to Hiroshima Station on time, but they were refused access to the platforms and had their tickets revoked. Twilight is currently in the ticket office arguing with a representative.

‘What do you mean our tickets are invalid?’ the furious royal growls.

‘You bought the ticket as part of a package with the bus ticket. When the bus trip was canceled, your full ticket purchase was refunded.’

‘But we are here now!’ Twilight seethes. ‘We made our train on time.’

‘The ticket was nulled when we refunded your purchase. We can allow you to purchase a ticket for tomorrow’s train.’

‘We are here. The train isn’t scheduled to leave for a hour. We should be on that train.’

‘Sorry. But it is sold out. Your ticke...’

Twilight slams her hands on the counter. ‘Let us on that frakking train! Your princess demands it!’

‘Don’t make me call security.’

‘Don’t make me call forces beyond your imagination.’

Twilight and the clerk growl at each other.

‘Um, may I say something?’

The arguers look at Pinkie.

‘May we speak with the ticket manager?’

‘He is out.’

‘How about we just wait in his office?’

The clerk sighs. ‘Fine. I don’t see what good it will do...’

The clerk lets the women around the counter and shows them to an office. He leaves the women alone. Pinkie listens at the door.

‘I hope we can get some progress...’ Twilight grumbles.

‘Shhh!’ Pinkie listens a moment more. ‘Okay. Time to get ready.’

‘What?’

Pinkie smiles and winks. ‘Trust me.’

Twilight gives her friend a queer look that quickly turns to panic as Pinkie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

‘Pinkie! What are you..?’

‘Shh! You don’t want to give us away. Pull your jeans down a bit.’

‘But...’

‘That is just what we want to see.’ Pinkie says, pulling Twilight’s jeans down a few centimeters. There is a sound at the door. ‘Okay. Get ready.’

‘What are you..?’

Twilight is silenced by Pinkie locking her into a big kiss. The more aggressive woman forces Twilight onto a desk. Twilight flails her hands, but Pinkie grabs them and forces them under her skirt before reaching under Twilight’s shirt. The door opens and the ticket manager steps in.

‘What the heck?’

Pinkie breaks the kiss. ‘Excuse me! Can’t my girlfriend and I get one moment to ourselves?’

‘I’m sorry!’

The ticket manager quickly leaves the room. Pinke smirks and climbs off the stunned Twilight. She starts redressing, but leaves some blouse buttons out of order.

‘Okay. Phase one complete. Now, I need you to look shocked, confused and extremely embarrassed.’ She looks at her friend. ‘Perfect. Just like that.’

Pinkie helps Twilight off the desk. The embarrassed princess quickly fixes her clothes and hides in a corner. Pinkie sits at the desk and puts her feet up.

‘Okay. You can enter now.’

The ticket manager nervously enters the office. His nerves are further shattered by how confident Pinkie is behaving.

‘Now, what are you going to do about our tickets?’ Pinkie asks.

‘Well, um, you lost them when...’

‘Oh great! First, you say you can’t honor our tickets. Then, you interrupt a private moment between me and my girlfriend. Look how upset she is.’

The ticket manager looks at Twilight.

$$She notices him and screams, ‘Don’t look at me!’

The ticket manager instantly snaps his attention back to Pinkie.

‘And now you are saying you can’t honor our tickets. Tsk tsk.’ Pinkie leans forward to hit her fist on the table. The action is enough to jiggle a button undone.

‘Um, well, uh, you see.’

Pinkie’s glare increases.

‘How about if we put you in one of the private cars? There is room up there.’

‘It is a start... We might need a hotel room when we reach Osaka...’

‘I’ll arrange one personally! We’ll have someone waiting for you at the station with a private car.’

‘You better. Can we get our tickets now?’

‘Right away!’

‘Excellent. Come on, Twilight. Let’s find somewhere private.’

Pinkie gets up. She properly fixes her blouse before grabbing the shell-shocked woman’s arm and dragging her from the office. She turns back to glare at the ticket manager. The clerk gives the women their tickets. Pinkie gives him the stink eye, too. She marches off with Twilight meekly following behind. They get through the gate and start heading towards the platform.

‘I feel so violated...’ Twilight finally mumbles.

‘Not yet. That is why we are finding someplace private.’

Twilight freezes in place. ‘Meep.’

Pinkie turns back and bats a hand at her friend. ‘I’m kidding! Don’t go all Fluttershy on me.’

Twilight whimpers and looks away. Pinkie sighs and gives her friend a hug.

‘I am really sorry. I should have warned you first.’

‘Please don’t ever do that again. It wasn’t enjoyable.’

‘I won’t. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.’

‘Thank you, Pinkie.’ Twilight returns the hug. ‘And don’t tell James. He’ll want to join in next time.’

‘Next time?’

‘Figure of speech.’

‘Oh. I thought you were finally inviting me to page one-thirty-seven.’

‘If, and that is HUGE if...’

‘Oh, shut up, silly.’ Pinkie breaks the hug. ‘Hurry up! We get to ride in one of the private cars!’

Twilight sighs. She gets out her mobile and starts writing a text as she follows her friend to the train.

‘Sold. Out.’

Several strands of hair point every direction as Twilight glares at a new ticket agent. Her eye twitch is back in full force and her creepy grin is making a reappearance. Pinkie steps in front of her quickly deteriorating friend.

‘Is there another train we can get? We’ll take anything that gets us back to Tokyo at this point.’

The clerk types into her computer. ‘Most of the the lines are booked solid as other tourists travel from other parts of the country. The Kintetsu lines are relatively open if you want to get to Nagoya. We have some seats out of there on our line free tomorrow afternoon.’

Pinkie turns to her friend. ‘We’ll get to see another city at least.’

Twilight just stares at the ceiling and laughs to herself.

Pinkie strokes her friend’s hair as they wait for their train. The panicking princess has not slept since they arrived in Nagoya. She picks at the half-eaten bento in front of her.

‘Almost back,’ Twilight says after a mouthful of rice. She picks up a melon bread. ‘Almost back to James and Celestia and safety and not insanity.’

‘Well, maybe three of those thi-OW!’ Pinkie screams as her joke get interrupted by a bite to the leg. ‘You really need to relax more. Maybe you should try sleeping on the way back.’

Twilight grumbles and munches her bread. Pinkie resumes petting her friend as more passengers arrive for the train.
…

‘Shouldn’t be too long now,’ Pinkie assures as the train starts moving. ‘Soon we’ll be back in our beds. James will be there. Our friends will be there. We can relax. … Twilight? Are you listening? Twilight?’

‘Yes, Pinkie. Very...’ Twilight trails off as she falls asleep.

‘Twilight! Twilight! Look! The big mountain! The famous one!’

‘Wha!’

Twilight bolts upright in her seat. Her mane is bedraggled. Her horn is sore. Her feathers are ruffled. Her coat feels sticky. She rubs the sleep from her eyes then stops to look at her hooves. She takes several deep breaths and leans back in her seat.

‘Aw! You missed it again,’ Pinkie says as she settles next to her friend.

Twilight blinks a few more times as she looks at her friend. ‘Pinkie... I just had the most frakked-up dream.’

Concluded in:

Tomodachi Sketch

Author's Note

Adventures in Neighpon - Part 5

Story Timeline: Pinkie confesses to loving Twilight.

Story event: When editing the story to account for Twilight's new title and wings, this chapter ended up getting more references to 'Princess Twilight Sparkle' than every other chapter combined.

Fun fact: The Kyoto hotel the girls stayed at was based on the hotel I stayed at in Kyoto. Twilight's brilliant idea to walk up the mountain to Kiyomizudera (and the result) was also based on my own brilliant idea.
The encounter with the deer in Miyajima happened to me as well. I had just gotten off the ferry and was heading into town when the landing was instantly swarmed by deer. It was amazing!
The hotel the girls stayed at in Fukuoka was based on the hotel I stayed at in Hiroshima. It was right over a 7/11 so I was able to stock up on bread and drinks for breakfast and travelling.
Fukuoka along with all of Hokkaido are top on the areas I want to visit when I return to Japan. The top activity is going to a baseball game.

RSI and the Mystery of FLCL

Main Characters: Rucas, Stormy, Inkie, Spike
Cameos: An unnamed earth pony
Original Write Date: July 14, 2012
Episode Theme

Having used a cure spell to remove the effects of traveling, Lucas is the first member of the group to be out and exploring Neighpon. His first stop is the Animate in Akihabara with plans to hit Toranoana next. The unicorn is browsing their music selection for CDs he cannot find in Equestria. He laughs to himself as he goes through a rack of CDs. He finds several he will enjoy and levitates them to the counter. As the clerk rings up the purchase, Lucas scans the store and his jaw drops.

‘Please tell me there are Full Moon tickets available.’

The clerk looks back at an advert for a concert. ‘Full Moon? Ha! She has been sold out for weeks. It is almost impossible to get tickets for one of her shows.’

‘Aw... I love her so much. The sweet voice. The lovely purple mane. The pristine white coat and feathers.’ Lucas lets out a big sigh.

‘Sounds like she really did suck the love out of you.’

‘I prefer This Day. It is more upbeat.’

The clerk laughs. ‘Well, if you are going to be in town for a bit more, gaijin, you might be interested in this.’

The clerk taps another poster with his wing. Lucas’ jaw drops again and his eyes go wide.

‘I want to go to there.’

‘Tickets go on sell in four days. Every music store in the district is going to have them. Good luck. AKB48 still sells quickly.’

Lucas nods, pays for his music and gallops out of the store.

‘Baka gaijin,’ the clerk laughs.

The night before the ticket sell date, Lucas gathers his forces in his suite to plan the assault. He has a map with each of the major retailers circled. Spike and Inkie study the map carefully while Stormy gives it a quick glance. Rei cuddles Inkie carefully since they spent the day flying around the city.

‘Here are our targets,’ Lucas states. ‘In order to ensure we get tickets, we will each take a retailer and wait in line. We will need constant communication so we all don’t buy tickets. I will pay you back if one of you gets them instead of me. I will teleport us all in on time, but Rei, you will have to fly since my spell isn’t as strong as Twilight’s.’

‘Okay,’ Rei agrees. ‘Oh! You don’t have to get me a ticket. I’m not really a fan of theirs.’

‘Well, thanks for your help anyway, Full Moon.’

Rei gasps. ‘How did you..?’

Lucas stares blankly. ‘Oh! Sorry. You just reminded me of the singer.’ He stares at Rei some more. ‘You know. You do sort of look like her.’

‘Who are you talking about?’ Rei snorts.

Lucas levitates a CD case over. Rei looks at the case, gasps again and darts from the room. The others shrug, thinking it is her normal behaviour.

‘Thanks for inviting me,’ Spike says. ‘I’ve never been to a concert before.’

‘Really? But Boss and Twilight go to The Chaos Theater back home from time to time.’

‘Well, uh,’ -- Spike plays with his tail -- ‘they never invite me. Besides, I’m not really into that nerdy stuff.’

‘If you like going to concerts, then I’ll treat you to one when we get back,’ Stormy offers. ‘Just tell me how attached to hearing you are and I’ll book us tickets.’

‘Really? You’ll do that?’

‘Hell yeah. Any friend of Rarity’s is a friend of mine.’

‘Okay, okay. Enough chit-chat,’ Lucas interrupts. ‘We’re going to have to get plenty of rest if we are going to get there to beat the crowds.’

‘Whatever you say, Dear Leader,’ Stormy groans.

Lucas stands in line for tickets at the Animate. The other patrons ignore the fans in line as they go about their business. The foreign unicorn is wearing a headset connected to his mobile. He fiddles with an app and makes a call.

‘Ah. This should do it. Crystal Leader to Crystal Squadron, check in please.’

What the heck is “Crystal Squadron”? Spike asks.

Are you looking at your flank again? Stormy replies.

Hey. How are we all talking at once? Inkie wonders.

‘Boss gave me this app that allows for smoother conference calls that may or may not automatically force a connection.’

Ya know, it is cool when he does it since he is actually... Stormy grumbles.

‘Hey! Where’s Rei?’

Oh! She was going to go on a trip today. Something about the old capital... Inkie answers.

‘What?! That is not good! That is one less store we can cover.’

Calm down, Stormy grumbles. It is not like it is “THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!” or some such nonsense.

Yeah, how close are you? Inkie asks.

‘I’m only about five ponies back.’

A lot closer than I am, bro, Spike replies.

My line is moving pretty fast here... Inkie adds.

‘Okay, okay. First one of us to the front say... Me!’

Lucas happily trots up to the counter. The clerk laughs to himself.

‘Welcome back. Looks like you made it.’

‘Four tickets as close as you can get us please!’ Lucas beams.

Dude, you’re doing it wrong... Stormy mumbles.

The clerk sets the tickets on the counter. Lucas’ smile only grows. He pays for the tickets and heads out of the store.

‘Mission complete.’

All right!

Way to go!

About time, Stormy groans. Anyway, I found a good place for some breakfast. I’ll ping ya.

‘Wait. What do you...’

Lucas’ mobile buzzes. A map and directions load with the endpoint being a magenta dot. The unicorn snorts and trots off.

Lucas arrives outside of a family restaurant at the same time as Inkie, who is letting Spike ride her. They enter the eatery and look around. Stormy waves them to a table. The older stallion snorts as he sits down.

‘How do you have ping on your mobile?’

Stormy smirks. ‘You’re not the only one Mr Wanderer likes.’

Lucas snorts and glares at Stormy’s mobile. He notices it is the same model as his employer’s. He snorts again and levitates a menu. A waitress comes over and sets a plate in front of Stormy. She calmly waits for the others to order. After the others place their order, Lucas glares at the other stallion.

‘You didn’t even go to the store, did you?’

‘I did, but I didn’t stay long.’

‘So you left as soon as you heard how close I was?’

‘No. I left after I got this.’

Stormy levitates a laminated badge to the table. Lucas stares in shock.

‘Is that..?’

‘They were doing a raffle for backstage passes. Magic-proof containers so nopony can cheat.’ He smirks. ‘Good thing one of us has a Trixie fillyfriend.’

Inkie stares at the badge. ‘Trade you for a hyperactive one.’

Stormy puts the badge away. ‘Sorry, but I am a one mare pony.’

‘What? No! I meant...’

Stormy smiles and laughs. Inkie sighs and laughs, too.

‘Oh!’ Stormy levitates a bag of bits to Lucas. ‘For my ticket. A gentleman always repays his debts.’

‘If I let you keep it, can I have your pass?’ Lucas replies.

‘Mr Grainsborough, it would take far more than mere bits to convince me to part with something this valuable.’

‘I’ll do anything you wish. Just give me the chance to meet them.’

Stormy sets down his fork and sighs. ‘You have a lot to learn if you ever want to be the leader of The Storm Chasers.’

‘The what now? Are you talking about Crystal Squadron?’

‘I still don’t know what that is,’ Spike says. ‘Is that a breakfast cereal?’

‘That is our name. We aren’t really RSI right now.’

‘We could be, Rucas,’ Stormy asides.

The older unicorn growls at the younger.

‘Actually, I think Storm Chasers is pretty cool,’ Inkie comments. ‘It sound dangerous and it says who our leader is.’

‘But I’m the oldest...’ Lucas grumbles.

‘All in favor of temporarily renaming the group to Storm Chasers?’ Stormy asks.

Stormy, Inkie and Spike all vote in the positive.

‘All opposed?’

Lucas raises a hoof.

‘Well, I’m no accountant for the ERS, but I think I can tell which number is bigger. Storm Chasers it is.’

Inkie and Spike cheer for the result.

‘I demand a recount...’ Lucas simmers.

The group returns to their suites. The floor is eerily silent, even for the middle of the day. While the others look around the halls, Stormy heads straight to his room.

‘Hello? Anyone here?’ Spike calls.

Nopony replies.

‘They probably all left while we were out,’ Lucas comments.

Their mobiles ring, and they answer.

Or they are zombies

‘Z-z-zombies!’ Spike panics.

‘Damn it, Stormy!’ Lucas yells. ‘Get out here.’

The unicorn groans and comes out of his room.

Lucas puts a hoof to his chin and thinks. ‘Okay... We are left all alone with all of the rooms and the belongings... Everypony is out travelling, so they might send stuff back. All right, everypony. I have a plan.’

Inkie trots past Lucas. ‘Stormy, what do we do?’

Stormy stands tall. ‘We have to maintain the rooms until the others return. That means not messing with everypony’s stuff and receiving any mail for our rooms. It is probably best if we all share the same suite after cleaning up after everypony. We should also make sure to check with the front desk every time we return to the hotel. One of us should check now since we didn’t check when we came in.’

‘I guess that is me since I have no other use...’ Lucas grumbles.

The unicorn returns to the elevator and leaves.

‘What should we do to help?’ Inkie asks.

‘Spike, you can send messages directly to the princesses, right?’

‘Yep!’

‘Can you send to the others too?’

‘I... I don’t know. I have never tired.’

Stormy nods. ‘Okay. I was just wondering if you could help with receiving packages if anypony sends them.’

‘Sorry...’

‘It is all good.’ Stormy looks around. ‘Once Lucas returns, we should just take it easy for the rest of the day unless we can come up with more plans. As long as we take it easy and not wander too far, we can help everypony.’

To make up for hurting his feelings the day before, Stormy let Lucas pick where the group goes for lunch. They are back in Akihabara at a maid cafe. Lucas blushes as he smiles and takes in everything around him. Inkie blushes as she holds her head in shame. Stormy is away from the table. Spike is the only one eating. Lucas’ grin grows as the server brings him his dish.

‘Enjoy, goshujin-sama!’ the pegasus dressed as a maid says.

‘Food’s pretty good though,’ Spike comments.

‘That is not the point,’ Inkie groans. ‘This whole establishment is pure sexism! Look how everypony is dressed!’

Spike looks around and shrugs. ‘Looks okay to me. Reminds me of staying at the palace. Even Celestia wore outfits like this.’

The young mare snorts. ‘You wouldn’t be so cavalier if it were your plot all of the stallions were drooling over.’

‘Come on. Stormy isn’t behaving like Lucas is.’

‘Yes... but I don’t see how he is any better.’

Inkie looks towards the back of the cafe. Stormy has a small group of maids around him.

‘See, you are doing it all wrong. You aren’t swaying your hips enough when you go to and from the tables. And you,’ he points to one of the maids, ‘you are forgetting that face I showed you. It is more like this.’ Stormy poses and makes a simpering look. The maids swoon. ‘I want to see you get the attention you deserve.’

‘Hai, Stormy-sama!’ the maids reply.

Inkie groans and slams her head against the table.

The group trots back to the hotel after lunch. Spike rides on Inkie’s back. Lucas giggles to himself as he levitates his mobile in front of him.

‘That was pretty fun,’ Stormy comments.

‘You were correcting all of their behavior...’ Inkie growls.

‘Yes. They were doing it wrong. Thankfully, Rarity taught me the proper way for a maid to behave.’

Spike grimaces. ‘And you would want to know that why?’

‘I passed her class with a perfect score, didn’t I?’

‘At least he is not as bad as this pervert,’ Inkie snorts, jabbing Lucas.

‘What! I didn’t do anything wrong! Besides, our waitress seemed to like me.’

‘She had a name, you know,’ the young mare shoots back.

Stormy peeks at the mobile. ‘And a face, too.’

‘What!’ Inkie pushes Lucas out of the way and glares at his mobile. ‘Do you have any pictures that aren’t of their panties!’

Lucas uses his magic to scroll through the photos. ‘There! That one has a face.’

‘Where?’

‘There. In the background.’

Inkie butts heads against the stallion. ‘You are disgusting. … And Spike, that better not be what I think it is.’

The young dragon blushes and looks away. ‘Sorry.’

Stormy sighs and keeps trotting. ‘I’ll pay you two hundred bits for every maid you can name.’

‘Uh, Himiko?’ Lucas guesses.

‘Nope.’

‘Akane?’

‘Wrong.’

‘Yuk...’

‘Did you even look at the menu?’

‘Can you word that in a more disgusting way?’ Inkie growls.

Stormy looks back and scans his friend. ‘You know, I can give you some pointers if you want to give Rei something special when she returns.’

Inkie blushes and stops trotting.

‘No thanks. I think I planned a great gift for her,’ Lucas replies.

‘I was talking to the pony she actually likes,’ Stormy groans. He shrugs. ‘Though I could give you some tips to be a proper gentleman. That is why Maiko gave me her number.’

‘Maiko!’

‘Doesn’t count, but I will double the offer if you can figure out which pic is her.’

Lucas scrambles to his mobile.

‘Nope!’ Stormy says before the other unicorn can guess.

Lucas trots into the room where the others are relaxing. Inkie and Spike are playing hoofheld games while Stormy surfs Neighponese television.

‘I am in despair!’ Lucas declares.

‘I hear Aokigahara is nice this time of year,’ Stormy replies.

The nearest book Lucas can find is magically thrown at Stormy’s head.

‘It is so boring,’ Lucas complains. ‘I can’t take waiting for this concert.’

‘Really? You can’t find anything to do?’ Stormy chides. The young stallion tosses a tourist guide across the room. ‘Knock yourself out. Oh! Except tomorrow. Spike wants to see the bayside aquarium. Sounds fun.’

‘Totally!’ Spike cheers. ‘I hear they have samples of fish from all across Neighpon.’

‘Not samples, Spike,’ Inkie sighs. ‘They are examples of fish from across Neighpon. Samples sounds like they are dinner or something.’

‘Whatever. I just want to see what sharks they have.’ He goes back to his game. ‘Hey, do you think they have a kraken?’

Stormy and Inkie groan and facehoof. Lucas trots away, reading the guide.

‘Hm... A trip to the mountain does sound cool...’

‘Told you, you’d love Aokigahara,’ Stormy shoots back.

Stormy and Inkie trot from a train. Spike rides on Inkie’s back. The odd sight of a dragon riding a pony gets a lot of attention.

‘Thanks for doing this for me,’ Spike says, hugging Inkie’s neck.

‘No problem, Spike,’ Inkie replies. ‘You had a great idea. It would have been silly to ignore it.’

‘Plus, it really messes with Lucas when we don’t do what he wants,’ Stormy adds.

‘What do you have against him, anyway?’ Spike asks.

‘Well, to be honest, not that much. Back before I met Trixie, I really liked Rei. He was jealous of us spending a lot of time together. He was a total prick when we were stuck in the illusion, but I count most of that as stress. Then, he was a jerk when I started seeing Trixie afterwards, so I just mess with him to get under his skin.’

‘That’s not very nice.’

‘It gets worse,’ Inkie continues. ‘He has been giving me a stink eye since Rei and I confessed. He is just so jealous over nothing.’

‘I don’t know,’ Spike muses. ‘I get... Never mind.’

‘Spike, I know you have a crush on Rarity,’ Stormy states. ‘It isn’t that big of a secret.’

‘I didn’t...’

‘Of course, if you were to bribe me... Let’s just say I may know a few secrets of her own.’

‘Stormy, don’t extort Spike to sell out Rarity,’ Inkie groans.

The young stallion shrugs. ‘I learned from the best. Sweetie Belle stopped asking to help around the shop for a reason. Or did you think her parents really saw how bad her report card was?’

‘I thought you were tutoring her?’

Stormy grins. ‘Why do you think she has been helping more?’

‘She bribes Rarity to sign her report card, but she bribes you for good grades. What do you get from Rarity to keep the grades low?’

‘Why would I ever want somepony as dear to me as a little sister to get bad grades? That would be heartless.’

Inkie groans. ‘Yep. You are really learning a lot from her.’

The ponies trot in silence for a moment.

‘So....’ Spike begins, ‘What do you want for her secrets?’

‘Spike, don’t encourage him,’ Inkie scolds.

Stormy laughs as he leads them into the aquarium which partially extends under the bay.

Lucas drops the rest of his bento dinner in a bin as he trots onto a train. He has spent the afternoon travelling and is ready to get to his final destination. He nods towards several travellers who have been with him since Haydo. He sits in the nearest seat he can find. The other passengers find seats around the train. A pale yellow earth pony with a sky blue mane sits next to the unicorn. She looks at him with bright pink eyes and smiles. Lucas blushes bright red and smiles back. The train doors close, and the vehicle starts moving.
…

It is getting dark. The train ride is nearing the end of its journey. Lucas is sitting straight up as the young mare next to him sleeps with her head on his shoulder. He is doing everything not disturb her nap. He glances over at the young mare. She puckers her lips and whispers, ‘chu~’ in her sleep. Lucas squeaks and sits more rigidly.

Suddenly, the train lurches and the lights go out. There is a loud groan and the train jolts back down the mountain for a moment before the emergency brakes halt the movement. Lucas’ blush doubles as the mare beside him lands on top of him. The passengers look around in panic for a moment before the conductor makes his way through the car.

‘There seems to be a problem with the electrical system,’ the conductor says as he forces open one of the sets of doors. ‘The radios aren’t working either, so we are evacuating the train until we know it is safe. Please get to a safe distance from the train once you disembark.’

The conductor opens the last doors and moves to the next car. The passengers slowly disembark. Once off, they start forming up a few meters from the train. Lucas levitates his pack to himself and gets out his mobile.

‘Come on, Boss. Know something.’

Not getting a response, the unicorn sighs and sends James a text message instead. The other passengers mill about and wait for the conductor to give the all-clear. Lucas glances up from his mobile to see the yellow mare looking into the train. She puts her forelegs into the car and looks around. She hops into the car, as if looking for something.

The conductor trots to the passengers. He is talking on a portable radio. He sets the radio down and looks at the assembled ponies. ‘I just received word from our maintenance crews. It seems that the whole rail system is down. They will be sending an independently-powered tow vehicle to take the train to a safe location. Since it is only a short distance to the station, escorts will guide you there. We will help arrange your final destination once you arrive. If you need anything from the train, now is the time to get it. Otherwise, it will remain untouched until you reclaim it when the train is secure.’

The passengers grumble and go to the train to reclaim their items. Lucas sits and waits for everypony to regroup. He watches the train sway as the passengers climb on and off of it. Soon, the lights of the maintenance vehicle are seen. Most of the passengers disembark with their belongings when the vehicle arrives. The vehicle attaches to the train, revs its engines and start pulling. Lucas notices the yellow mare is not with the rest of the passengers. The maintenance vehicle gets up to full throttle, and the conductor releases the brakes to allow for towing. Unfortunately, the train is too heavy, and its inertia starts pulling the maintenance vehicle backwards.

Lucas looks around. ‘Unicorns! Help out!’

He gallops up to the train and uses his magic to help lift it, slightly reducing the load for the maintenance vehicle. Other unicorns get the idea and join in, lifting the train as much as they can. The train slowly starts moving forward. The yellow mare looks up from the car she was in. She screams in shock. Lucas notices her and motions for her jump. She cowers and shakes. The train lurches and the mare tumbles to the next car.

Lucas gallops to see her, still keeping his spell intact. ‘Come on! Jump!’

‘I-I can’t!’ the mare shouts back.

‘Don’t worry. I’ll catch you.’

‘But you’ll lose your magic.’

‘I can do two things at once. Trust me.’

The mare nods and stands. She goes to nearest door. She lines up a jump. Suddenly, the connection with the maintenance vehicle comes loose. The train violently jerks backwards, barely softened by the magic. The mare screams and falls through the train. She slides through the open cars toward the back of the train.

‘Son of a...’

Lucas gallops to keep in contact with the mare. The maintenance workers and conductor race to reattach the train. The mare nears the back of the train. Lucas charges a powerful spell on his horn.

‘Float!’

The whole train is enveloped by a white light and starts hovering a few centimeters from the ground. The maintenance workers are able to reattach the train. Lucas reaches the end of the train right as the mare does. She slides out and lands on the unicorn.

‘Told you I’d...’

Lucas passes out from overexerting his magic.

Spike hides under his bed after returning to the hotel. Power was restored before the group returned, but the young dragon is still on edge from being caught in the blackout. Stormy sits with the scared dragon. The unicorn’s horn is bandaged.

‘Don’t worry. Everything will be fine,’ the stallion assures while operating his mobile.

‘We might have had a bit of a shock, but we did do a good thing,’ Inkie says while drying her mane.

‘What if we lose power again?’ Spike worries. ‘What is something really bad is about to happen? What if...’

‘Shh!’ Stormy hisses as he holds his mobile to his ear. ‘Hi. It’s me. … I am the only one here with your number. Anyway, I have somepony here that needs to talk with you.’

Stormy levitates the mobile down to Spike.

‘Hello? Twilight!’ the dragon cheers. ‘It is good to hear your voice. I was so worried something bad happened.’

‘Go on and tell her what you did today,’ Stormy encourages.

‘Right. So, uh, we went to an aquarium today...’

The next day. Lucas moans and holds his head as he trots through a hotel. The local doctor cleared him and gave some pain medicine, but he is still woozy from casting such a powerful spell. The rail company arranged rooms for passengers who did not have one, so Lucas is constantly greeted as a hero as he tries to make his way to get some rest. He finally reaches his room and unlocks the door when he is tapped on the shoulder. He turns to see the yellow mare.

‘Thanks for saving me.’

‘No problem. What were you doing on the train to begin with?’

The mare blushes and holds up a charm with a picture of Full Moon on it. ‘I practically worship her. I couldn’t part with it.’

Lucas laughs. ‘I understand. I think she is great, too.’

‘So... I wanted to thank you for being so brave...’

‘I think you already did.’

‘No. I mean thank you.’

The mare leans in and kisses Lucas. After a moment, she breaks the kiss, leaving the young stallion more than surprised. She steps into the room, running her tail across Lucas’ nose as she passes. She looks back and winks. Lucas gives a hopeful whimper and scurries into the room.

Lucas wakes the next morning alone in his bed. He looks around for the mare, but she is nowhere to be found. He sighs and lays back into his pillow. A note on a bedside table catches his eye.

‘Thank you again for saving me. Sorry for leaving without a goodbye, but the trains are working and I need to get back to work. I really hope to see you again. XOXO’

Lucas sighs at the note. A glint catches his eye. It is the Full Moon charm. Lucas smiles and attaches it to his mobile.

Inkie stares at a life-sized alicorn plushie standing outside of Applejack’s room.

‘It is like it is staring into my soul,’ the young mare comments.

The elevator arrives, and Lucas steps off. He sees his friend and trots over.

‘Whatcha doing?’

‘I am thinking of taking up idol worship,’ Inkie replies.

‘Oh, so you noticed my new charm,’ Lucas beams, holding up his mobile.

‘I meant this thing that Applejack brought back. It is so... entrancing.’

‘Oh. Dang. Anyway! I’m taking everypony out to dinner! My treat.’

The young stallion is instantly knocked over by a pair of unicorns.

‘We know the perfect place!’ Rarity and Stormy declare.

‘Uh... Okay. Just let me get cleaned up first...’

Lucas picks himself up and slips off to his room. Rarity and Stormy laugh at the hapless unicorn’s bargain.

‘Remind me to save my leftovers as an offering...’ Inkie muses.

Stormy and Rarity have Lucas take everypony to an upscale restaurant in a high-end district. Everypony has ordered, and Lucas has just seen all of the emergency money James gave him for the blackout go away.

‘I look forward to such a fine meal,’ Rarity beams.

‘I just ordered their most expensive item,’ Stormy says. ‘I have no idea what I am getting.’

Lucas groans and hits his head against the table.

‘If this is half as good as the inn, Ah’ll be impressed.’

‘So, um, what did everypony do during the blackout?’ Inkie asks.

‘We barely noticed it,’ Rarity replies.

‘Yeah. We jus’ stayed up and telled ghost stories.’

‘I still think I should have won,’ Rarity huffs.

‘Cloudchaser’s story really happened. Ya can’ beat that.’

The white unicorn snorts. ‘What about the lot of you?’

Lucas smirks. ‘I helped move a train and saved a lovely mare.’

‘Cool!’ Spike cheers.

‘That is very noble of you,’ Inkie agrees.

‘Yeah. Totally nothing like holding back an ocean,’ Stormy groans.

‘Excuse me?’ Applejack asks.

‘Well, uh, we are at the aquarium when it happened,’ Inkie explains. ‘Somehow, there was a crack in the the sea tunnel. Spike and I helped lead the evacuation while Stormy single-hoofedly held the glass in place until the repair team arrived.’

‘My word!’ Rarity gasps. ‘Stormy and Spikey-Wikey are heroes!’

‘Great on ya,’ Applejack congratulates.

‘Meh. It was nothing The Storm Chasers couldn’t handle.’ Stormy shrugs. ‘Starting to get used to having my horn crack under pressure.’

Lucas gapes across the table at the nonchalant unicorn. ‘Well, uh, I had sex!’

Everypony at the table and the surrounding ones in earshot look over or groan at the outburst.

‘Now, I wish I hadn’t ordered,’ Inkie groans.

‘Ya coulda kept that t’ yerself.’

Stormy shakes his head. ‘A gentleman does not say such things in polite company.’

‘Just for that, I will be sure to have a fabulous dessert. Ooo! And drinks!’ Rarity waves down a waiter. ‘Garçon!’

Lucas hangs his head. ‘I lifted a whole train, too...’

The next evening. Lucas, Stormy, Inkie and Rarity cheer the concert. Lucas is covered in AKB48 gear. Stormy is streaming the concert on his mobile.

‘Thank you so much for understanding about Spike’s generous gift,’ Rarity says between songs. ‘He insisted when I said I was interested.’

‘Too bad he really wanted to see the show, too,’ Lucas grumbles, ‘but I guess somepony didn’t want to give up his pass.’

‘If that was a shot at me, I also generously gave my pass away,’ Stormy replies.

‘You what?! That was a bucking waste...’

‘Not really. Spike seemed really excited to go.’

‘Wait. He was here?’

‘You didn’t see him peeking from backstage?’ Inkie asks.

‘I was certain they were going to use him in one of the songs,’ Rarity comments.

Lucas falls back and groans, ‘Can this get any worse?’

Backstage. Spike is sitting in a dressing room. Several members of the group are with him. He is a little nervous being surrounded by all of the attractive mares.

‘So, uh, what do you want to do?’

The mares look amongst themselves, grin, make kissy faces and lean in towards the young dragon.

Concluded in:

Tomodachi Sketch

Author's Note

What is Fooly Cooly?

Adventure in Neighpon - Part 6

Story Timeline: Lucas gets lucky.

Number of Times Stormy Cracked his Horn: 4

Fun fact: This chapter was the first to start and second last to end based on how how many days it takes.

Fun Fact: Akihabara is really awesome. If you are a nerd of any sort, you will like it. And if you go to Toranoana, drop your knees and marvel at all of the doushinji. ... Also marvel at the SFW books too, but that didn't impress me as much.

Fun Fact: Train station bento make a great meal on a long train ride. I wish I could get bento here...

Sad fact: I doubt most non-J-pop fans had even heard of AKB48 until they did Sugar Rush for Wreck-It Ralph. Philistines!

Live From Budokan

Main Characters: Octavia, Lyra, Silver Fox, Daring Do, Kaeko
Cameos: Bon Bon, Reginald Skybound the Fourth
Original Write Date: July 14, 2012
Episode Theme

Bon Bon trots into the suite the Trio is staying at in Haydo. She finds all of the musicians lying around the room, doing nothing. Even her wife is just sleeping at a table.

‘We are in another country, surrounded by culture and countless wondrous sights, and I come back after a day of sightseeing to find the entire reason we are on this trip lazing about our living room!?’

‘Can you keep it down? Some of us are trying to nap,’ Lyra mumbles.

Bon Bon stomps over, grabs her wife’s ear in her teeth and drags her from the room. ‘You are taking me on a date right now!’

The earth pony slams the door. Vinyl trots out of a back room. She looks at the remaining two ponies laying about.

‘Sheesh. You two are really...’

‘Don’t say lazy,’ Octavia moans.

Silver rolls over and falls off the couch. She sits with a start. ‘Wha!’ She looks around. ‘Did somepony say something?’

Daring Do and Kaeko trot down a busy Haydo street. The adventurer is wearing her pith helmet and vest. The assassin keeps a wary eye for anypony that might show too much interest in them.

‘This place sure has changed a lot,’ Daring comments. ‘I barely recognize it from the last time I was here.’

‘Things sure can change in a short amount of time.’

‘Or in a little over double my age. Same thing really.’

‘I forget how much we really helped you. I was surprised that it was the Wanderer from my era who called upon you.’

‘There are different Wanderers?’

‘You tell me. You are the archaeologist.’

‘To be fair, I never heard of him before the first kiss. Though hearing the way the princesses speaks of him, it makes it sound as if he has been around since Luna’s imprisonment.’

‘That would be a fair assessment. A being as old as the princesses with the ability to bend time to his will. Quite a powerful friend to have.’

‘Right... Just a friend.’

The two ponies stop at street crossing. A large carriage is pulled past them and stops at a large office building. A young pegasus stallion steps out followed by larger, older pegasus. The young pegasus trots straight to the building. The older one looks around and follows.

‘Who do you think that was?’ Daring asks.

‘I do not know, but he seemed... intriguing.’

The adventurer looks at her escort and laughs. ‘You can put the wings down.’

Kaeko catches herself and blushes. ‘Gomen.’

The two pegasi continue their walk.

‘He was quite handsome,’ Daring comments.

‘I had not noticed.’

‘What is that I smell?’

‘French toast and rose petals.’

‘Oh really?’

Kaeko blushes again. ‘Stop it. I am not supposed to have such feelings for another.’

‘You give me one day alone, and I won’t tell if you make kissy time with your handsome stranger.’

‘No such deal will be made. My first duty is to protect you from revealing your identity.’

‘I totally need a new whip to go with my outfit! Then everything will look completely normal.’

Lyra adeptly handles her chopsticks as she dines with Bon Bon. The earth pony struggles without the benefit of magic. Lyra picks up part of her wife’s meal and offers it.

‘Thanks,’ Bon Bon grumbles.

‘It just takes practice. Want me to show you?’

‘Maybe later... that is, if all of you aren’t passed out around the suite.’

‘We have a big show in... time! We need all the rest we can get.’

‘Dear,’ Bon Bon groans, ‘you were the one who booked everything. How can you not know when your shows are?

‘Well, I’ve been trying to recruit a special guest for a couple of our shows. We are trying to mesh schedules.’

‘Do you at least have any idea when your “big show” will be?’

‘Largest venue? Next week for sure. Octavia’s ego boost? Some point after that.’

‘Hmm. Then that gives you plenty of time to spend with me.’

‘Which reminds me...’

Lyra levitates a pair of badges across the table.

‘Full Moon Live?’

‘She is the singer I’m trying to book. I figure we get a show and a recruit a new band member.’

Bon Bon moans. ‘At least I’ll get a show...’

‘Good news, everypony!’ Lyra declares as she returns from her date.

Octavia and Silver look up from their game of checkers. Bon Bon calmly trots past her wife.

‘Where’s Vinyl?’

Both ponies shrug.

‘Said something about hitting a club or something,’ Octavia replies.

‘Wait. She’s gone?’ Silver asks.

‘I am so glad the fate of the free world is in your hooves every other week,’ Bon Bon groans.

‘Anyway... Good news, everypony! I was able to talk Full Moon into performing with us.’

‘Really? That’s awesome!’ Silver cheers.

‘King me,’ Octavia counters.

Lyra smiles smugly. ‘And more importantly, I had a wonderful date with the most wonderful pony I could ever have the wonder of being married to.’

‘And it is a wonder how she convinced me in the first place,’ Bon Bon adds.

‘Exactly!’ Lyra puts a foreleg around her wife.

‘So we have an opening act for my big show,’ Octavia says. ‘When is it?’

‘Well, we have a couple shows booked before then, but don’t worry. It will be soon.’

Octavia groans and turns back to the game. She makes a complicated move with her new king and clears the board of Silver’s pieces.

‘Octavia, just think of it as increasing the number of venues you have played at,’ Lyra argues. ‘I mean, your mother has only played so many places...’

Octavia sighs and sets up the board again.

Daring calmly trots into Shinjuku Station. Kaeko warily trots behind her. The confident pegasus heads straight for the main counter and gets out her rail pass.

‘While it is safe to travel, I cannot determine your motive behind this move,’ the silver pegasus ponders.

‘Hmm. Interesting. Get yer pass out.’

Kaeko gets out her pass. The ticket manager gives them two tickets for the high-speed train, confusing Kaeko more. The two pegasi head to the waiting area for their train.

‘Will you at least let me in on some part of your plan?’ Kaeko asks.

‘Since you asked so nicely...’ Daring grins. ‘I may have noticed the crest on the side of that carriage. I did a bit of research and found that it belongs to a company with a regional office south of here. I’m taking you to see your coltfriend.’

Kaeko blushes and her wings stick out. ‘Th-that is unnecessary. Besides, I do not think of him that way.’

‘Wings,’ Daring says with a smirk.

Kaeko squeaks and tries covering her face with her wings. Down the platform, travelling ponies are trying to ignore a couple saying their goodbyes. Octavia naps on bench while Silver and Vinyl snack on bento.

‘Please don’t leave me,’ Lyra cries.

‘There, there,’ Bon Bon comforts. ‘I’ll be there for your big show. I just want to see more of the country.’

‘Okay... Just don’t forget me...’

Bon Bon gives her wife a kiss. ‘You are such a silly pony. We’ll meet up in a few days. I’ll give you a call when I am in town.’

‘Fine,’ Lyra pouts. ‘Wait! Before you go!’

‘Yes?’

Lyra stands on her hind legs and flips Bon Bon backwards. The unicorn holds her wife in her forelegs while standing on her hind. Bon Bon tries balancing herself on her hind legs while in this awkward position.

‘Bon Bon-chan... dai suki.’

Lyra gives her wife a big kiss. Bon Bon is shocked for a second but gives in to the moment. The kiss is made even more dramatic as the train pulls into the station. Lyra breaks the kiss and stares into her wife’s eyes. Bon Bon smiles and strokes the unicorn’s cheek with her hoof.

‘As frustrating as you can be, you are still an amazing pony.’

‘I put five thousand yen in your bag. Bring me a nice souvenir.’

The earth pony sighs. ‘You, never change.’

‘As you wish.’

‘Idiot! You’re missing the...’ Octavia is cut off as she boards the train.

Lyra returns her wife to a more natural position. They kiss one last time and split to go their different directions.

Lyra stands at the center of a stage. She lets out a large belch that echoes through a theater. Everypony stops to stare at the unicorn. Octavia hangs her head in shame.

‘Can I get one more?’ Vinyl asks. ‘I need to check your audio levels.’

‘Sure. Give me a moment,’ Lyra replies.

‘Yeah. I am out of here,’ Octavia groans. ‘I’m taking a walk.’

‘Me, too,’ Silver joins in. ‘But by walk, I mean fly.’

‘Hey! Don’t they need to sound check, too?’ Lyra complains.

‘I got most of Silver on file from your recording session,’ Vinyl replies. She grins widely at her friends. ‘And I already know all of the sounds Tavi can make.’

‘B-baka! That is just because we shared that flat for a couple of months while we were in school.’

The grin grows. ‘Right. That one-bedroom flat.’

‘Shut up! You’re giving everypony the wrong idea!’

Octavia storms out of the building. Vinyl starts laughing.

‘Anypony want to share some details?’ Silver asks.

‘Not much to know,’ Lyra replies. ‘They needed a break from their fam. Vinyl started getting better gigs, and prissy got signed with the royal orchestra. Then they got their own places.’

‘I am not prissy!’ is shouted from backstage.

‘I wonder if she still sings in the shower...’ Vinyl muses.

The unicorn ducks under a deftly thrown cello bow.

Kaeko trots through a park on her own. Daring convinced her take the day off to find her mystery stallion. After flying around the city for a while, the nervous pegasus is trying to calm her mind, not knowing her friend has been watching her the whole day. Kaeko stands near a small koi pond and sighs. Suddenly, she snaps her head up and sniffs.

‘French toast and rose petals?’

A laugh is heard. ‘Nice to see you, too, ramen and cherry blossoms.’

Kaeko spins around. A young, sky blue pegasus with a light red mane trots up. The mare’s cheeks turn bright red as he approaches.

‘So good to finally me...’

Kaeko leans up and kisses the stallion on the lips. After a second, she catches herself and backs away. ‘I’m sorry. I should not be like this.’

‘It is quite all right. You will hear no complaint from me.’

‘No, it is not just the kiss. I should not have these feelings.’

‘I know this is only the second time we have seen each other, but we are both pegasi. Our noses cannot lie, and you smell divine.’

‘Yes... I understand, but I was trained... I forced myself to become dispassionate towards most of the world but since that brief moment in Haydo...’

‘You’re right. This is moving too fast. Perhaps we can introduce ourselves over dinner tonight. I know this lovely place near the castle. Or if we start flying now, we can make it to Yokohama for the best ramen in Neighpon.’

‘Wait. Are you talking about the little shop by the bay? I haven’t been there in ages!’

‘You know it? Nopony ever wants to go there with me.’

‘Only one of my friends ever knows where I am... You were talking about the okonomiyaki shop near the castle?’

‘Uh huh.’

‘You are the most wonder...’ Kaeko stops, shakes her head and trots away. ‘No. I cannot let myself feel this way. I am sorry.’

‘Please! Miss Cherry Blossom. Just one date.’

‘... Kaeko. My name is Kaeko.’

‘Reggie.’

Kaeko turns back and smiles. ‘Reggie...’

Reggie trots over. ‘Miss Kaeko, are you sure I cannot convince you to join me for dinner?’

The confused mare looks down for a moment as she thinks. She looks up at the stallion and kisses him again. Reggie wraps a wing around Kaeko and trots off with her.

‘Awww!’ Daring coos as she watches the couple via binoculars.

The pegasus drops from the tree she was hiding in and lands with a flourish.

‘Watch it, fatty!’

Daring is pitched to the ground by the pony she landed on. The grey mare fixes her mane and adjusts her bowtie.

‘Sorry. Didn’t see you down there.’

‘Are you calling me short?’ Octavia growls.

‘If the horseshoe fits.’

Octavia raises a foreleg and punches Daring across the jaw.

‘Oh. It is on.’

Daring stands on her hind legs and swings at the cellist.
…

Silver walks into a ramen shop. She trots to a spot at the bar and sits down.

‘About time you show up,’ Octavia mumbles as she sips her soup. Her mane is messed up and she is missing half her bowtie.

‘We ordered without you. Sorry,’ Daring adds. ‘Got you a beer, though.’

‘And you are..?’ Silver asks.

Daring tips her hat, removing the perception filter.

Silver gasps. ‘Oh my Luna! You are..!’

‘We’re trying to keep it a bit quiet. Try not to tell anypony.’

Silver covers her mouth and nods.

‘So, how was your fly?’ Octavia asks, slurping up a muzzle full of noodles.
…

Daring and Silver sloppily fly back to a hotel. A drunk Octavia onto hangs Silver’s back. The pegasi land. Octavia tries standing, but she falls flat on the pavement.

‘Worshrt carriage shervice ever...’ the drunk pony mumbles from the ground.

‘Hey! Same hotel!’ Daring cheers.

‘All right!’ Silver agrees. ‘Got a mini bar?’

‘Daring! Daring! Let me use yer disguise thingy!’ Octavia calls.

Daring drops to the pavement beside Octavia, the perception filter dropping from her hoof. ‘Speaking of carriages.’

Two of the three drunks watch a carriage pull up to the hotel while Octavia fiddles with the perception filter. The pony pulling the carriage opens the door. Kaeko and Reggie step out together. They stand in front of the hotel, nuzzling.

‘I know them,’ Octavia says as she holds the perception filter in her mouth.

‘Of course, you do,’ Daring snorts. ‘She is our neighbor. You have to have seen her when you hide outside of James’ room and cl...’

‘Hey! That never... Oh Luna. Where is that hairpin?’

Silver laughs loudly. ‘You go to his place and cl...’

A cello bow is shoved under the pegasus’ neck. ‘That never happened... any of those times. Now, if you help me find that hairpin, I can tell you I meant the stallion that hussy is with.’

‘He does look a bit familiar...’ Silver notes. ‘But I’m pissed. Hell, this pony looks like Daring Do to me.’

‘That is Daring Do,’ Octavia groans. ‘No, what I was saying is that...’ She burps. ‘Oh, my stomach hurts.’

The other mares look over. They scream and jump. A blue pegasus with a yellow-brown and grey striped mane is standing next to them.

‘Do I have something on my face?’ the disguised Octavia asks.

‘Sorta... You were saying?’ Silver says to try and change the subject.

The disguised pony snorts and turns back towards the hotel. ‘Anyway, that was Reginald Skybound the Fourth. He is the new head of Skybound Industries. They are very dangerous. Even more so if SHE is helping them.’

‘Skybound...’ Daring muses. ‘Oh! He was the one James built the bomb for!’

‘HE WHAT!’ Octavia shrieks.

A long piece of bamboo strikes all three mares across the back of the head. They look to see Kaeko glaring at them.

‘If you are done ruining my date, can you tell me why you are out of your disguise and she is in it?’

‘Funny story, really...’ Daring begins.

‘You are accusing the stallion I love of what?’ Kaeko yells.

‘To be fair, his brother did try to blow up Canterlot,’ Octavia argues.

‘Yes. With a bomb developed and disarmed by the stallion you love. You keep failing to mention that part.’

‘It is inconsequential. There is nopony here that would think Mr Wanderer capable of any evil. When Lyra and Vinyl arrive, they will also agree.’

‘Reggie is a good stallion.’

‘I said that about a Skybound once. Look where it got us.’

Kaeko growls and reaches under her wing for her sword. Octavia stands and adjusts the gauntlets that have appeared on her forelegs. Daring steps between the mares.

‘Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not be too hasty. Now, let’s calm down and talk about a subject we all can enjoy, like James. I really enjoy James, don’t you?’

‘Not a good topic since you revealed that Tavi enjoys James more than we thought...’ Silver asides.

‘Oh, please,’ Daring snorts. ‘I’ve shared a bed with him. And a shower. And he has seen me in my underwear.’ She shakes the grin off her face. ‘Never mind. That is still more than the fantasies of some young filly.’

A blade appears under Daring’s throat. ‘Care to rephrase that?’ Octavia offers.

‘You’re looking a little blue.’

‘What?’ The perception filter is active again. ‘Damn it!’

Kaeko smirks. ‘I hope that the pin has a fun journey, no matter which way you force it out.’

‘Why you dirty little wh...’

‘Hey, Tavi!’ Vinyl greets as she enters the room. ‘Love the look. You can totally pull off blue pegasus.’

‘What? Vinyl? How did you know?’

‘You know I know you inside and out. All your curves.’

Octavia snorts and turns away from her friend.

Lyra trots to a table and gets out a laptop. ‘So, Skybound, eh? Let’s see what we got. Oh! Tavi, want me or Vinyl to magic the pin out of you?’

‘Gently, if at all possible.’

‘I am willing to offer the surgery for free,’ Kaeko sneers.

‘So, uh, nopony is going to freak about Daring Do standing in the middle of the room?’ Silver asks.

‘Right. Hi, Daring! Big fan!’ Lyra greets.

‘I thought ya looked familiar,’ Vinyl notices. ‘Did you really..?’

‘Yep.’

‘I mean with the griffin emperor.’

‘Oh! The duel. That too.’ Daring winks.

‘Sweet.’

The DJ and archaeologist brohoof. Lyra finishes typing and trots into a bedroom. She returns with a projector which she hooks to her laptop.

‘Ugh. Not another slideshow,’ Octavia groans. She reaches for her bow tie. ‘Has anypony seen the other half of my eye shade?’

Daring grimaces. ‘Maybe... before I tried drowning you in the pond.’

‘Which time? Before or after I hit you with the large stick?’

‘Before, since I still had the vision to aim for the neck with my bite.’

‘You two were what the police were called out for in the park!’ Kaeko shouts.

The two ponies make eye contact then look back at the angry pegasus. ‘No.’

Before Kaeko can yell again, the projector starts and an image of Reggie appears on the wall.

‘This is Reginald Skybound the Fourth,’ Lyra’s computer states.

‘This is Reginald Skybound the Fourth,’ Lyra states.

Octavia facehoofs.

‘He is the youngest son of his father, Reginald Skybound the Third,’ Lyra continues as she flips through slides. ‘He was considered the runt of the family despite sharing the family title. He was constantly picked on by his older brother and sisters. After getting a MBA from Canterlot University, he was put in charge of one of the family casinos in Las Pegasus. When he tried instituting reforms and making most of the income come from legitimate sources, he was shipped to Neighpon to lead the beginnings of Skybound East. After Archibald’s fall earlier this summer, the board voted to install Reginald as the new CEO in hopes of having a cleaner image. They assigned this pony,’ -- Lyra displays a picture of the pegasus Daring and Kaeko saw Reggie with -- ‘as his transition manager. Wingsplitter was second-in-command to the shipper Sealegs McGuffin until that mysterious shipping accident on our cruise last winter.’

Octavia laughs. ‘It was great. I was so drunk.’ She sips a cocktail she made during Lyra’s presentation.

The unicorn groans and continues. ‘After his former employer “went missing”, Wingsplitter seized control of the company. A number of other ponies went missing in that time as well... Last spring, Skybound and Wingsplitter reached a deal to merge their shipping ventures with Skybound in majority control. Given the history of both companies, I think it is safe to say that the board brought Wingslpitter in to coerce Reginald into playing ball and not institute the reforms he has promised. Any questions?’

Lyra looks around the room. Octavia is making herself another drink. Daring and Vinyl are playing hoofheld games against each other. Silver is sleeping. Kaeko is missing. A flush is heard and Kaeko trots back to the room.

‘Are you done yet?’

‘I thought you of all ponies would want to hear what I had to say,’ Lyra growls.

‘I know that my Reggie is a good pony. You just added more proof.’

Octavia turns back. ‘So when are we taking this Skybound down? Sounds like he is a real bad stallion.’

‘He is not the villain! Weren’t you listening!’

‘Blah, blah, Skybound, blah, blah, evil, blah, blah, we need more gin. I heard all I need.’

Kaeko draws her sword again. ‘I will defend his honor until my death!’

‘You might just have to do that,’ a new voice states.

The mares jump and turn to see Reggie standing on the balcony. A red dot appears on his forehead.

Octavia aims her gauntleted foreleg at the uninvited guest. ‘You better have gin or this will get ugly fast.’

Reggie examines the hoof pointed at him. ‘I saw the security footage. You are the one that removed my brother’s ability to fly. Thank you.’

‘Did he just thank me or am I really drunk?’

‘Yes to both,’ Kaeko snorts.

Octavia finishes her drink. ‘How about now?’

Reggie steps into the room. ‘I would be lying if I said I didn’t look back after we split earlier. When I saw you talking with Miss Silver Fox, I knew I had to come back.’

Lyra jabs her sleeping friend.

‘Mmm... Right there, Rei...’

Lyra jabs harder.

Silver wakes with a start. ‘Wha?! Somepony said something about taking down Skybound again?’

Reggie clears his throat. ‘In a manner of speaking, yes.’

Silver blinks as she takes in the visitor. ‘Oh, hey. I know you. I me-proofed your headquarters a couple months ago.’

‘Which is why I need you to break back in and find all of the evidence of criminal wrongdoing you can.’

The Trio ad Libitum stare at Reggie in shock.

‘His computer thingy is hooked to their main servers to supply him with the information he needs to ease his transition. He wants evidence to use against Wingsplitter and the board to clean house,’ Daring says without looking from her game.

‘How do you know that?’ Lyra asks.

‘Honey, I took down his great-grandfather while his grandfather was still in flight school. Doesn’t matter the era, somepony trying to go clean always looks the same.’

‘Thank you, Miss Do.’

‘No problem.’ She pauses and thinks. ‘Hey, given how none you are freaking that I am me, can you help me rub it in somepony’s face so I can rub something else in his face too?’

Reggie grimaces. ‘That lovely image aside, are you willing to help me gain total control of my company?’

Daring and Silver watch the outside of the Skybound building. The thief is waiting for the perfect moment to swoop in. Unfortunately, her review of building security for Reggie led to a nearly airtight defence against unwanted entry.

‘Come on...’ Silver growls. ‘Give me something to work with.’

‘If we can plug Lyra’s hacking thingy into any computer, why don’t one of us pose as a temp or something?’ Daring wonders.

‘You don’t know much about computers, do you?’

‘Kid, where I am from, computers were as big as a room and worked for hours to write a message you would get on your mobile. Give me a break for not adapting perfectly to your modern lifestyle in two weeks.’ She leans back and gets out a pair of binoculars. ‘I am still trying to figure out the quantum flux matrixes used to toast a bagel just the way I like.’

Silver sets down her binoculars. ‘I think living with Mr Wanderer is giving you an unrealistic view on the world. See, it is all about speed. The drive has to communicate with the computer. That takes a certain amount of time. Then it has to talk to the server in the building, travel the cables to the main servers, communicate with them, then make the reverse trip. All of the time up and down the line is time we can be tracked and found.’

‘Build a sonic pulse into the drive.’

‘What?’

‘Have a piece of hardware that mimics a sonic screwdriver and sends a pulse ahead of the hacking program to speed up the data transfer rates. It is all elementary quantum computing from there.’

Silver snorts and turns away. ‘Like I said, you are spoiled.’

After a few moments of silence, Daring looks over. ‘Did you stop dying your mane because of Rei?’

‘What!’

‘You moaned her name the other night during the presentation. I could tell it was dyed because of your show and the smell of your shampoo. I won’t deny she is cute, but I wish to keep my bones so I don’t even tease her about it.’

Silver sighs and focuses on the building. ‘I’d rather not talk about it.’

Daring turns away from the target and lays down to watch the sky. ‘You with the kid. Me and the yellow one with the dad. Seems like us pegasi can’t catch a break with that family.’

‘I try not to think about it.’

‘Me too... but if you ever need some comfort, my bedroom is always open.’

‘Are you hitting on me?’

‘I’m a little rusty since it has been about two weeks since my last success. How am I doing?’

‘And you expect to win Mr Wanderer with those lines?’

‘I’ll have you know that my lines won the heart of a beautiful queen, beguiled an emperor and brought peace between a zebra shaman and his unsuspecting victims.’

‘It is a wonder why I idolized you as a child.’

‘Yeah. It really is,’ Daring sighs. ‘The real me is nothing like what I had to present to the public. None of the sex or grading homework assignments or months of fruitless excavations. All of the killing was cleverly covered up.’

‘You... killed?’

‘Don’t be so surprised. What do you think Octavia and Kaeko have those blades for?’ She rolls to her stomach and spreads her wings. ‘No. I had an underwing pistol. Great for sneaking into most places. Just fake a wing injury, and nopony will ever think to check it.’

A throwing dagger embeds itself near Daring’s head. The archaeologist looks up at the thief.

‘Easily disguised as pinions. Nopony is the wiser until you get close.’ She looks away. ‘I had to convince my mom they were props for my show when she found them on her last visit.’

‘I only sent my father pictures from my excavations and made sure everything was postmarked through the university. He would have gotten himself killed trying to save me if he didn’t think my books were fiction.’

Silver comes down from her lookout and hugs Daring. A burst of static comes over their radios.

Yo! Lovebirds! Octavia shouts. We’re already down one thanks to love. Get your muzzles from between each other’s...

‘Shrimp, that’s ain’t how it always works,’ Daring counters. ‘You’d know if ya let your fillyfriend have a shot.’

She is not my!

Daring turns off her radio. She counts a few beats then turns it back on.

... and when I pull it out of your...

‘Or you can just ask the cutie next to you how it is really done,’ Daring adds.

Sorry. I’m already spoken for, Lyra replies.

‘Is this how all of your missions are?’ Daring asks. ‘If so, can I join?’

... Shut up, Octavia grumbles. We have a building to watch.

‘Yeah, looks sealed tight to me,’ Silver sighs. ‘We’re going to need some really big distraction if you want me to slip in there without getting caught.’

Suddenly, the lights of the city start going out, building by building. Soon, the entire city is dark.

Silver shrugs and pulls a mask over her head. ‘Works for me. Be right back.’

The thief spreads her wings and flies over to the dark building.

Kaeko and Reggie ride an elevator together. Reggie is taking several deep breaths.

‘It will be fine. We will get him to leave now or force him out tomorrow,’ Kaeko assures.

‘Thank you. With you at my side, it will all go smooth.’

Kaeko gives Reggie a kiss. ‘Are you ready?’

Reggie takes a big breath. ‘My body. My body is ready.’

‘That is good to hear. I’ll hold you to it later.’ Kaeko grins.

Reggie blushes. He kisses Kaeko one more time before the elevator stops. The doors open to the outside of an office. A pair of large earth pony stallions guard the door while a unicorn works at her desk. The secretary looks up.

‘May I help you?’

‘Tell Wingsplitter we’re here to talk with him,’ Reggie states.

The secretary looks at the couple. ‘You may enter, but she has to wait outside.’

Reggie looks at Kaeko. She nods.

‘It is okay. I’ll be just outside.’

Reggie sighs and goes to the door. The guards give him dirty looks as he enters. Inside the office, a large dark grey pegasus with a jet black mane works on a computer. He barely looks up as Reggie approaches.

‘And what do you want?’ Wingsplitter asks.

Reggie stands firm. ‘You are fired. You can leave now. Otherwise, you can leave with the rest of the board when I turn in evidence against you tomorrow.’

‘What the hell are you talking about?’

‘I have plenty evidence against you and a number board members to send you all to prison for a long time. I am just giving you a chance to get out now before I bring them all down.’

Wingsplitter stares at the younger pegasus and sighs. ‘We figured your stupid crusade would lead you to this path. Fortunately, you gave us the perfect counter-argument.’ He presses a button on his desk. ‘Bring her in.’

The door opens. Kaeko is brought in, wrapped in magical energies. The secretary and guards follow.

‘Let me go!’ Kaeko shouts. She looks at Reggie. ‘I’m sorry. She surprised me.’

‘Do it,’ Wingsplitter says.

The secretary forces Kaeko to the ground and spreads her wings out. The earth pony guards step over and place hooves at the joint between Kaeko’s body and wings.

‘You will drop this little crusade of yours or we will drop her, out the window.’ He stands. ‘You would be surprised how hard it is to tell the difference between wings broken when falling and by force.’

‘Don’t give in, Reggie! I am prepared to give my life for justice!’

Reggie looks from Kaeko to Wingsplitter then back. ‘But... I am not. I cannot lose you.’

‘Always a good thing to hear,’ Wingsplitter laughs. ‘Take him away. We’re going to go for a little cruise. She’ll stay here as collateral.’

The guards step back and put bindings around Reggie’s wings. They drag him out of the office. Wingsplitter goes around his desk. He trots across Kaeko as he leaves. The mare growls and struggles under the magic.
…

Daring and Silver land on the roof of the Skybound building. Silver is in her stealth suit. Octavia jumps from Daring’s back and runs on her hind legs to an access point. She is in her full armor and cloak. The door to the access point bursts outward, and Kaeko storms onto the roof. She is carrying a pack and has a gash under her left wing.

‘You’re free?’ Octavia gasps. ‘When Lyra reported Wingsplitter leaving with Reggie, we feared the worst about you.’

Kaeko looks at her rival. She pins Octavia to the wall and shoves a hoof into her ear. The pegasus digs out an earpiece. ‘Lyra, after you find his ship, hack it and set it off the predetermined course. I want where they look for his body to be a long way from where I leave it.’

Kaeko shoves the earpiece back in Octavia’s hooves, spreads her wings and flies away.

Kaeko is in her room dressing in her armor. Octavia is helping tie the breast and wing plates while Kaeko adjusts her leg guards. The pegasus grumbles to herself the whole time.

‘I never appreciated how complex your armor was until now,’ Octavia comments.

‘Thank you for your help. This usually takes twice as long to equip.’

The rivals work in silence. Octavia glances at Kaeko’s pack.

‘What’s in the bag?’

‘A gift.’

‘For who?’

‘Fish food.’

Octavia stops working. ‘Kaeko, I know you have a great dislike of me, but it is more important that he is brought to justice.’

‘You are the best in our line of work. You have no right to change our brand of justice.’

‘I know I have done a lot for our cause, but legal justice can be just as powerful and send a message to all who would wrong the world.’

‘Octavia, he has the stallion I love. He will kill the stallion I love!’

‘And that stallion’s brother tried to kill my friends, my family, Vinyl and, when he stupidly joined the fight, James. I know what it is like to have my loved ones threatened. I had James to call me back to sanity. You have Reggie. He would urge you not to act rashly.’

Kaeko turns and stares at Octavia. ‘Why are you saying these things? You must want him brought to justice as much as I do.’

Octavia places a hoof on Kaeko’s chest. ‘Right. I feel it in you, too. You have changed.’

‘Don’t tell me that our misguided feelings make us weaker. I would change how I feel about Reggie if that means I retain my instincts.’

Octavia slaps Kaeko. ‘How dare you! How dare you abandon Reggie like that! I would not trade the feelings I have toward James, Vinyl or any of my loved ones to have those instincts return. I think. No! I know I am stronger because of my love for them! If you even think about abandoning your love of Reggie again, I will make it easy for you and end you right now!’

Kaeko glares at Octavia. She calmly trots away, dons her robe and picks up her pack. She trots to the door and mumbles, ‘Thank you. I almost forgot who I was.’

Octavia trots past to her friend. ‘Anytime.’

Wingsplitter watches as Neighpon disappears from view. Once it is gone, he reenters the office on his personal ship. A bound Reggie hangs from the ceiling. The larger pegasus trots to the trapped on and takes a moment to punch him.

‘Pathetic,’ Wingsplitter mutters. ‘I would have thought a Skybound would have put up more of a fight. You should just give up your share of the company to your sisters and disappear.’

‘Just what our family’s legacy needs, more misguided ponies more concerned for lining their pockets and controlling others than for helping society.’

‘We would provide them with employment. We would have had a lot more open positions if your brother wasn’t stopped.’

‘My first fillyfriend was an unicorn. Go buck yourself.’

Wingsplitter punches Reggie again. ‘We’ll have to do something about that attitude of yours.’

Wingsplitter raises a hoof to punch again, but a blast rocks the boat.

‘What the hell?’
…

Octavia drops from Kaeko and slashes the knees of the attacking earth ponies. She raises, aims the gun on her foreleg guards and fires to scare off fleeing crewmembers.

‘Pays to have a friend with an airship,’ she laughs.

‘Just point me towards Wingsplitter,’ Kaeko growls as she hurls shuriken with each flap of her wings.

‘Probably has a room where he can watch everything.’ Octavia finds cover and activates her radio. ‘How’s the bridge coming?’
…

‘We’re working on it!’ Daring shouts into her radio. She raises her wings, revealing her hidden guns and shoots to scare away attackers.

Silver ducks around an open door and throws a series of daggers from her wings. ‘Just need to get in there to take control.’

Oi! This thing on! Vinyl says over the radio.

What are you doing here! Octavia shouts.

The harpist ain’t the only one with tech skills. Just turn on their data line and get me a bluetooth connection, and I’ll do the rest.

‘Think you can hit that?’ Daring asks.

Silver scans the room. ‘I might... if I can get clear shot.’

‘Let me rephrase that. Think you can hit that with me in front of you?’

‘What?’

‘I cover you. You throw your dagger. Wifi gets activated. Day is saved.’

‘You’ll get shot!’

Daring smirks. ‘Hey. It’s me.’

Silver looks from the door to Daring. The adventurer smiles and winks. The younger pegasus leans and kisses the older. ‘For luck.’

Daring laughs. ‘For future reference, I keep most of mine under my tail.’

Silver blushes. Daring jumps in front of the door, raises her wings and starts firing. Silver leaps over Daring, aims and throws her dagger. It embeds itself in the console. The pegasi jump back to cover.

Got it! Vinyl cheers. Uploading my hacks now!

The pegasi breathe a sigh of relief and gallop away from the bridge. Silver looks over. Daring has a big smile on her face.

‘You could have been shot, moron!’ Silver shouts.

‘But I didn’t,’ Daring laughs.

‘Jerk,’ Silver mumbles, bumping her friend a little.
…

Wingsplitter holds a knife to Reggie’s throat. It is pressing down enough to draw a little blood. Octavia stands with her back on the wall and forelegs in the air. Her hood is pulled down over her face.

‘You’re the one that took down Archibald. Well, not again today!’

Octavia does not respond. She turns her head slightly to create less of a profile. A pair of shuriken hit the wall beside her. She kicks off the wall and runs forward. She catches the falling Reggie before Wingsplitter can attack. The larger pegasus tries swinging his knife, but he is tackled from behind. Kaeko pins Wingsplitter to the ground. Each of his limbs are trapped under hers with her pressing wing-mounted blades into his wings.

‘Get him out of here,’ Kaeko growls.

Octavia nods and carries Reggie to the balcony. She raises a hoof, wraps it around a rope and get pulled up to the waiting airship.

‘What are you going to do to me?’ Wingsplitter snarls.

‘I am going to give you a gift then let you stretch your legs a bit. That is all.’

‘What the hell does that mean?’

‘First your gift.’ Kaeko swings her pack around and sets it in front of Wingsplitter.

‘What is it?’

‘Let’s just say your secretary is currently joining a new tribe... as you will be soon.’ Kaeko leans down and flips the pack open to reveal an unicorn horn.

Wingsplitter’s eyes go wide. ‘But, you were held captive.’

‘She blinked. Oh, and don’t flinch. You don’t want to permanently detach a limb.’

Kaeko jabs her wing blades down. Wingsplitter screams as they cut through bone and into the deck. Kaeko snorts and trots towards the balcony.

‘Wait! If you leave me alive, I will expose you. This will all be a waste of effort!’

‘Oh, you will be brought to justice. Just as soon as the authorities arrive.’

‘What authorities? We are kilometers from shore. Neighponese and Equestrian authorities will never reach us as long as we stay on course.’

‘They may not reach you, but you forget that the sea ponies rule the oceans. Good luck escaping them.’

‘They would have to find us first. All they know is that we’re a random ship.’

Kaeko laughs. ‘Thank DJ-Pon3 for inspiring this idea.’ She activates a program on a nearby computer. Loud dubstep starts playing. ‘Good thing sea ponies aren’t sensitive to music!’

Wingsplitter struggles to free himself as Kaeko flies off the balcony.

Daring and Silver sit on a dock. They lean over the side to talk with the sea ponies surrounding them.

‘Thanks for the help,’ Daring tells an armored sea pony. ‘I hope you treat him with all of the fairness and just.... Ah screw it. Throw the book at him. Don’t forget to give the queen my thanks. It is great seeing you again.’

Silver gasps and backs away. A large shadow looms over Daring. She slowly turns. A large female sea pony looms over the adventurer. She has shimmering blue-green hair and iridescent scales. She is giving Daring a fierce scowl.

‘When I last saw you, I was a mere princess,’ the queen snorts. ‘You then disappear for sixty long years and return when you are in need of my help. You have a lot of explaining to do.’

The pegasus nervously stares at the queen. ‘Well, you see, archaeology is an imprecise science.’

Reggie stands outside of the Skybound building. He looks beat up. There is a podium in front of him, and he is surrounded by reporters.

‘... And those are the details as I know them. To recap: I turned over evidence against several board members of criminal actions they carried out using my family’s company’s name. They are being arrested as we speak. When I confronted Wingsplitter about these charges, he assaulted me and my fillyfriend and escaped on his personal ship.’

‘And where is Wingsplitter now?’ a reporter shouts.

‘I have no idea. If he is not found, well, there have been rumors of sea ponies ruling the waters. You can ask them.’

The reporters laugh at the comment and move on with the press conference.

Bon Bon lets out an weary moan as she trots through a train station. She is worn from her trip and just wants... Is that the smell of lilies?

Bon Bon looks up after passing through a gate. Before her is a mountain of lilies of all colors. At that center, Lyra waits with a huge grin on her face.

‘Welcome back, Bon Bon!’ Lyra cheers.

Bon Bon slowly trots to the flowers and breathes deep. ‘What did you do?’

‘Do I have to have a reason to shower my wife with her favorite flowers?’

The returning mare studies the flowers for several moments, picks her favorite flower, puts it behind her ear and trots away. ‘I saw the news this morning. You can tell me your side of the story as we go to the hotel.’

Lyra’s grin grows, and she levitates all of the flowers. ‘Well, there I was, minding my own business when I was called upon to save the world once more..!’

In her dressing room, Octavia is getting ready for her concert. There is a knock on the door.

‘I am surprised you knocked,’ Octavia replies.

The door opens and Kaeko enters.

The pegasus bows. ‘I wanted to thank you once more for assisting me.’

‘You were there for me without question when Canterlot was threatened. My only regret is not believing you about Reggie sooner.’

‘We all make mistakes.’ Kaeko looks away. ‘Listen... If you are ever in Ponyville... I might have something of yours in my shop...’

Octavia accidentally tightens her bow tie too much and chokes herself. ‘I knew you took her!’

‘I had to do something! You were getting all of the top marks! I had to take the smart, rich, cute filly down a peg!’

‘The only reason I got top marks is because I had to try extra hard to beat out Fyrefly’s favoritism towards you.’

‘Geez. I was just sucking up to her because you gave her those flowers on the first day...’

‘My mom told me to... Damn it, mom.’

‘So this whole time we have been rivals because...’

Octavia shakes her head. ‘Whatever. I am glad to have found another friend I can count on.’

‘Just don’t expect me to sing.’

‘Oh, I won’t. I heard you at camp.’

‘That was a traditional song from the lands you are standing in right now!’

Octavia smirks. Kaeko growls playfully. They start laughing.
…

Kaeko exits Octavia’s dressing room. Daring steps beside her guardian after putting a cello bow back on top of a crate full of them.

‘Sounds like it went well.’

‘Indeed it did.’

‘Great!’ Daring looks around. ‘Wow. I haven’t been backstage since I got kicked out of the Grand Galloping Gala.’

Kaeko groans. ‘Let me guess, you and the pianist or whatever Philharmonica existed back then hooked up in some back closet?’

‘Nah! I got caught in Celestia’s chambers. Pretty tough climb up the walls.’

‘Will the wonders ever cease?’

Daring looks around. ‘Hey, don’t forget to keep this quiet, especially since I lost my perception filter.’

‘Of course.’

‘And remember, not a word of this to...’ Daring says as she walk into somepony, knocking them over.

James groans and picks himself up. He turns to help the other pony and sees a familiar face.

‘James!’ Daring Do exclaims. ‘Well, that explains why she has so many bows on hoof...’

‘Daring... What are you doing here?’

The pegasus nervously stares at the stallion. ‘Well, you see, archaeology is an imprecise science.’

‘You’ll see in the paper tomorrow,’ Kaeko sighs from behind her charge.

James looks at his mobile. ‘Oh, Reggie is such a cool guy. Did he show you his antique doll collection?’

‘I... did not know he collected,’ Kaeko stutters.

‘Too busy focused on the kissing, eh?’

The pegasus squeaks. She looks at Daring for a distraction. The adventurer is staring at Full Moon. The other pegasus looks back and her eyes go wide.

‘Daring?’

‘Chryssy?’

Everypony looks at the two pegasi as they stare awkwardly at each other.

Concluded in:

Tomodachi Sketch

Author's Note

Adventure in Neighpon - Part 7

Story Timeline: Daring loses her perception filter. Reggie falls for Kaeko. Daring and Silver Fox consider the other to be their second prize. Daring reunites with Chrysalis.

Fun fact: Archaeology is an imprecise science.

Tomodachi Sketch

Main Characters: Many
Cameos:Lots
Original Write Date: August 6, 2012
Episode Theme

Continued from:

Finding the Full Moon
The Boredom of Applejack and Rarity
Fluttershy the Combat Maid
F City, F Prefecture
RSI and the Mystery of FLCL
Live From Budokan

Kaeko squeaks. She looks at Daring Do for a distraction. The adventurer is staring at Full Moon. The other pegasus looks back and her eyes go wide.

‘Daring?’

‘Chryssy?’

Everypony looks at the two pegasi as they stare awkwardly at each other. Full Moon growls, exposing her fangs, and her eyes flash green for a moment.

‘You bitch! How could you do that to me then disappear!’ the idol yells.

Daring nervously grins at the singer. ‘Well, you see, archaeology is an imprecise science.’

‘You stole my heart then left me alone for sixty years! How dare you act so casual!’

‘Well, uh... You look great.’

‘Don’t think you can charm your way out of this. I was devastated when you left me. I was a heartbroken mess, and you just went off on your tomb-robbing adventurer's way!’

‘I thought about you. You were the most dear in my heart.’

‘Were? You replaced me?’ Full Moon snarls, ‘Who? I will drain the life from their body.’

‘Uh, Rei, we’re leaving,’ James interrupts.

‘But I want to see her feed,’ Rei complains.

‘I don’t!’

‘Him?’ Full Moon snorts. ‘Of course you fall for one I cannot mimic.’

Daring smirks. ‘Oh yeah. I forgot you could do that. Can you still..?’

‘Yes. Not that you will ever get to lay with your precious princess again.’

‘Aww! But I didn’t mean to run off. I had this deadline and then I got depressed.’

‘Like someone was sucking the love from you?’ Rei asks.

Daring and Full Moon snap their attention to the filly. She squeaks and hides behind her father. Daring sighs and looks back at Full Moon.

‘I’m here now. We can spend time together. Catch up.’

Full Moon looks away. ‘You said that the last time. Before you disappeared.’

‘Chryssy... It is me. Daring. You know I mean it.’

Full Moon takes a deep breath. She looks at Daring’s sincere smile, then jumps the mare. The two start making out on the spot. Full Moon’s assistant blushes then gallops away. James turns to give them some privacy, but Rei and Kaeko stand transfixed. James tries pulling Rei away, but she stands firm. Octavia trots towards the group. She spots the action on the floor and glares at James.

‘I don’t know what is going on, but I am certain that is your fault.’

Fluttershy happily trots into her hotel room with a bag of treats for breakfast. Rainbow Dash lazes on her bed. Fluttershy starts setting their breakfast on the table.

‘Guess what I heard while I was out?’ the happy pegasus asks.

‘Do I have to?’ Dash groans.

‘There is a water park nearby! We should go.’ Fluttershy blushes. ‘I sort of want to show off my new swimsuit...’

‘Waterpark? That sounds a little, you know, too exciting. Can’t we go to a nature preserve instead?’

Fluttershy locks her Stare on Rainbow Dash. ‘I want to go to the waterpark.’

Dash screams and hides behind the bed. ‘We’ll go! We’ll go! Don’t make my brain explode!’

Fluttershy smiles and goes back to setting the table.

A crowded elevator empties onto a floor in a Haydo hotel. Most elevators are not designed with a load of two alicorns, a small pegasus, an earth pony and a terrified unicorn in mind, but this one handled the load perfectly. Celestia and Luna lead the group from the confinement, getting a chance to stretch their wings. Rei flies out next to find her friends. Shining Armor hurries out to get away from The Creepy Physicist. Shining has been invited to stay in one of the spare rooms for the rest of the trip.

The guests head towards their rooms. Stormy, Inkie and Spike have kept them neat and stored any packages sent to the hotel. Outside of Applejack’s room, a life-sized alicorn plushie stands watch.

‘Hey, Cadence,’ Luna yawns as she trots to her room.

‘Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,’ Celestia greets as she follows her sister.

‘Cadence!?’ James shouts, throwing himself on Shining. ‘He’s mine now! You can’t have him ba... Oh. It is just a plushie.’ He looks below him. ‘Shall we continue this in my room?’

‘Mr Wanderer, please just show me to the spare room. I would like to get some rest.’

‘Actually, it is right next to mine. Guys bunking with guys to reduce hanky panky... until now.’

The unicorn levitates his host aside. ‘I prefer a room away from you if you don’t mind.’

‘Sure. We can rearrange some things. You can stay with Rarity and Rainbow Dash. I am sure they won’t try anything. And, Twilight can stay with me.’

Shining stares at the grinning stallion before him. ‘Which way to your room again?’

Over dinner, Rei catches up with the rest of RSI. She is cuddled against Inkie while the others relate their adventure.

‘Holding the structure together was no problem,’ Stormy states as he levitates a forkful of salad. ‘Keeping the water at bay, or in the bay, as one might say, was much more difficult.’

‘And Inkie-chan led all of the ponies to safety?’ Rei asks.

‘Spike helped, too. I can’t take all the credit.’

‘Inkie-chan and Ryu-kun are heroes!’

‘We didn’t do too much...’ Inkie squeaks.

‘Yes, it is all true. We are awesome,’ Spike brags.

‘I heard you got lucky, too,’ Rei says.

‘Well, I don’t like to brag...’ Lucas begins.

‘Meant Spike hanging out with the band. That is so cool.’

‘I know. Still awesome,’ Spike says smugly. ‘We totally hung out all night and talked about all sorts of things.’

‘I got to hang out with a band, too.’

‘Right, Boss told me about the Trio show. Sounded cool,’ Lucas says.

‘I meant when I met Full Moon... fake Full Moon.’

Lucas’ jaw drops. Inkie and Spike look impressed. Stormy continues eating his salad, unfazed.

‘Turns out she is the changeling queen or something. I showed her who the real Full Moon is.’

‘You met Full Moon,’ Lucas gapes.

‘I am Full Moon. She just gets to borrow my name, for now,’ Rei growls.

‘Well, uh, I had sex!’

Inkie stops eating. ‘Seriously. You are making me sick.’

Rei looks at the young stallion. She sighs and goes back to eating. ‘Left hoof or right hoof?’

‘What?’

‘Just trying to determine which one to never touch again.’

‘It was with a mare.’

Rei gives Lucas a disgusted look. ‘I am not touching that plushie again.’

‘Rei, quit joking around with him,’ Stormy grumbles. ‘Some of us are trying to eat.’

The filly gasps. ‘I’m not jealous at all. Why would you accuse me of such a thing?’

The others sigh and go back to their meal.

The next day, Rarity and Stormy are in one of the trendier fashion stores. The mare is studying an outfit closely. The young stallion lazily looks around the store.

‘What do you think of this?’ Rarity asks, levitating a crazy outfit.

‘You would need head damage to wear that in public,’ Stormy groans.

‘And from a fashion perspective?’

‘Wear that in Equestria and you would be lightyears ahead of the curve.’

The fashionista laughs. ‘So are you thinking what I am thinking?’

‘It would totally fail. Importing these fashions before the tastes catch up with them would be a waste of bits.’

Rarity places an oversized hat on Stormy’s head. ‘Think harder.’

The young unicorn pushes the hat to above his horn. He looks around at the various fashions on display. He glances back and forth at all of the customers trying the items for themselves. He also notes a couple fillies giggling at his new apparel. The young stallion gives them a wink and gets squeals from each in return.

Stormy sighs as he turns back to Rarity. ‘By combining Shibuya trends with the Neo-Classical style trending across Equestria, you can appeal to the current market and introduce new styles to the admittedly-stagnant Equestrian fashion scene. You’d make thousands of bits your first month.’

Rarity smiles and gives Stormy a new hat. ‘Very good. I knew you would get that. Now, I have a proposal for you.’

Stormy groans.

‘You help me design a few pieces, I give you credit on those items and we split the profits from the whole line fifty-fifty.’

‘You would give me potentially enough money to buy my own place and move out?’

‘It is a risk I am willing to take, but I think you are ready to move beyond working the counter and doing side jobs for Pinkie and the Cakes.’

‘I have one condition: I get one of the first items for free.’

‘Well, of course you would...’

‘Not for me. For Trixie.’

‘I... I am not sure she is right to help launch a new line.’

Stormy shakes his head. ‘I don’t care. She may not get the immediate press reaction we want, but I love her and I want to make her something special.’

Rarity smiles and extends a hoof. ‘I think I can shake on that.’

The young stallion pushes the hoof aside and hugs Rarity. ‘We’re family. We hug.’

The older unicorn laughs and returns the hug.

Celestia is finishing her advising with the Neighponese government. She and the prime minister are being shown through a warehouse. The engineer leading them stops in front of a table covered in a sheet.

‘I hope this won’t take long,’ Celestia comments. ‘I wish to get back to my holiday.’

‘N-not long, Princess,’ the engineer replies. ‘We just need your advice on one last thing.’ He removes the sheet to reveal a head from a Cyberpony. ‘We found this and similar cybernetic components at the destroyed relay station. I’ve never even seen technology like this before. It is so advanced.’

‘Is that all?’ Celestia asks.

The prime minister turns to the princess. ‘How can you be so calm?! This is proof of aliens! This is a...’

The princess holds up a hoof. ‘You say that like this is the first time.’ She raises her mobile. ‘Captain Harness? ... Not now, Jack. ... I’m here in Neighpon with something for you to procure. … Excellent. I can get back to my holiday now.’ She hangs up. She clears her throat. ‘ATTENTION!’ the princess’ Royal Canterlot Voice booms. ‘THIS INVESTIGATION IS NOW IN THE HOOVES OF TROTSWOOD. IF ANYPONY HERE VALUES THEIR CONTINUED EXISTENCE, YOU WILL FORGET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DISCOVERED BEFORE THEY ARRIVE! THANK YOU!’

The princess coughs from the strain on her vocal cords and turns away. The prime minister gallops after her.

‘Trotswood?! Is that necessary? My country needs to hear about this amazing discovery!’

Celestia stares down at the earth pony before her. ‘Do you want to know how easy it is to find new prime ministers?’ She gets a head shake in return. ‘Then forget what you saw lest your next memory is how much you love serving random ponies takoyaki. Understood?’ She gets a nod. ‘Good. Now, I believe there is an onsen with my name on it.’

Kaeko packs her belongings in her hotel room. There is a knock on the open door. Daring and Rei look in.

‘You wanted to see us?’ Daring asks.

‘Neesama?’

Kaeko stops and smiles at the guests. ‘Thank you for coming. I was hoping to see you before I left.’

Rei starts tearing up. ‘Neesama ga shinde iru?’

The older pegasus groans and shakes her head. ‘No. I am going to be living with Reggie and helping him with his company.’

The filly gasps, ‘But what about your shop back home?’

‘That is what I wanted to talk to you about.’ Kaeko smiles. ‘Daring, how much money do you have on you?’

‘Uh...’

‘Rei?’

The filly darts out and returns in an instant with a money pouch with ‘Lucas’ written on it. ‘How much do you need?’

‘Just a couple bits. I’m selling you the store.’

‘Oh! I get it!’ Daring realizes. ‘Wait. No, I don’t.’

Kaeko sighs. ‘I still want my former store to operate, and I can think of no better ponies to run it that you two. Rei has the knowledge and customer skills from all the times she, uh, volunteered to help out. And I think you, Daring, would make a great manager until she is old enough to take over. You might have to hire somepony to work the day shift until she is done with school.’

‘Manager? Really?’

‘It is quite simple. I set up most of my operations to be automatic. You just have to keep track of inventory, and Rei will advise you on what new products to stock.’

Rei giggles. ‘So much joso...’

Kaeko groans. ‘Anyway... All you would have to do is make sure everything is running properly, leaving you plenty of time to, oh, travel the world and have adventures and...’

‘Pay off daddy for losing the disguise thingy.’

Daring snorts at the filly then turns to Kaeko. ‘Time to explore the world again?’

‘Not to mention, you will live right across from Mr Wanderer...’

‘Hmm. Sounds like we might have a deal.’

Rei hugs Kaeko. ‘I’ll miss you, neesama.’

Kaeko returns the hug and looks at Daring. ‘Where did you lose the perception filter anyway?’

‘I have no idea.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lyra reads a book in bed. Suddenly, a blue pegasus with a yellow-brown and grey striped mane jumps on top of her and gives her a big kiss.

‘Hey, sexy. Come here often? Better yet, do you want to?’ the disguised Bon Bon asks.

‘Meep.’

Bon Bon kisses down Lyra’s horn to her lips. ‘What? You were the one who said we should try something new sometime. I thought you got this for me.’

Lyra laughs and leans up to kiss her wife. ‘Best. Wife. Ever.’

The unicorn levitates a blanket over the two of them.

Rainbow Dash stretches as she trots out of her room. She and Fluttershy flew in late and went straight to bed, but the athletic pegasus is up early since she has plans with Applejack later in the day. A constant snore comes from Twilight’s nearby bedroom. Rainbow Dash flexes her wings and trots out to find Applejack.

‘Who’s ready for some baseball?’ the pegasus calls down the halls.

Daring comes out of her suite and trots past. ‘Oh. Hey, squirt.’

Rainbow Dash opens her mouth to reply, but she freezes with her hoof extended. Applejack yawns as she exits her suite. She trots up to her friend. A hoof is waved in front of the pegasus’ face. The farmer sighs and closes Rainbow Dash’s jaw for her.

‘Anypony else free fer a game later?’

An exceptionally loud snore comes from Twilight’s room.

Later. Applejack cheers for a play then sits back in her seat. She smiles as she watches the game on the field.

‘Thanks fer comin’. Ah was worried that everypony was busy. Ah didn’ think y’all would come, ‘specially since Twi is stuck in bed.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight lays on her stomach as she sleeps in her bed. She snores into her drool-soaked pillow. A half-asleep Pinkie looks over at her friend before falling back and slumbering next to the sleeping princess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘You kidding? I love baseball!’ James cheers.

Applejack looks at her friend and blushes. ‘Ah ‘preciate it. Yer a great pal.’

The mare leans over and rests her head on James’ shoulder.

‘Don’t you have a date with Sunshine when we get back?’ the stallion asks.

‘Jus’ ‘cause Ah’ll be seein’ another stallion soon, doesn’ give ya the right t’ be jealous.’

‘I’m not jealous. I’m just...’

‘Hush. This is mah fantasy, uh... (what’s the word?)’

‘Baka,’ James whispers. ‘It is not like you like me or anything.’

Applejack’s blush deepens. ‘B-baka. It ain’t like Ah like ya or nothin’.’

The ponies laugh and go back to watching the game.

Pinkie struggles to get out of bed, but the sleeping Twilight has her forelegs and wings wrapped around her friend.

‘Little help?’ Pinkie calls towards the hallway.

In the hall, Rainbow Dash is still frozen in shock. Rei is studying the other pegasus. She bends Rainbow’s right foreleg, and the mare keeps it bent. Rei giggles. Inkie trots up. She sees Rei’s handiwork and unfurls Rainbow’s left wing. The two young mares giggle. Fluttershy trots over and sees what is going on.

‘Oh! I have the perfect thing!’ Fluttershy gallops to her room and returns with a Shibuya-style hat and dress. ‘Help me with her.’

The young mares giggle and help Fluttershy dress her friend in the outfit.

In her dressing room, Octavia gets ready for her concert. There is a knock on the door.

‘I am surprised you knocked,’ Octavia replies.

The door opens, and a burgundy mare with a long dark grey mane enters. Octavia turns and smiles. Melodia returns the smile, trots across the room and gives her daughter a hug.

‘I am so proud of you,’ the mother coos.

‘I think you misspoke “jealous”,’ Octavia laughs.

Melodia tightens the hug. ‘So very proud.’

Octavia starts choking. The older mare eventually lets go and steps back.

‘So, this is your big show.’

‘Yep. The one venue you never got,’ Octavia replies, catching her breath.

Melodia smiles and nods. ‘I am also proud of the other thing, too.’

‘He had to face justice for his crimes. If the sea ponies don’t make him fish food, he will rot until he is.’

‘I meant making peace with your friend. Very noble of you.’

‘Of course I made peace with her. She promised to return my doll.’

‘Heartstrings told me what you said to her. I am very proud of that.’

Octavia blushes. ‘I meant it.’

‘I know you did.’ Melodia kisses her daughter on the forehead. ‘Speaking of Heartstrings, her parents were quite surprised to learn somepony took their airship without asking permission. They are giving her a little talk about it right now.’

Octavia laughs. ‘Serves her right.’

‘I knew we could get her eventually.’

‘So, when you heard they were coming here to chew out their daughter, you tagged along?’

‘Actually, we all came to see your show. Miss Bon Bon told us about it. I cannot wait for your solo.’

The younger mare looks down and blushes. Melodia laughs and trots to the door.

‘Oh! By the way, I win.’

‘Win what?’

Melodia smirks. ‘Arctic is the one holding our seats.’

‘You mean..!’

‘Yep. I got her to take a day off.’
…

Silver Fox brushes dye into her mane and coat as she gets ready for her show. There is a knock on the door.

‘I’m indecent right now. Come back later,’ the performer calls.

‘I think you look pretty decent from where I stand,’ Daring Do replies from the doorway.

The younger pegasus gasps as the older one closes the door and trots across the room.

‘I got the ticket you sent me. Thanks.’

Silver blushes. ‘I... I wanted to see you before we moved on.’

‘I appreciate it. I was hoping to talk with you, too.’

‘What about?’ the younger pegasus asks, kicking at the ground a little.

‘I think you know. I won't mind seeing more of you. Might even make James jealous.’

Silver blushes and bites her lip. She looks up defiantly. ‘Don’t think I am settling. I am just biding my time until Rei comes around. It is not like I have had a crush on you since I first saw your picture on the cover of Sapphire Stone in the library as a foal.’

‘And when watching your show, some of the positions you put yourself in didn’t give me ideas.’

Silver blush deepens, and she looks down again. ‘Don’t say it like that.’

Daring laughs. ‘You know what is scientifically proven to relieve stress...’

‘Not now... I have a show soon, and we haven’t even had a first date...’

Daring laughs again. She trots over and gives Silver a kiss on the cheek. ‘You can always tell the ones who grew up poor. We like to be romanced.’

‘We?’

The archaeologist adjusts her pith helmet as she goes to the door. ‘Something else they made me cut out of the book.’

Daring exits the dressing room and trots away. She passes a blue-white pegasus mare. The mare looks back.

‘Wait a moment. Are you..?’ Arctic Fox asks.

Daring turns and winks. ‘Where do you want me to sign? I warn you, I sign with a kiss.’

Arctic blushes and hides behind a wing. ‘I-I am married! I am only here to see my daughter.’

‘So was I.’ Daring laughs to herself as she trots away. Still got it.

Twilight flops around on her bed. She sits up and sees it is dark out. She moans and drags herself out of the room and to the hallway, passing a still-frozen and quite fashionable Rainbow Dash. She stops outside of another suite and knocks.

‘James... I was having a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?’

‘NO!’ Shining shouts from his room.

Selene trots down a crowded street. She is following a map on her mobile. She grumbles to herself as she trots.

‘This Otome Road better be worth it or James and Rei are getting an earful (of Royal Canterlot voice) when’ -- she turns her head and mobile as she examines the map -- ‘and if I get back.’

The pegasus reaches the end of the route given to her. She puts the mobile away, looks around and her eyes go wide with excitement.

‘Oh sweet merciful me. This is heaven.’

The disguised princess squeals and gallops to the nearest store.

Rei leads the rest of the RSI towards a shrine. She giggles to herself every few seconds.

‘What is this place you have insisted on bringing us?’ Stormy asks.

‘Tagata Jinga,’ the young mare giggles.

‘What is so special about it?’ Inkie queries.

Rei squeals. ‘You’ll see. I’ve been wanting to come here for years.’ She stops by the entrance. ‘Now close your eyes. I want it to be a surprise.’

The others groan and comply. Rei spread her wings. The others bite a pinion and are lead inside.

‘Okay. Open ‘em.’ Rei giggles inside the shrine.

Inkie screams and gallops out of the shrine, blushing bright red. Rei flies after her friend, blushing and giggling. Stormy calmly trots out.

‘I’ve seen bigger,’ the young stallion comments as he follows his friends.

Fluttershy trots through an underwater tunnel. All around her, fish of all sorts swim freely in the large aquarium. She marvels at all of the species she sees. Some overstressed components of the tunnel structure raise alarms in her head, but her freaky knowledge of structural engineering tells her she has nothing to worry about unless there is a major strain placed on any of the systems strung through the structure. The animal lover stops to admire a giant ocean sunfish.

‘You were right, Spike. This is a great place to visit.’ Getting no reply, she looks around. ‘Spike?’

Fluttershy turns to look for the dragon, just as Spike swims past, chomping at the nearest fish. The pegasus shrugs and continues enjoying her trip.

Inkie trots back to the group’s temporary hotel room. She needed a walk to help clear her head of what she saw that afternoon. The incident only reminded her why she went into geology instead of anatomy. She sighs as she enters the room. Rei is laying on their bed watching television upside down. Stormy is working at his computer.

‘What are you doing?’ Inkie asks as she trots over.

‘Just sending Trixie and email,’ the young stallion replies.

‘What about?’

‘Just some recent events. Wanna see?’

Inkie peeks at the screen and pales. Rei giggles.

Stormy looks up. ‘Rei thinks I should send some comparison shots of myself. What do you think?’

Inkie calmly backs out of the room.

‘I am more than willing to help with the pictures,’ Rei giggles.

‘I know you are, Rei. I know you are,’ Stormy groans.

Back at the Haydo hotel, James sticks his head out of the stallion’s bathhouse and looks around, but he is missing his glasses. He checks the hall again and steps out.

‘Okay. It is clear.’

Twilight steps out a moment later while drying her mane. She is wearing James’ glasses, and her cheeks are bright red. ‘That was so crazy. I can’t believe we did that.’

The stallion looks back. ‘I’d hate to be the pony to clean that up.’

The couple starts trotting back to their suites.

‘Are you sure nopony saw us? I would hate to get caught doing that in public.’

James gives Twilight a comforting nuzzle. ‘I am certain we were in the clear. Trust me.’

Twilight sighs, kisses her coltfriend. They continue to their suites. A few moments later, the door to the bathhouse opens again. An extremely shocked Shining Armor trots out.

‘Twily?’ he whimpers. ‘My LSBFF and him? Like that?’

The stallion whimpers again and slowly makes his way back to his room.

Rarity and Spike stroll up a sunny mountainside together. A light glow surrounds the unicorn’s horn.

‘Such a lovely day,’ Rarity comments.

‘Every day is lovely with you, Rarity,’ Spike sighs.

‘Oh, Spike. You’re a little charmer,’ the mare laughs. She looks down the trail they are on. ‘Is it much further to where we are going? I am not detecting anything.’

‘Uh, Stormy said that the old mines were up here somewhere. He gave me a map, but I don’t understand it.’

Spike gets out a small scroll. Rarity levitates it in front of her.

‘It is very nice of him to help us out like this. How did you ever convince him?’

‘Well, uh, it was his idea,’ Spike replies sheepishly. ‘He just said it would be a good outing for us.’

‘He is absolutely correct. I haven’t gotten much time with my Spikey-Wikey this trip.’

Spike looks down and blushes. Rarity’s magic flares up, and she is dragged away.

‘WAHAHA! Looks like we got a big one,’ Rarity calls as she is dragged around a bend.

‘Coming!’ Spike shouts after her as he tries to keep up.

On a quiet hilltop, Luna and Cloudchaser watch the moonrise. Cloudchaser leans against her fillyfriend, Luna puts a wing around the smaller pony.

‘Such a lovely moon,’ Cloudchaser comments.

‘Indeed it is,’ Luna replies.

‘Actually, I got it wrong. I meant, such a lovely Luna.’

Luna looks down at Cloudchaser. They lean towards each other and kiss.

On an empty rooftop, Rei and Inkie are watching the moonrise as well. Rei leans against the taller pony. Inkie giggles and looks at her fillyfriend.

‘What a beautiful Full Moon.’

‘It sure is,’ Rei sighs.

‘I was talking about the one next to me.’

The young mares laugh at the comment. Suddenly, Rei squeals and tackles Inkie in a big kiss.

Full Moon scowls at the full moon from her hotel balcony. Chrysalis drops her disguise and leans over the railing.

‘Stupid Daring. Falling for another pony. I will never find a special somepony... I should have just married that disgusting stallion... At least he liked me when I was disguised...’

The changeling sits, hanging her forelegs on the railing. A couple tears splash below her. There is a knock on the door. Chrysalis stands and regains her composure.

‘Enter.’

One of her bodyguards enters with a package. ‘This just arrived for you.’

‘Thank you. You can take the rest of the night off.’

The guard bows. ‘Thank you, my queen, but I will stay by your side.’

The guard trots out and closes the door behind him. Chrysalis opens the package. Inside is a cake covered in frosting and strawberries with a letter sitting on top.

‘To Fake Full Moon.’

Chrysalis rolls her eyes.

‘I know how sad and lonely being a lone Full Moon in Neighpon can be. Some days you just want to stay in bed and cry all day. … I guess I understand where your desire to eat love comes from.’

Chrysalis groans.

‘Anyway, I wanted you to feel less lonely so here is a present to cheer you up! It is my favorite flavor since I figure we Full Moons think alike. And don’t think daddy made me send this! I did this on my own. Hang in there. Full Moon.’

Chrysalis sets down the letter. She levitates and devours a slice of cake with a large strawberry on top and grins.

‘I just may have to send her something as thanks,’ Chrysalis laughs, as she eats another berry.

Lucas is sitting around his suite. He is scrolling through pictures on his laptop. His horn has a faint glow as he enjoys his collection. A shadow looms over him. He screams and tries covering his monitor from Princess Celestia. The princess glares down at the unicorn.

‘This isn’t what it looks like!’ Lucas defends.

‘It appears you had a number of photos of young mares in maid uniforms, or should I say a number of pictures of the flanks of young mares in maid uniforms.’

‘I can explain! There is this cafe...’

Celestia leans in close and grins. ‘Take me there.’

Shining Armor trots around the suite he is staying in with the others. He is not feeling comfortable sightseeing without Cadence or Twilight, but he also does not want to travel with Twilight since James would be around too. He eventually finds a book that was left out and starts reading. As he settles in a chair, there is a knock on the door. Shining looks up to see Daring standing in the doorway.

‘So, all alone, eh?’ the pegasus notes.

‘It seems that way, Miss Do,’ the stallion replies.

‘I guess with James out of town, there is a hole in the room.’ Daring sashays to the stallion. ‘Maybe we should fill that hole.’

‘I-I am married!’

‘Point being?’

Shining looks for an escape but finds none. He cast his bubble shield around himself and gallops away. ‘All of you ponies are crazy!’ he shouts back.

Lucas is back in his room after his outing with the princess. He giggles as he goes through the new photos he took. Stormy returns to their suite right as a content-looking Celestia trot past. She has a blue and white striped cloth hanging from her horn.

‘Ah! I see you met Ayame,’ Stormy comments.

‘Ayame!’ Lucas turns and shouts back.

‘Doesn’t count.’

James moans as he tries to roll over in bed. He turns his head and looks out the window at a beautiful Hokcowdo vista. The moonlight coming into the room is enough to illuminate what is impeding his movement. Twilight and Pinkie are cuddled up on both his sides. The stallion smiles, hugs them both extra tight and goes back to sleep.

…

Several days later, all of the travellers are on the airship heading back to Equestria. All but one are sleeping during the night portion of the trip. James has his laptop out and is doing some work. Twilight is curled up on one seat next to him while the other is empty. There is a yawn and Amy trots over and sits by the working stallion.

‘What are you working on?’ the unicorn asks.

‘Just catching up on the latest science news. The guy may claim to be an expert in the field and have been published in Science, but he can’t be more wrong about the Higgs Field.’

‘You are an odd one to the end, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Did you have a nice trip?’ James asks.

‘Indeed. It was the most exciting trip I have ever had. We must do it again. Just the two of us.’

‘Only if we have separate beds at opposite ends of the hotel.’

Amy pouts. ‘You’re no fun.’ She sighs and looks over the stallion’s shoulder. ‘I’ll have you know I kept my end of our bargain, too.’

‘Like you knew that Reggie was in trouble and needed to be saved. That was pure luck.’

‘Did you ever take him to that delightful noodle shop or that amazing okonomiyaki bar when you lived here?’

The Wandering Physicist looks up. ‘Random chance. No better odds of that than an electron’s wave packet hopping a shallow enough potential gap, allowing imaging of the most minute objects.’

Amy smiles. ‘Right. Because that doesn’t happen.’ She yawns again. ‘Can you be truthful to me again?’

‘When am I not?’

‘I plead the fifth. Anyway, how did you actually pay for all of this? There is no way you could afford it. I control the ERS. I know your finances.’

James leans back and smirks. ‘You know how Archibald Skybound, Sealegs McGuffin, Wingsplitter, and Alphonse and Maxie Lunamoon all transferred their entire fortunes to untouchable bank accounts around the world?’

‘Yes.’

‘So do I.’

‘Are you saying that you stole their money? That is a major criminal offense.’

‘You didn’t seem to mind when an anonymous donor matched your offer to the Canterlot Children’s Hospital.’

‘Just because you use your illegal fund for good once and a while...’

‘Celestia, this is me. Would you really I would do something horrible with the money?’

‘Well, there is one way you can have my silence,’ Amy counters with a grin.

‘I am not going to kiss you again, even if that will benefit the world by shutting you up.’

‘Hmpf! You might have gotten something out of it yourself.’

‘She is right next to us. You cannot win this.’

‘I think we both...’

‘Will you both shut up?’ Twilight groans. ‘Some of us are trying to sleep.’

James and Amy look at the resting mare. They hang their heads.

‘Sorry, Twilight,’ the say in unison.

Amy stretches. ‘I think my valued student is correct. Goodnight, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Sleep well, Celi.’

Amy settles into her seat and falls asleep. James closes his laptop. He looks around the cabin at all of his friends sleeping and smiles. He curls up on the seat so his muzzle is near Twilight’s.

‘Hey, Twilight.’

‘What?’ the mare groans.

Neither of them notice Shining Armor trot into the cabin on his way to the washroom. The stallion stops when he notices the couple awake.

‘I know this doesn’t mean I am cured or anything, but I haven’t felt lonely since the train station in Ponyville.’

Twilight looks up. ‘That is wonderful. That has to be your longest time since you moved to Ponyville.’

James nods. ‘Yeah... It feels really good. Thank you for being there for me.’

‘You know I will always be here for you. No matter what. I love you.’

‘I love you, too.’

The couple kiss and settle back down to sleep. Shining smiles and tries trotting across the cabin as quietly as possible.

‘Sexy,’ James mumbles.

Shining freezes and really hopes that the other stallion was talking to his younger sister.

Author's Note

Adventure in Neighpon - Part 8 - Finale

TWP Timeline: His depression has virtually disappeared. Twilight finds out about his and Celestia's friendship. Technically, TWP and Shining sleep together.

Story Timeline: Daring and Chrysalis 'reconnect'. Rei befriends Chrysalis.

Fun fact: If you didn't get all of the anime and Japanese culture references in the story arc, Google and Wikipedia are a good place to start.

Anyway You Slice It

Main Characters: Twilight, Lyra, Bon Bon
Cameos: TWP, Spike, Carrot Top, Berryshine Punch, Derpy, Rainbow Dash
Original Start Date: August 7, 2012

‘That is the stupidest, most pig-headed thing you have ever said!’ Bon Bon shouts.

‘That is how it has always been! You are stupid and wrong!’ Lyra shouts back.

The couple butts heads and growls. Both are furious with the other.

‘That is not something I am having in my house,’ Bon Bon snarls.

‘Fine! Then I will take it where it is appreciated!’

Lyra storms to her study and starts packing a few belongings, including her laptop and lyre. Bon Bon glares as her wife goes to the front door.

‘I can’t believe you would ask me to do such a thing,’ the confectioner snorts.

‘Maybe if you were more open-minded you might just enjoy it,’ Lyra retorts.

The unicorn stomps out of the house and magically slams the door behind her.

A loud pounding fills Golden Oaks Library. Twilight grumbles as she drags herself downstairs to answer the door. She is surprised to see who is standing on the other side.

Lyra grabs Twilight in a big hug and sobs, ‘The stupid wife kicked me out. I need a place to stay.’

Twilight tries forcing herself free. ‘Can’t you bug somepony else?’

‘It has to be you! You are the one only one who understands me. We have a sacred bond that cannot be broken.’

‘Ugh. Fine. You can stay in the guest room for now. But you can’t stay for too long, okay?’

Lyra squeezes Twilight extra tight. ‘Thank you! I knew you would understand! You are the best friend I ever had!’

‘We’re friends?’ Twilight groans.

Twilight reluctantly heads for breakfast. She needs a large cup of coffee. When she reaches the kitchen, her attempts to convince herself that last night was a nightmare are shot. Lyra and Spike sit at the kitchen table eating a large breakfast. A third place has been set, but Lyra is levitating items from that plate to hers. The diners look up at the new arrival.

‘Morning, Twilight!’ Spike greets.

‘Hey, roomie!’ Lyra says, spraying particles over the remains of Twilight’s breakfast.

The young princess just sighs and goes to the coffee pot. She tries pouring a cup but nothing comes out.

‘Sorry,’ Lyra apologizes. ‘Big test today. I need all of the energy I can get to keep up with the kids.’

‘You could have saved me ONE cup.’

‘Don’t worry, Twilight,’ Spike assures. ‘I started another pot. It should be ready in a few minutes.’

Twilight sits and calculates how much her schedule has been delayed by lack of coffee, which is also impairing her maths skill. She looks at the now-empty plate before her then up at the unicorn finishing the last piece of toast.

‘This is so much better than when that moron makes it,’ Lyra moans. ‘Spike, you’re hired.’

‘Ah, it is nothing special.’

‘A well-made breakfast is key to getting a great start to the day. Now, I know how Twilight can be so amazing. She has a great dragon supporting her.’

‘Ah, go on.’

‘Oh! I would love to, but I have to rush.’ Lyra gets up. She gives Spike a kiss on the cheek. ‘Thanks for making me lunch, too. Glad to see Twilight trained you so well. Catch ya later!’

The teacher gallops out of the library before she is late for class. Twilight snorts as her guest leaves. She looks down at her empty plate and growls. Hopefully Lyra will be leaving soon.

Bon Bon sets a box of candies in front of a customer. The stallion thanks her, lifts the box under a wing and trots out of the store. The mare turns to look around her store. One other pony is there. Carrot Top is having a hard time picking her treat.

‘I know I always say this, but it all looks so good,’ the gardener comments.

‘Take as much time as you need. I have plenty of treats in stock.’

‘I noticed. You have a lot more than you usually have.’

‘Well, I didn’t have some idiot interrupting me and trying to steal tastes of my wares all morning.’

‘Wait.’ Carrot Top looks up. ‘Were you talking about Lyra?’

‘Right. I don’t have to worry about her until she comes to her senses.’

‘Did something happen?’

‘We had a fight. She is totally wrong and stupid. She left, and I am just waiting for her to come crawling back and admitting she is wrong about everything.’

‘Wow. Must have been some fight. Even after you found out about her stalking habits, you didn’t seem this upset.’

Bon Bon growls. ‘She crossed a line that can never be uncrossed. She suggested things... Things I cannot say in polite company... Horrible things she wanted me to do... Disturbing things she has done in the past... I... I don’t...’

Carrot Top reaches across the counter and puts a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. ‘It is okay. You don’t have to talk about it.’

‘Thank you...’ Bon Bon looks up with a smile. ‘So, what do you want? On the house since you are such an understanding friend.’

‘WASSUP!’ Lyra calls as she bursts into the library, forelegs thrown in the air.

The unicorn is greeted by book to the face.

‘This is a library!’ Twilight shouts back.

Rainbow Dash roars with laughter at the mages’ behaviour.

‘Sheesh. Sorry,’ Lyra groans as she comes over and sits with the friends. ‘How’s it going, roomie?’

‘You’re just a guest,’ Twilight snorts. ‘Anyway, my day has been fine. Rainbow and I were just catching up on our reading together.’

‘Just got Daring Do and the Changeling’s Treasure,’ Dash says. ‘Gonna be up all night with the first read.’

‘I hear that Full Moon’s first album really syncs up with that story,’ Lyra comments.

Twilight rolls her eyes. ‘How did your big test go?’

‘I still need to analyze the results, but I am pretty sure he is not really a donkey disguised as a griffin disguised as a pony.’

Twilight slams her face into the book in front of her.

‘Whoa. Disguise-seption.’ Dash is awed.

‘I know. Freaky.’

‘Did you at least do any teaching?’ Twilight moans.

Lyra stares at the other unicorn blankly for a moment. ‘Oh! Sure. I guess. We just started a new semester so we’ve mostly been goofing off.’

‘Always a good lesson plan,’ Dash agrees.

‘You know, you are in a library,’ Twilight hints. ‘You could look up music history or study different musical styles to teach your students.’

Lyra glances over towards the music section. She starts scanning the books. ‘Out of date. Out of date. Dead wrong. No informational value. Out of date. Out of date. That one is almost right. Out of date.’ She starts laughing as she levitates a book from the shelf. She takes a deep breath. ‘No.’ She drops the book in a bin.

Twilight growls as she puts the book back on the shelf. ‘That book happens to be...’

‘The worst book on music ever,’ Lyra interrupts. ‘He misattributes the sources, mixes up the artists and their genres, fails to give any citation to back up the outlandish claims he makes and misspells half of the non-pony artists’ names. The only reason it got published is because he was a major composer and friends with the publisher. Independant reviews ripped it to shreds, but all but one mainstream reviewer gave it high to moderate praise. You have the most recent addition and that is four years old since the facts are finally catching up to it. If you are going to keep it, at least put it in fiction.’

Twilight glares across the table at her guest. She rises and storms out of the room to her laboratory, slamming the door behind her.

‘Whoa. Nopony has ever corrected Twilight on anything that comes to books,’ Dash gapes.

Lyra blinks and stares at the laboratory door. ‘When’s dinner? I’m starved!’

‘Honey! I’m home!’ Bon Bon calls as she enters her home.

The silence falls hard around the mare.

‘Oh. Right.’ She turns her nose up. ‘I am still correct. Serves her right.’

The silent house does not reply.

Bon Bon goes to the phone and dials a number. ‘Carrot Top? It’s Bon Bon. Want to do something tonight?’

A loud crash causes Twilight to jolt upright in bed. She checks a nearby clock and sees she has only been asleep for about three hours. The groggy alicorn gets out of bed and trots from her room to investigate. She passes a still-sleeping Spike on her way. Another loud crash draws her to the kitchen. She slowly opens the door only to scream and duck as a knife flies at her head. The remaining contents of a drawer crash on the floor as Lyra climbs on the counter.

‘Morning, sleepy head,’ Lyra greets.

‘Lyra, it is five-thirty in the morning,’ Twilight growls. ‘What are you doing up?’

‘In both the physical location and mental state sense, looking for candy.’

‘We don’t have any candy.’

‘I’ll say. All I found hidden up here was a small stack of rubies and a crumpled picture of Rarity from our trip to my place out west.’

Twilight groans at the realization that her guest found one of Spike’s private stashes. ‘Lyra, go to bed.’

‘But I need my sugar fix. I always need a sugar fix at this time of day.’

‘Then go home.’

‘Never! She wronged me, Twilight! The only way I am leaving is if she comes crawling on her hands and knees!’

‘What?’

‘Hooves and knees! Whatever!’ The upset unicorn looks away and snorts. ‘Hey, you’re a nerd. Where do you keep the soda?’

‘Where do you think?’ Twilight grumbles. ‘And get off the counter!’

Lyra looks at the refrigerator then at the floor. ‘Can you clean up? I don’t want to step on something sharp.’

‘You have magic...’

‘Yeah, but you’re the host. Come on, roomie. For me?’

Twilight turns and shudders. She trots back to her room to try to get more sleep.

Bon Bon gallops around her shop. Boxes of candy are stacked on all of the shelves and counters to the point of overflowing. A stallion looks at one of the boxes on display.

‘Is this for your fillyfriend? Coltfriend?’ Bon Bon asks, as she appears next to him. ‘I have the perfect gift for all occasions.’

‘Uh, fillyfriend. Sh-she really likes your shop.’

‘Splendid! Good thing we are having a two-for-one sale right now.’ The mare shoves two boxes of candy in the stallion’s hooves. ‘Oh, make it three-for-one. I like the cut of your jib.’

‘My what?’

‘So, will that be cash or credit or do you wish to make another purchase? We have plenty of candy for all tastes.’

‘Um... This will be enough.’

The stallion sets the candy in his saddlebag and gallops from the shop. A purple mare with a deep purple mane watches the stallion pass as she trots into the store. A tray of candy is instantly shoved in her face.

‘Free sample!’ Bon Bon demands.

‘Uh... Make enough?’ Berry Punch asks.

‘Sorry. I’ve just been overstocked for some reason.’

‘Is it because..?’

‘No! It has nothing to do with her! Not a Celestia damned thing!’

‘Sorry. I only mention it because you usually blame your low stocks on...’

‘Say her name, and I am not letting you out with less than one box of candy.’

Berry laughs and backs away. ‘Actually, I was going to invite you out for drinks later. Help get your mind of...’

Bon Bon gallops into the back of the store. She returns moments later with her saddlebag and a hat. ‘Let’s roll!’

‘Uh... It is only three in the afternoon.’

‘Then it is five o’clock somewhere!’

Berry sighs and follows the determined mare to the local saloon.

‘LYRA IN THE HOUSE!’

A large book slams into the face the excited unicorn.

‘This is still a library!’ Twilight shouts.

Beside the angry librarian, Rainbow Dash roars with laughter. Twilight snorts at her friend as she wipes the face print from her book.

Lyra rubs her sore nose. ‘How’s it hangin’, Dash?’

‘Doin’ great, Lyra. How about you?’

‘Kickin’ ass and takin’ names. Whatcha doing here?’

‘Post-read research. Ever since my birthday, I’ve been checking the facts to see what they left out.’

‘Why don’t you just ask her when she is in town?’

Rainbow Dash blushes. ‘Well, um, I’m sorta embarrassed around her, given our history.’

‘Oh? Why is that?’

‘We, uh, sorta hooked up.’

A massive grin spreads across Lyra’s face. ‘When was this?’ A book is levitated in front of her face. ‘Daring Do and The Enigmatic Scientist? The cheesy love story?’

‘It apparently took place between chapters three and four,’ Twilight grumbles, ‘while she was trying to steal my coltfriend, too...’

‘Uh huh,’ Lyra nods as she jots notes. ‘Tried to steal one or two times or constantly? Are we talking AJ-style romantic crush or a full-on Mrs Wanderer?’

‘Well, she did walk in on him in the shower...’ Dash comments.

Twilight levitates the pad away from Lyra. ‘Where the hell are you getting your details?’

‘I did hang out with her only about week ago.’

‘Wait! He showed her his mobile and harassed Celestia!’ Twilight turns to Dash. ‘Rainbow! Why didn’t you tell us?’

‘I told you all the good parts.’ She looks past her friend to the guest. ‘My parts might need a “Mature” tag. … And an “Epic” tag.’

Twilight drops the pad, groans and trots away.

Lyra picks up her pad and looks after the other unicorn. ‘Hey, roomie! When’s dinner?’

Bon Bon groans as she rests her head on the bar. She stares at the light refracting through the drink in front of her. A purple hoof lands beside her while an orange one strokes down her back.

‘There, there. It’s okay,’ Carrot Top coos.

‘Can’t believe she would suggest something like that,’ Berry moans.

‘Hic! Is it a Canterlot thing?’ Bon Bon asks. ‘I know it is not an unicorn thing. Minni was never like that. Hic!’

‘Might be,’ Berry agrees. ‘They just think we farmers here in Ponyville will submit to their odd whims. Disgusting.’

‘It is not that bad.’ Carrot Top shugs. Her friends gasp in shock and horror. ‘What? You never tried it? Excuse me for being open-minded and trying new things once and awhile.’

‘Wh-wh-hic-what was it like?’

‘It is a little unusual at first, but you get used to it,’ the gardener explains. ‘I like to try it sometimes when I need a change from the way things are usually done.’

‘No way!’ Berry declares. ‘It goes against nature. I will not live in an Equestria where that is an option for my Pinchy! I am raising her right, and I already taught her the proper way of doing that.’

‘You taught her, hic, already?’ Bon Bon gasps. ‘But she is so young.’

‘I don’t want her to be unprepared.’

‘What if one of her friends tells her otherwise?’ Carrot Top asks. ‘You can’t control other children.’

Berry snorts. ‘With all of the educational information I have given her, she will be doing it the correct way, no matter what outside influences she gets.’

‘Let’s hope she keeps the old ways sacred...’

‘Bartender!’ Bon Bon calls. ‘Another round!’

Twilight trots home after a day out with her friends. She is not going to question how the Cutie Mark Crusaders unleashed an Elder God that required uniting the Elements of Harmony in order to seal it in its eternal prison once more. She is just going to make a cup of tea, get a strawberry fruit bar and take a nice warm bath. That is, until she opens the door to the library to find Lyra hard at work in the main room. Twilight tries to make herself as quiet as possible, but her adventure earlier has left her drained and unable to teleport or fly. Lyra looks up at the sound of the opening door and immediately beseeches her host.

‘Twilight! Something terrible has happened!’ the unicorn sobs. ‘You are the only pony who can save the day. Otherwise the whole universe is doomed!’

‘Did you break a string on your lyre?’ the exhausted mare groans.

‘WORSE!’ Lyra levitates over a stack of papers. ‘I need you to proofread my latest story.’

As she imagines going back in time and using a certain unicorn as bait instead of having Rainbow Dash pull off several maneuvers more complicated than a lifetime of Wonderbolts shows, Twilight sighs, sits down and starts going through Lyra’s story. She gets out a pen and starts making notes and correcting spelling and grammar, taking pleasure in seeing her annoying guest flinch at every correction. A few pages in, the proofreader catches something amiss. She starts flipping back and forth through the story, trying to catch something in the plot.

Twilight lets out a shocked gasp. ‘This is about the day last week when Applejack called James out to the farm!’

‘Yeah. I think I am going to title it “A Wild Hayride”. What do you think?’

Twilight starts throwing papers all over the library as she tears through the story. She growls and shoves part of the manuscript in Lyra’s face. ‘Did she really seduce him like that?’

Lyra scans the paper. ‘More or less. You just have to ponify it a bit. Hands to hooves. Wiggle her butt to waggle her tail. Breasts to...’

‘Enough! How could she? I thought...’

‘Get to the next page,’ Lyra giggles. ‘It gets better.’

Twilight groans and flips the page. Her jaw drops in shock. ‘Apple Bloom shows up!’

The unicorn barely holds back a laugh. ‘Just wait until you read their excuses for what they were doing. And I thought Rei gave Sweetie Belle bad information.’ She shrugs. ‘At least it is better than the third one. I have no idea where she gets her ideas. She is as bad as that “DashIs1337” character.’

Twilight marches past, her mane blazing.

‘Where’re ya goin’, roomie?’

‘Just going to give my PFF and coltfriend a piece of my mind.’

‘Oh. Okay. Can it wait until after dinner? I’m starved!’

Twilight slowly turns to face her guest. The furious princess really wishes she were facing another Elder God at this moment.

Dinky Hooves munches on a large chocolate treat. She looks up at her mother and smiles. Derpy smiles at her daughter as she eats a chocolate-coated chocolate muffin.

‘Mommy, why is Miss Bon Bon visiting?’

Derpy looks over at her friend who is currently digging through their DVD collection. ‘Miss Bon Bon is going through a tough time right now,’ she explains. ‘We’re keeping her company so she doesn’t feel lonely.’

‘Hey! Let’s watch all of the Daring Do movies!’

‘That might take a bit too long...’

Bon Bon holds up a DVD case. ‘You know she lives here, right? Daring. Mr Wanderer brought her here. She runs the Neighponese shop with Rei now...’

‘Miss Bon Bon, are you okay?’ Dinky asks.

‘The idiot told me that before we fought. She is so good at finding secrets...’

Derpy pats her friend on the back. ‘It is okay. You can always make peace with her again.’

Bon Bon whimpers and looks down at the movie.

Twilight wakes in the middle of the night. She just wants a peaceful night after her crazy day. Now she feels as if something is amiss. Her fears are confirmed when a lime green foreleg wraps around her neck. A muzzle kisses Twilight’s cheek.

‘Uh, Lyra?’

‘Don’t worry, Sweets. It will all be over soon,’ the sleeping unicorn coos.

Lyra’s horn glows. A ball of magic forms. Slowly, it forms five small appendages and moves under the covers. Twilight shrieks and casts a spell. There is a loud crash, and Lyra screams as she is thrown through the nearest window.

The sleep-deprived and frustrated Twilight Sparkle stalks through town to find her target. The citizens of Ponyville recognize the look on her face and know to stay out of her way. The beleaguered princess eventually reaches her target: a sweet shop with three wrapped candies on the sign. She bucks open the door and steps in, only to be buried under a rain of chocolates.

‘Sorry!’ Bon Bon calls from the back of the shop. ‘We’re a little overstocked right now. Feel free to sample as much as you want until you are ready to make a purchase. Don’t forget to pick up your free boxes of chocolate on your way in and out.’

‘Why don’t you just make less chocolate?’ Twilight grumbles as she picks herself up, chocolate staining her coat and feathers.

‘I’ve tried... It is just so hard after being used to making this much for so long. Anyway, how can I help...’ Bon Bon recognizes her visitor. ‘You!’ She turns her nose up. ‘I have nothing to say to her.’

‘Could have fooled me. You have a chocolate problem, and I have a problem with somepony tearing my library apart looking for chocolate.’

‘I don’t see how those are related.’

‘Last night she tried...’

‘The hand?’ Bon Bon blushes. ‘The feel of it as it runs over your coat, tracing all of your curves... Probing. Exploring. The magic is so tingly against the...’

‘Bon Bon! I am one day away from using the Elements to give her the Nightmare Moon treatment. What do I have to do to get you to take your wife back?’

The older mare breaks from her fantasy and glares at the younger one. ‘Hmph! I know of your bizarre habits. You two are made for each other.’

‘I have no idea what that means but if you have a problem with me negotiating your reconciliation, perhaps I can find a neutral party.’

‘I’m listening...’

Lyra and Bon Bon glare at each other from across the library. Twilight sits between them and levitates a notepad ready for stenography. At the entrance, Spike clears his throat.

‘Hear ye, hear ye. The court of Golden Oaks Library is now in session -- the Honorable Physicist presiding.’

James enters the building and gives Spike a brohoof. ‘Good on ya, sir.’

‘Back at ya, homie.’

James crosses the room and sits with the mares. ‘So, what do we got? I am ready for anything.’

‘Lyra and Bon Bon are fighting and need an impartial mediator to settle the dispute,’ Twilight explains.

‘Sounds good. As you know, I am a physicist, thus I can solve any problem. Lay it on me.’

The two fighting mares look at their mediator then glare at each other.

‘She cuts her sandwiches lengthwise!’ Lyra shouts, pointing an accusatory hoof.

Bon Bon gasps. ‘At least I am not a freak who cuts them diagonally!’

James looks between the two parties. ‘Really? That is it?’

‘No, no,’ Twilight interrupts. ‘Sandwiches should be cut diagonally.’

‘Not that lecture again,’ Spike groans.

‘See! That is why she is not allowed to mediate,’ Bon Bon snorts. ‘She is instantly on your side.’

‘Like your weird friends are any better,’ Lyra growls back. ‘Pfft. Lengthwise.’

James stands and trots away. ‘That’s it. I’m out of here.’

‘Well, how do you cut your sandwiches?’ Twilight asks.

‘I don’t!’ James shouts back before marching out of the room.

Unrelated Bonus Scene Needed for Future Continuity

Author's Note

That is probably my favorite joke in the series.

Story Timeline: Rei and Daring hire Flitter at a part-time employee.

According to Alton Brown, sandwiches should be sliced diagonally for best flavor and stability.

First Day of School

Main Characters: Rei, Stormy, Image, Lucas, Trixie, Octavia, Lyra
Cameos: TWP, Inkie, Twilight, Earth Grainsborough, Raspberry Soufflé, Vinyl, Rarity
Original Write Date: June 15, 2012

A new semester and new teachers brings plenty of changes to Ponyville High School. Students get new teachers (except for Honors Music which is always with Lyra). Teachers get new students. The ‘Has/Had Rei as Student’ support group gains several new members. One of the few teachers (yet) unaffected by the hyperactive pegasus in the student’s new composition teacher.

The kindly unicorn returns the students’ introductory assignment while writing on the board. ‘I was very pleased with your writing, though some of the subject matter was a little unusual.’

Stormy smirks as he gets his paper back.

‘For your next assignment, I want you working in nonfiction with yourself as the subject matter.’

Rei waves a hoof in the air. ‘I fought a kraken! Can I write about that?’

The class groans, having grown sick of hearing that story.

‘Actually, you will be writing about your first day of school,’ the teacher replies. The class is confused. ‘It will be the very first day of school you can remember. It can be as early as magic kindergarten or as recently as last week if you don’t have that good of a memory.’

‘OOO! OOO!’

‘No krakens!’

‘Actually...’ Rei looks down. ‘I was wondering if it is okay if the story sounds like fiction but is really true.’

The teacher sighs. ‘A lot of unbelievable things happen in this world. Everpony’s story is unique. I want to hear all of your stories, good or bad, exciting or boring.’

The class starts murmuring about the assignment.

‘First day of school? That is stupid,’ Lyra declares. ‘You should have a cool assignment like writing about humans or something.’

The class groans.

Lyra starts plucking the strings on her instrument. ‘You know... That might not be that bad of a topic. You just have to pick the right first day...’ She closes her eyes and thinks. ‘Preschool, boring. Magic kindergarten, boring. First grade... That was an interesting day.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lyra walks to school, ready to see what the new year brings. She has a new dress, new shoes and a new backpack with her favorite cartoon character, a mint-green unicorn, on it. She is so excited for the new school year that she heads straight for class, ignoring the playing girls and boys in the schoolyard.

Unfortunately, there is someone blocking her way. A younger girl, at least three years younger than Lyra, is stuck at the school entrance. The girl has long purple hair with a pink streak running through it. She is pushing like mad to try and open the doors that are clearly marked ‘Pull’. She is pushing so hard, her shoes are getting worn on the pavement. Lyra calmly walks to the doors and pulls one open. The girl collapses to the ground, panting.

‘Thanks. I didn’t know they were testing us on the first day.’

‘Uh... No problem?’

The first bell rings. The younger girl springs up.

‘Oh no! I’m TARDY!’

The girl runs into the school as fast as she can. Lyra sighs and continues to class. She finds a nice spot at the back of the class, the perfect spot for napping. The rest of the class files in and fills the room. The tardy bell rings as the teacher returns with the girl Lyra encountered earlier.

‘Sorry we’re late class,’ the teacher says. ‘We had a bit of confusion with one of our students.’

The girl blushes and waves. ‘Hi. My name is Twilight Sparkle. Nice to meet all of you.’

‘Thank you, Miss Sparkle. Looks like your classmates saved you plenty of room up front.’ He shows Twilight to a seat. ‘Now, since Miss Sparkle led us off, let’s begin class introductions.’

The students groan.

At lunch, Lyra is running around the yard. The other students ignore or laugh at the excitable girl. She runs past a bench but comes back when she notices someone sitting there among a pile of books. Twilight reads by herself, oblivious to the world around her.

‘What are you doing?’ Lyra asks.

Twilight does not respond.

‘Um... Is everything okay?’

Twilight keeps reading.

‘Heeelloooo~~!’

Lyra waves her hand in front of the other girl. Twilight jumps in surprise.

‘Oh. Hi. You’re in my class, right?’

‘Yep! I’m Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings!’

‘My name is...’

‘Twilight Sparkle. I know. You introduced yourself first in class.’

‘Oh, right.’

‘So, what are ya up to?’

‘I am just getting ahead on our assigned reading.’

Lyra peeks at the cover of the book. ‘That doesn’t look like our book...’

‘It is our reading from three months from now.’

The older girl perks up. ‘Are you psychic? Do you know if I am going to get a really cool birthday present?’

Twilight closes her book. ‘One, there is no such thing as being psychic. No one can predict the future. And two, the reading was on the syllabus. I just got a copy early from the teacher.’

Lyra picks up one of Twilight’s other books. She flips through a few pages, scanning all the text. ‘This doesn’t have any pictures.’

‘It is the textbook my mother assigned to her class at university. I am almost done with it. It is pretty good.’

‘But, no pictures...’

Twilight groans and takes the book back. Another group of girls walk past.

‘Ha. Looks like the weirdo is trying to make friends with the nerd.’

‘I don’t know which to feel sorrier for.’

‘I know! Total loser patrol.’

The girls laugh and keep walking. Twilight looks down at her book. Lyra can see the tears forming. She reaches out and pats Twilight on the back.

‘Its okay. They’re just jealous that they aren’t as cool as us.’

‘Why do they call us weird?’ Twilight whispers.

‘Because you’re way smarter than them and because I am a visionary.’

‘Visionary? You?’

‘I dare to believe in a world where humans and ponies can run free together and be one!’ Lyra swings her backpack around and taps the unicorn character. After a brief pause, she adds, 'Also, I'm a waterbender.'

Twilight giggles. ‘You’re funny, but there is nothing in anything I have read that says what you believe in cannot exist somewhere in the universe or in another dimension.’

‘That is what I keep trying to tell everyone!’

Twilight laughs. ‘I like you, Lyra. Hey! Do you want the other half of my sandwich? My mom made it too big for me.’

Twilight holds up a plastic container with half a sandwich in it. Lyra notes that it is cut diagonally before she takes it. She smiles and sits with her new friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘...And that day, I learned the true meaning of friendship,’ Lyra finishes with a sob.

She dries a tear and turns to her class. They are all staring at her like she is an idiot. Rei is the only one scribbling notes. The unicorn frowns and growls at her students.

‘That’s it. That is going to be on the test. Expect a lot of highly detailed questions.’

The class groans and headdesks in unison.

Rei, Stormy and Image trot back towards The Power Block after school. All the students are talking about their assignment. Word has spread through town and a number of other ponies are gossiping about their experiences as well. The three teens are joined by Inkie as they get close to home.

‘How was class?’ Inkie asks.

‘Boring,’ Stormy replies.

‘Disturbing,’ Image adds.

‘Humantastic!’ Rei cheers.

The other three look at the pegasus.

‘What? Lyra-sensei uses that word all the time.’

‘Yeah, but she’s an idiot,’ Stormy groans.

‘I heard about the assignment,’ Inkie says. ‘Who has a good story?’

Everypony looks at Rei. The filly shrinks away.

‘Actually... I rather not.’

‘I have a simple story...’ Image starts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young Image Crystal is drawing a picture with crayons. He is quite pleased with the work he is doing. A throat is cleared in another part of the room. Image looks over at the teacher and a circle of foals.

‘Image, coloring time is over. We have to get back to our lessons,’ the teacher says.

‘I will when I am done.’

The teacher stomps over and levitates the picture with his magic. ‘You are done now!’ He looks at the picture and pauses. ‘You will join us when you are done.’

The teacher returns the picture and goes back to the rest of the class.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The friends laugh at the story as they cross The Power Block and head up to the residence. Rei waves to her father and Lucas as they pass. The two stallions wave at the group.

James turns to Lucas. ‘So?’

‘What?’

‘What was your first day of school like?’

‘What was yours?’

‘Time Lords kidnap future Time Lords in the middle of the night. My dad told me that was the first night since I was born that he got sleep. That was the last time I talked to him before my planet was destroyed in the war.’ Lucas stares in shock. ‘Your turn.’

Lucas sighs and shakes his head. ‘Nothing as bad as that, but still just as traumatising.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Earth Grainsborough escorts her younger brother to his first day of school. The two unicorns trot toward a busy school building. The younger unicorn shakes a little. His sister puts a hoof on her brother’s back.

‘Don’t worry. It is always scary the first time.’

‘Will it hurt?’

Earth giggles. ‘It will all be over quickly.’

‘What should I do?’

‘Well...’ the filly taps her chin. ‘You should answer every question and if the teacher is wrong, you have to correct her immediately, even if that means interrupting. And if there is a pony you like, you have to pinch and tease them to let them know.’

Lucas nods eagerly. Earth laughs and leads her brother into the school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘I came home after detention with three black eyes.’

James rolls on the ground laughing. Lucas sighs and gets back to work.

After spending the afternoon with her friends, Inkie trots back to her apartment for dinner. She waves at her neighbors. Trixie and Octavia are passing through town on their way to separate performances. The mares wave and return to Trixie’s apartment for dinner. Trixie sets their take-out on the table while Octavia pours them drinks.

‘The town is really abuzz about that school assignment,’ Octavia notes. ‘It is quite inspiring to hear everypony’s story.’

‘Yes, it seems everypony has a fun tale of their own.’ Trixie grins. ‘Fun, uncopyrighted tales.’

‘What about you? The Great and Powerful Trixie must have had an interesting first day.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Filly Trixie stands beside a bed. She pushes a large lump.

‘Mommy! Wake up! It is time for magic kindergarten!’

‘Go away,’ Amelia moans. ‘Mommy had a late night.’

An empty liqueur bottle drops from the bed. Trixie backs away and frowns. She trots out of the room. A servant escorts the young filly away. Trixie tries not to cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘My first day was like any other. Nothing special.’

Octavia shrugs. ‘I can always ask Lyra for the truth next time I see her.’

The unicorn snorts. ‘What about you? Music school must breed interesting stories.’

The cellist looks down at her drink and smiles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A smaller Octavia is shoved into a large puddle. She lands mane first. A pair of fillies stand over her and laugh.

‘Rich bitch,’ one of the fillies scoffs. ‘You should just get lost. Should be easy for you since you’re so short.’

‘Yeah, think you’re better than us?’ the other filly snorts. ‘All of your money and your stupid music doesn’t make you worthy of being in the same school as us.’

Octavia stares up at the bullies with tears in her eyes. One of the bullies throws a ball of mud at the down filly, but it stops centimeters from the victim’s face. The mud is slung back at the bullies. A white unicorn with an electric blue mane and a barred eighth note cutie mark steps between Octavia and the bullies.

‘Why don’t ya pick on somepony your own size?’

A bully snorts. ‘Whatever, freak.’

The bullies trot away, leaving the two ponies. The white pony turns and smiles a wide grin at Octavia. She offers a hoof to the fallen pony. Octavia stands and wipes the mud from her mane and coat.

‘Thanks for the help...’ the musician mumbles.

‘Name’s Vinyl. What’s yours?’

‘I’m Octavia Philharmonica,’ she says with a bow.

‘Great to meet ya, Tavi!’

The earth pony growls. ‘That is Octavia.’

‘Lighten up, Tavi. Hey! I got a great idea! You like jazz?’

‘It is okay. I guess.’

‘Great! Come on!’

Vinyl leads Octavia away. They pass a small shop along the way. Octavia breaks away for a moment. She returns with a small bag.

‘Here. For helping me earlier.’

Vinyl opens the bag and levitates a pair of purple sunglasses. Her grin triples in size as they land on her face. ‘Sweet. Thanks, Tavi! I love ‘em!’

Octavia blushes. ‘Yeah. You look great.’

‘Come on! Let’s party!’

Octavia laughs. The two fillies gallop away together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Octavia leans back and smiles. ‘It was a great day.’

‘I think I can use...’

‘Ten bits per show and fifty bit licensing fee. Double if you want to use my image.’

‘But...’

Octavia grins. ‘How about by lawyers will contact your lawyers?’

Stormy sets down his quill and leans back from his desk. He screams and falls out of his seat when he spots Rarity at the door. His headphones come unplugged as his music player stays on the desk.

‘Sorry to startle you, dear.’

‘No prob, Rarity. What’s up?’

‘Well, I heard of your assignment, and I was wondering... I mean, I hate snooping...’

Stormy smiles and levitates the paper to his friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stormy trots up to the Ponyville Schoolhouse. His legs are shaking. A hoof to the shoulder calms him. He looks up at his smiling mother. She is breathing heavier than she should for a young mare.

‘It is okay, Strawberry. No need to be scared.’

‘But, mommy...’

Raspberry leans down and hugs her son. ‘You are my lovely Strawberry. You are big and brave and strong. You are going to be fine. Everypony is going to love you, too.’

‘Are you sure, mommy?’

‘I am certain. You have to be strong, for me. Mommy needs her son to be strong.’

‘I will, mommy! I will be strong for you! You’ll see! I’ll make you proud!’

Stormy gallops off to go to school. Raspberry smiles and trots away. She does not get far into town before she collapses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stormy holds the sobbing Rarity. He pats her on the back.

‘It is okay,’ Stormy assures. ‘I have been brave and strong since then.’

Rarity wipes her tears. ‘Yes, you are the strongest.’

‘Rei! Homework time!’

‘Got ya! Video game time!’

‘Rei! Wash up and do your homework!’

Rei growls. She unlocks her bedroom door and trots to the washroom. When she emerges, she is confronted by her father.

‘You should at least wait until bedtime to do that.’

‘Why? You sneak off with your fillyfriends all the time.’

‘We at least wait for a private moment. Now make with your first day.’

Rei snorts and trots to her room. She closes the game she was playing and opens a document.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rei is dressed in her new uniform. She straightens her tartan skirt and fiddles with her tie. She will have to ditch it on somepony as soon as she gets to school. She stretches her wings as they stick through her shirt. Very uncomfortable since only foal sizes fit her. She is not a foal!

An attendant looks the young filly over. She smiles at what she sees and offers a saddlebag to the filly.

‘You look quite lovely, Rei-chan.’

‘Arigato.’

‘Don’t be nervous. You will do great. You skipped so many levels and got to the best school in the nation. I am sure all of the other fillies and colts will love you.’

‘That will be a first.’

‘Just be your beautiful, perfect self. You will do great.’

Rei nods and trots out the door.
…

Rei gallops back into her home. She is sobbing uncontrollably. She charges right past her attendant and slams the door to her room behind her. The attendant trots over and knocks on the door.

‘Rei-chan? Is everything okay?’

‘GO AWAY!’ Rei subconsciously taps her Royal Canterlot voice. ‘JUST LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE!’

‘Rei-chan!’ the attendant gasps. ‘Surely you do not mean that!’

‘I DO! AND DON’T CALL ME SHIRLEY!’

‘But you have a visitor.’

‘TELL THEM TO GO F...’

‘LANGUAGE YOUNG LADY!’ is shouted back at a higher volume than Rei’s shouting.

Rei peeks from her room. ‘Luna-sama?’

The Queen of the Night and ruler of the New Lunar Republic stares back at the sobbing filly. ‘May we enter?’

Rei nods and lets Luna into the room. The alicorn sits beside the upset filly and is instantly grabbed in a hug.

‘I came to see how your day went, but I can assume the results.’

‘They were so mean to me!’ Rei sobs into Luna’s coat. ‘They wouldn’t stop teasing me! Not for one moment! The teachers did nothing to stop them! I never want to go back to school again!’

‘There must have been one bright spot today. According to my sources, I thought you got a good homeroom teacher.’

‘Umako-sensei was pretty nice...’

‘See. Even in the darkness, there is a bright spot. I am sure Umako-sensei will help you.’

‘I guess...’

Luna nuzzles the upset filly. ‘Come now, what is your motto again? The one Helios taught you.’

Rei closes her eyes and buries her muzzle in Luna’s coat again. ‘Be happy. Be happy. Always be happy and hang in there. I have to hang in there.’

Luna rests her head on Rei’s. ‘That is my lovely Full Moon. We love you. We want you to be happy. Hang in there, Full Moon. Hang in there.’

A Certain Magical Railgun

Main Characters: Rei, Luna, Cadence, Celestia
Cameos: Sunshine, Night Light, Twilight Velvet
Original Start Date: September 24, 2012

Rei giggles happily as she follows Luna through Canterlot Castle. The young mare will be staying with the princess for a while. After seeing her outbursts in Neighpon, Luna has been fascinated by Rei’s electrical affinity and hopes to help the young mare learn to control her power. Rei does not care. She is just excited to staying in the palace with Luna again.

‘I have arranged for your usual room,’ Luna states. ‘We have made some changes to the castle since our return from Neighpon. I believe you will enjoy them. As always, you are free to do as you please during the day. I have made time each night for us to study your powers. Please be ready when I call.’

‘Will do, Luna-sama! I can’t wait to learn about my powers, too.’

‘That is great to hear. I am sure we will learn lots.’

The two round a corner and enter a large sitting room. Celestia is there already, talking with a pink alicorn. The two alicorns look up and smile.

‘Dear sister, Princess Cadence has just arrived for a visit,’ Celestia informs the new arrivals.

‘I’m not staying long,’ Cadence adds. ‘I just needed to get away from the palace life for a while.’

‘You are avoiding a palace in a palace?’ Rei asks.

Cadence laughs. ‘Not really the best idea, I guess. You must be Rei, right?’

The young mare pokes Cadence. ‘You’re not a plushie, are you? Ringo-neesama has a plushie that looks just like you.’

‘I’m as real as you are.’

Rei pokes again. ‘Can I have a ponyback ride to my room? Hikari-chan says you are good at those.’

Cadence laughs again. ‘Maybe later.’

Rei gives one last poke then turns to Luna. ‘I’m done. When’s dinner?’

Rei trots back to her room after dinner. She is happy to be able to eat her fill of such great food. Celestia did her best to keep up (though Rei found it odd that Luna and Cadence did not even try competing), but youth and beauty won in the end. The young mare gives a small burp before arriving at her room. She is about to enter when another pony trots up behind her.

‘Miss Rei, we did not get much of a chance to talk earlier. Would you mind if I came in?’ Cadence asks with a smile.

Rei shrugs. ‘Why not? What’s up, Ai-hime?’

Cadence laughs. ‘Do you have a nickname for everypony?’

‘Not everypony since I haven’t met everypony.’

The two young mares laugh and enter the room. Both line up a jump and belly flop onto the bed at the same time.

‘These beds are so comfy!’ Cadence moans.

‘Almost as good as my bed back home,’ Rei comments.

‘How can you have better? These are the best in Equestria.’

‘Daddy’s ship creates beds perfectly suited for the user. They are always the most perfect beds for stretching out on or cuddling or cl...’ -- Rei blushes -- ‘scholarly pursuits.’

The princess giggles. ‘I bet you’re a diligent scholar.’

‘Who told you..! I mean! I’ve never done anything like that!’

‘Rei, I am the princess of love. I can sense love everywhere, even if just one pony is involved.’

Rei frowns and squeaks.

‘...Which is why you only shake my aunt’s hooves when she is wearing her hoof cups,’ Cadence whispers with a giggle.

Rei giggles too. ‘So, what did you want to talk about?’

‘I just want to get to know you. I saw some of the stuff you told my aunts. Is it true you are from another Equestria?’

‘Yep! I am Princess Full Moon! At least, I would be.’

‘It is okay. I am sure you can go home sometime.’

‘Actually, I would want to stay here. I love my daddy and Inkie and mommy and Inkie and Luna and Inkie and Stormy and Inkie...’

Cadence smiles. ‘I am certain they all love you very much, too.’

Rei smiles and gives Cadence a big hug. There is a knock on the door, and Luna looks in. She smiles at what she sees.

‘Rei, I would like to run a quick test tonight if that is okay,’ Luna says. ‘We can wait until later if you are busy.’

‘I don’t mind,’ Rei replies.

‘Yes, Rei and I can spend time together later,’ Cadence adds.

‘I am glad to see you two becoming friends.’

Cadence escorts Rei to the door. ‘She is a sweet young mare. I can see why everypony loves her so much.’

Rei giggles and waves as she follows Luna away.

Luna magically places electrodes on Rei while the young mare stands in the center of a large room. Luna adjusts a pair of glasses as she checks readouts in front of her.

‘I just want to do one quick test tonight,’ Luna states. ‘It will give me a good idea where we can start tomorrow.’

‘Roger!’

‘Good. Now, I want you to create the strongest electrical field you can.’

‘Yes, ma’am!’

Rei closes her eyes and focuses. There are some sparks around her, but nothing spectacular. Luna frowns at the data.

‘Rei, I know you can do better. I saw what you did to that hotel room.’

‘I am trying, but I cannot make a field that strong unless I am angry. Nothing can get me upse...’

‘Inkie doesn’t love you.’

‘WHAT! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!’ Rei screams, the shout echoing off the walls. Huge arcs of electricity surround the pegasus. ‘SHE DOES LOVE ME! THAT IS A HORRIBLE AND DISGUSTING LIE! INKIE LOVES ME! WHY WOULD YOU... Oh... That was just a trick to get me mad. Well, it is not working.’

Rei sits, crosses her forelegs and sticks out her tongue. Luna gets up from behind the console.

‘I think you might have maxed out my gauges.’ Luna breathes a sigh of relief. ‘Good thing this room is heavily shielded or you could have shorted out the whole city.’

‘Gomen nasai.’

‘It is okay. I doubt any real damage was done.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Celestia gets out of a bath after a long day. She levitates a towel to herself and starts drying off. Suddenly, the lights flicker and go out. The princess shouts, and there is a big splash.

‘LUNA!’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘That is very good for a first test,’ Luna compliments. ‘Hey, let’s grab Cadence and get some ice cream.’

‘Can I get every flavor?’

‘You can even get the secret flavors.’

‘YAY! You are way nicer than daddy when he takes me for ice cream.’

Luna laughs and trots out of the lab with Rei dancing around her.

Rei and Cadence trot down a busy Canterlot street. Despite being out with a princess, the pair do not attract a lot of attention. Rei looks around at all of the shops.

‘So, Rei, what do you like doing when you are in town?’ Cadence asks.

‘I don’t know,’ Rei replies. ‘I usually just do stuff around the castle until Luna is free.’

‘Hmm...’ Cadence taps her chin. ‘Well, we went for ice cream last night, so that might be...’

‘I like ice cream!’

The princess laughs. ‘Okay. Then how about we go to Twilight’s favorite shop and plan more things to do?’

‘Ice cream!’

Rei tries lifting Cadence and flying away. The princess laughs and flaps her wings to help the small pegasus.

Rei and Cadence trot through a park after their ice cream. They stop and sit by a statue of Celestia that has several rubber bands around the horn.

‘How do you like Canterlot, Rei?’

‘It is all right. Not really what I expected. A lot of unicorns...’

‘Yeah. It does not really live up to the hype of being the capital once you go beyond the palace. There are fun spots, though.’

‘No amusement parks or giant, talking neon billboards.’

Cadence laughs. ‘Right. I forgot you are from Neighpon.’

‘You should go sometime. Hikaru-kun could show you around. Oh! And Full Moon! You would have to... Never mind. You wouldn’t like her.’

The princess scowls. ‘Right. Shining’s unauthorized vacation.’ She snorts. ‘Anyway. How does our Canterlot compare to yours?’

Rei kicks at the ground. ‘Well, I’ve never been to the one where I was born. I heard a lot of tales from Luna-sama and my brother, though...’

‘I’m sorry if I brought up sad thoughts.’

‘No, it is okay. It is good to remember them. I would like to see them again. Just to tell them I am okay. The letters are fine, but...’

Cadence puts a wing around Rei. ‘Why don’t you tell me about them?’

Luna and Rei are back in the laboratory, doing breathing exercises.

‘While you have much potential and vast power, tapping your anger every time you wish to access your power could be fatal,’ Luna explains. ‘According to my monitor, a great deal of current passed through your core when you lost control last night. Those of us with horns have a point where we can focus our magical potential. It is exceptionally rare for a non-unicorn to have any magical ability beyond the natural talents of the tribe, such as a pegasus’ ability to control the weather.’

‘But wouldn’t that mean my electrical affinity is just an extension of my normal abilities?’

‘Yes and no. Yes, a pegasus can create lightning from stomping a cloud, but you have the ability to tap into an internal source of magical energy. This energy is likely the cause of your powers. I suspect it is because of your lineage.’

‘You mean I got this power from my parents?’

‘Correct. You told me of your non-magical siblings. Do either of them have unusual powers?’

‘I... only met them a couple of times. Bradbury would never go anywhere if Apple Bloom didn’t go too, and Asimov only went to family events in Canterlot or Ponyville. I only met them when Pinkie came to Neighpon when we were all foals.’

Luna hugs Rei. ‘I’m sorry for bringing up such thoughts.’

Rei wraps her forelegs around Luna. ‘It is okay.’

The two ponies hug for short time before resuming their meditation.

‘As I was getting to, we need to find a point for you to focus your powers. Your hooves are the obvious answer, but you would have to learn how to move your magical field around within your body first. That is why we are practicing our breathing. Once our bodies are in their lowest energy state, we can adjust our magic flow at will.’

‘That is why Twilight only loses control of her magic when she is unfocused!’

‘Exactly. She does a lot of other things unfocused, too.’

‘Not when she goes into daddy’s room with him when they think I am in bed. She is very focused then.’

‘Yes, well...’ Luna suppresses her anger, her coat changing to black for a brief moment. ‘Let’s try refocusing our energies, shall we? Just feel the energy that is inside you and move it slightly to another spot on your body. Don’t try and move it all there at once, but slowly shift it around within you.’

Rei closes her eyes and focuses.

‘Good,’ Luna comments. ‘I can feel you moving it. I believe your magical energies may be connected to your Moon Armor as well. Perhaps if you master moving the energies around your body, you might become invisible at other wavele...’

Rei lets out a large belch. She blushes. ‘Gomen.’

Luna turns and stares down at the young mare. Rei squeaks and shrinks down a bit. Luna looks back up, takes a deep breath, focuses and lets out a massive belch that shakes the room. Rei stares up in awe.

Luna blushes and coughs. ‘Discord taught me the proper place to focus your energies to do such a thing. I see you found it on your own.’ She leans down and whispers, ‘Our sister is able to do that without magical enhancements, thanks to all of the cake she partakes in.’

The two ponies giggle and resume their breathing exercises.

After a few seconds, Luna warns, ‘Just don’t focus your energy to the opposite pole.’

Rei blushes. ‘Gomen.’

Luna sighs and magically opens a window.

Celestia trots through the back halls of the palace. She stops at a set of massive double doors. The unicorn guards salute and magically open the doors. Fanfare plays as the princess enters a chamber filled with ponies of all ages and tribes. All of the ponies stand and bow as Celestia makes her way to a large, decorated chair and sits. She bows to the assembled ponies. She opens her mouth to speak, and a large belch fills the room. Everypony stares at the shocked princess, whose mouth is still wide open.
…

Celestia storms through the halls. She is blushing so much her coat is practically pink. Behind her, a giggling Rei is being magically carried by the princess.

‘We findeth that not the least bit funny!’ Celestia grumbles. ‘Thou embarrassedst us in front of all of those ponies. Doth thou knowest what the newsponies are going to say about us?’

‘That you need to chew your food more? No! That you need stronger breath mints.’

‘Thou are lucky we art in a pleasant mood or else thou might findest thyself in lunar orbit until thy mother hath awoke.’

‘I guess from my location and the relative masses, I am in solar orbit right now then.’

Celestia turns and glares at the young mare. ‘As we hath told thy father on many an occasion, our flank art perfectly formed and it taketh much effort to shedeth our baby fat! It is just baby fat...’

Rei giggles. Celestia continues her march. She kicks open a door to reveal Cadence kissing her laptop monitor which is displaying a stream of Shining Armor kissing his monitor as well. The couple freezes in their embarrassing moment. Celestia dumps the young mare in the middle of the room and storms away.

‘She is thy problem now!’

‘I broke her so much she talked funny,’ Rei giggles. She turns her head a bit. ‘Hi, Hikaru-kun!’

Shining nervously laughs and waves over the stream while Cadence quickly cleans her monitor.

Luna rearranges her laboratory before that night’s tests. She hears the door open behind her.

‘Luna-sama!’ Rei calls. ‘I got the best Nightmare Night costume idea! Wanna see?’

‘Wouldn’t that spoil the surprise?’ Luna replies as she keeps working.

‘No, turn around.’

Luna turns around then immediately jumps back. A short, midnight blue pegasus with a starfield mane and tail is standing in the room.

‘Like it?’ Rei giggles. ‘I was thinking about what you said last night about changing the wavelengths of light around me. Cadence helped me get the colors right.’

‘That must take a lot of focus,’ Luna says, quite impressed.

Rei takes a deep breath and her colors return to normal. ‘It does. I’d only use it for special occasions.’

‘Like for a Nightmare Night costume?’

‘That is a special occasion! It is a day celebrating Luna-sama!’

Luna blushes. ‘It is sweet of you to consider me like that.’ She turns back to her equipment. ‘Now, Rei, since you were the one who brought it up, we are going to be continuing your focus training tonight.’

‘My body is ready.’

‘I believe it is.’ Luna motions to the center of the room. ‘If you would be so kind, I would like to attach the monitoring equipment to you again. That way I can more easily quantify the changes in your body.’

‘Okay. Are we going to find where I have to focus my energy in order to turn me completely invisible?’

Luna starts levitating the electrodes around Rei’s body. ‘Perhaps. There is always time to experiment with different passive fields, but tonight I would like to see if we can develop something more offensive in nature.’

Rei giggles. ‘Like with Celestia this morning?’

Luna laughs. ‘That was most amusing. Sister was quite furious. But no, I was thinking something more along the lines of combat abilities.’

Rei’s eyes go wide. ‘That would be so awesome!’

‘It is potentially dangerous, too,’ Luna warns. ‘Are you sure you can handle such power?’

Rei stands tall. ‘I am not afraid.’

‘Very good. Let’s begin with something simple. Raise your right foreleg and focus a small fraction of your power to the tip.’

Rei closes her eyes, begins her breathing exercises and focuses. A small ball of electrical energy forms.

‘Now release!’

The electrical burst shoots from Rei’s hoof and impacts the wall, leaving a tiny scorch mark.

‘Very impressive, Rei! All of the readings indicate that your powers behave exactly like unico... WHA!’

Luna ducks as another ball of electrical energy hits behind her head. Rei is doing a complicated dance, sending bursts of electricity with each kick. She flaps her wings and sends a large ball of electricity crashing harmlessly into the wall. Luna looks up from her console at the exhausted young mare.

‘Sorry,’ Rei pants. ‘I was curious about what I could do.’

‘Apparently a lot,’ Luna comments, looking over her equipment. ‘And with amazing restraint, too! Each of those bursts was only a fraction of your first attempt. Even the one you created with your wings was relatively weak by comparison.’

‘Weak!? I’m wiped out!’

Luna laughs. ‘You are just getting used to your powers. I have seen many skilled unicorns try to do half of what you just did on their first time only to end up far more exhausted. Even Starswirl had to begin somewhere.’

‘Can we go on?’

Luna smiles. ‘Of course we can, but you must rest first. I’ll have the maids bring us some refreshments.’

Luna rounds her console and sits with Rei while she gets out her mobile to order some snacks.

Cadence trots through the statue garden at the palace. The representations of great ponies throughout Equestrian history make the young princess smile. Above her, Rei flies from statue to statue, taking in every detail she can.

‘I am surprised you have never been here. I always enjoy strolling through here when I visit.’ Cadence laughs to herself. ‘As long as we avoid the Crystal Catacombs, I enjoy strolling through most of the palace.’

‘Asa-hime’ -- Rei giggles at her pun -- ‘never lets me come here. She says it is for the good of Equestria.’

‘Nonsense. A little history is good for everypony.’ Cadence stops and looks down a guarded path away from the garden. ‘He learned that the hard way.’

‘Discord!’ Rei instantly darts towards the creature’s manor.

Discord, clad in a flowery sun bonnet, looks up from watering his lawn and waves. His guards remain impassive despite dripping from a failed attempt at a water fight. Cadence stops the young mare before she can get to close.

‘If he had known the power of Twilight’s friendship, he wouldn’t have dared been as cavalier as he was.’ Cadence looks at the draconequus. ‘Now, he a virtual servant of my aunt.’ She laughs. ‘Though, he gets free sometimes.’

Discord makes finger pistols at Cadence. ‘Thanks for getting the hubby to look the other way last weekend.’ He cackles. ‘Rumors of that fool Sombra’s return were greatly exaggerated.’

Cadence groans.

‘In my world, his history is a lot different,’ Rei says, looking back at Cadence. ‘It is a lot sadder. His statue, which is stored under the ocean and guarded by the best in the Republic and the sea ponies, is a lot sadder. He was begging to be sealed away after he accidentally mortally wounded Celestia. He may have done some mean things, but he knew his right from wrong and was willing to sacrifice himself in the end.’

‘That is so sad. I didn’t know your history was so different,’ Cadence moans.

‘Our history is full of sad stories.’ Rei flies close and kisses Discord’s cheek and puts hoof in his paw. ‘It is okay now.’

The young mare is yanked back from Discord.

‘It is far from okay!’ Celestia shouts. ‘You know you are not allowed here.’

‘Oh, Celi , dear. Must you always come between me and my friends,’ Discord growls.

Rei smiles at the upset princess. ‘It is okay. I did what I came to do. I’ll leave here now.’

The young mare bows politely and trots away. Both Celestia and Cadence are confused about Rei’s behaviour, but they shrug and follow her out of the garden, leaving Discord alone once more. He looks down at his paw and smiles.

A recent addition to Canterlot Castle is its brand new bathhouse modeled after those found in Neighpon. Rei and Cadence are enjoying a bath together after their day at play. Cadence sits in the bath and soaks while Rei is hiding with just the top of her muzzle exposed.

‘This was a great idea my aunts had,’ the princess sighs. ‘I can just feel the stress melting from my body.’

‘Ai-hime...’ Rei sits up, ‘Do you hate the changelings for what they did to you?’

Cadence tenses up, the stress reabsorbing into her body. ‘Well, uh, I know they were just acting out of instinct and self-preservation. I am upset that they kept me from Shining and what their queen did to him, though.’

‘Oh... Could you ever forgive her?’

‘If you are asking about the peace deal that my husband was on hoof for and gave his support for, yes, I could forgive them for wanting to live peacefully and not having to hunt for their meals.’

‘No. I was asking if you could forgive the queen.’

Cadence takes a deep breath and sighs. ‘Well, I am the princess of love. There must be some love in here for her. I could potentially forgive her. Why do you ask?’

‘She stole me, too. She didn’t know it, but she did. We had a fight and made peace, too. I thought I would still be angry every time I thought about it, but it just makes me sad. She is very lonely. I... want to be her friend, if just to tell her it will be okay and to hang in there... Hang in there, Full Moon.’

Cadence swims over and hugs the young mare. ‘You are a very kind young mare, Rei. You have much more love in you than even I would give you credit for. If the lovely Rei-chan can forgive Chrysalis, so can I.’

Rei looks up and nuzzles Cadence’s cheek. ‘Thank you. That is why we have a holiday for you.’

The princess blushes. ‘You have a holiday for me?’

Rei nods. ‘Celestia Sun Festival in spring. Republic Founders Day in summer. Luna's Eve in autumn. Cadence Times in winter. It is like Hearts and Hooves Day, only it is about you.’

‘That is... I never thought of myself as one would would deserve such a thing.’

‘You do. It is just that Hearts and Hooves was founded long before you were born,’ a new voice states.

The two bathers look over as Luna trots into the bath.

‘I hate to intrude,’ Luna apologizes, ‘but my schedule opened up, and I would like to get started with Rei as soon as possible.’

‘I’m sorry, Ai-hime.’ Rei frowns.

Cadence laughs. ‘It is okay. You two go have fun.’

Rei gets out of the bath, and Luna helps dry her off.

‘Rei, don’t forget to get plenty of sleep for our plans tomorrow,’ Cadence reminds.

‘Plans? What plans?’ Luna asks.

The two younger mares giggle. ‘Top secret,’ they reply in unison.

Luna leads Rei into her laboratory. They are followed by one of Luna’s guards, a bat pony with an eyepatch. Rei keeps looking at the stoic stallion.

‘You might be wondering why I asked Sunshine to join us,’ Luna says. Rei nods. ‘I asked him here to help with your training. Your skill with producing your electrical bursts...’

‘Thunder Shot.’

Luna raises an eyebrow. Rei smiles.

‘Right. Your skill with your Thunder Shot is quite impressive. Instead of developing a stronger variant, of which I am sure you have several in mind already,’ -- Rei giggles -- ‘we are going to be working on controlling what you know already. Sunshine has agreed to allow himself to be a target for you to practice your speed and accuracy. I must warn you, he is quite fast.’

Rei giggles. ‘I know. I’ve talked with Applejack.’

Sunshine blushes and coughs. ‘She and I, uh, we haven’t, um...’

Rei giggles again.

Luna groans, ‘Anyway, are there any questions before we begin?’

‘Just one.’ Rei turns to Sunshine. ‘How did you get the eyepatch?’

Sunshine stands over the small pegasus. ‘You really want to know?’

Rei nods.

Sunshine leans down and pushes his face close. ‘Are you sure? It is quite horrifying. A tale of great discomfort. One nopony was able to hear without screaming in terror. Even my brother quakes at the mere thought of what happened. Are you brave enough to dare hear one word of this tale of woe?’

Rei nervously nods her head. Luna rolls her eyes.

Sunshine leans close. He puts a hoof to his eyepatch and quickly shifts it to the other eye. ‘I just moved it this morning.’

Rei stares into Sunshine’s uncovered, perfectly-fine eye. The bat pony blinks before returning the eyepatch to his previously covered eye. He trots to a position by the door.

Luna groans. ‘He claims it helps his night vision if he changes which eye is covered depending on the lighting situation.’ She moves close to Rei and whispers. ‘I think he just does it to look dangerous to the ladies.’

‘I heard that!’ Sunshine grumbles.

‘Right. And bat ponies have sensitive hearing, similar to pegasi’s sensitive smelling.’

‘Oh. Okay.’

Rei makes a series of mouth movements without making a sound. Sunshine replies similarly. Both ponies laugh.

Luna growls. ‘You forget I am a princess, and I can hear you.’

The jokesters tense up and looks down.

The princess lets out a loud sigh. ‘Shall we finally begin?’

Celestia lets out a large snort as she rolls over in bed. Her mane is disheveled. Several of her feathers are misaligned. Most of her head rests in a large puddle of drool. In other words, she is perfectly comfortable. A small disturbance at the foot of her bed causes her to look up slightly.

‘Sunshine! Sunshine! Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!’

The half-asleep princess stares at the two rumps in her face. One is pink. The other is white. She groans and looks out the window.

‘The sun has barely come up,’ Celestia moans. ‘How can you have that much energy already?’

‘Come on, Aunt Celestia,’ Cadence teases, as she hops from the bed. ‘You can get an early start one of these mornings.’

‘Besides, you’re almost sleeping in a lake,’ Rei points out.

The two young mares giggle and gallop from the room.

‘Get back here so I can banish you to the moon,’ Celestia groans.

Night Light is grading a stack of papers when there is a knock on his office door.

‘It is open,’ the unicorn mumbles.

Another professor sticks her head in. ‘Your daughter-in-law and granddaughter are out there to see you.’

‘Granddaughter?’ Night Light shakes off the confusing thought. ‘Whatever. Just send them in.’

‘No, um, they wanted me to tell you they are out there.’ The mare points at the window.

‘I’m on the second story. How can they..?’

Night Light uses his magic to lift the blinds covering his windows. Flying outside, Cadence and Rei are making faces at the stallion. He takes a deep breath, lowers the blinds and goes back to work.

Laughter fills a cafe. Twilight Velvet has to catch her breath after hearing the story she was just told. Rei and Cadence have to contain their laughter as well.

‘And you actually told them you were my granddaughter?’ Twilight Velvet chortles.

‘Yep.’ Rei nods enthusiastically.

‘I think you are getting a little ahead of yourself, but I cannot wait to hear him explain what he thought about that.’

‘If I wasn’t ready to handle a confused phone call or two, I wouldn’t have let her say it,’ Cadence replies.

‘Still, even though it was a joke,’ Twilight Velvet notes, ‘the thought of being a grandmother...’

Cadence groans and hangs her head.

‘I am sure they are trying every night,’ Rei assures, patting the princess on the back.

‘Thanks, Rei,’ Cadence grumbles.

Twilight Velvet laughs at the two younger mares as she goes back to her meal.

After the early awakening this morning, Celestia is treating herself to an early bath. She is soaking up to her head in the bathhouse. An open bottle of wine floats by, encouraging the princess to pour herself another glass. Right as the princess raises the the drink to her lips, a pony leaps out of the water behind her.

‘BWAH!’ Rei roars as loud as she can.

Celestia finishes her sip, sits up and looks down at the smaller pony. ‘Nice try, Rei, but I play that same prank on your mother every time I find her in here. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to tri...’

‘BWAH!’ Cadence roars as she bursts from the water behind her aunt.

‘BWAH!’ Celestia shouts back as she falls over into the bath.

The two young mares laugh at the successful prank. Rei catches the bottle of wine, but it is magically yanked from her as Celestia emerges from the bath and storms out of the bathhouse, slipping a little on the tile and drinking straight from the bottle.

Rei trot into Luna’s laboratory. She frowns when she does not see Sunshine with the waiting princess.

‘No Sunshine,’ Rei pouts.

‘Correct. We are not doing any more combat training of that sort,’ Luna replies.

‘Awww!’

‘Instead, we will be doing a different sort of combat training.’

Rei’s eyes go wide and her wings flare in excitement.

‘Now, Rei, do you remember how you were able to change your electrical field so that the light reflected from you made it appear as though we were identically colored?’

Rei focuses and her colors slowly appear to match Luna’s. ‘Maybe.’

Luna laughs. ‘Right. That is being done while keeping the field around your whole body. What if you could focus it so that you had a meter diameter circle of charge a few centimeters from your body?’

‘You mean a Plasma Shield!? That would be so cool!’

‘Indeed it would be. I believe you subconsciously create such a barrier with your Plasma Buster, thus you don’t get injured from the radiation or the charged particles.’

‘Oh. I already have a “plasma” move... Ah! Photon Shield! OH! Photonic Deflector!’

Luna laughs at the naming process. ‘It is good to see you still so enthusiastic.’

‘I’m having a lot of fun. I don’t want this to end, unless Inkie needs me for whatever reason.’

‘You really are a sweet young mare.’

Rei blushes. ‘I guess...’

‘We can take the night off if you want.’

Rei shakes her head. ‘No. I want to learn all I can. Then, I can be as cool as you are.’

Luna smiles at the young mare. ‘We really are lucky to know you, Rei.’

Rei blushes and kicks at the floor.

‘Ready?’

Rei nods. Luna laughs and starts levitating the electrodes.

Celestia trots through the back halls of the palace. She stops at a set of massive double doors. The unicorn guards salute and magically open the doors. Fanfare plays as the princess enters a chamber filled with ponies of all ages and tribes. All of the ponies stand and bow as Celestia makes her way to a large, decorated chair and sits. She bows to the assembled ponies.

‘Greetings. Thank you all for coming,’ Celestia says, but her voice sounds artificially modulated.

The gathered ponies murmur in confusion.

‘Let’s try that again,’ the princess mumbles. She clears her throat. ‘Greetings!’ Again, her voice sounds modulated. ‘Excuse me.’ Her apology is modulated. ‘I’m not doing this intentionally. Somepony is... I am sorry. Will whoever is doing that knock it off!’

The modulated ‘off’ echos around the hall. Celestia stands and scans everypony present. She screams, which is, again, beautifully modulated.
…

‘... And give a little - EEP!’ Cadence squeals, her tail falling down her back.

The young princess stares at her doorway, her rump facing her laptop monitor again. A very embarrassed Shining Armor ducks from his monitor. Celestia unceremoniously drops two ponies with white coats and light blue manes, one a unicorn, the other a pegasus, and a royally-smashed portable auto-tuner in the middle of her niece’s suite.

‘They are thy problem!’ the furious princess shouts before stomping away, giving the royal masons an excuse to install a new hallway.

‘Ohayo, Ai-hime!’ Rei greets.

‘Sup,’ Vinyl Scratch adds. ‘Remember me? I played your wedding.’

Cadence laughs nervously as she tries to make herself presentable.

Rei and Luna sit in the middle of the laboratory working on their breathing exercises. Rei looks up at Luna. The princess seems locked in a state of serene grace.

‘Luna-sama? What are we doing tonight?’

Luna snorts and looks around. ‘I wasn’t sleeping,’ she replies, yawning.

Rei giggles. ‘You’re funny.’ She jumps up. ‘So, what are we doing tonight? More combat? Or are we going to do stealth and defence?’

‘Actually, I would like you to sit beside me.’

Rei sits. ‘Okay... Is this going to be some sort of test? Is Sunshine going to drop from the ceiling, and I have to save us in time?’

Luna laughs. ‘Far from it. In fact, just the opposite.’

‘I have to jump to the ceiling and attack him?’

‘Not that either,’ Luna laughs. ‘I just want to spend some time with you. That is all.’

‘Oh. Then we will be back to training tomorrow?’

‘I think you are done with your training.’ The young mare moans in response. ‘Don’t feel down. You have shown remarkable control and exceptional skill with powers you had barely passive control over just a week ago. I am certain you will benefit from developing your power more on your own. It might best if you practice someplace a safe distance away from a large number of ponies, like in the Everfree Forest.’ She leans down and whispers, ‘Also, sister has gotten quite frustrated with your constant pranks. Your father would be proud.’

Rei giggles. She hugs Luna. ‘You’re the best, Luna-sama.’

Luna returns the hug. ‘You are a great young mare, Rei. The time we spend together always brings me such joy.’

‘Helios and Alba are lucky to have you as their mommy. I was lucky for all the time we got to spend together then. I am lucky that we get to spend together now.’

‘I really wish I were there for you when you were younger. It sounded like you had a tough foalhood.’

Rei groans and buries her muzzle in Luna’s chest. ‘Not having a family is nothing compared to be banished for a thousand years, but having you and daddy and mommy and Inkie and Stormy...’

‘Shh. I know how you feel.’

Rei smiles up at her mentor, then buries her face in Luna’s coat again.

‘Rei...’

‘Hai?’

‘I do believe the Festival of Cakes is in town. We could spend the rest of the evening there. Sister and Amy have both been banned.’

Rei giggles. ‘Can we invite Cadence too?’

‘I... believe she wants to spend the night with her husband, even if it is over broadband.’

Rei giggles again. ‘She wants to do what daddy is probably doing with Twilight right now.’

Luna grimaces. ‘It is going to take a lot of cake to get that image out of my head.’ She sighs and shakes her head. ‘Let me get my disguise from my room, and we will be on our way.’

‘Ooo! I want to do that too!’

Rei closes her eyes and focuses. The air around her shimmers, and her colors change to match Luna’s. The princess laughs and ruffles the young mare’s hair as they trot from the room.

James looks at his mobile as he stands on the platform in Ponyville train station. The arriving train blows its whistle and opens its doors.

‘Three, two, one...’

‘Daddy!’

‘Now!’

James steps aside right in time to dodge a hug from Rei, sending her right into the waiting forelegs of Inkie. Rei gives her fillyfriend a big kiss.

‘You’re much better than daddy.’

‘Good to see you, too,’ James laughs. ‘Now, get your bags and...’

‘No need, Mr Wanderer. I am happy to help.’

James turns to see Cadence step off the train. She levitates Rei’s saddlebags to the young mare.

‘Arigato, Ai-hime!’

‘Thank you for coming this far,’ James says with a bow.

‘It is no problem,’ Cadence replies. ‘Rei is such a sweet young mare. It was the least I could do.’

‘It is much appreciated.’ James pulls the princess aside. ‘Do you have any pictures of your husband’s flank that I may borrow? I need one for, uh, science.’

‘Daddy!’

‘Oh! I should have a spare,’ Cadence replies as she starts digging through a saddlebag. ‘Never leave home without one.’

‘Princess!’

‘Oh, shush,’ Cadence snorts. ‘Like you don’t have a dozen such pics of your filylfriend on your mobile.’

‘Rei...’

Rei blushes. ‘I love you, Inkie-chan.’

Inkie glares and shakes her head. Another pony trots onto the platform.

‘James, are you about... Cadence!’ Twilight gasps.

‘Found it!’

James snatches the photo and gives it a big kiss. ‘Oh, sweet Shining’s flank.’ He tenses up and turns to Twilight. ‘Nothing!’

The younger princess growls, takes the picture away with her magic and shreds it. ‘We’re going to have a talk about this later.’

James groans.

‘You too, Cadence.’

Cadence groans. The train whistle sounds again. The older princess bows to the others and boards the train. Everypony waves as it pulls away from the station.

‘So, Rei,’ Twilight begins as she turns to the young mare, ‘I heard you learned to control your powers more. What sort of things did you learn?’

The young mare grins widely as the air around her shimmers.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Rei learns to control her powers. First full appearance of Sunshine Bat, captain of the Lunar Guard and Applejack's coltfriend 'after' TWP.

Fun Fact: Like in Pokemon, all of Rei's Electric/Lightning moves don't have 'electric' or 'lightning' in them.

Family in Motion

Main Characters: Stormy, Blackberry Sorbet
Cameos: Apple Bloom, Rarity, TWP, Lucas
Original Start Date: October 10, 2012 (Hey! That’s the anniversary of the show!)

CANTERLOT, Equestria - The results of this year’s National Dessert Competition are in. The winner is a first-time entrant Strawberry Soufflé of Ponyville, age fifteen, student, clerk at Carousel Boutique and freelance baker at Sugarcube Corner. His entry deliciously combined two layers of sponge cake, joined together with eclair filling, shaped to look like a pie and filled with raspberry tart filling. The treat was topped with fresh mousse and cherries. After judging, Princess Celestia claimed the treat for herself saying it was for ‘national security’. Fortunately, Mr Soufflé brought several to share.
When asked about the treat, Mr Soufflé responded that is was the combination of several recipes from his mother’s old notebooks, the memory of whom he dedicated his victory to. He added that several of the ingredients were ‘out of this world’ and thanked his mentor, The Wandering Physicist, for helping him acquire them. I tried to ask The Wandering Physicist what those ingredients were and how to acquire them, but he was too busy arguing with a purple unicorn at an eclair booth run by the famous griffin pastry chef Gustave le Grand about whether or not he had had enough eclairs. Having sampled Gustave’s delights for myself, this reporter can calmly state that, no, you cannot have enough eclairs.

A dark purple unicorn with a leafy green mane steps off the train at Ponyville station. The new unicorn trots through the crowds at the station and heads into the town. The stationside marketplace is full of ponies going about their daily business. The streets are extra-crowded with weekend shoppers.

The unicorn approaches the stall with the least customers and asks, ‘Excuse me, do you know where I can find..?’

‘Yer here t’ buy some apples?’ a bored-looking yellow filly sighs.

‘Actually, I was hoping to get some directions.’

‘Ugh,’ Apple Bloom groans. ‘Fine. Where’re ya headed?’

‘I’m looking for Carousel Boutique.’

‘Down past the market a bit,’ Apple Bloom replies, pointing towards the shop. ‘Take a left and it is hard t’ miss. Tell Sweetie Belle Ah said “hi” and t’ come save me.’

The unicorn laughs. ‘Thanks for the help. Here’s a tip for your trouble.’

The unicorn tosses a coin on the counter and starts trotting away.

‘Wait! Don’ ya want an apple fer your coin?’

‘If you insist, young filly,’ the unicorn laughs.

He levitates the fruit from a basket and continues on his way.

The dark purple unicorn trots up to Carousel Boutique and deposits the core of his delicious apple in a nearby bin. He takes a deep breath and presses forward. An extremely bored Stormy looks up from his hoofheld game.

‘Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique,’ the younger unicorn greets. He leans back towards a workroom. ‘I keep telling you. Whenever I say it, it just sounds lame.’

‘Oh, shush,’ Rarity scolds as she trots out to the lobby. She smiles warmly at her guest. ‘How may I help you?’

‘Uh, actually, I think I am here for him,’ the older unicorn replies. ‘Are you Strawberry?’

Stormy groans. ‘If you are here from my mom’s side of the family, I am sorry that I haven’t gotten back to you recently, but it is still too difficult for me to move on. If you are here from my dad’s side, then I know where you should stick your horn as I kick you out. Otherwise, can’t talk. Working.’ The younger unicorn lifts his hoofheld game.

‘Don’t be like that,’ Rarity scolds, getting a groan for her efforts. ‘Though I can agree with your feelings towards your father’s family. Facing Nightmare Moon again would be preferable to having to deal with them again.’

The visiting unicorn clears his throat. ‘Actually, I am from Strawberry’s father’s side.’ The two other unicorns grimace. ‘My name is Blackberry Sorbet. Truth be told, I think I am his real father.’

The other unicorns stare at Blackberry in shock. Both hosts pull the fainting couch over in time for Rarity to collapse.

‘Well, damn,’ is the best comment Stormy can come up with. After a few moments to let the shock sink in, he asks, ‘Do you have any proof?’

‘You are named after the first pony your mother ever loved,’ Blackberry replies.

Stormy shrugs. ‘Good enough for me.’ He gets up from his post. ‘Let’s go to the back. I can make some coffee. We have some pretty good blends.’ He stops by Rarity’s couch. ‘I’m on break. You can join us when you are through here.’

‘Will do,’ Rarity replies before going back to swooning.

Stormy motions for Blackberry to follow, and they head to the back. Another visitor enters the shop.

‘Can’t talk. Busy swooning,’ Rarity tells the guest.

The patron groans and leaves the shop.
…

Stormy sits with Blackberry in Rarity’s kitchen. Both are nervous about what to say or do next.

‘So, um, Strawberry...’ Blackberry begins.

‘Call me “Stormy”. Everypony does.’

‘Okay. Um, Stormy...’

‘How did you know my mom?’

Blackberry frowns. ‘We dated back in Fillydelphia. All through school. But then I got a job offer for my talent in Appleanta. It was devastating to leave her. Believe it or not, I am not a baker like both of you. I own a company that makes hardware for mobile phones.’

Stormy groans. ‘That is a horrible joke.’

Blackberry laughs. ‘Although your sister would get along great with you. Her talent is making ice cream. I can’t think of any better combination.’

Stormy freezes. ‘I have a sister?’

‘Yep. Little Lemon. I am sure she would love to meet you someday.’ The older unicorn winces. ‘Though she will be pissed at me for a while.’

‘Why is that?’

‘I just realized I am going to have to talk with my lawyers about drawing up a new will...’

‘Hey, don’t worry about that yet. We don’t even know for sure if I am really your son... dad.’ Stormy laughs at the title.

Blackberry smiles. ‘I would really like to think that I am. After reading about your accomplishment at the dessert competition, one would have to be a real bastard not to want you as a son.’

‘Yeah... He was...’

‘What?’

‘Oh. Just thinking about the jerk mom was with when she got here. He was a real ass.’ Stormy points to the scar on his horn. ‘He’s the one that did this.’

‘Whoa. Just noticed that.’ Blackberry laughs. ‘Actually, it makes you look more like your mother. Please don’t take it the wrong way, but you two are almost identical. The mane. The coat. You’re both very slender.’

‘Well, to be fair, in her case most of that was the cancer.’

Blackberry gasps. ‘Are you sure that is something you should be joking about?’

Stormy closes his eyes and shakes his head. ‘Making a dark joke or two is the only way I keep from crying most days... It has been almost eleven years... I can never get over losing her. It was right on Hearths Warming Eve, too. I hate that day!’

‘I am so sorry to hear that. I know we have only just met, but you can spend it with us if you want.’

‘I might. I tried last year with mom’s family. Just too many memories. I’m not ready yet.’ Stormy takes a deep breath and shrugs. ‘Although, I did tell Trixie I wouldn’t mind spending it with her.’

‘Was that..?’

‘Oh, no. Trixie is far better looking.’ Stormy’s magic comes to life in time to stop a thrown fainting couch from hitting his head. ‘Rarity is great, though. She is like a big sister to me. She and Sweetie Belle are like family.’

‘It is good to hear you have somepony nice to take care of you.’

Stormy laughs. ‘Yeah... Really lucked out.’

‘Is, um, Trixie in town? I would like to meet her.’

‘You said you’re in Appleanta?’ Blackberry nods in reply. Stormy looks up, and his eyes dart as he crunches numbers in his head. ‘Three weeks. She’ll be there again. I’ll have her send you tickets to her show. You’ll love it.’

‘I thought I recognized that name! Lemon has a giant poster of her.’

‘Want it signed?’

Blackberry laughs. ‘I just might. Anyway, can I take you and Miss Rarity out for a meal while I am in town?’

‘Did you see a pink ball of cotton candy seemingly following you through town?’

‘Yeah?’

Stormy nods. ‘Then it is getting taken care of.’ He stands. ‘Rarity! Tell her that he is my dad! It will freak her out.’

‘On it!’ Rarity shouts back.

Stormy motions to the door. ‘Anyway, we have time while Pinkie sets up. I’ll show you around a bit.’

Stormy and Blackberry trot up to The Power Block. The younger unicorn holds the door open for the older then leads him up to the counter. Blackberry looks over the stallion across from him, who is currently absorbed in a hoofheld game.

‘Strawberry?’ Blackberry asks.

‘Yes?’ James and Stormy reply at the same time.

‘D’oh! We did it again,’ James grunts.

‘Right,’ Stormy huffs. ‘Anyway, Mr Wanderer, this is...’

‘How did you know that name?’ James asks. ‘I don’t think I met you yet, but I am terrible with faces. Right, Bob?’

‘Talking to me or Lucas?’ Stormy wonders.

‘Does it have to matter for the joke to be funny?’

‘Are they ever funny?’ Lucas sighs.

‘You’re fired.’

Blackberry clears his throat. ‘Since you asked, Raspberry showed me sketches of some pony that looks just like you.’

‘Page three, book seven,’ James states.

Stormy shudders. ‘Right.’

‘Wait. Did you say Raspberry?’

‘I did,’ Blackberry replies. ‘I am Blackberry Sorbet. I believe I am Stormy’s father.’

‘Blackberry Sorbet? As in...’ The unicorn nods in reply. ‘Your choice in capacitors sucks. They start losing efficiency after fifteen thousand charge-discharge cycles.’

‘How can you...’

‘Also, your magical protection is third-rate at best,’ Lucas comments. ‘I had to replace my logic board after using my mobile in bed and got... a fluid all over it.’

‘Dude. That’s gross.’ Stormy grimaces.

‘Oh, Lucas is just trying not to say he enjoys a good Tentacle Grape now and again.’

Stormy snorts in laughter.

Lucas groans. ‘Don’t remove the “g” and don’t say it like that. Rei will find out and’ -- his mobile buzzes -- ‘and tease me... Damn it.’

‘And Rei is..?’ Blackberry asks.

‘She is my best friend. You’ll meet her at the party.’

‘Anyway, Mister Blackberry, say “aah”. We’re going to see if you really are Stormy’s father.’ James holds his sonic out.

‘What is that? What is it for?’ Blackberry asks as he warily bites the end of the device.

‘It is a sonic screwdriver, and I am using it to take a genetic scan of you.’ James laughs. ‘Also, I wanted to see if somepony who worked QA could trick a billionaire industrialist into putting some random object in his mouth.’

‘Billionaire?!’ Stormy gapes. ‘Yeah, uh, remember what I said about the will? Forget it. I don’t mind.’

Blackberry laughs and ruffles Stormy’s mane.

James’ mobile beeps, and he checks it. He lets out a sigh. ‘You want to tell him or shall I?’ he asks his assistant.

Lucas checks the mobile, swears and slams his head into the counter. ‘Of course he is a billionaire’s son too! Anypony needs me, I’ll be in the back.’

The upset unicorn grumbles to himself and trots away, straight into the 18+ section. He stomps back out.

‘That is not what I meant!’ Lucas shouts before heading into the back offices.

Blackberry turns to James. ‘Are you sure about that?’

James adjusts his glasses. ‘Well, there might be a few nucleotides out of place, but that is to be expected.’

‘Huh,’ Blackberry laughs. He turns to his son. ‘So, uh, what do you say?’

‘Told ya, dad.’

‘Now, hug,’ James demands.

‘You’re not putting this on your blog,’ Stormy grumbles.

‘Of course not. That’s why I’ve been livestreaming this whole time.’

Stormy groans and hangs his head. ‘I am so glad he is my father and not you.’

Stormy waits with his father at the train station. The ‘surprise’ party in Blackberry’s honor was a success. Everypony was so excited to meet the new stallion and learn all about him. Rarity fainted again when she learned her apprentice was the son of a billionaire. Unfortunately, Blackberry could not stay for long and had to catch the next train back to Appleanta. The two unicorns stand silently, still uneasy talking with each other.

‘So, uh...’ Blackberry mumbles.

‘Yeah...’

‘Geez. Put me in a room with a dozen techs, and I can talk code for hours. I can have a boardroom bowing as if Celestia herself just walked in, but I can’t figure out the right way to say “goodbye” to my son.’

‘First time’s the hardest. … What? I’m not good with words.’

