Ghost Pain

Rainbow Dash sat alone on the patio of a small cafe. She hadn't eaten much, but what little she had consumed seemed content, for once, to stay in her stomach. She could get food for free in the Palace, of course, but she had wanted time alone. She had thought that perhaps some time out of the Palace would help her to clear her head, but it wasn't working. She kept thinking back to the previous day's conversation with Scootaloo.

“Do I remember all those times she said she wanted to be like me?” she mumbled to herself. “How could I forget?”

She stared across the street, not looking at anything in particular. Ponies, mostly crystal, but a few of other races, walked through her field of vision. Their faces were all uneasy.

The official position on the matter of Celestia's battle with the mad ghosts was that it was "under control," and that the citizens would be protected from any further incursions. No word had been released about the severity of Celestia's own wounds. Still, it was evident from the expressions on the faces of the passersby that they knew the situation was probably more extreme than they were being told.

Despite the general malaise, some who recognized Rainbow Dash would wave at her, and she tried to offer them at least a nod and a smile in response. So far, none had approached her directly, and she was glad of that. The last thing she wanted right now was hero worship.

After some time, her luck in that matter finally ran out. She turned her head, watching wistfully as a bird flew by, and noticed a pair of pegasi approaching skittishly with their colt between them. She took a deep breath. She was still Rainbow Dash, and she was not about to break some foal's heart by waving them off, ignoring them, or flying away.

They stopped a short distance away, and the little pegasus' mother gave her an awkward wave and smile.

She waved back.

“Hi,” said Rainbow Dash, speaking just loudly enough for her voice to carry the distance.

“Hello,” said the mare, pushing her son forward. “We're here on vacation, and he recognized you.”

“You're his hero,” said the colt's father. “We were just hoping...” his words trailed off.

“It's okay,” said Rainbow Dash, and she looked down at the little colt.

The little colt had a plush toy made in her likeness clutched in his teeth, and she had to stifle a laugh.

“Come here, kid,” she said, smiling.

He froze, staring at her with huge eyes. His mother snickered, and gave him a nudge forward. Finally, he waddled up to Rainbow Dash, but said nothing – his mouth was full of her own, tiny wing, after all. He was white with a silver mane that was shot through with a single streak of bright blue.

“What's your name?” she asked.

He gently sat the tiny, stuffed version of herself on the ground to free his mouth.

“Silvergale” he said.

“That's a good name,” she said. “Nice and strong.”

His face beamed.

“You know,” she said, indicating the plush version of herself which Silvergale had sat down to speak, “I had one of those when I was little. Mine was Spitfire. I waited in line after an airshow for over an hour to get her to sign it for me.”

“Who's Spitfire?” he asked.

She sighed. Of course he was too young to remember her old idol.

“She was the Captain of the Wonderbolts before me,” said Rainbow Dash. “She was awesome.”

“As awesome as you?” asked the colt.

“I sure thought so,” said Rainbow Dash. “You want me to sign that?”

He nodded excitedly, and she fished in the breast pocket of her uniform for a pen she always kept there for that purpose.

“Here,” she said, and she picked it up with a wing, holding it in front of her face so that she could sign it where she always did, right in front of the cutie mark on its right flank.

There were hundreds of these things floating around with her autograph on them, now, – maybe thousands. Most of them had been signed as hers had been, for some fan, child or adult, who had waited in line after an airshow, and whose hoof she had shaken before they had been shunted on down the line to the next Wonderbolt at the table.

“There you go,” she said, setting the toy down where he could reach it.

“Thanks!” he said excitedly, looking at her signature with bright, joyful eyes before looking back up at her face. “I wanna be just like you, some day.” he said.

You and everypony else, she thought, but what she said was, “Well, just keep trying, okay? Don't ever quit.”

“I won't!” he said.

He would probably give up some day, she knew, when reality set in, and he needed what the world had cruelly decided to refer to as a “real job.”

Who knows, though? she thought. Some of them have to make it, right? We don't have any shortage of cadets at the academy, for sure.

“I'll practice real hard!” he said.

Quickly, he took the toy in his mouth, and ran back to show it to his parents.

