Goodbye
Inspired by my thoughts.
A young colt at the age of 14 is walking to school. His name is Film Maker and he has the cutiemark of a camera. He likes to listen to music on his way to school everyday. He likes to put his attention of the lyrics of the songs he listens to. The lyrics were sad and depressing just like how he felt. He arrived at the entrance of the school and he saw all the ponies in the courtyard. He turned up his music and lowered his head towards the ground and went through the crowd. He tried his best to avoid being yelled at and being shoved. He walked through the crowd hoping that nopony would notice. He went through the crowd and he saw his four friends. Night Striker, Saints, Shorty, and Sugar Rush. He walked up to his friends. Film smiled when he saw his friends.
"Hey film. How are you doing?" Sugar asked excitedly.
"I'm good." Film replied.
"What did you do over the weekend?" Saints asked.
"I sat alone in my room with my thoughts to myself." Film replied.
They talked until the bell rung and once the bell rung Film's smile disappeared.
"I'll see you ponies later." Film said.
"Later Film." Saints said.
"See you around." Sugar said.
"By Film." Night said.
Film put his earbuds in his ears and walked to class. Once he arrived he sat down in his desk and saw all of his classmates in groups. Film put his head on his desk and listened to the lyrics of the songs. The teacher walked in the room and Film took out his earbuds and payed attention.
"All right class we are going to work on equations. I will pass out the quizzes and you are allowed to listen to music as long as you pay attention." The teacher said.
The teacher walked around the classroom handing out the quizzes. Once Film got his quiz, he put in his earbuds and started working. He payed attention to the lyrics of his song while working. After a couple of songs. Film felt something hit the back of his head. He turned around and looked on the floor and saw a balled up piece of paper. He unfolded it and it said "Fuck you fag". He threw it away in a nearby trash can. Film put his hoof up in the air to get the teacher's attention. The teacher looked at him.
"Yes film." The teacher said.
"May I use the restroom?" Film asked.
"Yes you may." The teacher replied.
Film grabbed his backpack and grabbed the hallway pass. He walked out of the classroom without anypony noticing that he had his backpack. He walked in the bathroom and searched all the stalls to see if anypony was in them. He went in one of the stalls and opened up his backpack. He pulled out a can of beer and opened it as quiet as he could and started to drink it. He got through half of the can until he heard somepony walk into the bathroom. Film quickly dumped the alcohol into the toilet and flushed it. He put the empty can behind the toilet. He grabbed his backpack and walked out of the stall. He went towards the sink to make it look like as if he just got done using the toilet. He saw the pony give him a strange look and then went into the stall he came out of. Film quickly ran out of the bathroom and back to class. Once he showed up in the classroom. He looked at his desk and saw a piece of paper that said 'read me'. He sat down in his desk and started to read the note. "Dear faggot, I would like to say that we don't need anymore queers like you in this fucking school. So do us all a favor and just kill yourself already. Sincerely, Your mom." The note said. Film balled it up and threw it away.
"Stop wasting paper faggot!" Somepony yelled.
Film put in his earbuds and turned the music up as high as it went. He tried his best to hold back some of his tears and luckily for him no pony noticed that he cried. Then, the bell rung and Film put his unfinished quiz in his backpack and walked out of the class.
12:00, lunch time, cafeteria. Film was sitting by himself listening to his music. All of a sudden there was a pound on his table and he jumped. He looked up and saw Sugar Rush smiling at him.
"So how was your classes?" Sugar asked.
"It was okay." Film replied.
"I think you're lying." Sugar said.
"Why do you think that?" Film asked.
"Because there's a note on your backpack saying 'fuck you faggot'." Sugar replied.
Film looked at his backpack and saw the note. He tore it off and put it under the table.
"It's probably some sort've prank." Film said.
"These pranks are getting fucking stupid by now. Don't you think?" Sugar asked.
"You said it." Film replied.
Shorty sat down right next to Sugar with his lunch. Shorty looked at Film.
"Aren't you going to have lunch?" Shorty asked.
"There's no money in my lunch account." Film replied.