Blackberry laughs. ‘It is fine. You have wonderful friends to do the talking for you. … And to tear down all of my products one by one, piece by piece.’

‘I could have warned you about Mr Wanderer and Inkie and Twilight and Fluttershy, but that wouldn’t have been fun.’

‘Right... At least I know, in excruciating detail, which OS to back now.’

‘Don’t forget all of Image’s case and desktop designs.’

‘For a baker, you know a lot of nerds.’

‘Jealous much?’

Blackberry laughs and ruffles his son’s mane. A train whistle sounds in the distance.

‘Hey, how about next time I bring your sister?’ the older unicorn offers. ‘Let you two get to know each other.’

Stormy stares into space and takes a deep breath. ‘I still can’t get over the idea of having a little sister.’

‘You and, uh, Sweetie Belle get along fine. I am sure you and Lemon will get along just as well.’

The train pulls into the station with a cloud of steam. Once the vehicle is stopped, the passengers start shuffling between the cars and the station. Stormy escorts his father to his car.

‘Next time you have time, we can have a picnic with mom,’ Stormy says.

Blackberry smiles and forces back tears. ‘That would be great.’ He takes a breath. ‘Well, it was great meeting you, Stormy. I really hope we can get to know each other better.’ He extends a hoof.

Stormy pushes the hoof aside and hugs his father. ‘We’re family. We hug.’

‘That we do,’ Blackberry replies, crying into his son’s mane.

Both stallions compose themselves. Blackberry boards the train and gives his son one last wave before finding his seat. Stormy waves back and trots back into town with a happy smile on his face.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Stormy reconnects with his real father.

This Day in Ponyville

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, Del
Cameos: Rei, Spike, The Cakes, Stormy, CMC, Cheerilee, Diamond Tiara, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy
Original Start Date: October 14, 2012

James yawns as he trots out of his room. He bumps into Rei, who is standing in the middle of the hall.

‘Shouldn’t you be at school?’

Rei points in front of her. A small changeling, about the size of a foal, is sitting in the entryway staring at the two ponies. James shouts and jumps back. The changeling turns it head and blinks. It has a rolled piece of paper in one of the cavities on its foreleg.

‘How fast can you get that paper for me?’ James asks.

There is a brief gust of wind, and Rei has the paper in her mouth.

‘Excellent. For this, I’ll ignore the fact you killed the bandwidth last night downloading all that hentai. Now get to school. I’ll take care of this.’

Rei nods and edges around the changeling. The creature watches the young mare leave before turning its attention to James. The nervous stallion unrolls the paper.
Dear future dinner Princess Celestia,
In hopes of better understanding your puny culture as part of our new peace agreement, I have sent this newly hatched changeling to study pony society. Please show her the best pony culture can offer as well as any hidden bases and military plans. I hope with her help our two cultures can reach an understanding.
Drawing up a menu, Peacefully,
QUEEN Chrysalis
PS: Those were jokes! Don’t take everything so seriously.

James lowers the paper and looks at the changeling. She yawns, exposing her fangs. A bright blue sticky note falls from Chrysalis’ letter.
She’s your problem now
-Princess Celestia :P

James groans and sets the papers aside. He stares at the the changeling. She stares back with large green eyes. Her wings beat slightly against her dark blue chitin.

‘So, uh, hi?’ James greets.

The changeling stares back blankly.

‘Do you have a name? Uh, something to call you?’

The changeling blinks. It turns its head slightly.

‘I’d ask if you are hungry, but I am scared of that answer.’

‘We have no name.’

‘What?’

‘My queen said she found us in a den shortly before we were sent on this important mission. She said we were the only survivor and had no brood mates.’

‘That is tragic.’

The changeling just blinks and beats her wings a bit.

‘Well, how about we come up with a name for you, eh?’ James starts thinking. ‘Let’s see. Changeling names. Ditto is too obvious. So is Mimic. Transformo?’ He shakes his head. ‘That sounds like something DC would come up with. Think TWP! Think! What is the universal symbol for change? … A delta for the change operator. Or an upside-down delta for a gradient. Or a square delta for a d’Alembertian.’ He shudders. ‘d’Alembertian.’

‘Del likes Del.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Del likes Del. Del wants Del to be Del’s name.’

‘Well, at least you stopped using plural pronouns.’

‘What are pronouns?’

‘Oh geez.’

Del frowns. ‘Del was not given much education before this journey.’

‘We’re going to have to do something about that. Cheerilee is going to love having you in class... Uh... Come on. There is somepony I need to talk to.’

James starts leaving with Del behind him, but he stops.

‘Can you do something about your appearance? We don’t want to scare everypony.’

James trots through Ponyville with a dark blue pegasus filly with a red mane trotting beside him. The unusual sight would seem out of place if not for the pony involved. The stallion calmly greets his friends as he passes through the town.

‘How did you even get in without scaring Lucas?’ James asks.

‘Del slept behind the store last night. Del slipped in when grey pony was cleaning up this morning.’

‘I am sorry you had to sleep out there. The princess could have sent some warning that you were coming.’

‘Loud Princess wanted to send you a message, but Touchy Princess said it would be funny not to. Del was told to fly here right away yesterday.’

‘You flew from Canterlot overnight? You must be a tough one.’

Del frowns. ‘Del had to do a lot of travelling on her own. She hid on a ship from Neighpon, in trains from Los Arion and ate only scraps she could find. Del is very hungry.’

James frowns. He stops and hugs the filly.

‘What are you doing?’ Del asks.

‘Giving you love. This is your favorite food, right?’

Del pushes free. ‘Strange pony doesn’t know much about changelings?’

‘I guess we are going to have to learn from each other. And call me James or Mr Wanderer or something. You are worse than Rei with the nicknames.’

‘Rei is Full Moon pony, right?’

‘And my daughter so don’t get any funny ideas.’

‘Del’s queen said that Full Moon was the nicest pony, and Del should be friends with her. Is that okay?’

‘Very okay. Rei will love it. Oh. We’re here.’

James stops outside of Golden Oaks Library and knocks on the door. The door opens and Twilight looks out.

‘Not like you to actually knock,’ Twilight comments as she shows her guests inside.

‘Twilight, we have a bit of a thing. Get any letters from Touchy Princess recently?’

‘Touchy Princess?’ James grins in reply. Twilight groans. ‘Derpy hasn’t been by yet, and Spike has been cleaning all day. Why?’

‘Uh... Let’s go somewhere private to talk.’

Twilight sighs and leads her guests to her laboratory. Del flinches at the sight of the lab equipment, but she realizes it is safe and follows. The three ponies sit in the middle of the laboratory.

‘So, what is going on? Who is she?’ Twilight asks.

James looks down. ‘Del, it is safe. She is a friend.’

Del nods and drops her disguise. The changeling beats her wings a bit as she stares up at Twilight. The princess stares back, not knowing how to react.

‘James, is that...?’

‘Twilight, this is Del. Del, this is Twilight Sparkle. She is a very good friend.’ He leans down and whispers. ‘She is the Sexy Princess.’

Del bows. ‘Del is honored to meet Sparkly Twilight.’

‘N-nice to meet you too, Del.’

James gets out the letters from Chrysalis and Celestia. ‘These explain everything. I think she is getting me back for last week when I convinced her to publicly support gay rights.’

Twilight takes the letters. ‘That was eight hundred years...’ She groans and starts reading. ‘Time machine. Right.’

‘You know she is free and easy. She just needed a push to get going. Although arguing in the shower might not have been the best idea, seeing how free and easy she is.’

‘Princess Celestia is not like that, and what do you mean “in the shower”?’

‘It doesn’t matter who walked into whose shower and which princess locked him in there with her dripping wet body after a three-hour argument. What matters is that we have a Del to care for now.’

Twilight groans. ‘I still think this is some bad joke of yours.’

There is a knock on the laboratory door. James signals Del to disguise herself. The changeling casts her spell before Twilight opens the door for Spike.

‘A letter from the princess just arrived,’ the dragon announces. ‘It says to read it when... Oh. You’re here.’

‘Sup, homeslice?’ James greets.

‘Hey, Mr Wanderer. Who is that?’

‘Spike, this is Del. I believe the letter is about her.’

Del sniffs. ‘Spike has a lot of love within him.’

‘Who told you! Twilight?’

‘I didn’t say anything, Spike. Del, uh... That might be Del’s talent. We’re just testing it out.’

Spike groans as he leaves. ‘With you two, you could be blind and see the love from across Equestria.’

The two ponies blush. Del looks between them.

‘Our queen said that Wandering Pony had more love than her husband pony,’ the changeling comments.

‘He’s not her husband!’ Twilight snaps.

‘She really said that?’ James asks.

‘Anyway!’ Twilight interrupts. ‘We have a letter to read.’ She unrolls the scroll. ‘Hear ye, hear ye. By royal decree, Mr James Hayate Wanderer is charged with the care and education of the changeling sent to him last night. Suck it, Princess Celestia. PS: Told you I would get you back for the food fight during the peace talks with the Griffin Kingdom.’

The princess lowers the scroll and groans at her mentor’s and coltfriend’s behaviours.

‘Hey. I didn’t do any food fight yet,’ James defends.

‘Yet,’ Twilight snorts.

Del lets out a groan and drops to the ground.

‘Sorry,’ James apologizes. ‘We have to get to lunch.’

‘How can you think of eating when we have a situation like this?’

‘Listen,’ James starts. ‘Get the gang together. We’ll explain it to them. With their help, we can help keep Del’s cover and fulfil the task Chrysalis asked of us.’

‘Is it wise listening to her?’

‘I think her husband will agree.’

‘They are not married!’

‘Then he is single? Score!’

Twilight growls. ‘Just get her fed. I’ll call the others, and we can introduce her to everypony later.’

‘Sounds like a plan. What do we say, Del?’

‘Feed me,’ the hungry filly moans.

‘Close enough,’ James laughs as he trots out of the laboratory.

Twilight sighs and gets out her mobile.

James sets Del at a table in Sugarcube Corner. The filly slumps over. Her nose twitches, and she looks around for the source of the wonderful smells.

‘So, what do changelings eat that isn’t love?’

‘Del does not know. Del has mostly eaten leftovers except at the castle.’

‘Don’t know, huh? Let’s start you on the basics and work up from there.’

James trots over to the counter. Cup Cake smiles at his approach.

‘How can I help you, Mr Wanderer?’

‘Two danishes and Pinkie’s location.’

‘Oh, Pinkie is out with her sister today. They were going to be putting on a party for the local science club.’

‘Okay... Cool... Just gauging time to see when we are needed back.’

‘Does it have to do with the young filly you are with?’

‘Yeah. I am looking after her for a friend. Anyway, our lunch?’

‘Oh! Sorry. Coming right up!’

Cup Cake trots to the back and quickly returns with two danishes. James drops the payment on the counter and takes the treats back to the table.

‘I hope you like these, Del. They are some of my favorite treats.’

Del tentatively sniffs the pastry. She takes a small bite. Her face lights up and she devours the danish.

‘More!’ the filly demands.

James laughs and looks up. ‘Cup Cake, can we get another? Oh! And how about one of your namesakes, too?’

The baker nods and goes to get the pastries. Del drools as she watches her host calmly eat. Cup Cake returns with the treats and sets them in front of Del. The filly leans forward and sniffs the cupcake. A dab of frosting gets on her nose.

‘What is this?’ Del asks.

‘It is a cupcake,’ Cup Cake laughs. ‘You don’t know what a cupcake is, cutie?’

‘She was a little sheltered before coming to Ponyville,’ James explains. ‘A lot of things are new to her.’

Del bites the cupcake in half, wrapper and all. Her eyes go wide in amazement.

‘Del wants more of these!’

The two adults laugh as the filly cleans her plate of the pastries.

‘And you thought that I would pay for only one of your kids to go to college with just Rei,’ James quips. ‘Let’s keep the treats coming. And tell Carrot he’s going to have to work overtime. Del is pretty hungry.’

Cup Cake nods as she tries wrestling the plate from Del as the filly licks it clean.
…

James drags Del out of Sugarcube Corner by the scruff of her neck. The filly screams and tries flying back into the store.

‘No! Del wants more! Del must eat all the pastries!’

‘It is good to know you have a sweet tooth, but we have other things to do today,’ the stallion grumbles.

‘Not to mention, we need time to restock,’ Cup Cake adds as she tries blocking the door.

Carrot Cake trots from the back of the the shop and looks at the scene.

‘So that is the filly with the bottomless stomach,’ the baker jokes.

‘She almost makes Pinkie look tame by comparison,’ Cup Cake moans.

‘And is nearly as unstoppable, too,’ James growls.

‘Well, I just put a new batch of... everything in the ovens,’ Carrot Cake says. ‘It will take a while to bake but if you behave and come back later, there might be a special treat for you.’

The filly lights up. ‘Del wants her treat now!’

‘You’re going to have to behave for Mr Wanderer first,’ Carrot Cake repeats. ‘Only good ponies get treats.’

Del stops struggling. ‘Del will be the best pony ever!’

‘Good. See you later, Del, Mr Wanderer.’

The Cakes turn to go back inside. James points to the ground. Del plants herself. The stallion follows the Cakes inside.

‘Hey, just want to say thanks,’ James says. ‘Everypony tells me that I am good with Rei, but the twins are lucky to have good parents like you, too.’

The Cakes laugh.

‘When you come back later, we’ll tell you all of the tricks we learned for dealing with Pinkie,’ Carrot Cake offers.

‘Thanks, bro. Oh. I left you a bit of an extra tip. Just enough for that new television you wanted.’

The Cakes stare in shock as James trots back out, scoops Del onto his back and trots down the street. The Cakes quickly start counting out the bag of bits James left them.

James and Del trot up to Carousel Boutique. Inside, Stormy is sitting at the main counter while listening to music and playing a hoofheld game. He turns down his music when he sees the visitors.

‘Hey, Mr Wanderer,’ the unicorn greets. ‘How’s it going?’

‘Shouldn’t you be in school? Where’s Rarity?’

‘She’s out with your wife,’ Stormy jokes. James growls at the young stallion. Stormy groans. ‘And I was given the day off to help take care of Sweetie Belle. She has a small cold.’

‘So you are blasting metal and playing games?’

‘Its the only way to drown out...’

‘STORMY! I NEED JUICE!’

James laughs. ‘You have your work cut out for you.’

‘Anyway, how can I help you?’

‘Well, I wanted Rarity’s help making Del here presentable for Cheerilee. Wanna get her into school.’

Stormy looks down at the filly. ‘Adding a changeling to your collection?’

‘What!?’

James looks down. Del is still in her disguise. She lets out a big yawn, exposing her fangs.

‘Wanderer, Del needs more sugar to stay awake.’

‘STORMY!’ Sweetie shouts as she trots into the room. ‘Where’s my juice!’

‘In the fridge,’ the older unicorn groans.

Sweetie Belle shouts and starts trotting to the kitchen. She stops when she sees Del.

‘Hi! I’m Sweetie Belle,’ the young filly greets.

James pokes Del. ‘What did we practice?’

Del looks up then bows to Sweetie Belle. ‘Del is Del. Nice to meet you, Cutie Belle.’

Sweetie Belle giggles. ‘You’re funny. Wanna get some juice with me since somepony is too rude to help his sick and dying little sister?’

Stormy rolls his eyes. ‘One, you’re not dying. Two, you’re not sick, you just didn’t study for the quiz you had today. Three, you owe me for supporting your truly horrible acting.’

Sweetie Belle growls and turns her nose up. ‘Come on, Del. We don’t need them.’

The two fillies march off together, Del feeling a little confused.

‘So, how’d you know?’ James asks.

‘Well, I am great and powerful,’ Stormy replies, smirking.

‘Okay. That works on illusions and perception filters, not on...’

‘Did you see the size of her fangs? She does a great job with the disguise but that yawn...’

‘I think she is about to have a sugar crash. If you see the Cakes celebrating, that was all her.’

‘And you plan on feeding her and Rei?’

‘Right. Gotta warn AJ to tell the farmers to work triple time just to keep up.’

Stormy laughs. He holds a hoof to his lips as he thinks. His horn glows, and Del and her juice box are levitated back into the lobby. The filly is too enraptured by her drink to notice the change in scenery.

‘So what sort of manestyle were you thinking for her? I can do most anything.’

‘Just something that says “I am not going to drain your soul”. We’re going for presentable, not conspiracy theory.’

‘Simple enough.’

Stormy levitates a series of combs and starts brushing out Del’s mane. He also gets the filly a new juice box before she can notice the styling in progress.

‘When you write the paper, note that I was the one that came up with the theory,’ Stormy says.

‘What theory?’

‘Love is sugar-flavored. If you can pacify her with cakes and juice...’

‘Hmm. You might be onto something, but one data point...’

‘Yeah, yeah. I know. Finished.’

Stormy sets Del down. She still has not noticed the grooming that took place. Sweetie Belle comes out of the back.

‘There you are,’ the unicorn filly snorts. ‘I thought you had run off.’

‘Del wants more sugar water!’ the filly pegasus shouts as she tosses her empty juice box aside.

‘Maybe later, Del,’ James sighs. ‘We still have more stops to make.’

‘AH!’ the two fillies groan.

‘Del, good ponies listen to their elders.’

‘Well, that explains a lot about Sweetie’s behav.. OW!’

Stormy starts dancing around the room as he tries to remove Sweetie Belle’s teeth from his leg.

Del looks up at James. ‘Del thought ponies don’t eat other ponies.’

The schoolyard is full of foals running home and playing after school. A number stop and greet James as he and Del pass to the schoolhouse. He waits outside while Cheerilee gives Scootaloo and Apple Bloom homework assignments to take to Sweetie Belle. The filles take the papers and head to the door.

‘Hey, Mr Wanderer,’ Scootaloo greets.

‘Hiya, Jimmy!’ Apple Bloom cheers.

‘Hey, girls. Mind if I borrow your teacher for a moment?’ The fillies nod in reply. ‘Del, This is Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. Practice playing nice with them.’

‘Hey, Del.’

‘Nice t’ meet ya.’

James laughs and enters the schoolhouse. Cheerilee cleans up the mess her students left. James helps out.

‘I heard you had a new kid, Mr Wanderer,’ Cheerilee comments.

‘Word travels fast. Anyway, I would like to enroll her. How?’

‘You just need to file the right paperwork with the district and wait for them to approve it. I am happy to take her as soon as she is approved.’

James taps his mobile. ‘Cool. I’ll have Rei drop her off in the morning.’

‘There is no way...’

James looks around nervously. ‘If we may talk in your office?’

Cheerilee sighs. The two adults close all of the doors and windows as well as pulling down the blinds. Once they are finished, Cheerilee turns and snorts at the stallion. James gets out the letter from Chrysalis and shows it to the teacher.

‘As you can see, we are in a bit of a bind. Twilight is going to help me keep her cover around town but if she is to really learn pony culture, she should learn first hoof.’

Cheerilee nods. ‘Sounds like a plan. Let me get her books, and you can get started bringing her up to speed tonight.’

‘That easy?’

‘Mr Wanderer, my talent is bringing joy to all ponies and even non-ponies. Besides, it will be a great challenge to teach a changeling to be more pony.’

‘Just keep your sweets locked up and...’

A shriek comes from outside.

‘Get that monster away from me!’

The two adults gallop outside as fast as they can. Del has her mouth wrapped around Diamond Tiara’s hoof. Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon are trying to pull Del off their classmate. Scootaloo rolls on the ground laughing. The other students still in the area gather to watch. Featherweight flies around the scene, snapping pictures endlessly.

‘Rumble! Help!’ Silver Spoon shouts.

The young colt puts his head down and rams Del off of her prey. The filly licks her lips and chews on something. The others help Diamond Tiara up. The filly stares at a drool-covered hoof and whimpers.

‘What’s going on here?’ Cheerilee demands.

‘Diamond Tiara offered t’ share some candy with us,’ Apple Bloom explains, ‘but Del jumped her and started eatin’ it all fer herself.’

‘I want her arrested for assault and stealing! She is not going to get away with this!’

Del swallows and grins. ‘More please!’

‘Actually, less,’ James grumbles. ‘I am calling Mr Cake right now and telling him you didn’t earn your treat.’

Del’s eyes go wide and she gallops over. ‘Del is sorry! She didn’t mean to!’

‘I am not the one you should apologize to,’ James replies, pretending to dial his mobile.

Del frowns and mopes over to Diamond Tiara. ‘Del is sorry. Del didn’t mean to hurt you.’

‘You better be sorry!’ Diamond Tiara snaps. ‘I am going to sue you!’

‘No, you’re not,’ Cheerilee sighs.

‘Well, I should!’

‘No, you shouldn’t.’

‘Well, uh...’ She turns to Del. ‘You look funny! HMPF!’

The upset filly turns and marches away. Silver Spoon sighs and follows after her friend to try to calm her down. The other foals gather around Del to talk with her further.

James sighs. ‘You get the books, but I think I know the first thing I am teaching her.’

Cheerilee laughs. ‘All foals start out like that. Like I said, this will be fun.’

James sits with Twilight and her friends in the library. They are going over the letters sent to them and the events James and Del experienced today. Everypony is looking thoughtful. Rarity is the first to look up.

‘I cannot believe you endangered my sister like that!’ the unicorn shouts.

‘To be fair, I was looking for you and didn’t know she was ditching school,’ the stallion defends.

‘She WHAT!’

‘It is a mite worrisome that ya put her in school,’ Applejack worries, ‘but Ah can see the good it can do fer her.’

‘Well, I don’t like it,’ Rainbow Dash complains, crossing her forelegs. ‘I think that having a changeling around is dangerous, even if she is small and smart enough to impersonate an awesome pegasus.’

‘I have to agree with Rainbow,’ Fluttershy whispers. ‘I think it is scary enough knowing that we were surrounded the whole time we were in Neighpon.’

‘Actually, Fluttershy, there weren’t that many in Neighpon,’ Twilight informs. ‘We weren’t in any real danger. Plus, we had both princesses, my brother and James looking out for us.’

‘Not to mention the Cyber-Queen,’ James adds.

Fluttershy looks down and squeaks.

‘Well, it looks like three for and three against this venture,’ Rarity comments.

‘We can’t really be for or against a request from Celestia,’ Twilight snorts.

‘You were against her request for help with your brother’s wedding,’ the white unicorn counters. ‘Which sort of relates back to this situation neatly.’

‘We can’t be willing to give up on this opportunity to further peace between ponies and changelings,’ James states. ‘No matter what everypony else feels, I will help Del in her mission.’

‘Then why are we discussing this if you two have already made up our minds for us?’ Dash retorts.

‘We’re asking for your help since we know that Del will have some slips in her cover or need some help that goes beyond our limited capabilities.’

‘Um... Can I change my vote?’ Fluttershy speaks up.

Rarity and Rainbow Dash glare at their friend. The shy pegasus shrinks away. Somepony coughs ‘confidence’ less than subtly, earning a jab to his side for the effort. Fluttershy nods and look up at her friends.

‘I wouldn’t want to be alone in a strange land,’ Fluttershy says. ‘Even though she is a changeling, she was very friendly, not like those scary changelings at the wedding. I... I think I can get used to her being around if she is going to be disguised most of the time.’

‘Exactly,’ Applejack agrees. ‘AB couldn’ stop tellin’ me ‘bout her new friend when she was helpin’ me at closin’. Ah find out the “really awesome” and “totally cool” pony is really a changelin’... Well, shoot. Ah ain’t gonna hold no grudge.’

‘You have enough grammatical errors in that statement to kill a whole room of language majors,’ Rarity groans. ‘Still, Stormy did say she was pacified by a simple juice box. That is more than can be said about Sweetie or her friends.’

James groans. ‘Yeah. She’s been acting like I was going to throw her in a dungeon just because I threatened to revoke the treat Mr Cake promised her.’

‘Right! We haven’t heard from Pinkie yet,’ Twilight notices. She turns to her friend. ‘What do you think about this?’

Pinkie stares at everypony with an upset look on her face. ‘You’re telling me she ate HOW many treats without inviting me?’ Her eyes narrow. ‘It. Is. On!’

Everypony groans at her response.

Back at The Power Block, James trots up the stairs with Del. The filly is excited to have gotten her treat, a whole cake just for herself. She cannot wait to eat it, but James puts it in the refrigerator as soon as he gets in.

‘Rei! We’re home!’

Rei gallops out of her room and hugs her father. ‘Daddy!’ She lets go and picks up Del. ‘I’m sorry for being rude earlier, Del-chan. I was just a little freaked out.’

‘Stormy told you?’ James asks.

‘Mhm! Stormy is the best judge of character. Just look at his choice of friends.’

‘Del likes Full Moon, but she also wants to keep her lunch in her stomach.’

‘Sorry.’ Rei sets down the filly. ‘She calls me my real name.’

James pats Rei on the head as he heads to his room. ‘That will do, Full Moon. Why don’t you order us some pizzas for dinner? Get as much as you two want. Just don’t touch the cake until after dinner. I have to make a call.’

‘Hai, daddy!’ Rei squeals as she gets out the take-out menus.
James laughs as he closes the door and seals it with his sonic screwdriver. He takes his computer out of sleep mode and brings up a program. Seconds later, a white pegasus with a flowing purple mane appears on screen.

‘I was wondering when you would call,’ Full Moon laughs.

‘So you knew I was going to get her?’

‘I was with Daring long before you were. I’ve known about a lot of things that have gone on inside Celestia’s court over its long history.’

‘Then why me?’

Full Moon smiles, a fang glinting on the monitor. ‘You and Full Moon are some of the few ponies to treat us like we weren’t monsters, even knowing what we were. I couldn’t think of a better pony for this project.’

‘My Full Moon tried to kill you, you know?’

‘But she didn’t care who I really was, just that I had accidentally borrowed her identity.’

James nods. ‘True. Then, why Del?’

‘Del? That is a cute name. I was hoping you would find something nice for her.’ Full Moon laughs, then takes a deep breath and sighs. ‘Her egg was the only survivor of what appeared to be a Ursa Major attack on her den. She has no remaining family as far as we know. We don’t have the ability to check lineage like you ponies do. Nor could we check her with your methods lest we reveal ourselves. In such cases, the child is usually sent to live with sleeper agents in a country we are watching.’

‘But this time was different. Why?’

‘I truly wish for our kind to be accepted by the wider world. Too many long years of having to hide and commit unspeakable, if delicious, acts in order to maintain the hive is wearing us thin. As any school-larva can tell you, befriend the biggest pupa in the yard and you are set.’

James grumbles, ‘Don’t I know that... But still, you sent a blank slate. Why?’

‘That is exactly why. They better absorb and assimilate to the culture they are exposed to. Any changeling raised in the hive will have the knowledge and prejudices we give them. Send them on assignment and culture shock is the least of our worries. No, Del is going to be raised by ponies and will understand you better than any of us. She will help bridge our differences.’

‘You could always ask your husband for help.’

Full Moon smirks. ‘Don’t think that thought hasn’t crossed my mind.’

James sits back and laughs. ‘I think I am starting to understand. You can trust me. I’ll watch over her as best I can. We all will.’

‘Excellent. I know I made the right choice. If you have further questions, you know how to reach me.’

‘In that case, are all of you addicted to sugar?’

Author's Note

TWP History: Del comes into TWP's life.

Number of Times Del Eats the Entire Stock of Sugarcube Corner: 1

Fun Fact: If you are a physicist, you will have at least one nightmare about the d’Alembertian.

Hang in There

Main Characters: Full Moon, Helios
Cameos: Queen Luna, Alba
Continuation of a short arc on Ask TWP.

Rei groans and blinks. She cannot feel anything except excruciating pain. She blinks again, keeping blood from flowing into her eyes. She tries standing, but only her left foreleg is free from whatever is trapping her. She tries looking around but any neck movement sends intense pain through her whole body. She tries focusing her lightning affinity in her free hoof, but the electricity flowing through her body causes her to scream. She tries looking around again. Nopony.

Rei sighs and rests her head in the blood pooling under her. ‘Hang in there, Rei... Hang... in... there...’ Her eyes grow heavy and close.

Rei yawns and stretches on her futon. She moans and looks out the window of her home in Neighpon. She has no school today so she is just going to stay home and play video games and catch up on her anime. It is not like she has any friends to play with... There is a knock on her door.

‘Rei-chan? Are you up?’ Rei’s attendant calls. ‘You have a visitor.’

‘Bullsh...’

‘LANGUAGE, YOUNG LADY!’ is shouted back in a booming Royal Canterlot Voice.

Rei blows through the door and tackles her guest in a hug.

‘Luna-sama!’ the young filly cheers, nuzzling the alicorn’s neck.

‘Good to see you too, Rei,’ the queen laughs. She sets the filly on the ground. ‘I brought some guests with me this time.’

Luna motions beside her. The young Prince Helios stands next to his mother. The younger Princess Alba waves from her mother’s back.

‘Helios! Alba!’ Rei is giddy.

Helios looks down and blushes. ‘Hi, Full Moon.’

‘Fu Moo!’ Alba greets.

‘I am going to be in town on business,’ Luna explains. ‘Would you mind spending the day with my children?’

‘YES!’ Rei grabs Helios in a hug. ‘I love Helo-kun and Alba-tan!’

‘I love you, too.’ Helios mumbles.

‘Helios mentioned wanting to see the city,’ Luna says. ‘Alba would have to stay here, but you two are free to see the city.’

‘Sure! Anything for Helo-kun.’

‘Excellent.’ Luna smiles. ‘You would make a wonderful big sister.’

Rei smiles in return. Luna levitates Alba to the floor. She gives the young alicorn a large textbook, causing the princess to squeal in joy.

‘I will return later tonight. I hope you have a wonderful day.’

Luna gives the three foals loving nuzzles before she trots out of the home. Rei smiles at her guests. Helios smiles in return. A grumbling stomach breaks the silence.

Rei giggles. ‘Gomen nasai. I just got up.’

Rei and Helios trot down the streets of Haydo after a filling breakfast. The white filly is licking the remaining rice from her face. The midnight blue colt smiles as he watches the cleaning ritual beside him.

Thanks to their contrasting colors, the two young ponies look like night and day. Rei is short and skinny. Helios, despite being a year younger than Rei, is tall and muscular. The young filly is loud and sloppy. The young colt is quiet and precise. One trait they both share is a vast intellect, though Rei tends to pretend otherwise.

Helios smiles and sighs as he watches Rei. My older sister can't be this cute.

‘Helo-kun? Are you listening?’

‘Huh? Wha?’

‘I was trying to tell you about Oreimo. It is such a fun show.’ She gets an evil grin. ‘I love the subject material.’

‘Huh?’

Rei giggles. ‘You’re too young to get it.’

‘You’re only a year older than me.’

Rei grins. She leans up and whispers into Helios’ ear. The alicorn’s wings stick up. The filly giggles when she leans back.

‘You and your sister are about the right age, too. She is probably going to be gorgeous when she grows up. Unlike me...’

‘You don’t have to be gorgeous when you grow up. You’re already gorgeous now.’

‘B-baka,’ Rei blushes. ‘Are you hitting on me, Prince?’

‘What? No! I mean, you are cute and....’

Rei giggles. ‘You’re fun to tease. Come on! Let’s hit up Animate before it gets too late!’

The filly gallops ahead. The prince sighs and hurries after her.

Helios’ neck is getting a workout. He is not looking at the sights of Haydo. He is trying to read a manga at the store he and Rei are at. His head turns between the manga and an Equestrian to Neighponese dictionary as they hover before the him while he tries to make it past the second page.

Rei trots over from the back of the store. She has a black bag under wing.

‘Find something you like?’ the filly asks.

‘I have no idea,’ the colt sighs. ‘What did you get?’

Rei blushes and grins. ‘Just some doujinshi and a new yuri eroge.’

‘Some what?’

Rei’s blush deepens and she pulls the prince in close. She pulls the game partly out of the bag. The colt’s eyes go wide and his wings stick straight up. A weak spell fizzles on his horn. Rei giggles and dashes from the store before they get too many stares. Helios quickly follows.

‘Does-does my mom or your attendant know you buy that?’

Rei practically turns pink she is blushing so much. ‘No... Please don’t tell them.’ She looks down and whispers, ‘It just feels so good to clop sometimes...’

Helios freezes and does everything in his power to control the thoughts and involuntary reactions he is having. ‘I-I-I won’t t-tell anypony.’

‘Thanks. You’re sweet.’ Rei kisses his cheek. ‘That is why I name the stallion after you sometimes.’

Helios’ legs fail him from the shock of hearing what Rei just told him. The filly giggles and gallops ahead.

‘Hey! I know the best place for lunch! Oh! I think they are doing my favorite show today, too!’

The young prince fails to comprehend anything that he is witnessing. Ponies of all types dressed in odd costumes are serving customers in the cafe he and Rei are at. Some of the customers covertly take pictures of the servers. Rei sings along with the crazy music playing from the speakers. Helios shakes his head and settles into his seat. An unicorn in a grey wig and wearing a school uniform steps up to the table. Rei beams with excitement.

‘How may I help you?’ the waitress asks in a plain voice.

‘Two sodas and an order of croquettes to start us off, Nagano-san,’ Rei replies.

The waitress sighs. ‘Roger.’

The waitress trots away. Rei giggles.

‘You know her?’ Helios asks.

'No, but she is my favorite character in the show,’ Rei explains. ‘I love the grey mane and the smarty brain she has.’

Helios laughs. ‘You’re so cute.’

The music picks up, and everypony stops what they are doing. Rei stands at the table while the other patrons do the same.

The prince panics a little. ‘What is going on? I don’t get it?’

‘Come on! You have to join in!’

The music changes and all of the patrons except Helios start dancing.

♫

Nazonazo mitai ni chikyuugi wo tokiakashitara

Minna de doko made mo ikeru ne

…

♪

‘What the hell is going on!’ Helios hides under the table.

Rei trots through a park with Helios after their lunch. The filly has a big smile on her face. The colt is shellshocked. Rei rubs against Helios, linking her wing under his. He looks down at the pegasus smiling up at him.

‘I had a great day, Helo-kun. Arigato.’

‘I had a better one, thanks to you.’

Rei blushes and looks away. ‘Baka.’

The pair find a bench and sit together. Rei leans against Helios and sighs contentedly. Clopping is heard behind them. Helios looks back to see a group of fillies of various tribes trotting past. One of the fillies laughs.

‘Look. It is Tiny.’

‘Who is she with? That looks like...’

‘Please. Like the prince would ever want to spend time with her. He is far too cool to spend time with a shrimp like her.’

‘Yeah. He is probably back at the capital with a filly who doesn’t look like a newborn foal.’

‘Nice try, loser! Go back to your tiny home and be a baka otaku.’

‘You’re going to get your cutie mark in being a loser.’

‘A tiny loser otaku cutie mark. Perfect for her.’

‘That is good cosplay, but the prince would never spend time with that short otaku. I don’t see how you can ever stand being with her. You’re both freaks!’

‘Weirdos!’

‘Otaku!’

The fillies laugh as they trot away. Helios’ hooves dig in the ground as he resists blasting the fillies with his magic. He looks at Rei. She has her head down and a puddle has formed from her tears.

‘Full Moon?’

‘They are right. Why would anypony want to be around me? I am just a short, weird otaku.’

‘Full Moon...’

‘Stop it!’ A small snap of electricity scorches the ground under Rei’s hooves. ‘Stop calling me that!’

‘No! You are Full Moon! Rei might be your common name, but you are really Full Moon at heart, and you know it!’

‘I am not Full Moon... Full Moon is just a silly dream.’

‘Full Moon is the name of princess. I could never love anypony more than I love Princess Full Moon!’

‘Helios...’

‘Please, Full Moon. Stop being sad. I cannot stand to see you ruin your perfect face with tears.’

‘I don’t know if I can stop...’

Helios takes Rei’s hooves. ‘Rei, Full Moon, please. For me. Please be happy. I know it is tough, but you have to hang in there. You have to hang in there and be happy. Please, Full Moon. Be happy. Hang in there.’

Rei wipes her tears. ‘I will. For my Prince Helios. I’ll hang in there for him.’

Helios holds Rei close. ‘Hang in there, Full Moon. Hang in there...’

‘Hang... in... the...’ Rei rasps. Her mane and coat are stained red from her injuries. She is having trouble breathing. ‘Ha...’

‘HANG IN THERE, REI!’ a yell calls.

The injured filly cracks her eyes. She sees a red shape, but that could just be the blood.

‘HANG IN THERE!’

The Panicking Physicist finds a safe cliff face to slide down. At the bottom, he charges and slams into the rocks that have Rei pinned to the ground. Inkie follows moments later. Silver Fox swoops in from above as well. Lucas teleports down with Stormy and Image Crystal. The ponies move the rocks from atop the trapped filly as quickly and safely as they can.

‘Hang in there, Rei!’ James cradles his daughter. ‘Hang in there!’

Rei weakly smiles and passes out again.

James stands outside of a room at Ponyville Hospital. In the room, a sleeping Rei is wrapped almost entirely in bandages. She has breathing tubes, and an IV drip is in her uninjured leg. A doctor is in the room with the filly. He exits and goes to The Worried Parent.

‘I don’t know what to say,’ the doctor says. ‘I’ve never seen anything like this.’

‘How bad?’

‘Both her hind legs and her right foreleg are broken. Her wings were nearly shattered. Her back is in really bad shape, and she is covered in cuts and bruises, not counting that massive gash on her head. But somehow, she will make it. I don’t know how that is possible. Even with the medical data Luna sent us, she should not be alive right now.’

‘Rei has a way of hanging on through the tough situations.’

‘I guess so.’

‘Can I..?’

The doctor nods. James smiles and enters the room. He pulls a seat next to Rei. He leans up and kisses her forehead.

‘Good girl. Way to hang in there for us. We love you, Rei... I mean, Full Moon. Your family loves you. Thank you so much for hanging in there.’

Rei sits in her home with Helios and Alba. The two younger ponies are sleeping under the older pegasus’s wings. Rei smiles at the sleeping ponies beside her. She snuggles down and lays with them. Behind her, a magical light glows as her cutie mark appears, a shining full moon with five bright stars around it.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Rei is nearly killed in an accident. First extended look into Rei's home. Origin story of Rei's cutie mark and her brother's advice to her. Rei reveals an attraction to smart, grey-maned mares.

Story Event: So... We get the impression that Helios might have certain... feelings towards his older sister. As would (hopefully will) be revealed in a RoH, yes. Yes, he does. While that series does immediately reveal his feelings for Lucas' and Derpy's daughter, he does have a crush on Rei. Sorta makes the reference a little more creepy.

Fun Fact: The cosplay cafe scene in Lucky Star where Aya Hirano switches between Konata and Haruhi at a rapid-fire pace is one of the best scenes in anime history.

Fun Fact: I would consider 'Hare Hare' to be Rei's theme song.

Get Well Soon

Main Characters: TWP, Rei, Nurse Redheart
Cameos: Del, Colgate, Fluttershy
Original Start Date: August 28, 2012

A steady beeping greets Rei as she slowly opens her eyes. Her whole body really hurts. She tries rubbing her head, but her right foreleg is immobilized in a cast. Rei groans and looks around. A pink mare with a purple and white mane stands at a doorway.

‘You’re finally up!’ the mare gasps. ‘I’ll get the doctor right away.’

The mare gallops away. Rei tries moving, but once again she is limited to just her left foreleg. Everything feels sore.

‘Don’t strain yourself. You still have a long way to go.’

Rei looks towards the door. A white mare with a pale pink mane trots into the room. She takes Rei’s free hoof and gives it a gentle squeeze before she starts checking the filly’s vitals. An orange unicorn stallion trots into the room.

‘Good to see you awake, kiddo,’ the doctor greets. ‘We have a lot of tests to run, and I want to get them started before...’

‘REI!’

The filly perks up at the sound of the voice. The nurse moves out of the way as a stallion gallops into the room. The Concerned Parent wraps Rei in a large hug. He rubs his face against hers, their joyful tears mixing. The stallion has a slight beard, and he looks fatigued.

‘I knew you would come back to us, Full Moon. I knew you would.’

Magic wraps the stallion and pulls him back.

‘Mr Wanderer, I know you are happy to see your daughter awake, but there are a lot of tests we need to run to determine her condition.’

James reaches for Rei. ‘She is my daughter. I need to be with my daughter!’

Rei tries reaching, but she can barely lift her foreleg. Nurse Redheart holds the filly’s hoof again.

‘Let me go!’ James shouts as the doctor tries levitating him from the room.

The stallion catches the doorframe and tries pulling himself back in the room. A large dark brown stallion gallops up behind the parent and aids in dragging him from the room. Rei whimpers.

Redheart comforts the filly. ‘Don’t worry. Everything will be fine. You’ll be together soon enough.’

The next day. Nurse Redheart is washing Rei’s face and mane for the filly. The water is getting red from all the blood still coming out of Rei’s mane. The mare eventually sets down the washcloth and sighs.

‘There. I got a lot of it. It is hard to do with that bad gash behind your ear like that.’

Rei whines.

‘Come on. Cheer up. It is almost visiting hours. I got you all pretty for...’

The clock ticks to the top of the hour. Instantly, the door bursts open, and James gallops across the room to hug Rei.

‘There’s my darling Full Moon. I never want to let you go.’

‘Daddy...’ Rei sobs as she tries returning the hug.

Redheart smiles and takes a step back. She tries leaving, but Twilight Sparkle trots in the doorway. The princess smiles and sighs.

‘Thank you for your help,’ Twilight says to the nurse.

‘Rei is a sweet girl. It is my pleasure to help her,’ Redheart replies before leaving.

James gives Rei a kiss on the cheek. ‘I am so happy to see your smiling face. I’ve been so worried.’

‘He isn’t the only one,’ Twilight adds. ‘A lot of the town has just shut down because we were worried for you.’

‘You were worried for Rei-chan?’ the filly asks.

‘Your father has barely eaten since he brought you here. I highly doubt he has slept the whole time.’

‘Oh, daddy...’

‘Flitter has been trying to run the store without you, but she has been too upset to do a good job of it, and she has to close up early for her weather patrol duties. Daring even sent a message that she will be returning from her adventure early to check on you.’

‘Silly Daring-sama.’

‘Lucas hasn’t been showing up to work. The Crystals have been worried sick. They have been watching Del while your father was here. Silver was around for awhile, but she had to get back to work. You probably didn’t notice, but Luna came by every night, and Cadence asked about you.’

Rei smiles. ‘Luna is best princess.’

‘Right.’ Twilight rolls her eyes. ‘Lyra has been so upset that she has basically shut off and stopped teaching, although after that week with her, I can't tell the difference.’

Rei giggles.

‘I hope you are really hungry,’ James sighs. ‘Pinkie wants to throw you the biggest party once you are better. She and Stormy are already ordering the best ingredients... That is if I weren’t here all the time.’

‘Nani?’

James mimics his TARDIS powering up. Rei giggles again.

‘Oh!’ Twilight remembers. ‘Rainbow offered to get the best physical therapist in Cloudsdale if you need it.’

‘Mommy can do better, right, Rei-chan? Use her connection to the Wonderbolts to get their trainers.’

‘I hope mommy isn’t too worried,’ Rei whines.

‘Fluttershy is doing her best to pretend otherwise,’ Twilight answers, ‘but she has been taking care of every animal in town to distract her mind. She even took the skunks to the spa...’

Rei smiles. She nuzzles her dad to wipe away her tears. ‘What about..?’ she whispers.

James looks at Twilight and nods. An aura forms around her horn, and James steps aside. Inkie is teleported beside Rei. The two young mares stare for a moment before Inkie wraps her forelegs around Rei. The pegasus tries returning the hug while burying her muzzle in Inkie’s mane.

‘I am so happy you are all right,’ Inkie sobs.

‘I’m sorry for upsetting you, Inkie-chan.’

‘I love you, Rei.’

‘I love you, too, Inkie.’

The two young mares share a kiss. James breathes a sigh of relief as he stands next to Twilight. Redheart smiles to herself as she peeks into the room.
…

Several hours later, James is the only pony in the room with Rei. They are just holding hooves as she rests. Nurse Redheart enters the room and looks back.

‘You’re going to have to...’

‘I’m staying. She needs me,’ James interrupts.

‘I understand your wish, but the doctor is coming with security again. I don’t want this to be hard for any of you.’

‘I am not leaving my daughter’s side. I can take care of her.’

‘Mr Wanderer... I...’ Redheart tries to think of the best words. She takes a deep breath and sighs, ‘I wish I could help more.’

The doctor enters the room. Two security guards wait outside. James stands between the doctor and Rei.

‘Mr Wanderer, it is time to go,’ the doctor states. ‘We have given you too many exceptions already.’

‘She is my daughter, and I am going to take care of her,’ The Defensive Parent growls. ‘You are going to have to break your Hippocratic Oath to get me to leave her side.’

The doctor lifts James with his magic again. ‘This is the last time we will go easy on you. If we are forced to remove you again, you will not be allowed back in the hospital.’

James catches the end of Rei’s bed as he is levitated out of the room. The guards enter the room and grab the defiant stallion.

‘Let go of me! I have to care for her! Rei! I have to take care of Rei-chan!’

‘Daddy!’

‘Rei! Full Moon!’

The guards force James loose and carry him from the room.

‘Hang in there, Full Moon!’ James shouts. ‘I’ll be back for you! Hang in there!’

‘Daddy! Bring back daddy!’

‘Calm down, Rei,’ the doctor sighs. ‘You need your rest.’

‘I need my daddy! Give him back!’

Rei flinches in pain as she charges her electric affinity on her free hoof. Her monitoring equipment shorts out and alarms sound as she fires a weak electrical burst that hits the wall behind the doctor. The exhausted filly falls back in her bed.

The doctor calmly trots over and puts a hoof on Rei’s forehead. ‘If you are quite through...’

Rei lunges forward and bites the doctor’s leg. He screams and draws it back, a few drops of blood falling to the ground. Nurse Redheart gasps in shock.

‘I didn’t want to do this, but we have to sedate her,’ the doctor growls, bandaging his leg.

He limps from the room. Redheart nervously approaches Rei.

‘I want my daddy,’ the filly snorts.

‘I’m really sorry.’

‘Daddy! I want my daddy!’

‘I’m sorry, Rei.’

‘I WANT MY DADDY!’

Redheart winces from the yell and quickly backs away.

The doctor buries his head under his hooves in his office.

‘I WANT MY DADDY!’

The screaming has not let up since he last checked on the patient. He looks up at Nurse Redheart.

‘BRING ME MY DADDY!’

‘This is getting insane,’ the doctor moans. ‘Can we give her more sedatives?’

‘We have already given her the safe maximum dose. Safe maximum daily dose.’

‘She was practically in a coma just over a day ago. How can she have this much energy?’

‘WHERE’S MY DADDY!’

The doctor groans and rubs his temples. ‘She is starting to scare patients on other floors.’

‘Doctor, don’t you think...’

‘She needs proper care and attention. He can’t be there for her constantly.’

‘We could ask one of the staff to assist him.’

‘DADDY!’

The scream shakes the walls, knocking a picture to the floor.

‘Who can we find that would be willing to take care of her after tonight?’

Redheart bites her lip.

Rei sighs contentedly as she is settled into her bed for the first time in over a week. It feels as if her father made it extra comfy for her return home. James looks up from adjusting the monitoring equipment and gives his daughter a nuzzle.

‘I did,’ he whispers.

‘Did what?’ Redheart asks.

‘Nothing,’ the stallion laughs. ‘Thanks for helping out. I really owe you.’

The nurse sighs. ‘Even though she should be in the hospital still, I think it would have done her more harm to keep you two separated.’

Redheart preps a needle for the antibiotic drip. Rei whimpers and flinches at the sight of the needle.

‘Don’t worry. It will only hurt for a moment,’ the nurse assures.

‘Or not at all.’

James takes the tube, removes the needle and puts a small cap over the end. He returns the tube to the nurse.

‘Subcutaneous injector?’ Redheart asks.

‘More or less.’ James shrugs. ‘You know I have some fancy equipment at my disposal.’

Redheart attaches the device to Rei’s exposed leg. ‘There. You are all set.’

‘If you need anything, yell and all of us will come running.’ James looks up. ‘Right, Del?’

Redheart looks up then jumps back in shock as she sees the dark blue filly standing on the ceiling, her bright red mane hanging down. Del flaps her wings a bit for balance.

‘Del, we have a guest. How do we behave?’

The filly drops to the ground, landing on all four legs. ‘Sorry. Del will act like a normal pony now.’

‘Very good. Would you mind getting us some drinks?’

Del nods and trots from the room. James laughs. He sits by Rei and strokes her mane. She sighs and settles into her bed.

‘Don’t worry. We’ll get all of the blood out,’ James assures his daughter.

‘Arigato.’

‘Del will be back with your drink in a moment. Once you are done, I want you to get some sleep.’

‘Hai, daddy.’

‘Good girl.’ James gets up and kisses Rei on the forehead. ‘I’ll get something to get rid of the scars, too.’

Rei sighs. James trots to the door. He motions for Redheart to follow. She looks at her patient then trots out of the room.

‘Shouldn’t we be watching her?’ the nurse asks.

‘She’ll be fine. We’re near enough in case she needs something. She is just happy to be home.’

James takes a drink as Del passes with a tray on her head. The filly waits for Redheart to take a drink before continuing to Rei’s room. James takes his drink and lays on the couch. He looks at the nurse.

‘I gave you a room. It is the last door.’ He motions down the hall. ‘If you need anything from your home, I can arrange it.’

Redheart groans and sits by the stallion. ‘Right. Don’t really have much there I can’t live without. I’m usually too busy to go home most days.’

‘You don’t have a lucky stallion or mare waiting for you?’

‘No, I don’t have a stallion waiting for me, mom. At this rate, I probably never will.’

‘I’m sure you’ll find somepony.’ His stomach gives a loud growl. ‘Oh dear Sagan. Not eating for the past week is finally catching up to me. I’ll have to go out and pick us up something soon.’ He smiles. ‘All of her favorites. Oh! And yours, too. You are our guest.’

Redheart sighs and sips her drink, wondering what this assignment will bring.

Redheart is taking Rei’s temperature. The filly groans as the nurse checks the thermometer in Rei’s mouth.

‘Oh, calm down. This isn’t so bad,’ Redheart assures.

‘But it is so boring.’

‘Hey. Just be glad your lower half is in a cast or I would give you the option of getting your temperature taken the fun way.’

Rei squeaks and tries covering her face.

Redheart laughs and removes the thermometer. ‘You’re looking fine. No sign of infection, and your bones are healing nicely.’ She smiles and goes to the door. ‘Do you need any of us to get you anything?’

Rei shakes her head. ‘No thanks.’

‘We are right out here if you...’

‘Redheart-sensei...’

‘Yes?’

‘Um... How long was I asleep?’

‘Just now or...’ Rei whimpers at the nurse. Redheart sighs. ‘From the time your father brought you in to when you woke up, eight and a half days. We never saw injuries as bad as yours. A lot of us think it is a miracle you survived at all.’

‘I dreamt...’ Rei looks down at her bed and takes a deep breath. ‘I dreamt I was back at my original home with my mother and siblings. I dreamt of a life that seems so foreign yet somehow the same. But something was missing. Something important. When I saw my dad and Twilight and Inkie...’

Rei starts crying. Redheart goes to her and strokes the filly’s mane.

‘Just seeing your reaction when you awoke and being here for you now, I can assure you that you are home. We may not know each other too well, but I can tell you are home. I am certain your birth family would be so happy to see you safe and loved here with your real family.’

‘Arigato, Redheart-sensei.’

‘Why are you calling me that?’

‘Sensei? That is what we call doctors, right?’

‘But I am not a doctor.’

‘You’re better than a doctor.’

Redheart sighs and laughs. ‘You are a sweet filly.’

The nurse stokes Rei’s mane one last time and leaves the room. She is stopped just outside by James.

‘Thank you. I seriously mean it.’

‘I’m just doing my job.’

‘I will repay you. Believe me.’

‘It is not...’

James shakes his head. ‘You are helping my daughter become herself again. That must be repaid.’

Redheart nods. ‘There are rumors of your generosity. Good to see they are true.’

James peeks into the room at Rei making faces at a ceiling-walking Del. ‘Quick question...’

‘Yes?’

‘As long as she is still bandaged like this, how hard would it be to completely immobilize her?’

‘What do you have in mind?’

‘Something she has needed for a long time...’

Rei screams and tries struggling as her father and Nurse Redheart tie her to the bed.

‘NO! I don’t wanna!’ the filly yells.

‘You have to!’ James commands. ‘You haven’t since you got here. You are long overdue.’

‘No! Mommy! Save me!’ Rei shrieks.

‘Fluttershy agrees with me. She even asked me about it when she lived here.’

‘No! Yamatte!’

‘Mr Wanderer, I don’t think this will work if she keeps struggling like this,’ Redheart warns.

‘Don’t worry. It will work. I called a specialist.’

There is a knock on the door. The ponies look over to see a blue unicorn with a blue-striped mane standing in the doorway.

‘Brushie, brushie,’ Colgate says with a smile, levitating several toothbrushes at once.

Rei screams again and tries to free herself.
…

Hours later. Colgate comes from Rei’s room. Sobbing can be heard from within. The unicorn trots over to where James is standing.

‘Thanks for doing this,’ the stallion says. ‘She was way overdue for a cleaning.’

‘I’ll say,’ Colgate agrees. ‘Not even Rainbow Dash lets her teeth go that bad.’

‘How much do I owe you?’

Colgate looks around. Redheart is still with Rei. Del is with them, observing everything to do with the fallout from the cleaning.

‘Can we talk about it on the way out?’

James nods and leads Colgate out of the residence.

‘Been a while,’ Colgate states.

‘I was in for my cleaning right on schedule,’ the stallion defends.

‘Not what I meant.’

‘I know.’ James sighs. ‘How long has it been since Canterlot?’

‘Right. It was back then... It must have been only a couple months for you, but it was centuries for me.’

‘That long? I’m sorry. When I saw you here...’

‘You, me, The Doctor. We’re all that is left. There are rumors of... Never mind.’

‘If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you been a dentist? I mean, I heard tales of you actually going back to school here.’

‘Ah yes. You hid by not travelling. The Doctor jumped right to the thick of it. I regressed to a much younger age. Becoming really young or really old was one of the few ways to hide.’

‘So you and Rarity...’

Colgate nods.

‘And Bon Bon, too?’

‘Yep. I am currently single if you are getting to that.’

‘No. It is not that. It is just... I had a crush on you back at the academy. I guess it would have been a waste of my time.’

‘James, please. You know our kind don’t think of romance in terms of gender, species or number of partners. To be honest, I might have been a bit flattered back then.’ She looks away slightly. ‘I might be a bit jealous right now...’

The stallion groans. ‘Just what I need. It is hard enough with Applejack still fancying me.’

‘Not the only thing she keeps hard on you,’ the mare snickers.

‘Hey! Low blow!’

‘Not the only low... OW!’ the unicorn shouts when she gets her horn flicked. She growls and glares at the stallion before sighing and shaking her head. ‘Anyway, since we have a moment alone like this, I just want to say I am sorry.’

‘For what?’

‘I was mean to you when we were growing up. I have heard about your... Well, I am sorry for causing my share of it. If I had known....’

James shakes his head. ‘You were one of the good ones. You were nicer to me more often than you were mean. I appreciate your apology, even if I don’t feel you need to.’

Colgate looks at the stallion again and sighs. ‘Twilight is really lucky to have you. There are far too few stallions as good as you.’ She leans in and kisses James on the cheek. ‘As always, the cleaning is on the house. Anything for you and your family.’

The unicorn trots out The Power Block’s back exit. James watches her for a moment before following.

‘Wait! Uh... Roma... Er, Col...’

Colgate smiles. ‘I go by Minuette now, but Colgate works as a nickname.’

‘Right. Uh... I just wanted to say we can be friends or whatever. Make up for old times.’

‘I would love that.’ Colgate smiles wider, exposing her perfect teeth. ‘I’ll see you around, James.’

‘I look forward to it, Colgate.’

The two ponies wave and go back about their business.

James sits behind Rei and runs a device over her head. Redheart watches them from beside the bed.

‘Just about done here,’ the stallion comments.

‘What are you doing?’ Redheart asks.

‘Just removing the scars and stimulating follicle growth. She’ll look just like she did before her crash.’

‘Is that really necessary?’

‘I don’t mind either way about the scars,’ Rei replies, ‘but would hate to have a patchy mane.’

‘I never thought of you as so vain.’

‘I like to look pretty, too!’ the filly defends. ‘We can’t all look as nice as you all the time.’

The nurse blushes. ‘I’m not that good-looking.’

‘Daddy, Redheart-sensei is being silly again.’

‘Done.’ The father kisses his daughter behind the ear and climbs off her bed. ‘You look good as new now.’

‘Does that mean I can remove these stupid casts yet?’

James turns to Redheart. ‘What do you say, sensei?’

‘We’d have to take her in for x-rays first...’

James tosses the nurse a small device. ‘Guess again. And no, that is not how I am paying you back.’

Redheart examines the device. It slips around a foreleg. A light shoots out and covers Rei. A readout appears on the device.

‘A medical scanner?’ the nurse asks, getting a nod in reply. ‘Hmm. Looks like her right foreleg is healed. We can take her in to...’

James pulls out his sonic screwdriver and runs it over the cast. The cast splits and falls to the floor. Rei laughs and stretches her free limb, wincing a little when she overextends it a bit.

‘You have to be gentle,’ Redheart warns. ‘I’ll start you on some light exercises to rebuild your muscles.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ Rei assures. ‘Just gotta let me out of the bed for a bit.’

The nurse checks her scanner. ‘At the rate you are healing, you should be walking again soon enough. A bit longer for flying. Your wings were mangled pretty badly.’

‘Can we at least remove my lower bandages? It feels like forever since I last cl...’ Rei notices her father beside her and blushes bright red. ‘Since I last stretched my tail?’

James groans and ruffles Rei’s mane. ‘You’re sounding healthier already.’ He looks at the nurse. ‘There is a cure for that, right?’

Redheart blushes. ‘It is healthy for a filly her age to do that. There are many physical and psychological benefits as well. How often..?’

‘Two or three times...’ Rei answers.

‘That is not so...’

‘...a day.’

Redheart’s blush increases. ‘Oh. Well. Uh....’

‘Now you know why she flies everywhere.’

‘DAD!’

‘I-I-I think that is something for the two of you to work out on your own. I-I’ll be outside if you need me.’

Redheart hurries out of the room. James and Rei giggle and high hoof. The father then hits his daughter on the back of the head.

‘I can’t believe you brought that up with a stranger.’

‘What? She is a nurse. She can handle it.’

James snorts. ‘Del isn’t the only one that needs to learn proper pony behaviour.’

‘You can always sign me up for Rarity’s class again.’

‘I know about her video collection, no. You’re just going to have to work double shifts at the shop so you will be too tired to do that.’

‘Oh! So that is how you get out of...’

‘Don’t tell Twilight!’

Rei grins. ‘Well, if I don’t have to work double shifts...’

James groans and hugs Rei. ‘You are definitely my daughter.’

Redheart sighs as she settles into a warm bath. One of the benefits of this assignment is actually being able to relax once and awhile. It feels good letting the mane down and turning off the brain for a bit. The nurse sighs again and looks around the room. A small, dark blue filly that was not there previously is sitting by the bath.

‘Mr Wanderer is dead,’ Del plainly states.

Redheart stares at the filly for a moment. ‘What?’

‘He just fell over. Del thinks he is dead.’

Redheart sits in shock for a few seconds before her instincts kick, and she leaps from the tub to attend to her host. She immediately slips and lands hard on the washroom floor, her neck, chest and jaw taking most of the damage.

‘No. He was more sideways falling,’ Del corrects.

The nurse swears under her breath and gallops out of the washroom. James is laying in the middle of the kitchen. He can be heard wheezing as he lays there. Redheart gallops to his side and begins her examination.

‘He’s not dead...’

‘Told you, Del,’ The Wheezing Physicist gasps.

The filly frowns and sticks her tongue out.

‘But, he is definitely out of sorts.’ The nurse glares at the stallion. ‘Somepony probably picked up a bug from a week of not eating or sleeping and hanging around the hospital everyday.’

‘I’m fine. Just make sure Rei is okay.’

‘Del, is Rei okay?’

‘She is still sleeping.’

Redheart turns to James. ‘See. She’s fine. Let’s get you to bed.’

The mare does her best to lift the stallion on her back and drag him to his bedroom. She leaves a trail of water from her soaking mane and tail.

‘I won’t tell Twilight you’re wet for me if you don’t.’

The nurse briefly considers dropping her new patient out the window. ‘See, you’re not in bed yet, and you’re already getting back to normal.’

After getting James to bed, Redheart uses her medical scanner to diagnose her new patient. Del stands to the side watching the nurse work.

‘I’m fine,’ James groans. ‘I’m a mighty alien. Your puny bugs are no match for me.’

‘Shouldn’t that make you more susceptible since you wouldn’t have the built-in immunities we do?’

The stallion forces his eyes open to glare at the nurse. ‘Shut up with your logic.’

Redheart sighs and puts her scanner away. ‘Looks like a light case of pony pox. A few days in bed, plenty of fluids and making sure you actually eat and sleep will have you healthy as a horse in no time.’

‘If I give you the key, will you get something from my closet for me?’

‘If you are going to have me get some alien cure for something that is as common as a cold and that everypony should get at least once in their lives, think again. A little bed rest will do you well, mister.’

‘Then can you at least find Twilight and tell her this for me?’ James gives Redheart a pad of paper. The nurse reads the paper and growls. ‘Try and do it in a really sexy voice, too.’

Redheart drops the pad and trots from the room. ‘Del, make sure he stays in bed. I’m going to make them a healthy meal for once in their lives.’

‘NOOOO!’ both father and daughter moan from their rooms.

Redheart is in the living room watching a program. She makes sure to keep it low enough so she can hear her patients. The screen starts changing and eventually goes blank. She sighs and goes to James’ room. The stallion is holding his sonic to the wall.

‘About time,’ James rasps. ‘Rei needs a juice box.’

‘If she needs help, she can call me.’

‘Also, she has been playing with her wings again and one of the splints came loose. Pain medicine is...’

‘I know where it is.’ The nurse takes the sonic and forces her patient into his bed. ‘I know you are worried, but you need to get some rest, too.’

‘I can sleep when she is better.’

‘Sleep now, or I will make you sleep.’

Redheart turns and trots away, using her tail to whip her patient’s cheek. She goes to the couch and turns her program on again. After a moment, the nurse moans and gets up. She trots to Rei’s room.

‘Everything okay in here?’ Redheart asks.

‘My wing hurts,’ Rei whimpers.

The nurse groans and goes to the bed. ‘Okay. Let me see.’ She turns to her side. ‘Del, while I do this, get Rei a juice box. Also, get me that bottle of pills on the kitchen counter.’

The filly nods and trots away. Redheart climbs on the bed and leans Rei to one side. She starts adjusting the splint keeping Rei’s wings in place. The young mare flinches with every adjustment. Soon, the nurse finishes her task and gets off the bed. She carefully leans Rei back down as Del returns.

‘Now, stop messing with your wings if you ever want them to get better,’ Redheart warns while giving Rei her drink and pain medication.

Rei nods as she sips her juice. ‘Daddy needs his hoofheld with the latest Pokemon game.’

‘Oh geez.’

‘Also, he is having a tough time sleeping. If you can bring him his mobile with a call to Twilight...’

‘What is it with you two? You’re supposed to be focusing on your recovery, but you spend all of your time worrying about each other.’

Rei stares and blinks. ‘We’re ohana. Well, we are now. We never really had family before recently so I guess we worry more than we should. I know mommy is worried, too. I wish she would come by...’

‘If I knew who you were referring to, I could ask her for you.’

‘You know, mommy. She was married to daddy for about a month. Well, fake married, but she is still mommy.’

‘You mean Fluttershy?’ Rei nods in reply. ‘But, I’ve seen your genetic scan. I know that...’ The nurse sighs. ‘Anypony ever tell you you’re weird?’

Rei smirks. ‘They never really stop.’ She tosses Redheart her mobile. ‘You can call mommy on my mobile since you need to get daddy his.’

The nurse sighs and trots out of the room. Rei laughs, then reaches back and fiddles with her wing.

The first thing James sees when he wakes is a yellow and pink blur hovering over his face. He reaches for his glasses and puts them on.

‘Pony pox is what gets you?’ Fluttershy snorts. ‘Really, James?’

‘Thanks for coming. Rei has really been missing you,’ The Sick Physicist replies.

‘I’m sorry for not coming sooner. I was just so scared that she would be upset because of her injuries or that she would be horribly scarred or...’

‘We took care of the scarring. She will look just like she did before her crash,’ James assures. ‘I think she was more upset about missing her mother than her accident.’

Fluttershy blushes and hides behind her mane. ‘Do you have to word it like that? It is embarrassing enough when she does it.’

‘If anything happens to me, I want you to raise her.’

‘You only have the pony pox. You’ll be fine in a matter of days.’

‘I just want Rei to be happy.’

Fluttershy sighs and holds James’ hoof. ‘Even if it wasn’t real, we are a family, just like I feel about all my friends. Now get some rest. I left a nice healthy soup for you with Nurse Redheart.’

James groans.

‘It will make you better faster. You will drink it, and you will like it.’

‘Yes, dear.’

‘Good.’ Fluttershy smiles. ‘I’ll check with you later in the week just to make sure you’re both still okay.’

Fluttershy happily trots out of the bedroom. James groans and leans back in bed. He hears a throat cleared beside him. His mobile is showing a live video of Twilight Sparkle.

`What do you mean “dear”?' the alicorn demands.

‘Didn’t I go to sleep three hours ago?’

Twilight blushes. I haven’t been watching you the whole time!

James laughs and kisses the screen. ‘I love you, too.’ He wipes the screen clean, accidentally switching videos to a stream of Pinkie glaring at him. ‘Love you, too, too.’

With both of her patients resting, Redheart is taking a moment to finally relax. She has made a large bowl of popcorn and is enjoying her favorite movie. Del hobbles towards the couch.

‘Miss Redheart, Del does not feel well.’

The filly then vomits on the floor and falls in her mess. The nurse groans and gets up to tend to her new charge.
…

Redheart has Del in her bed. The filly moans as she curls into a ball.

‘Del is dying,’ the pegasus groans.

‘Seems like you just have a stomach bug or maybe you got Mr Wanderer’s pony pox,’ the nurse notes. ‘Anyway, it gives me a chance to use my scanner again.’ Redheart aims her scanner at Del. She gasps at the readout. ‘Del, you’re a...’

Del’s disguise is dropped as she leans over the side of her bed. Redheart barely gets a bin under the changeling before she vomits again.

‘Don’t tell Del’s queen of her weakness. Del would be eaten alive.’

‘I hope you don’t mean literally.’ Before Del can answer, Redheart interrupts. ‘Anyway! Just a stomach flu. I’ll keep a clear path to the washroom and bring you plenty of fluids. You’ll be back on your hooves or whatever in no time.’

‘Del’s stomach hurts, but she doesn’t feel like she will vomit.’

‘Washroom! Now!’

Del falls out of bed and gallops away as fast as she can. Redheart groans. She trots from the room, stopping to scrub her hooves, all four of them, thoroughly at the kitchen sink. She passes the washroom and knocks on the door.

‘Del, stay in there until I get back.’

Redheart trots downstairs. She does not go out the back, instead passing through The Power Block. The store is empty, except for Lucas laying on the counter.

‘Dear Celestia. Not you, too.’

Lucas looks up. ‘Not me what?’

‘Thank Celestia. I thought you were sick, too.’

‘Nah. Just really bored. It has been so slow recently! Why? What’s up?’

‘Well, aside from Rei...’

‘Does she need cuddles! I can do that!’

‘Her muscles and bones are still sensitive.’

Lucas frowns.

Redheart groans, ‘Anyway! Rei is still stuck in bed. Your boss has pony pox.’

‘Eek!’ Lucas squirts antibacterial soap on his hooves.

‘Right. And now Del has a stomach bug. Does he at least pay you?’

‘Three hundred bits a week with benefits.’

Redheart facehooves. ‘A freaking shop clerk makes more than me...’

‘Actually, most of that is because, uh, well...’

‘Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh?’

‘Spot on.’

The nurse groans and goes to the door. ‘I am going out to pick up supplies from the hospital. Go up there and don’t let any of them leave the rooms I have put them in.’

Redheart trots away. Lucas watches her leave. He starts tilting his head a bit, but she turns back and glares. The unicorn sighs and looks at the ceiling.

‘But they don’t listen to me...’

James drinks a bottle of medicine. Redheart stands nearby to make sure he drinks it all. The stallion lowers the bottle.

‘Ugh. This tastes like the washroom after a shower,’ James groans. ‘Speaking of which, I am going to need a helping hoof. Well, just one to the washroom. I can think of at least three Elements of Harmony and two former Elements of Harmony that would be very upset if you helped in the washroom. Although, you are a nurse so they might understand...’

‘You might have to wait a bit on using the washroom. Del has a bit of a stomach flu, but she made it there in time... barely.’

Del gallops past the room as fast as a changeling can gallop.

‘Go to the panel by the closet. Hit “C” then pick which room you want cleaned. Everything inside will be refreshed to near-clean room conditions instantly. That’s why Rei won’t catch what I have since I put quarantine fields up in our rooms.’

‘Wait. What?’

‘There is an electrostatic field in each room that traps and removes potential contagens. I set them up in our rooms, and one to track you around the house. Don’t want our caretaker getting sick.’

‘You could have told me that before I got both of you medicine to prevent Del’s stomach flu!’

‘Oh. Sorry. I’ll pay you back.’

Redheart sighs. ‘It is all right. We have kept plenty of medicine on hoof since the baked bads incident.’

‘By the way, Rei needs the latest issue of her favorite magazine. You might need to pick it up from the store across the street. Also, her yuri comics she ordered without me knowing should have arrived, too.’

‘Don’t tell her that!’ Rei shouts from her room.

The nurse groans. ‘So, when I go in there to get her bottle of medicine, what is it that you need that you’re not telling me?’

‘I’m fine. Perfectly fine.’

Redhearts groans again and trots out of the room. Del starts hobbling past before turning and dashing to the washroom again.

James stands next to Rei’s bed and holds her hoof. Redheart runs the sonic screwdriver over the young mare’s remaining leg casts. The casts crack and fall off.

‘Yatta!’ Rei cheers stretching her free legs. ‘I can’t wait to be moving again!’

The pegasus rolls off the bed and immediately screams in pain as her legs give out. The adults groan and help her into bed.

‘Your muscles are a little atrophied,’ Redheart explains. ‘Let me get your father back to bed, and we can start exercising them again.’

‘Take all the time you need,’ Rei replies. ‘There might be something I need to take care of first.’ She glances down then up at her dad. ‘Nothing!’

James snorts and grumbles, ‘You just got out of your casts, and your first thought is doing that?’

Rei looks down and squeaks.

‘Rei, you have to give yourself some time to heal first. You have done a marvelous job resisting so far. I am sure you can wait until you are fully healed.’

The young mare sighs,’ Yes, daddy.’

‘Good. Now, be gentle on your legs until Nurse Redheart returns. You don’t want to injure them again so soon.’

Rei nods in agreement then lays back in bed, stretching her hind legs under the covers a bit. Redheart moves beside James and gives him somepony to lean on as they return to his room. When they get to his bed, the stallion lets out a big groan.

‘I just don’t get what is wrong with her.’

‘Mr Wanderer, it is fine for her to do those sorts of things, even now. There is no reason she should have to hold back.’

‘I have walked in on her more than ten times since she started living here. She didn't even stop...’

Redheart gasps, ‘Oh, my.’

‘Even though it is normal behaviour, just knowing she does that is more than I want to know. Redheart, it has been well over two weeks since she first left on the adventure that caused her accident. I know she doesn’t do that around her friends, so it has been well over two weeks since she last did that. I know she found time for herself while we were in Neighpon. Most of us found time for various activities. So, according to what I have heard from her birth parents, this has been the longest time since she was a young filly that she hasn’t clopped. I just hope that delaying the inevitable will get her to do it a lot less.’

The nurse stares at her patient. She growls and narrows her eyes. ‘You’re not really sick, are you?’

‘I have been feeling fine since this morning,’ James laughs. ‘Even with Time Lord diseases, I get over them a lot quicker than I should.’

‘You could have told me before I carried you around the house.’

‘You never asked.’

‘Jerk,’ Redheart snorts. ‘Anyway, I think the cold turkey approach might help her get those urges under control. It is really something the two of you should talk about yourselves.’

‘We have. We have several times.’ The stallion hangs his head. ‘I have asked every female authority in her life to to help me, but even they couldn’t get her to cut back. Please. You and Daring are the only mares I know that were raised without mothers, just like Rei is now. Please, Miss Redheart. Any advice would be incredibly helpful.’

The nurse takes a deep breath. She looks at the stallion in front of her. He appears to be on the verge of tears.

‘I am guessing you have more questions than just how to keep her hooves from between her legs.’ James nods in response. ‘And you have questions about Del, too?’ She gets another nod. Redheart sighs. ‘I’m going to help Rei with her exercises and see if Del needs anything. You think of every question you can, and we’ll start with those once I am done.’ The nurse turns to leave. ‘And since you are feeling better, I made a list of things I was hoping to pick up for dinner. Just make sure you wear a mask in case you are still contagious, Mr Wanderer.’

‘You know, you can call me James, Miss Redheart.’

‘Susan. Susan Redheart. Tell anypony, and you’ll be the one in the casts next.’

James laughs and follows Redheart out before they go to their tasks.

James trots out of his room when he hears several ponies scampering up the stairs. He smiles and laughs when he sees the Cutie Mark Crusaders, as well as Applejack and Rarity, trot into his home.

‘So great to see all of you!’ the stallion greets, hugging the two mares. ‘How can I help you?’

‘We’re actually here fer the youngins,’ Applejack replies.

‘We wanted to make Rei a gift since she got hurt,’ Sweetie Belle starts.

‘But then we heard ‘bout Del gettin’ sick,’ Apple Bloom continues.

‘So we had to make something for her, too,’ Scootaloo finishes.

James laughs. ‘Well, you can go see Rei. She can’t walk much yet, but I know she’ll be happy for the visitors. As for Del... She’s a bit of a mess right now. Her stomach bug is hitting her worse than expected. Remember: Don’t eat pizza left on the ground for a week.’

The fillies nod in agreement while the mares facehoof. The fillies look at each other, nod and gallop to Rei’s room.

‘Are you sure it is safe letting them loose while Del is still ill?’ Rarity asks.

‘No worries. We are in full quarantine mode. If I were still sick with the pony pox, I could lick your face and you wouldn’t get sick.’ James pauses for a moment before turning to Applejack. ‘No.’

Rarity snickers.

‘Ah didn’ say nothin’!’ Applejack looks at Rarity. ‘And y’all stop thinkin’ thoughts ya shouldn’ have!’

Before they can argue more, Redheart comes out of Del’s room. She looks very angry.

‘How do you miss a bin that big? Seriously!’ The nurse stomps over to James. ‘If this keeps up, I am going to have to quit being a nurse and become a clerk. Three hundred bits a week sounds really good right now.’

‘I take it Little Del isn’t doing too well,’ Rarity guesses.

‘Three hundred a week?!’ Applejack is aghast. ‘Ah might have t’ get out o’ the Apple business.’

‘Most of that is to keep Lucas silent about certain secrets I have shared with only my friends.’

‘I wouldn’t mind three hundred a week to be your friend,’ Rarity states.

‘Sweetie Belle still thinks it is a “kissing game”, right?’

‘Then again, some friendships are priceless.’

Redheart groans and hangs her head. ‘I am not washing her again. I don’t know how you shave a changeling, but I am willing to find out.’

‘She knows!’ Rarity gasps.

‘Hard not to find out when she passes out right in front of you in a pile of her own mess!’ The nurse nods towards James. ‘He might claim there is an quarantine field, but I recommend bathing in disinfectant just in case.’

‘She can’t be that bad. Ah remember one time Apple Bloom had...’

‘I was working that night. She’s worse.’

‘What about the time Sweetie found the cat food?’

Redheart shakes her head. ‘Once her stomach was pumped, it was done. Del must have a black hole in her or something.’

‘Quasar,’ The Wandering Physicist corrects.

Redheart turns and stares at the stallion with an intense ferocity. ‘You are taking care of them for the rest of the day. I am taking a bath and staying there!’

The frustrated mare grumbles to herself as she trots to the washroom and slams the door. Nopony knows how to react.

‘I’m going to check on the kids,’ Rarity quickly states before dashing away.

James and Applejack stand nervously together.’

‘So, uh...’ Applejack starts.

‘I am not going to lick your face.’

‘Ah wasn’ gonna ask that!’

‘Almost there, Rei! You can do it!’ Fluttershy cheers.

Rei struggles and takes a step up the stairs leading to her home. Behind her, James is ready to catch the unsteady pegasus if she falls, and Fluttershy is flying above to support and cheer her on. Rei reaches the top of the stairs and immediately sits down.

‘No more for now,’ the young mare pants. ‘I need a break.’

‘Are your legs getting sore?’ Fluttershy worries. ‘Are we upsetting your wings? Oh, no! We are upsetting your wings, and they won’t heal properly.’

‘No,’ Rei laughs, ‘we have just been climbing all day, and I am tired. I want to lay down for a bit.’

‘You definitely earned it,’ James agrees. ‘I think we have earned a break for now.’

‘That was the biggest workout you got in months, isn’t James?’ Fluttershy teases.

‘Too tired to respond.’

Rei stands and trots to her room. ‘Will you lay with me, mommy?’

Fluttershy blushes and flies after Rei. James groans and trots to the couch. Redheart trots from Del’s room and sits by her host.

‘Well, she hates me now,’ the nurse comments.

‘You actually cut her mane?’

‘Just a bit so that it doesn’t get in the way, but those fangs are looking really sharp.’

‘Average span of a stomach bug is coming to an end soon. It is only for a bit.’

Redheart groans. ‘Right. And how is my original patient?’

‘She is taking a break. She is getting tired of the stairs, though.’

‘It is the perfect workout to get her muscles back to full strength. If she wants to change it up a bit, take her out tomorrow for a walk around the district. I am sure her friends will be excited to see her alive and well.’

‘Speaking of which...’

‘I am scanning her wings every night. Maybe after her walk, if her trainer is available. I don’t want her out there flying on her own.’

‘She will be. Don’t worry,’ James assures. ‘And if all else fails, we have Rainbow Dash.’

Redheart rolls her eyes. ‘Scootaloo or Pound Cake first, then Rainbow Dash.’

Fluttershy giggles as she trots from Rei’s room. ‘I heard that.’

‘Ready for round two?’ James asks.

‘No, I think she is done for today,’ Fluttershy replies. ‘I’m just getting her a drink.’

‘Fluttershy, would you mind staying for the night?’ Redheart asks. ‘Rei really perks up when you are around.’

The pegasus blushes and tries hiding behind her mane. ‘I don’t know. I don’t want to be in the way.’

‘You know there is always room for you,’ James says with a smile.

Fluttershy smiles back. ‘Well, if that is the case...’

The pegasus giggles again and goes to the kitchen.

‘Hell of a surprise,’ James comments.

‘I am ready to give Rei a talk tonight. Fluttershy can help keep her calm enough to listen.’

James nods in agreement. ‘I’ll notify your next of kin.’

‘Right,’ Redheart groans. ‘Just got to find a way to make you hate me, and I’ll have hit the jackpot.’

‘Rei is a little stubborn, but she is also logical. She’ll come around. She did with Full Moon.’ James hops up. ‘Anyway! Fluttershy had the right idea. One large glass of carrot juice coming right up.’

‘About time you eat right,’ Redheart and a passing Fluttershy grumble.

‘Actually, it is for Del. If she didn’t need so-called “healthy” fluids, it would have been thrown out so fast, it would have covered Rei’s shop.’

The two mares groan at the stallion and silently agree to give him a lecture, too.

Rei happily trots up the stairs of The Power Block after a day out visiting her friends. Fluttershy and Lucas were so nice in helping her get around. Redheart’s promise that her wing casts will come off when she gets home made the decision to stay out or come back early a tough one. Rei is ready to get her casts off and finally...

‘SURPRISE!’

Rei screams and jumps backwards, landing on Fluttershy.

‘Surprise!’ Pinkie shouts a second later. ‘Ah shoot!’

‘I did warn you that Pinkie and Stormy wanted to throw you a party,’ James laughs.

‘We used your dad’s magic box to set up while you were out,’ Pinkie explains. ‘Pretty sneaky, right?’

Rei looks around at the decorations, the treats, all of her friends. She smiles, trots to Stormy and Pinkie and gives them a big hug.

‘I love you guys so much.’
…

With her wings free and a party in her honor, Rei is having a blast. On the other hoof, Redheart is taking a break from the celebration to check on Del. The young changeling is able to keep down the punch and cake and is curled up to try to sleep. The nurse gets up to leave, but the door is blocked.

James motions to follow. ‘Come with me.’

The two ponies make their way around the party to the TARDIS. James starts inputting commands on the console.

‘So, I promised you a gift for helping me out.’

‘You don’t have to take me anywhere,’ the nurse sighs. ‘Really.’

‘I’m not taking you anywhere. I am putting you somewhere.’

‘Great,’ Redheart groans. She sees a bag sitting on a nearby chair. ‘What’s that?’

‘Oh. I’ll be dropping that in your home on my way back. Consider it a tip for all of the hard work you put in.’

Redheart opens the bag. It is full of bits. ‘That is more than I make in year!’

‘Nurses are one of the most underrated professions.’

‘Th-th-tha...’

‘Don’t thank me yet.’

James stops the TARDIS and opens the doors to a nightclub. A lone earth pony stallion is watching the crowds while he sips a drink.

‘His name is Pascal H Perl. He works as a freelance programmer for a firm in Canterlot so he has very flexible hours. He enjoys stargazing, rainy afternoons, and pink manes get his back leg thumpin’.’

Redheart stares out of the TARDIS at the stallion.

‘Go get him, Sus.’

James gives Redheart a bump out of the time machine. She turns back to growl, but there is nothing behind her. She takes a deep breath and trots up to the table.

‘Mind if I join you?’ Redheart asks, putting on her best smile.

Pascal looks up. His eyes go wide and his hind leg starts tapping his seat.

‘I take that as a “yes”,’ Redheart laughs as she sits.

Bonus Scene

Author's Note

Story Timeline: First full appearance of Nurse Redheart. Rei's clop habits start getting curbed.

Story Event: I know Rei took a quicker to heal than she should realistically, but Rainbow Dash was in bed for a few days when she busted her wing. To balance that, Del was sick for the appropriate time for her illness. You can chalk Rei's healing up as another gift from her parents as well.

Sad Fact: If you see me using the phrase 'I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine.' anywhere...

Sweet Sorbet

Main Characters: Stormy, Lemon Sorbet, Sweetie Belle
Cameos: Rarity, Rei, Del
Original Start Date: October 21, 2012

Stormy stands on the platform at Ponyville station. Beside him, a bright yellow unicorn filly with a yellow-orange mane tied back with a blue bow looks up at the young stallion. Before them, Blackberry Sorbet leans out of a train window.

‘Thanks a lot, Stormy,’ his father says. ‘This wasn’t how I had wanted you to meet your sister.’

‘Whatever,’ the young stallion replies. ‘I am happy to help.’

‘Great,’ Blackberry sighs. ‘Ever since her mother left us, business trips have been hard for Lemon and me.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Stormy assures. ‘We’ll have fun. I’ll keep her safe. Giant deranged gods of chaos don’t attack every day. Only every other day.’

Blackberry laughs. ‘As long as you get along, it will be good.’ He leans out of the window and reaches down. ‘Have fun with Stormy, Lemon. I am sure you’ll have a great time.’

Lemon takes her father’s hoof. ‘Have a good trip, daddy. I’ll do my best.’

The train whistle sounds. The siblings back away and wave as the train pulls away. Stormy lifts Lemon’s saddlebag and starts to trot away. Lemon follows after her brother.

‘Are we really related?’ Lemon asks.

‘We have the same dad, don’t we?’ Stormy replies. ‘If you are really concerned, I know somepony we can ask.’

‘That is all right. I trust you.’

‘That makes one of us.’

‘What?’

Stormy laughs and shows his sister around town.

The two unicorns arrive at Carousel Boutique in the mid-afternoon. There are no crowds, so Stormy is free to give Lemon a brief tour. At the end of the tour, he leads her to his room and sets her bag on his bed.

‘And this is my room,’ the young stallion says. ‘You’ll be staying in here. You can have my bed.’

‘Where will you sleep?’ Lemon asks. ‘I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.’

‘I’ll just crash on the couch. No big.’

‘What about that other room you showed me? It didn’t look like anypony was using it. I can stay there.’

‘That is Sweetie Belle’s room.’

‘Well, she wasn’t using it. At the very least you should use it.’

Stormy shakes his head. ‘It is Sweetie Belle’s room. I don’t want to invade her privacy. Don’t worry about me. I just want to make you comfortable.’

‘Fine,’ Lemon sighs. She looks around. ‘What is there to do around here?’

‘I have some games and my music,’ Stormy offers. ‘If Sweetie were in, you could play with her.’

Rarity trots into the room, levitating several designs in front of her.

‘Stormy, I need your opinion on...’ The mare notices Lemon and gasps. ‘Is this your little sister? She is so adorable!’

Lemon blushes and looks down. ‘Thank you, ma’am.’

‘And so polite, too. I wish my sister were like that.’

‘She is,’ Stormy groans. ‘Anyway, Rarity, this is Lemon Sorbet. Lemon, this is Rarity. She is the pony who helped take care of me all of these months.’

‘It is nice to meet you, Miss Rarity,’ Lemon greets.

‘She is so sweet. Where are you taking her to celebrate?’

‘What?’

‘Well, I know we don’t have much in town, but you have to take her somewhere fancy as a get to know her brother celebration. Oh! How about I invite Sweetie Belle, and we do a little sister/older sibling thing?’

Both siblings groan.

Rarity laughs and trots out of the room. ‘It is a date then.’

Lemon looks up at her brother.

‘Yes, it is always like this.’ Stormy replies.

Both siblings sigh.

After dinner, Stormy and Lemon sit in his room. Neither notice a small white muzzle peeking into the room. Lemon kicks at the bed a bit.

‘So, um...’ Stormy mumbles.

‘You have a nice family,’ Lemon says, still playing with the bed.

‘Thanks. I am certain they like you, too.’ Stormy leans back in his chair a bit. ‘I’m sorry if I am not that entertaining a brother.’

‘It is fine. I was born after our dad made it big. I have only had private tutors so far. I never really played with other ponies.’

‘At least you didn’t get all of the negative social pressure. Even with my friends, we aren’t exactly the popular students.’

Lemon smiles at her brother. ‘I think you are pretty handsome, and you’re easily the smartest pony I know. I don’t see why everypony doesn’t like you.’

Stormy laughs. ‘Thanks. You’re sweet. Trust me. It is a lot scarier world when you have to deal with other ponies with different views than yours.’

Lemon laughs. ‘Then I hope this trip doesn’t scare me off of other ponies. I’ve been wanting to ask dad to let me go to regular school.’

‘Regular regular school or regular private school?’

‘What’s the difference?’

‘One is full of ponies as rich as you are but infinitely more stuck up. The other is full of ponies about as well off as me but more willing to take a swing at you for not liking the same bands as you.’

‘They can’t be all bad.’

Stormy sighs. ‘Well, Rei, Inkie and Image are nice, but there aren’t enough exceptions to prove the rule.’

Lemon leaps from the bed and is caught by Stormy. ‘Hey! Cheer up! How about I make you my special peanut butter and fudge ice cream? If we start now, it will be ready in the morning.’

‘You really don’t live up to your name, do you?’

‘When life gives you lemons, you make ice cream! You should know that, Strawberry.’

Stormy laughs and sets his sister down. ‘Okay. Let’s see what we have on hoof, just in case I need to make a trip to the store.’

The next day. Stormy works his regular shift while Lemon sits on the floor coloring. Stormy looks up from his hoofheld game.

‘Are you sure you are okay with me working?’ Stormy asks. ‘I can ask Sweetie what her friends are up to or we can ask my friends if they want to do something.’

‘It is okay,’ Lemon repiles. ‘I know how important working is. Daddy would bring me to work when my foalsitter or tutors were sick.’

The bell over the door chimes. The two unicorns look to see Rei and Del trot in.

‘Stormy-kun!’ Rei greets.

‘Mr Stormberry,’ Del says, bowing.

‘Hey, Rei. Here for your...’

‘KAWAII!’ Rei squeals and grabs Lemon in a big hug. ‘You have the second cutest little sister!’

‘Del isn’t your sister,’ Stormy groans.

‘I know that, silly. I was talking about Alba-tan.’

‘Are you making up ponies again?’

‘Hmpf!’ Rei sets Lemon down. ‘Just for that, I am not letting you watch my fitting.’

Stormy shudders. ‘Please don’t remind me about prom. I am still mad at you and Image for convincing me to go.’

‘AWW! Trixie will come for you. I just know she will.’

Stormy sighs and grumbles to himself.

‘You know The Great and Powerful Trixie!’ Lemon gasps, staring at her brother in awe.

‘She’s his fillyfriend,’ Rei answers for her friend. ‘They have sexy times together.’

‘Don’t tell my little sister that!’

‘You are the coolest big brother ever!’

Stormy groans. A second groan joins his. He looks over to see Sweetie Belle trotting into the room.

‘Thanks for inviting me to the party,’ Sweetie grumbles.

‘Sorry. I thought you were still sleeping,’ Stormy replies.

‘I was until Rarity’s first client arrived. She just doesn’t stop squealing.’

‘Prom is very important.’ Rei nods. ‘Inkie and I have big plans.’

‘No, you don’t,’ Stormy counters.

‘Well, we could have big plans.’

Stormy examines his friend. ‘Yeah. You’re too scared to do anything more than kissing.’

‘Don’t say that in front of your little sister!’

‘What comes after kissing?’ Sweetie asks.

The other ponies, and Del, avoid answering the filly. There is noise on the stairs as Rarity comes down with with a young mare about Rei’s and Stormy’s age. She is a pale yellow pegasus with a golden mane. She is giggling excitedly.

‘Now, Miss Drops, your dress is but one of many I am going to be working on. I will contact you when it is ready,’ Rarity tells her client.

‘Thank you so much, Miss Rarity!’ Sunshine Drops cheers. ‘I can’t wait to see it when it is done.’ She turns to leave and sees everypony gathered in the lobby. She steps past, winking at Stormy. ‘See you at school, Stormy.’

Stormy groans. Rei trots over to Rarity.

‘Sorry for keeping you waiting,’ Rarity apologizes. ‘Shall we get this over with?’

‘Hai!’ Rei cheers. ‘Stormy-kun?’

Stormy gives one last groan before following his friends upstairs. The three fillies remain in the lobby. Del yawns and scratches an ear with a hind leg. Sweetie Belle looks around.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Just coloring,’ Lemon replies, levitating a crayon. ‘Just something simple for Stormy. Nothing too fancy.’

Sweetie trots over and looks. Her jaw drops at the near photo likeness of Stormy on the paper.

‘I still need to work on the shading, and I don’t think I got the shape of his scar right. Do you know how he got it? He didn’t want to tell me last night.’

‘Hmpf. It is not how good the drawing is. It is the feeling behind it,’ Sweetie snorts.

‘Del thinks crayons taste funny, and they make her waste weird colors.’

The unicorns give the pegasus a disgusted look. Del leans over and starts preening her wings.

‘Whatever. Is your ice cream ready yet?’

‘Maybe. I’ll have to check,’ Lemon hedges. ‘But we can’t have it until Stormy wants to. I made it for him.’

‘Fine!’ Sweetie groans. ‘I am going out to play with my friends.’

‘Can I come?’

‘Don’t you need Stormy’s permission first?’

‘He said I could spend the day with you if I wanted. I really should meet new ponies and get to know everypony in case I visit more often.’

Sweetie shudders. ‘Fine! Come on, Del. Let’s go find the others.’

Del spits out a ball of gunk. ‘Right away, Cutie Belle!’

‘Wait!’ Lemon cries, levitating a piece of paper. ‘We should leave a note so they don’t worry.’

Sweetie groans. ‘UGH! Just hurry up! I know my friends will be really busy.’

Scootaloo lays on the deck outside of the Crusaders Clubhouse. Below her, Apple Bloom lazily swings in the tire swing.

‘Any good idea’s yet?’ Apple Bloom asks.

‘Not a one. It seems like we tried everything.’

‘Let’s hope Sweetie Belle has some idea what to try next.’

On cue, their friend comes galloping up. Del and Lemon gallop up behind her. Once they are with the others, Del starts chewing under a wing.

‘Sorry I’m late,’ Sweetie apologizes. ‘Stormy’s sister insisted on coming.’

Lemon bows. ‘It is a pleasure to meet you.’

‘You’re related to Stormy?’ Scootaloo asks. ‘But you don’t seem weird at all.’

‘You just have to get to know me,’ Lemon laughs.

Sweetie rolls her eyes. ‘Anyway, let’s get to crusading!’

‘Crusading?’

‘We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders!’ Scootaloo cheers.

‘And ain’t gonna stop ‘til we have our cutie marks!’ Apple Bloom adds.

‘Oh.’ Lemon backs away. ‘I guess I am not cut out to join you. I already have my cutie mark.’

The other look at Lemon’s flank.

‘Is that a bowl of ice cream?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘Yeah. My talent is making ice cream.’

‘Whoa, whoa, whoa. Y’all can make ice cream? Why didn’ anypony tell me this befer!’ Apple Bloom shouts.

‘It is not that hard. If we had all of the ingredients on hoof, I could use some of these apples to show you how to make apple ice cream.’

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stare at Lemon in shock. The earth pony lifts her into their wagon while Scootaloo jumps to her scooter and tosses the unicorn Sweetie’s helmet.

‘Let’s roll!’ Scootaloo flaps her wings and rides off with her passengers in tow.

Sweetie Belle stares as her friends disappear in the distance. Del looks after them as well.

‘Cutie Belle not going too?’ Del asks.

‘Cutie Belle not getting treated how Cutie Belle should,’ the young unicorn growls as she gallops after her friends.

Lemon and Sweetie Belle trot home after a day out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. After filling Apple Bloom’s freezer with freshly made ice cream, they proceeded to fill Scootaloo’s freezer at her home. Except for Sweetie Belle, all of the fillies, especially Del once she learned what they were doing, were fascinated with making ice cream. Despite her best efforts, Lemon is having a hard time getting Sweetie Belle to like her. Sweetie Belle stomps into Carousel Boutique, leaving Lemon to get the door.

‘There are my gals,’ Stormy calls. ‘How was your day?’

Sweetie looks up at the older unicorn. ‘It was awful. We didn’t do anything fun, and I still don’t have my cutie mark!’

‘It wasn’t all bad,’ Lemon argues. ‘We made a ton of ice cream with your friends. They were really excited about that.’

‘Big deal. It is not like we can eat any of it anyway.’

‘You’re just upset because you got your mane caught in the mixer. Twice. We should have the ice cream we made last night.’

‘Yeah. The ice cream you made last night,’ Sweetie grumbles as she stomps out of the room.

‘Did I do something wrong?’ Lemon whimpers.

‘I think she might be threatened that you are getting more attention than she is. Let me go talk to her.’

Stormy gets up and heads to Sweetie’s room. The filly is laying on her bed with her pillow over her head. Stormy trots over and sits on the bed.

‘You okay, Sweetie Belle?’

‘Everypony hates me! Even you hate me!’

‘We don’t hate you. Why would you think that?’

‘Nopony wants to do anything with me anymore! All you want to do is play with your stupid sister. Nopony cares about Sweetie Belle.’

‘We still love you, Sweetie Belle. And... please don’t talk that way about my sister. I might be new to this “big brother” thing, but that still really hurts my feelings.’

‘You’re not new to it at all! You had me this whole time! You just replaced me...’

‘You haven’t been replaced by anypony. If you really think of me as a big brother, then think of Lemon as a new sister.’

‘I don’t want a new sister. I want my real sister and my brother.’

‘Sweetie... You know that we can’t always be together forever. Eventually, you and I will have to leave and do our own things. Just because we will live apart, doesn’t mean we will grow apart.’

‘We won’t?’

‘Right. I am just learning about a family I never knew I had and learning to integrate them into my life. I want you and Rarity to be part of that integration so that my new family and my old family can become the same family.’

Sweetie grumbles and covers her head further.

‘Of course, you are free to follow your own path. I don’t want to force anything on you. Just try to be nice to my sister. And don’t be too jealous. Once we get to know each other better, life can be as mundane as normal.’

‘Right.’ Sweetie thinks. ‘Wait. Free... Free.’ She sits up, impaling her pillow on her horn. ‘That’s it!’

‘If you are thinking of something dangerous and stupid, I am telling Rarity right now.’

Sweetie Belle laughs and pats Stormy on the back. ‘Don’t worry your little head. Everything will be fine.’

Stormy groans and gets up.

‘Uh, Stormy. A little help please?’

Sweetie Belle tries forcing the pillow off her horn. Stormy laughs and levitates it free. A torrent of feathers covers the filly.

Sweetie Belle gets up nice and early to put her plan into action. She trots downstairs and heads straight to Stormy’s room to find her target in bed, cuddling her brother. Sweetie growls and stomps.

‘Stormy never wants to cuddle with me...’

‘That’s ‘cause you never ask.’

Sweetie jumps a bit. Stormy laughs, scoots over and taps the bed.

‘Hop up. I can make room.’

Sweetie frowns for a moment then climbs into bed. She sighs when she gets a big hug.

‘What are you doing up so early?’ the young stallion asks.

‘There was something I wanted to do with Lemon today, and I want to get started early.’

‘Anything you want to tell me or will you be getting in trouble for it later?’

‘We’re not doing anything bad! I promise!’

‘How come I don’t believe you?’

Sweetie whimpers. Stormy sighs and gets up.

‘Since you’re up, I’ll make a special breakfast. Would you like that?’

Sweetie nods. Stormy laughs and kisses both fillies on the forehead before trotting out of his room. Sweetie lays in bed for a moment before rolling over. She breathes deep the spot Stormy was just laying in before trying to get up, but she gets caught in another hug.

‘Good morning, Sweetie Belle,’ Lemon says with a smile.

‘You’re up too?’

‘Mhm. Stormy isn’t the only one with odd sleep habits. So, what is it you wanted to do today?’

‘Oh, uh, I know this cool adventure spot I wanted to show you. It is lots of fun.’

‘Sounds neat. Call your friends, and we’ll go after breakfast.’

‘It should just be the two of us. Then I can show you the cool secrets they don’t know about.’

Lemon laughs and hugs tighter. ‘Sounds really neat now. I can’t wait.’ She nuzzles Sweetie’s back. ‘You are really cuddly. Like a big marshmallow.’

Sweetie groans and tries breaking free.

Sweetie Belle leads Lemon down a dirt path towards a forest. Fluttershy’s cottage disappears over a hill behind them. The yellow unicorn stops just outside while the white one bravely marches forward.

‘A-are you sure this is safe?’ Lemon asks.

‘Sure it is,’ Sweetie Belle lies. ‘My friends and I go in the Everfree Forest all the time.’

‘I-it looks very scary.’

‘That is just what it wants you to think.’

‘W-w-why would we go in there?’

‘Our friend Zecora lives in there. She’s a really cool zebra.’

‘Zebras are nice...’

‘See! You have nothing to worry about. Come on!’

Sweetie Belle gallops ahead. Lemon looks around then gallops after her. The creatures in the forest start to stir.
…

Hours later. The two fillies are tired of trotting through the forest. Lemon is starting to fall behind, not used to all of the exercise she is getting. Sweetie is extremely worried that they have not made it to Zecora’s hut yet.

‘Sweetie Belle, are we almost there?’

‘Of course we are!’ Sweetie claims for the seventh or eighth time that day. ‘What? Do you think I am lost or something?’

‘Well... No... But that has to be at least the fourth time we past the Nightmare Moon statue, unless there is more than one of them.’

Sweetie stops. ‘What?’

‘The statue back there. There is more than one, right?’

‘That’s not even... Oh no.’

Lemon steps up to Sweetie Belle. ‘Are you okay?’

‘We’re lost, okay! We’re not even on the right path to get to Zecora’s! We’re done for.’

‘Calm down! We just have to retrace our steps, and we can get out of here.’

‘Are you not listening! We are lost!’

Lemon growls. ‘Okay... Plan B.’
…

Lemon tries to balance herself on top of the Nightmare Moon statue while she levitates her mobile above her as far as she dares. On the ground, Sweetie Belle huddles near a small campfire. Lemon climbs down from the statue and puts her mobile back in her saddlebag.

‘Well, Plan D is a bust. I’m going to have to tell dad to get a better antenna for the next model. What next?’

‘Can we skip to Plan Zed where we break down and cry because nopony will find us?’

‘We are in a wide open area, and we have the fire sending up a trail of smoke. When somepony comes looking for us, we’re easy to find.’

‘Also easier for the monsters to find us...’

‘Stormy will find us. I know he will. He knows where to look since you left that note, right?’

‘It told him we were going to the clubhouse. He’ll be looking in the wrong remote location.’

Lemon takes a deep breath. ‘Well... We have been out so long it is almost dark. Somepony has to be worried about us by now.’

‘This wasn’t supposed to happen like this...’ Sweetie moans.

Lemon sits by the fire. ‘I know. I know. We were just supposed to have a quick trip to see your friend.’

‘And I was supposed to ditch you on the way back...’

‘WHAT!’

‘It was going to be after we got to Zecora’s! It would have been too late for you to head back, and she doesn’t travel the forest at night. You would have been safe with her, and I would have had Stormy all to myself again.’

‘YOU BITCH!’

Lemon rams Sweetie Belle into the statue. She pins the other unicorn to the statue with her hooves.

‘What is your problem! Why are you being so mean to me! Is it because I gave you more ice cream than the others? Is it because I being extra polite around you? How about when I shared my breakfast with you? Or is it because I am not licking your hooves every time they get dirty? Tell me!’

Sweetie Belle pushes back.

‘Apple Bloom isn’t the only one with good moves.’

The white unicorn grabs the yellow one’s foreleg, spins her around and slams her into the statue.

‘You want to know why I hate you!’ Sweetie shrieks, her voice cracking horribly. ‘You are stealing my brother! Stormy is my brother! You can’t have him!’

‘He isn’t even related to you, you idiot!’

‘I know that... It is just that we do all of this stuff together, and he is so sweet to me. And then you have to show up and steal it all away!’

Lemon pushes Sweetie back. ‘I am only going to be here for a couple more days. It is not like sharing MY brother with me wouldn’t be something a good host would do. Besides... You’re the lucky one...’

‘Oh, no you don’t! You don’t get to be jealous of me!’

‘Why the buck not!’ Lemon screams. ‘You get to be around my brother all the time. You have great friends. You also have an amazing sister.’ She sits and looks away. ‘You think it is easy being me. You don’t get it at all.’

‘Whatever. Just go back to your money. Maybe you can buy a brother and friends.’

Lemon growls and tackles Sweetie Belle. The two fillies roll in the mud at the base of the statue, pulling each other’s manes and trying to bite each other’s hooves. There is a rustle in the trees around them, and a large, wooden paw breaks up the fight. The two fillies look around to see they are surrounded by at least a dozen timberwolves. The fillies scream and back themselves to the statue. The snarling wooden beasts close on their prey.

‘Please tell me that your tutors taught you more magic than Twilight Sparkle,’ Sweetie Belle begs.

‘I barely know the basic levitation spell!’ Lemon shouts back.

Sweetie Belle screams and starts crying. Lemon growls and stands up.

‘Stormy wouldn’t go down without a fight, and I won’t either!’

Lemon charges a magic shot on her horn. The lead timberwolf starts walking forward. A bolt of lightning strikes in front of the beast, sending it back with the pack.

‘You did it!’ Sweetie cheers.

‘That wasn’t me...’

Rei drops from the sky and hovers over the fillies. The wolves snarl at the new pony.

Rei looks back over her shoulder. ‘Hi, evil biological mommy!’ she says to the statue. ‘Girls, stand back.’

‘We are back,’ Sweetie replies.

‘Then try not to get in the way.’

Rei charges her electric affinity on her wings and lifts higher. She gives a mighty flap and sends a wave of electricity from her wings that launches the timberwolves deep into the forest.

‘Climb on!’ Rei shouts as she drops low enough for the fillies to reach.

Sweetie and Lemon leap and grab a wing. Rei struggles with the extra weight before taking to the sky and flying away. She lands outside of Fluttershy’s cottage where Fluttershy and Stormy are waiting. Rei closes her now-muddy wings, dropping her passengers and trots towards the cottage.

‘I’m going to take a bath, okay, mommy?’

‘Okay, dear,’ Fluttershy replies.

‘Thanks for the help, Fluttershy,’ Stormy says. He turns and scowls at the fillies. ‘I can take it from here.’

Fluttershy nods and follows Rei inside. Lemon and Sweetie Belle shrink away from Stormy. The fact that he is taller than the average unicorn makes him look more menacing in the growing darkness. The young stallion snorts and turns away. The fillies follow a short distance behind.

‘Sweetie Belle, how many times have we told you not to go into the Everfree Forest?’

‘I’m sorry...’

‘And Lemon. Uh, don’t ever go into the Everfree Forest.’

‘I didn’t want to in the first place...’

‘Lemon! Not important right now.’

Lemon squeaks and falls behind a couple extra steps.

‘You both could have been killed! If Rei hadn’t found you...’

‘We would have been at...’

‘Sweetie!’

The filly falls back beside Lemon.

‘I think the walk back home covered in mud will give you time to think,’ Stormy grumbles. ‘Not to mention Rarity’s reaction...’

The fillies moan.

After explaining everything to Rarity and cleaning the floors as they go, Sweetie Belle and Lemon soak at opposite ends of a bath. Both are staring into the water.

‘Sorry I was a little jealous,’ Sweetie Belle mumbles.

‘A little jealous?’ Lemon snorts.

‘Okay. Very jealous. Sorry, okay?’

‘Apology accepted.’

Lemon splashes in the bath a bit. Sweetie clears her throat.

‘Sorry for being jealous of your relationships, too,’ Lemon sighs. ‘Forgive me?’

‘Only if you forgive me.’

The fillies turn around. They lean in and hug each other.

‘About damn time.’

The fillies look to see Stormy standing at the door. He trots over to the tub.

‘Since you made up and don’t smell of monster droppings anymore, Rarity and I would like you to join us for dinner.’

‘Okay,’ Sweetie agrees.

‘Yes, Stormy.’ Lemon nods.

Stormy smiles and sighs. ‘I have the best little sisters.’

The young stallion leans in and kisses both fillies on the forehead. The fillies laugh, look at each other and nod. They use their magic to pull Stormy into the tub so they can hug him.

‘Two wonderful little sisters...’ Stormy groans as he is assaulted by hugs.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Stormy meets Lemon for the first time.

Story Event: Lemon was modeled on your stereotypical 'Ojoosama' template from your pick of anime. She is polite, well-trained, smart and pretty. Unlike most ojoosama, I have yet to determine a hidden flaw/secret for her (ala Nogizaka Haruka being an otaku). She will have more than an cameo role in Starlight Chronicles so if you like her, look for her to develop more there.

A Surprise Visit

Main Characters: TWP, Fluttershy, Surprise, Twilight, Del,
Cameos: Rei, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Daring Do
Original Start Date: October 26, 2012

Fluttershy happily flits about her yard caring for her animals. She leaves a small pile of seeds for a family of jays. She spreads feed for her chickens and divides stacks of flowers for the grazers. The pegasus even drops off a couple fish for the ferrets living in the nearby stream. Her tasks complete, she heads back to her cottage for a break.

When Fluttershy gets to the cottage door, she immediately senses something is not right. She slowly pokes her head in and looks around.

‘Hello? Is somepony there?’

The cottage is completely empty, and everything is exactly where it should be. The nervous pegasus breathes a sigh of relief and steps forward.

‘SURPRISE!’

Fluttershy screams in terror as a white form drops in front of her.

‘Rei, you know better than to...’ Fluttershy yells before she fully examines the pony in front of her. While the other pony is a white pegasus, she has a curly blonde mane instead of the expected blue mane. The scared pegasus curls into a ball and squeaks, ‘Mother!’

Surprise smiles at her daughter. ‘Been a while since I got you.’ She extends a hoof to help Fluttershy up. Her daughter shrinks away. ‘I don’t have a joy buzzer... this time,’ she sighs.

Fluttershy nervously takes the assistance and stands. ‘Wh-wha-what are you doing here?’

Surprise sighs and trots around the cottage, taking everything in. ‘The team has some downtime, as you might have seen by the trainer you asked for, and I felt that if Spitfire can visit Ponyville at my daughter’s request, then I could spend some time with my lovely daughter as well.’

‘Well, um, I really appreciate you coming and I don’t mind you visiting, but a little warning would have been nice.’

Surprise lifts a vase and puts it down before she sticks her head under the sofa.

‘Uh, can I help you find something?’ Fluttershy asks.

‘Just looking where you are hiding him.’

‘Hiding who? Angel Bunny?’

‘No, silly. Your husband. Where is he?’

‘My...’ Fluttershy realizes the last time she talked with her mother about her personal life. ‘Oh, no.’

[Cue opening theme song]

The ability to outfly a Wonderbolt is an ability countless pegasi dream about and only a hoofful can develop. Some are born with the talent. Some practice for years to perfect their flying. Fluttershy just needs the right motivation, like a baby bird falling from a tree or her mother coming to visit and thinking she is still in a fake marriage that had been broken up months ago.

While the citizens of Ponyville tries to figure out what the hypersonic yellow and pink streak shooting from the edge of town to the middle of the nerd district is, Fluttershy seals herself and James in the stallion’s office in The Power Block. Fluttershy forces the desk to barricade the door before turning to face her friend.

‘Uh... Have you been drinking Inkie’s science experiments again?’ The Nervous Physicist asks.

‘This is no time for jokes!’ Fluttershy shrieks. ‘My mother is in town.’

‘Cool. I’ll tell Rei. She can thank her personally for the physical therapist.’

‘Yes, she can, but more importantly, she, uh...’

Fluttershy squeaks and hides behind her mane.

‘Confidence, Fluttershy. You know you can tell me anything.’

‘Um, well, uh, she...’

‘She what?’

‘Shethinkswe’restillmarried!’

‘Uh, once more with more breathing and whitespace.’

Fluttershy takes a few deep breaths to calm herself before breathing deep. ‘So, you know how I came clean with all of my friends and the town about how I was just pretending to be hurt in order to finally get some quality time with you, and how that ended up causing a bit of a rift between me and Pinkie which I am not quite sure is completely healed? Well, there was one other pony I told about us because I thought it would finally shut her the buck up and get her off my back for once in my bucking life, and that was my mother. But since coming clean, I haven’t been feeling as brave as I did when we were together so I was scared about telling her the truth and may have failed to mention that I was single again when I asked for her help getting a trainer for Rei. Now she is here and thinks we are still married and I am more terrified now than if we were facing a changeling Discord made of dragons and possesed by Nightmare Moon, and I think I just peed on your floor.’

James stares at the hyperventilating pegasus in shock. He goes over and comforts Fluttershy after checking the ground thoroughly.

‘Don’t worry. The floor is completely dry. Let’s just find your mother and explain everything to her.’

‘NO!’ Fluttershy shrieks, the outburst becoming the loudest thing she has said in her life. ‘She is so demanding and controlling and doesn't understand me at all, and she will be very angry at me if she finds out I have been lying to her all this time. Do you know how long it took her to stop nagging me about actually going on a date and having my first kiss? From junior flight camp to last year, after I met you!’ She starts pacing. ‘But now she thinks I am married, and we are living together, and I have a daughter...’ She stops and grabs James. ‘James! Take me!’

‘I think that is what most ponies think we are doing.’

‘Not like that! (Though thanks for the offer. I might take you up on it if I calm down enough.) I mean take me away in your TARDIS. Let’s escape to another planet or galaxy for a few years. By then, I’ll have calmed down enough to face my mother.’

James sighs and kisses Fluttershy on the forehead. ‘We’ll face her together. I’ll give you the courage to say what you need to say. Okay?’

Fluttershy looks down and squeaks, ‘Okay.’

The two ponies remove the barricades blocking the door and step out into the store. They are immediately confronted by Surprise.

‘Is this him? Is this him?’ Surprise asks. ‘Oh! He is so cute! He is so big and strong! What is your name?’

James stares at Surprise in shock. ‘Uh, hi. I am The Wander...’

‘Nice to meet you, Mr Wanderer!’ Surprise grabs James’ hoof and starts shaking it violently. ‘How is Fluttershy treating you? How are you treating her? I bet she has a lot of pent-up energies, if you know what I mean.’

Fluttershy faints at her mother’s public statement.

‘Uh, actually, um...’

‘You can just call me Surprise. Oh! I heard you had a kid. Can I meet her? Where is my lovely granddaughter? Well, not really my granddaughter, but I am sure you and Fluttershy are working on that, right?’

If Fluttershy could faint again, she would. James turns slightly and looks across the street to Neighponese Imports. Surprise looks too and sees Rei. The older pegasus dashes across the street to meet the new faces. James lifts Fluttershy to his back. She is laughing nervously.

‘M-m-moth... M-m-meet J-Ja-Jam...’ the broken pegasus stutters.

James sighs. ‘Let’s get some help while she is distracted...’

James carries Fluttershy to the residence and out of the public spotlight. Lucas cannot help but laugh seeing his boss so flustered.

Twilight glares at Fluttershy while James tries helping the pegasus regain her composure.

‘You didn’t tell your mother?’ the irritated alicorn growls.

‘I-i-i-it sort of slipped my mind,’ Fluttershy stammers.

‘Don’t be so harsh on her,’ James huffs. ‘She had to deal with Rei breaking down, telling all of you, the fight with Pinkie and Rei running away just that first day. It is understandable that she wouldn’t want to face another big source of guilt.’

‘I can understand that,’ Twilight sighs, ‘but she is your mother. She has to know. Do you want me to talk with her?’

‘Talk with who?’ a voice asks from the stairs.

Everypony looks over to see Surprise and Rei trotting into the home.

‘Isn’t obaa-san the greatest!’ Rei cheers.

‘You don’t have to call me that,’ Surprise laughs. ‘Rei is a great kid. You raised her well, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Thank you,’ James replies. ‘I did get some help from my friends, though.’

‘I am sure Fluttershy is a great mother. She has all of the best mothering instincts.’

‘Thank you, mother,’ Fluttershy squeaks.

Surprise looks around the home. ‘So, is this where you live during weekdays or something? Or does it belong to your friend here?’

‘Actually...’ Twilight begins.

‘It is my place,’ James interrupts. ‘Fluttershy stays at her cottage with her animals.’

‘Oh, makes sense. You don’t want her to keep you up all night, if you know what I mean,’ Surprise laughs.

Fluttershy squeaks and hides.

‘Actually...’ Twilight growls.

‘Your housekeeper seems to have a problem with butting in,’ Surprise snorts.

‘I am not their housekeeper!’

Surprise and Twilight growl at each other.

‘You look familiar. Are you related to Twilight Velvet?’ Surprise asks.

‘She is my mother,’ Twilight snorts. ‘Why?’

‘I thought I recognized a bit of her in you. You can always tell a know-it-all buttinsky when you see one.’

‘Well! I was trying to help my friends with a problem, but I don’t want to butt in.’

Twilight pushes her way past Surprise and stomps down the stairs. James gallops after her.

‘Twilight, I’m sorry. I know Fluttershy is too.’

‘I am not upset with either of you. I am...’ Twilight snorts. ‘You are going to tell her, right?’

‘You know we both want this cleared up as soon as possible.’

‘Good. I would hate for something bad to happen like last time.’

Twilight heads out the back of the shop.

‘Wait. Twilight!’ James calls.

‘Yes?’

‘Can you watch Del for me for a bit? I have a feeling things are going to get a little strange until everything is worked out.’

‘You know I have your back.’

‘Good, because she should be home from school any minute now.’

Twilight groans and heads back to the shop. ‘You were just looking for a way to get me to come back and kiss you, weren’t you?’

‘No, but that is an added bonus.’

Twilight sighs and gives James a quick kiss before heading back through the shop to intercept the arriving filly.

Twilight leads Del into the library. The filly steps in and looks around, sniffing.

‘Make yourself at home,’ Twilight offers. ‘Spike will be in Canterlot on business for the next few days, so you can drop your disguise if you want to.’

‘Del is fine,’ she replies as she climbs the center table to sniff the pony sculpture.

‘Do you want a snack or something before starting your homework?’ Twilight looks over as soon as Del licks the carving. ‘Or you can just do that.’

‘Sorry. Del was curious.’ She looks around. ‘When is everypony else getting here?’

‘Oh, right. James tutors Apple Bloom. I tutor Scootaloo twice a week, but tonight is not one of those nights.’

‘Oh. Okay. Del understands.’

Del starts getting out her books and paper. Twilight trots over.

‘Do you want any help or a snack? How about at least a drink?’

‘Del would like a drink. Thank you.’

Twilight sighs as she leaves Del to her work and to get them some snacks.

Fluttershy trots up the stairs to James’ home. She finds the stallion waiting up for her with a warm cup of tea.

‘Thank you,’ Fluttershy sighs as she sips the tea. ‘Mmm. You know just how to make it.’

‘It hasn’t been too long since you had to rush out to feed your animals in the middle of the night,’ James replies. He laughs. ‘Or since you had Rei do it for you.’

The tired pegasus nods. ‘And how are things here? How did my mother react?’

‘I don’t know if you noticed, but you can’t get a word in edgewise with her.’

Fluttershy scowls. ‘I’ve noticed. I’ve noticed for over twenty years.’

‘Every time I tried bringing it up, she would change the topic or get distracted by something.’

‘Where is she now?’

‘She’s in bed. Rei was showing off some of the stuff she learned from Luna...’

‘Thus explaining the light show I saw from my cottage.’

‘And the two of them are pretty worn out.’

‘Great. Those two could create the disaster of the century. Give me Discord again any day,’ Fluttershy grumbles and finishes her tea.

‘I think Rei just likes having somepony to show off for. You know how she is.’

The sleepy pegasus yawns and nods. ‘Do you have a room for me too or am I sleeping with my mother or Rei?’

‘You can stay in any room you like.’

‘Any room, you say?’ Fluttershy grins craftily and heads toward the first bedroom, pausing only to run her tail across its owner’s snout. ‘I think I am ready to take you up on your offer from earlier now.’

James whimpers, briefly considers how his frie... Fluttershy waves her tail again, and James immediately follows her to the bedroom.

Twilight Sparkle wakes in the middle of the night after hearing a strange sound at her bedroom door. She goes to investigate, finding Del scratching at the door. The young changeling has dropped her disguise and is looking around nervously.

‘Del? Are you okay?’

‘Del can’t sleep.’

‘Do you want to stay with me?’ Twilight offers.

Del quickly nods and jumps on the bed. Twilight laughs and climbs back in. The mare is careful as she comforts the changeling before finding Del’s chitin to be less abrasive than she thought. Del whimpers a bit and curls in small ball.

‘Do you want to tell me what is wrong?’

Del shakes her head.

Twilight sighs. ‘It is okay.’ She laughs. ‘You know. I haven’t had a night like this since I started taking care of Spike. He couldn’t sleep in his bed, and he’d end up curled next to me and sucking his tail all night.’

Del whines again. ‘Does Wanderer pony not want Del anymore?’

‘What? No.’

‘Then why doesn’t he want me anymore!’

Twilight hugs Del tight. ‘I told you already. There is a bit of a confusion in his family right now and it is easier for you if you stayed with me. Once everything with Fluttershy and Surprise is worked out you will be right back at home.’

‘I don’t have a home,’ the changeling snorts.

‘Yes, you do.’

‘No, I don’t. Del’s real family was killed. Del’s queen sent her away. Pony queen sent her away. Now, Wanderer pony is sending her away. Nopony wants Del.’

‘I want Del. Sweetie Belle and her friends want Del. Rei wants Del. And, Mr Wanderer wants Del. Everything will be okay. Little bumps like these happen.’

‘Sparkly promises everything will be okay?’

‘Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.’

Del laughs. ‘Del likes Sparkly Twilight.’ She looks up and licks Twilight’s face.

The princess laughs. ‘I like you too, Del. Now, get some sleep.’

Del licks Twilight again before settling down. Twilight sighs and cuddles with her guest.

Surprise follows her daughter around the fields and forests surrounding Ponyville as Fluttershy goes about her daily chores. The constant yawning from the older mare is getting on the younger one’s nerves. To make matters worse, Fluttershy recognizes a familiar cerulean form waiting for her as she trots to her next destination.

‘Good afternoon, Rainbow Dash,’ Fluttershy greets warmly. ‘How can I help you?’

‘Yeah, everypony is talking about the weird yellow and pink blur yesterday,’ Rainbow Dash says. ‘I was wondering if you knew anything about it, your yellow and pinkness.’

Fluttershy laughs nervously. ‘I might know a little.’

‘Dang. These legs aren’t as strong as they used to be,’ Surprise groans as she catches up. ‘Either that or somepony is trotting faster than she needs to.’

‘I wonder why,’ the daughter grumbles.

‘OH! MY! CELESTIA!’ Rainbow Dash gasps. ‘You’re...’

‘SURPRISE!’ the older mare shouts, throwing confetti everywhere.

Fluttershy screams and starts cleaning up the mess before any animals can choke and die.

‘Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh!’ Dash squeals. ‘First Spitfire comes to visit. Now, you. What did I do to deserve this?’

‘Well, I am here for my daughter,’ Surprise replies. ‘Just felt like a family visit.’

Rainbow Dash grabs her friend. ‘Your mother is Surprise! Why didn’t you ever tell me this!’

‘Uh, surprise?’ Fluttershy laughs nervously.

‘Wait a moment. I know you.’ Surprises trots around Rainbow Dash, examining her. ‘You’re Rainbow Dash, right? Yeah. I am literally surprised now. I would have thought you would have made Wonderbolt by now. What gives?’

Dash laughs sheepishly. ‘Well, uh, when you get the wild idea to hook up with Spitfire and Soarin’ at the same time, don’t ignore Soarin’ during and tell him you’ve had better after. He doesn’t really like that.’

Fluttershy groans and shakes her head.

‘Yeah. Soarin’ can be a bit touchy,’ Surprise agrees. ‘Just bring him a pie or twelve and he’ll forgive you. Oh! Just don’t throw them at him. He doesn’t like that either.’

‘Awesome. Awesome to the max.’ Dash pokes Fluttershy. ‘Seriously. Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Yeah. I thought you would want to brag that you have the coolest mother in the world.’

Fluttershy glares and snorts, ‘I would if I did.’

Surprise groans. ‘Oh, here we go. You’re in another of your moods, where you pretend to be grumpy or shy or scared of flying or some other cry for attention.’

‘A mood? Just a mood?!’ Fluttershy locks The Stare on her mother. ‘If you actually paid attention to somepony else for once in your life, you would know we don’t just have “moods” that go against your simple, little attention-hogging spotlight! If you were half the mother you claim to be, you would know that I HATE flying. You would know that I HATE forcing social interaction. You would know that I HATE surprises!’

Surprise steps back. ‘Where is this coming from?’

‘Where! Where! You have to ask where! It is all your fault! You’re the one that was always scaring me as a child. You were the one the forced me to enter flight school early and to go to flight camp. You were the one always forcing me to go to dances and parties and other events when it was clear that I was terrified of new ponies! You never listened to me!’

‘I hope you don’t talk to your daughter this way...’

Fluttershy pushes her mother to the ground. ‘I am a good mother for Rei! You want to know how I know?’ She stands over her mother and leans in close. ‘Because I do exactly the opposite of what you did with me.’

Surprise stares up at Fluttershy, sobbing.

Fluttershy snorts and turns away. ‘If only everypony could see the real Surprise for what she is. Just a pathetic child crying out for attention. I never wanted the attention. It was you.’

The furious pegasus stomps away, returning to her chores. Surprise takes a moment to compose herself before taking Rainbow Dash’s help to stand up.

‘I have never seen her that way...’ Surprise says, trembling.

‘Just be glad your head didn’t explode. I’ve seen it happen.’ Dash replies.

‘What?’

Dash scrunches her face and looks away. ‘Nothing.’

Surprise shakes her head. ‘Is it her husband? But he seems so mellow.’

‘Wait. She is back with Jimmy again?’ Dash asks. Surprise nods her head. ‘If she is back with Jimmy, consider yourself lucky you only got that much. I’ve seen her give a lot worse to ponies she likes a lot more.’

‘I just never knew she felt that way about me.’

Dash shrugs. ‘You just have to know how to read her. She has ways of reacting that most ponies don’t pick up on unless they know her really well.’

‘But... I’m her mother...’

Dash shrugs again. ‘Don’t know what to tell ya. Hey, drinks on me?’

Surprise shakes her head. ‘No. There are some things I need to work out.’

The upset pegasus spreads her wings and takes off. Dash watches Surprise leave before looking in the direction Fluttershy left and chasing after her friend.

Twilight and Del trot through Ponyville after school. The small pegasus rubs against her caretaker as they travel. The alicorn stops in front of Sugarcube Corner and shows her charge in. The pegasus immediately presses her face on the display case and drools.

‘Hi, Twilight! Hi, Del!’ Pinkie greets from the counter. ‘How can I help you?’

‘Hi, Pinkie,’ Twilight replies. ‘We’re just getting a treat since Del was such a good girl at school today.’

‘That is super to hear. Why are you with her and not James?’

Twilight snorts and looks away. ‘Because somepony else is in my way.’

‘Does this have to do with Fluttershy’s mom being in town?’

‘Yeah,’ Twilight huffs. ‘Surprise still thinks that James and Fluttershy are married, so I am taking care of Del until everything works out.’

Pinkie growls. ‘She is telling mean, hurty lies again...’

‘I don’t think so. Both of them seemed really determined to set the record straight, Fluttershy more than James. He could just be the confidence boost she needs to come clean.’

‘She better. I don’t like ponies telling big meany lies like that. Especially my friends.’

‘We know, Pinkie. You have nothing to worry about. Now, Del. Did you find a treat?’ Twilight looks around. ‘Del?’

Twilight and Pinkie look around the store, but Del is nowhere to be found. A crash comes from the kitchen. The two ponies find Del sitting in the middle of several trays of half-eaten baked goods with a pastry froster in her mouth.

Pinkie looks at Twilight. ‘What was that about her being good today?’

Surprise lands at the edge of the Nerd District. She looks towards The Power Block and sighs. The distraught pegasus heads to Neighponese Imports.

‘Ohayo, obaa-san!’ Rei greets.

Surprise winces. ‘Please don’t call me that.’

‘Everything okay?’ Rei goes around the counter and gives Surprise a nuzzle.

‘It is all right... Can I talk to you about Fluttershy for a moment?’

‘Sure. Come on back.’

Rei shows Surprise to the back, taking a moment to stop at the counter.

‘We’re sorry for this,’ Rei tells the customers. ‘Um, we’ll be closed until I get back. Please don't steal. I know where you live.’

Before they can exit, Daring cuts off the two pegasi as she heads into the store. Surprise stops and gasps.

‘Are you..?’

Daring winks. ‘I’ll sign anywhere, but I’m a kisser.’

Surprise’s wings pop up. ‘I’m married and have a child!’

‘Hasn’t stopped me before.’

Surprise squeaks and quickly follows Rei to the back. Daring laughs and heads to work.

After finishing her homework and an early dinner, Del has been allowed to watch some television for the evening. Instead of really watching, the young changeling is in her normal state, licking her wings. Twilight enters her entertainment room and gives Del a queer look.

‘What in the wide world of Equestria are you doing?’ the confused alicorn asks.

‘Del is keeping her wings clean. The dust builds up every few days. See.’

The changeling opens her mouth, revealing a completely brown and grey tongue.

‘I’ve never seen, nor have I done, preening like that. Why don’t you just take a bath?’

‘Del does not like baths.’

‘Not even bubble baths?’

Del perks up. ‘Full Moon has been teaching Del about the fun of bubbly baths.’

‘Good, because I have one ready for you.’

An inpony shriek, being very inpony in nature given the changeling source, echos in the neighborhood around the library as Twilight uses her magic to lift Del. The host carries the screaming changeling to the washroom and drops her in a warm bubble bath. Del glares at Twilight from behind her matted hair. The alicorn trots over, levitating a hairbrush.

‘See? Doesn’t that feel much... WHA!’

Twilight screams as Del quickly reaches from the tub and pulls her in too. The soaking princess rises from the water and glares at the smirking changeling. She smirks and splashes Del, leading to a full-blown water fight.

Across town, a tense dinner is taking place above The Power Block. Fluttershy and Surprise glare at each other across the table. James and Rei nervously watch their guests.

‘So, uh, Rei, how was school?’ James asks, trying to break the tension.

‘It was fine,’ the young mare replies. ‘Lyra brought in Colgate and taught us about good oral hygiene today.’

James facehoofs. ‘Geez. She knows who your parents are already thanks to Octavia. I can’t believe she swabbed your mouth anyway.’

‘Actually, Lyra cackled when it was Stormy’s turn, not mine.’

‘Ah. Targeting the son of the billionaire. Very subtle.’ James takes a bite of his meal. ‘How did you check out?’

Rei frowns and looks away. ‘Colgate said I was due for another cleaning.’

‘So soon!? She just examined you a few weeks ago.’ James groans. ‘I’ll schedule cleanings for you and Del. Maybe then you’ll start taking better care of your teeth.’

‘He’s right, Rei,’ Fluttershy agrees. ‘We have talked about this before.’

‘I thought you didn’t approve of a parent talking with her child,’ Surprise grumbles.

‘Well, mother, the difference between us and Rei and you and me is that Rei is actually allowed to respond, and we actually listen to her and weigh her opinion. We don’t just tell her what to think then leave to do air shows for a week.’

‘Do you think I like always doing air shows?’ Surprise stands and starts pacing. ‘We have a member who is blind as a bat pony. One who has a pathological obsession with baked goods. One who has had so many floozies and fangirls that I swear he is out to collect every STI in Equestria. And a captain who spends more time posing from swimsuit magazines and Playcolt than she does training.’ She stops. ‘And then I get here and meet the most likely new member of the team and I find she is just some air-brained fangirl who is in a weird love triangle with two of my teammates.’ She turns to Fluttershy. ‘Why do you think I got you into all of those fancy flight schools and flight camps? I wanted you to join the team so that we would have a good member. One who could replace me and make me feel proud. I just wanted what is best for you.’

‘No, you were trying to make me live exactly how you wanted me to. You never give me a chance to express myself.’

‘Well, you seem to express yourself just fine now!’

Fluttershy stands and stomps the table. ‘Maybe that is because I have friends and family that will listen to me now,’ She snorts. ‘Maybe that is because I have friends and family for the first time in my life.’

‘You have a family! I am your mother!’

‘You are just the pony who gave birth to me. I have a real family now.’

‘How dare you! If your father were here...’

‘He would agree with everything you say because you don’t let him have any independent thoughts of his own!’

‘Your father and I just happen to be in sync with our thinking. We get along marvelously.’

‘You know that he is only still with you because you would take him to the cleaners in the divorce.’

Surprise swings a hoof and hits Fluttershy in the face. The younger pegasus stumbles back, sporting a black eye. She stares at her mother in shock, tears streaming down her face. Surprise freezes with her hoof extended, her whole body trembling.

‘Fluttershy, I...’

‘GO AWAY! I HATE YOU!’ Fluttershy screams. ‘I never want to see you as long as I live!’

Fluttershy gallops from the building as fast as she can. Surprise looks around in shock. She quickly gallops to her guest room. After a moment of silence, James gets up and hugs his crying daughter.

‘Rei, would you feel safer if you stayed with Inkie or Daring tonight?’

The upset young mare nods.

‘Okay. And if you don’t feel like going to school tomorrow, send me a message and I’ll call you in sick.’

Rei nods again.

James gives his daughter a kiss on the forehead and gets one on the cheek in return. ‘You can go now. I have to talk with mommy.’

The family gets up from the table. Rei gallops to Inkie’s apartment as fast as she can. James trots to the living room, looks towards the guest room, slips his mobile into a holster and puts in an earpiece then gallops after Fluttershy.

James trots up to Fluttershy’s cottage. Her sobbing can be heard from outside. He gently taps on the door and a heavily-armed rabbit answers. Angel takes one look at the guest before pointing him towards the sobbing pegasus. James trots to the couch where Fluttershy lays and strokes her back.

‘Fluttershy... I brought some of your family here to see you.’

‘No!’ Fluttershy screams. ‘I don’t want to see her! I hate her!’

‘No, Fluttershy.’ James lifts her head up to face his. ‘I said “your family”.’

James turns the crying pegasus towards the door as Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight Sparkle enter.

Surprise comes out of the guest room wearing a saddlebag. She turns toward the entryway but stops when she sees James standing in the path.

‘Sorry. I am just going to...’ Surprise starts.

‘Surprise. We need to talk.’

The pegasus shakes her head. ‘No. I am just going to leave and stay out of my daughter’s life. It is for the best.’

‘I think think you misunderstood me.’ James goes to the panel by the TARDIS and presses a few buttons. A force field appears around Surprise. ‘We are going to talk. You are going to listen.’

Surprise tries shouting, but no sound escapes the force field. She snorts and sits down. James looks back and steps out of the way as Fluttershy steps forward. The timid pegasus has an ice pack strapped over her eye. The rest of Fluttershy’s friends stand in the entryway. Surprise cringes and reaches for her daughter but is stopped by the force field. Fluttershy still flinches and backs away, out of reach.

‘Hello, mother,’ Fluttershy says, looking away so her mane covers her sore eye. ‘I... am sorry for some of the things I said earlier. Some of the things...’ She looks up. ‘But you just never stopped to listen! You never took the time to see what I wanted. What I really cared about. You spent my entire foalhood startling and scaring me. I was terrified of meeting new ponies because you pushed me into school early. I still am scared of meeting new ponies and surprises. You just kept pushing me and pushing me. Yes, you did send me to the best flight schools, but it should have been obvious that I am a weak flier. All of the other students laughed and picked on me, except for Rainbow Dash.’ She shakes her head. ‘And while she isn’t the brightest pony all the time, she is definitely not an airhead. She is one of the bravest and most loyal ponies ever. She was my only friend until I fell down here and met Rarity and then Pinkie and all the others. I thought you would have been happy that I found friends and got my cutie mark at the same time...’ She kicks the floor. ‘I like animals okay! I like them more than I like flying. I am sorry if I never lived up to what you were pushing me towards, but I had to become what was best for me, not what was best for you! I came down to live on the ground so I could live my life how I wanted to, not as your pretty little doll that you would walk out in front of guests, but as my own self. It has been solitary, yes. I have gotten lonely and depressed at times. But I never felt abandoned since I had my animals and my friends. I know that I am not the best daughter or everything you expected me to be, but I am who I am and you have to accept that. Please, mother.’

Fluttershy looks up with tears in her eyes. Surprise wipes away tears of her own and places a hoof on the force field. Fluttershy trots over and puts her hoof up as well.

‘Oh. And one last thing while I have you in there,’ Fluttershy says. ‘I am not really married to James. I got greedy and pretended that I was months ago just because I was too shy to make any other move. I couldn’t tell you when I stopped pretending since it had made you so happy. It felt like the only thing you had ever been proud of me for...’

Surprise nods and says something.

‘What?’

James lowers the force field.

‘I said “I know”,’ Surprise repeats. She looks at Twilight. ‘I told you I knew Twilight Velvet. She told me long ago.’

‘She did!’

Surprise nods. ‘But you just seemed so happy when you were together. I wanted to keep hearing you sound happy. When I came... I just wanted to see how happy you were with him. I didn’t mean to bring up so many negative emotions.’

Fluttershy whimpers and looks away. Surprise brushes Fluttershy’s mane away from her face and lifts the ice pack.

‘And if you or anypony thinks that I haven’t been proud of you since the day you were born, then they are the real airheads.’ Surprise leans in and kisses her daughter’s forehead. ‘I am sorry, Fluttershy. I am sorry I haven’t been the best parent. I know it is twenty-four years too late to ask, but can I be your mother?’

Fluttershy starts crying again and hugs her mother. Surprise returns the hug. In the entryway, Pinkie and Rarity sob, empathizing with their friend. Rainbow Dash goes to them and the three cry together. Twilight and Applejack lean against James, the three of them also shedding happy tears. Surprise breaks the hug and leans in to kiss her daughter’s head again but stops.

‘Since when did you get so tall?’

‘I’ve been taller than you for the past ten years, mother.’

‘Just another area you are better than your silly mother.’

Surprise laughs and hugs Fluttershy again.

A few days later. Surprise extended her stay to spend time finally getting to know her daughter and the real life she lives in Ponyville. The family was able to rebuild itself well enough to fit their new roles. Though they are unrelated, Surprise accepted Fluttershy’s Ponyville family as part of her own. She bonded especially well with Rei.

Fluttershy and her friends gather by her cottage to see Surprise off. Rainbow Dash grins as Surprise signs a poster, adding to the younger pegasus’ Wonderbolt autograph collection. The older pegasus puts her pen with her newly autographed Daring Do collection. Surprise smiles at the ponies gathered before her.

Fluttershy smiles and steps forward. ‘I am sorry if we didn’t have as much fun as you expected.’

‘We had more than enough,’ Surprise replies, hugging her daughter. ‘See you for Hearth’s Warming?’

‘I promise.’

‘Great.’ Surprise kicks off and starts hovering above the ground. ‘See everypony around! Be excellent to each other!’

Surprise waves one last time before flying off. The other ponies wave and start heading back to their homes. Fluttershy heads back toward town with her friends. She breathes a sigh of relief.

‘I am glad that is over. I was starting to get tired of playing the good daughter again.’ She bumps Rei a bit. ‘I don’t know how you keep it up so well.’

‘Years of practice,’ the younger pegasus laughs. She flies off to find her friends before her dad can complain.

‘I’m relieved too,’ Twilight sighs. ‘Keeping up with Del is tough. She is like a bottomless pit when it comes to food.’ She looks at James. ‘How do you keep up with her eating habits?’

‘Years of practice,’ the stallion groans.

The friends laugh at the joke.

‘Actually, there is one thing that still bothers me,’ Twilight says. She looks at Fluttershy. ‘After you confessed to your mother, how come you two didn’t go back to staying at your cottage?’

Fluttershy giggles.

‘Seriously, why did you have to stay with James still?’

‘When you are older and smarter, you’ll understand,’ the pegasus giggles.

Twilight stops, confused. ‘What? Fluttershy?’

Fluttershy leans against James. They laugh together.

‘James?’

Fluttershy looks back and sticks her tongue out. ‘That is Mrs Wanderer, if you don’t mind.’

Twilight growls and gives chase as her friends run away, laughing.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: The return of Fluttershy Wanderer.

Story Event: So, we see some of Fluttershy's life and family from before she came to Ponyville. Being someone shy myself and having an aggressively extroverted parent, a lot of Fluttershy's relationship with Surprise was based on those experiences. It is not really comfortable when your parent says they are going to force you to socialize with people you do not know. Fortunately, that never came to pass, but I was on the verge of tears just thinking about it. It made life almost unlivable for too long. It is one of those reasons that Fluttershy is relatable to so many fans.

Fun fact: Fluttershy would make a great Madoka, and Twilight would make a great Homura.

Japanese MLP Edit: Fluttershy is Kyubee. How cool is that! Still, she would be a perfect Madoka.

TWP and the Mystery of Slumber Parties

Main Characters: TWP, CMC, Diamond Tiara, Del, Twilight
Cameos: Dinky, Pipsqueak, Ruby Pinch, Silver Spoon, Rumble, Featherweight, Snips, Snails, Noi, Truffle Shuffle, Twist
Original Start Date: August 29, 2012

Rarity and Applejack confer in the back of Carousel Boutique. The unicorn has sealed the door and protected it with spells so that only a crazed pony with a sonic screwdriver or similar device could break in or spy on the conversation. The two mares huddle close.

‘What are we gonna do?’ Applejack whispers. ‘Ah can barely handle the three o’ them.’

‘Can’t we ask her mother to do it for us? She has to pick up some of the slack now that she is free of that horrid beast.’

‘Have y’all seen the size o’ her house? It makes mah tool shed look big.’

‘Then the only logical place to hold this is your barn.’

‘Mah barn! We keep all sort o’ sharp tools and other dangerous thin’s in there.’ Applejack scrunches her muzzle and her eyes shift. ‘As well as other thin’s.’

Rarity smirks. ‘Big Macintosh has given me, uh, tours of the barn before. I know of your still.’

‘He ain’t supposed t’ take anypony back there! ‘Sides, what about havin’ it here? Or are ya afraid they might get in yer “rollin’ pin” collection again.’

Rarity gasps so much she turns white. ‘How do you know of those!’

‘Ah heard them talkin’ ‘bout it one time. Sweetie Belle was a mite confused why ya have the “rollin’ pins” if Stormy’s the baker.’

‘Oh dear. I sure hope she doesn’t ask our parents about them...’

‘Y’all can always have Rei explain it again...’

Rarity rolls her eyes. ‘Ugh. She’d want to see them and probably giggle the whole time.’

‘At least y’all didn’ have t’ give Sweetie an anatomy lesson usin’ yer coltfriend.’

‘OH! That was Sunshine who Lyra posted about. I thought for sure his didn’t start with a “J”.’

A throat is cleared behind the mares. They tense up and look back. Stormy stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

‘I think you two are overlooking the obvious solution to your problem. Not to mention, it would be the perfect way to get even. If he has taught me anything, it is that much.’

The mares look at each other and facehoof. ‘Of course!’

‘You want to have a slumber party at my place?’ James is incredulous. He looks at the windows of The Power Block. ‘Where the hell do you see “slumber parties”? Is is written in tiny letters under the word “Xbox”? Lucas, are you writing tiny words again?’

Lucas looks at his boss then at the two mares before them. ‘I am not going to say what I really think they are saying lest I really get fired.’

James thinks for a moment then points at Applejack. ‘No. I am putting my hoof down this time. No matter how much you wave your tail I will not allow you to do what you are trying to get away with.’

Applejack blushes brighter red than her brother’s coat. She lets out a sharp squeak and tries hiding behind her hat. Beside her, Rarity thinks for a moment.

‘I will admit that does sound interesting, especially since those in the know are sparing on the details, but no, that is not what we are talking about.’

James sighs in relief. ‘That’s good. It is hard enough with Twilight “accidentally” leaving that book everywhere.’

‘Ooo! We have to compare notes sometime!’ Rarity perks up. ‘I use it as a checklist. Have you tried page one-thirty-seven yet? It is heavenly.’

The other ponies give the unicorn a disgusted look. The few patrons in the store look over as well. She laughs nervously at the attention.

‘Okay. Enough of that,’ James states. ‘What the hell do you mean by “slumber party”?’

Rarity looks at her friend and gives her a nudge. Applejack timidly looks up.

‘Remember the last time y’all were at mah place...’

‘I thought I said no more of that?’

The mare snorts. ‘Ah mean ya owe me fer how we had t’ deal with Apple Bloom! The CMC want a big ol’ slumber party and yer gonna host it.’

‘Wouldn’t your barn be a better place for something like that? You can always move the still.’

Applejack goes from red with embarrassment to red with anger. ‘Y’all are gonna host the slumber party, and y’all are gonna have all o’ Apple Bloom’s friends over and that’s final!’

James shakes nervously behind the counter. ‘Yes, ma’am.’

‘Good. Y’all can tell AB the good news durin’ yer tutorin’ session later.’ She turns to leave. ‘Rarity?’

Rarity nods and follows. She looks back. ‘Have fu~~n!’

After the mares leave, The Terrified Physicist turns to his assistant. ‘So, Lucas...’

‘I quit. See ya. Have a fun slumber party,’ the unicorn replies as he gallops for the door.

Pinkie gallops around Sugarcube Corner serving guests. James stands to one side and watches his friend.

‘I would love to help,’ Pinkie says, ‘but I already promised the Cakes I would watch Pumpkin and Pound for them that night.’

‘Anything would help out.’

‘I am sorry. I really am. It sounds like you are going to have a great party!’

‘I don’t know...’ James hems. ‘It can’t be nearly as good as a Pinkie Pie party...’

Pinkie stops and trots over to her coltfriend. ‘I know what you are trying to do, and it won’t work.’

The stallions sighs. ‘Pinkie is too smart to be tricked by simple reverse psychology. I’ll have to try fancier reverse psychology.’ He looks up and smiles. ‘Hey, Pinkie! Guess who doesn’t need all the help he can get hosting a slumber party for the CMC and their friends?’

Pinkie giggles and gives James a hug. ‘You’ll do fine. I’ll make some cakes for you.’

‘If you can drop them off around...’

‘I’ll have them ready for you that morning.’

‘If you weren’t so adorable, I’d think you just played me,’ the stallion grumbles.

Cheerilee waves to her last student at the end of the school day. She turns to start cleaning the schoolhouse when she sees a familiar face.

‘Bermuleda sounds nothing like a flu,’ James states.

‘Everypony deserves a holiday now and again,’ the teacher counters. ‘We can’t all run off to Los Arion or Applewood or Neighpon whenever we want.’

‘You forgot Seaddle, but that is not the point. You owe me.’

‘And you taught them that Celestia doesn’t control the sun.’

James looks at a board filled with equations. ‘Seems legit.’

‘You’re erasing that,’ Cheerilee grumbles.

‘Gonna help with the slumber party?’

Cheerilee lets out a hearty laugh. ‘Just don’t drink anything they serve you and stock up on headache medication for the next day.’

‘Very funny. Come on. Any help. They are going to drive me insane!’

‘I put up with all of them almost every day of the year, and it brings me nothing but joy. That will only be one night. You can handle it.’

‘Do you always have to be so positive?’

Cheerilee smiles. ‘It is my name, silly.’

James groans and trots out of the building. He quickly pops back in. ‘By the way, they are all going to come in on Monday with various psychological scarrings. Enjoy!’

The educator starts slamming her head against the wall as the stallion makes his escape.

‘No.’

‘Please!’ James begs. ‘You got them to behave before. Just think of it as wrangling a herd of cats only they are lot bigger and infinitely less evil.’

‘No,’ Fluttershy giggles.

‘You’ll get your place in bed back, Mrs Wanderer.’

The pegasus shakes her head. ‘Like I said last time, I will only do so if I can get it back legitimately.’

‘Before you hopped right in to trick your mom, right?’

Fluttershy gives her friend a peck on the cheek. ‘You’ll do fine. Besides, you are forgetting your obvious source of labor. You just have to look right under your wing.’

Rei looks up from her dinner. Her face is covered in rice. ‘Nope! RSI has a movie night that night. I’ll be sleeping over at Inkie’s, too.’

James groans and turns away from his daughter. ‘Don’t tell me, you’re leaving too.’

Del looks up from her meal. ‘Del will be staying. Cutie Belle invited Del. Everypony in Del’s class will be there, even the mean pink one.’

‘That’s going to end well,’ The Burdened Host moans.

‘Del is really excited about her first slumber party.’

‘Slumber parties are great!’ Rei cheers. ‘You stay up playing games, and you get to cuddle in bed all night with your bestest friends!’

Del blushes and stares at the older pegasus.

‘You know...’ James begins, ‘if your father ever found out what you really do at your sleepovers...’

‘Stormy is the only one of us who has had sexy times!’ Rei snaps. ‘Inkie and I are waiting until we're old enough!’

The parent holds his forelegs up defensively. ‘Just making sure.’

The young mare snorts. She leans down and whispers something to Del. They giggle at the secret. James groans and goes back to his meal.

The fateful day arrives. In the alley behind The Power Block, The Hosting Physicist is greeting all of the fillies and colts as they arrive. A small pinto earth pony bounds down the alley followed by his father. They stop as they reach the host.

‘Yeah. Nothing shady ‘bout this,’ the older pony comments.

‘Come on,’ James chides. ‘What is wrong about sending your kid to stay with somepony you never met before and meeting him in a back alley behind some unusual stores?’

‘That really fills me with confidence.’

‘But dad!’ Pipsqueak whines, ‘He has the coolest store. He is one of the coolest grownups I know!’

Pipsqueak’s father groans and messes with his son’s mane. ‘Just promise not to cause too much trouble.’

‘Pirate’s honor!’ the young colt cheers as he charges into the building.

‘Pirates don’t..! Never mind,’ Pipsqueak’s father sighs.

‘Don’t worry. It’s a phase. He’ll grow out of it,’ James assures, then he averts his gaze and mumbles, ‘by his wedding.’

‘By his what!’

‘Speaking of which...’ James waves down the alley. ‘Hey, Derpy! Dinky!’

‘Heya, Chief!’ Derpy greets. ‘Heya, Mr Pipsqueak!’

‘That isn’t my name...’

‘Is Pip here already?’ Dinky asks.

‘Right upstairs with the rest of them,’ James laughs.

Dinky cheers and chases after her friend. Derpy laughs and trots away with Pipsqueak’s father. As they leave, James checks his mobile for the list of guests. While he is looking over his notes, another pair of ponies trot up.

‘And the last horse crosses the finish line,’ James comments as he puts away his mobile.

‘What does that mean?’ Diamond Tiara scoffs.

‘It just means we arrived a little late,’ Filthy Rich explains. ‘Somepony here was scared to be staying over at another pony’s house.’

‘Da~~d!’

‘I’d say I’ve been there if my daughter wasn’t at her fillyfriend’s apartment right now.’

‘You are going to take good care of her, right, Mr Wanderer?’

‘You have my word, Mr Rich. Nothing but fun and games and whatever other tortures her friends have planned for me from here on out.’

Filth Rich laughs. ‘Sounds like you have your hooves full. Have fun.’

The parent turns to leave, but Diamond Tiara stops him for a hug. He returns the affection before leaving his daughter. The filly turns and glares up at James.

‘Everypony is upstairs. Just find a place to put your things for now. I think the three of them wanted to say something once everypony arrived.’

‘I still think you are weird, but... thank you for having us over.’

‘Just have fun and worry about my revenge later.’

‘Reven..?’

James pushes the filly into the building. He looks around the alley once more before sighing and turning to the door. There is a bright flash behind him.

‘Forgetting something, Mr Wanderer?’

‘Only not getting out of bed this morning...’ James turns straight into a kiss from Twilight. ‘Of course, the day is looking a little better. What are you doing here?’

‘I knew you would need some help, and I brought this.’

Twilight levitates a book in front of her coltfriend. He scans the title.

‘We are totally watching that movie later.’

‘Only if it is on the checklist,’ Twilight says as she trots past. ‘Hurry up. We shouldn’t leave them unattended for too long.’

James nods and follows her inside. He locks the door behind him, checks the main store one last time to make sure it is empty and leads Twilight upstairs. At the top of the stairs, they encounter rooms filled with excited fillies and colts. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle invited all of their classmates as soon as they heard where they were having their slumber party. To fit everypony in, James expanded the volume of the residence’s living room and kitchen. Fortunately, most of the foals have recently arrived and are chatting in their respective groups, so have not gotten into any of the other rooms just yet. James instantly turns to leave, but Twilight forces him to stay. A loud whistle cuts above the noise. Scootaloo is standing on the kitchen table with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle standing on chairs below her.

‘All right! Listen up!’ Scootaloo declares. ‘We have a few things we want to go over. First of all, thank you all for coming here. We’re going to have a great time. We all know where the washroom and kitchen are, so that’s good.’

‘Since we’re at Jimmy’s place, we have all sort o’ games we can play,’ Apple Bloom cheers. ‘There is plenty t’ play so we can all share and get turns.’

‘Del asked us not to go in her room,’ Sweetie Belle adds. ‘She was very insistent on that point.’

James clears his throat and steps forward. ‘That being said, my room is sealed, too. Rei said it was okay to use her room, so some of you will be staying there. Like she said, we have plenty of games. I picked up a few new ones from Dream, too. Just please, behave and don’t break’ -- there is a loud crash -- ‘anything.’ He sighs, ‘At least it lasted this long.’

The adults look towards the crash. A chubby grey colt sits in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by a spilled grocery bag.

‘Sorry,’ Truffle Shuffle apologizes. ‘I was looking for the snacks.’

‘Five minutes. You couldn’t wait five minutes...’ the stallion grumbles.

‘James, remember to be a good host,’ Twilight warns.

‘Right,’ The Wandering Host sighs. ‘Okay. Fine. Please don’t break anything and have fun. I’ll get you started on any games you want to play, or you can join me for Cards Against Ponies in bit.’

‘James!’

‘What? It is a fun game. Besides, you won last time. The solution to all the world’s problems was a big bl...’

Twilight magically seals her coltfriend’s mouth shut. She laughs nervously. ‘Let’s start having some fun. Okay, kids?’

The foals cheer as the adults help them set up some games.

The living room of The Power Block looks like the main floor of The Saving Roll. Most of the fillies and colts are playing board and card games with the two adults. The remaining foals watch and laugh with their friends. The main attraction is a giant game of Settlers of Catan being played by James, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara, Ruby Pinch, Featherweight and a yellow filly, Noi. The biggest crowd pleaser is that a certain pink filly is losing horribly. Noi makes her roll and the other players collect their resources.

‘Will one of you roll a number for one of my settlements!’ Diamond Tiara screams.

‘Keep it down,’ Twilight scolds from her game. ‘We are trying to cure the last disease.’

James suggests, ‘Have you tried a windmill full of..?’

A game tile hits the stallion in the middle of the forehead. He laughs and turns back to the game.

‘I will give you five for the one!’ Diamond Tiara demands.

‘But I don’t need any more stone,’ Noi counters. ‘It is not my fault you picked bad starting locations.’

‘Mr Wanderer! She is not playing fair!’

‘Hey, don’t blame me because you suck at the game.’

‘But I should be winning!’

‘Well, I guess your tiara powers don't make you good at board games.’

‘What was that!’

Diamond Tiara jumps up to argue, but Featherweight floats by as he flies over the board, determining his next move.

‘Hey! Move it!’ the upset filly snaps.

‘Oops. Sorry,’ the skinny pegasus replies.

‘It is all right,’ James sighs. ‘Just be quick. At least you don’t create as much of a downdraft as Rei or Del do.’

‘Del isn’t that bad,’ Sweetie Belle defends.

‘Yeah. You’re right. She’s pretty considerate, considering... Never mind.’

‘Considering what?’ Ruby asks.

‘Just thinking about her parents. Nothing you have to worry about. No changelings at all.’

‘Oh. Then are Rei’s parents as crazy as her?’

Twilight lets out a laugh from her game.

James snorts at his fillyfriend before turning back. ‘Well, I am her father, so I guess that answers that.’

‘What about her mother? Where is she from?’ Noi asks.

‘Let’s just say, Rei accidentally showed up one day.’

‘Oh. Okay.’ The filly nods. ‘I was an accident, too.’

The two adults grimace at the revelation. A grey hoof taps James on the back.

‘Mr Wanderer, we’re out of soda,’ Truffle Shuffle reports.

‘Dude, you gotta lay off.’

‘Hey! It is not me. Del isn’t sharing.’

The young colt points to the kitchen. Del is perched on a cooler and hisses at anypony that comes near.

‘Mine! My sugar water!’ the filly growls.

‘Del! You gotta share, you gotta care!’ James shouts.

The filly gives one last hiss then trots out of the room. She glares at a nervous Snips as he passes to get a drink.

James groans and hangs his head. ‘This is going to be a long night...’

‘Damn it, Featherweight! Roll one of my numbers!’ Diamond Tiara screams.
…

Scootaloo laughs as she watches her friends and classmates playing games. Apple Bloom trots over after finishing her game with Twilight, Rumble, Silver Spoon and Twist.

‘Great job winning that game,’ Scootaloo congratulates.

‘Shoot. Wasn’ nothin’,’ Apple Bloom replies. She takes a deep breath. ‘Actually, it was actually quite hard.’

‘Come on. Between you and Twilight, the only way it would have been solved faster is if Mr Wanderer was playing, too.’

They look over to see James holding Diamond Tiara at bay while Ruby takes her turn.

‘Well, it mighta gone faster if Rumble didn’ get those bad draws.’

The fillies laugh. Apple Bloom sighs and smiles at her friend.

‘Hey, uh, thanks fer agreein’ t’ invite colts.’

‘No prob,’ Scootaloo replies. ‘When I heard we could have the sleepover here, I even invited Cheerilee. I was upset when more classmates didn’t say “yes”!’

The other filly kicks at the ground a bit. ‘Actually, Ah had another reason fer wantin’ t’ invite colts.’

‘What is it, AB?’

‘Well, it might sound silly but after our date, Jimmy said that mah first kiss would be “wonderful”. Ah was wantin’ t’ figure out which colt it could be.’

‘Does it have to be a colt? I mean, it is not like it is wrong to like fillies or anything.’

‘Listen, that might be okay fer everypony else, but Ah ain’t int’ other fillies.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Cause Ah socked ya in the jaw last time ya tried.’ Apple Bloom groans.

‘Hey, you got rid of those baby teeth for me. Something good came out of it.’

‘Ah guess...’

The two friends look over the room. Snips and Snails are arguing with Del to get at the drinks with Truffle Shuffle trying to keep them in line. Silver Spoon and Rumble are watching the Catan game. Silver Spoon giggles as Diamond Tiara rages and knocks the game apart, providing Featherweight with plenty of great action shots for him to photograph. Pipsqueak and Dinky are nowhere to be found, but Sweetie Belle is looking into one of the bedrooms, having abandoned the game as soon as she saw Diamond Tiara’s tantrum coming on.

‘If you’re going after one of the guys, we sure have a lot of winners here,’ Scootaloo laughs.

Apple Bloom groans again. ‘Tell me ‘bout it. Only one good one in the bunch.’

‘And he’s not here.’

‘Not him. He was playin’ the game.’

‘Featherweight?’ Scootaloo blushes. ‘But, I think he has a crush on me.’

Apple Bloom blushes too and sighs, ‘Not him either...’

The filly sighs and stares across the room. James and Twilight scold a dejected Diamond Tiara for ruining the game.

The pegasus turns to her friend. ‘You’re not turning into your sister now, are you?’

Apple Bloom’s blush deepens. ‘What do ya mean by that? Ah don’ know what yer talkin’ about.’ She snorts and trots across the room. ‘Hey, Jimmy. Can ya help me put on a movie?’

James trots around his home while Diamond Tiara cleans up after her tantrum. The other foals are snacking, gaming or watching the movie. The adult pauses when he notices the door to Rei’s room open. Inside, two foals are standing on Rei’s bed, scanning her manga collection.

‘I don’t see it,’ Pipsqueak says.

‘It has to be here somewhere,’ Dinky replies.

‘Whatcha looking for?’ the stallion asks.

Both foals shout and fall off the bed. James laughs and rounds the bed.

‘We’re looking for, uh, Shugo Chara. Rei used to bring that when she would sit me,’ Dinky explains.

James goes over and taps a shelf. ‘Right here. It is organized right to left, like how you read it. Just make sure you avoid the top shelf. Rei likes to put her, uh, special collection where her wingless, magicless father can’t reach it easily.’

The two foals blush and nod.

‘Good. Play nice.’

James smiles and trots out of the room. Once they are sure the adult is gone, Dinky scans the top shelf as best she can and pulls a random book off with her magic.

‘Rei used to bring this stuff with her, too,’ the young filly tells her friend.

Pipsqueak gapes and nods as he flips through the book. He gasps. Dinky looks over and giggles, a slight glow on her horn.

‘You know, if I were your parents and caught you reading that, you’d be grounded until your wedding day.’

Both foals scream and try hiding the comic. James leans over the bed and laughs.

‘Of course, I am the one who just convinced Twilight to let us run a Cards Against Ponies game,’ the stallion sighs. ‘You can come out and I’ll deal you in, or you can stay and get some rumors spread about you two. Either way, put the book back when you are done.’

‘Yes, Mr Wanderer,’ the foals mumble.

‘Good. Keep having fun!’ James cheers.

The stallion trots out of the room, leaving the foals. Pipsqueak looks at the comic then to Dinky and blushes. The filly smiles and levitates the book to the shelf. They take a moment to compose themselves before joining their friends.

After a rousing game of Cards Against Ponies in which many of the foals learned some new words and phrases, much to Twilight’s shock, dismay and eventual magical sealing of several muzzles, the group is looking for a new game everypony can play.

Twilight flips through her book. ‘We can always do a pillow f...’

‘No!’ James states. ‘Not in this house with this many ponies. Something might get’ -- there is a crash -- ‘broken...’

‘Sorry!’ a grey pegasus colt calls. ‘Silver Spoon and I were just seeing if there was anymore pizza left.’

‘Empty boxes are on the counter. Not empty on the table,’ James grumbles.

‘Thanks,’ Rumble shouts back.

‘We can always do makeovers,’ Twilight says as she turns a page.

‘NO!’ all the males, and Scootaloo, shout.

‘If I may offer a suggestion,’ James starts.

‘We already played Cards,’ Twilight groans before reinforcing the magical seal she placed around the deck.

‘Actually, this comes from Rei.’ The stallion holds up a box of Pocky. ‘Who knows what this is?’

‘You are not playing the Pocky game!’ Twilight shouts.

‘Well, I promised Cheerilee I'd do something for her. Besides, Pinkie tells me you are very good at it.’

The princess squeaks, blushes and covers her face with her wings.

‘What is the Pocky game?’ Ruby Pinch asks.

‘Itth where you putth a Pocky in you mouth, and you and a friend take turnth eating it. Firtht to back away lotheth,’ Twist answers.

Everypony stares at the normally conservative filly.

‘What?’ Twist blushes. ‘Itth in anime all the time.’

‘Ah don’ think Applejack wants me playin’ a game like that,’ Apple Bloom hems.

‘This summer’s hot new action duo was polio and Celestia’s massive plot, according to a certain pony,’ Scootaloo laughs.

Apple Bloom blushes and looks away.

‘It’s okay, Apple Bloom,’ Twilight assures. ‘You don’t have to play. Anypony else that doesn’t want to play can join me, and we’ll do something nice, safe and fun.’

The mare nods and trots to another part of the room. Apple Bloom joins her. Silver Spoon, a forced Rumble, Ruby Pinch, a nervous Snips and Twist complete the group. Twilight starts talking with them about what to play next. The other fillies and colts stay behind to try the game.

James holds up a stick. ‘Who wants to go first, or should Twilight and I give a demonstration?’

‘You’ll be lucky if you ever get another chance,’ the mare shoots back.

‘Me! Del wants to try first!’ The filly bounds to the front of the group. She takes the Pocky and eats it in one bite. ‘Del wins!’

‘Easy there,’ James groans. ‘You need a second player. Who else wants to give it a shot?’

The other foals look around. Diamond Tiara jabs Truffle Shuffle, causing him to jump up.

‘Nice of you to “volunteer”.’ The stallion rolls his eyes and gets out another Pocky. ‘Remember, you take turns biting until you kiss. First to break the kiss, loses.’

The filly turns her nose up. ‘Del is not afraid. Del eats love for breakfast.’

‘Oh, I really hope that is just bragging...’ the stallion moans.

Del takes the biscuit in her mouth. Truffle tentatively bites the other end. They slowly work towards each other. The two foals blush when their noses touch. The others gasp when Truffle takes the last bite. After what seems like forever to the players, Del backs and away and gallops to her room.

‘Excuse me! I need a moment!’ the filly shouts back.

‘Please say that she just figured out pronouns...’ James sighs. He shakes his head. ‘Who wants to try next?’

The foals murmur and look around. Truffle proudly reclaims his seat.

‘I’ll try,’ Pipsqueak nervously says, raising a hoof.

‘And his challenger?’

‘I’ll do it!’ a filly unicorn states.

Everypony is surprised when Sweetie Belle steps up next to the young colt. She has a bit of a smirk on her face. At the back of the group, Dinky looks like she is trying to keep her magic from blasting the other filly across the room. Sweetie Belle takes the Pocky and waits for Pipsqueak to make his move. The nervous colt looks at his friends. Dinky turns away.

‘What are you waiting for?’ Sweetie Belle grumbles.

‘Sorry!’ the colt replies and takes a bite.

Dinky’s glare returns as the two foals move closer and closer.
…

Dinky trots back to a new seat, far from Pipsqueak. Noi regains her seat, Sweetie Belle instantly beside her and whispering questions. James holds up another biscuit.

‘Okay! Who’s next? Prissy?’

Diamond Tiara is about to retort when Del returns. The filly stares at the ground.

‘Del is sorry for earlier. Del doesn’t want to play anymore.’

James gives the filly the treat. ‘It’s okay. Twilight will deal you in if you want.’

Del nods and joins Twilight. She looks at Truffle, blushes and trots faster. Diamond Tiara steps forward and snatches a Pocky.

‘Fine. I’ll go, if it will shut you up.’

James laughs. ‘Any takers?’

The smug filly smirks knowing that Scootaloo will have her...

‘I’ll do it, eh,’ Snails answers.

Diamond Tiara grimaces at the thought of having to kiss the second weirdest student in class. She looks to Scootaloo for support, but the pegasus is trying to conceal a laugh. The upset filly snorts and turns to the young unicorn.

‘You better not try anything funny, okay?’

Snails just smiles and leans down to be on the same level as the filly. To Diamond Tiara’s credit, she does not back away immediately. After several seconds, her nose twitches, and she backs away covering her snout.

‘Do you bathe in cream soda?’

‘I win,’ the young unicorn comments with a smile as he takes his seat.

Scootaloo openly laughs as Diamond Tiara sits back down.

‘Scoots, you’re up,’ James calls.

‘What? Huh?’

The pegasus looks around to see Featherweight already standing at the front of the group. She sighs and goes to the front of the group. The young colt smiles, his buck teeth prominent. The filly takes the Pocky from the host.

‘Anytime you’re ready,’ she tells her challenger.

Featherweight blushes, and they begin play. Scootaloo breathes in sharply once they kiss. Seconds into the kiss, the filly becomes aware that her wings are sticking straight up. She nervously glances at the others. Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara snicker at their friend. Scootaloo panics and pushes Featherweight back.

‘Geez! What the heck?’ she grumbles.

‘What?’ the stunned colt asks.

‘Okay. Okay. Settle down,’ James calms. He looks over the group. ‘Looks like everypony had a turn. Do you want to play again or find something else?’

The foals shrug and mumble, but none voice concern.

‘Okay.’ The stallion shrugs. ‘How about this time you can challenge players directly? You would both have to agree, though.’

‘I challenge the cheater!’ Scootaloo declares, pointing a hoof at Featherweight.

‘What did I do?’ the confused colt wonders.

‘Don’t pretend. You embarrassed me on purpose. Now, we play for real.’

Featherweight groans and joins Scootaloo. After the colt’s first bite, the filly chomps the wholes stick and forces a kiss on Featherweight. The colt is stunned and shoves Scootaloo back.

‘What the heck was that?’ the young colt coughs.

‘Just getting you back for earlier,’ the filly snorts.

Featherweight snorts and goes back to his seat. ‘Whatever, weirdo.’

Scootaloo growls and stomps back to her seat by a giggling Sweetie Belle.

James holds up a biscuit. ‘Hey, Twilight! We’re doing challenges now. Want take me on?’

‘Ha, ha. Nice try,’ Twilight calls back.

‘I’ll do it,’ a small voice speaks up.

The stallion looks over to see Diamond Tiara making her way forward.

‘Uh... Very funny, kid, but you’re a little young for me.’

‘What? Are you scared you might have to leave Twilight for somepony better?’ the filly dares.

Twilight laughs from her game, glad to see her coltfriend backed in a corner for once. The Trapped Physicist looks between his fillyfriend and the filly in front of him. He sighs and gets out a Pocky.

‘Just gonna warn ya, I’m an adult, so this might be a little different from who you should be kissing.’

‘Blah, blah, blah. All I heard was you having to hold yourself back.’

The other foals laugh at Diamond Tiara’s arrogance and James’ hesitation. The stallion groans and leans down with the Pocky in his mouth. He keeps having to lean lower to reach the filly’s height. After a moment of kissing, the stallion jumps back.

‘BWAH!’

A small, pink tongue is seen briefly before Diamond Tiara pulls it back and smirks. She swaggers back to her seat and gives a hip thrust before sitting down. The Stunned Physicist trembles nervously.

‘Twilight! She’s being mean to me!’

‘Oh, be a stallion!’ the mare shoots back.

All the foals laugh as the stallion drags himself to the kitchen to get a drink. Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara exchange whispers before high hoofing. Dinky huffs and steps forward.

‘Pip,’ she snorts, ‘let me show you how it is really done.’

The young colt grimaces at the mess he is in.

James and Twilight sit at the kitchen table as they try to work out the sleeping arrangements while the foals watch a movie.

‘We can probably fit two or three in Rei’s bed since we have the room,’ James says.

‘Definitely the Cutie Mark Crusaders since they would be the only ones to get along.’

‘Okay... Then maybe three more in there to fill up the space. We should have the rest be fillies, too.’

‘Which ones though?’

‘Hmm. Not Dinky since... reasons.’

‘Rei’s comic collection?’

‘Yeah... Taking a risk since I know she shared them with Scootaloo when she lived here... We can put Snips and Snails on the couch since they are more likely to share.’

‘Right, right.’ Twilight frowns. ‘This would be much easier if we had Del’s room to work with.’

‘You don’t want to go in there. Trust me.’

‘Why? Is it full of half-eaten ponies or some other strange things?’

‘Worse than that. She is a hoarder.’

‘She plays an Orc online?’

James shakes his head. ‘No, she collects things. All sorts of things.’

‘Like what?’

‘Well,’ -- the stallion leans back -- ‘imagine the girliest room you can imagine, double that and put shelves everywhere.’

‘Shelves?’

‘Yep. She has one shelf for everypony who has given her something, big or small. Everything organized to be seen. Every time somepony new gives her something, I have to put in a new shelf. It is... a little eerie to say the least.’

‘Is that a changeling thing?’

‘I have no idea.’

‘Well, I’d want to document that. It might lead to insights on changeling culture.’

‘Miss Sparkle can see if she wants,’ a voice says from above.

The two adults look up to see Del standing on the ceiling, watching them. Twilight screams and falls from her seat. Del drops to the table.

‘Sorry. Del heard Del’s name and wanted to see what you were talking about.’

‘Del, what is normal pony behaviour?’ James groans.

‘Ponies do not walk on ceilings unless they are a spy. Del was being a spy.’

‘Wonderful,’ Twilight grumbles.

‘While Del is here, Del has a request to make. Can kiss pony stay in Del’s room?’

‘Truffle?’ James is confused. ‘I guess it is okay if he wants to.’

‘Thank you.’ Del smiles. ‘That makes Del happy.’

The filly jumps from the table and returns to the rest of the foals. James sighs and shakes his head.

‘I know she hasn’t been here too long,’ Twilight grumbles as she reclaims her seat, ‘but she can at least learn some normal behaviours by now.’

‘I’d be happy if she could just figure out pronouns. All of the other changelings I know have. I mean, your sister-in-law...’

‘She is not my sister-in-law!’

‘I don’t know... That wedding did go first...’ He turns to the side. ‘Mental note: travel back before the wedding and marry Shining first.’ He turns back. ‘Nothing!’

Twilight stares at her coltfriend, eye starting to twitch. ‘I heard all of that.’

‘Uh... Which part?’

The alicorn raises an eyebrow and readys a spell.

‘So! Sleeping arrangements?’ the stallion tries to deflect. ‘I assume I am in the doghouse?’
…

The adults have gathered the foals in the living room. Most of the young ponies yawn in anticipation of bed. Apple Bloom leans against a life-sized alicorn plush as she tries to stay awake.

‘Okay, first question,’ James begins, ‘Truffle, Del has invited you to stay in her room. Accept or deny?’

The other colts tease the embarrassed Truffle.

‘I guess...’

‘Great!’ Del shouts. ‘Follow Del!’

The filly pushes the colt into her room while the other foals cheer or laugh at them. James sighs and goes back to the room assignments. Before he can speak, Silver Spoon steps forward.

‘Um, Mr Wanderer, would it be okay if I stay in the same room as Rumble?’

The foals tease her as well.

‘Shut up!’ the filly shouts, confronting her peers. ‘It is not like that is a secret anyway!’

‘Fine with me,’ James replies. ‘It makes the room assignment easier.’ He marks his list. ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders, you get Rei’s bed since this mess was your idea.’

‘Yay!’ the fillies cheer as they rush to get their bags.

‘Scootaloo, come here,’ James calls. The filly groans and approaches. He takes her aside and whispers, ‘You tell them about the comics, artbooks, games, videos, etcetera, and I tell your mother you disabled all of the parental controls in your house. Don't worry. Your magazine stash is safe... for now.’

The filly grimaces. ‘Yes, sir.’

The stallion smiles and turns back to the other foals. ‘Uh, let’s see...’

‘Diamond Tiara, Twist and Noi will be staying in Rei’s room, too,’ Twilight adds.

‘What do you mean, I don’t get my own room?’ Diamond Tiara complains. The others groan. ‘What? You were all expecting me to say that.’

‘And the rest of you will be out here,’ James sighs. ‘Snips, Snails, you can share the couch without fighting, right?’

‘No fighting. We promise,’ Snips replies.

The taller unicorn nods beside his friend.

‘Great. Twilight and I will help you set up. We’ve all had a long day, so I hope we all get plenty of rest.’

There is a loud crash. James winces.

‘Sorry,’ Twilight apologizes. ‘I was moving the board games, and they got unbalanced.’

The stallion grumbles and goes to help set up Rei’s room.
…

Truffle looks around Del’s room in awe. Everything is so pink and flowery. There are dozens of shelves covering the walls. All of them are labeled with a different pony’s name. Most have just one item on them, but several are overflowing, especially the ones labeled ‘Rei’ and ‘Pinkie Pie’. The young colt wonders if every fillies’ rooms are like this.

‘Would you like to share the bed with Del?’ the filly offers

‘S-sure,’ Truffle replies, not believing he got his first kiss, sees the inside of a filly’s room for the first time and will share a bed with a filly all in one night.

The young colt takes a deep breath. He climbs on the bed and looks around. He can see more of the items on the shelves and wonders if there is one with his name on it. He turns to ask Del and runs face to face with a changeling. The creature stares back with large green eyes. Truffle notes the glint coming off of the changeling’s fangs.

‘You are the most desirable colt, yes?’ the changeling asks.

Truffle starts backing away. ‘Y-you d-don’t sc-scare m-me.’

‘Del does not mean to scare you. She just wishes to, uh, pick your brain.’

The colt screams and jumps back. Then he realizes something. ‘Wait. Del?’

Before Del can respond, Truffle loses his balance and falls off the bed. Del jumps down beside him. She helps him sit up.

‘Del is sorry. Del did not...’ She closes her eyes and grits her teeth. ‘No, I did not mean to hurt you. I only wanted to talk with you.’

‘Del, you’re a..?’

The young changeling looks away. She tucks her wings over her dark blue chitin. ‘I... I am sorry. I thought it was okay to show my true self. I can go back to hiding if it makes you feel better.’

‘Wh-whatever you are comfortable with.’

Del changes back to her pegasus disguise. She tries hiding her face a bit. ‘I am sorry. May we talk now?’

‘O-okay,’ Truffle replies, trying to shake off all that is happening.

Del jumps back onto the bed and helps Truffle up. The filly keeps her distance as not to scare the young colt further.

‘So, uh, what did you want to talk about?’ Truffle asks.

‘Right. You seem to be the most desirable of the colts in school, is that correct?’

The young colt blushes. ‘Nopony has ever told me something like that before.’

‘Really? Everypony in class seems to like you. You were the first colt Cutie Belle invited. I, uh, sense a lot of love directed towards you from many classmates.’

‘R-r-really?’ Truffle is now more shocked about what he has heard than about Del’s secret.

Del nods. ‘I even think of you as The Friendly Colt.’

‘I’m... The Friendly Colt? Not The Pudgy Colt or The Chubby Colt? … Or The Fat Colt?’

Del turns her head to one side. ‘Del does not understand.’

Truffle crosses the bed and hugs his friend. ‘You don't have to. Thank you, Del.’

The confused filly returns the hug. ‘Del likes this. … Also, if you tell anypony about Del’s secret, she will eat you.’

Truffle tenses up and tries to free himself from the filly’s affection.

James collapses onto his bed and lets out a loud moan. He is more than ready for this night to be over. He moans again when another mass lands on top of him.

‘This has been one of the funnest sleepovers I’ve been to,’ Twilight giggles.

‘Who’s sleeping? And can I trade bodies with them?’

‘Come on. You’ve had fun.’

‘I had to clean the kitchen thrice before game time. I am owed a new Catan set. I caught Dinky raiding Rei’s private collection. (That is one talk I don’t want to have with Derpy.) Diamond Tiara tried making out with me. I caught Dinky again! And then there was all of Del’s behaviour. I just want one thing to go right for me.’

Twilight gets up, uses her magic to roll James on his back and lowers herself again while kissing him.

‘Oh, you think you’re so clever,’ the stallion snorts once they break the kiss.

‘That’s what you tell me.’

Twilight kisses her coltfriend again and pulls the covers over them.

‘Wait. What about the foals? They are just outside.’

A glow comes from under the blankets, and Twilight’s book is levitated beside the bed. ‘Think of this as Seven Minutes in Heaven.’

‘Pfft. Seven minutes? You know me better than that. I need more time.’

Twilight lets slip a loud squeal as James makes his move. After a bit of blankets rustling, there is a loud knock at the door. Twilight shouts as she is shoved from the bed. James barely covers himself before Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle poke their heads in.

‘Are you okay?’ Scootaloo asks. ‘We thought we heard Twilight scream.’

‘Everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?’ James dodges.

‘Is Twilight okay?’ Sweetie asks.

‘She just sat on something hard,’ the stallion laughs.

Twilight groans. ‘We’re fine. Just go back to bed.’

‘Okay.’ Scootaloo nods. She turns back to the living room. ‘It’s cool! They were just fooling around!’

The adults groan as they are left alone again.

‘So, uh...’ James begins.

The stallion is cut off when Twilight jumps him with another kiss.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle settle back in Rei’s bed after checking on the adults.

‘Well, what was it?’ Diamond Tiara demands.

‘They were just making out,’ Scootaloo replies.

‘See anything good?’

‘That’th not thomething we shthoud be talking about,’ Twist states.

‘Why not? We had our little game earlier.’

Apple Bloom laughs. ‘That was funny how ya got Jimmy t’ freak out like that. Ah ain’t never seen ‘im that riled up.’

‘Well, we all have our special gifts,’ Diamond Tiara brags. ‘Besides, I think the real winner of the game is up there next to you.’

‘Right,’ Noi agrees, blushing a little. ‘Sweetie Belle was the only pony to kiss all of us.’

‘I was just doing what I’ve seen Rarity do,’ the unicorn defends. ‘Although, now I see why she likes doing it so much.’

‘And who would you say was the best?’ Diamond Tiara asks. ‘Not that I don’t know the answer already.’

Sweetie thinks for a moment. ‘I guess Pipsqueak was pretty good. Truffle was nice, too.’

Diamond Tiara coughs. ‘Ahem. Not anypony in this room?’

‘You were fun, too, Noi.’

‘Thank you,’ the filly squeaks as she hides under her covers.

‘Ah think Diamond Tiara means her.’

‘Oh! Well, you were a little rough,’ Sweetie comments. The other filly gasps. ‘You too, Scootaloo.’

‘Hey!’ the young pegasus shouts. She turns away from her friend. ‘Was I at least better than Diamond Tiara?’ she mumbles.

‘I think you were about the same.’

Both fillies growl and pull their covers over their heads.

Sweetie sighs as she leans back on her pillow. ‘I just wish we got to the part of the kissing game that comes next. Rarity always makes me go downstairs to wait with Stormy after the kissing part.’

Apple Bloom gives her friend a concerned look. Diamond Tiara giggles from her sleeping bag. Noi can be heard facehoofing.

‘Uh, Sweetie Belle,’ Scootaloo starts, ‘they were kicking you out so they could have sex.’

‘What!?’ The unicorn shouts, sitting up in bed. Sweetie’s voice cracks so much the others wince in pain.

‘Shthe doeth know that’th what parentth do, right?’ Twist asks. ‘My parentth uthed to lock their room all the time to keep me out.’

Scootaloo waves a hoof in front of her friend’s face. ‘She might not know that now. She’s totally gone.’

‘Our parents would make me and my sister go to a movie or something when they wanted time alone,’ Noi comments

‘Hey, at least they’re trying to keep it secret,’ Scootaloo sighs. ‘I always knew my parents did it because my mom would be up all night crying.’ She growls. ‘So glad that bucking loser left us. Hope he never comes back.’

‘At least y’all never walked in on yer sister and her coltfriend,’ Apple Bloom mumbles.

‘What?’ everypony gasps. The ponies on the floor crowd the bed.

‘Ah don’ wanna talk ‘bout it...’

‘Oh, you can’t give us something juicy like that and leave us hanging. You must tell more,’ Diamond Tiara begs.

‘Yeah! We want details!’ Noi pleads.

‘If it’th not too much to athk.’

‘Wait. Which coltfriend are you talking about?’ Scootaloo asks. ‘The handsome one or Mr Wanderer?’

Apple Bloom groans and looks away. ‘Fine... It was a few weeks ago...’

In the living room, the foals have are sleeping in groups. Snips and Snails share the couch while Silver Spoon and Rumble have their sleeping bags nearby. Dinky and Ruby Pinch lay in their beds while Pipsqueak and Featherweight rest at the opposite end of the room.

‘So, who else can’t sleep?’ Rumble asks.

The other foals groan.

‘Rumble, they’re trying to sleep,’ Silver Spoon sighs.

‘What? This is a sleepover, right? We should be trading stories and stuff. Heck, Snails should at least be bragging about all of the fillies he kissed.’

The young unicorn laughs from his spot. Dinky and Pipsqueak groan from theirs.

‘Come on. At least tell us how Sweetie Belle was.’

‘Rumble!’ Silver Spoon snaps.

‘What? I’m curious. Pip didn’t want to tell me earlier.’

Silver Spoon growls at her coltfriend. A moan and thump comes from where the other colt is trying to sleep.

‘She tasted like marshmallow,’ Snails comments.

‘What about Diamond Tiara?’ Snips asks.

‘Lemony!’

The other foals giggle at the comparison.

‘Bah. Marshmallows and lemons are lame,’ Rumble scoffs. ‘I prefer the smell of cherries.’

‘And who smells of cherries?’ Silver demands.

‘You do, Silver.’

‘That’s right.’

The colt moans and lays down in his sleeping bag.
…

Dinky stews in her sleeping bag. She is still upset about Sweetie Belle kissing Pipsqueak earlier. She showed him how it was really done, only after losing her first kiss to Noi. She made sure to kiss Truffle, too, just to make Pip extra jealous. The upset unicorn tosses and turns in her bag as she tries to get some sleep. She moans and turns to her friend beside her.

‘Hugs?’ Ruby Pinch offers.

Dinky nods, and Ruby slides over and hugs her friend.

‘What is wrong?’ the affectionate unicorn asks.

‘Pipsqueak is a jerk,’ Dinky snorts.

‘What did he do?’

‘He kissed Sweetie Belle.’

‘I was watching. He seemed to back away pretty quick.’

‘But she had her hooves all over him! It was like reading one of those books I shouldn’t know about...’

‘Books with hugging and kissing in them?’ Dinky leans in and whispers. Ruby’s dark pink cheeks turn red as she blushes. ‘Mommy says I’m way too young for those are books. How did your mommy..?’

‘Rei let me see them when she sat me...’

‘Can you tell me about them?’ the other filly whispers.
…

Pipsqueak moans and tries burying his head in his pillow. He cannot believe his first kiss was with Sweetie Belle instead of Dinky. He feels like a total mule. Beside him, Featherweight is going through all of the pictures he has taken so far during the sleepover.

‘Check out this one,’ the young pegasus says, holding his camera towards his friend. ‘It almost looks like Snails is trying to give Twist a reacharound.’

Pipsqueak groans and pulls his pillow over his head. He feels a poke at his side. He looks up to see a picture of when he kissed Dinky during the game.

‘If it makes you feel better, that is the happiest I saw her all night.’

‘No, it doesn’t make me feel better since I could be chatting with her instead of you right now.’

Featherweight holds his camera over. ‘How about now?’ Pipsqueak turns white. ‘Accidentally snapped that during one of the kisses with Scootaloo. I guess I forgot I had my camera at the time.’

‘You can see her...’

‘I should delete it. She would probably hate me more if she knew I had this.’

‘Did you see how much her wings were sticking up after your kiss? I think she likes you.’

‘I can never get the guts to ask her though. It was only luck that she asked me to come to this and even more that we were able to kiss.’

‘So if you delete the picture, that will be the last time you see that...’

Featherweight looks at his camera, up to Rei’s room, back to the camera and deletes the photo.

Pipsqueak pats his friend on the back. ‘You’re a good pony. Hey, you should sign up for Rarity’s class with me. I hear there are lots of fillies and what we learn drives them wild. Scootaloo will be sure to fall for you.’

The young pegasus groans and falls back into his pillow. ‘I can use all of the help I can get.’

Pipsqueak looks across the room to where Dinky and Ruby are chatting. ‘Me too.’

Early morning. Snips shakes the water from his hooves as he leaves the washroom. He bumps straight into somepony. Fluttershy lets out a sharp squeak and backs away. She quickly raises a hoof to her lips.

‘Shh! Don’t tell anypony I was here. I wanted to do something to help out.’

Snips nods.

‘Enjoy the waffles. And make sure Mr Wanderer reads the note.’

Fluttershy giggles and sneaks back out of the house. Snips watches the mare leave before he gets distracted by the smell of fresh waffles coming from the kitchen.
…

Twilight glares at Fluttershy’s note while the other ponies stuff themselves with her waffles.

Don’t say your ‘wife’ never did anything for you. ❤ Fluttershy.

‘Oh my Sagan! She makes the best waffles!’ James drools.

‘I make good waffles, too,’ Twilight snaps.

‘Not compared to these,’ the stallion replies, not caring about the danger he is in.

Twilight growls and goes back to her breakfast. Hooffalls are heard coming up the stairs. Several of the foals look up to see Rei being lead in by her nose. The young mare stops and sniffs the air. She notices everypony in the kitchen.

‘Mommy’s waffles!’ Rei cries as she dives for the food.

Twilight is barely able to levitate the waffles away in time before the ravenous pegasus crashes onto the table.

With the sleepover complete, the parents and other relatives of the guests are picking the foals up from The Power Block. Noi is riding Carrot Top’s back and telling her about all of the things she did. Ruby Pinch is hugging the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Berry Punch laughs as Scootaloo cringes.

‘I had a great time,’ Ruby says. ‘We should do this again sometime.’

‘I am sure Rarity or Applejack would love to have you over,’ James comments.

‘Hugs?’ the young unicorn asks her host.

James groans and leans down to hug the filly. Berry laughs again. The filly lets go and trots off with her mother.

‘Mr Wanderer is the funnest pony ever!’ Ruby shouts as she and Berry trot out of sight.

James groans. Twilight and the Cutie Mark Crusaders giggle at the stallion. A shadow passes overhead, and Derpy lands in front of the waiting ponies.

‘Heya, Chief!’ Derpy greets.

‘Hey, D-Squared.’

‘I’ll go tell Dinky you’re here for her,’ Twilight says.

‘Get Pipsqueak while you’re at it. I told his parents I’d pick him up, too.’

Twilight nods and goes into the building.

‘So, was Dinky a good guest?’ Derpy asks James.

‘Nothing too bad, but I might have to send you an email later.’

The mare leans in and whispers, ‘She found Rei’s books?’

The stallion nods.

Derpy sighs and looks at the Cutie Mark Crusaders. ‘Did you have fun with Dinky?’

‘Ah guess so.’

‘She was fun.’

‘She’s an okay kisser.’

Derpy stares at Sweetie Belle in shock. She slowly turns to James.

‘We played the Pocky game!’ the stallion blurts out.