“Thank you so much!” said his mother, and his father nodded at Rainbow Dash before turning to guide his son away down the street.

As Rainbow Dash watched them go, she took her pen, and stuffed it back into the breast pocket of her jacket. The seam of the pocket ripped, slightly.

“Oh, great,” she said, then she remembered that the hotel where Rarity was staying was nearby.

“Guess it won't be too much to ask,” she thought. “Thirty seconds of work for her, tops.”

She paid for her meal, and left. In a few minutes, she had found the hotel.

“Crystal Forelegs,” she said, looking up at the glistening high-rise. “This is the place.”

She stepped inside, and approached the lobby desk.

“Excuse me,” she said to the clerk, “I'm looking for a white unicorn named Rarity. She'd be with Sweetie Belle's... uh... entourage.

“Name?” asked the clerk, a bored-looking crystal stallion with a slicked-back mane.

“Rarity,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Your name,” said the clerk through a condescending sneer.

“Really?” she asked.

“Let me think about it,” he said. “Hmm... Mmmhmmm... HmHmHmHmHm... Yes, really; your name, please.”

“Rainbow Dash,” she said. “THE Rainbow Dash? Captain of the Wonderbolts?”

He did not seem impressed.

“I'll have to check the list,” he said. “Should I look under 'T' for 'The'?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, and sighed.

“Be more of a dick," she said.

He scowled, and produced a long list of names from beneath the counter.

“Good gracious,” he said. “It's actually here. Cutie mark?”

She huffed, and turned to the side. He checked the list once more, and rolled his eyes, huffing loudly.

“The wonders never cease,” he said, the same snide irritability still hanging amidst his words. “Room seven-oh-six.”

“Thanks,” said Rainbow Dash, scowling, and she headed for the elevator.

In a few minutes, she had found the room. The door hung slightly open.

“That's odd,” she said.

She peered inside, but the unicorn was nowhere to be found. The air was humid and a thin cloud of steam hung near the bathroom. She could hear the sound of the shower running.

“Rarity?” she said loudly.

“I'm in here,” responded Rarity from the same direction as the sound of the running water. Her voice sounded shaky and distressed.

“Are you okay?” asked Rainbow Dash, as she walked towards the open door of the bathroom.

“In a manner of speaking,” replied Rarity, just as the pegasus came through the door.

Rarity sat upright in the shower, leaning against the wall. She was shaking violently, and her wet mane clung to her face, which by now had been washed clean of all its makeup.

“What's wrong?” asked Rainbow Dash, walking over to sit near her water-logged friend.

“I felt cold,” said Rarity, "even though I can't stop sweating. I still feel cold, even in this damned sauna, if you would believe it, and I keep shaking.”

“Are you sick?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“No,” said Rarity. “Just a little detox for shits and giggles.”

"Ah," said Rainbow Dash, beginning to see the picture. “You picked a hell of time to try to get clean."

“You're telling me,” said the unicorn.

Her horn glowed, and the water shut off. She telekinetically took a towel from the rack, and slowly, carefully stood. Rainbow Dash thought for a moment that her knees would buckle, but somehow she managed to stay on her hooves. She dried herself off, not saying a word, and finally stepped out of the shower.

“So, what brought this on?” asked Rainbow Dash, mostly wanting to break the awkward silence.

Rarity dropped the towel on the floor, and stumbled towards the bedroom.

“A lot of things,” she said. “I didn't think the withdrawals would hit so quickly.”

“Well you do stay high a lot,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Once again,” said Rarity, “You're telling me.”

She walked very shakily to the bed, and laid down on it.

“Why the visit?” she asked, trying to sound cheery.

“Oh,” said Rainbow Dash. “Don't worry about it.”

“No, go ahead,” said Rarity. “Did you need something?”

“Just a little seam fixed on my uniform,” said the pegasus. “Gotta look presentable, you know?”

“Don't we all?” asked Rarity. “All the fucking time.”

Rainbow Dash didn't reply.

“I should have never gone to Canterlot,” said Rarity.

“Huh?” said Rainbow Dash.

