My Little Crossover, Anarchy is Magic

by Chloe The Great

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Random, Human, Romance, Comedy
Length: 3086

Rarity has abandoned the element of generosity, Sunset Shimmer just needs to learn to stop giving herself to anyone!

Rarity and Sunset Shimmer have been sent to the human world! Their foul mouths and unacceptable behavior have been noticed and halted. The two have to re-learn all the element's quality's and collect 20 bits from evil spirits that try to take over the human world. Will they learn? Will they ever go back to Equestria?? "Okay, that's the cheesiest thing I have ever heard of!" -Sunset Shimmer

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-02 04:40:02 UTC

Excretion without honor and Humanity

The human World, a world clinging to the threshold between Equestria and Hell With a piece of it's human inhabitants is regularly threatened by foul, tempered, evil spirits. A darkness lodged in the cracks of troubled souls will disrupt unnoticed, SILENT, deadly! However, there are some who wield the light on human understanding, and descend the stools of righteousness to eradicate the shadows bound by the boules of hell! But who could it be given the duty of eliminating this darkness?! Are they servants of Gods? Or minions of the chaotic?!

    A boom of thunder came up above, the sky and gray clouds hovered above A church, that was built on a massive cliff. It hit a squishy purple and green object that was bouncing around being obnoxious dragon that it always was.

    "uhhhhh", Spike groaned and was burnt like toast as the lightning struck him hard, seemingly on purpose. Twilight Sparkle hit Spike with a small wooden hammer. A scroll dropped from the sky and landed on Spike's head. It fell off him and opened up,

W.C "Water Closet".

    A siren echoed throughout the church. A guy popped from out of Sunset Shimmer's sheets of her bed and looked around a little panicked.

    "SHIT! What the hell is going on!?!?" The man said still panicking. Sunset Shimmer groaned and lifted her body from her pillow.

    Rarity lifted her head from her soft blankets, then plopped back on her bed and dug herself under her sheets. Spike, still a little burnt stood in the main area of the church and made obnoxious noises. Twilight stood strongly beside her podium while Spike started to bounce around and breathe fire. Rarity and Sunset, along with her temporary lover, all dropped from the ceiling onto a fluffy pink couch.

    "Having a good morning Sunset?" Twilight said in a serious, but disgusted voice. The man hid his manhood with his clothes and waved goodbye.

    "That's your Que to leave, sweet-cheeks," She said waving.

    "So..I'll call you!" He said in a nervous voice and shut the door behind him. Sunset Shimmer gave out a big yawn and put her hand above her mouth.

    "And How you feeling this morning Rarity?" Twilight Sparkle asked Rarity still in a serious voice, with attitude still sprinkled in.

    "Buck off, don't talk to me till I've had my God-damn Sugar," she said in while pulling out a piece of Cake and took a spoonful. Sunset snored loudly still covered in ink blankets, and Rarity still eating her fill of cake.

    "Celestia has blessed us with a clue that should lead us to another ghost to take out", Twilight said talking directly to Sunset and Sunset. Rarity and Sunset Shimmer continued to snooze.

    "LISTEN UP!" Twilight grabbed a a small scroll from her satchel W.C, "water closet", "that means bathroom," She told them like they were empty-headed, her intention.

   Twilight, patience being what she is knows for, continued. She pulled a white rope, and a unfolded white board fell from the ceiling.

    "We have reports of people being, suddenly and unsuspectingly, sucked into their toilets almost as if they were eating them alive. Going to the bathroom is the most vulnerable positions a person can find themselves in. If someone knows something to pray upon their weakness is a vicious and damnable act! This be the work of a GHOST!" She said worried and disgusted.

    "All I need out of life is to wake up to some morning wood," Sunset Shimmer said with a smirk.

    "is there anything you hardly refuse to jump on?" Rarity replied.

    "Oh, stop it with the self-righteous bull shit! Everybody has a hobby," she still said her smirk still there.

    "Ya, that's true, I'll stick with SUGAR!" Rarity shot back.

    "Don't you ever crave protein?" she said her lips smooched together.

    "Don't you ever not?!" she said clenching her teeth.

    "Hey! It's good for you! Isn't that right Twi'?" Sunset now payed attention to Twilight.

