A Cup of Soup in Equestria

It was an easy morning for some random guy. He was on his way to work, to his office job somewhere in Sweden.

However, as he was on his way to his job, he had to take a shit. He knew he did not have any time at all to take a shit, however, he really needed to do so. Therefore, he decided to go find a bathroom.

However, he was driving, and he was almost in the middle of nowhere. However, he was lucky to find a dirty bathroom, located in the middle of the field. Therefore, he found a nice spot to stop at in the middle of the road and got out as quick as he could.

He ran towards the dirty bathroom that possibly had someone be raped inside. He eventually made it in time, and he was taking that dump that he almost could not hold anymore. He had a smile on his face and made a sound of relief.

Then, he saw a newspaper on the dirty floor that some random chick was raped on. Therefore, he decided to read the newspaper, since it was going to be a while because he REALLY had to take a shit.

Besides, he thought to himself, ‘well, there is certainly nothing for entertainment. Other then this picture of someone getting raped in this bathroom.’

Therefore, the random person picked up the dirty newspaper and started to read. He read something about rape in the paper. However, what he did not know, that someone was watching him.

Someone was watching him through the bathroom window. He was staring at him, not even blinking, but gives a very creepy stare at him.

The random person did not notice this, as he was reading something about rape. In fact, he was calm, had a smile on his face, and was even closing his eyes for a bit.

Therefore, of course, he did not notice the strange man looking through his window. The strange man then turned his head around, as if someone was watching him.

Then he started to sing. He started to sing, however, he sung in a Swedish voice accident. However, he eventually held up a can of soup. On the can of soup, it was labeled, ‘Royco’s Cup of Soup.’

Then, the cup of soup person punched through the window, with no injuries due to the broken glass. Then, the cup of soup person starched his neck out that even looked like a dick. He stretched his neck towards the random person taking a shit on the toilet.

After he sung for a bit, he brought his neck back to its normal position, however, he went into the bathroom. Then, he ripped off his shirt and revealed his strong muscular body to the person shitting the toilet.

Then, from out of nowhere, the cup of soup person took out a sword and held it up above his head. However, instead of him doing what he had planned, the sword started to go crazy. Then, a flash of light appeared, and the cup of soup person vanished.

However, the person taking a shit was still trying to piece together of what the fuck just happened. The guy even said to himself, “What the fuck just happened!? Why was that guy watching me take a shit!? I’m scared now.”

However, with that flash of light, the cup of soup person was teleported into the land of Equestria. When the cup of soup person noticed where he was at, he was questing to where he was.

He had landed in the middle of the small town, Ponyville. When he appeared, every pony in town had noticed him and was a bit afraid of him, but some thought it was just a weird occurrence that Celestia might have done and did not want to question it.

However, Twilight had seen this happen right before her eyes. When she saw what happened, she was amazed and wanted to know more about the strange creature that just appeared in the middle of town, and figure out what was that flash of light.

Therefore, Twilight stupidly trotted up to the cup of soup person. She said in a welcoming voice to him, “Hello uh…Mister? I would like to know, what exactly are you?”

When the cup of soup person noticed that the pony could talk, his eyes lit up. He had thought in his head, that his plans could work after all.

Then, the cup of soup person slowly raised a can of soup. When Twilight saw this, she asked, “What does a can of soup have to do with anything?”

Then, the cup of soup person shoved the can into twilight’s face. Then he started to repeatedly bludgeon Twilight’s face in with the can of soup. The cup of soup person did this for about three minutes straight, with the rest of the town not caring one bit at all to what was happening to Twilight.

Then, when the cup of soup person finally stopped beating her to a bloody pulp, Twilight’s face was messed up. It was as if she was a different type of creature. Then, the cup of soup person forced open Twilight’s mouth.

Then, the cup of soup person took the can, and shoved it down her throat. He slicked his down Twilight’s thought so much, he pulled out her large intestines.

Then, after he had brutally killed Twilight, he saw a pinking pony run up to him. However, the pink pony, also known as Pinkie Pie, did not notice that her friend Twilight was killed.

However, Pinkie was too excited over the fact that a new creature was in Ponyville. She really wanted to make him smile, and give him a warm welcoming to Ponyville, even if it was a visit.

Pinkie jumped the man and she started to talk so fast, that the person did not even pay any attention to what she was saying at all. Then, the cup of soup person took out a box that looked like a present and handed it over to Pinkie.

He said, “I’ve got a present for you.”

When Pinkie saw this, she was even more excited. She had never ha d a visitor and a random stranger give her a present before unexpectedly. Pinkie excitedly took out the present and opened it.

