Chapters Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 3 "Touchdown Falldown"
Equestria Noir 2
Manehatten has thirty five stadiums, half a million restaurants, just as many dance hall, a park so big they dedicate an entire part of the city to it…
And where does my lovely wife decide we should go when we got a chance to visit?
The Equestrian Museum of Natural History. Mind you, it had been interesting. All those ancient creatures, and fossils on display. Never mind the dioramas of the ancient civilizations of the Tribes in the Pre-Equestrian era. The cultures, back then, were far more diverse than one would believe from the Hearth’s Warming play. We then wandered to the new Crystal Empire wing. They really went all out, here, making it look really authentic. A lot of crystals were used in the architecture. They had to have used the artizens of the Empire to construct it so perfectly. Never mind the history of the Empire itself shown in displays, and items. The flugel horns were even on display, with a sign telling ponies not to touch them. Good thing Pinkie Pie wasn’t here. She loved those things. Finally there was a display on the defeat of Sombra, and everypony’s part in it. The amethyst and green quartz statue of Spike was a nice touch.
“Oh my gosh, that was so amazing!” Twilight squealed as we exited. “I got so many notes! I could write a whole history textbook from what I learned.”
I smiled as we both sat on the steps of the museum, eating our lunch of veggie patties and hay fries. “You know, you really should consider writing a book yourself.”
Twilight blushed and said, “Nah, I mean, what would I write about?”
“Maybe a sweeping drama about serving alongside a detective?” I grinned.
Twilight laughed. “Maybe, if I ever get around to writing my memoirs.”
I put all the garbage from our lunch and picked it up in my magic. “I’ll toss this away.”
I walked over to a nearby garbage drop off, stuffing the food bag inside a garbage bag while nopony was looking. Then, I looked at a newspaper box. I saw the headline…
Two Ponies Mysteriously Murdered
I put a bit in the slot and pulled out the paper and opened it.
The police are concerned about the recent murders of two ponies in as many weeks. The first was Lord Tabletop, who tried to assassinate Lord Blueblood. The stallion was killed while serving his time for attempted murder. Police stated that the body was found inside the visiting area of the prison. No footage of the crime was captured, because the cameras were malfunctioning at the time due to a strange power outage.
The second murder comes as a startling new development in the story of the foal trafficking ring discovered, last week. While unwilling accomplice Tappy Hoof is serving her time in prison after being convicted of involuntary pony slaughter, the wife of known trafficker Prickly Hoof had been missing until she was found, yesterday, in Central Park. She had been stabbed several times and scalped.
When asked to comment about the situation, new chief of police Gunry Insight had this to say:
“We are doing everything in our power to find the monsters that did this. There is a system in place for a reason. I will not have some damn lunatic run around thinking he can just kill whoever he pleases.”
The Chief also advises citizens of Equestria to remain cautious until the killer is found, and refuses to comment as of yet over suspects and potential leads.
Ivy and Tabletop were both murdered? But, why? They were serving their time. They both got guilty sentences in court, did somepony really have such a grudge against them both?
“Private?” Twilight called, walking over to me. I gave her the paper and she her eyes scanned it. She put a hoof to her mouth, starting to look sick. “That’s, horrible. Who would scalp a pony?”
“Somepony who really didn’t like Ivy,” I pointed out. “Or Tabletop for that matter.”
“How can they be related?” Twilight asked. putting a hoof to her chin.
“No idea,” I sighed. “Maybe we should head back home and check out if there’s any connection.”
I left the paper for some homeless pony to pick up and use as a blanket later. Twilight and I walked down the street and we found ourselves at Minutes Square. It was an amazing display of magical technology. The glowing signs, advertising various plays occurring on Broadway, and the multitude of products available in the various shops around the city. There was even a giant screen showing a hoofball game. I pondered taking Twilight to a show, and wondered which one she’d like to see. A colorful flier stapled to a nearby utility pole attracted my attention. The Tyrant Celestia Variety Show? What the hay is that? Before I could ponder it any further, I had to turn my attention to my beloved.
Twilight looked around the place, and almost got ran over as she tried to cross the street. “How is it you manage to get through this place without bumping into everypony?”
I smirked a little, and trotted into the middle to show her. “Walk tall, act like you own the place, and ignore all forms of traffic laws.”
Twilight and I looked up at the screen showcasing the latest Hoofball game. I was never much interested in sports, I never had the talent nor the athletic ability to be any good. Mom’s side of the family are avid sports fans however. Come to think of it.. .I haven’t talked to them in a while…
“This just in!”
I turned around and saw a television store showcasing a broadcast. The newspony was speaking, “Marty Ball, Star Hoofball player for our own Manehatten Mustangs, has been found murdered in his locker room! Police are there right now and are currently investigating. Some officers are speculating it has something to do with the recent game against the Canterlot Royals.”
Twilight and I looked at each other, “Looks like we got a case.”
“Lead the way,” Twilight said, “You’re the Manehattener after all.”
With that, we both ran towards the Mustang Stadium.
_______________________________________________________________
It wasn’t difficult to find out where the crime scene was. Police carriages blocked the entrance to the stadium as Twilight and I came up to it. Hundreds of officers were pouring over the place. The stadium itself was large, bigger than most of the buildings in Manehatten. Goes to show you just how crazy ponies can get about a ball game.
Twilight and I had to push and shove our way through a crowd of onlookers. Many of them were shouting curses towards Marty Ball. I tapped one stallion on the shoulder, “You have any idea what happened?”
The stallion angrily spoke, “What happened? Marty choked! Literally! I lost a hundred bits because of his little stunt!”
“Stunt?” I asked.
“Damn idiot walked into the other team’s side of the field like he was strolling through the park. He fumbled three times and barely even tried to tackle a player! His play was lousy and it’s his fault I can’t pay rent!” He shouted.
Because clearly it was perfectly logical to gamble your hard earned money away on a game. I’ll never understand ponies who do this.
Twilight got a hold of me and used her teleportation spell to get us on the other side of the police barrier. I shook my head to get the whoozieness out of it. Twilight and I got to our hooves as we saw a familiar yellow pony come over. It was the same pony who was at Ponyville during Tappy’s case. “Yang, was it?” I asked.
“That’s right,” she said with a nod. “Once again I find both of you running over where there’s a murder.” She looked at Twilight. “Don’t you have some princessing to do or something?”
“I’m on vacation,” Twilight said with an innocent smile.
Yang raised an eyebrow, “Odd way to spend a vacation.”
“Look, could you point us to where the body is?” I asked.
“I dunno,” Yang shook her head, “I might get in trouble.”
“Yang we’re here to help,” Twilight said earnestly.
Slowly the uniform nodded, “My mama always taught me to trust ponies when they do right. You’ve both helped a lot with that Tappy girl’s case. I reckon you both can help out with this.”
“Great, lead us to the body,” I said.
As Yang turned to lead us I couldn’t help but hear her mutter, “Royals…”
_________________________________________________________________
The smell of stale sweat, and unwashed laundry hit us in the face as we entered. This smelled very familiar. Like my high school gym locker room, but much more pungent. Lockers in the team’s colors lined the walls, and there were benches to help the stallions, here, put on their hoof ball shoes. They only wore them on their hind legs, leaving their forelegs free to manipulate the ball. Chalkboard was on the far wall, marked with the exes and ohs of plays being planned out.
Forensics ponies were pouring over the area. I saw Forceps once again over a body as it was leaning against a locker. The stallion was large and muscular, with a bright orange coat and a long brown mane. His cutie mark obviously showcased a hoofball. He was clad in a jersey and what had to be his helmet was laying down beside him. I noticed a large bullet hole in his chest, blood seeping out of it.
Forceps smiled up at us, “Glad to see ya both, I was afraid it was just going to be me and the stiff this time. Not much of a talker but they always listen real good.”
I rolled my eyes at his attempt at humor. I walked over to the stallion. “What have we got?”
Forceps talked as I examined the body. “This fella is Marty Ball, star of the Manehatten Mustangs for over twelve years. Damn shame his career ended on such a sour note though.”
“What can you tell me about a cause of death?” I asked.
He pointed to the bullet hole, “I’d say .44 magnum judging by the size. Blasted the fella in the stomach as he was sitting down on that bench.” He pointed to one of the benches about a foot or two away from the locker. “Fell over onto the ground and bled out.”
“Did you find the bullet?” I asked.
“Haven’t dug it out yet,” Forceps smiled. “Wanna watch?”
“I just ate thank you,” I said, looking at the bullet wound. I’d say it was a .44, had to have been a powerful gun to send him flying back into the locker. Maybe a revolver or something of that kind?
“Any luck finding the weapon?” I asked.
“No brass casing, just the bullet we have to dig out.” Forceps said, “As for the weapon itself we’re turning the place upside down and haven’t found it yet.”
That can mean two things, either the killer dropped the gun in an obscure place, or he still has it. The latter honestly will make finding the criminal a little easier in the long run. As being caught with the weapon doesn’t exactly put you in the best position.
“Keep an eye out for it,” I said. “Where’s Ball’s locker?”
Forceps pointed to an open locker and I saw three objects laid on a mat with little numbers next to them. Had to be evidence.
