Chapters Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!
Aliens and Robots and Ponies, Oh My!
Seto Kaiba and Mokuba were by themselves. Marik, Yugi and Yugi’s friends were nowhere to be seen. If the same were true of Mokuba, Kaiba might have actually been happy about his situation. He opened his eyes and saw that he was in the middle of a grassy field. It was a bright and happy looking day, but Kiba cared little about that. Kaiba tried to stand up, but he felt weird, as if his muscles were realigned in different places. Then he noticed that he could no longer feel the duel disk on his right arm. He quickly turned his head to where his right arm should have been and gasped at what he saw. Not only was there no duel disk, there was also no hand! It was replaced with a soft, round hoof! When he looked for a few more moments he also processed that it was a sort of faded blue color. He looked were his left hand should have been and saw that it looked identical. He scrambled to his feet… hooves, and looked over the rest of his body that he could see. He had four legs with hoofs and no hands. His entire body was the same shade of blue. When he looked further he saw that he had a short, brown tail and the Kaiba Corp logo was imprinted on the side of his butt. “Oh my god, I have a tramp stamp!” He exclaimed.
His yelling made Mokuba wake up. He opened his eyes and sleepily looked over to his brother. He woke up very quickly when he saw that his brother was a pastel cartoon pony! “Seto!” He yelled. “You look cute! What’s going on? I’m scared!”
“I don’t know, Moku…” Kiba began, but stopped when he saw his little brother as a grey, cartoon foal with puffy black hair. “Oh, my god! I think this is one of Joey’s furry conventions!”
“But I don’t want to be a furry, Seto!” Mokuba cried.
“DON’T WORRY, MOKUBA!” Kaiba said with his heart racing. “All we have to do is stay calm and not make eye contact with any of them!”
Mokuba peered over Seto’s shoulder and saw a yellow pegasus with curly pink hair on the other side of the meadow. She was staring at them, but when Mokuba looked at her she squealed and jumped behind a rock. The rock was too small to completely conceal her, however.
“Seto!” Mokuba said nervously. “I think I just made eye contact with one of them! What do I do?”
Kaiba pushed Mokuba directly behind him and said, “Just stay behind me! I’m Seto Freaking Kaiba! There’s no way I’m gonna be scared of some furry!” He began to angrily step toward the yellow pony.
The pegasus was about to make a run for it when Kaiba stomped on her tail. “Just where do you think you’re going?” Asked Kaiba in a serious tone.
“Nowhere… I wasn’t going anywhere,” the pegasus answered in a hushed and nervous voice.
“I’m Seto Kaiba, and you’re going to answer my questions,” Kaiba ordered.
“Okay,” said the frightened pegasus.
“Tell me your name!”
“*Gulp* Fluttershy…”
“What are you doing here?”
“I was picking flowers…”
“WHAT COLOR!”
“Yellow, mostly.”
“Where are the other furries?”
“What’s a furry?” Fluttershy asked.
Kaiba got closer to her face and shouted, “DON’T PLAY STUPID WITH ME!”
“I’m sorry!” was all Fluttershy could say in response.
“Maybe this isn’t a furry convention, Seto,” Mokuba suggested.
“Shut up, Mokuba,” Kaiba ordered. He turned back to Fluttershy. “Tell me where we are!”
“You’re just outside of Ponyville. It’s a small town in Equestria,” She quickly answered.
‘Ponyville? Equestria?’ Kaiba thought, ‘I’ve definitely never heard of those places, and since I know everything, that means that…’ “That can’t be!” he shouted.
“Oh, but it can, and it is!” A new voice said. It sounded slightly mechanical and oddly familiar. It came from a robot that was standing directly behind Kaiba. It was humanoid in shape and had a cylinder shaped head with yellow eyes, a spiky metal Mohawk, and a long, beaklike mouth.
“What is that!” Fluttershy cried, shaking and pointing at the robot.
Kaiba answered, “Oh, that’s just a robot that shows up from time to time and tells me important, but usually irrelevant things about my past.”
The robot raised its mechanical hands in a dramatic fashion and said, “Yes, it is I, the Ghost of Christmas past from the future! I have come to reveal ancient plot twists from your past!”
“Fine…” Kaiba said complacently.
“You’re a g-ghost from the past?!” Fluttershy declared, frightened.
“Yes,” the machine stated. “And I am also a robot from the future!”
“Will you just tell me what you came here for?” Kaiba demanded. “My money is getting cold.”
“I will tell you!” Said the ghost of Christmas past from the future. “What you are about to hear will change the very fabric of your existence!”
“Whatever…”
“You see, Kaiba, THOUSANDS of years ago, before Ben Affleck was chosen to star as Batman in the upcoming Superman Versus Batman Movie, Equestria was ruled by an all powerful king! And that king was you in a past life!”
“Wait a second; I thought I was an ancient Egyptian priest or something.”
“You were also a pony king. Deal with it!”
“Neat.”
Fluttershy broke in, “This all seems very improbable…”
The robot continued, “As I was saying, aside from being a pony, this past you was exactly like you are now in every way!”
“Was my ego back then as big as it is now?”
“Yes!”
“Did I have a queen?”
“Yes!”
“Was she hot?”
“NOOO!!!” The robot shook his hands in protest. “Anyway, the ancient ponies of Equestria grew to hate your rule because you were a total douche bag!”
“That sounds about right.”
“They started a rebellion to kill you!”
“This is sounding awfully violent for a kids show.”
“However, when they entered your palace, they discovered the most horrible and unexpected plot twist in ancient history!”
“Let me guess. I was Ghost Nappa.”
“No! They discovered that you were in fact an ancient alien invader that looked exactly like a pony!”
“Ancient aliens!? Do you mean like the ones from the history channel?”
“Exactly like the ones from the history channel! Only not made up!”
Kaiba’s impatience grew. “Can you skip to the part of this story that I should care about?”
The robot lifted his arms again for added drama. “It was then that your biological daughter, Celestia, and your adopted daughter, Luna, created the Elements of Harmony, the only force in the galaxy that could defeat you, and banished you two Earth in the land of ancient Egypt! After that, you became a priest or something like that and discovered your destiny of defeating the pharaoh in a children’s card game! That makes sense, right? Because I could easily explain away any inconsistencies if you give me some time.”
“Here’s one. How did I become an Egyptian if I was an alien that looked like a pony?”
“Oh… You noticed that? I was hoping you would look over it. I know I did!”
“Answer the damn question!”
The robot stood still for a few moments before speaking again. “BECAUSE, The Elements of Harmony also turned you into a human!”
“Okay, so how is any of this information important?”
“I don’t know!”
Kaiba gave everything he had heard a moment of thought before coming to a realization. “WAIT! Does that mean that if I find the Elements Of Harmony, I can use them to get back to Japan and become a human?”
“I don’t know,” the robot said. “Probably. It’s worth a shot, man.”
“Wait,” Fluttershy interjected. “If Celestia was Kiba’s daughter but Luna was adopted, who was Luna’s father?”
“Ghost Nappa,” the robot immediately answered.
“Oh…”
“I must leave now,” the robot said. “Good luck to you in the future, and in the past!” After saying this, the machine exploded and parts flew all across the meadow.
“Oh, and of course he exploded,” Kaiba said.
MEANWHILE, AT THE THING AT THE PLACE
“This is FRIGGIN AWESOME!” Marik the light grey unicorn said as he admired his new body. “Forget Domino City! This is the place I want to rule over now!”
His minion was beside him with the same ridiculous hair style, only now he was an earth pony with a peach colored coat. “Attention, Master Marik!” He said, “My hair is now a mane!”
Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!
Yugi Knows All of His Friends
Yugi and his friends woke up on a dirt path that leads into a small town called Ponyville. Yugi was in control of his body again when he woke up and saw that he was a light brown pony with the same gigantic hair. “Oh my god!” He cried. “I look slightly more adorable than usual!”
‘This is terrible!’ Yami said from within Yugi’s mind. ‘Without hands, how will we play card games?’
‘I think we have more important problems than card games,’ Yugi replied.
‘Take that back!’ Yami demanded angrily.
Duke Devlin was the second to wake up. He was a light red unicorn with the same gorgeous hair and sparkling eyes he always had. “Duke Devlin is waking up feeling very sore,” He said. “But that’s just another day in the life of Duke Devlin.” He noticed his new form and shrugged. He was still ridiculously attractive and that was all he cared about. The rest was just details.
Joey woke up as a green pegasus the color of his jacket. “Nyeh! Am I still dreamin’?” He asked.
“No, Joey, I’m afraid this isn’t one of your furry dreams,” said Yugi.
Tristan and Tea were both earth ponies. Tea was pink, Tristan was light brown. “Hey, does anyone care about what we think?” Tristan asked.
“No,” Joey and Yugi said in unison.
“Well if you must know, I feel like having a sandwich,” Tristan said.
Ignoring Tristan, Yugi started to go over the situation. “So, apparently we’ve been sent to an alternate world where everyone looks like a pastel, cartoon pony, and if we can’t find Marik, we won’t be able to get back to Domino City!”
“Wait, Yug, aren’t you forgetting something?” Joey added. “What about Kaiba?”
“What about Kaiba?” Yugi replied.
“Trapped in a magical world of ponies without a way to get back,” Tea repeated. “Jeez, I’ve read fanfictions with better plots than this!”
“Tea, this is a fanfiction,” Yugi corrected.
Tea gasped, “It is!? Yay! That means that we can be shipped together!”
Yugi heard Yami’s voice repeating in his head, ‘God is dead! God is dead! God is dead! God is dead!’
“Hey, guys,” Duke said with one hoof extended toward the town. “My mojo is telling me that we need to go that way!”
“Is that where we can find the sandwiches?” asked Tristan.
“What? No, my mojo tells me where to find shemales that are relevant to the plotline!”
“Silly Duke,” said Tristan, “Shemales aren’t sandwiches!”
No one spoke for a moment before Yugi broke the silence. “So, Tristan, are you naturally this stupid, or is it something you have to strive for?”
Duke started to walk down the dirt path into Ponyville. “Come on guys; follow the sound of my theme music!” He instructed.
Yugi nodded and started to follow. “Come on guys, let’s bring sexy back!” He said.
_________________________________________
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE LIBRARY
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Spike and Twilight were all scouring the library, flipping through the pages of unread books and tossing them aside in a frantic rush.
No, no, NO!” Twilight yelled to her friends. “This doesn’t make any since! There isn’t anything in any of my books that even mention that ‘Ancient Evil from another world’ that Shadi described! Every book in here is about things that are from Equestria!”
“Well, that makes sense, don’t it?” Applejack added. “Can’t easily write a book about a place you’ve never been to. Maybe we’re approaching this the wrong way.”
Twilight was far from as calm as her friend. “We’re running out of time, and the odds of somepony knocking on my door, and explaining everything to us, are slim to…”
Three loud bangs on the library door interrupted Twilight’s rant. Following the nocks, was Tristan’s voice saying, “I demand a sandwich!”
Yugi’s voice replied, “Hey, Tristan, do you remember back in season one when you were actually funny?”
Rarity was the closest to the door. “I wonder who that could be,” she thought out loud before using her unicorn magic to turn the knob on Twilight’s door and pull it open.
Yugi and Tristan were standing in the front of their group at the door. If it weren’t for how adorably short Yugi was, his ridiculous hair would have blocked his other friends from view to the ponies inside the library.
Yugi looked back at Duke and asked, “Are you sure these characters are relevant to the plot?”
“Trust me, Yugi,” said Duke, “My mojo never lies!”
“These ponies’ hairstyles aren’t nearly ridiculous enough to be main characters!” Yugi observed. “Well, maybe except for the guy in the back with the rainbow hair…”
“I’m a girl,” Rainbow Dash corrected angrily.
“I don’t believe you!” Tristan yelled.
Twilight’s eyes were fixated on Yugi’s Millennium Puzzle, which dangled from his neck and nearly touched the ground. ‘Those intricate carvings and symbols…’ She thought, ‘It certainly looks ancient, and it looks like it’s not from Equestria. Is that the evil Shadi was talking about?’
“Feel free to come on in!” Pinkie Pie invited, interrupting Twilight’s thought. The five visitors stepped inside, looking around at the interior of the small library.
The silence didn’t last for long when Tristan saw spike picking up a pile of books. “Look, guys!” He said. “That thing looks like a purple dinosaur, and I sound like a purple dinosaur! We should hang out!”
