Spike's Journal 2

Chapters

Introduction:The Woes of Spike As Of Hitherto
The Return of Harmony, Part 1
The Return of Harmony Part 2
Lesson Zero
Luna Eclipsed
Sisterhooves Social
The Cutie Pox
May The Best Pet Win!
The Mysterious Mare Do Well
Sweet and Elite

Introduction:The Woes of Spike As Of Hitherto

Spike’s Journal 2
Written by The39Ponies
Edited by cwiis

Introduction:The Woes of Spike As Of Hitherto

Dear Diary,

Well, I've done it. I've bought yet another diary, to record whatever single engaging thing happens in Ponyville. And what does Twilight say to me after she sees me holding this little book? She scolds me for buying things without permission. And she was the one who wanted me to have a diary. Well, then again, she's going ballistic pretty often, so she can't remember pretty much anything she hasn't said in the past few days.

Why is she going ballistic? Well, it's kinda a complicated story. I know recaps are boring, so please excuse me for doing so.

The whole thing started after we came home from the Gala. It had been practically a disaster since Twilight and the gang hadn't achieved their dreams, we'd spent the whole night apart from each other, I burned the remaining pages on my diary while having a doughnut overload, and Celestia was being a royal pain again. Not exactly a desirable circumstance, but, hey, at least we were going home.

The problem was, when we got home, we discovered we were in a whole lot of trouble. You see, with everything happening since we went to Ponyville—insane dogs, cute but dangerous little fillies, etcetera—Twilight had forgotten to do one important thing: pay the bills.

At first, since Twilight was pretty rich anyway, I thought that this would be no problem at all. However, a day after we received the letter explaining the situation, a taxpony came to our house and complained that not paying for half a year was practically a crime. In order to escape jail, we had to pay double the price. You can imagine how Twilight reacted.

What's more, we discovered that since we hadn't shown up for quite a few days (we spent a week in Canterlot with Twilight's family), our customers were getting restless. In fact, they decided they didn't need permission to borrow the books on their own. So, when we settled down a little, we found out that around thirty books were missing.

And, oh yeah, most of those were really popular books, like Hoofy Potter and The Pony Games. Which meant that about a dozen more customers were waiting for them. Per book. Props to Owlowiscious for not doing anything at all.

I didn't see Twilight that much for the next few days except during mealtimes, and her hair was usually frizzy by then. By the time the whole thing was solved, we still had to do our bimonthly book purchases, and we had almost no money left. It was also bestseller season, which meant we lost all our customers to the book shop a few blocks away. Great. Just great.

Around this time, it occurred that Twilight practically saved Equestria with our friends. So why the hay did she have to pay tax?

__________________________________________
Unique Equine Facts #20:
Ponies always forget every single important thing that doesn't directly involve politics. Sheesh...
__________________________________________

To escape Twilight's constant breakdowns, I decided to escape to one of the gang's house. I didn't want to go to Fluttershy's house because of her many animals, and I didn't want to go to Sweet Apple Acres because those crazy fillies always end up there somehow. I couldn't go up to Rainbow's 'cuz I can't fly. Too bad, that would have been cool. Although I love Pinkie, I decided against it—I had enough of crazy things. So, I went to Rarity's.

Huge mistake. You see, apparently she had some "very important customers". They weren't even famous—she just had to design fancy wedding gowns and stuff. She was offered a huge price for it, and since her budget had been dropping ever since the Fluttershy incident, she spent her whole time onto those dresses. Which meant she didn't even notice me.

At what was about my one hundred and fortieth visit, she finally completed her orders and laid on a couch. Now that I finally had the chance to talk to her, I did so. Which went quite well, except that she screamed at me that she was tired and that she didn't want to talk to anypony. Especially a dragon.

I knew that she didn't mean what she said, but I was hurt so much that I went straight to Golden Oaks, where I did the same: collapse on a couch. After a few minutes of sulking, I went to sleep.

When I woke up, Twilight was scolding me for some reason, but blushing at the same time. Owlowiscious was also flapping wildly around the room. I realized that in my sleep, I had, er, done a number two. After I took a bubble bath, which lasted only for thirty minutes due to expenses, and stayed the rest of the day in my room. Well, actually it wasn't the rest of the day. It was the rest of the week. Maybe two weeks. By the time I got out, Rarity had already apologized. Well, that was better, but I was still sort of pissed.

Things weren't looking that good even after two weeks. Although most of the books had been recovered, there was always a page torn or two. Plus, whenever Rarity visited, there still was some tension. I was actually sorta relieved when Twilight told me she had decided I was allowed to go to the bookstore by myself. Frankly, I was wondering why I couldn't go to it before if I could go to Canterlot alone.

While I was walking past the school supplies section, I saw a bunch of diaries for sale. Reminding me yet again of that tragic incident at Pony Joe's, I decided to buy you for ten bits. Apparently you were an old diary that they never even bothered to pay attention to. I know how you feel. Twilight practically does that to me everyday.

So, here I am, writing a thousand-worded entry again. But I'm not crushed right now, like I was before. Alright, I'm sorta mad about the whole Twilight thing. But not by much. Part of that's because I just realized something.

If I record here every single financial, mental, or love problem that's coming my way, I'll have proof that I got through those woes without dying. (That is, if I don't die. And, who knows, if I die, my life might get turned into a movie, which is always nice.)

Then, I can show it to Rarity so that she'll just admire and hopelessly fall in love with me, instead of Finnick O Horse or Magnus Magpony or whatever her customers are named! And then, I'll show this book to Twilight, too, who will fall at my feet and beg me to forgive her that she said that I was immature! It's genius!

So, right now, I'm going to record every single thing that Twilight despairs at. And whatever comes by my way. All I have to do is to wait for something interesting to happen. Chocolate rain would be a good start...

-Spike

Author's Note

Note:In case you didn't know, ponies borrow a book for ten bits a week-that's how Golden Oaks works, and ponies usually borrow for a month.
And Spike's Journal 2 has finally started! Updates will be relativity slow, but not by much, so I'm sure you can handle it. Right?

The Return of Harmony, Part 1

Spike’s Journal 2
Written by The39Ponies
Edited by cwiis

The Return Of Harmony Part 1

Dear Diary,

It's happened again. Right after I finally start writing something that isn't a letter to the Princess, there's something new to worry about. Actually, this whole darn thing is so confusing I don't know whether to panic or not.

It all started last morning. Twilight finally had a moment of studying in peace, so all was relatively calm. Then, it started raining. Well, I'm not that sure it was rain. Last time I checked, rain was made of water, not chocolate. Well, I guess the heavens were listening to me. For some reason, I wish they hadn't.

Upon further investigation, we found out that the chocolate drizzle was coming from a cotton candy cloud. I was starting to think this was one of Pinkie's outdoor parties when a group of long-legged bunnies passed by. I don't think even Pinkie can do that.

We decided to check on our friends to see if the town was cursed or something. Twilight brought a book (as usual), and we left Owlowiscious in charge. Since Applejack's home was mostly outdoors, we decided to march near there.