“I thought it would make me somepony,” said the unicorn, “but look at me, now.”

Rainbow Dash said nothing.

“There's a bottle of gin and a glass somewhere on my dresser,” said Rarity. “Could you bring it to me? I can't focus well enough to pick it up from here.”

“Is that a good idea?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“I threw out everything else,” said Rarity, “but I have got to have something, or I'm never going to be able to finish with that thing.”

Rainbow Dash stood, wondering what she meant. As she approached the dresser, she understood. Right beside the bottle and glass Rarity had requested, there sat Twilight's crown. It had been partially restored, bent mostly back into shape, but it was still slightly misshapen, and in bad need of polishing.

“I see,” said Rainbow Dash.

She tucked the bottle and glass under her wings, and walked to the bed.

“Just set them on the nightstand,” said the unicorn.

Rainbow Dash complied, and Rarity rolled towards the nightstand. Her mane, still wet, dragged across her face, partially obscuring it. She poured herself a glass, and Rainbow Dash was stunned to see that even her telekinesis was unsteady. The bottle shook as the unicorn removed the cap, and when she poured, quite a bit of gin missed the glass completely.

The pegasus sighed.

“Here,” she said. “Sit up.”

Rarity did, shaking all the while. Rainbow Dash finished pouring the drink, and put the glass directly into her hooves. Rarity clutched it tightly, unable to hold it still, and drank it down as if she had discovered a canteen full of water after a week lost in the desert. Almost immediately, she began to calm.

Seeing this, Rainbow Dash quickly decided that most of what Rarity was suffering through was probably in her head. That didn't make it any less difficult, though, and telling her that probably wouldn't help matters, either.

“For what it's worth,” said Rainbow Dash, “I'm proud of you.”

“So am I,” said Rarity. “Gods, what am I doing with myself?”

“Looks like you're trying to get your shit together,” said the pegasus.

“Not that,” said Rarity. “I mean everything – Canterlot, you know?”

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash. “I know. You get to where you think you wanna be, and it's nothing like what you imagined.”

“Exactly,” said Rarity. She set the glass down, and once more rolled over onto her side.

“You know,” she said, “I haven't made anything I really liked in years.”

“Oh, come on,” said Rainbow Dash. “As creative as you are...”

“It's not that,” said Rarity. “I get ideas I like, but it's not what those stuffy, rich bitches on Canterlot Boulevard would want.” She scowled. “Gods, I hate them all.”

“Rarity, you're scaring me,” snickered Rainbow Dash.

Rarity cackled out a quiet, shaky laugh.

“It's true,” she said. “Bunch of selfish, dirty little mares that have never worked for anything in their entire lives. You should see the way they look at me, Rainbow. All I am to them is a status symbol. As long as they're wearing my clothes and I show up at their parties, I stay in their good graces. All so I can have the life of which I have oh-so-deeply dreamed. Can you imagine what that's like?”

“Actually,” said Rainbow Dash, “I know exactly what that's like.”

“Really now?” asked Rarity.

“I don't even like flying, anymore, Rarity. I do it for training exercises, and at airshows, and if I have to go to the grocery store. That's about it.”

“Come on,” said Rarity. “Don't tell me that right now, Rainbow Dash.”

“Well, it's true,” said the pegasus. “It felt really good at first, hearing the crowds cheering, and chanting my name. Hell, it felt good for a long time. Then, one day, it just... didn't. They started up with the cheers, and all of a sudden I just wanted to be at home, laying in bed next to my big, goofy turtle, reading a book.”

“That sounds like a nice afternoon,” said Rarity.

"I don't think they're really cheering for me, anymore," said Rainbow Dash. "I think they're really just cheering for an idea they have of who I am. ”

“Well,” said Rarity, lifting her head to look at the pegasus, “maybe that idea is important to them.”

Those words hit Rainbow Dash like sunlight from behind curtains suddenly thrown open. She winced at them, and shook her head slightly, giving a "hmph."

“Never thought of that,” she said distantly. “Maybe it... is... important.”