“No one wants to hang out with you, Tristan!” Joey said bitterly.
“Thanks, Obama,” said Tristan sadly.
“OOOH! OOOH!” Pinkie yelled excitedly, catching everyone’s attention. “That’s Spike! He’s not a dinosaur, he’s a baby dragon!”
“Can you imagine a dragon that isn’t a trading card?” Yugi asked to Joey.
“That’s pretty f***ed up, Yug.”
“Pretty f***ed up, Joey.”
Pinkie Pie continued naming her friends. “The one that looks like a marshmallow is Rarity. The one with the rainbow hair is Rainbow Dash. The one with that supper cool hat is Applejack. The purple one in the back who reads a lot is Twilight; and IIIIIIIIIIII’M PINKIE PIE! ~Squee~” she smiled inches away from Yugi’s face.
“Right, I’m Yugi Moto. The fact that my name is more ridiculous than all of my friends means that I’m the main character.” Yugi said. He started to list the names of his friends, each of them saying something after their names were called. “This is Tristan…”
“The pretty one!”
“Joey…”
“De-nyeh?”
“Tea…”
“Penguins! …I mean hi.”
“And this is um… Uh…” Yugi stuttered, trying to think of Duke’s name.
Duke looked annoyed and said his own name. “Duke.”
“Yeah, right, of course! Duke! I knew that…” said Yugi nervously.
“You didn’t even know my name!” Duke said calmly, but still angrily.
“Of course I know your name… D… Daniel?”
“It’s Duke.”
“Yes, Duke, that’s what I said.”
Tristan pointed to Duke and said, “He’s also a witch!”
“For the last time, Tristan, I am not a witch!”
“What about that time you turned me into a robot monkey? Huh?”
“That wasn’t me! That was that weird robot guy!”
Tristan turned away in disgust. “Please! I think I would remember something like that, witch!”
While Duke and Tristan were arguing, Rarity made her way closer to Yugi with her eyes on his impressive mane. “I must say, darling, I simply love the way you’ve styled your mane!” She complimented, making a very jealous Tea start to flare up. “It’s just so… Exotic! What product do you use to keep it that way?”
Yugi was about to answer when Tea jumped between them and glared into Rarity’s eyes saying, “Back off, you purple haired hussy! That’s my future husband!”
“Tea, calm down!” Yugi insisted.
“Shut your penguins!” Tea barked.
“What?” asked Yugi.
“I mean, penguin your mouth!”
“Huh?”
“I mean, penguin your penguins!”
“Oh, okay.”
“QUIET!!!” Twilight yelled, breaking up all of the small conversations and pointless running gags that were distracting the room. “I don’t mean to be rude, Yugi, but if you and your friends don’t have anything important to say, I’m going to have to ask you and your friends to leave!”
“Jeez, what’s got you in such a rush?” asked Yugi.
Twilight took in one deep breath and began to speak at a rapid pace. “Because, a guy in a turban who came out of nowhere and knocked on my door told me that there was an ancient evil coming, and I don’t know what it is, and he didn’t what is, and he said it would come at two PM, and that was nearly an hour ago, and I can’t find anything in my books about it!!!”
Yugi and his friends just stared at her for a moment without a response before Yugi said, “Wow, she talks even more than you do, Tea.”
Tea replied, “Actually, I…”
“Shut up,” Yugi interrupted. “Twilight, I think I might know what it was that that guy with a turban was talking about.”
“Guy with a turban…” Tristan thought out loud. “Hey, wait a minute! That sounds like my fairy godmother that saved me and Duke from falling off of that blimp!”
“Tristan, I don’t know how to tell you this, but that wasn’t your fairy godmother,” said Duke.
“SHUT UP, YOU LIEING WITCH!” Tristan barked back.
Twilight slowly calmed down from her nervous rage. “If you have any idea at all of what that stallion was talking about. It would be greatly appreciated,” she said.
Yugi said, “I’m almost certain he was referring to Marik Ishtar. He’s the one who sent us here! But… He also could have been talking about Kaiba… After all he cheated in a card game, and that’s unforgivable!”
Joey added, “Yugi, everyone in this show cheats, including you!”
“Okay, fine!” Yugi admitted. “He was talking about Marik.”
“I need you to tell me everything you can about Marik,” Twilight requested.
“Okay,” said Yugi, “but only on the condition that I get all of the screen time while I tell you.”
Thus, Yugi explained everything that Marik had done from season two up until then from his limited perspective. Twilight got the impression that Marik, although evil, was also not very intelligent; and his counterpart, Melvin, was the real threat. She had to stop him!
“We should probably go find Fluttershy, yall!” said Applejack. “T’aint safe for her to be off on her own with all these crazies runnin’ about!”
“Right!” Twilight agreed. “And I’ll need all of you to come with us.”
“Where’s Spike and that Duke fellow?” asked Rarity, noticing that they were no longer in the library.
“They went outside to talk,” Tea explained.
“Which one was Spike again?” asked Yugi.
“He was the purple dragon,” Joey answered.
“Oh… and who the hell is Duke?”
Outside of the library, Duke and Spike were having a short talk.
“So, you want to learn how to get girls like me?” Duke summarized.
“Yes!” Spike said excitedly. “That’s what I want really, really badly!”
“Well then here’s a few tips,” said Duke. “Tip one: Be Duke Devlin.”
Spike put on a blank look of confusion. “I don’t think I can do that one.”
“Yeah,” Duke agreed. “I’m the only person who’s ever been able to pull that one off.”
“Do you have any other tips?” asked spike hopefully.
“Hmmm… Nope. That first one was really all I’ve ever needed.”
“…Gee… Thanks…”
Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!
This fanfiction shamelessly steals LittleKuriboh’s jokes about half as much as Naruto: The Abridged Series! I think I’m going to be sick.
_______________________________________________
After meeting up with Duke and Spike again, Twilight’s and her friends and Yugi’s group where all together outside of the library.
“So, where you come from, you walk on two legs and you’re called humans?” Rainbow Dash asked to Joey after pondering Yugi’s story.
“Yeah, and we have ponies there too,” Joey elaborated. “Except, they’re really ugly and stupid. Kind of like Tristan.”
“I AM AN OCTAPUS!” Tristan yelled.
“Twilight, let me come with you guys,” Spike pleaded to Twilight.
“No, Spike, it’s too dangerous,” Twilight said lovingly. “I need you to stay back at the library.”
Spike sighed. What Twilight said was exactly what he expected. He pushed open the door to the library and waddled inside. Closing the door once he was all the way inside.
“Wow, he must be like the Tristan of their group, only they actually care about him instead of laughing at his expense,” Joey commented.
“I just want to know what love is! I want you to show me the way!” Tristan blurted.
Twilight went back to staring at Yugi’s Millennium Puzzle. “What does that… do, exactly?” She asked Yugi as she nudged the pyramid shape with the tip of her hoof. “I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything like that.”
“Well, it has the soul of an ancient Pharaoh contained inside of it, but I suppose the only way for me to really explain what it does is for me to show you,” Yugi said with the puzzle cradled in his hooves. He closed his eyes and a golden light shone from the puzzle once again. Twilight took a few steps back and prepared herself for anything. Yugi cried out, “Super sexy alter ego transformation sequence, GO!” The light from the pyramid engulfed him and quickly vanished, leaving him a much taller and less adorable version of himself.
“That’s right, bitches,” Yami said. “I’m bringing sexy back!”
“Bitch, please,” Duke retorted.
“OH MY GOD! HIS VOICE CHANGED AND HE GOT TALLER!” Tristan yelled. “HOW DID HE DO THAT!?”
“Tristan, you’ve seen Yugi Transform like, a million times!” Joey said in frustration toward his slow friend.
Tristan continued to yell. “Holy f*** on a s*** sandwich, Joey! You’re a pegasus! When did that happen?”
“Have you been paying attention to anything?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“OH MY GOD! …You can talk!”
“Just ignore Tristan and hope that he dies soon,” Yami instructed. “That’s what all of us do.”
“Yugi! What happened to your voice!?!?” Tristan asked again.
Twilight inspected Yugi with her eyes. He had clearly changed a lot, not just his voice and appearance, any simple magic could do that, but his personality had changed as well. “That was pretty impressive,” Twilight said genuinely. “But are any of you good for anything aside from recycling old catchphrases?”
“Of course I am!” Yami said defensively, “I’ll have you know that I’m the King of Card Games! Just point me to a villain playing a card game. I’ll kick his ass!”
“Villains here don’t play card games…” Twilight said.
“Really? Huh… That’s usually what villains do.”
“Where did you say you were from again?”
“It doesn’t matter!” Yami said with renewed confidence. “After all, the only thing you need to beat a villain is extreme manliness! And most of the members of our group are guys! There’s Me, Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Duke, Rainbow Dash…”
“Actually, Yugi, Rainbow Dash is a girl…” Joey corrected.
“What? Tha’s crazy! I mean he acts so much like a boy…”
“Totally a girl,” said Joey.
“Tha’s crazy!” Yami repeated. “What about Applejack? Is he a…”
“Also a girl.”
“Tha’s crazy! What about Spike?”
“He’s a guy.”
“Oh… Tha’s crazy!” Yami said again. “Well, now that we got all of that out of the way, I suppose we should be thinking of a plan… But tha’s crazy!”
Marik’s minion, the stallion with sunglasses and a ridiculously tall spike in his hair casually walked beside the group as they listened to Yami talk, though it was pretty obvious that he wasn’t a normal pony, due mostly to the fact that his hair was roughly a third the length of his entire body (including his legs). Pinkie Pie was on the outside of the group. She was, as it turns out, the exact mare he was looking for. He readied himself and remembered everything that he had learned in those child grabbing lessons. “Attention duelists!” He yelled, grabbing everyone’s attention as they turned to face him. “My hair is assaulting you!” He leapt at Pinky and used his hoofs to hook under her front legs and put her in a full Nelson. Causing them both to stagger back into a standing position on their back legs.
“Holy unnecessary cameo!” Yami yelled. “It’s one of the guards from Pegasus’s castle! The one who’s hair is almost as stupid as mine… but I make it work. I mean look at me! I am one damn handsome stallion…”
“Yugi, focus!” Joey ordered.
Yami snapped back into action. “Right! Villains! Danger!”
“My hair is under Marik’s control!” The henchman said.
“This isn’t fun at all!” Pinkie struggled to say.
“She’s not having fun… YOU MONSTER!” Yami cried.
“Seriously,” Twilight said. “How do so many of you have gravity defying hair styles?”
“L’Oreal, because my hair is worth it,” The henchman said. “I think we’ve already done that joke at least two times.”
“Wait a second,” said Joey, “How did Marik get control of you in the first place?”
“My hair is named Steve!”
“Oh… Figures.”
“Did ah miss somethin’?” asked Applejack.
Yami explained, “Marik can control the minds of anyone he wants with his Millennium Rod; but it only works if they’re named Steve!”
“Well, that’s just silly!” Applejack commented.
“Did you just insult my hair?” the henchman asked angrily.
“Um… no.”
“You did, didn’t you! My hair will make you pay for that!” the henchman barked. He was about to drop Pinkie and attack Applejack, but a voice from a few feet behind him told him to stop.
“There’s no need for that, Steve,” Marik commanded. He stepped forward revealing his unicorn form, covered in jewelry. His Millennium Rod levitated in front of him. “Ha-ha! Look at all of you! It’s funny because you’re naked!”
“You’re naked too,” said Yami.
“NO I’M NOT!” Marik insisted. “Look at all of the jewelry I’m wearing! See? Totally not naked! Besides, even if I were naked, I have fangirls which means I’m allowed to be. With you guys it’s just creepy.”
The henchman gradually stepped back to Marik’s side with Pinkie still in his grasp.
“I hope you jerks don’t think we’re going to let you get away with her!” Rainbow Dash said aggressively. She shot up into the air and flew at the crazy haired henchmen like a bullet.
Marik lifted his shiny rod and its eye glowed bright yellow. Rainbow Dash was immediately covered in yellow squiggly lines and fell to the ground like a sack of rocks, grunting in pain, then fell unconscious.
Tristan cried, “Dashie, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Dashie?”
“She’s been hit by… She’s been struck by… a smooth criminal!” Joey added.
