Celestia and the Mysterious Red Button

by Word Worthy

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Philomena, Comedy, Random, Discord
Length: 14958

One night, an odd, little red button randomly appears in the Princess' mail. What could it possibly be for?

Some nights can be exceptionally weird. Especially when a random box arrives in Princess Celestia's mail, with no return address. Inside, lies a shiny little red button.

What's it for? What does it do? Who sent it? Where did it come from? Is it some supernatural world-destroying weapon, or a magical artifact that grants wishes? Who cares? Why don't you just press it and find out!!

Published 2013-09-01 04:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-16 01:09:07 UTC

You Pressed It, Didn't You?

“Are you all right my sister? You still don’t look so well... Perhaps we should get you to your bedchambers, and I’ll deal with this dangerous button...device...thing...” Luna’s voice was slowly becoming sharper in Celestia’s mind. As soon as the older Princess’ eyes began to regain focus on the world around her, her mind became alert, as if a fog had been cleared in her consciousness.

Seeing her sibling regain her faculties once more that night, Luna released her from her winged grip. “I... Perhaps... No. This button thing is going to require two alicorns to deal with. I don’t trust our guards to be able to handle it, Luna. I mean, look at all the mishaps they’ve caused alrea...”

The Sun Princess’ eyes widened as Luna moved out of the way, revealing the latest wave of chaos brought about by the mysterious button. “Oh you’ve got to be kidding me...” Celestia finished with her jaw dropping open.

Whereas the previous button activation had changed the gender of half the guards in the room to mares, everypony was now turned into pink, fire-breathing chickens.

Silver and gold armor, spears as well, were all strewn around, abandoned on the floor. Their original owners were now strutting across and around them, cackling and squawking in a stupid way only chickens could. A few of the chickens were bigger than the others, and were so frightened, they were hiccuping green magical fire high into the air, much to Philomena’s distress. The elegant scarlet and orange-plumed phoenix was somehow free of her cage.

“Who on earth released Philomena?!” Celestia inquired, to nopony in particular. Luna shrugged her forelegs helplessly. Celestia looked towards Luna, her gaze fierce and dangerous. “Did Discord free her in this chaos? Discord, GET OVER HERE!” The furious alicorn scanned the throne-room-turned chicken coop for the Draconequus. Where he had originally stood, there was now only a random top hat and discarded gold-rimmed monocle. A pile of bits laid scattered around and beneath the gentlemanly attire.

“Tia, I suspect Discord is... currently not the Discord we know right now. Perhaps Philomena’s cage was likewise turned to bits upon the second activation with our fine chandeliers.”

Celestia held a hoof to her chin. “Remind me to have new chandeliers installed after this, the old ones fashioned by those children at the Canterlot orphanage were tacky anyways.”

Suddenly, Luna’s eyes assumed a strange twinkle, and she stretched her wings out to her sides, taking to hovering in the air. “Come little children, I’ll take thee away...” She sang dreamily. “Into a land, of enchantment...”

Celestia was looking at the Princess of the Night as if she had just turned into a Changeling drone. Luna shook her head violently, snapping out of some weird state of mind. “Lulu...?”

“Umm, oops.” She then recalled what her older sister had just said, some comment about chandeliers... “TIA! Now is not the time to be thinking about Castle decor! Focus my sister, focus!”

“Ugh... Right. I’m sorry, so many things on my mind.” Princess Celestia cleared her throat. “I understand that you just told me the note’s wording changed?”

The message from the Button’s box floated up to sisters’ view, carried through the air by Luna’s telekinesis. “Indeed. Behold!”

YOU PRESSED, IT DIDN’T YOU?

To whom it may concern. You must be absolute dolts! It does not matter how shiny it is, you MUST NOT press it anymore times!! You’re lucky we’re all still alive after all the previous activations. Consider this your one and final warning! Do not listen to its voices in your head, and do not, DO NOT, leave it to anyone else to guard.

P.S. Don’t try throwing it out anywhere, either. It will always find its way back.

Luna crinkled her muzzle in frustration. “Dammit! I was prepared to just toss it off the mountain, as mentioned before. What are we to do with it then, Tia?”

Issuing a loud sigh, Celestia shrugged at the situation as well, then looked back towards her Royal Guards, now reduced to panicking poultry. “Well, for starters...” Celestia ignited her horn, and formed a new cage around her distressed pet. She then levitated the cage towards her, Luna, and the throne. Philomena gave a pleasant chirp of relief as she was reunited with her owner. The sun alicorn then stuck her muzzle through the cage bars. “Ahh... Did you miss mommy?” The phoenix nuzzled her head against her owner’s nose, hooting affectionately.

“Yes, yes little one, I know sharing a room with Discord can be trying and quite frankly, disturbing. But, only you can keep spying on him for me while I sleep.” Philomena reeled away in discomfort as her mistress’ normally serene face adopted a rather suggestive smirk. Princess Luna rolled her eyes, familiar with that whole sorted affair.

Setting the cage down on her throne, Celestia then levitated the Button from the ground to the floor at their hooves. Luna cringed away from the powerful device almost instinctively. The Sun Princess could already here the seductive voices echoing from the shiny button, straight into her brain.

Shiny...

Cake...

Shiny...

Chocolate...

Shiny...

“Just one bite...” Celestia murmured, absently-minded. Luna stomped a hoof into the floor violently, jolting her sister out of her stupor. Celestia shook it all out from her mind, threw the button a look of pure loathing, and formed a magical shield bubble around the insidious little device. “And now that Philomena is back where she belongs, It’s time to keep this thing under guard, as the note instructed the first time.” Celestia said, finally responding to Luna’s question moments ago.

This caused Luna to frown in concern as she regarded their poor guards, who were still running around as chickens. “What about our guards? How will we get them back to their proper forms, only Discord alone has the power to reverse something as powerful as, as that thing...”

She waved her hoof angrily at the Button. “And now he’s randomly been turned into currency! The irony, Tia, the irony!”

It was then, that the shield Celestia just cast,collapsed when the Princess got distracted by one of the panicking Royal Pink Chickens. The imploding force of the shield spells’s collapse acted on the button. Inevitably, the device was triggered once again tonight.

“TIA! NO, WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!” Luna bellowed in the Royal Voice, fearing the possible destruction of the entire known universe. Celestia cringed, taken aback at the strength of Luna’s Thu’um, I mean... uh, Royal voice, yeah that’s it.

Fortunately, Luna’s fears were unfounded. Instead of the possible destruction of everything she knew, two pony-shaped figures began to warp into the room. At the same time, all the guards were restored to their proper states, gender included. The stallions breathed sighs of relief, as they moved to retrieve their lost armor and weapons. Oddly enough for now, Discord remained a pile of money amidst Victorian-Aged nobleman’s clothing. Meanwhile, just now coming into focus, the warping shapes were revealed to be...of all unicorns...Twilight Sparkle.

Standing before the Princesses now, was Twilight and....Guylight?

The first, resembled the normal Twilight, but looked ten years older, in her thirties. The second pony, was what could only be Twilight if she were a stallion. Both wore matching brown turn-of-the-century business suits with black ties. The male Twilight sparkle had a miniature blackboard around his neck that had a chart reading, ‘Heads’ and ‘Tails’ with thirteen tally marks on the ‘Heads’ section, whilst the older female Twilight held a platter with a six pointed star design, bearing two silver coins, smaller than bits.

“What is this?” Luna inquired of the pair of lavender unicorns, completely dumbfounded.

“Twilight? What are you...you two... doing here?” Celestia asked as well.

The Twilights smiled knowingly at the alicorn Princesses. “You pressed the button didn’t you?” Male Twilight asked.

“Of course, how couldn’t they? It’s so shiny!” Female Twilight added, smiling at her companion.

“Princess Celestia, tell you what...” Male Twilight began.

“You take these coins, and flip them.” Female Twi continued.

“Heads, something pleasant happens.” Male Twi followed.

“Tails, something completely random, good or bad occurs.” Female Twilight finished.

Celestia and Luna looked at each other uncertainly. “Go, ahead and try it. Your alternate doubles already have, and are about to do it anyways.” The male Twilight declared.

“Alright.” Celestia said simply, fixing her eyes on the silver coins with determination. She wrapped the first coin with her magic aura.

The Twilights beamed at the Princess of the Sun expectantly. “Heads? Or tails?” They said simultaneously. Celestia flipped the coin with her telekinesis.

It landed on heads.

Upon the coin’s ‘ding’ sound as it hit the surface of the platter the female Twilight was holding, the Button on the ground activated itself. In a torrent of released energy, a mountain’s worth of bubble wrap dropped down upon the Throne Room floor, burying the guards up to their chest in the fun packaging material. Luna, unable to control herself, squealed with delight, and dove into the mounds, her wings completely outstretched, propelling her along.

Celestia face-hoofed. Sighing, she turned back to the Twilights, who were still smirking their clever, know-it-all smirks.

“Second go...” Male Twilight said with glee.

“What will it be?” Female Twilight inquired.

Celestia flipped the second coin with her magic. She watched with baited breath as the coin flipped through the air, in seemingly slow motion.

Outside, as the world progressed by supernaturally slowly, Pinkie Pie floated past a window at a considerably fast speed, waving and grinning at nopony in particular as she passed by, the balloons tied to her waist carrying her through the cool, night breeze to (and from) parts unknown.

Back inside the Throne Room, the coin was nearly towards the surface of the bronze-colored platter held by the Female Twilight. The Princess of the Sun had her eyes glued to the coin as it made its descent. She dared not blink, for fear of missing the result. Everything hanged on this. The possible fate of the world, of normalcy, of sanity, and proper decor and fashion sense, all hung in the balance.

Finally, the coin made its mark with a ring as it settled on the tray.

It was tails.

World Warping Extravaganza

After what seemed like an eternity, time returned from its near stand still.