“The idea they have of me, though?” said the unicorn. “Totally useless. I'm not their idol, Rainbow Dash. I'm an accessory to their own image." She sighed. "And then there's my sister.”

She curled up into a fetal position.

“She just wanted to be like me, however she could. So, she followed me off to Canterlot. She could have stayed in Ponyville, and had real, sincere friends. She could have sung her little heart out as much as she wanted, and everypony would have really appreciated having that little ray of light in their boring little town.'

“Now?” she said sadly. “Now, she's a product to be sold, and I'm the one who designs the package. She's terrified all the time that she won't be good enough somehow, and she'll lose all that. Then, she thinks I'll be disappointed in her, and no matter how much I tell her otherwise, she just can't believe it because she sees the way I live."

Rainbow Dash laughed bitterly.

“You're right,” she said. “We should have never left home.”

“When this is over,” said Rarity, “if the world still exists, do you want to go back to Ponyville?”

“I don't know,” said Rainbow Dash. “If I'm still in the Wonderbolts, it's not too far away, I guess, but I don't even know if I want to do it, anymore-- be a Wonderbolt, I mean.”

“Why did you want to do it in the first place?” asked Rarity.

“Why did I?” asked Rainbow Dash. “I don't even remember. I never thought about that back then. I just knew I wanted it.”

“Well, think it over,” said Rarity, “and pour me another glass of gin.”

***

Back at the Palace, Lyra Heartstrings, like Rarity, had also taken a shower, though hers had not been an attempt to stave off withdrawals, but more a matter of hygiene; she had not left her son's side since he had first fallen into his stupor.

Fluttershy had offered to let her and Shimmershine use her room, and had moved her things into Pinkie Pie's. The door was left open at Shining Armor's insistence, so that Shimmershine's behavior could be periodically observed by the patrolling guards. That was why it was easy for Pinkie Pie simply to stick her head through the door, and give a cheerful “Hi!”

The pink earth mare had often remarked to Lyra that she wished her own children were as well behaved as Shim, and she always seemed to be glad to see the shy, contemplative little pony. It was unsurprising that she would drop by, now that he was awake.

“Hello, Pinkie Pie,” said Lyra, who was unpacking the few things she had brought with her from a small suitcase. She was still damp, and her mane was wrapped in a towel.

“Ooh,” said Pinkie. “Sexy Momma.”

“Hush,” said Lyra, laughing slightly, and nodding to where Shimmershine sat on the floor.

Even if Pinkie Pie was only joking, Lyra didn't like for her son to see her flirting with other mares. It was just one more way that his world was different from the world of every other foal he knew.

“Oh, relax,” said Pinkie Pie. “How are ya, kid?” she asked, stepping over to the foal, who seemed listless and distant, though aware of his surroundings.

He shook his head, and said nothing.

“Don't be so down,” said Pinkie Pie, lifting his chin with a hoof.

He gave her a peculiar look.

“How can you still talk to me like this?” he asked. “You know I'm not the same as I was before.”

“Not if you don't wanna be, I guess,” said Pinkie Pie, “but you still look like that colt that comes over after school to play with my foals, as far as I can tell.”

“Your foals,” he said, quietly. “My friends.”

“Yeah,” said Pinkie Pie. “That's right.”

“What will they think about me?”

“That's up to them, I guess,” said Pinkie Pie, “but as long as you don't start floating in the air shooting death rays and screaming about 'magnificent power' or anything, I doubt they'll really care.”

The foal laughed just a little, and Lyra looked sharply towards him.

“Pinkie,” she said, “how do you do that?”

“I just sorta don't give a sh...” she stopped herself from releasing the expletive in front of the colt. “Hmm.”

"I can't do anything like that,” said Shimmershine. "I don't have any 'magnificent power,' or anything. "

“Well, then,” asked Pinkie Pie, “What's the difference?”

“I dunno.” said Shimmershine, shaking his head. “I remember... before, but I didn't really know much, then. I didn't know about anything other than me.”

“Then just be Shim, again,” said Pinkie Pie.

“I wanna do that,” said Shimmershine, “but I know what's happening because of me.”