“Your obligatory pop culture reference moves me,” said Marik. “Unfortunately, wee have to leave now! See you soon, Pharaoh!” The henchman delivered a stunning blow to the back of Pinkies head, knocking her out; then he slung her onto his back. “Just to make sure you won’t follow me, here’s a little parting gift.” Marik activated his rod and the ground in front of him became covered in shadow. Three, dark, ponylike figures emerged from the shadow. They were completely featureless and black. Marik and his minion made a hasty escape while the others were occupied.
“THIS PLACE SUCKS!” One of the shadow figures said.
“OP IS A FAGGOT!” said another.
“GO KILL YOURSELF, OP!”
“JOHN MADDEN! JOHN MADDEN! JOHN MADDEN!”
“Oh my multiple gods!” said Yami. “It’s a 4Chan Image board!”
“THIS FANFICTION SUCKS!”
“LANIPATOR IS THE ONLY ONE OF THOSE ABRIDGED SERIES FAGGOTS WITH ANY TALLENT!”
“ISHIZU ISHTAR RULE 34 IS HOT!”
“I’M A FAILURE IN REAL LIFE, SO I’M AN ASSHOLE ON THE INTERNET TO GET ATTENTION!”
Yami stepped back and bore a look of determination. “We can win this, Joey!” He said, “All we have to do is believe in the heart of the cards and…”
“Um, Yugi,” Joey interrupted.
“Damn it, Joey! Don’t interrupt me when I’m monologue-ing!”
“But Yugi, look!” Joey said and pointed to where the shadow ponies had been. Rarity, Applejack and Twilight were each beating one of the creatures senseless with powerful punches and kicks.
“Those girls are better at fighting than we are…” Joey said without any pride.
“I know,” Yami agreed. “Those girls are better at beating men than Mai Valentine. Am I right?”
“Yug, stop making those nasty jokes about her! She’s in a coma!”
“Yes, but am I right?”
“It’s not right to talk about her that way.”
“JOEY… Am I right?”
“I’m not gonna respond to this any mo...”
“Tell me!”
During the time that it took for Joey and Yami to have that conversation, the three girls had beaten the shadowy figures to a pulp, after which they dissipated and returned to the shadowy depths of the internet.
“That little distraction worked,” Applejack said through batted breath. “That Marik creep got away, and he got Pinkie! She’s been kidnapped!”
“Pinkie Pie must be like the Mokuba of their group,” said Tristan.
“Shut up, Spike,” said Yami.
“YOU FIVE ARE USELESS!” Twilight yelled.
“Maybe so, but at least I’m better than Kaiba,” said Yami.
At that moment, Kaiba, Mokuba and Fluttershy came running into their view.
“Oh look, some random failure and his two friends are coming to visit,” said Yami. “Say hi to the loser, kids.”
“Hi, loser!” Tristan said enthusiastically.
“Good boy, Spike!”
“Oh my goodness!” Fluttershy squealed. “We heard fighting! And there was yelling, and… oh, I hope all of you are alright!”
“Not exactly,” said Twilight. “They took Pinkie Pie!”
“Pinkie Pie’s been Fillynapped? Oh, this day has just turned out so awful!”
Yami shifted his attention to Seto Kaiba. “Kaiba…”
“Yugi…” Kaiba replied.
“Kaiba…” said Joey.
Kaiba looked to Joey. “Wheeler…”
Joey looked to his left. “Tea…”
Tea looked back to Yami. “Yugi…”
Yami turned his head to Tea. “Tea…”
“TRISTAN!” Tristan blurted out.
“I don’t have time for any of you dweebs!” Kaiba said bitterly. “This yellow pegasus tells me that this is the place to find Twilight Sparkle, the only pony in this town who can tell me the whereabouts of the Elements of Harmony!”
“Why are you looking for the Elements of Harmony?” asked Tea.
“Because a robot from the future told me to!”
“Seems legit,” said Tristan.
“The Elements can’t work,” said Twilight.
“Bitch say what, now?” asked Kaiba.
“Marik just took Pinkie Pie.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So, without all six of us, the Elements don’t work.”
“… FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-”
Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!
This fanfiction was written in front of a live studio audience of fangirls. IT WAS TERRIFYING!!!
________________________________________
"Here we are at Everfree Forest," Joey announced, repeating his annoying habit of announcing where they were every time something changed. The were all walking through a narrow path of brush, and had to file into a one or two pony line behind the henchman.
"Attention duelists!" The henchman said loudly. "My hair is definitely not leading you into a trap!"
"You'd better be telling us the truth!" Rainbow Dash said through gritted teeth, "Because, I'll make you regret this if you are!"
They followed the henchman out of the brush and into a clearing where the sun could be seen. The dirt ground transitioned to gravel and lead to the edge of a deep, flowing river. Twilight couldn't help but notice that this area seemed very familiar. Marik was standing a few inches from the edge of the water.
"Here we are at river clearing," Joey narrated.
"Good job, Steve," Marik said to his henchman. The henchman quickly sprinted to Marik's side, due mostly to the look Rainbow Dash had just given him. "You brought all of them to me! Prepare to be destroyed once and for all, binky boy!"
"Yug! Transform into your sexy alter ego!" Joey ordered.
Yugi nodded and let Yami take over again. "Puberty Power!!!" His form changed back to Yami's appearance with a look of cool confidence.
"OH MY GOD!" Tristan exclaimed. "Yugi just got taller! I didn't know he could do that!"
"What happened?" Yami asked.
"You mean you couldn't see what was going on?" Rarity asked.
"No, I just wasn't paying any attention! I have Nintendo in there now!"
"Then allow me to recap, Pharaoh!" Said Marik. "You're about to lose!"
"Nice try, Marik, but I never lose!" Yami replied, "You should try beating Jaden Yuki. It'd be a whole lot easier."
"Where's Pinkie? Tell me what you've done to her!" Twilight demanded.
"You'll see soon enough!" Marik yelled. "You'll all see!" He lifted his Millenium Rod toward the sun and it emitted its golden light. The others struggled to keep their eyes opened in the blinding light. A long serpent like form emerged from the water, purple with well groomed hair, small claws and blank, zombie like eyes. "You are on the way to destruction, binky boy!" Said Marik.
"What you say???" Yami yelled.
The sea serpent lowered its head to the gravel ground. Marik sepped in top of its scalp, balancing with the aid if its puffy hair. The serpent raised tis enormous head again, this time with Marik standing on top of it. "Tremble before me!" He commanded. "For I, Marik Ishtar, have gained control over the most fabulous of all Steves! Steven Magnet! You have no chance to survive make your time!"
"What's with all the bad grammar?" Twilight asked.
"Somebody set us up the bomb!" Tristan cried.
"Enough of these dead meme references!" Marik commanded. "Prepare to be destroyed by my fabulous sea serpent!"
"Is that thing supposed to be scary?" Yami mocked.
"You're just jealous of his mustache!" Said Marik.
"Am not!" Yami said defiantly. 'Damn it! How did he know my secret?' He thought.
"So, this is seriously your big plan?" Twilight inquired. "You're going to kill us with a sea serpent that can't even leave the water..."
"What!? Who said anything about killing?" Asked Marik. "I just wanted to destroy you a little bit! Jeez! Why do you have to take everything the wrong way?"
Yami pointed his left front hoof at Marik in a needlessly dramatic fashion. "Face it, Marik, all of your plans are terrible! You are by far the worst villain ever! Your plans are bad and you should feel bad!"
Marik shouted back in anger. "At least I don't inhabit the body of a little boy!"
"You smell like a catfish!"
"You look like a catfish!"
"I hate you!"
"I hate you more!"
Tristan shouted to both of them, "Oh, just f*** already!"
"I don't have time for this!" Twilight shouted. Her horn was beginning to glow purple, ready for action. "Tell us where Pinkie Pie is! Because if I have to be with these seven idiots for any longer than I have to, I can't be held responsible for what I do to them!"
"I'm not going to stop her," Fluttershy admitted.
"FINE!" Marik yelled, "You want to see your friend! I will show you your friend? I will! But I must warn you, she has been corrupted by my rod!"
"Oh my..." Duke said.
"What? NO! NOT LIKE THAT! MY MILLENNIUM ROD, YOU FRIGGIN PERVERT! I would never do something like that to a lady!"
"Yes, we all know that you're gay," Yami said.
"I'M NOT FRIGGIN GAY!" Marik screamed.
Rarity said, "You do seem to be wearing a lot of jewelry."
"Yeah, and you're always hanging out with that Bakura guy!" Joey added.
"I'm ignoring you, now!" Marik announced as he used his front hooves to cover his ears. "Now, back to your friend Pinkie Pie!" He tilted his Millennium rod toward the water and commanded, "Rise, Stevie Pie!"
A disturbance in the water caused several bubbles to surface. The top of Pinkie Pie's unmistakable pink hair broke the surface of the water. She slowly walked out of the water revealing her entire body. She looked exactly the same as before aside from a vacant expression on her face.
"She was underwater this whole time?" Yami asked skeptically.
"Yes! It was done for dramatic effect!"
"How was she breathing?" Twilight asked.
"And why is her hair not wet?" Yami added.
"...I don't know..." said Marik. "I'm assuming the writers didn't really care that much."
Fluttershy sighed in relief, "Who cares about her hair? At least she's okay... right?"
"Oh, yes!" Marik said, "She's perfectly fine."
"I agree," said Duke.
"SHUT UP, DUKE!" Marik yelled. He held out his rod to pinkie and ordered, "Say hi to your friends, Stevie Pie!"
"They tuk ur jobs..." Pinkie moaned with a vacant expression.
"Holy Ra! She's been completely brainwashed!" Yami exclaimed.
"Now for phase two of my brilliant plan!" Marik announced.
"And what would that be?" Asked Yami.
"I... don't know... I kind of expected to fail by now..." Marik admitted.
"Allow me to help you with that!" Rainbow dash yelled. She had had enough of all of the pointless talking. She burst into the air with one hoof outstretched. Marik had no time to react, mostly because he wasn't expecting someone to actually do something. She flew her hoof straight into Marik's face, knocking him off of the sea serpents head and into the water. He barely had enough time to let out a girly scream.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy and Rarity were trying to pull Pinkie Pie back to the rest of the group, but she was resisting them. She seemed to be doing everything she could to stay exactly where she was, only obeying Marik's instructions.
Rainbow Dash hovered high above the water, her eyes fixed on the place where Marik had fallen. "That was way too easy." She said.
"Actually, with Marik it usually is that easy," Yami informed.
Marik emerged from the water in the same manner that Pinkie Pie had, breaking the surface and walking onto the gravel shore. He looked unmistakably different. His hair was spiked out in all directions, his eyes had a sinister glare, and a golden light in the shape of an eye adorned his forehead. His voice had a sinister echo. He pointed to the side of his cheek where Rainbow Dash had punched him and said, "Thank you, sir, can I have another?"
"I AM NOT A SIR!" Rainbow Dash shouted.
"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" Tristan shouted back.
"Ewww! What happened to his mane?" Rarity asked.
"Oh my gods!" Yami exclaimed. "That isn't Marik! He's become his evil alter ego, Melvin! No doubt the next thing he says will be diabolically evil!"
Melvin looked up at the sky. "This world is so pretty," he said.
"TAKE THAT BACK!!!" Yami depended.
Marik pointed his rod at Fluttershy and Rarity, who were now desperately trying to move Pinkie. "Hey, you two, care for a joke?" He said, causing both of them to jump and slowly turn to face him. "Knock knock," he said.
"Um... who's... there?" Fluttershy asked timidly.
Melvin's rod glowed and Rarity and Fluttershy were covered in ancient Egyptian squiggly lines. They were lifted off the ground and flung into a tree, both of them falling out of consciousness before Melvin delivered the end of his joke. "Pain. Get it?"
"I get it!" Tristan shouted. "It was funny!"
Marik turned his rod toward Twilight. "Say hello to Naruto: The Abridged Series in the afterlife for me!" He said.
Rainbow Dash burst into action, diving straight down toward Melvin to take away his Millennium Rod. Melvin saw her coming and jumped out of the way when it was too late for her to stop. She flew strait into the ground, dragging her chin through the ground a few feet before coming to a stop.
Melvin stood over her and pulled the head off of his rod, revealing that it had a stabbing tool imbedded in it. "Say hi to mister stabby," He said. "and prepare to experience what one of my famous hugs feels like!"
"I'm actually going to do something for once!" Tristan yelled. He charged strait at Melvin crying, "My voice gives me super strength!"
