Fallout Equestria: Among the Ashes

by Savage4life19

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Dark
Length: 7387

A former outlaw of the Equestrian Wasteland, wonders the world seeking redemption for his passed sins, meets up with a

"when we all imagined the end, nopony ever thought it would be like this."

Over 200 years have passed since Equestria was seered in the blaze of balefire. The descendants of those who ended the world now struggle to survive among the ashes of a time were friendship was magic, but now a desolate wasteland full of mutants and bandits….where death is now more common than life. Blindfire, a former bounty hunter and outlaw, now travels the wasteland to seek redemption for the sins that have burned his very soul. Along the way he meets a nurse, fresh out of her stable, reluctantly he shows her the ways of the wasteland, life is cruel here, and the only way to be….is even more cruel. Happy travels….

Inspired by Fallout Equestria by Kkat, and the Fallout video games by Bethesda and Obsidian, cover art by http://pridark.deviantart.com/

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-15 15:19:24 UTC

Prologue: Another day in the wastes

Prolauge: Another day In the wastes

My hooves thudded against the metal floor, the rusted halls were riddled with clutter and bodies decayed with time, there was barely any power lighting the dust that silently floated in the air. Busted speakers emitted the static filled voices of long ago, along with the popping wires that protruded from the dark ceiling echoed throughout the now empty halls as I cautiously moved from room to dark room. Blackrose, (my .44 magnum revolver) floated in front of me so I had a good view of the sights, prepared for anything that may leap out of the darkness. I approached a dark doorway, the faint light inside the room flickered on and off, as if the light and darkness fought for dominance of the room, with my sleeve I brushed rust and dirt off of a small panel next to the doorway to reveal the faded words, "Hospital ward."

Finally! now I may be able to find something useful in the graveyard of an abandoned stable. The last thing I wanted was to walk out of this Celestia forsaken stabled empty hoofed and wasting hours of exploring nothing. I began to wonder why I ever thought it would be a good idea to scavenge an old stable in the first place, maybe raiders or somepony else already cleaned this place out.

I scanned the room, and half of the ceiling was caved in, making the left side of the room inaccessible, I holstered Blackrose and focused light on my horn, giving light when the darkness filled the room, I saw a large cabinet and a desk with a terminal on it on the right side of the room, I walked to the cabinet first and pulled the handle, the rusty metal just clinked and clattered; locked. This wasn't a problem though, the corroded lock almost fell apart as I jammed a bobby pin and screwdriver into the discolored metal, the door creaked open, "Jackpot!" the cabinet was full of plastic pill bottles and labeled jars of clear liquids, I couldn't even pronounce half of the jar labels but I knew it had to be medicine, what I couldn't use I could probably sell to a clinic or doctor for a good price. I loaded my bag with everything on the shelves, stuffing cloth between the jars so they wouldn't crack or break, now for the desk, I circled around to the front, to find a skeleton curled up under it, old blood stains covered the floor where it laid. I looked at the terminal, but the screen was busted in.

I opened up one of the two drawers and I was surprised to find 2 bullets, .38 special, "hmm," if there's bullets here, there has to be a gun nearby...right? I eyed the second drawer the terrible sound of rusted metal screeching filled the room as I pulled its handle, "ha!" there it was, a small rust-stained revolver and a half of a box of ammo, I gave a proud grin as I held the weapon to my face, I opened the cylinder to find it empty, I closed it back and pulled the trigger, click, click, click, "Sweet," it was still in good firing condition to my surprise.

I gently set the weapon and its ammo into my bag, I noticed a sealed steel door behind me, with a rusty lever, i guess I could take a quick look, and then get the hell out of here.It took all my strength, but I managed to pull down the handle, with a loud clunk the door popped open, the door groaned as I swung it open to reveal absolute darkness. I stepped into the room and a cold blast of air hit me in the face like a brick, which sent a shiver down my spine, but then my Geiger counter began to tick, I quickly stepped back, "well, sure as hell ain't goin' in there," I then noticed that the back of the large door was covered in bloody hoof prints, and intentions, as if some poor soul tried to break out with their bare hoofs.