"Hey, you didn't want this to happen,” said Pinkie Pie. “At least I don't think you did. If I'm wrong, though, I guess that makes you a villain, and you just don't seem like one.”

“I didn't mean to be,” said the colt. “I didn't know I was hurting anyone, and now I know why they hate me so much.”

“Well, I don't hate you,” said Lyra, walking over to sit beside the tiny pony.

“You should,” said Shimmershine. “I almost did the same thing to you I did to them."

“Well, you didn't,” said Lyra, and she gave him a hug, “and I'm glad.”

“Will they kill me?” asked the colt.

Lyra and Pinkie both recoiled.

“Everypony will want to, when they find out." He dropped his head, once more. "They'll be right."

“I don't they think that's going to happen,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Then I should kill myself,” said Shimmershine.

Lyra made a stunned squeaking sound in her throat.

“Don't say that!” she said, suddenly.

“I should or you should," said the colt, beginning to sniffle. "And when I'm dead, cut out my heart, and DESTROY IT!” he screamed.

The room fell silent for a few moments, and then Pinkie spoke.

“Like hell we will,” she said. “Do you know what we went through to get that thing?”

Shimmershine's expression changed to one of confusion.

“No,” he said. “I never heard that story.”

“Eh, you can find it on FiMfiction,” said Pinkie Pie. “'The Sun Eater'. Just be sure your mature filter's off. There's this one fight that goes a little overboard on the gore-o-meter.”

“What are you?” asked Shimmershine.

“You're asking me that?” said Pinkie Pie, in response.

“Never mind,” said the foal, “all that matters is that everypony's doomed as long as I'm alive.”

“Then we're doomed,” said Pinkie Pie. “Least it'll be a fun ride.”

“I don't understand you,” said Shimmershine.

“Yeah, you do,” said Pinkie Pie, and her face contorted momentarily in thought.

“You like singing songs?” she asked.

“Yes,” said Shimmershine.

“Cake and icecream?” she asked.

“Of course,” said the colt.

"Sunny days, and parties, and ice skating, and laughing 'til your sides hurt, and telling bad jokes, and playing pranks?

He nodded.

“Would you fight for your friends, even if it meant losing all of that other stuff I just said?”

“I guess so,” said Shimmershine.

“Then you understand me,” said Pinkie Pie. “And pretty much everypony else, too. So, what if you're a cosmic horror?”

Shimmershine blinked, and a strange look of understanding came over his face.

“Feel better?” asked the pink earth mare.

“Uh-huh,” said the foal.

“Well, I gotta go," said Pinkie Pie. Got lots of old friends around I need to see; but you two keep it together, okay?"

They both nodded, and Pinkie Pie stepped into the hallway.

"Still got it after all these years," she said.

***

Fluttershy wandered towards a park she had noticed on the way to the Palace. She hoped it would have a duck pond, or perhaps some squirrels.

She missed animals dearly.

After a few minutes, she found its gate, and wandered inside. There was a path made of crystalline cobblestones, and she followed it through the park, towards a small grove of trees. She was surprised to see, of all ponies, Applejack, lying in the grass beneath the trees with her head upright.

The orange mare saw her coming, and tipped her hat towards her.

“Hello, Applejack,” she said as she approached. “What are you doing here?”

“Might be my last day, for all I know,” said the earth mare. “Wanted to be around some trees. Just about every goddamn thing in this city is made of rock.”

“Well it is the Crystal Empire,” said Fluttershy. “Have you seen any critters around here?”

“Ha, yeah,” said Applejack. “There's a pond with some geese over yonder a little ways.” She indicated a direction.

“I'm going to go sit and watch them,” said Fluttershy.

“I'll go with you,” said Applejack.

They walked in silence for some distance, and finally, Applejack spoke.

“When are you getting them stitches out?” she asked.

“I don't know,” she said. “I was supposed to go back to the hospital this week, but I don't think I'm going home.”

“Oh, come on, Fluttershy.” said Applejack, exasperated.

“I can't, okay?” said the pegasus, and for once, her words were firm.

“It's your home,” said Applejack. “It was your home before he even moved into town.”