"T...Tails?" Celestia murmured, dread welling up in her gut. Nearby, still fully engrossed in the mountain of enticing bubble wrap, Luna paid no attention to the outcome of the coin toss. Still beaming at her, the Twilight Twins stared at the Princess of the Sun as she began looking around the throne room, expecting disaster at any second.

"Oh dear," Male Twilight declared.

"Looks as if its tails this time." Female Twilight concluded.

"Let's see what becomes of this toss then, shall we?" Male Twilight added.

Predictably, the all powerful, ever dangerous red button powered up again, preparing to discharge its pent up magical energy throughout the room. Startled, Luna poked her head out of a pile of bubble wrap, a sheet of it dangling from her muzzle. Seeing the convulsing supernatural device, the dark alicorn's eyes widened. "Oh no. No, not again Tia! You didn't have to take the second coin toss! It was my turn anyhow!"

Celestia returned her sister's gaze with a stricken grimace. "But, who could resist a coin toss Luna? It's so enticing... fifty-fifty chances to win!" She then put her hoof to her chin, as the Luteces, ahem I mean Twilight Twins continued to beam at her with smug amusement. "Remind me to convert the Royal Library into a casino when this is all over, will you Lulu?"

Luna gave her a look that suggested she wanted to shout at her older sibling in the Royal Voice again, but fortunately for hearing lovers everywhere, she did not. Ear drums were left intact, at least for now.

"What, Luna? The Treasury could use the bits, and we all know our little ponies are notorious suckers for falling for silly schemes." Celestia chuckled elegantly. "Like the time when I sent out the Flim Flam brothers to shake up the Apple family's cider monopoly. Shame about that one, how it turned out though."

The younger sister was almost at her wit's end tonight. "Tia, you really need to focus right now!" She pointed a hoof at the well-dressed pile of discarded bits near them that was originally Discord. "Even our most powerful former opponent has been reduced to mere coinage by this foul button's power! The universe is in danger– we need to..." Luna was cut off by the growing disturbance.

Shaking violently and emitting a loud beeping noise, the button was nearly ready to release its next wave. Whatever this one change was, it was going to be a big one. The guards look to each other fearfully and braced themselves, while the Princesses stared at the button on the floor wide-eyed.

Male Twilight cleared his voice, then let out a hardy chuckle. This briefly turned the alicorns' attention away from the charging device. "Well Princesses, it has been an honor making your acquaintances."

"We would stay longer, but we have business in realms elsewhere now." Female Twilight added with a serene smile.

"Do have a good night now, wont you?" Male Twilight said.

"I wish you the best of the luck with the button! Hopefully your world won't be turned to pure nonsensical chaos, adieu!" Female Twilight said in conclusion. With friendly waves, the Twins vanished through a blinding-white tear in reality.

"But... I...We... WAIT! What do you two know about the button?! How can we keep it under control?" Celestia urgently inquired in their wake.

"We have no idea. We just saw an advertisement on the Internet submitted from somepony regarding the modification of the button's effects via coin toss. We didn't have much to do at the moment, and we love coin tosses. Good night to you, Celestia." Female Twilight's now disembodied voice replied. At that, no trace of the Twilight Twins remained. Simultaneously, both of the Sisters' ears fell flat, as the button's incessant beeping reached a crescendo. Slowly turning back to face it, the device finally unleashed itself.

Celestia, Luna, Philomena, and the Royal Guards all collectively flinched as the energy wave passed over them.

At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the Throne Room save for the bubble wrap and bit piles. Then, everything went to Tartarus in a near instant.

"Mother of me..." Celestia whispered while her eyes widened at the new sights taking shape before her. Next to her, Luna similarly gazed at the scene with her mouth agape, her wide cyan eyes spelling out pure disbelief.

Their world as they knew it, was finally being fully warped. The entire atmosphere of the Throne room was becoming distorted and nonsensical, all reality now completely devoid of logic. Objects such as vases, tables, and even guard weapons and armor vanished or morphed into odd, non-objective shapes. All the world was quickly descending into something short of a Vincent Van Gogh painting, such was the sheer chaos.

With a yelp, one of the guards' bodies turned completely stark white. Magical letters hovered above him reading warning: texture file 'royal_guard_7 dot-troll ' not found.

The stallion was not the only thing demonstrating this unexplainable break in reality. One of the throne room columns was replaced with a red exclamation point icon, and above it was a Windows 2000 style error screen reading warning: scenery file 'architecture_canterlot_column_ 01 dot-troll' invalid or corrupted.

"What is this nonsense!" Luna exclaimed, as all the bubble wrap in the room was transformed into old Xbox 360's, each flashing red rings of death. The others were turned into old Sega Dreamcast and Sega CD consoles.

"How insulting!" Luna was now quivering with rage. "Nopony ever found enjoyment in these infuriatingly defective models! Truly we must be doomed then, if this is what the button now summons, my sister!"

In response, the bits piled around the floor turned into Xbox 360 copies of Sonic Freeriders Kinect, Fable III and Ride to Hell. The sight of the horrid games almost made Luna blow a gasket, which would certainly not be the first near-occurrence tonight. She pointed a hoof at the now largely inert button still lying innocently on the ground. "You are truly crossing a line, supernatural...thing. Whatever you are, with Celestia as my witness, you are going to meet a gruesome end before Tia raises the Sun in a few hours! You hear me, villain?"

Naturally, the inanimate object did answer back. Instead, Discord was summarily turned back into his normal self, now wearing the top hat and monocle that had appeared when he supposedly dissolved into money. He smiled at the two. "Celly, Lulu, you wouldn't believe the wonderful adventures I just got back from! Oh, the sights, the smells, the chaos!"

Discord rubbed his goatee with his eagle talon, grinning. His eyes were as a crazy looking as ever. "Houses tied to balloons traveling across entire continents, alien space wars, storms raining food, improper actors portraying and ruining beloved super heroes, celebrities dancing nude and looking like chickens... Oh and did I forget to mention the CHAOS?!" He pulled a strange object out of his hand.

"Care for a souvenir, my dear Luna?" He inquired. The object was a lemon-flavored muffin.

Luna, once again that night, could only stand their and gawk with her mouth agape. Behind Discord, several surfaces were covered in scrawling lines of numerical text, and multiple clones of a single Royal Guard trotted across walls and the ceiling, or floated randomly, defying gravity while their normal guard comrades watched them and the other bizarre sights with abject horror.

Meanwhile, something was going on with Celestia once again. She was standing completely still, not looking at the button this time, but not staring at anything in particular either. Instead, the older Princess was seemingly staring off into space.

"Tia! You need to stop losing attention here, our people need us!" Luna shouted urgently, trying to arouse her sister back to reality from whatever odd fantasy world she had returned to. "Apple boats ship ketchup bootleg chicken running dinosaur feathers." The white-coated alicorn muttered in response. Discord laughed at this, while Luna frowned deeply.

Celestia's normal, beautiful violet eyes had been replaced with static, like on an old television getting no reception. In the middle where her irises would be, a message read 'NO SIGNAL'. "Dubstep, dubstep, dubstep beats skrillex competition ten fold four score and seven years ago pegasus meat pie bomb." Celestia continued her nonsense ramblings. Discord clutched his gut as he rolled across the floor, laughing at humor only a draconequus could comprehend.

Getting up with a loud sigh of amusement, he snapped his fingers and a Direct TV antenna appeared on Tia's head. With a loud electronic 'bwrrrphhhh!' noise, the Sun Princess' eyes returned to normal.

"What the? Discord! What did you do?" Celestia exclaimed.

Discord flashed her a mock hurt look, staring at Celestia with puppy dog eyes. "I merely freed you from mindless oblivion, your very welcome. Now if you don't mind... I think the chaotic button is getting a little out of hand, even for my tastes..." The Draconequus pointed past the sisters to portals that were opening up near the entrance to the room.

Loud dubstep music began to fill the room from unseen speakers, causing the poor guards to cover their ears with their hooves. Dropping their spears again, the weapons' clatter was lost in the resounding chorus of 'wub-wub-wub-wub' that resonated within everypony and everything in the room.

Right at the entrance, three portals opened up. It would seem this most recent activation had a much longer duration of effect, still shaping the world minutes after last being pressed.

The first of the portals admitted a horde of Discord clones wearing various gentlemanly and goofy pieces of attire, who all looked to each other and the original draconequus, waving and exchanging catchy pleasantries.

The second let out a grey pegasus mare, who glared at everything in the room with a fierce facial expression and eyes that occasionally rolled around at odd angles. "WHO TOOK MY MUFFIN!" Ditzy Doo roared, her eyes charging up like lasers...wait...lasers?

The third portal, was about to release a true abomination, a second horde. It was a large crowd of  eight and a half-feet tall alicorn monstrosities with generic colors, weird wings, and overly-long horns. The first, a black and red coated stallion, stamped his hoof on the ground over on their side of the portal.

"Equestria, fear not! Your mighty alicorn warrior has arrived to defeat your villains and save your world by instantly befriending everypony and defeating the enemy with one hit!" He declared boldy.

"No ponies, ignore that fool! For I am this land's true savior! All will bow before me or I will leave your pathetic world to ruin!" An pure black-coated mare declared.

"My home dimension is soooo depressing and crappy..." A third alicorn whined.

"LUNA, DISCORD, ONE OF YOU SHUT THAT THIRD PORTAL NOW! THEY MUST NOT CONTAMINATE OUR REALITY!" Celestia roared, using her own Royal Voice for the first time in who knows how long. Combining their magic together, the draconequus and Luna swiftly imploded the portal before any of its contents could escape. Equestria was spared one great threat, but three others still remained. Still resting in its place on the floor, the button radiated a false atmosphere of innocence and indifference. If anypony were to look at it too long, you would hear a voice say 'Why are you staring at me? I'm just a random button. Press me, or bugger off.'