When we got there, it was even more crazier. Not only was there chocolate rain (which Pinkie was drinking for some reason), there were also trees with giant apples being uprooted. Something was definitely wrong here.

Once we stopped staring at the whole thing, Twilight decided to use a spell we'd seen Celestia do every United Nations day. It was supposed to make the whole climate peaceful or something. It worked. Almost. Let's just say that I should be careful of what I wish for next time I do, or else it's going to come back to me in liquid form.

We decided to go to Canterlot (personally, I was thinking that this was another one of Celestia's grand schemes again). The train ride there wasn't exactly peaceful. Somehow, the coal got transfigured into little chocolate mints. After listening to a whoop of cursing from the conductor, we snuck out and took a cab.

The cab was sort of slow-running, and we got of after about three hours. Good thing, because the driver was starting to act like a dolphin. I swear, he was even making sounds and flipping his hooves. We tiptoed to the castle, wondering whether we were supposed to laugh or cry.

The Canterlot sky wasn't doing all that much better—purple pelicans were flying everywhere—but Canterlot Castle looked safe. Still, I'm still not sure whether the Star Swirl the Bearded statues had mustaches on them or not. They probably did.

By now I was feeling kind of grumpy. I decided that I would stay at the Sparkle's house while the gang visited Celestia. I don't think that was a very good choice. Twilight's mom and dad were trying to stop Shining Armor from standing on a couch and reciting some poem about Demon Pox or something. I went to the television room.

Equestria wasn't exactly weird proof. By the end of an hour, I had witnessed a sea of vanilla in Trottingham, exploding elephants in Appleloosa, and The Statue of Pony Liberty hosting a party. Still, that was nothing compared to Ponyville. When they showed footage of it, it was barely recognizable.

Since my cerebrum was exploding from confusion, I asked Twilight's mom for permission to go to Canterlot Castle to see Celestia and ask about the whole thing. Well, actually, I didn't need to. The whole family was on some unicycles I received for Hearth's Warming Eve when I was little, now singing a drinking song. After a few minutes of trying to actually talk to them, I decided I would go with my own permission.

It didn't help at all. The guards were missing for some reason, so I couldn't open the castle gates. I tried to climb a window, but I fell down halfway to a giant crab with maracas. In the end, I squeezed through a hole. The cramps are still affecting me right now.

After I could actually stand up, I searched for Celestia. I couldn't find her in the throne room, the bedrooms, or the record hall. I searched for Luna. I searched for Twilight's old foalsitter. I even searched for that Blueblood lout that tried to steal Rarity from me. No result.

Fearing that everypony but me had been infected by a disease, I broke into the kitchen for a sandwich (hey, food always helps). When I was putting some weird foreign sauce on it, I heard voices from a large closet. I saw Celestia there, wrapping, gathering, and spraying letters.

__________________________________________
Unique Equine Facts #21:
You always see ponies in unexpected places doing unexpected things.
__________________________________________

She didn't even notice me until I uncontrollably burped fire in her face. Being the good little dragon I am, I apologized. And then, to add to the list of weird things that happened today, she wasn't angry at all. Instead, she told me something along the lines of this:

"Spike, you might have a tummy-ache soon, and that's because—well, you'll, er, belch out several letters. I'm sorry that you have to, but it's our only hope. Our only hope. Otherwise, that-that-that—"

Then she said some words I never even dreamed of her saying and continued her work after.

Right now I'm in the guest bed, trying to lessen my pain and puzzle over everything. I have no idea what happened to everypony, but I have this feeling I will soon. Why? Well, I just noticed thunder coming from one of the castle maze gardens. That can't be good, right?

-Spike

The Return of Harmony Part 2

Spike’s Journal 2
Written by The39Ponies
Edited by cwiis

The Return Of Harmony Part 2

Dear Diary,

Before I describe what happened today, I would like to make it clear that this actually happened. I didn't make it up or something. My brain would probably be too simple to create this sort of thing anyway. I'm actually surprised I can remember it.

So, I'll start from what happened after I wrote the last entry. It would make a nice poem or something, but to put it simply, I just stared at the window and saw the latest carrot parade. About five minutes after they started humming the alphabet song in Ancient Griffin, the door finally opened. I immediately turned around, expecting to see Twilight levitating whoever did this by the ankle.

I really shouldn't be doing this after twenty five episodes of torture. I wonder if some cruel people were actually viewing my life on a television set or something, laughing at my pain.

When I looked at them, Twilight was faking a huge big grin. As usual. The others? Well, Applejack was doing the exact same thing. Applejack almost never does something that Twilight does, too. Pinkie Pie was practically growling at Fluttershy, who was smirking at her. For a while, I thought I was seeing things. Then I noticed Rarity was missing. And so was Rainbow Dash.

__________________________________________
Unique Equine Facts #22:
Want to know if you're having a bad dream or not? Well, it's easy to find out. When ponies you like are missing (note: missing, not dead on the floor), it's real.
__________________________________________

Naturally, I asked where the two of them were. As an answer, Twilight levitated me by the ankle and dragged me outside. No Rainbow Dash, but I did see Rarity. She was hugging and flattering this huge rock. You would have expected me to cry, but I didn't. Why? Well, for starters, one does not simply cry while seeing grasshoppers wrestling on the street.

Also, it was very hard for me not to think that everypony had been replaced with body clones of themselves. I think I've been learning from Doctor Whooves or whatever his name is.

I turned to Twilight, asking what had happened. She then blasted some of her magic spell stuff in my face, which teleported me back to the library. Hmph. You'd think I'd deserve to get a proper answer sometimes.

I covered my face with my hands as to not see the chaos happening in the library. Finally, I dared to. The chairs were still spotless, the books weren't rearranged, the path to the kitchen wasn't blocked. Everything was fine!

Then I saw Owlowiscious trying to escape from our cuckoo clock. I tried to help him, honest. But for some reason the clock was now made of pure steel. Joy. After several minutes, I gave up. Fortunately, I didn't have time go sulk in a corner, because right then the gang burst trough the door.

Everypony but Twilight was now in an nice shade of grey. Rarity was still rubbing the rock (who had been christened as "Tom" apparently), Applejack and Pinkie Pie were having an argument, and Rainbow still wasn't there.

Once again, I asked what had happened. Once again, Twilight didn't give me an answer. Instead, she told me to find that book about the Elements of Harmony she used to defeat Nightmare Moon. Well, that was easy enough. I just had to look under "E".

Cue everypony trying to grab it for no particular reason.

Finally, Twilight got her hands on the book. Surprisingly, the Elements were there. Well, Twilight wasn't surprised at all. She was absolutely delighted and told the others to wear their respective amulet and get into action. No result.

Exactly two minutes later, we were all outside and sorta grumpy. Well, I was half grumpy, half... half... uh, half, well, amused. You see, Twilight had just proclaimed me the "new Rainbow Dash". Don't get me wrong, I like Dashie and all. It's just that I have to admit I don't really qualify for the Element of Loyalty. I mean, I tried to run away once. I'm not the loyalest dragon on the planet. Still, there was no reason to argue right now.