    "SHUT-UP!" Twilight yelled at Sunset. "First of all, how the buck you think I know the answer to that?! And secondly, If you don't want to be stuck here forever, the only option you pathetic excuses for anything resembling elements have, is to buy your way back into Equestria with bits that you collect from exterminating GHOSTS!" she said using all her breath. She brought a black case and opened it.

      It had 20 coin slots, but only 3 were in it. Trying to find bits from Equestria, in the human world is hard, the ghosts and villains bring bits from the Equestria and brings them into the human World!

    "Contrary to the popular belief, you are not here to MEN or SUGAR!" Twilight yelled twice as louder. "So focus, and stop acting like stank ass hoes!" Her patience blown. Spike farted loudly and laughed. Sunset Shimmer smacked him on the hand, Rarity kicked him up in the air, and they played volleyball with him while sitting on the couch not moving any muscle in their butts.

    Finally he was smashed into the white board, and he groaned and landed harshly to the ground.

    "So what do you have on mind?" Rarity said in a bored voice.

    "Eh, fuck it. Let's go," Sunset Shimmer said in the some attitude.

    They both stood up and were instantly dressed. Sunset Shimmer wore a black jacket with a purple shirt. Rarity wearing a Blue shirt, and a dark blue skirt.

    "Hey Rarity?" Sunset Shimmer said to Rarity.

    "What is it Sunset?" Rarity responded quickly.

    "You ready to roll?" Sunset asked her with a cocky grin.

    Sunset Shimmer put a key in her car and turned it which caused it to start the engine. The head-lights lighted ahead, as the engine roared. The music was to the max of volume. Their wheels grind-ed against the street as Sunset Shimmer made as much noise possible. They finally drove off leaving only dust behind them.

    A trapdoor opened from the ground and the car Sunset was driving came from the opening. they drove onto the road and shoved all cars in front of them.

    "YAAA! I love how R-Dash always gets us where we need to go in mother-bucking style!" Sunset Shimmer yelled excitingly.

    "Hahaha, yes. It's never flowed better! Oh Celestia, you are a master at your craft," A lady with said to a plumber suggestively.

    "eyup. I'll stop by later and check up on it," The plumber said rubbing the back of his head.

    "My, aren't you just the sweetest darn thing? But I think you need to stay a bit longer cause I've got something else you can check up on.." The woman flirted.

    Sunset Shimmer ran over the plumber, "Bingo!" Sunset Shimmer yelled out. "Found him!" She said victoriously.

    "A toilet and a plumber?" Rarity asked Sunset.

    "Ya, that's him!" Sunset Shimmer said looking at him.

    "Are you sure?" Rarity asked unsure.

    "That's the bucker we're looking for! Isn't that right ASSHOLE!?" She said while climbing on top of him and pointing a neon orange gun at him.

    "Tell me, do you feel lucky punk? Well? Well do ya? Do ya?" Sunset Shimmer's voice getting hoarser as she talked.

    "That might not be him," Rarity told Sunset.

    Sunset Shimmer clicked her gun to demo, and shot bee-bee's at The plumber's head.

    "I don't think it's him," she said satisfied.

    "I'm so shocked," Rarity sighed.

    "Please stop hitting me, it really hurts!" He groaned. He touched his face and looked at Sunset with sparkly eyes. "I haven't done anything." The plumber said dreamily. Sunset blinked.

    "Buck, your a hot piece of flank," Sunset Shimmer said looking into the plumber's eyes.

    "hehe," she handed Rarity her panties, "Hold these for me for a minute," Sunset Shimmer said sounding hungry.

    "Awe! Yes! YEAAA!" Sunset Shimmer yelled in pleasure from inside a Hotel.

    "AWEEEE!!" The plumber yelled back.

    "Well, he's feeling lucky now," Sunset Shimmer said.

    "But he was just a plumber!" Rarity said rolling her eyes.

    They were both sitting on the pink couch, Twilight Sparkle scolding at their poor performance.

    "So true, and my pipes are totally clean!" She said with her cocky grin.

    "Wow, how long have you been waiting to use that joke?" Rarity said, mused.

    "Buck, it seems like forever, how could I not, know what I mean?" Sunset Shimmer chuckled.

    "WHAT DO YOU SAYING!? YOU FAILED!? YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT!" Twilight Sparkle said, her patience blowing up again, while Sunset talked over Twilight and continued to talk to Rarity.

   "Ugh!" Twilight smashed her fist onto Spike and blood spurted from his head."Oh Celestia! Grant me the patience! Let's just bucking eat!" Twilight groaned.