However, what she saw was nothing the box. When she saw that there was nothing, she had a frown and was confused. She then asks the cup of soup person, “I don’t get it. What’s the pres…”

Then she was cut off by the cup of soup person. The cup of soup person then started to pound Pinkie’s face into the ground. After about one hour had passed, the cup of soup person stopped pounding Pinkie’s face in, and decided to finish her off with Twilight’s intestines.

The cup of soup person then took what was left of Pinkie’s neck and started to strangle with what little life that she had in her that was left.

She started to slowly choke to death, but eventually let happened what happened and…she died. Of course, every pony else had seen this, not cared one bit about, and moved on with life.

Then, the cup of soup person started to look for his next victim. However, one pony saw the crime of this happen, and it was Rarity. Rarity was in shock as to what the fuck just happened.

She had just bought some things for her new order that she had to make. She was on her way home to work on her new designs, when suddenly, she saw her friends being killed. The cup of soup person had a big grin on his face, while Rarity just stood there, shocked.

Then, when the cup of soup person noticed him, he knew who is next victim was. Then, the cup of soup started to slowly walk towards Rarity. When Rarity saw this, she knew that she was next in line to be killed.

Therefore, Rarity dropped all of her things to the ground and ran back to her home. When she got inside, she locked all the doors and windows and prayed to pony Jesus that she would not be found. However, Rarity made a mistake and forgotten to cover up a window.

When she noticed this, it was too late. The cup of soup person was already at the window, staring creepily at her.

Then, the cup of soup person punched through the window and glass shards spread everywhere. It even got into Rarity’s eyes. Rarity screamed in pain, and asked why would pony Jesus do this to her in the first place.

Then, the cup of soup person walked into her home, grabbed Rarity’s neck, and whispered softly into her ears, “eat the soup bitch.”

Then, he pushed Rarity’s eyes in and made her bleed. Soon, Rarity was dead. Then, the cup of soup person noticed a smell.

He had smelled animals around, and a certain pony was taking care of them. Soon, he followed the trail that he smelled.

As he was following it, he came across an Apple tree farm. Then, the cup of soup person noticed an orange female pony, known as Applejack, bucking apples.

Well, he saw her, and decided to become like Slenderman, and stand still and teleport, which he did so. However, as he was doing this, he had a very creepy grin across his face.

Applejack was busy bucking her apples, until she saw the cup of soup person slowly teleporting to her. Whenever the cup of soup person would teleport, he would sometimes hide behind some trees, and sometime be out in the opening.

However, Applejack was quite confused to what was happening. Therefore, she slowly went towards the cup of soup person to see what was going on. However, that is where her first mistake was.

Then, when she got, as close to him as the cup of soup person wanted her to go, he trapped her in some type of darkness, and slowly devour her soul and peeled off her skin. Applejack was screaming in pain as to what was happening to her.

Eventually, Applejack died due to the pain that she was given. When the cup of soup person was done with her, he moved on with the animal scent that he picked up with his Swedish nose.

Eventually, he found where the source came from. The source came from Fluutershy’s place. When the cup of soup person saw Fluttershy feeding her animals and taking care of them with kindness, he slowly stretched, his neck out that looked like a giant dick.

Then, he eventually got close enough to her, that Fluttershy noticed the big dick like neck that was looking at her. Then, she ran away and was afraid to die.

She was trying to get into her own house, however, she forgot, she locked herself out and her pet bunny, Angel, was pissed at her for not sucking his bunny dick.

Therefore, Angel locked her out of the house and Fluttershy was planning to being locked out at the same time. When she remembered that she was locked out, she was doomed, until Rainbow Dash made a noise and punched the cup of soup person.

However, when the cup of soup person got punched, no blood came out at all. In fact, his neck was broken and he would be pretty much being dead by now.

However, since Rainbow Dash did not estimate the power of Royco’s cup of soup is, the cup of soup person got up and reattached his broken neck.

Then, he turned Rainbow Dash’s head into just like the cup of soup person’s head. He had just turned Rainbow Dash into his own slave. He told his slave, “Kill my pet. Kill for me.”

Then the slave Rainbow Dash then brutally murdered Fluttershy with a brick and bulged her face in.

Then, the cup of soup person somehow found out who the ruler of this land was, who was Princess Celestia.

He eventually found his way into Cantorlot and into Cantorlot castle, without being detected, like Sam Fisher from splinter Cell or Snake from metal Gear Solid.

When he did so, Celestia was in her throne room, alone, trying to relax after a hard day’s work. However, all of a sudden, the cup of soup person appeared right in front of her.

Celestia was a bit scared at first; however, she thought she was just seeing things.