Suddenly, someone, or someTHING appeared out of nowhere. I guess he was male, but you can really never know these days. He looked like a mixture between a lion, a pony, a dragon, and... I don't really know what else. Well, I suppose he was the one who did all this.

It's kinda hard to describe what he did but he basically lamented that the girls were going to defeat him again. Then, he made a target appear on his stomach (no, really), and told us to "fire".

Then, everypony floated in the air, their amulets shining brightly... aaaaaand I didn't float at all.

I don't know what happened next, because I ran outside and locked myself in the living room. By now, I had accepted that by the next day we would probably be running out of the country. I rushed to the closet to pack the few clothes I had. Then, I burped out a letter.

For once, I actually was glad Celestia sent us something. After all, somepony who ruled Equestria for a thousand years or so probably encounter this thing before, right?

It was the very first friendship report Twilight had sent. Before I could scream my rage against the dying of the light, I burped another letter. And another letter. And another letter.

I had burped about fifteen more letters before Twilight walked into the room. She was in a shade of grey now, too, but I cared more about my stomach. I really wasn't listening to her, although I do know she said something about moving before she picked up a letter. Then, she went purple again and ran out of the room, saying something about saving the fate of Equestria.

Sometimes I wished we stayed in Canterlot.

I'm not sure what happened next, but I guess I fainted. That's because I came into focus when I heard Celestia's voice. Apparently Twilight and the gals were back to normal. And so was Equestria. Hurrah.

You would have expected me to sing and dance, but in all honesty, I was sorta tired. Celestia was talking about a ceremony or something. I don't know what came over me, but I suddenly blurted out the idea that we could base the awarding ceremony on the one from Daring Do and The New Hope.

She practically jumped when she heard the idea, then went straight to the topic of the upcoming prequels. Gee whiz, can't I get a straight answer for once? Well, at least she finally listened to me and agreed.

There. I actually survived this whole thing. I also actually influenced Celestia on something. Yeah, this is pretty good evidence.

Today, I learned that Celestia isn't so bad after all. At least she actually did something.

-Spike

Lesson Zero

Spike's Journal 2
Lesson Zero
Written by: Cestler
Edited by: cwiis

Dear Diary,
It's official. I, Spike, am the most reasonable, sane, and responsible being in all Equestria.

No, really. Princess Celestia knighted me. Honest.

...Well, okay, maybe she didn't knight me. She did applaud me, however, for my wise and sensitive choice. In fact, I bet she'll be saying at the next banquet, "Have you heard of my student-not-student Twilight Sparkle? She's a genius, alright, but Spike's the real clever one there. If it weren't for him, we would have been depending all our lives on the fate of a stuffed donkey. What reward should I give him? Money? Books? A real television? No! I best crown him Prince of Equestria. But that's still not enough! No, I shall give him... Rarity!"

(Author's Note: I regret to inform you that Mister Spike has fallen asleep and has drooled on this page. Kindly imagine a wet blob of saliva right...about...here.)

Whoops. I think I sorta fell asleep there.

So, it all started yesterday. Early in the morning, Twilight woke me up early. Very early. As in 5 o'clock. Sheesh.
According to her, we were doing some 'early preparations' for our monthly friendship picnic, plus picking up some additional supplies. I groggily got our checklist (measured about 25 feet tops) and followed Twilight outside.

Doing errands was even less fun than usual. Aside from our heck of a scroll I had to drag along, I had to deal with another one of Twilight's panic attacks. She was concerned about 'spending too much' and 'taking it slowly'. Celestia gave us 500,000 bits, Twilight. 500,000 bits. Even tax won't be a problem for the next few years.

We got to our last deed on the list: buying cupcakes for the picnic. Twilight got a little bit too touchy with the frosting. At least I got free dessert. But nothing could ever prepare me for what would happen next.

We went home at two after eating lunch. I was practically exhausted. I wanted to sit in a jacuzzi and read Mystery on the Pony Express. (That could help me sometime, y'know.) My one big mistake was casually mentioning that Twilight hadn't wrote a letter to Princess Celestia this week. Bang.

After a bit of chaos that I really don't want to describe here (it involved magic kindergarten and staring out at the sun and stuff), Twilight rushed out of the house and left me alone. With the cupcakes. Maybe I ate just one.

I didn't see Twilight until four. By then, she was talking to herself. Not to mention her hair was messier than my 5-year-old handwriting. (Don't judge.)

I wanted to make sure that Twilight wasn't fiddling around with any magical rings or something, so I inquired her on what exactly was she doing. Somehow, I managed to convince her to head over to the picnic. By now, I figured Twilight didn't need me for a sanity check, so I skipped along to our treehouse.

Before I even opened the door, I saw the weekly stampede of ponies fighting over something. Daring to look, I found out that what they were fighting over Twilight's old Smarty Pants doll. That was the last straw. I sprayed Celestia's magical perfume on myself, spat fire on the ground and jumped right in before it spread.

Those poor letters. I'll never do that to them again.

Needless to say, I caused quite a shock when I landed in the middle of Celestia and Luna. Luna practically flew away, mumbling something about 'ponies these days' and 'even Sunset was a better student'.

When I had recovered, Celestia inquired me on what was happening. After explaining the whole doozy, she teleported herself out of there and left me alone. With her Horsehy's Kisses. Maybe I ate just one.

By the time she returned, she was looking pretty frustrated. She grabbed me and teleported out of there yet again.

We arrived at the library. Twilight looked pretty guilt-stricken. I tried to listen in on their conversation, but I didn't hear much, save the fact that Celestia apparently had forgave Twilight for whatever she did. She also asked each of our friends to write a letter whenever they wanted to. I'm interested to see what Pinkie writes in there.

So, yeah, Twilight thanked me a whole lot. Glad I finally got the recognition I deserved. Who knows, maybe she'll forgive me when she finds out about that pile of ash where the magazine rack once used to be.

Today, I learned that I am best dragon.

-Spike

**********

Ye Olde Records of Princess Luna the 12th
(Celestia Hath No Right To Read)
Mayflower May 8th

Nightmare Night dawns (or is that dusks? Nay, dawn sounds much better). A magical growth potion hast been prepared for myself with utmost caution. My mane shalt flow like the majestic night sky!

Prepare to meet thy Princess O Ponyville.

-Her Majesty Luna

(P.S I hast been reading modern literature. Sherclop Pones! What a fine book was The Pony of Fear! I hast proclaimed to Celestia that I desire to contact the fine pony who wrote them, Sir Arthur Clopnan Doyle. My sister looked at me in a queer manner, but I am sure it was just some early evening jitters.)

Luna Eclipsed

Spike's Journal 2
Luna Eclipsed
Written by Cestler
Edited by cwiis

Dear Diary,

I hope Twilight never becomes a Princess.

Really, I don't see the point in a monarchy. You have nobles like Princess Celestia, who, while pretty decent, actually don't do anything. You have nobles like Prince Blueblood, who are total louts. And finally, you have nobles like... Luna.