‘Oh! Okay. That is always fun to play,’ Derpy replies with a smile.

Twilight returns with the two foals. They are unusually quiet.

‘Ready to go?’ Derpy asks.

‘I guess,’ Dinky replies.

‘Forgetting something?’ her mother presses.

Dinky turns to James and bows. ‘Thanks for having us over.’

‘Right. Thanks for inviting us,’ Pipsqueak tells the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

‘Yeah. Thanks,’ Dinky adds, glaring a bit at Sweetie Belle.

Derpy gives her daughter a confused look but shakes it off. ‘Come on. I bet you two have all sorts of adventures planned for later.’

The foals moan and follow Derpy away. They stop when the mare greets Applejack and Rarity on their approach to the shop. After exchanging pleasantries, the two big sisters continue to meet their friends.

‘Thank you so much for hosting this little get-together. You really saved our skin,’ Rarity greets.

‘Yeah. Yer a real lifesaver,’ Applejack adds.

‘Are we even now?’ James moans.

‘We’re fine,’ the farmer snorts.

‘At least until Lyra publishes her next story,’ Rarity counters.

‘That ain’t fair!’

‘Fairly accurate is more like it,’ Twilight grumbles.

‘It ain’t like yer in more than a few stories.’

‘But she does have a point, darling.’

‘Yer in more than either of us combined.’

‘Hers are better material, too,’ Scootaloo comments.

The three mares turn and glare at the filly.

‘Mr Wanderer, what is your..?’ Rarity begins to ask.

The mares look around for the stallion that was just standing with them. All of the garbage from the previous night comes crashing down into a nearby bin. Twilight looks up towards the residence. In his bedroom, The Exhausted Physicist curls up under his blanket and goes to sleep.

Bonus Scene(s) 1

Bonus Scene 2

Author's Note

Story Timeline: First kisses... Well, everypony that played the Pocky game... Start of Dinky vs Sweetie Belle.

Story Event: I hope you liked the multiple bonus scenes. I intend the Dinky and Pipsqueak scenes to take place at that same time.

Fun Fact: Cards Against Humanity is the funnest tabletop game I have played. If you have not played it, stop reading right now and lose your childhood.

A Gift From a Friend

Main Characters: Two of them
Cameos: Several
Original Start Date: October 12, 2012
Note: Links are to G Docs since those allow for better bookmarking.

Across Equestria, ponies are settling in for the night. While there are some with late night duties, the vast majority are getting their well-deserved rest. Even the princesses are getting some sleep, though Princess Celestia will have a heck of a time getting the cheese from her mane after a late night pizza binge.

In The Power Block, James lets out a big yawn and trots to his room. Rei is curled up asleep in her bed after playing computer games all night. Del groans and rolls over holding her stomach, having drank her volume in juice before bed. James yawns again and sets his mobile and glasses on his nightstand.

The stallion looks out the window. ‘Good night, Luna. Love you.’ He sits up slightly and looks towards the opposite wall. ‘Love you too, Fluttershy.’ He leans back towards the wall behind his head. ‘You too, Pinkie Pie.’ He settles down and looks towards his last wall. ‘Sleep well, Twilight. I love you so very much.’

The tired stallion gives one last yawn and closes his eyes. As he fades into sleep, a low, deep laugh creeps across the land.

How did you meet him?

Fluttershy blushes and hides behind her mane.

‘Well, we sorta ran into each other his first day in town. Well... almost ran into each other. It was very awkward and a little scary. We didn’t really talk for the first time until a few days later when I came to his store. I was a little shocked to see a different owner, but he was as shy and nervous as I was. It was really cute.’
…

‘Geez. What was it?’ Marvel Crystal wonders. ‘Was it working with that game company?’

‘I think he was there,’ DC remembers, ‘but we really didn’t meet him until he moved to Ponyville. We came over and visited him while he was moving in. I remember that weird door of his.’

Marvel laughs. ‘Right. That was cool.’

‘You’re not getting one for your office.’

‘Why not!’
…

Pinkie taps her chin thoughtfully.

‘Let’s see. I heard there was a new pony in town, and I had to meet him and make him my friend! When I got to his shop, the game on display started moving with me. TOTALLY! BLEW! MY! MIND!’ She laughs. ‘Anyway, James showed me how to play and set up a dancing game. TOTALLY! BLEW! ME! AGAIN! After that, we played games and stuff together. It was great!’
…

The Cutie Mark Crusaders grimace and shrink in their seats.

‘We just wanted our cutie marks. We didn’t mean to almost break anything,’ they whimper.
…

Applejack scowls.

‘Ah hate t’ let the bad overpower the good, but Ah first met ‘im after he threatened mah sister.’ She snorts loudly. ‘Ah came t’ give ‘im a piece o’ mah mind, but Ah ended up havin’ t’ lecture AB ‘bout breakin’ other pony’s thin’s.’
…

Rarity laughs.

‘Well, it was the incident where Sweetie almost smashed his shop. … The first time. The very first time. I was inquiring as to how I could keep her in a constant state of terror. Sadly, he seems to be the only one with the power.
…

Twilight blushes.

‘My friends had convinced me to do a friendship report on his game store. We spent the whole day together.’ Her blush deepens. ‘It was one of the best days of my life.’
…

‘It was a dark and stormy night,’ Rei begins. She pauses. ‘I don’t care if it is cliche! That is what happened! I was out flying around my home in Haydo when I crossed through this odd portal and ended up crashing into the side of his home. He helped care for me that night. He was very friendly and made me feel very safe. I felt like I was at home...’
…

Inkie turns bright red.

‘I would prefer not talking about how we met!’
…

Daring sighs.

‘Dash should have more birthdays... Anyway! He just showed up at one of my lectures after we had a bit of a random encounter. It was quite an eye-opening adventure. … You want details? Paperback starts at five bits’ -- she winks -- ‘but I’ll sign it for free.’
…

Celestia smiles and laughs.

‘I almost forgot about that.’ She lets out a long sigh. ‘It was a thousand years ago. Just after Luna’s banishment. I was feeling miserable about what I had done and furious with her behaviour, then he showed up... Then I thought that he knew an awful lot about my sister to be screaming at me like that. She nearly got a roommate that evening. So many regrets...’
…

Del blinks and starts licking one of her wings.

What was your first impression?

‘Honestly?’ Twilight asks. ‘I thought he was a total nutter.’ She looks down and blushes bright red. ‘Really cute, but a total nutter.’
…

‘Um, once we started talking...’ Fluttershy hides behind her mane and smiles. ‘I thought he was very nice.’
…

‘Honest first impression was that he was an asshole,’ Applejack grumbles then looks away. She blushes a little and her nose scrunches up. She looks straight forward. ‘AH DIDN’ THINK HE WAS GOOD LOOKIN’ AT ALL!’ She covers her face and looks away. ‘And that time didn’ count... Don’ remind me...’
…

‘Aside from the scruffy mane cut, the drab coat, the tacky store displays and the odor of geek, I found him quite pleasant.’ Rarity nods. She sighs. ‘I am so glad Twilight got him to take better care of himself.’
…

‘I thought...’ Pinkie frowns and looks down. Her mane loses its poof and falls over her face. ‘I thought he was as sad and lonely as me and that I could cheer him up.’ She smiles and her mane springs to life. ‘Thank Celestia I was able to help him do that!’
…

‘Impressions?’ Rainbow Dash scoffs. ‘He sells games. That is all I needed to know. Oh! And when the next Call of Duty game was coming out.’
…

Rei kicks at her seat a bit.

‘I know it sounds weird, but I thought he was King Sparkle... which sorta makes sense, he is my real dad.’
…

‘I thought he was a total nutter and had no business near my daughter,’ Night Light answers.

Twilight Velvet snorts. ‘Well, I found him charming.’
…

‘I thought he was a terrorist,’ Shining Armor replies, shrugging.
…

‘Trixie paid no attention to him at our first meeting. I just thought he was some random pony that stepped on Maxie’s tail or something stupid like that.’
…

‘I had no idea who he was or how he had gotten past security,’ Celestia sighs.
…

‘I was quite intrigued by this strange pony I had seen,’ Luna states.
…

‘Impressions?’ Stormy shrugs. ‘He sells games. That is all I needed to know. Oh! And when the next Call of Duty game was coming out.’
…

‘He was scary at first,’ Scootaloo states.

‘But we grew t’ like ‘im,’ Apple Bloom adds.

They both nudge a distracted Sweetie Belle.

‘I really like his mane?’
…

Darling licks her lips.

‘I still remember that taste. So delicious.’
…

Lyra closes her eyes and focuses.

‘First memory of him was... “What are hands?”. So, I guess that is a good first impression.’
…

‘James?’ DC asks. ‘Hmm...’

‘He liked my art. That’s all I needed to like him,’ Marvel replies.

‘I thought he was a little weird, but a nice guy,’ DC adds.
…

‘Geez... That was back at the festival after I just came to Ponyville,’ Lucas muses. ‘I thought he needed some sleep. He kept telling my friends Midnight Cloud and Shining Spark to stop fighting. After I met Twilight and Selene, that started to make sense...’
…

‘I could have sworn he was watching me back...’ Inkie remembers.
…

‘Well, I was more concerned about the crazed filly and her royal bodyguards than about the stallion they were with,’ Chrysalis states. ‘I was eased by how calm and friendly he was. Don’t tell him that just a whiff of his love could feed armies.’
…

Del stares and blinks. She opens her mouth wide then stops. She turns back and scratches her chitin with a fang.
…

‘Actually, I didn’t notice Chief the first time we met,’ Derpy replies. ‘Too many packages to deliver. When I came back later to pick up a new game, he hid behind the counter because he thought I had more deliveries. It was funny.’
…

Cheerilee thinks hard.

‘The first time we really met was prep for when I was sick with poison joke. I was so grateful for his help. He really did a great job. I was so happy that my students loved him so much.’
…

Octavia laughs.

‘To be honest, the first impression on me was imagining where to make the first incision on him.’

What is your relationship?

Rei smiles.

‘He is my daddy. He might not be my real daddy, but he is better than a real daddy.’
…

Stormy shrugs.

‘I don’t know. I guess he is a mentor or something.’ He glances down a bit. ‘He is more of a father than either of the stallions who say they are my father... Don’t tell my dad that. He is great too, but I just don’t know him well enough.’
…

Celestia scowls.

‘You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?’ The princess looks away and snorts. ‘He is my best friend, okay? There. I said it. I will never say it again!’
…

The Cutie Mark Crusaders lean in and whisper. They all nod.

‘He is sorta like a big brother to all of us,’ Scootaloo answers.
…

‘Chief’s the Chief, ya know?’ Derpy smiles. ‘He is just there and awesome. A great friend.’
…

Fluttershy kicks at her seat.

‘When you say relationship... … Oh. We are really good friends. Really good, really close friends...’ She smiles. ‘He put me as Rei’s legal guardian if anything happens to him.’
…

‘I dread the day he becomes our son-in-law,’ Night Light states.

Twilight Velvet sighs. ‘Well, I don’t.’
…

Cheerilee smiles.

‘James is a good friend, and I can trust him with my students.’
…

‘He’s jus’ a good friend!’ Applejack shouts. ‘Ain’t nothin’ more than that!’
…

Rainbow Dash shrugs.

‘I don’t know. We don’t hang out much. Guess we’re friends.’
…

Luna gets a crafty grin.

‘As in Rei’s world, one day he will be my king.’
…

‘I dread the day he becomes my brother-in-law,’ Shining states.
…

‘Relationship!?’

Octavia starts adjusting her bow tie to the point where it comes undone.

‘While I do find him to be a pain at times, he is enjoyable to be around. I would say he is a good friend, much like Vinyl is a good friend and not somepony I have romantic feelings towards.’

‘I love you too, Tavi!’ is shouted from an unseen source.
…

‘Mr Wanderer is a great friend and an amazing contact,’ Trixie states. ‘He would be much more valued if he would share a story or two of his off-world adventures.’
…

Twilight smiles and blushes.

‘I think our relationship is pretty obvious.’
…

‘He’s my coltfriend,’ Pinkie proudly states.
…

Del curls in a ball and closes her eyes.
…

Chrysalis thinks.

‘To say he was a friend would be saying more than is true. To say he is less than a friend would be false as well.’

The changeling queen continues to ponder the question.
…

‘Best. Neighbor. Ever.’ Marvel states.

‘He could stand to turn the games and movies down after midnight,’ DC groans.

Marvel looks at his wife then forward. ‘Best. Neighbor. Ever.’
…

Daring smiles

‘He’s my savior. If he were more, that would be wonderful. I can live with just owing him my everything.’
…

‘Of all of the humans I have studied, he has provided the best data,’ Lyra states.
…

Inkie blushes so much she looks like her sister.

‘I hope he will be my father-in-law someday.’
…

Lucas lets out a long sigh.

‘He is my boss, my mentor and my friend. I wish I could be more poetic, but that really isn’t my thing.’
…

‘A relationship?’

Rarity thinks then grins.

‘Well, I never really considered one, but I might give it a go. See what the fuss is about.’ She pauses. ‘OH! Well, in that case, he is a good stallion to have on hoof. Not to mention, he allowed me to find Stormy. I owe him for giving me the brother I never had. … Now if only I could have a darling little sister... … I said “darling”.’

What do you like best about him?

‘He lets me get rated M games.’ Scootaloo grins.

‘He is really fun when he teaches our class,’ Sweetie Belle adds.

Apple Bloom blushes and stares at her seat. Her friends nudge her.

‘Ah really like his mane.’
…

Chrysalis drools.

‘All of that juicy love, just dripping from him...’
…

Del drools.

‘All of that delicious sugar he gives me.’
…

‘That assumes there is something about him I like,’ Octavia replies.

A cello bow hits her across the back of the head.

‘I never knew how much that hurt...’ she grumbles. ‘Fine. I like his caring. Not enough ponies have even a fraction of his caring.’
…

‘Ah like that he challenges me,’ Applejack replies. ‘Not many stallions with the stones t’ take me on ‘round these parts.’
…

‘That beard...’ Rarity sighs. ‘I think about it some nights when I am alone or just have stopped caring that Sweetie is next door.’
…

‘I think he is a thoughtful, intelligent pony,’ Twilight Velvet answers.

‘Define “like”,’ Night Light asks.
…

‘He wanted ME of all ponies to be his daughter,’ Rei replies. She starts tearing up a little. ‘He actually wanted to be my daddy...’
…

‘That flank.’ Celestia looks nervous. ‘WHAT!’
…

‘That flank.’ Luna looks nervous. ‘WHAT!’
…

‘That flank.’ Daring smirks playfully.
…

‘He was the first pony to treat me like an adult,’ Stormy replies. ‘I know he is like that with everypony, but it really means a lot to me.’
…

Twilight sighs contentedly.

‘He is willing to just lay there and do nothing or chat or cuddle or whatever. Those are the best days.’
…

Fluttershy thinks.

‘One thing? His cooking. No! How nice he is with animals. No! How he is willing to just listen when you have a problem. No!’ She looks around nervously and hides behind her mane. ‘His flank...’
…

Pinkie sighs contentedly.

‘He is willing to just lay there and do nothing or chat or cuddle or whatever. Those are the best days.’
…

Lucas shrugs.

‘I just like how cool he is. He is the coolest pony I know.’
…

‘It is so good having somepony to talk science with!’ Inkie motions with her hooves for emphasis.
…

‘The only correct answer,’ Shining begins, ‘is how much he loves my little sister.’

Anything you would change?

‘Fix his mane,’ Applejack laughs, ‘but then he wouldn’ be ‘im, ya know?’
…

Twilight sighs.

‘I wish he was more open with us. We’re his friends, you know?’ She takes a deep breath. ‘Also, I wish he’d stop trying to grow a beard the second my back is turned!’
…

‘Maybe he could be more sharing with his stories...’ Trixie hints.
…

Chrysalis sighs.

‘Actually, that love is hard to access or even process. It is covered by a lot of sadness. I would wish he could be happier, then he would enjoy his love even more. … That is a long time to be alone...’
…

‘His choice in fillyfriends,’ Night Light grumbles.

‘So you don’t approve of who he dates?’ Twilight Velvet asks.

‘I approve of the pony, just not who she is with.’

Twilight Velvet groans. ‘You can be a real jerk sometimes.’
…

Octavia thinks really hard.

‘Can I pick more than one thing?
…

Lucas groans.

‘His sense of humor. The first time was funny, but pretending to fire me all of those other times... … Oh, shut up!’
…

‘Not him per say...’ Rarity muses. ‘I just wish Twilight would allow him to grow out that glorious beard again. Trixie too, in Stormy’s case.’
…

Celestia smirks.

‘He could be more willing to try new things.’
…

Luna scowls.

‘He could be less willing to dote on a certain princess...’
…

Pinkie sighs.

‘He could open up and come to parties more. It would be great to see him come out of his shell more.’
…

‘I want my allowance so I’m just going to say he is perfect in every way,’ Rei says with a nervous smile.
…

Inkie rolls her eyes.

‘It would be better if he didn’t snoop on Rei so much. He has to let her go sometime.’
…

‘Del wants a later bedtime!’
…

Shining shudders.

‘I think it is obvious what I would want to change.’
…

Daring taps her hoof on her chin and sighs.

‘I wish he wasn’t so blunt. It made him look like he was playing hard to get. That and I wish he would leave his shades open after he showers.’ She starts drooling. ‘You see him dripping wet after a shower once...’
…

Fluttershy takes a deep breath...

What is the best thing you have done together?

‘The time we met Daring Do.’ Rainbow Dash smiles broadly. After a pause, she scowls. ‘Yes, I know I can see her almost anytime I want! But it was Daring Do and time travel! I got into one of her books, too!’ She squeezes her cheeks. ‘So awesome!’
…

Marvel and DC look at each other and nod.

‘COMIC CON!’
…

Celestia smiles and sighs contently.

‘That time he took me in his time machine to experience the joys life had to offer.’ She sighs again. ‘That was the time I realized...’ She smiles wider.
…

Daring smiles and looks down.

‘Well, I am here, aren’t I?’
…

‘Has to be the time he saved me from the Daleks,’ Derpy replies.
…

‘Del’s birthday party!’ The changeling licks her lips. ‘So many sweets all for Del.’
…

‘The sleepover!’ all three Cutie Mark Crusaders cheer.

The fillies pause and look forward for a moment.

‘You want us each to answer?’ Scootaloo asks. ‘I guess when he helped with my wings.’

Apple Bloom blushes. ‘Our date...’

‘When he had Rei teach me all of those Neighponese words.’ Sweetie grins.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom edge away from their friend.
…

Fluttershy blushes and giggles.

‘We were “married”...’
…

Applejack blushes and looks down.

‘Our date...’
…

Rarity sighs.

‘The sleepover. First good night’s sleep I got in ages.’ She pauses. ‘Oh. It has to involve him. Then our trip to Neighpon. Absolute dream.’
…

Cheerilee laughs.

‘Being there on parent’s night when all of the parents asked where their kids got all of the strange ideas he taught them.’
…

‘Every single night we have gone stargazing,’ Luna replies. ‘That includes every single astronomy club meeting. It is wonderful knowing that ponies love my nights.’
…

Rei smiles and sighs.

‘The exact best moment was when the paperwork arrived that said he officially adopted me.’
…

Lucas grins.

‘My whole freakin’ job.’
…

‘Well, Trixie would say an off-world adventure if she ever had one...’
…

Stormy smiles slightly and looks down.

‘I got to say goodbye to my mom...’
…

Raspberry smiles slightly and looks down.

‘I got to say goodbye to my son...’
…

Pinkie blushes.

‘Our first kiss...’
…

‘Well, he actually stayed awake during my performance when we were in Los Arion,’ Octavia laughs. ‘Seriously, when he got the doctor to fix up my hooves... Saved me a lot of anguish.’
…

‘Do I have to pick one?’ Twilight asks. ‘I think it changes everyday...’
…

Lyra looks around nervously and leans in.

‘Okay. So there is this place called “Seattle”...’

Worst?

Celestia scowls.

‘There was the uprising in the Griffin Kingdom... I wanted to aid my ally, but he showed up. We fought for weeks. Literally weeks without end. Retrospectively, I know it was for the best.’ She looks away and frowns. ‘We came to blows. I nearly sent him to join my sister several times as well. It hurt me more than his hooves across my horn when he would cite my argument with Nightmare Moon every time I would raise my magic level. The history books only have it down as deliberations with my top advisor. If anypony were smart enough to check five hundred year old medical records... Even princesses can break their ribs, you know?’ She laughs. ‘Of course you know.’
…

Marvel and DC look at each other and scowl.

‘Comiket.’
…

Rei growls. Electricity sparks between her flared wings. Her coat starts turning slightly black.

‘That time he stepped on the CD for my favorite eroge!’
…

Trixie snorts.

‘That damn video game illusion. Although it was not his fault, I would hate to be stuck in that illusion again.’
…

Octavia raises and eyebrow.

‘Worst together or worst where he was on hoof?’ She shrugs. ‘For the first, it has to be when we were locked in the room together. I was so terrified about what was going to happen. For the second, it was when Skybound shot me. I thought I was never going to play again. Thankfully, he was there to help prove me wrong.’
…

Rarity snorts.

‘He got me doing that damn class. At least I am getting paid this time!’
…

Cheerilee facehoofs.

‘I should never have taken a break before a history exam.’
…

Daring frowns and looks down.

‘There were several times during our first meeting... but the worst, ironically, has to be the night he saved me. He had to wrestle the gun from my wings. When it went off... I thought I had killed him. When I saw the smoking hole beside his head and the terrified look on his face, we just laid there crying for hours.’ She starts crying. ‘I almost killed him! He was coming to save me and I almost killed him! I am the worst pony ever!’ She covers her face. ‘Go away! I need a moment!’
…

Lyra looks away sheepishly.

‘When he found out my secret. My marriage almost died that night.’
…

Stormy rubs his horn.

‘That damned ointment.’ He pauses. ‘Yes, I know there are other potentially upsetting events, but you put that on your second most sensitive organ and see how much you like it!’
…

The Cutie Mark Crusaders frown and look down.

‘That other time we tried for our cutie marks... and broke his game.’ Scootaloo whispers.

‘Ah ain’t never seen ‘im so mad,’ Apple Bloom whimpers.

Sweetie Belle starts crying. ‘He yelled at us a lot. It was scary.’
…

Del shudders.

‘When Del walked in on him and Sparkly Twilight. They were both angry. I saw things I cannot unsee.’ She looks up. ‘Do ponies really mate like that? It is so gross!’
…

Derpy contorts her face to think.

‘Not really him, but he could have done something to stop Rei giving Dinky those comics.’
…

Luna frowns. Her coat turns slightly black.

‘Though it is not right blaming him for it, leaving my daughter in the hooves of those two psychopaths for a week... They are lucky my sister and I are so kind or I would have had their heads for harming Rei.’
…

Fluttershy hides behind her mane.

‘I know it is not as bad as what everypony else can say, but when he was mad at me for using Rei to stay in our fake marriage. I... I really did want to disappear. I didn’t mean to hurt them so much.’ She starts sobbing. ‘I love them both so much!’
…

Lucas looks away.

‘The Dalek incident. … I’m not talking about it.’
…

Rainbow Dash frowns.

‘I don’t like talking about it, but the Daleks...’
…

Applejack shakes her head.

‘The Daleks and Ah ain’t talkin’.’
…

Pinkie’s mane goes flat.

‘He was so sad after the Dalek incident... I don’t like talking about it...’
…

Twilight closes her eyes and fights back tears.

‘I never want to think about the Daleks ever again.’

If you could do anything together, what would it be?

Pinkie thinks and thinks and thinks. She looks up and smiles.

‘I just want to smile with him.’
…

‘Does Trixie have to spell it out for you!’ Trixie shouts. ‘I want to visit another planet!’
…

Celestia grins evilly.

‘Well, if it is anything, then the answer would be him.’

She laughs playfully.
…

Marvel and DC look at each other and grin.

‘ECCC!’
…

‘I want to travel in his weird ship,’ Scootaloo replies.

‘I want to know what is behind that closed off room in his shop,’ Sweetie answers.

Apple Bloom kicks at her seat. ‘Ah want another date...’
…

Chrysalis grins evilly

‘I want an invitation to the wedding.’
…

Twilight blushes and kicks at her seat.
…

‘I would want to show him my home,’ Rei says with a smile.
…

Cheerilee scowls.

‘I wish he would take me on one of the field trips he takes my class on.’
…

‘High five!’ Lyra shouts.
…

‘He knows freaking Miyamoto!’ Lucas yells. ‘What do I have to do to get him to hook a brother up!’
…

Daring smirks.

‘Daring Wanderer sounds pretty badass, don’t you think?’
…

‘We totally have to time travel again,’ Rainbow Dash replies.
…

Octavia groans.

‘I would kill for him to not ruin one of my performances.’
…

‘Cake!’ Del replies with a wide grin, her fangs glinting.
…

Fluttershy blushes and kicks at her seat.
…

‘Dear Celestia, just have him act normal for once,’ Night Light groans.

‘Actually, I agree with this one,’ Twilight Velvet adds.
…

Shining shakes his head.

‘I try not doing things with him.’
…

‘He knows freaking Miyamoto!’ Derpy yells. ‘What do I have to do to get him to hook a sister up!’
…

‘Be my best pony...’

Stormy smiles to himself. His head snaps up, and he looks around.

‘What!’
…

Luna clears her throat.

‘We believe we mentioned King James earlier.’
…

‘Well, you see, I have this notebook...’ Rarity begins.
…

Inkie shrugs.

‘Well, he coauthored a paper with Twilight. I think that would be cool if we found a topic we both liked.’
…

Applejack blushes and kicks at her seat.

The sex question.

Rei growls.

‘Why does everypony keep bugging me about that! You want to know the truth! Inkie and I are waiting until we are married! Happy now!’ She crosses her forelegs and looks away. ‘We haven’t even done anything more than kissing...’
…

Twilight blushes and kicks at her seat.

‘It is just a once and a while thing. It is not like it is really something that we really plan for... The unscheduled spontaneity of it all...’ She covers her face. ‘Don’t tell him I got excited just thinking about it!’ She peeks between her hooves. ‘And don’t tell Shining I am having sex. He’ll freak.’
…

Shining looks down and blushes so much his whole coat turns pink.

‘They didn’t see me in the outdoor bath that time in Neighpon... I know about them...’
…

Pinkie giggles and blushes.

‘Sure that is fun, but most of the time I just like the cuddling. Sometimes, I sneak in just for a quick cuddle.’ She sighs. ‘I wish Twilight would join us sometime...’ She sighs then blushes and squeaks, ‘I didn’t mean for the cuddling!’
…

Fluttershy turns pinker than her mane and tries hiding.

‘Oh. Um... We only did that when we were pretending to be married... Just those few times... both times we were pretending... Just then...’ She giggles to herself and whispers, ‘Half a meter...’
…

Applejack blushes, clams up and turns away.

‘Nope.’ She nervously glances forward a couple times. ‘He put an end t’ it. That is all. Ah don’ make up excuses t’ get him in private situations or nothin’.’ She covers her face with her hat. ‘Shuddup ‘bout the Apple Bloom incident. That’s why he stopped us... Tried t’ stop us...’
…

‘That is one area where we have not tread,’ Celestia snorts angrily.
…

Luna blushes deep red. ‘It was just the one time.’
…

‘SHE WHAT!’ Celestia yells.
…

‘Cloudchaser was in Cloudsdale on business. I was lonely,’ Luna explains. ‘Sure, I could have gone and seen her, but I just wanted to spend the evening with him instead.’
…

‘She said she canceled her nightly duties to attend an important meeting!’ Celestia shouts. ‘Oh... A date. Duh.’
…

‘I got a little tipsy during dinner and took him to a hotel... He tried escaping a number of times but eventually, he gave in.’ Luna giggles and looks down.
…

‘My little sister...’ Celestia moans. ‘SHE even beat me to him! Me damn it!’
…

‘It was quite wonderful. I can’t believe it took me so long to...’ She looks up angrily. ‘You try being trapped on the moon for a thousand years with just this!’ She holds up a hoof. ‘It gets really lonely up there!’
…

Celestia gapes.

Last question. What are your personal feelings towards him?

‘He’s great,’ DC replies.

‘Yeah, couldn’t ask for a better neighbor,’ Marvel adds.
…

Cheerilee smiles.

‘I like him a lot.’
…

‘Without him, I would never have met Rei,’ Inkie sighs. ‘I only have him to thank.’
…

‘I couldn’t ask for a better stallion friend,’ Rarity says with a nod. She pauses. ‘No, I mean a stallion who is a friend. I never really had one of those before him.’
…

Derpy grins.

‘Chief is the best. He is almost as cool as The Doctor.’
…

‘I have a lot of respect for him,’ Chrysalis replies. ‘He is probably the pony I respect the most.’
…

‘As much fun as Trixie has with him, I am glad to have met him. I can’t think of a better friend.’
…

‘Oh geez,’ Lucas groans. ‘He is more family than my real family.’
…

Night Light takes a deep breath. ‘I can’t think of any better pony to be my son-in-law.’

‘We really do adore him,’ Twilight Velvet adds.
…

‘He is easily the most BAMF stallion I know,’ Rainbow Dash replies.
…

‘Del loves Wanderer. He is like a father to Del.’
…

Octavia smiles.

‘I am honored to have had that chance encounter with him.’
…

Lyra sits up proudly.

‘I have admired him since the day I was born... give or take a couple weeks.’
…

‘We might have our differences,’ Shining sighs, ‘but I cannot wait for him to be my brother-in-law.’
…

Daring kicks at her seat.

‘I... love him. I never felt that way about anypony before...’
…

‘I really do like him like a brother,’ Scootaloo sighs.

‘Me too!’ Sweetie agrees. ‘He is as cool as Stormy.’

Apple Bloom bites her lip. ‘Ah like ‘im more than mah brother...’
…

Stormy smiles a bit.

‘I love him like a father.’
…

Celestia groans and looks away.

‘You’re going to make me say that too, right?’ She shakes her head and smiles. ‘As I hinted at earlier, I love you, James.’
…

Luna kicks her seat a bit before looking up and smiling.

‘I love you, James.’
…

Applejack tries hiding behind her hat.

‘Ah... Ah... AH LOVE YA!’

She gallops away as fast as she can.
…

Fluttershy sits up as proud as she can and smiles.

‘Thank you so much for understanding me. I love you, James.’
…

Pinkie smiles her widest smile. She wipes away a tear.

‘I love you, James. You are the most important pony to me.’
…

Rei starts crying.

‘I love my daddy more than anything in the world, even Inkie.’
…

Twilight blushes bright red. She kicks her seat.

‘I love you. I love you more than Celestia. More than Shining.’ She looks up with tears in her eyes and smiles. ‘I love you more than my friends. More than Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie and even Spike. I love you, James. I can’t think of anypony I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you.’

A television and a couch float in a dark void. The television displays the end of Twilight’s confessions. Two figures sit on the couch. James wipes the tears from his eyes after hearing what Twilight said to him. A lion paw offers a tissue.

‘Thank you,’ The Emotional Physicist mumbles. ‘Thank you, Discord. That was wonderful.’

‘Happy birthday, James.’

‘Happy birthday, Discord.’

The Wandering Physicist embraces Discord. The lord of chaos hugs the smaller pony back before snapping his fingers, breaking his spell.

James rolls over in his bed. He sighs and wipes some happy tears away while reaching for his mobile. He sighs when he looks at the time.

‘Happy birthday, me.’

Author's Note

Story Event: Second birthday I celebrated since finding MLP. I really didn't know how to properly express how I felt abut the show at that point. I don't really know how to now. Honestly, before finding the show and starting this series, I was in a pretty bad place. I still am pretty lonely, but the show has helped fight back against a lot of bad thoughts I used to have.

The story wasn't really for anyone but me. It was a lot of words I really needed to hear, but nobody was saying. To know that people enjoy my writing was a good birthday present. It is always something good to hear and makes me really happy when it is said.

The Perfect Evening

Main Characters: Stormy, Rei, Inkie, Image
Cameos: TWP, Lyra
Original Start Date: November 11, 2012
TWP Reader Survey 2 - If you're up to it.

‘Rei! Hurry up in there! We’re going to be late!’ The Dressed-up Physicist yells.

It is the night of Ponyville High School’s annual prom. James has been roped into chaperoning to help make up from Rei’s crazy behaviour over the past year. He is waiting for Rei to finish getting dressed so he can finish his grooming as well.

‘Come on! I need to wash up!’

The washroom door opens. A white muzzle partially appears and looks the waiting stallion up and down. A brush is shoved into his hooves.

‘Fix your mane,’ Rei snaps before slamming the door.

‘Come on, Rei. You’ve been in there for hours.’

‘I HAVE TO LOOK PERFECT FOR INKIE!’

James groans as he combs his mane. There is trotting on the stairs. He looks down and waves at Image Crystal. James knocks on the door again.

‘Image is here. You’re perfect.’

Rei storms out of the washroom. ‘I’M NOT READY!’

Rei stands in the hall growling at her dad. With her designer dress from Rarity, styled mane, preened wings and brushed coat, the young mare is beautiful. There is a thump from the stairway as Image faints from the sight.

James smiles and kisses his daughter on the forehead. ‘You look perfect. My perfect, lovely daughter.’

Rei blushes and looks down. ‘Thank you... I’m ready.’

‘I’M NOT READY! I HAVE TO LOOK PERFECT FOR REI!’

James groans and hits his head against Inkie’s apartment door, messing up his mane. On the ground below him, Image snickers. Stormy trots beside his friend. He looks at his laughing peer and moaning mentor then looks at Inkie’s apartment.

‘You look fine!’ the young unicorn stallion shouts. ‘Let’s get this over with!’

Image looks at his friend next to him. Stormy is in a crisp tuxedo, hoof-stitched by Rarity, complete with the freshest rose from the Flower Trio’s shop. His mane is gelled back, his horn is polished and his fetlocks are evenly trimmed. In contrast, the other young stallion is wearing one of his dad’s old suits, barely has a combed mane and still has flecks of paint in his tail from his last commission. Image feels a little inadequate next to his metrosexual friend.

‘Keep looking at me like that, and you’re taking the prom photo with me,’ Stormy jokes.

‘Sorry. You just look...’

Stormy grumbles. ‘I spent three days with Rarity, Fancy Pants and Fleur trying every material on the planet and being measured countless times. I know I am perfect.’

‘That’s a bit of an understatement.’

‘I know... I had to tell Fleur I am dating Trixie a dozen times. Supermodels don’t seem to listen when you reject them.’

Image’s jaw drops. Stormy smirks at his friend’s reaction. There is another knock on Inkie’s door.

‘STILL NOT PERFECT!’

‘Uh... Inkie-chan.’

The apartment door flies open. The young grey mare is wearing her Rarity dress, which matches her coat and hair. Her mane is styled to the side, actually revealing both of her eyes for once. Rei’s wings stick straight up. She and Inkie stare at each other, blushing at the beauty they see in each other. James looks at the two lovestruck mares then down at Stormy. The unicorn nods and levitates them down to ground level. James joins the group and leads them to their dance with destiny.

‘You just talk to them,’ Stormy groans.

‘But what if...’ Image tries countering.

‘Nope. Just talk with them. Mares are just like stallions only they don’t smell as bad.’

‘Thanks for the expert analysis,’ Inkie grumbles.

‘But mares do smell better than stallions,’ Rei counters. ‘Just ask any pegasus.’

‘That is just because your nose is specially-tuned to pick up on scents. If you ask any regular...’

‘It was on MythBuckers,’ James interrupts.

Inkie pauses. ‘Huh. So it must be true.’

The group comes to a stop at the school. Other teens are entering the building with teachers and chaperones. None of the teens want to be the first to step forward. James goes to the front of the group.

‘Be safe,’ He tells Stormy as he puts something in the young stallion’s pocket. ‘Be safe,’ he says as he does the same to Image. He stops in front of Rei and Inkie. He looks at both of them and leans in. ‘She is my daughter. I will know if if you two do anything.’ The stallion turns towards the dance and trots forward. ‘Let’s get this over with!’

The teens nervously kick the ground before Stormy looks up and nods. Rei smiles at her friends and nods too. The others laugh and gallop towards the dance, passing their escort on the way.

Stormy escorts Image around the gymnasium. The building is full of schoolponies mingling, dancing and generally enjoying the atmosphere. The unicorn levitates a glass of punch as they pass the bowl.

‘I don’t see what you are so nervous about,’ Stormy says. ‘You just have to be yourself. If they don’t like who you are, then it is their loss.’

‘It can’t be that simple,’ Image worries. ‘I mean, just look at you or Rei or Inkie. You have layers of swag that I can’t hope to achieve.’

‘The veneer is meaningless if the pony behind it isn’t sincere. You really should have signed up for Rarity’s class like I told you.’

Image takes a few deep breaths to calm himself. ‘Okay. I think I am ready. Any last bits of advice?’

Stormy smirks. ‘Don’t be afraid to tell her how much you like her cutie mark. At the very least, tell her how much you have noticed it. Also, don’t be afraid to brag about your special talent. Chicks dig artists and love modelling for them.’

Image nods. ‘Right. Makes perfect sense. I’ll just... Eep!’

The young stallion tenses as a young earth pony mare trots up. ‘Hi, Image.’ She grins as her attention changes. ‘Hi, Stormy.’

‘I have a fillyfriend,’ Stormy bluntly states as he trots away drinking his punch.

‘Shoot.’ The young mare frowns then looks at Image. ‘What are you staring at?’

‘You have a lovely cutie mark. I’ve been noticing it from afar.’

The young mare scoffs, ‘Pervert,’ and trots away.

Image moans and trots away to find his courage again. He passes Rei as the young mare turns away from the punch bowl. She has a glass of punch on both wings as she prances away. The young pegasus gets blocked by a pair of older pegasi mares. They glare down at the shorter pony.

‘Um, excuse me,’ Rei ask. ‘I don’t want to get punch on my dress. Rarity made it specially for me.’

‘Pfft. Looks like a cheap Rarity knockoff,’ one of the mares scoffs.

‘If it is real, you probably had to trade half your stupid shop to afford it,’ the other taunts.

‘Actually, my daddy got it for me. He got them for both me and my date.’

‘You have a date?’ the first mare laughs.

Rei nods. ‘Yep. I was getting her punch. That is her over there.’

Rei points with a free hoof at Inkie, who is looking around and trying not to feel out of place. The two mares gape at Rei’s date.

‘She is probably blind if she is going out with you,’ one mare taunts.

‘Listen, I am trying to be nice about this,’ Rei huffs. ‘I don’t want to ruin tonight. Inkie never went to real school, so it is important that her first dance be perfect. This is your one warning to let me pass and not interfere.’

The other bully scoffs. ‘Maybe not blind. Probably her sister or something.’

Rei snorts. She tosses the glasses of punch into the air, quickly charges her electrical affinity and taps the bullies on the neck. The mares get shocked expressions and collapse to the ground. Rei catches drinks and calmly trots over to Inkie. The young mare smiles at her date and takes her punch.

‘What did they say?’ Inkie asks.

‘You are my blind sister.’

Inkie laughs. ‘You would think they could come up with something better than that.’

‘Nopony is as smarty as Inkie-chan.’

‘Except for maybe Full Moon.’

Rei blushes and squeaks. Inkie giggles at her date. James trots by only to stop a random young stallion. He puts something in the stallions pocket.

‘Be safe,’ The Protecting Physicist advises and trots away.

That stallion does not get far before he is stopped by a teacher.

‘And just what the hell do you think you are doing?’ the teacher demands.

‘Giving out balloons. What does it look like, Lyra?’

Lyra glares at the stallion before backing off and shrugging. ‘Whatever. Balloons are perfectly fine.’

‘Good. Then you won’t mind using your intel-gathering skills to help me give them out.’

‘Why would you need my..?’

James puts a box in Lyra’s hoof. The mare looks at the box, then screams and drops it on the floor.

‘Just trying to stop unwanted pregnancies.’

Lyra grimaces as she taps the box. ‘I haven’t had to deal with those since my last health class...’

‘I don’t see what the big deal is. I use them all the time.’

‘I know...’ Lyra sighs. ‘Fine. If it is for the kids. But you owe me a good story by the end of the night.’

The stallion nods. ‘By the end of the night. I promise.’

The two ponies hoof bump and set off on their mission.
…

Image has left what remained of his dinner outside, collected his courage and is back in the gymnasium planning his next move. He see a cream-colored unicorn mare he likes and slowly trots up to her. She does not seem to notice the young stallion beside her. Image opens his mouth to talk, but no words come out. He quickly gallops away to collect himself again. The young mare looks around and sighs.
…

On the dance floor, Rei and Inkie stand on their hind legs and dance together. The smaller mare leans against her fillyfriend’s chest and coos.

‘Inkie is best dancer.’

Inkie laughs. ‘Actually, the whole family is pretty good, even Blinkie. I think it was something innate in all of us that Pinkie helped us discover.’

Rei laughs. ‘You have the second best big sister after Rainbow.’

‘Do you mean...?’ Inkie looks down. Rei has her face buried in Inkie’s dress. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Sorry. I was just thinking of my family back home. I wish they could see me like this. They only ever saw me when I was sad or upset. They never got to see me when I was truly happy like I am now.’

Inkie lifts Rei’s face and smiles. ‘I know how beautiful you look. I am extremely lucky to see how happy you are too.’

Rei smiles and wipes her tears on a tissue. She leans up and kisses Inkie. Some of the couples dancing around the pair look over and cheer them on.

Rei leans back down. ‘I love you, Inkie-chan.’

‘I love you too, Rei.’

The music stops. Another couple compliments Rei and Inkie on how good they look together, getting shy smiles and blushes in return. The music comes back on with a more energetic beat. The young mares smile at each other and start tearing up the dance floor.

Across the room, Stormy has finally been cornered. A large group of young mares and some young stallions have him pinned against a wall and are asking for a dance. Stormy sighs and reaches into his tuxedo.

‘I figured this was going to happen,’ Stormy grumbles, ‘so I had Rarity help draw this up.’ He gets out a long scroll. ‘I discussed it with my fillyfriend and if you sign this agreement, you will all be allowed one and only one dance. No kissing, horn touching, wing touching or other actions by either party. Our hooves stay at the shoulder or higher. If you violate this agreement in any way, the dance is forfiet and I’ll see you in court.’ He looks around. Nopony has left. He looks down and sighs. ‘Buck. Fine. Who’s first?’

The group mobs forward all at once and gets held up. A random pegasus stallion slips to the front of the group. He smiles at Stormy. The young unicorn shrugs and levitates the contract and a pen.

‘Whatever. If you behave, I might let the guys kiss. I know Trixie would die of laughter if she found out.’

The other ponies sort themselves out and line up behind to sign the contract. Stormy sighs again and escorts the other stallion to the dance floor. They are stopped by Lyra. She looks them up and down and puts something in the pegasus’ pocket, getting a groan from Stormy. The teacher makes her way around the room where she meets up with James. She sits in a huff by her partner in crime.

‘I am so glad Bon Bon is a mare,’ the unicorn grumbles.

‘How’s that?’

‘Well, two of the couples I stopped were so stupid that they didn’t know how to use one. I had to put one on my horn to show them!’

James laughs. ‘They were probably just messing with you.’

‘I am so going to fail them on Monday,’ the teacher growls.

‘Also, you have to give them to mare-mare couples too, just in case.’

‘Why is that?’

James leans over and whispers. Lyra’s eyes go wide.

‘I did not know that,’ the mare gapes. She tries looking behind her. ‘Are my wings sticking up? I think my wings are sticking up.’

‘You don’t have any wings.’

‘Phew. That would have been embarrassing.’

‘Your horn is sporting a cool, radioactive green glow, though.’

Lyra squeaks and tries covering her horn. She blushes bright red. ‘It is a good thing Bon Bon and I don’t need those. I let my fingers do the talking.’

James gives Lyra a disturbed look. ‘I’m going back out there to teach the kids about safe sex.’

‘That’s probably a good idea.’

The two adults reach to hoof bump but stop. They sigh and finish the bump before splitting again.
…

Stormy levitates a mobile as he takes a picture of himself with his current dance partner. After getting the picture, the younger unicorn male gives Stormy a kiss on the cheek and gallops away happy. Stormy laughs a bit when he sees the jealous faces from all of the young mares waiting to dance with him. He motions for the next in line to step forward. A pale yellow pegasus mare with a golden mane steps to the floor and takes Stormy’s offered hoof.

‘Sunshine,’ Stormy greets.

‘Stormy,’ Sunshine Drops giggles. ‘Before we start, I want to tell you something.’

‘I have a fillyfriend.’

‘More importantly, my parents are out of town for the weekend.’ She leans in and whispers, ‘We can have the whole place to ourselves.’

‘Do you want this dance to end?’

Sunshine pouts. ‘Fine. You don’t know what you are missing.’ She smirks. ‘And the offer still stands when you are ready.’

Stormy groans as the dance continues. Image sidles up to one of the mares waiting to dance with Stormy. She looks at him and rolls her eyes.

‘Line starts over there.’ She points. ‘But I think he is booked for the night.’

‘Actually, will you dance with me? I’m a bit of an artist. My name...’

‘Oh! You’re an artist,’ the mare comments. ‘I just thought you didn’t know how to use the washroom.’ She pretends to whisper, ‘Try washing your tail better.’

Image whimpers and gallops away, accidentally slapping the mare with his tail. She grumbles and goes back to waiting for her turn with Stormy. The cream-colored unicorn from earlier trots over, looks around and sighs before leaving.
…

James and Lyra meet up by the refreshments.

‘Gave out seventeen,’ the stallion reports.

‘Gave out this many.’ Lyra holds up a hoof.

‘Hooves, not hands.’

‘Right. Gave out ten, but all to couples with seventy percent and above chance of mating.’

‘Speaking of which, have you seen my daughter?’
…

Rei trots through the halls of the school with, giving her her first tour of the building. They are careful not to enter any of the classrooms so not to disturb potential occupants.

‘It feels so weird being in school again,’ Inkie comments. ‘It has only been a couple years since uni, but it feels like forever ago.’

‘Was that a lot different from this?’

‘I guess so. I was through with both so quickly.’

‘I actually graduated back in Neighpon. Top of my class... and the least popular student in school...’

‘Good thing that has changed.’

‘Has it?’

‘Did you even hear half of the ponies that stopped me tonight! They all told me how lucky I was to be with you. You are a very popular pony, Rei.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah! Everypony told me how you helped them against bullies but ended up getting in trouble instead. A lot of them wish they could help you out.’

‘I... didn’t...’

‘Rei is the type of pony everypony should know.’

Rei tackles her fillyfriend in a tearful hug. ‘Inkie is the best! She deserves a better fillyfriend than Rei!’

Inkie kisses Rei. ‘How could I have better when I have the best already?’

Before she can tear up again, Rei flips Inkie onto her back and takes off, flying away as fast as they can.
…

Image sits at a table and groans, his hooves covering his head. Somepony sits beside him.

‘Go away. I want to be left alone.’

‘Striking out, huh?’ Stormy asks, on a break from his dance queue.

‘Shut up. Everything you told me doesn’t work,’ Image moans. ‘When I try talking, I can’t say anything. When I actually can say something, they call me a pervert.’

‘You’re just asking the wrong ponies. Come with me.’ Stormy gets up and trots away. ‘Come. With. Me. … Now I sound like Rarity.’

The unicorn grabs Image’s tie with his magic and drags the earth pony to his hooves. He pulls his friend across the room to the refreshments. The cream-colored unicorn is pouring herself some punch. Stormy clears his throat. The unicorn turns and gasps.

‘My friend here was just telling me how pretty he thinks you are. Right, Image?’

‘Um, well, uh,’ Image stutters. He takes a hoof to the knee but is able to stand. ‘Uh, yes! You are quite lovely.’

‘Th-thank you,’ the mare replies.

‘I’ll leave you two to dance,’ Stormy says as he turns away.

The two ponies stare at each other.

‘I’m Moon Glow,’ Moon Glow introduces.

‘Um, I’m Image Crystal. Um... Dancing?’

‘I’d love to.’

Image laughs a bit out of shock, and leads Moon Glow to the dance floor.

Rei leans against Inkie as they sit and watch the stars. Inkie looks around herself then leans against Rei.

‘You know how to make the impossible possible,’ Inkie giggles.

Rei giggles too and taps her hoof down. They are sitting on a flattened cloud Rei made solid by charging it like a plasma window.

‘Inkie...’

‘Yes?’

‘I know you don’t like heights, but is this okay?’

‘It is amazing, R... Full Moon. It is truly amazing, my beloved Full Moon. You are truly amazing, Full Moon.’

Rei coos and cuddles closer to her date.

After a couple dances while chatting, Image and Moon Glow are enjoying a slow dance with the young mare resting her head on the young stallion’s shoulder. The music stops. The two ponies drop back to four legs and stare at each other. Moon Glow slowly leans in kisses the surprised earth pony. The kiss is interrupted by James putting something in Image’s pocket.

‘Wait,’ the older stallion says. ‘I already gave you one.’ He shrugs and trots away. ‘Better safe than sorry.’

Image’s naturally red cheeks turn redder. Moon Glow giggles and kisses the young stallion again. She smirks a bit and nods towards the back exit. The two ponies make their way through the other dancers. Stormy groans as he continues to dance with the current young mare in the rotation. He looks around and sees his mentor standing at the back wall. The young stallion mouths ‘bored’ and scowls. James grins and points to the entrance. Stormy leads his partner so he is facing the main doors. Suddenly, the doors burst open and a cloud of smoke and fireworks fill the gymnasium. A light blue mare with a perfectly-styled silver mane and wearing a stunning gown steps forward. Stormy immediately shoves his dance partner aside.

‘I thought you weren’t going to come,’ Stormy gapes.

‘This is my beloved’s big night, and The Great and Powerful Trixie always keeps her promises.’

Trixie advances towards her coltfriend and gives him a kiss.

‘The Kind and Handsome Stormy loves The Great and Powerful Trixie.’

‘Now there is a title that truly is an understatement.’

Stormy and Trixie kiss again. The other ponies start returning to the dance floor, and the DJ restarts the music. The couple kiss again as they attempt to begin dancing. The attempt fails as the couple starts making out in the middle of the dance floor. Trixie stumbles a little from the force of Stormy’s kissing. The young stallion blushes and holds out a hoof when he accidentally knocks Trixie to the ground. She smirks and pulls him to the ground. All of the other dancers stop and stare in shock. Lyra trots up to James and stands beside him.

‘Took longer than I expected,’ Lyra comments.

‘It has been a bit. They are a little rusty,’ James replies. ‘Think we should stop them?’

‘Oh, definitely.’

‘Agreed. You run interference with the teachers, I’ll block the exits.’

The adults cackle and go about keeping the other teachers and chaperones from ruining Stormy and Trixie’s moment.

Rei’s and Inkie’s dresses hang with care as not to get messy. The two mares roll around on the floor/bed in Inkie’s apartment. Eventually, they find a comfortable position and lay with Rei on top of Inkie. The smaller mare’s wings stick out to her sides, and she flaps them gently.

‘Stupid injuries,’ Rei grumbles. ‘They make my wings sore in this cold weather. I should be all healed up by now.’

Inkie giggles as Rei fidgets on her back. ‘I barely noticed any change in your flying. It is still terrifying to me, but I love when you take me up like that.’

‘I love how tightly you hug me.’

‘I love hugging you.’

The two mares giggle and say in unison, ‘I love you.’

Inkie carefully rolls around so that Rei is laying on her belly. ‘Rei, have you ever wanted to take our relationship further?’

Rei buries her muzzle in Inkies chest and mumbles, ‘Twice a week when Del and my dad aren’t listening...’

Inkie blushes. ‘Not like that. There has to be some step between here and there we can go to.’

Rei fidgets more and tries burying her muzzle deeper in Inkie’s chest. ‘Actually... There is one thing... … No! I am too scared to say it!’

‘What is it? You can tell me anything.’

Rei lets out a loud whine and gets up. She digs in the folds of her dress for a moment. Her breathing sounds like she is about to hyperventilate. Eventually, the panicking pegasus turns around and sets a small box in front of Inkie. The earth pony’s eyes go wide.

Rei slowly calms her breathing. ‘I know we are both too young, and I am definitely far from ready, so this would be like a very, very, very pre-engagement.’ She opens the box to reveal a jeweled bracelet.

‘It is gorgeous,’ Inkie gasps. ‘When did you get it?’

‘I had Daring pick it up for me a month ago. My dad doesn’t know I got it... I’ve... been too scared to say anything until now.’

Inkie gets the rare occasion to tackle Rei in a hug. ‘I love you so much! Of course I’ll marry you one day! I love you, Full Moon!’ She starts peppering Rei with kisses.

Rei giggles under the kisses. ‘This isn’t really an engagement band. It is...’

‘Shut up. I don’t care. The only thing I care about is my beloved Full Moon.’ Inkie lays on Rei’s chest and sighs, ‘The future Mrs Full Moon. I can’t wait for that day.’

Rei giggles, ‘Mrs Full Moon Pie.’

The bad pun sits over the two mares in love for several moment before both start roaring with laughter.

James and Lyra stand outside of the gymnasium. They are herding the students out while thanking them for coming. The students look a little shocked. At the other side of the exit, another teacher glares at the two ponies.

‘Thank you for coming, Mr Wanderer. These dances are usually so dull.’

‘Think nothing of it,’ James replies. ‘It is my pleasure to help keep the students safe before it is their pleasure.’

‘Speaking of which, good timing getting Stormy and Trixie out before the principal caught them. I would hate to have lost my best student.’

Image and Moon Glow trot out together. James quickly slips something into the young stallion’s pocket. The adults laugh as Image groans and trots away with his new fillyfriend.

‘So, what happened to Rei?’ James asks.

‘I thought she was still inside with Inkie.’

James pauses. ‘You are the master of tracking everypony, and you lost my daughter.’

‘Oh, don’t worry. I took her aside after class the other day and gave her all the pointers she would need for what she is probably doing right now. I never noticed before that her coat was really bright pink.’

‘You better be joking or you are joining Maxie in the magicless club.’

‘Of course! I saw them flying away earlier. See. I knew where they were.’

‘I meant about the other thing.’

‘Of course! It wasn’t just her. It was every filly with a fillyfriend. I wanted them all to be prepared.’

James holds up his mobile. ‘Yeah, Ponyville School Board? I have something to tell you about Lyra...’

The unicorn jumps the stallion. ‘Gimme that! It was all a joke! Rei and Inkie are just back at Inkie’s apartment.’

The last of the students exits, and the other teacher shoos away the troublemakers. They head back towards town together.

‘Oh. Is that all?’ James puts away his mobile. ‘I hope she finally proposed. Daring and I spent so long picking out the right bracelet.’

Lyra stares in shock. ‘Do what now?’

The Proud Parent smirks. ‘Rei got Inkie a pre-engagement bracelet. I couldn't be happier for the two of them.’

‘I have to write about this.’

‘Fine. We’ll compare notes at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie should still be up, and I am feeling the need for brownies and doughnuts.’

Lyra pokes the stallion in the gut. ‘Says the pony who stuffed himself on those at his birthday.’

‘Hey. Gotta get my favorites in on the one day Twilight can’t complain.’

Lyra laughs. ‘Just wait until you two are married. That changes everything.’

‘Says the pony who is the main reason Bon Bon’s stocks don’t spill into the street after three days.’

‘Pure coincidence.’

The pair of adults are stopped by a young pegasus stallion. He blushes and looks around.

‘You two are the ones giving out...’

James and Lyra each put something in the young stallion’s pockets. ‘Be safe!’

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Rei and Inkie get pre-engaged. Image gets his first fillyfriend.

Fun fact: You learn all sorts of things about sex if you take a basic, college-level health class.

Fun story: In my health class (had to take it for teaching credential program), we naturally had to do a condom demonstation.
'So! Who want to show us how to put on a condom?' the campus health officer asked.
The class was silent.
'... Not on yourself.'
'OH!' the class replied.

Yes. That actually happened. Yes. It was the greatest moment in my time at college.

RSI and the Mystery of Parenting

Main Characters: Rei, Stormy, Silver Spoon, Righteous Midnight
Cameos: Image, Scootaloo, Twist, Sunshine Drop, Jade Emerald, TWP, Daring Do, Diamond Tiara
Original Start Date: November 18, 2012 (Wii U Day! … If I had the money T_T)

Rei and Stormy chat while they wait for their last class to start. Image mopes at his desk. His first fillyfriend, Moon Glow, recently moved out of town. They only had enough time for one date before she left. Around the room, other groups of students relax. A small group of young mares stare and sigh at Stormy, hoping to get his attention. The health teacher, pegasus Patience Goodheart, enters the room with a rolled-up scroll in her mouth. She sets it on her desk and turns to the quieting class.

‘Sorry that I am late,’ Ms Goodheart apologizes. ‘I was just finishing up preparations for your last assignment of the year.’

Several students, including Rei, cheer at the announcement.

Patience groans at her class’ reaction. ‘Anyway, we are going to be studying parenthood. And to do so, you are going to pair up as family units. The units will be one colt and one filly, since that is the most common family unit despite recent advances in science and magic.’

Several hooves shoot into the air.

Patience groans again. ‘Not like how my cousin explained it to you a few weeks ago.’

‘OH!’ most of the class exclaims.

The teacher sighs. ‘I have arranged for volunteers from the local elementary school to play your foals. You will help with their education, watch them after school, make sure they are eating properly and any other basic parenting duty that might arise. I have arranged for the local hotel to offer discount rates on basic rooms if you want to take the extra step (and get some extra credit) and try living as a family as well. You would need parental support from all parties and clear it with me first, though.’

‘Ooo! Ooo!’

‘Yes, Rei?’

‘Can you pair me and Stormy with Del as our kid?’

‘I have already picked the family units.’ Patience unravels her scroll and holds it in her wings. ‘Also, I don’t see a “Del” on this list. She must not need the extra credit Cheerilee is offering.’

‘Damn right,’ Rei laughs. ‘Me and daddy are teaching her to be a perfectly normal pony.’

The rest of the class starts laughing.

Stormy leans back. ‘Rei, there are certain words that you shouldn’t use to describe yourself. “Normal” is one of them.’

Rei snorts then looks up. ‘Me, Image and Apple Bloom?’

‘Since you are so keen to find out your partner, how about we save you for last?’ Ms Goodheart counters. Getting a frown from her student, the teacher continues, ‘Okay. Cheerilee’s class gets out after we do, so when I announce your group, you are free to leave to meet your junior partners and get started on your assignment. I would recommend meeting with the foal’s parents to find out any of their needs and to plan living arrangements if you wish to go for the extra credit. The assignment won’t officially begin until next week, but it never hurts to start early. Any last questions before I announce the groups?’

A number of fillies raise their hooves.

‘I think I know what most of you are going to ask,’ Patience sighs. ‘In that case, Stormy is partnered with Jade Emerald.’

‘YES!’ a green unicorn shouts, double hoofpumping.

Stormy groans and hits his head on his desk. A number of other young mares in the class grumble at their excited peer.

‘You two will be paired with a nice young filly named Scootaloo. You two are free to go if you want.’

Stormy gets up and levitates a copy of the assignment from Ms Goodheart’s desk. Jade prances across the room beside her pretend husband. Before they exit, Jade turns back and sticks her tongue at her peers.

Patience shakes her head. ‘Moving on...’
…

‘Next group is Image Crystal and Sunshine Drop. You are paired with a filly named Peppermint Twist.’

An annoyed-looking yellow pegasus trots towards the door followed by the sullen earth pony.

‘Listen, I am going to need the extra credit. You better not try anything weird,’ Sunshine huffs as they leave school..

‘Don’t worry,’ Image moans. ‘Stormy taught me how to be a perfect gentleman. … At least Moon Glow thought so...’

‘Hm... You are friends with Stormy, aren’t you?’ The pegasus grins craftily. ‘This might work out better than I thought.’
…

The classroom is almost empty. Just a few students remain to be paired off. Rei is still excited to be paired with any of the remaining colts in the room. Ms Goodheart looks in the excited young mare’s direction.

‘All right, Rei. It is your turn.’

Rei squeals with excitement.

‘You and Mr Righteous Midnight will be watching Miss Silver Spoon.’

‘Cool!’ Rei cheers.

A dark blue unicorn groans, ‘Why do I have to be with the spaz?’

‘First of all,’ Patience hisses, ‘Rei is a lovely young mare. You should consider yourself lucky to be paired with a friendly pony like her. Second, she is doing much better than you in this class, possibly others. Maybe she might have a good influence on your grade. You may also want to look into the extra credit option as well.’

‘Fine,’ Midnight groans. He trots towards the door. ‘Let’s go.’

Rei trots after her fake husband. They make their way out of school, but both head in different directions.

‘Schoolhouse is this way.’ Rei points.

‘Yeah, well, the thing is I have work right after school,’ Midnight replies. ‘You don’t mind if I take off so I can get there on time?’

‘I have work right after school too.’

‘Yeah... but you own your place and have employees. My boss would be very upset if I were late.’

‘You’re going to tell him about this assignment, right? I am willing to do my part, but you have to help too.’

‘Yeah, whatever. Everything will work out the way it is supposed to.’

Rei sighs and shrugs. ‘Fine. Tell me where you work, and Silver Spoon and I can at least say “hi” and start planning.’

‘I am not sure Mr Rich will allow me to use my break for that, but you can try. Well, see ya.’

Midnight gallops away. Rei snorts and flies to the schoolhouse. Other groups are waiting and planning their assignment. Rei lands by Stormy, who is being smiled at by Jade, and Image, who is being ignored by Sunshine in favor of Stormy.

‘Hey, guys,’ Rei greets.

‘Shouldn’t you be with somepony?’ Stormy asks.

‘Well, uh, he had to get to work...’ Rei smiles nervously. ‘Marriage is a give and take.’

‘I can take anything you give me,’ Jade tells Stormy.

‘Me too!’ Sunshine adds.

Stormy groans, ‘This is going to be fun.’

‘So, who is going to go for extra credit?’ Rei asks.

Sunshine rolls her eyes. ‘Well, I need it, so I’ll get my parents to help out with getting a room.’ She glares at Image. ‘Nothing weird, okay?’

The earth pony sighs and nods.

Stormy leans in to his friend and whispers, ‘Think of it this way: you will get to spend a week with one of the most popular fillies in class.’

Image’s ears perk up and he grins.

‘Nothing. Weird.’ Sunshine growls.

‘I was thinking of asking Inkie if I could use her place,’ Rei says.

‘What about me?’ Stormy asks.

‘Find your own Inkie or use your fillyfriend’s apartment.’

‘Yeah. That is one conversation I want to have with Trixie.’

‘Come on, Rei,’ Image protests. ‘You can always swap with Daring since it is your shop. Then me and Stormy get to fight over who harasses your fillyfriend for the keys to her apartment.’

Rei glares at her friend. Electricity sparks between her flared wings.

‘Don’t worry. I think I can take him,’ Stormy says. ‘I was able to lift a whole ocean.’

‘Stormy is so strong,’ Jade coos.

The magenta unicorn sighs as he holds his pretend wife away from kissing him. The bell rings, and the schoolhouse starts emptying. A number of students remain inside to receive extra instructions from Cheerilee. Some of the foals look at the waiting teens before heading home. Del stops just outside of the door and watches the unusual occurrence. Diamond Tiara marches to the surrogate parents.

‘Which one of you is going to be working with Silver Spoon?’ the filly demands.

‘I will, Diamond-chan!’ Rei cheers, waving.

‘Well, you better be nice to her. She doesn’t have the best home life, and I’ll be pissed if you ruin the one week she gets a change.’

‘Don’t worry. Rei-chan is a good mommy!’

Diamond Tiara moans and trots past. She stops by Rei. ‘If you are anything like your dad, yes, you are.’

The filly gallops away before Rei gets a chance to hug her. Slowly, the students file out of the schoolhouse. They go to the different pairs to find who they are assigned with. When the Cutie Mark Crusaders exit, Sweetie Belle immediately gallops to Stormy and hugs his leg.

‘I am sorry that I couldn’t get you, Stormy,’ Sweetie sobs.

‘Don’t worry about it.’ Stormy waves. ‘Hey, Scoots! Over here!’

‘WHAT!’ Sweetie’s voice cracks, causing everypony except Stormy and Rei to wince.

Scootaloo trots over. Sweetie growls at her friend.

‘Sup,’ Scootaloo greets. ‘Guess we’re hangin’ out next week, Stormy.’

Stormy hoofbumps Scootaloo. ‘Looks like it. We’re going to try getting Trixie or Inkie’s apartment to stay in. Hope your mom is okay with that.’

‘Sure. We can go talk to her now.’ The young pegasus looks at Jade. ‘Hi. I’m Scootaloo.’

‘Jade Emerald. Nice to meet you. Cute mane.’

‘Uh, thanks? So, you know how to get there, right?’

‘Could you show us?’

‘Fine.’ Scootaloo hops on her scooter and turns to wave at her friends. ‘See ya tomorrow!’

Scootaloo flaps her wings, and the young adults follow after the skating pegasus. Sweetie Belle growls and stomps a bit before looking for her partners.

‘Hello, Mithter Image,’ Twist greets as she trots up. ‘Do you remember me from your shop?’

‘Of course I remember you, Twist,’ Image replies. ‘This is Sunshine Drops. She will be working with us.’

‘Nith to meet you.’ Twist holds out a friendly hoof.

Sunshine weakly shakes the offered hoof. ‘Hi... You know, I can give you some tips to keep your mane under control.’

‘Be nice,’ Image groans. ‘You only get one chance to make a first impression.’

‘It’th okay. Tho, do you want to talk about thith athsignment?’

The three ponies trot away, leaving Rei alone. Other classmates, Apple Bloom and a couple other foals wave to Rei as they leave. Del looks around and goes to Rei, thinking the mysterious event is over.

‘Time to go home now?’ the filly asks.

‘Not yet. Besides, I have work after this.’

Del perks up. ‘Free Pocky?’

‘Only if Del works for it.’

‘Del wants Pocky, but Del also does not want work. Y U torture Del!’

Rei laughs and gives the filly a pouch of Pocky from her saddlebag. Silver Spoon eventually exits the building while talking with Cheerilee. Rei smiles and trots over.

‘Hi!’ Rei greets.

‘Hello, Rei,’ Cheerilee replies with a smile to rival the young mare’s. ‘I was just answering some last-minute questions from Silver Spoon here. … Aren’t you supposed to be with somepony?’

‘He had to work.’

‘Oh, that’s too...’

‘I understand,’ Silver Spoon interrupts. ‘Some parents can’t always be there, even if they want to.’

‘Cheer up, Silver Spoon,’ Cheerilee encourages. ‘Rei is one of the nicest, smartest, funnest ponies in Ponyville, if not Equestria. You’ll have a great time with her.’

‘I guess...’

‘Pocky?’ Del offers.

‘No thanks.’

Del shrugs and eats a stick in one bite.

‘Well, I’ll leave you to get to know each other and discuss the assignment,’ Cheerilee says. She reenters the schoolhouse. ‘Have fun!’

Rei waves and trots away with the two fillies beside her.

‘What is the real reason your partner didn’t come?’ Silver Spoon asks.

‘He really is working. It is just one of the allowances we will have to make.’

‘Hm... What about the extra credit? Are we staying at your place or something?’

‘I’m going to talk to the pony that lives above my shop, so we’ll probably stay there if you want to.’

‘It took a lot of begging, but I got my mom to agree to everything for the assignment as long as you two pay for the food and other stuff.’

‘We can always live off Pocky and CC Lemon, and I can write it off as a business expense,’ Rei giggles.

‘That might work, but you’ll have to claim me as an employee on your tax forms.’

‘Tax forms? I was only joking.’

‘Oh.’ Silver Spoon adjusts her glasses. ‘So, um...’

‘Want to come over? I can show you around the shop, or you can hang out with Del at home.’

‘Okay... I guess that sounds fun.’

‘OH! And you are going to have to tell me all of your favorite foods and dishes so I can make everything you love!’

Silver Spoon looks up at Rei. The young mare looks down and smiles. The filly returns the smile.

James trots into his home after work and immediately notices something is amiss. There are far too many ponies than there should be.

‘There are far too many ponies here than there should be,’ The Observant Physicist notes.

‘Hey, sexy!’ Daring shouts from the couch.

Beside Daring, Silver Spoon leans slightly forward and waves. Del lays, curled up, in front of the couch pony-tatoes while sipping a juice box.

‘Hi, Mr Wanderer!’ Inkie’s voice calls from the kitchen. ‘We’re just finishing up dinner.’

‘Daddy’s home!’ Rei cheers, also from the kitchen.

James counts on his hooves. ‘Yep. Far too many. I’m going to Twilight’s.’

‘Ah, ditching me already, roomie?’ Daring teases.

‘What was that?’

‘Just helping the kid with her homework.’

‘… What was that?’
…

James sits at the kitchen table, surrounded by guests, after dinner. Rei finishes explaining her assignment.

‘And that is all there is to it,’ Rei concludes.

‘The song in the middle was a little over the top,’ James sighs. He looks around at the mares in front of him. ‘Rei, get Silver Spoon home.’

‘Yes, sir.’

Rei motions and the filly follows. James looks at the remaining ponies.

‘As for the rest of you, I am willing to help Rei.’

‘YES!’ Daring double hoofpumps.

‘You will be staying in your old room.’

‘Oh, I’ll stay there, but I’m not sleeping there.’

‘So it begins...’ James shakes his head then turns to Inkie. ‘You can have Rei’s room that week.’

Inkie blushes. ‘Rei’s...’

‘Oh, geez. You two are engaged.’

‘Pre-engaged,’ Inkie corrects.

‘Whatever. I’m going to rest for a bit.’

James gets up and goes to the couch. Daring follows and hops beside him. He gives her an annoyed glare.

‘Cuddle buddy?’ the treasure hunter counters.

James groans and buries his head. Back at the table, Del looks up at Inkie.

‘Mr Wanderer gives me lots of ice cream after dinner,’ the filly says.

‘Nice try, Del,’ Inkie giggles.

After the next few days of preparations, the health class is ready for their first day of their assignment. Most of the students wait outside of the schoolhouse again. Rei is one of the few students to show up alone. The schoolhouse bell rings, and the foals run out. A number of them have supplies for staying with their temporary guardians. Sweetie Belle grumbles in Scootaloo’s direction as the friends split up. Rei waves down Silver Spoon, and they trot away together.

‘He didn’t show up again,’ Silver mumbles.

‘Don’t worry,’ Rei assures. ‘Midnight will be here. He’s going to have to help out if he wants his grade.’

‘You really think so?’

‘He has to! On the last day, our teacher will interview all of us and base our grades on that. You’re going to help determine if we pass of fail.’

‘Hmm...’ Silver Spoon adjusts her glasses. ‘At this point, you would be the only one passing.’

Rei laughs nervously. ‘It will be fine... It will be fine...’

‘My dad said it would be fine too...’

Rei gives the filly a worried smile. ‘Hang in there. Don’t worry.’

The two ponies chat while they trot through town. They pass Image’s group as the young stallion tries carrying all the bags Sunshine Drops insisted on packing. Jade waits for Scootaloo outside her home. Back in the nerd district, the streets are less active as the usual customers are out trying to make the first day of their assignment work. Rei and Silver Spoon enter Neighponese Imports.

‘Hey, Rei! Sup, Silver Spoon!’ Flitter greets while heading towards the back.

‘Flitter-chan,’ Rei replies.

‘Who was that?’ Silver Spoon asks.

‘Flitter works the day shift while I am at school. We try to have one pony on duty at all times.’

‘But we are borrowing the upstairs from your boss?’

‘Rei’s the boss, kid,’ Daring says as she trots up. ‘I’m just in charge when she ain’t around.’

Flitter trots out of the back. ‘Catch all of you in the morning. Don’t cause too much trouble.’

Daring and Rei wave to their friend.

‘You two take a moment to get settled,’ Daring tells Rei. ‘I’m betting it will be pretty slow.’

‘I bet you’re right. Is everything cleaned up?’

‘Cleaner than Kaeko left it, and I packed away all of my stuff too.’

‘Thank you. You’re a great help.’

‘Hey. It is the least I can do for keeping my cover and giving me a place to stay.’

Rei and Daring hoofbump before the younger mare leads Silver Spoon to the back and upstairs.

‘I know we went over it the other day,’ Rei begins, ‘but as a reminder, the door to the shop will be locked while you are visiting. I will have the only key since I’ll have to go to and from work. As long as somepony is working out front, the back door will be open in case you need to get something.’

They reach the apartment. There is a kitchen and dining area, a living room, a washroom and two bedrooms. A study is locked tight. Rei goes around the apartment. Silver Spoon remains standing in the doorway.

‘Daring’s study is off-limits. She has the only key. You and I will take one room. Midnight has the other. Watch out. I’m a cuddler.’

Rei giggles at her last statement. Silver Spoon looks around and adjusts her glasses. She warily raises a hoof and steps in.

Rei smiles as wide as she can. ‘Welcome home, Spoon-chan!’

Silver Spoon blushes. ‘Th-thank you.’

‘Want me to get you a snack before I go back downstairs to work?’

‘Sure... What do you have?’

Rei hops over to the kitchen. She opens the refrigerator. ‘We have all of your favorites. We have your favorite fruits and juices.’ She goes to the cupboard. ‘We have your favorite crisps and biscuits. And I got all the ingredients to make your favorite dishes. My daddy even helped me get that type of soda you like but they don’t make any more.’

Silver Spoon stares in shock. She goes to the kitchen and looks at her options. She stares up at Rei with her mouth gaping a bit.

‘Everything okay?’ Rei asks.

Silver Spoon gives Rei a hug. ‘Nothing is wrong. Thank you.’

Rei pats the filly on the head. ‘Feel free to help yourself to anything. I’ll be working until the evening, but I’ll be right downstairs if you need anything.

Image fumbles with the keys to Inkie’s apartment. Sunshine Drops gives an annoyed sigh as she waits. Finally, the door opens and the group enters the apartment. Sunshine gasps at how barren the home is.

‘Sorry there isn’t much,’ Image apologizes, ‘but this is all Inkie can really afford. She has to save between growing seasons when her skills aren’t in demand.’

‘This is worse than a hotel room,’ the shocked pegasus complains.

‘She may not have many furnishings, but the apartment is still well-equipped. There is a good kitchen, a nice washroom and she has a lab downstairs. Well, we can’t use it since she locked it, but it is not a bad apartment.’

‘Do you think sthee will let me sthee the lab if I athk?’ Twist asks.

Image shrugs. ‘Probably, if she is not busy.’

‘And where are we sleeping?’ Sunshine scoffs. ‘Do I have to fly out and bring down a cloud?’

‘Actually, you and Twist can have Inkie’s bed. I’ll stay out here.’

Sunshine is surprised. ‘Oh, uh, that’s... Thank you.’

‘Um, yeah. Can I get your share of the food money? I don’t know what Inkie left us, but I also want to have dinner.’

‘Oh, right.’

Sunshine and Twist set their bags of bits on the floor. Image picks them up and heads to the door.

‘Back in a bit.’

Image leaves Sunshine and Twist to themselves. Twist looks around then finds a spot to start her homework. Sunshine sighs and sits by the filly.

‘Need any help with that?’

After work, Stormy shows his guests around Trixie’s apartment.

‘So, that is about it,’ Stormy sighs. ‘Trixie just doesn’t want everypony going through her stuff, but she will allow me to give you souvenirs if you behave.’

‘Sweet. Can I get a hat?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘Super sweet!’

The young stallion rolls his eyes and goes to the kitchen. ‘Anyway, I’m famished. Mind if start I dinner?’

‘Oh! Let me take care of that for you,’ Jade says, pushing her way into the kitchen and against her partner. ‘I am sure you’ll love my cooking.’

‘We are in my fillyfriend’s apartment.’

‘Don’t worry. I’ll find where everything is and put it where it goes.’

‘Fine. Whatever.’ Stormy maneuvers around the amorous filly. ‘Just lay off the cheesy lines from Harpflank. Gonna have to tell her to write better material when I see her tomorrow, right kid?’

Scootaloo nods. She is blushing and her wings are sticking up after witnessing the display before her. The young stallion sighs and finds a spot in the living room.

Rei yawns towards the end of her shift. Both she and Daring laugh to themselves as they hear Silver Spoon trotting around upstairs, neither of them used to somepony in the apartment during business hours. The shop door opens and Midnight trots in.

‘There you are,’ the colt comments.

‘Uh, yeah...’ Rei replies. ‘Can I help you? I am still working.’

‘This late? Shouldn’t you have started dinner?’

‘Well, I was thinking you would have done that since you get off work a hour before me. We went over this.’

‘Sorry. I was out with my friends.’

‘And I am working. I know this is just the first day, but you can try helping a little.’

‘Fine! I guess I can get something started.’ Midnight starts rounding the counter. ‘Which way...?’

‘Back out the door and around the building. The back rooms are off-limits to you and Silver Spoon.’

‘Geez! You have to make everything so damn complicated.’

‘We went over all of this already. Now stop making a scene. I would hate to have to ban you from my shop on your first visit.’

‘Oh, right. Because the Daring Do coplayer would get really upset.’ He turns towards Daring. ‘Nice try. I’ve seen the pictures. You got the mane all wrong.’

‘Get out of my store!’ Rei snaps.

‘Tisk, tisk. Yelling at your husband on the first day. Setting a great example for the little one.’

Midnight laughs and exits the store. Rei growls. The tips of her wings show a hint of black. She focuses to get her rage under control. Daring goes to her friend.

‘Too late to get another partner?’

‘I will not electrocute him in his sleep... I will not electrocute him in his sleep...’ Rei mutters.

‘I guess not.’ Daring pats Rei on the back. ‘Don’t worry. Hopefully, most of the time will be with the kid. She has a pretty good head on her shoulders.’

Rei does not respond.

‘Rei?’

‘Sorry. I was just thinking. I really don’t want to fight in front of her, but Midnight really seems to be out to push my buttons. Like he doesn’t care about Silver Spoon at all.’

‘You’ve only really gotten to know her, what? A couple days before this assignment?’

‘She comes in time to time for aloe drink. She says we have the best.’

‘Right. So you don’t really know her yet, but you care this much. I am sure that will keep you from doing anything stupid in front of her.’

Rei smiles. ‘Thank you, Daring-neesama.’

Daring laughs. ‘Anytime, kid.’ She looks up. ‘I still only hear one pony up there. Take off early. I am sure your dad wouldn’t mind me being late.’ She smirks. ‘Just as long as he isn’t early.’

Rei blushes and giggles. She leans over to her friend and whispers. Daring’s wings instantly stick out.

‘Do they know you listen in?’

Rei nods. ‘I think so.’

‘Geez. And here I thought his walls are soundproofed.’ Daring shrugs. ‘Oh, well. Del and Inkie know my MO. They won’t be surprised at all.’

‘Good luck, Daring-neesama,’ Rei giggles as she heads out the back.

The young mare trots up the stairs to the apartment. Silver Spoon has the television on while she does homework. Midnight is nowhere to be seen. Rei swears as she gets out her mobile.

Silver Spoon looks up. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Midnight should have been here making dinner by now. I am finding where he... Shimata... Why is his mobile pinging from across town?’

Rei angrily types out a text and goes to the kitchen. She takes a calming breath. Silver Spoon sighs and frowns as she goes back to her work.

‘So, what do you want me to make?’ Rei says with a smile. ‘I have been practicing all of your favorite dishes, so I hope I can make them the way you like them.’ Rei’s mobile buzzes. She glares at the message. ‘Besides, your fake father won’t be joining us.’

‘Whatever is fine,’ Silver Spoon sighs.

‘Oh, no. You have to pick something magical and special. You are the one calling the shots as long as you are with me.’

Silver Spoon smiles. ‘You sound like my dad...’ She looks up. ‘How about fettuccini alfredo?’

‘That might take a bit of time.’

‘Then that will just give us that much more time together, won’t it?’

Rei smiles and gets to work on the dish.

The next day at lunch, Rei breaks from her friends and flies around the cafeteria. She lands behind Midnight and taps him on the back. The colt turns to face the upset pegasus.

‘Yeah?’

‘Where were you last night? You never came back after I asked you to get dinner started.’

‘I told you. I was out with friends. What’s the big deal?’

‘You were the one who came in my store and demanded food. We went over what we were supposed to do for this assignment and agreed on what our roles were going to be.’

‘I agreed to take care of what I needed to take care of. You can play mommy all you want as long as I get a good grade in the end.’

‘You will help out. You have to do something or else Silver Spoon won’t give you a good report in the end.’

‘Geez. Whatever. Get off my back. You’re starting to sound like a real wife. Maybe once you are my age, you will learn to relax a little.’

Rei snarls and stomps away. Midnight and his friends laugh at the angry pegasus. Rei looks for her friends. She finds Image and Sunshine eating together and joins them.

‘Sorry if I am not in a good mood. Midnight is not agreeing to our plans,’ Rei grumbles.

‘Oh, he’s a real jerk,’ Sunshine replies. ‘He used to use his magic to mess with fillies’ manes when we were in grade school. Oh! And thank you so much for asking your fillyfriend to loan us her apartment. I’ll definitely make it up to the two of you.’

‘Yeah. Inkie is a sweety. Why are you two together? Where’s Stormy?’

‘I thought I was too harsh on Image so I’m trying to get to know him better,’ Sunshine replies.

‘As for Stormy...’ Image begins.

The young stallion looks around the cafeteria and finds his friend. Stormy is slowly making his way to the group with Jade following him everywhere he goes.

‘It appears she is staying exactly three steps behind him.’

Rei giggles.

Image looks at his friend. ‘That is a Neighponese thing, right?’

‘I taught her that to mess with him.’

Sunshine giggles. ‘You are a fun one. I am sure everything will work out. If not, then the filly you are with will likely give you the glowing report you deserve.’

Rei sighs. ‘I hope you’re right.’

Rei sings along with the new Full Moon album playing over the speakers. Daring trots over to her friend.

‘This is really catchy. What is the title of this song?’

Rei holds up the CD case. ‘Treasure Hunter (Not a Heart Stealer).’

Daring stares at the CD. ‘Think I can sue for royalties?’

The pegasi laugh at the joke. The shop door opens, and Image enters with Twist.

‘Hey, guys!’ Daring greets. ‘How can we help you?’

‘Yeah, uh, I was wanting to show Twist some comic drawing techniques,’ Image replies. ‘Do you have a fresh stock of the pens I like?’

‘Right this way.’

Daring leads Image away, but Rei stops them.

‘Hey, do you think Silver Spoon would want to join you?’ Rei asks. ‘She’s been kinda bored, and Diamond hasn’t made any plans with her.’

‘Sounds fun. Twist, go and ask.’

‘Right around the back of the building,’ Rei directs.

Twist nods and gallops away. She heads around the building and through the back entrance.

‘Hello?’ Twist calls as she knocks on the apartment door.

The door creaks open, and the filly enters. There is nopony else visible, but she can hear talking coming from a bedroom.

‘I am really excited for this weekend,’ Silver Spoon’s voice says. ‘I am sure it will be fine with my assignment. … And I am certain Miss Rei will love meeting you. She loves everypony. … Anyway, I have to go. I think somepony just came in. … I love you too, dad.’ Silver Spoon comes out of the bedroom. ‘Yes?’

‘Thorry to interrupt,’ Twist apologizes. ‘Mithter Image wath going to sthow me how to make comicth, and we want to know ith you want to join uth.’

‘That would be lovely. Thanks for asking.’

‘Who were you talking to?’

‘Oh, uh, it was my dad. We’re supposed to meet up this weekend. I am really looking forward to it.’

‘That’th thuper! I hope you have fun.’

Silver Spoon smiles. ‘We usually do.’

The two fillies exit the apartment to find Image.

Scootaloo watches Jade cooking dinner. The unicorn seems in her element as she uses her magic to prepare several dishes at once.

‘That is so cool,’ the young pegasus gapes.

‘Thanks! I hope to take over my parents’ restaurant.’

‘Well, you’re good enough.’ Scootaloo sits back and looks at the young mare. ‘Hey, Jade, what is up with your mane? It looks shinier than most ponies.’

The unicorn laughs. ‘You know how the Crystal Empire returned recently?’ She gets a nod in return. ‘Well, not every crystal pony was trapped by the curse. Somewhere down the line I have an ancestor who is a crystal pony. When Miss Sparkle and the rest restored the Crystal Empire, my mane and tail started sparkling. It think it is pretty awesome.’

‘Really cute, too. Wish I could have that.’

Jade giggles. ‘You have a colt or filly you are trying to impress?’

‘Shut up! It is not like that!’

‘Diamond Tiara or Apple Bloom?’ Stormy asks as he trots past.

‘SHUT UP!’

‘Welcome home, dear,’ Jade coos.

‘Hey. Sorry I’m late. Rarity needed help with a client.’

‘It is all good as long as you’re here.’

‘Uh huh. Need help with anything?’

‘I’m fine, but maybe Scootaloo will want some mane styling tips from the expert.’

Stormy rolls his eyes. ‘When I find one, I’ll let you know.’ He looks at Scootaloo. ‘Homework done?’

‘Sure. I guess,’ the filly replies.

‘Okay.’ Stormy uses his magic to turn off the television. ‘Then no TV until it is.’

‘That’s not fair!’

‘I have music and my own homework, so I am set for the night. If you need help, just ask.’

Stormy gets out his assignments and sets them on the table. Scootaloo grumbles and goes back to work herself.

Rei and Silver Spoon watch television and eat the filly’s favorite brownie ice cream after dinner. Silver Spoon sighs as she slowly eats her dessert. Midnight is not in the apartment.

Rei looks down at the filly. ‘If you wanted ice cream soup, I could have heated that up for you.’

‘What? Oh! It’s fine. Really.’

Rei frowns and puts a wing around Silver Spoon. ‘Forget about him. If he doesn’t want to have fun with us, then it is his loss.’

‘That is not it. Really... It is fine...’

Rei sets down her ice cream and gives the filly a full hug. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Silver Spoon gives a long sigh. ‘When I was a much younger foal, before I even started school, my mom kicked my dad out. She is a lawyer so she got everything she wanted, including me. It isn’t that bad. I get everything I want, but I only get to see my dad once a month since he moved to Trottingham.’

‘I’m sorry. And because big, mean stupid head isn’t here...’

‘It is fine... I am used having only one parent around.’ Silver Spoon smiles slightly. ‘Besides, my dad is coming this weekend. He promised me we’d have fun.’

Rei gasps and hugs tighter. ‘I get to meet Spoon-chan’s dad!’

Silver Spoon laughs. ‘I knew you would be excited.’

‘So, what are you going to do? Do you know yet?’

‘He hasn’t told me. He said it will be great, though.’

Silver Spoon tries pushing free. ‘It won’t be for a couple more days. It is no big deal. Really.’

‘Of course it is a big deal. If it is important to you, then it is a big deal.’

‘Th-thank you, Rei.’

‘Now with the good news out of the way,’ -- Rei picks up her ice cream again -- ‘did you finish your homework?’

‘Twist and I got stuck on a couple problems. Can you help me?’

‘Always! Anything for you. Finish up your ice cream, and we’ll get right to it.’

Rei licks up a puddle of melted ice cream from her bowl, getting a brown stain on her muzzle. Silver Spoon laughs and eats a big spoonful of ice cream.

James groans and tries sitting up in bed. He is stopped by a yellow-brown mass.

‘Daring...’ the stallion moans. ‘One, you have to stay in your room. Two, we have to get to work.’

Daring mumbles, ‘...to work.’ in her sleep and reaches under the covers.

James bolts upright, dumping the sleeping pegasus to the floor. ‘Not like that!’

Lunchtime at the Ponyville Schoolhouse is always busy. The foals run around the yard, play games and generally cause trouble. Cheerilee gets a workout trying to keep up with them. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon calmly eat their lunch together while watching the others. Diamond Tiara laughs as Scootaloo chases her friends. The young pegasus is wearing a starry hat and cape.

‘Get back here or face the wrath of The Great and Powerful Scootaloo!’

The other Cutie Mark Crusaders laugh as they gallop from their friend.

Diamond Tiara laughs one last time before turning to her friend. ‘So, did you hear there is going to be a special showing of the weird musical you like? Allegro or something like that.’

Silver Spoon gasps. ‘They are going to be performing Allegrezza here!’

‘I guess so. Whatever. I thought you would know that sort of thing.’

‘Oh! My! Celestia! I have to get tickets!’

Diamond Tiara snorts. ‘Good luck. You would have to be my dad or somepony important. They are sold out.’

Silver Spoon grabs her friends. ‘Diamond Tiara! I have the biggest favor of your life to ask you!’

‘Sheesh. Calm down. I’ll ask my dad when I get home.

‘Thank you so much!’

Silver Spoon gives her friend a big hug. Diamond Tiara groans. There is a loud thump on the table. A large shadow falls over the two fillies.

‘The Great and Powerful Scootaloo demands you get a room.’

Diamond Tiara glances at how Scootaloo is standing and gives her friend a slight push. Scootaloo stumbles back, trips on her cape, pirouettes and crashes onto her assailant, knocking her free from the hug. Apple Bloom picks up the fallen hat and flips over the cape covering the two fillies.

‘The Great and Powerful Apple Bloom says y’all are the ones in need o’ the room now.’

After school, Stormy and Midnight wait outside of the schoolhouse for their assigned partners. Both unicorns are trying not to acknowledge the presence of the other.

‘Looks like Rei finally forced you to be a decent pony,’ Stormy snorts.

‘Whatever,’ Midnight groans. ‘It is my day off, and this counts as credit.’

‘Do you even know the name of the foal you are supposed to be helping?’

‘Silver Spoon. Geez. With the way the spaz has been taking care of her, a perfect grade should be in the bag.’

‘That “spaz” is my best friend. And if you had half the parenting instinct she does, you would see her as more than a grade.’

‘I have more instinct than she does since I actually have parents. I’m not adopted by some weirdo.’

‘That “weirdo” is one of my mentors. You should show him a little respect.’

‘Whatever. He probably touches her. I know I would. She might be annoying as hell, but she can be hot.’

Stormy takes a very deep breath and releases it. ‘If I weren’t a gentleman, all that would be left of you right now is four smouldering spots where your hooves once stood.’

‘What? Are you saying you don’t want to tap that? Thought you had the hots for her or something.’

‘I did at one time, but that was before I met my fillyfriend.’

‘Oh, yeah... The hot magician. I’d hit that too.’

Stormy growls, ‘If you say one more thing about Trixie...’

Midnight laughs. ‘Trixie likes to su...’

The rude unicorn is lifted into the air and dropped back down. Stormy stands over his prone target and slaps Midnight’s horn to prevent him from charging a spell.

‘That is enough out of you,’ Stormy hisses. You are a rude and disgusting creature. If Miss Goodheart had any sense she would drop you from the class before you could do any more harm to your partners, especially Silver Spoon. You are supposed to be setting a good example for her and you are coming off as nothing more than a real flankhole. Get your act together before your world comes crashing down, and you are left as just the pathetic shell of a pony you are.’

‘Pfft. At least my mom is alive.’

Stormy’s rage bursts. His horn glows with a dark energy. His eyes glow green as the negative energy flows through him. Before he can act, the school bell rings. The students gallop to freedom. Stormy gets his rage under control and steps back.

‘You are lucky I didn’t have a chance to finish you,’ the furious unicorn growls.

‘You wanted to finish me? Pervert.’

Stormy steps on Midnight’s hoof as he trots away to find Scootaloo. The young pegasus gallops up and jumps on her friend’s back.

‘Hey, Stormy!’

‘Scoots,’ Stormy greets. ‘Got something fun for us to do today. Lemon sent me some of her recipes. How about we make some ice cream back at Trixie’s place?’

‘Sounds gr... AWESOME!’

Stormy laughs and trots away with his passenger. ‘We’ll have to make extra to share with your friends. Don’t want Sweetie being too jealous.’

Midnight grumbles and stands. After dusting himself off, he looks around to find Silver Spoon watching him from a distance.

‘Well!’ the unicorn shouts.

Silver Spoon flinches. She gallops to catch up with Midnight as he hurries away. Diamond Tiara glares at the rude stallion as she heads home. Silver Spoon catches up to Midnight. He glances down at her.

‘Got everything you need for tonight?’ the unicorn asks.

‘Y...’

‘Good.’ Midnight snorts the looks back down. ‘Hey, you’re rich, right? Can you give me twenty bits? I want to get a new game.’

‘I-I don’t take money with me to school.’

‘Geez! Fine. When we get you back to the apartment, you go inside and get me twenty bits, okay?’

‘N-no! That is my money for emergencies.’

‘Well, I need a new game. It is an emergency.’

‘Please stop talking to me like this.’

Midnight stops and looms over the smaller filly. ‘Listen, kid. The world ain’t nice. This is how adults talk to each other. You’re going to grow up to be a sugar mama to some stud, so get used to giving out money for favors.’

Silver Spoon stares up at Midnight. Tears start forming in her eyes.

‘Oh, geez. You’re going to pretend to cry just to get your way. Fine! Keep your money. When you get older, you’ll know what the score is!’

Midnight storms away. Silver Spoon tries to take a moment to collect herself.

‘Come on!’

Silver Spoon yelps and hurries to catch up.
…

Rei restocks a shelf with stone bowls imported from Equina. The back door is heard slamming followed by clopping on the stairs. A loud sob is heard through the floor. Rei calmly sets down the bowl she is handling and trots to the front door. Daring stops her.

‘Daring, move. I am going to kill him.’

‘Rei, think about it. Do you really want to hurt another pony?’

Electricity sparks between Rei’s flared wings. Her eyes flash for a second, her mane appearing ethereal for the same instant.

‘Hurting is the least of the outcomes that impudent foal has to worry about!’

Daring puts her life in her hooves and slaps Rei. Instantly, all the energy surrounding the pegasus is dispersed. Rei blinks as she regains her senses. She looks up towards the apartment and takes off for the back, knocking over the monitor attached to the cash register and scattering a display of candy all over the floor. Daring takes a moment to catch her breath and check her pulse.

‘I really have to stop attempting suicide around that family. One day, it will get me.’ She pats the ground. ‘I’ll get the mop.’
…

‘I can take care of him,’ Rei says as she holds Silver Spoon. ‘Make it look like a heart attack or a freak plasma storm.’

‘N-no. What he said was just unnerving. I-I am feeling better now.’

‘Want to go back home and see your mommy?’

Silver Spoon shakes her head. ‘N-no. I am fine. Here was closer after we split. I think I’ll call her, though. You can go back to work.’

Rei shakes her head. ‘Not until I am certain Silver Spoon is okay.’

‘Thanks... I wish you were my mom instead. Or at least a sister or something.’

‘Your mommy cares about you. She lets you have fun friends and do weird projects like this. She even lets you see your daddy when he gets the chance. I’m just somepony that gets to pretend to be a mommy for a week, so of course all I want to do is the fun stuff. I’ll talk with Midnight tomorrow. Get his side of things and see if he’ll apologize. Either way, I’ll have to tell our teacher about this too. I might be a bit late picking you up after school.’

‘That’s fine. I can do something with Diamond Tiara while I wait.’

Since I am here, what do you want for dinner? If we don’t eat all of the ice cream, I am sure Del will.’

Silver Spoon laughs. ‘In that case, let’s invite her over.’

‘Okay,’ Rei giggles. ‘I’ll go talk to my daddy while you talk to your mommy.’

Rei give Silver Spoon one last hug before leaving to see her dad.
…

‘It will all be all right,’ James assures as he holds Rei. ‘Being a parent is hard, and you can’t always be there when times are tough. I think this assignment is teaching that lesson to you more than to your peers.’

Rei moans and buries her muzzle in her father’s chest. ‘I just don’t want her to be sad anymore, but I don’t know if what I am doing is right.’

‘Neither do I most of the time. You just have to keep trying and doing what you think is right and hope it all works out.’

Rei whines and hugs tighter. ‘Don’t tell Inkie this is one of the worries I have and why we are only pre-pre-pre-pre-engaged.’

‘Oh, I think she might know already,’ James laughs.

A grey hoof pets Rei’s back. Inkie is sitting on the couch next to the father and his daughter. Rei smiles at her fillyfriend.

‘You weren’t supposed to hear that,’ Rei says.

‘It is okay. You take all the time you need,’ Inkie replies. She giggles. ‘If it makes you feel better, I’d be worried about foals like me or Pinkie. We used to cause a lot of trouble on the farm together.’

Del trots past to her room. She is drinking a juice box that is impaled on her fangs.

‘And then there is Del...’ James groans.

The next day. Silver Spoon mopes at her desk during recess. She is still a little upset, especially since she could not contact her mother last night. Diamond Tiara sits beside her friend and snorts.

‘I tried asking my dad to fire the bastard, but he said I couldn’t do that since being a total flankhole doesn’t affect his job performance,’ the pink filly grumbles.

‘You don’t have to do that,’ Silver Spoon sighs. ‘I don’t want him blaming me for that.’

‘At the very least, my dad is going to watch him more closely. He’ll shape up if he thinks his job is on the line.’

‘We only have a couple more days left. No need to worry.’

‘Very well.’ Diamond Tiara leans back in her seat. ‘Anyway, getting tickets might be harder than I thought. My dad said he would have to pull a lot of favors to get them. Sorry about that.’

‘It is okay. Besides, it was going to be the day my dad was going to be here. I’d much rather see him than go to a play.’

‘Hmpf. Well, can I at least be sorry for something? I am trying to be a good friend here.’

Silver Spoon laughs. ‘You’re doing great, Diamond Tiara.’ Her mobile starts ringing. ‘Sorry. Give me a moment.’

Diamond Tiara nods and turns away. Silver Spoon gets out her mobile and answers as covertly as possible.

‘Hello? Mom! I have been trying to... What? … Oh... But...’

Silver Spoon frowns as she listens to what her mother has to say. Diamond Tiara looks over and sees the tears starting to form in her friend’s eyes.

Rei trots up to the schoolhouse. She is later than she hoped because she had to scold Stormy for being violent towards Midnight, something the scolded took in stride and the other unicorn was shocked to see. The tired pegasus looks around the yard before popping into the building.

‘Did Silver Spoon leave already?’ Rei asks.

Cheerilee takes a break from cleaning. ‘I think so. I haven’t seen her since class got out.’

Rei moans and continues her search. She eventually finds Diamond Tiara standing beside a play fort.

‘She’s inside,’ the pink filly reports. ‘She has been in there since school got out. I... don’t know what happened, but I think it had to do with her dad’s visit. That’s all I know.’

‘Thanks.’

For once, Rei is thankful for her small size as she squeezes into the fort to confront a sobbing Silver Spoon. The grey filly turns and immediately hugs Rei as tight as she can.

‘He’s not coming, Rei! He’s not coming! Mom won’t let him come! It is all my fault! He is not coming because of me!’

‘Shh. What happened? Maybe I can help.’

‘You can’t... It is all over. Mom said the because I wanted to do this project she is counting it as my time with my dad for the month. She even forced him to agree to her terms too. It is my fault he can’t come. I wanted to do this, and now he can’t come.’

Rei comforts the sobbing filly. ‘Don’t worry. Rei is a smarty. I’ll figure something out. Let’s get you back to the apartment.’ The young mare forces herself out of her trap. ‘Hey, if it makes you feel better, Midnight and Stormy are going to apologize for upsetting you yesterday.

‘I guess so...’

Rei frowns. ‘You want to know what cheers me up when I am saddy?’

Silver Spoon looks up at Rei. ‘What?’

Rei grins. She looks at Diamond Tiara, who responds with a raised eyebrow. The pegasus quickly tosses Silver Spoon onto her back and shoots into the sky. Silver Spoon screams and holds on for the ride of her life. Diamond Tiara stares as the two ponies disappear into the sky.

‘I am totally jealous right now,’ the pink filly gapes.

Back at the apartment, Rei is on her mobile. Silver Spoon is in the washroom trying to fix her mane after the high-velocity flight. The exhilarating first flight followed by an apology from Midnight and Stormy has calmed Silver Spoon enough. Rei paces as she waits for the other party to pick up.

Hello? a stallion answers.

‘Hi! Are you Silver Spoon’s daddy?’ Rei asks.

Uh, yeah? Who is this?

‘I am Tsukiyo Rei. I have been taking care of your daughter for the past week as part of a school assignment.’

Oh, right. She told me about that. Is everything okay?

‘Far from it. I heard you are not coming this weekend.’

There is a long pause. Yes. Her mother says that she had to give up too much time with our daughter for your project already...

‘I am really sorry about all the trouble I caused. I just want Silver Spoon to be happy. If you can tell me what you were planning to do with her, maybe I can make it up to her.’

You really care about a stranger’s kid that much? This isn’t some act for your assignment?

‘No act, sir. I really want to make your daughter happy.’

There is another pause. I got her tickets to a play she loves. I had to buy them quickly since it is very popular. The will-call should be under her name too. Wanted her to feel extra special.

‘Thank you, sir. Now how do I make it up to you?’

Excuse me?

‘You got time with your daughter taken away from you. How do I make that up?’

Geez. I don’t know. You’d have to talk with her mother and see I can get time with her again. But you would have an easier time negotiating with one of the princesses than that.

Rei giggles. ‘Oh, I think I can handle that. My friend Trixie will be in Trottingham next week. I’ll try to arrange backstage passes to her show.’

Wait. You know...

‘Oh! I have the perfect thing for you next month. My shop is arranging a special show. I’ll definitely get you passes for that once the dates are finalized.’

Um, Miss Rei, what are you...?

‘Don’t worry, Mr Silver Spoon’s Dad, Auntie Rei-chan has everything under her wing.’

Rei hangs up her mobile and prances through the apartment to find Silver Spoon trying to scrub the bug stains from her glasses. Rei giggles.

‘If you think it is so funny, you clean them,’ the filly grumbles.

‘We have some glass cleaner that should do the job,’ Rei giggles.

The pegasus takes the glasses and goes to the kitchen. Silver Spoon cautiously follows since she cannot see.

‘Guess what Rei-chan just did for you?’

‘If it is cleaned my glasses, that would be enough. You’ve already done plenty.’

‘Better,’ Rei says as she plops the glasses on Silver Spoon’s nose. ‘I have arranged for Spoon-chan to be the happiest pony. I just have one last thing to do tomorrow, and it will be all set.’

‘Why do I get a bad feeling about that?’ Silver Spoon sighs as she fixes her glasses.

‘Don’t worry a bit. Oh, we will still have the meeting with my teacher to discuss the project early. We had to move it for your daddy time, so I don’t think she’ll want us changing it at the last minute.’

‘That’s fine.’

‘And Midnight will have to meet you after school again if what I have to do takes too long, but it shouldn’t,’ Rei adds as she trots into the washroom.

Silver Spoon sighs. ‘That’s fine...’

‘Don’t worry! Everything will work out, and you will be the happiest.’ Rei returns with a brush in her mouth. ‘Now! Let’s fix your braids. I always wanted to try braiding my mane.’

Silver Spoon squeaks in fear as the brush hits her mane.

Silver Spoon wanders Ponyville High School looking for the health teacher’s classroom. Neither Rei nor Midnight met her after school, and she is on her own. Another teacher gave her directions and she thinks she is nearing the right room. The filly peeks in to see Midnight and Miss Goodheart at her desk.

‘Well, Mr Midnight, I guess we’ll have to reschedule.’

Midnight snorts. ‘I think I gave all you needed to hear. They were mean and abusive to me the whole time. Rei was constantly fighting with me, and Silver Spoon didn’t want me around. Heck, I was kicked out of the place they got. I did my best. I really did.’ He shakes his head. ‘I tried telling you that she was a bad partner for me.’

‘I’ll take that into consid...’

‘That’s a lie!’ Silver Spoon shouts.

The two older ponies stop and look towards the door. Midnight starts sweating when he sees Silver Spoon.

‘Miss Silver Spoon, I presume,’ Miss Goodheart greets. ‘Nice of you to finally join us.’

‘I would have been here sooner, but he was supposed to meet me after school.’

‘Oh?’

‘And he only met me one other time. And he got into a fight with Mr Stormy then yelled at me and tried extorting money from me!’

‘Is that so?’

‘I-it is a lie,’ Midnight stammers. ‘She-she is just making things up.’

‘Shut up!’ Silver Spoon shouts. ‘You never came to the apartment once. You never helped Rei with anything. She is the one trying to help with my family problems and actually trying to get to know me. It was only the two of us the whole time!’

‘Do you know where she is?’ Miss Goodheart asks.

‘Well, uh, no, but she said she was going to be here. She was going to be doing something for me today...’

‘Probably got arrested,’ Midnight gumbles.

‘That’s not true!’ Silver Spoon screams. ‘Rei is a good pony! A lot better than you! My mom might not let me see my dad this weekend, but I rather not see my real dad than spend another minute with a fake one!’

‘Miss Spoon, please calm down,’ Miss Goodheart asks.

Silver Spoon glares angrily at the two older ponies then gallops out of the room.

‘Geez. What a little nutcase,’ Midnight groans.

Miss Goodheart clears her throat. ‘Mr Midnight, when did you stop thinking you were being graded?’ The colt slowly turns to face his fuming teacher. ‘If you want to have some chance of getting any points in my class, let alone staying in this school, you would be wise to grow some parenting instincts right now.’

Midnight panics and gallops out of the room. Miss Goodheart sighs and gets out a list of parental contact information. Before she can make her first call, there is a knock on her door. Rei leads her father into the room.

‘Sorry we’re late,’ James apologizes. ‘I had to help Rei out of a spot of trouble.’

‘I got arrested...’ Rei moans.

Miss Goodheart takes a deep breath. ‘I am betting there is a good story behind why.’

‘Well, um, you see, Silver Spoon’s daddy was supposed to visit this weekend,’ Rei begins. ‘That is why we asked for this meeting early. But yesterday, her mommy said her daddy couldn’t come and that made Silver Spoon really sad. I was able to talk with her dad, but I wanted to arrange with her mom another chance for Silver Spoon to see her dad. She really loves him.’ She takes a breath. ‘Anyway, I went to see Silver Spoon’s mom this morning, but she wouldn’t talk to me. I tried just telling her Silver Spoon’s side of things, but I kept getting yelled at. When I finally gave up, she had called the police on me. I went with them and explained my side of the story. They believed me and asked Silver Spoon’s mom to hear me out. It was tough, but I was able to convince her to let Silver Spoon see her dad again. After that, I was just waiting at the station for my daddy to pick me up. It was all standard procedure.’

Miss Goodheart stares in shock. ‘That is... quite the tale.’

‘We’re really sorry for the trouble we caused,’ James apologizes again.

Both father and daughter bow to the teacher.

‘Is Silver Spoon still here?’ Rei asks.

‘You just missed her. Midnight is out looking for her.’

Rei growls and gallops out of the room.

‘My feelings exactly,’ Miss Goodheart agrees.

‘Also, I am really sorry Rei got a perfect score on... that exam,’ James adds. ‘She knows pony anatomy a little too well.’

‘Right. My cousin tried to warn me about that. Her anatomical sketches were... Yeah...’

‘Um, I don’t know if you accept outside opinions, but Rei has been over to see me almost every night since this assignment began. She is extremely terrified that she is not doing a good job.’

Miss Goodheart leans back in her chair and thinks. A smile creeps across her lips. ‘Rei is going to make an excellent mother one day.’

‘She will be glad to hear that.’

‘Celestia help us if she ever becomes one.’

James laughs then chases after his daughter.
…

Rei trots into Daring’s apartment. She has to step over Midnight’s unconscious body. His face has an impression that somehow matches Flitter’s hoofprint. The other two pegasi discreetly move the unicorn while Rei looks for Silver Spoon. She finds the filly in the bedroom crying. Rei lays down and puts a wing over the upset filly.

‘Sorry I wasn’t there earlier,’ Rei apologizes. ‘I was out getting gifts for the lovely Silver Spoon.’

‘I don’t care. I just want you here... You’re the only one who is being nice and listening to me.’

‘Then you didn’t get my first gift yet.’

‘What?’

‘Did you talk with your mommy today?’

‘I...’

Silver Spoon gets out her mobile. She has a message waiting for her. The filly groans and plays it back. Her eyes slowly water up until she tackles Rei in a hug.

‘Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much!’

‘Anything for Spoon-chan.’ Rei breaks the hug and stands up. ‘Want to see the other gift?’

Silver Spoon smiles and nods. Rei sets a small box in front of the filly. She opens it and pulls out a pair of racing goggles. Silver Spoon holds the goggles and looks up at the young mare. Rei smirks and spreads her wings. The filly pulls on the goggles and jumps on the pegasus’ back. Rei gallops out of the apartment and takes to the skies.

A couple days later. The assignment is over, and the teenagers escort their younger partners home. All of them dread the possible results of the assignment. Image and Sunshine trot away together from Twist’s home, each with a bag of freshly made candy from the young filly.

‘This assignment wasn’t really that bad,’ Image comments. ‘Sure, I think I messed some stuff up, but we all had fun, right?’

‘It was quite fun,’ Sunshine agrees. ‘And, uh, I’m sorry.’

‘What for?’

‘I thought you were some weird geek, but I was wrong. you are not weird.’

‘I think that was a compliment.’

‘Also, I know you just broke up with Moon Glow but if you ever want to go out sometime, call me.’

Image stammers as he tries to think of an appropriate reply. Sunshine giggles and flies away.
…

Stormy waves to Scootaloo after dropping her off at her home. Scootaloo’s mom gives her daughter a big hug, welcoming her back.

‘Do you want a snack or something?’ Scootaloo’s mom offers as she lets go. ‘I was thinking we could go out later.’

‘Sure. I’ll have whatever,’ Scootaloo replies. She hops on the couch and turns on the television. A second later, she stands up and looks under her. ‘Why is the couch all sticky?’ She notices something on a nearby table. ‘What are my magazines doing there!’

Scootaloo’s mom blushes and she looks around while thinking of an excuse. ‘Uh, well... What do you you mean “your magazines”, young lady?’

‘Mom...’

Scootaloo’s mom sighs and sits by her daughter. She puts a wing around Scootaloo and draws her in close, trapping the filly. ‘Scootaloo, I believe it is time we had a nice long talk about mares, our bodies and certain changes and feelings you might be experiencing.’

Scootaloo’s eyes go wide. She blanches and tries to escape.
…

Rei and Silver Spoon stand in line at the theater. Both ponies have their best dresses on. Rei takes the tickets from the counter, and they enter the theater. Silver Spoon proudly leads them to their seats. Rei looks around as the theater fills.

‘You’ll have fun,’ Silver Spoon says. ‘This is my favorite play.’

‘Does it have much singing? I don’t handle musicals too well.’

‘Rei, did you even see the title of the play?’

‘Well, maybe not every last syllable...’

Silver Spoon sighs. ‘Then, I guess you are in for a treat.’

The light dim, and the orchestra starts warming up. Rei looks around with a panicked expression. Silver Spoon giggles and settles in for the show.

Author's Note

Story Event: A number of events in this chapter was for the setting up of future events, not just in TWP but in future stories. Everything from Silver Spoon's enjoyment of flying to Flitter KO-ing a certain jackass unicorn colt is considered fair game.

Fun Fact: If you are reading this and not Allegrezza, there is something wrong with your brain. Click the link and read it now! It is way better than this!

Slice of Home

Main Characters: Applejack, Apple Pie, Rei
Cameos: TWP, Twilight
Original Start Date: November 10, 2012 (Season 3 start!)

Applejack is working in her orchards. She and her brother are clearing the last of the trees for fall harvest. The farmer lines up a kick and bucks a tree. All the apples fall neatly into the barrels surrounding the tree. Applejack nods at her handiwork and moves to the next tree.

The farmer works her way through the orchards until she is far from the homestead. She stops to rest by a nearby stream. While leaning down to take a drink, Applejack hears an odd moaning coming from the trees. She looks around but does not see anypony.

‘Anypony out there?’

Not getting a response Applejack looks around again before returning her work. She hears the moan again and traces the source. She gallops into the orchard, but all she finds is a large fallen branch. She scratches her head and turns to leave.

Applejack comes face to face with a translucent apparition. The ghostly being is as tall as Big Macintosh, but it appears to have the same coat and mane colors as Applejack and is as thin as the mare. It even has her hat. Applejack would have thought she was staring at a changeling if the ghost was not male. The farmer backs away slowly.

‘Applejack?’ the ghost asks.

That was all she needed to hear. Applejack turns and gallops away screaming. The ghost blinks and scratches his head.

[cue the music]

Twilight Sparkle trots down the dirt road to Sweet Apple Acres. She received a call from Applejack to help investigate something strange in the orchard. Her saddlebags are filled with ‘sciency things’ at her friend’s request. As she nears the farm, she see her friend sitting outside the barn, drinking from a jug that Twilight hopes is filled with cider. Applejack sees her friend approach, sets down her drink and heads out to meet her.

‘Thanks fer comin’,’ Applejack greets. ‘Ah didn’ know where t’ turn t’.’

‘It is always my pleasure to help explain the unexplainable,’ Twilight says with a smile.

‘Well, this sure is unexplainable.’ Applejack looks behind Twilight a bit. ‘What are they doin’ here?’

Twilight sighs. Behind her, James and Rei smile and wave at the farmer.

‘He’s here because he is bored,’ Twilight answers. ‘As for Rei...’

‘Taking the day off. Neighponese holiday,’ the young mare answers.

‘Which one?’ Applejack asks.

‘Uh... Obon-Bon Festival?’

Lyra gallops from a nearby bush. ‘Oh crap! She is going to kill me!’

Everypony stares at panicking unicorn.

‘Y’all knew she was in there, right?’

‘Sure! Why not?’ Rei grins.

James high hooves his daughter.

Twilight groans and shakes her head. ‘Can you show us to what you need investigated?’

Applejack retraces her steps through the orchard as best she can. Twilight carefully examines everything she sees. James scans with his sonic. Rei practices flying upside-down.

‘Can you turn that down?’ Twilight asks. ‘I am trying to work here.’

‘I just want to help,’ James replies. ‘Hunting for clues could go much faster if we had another one of these.’

‘I almost robbed a bank when we were in Neighpon. I don’t want to take that chance again.’

Rei giggles. ‘So you were playing with your thingy, and you made a big mess in your hooves?’

Twilight turns and growls at the young mare.

‘Please. That was nothing,’ James scoffs. ‘I literally robbed a bank to pay for The Power Block. … Did I say that outloud?’

Twilight turns and growls at the young Time Lord.

‘Can y’all stop yakkin’?’ Applejack grumbles. ‘Ah’m tryin’ t’ remember where Ah saw it.’

‘We still don’t know what “it” is,’ Twilight replies.

‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe me. … Ah hardly believe me. … Ah saw... a ghost.’

Rei shoots into the nearest tree. ‘Bakemono!’

Twilight groans and turns around.

James stops his fillyfriend while still watching Applejack. ‘Did you experience a sudden drop in temperature? How about missing time? Was there any ectoplasmic residue?’

‘The only residue is the moonshine we saw her drinking!’ Twilight shouts. ‘This is silly and stupid.’

Rei shoots out of the tree and covers Twilight’s mouth. She looks around nervously. ‘Bakemono-sama! Twilight-bakasan didn’t mean what she said. You are quite respectable and intelligent.’

James adjusts his sonic. ‘Okay. Now that I know to look for PKE readings, we can really get this show on the road.’

‘Seriously.’ Twilight is aghast. ‘You actually believe this? You of all ponies?’

James stares back blankly.

‘You’re the one always telling me that Celestia doesn’t control the sun and science this and science that, and now you are the one who wants to go on a ghost hunt?’

‘I don’t think I understand the question,’ James replies.

Twilight screams, which is quickly muffled by Rei putting her hoof over the mare’s mouth again.

‘There are more things in heaven and Equestria than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Twilight.’

Applejack laughs and shakes her head. ‘So the sciency one believes mah tale while the magicy one doesn’t? Is that irony?’

‘Purest definition, my dear Applejack,’ James replies. ‘But have no fear. We’ll find this ghost of yours if my name isn’t Fetlock Holmes.’

‘But yer name ain’t...’

James snorts. ‘Listen. Just cause I don’t have a fez and a bow tie, doesn’t mean I can’t pretend to be Fetlock once and a while.’

‘All right, all right. Keep yer britches on.’

‘First time you ever told him that,’ Twilight grumbles.

Applejack butts her friend. ‘What did y’all say t’ me?’

‘Nothing.’ Twilight rolls her eyes. ‘I’m in too. Just to prove there is nothing weird going on.’

‘That’s what ya said ‘bout twitchy tail and look where ya are now.’

‘That was different. That was Pinkie Pie. It is impossible to explain Pinkie Pie.’

‘Time-displaced second regeneration of Discord. Done!’ James raises his forelegs in the air triumphantly.

The mares glare at the Time Lord. They groan in unison.

‘I’m in too.’ Rei states. Somehow, she is now dressed in a white kimono with a red hakama. ‘We will appease this wondrous and gracious spirit and send it back to Yomi where it belongs.’

‘Great.’ James stands by Rei. ‘Rei and I will take this side of the orchard. You two take the other side.’

‘Shouldn’ Ah come with ya t’ make sure ya know where y’all are goin’?’

‘Applejack. Are you really proposing being alone with me in the middle of nowhere right in front of Twilight?’

Applejack looks ashamed. ‘Y’all don’ have t’ word it like that. Ah was jus’ concerned, is all.’

‘We’ll be fine. Just remember to give some sort of signal if you see anything.’

‘And when we don’t see anything, we’ll all meet up at the barn and talk about how much a waste of time this was,’ Twilight huffs.

‘That’s the spirit.’ James grins.

‘OH! I get it! Funny.’ Rei starts laughing.

The two older mares groan and head off to search the orchard.

‘At least somepony appreciates my jokes!’ James shouts.

Rei looks around. ‘Are they gone? Can I stop laughing? Allowance, please.’

James rolls his eyes and trots away. ‘You own a shop.’

‘You say that like that is a way to make money.’

James and his daughter trot from tree to tree. While he scans for ghosts, she exorcises the trees. The young mare puts her wand in her kimono and follows her father towards the next group of trees.

‘Isn’t it great that we get to do something together that doesn’t involve a parent-teacher conference?’ Rei asks.

‘Yes. I was beginning to think that was the only time you wanted to spend with me these days.’

Rei frowns. ‘Sorry. Just with school and work and Inkie, I’m pretty busy.’

‘School’s almost out for the year. How about The Power Block and Neighponese Imports team up for a big party?’

‘Actually, I have one coming up with The Chaos Theater. We were just about to tell everypony in the district.’

‘You and Tim? What is it?’

Rei grins. ‘Let’s just say that on her way between Canterlot and Las Pegasus, there will be a Full Moon sighting in Ponyville.’

James stops in his tracks. ‘You booked Full Moon to do a surprise show in the middle of her tour?’

Rei’s grin grows and she nods her head excitedly.

‘Del is going to freak. … Lucas is going to freak more.’

‘I know. Isn’t it great?’

James pats Rei on her head. ‘Good girl, Rei. A lot of ponies will be excited and happy. Your Auntie Pinkie Pie would be proud.’

Rei smiles and ‘squees’. The moment is ruined by a loud scream. James nods, and Rei takes off through the orchard. The pegasus’ flight is cut short by an orange earth pony to the gut. Applejack and Rei get tangled together as the earth pony tries to flee. In the direction from where Applejack was running, Twilight lays on the ground. Rei is able to stand.

‘What is it? What happened?’

Applejack looks around, terrified. ‘Th-the g-ghost. We saw it.’

‘Where?’

Applejack does not answer. She just turns white and stares past Rei. The pegasus’ wings stick up. She slowly turns to see the translucent pony approach her.

‘Rei?’

Rei screams and flies straight into a tree. All the apples fall neatly into the baskets laid out earlier. James gallops onto the scene. He sees his daughter unconscious, his friend in a state of shock, a very confused ghost and Twilight laying on the ground.

‘Twilight!’ James shouts as he gallops forward. ‘Pardon me,’ he tells the ghost as he passes through. He slides to a stop and lifts Twilight up. ‘Are you okay?’

Twilight holds up a hoof as if to make a point. ‘And that, ladies and gentleponies, is why they call me Great and Powerful.’

‘I think you hit your head a little too hard, The Great and Powerful Sparklerific,’ James laughs.

‘Who said I hit it?’ Twilight moans, rubbing her head. ‘Somepony kicked me as soon as she thought she saw a...’ She gasps.

The ghost slowly approaches the two ponies. ‘Dad?’

James quickly pulls out his sonic and scans. ‘Huh. It is just a telepathic projection.’ He looks at the two panicking mares behind the projection. ‘Don’t worry! It is only a projection!’

James and Twilight stand and start examining the projection. It shifts nervously under the increased attention.

Twilight notes, ‘He looks just like...’

‘Apple?’ Rei says as she comes closer.

‘Yes?’ the projection and Applejack say in unison.

Rei gasps. ‘Apple! It is you!’

The pegasus dives to hug her older brother, but ends up tackling her father.

‘If y’all know him, can ya tell me what is goin’ on?’

Rei gets up and goes to the projection. ‘This is by big brother. Apple Pie.’

Everypony gasps as Rei smiles at her brother. Apple smiles back then looks around him. James and Twilight watch him with a lot of curiosity. Applejack stares, not knowing what to make of everything that is happening. The displaced visitor just smiles and waves. He turns back to face James.

‘So, uh, dad, what is going on here?’ Apple asks.

‘We have no idea,’ James replies.

‘Why do you keep calling him that?’ Twilight asks.

Apple jumps in shock. ‘You must be Twilight Sparkle! Wow! We’ve heard a lot about you. Alba is going to be so jealous.’ He laughs. ‘Technically, I should be calling you “dad” too. Right, Rei?’

Rei giggles. Twilight looks around confused. Applejack covers a laugh.

‘I’ll handle Twilight,’ James says. ‘You two... three, just hang out for a bit.’

James takes Twilight aside to explain Rei’s origins. Apple looks around at the orchard around him. The two mares watch the visitor.

‘Looks about fall harvest season,’ Apple notes. ‘I’m... We’re just finishing up spring. Not nearly this many trees though...’

‘I knew home was further along than here, but I always thought I was crossed on about the same day.’

‘You probably did,’ Apple replies. ‘We just had memorial day.’

Rei frowns. ‘That was months ago here... And it is really different.’

‘Also, you have only been gone for less than a year. We really miss you.’

Rei smiles. ‘I bet dad and Helios tried to convince mom and Alba to allow them to rip a hole in the universe to save me.’

‘They did,’ Apple laughs. ‘But we have bigger worries. Luna just called me to Canterlot. I’m... I’m an Element of Harmony now.’

Rei gasps and tries to hug her brother, falling on her face. ‘That is amazing! Are you Honesty too?’

Apple looks up at Applejack for a moment then back down at Rei. ‘Actually, I think I am Loyalty. Got it just a couple days ago when I saved Apple Bloom from some timberwolves.’ He looks back at Applejack and adjusts his hat. ‘She, uh, gave me this artefact too.’

Applejack smiles. ‘Ah know what happened t’ me on yer world. Glad t’ hear somepony is taken care o’ mah sister fer me.’

‘I was a little nervous about accepting the hat... Everypony says I look just like you... I was sort of scared of living up to the legend.’

Applejack laughs. ‘Shoot. Ah ain’t no legend. Sure, Ah might have a few windows in the palace, but Ah’m as normal as ya are.’ She laughs again. ‘Well, probably not ya, since yer Jimmy’s, Twi’s and Luna’s kid.’

‘Actually, Pinkie is my mom, but still... Genetic jackpot, right?’

Applejack laughs and shakes her head. ‘Only way that can be better if Ah were in the mix somewhere.’

‘Oh geez. Not only would I have to live up to you as a legendary hero, but as my mother too. That is hard enough with just my parents as they are.’

The three ponies laugh. James and Twilight return to the group. Twilight looks a little confused.

‘Okay...’ Twilight begins. ‘There is some weird alien invasion. I am killed. James is killed. He becomes Discord. Then he becomes me. Discord is sent to our mutual past. Then you are our first son with Pinkie Pie, and Rei is our daugher with Luna?’

Apple and Rei nod.

‘That is about the size of it,’ Apple replies.

Twilight groans and trots away. ‘And you call me crazy for believing that Celestia and Luna are divine!’

James laughs and follows Twilight. ‘Hey, hold up a sec. I’ll go with you.’ He stops and turns to Apple. ‘Hey, uh, when I scanned you earlier, I detected that you were here under some sort of psychic link. Probably due to the increased magic from getting your Element, your latent powers from your parents and some sort of trauma. The bridge is closing, and you’ll be back home soon.’ He smiles at Rei. ‘Make the most of it.’

James catches up with Twilight. Applejack joins them, and the adults start leaving.

‘Applejack, wait!’ Apple calls. The mare turns back. ‘I know you were being modest, but it is good to know the legends are true.’

Applejack smiles. ‘Thanks. That means a lot t’ me. Ah’m glad yer there t’ keep mah legacy goin’.’

Applejack and Apple bow to each other before the adults leave the two siblings alone. Rei looks up and smiles at her brother.

Apple looks down and tries running a hoof through Rei’s mane. ‘Let’s catch up while we still have a chance. Hey! Right before I got my summons, Helios blew up a school! What a dope!’

A couple hours later. James and Twilight are eating some fresh-baked fritters with Applejack as they wait for Rei. They hear somepony approaching. Rei trots out of the orchard. She looks like she has been crying. She trots to the fritters and picks one up.

‘These are good,’ the young mare compliments.

‘Guaranteed t’ lift yer spirits,’ Applejack replies.

‘Thanks.’ Rei forces back a tear. ‘I got a glimpse of home for the first time in forever. I haven’t been this happy since you became my daddy.’

James gets up and hugs his daughter as she drops her fritter and starts sobbing. The other ponies get up and hug Rei too. More hooffalls are heard as somepony approaches.

‘Uh, hey,’ Lyra greets. ‘So, somepony tricked me with a fake holiday that I thought was going to get me in trouble with my wife. Did I miss anything worth writing about?’

The four ponies glare at the unicorn.

‘So, no?’

Rei roars and chases Lyra back down the road while firing lightning bolts at her.

Apple Pie moans and rubs his head. He is laying in the middle of the orchard with a large branch across his back. There are hooffalls as Apple Bloom approaches.

‘What in the hey are ya doin’ out here?’ the mare scolds. ‘Y’all should be restin’ up fer yer trip tomorrow.’

‘Right now, that sounds like the best idea.’

Apple Bloom helps Apple Pie free and too his hooves. She gives her coltfriend a kiss as they trot back to the homestead.

‘I had the weirdest dream,’ Apple Pie says.

‘What about?’

‘I think I saw my sister, but in her home and everything.’

‘So ya were a pegasus? Or was it in the castle?’

‘Actually... It was Rei.’

Apple Bloom stops in shock. Apple Pie stops and smiles at his fillyfriend.

‘Also, I think I saw your sister.’

‘Mah...’

Apple Pie starts trotting again. ‘Come on. I’ll tell you all about it.’ He laughs. ‘If anything, it will be something to make Helios jealous.’

Author's Note

Fun Fact: I don't know is anyone else felt this way about the opening scene but when I was writing it, the scene felt like the opening of Ghostbusters with the librarian and the Grey Ghost. If you don't feel the same, just enjoy the video.

Full Moon LIVE!

Main Characters: Chrysalis/Full Moon, Rei, Lucas, Mimi, Del, Shining Armor
Cameos: TWP, Featherweight, Twilight
Original Start Date: November 17, 2012

Shining Armor and a large squadron of soldiers surround an airship. The prince scowls as a gangplank is placed between the ship and the dock. The ship’s door slides open, and a tall white pegasus with a long purple mane steps out. She smiles, with a long fang showing, at the angry prince.

‘It has been a while, hasn’t it, my prince?’ Full Moon asks.

‘Not long enough,’ Shining fumes.

Full Moon’s smile grows. ‘I hear you have been placed in charge of my security while I am in your land. Pretty ironic since the last time I stepped hoof in Canterlot you ejected me with violent force.’

‘The assignment is from Princess Celestia. I was chosen since I will keep your identity secret. And that means a tight schedule and staying with you constantly.’

‘Almost as if we were married.’

Shining growls and turns away. Full Moon laughs and follows. Full Moon’s entourage enlists some of the soldiers in unloading her equipment. Shining stops near a number of waiting carriages. He watches the heavy equipment being moved around.

‘Are they all..?’

Full Moon smiles at her crew. ‘Yes. They are some of my most loyal and dear subjects. It was tough choosing the few that would accompany me.’

‘Bad enough having just you here. I hope you can keep them in line.’

‘There will be no trouble. As I said, they are some of my most loyal subjects. They are well assimilated to pony culture. You have no need to worry.’

‘With you around, I always worry.’

‘You can trust me.’ Full Moon looks at one of the waiting guards. ‘Isn’t that correct?’

Shining turns towards the guard. He looks back and forth from his captain to the pop idol before saluting.

‘Yes, my queen,’ the guard replies.

Shining’s jaw drops. Full Moon smirks. The guard fidgets nervously.

The prince regains his composure and stands over the guard. ‘Feel free to drop the disguise any time.’

The guard looks down. A green flame surrounds him as he reverts back to changeling form. The skinny changeling is weighted down under the bulky pegasus armor. The other guards back off a step and look to their commander for instruction.

‘That armor is a little cumbersome. Report to the royal armorer and have them craft you a suit that better fits and adapts to your ability to change form.’

The changeling looks up, confused. ‘Sir?’

‘You are a brave and loyal soldier. You had my back when we were fighting those rogue Diamond Dog bandits a couple weeks ago. Why would I abandon somepony I trust?’

‘Y-yes, sir.’

‘Now, get new armor. I don’t want you reporting for duty until you are properly equipped.’

The changeling salutes and runs off to the armory. Shining turns back to Full Moon, a smug grin on his face.

‘As you can see, I do not dislike your kind as much as you may think.’

‘Yet you dislike me. I feel as though we lost the bond we once shared.’

‘There was never a bond between us, and there never will be.’

Full Moon sighs, ‘I can see this jealousy is really getting to you.’

‘What jealousy? I am married to a princess.’

‘And you could have married a queen. A queen that makes more in a month than you do in a year.’

‘I love Cadance very much. Money has nothing to...’

‘Two hundred thousand bits for this little trip to your country,’ Full Moon interrupts. ‘Not including the accommodations, royal bodyguards and all the other perks of being the biggest pop star on the planet. You missed out.’

Shining glares at the pony he is charged with protecting.

Full Moon smirks and climbs into a carriage. ‘Mimi! Let’s go over my itinerary once more. I cannot wait until we arrive in Ponyville.’

A pale yellow earth pony breaks from loading the equipment and trots to the carriage.

‘Ponyville? I don’t remember hearing anything about a Ponyville stop,’ Shining snorts.

‘Well, the real Full Moon is a tough negotiator. I almost had to say “yes” the instant she asked me.’

‘Full Moon?’

Full Moon laughs, baring her fangs again. ‘Your lover’s child.’ She giggles a bit. ‘Well, the one lover I let you keep who I approve of.’

‘My... Oh, no.’ Shining turns white at the realization.

James trots downstairs into The Power Block. Lucas relaxes at the counter. A stack of mail, freshly delivered by the mail mare currently browsing Wii U games, rests by the lazing unicorn. James looks at the two other ponies and clears his throat.

‘Rei is giving out tickets to a secret Full Moon concert coming in a few weeks,’ the stallion announces. ‘Just gotta...’

There is a loud crash as Lucas jumps through the front window towards Neighponese Imports.

‘Just gotta wait until she is out of school...’ James facehooves. ‘He is so lucky we have full healthcare.’

‘Full healthcare? Need a replacement assistant now that Lucas is dead?’ Derpy asks.

The two ponies look out of the shop. A bloody Lucas drags himself to the door of the other shop. Flitter looks out at the bloody unicorn then across the street at the neighbor. James shrugs. Flitter rolls her eyes and goes back to work. Lucas reaches for the door.

‘Replacing the window is coming out of your paycheque!’ James shouts before getting to work.

Full Moon trots outs of the shower and falls on her bed. She drops her illusion, allowing Queen Chrysalis to stretch her true form. She flaps her insectoid wings, spraying water everywhere. Shining Armor enters the room and groans.

‘Full Moon, we need to talk about security for the Ponyville trip.’

Chrysalis groans. ‘You may call me by my real name.’

‘I prefer thinking of you as somepony else, lest my true feelings come forth.’

‘Then if you need me to help relax you...’ Chrysalis changes to look like Princess Cadance. ‘Maybe this form will do the job.’

‘Enough fooling around! I want to talk seriously.’

Chrysalis groans and reverts to her normal form. ‘Very well.’ She glares at the prince. ‘You could take one moment to relax.’ She leans toward the door. ‘Mimi! Can you come in here?’

The pale yellow earth pony trots into the room and bows. ‘Yes, my queen?’

‘Our handsome prince here wants to go over security for our upcoming Ponyville show. Please help me convince him that his concerns are foolish.’

‘You are reducing the number of soldiers to just myself and two others and only bringing two of your personal guards,’ Shining states.

‘Are you concerned about my security or about my secret?’

‘Our queen has been able to handle both issues before with great success, with less assistance than we have given her,’ Mimi adds.

‘I couldn’t care less about your secret,’ the prince snorts. ‘If the truth came out, it would mean a quicker end to this silly tour.’

‘And yet, you would still be honor bound to protect me. Delicious.’

‘Listen,’ Shining growls, ‘if the mobs of fans are anything to go by, you will need more security than you are bringing. You need protection.’

‘That is not what you said the night before our wedding,’ Chrysalis teases.

Shining snarls and stomps the floor.

Chrysalis sighs and sits up. ‘From what I have heard, Ponyville is small and relatively safe. Between our guards, we should have no trouble. The real Full Moon has assured me of the greatest security she can manage in addition to having your sister and her friends on hoof. Or do you doubt the powers of the Elements of Harmony?’

‘You would use my sister as a conscripted guard?’

‘No, but I would doubt she would let something happen to a famous celebrity.’

‘That is true...’

‘And if what Mimi told me is true, I might have a diehard fan willing to protect us at any cost just waiting to be called upon.’

‘What was that, my queen?’

Chrysalis smiles. ‘I do believe you described a romantic encounter with a silver unicorn who was quite fond of me.’ Mimi squeaks in reply. ‘He just so happens to work for the one looking after Del for me.’

Mimi blushes. ‘He lives there!’

‘Don’t pretend you haven’t felt it,’ the queen laughs. ‘I have felt the bond of love growing from you every step closer to Ponyville we have taken. I know what your intent is and I approve.’

Mimi smiles and giggles.

‘Though it is odd that the bond of love has not grown from you, my sweet prince.’

‘Probably because there is no love to be had between us,’ Shining snarls.

‘I meant towards your Ponyville lover.’

Shining shudders. ‘There is even less love there.’

Chrysalis cackles and lays back on her bed. 'I'll allow you two more soldiers. If your petty concerns are alleviated, I believe I am due a post-show feast.’ She grins up at Shining. ‘Shall I change back to your princess for a special meal?’

Shining growls and storms from the room. Chrysalis cackles again as Mimi brings in the meal.

A pair of royal guards patrol the embarkation ramp at Ponyville station. Another pair of guards clear a path to a waiting carriage. Rei and a black pegasus fly above as they watch patrol the sky. A massive crowd mobs the ramp. Either unseen or ignored, Featherweight climbs the roof of the train station to get a better vantage point.

‘Sheesh. All of this for a celebrity?’ Twilight grumbles. ‘I haven’t gotten this much attention since my coronation.’

‘We did get a cheery send-off after saving the Crystal Empire,’ Rarity notes. ‘But it does seem as though saving the world has gotten a lot less glamorous than it once was.’

‘Shoot,’ Applejack snorts. ‘Only y’all can make helpin’ others sound bad.’

‘Isn’t it enough fun just knowing you did the right thing?’ Pinkie adds.

‘The Doctor saves the world all the time and almost nopony ever thanks him,’ James notes.

‘See!’ Applejack and Pinkie chide.

The three earth ponies stick their tongues out at their friends. The two mages roll their eyes.

‘Yeah, I think we deserve another parade or two,’ Rainbow Dash comments. ‘Right, Fluttershy?’

‘Oh, uh.’ The pegasus tries to hide behind her mane. ‘I wouldn’t mind being out of the spotlight more.’

The other pegasus groans. A train whistle sounds. Rei lands and helps with crowd control, notably threatening Lucas to stand back. The train comes to a stop. Several members of the waiting crowd hold up signs. The train door opens. Mimi steps out, followed by two of Full Moon’s guards. Lucas gasps in shock when he sees Mimi. Finally, Full Moon steps onto the platform, followed by Shining Armor. The crowd screams at the sight of their idol. Fluttershy shouts so loud she nearly passes out, as does Rainbow Dash from the volume of the scream. A pair of boxers lands by Full Moon. She laughs and looks around. James shakes his head and points at Shining. The unicorn stallion groans and magically sweeps the article under the platform. He smiles as his sister hits her coltfriend in the gut. Full Moon trots to her waiting carriage, stopping to sign a few autographs along the way. Her guards stay with her the whole way. She waves to her fans before boarding the carriage and riding away. The crowd slowly start to disperse. James waves Rei over.

‘Can we get some medical attention?’ the stallion asks.

‘It was just a light tap,’ Twilight groans.

‘Not me. I think Lucas had a heart attack.’

Rei giggles. ‘One electroshock, coming up.’

The pegasus charges a light current on a hoof and taps her friend. The unicorn jumps as he comes to his senses. He looks around excitedly.

‘Did you see her! That was the pony I slept with,’ The excited stallion exclaims.

‘Like Full Moon would ever go for you,’ Rei moans.

‘You got my Shining! You’re fired for real this time!’ James shouts, earning another kick to the stomach from Twilight.

‘No, the assistant. I saved her on the train, and we spent the night together.’

‘Are you sure it was her? Could be a common disguise,’ James comments as he trots away.

‘Disguise? What?’ Lucas shakes off the thought. ‘Rei, you’re working with Full Moon. Can you see if the mare was her?’

‘Sure. Anything for my Lucas-kun.’

Rei flies off to her next assignment. Lucas takes a moment to collect himself before teleporting away. Featherweight bounces off a passing mare as he ‘climbs’ down from his perch.

Full Moon trots into her suite followed by Shining, Mimi and her guards. The royal guards stay outside of the room, with two standing on the balcony. Full Moon nods. Her personal guards start sweeping the room and closing the shades. The pegasus drops her spell, reverting to her changeling self. Shining snorts at the change in form.

‘So what needs to be done...’ Chrysalis wonders. ‘For starters, I want to hold a meeting with Del and Mr and Mrs Wanderer.’

‘Mrs Wanderer?’ Shining asks.

‘What? He is mating with your sister, is he not?’

The unicorn shudders. ‘He is, but that does not mean they are married.’

Chrysalis smirks. ‘You ponies and your different levels of bonding. We at least know the act means we are close, does it not?’

‘We did not mate,’ Shining snarls.

‘Which one of us was under a mind control spell?’ Chrysalis cackles. ‘Anyway, other tasks... Find out whether the real Full Moon’s shop or the music shop is bigger. I know I will be needed for sound checks, but I want to spend at least one day signing autographs. Also, find something for me to give the real Full Moon. She deserves something special.’

‘I hear there is a great spa in town,’ Mimi offers.

‘Ooo! A private spa date with the Full Moons and our burly and handsome bodyguard. I like the sound of that idea.’

‘Mr Wanderer will have your head if you try anything with his daughter,’ Shining groans.

‘I can always say it was your idea, and he would go after yours... not that he isn’t already.’

Shining groans even louder. Chrysalis smiles and trots around the room. She plants herself on a couch, beside an overflowing fruit basket containing mostly apples. She picks up an apple and takes a bite.

‘We must also find a place to eat,’ the queen notes. ‘I heard there was a Diamond Dog eatery near here. We should see if we can get some meat. Covertly, of course.’

‘Yes, my queen,’ one of the guards replies, as he leaves.

‘You would steal your food?’ Shining balks.

‘Of course not,’ Chrysalis snorts. ‘We know the taboo your type has towards “more exotic” foods. We would buy openly if we could take their form. Since we cannot, we leave more than enough compensation for our “purchases”. And it is not like they would serve anything that you would find too shocking. Just the standard snakes and fish and fowl and such. I haven’t eaten something that could talk back to me since before we met.’

‘And I bet it begged for its life the whole time.’

‘Hmm. On the subject of begging and eating, maybe I should do like your princess and make the same offer she did to my grandmother.’ Chrysalis changes form to appear as Celestia. She levitates a banana from the basket and offers it to Shining. ‘Do you like mmmm-bananas?’

Shining shakes his head. ‘That is just a silly rumor. An ancient rumor at that.’

‘My grandmother was but a... well, you would call her a filly when she and her hive were banished to the moon. So weak was she that her own regent tried usurping power for herself.’

‘Preposterous.’

‘Not really. The hard part was living in isolation for so long, or so I was told.’ Chrysalis reverts to normal and sighs. ‘Though she had no way of doing it for herself, Nightmare Moon kindly returned my mother to the remnants of a hive. She spent the rest of her life trying to build the hive and live peacefully in our own little corner of the globe. That is, until...’

‘Until what?’ Shining asks, sitting across from the changeling.

‘He was much like you. Quite the strapping captain of the guard. A pegasus. The bravest of the brave. Just the kind to put a spear through the back of my mother’s neck while she was tending her brood. I lost many potential brothers and sisters that day.’

‘I am sorry to hear that.’

‘Don’t be. Well, not too much. Some comfort is appreciated. I saw a statue of him as I posed as your fiancee. Respectable likeness. I wanted to add a part after “Disappeared in parts unknown” that read “Tasted delicious”. Before you judge the hideousness of my actions all those countless years ago, keep in mind what I might have been going through.’

‘You just witnessed your family killed. I cannot begin to imagine what that feels like, but I can understand your justification and your hatred towards my kind.’

‘As luck would have it, it was only a matter of centuries before fate presented me with a captain of the guard ripe for the plucking.’ She grins. ‘Among other similar-sounding words.’

‘We did not do anything!’

‘Keep telling yourself that.’

Chrysalis turns to Mimi and holds her hooves up a distance from each other. The earth pony blushes and giggles.

‘You don’t know that! How could you!’

Chrysalis cackles and stands. ‘I think I have tortured our dear prince here enough. Let us go elsewhere so I can torture him there instead.’

Shining groans and hold his head. ‘This is by far my worst assignment ever.’

Chrysalis goes to the door and changes into her Full Moon disguise. Her entourage follows. Full Moon stops Mimi.

‘I believe you have some assignments. Once they are complete, feel free to take some personal time.’

Mimi smiles and bows. Full Moon nods to her assistant before heading out. Shining groans and forms up the guards around their charge.

Lucas lazes on his bed and uses his magic to control his computer. He cannot shake the thought of seeing one of his favorite pop idols and her lovely assistant. The unicorn sighs and starts an episode of his current anime. There is a gentle knock on the door. Lucas groans and stops the show.

‘Coming,’ he grumbles.

Lucas opens the door and stops in his tracks. Mimi smiles up at him. The unicorn is lost in the earth pony’s pink eyes.

‘Nice to finally meet you, hero-kun,’ Mimi greets.

Lucas just mumbles and nods his head in response.

‘May I come in?’

Lucas nods and backs up a few steps to allow Mimi to enter. The mare smiles as she takes in the apartment.

‘You have a lovely place.’

‘Th-thank you.’

‘Oh! Where are my manners? My name is Mimi,’ Mimi introduces. ‘I am sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk like this during our last meeting.’

‘M-me t-too. M-my name is Lucas.’

‘Lucas... What a nice name.’ Mimi sighs and looks around again. She quickly turns and kisses Lucas on the lips. ‘I know it might seem as though I feel this way because of the excitement of our first encounter,’ she says, backing down, ‘but I truly feel a connection to you. I believe I am in love. I... can sort of sense it.’

‘You are quite special as well. Can you sense a connection because you are a crystal pony or something like that?’

‘Actually, it is because...’

Mimi frowns and looks away. She looks up at Lucas’ curious and smiling face. She closes her eyes and drops her disguise. In a bright green flash, Mimi changes from a pale yellow earth pony with a sky blue mane to a changeling with a pale yellow chitin and sky blue hair. The changeling slowly opens her bright pink eyes to see Lucas staring at her in shock. Mimi’s frown intensifies, and she shrinks away.

‘I am sorry,’ Mimi apologizes. ‘I understand if you hate me now. I’ll leave.’

Before Mimi can turn, Lucas catches her leg. ‘You’re beautiful. I thought you were pretty before, but now...’

‘You... don’t mind that I am a changeling.’

‘That doesn’t cross my mind.’

‘You really mean it?’

Lucas pulls Mimi in and kisses her as hard as he can, cutting his lips a bit as Mimi’s fangs slide against them. They back away panting and staring into each other’s eyes. Mimi wipes the couple drops of blood that come from Lucas’ lips. She frowns again, knowing she hurt him. Lucas kisses Mimi’s horn, getting her to make a small jump.

‘I hate to hide your beauty,’ Lucas says, ‘but let’s go out. My boss pays me very well. We can go to the fanciest place in town.’

Mimi smiles. ‘I believe my boss is there right now. How about we stay in and get to know each other better? I would love to know more about my hero.’

‘Anything for the beautiful Mimi.’

Lucas leads Mimi to his bed. They get comfortable together as the unicorn levitates his mobile to order dinner. The changeling coos softly as she cuddles in close.

The next morning, James and Del trot through Ponyville. Both yawn.

‘Where are you taking Del?’

‘Full Moon wanted to meet us at Twilight’s.’

‘Full Moon was still in bed, where I should be,’ the filly grumbles.

‘The other Full Moon.’

Del’s eyes go wide, and she picks up her pace. They reach the library and head in. Before they can even announce their arrival, Spike hands James a cup of coffee.

‘Here,’ the dragon offers. ‘Figured you’d need it.’

‘Thanks, Spike. Twilight is lucky to have you around.’

‘She and’ -- Spike sighs lovingly -- ‘Full M♥♥n are waiting downstairs.’

‘Thanks again.’

James trots towards the basement door. Del stops and licks Spike’s face.

‘Silly, dragon,’ Del laughs. ‘You know that emeralds give you gas.’

‘How did you..?’

Del giggles and follows James downstairs. The door magically locks behind them as soon as they enter. Twilight and Full Moon are waiting in the middle of the laboratory. One of the changeling guards, disguised as an earth pony, is examining the scientific equipment.

James gives Twilight a kiss and waves to Full Moon. ‘So, what is going on here?’

Chrysalis drops her disguise. ‘Del has been most telling with her reports back to me about the treatment you have been giving her. I am very pleased to hear she is doing well.’

‘We try to care for her as much as we can,’ James replies.

‘I am also pleased that Miss Sparkle is taking the chance to learn about our kind. Maybe you will see us as less of the monsters we are.’

‘I would like to learn more,’ Twilight adds. ‘I know Del is a data outlier from the norm.’

‘Which is just why I wished to meet like this,’ Chrysalis notes. ‘I wanted you to witness a very special ritual. One that is performed very rarely. I have only done it a couple times in my considerable lifetime.’

‘I am honored,’ James says, bowing.

Twilight scribbles notes on a nearby pad. ‘Wait. How old did you you say you are?’

Chrysalis smirks. ‘Old enough to know that the Great Canterlot Food Riot was started by a pie striking your princess in the face.’ She turns to James. ‘Somepony has good aim but should learn to duck better.’

Twilight glares at her coltfriend. ‘You started the food riot three hundred years ago.’

‘To be fair...’ James looks around for ways to escape. ‘It was a custard, not a pie. I slipped on banana peel (big surprise who leaves those around) which allowed her to get a lucky shot in. And she was the one that ended up pelting the prime minister’s house with eggs. I was only the middlepony in that case.’

Twilight grumbles and writes a reminder to reprimand her coltfriend and mentor later. Chrysalis laughs at the ponies.

‘If you are ready, I would like to begin,’ the changeling says.

‘Go ahead.’ Twilight nods.

‘She’ll be okay, right?’ James asks.

‘Del will be perfectly fine,’ Chrysalis assures. ‘I only ask that you do not interfere. The ritual is a little dangerous. I would hate for you to get hurt. Del, are you ready?’

The filly jumps when she hears her name. She comes over from following the guard and stands before Chrysalis. The larger changeling nods. Del drops her disguise. She looks up at her queen.

‘This may hurt a bit, but I have your best interests at heart,’ Chrysalis promises. ‘Do not be afraid.’

Del nervously looks around. She sees Twilight writing everything down while James worries beside her. She smiles at her caretaker.

‘Del’s b... My body. My body is ready.’

Chrysalis licks her lips. ‘That is good to hear.’

In one swift motion, the changeling queen lunges down and bites Del in the neck.

‘Del!’ James shouts and tries to jump forward.

Twilight catches the stallion with her magic. ‘No. We cannot interfere!’

‘She is hurting her!’

‘Please stay back, Miste...’ Del rasps before going limp.

Chrysalis releases. She tilts her head back and drinks the remaining blood on her fangs. Del collapses to the ground. The queen lays down beside the fallen changeling and lifts her up. She directs Del to a spot on her neck. Del leans in as best as she can and bites. Chrysalis winces as her skin is pierced. Del drinks as much as she can before she gasps for air. Chrysalis coats a hoof with blood and holds it out. Del licks up as much as she can before collapsing again. Chrysalis smiles and holds the small changeling in her forelegs.

‘Very good. We are family now,’ the queen says as she nuzzles Del. She looks up. ‘I think it would be wise to get your nurse,’ she tells James. ‘We both could use a little tending to.’

‘You don’t have to tell me twice.’

James gallops out of the basement as fast as he can. Twilight continues scribbling notes.

‘This is amazing!’ the pony princess exclaims. ‘Was that some sort of coming-of-age ritual or a rite of passage of some sort?’

Chrysalis laughs. ‘Far from it. The closest description would be... a royal adoption.’

‘So, are you saying Del is like your daughter now?’

The queen looks down and licks Del’s wound a little. ‘Not exactly. Though she is without a formal family unit, what I have done is more like accepting her into my home. She would be considered a sister and potential queen. Princess Del.’

‘Fascinating. Is this how all changeling queens are made?’

‘I was born to my mother, the former queen, thank you very much,’ Chrysalis snorts. ‘I am holding off on creating a brood of my own. I am waiting for a world where my kind can be free to do as we please. I originally thought it would be when your kind was subjugated as our food source. Now... My reason for holding back is the same, but my methods have changed.’

Del lets out a loud whine. Chrysalis casts a spell on the small changeling’s neck. Twilight writes even faster as she analyzes the spell.

‘What did you just do?’ the unicorn gapes.

‘Just a simple anesthetic spell. The same one I used on your brother.’

‘What?!’

‘Are you really so surprised? I really did treat his migraines while he was under my spell. Though my wording will come off as cruel, any good farmer can tell you that you have to maintain the fields for good crops. We do not like our sources of love to run dry or our illusions to wear off, so we do care for our victims. If you hadn’t shown up, your brother probably could have released his spell on his own instead of having it shattered. The pain of magical feedback is unpleasant.’

‘I know that too well,’ Twilight sighs. ‘Thank you for telling me so much about yourself and your kind. I am sorry we haven’t had a chance to learn from each other in our past encounters.’

‘As am I, but a girl has to feed, you know.’

‘Please don’t say it like that.’

Chrysalis laughs. ‘While you have the chance, what else would you wish to know? By the way, ask your brother about what we discussed last night. He might have some interesting stories to tell.’

‘Thank you. I will.’ Twilight starts flipping through her notes. ‘Now, where do I begin?’

‘Ohayo, Lucas-kun!’

Lucas and Mimi trot into Neighponese Imports. They go right to Rei as she happily waves to her guests. Daring trots out from the back rooms.

‘How can I help you today?’ Rei asks. ‘More yuri? More joso? More hen-”

Lucas shoves his hoof in his friend’s mouth. He nervously looks at Mimi. ‘I don’t watch any of that. I swear.’

Mimi giggles. ‘Actually, I am wondering if you had an answer for our inquiry last night.’

Rei looks at Daring then back to Mimi. ‘Right now, we are leaning towards using the music store. Although, Kaeko did make this shop very modular. If Flitter can make it, we will rearrange the shelves to give you plenty of space.’

‘If labor is an issue, I can arrange it,’ Mimi offers.

‘Anything for Rei and Mimi,’ Lucas adds.

‘I meant Full Moon’s guards.’

Rei giggles. ‘If it is her head guard, daddy will come too.’

Everypony laughs at the joke.

‘Lucas...’ Rei stares at her friend’s neck. ‘How did you hurt yourself?’

Lucas touches a small bandage. ‘Oh, uh, it is just a love bite.’

Mimi blushes and giggles.

‘Thought so,’ Daring comments. She pulls down her shirt a bit, revealing two puncture marks. ‘Chryssy snuck out last night too.’

‘Just remember, only one of you is allowed to copy me,’ Rei growls. ‘If I find out you have been looking like me...’

‘That’s enough.’ Lucas nuzzles Mimi. ‘I’m sorry about that.’

‘It is fine.’ Mimi sighs, ‘We know we are walking a fine line when we take a form. Most of us in pony lands try to avoid directly copying an actual pony.’

‘Wait, does that mean there are changelings in non-pony countries?’ Lucas asks.

‘Well, yeah, but it takes a lot of ski...’

‘Can you be a griffin!’ Rei grins at Mimi excitedly.

‘I can try... but I need a referen...’

Daring drops a copy of Daring Do and the Griffin’s Gobblet on the counter. Mimi groans. She steps away from the front windows so she will not be noticed. In a flash of green fire, Mimi changes from an earth pony to a yellow griffin with blue feathers. She sits back as her head spins. Rei falls over laughing at the oddly-colored griffin in her shop.

‘That is great!’ the pegasus chortles. ‘You look really cool.’

‘You really do look pretty good,’ Daring compliments, giving Mimi a Neighponese drink.

‘Thanks,’ the tired griffin pants. ‘Can I go back to normal now?’

‘Sure,’ Rei replies. ‘Gotta keep Lucas’ wings down somehow.’

Mimi looks at Lucas and squeaks. He has the same expression as when she revealed her true form. She quickly changes back to her earth pony form. The pegasi giggle at the couple.

Del moans and opens her eyes. The first thing she sees is James smiling at her.

‘My neck hurts,’ the changeling wimpers.

James laughs. ‘I would think so.’

‘What happened to me?’

‘What is the last thing you remember?’

‘I was in Sparkly’s lab. My queen was there. And then...’ Del winces and touches her bandaged neck.

‘Twilight or your queen can better explain it to you, but the short version is that you have a big sister now, and she is very proud of you.’

Del smiles. ‘That makes Del happy.’

‘Nurse Redheart says your wounds aren’t too bad. If you are feeling better later, I would like to take you out to celebrate. I already asked the Cakes to make you something special for dessert.’

‘I would like that. Del would also like...’

James holds up a juice box. Del squeals and starts drinking. James laughs and kisses Del on the forehead before leaving.

‘That’s my Del.’

‘Thank you, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Get some rest. If you need anything, just make some noise.’

‘I will.’ Del takes a long sip. ‘I... love you, Mr Wanderer.’

James smiles. ‘I love you too, Del.’

The stallion leaves the changeling to rest and enjoy her drink. Del leans back in her bed and looks around her room. She notices a new shelf on her wall with a box sitting on it. Del sets down her juice box and flies over to investigate. The shelf is labeled ‘Chrysalis’. After careful examination of the box, Del opens it to find a small black crown topped with light blue orbs. She giggles and puts it on before returning to bed.

Rei sits and waits in the lobby of the day spa. She is ready for her afternoon with Chrysalis. Lotus and Aloe, however, have no idea why the young mare is waiting so patiently. It is Rei’s first visit to their spa, and they are worried about her wild behaviour. The one consolation is that their guest is wearing her own yukata.

‘Miss, may we help you?’ Aloe asks for the third time.

‘I’m just waiting. Thank you,’ Rei replies.

Lotus takes her sister aside. ‘She is Fluttershy’s kid or some such nonsense. Maybe she is just waiting for her mother and Rarity to arrive.’

‘I hope so. She is starting to creep me out.’

The bell above the door rings. The spa sisters sigh in relief that they will finally have a real customer. They turn back to the lobby, and their hopes soar when they see Shining Armor looking around the shop.

The stallion turns back outside. ‘You two wait here. You two, check the shop for any hidden entrances we may have missed.’ The stallion looks around the spa and waves to Rei. ‘It is clear.’

Full Moon’s guards step past the unicorn. The royal guards wait outside. Shining steps aside to allow Full Moon to enter. Lotus nearly faints at the arrival of their new guest.

‘Hi, Full Moon!’ Rei greets.

‘Miss Full Moon,’ Full Moon replies, bowing.

The two pegasi giggle at the greeting while Shining goes to the counter. One of the guards returns from the spa area.

‘All clear,’ the guard reports.

‘Very good,’ Full Moon replies. She joins Shining. ‘We would like to use your facility. Privately.’

‘We are a place of business, madame,’ Lotus replies. ‘We cannot close down just because a pop star asks us to.’

Chrysalis drops her disguise. ‘How about for a queen?’

The spa ponies stare at the changeling queen in terror.

Shining groans. ‘For trying to keep your secret, you sure broadcast it a lot.’

Aloe nervously comes around the counter. She trots up to Chrysalis. The taller queen looks down at the pony. Aloe reaches out and pokes Chrysalis’ chitin.

‘So... interesting. Unique texture.’

‘A little higher if you wish to reach my stress centers,’ the changeling suggests.

Aloe turns and nods to her sister. Lotus goes to the stairs to the spa.

‘This way, mesdames,’ the spa ponies say in unison.
…

Rei and Chrysalis sigh contentedly as the spa ponies massage their clients. Shining Armor grumbles to himself as he patrols the room.

‘Lighten up,’ Chrysalis encourages. ‘You need as much relaxation as we do.’

‘I am fine,’ Shining snorts.

‘You do not sound fine, monsieur,’ Aloe comments.

Shining turns and growls at the masseuse.

Lotus backs away from Rei. ‘All done.’

‘I feel great,’ Rei comments, lazily flapping her wings. ‘Your turn!’

‘What!’ Lotus screams as she is flipped onto the table.

‘Just showing you what a real massage is like.’

Lotus screams as Rei presses hard on her sides. Chrysalis laughs then moans in pleasure as Aloe starts working on her hindquarters.

‘I am taking you back to Neighpon with me,’ the queen sighs. ‘Their massages are too rough on my delicate body.’

Lotus screams again as Rei climbs onto the table and steps on her back. Chrysalis laughs again as Aloe gives her sister a concerned look. Shining sighs and continues his patrol. He stops near the stairs and looks around. The unicorn turns back to the spa. A small shimmer from the changing room catches his eye. Shining stomps over to the changing room and throws open the door. A tiny pegasus colt with a camera almost as big as he is smiles up at the angry royal guard.

Shining magically lifts Featherweight to look at him eye to eye. ‘What do you think you are doing?’

‘I-I was just wanting to get a scoop on Full Moon. I didn’t mean to...’

‘Mean to what? Violate imperial security and obtain classified knowledge? You’ll be lucky to get out of prison by the time you are my age.’

‘Set him down,’ Chrysalis groans. ‘He is just a kid.’

‘He broke in while you are out of your disguise.’

‘Yes, I was revealed by choice. The security matter is your fault. Now, set him down so I may speak with him.’

Shining growls and sets the small pegasus down. Featherweight sheepishly grins up at the unicorn before trotting over to face the changeling. She smiles, knowing the young pegasus is focused on the large fangs in front of him.

‘So, you wanted to get a scoop on Full Moon,’ Chrysalis says, her grin growing slightly. ‘Too bad you found the queen of the changelings in a moment of repose. What do you have to say to that?’

Featherweight looks down and kicks at the ground.

‘Don’t be afraid, little one. We won’t hurt you.’

‘I-I just wanted a couple pictures and maybe a quote for the school paper,’ Featherweight wimpers. ‘I didn’t mean...’

Lotus screams as Rei helps her from the table. The earth pony jerks as she tries trotting away.

‘Now...’ Chrysalis muses, ‘how should we handle your little transgression?’

‘I have a few ideas,’ Shining grumbles as he steps up behind Featherweight.

‘Oh, behave,’ the queen snaps. She levitates Featherweight’s camera and starts flipping through the photos. ‘You are quite talented. Would you like a place on my staff?’

‘WHAT!’ both males shout, one excitedly, one furiously.

‘Well, I assume this young one wishes to be some sort of journalist. I would like him to chronicle my visit to this wonderful town, complete with an interview, leaving out some important details, of course.’

‘I-I’ll do my best!’ Featherweight replies.

‘Is this wise? Trusting this foal?’ Shining asks.

‘He seems trustworthy to me. Not to mention...’ Chrysalis stretches her mouth wide a few times before stopping and smiling. ‘I think he will fit if he reveals my secrets to anypony.’

Featherweight immediately stops his celebration. Shining smirks a little before returning an upset glare to Chrysalis.

‘Fine. If that is your wish, then so be it.’ Shining towers over the skinny Featherweight. ‘You better do a good job. I’ll be watching you.’

Featherweight shakes where he stands and nods. Chrysalis laughs. She looks around the room. Rei and Aloe are helping Lotus into a mineral bath to help soothe her muscles after her impromptu shiatsu massage. The changeling laughs again and gets ready for her next treatment.

The next morning, Full Moon is in Neighponese Imports for her signing. The store is filled with ponies wanting to meet the idol. Full Moon takes a picture with a young unicorn. She gives the young stallion a kiss on the cheek before he trots away. Shining rolls his eyes as Full Moon watches her fan and licks her lips. The pegasus’ smile quickly turns to a scowl when shes sees her next fan. A tall white unicorn with a flowing pink mane and wearing a jeweled necklace trots up, levitating a CD.

‘OH MY M-CELESTIA!’ Amy exclaims. ‘I can’t believe it is you! I love you so much!’ [If you thought I was not going to keep my eye on you, you have another thing coming.]

‘Thank you!’ Full Moon replies. ‘I am happy to meet such a devoted fan.’ [I have done nothing wrong. Your persistent pestering is quite shrill.]

‘Your singing is so the best. You are way better than anything we regularly get in Equestria.’ [If you think your little charade is fooling anypony, you are sadly mistaken.]

‘You have some talented artists. Don’t sell your homeland short.’ [I beat you and your precious Elements before. It was only a fluke your boy toy and his pesky sister beat me those times.]

‘Thank you! You are the greatest.’ [Come at me, bro.]

‘I was honored to meet you.’ [Go buck yourself with your own horn.]

Amy and Full Moon share a smile that strains the definition of ‘friendly’. A midnight blue pegasus wearing thick glasses steps up.

Selene sets a CD in front of Full Moon and groans, ‘I am sorry about my sister.’ [I am sorry about my sister. She is an idiot.]

Del shows the Cutie Mark Crusaders the scar on her neck. The friends gawk at the puncture wounds while the young pegasus tries showing off her new crown, magically disguised as well. James laughs as he turns back to a meeting with Lucas and Mimi.

‘So, boss, what do you say?’ Lucas asks. ‘Can she have a job?’

‘I have no problem taking on a new employee, but there will be a few conditions that are subject to change,’ the employer replies.

‘I will do what I can,’ Mimi says, bowing. ‘As long as I can be with Lucas, I’ll be happy.’

‘Good. Good. Because I have a few before you can even start.’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘For one, I don’t think it would be good to abandon your current employer in the middle of her trek across a land that, quite frankly, would like to see her hanged if she were revealed. She will still need your help.’

‘Of course.’

‘Not to mention, you will need her permission to leave her employ.’

‘I will ask her right away.’

Del trots over and pulls on James’ tail. ‘Can I go play with my friends?’ the filly asks.

‘Go ahead, Del. Have fun.’

‘Thank you! I promise to be back to help out later.’

Del hops up to set her crown on the counter before galloping off with her friends.

James turns back to Mimi. ‘You will also help out with Del, just in case I have any changeling questions.’

‘Of course.’ Mimi nods. ‘She does seem very pony for a changeling.’

James laughs. ‘Well, that is why your queen sent her, or do you want Princess Del to fail in her mission?’

‘Right. Princess Del,’ Mimi groans. ‘That just sounds so weird.’

‘Really? Coming from you? Your name is one letter from the most obvious changeling pun and once Lucas realizes the Super Paper Mare-io reference...’

Lucas thinks for a few moments then screams.

James trots away to work. ‘Yep. Even your fillyfriend is a gaming reference. Once you’re done with your aneurysm, I need your help unpacking our last restock before Hearths Warming.’

Taking a break from his duties, Shining Armor is visiting his sister for dinner. They and Spike are having a great time catching up with their recent adventures. Shining rubs his temple as he tries to make sense of Twilight’s tale.

‘So let me get this straight...’ the male unicorn huffs, ‘Discord is really him from Rei’s universe, and her real father is the fused body and mind of the two of you?’

‘Yeah,’ Twilight sighs. ‘Makes you wonder how many other ghosts are really more of her siblings that hit their heads.’

The siblings laugh at the joke.

‘You have a lot of fun adventures,’ Shining laments. ‘I get stuck guarding an enemy of the state while she is encouraged to tour the country she is determined to eat whole.’

‘She really isn’t that bad, is she?’

‘Well, since I don’t know what her real feeding looks like, it is really more putting up with her constant teasing and goading. I cannot tell you how often she acts like we are the ones really married and not me and Cadance.’

‘Well, technically, we didn’t show up until after Celestia performed the ceremony...’

Shining groans. ‘Twilly...’

‘See,’ Twilight snorts. ‘That is probably why she does it. She knows you will overreact. If she is anything like James, you just have to go along with it until another distraction comes along.’

‘At least he is behaving himself for once. That’s cause for celebration right there.’

‘Hey,’ Spike speaks up, ‘speaking of celebrating, when are we having your bachelor party?’

The siblings stare at the dragon incredulously. Spike snorts and goes back to his dinner.

‘Anyway, you have the performance tomorrow then you are off to the next city. This will all be over by Hearths Warming.’

‘None too soon...’ Shining grumbles. He pokes at his meal a bit before looking up with a smile. ‘Speaking of which, somepony hasn’t told me what they want for Hearths Warming.’

Twilight opens her mouth to speak.

‘Same thing I want every year,’ Spike interrupts, ‘gems. Or a date with’ -- sigh -- ‘Rarity.’

Twilight laughs. ‘As for me, anything you get is fine. You don’t have to make it special.’

‘Oh, yeah? What is it you really want?’

‘Well, I haven’t really...’ Twilight pokes at her dinner.

Shining takes a deep breath. ‘He is stupid if he doesn’t come around.’

‘Thanks. What about you? What do you want?’

‘You don’t have to get me anything.’

‘Shining...’

The younger sister glares at her older brother. Shining looks around for an escape.

‘Just say a book,’ Spike says, ‘because that is what she will get you anyway.’

‘Spi~~ke!’

Shining laughs as his sister scolds their adopted brother.

Del explores the backstage area of Full Moon’s show. The filly is enthralled by everypony galloping back and forth as the show plays. A flash goes off. Del turns around to see Featherweight flitting about taking pictures. The young colt turns to take another picture but runs into his classmate.

‘You’re Scootacoltfriend, aren’t you?’ Del asks.

Featherweight fumbles with the camera hanging around his neck. ‘I wouldn’t word it like that...’

‘What are you doing back here? Did your parents get you a backstage pass?’

‘Not exactly. Full Moon asked me to document the show for her.’

‘That’s fun. My sister is really nice. Do a good job, or she’ll bite your face off.’

‘Your si...’ Featherweight gasps. ‘Del are you a...’ He mimes fangs with his hooves.

Del smiles, revealing her fangs. ‘Tell anypony, and I’ll bite your face off too.’

Featherweight pales and nods in agreement. Del goes behind her friend and starts pushing him.

‘Come on! Let me show you around.’
…

At the concert, Full Moon takes a break. She trots around the stage for a she drink of water. Fluttershy and Selene scream for the idol. Amy glares at the stage while Twilight has her ire fixed on her coltfriend who is watching Full Moon’s offstage security. Rarity and Stormy critique the costumes. Applejack tries to keep the Cutie Mark Crusaders in their seats. Full Moon takes one last drink before returning.

‘You’re a great audience,’ Full Moon says. ‘Next, I have a special treat for you.’ She turns to the back. ‘Come on out.’

Rei trots onto stage. The audience, save one dark blue unicorn in the back, cheers for her

‘Konbanwa! Genki desu?’ Rei says to the audience.

‘Glad to have somepony else who can sing in Neighponese with me,’ Full Moon greets.

‘Minna-san suki da!’ Rei blows a kiss. She giggles. ‘Sorry. If you’re a fan, I hope you understood.’

‘We love you too, Rei!’ an audience member shouts.

Rei blushes and waves.

Full Moon laughs. ‘I hope you brushed up on the new album,’ the idol warns. ‘I brought you out for something special.’

‘Duet of the Full Moons?’ Rei asks.

Full Moon smiles as the music starts playing.

Back at Full Moon’s suite, Shining Armor checks with the changeling guards as they finish their final patrol of the night. The knight goes to the door while the changelings go to their rooms. Outside, the two royal guards wait with a guest.

‘Just make sure they get to brunch. My treat,’ James tells Shining.

‘Will, do.’ Shining salutes out of instinct. ‘But, we won’t have too long before our train.’

‘Don’t worry. And I’ll make sure they have all of the equipment sent right away.’

‘Thank you, sir.’

The two ponies salute before Shining returns to the suite. He makes one last pass before returning to his room. Featherweight is passed out on a couch. In Full Moon’s room, the idol is curled in bed with Rei and Del. Shining yawns and turns to leave.

‘Not going to give your wife a goodnight kiss?’ Full Moon asks.

Shining grumbles to himself as he trots away. The pegasus smiles and yawns while snuggling down.

Full Moon lays across a bench as the train from Ponyville starts leaving. Even with a massive brunch hosted by James and the other Nerd District shop owners, the idol is still exhausted from her show. On the other hoof, Shining Armor, Mimi and the guards are full of energy.

‘Keep it down,’ Full Moon groans. ‘I gave away too much love last night.’

Shining laughs and gets out his mobile. ‘I am so telling Mr Wanderer on you.’

‘Not like that, pervert.’

Mimi trots over and puts a hoof on her employer’s forehead, transferring some energy between them. ‘Just be happy Lucas is willing to share. You will have a busy day once we reach Baltimare. After the welcoming party, you have a meeting at the music college and a benefit with the city’s elites. And tomorrow...’

Full Moon groans again.

Shining laughs. ‘Look at it this way: at least all of your screaming fans don’t pretend you are married to them or something crazy like that.’

A seat cushion hits the stallion the face.

‘I want a divorce,’ Full Moon huffs.

Shining laughs and settles in for the train ride.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Chrysalis returns (briefly) to Equestria. Lucas reunites with Mimi. Chrysalis adopts Del as a princess.

Story Event: Notice that after the ritual, Del's speech patterns take a turn for the pronoun.

Fun fact: Parts of Chrysalis' story about her grandmother and mother were adapted from Woonastuck and Princess Chrysalis Tumblrs.

A TWP Hearths Warming

Main Characters: TWP, Cadence, Shining, Twilight, Night Light, Twilight Velvet, Rei, Spike, Del
Cameos: Applejack, Apple Bloom, Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, Trixie, Stormy, Pinkie, Inkie, Blinkie, Fluttershy, Surprise, Celestia, Luna, Octavia, Vinyl, Daring Do, Lyra, Bon Bon, Lucas, Mimi, Chrysalis
Original Start Date: December 4, 2012

Shining Armor lets out a loud yawn as he climbs into bed. Cadence laughs as her husband collapses beside her. She cuddles beside him and nuzzles his cheek.

Shining smiles and gives his wife a kiss. ‘Before you ask, I am probably going to say “yes”.’

‘What makes you think I want something?’

‘Dear, this is how you always get when you want to ask me something.’

Cadence laughs again. ‘Okay.’ She takes a breath. ‘Since you were away guarding Full Moon the past few weeks, I hope you don’t mind that I put some Hearths Warming plans in motion.’

‘Anything you planned is fine with me.’

‘Good. Because I booked us a mountain villa for a week and your family already is looking forward to joining us.’

Shining is shocked. ‘Villa? Family?’

‘I know it is a bit much, but I want a big Hearths Warming this year. It will be fun.’

‘I know it will,’ the unicorn sighs. ‘It will be great getting together with the family again.’

‘Plus, I’ll finally get to know Mr Wanderer.’

Shining stares at his wife in terror. ‘Mr... Wanderer...’

‘Oh! When I invited Twilight and Spike, she mentioned that Mr Wanderer and his family don’t have anywhere to go this year so I invited them too. Rei is such a sweet filly, and I really want to get to know her father.’

‘We’re going to be tra-, I mean, sharing a secluded villa with him?’

‘Not that secluded. We are only borrowing Fancypants’ getaway. There will still be neighbors only a few kilometers away.’

‘Suddenly, following Full Moon back to Neighpon doesn’t sound that bad...’

Cadence glares intensely at her husband. ‘Shining, I want a big family holiday and if it happens that somepony not yet in our family is included and gets some enjoyment from our celebration, then it is even better. You will not ruin it with your petty worries.’

Shining hangs his head and sighs. ‘Yes, dear.’

‘Good.’ Cadence nods then rolls over, away from Shining. ‘Besides, you married me, not her. That first wedding was just a fluke.’

Shining laughs and gives his wife a hug. ‘That is what I kept saying!’ He sighs. ‘Don’t worry. We’ll have a great Hearths Warming, just like you want. Nothing will go wrong.’

Cadence smiles and cuddles against her husband as she goes to sleep.

A carriage pulls up to a large mountain chateau. The earth ponies pulling the carriage remove their reins and start unloading the travellers’ luggage. The workers stop when magical auras surround the luggage. The carriage doors open, and two unicorns step out. A light grey mare smiles at the workers as a blue stallion marches towards the chateau.

‘We can take care of our own bags,’ Twilight Velvet says. ‘Thank you for you help.’

Night Light turns back and nods. ‘Yes, the journey was quite pleasant.’

The stallion levitates several bits to the workers. The earth ponies bow, hitch up their reins and gallop away with their carriage in tow. Twilight Velvet trots up to her husband, and they go to the front doors together. Already waiting for them, Shining Armor and Princess Cadence greet their guests. Twilight Velvet immediately hugs her son.

‘Great to see both of you,’ Cadence greets.

‘So happy to see you, mom, dad,’ Shining adds.

‘How have you been, Shining?’ Night Light asks.

‘Doing well, dad. How about you?’

‘Glad the semester is over,’ the professor sighs. He bows to Cadence ‘Thank you for inviting us on this holiday.’

‘Do you know when your sister is getting here?’ Twilight Velvet asks.

‘She called from the train station right after you called from your home,’ Cadence replies. ‘She and Mr Wanderer should be here shortly.’

Night Light shudders. ‘He is coming too? Is it too late to call the carriage back?’

‘Mr Wanderer is a nice pony,’ Twilight Velvet scolds.

Night Light and Shining groan in unison. Another carriage is heard down the way.

‘You’re almost there!’ Rei shouts as she flies around the carriage.

The pegasus does a loop around the courtyard before landing beside the carriage. She waits until her father, Twilight Sparkle, Del and Spike exit before trotting up the steps to the waiting group. Twilight gallops up beside the young mare.

‘Sunshine! Sunshine! Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!’ Twilight, Cadence and Rei sing before hugging each other.

‘When did you learn that?’ Twilight asks the pegasus beside her.

‘Ai-hime played with me when Luna-sama was busy,’ Rei says with a smile.

‘So great to see you again,’ Cadence greets. ‘Rei, have you gotten taller?’

The young mare blushes. ‘Maybe a little.’

‘She let her mane grow out more on top,’ The Interfering Parent reports as he trots up. ‘Good to see you all again.’ He bows to Night Light. ‘Twilight’s wonderful father.’ He bows to Twilight Velvet. ‘Twilight’s caring mother.’ He bows to Cadence. ‘Twilight’s amazing foalsitter.’ He kisses Twilight. ‘Twilight.’ He bows to Shining. ‘Twilight’s handsome brother.’

Shining groans. Night Light shakes his head. Twilight Velvet and Cadence giggle. Rei and Spike hold back laughs. Twilight hits her coltfriend in the gut. Del stares up at the new ponies before her. Cadence notices the filly staring at her.

‘And you must be Del, right?’ the princess greets.

Del bows slightly. ‘I am Del. Are all of you Sparkly Twilight’s family?’

‘Yes, they are, Del,’ Twilight explains. She goes around the group and introduces them. ‘This is my father, Night Light.’

Del bows. ‘Mr Night.’

‘My mother, Twilight Velvet.’

‘Velvety Twilight.’

‘My brother Shining Armor.’

‘Mr Handsome.’

Shining groans. James gives Del a candy bar.

‘And my sister-in-law, Princess Cadence.’

Del stares up at Cadence again for several seconds.

‘Nice to meet you, Del.’ Cadence extends a hoof in friendship.

Del sighs and shakes the hoof before scratching her ear and adjusting her tiara.

‘Sorry,’ James apologizes. ‘She is usually a lot friendlier when meeting new ponies.’

‘It is okay.’ Cadence smiles at her guest. ‘Come on in. We’ll get you settled in your rooms, then we can catch up.’

Cadence and Shining turn and show their guests inside. The unicorns levitate their bags and follow. Most of the guests gape as they take in the estate. James calmly takes photos on his mobile.

‘This place is amazing,’ Twilight Velvet comments.

‘Thank you,’ Cadence replies. ‘We are renting it from Fancy Pants for the holiday while he and Fleur are vacationing in the tropics.’

‘Very impressive,’ Twilight Velvet muses again.

‘Does it have an onsen?’ Rei asks.

‘It has a bit of a hot tub area, Cadence explains. It is semi-open to the elements, so you can still enjoy it when it gets colder.’

James nudges his fillyfriend. ‘Hot tub, Twi.’

Twilight blushes and looks away. Shining shudders as bad memories return to him. The royal couple leads their guests upstairs to a hallway with bedrooms.

Shining stops by a room. ‘Cadence and I are in here. Mom and dad, you can have the room next to us.’

‘Smashing,’ Night Light comments as he goes to inspect the room.

Cadence goes to another room. ‘Twilight, you and Mr Wanderer can share this room.’

Shining trots over and clears his throat. ‘Um, Cadence, is that really a good idea?’

‘Shining, it is okay. They are both adults. And they’re in love. We shouldn’t stand in their way.’

‘Besides,’ Spike interrupts, ‘Twilight stays over at James’ place all the time.’

‘Spi~ke!’ Twilight complains.

Night Light pops out of his room. ‘What did he just say?’

A light grey aura surrounds the stallion and drags him back into the room. Shining looks at his sister. Twilight blushes a little and smiles politely. He looks at James, who winks at the other stallion.

‘Just behave yourself,’ Shining tells Twilight.

‘Don’t worry,’ Twilight assures.

‘Rei, you can have this room to yourself,’ Cadence says from another room.

‘Yay!’ The young mare cheers as she gallops into the room and leaps onto the bed.

Cadence covers her mouth and leans towards James. ‘I figure she should get her own room in case she needs privacy.’

‘We’ve been working on that,’ James replies. ‘She does it a lot less now.’

Shining groans. ‘If you are talking about what I think you are talking about, I am not looking forward to the dry cleaning bill from Fancy Pants.’

‘Just think of how much we will owe for our room,’ Cadence jokes.

‘Cadence!’ Shining and Twilight yell.

Night Light pops out of his room. ‘What did she say?’

‘Nothing, dad,’ Shining groans. ‘We were just showing Spike and Del to their rooms.’ He nods and leads the dragon and filly away.

Cadence notices something amiss. ‘Wait. Didn’t any of you bring bags?’

‘Are you kidding? With baggage check fees?’ James scoffs. ‘We just left everything in my closet.’

The princess raises an eyebrow. ‘You left them in a closet?’

James gets out his mobile. ‘It should be here any moment now.’

Spike comes out of his room. ‘Mr Wanderer, Del isn’t sharing the bed with me.’

There is a fillyish scream, and Shining scrambles out of the room, too. ‘New idea, Spike: don’t try lifting her with magic unless you want to hear an unholy hiss.’

‘Del! Your bags are here!’ James calls. The filly bolts from her room but is stopped by the stallion. ‘You have to share the room and your candy.’

‘But...’

‘Good ponies share, Del. And only good ponies get presents on Hearths Warming.’

Del frowns. ‘Fine.’

James lets the filly free to dash into his room. He looks at the other adults. ‘And you wonder why I said “just get her candy” for a Hearths Warming gift.’

Cadence looks at the group gathering in the hall. ‘If you are all settled, Shining and I would like to show you around the manor.’

James trots to his room. ‘Have fun with that.’

Twilight levitates her coltfriend back out. ‘James, you’re coming with us.’

Rei giggles from her room as she watches the adults.

‘Rei, you’re coming too,’ James punishes.

The young mare groans and follows as Cadence leads everypony away.

After the tour, Shining flips through a book in the chateau’s study. The stallion moans contently as somepony starts massaging his shoulders.

‘My sister is going to kill you if she catches you doing that.’

‘Can’t say you don’t like it,’ James laughs as he backs away.

The unicorn growls, ‘If I could have one thing for Hearths Warming, it would be for you to never harass me ever again.’

The other stallion laughs again and goes where Shining can see him. ‘But where would the fun in that be?’

‘What do you want, Mr Wanderer?’

‘I was wondering if I could have a private moment with you some time during this trip.’ He holds a hoof up to stop Shining before he can object. ‘It will be the perfectly innocent. No harassment or anything. We can even stand on opposite ends of the room. I just have something important to talk to you about without Twilight finding out.’

Shining stares at the stallion before him. James smiles sincerely.

‘I think we can find some time to talk,’ the unicorn huffs.

‘Excellent!’ James cheers. ‘Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to see somepony’s sister about visiting a hot tub.’

Shining shudders as the other stallion trots away.

Del trots out of a washroom and encounters Cadence waiting outside. The filly looks away and trots around the princess.

‘Your turn,’ Del mumbles.

‘Actually, I was looking for you,’ Cadence replies. ‘I was wanting to do a tree trimming later. You should join us.’

‘Is that something normal ponies do?’

‘Of course! It will be very fun. I promise.’

‘Okay. I will be there.’

Del trots away. Cadence follows.

‘Are you upset with me?’ Cadence asks. ‘You don’t seem happy to see me.’

Del stops and looks at the ground. ‘I like meeting new ponies, but I don’t know what to think of you. I am very confused.’

‘You can tell me. I don’t bite.’ Cadence gives a wide smile.

The filly stares up at the princess. ‘I don’t think my sister cares for you, and I want to agree with her. I am sorry. I will try to be more friendly.’

Del picks up her pace and leaves the princess standing in the hall, confused.

Everypony has gathered in a living room to trim the holiday tree Cadence picked out. The mages use their magic to decorate while Rei flies around placing ornaments. James sits off to one side beside boxes containing strings of lights, going over each of them individually with his sonic. Night Light trots over and frowns at the working earth pony.

‘What are you doing?’ the unicorn asks.

James looks over his glasses for a moment before returning to work. ‘These bulbs are old incandescents, and we don’t know how many are non-functioning. I am modifying them to be more energy-efficient LEDs guaranteed to last until the sun goes nova.’

‘Well, then hurry up. You’re taking forever.’

‘This is a delicate process, sir. Each bulb has to be modified individually.’

Night Light groans and holds his head. Beside the tree, Shining levitates an ornament to a limb. Twilight immediately removes it. Spike groans as he holds the bauble box for the siblings.

‘Twilly, what the heck?’

‘You can’t place that there. It is not optimally placed. See!’

Twilight shoves a page of equations in her brother’s face. Shining groans and levitates the ornament again.

Twilight grabs the bauble in her magic. ‘I said “no”! Your princess commands it!’

‘Well, I’m your big brother, and I say “yes”!’

Shining wraps the ornament with his magic, and the siblings start tugging it back and forth. Twilight Velvet sighs at her children and goes back to decorating. She turns to a small box next to her and notices it is empty. The unicorn looks to see Del eating a candy cane.

‘Del, did you eat all of the candy canes?’

The filly shakes her head. ‘I only have the one you gave me.’

‘Then where are...?’

Rei jumps from behind the tree with two candy canes hanging from her mouth. ‘RAWR! I’m a candy cane changeling here to suck your holiday cheer!’

The pegasus growls at Twilight and Shining, who ignore her and continue fighting over the ornament. She growls at her dad, who just sonics one of the candy canes to change its color before continuing to work. She growls at Twilight Velvet and Del. The unicorn giggles. Del scowls.

‘Just like Shining when he was your age,’ Twilight Velvet observes.

Rei smiles then growls at Del again. The filly narrows her eyes then leaps at the older pegasus. She hisses and tries to bite Rei. Rei uses her slightly bigger size to her advantage to hold her attacker at bay. She charges her hoof slightly and zaps Del. The two pegasi jump back from each other and growl. Before they can fight again, James rushes between them.

‘Stop it, you two!’ the parent shouts. ‘Del, why did you attack Rei? She was just playing around.’

Del looks up at James then at Rei. She hisses again and gallops away.

‘Oh, geez,’ James groans. ‘I’ll go talk with her.’

The stallion gallops after the filly.

‘Are you okay, Rei?’ Twilight Velvet asks.

The young mare glares at everypony and gallops away. Cadence sighs and trots after Rei.

‘We bonded when she was in Canterlot. I’ll have a word with her,’ the princess sighs.

Cadence sighs again as she looks for Rei. Twilight Velvet huffs and turns back to the tree. Twilight and Shining are arguing over the ornament again. Spike sits and watches the siblings. Night Light picks up the plug to the string of lights and plugs it in. The lights spark, and he immediately covers them in an ice spell. The unicorn looks around and tries slinking away from his mishap. Twilight Velvet groans and holds her head.
…

Cadence sits with Rei in the young mare’s room. There is a knock. The princess uses her magic to open the door. James escorts Del inside. The filly stares at the ground the whole time. The stallion pushes the filly forward.

‘I am sorry for attacking you,’ Del apologizes. ‘You were only trying to have fun. I may have overreacted a bit.’

‘Sorry for zapping you,’ Rei amends. ‘I didn’t know my joke would upset you.’

‘Just don’t do it again, please.’

Rei nods. Del snorts and trots out of the room. James gives his daughter a hug and follows the younger pegasus out of the room. Cadence hugs Rei too and gets up.

‘Come on. Let’s get dinner started,’ the princess invites.

Rei hops up and trots out with Cadence.

Everypony has settled for the night. Cadence is still up securing the manor. She trots down the hallway with the bedrooms. The princess closes the door on Del and Spike. The drooling filly lays across the dragon. As she passes the next room, Cadence laughs when she hears Rei moaning ‘Inkie...’ in her sleep. The princess stops when she hears noise coming from James and Twilight’s room.

‘Okay, James,’ Twilight giggles. ‘I hid mistletoe somewhere in this room. If you find it, you get a prize.’

James groans. ‘Not now, Twilight. I don’t want to alert your parents or brother.’

‘Oh, pfft. They know by now. Now, I’ll give you three clu...’

‘I just don’t want them hating me more than they do already.’

‘They don’t ha... Well, it is not like they actively try to keep us apart.’

‘True, but I want to make a good impression on them this trip.’

Twilight is heard kissing James. ‘I understand. Doesn’t mean we can’t still cuddle.’

‘Sounds like a plan. … Can you take the mistletoe from your tail?’

Cadence giggles as she leaves the door and goes to her room. She climbs into bed with her husband.

‘You know, Shining...’ Cadence coos, ‘how about a game of hide the mistletoe?’

‘Meep,’ the unicorn squeaks.

In the morning, Del explores around the manor grounds. She stares at a pine tree. Part of its bark is missing and sap seeps out. The filly creeps forward. She extends her tongue to taste the sap, but something else lands there instead. The filly looks up. She closes her eye as something lands on her head.