The other two threats also stood before the two alicorns, the draconequus, and the caged phoenix.

Ever enraged, Derpy flared her nostrils, snorted, and ran her hooves threateningly across the marble floor, her laser eyes aglow. Nearby, the Discord copies wandered about, harassing the guardsponies, tripping over the video game debris, and laughing at the button-altered furniture and architecture.

Apparently that was not all. Outside the Castle, a horrendous soprano of screams issued out from the direction of the distant White Tail Woods. The trees were wailing in fright, and uprooting themselves, running towards the East.

Celestia looked from Luna, then to reformed Discord, then back to Throne Room again. "Discord, Luna, I fear this is beginning to truly get out of hand." Dubstep music continued to play, now at a much reduced volume, emphasizing her words.

Rubbing his hands together, Discord chuckled slightly. "Indeedy! The effects of the button have finally left the Castle, I see."

Luna nodded vigorously. "Only we can stop this all, but we must stay focused, and not allow this little evil device to take control of our minds! No matter how shiny, we must RESIST the urge to PRESS IT!"

Castle of Chaos

Celestia, Luna, and Pinkie Pie were nearing their destination as they stood clustered near one another in the cramped confines of one of Morgan Freeman’s magical elevators, graciously provided by Morgan Freeman. It was an interesting few moments, being in the dimension-jumping machine. Interesting turned to unbearable however, after Pinkie Pie’s face began to turn sickly green under her fur from the continuous spinning sensation that the elevator seemed to produce.

“Ooh! I think those were the cupcakes I ate for my after-breakfast snack this morning. You wouldn’t believe how delicious they were, Your Majesties!” Pinkie Pie remarked suddenly, breaking the silence and looking all around the elevator cabin.

Despite being rather dizzy herself, Celestia managed to follow her subject’s gaze. “Oh my, how colorful.” She remarked, giggling slightly.

Luna fussed over her coat and mumbled in frustration, having taken almost the full brunt of Pinkie Pie’s vomit in her fur. Luckily the mystical properties of her flowing mane prevented the rejected cupcakes from gathering there, finding instead a new home on the gilded wall beyond.

“Ugh... Perhaps you mean...” Luna struggled to hold her own lunch down as she spoke. “Yesterday morning, Pinkie Pie. ‘Tis already...past midnight now.”

Pinkie Pie giggled, wiping her muzzle clean. “Oh yeah, you’re right Princess Luna! Silly me.” She pointed at the wall nearest her. “Neat-o, you can even still see the sprinkles in it!” Luna’s stomach had nearly seen and heard enough.

At last, the trio had arrived home. Celestia emerged from the elevator first as it teleported into the throne room with a loud electric cracking noise, clutching her stomach and laughing with an intensity quite uncharacteristic of herself. Pinkie remained inside the elevator, still inspecting the mess. Luna finally exited, staggering out and clutching at her own stomach for a whole another reason.

Laughter from Celestia stretched out across the room, and caught the occupants’ attention. A single occupant approached with a tray in one of their hooves. “Ah, the Princesses have returned, glorious!” The speaker moved the tray in closer so they could all see its contents. “Say, would any of you care to partake of some muffins, or a cupcake with extra sprinkles perhaps?”

Luna finally reached her breaking point, tossing her lunch onto the ground in front of her. Celestia laughed again, pointing a hoof at Luna. The younger sibling glared up at her.

“Hey, this chunk has the same colors as Rainbow Dash’s mane!” Pinkie Pie called out from behind them.

At that point, Celestia ceased her laughter as well. She turned green in an instant and inclined her head, changing the color of the marble floor.

The pony holding the tray sounded offended. “What, is there something wrong with cupcakes?”

By now, Luna had recovered. With a single spell, she cleaned up the entire mess, including the one inside the elevator.

“Aww, darn it! I was just starting to tell which flavor was which, again!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed in disappointment, emerging from the elevator. Celestia retched again at her words, but had nothing left to expel. The elevator, now completely spotless, disappeared back to its home dimension soon after.

Satisfied they had largely resolved the complications of their return, Luna finally took in the sights around her, starting with the pony in front of them. “Unbelievable.” She said in disbelief.

The stallion who had offered them cupcakes and muffins was one of the Royal Guards; emphasis on ‘was’. The guard had traded his helmet for a ridiculous looking pointed cultist cowl, and wore a matching red robe over his body armor. Luna and Celestia then looked up from him and to his surroundings as he left their presence, only to discover a bizarre scene, even when compared to all that had already happened before they vanished.

Discord’s dopplegangers, as well as himself, had ominously vanished, and the dubstep music had stopped playing. Meanwhile, the guard’s fellows were scattered around the room, wandering around with identical robes and trays of cupcakes, or clustered around two central things on either side of the dias where Celestia’s throne was situated. In the Princesses’ absence, they had been performing some ‘redecorating’ at a rapid pace, no doubt aided by the button itself.

Bonfires were lit for no apparent reason in some corners. Banners made of the castle’s window drapes were hastily hung from the high ceiling at various intervals. Each depicted a crudely-made depiction of the red button.

The two groups were kneeling down on their respective sides, chanting and eating sweets. The first focus of their worship appeared to be Philomena, who was in the middle of an altar made from neatly stacked bits. The phoenix hooted down at them in confusion from her perch, which was a small pile of bits haphazardly stacked.

The second group, far more ominously, had the red button in their possession, on an even higher altar mound of bits. Sure enough, they were worshiping it as well.

Luna saw the button at once, and sprinted towards the chanting guards, who were constantly repeating the phrase, “Red Button, shiny, shiny!” Droning in their monotone voices, the brain-addled guards were completely oblivious to her presence, as well as the world around them, it would seem.

In the meantime, Celestia and Pinkie Pie’s attention was diverted by an explosion from the doorway to their side. The real Discord emerged from it, his fur blackened and smoking. He had a wide-eyed, mystified look as coughed up a cloud of ash. “Derpy, finally got her muffin back.” He said simply.

Celestia chuckled uncertainly, still feeling sick from before. “I...I see that, Discord. How are you feeling? Was the button activated again, where are your copies, what happened as we disappeared?”

The earth pony and the alicorn both watched Discord as he sat down awkwardly in the nearest chair, now made of wood once more. He coughed again, then regained his usual demeanor. “Pinkie Pie, would you be a dear and go fetch little old me an ice water of glass, please?”

“Okey dokey!” Pinkie Pie replied, darting out towards the royal kitchens. Several robed guards kept appearing from that direction. They ignored her as she passed, chanting randomly to themselves and holding trays of cupcakes or other various baked goods as they brought them to the two altars.

“Tia, I’d love to play twenty questions, but suffice to say, I’ll be blunt. Let’s see... Ah yes! I'm good, Derpy returned to Ponyville with her muffin and laser vision, my friends all went back home, the guards triggered the button again while trying to un-hear the exquisite music, then everything got all...well, still strange, but not quite so chaotic anymore.”

One of the marble columns next to his chair burst into flames. “Okay, still somewhat chaotic, but nothing grandiose enough to satisfy my tastes.” Discord confessed, winking the flame out of existence.

Discord snapped his fingers, teleporting Pinkie Pie and the glass of water she was carrying to his side. “Thank you, dear! Just what I needed!” Pinkie Pie grinned and cheerfully handed him the glass, which he chugged. The water remained, somehow retaining the shape of the glass. The ice inside also caught fire, before Discord threw it towards a patch of unoccupied floor, where it all promptly exploded.

Luna returned to them, button floating carefully in front of her. “I’ve gotten it. Seeing as how it being pressed is inevitable so long as its here, I’ve given up trying to stop it from being activated anymore.” Her ears flattened. “Clearly, if our world were to be destroyed by its activation, this...thing...would have already done it. It’s had plenty of chances, after all.”

“Cake...?” Celestia began, inexplicably drawing her eyes towards the mysterious device yet again.

“Oh, for the love of!” Luna tsked, containing her anger. “I’ll just press the cursed thing for you, sister.” She rose into the air beating her wings and holding her forelegs up, also raising her tone of voice. Luna couldn’t even believe what it was she was saying. “In fact, anypony who wishes for me to press this from now until dawn, need only say so. Does this not please you?”

“I’d say so!” Pinkie Pie said. “I want to see what this shiny button thing can do!”

“Seems fair to me.” Discord added, rubbing his talon and paw together.

“Cake.” Celestia murmured affirmatively.

With a sigh, Luna landed, then  levitated the button towards herself. She closed her eyes and tensed her body. “Okay, on the count of three. One, two, three!” Luna’s hoof slammed into the polished red surface of the button. The familiar surge of magical energy, now long since old and ominous to Luna, took shape in the air around it, cascading across the castle.

In an instant, all the guards, as well as the throne room decor were all returned to normal. Their cloaks vanished, and the guards wandered about, recovering their spears and then returning to their stations. Many stood warily, teeth gritted, eyes flitting rapidly across the room between each other and the button in Princess Luna’s hoof.

Unfortunately, the world was not restored to normal. The roof of the throne room swiftly vanished, exposing the stars of the night sky and the Moon overhead. The sky also revealed itself to be full of Canterlot’s many pegasi guards, and even ordinary pegasi citizens of the capital. They were flying in random patterns, backwards, some even doing so while upside down.

The pond water in the Canterlot Gardens also burst into flames, too.

Pinkie Pie gasped, along with many of the guards, as trays of gingerbread ponies started hopping out of their places and assumed lifelike forms near Philomena’s pile of gleaming bits.

Soon, an army of sugary sweet ponies stood in a mob of dozens, facing Luna and the others. They were silent, scrutinizing the group with their empty gumdrop eyes and creepy, sugary pastel grins.