Yup. That Luna. The Luna who decided that the dark never bothered her anyway, let it go, and conquered Equestria for about five minutes before Celestia shot her to the moon, thus creating a new holiday to worry about.

Actually, I like Nightmare Night. You get to wear costumes. You also get the once-in-a-year option to scare the heck out of ponies and force candy out of them.

Unfortunately, Nightmare Night in Ponyville was a wee bit different from Nightmare Night in Canterlot. Somehow a top hat and a tuxedo doesn't count as a costume. I spent practically the whole day rummaging around the local supply store before the manager got annoyed and kicked me out. I finally decided to go out as myself. Literally.

Twilight wore a Star Swirl the Bearded costume. Frankly, I had no idea that Star Swirl actually lived in our retirement village, but whatever.

We had a pretty normal Nightmare Night for the next 2 hours or so. Sure, Rainbow Dash indirectly choked me, but I can always get her back later.

At around nine, we gathered in the hall for the annual story-telling ritual. Now that everypony knew that Zecora wasn't actually a real witch, she had been hired as storyteller. Kudos to her for rhyming five minutes straight.

Twilight, being interested at Ponyville customs (again) decided to accompany Pinkie Pie (who was dressed as one of Fluttershy's chickens) and her group of kids.

I liked the group. They actually weren't bad as fillies go. I made some small talk with Pipsqueak, a new pony in town. Apparently he's only four and doesn't even go to school yet. He lives with his sister, since his parents work in Manehattan. Carrot Top cares for Pip, but she usually tends to her garden more than him. I know how that feels.

Eventually we reached the statue, as well as the climax of Zecora's story. You know, the part that warns you about having to sacrifice your candy to Nightmare Moon. That part of the tale always bothered me. From what I've seen, candy isn't Nightmare Moon's biggest worry.

The fillies were absolutely terrified thanks to a giant green gas representation of Nightmare. They dumped their candies onto the ground and shivered. You can probably guess what happened next.

——————
Unique Equine Facts 22:
Speak of the pony and she doth appear.
——————

Seriously though, that tune is still stuck in my head.

Needless to say, nopony was particularly pleased at Luna gatecrashing our little party. Well, except for Twilight. She was overjoyed. Obviously she wanted to see what Luna thought of her costume. I hissed at her to bow down.

Luna had good intentions. She gave a loud (very loud) speech on how we were both her subjects and friends, how Nightmare Night was originally a feast instead of a trick-or-treat fest, and how Dracomione was superior to Harmione.

Nearly everypony ran away.

In all honesty, me and Twilight kinda felt sorry for Luna. However, I wasn't about to go anywhere near her. Seriously, she ~~wrecked my ship~~ nearly destroyed my life the last time she visited Ponyville. What the hay?

Well, I let Twilight have it her way. I went back to Town Square and played some games for a while. Come ten, Luna and Twilight showed up. Luna definitely seemed less insane now, even playing along with us. Things were going great.

It was the perfect time for Pipsqueak to ignore the rules of not letting anypony below 8 participate in apple bobbing without supervision. Luna tried to help him, but Pinkie came to the conclusion she was gobbling up his backside.

Suffice to say, Luna suffered a Rage Quit, a phrase which here means 'summon an epic thunderstorm and cancel Nightmare Night for good'.

Good job, Pinkie. Not only have you made Dashie dump a childhood friend, laughed in the face of danger, defied gravity and gone completely insane in a little over a year, you've also screwed things up for the fillies. Big time.

Way to go!

Fortunately, Twilight had a plan. After having a little chat and experimentation with Luna, the Princess learned that we all loved her for being scary. Yeah, right.

Oh, well. Once again, the day is saved, thanks to Twilight Sparkle! And Spike!

(Hey, at least I gave Luna some of my candy. In return, she helped me get some sweet revenge.)

Today I learned that sweets are the best way to bribe the royal family.

-Spike

The Royal Guards' Yearbook
October 31th - Nightmare Night
About This Day: The batponies do all the dirty work. We're free.

Reports

.Prince Blueblood displeased at our service today. Thinks costumes are 'waste of time'. Refers to my outfit as 'madness'. Madness? Madness? This is vintage!
-Solid Shield

.Fancypants reportedly saw somepony breaking in West Wing. Investigated. It was Her Majesty gathering cake. Idiots.
-Sir Gallop

.Saw my brother dressing up. Acted stoic. Didn't respond to anyone. Growled at anyone who stole his candy. I had a laugh. Then I realised that he was me.
-Hoof Breaker

.This place sucks. I just want to go to somewhere with beautiful crystals and beautiful jewels and beautiful princesses and beautiful mirrors....
-Flash Sentry

.Cadence dressed up as Raphoofzell. We had a fun time.
-Shining Armor

Sisterhooves Social

Spike's Journal 2
Written by Cestler
Edited by cwiis
Sisterhooves Social

The Cutie Mark Crusaders Club Storybook
Written by Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and Scootaloo
Commentary by Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and Scootaloo

Contents
I. About the Club Storybook
II.About the Author(s)
III.Stories
1.Sisterhooves Social:Or, How My Sister Learned A Lesson
-by Sweetie Belle
(more coming soon!)

I. About the Club Storybook
The Cutie Mark Crusaders Club Storybook is arguably the best book in Equestria.
This book was created about three days ago, when Scootaloo complained about the fact that every single one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' adventures together were mostly about tree sap.
Sweetie Belle came up with the suggestion that they create a separate book for each of the member's individual engagements and problems. Applebloom thought this was a great idea. Scootaloo disagreed.
By the next day, however, all three of them had sacrificed the few allowance they had left to buy a new club notebook.
This book will recap every adventure the Cutie Mark Crusaders had on their own. One pony will submit a story and transfer it here. The other two will comment and maybe argue.
By no means should this notebook land in the hooves of Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Rarity.

II.About the Authors
Applebloom is the unofficial leader of the CMC. She lives with her sister AJ, her brother Big Mac and her Granny Smith. She would like you to buy some apples.
Sweetie Belle is the only sane pony in the CMC. She is also the only one to have a surname. She lives with her parents, Mommity and Daddity, and visits her sister Rarity on weekends. Do not insult reading in front of her.
Scootaloo is the awesomest member of the CMC. She hates long paragraphs.

III. Stories

1.Sisterhooves Social
Or, How My Sister Learned A Lesson
By Sweetie Belle

Sisterhooves Social
I both hate and love my sister.
-Anne Hooves

Two years ago, my sister Rarity graduated from Ponyville University. She moved to a house nearby and called in "Carousel Boutique."

AB:Hold on, she lived where she work?

Yup.

SC:If I lived where I worked, I would have a fun time with Rainbow Dash.
AB:What?

Anyway, as I mentioned in my profile, I visit this house every Saturday, much to the disdain of Rarity. To make up for it, I decided to do chores this particular Saturday.

SC:That's not helping at all!