"Time to go," I said to myself, I drew a cigar from a pouch and clenched it in my teeth, I focused magic on the tip, then with a small flame it lit...the faint glow of the flame revealing a feral ghoul's face...right next to mine. I jumped back, and gasped, I gotta admit, it scared the shit outta me, the foul smelling creature hissed at me and stepped my way, I took a puff of my cigar, then floated Blackrose out of my holster, I aimed her barrel at the ghoul's forehead, and with a blinding flash and a thundering blast, the back of the creature's head splattered against the wall, and collapsed to the floor with a thud. I heard more growls and choked gasps  coming from the darkness, I stepped back, and blindly fired into the dark void, the muzzle flash revealed at least a dozen more ferals coming my way, I heard another thud, must have hit another one. The stench quickly filled the air, "shit," I let out loudly as my ears rang, they were getting closer, I eyed the door, but there was no way I cold have gotten it closed without being eaten alive, with a hard push from my right legs, I dashed out of the room as fast as my legs could carry me.

I could hear their wheezing and hoofsteps behind me, as I galloped down the dark rusted halls, halfway knowing where I was even going, I got worried for a second, if I reached a dead end now..I'm fucked, and I'll be damned if I'm going to die in here like this. I knew I was getting close to the exit though, I could feel the cool air from the outside on my face..but even if I made it out the damn ferals would chase me all over the wasteland, I had to get rid of them and fast. A dumb idea came to my mind, one that would save me, or kill me, and Celestia be with me if it didn't save me, as I galloped, I noticed a small room to my right with a window, floated a grenade from my belt, pulled a pin, holding the handle down, I ran into the room, and backed myself into the corner next to the window, the room quickly filled the with ferals  as they slowly approached their intended prey. I let the handle go with a ping, and counted 5..4..3..then they lunged at me screeching, I dropped the grenade where I stood and jumped through the window, shattering it, as soon as I hit the ground, the deafening explosion filled the once silent halls. I laid low, and covered my head, Blood and flesh riddled the surrounding area. I looked up from the pile of glass I laid in, I sighed in relief, then winced in pain, a large shard of glass protruded from my leg, I magically pulled it out with a ton of pain and wrapped it in a cloth from my bag, not a big deal.

As I stepped out of the eerie stable, I looked up into the starlit sky, and crickets chirped in the distance, I let in a deep breath, then I realized that I lost my cigar, "well shit," I guess I will head to town...which is at least a 24 hour trip. I bowed my head in prayer, I prayed for the poor souls who lost their lives in that stable, and I thanked whoever is watching over me for another day in this wild, lawless place we call...the wasteland.

Chapter 1: Rainfall

"Am I a good pony?" I'm not sure if I can answer that question.

The darkness of the clouds that loomed overhead darkened the sky.  The rain poured down, mixing water and blood as I bashed a earth pony's head into the ground. The blood seemed black as it seeped across the ground with the water. I slowly looked over at the other pony trying to crawl away.  He was my target.

"P-please!" He begged as I began to walk his way. The metal fingers of my clawed, robotic limb reaching for my revolver.  A boom of thunder follows the sound of my thumb pulling the hammer back into the cocked position, making my gun ready to do what it does best. "I-I'll give you double what you are getting paid!" He tried to bargain with me to no avail, my mind was set.  I was going to see this job through. I continued to walk towards my prey as he attempted to crawl with the broken leg I happily gave him.

Thunder crashed in the sky as he threw a sack of caps towards me. "Here! Take it! Take it all!" He whined out over the sound of the heavy rain.  The sack fell with a thud, and caps spilled over the wet ground.

"Innocent blood stains your hooves, and soon yours will stain mine." I snarled at him as I dropped my gun.  I focused on it, and the orange aura of my magic held it in mid-air. With my hooves, I snatched him up as tears and rain ran down his face.

"Please..." He begged again in a gasping sob, "Listen to reason… y-you're not a bad pony....right?”  His pleading eyes looked for a response.  “...right?.....gack!" He gagged as the seven and a half inch barrel of my revolver jammed into his mouth. I slowly shook my head as his widened eyes stared at me, his hooves desperately trying to push me away.