Luna was still tensed up, her eyes firmly shut, while Celestia looked back at them. Gingerbread was obviously not cake, but to her, it was still sugar, and would have to do. The alicorn licked her lips in anticipation, while Pinkie Pie mimicked her in a near identical fashion. Discord merely sat and observed the proceedings with a delighted grin. He conjured up an ottoman, a phonograph, and a mini fridge full of Sweet Apple Acres Crystal Cider (TM), then happily reclined his mismatched legs.

When Luna finally did open her eyes a smidgen to see what new horrors her button press might have wrought, she narrowed them. On the phonograph, a vinyl record crudely labeled ‘Mozart’s Requiem, Dies Irae’ quietly played off to the side. “Gingerbread ponies, running amok in Canterlot Castle? I think not. Kindly leave this place, we’ve had far more than enough ‘fun’ for one night.”

Discord made a quiet booing sound off to the side, clutching a bottle of cider. “Why so early? They haven’t even done anything funny yet!”

Luna ignored him, still glaring at the living treats. “I’ll ask again, creatures. Leave now, while we are still in a peaceful frame of mind!”

One of the ginger bread ponies slowly emerged from the mob. Unlike the others, she had something akin to a pointy elf hat on her otherwise mane-less head. “Bite our crunchy brown asses.” She finally said, turning her smile completely upside down to convey anger.

Fury ignited within Luna in a heartbeat. Her eyes assumed a fiery glow, and her voice amplified itself with her magic. Discord’s summoned music player increased its volume as the draconequus himself leaned in, watching with rapt attention. “Very well, sugary fiends from Tartarus. We’ll have it your way, prepare to be annihilated! Sister, Pinkie Pie, our Royal Guards, feast!”

“But your highness, they outnumber us!” One guard cried, shaking and curling up close to his telekinetically wielded spear. Part of the gingerbread pony mob turned to glare at him.

“If the button can summon this intruders, than perhaps it will summon allies as well!” Luna declared, reasoning that any truly sane logic had been ditched hours ago, by this point in the night.

Another button press yielded what Luna had been hoping for. The main door to the throne room began shaking with activity, drawing the gingerbread mob’s attention to it. Five seconds later, the door burst open, admitting a large horde of Pinkie Pie clones, which caused the original Pinkie Pie to look on in with worry and confusion.

“Fun! Fun! Fun!” Was the battle cry as the pink wave descended upon the hapless gingerbread ponies. Celestia quickly joined them, reducing the intruders to mere crumbs in seconds. Shrugging, this world’s Pinkie Pie grinned and eventually joined in. Finally, the Guards too, took part in the phantasmagoric, surreal feast under the moonlight. Luna and Discord observed the event, the latter with interest, the former with impatience.

When the gingerbread ponies finally were no more, Luna looked to the sky, seeing that the pegasi were still restlessly swarming the airways above the Castle. Unsurprisingly, many were wearing their sleep wear. They were evidently unaware that they were sleep flying, or that their rulers were indirectly, and sometimes involuntarily, messing with the fabric of reality like a kitten playing with a ball of yarn.

Case and point, Luna wasted no time preparing herself to activate the button for one final occasion. Having recovered from her stupor by consuming vast amounts of sugar, Celestia noticed what her sister was doing. “Luna, I thought you were adamant about not pressing that thing any more.”

Luna sighed impatiently. “Did you not understand me when you were under the button’s sway? Very well then, I would activate this button to return the pegasi to normal, and in hopes of saving the Treasury money on having to purchase a supper-massive rain tarp in the future.”

“You could paint stripes on the tarp and turn the Castle into a circus!” Pinkie Pie and Discord suggested in unison. Celestia shook her head firmly at that, causing Pinkie’s mane to deflate and Discord to rap his talons on the mini fridge in disappointment.

“Very well, Luna. I’ve pressed it, you’ve already pressed it, even our guards have pressed it at one point or another.” Celestia let out a sigh of her own. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Based on tonight’s track record, Tia, I’d say a lot.” Discord pointed out with a light bout of snickering.

“Enough! We bet on one final press, to fix everything, or come what may.” Her hoof neared the button ever so slowly. As she did so, Pinkie Pie had stumbled upon the box the button had initially arrived in.

Having read the note, she looked up and frowned slightly. “Hey, Your Majesties? I bet whoever sent this button must be super-duper angry right now!”

“Don’t worry Pinkie Pie, I’m sure they’re reasonable people, we’ll be able to sort it out with them when they arrive to collect it in the morning. This is assuming that’s what they had in mind.” Celestia said, turning to her. “Besides...”

“Hmm... They did send the red button to us without any context whatsoever, with a very vague explanation as to why. And...judging by the wording, they did not know entirely who it was they were sending it to.” Discord interjected, hiccuping and setting down another empty bottle at the foot of his seat.

Celestia turned to him with shock and amazement on her face, as Luna’s hoof neared ever closer to the red button. “Discord? I’ve never seen your mind so....logical, before.”

Discord curled his lips into a mischievous smirk. “I know, it’s all the apple cider talking, Tia my dear.”

Finally, Luna’s hoof met the surface of the button, igniting its magic once more, hopefully for the final time that night.

There was not a climatic build up of magic this time. The button instead just unleashed its energy all in one massive pulse, radiating out all across central Equestria. Luna prodded at the ground in satisfaction as she observed the Pegasi breaking off and returning to their homes and guard postings.

Now it was the roof’s turn. Slowly, the top portion of the throne room architecture re-materialized. Brick by brick, it rebuilt and reassembled itself. Everything seemed as if it might finally be restored to normal. That was at least, until the Moon started moving rapidly across the sky off its own accord, without Luna or Celestia’s intervention.

Finale: Return to Sender

“T...Tia?” Luna’s voice was shaky. The Button trembled with power in her right hoof.

“Yes Luna? What is it?” Celestia replied, equally apprehensive. She absentmindedly wiped some crumbs from her lips and muzzle. The jumbled remains of a half-eaten gingerbread pony crumbled under her golden shoes.

“The Sun and Moon can move slowly without us, of course...but is the Moon supposed to move that fast, and in so errant a manner?” Luna queried, casting the edible pointy gingerbread and gumdrop hat in her other hoof aside.

Celestia gulped. “N-no, sister.”

The Moon was moving in a random zig-zag formation across the sky, looking for all intents and purposes like a drunken boulder rolling down a cosmic hillside. The Mare in the Moon crater formation covering much of the lunar surface began shifting about restlessly, inexplicably, before raising a hoof to her mountainous head to control the nausea of her growing dizziness. She glared down from her precarious perch in space at Luna, silently demanding that the alicorn do something. Luna, however was struck speechless and hesitant to act, Celestia as well.

Behind the wayward Moon, the Sun was just beginning to peak above the horizon. It was moving at its slow natural speed without the immense gravitational  influence of its own mistress.

While the Regal Sisters were nearly in panic, wondering how their subjects must surely be reacting to the Button-induced astronomical catastrophe in the making, a certain crowd of pink mares were busy crunching down on gingerbread crumbs. Each Pinkie Pie clone had consumed a vast amount of gingerbread ponies until they suddenly inflated to comically large proportions and floated towards the rebuilt ceiling, before winking out of existence into thin air with loud cracks. Each crack was accompanied by a sharp release of confetti.

Royal Guards, their muzzles also covered in crumbs as well as confetti, winced every time one of the clones vanished. The rumbling from Canterlot Castle’s roof putting itself back together coupled with the night’s events only made the already uneasy stallions more anxious, and the cracking and popping noises were certainly not helping.

Pinkie Pie was curled up on the ground, surrounded by a large mess of crumbs. She clutched at her full stomach, groaning. “No more sweets for a while.” Pinkie murmured weakly.

Between the panicking princesses, Pinkie Pie’s stomachache dilemma, and the exploding Pinkie Pie dopplegangers, Discord was having one heck of a hoot. He sat down in his favorite chair again, sipping apple cider like before. “Ah have diabetes.” He declared in a middle-aged rural accent, recalling an obscure medical commercial he had seen long ago. The final three Pinkie Pie clones vanished simultaneously in a huge torrent of confetti, causing Discord to shoot out cider from his nostrils while he cackled like a nut.

Celestia and Luna took a moment from their fussing over the Sun and Moon to glare at him. Discord shrugged innocently. “What? You have to admit that’s pretty funny.” His phonograph was now emitting static. Discord got up and flipped the entire phonograph upside down. Instead of the track playing again as the draconequus had intended, it offered only more scratchy static. “D’oh, silly piece of junk antique!” Discord grunted and snapped his fingers.

The music player combusted into a cloud of electricity, before disappearing from sight completely. Somewhere in Canterlot at the very same moment, Octavia was screaming as a phonograph appeared upside down on her ceiling, which then fell and crushed one of her tables full of sheet music, along with one of her most prize cellos.  The phonograph, still intact, began playing random audio from unknown sources. “....bzzzzt....Dope!.....bzzt....But that’s not all! Call now, and I’ll double the offer!....and this is my favorite store on the Citadel.....bzzt...The only thing we have to fear is, fear itself!.....bzzt....Spider-Man, Spider-Man, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!...bzzt....Is mayonnaise an instrument?...bzzt.”

“Nay, I see no humor at all.” Luna said dryly, still narrowing her cyan eyes at Discord.

“I see a big mess, one I’ll have to clean up!” Celestia added with distress, sweeping the throne room with her steely gaze. She huffed, tsked, and sighed irritably over each pile of crumbs she laid eyes on.

“Ohh...I think I see dead people,” Pinkie Pie groaned, then her stomach let out a low whine. “...and a bright light....Candy Land?!” She set her head down on the marble.

Luna rolled her eyes at Pinkie Pie’s murmurings, and looked again at the Button in her grasp. Since it was practically dawn now and the bizarre night over with, the Princess was wondering when and how the Button would finally....

“Luna, look! A new note has appeared!” Celestia exclaimed, pointing in a particular direction. Towards it, a Royal Guard had a piece of paper randomly and crudely scotch-taped to his gold-gilded breastplate. “My little pony, if you will, please?”