Yes, I know, I--

SC:You could have gotten movie tickets for her! Or bought a book for her! Or ordered a private cruise with fancy... stuff!
AB:Scoots, we're nine years old.
SC:So? Dashie is twenty years old! And she threw a party for Fluttershy!
AB:She's a legal adult.
SC:Rainbow Dash could never be a boring adult!
AB:Did you just call my sister a boring adult?

As well as mine?

SC:Well...I mean, they are kinda cool. Dash, on the other hand, is--

This isn't about Rainbow Dash, it's about me and my sister.

SC:Okay, I get it, I'll stop.

Now, back to the story. I woke up at exactly four o'clock in the morning. After drinking some ginger beer and eating some jelly babies, I made my own breakfast. I hoped I could get a cutie mark for cooking.

AB:All by yourself? Who plugged in the stove and stuff? Aren't you scared of that sparky thing?
SC:It's called ellektrosity.

What Scootaloo said. I plugged it in fine. I mean, maybe the stove didn't work as well as I wanted to, but... never mind. Imagine my suprise when my parents came into the room.

SC:Hold on, I thought your parents lived nearby.

They do. I had forgotten my teddy bear. As thanks for returning it, I invited them to breakfast. They looked a little uncomfortable-ish, but they ate anyway. Actually, I don't think they ate anything. They just stared at the porridge until Rarity came rushing into the room.

SC:Uh-oh.

Rarity held her temper for awhile. Our parents were going to Amareica for the next two weeks, after all. When they left, however, she wanted me out of her way. Quickly.

AB:Applejack does that to me too, sometimes.
SC:See? I'm lucky my sister is at college!
AB:Huh. AJ was smart and all, but she never went to college. What did your sister take?
SC:Medicine. She makes potions and that sorta stuff.

Uh, guys! You're doing it again. I didn't listen to Rarity, and ended up washing her clothes for her. Problem is I think I shrunk her sweater. At least it can be Opal's now.

She left me in my room and told me to stay there. I decided to make a simple craft to show that I still loved my sister despite her being a massive ------

AB:WHAT?
SC:0-0

Why? What's wrong?

SC:YOU KNEW THAT WORD?

Sure. We don't steal Spike's diary for nothing!

SC:
AB:The tongue is, a, er, double edged sword.

Just kidding, I'll cross that out. I used some pretty diamonds for my art. Unfortunately, they seemed to be Rarity's precious jewels.

AB:I can tell the moral lesson of this story already.

What moral lesson? This club notebook is just for fun!

Needless to say, Rarity was furious. I had a bit of an argument with her. We sort of sounded like broken records.

SC:You hiccuped?

No. I eventually shouted to Rarity that we weren't sisters anymore. Then I slugged outside and walked to nowhere. Until who but Apple Bloom should come along!

She tried to cheer me up. She showed me a flier for the annual Apple family competition, the Sisterhooves Social. Well, that was a bad idea. She should have known that I was in a fight with Rarity! She can be so stupid sometim--

AB:Hi there.

Um, nothing. Apple Bloom (the wisest and kindest pony I have ever met) brought me over to her farm. I played for awhile with her Applejack, her big sister. We spent the night roasting marshmallows. Who should turn up when we were going to bed but Rarity.

I wasn't very nice to her. After a bit of heated discussion, I went to Apple Bloom while she went to Applejack.

AB:Mah sister is the best.

Maybe. The next day, it was time for the Sisterhooves Social. I was pretty bummed out that I had nopony to participate with.

Fortunately, Apple Bloom here, being a good friend and all, lent me her sister. Applejack was going to participate with me in the race! Boy, was I excited.

AB:I'm still waiting for a return free.

Yeah, I'll give I'll to you soon enough. As I said, we were going to enter in the race. This was gonna be a blast!

We ran for about five minutes before AJ landed. Straight in the mud! I helped her up. We continued the rest of the race, carrying eggs on our noses, that sort of stuff.

We saw the finish line. We were going to win! Then we tripped. Some other stupid fillies won the race. Oh, well, Applejack was still the best sister ever.

Or so I thought. As I was saying what I said, AJ wiped the mud of herself, and as it turned out, it wasn't AJ. It was... Rarity!

SC:Big surprise.

Rarity apologised for being kinda a jerk. She told me later when we were writing our letter to the Princess that AJ gave her a little talk of the importance of sisterly bonding. Well, I think I like my sister a little better now.

AB:Hold on. Did you just say 'write a letter to the Princess'?

Yeah. Why?

AB:Since when could you write a letter to Princess Celestia?

Didn't you hear? Her Majesty gave Rarity and the others permission to write to her whenever they wanted.

SC:Since when?

Um...well...I can't remember. Maybe it was at the Gala, or their awarding ceremony? I can't recall.

SC:Hold on, what did we do last Sunday?

We... we... we...

AB:Uh oh. I think Granny Smith gave us...the amnesia !
SC:Gah! ...Wait, what's amnesia?

I... I think it's sort of some disease where you forget certain events.

SC:Oh... my... oh my Martin Freemare!
AB:We better find some random cure, and quickly!
SC:Let's go over to Zecora's!

Tally ho!

_____________________
Transcript ends here, though there are hoofmarks over the page.
_____________________

Author's Note

. Sorry for the delay. I made the mistake of finishing all of the Fifth Doctor's serials in one week whilst staying in bed (sniffles).
They're awesome.
Oh, yes, I'm still placing this story under the 'Hiatus' tag because the chapters are coming every one or two weeks or so. School life!

The Cutie Pox

Spike's Journal 2
The Cutie Pox
Written by Working Class Writer
Edit by cwiis

Dear Journal,

As ashamed I am to admit this, I learned last week that those three fillies are older than me. They're already eleven years old! I still have a few months before I turn that age. Honestly, I'd never expect them to be that old. Though, they did do most of their recent 'crusading' alone, so that might explain things.

If that's the way eleven year olds act, however, I think I'm going to stay ten forever. Twilight says that dragon ageing is a complicated process, and that the only reason why I haven't eaten raw meat yet or something is because I've been domesticated. It's not that I envy the lives of wild dragons-I'm comfortable at the library-but if I'm going to act like that in a few months, I'd say roaming around the hills is a much safer bet.

What am I talking about? That Applebloom filly somehow stole a potion of sorts from Zecora's hut and used it to gain a cutie mark. Sounds like an ingenious plan, though perhaps a slightly dirty one, but it turns out that it cause her to gain this rare disease called the Cutie Pox. It's exactly what it sounds like. At the very least, I did feel a little bit special that I lived in a town with the world's only tap-dancing, juggling, chess champion lion tamer filly for awhile, but fortunately the disease has been cured now.

I don't really get why ponies are so obsessed with getting tattoos on their flanks. I mean, everypony has to be good at something, it's basic logic. You'll probably get yours before you graduate, why worry in the first place?

And what, for that matter, ever happened to fillies who are prodigies from childhood? What if somepony is just naturally good in solving equations or playing a sax? Do they get their cutie marks at birth? Really, I'm glad I'm a dragon. Anyway, if I was a pony, I would have gotten a cutie mark by now for my talent in being the only sane living being in the room most of the time. Now, I wonder what that cutie mark would look like.