"Here have my hay fries." Shorty said.
"Thanks but i'll be fine." Film said.
"Bitch I know your going to take my hay fries." Shorty said.
Film chuckled and looked at Shorty with a smile. Shorty was smiling as well.
"Okay. Thank you Shorty." Film said.
"You're welcome." Shorty said.
Night and Saints sat down right next to Film. Saints had an angry expression on his face.
"Dude my fucking third period teacher is a bitch." Saints said.
"What did he do this time?" Sugar asked.
"It's a she. Anyway I got up from my desk to turn in my paperwork and she took my paper and put it in the garbage." Saints replied.
"Why did she do that" Shorty asked.
"Because I mispelled the word 'challenge'." Saints replied.
"Wow." Film said.
"I know right. But do you guys wanna know what I said to her?" Saints asked.
"Sure." Night replied.
"I told her 'Bitch that's no reason to throw away my fucking test' and I stormed off." Saints said.
"Didn't you get in trouble?" Film asked.
"Oh yeah I did. I got sent to the assistant principal's office and he told me I have lunch detention tomorrow." Saints replied.
Saints started eating his food after taking a couple of breathes. Film finished the hay fries and threw them away. Night finished his lunch and Film looked at him.
"Do you want me to throw that away for you?" Film asked.
"Nah. It's okay I got it." Night replied.
"Well i'm going outside." Sugar said.
"I'm coming with you." Film said.
"I'll be out in a moment." Saints said.
"Yeah i'll be out in a moment as well." Shorty said.
"Night you coming?" Sugar asked.
"Yeah." Night replied.
3:00, walking home. Film was walking home with his earbuds in his ears and listening to his music full blast. Once he arrived at the front door he looked at the windows to see if anypony was home. He unlocked the door with his spare key and went inside the house. He saw his little brother named 'Craft' looking around in the living room. Film completely forgot that his little brother had today off. Film started to head for his stairs.
"Thank you for helping Film!" Craft yelled.
"I just got home and I don't even know what your doing." Film said.
"I expect you to help me when i'm looking for the tv remote!" Craft yelled.
"But how was I supposed to know that you were looking for the tv remote? Didn't you see me just walk in the door?" Film asked calmly.
"Come help me you jerk!" Craft yelled.
Film sighed and started looking under the couch cushions. Film found the remote and he put back the couch cushions and gave the remote to Craft.
"There happy?" Film asked.
"You don't have to be rude." Craft said.
"But I wasn't being rude." Film said softly.
"Thank you now goodbye." Craft said.
Film went upstairs and shut his door. "It's okay. After tonight you won't have to feel anymore pain." Film thought to himself. Film heard the door open from downstairs and he went to go see who it was. His mom just got home.
"How was work?" Film asked.
"It was good." Film's mom replied.
All of a sudden Craft started to cry. Film's mom went to Craft.
"What's the matter Craft?" Film's mom asked.
"I was looking for the remote and I asked Film for help but he yelled at me and we finally found the remote but I feel really bad when he did that." Craft said.
"Film get down here!" Film's mom yelled.
Film walked downstairs and looked at his mother.
"What have we talked about?" Film's mom asked.
"Not to yell at Craft and just help him." Film said.
"And what did you do?" Film's mom asked.
Film looked at Craft and Craft smiled. Film put his head down and sighed.
"I yelled at him. But I helped him." Film said.
"That's nice but there's a nicer way than yelling." Film's mom said.
"I'm sorry it won't happen again." Film said.
"I'm going to my room. I hope you two will make up." Film's mom said as she walked out of the living room. Craft had a huge smile on his face.
"I guess you'll help me next time." Craft said.
"I'm going upstairs Craft." Film said softly.
Film went upstairs with his head down. Once he got in his room he pulled out some paper and a pencil. He put the items under his pillow on his bed. A few hours later Film's parents and brother left the house and he quickly ran downstairs into his parents bedroom to get a bottle of vodka. Then, he went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of painkillers. He ran upstairs and pulled out a piece of paper and started writing in it.
