Chapter 2: The Three Stooges

The first thing my father noticed (or smelled) when he got back home that evening, is the scent of a cat. As soon as Luna (In her Tom guise) appeared from my bedroom, my dad ran over and picked him(her)up like a baby, asking where have he(she) been to. I had to bit my lips to prevent myself from bursting out laughing when Luna gave me the eye that says "Help me!" in them. It was one of the funniest thing I've ever saw. Anyway, other than that one part, the rest of the night went smoothly without any incident.

Bzzt...Bzzt...Bzzt

Click!

"Ughh... Morning already?" I groaned as I turned around in bed.

"Wake up son," My dad called from the door. "Or else you'll repeat Monday again."

"Ugg... five more minutes," I yawned.

"And how are you doing my little furball?"

Furball??

I opened my eyes immediately and sat up straight. My dad was holding Tom(Luna) who was still asleep soundly, sweat started to form on my brows.

"Hmm? Pwoeh! What happened to my little furball?" My dad exclaimed as he held Tom(Luna) away from his nose. "I could have sworn that you smelled like violet and lavender yesterday! Well, I guess someone needs to take a bath."

"NO WAIT!" I yelled.

"Whoa son! What makes you work up so suddenly?" My dad asked in surprise.

"You know how Tom is when he's woken up in the morning right dad? Besides, he hates bathtimes." I said anything that came to my mind, I just need to prevent him from doing anything.

"I suppose you're right son," My dad replied. "But he does smells like your old gym socks!"

My old gym socks, that's how I know how Luna really smells. How the heck does she smells like violet and lavender in one day and smells like my socks the next day? I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that she spent the last 10 hours as a household cat but whatever.

"I'll give him a bath dad, just go and take your coffee. I'm sure you don't like your coffee getting cold." I do hope I don't really have to give her a bath, I just hope she knows a few cleaning and grooming spells.

"MY COFFEE!" My dad exclaimed as he rushed out of the room and down the stairs. I laughed, coffee has been his one and only weakness, once he spent about $700 once for just a kilogram of coffee beans that has been taken out from civet cat poop! Yuck! He even says that the taste is exquisite!

Luckily, despite the commotion, Luna is still sleeping peacefully on the foot of my bed. I lift off the duvet as gently as I could and tip toed to the bathroom. Once I'm done with the morning rituals, I have to tip toe to the closet and get out my outfit of the day.

A white T-shirt, blue jeans and an old leather jacket which I recieved from my dad. Luckily, the only dress code my school have is no unusual clothing articles, so a leather jacket is nothing unusual. And I hate to brag but DAMN I look good!

"Morning mom, morning dad." I yawned from the stairs.

My dad is at the table already, a coffee mug in his right hand and today's paper in the other. He gave me a nod before taking another sip of his coffee. Today's headline isn't exactly big new, it is actually some celebrity got engaged with whoever that is, not really the juicy news I expected for today.

Sitting down at the table, I prayed hard that today's breakfast isn't oatmeal again. That goopy stuff is the bane of my existence, that piece of shit not only taste bad, but it's also difficult to swallow. Once I had a stomachache because I mixed too much water to my oatmeal so I could swallow it down without that yucky aftertaste. How the heck does oatmeal taste so great as bread when it taste like shit as breakfast?

Please don't be oatmeal, don't be oatmeal, don't be oatmeal To really get my message conveyed to whoever is in charge of my life,(God, destiny, my hands(Does that even makes any sense?)) I crossed all my finger and prehaps even my toes too.

It wasn't until my mom told me to look what's in front of my plate did I open my eyes. On a place in front of me, were 4 golden brown waffles doused in maple syrup and chocolate sauce. As an extra treat, 2 fresh strawberries were placed on the sides. It ain't no bacon, but the sight itself was enough to make my mouth water. Taking my utensils, I was about to dig in when I remembered something.

What am I suppose to get Luna for her breakfast?

The obvious answer is what's on my plate. In fact, it seems to be the most obvious answer due to how many fanfiction I've read  had wrote that waffles were her favourite. But she's actually here for real! Is fiction going to turn into fact?

"You okay Dix?" My dad asked. "You're spacing out."

"Huh?" I snapped out of my thoughts and immediately said. "I'm okay."

Staring down at the plate in front of me, I guess I don't have much choice. Taking the plate from the table, I was about to go upstairs to my room when my mother asked.

"Dixon? Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to my room mom! I remembered I still have homework to do!"

"You better finish them while you eat, and don't make a mess alright?"

"Yes mother." I groaned.

Pushing the door open with my elbow, I could see Luna still sleeping peacefully on my bed. I walked towards her with the plate still in hand. Kneeling in front of her to get a better view, I brought the plate directly to her nose. Her nose started to twitch a little.

Hmm...

I cut a small piece of waffle with my knife and brought it under her nose with a fork.

"Oh Princessss... Breakfast is readyyyyy." Sounds cheesy and creepy I know, but I can't help myself.

No reaction from her except for more nose twitching.

Let's try that again.

I cut a larger piece of waffle and brought it under her nose.

"Fooooooood...Wafflesssssss"

The moment I said the W-word, Luna's eyes shot open. She looked at me for a second before noticing the waffles on my plate.

"WAFFLES!" She exclaimed before I put a finger to her mouth while telling her to keep her voice down.