They reached the pond, now, and Fluttershy was pleased to see that there were, indeed, a few geese swimming on it.

“I know that, Applejack,” she said, “but if I go back after this, he'll do something awful.”

Applejack huffed.

“I know you don't want to hear it, but... I can't do anything about this. What am I supposed to do? Kill him? I'd hate myself. I'd never, ever be able to feel like myself again, even if I got away with it.”

“Then let me kill him,” said Applejack. “I got a shovel and a bigass farm. Won't nopony ever know where he went, and I don't reckon I'll ever feel like me again, no way.”

“Applejack,” said Fluttershy, forcefully. “I know what you're going to think when I say this, but you have to understand that I really want him to just live and be happy.”

Applejack shook her head, totally aghast.

“WHY?” she outright shouted.

“I don't know!” said Fluttershy. “It doesn't make any sense, at all, but I just want him to live and to change and to be happy. I just want it to be with somepony else.”

“You think he's gonna be happy with somepony else? Hell naw. He'll just go find somepony else like you. He wants somepony he can control.”

“But he hates himself for that,” said Fluttershy. “I can tell.”

“That's 'cause he's weak,” said Applejack. “If'n he was worth a damn, he wouldn't be afraid of somepony who could stand up to him. Don't know if there's any stallions like that left, though. I sure ain't seen one.”

“I don't know if he's weak or not,” said Fluttershy, “but I know he's ashamed of himself.”

“Well if being with you makes him ashamed of himself, he ain't gonna be happy, no way.”

“I know that,” said Fluttershy. “Neither one of us can ever be happy with the other. That's why I'm staying here.”

Applejack growled quietly through her teeth.

"There it is," she said. "That's what pisses me off,” said Applejack.

“I don't want to stay,” said Fluttershy, pleadingly.

“Then don't!” said Applejack.

She sighed.

“Fluttershy, you asked me a couple days back if you disgusted me,” said the earth mare. “Well, you don't. Fact of the matter is I think real well of you. What disgusts me is that somepony I think well of – one of my best friends – is giving her life away to somepony that don't deserve it.'

“I know how you are, girl,” she continued. “You ain't some kinda winged-wonder-war-machine, like Rainbow Dash. I quit expecting that of you years ago.” She drew a deep breath. “But you could at least have the respect for yourself to get somepony to stand beside you while you tell that motherfucker that you're through with him. Me or Pinkie or whoever – hell, I'll loan you Big Mac. He'll do it; he thinks pretty well of you, too.'

“Just don't walk away from us, like this. We want you around. We want you to be happy, like you used to be, before that sonofabitch came to town. You ain't gotta be afraid of him. He's afraid of everything himself, and all he needs to know is that if anything ever happens to you, we're coming for him. Just let him know that, and you'll never see him again. You can sleep as sound and tight in that little cottage of yours as you ever did."

Applejack pulled out her flask, and took a deep pull from it.

“And when you're ready," she continued, wiping her lips, "you can find somepony else that'll love you, and this time, they won't hurt you. You can do that, you know? I believe in that about you; you've always known for damned sure how to love somepony, and to let somepony love you.”

She sighed.

“That's one more way you're different than me, I guess,” said Applejack. “And better than me.”

Fluttershy said nothing, but stared at her reflection in the still water of the pond, looking at the stitch above her eye.

"You're wrong," she said, finally. "You do know how to love. It's just different for you. It's hard to love the way you love."

"Love ain't supposed to be hard," said Applejack.

"Yes it is," said Fluttershy. "Everypony just wants it to be easy. We all lie to ourselves about ponies we love. We lie to ourselves about ourselves. That makes it easy for the rest of us, but you can't do that. It's not your way."

Applejack's face was stolid, but she raised a hoof, and wiped a tear away from her eye.

"I'm grown cold inside, Fluttershy."

"Then love cold, Applejack," said the pegasus.

***

It was done.

Rarity sat back, and looked at the Element of Magic with a greater sense of pride than she had felt in years. It was impossible to tell that it had ever been through its long ordeal.

“Rarity,” she said, “you are so good you ought to be ashamed of it.”