"That," I said quietly before I sent a hot chunk of lead out of the back of his head, plastering blood and bits of flesh and skull onto the ground below. “...is where you are wrong.” The shot echoed out along with a clash of thunder. While his dead eyes almost rolled to the back of his head, I pulled his necklace off and tossed his corpse to the side. "Another job well done." I whispered to myself and watched beads of rain drip from the pendent before I tucked it into my pocket. I looked up into the sky and let the cool rain water drizzle the blood on my face away.

“I am a bad pony.”

Fallout Equestria: Among the Ashes

______________________________________________________________________________________________

The haunting sound of the air raid sirens, and the roar of the megaspells echoed through my mind.  A chilling reminder of what lead to the world we now live in, among the ashes of those who ended it. I feel like I can hear the sounds of thousands of screaming ponies running for their lives before their fates were met in a flash of balefire and radiation. My hooves pattered against the wet ground as I walked, staring out at the wasteland as I went my way. The wasteland.  It’s the only thing I have ever known, and most likely the only thing I will ever know. Such a cruel and unforgiving place, where the best way to survive is to be just as cruel and unforgiving.

Bounty hunting, is the best kind of job for somepony like me. Killing and causing harm to others is what I do best, so why not get paid to do so? I don't think my mother or father would be proud of such an occupation, but I suppose we all have our places in the wasteland. Mine is hunting, becoming the apex predator of the desolation of what is now the Equestrian wastelands.

New Appleoosa was Not far from here, and although I won’t admit it, I was excited to see my friend again. A pretty swell zebra gal by the name of Lani. Now, Lani isn't your typical everyday wasteland girl. She is often cheery, and all smiles in an otherwise bad situation.  On top of that, she also loves to blow shit up. When I saved her from a group of raiders a few years ago, she decided to tag along with me through this hellhole of a place we all call our home. To be very honest, I'm glad she did. Her smile and kind nature is what has kept me afloat. The world may have always been unkind to us, but we at the very least have each other.

New Appleoosa, a peaceful place for the most part.  Everywhere has their share of trouble makers, and I'm not one to start trouble.  I just tend to go out and find it. The town may be made of junk, but it wasn't too bad for the most part. As soon as I walked into town, I got a couple of stares from the residents. I think they were eyeing my eyepatch, but with a slight glare they went back to their business.  I suppose I should be glad I didn't have to punch anyone today.

As per usual, I made my way to the nearest bar. I needed to collect my pay, but I needed a drink first. It’s been a long day for me, and Lani will know where to find me. As I walked into the small bar, my eye darted about, studying every inch that came into my view and eyeing every single individual in the place.  A couple of games of poker being played, couple local drunks staggering about, and a few mares trying to sell themselves. It was a shithole, but it was my kind of place!

I lit a smoke and sat at the bar. "Whiskey, straight." I said as I puffed, the smoke filling my lungs and nostrils as I inhaled. The bartender eyed my pointed metal fingers before, nodding and going for the bottle.  Without a word, he’d pour a glass and slid it toward me. I threw some caps on the counter and took the small glass into my claw, the metal clicking against the glass. After another puff I brought the glass to my lips, the bronze liquid cool against my mouth, but had a little burn going down. It always hit the spot.

"Hey big fella." A female voice came from behind me. As I turned, I saw a dark-red mare standing there, eyeing me seductively.  Oh fuck here we go again. I have two weaknesses in my life.  Alcohol, and good looking mares, and damn was she a looker.

"Howdy, miss." I said tipping my hat to her and puffing my smoke again. My only thought was how many customers she had already had today. I turned back towards my drink to take another sip when she sat down next to me.

She leaned in close to me as I took another sip of my drink. "You're the one they call Blindfire, right?" She whispered into my ear, her warm breath brushing against the side of my neck.

"That would be me." I said quietly, slowly turning to face her.  I looked straight into her eyes, "You need something?"

She nodded. "Is it done?" She asked quietly.

I wanted to facehoof. She was the client I picked the job up from, and she looked happy to see my return. She held up a small sack from her pocket that slightly clinked with caps as she did so, keeping it low and out of view of the others.

I nodded and slid over the necklace to her side of the bar. Her eyes seemed to light up happily as she saw it, but I had a feeling something else was going on. That my services had been called upon for something more sinister. She put the caps into my lap, and she turned to get up. Before she hopped up, I spoke.