However, the cup of soup then ripped off his shirt to reveal his muscular body. When Celestia saw this, she felt like she was going to cum, however, before she could do so, the cup of soup person grabbed a sword out of thin air and started to stab Celestria thousand times in the chest.

The cup of soup person stabbed through the night, and eventually killed Celestia, along with Luna, Cadence and any other guards that tried to stab him.

As dawn was upon the land of Equestria, somehow since Celestia was dead, the cup of soup person climbed to the top of the castle.

Then, as the sun was rising, somehow, he yelled throughout the land of Equestria, “God is Royco! Cup of soup!”

Then his pet slave, Rainbow Dash said, “Come, the wine is the same.”

Then, for a thousand years, the cup of soup person was the new ruler of Equestria, and ruled throughout the land.

He had brought peace and harmony, and even killed Equestria’s greatest of foes. He even established a better health system, that was even better then Obama care back on Earth.

He gave ponies more rights and their freedoms. Throughout the land, he was known as ‘the cup of soup guy the Great.’ However, only 11 people referred to him as that, since no one really cared about his reign over Equestria, and just concentrated on their own lives.

The lesson to the story is that beware of going into dirty bathrooms, for someone might be watching you taking a shit. That and don’t fuck with Swedish people.

THE END.

Author's Note

Hey... how do you pick up a Jewish girl?

With a dust pan...

Hey... what does the Chinese couple call their black baby?

Sum Ting Wong...

Hey... how do the Chinese name their babies?

By throwing a spoon down the stairs as it makes the noises Ching Chong Bing Bong...

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

A Virgin Mobile

I called a suicide hotline over in Iraq...

They got excited and asked me if I could drive a truck

What does Michael Angelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both painted the ceilings with their brain

What did the Hiroshima survivor say?

It was a blast...

I created a website for orphans,

But it doesn't have a home page...

What did the man with no hands get for Chirstmas?

I have no idea, he hasn't opened it yet

They say Jesus died a virgin, but that's false,

He got nailed before he died...

When a woman removes nail polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye,
but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...

What do you give an armless child for Chirstmas?

Nothing, they wouldn't be able to open it.

What has more brains than the Columbine students?

The wall behind them...

Jesus fed some people with five breads and three fish

But Hitler made 6 million toast

What gave Hitler a heart atack?

By seeing his gas bill

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them...

what would Hitler do if he had a Twitter account if it was around back then?

He would cancel cultures...

Who's is the famous Jewish cook in history?

Hitler...

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Me time...

Why was Hitler a great athlete?

He finished races...

How can a black man change a republican's view on abortion?

by getting his wife pregnant

How can you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up like an alter boy

How can you get a nice Jewish Girl's number?

By rolling up her sleeve...

What did the Ethiopian boy get on his birthday?

Flowers on his grave...

Why does Steven Hawking do one liners?

He can't do stand up...

What is the most confusing day in harem?

Father's Day

What do you give a black woman who had an abortion?

$500 from Crime Stoppers...

What's the difference between Santa and Jews?

Santa goes down the chimney...

What's black and dangerous to cut through?

The line at KFC...

Why do black people play basketball?

Cause they can run, shoot, and steal...

What did Hitler get his niece for her birthday?

An Easy Bake Oven...

How do you kill 100 Ethiopians?

By throwing a biscuit off the cliff...

What sound does an Asian Cowboy make when walking into a bar?

Chink chink chink...

What do you call two blacks in a sleeping bag

A Twix...

What do you call a Mexican with a sunburn?

A refried Bean...

What sound did the slot machine make when the Chinese guy won?

Cha Chink....

Why do Nazis prefer dentists?

They prefer whites...

A black guy and a mexicaan are in car, who's driving?

The cop...

The Titanic was built to last,

Just let that sink in...

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

well, you've got to hand it to her....

What do you call a Ethiopian with a feather up their ass?

A dart...

What do you call a black person running down the hill?

A Prison Break...

How does every Mexican recipe start?

Steal a chicken...

What did the little Mexican boy get for Christmas?

My bike...

Why aren't there any Petro Ricans on Star Trek?

I guess they won't work in the future either...

How do you confuse Hellen Keller?

By giving her a basketball to read...

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Mather Luther King Day?

On St. Patrick's Day, everyone wants to be Irish...

Why doesn't Mexico enter the Olympics?

Cause all of their best jumpers, runners, and swimmers are in America...

What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike?

An Ethiopian...

Why is a blowjob from an Ethiopian the best?

Cause you know she'll swallow...

How do you get 100 Jews into a car?

By throwing a quarter into a car...

How do you get them out?

By telling them Hitler is driving it...

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?

1. Two in the front. Two in the back. And 50 in the ash tray...

What word that starts with an N and ends with an R and is something that you don't want to call a black person?