"Bitch, please," Melvin said. He used his Millennium rod to lift Rainbow Dash and hurl her at Tristan, knocking him down in his tracks and stunning both of them.
"Congratulations, Tristan," said Joey. "You were slightly more ineffectual than usual."
"Thanks, Obama," Tristan said weakly.
Melvin reassembled his rod and pointed it toward Mokuba, Kaiba, Tea and Duke.
"Wait!" Kaiba shouted. "Tristan's not dead yet! You should finish that first! You can't kill me! I haven't had enough lines yet!"
Melvin chuckled and used his rod to fling the four of them into the trees behind them with more ancient Egyptian squiggly lines.
Twilight, Applejack, Joey and Yami were the only three who were still able to fight. "I'm not giving up!" Twiight said. She fired a beam of magic out of her horn that Melvn was easily able to deflect with his rod.
"We shall finish this," Melvin said, "But let's wait for the next chapter. This one's been going a tad long."
Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!
There aren't actually any card games in this chapter! I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT, SUPAHSNAIL!
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MEANWHILE, DEEP BENEATH THE SURFACE OF THE OCEAN
Dartz stood proudly before his three loyal minions, Raphael, Valon and Alister. His long hair was a bright shade of orange. "My fwiends," he said. His hair color had changed to yellow. "Do anay of yew knaw why I am so excited today? I'm so excited, it's like I got ten pounds of excitement in a five pound bayg! This is a momentamuos... monempous... mamupitous... Aww, you know! It's a weawy impowtant day, mayyyn!"
"Tell us, oh great and powerful Dartz!" Alister requested. "Why are you so happy today?"
"No, mayn," Dartz said. His hair was green. "Yew gotta guess first, mayn. Fiwst, yew guess, then I tell yew! That's how it wowks."
"You're glad that you get to have a pointless cameo appearance in this fanfiction?" Rafael guessed.
"Of couwse not, mayn!" Dartz snapped. His hair had changed to purple. "Ain't nobody gonna be weadin' this cwayep!"
"It's better than your Rarijack fanfiction," Valon quipped.
"Shut yow face, douchebayeg!" Dartz ordered. He had grey hair. "Wawijayek is the most fantabuwous ship in the wowld, mayn! Evewyboday woves Wawijayek, mayn!"
"Not really," Valon said.
"Nobody really likes Rarijack, boss," said Alister.
"Yeah, that ship makes way too much sense for the fans to actually care about it," Rafael added.
"Cayn it, douchebayegs!" Dartz ordered. "Y'aw betta keep y'aw mouths shut about Wawijayek! If any of y'aw say anythan' bayd about Wawijayek from now on, I'm gonna dick you!"
"...What?" Rafael asked in complete confusion.
"Can't y'aw understand pwain engwish?" Dartz asked. His hair was purple again. "I said I'm gonna dick yew, mayn! Dick yew hawd! Dick yew stwait in the jaw! I'w dick you so hawd that it wiw weave a visibwe mawk on yow face!"
"Wait, is the boss sayin' deck or d**k?" Valon asked.
"DEEEEEEIIIIIIIICK!!!" Dartz said loudly, trying to enunciate the word "deck."
"Okay, okay, we get it!" Rafael insisted.
"Mayn, I don't think yew do get it," Dartz said with blue hair. "Wawijayek is the second beyst ship in the whowe wowld! Aynd yew wiw addwess it as such!"
"What's the first best, oh great and powerful Dartz?" Alister asked.
"Skydowsminecwaft x Deadwox!"
"I'm not even going to comment on that..." Said Rafael.
Dartz had green hair. "Yew betta nawt! Skywox is beyst ship, and yew wiw wespect it! ...Yeah, now, down to business. May Wittuw Po-nay got themselves a new episode comin' on in about an houw... AND WE GONNA WAWTCH IT!"
"Seriously?" Rafael asked, "You called an evil meeting... At the bottom of the ocean... For that?"
"PO-NAYS IS SEWIOUS BUSINESS, MAYN!!!"
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ALSO MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE TOOLSHED! (Also referred to as Yugi's grandfather's card shop)
Yugi's Grandfather was intently watching his TV on his desk. "I can't remember how to get home." He narrated to himself, "I might as well stay here and watch cartoons! Then, I'll have some special time with my Black Luster Soldier... What was I doing again? ...Where am I?"
An ominous, ghostlike voice came from his Black Luster Soldier poster. "But mister Moto, don't you want to give me more of your love now? I thirst for more life force!"
"Shut up, Black Luster Soldier!" The old man snapped. "I'll get to you later! Nobody interrupts pony time!"
_________________________________________________
MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN EGYPT
Maximillion Pegasus, Florence, and the Dark Lord Zorc were the only three villains attending that week's evil council meeting. They had decided that sense Marik was gone, the normal counsel meeting had lost its entertainment value that was the only reason they really came there.
"Well... This is kind of boring..." Florence commented.
"I know something we could do for fun!" Zorc said.
"And what might that be, Zorc?" Asked Pegasus.
"We could destroy the world!" Said Zorc. The sound of canned laughter played in the background, wich happened every time Zorc said his catchphrase.
Pegasus began fake laughing, "Ha ha ha... Ha ha... Ha... Can I have my Millenium Eye back, now?"
"No," Florence quickly responded.
"Fine then," Pegasus said, "Have it your way, Bakura. I suppose we should at least find something to do with our time."
"Let me guess," Florence said. "You want to watch the Spice Girls movie."
"Well, it's a whole lot better than Cannibal Holocaust!"
"That movie is a piece of cinematic gold!" Florence said angrily.
"I disagree," said Pegasus. "It's so unfabulous!"
"Yeah, and we've already watched it like a bajillion times!" Zorc exaggerated.
"Fine," Florence said frustrated. "What do you want us to watch?"
"As it turns out," Pegsus suggested. "My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic is coming out with a new episode in a manner of minutes."
"No..." Florence said.
"It's going to be about the Cutie Mark Crusaders..."
"No, no!"
"AND it's going to have two new songs in it!"
"NONONONONONONONO!" Florence yelled defiantly.
"Oh, come now, Bakura, it isn't that bad," Pegasus insisted.
"NO!" Yelled Florence stubbornly. "If I'm exposed to too much friendship at one time, I die!"
"Come on, buddy!" Said Zorc. "Most people love this show when they give it a chance!"
"You watch it too!?"
"Of course!" Said Zorc. "I like it almost as much as destroying the world!" When he said this, more canned laughter played in the background.
"Okay, fine!" Florence said, "As long as I can wear a blindfold."
"Ooh, Bakura!" Pegasus giggled. "I had no idea you had it in you!"
"We're still talking about the cartoon, right?"
"Oh... Right... The cartoon."
_________________________________________________
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE STORY YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT
Joey, Yami, Applejack and Twilight stood in a line, facing Melvin, all poised for action. "Joey," Yami said to his friend. "Give us some action music!"
"You got it!" Joey said. "IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN! Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh! Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh! Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh! Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh... nyeh-nyeh... nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh... nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh!"
"Now, listen in horror, Pharaoh!" Melvin commanded. "As I tell you my entire evil plan... For no reason!"
"Well, you'd better make it quick," said Yami. "Because all of those pointless cameos just took up about half of the chapter."
"Or we could just attack you while you're talking," Applejack pointed out.
"No, you Musn't!" Said Yami. "It's anime law! Once a character begins a monologue, all other characters must wait until he is finished!"
"That's right, binky boy!" Said Melvin. "To explain my plan, I first must explain what Marik was trying to do."
"Marik had a plan?" Yami asked in shock.
"Well... Kind of," Melvin explained. "It wasn't very good. Marik originally planned to trap you in this world. However, he was stuck here to by accident. The Millennium Rod was easily able to send him here because our dimension has no fourth wall! However, this world has a very thick fourth wall, making it impossible to gain access to other T.V. shows!"
"What's a T.V. show?" Twilight asked.
"You're a T.V. show!" Yami answered with unnecessary yelling.
"Yes, but what is it?"
"YOU ARE!"
"Yes..." Marik said. "Anyway, Marik needed a way to break the fourth wall, he planned to use your pink friend's unusual abilities to bypass the fourth wall in order to return to Domino City and leave you stranded here."
"Then why didn't he just do that instead of getting all of us to come over here and fight him?" Yami asked.
"Because he's stupid," Melvin stated. "Now for my plan. I knew that foolishly foolish fool Marik would foolishly fail in a foolish way at some point. I have uses for the pink one as well, but instead of using her to escape, I'm going to use her to bring something here! Something so evil you can not possibly imagine it!"
"TELL ME!" Yami demanded.
"I was about to tell you."
"TELL ME!"
"I would, if you'd just give me a EFF ing second!"
"TELL ME!"
"What's wrong with this guy?"
"TELL ME!"
"FINE! My plan is to give control of this show to 4Kids! There! I just spoiled the entire fanficton. Happy?"
"What are you talking about?" Yami demanded. "It's already the seventh chapter and and you're just now revealing the plot, and you think that's too soon ? Seriously, it's like the person writing this doesn't even care!"
"SILENCE!" Melvin commanded. "As once my evil plan is put into action, 4Kids will undoubtably get this show cancelled within a few terrible episodes!"
"But why?" Yami asked. "Why would you do such a thing?"
"Because, Pharaoh, this show is about magic and friendship. I hate it ! And the more this show exists, the more it continues to make the world a happier place!"
"What are all of you talking about?" Twilight asked, her head throbbing from confusion. "What is 4Kids? What does 'getting cancelled' mean? And what will happen if we are cancelled?"
"It's simple really," Melvin said. "Everything you know, everything in your entire world will cease to exist! You will be plunged into eternal darkness and-" He was abruptly interrupted she the left side of his face became distorted and stretched out. "AHH! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY FACE!? WHY DOES IT KEEP DOING THAT!? DEAR GODS! IT HURTS SO MUCH!"
Twilight still didn't understand what Melvin's plan actually meant, but she knew she had to stop him. Her focus shifted to his Millennium Rod. "The rod!" She shouted, "Grab the rod!" Upon saying this, she and Applejack leapt into action, B-lining straight toward the Millennium Rod.
"Stop them, mind slaves!" Melvin commanded. When he said this, the sea serpent and the guy with freaky hair obeyed, though the sea serpent couldn't do much since he was stuck in the water. When Twilight and Applejack were mere feet away from the Millennium Rod, the crazy haired minion jumped at them both and rammed into them with his right shoulder, knocking them both down.
Melvin took advantage of this opportunity. Though he wanted to stay and hug all of them, he knew that completing his plan was too important. He commanded Pinkie Pie to follow him and began to flee through the woods.
The henchman stood over Twilight and Applejack. "Attention, duelists!" He said, "My hair is about to beat the everloving crap out of you!"
"JOEY, USE TACKLE!" Yami ordered.
Joey yelled his own name and sprinted toward the henchman and rammed into him with the top of his head, causing him to fall down only inches away from the water's edge. "That is what you get when you mess with someone who either is or sounds like he is from Brooklyn. Especially if they are in a state of rage!"
Applejack and Twilight stood back up only to see the sea serpent swing its own head directly into Joeys chest, causing him to fling back into the trees and cry, "Aww! My ribneys!"
Yami chuckled at Joey when he crawled out of the bushes. "Ha-ah... 'ribneys'."
The henchman struggled back up and looked at Twilight. "Attention, duelist!" He repeated. "My hair is..."
"STOP [squee] ING SAYING THAT!!!" Twilight swore. Her horn was beginning to glow and it got brighter every time she spoke. "I SWEAR TO CELESTIA! You [squee] [squee] annoying pieces of [squee] ! I am going to [squee] [squee] [squee] your entire [squee] [squee] out of your [squee] so that even your own mother won't recognize you! Then [squee] your [squee] [squee] right back into your [squee] so that you'll have to [squee] sideways!!!" The purple aura surrounding her horn had become twice the volume of her head.
"...Did my hair mention that it's sorry?" The henchman asked.
"THAT TEARS IT!" Twilight shouted. She released a giant beam of energy strait at him that carried him across the water and into the forest behind him. He plowed through trees and brush, leaving a very visible trail of destruction with no end in sight. The sea serpent quickly gave up his loyalty for Melvin and swam down the river and out of sight.
"De... I think she just killed that guy..." said Joey.
"Don't be silly, Joey," Said Yami. "I'm sure he's been through worse."
"No," Joey argued, "No he hasn't. If he had, he would already have been dead. Because that f***ing killed him!"