The first object was a large knife, one of those kinds that flick open. I looked it over, carrying it in my covered hooves. I opened the knife, no blood was on it. “Expecting trouble Ball?” I set the knife down.
The second object was a wallet. I picked it up, and opened it. Aside from a lot of credit cards there was only a few bits in his wallet. No I.D. either. “Well, he wasn’t robbed that’s for sure. Though I doubt anypony would want to break into a locker room just to steal a few bits and credit cards off a sports star.”
The last object was a simple envelope. I looked at the address on it.
Hazy Spot
“Anypony know a Hazy Spot?” I asked, Twilight looking at the envelope over my shoulder.
Twilight shrugged, “Hoofington is more remote than Ponyville, I wouldn’t know anypony from there.”
I opened the envelop. “It’s empty, and it looks like somepony ripped it open.”
“So we can get our criminal on murder and looking through somepony’s mail?” Twilight said with a raised eyebrow.
I looked over at Forceps, “Any luck with cameras?”
“Not yet,” Forceps shook his head, “Still having the techies sort through it all.”
Forceps went back to examine the body. Twilight and I looked to each other, “You think somepony got mad at him for throwing the game like that?” Twilight guessed.
“It’s possible,” I said, putting a hoof to my chin. “I know I would be mad if somepony lost me a lot of money. Could be that he got into some kind of deal and was forced to lose.”
“Than he ends up dead here,” Twilight said. “But, this just seems too simple. Something else is going on, remember the knife and the note?”
“He was expecting trouble,” I concluded. “Sadly that knife didn’t help him much in the end.”
“Just what kind of trouble could he have gotten into?” Twilight asked.
“The kind that gets you killed…” I said, looking at the corpse.
“What the hell is going on here?!”
Twilight and I turned at the sound of a very loud and rough voice. The unicorn stallion standing before me was about as old as my dad. He had a deep tannish coat with mane that tried to hold onto it’s brown shading before going completely grey. His eyes were a steely blue and showed an uncompromising look. He was wearing a police officer's uniform, judging by the decorations… I’d say he was of pretty high rank…
Forceps stood up next to me, “Chief, came to see the stiff too?”
“Can it you bag of bones,” the stallion said, very rudely I might add. “I want to know what a princess and a private detective are doing at my crime scene?”
“Oh,” Forceps pointed to us, and began to say, “This is Twilig-”
“I know who she is,” The stallion interjected, “I also know who you are.” He gave a steel hard glare at me.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked with a stormy expression on his face..
“Solving a case, what does it look like?” I replied.
“Listen here, I don’t want any smart ass comments out of you,” he said, walking up to me and glaring at me right in the eyes. “So, from now on you just answer the question, in military style, with a simple sir at the end.”
I glared back at him, not backing down. “I’ll agree to answer the question, but ponies have to earn the right to be called sir by me.”
I know it wasn’t what he wanted. But I hated hard asses, and I wanted to make that abundantly clear to him.
“You’re the two-bit gumshoe who goes snooping into official police business…” he said, glaring at me. “Worse than a wet-behind-the-ears rookie, and about useless as a chocolate gun. We don’t need your kind here, gumshoe.”
“If by snooping, you mean solve the cases your detectives can’t, then yes,” I said, there was just something I didn’t like about this guy.
“You have no authorization to be here, and the officer that brought you back here will be disciplined,” he said.
“Well, Badge was more than happy to let me do my own thing. So long as the case was solved,” I answered.
“I’m not Shinebadge. Shinebadge was a spineless coward who let ponies like you walk all over him. He didn’t have the guts to tell you to fornicate off, nor could he see corruption in the ranks,” he said firmly, and stood tall. “The name is Police Chief Gunry Insight, I don’t know what deal you had with him, but I do not tolerate private detectives pretending like they’re real cops. Especially one that threw away his career in the police force to become the lowest kind of scum in Equestria: An undisciplined, snotty-nosed, good-for-nothing private detective.”
“Excuse me.” Twilight got between us. “Private may not be officially authorized, but as a Princess of Equestria I can make it so.”
“You may not want to,” Insight looked at me, “After all, would you really lend credence to a murder suspect?”
“A what now?” I asked, tilting my head.
“See, I found it odd that both Tabletop and Ivy were found dead within weeks of each other,” Insight said smirking. “Both of those cases, were under your watch. And you are well known for thinking that the justice system in Equestria is not hard enough on the higher class criminals. Known for thinking that it’s not fair that they can try and buy their way out of jail.”
“Just what are you saying?” I growled, my voice dangerously low.
“That you, Private Eye...” Insight smirked wider, “are under suspicion of murdering both of them. Your prejudices give you the best motive. And the irony is that you would be using the very same methods that your victims were going to use to get out of trouble. I hope you like stripes...”
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 3 "Touchdown Falldown"
Chapter 2
I fell into a rage when I heard this. “You can’t be serious!” I growled, glowering at him.
“I am,” Insight said. “You have the most motive, and being a detective you would know the layout of prison. Motive and method.”
“But not oppurtunity!” Twilight said, standing beside me firmly. “Private has an alibi! The night of both murders he was with me on a date!”
“Your highness,” Insight said, as if Twilight was a five year old. “I kindly ask you to let the police handle this.”
“I won’t be ignored while you accuse my husband of murder!” Twilight shouted.
Insight ignored her and looked over to me. “Get out of my crime scene right now before I have you both arrested for disrupting the police.”
Who in the hell does this bastard think he-
I felt a hoof on my shoulder, I looked over at Twilight who slowly nodded. We both walked away, out of the crime scene and up the stairs to the hall. Once out of sight of everypony except my wife, I bucked a nearby trash can in frustration. “That no good dirty rotten son of a-
I’m uh..not exactly proud of the next part…
“He talked to us like were kids!” Twilight said, groaning. “He also completely ignored the fact that he just told off a princess.”
I sighed after finishing my rant. Now wasn’t the time to get all in a hissy fit. Now was the time to just work with the case without a crime scene to work with. “Now what do we do?” I said.
Twilight put a hoof to her chin, “Well, we should at least tell his family what happened. Only problem is, neither of us really keep track of sports.”
“I do know somepony who keeps track of everything in Manehatten though,” I said, smiling a little. “An information broker that not even Insight can get at.”
_____________________________________________________________
Outside ponies walked down the street and headed about their business. Twilight and I were at a phone booth, I was inside dialing the number while Twilight leaned against the booth. She was mindlessly watching a tv in the store while I put my ear to the receiver.
After a couple of rings I got this “AWWW YEEAH! This is the home of the one and only DJ PON-3 and her trusty sidekick Oooctavia! Who’s talking?”
I smiled and said, “Vinyl, it’s me, Private.”
“Oh hey Private,” she said, “Haven’t heard from you in awhile, how’s the nookie going with Twilight?”
I blushed brightly at that and just said, “I need to talk to your marefriend please…”
“All right, just saying I’d love to give you guys some tips,” Vinyl said nonchalantly as I facehoofed.
I heard some noises in the background. More like arguing and some few words we can’t say here. But, ultimately Octavia’s voice came on. “Ahh Private, please excuse Vinyl, she can be about as subtle as a train wreck.”
“Ya think!?” I replied.
“Anywhoo, what is it you need?” She asked in her typical upper class tone.
“You check the news?” I asked.
“About Marty Ball being murdered? Ahh yes, I got an entire rant from Vinyl about it. Apparently she tried to gamble. The money was going to be saved for a nice dinner over at Fortuna’s, but somepony had to go and bet it all! ” Octavia said, obviously putting emphasis so that Vinyl could hear. I just heard Vinyl laugh on the other end.
“Listen, I’m investigating his murder,” I said.
“That’s not a surprise, you want to know about him?” She asked in turn.
“Please and thank you,” I said with a smile.
“Alright, let me see if I can remember. Ah yes, Marty was born in Hoofington. Moved here after some scouts discovered he had a talent for Hoofball. Played on some minor leagues for a while before being bumped up to the majors. Married to a lovely mare five years younger than him named Limelight a few years ago. No children as far as I know.”
“Can you get me an adress for his home? Maybe his wife knows something?” I asked, pulling out my notebook. I wrote down the address she gave me and said, “What about his coach? Any rival team mates?”
“He had a pretty nasty feud going on with his fellow player known as Quickstrike. Apparently there’s been a lot of bad blood between them.” She answered.
I heard a tap on the phone booth and stuck my head out the door. Twilight pointed at the television in the store. The news pony was speaking as a video feed showcasing some cops bringing in a large sunset colored stallion with a brown mohawk on his head. He was struggling as the police were bringing him in.
“Police have found a suspect in the recent murder of Marty Ball. Quickstrike has said several times in interviews he’d like nothing more than to see Marty kicked off the team. Police Chief Gunry Insight has cited several written threats as evidence to bring Quickstrike in for questioning.”
“Damn,” I said, shaking my head. “We’ll never be able to get at him now. Insight will come up with some sort of excuse.”
Twilight shook her own head, “Why arrest somepony now? It’s only been a few hours.”
“I’m guessing he wants it to look like the police are doing something,” I said with a sigh, “Seems it’s all about PR these days with the police.”
Twilight sighed, “What do we do now?”
“I guess,” I said as looked at the address on my notebook. “We make a house call.”