A knock sounded at her door, and she opened it telekinetically. Sweetie Belle stepped inside.

“Wow,” she said, noticing the crown. “That looks a lot better.”

“A lot better?” said Rarity. “It's perfect.”

“Fair enough,” said Sweetie Belle. Her eyes narrowed.

“You look... almost sober,” she said, genuinely stunned.

“I am almost sober,” said Rarity, sipping at a gin and tonic she had mixed herself earlier. “Almost.”

“What the hell?” asked Sweetie Belle.

She noticed the drawer where she knew Rarity kept her heroine hanging open, and peered inside it.

“It's gone,” she said, stunned.

“Yes,” said Rarity. “I gave it to a bum on the street. He looked like he could use it.”

“Rarity!” said Sweetie Belle, disapprovingly.

“Well, I wasn't going to waste it,” said the older mare.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes.

“You know what?” she said. “I don't even care.”

“Well,” said Rarity, “I can't make any promises that this is permanent.”

“It can be,” said Sweetie Belle.

“I'm not nearly as certain of that as you sound,” said Rarity, “and you don't sound certain, at all.”

“I'll help you,” said Sweetie Belle.

“I know that,” said Rarity. “And that's going to make it all the worse when I fall off the wagon.”

“Then I'll help you climb back on,” said Sweetie Belle.

She stepped close to her big sister, and nuzzled at her neck.

“How many times?” asked Rarity, staring at the crown.

Sweetie Belle shrugged.

“How many do you need?”

***

Celestia sat patiently as the Palace doctor, a young unicorn mare with a brown coat and a green mane, unwrapped the bandage from around her face and ruined eye. It was humbling and even humiliating, but it had to be done. At the very least, this was the last of her wounds that had to be redressed. To lessen somewhat the sting of this necessity, the doctor had at least come to her suite in the Palace, where it could be done in private.

As the last winding of the bandage came away, the doctor grunted, as if it caused her some degree of pain just to see Celestia's terrible injury.

“Is it really that bad?” asked Celestia.

“Would you like to see?” asked the doctor, furtively.

She had not yet seen the wound, herself. It had been bandaged while she was unconscious, and had stayed that way.

“I suppose I must, eventually,” said the white alicorn.

The doctor stepped to the side, and Celestia stood. She hobbled into the bedroom of the suite, and stepped to the mirror.

“Gods, I'm hideous,” she said, staring into the ragged hole from which her right eye should have stared back.

The blow had not only obliterated her eye, but had torn away most of the eyelid. A little magic and the regrowth of her fur would keep the rest of the scars from showing too badly, but that tattered void in her face would always be there to remind her of the course she had chosen.

In her youth she had been vain, but as she had grown older and wiser, vanity had given way to a simple understanding that she had, by no merit of her own, been gifted with beauty. Still, though she knew she had done nothing to deserve it, she had always been glad of it.

Now, for the first time in her many aeons of life, she felt truly ugly. She let a tear rise, and she actually enjoyed the sensation of it stinging in the empty, crusted place where her eye had been.

“Wrap it,” she said.

She sat down, and the doctor stepped to her side. In a few minutes the horrible wounds were hidden once more from her sight, and in some way, that returned to her some small peace of mind.

“Thank you,” she said, quietly.

“Would you like a little Morphine?” asked the doctor.

“No,” she said firmly, a slight ferocity behind the word.

The doctor shook her head, a look of pity tracing briefly across her face. She had been trying to get Celestia to take some kind of painkiller all day, but the Princess would have none of it.

“Just be sure not to lay on your right side, for now,” she said.

“I will,” said Celestia, and the doctor walked out of the room, leaving the medical bag she had brought along. The supplies in it would be necessary again in the morning.

Celestia stood, and walked towards her bed, her gait uneven and shaky.

As she finally reached the bed, an ache arose in her right wing. It seemed to stem not from the tip of the stump, but from further down the wing, though that part of it was now forever gone, torn away so quickly in the melee that Celestia had not even seen it happen. Still, though, the pain was real; a sharp, rhythmic throbbing all along the length of the wing that was no longer there.