"What's gonna happen now?" Applejack asked.
"Well, I'm it sure what's going to happen to this world." Yami admitted. "As for our world. If fans of this show are even half as fanatic as anime fans, there will probably be lots of fighting."
"Oh, come on, Yug," said Joey. "How violent could they possibly be?"
_________________________________________________
Melvin used Pinkie Pie's fourth wall breaking power to bring about the destructive powers of 4Kids. Luckily, all of this happened off screen; which means that I, as an extremely lazy writer, do not have to explain this long and complicated process to you. Just be assured that it probably had a lot of chanting or something, and leave it at that.
The next episode aired on schedule with eager fans watching it the world over. However, the show they aired was very different. It was called "My Not Big Pony: Friendship is Helpful" (because the words little and magic might be offensive to some viewers). Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack were all written off of the show because because female characters that act slightly tomboyish are obviously lesbians and therefore offensive to American audiences... in America. Zecora was also written off of the show because she is clearly a satanic worshipper and a horrible role model. Spike began singing pointless and poorly written, family friendly rap songs at every chance he had in order to appeal to today's youth. It was a lot like what they did to One Piece. ONLY WORSE!
_________________________________________________
MEANWHILE, BACK SOMEWHERE IN EGYPT
After the episode was over, Florence lifted his blindfold and removed his ear plugs. "So, how was it?" He asked.
"It was horrible, Bakura!" Pegasus pouted.
"But I thought you liked that show," said Bakura.
"Yes, but this was different! It was so... So... tacky!" Pegasus exclaimed.
"I am very upset!" Zorc announced. "In fact, I am so upset, I'm going to destroy the world!"
"That's strange," said Florence. "There wasn't any canned laughter when you said that."
"That is because I was serious!" Zorc explained. He used his awkwardly placed dragon head to blow down one of the walls in the evil council room, and then he stomped out into the desert, marching toward the nearest civilization to destroy.
"Oh my word, he's ruined the new drapes!" Pegasus exclaimed.
"And he's going to destroy the whole, bloody world!" Florence added. "I like the world! It has things that I like in it! I like those things!"
"This whole day has turned out so unfabulous!"
"For once, I agree with you."
Author's Note
-I wrote out a scene with Odion and Ishizu preparing to watch the episode as well, but I cut it out because I didn't think it was funny enough. :/
-Also, AJ and RD being written off of the show will not effect them in the next chapters. Just think of the show and the universe they're in as separate, but closely linked places.
-Pegasus' favorite pony is definitely Rarity.
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Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!
Super, Special, Awesome, Chocolatey, Fudge Coated, Mega, Ultra, Super Chapter!
Chapter updates for this fanfiction are getting gradually less frequent. Does that remind you of anything?
_____________________________________________
Duke Devlin slowly opened his eyes and panned around him. To his right, he saw Kaiba, Tea, Rarity and Fluttershy spread out amongst the trees and brush. They were all still unconscious, but Mokuba was attempting to wake up Kaiba by shaking him. To his left he saw Tristan and Rainbow Dash at the base of a tree. Rainbow Dash was starting to wake up as well, but looked too weak to stand. Yami, Joey, Twilight and Applejack were in front of him near the water's edge, talking amongst each other.
Duke rubbed the back of his head and worked his way into a standing position. "Waking up next to a bunch of naked, unconscious bodies," he narrated. "It's just another day for Duke Devlin."
"Seto! Seto wake up!" Mokuba pleaded as he shook Kaiba's unconscious body with tears streaming down his face. "Wake up, Seto! I don't want to be alone! I'm scared!"
Kaiba opened his eyes slowly and gingerly placed one hoof on Mokuba's shoulder. "Mokuba..." He said.
"Yes, Seto! What is it?"
"...Shut up." He pushed Mokuba to the side and stood up.
Kaiba, Rainbow Dash and Duke walked over to Yami, Joey, AJ and Twilight. "What happened?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Where's Marik? Where's Pinkie?"
"Oh, you're awake," Twilight said with a relieved sigh. "That's good news."
"And all of the rest of us conveniently woke up while we were off screen," said Tristan. Just like he had said, everyone else had conveniently woken up.
"Neat." Said Yami.
"I think I'm speaking for all of my Ponyville friends here when I say that I don't even understand what's going on," said Twilight. "How do we stop Melvin if we don't even know what he's doing?"
"If only there were someone who's only purpose was to help move along the plot while still giving is as little information as possible," said Joey.
"Jagshemesh!" Shadi's voice exclaimed. He stepped from the brush into the clearing.
"Look everybody! It's an extremely racist characature!" Tea announced.
"Yay!" Tristan said happily. "It's my fairy godmother!"
"He's not your fairy godmother, you dork!" Duke said bitterly.
"You're just jealous," Tristan surmised.
"Oh great," Yami said sarcastically. "It's that guy..."
"You know him too, huh?" Asked Twilight.
"Unfortunately."
"Yes, it is me," Shadi said. "I have come with urgent warning!"
"Let me guess," said Yami. "You're going to warn us about Melvin's plan to destroy the fourth wall."
For a few seconds that felt like a few minutes, Shadi simply stared at all of them with a serious expression. He finally replied, "...I showed up too late again, didn't I?"
"A few chapters earlier would have been nice," said Joey.
"Oh well," Shadi said casually. "You can't win all of them. My job is to protect fourth wall dividing worlds. Great success so far, no?"
"No," Yami answered.
"Question was rhetorical!" Shadi said. "Back to point. Melvin's plan to break fourth wall will cause more destruction than he knows. If fourth wall of this world and your world are both destroyed, life as we know it will be in chaos. Is bad!!!"
"What do you mean?" Asked Twilight.
Shadi answered, "Nothing that is right will be true. We will become like the animal. Animal will become like the dirt, and dirt will become like the Jew."
"I don't even know what that is and I can still tell that that was obscenely racist," said Fluttershy.
"My time runs short," Shadi continued. "You must defeat Marik and reverse what he has done using Elements of Harmony!"
"Isn't protecting the fourth wall kind of your job?" Joey asked.
"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash agreed. "Why should we be doing your job? The least you could do is help!"
"...I am a ghost!" Shadi exclaimed. While everyone was distracted with the complete irrelevance of what he had said, Shadi quickly faded away into thin air.
"This is terrible!" Tristan shouted. "Melvin's going to destroy the fabric of reality, and the Joker's planted a bomb in one of the cities hospitals, but the only way we can stop him is if we get off the island before it explodes and we've only got fourteen minutes! And to make matters worse, in a few hours, the sun will rise!"
"Tristan, it's the middle of the day," said Rarity.
"OH, NO! WE'RE TOO LATE!" Tristan shouted.
Fluttershy flew up and hovered above the tree line.
"Before we can make a plan, we'll need to know where Melvin is," Twilight thought out loud.
"Um... Guys," Fluttershy said quietly.
"If I were him, I would be in the largest building structurally possible," said Kaiba.
"Um... Guys, I think I know where he is..." Fluttershy said.
"Playing a card game usually reveals important plot points. We should try that," Yami suggested.
Fluttershy became tired of being ignored. She took in a deep breath and shouted, "EVERYPONY!!! HE'S IN THE TOWN HALL!!!" After screaming, she began to hyperventilate for a short time before catching her breath.
They all stared in shock. Twilight and her friends were surprised that she would yell like that. Yami and his friends didn't even know she could talk.
Fluttershy sighed and pointed toward Ponyville. The Town Hall, the tallest building in the town which was roughly a third the size of Kaiba's ego, had a beam of red light that shot into the air and darkened the sky around it. It was painfully obvious that there was something evil there.
"Wow, I didn't think it was possible," said Kaiba, "but he actually managed to make me look subtle, and I drive a jet shaped like a blue freaking dragon!"
"Obvious or not, it's still a lead!" Twilight said. She headed back to the beaten path they had taken to get there. "Come on!" She urged everyone else to follow behind her, and they quickly did.
The dark red light could still be seen through the leaves of the trees as they ran. "That certainly is ominous," Rarity commented as she saw this. "I'd imagine that all of Ponyville is in chaos after seeing something like that come up out of nowhere!"
_______________________________________________
MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
Two, blue stallions wearing matching spectacles were standing across the street from the Town Hall, watching the skies darken.
"I do say, Pippin, that is a rather ominous sight we are observing. Wouldn't you say, good sir?" One asked the other.
"Oh, I do say, Geoffrey, that is not ominous, it is far more along the lines of inauspicious, I say!"
"Inauspicious? I do say, sir, that is preposterous! If anything, I'd say it looks more foreboding."
"Foreboding, good sir?"
"Yes, good sir."
"Well, good sir, I do say that this is quite clearly far more inauspicious than foreboding."
"Well, I disagree with you, this is quite clearly more foreboding, I say!"
"Do you mean to say that you know better what this is to be called than I do, good sir?"
"I do believe so, good sir."
"Well, I take offence to that!"
"Well, I take offence to you taking offence to that!"
"FISTICUFFS!" They both shouted in unison before proceeding to smack each other.
__________________________________________________
MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
On the inside of the Town Hall building, Melvin passed back and forth in front of Pinkie and four other brainwashed Steves. The other Steves where the mayor and three other earth pony stallions who he had "Stevified" last minute for the purpose of plot convenience.
"This plan is going perfectly, my Steves!" Melvin said, he was mostly talking to himself because the "Steves" weren't exactly good conversationalists. "There's just one loose end to take care of before I leave. And by 'take care of,' I mean 'stab repeatedly in the eye socket!' It's the same thing, really."
__________________________________________________
MEANWHILE, INSIDE OF PINKIE PIE'S BRAIN (which happened to be thousands of miles away)
Pinkie Pie was lost in an abyss of swirling pink and black shadows. There were no landmarks for her to use. In fact, she was begging to suspect that she wasn't moving at all!
She had stopped being scarred hours ago. Now, she was frustrated, frustrated that no matter what she did, she couldn't find a way out. She let out a heavy sigh and fell into a sitting position. "Pull yourself together, Pinkie!" She said to herself. "This isn't that bad. Your friends will be here any time now... Wherever you are..." She looked at the purple and black shadows around her. "Where... Am I?"
The cybernetic ghost of Christmas past from the future appeared to her left and said, "That is the wrong question. What you should be asking is: Where am I FIVE THOUSAND YEARS FROM NOW?"
"...Why are you here?" Pinkie asked.
"I DON'T KNOW!!!"
"So... Can you help me find a way out of here?"
"Probably not."
View Online
Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!
I'm Too Lazy To Think of a Clever Name For This Chapter. Enjoy Your Damn Ponies.
Remember kids, plagiarism is wrong, unless it's in a fanfiction, because nobody actually cares about those!
__________________________________________
"And that's how I met my third wife," said the cybernetic ghost of Christmas past from the future to Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie then asked, "Who was your third wife?"
"Weren't you paying attention?" Asked the robot. "I just told you, like, five seconds ago!"
"No you didn't! You just randomly said 'And that's how I met my third wife.'"
"Oh... I thought I told you the story."
"Nope."
"Would you like to hear the story?"
Pinkie shook her head softly. "Maybe later," she said, "but now, I need you to help me find a way out of here."
"You want to find the way out of here?" The robot clarified.
"Yessiree, Bob!"
"You are seeking an exit from where you are."
"Yup."
"The place you are at, you wish to leave it."
"Mhmm."
"You wish to achieve knowledge with which to use to escape from this location."
"Sounds about right."
[ninety five spicetastic minutes later]
The machine repeated, "So, you, being the genuine Pinkamina Diane Pie, wish to acquire from me sufficient information with which to achieve liberation from the location which is here, the place where you, Pinkamina Diane Pie, are currently located. Is that what you are asking?"
"Yes indeedy!" Pinkie said happily.
"Okay," the robot finally agreed. "Are you sure you want to know?"
"Yes! I really need to know!"
"Okay, but I'm warning you, this is crazy stuff you're about to hear!"
"I'm ready!"
"Okay, as it turns out..." The robot said, pausing for dramatic effect, "I am a woman."
Pinkie Pie sat still and stared in confusion for some time. "Um... O... Kay?"
"I know. It's a pretty crazy plot twist!"
"It also doesn't seem super relevant right now," said Pinkie.
"Relevant to what?" The robot asked. "What were we doing?"
"You were gonna tell me how to get out of here, remember?" Pinkie asked with a hint of frustration.