"He didn't beat you or try to kill you, didn't he?" I asked as I turned towards her and gave another quiet puff over the sound of gossiping and drunken talk.

She looked over her shoulder at me, a surprised look falling across her face.  Then she chuckled and nodded. "How did you know that?"

"The way he begged, and how he spoke. He wouldn't have the nerve to lay a hoof on you.  There was something you didn't want him to find out about." I said to her plainly. Her expression was even more shocked at this point, so I continued. "you wanted his money, and possibly another lover, correct?"

"Wow" she let out with a gasp, "Your reputation precedes you, Blindfire." She turned towards me. "True, I didn't love him anymore, and-" I held up my hoof to stop her as I took the final sip of my drink.

I set the empty glass down on the counter with a thud. "No need to explain, Ma'am. I did my part, and I got paid.  The rest doesn't matter." She nodded and began to head towards the door, but not before gripping the hoof of another mare and walking out without saying another word. I chuckled as I watched, bad thoughts filling my mind about the two mares together. As they left, a hooded figure walked in from the rain. The figure made their way to the bar, walking passed me.

"You know you can't fool me, right?" I asked the figure as they walked by. They stopped and slowly lowered the hood, revealing a beanie cap and mane tied into a braid. Her purple eyes looked over at me.

"Damn. You always get me." Lani said before throwing her hooves around my neck, nearly pulling me down as she did so. I couldn't help but smile a little as the zebra hugged me tightly. I patted her on the back with my hoof.  "Did you have a good hunt?" she asked as she gently broke the hug.

"Like you even have to ask." I said as I turned towards the bartender again. She jumped onto the seat next to mine and got comfortable. "Another drink." I said holding up my glass. He began to fill my drink again as I stuffed the butt of the cigarette out into an ashtray. "What about your hunt?" I asked.

"Oh!" she let out excitedly. "You should have seen the look on his face when he heard the 'click'! He never knew what was coming.  Though, I think I used too much gunpowder..." she said rubbing her chin.

I couldn't help but let out a little chuckle. "Like you care anyway." She nodded in approval, smiling her big usual smile and her big eyes staring at me. I could see my reflection in them. I patted her shoulder with my claw, and without having said a word, she could tell I missed her company. I took a sip of my newly poured drink while Lani eyed it.

"Don't get too drunk now." She said as she watched the whiskey vanish into my muzzle.

"Or what? You're going to send me to my room?" I asked as I looked at her, only to see a serious glare piecing into my soul. "Uhhh, right.  Last one for today." I said, holding up the glass. She slowly smiled in response. Not getting drunk for a day was well worth seeing her smile.

"Hey, doll." A stallion sitting next to her spoke up, to which I casted a glare at him.  He simply ignored me. "In need of some fun, good looking?" He was a tan coated earth pony, tall, but not as tall as I am.

She stared at him awkwardly. "Uhh," She let out. I don't think she was believing what was happening. "No thanks. I'm fine." she said quietly.

"Oh come on baby,” He began to tug at her hoof, “just come relax."

She pulled her hoof away sharply. "Leave me alone. I'm not interested." She raised her voice a little as she said that.

I stood up, "Maybe you should leave my friend alone." I took a step towards him, "Go, shoo fly." I waved my hoof as I pointed in the direction of the door.

"Hey buddy, mind your own,” He spat on me, “ I saw her first." Clenching my jaw, I looked down at my chest, my teeth barred in anger, my temper slowly coming undone. "So as I was saying..." He turned back to Lani trying to pull her to him, and she leaned away from him.

He never saw it coming, when the bottle smashed over his head. The deep cut it made him howl in pain before my metal fist came into contact with his jaw. I could feel  bone break beneath the metal, and he fell out of the chair to the ground.

"Blindfire!" Lani let out as I got down on top of him. I raised my cyberhoof to cave his head, but stopped when I heard a crisp and familiar click. I looked up, only to be staring down both barrels of the bartender’s shotgun.

"I'll do it mister!" The bartender let out. He was an older gentlecolt, with a white mustache and a very stern look. I dropped the bastard I’d about to have made my next victim.  Slowly, I walked up to the bar.  Quickly, I grabbed the gun with my magic and pressed it against my forehead.