The guard hesitated awkwardly, finally realizing it was on him. Blushing, with his ears flattened, the stallion dropped his spear, removed the note from his chest, and meekly handed it to Princess Celestia. As he walked away, Discord and the sisters noticed a second mysterious paper–this one super glued–on the guardspony’s flank, where his armor covered his cutie mark.

The note said: Stop right there criminal scum!

Celestia handed the first note to Luna, who read it aloud for all to hear. “It’s now dawn. And you all managed to press the button well over ten separate times, despite my most clear of warnings. Congratulations, you damn near doomed us all with the shiny potentially history-erasing button! Well guess what, herein lies the good news, we’re coming to get it back. Expect us any moment now. P.S., you all better not be that giant talking milkshake, the mentally-challenged meat guy, and the smart ass floating bag of french fries with the goatee and their fat obnoxious neighbor, Carl. I’ve had it up to here with those guys’ antics over the years, and them getting something like the Button would be the final straw for me. What in the world? Just what kind of being sent us this accursed red button in the first place?” Luna gawked at it, following only the portions before the P.S.

“No telling. At least they’ll be here soon, and we then we can finally put this...erm...interesting...night behind us.” Celestia declared with a sigh of relief. The Royal Guards sighed as well, wiping the nervous sweat from their brows and muzzles.

Their reprieve was short lived, for their Princess had a new order for them. “My Royal Guards, would a few of you be so kind as to go out to the grand front entrance of the Castle to make sure the smiling sun mailbox is furnished with shiny arrows pointing to it, and that the uncool kitten one is likewise moved into the thick shadows of the battlements, please?”

From nowhere in particular, Rainbow Dash, unseen but heard clearly, shouted “So not cool!”

“Hey Rainbow!” Pinkie Pie called out sweetly, looking around randomly and waving. She had instantly snapped out of her stomachache and jolted back upright, as healthy and vibrant as can be.

“What’s up Pinkie!”

A Royal Guard saluted briskly. “Uh, will do, your highness!” He and three others cantered away with haste.

Just as the guards disappeared through the throne room’s main entrance, the Button began shaking and whirring loudly in Luna’s hoof. She squeaked involuntarily and threw it to the ground. No sooner had the strange device made contact with the polished marble floor, a great fiery portal opened.

Loud sounds, the sounds of an engine, reached out from the portal, then a large black armored truck zoomed out and into the expansive room. It crushed the bits of gingerbread as it went, leaving Celestia further ticked off at the mess. Guards yelped and rolled out of the way as the large vehicle came to a stop in front of the Princess’ throne.

Discord and Pinkie Pie both stared at the vehicle curiously. “Hmm, well what do you know? Black is a fashionable color whilst traversing the multiverse. How tickling!” Discord said.

“Ooh! It looks like an ice cream truck, but cooler!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Luna was craning her neck to get a good look at the side of the truck. Alongside a logo of three symmetrical arrows pointing towards the center of a circle, the truck had words written in an official, professional font, emblazoned there that read thusly: SCP Foundation: Keeter-Class Containment and Control Task Force #117

“Search Contain and Protect!” Celestia cried out angrily, following her younger sister’s gaze. “I should have known they’d have something to do with this! Why can’t they supervise their own dangerous charges instead of dumping them here without warning?”

Discord poofed into a medical diagram of a unicorn’s skull and brain, then floated next to her shoulder. “That’s right Tia, give them a piece of your mind!” He chuckled, before reverting back to normal.

The white-furred alicorn grumbled and rolled her eyes, rubbed at the ground for a second, then started to glare sternly towards the tinted windshield of the truck, which was sitting still with its engine running idle. “Well, what are you waiting for, SCP? Get out and collect your precious Red Button!” Celestia levitated the Button up and waved it at the truck.

Simultaneously, the beefy metal doors on both sides of the truck opened up, and blaring heavy metal music emitted from inside.

The occupants each stepped out. The driver’s four hooves thudded loudly on the marble, and the passenger’s furry, paw-like feet padded to the ground on the other side. The metal music stopped playing. Both the beings’ appearances caused the Princesses to gawk.

“Oh no...” Celestia muttered. “Tirek and Scorpan, of all people.”

“You two, from that one other realm of ponies? Huzzah! How terrific, tis now an exquisite day with the both of you here.” Luna’s regal voice was positively dripping with sarcasm. Were it any thicker, the sarcasm would pool down and melt a hole through the floor.

Tirek folded his massive arms at his chest, and huffed deeply. Scowling, the red and black centaur sized the two glaring alicorns up with his yellow feline-like pupils, and when he noticed Discord, the scowl inverted into a menacing grin, thanks to his fangs. “Ah, Discord. A pleasure to see a powerful old bringer of chaos such as yourself out and about from imprisonment once more. It’s been too long.” His voice was almost dramatically deep and baritone, as befitting his figure.

Discord’s eyes twinkled with mirth as he walked up to Tirek and the duo did an elaborate handshake. Scorpan, brown-furred with a head similar to a crocodile’s, folded his arms and fidgeted his large bat wings impatiently as he watched them both.

‘My dear Tirek, I haven’t seen you since we pulled that prank off on the Sisters’ parents! Remember? That one time with the windigos!” Discord proclaimed, chuckling and reminiscing fondly.  “Why, it must have been at least...” Both Celestia and Luna intensified their glares at the mention of their mother and father. Scorpan shrugged at them apologetically, to little effect.

“Three thousand years!” Tirek finished, huffing out air ominously again. While he and the draconequus continued to chat, Scorpan treaded on over to the Princesses, and promptly scooped the Red Button off the ground with as much care as if it had been a nuclear warhead. He then set it into its original crimson-colored cardboard container, then set it down gently at his feet. With this action, the Button’s magics were negated, causing Luna’s Moon to come to rest in a normal location for the morning.

The Mare in the Moon made a motion resembling a sigh of relief, then ceased moving altogether, returning to her normal self as well. Luna felt a great burden lift from her shoulders as this all happened. The feeling was almost enough to make her smile.

Scorpan gave them a stern but rather flustered eye as he held the device out in front of him. He could tell by their fierce gazes, that the sisters wanted answers from him. Now.

“Yes, yes. I was the one who was clearly sending you the messages, all three of them.” He stated stridently.

“What of the fourth, the note attached to one of our poor guards?” Luna asked.

“Tirek.”

“How about the alternate reality versions of Twilight Sparkle...Pinkie Pie’s fifth note that got her involved, and the internet posting that attracted the Twilights and possibly the alicorn hordes as well?”

Scorpan released an almighty sigh. “Tirek...”

“...Tirek’s.....trolling.” The word left a nasty taste in his mouth.

Tirek had been waiting eagerly for this. “Indeed. For I am Lord Tirek, Transdimensional Troll Extraordinaire!” He exclaimed. For demonstration, Tirek snapped his fingers and then without warning Twilight and Spike appeared on the floor next to them, causing Celestia’s jaw to drop comically. Both were sleeping peacefully in their beds, somehow unawoken by their sudden teleportation. Tirek leaned down, drew a deep breath, then roared at the top of his lungs. The unicorn and the young dragon jolted awake in shock. Before they could say or do anything, the dark centaur snapped his fingers again and the pair were teleported back to their home, while he guffawed intensely.

He finally collected himself to speak again, after an entire minute. “Behold, I even have my own business cards!” Tirek said, eliciting laughter from Pinkie Pie and Discord, the former of the two bouncing up and down as Tirek randomly tossed little cards from the pouch around his neck, with his face in a professional expression stamped on them, in every direction.

“And the Button? What does the SCP have to say for themselves in regards to carelessly teleporting this...Keeter-class object....into any random world? Well?” Celestia interjected, quickly recovering from Tirek’s prank and interrogating Scorpan again.

“In the interests of the Foundation, let me start by saying Tirek is absolutely not a part of our organization” Scorpan showed them a badge, bearing the same circle and arrow logo as featured on his APC-like truck. “But given his and Discord’s nature as universe-traveling entities, Tirek and similar beings are useful as traveling guides and independent contractors in the SCP’s relentless quest to hunt down and contain the various dangerous artifacts and-or creatures that plague the multiverse. Unfortunately, being an indie, Tirek is beyond my control. And believe you me, when the Higher Ups assign us agents contractors like him, we’re stuck with em’ too.”

“You still didn’t answer my question entirely.” Celestia asserted. If she had arms, they’d be folded right now.

“Ah yes. As my first message of instructions said, the Button is very powerful, and very, very dangerous, and the message and box were already pre-included with the Button for this very type of emergency. You see, fact is that your’s truly over here,” Scorpan motioned towards Tirek, who chuckled maliciously. “Decided to have some fun and without warning, teleported the button out to some random world, Equestria in this case, to wreak havoc while we had its containment chamber open for routine maintenance procedures. On top of that, it took us roughly six hours to discover where Lord Tirek had sent the button to, hence the instruction to guard it for the night.” He explained.

Scorpan brightened up a little as he surveyed the area around him.  “At least we now know how powerful it can be at various times, maybe this wasn’t as big a calamity as I had feared.”

“I see, very interesting. So this is all Tirek’s doing?” Luna’s face was mild as she stared at Tirek and Discord. “What of Morgan Freeman’s involvement?”

Mentioning of the name drew an astonished “huh” from Scorpan. “Freeman? You actually managed to get a god from another ‘verse involved in our great Button Dilemma?”

“Indeed.”

“So, aren’t you going to punish Tirek for the threat he put our kingdom under for the entire night, or aren’t you?” Celestia demanded.

The furry winged humanoid could only shrug helplessly. “Like I said, he’s beyond my control and he’s not SCP, so we can’t discipline him like you can Discord.”

“Hey, are you guys also the Ponies in Black?” Pinkie Pie wondered.