‘Cold!’

Dels head darts around as she watches more snowflakes falling from the sky. The filly screams and gallops back to the house. She charges past Shining as he comes to investigate the screaming and under Rei as she comes out of the kitchen with a snack. The small pegasus bursts into the lounge and hides behind James as the stallion works on fixing the lights that were broken last night. Twilight, Cadence and Night Light look in on the panicking filly.

‘What is wrong?’ James asks, not looking from his work.

‘Ice! Sky! Falling!’ Del shouts.

‘Sentences.’

‘Ice is falling from the sky!’

Night Light looks out a nearby window. ‘You mean the snow?’

‘Snow comes from the sky?’

The unicorn stallion facehooves. Twilight moans. Cadence giggles.

‘To be fair,’ James begins, ‘ever since school got out for winter, Del has been sleeping through the scheduled snowfalls. It is her first winter in Equestria.’

‘Your weather team only does snowfall during the night?’ Night Light asks.

‘Since she lost a bet, Rainbow Dash’s teams have to handle all the snowfall for Ponyville, and she runs night and morning crews,’ Twilight explains.

‘And in all honesty, unmanaged weather, like out here, is way better than the artificial stuff,’ James grumbles.

‘James...’ Twilight growls.

‘It is snowing!’ Rei cheers as she flies into the room.

Del hisses and cowers behind her caretaker.

Cadence giggles. ‘We know already.’

Rei cheers again and flies out to play in the snow.

‘Come on, Del,’ Twilight calls from the door. ‘You like playing in the snow back home. Don’t worry about it falling.’

Del looks up at James. The stallion nods. The filly slowly comes out if hiding and joins Twilight. Night Light leaves to find his wife. Cadence goes to the door as well.

‘Mr Wanderer?’ the princess asks.

‘I’m good.’

‘Mr Wanderer... It would be very fun if you would join us.’

James looks up. Cadence smiles at her guest. The stallion groans and follows the princess outside.
…

Everypony trots around the chateau in the snowfall. The new snow adds to the cover already on the ground. Del trots under James to hide from the falling snow. Rei flies through snowfall.

‘It is so pretty out,’ Twilight Velvet comments.

‘Yes, you are,’ Night Light replies.

The kids groan at their parents. Cadence giggles.

Rei yells, ‘Sneak attack!’

The pegasus shakes a branch. A large mass of snow drops towards the group. The mages quickly raise shields to block the prank. Del hisses from under The Wandering Umbrella.

‘Aw! That is cheating!’ Rei whines.

‘You’ve never been in a snowball fight with an unicorn before,’ Spike grumbles.

‘I have... But Helios and Alba never cheated like that before!’

‘It’s okay, Rei,’ James says. ‘I’ll hook up the Wii U when we get back so we whoop them in some Neightendo Land games or Raypony Legends.’

‘You got a copy of Raypony Legends! It doesn’t come out until next year!’ Twilight gasps, grabbing her coltfriend’s hooves.

‘Early Hearths Warming gift for myself.’ James leans in close and whispers, ‘Yes, it is that awesome.’

‘We’re teleporting back now!’ Twilight tells her family while powering up a spell.

‘Twilight, Mr Wanderer, Rei, stay here,’ Cadence sighs. ‘We should be doing things as a family.’

‘We will be,’ Twilight argues. ‘Well, five of us at a time will.’

‘She makes a great argument,’ James adds, nodding.

Cadence stomps and growls.

‘Don’t worry, Cadence,’ Shining assures. ‘Twilly is just scared I’ll whoop her in a snowball fight like when we were younger.’

Twilight faces her brother. ‘What was that?’

‘Just saying until you went to Ponyville, I would teach you a thing or two about snowball fights every winter.’

Twilight laughs derisively. ‘I think when Chrysalis controlled your mind she changed a few memories. I know a certain colt who would cry to mom if so much as a snowflake touched his horn.’

Shining snorts. ‘Obviously somepony you made up when you were Discorded.’

The two siblings growl at each other and levitate several snowballs each. Cadence steps between the siblings.

‘Okay, okay. Calm down you two,’ the princess sighs. ‘How about a nice, friendly snowball fight to settle things?’

The siblings look at each other and smirk.

‘Now, for the rest of the teams...’

‘Teams?!’ the siblings exclaim.

‘Well, to make things fair for us. That way, we can all have fun.’

‘Oo! Me, Rei, Del and Spike with Twilight versus the rest of you,’ James speaks up.

‘Is that really fair?’ Night Light asks.

‘You have all of the magic users, including a princess and the captain of the royal guard. I think that balances things.’

‘Fine. Whatever.’

The princess claps her hooves. ‘Great! How about we take a few minutes to build forts and get ready? That way we can have a lot of fun.’

‘Deal,’ the siblings agree. ‘You’re going down.’

After one last laugh, the groups split up to be preparations.
…

Shining inspects his small fort. He and his father have made a small wall while Cadence and Twilight Velvet have a large pile of snowballs. The unicorn is proud of their work. He turns to mock whatever battlements his sister has built, but she is not around.

‘Come on, Twilight,’ Shining calls. ‘Where are you hiding?’

‘We’re almost ready!’ Twilight shouts back. ‘One moment.’

Shining groans. He and Night Light follow Twilight’s voice but quickly come to a halt. Before them stands a large ice fortress complete with a pegasus flying patrols and a dragon armed with an ice spear. Del peeks from a window before popping back inside. At the top of the multi-story fort, Twilight uses her magic to reinforce the walls while James sonics the snow into a solid structure.

Twilight notices her brother and glares. ‘We’re not ready let!’

‘Oh, my,’ Twilight Velvet comments as she trots up. ‘Very impressive, Twilight.’

‘Thanks! I am glad I read that book on provisional military structures on the train ride.’

Shining stammers, ‘Th-that’s cheating!’

‘Jealous much?’ Twilight taunts.

A snowball is launched at the smug princess. Twilight growls and fires one back at her brother.

‘What’s going..?’ Cadence begins to ask as she trots up. She sees the fight started and giggles. She levitates all of the snowballs she made earlier. Twilight Velvet notices and joins in the fun.

James looks up from his work. ‘We started already? Thanks for the warning.’

The stallion ducks behind a parapet and tosses snowballs over his shoulder. One hits Night Light in the head. He snorts and starts launching snowballs upwards. Rei flies overhead, throwing snowballs at everypony below her. That is until she gets hit in the face. The pegasus looks up to see Cadence flying in front of her, levitating several snowballs all at once. Rei laughs and shoots into the air. She returns with a cloud and kicks it, shooting a barrage of snowballs at the princess. Cadence laughs and flies away.

A snowball hits Shining in the horn. ‘OW! That had a rock in it!’ the stallion shouts.

‘Did not!’ Twilight shouts back. ‘You’re just a weakling.’

Twilight hits her brother with another snowball.

‘MOM! Twilight’s putting rocks and ice in her snowballs.’

Twilight Velvet groans and facehoofs. She catches a snowball with her magic and fires it back at Spike, knocking the dragon over. She props Spike back up. ‘Sorry.’ A snowball hits her in the side of the head.

‘Ditto,’ Spike laughs.

Spike runs off with Twilight Velvet chasing him. James looks up from his hiding place.

‘Am I hitting anypony?’ the stallion asks.

‘Maybe if you actually aimed,’ Night Light taunts.

James aims and throws, but Night Light raises a shield at the last moment. He blocks several more snowballs, frustrating the physicist. James raises another snowball to throw, but Night Light shakes his head and points behind the other stallion. He turns to see dozens of snowballs levitating behind him.

‘Oh, frak.’

Night Light pelts James with snowballs, eventually knocking the stallion off the fort. The earth pony lands hard in the snow in front of the unicorn. Night Light laughs over the fallen stallion. The laugh is stopped by a mass of snow to the face. James starts laughing from where he lays.

Above the fort, Rei dodges Cadence’s snowballs while bucking clouds to shoot back at the princess. The pegasus turns back to taunt her pursuer but gets hit in the wing with a snowball. She loses control of her flying and crashes into the fort. The structure starts shaking. Twilight yells and teleports to safety. The fort collapses into a large pile of snow. The unicorns shield themselves from the small avalanche. Once the snow is settled, Rei pops up from the wreckage. She shakes the snow from her head, then gasps.

‘DEL!’ Rei shouts and starts digging in the snow.

Rei quickly uncovers the cowering pegasus. Del looks up at the older pegasus then gallops to James crying. The stallion holds the upset pegasus.

‘Del! I am so sorry!’ Rei begs. ‘I’m really sorry.’

Del does not reply. She just keeps holding James and crying.

‘I think it is time we headed in,’ the stallion sighs.

The others nod. Twilight and Night Light prep teleportation spells and return them to the manor.

Back at the mansion, everypony is gathered in the lounge. Night Light watches as James finishes with the lights. Twilight, Rei, Shining and Cadence play Raypony Legends while Spike supports them with the gamepad. Twilight Velvet watches the younger ponies playing the game.

Twilight growls, ‘Damn it, Shining. Stop sucking!’

‘Slow down a bit so I can catch up.’

‘We’ll slow down once you stop sucking.’

Spike groans and uses the gamepad to help Shining out. Del trots in, having come from a warm bath. She looks around then gallops to James for a hug.

‘Feeling better?’ the stallion asks.

Del nods and nuzzles the stallion’s chest. Rei drops out of the game and goes over to the smaller pegasus.

‘I’m sorry,’ Rei apologizes. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was an accident.’

Del lets go of James and hugs Rei. Cadence joins them.

‘I’m sorry too,’ Cadence adds. ‘I was the one who hit Rei and knocked her into the fort.’

Del looks up and growls at the princess. ‘Of course it was your fault that I was hurt. You hate my sister, and you hate me.’

‘I am not really sure what you are talking about.’

‘Tsk. Stupid princess. You abuse your power over love and punish those with similar skills.’

‘Del, what are you..?’

‘Quiet! You’re mean, and I don’t like you.’ Del looks back at James. ‘I know I’m going to be in trouble, so I’ll be in my room until dinner.’

The angry filly gallops away.

‘Um, what just happened?’ Cadence asks.

‘She’s just overreacting,’ James sighs. ‘I’ll go talk to her.’ He gives his sonic to Night Light. ‘Here. You finish up.’

Night Light examines the tool. ‘How do I..?’

‘Just point and sonic. Sheesh. It is not rocket science... which is actually pretty easy when you know what you are doing. Transdimensional information tunneling, now, that is hard.’

James gallops away, leaving a confused pony in his wake. Night Light fumbles with the sonic. It goes off briefly while he is holding it to his face. Rei groans, takes the device and shows how it is used.

‘Rei, are you the sister Del keeps referring to?’ Cadence asks. She frowns. ‘I thought you liked me.’

Rei shakes her head. ‘I still love you, Ai-hime.’ She looks at Twilight. ‘Um, are we allowed to tell her?’

Twilight looks back. ‘Del’s sister is Full Moon. Sorta. That was an interesting morning.’

‘Great. So we have bloodthirsty monster staying with us,’ Shining groans.

‘I have fought them more often than you have,’ Twilight snaps, ‘and yes, while they do feed on love and can stomach meat better than normal ponies can, they are a lot more like us that we are willing to admit. They still love and have families like we do. You could have learned something if you actually paid attention to Full Moon during her trip.’

‘He paid attention when we were in the spa together,’ Rei teases.

‘Shut your yap!’ Shining yells. He takes a breath. ‘Listen, it is not like I think they are all bad. I mean, I have one with my personal unit. Just Full Moon...’

‘My name is Full Moon, too,’ Rei growls. ‘Twilight’s right. You have to learn to stop sucking.’

The young mare stomps from room. Twilight snorts at her brother and follows. Shining stomps the floor and storms away. Night Light holds the sonic to his ear to examine it further. It goes off, and he screams and holds his ear.

Cadence looks around, panicked. ‘Please. Somepony tell me what is going on. I am really confused.’

Twilight Velvet tends to her husband. ‘Don’t worry, dear. We all are.’

Cadence moans and kicks at the ground.

Dinner is extremely tense. Del continually glares at Cadence, unnerving the princess. Twilight and Shining grumble at each other. Spike watches the ponies he considers to be older siblings and sighs. Rei stews in her seat and barely touches her third helping. James talks with Twilight Velvet, catching up on what he missed. Night Light eats calmly, his hearing slowly returning.

‘This is pretty good,’ Night Light comments. ‘Rei, can you pass the salt?’

Rei gives the salt to her dad who offers it to the unicorn.

‘It is not going to explode on me or anything, will it?’

‘Only if you separate the elements and ignite them,’ the physicist replies.

‘The way your magic wand behaves, I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened.’

James groans. ‘You just point and sonic. Nothing complicated there. Twilight has one. She could have given you pointers.’

‘Pfft. Like she would have gotten it right,’ Shining snorts. ‘Probably rob a bank or something.’

‘And the captain of the royal guard was where when Nightmare Moon returned?’ Twilight chides.

‘You know I was still in Canterlot! I saw you off that morning for Celestia’s sake! She ordered me to stay behind.’ Shining slumps back in his chair. ‘You would never have met your friends or became a princess if I hadn’t had to stay in Canterlot.’

‘Twilight! Shining! Stop it!’ Twilight Velvet scolds.

‘He started it!’ ‘She started it!’

Rei pushes away from the table. ‘I’m done. I’ll be in my room.’

Del hops up. ‘Me, too.’

‘Rei, Del, don’t you want to play games with the family?’ James asks. ‘We can have a great game of Cards Against Ponies.’

‘Not if she is playing,’ Del spits.

‘There is nothing wrong with her!’ Rei snaps. ‘Stop blaming her! No Full Moon, neither your sister nor myself, would hold a petty grudge like you are!’

‘You don’t know my sister!’

‘I know her better than you!’

‘ENOUGH!’

Cadence slams her hooves on the table, cracking it. Everypony stops and stares at the princess. She is on the verge of tears.

‘This isn’t supposed to happen! I wanted the whole family together so we could be happy and loving and caring. Instead, you have broken into petty arguments, and I am getting blamed for something I have no clue about. Twilight, Shining, I love you both, but you haven’t stopped fighting since you got here. Night Light, Mr Wanderer is just trying to help out. Give him a chance. Del, I have no idea who your sister is, but I am sorry for ever hurting her. That doesn’t mean I hurt you too. And Rei, Del is practically your sister. You should be comforting her when she is upset, not picking a fight with everypony. I have powerful love magic, but I doubt even that can fix the horribleness I see before me.’ Cadence breaks down crying. ‘I just wanted everypony to be happy for Hearths Warming! Now you all ruined it! I can never have a happy Hearths Warming! Never!’

The princess gallops away, sobbing. Everypony is left stunned. Rei and Del look at the others for a moment before trotting off to their rooms.

‘Way to go, Shining. You upset your wife,’ Twilight shoots.

‘Me? It was your fault!’ Shining yells back.

‘TWILIGHT! SHINING! Go to your room!’ Twilight Velvet snaps.

Twilight is so scared that she instantly teleports away. Shining gallops away. Spike groans and heads off. Night Light gets up and trots away, levitating a bottle of wine with him.

‘That went swimmingly,’ the unicorn comments as he leaves.

Twilight Velvet and James are left alone in the dining room.

‘For what it is worth, I am sorry for my part in all of this,’ James apologizes.

‘None of it is your fault,’ Twilight Velvet sighs. ‘The kids are like this every year. It was impossible to shop for them and Spike without them having present envy. And my husband... He’s just being an ass, and not the good kind like you see everyday in the market.’

‘Makes it really tough for me to ask him what I wanted to ask him...’

‘What were you going to ask him?’

James takes a deep breath. ‘Well, I guess I should talk about this with you too...’

Twilight paces in her room. Spike has a quill and paper out.

‘Furthermore, his complete lack of discipline and failure to attend to his wife’s most basic needs makes him unfit to command the Equestrian military or even a single unit of soldiers,’ Twilight raves. ‘These points and many more are why my brother should be stripped of his rank and title and banished from Equestria and put in jail in the place he is banished to. Faithfully, Princess Twilight Sparkle.’ She turns to Spike. ‘Did you get all of that?’

Spike stares at Twilight in disbelief. ‘You really want to send all of that to Celestia over a little tiff with your brother?’

‘He crossed a line, Spike! One he should never be allowed to cross again.’

There is a knock on the door.

‘Twilly?’

Twilight looks to see Shining step into her room.

‘Speaking of crossing lines...’

‘Twilly, can we talk?’

Twilight snorts and turns away.

‘Listen, I know we both said some pretty outrageous things but if you were offended, I am sorry.’

‘IF! You have been a pain this entire time!’

‘You are our guest! And not a very good one at that,’ -- he snorts -- ‘princess.’

‘Not like you are being easy to get along with,’ -- she snorts -- ‘brother.’

The siblings growl at each other. Outside the room, ‘YAMATTE!’ is shouted. The siblings turns away from each other.

‘Jerk,’ Twilight huffs.

‘Brat,’ Shining spits.

‘Will you two give it a rest!’ Spike yells.

‘What!’ The siblings snap their attention to the dragon.

‘Every single year, you two fight about nothing,’ Spike growls. ‘You have fought every year since I was hatched. It is like you pick some stupid little thing and argue non-stop. He gets more presents. She has bigger presents. He threw a snowball at me. She has a coltfriend. He has a glass of water. She slept in past ten. Enough already! You two love each other every other day of the year but as soon as presents are involved, you make make a dragon look as generous as Rarity!’ He snorts a small flame. ‘Is it really that hard to get along on the one day where you are supposed to get along?’

The siblings kick at the ground, ashamed.

‘Do we really fight like this every year?’ Shining mumbles.

‘Yes!’ Spike snaps.

Twilight looks up at her brother. ‘You still are my BBBFF.’

‘And you’re my LSBFF.’

Shining puts a foreleg around his sister. Twilight hugs her brother in return. She looks over and motions Spike over. The dragon walks over and joins the siblings for a group hug.
…

Night Light trots around the lounge with his wine. He stops in front of the holiday tree. The box of lights sits in front of him. The unicorn sighs and levitates the lights onto the tree. He takes a deep breath and plugs them in, lighting the tree.

‘What do you know? It actually works.’

Night Light turns to leave, but James is standing at the door.

‘Mr Wanderer.’

James trots into the room. ‘Sir, can we talk for a moment?’
…

Del hides under her bed. She growls and hisses at nothing in particular. There is a loud scream from the next room.

‘YAMATTE!’ Rei shouts as she is levitated into the room.

Del lets out an unholy hiss at the older pegasus. Rei growls at the younger pegasus and bolts for the door. She is deflected by a purple barrier. Twilight Velvet steps through the barrier. She magically drags Del from under the bed and sits both pegasi on the bed.

‘Now, I haven’t had to deal out punishment too much with my kids,’ Twilight Velvet snorts, ‘but it should come as no surprise where Twilight got her ability to give lectures.’ She paces in front of the pegasi. ‘I have heard stories from Twilight about both of you. What went wrong? She used to say you were a pest, Rei, but lately, she has had nothing but good to say. I enjoyed hearing about how responsible you had become. Now you are just being mean for no reason.’

Rei looks away and whimpers.

‘And you, Del. You are being just nasty! Cadence did nothing to you except try to be your friend. Yes, there have been some accidents, but she was not at fault. I know your father is trying to bribe you with offers of presents. I have heard of his temper, so it is luck you haven’t set him off. Why can’t you be the sweet little filly I have heard so much about?’

Del covers her head and whines.

Twilight Velvet sighs. ‘I know you two are good girls. You are probably feeding off of the bad vibes from my husband and Shining and... Cadence.’

‘Ai-hime...’ Rei squeaks.

The unicorn sighs and sits with the pegasi. ‘I guess I can talk a bit about her foalhood.’
…

Cadence stands on a balcony atop the manor. She leans over the railing, crying. She looks up when she hears hooffalls behind her.

‘I know it is a little late, but we are finally making up,’ James tells the princess.

Cadence wipes her tears. ‘That is good.’

‘We can finally have the family Hearths Warming you wanted.’

‘Can we? Can we really?’ The princess starts crying again. ‘I just wanted everypony to be happy, but we just ended up fighting. We always fight.’

James trots beside Cadence. ‘Princess?’

‘My parents used to fight all the time. Even on the holidays. That is why I went to live with my aunt. They are better now but every holiday, I would still remember their fighting. Ever since I married Shining, I wanted to have a happy Hearths Warming with the family, but that doesn’t seem likely now.’

‘Cadence, you are the princess of love. You have to have sensed what I have been up to since I got here.’

‘Yes... Your love for her is quite strong.’

‘And for my daughter and Del and everypony here. We all deeply care for each other. It just took us a while to realize it. Even without your magic, you awakened the love within us.’

‘But the holiday is ruined.’

‘Night Light decorated the tree and is playing cards with Shining and Spike. Rei and Del are making cookies with Velvet. We had our slip-ups, but the holiday is coming together nicely.’

‘That does sound nice...’

‘And if that is not enough cheer for you, Twilight and I would like you to join us in the closet.’

Cadence turns and looks at the smiling stallion. She raises a questioning eyebrow.

Stormy lays in his bed in his father’s mansion. He is trying to catch up on his sleep after staying up late playing with Lemon. He rolls over and faces the ceiling. The young stallion yawns and wakes a little. His eyes go wide, and he tries screaming. The scream is cut short as Trixie lands on him, muzzle to muzzle. The performer’s hat wafts down to her head. Trixie breaks the sudden kiss and turns up to the ceiling.

‘A little warning would be nice!’ Trixie shouts.

Stormy laughs. ‘Trixe, look out.’

She looks back down. ‘For what?’

Stormy wraps his forelegs around Trixie and pulls her in for another kiss.

Before their big day celebrating with the family, Applejack and Apple Bloom are examining gifts left for them by their beds. Apple Bloom sets up her new telescope. She steps around a small card that reads ‘For when you want to spend all night with Starlight. - TWP’

‘Now, be careful,’ Applejack warns. ‘Ya don’ wanna break it befer ya can set it up in yer clubhouse.’

‘Ah won’t!’ Apple Bloom groans. ‘Sides, ya can fix it with yer new screwdriver if anythin’ happens t’ it.’

The sisters look at a basket on Applejack’s bed. It is filled with oranges with a shiny, new sonic screwdriver sitting under a card reading ‘You might enjoy a Satsuma sometime. - TWP PS: Enjoy being able to fix anything or go on ghost hunts.’ Applejack laughs then quickly hides the basket when she hears a knock on the door.

Lyra gallops around her family’s mansion in Canterlot. Her magic shines bright as she levitates something beside her. She rounds a corner and almost runs into Bon Bon.

‘You have been playing with that all morning. Aren’t you even going to have any of my sweets before your parents eat them all?’

Lyra frowns. ‘But, but...’ She levitates an oddly-shaped action figure in front of her. ‘Super-Spider-Iron-X-Bat-Human cannot save the world without me!’

Bon Bon groans and leaves her wife with her new toy.

Stormy lays in his bed as a dark purple hoof strokes his mane. Raspberry coughs a bit as she gets up. She kisses her son on the forehead before trotting out of his room. She sighs as she trots to her room. She jumps at the sight of a box on her bed. The unicorn nervously opens the box from a safe distance with her magic. Her shock is replaced with calm as the scent of fresh scones reaches her nose. Raspberry trots to the bed and levitates one of the treats. She lifts a letter from beside the box.

‘Don’t forget to share these with me and teach me everything you can. - Strawberry PS: Mr Strawberry sends his love.’

Raspberry smiles at the note and eats the scone. An odd whooshing sound can be heard as the mare eats.

Inkie examines a rock with an eyepiece. Beside her, a greyish-purple mare moans in boredom.

‘It is just some rock. What is the big deal?’ the mare groans.

‘Blinkie, this isn’t just some rock. It is an asteroid,’ Inkie replies. ‘This is a piece of the universe.’

Blinkie groans louder and trots away. ‘At least Pinkie is acting stupid over something not as stupid.’

Blinkie leaves her sister and passes Pinkie’s room. Inside, Pinkie has a huge grin on her face as she flips through a photo album containing pictures of all of her friends from across their lives. The pink pony squeals with joy with each new page.

Beside her is a note: ‘Don’t forget your friendships, no matter what complications may be born.’

Full Moon trots into an hotel room after a day of performing. She nods to her bodyguard who seals the room behind her. Chrysalis drops her disguise and collapses on a couch. A small box bounces beside her muzzle.

‘What is this?’

Chrysalis opens the box. A small key is attached to a note.

‘In case you ever want to visit your sister. Try it out!’

The changeling groans and gets up. She trots to a door and inserts the key. The door opens, and Chrysalis cringes. She steps into the pinkest room she has ever seen. The changeling recoils at everything she sees until she notices a wall covered in shelves. She looks at every shelf, reading the names on every label. Chrysalis climbs onto the overly-pink bed. She smiles as she rests on Del’s bed.

Fluttershy trots to her room with a book under her wing. She hops on her bed and opens it up. Surprise looks in the room and leans against the door frame.

‘You know,’ the older pegasus begins, ‘the helmet last year and a book on spear combat this year, I would think your “husband” was on my side and wanted you to follow in my hoofsteps.’

Fluttershy huffs. ‘James has his ways, mother. Just because I may not be interested in combat doesn’t mean he got me this book without reason.’

Surprise sighs. ‘I know. I know. Although, if he gets you a book on air force rules and regulations, I will take you to the academy and have you replace Spitfire in an instant.’

Fluttershy groans and rolls her eyes.

Surprise laughs and goes to her daughter. She closes the book. ‘Come on. Let’s get back out there with the family. I mean, what pegasus wouldn’t want to be with her family on Hearths Warming?’
…

Rainbow Dash is passed out in her home, something her parents are used to, given her sleep habits. This time she is not asleep. She has fainted. In her hooves is an autographed photo. It is of a young dark blue pegasus stallion with a rainbow mane dressed as a Wonderbolt. The autograph reads: ‘To my biggest fan. Thanks for one day teaching me everything I know. Chrome Blitz. PS: Scootaloo is the toughest wing commander!’

Rainbow Dash’s leg twitches. A slightly older pale blue mare looks into the room and rolls her eyes.

‘Not again, Rainbow. What would your protege think?’
…

Scootaloo is passed out in her home, beside the holiday tree. Her mother fans the fainted pegasus. In Scootaloo’s hooves is an autographed photo. It is of an older version of herself and Rainbow Dash dressed as Wonderbolts. The autograph reads: ‘To me. Hang in there and keep training. Rainbow Dash will help out along the way. Me. PS: Time travel is SO AWESOME!’

Scootaloo’s leg twitches.

‘Come on, Scootaloo,’ her mother calls. ‘It is not like this was that big of a spoiler.’

Rarity yawns and stretches as she wakes up. Thanks to her Time Lord acquaintance, she has been getting holiday gifts from all of her friends the past six days, including rare gems from around the world and planets beyond. She is looking forward to what she will get for her actual Hearths Warming gifts. Before styling her mane, Rarity notices a letter next to her makeup. She lets out a happy squeal and rips it open while beginning her primping.

‘I hope you enjoyed the gifts so far. To top it off, here is something I promised to get you after you made me watch Sweetie Belle when Stormy was visiting his mother’s family last month. PS: She LOVED the movie that much.’

Rarity sets down the letter, confused. There is a knock on her door.

‘RARITY!’ Sweetie Belle shouts. ‘You have to see what Mr Wanderer got me!’

The older unicorn groans and magically opens the door. The younger unicorn haphazardly drives a small, electric go-kart into the room, crashing into everything.

‘Make way for Venelope von Sweetie Belle!’ the unicorn cheers before driving out of the room.

Rarity’s parents gallop past the room as they chase the filly.

‘Well played, Mr Wanderer,’ Rarity growls, her eye twitching. ‘You got revenge on me. It. Is. ON!’

Diamond Tiara sighs as she sits in the middle of all of her presents. She has stacks of new games, toys and dresses, but she does not seem happy. Even the life-sized Celestia plushie she got after seeing Apple Bloom’s Cadence plushie does not raise the filly’s spirits. Filthy Rich trots up with one more gift in his mouth. He sets it in front of his daughter.

‘I found this under the tree,’ Mr Rich says. ‘I don’t recognize it, but it says it is for you.’

Diamond Tiara sighs and looks at the tag. ‘To Diamond Tiara, From TWP.’ She groans at the thought of what he might have gotten her. The filly opens the box and gasps. Inside rests a tablet. Diamond Tiara’s face lights up as she picks up the electronic device.

‘That looks pretty impressive,’ Mr Rich comments.

‘Yes... Very nice...’

‘Just don’t forget to thank your friend.’

Diamond Tiara just nods as she examines her tablet. Mr Rich smiles, pats her on the back and leaves her to play.

Octavia sits in her apartment in front her sound system. A symphony is playing. Vinyl trot over and sits by her friend.

‘I might not know this classical stuff as well as you, but don’t you have this already? ‘ the DJ asks.

‘Shh!’ Octavia hisses. ‘This a recording of my favorite Beethooven symphony. The first time he performed it, too...’

Vinyl smiles. ‘He’s really awesome, ya know.’

Octavia leans her head against her friend’s shoulder. ‘Vinyl. Just shut up and listen with me.’

Vinyl’s smile grows, and she leans back against her friend.

Lucas’ family is getting to know Mimi. During their gift exchange, they are quizzing the mare about her past. Mimi is careful to skirt around the fact that she is really a changeling. Earth changes her seat and plops down beside her little brother.

‘I’m impressed, little bro.’

‘Why is that?’ Lucas asks, sipping some cider.

‘You found a really great mare to settle for you,’ Earth replies. ‘Here I thought you would settle for the first pony you slept with, even if she turned out to be a changeling.’

Lucas chokes on his drink. Earth smirks.

‘Oh, Lucas. You have another one,’ Paula says, levitating a small package to her son.

Lucas examines the package. ‘Looks like it is for you too, Mimi.’

‘I wasn’t expecting to get anything,’ Mimi comments, moving closer to see the package being opened.

Lucas opens the package. His jaw drops. Earth’s eyes go wide. Mimi picks up a card resting atop a set of keys and a deed.

‘Just a small starter place so you don’t have to share that crapped apartment when you start a family,’ Mimi reads. ‘PS: You’re fired.’ She looks at the card. ‘I don’t get it.’

Lucas puts a foreleg around his fillyfriend. ‘It means we have the best boss ever.’ He kisses Mimi. ‘The best.’

Daring sits in her apartment reading her new book. A sound from outside catches her ear. She sets down the book, but she does not get far as she looks at the cover: Return of the Sapphire Stone by Dashing Drake. She smiles as she turns the book over. The picture on the back is of a handsome light purple pegasus stallion with a messy monochrome rainbow mane wearing a vest and pith helmet standing next to an older Daring Do. The mare shakes her head.

‘You already saved me,’ she mutters. ‘You didn’t have to do anything else for me.’

She hears another sound outside and goes to the window. Daring looks across the street and laughs at what she sees. Chrysalis is looking around James’ apartment. The pegasus whistles at her friend and waves. The changeling jumps in surprise when she turns to see the pegasus fly across the street and knock on the window.

‘I didn’t know you were here,’ Chrysalis says, helping Daring inside.

‘I don’t really have anywhere else to go. Thought you were touring the Griffin Empire?’

‘I was invited to see my sister, but it appears she is not in.’

Daring laughs. ‘She should be in Canterlot with your ex-husband.’

‘What do you mean “ex”?’ Chrysalis snarls.

The pegasus smirks. ‘Ya know, I have a pretty decent stock of booze back at my place...’

Chrysalis smiles wide and nods towards Del’s room. ‘Bring as much as you can carry and meet me in my suite.’

Daring laughs again and flies out the window.

Celestia stands outside Luna’s room. She knocks on the door while levitating a graphic novel in front of her.

‘Busy!’ Luna answers in her Royal Canterlot voice.

‘Dear sister, when are you coming out?’ Celestia asks. ‘I want to show you this adorable comic about the most adorable pony princess.’

‘Can’t. James bought me some games on Steam, and I have to download them.’

Celestia sighs and opens the door. ‘Oh, what did he get you?’

Luna starts laughing nervously. ‘All of them.’

Celestia’s jaw drops.

‘Oh, and he got me a few new hard drives too,’ she adds, motioning to a ceiling-high server rack.

Celestia snorts and turns away. ‘Where is my mistletoe headband? I have the urge to teleport to Fancy Pants’ mountain chateau. Somepony owes me a better present...’

Luna just nods and stares at her monitor as Celestia storms from her room.

At the manor, the family gift exchange is going full swing. Everypony is in high spirits as they receive their gifts. Del sits in the middle of a pile of cakes and candies she received from James, Cadence and Twilight Velvet, ignoring the book Twilight got her. Spike inspects and samples the intergalactic gems he received. Cadence smiles at James in thanks for the new tiara he added to her collection. Night Light opens his current gift. His eye instantly twitches.

‘A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawk? Mr Wanderer... You shouldn’t have. Literally.’

‘You’ll love it, dad,’ Twilight assures. ‘He is the greatest griffin physicist to ever live.’

‘He gets a few things wrong, but that happens to all of us from time to time,’ James adds.

‘Smashing...’

Night Light drinks a cup of cider and rolls his eyes. Twilight Velvet investigates the simple letter James gave her. She looks inside and sees a ticket.

‘Yeah,’ James speaks up. ‘Theta told me you never traveled with him when you knew each other. That is good for one trip.’

‘One trip where?’ Twilight Velvet asks.

The Wandering Physicist grins. ‘Somewhere spectacular.’

Twilight Velvet raises a curious eyebrow. She returns the smile and tucks the ticket away.

‘My turn!’ Rei cheers.

James reaches into a bag and gives his daughter a small package. She quickly rips it open then gasps in shock and her wings stick straight up. Rei looks around at everypony looking at her. She blushes and hides her new game.

‘Thank you,’ she says, kissing her father on the cheek.

‘What was that?’ Twilight asks her coltfriend while he gives Shining his gift.

James covers his mouth and whispers, ‘It is a custom-built eroge using her and her friends as the character models.’

The princess cringes. ‘Ew.’

‘I don’t know what is worse: that it was exactly what she wanted or that Rarity’s notebooks had everything the animators needed to make it anatomically accurate.’

‘Double ew.’

Shining finishes opening his gift and facehooves. Cadence giggles.

‘What is it?’ Twilight Velvet asks.

‘It is the complete discography of Full Moon,’ Cadence answers. ‘Ooo. I might have to borrow it sometime.’

‘We got it signed, too,’ Twilight adds. ‘That way it would be a tragedy if it ever got lost or ruined, Shining.’

Shining shudders. ‘Thank you, Twilly, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Almost near the bottom here...’ James comments as he gives Twilight her gift.

The princess unwraps a book almost as big as Del. ‘The Complete History of the Rise and Fall of Pre-Dracoequuian Equestria?’

‘Just some light reading.’

‘It is wonderful,’ Twilight replies, kissing her coltfriend.

‘Anything else in that infinite bag of yours?’ Night Light asks.

Twilight smiles at her coltfriend. Her family exchange glances and lean forward. Rei hides her game again and looks at her father. James laughs and reaches into his bag. His hoof touches a small purple box and recoils. He looks down and tries reaching again, but his leg will not move.

James looks up and smiles at everypony. ‘I guess not at this time. Hey! Who is up for a game? We have Cards Against Ponies.’

The family sighs. Twilight looks around, not knowing why they reacted that way. She levitates a box of cards and starts setting up the game. James looks back at his bag.

Soon... The stallion thinks as he turns to the game.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: TWP wimps out of something important...

Story timeline: Applejack gets a Satsuma from James. Chrysalis gets a key to take her to Del's room. Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo and Daring get some spoilers.

Story Event: We all know what James was going to do. Now, we play the waiting game. ... ... ... The waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!

Sweetie Belle's First Date

Characters (Human): Stormy, Sweetie Belle, Rei, Inkie, Flitter, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Pipsqueak, Dinky, Rumble, Featherweight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash
Characters (Pony): Lyra
Original Start Date: October 29, 2012

‘Do I have to?’ Stormy groans as he holds his head in his hands.

‘PLEASE, STORMY!’ Sweetie Belle begs beside him.

‘It is all up to you,’ Rarity sighs, ‘but you know how much it would mean to her.’

The household is eating dinner at Carousel Boutique. Stormy looks over at the young girl, almost a teenager, who he considers a little sister. She stares up at him with the saddest of expressions.

‘I’ll have to check with Trixie,’ the young man groans while texting. ‘But be warned: if she says “no”, that is fi...’ He gets a text. ‘Damn it, Trixie...’ He groans again and looks at Sweetie. ‘Fine. We can go on a date.’

‘YES!’ Sweetie Belle shouts, fist pumping.

The young teen hops up from her seat and rushes off to call her friends.

‘It is wonderful of you to agree to this, Stormy,’ Rarity compliments. ‘It will be a good opportunity for you two to spend some time together as well as give her practice for when she is ready to date.’

‘I don’t mind spending time with her,’ Stormy grumbles. ‘It is just that she is like a sister to me. It will be weird.’

‘Would you prefer she have her first date with a boy in class and she ends up feeling sad and rejected and standing in the rain in her best dress that she sewed herself, plotting to one day destroy everything he stands for bit by bit just to see him suffer until he knows true pain and misery?’

‘How is Noteworthy?’

‘He’s doing fine.’ Rarity looks away. ‘For now.’

Sweetie Belle runs back into the room. ‘Rarity! Are you going to make me a new dress for this?’

‘I will, Sweetie Belle. No need to shout.’

‘Good, because I have a few design ideas I want to show you.’

‘Dear Celestia. I hope you remembered to put a hole for your head this time.’

Rarity sighs and follows her sister away.

‘What about me?’ Stormy asks.

Sweetie looks back. ‘You’ll be handsome no matter what. You can wear whatever.’ She grins evilly and covers her mouth. ‘Not that you’ll need it.’

The two women head upstairs to look at Sweetie’s designs, leaving a stunned Stormy. The young man sighs and cleans up. He sets the dishes in the sink he quickly turns around.

‘Wait. What?!’

At Inkie’s slightly-furnished apartment, Rei lays on Inkie’s lap while they watch a movie together. Thanks to Scootaloo’s mother doing some post-holiday remodeling, the young women finally have a couch to sit on. Inkie smiles and rubs Rei’s back a bit.

‘So, what do you think?’ Inkie asks.

‘I think Inkie-chan has the best lap in the world,’ Rei coos. ‘I just want to kiss it all over.’

Both women freeze at the implication of the statement. They blush bright red. Rei quickly sits up and scoots to the opposite end of the couch.

Rei fakes a cough. ‘Anyway, we have to do something about this Stormy situation.’

‘Oh, geez,’ Inkie groans. ‘Just because his tweet said “FML”, doesn’t mean he needs our help to make it a reality.’

‘Are you saying something about my problem solving skills?’ Rei growls.

‘Well, just before break, you were detained for trying to help Silver Spoon.’

‘Once everything was worked out, I was in the clear, Spoon-chan was able to see her daddy and bakayaro failed the class. We all won.’

‘Yeah, I don’t think him failing was a win...’

‘It was for the two of us.’

Inkie groans.

‘Besides, I just want to watch him and Sweetie-chan. I think they will be cute together.’

Inkie takes deep breath. ‘Well, as long as we’re not interfering...’

‘And that is why I called in backup.’

‘What?’

There is a knock on the door. Rei springs up and answers before Inkie can react. She opens the door and ushers a slightly older woman inside.

‘Good timing, Flitter-chan,’ Rei greets. ‘We were just talking about you.’

‘All good, I hope,’ Flitter laughs.

‘How could you have called in backup when Stormy just posted?’ Inkie protests.

‘Because Sweetie texted me right after he said “yes”,’ Rei giggles as she sits back down.

Flitter sits between the couple and puts her arms around them. ‘So, what’s the scoop, girls? What do you need Flitter’s amazing help with?’

‘Stormy has a date with Sweetie Belle,’ Rei explains. ‘We need you to run interference while we spy on him. He will be expecting us, not you.’

‘Sweet. Hope her first date was better than my first date.’ She shakes her head. ‘Feathers everywhere...’ She looks at the younger women. ‘He crashed his bike into a chicken coop. Of course, he bailed on me so I was the one in the hospital for a week.’ She clenches a fist and scowls. ‘Then he somehow broke a rib cage...’

Inkie tries sliding away from the disturbed woman. Rei smiles and nods to the story.

‘Great!’ Rei cheers. ‘He’ll never know what hit him.’

Scootaloo paces back and forth across the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse. Her arms are crossed, and she is deep in thought. Apple Bloom watches her friend and looks around slightly. Scootaloo stops and looks at her friend.

‘I bet you’re wondering why I called you here again.’ Scootaloo says.

‘What do ya mean “again”?!’ Apple Bloom shouts.

‘It is because we have another traitor in our midst!’

‘Another?’ Apple Bloom thinks. ‘Wait a minute...’

Scootaloo scowls. ‘Sweetie Belle.’

‘Ah, geez. What’d she do?’

‘She is going on a date, too.’

Apple Bloom jumps up and spins around. ‘Did y’all do this on mah date too!’

Seated around the clubhouse are several other children. Dinky chats with Pipsqueak. Silver Spoon holds Rumble’s hand while the dark grey-haired boy stares at Scootaloo. Diamond Tiara sighs and poses slightly while the skinny Featherweight documents the meeting with his camera. A rustling comes from the mini fridge as Del looks for snacks, her tiara on the fridge as her messy red hair falls everywhere and her skirt slides up a bit.

‘Listen,’ Scootaloo snorts. ‘It doesn’t matter who spied on whose date, or who threw pizza at who, Diamond Tiara.’ -- the other girl turns and harrumphs -- ‘What matters is that we protect Sweetie Belle if Stormy tries doing something weird. Who’s with me!’

‘How’d y’all know ‘bout the pizza!’

‘I’m in!’ Dinky cheers. ‘I have been waiting for us to do something like this again! Well, this or another sleepover.’

Rumble nods. ‘We’re totally in. Right, Silver Spoon?’

‘Sure. I guess,’ the girl sighs.

‘Great!’ Scootaloo grins, exposing a canine. ‘Since we’re all in, let’s continue planning.’

‘Wait. We all didn’ agree,’ Apple Bloom protests.

‘Of course you all did.’ Scootaloo points at Pipqueak. ‘Pip will do it because Dinky is in.’ The young teen groans. ‘Diamond is in because she thinks she is the leader.’

Diamond Tiara tosses a lock of hair over her shoulder. ‘What do you mean “think”? Someone has to fund this venture.’

Scootaloo groans and points at Featherweight. ‘He’ll do whatever I say.’

‘What?’ Featherweight grunts as he snaps a photo.

‘And Del will do whatever I say if I mention that I have a pack of powdered donuts in my bag.’

‘Mine!’ Del shouts as she dives across the room to dig through Scootaloo’s bag.

‘See. We’re all in,’ Scootaloo gloats.

Apple Bloom sighs and shakes her head. ‘Y’all can be a pain in the patooty, ya know that?’

There is a loud crack. Everyone looks to see Featherweight pulling his leg from the floor.

‘Sorry.’ The young teen smiles sheepishly, his buck teeth prominent.

‘How the hay are ya the one t’ fall through the floor! Yer the skinniest one here!’

‘Hey! Focus!’ Scootaloo shouts. ‘We need a plan. Sweetie Belle isn’t telling us anything. She probably suspects we are going to be watching her since she was in on it last time.’

‘Again with the “last time”!’ Apple Bloom yells.

Scootaloo rolls her eyes and looks at Pipsqueak. ‘You had the most, uh, face time with her at the sleepover. What do you think she is planning?’

The young man feels even smaller than normal as everyone looks at him. Dinky glares and starts growling.

‘Well, uh, you see...’ Pipsqueak searches for the right words. ‘We just kissed for the silly game. It wasn’t anything more than that.’

‘Fine,’ Scootaloo groans. Then a thought hits. ‘Wait. Aren’t you in Rarity’s class? Maybe she or Stormy can tell you something.’

Pipsqueak looks down. ‘I guess I can ask Stormy...’

‘Great. Anyone else in the class, do what you can. We’ll press Sweetie more when we...’

‘I need a drink now!’ Del declares as she finishes eating. ‘Also, the hard pink candy went stale.’

‘That was my eraser...’

‘Oh. Sorry.’

Del sticks out her tongue. A large pink wad sits at the tip. Her long canines glint in the light.

‘EW!’ Silver Spoon and Pipsqueak say as they recoil.

‘COOL!’ Dinky and Diamond Tiara cheer as they lean in for a better look.

‘Dude, that’s gross.’ Rumble grimaces and holds Silver Spoon.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom groan and hold their heads. Featherweight edges around the clubhouse to get a better shot.

Rarity settles into the spa next to her friend Fluttershy. Their spa dates always feel more welcome in the middle of winter. The quieter of the women just smiles as she watches her friend relax.

‘This feels great. Right, Fluttershy?’

‘Yes. It feels so good to relax a bit between the holidays.’

‘So, where was I with the latest gossip?’

‘You said you had something about Sweetie Belle. I hope she is okay.’

Rarity laughs. ‘More than okay. She is doing fabulous. She has her first date coming up. Stormy is going to take her out and treat her like the diva she is.’

‘Oh! That is wonderful.’ Fluttershy smiles. ‘I hope nothing goes wrong.’

‘Why should it, darling? Stormy is a wonderful gentleman. He is going to show Sweetie a marvelous time, and there is no worry of anything untoward happening. It is the perfect situation.’

Fluttershy nods. ‘But what about their friends?’

‘Excuse me?’

‘If I remember Apple Bloom’s date, didn’t Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo and even Rei and Stormy all follow James around town all day?’

‘That’s right!’

‘Not to mention that there are all sorts of potential dangers and slip-ups that can occur on a winter’s day. What if some bully attacks them with snowballs or Sweetie gets hit by a falling icicle or a sudden flurry traps them outside as it slowly buries them in a makeshift ice cave, the oxygen slowly running out as they breathe themselves to death, all the while dealing with the starvation and freezing temperatures? It could be a total nightmare!’

Rarity stares at her friend in shock.

Fluttershy squeaks and tries hiding behind her hair. ‘Or something less gruesome but equally scary could happen.’

‘You are completely right!’ Rarity gasps. She grabs Fluttershy by the shoulders. ‘You have to help me protect Sweetie Belle!’ She hugs Fluttershy tight. ‘My poor, precious little sister. Alone out there with her adopted brother. Facing potential death at every turn. No! I will not let that happen! I will protect her! WE will protect her! My best friend and I are coming to save you, Sweetie Belle!’

‘Uh... Rarity...’

‘Yes, Fluttershy?’

‘Can I get my face out of your breasts now?’

Rarity releases her blushing friend. ‘Dreadfully sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. So, will you help me?’

‘Well, uh...’

Rarity growls and pulls her friend in again.

‘I’ll help! I’ll help!’

Rarity lets go. ‘Wonderful of you to volunteer! OH! I’ll design us some snow bunny/Sweetie tracker outfits.’ She squeals. ‘It is going to be so fun.’

Fluttershy groans and sinks into the spa.

On the morning of the big date, Rarity helps Sweetie Belle comb her hair. The task complete, the older sister helps the younger with her specially-designed dress and overcoat. Rarity tears up a little seeing how beautiful her sister looks. The two sisters head downstairs and are greeted by their adopted brother. Stormy looks exceptionally handsome despite wearing only casual winter clothes. He smiles at his younger date.

‘Madam,’ Stormy greets with a bow, taking Sweetie’s hand and kissing it.

The young girl turns beet red and freezes.

Stormy leans towards Rarity and whispers, ‘Told you your classes were overkill.’

‘Oh, hush. I think any girl, even myself, would be more than a little excited to receive such fine treatment from a handsome gent like yourself.’

‘If you think this gets you excited, you should see the behaviour that drives Trixie wild.’

‘Well, she is not your date today, Mr Strawberry.’

Stormy shudders. ‘Please don’t ever call me that.’ He looks down at Sweetie Belle. ‘Ready to hit the town, m’lady?’

Sweetie replies with a high pitched squeak that counts as a ‘yes’, and she and Stormy walk out of the building together. Rarity goes to the door and waves to them.

‘Have a fun time!’ the older sister calls. ‘You are such a lovely couple!’

Stormy flashes the peace sign as he walks away. Rarity gives her siblings a moment to leave before dashing into the house, charging up the stairs, accidentally kicking Opalescence into the wall and darting to her room. The woman quickly strips off her lounging clothes and dons the special winter weather spy gear she designed for herself and Fluttershy. She even puts on a pair of trifocal goggles that she ‘borrowed’ from Pinkie Pie. The fashionista takes a moment to check herself in a mirror before exiting her room. She marches downstairs, careful to avoid the seemingly intentionally hazardly positioned Opal, and heads out the back door. Rarity scans the street and runs across town to meet with Fluttershy.

Rarity finds her friend waiting by the spa, dressed in the same cold weather gear sans trifocal goggles. Fluttershy smiles and waves.

‘Hi, Rarity. You look lovely today.’

‘No time for chit chat. Our targets are on the move. We have thirty clicks until they arrive at the first destination.’

‘Um, Rarity, a click means ki...’

‘No talking! Let’s move!’

Fluttershy screams as her friend starts pushing her away. Aloe and Lotus watch the two women from the warmth of their business.

‘And to think, they are our best customers,’ Lotus sighs.

A large number of children and adults are at one of the town’s larger ponds for some ice skating. Other nearby ponds have fewer skaters, but everyone is having a great time. Stormy helps Sweetie Belle tie her skates after putting on his. Behind him, Pinkie Pie zips past.

‘Whee! This is fun! Catch me if you can!’ the bubbly woman calls.

Seconds later, The Slipping Physicist slides past, trying to keep his balance.

‘This is why I hate ice levels. Ice physics suck.’

Stormy finishes tying his date’s skates and helps her stand up. The young man helps Sweetie Belle to the ice, and they skate away together. Featherweight absentmindedly takes a picture of the couple as he walks to the meetup point. He rounds a hill and is immediately pulled aside.

For this leg in the observations, Scootaloo has set up camp at one of the smaller ponds. On the ice, Dinky, Pipsqueak, Silver Spoon, Rumble and Apple Boom are skating and playing games together. Diamond Tiara is guarding her cup of hot chocolate from a drooling Del. Scootaloo looks like the only one who means business with her black turtleneck and trifocal goggles that she somehow acquired.

‘What do you think you are doing?’ Scootaloo asks the confused Featherweight. ‘Do you want to blow our cover?’

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know,’ Featherweight defends.

‘Please,’ Diamond Tiara scoffs. ‘You’re the one giving us away. Could you wear anything else to make you stand out more?’

‘Hey! This is tactical espionage gear! At least I am taking this seriously.’

‘Right. If I had a pair of toy goggles, I would be so much more “ninja”.’

Scootaloo stomps over to her friend. ‘They aren’t a toy. They are real.’

‘Oh, yeah?’ Diamond Tiara sips her drink. ‘Prove it.’

Scootaloo growls and lowers her goggles. Featherweight gets his camera ready just in time for the young teen to activate her hardware. Nearly instantaneously, Scootaloo screams and pulls off her goggles. She falls to the ground, holding her eyes and swearing like a sailor.

Apple Bloom stops skating and looks over. ‘Don’ tell me y'all were dumb enough t’ turn on yer nightvision goggles in the daylight.’

‘Shut the **** up!’ Scootaloo shouts. ‘Damn it! That really burns!’

Diamond Tiara calmly sips her drink. ‘Huh. So I guess they do work.’

Scootaloo rolls her face into the snow, cursing her friend. Suddenly, a scream comes from their pond. Everyone looks over to see Del stuck to the pond by her tongue. She flails and trying to force herself free without hurting herself. Diamond Tiara groans and holds out her drink. Apple Bloom takes it to unfreeze her friend.

Back on the big pond, Sweetie is leaning against Stormy while they skate. He hopes she is just cold and not planning something devious. The young girl looks up at her date and smiles.

‘Stormy... There is something I’ve been meaning to tell you...’

Stormy suppresses a groan. ‘Yes?’

‘Well, uh... Never mind.’

‘If it is important, you can tell me.’

Sweetie shakes her head. ‘Not yet. It is not the right point in the date.’

Stormy sighs and continues skating. From behind a small mound of snow, Rarity sighs too.

‘They are just so adorable together,’ the fashionista coos.

‘Too bad they are practically siblings.’

‘Oh, they would make such a lovely couple. But then, the age situation would be a reverse of what he has with Trixie.’

‘Pfft! They’re old enough to do what they... Wait. He’s still with Trixie?’

‘Fluttershy, you know that. I share all of the saucy details on our spa dates.’

‘Well, uh, refresh my memory.’

‘What are you...’

Rarity turns around. Fluttershy happily performs ballet on a small pond she has to herself. Rarity keeps turning to see Rainbow Dash’s grinning face next to hers.

‘So, what are we doin’?’ the daredevil asks.

‘You are going elsewhere,’ Rarity huffs. ‘Fluttershy and I are supposed to be making sure Stormy’s date with Sweetie Belle goes without a hitch.’

‘Sweet. I’m in.’

‘You most certainly are not! They are my family, and I will be the one to covertly observe and record everything they do.’

‘Uh, Rarity. Which one of us is Loyalty again? They are my friends, too. I ain’t one to want my friends to have a bad date.’

‘That is quite nice of you, Rainbow Dash. We would appreciate your...’

Rainbow Dash gets up and starts climbing the snowbank.

‘Where are you going?’

Dash looks back and smirks. ‘Trust me. Just helping them out. They’ll love it.’

Rainbow Dash hops on the ice and walks across until she catches Stormy.

‘Sup, Stormy. Sup, Sweetie Belle.’

‘Hi, Rainbow Dash!’ Sweetie Belle greets. ‘We’re on a date!’

‘Not so loud...’ Stormy moans.

‘Sweet. Got a real winner here.’ Dash pokes Stormy in the gut.

‘What do you want, Rainbow Dash?’ Stormy grumbles.

‘I just wanted to see if you were up for a little race.’ Dash leans in and whispers, ‘Come on. Show off for the kid. If not for a date, at least as her brother.’

Stormy groans. Another skater skids to a stop next to the group.

‘Did someone say race?’ Flitter asks.

‘Hells, yeah!’ Dash cheers. ‘Stormy just challenged me and said he was gonna whoop me.’

‘Actually, Sweetie and I were just going to...’

‘Please, Stormy!’ Sweetie begs. ‘You are a million times cooler than Rainbow Dash and when you win, that will finally get Scootaloo to shut up about her.’

A snowball sails wide over Sweetie’s head and hits Stormy in the ear. As Stormy wipes the snow from him and looks around, he sees a bit of purple hair duck behind a snowbank. That is followed by a bright flash as Featherweight takes another picture. Stormy holds his head and grumbles to himself about the situation.

‘Fine! I’ll do it!’ Stormy replies to the women surrounding him.

‘All right,’ Dash cheers.

‘Bring it, punk!’ Flitter shouts, puffing out her chest.

Stormy groans as the three racers line up along the shore and go over the conditions for the race. Sweetie skates over to Featherweight. She reaches into a pocket and starts counting a wad of bills.

‘Here is a hundred,’ the girl offers. ‘I know you like taking pictures and stuff. Follow us around and take pictures of us all day. Make them good and romantic like! If I really love ‘em, I’ll give you bonus.’

Featherweight stares at the money. ‘Where did you get all of that?’

‘I stole it from Rarity’s dresser. It was right next to her flashlight.’

The girl snorts and turns away defensively just as another snowball flies wide and hits Featherweight in the face. Sweetie turns back right as the boy brushes himself clean.

‘So? We have deal?’

Featherweight quickly takes the money and puts in a pocket. Rainbow Dash whistles to get Sweetie Belle’s attention. The girl turns and squeals happily.

‘YOU CAN DO IT, STORMY!’ Sweetie Belle shouts at an inhuman volume.

The yell is enough to startle all of the other skaters. Fluttershy loses her balance and falls. Rei drops from a nearby tree. Scootaloo fears she will lose her hearing along with her vision. The racers wince at the yell.

‘You get used to it,’ Stormy mumbles.

Dash shakes her head clear. ‘All right, ready?’ She gets nods. ‘Go!’

Stormy skates as hard as he can. A second later, the two women give chase. Stormy gets a lead, but he stumbles a bit. The women slow to allow him to catch himself, but Rainbow Dash loses traction due to not wearing skates. She grabs Flitter’s coat as she falls, causing both women to hit the ice. Flitter’s compact falls from her pocket and slides across the ice and under Stormy’s skate. The young man slips and slides into a snowbank.

‘Stormy!’ Sweetie shouts as she zips across the ice.

Rainbow Dash pulls her hand out of the way in time to save her fingers as the young girl skates to her date. Sweetie climbs on top of Stormy and gives him a big hug as he sits up.

‘Are you okay?’ Sweetie asks, trying to pull Stormy to her chest.

‘I’m fine. Just tripped a bit. … Are you sitting on my lap?’

Sweetie blushes because of the position she is in. ‘I just wanted to hug you...’

Stormy groans and stands, moving Sweetie aside. He pats the girl on the back. ‘Come on. Let’s go to lunch.’

Stormy and Sweetie Belle walk up to one of the town’s finer cafes. The waiter shows them past other couples enjoying themselves. One of the tables even features a certain farmer taking a break from her duties. Applejack sighs and stares happily across the table at her guest.

‘You know, I am only doing this because I was in the area and needed a boost,’ James says as he sips his coffee. ‘I didn’t know you were into this sort of thing. It is a little... Are you not wearing shoes and is that your foot in my pocket?’

Applejack giggles as her guest growls at her. The waiter shows another couple to their table. Rei sighs as she leans against Inkie’s arm. The taller woman laughs at her girlfriend as they take their seats. The waiter heads back to the entrance to see what couple awaits him next. He groans at the large group of kids waiting for him. They are arguing about who should be seated. While the group fights, the waiter leads Silver Spoon and Rumble away.

‘We should be allowed to get our own table,’ Pipsqueak argues. ‘My parents gave me about twenty quid, and I don’t mind sharing with Dinky.’

Dinky gets a confused look as she tries figuring out how much money Pipsqueak has.

‘Fine. I don’t care what you two do,’ Diamond Tiara scoffs. ‘Scootaloo and I will eat by ourselves.’

‘Wait,’ Featherweight interrupts. ‘Scootaloo said she would dine with me when I asked her back at the pond.’

Scootaloo blinks and squints. ‘Featherweight? I thought Apple Bloom was asking me.’

Apple Bloom looks around. ‘Ah ain’t one fer this hoity toity stuff. Ah’ll get lunch someplace else. Who’s with me?’

Del drops from over the counter where the small girl was scarfing down all of the complimentary mints. She tries talking, but sprays chocolate everywhere. Apple Bloom grabs the young girl’s hand.

‘Ya’ll are comin’ with me. Who else is with me?’

Featherweight fumbles with his camera. ‘Well, uh, Sweetie did pay me to take pictures. I don’t mind sharing a table if Scootaloo doesn’t.’

‘Fine,’ Diamond Tiara groans. ‘You can sit with us.’

Scootaloo turns to Featherweight. ‘That was very nice of you to share, Diamond.’ She turns to Diamond Tiara. ‘I told all of you she was nice.’

The rich girl sighs heavily. ‘If you promise not to tell your mom, I’ll pay for the LASIK.’

‘Nah. I’ll be fine. Just need a good meal in me.’

‘I guess I am paying for that too,’ Diamond Tiara moans as she waves down the waiter.

The waiter shows the last group to a table while Apple Bloom drags Del from the cafe. As they walk out, they pass another group having a conversation.

‘Come on, Rarity,’ Rainbow Dash grumbles. ‘I’m hungry.’

‘It doesn’t make logical sense,’ Rarity argues. ‘If we eat near their next destination, then we’ll be ahead of the game.’

‘But what if somewhere happens in there. We have to make sure, and have a fancy meal while we’re at it.’

‘And the truth comes out...’

‘Hey! Get the stick out of your butt and let’s go in there.’ The daredevil smirks. ‘Unless you are into that.’

Rarity gasps. ‘How dare you imply that I would ever do something as unhygienic and quite uncomfortable as that!’

Rainbow Dash starts laughing. ‘You’ve actually done that?’

Rarity turns bright red. ‘I-if I have, it was an ill-advised venture that ended poorly for all parties involved.’

‘Oh!’ Fluttershy gasps. ‘Was that the week where you were extra careful at the spa?’

Rainbow Dash falls over laughing so hard she starts hiccuping.

‘FLUTTERSHY!’ Rarity screams.

The timid woman squeaks and starts looking for a place to hide. ‘I’msorry! Iforgotweweren’tsupposedtotalkaboutthat!’

Rainbow Dash chokes for air. Rarity starts bringing her rage under control. She is able to take a few calm breaths, but her face is still red.

‘How about we go to the fanciest place near the next destination and I pay for everything? Order as much as you want.’

Rainbow Dash gets her breathing under control. ‘Sounds’ -- gasp -- ‘good to’ -- gasp -- ‘me.’

Fluttershy helps her friend up and the group starts walking away. Rarity lets Fluttershy take the lead as she slips behind Rainbow Dash and locks her friend in a choke hold.

‘And if you ever mention that rumor to anyone as long as you live, there won’t be a safe spot on this planet where you can hide. Understood?’

Rainbow Dash nods as best as she can before she is released to gasp for air once more. Rarity laughs smugly and walks past, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
…

Sweetie smiles and scoots closer to Stormy as they dine. The young man looks down at the girl as he drinks his coffee.

‘Stormy...’

‘Yes?’

The girl sighs and sips her drink a bit. ‘Nothing.’

She leans against her date and continues drinking. She glares across the table for a moment before lighting up for seemingly no reason. On the other side of the room, Featherweight checks the pictures he has just taken before turning back to his table. Diamond Tiara tries to eat calmly despite Scootaloo scarfing down her lunch next to her.

‘This is great!’ Scootaloo says as she eats a small sandwich whole. ‘My mom never takes me places like this.’

‘Please go a bit slower,’ the rich girl requests. ‘There is a reason why your mother hasn’t taken you here.’

‘Are you saying I eat too much?’

‘No, you are perfectly fit’ -- Diamond turns and wipes Scootaloo’s face a bit -- ‘but the portions served here cannot keep up with your active life.’

‘Why did you wipe my face?’

‘I just want you to look your best while we’re here.’

Diamond reaches and again cleans her friend’s face. Scootaloo blushes bright red. There is a click as Featherweight takes a picture of them. Both girls freeze and blush. Featherweight raises his camera again.

‘If you say “now kiss”, I will punch you in the gut,’ Scootaloo threatens.

The boy laughs and lowers his camera.

‘Can I see the picture?’ Diamond ask. She gets handed the camera and gasps. ‘Can I get a copy of this for my room?’

Scootaloo’s blush deepens. ‘Geez. That’s just creepy.’

‘I want something cute of us together. That is cute.’

‘Don’t say that outloud.’

Featherweight fumbles with his camera. ‘You two are together... I thought... I mean...’

Both girls turn bright red. ‘We’re not together!’

‘Oh... Then why are you acting like you are?’

Scootaloo meekly turns away and nibbles her sandwich. Diamond Tiara snarls at the boy sitting across from her. He grins sheepishly.

After lunch, Sweetie Belle and Stormy are in line at the local theater. They are waiting for their chance to buy tickets. Another couple a few places ahead of them step up to the ticket agent.

‘Two please!’

‘Preferably something towards the back, maybe off to the side a bit,’ James adds.

The man immediately screams in pain as his foot is crushed under his date’s heel.

‘You are not sleeping through another play,’ Twilight growls. ‘This is my only free time to see it, and I will not let you ruin it for me.’

James whimpers as he pays the agent. ‘Did Redheart and Pascal enter already? I need her to fix my broken foot...’

The couple limps into the building. Standing down the street, the group of young teens are planning their next move.

‘Ah think Ah’m ready t’ call it a day,’ Apple Bloom moans. ‘If the date goes how Ah think it does, it’s gettin’ a mite borin’ a mite fast. Sides, someone needs t’ get Del home.’

The young girl is looking a tired as she sways in place and yawns.

‘I agree with Apple Bloom,’ Silver Spoon says. ‘We had a lot of fun, but we’re ready to call it quits. Right, Rumble?’

‘Nah. I’m good,’ Rumble replies. ‘If Scootaloo still needs our help, I’m with her.’

‘Rumble...’ the girl growls.

Apple Bloom puts a hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘Let ‘im stay. Ah’m sure Jimmy will let us hang out at his place after we bring Del back. He has everythin’ we could want t’ do there.’

‘Hm. I guess that could be fun.’

‘Um, we’re not really up for a play,’ Dinky says for herself and Pipsqueak. ‘But, if you want to get dinner afterwards, we are totally down for it. Just give us a call.’

Scootaloo salutes. ‘Will do. You guys have fun.’

The group starts splitting. Rumble goes to tell Diamond Tiara how many tickets to get. Apple Bloom takes Scootaloo aside before she leaves.

‘Now, Ah know what y’all did durin’ mah date. Ah got that from talkin’ t’ everyone else,’ Apple Bloom confides. ‘Now, Ah ain’t mad or nothin’, jus...’ She quickly punches her friend in the stomach. Her firm grip on Scootaloo’s shoulder keeps the other girl from falling over. ‘Now we’re even. Jus’ don’ go screwin’ up Sweetie Belle’s date. She’s a mite sensitive, ya know?’

Scootaloo nods and groans.

‘Glad we can see eye t’ eye.’

Apple Bloom escorts her friend to where Diamond Tiara, Rumble and Featherweight are waiting. The girls say their goodbyes and head off. The remaining group mills about while they wait in line. A new group of patrons approach the ticket counter.

‘Three tickets, please,’ Inkie tells the agent.

‘Preferably something towards the back, maybe off to the side a bit,’ Rei adds.

‘Why back there?’ Flitter asks.

‘It is a trick I learned from my dad.’

‘She means that is it a good place to nap,’ Inkie grumbles.

‘OH! I have to remember that next time I have a boring date.’

Inkie sighs and pays the ticket agent.
…

At the intermission, Stormy stands and stretches at his seat.

‘I’ll be right back. I’m going to use the restroom,’ the young man tells Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle nods and stays in her seat as Stormy makes his way to the lobby. As he exits the theater, he reaches into a seat and catches Featherweight by the collar. Stormy drags the young teen aside and props him against the wall. The short, skinny boy looks up at the tall young man.

‘How much did she pay you?’ Stormy asks.

Featherweight looks down. ‘A hundred bucks, sir.’

‘Probably not even her own money...’ Stormy sighs and shakes his head. ‘Let me see them.’

Featherweight hands over his camera. Stormy starts scrolling through the pictures.

‘I hope she paid you up front.’

‘She did. … Are my pictures really that bad?’

‘No, it is just that she has crazy standards, and you weren’t really afforded the best shots.’ He hands the camera back. ‘Just make sure you come by when I am around. She won’t make a fuss around me.’

‘Yes, sir.’

Stormy turns to walk away. ‘Also, stalking is very ungentlemanly behaviour. Just hope Rarity doesn’t catch you or you might join Rei as her only failed students.’

Featherweight looks down and whimpers as Stormy returns to his seat. A person walks out of the washroom playing a game on his mobile. Twilight stomps out of the theater and drags him back to his seat.
…

After the play, Stormy and Sweetie Belle walk out with smiles. The young man puts an arm around his date as they walk away. Sweetie blushes a little because of the kind action. Other groups start exiting too.

‘That was a delightful tale,’ Rarity muses. ‘I really enjoyed the love story.’

‘The swordfight was pretty awesome too,’ Rainbow Dash adds.

‘I found it quite trite,’ Fluttershy grumbles.

‘How is that, dear?’

‘Well, the romance was a poor attempt and massive oversimplification of the class warfare struggles between poorer farming communities like our own and the more urban city environments. The hackneyed juxtaposition in the middle of the play was a poor attempt at mocking the rise of major co-ops such as the one in town that Applejack is a member of. The wedding at the end was hasty and missed the point of both arguments entirely as well as insulting all parties involved, as well as the audience’s intelligence if they believed that drivel!’

Rarity stares at her friend is shock.

Fluttershy squeaks and hides behind her hair. ‘Or maybe something else. I don’t know.’

‘What about the swordfight?’ Dash asks.

‘That was an ass-backwards attempt to argue for higher minimum wage.’

‘Cool! How do you know all this stuff? I hardly ever see you studying like Twilight.’

‘Oh, well, um...’ Fluttershy kicks the ground as they walk away. ‘You remember a while when my mom came to visit and I basically told her to go fornicate herself then expire?’ Her friends nod. ‘Well, in addition to pushing me to follow in her footsteps, she also pushed me academically. I developed a near-perfect memory due to the intense training I had to do to meet my mother’s standards. It is not as good as Ms Lyra’s... but it is still pretty good.’

‘Pretty amazing, is more like it! You’re too awesome, Fluttershy,’ Dash encourages.

Her friend just blushes and smiles.

‘Now that the lesson is over, how about some dinner?’ Rarity suggests. ‘My treat.’

‘Hells, yeah!’ Dash cheers as they walk away.

As the adults leave, the young teens come out of the theater. Rumble mumbles his goodbyes and heads off. The remaining three kids mill about.

‘Well, uh, Sweetie is paying me...’ Featherweight mumbles.

‘Go on ahead. We don’t mind,’ Diamond Tiara replies.

Featherweight nods and walks away. The two girls do not know what to say next.

‘So, uh...’ Diamond mutters.

‘Yeah...’ Scootaloo replies. ‘Do we want to meet up with Dinky and Pipsqueak? I could give them a call.’

‘I guess. I mean, unless you want to do something.’

Scootaloo blushes. ‘Like what? Ya mean like a date?’

Diamond bites her lip. ‘Well, maybe. Just dinner. As friends.’

‘Right. As friends.’

‘Would you want to...’

‘Well, we used to kiss all the time...’

‘Yeah, but, well... Would you really want to be seen with a weirdo like me? I mean, what about...’

Diamond shakes her head. ‘The only person I am worried about finding out is my dad. You know how I was raised.’

Scootaloo touches her face, thinking about how her dad used to hit her. ‘Yeah... But your dad is pretty chill. I mean, for being someone like that.’

Diamond smiles. ‘How about we start with just dinner with our friends? Then we can see if we want to go from there.’

The girl holds out her hand. Scootaloo takes it, and they smile at each other. After a second, she pulls Diamond in and quickly kisses her.

‘I was so jealous of everyone at the sleepover,’ Scootaloo says.

‘I was stupid not to challenge you,’ Diamond replies. ‘We could have shown everyone what a real kiss was like.’ She leans in and kisses Scootaloo again.

Scootaloo backs away. ‘Yeah, but you would have tasted like old man lips. It would have been gross.’

Diamond smirks. ‘You saw how he reacted when I tried kissing him the way you taught me.’

‘That was funny. Maybe we can practice more of that later.’

The two girls kiss again and walk away together, hand in hand. Scootaloo gets out her mobile to call Dinky.

Stormy and Sweetie examine their menus at the fancy restaurant Sweetie picked out for them. A waiter escorts another couple past the date. Selene coos as she leans against her date.

‘This date night shall last forever,’ Selene jokes.

James groans. ‘That line never gets old...’

Stormy checks his mobile after getting a message. ‘Looks like Rarity is out with friends. We’ll have to be quiet when we get back.’

‘What if she gets back after us?’

‘By now, I am guessing she is three drinks in. She’ll be back first. Maybe with a guest.’

Sweetie sighs and looks at her menu. ‘Why does she get to have guests over this late and I don’t?’

‘We’ll tell you when you are older.’

‘Why does everyone keep telling me that?’

‘We’ll tell you when you are older.’

‘But I am almost a teen. You can tell me anything.’

‘Says the girl who runs screaming when I come out of the shower, even when I’m wearing a towel or dressed.’

‘Well, uh, that’s different.’

Stormy laughs. ‘If you really insist, I’ll have Rei explain it to you again.’

Sweetie squeaks and hides behind her menu. Stormy laughs and looks for a waiter.

Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy sit around a table. In front of Rarity and Rainbow Dash are several empty drink glasses around their meals. Fluttershy quietly eats her meal and sips water while her friends chat.

‘I don’t know what I was worried about,’ Rarity states. ‘Sweetie’s date turned out fine. Stormy was a perfect gentleman, just like I taught him.’ She hiccups and grins evilly. ‘If he weren’t like a brother to me, I’d have him over this table for a special lesson...’

‘See! Ya didn’t have nothing to worry about,’ Dash agrees. ‘We mighta had a few problems along the way, but it didn’t take away from their fun times.’ She throws back a drink and only gets drops. ‘Man, I’m wasted.’

‘Oh, I think you looks fine. Maybe a little rough around the edges, but you look great.’

‘You really think so? You know the most about that sorta stuff.’

‘Absolutely, darling. If you want, I can take a closer look.’

Fluttershy finishes her meal and wipes her mouth. ‘Thank you for taking us out. I really appreciate it, Rar...it...y...’

Fluttershy stares at her friends then moans. Rainbow Dash has switched seats so she can sit on Rarity’s lap while the two drunk women make out. Fluttershy facepalms and shakes her head while she considers leaving her friends and going home.

At a diner, Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara have met up with Dinky and Pipsqueak again. The four friends are telling stories and laughing together as they eat. Scootaloo sets her hand down on the booth she and Diamond occupy. The other girl puts her hand down on top of her friend’s hand. The two girls look at each other and smile. They immediately turn to their friends and threaten them not to tell.

Back at Inkie’s apartment, the three women are sitting on the couch, eating pizza. Rei is laying across both her friend’s laps.

‘This was a great day,’ Rei comments.

‘It really was,’ Inkie agrees. ‘And despite your best intentions, Stormy’s date went off without a hitch.’

Flitter giggles. ‘Do you want to tell her or shall I?’

‘Honestly, Flitter-chan just wanted a day out with friends. We only told you we were following Stormy so you would think we were up to no good.’

‘So you tricked your girlfriend so you could have fun with your work friend.’

‘Uh huh.’

‘Hmm...’ Inkie looks at Flitter. ‘There can be only one punishment.’

‘Agreed.’

‘Tickling!’

‘Leg lock!’

Inkie stares at Flitter in shock.

‘Uh, foot tickling!’

Rei squeals in delight and terror as she friends start tickling her.

‘Think we can tickle she until she pees herself?’ Flitter asks.

‘If she does, you’re buying me a new couch.’

After getting home, Stormy checks all of the doors to makes sure Rarity locked them. Sweetie Belle waits by the stairs for her date to return. The house secure, Stormy rejoins Sweetie. The young man leans down and hugs the girl.

‘I had a wonderful day. Thank you for asking me,’ Stormy says.

Sweetie wraps her arms around Stormy as best she can. ‘I was lucky to have you come out with me.’

‘I guess there is just one last thing to do.’

Sweetie nods and leans up with puckered lips.

‘Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself there?’

‘How so?’ Sweetie complains. ‘I kissed almost everyone at the sleepover.’

‘Yeah, but none of them could be considered your brother.’

‘Listen, it is not like I am asking to find out what comes after kissing. What is the harm of one little kiss?’

Stormy sighs. ‘Okay. For my lovely little date and my beautiful little sister.’

Sweetie leans up again. Stormy leans down and gives her a kiss.

The young girl leans back down and smiles. ‘Thank you, Stormy. I love you.’

‘I love you too, Sweetie.’

Sweetie gives Stormy a quick kiss on the cheek before running upstairs. Stormy sighs, then laughs, then goes to get ready for bed.
…

Stormy yawns as his head hits pillow. He briefly turns on his mobile and smiles at a photo of Trixie before he closes his eyes. After a happy sigh, there is a knock on the door.

‘Shouldn’t you be in bed?’ Stormy grumbles.

Sweetie Belle peeks in. ‘Can I come in?’

‘What is it?’

‘C-can I stay with you tonight?’

‘Go to bed, Sweetie Belle.’

‘Stormy! Please! I know that couples stay together after a date. I’ve seen guys stay with Rarity, and I know you stay with Trixie when she is in town. … You let Lemon sleep with you! She’s your sister!’

Stormy groans. He pulls back the sheets a bit. ‘At least you don’t know what comes after kissing...’ he grumbles to himself.

Sweetie smiles and climbs into bed. She cuddles up extra close to Stormy. The young man sighs and tries falling asleep.

‘Stormy... I’m sorry if I am annoying sometimes.’

‘It is okay, Sweetie. I know you mean well.’ He rolls over and kisses the back of Sweetie’s head. ‘Hey, a few times today, you seemed like you wanted to tell me something. We’re pretty alone now. What was on your mind?’

‘Actually...’ Sweetie squirms a little. ‘I said it earlier. I think you didn’t think much of it, but I do love you, Stormy.’

‘I love you too. You’re like a little sister to me.’

‘No... I really mean it.’

Stormy sighs. ‘I think you are getting familial love confused with something more because we are not really related. We’re a family, Sweetie Belle. We can’t be anything more than that.’

‘I was hoping... I mean, I am not as dumb as I seem. I know what comes after kissing... What is it that Mr Wanderer says?’

Stormy hugs his sister and shakes his head. ‘No, it is not. Hopefully not for a long time. And especially not with me.’

Sweetie starts crying. ‘I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. You probably think I am a sick pervert. … You’re probably right...’

‘Sweetie, you are still growing up and figuring yourself out. You have your lovely sister and a great mother who will help you understand what you are feeling. Failing that, I can always ask Rei for you.’

‘Why do you always recommend her?’

‘Because until I got up close and personal with Trixie, Rei was more than willing to give me anatomy lessons. … She still is...’

‘She’s weird. That whole household is weird.’

‘Yeah, but they are also great.’

Sweetie sighs. ‘I love you, Stormy.’

‘I love you, Sweetie. Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight.’

The siblings cuddle together and fall asleep.

Lyra drinks some coffee and plucks her lyre while she watches responses come in to her latest story. One catches her eye.

To: Harpflank
From: ParkerReilly

Ms Lyra. I know it is you who are writing these stories. … Can you teach me how? Thanks.

PS: I am certain you have figured out who this is by now.

Lyra sips her coffee a few more times. A smile spreads across her lips as she uses her magic to type a reply.

Bonus Scene

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Sweetie Belle's first date. Sweetie reveals some confusing feelings directed towards Stormy. Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara rekindle their relationship. Somepony wants to follow in Lyra's hoofsteps...

Current Stormy Love Triangle: Trixie vs? Sweetie Belle

Starlight Crusader

Main Characters: Apple Bloom, Starlight Clarke
Cameos: Applejack, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Nurse Redheart
Original Start Date: September 15, 2012

On a lazy day in Ponyville, ponies are going about their business in town without a care in the world. Out at Sweet Apple Acres, the Apple family takes the day to clean up around the farm. Apple Bloom is out at the Crusader Clubhouse, getting it ready for the next time the Cutie Mark Crusaders try for their cutie marks. She hums to herself while she dusts using her tail and a duster in her mouth. She sets down the duster and trots to the telescope. The filly is adjusting the settings when a loud explosion rocks the clubhouse. Apple Bloom barely catches the telescope before it falls over.

The scared filly gallops out of the clubhouse and looks around. A small wisp of smoke rises from the forest. Apple Bloom gallops towards it as fast as she can. After a few hundred meters, she reaches the edge of a fresh crater. The earth looks like it was forced outward from a central point instead of dislocated from an impact. Apple Bloom peers over the rim, expecting to see a meteor. Instead she sees a sky blue unicorn colt. His coat and messy green mane are covered in soot. The investigating filly can barely make out a star-shaped cutie mark on the colt’s soot-covered flank. She slides down the crater to get a better look.

‘Are y’all okay?’ Apple Bloom asks.

The colt turns on shaky hooves and smiles at the filly. ‘One sec.’ There is a pop above the colt and a cracked pair of glasses drop out of the sky and land on his face. ‘There we go.’

The colt laughs and falls over. Apple Bloom rushes to help him. She brushes away more soot in an attempt to better identify the mysterious colt, revealing several purple stars as his cutie mark. Not recognizing the mark, the filly sighs, lifts the colt onto her back and carries him to the clubhouse.

The first thing the colt sees when he wakes is a yellow and red blur hovering over his face. He reaches for his glasses, but they are not there.

‘Whoa there, partner,’ Apple Bloom cautions. ‘Y’all were out fer a while now. Ya gotta give it a moment befer ya try anythin’.’

‘Unless you want to my face pressed against yours so I can actually see you, I’m going to need my glasses.’

Apple Bloom groans and picks up the glasses. ‘They’re pretty wrecked. Ah don’ think they’ll be much use.’

The colt squints and levitates the glasses. ‘I used to bust them all the time. That is why mom taught me this spell first.’ His horn gets a slight purple glow, and the glasses mends itself. He dons them and adjusts them to comfortable position. ‘That’s better.’ He looks around the room and clearly sees Apple Bloom for the first time. A wide grin forms. ‘That is much better.’

The filly blushes and looks away. ‘Thanks... Uh, Ah don’ recognize ya from around town. Are ya new here?’

‘In a sense,’ the colt replies, ‘I was just popping by after learning a new spell. I guess it got away from me a bit.’ He sighs, ‘Mom warned me it was a tough one to master...’

‘Got away a bit? Shoot. The crater was twice the size of mah big brother!’

The colt grimaces. ‘I assume that is really big. You’ll have to show me once the room stops spinning.’ He instantly collapses back to the floor and extends a hoof. ‘By the way, it is great to meet you, cutie.’

Apple Bloom blushes again. She shakes the hoof. ‘Name’s Apple Bloom.’

‘A cute name for a cute filly. I’m Starlight S... uh, Clarke! Yeah! Starlight Clarke!’

‘Clarke? That’s an odd name.’

‘Better than Gorthax... just don’t tell any Gorthaxes that to their face. They don’t like it very much.’

‘Anypony ever tell ya yer very odd?’

Starlight smirks. ‘They never really stop.’

‘Anyway, who are yer parents? Ah can give ‘em a call and let ‘em know yer okay.’

‘What year is it? Where am I?’ Before Apple Bloom can answer, Starlight holds up a hoof. ‘Never mind. I’ve always wanted to try this.’ He sniffs the air a bit and gets a shocked expression. ‘Actually, I’m here a little earlier than I should be. My parents aren’t around yet.’

‘What does that mean? Ya moved here befer they did?’

‘More or less... Hey! Do you have any snacks? I am so hungry I could eat a Fronarian Water Mule!’ He covers his mouth and whispers, ‘Don’t worry. That is just a fancy name for a sentient form of lily that sheds petals for other creatures to eat. Very tasty, but needs a pinch of salt.’

‘Ya sound like Jimmy when ya say weird things like that,’ Apple Bloom laughs as shes juice boxes from the clubhouse cooler.

Starlight tilts his head as he watches his new friend get their drinks. ‘I like this angle.’

Apple Bloom gives a loud squeak as she spins around. Her face matches her mane out of embarrassment and anger. Starlight’s juice box hits him in the muzzle with precision aim. He laughs as he uses his magic to serve his drink.

The two foals snack in silence. Apple Bloom tries to figure out the colt in front of her. Starlight rolls to his stomach to watch the filly. He gives a big smile, knowing she is looking.

‘What are ya grinnin’ ‘bout?’

‘Sorry. Just not used to a cute filly giving me this much attention.’

Apple Bloom blushes. ‘Shut up!’

Starlight laughs. ‘I love it when your cheeks match your mane. Makes ya extra cute.’

The filly’s blush deepens. ‘Whatever. When are ya getting back t’ yer place anyway?’

‘Trying to get rid of me so soon?’ The colt fakes a frown then laughs. ‘I’ll try heading out once my magic returns... and I can stand. I doubt you want to carry me everywhere. Not that I wouldn’t enjoy the ride.’

The filly growls with rage, stomps across the room and slaps the colt. ‘Pervert! Didn’ yer parents teach ya any manners?’

‘They did, but I just seem to lose all control when I am around you. I could roll over again and show you what I really think of you.’

‘O’ all the disgustin’...’ Apple Bloom turns and stomps away.

‘What? No chance for a little Florence Nightingale effect?’

‘Ah don’ know why Ah even helped ya in the first place!’

‘Winning smile? Or was it because you are the type of pony that can’t stand to see another pony in a bad situation? You feel compassion even for your rivals. Or, if I can have one last guess, love at first sight?’

Apple Bloom stares back blankly. ‘The second one. Nothin’ else. Now, if ya’ll excuse me, Ah’m gonna get mah sister t’ take ya back t’ yer home.’

‘Wait! You can’t tell anypony I’m here!’

The filly groans and rolls her eyes. ‘Why do the runaways always come here?’

‘I’m not running. It is just that nopony can know I am here. Not yet. A lot of things, some good, some bad, mostly crazy and overall disastrous would happen if anypony knew I was here.’

‘Y’all don’ have one of them tiny cameras in yer glasses and are filmin’ this fer a stupid reality show are ya?’

‘Apple Bloom. Look into my eyes. I am telling the truth. Please. Just let me stay hidden here until I can leave.’

Apple Bloom stares at the colt laying on the ground. He stares back and uses his magic to adjust his glasses. The filly sighs.

‘Fine. Ah’ll let ya stay. Just give me a sec t’ get ya some supplies. Ah got school in the mornin’ so yer gonna be on yer own.’

‘Thanks. You’re the sweetest. That’s why I married you.’

Apple Bloom rolls her eyes again and trots out of the clubhouse. Starlight laughs to himself. He looks around and spots Apple Bloom’s abandoned juice box. He levitates it over and sighs as he gets an indirect kiss from his caretaker.

At the farmhouse, Apple Bloom tosses snacks and drinks into a saddlebag already half-full of apples. Applejack trots into the room to see what her sister is doing.

‘What in the hay is goin’ on here?’ the older sister asks.

Apple Bloom freezes and turns to face her sister. ‘Oh, uh, Jimmy said there was gonna be a fancy planetary alignment t’night. Since we don’ have a meetin, Ah thought Ah’d watch from the clubhouse.’

Applejack nods. ‘Sounds fun. Mind if Ah tag along? Ah’ve been meanin’ t’ check out one o' them astronomy thin’s fer a while now.’

‘Well, uh, this ain’t really somethin’ spectacular t’ see fer a first time. Maybe ya can coordinate with Prin-, I mean, Selene, and she can bring yer coltfriend with her t’ the next club meetin’. Ah hear it is a good place t’ go fer dates...’

Applejack sighs. ‘Fine. If ya don’ want yer big sis t’ spend the night with ya, ya jus’ have t’ say so.’ She trots over and ruffles her sister’s mane. ‘Though ya did give me a good idea fer a date. Yer gonna make some colt real happy some day.’

‘If Ah don’ kill him first...’ Apple Bloom groans.

‘What?’

‘Nothin’!’

The filly lifts her saddlebag, straining under the weight and gallops away as fast as she can.

Starlight watches as Apple Bloom unpacks her saddlebag. She sets out each of the items in an ordered fashion.

‘I know one a day keeps the doctor away,’ the colt comments, staring at the pile of apples, ‘but did you have to bring enough to scare away the whole Equestrian Medical Association.’

‘We’re apple farmers. We have lots o’ apples,’ the annoyed filly moans.

‘Well, I don’t see an apple on your butt. And believe me, I’ve checked. Often. Just now.’

Apple Bloom shoves an apple in the colt’s mouth. ‘Listen, Ah don’ care where yer from but if ya want t’ stay in mah clubhouse and get mah help, yer going t’ treat me with some respect! If Ah hear one more perverted comment from ya, Ah’m throwin’ ya out and leavin’ timberwolf bait all around ya. Got it?’

Starlight eats the apple. ‘Your eyes are so beautiful.’ A hoof stomps beside his head. ‘I got it! I got it! Come on. I was just having some fun with ya.’ He looks into Apple Bloom’s eyes and smiles. ‘I really mean it about your eyes.’

The filly blushes and backs away, not knowing how to react. She trots over to the telescope and sits down. ‘Listen, Ah told mah sis that Ah was gonna be watchin’ some alignment t’night, so Ah’ll keep ya company. Jus’ be quiet when it starts so Ah can enjoy it in peace.’

‘I know a bit of astronomy. Mind if I help?’

‘Only if ya do it silently.’

‘Deal. I won’t speak unless spoken to once the alignment starts.’ Starlight sniffs the air. ‘So... since it is a few hours until sundown, what do you want to do until then?’

‘Ah know this great game from mah friend Fluttershy. It is called “Shh!”. Ah bet yer great at it.’

Starlight stares at Apple Bloom blankly. ‘I lose! Do you have a copy of Cards Against Ponies?’

The beleaguered filly groans and wishes for the colt’s speedy recovery.

With a bit of help, Starlight has moved close to the telescope so he can observe the alignment. He leans back from the eyepiece, turns to Apple Bloom and makes a complex series of gestures with his forelegs.

‘What in the hay are ya doin’? Jus’ talk normal-like.’

‘Sorry. You did tell me not to say anything once the alignment began.’

Apple Bloom groans, ‘What did Ah say ‘bout actin’ weird?’

‘Nothing about acting weird. Only about acting perverted, which is very subjective based on the morality of the culture in question.’ Before the filly can argue, Starlight continues, ‘And as I was trying to say, it is really magnificent how the light reflecting off of three large bodies like those can create such a beautiful glow. Almost as beautiful as you. What do you think?’

Apple Bloom blushes. ‘Ah don’ know ‘bout that. Ah was thinkin’ that having them aligned like that would be perfect fer some gravitational lensin’ effects.’

‘I take it you like science.’

The filly yawns and looks through the eyepiece. ‘Ah wouldn’ be up like this, plannin’ on nappin’ during lunch tomorrow if Ah didn’.’

‘What’s your favorite field, if you don’t mind me asking?’

Apple Bloom sits back and thinks. ‘Ah don’ know. It is all pretty interestin’. Ah guess astronomy since Ah get t’ hang out with Jimmy a lot.’

‘I should have guessed since you like Starlight so much. Who is this “Jimmy”? Is he your coltfriend? Should I be jealous?’

The filly blushes. ‘He ain’t nothin’ like that! He’s jus’ like a big brother that’s all. Ah jus’ wish Ah were a little older. Ah wouldn’ be as wishy-washy as mah sister and jus’ go fer it!’

‘But if you were older, we wouldn’t be the perfect couple we are now.’

‘Shush you.’ Apple Bloom yawns. ‘Ah’m gettin’ beat. Ah got mah sleepin’ bag. Do ya need any help with yer blanket?’

‘I’ll be fine. I’ll be up for a bit more. You get some rest. I promise not to do anything funny.’ Starlight mimes crossing his heart, flapping his forelegs and sticking something in his face.

‘If ya promise...’ the tired filly yawns.

Apple Bloom trots to where she has a sleeping bag set up. She curls up and goes to sleep. Starlight smiles and watches the filly for a moment. He stands and stretches his sore legs. He trots outside and looks into the sky. He looks back down at the lights of Ponyville in the distance. Two distinct lights are on at this time of night. He smiles, trots back inside gives Apple Bloom a quick nuzzle then goes to bed.

Apple Bloom yawns as she trots out of the schoolhouse at the end of the day. Even with napping during lunch and recess, she is still tired. She joins her friends, who were among the first out of the building.

‘Are you ready to try for our cutie marks again?’ Scootaloo asks, standing on her scooter, flapping her wings in anticipation of adventure.

‘Y’all go on without me. Ah’m still beat from stayin’ up.’

‘Well, we don’t have to do something too involved,’ Sweetie Belle offers. ‘We can always do something around the clubhouse.’

‘NO!’

The two other ponies stare at Apple Bloom in shock.

‘Ah mean... Ah was out there last night with the astronomy thin’...’

‘Boring!’ Scootaloo comments.

‘...and Ah was noticin’ some loose boards. Ah wanna fix them up befer y’all come over again. Don’ want us t’ fall through the floor... again.’

‘I guess that make sense,’ Sweetie Belle agrees.

‘Sides, if ya need a third pony fer what y’all were plannin’, Ah’m sure Del wouldn’ mind helping out.’

Hearing her name, the pegasus darts over. ‘I heard my name. I would enjoy sending the day with Cutie Belle’s Crusaders.’

‘Told you that’s a good name,’ the unicorn filly taunts.

‘Whatever,’ Scootaloo groans. ‘Just hop in.’ The other ponies climb in the wagon attached to the scooter. ‘Give us a call if you need help, AB.’

‘Will do!’

Scootaloo flaps her wings extra hard, and the three ponies ride away. Apple Bloom sighs and trots down the road.

Apple Bloom looks into the clubhouse. The building is surprisingly quiet when she takes into account the pony who should be occupying it.

‘Y’all in here?’

‘I thought I said to tell nopony,’ an angry voice growls.

‘It’s okay. She won’t tell. She’s who Jimmy goes t’ when we need a covert doctor.’

‘I keep telling you that I am a nurse, not a doctor,’ Nurse Redheart groans as she steps into the clubhouse.

‘She won’t tell?’ Starlight asks, poking his head from a hole in the ceiling.

‘How in the hay did ya get up there?’ Apple Bloom asks.

‘Just thought of you and my heart soared. Guess the rest of the body went with it.’

The filly blushes, groans and looks away.

Redhearts helps Starlight to the ground. ‘Miss Apple Bloom, please wait outside. We don’t want you observing a private examination.’

‘Gladly,’ the filly snorts as she trots out.

The nurse hold up a foreleg. A small device is attached to it. The device emits a beam that covers Starlight. She reads its display and gasps.

‘It detected my genetic makeup, right?’ the colt asks.

‘Don’t worry. I am deleting it now,’ the nurse replies, tapping the display. ‘I’ll be the only one to know, for now.’

‘Thank you. I trust you. Anypony Apple Bloom trusts...’

‘Tut, tut. We’re not done yet.’ Redheart taps the device a couple more times. ‘Vitals seem normal. Your magic readings are way low, even for a colt your age. You probably shouldn’t be using it so much while you are recharging.’

Starlight smirks. ‘Have to show off for her somehow.’

‘Definitely those genes in you,’ the nurse grumbles as she taps the device. ‘Anyway, physically, you are fine but magically, you need to rest more and eat more magically-stimulating foods.’

‘Yeah, cause apples. Woo.’

Redheart sighs. ‘I’ll drop off some food that will help on my way home from the hospital. Just promise me not to use your magic before then.’

‘You know my parents, sensei. Would I do something stupid?’

‘Yes,’ the mare plainly states as she trots out of the clubhouse.

‘How’d it go?’ Apple Bloom asks as she returns.

‘Healthy as a horse,’ the colt replies. ‘Perfectly fit in more ways than one, too.’

The filly glares. ‘What did Ah tell ya ‘bout that?’

‘Sorry,’ Starlight laughs. ‘She said my magic is pretty drained. Just gotta take it easy for a bit before I can leave.’

‘Anything Ah can do t’ get ya outa here sooner?’

‘A kiss might work.’

‘Ah think ya can stay a bit longer.’

Starlight laughs and gets a couple of drinks from the supplies. When he turns back, he sees the filly trying to shuffle a large deck of cards.

‘What’s this?’ the colt asks.

Apple Bloom blushes. ‘Well, ya said ya wanted t’ play Cards last night. Ah borrowed this from Jimmy. We can play with two or three randoms t’ even thin’s out a bit.’

‘Sounds fine. Here. Let me help.’ Starlight takes the cards with his magic and starts shuffling them. ‘So, how do you know the nurse won’t tell?’

Apple Bloom looks away. ‘A while ago, mah family was goin’ out o’ town t’ somethin’ Ah didn’ want t’ go t’. AJ said it was okay fer me t’ stay with Jimmy while they were outa town. Ah was so excited t’ be staying with ‘im that Ah tripped when Ah was gallopin’ up the stairs t’ Jimmy’s house. Ah broke mah leg, but Jimmy and the nurse were able t’ get me fixed up. It didn’ even hurt by the time AJ returned. Ah don’ think they told her...’

‘It is good having somepony you can trust like that.’

‘Yeah... Ah wish Ah were older...’

‘If you were older, our age difference would be huge! It would make our relationship even more awkward than it is.’

‘We don’ have a relationship.’

‘And that is what makes it so awkward.’

Apple Bloom groans and shakes her head. ‘Jus’ deal the cards.’

Starlight laughs and starts dealing the cards.

After an embarrassing game of Cards Against Ponies, which Apple Bloom easily won, the two foals are having a small snack as the afternoon wanes into evening. The young filly watches the young unicorn as he happily eats his small meal. Starlight tosses an apple into the air, slices it with his horn on the way down and catches the pieces with his magic. He smiles as he offers one to Apple Bloom.

‘Here ya go, cutie.’

‘Ah thought Ah asked ya t’ stop callin’ me that?’

‘Among other things, yes, but I’m willing to be punished for this one since it is true.’

‘Ya know Am only helpin’ ya ‘cause ya were injured, right?’

‘Keep telling yourself that.’ Starlight looks out the window. ‘Oh! Look at the time. You should be getting home.’

Apple Bloom looks. ‘What do ya mean? Yer actually not wanting me around now?’

‘I would love to stay by your side forever but if you spend too much time out here, don’t you think your family will get suspicious?’

‘Ah guess... Will ya be okay without me?’

Starlight poses dramatically. ‘The flame of our love will carry me through the night.’

‘Y’all were dropped on the head a lot as a baby, weren’t ya?’Apple Bloom asks as she packs her bag.

Starlight laughs and smiles. Apple Bloom sighs and trots outside.

‘I’ll miss you!’ Starlight calls from a window.

‘That’ll make one o’ us!’ the filly calls back.

After spending the evening with her family, Apple Bloom is happy to back in her own bed. It is a lot more comfortable than sleeping on the hard floor of the clubhouse. She sighs contentedly as she settles down into a fluffy pillow and pulls her blankets up high. The filly looks out her window at the moon. She smiles as the starlight illuminates her bedroom. The starlight...

The little filly pulls her blankets over her head and tries not to think about the colt staying in her clubhouse. The thoughts get the better of her, and she gets out of bed. She sneaks past her sister’s room and out of the house. She gallops a path she has galloped many times before reaching the clubhouse. Just like after school, the clubhouse is unusually quiet while Starlight sleeps. The filly climbs the ladder and looks in.

Starlight sleeps in Apple Bloom’s sleeping bag, his glasses resting next to him. The entering filly groans as she sees the potential drool stain forming under the sleeping colt. Apple Bloom sighs turning it into a yawn as her sleepiness takes over. She finds one of the spare blankets she left and curls up herself. Starlight’s horn glows, and the cushion he was using as a pillow is levitated under the sleeping filly. Starlight smiles as he settles in the sleeping bag.

Not having found Apple Bloom in her room, Applejack makes her way to the Crusader Clubhouse to find her sister. The filly has been acting strange recently, and Applejack is going to get to the bottom of it.

As the mare nears the clubhouse, she hears a distinctive sound from inside. When she gets closer, she recognizes it as clopping hooves. Applejack grits her teeth and prepares to give her sister one heck of a talking to. Once she is at the base of the tree, she can hear her sister’s voice.

‘Come on. Almost. Jus’... gotta.’

Apple Bloom lets out a primal scream. Applejack shudders and quietly trots up the ladder to the door. She peeks in to see Apple Bloom laying on the ground. The filly is covered in sweat and is panting. A sky blue unicorn colt collapses next to her. Applejack does her best to hold back a scream.

‘One more time?’ the colt asks.

‘Maybe jus’ one more time,’ Apple Bloom pants. ‘Yer too good. Ah’m startin’ t’ get sore.’

Applejack starts stepping through the door but stops her movement when the two foals sit up. They start slowly clapping their hooves and reaching across to clap each other’s hoof. After the first cross, they pick up speed. The frustration starts to show on Apple Bloom’s face. Applejack looks at the colt grin. He has not even broken a sweat.

‘Come on. Come on,’ Apple Bloom growls. ‘Gotta go harder... Faster... Ah’m almost...’

The filly’s hooves get tangled, and she screams again. Applejack laughs to herself as she backs away from the clubhouse. She can hear her sister rolling around the floor as she tantrums. She sighs in relief that Apple Bloom is just playing with a friend.

Inside the clubhouse, Starlight laughs and lays down next to the raging Apple Bloom.

‘Was it good for you, too?’ the colt taunts.

‘Shut up,’ Apple Bloom growls as she ends her rolling next to Starlight.

The colt smiles and laughs. The filly laughs as well. They sigh. Apple Bloom closes her eyes and leans towards Starlight. He leans towards her and puckers his lips. The filly moves right past his muzzle and nuzzles his cheek. He sighs and returns the nuzzle. Apple Bloom catches the action and pushes the colt away.

‘What was that fer, ya pervert?’

‘I was just returning the affection,’ Starlight defends.

‘That was jus’ a moment of weakness! It ain’t like Ah like ya or nothin’!’

‘You are really cute when you’re embarrassed.’

‘Shut up.’

Starlight laughs again. ‘You thirsty?’ he asks while levitating a couple drinks.

‘Ah could use somethin’, yes.’

The unicorn serves their drinks. Apple Bloom sighs while she drinks. She looks over at her guest. He smiles at her attention.

‘Ah take it ya are feel better.’

‘I’m definitely not worse.’

‘Ya think ya’ll be leavin’ soon?’

‘Missing me already?’

‘Ah just wanna know when Ah’ll get mah clubhouse back.’

‘Don’t worry. My magic should be up to full power soon. I’ll be trying the spell later tonight.’

‘Oh. Okay...’

‘Are you okay? We’ll have all day together. Besides, I’ll be back again someday.’

‘Ya better! Ya have t’ pay me back fer all the food and time Ah wasted on ya.’

‘I promise to pay you back, with interest too.’

‘Good.’ Apple Bloom nods at the agreement. ‘So, what do ya wanna do today?’

‘Well, since I have you prone on the ground already...’

‘If yer thinkin’ what yer implyin’ what yer thinkin’, soon Ah won’ be the only filly in the room.’

Starlight laughs. ‘No. We’re too young for that, silly.’ He pulls Apple Bloom’s pack to them and gets out a book and paper. ‘I saw your textbook in here when you arrived. I want my future wife to get the most out her education. I mean, you were almost tardy yesterday. I can’t think of anything worse than that.’

‘Ugh. Now ya sound like Twilight,’ Apple Bloom moans as she gathers her supplies. ‘Jus’ glad ya don’ have a creepy doll t’ chase me with.’

‘Sorry, left that at home,’ Starlight laughs. He settles next to Apple Bloom to watch her work.

Hours later, the two foals are out exploring the forest as the sun is going down. They are having fun chasing each other through the trees. Apple Bloom rounds a large tree and skids to a stop at the edge of the crater where she found Starlight. The colt calmly trots up beside her.

‘I guess it is about time,’ Starlight sighs.

‘Does it have t’ be? Ya can stay longer.’

‘The longer I stay, the more likely somepony will discover me. I have to go.’

‘Dang. Ah was actually enjoyin’ having ya around.’

Starlight smiles. ‘You could have said that days ago.’

Apple Bloom blushes and kicks the ground a bit. Starlight slides down the crater. His horn starts glowing. Particles of energy materialize out of the air and flow into the colt. His body starts glowing.

‘I can use the residual energy to help with my spell.’

Apple Bloom slides down the crater and gives him a hug. ‘I’ll miss ya.’

‘I’m sorry that I have to leave. I was having a great time.’

‘Jus’ be safe, okay? … And learn some manners!’

Starlight laughs. ‘I’ll try. … Hey, before I go, I want to give you something. Something wonderful’

The filly blushes. ‘What?’

‘Close your eyes and find out.’

Apple Bloom close her eyes. Starlight leans forward and kisses her. The colt glows with magical energy and disappears. The filly stands there for a moment before opening her eyes.

‘Yer right. That was the most wonderful thing Ah’ve felt in mah life.’ She takes a deep breath. ‘And t’ be honest, the answer to all three of yer questions were “yes”.’ She looks into the night sky. ‘Ah love ya, Starlight.’

Apple Bloom takes a deep breath and stares at the stars. Slowly, a piece of paper wafts out of the sky and lands in front of her. She picks it up.

I love you, too. -SCS. PS: Will you marry me?

Apple Bloom smiles and holds the note close. She wipes her tears, smiles and stares into the sky again.

Author's Note

Personally, I think it should be pretty obvious who Starlight is. If you figure it out, his chronicles will be covered in the sequels to this story. Hope you stick around for those too ^_^

TWP Timeline: First appearance of Starlight.

Story Timeline: Apple Bloom gets her first kiss. Starlight proposes to Apple Bloom.

The Nomadic Programmer Quests

Characters (Human): TWP, Dusk Shine, Shinji, Hamilton, Bubble Berry, Rainbow Blitz, Artemus/Darien, Butterscotch
Characters (Pony): Twilight, Lyra, Rainbow Dash, TWP
Original Start Date: January 8, 2012

Dusk Shine rolls over in his bed. The morning sun lights his room in the library. He groans and checks his mobile. Almost time to get up. He sighs and looks over at his closet. The outfit he picked out special for today hangs ready to wear. He checks his mobile again and sits up.

‘Okay. Let’s do this.’

Dusk gets out of bed and starts getting dressed.

Sally eats breakfast in her home above The Power Block. Her adopted son Shinji scarfs down a large bowl of cereal. Beside him, Hamilton finishes off a large glass of juice before setting it down and gasping for air.

Sally giggles. ‘So, what do you have planned for today?’

‘Applebuck’s big brother is sick,’ Hamilton replies. ‘He asked Scooteroll, Silver Bell and me to help out while he runs the stall.’

‘Don’t cause too much trouble,’ his mother laughs.

‘I gotta work all day,’ Shinji says between spoonfuls of cereal. ‘Dashing is out, and I don’t wanna leave Scamper there alone.’

‘That’s my boy,’ Sally compliments. She checks the clock. ‘Oh! It is almost time for me to meet Dusk. I promised we’d spend the whole day together.’

‘Like that is going to happen,’ Shinji laughs.

‘What was that?’

‘Nothing,’ the young man groans. ‘Just think that my dads might have a thing to say about that.’

‘Or that loud Ray person might show up,’ Hamilton adds.

Sally growls at her sons. ‘Aren’t you late for work?’

The two boys laugh and run off. Sally sighs and cleans the table.

Dusk runs through the streets, late for his date with Sally. His assistant Spines almost set the library on fire while making breakfast, and he spent a good portion of the morning saving the books from the potential blaze then returning them to the proper shelves. He slows as he nears the agreed meeting location. The prince scowls when he sees his girlfriend talking with Crest, the local dentist. Sally notices Dusk and waves. After exchanging farewells, Crest gives the woman a wink before heading off.

‘What was that about?’ Dusk asks, as he storms over.

‘Oh, calm your cute little face,’ Sally sighs. ‘You know Crest and I are just friends. We were just catching up since I haven’t had to visit or drag Shinji to the dentist in a while.’

Dusk frowns. Sally leans up and kisses her boyfriend, getting him to sigh.

‘Where to first?’ Sally asks. ‘I bet you had this day planned out for two weeks now.’

Dusk tucks a list back into his vest pocket. ‘I have not. I am not that overprepared for everything.’

‘ “Get lattes and stare into her eyes”,’ Sally reads from the list. ‘Cute. I’m down for some PDAs.’

Dusk blushes. ‘Sally...’

The woman grabs her boyfriend’s hand and skips down the street. ‘Perfect date time, away!’

Dusk stumbles as he tries to keep up.

Having gotten their coffee, the couple walks through town. Dusk knows that Bubble Berry will be away from Sugarcube Corner at this time and thus it is safe to get a snack uninterrupted. He smiles and leads Sally into the cafe. His mood changes when he sees Berry pulling a cart full of treats from the back. The man notices the couple and lights up.

‘Dusky! Sally!’ Berry cheers.

He bounds across the room and grabs Sally in a big hug, planting a kiss on her lips. Dusk growls, his hair standing on end.

‘Berry...’ Dusk hisses, ‘I’m here too.’

Berry breaks the kiss. ‘Sorry. I forgot.’

Berry grabs Dusk’s face and locks a kiss on him too. Sally giggles as Dusk flails in panic. Berry breaks the kiss, leaving Dusk stunned.

‘B-Berry, I-I-I know you l-l-l-’ Dusk stammers

‘Love you?’

‘R-Right, b-but y-you have to warn me first.’

‘AH! Where is the fun in that?’

‘D-don’t you have a party to attend to.?’

‘Right! Almost forgot.’

Berry goes to his cart and returns to pulling it out of the cafe. Sally stops him.

‘Don’t worry. We’ll get him to do page one-seventy-three with us one day.’

Dusk tenses up and turns redder than Berry’s hair. Berry giggles and returns to his task.

Sally laughs and kisses Dusk ‘Come on. Let’s get back to our date.’

Dusk and Sally are locked in conversation as they continue their date.

‘Come on! It’ll be fun!’ Sally begs.

‘I know it is fun,’ Dusk hems, ‘but it would be weird doing that in public. I mean, I’m a prince for crying out loud!’

‘Oh, pfft. Who cares what everyone thinks? We’re in love. Isn’t that enough?’

Dusk blushes bright red. ‘I guess, but it would be awkward.’

‘Not from where I stand. I did the math. You are big enough.’

‘It-it doesn’t matter how big I am! I am just uncomfortable about doing that in public like that.’

‘Please, Dusky!’ Sally grabs her boyfriend in a hug. ‘I just want a piggyback ride.’

Dusk groans. He can hear the townsfolk whispering and laughing at the couple. To make matters worse, another set of arms wrap around the couple.

‘What are we hugging about?’ Rainbow Blitz asks.

‘Hi, Rainbow...’ Dusk groans.

‘Dusk is going to give me a piggyback ride,’ Sally replies.

‘A piggyback ride? Really?’ Rainbow laughs. ‘How can a weakling like Dusk do that?’ He lets go and looks at the couple. ‘I mean, you are small enough, but he has no muscle except his big, egghead brain.’

‘Thanks, Rainbow...’ Dusk growls.

‘What ya need is a big strong man like me to lift ya!’ The athlete poses, flexing his muscles.

‘You do have a point...’ Sally walks in close, feeling Rainbow’s muscles, causing Dusk to growl again. ‘You are strong enough, but...’

‘But what?’

Sally covers her mouth as she leans up to Rainbow. ‘Your epidermis is showing.’

Rainbow turns bright red. ‘It is?’

Sally nods. Rainbow screams and runs away, covering himself. Dusk holds his head in shame.

‘See, the epidermis is the hair,’ Sally explains, ‘so naturally it is showing.’

‘My friends are idiots,’ Dusk groans.

The librarian turns away and walks face first into someone else’s chest. He looks up to see a very smug face. Darien brushes some hair over his shoulder as he looks down at Dusk.

‘Funny bumping into you, Prince Dusk Shine,’ Darien greets.

‘Darien,’ Dusk snorts. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘I am here to visit with Stormseeker. Running into the lovely Sally (and you) is just good luck.’

‘Likely story.’

‘Hey, Darien!’ Sally greets. ‘Any good dreams lately?’

‘You, me and a vat of whipped cream.’ The man smirks.

‘What!’ Dusk shouts.

‘Hmm. Not one of mine. Must be your brother.’

‘He is not like that!’ Dusk snaps.

‘That is so him,’ Darien laughs.

Sally and Darien laugh. Dusk growls and pulls his date away.

‘Anyway! We have to be going. It is... good seeing you again, Darien,’ Dusk grumbles.

Darien smirks and blows a kiss to Sally. ‘Have good dreams, beautiful. Dusk...’ -- his smirk grows -- ‘Enjoy the night.’

‘What does that mean!’

‘Bye bye, Darien-sama!’ Sally waves.

Dusk mutters to himself as he storms away. Sally giggles at her boyfriend as she tags along.

The rest of the day goes smoothly. Dusk gets to have all the time he wants with Sally. The couple walks out of the theater together. Sally lets out a big yawn as she rests on Dusk’s shoulder. The man laughs and puts an arm around his girlfriend. A person walks by humming one of the recently heard showtunes.

Dusk recognizes the voice. ‘Butterscotch?’

A metrosexual man with styled pink hair turns around. ‘Yes? Oh! Dusk! Sally! What are you doing here?’

‘We’re on a date,’ Dusk replies. ‘Unfortunately...’

Butterscotch giggles. ‘Right. If a song isn’t about stat potions and saving throws...’

‘That isn’t tr...’ Sally swaggers slightly before settling against Dusk and rubbing her head on his chest.

‘Although, it was fun some nights,’ Butterscotch sighs, recalling his fake marriage to Sally. ‘Watch a romantic movie and have her fall asleep on my lap halfway through. Sure, getting her to bed afterwards was a struggle, but seeing her curled up in a little ball. Having her nuzzle my chest.’

Butterscotch squeals and covers the dopey expression on his face. Dusk just stares, eye twitching.

‘No, Butterscotch...’ Sally mumbles. ‘Stop poking me...’

‘It wasn’t like that!’ the man defends. ‘... Not every time...’

Dusk sighs. ‘It’s okay. You explained everything.’

‘Dusk-kun... Not tonight. I’m tired,’ Sally moans.

Butterscotch giggles as his friend turns beet red.

‘I’ll leave you two alone. Have a good night, Dusk. Sweet dreams, Sally.’

‘Good night, Butterscotch,’ Dusk replies.

Sally barely waves as her friend walks away. Dusk groans and starts guiding his girlfriend back home.

‘Dusk-kun...’

‘Yeah, Sally?’

‘I texted Shinji during the intermission. He and Hamilton will be staying at Dashing’s tonight.’

Dusk stops. His blush returns.

‘We’ll have my place all to myself tonight.’

‘But you said...’

Sally reaches under Dusk’s shirt. ‘I say a lot of things. Like “I love you”.’

‘I love you, too, Sally.’

Sally opens her eyes, leans up and kisses her boyfriend. When she leans back down, the couple continue back to The Power Block.

‘Dusk-kun...’

‘Hmm?’

‘Can I have a piggyback ride?’

Twilight groans and shakes her head as she finishes reading the story in front of her. Lyra’s oversized grin tells of her enthusiasm.

‘You really think this will work?’ Twilight asks.

‘Well...’ the unicorn hems. ‘You kept complaining that everypony would recognize you if I kept using your names, so I changed things up a little!’

Twilight shakes her head. ‘Nopony will fall for this stupid ploy, especially not any of my friends.’

There is a knock on the window before Rainbow Dash flies in with a stack of papers in hoof.

‘Hey, Lyra,’ Rainbow greets. ‘I thought I would find you here. Great story!’

Lyra’s grin only grows. Twilight facehoofs.

‘Rainbow...’ the unicorn groans, ‘didn’t you notice something off about it?’

Rainbow flips through the story again. ‘I liked the new characters...’ She looks at Lyra. ‘Can you use this “Blitz” guy again? I’d love to have a story where I hook up with him. He sounds totally hot.’

Twilight slams her head against the nearest bookshelf, causing an avalanche. ‘That was you! Lyra just changed the genders!’

‘Oh...’ Rainbow frowns. ‘Dang...’

Twilight shudders. ‘You really wanted to hook up with Blitz, didn’t you?’

‘No... Not really...’ She chokes back a tear.

‘Told you nopony would notice,’ Lyra gloats.

‘That doesn’t prove anything! We need a second opinion.’

‘Sup!’ James declares as he enters the library.

‘What are you doing here?’ Lyra asks.

‘I have no idea,’ the stallion replies. ‘I just had the feeling I should be here, so now I am.’

‘Perfect timing!’ Twilight laughs. She levitates a copy of the story to her coltfriend. ‘Lyra was just reviewing her new story.’

James briefly glances at the first page. ‘Why am I a mare?’

Twilight laughs smugly and sticks her tongue at the unicorn.

Lyra snorts and takes the story back. ‘It is still in beta.’

The green unicorn grumbles as she storms out of the library.

James shrugs and turns to his fillyfriend. ‘Hey, want a ponyback ride around town?’

Author's Note

Story Event: So, I tried getting as many r63 names as possible. Some weren't as good as I liked, but I went with the one with the most references I could find. As for those that didn't have a counterpart, I just made one up with he same origins as their regular counterpart. I am quite proud of keeping the Sailor Moon references with Luna/Selene becoming Artemis/Darien. Well, that and the Evangelion reference. Eva was my favorite show until I caught the second episode of Hayate no Gotoku while I was in Hiroshima. Such a good show.

The Lonely Changeling and The Beautiful Unicorn

Main Characters: TWP, Del
Cameos: The Lonely Changeling, The Beautiful Unicorn, The Handsome Unicorn
Original Start Date: December 14, 2012

James yawns as he trots back to his room after a middle-of-the-night washroom break. The sleepy stallion notices a movement across the living room ceiling. He turns on a light to find Del cowering above him.

‘Oh, uh, hi,’ the changeling greets, glancing around and shaking.

‘Are you okay, Del?’

Del looks around. ‘I cannot sleep.’

‘Bad dreams or..?’

The changeling whimpers and looks around nervously.

‘Would you like to stay with me tonight, Del?’

Del nods hurriedly.

‘Come on. Let’s go to bed.’

James steps under the nervous changeling, allowing her to drop to his back. He carries her to his bed. Del hops down and curls up. She still shakes nervously as she hides under the covers. James climbs in and holds the upset changeling.

‘Do you want to talk about what is bothering you?’ James asks.

Del whines and cuddles in. ‘I am just feeling...’ She whines again.

‘It’s okay. I understand. Would you like a bedtime story to help you sleep?’

Del nods. ‘Yes, please.’

‘Okay. Let’s see if I can think of a good one...’

Once upon a time, there was a very pretty little princess...

Del groans. ‘I know where that is going. I know that is supposed to be about me.’

James laughs and hugs Del. ‘You are a sharp one. Well... How about this?’

There was once a lonely changeling living with ponies. She traveled around the pony land looking for a place to belong. Unlike other changelings, she did not feed on love. Sometimes she would hide as a pony, but she did not like hiding and tried to get the ponies to accept who she really was. This made everypony scared, and they were mean to The Lonely Changeling. They would not let her live with them or eat with them. The Lonely Changeling was forced to live on the street and eat her meager meals alone. This made her very sad.

One rainy day, The Lonely Changeling was living on scraps in a small cardboard home, too small for a full-grown changeling, at the end of an alley. She heard the clopping of hooves on the street. A beautiful unicorn covering herself with an umbrella stepped to the end of the alley.

‘Is somepony there?’ The Beautiful Unicorn asked the darkness.

The Lonely Changeling whimpered and tried to hide in her box. The Beautiful Unicorn lit up her horn, lighting the alley and exposing the changeling. The unicorn gasped. The changeling backed away. The Beautiful Unicorn knelt down.

‘Come on out. It is okay,’ the unicorn beckoned. ‘I won’t hurt you.’

The Lonely Changeling creeped out of her hiding spot. The Beautiful Unicorn smiled kindly and stood.

‘Oh, look at you,’ The Beautiful Unicorn cooed. ‘You are so pretty.’

The Lonely Changeling sighed and shook her head. ‘I am not. You are beautiful. I am a monster.’

‘You are gorgeous.’

The changeling blushed and looked away. Another unicorn trotted up. He was a very handsome unicorn. The Lonely Changeling instantly backed away from the stallion.

‘My word,’ the unicorn stallion gasped. ‘Who have you found here?’

‘This is my new friend,’ The Beautiful Unicorn replied. ‘She was hiding in the alley.’

‘We cannot have that.’ The Handsome Unicorn offered a friendly hoof. ‘Come now. Let’s get you a good meal and take you somewhere warm.’

The Lonely Changeling stared at the hoof. She nervously extended one of her own and was helped to her hooves. The Handsome Unicorn covered the changeling with his umbrella, allowing himself to get rained upon. The Beautiful Unicorn motioned forward. The Lonely Changeling followed the unicorns away.

‘Isn’t she just the loveliest you have ever seen?’ The Beautiful Unicorn commented.

‘She is quite stunning,’ The Handsome Unicorn agreed.

‘Just think how lovely she will be once we get her cleaned up.’

The Lonely Changeling blushed and silently followed the unicorns. The few ponies on the street backed away in surprise at seeing the changeling. The Handsome and Beautiful Unicorns ignored the impolite reactions of the rude ponies that were hurting The Lonely Changeling’s feelings.

The Beautiful Unicorn stopped at a fancy restaurant. It was the fanciest restaurant The Lonely Changeling had ever seen. She felt very out of place as the unicorns ushered her inside. The maitre d’ did not look too pleased to see a changeling in his restaurant.

‘A table for three, please,’ The Handsome Unicorn requested.

The maitre d’ scowled at The Lonely Changeling. ‘Surely, you are joking. We do not serve their kind here.’

The Lonely Changeling whined and turned to leave, but The Beautiful Unicorn stopped her. The changeling tried leaving again, but the unicorn kept blocking her. She turned the changeling around to show The Handsome Unicorn confronting the rude maitre d’.

‘Sir, do you know who I am?’ The Handsome Unicorn asked. ‘I happen to be a very powerful and influential pony. With but an utterance, I can destroy your establishment’s reputation in an instant. If you will not welcome all visitors to your establishment, then you might as well not welcome us as well. We will just have to find another place to dine. One more welcoming than here.’

The Handsome Unicorn turned to leave. Other patrons who had noticed the group and recognized The Handsome Unicorn started murmuring and considered leaving too. This made the maitre d’ very nervous. That is when he finally noticed the pitiable expression on The Lonely Changeling’s face as she joined her new friends in leaving.

‘Wait!’ The maitre d’ called. ‘We, uh, might have room for you after all...’

The Handsome Unicorn laughed and smirked. The Beautiful Unicorn giggled, knowing her companion’s actions once again helped somepony in need. The other patrons returned to their meals and gave supportive looks as the group passed.

After the biggest meal she had had in ages, The Lonely Changeling followed her new friends back to their home. The Beautiful Unicorn helped The Lonely Changeling bathe and groom herself.

‘You are quite lovely,’ The Beautiful Unicorn constantly complimented while grooming the changeling.

Once his companion was through, The Handsome Unicorn showed The Lonely Changeling to a room of her own. She was invited to stay as long as she needed. For the first time in a long time, the changeling felt loved and welcomed. She thanked her new friends for their kindness and vowed to repay them one day. She was no longer The Lonely Changeling but The Pretty Changeling, and she was able to have many more happy and exciting adventures with her friends.

After finishing the story, James looks down at Del curled up in his forelegs. The small changeling has a large smile on her face as she falls asleep. James sighs and gives Del a gentle nuzzle.

‘Mr Wanderer...’ Del asks in her daze.

‘Yes, Del?’

‘Can you do that thing you did with Rei for me too?’

‘Are you asking me to adopt you?’

Del nods. ‘Yes, please. If you want me.’

James laughs. ‘Of course I would want you. I’ll talk it over with your sister and see what I can do.’

‘Thank you. You’re the greatest.’

‘So are you. Now, get some sleep, pretty changeling.’ James nuzzles Del again. ‘Love ya, Del.’

‘Love you too, dad.’

James laughs and settles in. Del sighs contently and falls asleep.

Bonus Scene

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: Del is adopted and becomes Del Wanderer.

Illusion of Ponyville

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, Trixie, Daring, Celestia
Cameos: Rei, Stormy, Dream Maker, Del
Original Start Date: January 19, 2013

Rei paces nervously in her living room. Del watches her from the couch. Their neighbor, Dream Maker, trots out of their father’s bedroom. In the other room, James, Twilight and Daring lay on the bed. Trixie sits beside Stormy and meditates.

‘This is a very complex illusion,’ Trixie says. ‘Thank you for volunteering.’

‘Somepony has to be be onhoof if your spell messes up,’ Twilight snorts.

Dream Maker returns to the room with a drink. Rei follows him inside.

‘Which is exactly why I asked you and Mr Dream to assist in this experiment,’ Trixie explains. ‘With you assisting me within the illusion and Dream on the outside monitoring us, we should be safe if something arises.’

Rei tries pulling her father from the bed. ‘Daddy, don’t do it. I have a bad feeling.’

‘Rei, we got enough crap from Lucas when we asked him to help out,’ Stormy groans. ‘Do you doubt Trixie’s magic will work?’

Rei shakes her head. ‘It is not that. I just have a bad feeling that my daddy won’t come back.’

‘I’ll be fine, Rei,’ James assures. ‘I’ve been working on this with Trixie for a while now. We’ll be fine.’

Rei whimpers and goes out to sit with Del. She hugs the small changeling and whines.

Twilight looks at Daring. ‘Why are you here too?’

‘Well, Lucas didn’t want to volunteer because he is a jerk and doesn’t trust Vicki’s kid. The comic geeks weren’t game. Rei was too worried. That just left me to fill the hole.’ Daring winks at Trixie. ‘Hopefully, she is as open as Vicki for some fun afterwards.’

Trixie blushes. ‘My coltfriend is in the room!’

The lusty pegasus winks. ‘Hasn’t stopped me before. Just ask granny... and grampy.’ She smirks. ‘Or both at once.’

Trixie’s face turns a brighter red than her coltfriend, who seems unfazed by the comment. ‘Aren’t you going to say something!’ the mare shouts.

Stormy shrugs. ‘Daring, touch her and blah, blah, blah, smoking ashes.’

Daring laughs at the weakly delivered threat.

Trixie goes over to Stormy and whispers, ‘You aren’t actually considering...’

‘She won’t do anything.’ The young stallion glares at the pegasus. ‘She knows not to mess with me.’

Daring laughs again. ‘Rarity said come to the back for the fitting, and I went straight to his room,’ she explains. ‘Totally worth the black eye from Rarity to set up that joke, after Stormy forcibly ejected me from the building, of course.’

The older stallions in the room chuckle while the other mares groan.

‘Daddy! Don’t do it! It isn’t safe!’ Rei shouts, as Del tries comforting her.

‘We’ll be fine, Rei,’ James shouts back. ‘Just let Trixie explain everything, and you’ll see how safe it is.’

‘Thank you.’ Trixie moves to where Rei can see her. ‘Now, remember when my idiot uncle and cousin tried attacking your lovely town, they sent us into those horrible illusions? Well, those were potentially fatal.’

Rei squeaks and hugs Del tight.

‘Anyway, I have perfected the tougher version of the spell that keeps the ones within the illusion free from harm.’ She goes to the bed. ‘My intent is to place clients into illusions of their favorite media, for a nominal fee of course, to let them live out their fantasies.’ She growls at James and Twilight to get them to move so she will not be next to Daring. ‘Now, I have been working with Mr Wanderer on testing a gaming scenario. I believe I am well-enough versed in the game to provide an accurate re-creation with his assistance. Twilight, Miss Do and I will aid in the game. In theory, we should be done in about thirty minutes.’

‘See, Rei?’ James laughs nervously. ‘Perfectly safe.’

The young mare whines again.

‘Don’t worry, Rei,’ Dream says. ‘I have plenty of experience with illusion spells. If anything goes wrong, I’m the perfect pony to help out.’

Rei whimpers and takes off with Del in her forelegs. She flies into the room and kisses her father on the head. ‘Just promise to come back.’

James makes the motions of a Pinkie Promise. Rei sighs and sits by Stormy.

‘If we are all ready, shall we begin?’ Trixie asks.

The others nod. Trixie powers up the spell on her horn. Beams of light shoot from the tip of her horn and enter the others’ foreheads. The four ponies lay their heads down as the illusion begins.
…

James, Twilight, Trixie and Daring appear on a grassy plain. The ponies look around at their surroundings. James adjusts a red cap and blue overalls. Twilight turns around and pushes a green cap over her horn.

‘Mare-io U? Really?’ the incredulous alicorn asks.

The stallion grins. ‘I thought it would be something fun and simple for us to enjoy.’

‘Why am I a squirrel?’ Daring asks as she glides around.

‘Closest thing to a pegasus in the game.’

Twilight thinks and casts a spell. A small fireball pops out of her horn. Trixie laughs and casts a spell. A small ice ball pops out of her horn.

Twilight turns to her coltfriend. ‘What did you give yourself?’

‘Twilight, you’ve seen me play. I wanted to balance things a bit.’

‘So you gave yourself nothing to hold yourself back a bit?’

James floats around in a bubble. ‘Maybe.’

Twilight pops the bubble with her horn. ‘You are not going to bubble through the whole game!’

‘Just showing the n00bs how we’re going carry them.’ James trots forward and points. ‘Onward to save the princess and to glory and cake!’

James gallops away. Twilight sighs and chases afterward. Trixie looks at Daring and shrugs. She gallops after her friends, leaving Daring to drift around randomly.

Trixie and Daring lay panting outside of a castle. Beside them, James and Twilight go over a map.

‘That, that, and... I think we got them all,’ Twilight says.

‘Told you we could hundred percent the game in a matter of hours,’ James laughs.

The other mares groan.

‘Neither of you were used as a living projectile,’ Daring grumbles.

‘And you didn’t spend most of the illusion in a bubble,’ Trixie huffs.

‘Well, maybe, you could learn to play better,’ Twilight taunts.

‘Trixie is adequate enough at games. This is different.’

‘Then maybe you need to exercise more.’

‘The same can be said about somepony else here.’

Twilight gasps in shock.

‘I’m not that out of shape,’ James defends.

‘You weren’t used as a hang glider either...’ Daring grumbles.

‘What? I thought you always wanted me on top of you.’

The pegasus narrows her eyes and growls. ‘I am going to do things to you while you sleep.’

‘Oh, like you don’t try to do that already.’ James turns to Trixie. ‘I guess we are through. You can end the spell now.’

‘With pleasure.’ Trixie focuses her magic, but nothing happens. ‘One more time.’

The unicorn focuses as hard as she can, but only a few sparks shoot from her horn.

‘Do you need any help?’ Twilight asks.

‘Please,’ Trixie pants. ‘I set enough failsafes in the illusion that a simple counterspell should dissolve it.’

Twilight joins Trixie in trying to cast the counterspell, but nothing happens. The others wait patiently.

‘Why isn’t this working?’ Twilight complains. ‘What did you do wrong?’

‘ME! Why do you think it is Trixie’s fault!’

‘Well, it is your family’s spell that you modified and you cast on all of us.’

‘I can see how you think it is Trixie’s fault, but I assure you that I have nothing to do with our predicament.’

‘Oh? Then who is at fault?’

‘Well, Trixie hates to sound crude, but I believe Mr Wanderer might be at fault.’

‘Me?’ James points to himself.

‘As you know, the spell taps into the target for recreating the world of the illusion. Trixie was out of control of the illusion once it started, but we should have been released once the game ended.’ She turns and glares at Twilight. ‘And before you say anything, I tested it on others besides myself and my counterspell should work!’

Everypony looks at James.

‘So, I am in control of the illusion?’ the stallion asks.

Instantly, the whole world changes. The group stands outside of a flashy casino. James is dressed in light armor with a giant sword on his back. Twilight wears a pink dress. Daring has a large gauntlet on her left foreleg and a giant shuriken on her back. Trixie is dark blue suit.

‘Ooo. That was cool,’ The Wandering Cloud comments.

‘James. Try getting us out of here,’ Twilight sighs.

The stallion nods and focuses. The scene changes to the group on an airship. James wears light blue armor and a long blue cape with his mane tied in a ponytail. Trixie changes to yellow and purple armor. Daring appears in a white shirt with a blue vest. Twilight wears a red leotard and purple sash.

‘Okay. Not what I meant,’ Twilight huffs.

‘I look pretty cool,’ Daring comments as she adjusts a bandana on her head.

‘You look like a thief,’ Trixie snorts.

‘That’s “treasure hunter”! Besides, you look like some crazed actress,’ the pegasus growls.

‘How dare you? I am an illusionist, not some opera floozy.’

‘Do you think they get the references?’ Twilight whispers to James.

‘Don’t care. I’m just loving this.’ The stallion gasps. ‘While we have the airship, we should see Thamasa!’

‘James! We have to get out of here,’ Twilight snaps. ‘Please try and focus on ending the illusion.’

‘Okay. Fine,’ James sighs. ‘But that doesn’t mean we can’t explore a bit while we do so.’

Twilight groans and goes to operate the airship while James focuses on ending the illusion and the other mares keep bickering.

Rei stares at her father and whines. Del sits in Rei’s lap and watches her sister. Stormy and Dream trot around the room, waiting for the illusion to end.

‘Dream, it has been more than thirty minutes,’ Rei whines. ‘They said they would be back now.’

Dream sighs. ‘They are fine. It isn’t too long past the estimate.’

‘It is almost twenty minutes over.’

The unicorn pauses. ‘Okay. That is a long time. Better check on them.’ Dream powers a spell that forms an aura around his and Trixie’s head. His eyes snap open. ‘They’re trapped!’

Rei bolts up, dropping Del, and grabs her father. ‘Daddy!’

‘Did the spell mess up?’ Stormy asks.

‘The spell seems to be working fine,’ Dream reports. ‘There is some other force keeping them in the illusion.’

‘Can you break them out of it?’

The other unicorn shakes his head. ‘Any attempt could damage their psyches. Whatever is holding them in there doesn’t want them to leave.’

‘Could it be the troll that trapped us the first time?’

Rei shakes her head. ‘No. Luna sealed him away. There is no way he is free.’

‘Hmm. That might be the solution,’ Dream says.

The small pegasus tackles the stallion. Electricity sparks between her black-tipped, flared wings. ‘Don’t you dare think of releasing that creature on my father!’

‘Not that, Rei. Luna. She has the power to enter our dreams. She can help find out the cause of the trap.’

‘You’re right!’

‘If you can let me up, I can write the princess for help.’

‘Spike! I’ll get Spike!’

Rei lets Dream up and disappears in a flash, leaving a trail of electricity behind her.

Del climbs on the bed and nuzzles her father. ‘Daddy will be okay?’

Stormy sits by Trixie and strokes her mane. ‘They’ll be fine, Del. No need to worry.’ He sighs. ‘No need to worry at all...’

The trapped ponies sit on a beach. A large metal structure is out at sea. Daring lays in the sand. She has on red pants and red wing covers, and there is a jewel in her mane. Trixie tends to her mane, now tied in a braid with leafs covering it. Twilight, wearing a purple skirt with a yellow bandana around her neck, glares at her coltfriend. James, in a green tunic, focuses as hard as he can.

‘Seriously,’ the stallion grunts. ‘It ain’t happening.’

‘Try harder!’ Twilight yells. ‘Before we get sent to another game.’

‘Actually, I don’t mind this one,’ Trixie comments as she plays with her mane.

‘Yeah,’ Daring agrees. ‘Ain’t like the sky is falling or anything.’

‘YES! IT IS! Right there!’ Twilight screams, pointing at the sky.

‘Where?’ Trixie asks.

‘THERE!’

‘Not seeing it.’

Twilight growls and snaps her attention to the sky. It is a calm and sunny day with light cloud cover.

The princess is shocked. ‘Where is the...’

‘I turned the moon off,’ James says. ‘Wanted to have as much time as possible to get this right.’

‘Wait. You can turn off elements of the game?’

‘I guess so...’

‘But our appearances automatically change...’ Twilight taps her hoof on her chin as she thinks. ‘Aha!’

‘So, our appearances must be subconsciously determined by how you see us,’ Daring says.

‘So, he sees me as some sort of princess?’ Trixie muses. ‘How appropriate.’

Twilight leans in. ‘So, me as Cremia, Terra and Aerith...’

James blushes and looks away. Twilight smiles and nuzzles her coltfriend.

‘The revelation that Mr Wanderer cares for you in some form and for some reason aside,’ Trixie groans, ‘that still doesn’t solve our current situation. If our magic doesn’t work and Mr Wanderer cannot release us from the illusion, how are we to free ourselves?’

‘I think we should keep trying what we know,’ Twilight replies. ‘There has to be away for us to break the illusion.’

‘Or we can use that big spinny triangle,’ Daring says, pointing to the sky.

The other mares look up. Twilight’s jaw drops. Three golden triangles come from the sky and land in James’ extended hoof.

♪ I got the thing! ♬ the stallion sings.

Everypony stares at James for several moments, waiting for something to happen.

James snorts and puts the Triforce under his cap. ‘Well, it was worth a shot.’

Twilight facehoofs.

‘Daddy! Wake up! Daddy!’ Del calls as she nuzzles James’ cheek. ‘Daddy, come back to Del...’

‘He’ll be back soon,’ Dream comforts. ‘Luna will come and...’

The sound of hooffalls are heard coming up the stairs. Stormy gets up and looks out.

‘Guess again,’ the unicorn says as he backs into the room.

Princess Celestia ducks as she enters the increasingly-cramped bedroom. She trots slower than usual with Rei wrapped around one of her hind legs. The princess scans the room.

‘Save them, Asa-hime!’ Rei begs.

Dream bows. ‘Princess Celestia. It is good to have your assistance, but we were expecting Princess Luna.’

‘While my sister’s realm does include the dreamworld,’ -- Celestia smirks and moves Trixie so she can sit next to James -- ‘I have had experience in this area. Besides, my sister is indisposed at the moment.’

‘Translation: when you heard you would be in Mr Wanderer’s mind, you made your sister stay in Canterlot while you came instead,’ Stormy interprets.

Celestia looks up from nuzzling the stallion next to her. ‘That is not true at all!’

‘I don’t care!’ Rei yells. ‘If somepony can save my daddy, I don’t care if it is Discord.’

‘He might have been available, too,’ Stormy points out.

The princess snorts at the smug unicorn. She turns to Dream. ‘I assume you have monitored the illusion. What do you know?’

‘The illusion was cast by Trixie,’ Dream explains. ‘It was to place them in an illusionary video games scenario made up by Mr Wanderer and was supposed to last thirty minutes. That was over a hour ago. I checked the status of the illusion, but it would have been too dangerous to use any counterspells I know.’

Celestia nods. She casts an analyzer spell of her own. ‘You were right to not force them from the illusion. The cause of the entrapment is from within the illusion. A powerful force is keeping them from releasing the spell on their end.’ She takes a deep breath and powers a spell. ‘I will enter the illusion myself and advise them on how to break the spell. They will be out before we know it.’

‘That’s what Trixie said,’ Stormy groans. ‘I’ll start drafting another letter to Luna.’

Rei roars and tackles her friend. ‘It WILL work! My daddy WILL be saved!’

Stormy stares up at the furious pegasus pinning him to the ground. ‘Trixie is in there too. If you think I am not worried about her and your father, then we are not as close friends as I thought.’

Rei frowns and helps her friend up. ‘Sorry. I am just really scared right now.’

‘Calm yourself, little one,’ Celestia soothes. ‘Our friends will return to us soon.’

The princess casts her spell and enters the illusion. Rei growls, gets out a thick, black marker and draws a line across Celestia’s face.

‘That is for calling me little,’ the young mare snorts.
…

Celestia appears within the illusion. She looks around. The others are on a beach, but The Wandering Cloud is back at the helm and focusing on breaking the spell. The princess smiles and trots forward.

‘Have no fear, Twilight Sparkle, Mr Wanderer, I am here to help,’ Celestia greets.

‘Princess! Thank you so...’ Twilight pauses. Her eye starts twitching. ‘What are you wearing?’

Celestia looks down. She is wearing a white tank top and black mini skirt. ‘Is this a reference to something?’

Twilight snaps her attention to her coltfriend. ‘Why is she dressed as Tifa!’

The stallion glances to his side. ‘No, she’s not.’

The angry princess looks back. Celestia is now (barely) wearing a very scant tunic that covers her rump in the loosest of terms.

‘Oh, I like this one,’ the older princess comments. ‘I take it it means there is some sort of sexual attraction going on.’

The Wandering Cloud turns bright red. Twilight groans and storms away. The other mares giggle at her.

‘Did I say something wrong?’ Celestia asks, now wearing a white blouse, long black skirt and a red bow around her neck.

‘It’ll be fine, Mitsuru-sempai,’ The Wandering Cloud sighs.

Celestia trots around the beach, scanning everything with her magic. She is now in a long tight-fitting black dress. Twilight groans at her mentor’s attire as she rejoins the others. The Wandering Cloud gives her a sheepish grin.

‘If you can change our form at will,’ Twilight huffs, ‘why are we all stuck in the same game?’

Trixie’s outfit changes to her yellow and purple armor. James changes to wearing black bombers jacket and a scar appears on his face. Daring changes to a yellow and red scarf and green mini-skirt.

‘I don’t know what you are talking about,’ James replies, trying to avoid Twilight’s gaze.

Twilight sighs. ‘If these are any indication of how you truly see us...’

The stallion grins. ‘But you’re Aerith.’

The princess shakes her head. ‘As long as I’m not Rikku. She’s a little annoying.’

‘Phew. Glad that ain’t me too,’ Daring says. ‘Jimmy loves me, right? I ain’t annoying at all.’

James avoids making eye contact.

‘Well, poopies.’

‘Oh, great. I’m the opera floozy again,’ Trixie groans.

Twilight smirks. ‘Actually, Celes is...’

James covers Twilight’s mouth and hurriedly shakes his head. Celestia finishes the scan and joins the others.

‘I believe I have found the source of the entrapment,’ the princess reports.

‘That’s great, Princess!’ Twilight cheers. She turns to James. ‘Can’t you do something about her attire?’

There is a flash, and Celestia is wearing a skin-tight blue jumpsuit. Twilight instantly facepalms.

The princess examines herself. ‘I like this one.’ She smirks. ‘So does she.’

Daring’s wings stick straight up.

‘I believe that illustrates my discovery quite well. We are being kept here by Mr Wanderer’s subconscious.’

~DUN DUN DUN!~

Everypony looks at James.

‘I think I found the sound controls...’ the stallion mumbles as music starts playing from nowhere.

‘Indeed,’ Celestia coughs. ‘It seems something within your subconscious wants to keep all of you here. It is resisting Twilight Sparkle’s and Trixie’s counterspells as well as Mr Wanderer’s conscious efforts to end the illusion.’

Trixie steps forward. ‘So you’re telling me that Mr Wanderer has taken over my mind and magic to trap us in the illusion.’

‘In a manner of speaking...’

‘If it is my subconscious, then it is not my fault!’ James defends. ‘What reason would I have to trap us here?’

Daring puts a wing around the stallion. ‘We all have our things we are running from.’

‘What am I running from? I have a wonderful life. I love my daughters. I have the greatest friends. Everything is great!’

‘I used to say that a lot too...’ the pegasus sighs as she backs away.

Twilight tries comforting her coltfriend. ‘James, I know you used to deal with...’

James glares at Twilight, silencing her. ‘I am fine. I am perfectly fine.’

‘We just want to...’

A blue aura surrounds the stallion, and he disappears.

‘James! Please!’ Twilight calls. ‘Don’t run from us! We... love you.’

Celesta puts a hoof on her student’s shoulder. ‘Do not worry, Twilight Sparkle. We will help him and find a solution to our problem.’

Dream stares at a clock. ‘This is taking far too long. I should go in.’

Rei shakes her head. ‘We already have daddy and the princess trapped. Five more minutes.’

‘Daddy...’ Del whimpers as she licks her father’s face.

‘Rei, it has been another ten minutes,’ Stormy says. ‘I trust Celestia as much as the next pony, but I think we need to call in Luna now.’

‘NO! I won’t risk my mother, even if it is to save my father! I don’t want to lose anypony else...’

Stormy sighs. He trots over to the upset mare and gives her a quick kiss.

‘What was that for?’ Rei gasps.

‘You have been pestering me for one for over a year. I felt it was the right time since you need some small pick-me-up.’

Rei smiles and gives her friend a hug. ‘You are the best friend anypony can have.’ She grips tighter. ‘But we are not risking anypony else. Understood?’

‘Perfectly.’

The two young adults sit and watch their loved ones once more. Rei leans against Stormy’s shoulder.

Trixie steps off a boat onto a small island with a lighthouse at the center. A creature with large red ears darts into the lighthouse. The unicorn raises an eyebrow and follows. The creature leads her down to a small room. Trixie lets out an annoyed sigh when she enters the room.

‘How many times does The Great and Powerful Trixie have to snap up out of a depression?’

‘That assumes you did the first time,’ James growls back.

‘You forget who follows your twitter,’ Trixie snorts. ‘You have been in pretty high spirits the past few months.’

‘You heard the princess! Obviously, there is something wrong with me if I don’t want to return to my daughters or my friends or my wife! I want to be trapped in a video game forever!’

Trixie stares, shocked. ‘What was the last thing you wish to return to?’

‘Life! My life!’ The upset stallion kicks the ground.

‘Mr Wanderer... Think about that. Think about what you really said.’

‘I know what I said,’ James snarls.

‘Then why are you angry about it? Embrace that! Let it overcome your sadness!’ The mare looks away. ‘That is what I did with Stormy.’ James glances back at Trixie. ‘I thought I would be alone, but I let him in and I cannot imagine us apart.’

‘Which is why you travel all the time despite having an apartment in the town where he lives.’

‘Stormy accepts that I must travel to make a living!’ The unicorn takes a deep breath and powers down the spell on her horn. She instead wraps James in a hug. ‘Tell her. Ask her. Put her where the hole is.’

James stands, dropping Trixie to the ground. He points an egg-shaped device at a wall and fires an orange portal. The stallion trots through, leaving Trixie alone.

Daring trots through a medieval town in the pouring rain. She finds a building with a sign featuring a silver unicorn on it. The pegasus enters. A large earth pony mare looks at the visitor from behind a bar.

‘Down there,’ the barmaid says, nodding towards a back door.

Daring nods and goes down to a basement room. She sits at a table, pulls a gun from under her wing and sets it on the table.

‘Just one bullet,’ the mare says. ‘You know what to do.’

James picks up the gun and points it at Daring’s head. The pegasus does not flinch. The stallion throws the gun to the side.

‘Why the hell was that too hard for you to do too!’ James shouts.

The pegasus slams her forehooves on the table. ‘Because I am not as strong as you! You ever thought about that! You are too strong to give in to this bullshit and you know it! Stop being a little pussy and realize that this is not the real you!’ Daring points above her. ‘The real you is the one out there! You are really sleeping next to the pony you love! Your daughters are probably worried sick for their father! They love you more than the former archaeologist who was retarded enough to fall for you, and you are turning your backs on all of us by feeling down on yourself!’

‘Daring... do you know how hard...?’

‘I lost my mom because we were too poor to afford the medicine that could save her. I had too many friends die on all of my adventures.’ She leaps across the table and pins the stallion to the ground. ‘I had the gun to my head!’ She snorts. ‘I know how hard it can be, but I kept going because I had you there to help me. I would give everything I have to help you!’ She looks away. ‘I wish I could do that... You have the greatest mare I have ever met, and you are making her upset because you are scared that she will say “no” and you'll end up as lonely as that creepy, perverted pegasus who lives across the street.’ Daring lets up. ‘She won’t, and you are far from being as alone as that freak. You’re just too thick to see that.’

‘You saw the book,’ James says. ‘Who do you think the father is?’

Daring traces the stallion’s mane with her hoof. ‘As long as your wife is okay with it...’

‘What if she is y..?’

Daring covers James’ mouth and shakes her head. ‘She isn’t.’ She drops a crystalline wing on the ground. ‘Go where you need to go. If it is the wrong place, I will find you and smack some sense into you.’

Celestia, now in a blue gi tied with an ornate obi, lands on a tropical island with a large volcano jutting from it. Very catchy music plays while she trots up to a solitary pony. Offshore, a red boat with a lion figurehead yawns. The princess sits next to The Wandering Squall.

‘You know,’ James sighs, ‘in this setting, you would technically be that boat there.’

‘Which sort of makes me wonder...’ Celestia takes a deep breath. ‘If I am seemingly dressed as those you have an attraction towards... why is it thou slept with our sister and not thee!’

James smirks and looks up at the raging princess. Her rage is visible. The stallion calmly reaches up and boops the princess on the nose. She scowls and boops him back. A small giggle is heard from behind a large rock.

Celestia sighs and lowers her hoof. ‘How long have you been feeling that way?’

‘How long have I not been?’ James sighs. A whimper comes from behind the rock. ‘No matter how much time I spend with Twilight and Pinkie and AJ, or how much I care for Rei and Del, it just only seems to cover up all of the loneliness and doubt.’ He leans back. ‘It is always there, reminding me how worthless I am.’

‘For a physicist, you are really an idiot, Mr Wanderer,’ Celestia groans. ‘You mention but a few of the ponies you have had an impact on, and you still think you are worthless? You forget all of the time you have helped your friends. You forget that Rei and Del would be absent a’ -- she covers her mouth -- ‘wonderful’ -- she uncovers her mouth -- ‘father. You forget all of the love you have spread.’

‘Even if it was with your sister and not with you.’

The princess holds back a scream. ‘You are confusing a physical relationship with an emotional one,’ she fumes. ‘What I am trying to say is that you are one of the least worthless ponies I have ever known.’ She wraps her forelegs around the stallion. ‘Even if you didn’t have the powers and technology you use to assist us in our daily lives, just the fact that you are a (rumored) good father and (from what I heard) a wonderful coltfriend. You have plenty to proud and happy about. Let your worries fade and replace them with all of the joy in your life.’

James looks up, putting him muzzle to muzzle with Celestia. ‘You have been channeling all of your Summer Sun Celebration speeches from the past three hundred years.’

‘And you just kissed me in front of your love.’

‘You wish this is a kiss.’

‘You wish this wasn’t.’ Celestia smirks. ‘Your tail is thumping right into my...

‘Well, your hooves are on my...’

The princess screams as a purple magical aura wraps her and throws her into the ocean. The same aura pulls the stallion to face Twilight. The furious princess is dressed in a blue dress under a silver breastplate and leg guards. She levitates a large golden sword in her coltfriend’s face.

‘What was that?’ the unicorn growls.

‘I was going to say “haunch”!’ Celestia shouts. She looks up at The King of Red Lions. ‘What are you looking at?’

The boat looks away.

James smiles. ‘I was going to say “stomach”. ... Good to see you realized that is a video game too.’

Twilight growls and puts the sword away. ‘Wasn’t my idea...’

‘Yes, it was.’ James gets up and hugs his fillyfriend. ‘I want to go home now.’

‘I know you do.’

‘I don’t want to be sad any more. I want to see our friends again. I want to spend time with my kids’ -- the two ponies change to James in a blue tunic and Twilight in a white dress -- ‘I want to be with you.’

‘I want to be with you, too, James.’

‘Just kiss her already!’

‘You heard the boat! Do it!’ Celestia adds.

The two ponies turn and glare at their audience. A blade of ice slashes at them, getting Celestia to dive underwater and hitting King of Red Lions. They look back at each other. Their outfits change to white and blue armor on James and a white and gold cape on Twilight.

‘I’ll love you forever, Twilight.’

‘If what you told me about your species is true, I know you will.’

‘And I want to spend it all with you.’

‘James...’

Twilight leans in and kisses James. The illusion starts dissolving around them. Celestia sticks her tongue at The King of Red Lions as the boat disappears. The princess looks around as Trixie and Daring appear beside her while the island evaporates. Each of the ponies poof out one by one. Twilight breaks the kiss and gasps when she gets a mental image of a small purple box hidden in Del’s room. James grins sheepishly as he leaves. Trixie breaths a sigh of relief when she becomes the last pony in her mind before she casts her final counterspell.
…

The five ponies in the illusion moan as they wake. Despite Del licking the back of his head, James has somehow moved to embrace and kiss Twilight. Celestia grunts and rolls off the bed.

‘I could down an entire bottle of aspirin,’ Daring moans.

James breaks the kiss. ‘Not when I’m around.’

‘You know what I mean.’

‘DADDY!’ Rei squeals as she hugs her father.

The stallion groans. Del happily moans as she joins the hug. Stormy helps Trixie off the bed and kisses her.

Dream helps Celestia to her hooves. ‘Glad to have you back.’

‘Glad to be back,’ the princess replies.

‘You were under for a long time,’ the unicorn says. ‘You should get checked out before returning to normal life.’

‘Rei, get sensei,’ James tells his daughter. ‘Everypony else, to the closet.’

Rei zips out to get Nurse Redheart. Dream, Del and Stormy help the others to the TARDIS. Twilight holds James back a bit.

‘So, um, was what you said a..?’ the princess asks.

James looks away. ‘Um, well, no... If it were, it would be special...’

‘It doesn’t have to be special. It just has to be you.’

James smiles at Twilight. ‘It is for you. It has to be perfect.’

Twilight laughs. ‘Has anypony ever told you you are really weird?’ She kisses him. ‘I look forward to it.’

The two ponies enter the TARDIS, tails entwined.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: Twilight finds out something he is keeping from her... James somewhat reveals some thoughts he might have about Celestia.

Story Event: Trixie tries her hoof at the gaming illusion spell.

Story Event: Really, most of the characters and locales seen are some of my favorites in gaming. I really like Squall, Aerith, Misturu, Gold Saucer, Victory Island (almost all of my hatched eggs from White are from there) and Dragon Roost Island. I would spend eternity on Dragon Roost or Windfall. Wind Waker had so many great places to live or just exist.

Twilight saw the box. She knows. How much longer until the ultimate question is asked?

James and Pinkie: Partners in Time

Main Characters: TWP, Pinkie Pie
Cameos: Many
Original Start Date: December 24, 2012 (Almost Christmas!)

James groans and adjusts his glasses. He slept on the couch after staying up all night watching movies. A snore fills the living room and a lock of pink mane drops in front of his face, reminding the stallion why he was up late.

The Cake twins have come down with a bad case of pony pox. Pinkie is doing her best to give the Cakes the space they need to care for their kids. Unfortunately, she has been kicked out of all of her friends’ homes due to her wild behaviour. She ended up staying with James, allowing Rei some time with Inkie and letting Del sleep over with her friends. The two friends have spent the past few nights staying up playing games and watching movies.

Pinkie cuddles the pony below her. ‘I have the best, most comfy bed.’

‘You’ll also have the wettest bed if you don’t allow me to use the washroom.’

‘Sorry,’ Pinkie giggles.

The mare lets James up. While the stallion uses the washroom, Pinkie makes them breakfast. James returns to an array of cakes and other treats produced in an amazingly short amount of time.

‘Just a small breakfast?’ the stallion asks.

Pinkie eats a plate of eclairs. ‘Got to get the energy up for another great, super, funtastisc day!’

‘Hmm. I guess.’

‘AW! Come on! You are one of the bestest ponies I know. You should be having fun all the time.’

‘I do have fun,’ James groans. ‘You just can’t be having fun and doing crazy things all the time.’

‘But you have your magic box thingy!’ Pinkie objects. ‘You can go anywhere and do anything! I’ve seen what you can do with it. If I were you, I’d be using it to make everypony everywhere across all time happy!’

James sighs, ‘You can’t really do that, Pinkie.’

Pinkie whimpers and goes back to eating. James sits down and starts eating too. Soon, he gets an idea.

‘Hmm. Pinkie, are you pondering what I’m pondering?’

‘I think so, James, but we have to keep it down or Lucas and Mimi might hear us downstairs.’ Pinkie giggles. ‘Poit.’

‘Actually, I was thinking we could test your theory.’

‘Goodie!’

‘But, there are conditions.’

‘AW!’

‘We will go back and test the theory. If we can make everypony we meet happy, then we will spend the rest of eternity doing just that.’

‘WHEEE!’

‘But! If the test is a bust, you will admit that you can’t make everypony happy all the time.’

Pinkie thinks hard.

‘Do you smell burning?’ James asks.

Pinkie screams and pulls a cake out of the oven before it is overcooked.

‘So, do we have a bet?’ the stallion asks.

A pregnant dark purple unicorn mare trots off a train at Ponyville station. She coughs a bit as she levitates her saddlebag onto her back. Before it lands, the mare is gently nudged out of the way, and the bag is placed on another back.

‘Let me take that for you,’ Pinkie offers.

‘Oh, thank you,’ Raspberry replies.

‘No problem! Always happy to help!’ the pink pony cheers as she escorts the new arrival through town. ‘What brings you to Ponyville?’

‘I am looking for a new life. I want to raise my foal somewhere safe and peaceful.’

‘Well, you came to the right town! We have a great school and wonderful fashion district and the greatest library in Equestria!’ Pinkie beams brightly. A small rock hits her in the back of the head. ‘Oh, wait. We don’t have those yet.’

Raspberry laughs slightly but begins coughing.

Pinkie frowns. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’ll be fine. Just not used to this fresh country air.’

‘Don’t worry. We have great doctors if you need them!’

Raspberry laughs again. Pinkie follows Raspberry as the mare takes in the town. The pink pony smiles as Sugarcube Corner into view. Her expression changes when she sees a young Carrot Cake arguing with a dark blue unicorn.

Raspberry sighs and levitates her bag back. ‘That is who I am supposed to meet. Thank you for your help.’

‘He doesn’t look’ -- a loud, tribalist expletive is heard -- ‘or sound very nice.’

‘He is a distant cousin. He has agreed to help me out until I can stand on my own.’

‘You don’t need him! You could, uh... Ah! You could work for the Cakes there. I bet you are a great baker, and they are the nicest employers, and we can be roommates and do each other’s manes and trade stories, and I know Stormy will love it!’ Pinkie stares at Raspberry with big doe eyes and whimpers. ‘Please?’

Raspberry smiles back. ‘I appreciate your concern, but you don’t have to worry about me. I have been through some tough times and made it through fine. I may not be as well-off as my friend Melodia, but I’ll be fine.’

Pinkie looks down and whimpers again.

‘Hey, cheer up. You were a wonderful town greeter. I really appreciate your kindness.’

‘Actually, I am Laughter, not Kindness.’

Raspberry laughs. ‘You have been a joy to meet. I hope we can be friends.’ She holds a hoof out. ‘I’m Raspberry Souffle.’

Pinkie shakes the hoof. ‘I’m Pi... unh...’ She grins. ‘Ms Strawberry!’

Raspberry gasps. ‘Strawberry?’

‘Did I say something wrong?’

‘N-no. You just reminded me of somepony I met when I lived in Canterlot. He was a good friend and made me smile as much as you have.’ The unicorn pulls Pinkie into a hug. ‘Thank you, Ms Strawberry. You are the greatest.’

Raspberry lets go and trots away to meet up with her cousin. She stops to wave to Pinkie before following her cousin away. The pink pony lets out a loud moan and trots back to the train station.

‘I just can’t make it,’ a tan mare with a fuschia mane moans while trotting by. ‘How can I get ahead in politics?’

‘Maybe dye your mane to look older and wiser,’ Pinkie mumbles as she passes.

‘Hey! That’s a great idea! Thanks!’

Pinkie laughs a bit as the mare gallops away. The down mare continues her trek through town. As she nears the train station again, loud crying is heard. Near the platform, a pale grey mare is trying to tend to a crying purple-grey baby filly and wrangle a large shopping basket with a pink tail sticking out of it. A grey filly wanders around the area.

‘Marble! Get back here!’ the mare snaps. She groans and bounces the baby on her shoulder. ‘Calm down, Limestone. We’ll be home soon.’ The basket jumps. ‘Pinkamena! Knock it off!’

Filly Inkie darts back to her mother’s side. The older Pinkie Pie moans as filly Pinkie climbs out of the basket.

‘I was only looking for a snack,’ the filly whines.

‘You can eat when we get home and make dinner,’ Cloudy Quartz scolds. She holds up baby Limestone. ‘Please calm down, Limestone.’

Blinkie keeps crying, but something gets her attention, and she laughs. Sue turns to see mare Pinkie making a funny face.

‘Thanks for your help,’ Sue thanks her time-displaced daughter.

‘I have a way with foals,’ Pinkie replies.

‘I can do that too!’ Filly Pinkie makes a face.

Inkie giggles at her sister.

‘Pinkamena! Knock that off!’

Filly Pinkie frowns and looks down.

‘You don’t have to be so harsh...’ mare Pinkie whimpers.

Cloudy picks up her basket. ‘I’m sorry you had to see that. Pinkamena is normally better behaved.’

Pinkie laughs nervously. ‘She just needs a little understanding. I’m sure she will turn out fine. I bet she would say you that you a wonderful mother.’

‘Thank you, miss.’ Cloudy bows. ‘If you are ever out at the Pie Family Rock Farm, I’ll give you a discount. Come along, children. We have a bit of trip if we are going to get home in time for dinner.’

Cloudy puts Blinkie in the basket and trots way. Filly Pinkie and Inkie sigh and follow. Mare Pinkie looks around and slips them both cookies. Filly Pinkie’s hoof accidentally glances off mare Pinkie’s. A powerful jolt of electricity passes between the two Pinkies. They giggle and gallop in opposite directions. A brown hoof catches the mare on the shoulder and pulls her into a vending machine.

‘Temporal energies coursing through your younger self and now explaining a lot about you aside, we have to hurry to our next destination.’

‘Can we stop for lunch first? I sorta gave away my snack already.’

James groans and goes with Pinkie to the kitchen.

A small blue pegasus filly jumps on the bottom bed of a bunk bed. She flaps her wings like crazy as she tries to get airborne. She gives a big bounce and sails off the bed. She screams as she falls face first towards the floor.

‘Careful, Dashie,’ Pinkie says, plucking the filly from her fall. ‘You don’t want to hurt yourself.’

Pinkie sets the young Rainbow Dash on the floor. The filly looks at the odd mare and a stallion standing beside a strange closet. Dash jumps back on her bed and flares her wings.

‘Who are you?’ the filly demands. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘We’re friends, Dashie,’ Pinkie replies.

‘Oh, yeah? Then how come I ain’t seen ya before?’

‘Manehattanites,’ James groans.

‘Ya got a problem with me?’

‘Not at all, Dash. In fact, we’re here to play.’

James points his sonic at a wind-up pegasus toy. The toy springs to life and flies around the room.

‘That’s so cool! How’d you do that?’

‘Just a simple trick.’ He sonics an earth pony toy that gets up and trots around. ‘Still think we’re threats?’

Dash jumps from her bed and starts playing with her souped-up toys. Pinkie giggles and joins in the fun.
…

Rainbow Dash lays on her bed. She has only been playing with Pinkie for about a hour and her new friend has already worn her out. James still stands by his TARDIS. Pinkie picks up Dash’s toys.

‘Pinks, you are too fun,’ Dash sighs. ‘I don’t think I’ll have the energy to play with my big sis when she gets home from work.’

‘Big sis? I didn’t know you had a big sister,’ Pinkie replies. ‘I know your mom is...’

James stops Pinkie from finishing.

Dash rolls over. ‘Yeah. My big sis is the greatest. We always do stuff together. Sometimes, we share the same bed, and she tells me all the coolest stories, like the Headless Horse or the Olden Pony.’ Her eyes dart. ‘I wasn’t scared of them at all!’

‘Sounds like you have a great sister,’ James comments.

‘Duh. She gets me all the coolest toys. We always hang out together when she doesn’t have work, and one day we are going to move to Cloudsdale together! It’s gonna be awesome!’

Pinkie looks at James, confused. The sound of a door opening and closing is heard outside the room. Dash hops up.

‘Big sis is back!’

The filly peeks out of the room. Pinkie looks out as well. A pale blue pegasus mare no older than Pinkie stands down a hallway. Two more pegasi trot up. One is a dark green stallion. The other is a beige mare.

‘About time you returned,’ the stallion scolds.

‘The filly has been extra noisy the past hour,’ the mare snorts.

‘I’ll have a word with her,’ the blue pegasus sighs.

‘You have to be more strict or else she will turn out undisciplined,’ the stallion grunts.

‘Yeah. Because that worked so well on me.’

‘If you had listened to us in the first place, you wouldn’t have ended up with that bat freak and thrown your life away.’

The younger mare fumes. ‘And if you had let me be with Windsong, I would have had his support with Rainbow.’ She looks away. ‘And now he can’t even help if he wanted to... You really shouldn’t speak ill of the dead...’

‘Dear, we’re just upset that you didn’t listen to our warnings,’ the older mare sighs. ‘You ended up having to drop out of school because of your pregnancy. You had such a bright future.’

‘Just because MY life didn’t turn out the way YOU wanted doesn’t mean it was wasted. Rainbow is a great kid, and I am going to raise her better than you did me.’

‘You can’t do that because you never finished school,’ the stallion huffs. ‘How can you even think of taking her to Cloudsdale if you can barely afford to take care of her here?’

‘We will find a way! I will save enough money and take my daugher as far away from you as possible! We will prove to you that we can live on our own!’

The stallion stands over the young mare. ‘If that is the way you want it, then so be it. Either find a new place or we will start charging rent. Starting this month.’

‘That’s unfair!’

‘Neither was my only daughter giving me a granddaughter before she was eighteen. That was unfair to all of us.’

The younger pegasus screams and gallops to Rainbow Dash’s room. She slams the door behind her and sobs. Dash stares up at the other pegasus. The mysterious closet door remains cracked.

‘Big sis?’ Dash says.

The young mare bends down and hugs the filly. ‘Oh, Rainbow. I am so sorry.’

‘Are you okay, big sis?’

‘Rainbow, I know this is really strange and probably hard for you to understand, but I am not your sister.’

‘You’re not?’

‘No. I am really your mother. I had you a lot younger than I should have... at least according to my father. He is wrong. You came at the right time, and you are perfect. Got that? Perfect. Don’t let anypony tell you different.’

Dash contorts her face as she tries to interpret what she has been told. ‘I think I get it, but who are the ponies we live with? Who is my dad?’

‘Your dad was a wonderful pony. I’ll tell you about him later but first, we have something more important to do.’

‘What is it?’

‘You know how we are planning on moving to Cloudsdale?’ Dash nods in reply. ‘Well, we’re going right now. I don’t know how we’re going to afford it, but we’ll make it.’

There is a tap on the wall.

‘Perhaps I can be of some help,’ James says.

Rainbow’s mother jumps back, wings flared. ‘Who are you!’

‘That’s Jimmy!’ Dash answers. ‘He and Pinks have been playing with me today.’

‘Hello!’ Pinkie greets.

‘What are you doing here?’ Rainbow’s mother asks.

‘We’re here to lend you a helping hoof since you could really use one,’ James explains. ‘I’m offering to take you to Cloudsdale free of charge, as well as some other perks.’

Rainbow’s mother looks at the strange stallion and mare that have spent an unknown amount of time alone in her daughter’s bedroom doing Celestia knows what. She turns to the door to the home where the parents who raised her live, then back to James. ‘Thanks. Start packing.’

‘Way ahead of you,’ Pinkie replies, motioning to the TARDIS.

Rainbow’s mother looks inside and gasps. ‘Whoa.’

Dash follows her mother. ‘This is so cool.’

James scans the room before ushering everypony into the TARDIS. Rainbow’s mother gawks at the ship while her daughter gallops away. James trots to the control console and pulls a switch.

‘Pinkie, get Dash for me,’ the stallion says.

Pinkie nods and searches for Dash.

‘It will only take a second, but there are some things I would like to go over first,’ James says.

Rainbow’s mother nods.

James motions to some boxes beside the young mare. ‘First, I hope we got everything. We packed all of the toys, clothes, bedding, everything that looked important. Basically, just cleared the room. … And the fridge while you were arguing with your parents. Got a little hungry while working.’

‘How did you do all of that in a few minutes?’

The stallion smiles. ‘As your daughter will one day consistently point out, time travel is’ -- he squeezes his cheeks together -- ‘SO AWESOME!’

‘I agree with her.’

‘Second, I set up some things and left an information packet in your new home detailing everything you need to know: address, new phone number, area map with key interests marked, work schedule...’

‘Whoa, whoa, whoa. Work schedule?’

‘You’ll be starting at the absolute bottom rung with the weather service, but there is plenty of room for advancement.’

‘Got her!’ Pinkie calls as she trots back with a soaking Rainbow Dash on her back. ‘Found her in the swimming pool.’

‘Swimming pool?!’ Rainbow’s mother is surprised.

‘Which one?’ James asks.

‘Sorry, Jimmy,’ Dash apologizes.

The stallion ruffles the filly’s mane. ‘Forget all about it. Seriously.’

Dash sways a bit then falls asleep. James lifts her and gives her to her mother.

‘What did you do?’ the young mare asks.

‘Just a little psychic rearrangement. She cannot know who Pinkie or I are just yet.’

‘Dashie won’t remember me?’ Pinkie tears up.

‘Don’t worry, Pinks,’ Rainbow’s mother assures. ‘I’m sure something of you will survive.’

James powers down the TARDIS. ‘Now, there is one condition for receiving my help.’

‘What is it?’

‘You have to do your best to raise Rainbow Dash, but I think you are up to the task. I recommend you start by taking her out to celebrate once she wakes. There is a nice little place near your new home. You never know who you are going to meet. And don't forget to teach her the value of loyalty. No matter what happens, be there for her and she will do the same.’

‘Right. Thank you.’

James opens the doors, sonics the clouds so he can walk on them and helps unload the boxes. Rainbow’s mother sets her daughter on a small couch.

‘Thank you for your help,’ Rainbow’s mom says, bowing. ‘I have no idea who you are, but you really helped me out.’

James returns the bow. ‘It was our pleasure. Right, Pinkie?’

Pinkie nervously kicks the ground. ‘Um, if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Dashie’s father?’

Rainbow’s mother sighs despondently. ‘Windsong was my coltfriend when I was still in school. He was the absolute sweetest bat pony you would ever meet. Long story short, one thing led to another, and I had Rainbow Dash. I had to drop out of school to raise her, since my parents refused to help. Windsong’s parents forced him to enlist in the Lunar Guard. A while back, there was an unicorn that was using his magic to brainwash ponies and griffins. Windsong’s unit was assigned to infiltrate the unicorn’s camp. They were able to free everypony, but Windsong... He was the one who defeated the unicorn. … He was posthumously awarded medals for valor. Princess Celestia even came to the funeral. Yet, my parents still hate him.’

Pinkie hugs the other mare. ‘Thank you for telling me. Don’t worry. You will find somepony you and Dashie will love. I know it.’

‘Right. Thank you again for the help.’ Rainbow’s mother waves as the TARDIS disappears. She nuzzles Dash. ‘Rainbow, time to wake up.’

The filly moans. ‘Mom?’

‘That’s right. I bet you’re hungry. Let’s go out to celebrate reaching Cloudsdale.’

‘We’re in Cloudsdale already! I missed the whole trip!’

‘You didn’t miss anything. Besides, we have a lot to talk about...’

Rainbow’s mother leads her out of their new home. While the mare locks up, a rainbow-maned stallion trots past and checks her out. Dash tries alerting her mother, but she misses the stallion. Another neighbor is returning to her home as the family leaves. The pink pegasus comes over.

‘So, you’re my new neighbors? I’m Fyrefly,’ the pegasus greets. ‘If ya need anything, just ask me.’

‘I’m Cloudburst, and this is my daughter Rainbow Dash,’ Rainbow’s mother replies.

‘Rainbow Dash, eh?’ Fyrefly says, looking the filly over. ‘You’re pretty cool.’ She nods. ‘Yeah. You’re at least twenty percent cooler than any other filly I’ve met.’

Back in Ponyville, the local daycare bustles with activity. Thanks to the regular caretaker winning a limited time offer to visit a fancy spa in Canterlot, two substitutes are filling in. While Pinkie wrangles foals in the yard, James tends to the ones inside. A freckled orange pony stares up at the substitute.

‘Yer cute,’ the filly Applejack says. ‘Ya wanna get hitched?’

James laughs. ‘Wait until you’re older. Maybe you’ll think differently.’

‘But Ah wanna marry ya now!’ She stares up, frowning. ‘... Ya’ll have t’ do somethin’ ‘bout yer mane first.’

The stallion laughs again. ‘Like I don’t hear that enough. What’s the rush, anyway?’

‘Well, uh...’ The filly kicks the ground a bit. ‘Like Ah said, Ah think yer cute. And Ah gotta beat mah brother at somethin’!’

Applejack looks across the room. A large red colt stares stoically into the distance as several fillies and a couple colts surround him.

‘He’s startin’ real school soon and Ah know he’s workin’ on gettin’ his cutie mark befer me, but Ah’m gonna get it first. Ah’m gonna try everythin’ ‘til Ah get it.’

James laughs and ruffles Applejack’s mane. ‘Best of luck with that. Word of advice: it is good to dream big, but family is where the heart is.’

Applejack fixes her mane. ‘Yer weird.’

The stallion keeps laughing. Pinkie comes inside carrying a pony dripping with mud.

‘Found her!’ the mare declares.

‘All hail, Rarity! Queen of the mud ponies!’

The queen is dethroned as Pinkie drops her in a sink and turn the tap on. There is a flash as James takes a photo on his mobile.

‘Hello, Twitter,’ the stallion laughs as he sends the picture through time.

While Pinkie washes her screaming future friend, an earlier incarnation of the mare trots by with Raspberry outside a nearby window.

The closet door opens in The Power Block’s living room. Pinkie trots out, deep in thought. James follows and locks up. He pats Pinkie on the back.

‘Come on. Let’s do dinner. We’ve had a busy dayish period of time.’

‘Wait,’ Pinkie says. ‘We still have to settle the bet.’

James sighs. ‘I think it is settled. While we were able to help Rainbow Dash and her mother and it was fun caring for the foals, we didn’t really change anything with the foals and Raspberry... She refused your help outright. I hate to admit it, but I won.’

‘No, you didn’t.’ The mare shakes her head. ‘The bet was to make everypony happy. The foals had a great time with us. I was able to make my sisters and mother happy. And Raspberry...’ Pinkie smiles. ‘When I mentioned you, you should have seen how happy she was. Just the mention of your name filled her with joy. We really did make her happy, even if her cousin was a total flankhole.’

James smiles. ‘I guess you are right, Pinkie.’ He kisses her cheek. ‘So, what do we do now? Travel everywhere helping everypony?’

‘No. We don’t have to since you do that already.’ Pinkie gives James a big hug and kisses him. ‘You really are the greatest.’

‘I’m just a pony, you know?’

Pinkie laughs and kisses him again. ‘Oh, if we see Discord again, I’ll have to tell him my answer changed.’

‘Really? To what?’

Pinkie knocks James to the ground and pins him down. ‘Same thing Twilight Sparkle wants...’

‘Try to take over the world?’

Pinkie giggles and shakes her head. She leans down and gives the stallion a big kiss.

Bonus Scene

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: Applejack hits on TWP for the first time.

Story Timeline: Raspberry moves to Ponyville. Rainbow Dash moves to Cloudsdale. As to Twilight maybe wanting to take over the world... Everything is going to be fine...

Story Event: So this was written right before Games Ponies Play and was posted that weekend. I had originally written that Rainbow Dash's father was a bat pony and implied that her mother would meet and marry the stallion who would raise her. Thanks to that episode, I had to make it more explicit that the stallion seen in the episode was Rainbow's step father in TWP continuity. For that emergency edit, I hate Rainbow's dad. I also thought it was totally awesome of the show to design her dad to look like her. In the words of a certain pegasus: 'So! Awesome!'

Fun Fact: That is my absolute favorite Rarity line I have ever written.

Post Simple Ways: I wrote this chapter almost a year and a half ago then we get this:

Coincidence?

137 Short Scenes About Hearts and Hooves Day

Main Characters: So many couples!
Cameos: Only a few hoofing it

James and Del eat dinner together while Rei is out with Inkie. The stallion clears his plate and pours the changeling another glass of juice.

‘Thank you, daddy.’

‘No prob, Del.’ The stallion sits back down. ‘Now, Del it is almost Hearts and Hooves Day, and your sister and I both have dates. If you don’t want to stay here alone, I think Apple Bloom will also be alone and you can visit her. Or I can ask Daring to watch you.’

Del smiles. ‘It’s okay, daddy. Big sister told me all about the holiday and said she will be visiting. She wants to go to dinner.’

James stares at his daughter in shock.

‘I’m joking! But can she come over if she wants?’

The stallions sighs, ‘As long as Ponville ends the night with equal or more ponies than when it started, it is fine.’

‘Thank you!’ Del smiles.

‘Anyway, do you have a special somepony you are looking forward to get a card from?’

Del frowns. ‘I do not... But can I give cards to all of my friends?’

James looks upset. ‘Are you just singling them out and not giving them to the whole class?’

‘But that includes the rude, loud pink one.’

‘It is very mean to exclude others from a celebration. Do you want them to exclude you because you weren’t nice to them?’

‘No...’

‘Do you want them to feel bad for being left out?’

‘No...’

‘Do you want them thinking that nopony loves them?’

‘N-’

‘...and have them be lonely for three hundred long years until a marvelous purple unicorn trots into their life and for some miraculous reason falls in love with them thus making them cry with happiness every night?’

Del gets up and hugs her father. ‘I will make cards for everypony, but I will make extra special cards for my friends.’

‘Good girl, Del.’

The changeling sighs and goes to get the art supplies to make her cards.

The next morning. Bon Bon yawns as she enters her shop for some pre-dawn preparation. She is always extra busy with ponies who forgot to get their special somepony a Hearts and Hooves Day gift, and she wants to make sure she has plenty of stock. The confectioner turns on the light to her kitchen and is shocked to find a life-sized chocolate Lyra waiting for her. She giggles, thinking her wife stayed up all night working on the gift, until she notices a small straw sticking from the statue’s mouth.

‘Lyra, did you dip yourself in chocolate again?’

‘Maybe,’ the statue mumbles.

‘Well, you know that the chocolate won’t melt that easily.’ She trots over to her trapped wife. ‘That means I can take as long as I want to eat you up.’

Bon Bon runs her tongue up Lyra’s chocolate-covered horn, getting the whole unicorn to shake. The confectioner laughs and starts going to work, stopping only to give a chocolate-coated cutie mark a kiss.

James and Del, in her pegasus disguise, come downstairs to The Power Block. At the counter, Lucas and Mimi nuzzle each other. Del gives them an upset look before kissing her dad on the cheek and heading to school.

‘Good morning, Boss,’ Lucas greets.

Mimi bows. ‘Mr Wanderer.’

‘Big plans tonight?’ James asks. ‘Or just average plans? Not too big. Not too small. Just enough to get the job done.’

Mimi giggles at the joke while Lucas blushes from embarrassment.

‘We’re just going to have a night in,’ Mimi answers. ‘We’ll see where that leads.’

‘Just don’t spend the whole night draining his love.’ James goes to the door. ‘Though, that would mean I only have to pay one of you.’

‘Unless you end up having to give me maternity leave instead,’ Mimi counters.

‘Actually, I wouldn’t mind that. I’m curious if you could mix a changeling and a unicorn.’

‘As am I, not that Lucas doesn’t try his hardest.’

‘Boss! Don’t you have somewhere to be?’ Lucas shouts before he gets too embarrassed.

James and Mimi laugh. The stallion waves and leaves the couple with the store. James goes across the street to Neighponese Imports.

‘Ohayo, sexy-kun,’ Daring greets.

‘I am going to take away your boss’ computer until she orders you to stop calling me that.’

‘Oh, you like it. What brings you here?’

‘Del is going to be alone tonight. Can you pop in on her?’

‘No prob! I’ll wait in your room for you to arrive, too.’

James groans and looks around. ‘Aren’t you supposed to have an assistant? I think I’d rather ask Flitter...’

‘Good luck. She is currently going through all of our mane and coat products for her date later.’ Daring looks around and whispers. ‘Is tonight the night?’

James leaves. ‘See ya, Daring. Don’t do anything stupid later.’

‘You can tell me! I won’t tell anypony!’

Flitter trots out of the back with two bottles in her wings. ‘Do you think he will like Hot Spring Delight or Super Sushi Surprise better?’

The annual Hearts and Hooves Day party at the Ponyville Schoolhouse is in full swing. Cheerilee and her students play games and exchange friendly cards. Del eats an entire bowl of candy, having gotten distracted from giving out her cards. Featherweight gives Scootaloo a card, earning the colt a kiss in return. Diamond Tiara, trying to ignore the class by sitting in the back, looks over her tablet and shoots the pegasus filly a quick glare. Truffle Shuffle taps Del on the back.

The filly jumps and almost drops the candy. ‘Did you want some too? Sorry.’

‘Um, sure. Thanks. Um, here.’

The colt gives Del a card. She looks at it and smiles.

‘Thank you. You’re sweet. Oh!’ Del gets out a card and gives it to Truffle. ‘Here you go too.’

‘Thank you, Del. This is really...’

‘Here, Twist. One for you too.’ Del says as she gives the other filly a card.

‘Thankth! You’re thweet!’ Twist replies, hugging the pegasus.

A light pink unicorn filly with a flower cutie mark sees all of the cards being given and turns away. She is about to storm off, but Del cuts her off and gives her a card too.

‘I made cards for everpony since all of you are my friends,’ Del tells the unicorn.

‘Thank you, Del,’ Toostie Flute replies.

Del smiles and goes back to giving out cards. Truffle and Tootsie sigh and watch the filly leave. Sweetie Belle storms past, grumbling. Back where she came from, Pipsqueak limps toward where Cheerilee and some students are playing.

‘Just have confidence. Confidence...’ the colt mumbles to himself. He takes a deep breath and taps Dinky on the shoulder.

‘Oh. Hey, Pip. What’s up?’

‘Well, uh, I just want to, uh...’ The colt tries rubbing the back of his head, but he winces and cannot raise his hoof above his knee.

‘Are you okay? You have a pretty big bruise on your leg.’

Pipsqueak looks back and gets a glare from Sweetie Belle. ‘I’m fine. Just slept on it wrong.’

‘Okay. What were you going to ask me?’

‘I was just wondering if you would, um...’

‘Hey, would you like to come over and hang out tonight?’

‘Really?’ Pipsqueaks voice cracks, getting laughs from the foals in earshot.

‘Mommy is finally going on a date for the first time in forever, and my sister will be out too.’

Pipsqueak tries answering, but all he can do is a nervous squeak. An older brown colt pushes the smaller one forward.

‘I’d love to!’ Pip blurts out.

‘Great! Come over around three.’

Pipsqueek nods and trots away. ‘Thanks, Lickety Split.’

‘Don’t freak out so much,’ the older colt advises. ‘Just be yourself.’

‘Don’t worry. I have plenty of help.’ Pipsqueak goes back to his desk and slips out a mobile. ‘Hey, Mr Stormy? I was able to get a date. Can we meet later?’

The colt looks up when Del shoves a card in his face. He takes it, and the filly moves on. She checks her bag. There is one card left. She snorts and takes it out.

‘Here,’ Del grunts as she holds the card in front of the recipient.

‘Ugh! You are blocking my screen,’ Diamond Tiara complains.

‘Just take the card.’

‘Whatever, weirdo.’

Del snorts and turns away. Diamond Tiara groans and goes back to her tablet.

Bon Bon takes a break from her customers. Thanks to her snacking through the day, Lyra’s muzzle, tail and the tip of her horn are free.

‘This was your best gift yet,’ Bon Bon says, wiping her mouth.

‘Feels good to move my tail again,’ Lyra replies.

Bon Bon licks her teeth. ‘So much chocolate. Colgate is going to kill me when I see her next.’

‘Oo! Invite her to help!’

The confectioner hits her wife, cracking the chocolate on Lyra’s head. ‘Are you proposing what I think you are proposing just because she is my ex?’

‘And a human too!’ Lyra grins. ‘I have some inside information.’

‘So... You are proposing what I think you are proposing?’

‘Yep!’

‘Pervert! That is worse than cutting your sandwich diagonally!’

‘What do you mean? I am just asking for you to get another mare to help you lick me all over. … OH! I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘How did you mean it?’

‘… … … I love you?’

Bon Bon groans and goes back to work.

Scootaloo flits out of the schoolhouse. Rumble watches her fly away before Silver Spoon drags the colt away. The rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders follow after their friend.

‘I can’t believe she has a date!’ Sweetie complains. ‘I mean, her!’ There is no response. ‘Apple Bloom!’

The filly looks around and slips a piece of paper into her bow. ‘Sorry. What?’

Sweetie groans. ‘Ugh! Never mind. If you want to do something later, give me a call.’

The two friends split up. Scootaloo flies around the school and catches up to Diamond Tiara heading out the back.

‘We still on for tonight?’ the pegasus asks.

‘After your shameless flirting with Featherweight?’ Diamond scoffs. ‘I thought you had forgotten about me.’

‘Well, he did give me a nice card, and he is really sweet.’

‘I can be sweet too! Why else would I use cherry mouthwash and lavender body wash?’

‘I don’t mean that kind of sweet. Geez! Did you even thank Del for the card? Everypony else did.’

‘Oh, good. She gave one to everypony. It would have been weird if she really liked me like that.’

‘Ya know, I don’t really feel like having a sleepover anymore.’

Diamond takes a deep breath and groans. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll be nicer.’

‘Can I pick the pizza we order tonight?’

Diamond groans even louder. ‘Fine!’

Scootaloo laughs. ‘Come on. Let’s get my stuff, and we can start our sleepover.’

Diamond sighs and follows her friend away.

Stormy comes out of the washroom with his mane styled. Rarity whistles at the passing stallion.

‘I didn’t know Trixie was in town again so soon,’ the mare says.

‘We’re meeting on Skype.’ Stormy looks his adopted sister over. ‘Shouldn’t you be getting ready?’

‘Ready for what?’

‘You’re not going out?’

Rarity sighs. ‘I’m getting tired playing the same games again and again. No more playing the field!’ She laughs. ‘I mean, it is not like the perfect stallion is going to trot through the door this very instant.’

The front door opens. Rarity gasps and gallops to greet the guest. Her hopes are instantly dashed.

‘Ahoy, fair maiden,’ Pipsqueak greets. ‘Is Master Stormy about?’

‘Back here!’ Stormy calls. ‘I’ll get you looking great for your special somepony.’

Rarity groans. ‘I’m going upstairs to a bath and a good book. Hmpf!’

The unicorn storms away, leaving the males to tend to their grooming.

Rumble strains his wings as he tries to stay in the air. The young pegasus fails to retain any height and falls to the ground. His crash is cushioned as he lands on Silver Spoon. The filly grunts as she becomes a pillow.

‘Sorry,’ the colt pants, picking himself up. ‘I’m just not strong enough to carry another pony yet.’

‘It’s okay,’ Silver sighs as she lifts her goggles. ‘You did your best.’ She kisses the colt on the cheek. ‘Thank you for trying.’

Rumble blushes. ‘N-no prob. So, uh, I heard the candy shop is having a sale. Want me to get you something?’

‘Yes, please. When did you learn to treat a lady so well?’

‘My brother taught me everything I know.’

Silver laughs as she follows the colt away.

‘Y’all have a date too!’ Apple Bloom moans.

‘Eeyup,’ Big Macintosh replies as he brushes his coat.

‘And Ah have t’ stay here with Granny Smith all by mahself?’

‘Eeyup.’

‘Can Ah go stay with mah friends instead?’

‘Nope.’

‘Can Ah invite mah friends over?’

‘Nope.’

‘Does Miss Cheerilee know ya were out with Miss Carrot Top last week?’

The stallion stops his prep and sweats. ‘... Nope.’

‘Can me and mah friends camp out in the clubhouse?’ Apple Bloom grins widely.

Big Macintosh groans, knowing he has been trapped. ‘Eeyup,’ he sighs.

‘Thank ya, big brother! Ah’ll go invite everypony right away!’

Apple Bloom happily prances out of her brother’s room to call her friends. She hops on her bed and reaches for her mobile on her night stand. She notices a small box of chocolates sitting by her mobile. The filly gasps and pulls the card off right away.

‘Hang in there. Love, SCS.’

Apple Bloom smiles and sighs as she calls her friends.

Sunshine stands in the middle of Canterlot train station. The bat pony captain of the Lunar Guard is decked in the navy blues of his dress uniform. Most travelers avoid the bat pony, many worrying that something dangerous is ahoof. The train from Ponyville pulls into the station. The Lunar Guard straightens up as he stands at attention. As the passengers exit, one of them notices the warrior and shakes her head and laughs as she comes over.

‘Y’all look silly,’ Applejack laughs. She reaches out and pulls the stallion’s eyepatch off. ‘Ya don’ need t’ wear that on our date. Not t’ mention, there is somethin’ wrong with yer mane.’

The bat pony blinks his exposed eye. ‘Sorry. I was trying that “messy” style you mentioned liking on our last date. I think I am doing it wrong. All of the mares back at base keep giving me disturbingly-affectionate looks, and Prince Shining Armor ran away screaming the last time he saw me.’

Applejack laughs again. ‘It does have a bit o’ power. Come on. Ya promised t’ show me the city.’