____________________________________________________________________
It was one of the bigger houses I’d ever seen. A bit smaller than the Rich place, back in Ponyville, but apparently Marty Ball wasn’t interested in tasteful decorating. Mind you, it wasn’t as bad Pave Diamond’s place, but the hoofball shaped topiaries didn’t help the decore. The house was painted in Marty’s team colors, and there were brass, of a light color to mimic gold, fittings everywhere. The fountain, in the yard, had a bronze statue shaped like the Hoofsman Trophy, and even the path had the hoofball theme.
Twilight and I walked up to the gate and tapped the button on the intercom. “Yes?” A polite voice spoke on the other end. It sounded like it was a mare.
“We’re here to speak to Miss Limelight please.” I said.
“I don’t believe she was seeing any appointments today.” The voice replied.
“Please? It’s really important,” I said, “We may be able to help with her husband’s murder.”
The other side was quiet for a minute, the gate then opened and we made our way up the path to the front doors. The door opened to reveal a young looking mare dressed in a maid’s outfit. “Lady Limelight will see you now.”
The interior was in considerably better taste than the exterior. The carpet was a rich red, and the wainscoting was a dark wood that accented the dark green walls. The furniture was, mostly, masculine with large lines and comfortable cushions. A few pieces showed a mare’s touch, softening the edges, and making the house welcoming. The study we were lead to held bookshelves. The shelves holding more trophies than books much to Twilights obvious disappointment.
Limelight herself was at least four years older than I was, although she tried everything in her power to hide it. Her mane was a rich golden blond that tumbled down in manufactured curls. Her eyes were a rather pretty blue and her coat was a soft gold color. Her face was caked in makeup and had slight marks that spelled botox and plastic surgery. She was clad in a very form fitting dress and diamond necklaces that could blind you with the right angle of light.
In other words, your typical celebrity wife.
She smiled as we both took a seat on a couch facing her. “I’ve heard about both of you from the news. Private Eye and Princess Twilight Sparkle I believe?”
Twilight nodded and said politely, “Yes, we are looking into the murder of your husband.”
Limelight looked down for a minute, “Oh Marty, I was worried about him. But I had no idea he would throw such a big game. Then to die after it? There’s only so much a girl can take.”
She sounded so much in grief over her loss. “When was the last time you saw him?” I asked.
She put a hoof to her chin, “I’d say noon time, we went out for lunch Uptown before I left to get my tail done. The last time I saw him was when he boarded the bus to head to his game.”
“You weren’t going to attend?” Twilight said, raising an eyebrow.
“I was busy,” She said. “Sadly, my husband and I were handling...legal matters and I had to speak to my lawyer.”
“Your lawyer?” I asked.
“Yes, unfortunately,” She sighed, “We were on our way to finishing up the divorce. I loved Marty when I married him. Dancing under the stars at parties, the fancy dinners, everything was wonderful. But sadly, his career got in the way and he and I...sort of fell out.”
“You didn’t try to fix things?” Twilight asked, her face a little concerned.
“Do you think I would be filing a divorce if I hadn’t tried?” She replied.
Honestly…
“Anyways,” Limelight said, “It ultimately didn’t work out, I was on my way to the office when I heard about what happened. They wouldn’t let me in to see my husband.” She said sadly.
Sounds like Insight isn’t letting any civilians near the body anyways. A normally good policy, but I think he would’ve at least let Limelight see the body. Then again, this is considering Insight even has a heart.
“Did he have any enemies?” I asked. “We know about his feud with Quickstrike.”
Limelight nodded, “Quickstrike is just a sore loser. He had only a quarter of the talent that Marty had. So it was obvious he would be jealous. But, Quickstrike wouldn’t kill Marty. He’s all talk.”
We’ll have to leave Insight to that one sad to say. I went on, “Anypony else? What about his coach?”
“Drop Kick?” Limelight said, “Drop Kick may be a bit, tough, but I’d never imagine him hurting Marty. Those two go way back, Marty trusts Drop with everything.”
I nodded, “Could you give me an address to his office or house?” I said, levitating over the notepad. She wrote on it with her teeth and gave it back to me. “Thanks, we’ll see if we can get this matter settled as soon as possible.”
“Please do,” Limelight said, leaning back in her chair. “I do want us all to move past this. I can’t imagine what the reporters will say when they get a hold of everything.”
_________________________________________________________________
Once again, I’m assailed with memories: This time of the coach’s office back in school. What is it about these things? They end up having this homogenous feel to them, and end up looking alike. Guess it’s because they all find the most efficient lay-out and use it. That or they learn the layout when they’re learning how to be coaches. The desk, a painted gray metal rectangle, with a blank, if scuffed face toward the door. A gray filing cabinet was to the left of the desk, a bulletin board on the right. A chalkboard was against the right-hoof wall, where more plays were being planned. A scattering of papers was on the desk, and below the bulletin board was a wire waste basket.
Drop Kick himself was a pinto with a dark brown coat and light brown spots on him. He sat at his desk, muttering something as we entered. He looked up at us with annoyed green eyes. “Whaddya want?” He asked.
“I’m detective Private Eye,” I said, “This is my wife Twilight Sparkle.”
Drop Kick nodded. “Names Drop Kick, I used to be the coach of the best team in the league.” He shook his head and uttered morosely, “Now with Marty Ball dead and Quickstrike getting himself arrested I got a whole season of suck to look forward to.”
Well aren’t you a bright ray of sunshine. You and Insight should date.
I cleared my throat and said, “Um, we just wanted to ask some questions about Marty.”
“Yeah? Whaddya want tah know?” He said, not bothering to look up at us.
Twilight spoke up, “We want to know who would want to kill him.”
“Walk out the door missy,” He said rudely, “Odds are the first pony you run into would want to kill him for that shit game he pulled.”
“Was he stressed at all?” I asked.
Drop stopped in his work and looked thoughtful. “Now that you mention it,” He said. “Yeah, he did look really stressed. I thought it was because of the divorce.”
“Yeah, we met Limelight.” Twilight said, rolling her eyes.
“Regular gold digger that one.” Drop said, “I told Marty it was a dumb idea to marry her. Mares like that only bring trouble. But, they didn’t argue per say. More of just fell out of love. I figured they both realized how much of a sham it was.”
“Did they settle the pre nup?” I asked.
He shrugged, “How should I know? I never get into a players business unless it affects their game. Maybe I should’ve adopted a better policy. Anyways, Marty was stressed, he would come into practice all depressed and moody. Acted like he was gonna fall over any minute. I tried asking him what was wrong, he got defensive and suggested I focus on coaching. That got him a few laps let me tell ya.”
I looked at Twilight and we left Drop Kick to his work for a minute. “Maybe Limelight killed Marty because of the pre nup?”
I shook my head, “Would depend, we’d have to see what the agreement was. Without a warrant we can’t go looking in his legal files.”
“Thanks to Insight.” Twilight said, a dark look on her face.
I put a hoof to my chin then I said with a smile.“Wait, I think there’s somepony who could tell us.”
“Who?” Twilight asked.
“The more...responsible member of the Bolt family.”
________________________________________________________________
The apartment wasn’t anything too extravagant. Just a simple apartment that a lawyer could afford. It had some plush couches, a large tv, a full kitchen, three bedrooms, and a pair of bathrooms. Comfortable and easy to live in, Sandā wasn’t a stallion that insisted on using every bit his lawyer money can give to show off his home. Nope, most of the time, the bits go to caring for the young dark pegasus flying towards me.
“PRIVATE!” Kaze shouted as he outright tackled me. Twilight and I just got off the elevator into their home and I was knocked onto the floor by a six year old. Kaze was six right now, with a dark coat and a long green mane and cheerful blue eyes. He smiled wide as he stood on my belly, wings buzzed as he hopped up and shouted “Mama! Private is here!”
“Kaze be careful with him,” A female voice said, coming from the kitchen. Out came Kaze’s mother and Sandā’s much loved wife Mayu. She was pegaus that was a few years older than I was, her blue eyes slightly slanted to showcase her Neighpanese roots. Her coat was a verdant green and her mane was the same shade of green that Kaze sported.
Kaze fluttered over to his mom and Twilight helped me up. Mayu smiled as Kaze went to play by running around his mother’s legs. “It’s been awhile since you visited Private, and I see you brought your wife as well.”
Twilight smiled, “Twilight Sparkle,” She said, “A pleasure to meet you miss,”
“Mayu, Mayu Bolt,” She replied. “I trust you’re both here to see my husband?”
“Yes,” I said with a nod, “I hope we aren’t intruding.”
Mayu shook her head. “Not at all, you’ve always been a friend Private Eye. You’re welcome to come at any time should you need anything. After all, it takes a great stallion to keep my brother in law in line.”
Of course she meant Raiden.
“My husband is in his office,” Mayu said.
“Thanks Mayu,” I said, walking towards the office. Here’s hoping Sanda can help us out here.
_____________________________________________________________
Perspective: Twilight Sparkle
Mayu insisted I make myself comfortable, so I sat on the couch as she prepared some tea. I wasn’t about to be considered a rude guest and accepted the offer. As I sat down I saw Kaze looking up at me from the floor. I smiled a little, “Hi there.” I said.
“Are you really a princess?” Kaze asked, his blue eyes filled with wonder.