Dear Night
If your reading this it means I finally did it, I killed myself. I can finally be happy. I just want you to know that you've always been a great friend and I want you to know that you are very smart. You did nothing wrong for me to do this. This has been my own decision and I wanted this to happen for years and I finally did it. When your at my grave make sure to play my favorite song.
Love, Film maker.
Film put the piece of paper on his right and pulled out another piece of paper and started writing in it.
Dear Saints
You are fun to be around. I've always looked forward to seeing you. You've kept so many secrets and we've always kept each others secrets. But you remember when we shared vodka together and you listened to me throughout the whole night. Thank you for always being there. I'm sorry I never told you that I was suicidal and I'm sorry that I had to leave you and everypony else. You never did anything wrong. It was always me. I just wanted you to know.
Love, Film maker.
Film put the note on top of the other one and pulled out another piece of paper and started writing.
Dear Shorty
You didn't do anything. I'm telling you this because we might have fought a lot but we've always found someway to make it up for each other. We have had fun times together but honestly. I always wanted this. I want to know what it is like to be loved again. I'm sorry I had to leave you ponies. But I couldn't do it anymore.
Love, Film maker.
Film started to wipe tears away from his eyes. He put the note on top of the others and pulled out another piece of paper.
Dear Sugar
You have done some crazy things before. But I think it's only because you never had anyone to impress. I know that your not comfortable being alone like I was. But it's okay. I always enjoyed the times we had together. I'm sorry I had to leave you ponies but I can't stand it anymore. I want to be loved. This is why I did it. I'm sorry. You didn't do anything to cause my suicide. It's just how I am.
Love, Film maker.
Film maker started to cry even more he quickly put the note on the others so he didn't get it wet. He put his head in his hooves for ten minutes. Once he was done he pulled out another piece of paper and started to write in it.
Dear family
I want to leave you. I can't live like this anymore. I don't know if you guys love me. You've always took Craft's side and always blamed me for when something bad happens. He always got away with everything because I was still around. I love him but I can't stand not being loved. I want my love and none of you have given it to me. So this is why I took my own life. I'm sorry.
Love, Film maker.
Film put the note on top of the others. He opened up the bottle of vodka and took a sip. He looked at the full bottle and smiled.
"My last drink." Film said to himself.
He pulled out the bottle of painkillers and opened the top. He poured a hoof full of pills and put it in his right hoof after putting down the bottle of vodka. He put all the pills in his mouth at once and quickly grabbed the vodka and started chugging it down. He stopped because he choked on one of the pills for a second.
"Fuck that hurt." Film said to himself.
He looked at the bottle of pills and saw that there were thirteen more pills left. He pulled two out and swallowed them and then took a drink from the vodka. "No more crying at night." He thought to himself. He pulled out six and put them all in his mouth and drank some more vodka. "No more hatred coming towards me." He thought to himself. He pulled out three more. "No more thinking about doing it and no more blaming me for everything." He thought to himself. He pulled out the last two and swallowed them quickly. He felt himself getting dizzy and he wanted to lay down. He grabbed the notes and held them close. He laid his head on his pillow and slowly closed his eyes. The last thoughts he had was. "No more hatred. No more crying and no more blaming me. I love you guys but I want to be loved again. Maybe in my next life i'll be loved for being myself. Maybe someone will love me even if I do make mistakes". His eyes were almost closed. He smiled and finally shut his eyes. With the warm thoughts of someone loving him.
Written by: Cameron.
Inspired by my thoughts.
Author's Note
Real story. I go to school and get treated like shit everyday. I come home and get treated like shit everyday and night. Is there no end to this. My friends might have figured out that I have low self-esteem but I don't think they can ever make up the love that my parents have destroyed years ago. Hope you guys enjoy and i'll make sure to live long enough to make many more stories. At least i'll be known for something before I die. Also the songs are real. The band name is 'Hollywood Undead' They make songs so they can try to prevent kids from committing suicide. The songs on here are called 'This love, This hate' 'Believe' and 'Outside' You guys will probably like 'Outside' the most. Hope you guys enjoyed.