Sunshine smiles, bows and escorts Applejack away.

Apple Bloom climbs up to the clubhouse. Sweetie Belle is already laying on the floor on top of her sleeping bag.

‘Oh. Yer here already.’

‘Didn’t want to disturb my parents being all lovey dovey,’ Sweetie moans. ‘Wanted some privacy, so I came here already.’

‘Sorry. Didn’ know ya wanted t’ be alone.’

‘Nah. It’s all good. When’s Del getting here?’

‘Should be soon.’ Apple Bloom tilts her head. ‘Why are yer hooves and bed wet?’

Sweetie’s eyes dart. ‘Uh, I dropped my bed in a puddle on my way here.’

‘Ya need help drying it out?’

The unicorn laughs nervously. ‘I’ll be fine.’

Another sleeping bag drops on the floor.

‘Sorry I’m late,’ Del apologizes. ‘I couldn't find a pen to leave a note if my sister drops by, and Rei was hogging the washroom to get ready for her date.’

Sweetie moans and meekly raises a hoof. ‘Here is to the dateless younger sister club.’

‘Yay...’ the others groan.

Daring moans and reaches for a bottle as she lays on the couch. There is a loud pounding in her head. After a moment, she realizes the pounding is coming from the door. The pegasus gets up and answers. A very angry-looking white pegasus enters the apartment.

‘Boss?’ Daring mumbles. ‘I thought you were on a date.’

‘Silence!’ Full Moon snaps. ‘Your delay has made me quite hungry. I demand you take me out.’

Daring stares back. ‘You’re the other Full Moon.’ She drunkenly grins. ‘The legal Full Moon.’

‘And you’re drunk. Just tell me where to find my sister, and I’ll be on my way.’

Full Moon groans and starts to leave. Daring tackles the exiting pegasus and shoves her bottle in her mouth. Chrysalis drops her disguise and throws the pegasus from her back.

‘Fool! Your weak booze has no effect on me!’

‘Translation: you only prefer the expensive stuff.’

‘I don’t see how that is relevant.’

Daring goes back to the couch. ‘Well, Del ain’t here. Saw her flying off to spend time with...’ She notices a small box under the changeling’s wing. ‘Who’s that for?’

Chrysalis groans. ‘My sister. My fans sent me sickening amounts of chocolate for some reason. I wanted to devour it with her.’

‘Can I have it instead?’

‘Sure,’ the queen huffs, dropping the gift on Daring. ‘It is not like I like you or anything.’

‘Sweet.’ She starts eating. ‘Hey, want my help cleaning house? I think I know another pony who always up for some action.

Rarity lays in her bubble bath with her book over her eyes. Opalescence bats at her owner’s tail as it hangs over the side of the tub. The pony lets out a loud snore, blowing bubbles everywhere.

‘No thanks.’ Full Moon resumes her disguise. ‘I just want to go back to Neighpon and wait for this dreadful holiday to be over. False and overly-dramatic declarations of love are hardly a fitting meal. If the ponies were truly sincere, they would celebrate every day instead of ritualizing...’

Daring shoves the bottle back in Full Moon’s mouth. The assaulted pushes her attacker away.

Full Moon swaggers. ‘Your attempts to get me as blitzed as you will not work for you or your sexy ass.’

‘You, me, more of this chocolate and a soft bed, now.’

‘Took you long enough to ask.’ She trot to the door, running her tail across Daring’s nose. ‘Follow me.’

Full Moon stumbles out. Daring downs the last of the chocolate and follows.

James and Twilight sit in a restaurant and enjoy their dinner together. The ponies around them glance at the couple as if they are expecting something. The couple quietly eats.

‘You know, it is a year since our first date,’ James mumbles.

‘Even more reason to celebrate,’ Twilight giggles. She pauses. ‘Is there... something you want to... ask me?’

James stares at his plate. ‘... Not just yet. I have something special planned.’

‘Oh... Okay...’ She looks down at her plate but smiles. ‘It isn’t like we don’t know the answer already.’

James smiles. ‘Yeah...’

Twilight tries to eat, but she cannot help nervously fidgeting. ‘I know I am not the type that normally thinks about this sort of thing, but I may have started making some notes on the subject.’

The stallion blushes. ‘Oh. … Got a lot of notes?’

‘N-not really. I never really thought about this sort of thing. I don’t know where to start.’

‘Well, uh, I don’t know much either, but maybe we can go back to your place and start making plans. A little preparation goes a long way.’

Twilight blushes and nods. The couple returns to eating.

‘... I know I told you this already, but you look very beautiful tonight,’ James says.

‘... Thank you.... handsome.’

The couple exchange smiles and resume their meal.

Luna magically gets the chair for Cloudchaser as they finish their private meal in Luna’s wing of the castle. The couple trots out to a balcony and sit under the stars. Lights are on in Celestia’s and Discord’s areas of the castle.

‘I’m having a wonderful night. Thank you,’ Cloudchaser says.

‘I am pleased. I wanted tonight to be special for you.’

‘You have.’

‘What would you like to do now? I will make it come true.’

‘I don’t know,’ the pegasus hems. ‘Anything with you would be nice.’

‘Hmm... How about a fly around the city? We can see all there is see and maybe find something along the way. We could even catch the pony defacing all of the statues with rubber bands.’

‘Hee, hee. That sounds fun.’

The two ponies spread their wings and prepare to take flight. Luna stops, her ears twitching.

‘You must stay here, dear sister!’ the princess shouts as she lifts off.

Cloudchaser giggles at her date as they fly away.

After their date, Rei lays on top of Inkie at her fillyfriend’s apartment. The mares coo as they nuzzle each other.

‘Inkie-chan dai suki.’

‘I love you too, Full Moon.’

Rei nuzzles close and nibbles Inkie’s ear. The larger pony squirms under the small pegasus.

‘Inkie-chan liked that.’

‘My ears are... sensitive.’

Rei grins are gives another nibble.

‘Rei, stop.’

‘Sorry... but I was thinking...’

‘That’s never good...’

‘... Since we are pre-pre-pre-pre-super pre-pre engaged, maybe we can move our relationship up a step? Not really doing ecchi things yet! Just... have some more fun...’

‘How so~ooo~~~?’ Inkie moans as Rei nibbles her ear. She pushes Rei back a bit. ‘If you are going to tease me, you have to give me a way of fighting back?’

‘Good luck. I don’t have any non-ecchi weak spots.’

‘Cutie mark?’ Inkie asks, rubbing Rei’s side.

The pegasus shakes a little. ‘Not really. I don’t seem to react like everypony else. See?’

Rei rubs a hind hoof against Inkie. Even the hard hoof gets more reaction from the mare.

‘Okay... How about the ears like me?’

Rei shakes her head.

‘Wings and feathers?’

‘I preen all the time. Nothing.’

‘Hmm....’

Inkie leans up and kisses the joint between Rei’s wing and her body. The pegasus falls forward and moans.

‘Inkie-chan wins...’

Rei cuddles on top of her fillyfriend and coos. Inkie smiles and nuzzles Rei.

Bon Bon’s shop is closed for the night. Most of the shelves are empty thanks to the last minute rush throughout the day. Bon Bon left cleaning up for the next day. In the back of the shop, Lyra struggles to move. Her head and part of her neck are free in addition to her flank and haunches. The chocolate on her legs have melted onto the ground, but she cannot bend enough to eat herself free.

‘Bon Bon?’ Lyra calls. ‘Little help?’ She bends and snaps at her legs. ‘I’d like to go home now! … I’ll cuddle you all night! … Please? … I’m sorry that I said Berry has a nice plot! Yours is way better!’

Silence fills the shop.

‘Okay, Lyra. You are on your own, in your wife’s shop and coated in chocolate. I have to use all of my skills to get out of this predicament. Human Instinct! Activate!’

Lyra lights up her horn, surrounding her in an aura. When the aura dies down, nothing happens. The unicorn stands firm as if waiting for something. After several moments, the unicorn looks down.

‘Well, sh-’

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: One year since his first date with Twilight. One year going from just kissing to wanting to ask her to...

Story Timeline: Rei finally feels comfortable doing something slightly intimate with Inkie.

Fun fact: If I haven't said this before, 'messy' is how I describe TWP's mane style.

Fun fact: Del had to give out cards to all of her classmates (even the mean pink one) because of IRL events. When my grade school would force us to do card exchanges on this day, I consistently got less cards than everyone else despite the requirement to give cards to every student. It is my way of saying that you should treat everyone equal. It doesn't matter if they are nice to you or not, whether you are from the same area or moved from across the state, what you look like or find entertaining or who your friends are. On a day that is supposed to be about loving your fellow humans, treating someone different because they are different is the worst thing you can do.

Customer Appreciation

Main Characters: Neighponese Imports, Barnyard Bargains, The Power Block, Sweet Apple Acres, Marvelous Comics and Collectables, Carousel Boutique, Sugarcube Corner, Flower Trio
Cameos: Twilight, Trixie, Mayor Mare, Zecora, Blackberry, Lemon
Original Start Date: January 31, 2013

Daring yawns as she trots down from her apartment to Neighponese Imports. Rei and Flitter sit at the counter watching a broadcast from Neighpon. On screen, Full Moon answers a question wrong on a game show and gets doused with water. She cringes as she pushes her mane out of her eyes, which flash green for a moment. She smiles, baring her fangs, and continues the game. Rei and Flitter roar with laughter.

‘Poor Chryssy,’ Daring sighs as she goes to the back offices.

‘Ohayo, Daring-neesma!’ Rei calls.

‘Morning!’ Daring shouts back.

‘I did all of the paperwork for our taxes and prepared the cheques and order forms for our next shipments. I also left your mail on the desk.’

‘Damn laws keeping you from running your store just because you are still a teen,’ Flitter grumbles. ‘You are a better boss than most of my other employers.’

‘Don’t worry, Flitter-chan. I’ll be old enough next year.’

Daring returns, holding a letter in her wing. ‘Rei, what is this?’

‘A letter,’ the young mare replies, giggling.

‘Apparently, we are invited to take part in the Annual Ponyville Customer Appreciation Festival. The hell does that mean?’

‘I don’t know.’ Rei shrugs. ‘Daddy got one of those last year, but he didn’t do anything. I left it for you since I didn’t know what to do.’

‘What does the letter say?’ Flitter asks.

‘It just talks about the event.’ Daring scans the letter. ‘Blah, blah, events, blah, blah, competition, blah, blah, blah.’ She keeps scanning. ‘Oh.’

‘What?’ Flitter asks.

‘Before the competition, there is a big gala at Mr Rich’s house with free catering.’

‘Rich ponies’ food?’ Flitter drools a little. ‘What else?’

‘Uh, trophy, choosing events, celebrity judges, sense of community.’

‘Boring!’ the younger mares declare in unison.

Daring laughs and adopts a fake announcer voice. ‘Face the reigning champions, the Barnyard Bargains team of Mr Rich, his daughter Diamond Tiara, Righteous Midnight and Rainshine.’

‘Midnight...’ Rei growls.

‘Rainshine...’ Flitter sneers.

‘Rival much?’ Daring asks Flitter.

‘I would enter just to bring her down.’

Rei snorts. ‘I’d say the same about Midnight, but we shouldn’t act on revenge alone.’

‘Well, the invite says all businesses are welcome at the party. We can check it out and see if we want to enter.’

‘Hmm... Spoon-chan did tell me that Diamond-chan likes fancy foods,’ Rei notes.

Flitter motions a Pinkie Promise. ‘I won’t beat that daughter of a Diamond Dog to submission... no matter how much she deserves it.’

‘Sweet!’ Daring cheers. ‘I haven’t had fancy eats since I presented Luna’s ancient royal regalia in Manehattan almost sixty-five years ago. I ate so much I couldn’t get out of bed the next day.’

Rei giggles.

Flitter looks over the invitation. ‘Oh, sweet. Says here that they got Trixie as the celeb.’

On the night of the gala, Filthy Rich’s mansion is lit up. The host greets the groups as they arrive. Mr Rich kisses the hooves of a cream-colored mare, a light blue-colored mare and a fuchsia-colored mare as they enter. The Flower Trio giggles and joins the party. They trot through the mansion to a large hall filled with ponies.

Pinkie trots past the arriving ponies with a tray of treats on her head. In addition to helping cater the event, Pinkie and the Cakes are sizing up their competition. Carrot Cake chats with Marvel Crystal. Image Crystal stands at the back of the hall and mopes, having been recently dumped by Sunshine Drops. Stormy, wearing his tuxedo, brings his friend a drink. Rarity and Sweetie Belle greet other guests. Both are wearing new dresses for the occasion. Diamond Tiara rolls her eyes and trots back to the entryway.

‘Da~~d!’ Diamond whines. ‘Why do I have to be here? It is boring!’

‘Diamond Tiara, we’re the hosts of this event,’ Mr Rich reminds. ‘We have to put on a good show for our guests.’

‘But couldn’t I have invited one of my friends? I have nopony to play with.’

The stallion sighs. ‘You can always try making new friends. I know both Miss Rarity and Miss Applejack brought their sisters. You can play with them.’

‘UGH!’ the filly groans. ‘I’m just going find somewhere quiet and play Minecraft on my tablet.’

Mr Rich snorts and turns back to the arriving guests. He adopts a smile as the group from Neighponese Imports flies up. Flitter marvels at the mansion.

‘I’ve seen better,’ Rei comments.

‘Welcome, ladies,’ Mr Rich greets bowing, trying to ignore Rei's opinion.

‘Food’s in there, right?’ Daring asks.

‘Indeed it...’

Daring darts past to the hall. Rei and Flitter bow and trot into the mansion. Rei spots her friends and flies over to them. Flitter explores the hall. She passes Daring, who is stuffing her face with everything Pinkie and the other caterers bring out. The wandering pegasus comes across a table with several sheets of paper spread across it. A bored-looking Twilight Sparkle sits at the table.

‘What’s this?’ Flitter asks.

‘An anemometer,’ the bored alicorn groans.

‘Funny. Seriously? What's up?’

‘As one of the officials, Mr Rich asked me to be in charge of registration and event preparation.’

Flitter looks over the registration sheet. ‘Your coltfriend is on here.’

Twilight grins evilly. ‘Is he now?’ she cackles. ‘It wasn’t just me. Lucas, Mimi and Del all wanted to enter too. Are you going to sign up your shop?’

‘I don’t know... I’m not sure I’ll have the time if we do. I still have weather service duties.’

‘That’s too bad. All entrants tend to get time off from their normal employers as well as other perks.’

‘Time off... Hmm...’ Flitter smiles slightly. ‘What events are there?’

‘They haven’t been decided yet. Each business in town is allowed to suggest events, but the other judges and I pick the winners.’

‘There won’t be a beauty contest, if that is what you are thinking,’ a new voice says.

The mares look over to see an emerald green pegasus mare with a dark grey mane trot up. Flitter glares at the new arrival.

‘Not that you would even come close to winning with that rat’s nest on your head,’ Rainshine taunts.

‘At least I wasn’t born a stallion,’ Flitter replies. ‘Did it hurt when they cut it off?’

‘Pfft. Like you have ever seen one. Oh, wait you have. It is your right hoof.’

‘Sorry. I couldn’t hear you over how bad your breath is. You’re not supposed to drink from the toilet after you used it.’

‘Whatever. At least I am not secretly in love with my best friend. Everypony knows you are jealous of Cloudchaser and her fillyfriend.’

Flitter growls. ‘Attack me all you want, but leave my friends out of it.’

‘What friends? The mental case who thinks she is Daring Do or the psychotic filly who thinks she runs that crappy little store you work at?’

Flitter looks away and tries holding back her anger. ‘At least I wasn’t kicked out of the weather service for sleeping with my superior.’

‘Better job. Better hours. Nice try. Next time you are at your precious weather service, ask Blossomforth to teach you some flexes so you can kiss your own ass.’

Rainshine turns her nose up and trots away, shoving Flitter. The other pegasus takes several deep breaths. Twilight lowers her shield spell from around her and the table.

‘Rival much?’ the unicorn asks.

‘Is it that obvious?’

‘You’re sort of shaking all over, and I think I heard cleaner language in the last GTA game.’

‘Sorry. She just...’ Flitter growls and kicks the ground. ‘Have you ever met anypony that you just cannot stand? One that always gets under your skin? Somepony that just pushes all of your buttons at once?’

‘Fillies and gentleponies! The Great and Powerful Trixie has arrived!’

Fireworks shoot off behind Trixie as she joins the party. Stormy leaves his friends to see his fillyfriend.

‘Sorry. Forgot about her,’ Flitter apologizes.

‘I can get along with Trixie well enough. You and Rainshine...’

‘Oh, look! The open bar!’ Flitter says, dodging the issue and joining Daring at the bar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr Rich groans and stretches his neck as his next guests enter.

‘Come by the spa and we can help you with that,’ Aloe says while entering the mansion.

Lotus kicks her sister. Mr Rich smiles at the mares. More visitors arrive.

‘Sorry we’re late,’ Lucas apologizes. ‘Boss was... being stubborn. You can tell by his absence how successful we were at getting him out of the house. Del stayed behind as well. Something about "the pink one".’

Mimi bows. ‘Thank you for inviting us.’

Mr Rich laughs. ‘Come right in. I’m sure I’ll run into Mr Wanderer before the competition is through.’ He bows. ‘Make yourselves at home. Everypony is waiting for you.’

Everypony enters the mansion, with Mr Rich closing the doors behind them. Lucas and Mimi start going around the room, greeting everypony. Mr Rich takes a deep breath and scans the crowd.

The Flower Trio try to get Big Macintosh to react to their affections, the shy pony being quieter than normal. Sweetie Belle shows Apple Bloom her new dress. Rarity arranges her next spa trip with the Spa Twins. Flitter knocks back drinks at the bar. Twilight groans as Pinkie tries lifting her spirits. Marvel and DC have Trixie cornered as they pitch stories for her to use in her show. Rei and Daring have conquered a table and commandeered most of the food to themselves. The host smiles as he takes in the party. The smile disappears when he sees a dark blue unicorn approaching the feasting pegasi.

‘You owe me, you little bitch,’ Midnight snarls at Rei.

Rei turns and growls. ‘For what? Actually caring about Spoon-chan?’

‘I failed that class. There is no way I will graduate on time.’

‘Like you had anything to look forward to after graduation.’

‘I was trying to get into a good magic school! You ruined it!’

‘If you were failing a simple health class, how the hell would you have gotten into magic school?’ Daring asks. She shrugs. ‘If anything, it seems entry requirements have gotten harder since I was a prof.’

Midnight knocks a cake from Daring’s hooves. ‘Listen, you cosplaying weirdo. I had my future ruined by that half-sized freak! She owes me for what I lost!’

Daring stands. ‘Rei owes you nothing! You were the one throwing your life away! You were the one that abandoned Silver Spoon! You were the one that failed! She didn’t do anything except try to help both of you pass. If anything, you owe her.’

Midnight growls and charges a spell on his horn. Before anypony can react, a hoof connects across the unicorn’s jaw.

Flitter sways drunkenly. ‘I didn’t hit either of you two, right?’

Rei powers down a Thunder Shot. ‘Thank you, Flitter-cha...’

Rainshine knocks Rei aside and hits Flitter. Flitter tries to counterattack, but she misses and is hit in her wing. The emerald pegasus kicks Rei in the face and hits Flitter again. Her shoulder is tapped. She turns and swings but stops when she comes eye to barrel with Daring’s gun.

‘What now, bitch?’ Daring taunts.

Rainshine backs away.

Mr Rich clears his throat. ‘Miss Sparkle?’

Daring’s gun is levitated from her hoof. Rainshine sighs in relief as she watches the gun float above her head. She looks down in time to be floored by a punch from Daring. The conscious pegasus spits on the one at her hooves. Rei picks herself up and helps Flitter to her hooves.

‘I am sorry, but you have to leave,’ Mr Rich tells his guests.

‘What the hell? They started it!’ Daring protests.

‘But you are the only ones still standing. It would be best if you leave before I force you out.’

‘Whatever. Weak-ass party anyway. I’ve been to events at junior colleges better than this.’

Daring helps Rei with Flitter. They make their way to the exit. Mr Rich sighs and adjusts his tie.

‘At least we cleared the riffraff,’ the stallion snorts.

Daring stops and turns around. ‘You know what? We were just going to leave, wash our hooves of this and ignore your stupid event. But now, it is on. We will take you down in the most brutal manner. Twilight! Sign us up!’

‘Miss. Go home. You’re drunk.’

‘On your watered-down, weak-ass booze? Not likely. You can get a better buzz from cough syrup.’ Daring turns. ‘Come on, Rei. We can have our own party. With pizza and video games. In fact! Forget the party!’

Rei nods and sticks her tongue out at Mr Rich. The three pegasi trot away together. Mr Rich groans and holds his head. His leg is tapped.

‘Dad, can I go to their party instead?’ Diamond Tiara asks. ‘It actually sounds fun.’

‘No, Diamond...’ the stallion groans.

‘Fine! I’ll be in my room. All the fun seems to be over.’

Diamond trots away. Mr Rich groans and tries to recover the party.

The next morning, all of Ponyville is gathered in the main square. Several small groups in matching uniforms stand around town hall. Twilight and Trixie stand on stage waiting for the mayor. Daring yawns as she leads Rei and Flitter to the square. Rei adjusts an ice pack over the eye that Rainshine kicked. Flitter holds her head, battling a hangover. The group makes their way toward their place at the town hall.

‘Where’s the uniform, scrubs?’ Rainshine taunts.

‘Same place as your head,’ Daring replies. ‘Up your ass!’

Mr Rich holds Rainshine back. Diamond Tiara giggles. The pegasi reach their place. They stand beside the group from The Power Block.

Del leans over and sniffs. ‘Miss Daring and Miss Flitter smell like booze.’

‘We don’t smell that much,’ Daring replies.

‘Please keep it down,’ Flitter moans. ‘My head is killing me.’

‘Have a little too much fun, Rei?’ her father kids.

‘It was a lucky shot,’ the young mare snorts. ‘Won’t happen again.’

‘Was it the mean pink one?’ Del asks.

‘Del, shh. It is about to start,’ James warns.

The town hall doors open. Mayor Mare trots out with Zecora. The zebra joins Twilight and Trixie while the mayor goes to a podium.

‘Welcome, everypony, to the Annual Ponyville Customer Appreciation Festival!’ Mayor Mare declares.

The crowd cheers and stomps in excitement. Flitter covers her head and groans.

‘We have a lot of businesses competing this year, including some new ones. Our judges, Twilight Sparkle, Trixie, Zecora and I, have picked a number exciting events that will test everypony to their limits. The first event will be held in a couple hours in the bazaar. We hope to see everypony there!’

The crowd cheers again and starts breaking up. The teams start planning their strategies. Diamond Tiara just sighs and gets out her tablet while the older ponies talk.

James yawns and stretches. ‘Okay. That was fun. I’ll be in bed.’ He looks onto the stage. ‘Will I be seeing you later, Twilight?’

‘Yes, you will.’

‘Score.’

‘When you show up to all of the events.’

‘Son of a...’

Del trots over to the Sugarcube Corner team. ‘Do you have any treats?’

‘Sorry, Del,’ Carrot Cake apologizes. ‘We didn’t have any time to make anything this morning.’

Del frowns and turns away. Applejack stops her and give her an apple.

‘Here ya go. Don’ want ya t’ go hungry.’

The filly eats the apple in one bite. She smiles, baring her fangs. ‘Got any more?’

Applejack laughs and gets out more apples. In another part of the plaza, Rarity collects the rest of Carousel Boutique’s team bandanas to keep them clean. Stormy groans and folds his before levitating it to the mare.

‘STORMY!’

The young stallion turns in time to be tackled by a small yellow mass. Rarity screams and catches the bandana before it falls to the ground. Sweetie scowls when she sees what hit Stormy.

‘It is so great to see you again,’ Lemon Sorbet cheers as she nuzzles her brother.

‘Lemon? What are you doing here?’ the young stallion asks.

‘Good question,’ Sweetie snorts.

‘Sorry that we didn’t call,’ Lemon apologizes. She lets Stormy up. ‘I wanted it to be a surprise.’ She hugs Sweetie too. ‘Good to see you again, Sweetie Belle.’

‘Um, yes. Hi, Lemon,’ Sweetie replies.

Stormy gets a helping hoof up only to be hugged again.

‘Pretty good surprise, right, son?’ Blackberry asks.

‘Dad?’

‘When you told Lemon about this event, she got so excited that I just had to take her on a little holiday.’

‘You’re going to win everything, right, Stormy?’ Lemon asks.

‘I’ll do my best.’

‘It is a pleasure to see you again, Mr Sorbet,’ Rarity greets.

‘Lady Rarity.’ The stallion bows. ‘I look forward to seeing the games.’

‘Stormy~’ Trixie sings as she trots over. ‘Want the inside information to the first event?’

‘EEE!’ Lemon squeals. ‘It is Trixie!’

The mare poses. ‘Yes, I am great and powerful. Thanks for noticing.’

‘Trixie, your modesty is showing,’ Rarity groans.

‘Why, thank you.’

Rarity rolls her eyes. Lemon giggles and shakes Sweetie Belle. The other unicorn filly groans. The large group of unicorns head off together to catch up on current events.

A large crowd of ponies are gathered in the Ponyville bazaar for the first event: an ikebana demonstration as suggested by the Flower Trio. They are watching an arranger try her hoof at the art. The mare picks up a sprig with a bud on the end. The crowd gasps. The mare slowly places the sprig in her arrangement. A pegasus in the back faints. The judges clap their hooves and step forward.

‘Great job!’ Twilight cheers.

‘That is the most lovely arrangement Trixie has ever seen.’

‘I must have it in my office,’ Mayor Mare comments.

Zecora examines the arrangement. ‘This presentation makes me grin. I feel you should win.’

‘Ah shucks. Ain’t nothin’.’ Applejack blushes beet red.

Daisy looks over from her arrangement. ‘Oh, wow! That is amazing, Applejack.’

Rei finishes her display and sits back, smiling. The judges trot over to her section.

‘I know I still need practice, but I haven’t done ikebana since before I came to Ponyville,’ the young mare explains.

‘Very nice,’ Twilight says, marking her scorecard.

‘What a delightful presentation, Rei. It reminds me of a warm Spring day,’ Zecora adds.

‘That’s my girl!’ James cheers from the crowd.

The judges move to the next table. Del finishes chewing and drops some stems from her mouth.

‘These were tasty! More please!’ The filly holds out her hooves and grins green-stained teeth.

Twilight facehooves. Trixie and Zecora grin and laugh.

‘That’s my girl!’ James cheers from the crowd.

‘Ugh!’ Diamond Tiara groans. ‘You didn’t even try.’

The judges change stations. Diamond Tiara has her tablet out and is playing a game with Lily. A single flower sits in her display.

‘Is that it?’ Mayor Mare asks.

‘It is a minimalist design,’ Diamond retorts. ‘If you don’t get it, then you shouldn’t be a judge.’

The mare growls and marks a score.

‘Finished~!’ Rarity sings from her table.

Twilight cackles. ‘Oh, this is going to make up for my nest during Winter Wrap Up.’

‘Trixie can’t believe she found somepony that scored lower than Del.’

‘Your arranging skills are quite dire. The only solution is cleansing fire.’

Rarity screams, knocks over her table and stomps back to her team.

The town hall has been converted to a makeshift Kitchen Colosseum for a pastry competition proposed by the Cakes. Unfortunately, the ponies who proposed the event are feeling the strain as they try to recreate the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. They are unnerved by Stormy calmly sitting by his oven, waiting for his baking to finish. From the gallery, Sweetie Belle and Lemon cheer for their brother. Applejack and Granny Smith fry up a near-endless stream of fritters while their apple pies bake. Apple Bloom has to guard the pastries from her drooling brother. Rei flies from her station to retrieve a taiyaki covered in a lime green aura.

‘It was her idea,’ Lyra says, pointing to Bon Bon.

‘She’s... actually telling the truth this time...’ the earth pony sighs.

Rei snorts at both of them and returns to her station. James, Lucas and Mimi work together on their entry. They pass ingredients around and work on separate items. They each turn away to get out dishes.

‘Can I get the batter?’ Lucas asks.

‘After I get the frosting,’ Mimi replies.

‘What about the filling?’ James wonders.

‘It is all...’ Lucas turns. ‘Where is it?’

Mimi turns. ‘Where’s the frosting?’

‘Probably with the batter,’ James moans, lifting up a tablecloth to reveal Del covered in batter, frosting and custard filling.

The filly hobbles up and adjusts her tiara. ‘I am going to lay in the sun and bake for a bit.’

The others watch her trot away.

‘She knows she is going to get sick, right?’ Lucas asks.

James sighs. ‘Yeah. She knows...’

The other competitors start getting their desserts from the oven and begin dressing them. Apple Bloom has to smack James when he joins Big Macintosh in raiding the fritter hoard. Once every team is finished, the judges come out to sample the baked goods.

‘I finally get to try the MMMM,’ Twilight drools.

There is a flash as Celestia appears in the town hall. The princess steals a slice of MMMM before teleporting away. Twilight facehoofs. The judges mark their scorecards and move on.

Stormy sets out a treat covered in berries and creams. ‘My winning National Dessert Competition entry.’ The unicorn shrugs. ‘Nothing major.’

Celestia reappears, steals the dessert and disappears. Twilight’s groan echos off the walls.

Stormy sets another pastry on the counter. ‘Always make a backup.’ He looks up at the gallery and smiles. ‘I made another for my team while I was at it, since it was what helped reunite my whole family.’

‘Aw! That is so sweet,’ Mayor Mare coos.

‘Your dedication is not hard to see. Young Stormy truly loves his family,’ Zecora comments.

Trixie leans in. ‘You’ll save me an extra piece too,’ she whispers.

‘I did say my whole family.’

‘Thank you.’

Trixie quickly kisses Stormy’s cheek.

‘Hey!’ Twilight snaps. ‘No cheating!’

‘Oh, please,’ Trixie groans. ‘I’m as impartial as you are, what with your coltfriend being an entrant too.’

‘He gets no special treatment from me.’

‘Twi~li~ght~!’ James moans. ‘Del ate all of our ingredients. Can you give us a seventy percent score for me?’

‘No! No entry, no score.’

‘Please? Me love you long time.’

Twilight growls and bonks her coltfriend on the head while everypony laughs at them. The judges move on. Rei smiles and presents her entries. She quickly fires a Thunder Shot when a taiyaki starts levitating towards the gallery.

‘I didn’t know what to make, so I made a bit of everything I know.’

The mayor samples a croissant. She gets a moony look on her face.

‘Rei-pan #43,’ the young mare explains. ‘Three hundred twenty-four layers of love.’

Trixie tries a loaf of regular-looking bread and lets out a whinny of joy.

‘Rei-pan #24,’ Rei says. ‘Delicious, hai?’

‘You are a very close second to Stormy,’ Trixie replies, scarfing down more bread.

The young mare smiles. ‘It is all in the Solar Hooves.’

The judges mark their score and move on. Mr Rich presents them with a large array of treats.

‘Eat and enjoy,’ the businesspony says. ‘We used all of the best ingredients from around the world. I even got hold of several world-class recipes.’ He motions to an iced puff pastry. ‘Mulia Mild’s mille-feuille.’ Rainshine uncovers a tray of chocolate-filled pastries. ‘Gustave la Grand’s pain au chocolat.’ Midnight levitates a tray of doughnuts. ‘And Donut Joe’s famous Maresachusetts cream doughnuts.’

‘And Midnight helped make them too,’ Diamond Tiara gasps. ‘Here, I didn’t think he knew how to cook since he never made a single dish for Silver Spoon when they were assigned to live together.’ She looks up at the young stallion. ‘Remember that? When you were supposed to take care of her?’ She shrugs. ‘I guess not since you only picked her up once and yelled at her the whole time.’

Midnight looks down and growls at the filly. She glares back, her disdain for the young stallion manifest.

‘Diamond, not now,’ her father hisses.

‘These are good,’ the mayor notes, ‘but they just don’t have the flare the others do.’

‘Though your dishes are from masters of the art, they lack a certain heart,’ Zecora critiques. ‘Your team has to be more sincere if they expect to win a single event here.’

The judges move on. Rainshine huffs and eats one of the doughnuts. Mr Rich drags his daughter away to have a word with her. Diamond sticks her tongue at Midnight, knowing that will be one more thing she will be punished for.

Crowds gather outside of Rich’s Barnyard Bargains for the next event. The store has been cleared for the event proposed by the store’s owner: shelf stacking. While everypony gets ready, Mr Rich chats with Midnight next to a sign proclaiming the unicorn’s record speed for restocking the store. The other contestants take their places by their shelves. Rei stands out as one of the few non-unicorns competing. Sweetie and Lemon both give Stormy a hug while the goods to be stacked are brought out. Lucas laughs and whispers something to his team. James and Mimi laugh as well.

‘Something funny, Mr Grainsborough?’ Trixie asks.

‘Nah. Just saying that this will be easy,’ Lucas replies. ‘Barely looks like half the stock we move on a launch day.’

‘The test is about speed and care,’ Mr Rich snorts. ‘Not raw endurance.’

‘Whatevs.’

The contestants take their places beside their goods. Mayor Mare rings a bell. The unicorns instantly levitate all the goods. Each use their own methods of sorting and placing the items on the shelf. Lucas rapidly fires the items, moving them only when space is needed. Stormy places each in its proper space, slowly filling the shelf. Midnight organizes all of the items in the air. He moves items towards the shelf when the bell is rung again. The items are placed a second later.

‘We have a winner!’ Mayor Mare declares, holding Rei’s hoof high.

Midnight’s jaw drops.

Stormy laughs. ‘You fell into one of the classic blunders. Never go against Rei when speed is on the line.’

‘Yeah. Nopony is faster than her,’ Lucas agrees.

‘You go, Rei!’ a sky blue unicorn shouts from the crowd.

Midnight grumbles and storms away. James trots up to the shelves as everypony starts leaving. Twilight trots up next to him.

The stallion points. ‘Sorted linked list with insertion. Hash table. Merge sort. … Rei sort.’

‘Rei sort?’

‘An O(1) sort. Nopony knows how it works. Also known as a Discord sort.’

Twilight groans and trots away. James laughs and follows her out.

At Neighponese Imports, the staff is enjoying a successful day of competition. Rei has made a giant sushi platter for them to enjoy. Daring has even broken out some of her better drinks to share.

‘Kampai!’ the three pegasi cheer.

‘This was great!’ Daring laughs. ‘We won the one match and ranked towards the top on the others. We’re gonna smoke ‘em!’

‘We can’t just rely on Rei, though,’ Flitter warns. ‘We have to step up too.’

‘We have the athletic team events tomorrow and the finale after that. We’ll all have a chance to kick some flank.’

‘Yatta!’ Rei cheers before throwing back her drink. ‘Daring-neesama, your sake is weak.’

The pegasi laugh and continue their party.

Across the street, Twilight join James and Del for dinner. They are having some of Rei’s leftovers from the baking competition earlier. The young changeling stares at her plate, her stomach still hurting from earlier.

‘I can’t believe you aren’t cheating for us,’ James grumbles.

‘I was picked not just because I am the best pony for the job but because they know I can be impartial to all of my friends in the competition.’

‘Are you sure there is nothing I can do to convince you otherwise?’

Twilight laughs. ‘Sorry. No.’

James gets up and goes to the couch. ‘Not even belly wubs?’ He pats beside him. ‘I know how much you like belly wubs.’

‘Sorry. Not tonight.’ Twilight goes over and gives her coltfriend a kiss. ‘Get plenty of rest. You have all of the athletic events tomorrow.’

James groans and watches his fillyfriend leave. He feels movement on the couch.

‘I like belly wubs too,’ Del says, rubbing her head on her father’s chest, her horn scratching him a little.

James laughs and starts petting his daughter.

Diamond Tiara lays in her room, playing with her tablet. There is a knock on the door, and Mr Rich enters.

‘Tch! Can you at least wait for me to answer?’ Diamond groans. ‘I could have been indecent.’

The stallion sits on the bed. ‘Diamond Tiara, we have to talk about your behaviour earlier.’

The filly moans. ‘What? I did my best today. Okay?’

‘It isn’t that, though you could have tried harder at flower arranging,’ Mr Rich huffs. ‘I am upset about your attitude towards Midnight.’

‘You know why I don’t like him. He was mean to Silver during that assignment. He is not a nice pony.’ She snorts and goes back to her tablet. ‘I don’t know why you still employ him.’

The stallion takes the tablet from his daughter. ‘He might not be the best at customer service, but he is a hard worker.’

‘And that is why he lost his signature event today.’

Mr Rich snorts. ‘I know he hurt your friend, but that doesn't mean you cannot get along for the rest of the competition. Can you at least do that much?’

Diamond thinks for a moment before sighing. ‘You can keep my tablet. If I answered honestly, you were just going to take it away anyway.’

Mr Rich groans and drops the tablet on the bed before storming away.

Stormy, Sweetie Belle and Lemon play in the stallion’s room. They eat some ice cream Lemon made to go with their pastry. Outside, Rarity smiles as she watches the fun. She turns away to see Trixie watching the others as well.

‘This is something I miss,’ Trixie sighs. ‘I don’t get the feeling of family on the road.’

‘You have a place in town, correct? You could have it more often if you settle down.’

‘My career and talents won’t let me just yet.’ Trixie sighs. ‘It would be wonderful if Stormy could travel with me.’

‘As much as you would like that, he has a life here,’ Rarity counters. ‘Not only does he have his education to think about, but it would devastate Sweetie Belle to lose her beloved brother.’

‘But he would be getting the chance to see the world with the pony he loves. He would also be able to see his family more often.’

‘He has a family here. Blackberry and Lemon understand that they are free to visit whenever they wish. Even if family wasn’t an issue, he still has to finish school.’

‘He gets the top marks in all of his classes. He doesn’t need more education. It would be better for him to experience the world.’

Rarity takes a deep breath and shakes her head. ‘I think it is best we agree to disagree. We both love Stormy and want what is best for him, but we have different visions of how that should be accomplished.’

Trixie nods. ‘Agreed, but in the end, the decision should be his. We shouldn’t dictate his future for him.’

‘Right.’ Rarity looks back towards the room the turns and smiles at Trixie. ‘Would you like some coffee while you’re here?’

‘Is that a bribe?’

‘Depends on how many gems I would have to lace your mug with.’ Rarity laughs. ‘No, it is just as two ponies who love Stormy. I as his sister. You as his lover.’ She smiles. ‘And perhaps, one day, something more.’

Trixie blushes and looks away. ‘Coffee would be nice. Thank you.’

The competition has moved to Sweet Apple Acres for the athletics portion of the competition. The fields for the Sisterhooves Social are full of spectators watching the hoof wrestling competition suggested by Ponyville High School. To one side, the defeated competitors rest their sore forelegs. Lucas uses a healing spell on James’ limp limb. Aloe stands to the side and giggles, waiting for her turn to to massage the sore leg. Lotus waits by the stage for the current match to finish.

Stormy and Image struggle to get an advantage on each other. The two friends are straining all of their muscles to no avail. Neither the baker nor the artist can get the other to budge. Unfortunately for the teens, the crowd seems to think it is a battle of strength, not lack thereof. Nonetheless, the epic showdown fuels Lemon’s and Sweetie Belle’s mythologies about their brother. While Image struggles, Stormy takes in the other competitors.

Big Macintosh rests with his sisters, having turned down Lotus’ offer of a massage, much to the mare’s disappointment. His match against Stormy’s mentor lasted mere seconds. Waiting to compete, Flitter and Rainshine exchange furious glares from opposite ends of the stage. Only Zecora’s presence as a referee seems to be keeping them from starting a brawl.

Stormy lets his leg go limp and hit the table. ‘You win.’

Zecora holds Image’s leg up. ‘Stormy has been beat. Image has done a marvelous feat.’

The two teens trot offstage.

‘Have fun facing Big Mac,’ Stormy taunts as he gets fawned over by his sisters.

Flitter and Rainshine trot onto stage and start doing their warm-up stretches. Blackberry trots beside Mr Rich.

‘Care to make a wager on the outcome?’ Mr Rich asks.

‘I can waste some pocket change...’ Blackberry looks the pegasi over. ‘Twenty thousand on the lilac one.’

Mr Rich stares at the unicorn in shock.

‘Oh! Did you want to make it really interesting?’

‘Never mind,’ Mr Rich mumbles and trots away.

The pegasi take their seats and lock hooves.

‘I eat pieces of crap like you for breakfast,’ Rainshine snorts.

‘You eat pieces of crap for breakfast?’ Flitter laughs.

‘Shut up and do this.’

The two mares try with all their might to force the other’s hoof down. Rei and Daring scream encouragement from the sidelines. Mr Rich cheers on Rainshine. He taps Diamond who mumbles a cheer while staring at her tablet.

Rainshine smirks as she gets the upperhoof. ‘I’ll always be better than you.’

‘You never were to begin with,’ Flitter snorts.

The lilac pegasus grits her teeth and forces her way back. She growls and slams Rainshine’s hoof to the table. Flitter cheers and jumps up.

‘You are indeed the winner, dear Miss Flitter,’ Zecora congratulates.

‘Ugh! If you are going to rhyme, at least make them good ones,’ Trixie groans from the judge’s table.

‘Do you not like the way I speak, one with ears so weak?’

‘Yes! Those rhymes are getting annoying! Stop it!’

Zecora glares at the irritated unicorn. She smiles and laughs. ‘If you hate my speech / do not make a large to-do / I change for Trixie.’

Twilight groans and hits her head against the table.

Trixie shrugs. ‘Well, at least it is classier than rhymes.’

‘Will Image arrive? / It is time for his next match.’ -- Zecora motions to the remaining teams. -- ‘Flitter or Big Mac?’

Image looks at his two options. One is an earth pony twice his size. The other is a skinny pegasus flexing her muscles for her teammates. ‘Pass!’

The scared young stallion gallops offstage while the crowds laugh at the embarrassed pony. Stormy waves his friend over.

‘Sorry, bro. Didn’t mean to throw you to the manticores,’ Stormy apologizes.

‘It’s cool,’ Image sighs.

‘Sorry for your loss, Mr Image,’ Lemon says, offering a bowl of ice cream.

‘Thank you.’

Back on stage, Flitter and Big Macintosh get ready for their match. The small pegasus growls and smirks playfully. The large earth pony sighs, sits and carefully wraps his hoof around Flitter’s. Zecora signals the start of the match. Flitter starts pulling as hard as she can. Big Macintosh is impressed that the mare can actually get his foreleg to budge slightly.

‘Ah’m sorry, Miss Flitter,’ Big Macintosh sighs.

The stallion finally flexes his muscle and ends up tossing Flitter from her seat. The crowd laughs while the mare stands and adjusts her bow.

‘Okay. That was fun,’ the dazed mare comments.

‘A winner is got. / Big Macintosh wins the pot. / Cheer for all the lot!’

The crowd starts cheering for the match.

‘Damn it! You’re rhyming again!’ Trixie shouts.

Zecora laughs and raises Big Macintosh’s hoof as high as she can. The stallion extends his hoof higher, lifting the zebra. Trixie laughs as Zecora tries not to fall.

The competition moves into the apple orchards. The Sweet Apple Acres’ proposed event of applebucking is proving popular to watch and a good source of free labor. The spectators dodge loose apples while they move around the orchard. Applejack and Apple Bloom lay out empty barrels under the trees between each round. Marvel Crystal and Carrot Cake rest their sore legs while their wives move on to watch the rest of the competition.

To make up for her loss in the last round, Rainshine is pushing herself to her limits, dashing from tree to tree and bucking as hard as she can. The pegasus bucks a tree right as Twilight blows a whistle. Apple Bloom helps shake the last few apples loose before Applejack takes the barrels to Granny Smith and Rarity for sorting.

‘Ya got at least five full barrels,’ Applejack congratulates. ‘Not t’ mention the partially filled ones.’

‘Whatever,’ Rainshine scoffs. ‘We’re just doing what yer too lazy to do.’

Applejack snorts and carries the barrel away.

‘Competitor from Carousel Boutique. You’re up!’ Twilight calls.

‘Yeah. That ain’t happening,’ Stormy replies.

‘What? You afraid to ruin your hooficure?’ Rei taunts.

‘Honestly?’

Twilight groans and goes down her list. ‘Okay. Neighponese Imports.’

Daring trots out to the center of the her area. The crowds laugh, thinking the mare is wearing a Daring Do costume, complete with pith helmet. Twilight counts down and blows her whistle.

Daring takes off to the trees. She bucks as hard as she can before moving on. The mare keeps mental note of time as she goes. When she sees Twilight about to raise her whistle, Daring pulls off her helmet and throws it at the trees. It knocks down the last few loose apples before time is up. The crowd cheers the impressive show. Daring bows and rejoins her team.

‘Hmm... Coulda knocked more down...’ Applejack comments as she carries the barrels away.

‘Woulda done better if I were knocking down snakes,’ Daring says back.

Applejack groans as she deposits the apples.

‘Power Block. You’re up,’ Twilight calls.

‘Can you let us go last?’ James asks. ‘It is fairer to the other teams that way.’

‘No offence, Jimmy,’ Applejack begins, ‘Ah doubt y’all can match Big Mac. He coulda cleared this whole orchard in a day.’

‘Um... Just let me go last. Please?’

Twilight groans and waves Big Macintosh into the orchard. The large stallion positions himself between a cluster of trees. Twilight blows her whistle. Big Macintosh takes off and starts bucking trees. His strength and speed allows him to quickly clear every tree he reaches. By the time the whistle is blown again, at least a dozen trees have been emptied of their apples. The spectators, especially the mares, cheer for the stallion as he trots off the field.

‘Shoot! Ah think ya set a new record!’ Applejack congratulates.

Big Macintosh glances toward the stallion his sister likes. ‘Eeyup.’

James either ignores or does not pick up on the taunt while he fiddles with his sonic screwdriver. He wanders out to the field. Twilight sighs and blows her whistle. James adjusts his sonic a moment more and points it at the ground. He waves his sonic around for a few seconds and goes back to the sidelines. Twilight just keeps watching the clock. After a few seconds, the ground shakes and all of the apples start falling from the trees. The spectators try shielding themselves as they get rained on. The Apples stare in shock at all the apples they have to clean up.

James looks out from under the shield Lucas raised for the team. ‘New record?’

After a communal effort picking up all of the apples, the competition has moved back to the main field. The teams line up around a track for a small relay race. Cheerilee suggested the event with some very specific rules. James talks with Del and Mimi while everypony is getting ready. Applejack and Apple Bloom line up next to them. The mare snorts at the stallion and turns away.

‘Not gonna cheat in this one?’ Applejack grumbles.

‘I didn’t cheat!’ James defends. ‘I used all of my resources. I just don’t hide mine under my hat.’

‘Ah only use it fer repairs ‘round the farm! ‘Sides, thought ya said it didn’ work on wood?’

‘The ground ain’t wood, Applejack,’ Apple Bloom corrects.

The mare snorts, scowls and begins her stretches. Stormy gives Sweetie Belle a hug before she and Rarity trot to the track. Diamond Tiara sighs and leaves her tablet on the sidelines with her father. She joins Midnight on the field. Rei and Flitter start heading out, but Zecora stops them.

‘You must stop right here. / Teams must have a foal to play. / One of you must stay.’

‘Um... We do have a foal on our team,’ Rei says, looking around.

‘We do?’ Flitter asks.

‘Yeah, uh...’ Rei spots somepony and grabs her. ‘Scootaloo! Tori-chan is on our team!’

‘What?’ the filly yells as Rei holds her up.

‘Is this true, young Scootaloo?’

The filly looks around. ‘Well, uh...’

Daring leans in and whispers, ‘If you help us win, I’ll get you a new scooter.’

‘Yeah! I am totally part of the team and stuff!’

Zecora glares at the team smiling before her. She sighs, shakes her head and gives the pegasi a baton. Rei sets Scootaloo down, and they head to the track.

‘Whoa! What the hell!’ Midnight complains.

‘What now, Midnight?’ Trixie groans.

‘The little twerp doesn’t even work for them. How can you allow it?’

‘Please,’ Diamond moans. ‘She at least goes to their store all the time. Seriously, she is in there more than I am at my father’s store. If you aren’t going to count her, you might as well not count me.’

Midnight looks down and growls at Diamond.

‘She can enter,’ Trixie says as she goes to the sidelines.

‘Thanks a lot, brat,’ Midnight hisses.

‘Whatever,’ Diamond tosses her mane over her shoulder. ‘Makes the race more interesting.’

The unicorn growls and takes his place. The teams line up along the track. The foals hold their team’s baton in their mouths. The friends look at each other, trying to gauge their competition.

‘Go, Del! Yay, Rei!’ a sky blue unicorn cheers.

‘Hey, squirt!’ Rainbow Dash calls from the sidelines. ‘Kick some flank!’

Scootaloo smiles and kicks the the dirt. Apple Bloom adopts a stance similar to her friend. Sweetie waves at Stormy one last time. Mimi whispers something to Del. Their legs flash green for a second and both smile, exposing fangs. Trixie casts a small firework spell, and the foals take off. The older ponies take their spot on the line.

‘Ah hate t’ tell ya, but AB is the best athlete in school,’ Applejack brags.

‘Tori-chan is faster,’ Rei counters. She turns to Mimi. ‘But Del-chan is pretty good too.’

‘Hmpf!’ Rarity snorts. ‘Sweetie Belle and I have been training for the next Sisterhooves Social. We’ll outclass you all.’

Applejack looks to the sidelines. ‘Is that true?’ she asks Stormy.

‘Yep. They will whip all of you at synchronized candy eating and professional complaining.’

Rarity growls at her adoptive brother. The others laugh and watch for their teammates. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo lead the pack with Del not far behind. Sweetie Belle has a slight edge on Diamond Tiara. Apple Bloom gets close enough to throw her baton. Applejack catches it with her tail and takes off. Not to be outdone by her friend, Scootaloo tosses her baton up and headers it to Rei. The pegasus catches it mid air and disappears in a streak of lightning. Del gallops up to Mimi and gives her the baton. Sweetie uses her magic to throw her baton. Rarity catches it with her magic and chases the others. Diamond Tiara gallops up to Midnight. She still holds the baton in her mouth.

‘Come on! Give it!’ Midnight shouts.

Diamond removes the baton and holds it in her hoof. She looks to the sideline where her father and Rainshine are screaming at her. ‘No.’

‘What?!’

‘I don’t care how much trouble I get in for this, but I hate you for what you did to my friend. You are a cruel, heartless pony. The sooner everypony sees that the better.’

Diamond turns and throws the baton as far away as she can. She starts turning back, but she is locked in a dark blue aura.

‘You little bitch!’ Midnight shouts as he lifts Diamond from the ground. ‘You think you can get away with this just because you are a rich, spoiled brat!’

‘My dad is watching,’ Diamond snorts.

‘Midnight!’ Mr Rich bellows from the sideline.

The unicorn panics and drops the filly. Before either stallion can react, Midnight is blown away as Rei dashes past him. Diamond breathes a sigh of relief and gallops over to her friends.

Rei spits the baton out of her mouth. ‘Did I win?’

The Neighponese Imports team celebrates another successful day of competition. Their party is tamer than the previous one since Scootaloo is joining them. The pegasi salute with their sodas.

‘One more day and victory is as good as ours!’ Daring cheers.

‘Any idea what is waiting for us?’ Flitter asks.

‘Who cares? As long as we show up, the trophy is as good as ours!’

‘You are going to honor our deal, right?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘We’ll buy you the bestest scooter, Tori-chan!’ Rei replies, hugging the filly. ‘You did amazing!’

‘Th-thanks.’

‘Seriously, kid. You’re great,’ Daring compliments. ‘You can work for us as soon as you are old enough.’

‘Or when your mommy allows it,’ Rei adds.

Scootaloo blushes from being praised by her idol’s idol. Flitter laughs and gives the filly one of Rei’s fresh croquettes.

‘Come on! Eat up! We can’t let Rei beat us to all her good food.’

Scootaloo laughs and joins in the feasting.

Diamond Tiara lays on her bed and plays with her tablet. There is a knock before the door opens. The filly groans, closes her program and holds up her tablet.

‘You are either here to apologize or to punish me for the race,’ the filly moans. ‘All ready for you to take it away.’

Mr Rich huffs and looks away from his daughter. ‘I am going to demote him back to his original position until he is eighteen. Then he is fired.’

‘Can I at least sue him for assaulting me?’

Mr Rich takes a deep breath and turns away. ‘Dinner is in five minutes. Wash up before then.’

Flitter escorts Scootaloo home after the party. The two pegasi laugh and joke as they make their way through the streets. The two ponies near the part of town where Scootaloo lives. The filly looks up to the mare escorting her.

‘You really think Rei would hire me?’

‘Sure,’ Flitter replies, ‘but she wouldn’t want you to miss out on your CMC duties. Then, of course, she would want you to follow your dreams.’

‘Heh, heh. Yeah. Gonna be a Wonderbolt like Dash one day.’

Flitter giggles. ‘CC would love to have you join too.’

‘That freaky-maned loser will never get in.’

The pegasi stop and look around. Rainshine trots from the shadows.

‘Just because the Wonderbolts aren’t like you and lets everypony in...’ Flitter sneers.

Rainshine growls and glares at the other mare.

Scootaloo looks at the two mares. ‘Rival much?’

‘Stay back,’ Flitter warns. ‘She might be a weakling, but she is a dirty, cheating bitch.’

‘You’re one to talk.’ Rainshine starts circling the others. ‘I was the only one that got caught. Everypony knows you should have be busted too.’

Flitter pushes Scootaloo behind her. ‘I haven’t even been with my current coltfriend yet. Not everypony considers hanging a “free admission” sign under their tail “dressing up”.’

Rainshine flares her wings. ‘Why don’t we settle things tonight?’

‘I don’t think we will ever be settled’ -- Flitter flares her wings and kicks the ground -- ‘but I don’t mind putting you in your place for a while.’

Rainshine snorts and fakes a lunge, trying to draw Flitter out. The lilac pegasus holds her ground. She sweeps her tail in the dirt and dusts up a cloud. Rainshine jumps through the cloud, but Flitter jumps up and rams her skull into Rainshine’s jaw. The emerald pony lands and stretches her mouth. She charges forward with her wings spread. Flitter swings and hits her rival across the face, cutting her with her hoof. Rainshine slides past, the two pegasi’s wings clashing. Flitter winces and steps back. She reaches under her wing and pulls back a hoof covered in blood.

Rainshine raises her wing. ‘Underwing knife. The great evener.’

‘You bitch.’ Flitter holds her wound and falls over.

‘It won’t be too long.’ She leans face to face with her rival. ‘Goodbye, Flitter.’

The emerald pegasus turns to leave.

‘H-Hello? Emergency services?’

Rainshine stops to see Scootaloo with her mobile out.

‘Guess I have to tie up some loose ends.’

The older pegasus dashes forward and shoves her wing into Scootaloo’s chest. She holds the filly up for a second before dropping her. Rainshine snorts before spreading her wings to take off.

‘Ow! That hurt!’ Scootaloo moans.

‘What!’ Rainshine spins around to see the filly rising. ‘That’s impossible!’

‘Ha! I’m tougher than you think,’ Scootaloo snorts. She wipes blood from her chest. Her wound is rapidly disappearing. ‘So glad I had a big meal.’

Rainshine steps back in terror. Scootaloo charges forward and rams her head into the mare. The older pegasus drops her knife as the wind is knocked out of her. She quickly backs away and takes to the air. Scootaloo picks up a rock and throws it after the attacker. She growls and goes back to Flitter.

Flitter rests in a bed in Ponyville Hospital. Her side has been wrapped, but a bit of blood is staining the bandages. Cloudchaser sits by her friend. She has a furious scowl on her face. Rei, Daring and Scootaloo are with their friends.

‘She’ll be fine,’ Cloudchaser growls. ‘The attack barely hit her organs but if Scootaloo hadn’t been there, she might have bled to death. Thank you.’

‘J-just doing my part to help a friend,’ Scootaloo stammers.

‘Have you contacted the police?’ Daring asks.

‘They came when I called for the medics,’ the filly replies. ‘They said they will be searching for Rainshine.’

‘I called Luna too,’ Cloudchaser adds. ‘She promised the full force of the Lunar Guard will bring her to justice.’

‘Mommy will find her. I am sure,’ Rei assures.

‘I asked if she could make all of Rainshine’s dreams into nightmares. She said that would be irresponsible.’

Daring pats the other mare on the back. ‘Don’t worry, Cloudchaser. Flitter was our friend too. We’ll stick with you until she is better.’

‘No...’ Flitter moans from her bed. ‘You have to win.’

‘Get your rest,’ Cloudchaser sighs. ‘You need to conserve your strength.’

‘No. Win the games. Don’t quit because of me. Winning is the best revenge.’

Rei takes her friend’s hoof. ‘You have our word.’

‘Hell, yeah!’ Scootaloo agrees.

The rest of the team put their hooves in and cheers.

The next day, a large crowd is in the town hall. The sewing competition suggested by Rarity is turning out to be surprisingly entertaining. The fashionista dazzles the crowds with her magical dressmaking. Across the hall, the spectators laugh as Mimi curses up a storm in her attempts to sew. The mare screams and rips the dress to pieces. She catches herself and grins ashamedly as cloth hangs from her fangs. Granny Smith slowly works on part of a quilt. Daisy sews flowers into a blouse in her team’s area. Scootaloo holds up her attempt at sewing. Her mother facehoofs as the crowd laughs.

‘Six legs!?’ the filly exclaims. ‘But I followed Sweetie’s instructions perfectly.’

Midnight grumbles to himself as he does what he considers an unmanly task. On the other hoof, Marvel Crystal seems to handle himself quite well as he works on a needlepoint design.

‘Finished~!’ Rarity sings as she lays out her designs for judging.

The judges trot over to inspect Rarity’s dresses.

‘Please don’t consider it a bribe, but I tried to personalize the designs for each of you.’

‘Thank you, Rarity. This is very lovely,’ Twilight compliments, examining her dress. ‘Too bad it would be unethical to accept this until after the competition. Right, judges?’

‘Yes, uh, unethical.’ Mayor Mare’s eyes dart as she finishes fitting her dress.

‘What dress?’ Trixie asks, retying her cape over her new garment.

Zecora examines her body in her new clothing. ‘This pony garment / fits strangely on me. / Haunch adjustment?’

‘Am I the only one here with morals!’ Twilight snaps.

‘Well, excuse me, princess,’ Trixie groans.

Twilight growls at the unicorn. The rest of the judges move on. Twilight looks at the dress.

‘Take it. You know you want to,’ a voice whispers in her ear.

‘Yes, it is so you, darling,’ another voice whispers.

‘You would look so cute in it.’ -- sniff, sniff -- ‘Ooo! You had corncakes with extra honey this morning!’

Twilight yells and pushes Rarity and Pinkie away from her.

‘Take it, Twilight. Take it~!’

The alicorn swats a miniature Discord on her shoulder. She snorts and joins the rest of the judges.

The contestants and spectators wait outside town hall as the next event is set up. The crowds are buzzing about Rainshine’s disappearance and the massive increase of bat ponies as the Lunar Guard hunts their prey. Applejack nervously watches the Lunar Guard, just in case Sunshine is about. The judges come out and stand before the gathered ponies.

Mayor Mare clears her throat. ‘For the next event, the teams will be...’

‘Playing Mare-io Kart,’ Twilight groans.

‘YES!’ James shouts, double hoof pumping.

‘You can guess who suggested the event,’ the alicorn sighs.

‘Forfeit!’ Stormy shouts for his team.

‘Ditto!’ the Crystal family adds.

‘We’re out,’ Applejack says, getting a sad moan from her sister.

‘Pfft! Weaklings,’ Rei snorts. ‘You’re going down!’

‘Right. You can’t beat me,’ her father counters. ‘I taught you everything you know.’

‘You’re just scared. I can beat you with one hoof tied behind my back.’

‘Deal!’

‘Wait, no! I didn’t really mean it.’

Twilight sighs as the father and daughter enter the building. The spectators follow to watch the showdown.

After a quick round of Mare-io Kart that ended with Rei flying to Fluttershy in tears, the competition is heading to Sweet Apple Acres again for the final event. The teams speculate on what will come next. There is a flash from the field as Twilight teleports ahead of the crowds with the rest of the judges.

‘Welcome, everypony, to the last event in the Annual Ponyville Customer Appreciation Festival!’ Twilight declares.

Trixie casts a few firework spells in celebration.

‘Before we reveal the final event,’ Mayor Mare begins, ‘we would like to thank every team that participated as well as the other businesses that sponsored the competition and all of spectators who came out to cheer everypony on.’

Zecora bows. ‘Everypony / Thank you with all of my heart. / Final round, begin!’

The crowd cheers and gallops ahead to see what is in store for the competitors. Everypony stops and marvels at a giant multi-stage obstacle course. There is a rope swing over a pit of mud, large cargo net climb leading to a zip-line, a small maze, hurdles of varying height, swinging foam-covered logs over a balance beam, and a ramp with reverse-running treadmills.

‘Cool! You got my design!’ Daring cheers.

‘Yes, it seemed to make a good finisher,’ Mayor Mare compliments.

‘Doesn’t look complete though...’

Twilight rolls her eyes. ‘Well, we couldn’t find the lions, tiger, bears...’

‘Oh, my!’ Trixie interjects.

‘... poisonous snakes, pressure switch activated dart shooters, quicksand, really quicksand, pit of spiders or alligators.’

‘Oh! One sec!’ Pinkie dashes off and returns with Gummy on her head. ‘Found one!’

Twilight groans at her smiling friend. The teams start debating who should run the course. Lucas rolls his eyes and lets James take the field. He immediately gets out his mobile and starts entering commands. A sky blue unicorn cheers for the stallion. Blackberry pats his son on the back as he takes the field next to his mentor. The two stallions hoofbump. Applejack adjusts her hat as she joins the stallions at the starting line.

‘Any last words, Jimmy?’

‘You can do it, Applejack!’

The mare jumps and looks around. She finds an armored bat pony waving from the sidelines. She nervously trots over.

‘Sunshine? What are you doing here?’

The bat pony smiles. ‘Since I am the captain of the Lunar Guard, I decided to abuse my rank a little to see you compete. I know it isn’t right, but I really wanted to see you in action.’

Applejack blushes and tries hiding her face. ‘That is sweet of ya. Thanks fer comin’.’

The mare gives Sunshine a quick nuzzle and hurries back to the starting line.

‘Think your coltfriend is here,’ James notes, not looking up.

‘Ah know that!’

Daring trots towards the starting line. Midnight groans and turns to head to the start.

‘What’s the matter? Have to send somepony to do your dirty work like you did with Flitter?’ Daring calls to Mr Rich.

‘I had nothing to do with that disgusting attack,’ the stallion snorts back. ‘I have cooperated with the authorities in every way.’

‘Still means yer a chicken for not wanting to get your hooves filthy. I was doing this sort of thing before your dad was stinking up his crib.’

‘I am not afraid to get my hooves dirty. I just happen to not be as athletic as the rest of the team.’

‘Not what your secretary says.’ Daring shrugs. ‘Or maybe it is and you have to replace her when she gets bored of all the nothing.’

Mr Rich growls. ‘My name may be Filthy, but you are the vulgar one.’

‘Whatever. Skybound had a bigger pair than you when it came to getting his hooves dirty.’ Daring sighs. ‘I guess they don’t make evil industrialists like they used to.’

‘Madam! If you are so desperate to challenge me, so be it.’ Mr Rich stomps over to Daring and glares at her. ‘I will not have you dishonor me further.’

‘See you from the finish line.’

The two ponies go to the starting line. With every team ready, the judges take their positions around the track. They nod, and Trixie casts a firework spell. The ponies take off. Applejack stumbles a little knowing Sunshine is watching her. James remains seated at the starting line. The ponies struggle up the treadmills and make their way across balance beam. Stormy takes a log to the side and falls into the mud below. He climbs out as the others reach the hurdles. Applejack and Daring leap over the hurdles while Mr Rich ducks the higher ones. Daring is the first to reach the rope swing, but her forelegs slip and she falls into the mud. Applejack crosses and is the first to enter the maze. Daring struggles to get free while the others cross above her. Mr Rich slips a little, but he is able to pull out of the mud with ease unlike the hapless pegasus.

‘Damn it! Let go!’ Daring shouts at the mud.

Rei paces as she watches her teammate struggle. She stops when she sees a small band of blue around Daring’s hind leg. The small pegasus growls and slips into the crowd.

At the back of the crowd, Midnight uses his magic to hold Daring down. He keeps a foreleg out to keep Diamond at bay as she struggles to stop him.

‘Knock it off! You’re cheating!’ the filly screams.

‘You want to win, right?’ Midnight snorts. ‘With my help, you dad will win, and I’ll get my rightful position back.’

‘If it is money you want, I’ll pay you to stop!’

Midnight kicks Diamond to the ground and steps on her. ‘Free lesson: even a spoiled bitch like you can’t buy everything she wants.’

‘Let her go!’

Midnight looks up to see Scootaloo galloping at him. The young stallion knocks her down and stands on her as well. Both fillies struggle to get free. A small burst of lightning hits the young stallion, causing him to let the fillies free.

‘Pick on somepony your own size,’ Rei growls.

‘You? What can you do?’

‘Scoots, Diamond, stay back.’

The fillies nod and hide behind Rei. The young mare growls and charges her electric affinity around her body. The tips of her wings and hooves turn black, her mane appears slightly ethereal and she seems to grow half a meter. Midnight releases his spell on Daring and starts charging another spell on his horn.

Rei stares down into Midnight’s eyes and growls, ‘I’ve waited a long time for this...’

Freed, Daring darts into the maze and starts making quick work of it, passing Stormy. Mr Rich passes Applejack as the mare gets a hind leg tangled in the cargo net. The stallion makes it down the zip-line and gallops towards the finish line. Applejack’s troubles are made worse when the net heavily shakes as Daring charges to the top. The pegasus holds the zip-line with her wings so she can hit the ground running. She gains on the out-of-shape stallion. Mr Rich looks back and pushes harder. He turns forward right when a loud crack rings across the field. James appears mere meters from the finish line.

‘Ha!’ The Wandering Physicist points at Lucas. ‘Told you I could get the transmat working!’

The Smug Physicist’s taunting is cut short when Mr Rich runs into him. Daring gallops past the tangled stallions. The pegasus crosses the finish line and looks back at her competitors. The spectators cheer the victory. While the stallions untangle themselves, Applejack gallops past to get second place. The judges trot to the finish line to congratulate the victorious mare. Twilight uses her magic to lift the stallions to their hooves. She drags her coltfriend away to lecture him about using alien technology to cheat at races.

Electrical energy diffuses around Rei as she stands over Midnight. The young stallion twitches a bit and gasps for breath. Scootaloo and Diamond stare in shock at what they just saw. Rei turns around and lifts Scootaloo to her back.

‘He’s alive, but it wouldn’t hurt to get him some medical attention,’ the young mare advises. ‘We should leave or else we might get in trouble too.’

Rei trots away to celebrate her friend. Diamond watches the young mare leave before turning back to Midnight. She trots over to the injured stallion. She glares down at him and snorts. Midnight tries to speak. Diamond smirks evilly and turns away. She slowly trots off to ask Nurse Redheart for help.

Flitter smiles as she holds the trophy her team earned. Rei, Daring and Scootaloo are having a small victory party in the injured mare’s hospital room.

Cloudchaser raises her drink. ‘Here’s to Neighponese Imports, winner of the Annual Ponyville Customer Appreciation Festival!’

‘Kampai!’ the pegasi cheer, before drinking.

Daring catches Scootaloo as the filly starts swaying. ‘Don’t worry, Scoots. You’ll get used to sake soon enough.’

‘Hopefully by the time Flitter-chan heals so we can have a real party!’ Rei adds.

‘I can’t wai...’ Scootaloo falls back into Daring’s wing. ‘You know. You look a lot like Daring Do.’

Flitter giggles. ‘I’m sure I’ll be well enough soon.’ She sets down the trophy. ‘Do any of you know what all of the commotion was about before you got here?’

‘It was Midnight,’ Rei replies. ‘He came down with a case of heart attack at his team’s loss. It was very... shocking.’

‘Ugh! That pun was horrible.’

The pegasi turn to see Diamond entering the room.

‘Hey, sexy,’ Scootaloo coos.

‘You are such a lightweight,’ the pink filly sighs, sniffing her friend’s cup.

‘Can we help you, Miss Tiara?’ Daring asks, shifting Scootaloo from her wings to her back.

‘Just coming to congratulate your victory. The best team definitely won this year.’ She looks up at Daring. ‘I would ask for an autograph, but all of my copies of your books are digital.’ She trots around the room. ‘My dad is very angry, but he’ll get over it. He is a bit of a jerk at times, but he comes around.’ She swoons as she samples one of Rei’s mochi. ‘I am really sorry for everything my team did. I didn’t even want to compete.’

‘Told ya Diamond was good and beautiful,’ Scootaloo laughs from Daring’s back. She hiccups. ‘And her mane smells like strawberries.’

‘Thank you, Miss Tiara,’ Daring says.

‘Please. You can just call me Diamond. Any friend of Scootaloo’s or Rei’s is a friend of mine.’

Rei laughs and lifts Diamond to the bed with Flitter. Daring sets her friend next to her. Scootaloo smiles and leans in for a kiss. Diamond sighs and kisses her friend. Cloudchaser places a plate of treats in front of the pink filly.

‘Now, I believe we were having a party,’ Flitter laughs.

‘Kampai!’ all of the ponies cheer before knocking back their drinks.

Daring has to catch Scootaloo again before the filly falls over.

Diamond look at her cup. ‘Do you have anything stronger?’

Author's Note

I know this is a long one, but I put a lot of small jokes and references in it. Any comments on your favorite ones or points where they just made you groan would be nice.

Fun fact: Trixie's line was the first reference I wrote to Princess Twilight Sparkle. It is also a bonus reference for the nerds out there.

The Real Nightmare

Warning! - Due to the events seen in S4E1-2, this chapter has been safely removed from TWP canon. Please just enjoy this chapter as a fun story and pay it not heed moving forward.

Main Characters: Luna, Celestia, James, Dusk
Cameos: None
Original Start Date: March 25, 2013

Luna yawns as she trots back to her room. She has just returned from several days of trade negotiations with the Thestral Empire. She wishes that the Crystal Empire did not have to be sealed away because of King Sombra. It used to be a much shorter flight for her wings. The princess moans and considers calling the royal masseuse to her room. She pushes the door open and trots straight to her bed.

‘Welcome back, princess,’ a pair of voices say.

The princess looks up. A pair of unknown ponies stand by the door. One is a brown earth pony stallion with a messy black mane. The other is is a purple unicorn mare wearing a simple necklace who looks like she could use a massage more than Luna does.

‘Who are you? What happened to Miss Featherbottom?’ Luna asks.

‘She won the lottery,’ the stallion explains.

‘We don’t have a lottery.’

‘I know. What a mare?’

The unicorn groans and facehooves.

Luna giggles. ‘Lucky her. Back to my original question, who are you?’

‘They call me James, I don-’ the stallion starts.

‘Why?’ Luna asks. ‘That is an odd name.’

The unicorn laughs. ‘That’s what I keep telling him.’

‘Are you two married?’

Both ponies tense up and look away, blushing.

Luna giggles. ‘You look cute together, James and..?’

‘My name is Tw-’

‘She is Dusk Shine,’ James interrupts.

Luna bows slightly from her bed. ‘Welcome James and Dusk. Given your presence and my earlier questioning, I assume you are my new attendants.’

‘Indeed we are,’ Dusk replies. ‘You will find I am quite adept at scheduling and have rearranged your appointments to better fit your duties.’

Luna tilts her head as she examines the unicorn in front of her. ‘I take it that “big magenta star” means “expert scheduler”.’

‘I am quite adept at many things, from research to test-taking, specializing in mag-’

‘And what are your talents?’ Luna asks James.

‘I have no clue. I’m just here because of a pretty face.’

‘Aw, James,’ both mares coo. They turn and growl at each other.

‘Anyway,’ Luna sighs. ‘I am quite tired from my trip. If you can have the chefs prepare me a small meal, I would like to retire for the night.’

‘Yes, princess,’ the ponies say, bowing.

James and Dusk leave Luna to rest. The princess moans and stretches on her bed.

James and Twilight work in one of the TARDIS’ kitchens. The stallion happily whips up a meal for Luna. On the other hoof, the mare has her perception filter off and flips through notes on her mobile.

‘I thought you said we were going to see the rise of Nightmare Moon,’ Twilight complains.

‘We are. Look how evil she is making her assistants slave over a stove all night for her.’

‘You’re doing that voluntarily.’

James holds out a spoon to Twilight. She groans, takes a bite, then swoons.

‘That good?’

Twilight snorts. ‘You got lucky.’

‘I could make it for you every night.’

The princess blushes. ‘Are you asking me to..?’

‘So! What other arguments do you have about how we are in the wrong time?’

Twilight looks at her notes. ‘Well, we are in the right time period, but she is not behaving like Nightmare Moon. She doesn’t even look the part.’

‘Tell me again how Nightmare Moon came about?’

Twilight groans. ‘The legend says that Nightmare Moon did not want to lower the moon one night and wanted to plunge the world into eternal night. When I asked Luna and Celestia about it, neither wanted to give me an answer. I asked my mom about it, but she couldn’t find anything in any of the records.’

‘Interesting,’ James notes, sampling his dish before plating it. ‘So there is no formal record about Luna’s actual banishment?’

‘What are you getting at?’

‘A thousand years is a long time. Truth gets distorted and becomes myth. Facts become twisted into legends. The monster manual I left in the library will one day become Tobin’s Spirit Guide.’

‘I used Tobin’s in school.’ Twilight glares at her coltfriend and growls. He places a treat in front of her. ‘But I think I see your point. We lost almost all record of the Crystal Empire after Sombra’s defeat.’ She sighs happily. ‘That library.’

‘I’ve seen the stain.’

Twilight snaps to attention. ‘That wasn’t me!’

James laughs and picks up a tray of food. ‘Get some rest. We’ll be busy in the morning.’

‘Sunshine, sunshine! Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!’

The half-asleep Luna stares at the large, white rump in her face. She groans and looks about the room. James holds what appears to be a small, thin piece of metal. Dusk holds her head.

‘The sun has barely come up,’ Luna moans. ‘How can you have that much energy already?’

‘Come on, sister,’ Celestia teases as she hops from the bed. ‘You can get an early start one of these mornings.’

The older sister laughs as she prances from the room. Dusk groans. James approaches the bed and holds out a cup.

‘Here,’ the stallion offers. ‘Dark chocolate cappuccino. Your favorite.’

‘My favorite what?’ Luna asks, sniffing the brew.

‘Try it. You’ll like it.’

Luna sips the coffee. Her eyes go wide, and she takes a long drink. ‘Amazing. This is the greatest brew I have ever tasted.’

‘Wait until you try Code Red,’ James laughs.

Luna takes another sip. ‘So, Miss Dusk, what do I have on my agenda for today?’

Dusk checks her mobile. ‘Well, you have plenty of time for breakfast before your meeting with the representatives from the newly-founded colony of Neighpon.’

Celestia pops in. ‘Actually, that sounds pretty fun, so I’m taking that one.’

‘Okay... There are meetings with ministers from...’

‘Luna doesn’t really have much experience dealing with ministers,’ Celestia says. ‘I’ll handle them.’

‘I don’t have any experience because you don’t let me meet with them,’ Luna grumbles.

‘You’re not the most... relatable pony, what with your night stuff.’

‘It is my responsibility to watch over the night and protect ponies’ dreams. Our parents left me that duty!’

‘And you are doing such a good job of it,’ Celestia coos. ‘Just leave running the kingdom to me, and you can play with your friends until night time.’

The older princess happily trots out of the room. Luna magically slams the door, falls into her pillow and lets out a muffled scream. Her coat turns slightly black during the scream.

‘She never lets me do anything! Ever since we met Discord! I never get to do anything I want!’

‘Since Discord?’ Dusk asks.

Luna rolls over. ‘We were foals. I thought we found a new friend.’ She sighs. ‘He was one of my few friends when we got older. Celestia became more demanding as we got older and our parents left us to our duties. She became more focused on ruling than being a sister. Discord was the only one who understood me.’

‘Discord?’ Dusk is incredulous.

‘Shh!’ James hisses.

Luna moans. ‘It was good we sealed him, but it hasn’t been fun since then.’ She covers her head with a pillow. ‘I feel like I am beginning to forget what fun is.’

‘It can’t be all bad,’ Dusk says. ‘You just got back from a trip.’

‘Seeing Osiris and Isis is always fun, but that was just because Celestia did not want to make the trip.’ Luna moans again. ‘They are more her friends than mine anyway.’ She snorts. ‘I don’t have any friends any more. Nopony enjoys my nights. They think I’m a creep.’

‘That’s not true, princess,’ James assures. ‘We’re your friends.’

‘You just met me.’

‘Princess,’ Dusk begins, ‘I know a lot about friendship’ -- James snickers -- ‘and I know that your opening up to us is a sign of true friendship. We trust each other. We’re friends.’

Luna lifts the pillow from her head. ‘We are?’

‘And friends help friends,’ Dusk says, sitting on the bed. ‘Now, since your schedule just got cleared’ -- Luna moans -- ‘what do you want to do today?’

Celestia storms through the palace gardens. As she marches, she hears the disturbance that drew her away from her duties. The laughter and squawking grows louder with each step. The princess rounds a corner to see her sister and her two new attendants playing with a phoenix. The remains of a picnic sit to one side. Luna looks over and instantly freezes when she sees Celestia’s glare.

‘G-good afternoon, sister,’ Luna greets.

‘What do you think you are doing?’ Celestia growls.

‘W-we were j-just having a picnic.’

‘You are disturbing my meetings.’

‘W-we didn’t mean to. We were just having fun.’

The phoenix lands next to Celestia and mimics her movements.

‘Fun? Fun?! While you were so busy having fun, I was in meetings and dealing with running our country all morning. I cannot believe my own sister would dare shirk her responsibilities like this!’ She pauses. ‘And get your damn bird back to her cage!’

The phoenix flies back to Luna and cuddles up to the princess.

‘It is okay, Philomena.’ Luna glares at Celestia. ‘Why are you so upset? You took all of my responsibilities. I have nothing to do all day. Where is the harm with the princess having a picnic with her friends?’

Celestia snorts. ‘Friends? What do you know about friendship? Of course you think your servants are your friends after Discord traumatized you with his perverted ideas of what friendship could be.’

‘But Friendship is one of the Elements I control...’

‘And Honesty is one of mine.’ -- James snorts, getting a punch from Dusk -- ‘So believe me when I say that it is best for you stay out of the public eye until you are ready to be seen by our subjects.’

‘But, I want to interact more! Our subjects are afraid of me. If they could just get to know me better, I am sure we can get along.’

Celestia shakes her head. ‘We both know you are antisocial and temperamental. Once you learn to control yourself...’

Luna kicks the ground, raising a divot and scaring Philomena away. ‘I am only like this because you never let me do anything! I keep begging you to let me out, and the only things you let me do are away from our subjects.’

Celestia sighs. ‘Those assignments teach you responsibility. While you were causing trouble with Discord, I was ruling Equestria. You have a lot of catching up to do to rule properly.’ She turns away. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work.’ She starts trotting away then stops. ‘Oh, and clean up this mess.’

While Celestia trots away, Luna closes her eyes and suppresses a scream. Her coat turns black while she controls her emotions. Dusk trots over and puts a hoof on Luna’s shoulder.

‘Princess Luna? Are you okay?’

‘I am not, Dusk Shine. I most certainly am not.’

A sky blue unicorn trots down a hall in Canterlot Castle. He adjusts his glasses as he takes in every aspect of the grand palace before him. Suddenly, the young stallion turns around and heads the opposite direction when he sees somepony approaching.

James and Dusk trot through the halls towards Luna’s room. Dusk levitates a tray of food above her while her companion fiddles with his mobile.

‘I am starting to regret asking for this trip,’ Dusk huffs.

‘Not liking the picture it paints of Celestia?’

Dusk groans. ‘That and it feels bad not being able to tell Luna that everything will work out for her.’

‘Are you going to risk changing history?’

‘Never! I just don’t want her to be upset anymore.’

James stops and kisses Dusk. ‘You are easily the best Element of Friendship ever.’

Dusk laughs and kisses James in return. A door opens while the ponies are kissing.

‘Please let me officiate the wedding,’ Luna asks. ‘It would help my public image and be a great way to repay your kindness towards me.’

The couple breaks the kiss and blushes.

‘Sorry,’ James apologizes.

‘It got away from us,’ Dusk says.

‘Quite all right,’ Luna giggles. ‘Who am I to come between two ponies in love?’

‘Can I hold you to that?’ Dusk asks, earning a gentle kick from James.

Luna giggles again. ‘You two are by far the cutest cou...’

The princess stops as her ears twitch. She steps out of her room and heads down the hall.

‘She heard,’ the others sigh.

Dusk leaves the meal in Luna’s room and follows the princess. Luna continues through the halls until she reaches a ballroom. The guards outside salute the princess.

‘What is going on?’ Luna asks.

‘Reception for the visiting delegates,’ a guard asks.

‘Why wasn’t I informed?’

‘Princess Celestia said that you were busy.’

‘But, I... Open the doors.’

The guards look at each other then crack the door. Luna looks in at the royals celebrating. Celestia sits at the head of a grand banquet table. She sees Luna looking in and smirks. The older princess shakes her head. Luna frowns and backs away.

‘I’ll be in my room,’ the dejected princess mopes.

Luna drags herself back to her room, leaving her friends behind.

Twilight paces in the TARDIS, her wings flared in anger. James sits by the door, watching her. He taps his mobile while keeping his eyes on Twilight.

‘I can’t believe her!’ Twilight shouts. ‘Her own sister and fellow princess! Luna should have been there! I am going there right now and giving her a piece of my mind!’

‘Causality!’ James argues.

Twilight glares into her coltfriend’s eyes. ‘I don’t care if it causes me to never exist. Sisters should not treat each other that way!’

‘I’ll keep that in mind if we ever have daughters.’

Twilight instantly turns red with embarrassment. ‘If we have foals?’

James blushes too. ‘Figure of speech?’

The mare smiles coyly and kisses her coltfriend. ‘Care to make it literal?’

‘Is this a trick to get me to move so you can yell at Celestia?’

Twilight runs a hoof down James’ cheek. ‘A little from column A, a little from column B’ -- she gives him another, longer kiss -- ‘and maybe hoping for some column D.’

James laughs. ‘That is the strangest dirty talk I have ever heard.’

‘Are you going to move or not?’

‘Only if you are going to join me in comforting Luna.’

Twilight glares and growls. ‘Fine. But you owe me.’

James sighs. ‘I know.’

The stallion stands and opens the door. Twilight dons her perception filter and marches out of the ship.

The next day, Luna has been in her room all day. James and Dusk try their best to coax her out, but she will not leave. Celestia trots up to the room. The two attendants look up from a game of cards. Dusk snorts and turns away.

‘Is she not coming out again?’ Celestia groans. ‘She is like this all the time.’ She lets out a loud sigh. ‘I guess I have to make up another fake diplomatic mission just to make her feel special.’

The princess trots away grumbling to herself. Dusk throws down her cards.

‘How can she be that way? She is not like that when we are from.’

James calmly collects the cards. ‘A thousand years is a long time to change. We know she is compassionate underneath it all. She just needs to be be reminded of that.’

‘She needs a kick in the butt,’ the unicorn snorts.

‘This is Celestia we are talking about.’

‘I don’t care if it is my mother. I am this close to shoving my crown up her...’

The door opens behind the ponies. Luna looks out at her attendants before magically dragging them inside. James and Dusk try looking around, but Luna’s chambers are dark. Luna lights her horn.

‘I assume you are wondering what I have been up to all day,’ the princess states.

‘Maybe just a little,’ James replies.

‘We’ve been so worried about you!’ Dusk exclaims. ‘We missed you.’

‘Are you okay?’ James asks. ‘You were pretty upset last night, and you locked yourself in here all day.’

Luna laughs. ‘That’s because I was working on this!’

Luna illuminates the room. It is full of moon-themed, occult and other bizarre decorations. Luna has fashioned a costume out of armor for herself. James and Dusk stare in shock.

‘Do you like it?’ Luna asks. ‘Last night, I got thinking. How can I be more social with other ponies? Then I got the idea. We should have a party! I’ve been working on it since you left last night. I cannot wait to tell Celestia all about it!’

The princess giggles and bounds out of the room. James takes some pictures of the room.

‘Did we just witness the founding of Nightmare Night?’ Dusk asks.

‘Come on,’ James encourages. ‘We don’t want to miss the big reveal.’

The ponies gallop from the room. The make their way through the palace to the throne room. Guards block them, but Dusk casts a spell that paralyzes them.

‘Sorry,’ the unicorn says as she ducks past.

The ponies skid to a stop. The guards recover and follow. Luna, in her costume, is explaining her idea to a bemused Celestia. The older sister watches impassively as her enthusiastic sister speaks.

‘...And there will be costumes and decorations,’ Luna explains. ‘Everypony can give away candy and treats to each other. There will be games and dancing. Most importantly, there will be fun! There will be so much fun it will be double! The night will seem to last forever! Wouldn’t that be great, sister? Everypony will have fun and get to know me and we will all be happy.’

Celestia takes a deep breath and shakes her head. ‘Sister, you try much harder than you should. Do you really think ponies would want to come to a party you throw?’

‘It is a party! What does it matter who throws it?’

‘Oh, Luna, you will never learn. If you keep going down the path you are on, our subjects will never accept you.’

Luna growls and stomps the ground. ‘If I cannot interact with them, they won’t accept me either!’

‘Watch your temper, Luna. And take off that silly costume. You look like a foal.’

‘What’s the difference? You keep treating me like one.’

‘I am trying to teach you how to behave like an adult. You are the one who constantly flouts my teachings.’

‘I don’t want you be my teacher. I want you to be my sister. Is that so much to ask? Have you forgotten how?’

Celestia stands and glares at her sister. ‘How dare you say I haven’t been a good sister. I have done nothing but support and guide you since our parents left. I even allowed you to date that pest! This is how you repay my good nature? Have you learned nothing?’

‘I have learned something,’ Luna snorts. ‘I learned that I will have to take action into my own hooves if I want results.’ She turns around. ‘I am throwing my party, whether you like it or not.’

Luna starts storming away. A magical field surrounds her.

‘Get back here,’ Celestia snaps. ‘I am not through with you yet.’

‘Let me go! I have work to attend to.’

‘There will be no party since you are banished to your room until you learn some responsibility.’

‘Yes, take away my no responsibility to teach me about responsibility.’ Luna claps her hooves. ‘Mares and gentlecolts: my sister, the great teacher.’

‘Shut up! You’re stupid.’

‘Name calling? I thought you said I was the foal.’

Celestia marches from the throne. ‘You’re stupid and dumb, and I’m in charge so go to your room, stupid head!’

‘Wow. I thought she was exaggerating,’ James mumbles.

‘Oh, great,’ Celestia moans. ‘You’re embarrassing me in front of your staff. Very mature, sister.’

‘I did not know they were here,’ Luna retorts. ‘But at least somepony else will know how impossible you are being.’

‘Me?! Impossible?! HMPF!’

Celestia turns, accidentally slapping Luna with her tail. Luna growls and gives her sister a small push.

Celestia gasps. ‘She attacked me first! You all saw it!’

‘You slapped me with your tail!’

‘You hit me!’

‘I barely nudged you.’ Luna lets out a loud groan. ‘Can I just go to my room?’

‘Oh, you can start a fight, but you can’t finish it.’

‘I don’t want to fight anymore,’ Luna sighs. ‘I’ll forget about my party if you just start treating me fairly.’

‘Very grown up. You don’t stand up for something you want and just go to your room to cry about it. Well, go ahead and cry, you big baby. Big crybaby Luna.’

Luna pushes her sister again. ‘There! That is a real shove!’ She turns away. ‘I’m really leaving!’

Celestia growls and knocks Luna to the ground, knocking off her crown. ‘You want to shove me! Prepare for consequences!’ She pushes Luna as she tries standing. ‘You big dummy.’

Luna tries getting up, but Celestia pushes her again. The downed princess growls. Her eyes flash and her coat briefly appears black. She swings a hoof and punches Celestia’s muzzle. The older princess tumbles back and hits her head on her throne. Dusk gasps, but James holds her back from helping.

‘I hate you!’ Luna shouts, standing. ‘I don’t want to live on this planet anymore!’

Celestia picks herself up. She touches her face and notices blood coming from her nose. She growls. ‘That can be arranged!’

Celestia charges a spell on her horn. Subconsciously, she taps into the powers of the Elements of Harmony in her and Luna’s crowns. Celestia shoots a beam of light that hits Luna in the back. The younger princess screams then disappears. Celestia stands, panting, blood dripping from her nose. The magic fades from her horn and the Elements of Harmony.

‘Princess,’ Dusk gasps. ‘What did you do?’

Celestia blinks. The realization of what she just did hits her. ‘Luna? Luna! Luna, I’m sorry!’ She gallops over and picks up Luna’s crown. ‘Come back, Luna. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Luna...’

Dusk reaches for Celestia, but James pulls her back. He shakes his head. Dusk tries breaking free, but James does not let go.

‘We don’t want to be here,’ James warns. ‘Trust me.’

‘But she needs somepony right now.’

‘Okay. Let me word it another way. I can’t be here right now if we want the universe to exist.’

James pulls Dusk. She looks back at Celestia then follows as James gallops away. Twilight deactivates her perception filter and bumps her coltfriend.

‘Why couldn’t we stay?’

‘You know how I occasionally go back and give Celestia hell?’

Twilight growls. ‘Yeah...’

‘Well, let’s just say that before I get better at it, somepony is going to show up and start yelling at her for banishing her sister.’

They stop outside of the TARDIS, and James lets them in. Twilight punches James in the shoulder then goes to start the TARDIS.

‘You went back and teased her?’ the princess snorts.

‘Like I said, I wasn’t that good at it yet.’ James pulls a lever and the ship powers up. He sits in a nearby seat. ‘It was horrible. I yelled at her, and she just stared at me through her tears. If she hadn’t expended all of her magic, I would have been up there right now too.’

Twilight trots around the console and punches James again. ‘You’re a monster.’

‘I know...’ James sighs and stares at the floor. ‘Once I came to my senses, we went to Luna’s room and talked. Remember how it looked like Nightmare Night?’ Twilight nods. ‘Celestia was the one who started the holiday. She wanted some way to honor her sister.’

‘But the statue in the Everfree?’

‘You think Chrysalis’ mother was the only thing Nightmare Moon sent back?’

Twilight sighs and sits besides James. ‘I still can’t believe Celestia acted like that.’

‘Who better to remind her how to be a sister than herself?’

Twilight moans and cuddles up to James. ‘You’re still an ass for what you did to Celestia.’

‘Why do you think I try to make it up to her every chance I get?’

Twilight giggles. ‘And that is why we all love you.’

Luna looks up from her computer when she hears a TARDIS materializing. She turns to see a new door on her wall. She laughs and waits for the door to open. Twilight steps out, much to Luna’s surprise. The younger princess trots over and hugs the Princess of the Night. James leans against the doorway and smiles.

‘This is most surprising, Twilight Sparkle,’ Luna says, returning the hug.

‘I couldn’t give you a hug earlier, so I’m hugging you now,’ Twilight explains.

‘Earlier? What are you talking about?’

Twilight lets go and smiles. ‘Nothing. I’m just glad you are here and happy.’

Luna looks up at James then back at Twilight. ‘If you keep spending time together, you’ll become the same pony.’ She laughs. ‘I’ll even officiate the wedding, in that case.’

Twilight and James blush and kick the ground. Luna laughs.

‘We should be going,’ James says. ‘I promised Del I would help her with a school project.’

Twilight nods. She goes to the TARDIS and looks back. ‘If you ever need something, don’t be afraid to ask. A true, true friend helps a friend in need.’

Luna laughs again. ‘I’ll keep that in mind, Twilight Sparkle.’

The TARDIS powers up and disappears. Luna smiles and goes back to playing her game. Celestia pokes her head in.

‘I don’t want to go to meetings today,’ the older princess says. ‘Want to get Philomena and have a picnic on the garden?’

Luna groans. ‘When will you learn to be more responsible, dear sister?’

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: Luna's and Celestia's first chronological encounter with TWP (and Twilight too!).

Story Timeline: Twilight pilots James' TARDIS.

Warning! - Due to the events seen in S4E1-2, this chapter has been safely removed from TWP canon. Please just enjoy this chapter as a fun story and pay it not heed moving forward.

League of Harmony (part 1)

Main Characters: TWP, Celestia, Chrysalis
Cameos: Luna, Sunshine, Cadence, Shining, Amaterasu, Susanoo, Uther, Arthur, Lord Gugu, Tempest, Isis, Osiris, Artemis, Orion
Original Start Date: March 10, 2013

Title suggested by Game Tia

Equestrian Royal Guards have the Crystal Palace secured. The crystal pony attendants have cleaned the palace from top to bottom. Shining Armor patrols the halls in his dress uniform before reaching the banquet hall. Cadence waits for him beside the Crystal Heart. She is dressed in a flowing dress and the ceremonial headdress. Shining gives his wife a nuzzle, and they turn to the door.

‘Show them in,’ Cadence says.

Trumpets sound and guards open the doors. Luna and Sunshine enter. The princess is in a fancy dress while the bat pony is in his dress uniform.

‘Announcing, Princess Luna of Equestria and her escort Sir Sunshine Smiles,’ an announcer declares.

The princess and her escort bow and enter the hall. They go straight to the other ponies.

‘Welcome,’ Cadence greets. ‘It is so good to see you again.’

‘It is my pleasure,’ the other princess replies. ‘It is so good of you to host this meeting.’

‘I attend so rarely. I wanted to do my part to further the organization.’

The trumpet sounds again.

‘Announcing, Princess Celestia of Equestria and her escort The Wandering Physicist.’

Celestia bows as she enters. James yawns as he follows. Luna spins around to confront her sister. Shining grimaces.

‘Sorry for the delay,’ Celestia apologizes. ‘We encountered some unexpected obstacles.’

‘I had to use the can, and this place is huge,’ James translates.

The princess kicks her escort.

‘What is he doing here?’ Luna asks.

‘I needed an escort, and he was available.’ Celestia smirks. ‘Jealous?’

‘Basically, she begged Twilight if she could borrow me for this whatever-it-is,’ James answers. ‘I think she should have gone with Discord, but I guess either way she would have been stealing one of your ex-es. I bet it makes you wish you brought Cloudchaser instead.’

Luna turns to her sister. ‘If you are here, then who is running Equestria?’

‘I was able to convince Twilight that it was a test of her abilities as a princess. She is covering for us, dear sister.’

‘Completely forgetting how Twilight’s mayoral campaign went,’ James adds.

The princess kicks her escort.

Luna scowls. ‘It is good of you to finally come to one of these since you haven’t since my return. You could have given me some warning as to your plans.’

‘Is there a reception or can I just borrow Shining for some fun until you royals are done with your party?’ James asks.

‘We have a reception set up at the end of hall,’ Cadence replies. ‘But please return to greet the other guests as they arrive.’

James nods and goes to get a snack.

‘Please get me some crystal cake as well,’ Celestia says, getting an eye roll from her sister.

The stallion sighs and continues on. Sunshine trots up beside him.

‘Good seeing you again, Mr Wanderer.’

‘Likewise. Hope all is well.’

‘As well as things can go. It seems odd not seeing you out at the farm working tech support for Miss Applejack.’

‘So that is what she calls it,’ the stallion mumbles. ‘I’m not out there as much as it seems. Most of the time I run my shop or am with my fillyfriend.’

Sunshine laughs. ‘You could have been running Equestria right now, but you are stuck here with us. Don’t worry. These meetings aren’t as bad as they seem. I’ve been attending with Luna since she returned. I am curious to see who the other delegates bring with them this year.’

James shudders. ‘Meeting new ponies.’

‘Don’t worry. I believe we are all the ponies that are coming.’

‘Wait. What?’

Sunshine gets items for himself and Luna and rejoins the princess. James sighs. Celestia giggles and takes the cake her escort brings her.

‘Announcing, Queen Artemis and Prince Orion of Deerope.’

The doors open to reveal a tall golden red doe in a deep purple stola with gold crown on her head. She is followed by a similarly-dressed young stag. Celestia and the doe smile and approach each other.

‘So wonderful seeing you again, Artemis,’ Celestia greets.

‘It has been too long, Celestia,’ Artemis replies.

‘Is this young Orion? He has grown a lot since I last saw him.’

‘Thank you, Princess Celestia,’ Orion says, bowing.

‘It is so rare to see you these days,’ Artemis comments.

‘I have just been so busy recently.’

‘Festival of Cakes, Equestria Dessert Competition, getting banned from the Festival of Cakes...’ James lists.

Celestia turns and snorts at the stallion. Luna barely covers a chortle.

‘You must be Celestia’s escort. I am Queen Ar...’

‘Queen Artemis, fifth ruler of Deerope,’ James finishes. ‘Spent the first several years of your rule expanding your territory into Zebra lands. Only returned them a little under one hundred years ago. Commonly criticized for being very Deerocentric and pushing for the Deero to replace the bit as the common currency in the world. Chief causes include nature preservation and focusing on renewable resources, two areas your friend Celestia has excelled for the past three hundred years.’

‘Three-fifty,’ Celestia corrects. ‘You forgot when somepony snuck orders to the royal guards to protect the Everfree Forest from a massive logging attempt.’

James taps notes into his mobile. ‘Right. Needed the forest to get Zap Apples and thus Ponyville, which would be a key location in saving your sister, defeating Discord and getting my fillyfriend her current royal title.’

Celestia nods. ‘The very same.’

‘My. Aren’t you the...’ Artemis begins.

‘Oh. And on equal rights, you have been very harsh to non-Artiodactyla, except for ponies and recently (relatively speaking) Zebra.’

Artemis glares. ‘My. Aren’t you the clever one?’

‘Please excuse James. He does not know when to follow proper protocol.’

‘Can I boop your nose?’ the stallion asks.

‘I’m sure he means well,’ Artemis sighs. She turns to Cadence. ‘Thank you so much for hosting the conference. It is wonderful to finally see the Crystal Empire. Until you revived it, we had only heard rumors passed down from the reindeer tribes of our northern provinces.’

‘Are those the tribes you “annexed” or the ones “annexed” during your parents’ rule?’ James asks.

Celestia shoves the rest of her cake into the stallion’s mouth.

‘Announcing, King Uther and Prince Arthur of Eagleland.’

A dark grey griffin with silver feathers wearing a satin cape and golden crown enters followed by a smaller, light brown griffin with golden feathers. The lead griffin looks around and snorts.

‘This is quite a lovely little castle,’ the griffin gruffly states.

‘Friendlier than usual, Uther,’ Celestia comments.

Uther snorts. ‘It has been a while since you have been to one of these meetings. It must be important if you were able to pull yourself away from your cakes and dozen baths a day.’

The princess scowls. ‘No. You are the same Uther I remember.’

The royals glare at each other then smirk and bow. Uther goes to Luna and embraces her.

‘Always wonderful to see the lovely Princess Luna,’ Uther compliments.

‘I am charmed, Uther,’ Luna replies.

‘We have much to discuss at the conference.’

‘I look forward to it.’

Uther continues and encounters Artemis. ‘Doe.’

‘Squawks.’

Arthur groans and passes his father. ‘Good to see you again, Orion.’

‘Prince Arthur. I trust your hunting goes well.’

‘Does he mean with the ladies?’ James whispers, louder than he should.

‘It is just a standard deer greeting,’ Orion groans.

‘Can’t you say something like “how’s it hanging?” instead?’

‘Can you please just go back to making fun of the delegates?’ Celestia groans.

James looks Uther over. ‘Oh, I think he’ll do that himself.’

‘What was that!’ the griffin roars.

‘Calm down, Uther,’ Celestia sighs. ‘He is just getting under your feathers.’

The griffin snorts and goes to investigate the reception. His son sighs and follows.

‘Announcing, Lord Gugu of the Sea Ponies, and Tempest.’

A pair of guards push a large tank of water into the hall. Inside, a large sea pony male balances on his tail and waves at the other delegates. His silver mane shimmers in the light from the crystals. Beside him, a sea pony filly with long red hair leans on the side of the tank.

‘I know it is more important to be fashionably late, but I just had to come early when I heard the most lovely pony princess was here,’ Lord Gugu states.

‘Actually, she is back in Canterlot,’ James corrects.

Celestia kicks the stallion and goes up to the tank. ‘It is lovely to see you again, Lord Gugu. It has been far too long.’

‘You get lovelier every time I see you,’ the sea pony sighs. ‘I wish I could maintain my beauty after all these years as well as you have.’

‘You showed me pictures of your first conference,’ the younger sea pony groans. ‘You still look the same.’

‘And who have we here?’ Celestia asks.

Gugu slips under the water and lifts the filly up. ‘This is my lovely daughter Tempest. Isn’t she just the most precious thing you have laid eyes on? Her mother and I are very proud of her.’

‘You say that about all of your kids,’ Tempest shouts. ‘Now, let me down!’

Gugu sets his daughter back in the tank. ‘Sorry about that, dear. I just have to show you off. She wants to experience the world outside the ocean more so I just had to bring her here to introduce her to all the lovely ponies and griffins and Diamond Dogs we get to meet.’

‘Whoa. Wait. Diamond Dogs?’ James asks.

‘Announcing, Empress Amaterasu and Prince Susanoo of Inucheon.’

A pair of Diamond Dogs storm around Lord Gugu’s tank. A tall white female in a patterned kimono smiles kindly at the other delegates. A shorter grey male glares at them.

‘Smells like fish,’ the male grunts. He looks at the tank. ‘Oh. Never mind.’

Gugu rolls his eyes. ‘Charming as ever, Susanoo.’

‘Please forgive my son,’ Amaterasu asks, bowing. ‘It is always nice to see you, Lord Gugu.’

‘As long as it is not arguing fishing grounds, it is delectably sweet to see the lovely Amaterasu.’

The Diamond Dog bows. She turns to the rest of the party and frowns at seeing Celestia.

‘Amaterasu,’ the princess snorts.

‘Celestia. If you ever need help raising the sun, you know where to find me.’

‘Funny. It was always you who needed help since you were a pup.’

‘Please! I am the one true sun goddess.’

‘Ha! That is so funny I forgot to laugh.’

‘You both know neither of you can control the sun, right?’ James interrupts. ‘I mean’ -- he holds up his mobile, displaying several equations -- ‘do you use the education systems you created?’

‘Impudent whelp!’ Susanoo shouts. ‘How dare you question my mother?’

‘If I give you a chew toy, will you shut up?’

The Diamond Dog draws a sword. ‘I challenge you!’

‘Calm down, Susanoo,’ Amaterasu groans. ‘He just does not know about the relationship between Celestia and myself.’

‘Is it like between Luna and her fillyfriend?’

Luna kicks her friend. Celestia and Amaterasu laugh at the younger princess.

Amaterasu looks the pony over then turns to Celestia. ‘If this is who you bring with you, I expect quite the challenge on any issues we discuss.’

The Diamond Dogs walk away. Lord Gugu motions towards the reception, and the guards push the tank away.

‘Dad, when am I getting my own tank?’ Tempest groans.

‘It will be set up for you tomorrow. I promise.’

James tries ducking around the princesses to ask Shining a question, but the doors open again. A pair of gaunt, black horses with leathery wings enter. They have makeup around their eyes and outlining their wings. The stallion wears a jewel-laden golden crown.

‘Announcing, King Osiris and Queen Isis of the Thestral Empire.’

Many of the other guests look at the new arrivals and shudder.

‘Neat!’ James states as he takes a picture of the thestrals.

‘Osiris, Isis, it is always good to see you,’ Cadence greets.

The stallion bows. ‘We had watched your kingdom for many years. It warms our heart to have neighbors such as you after the horrid King Sombra and a thousand years of nothing.’

‘Thank you.’

Celestia pulls Osiris in for a hug. ‘Osiris, my oldest ally, it has been too long, yet it feels like yesterday that we were founding this organization together.’

‘There was no “we” back then,’ Osiris replies. ‘There was only you and a grand dream. I am proud to have been part of what this institution has become.’

The princess smiles and bows. ‘You flatter me.’

‘Are you Sunshine’s big brother?’ James blurts out.

The princess scowls and cringes. ‘You never cease to surprise me.’

Osiris laughs. ‘We draw interesting parallels, do we not?’

Susanoo wanders back over. ‘Ah! I see the dead eaters are here. It is not a meeting without the smell of corpses in one nostril and and fish in the other.’

‘Pleasant as always, Susanoo,’ Isis groans a she trots away.

Osiris snorts and follows his wife away.

James looks up at the Diamond Dog. ‘You’re great at grade-A flankhattery. Have a biscuit.’

Susanoo snatches an offered treat. ‘Weird pony. You’re all...’

The Diamond Dog tries talking, but no sounds come out. He tries shouting and storms away. James cackles to himself.

‘It seems everypony is here,’ Luna observes, sighing heavily.

The other delegates are scattered around the hall, enjoying the reception and sharing stories. The ponies sigh and step to join the party.

‘Announcing, Queen Chrysalis and escorts.’

Everypony freezes as the doors open again. Chrysalis trots in with two changelings flying beside her. She looks at the trumpeters and rolls her eyes.

‘I am used to more lively music before making my entrance. Thankfully, I do not have to sing this time.’ -- she smirks -- ‘That is, unless you cover my appearance fees.’

Everypony stares in shock at the changelings. Susanoo tries yelling, but still no sound is comes out.

‘Sorry I’m late,’ Chrysalis apologizes. ‘Traffic from Neighpon is killer, even for the world’s most beloved pop star. And I know I am breaking the “one escort” rule, but I hope you understand that I felt the need for a little extra insurance.’

‘Chrysalis! What are you doing here?’ Celestia snarls.

‘I was invited.’ The changeling holds up a scroll. ‘It says something here about provisional membership in your little club. I am quite honored. About time all of you believe that all I want is to live peacefully.’

‘You lying, deceitful witch!’ Uther roars. ‘No members of this illustrious organization would want to consort with the likes of you!’

‘I believe my husband would.’ Chrysalis slinks over to Shining and places a foreleg around the stunned stallion. ‘He quite enjoys consorting with me.’

Cadence growls at the changeling.

‘Lucky,’ James moans.

‘I did not know you thought of me that way.’

‘Not him. You.’

Celestia and Luna facehoof.

Shining pushes away. He sighs a James. ‘Your affections should be directed at my sister.’ He turns to his wife. ‘And I swear we did nothing!’

‘Mind control spell,’ Chrysalis says nonchalantly.

‘Your petty pony squabbles do not matter!’ Uther roars. ‘Get that thing out of here immediately or I will dispatch it myself!’

‘I have a name. Or should I just start calling you Tori-chan?’

‘Burn!’ a stallion declares before a Princess of the Night hits him in the side.

Uther and Chrysalis growl at each other. Osiris steps between them.

‘This organization is about fostering peace. If Chrysalis says she is invited, we should not doubt her intentions. May I see your letter?’

Chrysalis sticks her tongue out and levitates her scroll to the thestral. The two changeling escorts fly around the hall and take in the other delegates. One licks his lips and flies straight for the food.

‘Disgusting creatures,’ Artemis hisses as she moves across the room.

‘I think they are cute,’ Tempest comments as a changeling nears her tank. ‘Like large aquatic beetles or something.’

‘You aren’t too bad yourself,’ the changeling replies.

Gugu leans over the tanks and glares at the changeling. ‘That is my daughter you are talking to.’

‘You’re really cool, too. Very shiny. If you’re ever in Shibuya, I’ll give you a deal at the store I work at.’

The sea pony gasps. ‘That would be wonderful! I cannot wait to take you up on the offer.’

‘That’s mom’s ocean,’ Tempest groans.

‘She wouldn’t mind me visiting,’ her father pouts.

‘Not to mention, it would be damn near impossible for you to get there without revealing our species to the whole world!’

The lord sways in his tank a bit. ‘It would be worth it.’

Tempest groans and drops under the water.

‘The letter is legitimate,’ Osiris declares, holding Chrysalis’ scroll up.

Celestia, Uther and Artemis groan.

‘At least we can get some military information from them,’ the griffin grumbles as he returns to the food.

Artemis makes her way around the room, trying to stay as far from the changelings as she can. She trots right up to Cadence. ‘I demand you place their rooms as far from mine as possible. I don’t want those things anywhere near me if I can help it.’

Chrysalis morphs to appear as the deer. ‘I also demand you help me remove the stick that seems to lodged up my plot!’

Artemis spins around and glares into her smirking face. ‘Take my form again and the last thing you will see is my arrow between your eyes.’

Chrysalis changes back. ‘Sorry. I thought you were female.’

Artemis snorts and pushes past the changeling. Chrysalis laughs, but she is left hanging when Luna prevents James from hoofbumping her.

Celestia trots past the changeling. ‘You are lucky enough of us are merciful or else we would have you in irons.’

‘Or you could send me to the moon. Complete the circle started with my grandmother.’ She looks at Luna scolding James. ‘Though I think somepony other than Nightmare Moon would be the one to free me.’

Shining trots to the arguing ponies. ‘P-princess, I know my opinion might be biased due to the mind control spell she used on me, but I was able to learn a lot from her when I escorted her during her tour. Give her a chance.’

Celestia sighs and joins her sister.

Chrysalis smiles at Shining. ‘I am lucky to have a husband such as you.’ She leans in and whispers at a level Cadence can hear. ‘I’ll have to reward your loyalty later.’

The princess holds back a scream and magically pulls her husband back to her.

Chrysalis laughs and looks around. ‘So, when does the feast begin?’

The reception has changed to a full banquet. Various factions have broken out around the table. Artemis and Orion sit near Uther and Arthur, despite the rulers’ distaste for each other. The two leaders keep an angry eye on their unexpected guest. Amaterasu, Osiris and Isis do not mind their new guest, though the empress worries they will not have enough food for everypony. Susanoo tries screaming, between mouthfuls of food, but he is still silent. Chrysalis and Gugu get along great, having a common interest in music. The three pony princesses conspire together. James uses the opportunity to get close to Shining.

‘So what is the deal with Uther and Artemis?’ the earth pony asks.

Shining takes a deep breath. ‘You know where Eagleland and Deerope are located. And you called out Artemis’ policies in front of Celestia. You do the math.’

‘Good job embarrassing her too,’ Sunshine adds. ‘Between Chrysalis and making her look bad in front of her friend, I might get through one of these meetings without being called “bat freak” for once.’

‘It can’t be just as simple as interspecies politics. They are as close to fighting with each other as with Chrysalis.’

‘Think about the natures of the species involved,’ Shining replies. ‘Both are proud and competitive by nature, but griffins are vocal about their actions. Uther might not have the best track record dealing with non-griffins, but he will be their biggest saint if it makes the empire look good.’

‘He is also more willing to change and adopt the latest technologies,’ Sunshine adds. ‘A number of his and Luna’s private conversations from past meetings have been about modernization and advancement.’

‘So it is a battle of traditions as well?’

‘Not just them,’ Sunshine notes. ‘Amaterasu might seem nice, but she only maintains good ties to the countries here, Neighpon, Equina and, very loosely, Mongrolia.’

‘The Thestrals rule a vast northern empire and are good friends with all who are in regular contact with them,’ Shining points out, ‘but a great deal of the world, even many here in the Crystal Empire, view them as carrion eaters due to their appearance and physical traits.’

‘My kind has to put up with that as well,’ Sunshine sighs.

‘And the sea ponies’ mythical status puts a burden on the good natures of the rulers.’ James nods. ‘Whoever invited Chrysalis was looking to stir up a hornet’s nest.’

‘That, on top of the major issues of trade and defence that were to be discussed,’ Sunshine groans.

‘Great timing on your part, James,’ Shining chides.

‘Wasn’t me. If I wanted to disrupt the event, I would have done it by now. … I mean, I would have done something really embarrassing to the delegates. Like made out with you embarrassing.’

‘Thanks for restraining yourself,’ the other stallion grimaces.

‘No prob. I am really curious to see how this will turn out.’

Sunshine groans and goes back to his meal. ‘Unless you have ears like mine, you’re going to miss most of it. All the meetings are behind closed doors and very boring. Even with a new piece on the field, we’ll be spending most of our time waiting.’

‘At least we can see the city.’

‘All delegates and their escorts must remain in the meeting location until the conference is over.’

James and Shining groan. The earth pony looks over at his potential brother-in-law.

‘Have any good video games?’

Celestia finishes her meal and stands. ‘Cadence, your chefs have prepared a wonderful meal. Thank you. If the other delegates will excuse me, I wish to confer with my escort before the evening activities. Mr Wanderer?’

James groans and follows Celestia out. The princess leads them to their room. The stallion shudders when he sees there is only one bed. Celestia sits on the bed and motions for her friend to join her.

‘We have a problem,’ the princess states.

‘I’ll sleep on the floor,’ James replies. ‘Or the washroom. Or Shining’s bed. Whatever.’

‘Not that. Chrysalis.’

‘Bah. She is just looking for some friends. Let her join. It will be nice.’

‘She needed half the members to agree to even send an invitation. She would need even more to get in. Don’t hold your breath.’

‘Are you going to shun the ones who invited her?’ The stallion falls back and stretches. ‘Or are you going to pretend your being here when she just happened to be invited is a coincidence?’

The princess falls back with her wings and legs spread, landing on the stallion. ‘Only if you pretend my inviting you is a coincidence as well.’

‘Did you invite her?’

Celestia stares at the ceiling for several moments. ‘The rulers before Sombra used to have Luna and I over from time to time. I do not believe this is as grand a room as we once used.’

‘How long do you plan on trapping me under your wing?’

Celestia stares at the ceiling for several moments. ‘Only until Cadence has them bring out dessert, Mr Wanderer. Only until dessert.’ She grins. ‘Then all night long.’

‘Sorry. I already told Shining I was sleeping with him.’

‘Ha! You wish.’

James sighs. ‘I wish Twilight was here.’

Celestia giggles. ‘Every delegate’s room?’

‘And more,’ the lovesick stallion sighs.

The princess smirks. ‘Well, you do have me.’

‘Sorry. I’m not into older mares.’

Celestia scowls and sits up. ‘Come. I believe it is almost time for dessert.’ She storms to the door. ‘Jerk.’

James laughs and gets the door for the princess.

After breakfast, the delegates head to a conference room. Celestia yawns as she trots beside her sister.

‘Such low energy,’ Amaterasu scoffs. ‘No wonder you needed my help raising the sun today.’

‘In your dreams,’ the princess retorts. ‘It was all my doing, even after staying up all night.’

‘No you weren’t,’ Luna counters. You were out cold in minutes. I won’t even mention the types of dreams you had when James started cuddling up to you.’

‘You spied on my dreams!’

‘You were borderline lucid. That is like a fireworks display when I am fighting nightmares.’

‘Ugh. You ponies and your magic,’ Uther scoffs. ‘You should have more respect for other species.’

‘Deer, Zebra, Kirin and others have magic too,’ Luna huffs. ‘If you insult one of us, you insult us all.’

‘Well, excuse me, princess,’ the king groans right before the conference hall doors are closed.

A pair of guards step in front of the hall. James taps a few buttons on his mobile.

‘This is so getting at least ten thousand views from Zelda fancolts,’ the stallion says to himself.

‘You! The Annoying Scientist!’ Susanoo barks. ‘I have a bone to pick with you!’

‘Sup?’

‘That biscuit you gave me prevented me from speaking for several hours!’

‘That’s good too hear. I didn’t know how it would affect Diamond Dogs.’

‘You knew it would..!’

James shoves a hoof in Susanoo’s mouth. The stallion rubs the pup’s throat until he swallows.

‘What did you do to me? Are you trying to poi...’

All sound ceases to come from Susanoo.

‘Thank you!’ Arthur groans. ‘It is almost impossible to shut him up during these meetings.’

Susanoo starts to silently rave against the griffin.

‘How did you do that?’ Shining asks, getting the angry canine to ‘shout’ at him.

‘You know how speech is caused by your vocal cords vibrating?’ The scientist gets nods and a silent snarl. ‘I just gave him a pill that causes the vocal cords to slacken.’ He rubs Susanoo’s stomach. ‘And he is such a good boy taking his pills. Yes, he is.’

Susanoo tries screaming and the others trot away laughing.
…

The delegates finish saying an oath and sit down.

Chrysalis looks at the others. ‘I take it I will have to memorize that before the next meeting.’

‘Preferably, that will be the last you hear it,’ Artemis growls.

‘Since that seems to be the elephant in the room...’ Celestia begins.

‘I’d prefer an elephant to that thing,’ the deer grumbles under her breath.

The princess sighs. ‘As I was saying... I think the first order of business should be discussing our potential new member.’

Osiris nods. ‘We have to judge the economic and cultural benefits, as well as other aspects she could bring to us.’

‘I am quite interested in the identities of potential spies in the empire,’ Uther cackles.

Chrysalis glares. ‘I would never risk the lives of my kind. I know what you do to changelings in your lands.’

‘I am sure Chrysalis has knowledge of other hives and is willing to help us combat them,’ Luna covers.

‘I may...’

‘And, what cultural benefits?’ Uther scoffs. ‘They are soul-draining monsters.’

‘She is one of the loveliest singers in the world,’ Gugu argues. ‘My people would be honored to have her perform for us.’

‘And we’ll scoop your bodies from the surface once they are done feeding.’

‘We do not feed that way!’ Chrysalis shouts. ‘At least, my hive does not. We are peaceful now.’

‘And the number of missing ponies in Neighpon have never been lower.’

The changeling snarls at the griffin.

‘I don’t see the problem with allowing her to join,’ Amaterasu says. ‘She seems nice to me.’

‘That is because her kind cannot hide among yours,’ Artemis counters. ‘Too many innocent deer have been lost to those monsters.’

‘None of my hive are in your lands,’ Chrysalis snorts.

‘Likely story.’

Cadence looks around nervously. ‘Looks like we might have more to discuss before this is put to a vote.’

‘Indeed,’ Uther agrees. ‘Much to discuss, such as the identities of all the changelings in our lands.’

Chrysalis stands and stomps. ‘Are you deaf or just mad? I will not risk the lives of my hive. I know the prejudice they will face if they are revealed.’ She looks at Uther and Artemis. ‘I know they would face criminal charges just for existing in some lands.’

‘We would just be protecting them from those who would want to harm them,’ the griffin counters. ‘It would be a sign of good faith between you and us.’

‘Absurd!’

‘I agree,’ Celestia says. ‘No other member was admitted with conditions. I won’t sanction a vote if there are conditions for Chrysalis’ membership.’

‘I second my sister’s feelings,’ Luna adds.

‘Me too!’ Cadence speaks up.

Uther groans and sits back. ‘Of course the ponies gather together.’

‘Not all of us,’ Gugu notes. ‘I would still like to hear more from our guest before I make up my mind on the subject.’

‘I suggest we hear more from Chrysalis,’ Osiris suggests. ‘She can tell us of her land and her hive. The more we understand our guest, the more we may like her.’

‘Wonderful idea, Osiris,’ Luna agrees. ‘That would be a great use of our time before lunch.’

While the delegates talk, their escorts have free use of parts of the castle. Royal guards stand at the entrances and exits, preventing the escorts from going too far. James has found a lounge and rests while playing a hoofheld game. Outside, Shining trots past on patrol. Tempest sloshes in her tank as a guard pushes her into the room.

‘There has to be an easier way,’ the sea pony grumbles. ‘You think these wings are just for show.’

‘I always figured they were evolutionary holdovers when your kind adapted to living in water,’ The Amatuer Biologist guesses. ‘There aren’t many reports of winged sea ponies flying beside ships.’

‘We don’t get many reports of your kind exploring the deep oceans. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.’

‘Have you ever considered a wheelchair?’

Tempest floats on her back. ‘We would still need a way to keep our skin and scales moist.’ James taps his head. ‘The available water generation spells would require too much effort for our best mages. Besides, not every sea pony looks like we do.’

‘My friend Rarity can make magically-enhanced dresses. Maybe you should talk with her.’

The two changelings enter the lounge and sit on a free couch. One is holding a soft drink.

‘Where’d you get that?’ James asks.

‘Snuck out,’ the changeling replies.

‘Lucky!’ Tempest moans.

‘We did not,’ the other changeling replies. ‘We just went to the dining hall early. They are setting up for lunch. He got that after begging the waiters.’

‘Sweet.’

‘Very much so,’ the drinking changeling replies. He looks up. ‘You’re Mr Wanderer, right?’

‘That is one of my names.’

‘Our queen shares stories from Del,’ the changeling reports. ‘I want you to know that I have an affinity for sugary treats as well.’

‘That is good to hear. What about the rest of her traits?’

‘Well, she’s just really wei-’

‘Keep in mind, she is my daughter.’

The changeling freezes. ‘Well, she’s just a completely normal little girl.’

‘Phew. That is good. I was afraid she was really weird or something.’

Tempest laughs. There is a sound of a door being opened. The delegates stream past the lounge. Few look in at everypony at rest. Chrysalis stops in the room.

‘Has anypony seen Shining?’ the queen asks. ‘I think I need the comfort of my husband after that grilling.’

‘Your husband!’ Cadence snaps.

‘Whose wedding was first?’

The princess shrieks and storms away.

‘I think I am feeling better,’ Chrysalis laughs, following the others.

The others get up and leave the lounge. James and the changelings help push Tempest’s tank.

After lunch, the delegates are back in the conference hall. Isis has replaced her husband. Gugu floats lazily in his tank while the others take their seats. Chrysalis picks her fangs, sitting off to the side.

‘That was a delightful reprieve,’ the changeling comments. ‘Shall you resume grilling me over all of my personal details?’

‘Personally, I would rather move to a more productive topic,’ Amaterasu sighs.

‘I move we discuss the economic issues,’ Celestia suggests.

‘Second,’ Gugu calls from his relaxed position.

‘Actually, I have a couple more questions,’ Cadence says. ‘Namely, about her relationship with my husband.’

‘Sorry. New topic.’ Chrysalis beams with joy.

The pink princess scowls at the changeling.

‘I am curious to see if anypony took my suggestion from the last meeting,’ Luna says.

‘Ugh. The “work together” idea,’ Amaterasu groans. ‘We are fine without.’

‘Unlike my canine friend,’ Uther speaks up, ‘I took Luna’s suggestion and extended more trade and cooperative efforts to non-League members. It has really paid off for all the parties involved.’

‘That is wonderful to hear. Can we move forward with the trade proposal I suggested last meeting?’

‘Forgive me if I am lacking on the details, dear sister,’ Celestia says. ‘Can you fill me in?’

‘Your sister proposed extending the trade agreements we benefit from to non-member states,’ Isis explains.

‘It would just be to a few states to start,’ Luna adds. ‘Specifically, Saddle Arabia, Neighpon, Canida, Aerieland and a few Zebra lands.’

‘Sounds similar to an old proposal of mine,’ Celestia comments.

‘Not that “lower house” idea,’ Amaterasu groans.

‘It would be good for the whole world,’ the princess argues. ‘Not every nation is ruled by monarchs any more. Why should we be the privileged few calling the shots?’

‘That is not for debate right now,’ Isis interrupts. ‘Since we are all up to speed on the current proposal, I suggest we vote on that now. We can discuss Celestia’s proposal afterwards. That is, unless anypony else has reservations.’

‘I’m concerned about what it would mean for my seas,’ Gugu says, sitting up in his tank. ‘Who will take responsibility for the increased sea traffic? Would we be allowed to personally intervene with the other leaders to enforce safe seaways?’

‘That would lead to increased sea pony visibility,’ Uther points out.

‘We have maintained the secrecy of the sea ponies for many years,’ Celestia argues. ‘Neighpon follows the same secrecy policies as Equestria. It would just mean working with the new trade partners to understand the need for continued privacy.’

Gugu sighs and leans back in the water. ‘Another year of hiding. I am overjoyed.’

‘I take that is a negative vote?’

‘No, no. We know of the value of the minerals and magical crystals that can only be found in the deep. You have our support, but we would like to expand the number of trade goods we receive.’

‘That is one. How do the others vote? All in favor?’

Celestia, Luna and Cadence raise their hooves. Uther raises a talon.

‘More trade means more opportunities to dispel the awful rumors about us,’ Isis comments, raising a hoof.

‘Opposed?’ Celestia asks.

‘Your increased emphasis on expanding our private organization to the unworthy is annoying,’ Amaterasu grumbles. ‘Though I am opposed, I hope this overwhelming majority will see fit to expand benefits to Mongrolia some time in the future.’

Artemis raises a hoof. ‘I agree that extending our private agreements is unwise. The increasing emphasis on modernization and technology is upsetting as well.’

‘I might not know fancy mathematics, but I can tell which number is bigger,’ Chrysalis laughs.

‘Nopony asked you!’ Artemis snapped. ‘I doubt shriveled husks are going to be valuable trade commodities if we are stupid enough to let you join.’

‘I could always write you a lovely ballad,’ the changeling counters. ‘I get the feeling you could use an anthem to declare how much better you are are than the rest of us. I think I’ll call it “Wow! We all suck and Deer are the obvious master race”.’ She shrugs. ‘That is just a working title.’

‘Why are you even here! Leave now!’

‘Chrysalis is our guest,’ Isis huffs. ‘Whether we like it or not, we have to treat her with the respect we give all members. We do not antagonize her at every opportunity.’

Chrysalis sticks her tongue out at the deer.

‘We also do not mock our fellow members, honored guest.’

‘Sorry, but she deserves it.’

‘Whether or not that is true is up to interpretation. If you want to be a member, you will have to act like one.’

‘Fine. I’ll keep my squabbling to a minimum. I am sure the number of arguments Shining had drastically lowered during the time we were engaged.’

‘Objection!’ Cadence shouts.

Celestia loudly taps a hoof on the conference table. ‘Now that we have agreed on the trade proposal, I suggest a short recess before we draft letters to the nations we wish to deal with. It will give us time to cool our heads and refocus our energies towards cooperation.’

‘Second,’ a number of other members agree.

‘Good. Let us meet back in ten minutes.’ The princess giggles. ‘I always like the part where we write letters.’

After the final meetings and dinner, the delegates are using the evening for private meetings. Cadence has retired to her room with Shining. The princess snuggles against her husband as she tries to unwind.

‘How were the meetings today?’ Shining asks.

‘Frustrating,’ Cadence sighs. ‘We learned more about changelings than we ever thought possible, but she still dodged questions about the two of you.’

‘There was nothing!’ the stallion defends. ‘We did nothing. I am almost positive we did nothing when she had me under a mind control spell.’

‘I believe you,’ the princess sighs. ‘After lunch, we talked economics for the rest of the evening. The whole time, Celestia and Amaterasu debated expanding the League to include non-monarchies. You could just tell Artemis wanted to rave against Celestia, but she held back. It was so irritating.’

Shining nuzzles his wife. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll help you relax.’

‘What do you have in mind?’

‘Well...’

The bedroom door opens, and Cadence trots in.

‘You will not believe the day I had.’

The two ponies in bed stare at the new arrival. The new Cadence gapes in shock.

‘What are you doing to my husband!’ the new Cadence shouts.

‘Your husband? I am the real Cadence! You must be Chrysalis in disguise!’

The new arrival gasps. ‘How dare you accuse me, you lecherous fiend! Get your hooves off him, imposter.’

‘I’m not the imposter. You are!’

‘Shining! Say something!’

The stallion looks at the two Cadences. ‘I...’

The Cadence in bed contorts her face. ‘You better not be turned on by this.’

‘Ha!’ the new Cadence laughs. ‘That proves you aren’t the real Cadence. We all know that Chrysalis does not find the handsome Shining Armor attractive.’

‘If you don’t find him attractive, that is your loss. Shining is more of a stallion than she can ever handle.’ She looks back. ‘And Shining, get that under control!’

The stallion frowns. ‘Sorry, dear.’

‘Don’t call her “dear”!’ the other Cadence snaps. ‘You don’t know if she is really your wife.’

The stallion frowns. ‘Sorry, dear.’

The Cadence by the door growls. ‘And how dare you claim a lack of relations with my husband. You had him under a mind control spell for long enough to have taken advantage of him many times.’

‘I was the one sealed in the catacombs!’

‘As if you were! Shining, why aren’t you doing anything? You know I am the real Cadence.’

‘Don’t listen to her, Shining. I am the real Cadence.’

Both Cadences stare at Shining. The stallion looks between the two mares.

‘Is there any answer I can give where I live?’

The Cadence by the doorway smiles. ‘Well, we could share him. I mean, it technically isn’t cheating.’ She smirks, revealing a fang.

The Cadence on the bed points. ‘A fang! You’re the fake! You’re Chrysalis!’

The queen laughs and reveals her true form. ‘I was wondering how long it would take for me to slip. This was quite enjoyable. We should do it again sometime.’

Cadence growls and cuddles up against her husband.

Chrysalis heads out of the room. ‘Thank you for the fun. You have an amazing husband.’ She closes the door behind her. A second later, she pops back in. ‘In more ways than one.’

‘What does that mean!’ Cadence shouts.

Chrysalis trots away cackling.

In the middle of the night, a group is meeting in secret. They have magically sealed their meeting place. No lights illuminate the meeting.

‘Was it really wise to invite her?’ one asks.

‘She is meeting opposition, but I believe she will prove herself,’ another replies.

‘I still can’t believe you talked me into agreeing to invite her,’ a third moans.

‘Am I the only one enjoying her presence? These meetings are usually so boring,’ a fourth says.

‘Of course you say that,’ the second moans. There is a pause. ‘Though I agree with you one hundred percent.’

‘Do you think she will make it in?’ the third asks.

‘I have my reservations,’ the first replies. ‘But I have a feeling she will make it.’

The third sighs. ‘She tried conquering Equestria and then went after Twilight Sparkle. Letting her in could be a threat to countless lives.’

‘Yet she has been living peacefully in Neighpon for years,’ the fourth argues. ‘I don’t think we should act rashly in quickly judging her.’

‘What are the issues we are covering in the morning?’ the second asks.

‘Security,’ the first groans.

The group is silent.

‘She has that in her arsenal. Doesn’t she?’ the second asks.

‘His reaction will be what we watch,’ the first adds.

‘Agreed,’ the fourth agrees.

‘Um...’ the third hems. ‘Do we have to forgive her for the attack on Canterlot?’

‘Do you wish to forgive her?’ the fourth asks.

‘I... sorta do,’ the third replies. ‘I know she hurt a lot of ponies and could have destroyed Equestria but when you talk with...’

‘We have all talked with her, but she has a slightly biased viewpoint,’ the first sighs.

‘Then why are you trying to befriend Chrysalis so much?’ the second asks.

The first gasps. ‘That is an absurd accusation!’

‘Did your nose just grow three meters?’ the fourth teases.

The first growls at the teaser.

The second yawns. ‘I should be returning to bed. I’ll tell my spouse everything we discussed.’

‘As will I,’ the third adds. ‘I hope they agree with us.’

The group starts to exit the room.

‘Do I really look like I am befriending her?’ the first asks.

‘Please,’ the fourth groans. ‘The only thing more subtle than that is going to tease you about it when you get back to your room.’

The others in the group laugh as they return to bed.

Author's Note

Title suggested by Game Tia

Notes in the next chapter.

League of Harmony (part 2)

Main Characters: TWP, Celestia, Chrysalis
Cameos: Luna, Sunshine, Cadence, Shining, Amaterasu, Susanoo, Uther, Arthur, Lord Gugu, Tempest, Isis, Osiris, Artemis, Orion
Original Start Date: March 10, 2013

Title suggested by Game Tia

Twilight Sparkle sits calmly on the throne in Canterlot castle. She reads a scroll before signing it and levitating it to an assistant. She levitates a cup of the finest coffee in Equestria to her lips. Beside her, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy eat breakfast with their friend.

‘See? What was everypony worried about?’ Twilight brags. ‘Everything is running smoothly. Nothing is going wr-’

The doors to the throne room open. Applejack storms straight to the throne. Rarity and Discord chase after the mare.

‘What are you going to do about this!’ Applejack demands.

‘Now, calm down. I can fix this,’ Discord assures.

‘Don’ y’all worry yer pretty little head,’ Rarity says. ‘It was an accident plain and simple.’

‘Of course you say it is “pretty” when it is your head. What about mine!’

‘It’s fine too. Will y’all stop worryin’?’

Twilight stares in shock. ‘Why does Applejack sound like Rarity and Rarity sound like Applejack?’

‘Well, you see...’ Discord begins.

Rainbow Dash flies into the throne room. ‘Twilight! We have a problem!’

‘What now?’

‘Well, you see I was partying last night with Spitfire, Soarin’, Vinyl, Silver Fox...’

A guard enters and salutes. ‘Your majesty. Philomena has escaped again. She was last reported seen in the royal menagerie. Shall we commence panicking or just mildly freak out?’

Twilight starts laughing nervously, an eye twitching.

‘And I think Fleur was there too,’ Dash adds, trying to remember last night.

After breakfast, the delegates once again gather in the conference hall. Chrysalis has found a swivel chair and spins while the others take their seats. Celestia uses her magic to halt the changeling’s fun.

‘I believe we have more serious business to discuss today,’ the princess states.

Uther sits up and cackles. ‘This is going to be fun.’

‘I take it this is my turn,’ Chrysalis moans.

‘Correct, Chrysalis,’ Celestia sighs. ‘We are going to be discussing security matters today. That includes threats from any changeling hives.’

‘Who are your spies in my empire!’ Uther demands. ‘Tell us of all the changelings in my lands!’

Chrysalis stands and goes to the table. ‘You want to hear about changelings in your lands, do you?’

There was a family of changelings living in Eagleland not too long ago. They lived in a small village not too much bigger than Equestria’s Ponyville. Two parents and three children had been living in your land for several years. They were well-liked within the community and had many friends.

One day, one of the children injured himself playing with his friends, and his disguise was dropped while his wound was treated. Word quickly spread that he was a changeling and his whole family was outed for what they were. Luckily, most of their friends and neighbors knew them as good griffins and trustworthy friends. Gifts were even left for the injured son. Despite your country’s policy of reporting and detaining all changelings, the authorities felt that no action should be taken.

Unfortunately, a number of griffins hated knowing there were changelings living in their town and that no action was being taken against them. One night, they attacked the family’s home and burned it to the ground. The changelings were able to escape and fled to Aerieland. There, they have returned to hiding.

Chrysalis lowers her mobile as she stops reading. Uther glares at the changeling. She smirks and raises her mobile again.

‘The mayor and police chief of the town say they would arrest the griffins that attacked the changeling family,’ Chrysalis continues, ‘but they cannot act due to anti-changeling laws. Friends of the injured changeling want to know when they can play with their friend again.’ She lowers her mobile again. ‘How is that for a story about changelings in your territory?’

Uther growls and sits down, fuming.

James, Shining and Sunshine enjoy lunch together while the delegates continue their security discussions. Arthur and Orion approach the table.

‘May we join you?’ the deer asks.

The ponies shrug and make room for their contemporaries. Across the room, the changeling escorts get a table to themselves. Orion looks over a scoffs.

‘Can you believe we’re even entertaining the idea of allowing one of their kind to join?’ the prince snorts.

‘We haven’t had as bad a history as you in Equestria, but I have had my fair share of run-ins with changelings back home,’ Arthur adds.

‘Shining here has had a few run-ins with Chrysalis, if you know what I mean,’ James jokes.

‘We did not do anything!’

‘Mind control spell~’ James and Sunshine sing.

Arthur covers a laugh.

‘Disgusting creatures, all of them,’ Orion snarls. ‘We should have exterminated them on sight.’

‘Even with my history, they aren’t that bad,’ Shining sighs. ‘You just need the right countermeasures to prevent them from them getting too much of a hoofhold.’

‘I hear you have a changeling in your personal squadron,’ Arthur says.

‘I do. He is one of my most loyal soldiers and a close friend.’

‘And given a free second, he will slit your throat,’ Orion snorts.

‘Geez. Ease up on them,’ James groans. ‘What did they ever do to you?’

‘They are beings of hate. If we had any brains, we would have wiped those monsters from the planet long ago.’

‘They are not monsters...’

‘If you have ever had any personal experience with them, you would know they want nothing more than to drain the souls from you and your family.’

James glares and sets his mobile on the table. He has a picture of Del open. ‘One of those so-called “monsters” is my daughter. She is the sweetest little girl you will ever meet. I really doubt Del or any other changeling I know means you any harm.’

Orion stares at the picture then looks up at James. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘That’s better.’

‘I’m sorry you are brainwashed by those monsters. I’m sorry you think such a hideous beast could ever care for you.’

James growls and kicks the table out, knocking over Orion. The others step back, trying not to get caught in the attack. Everypony else in the room looks at the commotion.

‘Del is my little angel!’ James screams. ‘Being a changeling does not change anything! I love her with all my heart, and she loves me and her sister too!’ He picks up Orion. ‘Take back what you said about her!’

‘She is a monster and should be put down.’

James swings a punch, knocking out the prince. Before he can attack again, he is wrapped in magic and pulled away.

‘James! What are you doing!’ Shining yells.

The Furious Parent looks at his friend then at the unconscious deer below him. Isis comes over from where she was sitting.

‘I’ll take care of him,’ the queen says. ‘But know there will be consequences for your actions.’

James shakes his head. ‘I know. I know. I’ll be in my room cooling down. Sorry you had to see that.’

The stallion gallops away to collect himself. Isis sighs and lifts Orion to her back. Slowly, the dining hall returns to normal as Shining, Sunshine and Arthur return to their meals. The changelings sigh and go back to eating.

‘Hey,’ Shining calls. ‘Do you two want to join us?’

The changelings look at each other, smile and get up to change tables.

‘You hit Orion!’ Celestia screams.

‘I would have done more if Shining didn’t stop me,’ James shouts back.

‘You are lucky he was there.’

‘I know it.’

The princess and physicist glare at each other across their room. Celestia closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. James sighs and looks away.

‘What did he say?’ Celestia asks.

‘He said that Del should be killed,’ James replies. ‘After that, I just sorta snapped.’

The princess shakes her head. ‘That is an awful thing to say.’ She looks at the stallion. ‘But he is still the son of one of my oldest friends and a foreign royal.’

James moans and sits on the bed. ‘I acted rashly. I’m sorry.’ He looks up. ‘How can you be friends with them? They are so... Scootaloo’s dad is more pleasant than them and I gave him the same treatment!’

Celestia sighs and sits next to her friend. ‘I don’t know, Mr Wanderer. I just don’t know. When this organization was young, we needed leaders like her to give us legitimacy. But no matter how much the world has evolved, she does not seem to have changed.’

‘You changed if you are willing to allow the granddaughter of somepony you banished to the moon join.’

The princess laughs. ‘By that logic, I should allow Rei’s daughter to join, if she has one.’

‘Don’t say she hasn’t thought of that.’ There is a pause. ‘And yes, I know she is engaged to a mare.’

‘What do we do, Mr Wanderer? Just by allowing Chrysalis to be here, I am risking my friendship with Artemis.’

James falls back. He pats the bed beside him. Celestia lays down too.

‘You’re going to have to apologize publicly, James. Do you think you can handle that?’

‘Do you think Orion can?’

Celestia takes a deep breath. ‘Can we just lay here and pretend I am yelling at you?’

‘I have a spare hoofheld if you want one.’

‘I’m fine just talking with with you.’

‘No. I insist. Take my game.’

Celestia laughs and rolls over to think.

Uther paces in his suite. Arthur watches his father.

‘Arg! Those damn changelings. They’re always causing trouble.’

‘Father, you heard the reports. They were attacked for just being who they are! Even at their worst, the anti-changeling laws were never meant to do more than scare them away. We have a whole town ready to secede and join Aerieland because they want to persecute the true criminals.’

Uther spins around. ‘Don’t you think I know that! Look at the dilemma they have put us in! We have to protect criminals now. We look as bad as Artemis does.’

Arthur stands as tall as he can. ‘Father, when we get home, I don’t care what you or my brothers say or do, I am going to order the arrest of the arsonists and offer protection to the changeling family if they wish to return.’

‘Are you mad, son?’

‘Is it madness to want justice?’

Uther paces some more. ‘Orion and Mr Wanderer are going to publicly apologize for their actions.’

‘As well they should.’

‘Is it justice if this issue is swept under the rug?’

Arthur tries answering but looks away. Uther walks over and puts a talon on his son’s shoulder.

‘When you reach my age, the line between what should be done and what will be done will be crossed many times.’ He looks at a clock. ‘Come. The apology is scheduled for before dinner.’

The griffin goes to the door.

‘Father...’

Uther looks back.

‘I do not like the changelings that continually pester our lands, but I am finding Chrysalis and her hive to be quite enjoyable.’

‘The exception that proves the rule?’

Arthur shakes his head. ‘No. The only exception and nothing more. … And a potential ally.’

Uther nods and turns back around. The king marches away followed by his son.

The delegates and their escorts fill the dining hall. James and Orion stand at the center, facing each other. Behind them, Celestia and Artemis watch each other. Chrysalis smiles as she watches the show. Celestia leans forward and nudges her friend.

James stares at Orion and smirks. ‘One sec.’

The stallion gets out his mobile and makes a call. Everypony starts murmuring. James smiles and presses some buttons on his mobile. Monitors around the room spring to life.

‘I hope you don’t mind if I take a quick video call,’ the stallion says.

‘What are you..?’

‘Shh!’ James hisses.

The monitors change to show Del out of her disguise. Chrysalis’ smile doubles.

Daddy? the young changeling asks.

‘Hi, Del! I just wanted to check in with you. Um, you’re sort of on TV here. Can we talk privately?’

Everypony can see me?

James nods.

Del laughs. Inkie! I’ll be in my room! she calls, galloping to her room. How is it going, daddy?

‘We’re doing fine, sweetie. It is really boring without anything to do, but we still find ways to have fun.’

That is good. Can I come with you next time?

James laughs. ‘We’ll see. Um, actually, today, we were talking about you.’

Del blushes. Really?

‘Uh huh. I was telling all the delegates all about you and they just insisted on seeing you.’

Del’s blush increases. All the big important ponies can see me?

‘Uh huh. Your sister is even here.’

‘Hi, Del!’ Chrysalis shouts.

Hi, Chryssy!

James laughs. ‘How is Rei treating you?’

It is fine. Inkie is staying with us and helping take care of me. She’s even staying in Rei’s room.

‘They aren’t doing anything they shouldn’t, right?’

Del shakes her head. Rei is too chicken to do anything.

James laughs again. ‘That’s good. How is school?’

Del frowns. The mean pink one is being extra mean, but my friends are extra nice to make up for it.

‘I’ll have a word with Diamond’s father when I get back.’

Will that be soon, daddy? I miss you.

‘I miss you too, Del. I’ll be home soon, and I’ll bring lots of yummy treats from the Crystal Empire.’

Thank you, daddy! You’re the best!

‘I have to go now. It is almost time for dinner.’

Okay.

‘You stay good. I love you, Del.’

Del kisses the screen. I love you too, daddy! Bye bye, daddy! Bye bye, everypony else!

‘Bye, Del.’ James hangs up his mobile. He looks up at Orion. ‘I’m sorry. Were you saying something?’

The deer snarls at the stallion before turning and storming away. Artemis glares at James and Celestia before following her son away. The others mill about wondering what to do next.

‘That was truly deceitful, Mr Wanderer,’ Chrysalis says. She smiles. ‘Good job.’

Luna laughs and takes a seat at the table. ‘Seems Susanoo isn’t the only one you can silence, James.’

The Diamond Dog shouts silent threats to the princess before his mother forces him to sit.

James takes a seat, and Celestia sits beside him.

‘One thousand years of putting up with your “apologies” and even when I am not on the receiving end, they still hit me like a ton of bricks.’

‘Want to know a simple solution to dealing with them?’

Celestia looks over and smiles. She reaches out and boops James’ nose. The stallion smiles and boops her back. They laugh and return to preparing for their meal.

After dinner, Artemis is coaxed out of her room by Chrysalis offering up information about other changeling hives. While the delegates meet again, the escorts return to lounging around. Except for the bitter Orion and the silent Susanoo, the others are playing a game console James seems to have found.

Tempest laughs. ‘We have to get on of these once the trade restriction is lifted.’

‘I can drop one off in my free time,’ James replies.

Shining paces around the room. He keeps looking towards the conference hall.

‘I don’t like this,’ the unicorn states. ‘They have been in there for a long time.’

‘Worried that they were duped?’ Arthur asks.

‘Worse.’ Shining turns at looks at the griffin. ‘Worried that Sunshine and I are going to be very busy when we get back.’

The changelings cackle.

‘Our queen does not have much love for other hives,’ one says, eating some leftover cake.

‘She refused to discuss the siege of Canterlot with any but her top generals,’ the other adds. ‘She didn’t want to share our dinner.’

Shining glares. ‘You know, I was on the menu.’

‘You were the main course. We couldn’t touch you,’ the changeling laughs.

‘I know the feel, bro,’ James says.

The conference hall doors open. Cadence trots out, yawning.

‘Is it over?’ Shining asks.

‘Not by a long shot,’ Cadence replies. ‘I’m just not the security type.’

‘As am I,’ Gugu yawns as he is pushed out. ‘It sounds as if they will be at it for several more hours. I, for one, would like to get some sleep.’

‘But, dad!’ Tempest protests. ‘This is important!’

‘We’re under the sea, darling. We haven’t had to deal with changelings before now. There is no threat from them.’

‘Oh yeah?’ Tempest turns to the changelings. ‘Become one of us.’

The changelings look at each other. The one sets down his cake and groans. He trots to Gugu’s tank and climbs in. He focuses and changes into a normal sea pony, no wings or horn.

‘Holy crow. I didn’t know we could do this.’

Tempest frowns at her father. ‘And he is one of the good ones. Now get back in there and learn all you can!’

Gugu stares at the water in his tank. ‘Yes, dear.’ He smiles and laughs. ‘You sound like your mother more and more every day.’

Tempest screams and falls back in her tank. Gugu laughs harder as he is pushed back into the meeting.

Shining nuzzles his wife. ‘Let’s get you to bed. I’m sure Celestia will have orders for me in the morning.’

‘Just as long as you stand and deliver tonight, I’ll be happy.’

Shining turns and glares at James standing at his other side. The unicorn magically shoves the stallion back and trots away with his wife.

‘Your lips, mind, heart, body and magic say “no”, but your sister says “yes”!’ James calls. ‘On occasion. Maybe. If I behave myself.’

‘Goodnight, Mr Wanderer,’ Shining groans.

‘I love you too!’

Everypony laughs and goes back to playing games.

Thanks to a long night of security discussions, the delegates are exhausted at their final round of meetings. Luna leads the roll call while the others try to rest.

‘Chrysalis?’

The queen moans. ‘Venti caramel latte with a shot of soy milk. Arigato gozaimasu.’

‘We are not a Neighponese Ponybucks,’ Luna groans.

‘That is your fault, not mine.’

The princess rolls her eyes. ‘Celestia? Sister?’

A loud snore comes from beside Luna.

Luna rolls her eyes. ‘Now, picking up from where we left off last night. We had agreed on increased information sharing between our militaries. There was still some question as to the role Chrysalis’ hive would play.’

‘I think I proven myself loyal enough to your cause,’ Chrysalis says followed by a yawn. ‘I dislike my competitor’s hives as much as you. I’ve also given evidence of my hive’s efforts to protect Neighpon.’

‘You mean, protect your feeding grounds,’ Artemis snorts.

‘TomAto, toMAto,’ Chrysalis sighs. ‘The point is: we are protecting ponies, not draining their life force.’

‘Thank you, Chrysalis,’ Luna says, turning back to her notes. ‘We only have a few more proposals to discuss and vote on before we can call this gathering to a close. First of these, we need a vote on Celestia’s proposed lower house.’

‘Yes!’ Celestia shouts, sitting up.

‘We haven’t begun voting yet, sister,’ Luna sighs. She looks at the other delegates. ‘As this is a vote on changing the membership and/or rules of the League, the vote will be done by secret ballot. Two-thirds vote is needed to pass the measure.’ She levitates ballots and quills to each of the delegates. ‘As per League rules, we shall turn around to mark our ballots. Luckily, we have Chrysalis present to collect and shuffle our votes so we do not need call in a guard to do so. Is everypony ready?’ The delegates nod. ‘Turn and vote.’

The delegates turn to mark their ballots. Chrysalis yawns as she goes around the room collecting the ballots. She then magically shuffles them before placing them in front of Luna. The princess tallies the votes and sighs.

‘Five “Yay”, three “Nay”. The measure fails.’

‘Me damn it,’ Celestia grumbles.

‘That’s the way the cake crumbles, Celestia,’ Artemis taunts.

Luna clears her throat. ‘If we can move on, we have another important vote ahead of us.’

‘My membership?’ Chrysalis asks, beaming.

‘No,’ Luna replies. ‘Isis had a proposal for us.’

Isis stands. ‘Thank you. My proposal is this: instead of creating a new body within the League, we start inviting non-member states as observers. We have seen how useful in expanding our knowledge base has been with Chrysalis’ presence. If we have more representatives speak more often, we can get a wider worldview and be able to better shape our policies.’

‘Who are your proposed observers?’ Uther asks.

‘The same as with the trade deal we passed earlier this meeting. We know we can trust them. If we truly value their input, we can start investigating whether we would really like a lower house.’

‘And with my future membership, we can protect them from other changeling hives,’ Chrysalis adds.

‘I vote in favor just to see the Neighponese prime minister’s face when Chrysalis has to tell her about all the changelings in her country!’ Celestia shouts, waving a hoof in the air.

‘Again, this should be done by a secret vote,’ Isis says calmly.

Celestia groans as ballots are magically distributed. The delegates turn and mark their ballots. Chrysalis collects and shuffles them again. Isis counts the votes and smiles.

‘Seven to one, the proposal passes.’

Artemis groans and collapses in her seat.

Chrysalis looks around smiling. ‘Is it my turn yet?’

‘I believe so,’ Luna replies. ‘Are there any last comments on Chrysalis’ membership?’

‘She invaded Equestria and tried making my subjects into dinner,’ Celestia huffs. ‘That said, her threat has been neutralized on many occasions. Having her around could be beneficial in combating other changeling hives.’

‘I agree that she could provide useful intelligence,’ Amaterasu says. ‘She would make a useful ally.’

‘Those are good points, but I still cannot trust a changeling,’ Uther snorts.

‘She is a creature of lies and whichever members invited her should be expelled for even thinking it would be acceptable to allow a changeling in our ranks,’ Artemis snarls.

‘Ooo. She’s snippy,’ Chrysalis giggles.

Cadence takes a deep breath. ‘Chrysalis, you attacked me and tried stealing my husband. This whole trip you have done nothing but harass us. You are a grade-A pest.’

The changeling smiles proudly.

‘Any other opinions?’ Celestia asks. She gets head shakes in reply. ‘Okay. With final opinions closed, we move to the vote.’ She levitates the ballots out. ‘Standard secret ballot. Two-thirds votes needed to allow her to join. Chrysalis, will you get a guard to assist us? It would not be fair if your magic somehow changed the outcome.’

Chrysalis nods and leaves. The delegates mark their ballots. A crystal pony attendant enters, followed by Chrysalis. The crystal pony collects the ballots while Chrysalis watches nervously from a corner. The attendant shuffles the ballots and places them in front of Celestia. The princess takes a deep breath and begins counting. She counts the last vote and looks up.

Celestia calmly states, ‘Six in favor, two opposed. Queen Chrysalis and her hive are now members of the League of Harmony.’

Chrysalis tackles Celestia in a hug. ‘Thank you! I love you so much!’

‘Madness!’ Uther roars.

‘What!’ Artemis shouts. ‘Who are the traitors! It has to be one of you ponies! Admit it!’

‘I think it is obvious who the two opponents are,’ Gugu sighs.

‘Having Chrysalis on our side will be a great boon for the League,’ Celestia argues, trying to free herself from the hug. ‘The intelligence she can provide is invaluable. Not to mention, her hive will have to start coming out of the shadows. We do not have to change our laws to reflect our new member, but we can begin to change our attitudes towards her and maybe learn to accept her.’ She pushes Chrysalis’ face. ‘And can you hug somepony else!’

Chrysalis lets go and instantly latches on to Luna, giving the younger princess a big kiss as well.

Artemis storms from the room. ‘You will regret this mistake! You won’t even live, since your new friend will be the one standing over your corpses!’

The deer slams the doors as she marches to her room.

Cadence takes a deep breath and looks at the other delegates. ‘We should have a closing reception ready if all the business before the League is finished.’

The closing reception is winding down. The delegates mill about and enjoy the disappearing refreshments. Chrysalis hugs Osiris as he and Isis say their farewells. Artemis and Orion storm from their rooms. The queen marches through the room to Celestia.

‘I hope you are happy with your new friend,’ Artemis snorts. ‘Since you have lost this one.’

‘Artemis, you are still my friend,’ Celestia sighs. ‘I still value your friendship. I hope one day you will once again become the kind, just ruler I once knew. Perhaps your future dealings with the changing League will open your eyes and warm your heart.’

The deer growls and turns away. She storms out followed by her son. Uther walks over, watching the leaving delegates.

‘She does have a point,’ Uther notes. ‘Your embrace of changelings might cause some harm.’

Celestia smirks. ‘You were quite excited to learn changeling countermeasures.’

James trots over. ‘And you seemed to enjoy seeing my interaction with my daughter.’

‘You cannot deny that it is heartwarming to see a parent and child who care for each other.’ The griffin pauses and thinks. ‘Which reminds me. There was a recent incident in my country where a family was driven from their home. Arthur!’

The young griffin runs over. ‘Yes, father?’

‘When we get home, bring me the griffins that attacked the changeling family recently. They have to face justice for their assault on citizens of the empire. We also have to find the displaced family. It pains me to know some of our citizens were forced to exile themselves.’

‘But father, I thought changelings weren’t...’

‘They proved themselves to be better citizens than those that attacked them. And who will argue with the king when he grants them retroactive amnesty?’

‘Y-yes, father!’

Arthur runs away to begin preparations for their return. Uther turns back to look at the smiling princess and her friend.

‘What?’ Uther asks. ‘I know what my vote was. I have no plans to propose changing our laws, but that that doesn’t mean my personal opinions cannot evolve.’

The king marches away to converse with the other delegates. Chrysalis breaks away from the Thestrals and approaches Celestia. The queen bows.

‘Thank you so much for supporting me,’ Chrysalis says.

Celestia turns away. ‘Do not look into it. Twilight Sparkle already gave us the location of your lands years ago when you kidnapped her friends. We know where you live. This just allows us to keep a more watchful eye on you.’

‘Hmm. And I seem to remember that watchful eye at all of my concerts.’

‘Luna is a fan. I just didn’t want her to go alone.’

‘Yet she spent most of her time conversing with that lilac one with the amazing mane.’

Celestia frowns and narrows her eyes. Chrysalis grins. She turns to the pony beside the princess.

‘Thank you for allowing me to see Del,’ the queen says. ‘I’ll have to pay her a visit soon.’

‘She’ll love it. Just give us warning next time.’ James frowns. ‘Your after-visit benders with Daring and Berry are quite upsetting.’

‘Daring doesn’t seem upset when she gets into bed.’

The Irked Physicist’s eye twitches. ‘My bed.’

Chrysalis grins. ‘Thank you again for your support.’

Celestia snorts and turns her nose up. Chrysalis laughs and goes to Cadence and Shining. The unicorn tenses up and hides behind his wife.

‘Thank you for your support,’ the changeling says, bowing.

‘Rei encouraged me to forgive you. I may not have completely forgiven you, but I am willing to put aside my feelings for the sake of Equestria.’

‘Thank you. It honors me.’ She looks around the princess. ‘I guess we may see more of each other too.’

‘Please don’t hurt me,’ Shining whimpers.

‘I wouldn’t think of it... again.’ Chrysalis smiles at Cadence. ‘In all honesty, I did not do anything with your husband, even when he was under my spell. You were his first.’

‘Don’t tell her that!’ Shining shouts.

Cadence groans. ‘Thanks. Both of you. I appreciate your honesty.’

Chrysalis blushes and looks away. ‘If you don’t mind... Could I just once...’

The princess takes a deep breath. ‘Go ahead.’

The changeling smiles, leans in and kisses Cadence on the lips. The princess’ eyes go wide with surprise and her wings stick up in shock. Shining stares, jaw dropped. Chrysalis breaks the kiss with the stunned princess and smiles.

‘Your husband isn’t the only one in your relationship I find attractive.’

Cadence blushes. ‘Chr-Chr-Chry...’

‘That was too hot,’ Shining comments.

‘Shining!’ Cadence snaps.

‘Maybe I’ll let you join next time.’ Chrysalis winks.

‘Thank you,’ Shining whimpers.

‘SHINING!’

Chrysalis laughs loudly and goes back to enjoying the party. Cadence starts scolding her husband. James gets a drink from the reception. A pair of shadows loom over the pony. He turns to face Amaterasu and Susanoo.

The empress stares down at the pony. ‘My son told me of your trick that removed his ability to speak the past few days.’ She narrows her gaze. ‘That is a very nasty trick.’ She smiles. ‘Can you teach me?’

‘Mother!’

James laughs. ‘It is just a simple formula I came across. I can share it with you.’

‘Thank you, Mr Wanderer. It will come in handy.’

‘Mother!’

Amaterasu groans and leads her son away. James slips her a few of his special pills. The remaining delegates continue exchanging their farewells as the conference winds down.

Twilight Sparkle sits calmly on the throne in Canterlot castle. Her mane is disheveled. Her eye is twitching. She even looks like she is molting slightly.

‘Okay! We can do this!’ Twilight declares. ‘Fluttershy! Pinkie!’

The two ponies dash in front of their friend.

‘You two gather all the animals in the grand ballroom, and we can send them back to their cages en masse.’

The friends salute and gallop away.

‘Rainbow Dash!’

The pegasus flies to her friend.

‘Take all the royal guards and comb every centimeter of the sewers. We’ll find your missing Element of Harmony!’

Rainbow Dash salutes. ‘Yes, boss!’

The pegasus flies away to continue her search. Discord walks forward with Applejack and Rarity.

‘Okay. I think I got it this time,’ the draconequus states, snapping his fingers.

The two mares look at their bodies.

‘Phew!’ Applejack sighs, seeing orange hooves again. ‘Feels good t’ be back t’ normal.’

‘I completely agree darl-’ Rarity stares at her friend. ‘Deary, why are you the size of Apple Bloom.’

The ‘mares’ take more time to examine themselves. They scream when they see they have been changed back into fillies.

‘I can fix this!’ Discord shouts.

Twilight laughs nervously and fiddles with her mane. ‘Don’t worry. We have a few hours until the princesses and James return. We can have everything fixed by then.’

A guard gallops in with a scroll. ‘This just arrived, Princess Sparkle!’

‘What does it say?’

The guard clears his throat and reads, ‘Twilight Sparkle. We are taking James’ ship home. We will be back in a few minutes. Princess Celestia.’

Twilight’s eye twitches a few times. She places her crown on the guard’s head. ‘You’re the new princess. Bye!’

The princess flees the palace as fast as her wings can carry her.

Author's Note

Title suggested by Game Tia

Story Event: The idea for this chapter originally had more members. I know Zebras were for sure, and I have always wanted to use Crackle as Queen(?) of the dragons. Dragons were cut or forgotten long before serious development began. Zebras were dropped due to the inclusion of Thestrals. A wonderful fan suggested them (offering fan art if I ever included them) and when I did my research, I thought they were a wonderful idea. I changed them from the original description in Harry Potter to be more of a Russia location x Egyptian mythology sort of thing, allowing the others to see them as well. They may well be 'invisible' to those who haven't dealt with death, but everyone at the conference would have had to deal with death at some point in their lives.

Also, Twilight's scenes were originally planned as a bonus scene for the end, but I needed a break between the chapters, and her story lent itself perfectly to the job.

Everything Changes (Its Tune)

Main Characters: TWP, Octavia, Jack Harness
Cameos: Redheart, Lyra, Silver Fox, Shining Armor, Fancy Pants, Fleur, Moon Glow, Lyra’s parents, Melodia
Original Start Date: March 27, 2013

James runs the counter at The Power Block. Lucas talks with a customer about a recent game. Mimi comes out of the back, having finished restocking. The disguised changeling joins her boss. They get out hoofhelds and start playing against each other. The shop door opens, and the clerks turn to greet the new arrival. Both drop their game. James gallops around the counter to catch Octavia before the cellist falls over. The mare is covered in small cuts and bruises.

‘Try anything funny and I’ll cut you,’ Octavia threatens, passing out immediately afterwards.

‘Mimi, get Redheart,’ James commands. ‘Looks like something bad is going down.’

James carries his passenger upstairs while Mimi gallops to get help.

Octavia groans when she awakes. She is laying in a bed. Her injuries have been bandaged. Beside her, a white mare taps a hoofheld device. James sits in the background.

‘A little more rest and a healthy meal, and she’ll be good as new in no time,’ Redheart reports. ‘But she will have to do something important first.’

‘What?’ Octavia moans.

The nurse smiles and holds out clipboard with a medical report on it. ‘Could I trouble you for an autograph? I’m a big fan.’

Octavia laughs and signs. ‘At least somepony knows how to treat me properly.’ She smiles at Redheart. ‘There you go. It is wonderful to have fans such as you.’

Redheart takes the clipboard. ‘Good to know you’re one of the good ones.’ She trots to the door and punches James. ‘Remember: healthy meal and rest. And tell Rei that if she avoids her checkup again, I’ll have Daring drag her in kicking and screaming.’

James groans. ‘I’ll have a word with her.’

Redheart leaves. Octavia sits up.

‘I like her,’ the mare comments.

‘What happened to you?’ James asks.

‘And hello to you, too.’

‘You enter my shop and collapse. You were covered in wounds. Are you okay?’

‘According to the readout, she is fine,’ a new voice speaks.

Octavia grumbles. ‘You called Lyra?’

The unicorn sits with her friend on the bed. ‘Hey, I know if you see a changeling galloping across town to get Redheart, something has to be going down at The Power Block.’

‘Better you get involved now than hurt later.’ Octavia takes a deep breath. ‘I was attacked.’

‘Skybound’s stooges?’ Lyra asks.

‘Maxie’s minions?’ James questions.

‘Neither,’ Octavia replies. ‘It was one of my own.’

Lyra panics. ‘Another assassin? Are we safe here?’

‘Nopony in our organization is stupid enough to come here.’

‘Except you,’ James notes.

‘Right. Except me.’ Octavia pauses. ‘Hey!’ She throws a pillow at the stallion. ‘This is serious! Lives are in danger!’

‘And you lead them right to my daughters,’ James growls. ‘Can I trade you to keep them safe?’

‘I told you, nopony would dare anger you.’ Octavia leans back. ‘Everypony who has heard of you knows not to mess with you Time Lords or your loved ones.’

‘What about my loved ones?’ Lyra worries.

Octavia looks at her friend. ‘Tell Bon Bon to come here if you are concerned.’

‘Back on topic,’ James interrupts, ‘what did you do to get one of your own after you? Unless of course, this is your way of saying Kaeko is back in town.’

‘I don’t know who is after me,’ Octavia sighs. ‘It was after my last concert. I was heading back to my hotel when I just sensed something amiss. I left my cello and gear with Beauty Brass and caught the next train here. The assassin’s flunkies are now littering the rails from here to Los Arion.’

‘No other clues?’

Octavia shakes her head. ‘Not a one. I’ll have to contact headquarters to find out more.’

A mobile lands on the bed in Octavia’s lap. The mare sighs and picks it up. She makes a call. After several moments, she hangs up.

‘No answer. Something bad is going down.’

‘I’d let you hide here,’ James offers, ‘but the last time I tried that, Daring went stir crazy in a week.’

‘If we could access their computers, we’d be able to find something out.’

Lyra stretches. ‘Leave it to me. I can break into anything.’

Octavia laughs. ‘Impossible. The mainframe is kept on a secure network with layers of security that would make Celestia jealous. The only way you can access their files is in our headquarters. One pony tried, but his body was left in a dumpster.’ She smirks. ‘That was a fun afternoon.’

‘So, we have an unknown enemy who is willing to target assassins and the only way to find out who it could be is to break into the only place in Equestria more secure than this building?’ Lyra asks.

‘I know just who to call,’ James says.

A dark blue stallion shoots a basketball in an enclosed rec center. A loud beeping sounds right as he takes the shot, causing him to miss the basket. He groans.

‘Coming!’ the stallion shouts.

He trots from the basketball court and through a series of halls. He reaches a computer center. A monitor is flashing. He taps a keyboard.

‘Now, who caused me to miss my hookshot?’ the stallion states.

Hello, Jack, James greets from the monitor.

‘Jimmy!’ Jack Harness cheers. ‘It has been a long time.’

Has it? I try my hardest to avoid dealing with your organization.

Jack shrugs. ‘Well, I figured you were the ones who gave me those lovely Cyberpony samples in Neighpon recently. The rest of the crew is still out retrieving the ship. Do you know how hard it is getting a Cyber scout ship out from under a national monument in the middle of a Neighponese city without anypony noticing?’

Who’s that? Lyra asks, pushing her way on screen.

Jack smiles coyly. ‘Hello.’

Not now, Jack, James moans.

Sorry. I’m married. Lyra replies. She turns back. I thought you said the pony who ran Trotswood was cute or is she coming later?

‘Cute? James, I’m touched.’

In more ways than one, the other stallion groans. Jack, we need your help.

‘Every time I help you or the Doctor, I get in some major trouble. What’s in it for me?’

James closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I’ll let you make one pass at Rei.

Jack’s eyes go wide. ‘If that is on the table, it must be something more dangerous than breaking into a Dalek fortress in the middle of a black hole in order to steal the Key of Time from Rassilon who is armed with the Hand of Omega, freshly delivered by the Master.’

If you’re not interested...

Jack smiles broadly. ‘Tell me what to do.’

James, Octavia and Lyra ride a train to Canterlot. Octavia lays on a bench. A small meal is beside her head. James and Lyra are on their mobiles.

‘No, mom, you’re not listening,’ Lyra says. ‘I want you to take dad and go to Melodia’s house for a while. I’ll tell you why later. Trust me. Okay? Good. Love ya.’ She hangs up. ‘Sheesh! Parents! Thanks for asking your mom to watch everypony for us.’

‘They need protection. She is the best we have to offer until we know what is going on.’ Octavia sits up. ‘Mr Wanderer, can I borrow your mobile for a moment?’ The stallion gives her his mobile. She starts dialing

Lyra makes another call. ‘Silver? Hey, I’ve got a favor to ask.’

A favor? Great! Just what I need right now. Silver Fox says from a video call. I’ve done nothing but favors for you recently. You know how hard it was going public with my secret identity? Damn annoying, is what it was! Luckily, I only got ordered to work for your damn school as some kind of twisted community service. You are lucky my contract renewal was going to be pure crap, and I wanted an out. She snorts. And how are you?

‘Somepony is targeting Octavia. If they know her, they know us. Get your parents and get to Melodia’s place.’

Well, damn. Why didn’t you say so? You’ll fill me in on the plan when you arrive?

Lyra shrugs. ‘We’ll do our best.’

Okay. Class is cancelled.

Silver hangs up. Lyra breathes a sigh of relief. On her bench, Octavia looks upset. The other end of the line is picked up and her ears perk up.

‘Vinyl? Hey, listen... Can you go to my mom’s for a bit? N-nothing is wrong. Just go there for a bit, okay? I’ll explain when it is all over.’ She pauses. ‘Hey, um... Once it is all done... would you want to move in with me? Yes, I’m feeling all right. I just... I mean I... Be safe, will you?’

Octavia gives the mobile back. She smiles and wipes some tears. James pats his friend on the shoulder. The train whistle sounds as it slows to a stop.

‘Behind the bin near the mares’ washroom?’ Octavia asks.

‘Just don’t ask how he got it there,’ James replies.

Octavia groans and gallops away. James and Lyra calmly trot off the train. They make their way through the station. As they near the main concourse, they spot a very conspicuous pony. Jack Harness stands in the middle of the crowds, flashing his trademark grin, clad in his old air force uniform.

‘Good to see you, James,’ Jack greats.

‘Jack.’

‘It must be bad if you’re more antisocial than ever.’ Jack turns to Lyra. ‘And who might you be?’

‘You know how Trotswood sold that “questionable” gene sequencing technology recently? Thank my parents.’

‘Ah! Lyra Heartstrings. The greatest information broker on the planet.’ He taps Lyra’s head. ‘The secrets here are worth more than your family’s company.’

‘That’s nice to hear from somepony older than Celestia,’ Lyra replies, smiling.

Jack smirks. ‘So, what’s the fix and why one third of The Trio?’

‘Assassins are being targeted, and we need to know who,’ James replies. ‘I have a feeling you might have some knowledge of their inner workings.’

Jack holds his hooves up defensively. ‘Whoa! Trotswood might have a bit of a long reach, but it is not that far. I mean, I tried getting in once, but the cutest little grey filly used me as a pin cushion. I was recuperating for a week afterward. Me!’

‘Little...’ James gapes.

‘Grey...’ Lyra stares at Jack.

‘Filly?’ they say in unison.

‘How many times have I told you not to tease me in public?’ Octavia snorts as she trots up. She is in her armor and robe, but her hood is down.

Jack smiles. ‘Hello.’

Octavia shoves her hidden blade into the stallion’s chest. The other wince as Jack falls.

‘I see you remember he comes back.’ James grimaces.

‘He comes back?’ Octavia asks.

Jack gasps and sits up. ‘I remember you now. Just as sharp as ever. Not just the blades.’

Octavia grins. ‘Oh, this will be fun.’ She leans down and runs her hidden blade across Jack’s throat. ‘Try that again and I’ll find a new way every time.’

‘Thanks for the warning.’ Jack grunts as he stands. ‘I liked this shirt.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘Well, if you’re being targeted, let’s get back to base and plan the raid.’

‘You told him already?’

James shrugs. ‘Between you killing everything in sight and his ability to be killed, this might be the best shot we have.’

Octavia sighs and looks at Jack. ‘Canary Wharf, right?’

‘The Hub, hidden under a tourist center,’ Jack replies.

Octavia scowls. ‘Ah. The boring place.’

‘We have a dinosaur.’

‘Excuses!’ Octavia shouts, trotting away.

The others sigh and trot after her.

‘A dinosaur?’ James asks.

‘An eager “applicant” caught it from a rift near Ponyville,’ Jack explains. ‘I’d watch that area for more incursions. Don’t want a whole Silurian tribe popping up at some point.’

James groans. ‘I’ll keep my eyes open.’

‘What’s a dinosaur?’ Lyra asks.

‘You took her to Earth, but you didn’t show her the dinosaurs?’ Jack exclaims.

‘She wanted to see the stupid, smelly apes!’ James defends. ‘We didn’t get to see the cool stuff.’

Lyra groans and pushes past. ‘Aliens.’

‘Hey!’ Jack shouts. ‘He’s the alien. I’m a time traveller.’

‘And you’re both slowing us down!’ Octavia shouts.

The stallions groan and hurry to catch up.

At The Hub, everypony is gathered around a workstation. Jack has a mug of coffee. Lyra types away. Octavia sits behind the group, sharpening her blades.

‘You’re welcome, by the way,’ Jack says. ‘I had a hard time convincing your friend to let me have your case and an even tougher time getting it into your apartment with your friend there.’

Octavia looks up from her blades. ‘Did you seduce Beauty Brass?’

‘HA!’ James laughs. ‘Future pony pheromones. He’s usually in at “hello”.’ He gets a mug of coffee of his own. ‘I’m surprised Vinyl resisted you.’ He takes a sip. ‘Do you have Sugar Cloud tied up in the back or something?’

‘What makes you think Vinyl resisted?’

‘Octavia hasn’t killed you yet... again.’

Jack laughs. ‘You and The Doctor. You’re always a step ahead.’

Lyra finishes typing. ‘Well. I’m impressed. I’d say you have about half of it right.’

‘And the other half?’

The unicorn motions with her hooves. ‘Aliens.’

Octavia groans. ‘Standing in front of you!’

‘No, that is the part that is right.’ Lyra taps all the screen. ‘I think Tavi cut the memory part of your brain out when you tried to raid their base. Everything is all wrong. You even list Kaeko as still being active.’

‘She’s not?’ Octavia asks.

‘Retired six years ago when she moved to Ponyville and set up her shop.’ Lyra shrugs. ‘She did maintain her contacts. Great source of information when I tapped her fiber.’ She glances at James. ‘You don’t want to know what Daring looks up when she is bored.’

‘Tamer than what Rei downloads,’ the father shrugs.

‘My life and the lives of everypony I care about are being threatened!’ Octavia shouts. ‘I’ll buy both of them a lifetime’s supply of clop if we can just cut to the part about how we stop the killer!’

Lyra turns to her friend. ‘Killer? Thought you were just attacked.’

‘That sense I told you about...’ -- Octavia takes a breath -- ‘it was more like blood seeping into the carpet under my hotel room door.’

The unicorn turns back to the computer. She puts on a headset. ‘And that is why I am staying here during the operation. One main entry point guarded with more firepower than I can muster in a lifetime of magic.’ She brings up a new screen. ‘Now, point to where on the map your base is located.’

Octavia glances around. ‘That is private.’

Jack groans and points. ‘There. Right in downtown. Moved after my attempted raid. You can keep it secret from the rest of the world, but it is hard to disguise loads of work crews fortifying the core of the building and the power flow going into that place. Won’t even mention the one and only one fiber line going in and out of the building. Hoshi had to build our system from scratch after the last time we tried getting through your defenses.’

James raises an eyebrow. ‘Defenses?’

‘Every incoming packet is met with a sonic pulse. Unless met with a counter-pulse, nothing will get through and your system will burn. They likely send a pulse ahead of their outgoing packets so they don’t accidentally fry every computer on the planet.’ Jack sips his coffee and looks at Octavia. ‘We just pinged their line. They shut down the internet in this half of the city for three days. We spent the night putting out the fires you caused in here.’

‘Only half the city?’ James turns to Octavia. ‘I thought I told them the proper settings to blank the city if anypony tried getting in.’

‘And the power requirements for just this setting costs more than running my school for a year.’

‘Excuses!’

Jack laughs. ‘I figured you were the one who gave it to them. We’ll have to get ours upgraded to match them.’ He goes to his office and gets his coat. ‘Shall we be off?’

‘Even with me, we’re not getting in without a fight,’ Octavia replies.

‘Sure we can. James flies us in. Lyra plugs into the mainframe. You tell us who we’re after. You and I bust some skulls. Simple as that.’ Jack looks at James. ‘Unless there is something you’re keeping from me.’

James holds his forelegs up defensively. ‘Hey. The pulse generator was payment for Daring. But I’m staying here with Lyra.’

‘Come on, James. Not like a Time Lord to sit on the sidelines. Hell, River is usually in the middle of the trouble in most of our encounters.’

‘I’m going back to Twilight with the face I have now. If I go return home and I don’t care for her or my daughters, I promise to hold on to the drive to use up all of your excess life energy in the most painful ways possible. So if you’ll excuse me, I would prefer not getting in the middle of a war between a rogue assassin, the organization that trained her and the two of you.’ James laughs slightly. ‘Is that okay?’

Everypony takes a step back. Jack adjusts his coat and places his gun inside. Octavia pulls her hood over her head.

‘Let’s go, pretty boy,’ Octavia grunts.

Jack smirks. ‘Pretty?’

The mare stabs him in the chest. ‘Figure of speech.’ She trots away from the body. ‘Coming?’

Jack groans as he stands. ‘I have got to stop wearing my good shirts around her.’

James drinks his coffee. ‘Try being around her when she is upset.’

Jack groans again and follows Octavia.

Octavia and Jack gallop into an office building. Jack rounds the security desk. He checks the officer on duty, but he gets no pulse. Octavia gallops to a stairwell.

‘Direct route to HQ. Forget about him.’

‘He activated the alarm,’ Jack reports. ‘Police will be here in a matter of minutes.’

Give me a sec, James says over their headsets.

Is this thing on? a voice asks.

Jack grins. ‘Hello.’

He’s mine, Jack! James yells. Ahem. Go ahead, sexy. I mean, Shining.

Uh, Shining Armor stutters. I’ll keep my men back. Just hurry.

‘You’re going to allow outsiders into the op?’ Jack asks.

‘They aren’t coming in to help. They are clean up,’ Octavia replies. ‘Right, handsome?’

He’s mine, Octavia, James growls.

After Skybound, we have been liaising with the various organizations operating within Equestria. It makes the cover-ups go smoother, Shining explains. Didn’t you get the memo?

‘Hurry up!’ Octavia shouts. ‘This area is probably just ten minutes from a gas leak explosion.’

‘Gas leak?’ Jack asks.

‘The core of the building is rigged with a self-destruct device designed to look like a gas leak. Everything of value will be blown away and buried under rubble.’ She enters the stairwell. ‘Are you coming or not!’

Octavia gallops down the stairs. Jack grunts and follows. They pass many more bodies as they head down several flights of stairs.

‘And that makes five,’ Jack counts. ‘Looks like they were taken out on the way up.’

‘Wrong way. They were at the front door. Whoever broke in was tough enough to battle them all the way down.’

‘And all these doors?’

‘Like you don’t have rooms for show at your half-rate fortress,’ Octavia snorts.

The assassin jumps a rail and lands in front of an open door. She steps over the body keeping it open and enters a destroyed office space. Cubicles are trashed. Several computers are destroyed. Some workspaces are on fire. The ponies that are not dead are either bleeding to death or tending to those that are bleeding to death. A pegasus pulls an unicorn’s horn from his shoulder before tending to a fallen ally. An unicorn uses her magic as a sling while she ties a bandage around another pegasus’ broken wings. Jack pushes past a shocked Octavia.

‘Five guards, a false door and an office of trained killers were a much better deterrent than terawatt force fields, automatic lasers that can puncture Dalekanium and a neurotoxin that can drop a legion of Sontarans in a single second,’ Jack says as he helps the unicorn with the pegasus.

Octavia regains her composure and trots through the office. She passes several more wounded ponies. One of the barely-injured ponies notices the new arrival and salutes.

‘How long?’ Octavia asks.

‘F-five minutes,’ the pony reports.

‘Damn.’ Octavia gets out a small USB device. ‘Plug this into the mainframe and download as much as you can. Sensitive data first. Once that is started, get as many survivors out as possible. If they are too far gone, leave them.’

‘Y-yes, ma’am.’

Octavia wipes a tear. ‘P-please find as many as possible.’

Octavia gallops deeper into the building Jack follows after her. They pass more injured ponies trying to evacuate. A number of doors are blown off and their rooms collapsed. The mare growls and taps her headset.

‘Pretty boy, you there?’

‘Right behind you,’ Jack replies.

‘Not you.’

I’m here, James says.

‘I mean your brother-in-law!’ Octavia growls. ‘Shining, wounded coming your way. If you have somepony who can keep a secret, send them down to help.’

A bolt of magic passes Octavia. She stops. In front of her, an unicorn in a dark blue hood and robe aims another shot while backing towards a server bank.

‘About time you show up,’ the unicorn snorts. ‘I knew my minions couldn’t handle you on the train, but it slowed you down enough for me to get here and get what I want.’

‘And you have only four minutes to get past me, out of here and through the royal guards before a “gas leak” destroys the building.’

‘More than enough time.’

The unicorn stands on her hind legs and extends her hidden blades from under her robe. Octavia does the same. The unicorn charges. The two warriors exchange blows. Octavia is faster, but the unicorn uses her magic to create shields to block additional attacks.

‘What the hell is going on?’ Octavia demands. ‘Why are you attacking other assassins?’

‘Are you really that dumb?’ the unicorn scoffs. ‘It is all your fault.’

‘Huh?’

‘You went soft against Skybound. That sent ripples through the whole organization,’ the unicorn accuses. ‘Orders were less and less about justice and more about turning the criminals over to the do-nothing authorities like the ones you have outside. I am going to purge the organization of weakness and rebuild us as the true protectors of Equestria!’

‘You’re insane.’

‘And you’re soft. You’re weak.’ She magically forces Octavia back. ‘You’re dead.’

The unicorn charges a spell on her horn. Before she can fire, a shot rings out and smashes into the servers.

‘We got all we needed,’ Jack reports. ‘And I hate to come between two beautiful mares, but we have to get out of here.’

The unicorn removes a drive from the smoking servers. ‘I have enough here to begin the purge. Those who won’t join, will die.’ She smirks. ‘And don’t think hiding at mommy’s house will help you. They are good as dead already.’

The unicorn discharges her spell and disappears. Jack fires again, but the shot goes through the disappearing unicorn.

‘How the hell..?’

Octavia sighs. ‘Ironically, we leave the top unshielded. It is for magic users to get in and out quickly.’

‘And how does that help us?’

‘Well, were there any unicorns still alive out there?’

‘With or without horns?’

Octavia taps her headset. ‘Mr Wanderer, tell Vinyl...’

A rose-colored burst of magic appears behind the ponies. Shining grabs them and charges a spell.

‘Hello,’ Jack says with a smile.

I’ll gut you! James screams.

Shining teleports everypony away right as explosions bring the building down on top of them.

Back at The Hub, Lyra works at the computer. Octavia sits on a couch and holds her head. James brings her a mug of coffee.

‘Thanks.’ Octavia takes a sip. ‘It feels horrible.’

‘Theta was the one who blew up the planet while I was away. I wish I could say I can relate, but I really didn’t like it back there.’

‘Not that. We got most of the information on our operatives and operations. Lyra is contacting them and telling them to be ready.’ She sips again. ‘It feels bad being blamed for all of this.’

‘We don’t know what the unicorn said was true. It could have been displacement.’

Octavia looks away. ‘After Skybound, all our orders were to bring targets in alive or turn them over to the authorities. I was the first to do so with that mission. It is my fault.’

‘Well, I was the one who convinced you to let him live. You can blame me.’

Lyra turns around. ‘I have some good news and some bad news.’

‘Good,’ Octavia states.

‘Checking the operative list versus recent deaths in the news, it is very possible that your attacker didn’t get to them before the raid.’

‘And the bad?’

Lyra takes a deep breath. ‘Unless you want to run the organization yourself, most of the staff is either dead, in intensive care or MIA, likely still in the building...’

‘We had trainers, scouts, secretaries, analysts and all the administration in that building. Not to mention funding and cover businesses. Everypony who had access to the finances were in there.’ Octavia hangs her head. ‘This is impossible.’

‘Regular impossible or extra-crispy impossible?’ James asks.

‘The impossible that says that even with all our contacts and operatives recovered, we don’t have the infrastructure to exist. She won without even killing us.’

‘And the better news is that I have IDed the unicorn,’ Lyra states. She brings up a picture of a dark purple unicorn with a yellow and pink mane on the monitors. ‘By using her basic description and a voice sample, I was able to identify her as Bright Orchid. She runs, er, ran a flower shop in Los Arion. Master of assault tactics. Worked really hard at cleaning up gang activity in her area of the city. She is known for using any means necessary for taking out her targets.’

‘She was recruited a few years before me,’ Octavia adds. ‘My handler talked about her a lot. He didn’t really care for her. Apparently, her cover in LA was punishment for a little too violent handling of a corrupt MP.’

‘Is your handler still about?’ James asks.

‘Why?’

‘I’m working on your infrastructure problem.’

Octavia stares at James, then gets an idea. She smiles and turns to Lyra. ‘Get me a list of all of tonight’s social events in Canterlot. You’re also going to have to call in a few favors to get us tickets.’ She turns back to James. ‘You’re going to need a tuxedo.’

James stares back. ‘Why does this feel worse than the op you just ran?’

Jack trots through a hospital. The entire ward is filled with survivors from the attack. A television broadcasts the ongoing rescue efforts of ponies trapped in the rubble. Shining Armor is giving an interview about the explosion. Jack sighs and continues his patrol, looking for a survivor who is still conscious. He stops outside a room and sighs.

‘You are not going to talk with any of them.’

Jack turns. A young cream-colored unicorn with a light green mane trots up to the stallion.

‘Hello,’ Jack greets with a smile.

‘I’m sixteen, and I prefer the artistic types.’ The young mare sighs and shakes her head. ‘I’m Moon Glow. I was recruited only a few months ago. I was in Canterlot for training when we were attacked. I don’t really have anything to go back to now...’

‘I’m sure the organization will pull through.’

‘Unless the attacker doesn’t wipe us all out tonight. We can’t get police protection; not like that would stop her.’

‘You’ll be fine. Octavia will keep you safe.’

Moon Glow sighs. ‘I hope so, mister. I really hope so.’

Octavia trots through a large social gathering. The important ponies of Canterlot greet the famous cellist. James groans as he follows.

‘I am so glad Twilight doesn’t like functions like these and prefers functions like Ψ(x,t),’ the stallion complains.

‘Just shut up and look pretty,’ Octavia snorts. ‘I’ll do the rest.’

‘If you wanted pretty, you should have asked Jack.’

‘I have him guarding the hospital. He is more useful there.’ She stops behind a tall unicorn in a suit and taps his shoulder. ‘May I have the next dance?’

Fancy Pants turns around. He gasps when he sees Octavia.

‘Hey, Mr Fancy Pants,’ James greets, earning an kick to the gut from a short grey earth pony mare.

‘Miss Philharmonica!’ Fancy Pants cheers. ‘So rare to see you at one of these functions and not as a performer.’

‘My schedule was free. Now, about the dance?’

Fancy Pants bows and leads Octavia to the dance floor. Fleur trots over and stands by James.

‘You’re that pony from the garden party last year.’

James giggles, ‘Pants.’

Fleur groans and holds out a hoof. ‘I’m Fleur. Charmed, I’m sure.’

James shakes the hoof. ‘Sure. Why not? Are ya famous or something?’

Fleur groans. ‘You must be that Mr Wanderer the Canterlot circles are talking about. The crass pony that is somehow engaged to Princess Sparkle.’

James blushes. ‘Well, we’re not engaged yet...’

‘Hurry up, then. We need more ponies like you to shake things up. The Canterlot elite is so~ boring.’
...

On the dance floor, Fancy Pants leads Octavia as they circle the room.

‘I saw the reports. I’m surprised you’re alive,’ Fancy Pants states.

‘The prince saved us at the last second,’ Octavia sighs. ‘We need your help.’

‘I’m out of the game, Octavia. You were the last pony I supervised. I cannot have any more connection to the organization.’

‘Says one of the few living ponies to collect a surprisingly large insurance payoff from the loss of a major metropolitan office complex.’ Fancy Pants spins Octavia. She comes back smirking. ‘Not to mention the sale of companies and assets that were lost today.’

Fancy Pants frowns. ‘I have already made plans to invest those payoffs in charity. Any efforts to taint the money will look like an attack on charity.’

‘Would a music school happen to be one of the charities in mind?’

‘What are you scheming, Miss Philharmonica?’

‘We have facilities and staff. Depending on how many ponies survive the night, we might need some more funds to make some new hires.’

‘You would turn your school into a new headquarters? A school you bought from Skybound and employ an infamous thief at?’

‘Reggie donated the school back to the district. My mother and I just kept it from becoming something other than a performing arts academy.’ Octavia is spun again. ‘As for Silver Fox... She volunteers. She quit her show to help a new generation of actresses follow in her hoofsteps. There are only rumors that her show was based on real crimes.’

‘You would need administrators.’

‘Arctic Fox and my mother.’

‘And trainers.’

‘We can call Fyrefly from Cloudsdale for one.’

‘And a cover story.’

‘Did you miss the part about the performing arts school?’

The music stops. The mares and stallions bow. Fancy Pants leads Octavia back to their escorts. Fleur is giggling at the pictures of Rei and Del that James is showing her. They stop and look over as the others return.

‘Can I be on the recruitment team?’ Fleur asks. ‘It would be such a wonderful excuse for you to take me more places.’