I giggled a little, “Yes I am,” I replied, “Though I still got a lot to learn before I can even think about getting a castle or anything.”
Kaze climbed onto the couch and got a look at my wings, “They’re so big! I hope I have wings like these someday! I’d fly faster than anypony!”
I smiled, “You never know Kaze, you may have wings bigger then mine someday.”
Kaze smiled as Mayu came by, she set the tea down and looked at Kaze. A look of disdain passed over her face. “Kaze.” She said, then picked him up and placed him in her lap.
Kaze squirmed a little. “Mom! I preened them already!” He whined as his mother held him.
“You missed a few feathers young man.” She said, lowering her head to pluck out a some feathers.
“Ow!” Kaze said, flapping his wings.
“You’re never going to be able to fly if you don’t take care of your wings.” Mayu scolded lightly.
I couldn’t help but, look at the pair. One day, that’s gonna be me hunched over and fussing over a filly or colt. I don’t think I’d ever have to preen my kids but…
Kids...with Private…
“Twilight?” Mayu said as she let Kaze go to play. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head to refocus, “I just, I’m amazed you handled him so well.”
She smiled, “It pays to have a firm but gentle hoof.” She said.
I looked down, “Are you happy here?”
Mayu looked at me, she said “Twilight, are you unhappy with Private?”
“Of course not!” I said firmly, but then looked down. “I just, when I met a mare today. She was so casual about her divorce. It was like she was getting a doctor's check up and not losing the most important stallion in her life.”
“You’re worried if you and Private will ever come to that,” Mayu guessed.
I nodded.
“Marriage isn’t an easy thing,” Mayu said, “if it was, everypony would be doing it. It’s easy to fall in love, but a lot harder to keep that love.”
“What was it like for you and Sanda?” I asked.
She smirked a little, “Sanda was simply too stubborn. He got one look at me and did everything in his power to try and get my attention. I tried brushing him off, thinking he was going to lose interest. But he courted me for two years before I finally caved into him.”
“Talk about playing hard to get,” I said with a laugh.
She laughed too. “Yes, Sanda wouldn’t rest until I said I’d date him. I thought after the first date or so he’d grow tired. But he said to me ‘I love you, and every day I wake up and remind myself why I love you’. He didn’t focus on all the feelings that he had about love. He just focused on why he loved and cared,” She said, and held up her wing, revealing her engagement feather. “Ultimately, that’s what got me married to him all these years.”
“But, how do I keep the love going?” I asked.
“Just remind yourself every day of the things you like about the pony,” She said. “It’s easy to focus on the bad in a pony. But if you remind yourself of why you love each other, then it won’t go away. At least, that’s what’s worked so far with me.”
I smiled and said, “I’ll try to keep it going as best I can.”
Mayu smiled and nodded. “That’s all you can really hope for.”
It helps, then, that my stallion is the Element of Hope thank you.
______________________________________________________
Perspective: Private
“So that’s why I need your help Sandā,” I said, sitting on a chair opposite from him. By contrast to his brother Raiden, Sandā was tall, his mane was jet black and slicked out of the way. His wings, looking mostly unused because his position didn’t call for quick flying, were tucked at his sides. He wore a business suit that was probably more expensive than most of the stuff in my house combined. His yellow eyes took in every word of my story.
He nodded, “I understand, Insight isn’t the friendliest of ponies. Talked my ear off before I could even see Quickstrike.”
“You’re on his case?” I asked.
He nodded, and replied, “Yep, turns out when you are the best, even scum come looking for you. But I can tell you right now the arrest is a lousy sham. There’s no way Quickstrike could’ve killed Marty.”
“He has an alibi?” I asked.
“Solid,” Sanda replied, “I got three witnesses saying they saw Quickstrike signing autographs after the game. Plus there were his teammates who were with him before the murder occurred. They were all getting chewed out by the assistant coach for the lousy plays.”
I decided to explain why I came, “I was hoping you would know if the prenup was settled with his wife. She could be a potential suspect.”
Sandā shook his head, “Pre nup? No way in hell that went through.” he said.
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“Because a will overrides everything,” Sanda said. “Nopony gets anything out of a divorce if it wasn’t finalized.”
“And because Marty died before it was finalized, they have to adhere to the will,” I concluded.
“Celestia bless bureaucracy I guess,” Sanda said, leaning back in his chair.
“Do you have the will?” I asked.
Sanda rolled over in his chair to look at the filing cabinets. He looked through them and said, “I do have a copy from when my friend wrote it for him. It was years ago and my friend transferred, but I still have some of his old files here.” He pulled a file out and set it on his desk.
He dusted it off and opened the file. He pulled out a long slip of paper and read it aloud. “I, Marten Ball, do hereby give all my earthly possessions to…” He stopped and gave it another look.
I raised an eyebrow and asked, “Limelight?”
“No,” He said, and looked up at me, “Says here, everything he has goes to a mare named Hazy Spot.”
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 3 "Touchdown Falldown"
Chapter 3
“Who in the hollering hootin hay is Hazy Spot?” I asked, Sandā blinked at that. I sighed, and continued, “Sorry, I have been living in the country for a while, haven’t I?”
Sandā just cleared his throat. “I have no idea who she is,” Sandā said with a shrug.
“You know anypony from Hoofington?” I asked.
“No, why?” Sandā asked with raised eyebrow.
“I found an envelope at the crime scene,” I explained. “It was addressed to her.”
Sandā put a hoof on his chin and said, thoughtfully, “If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say she might’ve been a very close friend of some sort?” he said.
“That’s what I’m thinking too,” I said with a nod. I got up from the desk. “Thanks for your help Sandā; I think I can take it from here.”
“I wish you luck,” Sandā said with a smile. “I’ll make sure that Insight doesn’t hear about this.”
I let out a breath of relief. “You’re a lifesaver Sandā.”
“Just keep my brother out of trouble,” Sandā said as I turned to walk out the door. But, then he spoke up, “You know, Dad always liked your family.”
“I didn’t think Arashi was impressed by anything,” I grinned.
“You just always saw him when Raiden was involved,” Sandā said, looking at me. “Every other time, he actually hoped the Eyes and Bolts would become allies.”
“But I picked the wrong one to befriend right?” I replied.
Sandā’s face was neutral as I walked out.
__________________________________________________________________
Outside I explained to Twilight what I learned. We walked down the street as we discussed it. “Hoofington is miles away from here,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “It’d take us days to get over there. Flying there would only shave off a few hours.”
“Maybe Limelight knows where she is,” I suggested.
I walked into a nearby phone booth, checked the book and found Limelight’s number. After a pair of rings, I got an answer.
“Yes, who is this?” Limelight’s voice sounded over the phone.
“It’s detective Private Eye ma’am,” I answered.
“Oh, Detective” she said, sounding surprised. “I uh, did not expect to hear from you so soon. Have you found my husband’s killer?”
“Not yet,” I said. “I was just wondering if you could help me identify a pony he knows.”
“I’ll do what I can to help.” she said.
“Do you know a mare named Hazy Spot?” I asked.
Silence greeted me from the receiver. After a minute, I heard something like a lamp breaking in the background.
Finally, Limelight’s voice yelled, “That mare doesn’t exist!”
*Click*
“She hung up on me,” I said, a little bewildered at what just happened.
Twilight put a hoof to her chin. “Doesn’t seem like Limelight cared for this Hazy Spot.”
“Maybe it’s a code of some kind?” I suggested, then shook my head. “No, his lawyer wouldn’t have let him do that. Hazy Spot has to be a real mare.”
“So what do we do?” Twilight asked. “Call every mare named Hazy Spot in Hoofington?”
“Phone book here is only for Manehatten.” I said, frowning. “I’ll give Octavia a try again. Maybe she can point us in the right direction.”
I dialed and got an answering machine.
“You reached the home of Vinyl Scratch, I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m probably at a gig, drunk, or possibly having sexy time with Octy. Whichever works, so leave that message.”
I hung up. “No luck there either,” I said, and then slammed my head against the glass of the booth in frustration. “What’s going on here, it’s like everypony wants to make this case absolutely insane.”
Twilight leaned against the booth, “What do we do now?”
“There’s…” I started searching the phone book again. It was a long shot, but we had very little options left. Thank you Insight for being a royal pain in the flank.
I dialed the number I’m looking for, and after two rings, I got an answer from a young sounding mare, had to be the secretary, “You’ve reached the Imperial Group Building, may I ask who’s speaking?”
“Private Eye, I’m a friend of Mr. Imperictus,” I answered.
“Ah yes, Mr. Imperictus has mentioned you. Shall I put him on?” The secretary asked, in a very polite tone that was well appreciated.
“Yes, thank you,” I replied.
After a minute, I heard a familiar voice on the other end, “So, the great Private Eye is calling me? I should feel greatly honored.”
“You can get rid of the flattery,” I said, rolling my eyes and catching my wife smiling. “Spera, you seem like a stallion with connections.”
“Well, I don’t mean to brag,” Spera answered, “but yes, I would know some things. I’ve heard about your little spat with Chief Insight.”
“So you can understand my plight,” I said.
“I know from experience how short sighted the police can be,” Spera said, I got a slight tone of bitterness… but it was replaced by his typical polite voice. “What is it you require?”