"Go ahead and pull the trigger." I snarled at him. I could see beads of sweat forming on his forehead as the gun began to shake.  Typical wastelander. More fear filled his face as I spoke, "Kind of hard to do with no shells, huh?" I smirked at him.

I could feel every eye in the bar on me, I threw the barrel to the side, before putting 2 shotgun shells on the counter. "Here, for the trouble." I said before looking at Lani. "C’mon.  Let us find another place to drink."  Heading towards the door, the place was in dead silence.  As we made our way out, I could hear her hoofsteps approach quickly behind me.

"What the hell BF?" She jabbed a hoof into my chest as we stepped outside. "I could have handled myself!" The cold rain streaming down her face as she raised her voice at me.

I rolled my eye. "you were letting that guy feel all over you.  Yeah, you were handling it so well on your own." I said sarcastically, looking down at her. "I wasn't going to let that guy get away with that and you know it."

She sighed. "Just… let me handle it next time, alright?" She gave me a disappointed look. "I'm more than capable."

I rubbed my forehead with my hoof. "Ok alright, I'm sorry." I said before I looked out at the town "I was trying to-"

"Protect me?" she asks as she cut me off.  I simply nodded.

"I cannot let anything happen to you.” I said quietly as I put my claw on her shoulder. “Not again."

She looked at my metal limb and then back to me. "I know BF, but I'm a big girl." She said gently. I opened my mouth to speak, but she held up a hoof to my lips. "Shush! You may be 4 years older, but I'm still old enough to handle myself."

All I could do was nod. "You're right. I'm sorry." I said sincerely.  As I should have expected, she said it at the same exact time as I did.

"You say that every. damn. time." She said, walking by me. "Lets find a place to crash.  After all, we both just got paid."

"Yeah, that is true." I said as I walked by her side. I wanted another smoke, but the rain made it hard to do so. It had been pouring all day, and I had a feeling it wasn't going to end soon. I tipped my hat to block some of the water that ceaselessly assaulted the ground, and Lani pulled her hood over her head as she lead me to the hotel.

As we walked in the first thing I did was look around. Not the fanciest place, but I have slept in far worse conditions. It would suffice for one night before we moved on to… well where ever we are going.  The direction to go was always where ever our next contracts took us.

"2 rooms?" Lani looked up at me before we approached the front counter.  At said counter, an earth pony mare was flipping through an old magazine.  She didn’t even seem to acknowledge we were here.

I shook my head. "Probably overpriced as it is.  We’d be better off getting one room and sharing it." I said as I took my hat off shaking the water from it onto the floor. The drops tapped against the nearly two century old wood.

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking over at me as continued to shake the large cowboy hat free of any water. I nodded before running my hoof over the large feather I’d pinned to it. The light ruffles gently brushed against my hoof, and it strangely reminded me of a better time in my life.  Even out here in the chaotic wasteland, I’d once been happy.

"Welcome, what can I do for you?" the mare up front finally asked. Lani held up her hoof to ask for one room, and the mare held up a rusty key while she eyed the both of us. "One night is 50 caps."

I raised an eyebrow. "You want my food and water too?" I asked as I stopped Lani from getting her own caps.  Instead, I set my own on top of the counter.

"Excuse me?" she asked glaring at me.

"Well if you're going to rob us, might as well take everything." I said as she scooped up the caps and slammed the key on the counter, pushing it towards us.

"BF!" Lani took the key with an annoyed grunt. "You'll have to forgive him. The fella is off his meds, makes him a bit of an ass." she tugged at me and I shrugged at the mare before I let Lani pull me away. "You always have something to say, and I'm not saying that in the good way." she said as she pulled on my scarf.

"I'm just not afraid to speak my mind is all." I said as she looked for our room "What's wrong with that?"

She began to unlock the door, fumbling with the key in her hoof. "It seems to find trouble for us, and we have enough problems as it is. Your slick tongue tends to find us more trouble than we need." She opened the door and looked around, twisting her muzzle in discontent at the sight of the room. "Ehhh, this sucks."

I trotted over to the old couch, taking my bags off before I laid down on it and stretched my sore legs. "Ah! Hits the spot though." I said as I used my magic to slip my hat off. My metal claws retracted into my artificial limb as I watched Lani began to unpack her things as well. I levitated the key to me when she set it on the bed, floating it over to the lock. With a click, the door sealed.