Neighbor...

What do 3 million abused women did last year?

They didn't listen...

How do you get 20 black people into a Volkswagen?

By throwing a welfare check into it...

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?

Cause it wasn't born yesterday...

What is a difference between a British man and his girlfriend?

His girlfriend has a higher sperm count...

Who is the world's fastest readers?

9/11 jumpers; 110 stories in 5 seconds

A black guy and a Mexican jumps off a cliff, which one hits the ground first?

who cares...

If we can get Mosquito nets in Africa we can save Mosquitos needlessly dying from AIDs...

What do you call a fat Chinese guy?

A Chunk...

He missed a great opportunity . Instead of building inceineraders, he could have made huge blades and called it it...

Jewcers...

What happens when an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?

He breaks his nose...

What do you call a black priest?

Holy Shit...

What’s the difference between a black and an Asian? About 10 minutes in the oven…

Where do you put a black jew at? At the back of the ovens

What do you call 1000 Mexicans at the bottom of the sea? A good start.

What do you call 1000 Blacks at the bottom of the sea? An even better start

What do you call 1000 blacks buried up to their necks? Afro turf

How do you save a black from drowning? You take the boot off the head…

What’s the difference between the holocaust and a cow? You can’t milk a cow for 75 years…

I was eating her out, and then I tasted horse cum. I then said, “Oh grandma, so that’s how you died...

How do you get a gay man to have sex with a woman? You shit in her cunt….

What do you get when you cross a janitor and a jew? A Jew that thinks he owns the building…

Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Cause she wang the wong number…

I failed my biology test today. Turns out a black guy isn’t part of a cell…

What do you call a blind racist? A Nazi!

What do you call a German lesbian? A Kruat Muncher…

What’s the difference between Batman and a black guy? Batman can go into a store without Robin…

Why are monkeys always angry? Cause they know in 2 million years, they will be an igger…

Why didn’t Anne frank Finish her diary? She needed more Concentration…

What's worse than eating 12 oysters out of your grandma's pussy? Realizing you only put in 11...

How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you eat...

I asked my mother how to spell scrotum. She said to me that I should have asked her last night, it was on the tip of her tongue...

People are pushing to put a black person on the $20 bill. I'm just excited to use black people as currency again...

How do you kill 50 flies at once? By hitting an Ethiopian in the face...

All jokes are funny with the right delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery...

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot. the bar tender asks, "That looks exotic. Where'd you get it?" The parrot said, "From Africa..."

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews...

How do you circumcise a redneck? By kicking his sister in the jaw...

You know why Asian’s squint? Cause Nukes are bright

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan

Why can’t Mexicans play Uno? They always steal the Green cards

What sound does a Chinese make if it was a water sprinkler: ka ka ka, Chink chink chink

Why can’t the black guy eat? Their Snap card is under their work boots

Why don’t blacks like Country music? Whenever they hear the words Hoedown, they think their sister got shot

What is wrong with black sperm? One in a million work

What is the difference between a Mexican and a book? Book has papers, Mexican doesn’t

How do you save a black man from being run over by a car? You don’t…

What do a Jew and a pig have in common? They both get gassed!

How do you throw a Jew off a cliff? Throw a penny off the ledge!

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven!

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A boy scout comes home from camp!

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Depends how many are in the ash tray.

Why is child support for a red neck so confusing? Causer father and son are one in the same.

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 1 hand? The finish line at the Boston marathon…

My grandma was telling me how much my generation was relying on technology too much. I then said back to her, “No, your generation relies on technology too much.” And then I unplugged her life support…

Why Does everybody love Raymond? Cause he’s white. Why does everybody hate Chris? Cause he’s an igger…

Joke: What’s red and crawling up on your legs? A Homesick abortion…

What creature lives in America and among humans and walk on their knuckles? Knee Guards

Gender is like the Twin Towers. There used to be two, but then the Jews got involved

What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? “Knee-On”

What’s worse than fingering your sister? Finding your dad’s wedding ring in there…

How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad’s dick tastes like blood…

What did Cha Cha order at Star Bucks? A Nig Nog Lattee…

What’s the difference between a jew and a kayak? A kayak tips…

What does Hitler and a Boston runner have in common? Neither can finish a race…

I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was a good dog…

What do Italians and tires have in common? They both go wop wop wop…

What is blue and yellow at the bottom of the pool? A kid who’s floaties been slashed…

What is green and yellowish at the bottom of the pool? The same dead kid three weeks later…

These jokes are so dark, they could steal my bike...

I'll be here all night, don't forget to tip your waitresses over a cliff ~~and get rid of the evidence~~...