The Hoof that Paints the Rainbow

by Anawnymous

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Adventure
Length: 940

Rarity's constant nagging finally got to Rainbow Dash, so she finally let the unicorn set her up on a blind date. [Violence, Mild sexual themes]

First off, no. This will NOT under ANY circumstances be a clopfic. Not to say there's anything wrong with that, just not my thing. Aaaanyway, this is my first attempt at writing a FanFic so go easy on me. It's a little bit on the romantic side, but nothing too salty. But a short time ago in a universe that might exist, the blue pegasus of amazing speed we all know and love was being continually nagged at by a prim and proper white unicorn that more people need to love. After many weeks and more failed attempts, the pegasus agreed to go on a date with the unicorns artistic friend. Things start to go great, but then, tragedy strikes. Picture to the left not mine, if anyone knows who's it is lemme know.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-06 01:14:55 UTC

Insistence of a Unicorn

"But pleeeaaase Rainbow Dash, let me help you!" A snow white unicorn cried out.

"I already told you Rarity, no, and that's final." The blue pegasus declared firmly.

"But Pinkie Pie told me about this amazing baker who'd be absolutely perfect for y-"

"NO RARITY!" Rainbow shouted. A few bystanders at the market were startled and stared at the mare with shock.

"Now Rainbow there's no need to make a scene, people are looking and I can't-"

"RARITY I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE! CAN'T YOU JUST DROP IT!" The pegasus flew off into her cloud home storming with anger.

"But...Rainbow..." the unicorn began to weep until a friend of her's came by her side to comfort her.

"Stupid Rarity. Thinking she can take control of my life. I'll show her. I'll find a coltfriend all on my own. Cause I'm Rainbow Dash! I'm the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria, and nopony can beat me!" By this point she was flying all around her cloud back and forth, bouncing around the walls. Rainbow stopped at a mirror to look. "And nopony can resist me" She gave herself a wink before flying out this window. And directly into a young, orange pegasus.

"Wow Rainbow Dash, I had no idea you were so into yourself" Scootaloo said

"How much did you see!?" Rainbow asked, blushing.

"Oh only all of it"

"How'd you even get up here...wait. Were you spying on me?" Rainbow asked.

"Umm, no?" the young filly said unconvincingly.

"Yes you were!" Dash exclaimed. "You were spying on me!"

"No I waaaaasssnnn't" Scootaloo yelled while jumping off Rainbow Dash's cloud into a lake below.

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"Oh Rainbow Dash I'm so, so, SO sorry! I should never have tried to butt in on your personal affairs. I'll never try to set you up on another date again."

"Well Rarity, that's just it, I need some advice...on..." Rainbow was blushing intensely "...dating..." Rainbow said in a small voice.

The previously stated bystanders at the market must have thought a Sonic Rainboom went off 13 times in a row over by Rarity's Boutique.

"OH MY CELESTIA! There's so much we can do! We need to find a perfect colt, make a dress, find some perfume, OH and make reservations. So much to do, so much to do. Rainbow! Come here, I need to measure you to make the perfect dress!" Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and obliged to Rarity's demands for over an hour.

"There, I think you're ready for your date!"

"What if it doesn't go so well?" The pegasus asked sheepishly.

"Don't worry a feather on your wings, I'll make sure everything goes perfectly!"

"Oh good." Rainbow made a sigh of relief. Rarity started walking towards her dressers.

"And if it doesn't we can always try plan B" Rarity said to herself.

"What?!" Rainbow shouted.

"Oh nothing sweety just get yourself nice and pretty for this strong and athletic colt I set you up with!" Rarity said changing the topic.

"Athletic huh? I bet I can kick his flank around the block with both wings tied down. He probably can't even ke-" She suddenly started coughing violently. Probably due the huge amount of blush the unicorn applied directly to Rainbow Dash's face.

"It'll be fine... I hope." Rarity said

"What!?"

"Nothing!" the unicorn said too quickly for comfort. "Oh! You should leave or you'll be late!"

"But Rarity..." The pegasus protested.

"No really, this is important"

"Just go!"

"RARITY!"

"What Rainbow Dash?"

"You never told me where I'm going."

"Oh...well yes, that may be important."

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[An undisclosed amount of time later]

The blue pegasus was led to an upscale restaurant by Stable Road she had never seen before. She walked in the front door and didn't know what to expect. The place was simply ravishing. There were grand marble columns running along the length of the building and extraordinary paintings were hung along the walls. The ceiling had an excellent carving of the princess decorated by rare and unique gemstones that glowed anytime somepony walked by. At least that's how Rarity described it. To Rainbow Dash it was just another one of the unicorn's big fancy places the tomcolt didn't belong.

"Rarity I don't know about this, I never go to places like-" She stopped talking as soon as she noticed that Rarity was no longer by her side, or even in the building. She looked around and saw her by the window...waving. The white unicorn mouthed "Tell me how it goes" before leaving Rainbow alone. This would have been fine had Rarity told her who she was supposed to meet. After about thirty seconds of looking around she saw nopony all on their lonesome. She decided the best thing to do would be to leave the restaurant with a shred of dignity left. As she was walking through the door, she was blocked by a giant of a pegasus over twice her size and maybe on thirty times as many medications. "Oh. You were at the Wonderbolts academy with we weren't you?" Rainbow asked. All she got was a grunt in reply. "Did Rarity send you?" Another grunt and a nod. "Well then...I'm just going to...leave...now. Bye!" At this the blue pegasus dashed (no pun intended) out the door. Rainbow took off right into the night sky.

Our incredible heroine flew cloud and into her bed. The last thing she thought was how utterly pissed off she was at Rarity before instantly crashing into slumber. She had a happy dream of a couple sitting under a tree, eating at a picnic. It was horrible.