“Would you know about somepony that Marty Ball would be trying to contact. Possibly in secret?” I asked.
“I’ll admit, keeping up on how celebrities make fools of themselves is a guilty pleasure of mine,” Spera replied, I could imagine him chuckling on the other end.
“Great,” I said with a nod. “The pony I’m looking for is Hazy Spot.” I went on to explain everything I knew about her so far. Spera was silent as I spoke , I heard a quill going in the background. Had to be him taking notes.
“Hazy Spot hmmm?” he said, and then spoke again, “It may take a bit to gather all the information. Why don’t you come to my office? That way I can just give you the info when you arrive.”
“Alright,” I said, “Where is your office?”
“See the big skyscraper with Imperictus on it?” Spera smugly said.
I stuck my head out of the booth and sure enough there was a skyscraper just as Spera described. I got back on the phone and said, “I uh, may have seen it in passing.”
“I’ll tell security to let you both in,” Spera chuckled, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I got a mare to track down.”
I hung up and Twilight was smiling at me. I sighed, “Yes, the bromance continues.”
“Do you think Spera can pull through?” Twilight asked, keeping her smile.
“He hasn’t let us down yet. I feel like we can trust him,” I said with a nod. “Now come on, we got a millionaire to visit.”
______________________________________________________________
Spera’s tower was even more impressive up close. The tower was mostly windows and black metal holding it together. The interior was just as impressive. Smooth tile floors, black and greyish walls, and dozens of employees walking about doing their jobs.
Twilight and I walked up to the front desk. There sat a secretary, about late twenties with long curly red hair and a beige colored coat. Her blue eyes looked at us, a smile forming on her lips. “Can I help you two?” she asked and I recognized her voice from the phone.
Twilight spoke up, “We’re uh, here to see Spera.”
“Take the elevator to the fiftieth floor,” the secretary said, pointing to said elevator. “Mister Imperictus is waiting for you both.”
Twilight and I nodded and stepped into the elevator. We slowly rose up the various floors up to Spera’s office.
“It’s alright Spera,” Twilight said, holding a hoof up. “I’m still getting used to being called Princess everywhere. I don’t really need somepony to go out of their way for me.”
Spera just smiled, and got up from his desk. He gestured to the couches. “At least let me offer you comfort, I can imagine you both have been running around all day,” he said.
We both smiled and took a seat next to each other on one of the couches. Noticeably black as opposed to the silver colored floor. Spera took a seat opposite us.
I decided to start out with small talk, “So, how’s Robust and his family?”
Spera smiled and said, “Thanks to you, Robust is enjoying the time of his life with young Windstream. His husband is currently working to have the young colt enter school next year.”
“That’s great news,” Twilight said, smiling wide.
Spera nodded. “That it is,” he said, “But, I imagine you both have not come to my office for simple pleasantries.”
I nodded. “Right, we wanted to know if you found out anything about Hazy Spot,” I said.
Spera nodded, and his horn glowed his trademark forest green, a small folder came over from his desk. “I made calls and this is what I managed to find,” he replied.
I took the file in my own magic, and looked it over. “Hazy Spot, 45, lives in Hoofington.” My eyes grew wide and then I uttered in surprise, “She’s a comatose patient?”
Spera nodded. “I have a contact that lives in the Hoofington area,” he said. “Turns out she suffered a stroke about few years ago. The stroke has made her completely unresponsive and helpless.”
“Any connection to Marty?” Twilight asked.
Spera nodded and said, “Yes, according to my contact, they were foalhood friends. Two peas in a pod as it were.”
“That would explain how she knows Marty,” I said, putting a hoof to my chin.
“I did a little more digging,” Spera explained. “Turns out, Marty had been sending checks to her every now and again. Mostly for hospital bills and for the care of her son.”
“She has a son?” Twilight asked.
Spera nodded and said, “A colt named Sunny Spot, his father was a miner who died in an accident. Hazy raised him all by herself working at a cleaning service.”
“Maybe he wanted to help an old friend,” Twilight speculated. “I know that if one of my friends was in trouble I’d help where I could.”
“It’s no wonder you're the Element of Magic, Twilight,” Spera smiled.
Twilight rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “Well I uh, do what I can,” she said, obviously flattered.
I looked down at the file and sifted through the pages. “You even have his financials in here,” I pointed out.
“I figured you’d want to see them,” Spera said with a nod.
“You’d make a pretty good detective Spera,” I said, looking at the document. “It’s all very through.”
Spera shrugged, “I doubt I’d make a good detective. I’m more of the, behind the scenes sort of stallion.”
“Even still,” Twilight said, “we really appreciate your help.”
“Anytime,” Spera replied.
Twilight looked over at his desk as I kept looking through the file. “Spera,” she said, “I noticed you don’t have any pictures on your desk.”
“Oh,” Spera said, probably looking at the desk. “Yes, I simply do not have anypony to keep at my desk.”
“Don’t you have any family?” Twilight asked. “Special someponies?”
“Oh no,” Spera replied. “I’m not lucky enough to have a somepony yet. As for family, my only close relative is my sister. She doesn’t like it when I take her picture.”
“Oh,” Twilight said.
“It’s alright, you’re as curious as your husband,” Spera said, a small chuckle in his voice. “A fine quality that I wish more ponies held.”
My eyes stopped as I looked over the financials again. “Wait…” I began.
Twilight looked over my shoulder. “What is it?”
“Today just before he died,” I said, looking at my wife, “Marty withdrew all the money from his account.”
“What?” Twilight exclaimed, blinking.
“Yep, right here in his bank record,” I said, pointing at the chart. “One minute, more bits than I could ever make on my own in a year, next minute gone.”
Spera put a hoof on his chin and said, “If I could hazard a guess, I’d say Marty knew he was going to die.”
“Wait, there’s something more.” Twilight said, looking at the chart. “Marty’s account than has money added to it around the time he died.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Spera said. “Why add money to a dead pony’s account?”
“Unless,” I looked at them both and said. “Unless somepony added to it not knowing he was dead yet.”
“Again, it doesn’t make sense,” Twilight said, shaking her head.
“Actually, it does,” Spera said. “I remember watching the game before Marty died. I’m no expert on sports, but apparently he hasn’t played that badly in his whole career.”
“He was fixing the game,” I concluded. “He probably bet a bunch of money that he’d lose by a landslide. The bookmaker then put the money into his account not knowing he’d be dead hours later.”
“The question is,” Spera observed, “Who’s the bookmaker?”
I smiled, “I have a pretty good way of finding out.”
_____________________________________________________________
Perspective: Octavia
I walked down Manehatten’s streets. I was clad in my father’s old outfit. Black fedora, jacket, white shirt and a pink tie. I also wore a small masquerade mask to hide my face. I knew it would keep myself hidden amongst the general populace. But any criminals that saw me would know not to mess with me. Even if I was carrying a cello case on my back.
I hated to leave Vinyl at home, but I wasn’t about to turn down a favor from Private. I owe that damn detective too much to ignore him. Plus, he knows who I am, so he has that against me as well.
Octavia Val Jean is about to go to work.
I walked into an alleyway, and walked down a small set of stairs. At the bottom was a door, I knocked, once, then twice, then three times. An eye slide opened to reveal a pair of stiff brown eyes. “Password?” A rough voice said.
I smiled and uttered, “Always fear the bartender.”
The slide closes and the door opened. The bouncer stallion just gave a curt nod. I walked into the Tanners Hole with a neutral expression on my face. It was your typical dive bar. Old wood, old tables, smell of stale alcohol and smoke permeating the air. Naturally it was dim. Nopony wanted to see how well and truly dirty the place was. No cushions on the bar stools, and booths, because they’d never last long. And the glasses were heavy tumblers, practically unbreakable. Probably got a down-on-their-luck unicorn magician to enchant them to be unbreakable, too, to save on replacing glassware. It was that kind of bar.
As I walked up to the bar, I got my share of looks from the patrons here. Several of them under normal circumstances I’d buck to the moon for even making the look. But I was trying to be professional here.
I looked at the bartender, some old stallion who just grunted towards me. I smiled and said ever so politely, “A glass of scotch on the rocks. I highly suggest you don’t take that literally, the last pony who did that drank out of a straw for the rest of his life.”
The stallion blinked, and went about getting my drink without a fuss. I set my cello case against the bar and waited patiently for my prey.
“Got a name sweetheart or just an attitude?” I heard a voice say next to me.
I looked over and saw yet another example of why my barn door swings the other way. The unicorn stallion sitting next to me was at least twice my age. His coat was a light blue and his eyes a gross looking yellow. His hair was an absolute ratty mess of brown and grey. When he smiled, it showed a gold tooth that impressed absolutely nopony.
“I have many names, Rat,” I said with a smirk as his face paled. I ran a hoof along his chest and added, “But I’m thinking… you can call me sir…”
SLAM!
The stallion groaned as he went down. I’d have to wash my hind leg later. I smiled and said, “Consider yourself lucky, that’s about the only time a mare will touch there.”
“You bitch!” Rat said as his face twisted in pain. “Do you have any idea who I am?”
“A lowlife piece of scum who also happens to be one of the biggest bookmakers in town,” I said, taking a swig of my scotch when it came. Thankfully, actual ice was used. The stallion was smart not to make any comment.