"Sorry!" She whisphered. With a flash(And thankfully no sound), the grey feline has turned into a blue alicorn lying on my bed. Without warning, she took the plate off my hands and munched down all 4 waffles in 10(11.3 seconds actually, but who's counting that?) seconds flat. I looked at her and found that she has maple syrup and chocolate sauce all over her nuzzle! Taking a tissue from my desk, I handed her the tissue in which she took and wiped her mouth.

"I thank you for the delicious waffles Dixon. But if I may ask, how did you know that my favourite food are waffles?"

"Umm...Just a hunch?" I smiled nervously, then I heard my stomach rumbling.

"Is there a problem?"

"OH no no no no no! There's no problem at all!" Great, I gave up my breakfast and maybe even my wellbeing just to make sure Luna doesn't starve to death. I knew I should have eaten that small part that I cut before giving it to her! Well... At least the strawberries are still there...

Looking at the clock, the bus is going to arrive any minute now. I took my bag and was about to exit the room when Luna asked.

"Excuse me, but where are you going?"

"I'm going to school...to learn more stuff..."

"In that case..."

With another flash of light, the once blue alicorn on my bed has turned into a blue cap.

I am intrigued about your kind and I wish to know more... maybe this 'stuff' you're speaking off might help.

"If you insist." I took the cap from my bed and placed it on my head.(Hey that rhymed)

Shall we get going?

"Yes yes..." I groaned.

RING!!!

"FINALLY!" I yelled as I exited the classroom after what seems likes forever. Luna has been flooding my mind with questions and I'm afraid that I might go crazy if she asked me another. I can't wait to go home and... do something, whatever that is. I just want to get out of here.

"You did a fine job humiliating me in front of the class." I murmured under my breath to Luna.

Did I do something wrong?

"Oh no no no! Nothing's wrong!"

When I exited the school building, staring at the parking lot in front of me. For some reason, no one seems to be around even though it is already dismissal time. I walked towards the exit when I saw the reason why the parking lot seems so deserted.

Them

At this point of time, I was very *insert noun here* deprived on what just happened. So what I said may or may not actually happened.

So here I am, in the middle of the basketball court, no wait it's the parking lot. I saw 3 of the biggest assholes in the school. Jack "Asshole" Thompson, Richard "Dickhead" Head and their leader, Isaac "Cunt" Hunt. Each of them held the school record if not, world record, for most numbers of hours spent in detention. Why aren't they expelled yet I will never know, some people say that Isaac's father is a close friend of the Principal so that might explain it.

Anyway, since today's Tuesday, they'll wait for the first unlucky fellow to enter the parking lot and will proceed to beat him senseless(for no reason/ just for lulz) unless: 1) Said fellow gives them something to stop. 2) Those three assholes got tired of it. 3) The cops arrive. And I just happens to be that unlucky fellow.

The three stooges noticed me in the parking lot and proceed to walk towards me. So I'm literally screwed, Luna asked me who are those people, all I can reply is:

"My worst nightmare."

They stopped just 3 metres in front of me, Isaac was the first to spoke up.

"So here's the lucky fellow of the day! Since I'm in a nice mood today, I might let you go if you give us what you have in your wallet."

I don't really have much choice, either get beat up or lose the rest of my weekly allowance. The second option seems better, so digging into my wallet, all I have was a twenty and a ten. Isaac noticed what I had and spoke up again.

"Too bad then, minimum fare is a fifty." He spied iPhone in my pocket. "Say, you know what? I like that iPhone, give me that and I'll let you go."

"Are you sure you don't want this cool leather jacket?"

"COOL?" All of them laughed. "That thing is a piece of garbage!"

"You're not taking this phone away." I can feel my heart in my throat. This phone was a gift from my dad a year ago, also, it contains 'stuff' I don't want to let others to know about.(Now I know what all of us are thinking of, but I'm not gonna say it... ... ... *stares at readers* R34 of Luna, alright?)

"Oh! So you want to do it the hard way eh?" Jack came up cracking his knuckles.

"I think I going to choose the third way. AND THAT'S RUN LIKE HELL!"

I took off like the wind while leaving the three in the dust. Immediately, they took off and were hot on my heels. It is difficult to try and outrun 3 teenagers who were larger and taller than you are, and a 10 second head start isn't making much of a difference.

So that leaves me where I am now, running my ass away from the three stooges while trying to prevent Luna from falling of my head. Everytime I think that I've lost them, the scream of Isaac makes me pick up my pace again. He has been screaming so much for the last few minutes, his screams are forever buried in my mind. In fact, I can make a list of what he was saying. For example:

"I'M GONNA CUT YOUR BALLS OFF AND BOIL THEM!"

"GET BACK HERE MOTHAFUCKA! I'M GONNA CUT YOUR HEAD OFF!"

"DIX I'M HERE! I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP!"

"THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO BE HARD MOTHAFUCKA!"

"I'M GONNA CUT YOUR HEAD OFF AND WEAR YOUR FACE!"

Jeez, can this guy get any crazier? He's downright insane! You know, his screams makes me remember a video I saw on YouTube once, but I can't lay my finger on which video it is. I kept running all the way, even thought my legs were hurting like hell. It wasn't until I reached home did I stop.

Immediately, I closed all windows and shutter and hid in my room. Now I've pissed off the worst person in history and he's gonna murder me for all these. Great, fucking great.

Well one things for sure, at least I got home safely with my balls intact.