"I have no idea!" Said the robot. "I don't even know where we are right now!"
_________________________________________________
MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN EGYPT
Zorc had found his first village to destroy. He had already begun knocking down the small buildings and setting the streets on fire with his dragon head. The screams of terror had given him the irresistible urge to sing.
"I can de-stroy the world!
His Disney song parody was interrupted when he heard Florence's voice on a megaphone calling his name. "Zorc! Stop destroying the world right this instant!" Florence demanded. He was standing up on the back seat of a dark green Jeep with a megaphone in his hand. Pegasus was sitting in the front seat wearing full desert camouflage with a fabulous matching hat.
"But I am upset!" Zorc whined. "And this is the only way I know how to express my feelings!"
"No!" Florence shouted. "Bad! Bad Zorc! Bad! No annihilation!"
Zorc hung his massive arms in shame. "You never let me have any fun!" He said. He started to cry, but covered his eyes with his massive hands. "I... I hate you! I hate you!" He ran past them and made his way back to the hideout.
Pegasus put a hand on Florence's shoulder. "Don't worry Bakura. He'll come around," He said, "He just needs some time to think."
_________________________________________________
MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
Twilight and her companions had had plenty of time to make their way to the town. They were all huddled together behind a patch of brush, looking up at the Town Hall building, only one road away.
"Who's hoof is touching my butt?" Rarity yelped.
"Sorry," said Duke. "It tends to do that."
"Are you all clear on the plan?" Twilight asked.
"Got it!" Said Yami. "We use Tristan as a brainless meat shield while we distract Melvin, and while he's stabbing Tristan to death, you five will go inside and find out a way to bring back Pinkie so that you can use those element thingies."
"...You added a few details, but that's close enough," said Twilight. She nodded to her friends and they sprinted off, hoping to get their mission done before Yami and his friends had time to fail.
"Well, let's get going," said Yami, he began to move towrard the street, but Kaiba put one hoof on his side to stop him. "The hell do you want?" Yami asked.
"You're my arch rival, Yugi," said Kaiba, "And I know that once we get back to Domino city, things will return to the way they were, but for now..."
"A-are you coming onto me? Is that what's happening?"
"Shut up and listen!" Kaiba demanded. "This is the only time I'm ever going to work with you."
"What about season four?"
"F*** season four! What I'm saying is, today, I'm your ally. Tomorrow, I'm going right back to being the dick I was born to be! Because no matter what we go through, I will never be your friend! And I will defeat you one day, Yugi!"
"I hate you," said Yami, "With all of my hate."
"And that's the way it needs to be," said Kaiba.
"Is this about to turn into a yaoi fanfic?" Asked Tea.
"Big Brother," Mokuba said, tapping Kaiba's leg. "How come you never have conversations like that with me?"
"Mokuba, who gave you permission to talk?"
Yami and his company ran in to the Town Hall via the street, and when they had reached it, they saw that Melvin was already in the doorway with his Millenium Rod tucked to his side. He seemed to have been waiting for them.
Kaiba stopped running first. He stood awkwardly across from Melvin. "Um... Hi," he said nervously.
"Sup?" Asked Melvin casually, as if addressing a friend.
"...Nothing," Kaiba replied hesitantly.
"That's good," said Melvin. "I didn't want our activity to get in the way of anything."
"What activity?" Asked Kaiba.
"Your untimely deaths," Melvin said casually. He unsheathed the dagger inside of his Millennium Rod, inspected it in the sunlight, then licked it from the tip to the hilt.
_________________________________________________
MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
Twilight and her friends were on the opposite side of the Town Hall building. The only thing keeping them from getting inside was a thin, wooden wall.
"Alright, Fluttershy, do yer thing!" Said Applejack. AJ was wearing two saddle-bags with the six elements tucked away inside.
A large portion of the wall broke open, and splinters of wood flew out across the inside of the lobby. The five ponies were still standing in front of the wall.
"Yeah, I can blow open walls with my mind," Fluttershy said casually.
One after the other, they trotted inside. The bottom floor was dark, the hole in the wall seemed to be the only source of light. However, it also seemed empty, and that was a good sign.
"It looks like Melvin wasn't expectin' company," said Applejack.
"Pinkie must be on a different floor," said Twilight. "Let's keep look-"
Twilight stopped talking when she heard singing. It sounded like Pinkie Pie's voice, but it was monotone and lifeless.
"Hush now,
Hush now,
"Talk about creepy!" Rarity said with a shiver.
Fluttershy backed up toward the hole. "You know, now that I really think about it, we don't really need all six elements, do we? I'm sure you girls have this handled without me."
Rainbow Dash flew behind Fluttershy and blocked her way to the exit. Fluttershy looked back at her disapproving face and sighed. "Fine, I guess I can come with you... As long as I get to stay in the middle of the line!"
_________________________________________________
MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF... OKAY, THIS JOKE IS GETTING REALLY OLD
"Kill Tristan first!" Yami demanded.
"Yeah!" Tristan shouted in agreement.
"I know a better idea," Said Melvin. He pointed to each of the Yugioh protagonists one at a time with his dagger, singing, "Eenie meenie miney moe. Catch a pharaoh by his toe. If he hollers stab his throat. Eenie meenie miney..."
"Money!" Kaiba shouted as he delivered a powerful blow to Melvin's jaw with his front, right hoof. Melvin was caught completely off guard and flew backward onto the ground, landing with the right side of his head first.
"I'm tired of this shit!" Kaiba yelled. "I've been in the background for this whole fanfiction! I'm not Tristan! I'm Seto f***ing Kaiba! Accept no substitutes!" He extended his front left leg with his hoof bent to the side in an obligatory, over the top, anime pose. "You think you're crazy? You think you're a psychopath? I DRIVE A JET SHAPED LIKE A F***ING BLUE DRAGON!!! NOBODY OUT-ASSHOLES SETO KAIBA!!!"
Melvin rolled to his belly and sprung back up. He levitated the Millennium Dagger and said, "When I'm done with you, your ego will fit in an ashtray!"
"Come at me, bro!" Kaiba dared. Melvin lunged at him. Kaiba pushed the dagger away by hitting the hilt with his shoulder, then delivered a spinning kick with one of his back legs. Melvin grabbed onto the leg and used it to force Kaiba onto the ground.
"Yug, shouldn't we be doing something?" Asked Joey.
"Implying that I care which one of them loses this fight," said Yami. "I've got an idea! Let's all take bets on which one of them gets killed. My money's on Kaiba."
"F*** you, Yugi!" Kaiba shouted while he struggled with Marik over control of the dagger.
"No thanks," said Yami.
_________________________________________________
MEANWHIILE... You know what? I'm not doing this any more. You can figure out where they are on your own. I don't even need to be here!
The five element bearers crept up the stairs slowly in a line with Twilight in the front and Rainbow Dash in the back. Twilight reached the top of the stairs and stepped to the side so that her friends could follow.
The second floor was surprisingly less dark than the first. Candles on the sides of the walls provided at least enough light for them to see. The floor looked empty, as if Melvin had removed every piece of furniture only for the purpose of making it look more ominous and uninviting.
"Oh, this place looks absolutely horrid!" Rarity said in disgust. "And the lighting is all wrong! I can't even see anything in the center of the room! If you ask me, this is evil enough!"
"Ugh!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "How is that all you think about in a time linked this!"
Twilight concentrated on a spell and crated a purple ball of light on the tip of her horn. It was bright enough to light up the whole room immediately. When it did, they saw Pinkie standing perfectly still in the once pitch black center with a smug grin. Behind her was the Mayor and three other stallions they recognized from town. They all had the same blank eyes.
Twilight jumped back a few inches, not because she was scarred, but because she was so surprised that Pinkie Pie had been quiet enough for them not to notice her!
Pinkie giggled, she had giggled many times before, but this time was different. She wasn't giggling because she was happy. She wasn't happy at all, and for a pony like her, that was just creepy.
"How ya doin' girls?" She asked. When she spoke, it was like somepony else was talking at the same time, making her voice have a slight echo. "I was just hangin' out with my real friends. I suppose if you girls want to play too, all you gotta do is give up and let master Melvin control you. It's a real blast! I promise!"
The five gritted their teeth in anger. The sight of which made Pinkie smile. The three brainwashed stallions and the mayor started to step around on both sides of the element bearers.
"Melvin knew you would try this," said Pinkie. "If you don't give up now, were going to have to try a new method to persuade you."
"I don't know which is more insulting!" Said Rarity.
"Messin' with our friends..." Applejack said.
"...Or the fact that Melvin thought a couple of generic brain puppets would stop us!" Said Rainbow Dash.
"I'm glad you've all synchronized your little heroic speeches," said Pinkie, "But your voices grow irksome! Steves, attack!"
The four brainwashed ponies tried to move at her command, but they all froze in their places, no longer able to move. A vibrant, purple aura was surrounding the five element bearers. The aura expanded to envelop the mayor and the other three Steves, causing the four of them to drop unconscious immediately.
"You're going to remember who you are!" Twilight commanded. The aura expanded further, surrounding the room with light.
Pinkie tried to shield her eyes with her hoof, but she could still see the blinding light. "What are you doing! You can't be the ones to stop master Melvin! You're just a bunch of ponies!"
______________________________________________
The light inside of the Town Hall spread through every room and beamed out through the windows and doors.
"Wait a second, the frig was that?" Melvin asked when he saw the light display, taking his attention off of Kaiba. Seto seized this opportunity and punched Melvin in the jaw again. This managed to knock Melvin off and he stood back up and out of harm's way.
Melvin quickly reassembled his rod and gaped at the Town Hall as the bright lights receded.
"I sense a strong presence of the friendship in that building," Tea said.
"What... Just happened?" Melvin asked. For the first time, he did not sound confident.
"Here's a lesson for you, Melvin," said Yami. "If you can't beat one show, taking on two at the same time is a bad idea!"
"Face it, Melvin, no matter how hard you plan, if you're working for 4Kids, you're going to lose!" Said Kaiba.
The double doors to the Town Hall swung open and all six of the element bearers were standing on the other side with their elements equipped.
"Oh... EFF !" Melvin gasped.
"Your mind control trick didn't work you meanie!" Pinkie Pie shouted. She was happy to have escaped the confines of her subconscious. That robot was getting really annoying.
Melvin put on a look of confidence and readied his rod. "Foolish fools!" He shouted. "As long as her name is legally Steve, she has no choice but to obey me!" He held out the rod and made the eye glow yellow. "Stevie Pie, obey me!" He ordered.
However, Pinkie Pie wasn't effected at all. Instead, she giggled. "You're silly," she said.
"You are not the first villain to try to separate us," said Twilight, "and you as not the first to fail! I don't care how powerful your staff is! You will never be stronger then our friendship!" The eyes of the six element bearers began to glow brightly. Their bodies were encompassed by a white aura.
"I have the weirdest friendship boner right now," said Tea.
Two rainbows sprung out from their aura followed by a loud booming sound. They wrapped around the eight Yugioh characters like a tornado.
"Look, Tristan," said Joey as he observed the swirling lights around him. "It's a double rainbow!"
"It's so beautiful!" Said Tristan. "What does it mean?"
"You all do not belong here!" Said Twilight. "Go back and annoy your own world!" The rainbows tightened around the eight foreigners and plunged them back into their world where they belonged.
Immediately after they were gone, the bright lights faded away without so much as a trace. Leaving the six element bearers alone.
"So... Um..." Rarity said at an attempt to break the ensuing awkward silence.
"Let us never speak of this again," said Twilight.
Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!
Duke, Yugi, Joey, Tea, and Tristan were all in their human, anime forms again. The same thing was true of Kaiba and Mokuba, both of which were back in there estate. They had no word of where Melvin and Marik were, but wherever they were, both of them were surely plotting their revenge. Yugi was sitting at his desk in school with all of his friends around him.
"That sure was weird," said Joey, reflecting on those past events.
"I know," Yugi agreed, "We actually went to school for once! That's insane!"
"I was more referring to the whole pony world thing," Joey clarified.
"Oh yeah. That too."
"I had fun," said Tristan.
"Stop voicing your opinion, Spike!" Joey barked.
"I think we've all learned a great lesson about friendship," said Tea.
"I don't know about friendship, but I did learn something else," said Yugi, "Using other dimensions as a tool in your evil scheme may be wrong, but its okay as long as there are no foreseeable consequences in the end"
_____________________________________________
Twilight was sitting on her bed, trying to read enough books to clear her head of all the craziness she'd been through. She suddenly heard three, firm knocks on her door.