“Ghost pain,” she said, as she eased herself carefully onto the bed.

She sighed, and shut her eye. According to instinct, the muscles on the other side of her face contracted also, causing the remnants of her eyelid to try to shut. Like everything else she did with that side of her face, it hurt.

She relaxed her exhausted body, and hoped as sleep took her that at least in her dreams her body might be whole.

“Hello, sister,” said Luna.

The two of them stood bodily in an empty, wavering void of many colors, surrounded by distant, twinkling lights, like stars.

“What are you doing here?” asked Celestia, aware that she was asleep and disappointed to find that here, too, her wounds remained.

“Guarding your dreams,” said Luna. “After all, who in all the world has more reason to have a nightmare right now than you?”

“The child,” said Celestia.

“He is behind Shining Armor's barrier,” said Luna. “I cannot protect him – not in this way, at least.”

“How terrible,” said Celestia. “All of it.”

“Yes,” said Luna, “but still most of all for you. There are things in your mind right now that are horrible, indeed.”

“And I suppose I do not see them because you are here?” she asked.

“I speak not of things that can be seen,” said Luna, “but of things that are felt. The worst kind of nightmares, these – the kind that follow us into the waking world.”

Celestia said nothing. She merely winced at another sudden pain from the phantom wing.

“Do you still think they would be proud to see me?” she asked.

“Why would they not?” asked Luna. “I am.”

The void twisted, and out of it there came an image of their father, eyes and mane aglow with a golden light, as Celestia always remembered him.

“Would he have chosen this path?” asked Celestia, looking at the specter her memories had conjured.

“I cannot say,” said Luna, “and he is beyond asking. It is most likely that he is now only a maddened revenant.”

The huge stallion faded into the swirling abyss, and Celestia turned back towards Luna.

“I do not want to fight him,” she said, “not even if his mind is gone, and not even if we can win.”

“Perhaps we will not have to,” said Luna. “Perhaps Twilight Sparkle and her friends can give him and the rest of these unfortunate beings real peace, once and for all.”

“Do you believe that?” asked Celestia.

“I hope,” said Luna.

“So do I,” said Celestia.

“Rest,” said Luna. “I will hide you from the darkness.”

“Thank you,” whispered Celestia, and the void faded into a familiar place from long ago – her home, once upon a distant time. She was a filly again, and there, also, was her little sister. They were practicing their telekinesis by making a long daisy chain. Her father and mother watched from under a huge, old oak tree that swayed in the breeze.

She could not remember how she had come to be there, and for the duration of that sweet dream, she did not wonder why.

***

Shimmershine, asleep far below surrounded by a faint, purple barrier, was having a dream not nearly so reassuring.

“You think it so wonderful that they would call you their own?” asked the many.

“I know it is,” said the one.

“Then how much more meaningless shall it become when they are destroyed?” asked the many.

“You won't destroy them,” came the stalwart reply of the one. “They're stronger than you think they are.”

“It matters not,” they said. “We are within your heart. We have searched it, and seen what is dearest to you: the creature you call 'mother.' Know that when we are again set free, we shall choose her for our portal, and she she shall be destroyed.”

"I won't let you," came that singular, tiny voice.

"Do you think that you are what you were before merely because you remember it?" they asked. "You are a tiny, finite being with tiny, finite power."

"But my heart is still my heart." said the boy.

Author's Note

After all the dire, heavy things that had happened in the last few chapters, I felt this was a good place for a short breather with something a bit more uplifting. I even tried to add a little humor with the desk clerk at the hotel.

I'd been listening to System of A Down's old Mezmerize album a good bit, and "Lost in Hollywood" was stuck in my head when I was writing the scene between Rainbow Dash and Rarity. It definitely inspired a couple of lines from that conversation.

Writing this chapter was where I really realized that Shimmershine had to still speak like a little boy. In the first draft, I tried changing his mode of speech significantly from what it was before his memory was reawakened. He went back to the cold, emotionless speech of Cenasolus in "The Sun Eater." It made him unsympathetic, and ruined him as a character. I like the idea that even though he remembers what he was before, it's still separated from him, in some way.