    All the meals Twilight had made were eaten quickly by them all, but Sunset Shimmer and Rarity being ones that ate the most. Sunset Shimmer burped loudly.

    "Shit, was that good," She said with a full-belly.

    "Your curry is fabulous Twilight!" Rarity also said with a full-belly.

    "Hahaha! Once you go Purple, you never go back!" Twilight Sparkle gushed.

    "So what's for desert!? I'm guessing chocolate, no reason in particular," Rarity said talking to herself, her voice muffling from her room.

    "Well, I don't give a shit," she said walking to the bathroom, "So I'm going to take one, so I'll be in the can if you need me," Sunset Shimmer slammed the bathroom door.

    "Don't let the toilet eat you!" Rarity teased.

    "Oh screw off!" Sunset Shimmer yelled back.

    "We should have picked up some chocolate box from the local bakery! Those balls of gooey deliciousness are to die for-" Rarity began to blabber.

    "Does she even hear what she's saying?" Sunset asked herself.

    Sunset bit her lip and pushed herself to take the biggest dump EVER. She took a regular dump, but then it seemed to over-extradited. Waste popped out of her like nothing, and it made the most uncalled for noises. Sunset blushed embarrassed. She moved her eyes from left to right, then waste practically spat out of her like a ketchup bottle.

    She looked down and tried her best to stay on the toilet seat, she was being lifted by the process of going to the bathroom.

    "Fuck! Shit!" She yelled quietly. Growling noises came from her stomach and it was heard through-out the church. It seemed as if she was literally dropping bombs into the toilet and it made booms and bangs. She sat on the can with a poker face, hoping this would end soon. A few gurgles came from the toilet, then, Sunset was being dragged into the toilet.

    "Ahhh!" She yelled out. She grunted and held onto every part of the toilet that would keep her from diving into it. Water split everywhere onto the floor.

    "RARITY! RARITYY! Help me God-dammit!!!" Sunset screamed out from the bathroom as loudly as she could.

    "Shut-up Sunset! No-one wants to talk to you while your going to the bathroom! It is disgusting!" Rarity yelled back at her in disgust.

    Sunset was sucked into the toilet, her legs still sticking out. She was fully down the toilet and all you could hear was punching sounds, along with noises of ass-kicking. The toilet made a burping noise and human waste made a fountain, as shit literally shot up from the toilet along with Sunset Shimmer. It smashed through the bathroom door and Sunset was poured out along with it.

    The waste settled into the area, but Sunset was still covered in poop.

    "Okay. I get it out now," Sunset said a little frustrated. Twilight Sparkle slid into the room while cleaning a plate with her sleeves rolled up.

    "You get what now?" Twilight asked Sunset.

    "Maybe it was your curry," Rarity said nibbling on a piece of cake.

    The smell of the human waste went into Rarity and Twilight's noses, and they threw up, the smell being the cause. Rarity continued to chew on her cake neutrally.

    "Oh ya, I get it," Sunset Shimmer said grinding her teeth.

    "Ya, but we don't," Rarity said. Both of them threw-up again adding to the pile.

    Down the streets and roads, the sewer openings were soon blasting shit straight up into the night sky. All the waste came together and built a big, foul smelling, monster.

    "What the hell is that thing!?" A man said.

    "It looks like a huge-ass scoop of chocolate ice-cream!" Another guy yelled out.

    Everybody took a big waft of the foul-smelling-monster, and threw up just like Rarity and Twilight. The monster piled shit on the humans, drowning them in waste. Car cops came running down the streets seeing the large commotion.

    All of the cop cars were smashed together making a block so the monster could go no further.

    "Freeze, shit-head!"  One cop yelled out while pointing a gun.

    "Don't make any sudden movements!" Another one said, and then shot leading the rest to shoot at the monster too. The smell of the poop from the shit-blob, reached the cop's noses. They all bent over in a direction, and vomited. The monster over-ran the streets with crap, making it a lake. cop cars floated and moved around like boats.

     "Holy shit! What the buck are we gonna do?" A short and fat officer with a white mustache said. Twilight was standing next to him, and cleared her throat.

    "Oh, no offense Princess. But dear Celestia, what is that!?" The officer said said making big hand gestures.