Fancy Pants groans. ‘We’ll see. I’ll have to contact some others first.’ He looks at Octavia. ‘As well as Melodia.’

‘She’s, uh, a little busy right now.’

Fancy Pants raises an eyebrow.

‘She’s guarding our families. Silver is there helping her.’

‘Melodia might have been one of the finer recruits the organization has seen,’ Fancy Pants begins, ‘but two ponies versus one who can bring down the headquarters.’

‘M-m-mom can handle Orchid.’

Fancy Pants tenses up. ‘Orchid? She is behind this?’

Octavia nods. Fancy Pants turns and trots towards the exit.

‘Get to your mother’s right away. I’ll call in every favor I can to get you all the backup you need. Do you have anypony at the hospital?’

‘N-’

‘I’ll have Prince Shining Armor there himself if I can, but you might have to settle for Commander Sunshine for now. No. Scratch that. His brother will guard them. I’m getting Sunshine to back you up.’

‘Fancy Pants, what are you saying?’ Octavia asks.

‘I always knew she was a loose cannon. I wanted her banished or even arrested, but the higher ups settled on relocation and my retirement. We should have gotten rid of her a long time ago.’ He stops and looks at Octavia. ‘Remember everything you learned, especially the compassion and desire to protect others you recently acquired. That will save your life. Do you need me to call a cab to get you home faster?’

‘No need,’ James replies. He opens a closet. ‘I have us covered.’ He turns and gets out his mobile. ‘Jack? We have new orders.’

Fancy Pants gives Octavia a hug. ‘Good luck.’

Octavia smiles and adjusts her bow tie. ‘Trust me. I’m a cellist.’

Two older green unicorns trot through a mansion. They approach a burgundy mare wearing a white robe. The male unicorn clears his throat.

‘Miss Philharmonica, how long do you plan to keep us in that cellar of yours?’

Mel groans and turns around. ‘You are free to use the rest of the house as long as Silver or I escort you. The basement is the easiest room to defend. Do you want to risk your life against somepony who can bring down a whole building?’

‘What my husband means,’ the unicorn mare speaks up, ‘is that we would have preferred hiding at our mansion since our staff knows our tastes better.’

‘And we wouldn’t have to make our own meals.’

Mel sighs. ‘Mr and Mrs Heartstrings, you have known me since Lyra was a baby. You know you can trust me. Until we know it is safe, please put up with these few restrictions. We’ll be able to get back to a normal life soon.’

Mr Heartstrings smiles. ‘We trust you. We’re just worried for our children.’ A loud crash is heard. ‘And now ourselves.’

The unicorn raise shields around the group. They keep spells charged on their horns. Mel looks around for the attacker. An object impacts the shields. Mr Heartstrings strains to stop a bullet from breaking through.

‘Safe with you, eh?’ Mr Heartstrings taunts.

‘Good catch, dear,’ Mrs Heartstrings compliments. ‘Got the shield?’

The stallion’s eyes flash, and the shields glow brighter. Mrs Heartstrings releases the spell on her horn. A burst of magic radiates from her and fills the mansion. A glowing form drops from the ceiling and lands with blades drawn. A ring of shields and firearms levitates around it.

‘Pretty clever, but your illumination spell will only last as long as you’re alive,’ Orchid growls.

A glowing pegasus drops from the ceiling and throws daggers at Orchid. The attack is blocked by one of Orchid’s shields. The unicorn aims a firearm up and fires at Silver. The pegasus flies away and throws another dagger, knocking the weapon from the unicorn’s magical grip. Orchid fires another weapon at Silver. She turns back to her original targets, but they are gone. She growls and trots through the halls.

‘Having a heart makes you sentimental. Having a heart makes you weak. You care to much to finish what you start.’

A sword stabs out in front of Orchid. She knocks it away with a shield and swings her blade. A white-hooded figure rolls out of the way and blocks the path. A bit of grey mane sticks from under the hood.

‘Getting slow in your old age,’ Orchid taunts.

The hooded pony motions for the unicorn to follow and gallops down a hallway. Orchid gives chase. The hooded pony ducks into the kitchen. Orchid drops her shields and weapons as they get caught on the stoves and counters. The leading pony dodges a magic blast by going down a side stairs. The angry unicorn follows. The hooded pony leads them through a sound studio and traps herself in the recording booth. Orchid growls and advances with her blades drawn.

‘Thank you for trapping yourself, Melodia,’ the unicorn snarls. ‘We should have plenty of time together while I carve you up for your daughter.

The hooded pony stands and pulls back her hood. ‘Now,’ Octavia commands.

The door slams behind Orchid. Vinyl pops up in the control room and cranks a dial. A high pressure bassline plays from the booth’s playback speakers. Orchid screams and covers her ears. Octavia calmly walks over to her attacker and disarms her while she writhes in pain. The sound is turned down, and Octavia places a magic-cancelling ring on Orchid’s horn. She removes earplugs and drops them on the ground.

‘When you live with Vinyl, you learn to protect your ears,’ Octavia says, dragging the unicorn from the booth. ‘She’s all yours, Jack.’

Orchid groans and looks up at the stallion above her.

‘Hello,’ Jack greets, grinning.

‘Not now, Jack,’ Octavia groans.

Orchid looks around her. She kicks back, knocking Octavia into the booth, while she swings upward, stabbing Jack in the chest. The stallion falls while the criminal unicorn jumps up. She holds her blade towards Vinyl while she knocks a cabinet in front of the booth door. Orchid gallops away, allowing Vinyl to help her friends. Jack groans as he stands up.

‘Help Octavia,’ Jack tells Vinyl. ‘I’ll get Orchid.’

Orchid removes the ring from her horn as she gallops from the recording studio. She levitates a pair of her guns as she passes back into the kitchen. She bursts into a dining room, only to be confronted by Mel. The older assassin aims a hoof-mounted gun at the unicorn. Orchid charges and Mel fires. The shot is deflected by a magical shield. Orchid plows into Mel and catches her in her magic. They enter a foyer. Silver, Arctic and the Heartstrings are waiting. Orchid levitates a gun to Mel’s head.

‘Don’t try anything or she gets it,’ the unicorn threatens.

The others grit their teeth and back away. Orchid edges towards the door with her hostage.

‘That’s right. You won’t do anything. You care too much,’ the criminal spits. ‘You listen to your hearts and not your heads. You think your feelings and caring make you strong. HA! It makes you weaker. It allowed me to destroy the organization. I just defeated their top star too, and I have her mother at my mercy. How? Because I don’t care for anything! You searched for justice. This is it!’

Orchid kicks open the doors and steps outside. The mansion is crawling with bat ponies as they watch the criminal. Most are armed with spears. Several have electrified claws on their hooves. Sunshine stands in the way, ready to pounce. Orchid continues walking, pressing her gun into Mel’s head even more.

‘This is the justice you were fighting for!’ Orchid shouts. ‘Your pathetic adherence to your weak emotions will end in the death of you all! Watch as your kindness and caring are destroyed!’

Orchid starts pulling the trigger on her gun. Sunshine leaps forward to stop her. A shot rings out. Sunshine catches Mel as she falls. Orchid hits the ground, bleeding from a hole in her head. Mel thanks the bat pony and stands. She looks back at the house. Jack takes a deep breath and holsters his pistol. The Night Guard close on the house to begin cleanup operations.

James stands outside of a closet in the backstage area of an auditorium. Octavia and Lyra exchange their goodbyes with their friend.

‘You’re always good for an adventure,’ James laughs, hugging Octavia. ‘Let’s hope this is the last for a long while.’

‘Agreed. I need a few mellow gigs to relax with after this.’

The stallion smiles. ‘Speaking of which, have you ever wanted to play a wedding?’

Octavia smiles and laughs. ‘It would be my honor.’ She looks towards the front of the stage. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to stick around and see your idea come to completion?’

‘What idea? This is all you.’ He looks into the closet. Jack is waiting. ‘Besides, I have another promise to keep,’ the stallion groans.

‘Good luck,’ the mares say.

‘You’re gonna need it,’ Lyra adds.

‘Back at ya,’ James replies.

The stallion enters his TARDIS and powers it up. Once the closet is gone, the mares take a breath and turn around. They trot up to Silver. The Trio trots onto stage together. A small number of ponies are gathered. Most are injured, but they are all in good spirits. Fleur and Moon Glow tend to some of the more injured ponies. To one side of the stage, Fancy Pants talks with Arctic, Mel and Lyra’s parents.

‘Greetings,’ Octavia says. ‘It is wonderful to see you all again and in much better surroundings. The old organization is dead but today, a new one will rise from the ashes. One that will prevent those like Bright Orchid from ever joining. One that will bring justice to those that will dare harm Equestria or our allies.’ She smiles evilly. ‘One with an appreciation for classical music.’

The audience gasps.

‘NOOOO!!!!!’ Vinyl cries as she drops to the floor and weeps.

James escorts Jack down to The Power Block after landing the TARDIS. They wave to Lucas and Mimi as they exit and cross the street to Neighponese Imports.

‘Konichiwa, otoosan!’ Rei greets.

‘Rei, this is my friend Jack. Jack, this is Rei,’ James introduces.

Jack takes Rei’s hoof and kisses it. ‘Hello.’

Rei blushes. She rounds the counter. She looks the stallion over before going around him and kicking between his hind legs. Jack screams in pain and falls over. Rei snorts and goes back to the counter.

‘You’re nowhere near as cute as Inkie-chan.’

‘This is worse than being killed,’ Jack moans. He looks up and sees somepony. ‘Daring?’

The pegasus looks around. ‘Uh, well, you see, archaeology is an imprecise science,’ Daring dodges as she gallops to the back to hide in her apartment.

James laughs, yawns and heads back across the street to get to work.

Author's Note

Sorry for the chapter losing its tone around the middle. I started running into troubles planning this chapter. I wanted to change up Octavia's organization so that it would be centered around the Trio and their school. I ran into problems using Jack and ending the chapter.

I wish I did better with the initial idea. Sorry.

PS: Watch for a bonus scene for this chapter in the future. You'll like it.

The Ultimate Question

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight
Cameos: All of their friends
Original Start Date: March 03, 2013

James trots around The Power Block as he gets ready for a trip. Del watches her father from the couch. The stallion quickly ducks into the changeling’s room before joining his daughter.

‘Are you going to be okay alone until Rei gets off work?’ James asks.

Del nods. ‘Inkie is coming over soon, and I can play with her.’

‘That’s good.’

Del rubs against her father. ‘Daddy, will, um, this make her my mommy?’

James takes a deep breath and thinks. ‘It doesn’t work like that exactly. It is sort of like how Rei’s legal mommy is Fluttershy or how Rei and Chrysalis are both your big sister.’

‘Oh... Okay.’

‘Would you want her as your mommy?’

‘I guess. I mean... It might be nice.’

James kisses his daughter on the forehead. ‘We can talk to her about it. I’m sure it will work out.’

Del giggles and watches her father leave. He exits the building through the main shop. Lucas rests at the counter while Mimi is out.

‘You two have the store?’ James asks.

‘We got it. You have fun with your fillyfriend.’ Lucas smiles. ‘Though I get the feeling she won’t be for much longer.’

‘I-it had to be special. S-sh-she has to be treated like a princess.’

Lucas shakes his head. ‘You just had to ask, Boss. It was that simple with Mimi. It would have been that simple for you.’

‘But I have to show off for her somehow.’

‘You two will literally live in happiness together forever. You’re overthinking it.’

‘I guess...’

‘Speaking of which, what is going to happen? Is she moving in with you? You going to the library? Both of you requisitioning a castle somewhere and starting a nerd-topia?’

‘Ooo. That last one sounds fun, but no. We’re still figuring that out.’

‘Wait. What?’

James smiles and trots out of the shop. ‘A lot more was said and done than just playing video games during Trixie’s illusion.’

The stallion heads across the street to Neighponese Imports. When Daring sees the stallion enter she quickly heads to the back room.

‘Konichiwa, otoosan!’ Rei greets.

‘Hey, Rei. Where’d Daring go?’

The pegasus shrugs. ‘Don’t know. Probably jealous that I will have three mommies by the end of the night.’

‘She hasn’t said “yes” yet...’

‘PFFT! That is just a stupid word to an obvious question. If I didn’t know better I would have thought you were married since before October twenty-third, two years ago.’

‘And from my standpoint, the way you talked, it only took sixty years for you to get off your plot and ask her,’ Daring adds, trotting in with a large box on her back. ‘Had to get my gift for the birthday mare. Thought she’d appreciate some signed first editions complete with author’s notes.’

James stares in shock at the box he will be forced to carry.

Daring rounds the counter and heads back to work, stopping only to kiss the stallion on the cheek. ‘Tell the wife I send my love.’

Twilight brushes her mane in her parents home in Canterlot. Her coat is clean and shiny and her wings are perfectly preened. Her father trots into the room and smiles at his daughter.

‘You know, you don’t have to stay with us every time you visit,’ Night Light says. ‘You can always stay at the palace, your highness.’

‘Dad, quit it,’ Twilight chides. ‘I don’t mind staying here.’

‘I know, but all of your business is usually at the palace. Not to mention your party tonight.’

‘But I like staying with you and mom. It is not like I have my own place in town.’

‘M-maybe you should. That way you and James could have some place private for your family.’

Twilight spins around and stares at her father in shock. Night Light looks away in embarrassment and coughs.

‘There are at least two things unusual about what you said,’ the princess infers. ‘One, you never refer to James by his name. Two, you seem to imply we are a family.’

The stallion coughs again. ‘I am not opposed to the two of you being together. I mean, it is not like I don’t expect to give you away to him or anything...’

Twilight tackles her father in a big hug. ‘Thank you, daddy! That makes me so happy to hear you say that.’ She lets her father free. ‘He just has to ask me first...’

Night Light smiles and laughs. ‘I am certain he will. He’ll have me to deal with if he breaks your heart.’ He looks at his daughter. ‘Although, I do have a small concern.’

‘What is it?’

‘It is the same one your mother and I have for your brother’s marriage. Given the longevity of your tribe, you are going to outl-’

‘Oh! That’s okay.’ Twilight giggles. ‘He’s a near immortal alien. He’s already three hundred years old, which is still considered a child for his race.’

Night Light stares in shock. ‘An alien?’ He takes a long, slow breath. ‘Well, that begins to explain his daughters.’

‘Oh. They’re not aliens.’

‘That a reli-’

‘Rei is the daughter of James and Luna from another universe, and Del is a changeling and the adopted princess to Queen Chrysalis.’

‘Another... universe... and a... changeling?’ Night Light takes another long, slow breath. He trots over and kisses his daughter on the forehead. ‘When you are ready to leave, I’ll be in my study with a empty bottle of scotch.’

‘Why an empty one?’

‘It will be full when I get there.’

The stallion lets out a loud moan as he trots from the room.

Twilight Velvet watches her husband pass as she enters her daughter’s room. ‘I take it you told him about your future family.’

James sits in the kitchen of a dining car and watches the chef at work. Stormy calmly operates all the stoves and ovens at once.

‘Not often a pony books his ticket in the dining car,’ James comments.

‘You wanted something special for your wife,’ Stormy counters. ‘I needed time to make it. Easiest way was getting this car.’

‘She’s not my...’

‘Just had to tell them I am the son of Blackberry Sorbet, and he was willing to cover the bill. Just promise not to name the first kid after me. It is still weird having my mom’s friends call you “Strawberry” too.’

‘Well, um, I haven’t... I mean, we aren’t... Not yet anyway...’

Stormy sits beside his mentor. ‘Mr Wanderer, if you have taught me anything, it is that you overthink everything. Both of you. I bet you don’t even have a plan for the honeymoon.’

‘Two thoughts. One, there is a moon that is literally made of honey. Two, there is a moon that is literally on a honeymoon with an asteroid.’

The young stallion sighs. ‘Still overthinking everything. You have a frakking time machine. The entire universe is your playground. I know it is probably not my place, but why don’t you two take some time to yourselves?’

‘That might be nice.’

‘Is Spike going to live with you? Or what is going to happen? Does he get his own room at the shop?’

‘What if I move to the library?’

Stormy shakes his head. ‘You’re not moving to the library. You want to keep an eye on Daring, not to mention you are a quick trot from Sugarcube Corner and equally far from Fluttershy’s cottage and Sweet Apple Acres.’

James stares at a stove for several seconds. ‘What if I move to the library?’

‘And how hard would it have been for you to Portal or TARDIS to Canterlot instead of taking the long train ride?’

James stares at a stove for several seconds. ‘What if I move to the library?’

Stormy laughs and gets back to work.

Spike rides Twilight as she trots through Canterlot Castle. Pinkie has claimed a section of the palace to set up for Twilight’s party. The princess smiles as she trots past the guards surrounding the future site of the party on her way to picking up a new dress from Rarity. A sky blue unicorn and light red earth pony colt try to sneak past the guards as Twilight passes.

Spike is deep in thought. ‘Twilight, I’ve been wondering something. Am I still going to live with you after..?’

Twilight giggles. ‘I would still need my number one assistant.’

‘But you would have Rei and Del and...’

‘And they have their own destinies. As do you. If James and I end up travelling around the universe for five hundred years, I am sure everything back home will work out.’

‘You would just’ -- the dragon chokes back a tear -- ‘leave me?’

‘I would never abandon you!’ Twilight gasps. ‘I’m just saying that if something happened, you would have a much larger family to rely upon besides just me.’

Spike moans and hugs Twilight’s neck. They enter a room.

‘Spike, before I was made a princess, I was just a normal unicorn. You were going to outlive me by dozens of lifetimes. There would have been a time when you had to carry on without me. If there comes a time where you have to be on your own, James and I and everypony else will support you as best we can.’

Spike is levitated from Twilight’s back. Rarity rubs her cheek against the dragon's.

‘Is my lovely Spikey wikey worried about Twilight growing up?’ the unicorn coos. ‘Growing up and finding a wonderful stallion before me. Planning on abandoning me (and the rest of her friends) alone and loveless.’

Spike whimpers and grabs Rarity for comfort.

Twilight facehoofs. ‘I was just convincing him that everything would be okay.’

‘Well, of course everything is going to be okay.’ Rarity comforts Spike. ‘We would never let anything bad happen to you.’

‘But what if Twilight leaves me?’

‘Well, I haven’t given it much thought, but I would love another assistant at my shop.’

‘You... would really have me, Rarity?’

‘Why of course! I’ve seen how well you care for Twilight. I wouldn’t mind your service one single bit.’ She looks around hastily. ‘It would only be until Twilight returns, of course.’

Twilight rolls her eyes then wraps Spike in a hug. ‘I think if the time ever did come, you should be allowed to pick the path you want, and I would be proud and supportive of you no matter what.’

‘Thanks, Twilight. Thanks, Rarity. I am certain I’ll be dragon enough to live up your expectations.’

‘I know you will,’ Rarity agrees. She turns to her friend. ‘Now! Let’s get you dressed. Are you going to be wearing your regalia up or down tonight?’

‘Actually, I was going to not wear it at all,’ Twilight replies.

Rarity swoons and faints. The others groan and fan the unicorn.

‘Spike, if I ever leave, you have to take care of her.’

Spike blushes, laughs and nods in agreement.

James trots through the palace grounds. The burden of Daring’s huge gift has been relieved by a companion. Discord carries the box as they walk together.

‘Thanks for the help,’ James says. ‘I think Daring was out to break my back with that gift.’

‘What better reason to have you trapped in bed with no entertainment,’ Discord laughs. ‘She just has to sneak in when her boss lets her in.’

James shakes his head. ‘I really need to stop Rei from doing that.’

‘Oh, once you and the wife are together, I am sure she’ll ease up’ -- he grins evilly -- ‘or join in the fun.’

‘Yeah,’ the stallion groans. ‘Twilight will love that.’

‘Well, I admit she is no Pinkie Pie or Luna, but she does have her charms.’ Discord laughs to himself. ‘You and I both know that yellow pegasi can be quite fun.’

‘Okay! One, I never want to compare Fluttershy and Daring in that way again. And two, why the hell are we talking my sex life?’

The draconequus shrugs. ‘Isn’t that what scientists do? Brag about what we can?’ He smirks. ‘Though, you seemed to imply something about Daring and yourself.’

James growls. ‘She is just a neighbor. Your birthday present to me should have told you that.’

‘And Applejack is just a neighbor too.’

‘Was she your neighbor too?’

Discord takes a deep breath. ‘I had never thought of her that way when I was you. It was always just me, Twilight, Pinkie and Luna.’ He smiles. ‘I teased Octavia almost as well as you do, but... But, we never saw each other in that way.’ He sighs and looks away. ‘She... She and I...’ He looks down at his alternate universe, pre-regeneration self. ‘She is going to play the wedding, right?’

‘Twilight and I have talked about it. Vinyl played the last royal wedding, and Octy does owe me a few favors.’

Discord balances the box on his tail and crosses his arms. ‘Luna was going to officiate for us. I assume Celestia will want to do the job for you.’ He grins. ‘Though the last wedding she spoke at was interrupted by the real bride.’

‘I am more concerned with possible extraterrestrial interventions.’

‘Have no fear. I will keep an extra eye out for them.’ Discord poses dramatically. He instantly scowls. ‘We have unfinished business together.’

‘No genocide,’ James warns.

‘Right. You claimed that right already.’

‘I did no such thing,’ The Angry Physicist growls.

Discord chuckles to himself. ‘Anyway, I’ll place this with other presents. Just don’t forget me when sending out the invitations.’

‘Are you kidding? You’re coming no matter what.’

‘Excellent! I can’t wait to go to a wedding where I’m not killed or locked in the garden the whole time.’

‘Yeah. I heard you were pretty stoned that last time.’

Discord snorts at his friend. James laughs and gallops off to meet up with the others.

Twilight trots into the throne room. Princesses Celestia and Luna wait by the throne. The younger princess bows to the older ones.

‘You wanted to see me, princesses?’ Twilight asks.

‘We have, Twilight Sparkle,’ Celestia replies. ‘We would like to talk to you about your royal duties.’

The young princess pales. ‘Am I doing a bad job? I’m sorry! I can do better!’

Celestia shakes her head. ‘No, no. You have been performing quite admirably. We have just decided to expand your role and add one more responsibility. Consider it an early birthday present.’

Twilight beams brightly. ‘My body is ready.’

Luna rolls her eyes. ‘Told you they were perfect for the job.’

Celestia laughs and clears her throat. ‘Princess Twilight Sparkle, with the power vested in me as co-ruler of Equestria, I hereby appoint you the Official Royal Ambassador for Equestria.’

Luna applauds beside her sister.

‘Ambassador to what exactly?’ Twilight asks incredulously.

‘With your impending marriage,’ Luna begins.

‘He hasn’t...’

‘We determined that you will be our official ambassador to wherever the two of you end up in your travels.’

Celestia sighs. ‘Off-world celebrations are always so entertaining. Do pick me up if you two go to one.’

‘But, James and I... I mean, he hasn’t... We aren’t...’

‘You have been on far more trips with him than either of us,’ Luna says. ‘Even if, for some unforeseeable reason, he does not make your dreams come true, you are still the most likely to be in his travelling party.’ She glances away. ‘Not that we are jealous or anything.’

‘Is that the royal we...?’

‘So! Twilight Sparkle, how do you feel about your new position?’

‘We do look forward to your highly detailed accounts of your travels,’ Celestia adds.

‘But, princesses, are you sure you want to trust me with this? You are making assumptions about our relationship that I am not comfortable with.’

Celestia sighs and shakes her head. ‘Twilight Sparkle. When will you learn to trust in your destiny and that..?’

‘Did James take you to the future and show you my entire timeline?’

The princesses gasp in unison.

‘He would never dare cross his own timeline!’ Luna states.

‘That would be very irresponsible of me I did that,’ Celestia gapes. ‘These are all events that have been foretold for...’

‘The Doctor told you. Didn’t he?’

The sisters clam up and look away.

Twilight’s groan echoes off the walls, and she storms away. ‘What is wrong with those ponies?’

‘They’re aliens!’ Celestia calls.

‘I meant you, too! I'm over a thousand years younger than you, but you're the children.’

The older princesses look ashamed as the young princess slams the throne room doors behind her.

‘You started it,’ Celestia mumbles.

‘Nu-uh!’ Luna shouts, ‘Twilight! She's picking on me!’

‘Act your age!’ is shouted back.

Pinkie gallops around a ballroom as she sets up her friend’s party. Applejack trots out of a kitchen with a tray on her head. James stares at the treats as they are placed behind a pair of Lunar Guards.

‘Damn you and your coltfriend,’ James curses.

‘If y’all didn’ try eatin’ everythin’ befer the party, Ah wouldn’ need them.’

‘That’s why Stormy and I always let him have one before we start,’ Pinkie says, tossing a cupcake to the stallion. ‘Just a little taste to keep him coming back and not duck out early.’

‘HMPF!’ Applejack snorts. ‘Ah ain’t never had that problem gettin’ ‘im t’ stick around with mah cookin’.’

James groans, tossing the cupcake wrapper over his shoulder. ‘Why do I feel like I had this conversation with Discord earlier tonight?’

The mares turn their attention to the stallion. An older, pale yellow mare grumbles to herself as she picks up the wrapper.

‘Y’all saw Discord earlier?’

‘Is he coming to the party? Do I have to make extra? Why doesn’t anypony tell me these things!’

‘And what was that about yer conversation?’

James purses his lips and looks away. ‘I didn’t say anything.’

‘Probably talking about how much you wave your tail in front of him even though he is dating Twilight and you are supposedly dating Sunshine,’ Pinkie accuses.

The bat ponies guarding the treats whisper to amongst themselves.

Applejack blushes. ‘Well, uh, that’s... What about y’all? Yer always gettin’ between them t’.’

Pinkie turns her nose up. ‘Hmpf! It is okay. Besides, I’m holding out for the Twinkie ending.’

‘The what?’

‘I don’t even think TwiJack would even work.’

Applejack turns to James. ‘Can ya tell me what she’s talkin’ ‘bout?’

The stallion leans in and whispers the the mare. She gets redder and redder as he continues. She pulls away quickly.

James shrugs. ‘Though, I personally think that AppleDash is way overplayed.’

Applejack shoves her hat over the stallion’s muzzle. ‘Shut up!’

The bat ponies laugh at the conversation. The mare turns and snorts at them, getting them to instantly snap to attention.

‘Still, I believe a good point was raised,’ James says, removing the hat. ‘I love the apple blossom you use for your mane.’

Applejack snatchs her hat back and covers her face. The Lunar Guards openly laugh.

‘That better not have been it,’ the embarrassed mare snarls.

‘No, but it is true.’ James sighs. ‘I wouldn’t want to upset Twilight if she didn’t think I was going to take marriage seriously.’

Pinkie salutes. ‘Got ya! No nookie if she is around unless she joins in to!’

‘Actually, I mean none at all.’ He turns to Applejack. ‘None.’

Applejack motions a Pinkie Promise. ‘Ah swear that Ah’ll not mess with yer marriage. ‘Sides, Ah don’ wanna hurt Sunshine.’

Pinkie glares at her friend. ‘I promise too. I’ll even stop trying to cuddle Twilight without her permission. Do you think we should ask Flutters too?’

‘We’ve already talked about it,’ James replies. His expression to Applejack intensifies. ‘Are you sure you can control yourself? We haven’t had the best record when you are...’

‘Ah’ll do mah part! This is the biggest promise Ah’ll ever make!’

James puts a leg around Pinkie’s shoulders. ‘We’ll hold you to it.’

Pinkie nods and snorts. A thought occurs. She turns to James. ‘Wait. Does mean you are going to..?’

The stallion smiles and winks.

‘OH MY..!’ The mare starts bouncing around the room. She stops in front of James. ‘Can I see the ring? Is it made of space material?’

James smiles and sits, waiting for the party to start.

Worried moans come from a dressing room. Twilight stands in front of a mirror applying makeup. She groans, wipes her face and starts reapplying it. Fluttershy hears the grumbling and looks in. She sees her friend, enters and immediately wipes Twilight’s face. The princess yells.

‘You and I both know that he prefers our natural beauty to shine,’ the older pony scolds.

‘Right. Thanks for reminding me,’ Twilight sighs.

Fluttershy finishes cleaning her friend and smiles. ‘You look great. Do you think..?’

‘Maybe. I don’t know.’ She looks away and blushes. ‘We have begun preparing for when he does.’

The pegasus does not know how to react. She settles for a happy squeal and hugging her friend. ‘That is great to hear.’ She backs away and smiles at her friend. ‘If you ever need advice on what it is like being his wife...’

‘Thanks. I wouldn’t mind some pointers and your waffle recipe, Mrs Wanderer.’

‘Of course.’ Fluttershy giggles and hugs Twilight again. Her grip becomes progressively tighter. ‘One of your future tasks will be taking care of Rei. She and James allowed me to be her legal guardian. If you do anything to hurt her, I don’t care if you are a princess or a master of magic, you won’t find a safe place to hide.’

Twilight breaks free and shakes her head. ‘I know Rei is your daughter. I won’t get between the two of you. I am quite happy that she has such a good role model as you. I would never want her to lose the pony she considers to be her mother.’

Fluttershy blushes. ‘I think New Fluttershy is still overprotective of her family. Sorry.’

‘It is perfectly fine.’ Twilight hugs her friend. ‘Come on. We have a party to get to.’

The friends trot to the door together. They smirk and lean in close. Twilight kicks a wall. There is a scream and a rainbow streak passes the doorway. They giggle at their eavesdropping friend.

Twilight has a blast at her party. She plays games with her friends and snacks on all the delicious treats. After playing, dancing and snacking, the birthday mare is taking a break to open her presents before returning to the festivities. She looks through the books Daring gave her before looking around.

‘That looks like all of them,’ the princess comments.

A throat is cleared. ‘Not all of them,’ James says.

Twilight’s heart skips several beats as the stallion steps forward. All of her friends try to contain their excitement. Celestia and Luna smile at the younger princess. Night Light hugs his wife to calm his nerves. Shining Armor can barely contain his liquid pride.

‘I’ve been looking for the right moment to ask this. It is something I have been meaning to ask for a while now. I’ve just been too scared. I’m sorry for waiting so long.’ James bows down and holds up a small purple box with a shining, horn-sized ring inside. ‘Twilight Sparkle, will you marry me?’

Author's Note

Spoiler: Twilight says,
'YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES'

[bonus art made by Ask Corn Silk and Sugar Craze] (artist here)

Chapter idea inspired by sfs

For Another Perspective on this chapter, check this out.

RSI and the Mystery of Musical Expressionism

Main Characters: RSI, CMC, Rainbow Dash, Gilda
Cameos: Chrysalis/Full Moon, Fleur, We Flight Griffins
Original Start Date: May 12, 2013

Rainbow Dash steps off a train and stretches her legs and wings. She yawns as she takes in the platform. Ponies of all tribes trot past. Even several non-pony species trot past.

‘Boring!’ the pegasus comments. ‘This place ain’t got nothing on Manehattan. Best. City. Ever.’

‘Were you just talking about Haydo?’ Rei asks, exiting the train.

Stormy and Inkie follow their friend. Behind them, the Cutie Mark Crusaders gawk, taking everything in.

‘Uh, no,’ Rainbow snorts. ‘Manehattan is the coolest city ever. I should know. I’m from there.’

‘Coolest city? Manehattan? Haydo all the way,’ Rei argues.

‘Ya kidding? We have everything! Big parks, big monuments, great shopping. Everything.’

‘We have all of that in Akihabara alone. Haydo is way better. You’ve been there. You should know.’

The pegasi growl and continue arguing. Stormy and Inkie roll their eyes and watch the foals. It is their first time in Los Arion, and they marvel to see more ponies in the train station than live in their hometown.

‘Pretty neat, huh?’ Stormy asks. ‘It is been about a year since we were here last, right, Inkie?’

‘Not unless you count stopping on our way to and from Neighpon,’ his friend replies.

‘See! We got airships to LA!’ Rei shouts, pointing towards her friend.

‘We got them too! They even get here faster!’ Rainbow shouts back.

Stormy groans. ‘Once we get to the hotel, they should settle down.’ He scans the group. ‘Where’s Sweetie Belle?’

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo snap out of their stupor. They look around and shrug.

Stormy sighs. ‘Get our bags and meet me in the main terminal. I’ll get Sweetie, then we can go meet Apple Bloom’s cousin.’

Inkie nods and starts herding everypony together. Stormy trots off into the train station. He uses his height to try to spot Sweetie Belle. He makes his way past many platforms before he spots her watching a train arriving from the Crystal Empire.

Stormy taps Sweetie on the back. ‘Come on. We have to meet your friend and get to our hotel.’

‘But I want to see the crystal ponies,’ the filly whines.

‘They probably won’t be crystal this far from the empire. They’ll look like regular earth ponies.’

‘They were crystal at Twilight’s coronation.’

The young stallion shakes his head. ‘You don’t want to miss spending time with your friends, do you?’

‘But Stormy, I want to see the...’

Sweetie stops when she notices something. She trots away, her gaze fixed and mouth slightly ajar. She stares up at a tall, black horse with leathery wings. The thestral checks her mobile before putting it back in a saddlebag. She notices the small unicorn.

‘Yes?’

‘Are you a thestral?’ Sweetie asks.

The thestral sighs. ‘Yes... I’m here on business, and no, I don’t eat flesh. That is just a myth.’

‘Sorry about her,’ Stormy apologizes, levitating Sweetie to his back. ‘This is her first time in LA, and she is a little overwhelmed by everything.’

The thestral smiles. ‘I understand. The city can be impressive if you are not used to it.’ She digs in her saddlebag and brings out a flower. ‘I represent some growers trying to expand our business to sellers in LA. Here is a free sample for the lovely filly.’

The thestral places the flower in Sweetie’s mane. The filly blushes and mumbles thanks. The thestral laughs and goes about her business. Stormy trots back to the main terminal. His group is waiting for them. Rei and Rainbow’s argument has devolved to hovering over Inkie and making faces at each other. Stormy levitates Sweetie to the ground. He exchanges looks with Inkie. The teens sigh and begin looking for the Manehattan platform.

Across the city, an airship is landing at the airport. A tall white unicorn waits in a carriage and fiddles with her mobile while the ship lands. A red pegasus in royal guard armor stands by the carriage. Once the airship has landed, a white pegasus wearing a simple cape quickly exits and darts towards the carriage. The guard opens the door and follows her in. The unicorn taps on the floor and the carriage starts moving.

‘I have arranged for your luggage to be taken straight to our suite,’ Fleur says, putting away her mobile. ‘Did you have a nice trip?’

‘Hard maintaining secrecy on this one,’ Full Moon replies. ‘It is nice having a low profile for once.’

‘It is not what you experienced last time in terms of pomp, but the Philharmonica School for the Performing Arts is handling all your security. You are more safe than during your last visit, Chrysalis.’

Chrysalis drops her disguise. ‘I noticed. Though only one royal guard this time?’ She looks at the guard. ‘You can drop the disguise when we are in private, too.’

The pegasus changes to a changeling with a dark red chitin. ‘Yes, my queen.’

‘Got him special from Shining Armor’s personal unit,’ Fleur says. ‘I figured you would like the personalized service.’

‘It will do.’ Chrysalis leans back. ‘So, what is this event you have recruited me for?’

‘Since we moved all our former organization’s operations to the school, we have been low on talent. Several of our former members have begun their own local vigilante work with our backing, but that leaves the core with fewer operatives in the field. Octavia and Silver do what they can, and we are speeding up the training of current recruits.’

Chrysalis yawns.

Fleur takes a deep breath. ‘With the new shift in our cover strategy, we are focusing our recruitment efforts on singers, actors, models and artists. Ones with grace in the public spotlight and behind a blade.’

‘Sorry. I’m a queen. Not interested.’

‘Which is why we invited you to help judge this music competition. Your keen eye as a changeling and your skill as a singer would be a great help finding potential recruits.’

Chrysalis scratches her ear. ‘Sounds fine, I guess. At least I get a vacation and get to sneak into Equestria again.’ She grins. ‘Just imagine Celestia’s face when she finds out I am here.’

Fleur huffs. ‘This is serious business. We are talking about defending the world here.’

‘Right. Saving the world with music. Like that would ever happen.’

Fleur shakes her head and gets out her mobile again as they ride through town.

After dinner, Rei’s group rests in their suite before their big day. Stormy and Inkie try to watch television while Rei and Rainbow Dash keep bickering. The Cutie Mark Crusaders stand at windows and marvel at the city below them. Babs Seed watches her friends and laughs.

‘This is amazin’,’ Apple Bloom gawks. ‘Ah ain’t never seen nothin’ like it.’

‘Ya should visit me for a change,’ Babs replies. ‘Ya can see the whole city from my sis’ apartment.’

‘That mus’ be the best.’

Babs shrugs. ‘Ya get used to it.’

‘This must be what Cloudsdale is like,’ Scootaloo sighs.

‘Not quite, squirt,’ Dash laughs. ‘First of all, the ground is a lot further away than twenty stories up.’

‘You have to take me some day.’

‘I promise.’

‘Meh!’ Rei snorts. ‘No city can ever compare to Haydo. Where else can you find takoyaki in a vending machine at four in the morning?’

‘And throw up vending machine takoyaki at five in the morning,’ Stormy groans.

‘Totally worth it,’ the pegasus retorts.

‘So yer from Heydo, Miss Rei?’ Babs asks.

‘I grew up in Haydo, but I was born in Canterlot.’

‘Why’d yer family go to Haydo?’

Rei frowns. ‘It was just me... I didn’t have a family until I came to Ponyville...’

Dash sighs. ‘I know what you mean. Before my mom and I moved to Cloudsdale, it was just us in a tiny room. Then I got the most loving dad and went to the coolest flight schools and met Shy. It was awesome.’

‘Where were you from before, Rainbow Dash?’ Scootaloo asks.

The older pegasus smiles. ‘I was from Manehattan.’

Babs’ eyes go wide. ‘No way! What part?’

Dash looks away. ‘I... don’t really know. I was a lot younger than all of you when we moved.’ She thinks. ‘Ya know. I don’t even remember the trip. It should have taken days, but it feels like it was over in an instant.’

‘Maybe my daddy took you in his ship,’ Rei guesses.

The older pegasus laughs. ‘Your father has better things to do than look after me when I was a filly.’

Rei blinks then looks away without saying anything. There is a ‘thunk’ from the window. Sweetie yawns as she pushes back from the glass.

‘I’m fine,’ the filly yawns.

‘She has a point,’ Dash says. ‘We’ve had a long day, and you should get some rest before your big day tomorrow.’ She looks around. ‘So, uh. How do we do this?’

‘Four rooms. Two to a room,’ Stormy replies, standing.

‘Ooo! I want to sleep with Stormy!’ Sweetie cheers.

‘Please don’t say it like that,’ the young stallion groans as he trots to a room with his little sister latched around his neck.

‘Me and Inkie will stay together,’ Rei says. ‘We are almost, barely, practically, sorta pre-engaged.’

Inkie giggles and follows Rei to a room.

Babs turns to Apple Bloom. ‘What d’ ya say cuz?’

Apple Bloom back away from the window. ‘Uh, duh? Ya are mah favorite cousin, after all.’

The cousins laugh as they go to a room.

‘Guess that leaves you and me, Rainbow Dash.’ Scootaloo smiles from a doorway.

‘Heck, yeah. I get the coolest roommate.’ Dash ruffles Scootaloo’s mane. ‘Plus, I sorta promised your mom I’d look after ya.’

Rainbow Dash hits a light switch and closes the door to their room.

Fleur trots into a bedroom levitating her mobile in front of her. ‘Chrysalis, are you almost ready? It is nearly time to go.’

A loud snore comes from the bed. The unicorn sighs at the queen of the changelings splayed out on the bed before her. The guard stops Fleur at the door.

‘The queen requires her sleep in order to adapt to the different time zone.’

‘Well, we were going to get Ponybucks. My treat, of course, since she is our special guest. But I guess sleep is somehow more important.’

The guard looks back. ‘She was insistent.’ His stomach growls. ‘Quite insistent.’

‘Fine. You can join me. I was going to get food for you as well. She can find her own way to the convention center.’

Fleur turns to leave, but she is caught in a green aura. She is dragged to the bed. Chrysalis lifts one of the unicorn’s hooves and licks it.

‘Mmm. That’s the stuff,’ Chrysalis moans, standing. She transforms into Full Moon. ‘Just needed something charge my batteries.’ She licks her lips. ‘And judging by the potency, you must like him a lot.’

Fleur turns bright red. ‘That is none of your business!’

Full Moon laughs and licks her lips again. ‘So, somepony mentioned Ponybucks?’

RSI and the CMC are gathered in a large hall. The groups are in line to register for an event. Rainbow Dash keeps the fillies in line as they marvel at the different tribes and beings around them. Both groups are in the same line despite there being two sections, one for foals, the other for adults.

Stormy sighs and sips a cup of coffee. ‘I take it our fearless leader has some sort of plan, given that we’re in the wrong line.’

Rei laughs. ‘Trust me, Stormy-kun. Auntie Rei-chan has it all taken care of.’

The stallion drinks his coffee. ‘Why do I get a bad feeling about this?’

Over at the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rainbow Dash drags Sweetie back before the filly can follow a group of deer away. Scootaloo flits around her friends as she watches the crowd.

‘I’m not so sure of this, cuz,’ Babs worries. ‘I ain’t that good at singin’, ya know?’

‘Don’ worry,’ Apple Bloom assures. ‘We got Sweetie Belle on our side. She’s an amazin’ singer. We’ll do fine.’

‘Me?’ Sweetie squeaks. ‘But I don’t like singing in front of large crowds...’

‘Don’ worry. It’ll be dark so ya can’ see everypony watchin’ ya. We’ll be there fer support too.’

Dash pats Sweetie on the back. ‘Yeah. I’m here for you, too. I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Rarity’s little sis.’

Sweetie moans and kicks the ground. Rei leads her friends to the registration desk. The unicorn receptionist sighs when she sees the group.

‘Aren’t you a little old for the foal’s competition?’

‘The rules say that if the lead singer is a foal, you can enter the foal’s competition,’ Rei replies with a smile. ‘I’m the lead singer.’

‘Really? You don’t seem to be young enough...’

Rei starts tearing up. ‘B-b-but, I am young enough.’ She grabs Stormy around the neck. ‘Stormy! She’s being mean to me!’

Stormy groans and pets his friend’s head. Inkie covers a giggle.

The receptionist sighs. ‘Let me take your information.’

Dash laughs as her friends sign up for the competition. She looks around and starts watching the other line. Another group catches her eye.

‘Scoots, make sure everypony stays here,’ the older pegasus says.

Scootaloo nods as her mentor leaves the line. Dash crosses the hall right as the group leaves the registration counter.

‘Right, now that we’re signed up, head back to the hotel and get our instruments,’ a black-feathered griffin says with an Eaglish accent. ‘It’ll be a couple hours until showtime, but there is no problem getting ready blow their feathers off early.’

‘Right,’ the rest of the group agrees.

‘Gilda?’ Dash asks.

One of the griffins turns around. She instantly groans and rolls her eyes.

‘What do you want, Rainbow Dash?’ Gilda snorts. ‘Come to humiliate me again?’

‘What? No. I’m here with some friends.’ She nods back at the group.

Sweetie is yelling at Rei for hanging off of Stormy. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo sign the CMC up for the competition. Inkie and Babs sigh and watch their friends.

‘So you’ve moved up from dweeb to foalsitter,’ Gilda scoffs.

‘Don’t be like that, G,’ Dash moans. She smiles. ‘I didn’t know you were here. I hope we can catch up. I can’t wait to see you play. I remember you playing your guitar and singing back at flight school.’

‘You used to play?’ the black griffin asks. He looks at Dash. ‘We know she can sing since she’s lead vocals.’

Gilda blushes. ‘Well, uh...’

‘Hell, yeah! She can play!’ Dash cheers. ‘We used stay up all night singing Eagles songs together.’

‘What? No!’ Gilda dodges. ‘I wasn’t into...’

‘Sweet,’ the black griffin replies. ‘I got into music because of them.’ He laughs and looks at Gilda. ‘Ya shoulda said something earlier. We knew you were cool, but we didn’t know we had the same taste in music.’

Gilda is surprised. ‘You don’t think they’re lame?’

‘I’m a huge fan of Wings,’ a red-feathered griffin says.

‘I learned drums from Rock Band,’ a tan-feathered griffin adds.

‘Dudes..!’ Gilda is shocked.

‘You don’t play drums for the band, Toki,’ the black griffin argues.

‘Well, no,’ Toki hems, ‘but I learned how to play them that way.’ He mimes playing drums. ‘Red, red, yellow, green, red, blue. See how easy that is?’

‘That’s not how drums work,’ the red griffin moans.

‘Right. And amps really go up to eleven.’

The griffins start squabbling.

‘Guys! Focus!’ Gilda snaps.

‘Right! We have to get our gear,’ the red griffin remembers.

The group turns to leave. Gilda sighs and follows.

‘Wait!’ Dash calls. ‘What is your band name? I will totally cheer my lungs out for you.’

The group stops and looks back.

The black griffin turns to Dash. ‘We’re We Flight Griffins,’ he introduces.

Gilda facetalons and mumbles to herself, ‘We so need a better name.’

‘I’m St Hubbins,’ St Hubbins continues. He points to the red griffin. ‘There’s Nigel’ -- he points to the tan griffin -- ‘and Toki.’

‘Hello,’ Toki greets.

‘Hi!’ Rei replies from beside Dash. She looks down. ‘We’re all signed up. Ready for lunch?’

Dash looks up and nods. She turns the the band. ‘I can’t wait to see you rock. I bet you kick a lot of flank.’

The band throws the horns before leaving to get their gear.

Rei waves. ‘They seemed nice. … Time for food!’

Dash laughs, and the pegasi rejoin their friends.

After lunch, RSI and CMC wait backstage for their turn to perform. The four fillies try to get over their stage fright. Stormy sighs as he flashes his badge showing he is in the right competition to the current round of organizers. Rei stands by curtain watching the show.

Inkie taps her fillyfriend on the shoulder. ‘Okay. I don’t get it. Why are we in the foals competition? You normally hate being judged by your size.’

Rei grins. ‘How many songs have we written?’

‘None.’

‘Exactly.’

‘I still don’t get it.’

Stormy sighs. ‘In the foal’s competition, they don’t need to sing original songs.’

Rei cackles.

Inkie facehoofs. ‘So you plan on cheating?’ She groans, ‘This is the mare I love, everypony.’

‘It gets better,’ Rei adds. ‘I spotted who the judges are. I hope you all brushed up on your Full Moon.’

‘The girls shoulda brought Del...’ Stormy sighs.

‘Well, that would have been cheating,’ Rei argues.

Inkie facehoofs.

‘Really?’ Stormy replies.

‘I mean, she is as good a singer as her sister. Who do you think I practiced with?’

The stallion smirks. ‘I hear you and Inkie make great music together.’

‘PERVERT!’ Inkie shouts, slapping her friend.

‘Worth it,’ Stormy cackles as he rubs his sore jaw.

An organizer trots past. ‘RSI, you’re up next. Just tell the judge when you’re ready for your music.’

Rei nods enthusiastically. Inkie glares at Stormy as she takes her place beside her fillyfriend. The foals on stage finish their song and trot backstage. A couple of them look shaken at having to perform in public. The organizer nods. Rei leads her friends onstage. The concert hall is half-empty, with mostly parents waiting to see their foals perform.

‘Minna-san suki da!’ Rei blows a kiss.

‘Rei?!’ Fleur exclaims.

The pegasus smiles and waves at the judges. ‘Konnichiwa Full Moon-san, Fleur-san!’

‘You’re disqualified,’ the unicorn sighs.

‘What! That is is absurd!’ Full Moon exclaims.

‘You and I both know she is too old to take part in the the foal’s competition.’ Fleur turns back to the stage. ‘You don’t have any songs of your own, do you?’

Rei sways cutely. ‘Well... My real name is Full Moon so technically I have five albums last time I checked.’

The unicorn facehoofs. ‘Get off the stage, Rei.’

‘Boo! Discrimination against Full Moons!’ Full Moon jeers.

Rei sighs and trots back. ‘Well, I tried.’

Inkie follows her friend. Stormy turns and is about to trot away.

‘Stormy, wait,’ Fleur calls. ‘See me after the show. I have a proposal.’

The stallion sighs. ‘I have a fillyfriend.’

‘It is not that. I just want to ask you something related to the wardrobe department.’

Full Moon snickers, exposing her fangs. ‘Like how to get out of your wardrobe?’

Stormy glares at the idol. ‘Don’t you have a Celestia to pester?’

The pegasus keeps giggling. Stormy sighs and continues backstage. The Cutie Mark Crusaders take the stage. Scootaloo stands in front, flanked by Apple Bloom and Babs. Sweetie tries hiding in the back.

Fleur smiles. ‘Whenever you’re ready, sweeties.’

Scootaloo turns to the others and gets nods. The fillies take their mics. Music starts playing behind them.

‘Look, here, are three, er, four little ponies,’ Scootaloo starts with Sweetie Belle harmonizing.

♪

Ready to sing for this crowd,

Listen up, 'cause here's our story.

I'm gonna sing it.

♫

All the fillies join. ‘Very loud!!!!!!!’

‘STOP!’ Full Moon shouts. ‘You are worse than a changeling getting his throat scratched out by one of those delicious cat things.’ She looks around nervously. ‘Not that I know what that is like.’

Fleur looks at the sad fillies curiously. ‘Before you go, can you each sing for me? Just the first line of your song is enough.’

Scootaloo smiles and takes her mic.

‘Not you,’ the unicorn interrupts. She smiles at Apple Bloom. ‘Go ahead.’

Apple Bloom clears her throat. ‘Look, here, are four little ponies.’

‘Next.’

Babs takes the mic. ‘Look, here, are four little ponies.’

‘Next.’

Sweetie looks down as she goes forward, embarrassed to be seen. She looks offstage. Stormy smiles at his younger sister. The younger unicorn returns the smile.

♪

Look, here, are four little ponies

Ready to sing for this crowd,

Listen up, 'cause here's our story.

I'm gonna sing it...

♫

‘Thank you,’ Fleur interrupts. ‘What is your name, dearie?’

‘Sweetie Belle,’ the filly mumbles.

‘Would you and your guardian mind speaking with me?’

Sweetie looks offstage. Stormy trots out.

‘When do you have in mind?’ the stallion asks.

Fleur stands and looks around. ‘Attention! We are taking a short recess so I may speak with this contestant. We’ll meet back in ten minutes.’

Fleur climbs on stage and escorts the other unicorns to the back.

Rei motions to the other Cutie Mark Crusaders. ‘Come on! Let’s get some more In-N-Out while they’re distracted.’

The fillies follow their guardian away.

‘Get me at least three Double-Doubles!’ Full Moon calls. ‘And all the fries you can carry!’

Rei pops back. ‘How did you know what I was getting?’

Full Moon smiles. ‘Because Full Moons think alike.’

The pegasi giggle and go on their breaks.
…

Fleur closes a dressing room door behind her guests. Sweetie nervously hides behind Stormy. The stallion watches Fleur carefully.

Fleur smiles and sits so she can see Sweetie. ‘I regret to inform you, but your group won’t make it to the next round.’

Sweetie nods.

‘Tell us something we don’t know,’ Stormy huffs.

‘Sweetie Belle has a lot of natural talent. I want to switch her to the solo competition.’

‘Solo?’ Sweetie asks. ‘But I don’t like performing on my own...’

‘I was scared too, my first time modelling,’ Fleur shares. ‘I was so nervous that I fell right off the stage. I thought my dreams were over. Do you know what happened?’

Sweetie shakes her head.

‘The designer I was working for came out, helped me up, put one of her newer designs on me and sent me back out there.’ She laughs. ‘I learned if you have somepony who believes in you, like she did with me and I do with you, that you can get through any embarrassment.’

The filly kicks at the ground a bit. ‘Will I still get to see my friends before the show?’

‘Of course! Whatever makes you most comfortable.’ Fleur looks around. ‘It might be cheating a bit, but I would definitely be pulling for you to win.’

‘This doesn’t have anything to do with your school, does it?’ Stormy asks. ‘You are the sponsors of the event, and the prizes are contracts for the adults and scholarships for the foals.’

‘I do see Sweetie’s potential to excel at our school.’

‘Excel at the singing or excel at the extracurricular part?’

‘What extracurricular part?’

‘I helped Octavia get the school you work for. I know what you do for extracurricular activities.’

Fleur turns her nose up. ‘I think that should be up to Sweetie Belle to decide for herself.’

The two adults look at the filly.

Sweetie kicks at the ground a bit. ‘Well, uh, you do have a nice school...’ She looks up at Stormy. ‘I got to see it that time we all helped in Canterlot.’

‘We can talk about it when we get home,’ Stormy replies. ‘Right now, you have to decide if you want to compete in the solo competition.’

Sweetie thinks for a moment, staring at the ground again. She looks up at the two adults, smiles and nods.

‘Excellent!’ Fleur cheers. ‘I’ll make the arrangements right away.’

Fleur giggles and gallops away to sign Sweetie up. Stormy escorts the filly from the room.

‘Are you sure about this?’ the stallion asks.

Sweetie nods. ‘Y-yes. I know how much you and my friends like my singing. M-maybe somepony else might too.’

Stormy laughs. ‘I am sure everypony will love to hear you sing. Now, let’s find the others and tell them the good news. I bet they’ll be really excited.’

Sweetie giggles and brushes against Stormy as they trot away together.

The audience is out in force for the adult competition. Thousands of fans cheer or boo the performances. Fleur and Full Moon make notes on the performances for the first round of cuts. The organizers set up for the next band. A female, grey griffin with white feathers sets up drums and a keyboard. With the equipment set up, the rest of the band comes on stage and go to their instruments. St Hubbins, Nigel and Toki start playing the song. The grey griffin joins in after a moment.

Gilda takes the mic. ‘Thank you. We are We Flight Griffins. This is “Winter”.’ She waits for her cue and starts singing.

♪

I once saw you running from them what did they do to you

They turned you into a fool, but you are nobody's fool

They took something special from you, something you would not release

Shed your tears and let them freeze, shed your tears and let them freeze.

They don't know you like I know you all those ponies are the same

I swear I won't go away, I swear I won't go away

♫
…

We Flight Griffins run backstage as the audience cheers for them. They resist turning back and going out again. Toki keeps looking back.

‘Holy smokes!’ the griffin gapes. ‘They loved us.’

‘I knew they would love us even if we played a slow song,’ St Hubbins laughs.

The grey griffin ruffles Gilda’s feathers, getting the singer to blush. ‘You were great out there. I’m so proud.’

‘That was amazing!’ a new voice cheers.

The griffins look over to see Rainbow Dash trotting up. Gilda looks away. The other female griffin glares at the new arrival.

‘Thanks a lot, Rainbow Dash,’ St Hubbins replies, extending a talon.

Dash shakes the talons of the rest of the band.

Gilda shakes Dash’s hoof last. ‘I thought your groups were disqualified.’

‘One of the fillies got into the solo competition.’ The pegasus smirks. ‘She is going to blow them out of the sky. Just like you guys did out there.’

‘That’s not even the start of it,’ Nigel laughs.

‘Hey, how about I take ya to dinner to celebrate?’ Dash offers. ‘I know some places that are still open this late. It might be a bit of a fly, but I’m sure they’re worth it.’

‘Thank you, Miss Dash,’ Nigel replies. ‘That’ll be great.’

‘Give us a moment to get ready,’ St Hubbins adds.

Dash nods. ‘Take your time.’

The griffins head to their dressing room. Dash stops the grey griffin.

‘Hey, I’m Rainbow Dash,’ the pegasus introduces. ‘I must have missed you earlier.’

The grey griffin groans. She takes Dash’s hoof again. ‘I’m Gem. Nice to finally meet you.’

‘Do I...?’

‘I’m Gilda’s big sister. She’s told me all about you.’ She looks the pony over. ‘I heard you were Loyalty. You really didn’t show that trait when you last saw her.’

Dash cringes. ‘Oh, uh, I’m really sorry about what happened at the party.’

Gem shakes her head. ‘Don’t tell me that.’ She sighs. ‘Though, you do seem sincere about seeing her again. I hope you have grown into the role.’

‘She’s my friend. We may have had a fight, but she is still my friend. It is just coincidence that she sings with a kick-flank band too.’

Gem laughs. ‘Meet us out front in five minutes. And I hope you brought your wallet. We can eat a lot after a show.’

The griffin keeps laughing to herself as she heads to the dressing room. Dash smiles and goes to wait for her new friends.
…

Rainbow Dash and We Flight Griffins have a table all to themselves at a Coltifornian cuisine restaurant. The large group laughs and shares stories late into the night. They order another round of drinks.

‘So, Dash, what brings you to LA?’ Nigel asks. ‘Don’t see your name on the rosters.’

Dash laughs. ‘Nah, I ain’t here to sing. I came with some of my friends’ little sisters.’ She takes a drink brought to her. ‘My friends were busy, and I wanted to see the city. I lucked out when Sweetie made it. I get to hang out more.’ She drinks. ‘Totally worth it if I can see you guys perform again.’

‘Glad we have a fan,’ St Hubbins replies.

Nigel raises his drink. ‘Here’s to more to come.’

The band cheers and drinks. Toki falls over after finishing his drink.

‘Looks like he hit his limit,’ Nigel notes. ‘Let’s get him back.’

The males rise and pick up their rhythm guitarist. Gilda get up too.

‘Where you going, G?’ St Hubbins asks.

‘Yeah. Stay,’ Nigel encourages. ‘Catch up with your friend.’

Gilda sighs and sits. The males wave as they carry their friend away. The females sit and sip their drinks silently.

Gem clears her throat. ‘So, Dash, what have ya been up to? Besides foalsitting.’

Dash smiles. ‘Been training for the Wonderbolts.’

Gilda groans. ‘So, same as when I last saw you?’

The pegasus smirks. ‘Training because I got in.’

Gilda spits out her drink. ‘No freaking way!’

‘Just a provisional recruit right now. Still have to go through basic this summer, but I was top of my class at the Wonderbolts Academy.’

‘That’s pretty impressive,’ Gem comments.

‘Yeah... It is pretty boss,’ Dash sighs. ‘That’s why I want to get Scoots as prepped as I can. I want her flying up there with me someday too.’

‘Fillyfriend?’ Gem asks.

Dash frowns. ‘She is a filly and a friend. I’m like her mentor, ‘kay?’

‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to hit a nerve.’

Gilda takes a long drink. ‘What about the others?’

‘My friends are doing fine.’ Dash smiles. ‘I’m sure they’ll give you a second chance if you come back. I mean, we’re friends with Trixie and Discord now.’ She looks away. ‘And we let that monster into the League...’

Gilda fumbles with her drink. ‘They’d really let me back?’

‘Probably. And if they didn’t, they’d have to answer to me.’

Gem laughs as she drinks. Gilda finishes her drink and yawns.

‘That seems like a cue to me,’ Gem says. ‘We should get some rest if we are going to bring the house down again.’

The females get up and head to the door. Dash stops to pay the bill.

Gilda taps the pegasus on the back. ‘Dash... It is great seeing you again.’

‘Always great seeing you, G,’ Dash replies. ‘Can’t wait to see you tomorrow too.’

The griffin smiles, joins her sister and flies away.

Fleur yawns as she sits at the judge’s booth. She and Full Moon are up early again to judge another round of foal groups before the foal solos. The disguised changeling guard forces back the helicopter parents complaining about their foals’ scores while Fleur goes over the roster.

‘Well, are you ready to do this?’

‘Yep!’ a chipper voice replies.

The unicorn looks over to see Rei smiling at her. She groans, ‘Where is she?’

‘What do you mean?’ Rei asks. ‘The placard says the judges are “Fleur” and “Full Moon”. I’m Full Moon.’ The pegasus smiles.

Fleur groans and turns to the guard. ‘Where is she?’

‘She just wanted some time to sleep in,’ Rei answers. ‘Full Moons like sleepi-’

The young mare falls asleep where she sits.

‘Get her,’ Fleur tells the guard. Rei snores behind her. ‘Now!’

Rei falls over and hugs Fleur, rubbing her head on the unicorn’s chest fluff.

‘Hurry!’

Stormy waits in a dressing room. He helping Sweetie Belle get ready for her performance later. He even had Rarity send some dresses for her sister to wear. The door opens. Rainbow Dash and Inkie show the Cutie Mark Crusaders inside.

‘Sorry we’re late,’ Dash apologizes. ‘We were having a little too much fun playing tourist.’

‘Did you see lots of fun things?’

‘We saw a ton of great things!’ Sweetie replies. ‘We went to parks and museums and saw all sorts of ponies!’

Babs shrugs. ‘The ones in Manehattan are better.’

‘And Scootaloo fell int’ the dark muck,’ Apple Bloom grumbles.

Scootaloo blinks under a coating of tar. ‘Don’t act too surprised.’

Stormy laughs. ‘As long as you get cleaned up before... Scootaloo! Don’t touch that!’

The filly retracts a tar-soaked hoof before she touches one of Sweetie’s dresses.

Inkie carefully pulls Scootaloo away. ‘Let’s get you cleaned up before the show.’

‘Hey, uh, have the other bands arrived yet?’ Dash asks.

‘I think I saw your friends in the halls earlier,’ Stormy replies.

‘Sweet! I’ll be back before you perform!’

Rainbow dashes away to find her friends. Stormy laughs and levitates Sweetie in front of a mirror. He starts brushing her mane.

‘What are you four planning on doing tomorrow?’ the young stallion asks.

‘I don’t know...’ Sweetie hems. ‘Depends on how I do tonight, I guess.’

‘I think you should go to the beach,’ Stormy suggests. ‘I know Rei wants to go. I’ll be free too, so we can go together.’

Sweetie blushes. ‘That sounds fun.’

‘Did ya get enough dresses?’ Babs asks, going through a packed wardrobe.

‘Just wanted to make sure we had something appropriate for whatever Sweetie wanted to sing tonight,’ Stormy replies.

‘You haven’t picked my song?!’ the young unicorn panics.

‘I thought that should be up to you. I’ll tell Fleur to prepare whatever you are feeling up to singing.’

Sweetie moans as Stormy goes on to cleaning his sister’s coat.

‘Come on, Sweetie,’ Apple Bloom encourages. ‘Ya can sing whatever ya want.’

‘I know... I’m just not comfortable singing in front of others.’

‘Yer fine at the Sisterhooves Social, and a lot o’ that ya have t’ do on yer own and in public.’

‘I guess...’

‘Hey! How about we pick a song for ya?’ Babs offers.

‘Sweetie would need time to practice if it isn’t one she know already,’ Stormy point out, fluffing Sweetie’s tail.

‘I-I think I know one I can do,’ Sweetie says. ‘I-it is one I heard Rarity singing a few times.’

Stormy smiles. ‘I think I know which one you mean.’ He gets up. ‘I’ll tell Fleur. You two pick something nice for Sweetie to wear.’

The young stallion heads out while the fillies go to the dresses. Sweetie smiles into the mirror and hums a tune to herself
…

Sweetie Belle nervously trots on stage in the dress Babs and Apple Bloom picked out. Her friends sit in the front row and cheer for her. Fleur claps as the filly trots up to the mic on shaky hooves.

‘Whenever you’re ready, dear,’ the model encourages.

Sweetie nods and levitates the mic.

♫

I'll be the toast of the town, the girl on the go

I'm the type of pony every pony, every pony should know

I'll be the one to watch, the girl in the flow

I'm the type of pony every pony, every pony should know

♪
…

Sweetie gallops offstage into a hug from Stormy.

‘You were wonderful,’ the older unicorn compliments.

‘Y-you didn’t hear when I messed up?’ Sweetie worries.

‘If I didn’t catch it, then nopony did,’ another voice replies.

Sweetie squeaks and hides as Full Moon trots up.

The idol holds out a headset. ‘Here. This will make tomorrow’s performance easier.’

Stormy looks towards the stage again. ‘Aren’t you judging the show?’

Full Moon smiles, exposing a fang. ‘I am. Can’t a girl be in two places at once?’

‘No,’ Stormy replies flatly.

‘Hmpf!’ the idol snorts. ‘Either way, I can assure you that you are in the finals, little one.’ She smiles again. ‘Perhaps we will perform together in the future.’

Full Moon slips away into the shadows. Stormy looks down at Sweetie. The filly smiles as she stares at the headset. She puts on the equipment and looks up at her brother. He smiles and laughs. They hear a cheer. Sweetie’s friends gallop up and hug her.

We Flight Griffins come on stage to loud cheers. They wave to the fans as they ready their instruments. St Hubbins adjusts some settings on his guitar before taking a mic.

‘Thank you!’ the rocker greets. ‘Tonight’s performance is dedicated to Nightmare Moon!’

The ponies in the audience murmur angrily. Full Moon laughs and looks back at a facehoofing dark blue pegasus behind her.

‘Dude!’ Gilda hisses. ‘Not cool!’

‘Sorry! I meant, tonight’s show is dedicated to Luna. We salute you, our Dark Lord of the Night!’

St Hubbins and Nigel throw the horns. A large number of audience members, including ponies, cheer as well. The dark blue pegasus mutters and swears.

Full Moon leans back. ‘Hey, at least you get a song. Who would ever make a song about me?’

Once the audience calms down, the band starts rocking their song.
…

Rainbow Dash and the band celebrate another night of victory. The restaurant they are at is filled with the cheers and laughter of the celebrators. They raise their drinks and drink deep.

‘Wooo! Nothing beats partying on somepony else’s dime!’ Nigel cheers.

‘Don’t worry about it.’ Rainbow Dash slips Toki’s money pouch into her pocket. ‘I picked up a bit from Daring Do.’

Gem laughs. ‘Ha! I’d like a piece of that, too. Those books must be worth a fortune.’

Dash looks around. ‘Uh, yeah. That too.’

St Hubbins sets down his drink. ‘So, G, are we using your song in the finals tomorrow?’

Gilda blushes. ‘It-it is not ready yet.’

‘Come on, G!’ Nigel encourages. ‘You’ve been working on it since we met.’

‘You wrote a song, G?’ Dash asks.

The griffin turns redder and hides behind her drink.

‘Yeah, little sis is a great songstress,’ Gem brags. ‘It is a pretty awesome piece.’ She slaps Gilda on the back. ‘I bet Dash would love to hear it.’

Gilda shakes her head and tries to get up. The others force her down.

‘Come on, guys. If she doesn’t wanna, don’t force her,’ Dash says.

The other griffins sigh and back off.

‘Thanks, Dash,’ Gilda mumbles.

‘No prob,’ Dash replies. ‘Now, let’s get back to partying!’

The griffins cheer as the pegasus gets out Toki’s money pouch to pay for the drinks.

Full Moon’s guard clears away the crowds so the idol can make it to the judge’s table. Over-concerned parents and overzealous bands complain about their treatment or beg favor for the final rounds. The pegasus calmly sips her coffee as she takes her seat. Fleur goes over her notes for the final rounds.

‘Sorry I’m late,’ Full Moon apologizes. ‘I was really tired and had trouble getting my disguise on.’

‘At least you made it on time,’ Fleur grumbles. ‘I’m getting really tired of you trying to sneak off all the time. I am afraid you will get found out and blow our whole deal.’

‘Don’t worry,’ the pegasus groans. ‘It is not like I am going to pose as Cadence again just to get a good deal on shoes or something.’

Fleur sets a newspaper in front of the other mare. It has a picture of Cadence out shopping on the front page.

‘That wasn’t me. I swear,’ Full Moon defends.

The tall unicorn glares at the shorter pegasus. The idol sweats under the scrutiny.

Fleur turns to the guard. ‘Find her and bring her to me.’ She turns back to her duties. ‘Your dye runs when you are scared, Miss Silver Fox. Mind explaining yourself?’

‘Well, uh, we did some stuff together, and well, it was a great excuse to break out of my probation in Canterlot... It was her idea! She needed a pegasus who could pull off the part, and Rei is too short!’

Fleur sighs. ‘Say that again, but louder. A little electroshock would be punishment enough for you.’ She takes a deep breath and lets out a small growl. ‘As long as you are here, you can fill in while Full Moon is absent.’ She waves down an organizer. ‘Tell the contestants we are ready to begin.’

The Cutie Mark Crusaders, just back from the beach, bounce around Sweetie Belle’s dressing room, working off their excess energy. Sweetie sits to the side, composing herself and playing with her new headset. Rei, Stormy and Inkie are composing as well. Rei writes out lyrics while Stormy and Inkie write up some music.

‘No, it should be softer than that,’ Rei says.

Stormy grumbles as he adjusts the music. ‘If you did this sooner, we might have made it past the first round.’

‘Not with We Flight Griffins in the running,’ Inkie replies.

‘That and we wouldn’t have another song after this.’

‘Hey,’ Rei huffs. ‘This was going to be present for my mommy. I’m just letting you borrow it because Sweetie will be adorable singing it.’

The filly squeaks nervously at the mention of her name.

‘Sweetie? You know how to read music, right?’ Inkie asks.

The filly nods.

‘Good. That will make practicing this a lot easier.’

Stormy glances at the clock. ‘Rei, are the lyrics done?’

‘They are perfecto!’ the pegasus cheers.

‘Good. If you two can finish the music before showtime, I’d like to get Sweetie ready and give her time to rehearse.’

‘Got ya.’ Rei nods and heads to the door. ‘Come on, girls. Let’s get the best seats.’

‘Aww! But I want to stay and help Sweetie Belle,’ Scootaloo moans.

‘You can help by cheering for her as loud as you can,’ Inkie replies, pushing the filly out of the room.

‘Knock ‘em dead, Sweetie,’ Apple Bloom encourages.

‘Yeah,’ Babs agrees. ‘You’re going to slay them!’

Stormy rolls his eyes after the door closes. ‘Knowing this school, that is entirely possible.’ He pats beside him. ‘Come on. Let’s get you beautiful while you go over the song.’

Sweetie nods and sits beside Stormy. She hums a melody as she reads lyrics from a monitor. Stormy smiles as he listens to her prepare.
…

Sweetie stands just offstage, waiting for her cue. Stormy is with her to help calm her nerves. He sits and rubs the scared filly’s back.

‘You’re going to be amazing,’ the stallion comments. ‘And I know they would want you at their school even if you don’t win. More importantly,’ -- he turns her attention to him -- ‘I don’t care if you win or lose. Just have fun out there.’

‘Th-thanks, Stormy.’

‘Rei said she is going to be streaming the performance back to Ponyville. I bet Rarity got Twilight to have everypony at the library to watch your show. They are going to be so proud of you.’

Sweetie squeaks and kicks at the stage a bit.

Stormy sighs and get her to look up again. ‘Keep in mind that we are still siblings, but I know this will help and bring you luck.’

The stallion leans down and quickly pecks the filly on the lips. Her eyes go wide and she smiles.

‘Thanks, Stormy. I’m feeling less nervous now.’

The audience cheers the last performer as he leaves the stage.

‘Our next act is Sweetie Belle from Ponyville!’ Full Moon calls from the judges table.

Sweetie gives Stormy one last hug before trotting on stage to cheers of her own. She waves to the audience. ‘Th-thank you! This song is one my friend wrote for her mother! I-I think it fits me a little as well.’

The filly nods to the judges. They start playing the music Rei and Inkie finished. Sweetie waits for her cue and starts singing.

♪

I never tried or needed

To socialize because nature was my best friend

That doesn't mean I conceded

To become what others saw me as: a dead end

I can't say I want to be noticed

But that doesn't mean I like to be ignored

♫

We Flight Griffins are doing their pre-show warm ups. St Hubbins is deep in meditation. Nigel works out. Gem stands on her hind legs and jumps rope. Toki hums a cheery tune to himself as he plays with dolls of bipedal apes. Gilda paces around the room. An organizer knocks on the door and calls them to the stage.

‘We’re doing it,’ Gilda states.

‘What?’ St Hubbins snorts as he wakes up.

‘We’re doing my song.’

Gem smiles and pats her sister on the back. ‘Excellent. I knew we would.
…

The band goes straight to their instruments. They wave to the crowd as they setup.

Gilda grabs the mic. ‘This song goes out to a special friend of mine! Hit it!’

The band plays. Gilda nods along with the music until it hits her cure.

♫

Flash of red

the spectral wonder takes flight

and she's ready and she's steady and she's feelin' just right

She got the passion, the drive, the tenacity to win

and in 10 seconds flat she'll take your head for a spin

♪
…

Rainbow Dash stares in shock as We Flight Griffins takes their celebration backstage. Nigel hoists their trophy high while the others laugh and cheers. They all ruffle Gilda’s feathers while the griffin blushes and pushes the others away.

‘G...’ Dash gapes. ‘Was that song about..?’

Gilda smiles. ‘You think I would forget my best friend?’ She laughs. ‘Some Element of Loyalty you are.’

The pegasus leans in and hugs her friend. ‘Thanks, G. That was awesome.’

The griffin smiles coyly. ‘A hug was nice, but I think I’d prefer a kiss.’

Dash blushes and her wings stick up. Gilda reaches out, grabs and kisses Toki as hard as she can. Dash frowns and her wings drop. The two griffins pant when Gilda lets up.

‘I love you so much,’ Gilda coos. ‘I am so glad you got me into the band.’ She looks at Dash. ‘What’s with you? Jealous?’

The pegasus looks away and kicks the ground. ‘No...’

St Hubbins puts a talon around Dash’s neck. ‘Don’t worry. We’ll get so plastered tonight that we’ll need to check YouTube to figure out why there is a trophy in our room.’ He laughs. ‘Our treat this time since we got the big contract and all!’

The group cheers and heads out to party. Gilda drops back from Toki and catch Rainbow Dash.

‘This was the best twist of fate, getting to see you again,’ the griffin says.

Dash smiles at her friend. ‘Hey. There is this pretty cool theater in Ponyville if you are ever on tour...’

Sweetie Belle leans against her trophy on the train ride home. The award is bigger than its owner. The filly is worn out from celebrating all night. An invitation and scholarship letter stick out of her saddlebag. Her friends try to play a game quietly, but they cannot stop being excited for their friend too.

‘Yes, mommy,’ Rei says into her mobile. ‘I wrote that for you. Did you like it? … I knew you would. You are the kindest mommy, after all.’

Inkie groans into her mobile. ‘Pinkie, I know we still have another day on the train, but I am pretty sure we’re going to be too tired to party right as we get home. Maybe it can wait for the next day?’

‘Do you think she can handle it, Rarity?’ Stormy asks. ‘Fleur pretty much told me she wanted Sweetie for the “special program”. … Yes, I know the school would be perfect for her otherwise. That is why I want her to go. … What about your parents? … We’ll talk about it when we get home. … I hope they allow her to go too. Bye.’

The young stallion hangs up his mobile and sighs. He looks over at Sweetie Belle. It seems as if a smile is permanently stuck on her face. He laughs and rubs the filly’s back as he leans back to enjoy the ride.

Full Moon steps out of her hotel suite. She spies a tall white unicorn with a flowing pink mane. She is a little confused since Fleur was still in the room when she left.

‘Can I help you?’ the pegasus asks.

The unicorn gasps and gallops over. She levitates a small notebook. ‘It is you! It is Full Moon! Can I have your autograph?’ Amy begs.

Full Moon laughs, ‘Sure.’ She signs a blank page and gives the notebook back. ‘Here you go.’

The notebook is knocked to the floor. Full Moon looks up to see Princess Celestia glaring down at her.

‘Do you really think you could sneak into my country without me noticing?’ the princess accuses. ‘You have a lot of nerve trying that, Chrysalis. I am going to have to punish you this infraction.’

Full Moon starts sweating, causing her dye to run and silver streaks to appear in her mane. The suite door opens again. Chrysalis calmly trots past the princess and Silver Fox.

‘See ya around, Sun-butt,’ the changeling greets.

Celestia growls and spins around. ‘Damn you, Cheese-legs!’

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Rainbow Dash and Gilda patch up their friendship. Sweetie Belle is recruited for Octavia's school.

Story Event: We Flight Griffins is supposed to be a bit of a mish-mash of several musical names. (I don't really know music, so I am sorry for screwing everything up.) The band name is based on I Fight Dragons. I love their style. Love the combo of nerd and rock. The members (sans Gilda) are mostly based on Spinal Tap, St Hubbins and Nigel. Toki (based on Dethklok) was originally Derek from Spinal Tap, but I changed it since I wanted to make Dethklok references. Gem is named after Meg White. I really wanted a female drummer and had too many good ones to pick from, but I went with Meg White over the others.

Also, we get our first sorta look at Los Arion, other than in the background of 'A Well-Earned Break'. The city is based on Los Angeles combined with Ventura, Long Beach, Anaheim, Orange and all the other cities in the LA Metropolitan area (except Signal Hill, because screw them! [jk. Signal Hill is cool.]). Despite the traffic volume, the city is really cool and easy to navigate. I highly recommend it if you can afford to live there. (Note: I am from Long Beach so I might be a little biased. Also, LBC is the best! [after Seattle!])

Fun Fact: Because I'm Shy is probably my favorite MLP based song. It really feels like it describes me well... Maybe too well... I'm going to hide for a week now.

Thank to Veda Quila for some advice on the chapter.

Cutie Mark Changeling

Main Characters: Del, CMC, Cheerilee
Cameos: Stormy, Big Macintosh, TWP
Original Write Date: May 12, 2013

Del trots to school with a big smile on her face. All her friends smile and wave as she passes. She goes straight to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

‘Good morning, Apple Bloom, Scoots,’ Del greets.

‘Mornin’, Del. Y’all seem t’ be in a good mood.’

Del smiles wider, her fangs peeking out, and nods.

‘You still riding the high of your dad getting married?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘Maybe a little, but this is different. Look!’

Del turns to show her friends her flank. Their jaws drop when they see a magenta triangle on her side. Other foals come over and marvel at Del’s new cutie mark.

‘Ya got yer cutie mark!’

Del nods. ‘I finally came up with it. Pretty good design, right?’

‘The hell does a triangle mean?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘Triangle?’ Diamond Tiara scoffs. ‘She should have a square since she totally is one.’

Del hisses as the pink filly leaves. ‘Actually, it is a delta, the symbol for change. And it is the same color as Sparkly Twilight’s star too!’

‘That’s, uh, nice?’ Apple Bloom comments. ‘What does it mean?’

‘Well, uh, it has a bit of a special, secret meaning to me. That is why I picked it.’

‘How can you “pick” your cutie mark?’ Dinky asks.

‘Did I say that? I didn’t mean it!’ Del dodges. ‘I wasn’t trying to come up with one for months...’

The bell rings, and the students file into the schoolhouse.

‘Where’s Cutie Belle?’ Del asks. ‘She hasn’t said anything yet.’

‘Sweetie ain’t here t’day,’ Apple Bloom replies. ‘She’s sick.’

‘Does that mean we aren’t having any adventuring today?’ the pegasus asks.

‘Probably not,’ Scootaloo sighs. ‘Kinda tough with only two Crusaders.’

‘I can always help,’ Del offers. ‘Just because I have my mark now, doesn’t mean I can’t help you get yours.’

‘Thanks, Del. That’ll help a lot,’ Apple Bloom replies.

‘I don’t know...’ Scootaloo hems. ‘Last time we tried that with Stormy, look at the mess that got us in.’

‘That’s ‘cause ya started fightin’ with him. Like ya doin’ now with Del.’

‘It is okay, Apple Bloom,’ Del sighs. ‘If Scoots doesn’t want to do anything later, it is fine with me. I can always help in my sister’s store or something.’

‘Sorry, Del,’ the earth pony apologizes. ‘Hey, that don’t mean we can’t have fun while we’re at school.’

Del sighs and nods as she and her friends enter the schoolhouse.

After school, the students file out to begin their afternoon adventures. Del waves to her friend before darting back into the building and heading to the opposite exit.

‘Del, where are you going?’ Cheerilee asks.

‘Oh, uh, hi, Miss Cheerie. I was just heading out.’

‘You were out already.’

‘I was? Silly me. I guess I am just weird.’

‘Del... What are you up to?’

‘I’m not up to anything, Miss Cheerie.’

The teacher glares at her student. Del smiles as innocently as she can with her fangs creeping out.

‘Well, see you later.’

Del scurries out of schoolhouse. Cheerilee frowns and wonders what her student is up to. Del goes around the building. There is a green flash, and Sweetie Belle trots from behind the building. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are about to say their goodbyes when they notice their friend trotting up.

‘Hey, girls! How’s it going?’ Sweetie Del asks.

‘Sweetie Belle? Thought ya were sick,’ Apple Bloom replies.

‘Oh, you know me. I just lied so I could stay home. I just napped in Stormy’s bed and drank juice all day.’

‘Lucky,’ Scootaloo grumbles. ‘My mom always bugs me when I’m sick. I can never pull off faking either.’

‘So, are we doing something today?’ Sweetie Del asks. ‘I’m up for adventure!’

‘Ah guess we can find somethin’.’ Apple Bloom turns to Scootaloo. ‘Should we get Del? She really wanted t’ hang out.’

‘Don’t worry about her,’ Sweetie Del says. ‘She was heading the other way. Probably going to spend the day with her sister.’

‘We can always stop in and see her later,’ Scootaloo adds. ‘Come on. Let’s go!’

The Cutie Mark Crusaders cheer and gallop away. Cheerilee hears the cheer and steps out of the schoolhouse. Her curiosity turns to anger when she sees Sweetie Belle out with her friends. The mare finishes cleaning up and storms out of the school.

‘Welcome to Carousel Boutique. Here everything is blah, blah, blah,’ Stormy says without looking up from his hoofheld game. ‘Sorry. We’re closed this afternoon. You can schedule an appointment for tomorrow.’

Cheerilee taps the counter to get the young stallion’s attention. ‘I want to see your sister,’ the teacher demands.

‘She’s busy with orders right now, hence we’re closed.’

‘I meant your little sister.’

‘Applelanta. Probably making ice cream or something fun.’

Cheerilee sighs. ‘Your other little sister.’

‘She’s dead.’

The mare’s jaw drops. ‘What?!’

‘You can see her, but the body is currently under quarantine to prevent a zombie outbreak.’

Cheerilee stares in shock. A moan comes over Stormy’s mobile.

The unicorn looks at his mobile. ‘Well, you are pretty much a zombie. I’m not going anywhere near your room until you’re better.’

There is another moan.

‘I love you, too.’ He looks at Cheerilee. ‘She is such an angel.’

‘So, Sweetie Belle is fine? You had me worried.’

‘I’m pretty sure she has a bad case of zombie, but Redheart says it is only a flu.’ -- a moan comes from his mobile -- ‘And I am not going anywhere near her until she is better.’

Cheerilee looks away and thinks. ‘Then who was the Sweetie Belle I saw earlier...’

‘Robot clone?’ Stormy guesses.

The teacher looks at the unicorn then turns away and sighs. ‘I think I have an idea, and that is not it.’

Stormy covers his mobile. ‘It was Del, right?’

‘You know?’

‘I made her presentable for your first meeting. Just tell her dad and he’ll punish her for abusing her powers.’

‘I’ll find her and take her home. I don’t want her to accidentally hurt herself or her friends.’

Cheerilee sighs and leaves the shop. Stormy goes back to his game. A moan comes over his mobile. The stallion levitates a juice box from the kitchen and upstairs.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders take an apple from Apple Bloom’s family stand. They wave and trot away.

‘Thanks, Big Mac,’ Apple Bloom and Scootaloo say.

‘Thank you, Apple Mac!’ Sweetie Del adds.

The fillies trot away eating.

‘Isn’t that what Del calls him?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘I must have picked it up, Scoots.’

‘Give her a break,’ Apple Bloom sighs. ‘We got more crusadin’ t’ do.’

The friends gallop off together. The stallion takes a breath as he goes back to watching the stall. All the mares out shopping giggle and give him affectionate looks. Big Macintosh sighs. Cheerilee enters the market and searches frantically for the Cutie Mark Crusaders. She trots to her friend.

‘Big Mac, I need your help.’

The stallion raises an eyebrow.

‘Have you seen Sweetie Belle recently?’

‘Eeyup.’

‘Do you know where she is?’

‘Nope.’

‘Dang. I need to get her back home before something goes wrong.’

‘Did somethin’ happen, Miss Cheerilee?’ the stallion asks.

‘N-no. Not yet. She is supposed to be home in bed, not out with her friends.’

Big Macintosh nods. ‘Ah understand what yer sayin’. Ah can help ya.’

‘You do? You will?’

The stallion nods again. ‘Ya can’t have a sick filly runnin’ about. She could get int’ trouble.’

‘Well, that’s not exactly it, but I appreciate the help. Do you know which way they went?’

The stallion closes up shop, turns to the mare and nods. He leads her in the direction the Cutie Mark Crusaders went. A few moments later, Applejack comes to the stall. She looks around and goes to one of the neighbors.

‘Carrot Top, have y’all seen Big Macintosh?’

The other mare shrugs. ‘I think he just left with Cheerilee.’

‘Dagnabit! Ah thought Ah told him no more sneakin’ out early t’ spend time with a mare.’

‘I think they were doing something with your sister. She just came by too.’

Applejack takes a deep breath and snorts. ‘At least he ain’t causin’ trouble. Don’ need more o’ that from him.’

The farmer grumbles to herself as she reopens the stall.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders trot out of Sugarcube Corner. Sweetie Del licks frosting off her face. Her friends look at her and sigh.

‘Ya know, fer somepony who wanted t’ adventure, ya seem t’ need a lota snack breaks,’ Apple Bloom comments.

‘A happy stomach leads to a happy pony,’ Sweetie Del replies.

‘The way you’re eating today, you’re happier than Pinkie Pie,’ Scootaloo jokes.

‘Ah’m glad yer the one payin’ fer it too...’

Sweetie Del giggles. ‘So, where are we going now? We can go to Bon Bon’s shop and try to be Cutie Mark Candy Tasters.’

‘Stormy didn’ feed ya t’day, did he?’

‘He didn’t what?’ She blinks. ‘Oh! Right. I just wanted something different.’

‘Stormy is a baker, and you wanted something different, so we went to a bakery.’ Scootaloo knows that does not add up.

‘Stormy is good, but I like the Cakery too.’

‘That’s another Del term,’ Apple Bloom notes.

‘Is something up, Sweetie Belle?’ Scootaloo asks, trotting up to her friend.

Sweetie Del looks at the other fillies and grins nervously. Her fangs start slipping out.

‘There you are!’

The fillies turn to see Cheerilee and Big Macintosh galloping up. Sweetie Del grimaces and gallops away. Her friends are confused but follow.

‘You’re in trouble now!’ Scootaloo taunts. She uses her wings to get some extra speed.

‘Shut up!’ Sweetie Del shouts. ‘She’s the least of my worries right now. I need a place to hide.’

Apple Bloom groans. ‘Let’s go t’ the clubhouse. All the runaways end up there eventually...’

The fillies make their way through town with the adults in chase. The fillies use their smaller size to try to dodge under other ponies. The plan backfires when the ponies in their path clear out for the charging Big Macintosh. As soon as Sweet Apple Acres comes into view, the fillies make their way to the trees for cover. The chasing stallion figures out where they are headed and leads Cheerilee safely through the orchard. The Crusaders reach their clubhouse first. Sweetie Del makes a flying leap to shack, surprising her friends. The rest of the fillies bolt inside and seal the door. Cheerilee marches up their stairs and pounds on the door.

‘Want me t’ handle it, Miss Cheerilee?’ Big Macintosh offers.

‘Girls! Open up!’ Cheerilee shouts. ‘The longer you hide, the worse you make it.’

‘One good kick...’

Cheerilee snorts at the stallion and turns back to the door. Before she can shout again, the door opens.

Scootaloo clears her throat. ‘Sweetie Belle isn’t here right now. If you would like to leave a message...’

‘She is under that doily with a vase on her head,’ the teacher sighs.

‘Told ya, ya couldn’ hide as a table,’ Apple Bloom groans.

‘Worth a shot,’ Sweetie Del whimpers.

Cheerilee shakes her head. ‘Okay, girls. Clear out. I need to have a word with your friend.’

‘Have fun with her, Scootaloo!’ Sweetie Del cheers as she lines up a jump out a window.

‘Not her. You. And I want to talk to you privately unless you want your friends to find out your secret.’

Sweetie Del frowns and looks away. She sits and waits for the teacher. Her friends snort and stand in front of Cheerilee.

‘She is our friend and a Cutie Mark Crusader,’ Scootaloo states. ‘We’re all in this together.’

‘Yeah!’ Apple Bloom agrees. ‘Anythin’ ya do t’ her, ya do t’ all of us.’

Cheerilee advances on the fillies, giving Big Macintosh barely enough room to get in the building. The teacher glares down at her students.

‘Do you want to tell them?’ she says directly at Sweetie Del.

Del takes a deep breath and drops her disguise. ‘They are my friends. They should know.’

The other fillies look at their friend. They instantly flashback to the time Chrysalis kidnapped them. They scream and hide behind Big Macintosh. The stallion growls and stands his ground.

‘Okay,’ Cheerilee huffs. ‘Now that your secret is out in the open, I can deal with you better.’

‘Ya think ya can handle her?’ Big Macintosh says, stepping forward.

‘Big Mac?’

‘Cause Ah think Ah can handle a changelin’ better.’

The large stallion rears up to stomp the cowering changeling. Del screams and covers her head.

‘Don’t you dare hurt her!’ Cheerilee shouts. She stands on her hind legs between the stallion and the filly.

‘Outa the way, Miss Cheerilee. She’s a danger and needs t’ be taken care of.’

‘Big Mac! No!’ Apple Bloom begs, grabbing his leg. ‘She’s mah friend!’

‘She doesn’t mean to hurt us!’ Scootaloo adds. ‘We were just startled!’

‘She’s a monster and should be dealt with!’

‘You hurt one hair on her head, and you who will have to answer to her father,’ Cheerilee threatens. ‘As of now, she is the only one that broke any rules. Celestia help you if you so much as touch her and Mr Wanderer finds out.’

‘Please don’t get in trouble, Apple Mac,’ Del whimpers. ‘I like you.’

The stallion growls and returns to all fours. ‘Ah want t’ have a word with yer father ‘bout this.’

Cheerilee sighs and helps Del up. ‘Talk to Applejack first. She should know most of the details too.’

Big Macintosh snorts and storms out of the clubhouse, shaking the flimsy shack.

‘Are you ready to go home?’ the teacher asks her student.

Del changes to her pegasus disguise and nods. The two ponies trot from the clubhouse.

‘Wait!’ Scootaloo calls. ‘We’re going too!’

‘We’re friends. Friends stick t’gether!’ Apple Bloom adds.

Del smiles back at her friends as they follow her and Cheerilee back to town.

Del frowns and stares at the ground. Her father glares intensely at her. The young changeling tries to not cry as her punishment is dealt out.

‘Del, go to your room,’ James says. ‘You are not allowed to have any sweets. I know you have stashes, but you are not allowed to have any of them until I say so.’

The filly gets up. ‘Yes, daddy.’ She starts heading to her room.

‘I’m also going to tell Chrysalis you broke one of her rules too. She’ll want to talk to you too.’

Del nods and wimpers as she goes to her room. James takes a deep breath and looks at his other guests. Cheerilee stands behind Apple Bloom and Scoolaloo. The two fillies watch their dejected friend go to her room and close the door behind her. James clears her throat and motions for the fillies to come over.

‘What do you think of your friend now?’ James asks.

Apple Bloom looks at Scootaloo then at the stallion. ‘Ah was startled t’ see that Del is a changelin’, but she’s Del. She’s mah friend.’

‘Yeah,’ Scootaloo agrees. ‘Other changelings are scary, but Del is one of the best friends we have.’

‘Do you hate changelings for kidnapping you? I heard what Chrysalis did to you while you were there.’

‘Pfft! She’s a pushover,’ Scootaloo scoffs. ‘We had her wrapped around our hooves.’

‘She took Del into her family. Del is her heir.’

‘I mean, she is a very kind and gracious ruler. One of the best I’ve ever seen.’

Apple Bloom and Cheerilee facehoof.

James sighs, ‘Are you going to tell anypony about Del’s secret?’

The fillies shake their heads.

James smiles and nods. ‘Good. There is juice and soda in the fridge. Get yourselves some and take one to Del too. Get to know your friend better. Learn that changelings aren’t all bad.’

The fillies nod and go to join their friend. James groans and sits at the dining room table. Cheerilee joins him.

‘Why did you have them do that? I thought you were punishing Del for revealing her secret.’

‘Did you see how terrified she looked? I’d be mad at Big Mac for threatening her but knowing ponies like him are out there is punishment enough. At least we’re even for me threatening his sister.’

‘What do we do about her revealing herself?’

James thinks. ‘As long as her friends don’t let it slip, she will be more careful. You’ll keep an eye on her for me, right?’

‘I always have. She is a sweet little filly. I’d hate to lose her.’

‘Thank you.’ He stands and groans. ‘I can’t wait to hear what Twilight will say...’

Cheerilee laughs. ‘It will be fine. She has great mothering instincts. She knows it will be for the best.’

James nods and shows Cheerilee out. He takes a breath and goes to check on the fillies. He smiles when he sees them sitting around Del’s room, laughing together. Neither of the ponies seem scared to be so close to a changeling. James laughs and gets ready for dinner.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Del reveals herself her friends and Big Macintosh. (Yes, Sweetie will find out too, but that is a scene for another time.)

For the Ages

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight Velvet
Cameos: Night Light, Commander Kain, Twilight Sparkle
Original Start Date: April 18, 2013

Twilight Velvet arranges papers on a desk before the start of class. Her students file into the lecture hall, slowly filling every seat. With the class nearly full and almost time to begin, Twilight Velvet steps to the front of the class.

‘Welcome back to Magic History,’ Velvet greets. ‘I have graded your practice exam. As you know, the test was anonymous, but I’m a little worried about the results. A only third of you knew who Starswirl the Bearded was. About a quarter knew Princess Luna was the original wielder of the Element of Magic. What worries me most is that half you didn’t know who the current Element of Magic is.’

A stallion in the middle of class raises a hoof. ‘Who is the current Element of Magic?’

Twilight Velvet stares in shock. ‘You really don’t know?’

The stallion shakes his head.

‘She is my daughter!’ Velvet shouts. ‘Princess Twilight Sparkle is the Element of Magic! It is on the syllabus that she will be giving a guest lecture in a few weeks!’

‘OH!’ too many students groan.

Twilight Velvet glares at her class, her expression screaming ‘get out of here’.

Twilight Velvet goes to lunch at a local coffee shop. She would dine with her husband, but his class schedule keeps them apart most days this quarter. The mare sighs as she eats and reads recent news stories. She smiles at all the reports still being generated about her daughter’s recent engagement.

A pair of younger mares sit near Twilight Velvet. They keep looking over at the older mare. Twilight Velvet does her best to ignore them.

‘Is that?’ one mare asks.

‘No,’ the other replies. ‘She some prof at uni. Great for naps.’

Twilight Velvet sighs and pretends not to have heard the comment.

‘Yeah. Didn’t think so. No wings. Hey! Did you hear she is engaged?’

The other mare groans. ‘Yeah. To some common earth pony.’

‘I know, right? Her brother is a royal guard and married a princess. She should have married somepony equally as regal, like Octavia Philharmonica.’

Her friend sighs. ‘I’m not into mares, but I’d love to be with Octavia.’

‘Yeah... Not some common earth pony from nowhere.’

‘Definitely.’

Twilight Velvet snorts, takes her drink and leaves. The younger mares watch her leave.

‘Sheesh. What is her problem?’

After dinner, Twilight Velvet and Night Light sit in the lounge reading and grading papers. The stallion yawns as he works. Velvet sighs and sets down her book.

‘Want to do something this weekend, dear?’ the mare asks.

‘Sorry,’ Night Light replies. ‘I’ve been asked to attend an education conference next week, and I need to spend the time preparing.’

‘But we haven’t done anything in forever!’ Velvet moans. ‘We can’t just sit around reading and doing paperwork every weekend. We should be out having an adventure and meeting new ponies.’ She gasps in excitement. ‘We should visit Shining in the Crystal Kingdom.’

‘I am sure Shining has better things to do than entertain his parents when they are bored.’

‘Ni~ght Li~ght! I want to do something fun~!’

Night Light looks up from his work. ‘Can’t you call one of your friends and do something with them?’

Twilight Velvet glares and growls, but then she sits back with a crafty grin. ‘I think I know somepony I can call.’

‘Wonderful!’ Night Light cheers, returning to work. ‘I hope it all works out.’

‘Me too,’ Velvet agrees, trotting away. ‘I just hope he and Twilight are free...’

‘Mhm.’ Night Light keeps working. ‘Wait. What?’

James pulls a lever on the TARDIS console. He turns a few knobs and presses a couple buttons. Once the power-down sequence is initiated, he turns to his travel companion.

‘Now, the most important part about time travel is not interfering. Don’t get yourself noticed. Don’t stand out. I know I promised you an adventure, but we are not to interfere at all.’

Twilight Velvet smiles at her host. ‘You have nothing to worry about. I’m just glad for the trip. Too bad Twilight couldn’t join us.’

James shrugs. ‘Well, she is responsible and hardworking. She doesn’t just whisk her future mother-in-law off on adventures willy-nilly.’

Velvet giggles. ‘I’m sure she’ll have plenty of adventures of her own.’

James looks around nervously. ‘Okay. Now, we’re doing something very risky. We’re in the future. Just about thirty or so years, but there could be advancements in magic and technology way beyond understanding. So, if you want to, uh, “borrow” something, try not to draw attention to yourself.’

The stallion opens the TARDIS doors. He is immediately confronted by rows of armed royal guards. A bat pony in commander armor steps forward.

‘Mr Wanderer, you’re coming with us,’ the bat pony states.

James sweats under all the attention directed at him. Velvet giggles at her host.

‘Please, Mr Wanderer. Come with us,’ the bat pony repeats.

‘I believe you are required to read me a list of charges,’ James states nervously.

‘You are not under arrest. We need your assistance.’ The bat pony gets out a mobile. ‘Director Heartstrings said that you would be arriving at this spot on this time to assist us with a little scientific emergency we’re having right now.’

James’ eye twitches. ‘Director Heartstrings? Lime unicorn obsessed with humans?’

‘He said to inform you that he is her son and to ask for a “high five”, whatever that is.’

‘I’m sort of traveling with a friend. So if you’ll excuse me...’

‘Please!’ the bat pony begs. ‘You must. My sis-, er, commander asked me to enlist your help. You don’t want to upset her. Trust me.’

James sighs and looks back at Twilight Velvet. ‘What about my friend?’

‘She is free to explore the facility. All the labs are public.’

Twilight Velvet puts a hoof on James’ shoulder. ‘I’ll be fine, James. I am having enough fun just getting out and seeing something new.’

James groans, ‘Fine! I’ll go. Lead on, Commander...’

‘Kain,’ Kain replies. ‘I am Commander Kain.’ He turns away. ‘Follow me, Mr Spar- uh, Mr Wanderer.’

The time traveler raises an eyebrow and follows. ‘Out of curiosity, why didn’t you ask the “me” of this time? How about The Doctor?’

Kain snorts. ‘The Doctor is never available when you need him. As for you and your...’

James stops the other stallion. ‘That is too many spoilers at “your”.’

Kain laughs and leads on. A few guards follow. The rest disperse. One gives Twilight Velvet a guest pass before she leaves. The unicorn looks at her pass, laughs and begins to explore the building.

After hours trotting through a futuristic laboratory, Twilight Velvet is getting bored. Even the automatic doors are not as novel as they first seemed. The mare is currently exploring a biomagical facility, looking at the various experiments. She sighs and examines the nearest workstation. There are no scientists around so she cannot ask about the experiment going on. She taps a vial of glowing purple liquid.

‘Chronometric rejuvenation,’ she reads. ‘What the hell does that mean?’

She lifts the vial to examine it closer. The facility intercom crackles.

Uh, hey, this is tech support, James says, earning a laugh from Twilight Velvet. We’re going to be experiencing some, uh, minor turbulence. Please keep all hooves and legs inside the building and hold tight. ... I hope this works. ... What do you mean, stop pressing the...

The intercom cuts off just as the whole building shakes. Twilight Velvet tries to keep her balance as the laboratory sways. She grunts and looks for a safe place to stand. The building jolts again, causing her to fall. Her grip on the vial fails, and it spills all over the prone mare. She moans as she passes out.
...

Twilight Velvet wakes to James staring at her face. She blushes and covers her face. James takes a deep breath and hugs her.

‘You’re fine,’ the stallion sighs. ‘Twilight would have killed me if anything else happened to you.’

‘Of course, I’m fine,’ Velvet assures. ‘I just had a little fall when you were doing what you were doing.’

James lets go and looks at Kain. ‘Is there a way to fix this?’

‘Fix what?’ Velvet asks, standing. ‘I told you I am fine.’

The mare looks at the two stallions before her. James glares at Kain. The bat pony nervously picks up a nearby plate. The metal surface has been polished to a reflective shine. Twilight Velvet stares at it for several moments before she realizes it. She is looking at a younger version of herself. She looks no older than her daughter.

The suddenly-young mare stares at her reflection in shock. ‘Well, I don’t know how we’re going to explain this to Night Light.’

Twilight Sparkle sings to herself as she does some paperwork at the end of the day. There is a knock at the door as James enters. Twilight looks up from her work and smiles.

‘How was your adventure with my mom?’ she asks. ‘I hope she wasn’t too upset that I couldn’t make it.’

‘First of all, time machine. I can have you back in time for tea.’

Twilight groans and rolls her eyes.

‘Anyway, we had a good time. Showed off the future to her a bit.’

‘Sounds fun.’

‘I guess. I got roped into helping solve a little science emergency. Seems like they had a cross-dimensional encounter recently and were having an aftershock.’

Twilight stares in shock.

‘Don’t worry. With Discord’s chaos powers bending quantum mechanics to our will, we were able to save the future.’

Twilight laughs. ‘Well, now I am jealous that I didn’t see that.’

James smiles and kisses his fiancee. ‘Oh, and your mom got exposed to a biomagical chemical that caused her age to regress to about as old you.’

‘WHAT!’

‘So, are you and Spike coming over for dinner or am I bringing Del over here after she is done playing with her friends?’

‘What was that about my mom?’

‘She’s fine! Now, about dinner...’

Twilight glares at her fiance, her wings flared in anger.

‘So, uh, trip to Canterlot?’

Twilight Velvet sighs and holds her head as she looks at her husband. Night Light stares at his wife in shock, mouth gaping. The drink he was pouring for himself has stopped filling as the bottle empties on the floor. A door opens elsewhere in the house and Twilight gallops into the room. She stops and stares at her mother. James calmly trots after his fiancee.

‘Mom?!’ Twilight gapes.

‘Hi, dear,’ Velvet sighs. ‘Will one of you get me a mop? Your father just spilled his drink.’

‘What happened to you, mom?’

‘Oh, this?’ Velvet looks at her body. ‘Just a little accident. Unfortunately, a reversal spell hadn’t been developed yet. Or is it won’t be developed yet?’

‘Not important!’

Velvet snorts at her daughter. ‘Anyway, I am stuck like this.’ She giggles. ‘I guess we can finally share clothes like I always wanted. Oh! You’re going to have to ask your friend to come over and alter some things for me. I was, er, am a lot slimmer when I was, no, now am in my twenties again.’

‘But, mom, you’re, I mean... Daddy! Say something!’

James reaches out a hoof and taps Night Light. He gets no reaction. ‘He’s dead.’

‘My wife’s a kid,’ Night Light mumbles.

‘Or not,’ James corrects. ‘Physicist, not physician.’

Twilight Velvet sighs and reaches towards her husband. ‘Dear, calm down. Drink the rug if you have to. That’s where most of your drink ended up.’

Night Light blinks a few times, levitates the rug above him and rings it out into his mouth. He takes a deep breath and looks at his wife. ‘Okay. Now, what happened?

Twilight Velvet also takes a deep breath and explains what happened to her husband and daughter.

Twilight Velvet sighs as she sets up for her next class. Teaching is more frustrating with her younger body. She had to explain her accident to all of her colleagues. Then explain it to all the administrators. And again to each of her classes. It is getting annoying having to repeat the same thing constantly. She should be able to send one email about everything and be done with it.

She takes some relief that her younger self has a few perks. The young stallions now open doors for her and offer to help carry her teaching supplies more often. She has caught more than a few young mares checking their makeup in an effort to return their coltfriend’s affections to themselves. Best of all, rumors of a new, ‘hot’ teacher all seem to fit her description.

With preparations complete, Twilight Velvet turns to her class. ‘Welcome back to Magic History,’ she greets. ‘I had a little accident with an age spell this weekend. If you don’t mind your professor being the same age, or younger, than most of you, we can continue. If my age is too much of an issue, I have talked with my dean and you will be compensated for dropping the class. So, if you don’t have any questions, let us continue from where we left off.’

A student raises a hoof.

‘Yes?’

‘Where are your wings?’ the student asks.

‘What?’

‘This is the Twilight Sparkle lecture, right?’

Twilight Velvet glares. ‘I am your teacher. Professor Twilight Velvet. You can tell because of my colors.’

‘Are you Twilight Sparkle’s sister?’

‘I’m her mother! I just said I had an accident with an age spell.’

‘Oh. Okay. Because you two could be, like, twins. Really hot twins.’

Twilight Velvet huffs and begins her lecture.

The de-aged mare returns home in a sour mood. The young... the other young ponies did not make teaching easy. Too many young stallions hit on her. Too many young mares made catty comments behind her back. It sucks being young again.

Twilight Velvet trots into the lounge where her husband is working. She climbs up into his lap and nuzzles his chest. ‘You will not believe the day I had.’

‘Uh, dear...’ Night Light says, looking down.

‘Yes?’ She looks up at her husband.

‘I think we have a problem...’

Twilight Velvet looks around. Everything seems smaller. She looks at her body. She is the size of a teenage filly.

‘Okay. This is getting wacky.’

Twilight and Spike are at The Power Block for dinner and wedding planning. The young dragon plays with Del while the adults work on their plans. Twilight’s mobile rings.

‘Hello?’ she answers. ‘What?! ... She what?! ... We’re on our way! We’ll meet you at the library.’

‘What happened?’ James asks.

‘Apparently, mom is still getting younger. The spell hasn’t worn off yet. We have to find a counterspell before it is too late.’

‘I’ll have us there in ten minutes ago.’

The adults go to the TARDIS. They stop and turn back to the home.

‘Del, you’re in charge.’ ‘Spike, you’re in charge.’ The adults say in unison. They look at each other then at a nearby perch. ‘Owlowiscious, you’re in charge.’

‘Hoo,’ the owl replies.

The filly and dragon groan as the adults leave.

Twilight Sparkle and Night Light gallop around the royal library. Books and scrolls fly everywhere as they look for age spells. Twilight Velvet sits on a table, looking at the books. She is about the size of Del.

‘Is all this rush really necessary?’ the filly asks.

‘Dear, you left for work the same age as Twilight,’ Night Light starts.

‘Now, you’re about as old as my stepdaughter,’ Twilight finishes.

Night Light looks at his daughter. ‘Really?’

‘Del wanted a mom, and I agreed, but that isn’t important right now.’

Velvet flips through a book, looking at the spells. ‘What about James? Is he finding a technological solution?’

Twilight stops and sets a pile of books on the table. ‘He is trying to find if they ever developed an antidote or control mechanism to the biomagical spell afflicting you. But he might not get very far.’

‘You mean they won’t let him take the solution to the past?’ Night Light asks, reading a scroll.

‘No, he probably won’t get too much further in the future than where they went initially.’

‘Why is that? He has a time machine.’

Twilight takes a deep breath. ‘The laws of time aren’t that simple. Once you are locked into an “event”, then you cannot easily leave the time periods encountered in the event or go to new ones. He might not get much further than a day or so in the future.’

Night Light looks up from three books. ‘How do you know all of that?’

‘Dad, I’m marrying a time traveling alien. This is day one stuff in my life now.’

‘Touche.’

Commander Kain heads to an office to turn in his report on the dimensional realignment. He reaches to knock on his commander’s door when he is grabbed and forced against the wall.

‘You knew this was going to happen, didn’t you?’ James accuses. ‘You and Heartstrings used records from the past to set everything up so that Velvet would get the spell cast on her. You have a cure, don’t you?’

‘We legitimately needed your help!’ Kain defends. ‘Y-yes, we knew what would happen to Twilight Velvet. Sh-she was the one who created the spell, too.’

‘Then she doesn’t regress to prebirth... so there must be a solution. Tell me!’

‘I don’t know it! I swear!’

There is a click as the office door opens. James releases the other stallion.

‘Looks like we’re getting some progress.’

Kain groans and fixes his armor. ‘Of course, she’ll see you. She likes you more than me...’

James looks back at Kain as he enters the office. He turns to face the bat pony’s commanding officer. A tall, skinny yellow-grey bat pony mare with a long pink-purple mane sits at her desk, which has a small plush rabbit and a plush Zorua sitting on it. She smiles kindly at the time traveler.

‘It is wonderful to see you too,’ James greets.

Twilight and her father read as many books at once as they can. Not one spell they find can permanently restore Twilight Velvet. The princess uses one spell to restore her mother back to a filly, but Twilight Velvet quickly starts de-aging again. The studying ponies look up hopefully when they hear the TARDIS materializing.

James trots over and takes a deep breath. ‘I have some good news and some bad news.’

‘You have a cure. What is the bad?’ Night Light asks.

‘To reverse the spell, we combine any age spell you found with the TARDIS’ transmat. That should restore her, somewhat.’

‘Somewhat?’

‘You see, I would have to use the last image of her in the TARDIS’ scan buffer. She would be restored to the same age as Twilight.’

‘I don’t care if she is kept at the age she is now!’ Night Light replies. ‘I just want my wife to be safe again!’

Filly Twilight Velvet sighs. ‘Well, I’ll get another thirty years added back to my counter...’

‘What do you need us to do?’ Twilight asks.

James sighs. ‘Just pick your favorite age spell and start casting. Both of you. When I’m ready, I’ll do the rest.’

James gallops to the TARDIS. Twilight levitates her mother to the floor. Velvet smiles and nods at her husband and daughter. Night Light and Twilight charge spells on their horns and cast their age spells on Twilight Velvet. The filly starts slowly changing back into a mare. A beam of light appears around Twilight Velvet, and she dissolves into the air. Twilight immediately gallops to the TARDIS, with Night Light close behind. They burst through the doors to see James helping Twilight Velvet to her hooves. The mare is her daughter’s age again. Night Light pushes forward and hugs his wife.

‘She should be fine now,’ James says. ‘There isn’t any trace of the biomagical chemical in her system.’

‘I’m just glad to have her back,’ Night Light sighs. He lets go of his wife and bonks James on the head. ‘Don’t ever let this happen again. ... Thank you.’

‘Even if we weren’t family, it was no trouble at all.’

Twilight Velvet stretches her young mare body. ‘Feels good to be back to normal.’ She checks her back. ‘What? No wings?’

‘You don’t have wings, mom,’ Twilight sighs.

‘Well, after all my students saying we could be twins, I just wanted to make that true.’

The younger (relatively speaking) mare groans. ‘I am not looking forward to that lecture.’

‘Hey, let’s go out to celebrate and relax,’ James suggests. ‘Double-Doubles on me.’

The group is instantly teleported to the nearest In-N-Out. Celestia and Luna are waiting for them in their Amy and Selene disguises.

‘Best idea you have had all day, Mr Wanderer,’ Amy states.

Selene adjusts her glasses perception filter as she examines the menu. ‘What is the largest size Neopolitan shake I can order?’ she asks the cashier.

Twilight Velvet joins her husband in line. ‘Don’t worry, dear. I won’t eat like a twenty year old.’

Night Light scans the menu. ‘That makes one of us.’

James and Twilight sigh and join their friends and family at the counter.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: Twilight says she is Del's stepmother.

Story Timeline: Twilight Velvet is de-aged to the same age as her daughter.

To those who read The Master Game/Starlight Chronicles first: Yes, it is them. If you want to talk about it, please have some courtesy for those who haven't gotten there yet.

PS: I'm an owl.

A Rocky Road

Main Characters: Pinkie, Blinkie, Inkie, Rei, Image
Cameos: Mayor Mare, Twilight, TWP, Del, Stormy, Daring
Original Start Date: June 1, 2013

Pinkie and Inkie trot through Ponyville. Rei hovers above them.

‘So, where are we going?’ Rei asks.

‘Town hall!’ Pinkie replies. ‘There’s a new pony in town for me to greet.’

‘The mayor is putting a stone roadway around the town hall,’ Inkie explains. ‘She is meeting with the mason now, but she asked me to help with the surveying and construction.’

Rei hugs her fillyfriend. ‘That is so neato! Inkie is a big-time government contractor now!’

‘It-it isn’t that big of a deal.’

‘Yep! Inkie is a big deal now,’ Pinkie cheers. ‘I’m so proud of my little sister.’

Inkie blushes and giggles. The group nears the town hall. The mayor and a young grey-purple mare trot out of the building. They are talking about the upcoming project. Pinkie and Inkie see the other mare and halt. They glare at the new pony.

‘Oh!’ Mayor Mare gasps. ‘What good timing. Here is our local geophysicist, and I assume Miss Pinkie has planned a party for you.’

‘Party’s canceled,’ Pinkie growls.

‘I wouldn’t go if it weren’t,’ the new mare spits.

‘Do you know each other?’ Rei asks.

‘You know how Inkie is my lovely little sister?’ Pinkie replies. She gets nods. ‘Well, this is our stupid little sister, Blinkie.’

‘Good to see you, too, Pinkie,’ Blinkie snorts.

‘Just give us the plans and material lists and leave,’ Inkie growls.

‘You think you can handle the construction? You’re a delicate scientist. You’re too afraid to get your hooves dirty.’

‘I work with the farmers in their fields every day. I’m surprised to see you off the rock farm, but I guess you have to unlatch yourself from mom’s teats sometime.’

Inkie holds up a hoof and Pinkie bumps it.

‘Whatever,’ Blinkie scoffs. ‘At least I’m not a sick pervert. I am disgusted to be related to both of you.’

‘You can’t be upset with the way we were born,’ Pinkie growls. ‘We don’t judge you for being a big, stupid meanie-face!’

Blinkie turns her nose up. ‘I’m going back to my hotel room to plan the project. Do your best not to interfere.’

‘Like we would even want to see you anyway,’ Inkie shoots back.

The sisters all snort and trot off in different directions. Rei looks around and flies after Inkie.

Rei watches her fillyfriend pace around her apartment. She has never seen Inkie so upset.

‘I can’t believe the mayor was stupid enough to hire her!’ Inkie raves. ‘If they were going to hire anypony from the farm, it should have been mom. At least she has a brain!’

Rei frowns. ‘Why don’t you like your sister?’

‘No, no, no. I don’t dislike her,’ Inkie corrects.

‘Phew. That good to he-’

‘I HATE her!’

Rei whimpers and cowers. Inkie stops her pacing. She notices her fillyfriend trying to look smaller than she already is.

Inkie goes to Rei. ‘Oh! I’m sorry. I don’t mean to scare you.’

Rei steps back. ‘B-b-but, how can you hate your sister? I could never hate any of my sisters, even if they were mean to me.’

Inkie sits near Rei. ‘When Pinkie and I went home for Hearth’s Warming, I was asked about the bracelet you gave me after prom.’ She holds up her leg, showing off her bracelet. ‘I told them all about you and how you had’ -- she smiles -- ‘almost, sorta, maybe, kinda proposed to me.’ She frowns. ‘Mom and dad were happy for me, but Blinkie started yelling and scolding me for loving a mare. It really hurt. Pinkie tried defending me and said she also loves Twilight. Blinkie started shouting at her too. We were very hurt and pissed, so we left that night. I guess Blinkie still hates us for being who we are.’

Rei hugs her fillyfriend. ‘I’m sorry she is so mean, but you shouldn’t hate her. Even though she is a big, stupid meanie, she is still your sister.’

Inkie sighs, ‘I know, Rei. I know. I’ll forgive her one day.’ She nuzzles Rei’s cheek. ‘Will you stay with me tonight? It will help me calm down.’

‘Anything for my lovely almost, sorta, maybe, fiancee.’

Inkie laughs and cuddles against Rei.

Pinkie buries her head under a pillow and cries. Her limp mane sticks out from under the pillow. A brown hoof hugs around her neck while a purple wing reaches over the mare.

‘That is so sad to hear,’ Twilight soothes. ‘I can’t believe your sister would say those sorts of things.’

‘She’s a big, stupid meanie,’ Pinkie sobs.

‘Maybe she is a changeling,’ James suggests. ‘It is hard to believe anypony in your family would be bigoted.’

Pinkie whines again. ‘She isn’t a changeling... but don’t take Del around her. Celestia only knows how she would react.’

‘Old prejudices die hard,’ Twilight sighs. ‘They are so rare to see these days, but I never thought one would hit so close to the ones I love the most.’

‘I don’t know what went wrong with her,’ Pinkie whimpers. ‘She used to be so fun. We got along great and played so many games together. She never acted like this before.’

‘Want Twilight to go back to the library and get the Elements? Give her a little Nightmare Moon-style purification?’

‘James!’ Twilight snaps.

‘Uh huh,’ Pinkie agrees.

‘Pinkie!’ Twilight snorts. ‘The Elements of Harmony are not a toy. Furthermore, they cannot and should not be used on normal ponies. The energy unleashed could destroy her.’

Pinkie groans. She looks at the stallion beside her. ‘Does Del know any changeling mind control spells?’

‘Pinkie!’ Twilight snaps again. She sighs. ‘Actually, she doesn’t know any magic besides her transformation spell. I’ve been trying to teach her some simple spells, though.’

Pinkie scowls. ‘Okay... Know any alien mind control techniques, James?’

‘Well, I have been practicing one I call “mind control number 137”. What I need you and Twilight to do is...’

Twilight flicks her wing and knocks James off the bed. He laughs as he climbs back in with the mares he loves.

Blinkie sits on her bed. She holds her mobile to her ear.

‘Why did you send me on this job, mother?’ the young mare demands. ‘You knew they would they would be here, didn’t you? … They are sick and wrong! As far as I care, I don’t have any sisters! … Shut up! I’m just going to do my job and come home as soon as possible. … If you wanted to see them, you should have come instead. … Put dad on. … Hi, dad. Mom says that... … I hate them! Stop treating them like... Dad? Are you there? Dad?’

Blinkie hangs up her mobile. She falls into her pillow and screams.

Stormy trots up the stairs to Rei’s home. He almost spits out his coffee when he sees several ponies sitting around the table having breakfast. Rei sets a plate of eggs in front of Del before sitting by Inkie. The young mares dine on some pancakes. Image Crystal stares at the stack of pancakes placed in front of him. He does not eat, having already had breakfast before coming over.

‘Help?’ he asks the new arrival.

‘Rei, I need to see your dad,’ Stormy says. ‘I think I fell into the dimension where you actually get up on time.’

Rei frowns at her friend. ‘I’m here for Inkie. She has a tough day ahead, and I want her to be as prepared as possible.’

‘Okay.’ Stormy sips his coffee. ‘And what’s your story?’ he asks Del.

Del yawns, exposing rows of sharp teeth. ‘Miss Pinkie came over last night with Sparkly Mommy. I kept watching them to hopefully see the three-pony things they keep talking about. They just talked about love and boring stuff all night long. I’m so sleepy.’

The changeling yawns again then shoves the plate of eggs into her mouth.

Stormy nods. ‘Image?’

‘I won the design contest for the new walkway. I was just seeing if Inkie was around.’ He looks up. ‘I already ate. Want some?’

Del climbs on the table and takes a bite of Image’s stack of pancakes. She collapses but keeps munching away. Inkie finishes breakfast and gets up.

‘Give me a moment to get ready, then we can head out.’
…

Inkie and her friends trot through Ponyville towards town hall. Stormy hangs back and sips his coffee. Image carries his saddlebag full of art supplies on his back.

‘So, uh, what is the mason like?’ the artist asks.

‘She used to be nice until she took an arrow to the reason center of the brain,’ Inkie growls.

Stormy rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t know what is worse: the anger or the stupid reference.’

Inkie turns and growls at the unicorn. Image looks up at Rei.

‘Sorry,’ Rei apologizes.‘We didn’t really talk. I only know what Inkie-chan has told me.’

Image sighs. ‘I hope we get along. I really don’t want my design to be compromised.’

‘What did you submit?’ Stormy asks.

‘Well, because the Elements of Harmony were united here, I did a compass design with each of their cutie marks on the points,’ the artist explains.

‘Where’d you put mommy?’ Rei asks.

Image gets the design out of his bag and gives it to Rei.

‘Okay...’ Rei studies the drawing. ‘Step-mommy on top. Birth mommy on the side. Why is mommy-mommy on the bottom?’

Image looks up. ‘It has to do with the size and shape of each of the the cutie marks. I added Celestia and Luna for balance. Since here are two of each tribe, I put one of each above and below the princesses. It just worked out that Fluttershy was on the bottom left.’

‘It would have been fun if all my mommies were together.’

‘I can talk to Rarity if you and the mason want to use real gems in her mark,’ Stormy offers.

‘Let’s see what the mason says first,’ Image laughs.

‘Probably call you a pervert and want to chop your head off,’ Inkie grumbles.

Image whimpers.

‘Which one?’ Stormy asks.

Inkie looks disgusted, but she notices Image’s uncomfortableness. She smirks. ‘Well, she might do one then the other to stop the screaming.’

Rei catches Image as the young stallion faints. The others laugh at their friend. The joviality ends when they reach the town center. Blinkie stands at a podium and looks at the plans. Inkie growls and trots forward. Her sister looks up, snorts and goes back to the plans.

‘Listen, I am willing to be the bigger mare,’ Inkie huffs. ‘I’m willing to put your stupidity aside for the project.’

‘Fine,’ Blinkie snorts. ‘Just don’t touch me. I don’t want to catch your degenerate lifestyle.’

‘I was born the way I was, just like you were born the way you were. This stupidity of yours is self-imposed.’

‘You are going against nature!’

‘Same-sex unicorns have been using magic to have children for years. It is only a matter of time before same-sex couples of all tribes can have children.’

Blinkie looks sick. ‘If that happens, I’ll kill myself.’

Inkie holds back a scream. ‘Let’s just get this over with so I can never see you again.’

‘Fine, but we have to wait for the artist. I have some questions about his design.’

Inkie turns and waves her friends over. Stormy and Rei carry Image to the podium.

Blinkie gasps. ‘He’s so handsome!’

‘I get that a lot,’ Stormy groans. ‘I already have a fillyfr-’

‘Not you. Him.’ The young mare goes to Image and extends a hoof. ‘Hi, I’m Blinkie Pie. What’s your name?’

Rei shakes her friend. ‘He’s dead.’

Image moans as he wakes up.

‘Or not. I’m just Inkie’s lovely love, not a doctor.’

‘Whatever.’ Blinkie slinks up to Image. ‘Great to meet you.’

Image blushes. ‘Y-yeah. Good to see you too. Are you the mason?’

‘I’m Blinkie Pie, but you can call me anytime.’

‘I-in full disclosure, m-my last fillyfriend...’

‘Isn’t here and dumped him on Hearts and Hooves,’ Stormy finishes. ‘Doesn’t that make him worth your pity?’

‘Shut up, fancy pants,’ Blinkie snorts. She turns back to Image. ‘So... Do you ever need a model, Mr Artist? I can take any position you put me in.’

Image squeaks and tries to reply.

‘Blinkie!’ Inkie snaps. ‘You’re a year younger than me!’

‘Shut up, pervert!’

‘Hypocrite!’

‘Hussy!’

‘Sl-!’

Rei hits Inkie before she can finish. ‘She might not like how we were born, but you never call you sister that.’ The short pegasus growls at the tall earth pony. She turns to Blinkie and smiles. ‘Image was telling us that he wanted talk with you about the plans. There is a nice coffee shop near here where you can work everything out. Inkie will be at my shop all day when you are ready to see her again.’ She gives Blinkie a business card and keeps her hoof out expecting one in return.

Blinkie is a little surprised by Rei behaviour, especially the defense she offered.‘Y-you own a shop?’

Rei nods. ‘Yep! And since you are Inkie’s family, I’ll even give you one free item.’

‘Th-thanks.’

The pegasus turns Blinkie and Image towards the coffee shop and pushes them forward. ‘Now, go help make Ponyville the best town it can possibly be.’

The two ponies are stunned. They look back, then at each other. They smile and go to the shop to get to know each other.

‘Rei, what are you planning?’ Inkie asks.

Rei cackles and trots towards her shop. Inkie follows.

Stormy uses his magic to enter notes into his mobile. ‘When her dad hears about this, he’ll be proud.’ He sighs and finishes his coffee. ‘Just wish I was the one who did it.’

‘Blinkie and Image?!’ Pinkie stares at Rei and Inkie incredulously.

‘I know. It is weird, right?’ Inkie agrees.

‘I know! It totally works out, right?’ Rei cheers.

The sisters look at the pegasus. She smiles and giggles. The sisters sigh. The shop door opens.

‘Konnichiwa!’ Rei greets.

‘Uh, whatever,’ Blinkie replies. She sees her sisters and scowls. ‘I’m just here to drop off the plans.’

The young mare sets a scroll on the counter and turns. Before she can leave, Rei blocks her path.

‘You can’t go yet,’ the pegasus chirps. ‘You haven’t gotten your free item yet.’

Blinkie groans. ‘Fine.’ She looks around the shop and gets a small box. ‘Here. I’ll take this candy. I guess.’

‘Ah!’ Rei whines. ‘That is so tiny. You should get something cool!’ She gets out a box of graphic novels. ‘Here! I figured you’d be humble and picked out something you might enjoy.’

‘Th-thank you.’ Blinkie takes the box. She glances back at Inkie. ‘Image and I want to get started tomorrow. Try not to have too many objections to all my hard work.’

The young mare trots away with her gift. Rei smiles and waves. Once Blinkie is out of sight, Rei smirks, revealing a canine.

‘Okay. What just happened?’ Inkie asks.

‘The comic is a pretty tame SoL story, but it has a number of yuri elements,’ Daring replies as she trots out of the back. ‘We’re tricking her to see your relationship as not that bad of a thing.’

‘How do you know that?’

Daring laughs. ‘We did the same thing to a dean who was like that.’ She smirks. ‘Her catching me in her office in just my underwear helped the cause a bit.’ She thinks a second. ‘Though, I don’t remember what happened to the student I was with.’ She thinks harder. ‘I seem to remember him making dean’s list, which is odd since he didn’t have the best of grades.’

Inkie facehoofs and shakes her head. Rei and Pinkie nod along with the story.

The pegasus sighs. ‘Sixty years and still about one in a hundred like that. Sorry your sis is like that.’ She raises a hoof. ‘We will cure her! Mark my words!’

Inkie’s eye twitches. ‘Thanks, Daring.’

Pinkie grabs the other mare in a hug. ‘Daring is so kind! Save her! Save my darling sister Blinkie!’

Rei joins the hug. ‘We swear to return Blinkie to you.’ She waves her fillyfriend over.

Inkie groans and joins the hug. There is a bright flash.

‘Ha!’ Flitter laughs. ‘And they said working here wasn’t like working the weather service.’ She raises her mobile camera. ‘Now kiss and make it complete.’

Blinkie lays on her bed and smiles. She has her mobile at her ear while she holds one of her new graphic novels over her.

‘Hello, mother. It is me again. … No, I am not calling to complain again. … Well, I met a nice colt today.’ She giggles. ‘Even better, he is the artist on the project so I get to see him everyday! … What? Y-yes, I know I still have a job to do. S-seeing Image all the time is just an added bonus. … What do you mean “Is he cute?”! What does it matter that he is so handsome! … Mother! … We haven’t started yet. I spent the whole day with Image working out the artistic details. It is going to look wonderful if Inkie doesn’t screw everything up. … Well, uh, she d-did want to just work when we met this morning... I didn’t talk with her when I dropped of the plans earlier. Her’ -- she shudders -- ‘fillyfriend made me take something from her shop. … Well, it looked like an import shop of some sort. … Yeah, I didn’t know they had one this far out either. … Well, I tried just getting a box of candy, but she made me take a whole box of comics instead. … I don’t know. I guess they are okay. Oh, you should totally go to the shop. She said I got the gift because I am Inkie’s sister. I bet she would give you something too. … Maybe. I’ll check tomorrow. … She seems nice, but that doesn’t excuse her for being a freak. … But!’ She takes a deep breath. ‘Fine. Whatever. Can you put dad on? I want to tell him about Image.’

Blinkie hums and keeps reading while she waits for her father.

Inkie looks over Blinkie’s plans. She makes a few small notes and sits back. Rei sets a small dinner in front of her fillyfriend before digging into the large dinner she made for herself.

‘How’s it look?’ Rei asks, taking a bite of her meal.

‘Flawless, as usual,’ Inkie sighs. ‘Blinkie has a knack for masonry and stonework. There are a few small details I want to go over with her, but everything seems to be in order.’

‘That’s good! How about the other front?’

‘What other front?’

‘The “Inkie-chan really loves her sister” front.’

Inkie looks away. ‘I... I don’t really hate her. I just hate the way she is thinking.’ She sighs. ‘Pinkie and I do admire her. She is definitely the best rock farmer of us. Remember when we were in the game illusion?’

Rei nods. ‘I was chased by birds. I’m still wary of them.’

Inkie laughs. ‘I told you about how I kicked through the rock. I was actually channeling Blinkie. I can do a super kick like that, but not with the skill and precision she has. She could have kicked that boulder in to cobble.’

‘Sugoi.’

Inkie sighs. ‘How do you think it is going?’

Rei shrugs. ‘We’ll see. You’ll see her tomorrow, right? You’ll know sooner than I will.’

Inkie sighs and eats her dinner. ‘Too bad you can’t cook for her. I’d do anything for this cooking.’

‘Anything, you say?’

The young mares giggle and eat their dinner.

The center of town is filled with ponies working construction. Blinkie directs some workers then goes to a workstation set up at town hall. Inkie looks over the plans.

‘Glad to see you are not screwing everything up,’ Blinkie snorts.

‘You have everything well in hoof,’ Inkie replies. ‘I do have a couple small concerns, though.’

Her sister rolls her eyes. ‘Here we go...’

‘First, we are laying the stones into the roadway. Won’t that ruin the designs quicker and track more dirt over them?’

‘Better than having to wipe your hooves or step up every single time a pony wants to use it.’

‘Hmm. I guess I just don’t want our sister’s cutie mark to get ruined.’

‘The mayor has assured me that the upkeep of the square will be top notch. We have nothing to worry about.’

‘That’s good.’ Inkie looks at the plans then at the supply of stones. ‘I take it the colored stones have yet to arrive.’

‘Image is working on that as we speak. He said that he can make a special paint that will make the stones glow slightly and protect them from long-term damage.’

Inkie trots away. ‘I’m going to stop him before he makes himself sterile.’

Blinkie smirks. ‘Sterile, eh? More sex without me worrying.’

‘Blinkie!’ her sister snaps. ‘You are a year younger than me!’

‘If you haven’t done it by now, then you have a lot of catching up to do.’

‘Blinkie!’ Inkie sees her sister’s playful smile. ‘You’re joking, aren’t you?’

Blinkie laughs. ‘Sorry. I keep forgetting that you don’t have much normal school experience.’ She sighs. ‘Heck. I don’t really either with all the home schooling.’

‘Yeah, but you still saw other ponies more than I did. It was just luck our parents sent me instead.’

‘You were more qualified.’ She smiles. ‘And you met Rei too.’

‘Yeah. That was was great.’ She laughs and looks at her sister. ‘I should go check on Image. We’ll be back in a bit.’

‘Take your time.’ Blinkie looks over the construction site. ‘We’ll be here for a while.’

‘Konnichiwa!’ Rei cheers as Blinkie enters Neighponese Imports.

‘Um, hey,’ the young mare replies. ‘Um, my mom asked me if you had some products she might be interested in.’

‘Whatcha looking for, Blinkie-chan?’

‘Well, mom likes collecting stoneware from around the world. She doesn’t get to cities other than Hoofington often, and all they have are stuff from Canida.’

‘We have lots of stuff from Neighpon, Equina, Inucheon, Mongrolia...’

‘I’ll get you a sampling,’ Daring interrupts as she heads to the back of the store.

‘Was that..?’

Daring turns back. ‘I’ll sign anywhere you want.’ She winks. ‘I’ll even kiss it afterward.’

Blinkie blushes bright red. The pegasus laughs and starts getting some stoneware for her customer. Blinkie collects herself and looks at Rei. The young pegasus smiles widely.

‘So, where are you and Image-kun going for dinner?’ Rei asks.

‘What?’

‘You’re not going out on a date?’

The younger mare blushes again. ‘W-we should...’

‘You should go to the fancy place! It is the best for date times!’

‘F-fancy?! I don’t think I can afford it. Mom won’t let me write it off as a business expense...’

‘I’ll treat!’ Rei smiles. ‘It can be a double date! Blinkie-chan and Image-kun and Rei-chan and Inkie-chan! It will be fun!’

‘I don’t kn-’

‘Great! We’ll pick you up at six! Be hungry!’

Blinkie sighs, looks down and shakes her head. When she looks up, Rei has been replaced by Daring laying out stoneware like a bazaar display.

‘Step right up for all your stoneware needs!’ Daring announces. ‘You, young filly. You look like a pony who enjoys the finer things.’

Blinkie groans as Daring puts on her show.

Image gets the chairs for each of the young mares. Blinkie blushes as she is helped. The young stallion grunts as he finally sits. A puffy pink mane can be seen at another table. Inkie looks over the menu.

‘Might try something different this time...’ She looks at her fillyfriend. ‘The usual for you?’

‘Yep!’

‘So, uh, what is good here?’ Blinkie asks.

‘I have no idea. I could never afford it...’ Image replies.

‘Try anything,’ Inkie recommends. ‘It is all good.’

‘That is what I am having!’ Rei adds.

The others give her a confused look until the waiter trots up. He sets a plate of pasta in front of the pegasus.

‘May I get any of you a drink or an appetizer?’

‘The usual,’ Inkie replies. She looks at the others. ‘Get whatever you want.’

Rei looks up from her first dish. ‘Cherry cola, please!’

‘Just, uh, water for me,’ Blinkie replies.

‘S-same,’ Image agrees.

‘And an order of gnocchi for the table,’ Inkie adds.

‘Very good. I’ll be back with your drinks in a moment.’

Rei finishes her plate and looks up. She licks the sauce from her face.

Inkie sighs, ‘You missed a spot.’

‘Where?’

Inkie leans in and licks Rei’s cheek. ‘There.’ She licks again. ‘And there.’ She gives Rei a kiss on the lips. ‘And there.’

Blinkie stares in shock. She does not know how to react. Rei kisses her fillyfriend again then turns away to start on her next dish before the waiter can even set it down. Across the restaurant, Pinkie laughs at her sisters before turning to her meal.

‘It is good to see them getting along,’ the mare comments.

‘Uh huh,’ James replies eating. ‘So cute.’

The stallion looks up from his plate. He ponders raiding a plate set at a third place at the table

Pinkie smiles coyly. ‘Missed a spot.’

‘Where?’

The mare tips the stallion’s plate a bite, getting some sauce in his lap. ‘There. Let me get it for you.’

Pinkie slips under the table, but she is instantly pulled out, wrapped in a purple aura.

‘Pinkie!’ Twilight scolds, trotting back to the table. She growls at her friend. ‘I’ll take care of it.’

The stallion squeaks as the mares start fighting over him.

Inkie trots around the construction site. The stonework is going smoothly. The outer perimeter was installed the day before, and the workers have started on the cutie marks. Image recruited a couple of artist friends to help coat the stones. Inkie reaches town hall. Blinkie stares at Image and sighs blissfully.

‘Did you two have a good time last night?’ the older sister asks. She gets no reply. ‘Hello! Equestria to Blinkie!’

‘What?!’ Blinkie snaps to attention. ‘I’m here.’

‘Lost in your own little world.’

‘Sorry. It is just...’

Inkie smiles. ‘I know how it is. Rei and I were like that at first. It only gets better.’

‘You and Rei... Right...’ Blinkie takes a deep breath and trots away. ‘Can you handle things here? There is something I need to take care of.’

‘Sure. Don’t be too long.’

Blinkie nods and gallops away.

The next day, Pinkie and Inkie trot through the hotel Blinkie is staying at.

‘I wonder why we are here,’ Pinkie wonders.

‘I don’t know,’ Inkie replies. ‘She just ran off yesterday and never came back, then we got the call this morning.’

They reach the room, and Pinkie knocks.

‘It’s open!’ Blinkie shouts.

The sisters shrug and push the door open. Two wrapped boxes sit on the bed. A third sits on the floor. Pinkie tentatively taps the one of the floor with a hoof. The box falls over, and Blinkie spills out.

‘You will not believe how hard it is fitting in one of those!’ the young mare pants.

‘You just have to bend your legs the right way,’ Pinkie replies.

‘So, uh, why did you invite us here?’ Inkie asks.

Blinkie sighs and looks away. ‘I wanted to apologize. I even got you gifts.’

The younger sister nods to the bed. The older sisters investigate. Inkie opens her box and gasps at a rock inside. Pinkie raises an eyebrow at a falling-apart cake.

‘Th-that was the best I could do,’ Blinkie tells her oldest sister. ‘Took all day and made a huge mess of the hotel kitchen.’ She frowns. ‘Sorry that it is not that good...’

Pinkie eats the whole cake in one bite. ‘Yum! That was delicious! Even better knowing you made it.’

‘You really like it?’

‘Uh huh.’ Pinkie’s stomach gurgles. ‘Excuse me for an unrelated reason now.’

Blinkie looks at her other sister who is gaping at the rock.

‘I, uh, found that on the farm a while ago,’ Blinkie explains. ‘According to mom’s books, it is...’

‘Serpentinite,’ Inkie answers. ‘Mantle rock. Somewhat rare, especially this far inland. This is so cool.’

‘I thought you’d like it.’

There is a flush, and Pinkie trots from the washroom trailing toilet paper on a hoof. ‘Sorry about that. Something I ate disagreed with me. Del might like your cake more than my stomach did.’

‘Del?’ Blinkie asks. ‘You mean the little changeling filly?’

The older sisters stare in shock.

‘What? We employed a few on the farm a while back. A little hard work in exchange for keeping their secret. They’re quite fun, actually.’

‘You don’t freak out about changelings, but same-sex ponies set you off!’ Inkie shouts.

Blinkie shrinks away. ‘That is what I wanted to apologize about. I shouldn’t have been upset with you. It is just...’

Pinkie sits beside her younger sister.

‘You know how I get to go to regular school occasionally? Well, they have their dances and other social events that are really fun. Only...’ Blinkie takes a breath. ‘Since I don’t go often, nopony really knows me too well. I have friends, and that is great but when it comes to dating, I am so alone. Nopony would ask to dance with me, even my friends, some of who I know are into mares or mares and stallions. It just made me really bitter.’ She frowns and looks at Inkie. ‘You could have said you were dating Prince Shining Armor and I still would have yelled at you that day. It was just knowing other mares didn’t want to be with me too... And after we fought, I guess I convinced myself that I was right to be angry, so I stayed mad for no reason...’

‘It is okay, Blinkie,’ Pinkie assures. ‘You got to meet Image, and you’re happy together.’

The younger mare smiles and nods. ‘It is great seeing what this “dating” thing is all about. He’s a wonderful guy too.’

‘And if things don’t work out with him, there are plenty of other fine stallions out there,’ Inkie adds, sitting with her sister.

‘And mares too,’ Blinkie giggles.

The sisters laugh and hug. A laugh comes from behind them. They look and see a pale grey mare standing in the doorway.

‘Most ponies close their doors when they have a private get-together,’ Cloudy Quartz laughs as she joins her daughters.

‘Mother!’ Blinkie gasps. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘How do you think your rock got here so fast?’ The mother sits with her daughters. ‘It is great seeing my girls get along again.’

‘We always got along,’ Pinkie replies. ‘We just forgot how for a bit.’

Cloudy laughs and hugs her daughters. ‘Now, I hate to break us up, but I think two of you have a roadway to finish.’

‘Yes, mom,’ Inkie and Blinkie moan as they leave.

Cloudy helps Pinkie up. ‘And let’s get a party started. I bet you’ve been trying so hard to hold back.’

Pinkie laughs. ‘Thanks, mom. You’ve always been the best.’

Cloudy laughs again. ‘As a wise pony told me when you were all foals, a little understanding goes a long way. Besides, somepony has to keep you to three in line.’

The mother and daughter laugh again and head off to get the party started.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: The Pie sisters reunite. Blinkie starts dating Image. A new roadway is put in around town hall.

Story Event: I've been wanting to use every Pie sister for a long while now. Finding a way to work Blinkie in was hard. I wanted to keep her a rock farmer/geologist like the rest of her family but not have her end up like Inkie. I figure a balance of mason and geologist for the two of them works. If the story (read: TWP as a whole) went on longer, I would have explored the Pie side of Blinkie (and maybe the whole pie family) more. They always seem like they should have super abilities like Pinkie does.

Post Maud Pie: DAMN YOU, LARSON! He didn't write any episodes for season 4 and I'm blaming him for me needing to work Maud into the story. Stay tuned in the sequel...

Changing Perceptions

Main Characters: Del, Diamond Tiara
Cameos: Rainbow Dash, Cheerilee, Mr Rich, Twilight Sparkle, TWP
Original Start Date: May 3, 2013

Del sits at her desk, waiting for class to end. She yawns a big yawn, exposing her fangs to anypony who looks her way. The foals around her giggle at their bored friend. Cheerilee finishes writing on the board and turns to the class.

‘I have a special new project for you,’ Cheerilee announces. ‘We’re going to be learning about all the different species in the world.’

‘Ya mean like ponies and zebras?’ Apple Bloom asks.

‘Correct, but not just them. We will also cover deer, griffins, Diamond Dogs and more.

Scootaloo raises a hoof. ‘Dibs on pegasi!’

‘I call unicorns!’ Sweetie Belle shouts.

‘Ah want unicorns too!’ Apple Bloom says. She blushes. ‘No particular reason.’

‘Good initiative, Apple Bloom,’ Cheerilee compliments. She writes on the board. ‘You get to be one member of the unicorn group. I encourage everypony to volunteer to report on a tribe or species that you are not familiar with.’

Del raises a hoof. ‘Can I report on changelings?’

‘Well, we don’t really know much about them...’ Cheerilee thinks. She smiles. ‘I hope your report can enlighten us about them and hopefully make them seem a little less scary.’

Diamond Tiara groans. ‘Of course, the weirdo wants to report on the monsters. They are both so creepy and gross that they are bound to get along. It is only natural that a loveless pony would want to learn about love-draining monsters.’

Del growls at the pink filly.

‘Diamond Tiara, those are very mean things to say about changelings,’ Cheerilee scolds. ‘They are ponies (I think) just like you and me. In fact, one of their hives was just invited to join the League of Harmony.’ -- Del smiles proudly -- ‘Del is being quite a go-getter for wanting to research changelings. In fact, I’ll let her choose her partner as a reward for being so open-minded.’

Del looks around the class. Truffle Shuffle, Toostie Flute and Shady Daze try to get her attention. She has somepony else in mind.

‘I want to work with Diamond Tiara,’ Del states, grinning evilly.

‘WHAT!’ the other filly screams, rattling windows.

Cheerilee holds her ears in pain. ‘If that is what Del wants...’

Del nods. Her grin exposes her fangs. ‘I think she’ll love learning all about changelings up close and personal.’ -- Cheerilee clears her throat -- ‘Figuratively speaking, of course.’
…

After school, the foals file out and get into their groups to plan their reports. The Cutie Mark Crusaders and Del exit together. Diamond Tiara remains in the schoolhouse to argue about the assignment.

‘Are ya sure ya wanna work with her?’ Apple Bloom asks.

‘Diamond isn’t that bad,’ Scootaloo argues. ‘She just doesn’t like it when she doesn’t get her way.’ She laughs. ‘Just guilt her into doing or saying something she’ll regret, and she’ll be soft, strawberry-scented putty in your hooves.’

Her friends give Scootaloo confused looks. Featherweight flits past.

‘Oh! Catch up with you later.’ Scootaloo flies off. ‘Hey, Featherweight! Wait up, partner!’

Del waves after Scootaloo and turns to her friends. ‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.’

‘You know, she was pretty mean to us before you showed up,’ Sweetie mentions. ‘If you want to drain a little love from...’

Apple Bloom hits her friend in the gut. ‘Jus’ don’ hurt her too bad.’

‘I promise,’ Del swears.

Her friends nod and split to join their groups.

‘Promise to scare the hell out of her,’ Del sneers.

The filly is tapped on the shoulder, causing her to jump. She turns to face Silver Spoon.

‘Please don’t be too harsh on Diamond,’ Silver requests. ‘I know she is a bit bossy and stuck up and and rude at times, but she... Just don’t be too harsh on her.’ She looks around, leans close and whispers. ‘Trick her into doing your research at her home. She gets in a lot of trouble with her dad when she is caught being mean to other ponies.’

Diamond storms out of the schoolhouse, swearing to herself. Cheerilee makes note of everything the filly mutters for a future call to her father. Silver Spoon backs away from Del.

‘And you better be nice to her, understand?’ Silver pretends to warn.

‘Come on, weirdo,’ Diamond growls as she storms past.

Del groans and follows the other filly away. Silver Spoon sighs and goes over to Rumble so they can work on their project.

Diamond Tiara sets her saddlebag on the floor of her bedroom, gets out her tablet and jumps on her bed. Del follows her into the room. She is surprised to find a room pinker than her own. She sighs and sets down her bag.

‘I can’t believe I am stuck doing a report with you,’ Diamond complains. ‘Even worse, we are stuck reporting on those things! I don’t know what is worse: the monsters we have to study or the monster I am stuck with.’ She sighs and jumps off her bed. ‘Want a snack before we start working?’

Diamond turns around to come face to face with a snarling changeling. Del advances with fangs exposed.

‘Del?’

The changeling hisses. Her fangs glint in the light.

‘That is so cool!’ Diamond cheers. ‘Look at you! You look amazing!’

‘You’re not scared of me?’ Del growls.

Diamond fumbles with her tablet. ‘Can I get a picture?

‘What?’

‘Ple~~~~ase!’

‘No! Don’t you know what will happen if somepony found out about me?’

Diamond sighs. ‘Fine...’

Del steps back and growls. ‘What is up with you? You have been saying nothing but mean things to me and about changelings since we met. Now that you see my true form, you are friendly to me!’ She stomps. ‘And ponies think I am weird!’

The other filly starts tapping her tablet. ‘Well, I know I was mean, but I really think changelings are interesting. I mean, I know ponies don’t like them and stuff...’ She turns her tablet around to show a picture of Chrysalis. ‘But their queen is so cool.’ She turns the tablet back. ‘And pretty. I think she gets a bum rap.’

‘Chrysalis?’

Diamond stares at her tablet. ‘I get the feeling she is really kind. She just had to do mean things and hurt others to get things done. Others call her a monster, and she acts that way to fit their expectations.’ She sighs and places a hoof on the screen. ‘I bet she would do anything to give up the act.’

Del frowns and sits by Diamond. ‘Chrysalis adopted me into her hive as her heir. She is like a big sister to me.’

Diamond looks over and smiles at Del. Suddenly, she gasps. ‘I have a great idea!’

‘Why do I get a bad feeling about this?’

‘Do me!’

Del backs away. ‘One: we’re too young. Two: I am not into fillies. Three: we’re too young.’

‘Not like that, you pervert! I mean transform into me.’ She claps her hooves. ‘I want to see your best me impression.

Del groans. She steps to the middle of the room and focuses her magic. Another Diamond Tiara appears after a green flash. She poses. ‘I am a stuck-up snob who only thinks about myself. I don’t care about anypony because I am a heartless bully.’

Diamond squeals and claps her hooves. ‘That is perfect! Your stupid crown thingy even changed too!’

Del groans. ‘Can I change back? I feel dirty just looking like you.’

‘Oh! Oh! Let’s play a joke on daddy! He’ll never see it coming.’

Del moans, but a crafty grin creeps across her face.
…

Mr Rich works in his study. There is a knock on the door.

‘Enter.’

Diamond Tiara trots into the room.

‘What is it, Diamond Tiara? Do you and your friend need something?’

‘Actually, daddy, this is more important. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and I need to talk to you about it.’

‘What is it, darling? You can tell me anything.’

Diamond takes a deep breath. ‘I want you to give my allowance to charity. We both know I don’t need it, so it should go to a good cause.’

Mr Rich raises an eyebrow. ‘Really?’

‘Also, I want to give away all my old dresses. I don’t need them anymore, and they should go to ponies who really deserve them.’

‘Diamond Tiara, are you sure about this?’

‘Positive.’ She nods. ‘Even if I deny it later, I want to go through with this. No matter how much I complain, do what I asked you just now. It would mean the world to me, even if I scream otherwise.’

Mr Rich laughs. ‘We’ll talk more about this later. Get back to your friend before she thinks you are ignoring her.’

Diamond smiles and trots out of the study. She trots through the halls until she is stopped by an upset Diamond Tiara.

‘That wasn’t funny,’ Diamond growls.

Del reverts to her pegasus disguise. ‘You wanted me to play a prank, didn’t you?’

‘I am going to recant everything you just said.’

Del laughs. ‘That might work if your dad doesn’t listen to what’ -- she smirks, exposing a fang -- ‘you told him.’

Diamond snorts and turns away. ‘Whatever. It won’t work. I’ll fix everything.’

‘Don’t care.’ Del sniffs. ‘Did you get any snacks? Silver-chan says you get all the expensive treats and juices.’

‘Hmpf!’ Diamond leads Del away. ‘I am going to put down that changelings only think with their stomachs.’

‘Makes sense to me. Chryssy does what she does to feed our hive.’

Diamond passes through a doorway. ‘Always thinking with your stomachs.’

‘Are we going to have expensive snacks or not?’

Diamond sighs and motions behind her. They are in the kitchen, standing before a pantry filled with cookies, cakes and other treats. Del licks her lips and advances.

The other filly goes to get them drinks. ‘Just don’t eat too much. Daddy doesn’t like having the maids restock too often.’ Diamond turns back and freezes. Del bites and rips the side off a box of doughnuts before eating. Two more empty boxes flank the filly. ‘I think we need a bigger pantry.’

Del trots home after her day at Diamond Tiara’s. Her father is in the kitchen making dinner.

‘There’s my little angel,’ James greets. ‘Did you have a good day?’

‘I guess...’ Del sighs.

The stallion gets a juice box for his daughter. ‘What’s wrong? Something bad happen at school or with your friends?’

‘No. We did get a new assignment from Cheerilee, though.’

‘Oh? What is it about?’

‘We have to report on one of the many species in the world.’

‘Did you get one you didn’t want?’

Del shakes her head. ‘No, Cheerilee said I could report on changelings when I asked.’

‘That’s great! I’ll ask Twilight if you can see her notes.’ James gets his mobile out but stops calling. ‘Nopony wanted to report on aliens, right?’

Del shakes her head.

James puts away his mobile. ‘Okay. What has you upset?’

‘Cheerilee let me pick my partner...’

‘Did you get a good one?’

‘I picked Diamond Tiara.’

James is confused. ‘Her?’

‘She was making fun of me and changelings and I thought I would scare her, but she thinks changelings are cool and really likes my sister.’

‘Her?’

‘Now, I think we are sorta friends...’

‘Her?’

‘Don’t rub it in!’

James hugs his daughter. ‘Don’t worry. The project will be over soon enough, and you two can go back to fighting all the time.’

Del smiles and hugs back. ‘Thank you, daddy. You know just what to say.’

‘No, I don’t and you know it.’ He sets his daughter at the table. ‘Now, eat tons of sugar and do your homework. Dinner will be ready by the time your sister gets off work.’

Del laughs and gets out her homework.

After school, Del and Diamond trot through town together. Del keeps her distance so as not to seem like she is associated with the other filly. Diamond tries keeping up.

‘Slow down!’ the pink filly snaps.

Del stops and huffs, ‘We’re here.’

‘The library?’ Diamond rolls her eyes. ‘With how little is known about changelings, we’d be better off checking Wikipedia.’ She sighs. ‘Oh well. When I told my dad about our assignment he suggested asking the Elements of Harmony and your silly friends since they have had a lot of experiences with them.’

‘One of my “silly friends” is your fillyfriend.’

‘Your point being?’

Del groans and opens the door to the library. The building is filled with foals running about. Twilight does her best to help find books for everypony. Spike runs back and forth bringing books to the researching foals. Apple Bloom brings a couple books to a table with Noi and Truffle.

Twilight looks over at the open door. ‘Del! So good to see you.’

‘Hi, mommy! Daddy said we could see your notes.’

‘Right this way.’ Twilight turns to show the new fillies away. Another foal blocks her path. ‘Ask Apple Bloom. She knows where everything is.’ She leads Del and Diamond to her laboratory. A couple binders sit on her desk. ‘Here you go. All my notes from the invasion of Canterlot, saving the Cutie Mark Crusaders and everything I could get from Celestia and my brother on changelings.’ She smiles proudly. ‘You’ll be surprised how much pull a princess has.’

‘Thank you, mommy!’ Del cheers.

Twilight smiles and goes back to tending the library.

‘ “Mommy”?’ Diamond asks.

‘She is going to adopt me when she marries daddy.’ Del smiles happily. ‘She is going to be the best mommy ever.’

Diamond frowns. ‘Little sister to a queen and daughter of a princess, too. I cannot be more jealous of you.’

Del’s smile grows. ‘Did I mention Rei is Luna’s daughter from another dimension? She is a princess too.’

‘Rub it in, why don’t you?’

The pegasus laughs and goes to look at the binders. Diamond sighs and joins her partner. They flip through the pages and take notes on interesting. The door opens again. Neither filly notice as somepony else enters the room. The mysterious pony sneaks up on the fillies.

‘Whatcha studyin’?’ Rainbow Dash asks.

The fillies scream and turn around.

‘Oh. Hi, Miss Dash,’ Diamond greets.

‘Hi, Dashie.’

Rainbow looks over the binders. ‘Looks like ya are learnin’ about changelings.’

‘You obviously knew that already if you are here bugging us,’ Diamond snorts.

‘Yeah. Heard about it from Scootaloo. Wanted to give you some words of wisdom.’

‘What? Miss Sparkle’s notes seem pretty thorough.’

‘Just wanted to tell ya that changelings aren’t the type of creature you should do a school report on. The kid here might be a good one, but the rest are monsters. Why else did Celestia have them surrounded by soldiers when the queen toured Equestria?’

‘Chrysalis was here!’ Diamond gasps. ‘When?’

‘She was disguised as Full Moon. Probably drained the love of everypony at her concerts.’

‘My sister did no such thing,’ Del growls. ‘And the guards were to keep regular ponies from finding out her secret.’ She laughs. ‘She was being protected from you, not the other way around. Sunny Princess knew who the real threat was.’

Rainbow growls. ‘Listen. When the rest of the town finds out you are treating changelings like they are normal ponies, they will get Cheerilee to change your topic. Just trying to warn you before you get too far in your studies. Maybe you can join Scootaloo’s thestral group. Ya know, research somepony who doesn’t eat other ponies.’

‘Rainbow! What are you doing in here!’ Twilight shouts from the doorway.

Rainbow kicks off the ground and flies to the door. ‘Just telling the kids to start preparing another topic to research.’

‘Rainbow... Just because you don’t trust changelings doesn’t mean everypony dislikes them. All of Del’s friends and everypony in James’ district like changelings. You have to be more open-minded.’

‘I’m plenty open-minded. I just don’t want the kid’s mind to be opened when everypony finds out her secret, if ya know what I mean.’

Twilight stands as tall as she can and spreads her wings. ‘Del will be my daughter soon. They will have to get through me first.’

Rainbow shrinks away from her friend. ‘Yes, ma’am.’

‘Told you she is going to be the best mommy,’ Del gloats.

After dinner, Diamond Tiara goes through some of Twilight’s binders. She and Del have split the work between them. Mr Rich trots by his daughter’s room.

‘You seem to be really enjoying your assignment,’ Mr Rich comments.

‘It is the best!’ Diamond holds up a picture of a changeling in armor. ‘Did you know Prince Shining Armor has a changeling in his personal squad?’

The father smiles. ‘It was on the news shortly after it was revealed. It is good we have a prince as open-minded as him.’

Diamond nods. ‘Also, his wife was one of the ponies who voted to invite Chrysalis to join the League of Harmony.’

‘Was she now?’

The filly nods again and flips through some pages. ‘Everypony except Queen Artemis and King Uther voted for her to join.’

‘And how do you know this?’

‘Miss Sparkle got me and Del a bunch of notes from the royal archives. That included the voting statistics of the League. It was simple maths when you take into account which rulers complained about it the most.’

Mr Rich reaches for one of the binders. ‘Can I see one of these?’

Diamond slaps her father’s hoof away. ‘Royal eyes only.’

Mr Rich laughs and backs away. ‘I’ll leave you to you work.’ The stallion turns around.

‘Daddy?’

‘Yes?’

‘Changelings are really cool! You should hire one!’

The stallion grimaces. ‘I don’t think my customers would like that.’

‘It is not like they would have to reveal themselves,’ the filly huffs. ‘Besides, even the ones who invaded Canterlot and Ponyville were a million times nicer than that prick Midnight. It would be a vast improvement.’

‘Language, young lady!’ the father snaps. He frowns at his daughter. ‘I’ll take your “advice” under consideration. And I’ll really think about giving away your allowance after that foul language.’

Mr Rich trots away.

‘Mr Wanderer hired a changeling with no problems,’ Diamond grumbles as she goes back to work.

The stallion gallops back to the room. ‘What!’

‘Just wondering if my punishment means I can’t have ice cream later.’

Mr Rich snorts heavily and storms away. Del sighs and goes back to her reading.

Diamond Tiara and Del meet at lunch to share notes. Their friends run around the schoolyard, playing. Some of the other groups also study and work on their reports. Diamond sighs and sits back.

‘Del...’

The filly sets down a juice box and takes a deep breath. ‘Yes?’ she replies, getting another juice box from her saddlebag.

‘Miss Sparkle and Miss Dash said others know what you really are. May I ask who?’

Del spits out her juice, something that never happens. ‘Can we not talk about that in public?’

‘Is it because too few ponies know?’ Diamond sighs. ‘I wish I had a cool secret like yours.’

‘It isn’t “cool”. Like Dashie said yesterday,’-- she looks at Apple Bloom -- ‘some ponies would want to hurt me if they knew what I am.’

Diamond’s jaw drops. ‘Apple Bloom! Really!’

Del shakes her head. ‘Her brother. He was about to stomp me, but Cheerie protected me.’

The other filly scoffs. ‘And I used to think he was hot.’ She sighs. ‘Anypony else I should hate for you too?’

‘Don’t hate anypony. It is not right. Even if they hate you, you should never hate them back. Even if you have to walk away forever... Daddy taught me that...’

Diamond looks at the pegasus as Del takes a long drink from her juice box.

‘I’m sorry,’ Diamond apologizes.

‘Me too. I was mean to you too.’

‘Not just for that.’ Diamond shakes her head. ‘I am sorry I didn’t know somepony like you earlier in life to teach me that.’

Del looks over and smiles. Diamond smiles back and leans in for a hug which Del reluctantly returns. They break and return to their studies. Diamond reaches into her bag for her lunch.

‘Did you eat my danishes!’

Del wipes her mouth. ‘What danishes?’

Diamond screams and starts fighting for access to Del’s lunch.

James escorts Del and Diamond into The Power Block after school. The parent cannot hold back his snickering. The fillies’ manes are messed up, and their saddlebags are slightly torn. The fillies go to the table and get out their books. James sets drinks in front of the fillies, then takes their bags and tiaras into the TARDIS to repair them. Del gets a box of candies from a cupboard and sets it on the table. Diamond immediately reaches for it, getting a glare in return.

‘Some of us didn’t have lunch,’ the pink filly snaps.

Del sighs and pushes the box over. She sips her drink. She sighs again. ‘Daddy, all his friends, Rei, Miss Daring, Miss Flitter, Miss Cheerie, Apple Bloom, Cutie Belle, Scoots, Truffle and Featheryweight.’

‘What?’

‘Those are most of the ponies who know.’

‘Who are the rest?’

Del jumps and looks back. James trots up and put the tiaras on the fillies’ heads.

Diamond smirks. ‘Well, answer your father.’

The pegasus groans. ‘Those are the ones I am sure know. I don’t know if too many others know my secret.’

‘Just checking,’ James says. ‘You know I worry about that. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.’

‘I’m safe, daddy.’

‘That’s why you only reveal yourself to your friends.’

‘Right! Only ponies I can trust.’

‘Like Diamond.’

Del almost answers, but she growls and looks away. Diamond giggles.

James laughs and ruffles Del’s mane. ‘I’m going to take your bags to Rei. I’m all thumbs when it comes to sewing.’

The stallion leaves the fillies to their work.

‘Thumbs?’ Diamond asks.

‘It is a human thing. Daddy says them occasionally.’

‘Humans?’

Del nods. ‘Uh huh.’

‘And why are we researching changelings?’

Del groans. ‘You really want to know why not?’
…

Sweetie, Toostie Flute and Twist sit in a high school classroom. The board is covered in drawings while Lyra talks almost nonstop. Twist is developing an eye tick. Toostie has fallen asleep. Sweetie nods enthusiastically as she uses her magic to write notes. She waves a hoof in the air.

‘Ooo! Ooo! Miss Lyra! Is there a way to actually meet a human?’ Sweetie asks.

Lyra spins around, still writing with her magic. ‘Great question, young humanologist! (That is what they are called, by the way. Those who study humans.) Anyway! A good pony to ask is Mr Wanderer. He has a spaceship of some sort that can go to other worlds. Also, you can ask my buddy Twilight. She once used a magic mirror to travel to a human world. It is worth checking out if you really want to meet them.’

‘Thpacethip? Magic mirror?’ Twist groans. ‘Are you making thith up?’

‘It is all the honest truth. I am a professional humanologist.’ Lyra flashes a certificate.

Sweetie claps. Twist adjusts her glasses.

‘Lookth like thith ith made in crayon.’ She leans closer to get a better view. ‘ “Lyra Heartthringth, Age 25”.’

Lyra puts the certificate away. ‘It is only a prototype.’ She turns off the lights and starts a projector. ‘Now! Let’s discuss human mating rituals!’

Toostie bolts upright. ‘I’m paying attention.’
…

Diamond grimaces. ‘I see your point. She’s weird.’

Del empties the box of candy into her mouth and gets up to get another one while still chewing.

‘And then there is you...’ Diamond sighs.

At the end of her lessons, Cheerilee stops to address the class.

‘I hope your assignments have been going well,’ the teacher states. ‘Unfortunately, some of the conditions are going to be changed.’

The class moans.

‘I know. I agree with you too,’ Cheerilee sighs. ‘A few of your parents have expressed concern about the topics some of you are covering.’

‘But humans are real!’ Sweetie protests. ‘Lyra says so!’

Even Cheerilee groans at the outburst. Del yawns.

‘Anyway, at the end of the project, we’ll be putting on a presentation for the town. Each group will give a short talk about the tribe or species they have been researching.’

The students moan again.

‘Don’t worry. You don’t have to say much. Also, you can use whatever resources you need. I am sure some of you can produce some amazing presentations, Diamond Tiara.’

The filly does not look up from her tablet. ‘I’m listening. Presentation. Whatever. I ran a newspaper. This is nothing.’

‘Ya ran it fer only a couple weeks,’ Apple Bloom counters.

‘Still longer than when you ran a newspaper.’

‘Ah never ran a newspaper.’

‘Exactly.’

Apple Bloom turns back to Del. ‘Can’t ya talk some sense int’ her?’

Del puts her saddlebag on. ‘Is class over? I wasn’t listening.’

‘Can’t tell if she is acting normal or if Diamond is rubbing off on her?’ Scootaloo mumbles.

Twilight Sparkle hosts a book club at the library. Members of the club include Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Cheerilee, Mayor Mare and her aide, Inkwell. The mares discuss their book as well as dipping into current events.

Fluttershy giggles. ‘I can’t wait to see your class’ presentations, Cheerilee. I am sure we are going to learn a lot.’

‘We shouldn’t have to do presentations at all,’ Cheerilee grumbles.

‘We’re sorry about that demand,’ the mayor says, ‘but there were enough concerned parents to warrant a public screening.’

‘Translation: she bowed to political pressure,’ Inkwell sighs.

‘There were just so many odd topics being reported on. I felt it would be best to prove their educational worth.’

‘Just because Sweetie Belle’s group...’ Cheerilee groans.

‘It wasn’t just the group reporting on humans,’ Inkwell explains. ‘You have groups reporting on non-sapient species like timberwolves.’

‘And changelings,’ Rainbow Dash mumbles.

‘Rainbow!’ Twilight gasps. ‘Changelings are just as much ponies as you or I. Even timberwolves display more intelligence than we give them credit for. Just look at the ones that attacked Applejack that one time.’

‘Timberwolves we can control and keep out of our towns and cities. Changelings can be anywhere, even in your fiance’s home.’

‘That is a low blow,’ the princess growls. ‘You know she is a good girl, and we are supposed to be helping her learn about Equestrian society to help bridge the gap between ponies and changelings.’

‘I still say it is just to shorten the route between us and their stomachs.’

‘That is not true.’

‘Tell that to your brother.’

The friends stand and glare at each other, wings flared in anger.

‘Excuse me, what are we arguing about?’ the mayor asks. ‘Is there a changeling in my town that you are protecting?’

‘She is here by order of Princess Celestia, and she is my future stepdaughter,’ Twilight replies. ‘Don’t even think of messing with her.’

The mayor backs away. ‘I wouldn’t dream of it.’

‘It ain’t just her,’ Rainbow adds. ‘He has one working for him too.’

‘Rainbow! We’re supposed to be protecting their secret!’

‘As long as they are not causing havoc, I don’t see any harm in them living here,’ the mayor states.

‘What if more of the town found out about them?’ Inkwell asks.

‘I did not get where I am today by doing what was politically expedient.’

Fluttershy barely holds back a snort of laughter. The other mare turns and growls.

Rainbow sits down. ‘Whatevs. When everypony sees the report on changelings, they’ll be on my side for sure.’

‘I really doubt that,’ Cheerilee responds. ‘Del and Diamond Tiara have been working really hard to produce their report. They will give a very unbiased view on changelings.’

‘Kinda hard to do when one of them is a changeling.’

‘Rainbow,’ Twilight growls, ‘if you continue to insult Del like that, so help me, I will use the destiny-swapping spell to really make Spike the new Rainbow Dash.’

The pegasus whimpers and shrinks. She looks to Fluttershy for support.

‘And if you go after Rei, I’ll make your head explode with my mind,’ the other pegasus adds. ‘You know I can.’

Rainbow squeaks and hides behind the mayor and her assistant.

Del paces behind a stage. Diamond calmly works on her tablet. On stage, another group is giving their report.

‘Calm down. We have an amazing report,’ Diamond assures. ‘You just have to stand there and look pretty and let me do all the talking. It will all be over before you know it.’

‘I don’t like talking in front of ponies. I think they are all judging me and that they all can see through my disguise and that they all hate me for being a changeling and...’

Diamond shoves a juice box in her partner’s hooves. ‘Don’t worry about it. You have only a few lines and present a few slides. Oh! You have to thank your sister for that pic of changelings feeding. It is really cool.’

Del grimaces. ‘Just warn me before you show it. I threw up when I saw it.’

‘Oh, it is not that bad.’

‘They were draining the energy from cute cat things.’

‘Well, they at least smiled and waved for the camera... The changelings, too.’

Del groans and goes to watch the presentations. Apple Bloom, Noi and Truffle are finishing up their report on unicorns.

‘...And though there ain’t many spells in the field, Ah think unicorn magic can be used fer time travel,’ Apple Bloom reports. ‘Ya might never know if the unicorn next t’ ya is from now or is some prince from the stars here t’ whisk ya away...’

The filly sighs wistfully. The others clear their throats. Apple Bloom blushes and backs away for her partners turn to speak. Del smiles and looks into the audience. Most of Ponyville is out for the presentations. She looks for her father and sees him and Twilight sitting with their friends. Rei and Pinkie are sharing snacks with everypony. Mimi notices Del peeking out. She nods towards the back of the audience then over to Apple Bloom. Del nods and ducks back.

‘Was my daddy out there?’ Diamond asks.

‘I didn’t look.’

‘Probably out there. I told him it was important. He should have made it. He tries to make it...’

Del sighs and pats her friend on the back. Apple Bloom’s group trots backstage.

‘Great report!’ Del tells her friend.

‘Thanks, Del. It sorta got away from me a bit.’

Del laughs. ‘Don’t worry.’ She leans in close. ‘There were two areas in the audience directing a lot of love towards you. One was your family...’

‘Who was the other?’ Apple Bloom grabs her friend. ‘Was it a blue unicorn with a messy green mane?’

Del shrugs. Apple Bloom lets go and gallops away. The pegasus congratulates her other friends. Diamond keeps working on her tablet.

‘Our next group is Diamond Tiara and Del Wanderer reporting on changelings,’ Cheerilee announces.

The fillies take one last breath before heading out onto stage. Diamond smiles when she see her father in the front row. Once on stage, the pink filly taps her tablet to start their presentation. She opens her mouth to speak.

‘Freaks!’

‘Monsters!’

Diamond growls. ‘If you let us begin, you might change your tune.’

‘We know enough from when they attacked our town!’

‘Told you...’ Rainbow Dash mumbles to her friends.

Diamond keeps trying to talk over the jeering audience. Del shrinks back, embarrassed and hurt. She looks over at her father for support. He glances to his sides and nods. Del takes deep breath and trots to the front of the stage.

‘Excuse me!’ the filly shouts.

All eyes are directed to the nervous filly. She takes another deep breath and drops her disguise. Several members of the audience scream. Others shout epithets at her. Some shout back at the abusers.

‘Ch-changelings aren’t bad ponies!’ Del yells. ‘We are just misunderstood. We just want to live peacefully with ponies. Some hives have done bad things...’

‘Like attack Celestia and invade Ponyville!’

‘...but most changelings want the same things as most ponies.’

‘Yeah! Our souls!’

‘That is not...’

‘Somepony get her before she harms us!’

‘I always thought there was something weird about that family...’

‘At least that explains Rei. I knew she wasn’t-’ The pony is mysteriously shocked.

‘Please listen to us!’ Del begs. ‘If you let us do our report, you won’t think that way.’

‘Get the monster off the stage!’

‘ENOUGH!’ Diamond shouts. ‘You are attacking and abusing a filly just because she is a changeling. She has been living here for almost a year. We have all gotten to know her. We all know her as a little weird but still a good pony and great friend. Yes, she is a changeling but when has she ever done anything like the ones that attacked the town or Canterlot? Hell! I know ponies that have done worse to me than the real mean changelings. You are scared of them because they are different. You fear them because they can have unusual eating habits. You persecute them because of the way they look. That is the way it has been for centuries. It is our fault they do the mean things they do. I look at Del, and I see a friend. The only souls she has devoured are those of too many doughnuts to count. Seriously. She has a problem.’ -- Del growls at her friend -- ‘Anyway! She just wants to live in peace and have fun with her friends. Queen Chrysalis wants to befriend and make it up to the ponies she hurt. If Princesses Celestia and Cadence...’

‘And Sparkle!’ a random princess in the audience shouts.

‘...are willing to forgive and learn from the changelings, us regular ponies can follow their lead.’

The audience murmurs as Diamond’s speech sinks in.

Del smiles at her friend. ‘Thank you.’

Diamond returns the smile.

Cheerilee trots onstage. ‘I think we have heard a very good reason why these reports are necessary. They help us learn to understand everypony just a little bit better. Furthermore... Yes?’

The teacher stops when she notices a hoof raised in the audience. Everypony turns to look.

Raindrops blushes from the extra attention on her. ‘Um, this is a question for Del. Can, uh, you do me?’

Del laughs and focuses her magic. The audience gasps and cheers the transformation.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Del 'befriends' Diamond Tiara. Del reveals her true form to Ponyville.

Lost Love

Main Characters: Apple Bloom, Stormy
Cameos: Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara, Lemon Sorbet, Redheart, Lyra, Starlight
Original Start Date: May 16, 2013

‘Welcome to Carousel Boutique. Where everything is blah, blah, blah. I’m on break,’ Stormy moans as he lays across the reception counter.

‘Really?’ Apple Bloom asks. ‘Ah’ve only been up fer three hours. It is jus’ nine in the mornin’.’

The young stallion groans as he stands up. ‘I’m on coffee break. You run the counter while I get some Ponybucks.’

Stormy tries leaving, but Apple Bloom stands in his way. A magenta aura surrounds the filly.

‘Ya lift me, and Ah break it off,’ the filly threatens.

‘Sweetie is at her parents’ house. Rarity is upstairs. My coffee is out there. How can I help you so I can get my coffee?’

‘Ah ain’t here fer them. Ah’m here fer you.’

The tired stallion blinks. ‘Like I’ve told Sweetie a number of times, I have a fillyfriend. You’re smart, so this should be your only warning.’

Apple Bloom is confused. ‘Why’d ya have t’ tell Sweetie that?’

Stormy opens his mouth to answer then stops. ‘It is complicated.’

‘Complicated like why mah brother has, like, twenty fillyfriends? Complicated like why mah sister still visits Mr Wanderer even though she sees Sunshine all the time? Complicated like them games Rei always plays in her store? Help me out here.’

Stormy blinks. ‘Honestly? The last one.’

‘Ah. She’ll grow outa it... Ah hope. Anyway, are ya helpin’ me or do Ah have t’ get my rope?’

The stallion sighs. ‘Now, the problem is the second one.’

‘Ah ain’t into ya that way. Now get yer flank in gear and come with me.’

‘Are you sure it isn’t the second one?’

‘Listen. Ah need yer help. Yer the only one that can help me.’

Stormy sits. ‘I’ll give you one sentence. If you get my attention, you can have more.’

Apple Bloom blushes and looks away. ‘Ah’m in love.’

Stormy raises an eyebrow. ‘Go on.’

‘See, Ah met a colt back ‘round New Year, but Ah haven’t seen ‘im since.’

‘And your sister can’t help you?’

‘He wouldn’ let me get any adult t’ help ‘im while he was here. He insisted not tellin’ anypony, especially Mr Wanderer.’

‘Interesting. Why him?’

‘Ah don’ know. Ah don’ know who else t’ ask. Ah can’t ask Rei or Miss Twilight since they’d tell Mr Wanderer. Yer the next smartest pony Ah know.’

‘Well, thanks for the compliment, but I don’t know how I can help.’

‘Ya know things. Ya are good with other ponies. Ya... Yer like Mr Wanderer! Yer the only one that can get thin’s done!’

Stormy takes a deep breath and stands. He rounds the filly and opens the door for her. ‘You’re buying my coffee and paying for anything else we need.’

Apple Bloom nods enthusiastically. ‘Of course! Thanks fer the help!’

The young stallion smiles as he follows the filly away. ‘And for the record, relating me to Mr Wanderer is more of a compliment than calling me smart. Infinitely better.’

As the ponies trot away together, Sweetie Belle arrives at the boutique. Her jaw drops when she sees her best friend and adoptive brother leaving together.

Stormy levitates his coffee and a sketch in front of him as he trots through town with Apple Bloom. He sips his drink while he examines the picture of the blue unicorn. Apple Bloom sighs as she puts away a half-empty bag of bits.

‘Did ya have t’ order the fanciest drink? Was it even on the menu?’

‘You have to know what you want.’ Stormy sips his drink. ‘Well, despite what you may have been told by comedians, I have no idea who he is. Do you have a better picture?’

Apple Bloom blushes. ‘Ah may have gotten plenty of good looks at him, but Ah didn’ get any pictures, ‘kay?’

‘Could you ask Del to impersonate him?’

‘Changelin’s can’ do opposite genders. Weren’t ya at the presentation?’

‘You could have asked her just to match the colors. That would have been a step up.’

‘Well, we can’t ask her now, can we?’ Apple Bloom snorts. ‘Getting t’ go t’ the Crystal Empire. Havin’ adventures...’

‘We’re hunting your lost love based on a couple days where nopony saw you together and ended with him disappearing in a flash of light. How is this not an adventure?’

Apple Bloom smiles and hugs the unicorn. ‘Thanks, Stormy.’

Unknown to the investigating ponies, they are being watched. A furious growl comes from a nearby bush. Sweetie Belle glares as she watches Stormy open a door for Apple Bloom, and they enter a building.

‘How dare they?’ the young unicorn snaps. ‘My best friend and my big brother sneaking around together. This is an outrage!’

‘I thought I was your best friend?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘You are. Now.’ Sweetie turns back. ‘We don’t need Apple Bloom any more.’

‘Can’t they just be spending the day together or something? Like Applejack asked him to watch her or something?’

‘Are you blind! Can’t you see what they are up to?’

The pegasus rolls her eyes. ‘What are they up to?’

‘Where did they just enter?’

‘City Hall.’

‘And what do they do at City Hall?’

‘Run the city.’

‘Not just that! They also give out marriage licences!’

‘So you’re saying...’

‘That’s right! Stormy and Apple Bloom are getting married!’

Scootaloo stares at her friend. She leans close and sniffs Sweetie’s muzzle.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Well, when my bastard father used to live with us, he’d get drunk all the time. I’m checking you for booze.’ She opens a wing. ‘Now, how many feathers am I holding up?’

‘I am not drunk!’ -- Scootaloo opens her mouth to reply -- ‘Nor am I crazy or jealous! I mean it! Stormy and Apple Bloom are up to something, and I will catch them in the act.’ She turns and glares at City Hall. ‘Now, get in there and find out what they are looking for.’

‘What? Why me?’

‘I’m not good at this spy stuff. You have to find out what they are doing in there.’

‘I thought you knew what they were doing in there?’

‘Well, uh...’ Sweetie blushes. ‘Shut up! It isn’t like you know what they are doing either. Why do you have your mobile out?’

Scootaloo stops dialing. ‘Because if this turns out like the last time we followed Apple Bloom around, we’re going to need Diamond, Pip, Featherweight and the rest of the crew.’

Sweetie growls and resumes her observations.

‘Hey, Diamond? Get your flank to City Hall. You’re not going to believe what we got this time.’
…

Apple Bloom frowns as she and Stormy stand in front of a clerk.

‘Sorry, kiddo, but we just can’t give that sort of information to strangers,’ the clerk says.

‘Ah understand. Thanks, Ah guess,’ Apple Bloom mopes as she drags herself away.

‘Thank you for your time,’ Stormy says, bowing.

The young stallion escorts the filly from the building.
…

‘Ha! I knew she was too young to get married!’ Sweetie gloats. She turns back to see Scootaloo holding her mobile up. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Diamond is hosting a Hangout with everypony we know. This is great stuff.’

Sweetie turns red with embarrassment. ‘Put that away!’

‘Come on! They are on the move!’ Scootaloo holds her mobile in her mouth as she gets out her scooter. She spits the device into Sweetie’s hooves. ‘Now, hold that steady while we follow them.’

The unicorn groans as she holds the wet mobile.

Hey, Sweetie~! Diamond Tiara greets over the connection.

Sweetie sighs and gets on the scooter.
…

‘Don’t feel so bad,’ Stormy assures.

‘That was mah best idea. Ah figured they have some record o’ Starlight.’

‘That’s a pretty cool name. Shouldn’t be too hard to find in their records.’

Apple Bloom groans. ‘Ah know, but they won’t let us see ‘em.’

‘Which is why I hacked their computers.’

Apple Bloom looks up. Stormy levitates his mobile in front of him.

‘Just got to input a search of all birth records, and we’ll be in business.’ His magic taps a button. ‘Hmm. Might take a bit. Up for some ice cream?’

‘Sure!’ The filly glares. ‘Jus’ make sure ya order the cheap stuff. Ah ain’t made o’ money.’

Stormy laughs as he puts his mobile away. The two ponies trot on towards the ice cream shoppe.

Sweetie Belle fumes as she watches Stormy and Apple Bloom eating ice cream. Scootaloo covers her laughter while several other giggles come from her mobile.

‘Stormy never eats ice cream with me~!’ Sweetie whines.

Yes, he does, a voice argues over Scootaloo’s mobile.

Sweetie turns to see Lemon Sorbet frowning at her. ‘Lemon? What are you doing here?’

Well, I saw Scootaloo’s post, and I just had to join in, Lemon replies. You are just so cute when you get fussy.

Sweetie blushes bright red and turns away as all her friends start laughing at her.
…

Stormy checks his mobile while he and Apple Bloom dine. The unicorn scrolls through the list of results on his mobile. He sighs and sets down his device.

‘Good news or bad news?’ the unicorn asks.

Apple Bloom sighs. ‘Bad first.’

‘None of the ponies named “Starlight” match your description of him. Definitely no colts too.’

‘And the good?’

‘I found the birth announcement your family made.’ He shows the filly a picture. ‘You were totally adorable.’

Apple Bloom forces the mobile down. ‘Don’ ever show anypony that again.’

Stormy laughs. ‘Sorry. You should see some of Sweetie’s pictures. She was nearly as cute as you.’

‘That’s nice and all,’ Apple Bloom groans, ‘but it doesn’ help me find Starlight.’

‘I wish I could have been more help. Is there any other pony you could ask?’

‘Well, Ah did get Nurse Redheart t’ check on ‘im when he was haven’ trouble with his magic.’

‘Did she scan him with the device she got from Mr Wanderer?’

‘Ah guess so. She had it with her.’

Stormy stands. ‘I think we got our next clue. Ready to go?’

Apple Bloom stands and nods. She smiles at Stormy as they trot away together. A yell comes from behind a nearby planter.

The investigating ponies enter Ponyville Hospital. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle ride up on the pegasus’ scooter a moment later. The unicorn hops off and looks at the building.

‘Why would they go here?’

Think about it, Diamond says from Scootaloo’s mobile.

Scootaloo holds her mobile out to her friend.

‘What do you mean?’ Sweetie asks.

Well, what goes on at a hospital?

‘You get check-ups?’

What else?

Sweetie thinks. ‘Well, there was the one time I ate Opal’s food and needed my tummy pumped.’

Scootaloo, Diamond and several others in the stream stifle laughter.

You’re so cute, Lemon coos.

Sweetie growls. ‘Fine. What are you talking about?’

Diamond sighs. ‘Don’t you remember our health class? Sometimes when two ponies-- she picks her words carefully --When they want to have “fun” together without, uh, consequences, they have to take special precautions.`

‘They’re getting condoms from the doctors so they can fool around,’ Scootaloo translates.

‘WHAT!’ Sweetie Belle tries vocalizing more thoughts, but she settles on fainting. Her hind leg kicks as she lays on the ground. Her friends roar with laughter over the stream.

She is just so adorable when she freaks out, Lemon giggles.

‘Do you really think that is what they are doing?’ Scootaloo asks.

Doubt it, Diamond replies. I figured that would get the best reaction from her.

The pegasus laughs, ‘I could kiss you.’

Maybe later, dear.

Sweetie squeaks and kicks her leg again. The foals laugh at their friend.
…

Stormy trots through the halls while Apple Bloom checks every room they pass. The unicorn steps up to a station where a blue mare with a green mane works.

‘Excuse me, is Nurse Redheart available?’ Stormy asks.

Tenderheart looks up. ‘Redheart? She should be around. Did you crack your horn again, Mr Stormy?’

‘Ha ha,’ the stallion groans. ‘We just need her help with something.’

‘I’ll let her know.’ Tenderheart looks down the hall. ‘Sweety, don’t go in...’

Apple Bloom waves at a patient then closes the door. ‘Hope ya get better soon!’

The nurse laughs as the filly goes to the station. ‘Surprising to see a filly unfazed by sick ponies.’

‘Ah’ve seen worse when Ah was kidnapped bah changelin’s. Sick ponies ain’t that bad.’

‘They are when you have to wash your mane and scrub your hooves in the middle of your shift,’ Nurse Redheart complain as she trots up. She sighs. ‘How can I help you Mr Stormy? Your horn looks fine, but your choice of fillyfriend has taken a turn for the illegal.’

‘First of all, ew. Second, she is the one here for you, not me.’

Redheart looks at the filly. ‘Honey, you can do a lot better than him.’

‘Ah know. That’s why Ah need yer help.’

The nurse blushes. ‘Well, I don’t know how I can help.’

Tenderheart giggles. ‘She’s still on her first coltfriend.’

Redheart hold back a yell. ‘Anyway! Let’s talk somewhere else.’ She leads the guests to an empty room. ‘How can I help you?’

Apple Bloom kicks the ground. ‘When ya did the check-up on Starlight, did ya find out who his parents were?’

‘When I did what to who?’

‘Starlight! He was hidin’ in mah clubhouse!’ She gets the sketch out of her bag. ‘He looks like this! Ya helped him get his magic back!’

‘I’m sorry, Apple Bloom. I don’t know who you are talking about.’

The filly stares up in shock then gallops away, crying. Stormy stands in front of the door.

‘Why did you lie to her?’

Redheart looks away. ‘I cannot say who his parents are.’ She glances up. ‘I can’t believe you haven’t figured it out yet.’

Stormy frowns then gallops after Apple Bloom. He catches her as she leaves the hospital.

‘Apple Bloom, wait!’

‘What’s the use? Ah ain’t never gonna find him again!’

Stormy catches her in his magic. ‘It is not over!’ He trots past and levitates her to his back. ‘I know one last pony to ask and if she fails, then we know something crazy is going on.’

The stallion trots away from the hospital with his passenger. Scootaloo fans Sweetie Belle before picking up her mobile.

‘Sorry, guys,’ the young pegasus apologizes. ‘Looks like she is out for good. Guess this is the end of it. I’ll have to take her back to Rarity’s. Thanks for coming out.’

Scootaloo ends the stream. She grunts as she lifts Sweetie to her scooter and rides away.

‘You’re not a cop, are you?’ a voice asks from the other side of a door.

‘Just open up, Lyra,’ Stormy groans.

The unicorn opens the door to her home and shows her guests in. ‘Sorry. You just can’t be too sure these days.’

‘When you are ready to tell Apple Bloom about the school you recruited Sweetie into, then you can tell her why that is an untrue statement.’

‘Right.’ Lyra sits and levitates her lyre. ‘Now, how can I help my best student and my potential best future student?’

‘Ah need yer help findin’ somepony, and Stormy says ya know everypony who has ever came t’ Ponyville.’

Lyra strums her instrument. ‘Well, I don’t want to toot my own horn...’

Stormy rolls his eyes. ‘Unless you’re talking about the one on your head, that is a string instrument.’

The other unicorn nods. ‘And that is why you are my best student.’

‘Just help Apple Bloom.’

‘Right!’ Lyra smiles. ‘What is the pony’s name?’

‘Starlight! Starlight Clarke!’ Apple Bloom replies.

The name makes Stormy think. Lyra nods and gets up.

‘Got it.’ Lyra trots towards her study. ‘Make yourselves at home. Bon Bon always leave plenty of treats. She also left half a sandwich, but it is poisoned.’

Stormy snaps out of his thought. ‘Poisoned?’

‘Yeah. It is cut lengthwise. That’s as good as poison.’

‘Ain’t ya supposed t’ cut it diagonal-like?’

Lyra freezes and turns back. ‘Apple Bloom...’

The filly shrinks away. ‘Yes?’

‘When you get to my class, you will never get below an “A”. I love you.’

Stormy uses his magic to push his teacher away. ‘Just find her coltfriend.’
…

Stormy and Apple bloom eat the candies Bon Bon left for her wife. They have been waiting for over a hour. Swearing is heard from Lyra’s study. The unicorn storms out levitating a notebook in front of her.

‘Starlight is impossible!’ Lyra declares.

‘He’s real!’ Apple Bloom defends. ‘Ah saw him! Ah touched him! Ah cuddled him! Ah kissed him!’