Rat however, said a few choice words under his breath.
“What was that?” asked, getting off my stool and stomping my hoof on his face.
“I mean,” he gasped, “What do you want…”
I pushed a little harder.
“Sir,” He groaned.
“There, now was that so hard?” I asked. “I want you to tell me who exactly is Marty Ball’s bookmaker.”
“I’ll never tell you!” Rat spat. “I ain’t afraid of a little bitch like you!”
I looked over and saw two large stallions coming over. “Aww, seems you invited friends to the party.” I said, and then smirked. “It must be rather embarrassing, to be held down by a mare. I don’t want to embarrass your friends here either.”
“Kill that bitch!” Rat cried.
I watched as the first one tried to tackle me. I dodged deftly out of the way. I made it over to my cello case, but not before the second one tackled me. I slammed into the wall as patrons around me yelled and tried to get out of the way.
The bartender tried to yell a warning but Rat gave him a look that was meant to quiet him.
I delivered a swift punch to the second stallion, knocking some of his teeth out and freeing me. I delivered an uppercut that sent him flying into the bar. The second stallion pulled a knife out of his vest and stuck it in his teeth.
As he swung at me I leapt over his head, flipped, and landed right back at my cello case. I reached in and pulled out my bow. I gave it a shake, and the wood inverted to reveal the blade hidden underneath. I held it in my front hooves as I stood on my hind legs.
The stallion, undeterred by my strange fighting style, charged at me. I dodged his swing, clashed blades with him, and delivered a roundhouse kick that he blocked with a leg. He swung at me, slicing a part of my jacket but I was okay. I swung the sword and sliced along the blade again. The blade of his knife came clean off.
The stallion looked about ready to wet his legs when I grabbed him by the head, and slammed him against the bar.
I turned around and saw Rat with a pistol held in his magic. I dodged his first shot and managed to flip back to my cello case. I smirked and said, “Nice gun.”
Rat smirked, “Giving up now you little bitch?” He said smugly.
“Not until you’ve seen mine!” I said, pulling on the neck of my cello, it came completely out, and Rat’s eyes grew wide as he was faced with a tommy gun. I smirked and aimed at his hooves, “Dance little rat.” I said, and opened fire.
Rat’s hooves dodged the bullets. He really put up quite the dance before he came to the table. I swung my blade and knocked the gun away. I stuck the tommy gun in his mouth and said, “Now, let’s start over shall we?”
He nodded, too scared to speak with a gun in his mouth. Especially one that can turn the back of his head into swiss cheese.
“Good,” I said with a smile, and removed the gun, but kept it right in front of his nose.
“I-it’s me!” Rat said. “I’m Marty’s Bookmaker! I gave him the money! He got somepony to bet on him losing!”
“You mean to tell me Marty didn’t bet on himself losing?” I asked.
“That’s stupid,” Rat said, “No bookmaker would do that. You can’t bet on yourself losing, that’s just wasted money on my part. No, somepony else bet the money, lots of money. It cost me a small fortune.”
“Then why did the money end up in Marty’s account?” I asked.
“What’s your beef with hi-” He was cut off when I stuck the gun back into his blathering mouth.
“Answer the question,” I said firmly.
I removed the gun and Rat spoke again, “It was some kid, named Sunny Spot.”
Sunny Spot… but isn’t he-
I heard sirens in the background. I slammed a bottle onto Rat’s head so he didn’t get any ideas. He’d wake up with a massive headache and no pride tomorrow. Well, it’s what he deserves.
I then heard a voice over a megaphone, “Val Jean! Come out with your hooves in the air!”
Nopony really knew about who exactly Val Jean was.They just knew what the trademarks were. The fedora, the tommy gun, the bartender must’ve given me away. Hopefully nopony saw my face thanks to the mask.
I’d have to deal with the bartender later. I never liked squealers, even in grade school.
There was no back exit, that I had to guess. The police would be there too. How’d they manage to trap me so well? Oh well…
I collected my cello case and went back topside. I saw about half a dozen police officers with their guns trained on me. I saw one particular older stallion glaring at me. So this was Gunry Insight.
“Val Jean!” He said, in his megaphone, “Put down your case and weapons.”
I complied, dropping my cello case containing my weapons and my sword. I held my hooves in the air. “Been hearing things about you Chief Insight!” I said.
“Yes, I’m sure the press will have a few things to say about the capture of Val Jean and her being brought to justice!” Insight said, “Now let us take you in and nopony gets hurt!”
“I have no intention of being brought in,” I said, smiling. “Like Neigh Val Jean, I have more important things than getting arrest by a Jockvert wannabe.”
“I am the police chief!” Insight cried. “I have the authority to bring you in!”
“No wonder the military kicked you out…” I said, my smirk widening.
“Cuff her!” He ordered two of his men.
I smiled, and took off down an alleyway. I dodged gunfire, those cops were always lousy shots.
I wall jumped and climbed up a fire escape and made it to the roof. I smiled as I looked down at the cops. “A little something to remember me by Insight! Welcome to the force!”
I reached into my jacket, and tapped a button inside it.
My cello case started beeping down there…
“HIT THE DIRT!” Insight cried.
BOOM!
Went the smoke bomb as the smoke covered the whole street. The blast wouldn't hurt anypony caught in it, but it would cover me and destroy the case at the same time. Providing me with the perfect means of getting the hell out. I made my escape, smiling the whole way.
I just hope I can get to Private in time… Vinyl… be safe until I come home…
______________________________________________________________
Perspective: Gunry Insight.
Of all the dirty rotten lowest of low piece of scum! We get a tip that Val Jean, one of the most wanted criminals in Manehatten, is here and she slips through our hooves!
I kicked the cello case and looked to one of my officers. “Put an APB out on her! I want every cop in Manehatten looking for Val Jean!”
The officer saluted and ran off. I looked to another officer. “Also, make sure Private Eye is kept on close watch.”
The officer gave a quizzical look, “Sir, what does Private Eye have to do with any of this?”
“Simple,” I smirked, “I know Private Eye isn’t afraid to work alongside criminals… for he is one himself for even considering it…”
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 3 "Touchdown Falldown"
Chapter 4
“Fourth Down”
Perspective: Private Eye
“Gunry saw you?” I asked over the phone. Twilight and I were standing once again at the phone booth. Celestia’s sun was about to fall into the horizon to make way for Luna’s moon. The streets would be crowded with night lifers pretty soon.
“Yes, but I managed to get away without a hitch. He didn’t see my face or my cutie mark, thanks to the clothing. I’ll need to lay low for a while,” Octavia said on the other end.
“I’m just glad you’re okay,” I smiled. “So what did you find out?”
“Turns out somepony named Sunny Spot had bet a hell of a lot against Marty. That was the reason why you have those bits entering the account after his death. Rat was simply doing his job.” she explained.
“Sunny Spot?!” I cried. “Octavia! I need you to tell me where Sunny is right now!”
“Way ahead of you Private, I had some of my men track him down. Turns out, he’s heading for the subway and is probably hoping to skip town,” Octavia explained. “I believe the station is the one a few blocks north from where you are. The one for the old Canterlot Line. Acts as a red-eye to the Eastern part of Equestria.”
“I know where that is,” I said with a firm nod. “You head home, I’m sure Vinyl is missing you.”
“Yes, she probably is. I promised myself I’d try to go straight ever since I met her. But, seems there’s just too much work for me to do,” Octavia said, rather sadly.
“You and me both,” I agreed, and Octavia and I hung up our phones.
Than strangely, the phone rang again. I slowly picked it up…
“Hello?” I asked.
I was greeted by a voice on the other end. One that sounded distorted.
“You’re close Private Eye… very close…”
“Who is this?” I demanded.
“A friend… I think you’d like to know… .that somepony had just taken all the money out of Marty’s accounts…”
Spera had the info….
“What did you do to him?” I asked. “My friend had the account information and access to look at it.”
“Don’t worry, your friend Spera is unharmed. Let’s just say he’s very… cooperative once his sister’s safety comes into question…” he said.
“You bastard!” I yelled. “Who are you and what do you want?”
“What I want, is for you to catch Sunny before Gunry does. You’ll find him where your friend Octavia said. But you should also know, that Sunny threatened Marty’s life in a letter.”
“Why should I believe you?” I asked, my eyes narrowing on reflex.
“You have no choice in the matter. Ask Sunny himself when you find him. I think it will be obvious once you see what he looks like…”
“I ask again, who are you?”
…”Call me, Shadowhoof…”
*Click*
I had no idea whether to trust this, Shadowhoof character. But I had to check, I called Spera’s office. After two rings I got an answer, a weak sounding Spera gasped, “Private, I’m sorry, bastard got to me while my back was turned.”
“You were going to tell me about the sudden withdrawal?” I asked.
“Yes, how did you know?” he said, his breathing a little heavy.
“Let’s just say I met our mutual friend. Are you alright?” I asked.
“I’ll be fine, he just smacked me around a little, my secretary called my personal physician. I’ll be patched up soon,” Spera replied.
“Your sister?”
“I called her high school, she’s fine. She said some men were following her, but I taught her how to run away in the city. She kept them at bay before they could do harm,” he answered.