"Planning on keeping me in here, eh?" She asked as she sat on the creaky bed, bouncing a little bit against the old springs.

"Somepony has to keep you in line." I chuckled, and she just rolled her eyes and went back to going through her things. She looked over her handy grenade launcher and the assortment of homemade explosives she carried from what I could see. She was sure knowledgeable when it came to things that go boom. Watching her turn an old tin can into a shrapnel bomb oddly enough, turns me on. In all honesty, it wasn't just the explosives that I was eyeing either.

Many would call me crazy, but I cannot bring myself to go that far with her. As much as I care for her, I'm not even sure if I can bring myself to even ask for such a thing, even if it didn't go anywhere. Her company was enough to keep me going, and I knew she loved being around me despite my own nature.

"So" she said, looking at me while slipping off her jacket.  She crossed her hind legs over the other as she relaxed on the bed. "Tomorrow we do what we usually do?"

I nodded, looking away from her and up at the strange pattern on the ceiling. "Find another job, move on like always. Its what we do best, right?"

She nodded with a slight smile, laying down. "That is where you are right." She says, pulling up an old blanket to her neck. "I'm exhausted. You try to catch some sleep ok?" She sighed as I heard her nesting herself in the bed.

"I'll try my best to do so." I looked over at the mass under the covers rise and fall as she breathed. "Lani?" I waited, but there was no response. I couldn't help but smile a little, which was kind of rare for me. Slowly and quietly, I stripped off the metal plate on my chest, along with the rest of my clothes. I needed to relax and just be calm for one night. Sitting there, to the average onlooker, my body may have seemed calm, but my mind was at war.

I slowly stood up and walked over to the dirty bathroom. After relieving myself, I began to make my way back to my torn couch, but stopped as I saw my reflection in the old mirror. I slowly inched closer, observing the many scars on my face. They may not have formed words, but they told a story full of despair and loss. Slowly, I magically pulled off my eyepatch, staring into the dark void where an eye once lay. They say that the eyes are a gateway to the soul, and I had a black hole leading to an empty void full of pent up anger and hatred.

I curled my lip. I hated who I saw in the mirror. I didn't see a tall unicorn who was adept at living in the wasteland. Instead, I saw a monster. One who would kill, maim or destroy anyone or anything without remorse. After all, when I was an outlaw in the gang, I was even worse.

I honestly can say, I couldn't help myself. All I remember was my metal fist crashing into the pony that stared back at me, turning him into a maze of cracks. As it shattered, shards of glass rained down into the rusted drain in the sink below.

"Damnit" I whispered to myself as I slowly pulled my hoof back. "I miss you." I whispered as somepony from my past came into mind. It hurt, and I tried to shove it back out as quickly as possible. Whiskey, killing, prostitutes. I was willing to do anything, anything at all.  Just please, don't let the memory come back in. I needed to let it fade away.

I practically begged myself every time. Like too many out in the wastes with a bad past, I just wanted to forget. Even when I put the barrel of my Colt .45 to my temple, just wanting for the screaming to stop, I could never pull the trigger.  Death is the cure for everything, but I wasn't strong enough to cure myself of my burden. I'm not sure that in itself made me weak or strong, but now Lani is with me, and I have a reason to be strong for now.

With a groan, she shifted in her sleep. I looked over at her and slowly began to make my way to the creaking bed. She continued to groan and mumble under the covers, having a bad dream it seemed.

"Lani, I'm sorry." I whispered quietly before slowly pulling the covers away from her. "I don't know what-"  I froze still and stared. A chill ran down my spine as I saw my most recent victim in the bed.  His still running blood soaking into the sheets, dead eyes staring at me as I took a step back "what the fuck?!" My body felt cold, and my legs began to tremble. A feeling of weakness overcame me that I couldn’t fight.

"You're not a bad pony! right?!" he yelled as his body shot up from the bed and straight at me.