‘That is what makes him impossible,’ Lyra seethes. ‘You know he is real. There is no doubt about that. What is impossible is that there is no record of him. I can find anypony in the world! Your coltfriend is impossible!’

‘Well, he did have a teleportation-like spell...’

‘Teleportation-like?’

Apple Bloom thinks. ‘It wasn’ like when Twilight or somepony else teleports. It made him all glowy and stuff.’

‘Glowy? What kind of glowy?’

‘Ah don’ know! Jus’ glowy!’ She pulls off her bow and holds up the note from Starlight. ‘What ‘bout the “S”! Does this “S” mean anythin’!’

Stormy stands. ‘I think I know who he is.’

‘That makes one of us,’ Lyra sighs.

‘Apple Bloom, come with me.’ Stormy goes to the door. ‘Thanks for the help, teach.’

Lyra holds up a hoof. ‘Live long and prosper.’

The guests groan and wave. Before Apple Bloom can ask, Stormy gallops across town. The filly follows him to the library. He pushes open the door. Spike is sitting on the center table, eating ice cream from the carton. He notices the visitors, and a glob of ice cream lands on his chest.

‘Uh...’ Spike sighs, ‘Whatever. This exactly what it looks like.’

‘Where is the sci-fi section?’ Stormy asks.

‘This way,’ Apple Bloom replies before Spike can. ‘Ah know this place like the back o’ mah hoof.’

The filly leads Stormy to a shelf in back. The young stallion scans the books. He laughs.

‘Found him.’

Apple Bloom looks at the books then Stormy. ‘What are ya talkin’ about?’

Stormy points. ‘Clarke. Right there.’

‘That’s jus’ a storybook. It ain’t Starlight.’

The unicorn nods. ‘Yes, it is. He was trying to hide his identity, so he didn’t give you the complete answer. He hid himself right in front of you. He got that from his father.’

‘What are ya talkin’ ‘bout?’

Stormy points at the shelf. ‘Adams, Asimov, Bradbury, Clarke, Niven, Wells. They are all famous sci-fi authors.’ He looks at the shelf and laughs. ‘Oh, that is a clever one.’

‘Stormy?’

The stallion shakes his head. ‘Sorry. I think I should explain.’ He clears his throat. ‘Rei, they are giving away free joso at the library.’

Stormy is instantly knocked over by his friend.

Rei stands on her friend. ‘Where! Gimme!’

The unicorn pushes himself free. ‘First, I need to ask you a couple questions. It is for Apple Bloom.’

Rei sits and smiles. ‘Sure. I like Saku-chan!’

‘What is your big brother’s name? His full name.’

The pegasus raises an eyebrow. ‘Bradbury? His name is Apple Bradbury Pie. He is awesome! He’s also his world’s Element of Loyalty and dating Sak-’

Stormy raises a hoof. ‘And what is your big sister’s full name?’

Rei smiles. ‘Rainbow Asimov Pie! I love Asimov! She is so fun! Just like her mommy!’

‘Thank you.’ Stormy smiles and looks down at Apple Bloom. ‘Do you get it yet?’

The filly thinks for a moment then turns to the shelf. ‘Can ya get me that book there?’

Stormy levitates a book down. He turns back to see Rei glaring at him.

‘Where’s the joso?’ the pegasus growls, electricity sparking between her blackening wings.

‘Uh... I’ll raid Rarity’s stash for you when I get home.’

‘You better.’

Stormy laughs nervously. He looks back at Apple Bloom. ‘Come on. Let’s get some dinner. I’ll call Sweetie Belle. I’m sure she’ll love hearing about our adventure today.’

Apple Bloom just nods and reads as she is levitated onto Stormy’s back. The young stallion trots off with his passenger. Rei shrugs and heads back into the main room.

‘Ryu-kun! Do you have any more aisu?’

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Starlight returns for Apple Bloom, if just for a moment.

Story Event: So, Stormy figures out who Starlight is without ever meeting the other unicorn. I hope I have provided enough clues to who Starlight is so that you could figure out who he is by now. Maybe more than just his identity has been revealed too...

Big Trouble in Little Crystal Empire

Main Characters: Twilight, Del, Shining Armor
Cameos: Cadence, Yamazakura
Original Start Date: June 6, 2013

‘Sunshine! Sunshine! Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!’ Twilight and Cadence sing before hugging each other.

Shining Armor groans. ‘Do you have to do that every time? We could be facing imminent peril.’

The princesses glare at the prince.

‘Or whatever answer allows me to keep my marraige and family intact.’

Twilight laughs. ‘It is so good to see you too, Shining.’ She hugs her brother. ‘So why did you invite me back to the Crystal Empire?’

‘We’re facing imminent peril.’

The young princess facehoofs. ‘Seriously.’

‘That is the truth, Twilight,’ Cadence joins. ‘There is a threat against the Empire.’

‘You could have told me that before I got here!’ Twilight groans. ‘And here I thought this was going to be a fun trip with my daughter...’

Cadence and Shining stare in shock. ‘You have a daughter?’

Twilight begins to answer, but a palace attendant interrupts.

‘Um, Princess Sparkle, do you by chance happen to own a small wendigo the size and shape of a blue pegasus filly? Because one just happened to eat the entire reception Princess Cadence had planned.’

Twilight giggles. ‘Oh, Del.’

‘You brought Del with you?’ Shining gapes.

‘No, no,’ Cadence says. ‘This might work out.’

Another attendant lures Del into the throne room with a donut on a stick. The crystal pony has to hurry to stay ahead of the hungry pegasus. Twilight laughs at the sight.

‘I figured this would be good time for us to bond since I am marrying her father,’ the younger princess explains. She snaps her attention to her brother. ‘Nopony told me about a threat to the Empire.’

The attendant shrieks when Del jumps her and devours the donut.

‘More please!’ the filly asks, smiling, her fangs shining.

‘There will be more later, Del,’ Twilight replies. ‘We’re meeting my brother and Princess Cadence now.’

Del lets the attendant free and trots over. She bows. ‘Hello, Hearty Princess, Sexy Armor.’

‘Del!’

‘What? That’s what daddy calls him.’

‘Meep,’ the prince squeaks.

Cadence giggles. ‘Good to see you again, Del.’ She nods to the attendants. ‘You may go and tell Sir Yama he may join us now.’

The attendants nod and leave.

Twilight thinks. ‘Yama... You mean..?’

‘Correct, Princess Sparkle,’ a new voice replies. A red pegasus in royal guard armor trots into the room and bows. ‘I am here, my princess.’

Del looks at the new pony, then perks up. She trots over to him and extends a hoof. ‘Hi! I’m Del! Good to meet another changeling!’

‘Nice to meet you, Del,’ Yama replies. The filly clears her throat. ‘I mean, Princess Del.’

Del smiles again, revealing her fangs. She drops her disguise. ‘No need to hide around me. It is safe; right, Shiny?’

The prince scratches his head. ‘Well, I don’t know...’

‘Drop your disguise,’ Del orders.

Yama looks down at Del, up at Shining. He salutes and drops his disguise. ‘Yes, my princess.’

Del’s smile grows.

Shining groans, ‘Great! Outranked by my wife, my little sister and now my brother-in-law’s kid! Is there anypony in the military I can command?’

Twilight sighs at her brother, then looks at Cadence. ‘I think it is time you told me what is going on here.’

Cadence leads her guests out to a balcony. She looks over the city. ‘We are under attack. A few days ago, a crystal ewe was found drained of its energy.’

‘The manner is consistent with a changeling attack,’ Shining adds. ‘We have done our best to cover up the incident so as not to start a panic, but we have not found the culprit. I called up Yamazakura to help with the investigation.’

‘That is why you called me too,’ Twilight guesses. ‘Since I have a lot of experience with changelings.’

‘And not just raising them,’ Cadence laughs as she wraps a wing around Del.

The younger princess nods. ‘What has been done already?’

‘I have searched all the common hiding places changelings tend to use,’ Yama reports. ‘My patrols have turned up nothing.’

‘Have you checked with Chrysalis if this is one of her hive or from another?’

The guard shakes his head. ‘It would not be from our hive. Our queen has decreed that any changeling that drains lifeforce from another being is not welcome in her hive. This changeling is either from another hive or rogue.’

‘Dang,’ Twilight snorts. ‘Then we can’t just have Del order it to reveal itself.’ She sighs and thinks. ‘I want to look over the evidence tonight. It will help with the investigation tomorrow. Don’t worry. We’ll catch this rogue changeling.’ She trots off the balcony. ‘Now, I believe you have a reception planned.’

The hosts look at Del, sigh and hurry ahead of their sister to make sure everything is in order. Twilight laughs and follows. The changelings resume their disguises. Yama stops Del before she can leave.

‘Princess, though your presentation has been kept under wraps publicly, your father shared a video with our queen of what was said and how you reacted. The whole hive is quite proud of you. We hope deeds like that will one day allow more of us to live without hiding.’

Del smiles. ‘Thank you, but I’m just a filly, you know?’

Yama laughs and escorts the filly away.

Shining Armor wakes in the middle of the night. He follows a sound out of his bedroom. The prince traces the noise to one of the place kitchens. The only light comes from an open refrigerator. The unicorn slowly advances with a spell charged on his horn. The raider turns and looks at him with glowing green eyes. A loud, high-pitched, fillyish scream fills the palace.

‘Ugh. Shiny screams worse than the mean pink one,’ Del groans as she uncovers her ears.

Shining pants, clutching his heart. ‘Del?’

The changeling eats a dish of leftovers. ‘Yes?’

‘What are you doing up?’

Del eats another dish of food and rolls her eyes. ‘What does it look like?’

‘That is not what I meant.’ The unicorn shakes his head. ‘Come on. Let’s get back to bed.’

‘I’m not tired. Let’s play a game!’

Shining groans. ‘Del...’

The changeling impales a soda on her fangs and jumps on Shining’s back. ‘Let’s roll!’

The unicorn groans again and trots away while his rider enjoys her drink.

Shining yawns as he leaves on patrol with Yama. Twilight laughs and trots away with Del. The filly licks her face and wings clean after a big breakfast, then starts taking in the city. She smiles and greets all the crystal ponies she meets.

Twilight laughs. ‘We’ll have to take in the sights after we’re done helping my brother.’

Del nods. ‘And we have to get more crystal cakes too.’

‘I’ll warn the bakers.’ Twilight stops and looks around. The crystal ponies go about their daily lives. ‘Hmm. Del, if you were a changeling hiding in pony society, where would you be?’

The filly rubs up against the princess. ‘Right here.’

‘Thanks for the caring, but this is serious.’

‘No, I mean it. Right here.’ Del looks around. ‘We’re in the market. There are ponies everywhere where they can get love either directly or passively’ -- a crystal pony trots by carrying a large basket filled with berries -- ‘and there are other good reasons to be here too,’ she drools.

‘Good point.’ Twilight looks around again. ‘Any idea where to look first? Do you sense anything out of the ordinary?’ She gets no response. ‘Del?’

The princess sighs and starts checking the food stalls. She trots right past Del. The filly is watching a harlequin doing tricks and stunts for a group of gathered foals. She yawns and moves on. Not finding Twilight, Del continues to explore the marketplace.

The filly passes several stalls. Most are crystal ponies selling goods to regular customers and tourists. Some shops run by ponies from Equestria and one from the Thestral Empire sell their imported wares. Del watches the shoppers and yawns. She decides to head back to the castle, not wanting to get lost in the strange city. On her way back, she notices a griffin in the crowds of ponies.

The griffin walks past the shops, stopping to look a moment at each one. Del notices the griffin is not looking at the wares but at the shoppers. The griffin lingers around a crystal pony for several seconds. It licks its beak, and a hint of fang can be seen. Del growls and steps forward. Before the filly can get anywhere, she is wrapped in a purple aura.

‘There you are!’ Twilight scolds. ‘I’ve been looking all over for you.’

‘The griffin,’ Del warns. ‘That’s the changeling.’

Twilight looks around. ‘What griffin? Where?’

‘You didn’t see her? She was orange and brown. She was going to every stall.’

‘I’m sorry, Del. I don’t see anypony like that.’

‘Then we must protect that pony.’ Del points. ‘She was watching him very closely.’

‘I’ll talk with that pony and tell Shining. You wait here and don’t move.’

Twilight releases the filly and goes to the pony. Del sits and watches her. She looks around. She sees a pair of glowing eyes in an alleyway. A group of ponies pass, and the eyes are gone. Del snorts and waits for Twilight to return.

Later that night, Shining patrols the palace. He checks down every hallway and behind every unlocked door. He stops by a dining hall and snorts. His ears twitch and he levitates the table.

‘Found me!’ Del cheers. ‘Now, you hide and I seek!’

‘No, Del.’

‘Okay. I’ll hide again.’

A rose-colored aura surrounds the changeling before she can run off.

‘Time for bed, Del,’ Shining moans. ‘How your father puts up with all your energy...’

‘I spend a lot of time playing with my friends, so I’m usually tired when I get home,’ Del explains. ‘Daddy says that he likes playing with you, so I figure I should play with you too.’

Shining shudders. ‘What you are thinking and what he is thinking are two different things.’

‘I know. He is thinking of the kind of thing he does with Sparkly Mommy.’

Shining stops, closes his eyes and counts to ten as he tries getting that thought out of his mind. When he opens his eyes, Del is gone. The stallion moans again and begins hunting for the filly again.

In the morning, Cadence has breakfast with her family. The princesses plan out their day. Del eats everything in sight. Shining sips his coffee and tries to regain his energy after a night spent playing with his future niece. A guard enters the dining room and salutes.

‘Sir, there has been an incident,’ the guard reports.

‘What is it?’ Shining asks.

‘A changeling was found in a residential area. It is Yamazakura.’

Shining and Twilight meet with Yama in a military clinic. The doctor is wrapping the changeling’s chitin in bandages. He already has a bandage on his neck and legs.

‘What happened?’ Shining asks.

Yama groans and tries getting up, but the doctor forces him down. ‘I was watching the crystal pony Princess Twilight had alerted us to. Some time during the night, another changeling showed up. Princess Del was right. She was orange and brown. I fought to protect the crystal pony and was able to drive the changeling off. She got a few lucky hits in, though.’

‘Thank you for protecting the innocent,’ Twilight thanks.

‘Just give me a moment,’ Yama begs. ‘I can be back out there. I should be back out there.’

‘Not until you’re healed,’ the doctor orders, forcing her patient back into bed.

‘You heard the doctor,’ Shining adds. ‘You’re grounded until you’re better.’

Yama sighs. ‘Yes, sir.’

Del climbs onto the bed and kisses the changeling on the cheek. ‘A little love to make you better.’

The changeling laughs. ‘Thank you, princess.’

The visitors leave the patient to recover. The two adults plan their next course of action.

‘The city is worried about a changeling attack,’ Shining sighs. ‘Hopefully, word will get out that it was only one of my guards and not something to be scared about.’

‘Well, at least the state of worry will make the idea of draining love seem unpalatable for a while,’ Twilight laughs nervously.

‘The changeling would just need to target a couple deeply in love,’ Del says. ‘She wouldn’t need to target the city as a whole.’

‘Great,’ Shining huffs. ‘We can’t police every couple in love in the empire.’

‘Want me to check Cadence in case she is the one replaced again?’ Twilight offers.

‘Not funny.’

‘Why not ask the pony we were guarding?’ Del asks.

‘That is a good idea,’ Shining agrees.

Twilight nods. ‘You do that. I’ll check the market again. Come along, Del.’

‘Can I go with Uncle Shiny?’ the filly asks. ‘I might be able to help him more.’

‘You’re not going to hide everywhere we go, are you?’ the stallion asks.

Del rolls her eyes. ‘Why would I do something silly like that? This is serious times.’

Shining sighs. ‘I guess it is okay if Twilight says so.’

The princess nods. ‘Just bring her back safe.’

Del laughs and jumps on Shining’s back. ‘Away!’

Shining groans and trots away with his passenger while his sister giggles at him.

Shining and Del meet with the pony Del saw in the market the day before. He looks very nervous due to heightened changeling awareness in the city. The filly looks around the house while the prince interviews the pony.

‘Sorry for being on edge,’ the pony says. ‘The changeling was found near here. I hope it wasn’t after somepony I know.’

‘That changeling is actually in my personal detail,’ Shining explains. ‘He was patrolling the city for me.’

‘D-does that mean there is another changeling in the area!’

Shining shakes his head. ‘There is no reason assume that. I am just wondering if you saw anything last night.’

The pony shakes his head. ‘N-nothing. The only thing that I was expecting last night was a visit from my fillyfriend.’ He blushes. ‘We were actually getting pretty serious recently.’ He laughs. ‘I’ve had to explain a few love bites to my friends...’

Shining notices a couple bite marks, with puncture wounds, on the pony’s neck. ‘You might want to tone down the foreplay if you don’t want her to drain all your love.’

The pony laughs again. ‘I hear that.’

Del trots into the room. She looks around and nods towards the door.

‘I think you have helped us enough,’ Shining says, joining the filly. ‘Don’t worry. Everything is perfectly safe. Thank you for your time.’

Shining turns and opens the door, right as a pegasus mare is about to knock.

‘Oh! Prince Shining Armor!’ the mare gasps. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘We were just investigating the attack on one of my soldiers last night,’ the prince answers. ‘You didn’t happen to see anything, did you?’

‘Not a thing,’ the mare replies. ‘I was with my coltfriend for most of the night. Right, honey?’

‘Yes, dear!’ the crystal pony replies.

‘Thank you, ma’am.’ Shining bows. ‘We’ll be going.’

Shining and Del trot away. The filly looks back. The mare glares at her before entering the house.

Del looks up at the prince. ‘Shiny...’

‘I know. We can’t confront her yet. I’ll have ponies watching until she is alone, then we’ll take her in.’

Del growls and looks back.

Later in the evening, the pegasus mare leaves the crystal pony’s home. She calmly trots down the street before slipping into an alley. She heads down the alley.

‘I know you’re there, dear prince.’

Shining steps out in front of the mare. A pair of guards step out behind her.

‘You are under arrest for attacking a royal guard,’ Shining says.

The mare smirks. ‘Doubly so, too.’

‘Please surrender now if you don’t want to be harmed.’

‘Funny. I was about to make you the same offer.’

Shining charges a spell on his horn. The mare darts back and kicks the guards in the chest. Shining shoots his magic bolt. The mare drops her disguise, revealing a changeling with brown chitin and orange hair, and counters with a bolt of her own. The shot overpowers his and knocks him into a wall. The changeling steps over the prince.

‘So much love from that one, but far more from you.’ The changeling grins, baring her fangs. ‘No wonder that loser queen went after you.’

The changeling opens her mouth to drain the energy from the prince. There is a loud hiss. Del leaps from the darkness and latches on to the changeling’s throat. The changeling hisses and shakes the smaller one free.

‘My sister is not a loser!’ Del hisses.

‘I was wondering if you were going to show up,’ the changeling replies. ‘Finishing you off will be the ultimate proof Chrysalis is misguided in her efforts for peace.’

‘She is right! Changelings are just like normal ponies!’

‘We are monsters! Just look at you! You’re a freak!’ She smirks. ‘And from what I have heard about you, you are a freak among changelings too.’

Del growls and bares her fangs.

‘Face it, kid. You are a monster like the rest of us. You just have to accept it.’

‘I AM NOT A MONSTER!’

Del roars and leaps at the rogue changeling. The smaller changeling latches her fangs into the larger one’s throat again. The rogue expected the attack and forces Del off. She charges a spell on her horn and fires. Del stands her ground as the magic bolt shoots at her. The shot is deflected by a purple barrier. The rogue changeling backs away as Twilight Sparkle lands in the alley. The princess overflows with magical energy.

‘You will not harm my daughter!’ the princess threatens, tapping into the Royal Canterlot Voice.

The changeling tries fleeing, but she is trapped in a magic bubble. Twilight nods at her handiwork and turns to Del. The young changeling resumes her disguise and looks away.

‘Sorry for sneaking out, mommy.’

‘Thank you for saving my brother.’ Twilight looks at Shining, who is regaining consciousness. ‘He needs that from time to time.’

Back at the Crystal Palace, Cadence is getting debriefed by Shining and Twilight.

‘The changeling confessed to being rogue and operating alone,’ Shining reports. ‘We had her under a truth spell the whole time, so we know she isn’t lying.’

‘The stallion she targeted is recovering,’ Twilight reports. ‘She really was impersonating his fillyfriend. Thankfully, she was just tied up in her home and not something worse.’

‘It seems as though you handled the situation very well.’ Cadence bows. ‘Thank you for your help, Twilight.’

‘Actually, we couldn’t have done it without Del,’ Shining adds. ‘She helped a lot.’

Cadence giggles. ‘I know. That is why I told the chefs to prepare a feast in her honor.’

The throne room doors open. A chef, covered in food stains, trots in.

‘Sorry to interrupt, your majesties,’ the chef says. ‘But do one of you own a small blue timberwolf? Because one just ate the entire feast we were preparing for young Miss Del.’

Cadence laughs while Twilight and Shining groan.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: Del helps save the Crystal Empire for the first time.

Number of Times Del Eats Everything in the Crystal Empire: ~~1~~ 2

Story Event: This is the last chapter before everything is full finale mode. Just a fun little Del chapter. Unlike the other fun little adventures in the end, I haven't figured out how this one will feature in later chapters. I might not, but who knows. The future is malleable.

This One Time at Camp...

Characters (Human): Twilight, Lyra, Vinyl, Fleur, Silver Fox, some jerk, Twinkleshine
Characters (Pony): Twilight, Lyra
Original Start Date: May 13, 2013

‘PLEASE!’ Lyra begs, holding onto Twilight’s hind legs.

‘No!’ the princess shouts back. ‘That is reserved for my friends!’

The unicorn lets go and pouts. ‘No fair. I am being dumped for them again.’

‘Well, last time, you were one of Chrysalis’ mind-controlled slaves.’

‘I want to be a bridesmaid for a royal wedding!’ Lyra screams as she tantrums. ‘I thought we were friends.’

‘When did I ever give you the impression we were friends?’

Lyra’s jaw drops. ‘You honestly don’t remember all the time we spent together.’

‘Knowing you now, I likely blocked it out.’

‘We were the closest of friends. The bestest of buds. The cherriest of colas.’

‘What?’

‘Until I met Bon Bon, you were the most intimate partner I ever had.’

Twilight turns, wings flared, horn overflowing with magic. ‘WHAT!’

‘Figure of speech. We were too young to do anything before you left for that awesome school and I became a famous lyrist.’

Twilight groans. ‘I did not have any friends before I came to Ponyville.’

‘But all our time together...’

‘Lyra, there is nothing you can say to make me believe we were ever friends.’

‘Nothing?’

Lyra sits on a bus bench all by herself. She does not mind since her CD player has fresh batteries, and her new handheld game is really enticing. Around her, the other kids chat or play with their distractions too. Across the aisle from Lyra, Twilight Sparkle is buried deep in a book. The young girl seems oblivious to the world around her. The bus comes to a stop, and the kids only get louder. The teachers get the kids to settle and collect their things before exiting.

Lyra sighs as she stands with her class. They are at a camp in the mountains. Buses from other schools empty their students as well. Lyra takes off her headphones so she can listen to her teacher.

‘...And don’t forget to always buddy up if you go anywhere. Remember: the buddy system saves lives,’ the teacher states. ‘Now, we’re going to let you pick your cabinmate. Once you have picked your partner, come see me for a cabin assignment. Keep in mind, you two will be paired with a group from another school. Choose wisely since you will be sharing a room together for a while.’

The kids start milling about as they pick their cabinmates. At the back of the class, Twilight stares at the ground as the other kids pass her by. Lyra snorts, pushes through everyone and grabs Twilight’s hand. The younger girl gasps as she is dragged forward.

‘What room do we get?’ Lyra asks.

The teacher looks at the girls. ‘Are you two sure about this?’

Twilight looks at Lyra. The older girl smiles at her. The younger girl looks down again and nods.

Lyra puts an arm around Twilight and grins. ‘See! We’re the best of friends! Have been since first grade. The great Lyratastic and Sparklerific!’

Twilight giggles at the nicknames.

The teacher sighs and writes their names on a clipboard. ‘You’re in cabin 42. You’ll be sharing with some students from the art school. That should fit your personalities well enough.’

‘Sweet. Artists. I hope they’re cute,’ Lyra says as she drags Twilight away.

They make their way through the camp. Other kids are meeting their cabinmates from other schools. Lyra slows as she takes in the camp. She even lets go of Twilight’s hand.

‘W-why did you pick me?’ Twilight asks.

Lyra smiles and looks back. ‘Cause we’re buddies! I’d never let anything happen to my best friend.’

‘W-we’re friends?’

Lyra laughs. ‘You are the funniest, Twilight. Ah! Here we are.’

The older girl leads Twilight into a cabin. Twilight nervously looks around then goes to the nearest bed. While her friend goes back to her reading, Lyra tries to pick a bed. She settles for sleeping across from Twilight. The older girl unpacks her clothes and other supplies and sits on her bed playing her lyre.

‘I don’t care if you think I would look “banging” in your glasses. I still think they are gauche,’ a voice says outside.

‘Ah, come on!’ another voice begs. ‘Ya ain’t gonna make it as a model if you are picky like that.’

‘And you are not going to make it with your friend if you are as classless as that.’

The cabin doors open. A statuesque young woman with flowing pink hair enters, followed by a scruffy-looking girl with electric blue hair wearing large purple sunglasses.

‘That hurts. Hurts deep, yo,’ the scruffy girl snorts, setting her bag on Twilight’s bed.

‘Um, excu-’

‘It is the truth,’ the other girl replies. ‘If you ever want her to think of you as anything other than a ruffian, you have to clean yourself up.’

‘Your bag is...’

‘Tavi and I are best friends. We know each other’s tricks. She’s chill with me as I am.’

‘Chilly is more like it.’ She looks around. ‘Not to mention, you are making such a wonderful impression on our new friends.’

‘You started it!’ The girl raises her shades. ‘Sup,’ she greets Lyra.

‘I think you put your stuff on my friend’s bed.’

The girl looks. Twilight tries hiding behind her book as she watches the new person. The girl quickly grabs her bag.

‘Sorry ‘bout that. Didn’t see you there.’

‘Of course not. A lady removes her sunglasses inside.’

‘These were a gift from Tavi. I ain’t ever taking them off unless I’m dead.’

The other girl rolls her eyes. She extends a hand to Lyra. ‘It is pleasure to meet you. I’m Fleur de Lis. You can call me Fleur.’

Lyra shakes the hand. ‘Sweet. I’m Lyra. She’s Twilight.’

Twilight waves from behind her book.

‘I’m Vinyl Scratch!’ Vinyl announces as she flops on her bed. ‘But one day you’ll know me as DJ Pon3!’

‘You are so clever,’ Fleur moans.

‘Hey! Nobody will ever take it. Not to mention it is completely BA!’

Fleur sighs and starts unpacking. She stops and looks back at Lyra. ‘Lyra Heartstrings?’

‘You got it!’ Lyra grins.

The other girl’s jaw drops. ‘You could buy this summer camp. Why are you here?’

Lyra shrugs. ‘Dunno. Fun? Someone has to keep Twilight out of trouble.’

Twilight squeaks as she tries to read.

‘She famous or something?’ Vinyl asks.

‘The Heartstrings are only one of the richest families on the planet. They probably pay for your scholarship.’

‘Awesome! I totally owe you for that.’

‘It is o-’

‘No way! I will totally pay you back even if it means working for you the rest of my life.’

Lyra laughs. ‘I’ll hold you to that.’

Fleur looks over at Twilight. ‘How about you? Are you famous too?’

‘N-not really. No.’

‘Twilight’s a super genius!’ Lyra cheers. ‘She’s, like, three years younger than me and gets the best grades in school. She even got picked to be Princess Celestia’s personal apprentice starting in the fall.’

‘That is so amazing!’ Fleur gasps.

‘I-it is nothing really. I’m just a girl, you know?’

Loudspeakers crackle outside. Attention, campers. Please report to the main hall for orientation followed by dinner.

Fleur sighs. ‘I guess we’ll have to get to know each other later.’ She looks at Vinyl. ‘Or in her case, she’ll tell you everything about herself while eating.’

‘Dude! I have better manners than that,’ Vinyl huffs.

Twilight giggles. Lyra sets down her lyre and hops off the bed. The others leave their things and head to the main hall, but Twilight brings a small book.

After dinner, the girls lay on their beds. Twilight reads. Lyra and Vinyl compare music collections. Fleur listens to her friends as she brushes her hair.

Lyra looks through a small sampling of Vinyl’s CDs. ‘You really listen to a lot of things.’

‘You have to have a large collection if you want to be a DJ,’ Vinyl replies. ‘You never know what the crowd wants to hear.’

‘She mostly blares that electronic stuff,’ Fleur groans.

‘You don’t have to listen to my techno if you don’t want to.’

‘Does that mean I can mute you when you are within five meters of me? I think that is the minimum radius of intrusion.’

‘Not cool.’

Lyra looks at the other girls. ‘You two have a thing?’

Vinyl falls over laughing. Fleur groans and rolls her eyes.

‘I would never consort with someone so classless,’ Fleur sniffs. ‘We know each other from a common friend.’

‘Dang.’ Lyra frowns. ‘I would have guessed you were going to be a singer or something.’

‘Hmpf!’ The other girl poses. ‘Can’t you tell I am going to be the world’s biggest model?’

‘She totally is,’ Vinyl agrees. ‘You saw the way she ate at dinner.’

‘At least she got the food in her mouth,’ Lyra counters.

‘Whatevs.’ Vinyl leans back. ‘What about you? Lyra the Lyrist?’

Lyra smiles. ‘Well, I have won some junior music competitions. … Okay. Tied. But that is only because that damn fiddle player has an in with the judges.’ She falls back. ‘Whatever. Not many people play the lyre these days. I’ll be in high demand. Perfect for funding my real talents.’

Fleur raises an eyebrow. ‘Which are?’

Lyra sits up and poses. ‘Aliens.’

‘Aliens aren’t real,’ Twilight comments from her book.

Vinyl jumps. ‘Whoa! Forgot you were there. You’re really quiet.’

‘Well, I prefer quiet when I am reading...’

‘With how much you read, I’d think you’re going to grow up to be a librarian,’ Fleur remarks.

‘I’d like to teach like my parents, but librarian doesn’t sound too bad,’ Twilight replies. ‘Not every girl grows up wanting to be a princess or some such nonsense.’

‘Right on!’ Vinyl agrees, extending a fist towards the other girl.

Twilight leans away from the perceived attack.

Lyra facepalms. ‘It is a fist bump, Twilight. She is trying to be friendly.’

‘Oh.’ Twilight tentatively reaches out and barely taps Vinyl’s fist before backing away. ‘Did I do that right? I haven’t seen anything like that in my books on social behaviours.’

‘You’ll get it one day, sister,’ Vinyl replies.

Twilight grunts and sets down her book. ‘Um, I’d like to get ready for bed now.’

‘I agree,’ Fleur agrees. ‘It is getting late.’

‘Yeah. We have a couple weeks to get to know each other,’ Lyra adds.

‘Um, I mean I would like to change...’ Twilight corrects.

‘Go ahead,’ Lyra replies.

Twilight blushes. ‘C-can I get some privacy?!’

‘It ain’t like you have something we never saw before,’ Vinyl laughs.

Twilight squeaks and shrinks back.

Lyra sighs and gets up. She pats Twilight on the back. ‘There, there. No need to be shy with us.’

‘C-can I get the cabin to myself?’

‘If you want to be alone, you can get a stall in the washroom,’ Fleur suggests.

‘W-will one of you go with me? The teachers said we have to use the buddy system...’

Lyra looks out a nearby window. ‘It isn’t too far. You’ll be fine on your own. It is safe.’

Twilight looks out the window. She bites her lip as she thinks. She takes a deep breath and nods. ‘Right. I’ll be safe. Shining said I’d be safe at camp.’

The young teen gets out her pajamas and goes to the door. She looks back. The others smile at her. Twilight half-smiles and exits.

Vinyl huffs and rolls her eyes. ‘And I thought Tavi’s quirks were weird.’

‘Be nice. She is scared,’ Lyra scolds. ‘I think this is her first time away from her family.

‘And you just turned your scared friend loose in a co-ed summer camp at night?’ Fleur questions.

‘Come on. You have to do something like this at least once in your life,’ Lyra argues. ‘She will get comfortable going out on her own, or she will get comfortable changing with us. Speaking of which...’

Lyra goes to her bed and pulls off her shirt.

Vinyl grins. ‘Whoa! Free show!’

‘Ha, ha.’ She looks at the others. ‘If anyone is a show, it is Fleur.’

The girl gasps and covers her chest. ‘And I thought the boys and girls at school were bad.’

Vinyl’s grin grows. ‘I had PE with her last year. She didn’t need floats in swimming class.’

Fleur gasps again and turns around. She gathers her things and gets up. ‘I think I am going somewhere more private.’ She goes to the door, hoping to catch Twilight. ‘Twilight! Wait up!’

The younger girl is just outside. ‘I got scared...’

Fleur smiles and takes Twilight’s hand. ‘Come on. Let’s get ready for bed.’

They leave together. Lyra shrugs and goes back to changing. Vinyl looks over at her new friend.

‘Excited to see me?’

‘Nope. Just really cold.’

Vinyl laughs and lays back on her bed.

There is a loud ‘thunk’ as Vinyl wakes up. The girl rubs her head as she sits up on the floor. She adjusts her sunglasses and looks around. Twilight sits on her bed and reads.

‘About time you got up,’ the younger girl huffs. ‘It is almost noon.’

‘That early?’

Twilight sighs. ‘At least you’re up in time for lunch. You can go with me. We’re supposed to use the buddy system...’

‘Sweet. Let’s roll.’

‘Give me a moment to finish this part.’ Twilight looks at the other girl. ‘I can look away if you want to change.’

‘Change?’

‘You know, put on something clean.’

Vinyl sniffs her shirt. ‘Nah. I’m good.’ She adjusts her glasses. ‘Whatcha reading?’

‘It is a book on physics. My coursework with the princess will be demanding, so I want to read ahead.’

Vinyl smiles. ‘With your brains and interests, you’ll end up marrying a physicist.’

Twilight blushes. ‘What?’

‘Come on. A cute, smart girl like you will definitely get the smart, handsome guy of your dreams.’

‘H-he wouldn’t have to be handsome as long as we have fun and adventures together.’

‘Ya don’t be to be a rodeo star, pilot for the Wonderbolts or captain of the royal guards to have adventures. I’m sure you’ll get some guy ya like and be great together.’

Twilight sighs, puts away her physics book, gets another book and stands up. ‘L-let’s go to lunch.’

The girls leave their cabin. Vinyl stretches and yawns. Twilight keeps glancing at her book and sighing.

‘What’s your lunchtime reading?’ Vinyl asks.

‘Oh, uh’ -- Twilight blushes -- ‘Daring Do and the Enigmatic Scientist.’

‘Ha! Told ya that you’re going to marry a great scientist.’

Twilight squeaks and clutches her book tight. The pair approaches the mess hall. Lyra and Fleur stand outside. They wave their friends over.

‘Nice of you to show up,’ Fleur greets.

‘Told ya we didn’t need to get them,’ Lyra gloats.

‘Thanks for waiting,’ Vinyl laughs. ‘Or did Fleur eat everything already?’

The young model puffs her cheeks and turns away. The other girls laugh and go inside. Fleur sighs and follows. As she is getting her tray, she notices a younger girl walk past a table. The girl slips an item of another kid’s tray as she passes. She looks around and sees Fleur watching her. She sneaks away as best as she can, Fleur watching the silver-haired thief the whole time. Lyra grabs Fleur’s arm and drags her back to lunch.

Back at the cabin, Twilight is in her usual reading position. Fleur sits on her bed working on a craft. Lyra and Vinyl enter the room singing a song together.

♩ … You don’t ask why when it is Lyra and Vinyl! ♫ the friends sing.

Fleur rolls her eyes. ‘That is the exact opposite of what you should be doing.’

‘Ah, come on, Fleur,’ Vinyl moans. ‘We’re just having a little fun. You probably had fun once and didn’t really care for it.’

‘I am not saying your song isn’t fun. It is just misleading.’

Lyra flops on her bed. ‘What are you making?’

Fleur smiles. ‘I started this earlier in the crafting class.’ She holds up a flat, purple and pink object. ‘It is a bookmark for Twilight. I figure she might need one.’ She gets up and goes to Twilight’s bed.

Twilight looks up from her book. ‘Th-thank you. It is nice. I’ll use it with my next...’ She reaches for her bag and gasps. ‘Oh no!’

‘What is wrong? Did you lose something?’

‘I’m almost out of books...’ Twilight frowns. ‘I thought I brought more with me. What am I going to do for the rest of this trip?’

‘How many did you bring?’ Lyra asks.

‘Ten, plus some of my favorites to reread.’

‘You read ten books in two days!’ Vinyl gapes.

‘I was really bored...’

‘Well, there are plenty of other things to do,’ Fleur replies. ‘We can do crafts together.’

‘Or we can hang out with the band,’ Lyra suggests.

‘Not to mention cool stuff like hanging at the lake or doing archery and stuff,’ Vinyl adds.

‘I’d probably hurt myself or someone else if I tried archery,’ Twilight counters.

‘You’re probably right,’ Lyra laughs.

The girls laugh. Fleur goes back to her bed and gets out her sleepwear.

‘Care to join me again, Miss Sparkle?’

Twilight nods. She puts her new bookmark in her book and gets out her sleepwear. The two girls make their way towards the washroom.

‘Ten books in two days?’ Fleur asks.

‘I really was bored! I thought they would have lasted longer...’

‘You really should come out more. Don’t you want to spend time with your other friends from your school?’

Twilight looks away. ‘I don’t have any friends. I spend most of my time studying.’

‘You’re such a wonderful young girl. I bet a lot of people would love to be your friend.’

‘I...’ Twilight tries to think of an excuse. ‘I have more important things to do than worry about friendship.’

Fleur sighs. They reach the washroom. A small line greets them. The girls wait for their turn. Fleur talks with some of the other girls. When it is their turn, the silver-haired girl passes Twilight and Fleur.

‘You go ahead of me,’ Fleur says. ‘I think I saw someone.’

Twilight nods and goes to change. Fleur follows the silver-haired girl. The girl tries ducking around a cabin, but Fleur’s longer reach catches her.

‘Do I know you?’ the model asks. ‘I swear I have seen you at school.’

‘I don’t go to your school,’ the girl replies, avoiding eye contact.

‘Really? Huh. I think I saw you in a couple of my classes.’

‘I’ve attended your classes, but I don’t go to your school.’

‘Hmm. Sneaking into a private school? Such a daring thief.’

‘I-I want to learn acting. I’m only good at breaking into things, but I want to do something else that isn’t, you know, illegal.’

Fleur glares at the other girl, then smiles. ‘When we get back from camp, I want you to come over. I think you might fit in my old uniforms. It will help you fit in better.’

‘Really? Thanks.’

‘I’ll try helping you lay low while you’re here too, though I may ask for favors in return.’

‘Anything. I’m happy for the help.’

‘First, we’ll have to do something about your sleeping arrangements...’
…

‘Ladies, this is our new friend...’ Fleur introduces.

‘Silver Fox. Nice to meet you,’ the girl greets.

Lyra and Vinyl wave. Twilight hides behind a book and whimpers.

‘So, uh, where’re ya staying?’ Vinyl asks.

‘That is Vinyl,’ Fleur says. ‘You don’t have to listen to anything she says. None of us do.’

‘She does have a point though,’ Lyra counters. ‘Oh, I’m Lyra.’

‘Miss Fox can stay with me,’ Fleur states. ‘I really don’t mind.’ She sighs, ‘Feels like I’m back home and my parents are scolding me for bringing home a stray cat.’

Lyra lays back in her bed. ‘Just do what I do and buy an animal shelter with your allowance.’

‘Enterprising,’ Fleur sighs, sitting on her bed. She looks at Silver and pats beside her.

Silver looks around the room. ‘Okay. Just to get it straight. You’re Fleur, Twilight, Vinyl and Lyra, right?’ The others nod or thumbs up. ‘Thank you for allowing me to stay with you. I promise to pay all of you back for your hospitality.’

‘Whatevs!’ Vinyl replies. ‘Just don’t mess with my stuff, and I’ll let ya keep your teeth.’

Silver huffs as she lays beside Fleur. ‘I might have a certain set of skills, but I only use them when needed.’

Vinyl grins as she lays down. ‘You, me and Tavi’s underwear drawer when we get back. Cool?’

Fleur and Silver groan at the request. Lyra goes to the light switch.

‘Lights out, Twilight.’

The young girl groans, gets out a flashlight and pulls her blanket over her. Lyra turns out the lights.

Lyra, Vinyl and Fleur float on an inflatable raft out on the lake. Other kids play on shore or have rafts of their own. A group of boys try to get the relaxing girls’ attention. Vinyl splashes them as she rows away.

‘Something I’ve been meaning to ask...’ Lyra begins. ‘How did you two meet? Was it through that “Tavi” person you mention?’

‘I wish,’ Vinyl laughs. ‘Nah. It was through my cousin Rarity. She’s a budding fashionista.’

‘Vinyl told me she needed a model for a small show, and I was happy to help out,’ Fleur adds.

‘Rarity, huh? She any good?’ Lyra asks.

‘She has a lot of promise,’ Fleur critiques.

‘I ain’t really into that fashion stuff,’ Vinyl says.

‘Big surprise.’

‘But I wouldn’t mind playing her shows,’ the DJ finishes. ‘She’s only a little older than Twilight, but she’s the coolest cuz. Well, my little cuz Sweetie Belle is cool, too. She loves playing with my music.’

‘Ugh. I hope she grows up emulating her sister, not her cousin,’ Fleur groans.

Vinyl laughs and splashes another group of approaching boys.

Lyra thinks. ‘Then who is “Tavi”. Is she your girlfriend?’

‘She wishes,’ Fleur laughs. ‘Octavia is pretty frigid to her advances.’

‘Octavia!’ Lyra sits up, rocking the raft. ‘You’re dating the damn fiddle player!’

Vinyl grins. ‘Yeah. Tavi is great. We’ve been friends for years.’

‘Does she know that?’ Fleur asks. ‘It doesn’t seem like she cares for you.’

‘Ah, it is just a game we play. She acts cool, but she’s a real softy. Just wish she could have made this trip.’

‘Right. You would be bugging her instead of me this whole time.’

Vinyl laughs. ‘Well, maybe not like this. We’d want you around to float us home if the raft flipped over.’

Fleur growls and looks away. She glances back at Lyra. ‘What about you and Twilight? I see more of a big sister thing than a best friend thing.’

Lyra sighs. ‘I’ve tried being her friend since grade school. She’s a great kid, but she doesn’t really seem to care about friendship.’

‘I’m sure she’ll come around. I mean, she went on that nature hike on her own.’

‘Yeah... On her own... Just hope she is doing okay.’

Twilight crouches by a rotting log. She keeps checking a book as various bugs crawl before her.

‘Miss Sparkle!’ a teacher snaps. ‘We don’t have all day!’

Twilight jumps up and rejoins a group of students. ‘Sorry. I was just checking my books to identify what we are seeing...’

‘You can do that on your own time,’ the teacher snorts. ‘You’re missing seeing other sights and holding up the trip.’

‘I’m sorry...’

The teacher sighs and leads the class along. Most of the other students laugh and whisper about Twilight getting scolded. The young girl follows at the back of the group, keeping her head down.

‘So, what have we been seeing?’

Twilight looks up. A pale girl with light purple hair smiles at her.

‘The teacher doesn’t really seem to know anything,’ the girl says. ‘Have we missed anything interesting?’

‘I don’t think so...’ Twilight replies. ‘I was just classifying the various decomposers back there.’

‘Cool.’ The girl extends a hand. ‘I’m Twinkleshine.’

Twilight nervously shakes her hand. ‘My name is Twilight Sparkle.’

Twinkleshine laughs. ‘It must be a sign that we are destined to be friends. We have similar names.’

‘Predestination is impossible according to all the known laws of physics.’

The other girl laughs again. ‘Oh, I am so sticking with you. You’re a fun one. I have to introduce you to Moondancer when we get back.’

Twilight thinks. ‘Why does that name make me think she runs around with no pants on?’

Twinkleshine roars with laughter. ‘That’s a great one! Just don’t tell that to her. She might not like it.’

Twilight sighs and joins the new girl as they follow the teacher through the forest.

‘My feet are so sore,’ Twilight moans into her pillow at the end of the day. ‘I wish I had wings to just fly everywhere.’

Vinyl snorts with laughter. ‘You with wings. That is just ridiculous.’

‘I was planning on spending the day on the lake again,’ Fleur says. ‘You can always join me there.’

‘It would be a good time to catch up on my reading...’

Fleur giggles. ‘I bet you’ll turn a few heads in your swimsuit, too.’

‘I, uh, didn’t plan on swimming, so I didn’t bring one.’

‘I’m sure you can borrow one.’ Fleur looks at the swimsuits hanging to dry. ‘You look to be about Lyra’s size. You can try it on while she’s out.’

Twilight looks behind her. ‘Where is she?’

‘She and Silver left a while ago to investigate your new friends,’ Vinyl reports. ‘Totally doesn’t make her seem needy at all.’

Twilight groans and buries her head in her pillow. ‘They aren’t my friends. Twinkleshine just started following me and insisted on introducing me to Moondancer. It is going to be a pain dealing with them in the fall.’

‘You’re going to the same school as them?’ Fleur asks. ‘That is good that you’ll be starting off with some friends.’

‘But they’re not...’ Twilight groans. She covers her head and pulls a book in with her.

The others sigh and wait for their friends to return.

Twilight joins Fleur on the shore of the lake. The younger girl is trying to keep to herself and read, but the older girl is getting a lot of attention from the other kids, mostly the boys. A small group of boys from a military academy keep circling around the relaxing girls.

Fleur sighs and looks at her friend. ‘Twilight, what are you reading?’

Twilight flinches and replies, ‘Daring Do and the Enigmatic Scientist.’

‘I thought so. That has to be the second or third time I’ve seen you reading that. Is it your favorite in the series or something?’

‘Well, uh, not really. It is just...’ The younger girl frowns into her book.

‘Just what? I promise not to tell anyone.’

Twilight blushes. ‘Um... The story on its own isn’t that good, but I like the side love story. Seeing Daring so head over heels in love with the scientist, but his devotion to the other woman... I wish I were the other woman sometimes... when I’m feeling really lonely...’ She sighs and stares at the ground. ‘I read this book a lot...’

Fleur sits up and pats her friend on the back. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure you’ll find a wandering physicist to love you some day.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Hey, pretty lady,’ an approaching blue-haired boy says to Fleur. ‘How would you like to hang with me for a while?’

Fleur frowns as she looks the guy over. ‘What is your name, sir?’

The guy poses. ‘Flash Sentry. And yours?’

The girl’s glower intensifies. She turns to Twilight. ‘This, Twilight, is the type of guy you want to avoid. They are gold-diggers who only care about women for their bodies or their title. Promise me you will never date anybody like him.’

Flash snorts and turns away. ‘Whatever.’ He sees Twilight looking at him. ‘What are you looking at, nerd?’

Twilight squeaks and goes back to her book. Flash storms away, back to the academy students.

Fleur glowers, then looks at her friend. ‘I’m sorry you had to see that.’ The other girl does not look up from her book. ‘Want to go back to our cabin?’ Twilight nods without looking up. ‘Come on. Let’s go.’

Fleur helps Twilight up. She packs up their things and guides her reading friend away.

After lights out, Fleur holds a small meeting with Lyra. They sit in a corner beside Fleur’s bed. The cabin door opens, and Silver joins the conspiring girls.

‘Okay. I left a note tipping off the teachers to search your “friend’s” cabin tomorrow,’ Silver reports. ‘What was this for again?’

‘The guy insulted me and upset Twilight,’ Fleur replies. ‘That will not stand.’

‘So, what are they busting him for?’

‘Just a porn stash,’ Lyra informs. ‘He doesn’t really have anything else to bust him on.’ She looks at Fleur. ‘I’m surprised he hit on you. My intel says he is more into guys than gals. … Oh. That is another thing they can bust him for.’

Fleur grimaces. ‘I take it you mean a double meaning of the word “into”.’

‘No hanky-panky is one of the camp rules.’

‘Not to mention most of us are underage,’ Fleur sighs. ‘Just hope this didn’t scar Twilight.’

‘Yeah...’ Lyra moans. ‘The guys at school tease her enough already. Being this far from her family to cheer her up can’t be good.’

‘I’ll hang with her tomorrow.’

The girls look. Vinyl is laying on her bed, facing her friends.

‘We can totally share music and books and stuff,’ the girl suggests. ‘I totally don’t mind.’

‘I guess that will work,’ Fleur sighs. ‘Show her she has friends that care.’

‘I’ll see if there is a way we can get away for a bit,’ Lyra adds. ‘According to Twinkleshine, she knows a lot about nature, or at least has read a lot about it. She might make a good nature hike guide.’

‘Ooo. That sounds fun,’ Fleur coos.

Silver yawns.

‘Seconded,’ Vinyl agrees. ‘If ya get any more plans, leave a note or something.’

Vinyl rolls back to her bed and puts on headphones. The other girls stand and go to bed. In her bed, Twilight smiles and wipes a couple tears away.

‘Thank you,’ the girl whispers.

‘LYRA IN THE CABIN!’

‘Shh!’ Twilight hisses. ‘We’re reading.’

‘Thank god you’re back,’ Vinyl moans. ‘We’ve just been reading and talking about music history all day. It is like being back at school.’

‘You were the one who wanted to talk about music.’

Fleur giggles. ‘Sounds like we missed some fun, but we have some good news of our own.’

‘Lay it on us.’ Vinyl grins.

‘Well, we talked with the teachers, and they will allow us to borrow a tent and go camping for a couple days.’

‘Aren’t we doing that already?’ Twilight asks.

Lyra sits on the young girl’s bed and puts an arm around her. ‘Real camping, Twilight, my friend! Out there, in the wilderness, under the stars. Camping.’ She pauses for a few seconds. ‘Does anyone here know how to do real camping?’

Twilight huffs. ‘We’re a bunch of rich girls from the city. I don’t think we know how.’

‘Silver might.’

‘Well...’ Fleur replies. ‘Since she isn’t really a student, we couldn’t get her name on the release forms. Besides, she is willing to watch our stuff if those boys try to do anything in retaliation for busting them.’

Twilight moans and raises her book again.

‘No worries, Twilight,’ Lyra assures. ‘We have a map to a good campsite, and we’ll get enough supplies. It will be a great break from everyone.’

Twilight moans again.

‘That’s the spirit! Fleur and I will get everything. You two just keep doing what you’re doing. Back soon.’

The girls leave again. Vinyl sighs.

‘Do ya have any extra batteries? I think our CD players will need them.’

Twilight also sighs, and keeps reading.

The four girls trudge through the forest with laden backpacks. Except for Lyra, everyone is tired and panting. The green-haired girl is in high spirits and plays songs on her lyre.

‘All right!’ Lyra cheers. ‘That was a fun one. Any requests?’

‘Free Bird,’ Vinyl pants.

Lyra shrugs and starts playing.

‘Are we anywhere near the site?’ Twilight groans.

Fleur checks the map. ‘It should be soon. We’ve been following the path the teachers showed us. They said it was only a couple hours hike until the clearing.’

‘I hope so,’ the younger girl growls. ‘My legs are itchy, and I want to take a shower.’

‘There won’t be a shower at the campsite, but it will only be a short walk to a stream if you want to wash up.’

‘Wash... up... Out here? Where people can see me?’

‘It ain’t like you have something we never saw before,’ Vinyl laughs, as she holds up a lighter for the song.

Twilight growls and keeps hiking. Lyra finishes her song and stretches her fingers. Vinyl puts the lighter away before something bad can happen.

‘Okay. One last request because I think we’re here,’ Lyra says.

The group reaches a small clearing. There is a small stone circle at the center and a wooden table to one side. The girls set their packs on the table and look around, not knowing what to do next.

‘So, uh, who knows how to set up a tent?’ Lyra asks.

After a hectic time setting up their tent and starting a campfire, the girls sit around cooking their dinner. All are getting frustrated as everything comes out burnt.

‘This is why Spike does all the cooking,’ Twilight grumbles.

‘Butler?’ Vinyl asks.

‘Sorta like a little brother. We’ve been taking care of him since I was little.’

‘Ya make your brother do all the cooking? Lucky.’

‘I have butlers,’ Lyra replies.

Fleur fakes a gasp. ‘Really? I would never have guessed.’

Vinyl starts dishing out the attempt at dinner. ‘So, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to ask the past few days. Why’d ya sign up for summer camp?’

‘Boredom,’ Lyra replies. ‘I didn’t want to sit around the mansion alone all summer, so I came here to see all my friends again before the next concert season.’

‘All my friends were signing up, so I joined in too.’ Fleur snorts, ‘But they all backed out a couple weeks before camp started. I know who I am not hanging out with next semester, Jet Set and Upper Crust...’

‘Neat,’ Vinyl replies. ‘I really didn’t have anywhere else to go this summer. Better than staying at home, waiting to hang with Tavi.’ She looks at Twilight. ‘What about you, kid?’

Twilight sighs. ‘I didn’t want to go to camp. My parents and brother Shining convinced me to sign up. They said I’d be safe and have fun...’

‘Ya made some new friends, didn’t ya?’ Vinyl grins.

Twilight looks at the others. They smile back at her. She half smiles and starts eating her dinner. The others dig in too.

‘So, Twilight, ever read a book on camping?’ Fleur asks.

‘You mean besides Daring Do?’ Twilight thinks. ‘Well, I have this one book on sleepovers, but I have never used it.’

‘You’ve never had a sleepover?’

‘Well, uh, I’ve always wanted to have one...’

‘Oh, we have to hang out this summer, darling.’

Twilight sighs and tries eating in silence.

The next morning, Lyra and Twilight are out exploring the area. They sit by a stream and soak their feet. Lyra plays a song on her lyre.

‘You’re really good,’ Twilight compliments.

‘Yep! I rock!’

The younger girl giggles. She looks over and sighs. ‘Lyra, we’ve had classes together forever, haven’t we?’

‘Yep! We’re best buds!’

‘Right... but we never did anything together outside of school. Why do you keep saying that?’

Lyra thinks. ‘Didn’t you get any of the invitations to my birthday parties? I could swear I gave them to you personally.’

‘I... I was too shy to go.’

The older girl puts an arm around the younger. ‘Then Fleur isn’t the only one you should hang out with this summer!’

Twilight squeaks and balls up. ‘I’d rather just start Celestia’s school. Seems like a better use of my time.’

Lyra growls and pushes away from the other girl. ‘What do you have against making friends? It is like you go out of your way to push us away. This why everyone teases and bullies you. Hell! I bet someone trapped on the moon for a thousand years would have better social skills than you!’

Twilight flinches. ‘Why are you saying that? I thought you said we are friends.’

‘I’m saying this because I am your friend, and I don’t want to see you get hurt by your stubbornness.’ Lyra kicks the water. ‘You need to loosen up. Go play model with Vinyl’s cousin. Crash a family reunion and eat all their food. Go to a party and drink a bottle of hot sauce. Something! It isn’t like you can connect a computer to the rest of the world and talk to people without seeing them...’

‘Actually, a computer development team has found a way of communicating via “the internet”. You just have to have properly configured software. I read it in a book my mom got for me.’

‘Arg! That’s my point. You are always in a book, not talking to people. Tell your parents to get you that software. You can use it to actually talk to someone.’ She pokes Twilight. ‘Maybe you’ll even find the scientist guy you’re always moaning about.’

Twilight stands and turns away. ‘I’m going to get my stuff and go back to camp. You three can have fun out here on your own. I’m just going to stay in our cabin until it is time to go home.’

The young girl storms away. Lyra groans. She picks up her lyre and puts on her shoes. She catches Twilight at the edge of the campsite.

‘Hey, Twilight. Listen, I’m sorry...’

‘Kuma.’

‘What?’

‘Kuma. Kuma. Kuma.’

‘In English please?’

Twilight point. ‘Ku-ku-ku-bear!’

Lyra looks at the campsite. A brown bear is eating their supplies.

‘Oh! That’s why the teachers said to hang the food from a tree.’

‘Bear!’

Twilight screams and runs away. The bear looks up. Lyra turns and follows. The bear snorts and keeps eating. A yawn comes from the tent. Vinyl opens it up and looks out. She shrieks and drops to the ground. Fleur moans as she wakes.

‘What is all the screaming about?’

‘There is a bear outside.’

Fleur pales. ‘A bear? As in...’

‘This ain’t The Jungle Book. It doesn’t look like it is the singing type.’

‘You never know. Try singing a song for it.’

The bear burps as it looks up from its meal. It meanders around the camp. It starts rubbing against a tree near the tent.

‘Or panicking sounds nice too,’ Fleur agrees.
…

Twilight keeps running and screaming far from camp. She runs across the river and through the woods. She stumbles and crawls atop a small hill. The young girl balls up and cries. Lyra runs up a second later.

‘Okay’ the older girl pants. ‘I think I know the way back. If we take our time, the bear might be gone. We’ll just head back to the camp and pass out for the next couple days.’

‘I wanna go home,’ Twilight whimpers. ‘I am not having fun. I am not safe. Mom lied to me. Shining lied to me. I want to go back to my room and stay there until I begin my studies with the princess. I hate it here!’

Lyra extends a hand. ‘That sounds like a great plan. Let’s do it.’

Twilight slaps the hand away. ‘Go away! You said this would be fun and relaxing! You lied! I hate you!’

‘Calm down. Let’s get back to somewhere safe. Everything is going to be fine.’

The younger girl stands and back away. ‘No, it is not! Things are very not fine! I am surrounded by liars!’

Lyra reaches out again. Twilight takes a step back and trips over a branch. She tumbles down the hill, into a tree and hits her head.

‘Twilight!’ Lyra starts looking for a safe way down.

Twilight moans and looks around. Everything looks fuzzy. A dark form stands over her. She is lifted up.

‘Don’t worry. You’re going to be okay.’

Twilight tries opening her eyes. ‘Enigmatic physici...’

‘Close enough. Now, you’ll hear an odd whirring, but it will make you feel better.’ The form looks away. ‘Pinkie, get me a bandage from the...’

Twilight does not hear the rest as she passes out.
…

Vinyl and Fleur cower in their tent. The bear has moved on from itching itself to digging through their backpacks again. The DJ groans as she sees dozens of CDs get smashed.

‘I’d rather die than lose my music,’ Vinyl moans.

‘Ugh. I’ll buy you new ones.’

‘Thanks, Fleur.’

The other girl looks over. ‘I didn’t say anything.’

‘Then who..?’

A small figure in a white robe and cowl drops in front of the tent. ‘You look easier to take down than Kaeko.’

The figure. motions to the bear. The creature looks back and grunts. The person throws a rock at the bear. The beast turns and slashes at the small attacker, who leaps back. The bears groans, but notices the tent. It starts lumbering towards the hiding girls. Vinyl and Fleur scream. The bear roars and slashes the tent. The hooded person drops from a tree and kicks it in the head. The bear rises and roars at the attacker. The person runs forward and slices its arms outward. Blades appear from under the robe and cut open the bear’s stomach. The attacker jumps and jabs upward, stabbing the bear through the head. Fleur and Vinyl creep out as the bear falls.

‘Such a waste of a beautiful creature,’ Fleur sighs, looking at the bear.

The hooded person wipes off the bear’s blood on some ruined clothing. Vinyl adjusts her sunglasses.

‘Thank for the help,’ the DJ says.

‘You always need me watching your back...’ the person sighs. ‘Probably had to break a few rules just to save your sorry butt.’

‘Do I know you?’

The person turns, leans up and kisses Vinyl on the cheek. ‘You’re so silly, Pon3.’

The savior jumps into a tree and quickly disappears into the forest. Vinyl blushes bright red. Fleur starts picking up the remains of their camp.

Twilight moans as she wakes up. She is laying on a bed in the camp’s infirmary. A nurse and an uniformed young man with striped blue hair stand by the bed.

‘Shining?’ the girl whispers.

‘Twily!’ Shining cheers.

Twilight holds her head. ‘What are you doing here?’

Shining hugs his sister. ‘I was part of the detail from the academy sent to retrieve some disruptive cadets. My CO allowed me to stay when we heard you were injured. They called an ambulance for you. I’ll ride with you to the hospital.’

‘Shining...’ The younger sister starts hitting her brother. ‘You said I would be safe! You liar! I am hurt and sweaty and I was attacked by a bear! You meanie!’

Shining laughs. ‘That’s my adorable little sister.’

Twilight frowns. ‘At least you’re here now. … Meanie.’

The injured girl looks around. She spots Lyra and Fleur peeking into the room. Vinyl, Twinkleshine and another girl sit outside, looking in. Twilight smiles. A siren is heard drawing near. Shining squeezes his sister’s hand.

‘We’ll be getting you home soon. Don’t worry,’ the big brother assures.

‘C-can I have a moment with Lyra and Fleur?’ Twilight asks.

‘Of course.’

Shining leaves to get Twilight’s friends. Fleur checks out the young soldier as she enters the room. The nurse helps Twilight sit up so she can hug her friends.

‘I am so sorry I was a jerk this whole trip,’ Twilight apologizes.

‘It is okay,’ Fleur assures.

‘We forgive you,’ Lyra adds.

‘I... I saw him.’

‘Saw who?’ Fleur asks.

‘The Enigmatic Scientist. He saved me when I fell.’

‘I don’t remember seeing anyone else out there,’ Lyra lies. ‘The three of us took turns carrying you back to camp.’

‘Oh, hush,’ Fleur scolds. ‘If she saw him, then he was there. You shouldn’t doubt our friend.’ She smiles at Twilight. ‘I believe you, my friend.’

‘I’ll never forget your friendship,’ the younger girl says, crying. ‘I hope we can remain friends forever.’

‘I’m sure we will,’ Fleur laughs.

‘You’re the best, Twilight. Of course, I’ll never forget you,’ Lyra replies, smiling.

The EMTs enter the infirmary. Twilight sighs and lays back, ready to be taken away.

Twilight stares at Lyra in shock, tears streaming down her face. The unicorn smiles as she finishes her story.

‘I remember,’ Twilight gapes. ‘I remember all of that. I can’t believe I had forgotten.’

‘I’d never forget my best friend,’ Lyra replies, smiling.

The princess searches for the right words. ‘Y-you can’t be one of my bridesmaids, but I would love you at my wedding.’

Lyra’s grin grows. ‘I’d be there anyway. The best mare invited me.’

‘Rei...’ Twilight growls. She smiles. ‘She is such a good girl.’

‘Well, if I can’t be a bridesmaid, then I’ll be happy to see your special day,’ Lyra sighs.

‘You better. I want all my friends there. … And make sure your wife makes us, er, me something special.’

The unicorn laughs. ‘Of course she will.’ She goes to the door. ‘See ya, around buddy.’

Twilight laughs and closes the door behind her friend. She sighs and goes to her room. She trots to her bed and opens the book she is reading. She levitates a purple and pink bookmark. Twilight smiles, puts it back and gets out her mobile.

‘Fleur? It is me, Twilight Sparkle. … I know it is a little last minute, but can you make it to my wedding? I would love to have all my friends there.’

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: Applejack gets some upsetting news.

Story Timeline: Twilight remembers her old friends and invites them to her wedding.

Story Event: So, that will be the only mention of Flash 'Brad' Sentry in TWP. What happens to him before the start of the series is left up to the reader. Whatever his role in the canon is, he is a non factor by the time of TWP, especially since he is just a gold-digging asshole at heart, no matter what other media might try to have us think. (Surprisingly nailed his canon role too...)

Fun Fact: Twilight's reaction to the bear was inspired by Mint reacting to the space station full of monkeys in Galaxy Angel. If you don't get the joke there, look up their Japanese voice actress. I've been wanting to make a Mint reference since I found that out.

Remember way back when I wrote this chapter then it turned out everypony mentioned really were Twilight's lost friends.

Chapter 99

Main Characters: Yes
Cameos: Also, yes
Original Start Date: September 24, 2011 and 99 more times afterwards.

Note: For new material, search ‘Deleted Scene’ and enjoy.
Characters featured (search): [TWP], [Twilight], [Pinkie], [Luna], [Fluttershy], [Applejack], [Rei & Inkie], [Del], [Celestia], [Stormy & Trixie], [The Trio ad Libitum & Daring Do], [CMC], [Etc?]

[TWP]

01 - A New Challenger Appears

The strange stallion places his hoofprint on the contract. The shopkeeper grins and rolls it up.

‘I’ll take care of this on my way out of town’ and to a well-earned, permanent vacation. ‘I hope you don’t mind starting work right away.’

The shop’s new owner has already hooked a Super Neightendo up to a television and places Equestriabound into the slot. ‘Oh. I am set.’

‘I can see that.. Anyway! I will be on my way.’ The shopkeeper puts on a hat and starts heading out of the door, then he stops. ‘Oh! I forgot to ask, but since I know the authorities will, what is your name.’

The mysterious stallion looks over his shoulder and smirks. ‘They call me, The Wandering Physicist.’

07 - Tea with The Doctor

‘Ever wonder about the name I chose?’ James asks.

‘Which? You have a different one depending who you ask,’ The Doctor replies.

‘What profession do you know that has the undying urge to try new things? To experiment and learn new things? To want to touch two bare wires to the tongue to see if they carry a live current?’

The Doctor thinks. ‘That name really fits now that you say it.’ Pauses. ‘Also, the Schism would have scattered your atoms across time and space.’

‘Wouldn’t that be cool?’

‘No. No, it wouldn’t.’

‘Come on. Haven’t you ever just wanted to reach out and touch it? Know what it feels like, what is smells like, what it tastes like?’

‘I think I was right. You are completely bonkers.’

‘I never said I wasn’t.’

09 - Rage of a Time Lord

Twilight sits down and leans against the door. She gets out The Missing Physicist’s mobile and clutches it to her chest. She tries using her magic to get a clue to the barrier, but all of her spells fail. She sighs and waits. After what feels like forever but is really only a couple minutes, she hears a sonic screwdriver activate and the door unlocks. Twilight is instantly up and through the door. The door reseals itself after she is through.

The apartment is dark despite it being the middle of the afternoon. Twilight looks around desperately. Nothing looks as if it has even been thought about in the past week. Twilight eventually sees a small crack in the bedroom door.

‘Mr Wanderer?’

She spots him on his bed, facing away from the door. She cannot tell if he is alive since she see no movement, not even breathing. She steels herself and dares to climb up next to him.

‘I am sorry if I am intruding, but I will not leave your side.’

Getting no response, she lays away from him and sighs. Suddenly, a foreleg goes around her midsection. Twilight is shocked. She is even more shocked when another foreleg goes under her and the two lock her in a tight grip. The feeling of a muzzle strikes between her wings. Twilight sighs contently and pats the hooves that are around her.

Another shock hits Twilight. It is slightly noticeable at first, but then it becomes clear. She can hear The Crying Physicist bawling his eyes out. Twilight tries to resist, crying too, but she gives in and starts crying too.

The pair cry together for hours. Eventually, The Silent Physicist stops, but the silence between him and Twilight continues. The silent laying eventually turns into sleeping. Twilight quickly loses track of time. When she reawakens, she is certain it is the next day. She shifts a little, and The Wandering Physicist does not seem to react. Suddenly, she is squeezed again.

‘Confound you ponies.’

‘Huh?’

‘You know how to ruin a perfectly good bad mood.’

28 - Temporary Templar

The Wandering Physicist thinks. ‘Why not do some physics?’

‘Ya mean somethin’ like that relativity stuff ya taught us?’ Apple Bloom asks.

‘Not necessarily relativity since that is hard to test on the small scale, but there are all sorts of applied physics in everyday life,’ The Wandering Physicist explains.

‘Great. Here we go.’ Scootaloo rolls her eyes.

‘You can do astronomy and cosmology just by gazing through a telescope. The simple act of surfing is practical use of oceanography. Every rock we see is the product of geology and vulcanology, all of which are governed by everything from basic mechanics to thermodynamics even to quantum interactions. There is a whole world of physics around us!’

‘Cool!’ The young fillies cheer.

‘Boss, you’re drooling again,’ Lucas mumbles.

31 - A Trixie Situation

The Wandering Physicist awakes in a pitch black realm. Around him a number of other ponies are awakening as well. Most are his friends. A light appears above the gathered ponies, and Alphonse and Maxie appear.

‘Greetings, my little ponies,’ Alphonse jeers. ‘You have been... shall we say, “selected” to help us with a little negotiation of ours. See, your friend The Wandering Physicist is holding something very important to me, and I want it back. To do so, we have trapped you in this little illusion. You will awake in a matter of hours feeling refreshed... Well, some of you may. I’ll let my son explain.’

Maxie steps forward and smirks at The Wandering Physicist. ‘The rules of this little game are simple. You will be sent to a dream realm and tasked with surviving. Given your friend’s profession, I found it fitting to pick video game worlds as your test. If you get a game over in your game, you will not be joining us in the waking world. Likewise! If your character does not survive the game, it was nice knowing you.’

‘There you have it,’ Alphonse states. ‘Play your game and survive or die trying. … Although, there is another way out.’ He turns and glares at The Wandering Physicist. ‘You could turn Trixie over to me and the illusion will drop. Give her to me and all of your friends’ lives will no longer be in jeopardy.’

The Wandering Physicist looks around at all of his friends. Most are giving him encouraging looks. The rest are still trying to figure out what is going on. He looks up at their captors.

‘Go buck yourself.’

A number of ponies cheer at the response. Alphonse continues to glare down.

‘Fine. If you happen to change your mind, just tell us. We’ll be waiting.’

The unicorns disappear. One by one, all of the ponies start disappearing as well. Soon, everypony gathered is plunged back into darkness.

48 - A Well-Earned Break

Days later. James and The Doctor are having lunch at a cafe. They are on an alien planet. They watch as strange, hairless bipedal apes walk past them.

‘Theta.’

‘Yes, James?’

‘You know how you say your adventures are sometimes like great novels?’

‘Of course. Just the other day Derpy and I had an adventure with...’

‘That is all good but...’ James sips his drink and sighs. ‘Just sometimes I feel like my adventures are in bad fan fiction.’

72 - A Gift From a Friend

A television and a couch float in a dark void. The television displays the end of Twilight’s confessions. Two figures sit on the couch. James wipes the tears from his eyes after hearing what Twilight said to him. A lion paw offers a tissue.

‘Thank you,’ The Emotional Physicist mumbles. ‘Thank you, Discord. That was wonderful.’

‘Happy birthday, James.’

‘Happy birthday, Discord.’

The Wandering Physicist embraces Discord. The lord of chaos hugs the smaller pony back before snapping his fingers, breaking his spell.

James rolls over in his bed. He sighs and wipes some happy tears away while reaching for his mobile. He sighs when he looks at the time.

‘Happy birthday, me.’

77 - A TWP Hearths Warming

‘Anything else in that infinite bag of yours?’ Night Light asks.

Twilight smiles at her coltfriend. Her family exchange glances and lean forward. Rei hides her game again and looks at her father. James laughs and reaches into his bag. His hoof touches a small purple box and recoils. He looks down and tries reaching again, but his leg will not move.

James looks up and smiles at everypony. ‘I guess not at this time. Hey! Who is up for a game? We have Cards Against Ponies.’

The family sighs. Twilight looks around, not knowing why they reacted that way. She levitates a box of cards and starts setting up the game. James looks back at his bag.

Soon... The stallion thinks as he turns to the game.

[Twilight]

03 - Gaming is Magic

‘Oh! You’re a little famous, but I guess you are used to it, being an Element of Harmony and princess and all.’

‘How do you know all of that?’

‘I have my ways.’ The Wandering Physicist smirks. He then glances to one side and nods towards a magazine rack.

Twilight gets the hint and takes out the magazine on display. She opens it up and immediately sees an ad for a new game: ‘The Elements of Harmony 2: Discord Edition.’

‘Oh, please,’ Twilight groans as she rolls her eyes and starts reading the magazine.

There are a few moments of awkward silence between the two ponies. Twilight looks up from the magazine and looks at The Wandering Physicist. The Wandering Physicist stares back. Their eyes meet, and both blush slightly.

13 - Free Press

The Wandering Physicist starts going for the door, but Twilight holds it closed.

‘If you were to choose one?’

‘I, uh, left my answer in the TARDIS. Let me get it. Alone.’

17 - Origins

The Wandering Physicist smiles and watches his friend leave.

‘Do you love her?’ a voice says from The Wandering Physicist’s shoulder.

‘What do you think?’ he replies. He turns and looks at Discord again.

‘You have to tell her.’ Discord sighs, ‘I missed my chance last time.’

‘Is any of what you showed me true?’

‘Does it have to be to have meaning?’

‘Are the Daleks really coming?’

‘In my time, they were here by now. It seems your Equestria is free from that fate so far.’

‘I have to go now.’ The Wandering Physicist turns and starts walking away.

‘You better tell her or I will find a way to tell her for you!’ Discord taunts.

The Wandering Physicist looks back. He grins smugly. ‘What makes you think she doesn’t already know?’

23 - A Date to Remember

The Wandering Physicist is standing there. He smiles from behind a bouquet of flowers. Behind him, Rei and Lucas watch from a relatively conspicuous location. All around, it seems their friends are watching from various vantage points without getting in the way of the couple. Twilight gets up from behind Pinkie and goes to the door. She levitates the flowers out of The Wandering Physicist’s grip.

‘Thank you. These are sweet.’

‘Both literally and figuratively.’

Twilight giggles.

‘No. I am serious.’ The Wandering Physicist replies.

Twilight giggles again as she sets the flowers aside. A silence falls over the couple. Their eyes meet, and they blush.

‘You look stunning,’ both say at once.

They both look away again. The Wandering Physicist is the first to look up.

‘Shall we go, Miss Sparkle?’ He offers a foreleg to hold.

Twilight takes the foreleg. ‘I would be delighted, James.’

The couple walk off together for their first real date.

33 - Final Boss

The Wandering Cloud is only meters away from Twilight. Twilight mouths ‘James’ as tears stream down her face. The Wandering Cloud leaps. He collides midair with a massive cloaked object. A blade, almost two meters long, falls to the ground and embeds itself in the stone. The Wandering Cloud and the object land in the pool beside Twilight. Twilight stares into the pool.

‘JAMES!’

Seconds later, The Wandering Cloud bursts from the water. He swims over to the sanctuary and climbs out. Twilight immediately wraps her forelegs around him and sobs into his chest.

‘You saved me, James! I cannot believe it. You saved me.’

The Wandering Cloud smiles and returns the hug. Applejack and Inkie gallop up. Applejack stops and smiles at her friends. The Wandering Cloud looks up and smiles at Applejack. Inkie disappears. The Wandering Cloud looks down and takes Twilight’s muzzle in his hoof. Applejack disappears. Twilight leans up and kisses The Wandering Cloud. The sanctuary and pool disappear around the couple. They break the kiss and stare into each other’s eyes.

‘I love you, Twilight.’

Twilight disappears before she can reply. James sighs and closes his eyes. The world goes dark around him.

40 - Meet the Sparkles

Back at The Power Block, James and Twilight are having a gaming night in for their date. They finish their current round of play, and Twilight gets up to stretch.

‘That was fun,’ Twilight says, turning her neck side to side.

‘Your dad asked if we had sex,’ James states.

Twilight freezes mid-stretch, causing her neck to give a loud pop. Her face blushes bright red.

‘I told him it would violate your privacy to even say whether we were intimate yet or not.’

‘R-right. Good,’ Twilight replies. ‘M-m-my privacy w-would have been violated. I-I-I w-would have b-been... By you... Excuse me!’

Twilight gallops to the washroom and locks the door behind her. James laughs to himself and turns up the game volume to give her a little more privacy.

41 - Vote of Confidence

The next Tuesday. James has a number of his friends over to watch the election. He shares the couch with Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie. Tim and Kaeko sit on chairs around the room. Rainbow Dash watches the television from her hiding spot in James’ TARDIS. The mayor is currently winning a landslide against Pinkie.

‘I could have had it...’ Twilight grumbles.

‘And if you won, you would have snapped at your staff your first week instead of at your friends during the debate,’ James comments.

‘That’s not true.’

‘You would have tried organizing everything you could. Nothing would get done,’ Pinkie says.

‘But...’

‘Not to mention your scheduling would have kept everypony busy at all hours of the night, making them tired and useless,’ Fluttershy adds.

‘Well...’

‘Worst, we wouldn’t have any more date nights,’ James finishes.

Pinkie and Fluttershy snap to attention then moan at their lost chance.

‘How am I doing?’ Rainbow Dash calls.

‘You’re losing to Skybound,’ Kaeko replies.

‘You didn’t remove your name from the ballot?’ Fluttershy gapes.

‘I thought I still had a chance.’

Everypony facehoofs.

‘Do you think I would have won?’ Twilight asks.

‘You would have slaughtered. That’s why we had to stop you,’ James says.

‘What?!’

‘I didn’t want you to be stressed out from the job,’ Pinkie says, ‘so I ran too so you would have somepony to get frustrated with and eventually yell at. It was only luck that AJ and Dashie ran, too.’

‘Pinkie came to me with her plan, and I took it to our group,’ James continues.

‘We all agreed that it was best for Ponyville if you did not run,’ Tim adds. ‘Besides, the mayor was willing to adopt a lot of your proposals. Some good came in the end.’

60 - Tomodachi Sketch

Amy settles into her seat and falls asleep. James closes his laptop. He looks around the cabin at all of his friends sleeping and smiles. He curls up on the seat so his muzzle is near Twilight’s.

‘Hey, Twilight.’

‘What?’ the mare groans.

Neither of them notice Shining Armor trot into the cabin on his way to the washroom. The stallion stops when he notices the couple awake.

‘I know this doesn’t mean I am cured or anything, but I haven’t felt lonely since the train station in Ponyville.’

Twilight looks up. ‘That is wonderful. That has to be your longest time since you moved to Ponyville.’

James nods. ‘Yeah... It feels really good. Thank you for being there for me.’

‘You know I will always be here for you. No matter what. I love you.’

‘I love you, too.’

The couple kiss and settle back down to sleep. Shining smiles and tries trotting across the cabin as quietly as possible.

‘Sexy,’ James mumbles.

Shining freezes and really hopes that the other stallion was talking to his younger sister.

70 - Human Twilight Sparkle [non-past simple verb] X

‘Well? What do you think?’ Twilight asks, a wide grin covering her face.

Lyra stares at the copy of the story in her hooves. Beside her, James is going through Twilight’s attached notes, correcting the science.

‘Well, it’s a thing,’ Lyra says, flipping through the few pages of writing.

‘What does that mean?’

‘Um, well, you mess up human anatomy and terminology on occasion. You have a giant, rambling rant in the middle. And I really don’t think you want your friends to see this.’

‘Why is that?’ Twilight snorts.

‘Applejack would have knocked you unconscious for what you said about her,’ James replies while editing, ‘and Pinkie might never speak to you again. Also, Lucas is straight.’

‘Well, they are smart enough to know that it is parody,’ Twilight retorts, secretly doubting her retort.

‘You also describe yourself a little too, uh...’ Lyra fumbles.

‘Perfect,’ James finishes.

Twilight growls and uses her magic to snatch the stories from her friends. ‘Fine! You don’t like them! It was only a first attempt anyway!’

‘I could give you some pointers,’ Lyra offers. ‘You are a very well-read pony. You could, theoretically, write a good story.’

‘According to her story, Celestia only theoretically controls the sun,’ James adds. He smiles at Twilight. ‘Glad to see you saw the light. … Pun intended.’

Twilight imagines the horrors she is about to put her coltfriend through. She shoves the story into Spike’s hands. ‘Get rid of these.’

‘Can do! But I did really liked the parts about me.’ Spike breathes his fire on the papers.

Twilight stamps her hooves and turns away from the others.

‘Was that magic fire or burning fire?’ Lyra asks.

Twilight’s eyes go wide and she turns to Spike.

‘Uh...’ The dragon starts looking for an escape. Suddenly, he burps out a scroll. ‘Oh, uh, mail! It is from... Princess Luna?’

Twilight shudders. ‘What does is say?’

Spike unrolls the scroll and starts reading monotonously, ‘BwahahahahHAhaHahahahAHA! HAHAHahahahahahahaHAHAHAhahaHahahA!’ He turns the scroll over. ‘HahahahaHahahHAHAhahahHAahHAHahaha...’

Twilight rips the scroll from Spikes hands. Her anger is boiling over and her mane is starting to sprout flames.

‘Uh... I know a good planet a few galaxies down where we might be safe,’ James suggests. ‘Might.’

The two ponies and dragon take off running right as Twilight releases her anger.

82 - Illusion of Ponyville

James gets up and hugs his fillyfriend. ‘I want to go home now.’

‘I know you do.’

‘I don’t want to be sad any more. I want to see our friends again. I want to spend time with my kids’ -- the two ponies change to James in a blue tunic and Twilight in a white dress -- ‘I want to be with you.’

‘I want to be with you, too, James.’

‘Just kiss her already!’

‘You heard the boat! Do it!’ Celestia adds.

The two ponies turn and glare at their audience. A blade of ice slashes at them, getting Celestia to dive underwater and hitting King of Red Lions. They look back at each other. Their outfits change to white and blue armor on James and a white and gold cape on Twilight.

‘I’ll love you forever, Twilight.’

‘If what you told me about your species is true, I know you will.’

‘And I want to spend it all with you.’

‘James...’

Twilight leans in and kisses James. The illusion starts dissolving around them. Celestia sticks her tongue at The King of Red Lions as the boat disappears. The princess looks around as Trixie and Daring appear beside her while the island evaporates. Each of the ponies poof out one by one. Twilight breaks the kiss and gasps when she gets a mental image of a small purple box hidden in Del’s room. James grins sheepishly as he leaves. Trixie breaths a sigh of relief when she becomes the last pony in her mind before she casts her final counterspell.

88 - League of Harmony (part 2)

Twilight Sparkle sits calmly on the throne in Canterlot castle. Her mane is disheveled. Her eye is twitching. She even looks like she is molting slightly.

‘Okay! We can do this!’ Twilight declares. ‘Fluttershy! Pinkie!’

The two ponies dash in front of their friend.

‘You two gather all the animals in the grand ballroom, and we can send them back to their cages en masse.’

The friends salute and gallop away.

‘Rainbow Dash!’

The pegasus flies to her friend.

‘Take all the royal guards and comb every centimeter of the sewers. We’ll find your missing Element of Harmony!’

Rainbow Dash salutes. ‘On it, boss!’

The pegasus flies away to continue her search. Discord walks forward with Applejack and Rarity.

‘Okay. I think I got it this time,’ the draconequus states, snapping his fingers.

The two mares look at their bodies.

‘Phew!’ Applejack sighs, seeing orange hooves again. ‘Feels good t’ be back t’ normal.’

‘I completely agree darl-’ Rarity stares at her friend. ‘Deary, why are you the size of Apple Bloom.’

The ‘mares’ take more time to examine themselves. They scream when they see they have been changed back into fillies.

‘I can fix this!’ Discord shouts.

Twilight laughs nervously and fiddles with her mane. ‘Don’t worry. We have a few hours until the princesses and James return. We can have everything fixed by then.’

A guard gallops in with a scroll. ‘This just arrived, Princess Sparkle!’

‘What does it say?’

The guard clears his throat and reads, ‘Twilight Sparkle. We are taking James’ ship home. We will be back in a few minutes. Princess Celestia.’

Twilight’s eye twitches a few times. She places her crown on the guard’s head. ‘You’re the new princess. Bye!’

The princess flees the palace as fast as her wings can carry her.

90 - The Ultimate Question

Twilight’s heart skips several beats as James steps forward. All of her friends try to contain their excitement. Celestia and Luna smile at the younger princess. Night Light hugs his wife to calm his nerves. Shining Armor can barely contain his liquid pride.

‘I’ve been looking for the right moment to ask this. It is something I have been meaning to ask for a while now. I’ve just been too scared. I’m sorry for waiting so long.’ James bows down and holds up a small purple box with a shining, horn-sized ring inside. ‘Twilight Sparkle, will you marry me?’

[Pinkie]

14 - Our Party

The Wandering Physicist is cut off when Pinkie’s lips touch his. The rest of the world disappears around them. They do not notice that Oatmeal howls in pain and disappears in a blinding flash. They do not notice that time returns to normal around them. They do not notice all of the comments about them.

‘About time she found somepony she likes.’

‘Wait. I thought he was with Twilight Sparkle. Does that mean I still have a chance?’

‘D’awwwww!’

‘Wait. I thought she was with Twilight Sparkle. Does that mean I still have a chance?’

‘I wish I had hands.’

‘Wait. I thought he was with Lucas. Does that mean I still have a chance?’

‘Ew! Gay!’

‘Ugh. They would probably have some crazy blonde pegasus as a foal.’

The pair finally break the kiss. They stare into each other’s eyes.

‘Would you believe that was my first real kiss?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘Right now, I would believe anything you tell me,’ Pinkie replies.

‘Feeling better?’

‘Never felt better.’

The Wandering Physicist and Pinkie kiss one more time before they get up to return to the party.

57 - F City, F Prefecture

Pinkie’s rump shakes briefly and she falls off the bed. She climbs back on. ‘Can you give me my backpack?’

‘Clean clothes or otherwise?’

‘The one with my stuff from Kyoto in it.’

Twilight rolls over and grabs the backpack for her friend. Pinkie starts digging through it. She tosses her dirty clothes about the room.

‘I think I am going to take our clothes to the laundry...’

‘Here we go!’ Pinkie holds up a small bag. It has Kiyomizudera markings. ‘You never asked what I got.’

‘It is just a bunch of trinkets...’

‘Don’t be that way. They are magic charms for guaranteed love.’

‘Oh, geez.’

Pinkie holds one up. ‘See, this one is for me and James.’

Twilight grumbles and keeps checking her mobile.

‘This one is... uh...’ Pinkie blushes. ‘You should look yourself.’

Twilight sighs and looks over. She slowly reads the texts on the charm. ‘ピンキーパイ... Okay, that’s you and... トワイライトスパークル... Oh!’ She blushes and tries hiding behind her mobile.

Pinkie’s blush deepens. ‘I know... I wasn’t going to... but after earlier... Anyway! Here! This is the last one.’ She puts a third charm in Twilight’s hand.

Twilight starts reading the charm. ‘Okay. That is me, again, and this is...’ She gasps. ‘Pinkie, this is...’

‘I know... I just want you two to be happy. Besides, I said I would share him with you. Every other weekend after we’re married.’

‘So you’re only going to see us every other weekend?’ Twilight laughs and hands the charm back.

Pinkie shakes her head and closes her friend’s hand around the charm. ‘No, that is yours and no, you can visit us and Rei every other weekend.’

‘Right. You are only going to visit us every other weekend.’

‘No. I said...’ Pinkie turns to glare at her friend. Twilight is giggling behind her mobile. ‘Oh. You are being tricky. You know what cures that, right?’

‘Why do I feel like my life is in danger?’

‘Tickles!’

Twilight screams as her friend tackles her and starts tickling her all over.

83 - James and Pinkie: Partners in Time

The closet door opens in The Power Block’s living room. Pinkie trots out, deep in thought. James follows and locks up. He pats Pinkie on the back.

‘Come on. Let’s do dinner. We’ve had a busy dayish period of time.’

‘Wait,’ Pinkie says. ‘We still have to settle the bet.’

James sighs. ‘I think it is settled. While we were able to help Rainbow Dash and her mother and it was fun caring for the foals, we didn’t really change anything with the foals and Raspberry... She refused your help outright. I hate to admit it, but I won.’

‘No, you didn’t.’ The mare shakes her head. ‘The bet was to make everypony happy. The foals had a great time with us. I was able to make my sisters and mother happy. And Raspberry...’ Pinkie smiles. ‘When I mentioned you, you should have seen how happy she was. Just the mention of your name filled her with joy. We really did make her happy, even if her cousin was a total flankhole.’

James smiles. ‘I guess you are right, Pinkie.’ He kisses her cheek. ‘So, what do we do now? Travel everywhere helping everypony?’

‘No. We don’t have to since you do that already.’ Pinkie gives James a big hug and kisses him. ‘You really are the greatest.’

‘I’m just a pony, you know?’

Pinkie laughs and kisses him again. ‘Oh, if we see Discord again, I’ll have to tell him my answer changed.’

‘Really? To what?’

Pinkie knocks James to the ground and pins him down. ‘Same thing Twilight Sparkle wants...’

‘Try to take over the world?’

Pinkie giggles and shakes her head. She leans down and gives the stallion a big kiss.

[Luna]

04 - The Royal Treatment

‘Excuse me, shopkeep,’ Luna starts.

The Wandering Physicist glances over towards Luna out of the corner of his eye, not even looking through his glasses. ‘Hey, Princess Luna.’

The Wandering Physicist and Luna immediately freeze. There is nopony else in the store to hear what was said. Luna is immediately terrified that her disguise has failed and that all of Ponyville knows of her presence. The prospect of Twilight Sparkle knowing, thus freaking out, as the kids these days say, and telling Celestia is not something Luna wants. The Wandering Physicist is simply shocked that such an important pony was in his shop.

Luna turns bright red in embarrassment. ‘Princess Luna? That is a nice compliment, but I am just a pegasus named Selene.’

‘You do know that once a perception filter is broken, the observer can see through your disguise.’

Luna’s eyes dart. ‘I knew that.’

08 - Interview with a Pony

‘What is your favorite type of game?’

‘Sandbox crime is fun. It feels good to play the villain sometimes.’

The Wandering Physicist just nods.

‘Final Fantasy games are good too since you always play as a persecuted youth fighting against an ancient, evil empire.’

‘Huh. I never noticed that.’ The Wandering Physicist once again says with a thick layer of sarcasm.

36 - The Princess' First Girlfriend

Luna and Cloudchaser laugh at the couple. Once they are gone, an awkward silence falls.

‘My first boyfriend was Discord,’ Luna says.

‘What?’ Cloudchaser is confused.

‘My first boyfriend was Discord. A long, long time ago. It was this whole... thing. Then I sealed him in stone.’

‘Why are you telling me this?’

‘Because, with him and James, I want you to know that all of my boyfriends have been pretty crazy.’

‘I heard that!’ is shouted from the hill.

Luna laughs. Cloudchaser continues to give Luna a confused look.

‘I make some odd choices when it comes to the guys I like. That is why I was so happy that the first girl I liked was someone so perfect.’

Cloudchaser blushes and looks away. ‘If this is some sort of stupid apology...’

Luna shakes her head. ‘No. I could never apologize for how I hurt you. Even another thousand years on the moon wouldn’t be punishment enough. But...’

Cloudchaser looks up. ‘But what?’

Luna leans in and kisses Cloudchaser. She takes Cloudchaser’s hand and hold it over her heart. Cloudchaser stares in shock.

‘But I think I am starting to understand what you are talking about.’

86 - The Real Nightmare

Luna, in her costume, is explaining her idea to a bemused Celestia. The older sister watches impassively as her enthusiastic sister speaks.

‘...And there will be costumes and decorations,’ Luna explains. ‘Everypony can give away candy and treats to each other. There will be games and dancing. Most importantly, there will be fun! There will be so much fun it will be double! The night will seem to last forever! Wouldn’t that be great, sister? Everypony will have fun and get to know me and we will all be happy.’

Celestia takes a deep breath and shakes her head. ‘Sister, you try much harder than you should. Do you really think ponies would want to come to a party you throw?’

‘It is a party! What does it matter who throws it?’

‘Oh, Luna, you will never learn. If you keep going down the path you are on, our subjects will never accept you.’

Luna growls and stomps the ground. ‘If I cannot interact with them, they won’t accept me either!’

‘Watch your temper, Luna. And take off that silly costume. You look like a foal.’

‘What’s the difference? You keep treating me like one.’

‘I am trying to teach you how to behave like an adult. You are the one who constantly flouts my teachings.’

‘I don’t want you be my teacher. I want you to be my sister. Is that so much to ask? Have you forgotten how?’

Celestia stands and glares at her sister. ‘How dare you say I haven’t been a good sister. I have done nothing but support and guide you since our parents left. I even allowed you to date that pest! This is how you repay my good nature? Have you learned nothing?’

‘I have learned something,’ Luna snorts. ‘I learned that I will have to take action into my own hooves if I want results.’ She turns around. ‘I am throwing my party, whether you like it or not.’

Luna starts storming away. A magical field surrounds her.

‘Get back here,’ Celestia snaps. ‘I am not through with you yet.’

‘Let me go! I have work to attend to.’

‘There will be no party since you are banished to your room until you learn some responsibility.’

‘Yes, take away my no responsibility to teach me about responsibility.’ Luna claps her hooves. ‘Mares and gentlecolts: my sister, the great teacher.’

‘Shut up! You’re stupid.’

‘Name calling? I thought you said I was the foal.’

Celestia marches from the throne. ‘You’re stupid and dumb, and I’m in charge so go to your room, stupid head!’

‘Wow. I thought she wasexaggerating,’ James mumbles.

‘Oh, great,’ Celestia moans. ‘You’re embarrassing me in front of your staff. Very mature, sister.’

‘I did not know they were here,’ Luna retorts. ‘But at least somepony else will know how impossible you are being.’

‘Me?! Impossible?! HMPF!’

Celestia turns, accidentally slapping Luna with her tail. Luna growls and gives her sister a small push.

Celestia gasps. ‘She attacked me first! You all saw it!’

‘You slapped me with your tail!’

‘You hit me!’

‘I barely nudged you.’ Luna lets out a loud groan. ‘Can I just go to my room?’

‘Oh, you can start a fight, but you can’t finish it.’

‘I don’t want to fight anymore,’ Luna sighs. ‘I’ll forget about my party if you just start treating me fairly.’

‘Very grown up. You don’t stand up for something you want and just go to your room to cry about it. Well, go ahead and cry, you big baby. Big crybaby Luna.’

Luna pushes her sister again. ‘There! That is a real shove!’ She turns away. ‘I’m really leaving!’

Celestia growls and knocks Luna to the ground, knocking off her crown. ‘You want to shove me! Prepare for consequences!’ She pushes Luna as she tries standing. ‘You big dummy.’

Luna tries getting up, but Celestia pushes her again. The downed princess growls. Her eyes flash and her coat briefly appears black. She swings a hoof and punches Celestia’s muzzle. The older princess tumbles back and hits her head on her throne. Dusk gasps, but James holds her back from helping.

‘I hate you!’ Luna shouts, standing. ‘I don’t want to liveon this planet anymore!’

Celestia picks herself up. She touches her face and notices blood coming from her nose. She growls. ‘That can be arranged!’

Celestia charges a spell on her horn. Subconsciously, she taps into the powers of the Elements of Harmony in her and Luna’s crowns. Celestia shoots a beam of light that hits Luna in the back. The younger princess screams then disappears. Celestia stands, panting, blood dripping from her nose. The magic fades from her horn and the Elements of Harmony.

‘Princess,’ Dusk gasps. ‘What did you do?’

Celestia blinks. The realization of what she just did hits her. ‘Luna? Luna! Luna, I’m sorry!’ She gallops over and picks up Luna’s crown. ‘Come back, Luna. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Luna...’

[Fluttershy]

12 - A Day of Wandering

The Wandering Physicist found the safest, quietest place in town to rest and go online to do business. He was able to use the tethering feature from his mobile to get a signal for his laptop and has been working for the past few hours. He finally lets out a sigh and closes the laptop. On the other side of the table, Fluttershy is staring at him. He screams and falls off the table.

‘Ow! That hurt,’ he moans from the ground.

‘I’m sorry.’ Fluttershy apologizes from under the table where she hid from scream. ‘I shouldn’t have scared you.’

‘Nah. It is cool. It was just surprising seeing you suddenly there.’

Fluttershy comes out from under the table. ‘Actually... I was there for the past couple hours...’

‘Seriously? You should have said something.’

‘Oh no! You looked so busy. I didn’t want to interrupt.’

‘We IM-ed for thirty minutes!’

Fluttershy squeaks and hides under the table again.

‘Sorry. Sorry. Just been a long day.’

‘I’m sorry. How did you get hurt?’

‘Never make fun of Celestia in front of Twilight.’

‘Oh dear,’ Fluttershy laughs. ‘I am surprised you got off that easy.’ She offers a hoof to help.

‘Thanks, but I can barely move. I think my back went out when I fell.’

‘Oh. Let me help you.’ Fluttershy rolls The Paralyzed Physicist over and presses down hard on his back. She ignores his scream. ‘Calm down. I am a professional.’

‘Professional animal care!’

‘Ponies are animals too.’ A loud pop is heard. ‘Oopsie. I can fix that.’

‘No! I am fine!’

The Wandering Physicist tries breaking free, but he cannot get up from under Fluttershy. She tumbles over him, and they fall down a small hill and roll to the bottom. The Wandering Physicist lands on top of Fluttershy. They are staring right into the other’s face.

‘Oh dear.’ Fluttershy blushes and tries curling into a ball.

‘Sorry!’ The Wandering Physicist leaps back but stops and gets a pained look on his face from his back.

The Wandering Physicist helps Fluttershy up and they head back to the table in silence. At the table, The Wandering Physicist starts packing up his things.

‘So...’ The Wandering Physicist says.

‘I wish you kissed me...’ Fluttershy utters barely audibly, her cheeks turning bright red.

‘What was that?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.

‘.....’ Fluttershy squeaks in what scientists can barely define as speech.

44 - The Physicist’s Wife

James and Fluttershy sit at the kitchen table with their tea. Both are blushing bright red after the attempted seduction. James has scrubbed his hooves raw to put Fluttershy’s mind at ease. The mare’s socks sit on the table in front of her.

‘Um...’ both ponies say as they look at each other. Their eyes lock, and they somehow blush redder. They quickly look away.

Fluttershy whines and mumbles, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It is okay,’ James assures.

‘No. It is not.’ Fluttershy shakes her head. ‘I have been lying to you and my friends. I have been hurting you all...’

‘Do you want to tell me about it?’

‘... Okay...’ Fluttershy takes a long sip of her tea. ‘I was out feeding some animals when I saw Rainbow and Rei playing. I watched as they did their stunt, but then it exploded and knocked me into a tree. While the doctor was examining me, I got the idea to pretend I had a condition where I thought we were married.’ She sips her tea again. ‘It was scary at first but when I saw you and kissed you...’ She smiles and looks at her tea.

‘I am surprised that you were so confident with your act.’

‘I... I was sort of tapping into New Fluttershy a bit, but the time spent with you and Rei has made me stronger.’

‘Hmm.... What are we going to do now? The others have to know of your trick.’

Fluttershy whines again, then whimpers ‘Can we wait a bit? I really like being with you.’

‘Your friends have to know sometime. They won’t be as upset if we tell them sooner.’

‘I’ll tell them. It has to be me, but I want to do it on my own time. The others got to have a lot of time with you when I was too scared to do anything. I want some time with you too.’

James takes a deep breath. ‘Fine. It has been fun living with you these past few days. Not to mention how happy you have made Rei.’

Fluttershy smiles. ‘She is a really sweet kid, even if she and Angel get along too well for my tastes...’

James chuckles.‘Troublemakers do attract each other.’

‘Um... James?’

‘Yes?’

‘You said you knew I was faking my condition. How?’

‘Rarity told me.’

Fluttershy gasps. ‘What?!’

‘Yeah. She figured it out during your spa date.’

‘Oh... But you two played along, knowing that I was intentionally deceiving you.’

‘You were happy. Why would we want you to be unhappy?’

Fluttershy smiles. ‘Thank you. ... Um... How did you know about my shower fantasy?’

‘Um.......'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A red-faced James stares at Rarity with his jaw dropped. The white unicorn plays with her mane while taking a sip of coffee.

‘I’d be worried about touching any of her socks, too. Let’s just say she likes the feel of silk.’ She grins. ‘Then again, who doesn’t?’

James gives a small whine.

Rarity sighs as she looks at the stunned stallion. ‘Pick that jaw up, will you. It is quite unbecoming.’

‘How do you know all of that?’

‘Well, there are several stages to drunk Fluttershy. One drink, she is super shy. Even her reflection in her wine glass is too much pony for her. On her second drink, she is uncontrollably giggly. It is quite cute once you are used to it. Her third drink makes her excessively talkative. She will tell you everything you want to know... even if you don’t wish to know. Fourth drink... Well, New Fluttershy makes her appearance. And Celestia help you if she has a second glass of wine!’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Oh...’ Fluttershy giggles to herself. ‘Good thing that was the only time I had a drink.’

James laughs. ‘That is good to hear.’ He thinks for a moment. ‘So, what do you want to do tonight, Mrs Wanderer? We have the house to ourselves.’

Fluttershy giggles again. ‘How about just a nice night in watching a movie or two?’

‘Sounds like a good idea.’

The two ponies get up from the table. They head to the living room where they hug and kiss again.

‘I am glad I didn’t do anything stupid to maintain the lie,’ Fluttershy says.

‘Me too,’ James agrees. ‘I am really glad I didn’t have sex with you.’ He pauses then snaps to attention. ‘That is something I hope I never say again.’

Fluttershy giggles at her husband and hops on the couch.

49 - Confessions

Fluttershy exits the back door of The Power Block with a box on her back. James follows her out.

‘These should be the last of my things,’ Fluttershy says. ‘If you find anything I forgot...’

‘I’ll send Rei as quick as possible.’

‘Or you can come yourself...’

‘Flutters, I think if we’re going to undo as much damage as we can, we should try avoiding private settings together for a while.’

The pegasus sighs. ‘You’re right. I guess we’ll be seeing each other.’

Fluttershy leans forward to try and get one last kiss, but she yelps in surprise as she is pushed away from her friend. Her box of belongings spills all over the alley.

‘Hi, Mr James Wanderer Hayate!’ Pinkie greets. ‘Are you free tonight?’

Fluttershy groans and starts picking up her stuff.

‘Pinkie,’ James sighs. ‘We just ended this today. Give me some time to get used to being without Fluttershy.’

‘Who? I’ve never known anypony by that name.’

‘Pinkie, just because you are mad at her doesn’t mean you can ignore her.’

James moves to help Fluttershy, but Pinkie grabs his foreleg.

‘Don’t help her after she has hurt you so much,’ Pinkie begs.

‘She’s right,’ Fluttershy nods. ‘It is fine. I don’t want to be a burden.’

‘You’re not a burden,’ James replies. ‘And if Pinkie really wanted you gone, she wouldn’t have made a mess to keep you around.’

‘It is fine.’

‘See,’ Pinkie gloats. ‘The meany Miss Hurts-A-Lot doesn’t need any help.’

‘Pinkie...’

‘What? She hurt us all and manipulated your emotions.’

‘Pink...’

‘And what about Rei? Both of you toyed with the filly’s desire to have a real mother. Even if you can justify her actions towards yourself, what about your daughter?’

James stares back at the pink pony. He looks over at the pegasus trying to repack her belongings. She looks up and gives a weak smile. He takes a deep breath and turns around. Pinkie steps beside him. He pushes her back.

‘Pinkie, even though I am upset that you used Rei like that, I am angry at myself for not seeing what you said earlier. I... am just going to need to be alone with my daughter for a while.’

‘I’m real sorry, James,’ Fluttershy squeaks.

‘Fluttershy... I am still on your side in the long run, but not right now.’

The stallion closes the door behind him. Pinke looks at Fluttershy. The pegasus finishes packing and trots away, muttering apologies to nopony in particular. Pinkie gives a small whimper then holds her head up, confident in what she had done.

56 - Fluttershy the Combat Maid

‘I don’t get what you were so worried about,’ Fluttershy giggles while drinking. ‘They are a lot sweeter than you said. Aren’t you?’

All of the Cyberponies make the ‘squee’ sound again.

Akuma groans. ‘It seems she has a stronger mind than they are used to, and her personality overwrote their programming.’

River holsters her weapon. ‘Huh. I knew there was a reason James really liked her.’

‘Duh, he loves her. They’re married,’ Dash groans.

Fluttershy facehooves, causing the Cyberponies to facehoof. ‘That was a trick. We weren’t really married.’

‘Wait. When did that happen? Nopony tells me anything!’ Dash snorts, sitting back and crossing her forelegs.

‘I told you first, genius!’

The Cyberponies aim their weapons at Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy closes her eyes and gets her emotions under control.

‘No. I will not let New Fluttershy take over.’

‘If she will honor our agreement, I don’t mind,’ Akuma snorts.

‘We had no such deal!’ Fluttershy shouts. ‘You missed your opportunity to gain the knowledge you sought when you had me take your place as their leader. You would barely qualify as a drone now.’

‘I was offered unlimited knowledge in exchange for helping these creatures. I kept my end of all of our deals. I deserve to...’

Fluttershy holds up a hoof. ‘Take him for processing.’

‘Fluttershy!’ River gasps. ‘You are sending him to his death. That is not you!’

The pegasus winces. ‘Stop it! Stop it! Fluttershy is in charge now.’

‘Fluttershy is threatening other ponies with death,’ River counters.

‘Including her friends,’ Dash nervously adds, eying all the weapons still aimed at her.

‘Quiet! All of you!’ Fluttershy shouts. ‘I am tired of being told what to do and how to feel! This is why you drive me to New Fluttershy all the time!’

‘There is no way, even when you were Discorded, you would want to kill somepony,’ Dash worries.

‘Silence! I’m just... Stop it! You are trying to confuse me. I-I-I... Shut up!’

‘It is okay, Fluttershy,’ River calms. ‘That is just the Cyberpony programming trying to change you into something you are not. You have to fight it.’

‘I can’t!’ Fluttershy screams. ‘It is hurting so much. I can’t fight it.’

‘Please, Fluttershy. Can we have the real you back?’ Dash begs. ‘I really would like to keep my head where it is.’

‘I’m trying.’ She reaches up to the headpiece and screams in pain.

‘Find something you love and focus on that!’ River shouts.

‘Think of your family,’ Dash suggests. ‘Think of your friends. Think of James! Think of...’

Suddenly, a happy ringtone starts playing from one of the consoles. One of the Cyberponies brings Fluttershy’s mobile to her and activates it.

M-mommy? Rei asks over the line.

‘Rei?’

Mommy, daddy is being mean to me.

‘What is he doing, dear?’

He... he is being yelly and keeping me in my room. I miss you, mommy.

Fluttershy chokes back a tear. ‘I miss you, too, Rei.’

Can you get daddy to be nice again?

‘You know he still loves you, Rei. If he is punishing you, you know he has a reason and he feels awful about it, too. Don’t worry, Rei. Hang in there.’

I will, Rei sobs. You hang in there, too, mommy. I love you.

‘I love you, too.’

Rei hangs up. The Cyberpony hangs up the mobile and returns it to Fluttershy. The pegasus looks down and sobs. She slowly reaches up to the headpiece and throws it to the floor. The Cyberponies short out and slump over. Fluttershy holds her head in her hooves and sobs. Rainbow Dash goes to her friend and hugs her.

‘I did a bad thing,’ Fluttershy cries.

‘You didn’t hurt anypony. Just scared us a bit,’ Dash assures. ‘It is okay. Let’s blow this place and get outa here.’

‘Not so fast.’

The mares look to see Akuma levitate the headpiece to him.

‘Don’t do it!’ River warns. ‘Your mind will be wiped and their programming will take over.’

‘Limitless knowledge. You cannot pass that up.’

Akuma lowers the headpiece. The device activates, causing him to scream in pain. As soon as he stops, he looks up with completely black eyes.

‘Assimilate them,’ Cyber Akuma commands.

Before River can draw her weapon, the Cyberponies spring to life and subdue the mares. They are shocked by the Cyberpony’s electrically-charged hooves.

‘No,’ Fluttershy snorts.

‘What?’ Cyber Akuma asks.

‘NO! NO MORE HURTING!’

The cyberized unicorn takes a step back as Fluttershy breaks free. She advances on the former professor as she locks The Stare on his lifeless eyes.

‘You are not going to hurt anypony else! There has been enough hurting today! I hurt too many ponies, and now I will stop you from hurting more! You will stop your hurting or, uh, I’ll make your head explode with my mind!’

Cyber Akuma shakes with fear. The Cyberponies surrounding the other mares start shaking, too. The head of one of the Cyberponies explodes.

River looks around. ‘Time to run.’

69 - A Surprise Visit - Deleted Scene

The sleepy pegasus yawns and nods. ‘Do you have a room for me too or am I sleeping with my mother or Rei?’

‘You can stay in any room you like.’

‘Any room, you say?’ Fluttershy grins craftily and heads toward the first bedroom, pausing only to run her tail across its owner’s snout. ‘I think I am ready to take you up on your earlier offer now.’

James whimpers, briefly considers how his frie... Fluttershy waves her tail again, and James immediately follows her to the bedroom. As soon as he gets inside, he stops and laughs. Fluttershy is half on the bed, sleeping. James helps the snoozing pegasus completely into bed before climbing in himself.

[Applejack]

02 - Pest Control - Deleted Scene

‘...Now think about what ya did wrong,’ Applejack snorts, closing the door to Apple Bloom’s room.

The mare heads back downstairs and sits at the kitchen table with Big Macintosh.

‘Well, Ah talked with her ‘bout almost smashin’ the store,’ Applejack snorts. ‘Ah can’ believe she left that part out.’

‘She was embarrassed,’ Big Mac replies. ‘Not t’ mention she was upset ‘bout gettin’ yelled at.’

‘Yeah. Ah guess...’

Big Mac laughs. ‘So, how’d ya like meetin’ Mr Wanderer?’

Applejack groans. ‘He was interestin’ t’ say the least.’

‘Yer cheeks were glowin’ a bit when ya got back.’

‘Ah was angry!’

‘Right. Sure ya were,’ Big Mac laughs.

Applejack growls and gets up to do her evening chores.

51 - iDate

The couple sits at a coffee shop after the play. Both have a sugary treat in front of them. Applejack sighs and looks across the table. James looks up from his treat and licks some frosting from his muzzle.

‘Uh... Did I get it all?’ the stallion asks.

‘Would ya ever wanna move t’ the apple farm and help me run it?’

James is stunned. ‘Uh...... Since I know you want the honest answer, no. I couldn’t see myself being a farmer. I can’t even imagine the daily commute to town to run the store if you let me keep it.’

Applejack looks down at her dessert and moans, ‘Ah thought as much.’

‘Would you not want to run the store with me?’

‘Heck, nah!’ She gasps. ‘Ah mean...’

‘I didn’t think so,’ James laughs. ‘It is okay. I can’t really see you settling to the sedentary life I prefer.’

‘And Ah thought we had a good thin’ too.’

‘What? We can’t be good friends?’

‘Yeah, but Ah thought fer sure Ah finally found a good stallion.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘As much as Ah like spendin’ time with ya and Ah had a great time t’night, Ah can’t help but notice how diff’rent we are.’

James sighs. ‘I know what you mean. Just because we like each other doesn’t mean we’re each other’s special somepony.’

‘Right... Ah was hopin’ t’ set a good example fer Apple Bloom by findin’ the right stallion, but Ah just come across as fickle.’

‘At least you’re not like Big Macintosh and his, uh, rendezvous across town.’

Applejack snorts. ‘Best worst-kept secret on the farm.’

‘Eeyup.’

The stallion is kicked out of his seat from under the table. He laughs to himself as he gets back in his seat.

‘Ah really hoped we’d work out,’ Applejack sighs. ‘Yer smart, funny, a good listener... very handsome.’

James freezes and looks down. ‘Nopony has really called me handsome, not even Twilight...’

The mare giggles. ‘So Ah get one o’ yer firsts...’

James squeaks, getting another giggle from the mare. The Blushing Physicist looks up and meets Applejack’s eyes. They smile at each other.

‘I still don’t see why we can’t be good friends,’ the stallion says. ‘If you want a good example for Apple Bloom, we can at least give her that much.’

‘Ah guess...’

James reaches across the table and pats Applejack’s hoof. ‘Sorry that we didn’t work out.’ All the best since I still have the others chasing me. ‘I know you are going to make somepony really happy. Some very lucky pony.’

‘Not as good a p...’ the disappointed mare shakes her head. ‘Ah got mah date with ya. That was the least Ah wanted.’

‘Hey, you got to work out your pent-up feelings, too.’

‘Not all o’ them,’ the farmer mumbles.

‘Huh?’

Applejack blushes. ‘After our trip out west, Ah’m the last in our group t’...’

‘OH! I am sure eventually...’

‘Ferget Ah said anythin’ if ya like having yer own teeth.’

James squeaks in fear. ‘So, um, you were telling me about how much you were enjoying your dessert?’

Applejack laughs and sighs. Why can’t I meet a good farmer like him?

55 - The Boredom of Applejack and Rarity - Deleted Scene

Applejack and Rarity lay on the floor of their room. Both are still sore from their match earlier. The mares sip the tea Bon Bon left for them.

‘Ah keep fergettin’ that ya can be pretty athletic when ya wanna be.’

‘Why thank you.’ Rarity drinks her tea. ‘I liked your flower arrangement the other day. You can be very feminine too.’

‘Thanks, Ah guess.’

The mares moan as they stretch out.

‘Hey, uh, Rarity, Ah, uh, wanna ask ya somethin’?’

‘Go ahead, darling. I won’t bite.’ She laughs. ‘Unless you want me to.’

‘That’s, uh, sorta it.’ Applejack looks around nervously. ‘Ya’ve been around the block a few times, right?’

Rarity groans. ‘You’re not going to give me a hard time about it, are you?’

‘No! Ah mean, Ah... Ya’ve been with more than one stallion. Ah’m jus’ wonderin’ what it’s like.’

The unicorn shrugs. ‘It is all about the same, really.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘Truth be told, I have dated more ponies than the few who have been lucky enough to spend the night with me. Trying to find the right somepony that shares my interests or would be a suitable husband.’

‘What ‘bout Tom or Blueblood?’

‘Never speak of them again!’ Rarity snaps.

Applejack laughs. ‘Sorry. But is it okay t’ see so many ponies? Doesn’ that make ya look bad?’

Rarity takes a deep breath. ‘Yes. Yes, it does. Why else have I stopped seeing anypony these past couple months? I want to really figure out what I am looking for in a stallion.’

‘Or a dragon,’ Applejack teases.

Rarity blushes. ‘I haven’t thought about that.’ She looks at her friend. ‘What about you? Why are you still chasing what you cannot have when you have somepony great waiting for you?’

It is Applejack’s turn to be embarrassed. ‘Ah’m the worst. Ah keep tryin’ t’ avoid Jimmy, but Ah can’t help mahself. Ah have been seein’ Sunshine more t’ keep mah mind off thin’s. He really is wonderful. Just wish he could take me flyin’ some time.’

Rarity smirks. ‘I take it bat ponies don’t suffer from the same coital quirks as pegasi.’

‘We ain’t like that!’ Applejack blushes and looks away. ‘At least not yet...’

Rarity reaches out and pats her friend. ‘You have to pick one or the other but if you make the wrong choice, you’re just going to end up heartbroken when Twilight takes him away from from you.’

‘Yeah... Ah know...’ She lets out a big sigh. ‘Ah just don’ wanna hurt either o’ them.’

‘I really doubt James will be heartbroken. He’d probably be very happy that you found somepony else that you care for.’

‘Yer right. Ah need somepony Ah care fer more than him. Ah will find that pony someday.’

‘Good for you! Here’s to future love, for both of us!’

‘Cheers!’

Rarity and Applejack raise their cups of tea. They instantly contort their faces in pain as they overextend themselves too soon. The two mares hold their forelegs and moan in pain. The door to the room opens.

‘Quit faking it,’ Bon Bon groans.

‘Even Rumble does a better job faking being hurt when I foalsit him,’ Cloudchaser adds.

Applejack and Rarity grumble and go back to resting.

98 - This One Time at Camp... - Deleted Scene

Applejack sits on her bed. Nurse Redheart sits before her, tapping her scanner. The farmer fidgets nervously.

‘Whats up, doc?’ Applejack asks. ‘Is it something contagious? Do Ah have t’ quarantine mahself?’

Redheart sighs. ‘Can you go through your symptoms again?’

‘Well, uh, Ah’ve been feelin’ sick, like pukin’, a lot, and Ah’ve been really tired a lot too.’ She blushes. ‘And, uh, Ah’ve had t’ use the facilities at night more.’

‘Uh huh.’ The nurse nods. ‘And when was the last time you were...’ -- she blushes and coughs -- ‘intimate?’

Applejack turns red. ‘Now what does that have t’ do with anything!’

Redheart holds up her scanner. ‘Congratulations, Applejack. You’re going to be a mother.’

The farmer stares at the nurse in shock. ‘Please tell me its a bat pony.’

Redheart checks her scan. She grimaces. ‘Well, I can tell you who the father is...’

Applejack stares in silence for several moments. ‘Oh.’

[Rei & Inkie]

10 - Crossroads

The pegasus moans and puts a hoof to her head. When she opens her eyes, she blushes at the face very close to hers.

‘Otoosan?’ the pegasus whispers. She looks around at all of the strange faces looking at her.

‘Hi! HIC!’ Pinkie greets.

The pegasus cocks her head to the side. ‘Nani? Doko?’

‘What did she say?’ Sweetie Belle asks.

‘Shh!’ The Wandering Physicist hisses. He looks at the pegasus. ‘Ponyville desu. Genki desu ka?’

‘I-iye.’ She rubs her head. ‘Atama itai. Ponyville ka?’

15 - Filling Time - Deleted Scene

Rei watches in awe as Derpy stuffs another muffin in her mouth. Dinky giggles at the shocked pegasus.

‘So, Rei, how do you like Ponyville so far?’ Derpy asks, reaching for another muffin.

‘It is okay, I guess,’ the young pegasus hems. ‘It is nothing like the Ponyville where I am from.’

‘You have a different Ponyville?’ Dinky asks.

‘Um, well, uh, I’m not sure if I am allowed to talk about where I am from.’

‘It’s okay, Rei,’ Derpy replies. ‘I know about Chief and The Doctor. I can keep your secret.’

Rei moans. ‘Well, uh...’ She looks at the ponies in front of her. They smile kindly in return. A thought occurs. ‘Dinky, right?’

‘Yep!’ the filly replies.

‘I think I remember you from back home.’ Rei focuses. ‘Yeah. You and your daddy came with my king when he was visiting me once.’

‘You met my daddy!’ Dinky gasps. ‘What was he like? Was he a unicorn too? Does he know lots of magic?’

‘Settle down, Dinky,’ Derpy calms.

‘I don’t think he was your real daddy. Sorry,’ Rei apologizes.

‘It’s okay, Rei,’ Dinky sighs. ‘But it is nice knowing somepony is out there like that.’

‘I didn’t mean to get your hopes up.’

‘Don’t worry about it.’ Dinky smiles up at Rei. She gasps again. ‘You haven’t met Sparkler yet! Mommy! We have to show Rei to Sparkler!’

‘Who?’ Rei is confused.

‘She is Dinky’s big sister,’ Derpy explains. ‘Her real name is Amethyst Star, but Dinky called her Sparkler when she was a baby and the name sorta stuck.’

‘I bet Rei and Sparkler would be great friends!’ Dinky cheers.

Derpy laughs. ‘I am sure they would be.’

Rei smiles slightly. ‘A friend... That would be nice...’

‘Muffin?’ Dinky offers.

‘Thanks.’

‘Anything for a friend.’

Rei blushes and sighs. She nibbles her muffin while the family goes back to chatting with their new friend.

22 - Warriors of the Derp - Deleted Scene

Rei stares at Inkie in awe and nods while the other filly talks. The adults have all fallen asleep on the train ride back to Ponyville.

‘So, then by careful treatment of the topsoil, you can revitalize your fields in half the normal time,’ Inkie explains.

‘I have no idea what you are talking about,’ Rei responds.

Inkie sighs.

‘But you are very cute, so it doesn’t matter.’

Inkie blushes. ‘You think I’m cute?’

Rei nods. ‘Yeah! You’re as cute and smart as my buddy Stormy!’

‘Is she..?’

‘He’s really cool. Oh! You should meet him sometime!’ Rei looks away and grins evilly. ‘Yes, we should all get together.’

Inkie backs away. ‘Why do I suddenly fear for my life?’

Rei lets out a loud yawn. ‘Rei-chan is tired. Inkie-chan, wanna cuddle?’

Inkie waves her hooves and blushes. ‘W-we just met. That might t-too perso-’

Rei yawns again and falls on top of Inkie. The smaller filly cuddles close. Inkie panics for a moment before sighing, putting a foreleg around Rei and going to sleep.

24 - RSI and the Mystery of Friendship

There is a clamor on the stairs as Stormy enters the living areas. He has a pack on his back.

‘Sorry I took so long. Rarity felt the need to scold me for no good reason.’

The Wandering Physicist puts a hoof on Stormy’s shoulder. ‘I am sorry for your loss.’

‘What? Huh? Oh! Blame Rei. She did it.’

‘Rei! You’re grounded!’

Rei sticks her tongue out at her guardian. Stormy rolls his eyes at the whole beard argument as he goes over to the table. He levitates his laptop out of his pack.

‘I whipped this up while Rarity was going on how my clean face was “The. Worst. Possible. Thing”.’ Stormy moans as he brings up a file. ‘Obviously she forgot we were out of orange juice this morning.’

‘Whoa.’ Inkie marvels at what she sees. ‘This is neat.’

Rei drools a little. ‘Ooooo! Shiny.’ She turns to Stormy. ‘I think Team Venture is better though.’

Stormy moans. On the screen, he as drawn up a simple flier that reads ‘RSI Adventure Team’ and has a picture of Rei, Inkie and Stormy posing at the ruins.

25 - Letters from Home

Helios laughs. ‘Hey. When is Auntie Pinkie getting here?’

‘You just can’t wait to cause trouble with Apple again.’

Helios rolls his eyes. ‘Pfft. I wish. He is always so hard-working and honest. It is hard to get him to mess around and do something crazy.’

‘Rainbow is always game for a crazy prank, and she loves doing fun things. You can always mess around with her.’

‘Yeah, if she is not off on some cloud sleeping or reading with Alba in the library.’ Helios sighs. ‘Full Moon knows how to have fun. She is a much better big sister than Rainbow. … When is she coming home?’

James closes his eyes and forces back sad thoughts. ‘She is probably never coming home. Theta was very clear about that.’

Helios sighs again. ‘I miss her. She was really fun. I just wish she could have known.’

‘With any luck, she is with the me of where she ended up and he is as thick as I am and accidentally told her already.’

27 - Apple of His Eye - Deleted Scene

Rei lays on her bed, crying. She feels horrible after stealing the TARDIS. She knows that The Angry Physicist and Applejack are outside planning her punishment. The door to her room opens.

‘Rei... We need to talk.’

The filly braces herself when James trots in. The stallion sits beside the upset filly and pats her back.

‘I am very upset that you stole my TARDIS,’ James says, ‘but I understand how you feel. You don’t feel like you belong and wanted to find somewhere to fit in.’

Rei whimpers in reply.

‘It’s okay. I understand how you feel.’

‘I’m really sorry,’ Rei apologizes. ‘Time machines aren’t toys.’

‘You’re damn right they’re not.’ James takes a deep breath. ‘We have something more important to talk about.’ He gets out a folder and sets it on the bed. ‘Here. Look at this.’

Rei opens the folder and starts looking at the papers. Her eyes go wide when she realizes what she sees. ‘You are going to...’

‘I wanted it to be a surprise, but I think this is as good a time as any.’

Rei starts crying again. ‘You really want me to be your...’

‘I would love to have you as my daughter, Rei. I can’t think of anypony else who can fill that role.’

Rei tackles her father in a big hug, peppering his cheeks with kisses. ‘Thank you! Thank you! I love you so much! You are the greatest father ever! I love you so much, otoosan!’

29 - Young Adult Education

The Wandering Physicist takes a seat next to Rei and puts a foreleg around her. She guards her ice cream. He lets out a long sigh before letting her go.

‘Rei, are you lonely?’

Rei nearly drops the ice cream, but she never lets food touch the ground. ‘Wh-what are you talking about? I have lots of friends! Stormy and Inkie and Image and Dashie... I’m not lonely!’

‘Rei, please don’t lie to me.’

Rei looks down and frowns. ‘My ice cream is getting melty...’

The Wandering Physicist gives Rei a big hug. ‘It is okay. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have. As long as you have great friends you can depend on.’

‘But... They are not always around. How can they be friends if they are not around?’

‘That is just part of being friends. I feel lonely in the brief moments of the day when I am away from you or Lucas or Twilight or Pinkie or Dream or Coal or anypony, but then I remember that you are my friends and family and we will always be friends and family and then I am not lonely any more.’

‘I’ve been alone for so long. It...’

‘It feels horrible to be alone for that long. Then it feels disorienting to have ponies around you that actually want to be around you. You never want to lose that feeling.’

Rei nods and cuddles up against her dad.

‘I know exactly what you are going through since I am at the same place. We both got what we needed at the same time. We can go through everything together.’

Rei sighs and smiles. ‘I love you, otoo-san.’

The Wandering Physicist hugs his daughter. ‘I love you too, Rei-chan.’

50 - RSI and the Mystery of Foalsitting - Deleted Scene

Rei yawns at breakfast with Derpy and Dinky. The young mare shakes her head and looks at the muffin on her plate. She sighs and digs in. Dinky giggles at her foalsitter.

‘Did Dinky behave herself last night?’ Derpy asks.

Rei nods. ‘She was very good. Dinky-chan is a great kid. She reminds me of my little sister.’

‘You have a sister?’

‘Um... back where I am from. It would be good to have a sister again.’

‘You’d be a great sister,’ Dinky says.

Derpy laughs. ‘That is definitely true.’

The older pegasus gets up to get more muffins for the table. Rei takes the moment to slip Dinky a comic. The young unicorn gasps and her horn flashes a moment.

‘Keep it,’ Rei whispers. ‘I know how much you liked it. I can get another from Kaeko’s shop.’

Dinky nods hurriedly and hides the comic. Derpy turns back. The younger ponies smile innocently.

‘What are you two up to?’ Derpy asks.

‘Nothing!’ the young ponies reply.

‘Can I get more juice?’ Rei asks.

‘Right away,’ Derpy replies.

The older pegasus turns away again and goes to the refrigerator.

Rei leans down to Dinky again. ‘And if you need any help with your coltfriend and Sparkler isn’t available, I can help you there too.’

Dinky giggles and nods. ‘Thank you.’

Derpy turns back with the juice. She stares at the giggling ponies. ‘Are you two keeping secrets from me?’

‘No, Miss Hooves.’ Rei grins.

‘No, mommy,’ Dinky giggles.

Derpy sighs and laughs. She pours the juice and rejoins breakfast.

54 - Finding the Full Moon

‘We didn’t settle anything!’ Rei shouts. ‘She is still guilty of stealing my identity. Nothing that can be said can fix that!’

‘I am sorry, but I do not know how I upset you, little one,’ Chrysalis replies. ‘Is it because of the guise I used as an idol?’

‘You don’t get it, do you!’

‘Apparently not...’

‘I am Full Moon! My mom gave me Neighpon as a home! I am the only Full Moon of Neighpon! Nopony could take that from me! Those bullies never could! But you took it from me! You took me! I hate you!’

‘I am really sorry for upsetting you. Maybe we can...’

‘QUIET!’

Electricity arcs from Rei. Shining quickly casts shields around the princesses. Chrysalis nervously steps back. Rei roars and leaps. She is blocked and held back by a strong force. James is going hoof-to-hoof with his daughter to keep her from Chrysalis. He flinches as Rei’s electricity flows through him.

‘Rei! Stop this! Please. I know you don’t want to harm her.’

‘Move! She has to pay for hurting me!’

‘She didn’t know she was hurting you. Please. Stop now before you lose yourself.’

‘No! She’s a bully! You’re the last pony I would have thought would stand up for a bully.’

‘Right now, she is not...’

Rei growls. Her electricity surges. Shining barely pulls James away with his magic. The stallion winces from the current flowing through his body. The enraged filly advances on her target. Chrysalis backs away and tries changing forms for protection. First she changes into a pink alicorn. Rei growls and steps forward. Chrysalis tries disguising herself as an orange unicorn with a green mane. Rei moves closer. Chrysalis tries one last change, trips over a cushion and appears as Full Moon. Rei stands over the cowering changeling and raises an electrically-charged hoof.

‘Full Moon. Stop,’ James gasps as he fights the pain of the shock he received.

‘I have stopped!’ Chrysalis shouts.

‘Not you. My Full Moon.’

Chrysalis looks up at Rei. The filly is frozen above her target, tears streaming down her face. The electricity dissipates from her hoof.

‘Full Moon... I’m the one bullying Full Moon for no reason this time... I’m the one hurting...’

‘Rei... Full Moon...’

‘Daddy!’ Rei dives across the room and grabs her father in a hug. ‘I am so sorry. I screwed up. I hurt ponies. I hurt you. I was bad.’

James strokes Rei’s mane. ‘You were confused. I knew you would come to your senses. Now, can somepony get me to a hospital?’

63 - A Certain Magical Railgun - Deleted Scene

Rei practices her newly developed Thunder Shot in the palace garden before dinner. She does her martial arts routine while shooting electricity. While she works out, a bat pony wearing an eyepatch trots up. He watches Rei practice before sneaking up on the young mare. Rei lands in an attack posture. The bat pony taps Rei’s hind leg, tripping her.

‘How long have you been claiming to know karate?’ Sunshine asks.

Rei gets up and scowls. She looks away. ‘I learned everything from anime.’

‘Mimicking media is a good start, but it is no substitute to formal training.’ He leans down and whispers, ‘Though I have taught myself a version of the Amaguriken.’

Rei giggles. She takes in the stallion. ‘You’re Ringo-neesama’s coltfriend, right?’

‘If you mean Miss Applejack...’

‘Yep!’ She giggles. ‘You know she likes my daddy, right?’

Sunshine takes a deep breath and sighs. ‘Yes, we have talked about her past coltfriends, including your father.’

‘You mean he is “past” now? I didn’t know they stopped seeing each other.’

The bat pony twitches, revealing a fang. ‘What was that?’

‘Or maybe they have. It has been a few days.’

Sunshine growls and turns away. ‘Excuse me. I have to call my fillyfriend.’

The bat pony storms away. Luna passes him.

‘Sunshine, don’t forget about later,’ the princess reminds.

‘I’ll be there.’

Luna smiles and continues to Rei. ‘Rei, would your care to eat out with me?’

‘Can we get garden burgers from the place daddy likes!’

‘As if I would eat out anywhere else.’

Rei cheers and flies ahead of Luna. The princess laughs and chases after her.

66 - Hang in There

The fillies laugh as they trot away. Helios’ hooves dig in the ground as he resists blasting the fillies with his magic. He looks at Rei. She has her head down and a puddle has formed from her tears.

‘Full Moon?’

‘They are right. Why would anypony want to be around me? I am just a short, weird otaku.’

‘Full Moon...’

‘Stop it!’ A small snap of electricity scorches the ground under Rei’s hooves. ‘Stop calling me that!’

‘No! You are Full Moon! Rei might be your common name, but you are really Full Moon at heart, and you know it!’

‘I am not Full Moon... Full Moon is just a silly dream.’

‘Full Moon is the name of princess. I could never love anypony more than I love Princess Full Moon!’

‘Helios...’

‘Please, Full Moon. Stop being sad. I cannot stand to see you ruin your perfect face with tears.’

‘I don’t know if I can stop...’

Helios takes Rei’s hooves. ‘Rei, Full Moon, please. For me. Please be happy. I know it is tough, but you have to hang in there. You have to hang in there and be happy. Please, Full Moon. Be happy. Hang in there.’

Rei wipes her tears. ‘I will. For my Prince Helios. I’ll hang in there for him.’

Helios holds Rei close. ‘Hang in there, Full Moon. Hang in there...’

73 - The Perfect Evening

Inkie carefully rolls around so that Rei is laying on her belly. ‘Rei, have you ever wanted to take our relationship further?’

Rei buries her muzzle in Inkies chest and mumbles, ‘Twice a week when Del and my dad aren’t listening...’

Inkie blushes. ‘Not like that. There has to be some step between here and there we can go to.’

Rei fidgets more and tries burying her muzzle deeper in Inkie’s chest. ‘Actually... There is one thing... … No! I am too scared to say it!’

‘What is it? You can tell me anything.’

Rei lets out a loud whine and gets up. She digs in the folds of her dress for a moment. Her breathing sounds like she is about to hyperventilate. Eventually, the panicking pegasus turns around and sets a small box in front of Inkie. The earth pony’s eyes go wide.

Rei slowly calms her breathing. ‘I know we are both too young, and I am definitely far from ready, so this would be like a very, very, very pre-engagement.’ She opens the box to reveal a jeweled bracelet.

‘It is gorgeous,’ Inkie gasps. ‘When did you get it?’

‘I had Daring pick it up for me a month ago. My dad doesn’t know I got it... I’ve... been too scared to say anything until now.’

Inkie gets the rare occasion to tackle Rei in a hug. ‘I love you so much! Of course I’ll marry you one day! I love you, Full Moon!’ She starts peppering Rei with kisses.

Rei giggles under the kisses. ‘This isn’t really an engagement band. It is...’

‘Shut up. I don’t care. The only thing I care about is my beloved Full Moon.’ Inkie lays on Rei’s chest and sighs, ‘The future Mrs Full Moon. I can’t wait for that day.’

Rei giggles, ‘Mrs Full Moon Pie.’

The bad pun sits over the two mares in love for several moment before both start roaring with laughter.

75 - Slice of Home

Rei smiles and ‘squees’. The moment is ruined by a loud scream. James nods, and Rei takes off through the orchard. The pegasus’ flight is cut short by an orange earth pony to the gut. Applejack and Rei get tangled together as the earth pony tries to flee. In the direction from where Applejack was running, Twilight lays on the ground. Rei is able to stand.

‘What is it? What happened?’

Applejack looks around, terrified. ‘Th-the g-ghost. We saw it.’

‘Where?’

Applejack does not answer. She just turns white and stares past Rei. The pegasus’ wings stick up. She slowly turns to see the translucent pony approach her.

‘Rei?’

Rei screams and flies straight into a tree. All the apples fall neatly into the baskets laid out earlier. James gallops onto the scene. He sees his daughter unconscious, his friend in a state of shock, a very confused ghost and Twilight laying on the ground.

‘Twilight!’ James shouts as he gallops forward. ‘Pardon me,’ he tells the ghost as he passes through. He slides to a stop and lifts Twilight up. ‘Are you okay?’

Twilight holds up a hoof as if to make a point. ‘And that, ladies and gentleponies, is why they call me Great and Powerful.’

‘I think you hit your head a little too hard, The Great and Powerful Sparklerific,’ James laughs.

‘Who said I hit it?’ Twilight moans, rubbing her head. ‘Somepony kicked me as soon as she thought she saw a...’ She gasps.

The ghost slowly approaches the two ponies. ‘Dad?’

James quickly pulls out his sonic and scans. ‘Huh. It is just a telepathic projection.’ He looks at the two panicking mares behind the projection. ‘Don’t worry! It is only a projection!’

James and Twilight stand and start examining the projection. It shifts nervously under the increased attention.

Twilight notes, ‘He looks just like...’

‘Apple?’ Rei says as she comes closer.

‘Yes?’ the projection and Applejack say in unison.

Rei gasps. ‘Apple! It is you!’

The pegasus dives to hug her older brother, but ends up tackling her father.

‘If y’all know him, can ya tell me what is goin’ on?’

Rei gets up and goes to the projection. ‘This is by big brother. Apple Pie.’

Everypony gasps as Rei smiles at her brother. Apple smiles back then looks around him. James and Twilight watch him with a lot of curiosity. Applejack stares, not knowing what to make of everything that is happening. The displaced visitor just smiles and waves. He turns back to face James.

‘So, uh, dad, what is going on here?’ Apple asks.

‘We have no idea,’ James replies.

‘Why do you keep calling him that?’ Twilight asks.

Apple jumps in shock. ‘You must be Twilight Sparkle! Wow! We’ve heard a lot about you. Alba is going to be so jealous.’ He laughs. ‘Technically, I should be calling you “dad” too. Right, Rei?’

Rei giggles. Twilight looks around confused. Applejack covers a laugh.

‘I’ll handle Twilight,’ James says. ‘You two... three, just hang out for a bit.’

James takes Twilight aside to explain Rei’s origins. Apple looks around at the orchard around him. The two mares watch the visitor.

‘Looks about fall harvest season,’ Apple notes. ‘I’m... We’re just finishing up spring. Not nearly this many trees though...’

‘I knew home was further along than here, but I always thought I was crossed on about the same day.’

‘You probably did,’ Apple replies. ‘We just had memorial day.’

Rei frowns. ‘That was months ago here... And it is really different.’

‘Also, you have only been gone for less than a year. We really miss you.’

Rei smiles. ‘I bet dad and Helios tried to convince mom and Alba to allow them to rip a hole in the universe to save me.’

‘They did,’ Apple laughs. ‘But we have bigger worries. Luna just called me to Canterlot. I’m... I’m an Element of Harmony now.’

Rei gasps and tries to hug her brother, falling on her face. ‘That is amazing! Are you Honesty too?’

Apple looks up at Applejack for a moment then back down at Rei. ‘Actually, I think I am Loyalty. Got it just a couple days ago when I saved Apple Bloom from some timberwolves.’ He looks back at Applejack and adjusts his hat. ‘She, uh, gave me this artefact too.’

Applejack smiles. ‘Ah know what happened t’ me on yer world. Glad t’ hear somepony is taken care o’ mah sister fer me.’

‘I was a little nervous about accepting the hat... Everypony says I look just like you... I was sort of scared of living up to the legend.’

Applejack laughs. ‘Shoot. Ah ain’t no legend. Sure, Ah might have a few windows in the palace, but Ah’m as normal as ya are.’ She laughs again. ‘Well, probably not ya, since yer Jimmy’s, Twi’s and Luna’s kid.’

‘Actually, Pinkie is my mom, but still... Genetic jackpot, right?’

Applejack laughs and shakes her head. ‘Only way that can be better if Ah were in the mix somewhere.’

‘Oh geez. Not only would I have to live up to you as a legendary hero, but as my mother too. That is hard enough with just my parents as they are.’

The three ponies laugh. James and Twilight return to the group. Twilight looks a little confused.

‘Okay...’ Twilight begins. ‘There is some weird alien invasion. I am killed. James is killed. He becomes Discord. Then he becomes me. Discord is sent to our mutual past. Then you are our first son with Pinkie Pie, and Rei is our daugher with Luna?’

Apple and Rei nod.

‘That is about the size of it,’ Apple replies.

Twilight groans and trots away. ‘And you call me crazy for believing that Celestia and Luna are divine!’

James laughs and follows Twilight. ‘Hey, hold up a sec. I’ll go with you.’ He stops and turns to Apple. ‘Hey, uh, when I scanned you earlier, I detected that you were here under some sort of psychic link. Probably due to the increased magic from getting your Element, your latent powers from your parents and some sort of trauma. The bridge is closing, and you’ll be back home soon.’ He smiles at Rei. ‘Make the most of it.’

James catches up with Twilight. Applejack joins them, and the adults start leaving.

‘Applejack, wait!’ Apple calls. The mare turns back. ‘I know you were being modest, but it is good to know the legends are true.’

Applejack smiles. ‘Thanks. That means a lot t’ me. Ah’m glad yer there t’ keep mah legacy goin’.’

Applejack and Apple bow to each other before the adults leave the two siblings alone. Rei looks up and smiles at her brother.

Apple looks down and tries running a hoof through Rei’s mane. ‘Let’s catch up while we still have a chance. Hey! Right before I got my summons, Helios blew up a school! What a dope!’

[Del]

65 - This Day in Ponyville - Deleted Scene

James wakes in the middle of the night to a scratching at his door. He gets up and finds Del looking around nervously. The little changeling looks up at the stallion.

James laughs. ‘Come on. You can stay with me tonight. Hop on in.’

Del climbs into bed, and James lays with her. The stallion gives her a big hug.

‘Don’t worry, Del. Everything is going to be okay,’ James assures. ‘You’re going to be fine. You’re safe at home now.’

‘Del is home?’

‘Mhm. This is your home now. You, me, Rei and anypony else that comes along. We’re all a family now.’

‘Del... has a family?’ She smiles and cuddles close. ‘That makes me happy. I finally feel safe.’

‘Of course you’re safe. Nothing will happen to you. I’ll watch over you forever. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, I’ll be there for you.’

Del’s smile grows. ‘Thank you... daddy.’

James laughs and hugs the sleeping changeling.

76 - Full Moon LIVE!

Chrysalis laughs at the ponies.

‘If you are ready, I would like to begin,’ the changeling says.

‘Go ahead.’ Twilight nods.

‘She’ll be okay, right?’ James asks.

‘Del will be perfectly fine,’ Chrysalis assures. ‘I only ask that you do not interfere. The ritual is a little dangerous. I would hate for you to get hurt. Del, are you ready?’

The filly jumps when she hears her name. She comes over from following the guard and stands before Chrysalis. The larger changeling nods. Del drops her disguise. She looks up at her queen.

‘This may hurt a bit, but I have your best interests at heart,’ Chrysalis promises. ‘Do not be afraid.’

Del nervously looks around. She sees Twilight writing everything down while James worries beside her. She smiles at her caretaker.

‘Del’s b... My body. My body is ready.’

Chrysalis licks her lips. ‘That is good to hear.’

In one swift motion, the changeling queen lunges down and bites Del in the neck.

‘Del!’ James shouts and tries to jump forward.

Twilight catches the stallion with her magic. ‘No. We cannot interfere!’

‘She is hurting her!’

‘Please stay back, Miste...’ Del rasps before going limp.

Chrysalis releases. She tilts her head back and drinks the remaining blood on her fangs. Del collapses to the ground. The queen lays down beside the fallen changeling and lifts her up. She directs Del to a spot on her neck. Del leans in as best as she can and bites. Chrysalis winces as her skin is pierced. Del drinks as much as she can before she gasps for air. Chrysalis coats a hoof with blood and holds it out. Del licks up as much as she can before collapsing again. Chrysalis smiles and holds the small changeling in her forelegs.

‘Very good. We are family now,’ the queen says as she nuzzles Del. She looks up. ‘I think it would be wise to get your nurse,’ she tells James. ‘We both could use a little tending to.’

‘You don’t have to tell me twice.’

James gallops out of the basement as fast as he can. Twilight continues scribbling notes.

‘This is amazing!’ the pony princess exclaims. ‘Was that some sort of coming-of-age ritual or a rite of passage of some sort?’

Chrysalis laughs. ‘Far from it. The closest description would be... a royal adoption.’

‘So, are you saying Del is like your daughter now?’

The queen looks down and licks Del’s wound a little. ‘Not exactly. Though she is without a formal family unit, what I have done is more like accepting her into my home. She would be considered a sister and potential queen. Princess Del.’

‘Fascinating. Is this how all changeling queens are made?’

‘I was born to my mother, the former queen, thank you very much,’ Chrysalis snorts. ‘I am holding off on creating a brood of my own. I am waiting for a world where my kind can be free to do as we please. I originally thought it would be when your kind was subjugated as our food source. Now... My reason for holding back is the same, but my methods have changed.’

Del lets out a loud whine. Chrysalis casts a spell on the small changeling’s neck. Twilight writes even faster as she analyzes the spell.

‘What did you just do?’ the unicorn gapes.

‘Just a simple anesthetic spell. The same one I used on your brother.’

‘What?!’

‘Are you really so surprised? I really did treat his migraines while he was under my spell. Though my wording will come off as cruel, any good farmer can tell you that you have to maintain the fields for good crops. We do not like our sources of love to run dry or our illusions to wear off, so we do care for our victims. If you hadn’t shown up, your brother probably could have released his spell on his own instead of having it shattered. The pain of magical feedback is unpleasant.’

‘I know that too well,’ Twilight sighs. ‘Thank you for telling me so much about yourself and your kind. I am sorry we haven’t had a chance to learn from each other in our past encounters.’

‘As am I, but a girl has to feed, you know.’

‘Please don’t say it like that.’

Chrysalis laughs.

81 - The Lonely Changeling and The Beautiful Unicorn

After finishing the story, James looks down at Del curled up in his forelegs. The small changeling has a large smile on her face as she falls asleep. James sighs and gives Del a gentle nuzzle.

‘Mr Wanderer...’ Del asks in her daze.

‘Yes, Del?’

‘Can you do that thing you did with Rei for me too?’

‘Are you asking me to adopt you?’

Del nods. ‘Yes, please. If you want me.’

James laughs. ‘Of course I would want you. I’ll talk it over with your sister and see what I can do.’

‘Thank you. You’re the greatest.’

‘So are you. Now, get some sleep, pretty changeling.’ James nuzzles Del again. ‘Love ya, Del.’

‘Love you too, dad.’

James laughs and settles in. Del sighs contently and falls asleep.

93 - For the Ages - Deleted Scene

James and Twilight sit at the kitchen table filling out paperwork. Del sits beside them, watching with great excitement. Twilight signs a document. James slides it and several others into an envelope and seals it. Del squeals and hugs Twilight. The princess laughs and hugs the changeling in return.

‘It isn’t official yet,’ Twilight states. ‘But I am sure everything will work out.’

Del coos. ‘I don’t care how long it takes. Thank you, mommy.’

James laughs. ‘Get used to hearing that.’

‘I think I will,’ Twilight replies. ‘It will be good practice for when we have foals of our own.’

The stallion freezes. ‘Our own?’ He smiles. ‘I look forward to that too.’

Del laughs and rubs her head in Twilight’s chest fluff. ‘I want a brother. A real handsome and smart brother who will love me and Rei and be the best brother ever.’

Twilight laughs. ‘Well, genetics don’t work exactly that way, but we do have a history of good brothers in my family.’

‘Mine got married, and I never saw him again,’ James says.

Del pokes Twilight’s muzzle with her horn. ‘He makes good brothers too. Rei talks about Apple and Helo all the time. But I know you two together will make Del the best brother ever!’ The adults laugh and hug the changeling. ‘But I want daddy and Pinkie to make me a sister. She’d be the best at that.’

The adults freeze, blush and look at the calm changeling as she nuzzles her future stepmother.

95 - Changing Perceptions - Deleted Scene

Del grumbles to herself. She carries three juice boxes on her back as she goes to her bedroom. Inside, Diamond Tiara sits on her bed. Chrysalis sits beside the filly. They are laughing jovially. Del sighs as she brings them the drinks.

‘Thank you so much for letting me meet your sister, Del,’ Diamond thanks.

Chrysalis drinks deep. ‘Indeed. She is far more enjoyable than your other friends.’

Del shudders and drinks her juice box.

97 - Big Trouble in Little Crystal Empire - Deleted Scene

The middle of the night. Shining patrols the halls of the Crystal Palace. He checks every room he comes across. The stallion stops in a lounge and looks around. He sighs and charges his horn. He pulls back a curtain to reveal Twilight. He lifts a couch to uncover Del. He opens a closet door to free his wife.

‘There. Found you,’ the stallion states. ‘Now, can we please go to bed!’

‘You haven’t found all of us,’ the princesses taunt.

Shining closes his eyes to cover up a twitch. ‘Yama, that is you disguised as the chef back there.’

A passing pony stops. A green flash covers Yama as he drops his disguise. ‘Best two out of three?’

[Celestia]

43 - It’s Great to be the Princess

‘I am not lovesick. I just do not have any close friendships outside of Luna and Twilight Sparkle. Now the two of them are growing apart from me. All of my previous prized pupils are dead and gone. The hope of regaining my sister was what kept me from feeling lonely those thousand years. It feels too soon to lose her again and at the same time as my current prized pupil leaves me as well.’ Celestia kicks at the ground, cracking the boards beneath her a little. ‘It is so lonely being at the top. Despite the rumors, it is not great to be the princess.’

‘Twilight can live out several full lives before I live out my first regeneration. Do you know what keeps me going?’

‘What?’

James looks around nervously. ‘It is a secret. Come closer.’

‘You’re not going to try kissing me again, are you?’

‘Promise.’

Celestia sighs and leans down. James reaches up and boops the princess on the nose. She stares at the earth pony who is currently violating several levels of royal protocol and would likely be in irons if the princesses felt the need to bring guards with them. Celestia takes a deep breath and turns her attention back to the train platform. She dons her necklace to retake her disguise as Amy.

‘Of all of the things I might have expected from you, that is possibly the last.’

‘Was it good for you, too?’

‘Just be quiet until Luna arrives.’

James laughs and sits with the princess. After a few seconds, she lifts a foreleg and punches the stallion in the shoulder, knocking him to the platform. She laughs to herself as he picks himself up.

53 - Turning Neighponese

The Furious Physicist stands on Celestia’s back. He has one foreleg around her neck and is aiming his sonic screwdriver at her horn. She is pinned to the ground near a black, insectoid/pony-like creature that is chained to the ground. They are surrounded by royal unicorn and pegasus guards. Shining Armor levitates a spear beside him as he steps forward.

‘Let her go, Wanderer!’

‘After you let it go! You cannot keep a living being as some science experiment!’

‘Mr Wanderer, the creature can teach us things about changeling magic,’ Celestia argues. ‘We can make great strides in our study of illusions and cloaking magic. We can be better prepared in case they come back.’

‘You are torturing the poor creature. Free! It! Now!’

‘Isn’t that what you are doing to me?’ Celestia groans.

‘Only if it is chained for one second longer.’

The princess shudders. ‘You are paying for the entire trip.’

‘I figured as much.’

‘Shining Armor.’

‘Yes, Princess Celestia?’

‘Free the changeling. Let it escape back to the swarm.’

‘Are you sure that is wise? You are not giving into a terrorist threat.’

‘Let’s just say this is far kinder than his argument for granting non-pony citizens the right to vote.’

‘Was that covering the city in poison joke flowers or organizing nationwide protests on your birthday?’

‘The poison joke one. I was the one that helped you fill the parliament building, remember?’

James laughs. ‘Good times.’

‘Uh... Princess?’

Celestia glares at Shining Armor. ‘Just release it already. And find me the general whose idea it was to cage it. I feel a public dressing down is in order.’

‘Y-yes, mum!’ Shining turns to the guards. ‘Guards, release the changeling! We are, uh...’

‘Escort,’ Celestia supplies.

‘We are to escort it from the city.’

‘Country.’

‘Escort it from the country.’

‘Full honor guard, right, Celi?’

‘Indeed, Mr Wanderer.’

Shining Armor groans. ‘Guards... Do as they say.’

The changeling is unbound. It snarls at the guards as it figures out what is going on. James smiles and offers a friendly hoof. It sniffs then backs to a safe corner. Celestia stands, dropping her captor to the ground. She bows to the changeling.

‘You are free to leave now. I humbly apologize for your captivity.’ She turns to James. ‘Is that delicious eatery open late nights?’

‘It should still be open now.’

‘Wonderful! Captain Shining Armor, I am sure you can handle it from here.’

‘Yes, mum...’ Shining Armor groans.

Celestia and James trot out together. The stallion stops to place a hoof on the defeated captain of the guard’s shoulder.

‘No hard feelings, right, bro? Well, I mean except the one. That I have. For you.’

The unicorn grimaces back at his little sister’s coltfriend.

‘Marry me,’ James says bluntly.

‘Mr Wanderer! I’m waiting.’ Celestia calls

James gallops to catch up with the princess. He turns and gives the ‘call me’ motion to the unfortunate unicorn.

87 - League of Harmony (part 1) - Deleted Scene

Celestia returns to her room after her meeting with Luna, Cadence and Osiris. She groans when she sees her escort still awake. Worst of all, he is sitting nowhere near the bed while he plays a game.

‘Don’t you ever sleep?’ Celestia snorts.

James moans, ‘You sound just like Twilight.’ He glances over his game. ‘How was your “secret” meeting?’

The princess groans and lays on the bed. ‘They still want to let her in.’

‘You mean “we”.’

Celestia growls. ‘I might have some regret about the way I treated her grandmother. It was wrong to treat a young filly that way.’ She pulls the pillows under her. ‘And it was wrong for her mother to be murdered while tending to her brood...’

‘Just because they are changelings...’

Celestia rolls over and kicks her legs. ‘That doesn’t..! I mean, she isn’t..! I don’t wanna let her in! It would be admitting that I don’t mind having her around! And think she’s cute! And want to have another friend as old as me!’

‘She is pretty cute.’

‘Verily.’

‘But she has eyes for your niece and her husband.’

Celestia cuddles a pillow on her chest. ‘Why doesn’t anypony that I think is cute like me too?’

‘You’re plenty cute. We just think somepony else is cuter.’

Celestia moans again. ‘She really is a pest, though. We have mastered dealing with changelings, but her past attacks have been quite annoying.’

‘If Twilight, Cadence, Shining and Luna are willing to forgive her...’

‘So am I!’ She blushes and covers her face. ‘I just don’t want her to know it...’

‘Anypony ever tell you that you’re really weird?’

A pillow flies across the room and hits James in the face.

Celestia immediately levitates the pillow back under her. ‘Are you coming to bed or not?’

James sighs and closes his game. ‘Do I have to?’

The princess pulls him over and wraps him in a hug. ‘Yes. I need cuddles.’

‘Just keep the hooves above the...’

Celestia snores into the stallion’s ears. James sighs, gets out is sonic and turns off the lights.

[Stormy & Trixie]

16 - Like a Lady

Rarity returns home after doing some shopping. She is all ready to make a fantastic dinner for herself. As she nears her home, she hears shouting and the distinct sounds of Ponyville’s finest making an arrest. She sets her shopping at her porch and decides to get on the gossip train early. She makes her way over to the location of the shouting. As she nears, she picks up her pace. Outside a house, a dark blue unicorn is being escorted away by the Ponyville police. He is shouting all sorts of obscenities and racial epithets at the officers and the pony he was in conflict with. At the residence, an EMT is tending to Stormy. The colt nods at Rarity as she rushes over.

‘It’s cool. She’s a friend,’ Stormy tells the EMT to let her near.

‘What happened here?’ Rarity demands.

‘Well, I got into telling my dad off as I told you earlier.’ Stormy answers. ‘Things got a little heated and well, this happened.’

‘Are you okay?’

‘Meh.’

‘His right foreleg is broken and he has a pretty nasty crack on his horn,’ The EMT explains. ‘I am surprised he hasn’t passed out from the pain.’

‘But he has an important job interview out of town that is coming up. Will be able to make it?’

‘Since his dad will be in jail and he has no other relatives in the town, he’ll be lucky if we let him out of the hospital any time soon.’

‘It is fine, Miss Rarity,’ Stormy gives a weak grin. ‘I can take care of myself. I can be strong for you, too.’

The EMT pushes Rarity back. ‘Sorry. We have to get him to the hospital now. You can see him in the morning during regular visiting hours.’

The EMT helps Stormy onto a stretcher and a pair of pegasi fly him away. Rarity sadly watches her new friend leave again. Then she gets an idea and takes off galloping.

18 - Obnoxious and Annoying - Deleted Scene

Applejack yawns as she takes a turn pulling Trixie’s wagon back to town. Rarity has fallen asleep on the back of the wagon. Twilight and Trixie trot beside Applejack.

‘Thank you so much for the help,’ Trixie thanks. ‘I could have done this myself.’

‘Ain’t no problem,’ Applejack replies. ‘Ah’m happy t’ help after ya took a bit of a swim. What are friends fer?’

‘Right. Thank you. I’ve... never really had a friend before Twilight.’

‘When did that happen?’ Rarity moans, waking up.

‘It was after our duel,’ Twilight explains.

‘I thought you were rivals or some such thing.’

‘You can be friends and rivals,’ Trixie snorts. ‘There is no law against it.’

Twilight levitates a parchment in front of her. ‘By royal decree of Princess Sparkle, you cannot be friends with a rival.’ She signs the parchment. ‘Done!’

Trixie growls while the others laugh. Rarity looks up.

‘Oh! This is my stop. See you in the morning.’

The unicorn happily trots away into Carousel Boutique.

‘We’re near The Power Block, too,’ Twilight notes. ‘I’ll get those two back. See you at the library?’

‘Indeed,’ Trixie replies, bowing.

Twilight helps James and Rei from the wagon and escorts them away. Trixie and Applejack continue towards the library in silence They notice a shop open.

‘Ooo! I’m going to make a quick stop,’ Trixie says. ‘Do you want anything? My treat.’

‘Nah. Go ahead.’

Trixie bows and goes inside. The convenience store clerk looks up then back down at his magazine. Trixie browses the aisles until she spots a drink she wants. She grips it with her magic right when a magenta aura surrounds it.

‘Oh, sorry. You take it,’ a magenta colt says.

‘No, go ahead,’ Trixie replies.

Stormy shakes his head. ‘It is yours. My mother wouldn’t want me taking something from a pretty lady like yourself.’

Trixie blushes and takes the drink. Stormy gets one for himself. They pay and leave.

‘See you around!’ Trixie calls as Stormy trots away.

The young gentlecolt turns and bows. ‘I look forward to seeing you again.’

Trixie giggles and tries to contain a squeal as she regroups with Applejack.

20 - Holiday Cheer

At Ponyville Medical, a dark purple unicorn is resting in her bed. There is a brief flash of light in the room, and Stormy steps into the room. The resting mare stirs in her bed.

‘Who is there?’ the unicorn, Raspberry Soufflé, asks as she sits up.

‘Uh.... hey?’ Stormy replies.

There are a pair of thuds from behind Stormy coming from obvious facehooves.

‘Strawberry?’ Raspberry spots Stormy. ‘Oh! It is you Strawberry!’ She waves Stormy over. ‘Come here! I am so glad to see you!’

‘It is good to see you, too, mom.’

‘Look at you. All grown up.’ Raspberry takes in her son. ‘My boy grows up to be such a handsome young stallion.’ She eyes him. ‘That beard is a bit ridiculous though. Don’t tell me you are growing it to impress some mare.’

‘She is my boss...’

‘Oh no. No, no, no. When you get back to your time or whatever, you tell her that your mom won’t let you grow another beard for a few more years. Not until you are old enough.’

Stormy is confused. ‘Okay. How did you know I am from another time?’ A swear is heard in the darkness behind him. ‘Aren’t you the least bit curious how I got here?’

‘Strawberry, if you are here, now, like this, I know with even more certainty what I have known for a while now. Something I have known since long before I met your father. I am just glad to see my beautiful boy one last time before I leave you.’

Stormy cannot force back tears.

Raspberry sighs, ‘Strawberry. Sit with me for a moment.’

Stormy goes over and does what he is told.

‘Strawberry. I don’t know what he told you after I saw you last. I don’t know what he will tell you after I go. I don’t want to know so don’t bother opening your mouth. I have known what has been happening to me for a long time now. I really wanted to tell you not to worry and just be honest with you, but I was afraid you wouldn’t understand. Whatever miracle or spell or scientific advance that allows you to be here gives me that chance. I can see you become a fine young stallion. You are probably real upset that I had to leave you, especially with how he is, but know that all of our time together have been the best years of my life. And, when I pass, I will be happy because of seeing my most favorite pony in the whole world one last time.’

Stormy cannot fight it any longer. He breaks down crying where he sits. Raspberry motions him to her, and she holds him while they cry together.

‘Strawberry, I love you so much.’

‘I love you too, mommy.’

They continue hugging for several more moments.

‘You are the greatest son ever.’

‘I guess...’

‘It is true. Don’t let anypony tell you different.‘ Raspberry lets him go a second. ‘He did that to you.’ She eyes the cast on his horn and growls. ‘Don’t feel bad. A crack or two just makes magic more fun. Makes baking exciting.’ She points out some small, healed-over cracks on her horn.

‘Mom...’

‘What? You came all this way to worry about me. Why can’t I take ten seconds to worry about you?’

‘Mom...’

‘Uh... Stormy? We should get going.’

Stormy and Raspberry look to see Trixie standing in the room.

‘Is this the mare?’ Raspberry asks. ‘She is cu~ute.’ Trixie blushes. ‘Ditch the beard.’

‘Mom!’

‘She’s right.’

‘Trixie!’

Stormy growls. Trixie and Raspberry laugh at the young stallion.

‘Strawberry.’ Raspberry motions him in again. They hug again. ‘I love my little colt so much. You made me so happy.’

‘I love you too, mom. Forever. ... Happy holidays.’

‘Happy holidays, Strawberry.’ Raspberry looks up, past Trixie and right to the TARDIS. ‘Thank you for this special moment.’

30 - RSI and the Confusing Mystery of the Enigmatic Conundrum

Not too long down the road, they hear a wagon approaching from behind. The wagon is being pulled by a pair oxen and is being driven by a dark blue earth pony.

‘Well, howdy!’ The pony greets. 'What is a nice troop of fillies doing out here like this?’

‘Actually, sir...’ Stormy starts before Rei pushes him out of the way.

Rei strikes the sexiest pose she can muster. 'Me and my friends are on our way to our sorority’s annual bikinis and alcohol party in Hoofington. Not that a big strong stallion like you would be interested in that.’

‘Hoofington? Well, shoot! I'm headed there myself. Would you like a lift?’

‘Oh, we'd hate to be a burden. How could we ever repay you?’

‘Just have one of y'all ride up front with me for some company will be good enough.’

‘Thank you!’ Rei cheers with the biggest smile.

‘You're the one riding up front.’ Stormy grumbles at Rei.

Rei starts heading to the front of the wagon, but the earth pony stops her.

'No, no. The unicorn.’

Stormy grimaces He looks back at his friends, but Rei has already rushed around the cart so she can listen in to any conversation that takes place. Inkie looks nervous for her friend but resigns him to his fate. Stormy sighs and climbs up next to the driver. Once the travelers are on the wagon, the driver starts the journey again.

‘Pretty long trip to Hoofington,' the driver says.

Stormy just nods.

‘Sounds like you have a wild party ahead of you.’

Stormy gives out an annoyed grumble.

The driver puts a foreleg across Stormy's shoulder. ‘Say, why don't we put that horn of yours to good use?’

Stormy pales and pushes away from the driver. A laugh is heard from the back of the wagon.

‘Whoa! Okay. I was going to be civil for my friend's sake, but that is too far. I am not a filly!’

The driver smiles at Stormy. ‘I know.’

Stormy's face drops. The driver leans in close. Suddenly, the entire front of the wagon explodes, and the driver is sent flying into the air. A trail of magical smoke is coming from Stormy's horn. The oxen look back then take off running. From the exposed back of the wagon, Rei is rolling around laughing as hard as she possibly can. The oxen look back again.

‘Thank you for taking care of him,’ one of the oxen says.

‘You would not believe the things he has done to us,’ the other adds.

‘Did you hear what he wanted me to do!?’ Stormy shouts. ‘I would believe you!’

The oxen nod and keep running down the road to Hoofington.

32 - Super Mario Legend of Fantasy Gears of Creed Metal Gear the Hedgehog Gaiden Country Crossing Kart Chrono Theft Auto Hearts Tales of Fate/stay Leaf Green Versus Capcom III: Revenge of Quest de Amigo

Trixie closes her eyes and focuses on a spell. She opens her eyes, and they are glowing with magical energies. A massive lightning bolt comes from Trixie’s horn and strikes the Steel Mechorilla’s fist. It roars and freezes in place. Trixie falls back and sits. Her head is spinning as the magical energy dissipates.

Trixie laughs nervously. ‘And that, ladies and gentleponies, is why they call me Great and Powerful.’

‘You idiot!’ Lucas shouts.

‘What’s the big deal?’ Stormy asks. ‘It is weak to lightning.’

‘Yes, and it can send it into a rage too.’

Trixie shakes off the remaining haze. ‘Do what?’

The Steel Mechorilla roars and come to life again. Its robotic parts start steaming and it swings wildly. Lucas and Trixie are able to raise magical shields in time and are only pushed back with minimal damage, but Stormy takes a hit and goes flying into the mountains surrounding the battlefield.

‘Stormy!’ Trixie cries.

‘Idiots!’ Lucas shouts.

Lucas charges a spell and shoots a series of small fireballs at the Steel Mechorilla. They explode on contact. The Steel Mechorilla’s mechanical parts shatter, and the beast collapses and dies. Trixie rushes over to Stormy’s side.

‘Stormy!’ Trixie cries. ‘Are you you okay? Stormy!’

‘Don’t forget to apologize for causing him to get hurt,’ Lucas sneers.

‘Shut up!’ Trixie shouts back with tears streaming down her face. ‘Just use your healing magic to help him!’

Lucas sighs and readies a spell, but Stormy coughs and groans. He looks up and sees Trixie crying over him.

Stormy smiles. ‘I should get my ass whooped more often. I keep getting pretty ladies caring for me when I wake up.’

Trixie smiles and hugs Stormy. ‘Idiot.’

45 - Blast from the Past

Time traveling and spying on your parents when they are a little older than you is thirsty work. Twilight washes up after using the little filly’s room when a second pony joins her at the sink. The other patron looks at the young mare.

‘You look a little familiar,’ Amelia says. ‘Have we met?’

Twilight grimaces. ‘Not that I know of.’

‘Hmm. You must have one of those faces.’ Amelia giggles. ‘A cute face at that.’

‘Heh, heh. Thanks.’

Twilight makes her way to the door, trying to avoid the other mare.

Amelia stares in the mirror and sighs. ‘Miss, may I ask you a question?’

‘Was that it?’ Twilight laughs.

‘Oh, I like you. Actually, it is more something I should ask my husband or friends, but, well, I have good feeling about you.’

‘Um.... Thank you?’

‘As you might be able to tell, I am with foal, but I am without a name for the darling. Do you have any suggestions?’

‘Uh... Beatrice would be a nice name,’ Twilight suggests.

‘Hmm... Beatrice... Bea... No, Trix. Trixie. Ah! I love it! The Mysterious and Alluring Amelia thanks you, kind unicorn.’

Twilight is shocked. ‘No... problem...’

Twilight finally leaves the washroom and rushes back to her table. Her friends look at her.

‘Y’all okay?’

The shocked alicorn laughs nervously. ‘Oh, fine. Perfectly fine.’

‘Did something happen?’ Fluttershy asks.

‘Oh, nothing. Nothing. I just named Trixie. Nothing major.’

Twilight’s friends stare at the princess in shock.

‘Isn’ that exactly the timeline changin’ thin’s James told us t’ avoid?’

‘To-to-to be fair, we never knew where her name came from.’

Applejack sighs and shakes her head. Fluttershy starts giggling at her friend.

62 - First day of School

Stormy trots up to the Ponyville Schoolhouse. His legs are shaking. A hoof to the shoulder calms him. He looks up at his smiling mother. She is breathing heavier than she should for a young mare.

‘It is okay, Strawberry. No need to be scared.’

‘But, mommy...’

Raspberry leans down and hugs her son. ‘You are my lovely Strawberry. You are big and brave and strong. You are going to be fine. Everypony is going to love you, too.’

‘Are you sure, mommy?’

‘I am certain. You have to be strong, for me. Mommy needs her son to be strong.’

‘I will, mommy! I will be strong for you! You’ll see! I’ll make you proud!’

Stormy gallops off to go to school. Raspberry smiles and trots away. She does not get far into town before she collapses.

64 - Family in Motion

The visiting unicorn clears his throat. ‘Actually, I am from Strawberry’s father’s side.’ The two other unicorns grimace. ‘My name is Blackberry Sorbet. Truth be told, I think I am his real father.’

The other unicorns stare at Blackberry in shock. Both hosts pull the fainting couch over in time for Rarity to collapse.

‘Well, damn,’ is the best comment Stormy can come up with. After a few moments to let the shock sink in, he asks, ‘Do you have any proof?’

‘You are named after the first pony your mother ever loved,’ Blackberry replies.

Stormy shrugs. ‘Good enough for me.’ He gets up from his post. ‘Let’s go to the back. I can make some coffee. We have some pretty good blends.’ He stops by Rarity’s couch. ‘I’m on break. You can join us when you are through here.’

‘Will do,’ Rarity replies before going back to swooning.

Stormy motions for Blackberry to follow, and they head to the back. Another visitor enters the shop.

‘Can’t talk. Busy swooning,’ Rarity tells the guest.

The patron groans and leaves the shop.

68 - Sweet Sorbet - Deleted Scene

It is the last day of Lemon’s visit. Though sad to see her go, Stormy is happy that he’ll be getting his bed back. After the Everfree incident, Lemon insisted on sleeping with Stormy every night since. Jealous, Sweetie whined until Stormy let her stay with them too.

The younger unicorns sigh happily as they nuzzle their big brother.

‘I love you,’ Sweetie coos in her sleep.

‘I love you too,’ Lemon replies.

The fillies wake, look at each other, blush and squeak. Forelegs wrap around the two fillies.

‘And I love both of you,’ Stormy adds. ‘Now, will you let me up? I need to use the washroom.’

78 - Sweetie Belle’s First Date

Stormy yawns as his head hits pillow. He briefly turns on his mobile and smiles at a photo of Trixie before he closes his eyes. After a happy sigh, there is a knock on the door.

‘Shouldn’t you be in bed?’ Stormy grumbles.

Sweetie Belle peeks in. ‘Can I come in?’

‘What is it?’

‘C-can I stay with you tonight?’

‘Go to bed, Sweetie Belle.’

‘Stormy! Please! I know that couples stay together after a date. I’ve seen guys stay with Rarity, and I know you stay with Trixie when she is in town. … You let Lemon sleep with you! She’s your sister!’

Stormy groans. He pulls back the sheets a bit. ‘At least you don’t know what comes after kissing...’ he grumbles to himself.

Sweetie smiles and climbs into bed. She cuddles up extra close to Stormy. The young man sighs and tries falling asleep.

‘Stormy... I’m sorry if I am annoying sometimes.’

‘It is okay, Sweetie. I know you mean well.’ He rolls over and kisses the back of Sweetie’s head. ‘Hey, a few times today, you seemed like you wanted to tell me something. We’re pretty alone now. What was on your mind?’

‘Actually...’ Sweetie squirms a little. ‘I said it earlier. I think you didn’t think much of it, but I do love you, Stormy.’

‘I love you too. You’re like a little sister to me.’

‘No... I really mean it.’

Stormy sighs. ‘I think you are getting familial love confused with something more because we are not really related. We’re a family, Sweetie Belle. We can’t be anything more than that.’

‘I was hoping... I mean, I am not as dumb as I seem. I know what comes after kissing...What is it that Mr Wanderer says?’

Stormy hugs his sister and shakes his head. ‘No, it is not. Hopefully not for a long time. And especially not with me.’

Sweetie starts crying. ‘I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. You probably think I am a sick pervert. … You’re probably right...’

‘Sweetie, you are still growing up and figuring yourself out. You have your lovely sister and a great mother who will help you understand what you are feeling. Failing that, I can always ask Rei for you.’

‘Why do you always recommend her?’

‘Because until I got up close and personal with Trixie, Rei was more than willing to give me anatomy lessons. … She still is...’

‘She’s weird. That whole household is weird.’

‘Yeah, but they are also great.’

Sweetie sighs. ‘I love you, Stormy.’

‘I love you, Sweetie. Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight.’

The siblings cuddle together and fall asleep.

[The Trio ad Libitum & Daring Do]

11 - Insufferable - Deleted Scene

Octavia wakes in the middle of the night. She shivers as she looks around the conference room. The half-asleep pony spots Vinyl and The Wandering Pest laying together beside a wall. She growls and trots over to them.

‘She’s mine,’ Octavia snorts, kicking the stallion in the leg.

She glares at the sleeping ponies and shivers again. Octavia groans and lays down. Suddenly, The Sleeping Physicist whips his forelegs out and grabs Octavia. The mare squeaks, but it turns into a sigh as she cuddles close.

‘Although, this works great too,’ the cellist sighs as she falls back asleep.

19 - Human Nature

A few days later, Lyra and Bon Bon are out on a reconciliation picnic date in the park. Lyra still gets upset glares from the ponies she followed, but she is doing her best to ignore them. The couple are having a very peaceful time until a white streak with blue tint passes by.

‘Get back here!’ The Wandering Physicist yells as he chases the streak. ‘Wait until I get my hands on you!’

Lyra bolts upright. ‘Hands!’

‘Sit down, dear,’ Bon Bon sighs.

Lyra stands for a moment then sits back down. She and Bon Bon watch the chase unfolding in front of them.

Current subject: The Wandering Physicist. Status: Time Lord. NOT human. Description: Earth pony. Average height, average build. Brown coat. Black mane and tail. Black glasses. Cutie mark: A smaller, distorted version of himself. Still weird. Profession: Owner and operator of the local video game store. Associates: Lucas Grainborough (pony), Twilight Sparkle (pony - maybe), Rei Tsukiyo (pony?), Pinkie Pie (pony... maybe), and more. Current location: In the park chasing Rei. End log.

37 - Trio ad Libitum

There are two schools of thought when it comes to covert operations. One idea is to be as invisible as possible. Don’t stand out in any way. Nopony gives a second glance to the business pony, donut maker or adorable barista. All the better to hide in plain sight. The other school of thought is to make yourself as visible as possible. A famous actress or prominent musician can get more access than a baker. Not to mention the financial and political benefits that come from being famous. Also, when in doubt, press conference.
Octavia, Lyra, and Silver, in her disguise as Vulpe d’Argento, sit in front of microphones as they face the press. All of the photographers present snap away while the reporters jockey to get in position to ask questions.

42 - Putting on a Show - Deleted Scene

A few deep breaths later, Silver knocks on the door. A blue-white pegasus mare with a pale blue mane answers. The pegasus gasps in shock. Silver stares back, not knowing how to respond. The pegasus looks Silver over carefully.

‘You have gotten so beautiful since you grew up.’

‘Thanks, mommy,’ Silver mumbles.

‘Oh, come on. You don’t talk like that on your TV show. Get in here! We have a lot to catch up on.’

Silver smiles and nods. She follows her mother into the apartment she grew up in. The walls are covered in clippings from Silver’s acting career. There is even a large poster from the Trio’s concert in Canterlot. The young mare is shocked at what she sees.

‘M-mom,’ Silver stammers. ‘You knew?’

Arctic smiles and hugs her daughter. ‘You’re my baby girl. How could I not know?’

Silver chokes back tears. ‘I love you, mom.’

‘I love you, too.’ Arctic lets go. ‘Come on. It was my birthday recently. I think there is still some cake left.’

‘That would be great,’ Silver laughs.

46 - Reunion - Deleted Scene

Mel and Arctic try resting on the train ride back to Canterlot. Both have a lot on their mind after the visit with Stormy. The pegasus struggles to get comfortable on her bench while the earth pony taps her mobile.

Arctic groans and looks at her friend. ‘When is the earliest I can interview for the job?’

‘Tomorrow morning,’ Mel replies. ‘That afternoon if you want to raid my closet first.’

‘Afternoon it is.’ She takes a deep breath. ‘I always hoped Raspberry found Mr Strawberry again and ran off with him. I never expected her to...’

‘Me too... She deserved better than... What am I saying? We saw her son! She would be very proud of him.’

Arctic smiles. ‘Yeah. We all ended up with great kids.’ She laughs. ‘Great, famous kids.’

‘So she finally told you?’

‘Took her long enough. She was so scared I would be mad about her extracurricular activities.’

‘You were pretty strict about earning everything on your own and not taking from others.’

‘She breaks in to provide security improvements! With her advice, we’ll never have those awful changelings back in Canterlot.’ She sits up. ‘Besides, what about Octavia? You sent her for secret training too. Her crimes are probably worse.’

Mel turns her nose up. ‘History will judge our actions to have been the right ones.’

‘If I get the job, I am definitely getting our girls in for guest lectures.’

‘Octavia already goes voluntarily.’

‘Show off.’

Mel coughs. ‘If the Trio needs a base for any reason...’

Arctic poses. ‘You have my word as headmaster that no illegal activities are going on on my campus.’

Mel looks away slightly. ‘We’ll have Silver give you acting lessons right away.’

‘What was that!’

Mel laughs at her friend and goes back to work. Arctic gets out a bag of candy and starts eating. Mel looks over.

‘Hey! That is my candy!’

Arctic eats another piece. ‘Oh. I guess Silver doesn’t need to train me after all.’

Mel growls at her friend and goes back to work. Arctic laughs and tosses the bag back as she tries settling again.

52 - Daring Do and The Enigmatic Scientist

James searches his house. He has lost something very important. He goes to one of the bedrooms and finds a pegasus reading on her bed.

‘Daring, have you seen the letter from Celestia with your instructions for when we first met? I haven’t seen it since I went back and... Never mind. Clever, Discord.’

Daring Do looks back from her bed. ‘Oh, hey. Can you believe this crap?’ She hits her book. ‘My editor butchered my last book! Mother bucking refrigerator.’

James laughs. ‘Just don’t watch the movie. Speaking of, Rei and I are going to be up a bit longer. You can come out and join us if you want.’

‘Maybe in a bit. I am still getting settled as a fugitive from time.’

‘Take as long as you need. We are happy to help you.’

‘Thanks.’ Daring smiles. ‘Uh, Mr uh... Wandering...’

‘Just call me James. All of my closest friends do.’

‘Right. James. Um, thank you. Thank you for this, I mean. I was in a really bad place, and Vicki and her family couldn’t help me. Thank you for saving me.’

‘What are friends for if not being there when you need them?’

‘Right. I won’t let this go to waste.’

‘I know you won’t.’ James smiles and turns to leave. ‘Oh! And if I catch you in either my or Rei’s room, I will kill you.’

‘Fair enough, cutie.’

They laugh, and James goes out to join his daughter. Daring picks up her book and leans back on her bed.

‘A chance at a new life. New adventures. New friends. I’ve never felt more alive.’

59 - Live From Budokan - Deleted Scene

Lyra analyzes the data Silver retrieved. She and Vinyl light the room with their horns. Kaeko serves reheated coffee. Even without a light, Octavia is able to find and mix a drink for herself.

‘How can you think of drinking at a time like this?’ Kaeko asks.

‘What else are you supposed to do when the power is out?’ Octavia asks.

‘I remember when we had a place together...’ Vinyl begins.

‘Don’t!’

‘We had a big power outage...’

‘If you finish that story...’

The DJ grins. ‘We did things all night long...’

‘Not one more word!’

‘Because Tavi was so scared of the darkness and didn’t want to be left alone. We played so many board games by magic light.’

‘I hate you! Why would you tell them that! It was private!’

Vinyl laughs. ‘You are so cute when you are upset.’

Octavia throws her drink in Vinyl’s face and storms away. Daring looks over Lyra’s shoulder.

‘Things have really changed since my day.’ The pegasus sips her coffee. ‘We’d be sitting around with flashlights in our mouths reading stacks of papers. Now, you just Google it.’ She sips again. ‘Shoulda kept James’ mobile when I showed him Celestia’s panties.’

Kaeko stares in shock.

‘Still have them?’ Lyra asks.

‘Maybe~’ Daring teases. She leans close. ‘So silky smooth.’

Lyra’s magic flares in excitement. Silver blushes and taps Daring on the shoulder.

‘Um, Miss Do...’

‘Call me “Daring”, cutie. Everypony does.’

‘Um, right. If you don’t mind me asking, can you tell us how you ended up here?’ Silver looks away. ‘I told you I was a big fan, but I remembered your biography. It said you...’

Daring laughs and rubs the back of her head. ‘Well, you see, archaeology is an imprecise science.’

Octavia stomps back into the room, straight to the bar. ‘My organization supplied the body and faked her death.’ She glares at Kaeko. ‘Though some of us were in the know longer than I was.’

‘I might have retired to run my shop, but you cannot help but notice when something is going on in that household. First, a time-traveling alien. Then, his interdimensional daughter. Now, a fugitive from her past. What’s next? The little sister of the changeling queen?’

‘I wonder how Chryssy is doing,’ Daring muses. ‘I hope she is still around.’ She sighs. ‘She was such a good singer.’

‘I’m in!’ Lyra declares.

The others gather around the screen to see what they can learn.

61 - Anyway You Slice It - Deleted Scene

Lyra stands, on her hind legs no less, in her kitchen as she makes lunch for herself. She slices her sandwich and sits at the table. Bon Bon trots in, rolls her eyes at the way her wife is sitting and goes to make lunch for herself. As she works, she looks over at what Lyra is eating and gasps.

‘What are you doing?’ Bon Bon asks.

‘Having lunch.’

‘But that... It is shaped all wrong.’

Lyra levitates half her sandwich. ‘What? This? Nah. That is how they always are. So good too.’

She runs her tongue over the sandwich before taking a bite.

‘Oh my Celestia! You actually put it in your mouth. That is just disgusting.’

‘This is what I enjoy. So long and pointy. You get more in too.’

‘That is sick,’ Bon Bon gags.

‘How do you do it then?’

Bon Bon lifts half her sandwich. ‘Like this.’ She takes a big bite.

‘But that is all wide. You can barely get any in. Not to mention, the mayo is dripping everywhere.’

Bon Bon licks her hooves clean. ‘That is half the fun.’

‘That is just wrong.’ Lyra levitates the other half of her sandwich. ‘Here. Try mine. It is so much better. You’ll love it.’

‘No thanks. Besides, it is all limp the way you’re holding it.’

‘It is much bigger when you get it inside you.’ She levitates it closer. ‘Take a bite.’

‘No.’

‘Take it.’

‘No!’

‘Put it in your mouth!’

‘NO!’ Bon Bon slaps the sandwich across the room. ‘That is sick and wrong and just plain horrible!’

‘If you try it, you’ll like it!’

Bon Bon closes her eyes and seethes. ‘I don’t mind your human obsession. I’ve made peace with your information gathering. But this... I just cannot forgive this.’

‘Well, I’m not a prude like you.’ Lyra takes Bon Bon’s sandwich and bites it. She immediately spits it out. ‘Ugh! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever put in my mouth! How can you stand it? Are you thick or something?’

Bon Bon’s anger snaps. ‘That is the stupidest, most pig-headed thing you have ever said!’ she shouts.

‘That is how it has always been! You are stupid and wrong!’ Lyra shouts back.

The couple butt heads and growl. Both are furious with the other.

‘That is not something I am having in my house,’ Bon Bon snarls.

‘Fine! Then I will take it where it is appreciated!’

Lyra storms to her study and starts packing a few belongings, including her laptop and lyre. Bon Bon glares as her wife goes to the front door.

‘I can’t believe you would ask me to do such a thing,’ the confectioner snorts.

‘Maybe if you were more open-minded you might just enjoy it,’ Lyra retorts.

The unicorn stomps out of the house and magically slams the door behind her.

84 - 137 Short Scenes About Hearts and Hooves Day

‘Okay, Lyra. You are on your own, in your wife’s shop and coated in chocolate. I have to use all of my skills to get out of this predicament. Human Instinct! Activate!’

Lyra lights up her horn, surrounding her in an aura. When the aura dies down, nothing happens. The unicorn stands firm as if waiting for something. After several moments, the unicorn looks down.

‘Well, sh-’

[CMC]

06 - Day Off to Work - Deleted Scene

James and Sweetie Belle sit at a Neighponese restaurant, waiting for their meal to arrive. The filly has trouble getting her chopsticks to work, despite holding them with her magic. James calmly picks up a bit of tsukemono.

‘Need a bit of help?’ the stallion asks.

‘I think I got it,’ Sweetie groans.

The filly focuses her magic. She slowly picks up a piece of tsukemono and moves it to her mouth. Then, SNAP! The tsukemono drops to Sweetie’s lap as her chopsticks shoot to the sides. One knocks over a waitress’ tray. The other earns a scream from an injured patron.

Sweetie frowns and looks down. ‘Please don’t tell Rarity about this.’

26 - Variable Substitution

Late at night, a small figure runs through Ponyville and stops in front of a well-appointed house. It extends small wings and flies up to a window. It taps the window, and Diamond Tiara answers.

‘Uh... hey?’ Scootaloo greets.

‘Hi... Are you okay?’

‘Yeah. I just told my dad I got hurt crusading again. Good excuse that covers almost everything.’

‘That is good.’

‘Hey... I, uh, found this back on the planet. I couldn’t give it to you earlier since Mr Wanderer booted us all out before your dad got there. I thought you would want it back.’

Scootaloo gets out a battered tiara and gives it to Diamond Tiara. She holds back tears for a moment before accepting the gift from her friend.

‘Thank you.’ Diamond Tiara does a small laugh. ‘I guess we have something interesting to report to Cheerilee in the morning.’

Scootaloo laughs. ‘Yeah. A big adventure.’ She rubs the back of her head and looks embarrassed. ‘Hey, uh, don’t tell anypony this but I really like you. I mean, really like you.’

Diamond Tiara blushes. She looks around nervously. ‘I really like you too.’

Scootaloo is shock and forgets to flap her wings for a moment before catching herself. Diamond Tiara laughs and gives Scootaloo a quick kiss before closing her window. Scootaloo flies away feeling pretty happy.

39 - Apple Bloom's First Date

‘Actually...’ Apple Bloom blushes. ‘There is one thing ya can do to make it perfect...’

James smiles. ‘Yes?’

Apple Bloom blushes brighter red. She closes her eyes and leans up for a kiss. James laughs and starts leaning down. In the house, Pinkie holds Twilight from running out while Big Macintosh holds his sister back. James kisses Apple Bloom on the forehead and backs off. The two women in the house ease up. Apple Bloom opens her eyes and stares up at her date.

‘But ya were supposed t’...’

Apple Bloom’s lip start trembling, and she starts tearing up. The two other women and Big Macintosh have to hold Applejack from running out of the house. James crouches down and hugs the upset girl.

‘I know what you were expecting,’ James says. ‘It is not my place to be your first kiss. Trust me. When the time is right and you are with the right person, your first kiss will be wonderful.’

Apple Bloom calms and returns the hug. ‘Thank ya. Yer always lookin’ after me.’ She smiles. ‘It is sorta like yer mah pa the way ya take care of me like ya do.’

‘You’re a special kid. I just don’t want to see you upset.’ James stands up. ‘Come on. Let’s get you inside. I think Applejack would love to hear all about your day.’

James escorts the kid to her house.

Apple Bloom thinks. ‘Ah wish ya could be mah pa or like mah brother... That’d be fun.’

James laughs. Applejack opens the door when the couple reaches it. Apple Bloom looks up and gets a great idea upon seeing her sister.

‘Ah know! Ya should marry Applejack!’ Apple Bloom cheers.

47 - Fillies and Colts - Deleted Scene

Scootaloo’s mother escorts her daughter home. The mare breathes a sigh of relief knowing that they will be safe. She looks around her home. It feels a lot freer.

‘Scoots,’ the mare calls. ‘I know it is a bit of a shock now that your father is gone, but we’ll have to make a lot of adjustments.’ There is no reply. ‘Scoots?’

The mare sighs and trots through her home. She finds Scootaloo in her room hooking up her computer. The filly laughs and turns it on. While she is waiting for it to boot, up she notices something out of the corner of her eye.

Scootaloo screams and covers herself. ‘Privacy!’

Her mother groans. ‘We just got home for the first time in days. This is the first thing you do?’

‘Rei told me Lyra updated her stories. I wanted to check it out.’

‘We’re going to have a very long talk...’ Scootaloo’s mother groans, lifting her daughter up. ‘A long talk indeed...’

71 - TWP and the Mystery of Slumber Parties

Scootaloo laughs as she watches her friends and classmates playing games. Apple Bloom trots over after finishing her game with Twilight, Rumble, Silver Spoon and Twist.

‘Great job winning that game,’ Scootaloo congratulates.

‘Shoot. Wasn’ nothin’,’ Apple Bloom replies. She takes a deep breath. ‘Actually, it was actually quite hard.’

‘Come on. Between you and Twilight, the only way it would have been solved faster is if Mr Wanderer was playing, too.’

They look over to see James holding Diamond Tiara at bay while Ruby takes her turn.

‘Well, it mighta gone faster if Rumble didn’ get those bad draws.’

The fillies laugh. Apple Bloom sighs and smiles at her friend.

‘Hey, uh, thanks fer agreein’ t’ invite colts.’