“Good, we’ll handle the rest from here,” I said, hanging up and looking at Twilight. “Come on, we got a kid to catch.”
_______________________________________________________________
“Look! Just give me a ticket already!” Sunny demanded of the ticket seller. The station was mostly a little used one and deserted of any other ponies except for the once bored ticket seller. The benches were old and unpadded, and the wood the station was built with was gray with age. It was obvious why Sunny chose this particular station out of all the other ones in Canterlot.
“Sorry, but the train won’t come any faster if you ask it politely,” the seller said. “this stand doesn’t open until the train is at least a few miles down the tracks.”
Sunny reached into his duffel bag and pulled out a revolver, aiming it at the ticket seller’s head. “If you don’t give me that ticket, and call the driver to move faster I-”
*Click*
“You really don’t want to add two murders, Sunny,” I said, pointing Blackbird at the back of his head. “Now be a good boy and drop your weapon.” The ticket seller simply fainted at the sight of two guns.
Sunny complied, dropping the gun on the floor. I levitated it up, and opened the chamber. “One shot fired,” I said. “And of the same caliber as the one used to kill Marty. Care to explain that?”
“Who are you? A cop?” Sunny asked.
“No, I’m worse,” I replied. “Now turn around, let me see your face.”
Slowly Sunny turned around, and both Twilight’s and mine’s eyes grew wide. Sunny was the spitting image of Marty. The same orange coat and brown mane. His eyes were a pale yellow and small freckles were on his cheeks. Probably traits he inherited from his…
“You,” Twilight began, “You look just like Marty.”
Sunny glared at her. “That’s because I’m his son.”
“I figured,” I said. “Marty wouldn’t go to all this trouble if he didn’t really care about Hazy.”
“But, why would you kill your own father?” Twilight asked.
“You wanna know why?” Sunny said, his voice filled with venom. “It was because he never was my dad. He left mom all alone in Hoofington while he went around scoring touchdowns and raking in dough. He had everything while the only thing he ever gave mom was me.”
“You’re a love child,” I concluded.
Sunny nodded and said, “Yeah. Didn’t see a lotta love on my end, though. Mom had to struggle, every day, and her family wasn’t much help. Disgrace to the family, and all that, ‘cos good mares aren’t supposed to do that during their season, unless there’s a ring in the offing.”
“So you threatened Marty to throw that game so you could get enough money to help your ailing mother,” I said.
Sunny, slowly looked down and said somberly, “I-I didn’t think he would do it. All those letters Mom sent him, he never wrote back. I built up this image in my head of a dad who didn’t give a damn about me or Mom. After she had her stroke, I tried to save up the money myself. But, I’m just a clerk at the town hall. My salary can barely cover my own expenses let alone a mother on life support.”
“So, you went to the father,” Twilight said.
“He only wrote back after I sent the threat.” Sunny explained. “He said he’d throw the game, and let me and mom have the money.”
“You didn’t believe him,” I said. “You were so shocked after he threw the game, that you shot him right there. You couldn’t believe that he was a father who genuinely loved you and your mother. So, you took all those years of anger out on him.”
“Then,” Sunny was legitimately crying. “Then, I saw this…” He reached into his bag and gave me a letter.
I read it aloud, “Dear Hazy, I know it’s been years but I haven’t heard from you. I however, did hear about our son Sunny. I bet he’s a great kid. I had no idea he existed. I hope you get better from your stroke. But, just in case, I named you and Sunny my heirs to my fortune. You’ll need the money far more than me and Limelight ever will.”
Twilight looked at Sunny, and said, quietly, “He loved you. He was going to give you the money anyways.”
Sunny covered his eyes with a hoof. “Had I known, had I known he cared I… oh Celestia what have I done…?”
Twilight walked over and put a hoof on Sunny’s shoulder. “How many letters did you mother sent to Marty?”
“Hundreds since he got famous,” Sunny said. “But, after awhile he just stopped writing back. I thought it was because he heard about me and wanted nothing to do with me.”
“You should’ve stayed where you were, obscure and out of the way.”
All three of us looked to the stairs.
Standing there was Limelight, two unicorn bodyguards were there, holding guns in their magic. I stood there, Blackbird raised and ready to shoot one of them right between the eyes, Twilight stood in front of Sunny, her wings spread to cover him.
“So, the little bastard is still breathing.” Limelight said with a devious sneer.
“What do you want?” Sunny asked from behind Twilight.
“Simple, I want all evidence of Hazy Spot’s existence to disappear,” Limelight said.
I glared at her. “So you’re the mastermind behind all this,” I spat.
“Whatever do you mean detective?” Limelight said.
“Don’t play dumb with me. You’re the reason why Sunny was forced to do what he did,” I said. “But he ruined your little plan.”
“What are you talking about?” Sunny asked.
Twilight answered for me, “He means that it’s Limelight’s fault all this happened.” She turned her glare at Limelight. “You manipulated everything. You were trying to get rid of most of the property thanks to the divorce. Which was just a lousy attempt to get at his money and estate. But when you heard about Hazy’s son…”
I continued, “You knew that Sunny would inherit everything if Marty found out about him. So, you disposed of the letters from Hazy before they could get at Marty. It made him believe that Hazy simply forgot about him.”
Limelight stuck her nose up, “Thanks to that meddlesome brat I’ll get none of that estate. Do you realize how much Marty's trophies alone are worth? Millions to collectors and the hall of fame. That alone would’ve had me set for life.”
“You married him for his money!” Twilight spat.
“Like your husband is any better,” Limelight fired back. “I’m sure there are tons of perks that come from being married to a newly crowned princess.”
“Unlike you Limelight,” Twilight said with a growl, “I actually love my husband. I don’t just use him so I can get twenty muzzle lifts whenever I want.”
“It was twelve!” Limelight snarled. “Anyways, the will only works if a pony known as Hazy Spot exists. But since she’s comatose right now she can’t get the money. Her heir does…”
“You want to kill Sunny so you can get everything,” I concluded. “That’s what this was all about in the end, money.”
Limelight’s eye twitched.
“You had everything, a good house, money, dresses, everything a mare could want, or so you thought. But I’m sure after a while you got tired of your husband,” I said.
“All he ever talked about was that damn Hazy Spot!” Limelight spat. “That no good dirt licker slut who had nothing to her name! Yet it was always Hazy Spot this! Hazy Spot that! When will she write? When will she call?” She growled a little. “I tried to erase her existence! I tried everything in my power to destroy her! But no! Even her bastard ruins my plans!”
“You witch!” Sunny cried. “You made sure dad never got the letters from mom! Mom was heartbroken for years! She would cry in her sleep wondering if dad would ever write back! If I had known you were the reason she was crying I’d have come and told dad myself!”
“That’s why all this happened,” I said, “It was because Limelight wanted to inherit everything. You had no idea that your father didn’t know about you. So, when your mother got sick, you took your revenge. Limelight didn’t count on that fact. With your dad dead, you and your mom get everything.”
“Dad… he really did care…” Sunny said, about to cry again.
“Now…” Limelight said as her bodyguards aimed at us, “I’ll erase all ponies who know about him. Starting with the two of you.”
Both bodyguards opened fire at us, Twilight’s horn glowed and a barrier formed around us. The bullets ricocheted for a moment before I came leaping out of it. I tackled one body guard, knocking his gun onto the tracks.
Twilight engaged the other one, her horn glowed and her magic overpowered his on the gun. The gun was literally crushed by the force of Twilight’s telekinesis. She then fired a beam of magic that sent the body guard flying into a pillar.
I slammed my forehooves into the face of the other bodyguard, knocking him out cold. I then saw Limelight pull a gun out of her purse and aim it at Sunny.
“NOO!” my horn glowed and I slammed my hoof onto the ground on instinct. Sparks shown as a small rock wave made it’s way towards Limelight. She didn’t even fire off a shot before my wave hit her square in the side. It sent her flying and crashing into the wall.
I looked at the rocks… did I do that…? I did something like it before in that alternate reality… But I thought that was shadow magic…
This is alchemy…?
Sunny was okay, a little shaken up but okay as he laid on the ground, his back against the wall. He didn’t look hurt, just a little panicked.
I shook my head as Twilight used her telekinesis to restrain Limelight against the wall. I slapped hoof cuffs on her and said, “Limelight, I’m placing you under arrest for fraud, attempted ponycide, tampering with a will, and anything else the courts can get you on.”
I suddenly heard another voice that made my blood cold…
“I’m placing you Private Eye under arrest for disrupting justice, tampering with evidence, meddling in police business, and consorting with the known criminal Val Jean.”
I turned around and saw that Gunry Insight had come in, swat ponies all around us. They went to the bodyguards and cuffed them. A couple took Limelight and Sunny as Twilight and I stood there, guns once again pointed at us.
“I knew there was something disgusting about you,” Insight said, standing in front of us and glaring at me. “I can smell a smart ass from a mile away. But I didn’t think you’d refuse to listen and go criminal.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” I said firmly.
“You have no proof we’ve even met this Val Jean,” Twilight said.
“I’m sure you two would be more than willing to confess after some time in the cell,” He said, and then looked to the swat pony on his right. “Cuff them both.”
“But sir,” one swat pony said, “That’s Twilight Sparkle.”