    "Unfortunately, you'd be staring into the brown eye of A evil spirit," Twilight said calmly, "The negative energy from all the plumbers who suffocated and died from the stench of clogged toilets, has manifested itself into vengeful spirit. This powerful Villain utilized all the fecal matter in the city to achieve it's massive, physical form.

    "That's disgusting," one cop said.

    "Oh Celestia, he's going to spew," another one said. The cop with the white beard almost threw up on Twilight, but she dodged it quickly and leaned backwards.

    "I don't think I can handle anymore bodily functions.." A cop began to say, sounding as if he might hurl.

    "Suck it up dude, not literally though! Oh shit, I'm gonna hurl again!" One cop said quickly.

    "Please don't tell him me prayers are the only thing that can get us out of this!" The white-bearded cop said worryingly.

    "Why the heck would I tell you that? Celestia isn't even here right now! We got ELEMENTS! Sunset, Rarity, your up!" Twilight said proudly, while holding out her hands. Sunset Shimmer and Rarity came from behind Twilight, Sunset Shimmer still covered in crap.

    "What are you talking about that walking turd-sickle over there?" A man said disgusted, while holding his nose.

    "And that goth chick next to her, who obviously has daddy-issues?" A man added to the other guy's question.

    "It's time for us to flush the toilet," Sunset said in a serious-acting voice.

    "Number one, that was cheesy. Number two, you smell like shit," Rarity said with one brow up.

    "How about, I buy you a cake from that fancy bakery, and you manage to do this without saying another bucking word?" Sunset Shimmer asked annoyed, but more at the monster.

    "As long as what I'm saying right now doesn't count, then I'm in," Rarity said satisfied.

    "Then let's make this bucking bucker pay, for covering me in this bucking shit. okay, you can reply to that," Sunset Shimmer said quickly.

    "Let's Rock," Rarity said, looking at Sunset look at her in a cocky grin.

    Sunset Shimmer and Rarity glowed with A heavenly light. They're white wings, with lovely halos to match, was the main attraction. Their mines looked like silk and their bodies seemed sexier than before. Men wanted to have them, woman wanted to be them, some still wanting them anyway.

    They had a exotic-pole for each, in front of them. Sunset Shimmer held onto it with her legs, and let one hand out, flipping her hair. Rarity also let her legs attach to the pole and flipped her backwards, only one hand on the pole. Sunset let her hands slide down her body and bent over and slid her hands through her soft cheeks. Rarity ran her hands through her scalp and flipped her hair dramatically, while letting her chest pop out.

    "Oh pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, oh evil villain born of those drifting between Equestria and The human Wolrd, may the thunderous power from these delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger shadow you, and return thy from which came!" Sunset Shimmer and Rarity chanted together powerfully.

    Sunset Shimmer slid her panties off, Rarity slid her long stockings off. Sunset's under-garment turned into a orange glowing gun and Rarity's socks turning into two long swords.

    "Repent you Mother-Bucker!" Sunset and Rarity yelled out.

    Sunset twirled her gun around in her hand and shot the monster hard in the middle of it's head. Rarity swirled her sword and smoothed it over with her hand. She then put it over her head and swung it at the monster violently.

    "This Blows!" The monster yelled in a deep voice. The villain then blew into a billion pieces, spreading into the night sky everywhere. All the citizens stared in awe, then jumped up in glee, everybody cheering. Sunset and Rarity still holding out their weapons. A gold coin-sized object came from the sky and landed in between where Rarity and Sunset were standing.

    "Good job girls, you got a bit," Twilight said picking it up and examining it.

    "All that for just one?" Sunset complained nonchalantly.

    "Yes, one closer, so quite your bitching," Twilight said coldly. A loud gong caught all three of their attentions, it coming from the church.

    "The evil had been vanquished. So rings the bell, at least, that's why I'm assuming it's ringing," Twilight said unsure.

    Sunset groaned and cracked her neck.

    "Now keep your promise and buy me that cake! I need sweets stat," Rarity said exited.

    "Ya, ya. I found a tasty little treat for me too!" Sunset said, dragging a blushing blonde officer.

    "Haha, whatever you say, your an element!" The blonde-haired officer said.

    "You still have a punishment to face," Twilight Sparkle said while walking down the street with them.

    "oooo, like what? vantage?" Rarity said in a silly-sarcasm-voice.

    "What would I get out of that?" Twilight asked with a brow raised.

    "Uh, ya. I got plans, you can leave me the hell alone," Sunset argued.