-Spike

The Cutie Mark Crusaders Club Storybook
Written by Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and Scootaloo
Commentary by Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and Scootaloo

Contents
I. About the Club Storybook
II.About the Author(s)
III.Stories
1.Sisterhooves Social:Or, How I Thought My Sister A Lesson
-by Sweetie Belle
2.The Cutie Pox;Or, How Zecora Tricked Me
(more coming soon!)

I. About the Club Storybook
The Cutie Mark Crusaders Club Storybook is arguably the best book in Equestria.

This book was created about three days ago, when Scootaloo complained about the fact that every single one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' adventures together were mostly about tree sap.

Sweetie Belle came up with the suggestion that they create a separate book for each of the member's individual engagements and problems. Applebloom thought this was a great idea. Scootaloo disagreed.

By the next day, however, all three of them had sacrificed the few allowance they had left to buy a new club notebook.

This book will recap every adventure the Cutie Mark Crusaders had on their own. One pony will submit a story and transfer it here. The other two will comment and maybe argue.

By no means should this notebook land in the hooves of Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Rarity.

II.About the Authors
Applebloom is the headpony and recorder in most of the CMC's previous adventures. Her greatest wish is to get her Cutie Mark legally and properly. She lives in Sweet Apple Acres with her disfunctional family.

Sweetie Belle is the only pony that knows how to spell in the CMC. (She corrects Applebloom's spelling, but Scootaloo digresses). She is also the only one to make any actual sense. Her heart's desire is to live in peace.

Scootaloo is the most bestest member of the CMC. Her wish upon a star is to stop wishing upon a star. She is not a chiken.

III. Stories

1.Sisterhooves Social
Or, How My Sister Learned A Lesson
By Sweetie Belle

2.The Cutie Pox
Or, How Zecora Tricked Me
By Applebloom
(more coming soon!)

The Cutie Pox

...look, guys, I'm sorry, alright?

Gee whiz, Applebloom. We swallow our pride and try to be happy for you when you get your own cutie mark, but it turns out to be a fake. Typical.

I agree with Scootaloo.

Look, guys, I was desperate.

So are we, but we're not that desperate! We probably wouldn't steal a potion we don't even know that much about and drink it without proper instructions.

Guys, look, you may not have your cutie marks, but Sweetie's sister is a somewhat famous designer and Scootaloo's parents work at a respectable cloud factory. My family works in a farm and my accent is only going to get worse in the months to come.

Fair enough, but you'll have to write the whole story right here, right now. Wouldn't be fair if you didn't.

Fine, fine. Though we already agreed to that, otherwise I wouldn't be writing in here...

Anyway, it all began when we decided to try out finding if bowling was our special talent. It would have worked properly. We were going to be the Bowling Dolls, Equestria's greatest! But, no, we couldn't knock over a pin. Why, we were goo.

Bowling dolls...goo...goo goo...dolls...

Scoots, stop thinking of a new name for a band, that's never going to happen again. Remember; a rolling stone gathers no moss.

So does a rolling bowling ball, apparently. Old Sea Swirl ended up getting his own cutie mark. Do you remember Sea Swirl? We were in class with him last year. His father should stick away from sea ponies.

Ewwww. Thanks for reminding me, Applebloom.

Your welcome. So, the two of you tried cheering me up, and I appreciate that, but, as I mentioned, I get bothered by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon more than you two do and mah accent's only gunna get mer rough. I just wanted to be alone, in perfect seclusion.

But you ended up going to Zecora's hut.

Yes, I did. She's pretty much the oldest equine here next to Granny Smith, and no way was I talking to Granny. She got her cutie mark when she was six. Unfortunately, her pie baking days are pretty much over...

The reason why I ended up there was because I chipped my tooth and Zecora wanted to help out, Celestia bless her. While she was treating me

She didn't lecture you on the importance of waiting for your cutie mark?

You spoil everything, Scoots! Yeah, she did that. She had to go after I had been fixed up, though, as she had a client. There was this rooster who couldn't cock-a doodle-do or something.

Since when were roosters citizens that could order their own potions?

Roosters are citizens too, Scootaloo!

Hold on...

cit·i·zen
ˈsidizən,ˈsidisən/
noun
a legally recognized creature living in a state governed by a ruling pony. All citizens have hooves with very few expections.
"a Equestrian citizen"

Roosters don't have hooves, and I'm not sure they're part of the very few exceptions, Sweetie.

It might have been a very special rooster.

Guys, stop. Please. Either way Scootaloo finally consulted the dictionary so we can all die and ascend to pony heaven now.

The potion that Zecora was using to treat this very special rooster was a potion called 'Heart's Desire'. It could basically grant anything the user wanted. Naturally, I was interested.

Aha! So, that's how you got that hula hoop for a cutie mark. I never thought tossing hoops was really your thing.

Well, yes, I showed up to school with just that. You know the story, everyone bought it, and I spent the next few minutes showing off my special talents.

After which, you got your second cutie mark...

I thought I was the one supposed to be telling the story.

We know the details of your brand new rodeo cutie mark, Applebloom. ..tell us how you got more than two special talents.

Stop looking at me, like that, Sweetie, it's creeping me out.

Hee hee.

Okay, so at home, my family was practically fawning over me. Sorry, but it's kind of the truth. Applejack even said I was ready for the rodeo. I felt mighty proud of myself. Then, the tap dancing cutie mark came, and everything was ruined.

AJ called Twi over, and with the help of another one of her fancy books we figured out that I had been struck with the bad case of the Cutie Pox. Basically, that's a really rare disease that makes cutie marks appear all over your flank

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

...as Scootaloo is totally sympathetic to. I gained another cutie mark, this time for talking like they do in Prance. I really hope Twilight doesn't know any Prench. I think I swore a bit.

We decided to head over to Zecora's to fine a cure. Granted, going to a doctor would probably be safer, but Zecora's had a lot of experience and she was the first one I thought of. However, we were stopped dead in our tracks by even more cutie marks appearing on me, and the town ponies got into a bit of a fuss when they realized that I was sick.

Is this the point where Zecora magically appears?

How did you-

Well, it was the only possible solution.

So, as I was whipping up lions into shape (you know I was forced to, girls, I'm not a fan of animal cruelty) and fixing otherponies hair, Zecora planted some fancy seeds and said that they could cure the disease, but they would only grow if somepony told the truth. Pinkie attempted to help, bless her too, but either she wasn't telling the truth or the seeds didn't suscribe to her craziness.

Annnd I think I know what happened too. You ended up telling the truth and the seeds grew and Zecora cured you up.

Wow. You two are geniuses. At any rate, this was my first time writing a letter to the Princess. I hope I did okay.

As naughty as a filly as you are, Applebloom, you still write well enough judging from your exams in Equestrian Language.

Thanks! So, now that it's all over, I think we agreed to try out cutie marks for potion-making, right?

Well, my sister IS a doctor.

And all unicorns are required to have basic knowledge of Potions in high school, I'm sure Rarity has some lying around.