“No, that’s a separate organization for handling non-supernatural entities.” Scorpan folded his arms again, his reptilian face pulled into a frown. “Plus, they’re breakfast-stealing jerks.” He mumbled as an afterthought.

Tirek ended his conversation with Discord and trotted over to Scorpan’s side. “Well everyone, I believed we’ve...I’ve had my fill of chaotic fun for a good century or two at least. Come, Scorpan, let us be off to HQ to return our little shiny red friend here. I’ve got a date with the Goddess Circe this evening, and she’s not a fan of being stood up!” The centaur clapped his burly hands. “Chop-chop, let’s go, little SCP agent!”

Scorpan expressed his deepest apologies to the pair of partially flabbergasted alicorns, then begrudgingly grabbed the red box containing the Button, and jumped into the passenger’s seat of the truck. “Your Highnesses, they don’t pay me enough for this job.” He then disappeared into the cabin. “Wait, wasn’t there supposed to be bubble wrap in this too?”

Luna blushed as Scorpan closed his door. She still had one of the sheets–still not popped and protected from the button’s effects–hidden and sheltered under the folds of her left wing.

“Tirek! Aren’t you even going to apologize for this...nonsense you caused?” Celestia called out.

Metal groaned as the driver side’s door paused halfway from closing. Tirek leaned and peered out, about to crank up his music again. He gawked at her, then scanned around at the piles of dessert crumbs, lingering confetti, and whatever other tell-tale signs of the Button’s antics still remained in the throne room. “Apologize for what? You mean for what terrible cleanliness standards you Equestrians seem to keep around here?” He quipped.

Before Celestia could deliver a Royal lambasting rebuke, Discord and Tirek conversed again, cutting her off prematurely.

“Well now, you have fun back out in the multiverse, you old dog, you.” Discord said, giving his goodbyes..

“See you around, Discord. Take care and tell Chryssie and ol’ Sombra, I said hi..”

The draconequus nodded conspiratorially as Tirek got into the driver’s seat of the black behemoth of a truck. “I’ll be sure to send a mountain of you’re business cards to their cells in Tartarus!” He waved as the truck started to back out and face the main entrance from which it had first appeared.

Everyone could hear Tirek and Scorpan’s exchanges as they got ready to start up their fiery portal. “Why do you always play this stuff? It’s barely even music!”

Tirek turned up the death metal on his stereo. “Of course a desk-jockey like you couldn’t appreciate Dethklok appropriately. The vocals of Nathan Explosion are far too metal for your feeble body to handle. You’ll never be a Brutal Legend, like Jack Black the Great!”

“Drat. So, who are you going to ‘troll’ next, you gigantic horned arse?”

“Hmm, I was thinking maybe a couple of Circe’s friends, or perhaps one of Odin’s lot. That would be a hoot! Then there’s the possibility of Morgan Freeman, Sheogorath, an obese scientist named Robotnik, a Shepard with space magic, some politicians, a yeti named Skips, six nobles, psychotic fella by the name of Ren Hoek, a Princess obsessed with candy and bubblegum...” Tirek chuckled loudly over the loud guitar rifts blasting out. “Ohh, how the glorious list just goes on!”

“Stars have mercy on me.” Scorpan muttered.

It was then that Tirek cranked up his music even higher, chuckling up a storm. Heavy death metal music was now resonating through the castle, sending vibrations that Discord, Pinkie Pie and the Princesses could all feel. Almost all the Royal Guards standing on the sides felt the urge to bang their heads back in forth to the music. The strange duo’s truck then opened up its fiery portal. The tailpipe belched out flames that dissipated into the air, the vehicle sped off through the portal. A loud guitar solo was the last everyone heard of them, and then the portal closed in a tiny explosion resembling a supernova in appearance. A still-burning trail of fire marked where the tires had went across the marble ground.

Celestia’s jaw had fallen comically again, while Luna and Pinkie Pie watched with their mouths forming ‘O’ shapes.

“Metal.” Luna remarked.

“Totally metal.” Celestia agreed.

“Wow.” Pinkie Pie said, actually left speechless for once. She quickly recovered. “I’m tired, I better get back to Ponyville now. Bye your majesties!”

Celestia and Luna both waved at her awkwardly as she bounced outside and enjoyed the new morning air. By now the flames had burned out, and Celestia asked, “What are we to do with this mess? Where should we start?”

Luna sighed. “I’m afraid I don’t know. They’re just so many piles of random stuff everywhere...”

That was Discord’s cue. He stretched and yawned, snapped his fingers, and the entire mess vanished. The throne room now looked more-or-less as it had the previous evening. Before either sister could thank him or make a comment, Discord said with an extended yawn, “You alicorns sure know how to have fun with otherworldly objects! Such self-control and grace you exhibited last night, you party animals!” Discord had transformed his own body into a bed, his face on the headboard, and was already drifting asleep.

Despite the night’s antics, both Princesses still were in a partially good mood. They rolled their eyes and chuckled good-naturedly at the sleeping Draconequus, then levitated him back to his quarters. Not long after, both took brief naps at his feet. Philomena even flew in and joined them.

Later on, at Tia’s sheer insistence, Luna eventually retreated to her own quarters for a much longer rest until evening, while she herself elected to endure through the day with only an hour of sleep to work off of. While sitting on her throne, Celestia could have sworn she kept seeing red buttons popping up out of the corner of her vision. Fortunately, it was just her exhaustion playing tricks.

All was well.

Two weeks later, Pinkie Pie was bustling about Sugar Cube Corner, doing day-to-day business.

A knocking sound drew her and the Cakes’ attention to the back door of the shop. Pinkie hummed pleasantly, curious as to who their visitor may be, and as to why they didn’t just come in through the front.

Instead of a visiting pony, everyone was greeted with an ordinary brown cardboard box. A label was on it, and she read it aloud, “Priority delivery for Ms. Pinkamena Diane Pie. Handle with care.”

“Well then, Pinkie Pie, why dont’cha take it inside and open it?” Mrs. Cake suggested with a smile.

“Good idea! Hmm, I wonder what it is...?” Pinkie beamed as the possibilities flowed through her mind and she carried the box inside. When she set it on a clear table and opened it, what she saw caused her to gawk awkwardly, abandoning her normal ever-cheerful attitude. Both the Cakes noticed her weird behavior, and went over to investigate. When they saw the contents, they too stared awkwardly.

“Wut?” Pinkie Pie asked, dumbfounded.

Inside, was a book labeled, Twilight and the Mysterious Blue Door. All three looked to each other in confusion. They shrugged, then set the story aside for later, returning to the running of Sugar Cube Corner.

Nobody noticed outside that a random, unassuming wooden door was sliding on its own across the road towards the town library; Twilight Sparkle’s abode. It’s sky blue paint, faded but not chipped, gleamed in the sunlight as it went.

The End

The Button

Luna had already raised the Moon and Celestia had lowered the Sun when the weird night had finally commenced. Oddly enough, it all started with a rather simple occurrence, receiving a strange package in one’s mail.

“Your majesty! Princess Celestia!” A royal guard cried out as he and two of his comrades rushed into the throne room at full gallop. Princess Celestia, sitting regally on her throne, raised a concerned brow at the guardsponies.

“Yes, what is happening?”

Bowing curtly, the lead guard of the trio replied. “It’s an urgent delivery, your highness!”

Celestia shifted on her throne, stretching her wings and various muscles. Royal duty on a daily basis can be very stressful on the body, you see. “From whom, my little pony?”

“Ugh...Umm. Well your majesty...” He sputtered as he rubbed his helmet with a hoof, embarrassed. “We’re not entirely sure, who, sent it. We just found it laying at your mailbox outside the draw bridge!”

The Princess let out a royal sigh. “Which box? The one with the kittens painted on it, or the one with smiley-faced suns?”

“It was in the kitten one, my lady.” The first guard replied.

Celestia pounded the edge of her throne with a hoof, gritting her teeth in anger. The sound echoed across the throne room. “Treason! I had ordered the other mailbox specifically painted with the cheerful suns for all official mail! Suns are much cooler than kittens after all.” Sighing again, the Sun Princess regained her normal, serene countenance. “How do you know it’s urgent then?’

The second guard chirped out a reply before his comrades could. “Your highness, the package is in a red box! Which means it must be important!”

Sure enough, the armored pony produced a medium-sized cardboard box covered in red, eye-catching wrapping paper from his saddle bag. He now held it aloft in his hoof for Celestia to examine it. The box had the words: ‘PRIORITY DELIVERY, HANDLE WITH CARE’ stamped into the side of the wrapping. Narrowing her eyes, Celestia grasped the box in her magical aura, and held it two feet from her face, scrutinizing the object. Magically unwrapping it, the Princess took note of the contents. Inside, was a load of packaging peanuts, excessive amounts of everybody’s favorite bubble wrap, and a single, shiny red button.

It was a small unassuming device with a silver bow tied to it. Before Celestia reached for the button, she looked up from it to the guards staring at her curiously. “Are you certain Twilight or Spike did not send this to me?”

The third guard shook his head. “We did not see anypony near the package when we spotted it. And as you can see, it has no label, your highness. As of right now, the sender is completely anonymous.”

“Please summon my sister here then, please! This...device intrigues me, but I do not understand why it’s here. Perhaps Luna can shed some light on its nature?”

Bowing, the guards complied. “Yes, your majesty. Right away!” The trio set off to fetch Luna. One of them tripped over the box as he went. A guard standing off to the side between two pillars face-hoofed at the display. In the meantime, Celestia levitated the button out, examining it from every angle.

Princess Luna then strode into the room. “Tia, what is it you....OOOH!”

Letting out a squee of delight, Luna rushed to the box now lying on the floor, and stuck her muzzle inside. Pulling out several strands of bubble-wrap with her mouth, she put them on the floor and gleefully began to pop the little bubbles with her forehooves, giggling like a little filly.

