The Canterlot Minstrel Show

The two unfortunate unicorns of such higher standing were now reduced to an unsavory level of near death, coughing up water and straining muck from their clothes as they clambered back onto shore. They were alive, yet still left in peril as they discovered that they were deep in the void of some uncharted forest, the untamed wild lands to which has led the demise of even the bravest of ponies.

“Oh dear!” The husband exclaimed “We are utterly lost!”

Yet the wife charged onwards. “Not for long honey: for if we persevere we will be sure to come to a settlement of civilized unicorns.”

“No civilized unicorn would dare to trek into this bruise upon Equestria.” Said the husband as he collected his composure and following his wife into the thick brush of untamed land.

Their journey had been rather cut short as they approached the sounds of tribal music playing. In unison, they looked at one another unsure of what to expect, yet continued and came upon what appeared to be a primitive settlement of lean-tos circled around an absurdly large pot which stood taller than even the princess. Gathered around the pot were the inhabitants of this blight to Equestria, a group of zebras who stared at the uninvited guests. The zebras were better cleaned than those who they group had met previously and they courteously ceased their incessant noise, though this is where their ties to civilization ended as they continued to stare at the two adventurers.

One of the eldest, steadying herself upon a gnarled root, made her way between the zebras and the unicorns and began to speak.

“Come travelers, we welcome you. Pardon us, our flavored stew. It appears you two are hurt; take a seat upon the dirt. Our remedies shall stop your pain, and cause your wounds in time to wane. “

And with this the group parted slightly to allow a spot near the cauldron to which the couple gladly took their seat. Afterwards their cuts from their previous encounter were covered with ointments of herbs and potions were drizzled over their scrapes which made the abrasions simply disappear as though they had never existed.

As this continued to occur, the wife looked towards the elder and asked “We thank you for your hospitality madam, and it is so wonderful to see such well mannered ponies in a place as this. We do not have much in the way of bits; though please allow us to repay you.”

“No repayment do we need. Simply heal at your own speed. We will gladly accommodate to ensure that you both are feeling great.”

Despite this, the husband was still perplexed by this unfounded generosity and spoke “There must be a catch, so what is it?”

The rest of the zebras gathered around the two, surrounding them with grins of horrifying blackened and yellowed teeth, led by the initial smile of the eldest. “Meat is not a thing to waste, and suffering leaves it a horrid taste. Tiredness to your heads the elixirs gave, and sleep shall strike you like a wave. While you’re still awake, make one last wish. For now we shall feast upon your flesh.”

The two ponies then fell limp to the Equestrian floor, though the wife managed to utter before her consciousness was fully robbed of her “The Princess shall come” and then was asleep without further incident. Afterwards the group hoisted and heaved the two ponies into the cauldron and began to cook.

Just then Princess Celestia appeared and destroyed the veil of darkness with rays from the glorified star. The light cast upon the soil bringing innocent life as the zebras bowed in submission to their leader from beyond their home. The two pure unicorns were hoisted out of the pot by the use of Celestia’s magic and set upon the ground as she herself stood by them and looked about her subjects dismissively.

“You all disappoint me.” She began, her voice booming throughout the ink-like blackness of the forest, frightening off what few miniscule beasts which were not victimized by the insatiable hunger of the forest’s equine inhabitants. “I have given you the wondrous life of harmony with the world, a closer connection than other ponies could believe. Yet you have taken this gift and used it as a weapon, making these woods your territory and murdering all life that enters. However, I shall not punish any of you, for you warrant your own punishment by simply existing, and so I shall take my leave with those of my subjects who have remained loyal to me.” And so she rose upwards hefting along the two drowsy bodies of the innocents, leaving the brutish cannibals behind.

The two awoke several hours later in a hospital in Canterlot, home at last among their intellectual and well mannered peers. With a yawn and a stretch, they both clambered out of bed and gained their balance, approaching each other ashamedly.

“Well.” So began the wife. “I do believe that I have learned that at times we are given the instincts to judge ponies based on their appearance for a very good reason for the sake of our safety, and I shall use this knowledge in the future.”
The husband smiled and concurred “And I have learned that I should not underestimate even the most unworthy of villains, as they may be more sinister than one may imagine.” To this, they both nodded in agreement and took their leave of the hospital.