Gee whiz, how are we going to get cutie marks if we follow otherpony's instructions? We're going to make our own potions, Crusaders!

Let's hop to it!

You mean literally?

Sure, why not?

______________________
Transcript ends here, though there are both hoofmarks and tree sap all over the page.

Author's Note

ITS BACK

My editor is quite busy and hasn't sent me the edited copy yet, which is understandable. Please do tell me if there's anything wrong, and I'll replace the story with the edited copy as soon as I can :twilightsmile:

May The Best Pet Win!

Spike's Journal 2
Written By Working Class Writer
Edited by cwiis

Dear Diary,

So, apparently pets are in fashion now. Well, that's too bad for Twilight. It's not as if Twilight has an objection to what Rarity does or such, she just went into a rant to Roseluck once at the local thrift store that fashion was entirely in one's mind and that it insulted the idea of being one's self and individuality or something. We just happened to get the owl right in time, though, so now Twilight's...in fashion. So much for Osclop Wilde.

You see, a few days ago Rainbow Dash was looking for Fluttershy frantically. She had seen us playing with our own pets and she somehow got it set on her mind that she needed one, stat. A few painful rhymes later, she decided that she couldn't choose between one pet and the other, and she and Fluttershy decided to hold a competition to see which pet was the best for her.

As a result, after noon today we were gathered at Fluttershy's (quite extensive) lawn to watch Fluttershy's animals compete for Rainbow's approval. To be fair, there were some pretty cool animals there, such as hawks and falcons and eagles and such. I have no idea where Fluttershy got any of these animals, but if she can take care of them, I guess she must be pretty smart in terms of that stuff. Now that I think of it, if she wasn't so squeamish she could probably become a vet or even a nurse, maybe a doctor.

One of the animals was a bat, which was pretty much the animal I wanted to win. I mean, that thing was kind of...well, cute. Also, just imagine how awesome it would be to have a pet that could help you in the dark. You could even give it some interesting names! Batmare for a pop culture reference, or maybe Batevya if you want to be fancy and stuff. I could name it Bat-no, wait, I can't write that. This fanfiction is rated E.

So, Rainbow had the animals go through some competitions. The bat did pretty well in all of them, as expected. An owl also got through the tests, but, sheesh, why would you want that, Dashie? That would be cliche. There was also the falcon, as I mentioned earlier, and the eagle too. A tortoise that Dash had frequently disapproved of earlier wanted to join as well. She was a bit annoyed, but she decided to let it join anyway.

Now, I can understand that Dash was looking for speed, but aside from the other problem of a tortoise not being able to fly, there wouldn't be anything that bad about a tortoise. I was still rooting for the bat, but tortoises are cuddly. The only thing I have against them is the concept of them (and turtles) having no shells attached. That mental picture is disturbing. What happens if you remove the shell out of a tortoise? Do you see bugs and insects crawling on its back? For that matter, what does its back look like? Is it a slimy green mess? ...I'd rather not think about it.

Unfortunately, Dash has to think about it often because, as it turns out, it ended up being her pet. Yeah, it did. I'm spoiling the whole outcome of the situation for you, Diary. Do you have anything to say to that? No? Alright, then. Let me explain things.

The last competition was a race through...dun dunn dunnn...GHASTLY GORGE! Dunn dunn dunn. Okay, that was annoying, sorry. The first pet to win would obviously be hers, and as an additional twist she would be racing too. So, off they went, along with the tortoise...who was as slow as a truck.

Ah, well, pity shouldn't get in the way of my favourites. Go, Batmare, go.

However my favouritism was unfortunately halted when an avalanched occured just before we expected Rainbow to show up at the finish line. Naturally, we freaked out. The concept of our friend being trapped or even crushed by a boulder is even more scary that the concept of a tortoise without a shell.

Surprisingly, just as Twilight was about to go and look for her, Rainbow came out. With the turtle. I'm not sure how that happened, but the guy (who she named Tank-not even sure what a tank is, but her decision is her decision) managed to help her out when she got her wing crushed by a boulder of sorts. Either way, Dash and Tank bonded over the walk to the finish line, and the rest is history. I feel kind of sorry for the falcon, though. ...I'm still going to make sure to ask Fluttershy about the bat.

Today, I learned that I, too, am a victim of fashion.

-Spike

The Mysterious Mare Do Well

Spike's Journal 2
Written by Working Class Writer
Edited by cwiis

The Mysterious Mare Do Well

You know, Rainbow Dash is pretty cool. She's awesomely cool. Totally radically coolish kind of awesome, do you see what I mean?

(I hope Twilight never lays her hooves on this diary. She'll throw me out of the house.)

Either way, Rainbow Dash is pretty fly for a mare who enjoys excessive athletic activity. I was, therefore, honored when she asked me to ghostwrite her autobiography. She's been getting more popular in Ponyville recently, for reasons having to do with being hailed the town hero, and according to her the fillies (especially that orange one who'll obviously fail flight school) are practically begging for one. I was aware that this could be a sign of Dashie needing a slice of humble pie, but I needed the money.

So, here's what I learned from my latest book, entitled 'The Life And Times of Rainbow B. Dash', in no particular order:

-Despite Rainbow's actual legitimate name being 'Blitz', her father had to change it after he realized that Rainbow wasn't a colt after all (Blitz is a colt's name). This was of disappointment to him.

-Rainbow once starred in a Flight School play as an extra in the background who kept on shouting 'LESS TAXES'!

-Rainbow's favorite part about the rain is that it literally has the power to stop her mother from flying over to visit her from Fillydelphia.

-Dashie dislikes the musical 'The Unicorn of Oz' as she hates that whiny tin Earth Pony. Definitely had no brain.

-She can set fire to the rain.

As I was taking down my notes, however, it seemed to be that Rainbow Dash was focusing less on saving ponies and more on her natural talent for it (I thought her natural talent was racing...). I'll be honest, she was starting to get a bit overdone at this point. As she was talking to another one of her fans, Berry Punch noticed for once that a bus was falling off a cliff. See, Princess Celestia, this is why you should never trust machinery. We should just stick with magic.

As she was racing towards the darn thing, I tried to say in my most satirical tone possible 'The tension is unbearable! Will Rainbow Dash make it on time?!'. Apparently I didn't do so well as the other ponies gasped along with me as the bus was saved by...

...a Batmare lookalike. No, seriously. The mare (wait, how were we sure she was a mare again? Is society finally turning itself over?) even had a logo and a cape. Seriously, there was nothing special about her other than the fact that she managed to save a bus. Which is pretty cool, but she attracted quite the attention from the crowd. Naturally, Rainbow was jealous.

Unique Equine Facts #22

Never encounter new ponies without you previously hearing of them. They'll just turn out to be plot devices.

By the week after, this Mare Do Well (that was her actual name, honest) persona was spreading wildly around the town. Somehow, she managed to have the magic of a unicorn, the flight and speed of a pegasus, and the sturdiness and strength of an Earth Pony! Well, that was odd. Fortunately, no matter what Twilight may think I actually have a brain. It was obvious that Mare Do Well wasn't just one mare. Either that or it was Princess Luna's illegitimate filly, which I highly doubt, to say at the least.