She put down her book and walked down stairs, happy knowing that there was no chance her visitor would be nearly as strange as her last. She opened the door, then stared at the visitor in shock. He was a pink stallion with short, light green hair. He was holding a baby colt that had the exact same hair and facial features that he did.
"Um... Hello?" Twilight said apprehensively.
"HELLO!" The stallion yelled. "I AM ESPA ROBA!"
"Why are you yelling?"
"THIS IS MY NORMAL SPEAKING VOICE!" Espa Roba replied. "WOULD YOU LIKE THIS FOAL? I NO LONGER HAVE USE FOR IT!"
______________________________________________
Now, enjoy your spoof credits! If you don't read them, you can't have any pudding!
Closing credits
Dan Green ... Yami
Dan Green ... Yugi
Tea Gardner ... Herself
Joey Wheeler ... Himself
Barny the Dinosaur ... Tristan
Duke Devlin's Sweet Ass ... Itself
Light Yagami ... Seto Kaiba
Bulbasaur ... Mokuba
Marik Sebastian Ishtar ... Himself
Satan ... Melvin
Twilight Sparkle ... Herself
Fluttershy ... Herself
Rainbow Dash ... Herself (himself?)
Applejack ... Herself
Pinkamina Diane Pie ... Herself
Rarity ... Herself
Huffy The Magic Dragon ... Spike
The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From The Future ... Herself
The Borat ... Shadi
Kemo ... His hair
Yugi's Grandfather ... Himself
Prince Blue Blood ... Maximillion Pegasus
Newt Gingrich ... The Dark Master Zork
Benedict Cumberpatch ... Florence
Da Gweat And Powewfuw Dawtz ... Himsaywf, mayn!
Hulk Hogan ... Rafael
Paul Hogan ... Valon
Nick Hogan ... Alistar
Limey Man ... Bakura
4Chan trolls ... Themselves
Espa Roba ... Himself
Espa Roba's baby brother ... Himself
Geoffrey ... Himself
Pippin ... Himself
Tom Tucker ... Hub announcer
Stephen Magnet ... Himself
Mayor Mare ... Herself
Donut Holestein ... The kid from the card shop
Lord Ingled ... The Black Luster Soldier
Christian Bale ... The Surrealist Celtic Guardian
Kanye West ... Da Blue Peeps Whitey Dragon
Jaden Yuki ... Sucks
Written by ... Supahsnail
Cover Art by ... Achiru-et-al on deviantart (not made specifically for this fanfic.)
Most of the jokes are probably from LittleKuriboh... Or maybe Shadyvox. I guess I wrote a few of them too :3
A special thanks to
LittleKuriboh for being the best!
All of the writers who made MLP awesome! /)^3^(\
Anyone who's reading this, and all of my followers!
Satan, my dark lord and master, for giving me the power to create this fanfiction.
Based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire
Yugioh is the property of Konami and Kazuki Takahashi (I think...)
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro Studios
YGOTAS is made by LittleKuriboh
This fanfiction is dedicated to the memory of Kemo's hair. May a thousand winged Kuribohs fly thee to thy rest...
________________________________________________
Espa Roba was holding one of Twilight's books. "THIS BOOK DOESN'T DESERVE A SPOT ON MY NIGHTSTAND!" He shouted. "BUT IT MIGHT MAKE A GOOD COASTER FOR MY DRINK!"
"...Please leave," said Twilight.
View Online
Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!
Sense and Sensibility and Children's Card Games
Yugi Moto wasn’t exactly a normal Japanese teenager. He was barely over four feet tall, had spiky, black hair with a purple outline that made it look like a giant, black starfish was stuck on the back of his head, he only spoke in English (Which actually was normal for some reason), and he was freaking adorable! If you look directly at him for too long, you might contract diabetes. Do you see what I’m getting at? He’s very cute!
There was one other, even stranger thing about Yugi. He had a golden, pyramid shaped necklace around his neck that appeared to be very uncomfortable. It contained untold magical powers that could allow an ancient Pharaoh, named Yami, to take over his body at any given time. Yugi usually did this to cheat at children’s card games. Because that’s what you do with magical powers, you cheat on card games.
Yugi was in a dark alleyway on a morning so early that the sun had yet to come out. On his left arm, he had a duel disk, a needlessly complicated piece of machinery created for the purpose of enhancing a children’s card game. Behind him, his closest friends, and a couple of other people who follow him around all of the time, were standing, and looking nervous. Their names were Tristan, Joey, Tea and Duke Devlin.
On the other side of the alley, stood Seto Kaiba, a genius, and extremely rich teen with a surprisingly slick white jacket and an ego roughly one thousand times the size of Yugi’s ridiculous hair. Behind Kiba was his little brother, Mokuba, a small child with puffy black hair and an annoying voice that made him sound like he had a cold.
“I don’t like this Yug,” Joey said. He was Yugi’s closest friend and spoke in a Brooklyn accent for some reason. “You’ve beaten Kaiba plenty of times before, but something about this makes me nervous.”
“Don’t worry, Joey,” Yugi assured, “Kaiba’s my arch nemesis, and I’m the main character. That means that his only purpose in life is to continuously fail until everyone gets bored of him and they write him off the show.”
“I can hear you!” Kaiba shouted angrily.
“Just look at it this way. In a few hours the sun will rise!” Tristan said to Yugi in a voice that sounded strangely similar to Barney the Dinosaur.
“That’s right, Tristan!” Yugi agreed, “But before that I have to beat my arch rival again in a game of Duel Monsters!”
Joey added, “You know, Yug, I read the other day that there are some places in Japan where people actually speak Japanese instead of English, and rivalries like this are solved with violence instead of playing card games! Can you believe how f***ed up that is?”
Yugi agreed, “Pretty f***ed up, Joey.”
“Can we start this duel already?” Kaiba demanded impatiently, “If my ego stays in one small alleyway like this for too long, it begins to cause structural damage!”
Yugi was about to deliver a passive aggressive reply when Bakura, a short teenager from Yugi’s class with puffy white hair showed up at the end of the alley and said, “I say, Yugi, can I be in this fanfiction?”
Everyone else in the alley replied with a sharp “No!” and Tristan added, “Go back home, you limey!”
“Oh, bugger!” Bakura said disappointed as he left the way he came.
Kaiba stepped forward and extended his duel disk in a needlessly dramatic fashion. “Are we gonna play a card game, or does Seto need to slap a bitch?”
“You know, Kaiba, I used to be a lot like you,” said Yugi as he shuffled his deck.
“How dare you relate yourself to me, Seto Freaking Kaiba!” Kaiba said without a hint of humbleness. “What makes you think you could ever compare to me!?”
Yugi answered, “Because, Kaiba, when I was a newborn baby, I too whined like a little bitch all of the time and had no friends. The only difference was that I had a family that cared about me. How’s your ego now, Kaiba?”
Kaiba was completely speechless.
“That was pretty f***ed up, Yug…” Joey said seriously.
“Pretty f***ed up, Joey,” said Yugi.
“If you two are done making season zero references, we have a card game to play!” Kaiba said.
Yugi put on a face of determination and readied his duel disk. “Right!” he said seriously. His Millennium Necklace gave of a golden light and a mysterious wind surrounded his body. “Obligatory, overly exaggerated anime transformation sequence GO!” He cried. For some reason, whenever Yami took control of his body, his physical appearance changed as well, his eyes got sharper, making him look more serious and less adorable; his hair got even bigger and he grew a few inches (Though he was still quite short). His voice became deep and manly, with a slight cocky tone to it.
“I’m ready when you are, Kaiba,” Yami stated.
Kaiba drew his first hand saying, “Let’s see how confident you are once I summon my Blue Peeps Whitey Dragon! …I mean, Blue Eyes White Dragon!”
Yami took a card from his hand and said, “I’ll go first. I summon THIS CARD!”
“Oh yeah? Well I summon THIS CARD!”
“So I’ll summon THIS CARD!”
“Then I summon THIS CARD!”
“I activate THIS CARD!”
“I sacrifice this card to summon THIS CARD!”
“This is so epic!” Joey said. “It’s like watching a Michael Bay Movie, only with a slightly less ridiculous plot!”
“I’m going to put this card in face down position,” Yami announced.
“You’re done for, Yugi!” Kaiba said. “I sacrifice all of my monsters to summon Blue Eyes White Dragon!” He placed his blue eyes on his duel disk and a holographic projection of the beast appeared on their battlefield. “Go, Blue Eyes!” Kiba commanded. “Attack his life points directly!”
“Not so fast, Kiba,” Yami said calmly.
“Say what, now?”
Yami activated a magic card on his side of the field called Fissure. “This card allows me to send your monster with the lowest attack points to the graveyard, and since Blue Eyes is the only monster you have, that means it is destroyed."
“WHAT!” Kaiba exclaimed as his holographic dragon disintegrated. “You can’t play a magic card on my turn! That’s against the rules!”
“Screw the rules, I have ancient Egyptian swagger!” Yami said.
“You can’t steal my catchphrase like that!” Kaiba said angrily.
“I just did. Deal with it!”
“I wonder if my swagger lets me screw the rules too!” Tristan said out loud.
“You don’t have any swagger, Tristan,” said Joey.
Tristan hung his head in disappointment. “Thanks, Obama.”
Yami summoned an elf warrior to his side of the field. “I summon Surrealist Celtic Guardian in attack position!” He announced. “Go, Celtic Guardian, destroy Kiba’s remaining life points!”
The holographic elf warrior leapt at Kaiba crying, “I am a catfish!” and swiped Kiba with his blade. All of Kiba’s life points disappeared and so too did all of the holograms. The game was over.
Kaiba looked shocked and he fell down on his hands and knees. “How could I lose again?” He asked to himself.
“Don’t feel so bad, Kaiba,” Yami said. “You aren’t the only character in this show that sucks at everything. Just look at Tristan.”
“Yeah!” Tristan agreed.
“Duke…” Tea interrupted. “Have you been running your fingers through my hair this entire time?”
“There is a distinct possibility of that,” said Duke, “Duke Devlin will stop if you’d like.”
“Whoa! Who said anything about stopping?”
KAiba stood himself back up and brushed the dust off of his jacket. “Luckily for me, my ego has very fast healing properties,” he said. He grabbed his little brother by the hand and started to walk him out of the alley. “Come on, Mokuba. We don’t have time for these poor losers.”
“Yay!” Mokuba said joyfully. “Does this mean we can hang out? I want to watch Spongebob!”
“Shut up, Mokuba.”
“I love you,” added Mokuba.
“Kay, thanks.”
“Not so fast Kaiba!” said a hooded figure from the dark corned of the alley. He stepped into the moonlight and removed his hood. It was obvious to everyone who he was. His tan skin, his golden jewelry, his annoying voice, he was Marik Ishtar, the most ruthless and possibly gay villain of season two! In his right hand, he had his Millennium rod, his ultimate plot device of evil. Behind Marik was a tall, hooded figure with a ridiculously tall hair spike in the front of his scalp that couldn’t be covered by his cloak.
“IT IS I, MARIK ISHTAR, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN IN ALL OF YU-GI-OH!” He screamed.
“Actually, Marik, I think your evil counterpart Melvin is a little more evil than you are,” Yami commented.
“SHUT YOUR FRIGGIN’ MOUTH, PHARAOH!” Marik replied angrily.
“What are you up to, Marik?” Joey demanded.
“You will ALL SEE the EVIL of my BRILLIANT PLAN soon enough!” Marik promised. “But for now I…”
“Tell me!” Yami demanded.
“Not yet! I have to do other things fi…”
“Tell me!”
“Just wait a seco…”
“Tell me!”
“FRIGGIN’ FINE!” Marik exclaimed in frustration. “I’ll tell you! Jeez! My plan is to use the secret power that I just made up for my Millennium Rod to transport you all to another Television show… A Television show without any card games!”
“You fiend!” Yami yelled.
Joey clenched his fists, “Brooklyn Rage!”
“Are there any girls there?” asked Duke.
Marik held out his Millennium Rod. The golden eye created an ominous red beam that shot out into open space. The line acted like a cutting laser for the fourth wall. It carved out a circle in open air that opened up as a door to a new dimension. “Now, I command you to enter this hole I created with my rod!”
“Oh my,” Said Duke.