Gasping, I jolted awake and jumped up onto my hooves. "Shit!" I felt beads of sweat climb down my face, and I felt short of breath.  With my heart pounding agaisnt my chest, I rubbed my face free of the salty moisture before going to my bag for one of the last bottles of water I had. Quickly, I’d downed what little was left in the bottle. I had to catch my breath, and I felt weak for a minute or two.

I stood up and I sighed in relief to see Lani still fast asleep. She sure is one hell of a heavy sleeper. Not thinking I’d sleep again for a bit, I needed to get up and move around. I made my way to the window, peeking out at the rain as it continued to fall and dominate the night. It was still pretty late, but I couldn't tell the time exactly. With a sigh, I decided that I should make my way down stairs, just until I feel like I can sleep again...if I could sleep again.

Funny, how going ‘downstairs’ ended up with me at the bar with nothing more than my eyepatch over my eye. Drink after drink went down, and before long, the booze started to get to me. The world around me slowly began to turn into a blur, and when the bartender refused me anymore drinks, his foggy face was soon replaced with a face of a mare straddling my lap.

She was wildly nipping at my neck and ears, and I breathed in her scent as she pushed my head into her chest. My claw gently scratched her back as she bounced up and down on me...in... who's bed? I have no memory, nor did I care. This was about me forgetting, letting go of something I couldn’t recall at this exact moment.  This was something I’d done often, and I did not know any other way.  If this is the only way I could feel like this anymore, then so be it.

My eye was closed the whole time. I couldn't look at her, all I felt was drunken pleasure surging through my body. She moaned in delight, but I grunted in pain. She crashed her lips against mine as she bounced faster, and I wildly kissed back, letting my mind go blank,. Finally after an hour of wild, drunken sex, I simply let go.

I practically melted into her embrace and she melted into mine. I gave her my all, pouring myself into the carnal act.  The rest of the time we had together, "More" was the only slurred word that found my lips the whole time.  At least one more night in the endless stream of them, I could say I’d forgotten again...for now.

I woke up rubbing my head as a hangover pounded against my skull.

"Fuck." I mumbled and blinked rapidly, trying to get my vision to focus on where I was. I had no memory how I got here, but I saw a mare with a dark-red coat laying next to me in bed. Her mane was messy, and she was sleeping with her mouth open.  She breathed loudly, and a bit of a shock came to me when I realized it was my ‘client’ from the previous day. "Ok, time to go." I said to myself as I picked myself up and made my way to the door without a single sound. Honestly, I can say that getting away without waking a mare has never happened before.

I stepped out into the hall only to rub my face in annoyance when I found myself staring down the hallway of Lani and I’s hotel. I groaned when I saw that my room was even the next  door down. It was enough that I almost didn't want to even go in, but I walked over and slowly opened the door.  Sneaking my way in, I found that Lani was still under the covers.  I was safe, I was good.

"Blindfire!" I heard her voice loudly snap at me as I stood half-way inside. Fuck. "Did you have fun last night?" she was sitting on the bed looking at me with a look of disappointment, "Well I hope you did, because that shit next door kept me up all night! You know how cranky I get when I don't get a lot of sleep." she scorned me.

Oh so NOW she decided to be a light sleeper.

I sighed. "Lani look, I needed to let go, ok?" I said quietly with a slightly raspy voice from my dry throat. Carefully, I took a step in and closed the door behind me.

"Blindfire, you know I worry about you." She spoke quietly. "You do this every other night, and its not because of the booze or the mares.  Its about you being in pain, and that scares me.” She stared at me with her big, sincere eyes.  “Like when I found you-"

I cut her off "I really don't think you want me to think about that." I said as I walked to my things and started to get dressed.  “It’s why I do what I do.”

"The past is in the past, and it should stay that way. You are a walking diary of all the horror you have seen out there, and it kills you from within." She whispered softly as I strapped on my metal plates and guns. "It’s something you need to let go, and I'm not talking about forgetting it for a night with a whore.  You need to let go of it permanently." the words she used were gentle, but her meaning was a whole other story.

"The same way you lay awake at night?" I asked as I looked at her. "The same way you cry when you think about how things would have been different if I had not of shown up when I did all those years ago?" I said in a harsh tone, "The way it felt when-"

"Stop!" she yelled and sprang up. "don't you ever say it like that again." she snapped at me.