‘No prob,’ Scootaloo replies. ‘When I heard we could have the sleepover here, I even invited Cheerilee. I was upset when more classmates didn’t say “yes”!’

The other filly kicks at the ground a bit. ‘Actually, Ah had another reason fer wantin’ t’ invite colts.’

‘What is it, AB?’

‘Well, it might sound silly but after our date, Jimmy said that mah first kiss would be “wonderful”. Ah was wantin’ t’ figure out which colt it could be.’

‘Does it have to be a colt? I mean, it is not like it is wrong to like fillies or anything.’

‘Listen, that might be okay fer everypony else, but Ah ain’t int’ other fillies.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Cause Ah socked ya in the jaw last time ya tried.’ Apple Bloom groans.

‘Hey, you got rid of those baby teeth for me. Something good came out of it.’

‘Ah guess...’

The two friends look over the room. Snips and Snails are arguing with Del to get at the drinks with Truffle Shuffle trying to keep them in line. Silver Spoon and Rumble are watching the Catan game. Silver Spoon giggles as Diamond Tiara rages and knocks the game apart, providing Featherweight with plenty of great action shots for him to photograph. Pipsqueak and Dinky are nowhere to be found, but Sweetie Belle is looking into one of the bedrooms, having abandoned the game as soon as she saw Diamond Tiara’s tantrum coming on.

‘If you’re going after one of the guys, we sure have a lot of winners here,’ Scootaloo laughs.

Apple Bloom groans again. ‘Tell me ‘bout it. Only one good one in the bunch.’

‘And he’s not here.’

‘Not him. He was playin’ the game.’

‘Featherweight?’ Scootaloo blushes. ‘But, I think he has a crush on me.’

Apple Bloom blushes too and sighs, ‘Not him either...’

The filly sighs and stares across the room. James and Twilight scold a dejected Diamond Tiara for ruining the game.

The pegasus turns to her friend. ‘You’re not turning into your sister now, are you?’

Apple Bloom’s blush deepens. ‘What do ya mean by that? Ah don’ know what yer talkin’ about.’ She snorts and trots across the room. ‘Hey, Jimmy. Can ya help me put on a movie?’

79 - Starlight Crusader

Hours later, the two foals are out exploring the forest as the sun is going down. They are having fun chasing each other through the trees. Apple Bloom rounds a large tree and skids to a stop at the edge of the crater where she found Starlight. The colt calmly trots up beside her.

‘I guess it is about time,’ Starlight sighs.

‘Does it have t’ be? Ya can stay longer.’

‘The longer I stay, the more likely somepony will discover me. I have to go.’

‘Dang. Ah was actually enjoyin’ having ya around.’

Starlight smiles. ‘You could have said that days ago.’

Apple Bloom blushes and kicks the ground a bit. Starlight slides down the crater. His horn starts glowing. Particles of energy materialize out of the air and flow into the colt. His body starts glowing.

‘I can use the residual energy to help with my spell.’

Apple Bloom slides down the crater and gives him a hug. ‘I’ll miss ya.’

‘I’m sorry that I have to leave. I was having a great time.’

‘Jus’ be safe, okay? … And learn some manners!’

Starlight laughs. ‘I’ll try. … Hey, before I go, I want to give you something. Something wonderful’

The filly blushes. ‘What?’

‘Close your eyes and find out.’

Apple Bloom close her eyes. Starlight leans forward and kisses her. The colt glows with magical energy and disappears. The filly stands there for a moment before opening her eyes.

‘Yer right. That was the most wonderful thing Ah’ve felt in mah life.’ She takes a deep breath. ‘And t’ be honest, the answer to all three of yer questions were “yes”.’ She looks into the night sky. ‘Ah love ya, Starlight.’

Apple Bloom takes a deep breath and stares at the stars. Slowly, a piece of paper wafts out of the sky and lands in front of her. She picks it up.

I love you, too. -SCS. PS: Will you marry me?

Apple Bloom smiles and holds the note close. She wipes her tears, smiles and stares into the sky again.

91 - RSI and the Mystery of Musical Expressionism - Deleted Scene

Sweetie Belle sits at her family’s kitchen table with her family. The filly looks up at her father with a large frown on her face. The stallion tries not to look at her directly.

‘Please? It is a really good school,’ Sweetie begs. ‘I’ll be able to learn how to be a better singer and get a high-quality education at the same time.’

‘I don’t know...’ her mother replies. ‘It is all the way in Canterlot...’

‘Canterlot is a wonderful city,’ Rarity argues. ‘All the really important ponies are from or live in Canterlot. Not to mention, I know the ponies running the school. They would be the most wonderful instructors.’

‘You can really vouch for them, Rarity?’

‘Of course.’ The younger mare nods. ‘It would kill y-, er, them if they couldn’t get such a talented singer as Sweetie Belle on their roster.’

‘PLEEEEEAAAAASE!’ Sweetie turns up to eleven. ‘It would be my destiny!’

‘But where will she stay? Who will take care of her?’ her mother argues. ‘She hasn’t even started middle school yet.’

‘That is perfect,’ Rarity counters. ‘That just happens to be the first grades they offer.’

‘What about my other concern?’

‘Well, I really want to relocate to Canterlot at some point. I would just need a reason to do so.’

Sweetie redirects her frown to her sister, allowing her father a chance to breathe. ‘Being with your sister during the most important time of her life is not a good reason.’

Rarity averts her gaze. ‘Well, uh, I am sure you’d be able to take care of yourself until then.’

The filly moves her attention to somepony else. ‘What about you? Do you not want to be with me either?’

Stormy shrugs. ‘First, don’t word it like that. Second, I would love to go with you,’ -- he glares at Rarity -- ‘but somepony won’t let me leave town either.’

Sweetie frowns legitimately this time. ‘You’d probably want your own place so you could sleep with Trixie all the time.’

Sweetie’s parents snap their attention to the young stallion.

Stormy groans. ‘Oh, please. I told you about that a long time ago.’ He looks at Rarity again. ‘And yes, she would be the main reason I would want to live on my own.’

Rarity’s mother takes a deep breath. ‘Well, we have until fall to make a decision,’ -- she smiles at her daughters -- ‘but I am sure we will make the right one.’

‘YES!’ Sweetie cheers. ‘I get to go to the fancy school! I’m going to make a killing!’

The filly gallops to her room to celebrate.

‘Heh, heh,’ Rarity laughs. ‘She means that figuratively.’

‘What?’ her parents ask.

Stormy groans as he heads towards the door. ‘Couldn’t we just send her to Appleanta so she could bunk with Lemon? I know she’d love that.’

‘Which one?’ Rarity asks as she follows.

92 - Cutie Mark Changeling - Deleted Scene

Sweetie Belle sits in her bed at Carousel Boutique. Her friends are checking on her, but there are two Apple Blooms. Sweetie claps her hooves.

‘That’s great!’ the unicorn rasps. ‘Now, do Scootaloo!’

Del groans and changes from App-Del Bloom to Scoota-Del.

Sweetie laughs. ‘Now do me!’

Del changes into Sweetie Del. There is a knock on the door.

Rarity looks in. ‘What’s all the noise? You’re not overexerting yourself, are you?’

Sweetie gasps and points at her sister. ‘Now, do Rarity!’

Del sighs and changes into a smaller version of Rarity. The mare gasps in horror and levitates the filly from the bed.

‘Del! You know better that to reveal yourself so carelessly.’ She marches from the room carrying Del-ity. ‘As punishment (though you should consider it a reward), you will help me with some new dress designs I am working on. I hope you can transform into more shapes than just your friends.’

The disguised changeling moans as she floats away.

96 - Lost Love - Deleted Scene

Apple Bloom lays in her bed, sleeping. Her borrowed book rests under her. A bright blue flash fills her room. A few seconds later, a smaller flash drops a pair of glasses on the arriving pony’s muzzle. Teenaged Starlight blinks as his eyes adjust to the light. Once he can see, the young stallion smiles at Apple Bloom sleeping before him. He uses his magic to pull up her covers as he leans down beside her.

‘I’m sorry that I cannot be with you just yet,’ the unicorn apologizes, ‘but there is still so much left for me to learn. I love you, Apple Bloom.’

The teenaged unicorn kisses the filly. Apple Bloom smiles after the kiss but does not wake up. Starlight charges a spell on his horn, glows then disappears in a flash.

[Etc?]

05 - Level Up

‘Ha! I win! The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie is the greatest pony in all of Equestria!’

Maxie start creating more fireworks and laughing in celebration. At her seat, Fluttershy calmly closes her game, gets up and gallops away crying. She passes by The Wandering Physicist who is doing his best impression of her Stare focused on Maxie. In the audience, the other shop owners murmur and look at The Wandering Physicist. The other Pokemon masters, Twilight, Selene, Spike and Derpy, watch their one friend leave then look over to see their other friend, silently seething. With a deliberate calmness, The Wandering Physicist gets up and walks over to the still-celebrating Maxie.

‘Very good on the win. You are the only one to make it that far and thus our new champion.’

‘The Awesome and Magnificent Maxie knew he would win. He will be a great and merciful champion to you all.’

‘Yes, yes... You did well, but I notice something amiss.’

‘Oh? And what is that? I followed all of the rules.’

‘I believe you are missing a badge.’ The Wandering Physicist shrugs. ‘I know it is not needed to get this far, but, you know, gotta catch ‘em all.’

‘What? Oh, you mean Gym Leader Hayate? I heard he was basically giving the badges away,’ Maxie scoffs. ‘I heard that nopony has even seen him. I don’t want to fight an opponent I cannot see.’

A small badge is tossed to the stage. Maxie looks from the badge up to The Wandering Physicist’s hoof, still extended from tossing the badge.

‘Really? I am the champion. You are the one everypony beat. You think you can take me?’

‘In my sleep, which, according to my friends, is apparently more aggressive than I normally play.’

‘Pfft. I don’t care. What is one more trinket to me?’

‘Then why don’t we make it interesting. One badge and bragging rights versus your title,’ Maxie scoffs again. ‘Unless you don’t think you can take the one trainer everypony else beat.’

‘Hmm.... Bring it on, as they say.’

21 - Crazy Cruise Crazy

‘I’m am going to get us some drinks! Want anything special?’ Pinkie offers.

The others shake their head and look for a table. They find an empty one and sit down. Soon, a figure approaches.

‘Excuse me, but that is my table,’ a demanding voice states.

‘Hate to burst your bubble, but we were here first.’ The Wandering Physicist turns while Fluttershy hides.

‘You!’ The Wandering Physicist and The Great and Powerful Trixie exclaim.

‘Great. If you are here, then Twilight is here too,’ Trixie moans. ‘Here to see my show?’ She adds hopefully.

‘We’re here for JoColt,’ The Wandering Physicist answers.

‘and Wheaton...’ Fluttershy squeaks.

‘Good. Then you will see me perform. Just make sure you keep your girlfriend from ruining my act this time.’

‘Why would I do that?’ Fluttershy squeaks to herself.

‘Why would I do that?’ Pinkie demands as she walks up with a plate of drinks on her head.

‘Oh ho!’ Trixie gloats. ‘The plot thickens.’

34 - Well, This Happened

Twilight stares at the stack of papers levitating before her. She has a massive eye twitch. Before her, The Wandering Author and Lyra are smiling their widest grins.

‘Did you like it?’ The Wandering Playwright asks.

Twilight levitates the story to Spike. ‘Spike. Take care of this.’

‘Will do!’ Spike salutes.

The baby dragon breathes a burst of flames and the story disappears in smoke.

‘So... Is that a yes?’ Lyra asks.

Twilight stares at Lyra in disbelief. She cannot believe they were both unicorns.

‘You wrote human fan fiction starring me and my friends,’ Twilight growls.

‘And I helped!’ The Wandering Screenwriter beams.

Twilight glares. ‘I hate you so much right now.’

Spike starts hiccuping then burps up a scroll.

‘A letter from Celestia? Now?’ Twilight is confused.

Spike unrolls the scroll. ‘Dear Twilight Sparkle. Thank you for the lovely story. I cannot wait to read it. I’ll be sure to share it with Luna too. Signed, Princess Celestia.’

‘You sent it to the princess!’

‘I thought that was what you wanted.’ Spike defends.

Twilight closes her eyes and tries to contain the anger growing inside her.

‘Do you think the princess will like it?’ Lyra asks.

Twilight bursts into flames and teleports away. The loudest yell of frustration is heard across all of Equestria. Twilight reappears. Her mane and tail is all singed. She seethes with anger. The two ponies and dragon stare at Twilight in shock.

‘One of you got room at your place?’ Spike asks.

‘Rei would love a roommate for a night or two,’ The Terrified Physicist replies.

The Galloping Physicist, Lyra and Spike all run from the library. Twilight takes a few more deep breaths before collapsing on the ground.

35 - Two and a Half Ponies

Pinkie paces in the alley behind The Power Block. There is a bright flash as Twilight teleports to the area. Twilight looks around and scowls.

‘I thought you would accomplish as much.’

‘Shut up!’ Pinkie snaps. ‘It looks like your magic was as effective as ever.’

‘If you were a little more responsible...’

‘If you were less of a prissy pants...’

‘If you stopped to think for once...’

‘If you could loosen up a bit...’

‘Hyperactive twit!’

‘Stuck-up bitch!’

Twilight gasps. She has never heard Pinkie use that sort of language before. The calm and rational Twilight is put off by that sort of behavior and would never respond in kind. Unfortunately, the fiery and irrational Twilight is steering this ship.

‘Guy-stealing whore!’

Pinkie is literally knocked backwards by the outburst. Pinkie knows that Twilight is very upset, and they need to calm the heated emotions. Maybe have some cupcakes and share a good laugh... Or they can fight it out!

Pinkie growls, puts her head down, and rams Twilight as hard as she can. Twilight picks herself up and fires a magical bolt that knocks Pinkie into a wall. The two mares butt their heads together.

‘Why do you have to be such an insufferable blockhead!’ Twilight shouts.

‘Me! You are the joyless fussy-britches here!’ Pinkie yells back.

‘In all of the time I have known you, you have been nothing but a pain in everypony’s side. You never listen to reason, and you always screw everything up with your careless attitude!’

‘Well, you have tried sucking the fun out of everything everypony has done! Everything has to be organized and scheduled and managed six-ways from Sunday in every direction except the right one with you. If I try to make you have fun, it is because you have a stick up your ass so big it makes the Yggdrasil look like a twig!’

‘Excuse me! I’m the stuck-up one!? I am only being responsible. Somepony has to clean up all of the messes you cause. While you are out running around and being a nutter, somepony has to make sure there is actually and Equestria left standing once you are done.’

‘And which one of us destroyed Ponyville with parasprites?’

‘That only happened one time!’

‘And who almost got us eaten by a hydra?’

‘It was because of your damn Pinkie Sense!’

‘And you were the one that activated it!’

‘At least I didn’t try selling out my friends to Discord for some chocolate milk rain!’

‘I never switched everypony’s cutie marks and changed everypony’s destiny!’

With emotions at their peak, the calm and rational Twilight Sparkle and friendly and caring Pinkie Pie would choose their words really carefully or else they could lose a friend forever.

‘I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!’ both of the mares shout.

Twilight and Pinkie start storming away in opposite directions.

38 - Mare Do Well Rises

The knight takes a step forward. Twilight takes two steps back. Suddenly, there is a commotion from the ranks. James pushes his way through the guards and trots straight to the bomb.

‘Sorry I’m late. The princess had me all tied up and things,’ James says as he studies the bomb. He looks up at Twilight. ‘I’d tell you, but you might blush a little.’

James.... Twilight seethes under her mask.

James gets out his sonic screwdriver and starts scanning the bomb. The captain of the guard stares at the interloper in shock.

‘Excuse me! You are interfering with a royal investigation. You will be arrested.’

‘Oh, keep you armor on...’ James turns back. His eyes go wide then he smirks. ‘Handsome.’

Twilight and the knight are stunned. James steps up to the knight and smiles.

‘I don’t normally say this, but you are the most handsome creature I have ever laid eyes on.’

JAMES! Twilight snaps into the radio.

James looks back at Twilight. ‘If the ratios were reversed, I’d want him as one of your seven.’

Twilight pulls her mask down. She uses her magic to pull James to her. ‘He is my brother!’

‘Twilight?!’ Shining Armor gasps.

‘So... He would be a maybe?’ James asks.

Twilight growls. ‘Just get back to the bomb.’

‘Ah! Right!’ James scans the bomb again. ‘Simple fission device. I haven’t seen one of these since grade school. Used to flush them down the toilets and blow out the pipes.’ He laughs. ‘Don’t try that at home, kids. Uh... This looks to be a gun-type construction.’ He puts his ear to one end. ‘Ah! Here is the, uh, core, shall we say. That means the other end is...’ He taps it and listens. ‘Yep. Just as I thought.’ He stands back and claps his front hooves together. ‘All right! First thing we need to do is...’ He hops over the bomb and takes Shining Armor’s sword. ‘Just need to borrow this for a moment, handsome.’ He swings the sword, and it slices into the middle of the bomb. He scans it again with the sonic. ‘Okay. That is that. The firing mechanism is completely deactivated. Now, to dispose of it.’ He turns around. ‘Pretty, which way to the nearest cliff?’

‘What?’ Shining Armor asks. ‘Why do you want to know?

Twilight levitates the bomb. ‘James, follow me.’

‘Oh right. You’re here, too.’

Twilight growls and starts leaving. The guards cut her off.

James sighs. ‘Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb.’

‘Shining! Let me through.’

‘I am sorry, Twilight. We don’t know what that is or what you two are doing here,’ Shining Armor responds. ‘For the safety of the palace, we can’t let you leave.’

James glares into Shining Armor’s eyes. ‘You might have the most beautiful eyes that I can stare into for days but know this, that bomb is still a threat. If it is not disposed of in a safe manner, this entire palace and a good deal of the city will be destroyed.’

Shining Armor backs off a step. He waves his guards back to give Twilight space to move.

‘Thank you. I promise to tell you all about this later,’ Twilight tells her brother. ‘Come along, James.’

Twilight gallops away with the bomb. James winks at Shining Armor and slips a card into the unicorn’s armor.

‘Call me.’

James gallops after Twilight. Shining Armor stares after them, the shock still setting in. He shakes his head and chases after the couple. James follows Twilight as she leads him through the palace.

‘So... your brother... Is he..?’

‘He’s married!’ Twilight snaps. ‘I was the best mare.’

‘Is there any room in there for one more?’

Twilight stops and glares at her coltfriend. ‘If you dare think about harassing my brother like that again, this bomb will be the least of your worries. Got it!’

James nods at the furious Twilight. Twilight gives one last growl before continuing her charge to the edge of the palace. Shining Armor is able to catch up to the couple, though he takes a step away from them after Jim winks. Twilight leads them to the edge of the palace that overlooks the cliff. She holds the bomb over the side.

‘Now what?’ Twilight asks.

‘Throw it as far as you can and prepare to watch some fireworks,’ James smiles.

‘I thought you said that it could destroy most of the city!’ Shining Armor cries.

‘That is why I am going to dispose of it by dropping it off the cliff,’ James replies. ‘The best way to get rid of fissile material in a hurry is to blow it up.’ He smirks. ‘Or melt it.’

‘Oh! I know what you are thinking.’

Twilight readies to launch the bomb as far as she can.

‘Wait. Twilight, are you sure about this?’ Shining Armor asks. ‘Do you trust him?’

Twilight looks at her brother then smiles at James. ‘I absolutely trust him.’

‘He’s not some kind of madpony?’

Twilight pauses for several seconds. ‘I absolutely trust him.’

Shining Armor sighs, and his magic joins Twilight’s in preparing to throw the bomb.

‘Excellent,’ James cheers. ‘Just need one last piece.’ He runs as far forward as he can and raises a hoof to the air. ‘PLASMA BUSTER!’

James turns back to the mages, and they launch the bomb as far as they can. There is a crash of lightning from above. A pair of swirling bands and plasma spiral from the sky and intercept the bomb in midair. The once-solid weapon is ripped apart on the molecular level as the plasma flows over it. A small blue and white streak breaks from the plasma after directing it away from the ground. Shining Armor stares in amazement about what he is witnessing. Twilight steps up to James and gives him a quick nuzzle before teleporting away. James steps back beside Shining Armor.

‘That vaporized most of the uranium in the bomb,’ James says. ‘I never really measured the temperature of her plasma, but it should have done the job. Just to be safe, have your scientists run some geiger counters through the area. It shouldn’t be that big of a mess to clean up if anything.’

Shining Armor mumbles sounds that barely classify as syllables in response. James checks the time on his mobile.

‘Oh. I better be going.’ He looks around. ‘Well, since there is no other Sparkle around.’ He leans up a bit and kisses Shining Armor on the cheek. ‘Don’t be a stranger.’

Shining Armor stares at the slowly dissipating plasma for a few more moments before looking around. He is the only pony in the area. Princess Celestia calmly trots up next to her captain of the guard.

‘Shining Armor, looks like you had a bit of a day,’ Celestia comments. ‘I think you should take some time off and see the wife, hmm?’

Shining Armor nods and trots away. Celestia giggles to herself about the broken stallion’s reaction.

58 - RSI and Mystery of FLCL

The next day. Lucas moans and holds his head as he trots through a hotel. The local doctor cleared him and gave some pain medicine, but he is still woozy from casting such a powerful spell. The rail company arranged rooms for passengers who did not have one, so Lucas is constantly greeted as a hero as he tries to make his way to get some rest. He finally reaches his room and unlocks the door when he is tapped on the shoulder. He turns to see the yellow mare.

‘Thanks for saving me.’

‘No problem. What were you doing on the train to begin with?’

The mare blushes and holds up a charm with a picture of Full Moon on it. ‘I practically worship her. I couldn’t part with it.’

Lucas laughs. ‘I understand. I think she is great, too.’

‘So... I wanted to thank you for being so brave...’

‘I think you already did.’

‘No. I mean thank you.’

The mare leans in and kisses Lucas. After a moment, she breaks the kiss, leaving the young stallion more than surprised. She steps into the room, running her tail across Lucas’ nose as she passes. She looks back and winks. Lucas gives a hopeful whimper and scurries into the room.

67 - Get Well Soon - Deleted Scene

Redheart sneaks back into The Power Block after her date. She wants to get some stuff from her room before returning home. Fortunately, Rei’s party has ended so she can get in undetected. As she crosses the living room, she thinks to check on her patients one more time. Redheart sneaks to Rei’s door and looks in.

Inkie lays on Rei’s bed with her fillyfriend laying in her lap. Rei flinches a little while Inkie rubs her friend’s back.

‘Sorry I wasn’t around much while you were recovering,’ Inkie apologizes. ‘The Flower Trio had me testing new soil combinations they wanted to try.’

Rei nuzzles against Inkie’s stomach. ‘You made it when you could. That is enough for me.’ She lets out a small yelp. ‘Please be more gentle.’

‘I’m sorry! I thought I was barely touching you.’

‘It... it is just that my insides are still very sore.’

‘I’m sorry. You were crushed pretty badly. I thought you were better since you’re out of your bandages.’

‘I’m mostly better, but I’m still very sore... constantly.’

Inkie gasps. ‘I should be letting you rest.’

‘No, I want my Inkie.’ Rei sighs. ‘It is fine as long as you are gentle. I asked if all of my insides were okay. Redheart-sensei said I was all fine, even if I was still sore.’ She takes Inkie’s hoof and places it on her lower stomach. ‘She even said Rei-chan could still be a mommy if she wanted to.’

Inkie turns bright red. ‘I-I-I know you would be a great mommy, Rei, but you need your rest.’ Rei looks up at her fillyfriend and frowns. Inkie smiles. ‘And I’ll stay with you until I have to leave in the morning.’

Rei coos and cuddles up as gently as she dares.

Redheart smiles from the doorway and goes to check on Del. Unfortunately, she is not in her room. Her dinner is abandoned, but it is mostly finished. The nurse looks around the home and notices the washroom door slightly open. She looks in.

James sits in the tub. He washes Del’s hair while the changeling moans. ‘See Del, having a bath isn’t that bad.’

Del moans, ‘It is when a big meanie tries to shave your head.’

James laughs. ‘She was just trimming your mane and tail so you wouldn’t make a mess of yourself. Speaking of which, are you feeling better?’

‘A little. Del’s tummy still hurts.’

‘You’ll be fine soon. Then, you’ll get to go back to school and see all your friends.’

Del frowns. ‘And the mean pink one...’

‘Diamond is only that way because she is insecure about having new friends... or friends at all... or interacting with other ponies in general. Just be nice to her and she’ll be nice to you.’

Del kicks the water. ‘It doesn’t work like that in the real world.’

James hugs Del. ‘Yeah. I know. I was just saying that to make you feel better.’

‘You tried, daddy.’

‘Try harder,’ Redheart snaps from the doorway.

‘We’re in the bath!’ James shouts back.

‘I’m a nurse!’ Redheart stomps to the tub. She pets Del’s mane. ‘It is okay if you don’t get along with everypony. Just treat everypony how you want to be treated and ignore those who don’t treat you the same.’

Del stares at Redheart then turns to James. ‘She’s silly.’

Redheart groans and trots away. ‘I’m going to do to you what you did to me!’

‘What do you mean?’ James asks.

‘I’m going to the library and getting Twilight. She’ll talk sense into you and raise Del properly. You need a good, stable wife like her!’

Redheart closes the washroom door and leaves the house. Del rubs against James.

‘Sparkly Twilight would be a good mommy.’

James laughs and goes back to washing Del’s hair.

74 - RSI and the Mystery of Parenting - Deleted Scene

‘Faster! Faster!’ Silver Spoon cheers as she holds Rei’s neck as tight as she can.

The small pegasus and her slightly smaller passenger shoot across the sky over Ponyville. Several ponies watch as they fly past. Sunshine Drops and Twist see them pass on their way back to the apartment.

Sunshine Drops giggles. ‘Twist, have you ever wanted to go flying?’

‘It thoundth fun...’ the filly hems.

‘Come on.’ The young mare crouches. ‘We can start slow.’

Twist takes a deep breath and climbs on the pegasus’ back. Sunshine Drops takes off. She starts flying away when Image gallops up the street.

‘Wait!’ the artist shouts. He stops and pants. ‘I want to get some pictures to remember your first flight.’

Twist blushes. Sunshine Drops giggles. The pegasus flies around with her young passenger while Image takes countless pictures.

Rei and Silver blast past Carousel Boutique. Scootaloo looks out a window and moans. She is spending the afternoon with Stormy. The two of them were roped in by Rarity to help with some dress designs.

‘How come you never take me flying?’ the filly complains.

‘If I had wings, do you think we would have been caught this easy?’ Stomy counters.

Rarity ties more ribbons on her volunteers’ dresses. ‘Less talking, more posing.’

The two ‘volunteers’ groan and hold still for Rarity.

Rei and Silver shoot past the library. They loop around Rainbow Dash’s cloud home. They fly towards the edge of town when Rei suddenly comes to a stop and lands. Silver jumps down and looks around while fixing her mane. They are outside Fluttershy’s cottage. Rei heads right inside. Silver raises her goggles and follows. She can vaguely smell something cooking.

‘Why are we here?’ the filly asks.

‘Mommy makes the best cookies, and Rei is hungry.’

Silver rolls her eyes and follows Rei into the kitchen. Fluttershy calmly removes a tray from the oven. She turns around, right into Rei’s face. The older pegasus screams in fright and tries hiding.

‘Rei! How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me like that!’

‘I never snuck up on you exactly like this time.’

Fluttershy growls. ‘You and your father...’

Rei takes some cookies and gives one to Silver.

‘What are you doing, young lady?’

‘Cookie?’ Rei replies eating.

‘That’s not the way I raised you, young lady. You are supposed to ask first.’

Rei frowns. ‘Sorry, mommy.’

Fluttershy snorts. She looks over at Silver and smiles. ‘Hello, Silver. Good to finally see you. Rei has been telling me all about the fun you two have been having.’

‘Th-thank you, Ms Fluttershy.’

The older pegasus puts a kettle on the stove. ‘Let me put on some tea, and we can chat a bit.’ She leads the others out and giggles. ‘I knew if I baked some cookies Rei would finally bring you here.’

The others laugh and join Fluttershy in the living room.

80 - The Nomadic Programmer Quests

Twilight groans and shakes her head as she finishes reading the story in front of her. Lyra’s oversized grin tells of her enthusiasm.

‘You really think this will work?’ Twilight asks.

‘Well...’ the unicorn hems. ‘You kept complaining that everypony would recognize you if I kept using your names, so I changed things up a little!’

Twilight shakes her head. ‘Nopony will fall for this stupid ploy, especially not any of my friends.’

There is a knock on the window before Rainbow Dash flies in with a stack of papers in hoof.

‘Hey, Lyra,’ Rainbow greets. ‘I thought I would find you here. Great story!’

Lyra’s grin only grows. Twilight facehoofs.

‘Rainbow...’ the unicorn groans, ‘didn’t you notice something off about it?’

Rainbow flips through the story again. ‘I liked the new characters...’ She looks at Lyra. ‘Can you use this “Blitz” guy again? I’d love to have a story where I hook up with him. He sounds totally hot.’

Twilight slams her head against the nearest bookshelf, causing an avalanche. ‘That was you! Lyra just changed the genders!’

‘Oh...’ Rainbow frowns. ‘Dang...’

Twilight shudders. ‘You really wanted to hook up with Blitz, didn’t you?’

‘No... Not really...’ She chokes back a tear.

‘Told you nopony would notice,’ Lyra gloats.

‘That doesn’t prove anything! We need a second opinion.’

‘Sup!’ James declares as he enters the library.

‘What are you doing here?’ Lyra asks.

‘I have no idea,’ the stallion replies. ‘I just had the feeling I should be here, so now I am.’

‘Perfect timing!’ Twilight laughs. She levitates a copy of the story to her coltfriend. ‘Lyra was just reviewing her new story.’

James briefly glances at the first page. ‘Why am I a mare?’

Twilight laughs smugly and sticks her tongue at the unicorn.

Lyra snorts and takes the story back. ‘It is still in beta.’

The green unicorn grumbles as she storms out of the library.

James shrugs and turns to his fillyfriend. ‘Hey, want a ponyback ride around town?’

85 - Customer Appreciation - Deleted Scene

Despite the opposite intentions, the Neighponese Imports party has broken out the sake again. The four pegasi lay around Daring’s apartment, finishing the snacks. Scootaloo makes a face when she sips the sake offered her.

Daring finishes her cup. ‘Ya know, Flitter. I’ve been meaning t’ ask about you and whatsherface.’

‘Rainshine,’ the other mare replies.

‘Yeah. What’s your deal with her?’

Flitter sighs, sips her drink, pours another and gulps it down. ‘Long story short, she stole my coltfriend.’

‘That can’t be it.’

Flitter takes another drink. ‘He worked in a different section of the weather factory than me. A manager of one of the weather districts. We were pretty serious for a long time. Then one day, we get to work and she’s riding him on his desk.’

Flitter gets another drink. Scootaloo stares at the mare, her wings sticking up. Rei grumbles and eats some snacks.

Daring gets a snack. ‘We all know Rei’s beef with the other team.’

Rei growls, ‘Midnight will pay for hurting Silver-chan.’

‘What about you, squirt?’ Daring asks Scootaloo. ‘You got a rival in the contest?’

‘Well, uh,’ the filly hems.

‘Tori-chan is dating Diamond-chan!’ Rei states.

‘Don’t tell them!’ Scootaloo shouts.

‘Aw! That’s sweet,’ Flitter coos. ‘Young love is the best.’

‘Shut up!’ the embarrassed filly yells.

‘They are probably further along than Rei and Inkie are,’ Rei giggles.

Scootaloo tries hiding and lets out a loud squeak.

Daring laughs at the filly. She sighs and sips her drink. ‘How can such a cute kid have such a jerkish dad?’ she muses.

‘Mr Rich isn’t that bad,’ Scootaloo defends. ‘He lets us stay up as late as we want, and we always get to order pizza, and he gets Diamond the best games, and...’

‘It’s okay, squirt. Just a bit of griping.’

Flitter checks her mobile and gasps when she sees the time. ‘It’s getting late. I should go home if I want to be rested for tomorrow.’

‘That’s probably a good idea,’ Daring agrees.

Everypony gets up and stretches. Rei helps Daring clean up.

Flitter puts a wing around Scootaloo. ‘Come on. I’ll get you home.’

The two pegasi wave their goodbyes and leave together.

89 - Everything Changes Its Tune - Deleted Scene

Shining Armor returns to the locker room at the end of the day. The past few days have been really busy, and he wants to take a moment to relax. Having returned his armor, he heads to the shower to wash off. The prince finds an empty shower and turns on the water. He breathes a sigh of relief as his troubles wash away. He hears another shower start beside him. Shining turns to see a dark blue stallion standing next to him.

‘Hello,’ Jack greets with a grin.

Shining backs away, right into another pony. He turns and pales.

‘Hello,’ James greets with a grin.

Shining looks at the two ponies surrounding him. ‘Meep.’

94 - A Rocky Road - Deleted Scene

Inkie has a number of her friends at her apartment for games. They all sit around the table looking at the cards before them.

Inkie sighs and leans back. ‘So, you all heard Image is dating my little sister?’ The other grunt in acknowledgement. ‘Okay. Knowing he is going to totally blow it with her, how long do you think it will last?’

Rei thinks as she plays a card. ‘I give them until after the wedding. He’ll be too focused on making his gift to screw up his relationship.’

‘Ugh,’ Sunshine Drops grunts, sliding a card forward. ‘He’ll be lucky if he makes it that long. I give him a week.’

Stormy carefully considers his play before levitating a card to the stack. ‘I don’t know how, but I think he is going to lose a limb or something equally painful.’

‘Stormy is so smart,’ Jade Emerald coos.

The young stallion groans at the unwanted affection. The other unicorn giggles and plays a card.

Inkie sighs as she shuffles the cards. ‘I hope my sister isn’t that upset with him.’ She sets down the cards. ‘Okay.’ She lifts a black card. ‘ “What do old ponies smell like?” ’

99 - Chapter 99

James and Twilight sit next to Discord. In front of them clips of their lives are playing. The two ponies have shocked and confused expressions. Discord smiles happily.

‘Well, what do you think?’ the Lord of Chaos asks.

‘Um... It’s a thing,’ James replies.

‘Thank you?’ Twilight adds.

Discord hugs the couple. ‘I am so glad you liked it. It took forever putting together all of these clips for you two.’

‘It’s, uh, very...’ James looks for the right words. ‘Thank you?’

‘What are friends for?’ Discord laughs, hugging the ponies tight.

The couple groans and hugs Discord back.

100 - Goodbye, Mr Wanderer

James and Twilight exchange their first kiss as husband and wife.

Author's Note

Yep. The penultimate chapter is a clip show. A clip show.

Has any other written story ever done a clip show? I don't think so. Know that every other clip show in a story after this one is ripping off this chapter. Even if others do it again, there is no way they can top the chapter being #99 of 100 in their series.

Fun Fact: Blame Celestia for this chapter. I was brainstorming potential penultimate chapter ideas while reading old chapters. I got to the scene where TWP boops her and she punches him. I loved that scene so much that I wanted to gush about it. Then I got the idea for a clip show. Thanks, Celestia.

Reader Event:
These are all some of my favorite scenes from the series. Yes, I have many, many more, but only one per chapter were shared. Feel free to share your favorite scenes or question my choices. Each were picked for a reason.

A New Challenger Appears

Main Characters: The Wandering Physicist (TWP)
Cameos: Fluttershy
Original Write Date: September 24, 2011 (The day I got excited and made something)

He arrives in Ponyville pulling a small cart of belongings, enjoying the cool summer afternoon.

Like the (in)famous Doctor Whooves, he is a Time Lord. Unlike The Doctor, he did not see the need to travel through time and space after he arrived in Equestria and had his first encounter with the Neightendo Entertainment System. From that point on, he was a little distracted. Just a little. Before the age when most future Time Lords are exposed to The Untempered Schism as part of earning their cutie mark, he had already earned his Cutie Mark thanks to a marathon session of Super Mare-io World. Since the mark is shaped like is 16-bit power block, other ponies say that he is meant to be a great programmer or game designer. He knows otherwise. He knows what he was truly meant to do. And it involves a controller in his hooves. While the rest of his people fought and died in The Last Great Time War, he was camping in line for a Neightendo Wii. Twice. He is that dedicated to his craft.

He wanders from place to place, seeing all of the sights, playing all of the games. Now, he is in Ponyville to start a new chapter in his life. The only things he has with him is his collection of games, systems, and all of his collectables. No wardrobe. (He is a pony, what does he need more than one set of clothes for?) No furniture. (He does have his electronics, but he does not need anything to put them on.) And no money. (Hello! Time Lord!) He is looking for something. He does not know what, but he has wandered here for a reason.

He finds a safe place to park his cart until he could find a place to stay and starts looking around town. He is not used to cities and towns in Equestria Proper, having spent a lot of time traveling Neighpon. Canterlot, Manehatton and Fillydelphia are all too busy; Southern Coltifornia, with its chief city of Los Arion, is too awesome for him; and Sacramaneto is a hole in the purest definition of the word. Other towns are the right level of ‘small’, but they are not ‘busy’ enough. Ponyville seems to have the right small town feel with plenty going on. There is a fashion boutique, a library inside of a tree, a large apple orchard, a thriving bakery, a bustling marketplace full of interesting vendors, including a store specializing in just quills and sofas, a vast forest, and an exceptionally friendly mailpony in need of corrective laser surgery.

And then it catches his eye. He knows what he was looking for.

A yellow pegasus with long pink hair is walking a family of ducks through a the corner of town. She is passing by a shop when he noticed her. He charges full steam right at her. She lets out a small ‘meep’ and tries to hide. He aptly dodges the cowering mare and presses his face up against the store’s display window. Once she realizes she is in no danger, the pegesus lets out a big sigh and continues on her path. The stallion drools a little over the display.

‘Mother 2....’ The stallion says to nopony in particular, staring at a video game with its console. ‘The greatest game ever made. Released outside of Neighpon as Equestriabound. Took me too long to get a readable copy of the sequel, but it is soooo worth it. I must have that game!’

The ponies watching the stallion back away a few extra steps, and the yellow pegasus, again frightened, disappears.

The stallion takes no notice of all of this and enters the shop. The shop is filled with all sorts of gaming history, from old Neightendo systems to modern Playstation. The odd stallion takes it all in as he approaches the shopkeeper.

‘May I help you?’

‘Mother 2. How much?’

‘Sir?’

‘Mother 2?’ He receives a confused stare in return. ‘Equestriabound, if you use the translated title.’

‘Oh. The display. That is not for sell.’ The unusual pony glared at the shopkeeper. ‘Uh... I know it is not a rare game... but it is a part of the store. I can’t easily part with it.’

‘A part of the store, eh?’ The odd stallion thinks for a moment. ‘I’ll be right back.’

The strange pony runs from the store, across the street to the nearby bank. After making sure nopony is looking, the stallion turns to an ATM. An odd buzz is heard. The stallion turns back around, holding a large number of bits. He quickly returns to the game store before anypony can observe him carefully. He drops all of the bits on the counter unceremoniously. ‘I’ll take it!’

The shopkeeper stares at the pile of bits in shock. ‘Take what?’

‘The store. You said the game was a part of it, so I’ll take the whole to get the part.’

‘But... but... wha... huh!?’

‘Is that too much or not enough? I can never tell. This whole “money” thing is still a little odd to me.’

The shopkeeper stares at the stallion, agape. After doing some quick math, the clerk realizes how much money the peculiar pony gave him. He quickly pushes all of the bits into a very large bag. The clerk gets out a piece of paper and quickly writes out a makeshift contract.

‘No! That is plenty. Absolutely plenty.’ I can buy a palace to rival Celestia’s with this much! ‘Um... Here. Sign this and the store is yours.’

The strange stallion places his hoofprint on the contract. The shopkeeper grins and rolls it up.

‘I’ll take care of this on my way out of town’ and to a well-earned, permanent vacation. ‘I hope you don’t mind starting work right away.’

The shop’s new owner has already hooked a Super Neightendo up to a television and places Equestriabound into the slot. ‘Oh. I am set.’

‘I can see that.. Anyway! I will be on my way.’ The shopkeeper puts on a hat and starts heading out of the door, then he stops. ‘Oh! I forgot to ask, but since I know the authorities will, what is your name.’

The mysterious stallion looks over his shoulder and smirks. ‘They call me, The Wandering Physicist.’

Author's Note

TWP's Timeline: His first appearance in Ponyville. Fluttershy is the first main character he encounters.

The Royal Treatment

Main Characters: TWP, Luna/Selene, Twilight
Cameos: None
Original Write Date 10/02/2011

A mysterious pony is flying over Equestria. It is a routine the pony tends to do every so often, visiting all of the different lands of Equestria. This night, it is traveling to Ponyville, something it has not done in a long time. Something is different this trip. The visitor is used to seeing one light on in Ponyville at this time of night. The lone light of the solitary night owl (no pun intended) studying away in her library home. This night, a second building is lit up. The pony is confused.

The traveling pony lands on a roof between the two buildings. It listens with its amazing hearing. Both the library and the strange building have similar music playing. It is an odd music. While it sounds like it was very electronic, something like what kids call chiptone these days, the music is well-orchestrated and has many layers. The pony starts really enjoying the music until it is broken by a loud expletive.

Following the expletives and knowing they are not coming from the occupant of the library, the traveler arrives at an odd shop. The second floor lights are on and the enjoyable music and vile swearing are both coming from the same source. The pony flies up to the window and secretly peeks in. A brownish pony with a black mane and wearing black-rimmed glasses is playing what looks to be an old video game featuring a pony in green swinging a sword. He is wearing a headset and appears to be talking to someone on the other end in between unreasonably loud swearing every time his avatar takes a hit. A glance around the room shows that it is full of gaming paraphernalia and items imported from Neighpon. This intrigues the mysterious pony more.

The traveler once more takes to the sky and starts flying toward Canterlot. It had a plan in mind, and Princess Luna was ready to get to the bottom of finding out who that odd, new pony was.

The next morning, Luna has returned to Ponyville. Instead of sneaking through the down at night, she enters the town the same way any visiting pony would, by walking down the street. Normally, a princess walking down the street in broad daylight would be met with countless stares, endless whispers and rows upon rows of bowing. But Luna came prepared. She is wearing a gift from another odd pony who frequents Ponyville. The gift is a perception filter, a device that causes anypony looking at the wearer to see an illusion that the wearer wishes. Luna had two such devices, one disguised as a pair of glasses and another disguised as a necklace. She wore both in order to fully mask her presence from even the most clever and observant ponies unless they were trying especially hard to see her. Luna chose to enter town as a pegasus with similar features and colors as her normal midnight blue alicorn self. It is the perfect disguise for a princess who wants to be in the middle of all of the action without any wise viewer knowing about it. She can even attend the Grand Galloping Gala without even her sister or The Elements of Harmony knowing.

Luna makes her way towards the shop she found last night. It is located in a very interesting section of town. Mayor Mare once referred to it ‘the nerd district’. Luna did not know if it was meant as an insult, but she took it as a compliment, knowing that those commonly called ‘nerds’ and ‘geeks’ were more responsible for the advancement of pony technology and culture in her thousand-year absence than all other groups combined. Luna easily finds the shop in question once more and is not surprised that is a video game shop. She also notes the nearby indie music shop for a future visit. Given the hour of her late night ops the previous night, Luna checks to make sure the shop was open. Indeed it is. Adjusting her perception filters, Luna enters the shop.

The shop is full of video games of all sorts. Luna gets a little excited to see some rarer titles she heard about. She also notices an entire section of consoles that look like they were made during her banishment. The odd pony she observed last night is at the counter playing a different game than before and fortunately not swearing this time.

‘Excuse me, shopkeep,’ Luna starts.

The Wandering Physicist glances over towards Luna out of the corner of his eye, not even looking through his glasses. ‘Hey, Princess Luna.’

The Wandering Physicist and Luna immediately freeze. There is nopony else in the store to hear what was said. Luna is immediately terrified that her disguise has failed and that all of Ponyville knows of her presence. The prospect of Twilight Sparkle knowing, thus freaking out, as the kids these days say, and telling Celestia is not something Luna wants. The Wandering Physicist is simply shocked that such an important pony was in his shop.

Luna turns bright red in embarrassment. ‘Princess Luna? That is a nice compliment, but I am just a pegasus named Selene.’

‘You do know that once a perception filter is broken, the observer can see through your disguise.’

Luna’s eyes dart. ‘I knew that.’

‘So, uh, Miss Selene, how may I help you?’

‘To be perfectly honest, I am here for you.’

‘Whatever Applejack said is a lie! I am innocent! Rarity and Twilight will vouch for me.’

Luna is taken aback. ‘I haven’t seen Applejack recently... What are you talking about?’

The Wandering Physicist’s eyes dart now. ‘Nothing.’

‘Hm. Anyway, I had heard about this shop and its interesting owner, and I felt that I must investigate.’

‘Is Miss Selene going to report me to Princess Luna as Miss Sparkle did to Princess Celestia?’

‘She really tells her everything...’ Luna grumbles. ‘Just observing you is fine for me, mister...’

‘They call me The Wandering Physicist, I...’ he starts.

‘Why?’ Luna asks.

The Wandering Physicist is a little dumbstruck that he is unable to finish his line. After a second, he just snorts. ‘ Because I haven’t come up with a short nickname yet. Happy?’

‘Oh! Sorry. Did I ruin a line of yours?’ Luna blushes. ‘It has been some time since a handsome stallion paid me any attention.’

The Wandering Physicist blushes bright red and looks away. ‘Um, well, then you should be okay with a normal stallion like me giving you attention.’

The pair laugh at the weak joke. They stand there for a moment like a pair of foals not knowing what to say. Suddenly, The Wandering Physicist’s stomach growls.

‘Heh, heh. Sorry about that. I just got up and I haven’t eaten yet.’

‘But it is almost noon.’

‘That early?’

Luna does not know if The Wandering Physicist making a joke and is a little surprised.

‘Well, uh, as my intent was to get to know you, how about I treat you to lunch?’ Luna offers.

‘Sounds good. Where?’

‘Wherever you would like.’

The Wandering Physicist smirks. ‘Anywhere?’

Luna narrows her eyes. ‘Why? What do you have in mind?’

The Wandering Physicist laughs a bit. ‘To answer your questions with questions: can you teleport and how far?’

Southern Coltifornia. The Wandering Physicist and Luna/Selene are in line at a fast food restaurant. Selene is glaring at the menu.

‘A garden burger place? Really? We travelled all of those kilometers for a garden burger place?’

‘Trust me. In-n-Out makes the best garden burgers. Ever. Of all time. I would know.’

‘Really? I have the greatest pony chefs in the world at the castle, and you say they will be outclassed by common fast food?’

‘Best thing you will eat in a thousand years. Trust me. I’m a physicist. I know everything.’ The Wandering Physicist says adjusting an imaginary collar.

Selene considers sending The Wandering Physicist to the moon for the cheap shot, but it is their turn to order.

‘Yeah... I’ll take a Double-Double combo.’ The Wandering Physicist says right away.

‘Okay. And for you ma’am?’

‘Uh... I’ve never eaten here before...’ Luna smirks as she thinks she has come up with a plan to show this pony who is boss. ‘I’ll have what he’s having.’

The Wandering Physicist picks up on the challenge. ‘In that case...’ He turns to the cashier. ‘Animal-style.’

‘Is... that okay ma’am?’

‘Sure.’

‘Neapolitan shake too.’

‘Uh...’

‘Bring it!’

The cashier rings up the order. Luna pays, and the pair find a place to sit. The Wandering Physicist spins in his chair a bit as he waits for the food.

‘You are truly the most interesting pony I have met.’

‘And I don’t even drink hard cider.’

Selene raises an eyebrow at the comment. The Wandering Physicist laughs to himself. Their number is called and the stallion gets the meal. The pegasus eyes it suspiciously. The Wandering Physicist is already drinking his shake.

‘This better be as good as you claim it is.’

Selene leans in and starts taking a bite...

Back at The Power Block, The Wandering Physicist looks up preorders for a customer. Selene is laying behind the counter moaning. The customer gets his information and leaves.

‘I told you not to go back for thirds.’

‘But it was sooooooo good. We are so getting one of those in Canterlot.’

‘Told you that you would like it.’

Selene moans and stands. ‘So, uh...’ She begins. ‘Would you mind an extra set of hooves around the shop today? I can prove to be quite handy with an abacus.’

‘Commaredore 64s are over there.’ The Wandering Physicist replies, instinctively. Selene just stares back. ‘Oh. Sorry. Default reaction when someone mentions old tech. Well, that or bust out my Chromebook.’

‘You really are an interesting one.’

Selene, takes a place by the counter to make her observations. Unlike when Twilight Sparkle visited the store, it is a relatively slow day. Perhaps because of that, The Wandering Physicist sets up an Atari 2600 on the main display, and an impromptu tournament of the available popular and two-player games is born, punctuated by The Wandering Physicist demonstrating Adventure, Pitfall, and even ET. The crowd gets engrossed enough with the tournament and demonstrations that they fail to notice Selene slipping out to raise the moon around dusk. After night settles in, the small crowd leaves and The Wandering Physicist begins cleaning.

‘That was quite a fun day.’ The Wandering Physicist says as he shuts down the system.

‘Very interesting indeed.’

‘Hey, since you treated me earlier, how about I take you out to dinner?’

‘That would be nice. Just give me a moment to freshen up.’

‘No prob. It is right in back there.’

Selene enters a door but fails to see the marking on it. She lets out a loud scream as she darts out of the 18+ section. She is bright red. The Wandering Physicist notices and starts laughing.

‘I would have thought by your age you would be used to seeing stuff like that by now.’

‘Ha. Ha.’ Selene growls a bit as she finds the right door to go through.

The Wandering Physicist goes back to picking up the display. Glancing outside, he sees a familiar face approaching. Twilight Sparkle nears the shop. The Wandering Physicist waves and opens the door for her.

‘Twilight Sparkle, what brings your here?’

‘I just stopped by to... Holy crow! Is that game what I think it is?’ She asks, noticing the ET cartridge in the Atari. ‘I thought that Celestia collected all of them and had them buried in the deserts past buffalo territory.’

‘That is just an old mares tale.’

‘So was Nightmare Moon and Sonic Rainbooms, but I saw both.’

‘Anyway, you were saying?’

‘Right. I wanted to cash in our little bet.’

The Wandering Physicist groans. ‘You got lucky. Aquamentus used hacks in that first battle.’

‘You’re just jealous that I learned second quest better than you did.’ Twilight rubs her ears a bit. ‘I also learned to turn Skype down when you are losing.’

‘What? I was a total gentleman. That is total bulls...’

Twilight shoves a hoof in The Wandering Physicist’s mouth and shakes her head.

‘Oh. Who have we here?’ Selene says from across the room, glaring slightly at Twilight.

The Wandering Physicist looks from Luna to Twilight. He knows a potentially dangerous situation when he sees one. ‘Selene, this is Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle, Selene.’

Twilight takes a moment to analyze Selene. Fortunately for Luna, the other alicorn cannot see through her disguise. ‘It is a pleasure, Miss Selene.’

Luna is well-acquainted with Twilight Sparkle from their past adventures, beginning with Luna’s return as Nightmare Moon. ‘Likewise, Princess Sparkle.’ Selene trot over to The Wandering Physicist. ‘I hate to be rude, but we had plans.’

Twilight steps back for a moment, embarrassed, but she decides to stand her ground. ‘Actually, the reason I came here is because Mr Wanderer owes me a dinner for losing a bet.’

‘Mr Wanderer?’

Twilight gets a little defensive. ‘What? It is shorter than his full name, and it still has a hint of mystery to it.’

The Wandering Physicist blushes. ‘You like a little mystery?’

Twilight blushes too. ‘I love a good mystery. I could spend a lot of time with one.’

Selene growls at the pair. ‘If you don’t mind me intruding, our mutual friend also owes me dinner tonight as well.’

Twilight glares back. ‘I am sorry to disappoint, but he owed me for longer.’

‘Age before beauty then, Princess Sparkle,’ Selene sneers.

Twilight growls at Selene and her mane starts getting a hint of red. The taller pony stands over the shorter one smugly. Behind the perception filter, The Wandering Physicist can see Luna charging a spell on her horn. The Wandering Physicist’s potentially dangerous situation is now a full-on thermonuclear war. Time Lord may be the masters of all of time and space, but they still have no clue how to handle the subject of women.

‘How about this!’ The Wandering Physicist quickly interjects. ‘Since I both owe you dinner, I treat you both tonight? It may not be as private as we would like, but it would give us all plenty of time to clear the air and enjoy each others company.’

Twilight’s mane returns to its normal color. ‘I can agree to that.’

Luna stands down under her disguise. ‘As can I.’

The Wandering Physicist lets out a sigh of relief, but he knows the trouble is far from over.

Dinner goes as smooth as one would expect. Selene and Twilight keep trying to one-up each other for The Wandering Physicist’s attention. Knowing that no matter what action he takes would lead to his death, the stallion went with the middle road option and tried to balance his favor. This would either lead to a quick death or allow him to live long enough to escape for a short while. Somehow, the two mares are satisfied enough not kill The Wandering Physicist yet, but they still seem ready to go at it at the drop of a hat. Fortunately, The Hat-less Physicist does not wear hats. Unfortunately, his companions do not seem to care.

Outside of the restaurant after dinner, the three ponies are milling about. The two mares are on either side of The Wandering Physicist.

‘So...’ The Nervous Physicist starts.

‘So, Miss Selene, it is getting late. You probably want to start heading off before you get too tired.’

‘Actually, Princess Sparkle, I am good to go all night if I have to.’ Selene winks towards The Wandering Physicist. ‘All night.’

The Wandering Physicist takes a step back from Selene and right into Twilight. The intense glare he receives causes him to duck a little to try and hide. Twilight sighs then softens a little.

‘Want to come over to my place and play some games? I am not too far from here and it would be a nice way to share a mutual interest.’ Twilight suggests.

‘Hmm. If we are going to do that, we should go back to The Wandering Physicist’s place.’ Selene counters.

‘Why is that?’

‘Well, he naturally has more selection, thus it would have more multiplayer games. You seem more like a single player person.’

Twilight gets into Luna’s face. ‘What do you mean by that? Are you saying I don’t have any multiplayer experience?’

Luna smirks. ‘If the horseshoe fits.’

‘At least I won’t play multiplayer with just anypony that walks past.’

‘What did you say!’ Luna starts preparing a spell to banish Twilight to the moon for a thousand years.

‘Uh... Excuse me...’ The Wandering Physicist interrupts.

‘What!’ Both mares snap at once.

Slinking away once again, The Wandering Physicist says, ‘I don’t mind hosting both of you.’ Selene laughs. ‘But I think Twilight should pick the first game since it was her idea.’ Twilight laughs back.

Having reset the nuclear clock back to two minutes to midnight, The Wandering Physicist sighs and starts leading the group back to the shop.

Like dinner, the intended night of friendly gaming is another battlefield. Twilight and Selene both battle each other fiercely. When they are against each other, they only focus on the other, leaving The Wandering Physicist to pick up the pieces. When they are on the same team, the situation depended on whether you can target your teammates. If they can target each other, they eliminate each other endlessly throughout the match, leaving the Wandering Physicist to clean up the mess. If they cannot target each other, not even the gods of gaming themselves could stop them in the endless battle to one-up the other.

As the night wears on, Twilight loses her energy. The Wandering Physicist notices this as his own energy starts to fade. As for Luna, the tales of the near limitless energy of the Princess of the Night have been basically proven. At the end of a round, Twilight lets out a big yawn.

‘I second that feeling.’ The Wandering Physicist moans.

‘But it is only just past midnight! I am not done pwning you n00bs!’ Selene protests.

‘Selene, give it a rest. We’re all tired.’ Twilight adds.

Selene sits back in a huff. ‘Fine.’

Twilight gets up and stretches. ‘I guess I should be going.’ She turns to The Wandering Physicist. ‘I will be seeing you around.’

Twilight leans up close to The Wandering Physicist. She nuzzles his cheek, then, to the shock of all three ponies, she touches her horn against his forehead for a bit longer than a passing, accidental touch. Selene’s jaw drops to the floor and she makes an expression like she was smashed in the face with an anvil. The Wandering Physicist freezes in place. Twilight is blushing full red as she backs away. She takes a deep breath, gives The Wandering Physicist a friendly smile, and quickly leaves before she dies of embarrassment.

After The Wandering Physicist unfreezes, he very nervously looks over at Selene. She calms enough to regain her composure. Luna uses her magic to remove her perception filters, letting her normal appearance out in public for the first time since she got up in the morning. She take a breath and looks at The Wandering Physicist and smiles.

‘So, shall we retire?’

‘Uh... I don’t mind taking the couch. You can have my bed.’

‘Aww. Are you afraid of older women?’ Luna giggles.

‘I am not as young as I may look.’

Luna raises an eyebrow. She smiles again. ‘You are indeed interesting, good sir. Have a pleasant night.’

Luna retires to the bedroom in the back. The Wandering Physicist gives a big sigh and starts trying to get comfortable.

Morning light fills The Wandering Physicist’s gaming room. He is passed out on the couch, his left side is hanging off. Seemingly holding his right side on the couch, Luna is sleeping with her head on his chest. He stirs a little and tries turning over and accidentally kisses the princess on the cheek. He wakes, notices what he has done and promptly falls off the couch. Luna yawns and stretches.

‘Well, it looks like you know the proper way to wake a sleeping princess,’ Luna giggles.

The Wandering Physicist stammers nonsense as Luna picks herself up.

‘It was quite the pleasure getting to know you.’

The stallion nods in response.

‘Oh. And I believe I have an answer to one of your conundrums.’

‘Just one of them?’ The Wandering Physicist asks. ‘What is it?’

‘I think you’ll get it when it comes to you, James.’

The Wandering Physicist looks at Luna, confused. Luna just giggles once more and teleports away. The Wandering Physicist looks around to try to figure out what just happened. He looks at the clock, sees it is still morning then lays down again and sighs.

Author's Note

Current TWP love triangle: Twilight vs Luna

Sad fact: The love triangle (and future complexity) was not intended. It accidentally happened in Gaming is Magic and sort of spiraled out of control for most of the series. Sorry.

A Date to Remember

Main Characters: TWP, Rei, Lucas, Twilight, Spike, Pinkie
Cameos: None
Original Write Date: January 2, 2012

The Wandering Physicist stumbles into The Power Block in the middle of the afternoon. He is not coming from his living quarters above the store as would be expected but from the street. He makes his way across the store and starts heading up to his home.

Lucas closes up shop since there are few patrons left in the store, then heads up stairs after his boss. The living area is empty, but Rei eating a snack at the table. Under the table, The Wandering Physicist is curled into a ball and shaking visibly.

‘Hi!’ Rei greets cheerfully.

‘Uh... Boss?’ Lucas looks under the table. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m dying, Lucas. I really am. No regeneration for me.’

‘Boss! What is wrong! Maybe I can help!’

‘I did it, Lucas. I finally did it. It is over now.’

Lucas looks up at Rei. ‘Do you have any idea what he is talking about?’

Rei looks under the table. ‘BWAH!’ She jumps back and cowers on the ceiling. ‘There is something under the table!’

Lucas sighs and looks under the table again. ‘Boss, what did you do?’

The Wandering Physicist looks back meekly. Rei swoops down and looks under the table too.

‘I asked her. I finally asked her out. I asked Twilight on a date.’

‘Yatta!’ Rei cheers. Somehow, streamers and confetti shoot out from around her.

‘That is great, boss!’ Lucas congratulates. ‘What did she say?’

‘YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES’ Twilight cheers as she bounces into the library.

Spike rushes into entry hall. He finds the over-ecstatic Twilight bounding around the room like a crazed schoolfilly. When she gets too near a bookshelf, her waving tail knocks over a row of books

‘Twilight!’ Spike shouts. ‘What is it? Why all the excitement?’

‘YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES’

‘TWILIGHT!’

Twilight stops her bouncing and smiles at her friend. ‘Yes?’ She giggles.

‘Twilight, I am happy for whatever you are happy for, but what are we happy about?‘

Twilight beams her happiest smile. ‘He did it. He finally did it.’

‘Who finally did what?’

‘Mr Wanderer. He finally asked me out.’ Twilight claps her hooves excitedly.

‘Way to go!’ Spike cheers. About freaking time.

Then something sparks in Twilight’s mind. She instantly collapses into a nervous heap on the floor with her tail in her hooves. ‘He asked me out?! How could he ask me out!? Why would he do such a thing to me!’

Spike is confused. ‘Uh... I thought you wanted to go out with him?’

‘I do! But I am not ready! I don’t know anything about going on a date! I have to study!’ Twilight bolts up and starts digging through all of the books she knocked off of the shelves. ‘SPIKE!’

Spike uncovers his ears from the yell he saw coming from kilometers away. ‘Twilight. I am standing right next to you.’

Twilight grabs Spike by the shoulders. ‘Spike! I need every book we have on romance and dating. Right now!’

‘Twilight, are you sure going to a book is a good idea? Shouldn’t a date be romantic and exciting by being spontaneous?’

‘I don’t know!’ Twilight starts digging through the first book she finds. ‘Is that in a book? Because if it is not in a book, it is not true! OH! Where is a good dating book when I need one, which is right now!’

‘I think you are overreacting a little.’ Spike takes the five-year-old farmers almanac from Twilight and sets it aside. ‘Let’s just get you a nice cup of calming tea, and I’ll help you pick out something nice to wear.’

Twilight glares over Spike. ‘What to wear!? What to wear!? This is my first date. EVER! I don’t have anything to wear since I never needed it before!’

‘We could always ask Rarity if...’

‘She would make fun of me for never having been on a date before.’

‘What is the big deal? Everypony has to have a first date at some point in their life.’

‘The big deal!? He is several times my age! Do you know how many first dates he has been on?’

The Panicking Physicist has moved from under the table to freaking out on the couch. He is currently controlling his hyperventilation via paper bag.

‘Don’t tell her this is my first first date. Please. I beg you. She can never find out.’

‘Haven’t you two been out to dinner together before?’

The Hyperventilating Physicist lowers the paper bag. ‘Do you think she has the wrong idea? What if she thinks this is just a meal between two friends?’

‘I really doubt that, boss.’

‘Yeah!’ Rei joins in. ‘She is smarter than all of you put together. She is probably picking out a pretty dress right now!’

‘OH MY PIZZA! What am I going to wear!’

‘OH MY CELESTIA! What am I going to wear!’ Twilight shouts while throwing the contents of her closet all over her bedroom.

‘Why don’t you just wear that pink dress that Rarity made for your coronation?’ Spike suggests

‘Are you insane!’ Twilight snaps. ‘He hates pink! He’ll think I am insulting him!’

Spike cringes back. ‘If he doesn’t like pink, how come he is such good friends with Pinkie Pie?’

‘Yeah? Why is he such good friends with me?’ A new voice chimes in.

Twilight and Spike turn to see Pinkie Pie standing in the room under several layers of Twilight’s dresses, coats, cloaks and saddles.

Pinkie shakes all of the clothes off her body. ‘Hi!’

‘Pinkie!?’ Just what Twilight needs. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘I’m here about your date, silly.’ Pinkie answers with a grin. ‘I thought I could help out.’

‘Thank you, Pinkie, but, I don’t think you... Wait. How did you know about my date?’

‘Given your reaction, how does the whole town not know?’ Spike mumbles.

Twilight turns and growls at Spike.

‘That is how I heard.’ Pinkie beams. ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if every restaurant in town is hoping for your imminent arrival.’

Twilight moans but cuts it short with a scream. ‘Where is he going to take me?!’

‘So... Where are you going to take her?’ Rei asks.

‘Where am I going to take her!?’ The Wandering Physicist panics from under a couch cushion.

Lucas sighs. ‘You have a time machine. You two can go anywhere in the universe.’

‘I have a time machine! I can take her anywhere in the universe!’

‘I just said that...’

‘No! She knows that! She’ll be expecting something extraordinary! I am going to come up short!’

Lucas groans. ‘I remember you telling me once that you really wanted to take her to the restaurant Milliways. Why not go there?’

The Wandering Physicist lets out a high pitched whine. Rei prances back and offers The Wandering Physicist a cup of tea.

‘Here. This will calm your nerves.’

The Wandering Physicist leans forward and sips the tea. ‘Much better. Good girl.’

Twilight tentatively drinks a cup of tea while sitting on her bed. The cup and saucer shake despite using her magic to levitate the drink. Across the room, Pinkie shoos Spike out of the room.

‘Thanks for you help, Spiky! I’ll take it from here.’ Pinkie waves as she closes the door.

‘Okay... Just take good care of her,’ Spike replies. ‘Don’t worry, Twilight! I am sure your date will go well.’

‘Thanks, Spike,’ Twilight sighs.

Pinkie finally gets the little dragon out and shuts the door. She sighs and goes over to Twilight.

‘Thanks, Pinkie.’ Twilight sips her tea. ‘I am feeling calmer with you here.’

‘Anything to help a friend!’ Pinkie cheers. She looks around nervously and her hair falls flat. ‘Now, I have to be serious with you for a moment...’

Seeing Pinkie with her hair down, Twilight begins to shake. Her tea starts spilling as she starts losing control of her magic.

‘Now, I know you like Mr James Hayate Wanderer a lot. You also know that he and I have a pact to never let the other go unhappy.’ Twilight nods in acknowledgement. ‘Good. Then know this,’ -- Pinkie approaches Twilight and stares into her eyes -- ‘if you hurt him, even if it is just a little bit, I will snatch up all of the pieces before you can even think about making a move. Got it?’

Twilight just nods her head and squeaks.

Pinkie smiles and her hair poofs out to normal. ‘Okie Doki Loki!’ She prances down to the lower level. ‘Now, let’s find you something to make you pretty!’

Twilight whines and hides under her covers from the perfect storm of nerves.

The Well-Groomed and Properly-Dressed Physicist is trying to hide under his bed, but he can only fit his head and forelegs under. Lucas and Rei are trying as hard as they can to pry him out using magic and force respectively.

‘You’re going to have to come out for your date.’ Lucas groans as he tries a float spell on the bed.

‘Nooo!’ The Wandering Physicist cries as he tries to hold to the underside of the bed.

Rei tackles The Dangling Physicist to the ground. ‘Got him!’

The filly lets her prey free and flies up to sit on the floating bed. Lucas helps his boss up. The Wandering Physicist runs his hooves through his mane until it is back to its normal level of messy. He lets out a groan.

‘You’re scared, aren’t you Boss?’

‘Yeah....’ The Nervous Physicist moans. ‘Look at me. I can stand down entire Dalek armadas, but Twilight Sparkle makes my stomach do backflips.’

‘It is okay to be scared on your first date,’ Lucas assures.

‘Were you scared on your first date?’ Rei asks from her bed/airplane.

‘Me?!’ Lucas stammers. ‘I was... I mean I will... I mean.... Hey! Who wants something from the fridge? Or my fridge... At my apartment...’

Rei starts laughing. ‘Ha ha! You haven’t been on a date yet. Silly Lucas.’

Lucas blushes. ‘Shut up... You haven’t either.’

Rei leans over the edge of the flying bed-tress. ‘So? I’m the filly. You’re supposed to ask me. Not to mention I am cute, so I am set!’

Lucas moans as loud as his employer.

Twilight has come out of hiding and is joining her friend in trying to find a nice dress to wear. She is sitting in front of a mirror as Pinkie holds up various dresses before her friend.

‘Ooo! This one is pretty! So silky!’

Twilight examines herself. ‘I don’t know... It make me look a little...’

‘Sexy!’

‘No...’

‘Overly attractive!’

‘Not that...’

‘Slinky!’

Twilight looks a little ashamed. ‘A little too trashy.’

‘Oh silly, Twilight!’ Pinkie takes the dress away. ‘That isn’t as trashy as you think.’ She starts digging through the dresses again. ‘Ooo! Look at this fluffy one! Shiny.’

While Pinkie is looking through the dresses, Twilight looks back at her friend and bites her lip. After a big sigh, she breaks the silence.

‘Pinkie. I don’t know if you are the right pony to ask about this, but...’ Twilight swallows. ‘What if... what if he wants to...’

‘Wants to what?’

Twilight looks around nervously. ‘You know...’

Pinkie drops the dress she is holding and blushes. ‘What makes you think I know anything about that, silly?’

‘What? No. I... I am just worried he might want to. I mean, he is older than me...’

Pinkie laughs. ‘Don’t worry about that. You know he will be as timid as you about that.’

Twilight laughs nervously. ‘Right...’

‘Now! Let’s find you a dress!’ Pinkie goes back to finding a dress from the piles on the floor.

Twilight rubs her hooves nervously. ‘I mean... I have this book...’

‘You mean this one!’ Pinkie pulls a book from under Twilight’s bed.

Twilight’s face drops as Pinkie holds the book over her head. The title of the book reads ‘Egghead’s Guide to Ultimate Sex’. Twilight then shrieks as Pinkie bucks it out the window.

‘PINKIE!’

‘Don’t worry.’ Pinkie pulls another book from nowhere and tosses it to Twilight. ‘Here. This one has pictures!’

Twilight looks at the book. The title of the book reads ‘Egghead’s Guide to Ultimate Sex - Illustrated Edition’. Twilight levitates it up and opens it. She instantly blushes.

‘Oh. My.’

While Pinkie starts going through the dresses, Twilight keeps ‘reading’ the book. Her cheeks keep getting redder, her wings point skyward and horn keeps glowing brighter. Pinkie pulls up a nice, simple and practical dress.

‘How’s this!’

Twilight screams in surprise. ‘I’ll be right back!’ She runs out of the room with the book in tow.

Pinkie shrugs, giggles to herself and starts looking for other dresses to offer Twilight.

The Wandering Physicist, Lucas and Rei are back seated around the kitchen table again. All of the parties have calmed down, except Rei who is really enjoying the crazy emotions flying about her. She hopes that The Wandering Physicist asks more ponies out on first dates so she can watch him freak out more.

‘What if...’ The Wandering Physicist starts, ‘she wants to...’

Lucas moans and slams his head into the table. ‘BOSS! Don’t ever ask me anything like that ever again!’

‘It is a legitimate ques... OH MY SAGAN! WHERE IS REI!’

The stallions looks around the room. Rei is nowhere to be found. Before they can get up to look, they hear her coming up the stairs. She happily trots back to the table with a small box in her mouth. She sets the box in front of The Paling Physicist.

Rei beams. ‘Just remember to be safe.’

The Tortured Physicist lets out a loud groan and slams his head into the table.

‘Great. I am getting sex advice from my daughter.’

Rei freezes in her seat. ‘What,’ she squeaks.

Lucas is stunned. ‘Uh.... Boss...’

The Wandering Physicist’s eye snap wide. ‘Oh no!’ He sits up. ‘Did I reveal one of the secrets of the universe again? I tend to do that by accident when I am panicking.’

Lucas waves a leg in front of Rei’s face. ‘Yeah. She is gone.’

‘Oh sh....’ The Worrying Physicist panics. ‘What was it? Was it that she likes Stormy? Or was it that she likes Inkie? Or was it the Lucas one?’

‘What!’ Lucas snaps to attention.

‘Oh monkey trumpets,’ The Alarmed Physicist mumbles as he looks between his frozen allies.

Twilight has returned to her room. She is wearing a nice dress that Pinkie helped pick out. She is blushing beet red as Pinkie brushes her mane. Pinkie is humming a sweet song to herself.

‘I am so sorry I did that.’ Twilight mumbles as she stares at the ground. She can never look at Pinkie again without feeling embarrassed.

‘It is okay!’ Pinkie cheers. ‘Better to take care of that now rather than later when it would make things really awkward.’

Twilight goes from red to white as she thinks of the horror of The Wandering Physicist catching her doing such a disgraceful thing. Then again... She blushes again.

‘There!’ Pinkie sets down the brush. ‘You are all pretty now!’

‘Thanks, Pinkie...’

Pinkie notices Twilight’s face and giggles to herself as she gets a wicked plan. ‘You know... If you need help with page one-thirty-seven, you can always call me...’

Twilight’s magic goes of spontaneously, and the two mares are teleported to the main hall. Spike shouts as they almost fall on top of him.

‘Whoa... Spin-y...’ Pinkie falls over.

‘Twilight, are you okay?’ Spike worries.

Twilight shakes her head clear. ‘I am fine, Spike. My magic just got away from me for a second there.’

‘Are you sure you are okay?’

‘Don’t worry, Spike,’ Twilight assures. ‘Just working my nerves out.’

‘Wasn’t the first time this evening,’ Pinkie giggles.

‘PINKIE!’

‘Anyway, you look great, Twilight.’ Spike compliments. ‘He is sure to be impressed.’

Twilight blushes and starts fiddling with her mane. ‘Really? You’re just saying that.’

Pinkie slaps Twilight’s hooves. ‘Stop that. You don’t want to mess up you mane.’

‘Sorry. I just can’t control myself when I get nervous.’

‘At least you don’t have any secrets you could accidentally blurt out like at Fluttershy’s fashion show.’

Twilight looks around nervously. ‘Selene is really Princess Luna!’

‘Really!’ Spike is surprised.

‘Well, duh,’ Pinkie rolls her eyes.

Twilight turns from lecturing Spike not to tell anypony. ‘Wait. What?’

‘Yeah. A lot of us know that already.’ She starts counting. ‘Mr Wanderer, me, The Doctor, Rei, Celestia. I think Trixie and Inkie know too... Hmm. Who else?’ Pinkie starts pondering.

Twilight sits down calmly. ‘Oh. I didn’t know it was such a wide secret.’ She snaps to Spike, ‘That doesn’t mean you can tell anypony though.’

Spike sighs, ‘Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.’

‘Good.’ Twilight nods.

There is a knock at the door.

‘Not good.’ Twilight hides behind Pinkie.

Spike rolls his eyes and answers the door. The Wandering Physicist is standing there. He smiles from behind a bouquet of flowers. Behind him, Rei and Lucas watch from a relatively conspicuous location. All around, it seems their friends are watching from various vantage points without getting in the way of the couple. Twilight gets up from behind Pinkie and goes to the door. She levitates the flowers out of The Wandering Physicist’s grip.

‘Thank you. These are sweet.’

‘Both literally and figuratively.’

Twilight giggles.

‘No. I am serious.’ The Wandering Physicist replies.

Twilight giggles again as she sets the flowers aside. A silence falls over the couple. Their eyes meet, and they blush.

‘You look stunning,’ both say at once.

They both look away again. The Wandering Physicist is the first to look up.

‘Shall we go, Miss Sparkle?’ He offers a foreleg to hold.

Twilight takes the foreleg. ‘I would be delighted, James.’

The couple walk off together for their first real date.

Author's Note

TWP Timeline: His first date EVER! He chose the perfect mare to ask out. First time Twilight refers to him by his name.

Story Timeline: TWP and Twilight become an official couple. Rei accidentally learns TWP is her father (sorta). First mention of page 137.

Fun fact: 3, 7, 13, 17, 31, 37, 71, 73, 137, 173, and 317 are all prime. 137 is my favorite number for this reason. I love all of the primes! Note: 1 is not prime. Your grade school maths teacher lied to you.

The Princess' First Girlfriend

Characters (Human): Cloudchaser, Luna/Selene, TWP, Twilight, Celestia/Amy, Flitter
Characters (Pony): Luna
Original Write Date: 04/03/2012

Cloudchaser makes her way to the center of the town’s park in the middle of the night. This would seem weird for most people, but tonight she is not alone. Several others are forming up and making a small group atop a central hill. Four people are already at the top of the hill setting up telescopes. Cloudchaser recognizes one of them as Twilight Sparkle from her help preparing for Tornado Day. With her are two other women and a man. The man seems too engrossed in working on the telescopes to notice Twilight snap at one of the other women. The woman giggles and backs away. The other woman, no older than fifteen or sixteen and with long grey hair, is also absorbed with the telescopes. Cloudchaser finds a place to sit near the front of the group. The woman Twilight yelled at sits next to her.

Twilight looks over the telescopes before turning to the gathered crowd. ‘Good evening. I am Twilight Sparkle. Welcome to the first meeting of the astronomy club.’

A number of people in the crowd clap, including Cloudchaser. Cloudchaser might be part of the weather patrol, but her comet-shaped cutie mark reveals her interest in the stars as well. She does not have a job as awesome as her cousin Star Chaser, but the two enjoy similar hobbies. Cloudchaser has not met many other people in town that share her interests, but she hopes this club will introduce her to the right people.

‘The purpose of this club is to share our love of stargazing and to learn more about the stars,’ Twilight continues. ‘As club co-founder, I will be explaining all about the lovely heavens that Princess Luna provided us.’ She pauses. ‘Ahem. James.’

James looks up from a telescope. ‘Uh, hey. I am The Wandering Physicist. You can call me James or Mr Wanderer if you prefer. I will be correcting everything Twilight tells you, such as the fact that Luna did not create the heavens and the changes between newer and older star charts are due to stellar drift.’

Twilight groans at James. The woman besides Cloudchaser boos.

‘Well, it looks like Selene and I agree on something,’ Twilight states with a nod.

‘Actually, I was booing stellar drift,’ Selene replies. ‘The rest of that is all true.’

Twilight growls again and turns back to the group. ‘Anyway, since this is our first meeting, we should do introductions. Let’s start at the other end of the group so that Selene doesn’t hog all our time.’

While the rest of the group starts their introductions, Cloudchaser looks over at Selene. The woman appears to be about as tall at Cloudchaser or Twilight. She has long, light-blue hair tied off in a ponytail. Though she seems to be about as old as Cloudchaser, her rounder face and glasses make her look a lot younger. There is just something about this woman Cloudchaser cannot put her finger on.

Selene looks over at Cloudchaser and smiles. ‘You’re up.’

Cloudchaser blushes, stands, turns to the group and bows. ‘Oh! Uh, hi! I am Cloudchaser! Nice to meet everyone.’

‘Thank you, Miss Cloudchaser.’ Twilight smiles. She turns to the group. ‘For our first night, James and I have selected a few fascinating objects to observe. He and Inkie have been setting up the telescopes for us. Um, for the next meeting, if you have telescopes of your own that you wish to bring, that is encouraged but for now, we will all share the ones here. Remember: this club is about making friends and learning about astronomy, so be friendly.’

The group starts getting up and going to the telescopes. A hand is extended in front of Cloudchaser. She looks up to see Selene smiling down at her.

‘Come on. Let’s have some fun together.’ Selene grins.

Cloudchaser blushes a bit and takes the offer. She lets Selene lead her to the telescopes.

Hours later, the meeting is over. James and Twilight are loading up his SUV with their telescopes. In the back seat, a young girl with long red hair tied back with a bow is sleeping. Twilight sighs as she loads another telescope.

‘She tried her best,’ Twilight comments. ‘She staying with you?’

‘Yeah. It is a miracle Applejack even let her come out with us,’ James says.

‘Why did she want to come anyway?’

James sits on the back of his car. ‘Well, she shows an innate skill in design and construction. It follows she has an interest in the science and engineering that makes up that talent.’

‘And the fact she can sew and do crafts like that?’

‘Materials engineering. Nothing too fancy.’

Twilight groans and rolls her eyes. Cloudchaser approaches the couple.

‘Um... Excuse me,’ Cloudchaser says.

‘Uh, hey. Miss...’ James replies.

‘I’m Cloudchaser,’ Cloudchaser greets. ‘Twilight, we met before when...’

‘Tornado Day,’ Twilight completes. ‘I remember. Funny you show interest in astronomy when you can’t get a simple anemometer.’

‘Sorry. This is more of a hobby of mine than anything else. Anyway, I have a question for you.’

‘Shoot.’

‘Um, well...’ Cloudchaser nervously looks down and plays with her hands. ‘Are, are we going to have more meetings like this?’

‘Well, we have to set up the newsletter, website, social networks... Should take a week or so...’ James muses.

Twilight sighs. ‘We’ll send out an email. Should be again soon. I’m going to try to schedule two meetings so we can have more informal ones for adults during the week and weekend ones with activities planned so more kids can come.’

‘Great. Cool.’ Cloudchaser glances up. ‘Will, uh, Selene be there?’

James grins. ‘You fancy her?’

Twilight groans at the comment. Cloudchaser blushes and looks away. James laughs.

‘Nothing to be embarrassed about. I like her too.’

Twilight snorts. ‘Yeah. That’s why she’ll be back.’

‘Twilight... What did you learn about sharing?’

Twilight growls and turns away. ‘I’ll be in the car.’

James groans. ‘Anyway, Miss Cloudchaser...’

‘Just Cloudchaser is fine.’

‘Right. Uh, I am sure Selene will be at the next meeting. She is a very open person if you just talk to her. I know she would love making a new friend.’

‘Thank you. I can’t wait.’

‘Want a lift? We have the room.’

‘Oh. No. I live near here. I don’t mind the walk. Besides, I am morning shift with the weather crew. I’m not that tired at all.’

‘Right on. Well, see ya around.’

James gets up from his car and closes the back, carefully to not wake Apple Bloom. He climbs in and drives off. Cloudchaser takes a moment to stretch before jogging home to get ready for work.

The next weekend, Cloudchaser runs to the park to get to the astronomy club early. She really wants to see Selene again. Cloudchaser cannot explain the feeling. She has had boyfriends and girlfriends before but even when she was dating the adorable Thunderlane, she never felt like this. Cloudchaser charges up the hill to see if Selene has arrived early as well. She grins widely when she sees Twilight, James, Inkie and Apple Bloom setting up the telescopes. Selene is there as well.

Twilight and Inkie are both working on a telescope on their own. James is showing Apple Bloom how to set up a telescope. The young girl is staring in awe at all of the dials and astronomical instruments. Selene is laying on the grass staring at the sky. She has her shoes kicked off, but the hood on her jacket is up. Cloudchaser smiles at the scene.

‘Uh, can I help?’ Cloudchaser asks.

‘Kick off your shoes and get comfortable,’ Selene replies. ‘James brought snacks, but left them in the car for some reason.’

‘Don’t worry. Rei is bringing the snacks,’ James mumbles.

Twilight looks up from her telescope. ‘You left Rei alone with the food?’

Cloudchaser thinks. ‘I think I know Rei. She is the kid who hangs out with Dash, right?’

James looks up. ‘Wait. We left Rei alone with the food? Not good.’

James scrambles up and runs back down the hill. Twilight groans. Selene laughs. Inkie sighs. Apple Bloom just ignores the adults and continues playing with the telescope.

‘Yo! Cloudchaser,’ Selene calls. She pats the ground beside her. ‘Just get comfy and wait for the show to start.’

‘How do you know my name?’

‘Twi told me you were looking for me.’ Selene reaches a hand up. ‘Great to meet ya!’

Cloudchaser takes the hand to shake it, but Selene pulls her down. Cloudchaser catches herself before she collapses on top of Selene. Cloudchaser blushes as the bespectacled Selene looks her over. Selene pushes Cloudchaser off, and she lands with a thump next to the other woman.

‘Sky watching is fun. Don’t you think, Cloudchaser?’ Selene asks.

‘What? Yeah,’ Cloudchaser replies. ‘It is just so beautiful. Everything. The clouds. The wind. The weather. The planets and stars. Just imagining what it would be like to be out there with them...’

‘I know. Amazing isn’t it.’

‘What do you think aliens are like?’

Selene laughs. ‘I think they are different parts brilliant, crazy, handsome, and at times terrifying. I bet they’re all around us too.’

Cloudchaser laughs. ‘I think they would be really daft to come here. They’d have to be be the oddest creatures to want to come to this planet.’

Selene smiles. ‘I bet they would have their reasons.’

James returns. He is escorting a short girl in an oversized, cat-eared hoodie. Cloudchaser recognizes her as Rei from her work with the weather crews. Rei is holding her stomach. Rei collapses by Selene.

‘Sel-chan... Rei-chan’s tummy hurts,’ Rei moans.

James shakes his head and sighs. ‘I hope someone else brought snacks. I’m tapped out.’

Twilight facepalms. ‘Don’t tell me she ate it all?’

James grimaces. ‘Everything but the crudités.’

Twilight groans. ‘So all but the health food.’

‘Well, she does have good taste in snacks.’

Twilight growls. Rei rolls to her stomach and burps.

Selene laughs from her vantage point. ‘This is going to be a great night.’ She turns to Cloudchaser. ‘Settle in for the fun.’

After the meeting, Selene and Cloudchaser are helping James and Twilight load up his SUV. Rei and Apple Bloom are sleeping in the back seat.

‘Thanks for the help, Cloudchaser.’ Twilight says. ‘Glad to get someone who is willing to lend a hand.’

‘Hey. I’m helping.’ Selene protests.

‘Not after getting Rei to go all hyper on us.’

Selene laughs. ‘At least she eventually crashed. It was fun.’

‘I still don’t know why you invited her,’ Twilight grumbles.

James shrugs. ‘If Inkie is there, Rei is usually not far behind. Besides, she gave the kids someone to play with.’

‘I guess that was a good...’ Twilight gives a big yawn and starts nodding off.

James directs Twilight to the front seat. ‘Okay. Looks like we’re having a big sleepover at my place.’

‘Meh.’ Selene shrugs. ‘I have to make the train back to the capital if I am to make it to work in the morning.’

‘Yeah... Same here.’ Cloudchaser sighs.

‘All right. Well, wish you a good morning or whatever.’ James waves. ‘See you soon.’

Selene and Cloudchaser wave as the car drives away. They start heading back into town as well.

Selene turns to Cloudchaser. ‘Hey. Want to get together sometime?’

Cloudchaser freezes and blushes. ‘I-I would like that.’

‘Great! How about the cafe near midtown, uh, Thursday evening?’

‘Yes! I’ll look forward to that.’

Selene smiles. ‘I’ll see you around then.’

Selene gives a small bow as she splits off to head to the train station. Cloudchaser smiles and does a small dance before rushing home to get ready for work.

Wait until Flitter hears about this!

Cloudchaser is trying to find the perfect outfit for her date with Selene. Well, she thinks it is a date. She is not sure if Selene thinks the same way. She has picked out a nice lilac-colored blouse, but she does not know what to wear with it. She huffs and grabs a light blue tank top and similarly-colored skirt. She quickly slips them on and grabs her purse.

Cloudchaser heads out of her home and hops on her bicycle. She could afford a car, but she prefers the workout. She takes a deep breath and hopes she does not sweat too much. Another breath and off she goes.

Cloudchaser parks her bike a block from the cafe. She takes a moment to confirm a lack of visible sweat before turning to the cafe. Selene is standing outside waiting. She looks a little older than she normally does. It must be a trick of the light or the midnight blue dress she is wearing. Cloudchaser dons a big smile and approaches. Selene turns and smiles.

‘Sorry I’m late,’ Cloudchaser apologizes. ‘I didn’t know what to wear.’

‘I think you look lovely,’ Selene replies.

Cloudchaser blushes and looks away. ‘Thanks. So do you.’

Selene moves to the door. ‘Let’s get inside. I want to learn all about you.’

‘If you want to learn everything, you are definitely paying for the drinks.’

The women laugh as they head inside for their dinner.

Selene escorts Cloudchaser back to her home. Cloudchaser is a little tipsy after a bit too much wine with dinner. Selene chains Cloudchaser’s bike out front before helping her friend to the door. Cloudchaser opens the door.

‘Want to come in for some coffee or something?’ Cloudchaser offers.

‘I am not that easy of a first date,’ Selene laughs.

Cloudchaser blushes. ‘So this is a date?’

‘I thought you knew.’

‘Well, in that case, I am not that easy of a first date either.’

‘I hope not.’

The two women laugh at the joke.

‘Want to get together again soon?’ Selene offers.

‘I would love to. I’ll call you in the morning.’

Selene looks away. ‘Uh... How about I call after you’re done from work. I have some morning duties.’

‘I look forward to your call.’ Cloudchaser smiles. ‘And even more forward to our next date.’

Cloudchaser giggles. She leans in and gives Selene a kiss. Selene is briefly surprised but returns the kiss. Cloudchaser backs away and smiles again.

‘I’ll call you,’ Selene says as she walks back towards the center of town.

‘You better!’ Cloudchaser calls back. ‘I know people that can literally rain on your day.’

The women laugh and wave before Cloudchaser leans against the door. She lets out a loud squeal.

‘Best. Date. Ever!’

A few days later, Cloudchaser is changing in the weather patrol locker room after work. She is ready to get home and have a nice shower before getting some rest for the day. A woman with long, pale green hair runs up.

‘Cloudchaser! I got a sweet assignment. You have to come with.’

Cloudchaser puts on her shirt. ‘What is it, Flitter?’

Flitter holds up a sealed envelope. ‘Boss asked me to drop off the monthly weather report to the office in the capital. You have to come.’

‘I don’t know. We had a pretty long day.’

‘Come on. It will be fun.’ An idea strikes. ‘Oh! Your girlfriend works in the capital too. Give her a call! We can do lunch.’

‘Selene is probably too busy...’

‘Please! I really want to meet her! I’ll pay for your lunch, even if she can’t make it.’

Cloudchaser sighs. ‘Fine. Don’t blame me if she says “no”.’

Cloudchaser gets her mobile out of her locker and dials a number. She rolls her eyes at Flitter’s giddy smile. The phone on the opposite end picks up.

Hello?

‘Ah! Selene. It is Cloudchaser.’

Oh. Hey. Mornin’.

‘Um... Are you free this afternoon?’

This afternoon? As in this afternoon this afternoon?

‘Uh... See, my friend Flitter and I are going to be coming in to the capital on some business.’ Cloudchaser winces. ‘And would you like to join us for lunch?’

Flitter giggles at Cloudchaser’s behavior. There is a long pause on the line and a new voice cuts in.

We would so love to join you, Cloudchaser! The new voice says. Say.... The French restaurant on Broad?

‘Uh... Okay? Sounds good?’

Great! Sis sends kisses!

The call ends, and Cloudchaser looks at her phone in confusion.

‘So...’ Flitter asks.

Cloudchaser sighs. ‘Get dressed. We have a date.’

Flitter giggles and goes to her locker.

Cloudchaser and Flitter exit a bus at a stop in the middle of the capital. All of the other pedestrians ignore the women as they scan the street. Flitter taps Cloudchaser on the shoulder when she notices the restaurant they are looking for. The pair make their way to the restaurant. Selene is standing out front next to another woman. She is several centimeters taller than Selene and much, much more curvy. Whereas Selene has a bit of a scowl, this other woman is smiling and waving to people. She also seems to be flaunting a fancy necklace strategically placed above her cleavage. It is this woman who first notices Cloudchaser and Flitter approaching and waves them over. Flitter waves back as they get near.

‘You must be Cloudchaser,’ the new woman greets. ‘So lovely to finally meet you.’

The woman grabs Cloudchaser in a hug and shoves Cloudchaser’s head into her chest. Cloudchaser is bright red when she is finally let free.

‘Amy! I told you to stop doing that!’ Selene snaps.

‘I just wanted to get to know your special friend,’ Amy grins back.

‘Hi! I’m Flitter!’ Flitter greets with a happy wave.

‘Nice to meet you too,’ Amy says as she grabs Flitter in a hug as well.

‘I am not complaining,’ Flitter says from her predicament.

Amy lets the other woman free and winks. ‘That is good to hear.’

‘Sister!’ Selene yells.

Amy smirks. Selene scowls then turns away. She takes Cloudchaser by the hand and leads her inside. The others follow as well. The maitre d’ looks up from his station.

‘We’re ready for our table, good sir!’ Amy cheers.

A waiter leads the group to a table. Amy gives him a wink after he leaves the group. The group starts going over the menu.

‘Cloudchaser, I heard you met my sister at some astronomy thing.’

‘Uh, yeah. We’re in the astronomy club together,’ Cloudchaser replies.

‘The one run by Twilight Sparkle,’ Selene adds.

Amy perks up.

Selene grins. ‘And James.’

Amy snorts. ‘I knew there was a reason I preferred to get my beauty sleep.’ She sets down her menu. ‘So, what is everyone drinking? Hopefully nothing under 100 proof.’

Selene facepalms. ‘Sister. They have a train ride home after this.’

‘Not to mention we had the morning shift too,’ Cloudchaser adds.

‘I just hope the meal gives me enough energy to stay awake until we get home.’ Flitter turns to Cloudchaser. ‘I’m stealing your bed if I can’t make it home.’

Cloudchaser groans at her friend. Selene giggles. Amy frowns for a second before getting a crafty grin.

‘You could sleep over with the two of us. It is pretty lonely where we live. Sure, two is company, and three is a crowd, but four would be an orgy.’

Selene instantly spits her sip of water across the table. Cloudchaser and Flitter both tense up and blush bright red. They glance over at each other before turning away and blushing redder. Amy laughs to herself and leans back in her seat while taking a sip of her water.

The rest of lunch goes just about the same with Amy pushing the limits of what she can say and do before Selene makes a scene. Selene keeps her calm. She does not want to embarrass herself in front of Cloudchaser. Both Cloudchaser and Flitter make it through the lunch embarrassed but not harmed. Cloudchaser actually enjoys the time she was able to have with her girlfriend.

In the restaurant’s foyer, the group is gets ready to go their separate ways. Amy exchanges handshakes with the two guests instead of hugs.

‘Great meeting both of you. I am glad to see my little sister met someone she really likes.’

‘Thank you, Amy,’ Cloudchaser replies. ‘It was... interesting meeting you too.’

‘Yeah. Thanks for treating us, too,’ Flitter adds.

‘It was my pleasure.’ Amy bows. She jabs Selene. ‘Go on.’

Selene blushes and kisses Cloudchaser on the cheek. ‘Sorry for my sister. It was lovely seeing you again. It honestly made my day.’

Cloudchaser blushes too. ‘Mine too.’

‘We’ll have to do it again some time. ... Maybe more privately.’

Cloudchaser giggles. ‘Definitely.’

Cloudchaser and Flitter wave a goodbye and head out of the restaurant. They start heading back to the bus stop. Cloudchaser stops.

‘Oh! I wanted to get a card from the place. To prove we’ve been there.’

‘Okay. Take your time.’

Cloudchaser jogs back. She does not see Selene and Amy when she goes in, but the maitre d’ gives her a card for the restaurant, and she is on her way. As she gets near the door, she sees Princess Celestia and Princess Luna come out of a washroom together. For some reason, they are dressed just like Selene and Amy. Luna looks very upset about something. Cloudchaser hides and watches for a chance to approach them.

‘Did you have to behave like that the whole time, sister?’ Luna hisses.

‘Oh please.’ Celestia rolls her eyes. ‘I was just having a little fun. Besides, I wanted to make an impression on them.’ She grins. ‘Like they left on me.’

‘Ugh. With your behavior, I have no idea how she could be my child when you are the one obsessed with that same subject.’

‘Once you have it, you will know,’ Celestia smirks.

Luna turns bright red. ‘Sister!’

Celestia laughs. She smiles for a second before sighing. ‘Are you sure about her?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I know you wanted to see what it was like dating another woman, but are you sure you want to keep up with the charade?’

‘I was going to tell her when I was ready. Cloudchaser deserves that much.’

Cloudchaser’s heart skips. She has been dating Princess Luna!

‘That is not what I meant.’ Celestia sighs. ‘I mean, did you really want to try juggling her and your secret boyfriend as well? You are doing a poor enough job hiding your relationship with him from the general public. Do you want to try keeping a second relationship secret as well?’

‘But I...’

Cloudchaser really wants to hear the rest of that thought.

‘Lulu, I know you care. I could tell that with every glance, but I also know you spend a disproportionate amount of your time with James. If you are going to maintain a secret relationship, you have to pick: James or Cloudchaser?’

Luna frowns and chokes back a tear. ‘Okay... I’ll tell her tomorrow...’

Cloudchaser’s heart shatters.

‘I’m sorry, Lulu...’ Celestia hugs her sister.

A limousine pulls up in front of the restaurant. The princesses exit the restaurant and enter the limousine. Cloudchaser stands where she had been hiding for a moment. She wipes the tears away and runs out of the restaurant. Flitter is waiting nearby.

‘CC! Did you see the...’

Cloudchaser grabs her friend’s hand and keeps running to the bus stop. She cannot contain her tears any longer.

Cloudchaser has spent her entire time since she got home crying. After crying all night in her bed, she is crying in her living room. She is completely devastated knowing that Luna will be coming later. She dreads the coming knock on her door. Then it comes. Cloudchaser gets up and checks out the window. She sees Flitter standing outside. She lets Flitter in and goes back to the couch.

‘CC, what is wrong?’ Flitter frowns and sits by her friend. ‘I haven’t seen you this devastated since you and Thunderlane broke up.’

Cloudchaser hugs her friend and starts crying. ‘It is Selene...’

‘What did she do!’ Flitter roars. ‘I will end her!’

‘No... She is Luna...’

Flitter gasps. ‘That is so cool!’

Cloudchaser shakes her head. ‘No... She is going to break up with me... She can’t see me any more.’

Flitter nods. ‘Yep. She is dead. No one hurts my CC and gets away with it.’

The friends hug again as Cloudchaser resumes crying. There is another knock on the door.

‘Cloudchaser... It is me... Selene...’ is said from the other side of the door.

Flitter lets her friend go and goes to the door.

‘What do you want?’ Flitter snaps.

Luna grimaces. ‘I... guess you heard... I guess that is good since that means what I have to say won’t hurt her too much more...’

Flitter looks back at Cloudchaser and gets a nod. Flitter opens the door. Luna, not in any disguise as Selene, is standing on the other side. Behind her, a pair of bodyguards watch the street. Flitter glares at the sad-looking princess.

‘Miss Flitter, I apologize to you too.’

Flitter pulls down the right side of her jeans to reveal her cutie mark. ‘See these? They’re dragonflies. That means if you make my best friend any more upset, I will fly at you and go dragon on your ass. Got it?’

Luna nods in reply. The two women circle around each other as Luna enters the house. Flitter closes the door behind her. The bodyguards look back. Flitter snorts, and the bodyguards turn away from the smaller woman.

Luna stands at the door, not knowing what to do. Cloudchaser curls onto the couch and glares across the room. Luna moves to the couch and sits down, prompting Cloudchaser to move as far away as she can.

‘Cloudchaser... I am so sorry.’ Luna apologizes.

‘I hate you and your sister so much right now,’ Cloudchaser growls.

Luna looks down. ‘So you heard that much?’

‘I heard it all. If you really cared for me, you would have stood up to her.

‘I couldn’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because she was right. She was right that I am bad at my relationship with James. She was right that if I kept seeing you, everything would implode around me. She was right that I could not handle it.’

‘Was she also right that you just wanted to see what it was like dating another woman?’

Luna winces. ‘Yes, I had wondered what that was like for some time now. But that had no bearing on why I asked you out. You are fun. You are interesting. You are exciting to be around.’

‘So I am so normal it is an adventure to you?’

‘No! That is not it. When I heard you asked about me, I was excited. Not too many people want to get to know the Princess of the Night. Heck, I have that stupid holiday from when I was possessed. Just knowing that you had some interest in me...’

‘But still, it doesn’t sound like you asked me out for the right reason.’

‘I wanted a relationship! I really did!’

‘Oh yeah? Prove it. Kiss me. Right now.’

Cloudchaser closes her eyes and leans forward. Luna moves over and kisses Cloudchaser. Cloudchaser grabs one of Luna’s hands and puts it over her heart. She put her other hand over Luna’s heart. After a moment, Cloudchaser back away and shakes her head.

‘Feel that? Feel my heart?’ Cloudchaser asks.

Luna nods.

‘Well, that is not what I feel with yours.’

The pain of the statement cuts Luna deeply. Cloudchaser looks away.

‘Goodbye, Luna. Tell Selene, I will miss her.’

‘She’ll miss you too, Cloudchaser.’

Luna gets up and goes to the door. A glaring Flitter sees the princess out. Flitter closes the door behind her and rushes over to comfort her sobbing friend.

A few days later, James and Twilight are unloading telescopes from the back of his SUV before the next meeting. Apple Bloom is helping carry supplies as well. Twilight gets out the last telescope and starts heading to the hill. James gives Apple Bloom a large basket of food.

‘Now, don’t let Rei anywhere near that. Got it?’

Apple Bloom sighs. ‘Ah know. Ah know.’

Apple Bloom starts heading to the meeting spot. A bicycle pulls up next to the car. James turns and sits in the back.

‘I almost thought you wouldn’t come.’

Cloudchaser walks her bike up and sits down. ‘I need something to help clear my head. This was the best idea.’

James looks over. ‘I am so sorry. I really am. I thought you two looked nice together.’

‘Nice. Yeah. Look where it got us.’ Cloudchaser looks James over. ‘Are you two really..?’

James shrugs. ‘More or less. I mean, there is, what, the seven to one? Ten to one ratio? She actually helps me get to my quota.’

‘She’s a lucky woman.’

‘I thought the same thing. She had a smart, kind, athletic and, now that Twilight won’t kill me for saying so, a quite sexy woman she was seeing.’

Cloudchaser blushes and looks away. ‘Why are you saying all of that?’

‘I have no clue. I am just talking and hoping it makes you feel better. I am worse at relationships than Luna is.’

‘I can still give you a run for your money.’

James and Cloudchaser look up to see Luna, disguised as Selene, walking up. Cloudchaser instantly looks away. Luna sits on James’ other side.

‘Lovely evening, Luna,’ James greets.

‘Yes, nature has really outdone herself,’ Luna sighs.

‘Well, I’ll be off.’ James jumps up. ‘Close her up once you’re done.’

James starts walking away.

‘James! Wait.’ Luna calls.

James turns back.

Luna briefly glances over at Cloudchaser. ‘If you were to consider... I mean, if it were okay...’

‘Don’t tell Twilight, but yes.’

‘Don’t tell me what?’

James turns to see Twilight walking up. She has her suspicious scowl that he is so used to seeing.

‘Nothing!’ James turns his head to the side. ‘I can see at least one star already.’

Twilight turns bright red and covers her bottom despite it being under her jeans and the bottom of her jacket. James laughs and heads up the hill. Twilight chases after him. Luna and Cloudchaser laugh at the couple. Once they are gone, an awkward silence falls.

‘My first boyfriend was Discord,’ Luna says.

‘What?’ Cloudchaser is confused.

‘My first boyfriend was Discord. A long, long time ago. It was this whole... thing. Then I sealed him in stone.’

‘Why are you telling me this?’

‘Because, with him and James, I want you to know that all of my boyfriends have been pretty crazy.’

‘I heard that!’ is shouted from the hill.

Luna laughs. Cloudchaser continues to give Luna a confused look.

‘I make some odd choices when it comes to the guys I like. That is why I was so happy that the first girl I liked was someone so perfect.’

Cloudchaser blushes and looks away. ‘If this is some sort of stupid apology...’

Luna shakes her head. ‘No. I could never apologize for how I hurt you. Even another thousand years on the moon wouldn’t be punishment enough. But...’

Cloudchaser looks up. ‘But what?’

Luna leans in and kisses Cloudchaser. She takes Cloudchaser’s hand and hold it over her heart. Cloudchaser stares in shock.

‘But I think I am starting to understand what you are talking about.’

To: Harpflank
From: MoonyMaiden

That was the best story so far! I loved the ending so much! It was so touching. You are the best human fanfic writer in Equestria.

PS: It did seem somewhat familiar to me for some reason though...

Luna hits send on the message, and it get posted straight away on the human fiction site she is browsing. She sits back from her computer and laughs.

‘That Harpflank... I’d love to meet her some day.’

A new message appears on the site.

‘A new one already?’ Luna scans the message. ‘ “Mistress of Fashion”? Rated M for sex?’

Luna looks around nervously. She uses her magic to make sure all of her doors and windows are sealed, the curtains are drawn and a magical barrier is erected to prevent anypony from teleporting into her chamber. With one hoof on the mouse and the other drifting slowly downward, she opens the story.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Luna starts dating Cloudchaser.

Story Event: This is where Lyra's humanized stories become a thing. I do not blame readers for not liking them, but they are really fun to write with that joke in mind.

There were three reasons this story was created:
1) I wanted to do more humanized after that last chapter. They are so fun to write!
2) I wanted to use Luna again since we hadn't had her star in a chapter in forevers!
3) Hurricane Fluttershy just aired and I love Cloudchaser. She is the best pegasus, barely ahead of Fluttershy.

As another point of interest: this chapter also started the trend of the humanized chapters being about the relationship between two characters.

Apple Bloom's First Date

Characters (Human): TWP, Apple Bloom, Applejack, Big Macintosh, Twilight, Pinkie, Rei, Stormy, Inkie, Lucas, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Pipsqueak, Dinky, Allie Way, Rarity
Characters (Pony): Scootaloo
Original Write Date: 04/16/2012

‘Why not!’ Apple Bloom yells. ‘He said “yes” when I asked him.’

Applejack crosses her arms. ‘First of all, yer too young. Second, he’s too old. Ah ain’t lettin’ mah sister do somethin’ as unwholesome as that.’

Apple Bloom is arguing with her sister in their kitchen. Big Macintosh is sitting to the side watching them.

‘It is jus’ a date. Where is the harm in a date?’

‘Yer talkin’ ‘bout datin’ someone way older than ya!’

‘But we hang out t’gether all the time. Ya don’ have a problem with that.’

Applejack scowls. ‘Ah have a problem when ya bring home one of his crazy ideas, which ya seem t’ be doin’ more often lately.’

Apple Bloom pouts. ‘Ya just don’ want me t’ see him ‘cause ya want him all t’ yerself.’

Applejack blushes. ‘That ain’t true! Where do ya get a silly idea like that?’

‘Then why’d ya have him over the other night?’

‘He was jus’, uh, helpin’ fix a problem with our intertubes. Right, Big Mac?’

Big Macintosh nods. ‘Eeyup.’

‘But why did the two of ya spend all that time alone in yer room?’

Applejacks blush deepens when Big Macintosh joins in the stare. ‘He was, uh, helpin’ with mah computer... Anyway! This ain’t about me. It is about y’all not goin’ on a date, especially not with him.’

‘But sis!’

‘No buts, missy.’

Apple Bloom looks over at her brother with the saddest of eyes. ‘Big Mac. Help me out.’

Big Macintosh sighs. ‘Listen, AJ. What is the real harm in lettin’ her do this? It ain’t like he’d try somethin’ funny. Plus, it would be good practice for when she’s ready t’ go on a real date.’

Applejack glares. ‘Don’ ya use yer fancy logical analysis on me.’

Big Macintosh crosses his arms. ‘Fine, AJ. Ya know him better than all of us. Do ya really think he’d do somethin’ wrong to Apple Bloom?’

Applejack looks from the upset Big Macintosh to the pleading Apple Boom to the floor before sighing.

‘Fine!’ Applejack throws her hands up. ‘Don’t blame me if somethin’ bad happens!’

‘Yay! Thanks Applejack!’ Apple Bloom cheers. ‘Ah’m gonna go tell everyone the good news!’

Apple Bloom runs upstairs to her room to call all of her friends. Applejack turns and glares at her brother.

‘We’re followin’ her. And no arguin’!’

Applejack stomps off to her room. Big Macintosh groans and shakes his head.

‘Why not!’ James yells. ‘I said “yes” when she asked me.’

Twilight crosses her arms. ‘First of all, she’s too young. Second, you’re too old. I am not letting my boyfriend do something as unwholesome as that.’

‘AW! Come on, Twilight. It would be cute.’ Pinkie protests.

James is having Twilight and Pinkie over for dinner while Rei, Stormy and Inkie have a movie night at Inkie’s apartment. The three adults are sitting at the kitchen table after dinner.

‘He would be dating an eleven-year-old girl!’ Twilight shouts. ‘That is just wrong!’

‘She’s twelve,’ Pinkie points out. ‘You were at her birthday party too.’

‘Whatever. That is still too big of an age difference.’

‘Twilight, you are all twelve years old compared to my real age,’ James sighs.

‘Well, that’s...’ Twilight looks away. ‘My point still stands.’

‘Listen, if Applejack says it is fine, then there is nothing to get upset about.’

‘I guess...’ Twilight grumbles.

James sighs. ‘Twilight, how many times do we have to tell you to share?’

Twilight looks down and scowls. Her friends laugh at her reaction.

‘Yeah. It is not like we’re asking you to do page one-thirty-seven with us.’ Pinkie giggles.

Twilight turns bright red and pulls her legs up onto her chair. The others laugh and get up.

James starts collecting their plates. ‘Come on. I’ll get the system all set up. We can play some games or watch movies.’

‘Sounds fun!’ Pinke cheers.

James puts the plates in the sink. He and Pinkie head out of the kitchen, but Twilight catches both of their sleeves.

‘Would you really want to do that with me?’ Twilight mumbles.

James and Pinkie blush bright red. They look at each other, and the blush deepens.

‘Ha, ha. Silly Twilight.’ Pinkie nervously laughs. ‘I, uh, have to use the washroom.’

‘Y-Yeah. I have to set up the entertainment system.’ James fumbles.

Both of the others pull free from Twilight’s light grip and hurry away before getting more embarrassed. Twilight grins to herself.

‘I love you two so much.’

At Inkie’s underfurnished apartment, the teenagers sit around Inkie’s television. It and her computer are the only pieces of technology that do not look like they are from a thrift store. Stormy readjusts himself on an old, lumpy cushion.

‘That’s it.’ Stormy grumbles. ‘Next paycheque, first thing I do is buy you a chair.’ He gets out his mobile. ‘Who is your favorite designer? I’ll get you in for a fitting as soon as I can.’

Inkie groans. ‘Ever since she started paying you, you show off more.’

Stormy puts his mobile away. ‘I can’t help it if my fake sister loves me.’

Rei drops herself across Inkie’s lap. ‘I think this is the comfiest!’

Inkie blushes as Rei starts rubbing her head against Inkie’s stomach. She nervously picks up a keyboard and brings up a movie list on her computer.

‘So, so what do we want to watch next?’

‘Something without Silver. I got enough of her during our recent adventures and when she comes to the shop,’ Stormy snorts.

‘How about a comedy?’ Inkie suggests.

‘All you have are rom-coms. Don’t you have anything else?’

Inkie snorts. ‘I have a lot of sci-fi.’

Stormy shrugs. ‘Tch. I guess.’

‘We should watch my dad’s date with Apple Bloom.’ Rei coos from Inkie’s lap.

‘What?’ the others say as they look down at that smaller girl.

‘You didn’t hear?’ The others shake their heads. ‘Yeah. She asked him out this afternoon after tutoring. He said yes. Lucas almost dropped a stack of Vita. They’re going out this weekend.’

The other teenagers stare at Rei in shock. Rei stretches and curls up on Inkie more.

‘Rei-Team...’

‘RSI...’ Stormy groans.

‘We have our next adventure.’ Rei yawns and starts falling asleep.

Scootaloo paces back and forth across the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse. Her arms are crossed, and she is deep in thought. Sweetie Belle watches her friend and raises a hand. Scootaloo stops and looks at her friend.

‘I bet you’re wondering why I called you here.’ Scootaloo says.

Sweetie Belle nods.

‘It is because we have a traitor in our midst!’

Sweetie Belle gasps. ‘Who?’

Scootaloo scowls. ‘Apple Bloom.’

Sweetie Belle gasps again. ‘What did she do?’

‘She is going on a date.’

‘That trai... Wait. Why is that a bad thing?’

Scootaloo blushes. ‘It just is!’ She looks around the room. ‘That is why I called everyone here. We are here to make sure that date doesn’t happen.’

Seated around the clubhouse are several other children. A blonde girl is chatting with a shorter, brown-haired boy. A well-dressed girl with silver glasses and light blue-grey hair looks over at another well-dressed girl with violet and white striped hair. Diamond Tiara scans the clubhouse with a disapproving look on her face.

‘Which one of you decorated this place? I thought one of you knew interior design.’ Diamond Tiara scoffs.

‘That is not important.’ Scootaloo growls. ‘We are here to save Apple Bloom.’

Dinky raises her hand. ‘Why exactly does she need saving?’

‘Have you seen who she is going out with? He is older than all of us combined!’

‘But, isn’t Mr Wanderer like her tutor or something?’ Pipsqueak asks.

‘According to my intelligence, that was only a ploy to trick her into a date.’

Diamond Tiara groans. ‘What intelligence? Sounds like a lack of it to me.’

Silver Spoon giggles at the joke. Scootaloo growls.

‘I heard Twilight talking about it yesterday, and she has much more intelligence than you.’

Diamond Tiara jumps up. ‘Why you..!’

Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara glare and growl at each other. Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon get up to hold their friends back if need be. Both of the quarreling girls snort and turn away.

‘Why don’t you tell us your plan?’ Sweetie Belle says while easing her friend back.

‘Right. Well...’ Scootaloo scans the group. ‘Well, I was hoping for more of you, but this will do.’ She goes to a small chalkboard and starts writing. ‘Me and Sweetie Belle can get Apple Bloom’s plans for the date. We will then be able to covertly follow her all day and make sure that nothing bad happens unless we are the ones causing it. Who is with me?’

The other kids think. Dinky is the first to raise her hand.

‘This sounds fun! Like we’re ninja or something.’

Pipsqueak stares at his friend in shock. ‘Ninja? I thought you liked pirates.’

‘Well, they’re cool too, but ninja are better!’

Pipsqueak moans. ‘I guess I’ll help too, if Dinky is in...’

‘Awesome.’ Scootaloo nods. ‘That is four.’

‘How’d you get four?’ Silver Spoon asks.

‘Well, naturally, Sweetie Belle is in.’

‘I am?!’ Sweetie Belle’s voice cracks at maximum intensity.

‘We’ll help too, right Silver Spoon?’ Diamond Tiara say.

‘We will?!’ Silver Spoon’s voice cracks as bad as Sweetie Belle’s.

‘Of course we will. If it works, it will be all to my brilliance. If it fails, we will be there to laugh in their faces. It will be fun.’

Silver Spoon sighs. ‘Fine...’

‘Great!’ Scootaloo cheers. ‘Sweetie Belle and I will get the information we need and we’ll meet back here tomorrow to plan everything.’

The morning of the big date starts with James up earlier than he normal and exiting The Power Block. He is spruced up and ready for a long day of hanging out with Apple Bloom. Outside the video game store, Applejack stands by her pickup with a nervous Apple Bloom hiding behind her sister. Big Macintosh waits in the truck. James smiles at the guests.

‘You didn’t have to come out here. I wouldn’t have minded the trip to pick the lovely young lady up.’

Apple Bloom squeaks and tries hiding more.

Applejack scowls. ‘Ah jus’ wanted t’ make sure ya didn’ try anything funny.’ She looks away. ‘ ‘Sides, Mac and Ah had business t’ attend t’.’

James tries to make eye contact with Applejack, but she avoids his gaze. He narrows his gaze, causing Applejack to sweat.

‘Is that true, Big Mac?’ James asks.

Big Macintosh sighs. ‘Eeyup.’

James shrugs. ‘At least he can give me a straight answer. Anyway! Where’s the little lady?’

Applejack groans and steps aside. Apple Bloom stares at the ground. She is wearing a shiny, yellow dress and her fanciest bow in her hair. She kicks at the ground a bit as James laughs a little at the scene.

‘You look beautiful.’

Apple Bloom’s cheeks instantly match her hair color. ‘Thanks.’

James bows to Applejack. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse us, I believe the young lady and I have a date.’

James holds out his hand to Apple Bloom. The young girl takes the hand, and the couple walks away together. After a few moments, Applejack gets back in her truck and starts it up.

‘Let’s roll.’

Big Macintosh groans and settles in for the day.

Back in the store, Lucas leans against the counter while he checks recent business emails and invoices on the company Chromebook. Slowly, Rei rises from behind counter.

‘RSI Adventure Team! Move out!’

Lucas screams in surprise and fumbles the Chromebook. His juggling gets out of the control and the computer drops. He dives to the ground to catch it before it falls. He takes a moment to catch his breath before looking back at Rei. The girl looks down at Lucas.

‘Well? You ready?’

‘What the hell are you talking about?’ Lucas asks. ‘I have to run the store while the boss is out.’

‘Whose dad owns the store? You can close for one day.’

‘Geez. You’re as bad as he is. No, Rei.’

Rei growls and hops over the counter. ‘He is going on a date. We need to go on a date to better follow him.’

‘You and I? On a date?’ Winning!

‘It is a fake date as cover for the stakeout.’

Lucas scrambles up and puts the Chromebook away. ‘I would love to go out with you, Rei!’

‘Great! Oh! The others are here!’

‘Others?’

Inkie and Stormy walk up to the store and wave. Rei bounds out and grabs Inkie in a big hug.

‘Wait. Who am I dating again?’ Lucas asks.

At the local bowling alley, James ties his shoes as Apple Bloom returns with a ball. The adult laughs at the girl struggling with an overweight ball before he gets up to find a ball. He returns right as Apple Bloom finishes entering their names. He sets two balls, one for himself and one for Apple Bloom, on the return.

‘AB and Jimmy?’ James says. ‘You know my regular name is shorter than that. Heck. TWP would have worked too.’

Apple Bloom blushes. ‘Ah know. Ah just like this way better.’

James laughs. ‘It’s fine. So... you need bumpers?’

Apple Bloom gasps. ‘Ah never!’ She looks down. ‘Ah ain’t that good, but I was hopin’ ya can give me some pointers.’

‘Uh... Sure?’ James grins to hide his relative lack of skill at the game.
...

Several lanes down from Apple Bloom’s bowling lesson, Twilight is getting one of her own. Her attempt to spy on James was thwarted by pretending to need a bowling lesson from the local expert. She failed to anticipate Allie Way’s determination. Pinkie is enjoying the show. Twilight bowls her ball. It makes it down the lane but only takes out one pin. Twilight growls in frustration. Allie Way nods as she watches Twilight’s form.

‘Twilight, can you tell me what you are thinking when you bowl the ball?’ Allie asks.

Twilight growls. ‘Well, I am trying to figure out the right angular momentum vectors to get a strike.’

Allie shakes her head. ‘First of all, that made no sense to me.’ Twilight growls. ‘Second, you are overthinking. You have to relax more. Just ease into your game.’

‘Relax?! Everything must be done perfectly or else I mess up.’

‘Isn’t that happening anyway?’ Pinkie asks.

Twilight growls at her friend. Allie turns Twilight back to the lane. She goes back to Pinkie and whispers to the other woman. Pinkie gives Allie a confused look.

‘Do you think that will work?’ Pinkie asks.

Allie shrugs. ‘It will clear her head. Better from a friend than a stranger.’

‘Okay. I’ll give it a shot.’

Pinkie gets up and goes over to Twilight. She taps her friend on the shoulder.

Twilight spins around. ‘What!’

Pinkie grabs her friend’s head and gives her a big kiss. After a few seconds, Pinkie backs away. Both women blush a deep red. A small strand of saliva still connects them. Pinkie wipes her mouth and smiles.

‘Feeling more relaxed?’ Pinkie asks.

‘Pinkie... I...’ Twilight stutters.

Allie puts Twilight’s ball in her hands. ‘All right. Now go for it.’

‘Wha? Right. Game.’

Twilight turns around. She fumbles her ball then rolls it down the lane. Twilight’s throw gets a strike. The shock of the strike does little to override the shock from the kiss.

‘Way to go!’ Pinkie cheers.

‘Ha. Knew that would work.’ Allie says. ‘A good shock always clears the mind.’

Twilight turns back to Pinkie and Allie. The other women smile and congratulate her. Twilight glances at Pinkie then turns away and blushes more.
...

On the other side of the bowling alley, another intense bowling experience is underway. In what experts are calling the lowest scoring grudge match, Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara are going all out. Even Pipsqueak is scoring higher than them despite it being his first time bowling. The kids seem to have forgotten their mission to spy on Apple Bloom and are enjoying the game. Silver Spoon sighs as she watches her friend in battle against her rival. Diamond Tiara finishes her turn and gives a smug laugh as she sits back down.

‘Ha! Thirty-six. Better than you.’

Scootaloo growls. ‘I’ll win in the end. You’ll see.’

There is a crash of pins. Dinky cheers and claps.

‘Way to go, Pip! Another strike.’

Pipsqueak blushes and rubs the back of his head. ‘Just lucky, I guess.’

‘The odds of getting such a high score in your first game has to be huge!’ Dinky cheers.

‘It isn’t anything special.’ Pipsqueak looks away.

Pipsqueak looks over at Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara. The two girls are giving him an intense glare. Dinky looks around the group.

‘Where’s Sweetie Belle? It’s her turn.’

‘I think she is using the washroom,’ Silver Spoon replies.

‘Do we wait for her?’ Pipsqueak asks.

‘Silver Spoon! You should take her turn. You should have fun with us, too.’ Dinky cheers.

‘I don’t...’

‘Come on. If Miss Fussy here can play,’ Scootaloo nods toward Diamond Tiara, ‘you can do at least one round.’

Diamond Tiara snorts at Scootaloo then turns to her friend. ‘It is not as pedestrian as it looks.’

Silver Spoon sighs and gets up. ‘Fine.’

Silver Spoon picks up the lightest ball she can find. She carefully gets on the lane so she does not slip. She sighs again and bowls the ball. She walks back to her seat and sits before the ball hits the pins and gets a strike. Everyone stares in shock as Silver Spoon blushes in embarrassment.

‘Don’t look too much into it. My dad used to take me bowling all the time,’ Silver Spoon grumbles.

Sweetie Belle comes back from the washroom. She sees everyone staring at Silver Spoon. She looks around in an attempt to figure out why.

‘Hey. When did I get a strike?’ Sweetie Belle asks.
...

Outside of the bowling alley, Rei is curled in a small ball with her knees up to her face as she pouts. Inkie and Stormy stand by and comfort their friend. Lucas comes out of the building and looks around.

‘There you are. I go to the washroom for one moment, and you disappear. What happened?’

Stormy looks over. ‘Rei got a little taken in by the game and wanted to play too.’

‘And that is a bad thing?’ Lucas asks.

Inkie shakes her head. ‘No, but when she asked for shoes, they suggested she wear a children’s size.

‘Ah!’

Rei chokes back a tear. ‘I hate being so tiny. I’m not a kid.’

‘Want me to get you an ice cream to make you feel better?’ Lucas offers.

‘Can I get every flavor?’ Rei smiles.

Lucas checks his wallet. ‘Only if I can break cover and ask your dad for an advance.’

Rei huffs, ‘I hate you.’

After their bowling games, James and Apple Bloom are getting lunch at the local pizza parlor. They are laughing about their games as they eat. All of the groups watching the date are stationed around the restaurant. None of the groups seem aware of each other.

Applejack looks down at her pizza in disgust. ‘How can they call this food? It ain’t got any apples on it.’

She looks over at her brother. Big Macintosh finishes his slice and starts reaching for another. He stops when he catches Applejack’s glare.

‘Sorry. Were ya gonna eat that?’

Applejack snorts and goes back to finishing her pizza.

A waiter carries two pizzas, one very large, one regular-sized, to a table. He looks over the group of four in front of him.

‘Medium green pepper and tomato?’

‘That’s us.’ Lucas replies.

The waiter sets the pizza in front of Lucas. Stormy and Inkie reach for slices as well.

‘And the extra large with everything on it?’

‘Me!’ Rei cheers.

The waiter sets the pizza near Rei. She pulls it close and starts eating from the whole pie.

Across the restaurant, another pizza is being fought over. While most of the other kids are able to share, Scootaloo’s and Diamond Tiara’s personalities cause them to fight over the last slice. Both girls are pulling the tray with the slice on it back and forth.

‘Give it! I’m still hungry.’ Scootaloo growls.

‘I’m the one who paid for it,’ Diamond Tiara retorts. ‘It it mine.’

‘Mine!’

‘Mine!’

‘Stop it!’ Silver Spoon snaps.

The girls stop fighting. Silver Spoon grabs the tray and pulls it towards her. The sudden change in momentum causes the resting slice to launch into upwards. The group of children watch as the slice flies through the air. Sweetie Belle knows what will happen and ducks under the table. Dinky and Pipsqueak catch Sweetie Belle’s behavior and duck, too. From her hiding spot, Twilight calculates the trajectory of the pizza slice.

‘Oh no.’

Pinkie looks and gasps. The slice flies through the air and hits Apple Bloom in the face before falling into her lap. Apple Bloom stares in shock for a few seconds as she imagines her first date being ruined. She starts crying. James quickly comes around their table and tries to help the crying girl clean up.

‘Come on. It’s okay,’ James tries to calm the girl. ‘Rarity lives near here. We can get you all cleaned up.’

James escorts the sobbing girl out of the restaurant. Instead of following her sister, Applejack gets up and looks for the source of the attack. Given their experience causing trouble, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle try making a hasty exit. Applejack, wise to the ways of the Cutie Mark Crusader, quickly catches the two girls. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon laugh from their table.

‘Big Mac, grab them too,’ Applejack grumbles as she drags Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle out of the restaurant.

The two other girls lets out small ‘eeks’ as the large man picks them up by the collar and carries them out with him. Big Macintosh sets the girls down next to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle where Applejack has them lined up. The woman scowls down at the girls.

‘Now, what in the hay do ya think yer doin’?

Three of the girls look down and kick the ground, but Diamond Tiara remains defiant.

‘I don’t know what you are talking about.’

‘Don’ get sassy with me, little lady. Ya couldn’ have missed mah sister jus’ now. If those two are runnin’, then they were the ones causin’ the trouble, and Ah think Ah know why if y’all are here too.’

‘So? That proves nothing.’ Diamond Tiara glares at the older woman.

‘Are ya takin’ a lip with me?’

The older and younger woman glare at each other.

‘Big Mac, get mah rope.’

‘Wait.’ Silver Spoon speaks up. ‘It was my fault.’

‘Don’t take the blame for something she did.’ Diamond Tiara tells her friend.

‘Me! It was your fault!’ Scootaloo shouts back.

‘Stop fighting!’ Silver Spoon cries. ‘It was my fault. I was trying to stop them from fighting... and it was an accident.’

Applejack frowns but pats the girl on the head. ‘Ah believe ya.’ She looks at the other girls. ‘Y’all better tell Apple Bloom the truth when ya see her next.’

The girls groan and nod.

‘Good.’ Applejack nods. ‘Now behave! Come on, Big Mac.’

Applejack walks away. Big Macintosh looks the girls over before following his sister. The rest of the children run out to see what happened with their friends.

Rarity enters her kitchen where James is waiting for her. She sits at the table with him.

‘I put her dress in the wash,’ Rarity says. ‘She will call me when she is done washing up.’

‘Thanks. Sorry to be a bother like this.’

‘It is no big deal. I am glad to be of service. When I first heard of your little date, it just sounded so adorable!’

James groans. ‘I just hope she is not in a bad mood after this.’

‘I heard her talking with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo about today almost every day since she asked you. I doubt she would be put off so easily.’

‘That is good,’ James sighs. ‘I wouldn’t want Applejack to be mad at me if something bad happened.’

Rarity analyzes James’ face. ‘Are you doing this to make Apple Bloom happy or to impress Applejack?’

James shrugs. ‘Maybe a little of both. You know I have a rough friendship with Applejack already.’

‘Yes. I understand about that.’ Rarity sighs.

The adults sit at the table in silence for a moment.

‘So, do you know who assaulted her with foodstuffs?’ Rarity asks.

James shakes his head. ‘It was an accident, but I would like to leave a note for Stormy and Sweetie Belle if you don’t mind.’

Rarity sighs again. ‘I figured one of the two of them were behind this. ... And by two of them, I mean...’

‘Yes! I know you mean Rei and not Stormy.’ James grumbles.

Rarity giggles and gets up to check on Apple Bloom.

After a shower and a new dress from Rarity, the date resumes. Apple Bloom’s hair shines thanks to treatment from Rarity. The dress was one of Sweetie Belle’s that Rarity modified to fit Apple Bloom. The girl is upset that her dress ruined, but she feels fine since James complimented her new look.

The couple settles in to watch a movie at the local theater. Apple Bloom snacks from a large bucket of popcorn while the theater darkens. With the theater getting dark the various groups watching the couple sneak in. Applejack and Big Macintosh sit at the back of the theater to hide as best they can. Scootaloo’s group splits up and sit around the theater. Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon are confused when Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara insist on sitting near each other. Pinkie enters the theater alone. Twilight refuses to see a kid’s movie and waits outside. Pinkie carries a large tray of snacks with her and settles in for the show. All of the groups are settled and in place when the movie begins.
...

All of the kids in the audience moan when the movie ends. The majority of audience gets up and starts exiting the theater. At the front of the theater, Dinky and Pipsqueak repeat their favorite jokes and laugh as they exit the the theater. In the back, Applejack has a disturbed expression as she looks down at her sister. She is even more upset with the grown man drying tears sitting next to her.

‘Ah don’ get it.’ Applejack complains. ‘How can kids these days enjoy that stuff? Ah hate playin’ the age card, but kids movies were way better when we were kids.’

Big Macintosh sniffs as he dries a tear. ‘But she was reunited with her puppy in the end. Ain’t it sweet?’

Applejack shudders. ‘Why do ya have t’ be such a blubberin’ idiot? This is worse than yer obsession with those cartoon horses.’

Applejack groans and leans forward to watch her sister again. Several rows back from the date, Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon get up from their seats. Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo remain seated.

‘Just the credits left. Come on,’ Silver Spoon says.

‘They’re so boring, and they don’t put anything special at the end,’ Sweetie Belle adds.

‘Fine,’ Scootaloo sighs.

‘Let’s go,’ Diamond Tiara groans.

The two girls get up as start walking in opposite directions. They stop at arms length since they are still holding hands. All four girls blush at the revelation. Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara instantly release and back away.

‘What the heck are you doing, pervert?’ Scootaloo accuses.

‘Me! You are the gross one,’ Diamond Tiara shoots back. ‘I’m going to have scrub my hand to get your gross germs off of it.’

‘You’re the gross one.’

‘You!’

Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara lean in and growl at each other. Their friends sigh and pull them apart. The girls storm out of the theater, with Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara exchanging looks. Back at their seats, James and Apple Bloom are chatting about the movie still. They are still laughing over some of the jokes.

‘I mean, I mean, they were about to do the thing and then...’ Apple Bloom starts.

‘BOOM!’ Pinkie finishes as she pops up behind the couple. ‘It was so funny!’

Pinkie giggles and snorts at the scene she was describing. James turns back to his friend.

‘Pinke? What are you doing here?’

‘Oh! I wanted to see this movie for a while, and I finally had the time.’ Pinkie giggles. ‘It was so funny!’

‘You should have said something. You could have sat with us.’

Pinkie looks away and blushes. ‘Well, uh, I didn’t want to interrupt you two. I mean, you know how bad Twilight gets when we do stuff as a group.’

Apple Bloom looks back at the woman. ‘Ah wouldn’ get mad. Promise. Yer a fun person t’ have around.’ She pokes James. ‘Plus, ya would have laughed more at all the good jokes.’

‘I know! They were so funny!’ Pinkie squeals.

James laughs and sighs as the girls begin talking about the movie together. At the back of the theater, Big Macintosh catches Applejack from charging over the seats to have words with Pinkie.
...

Outside of the theater, the children have regrouped to plan their next move. Twilight is trying to make herself unnoticed, forgetting that her long, purple hair with the bright pink streak is a giveaway. Most of the kids stretch and yawn, but Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara still look determined.

‘Okay. All they have left is dinner, then it is back to her place,’ Scootaloo says. ‘There is still plenty of time for him to do something dastardly.’

‘Are you sure?’ Sweetie Belle asks. ‘He hasn’t done anything yet, and I’m getting tired and hungry.’

‘Yeah. I should really be getting back before my mommy gets worried.’ Dinky says.

‘Of course he hasn’t done anything,’ Scootaloo replies. ‘We’re keeping him in line.’

Sweetie Belle groans. ‘Or it could be because he is a nice guy. I’m going back to Rarity’s to see what she and Stormy are doing.’

Sweetie Belle turns and walks away. Scootaloo clenches her fists and resists shouting at her friend. Pipsqueak starts backing away too.

‘It was real fun, guys! We have to do this again sometime.’

‘Right!’ Dinky cheers. ‘It was great hanging out with all of you.’

Dinky and Pipsqueak walk away together, joking about the day. Scootaloo turns to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

‘Well?’ Scootaloo asks.

‘Well what?’ Diamond Tiara replies.

‘Aren’t you going to tease me? You know, another failed plan. Just call me “stupid” for failing like this.’

Diamond Tiara scoffs. ‘The day isn’t over yet. We still have time to keep them from doing anything.’

‘But, I agree with Sweetie Be....’ Silver Spoon sighs. ‘Fine. I don’t want to leave my friend hanging.’

‘Good. Let’s get ready for the next thing,’ Diamond Tiara says.

Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara walk away, making plans together. Silver Spoon sighs and follows them. Twilight watches the girls walking away. Rei hangs upside down from an awning beside Twilight. She looks at the young girls walking then over at Twilight. Rei pulls herself up before Twilight turns back. Twilight looks around, shrugs and waits for Pinkie to return.

James and Apple Bloom go over their menus. On the recommendation of Rarity, Apple Bloom picked the restaurant said to be the best for first dates. The young girl blushes and hides behind her menu when she sees James look over at her. She has never felt her heart beat faster than it does now. A man selling flowers steps up to the table.

‘Would you like a flower for your date?’ the man asks.

‘Well, Apple Bloom?’ James smiles. ‘See any you like?’

Apple Bloom turns even redder. She looks over the flowers and picks one out. James pays the man, and he moves on to the next table with a couple.

‘Would you like a flower for your date?’

‘What!’ Applejack snaps. ‘This here is mah brother. Y’all have a sick mind.’

Big Macintosh sighs at his sister’s reaction. Applejack glares at the salesman until he leaves to find his next target.

‘Would you like a flower for your date?’

‘Ooo! Ooo! Get me one!’ Pinkie cheers.

Twilight groans. ‘This is not a date. We’re just two friends.’ She looks the vendor over. ‘Besides, you’re doing it wrong.’

‘If this isn’t a date, then how come we kissed already?’

Twilight turns bright red and hides behind her menu. ‘Pinkie... I thought I said we weren’t going to talk about that ever again.’

‘But there is someone new here, thus the definition of “we” changed. Isn’t that right, mister?’

Pinkie smiles at the flower salesman. Twilight glares and growls from behind her menu. The salesman does not want to be part of any argument so he moves on to his next target.

‘Would you like a flower for your date?’

Rei glares. ‘Inkie-chan doesn’t need flowers to know she is special.’

Inkie smiles and gives an embarrassed squeak in thanks. Lucas smiles at Rei.

‘Rei, would you like a flower?’

‘Pfft! That is silly. You’re silly, Lucas.’

Lucas sighs. Stormy laughs.

‘Watch and see how it is done.’ Stormy turns to the salesman. ‘Do you have any chocolates or candy?’

‘I have one box left,’ the salesman replies.

Stormy nods towards Rei. ‘I would like to purchase it for the young lady, if you don’t mind.’

Rei’s eyes go wide and her jaw drops as the salesman hands her a box of candy.

‘I love you more than anyone else in the world. You are the greatest person to ever exist.’

Stormy smiles and shrugs. Inkie giggles at Rei’s reaction. Lucas glares. Rei starts shoveling the candy into her mouth.

‘I am so telling Trixie on you,’ Lucas growls.

‘Whatever.’ Stormy shrugs. ‘If she were here, I’d get her whatever she wanted... barring needing an ID check of course.’

Rei licks her fingers clean and throws away the empty box. ‘Can we get appetizers, Stormy-kun?’

Stormy turns to his menu. ‘Only if it is your money.’

Rei puts on her biggest doe eyes and puffs out her meager chest. ‘Pwease, Stormy-kun?’

‘Your. Money.’

Rei turns to Inkie, who just giggles at the behavior. Before she can turn again, Lucas takes her hand.

‘You can order anything you want! It is on me!’

Rei gets the biggest grin. ‘Good! Then I hope you brought your credit card. Where’s the waiter? I’m ready to order.’

‘You also have to know that she can eat more in one meal than most third world countries do in one month.’ Stormy laughs.

Lucas pales as he sees Rei pointing out that she wants a whole page of the menu as an appetizer.
...

Outside of the restaurant, Scootaloo peeks through a window as she watches Apple Bloom. She sighs and sits down. Beside her, Silver Spoon is huddled up for warmth. Scootaloo sighs again and moves next to the shivering girl. Diamond Tiara is not with them.

‘Thank you,’ Silver Spoon says. She looks at Scootaloo. ‘You really like her, right? Apple Bloom, I mean.’

‘What?’ Scootaloo blushes. ‘Yeah. I guess.’

Silver Spoon nods and looks down the street. ‘It is hard not being able to tell her that, right? It is scary thinking that you could ruin your friendship.’

Scootaloo looks over. ‘Are you trying to say something about yourself there?’

Silver Spoon shakes her head. ‘No. There is someone else I like. I know those worries because it is hard, if not impossible, for me to tell Diamond Tiara “no” most of the time. It is hard telling a friend something uncomfortable like that.’

‘Then why are you telling me?’

‘You like her, too.’ Silver Spoon smiles. ‘Not as much as you like Apple Bloom, but I can tell. I knew before we caught you holding hands earlier.’

‘You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?’

‘I haven’t yet.’ Silver Spoon leans back and a little against Scootaloo. ‘I don’t really care. It is good to see her happy. Not to mention a little relieving for her to have someone else to bother with her problems.’

Silver Spoon yawns and closes her eyes. Scootaloo tries nudging the girl who is now sleeping on her shoulder. She notices Silver Spoon is looking a little flushed and she is breathing quickly. Scootaloo groans. A couple moments later, Diamond Tiara returns. She is holding a bag of fast food and a blanket.

‘Here.’ Diamond Tiara drops the bag in Scootaloo’s hands. ‘I got us a little something. Also, I figured Miss Thin Skin would get cold, so I got this, too.’

Diamond Tiara sits on the other side of Silver Spoon. She puts the blanket over all three of them. Scootaloo gets out some food and hands the bag over.

‘Thanks.’ Scootaloo sighs to herself. ‘I sorta wish the others could see how nice you could be.’

Diamond Tiara blushes. ‘Nice? Me? Well, I guess that will do.’

Scootaloo groans at the response. The two girls eat in relative silence.

‘Damn it!’ Diamond Tiara swears.

‘What?’

‘It is just not fair! Not fair! Why does she get to go on a date first? She is still just a stupid blank flank.’

‘What about all of the times we snuck out together?’

‘That is not a real date. That is just a couple of kids being stupid. How can she be more mature than me? How can she get a date first?’

‘Maybe she isn’t as uptight as you...’

‘At least I don’t look like a boy.’ Diamond Tiara pats her barely budding chest.

‘Shut up.’ Scootaloo growls.

The girls goes back to eating.

‘I bet I can get a date before you.’ Scootaloo mumbles.

‘It is on.’ Diamond Tiara snorts.

The girls laugh and keep eating. Silver Spoon moans and mumbles ‘...umb...’ in her sleep.
...

James and Apple Bloom are splitting a dessert after dinner. The adult is letting the younger girl devour the treat. At another table, Applejack is glaring at the bill. She sets it down and starts getting out money. She gives the bill and money to her brother and gets up.

‘Ya take care o’ the bill. Ah have to use the washroom,’ Applejack grumbles.

Applejack walks away. Big Macintosh sighs and gets up. He takes the bill to the cashier. After paying the bill, he goes outside to wait for his sister. A few seconds later, a small sneeze is heard. Big Macintosh looks over to see the three young girls huddled by the window. He sighs and goes over to the girls.

‘What are y’all still doing here?’ Big Macintosh asks.

Scootaloo is the only one to look up. The other two girls are sleeping. Big Macintosh sighs and shakes his head.

‘Come on. Ah’ll get ya home before y’all get sick.’

Big Macintosh leans down and picks up the two sleeping girls. Scootaloo gets up and takes Diamond Tiara’s hand before escorting her friends away.

Applejack finishes drying her hands and adjusts her hat after coming out of the washroom. Almost immediately, she has an encounter she was not expecting. She tries to make herself unseen as she catches Twilight and Pinkie hatching their next plot.

‘... So all we need to do is ask if we can watch from a closer location.’ Twilight says at the end of a thought.

‘Applejack!’ Pinkie cheers.

‘Right. Like Applejack,’ Twilight nods.

Pinkie spins Twilight around to face an embarrassed Applejack. Applejack puts on a wide grin to try and hide her embarrassment. Twilight smiles and claps her hands together.

‘Ah! AJ!’ Twilight beams. ‘Just the person I wanted to see.’

While Twilight explains her plan to Applejack, several waiters clear the dishes from in front of the teenagers. Rei has a big smile as she finishes eating a slice of cake. Her face is covered in crumbs and other food remains. Stormy laughs as the bill is handed to Lucas.

‘How the hell does he afford to feed you?’ Lucas moans.

Rei smiles. ‘Want to go for ice cream after this?’

A waiter hands Lucas another piece of paper. ‘Another gentleman asked me to deliver this to you.’

Lucas looks at the paper and hands it to Rei. ‘For you.’

Rei takes the paper and unfolds it. She instantly scowls. Inkie takes the paper and giggles.

‘Rei. Go home now. You’re grounded.’ Inkie giggles.

Lucas laughs too.

‘PS: Lucas, you’re fired.’

Lucas stands up and turns toward his employer’s table. ‘OH COME ON!’

James is standing with Apple Bloom outside of her house. Applejack, Twilight and Pinkie ‘covertly’ watch from the house. James glances in their direction before returning his attention to his date. Apple Bloom kicks at the ground a bit while she tries to figure out what to do next. James reaches down and takes the young girl’s hand.

‘I had a really fun day,’ James says.

Apple Bloom looks up. ‘Ah did too. It was a lot o’ fun.’

‘I am glad I gave you a good first date.’

‘Actually...’ Apple Bloom blushes. ‘There is one thing ya can do to make it perfect...’

James smiles. ‘Yes?’

Apple Bloom blushes brighter red. She closes her eyes and leans up for a kiss. James laughs and starts leaning down. In the house, Pinkie holds Twilight from running out while Big Macintosh holds his sister back. James kisses Apple Bloom on the forehead and backs off. The two women in the house ease up. Apple Bloom opens her eyes and stares up at her date.

‘But ya were supposed t’...’

Apple Bloom’s lip start trembling, and she starts tearing up. The two other women and Big Macintosh have to hold Applejack from running out of the house. James crouches down and hugs the upset girl.

‘I know what you were expecting,’ James says. ‘It is not my place to be your first kiss. Trust me. When the time is right and you are with the right person, your first kiss will be wonderful.’

Apple Bloom calms and returns the hug. ‘Thank ya. Yer always lookin’ after me.’ She smiles. ‘It is sorta like yer mah pa the way ya take care of me like ya do.’

‘You’re a special kid. I just don’t want to see you upset.’ James stands up. ‘Come on. Let’s get you inside. I think Applejack would love to hear all about your day.’

James escorts the kid to her house.

Apple Bloom thinks. ‘Ah wish ya could be mah pa or like mah brother... That’d be fun.’

James laughs. Applejack opens the door when the couple reaches it. Apple Bloom looks up and gets a great idea upon seeing her sister.

‘Ah know! Ya should marry Applejack!’ Apple Bloom cheers.

To: Harpflank
From: DashIs1337

That is not what happened! Quit spreading lies like that! I’m going to have to write you another message correcting all of your errors!

Scootaloo posts her comment on the story. She opens up a new window to start writing a strongly-worded letter to this ‘Harpflank’ pony. She is so upset that her little wings are flapping like crazy.

‘Scootaloo! Get your butt in here!’ comes from another room.

Scootaloo growls and closes down her computer.

‘You got lucky.’

Scootaloo growls as she hops from her chair and goes to see what her father wants.

Bonus scene

Author's Note

Story timeline: Apple Bloom's first date. Scootaloo x Diamond Tiara evolves. Silver Spoon x Rumble starts.

Fun fact: How can Big Mac not be a brony? He plays with a Smarty Pants doll for crying out loud!

RSI and the Mystery of Foalsitting

Main Characters: Rei, Stormy, Inkie, Dinky, Pipsqueak, Scootaloo
Cameos: Twilight, Derpy
Original Write Date: June 21, 2012

Derpy rushes around her house, tossing things into a saddlebag. Dinky watches her mother from a couch while Rei enjoys the show from her post at the entryway.

‘Thank you so much for helping at the last moment,’ Derpy says to the older filly. ‘Sparkler is away with friends, and I got called up so suddenly.’

‘No problem!’ Rei cheers. ‘I don’t mind helping any friend of my father.’ She yawns, having already spent the day working for Rainbow Dash’s weather crews.

‘Again, why couldn’t Chief come?’

‘Now that Fluttershy isn’t my mommy anymore, everypony is after him again. He has a date with Twilight tonight.’

‘Lucky him. I have been out in...’ Derpy stops and looks at her daughter.

‘It is okay, mommy.’ Dinky smiles.

Derpy smiles at her daughter then turns to Rei. ‘You know your responsibilities, right? Make sure she gets her homework done. Make sure she gets a good meal. Not too much television or video games. Get her to bed on time.’

‘I got it. No need to worry,’ Rei moans.

Derpy trots over and kisses Dinky on the forehead. ‘You be good for Miss Rei, okay?’

‘You can trust me, mommy.’

Derpy trots to the door. ‘I’ll be back later. If I am too late, you can have Sparkler’s room for the night, Rei.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’

‘Have fun!’

Derpy exits her home and flies away. Rei waves before closing the door and joining Dinky on the couch.

‘So, what video games do you have? Or do you want to watch TV?’

Dinky hops off the couch. ‘No TV until homework is done.’

‘But that is so boring! I wanna watch TV!’

Dinky glares. ‘We only get one hour of TV and only if homework is done.’

Rei moans and follows the young filly as she gets out her homework.

Twilight and Inkie trot out from the laboratory in the library’s basement. The younger mare has a box of plant samples on her back.

‘Thank you for letting me use your lab,’ Inkie says.

‘I don’t mind,’ Twilight replies. ‘Anything to help a fellow scientist.’

‘I’ll keep you informed to my results.’ She laughs. ‘I just hope I don’t burn down the apartments in the process.’

‘Is... that a risk?’

‘I have learned that if my sister or Rei are anywhere near any of my experiments, there is always a risk of fire.’

The older mare groans, ‘I know that too well.’

The ponies reach the door, and Twilight opens it for the encumbered Inkie. On the other side of the door, Scootaloo was about to knock.

‘Oh, hey, Scootaloo,’ Twilight greets. ‘How can I help you?’

‘I am here for my tutoring,’ the filly replies. ‘Is this the right time?’

Twilight thinks for a moment. She gets a panicked look on her face. ‘Oh no! I completely forgot!’

‘Yes! No tutoring.’

‘No! I forgot about my date with James tonight. I need to get ready!’

‘Good luck with that! See ya!’ Scootaloo cheers.

‘I can handle tutoring for you until you get your schedule fixed,’ Inkie offers.

‘Are you sure you can handle it?’

Inkie laughs. ‘Twilight, please. I was top of my class. I think I can handle it.’

‘Thank you so much! Good luck!’

‘Yeah. Thank you, Inkie,’ Scootaloo grumbles.

Twilight shows her guests out of the library as she rushes to get ready. Inkie smiles at the pegasus filly.

‘Let’s head back to my place. We can work there.’

‘Fine.’

‘What do you need help in?’

‘Mostly history and composition. I am okay in maths and science, I guess.’

‘Uh, hmm,’ Inkie laughs nervously. ‘We’ll see what we can do.’

Stormy trots home after a day of helping the Cakes fill an order. He is tired of baking. He just wants to return his mom’s notebooks to his room, then go out for the fanciest dinner he can afford.

He stops for a long sigh and deep breath. In that moment, his unicorn senses tell him somepony is behind him. He spins around and looks for his stalker. Nopony. He snorts and turns back to his path.

‘Looking for me?’ a Trottingham accent asks.

Stormy freezes. He looks around. ‘Oh dear Sagan. All that time around Rei has caused me to hear voices now.’

‘Down here, idiot.’

Stormy looks down to see a small pinto earth pony staring up at him.

‘Phew. You had me worried for a moment. Well, see ya.’

Stormy trots away. Pipsqueak snorts and gallops after the unicorn.

‘Wait up. I don’t have as long legs as you.’

The older pony stops and groans. ‘Kid, what do you want?’

‘I, uh, wanted to, uh, hang out if that is okay.’

‘With me? Are you on drugs and/or a NARC?’

‘Um, well, you see...’

Stormy groans again. ‘Whatever. I was just going to dinner. You can tag along, I guess.’

‘Thank you, Mr Stormy!’

‘Whatever, pipsqueak.’

‘Whoa! You must be smart if you knew my name already.’

‘That is your name? Seriously?’

‘Sure is!’

‘Ugh. This is going to be a long night.’

Inkie flips through Scootaloo’s textbook while the filly works on her composition assignment. They are working on the floor of Inkie’s still-bare apartment.

‘I really don’t understand the names of the ancient unicorn royalty,’ the tutor complains. ‘Princess Platinum? Sapphire Ruby? King Gold the Shiny? So pretentious.’

‘Yeah. Not as cool as Commander Hurricane or Marshal Typhoon.’

‘Actually, they just chose boring elements for names. Not even the most valuable ones.’ Inkie giggles. ‘I once came up with a Prince Rubidium. Do you want to see my anatomically correct sketches of him?’

Scootaloo cringes. ‘Uh... No thanks.’

The older filly sighs. ‘So... How much of your history do you know?’

‘I don’t know. Mostly pegasus stuff. My dad made sure I knew all about it.’

‘Hmm...’ Inkie sets down the book. ‘How about you study while I check your writing?

Scootaloo sighs and slides her paper over. Inkie stares at the paper. She bites her lips and thinks. She gets up and goes to a makeshift kitchen.

‘Hey! How about I make us some dinner while you study?’

Rei rests her head on Derpy’s table. Dinky happily works on her homework beside the moping pegasus. She sets her quill down and levitates her paper over.

‘Miss Rei, can you check my work?’

Rei scans the paper. ‘Looks good, D-chan.’

‘Great! I’m all done now.’

‘Finally! We can catch the end of the afternoon cartoons.’

‘Are you sure you want to use all of your TV time on cartoons?’

‘But, it is cartoons.’

‘Oh, Rei. You are such a silly filly.’

Rei’s stomach growls. Dinky sighs and shakes her head.

‘Rei, are you hungry?’

The pegasus groans. ‘That is like asking if water is wet.’

‘Do you want to make dinner now or watch cartoons?’

Rei looks from the living room to the kitchen. She lets out a high-pitched whine. ‘Can’t we watch television while cooking like mommy used to do with me?’

‘But this is you and me, Rei. Not you and Fluttershy. Do you want my mommy to think you are not being responsible?’

Rei snorts. ‘Let’s make you the bestestest dinner ever!’

The pegasus stands and marches to the kitchen. Dinky groans and follows.

This is not the dinner Stormy hoped for. Instead of going to Ponyville’s finest restaurant, with plates costing up to thirty bits each, he and Pipsqueak are at a diner, looking at a thirty-bit meal. They have both ordered, and their server has just left a large basket of chips and drinks for them. The young colt starts digging in while the young unicorn calmly snacks.

‘So, kid, what did you want to talk to me about?’ Stormy asks.

Pipsqueak finishes his mouthful of chips and takes a breath. ‘To be honest, you weren’t my first choice to ask.’

‘Oh?’

‘I tried talking with my father, but he is a little intimidating.’

‘I know that feeling,’ Stormy groans.

‘I tried asking other older colts, but you were the first that didn’t laugh in my face.’

‘I’m surprised you found others you could look in the face.’ Before Pipsqueak can correct him, Stormy sighs, ‘Other colts my age can be total jerks somet... often.’

‘Right...’

‘Still haven’t heard what you wanted to ask.’

Pipsqueak summons all the courage he can muster. ‘How do you get the filly you like to notice you?’

Stormy sits back and thinks. ‘You know. I have no clue. Trixie and I were forced together, and that is how we bonded. Before her, I pined after Rei. I have no idea if she ever noticed me until we were in Rarity’s class together. Sorry, kid.’

‘Thanks anyway, Mr Stormy,’ the young colt sighs.

‘Do you really like her?’

‘I guess. She was my first friend when I moved to Ponyville.’

‘When you pick partners at school, do you ask her?’

‘Only if she doesn’t ask me first.’

‘Do you spend a lot of time together?’

‘Loads! We do almost everything together. She even had me over at her house for a sleepover.’

‘Then I hate to tell ya, buddy, but I think she likes you already.’

‘Really?!’ Pipsqueaks voice cracks.

Stormy nods. ‘Uh huh. You just have to tell her. Make her a giant card for Hearts and Hooves Day or get her a nice Hearths Warming gift. Let something else do the talking if the words get stuck in your throat.’

The young colt nods excitedly. ‘Right. Thank you.’

‘Also, if Rarity offers her class again, sign up. Trust me. It does wonders.’

‘Doesn’t that mean she will teach me to be a lady?’

Stormy growls. ‘She teaches more than that.’

Pipsqueak laughs. The waiter returns with the meals, ending the conversation for now.

Rei and Dinky sit down to Dinky’s first meal without muffins in months. They both have large salads to start and an array of dishes Rei made for them.

‘Itadakimasu!’ Rei cheers, with Dinky trying to mimic her foalsitter.

Rei buries her muzzle in her bowl. Dinky uses her magic to lift a fork and eat.

‘Um, Miss Rei...’

‘Yes?’ Rei replies without looking up.

‘Um... How do you tell somepony you like him?’

Rei looks up, lettuce, tomatoes and dressing on her face. An onion slice hangs from an ear. She finishes her mouthful before going back down. ‘Lick his horn.’

‘But, he is not an unicorn.’

‘Trust me. He has a horn.’ Rei shudders as she remembers Rarity’s videos. ‘They all do.’

‘Oh! You mean a pe...’

‘Don’t say it!’

Dinky giggles. ‘Rei is shy about sex.’

Rei blushes. ‘Am not! I am just, uh, not as obsessed with it as most ponies are.’

The young filly giggles again, and both ponies go back to their meal.

‘Miss Rei...’

‘Yeah?’

Dinky takes a big breath. ‘Your daddy is an earth pony. Was your mommy, your real mommy, a pegasus like you?’

‘Why do you ask?’

‘Me and my sister are both unicorns, but our mommy is a pegasus. I am just trying to figure out if our daddy was a unicorn, too.’

‘I would think he would be an unicorn. Pony genetics don’t really allow for much tampering. It is highly unlikely that your father was an earth pony or pegasus.’

‘Oh. Okay.’

‘Do you miss your dad?’

‘I guess. I don’t know. I don’t know much about him, and mommy and Sparkler don’t talk about him much.’

‘Maybe you can ask my daddy or The Doctor to take you to meet him. They are always going on adventures like that.’

‘I could try asking them...’

‘Hey, wanna know a secret?’

‘Sure!’

‘It is a really big secret. If you tell anypony, and I will know if you told, I will do really bad things to you.’

‘I swear I won’t tell anypony. I Pinkie Pie swear!’

Rei looks around and leans over. She whispers, ‘My real mommy is Luna.’

Dinky gasps, ‘That is so cool!’

‘I know, right?’

The two fillies giggle at the secret and go back to their meal.

Having given up on studying and making dinner, Inkie and Scootaloo play video games while eating the pizza they ordered. Inkie growls and sets down the controller.

‘Damn it!’

‘This is much better than playing against Mr Wanderer and Rei.’

‘Ugh. They are too good.’

Scootaloo sets down her controller. She looks at her books. ‘So, uh...’

‘History is just memorization. Don’t worry about it.’

‘What about my writing?’

‘Looks fine to me. Just run it through your spell check when you get home.’

‘Oh. Okay. What now?’

Inkie shrugs. ‘We can play games until you want to go home.’

‘Sounds fun.’

The fillies pick up their controllers again. They play in silence for a bit.

‘Um... You’re dating Rei, right?’

‘Hmm... Not really dating, but we did confess to each other,’ she giggles. ‘It was really sweet.’

‘Sounds... good.’ Scootaloo thinks for a bit. ‘Was she the only pony you liked?’

‘Pretty much. I was somewhat introverted when in school. When I saw her on the cruise...’ She blushes. ‘I didn’t think love at first sight was possible.’

‘Don’t tell anypony I got all mushy, but that is a really sweet story.’

‘What about you? Is there somepony you have a crush on?’

Scootaloo blushes. ‘Sorta... I like Apple Bloom, but I did spend a lot of time with Diamond Tiara. I think Featherweight might like me, too.’

‘Scootaloo the Heartbreaker,’ Inkie laughs. ‘Either you are taking after Rainbow Dash or you caught whatever it is that Mr Wanderer and Rei give off.’

The young pegasus groans. ‘Why can’t having a special somepony be simple?’

‘You know, I found this one book while I was living with Twilight. It had a recipe for a love potion...’

‘NO! Trust me on that.’

Inkie giggles and goes back to the game.

Rei happily trots to the living room after the large meal. Dinky drags herself behind, having overeaten to try and impress her foalsitter. The older filly plops on the couch.

‘Okay! TV time! What do you want to watch?’

‘Um, what do you want to watch? I usually watch what mommy puts on.’

Rei thinks. ‘Nothing good on tonight... Good thing I brought some anime with me!’

The pegasus retrieves her saddlebag. She pours out the contents, a number of DVD cases and manga graphic novels. Dinky levitates a graphic novel while Rei digs through the DVDs.

‘So what do you like? Yuri? Joso? Mahou bishoujo? Giant mecha?’

‘Um... I don’t really...’ Dinky opens the comic and shrieks at what she sees.

‘So no joso...’

Rei digs through her DVDs more. Dinky hesitantly lifts another graphic novel. She peeks inside and gasps.

‘Yeah. Kantoku is a great artist.’

Dinky nods and blushes as she flips through the book.

Rei holds up a DVD. ‘Here we go!’

Dinky does not respond. Rei gets up and peeks over the unicorn’s shoulder. She giggles at what Dinky is staring at.

‘You know, I had a tartan skirt with my last school uniform.’

Dinky squeaks in surprise as she drops the book. Her horn maintains a faint glow. ‘R-r-really?’

‘Yep. If I still had it, it might fit you.’ Rei scowls. ‘Everything I had might fit you.’

The embarrassed filly glances at the dropped book. ‘W-what show did you pick?’

‘Well, since you liked those skirts,’ -- Dinky blushes -- ‘how about some Shugo Chara?’

‘O-okay.’

Rei giggles. ‘Don’t worry. You’ll love it.’ She puts the disc in the player and sits next to the other filly. ‘Maybe we can get Rarity to make us some skirts like in the show.’

Dinky blushes more and nods.

‘Don’t worry, mom. I’m on my way.’ Scootaloo hangs up her mobile. ‘Sorry, Inkie. I gotta go.’

‘That’s fine,’ the young mare replies. ‘I had fun tonight.’

‘Me too, I guess. Didn’t get much studying done.’

Inkie laughs nervously. ‘I guess I am not as strict a taskmaster as Twilight Sparkle.’

‘Nah. It’s cool. Mom’s had more time for me since my dad left. I can get some extra help from her.’

‘That’s good.’

Scootaloo picks up her saddlebag and heads to the door. She stops and looks back. Inkie is cleaning her apartment.

‘Um, Miss Inkie.’

‘Yes?’

‘If you want to hang out like this again or if you just want to come over for dinner or something...’

‘You’re a fun kid, Scootaloo. I’d love to be your friend.’

‘Thanks! Awesome! Uh, see ya around!’

Scootaloo gallops out of the apartment. Inkie laughs and returns to her cleaning.

Stormy trots with Pipsqueak down a well-lit street. The young colt looks even smaller next to the tall and slender young stallion.

‘Listen, Pip...’

‘Yes, Mr Stormy?’

‘I am sure you heard this a million times, but a little confidence goes a long way. If you ever need a boost before talking to the filly you like, I don’t mind helping you out.’

‘Thank you, Mr Stormy!’

‘Also, come by the shop sometime. I’ll have Rarity give you a discount on a suit. You could look very dapper.’

‘Great! Thank you again!’

They stop in front of a house. Pipsqueak starts heading towards his home.

‘Pip,’ Stormy calls. ‘Keep me informed of this filly you like. I hope everything works out.’

‘Will do! We’ll have to chat again sometime!’

Stormy nods and waves before trotting away.

Derpy looks in on a pony sleeping in a bed. She smiles and closes the door on the sleeping filly.

‘She really wiped herself out, huh?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I am glad nothing went wrong while I was out.’

‘Uh huh.’

‘I’ll call Chief and tell him that Rei is sleeping over.’

‘Okay, mommy.’

Derpy escorts her daughter to her room and tucks the young filly into bed. She leans in and kisses her daughter on the forehead. She trots out of the room and turns off the lights.

‘Mommy?’

‘Yes, Dinky?’

‘Can you get Rei to foalsit me more often? She is really fun.’

‘I’ll see what I can do.’

Dinky smiles. ‘Goodnight, mommy.’

‘Goodnight, my little muffin.’

Derpy closes the door and trots to her room. As soon as she is sure her mom is gone, Dinky pulls one of Rei’s comics from under her covers. Her tiny horn gets a slight glow.

Author's Note

Story Timeline: Rei befriends Dinky. Stormy starts helping Pipsqueak woo Dinky. Inkie befriends Scootaloo. First chapter not to feature TWP in the slightest.

TWP Timeline: TWP starts seeing other ponies besides Fluttershy again.

Fun fact: If you want or have a tarten skirt moe, look up the artist Kantoku. If they cross Kantoku with MLP... *passes out with nosebleed thinking of Twilight Sparkle*

Human Twilight Sparkle [non-past simple verb] X

Characters (Human): TWP, Twilight, Pinkie, Lucas
Characters (Pony): TWP, Twilight, Lyra, Spike, Luna
Original Write Date: October 29, 2012

Princess Twilight Sparkle wakes up bright and early on a warm and perfect summer’s day. She stretches her arms before getting out of bed. She goes to a nearby mirror and starts brushing her hair and getting ready for the day.

Princess Twilight Sparkle is easily the most beautiful of all human women. She is the perfect height. Her body shape is perfect and her musculature is toned to perfection. To top it all off, her human mammaries are the perfect size and shape. She is undoubtedly the best princess since her mentor, Princess Celestia. Her beloved boyfriend James loves her the most and not anyone else.

With her morning grooming complete, Princess Twilight Sparkle dresses herself in an outfit she has planned out months prior, because you can never be too prepared and a little planning goes a long way. Her lovely lavender blouse shows off what she has perfectly. Her tight-fitting jeans accentuate her perfect human plot quite nicely, too. One quick pose that Princess Twilight Sparkle’s friend Rarity wishes she could do in a million years, and Princess Twilight Sparkle is ready to hit the town for a day of fun with her beloved boyfriend James.

Princess Twilight Sparkle leaves her room so she can leave her home in the Golden Oaks Library when she is confronted by her best friend Pinkie Pie. Unlike Princess Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie is less attractive and definitely nowhere near as intelligent and graceful. Pinkie Pie has smaller human mammaries and a much wider human plot. Princess Twilight Sparkle waves and comes down the stairs to meet her pudgy friend. She tosses a strand of her perfect mane over her shoulder as she greets Pinkie Pie.

‘Good morning, Pinkie Pie,’ Princess Twilight Sparkle greets with a cheerful smile. ‘How may I help you?’

‘Good morning, bestest buddy in the whole wide world who I do not wish to copulate with Princess Twilight Sparkle!’ the needlessly energetic Pinkie Pie replies. ‘I am just here to wish you a good morning and to tell you that I am extremely jealous that you have the bestest coltfriend ever and I would never do anything to try and steal him from you despite the fact that I claim to love him as well.’

‘Why thank you, Pinkie Pie.’ Princess Twilight Sparkle replies, her magnanimous nature showing. ‘You know exactly what to say to brighten my day.’

‘Anything for The Wondrous and Gracious Princess Twilight Sparkle,’ Pinkie Pie says while bowing all the way to the floor. ‘I could never do anything that would make you upset. You are far too precious to me to ever want to do something idiotically stupid or random.’

‘You are a good friend, Pinkie Pie.’ Princess Twilight Sparkle says, her perfect smile returning. ‘I must now be off to see my boyfriend so we may engage in couply activities together.’

‘Of course, Princess Twilight Sparkle,’ Pinkie Pie says. ‘Please take your leave to be with your boyfriend, who means nothing to me other than a good friendship.’

Princess Twilight Sparkle smiles and pats Pinkie Pie’s head with her human hand before leaving Golden Oaks Library. The most wonderful librarian in the world is greeted outside by a perfectly sunny day brought about by the grace of Princess Celestia and not because physics says that that thermonuclear reaction caused by the fusion of hydrogen atoms into helium and then into heavier atoms produces excess light and heat that warms the planet causing natural weather patterns aided by planetary rotation. While that is a viable theory with well-grounded and fact-based evidence, Princess Twilight Sparkle chooses to believe what she always believed despite her amazingly wonderful and perfect coltfriend convincing her otherwise. Not that Princess Twilight Sparkle does not believe in the divinity of Princess Celestia anymore or anything, it is just that science-based evidence is starting to get overwhelming. But back to the real story. [See attached notes for further discussion.]

Princess Twilight Sparkle walks through town, greeting everyone she meets. Everyone in town loves Princess Twilight Sparkle since she saved them from countless atrocities from Nightmare Moon’s return to the time that Pinkie Pie, and only Pinkie Pie, upset Tsukiyo Rei, Princess Twilight Sparkle’s boyfriend’s James’ adopted daughter who is really his daughter from an alternate universe, causing the distraught young girl to lash out violently at everyone she encountered, except for Princess Twilight Sparkle who the girl loves like a mother. Princess Twilight Sparkle loves her adopted town. She would do everything to make it better if she were elected mayor. The town would be running at peak efficiency. But Princess Twilight Sparkle has other duties to attend to this fine day.

Princess Twilight Sparkle passes through the market on her way to meet her boyfriend James. Along the way, she notices her friend Applejack working at her apple stall. The two friends smile and wave at each other. It is a well-known secret that Applejack has a crush on Princess Twilight Sparkle’s coltfriend, but the farmer’s overly-muscular body overpowers any femininity she might have long since lost. Princess Twilight Sparkle has never caught herself wishing she had as well-toned a human plot as Applejack’s. After the brief exchange, the two friends continue about the business, Applejack doing her best, but failing, to hide her obvious jealousy.

Princess Twilight Sparkle arrives at her boyfriend James’ shop, The Power Block, slightly ahead of schedule. She plans to factor her walking speed into her next planned trip across town. The lovely woman enters the store and is greeted by James’ lowly assistant Lucas Grainsborough.

‘Good morning, Princess Twilight Sparkle,’ Lucas greets. ‘My boss, who I may have a secret crush on, is still upstairs in bed. Please go up and fetch him since you are the only one he ever wishes to see in the morning, definitely not Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy or any of the other women who claim to love him as much as you so obviously do.’

‘Thank you, Lucas,’ Princess Twilight Sparkle replies with a smile. ‘You are a very loyal assistant. If only you were as loyal as my best friend Spike, then you might be a truly worthy assistant to my beloved James.’

‘Nopony can be as good of an assistant as Spike!’ Lucas gasps.

Princess Twilight Sparkle laughs loudly at the obvious statement. She finishes laughing as she reaches the stairs to James’ home above his shop. Princess Twilight Sparkle makes her way through the small home to her beloved boyfriend’s room. The most handsome and intelligent and definitely beardless man sleeps in his bed. Princess Twilight Sparkle sighs happily knowing she has made the perfect choice in partners, thus proving her perfection further. She climbs atop her prone lover and gives him a gentle kiss on the lips. James stirs and looks up at Princess Twilight Sparkle’s perfection.

‘Good morning, James,’ Princess Twilight Sparkle coos.

‘Good morning, Princess Twilight Sparkle,’ James replies. ‘You are the only woman I could ever love.’

Princess Twilight Sparkle smiles and kisses James again.

And then they engaged in human mating practices.

‘Well? What do you think?’ Twilight asks, a wide grin covering her face.

Lyra stares at the copy of the story in her hooves. Beside her, James is going through Twilight’s attached notes, correcting the science.

‘Well, it’s a thing,’ Lyra says, flipping through the few pages of writing.

‘What does that mean?’

‘Um, well, you mess up human anatomy and terminology on occasion. You have a giant, rambling rant in the middle. And I really don’t think you want your friends to see this.’

‘Why is that?’ Twilight snorts.

‘Applejack would have knocked you unconscious for what you said about her,’ James replies while editing, ‘and Pinkie might never speak to you again. Also, Lucas is straight.’

‘Well, they are smart enough to know that it is parody,’ Twilight retorts, secretly doubting her retort.

‘You also describe yourself a little too, uh...’ Lyra fumbles.

‘Perfect,’ James finishes.

Twilight growls and uses her magic to snatch the stories from her friends. ‘Fine! You don’t like them! It was only a first attempt anyway!’

‘I could give you some pointers,’ Lyra offers. ‘You are a very well-read pony. You could, theoretically, write a good story.’

‘According to her story, Celestia only theoretically controls the sun,’ James adds. He smiles at Twilight. ‘Glad to see you saw the light. … Pun intended.’

Twilight imagines the horrors she is about to put her coltfriend through. She shoves the story into Spike’s hands. ‘Get rid of these.’

‘Can do! But I did really liked the parts about me.’ Spike breathes his fire on the papers.

Twilight stamps her hooves and turns away from the others.

‘Was that magic fire or burning fire?’ Lyra asks.

Twilight’s eyes go wide and she turns to Spike.

‘Uh...’ The dragon starts looking for an escape. Suddenly, he burps out a scroll. ‘Oh, uh, mail! It is from... Princess Luna?’

Twilight shudders. ‘What does is say?’

Spike unrolls the scroll and starts reading monotonously, ‘BwahahahahHAhaHahahahAHA! HAHAHahahahahahahaHAHAHAhahaHahahA!’ He turns the scroll over. ‘HahahahaHahahHAHAhahahHAahHAHahaha...’

Twilight rips the scroll from Spikes hands. Her anger is boiling over and her mane is starting to sprout flames.

‘Uh... I know a good planet a few galaxies down where we might be safe,’ James suggests. ‘Might.’

The two ponies and dragon take off running right as Twilight releases her anger.

‘BU...’
…

From her balcony in Canterlot, Luna rolls on the ground laughing. A large column of flame can be seen shooting from Ponyville as the first sounds of Twilight’s scream reaches the capital.

Author's Note

Fun Fact: Twilight's segment of the story is approximately 1k words, or the minimum length to get posted on this site.

Goodbye, Mr Wanderer

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight
Cameos: Everyone else
Original Start Date: June 18, 2013

Town hall is chaotic. Friends and family of The Wandering Physicist and Princess Twilight Sparkle gather for the couple’s wedding. Planners run around making sure everything is perfect. Unfortunately for one of the florists, he is in the clutches of the groom. Literally.

James holds the planner by the collar. ‘What do you mean you can’t fix it?’

‘I-I-I’m sorry,’ the scared man stammers. ‘You’re asking me to make cuts and arrangements I have never heard of before.’

The groom growls and lifts the other man up. A hand is placed on his shoulder.

‘Boss, calm down,’ Lucas sighs. ‘The flowers are beautiful. Twilight will love them.’

James growls again. He gets out his mobile and presses a button. He and the florist disappear. He returns a second later with a Daisy from the Flower Trio.

‘Can you fix this?’

Daisy looks at the arrangement and sighs. ‘Give me a moment.’

The woman starts working with the flowers. Lucas groans and grabs his friend’s arm.

‘Come on. Let’s go get dressed,’ the young man suggests.

James takes a breath and leaves to get ready.

Del runs through the halls. She is so excited to see all the people coming to the wedding. She is looking at everything and meeting everyone. She passes an open door and immediately turns back. The young girl stares into the room, drooling. The room is filled with food for the reception including cakes from the Cakes, pies from Applejack and loads of pastries from Stormy. A man in a dark blue Lunar Guard dress uniform steps in front of the doorway.

‘I cannot let you enter,’ Sunshine states, frowning down at the girl. ‘Please go to the main hall and wait until after the wedding.’

Del stares past the man at the food.

Sunshine clears his throat. ‘Miss Del, please. I believe your sister is looking for you.’

Del looks up, down the hall and back at Sunshine. She quickly ducks around the man, steals a melon bread and runs away with the treat in her mouth. Sunshine continues to guard the room and sighs.

Rarity helps her friends with their specially-designed dresses. Pinkie and Fluttershy are already fitted, and the designer is helping Applejack. Both grunt as Rarity pulls it tight around Applejack’s stomach.

‘My word, Darling. Have you put on weight?’ Rarity asks.

‘Rarity!’ Applejack gasps. ‘Why the heck would ya ask that?’

‘Sorry, dear, but your dress is fitting a little tighter than when we I measured it for you.’

The stronger woman glares down.

‘Or it could just be my imagination,’ Rarity dodges.

Fluttershy giggles.

‘Well, you have been eating more, Applejack,’ Pinkie points out. ‘I’ve definitely seen you snacking more when you are working at the stall.’

‘Y’all sayin’ Ah snack more is like an ocean callin’ a lake wide,’ Applejack snorts. ‘Sides, it is summer, so o' course Ah need t’ keep mah energy up.’

‘Maybe it has to do with why she is seeing Sunshine so much more,’ Rainbow Dash teases as she enters. ‘Will we be attending your wedding next?’

‘What do y’all mean by that!’

‘Ah, just teasing ya,’ Dash laughs. ‘Is it my turn yet? I want to get it over with before...’

‘RARITY!’

‘Never mind...’

Twilight rushes into the room. ‘We are scheduled to begin the ceremony in two hours! I need my dress now, and I have to keep avoiding James because of that silly superstition which will destroy our chances at a happy future, and I still need to talk to Celestia about our vows, and I am pretty sure I just saw Chrysalis hitting on my brother again, and...’

Pinkie shoves a cookie in Twilight’s mouth and rubs her friend’s stomach. ‘There, there. It will all be fine. We have plenty of time to get ready. How about I get Celestia for you while you get dressed?’

Twilight nods with the cookie in her mouth.

Applejack steps off a stand. ‘Ah’ll check on yer brother and make sure James ain’t ‘bout.’

‘Ya don’t have to worry about him,’ Dash replies. ‘Lucas and Stormy dragged him to the guy’s dressing room after he started yelling at a caterer for having the wrong shape ice cubes.’

‘My word!’ Fluttershy gasps.

Twilight stares at her friend. ‘Were they the wrong shape?’

Rarity helps her friend to the stand. ‘You two are made for each other, Darling. Perfectly made for each other.’

The designer starts undressing her friend before Twilight can run off to check on the preparations.

Stormy leans against the door in another dressing room while he plays with his mobile. Lucas helps James finish dressing. Rei giggles at her father’s cleaned-up appearance.

‘Looking sharp, me,’ Discord compliments.

‘Thanks, me,’ James replies.

‘Can you stop doing that?’ Lucas asks. ‘It wasn’t clever the first time.’

‘You’re fired,’ Discord says.

‘You heard your boss,’ James adds.

Lucas groans.

James adjusts his tie. ‘Actually, there is something I have been meaning to tell you about the shop... Rei, this concerns you, too.’

‘What is it, daddy?’ the young woman asks.

James takes a deep breath and turns to his daughter and friend. ‘Twilight and I are planning on being away for a while on our honeymoon, even by time traveler standards. I want you two to run the shop while I’m gone. I’ve left the paperwork in my office.’

‘Daddy...’

‘Boss...’

‘Don’t think it is even. Rei gets the residence and sixty percent of the shop. Lucas gets the rest and all the managerial duties. I just want to make sure my daughters have a place to call their own.’

Rei hugs her father. ‘We’ll take good care of it for you.’

‘Thanks, Boss.’

James shakes the other man’s hand then gets a letter out of his jacket. ‘And Stormy, this is for you.’

The young man takes the letter and opens it. His jaw drops, and he stares in shock. ‘Dude...’

‘Yeah... About ten minutes after seeing her darling son Strawberry, she got a visit from her beloved Mr Strawberry. I told her all about you and Trixie and everything.’

‘What’s it say?’ Rei asks.

Stormy smiles. ‘She is giving me permission to drop out of school and marry Trixie.’

‘It is binding too. Rarity shouldn’t be able to argue with it,’ James adds.

Stormy comes over and hugs James. ‘Thank you so very much.’

‘Do I get anything?’ Discord asks.

‘I’m marrying Twilight. What more could you want?’

‘Tru-che.’

A loud whooshing sound fills the room. A blue box materializes.

‘Not to mention, the last time you were at a wedding...’ The Doctor begins. ‘Well, I’d rather not think about it.’

‘Bite me, Theta,’ Discord snorts.

‘Ditto,’ Rei adds.

‘Nice of you to make it,’ James says.

‘Yes, sorry I’m late,’ The Doctor apologizes, adjusting his bow tie. ‘I had some business to take care of. Think of it as a wedding present to the happy couple. Speaking of, where’s the wife?’

James smirks. ‘Actually, you are right on time.’

‘You gave me the wrong time to get me to show up on time.’ The Doctor waves a finger at his friend. ‘You darn physicists...’

James laughs. ‘You were always so easy, Theta.’

The Time Lords laugh and catch up while they wait.

Guests gather in the hall as the wedding is about to begin. Octavia and her ensemble play a soothing melody. Del sits in the front row with Chrysalis, who is in her Full Moon disguise. The idol licks her lips at all the love around her. She looks across the aisle at Twilight’s family. Twilight Velvet smiles proudly while her son is overcome by liquid pride. Princess Cadence comforts Shining. Princess Luna rolls her eyes at the blubbering prince, getting a laugh from Cloudchaser. Daring Do sits in the back and shares stories with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and their friends while they wait. Dinky and Pipsqueak stare at the woman in awe until Derpy calls them to their seats. The remaining guests get seated as Princess Celestia takes a position at the end of the hall. While everyone is settling, a young man with messy green hair and a boy with yellow and red hair slip into a couple empty seats in the back.

Octavia changes the music as the groom’s party enters the hall. James’ friends take pictures as they walk forward. Inkie giggles as Rei waves to everyone. Trixie and Sweetie Belle swoon as Stormy passes in his tuxedo. Mimi giggles at Lucas’ awkwardness. Discord smiles and winks at Celestia once the group is in position. Del stares in awe at her father.

The music shifts again as the bridesmaids enter the hall. The guests ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ at their individualized dresses. Applejack blushes and tries to adjust an absent hat when she passes Sunshine. Spike nearly faints at the sight of Rarity in her dress. The ladies take their position at the altar after Pinkie hugs James.

The wedding march plays, and everyone rises as Twilight Sparkle enters the hall with her father. The bride gracefully makes her way to the altar. She gives her father a kiss before he takes his seat. Twilight and James take each others’ hands and exchange smiles.

Princess Celestia steps forward to begin her sermon. ‘Ladies and gentlemens, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Princess Twilight Sparkle and James Wanderer. The strength of their commitment is clear. The power of their love, undeniable. …’
…

‘... May we have the rings please?’ -- Pinkie gives a ring to Twilight. Rei gives one to her father. The couple exchange the rings. -- ‘I now pronounce you man and wife.’

James and Twilight exchange their first kiss as husband and wife. The crowd cheers the happy couple. Rei turns and hugs Stormy to hide her tears of joy. Twilight’s friends comfort each other. The couple break the kiss and smile.

‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ Celestia declares, ‘for the first time, I give you James Wan-’

James stops the princess and shakes his head.

‘Right. Sorry. I mean, I give you Twilight and James Sparkle.’

The crowd applauds the couple again as they make their way down the aisle together.

At the reception, the happy couple celebrates with their friends and family. Everybody comes by James and Twilight talk to them. Luna wishes the couple well before going back to the party. Applejack brings the couple a slice of one of her pies.

‘Congratulations,’ Applejack says. ‘Ah’m so happy fer the two o’ ya.’

‘Thank you, Applejack,’ James replies.

‘I saw the way Sunshine was admiring your dress,’ Twilight notes. ‘You might have to ask Rarity to use that at the basis for your wedding dress.’

The other woman blushes. ‘Ah don’ know. Maybe.’

‘You okay, Applejack?’ James asks. ‘You seem a little emotional.’

‘Nah. It’s nothin’...’

‘The one that got away?’ Twilight huffs.

Applejack shakes her head. ‘Just happy fer two o’ mah best friends.’ She laughs. ‘By the way, Ah tried gettin’ some o’ them oranges ya got fer me, but Ah couldn’t find any.’

‘Oranges?’

‘She means the satsumas I gave her for Hearths Warming,’ James explains. ‘I think she has a taste for them now.’

Applejack blushes again. ‘Ah might... Ah’ve been thinkin’ o’ plantin’ some on the farm.’

James laughs. ‘I knew you’d love them. I’ll give you a hand with planting. Maybe give some tips on cultivating.’

‘Thank ya, but Ah think Ah can handle raising them mahself.’

‘I am sure you can.’

‘Anyway! Ah shouldn’ hold ya up fer too long. Ah’m sure the others want t’ congratulate ya too.’

Applejack shakes her friends hands then walks off to get her head in order. The couple take a bite of their treat.

‘TWI~~~~~LI~~~~~GHT~~~!’ Pinkie cries as she catches her friend in a flying hug.
…

Inkie laughs at her sister while she dances with Rei.

‘I don’t care what anyone says. I’m still holding out for the Twinkie ending,’ Inkie states.

‘The Twinkie ending?’ Blinkie asks as she and Image Crystal dance nearby.

‘She wants daddy to end up with Hikari-chan and Pinkie-chan,’ Rei explains.

The younger woman gasps. ‘That’s so immoral!’

Inkie groans. ‘Not that crap again.’

‘Good luck finding a comic with that outcome to convince me otherwise,’ the younger sister snorts.

Rei pulls Blinkie from her date. She puts a book in her hands. ‘Ranma ½, Love Hina, He is My Master, Tenchi Muyu!, Saber Marionette, Akane-Iro, fate/Stay, Negima, Tsukihime, Seitokai No Ichizon.’ She puts the last book on the stack. ‘Want more? The harem end is still relatively popular.’

Blinkie’s eye twitches. ‘I’m good.’

‘Stop by the store. I’ll give you a discount when you need more.’

Rei goes back to dancing with her love. Blinkie sighs and looks for a place to put the books. Image is reading one of the comics.

‘I always liked Saber’s design,’ the young man comments.

Blinkie growls and drags her date away.
…

Shining has gotten enough control of his emotions to congratulate his sister. James and Cadence laugh as the prince gives Twilight a weeping hug.

‘I... am... just... so... proud...’ Shining sobs.

‘How about a kiss for the newlywed?’

Shining regains his composure and glares at James. ‘I would have thought this would get you to restrain your behavior.’

James sighs. ‘Fine. But you have to be my ius primae noctis.’

Twilight facepalms. ‘We haven’t been married for much more than a hour, and I already have grounds for divorce.’

‘He’s just joking around,’ Cadence assures. ‘If not,’ -- she glares at James -- ‘I would have used up all his regenerations by now.’

‘Eek!’ James shrieks. ‘Protect me, my love!’ He looks at Shining. ‘Well?’

The prince groans and trots away. Twilight sighs and shakes her head. Cadence giggles and follows her husband. Across the hall, Stormy and Trixie take a break from dancing. The young man shows the woman the letter from his mother. Trixie gasps, marches to the newlyweds’ table, grabs James and gives him a big kiss.

‘TRIXIE!’ Twilight screams.

‘Sorry,’ Trixie apologizes. ‘I felt I owed him that much.’

James nods. ‘To be fair, I think the family has felt that way since her grandmother.’

‘Hmpf!’ Trixie snorts. ‘It was a spur of the moment thing. Nothing more.’ She extends hand to Twilight. ‘Now, if you’ll kindly relinquish the bouquet as proof of Stormy’s and my destiny...’

Twilight groans, ‘You’ll have the same chance as everyone else.’

‘Fine. Be that way.’ Trixie turns away. ‘Come along, Stormy. Let’s go tell your sisters the good news.’

Trixie marches away. Stormy follows, laughing at the exchange. Twilight shakes her head then laughs.

‘We’ll probably have to come back since he’ll want me as his best man,’ James states.

‘Of course, dear.’

The couple kisses and goes back to enjoying the party.
…

Full Moon rests at a table. She is overwhelmed with all the love around her. A drink is set next to her. She downs it in one gulp.

‘Thanks,’ the idol moans. ‘This was the best wedding ever.’

‘Hmpf,’ Celestia snorts as she sits. ‘You really think you could have won like this? You would have glutted yourself and passed out. My forces would have disposed of you while we had the advantage.’

‘You forget. I had my army with me.’

‘And they would have overeaten as well.’

‘Overeaten at the expense of your people.’

Celestia opens her mouth to argue.

‘She has you there, sister,’ Luna giggles as she passes.

‘Don’t make me moon you again,’ the older sister snorts.

Full Moon laughs.

‘Do pick your words more carefully, sister,’ Luna sighs.

Celestia snorts. She reaches for a drink but finds the cup empty.

‘Was that an indirect kiss?’ Full Moon taunts.

The princess growls and looks away.

‘Want to try the real thing?’

‘You’re drunk, Chrysalis. Get out of my country.’

‘You wound me. I thought we were friends now.’

Celestia frowns. ‘Where are you staying while you’re here?’

‘I was staying with my sister, but I was planning on returning home later.’

‘Stay another day or two.’ The princess looks away. ‘We have plenty of room at the palace. I wouldn’t mind a visitor, and you wouldn’t need your disguise.’

Full Moon grins. ‘Is this what kids call “tsundere”?’

‘Listen, I am just inviting you because you need to work off your drunkenness. It is not like I like you or anything.’

‘Totally tsundere,’ Luna agrees.

Celestia squeals in rage and goes back to the party.
…

James and Twilight are getting ready to leave on their honeymoon. While Twilight says goodbye to her parents, Lyra has cornered the groom. He is opening a gift.

‘I had to give this to you before you left,’ the woman explains. ‘I figured I would have it published.’

James opens the package. ‘A book? Is this your pony fiction?’

Lyra shrugs. ‘I figured I would compile all the adventures you had over the past couple years. Besides, check the title. I know your wife loves the subject.’

‘The Wandering Physicist Adventures?’ He raises an eyebrow. ‘Do you really think anybody would want to read this?’

The woman laughs. ‘You’d be surprised.’

Twilight gives her parents a hug and joins her husband. ‘What’s that?’

James gives her the book. ‘Your favorite subject.’

The new wife blushes. ‘Not me as that purple pony, is it? Those stories are so silly.’

Lyra grins. ‘I knew you would love it.’

The women exchange hugs, and Lyra heads off to find her wife.

James looks around. ‘Just one more...’

‘Daddy!’ Del cries as she runs up. She latches on to her father with a big hug. ‘Rei said you were leaving and going to be away for a long time. She’s a mean liar, right?’

James pats her head. ‘Twilight and I are going on our honeymoon. We promise not to be too long.’

Del lets go and hugs Twilight. ‘Don’t go, mommy. Don’t leave me alone.’

‘You won’t be alone,’ Twilight assures. ‘You’ll have Rei and Inkie at home, and Spike will still be here too.’

‘Promise not to go away forever? I am just getting used to having a family.’

‘We promise.’

James hugs his daughter. ‘You are never alone. We will always be with you, my little angel.’

Del smiles. ‘Thank you, daddy. Have fun on your trip.’ Her smile growls. ‘Bring me back a brother!’

The newlyweds laugh and hug Del one last time before leaving.

Twilight loads the last of the newlyweds’ baggage into the TARDIS. James works in the kitchen. He closes a cupboard and joins his wife.

‘Ready to go?’ Twilight asks.

‘Yeah.’ James looks around. ‘I’m ready.’

‘Great. There is a universe out there, and I want to see it all!’

Twilight enters the ship and starts powering it up. James looks around one last time.

‘Goodbye, Mr Wanderer.’ He looks into the ship. ‘And hello, Mr Sparkle.’

The Time Lord closes the door, and the TARDIS disappears.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading.

Final TWP Survey

The story continues in The Master Game.