“Luna, over here sister! It’s the contents of the package, not the wrapping I called you to see!” Celestia said impatiently, still holding the button in front of her. Glancing up from the bubble wrap, several pieces of the sticky packaging peanuts fell from Luna’s face and mane. Pointing a hoof at the button, the younger Princess said, “Pray tell, what is that you are holding Tia?”

Celestia looked back at her sister with confusion. “I... Don’t have a clue. Obviously some kind of button. I assumed it was something for you. Are you certain you did not order this off the internet somewhere?”

Luna shook her head. “I never order anything. I just find what I want and teleport it here, Tia. So much faster than slow old pegasi snail mail.”

“Then, what could this possibly be?” Celestia put a hoof to her cheek, confounded that such a  simplistic-looking object could be so... So esoteric.

An idea popped into Luna’s head as she glanced at the apparently empty box. She rushed over to it, and digging through the wrappings, the alicorn discovered a handwritten note. Looking back up to her sister, Luna grinned. “Tia, breakthrough! I’ve found a note.”

Celestia continued to analyze the object. Even going so far as to prod at it with her hoof. Not looking away from the button, she replied in a deadpan voice. “What...does... It say?”

Clearing her throat, Luna read the message out loud. “It says:

‘Dear sir or madame. To whom it may concern: The button you now possess is a highly powerful, extremely dangerous device. You have been entrusted to keep this object safe for the entire night until dawn tomorrow. If anyone attempts to convince you to push the button on the device’s top, please, do not listen to them. Its power has not yet been appropriately estimated, and the effects are completely unpredictable. For the safety of the universe at large, please keep the device under heavy guard, and whatever you do, do not listen to it if it tries to speak to you! Above all else, DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON!’

"Well isn’t that... Odd.”

Luna looked up quickly from the note, to the button, of which Celestia was now holding in her hoof. The older sister had an odd glazed-over look in her eyes, and with her tongue in her cheek, she was slowly lowering her other hoof to the button. With a look of horror, Princess Luna charged at Celestia. “Tia, NO! Don’t press it!”

“Shiny...” Celestia mumbled in reply.

Batting the button out of her sister’s hoof, Luna breathed a slight sigh of relief. Gasping loudly, with her violet eyes fully widened, Celestia stood as if snapping out of a trance. “I, what in the name of Harmony was that all about? It’s like, something was talking to me... Inside my mind!”

Luna laid a wing on her older sister’s shoulder. “You’re alright now, Tia. We need to grab that... that thing, and chuck it over the mountain side! I’m not trusting anypony to guard it if not even you are immune to its mental manipulation!”

As the Princess of the Night spoke to the her sister, a guard nearby stared at the button a little too long. His eyes going blank, he began to shuffle towards it, dropping his spear with a loud clatter on the hard marble floor. “Your highness! One of ours has fallen to the button’s unholy sway!” Another guard cried out.

Just as the two alicorns turned to see what was happening, the guard shouted. “So SHINY!” Before lunging at the object, and cleanly landing his armored hoof over the red button on top.

“NO!” Both Princesses shouted in unison.

They were too late, as the guard’s hoof clamped down on the button. It made a loud ‘beep’ as it was pressed. Breaking free from the button’s mental grip, the beleaguered guard on the floor shook his head fiercely. “Huh? Wha...” He stammered. One of his fellow guardsponies dragged him as far away from the supernatural device as the stallion could.The button was now emitting an angry red glow, and shook vigorously across the floor. With a final violent jolt, it unleashed a large shockwave of energy which cascaded across the room.

Luna and Celestia grimaced and closed their eyes in worry as the wave passed over them. Guards covered their eyes and tried to protect their faces with their forelegs.

When the wave subsided and faded away into the air, a girly-sounding shriek echoed out across the throne room. It was quickly followed by a chorus of several more. The Princesses opened their eyes, and were greeted by a horrifying sight. Their jaws dropped open as they took in the scene.

Half of the guards present in the room, had been turned into mares.

Several kept looking at each other and screaming once again, in complete shock. Others ran around in circles, panicking. One of them managed to trip over the button, accidentally triggering it again. This time, the button was still and calm as it released its magic. The device turned the chandeliers into hundreds of bits, which subsequently showered to the floor with loud jingles.

Discord then appeared in a side doorway, naturally attracted by all the chaotic commotion. Everything only escalated from there.

“My oh my Celestia! What ever are you chaps doing in here, hmm?” The Draconequus peered at the now female guards curiously. “I see you’re finally allowing the fairer gender into the Royal Guard.”

The presumably reformed Spirit of Chaos let out a light chuckle. “Quite a bold move on your part, Tia. I hope some of Equestria’s more... traditional Elite don’t take objection to this. You know how destructive and chaotic those boring, tea-sipping aristocrats can be when they’re fussy.”

Luna scowled at him, as the guards continued to run around in panic. “Discord, go back into your room where you belong!”

Dejected, Discord folded his mismatched arms and pouted his lip. “But the TV doesn’t get HBO or AMC, and I’m missing The Walking Dead and the final episodes of Breaking Bad! And the air conditioner keeps blowing out hot air!”

The Princess of the Night now stared at him incredulously. "Why don’t you just call a repair pony... No, better yet, how about you go and use your magic to fix it yourself! We have a situation on our hands, draconequus!”

Discord scoffed. “Oh, fine. I’ll go and take care of it all by my lonesome. It’s not as if I wanted to chat with somepony tonight anyways.” While the two had their conversation, the panicking guards managed to trip over the device again, this time sending it tumbling over to Celestia’s hooves. Before she knew it, the button once again had her in its sway.

Without hesitating, she activated it. Princess Celestia blinked twice, as the energy from the object washed over her.

Celestia’s Point of View...

It was a dessert wonderland!

All around the Princess stood giant, exquisitely made cakes and pies. The pillars were replaced with giant candy canes, and vanilla-filled eclairs littered the floor. Towards where the entrance was supposed be, a giant oven now stood. Creepy carnival music played in background.

With a loud, distorted dinging sound, the oven door popped open. Inside was a chocolate souffle. It’s irresistible aroma curled seductively towards Celestia from afar.

The alicorn felt her mouth water with desire.

As she slowly made her way over, she stepped on one of the eclairs. Blinking, she looked down to inspect it hungrily. The eclairs then morphed into parasprites made of skittles. When Celestia pulled one of them towards her mouth with her telekinesis, the others started yelling at her in squeaky high-pitched voices.

“You’re hallucinating, your highness!”

“Why are you eating that, Tia?!”

“Somepony’s got a weird appetite!”

Without hesitation, Celestia snatched the others up as well. They all quieted up in her mouth with a pleasing, fruity crunch. Just before she could swallow the candy, she was seized on the shoulders by a massive four-tiered wedding cake. It’s frosting arms seemed to leave stains on the Princess’ brilliant white coat. The chewed up candy insects fell from her mouth to the floor.

Out of nowhere, a cake, fork and knife, all cast in fine platinum, appeared in air. They levitated en masse towards Celestia. She snatched them up and attempted to cut a slice for herself. On the top of the cake, the bride mare figurine came to life and shouted at her. “SNAP OUT OF IT, MY SISTER!” Celestia struggled, attempting to break free of the talking cake’s firm grip. The cake than gave her a good shake, stopping the Princess in her tracks.

Discord, still in his usual bodily form, pranced around nearby in a tutu, performing Russian ballet. All at once, the music faded, the bizarre desserts vanished, and the real world took hold once more.

Reality?

Celestia broke out of her second button-induced trance, and looked at the world around her. At her hooves on the ground were packaging peanuts, covered in saliva with teeth marks clearly pressed into them.

The Princess suddenly felt a bitter taste in her mouth, realizing what the skittle parasprites actually were.

Discord was admiring the new chaos unfolding around him, and Luna was still grasping Celestia with her wings, her face etched with concern. In the distance, Philomena hooted in distress, somehow free of her cage. Apparently the button had been triggered a fourth time.

Luna however, kept Celestia from observing what the latest effects of the activation were. Gazing intently at her older sister, Luna shook Celestia again, getting her attention. “Tia, the note has changed, it has a new message on it now! We have to find a way to get rid of this device before its effects start spreading to things outside the Castle!”

Still in a thick daze of oblivion, the older Princess could only nod weakly.

The Office of Morgan Freeman Pony

"Can someone please round up these blasted Draconequii? Discord, get yourselves under control!" Princess Luna shouted over the persistent wub-wub of the ambient dubstep.

By now all the Royal Guards could hear were the exquisite beats of hardcore dubstep as they stumbled around on their hind legs, trying to find things to stuff deep into their ear canals for relief. The top hat and monocle wearing Discords stood by laughing at the stallions' misfortune. A few sat on seats now made out of cheese and pretzels instead of wood, sipping tea, and watching the struggling guards, making remarks on the situation.

"Oh my!"

"How quaint."

Wub wub, wub wub

"Why Mister Discord, are they not the epitome of unluckiness?"

"Umm yes, quite. Wouldn't you agree, Mister Discord."

"Yes, I would Mister Discord."

"I don't always drink tea to the entertaining sight of chaos, but when I do, I prefer camomile."

"Hmm hm hmm, quite so Mister Discord."

Wub wub wub

"Oh, you gents are so uncreative. Why not watch tea and drink some chaos instead?!"

"Mister Discord, you are a genius my old chap!"

None of the Draconequii seemed the least bit fazed by the grey pegasus currently galloping amok, roaring and setting fire to numerous objects as she chased after the original Discord. He still had the lemon muffin in his hand. "Give me MUFFIN!" Ditzy Doo roared. Discord chuckled, teleporting back and forth and effortlessly dodging her laser attacks.

"Discord, cease this muffin business at once and deal with your doppelgangers!" Luna ordered again.

The Draconequus chuckled amusement and instead jogged out of the main entrance of the throne room, with a rampaging Derpy following closely behind like some kind of one-mare stampede, if stampedes possessed laser eyes.