“How stupid do you think we are? We aren’t going to walk right into your trap!” said Joey.
“I might!” said Tristan.
“Would all of you just jump into my magical hole already!?” Marik demanded.
“That’s exactly what your mom said,” Yami taunted.
“My mother is dead, asshole!” Marik yelled.
Yami winked. “I know.”
“Wow! That was pretty f***ed up, Yug,” said Joey.
“Pretty f***ed up, Joey!” Yami said in agreement.
“I have other means to make you enter!” Said Marik.
“Are you going to kidnap me again?” asked Mokuba.
“No! I have a much better way! I will use ancient Egyptian squiggly lines!” Marik announced as he activated his rod’s powers once more. The portal grew out long yellow lines of magical energy along its borders and they stretched out, grabbing Yugi, Kaiba, Mokuba, and all of Yugi’s friends and forcing them into the black hole. They all screamed, mostly due to the shock that Marik had actually managed to do something for once. When they entered, they disappeared without a trace.
“I did it! I actually did it!” Marik said surprised. “I actually made an evil plan that worked and didn’t backfire on me! This is awesome! Wait until Bakura hears about thi-” His sentence was cut off when one of the squiggly lines wrapped around him and his hooded minion as well. “OH FRIG! Should have thought that one through.” He cried before he and his minion were thrown into the portal as well. A few moments after they were all gone, the portal dissipated as if nothing had ever happened.
________________________________________
MEANWHILE, BACK IN PONYVILLE
Twilight was on her bed reading as she usually did on a Saturday afternoon when she heard a knock on her door. “I wonder who that could be,” she said to herself. She got up and walked down her wooden stairs, approaching the door. “It’s probably just one of the girls,” she assured herself. She opened the door to see someone who she had never seen before, and certainly never expected. It was a light brown stallion with a turban and two, donut shaped rings hanging from his ears. “Um… can I help you?” She asked.
“Wawaweewa,” He said in an obviously offensive accent. “I am Shadi, a wild and crazy guy! I have come to warn you, little purple gypsy, that on this very day, your planet will be visited by an ancient evil from another world! And if you do not stop it from coming here, something really bad will happen!”
“WHAT!” Twilight exclaimed. “Ancient evil! Again! Oh, no! How long do we have to stop it?”
“If you do not intervene, it will enter this world at exactly two PM.”
Twilight looked over her shoulder at her mounted clock. “It’s five after two!” She said angrily. “Why would you warn me to stop something AFTER IT’S ALREADY HAPPENED!!!”
“…I am a ghost!” Shadi replied. He closed his eyes and started to disappear.
“Wait!” Twilight demanded. “I have more questions for you! Please!”
She was either too late, or Shadi didn’t want to stop. Shadi disappeared as mysteriously as he appeared, leaving Twilight alone and concerned.
Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!
My Hair Forgot the Name of This Chapter!
You know, you can probably skip this chapter. I’m sure nothing important will happen.
_________________________________________
A few spicetastic minutes later, Kaiba was still screaming at the top of his lungs. “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!” He finally finished.
“Feel better now, big bro?” Mokuba asked lovingly.
Rainbow Dash woke up slowly and worked herself up to a sitting position. “What happened?” she asked as she rubbed the back of her head.
“That Marik guy used some freaky magic to put you under,” Applejack said while she helped her to her hooves.
“Yeah,” Yami added, “I mean, I use my freaky magic to crush peoples minds all of the time, but I usually have to beat them in a card game first. Marik didn’t even play a card game! Tha’s crazy!”
“And he got Pinkie!” Applejack said.
“WHAT!?” Rainbow Dash screamed, her voice cracking slightly.
Kaiba yelled, “Those elements were the only way to get back to Japan… I assume!”
“What are the Elements of Harmony?” Yami asked to no one in particular.
“I think I can explain,” said Twilight.
“Tell me!”
“No, Yug, we’re not doing that again,” said Joey.
“Fine.”
“Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and I represent the six Elements of Harmony,” said Twilight. “Honesty, Generosity, Loyalty, Kindness, Laughter and Magic. When we’re all together and we have our elements with us, we have the power to vanquish any evil and restore balance to Equestria when we’re needed most.”
“And then you play a card game on a motorcycle?” Yami asked.
“What? No! We never play card games!”
“Well, that’s just lame.”
“What is it with you guys and card games?”
“I don’t play card games,” said Duke. “I play Dungeon Dice Monsters.”
“It’s the same damn thing!” Yami yelled.
“Without all six of us the Elements don’t work!” Twilight explained, “I fear Marik already knew this. Without Pinkie, the Elements are nothing but common jewelry! Whatever he’s planning, we can’t stop him until we get her back!”
“Holy Rah…” Yami said. “Marik has never been this intricate in his planning! He must be several steps ahead of us already! Who knows what evil things he has planned for that poor girl…”
_________________________________________
MEANWHILE, BACK AT A SECRET PLACE
Pinkie Pie was tied up with her back against a wooden support beam. The room around her was illuminated by candlelight. It looked like a basement, old books and boxes were strewn all around the damp interior. Marik was the only other pony she could see in the room. There was no sign of his crazy haired henchman.
“So…” Marik said, “You really don’t want to help, huh?”
“Of course not!” Pinkie Pie replied stubbornly.
“What if I said please?” Marik suggested.
“The answer is no!”
“But I asked nicely!”
“I’m not helping you!”
“Pretty please with sprinkles and pink heart on top?”
“No!”
“What if I added ribbons? Friggin ribbons, Pinkie! Everybody likes ribbons!”
“I… Said… No!!”
“I’ll give you ice cream.”
“No!!!”
“It can be any flavor you want! What’s your favorite flavor?”
“NO!!!”
“NO ISN’T A FLAVOR!”
_________________________________________
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE STORY YOU CARE ABOUT
“There’s no way we can search the whole town in time,” Twilight said with despair. “We need to find Pinkie as soon as possible, and that could take days!”
“Maybe I could do something helpful!” Tristan suggested. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll turn out to be the hero and this entire fanfiction will be about me!”
“What if we all split up?” Rarity suggested.
“Hey! Are you guys listening to me?” Tristan asked.
“We could try to use my mojo to find her,” said Duke.
“Why do I feel like I’m talking to myself!?!?” Tristan shouted.
“I hope none of you are expecting me to help,” Kaiba said coldly. “I couldn’t care less about what happens to your friend. And I have far too much money to be expected to associate myself with the likes of you.”
“Wait!” Tea cried. She ran in front of Kaiba before he could leave. “You can’t leave us!”
“Why not?” Kaiba asked.
“You’re in for it now, Kaiba! I wrote an entire friendship speech just for you!”
Kaiba steeped back and shielded his face. “No! Please! Anything but that!”
“You see, Kaiba, friendship is the best thing in the world because blah blah blah friends blah blah. Blah blah blah friendship blah blah blah helping blah…”
“Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop.”
[45 spicetastic minutes later]
“…Blah blah friendship blah,” Tea finished, “And that is why friendship is the greatest thing in the universe!”
“So, Kaiba,” Joey said, “Are you gonna help us out and not be a complete douche bag for once?”
“That depends,” Kaiba said, quivering from the bombardment of friendship. “If I say no, will she keep talking about friendship?”
“Yes,” said Tea.
“Well then, I have no choice!” Kaiba immediately said back.
Twilight hung her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe it!” she grunted. “You guys just wasted an entire hour that we could have spent searching for Pinkie!”
“I know,” Yugi agreed. “We’ve been standing here for so long that Yami got bored and let me take over again. He usually hates giving away screen time.”
“At this rate it will take a miracle for us to get anything done!” Twilight complained.
“THEN WHY AREN’T YOU USING ONE OF THOSE!?!?” Tristan yelled, shaking Twilight by the base of her shoulders.
Yugi stood up in front of the group and said, “Everyone just follow me!” He started walking down the dirt road leading near the outskirts of town. A few moments later, the others started to follow him, but mainly just to ask him what he was doing.
Rainbow Dash was the first to ask, “Where could you possibly be leading us? You know just as much as we do about where Marik is!”
“Yes, but I’m also the main character,” Yugi added. “If I just start walking around, the plot will eventually catch up with me.”
“I’m hungry, Seto,” Mokuba complained as they walked through the street.
Kaiba peered back at him and asked, “Why didn’t you eat when we were back at the library?”
“I didn’t know there was food at the library.”
“Well, you should have asked.”
“But I’m hungry now!”
“And that’s your fault!”
Yugi turned onto a market street that Twilight had rarely ever been to.
“Hey, Yug, I just thought of something,” Joey said.
“Good job, Joey!” Yugi said encouragingly, “Thinking is the only thing that separates us from Tristan.”
“With you gone, who’s gonna take care of your senile and dysfunctional grandfather?”
“I’m not worried about him,” Yugi said confidently. “My grandpa is totally capable of taking care of himself.”
_________________________________________
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE TOOLSHED! I’m just kidding; it was Yugi’s grandfather’s card shop.
Yugi’s grandfather was standing behind the counter at his card shop with a blank look of confusion on his face. “I can’t believe Yugi would just leave his poor grandpa here while he goes and plays card games with his arch rival! Sometimes I feel like Yugi wants me to die, and the way that he keeps pushing me down the stairs and not taking me to the hospital doesn’t make me feel any better about it…” He announced to the empty store. “And apparently I also own a card shop. Why does nobody tell me these things?”
A ringing bell marked the door to his shop opening. A teenager stepped inside wearing the uniform for Yugi’s school, though Yugi had never gone to class there in about a year.
“Who is that?” Yugi’s grandpa asked. “Have they come for me already? I’m not ready!”
“What?” the teenager replied.
“I remember the war!”
“Relax, dude, I’m just here to buy some cards,” the teen said.
“We don’t sell cards here!” the old man barked.
The teen looked at the shelves around him, all stacked with Duel Monsters merchandise. “Dude, this is, like, a card shop.”
“It is?” Yugi’s grandpa asked. “I hadn’t noticed!”
Yugi’s grandfather’s attention shifted to his television when he heard a voice say, “We now return to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, right here on the Hub!”
“Yay!” He jeered with his eyes riveted on the screen. “My one reason for living!”
“Can I like buy some cards, or something?” the teen asked.
The old man held out his hand, but didn’t take his eyes off the screen. “GO AWAY!” He ordered. “I’M TRYING TO WATCH CUTE S*** OVER HERE!”
_________________________________________
“You’re right,” Joey agreed as they all walked further down the road. “Nothing bad will happen to him, because all of the main characters are in this world.”
The Henchman with crazy hair was waiting for them to cross, and he jumped down from the roof of a flower shop when he saw Yugi walking by, landing on the ground in a surprisingly graceful manner. “Attention Duelists!” He announced. “My hair has been waiting for you!”
“See!” Yugi cried out to the group. “I told you the plot would show up eventually!”
The henchman spoke again, “Attention duelists…”
“Why do you keep doing that?” Twilight asked.
“Doing what?”
“Why do you always say ‘Attention Duelists’ before you say something? It doesn’t seem to have any significance,” Twilight commented.
“Listen between that and my hair I’ve got nothing else! Now, would you please let me keep talking?”
“Fine.”
“As I was saying, my hair has broken free from Marik’s control, and has come to help you defeat him!”
“How dumb do you think we are?” Applejack asked.
“This is clearly a trick,” said Kaiba. “Who would be stupid enough to take your word like this?”
“I believe him, Seto,” said Mokuba.
“Me too!” said Tristan.
“My point exactly,” Kaiba said annoyed.
“Maybe so, but my hair also knows the whereabouts of Marik and your pink friend!” the henchman said. “Follow me and I can show you!”
Rainbow Dash was about to fly out and settle a score with the crazy haired stallion, but Twilight stopped her. “We don’t have to trust him,” she said. “but we do need him to show us where she is.”
“But what if it’s a trick?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Twilight but on a confident smirk. “We can handle it.”
[A few spicetastic minutes later]
The ponies followed the spiky haired henchman to the edge of the Everfree Forest. “Attention duelists!” he said. “If you could all stop staring at my hair for a moment, you would see that I have lead you to the Everfree Forest!”
“And that’s my cue to leave!” Fluttershy squealed after seeing the opening to the dark forest. She turned to run away, but Duke was blocking her path.
“Don’t you worry,” said Duke. “You’re safe with Duke Devlin.”
“For some reason, I don’t feel that much safer…” said Fluttershy.