The next time the seven of us met, all of them were teasing Dashie quite a bit on the whole Mare Do Well business. It didn't take long for me to realize that Twilight and the others were probably the Batmare lookalikes themselves. I winked at her just as Applejack was talking about humbleness, and she winked back at me. I'm glad she acknowledges my deductive skills.

For the next few days or so, Dashie, in a feeble attempt to become Ponyville's most recent hero, saved other ponies from the treacherous, mind-boggling effects of WEEDS! And old age, of course. You have to be wary of old age. It's a pain to deal with. ...Twilight's dad's words, not mine.

I started to feel kind of bad for Rainbow, though. Perhaps she did need a slice of humble pie, but the poor mare was driving herself to humiliation. Fortunately, Twilight and the rest got this, and decided to stop once they decided Dashie had enough. Strangely, no drama occurred, and Dashie did accept the slice of humble pie the others were serving. ...that's not like her. At all. Knowing Rainbow Dash, she would sulk in her house for a week. Maybe Tank's changing her.

Ah, well, that doesn't matter. What matters is that, speaking of bats, it turns out that those things can't see at all in the day and Fluttershy has to give them medicine in order to prevent them from growing blind. That bat still is adorable, but I have too much responsibility on my hands. Sigh. Why can I never get a pet? That owl is nice, but he's not very good company. In particular, he has a weird tendency to suffer from memory loss. Why can't he remember anything for once?

-Spike

Sweet and Elite

Spike's Journal 2

Sweet and Elite

Dear Journal,

Well, it happened. Rarity went on vacation. For over a week. To be honest, I'm not sure what I did during those past few days. I seem to recall it consisted of me peering at the newspaper everyday to find out if the headlines contained something like 'CANTERLOT BURNED DOWN TO THE GROUND BY TRAITOR SOLDIERS; GORGEOUS WHITE MARSHMALLOW PONY MISSING' or 'STRANGE WHITE MARSHMALLOW PONY FROM COUNTRY MAKES UP WITH PRINCE BLUEBLOOD THE THIRD, NOW ENGAGED'.

Fortunately, I saw nothing of note except 'SUDDEN CHANGELING DROP IN POPULATION, MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE TO BE INVESTIGATED' but that's not as if it's going to be particularly of note to my life, anyway. What would strange bug creatures want to have to do with us?

Still, I've been really missing Rarity a lot, obviously. I mean, it is the crush, but I've actually started to talk to her in these last few months, so I guess you could say we're kind of friends. Applejack's told me that it's probably something called puberty, but I'm not even sure what that is. Either way, I was quite excited when Twilight told me that we were going to spend Rarity's last night in Canterlot with her before getting home for her birthday.

The train ride to the place was a little bumpy. The Running of the Leaves had taken place recently, and some ponies had crossed our path and left some marks on it. Rainbow Dash and Applejack got a good laugh of it when they heard the reason (they had managed to get a good third and seventh place this year, by the way).

When we arrived at Canterlot, I realised something: it's changed quite a bit. There were new roads and extensions built in some places and it took a pretty long time for us to end up at the castle. I guess it's because Discord's chaos ended up wrecking some things permanently. Not even Celestia's magic can fix everything. That's sort of depressing.

The six of us stopped by Twilight's old house for dinner, and we had a nice meal. I've almost forgotten how good Twilight's parents are in cooking. (Pinkie Pie seemed to agree with me.) When I finished dinner, however, it was getting pretty late, so Twilight decided that she and the other mares would fetch Rarity alone and come back at around ten. Which was fine with me, desert and a talk with Shining Armor is a good combination. Plus, ten wasn't that late.

While me and Shining were gobbling up sundaes his father had made for the two of us, Shining Armor mentioned that he was going out with a mare. After congratulating him, I asked what her name was, and Shining blushed and murmured that it was private for now. Which was weird, since me and him like each other quite well, but I respected the dude's privacy. His job was going alright too.

We expected Twi and the rest to show up after a few hours, but they didn't arrive. Worried that something had happened to them, our folks asked us to check up on Twilight. So, me and Shining took a private cab to the castle tower. After a bit of a mess regarding our identities and what we were doing at the castle this late (the main issue was that I was too young to get an ID and that I wasn't a equine. Well, the main issue that I have with the guards is that they forget things fast. I'm kind of under the guardianship of one of the most important unicorns in Equestria, and I have been to the castle on occasion. Heck, I was even born in the castle. Seriously?) we were allowed to go inside.

So, we entered the ballroom, and the two of us got spotted at once. Not by Twilight, or Rarity, or any of the others, but by the upper class. One half of the populace took notice to me and the lack of hooves on my torso, again (really, I'm starting to realise why Twilight is ranting so much about racial discrimination) and the other half focused on the Royal Guard. I really am a victim of fashion.

When we finally found Rarity (oh, and the other girls) she was talking to a stallion. I was about to cry in protest when Shining Armor quickly pointed out that the stallion in question was Fancy Pants, who was a perfectly decent pony and over fifty. Also, he had a wife. Er, I should really learn to stop jumping to conclusions.

...hold on, now that I'm writing this, I just realised something. How on earth did Shining know about my infatuation with Rares? Unless...

...Twilight told him.

That.

Freaking.

Mare.

Alright; I just came back from angrily demanding that Twilight stop leaking details about my private life to other family relatives. She pointed out that Shining Armor has a good sense of deduction, being one of the Royal Guards and all, and that she would never risk the chance of Pinkie Pie murdering her once she split a secret. Also, she's decided I'm getting far too hormonal and is prohibiting me from listening to things like Fall Out Colt until I mature. Sheesh. Ask a random question...

To continue on (I've listened to Fall Out Colt's discography about a million times already anyway), once Rarity spot us she gave me a big hug-yeeeee I totally don't mind that being quite sappy-and said that she had missed me (!). She described her time here, which had been mostly about mingling with members of society. She had learned from the rest to stick up for her friends from the lower class, though.

We hung out for awhile and came home a quarter to midnight. Well, that was quite the extension. Twilight's mum was practically raging, and I'm quite convinced she only didn't murder Shining and me because it was Twilight's birthday. We quickly went to bed, but not before we each wished Twilight a happy birthday.

A few tearful goodbyes were exchanged between family and friends the next morning later, though Twilight tried to promise and visit soon. We went home mostly in peace, though Shining give me a tip before I went on the train. That is, you can drown twelve buckets of ice cream fast enough if you add a Heating Spell to it. Shining always gives me the most useless advice. I love him.

Today, I didn't learn much except that I realised that Twilight's birthday is strangely close to mine. I'm turning eleven next week! That's more than a decade of weird stuff. And if my species life span holds true that's still about a century more to come. Considering how long unicorns and earth ponies live, plus the fact that Dash is super athletic even for a pegasus and that Fluttershy is a vegetarian, that means a century more of strangeness.

Who knows what's going to happen?

-Spike