The Canterlot Minstrel Show

Two aspiring young looking unicorns traveling about the countryside, their hooves clopping along the cobblestone path until their steps were softened by the transition to a clearly poorly maintained dirt trail.

The husband said to his wife “My dear, I do believe this is a fine day for a walk through the country. It would be nice to appreciate the simpler life of toiling in the fields all day alongside people of a similar intellect, oh ha!”

The wife replied rather optimistically “Oh honey, I am quite sure these, ahem, ‘folks’ as they prefer to be called are quite illustrated in the general fields of mathematics and language, perhaps not the same as you or I, yet I am quite positive they are educated.”

“I may appreciate your optimism but why don’t we demonstrate the folly of your assumption my dear. Verily there is one of those sad workers in the road, hopefully smoothing out the track for the presence of someone of the higher breeding.”

And so they approached a farm working earth pony whose hat kept the sun out of his face, although the hat looked as though it were picked apart by some ferocious insect or other manner of creature. The wife quickly approached and then tearfully fell backwards exclaiming “Oh my, what is that stench!”

The pony dropped his tool and quickly set his ruffian hooves on the startled lady and set her back upright, though his smell continued to knock her off her balance.

“Well ma’m I dun rekkin’ dat dang ol’ acta filly foolery ain’t gonna do ya’ much gid!” he shouted at her, beads of vile liquid coming from his mouth and splashing the face of the proper unicorn lady. This atrocious behavior did not stop as the very smell of what was left of the pony’s decayed teeth sent the lady reeling back to her husband.

The husband quickly got between his life partner, the pony who he loved so much, and defended her. Though, being a gentlecolt, he was obligated to attempt to resolve the situation peacefully. “Now see here you rapscallion!” he announced, holding his hoof out to shame the foolish pony.

This turned out to be a mistake, however, when the pony grabbed him by the hoof and nearly shook his whole body up and down, misinterpreting the gesture as a greeting. “Well fancy meeting sum city folks! What brings you to me n’ mines pert of da road!”

The poor gentlecolt managed to slip through the firm grasp of the lowly wretch and held his own hoof whilst howling in pain. This however did not deter the terrible creature and instead elicited a smile. “Well how about that, we be habbin’ ourselbs a good ol’ fassin’ hoedown! Too bad my one eyed, five hooved cousin ain’t hur, udderwize we wud have ourselbs a nice wedded couples’ dance! Oh well!” And with this crude statement the filthy creature set to dancing what is colloquially known as a ‘jig’ which stunned the married couple before it. The wife looked to the husband who continued to yell in pain, and motioned for the two of them to escape whilst the muddy cretin was distracted.