"Then don't sit there and tell me," I pointed a sharp metal finger at her, "that I just need to forget.  Don't you think I have tried that? Don’t you think I want to move on?" I saw a tear fall down her face as she slammed her eyes shut. Damnit Blindfire, shut your muzzle. More guilt is not what you needed.

"Lani, I'm sorry. Don't-" I couldn't finish the sentence before she let out a gasp in a quiet sob. It felt like the weight of the world began to press down on me. I had never made her cry like this before. I always told myself I wouldn't bring it up again, and yet, I let my anger speak for me and look what happened.

"Maybe, maybe I should go before I do something else stupid." I said before turning towards the door.  The tumblers of the door knob sounded like they were screaming at me as I slowly turned it. Before I could even walk out, I felt a hoof tightly grip mine. Gently, it tugged at me, and my eye shot down to it. I sighed, as I turned towards her, "Lani...I’m-"

She had cut me off again. "Shhh" She let out as she pulled me into a hug. I sat somewhere between confused and comforted. "Don't speak, just… just hold me." She whispered.  Without another word, I did as she asked. She was a way better individual than I would ever be. I have killed others for saying less, and if I was her, I would have gotten as far away from me along time ago. Yet, here I am, holding her in my embrace with a roaring headache rampaging in my head.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." She whispers as she buried her head in my chest "That wasn't fair of me to do that."

I patted her back, "I'm sorry too, but why forgive me so fast?" I asked as I could feel her breath against me.  “Lani, tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

"Because, I was not upset at you." She said, looking up at me. "I shouldn't have said what I said when I know it is something you cannot help" When she said that I felt even more helpless than before. "I know she meant a lot to you."

"I know, I just… I don't want to talk about it." I said quickly, not wanting the memory to come back again. Thankfully, she simply nodded. "Lets get out of here." I said softly, which made her smile just a little.

"At least smile for me?" She asked as she looked, gently breaking the hug. I rolled my eye in response. "Please?" She turned her head to the side and gave me a look with her eyes, half-way batting her eyelashes at me.

I couldn't help it, but there was something about her I couldn't get over. At her request. I smiled slightly for a few seconds.  Contented, she patted my cheek and trotted out of the room. I chuckled when she walked by, and looked around to make sure we weren’t forgetting anything before we left. That was when I noticed the mirror in the bathroom was broken. An indent from my clawed fist marked the same place as I remembered in my dream. I quickly left the room as a feeling of uneasiness came over me. A feeling of eyes watching me.

As we walked out of the hotel, Lani looked over at me. "At least it stopped raining." she said as she looked up at the dark skies. As they loomed overhead, I instead eyed the damp ground.

"Good.  I can finally smoke." I said as I pulled out and lit up a cigarette. Taking in a deep breath of the nicotine and tobacco, I felt a bit of stress melt away. "So, where do we start?" I asked I exhaled smoke in a long plume from my nostrils.

"I know just the place, come on." She said, waving me in a direction.  With another puff, I followed.

"Where is it we are going?" I asked as we made our way past a few of the regged residents of this dump they call a town.

"Oh we will find work in there, just trust me." She said as she looked over her shoulder at me. She’d lead me to an old abandoned building that sat in the same half rotted condition as everything else in the wastes. Around the back, there was a cellar door. She knocked on it before whispering something into a little slot that opened up in the middle of it. I leaned in to listen, but it was already said before I could hear.  With a heavy creaking, the door opened and revealed a set of stairs going down.

"You are just full of surprises." I said as I looked back at her, receiving a happy grin from her in return. With a deep breath of smoke, I flicked the cigarette butt away onto the dirt and I stepped down.  Descending into the darkness, I could hear Lani's steps behind me as she followed. "I can't see." I said as I walked further and further inside.  They seriously needed to put up at least a candle or something in here.

All I heard was a loud click, and the lights flashed on. When my eye adjusted, we were surrounded by a group of ponies, and a griffin, armed with an assortment of melee weapons staring at us.

"Uhh...Lani?" I asked as I took a step back by her side. The door behind us slammed shut.

"Y-yeah?" She let out in a nervous tone that didn’t give me any comfort.

I gripped my revolver in my claw, planning out just how to get out of this mess.  "Next time, we are going to the bar to find a job."