“I have eyes, I know who she is. I also know that by consorting with Private Eye, she’s a criminal as well,” Insight said, and then ordered, “Cuff them b-”
“STAND DOWN!”
Everypony looked up as none other than Princess Celestia stepped into the subway. She was flanked by a pair of solar guards. One of them I recognized as Flash Sentry. Insight’s face paled at the sight of her.
Celestia looked to the swat ponies and declared, “Why are you all staring at me? Put the guns away from my student and her love this instant!”
They were smart enough to listen. They stood down and backed away as Celestia walked to us. “Are you both alright?”
“You came just in time Celestia,” Twilight said with a sigh of relief.
Celestia smiled, and then her eyes looked at the rock wave. She looked at me and said, “I trust that’s your doing?”
“Uh, it was sort of an accident,” I replied.
“I should inform your teacher that you have made great progress,” Celestia smiled, obviously referring to her love Voidera. The guy took me on as his student after the whole Snowlands fiasco. I trained under him to hone alchemy ever since. Granted, I had no idea I was capable of performing something like that.
“Your highness!” Insight spoke up. “I was about to arrest these two for obstruction of justice!”
Celestia simply turned her head back to him, she spoke in a voice that made everypony listen to what she had to say. “Obstruction of justice? All I'm seeing is you trying to arrest my student and the pony she loves. So far, they have found the true criminal, apprehended the mastermind behind the crime, and all of that while you did what? Tried pinning the blame on another pony with a solid alibi? Now why do you think I stand with Private? You're a officer, I'm sure you can figure it out”
“But, surely,” Insight said, glaring at me. “They were consorting with Val Jean! How else could they have found out about the boy?”
“Like I said,” Celestia answered, a little smug. “You’re an officer, you figure it out. But I can assure you, that even if this Val Jean was a criminal. He or she has done a good service to Equestria. That alone puts him or her in a good light with me. If Private and Twilight trust this Val Jean, then you have no right to interfere. I will let this go Chief Insight. But if I ever hear of you trying to arrest Private Eye or my student or anypony without due evidence again, I will have my vizier Guarity assign you to royal envelope licker.”
Insight swore under his breath. “Take the boy and the others into custody. Leave Private and the princess.”
The swat ponies complied. Insight gave one last glare at me. It clearly said, “This isn’t over.”
With that, the chief left with his troops.
I sighed in relief. “That was too close.”
Celestia looked to us and said, “I trust you two will not have trouble from him in the future. I cannot depose him because this is a first offense. But if he ever troubles you again, you let me know.”
Twilight smiled at her mentor. “Thanks Celestia,” she said, “I’m glad you’re on our side.”
I gave Celestia a look. “You know who Val Jean is, don’t you?”
Celestia smiled, “Vinyl may have let slip during a party about her.” She cleared her throat and imitated the DJ: “My totally badass mare friend who’s an awesome mob boss.”
I don’t know what was more shocking, the fact Celestia was willing to imitate Vinyl and do a good job of it, or that Celestia knew about Val Jean’s identity this whole time.
Celestia simply winked. She then went on to say, “Now, I must return to Canterlot.”
“Wait, how did you know we were in trouble?” I asked.
“I heard from the news about Quickstrike’s arrest,” Celestia said with a smile, “I’ve worked with you two long enough to know when an arrest is bogus. The rest was simply following the trail.” She then looked to me. “I trust you will be able to escort Princess Twilight home Private?”
I gave a bow and sighed, “Yes, I’m sure we’d both appreciate some rest after a long day.”
“What about Limelight and Sunny?” Twilight asked.
“Sunny is going to do time for the murder,” I explained. “but he’s a good kid, he’ll get out pretty soon once the court hears the circumstances. Limelight however, is going to have a much harder time now that her circumstances have come to light.”
Celestia nodded and said, “I shall grant Sunny a royal lawyer to aid him.” Then she started walking away, “Now if you all will excuse me, I have preparations for a royal summit to iron out with Cadence.”
The Princess of the sun walked away with her guards. Twilight leaned on my shoulder. “What a day.” She said tiredly.
“I know,” I said, leaning against her as well. “Let’s, just go home.”
Twilight got up, and walked by me, running her tail along my chin. “Yes,” She said, a slightly sultry tone entering her voice. “I have a hero to reward…”
I gave a smile and we walked out to venture home.
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 3 "Touchdown Falldown"
Epilogue
Perspective: ???
It was your typical Manehatten evening. A dark sky but bright lights making it so even the darkest corners of the city have light. Which made the shadows all the more stark. I watched the ponies move about their evening duties from the window. But, it wasn’t my house I was standing in. No, I was the uninvited guest of Chief Gunry Insight.
His wife, the lovely Melody Insight, was rather shocked when she found her home in darkness. It didn’t take much to lure her, put an aesthetic spell on her, and tie her up before she saw my face. She was lovely, late twenties, brown hair, a fine bluish coat and soft brown eyes. How a mare such as her chose to stay with Insight is beyond me.
She sat there in the chair, her hind legs tied together and her forelegs tied behind the back. A blindfold was over her eyes to keep my identity hidden. Some duct tape took care of her sniveling too.
I looked over as the door opened. Inside stepped in Gunry Insight himself. It was dark, he couldn’t see who I was. But he could see his wife. “Melody!” He cried.
Melody’s ears perked up and she started letting out muffled cries as she heard her husband’s voice. Gunry was about to run to her when I said, “Not another step. Also, if your horn even glows a bit, I won’t hesitate to throw her out the window. It’s quite a long fall.”
“You bastard!” Gunry said, “Who are you! What are you doing with her?!”
Melody let out some whimpers as my hoof touched her cheek. “Oh nothing, just making sure we get a few things straight around here.”
“Let her go now,” Gunry said.
“You’ll get her back,” I said, moving in the shadows. “Provided you listen to what I have to say.”
“You’ve got nothing to say to me, you enter my house, tie up my wife, and threaten me. You’re nothing more than a lousy criminal in my eyes for even doing the first part,” Gunry growled.
“Well, then I’ll say words and hope you’ll listen to them,” I said, a tad smug. “I’m sure you are most aware of Celestia’s warning to you.”
“What do you care?” Gunry asked.
“I’m just here to make sure you comply.” I said.
“Are you some kind of agent for Celestia?” Gunry guessed.
“Oh no, I have no loyalty to her majesty.” I said. “Her, policies about the noble class have always been a little too soft for my tastes.”
“So you’re a traitor,” Gunry concluded.
“I like to think of myself as a revolutionary,” I answered.
“You can you think yourself dead if you don’t let my wife go!” Gunry roared.
“You’ll get her back, I’m here to provide a warning,” I said. “If you ever try to interfere with the cases again, I will not be so merciful.”
“You think I’m afraid of you?” Gunry said. “I faced agents in Afmarestan who were scarier than you.”
I smiled, and my horn slowly glowed with a green and purple magic. Gunry’s pupils dilated as suddenly an aura of magic fell around his neck. He started gasping for air as he clutched his neck. “I don’t believe this is in your typical terrorist torture catalog,” I said, keeping my back turned to Insight so the glow didn’t illuminate my face.
Melody heard her husband choking and let out muffled screams.
“You...bastard….” Gunry said as he choked. “I’ll see you….in prison…”
“Are you certain?” I asked. “Because lately, ponies have been leaving your prisons...in a very bad way…”
“You...you’re..” Gunry coughed a little. “You’re responsible, you’re the murderer.”
“I can’t take all the credit,” I said, smiling a little. “My...accomplice handled young Ivy quite...nicely.”
“What...was the point...of this…?” Gunry asked, his air running out.
“To show you...just how powerless the police are compared to Shadowhoof….” I said, and then canceled my magic so Gunry went plop on the floor, gasping for air. Melody kept letting out muffled screams, trying desperately to know what was going on.
“I leave you now with this,” I said, “you stay out of Private Eye’s way. If not….I won’t be as merciful to you...or your precious Melody…” With that, my horn glowed and I teleported away.Perspective: Gunry Insight
Of...all the...dirty rotten….
I shook my head and breathed steadily. What kind of magic was that? I felt as if my very life was being squeezed out. But, no, there’s something more important to deal with.
I moved over as best I could to Melody, tears stained her blindfold as I gently removed the tape over her mouth. “Gunry?” She said, her voice quavering a little. “What happened? Did he hurt you?”
I removed the blindfold to reveal her beautiful brown eyes and said, “I’m made of tougher stuff, darling. I’m sorry you got caught up in this.”
She smiled gently, “I knew what I was getting into when I married a soldier,” She said. “I’m just glad he didn’t kill you.”
I nuzzled her gently as I untied her. I was so glad she was okay. Melody is the one ray of light in my life. She hugged me tight when her bonds were finally free. I held her gently, running my hoof through her brown mane. “It’s okay,” I said, soothingly. “He’s gone now.”
Whoever that bastard was, he’s going to pay for threatening Melody. But...why did he want me to lay off Private?
Riiing
I let go of Melody and picked up the phone. “This better be damn important,” I growled into the receiver.
“Chief! It’s the criminal we just arrested! You know, that Limelight chick?” That was Wavelength, he was a prison guard.
“Spill it, what happened?” I demanded.
“I don’t how she got the rope, one minute she was sitting in her cell, I turn around and….she hung herself…”