"Sister, we must secure the button at once. Another activation of this magnitude could be catastrophic!" To Luna's credit, half a forest did just uproot itself and run for the hills after all. What could possibly be next? Many present must be wondering.

To Luna's surprise, Celestia paid no attention to her. Tia's eyes had glazed over again as she stared at the button on the ground. "Tia! Sister...what are you...? OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Luna exclaimed.

"Cake..." Was all that the sun princess muttered back. Before Luna could raise a hoof to stop her, Celestia had already reached the button, her own hoof hanging only inches above the shiny red surface.

Determined to prevent a possible cataclysm in the making, Luna tackled the slightly larger alicorn. "How many times must I say it Tia? You have to focus, or this button will destroy all!"

Celestia glared up at her from the ground. "Cake? Cake!" The Princess broke out of Luna's grip and pressed the button.

"NO!" Luna shouted, grimacing and expecting the worst. The button didn't do anything.

"C...Cake?" Celestia asked sadly, looking around as if confused. Luna took the opportunity to snatch the device up, where it was safe from her sister's hypnotized grasp.

"You will give me my cake, or I will banish you!" Princess Celestia roared in almost demonic sounding voice, her eyes now alight. Using her wings, Celestia propelled towards her sister rapidly and snatched the button back, wasting no time in pressing the device multiple times, yelling out 'cake' with each strike of her hoof.

Luna rushed forward, desperate to stop Celestia, but the button would not allow that to happen. It left the Night Princess stuck in a time loop. "Stop, don't press it!" Luna was almost upon her sister, galloping, she reached out a hoof to..

(Press)

"Stop, don't you dare press it!" Luna was almost upon her sister, and using her horn to teleport herself just in time, she reached out a hoof to...

(Press)

"Stop, don't you dare press it!" Luna was almost upon...

(Press)

"Stop, don't you dare..."

(Pressed several times in succession)

"Stop..."

Celestia pressed the button one final time in an effort to receive her imaginary chocolate and fudge pound cake that infuriatingly never materialized. Instead, something far more unpredictable happened. Luna suddenly found herself free of the time loop. However, everything had disappeared, literally.

Luna turned her head frantically, trying to come to terms with what her eyes were showing her. Everything was blank white, and the button was nowhere to be found.

It was almost as if they were on the inside of a massive white box. The 'floor' was snow white. The 'walls', snow white. Can you guess the color of the 'ceiling'? Eeyup, as white as fresh snow. But the white surfaces weren't the only features of note here. Celestia regained her normal behavior, and looked around with confusion. "Where in my name are we, Luna?"

"I...don't know, my sister. Wherever 'here' is, it's definitely not the Castle, or even Equestria." Luna replied, dumbfounded.

"Welcome to my office, your majesties." A rich, deeply appealing voice greeted them from somewhere behind. Turning around, the regal sisters noticed for the first time a middle-aged stallion with a salt and pepper beard, stubble, and mane. He possessed wise brown eyes, and a shiny silver ear ring pierced his right ear.

He wore an all-white suit and tie over his tan-colored coat, and smiled at them knowingly. "The Princesses turned to regard the well dressed stranger, unsure if what they were seeing was indeed reality. Finally regaining her voice from the firm grasp of surprise, Luna at last spoke to him." The stallion said, randomly narrating.

"You're...you're Morgan Freeman, aren't you." Luna proclaimed, her voice filled with astonishment. Morgan Freeman grinned kindly, and chuckled. His laugh sounded like one of Fluttershy's lullabies mixed with the calls of a songbird.

"Guilty as charged, Princess Luna." Morgan Freeman replied.

"But how, what?" Celestia sputtered, not regaining her composure as quickly as her sister had.

Morgan Freeman held up a hoof, and approached them, going around Morgan Freeman's desk. The mahogany desk was massive and ornate, but its splendor was nothing compared to the eloquence of its owner's divine golden voice. The desks' sole contents on its surface were a few books, a pocket watch, a computer tablet, and a key to a small, rather unassuming filing cabinet behind Morgan Freeman.

"I take you're here because you pressed the button, didn't you?" Morgan Freeman inquired. The worried looks in their eyes answered Morgan Freeman's question for them in a way words could not. Morgan Freeman chuckled at them again. "Don't worry, I'm sure nothing too bad could have come out of it. Most artifacts like the button's kind tend to just have their fun, run their course than find new worlds to cause mischief in. Its simply their nature."

"You seem to know an awful lot about this button. Pray tell, are you perchance the one who sent it to us?" Luna asked with a thick note of suspicion in her voice.

Morgan Freeman's grin downgraded to a humble smile. Nevertheless, it was still graceful enough to turn something like sour milk into finely aged world-renowned wine. "I'm afraid not, your majesty. You see, I merely narrate the events of history, not make them."

"I see." Luna replied, nodding. "Such a magnificent voice is likely what keeps our universes from completely tearing asunder, is that not accurate?" Morgan Freeman didn't reply, and simply winked at her.

"But still, why are we here, Mr. Freeman?" Celestia inquired.

Morgan Freeman went back behind Morgan Freeman's desk and sat down, clasping his hooves together. "To be straightforward, there is someone who would like to have an audience with you, your majesties."

"Who might this mysterious individual be then? Please tell me its not Sombra, Nightmare, or...ugh...her!" Celestia flashed her tongue in a foalish show of disgust, causing her crown to tilt to a comical position atop her regal head.

Morgan Freeman waved his hoof towards the filing cabinet. That's when Pinkie Pie suddenly started bouncing around from behind the cabinet and towards Celestia and Luna. "Hiya, your majesties!" She greeted them sweetly. "Lovely night we're having, huh?"

"Cease your insolence at once, citizen! This chaotic quagmire of a night is not deserving of such amicable descriptions!" Luna barked, taken aback at the party pony's jubilancy.

Celestia sighed and fixed her magenta eyes on Pinkie Pie, following her as she bounced up and down. "Now, now Luna. This pony is almost always in good spirits. Now, what is it that you wished to discuss with us, Madame Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh, nothing." Pinkie replied simply. Both sister's ears fell flat, and Luna nearly face-hoofed. "Somepony had left a note under my pillow that told me to warn you not to press the button again, or that things would only escalate...something like that." Pinkie Pie shrugged indifferently and continued to bounce, with a grin on her face that any grandmother would instantly want to pinch affectionately.

"You're kidding, right?" Celestia inquired in a deadpan voice. "We end up teleporting to one of Morgan Freeman's home dimensions while our kingdom is at risk, only to be told essentially the same message we've already received?!" She face hoofed. "I think I'm going to shut down the government and sleep in for a week or two once this night is all over."

"Who left you this note, Pinkie Pie?" Luna asked urgently. "Did you see them?"

Pinkie Pie put a hoof thoughtfully to her muzzle. "Hmm, now that I think about it, I did see the silly silhouette of a unicorn slip through my door while I was counting sheep. But I have no idea who it was. I'm sure they just left it as a silly confusing prank or something, it's what I would do." She finished with a chuckle.

"A unicorn you say? Hmm. That leaves me with some potential candidates for starting this button debacle."

"Oooh! I KNOW! Maybe it was one of those people!" Pinkie Pie suddenly turned towards a random direction and waved into space cheerfully.

"Who are you looking at, Morgan Freeman inquired of Pinkie Pie." Morgan Freeman said, narrating himself.

"Why, the audience silly! They're supposed to know everything, right?"

Luna face-hoofed, sighing deeply. "Pinkie Pie, there is no audience. What does this seem like to you? Some kind of sitcom huh? A cartoon? This is serious business, Equestria may be at great risk!"

"Umm, no I suppose not. Sorry." Pinkie's mane partially deflated, making it flat instead of curly and frizzy.

"Please, that is enough you two!" Celestia cleared her throat for an extended period of time. "Will that be all, Mister Morgan Freeman?" She asked with waning curiosity.

"I'm afraid that's all, your majesty." Morgan Freeman replied, taking a sip of water from a glass next to him. It turned into a cup of pomegranate mineral water, and then refilled itself as Morgan Freeman set it down on a golden coaster atop Morgan Freeman's desk.

"Where is the exit then?" Luna asked. "It's right behind you, Your Highness." Morgan Freeman responded, waving towards something.

The alicorns turned around, and beheld the floating entrance to an old-fashioned looking 1920's elevator with a glowing 'exit' sign above the gilded doors. "Ah, alright then. Let us hasten back, Tia. Who knows what may have happened in our brief absence!"

Pinkie Pie quickly bounced after Luna as she entered the elevator car. "Don't forget me!" She said in a sing-song voice

"Of course you two, just give me a second." Celestia turned towards Morgan Freeman one final time. "Thank you mister Freeman for shedding some light on the true nature of this evil red button. You may have done Equestria a great service this night!"

Morgan Freeman nodded his head at her, beaming. "Oh, I hardly did anything your highness. Feel free to pay me a visit from time to time, I'm sure you are a great conversationalist." Celestia nodded to the stallion gracefully, then joined Luna and Pinkie Pie in the elevator. Just as the doors began to slide shut, Morgan Freeman waved jovially at them and called out.

"Send Fluttershy my best, won't you your majesty?"

"Oh, umm of course Mister Freeman, I'll do that." Celestia said hurriedly as the doors closed.

"The elevator then vanished from Morgan Freeman's sight with a wink of bright white light, taking the three back to the land of Equestria. Morgan Freeman pony was sad to see his royal guests go, but knew that they have duties to keep. There was still Grand Theft Auto Five left to play, after all." He said, Morgan Freeman's tablet now instantly turning into a PlayStation 3.

"Trevor is no ordinary psychotic Redneck, as you can see here from the way he is mysteriously laying in his underwear on the train tracks when you switch to his character. Los Santos was in for yet another day of heavy destruction, drunk driving, and coarse language." Morgan Freeman narrated as he played the game.